#i kept putting this one off bc i couldn't figure out how to do it in the end i just did the same as the birth chart set.. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

futureplayboibunnie · 10 months

Text

Strong Enough

Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader

18+ MDNI (y’all pls this is filthy)

- GIGGLING. KICKING MY FEET. i came back from spiderverse with JUST THIS MAN ON MY MIND. oscar isaac ur service is appreciated cause gah dayum.

- i had to write some super angsty smut abt him. i just had to, he’s so lana del rey vinylllll. i’m sorry if my spanish is crap (i had to use google translate bc my stupid ass took german instead of spanish in school- pls tell me if there were any mistakes. kiss kiss x)

warnings: dom!miguel, pnv, lotsa dirty talk (think i got carried away), angsty miguel, FANGS, sort of a soft end. AGGHH IM SO CRAZY ABOUT HIM WHAT THE FUCK.

enjoy bbygirls x

Miguel was furious as usual, his blood was beating like a drum with it, his mind buzzing akin to white noise. New anomalies, new foes but mostly a pesky kid who didn't know how to stay put and shut the fuck up- Miles Morales. He was seething- his eyes glowing a crimson hue violently assaulting against the hazel of his eyes. He looked like shit. Hell, he felt like shit. He was slipping, letting things get in the way, and he blamed you for it. Miguel doesn't slip. Miguel doesn't let things get in the way. Only until you came into his life and veered him off his intended course.

It was his hegemonic masculinity piping up like a hot breath down his neck. Miguel brought together the spider society- he was the solution to every problem, every anomaly, the answer to every spider. But he doesn't answer to himself. No, he didn't. You were the one that was overseeing Miguel's little society, hiding and checking in from time to time if the multiverse wasn't fucked up and every dimension was in a semi-stable state. Miguel was in control of the other spiders, he had to run his orders by you first even if you weren't at HQ half of the time. Being in a subservient position was exorbitantly and intensely frustrating and it made him highly hostile to anyone who talked to him.

You on the other hand had the jurisdiction to give him the authority- you gave him the damn idea, you were from his damn universe, but you couldn't deal with the politics and moral dilemmas that came with leading it. Also, you enjoyed toying with him. Fuck you found so much satisfaction in crawling through him, blowing at that over-inflated ego, those broad shoulders filled to the brim with hubris and pride. Hm, he was good at what he did though- actively scaring off anyone who dared speak against him. Except for Morales. You appreciated his pluck, it reminded you of yourself. Miguel was formidable but you understood why he needed to apprehend Morales- for some reason every time you were near the kid you started glitching out, it fucking hurt and messed with your brainwaves. You understood why he had to capture Miles but you didn't agree with how he was handling it. Miguel was sitting at his desk trying to figure out why this was happening and why this was happening to you but he came up empty. He didn't know what to think about it let alone do. It made him feel uneasy and he hated it. Cómo pedo solucionar esto? (How do I fix this?) kept looping throughout his head and it made him feel helpless and weak. Two words he would never associate with himself.

‘’Miguel.’’ Your voice echoed off the walls and shot straight to his ears, it was smoky and breathy.

"Y/N. Qué estás haciendo aquí? What do you want?’’ His usual low timbre makes your brows furrow involuntarily. ‘’Get out of the shadows.’’ He ordered and for once you listened to him, hopping on his platform behind him.

‘’Morales.’’ You stated deadpan knowing the reaction he was going to get, Miguel's eyes drastically narrowed and changed from a soft ambient scarlet to a scorching blood red. He turned his face a little to the side to glare at you.

"That kid touches anything in another dimension, I'll kill him myself.’’ He replied huskily. You weren't sure if you could trust his words. Yes, he was capable of it but you know deep down he wouldn't want to.

His moral compass strayed once, he won't let that happen again. Never.

"You wanna kill kids now? Is that how low we're going?'’

'We? There's we now?’’

You cocked your head at his question, your face remaining hard.

He stared at you in silent fury, of course he wouldn't want to resort to that but he had to do what he had to do. Miguel was surprised you didn't want to take him yourself considering he makes you glitch out. He hates you, God he hates you. But what happened to you...scared him. You'd been a part of this for so long, if anyone was going to hurt you it would be him- not anyone else. If anyone else did- Miguel dismissed the thought as quickly as it came.

Sometimes when he looked at you, he couldn't help but admire your callousness, your brutality yet your undying generosity to people who didn't deserve such a royalty. On the other hand, you were fucking gorgeous. He hated it. It was distracting. It was cruel. Though he couldn't help a little blip or mishap with his thought process- he was still a man after all. Miguel wondered what was under that suit. Wondered what you would like with nothing on at all. Wondered if you would still talk back with that snotty little attitude if you were choking on his dick instead. Though he wouldn't trust you not to bite his dick off in the process. Would you like his fangs? Would you like his claws? He shouldn’t be thinking such a thing.

‘’I should ask you the same question since he affects your stability también.’’ He replied calmly, slightly shocking you. ‘’No matter, I'll stop it. Alone.’’ He growled as he stepped off the platform, tired of entertaining this conversation with you. ‘’You've done enough damage as it is, now I have to fix it.’’

‘’I caused this damage? You realize how fucking stupid you sound. You control the spiders, I let you make orders.’’ You strike a harsh tone as you jolted in front of him to stop his path. Shit, he towered above you, all broad shoulders and disheveled hair. Although he undermined you like this, you wouldn't mind it in other situations...but at work, he was quite literally a piece of work and it made your blood boil. You both knew, you both could feel the palpable hatred swinging and beating again. ‘’And alone? I don't trust you not to kill him, Miguel.’’ You scowled, your eyes wide and piercing through him, halting him in his tracks. The gaze shared between you both was impenetrable, scorching, a battle against wills.

‘’I can't let you.’’ He shot back with a frown and grating red eyes.

‘’While I watch helplessly from the sidelines? I don’t think so. ’’ You challenged him white cold.

‘’I'm asking you, don't let me make you.’’ He gritted through clenched teeth, his fangs lightly protruding.

He was trying to scare you, it wasn't working.

‘’What is this to you? Playtime? To prove you're the strongest, to create fear wherever you go?’’ You pleaded with him orotund, inviting a yelling match to prove you weren't going down easy on this occasion.

You let Miguel do whatever he damn pleased like this was his own hunting grounds- but you won't let him lose his sanity.

‘’What? No.’’He replied shocked and confused at your presumed reasons why he was doing this. He just had to. He couldn't tell you the deep-rooted reason.

He didn't want to admit it.

Fuck, he couldn't admit it.

What kind of man would that make him?

What kind of leader? What kind of example would he be?

‘’Then what is it-?’’ He was trying to walk away from you but you snaggled onto his suit and brought him back to face you. ‘’Tell me.’’ You ordered stiffly.

‘’I have to do this alone.’’ His voice faltered a little and he was afraid that you might have heard it, that he gave you a glaring view of how quickly he was slipping through the cracks- how weak you've made him, how weak he was becoming.

‘’Why? Why do you need to, Miguel?!’’ You were almost yelling at him and no one other than you would get the privilege of living if they did that.

‘’Stop it.’’ He grunted like a wild animal.

"Then what-? What is it?’’ Your eyes searched for his as he was avoiding looking at your face, terrified that it would be written all over it. His heart was pounding.

‘’I'm not-‘’

‘’Not what?’’ You implored, pushing him further and further to the edge.

‘’I'm not strong enough.’’

‘'Strong enough? Oh yeah, and going after a kid will make you stronger.’’ You chided, eyes stiff cold, and judgemental.

‘’Yes, fuck. I-. No!’’ Miguel raked an exasperated hand through his hair, his palm was twitching and his talons were ready to come out. If only he could make you understand without telling you- but you were insatiable, a tick under his skin. Ready for another fucking fight.

Your eyebrows wilted as you said the words, so unbelievably paralyzed by his gall, his hubris, his never-ending need to prove he's the strongest, that he could do all of this. You knew he fucking could. ‘’That's what this is, some sort of bench press exercise for you? Some sort of work-out?!’’ Miguel grabbed you by the arms and his talons pinched at your skin through his suit, like he was trying to shake some sense into you.

‘’I can't lose you again!’’ He yelled at you, his face merely inches away from yours.

Your mouth popped open at his frazzled admission of honesty, his glowing red eyes faded as he stared at you, hoping for an answer he was sure you wouldn't give him. Miguel's harsh expression was lost with the wind when he hung his head to avoid that fucking look in your eyes. The one that made all the weight of the world he carried on his shoulders all the more fucking heavier, his hands raked down your arms as if he was soothing himself, and his breath became heavier as he closed his eyes to process the words he uttered. You glitching out every time Miles was near you is not an option he was willing to entertain: it was his job to worry about anomalies and canon events but on this occasion- he didn't. And he was admitting that to you.

It's not the fact that he's dangerous or an anomaly. It's because of you.

What kind of selfish would that make him?

Last time that happened he lost everything.

He would never make the same mistake again.

But look at him now.

Making the same mistake.

‘’I can't lose you. No otra vez....I'm not str-I'm not strong enough.’’ His head hung low as if the weight of the universe was saving him from completely falling apart.

You sighed in a mix of relief and pity. This is what it was all about? Pobre cosa (poor thing). Your eyes were wide with a magnetic pulse and your body was radiating a mesmeric need. He felt it. Your hands flew to his chest and slowly meandered to his broad shoulders, he was panting in exhaustion and regret but your fingers went to his chin and jutted it upwards so your longing stare could meet his. It was a scorching look between two tired and exhausted people. Miguel was working himself so hard and you just wanted to make him forget about it, just once.

‘’Miguel…’’

‘’Ahora me he dado cuenta de que no puedo hacer nada de esto sin ti.’’ (I've now come to realize that I can't do any of this without you). Miguel's eyes flitted to your lips, his voice low and husky...needy. ‘’But I'm a selfish man... y te necesito.’’ (and I need you). Your face looked blank, it's obvious you didn't understand a word he was saying. ‘’Whatever, you wouldn't understand what I'm saying anyway.’’ Miguel dismissed you as he let go of your embrace and attempted to head out.

Before he could move away too far, you exposed your wrist and webbed him, dragging him back to you. His eyes glinted with a surprise yet they were dark with need and arrogance. Miguel was in front of you and your pussy started throbbing. His senses went into overdrive and he couldn't hold back his will to not touch you anymore.

‘'He entendido cada palabra que me has dicho.’’ (I've understood every word you've ever said to me.)

He gripped your face and kissed you hard, it was furious and mean, and he tasted dangerous- just as you expected, just as you had been silently begging him to. Lord, you were sure you'd regret this but right now your body was alive. Miguel's massive hands pulled at your hair to open your mouth wider

'’Miguel...féllame, por favor.’’ (fuck me, please) you uttered breathlessly, his mouth traveling from your bottom lip, chin, and then neck. His lips then went to breathe raggedly in your ear.

‘’You've understood everything I've ever said under my breath about you?’’ He murmured, imploring you to make him understand. He thought he had the privilege of saying things secretly as no one understood his Spanish but him, so he could say things he didn't want to keep inside without anyone else knowing. But you pulled the rug out from under him, you've been fooling him. He hated it. The number of times he's mumbled how much he wanted you under his breath- fuck.

‘’Mhm.’’ You moaned as his hands flew to your hips and slammed you down on his desk with no finesse, planting himself between your soft thighs. ‘’I thought you would've caught me earlier than this chico.’’ You teased- the thought made him angry. His talons seeped out of his skin and ripped at your suit, exposing the bare skin of your waist.

‘’Y me he dado cuenta de lo mojada que te pones cuando estás cerca de mí.’’ (And I've noticed how wet you get when you're near me) The filthy words rolled off of his tongue like velvet. ‘’Don't think you have the upper hand here sweetheart.’’

‘’Even when I want you to fuck me, you still have to fucking argue with me.’’ You growled as your hands burrowed into his long raven hair

‘’Oh, but you like it this way.’’ He smirked in your ear, the cadence of his voice reducing your knees to that of fucking jelly.

"How do you know what I like? You never asked.’’ You flirted back, treading on dangerous waters with the man that is known for having paper-thin patience.

‘’Shut the fuck up.’’ Miguel clawed at your waist and then spun you around so the tops of your thighs were. digging into the translucent glass of his desk. All of a sudden, he placed his large palm just below your neck and shoved you flat onto the desk just with brute force. You were sure you were about to start salivating.

‘’Oh, mierda.’’ He breathed raggedly, his wandering hands ripping at your suit. ‘’Beautiful, dangerous, deadly. Pretending as if you're better than me... like you're not capable of killing.’’ He ripped at your suit some more, exposing more of your skin. Your breath trembled in anticipation as he bent down to whisper hotly in your ear, your ass already feeling his strong- oh. Shit. ‘’You drive my fucking crazy, you know that?’’ He ripped your suit until it was nothing but scraps. You were naked and desperate under him.

‘’Me vuelves loco.’’ (You make me insane).

‘’Stop fucking talking and just take me, Miguel.’’ You whined desperately as your cheek pressed coldly against the glass, your hair splaying all over your shoulders like a waterfall.

‘’Abre la boca.’’ (Open your mouth) He growled like an animal but you were too concerned with your wobbly legs and fraying patience, you replied with a stunned silence, almost jittering like a fool. A frown contorted on Miguel's perfect face, scrunching up his chiseled, picturesque features. His right hand gripped your hair pulling you up to him, his left hand brushed against your lips until he fully force-plunged two fingers in your mouth- saliva coating his fingers as you gagged and choked. Oh, he couldn't wait to get you on your knees- the thought provoked some visceral reaction within him.

‘’'That's it, good girl.’’ He grumbled the affirmation and it sent sparks shooting throughout your body.

Miguel rarely ever praised or complimented so this....fuck. ...this was different, you felt so damn special to him. The ever-so-broody Miguel O'Hara calling you a 'good girl' made an unstoppable moan rip through your throat. ‘’Oh, so you like to be loud? Seems like you can't shut up when you're getting fucked too.’’ He insulted adding insult to injury which just made you sweat.

‘’Is the venom from your fangs rushing straight to your head, Miguel? Or did you not hear what I said?’’ You spat with a distinct sharpness that he'd come to expect from you, he was glad to see he hadn't scared the personality out of you which he had the tendency to do to every single person he met. However, one thing he absolutely couldn't tolerate was backtalking- which you had a tendency to get away with most times but he thought this was the perfect situation to reinstate his rules. Miguel tugged on your hair again like his own personal leash.

‘’Puede que quiera joderte ahora mismo, pero no pienses ni por un segundo que no te haré sufrir en el proceso.’’ (I may want to fuck the shit out of you right now but don't think for a second that I won't make you suffer in the process) His voice was aggressive and heady and you were stiff with arousal, your pussy was aching for him.

‘’Por favor Miguel.’’ You begged softly and it made his gaze narrow and his fangs spike out of his gums.

At times like this, he was glad he had a suit that would come on and off as he pleased- right now he was sweating with need and he was thankful he was able to quickly rid of his suit. Miguel didn't think he would be this hard, but then again you did always have a knack for surprising him when he least expected it. His large palm smacked at your ass and he was happy to see a large indent of the outline he made. Like he had a claim on you.

‘’Miguel!’’ You whined like a bitch in heat.

He didn't listen to your plead, he didn't even tease you into it first, his rigid dick just slipped into your soaking wet heat and he'd never felt this pleasure...ever. You were seriously about to cry. He wanted you to. Your pussy molded around his dick, and you were afraid he wasn't even going to fit- but Miguel always finds a way. He felt so...fucking good. The dull ache inside of your stomach was twisting into a fit of knots and butterflies, he quite literally pulsated inside of you

"Tan apretado cariño.’’ (So tight sweetheart) Miguel's chest rumbled alongside his dirty words. Fucking hell, it was like you were vacuum sealed to his dick. He started rutting into you with abandon, without mercy.

You felt so good. He was so.. good...at this, as much as you hated to admit it. He kept pawing at your body, his talons creating the animalistic tension that much heavier between you.

‘’Mi vida...’’ He purred in your ear, going harder and faster with every pained moan that ripped through your throat like it was an incentive for him to keep going.

‘’So perfect for me. Squeezing me so well...Mierda.’’

‘’You want me?’’ You teased innocently as you twisted your head to look at him through doe eyes. His eyes were roaring red as his grip on your hips seeped into your skin harder.

‘’You know I do.’’ Miguel gritted through clenched teeth, baring his fangs. The sight just made you wetter. ‘’Let me show you how much.’’ He bent down and it felt like he was going to snap you in half, you were so close to reaching your peak. To add insult to injury, he bit down on the skin of your bare shoulder blade and blood dripped from his fangs when he pulled away- your moan in response was that of perfection. Fuck it hurt but it felt amazing.

‘’It's okay, mi vida, come for me. I won't tell.’’ Miguel cooed, showing a tender side to him as he kissed down your shoulder blade to your back. You obeyed his command and came onto him- violently, so fucking hard. A guttural groan rumbled from his chest and your honeyed pants brought him back to life- a cause and effect. He fucked you through your orgasm and allowed himself the privilege of finishing inside you.

Miguel pulled out of you, leaking against the back of your thigh in the process. The scene was filthy, completely obscene and you never thought this would actually happen. ‘’Stay still princesa.’’ He commanded and you actually listened to him. The pressure of Miguel's body left you exposed as your ears pricked up to hear a rustle of draws and a clattering of things behind you. You turned your head around and his hologram suit was back on, it hugged him so fucking tightly your knees were starting to shake again.

You felt his presence again as you felt a cloth clean up the leaks down your thighs. ‘’Muchas gracias, Miguel.’’ Smartass. You flirted and he just smirked back at you, helping you stand up straight and face him when he got you cleaned up. You gazed up at him, quite chipper if you were being completely honest. Maybe a good hard fucking from his was all you needed to straighten you out. His eyes were still greedy as they raked up and down your naked body.

‘’As much as I prefer you like this...here.’’ A hologram covered you and your suit was back on, fine lines and all- well, that's easier than what you have to go through every day to get it sitting nicely.

You gazed at the scraps of your suit that were on the floor. Jesus Christ, he fucked like an animal.

"Nice to know chivalry isn't dead.' You tiptoed so you could get closer to his face and kissed his cheek. ‘’Thanks for the fuck, Miguel. Also by the way, I'm still not letting you kill that kid.’’ You patted his shoulder sarcastically- toying with him even further. You just walked away from him and his platform, you left him in a stunned silence and a blank expression, he scoffed breathlessly as he turned around to see you saunter away so damn confidently.

‘’Princesa no tan rapida.’’ (Not so fast princess) He replied back with a broken half smile. He suddenly exposed his wrist and a web flew to your waist and he instantaneously pulled you back in front of him. The breathless expression on your face was something that needed to be showcased in galleries.

‘’Can't lose me again? Object permanence is a thing you know torombolo.’’ You joked and his brows furrowed slightly in response, his arms wrapped tightly around you.

‘’Don't joke about that mi vida.’’ Miguel's face had a sheen of concern and it made your stomach twist into butterflies. ‘’You could die.’’ His voice came across as more stern than intended but you didn't back away like anyone else would do- you accepted him for who he was.

‘’Oh, Miguel...Please, we'll figure it out. But that kid you're after is probably scared and alone- just like you were, just like I was and I don't want that to swallow him.’’

‘’But every time-‘’ You pressed your pointer finger to stop his lips from moving.

"Shush. I've always trusted you, Miguel, now I don't even think there's a point in me being your higher-up. If we work together, you don't have to be afraid.’’ You caressed his face tenderly and he got lost in the softness of your words and your ever so guileless eyes.

‘’Okay?’’ Miguel turned his head to kiss at your palm as an affirmation.

‘’Okay.’’

#miguel ohara #miguel o’hara #spiderman 2099 #spiderman #miguel ohara smut #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse spoilers #miguel spiderverse #miguel o’hara smut #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara angst #spiderverse x reader #spiderman into the spiderverse

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forever-rogue · 7 months

Note

SPOOKY SEASON IS MY FAV!!! how about

maybe i’ll summon a demon so i can hang out with someone. + what I want to be for Halloween is loved

with Eddie, bc he can be so dramatic those two fit so well 🥰 maybe some best friends to lovers where you were going on a date for Halloween but finding out Eddie was going to spend the night alone you cancel and go visit him and feelings happen?

AN | We’ve got some friends to lovers and Halloween goodness! Enjoy 🥰

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

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"Guess what!" You walked into Eddie's apartment without bothering to knock, knowing it would be unlocked for you, "Edward!"

You beamed when you spotted your best friend in the kitchen, stirring what looked like a pot of macaroni. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at you, his features softening when he realized it was you. You bounced over to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek that made his entire face flush.

"Hey," he playfully swatted your hand away as you tried to get a spoonful of the pasta, "it's almost finished! Hold your horses. What's the big news then?"

"Oh!" You paused for a moment before going into the fridge and pulling out a couple of beers, "oh. I was at work this afternoon, you know as one does, and the new guy I told you about - Seth - he asked if I wanted to go to this big Halloween party with him!"

His face fell almost comically fast as your words washed over him. He tried to keep his cool as you passed him a beer and took a big swig of your own, "l-like a date?"

"Like a date," you confirmed, sighing wistfully, "he's so dreamy. I'm so excited!"

"Wow, that's…umm…great," he clinked the neck of his bottle against yours as he quickly busied himself with finishing dinner. It was your weekly movie and junk food night, but now it seemed like the last thing he wanted to do.

"Did you make any plans yet?" You grabbed some dishes to help him but he pointedly kept his gaze turned away, "I know we usually do something together…maybe you can come with us?"

"I don't want to be a third-wheel!" He snapped louder than you had expected, causing you to recoil, "I-I'm sorry. It's just that…I'm not looking to third wheel all night to you and some guy I've never met."

You gnawed on the inside of your cheek before slowly nodding. Really, you would have rather spent the night with him, but you weren't exactly in a place to be turning down dates. You rarely got asked out on them and you couldn't wait around for Eddie forever. You'd made peace with the fact that you were sure he only viewed you as a friend. And with that, you decided to put in more effort to go on dates and try to find someone. Anything that would hopefully help you to move on and get over Eddie.

If that was even possible.

"Sorry," you mumbled under your breath as you busied yourself with getting plates and utensils ready. You felt the back of your eyes start to prick with tears, blinking rapidly to make the stinging to go away, "u-umm, what are you thinking about doing for Halloween then?"

"I don't know," his voice dropped to an almost whisper as he started to plate everything up, "maybe I'll summon a demon so I can hang out with someone."

"Eddie-"

"Hey," he turned to you with a little half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. This time his voice was soft but it just sounded so…off, "its alright - seriously. I'll figure out something to do. Don't worry about it."

"Okay," your skin felt electric as his fingers brushed yours when he handed you the plate. You wanted to say something, something more but when you noticed how he was pointedly avoiding your eyes you didn't push it, "okay."

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Eddie might have told you not to worry about it. But…you worried about it. There was a nagging feeling of guilt in the pit of your stomach that you couldn't shake. And it didn't help that Eddie seems to be pulling away from you little by little. Any time you asked him about it, he pretended like it was all fine. The fact that you knew he was lying made it even worse.

It wasn't until Halloween came around that things came to a head.

You were finishing getting ready for Seth to pick you up to go to the big Halloween party. You were dressed as a pirate, cute and flirty, and ready for some fun. But…something still felt off. You knew what it was but didn't know how to go about it.

Once you finished getting ready, you grabbed the phone and dialed Eddie's number, pacing around as you waited for him to answer. Just before you were sure it would go to the answering machine, he answered.

"Hello?" He didn't sound anything like his normal self and that made your heart constrict.

"Hi Ed," your voice sounded small and his sharp inhale wasn't lost on you, "I just wanted to say hi before I left. You're going to hang out with Robin and Nancy, right?"

"Umm…no. Not anymore," he sounded tense mixed with a hint of sadness. It felt like it made your heart crack. Halloween was Eddie's favorite holiday and the idea that he was spending it alone? Absolutely unacceptable.

"What happened, Eddie?"

"They're going to a drive-in movie instead and then dinner. Basically a date," you held in your sigh, "they said I could go with them still but obviously…I really don't want to be tagging along on their date either."

"That's awful," you looked at the alarm on your nightstand and contemplated your actions. You had about twenty minutes before Seth was due to pick you up. Suddenly that sounded like the last thing you wanted to do, "listen, I could-"

"No. No. Its fine," his tone suggested that it was anything but fine, "I'll just…figure out something. Probably just stay home and order a pizza or something."

"Eddie-"

"I know you gotta go," he sounded so small and defeated. You hated it, "I'll talk to you later."

"Wait, listen, I-"

Before you could say anything else, Eddie had hung up the phone and you were left listening to the dial tone. That had just made up your mind.

You picked up the phone again and dialed Seth's number, hoping he hadn't left yet. It was like, all along, you'd secretly been hoping for this to happen. To have an excuse to cancel and go to Eddie.

Oh Eddie. It really always came back to him.

Maybe it was time to tell him.

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Eddie groaned at the sound of knocking on his door. It was loud and incessant; he'd just ordered a pizza for fucks' sake. It shouldn’t have been a trick or treater either - he'd put out a giant bowl of candy and he doubted it was empty by now.

He grumbled under his breath as he wrenched open the door, ready to yell at whoever was on the other side.

"What do you -" his breath caught in his throat when he realized it was you. Big brown eyes looked you up and down as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, "oh."

"Hi Eddie," you didn't wait for him to say or do anything else before throwing your arms around him and wrapping him in a tight hug. You could feel him relax almost immediately as he closed his eyes and sighed softly, "you're not dressed up!"

"Didn't really have a reason to," he exhaled slowly as he buried his face in your neck. The smell of your shampoo and perfume were enough to calm him, "what are you doing here? I thought -"

"I canceled on him," you shrugged it off as he pulled out of your arms, confusion maring his features, "he didn't seem phased really, just kind of went with it. I think I made the right decision."

A small, hopeful smile crossed his features as he stared at his feet. He nodded, mind reeling with possibilities, "why are you here?"

"You know why," before you let your nerves get the better of you, you reached for his hand and took it gently in yours. You could see the way his cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink as he looked at your entwined hands. You couldn't help the nervous giggle that bubbled up as he laced your fingers together, "can I come in?"

"Oh! Right," he pulled you inside and quickly shut the door before leaning against to try and slow down the wild beating of his heart. He studied your pirate costume, "you look cute."

"Thank you," you twirled around to give him a full look, "you're just missing a costume now! The night is young and we can get something together for you and then go out - we can try and go trick or treating! What do you want to be?"

"I…it's stupid. Even as a joke it sounds dumb," he shook his head and avoided your eyes, "forget it."

"I will not," you insisted softly as you reached you over and tenderly put your hand on his cheek, "tell me."

"You won't laugh?"

"I won't laugh," your whispered promise made him feel okay and he swallowed thickly.

"For Halloween….I just want to be loved," he closed his eyes, trying to blink back tears as you looked at him. When he allowed himself to take a peek at you, he saw nothing short of adoration on your face. You weren’t ridiculing him or ready to laugh or make fun of him.

“I hate to break it to you, but you’re already loved,” and just like that, it all came out and came to light. And it didn’t feel scary or hard at all…it felt so natural and so right. You anxiously rocked back and forth on your heels, “very loved. By a lot of people…but a whole lot by me.”

His eyes opened almost comically wide as he checked to make sure that you weren’t joking and weren’t going to throw a just kidding in there. When he saw that you were dead serious, he stepped closer to you, leaving only a small gap between your bodies. It was the last barrier to cross and once it was, everything would change between the two of you. You knew that it would change everything, but at the same time…you knew things really wouldn’t have been that different at all. It was just the natural progression of things - of your lives.

You knew that Eddie was leaving the last bit up to you - you almost threw yourself into his arms, hugging onto him as tightly as possible without squeezing him to death. He responded in kind, his body melding into yours as you closed your eyes and tried to remind yourself that this was actually happening. This was real.

After a few moments, he pulled back and gently took your face in his large, warm hands. You were beaming at him and if he thought he was in love with you before, it had nothing on this.

“You’re so pretty,” he brushed his thumb over your cheek, trying to soak in every detail of this moment, “beautiful. I…umm, you are very loved too. I adore you.”

“I know,” you turned your face slightly, pressing a kiss to his palm, “I adore you.”

“I love you,” he had to say it out loud - had to get it out there. Those three words that held so much weight. Words you’d known to be true for so long finally verbalized.

“I love you, Eddie,” you vowed then and there that you would remind him of that little fact each and every day, because it was true of course but also to see that expression on his face. It was beautiful.

“May I kiss you?” The fact that he was still asking was so Eddie and made your heart so happy. You’d pictured this exact scenario dozens if not hundreds of times by now, and yet this was better than you could have ever imagined.

“Yes,” you felt a wave of emotions wash over you as he leaned in, “please.”

He pressed his lips to yours, gentle and hesitant. When you didn’t recoil or tell him to stop, he kissed you a little more, a little deeper, his hands settling on your waist. You looped your arms around his neck and kissed him back, with just as much hunger and passion. It felt so right and so natural to be kissing him; you wanted to do it forever, you wanted to learn him in every possible way.

Eddie only pulled back when he was getting dizzy from kissing you; he didn’t want to stop. You made a small sound when he pressed his forehead against yours, “that was…wow.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, leaning and stealing a few kisses from him, “something like that.”

Eddie took a step back, shaking his head causing his curls to bounce as he touched his lips and cheek where your lips had blessed his skin. He almost couldn’t believe that this had happened and he needed to make sure it wasn’t some sort of dream.

“So…you wanna dress up and go out tonight? We can either find a party to crash or try to get away with trick-or-treating-”

“Nah,” he shook his head as you raised an eyebrow at him, “I wanna stay in tonight - with you.”

“Yeah?” That honestly sounded like the best idea of all. You hadn’t wanted him to feel like he had to stay in, but you were definitely excited to spend time with just him. Especially now that any remaining boundaries between the two of you had been taken away.

“Yeah,” he’d leaned in again and was so close to brushing his lips against yours…but was promptly interrupted by another knock at the door. He groaned as you quickly kissed his cheek, “it better be the damn pizza this time.”

“Oh?” you crossed your arms over your chest as you tried to give him a serious expression, “is the pizza a more welcome guest than me?”

“Of course not, sweetheart,” suddenly the nickname held so much more weight, “but I think you and pizza might be the best thing ever.”

“That I can allow,” you snorted in amusement as he answered the door and paid the delivery person, “what kind did you get?”

“A half and half…your favorite and mine,” he admitted sheepishly as you looked at him in awe, “w-what’s wrong?”

“You got both of our favorites?” your voice almost cracked as he nodded, “even though you thought I wasn’t going to be here?”

“I guess I just held onto some hope,” he tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal but to you it was everything, “w-what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason,” you took the pizza from his hand and set it on the counter, “I just…I really love you, Eddie. For so long now.”

“Funny,” he reached for you again, pulling you as close as possible, “I really love you too, and have for a very long time.”

“I definitely think you should kiss me about it,” the two of you grinned at each other like fools, shy and electric with all these new revelations, “if you want to.”

“I want to,” he was already kissing you again, soft and gentle but with a promise of more, “I really, really want to.”

“Happy Halloween Eddie.”

“Happy Halloween sweetheart,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “best Halloween ever!”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson one shot #joseph quinn #st

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the-offside-rule · 2 months

Text

Logan Sargeant (Williams) - I Did Something Bad

Requested: yes

Prompt: 16) "I would do anything for you."

literally was listening to I Did Something Bad bc of this oneshot lmao

Warnings: Y/n is low-key a bitch

"I mean, last race of the season. You and your teammate are heading into this race with the same amount of points. Do you reckon you could pull something out the bag?" Will Bixton asked Y/n before he pointed the microphone over towards her. "I'm not sure, I'm just going to go into this weekend a little more aggressive I think. At the end of the day, what matters is the team result and foe both cars to come back safely." She replied, adding that last bit simply because her PR manager was there. "You could give Logan Sargeant a word, assuming he finishes qualifying in last." Will joked. Y/n smiled to herself, before she left. No matter how far away she got from Will and that conversation, the idea lingered; What if she asked Logan to hold George up? It'd be so easy to make him do it. You see, Logan and Y/n came up the ranks together and since she was one of the only girls he saw frequently, she became the object of all of his desires.

Logan walked into the paddock, his confidence surprisingly booming....considering he finished qualifying in 19th. His eyes couldn't help but wander over to where Y/n Y/l/n (or the love of his life as he would say it) stood surrounded by her team. She gave a wave towards hin, ushering him to come over. His heart fluttered. Ever since Logan had begun racing her, he found himself inexplicably drawn to Y/n. Her talent on the track was matched only by her charm off it. But there was something about her, something elusive and alluring, that kept him captivated.

As Logan approached her, Y/n flashed him a knowing smile, her eyes twinkling with mischief. She was aware of his infatuation, and on occasion like this one, she used it to her advantage whenever she pleased. "Hey, Logan," Y/n greeted casually, her voice dripping with subtle amusement. "Got a moment?" Logan nodded. "Always for you, Y/n." Logan replied in a joking tone. "I need a favor, darling." Logan felt his mouth go dry. "Okay?" He replied, more ina questioning tone than a reply. Y/n leaned in, her breath warm against his ear as she whispered her request. "During the race, could you let me by easier and give George a harder time? You know, help me out?" She winked.

Logan's heart sank at her words. He wanted to refuse, to stand his ground and race fair and square. But the longing in his heart overruled his better judgment, and he found himself nodding in agreement. "Sure, Y/n. Anything for you," Logan murmured, trying to ignore the pang of guilt gnawing at his conscience. Y/n smiled. "Oh, you're the best!" Y/n pressed a kiss onto his cheek. "See you out there!" She said, before heading back into her garage. Logan simply stood in awe. She....she gave him a kiss?!

The memory of the kiss hung in Logan's mind. He couldn't quite believe it. Was she finally warming up to him? He had told Alex, and Alex told Lando, and Lando....told just about anyone I the paddock. Logan sat by his car on the grid, the mechanics and engineers running around ensuring that everything was ready for the race ahead. Logan watched as Y/n's Mercedes rolled past. He could just about figure a smile through the visor, before Y/n waved and Logan couldn't help but do the same. In the cockpit, Y/n grinned and shook her head at how stupidly easy this whole plan was. All it took? A bit of her charm that Logan was oh-so crazy about.

The race unfolded with breathtaking speed, the roar of engines and the screech of tires filling the air. Logan did as Y/n asked, easing off the throttle to let her pass while putting up a fierce fight against George, allowong Y/n to go on and ultimately finish the race in second. But as the checkered flag waved and the podium celebrations began, Logan's heart grew heavy with regret. He had betrayed his principles for a fleeting chance at Y/n's favor, only to be met with indifference.

Y/n stood outside the Mercedes hospitality, holding her trophy whilst the cameras took a few photos. "Y/n?" She turned when she heard the American, her smile dropping slightly. "Logan." She said through a faked smile. "How did your race go?" She asked. Logan struggled to find the words to express his anguish. "I got a penalty." He replied simply. "Oh." Logan looked at her, visibly pissed off. "Oh? I do what you ask and all you can say is oh? Why did you ask me to do that if you weren't even going to thank me?" Logan questioned, his emotions bubbling to the surface. Y/n regarded him with a cool detachment, her expression unreadable. "Y/n looked at him nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.

"It is what it is, Logan. I needed an edge in the race, and you were willing to provide it." She replied dismissively. "Are you fucking kidding me now?" Y/n scoffed. "You're acting like I owe you something." She said. "You don't, but a bit of gratitude would be much appreciated." Y/n's brows knotted in anger. "Thank you? This is your job. You're pissed off at me for asking you you to your job? To actually defend the other drivers? That is your job, I just think it's pathetic it took a girl for you to do your job somewhat well." Logan stood as he watched her return into the Mercedes hospitality, her tone sending a shiver down his spine. Her words hung in the air like a bitter truth, leaving Logan feeling hollow and used. He realized then that Y/n would always play by her own rules, leaving broken hearts in her wake.

#f1 blurb #f1 imagine #f1 oneshot #f1 oneshots #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant x you #logan sargeant x y/n #logan sargeant imagine #logan sargeant imagines #logan sargeant blurb #logan sargeant headcanon #logan sargeant fanfiction #logan sargeant fic #logan sargeant angst #logan sargeant

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margumis · 1 year

Note

For requests... how about

Megumi introduces reader to his friends and Gojo. He is making a big deal about it bc he knows how they can be and that they will probably embarrass him and make reader who is an introvert too uncomfortable.

But like in a fluffy, funny way

- simpdox (its a side blog so I have to ask in anon but tag me if/when you wrote it! Plss)

a/n: okay so I was trying to figure out what kind of setting to do for this, and I was conflicted about reader being from the Kyoto school but I just found out they're about 6 hours apart! so, reader is a regular Tokyo civilian. Ending kinda sucks in my opinion but I literally could not figure out the right way to end it.

here you go @simpdox ! <3

You were seated shot-gun next to your boyfriend of three months as he drove the two of you to a small outdoor lunch place you hadn't tried before to meet his two close friends. Truthfully you were excited, Megumi on the other hand was... worried to say the least.

Nobara and Yuuji could be overbearing, loud, annoying, overwhelming, and idiots to say the least, and you, well you are quieter, overwhelmed easily most times, and too kind to admit the latter to those overwhelming you. Megumi didn't want to ever make you feel those uncomfortable feelings so he kept putting off you meeting Yuuji, Nobara, and especially Gojo.

Ideally you could meet them each one at a time, or maybe never meet Gojo. Yet it didn't workout like that.

"You know we really don't have to go today, I could tell them you don't feel good and I can take you home"

"Meg. I am excited to meet your friends and you aren't changing my mind"

"I just want you to be comfortable and they're really loud and talk way too much, and I can barely handle it sometimes so why would I put that on y-"

"Baby, I understand where you're coming from, but I don't mind people like that, sometimes it's just nerve racking trying to make a good first impression"

"You'll be great, considering they like me, you basically already passed"

You both laughed and you changed the topic to avoid the anxiety building in your chest. You spent the short remainder of the ride mentally rehearsing every scenario and every outcome.

When you arrived it was hard to miss where the two were seated.

"FUSHIGURO WE'RE OVER HERE!!!" Yuuji yelled from ten feet away as if you two couldn't see his pink spikes from a mile away.

Nobara was the first to jump up and greet you. "Oh my god" "You're y/n" "You're so beautiful" She was immediately embracing you and taking you in. "Your jeans, they fit so well where did you get them? Are they tailored?" You were racking your brain, why didn't I think about this possibility. "Uh, I think they're thrifted, just a lucky find" you spouted out hoping you told her the truth, "I can check the brand for you?". Nobara smiled at you, "You could do me one better, and one day me and you go shopping together".

You paused mentally, she was making plans with you so soon, how could she know if you liked you already? Was she just saying things? God she seems like the kind of girl who already has a million pairs of perfect jeans. All you could do was smile and tell her that it sounded great, while your mind was ticking away at whether or not she already thought you were cool.

Yuuji who greeted Megumi first, finally turned and him and Nobara swapped greeting positions.

"You're y/n!!!"

"You're Itadori!"

"Does Fushiguro ever talk about me? No. Better question? You really like him right? He really likes you and has been talking about you for like six months. Head over heels. Puppy love, he's never talked about someone so much. I feel like a proud dad".

You blushed at Yuuji's statements, "Really he's been talking about me before we were even together?"

"Wait what? He's talked about you like he already put a ring on it since the first the first time he mentioned you"

Megumi who was still by your side seemed a little peeved at the leak of information and was the first to suggest you all sit down at the table they had gotten for you all.

You all continued talking, Nobara and Yuuji asking an array of "get to know you questions" and Megumi sat there holding your hand firmly to remind you he was there.

It truly wasn't bad. They were both incredibly kind to you, they even took an interest to ask you about what you ordered, they would've gotten to know your whole family history if it was socially acceptable.

The afternoon was filled with laughter, eating, Yuuji seeing if he could chug a glass of pink lemonade, Nobara shamelessly cheering him on, and Megumi watching in slight disgust, slight amazement. It was nice, especially when you and Megumi caught moments to have your own conversations when the other two went off on their own bickerings.

"I like your friends honey"

"They like you too, you doing okay?"

"Yeah I'm actually good"

Megumi took the brief moment of false privacy to kiss your forehead when Nobara and Yuuji yelled,

"WHOA PDA POLICE" "GET A ROOM" "THIS IS SICKENING"

They both busted out laughing at their antics and Yuuji reassured you they were only joking and that "He's so proud to watch his son fall in love".

"You know it's super rude to be on your phone while getting lunch with people"

"I'm just texting Gojo"

Megumi's feelings of relief were completely washed away, "What about"

"Oh well I sent him a picture of my food and then he got sad no one invited him to lunch so I sent him the address".

All Megumi could do was push his face into his palms and pray.

"Speak of the devil", Nobara exclaimed as a freakishly tall white haired man made his way toward your table.

You whispered to Megumi, "How the hell did he get here so fast??"

And before you knew it he was stealing a chair from another table and making room for himself at the end of the table. "Where you guys talking about me?" A sly grin adorning his features as he pushed his sunglasses down to inspect you. "I don't know you, right?"

"That's Megumi's girlfriend Gojo sensei!" Yuuji chirped.

The man looked like he was going to have a stroke right then as he processed the news, and then wiped a faux tear from his eyes mentioning something about Megumi growing up too fast as he whipped out his cellphone to take an off-guard picture of the two of you.

"Delete that please" Megumi looked defeated by the situation, and you were still confused by who the hell this guy was.

"I'm being rude aren't I? I'm Satoru Gojo, I'm these three's teacher and Megumi's amazing adoptive father"

"That's not how I'd put it"

"Oh he loves me don't let his attitude fool you! Here look at these!". Gojo then showed you an array of pictures of Megumi as a child, in all of which he looked extremely displeased with the man behind the camera. By now Megumi's face was turning red with embarrassment as he watched you giggle at every single picture of him in Gojo's arsenal.

"God Fushiguro you've always been this grouchy?", Nobara asked.

"He's my little grouchy boy that's what I like to call him"

"You've never once called me that"

"His memory must be slipping" Gojo swatted his hand in front of his face and leaned back and sighed, "Well I gotta go, I totally left work just for this"

Before you knew it he was gone and you were confused and pondering why he never even asked your name. Megumi on the other hand was paying his half of the check and preparing to get the hell out of here.

"They were nice you know"

He was still visibly a bit irritated with the Gojo situation as he started the car, but he was glad you were okay at the end of it.

"I got Nobara's number, we might go out one day I think"

He smiled at that, knowing you quickly left a lasting impression on his friends and he admired you for how easily you could do that, and recalled how easily you had the same effect on him.

#jujutsu kaisen megumi #jjk megumi #megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader #yuuji itadori #nobara kugisaki #gojo saturo #megumi fluff #megumi headcanons #megumi x reader

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n3llieelle · 1 year

Note

clothes shopping with jill as she teases reader the whole time before they have sex inside a changing room?? idk its just a prompt thats been on my mind~

WHAT???

Prompt that has been in your mind you say….. 😳

YESSSS OMG????!!?!!?

Jill would def shopping at those expensive ass stores like Victoria’s Secret and Pink choosing lingerie and the most revealing outfits for the reader to wear at home.

Btw thanks for requesting bc my inbox has been empty for a while and I was loosing hope to continue writing 😭

Bear with me bc I am so fucking tired rn and I think I left out the teasing part, so I am apologizing for my actions.

SMUT AHEAD! MINORS DNi!!

It was a sunny afternoon, as you arrived to the mall with Jill to hit up some clothing stores after a long day of work. Stopping outside Victoria’s secret you looked at all of the mannequins displayed in the windows and tried your best to find one that matched your exact figure, while trying to not look like an idiot by ogling every available piece of clothing.

You knew you would have to do this for a few hours until Jill decided what she wanted to buy, then you asked a worker if she could recommend anything to her that she could surprise her girlfriend with when they get back home. She recommended this one short little light blue dress with white laced trim, you couldn't help but think it would fit you perfectly, even though you don't wear things like these and about wearing it tonight but didn't know how Jill will react to it, so you decided to go try it on not noticing Jill was following you.

As you walked into the changing room undressing and putting the lingerie on, a voice rang out behind you. It was Jill. “My, my. is this all for me?” You froze on the spot as your mind tried to place where this was going to go. When your eyes caught sight of her leaning against the door you couldn’t do much, as she went closer to you going behind you and wrapping herself around your waist pulling you into a kiss. The only thing you were thinking was that she was way too close for comfort. Needing to tell her that she shouldn’t do this here not in public at least, but before you could pull away from her you felt two hands slip under the material of the dress and touch your ass.

Pulling you tighter into her body which sent shivers down your spine as you moaned quietly, “Mmmh.. ohhhh” Your head falling back as you kissed her deeply and pulled away gasping for air. Her hands still caressing you through your clothes. “I can’t wait to rip these off of you. I’ve been thinking of this all day, so I brought something special.” Jill whispered into your ear while her hand was covering your mouth, her hands unzipped her pants dropping them onto the floor to reveal her strap-on spring up against your plush ass. Before your brain could catch up, you felt yourself being carried to face her leveling you wtih her strap, before slowly inserting inside you.

As she began thrusting into you faster and harder, you wrapped your arms tightly around her neck kissing her desperately, “mmh— Jill— haah—“ moaning out her name between each thrust, which was kind of loud to where she has to put her shirt in your mouth. “Keep quiet for me would ya`, baby?” Jill was quick to pick up on your signals of pleasure though she never thought that the shirt couldn’t keep your voice down.

“They could still hear us you know and they can hear how much a dirty slut you are too, so quiet down.” She sounded so demanding as her grip became harsher on your hips. “And please don’t make any sound or I won’t be able to let you finish.” Jill said looking deep into your eyes as she spoke. You nodded frantically as you felt yourself tighten around her strap, the sensation making you cry out for more. “Ohhh! god yes!!” You cried out, as she kept hitting just the right spot and the pleasure you were feeling was almost impossible to contain yourself. Your nails digging into her back and you started arching with your legs shaking uncontrollably.

“Please don’t stop... Oh, please!!!” Your cries echoed loudly, the whole store could probably hesr you. pounding her way into you until you started pornographicly moaning her name “You like that? don’t you, dirty slut?” Jill teased as you grabbed her hair and yanked it back, as her thrusting became rougher. “God— Y-yes! ohhhhhhhhh~” A wave of ecstasy overtook you as you reached your climax, and Jill let your legs drop limply from her grip as hers stopped pumping. Both of you breathing heavily. You were still hard and sore, you could feel her wet heat surrounding you and you both looked at each other.

“Well, that was definitely worth the price tag, sweetheart.” Jill winked at you as she zipped her jeans and put her shirt on. You nodded slightly as you took your time straightening your own clothes trying to hide the blush on your face, “Yeah, yeah, let's go find something else that fits me and we can leave this place.” And together you left the dressing room hand in hand. As you continued looking through the clothing store you finally found yourself settled on a pair of black laced panties and mstching thigh high socks. They suited you perfectly and the lace had small buttons on the side to button them up and open, so when you put them on you stood there admiring your body in the mirror.

After you paid for the items the employee said, “Thank you so much ma’am! We hope that it brings you joy, and we wish you a good day.” You smiled as you exited the store and headed back to the car. You hopped in as Jill locked the doors before climbing in the passenger seat and starting the ignition as she backed out of the lot.

Jill placed one of her hands on your inner thigh, caressing it softly as she turned up the radio, as you leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss on her cheek as she drove home. After parking the car in the garage you both stepped out and made your way to the front door, unlocking it and walking in side by side. “So….” You said with a suggestive smile as you turned towards her with a glint in your eye.

“What do you want to do now, babe?” Jill chuckled and grabbed your butt squeezing a bit and rubbing, causing you to moan and lean in towards her as she rubbed you through your pantyhose teasing you further. She stopped and took both of your cheeks with her hands before saying, “Well I think it would be more appropriate for us to continue what we started earlier. So why don’t you take these off for me?”

She said as her hands ripped your pantyhose off…….

****************** ****************** ****************** *****

#resident evil 🚔#jill valentine #jill valentine x reader #jill valentine x fem! reader #jill valentine imagine #jill valentine x you #jill valentine smut #resident evil smut #resident evil x reader #lesbian

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compacflt · 6 months

Note

hey! i was just going through your blog, and i saw a post about ice&carole and mav&goose. i looked a bit more but i couldn't find a post about your take on mav and goose's relationship, so i wanted to ask what it was. if you have answered this, i'm sorry about asking you again. imo i think what they had was wayy deeper than friendship but complex and probably not romantic, but again, i just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

thank you! and this blog has probably been one of the best finds i have ever come across on tumblr, i'll be sad to see you go.

yeah, i was really trying to be suave and subtle and mysterious about it with this parallel

like, you should be able to figure it out for yourself.

but luckily for you i looooove beating dead horses. to a problematic degree.

the full story of my vision of mavgoose (moose?) is in the completed draft of the extras that are coming out on Saturday. about halfway through. But i want to bring it back to the internal craft-of-writing debate i brought up yesterday—my inability to summarize, or to cut superfluous sections that don’t really matter.

I’ll stick it under the cut for spoiler reasons, but i wanna show the simple first draft of this scene versus the complicated, heavier final draft. And I want to ask any of you, if you’re interested—as a reader, which is more impactful? which should i end up publishing?

the simple first draft:

then i kept turning it in my head thinking of different ways to edit it to say something slightly different, to get a little more specific, coming up with things to add, and ended up adding like five extra paragraphs. which is this:

about 1/4 of the final draft (by which i mean, this is about 1/4 of the whole final discussion scene, but the goosemav-specific content only goes on for about another graf [omitted bc spoilers]):

(so to answer your ask explicitly, i actually don’t think they were anything deeper than good friends. imo there’s no evidence that they were anything deeper than good friends, especially with maverick blowing goose/goose’s wishes off soooo many times [‘she’s lost that lovin feelin;’ volleyball; refusing to do the responsible thing at least twice even after goose tells him it puts his & his family’s livelihoods at risk…bro all he does is blow off goose]. see me bitching in the tags for more on this)

obviously in my head the complicated in-depth version ⬆️ is the True version, the version of events that really Happened. i think the writing is in some spots much more compelling. But it just doesn’t make for a particularly good reading experience when it’s surrounded by like 3/4 pages of other discussion of history! sometimes too much of (what i think is) a good thing turns that good thing bad! & this is a major keystone dynamic of my whole series so i just want to get it right, for my own peace of mind. I guess im asking you to be the harsh editor i wish i had sometimes, if ur interested in doing so—this is genuinely a major major problem i have with my writing, i can’t ever just leave well enough alone 😭 please let me know if simpler is better/less is more in this case! do i publish the short vague “the reader fills in the blanks” version or the long boring “here’s EXACTLY how i see it” version?

#crowd sourcing beta readers. let me know.#also.#how many times do i have to say maverick is neither a good person nor a good friend #and the writers of TGM hugely whitewashed and dulled down the original sharpness and thoughtlessness of his character #for the sake of post-50s tom cruise mary-sueifying him #before it sticks?#if it helps you can write out a list of his actions in the original movie.#for instance: > blows off goose to be late to dinner with Charlie anyway #> follows her into the women’s restroom > continues a pattern of dangerous behavior even after #Goose his supposed best friend tells him multiple times it is threatening their jobs #the truck master scene… the locker room scene… the ‘can’t afford to blow this scene’#and then he does it a FOURTH TIME AND KILLS GOOSE HELLO!!!!!#so much for being a good friend like c’mon!!!#if he REALLY respected goose he would have SHOWN HIS RESPECT FOR GOOSE!!!#i am leaving this blog so out come the hot takes!#movies are also woobifying tom cruise lately! how’s that for a hot take #i genuinely felt insulted by TGM’s sexless passionless soft bokeh-light KIND OF half-sex with Penny. that was insulting.#what happened to the savage bitter kid in 1986 top gun? why is he so soft and toothless?#the only time we see him is in the ‘it’s not the plane it’s the pilot’ ‘EXACTLY’ exchange. THATS maverick.#sorry you know me. TGM is not my favorite. i am extremely cynical about it.#i love the IP but the writing choices in the 2nd movie wrt mav especially make me…. 😵‍💫😵‍💫#pete maverick mitchell #nick goose bradshaw #mavgoose #you can ignore me bitching but pls don’t ignore my begging for secondary opinions here

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thebookofeibon · 2 months

Text

a sweeter alternative

Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6868 Fandom: Ensemble Stars Ships: ReiKao Relevant "tags": blood time. uh sex mentions and allusions i don't write it though i'm not at that comfort level yet.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.” “Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei. “He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.”

i'll add squidgeworld link when i post to there

for now u can read under the cut!

i suppose i can start putting my notes here in the mean time. uhhh this one's been in the works since october, just chipping away at it here and there. idr what the inspo was i think i just wanted to address the vampire thing.

his vampirism works how i want it to work bc it's a disability and i am also disabled and that's that. idc that vampirism isn't real

this is in my little series i had on ao3 where they live together in an apartment and i don't know the timeline for realsies i'm making shit up. this is actually the first one in the series to not have a pinocchioP title and it's bc. i couldn't find one. what can i say he doesn't have any vampire songs. the vocaloid vampire song also didn't fit but it was the working title of this.

i'll also make a page for this series on this blog since. gestures to no longer using ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Rei-kun.”

“Mmm.”

“Don’t ‘mmm’ me, you heard exactly what I just said.”

Rei doesn’t answer, entirely pissing Kaoru off. “You have had two large containers of tomato juice this week and you’re still falling asleep in random places. It’s not working the way it used to.” Rei’s grip on his pillow grows tighter as he really pushes the limits his face can go into it. “It’s 8pm, and I’ve been trying to wake you up for almost two hours.” He walked over to the bed to take the pillow, only to find Rei’s resistance to be much stronger than it should be. “This. Has been happening. For two months!!!” He tugged at the pillow with all of his might, though he really couldn’t get anywhere with it. “You need blood!” A final tug that still resulted in nothing causes Kaoru to let go, huffing as he caught his breath. “I don’t pretend to know your condition, but I fear that staying strictly with tomato juice isn’t going to work anymore!”

Rei stayed with his head buried in the pillow, only letting out a groan in response.

“You’re acting like a child.”

Rei mumbled a response into the pillow, completely inaudible.

“I can’t hear you.” A beat. Two. “You are impossible.” He huffed, walking with a little too much force out of the room.

Only when he was sure Kaoru was out of sight did Rei lift his head to look out into the living room. He frowned, eyebrows scrunched together in…it’s not anger, it’s not disappointment, dismay?

He didn’t really want to accept that Kaoru was right. Rei has known for a few months now that something was wrong with his juice intake, but he’d hoped that it wasn’t obvious, and it hasn’t really been to the kids. But Kaoru? Of course he’d figure out, it was dumb to even entertain the idea that the man he lives with and sleeps next to wouldn’t notice something was wrong. He laid his head sideways on the pillow, still looking out into the hallway. He was still tired.

He even tried changing brands, thinking maybe his default brand was the problem, but after trying all the ones available on the market, something else that Kaoru for sure would’ve noticed, he also began to come to the same conclusion.

This vampire does need blood to survive.

He began questioning family members after the first month, especially those he knew took alternatives for blood. But he didn’t receive answers he liked.

“Yeah, it stopped being viable after I turned 25, like its good when I’m in a pinch but I don’t rely on it anymore”

“I stopped relying solely on tomato juice when puberty hit, it’s still my primary source but I do need actual blood every other month to be at top shape.”

“There’s no alternative that’ll provide you accurately with the amount of iron our bodies need. As an idol, I’m surprised you’ve made it this long before realizing the faults in your juice alternative.”

Rei’s brought out of his head by the sound of a loud “clink” on the bedside table and he looks up to spot Kaoru, placing a full glass of tomato juice on the bedside table.

“Decided to show your face after all?” Kaoru teased, ruffling Rei’s bed head.

“You just said the juice isn’t working.” Rei grumbled, eyeing the damned glass. He hates this brand, he’s learned. Too sugary for his tastes.

“Well, you have a whole thing still and you’re fighting this theory so it's the best I can do.” He shrugged and walked out again.

Rei watched him with a scowl. “Come back here.”

Kaoru turned his head back pensively. “Hmmm? Does his wicked highness finally see fit to have my offering?” He turned around with a grin and a bow.

“What’s wrong with me just wanting to have you near?” He didn’t let up on his scowl. “Senior year you would be appalled by this behavior.”

“Hmmm? Why are you so caught up with how senior year me would feel? This is nothing! What senior year me would be devastated by is the amount of time we spend making out. Or how much sex we’ve had.” Kaoru smiled as he walked back into the bedroom. “Seriously Rei-kun! My one time of being pissed off at you for biting me has been waaaaay overshadowed by how many times you have given me head in the last, what? Four years? Since that whole ordeal.”

Rei buried his face again by the end of Kaoru’s ramble, burning red ears all that’s visible of his immodesty. He was right, technically speaking. High school Kaoru is at this point a different person than his current partner, that Kaoru would faint if he even knew they lived together.

“Honestly, Rei-kun?” Kaoru was next to his ear suddenly, causing Rei to jump and look over to catch the smug grin spreading across his tan skin. “I think it’d be suuuper hot if you took my blood during sex.”

“Gross, did talking about my mouth get you horny?” Rei pushed Kaoru’s face away and reburied his own.

“Hmmm? You act like you’ve never thought about it~.” He can hear the grin he still has. Hands grasp at his shoulders and begin to rub. “Like you don’t linger when giving me hickeys, or when you can’t help yourself and still bite slightly too hard.” He pressed harder into the knot Rei had there, the vampire letting out a moan.

“You almost sound like you want me to feed on you for your pleasure more than my well being.” He grumbled into his pillow.

“I can bring up non-sexual examples too~” Another tight push against Rei’s shoulder has the vampire letting out a small whimper. “Whenever we cuddle, you always nuzzle into my neck at least once. In fact, it’s more rare that you don’t immediately bury your face into my neck. I’m always thinking, wow, I feel super vulnerable with how close his mouth is to my neck!”

Rei whined into his pillow, half in embarrassment, half in pleasure from the massage. He turned his head so he wasn’t talking into it anymore. “Really? Always?”

Kaoru laughed. “So you don’t even do it on purpose?”

“No!”

“When I wear my turtlenecks, sometimes I catch you staring at my neck when I move in a way that exposes more skin.”

“Kaoru-kun, this is embarrassing me. I’m going to cry. Do you want me to cry?” He pouted, holding back a whine when Kaoru removed his hands from him. “Why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?”

“Not drink my blood.” The pillow Rei had been attached to this whole time quickly left his hands and collided with Kaoru’s face.

-----------------------------

It was a bad day from the minute Rei woke up, but they had an important media interview today so he really pushed himself to get out of bed and face the day.

Honestly? It’s been a bad week for the vampire. With no real reason for his energy to be completely depleted, he understood what it meant. He really didn’t want to admit it though, he really didn’t want to have to rely on blood.

“Hey, Rei-kun.” Kaoru nudged at him on the couch, gaining only a groan from the vampire. “I know you’re tired, let’s try and get some food in you before we have to go.” Rei opened his eyes at that, already concerned.

“What time is it?”

“Really? It’s only been 20 minutes since you woke up.”

“…Really?” He almost wanted to cry at that, it’s felt like an hour.

Kaoru frowned at him. “Seriously…I know it’s an off day for you but even that’s a little concerning. Come on, let’s go eat.”

They stopped at a diner nearby that Kaoru likes, ordering something small each with some coffee. Coffee doesn’t usually work on Rei unless he’s really lucky, but it’s the thought that counts here.

“Oi-hey! No falling asleep.” Kaoru tapped on Rei’s plate with his fork to make noise, startling Rei from what he supposed was dozing. “Finish eating, maybe that’ll keep you awake.”

He stared down at his half-eaten omelette with a frown, picking up his fork again. Every little bit helps.

“We’re here, wake up.” Kaoru nudges Rei awake again. The cab had come to a stop and Kaoru was in the middle of paying her. Rei seemed to be only capable of frowning today, mainly at himself. Kaoru glanced to him, offering a smile as he started to push Rei out the door.

“This is the fourth time in the last two hours he’s fallen asleep.” Kaoru sighed. “I know I shouldn’t complain, it’s out of his control, but it’s really frustrating today.” Rei blinked his eyes open, watching Kaoru and Koga talk in the waiting room outside of the recording studio.

“Maybe once he gets talking he’ll stay awake.” Adonis shrugged beside Rei on the couch. “Oh, good morning Sakuma-san.” He smiled at him, and Rei couldn’t help but return the smile.

Kaoru sighed again, much more audibly than before. He dug into his bag and pulled out a juicebox, tossing it to Rei. “Please, this is just an hour and a half, Rei-kun.”

Rei fumbled to catch the juicebox, but he did nonetheless, and he carefully detached the straw and stuck it into the top. “I’m sorry, you know I’m not usually this bad…” He sipped slowly on the box.

“The weather’s kinda whack right now, more than usual, s’probably what’s affecting you.” Koga crossed his arms. “Plus the thing you were complainin’ about the other day with your juice.” He gestured at him with his chin.

“Yeah…” Rei deflated a bit into the couch, feeling everyone’s eyes on him.

“What’s wrong with your juice?” Adonis tilted his head.

“You know how he uses it in place of blood?” Kaoru kept his eyes on Rei, catching Adonis’s nod in the corner on his eye. “Well the past couple of months, it hasn’t been doing the job.”

“Huh? What do you mean past couple of months?” Koga eyed Rei.

“He’s been drinking twice the amount he usually does, he’s been drinking different brands, and he’s still slow as if he’s low on energy.” Rei tried to shrink down as much as he could in the couch, trying to avoid eye contact. It’s embarrassing. Kaoru tutted. “You are so annoying sometimes.”

“Then…are you saying he needs blood?” Adonis tilted his head.

“Exactly. And he’s refusing to take any.”

Koga clicked his tongue, then finally brought his eyes off Rei to look at Kaoru again. “We can’t really force him.”

Kaoru kept his eyes on his partner however. “…No, I suppose not.”

“UNDEAD?” A woman’s voice called out, breaking the tension. “We’re ready to get you guys set up.”

-----------------------------

Rare, these days, for Rei to turn down showering with Kaoru when they got home, and with how his health has been, he really should’ve taken the opportunity to share the shower with him. But he wanted time alone to think.

He’d really been trying to ignore it, not even out of pride really. He’s grown accustomed to admitting when he needs help. He has friends willing to accommodate his needs and he couldn’t be more grateful for them because of it.

It’s not pride, it’s…arrogance. That’s it. The refusal to admit that he’s wrong. It’s been several months now, at this point the tomato juice hasn’t been helping longer than it has this year. It’s at least worth a try now to take blood, no matter how little he actually wants to do it.

It partly has to do with Kaoru’s refusal that Easter, the fear of hurting him always at the back of his mind, but a lot does have to do with how he just doesn’t want to drink blood. He’s trying so hard to be human, he’s doing everything he can to be human. Drinking blood is not a human activity!

And he hates the taste of it!!! That’s why he settled with tomato juice, because it actually tastes good!!! Why should he have to do something he can’t even-

“Your turn.” Kaoru walked past Rei brooding on the couch and ruffled his hair, drawing him out of his thoughts for the moment. He looked up, lifting his head out of his hands, just when had he slouched over? He probably looked just as crazed as he felt. “Don’t think too hard in there, you might overheat.” Kaoru smiled.

Rei huffed a laugh, relaxing his shoulders a bit. “Yeah, of course.” He stood up with a few joint cracks and began to walk up the bathroom-

“I’m serious though. Try to sit while you’re in there, and leave the door unlocked, okay?” Kaoru dropped his smile. Ah, alright.

“Mm, of course.”

The shower was nice, he supposed, though it would be quicker to stand, sitting at least gave him time to think again. He really could just ask. It doesn’t need to have some special occasion. Though it’s kind of embarrassing at this point to admit defeat, after being urged to do this from family and friends for so long now. And again, sometimes just the smell of blood was enough to upset his stomach, thinking about the smell is even-

A trail of blood running down the drain with the water appears and it startles him, jumping back a bit to try and locate where the bleeding is coming from, knocking some bottles down in the process. He lifted a hand to his face and sighed as he drew it back. A nosebleed. Okay, sure, this might as well happen.

The bathroom door opened a crack. “You alright?” Right. The noise.

“Yea-” A cough, “Yeah I’m fine- Nosebleed.” He breathed in, head going light. “Could you come turn the water off, dear.” He lifted a hand to his head. A vampire who can’t even look at blood, how inane.

Kaoru opened the door further and walked in, opening the curtain on the side closer to the valve to shut it off. “Are you alright?” He asked again.

“A bit lightheaded is all, mind getting me some tissues?” He did his best to keep his head tilted downward until Kaoru pulled the curtain back, sitting on his knees, with a few tissues in hand. Instead of letting Rei take them from him, he instead reached in himself to block the nostril the blood was coming from.

“I told you not to think too hard.” Kaoru laughed, using his other hand to cradle Rei’s head. Rei leaned into his touch instinctively, doing his best to keep his head lowered. “It’s hot in here too, were you trying to instigate a nosebleed?”

Rei glowered at him, taking a deep breath in. It was a joke, he understands, and Kaoru simply chuckled at the stare. He pulled the tissue away momentarily to assess the bleed, then quickly repositioned it to a cleaner area to hold against the nostril again. Rei sighed, his health was never going to be easy, was it?

-----------------------------

Rei lie on his back on the bed, shirtless as he didn’t want to risk staining any shirts, fingers interlocked over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling, wad of tissue paper plugged up his nose to get the remaining blood taken care of. Kaoru entered the room after a few more minutes, bringing with him some tart slices that he had bought earlier that day.

“I got one for both of us~! Recovering from a shower nosebleed seems fitting time to eat it!” He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Usually eating in bed is against our rules but what’s the harm in bending this once?” He set the plate down on his lap and patted the spot next to him. “Come, sit.”

“…I…” Rei squinted with tightly knit brows, not looking away from the ceiling.

“Hm?” Kaoru was already picking up his slice to eat.

Rei stayed silent a moment before finally shifting his gaze to Kaoru. It softened when he saw how content he was with the bite he’d taken, a small smile stretching across the blond’s lips that he probably didn’t even notice he had. He opened his mouth again, then closed it when nothing came out and turned back to the ceiling.

Kaoru’s head tilted. “Babe, I’m not a mind reader, and if I was, your’s would be impossible anyways.”

“…” Rei turned his head completely away, embarrassed just a little. “I need blood.” It was quiet, small, not meant to leave this one piece of furniture. He refused to look in Kaoru’s direction. He could already feel his gaze on him and he wasn’t really keen on the teasing that would follow.

But there wasn’t a verbal response, he heard some movement, likely Kaoru setting the plate down, then felt the bed move as slowly his light was obstructed. Kaoru’s hand landed next to his head and he frowned, still refusing to look up at him.

“You open yourself up to me and yet refuse to look at me? You wound me, Rei-kun.” Kaoru sighed. Using the hand on the opposite side of Rei’s face, he lifted Rei’s chin to face him upwards, smiling a little at the blush covering his cheeks, then frowned when Rei still focused his gaze on the wall. With a huff, he pulled his waist up further onto the bed and placed his legs on either side of the vampire, sitting down onto his stomach. “What’s a guy got to do to get even a glance, huh?” He scowled as he watched Rei’s gaze shift not towards him, but upwards to further avoid looking at Kaoru.

Rei’s hands fidget on his chest, unlocking themselves to tap idly without thought. Kaoru clicked his tongue watching them, evidence that Rei isn’t entirely spaced out from the moment. In one swift motion, they’re taken from their place on his chest and pinned above his head, taking Rei off guard enough to finally look back at him with wide eyes.

“There we go~ All I had to do was surprise you!” Kaoru grinned, releasing his grip on Rei’s hands to lean in and place a kiss on his lips. “I don’t like being ignored, you know~” To punctuate, he pulled the tissue out of Rei’s nose, only taking a moment to examine how fresh the blood on it was before tossing it to the floor.

Rei watched the tissue fall to the floor with a frown. “Gross.” He couldn’t help but laugh, though, when Kaoru tried to go in for another kiss. “Hold on, hold on.” He placed a hand in front of his face to catch Kaoru’s, laughing when Kaoru still tried to push through. “Down boy!” He jokingly raised his voice.

Kaoru grinned. “Down?” The glint in his eye was mischievous. Rei sighed as Kaoru took the hand placed against his face and laced his fingers with it. “Easy command~” He followed through and started to kiss down Rei’s neck, hovering when Rei’s laugh bubbled out.

“You’re going to agitate my nosebleed, then I’m going to get blood all over the bed.” He squeezed Kaoru’s hand, using his other to slide into his blond hair.

“Oh you’ll be fine.” Kaoru hummed as he trailed further down. “We have tissues in here if it comes back.” He paused at Rei’s collarbone, glancing up at him. “It doesn’t help when you’re encouraging me, either.” He smiled, free hand aimlessly wandering Rei’s chest. Rei grinned down at him, then gripped his hair and pulled back with enough force to pull him away. “Ah!” Kaoru laughed. “Hey!”

“As much as I’d like to continue,” Rei let go of his hair to dramatically drape his arm across his forehead and closed his eyes, “I am oh-so tired from losing blood-”

“Then take some of mine.” Kaoru narrowed his eyes playfully.

Rei opened his eyes to peek down to him again. “Aside from the tart, have you eaten recently?”

Kaoru blinked, then looked up in thought. “Uhh…”

Rei clicked his tongue with a smile. “No blood drinking tonight then, dear.” He lifted his arm off his head to cup Kaoru’s cheek. “Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Come on, we’re in bed, it’s not like I’m going to go on stage right after.” Kaoru pouted.

“No, you’re still wanting to fool around though, which is still quite a rigorous activity, don’t you think?” Rei’s thumb brushed against Kaoru’s lips, which only prompted the blond to open them and take the digit into his mouth. “Kaoru-kun.”

“We can always stop if it gets too much~?” Kaoru leaned down again to be just in front of Rei’s lips. “I can be the one resting?” He lowered his voice as he lowered himself to brush lips.

Rei ran over the options in his head, subconsciously wetting his lips. Their hands let go of each other, Rei’s landing on Kaoru’s thigh and Kaoru’s coming to Rei’s face to tip him far enough to close the distance.

He still wasn’t keen on the idea of drinking blood, thinking about the taste is almost enough to make him pull away from the warmth of Kaoru’s mouth in disgust. He could feasibly take only a little bit, work himself up slowly to drinking more over time. He slowly pushed himself to sit up, Kaoru taking the hint to help ease the transfer of positions. They parted from each other temporarily to allow Kaoru to lie down and Rei to climb on top of him, then came back to each other as quickly as possible. Rei shuffled his hips further down on Kaoru so he could trail down his neck with ease.

Were they not idols, in some other universe, Rei would love to mark Kaoru up as much as possible, he hesitated in one spot on his neck and debated if it was too high up to cover with a turtleneck before deciding it was. He moved lower before taking the skin in his lips. Not biting, not here. A sigh leaves Kaoru’s mouth as Rei’s hand travels up underneath his shirt. Makeup would definitely need to be used to cover this one, but it won’t be as noticeable.

“A bit high up, don’t you think?” Kaoru carded his fingers through Rei’s hair.

Rei took a moment longer before pulling away, using both hands now to pull Kaoru’s shirt up, which Kaoru obliged and lifted his arms to remove the article. “I just wanted to do that one.” Once the shirt was removed, he moved back to where he was and traveled further, pausing once again in a spot, but this time to try and gauge where to bite. “I’ll only take a little…I’m not exactly…fond of the taste.” He hovered around a general area around Kaoru’s neck and collarbone.

“Alright, fair enough.”

“Don’t be offended if I don’t like it.”

“You’re still human, I think it’s rather normal to dislike the taste of blood.”

The reassurance was nice, it was almost the push that Rei needed to dive in. He checked the pulse in one spot and took a deep breath in before pressing his lips to the spot, then lightly placed his fangs against it. It’s not like he hasn’t bitten Kaoru before, or drawn his blood from a bite either, but those were different. Those were just bites to bite, this is fairly common practice in any couple. This bite was different, this is…

Kaoru’s fingers slowly brushed through Rei’s hair and it almost made Rei laugh. Why is the guy getting blood taken from him in such a monstrous way more relaxed about this than the one taking the blood?

No, he can’t be anxious about this when he’s already poised to strike. With another deep breath taken through his nose, he bites down, incisors piercing through Kaoru’s unblemished skin. Kaoru lets out a grunt at the bite, fingers gripping somewhat tighter into Rei’s hair. It takes everything in Rei to stay biting and let the blood into his mouth.

It wasn’t as bad as he had been dreading, not necessarily good either, but he isn’t immediately repelled by the taste and texture. It tasted like blood, that’s for sure, but perhaps it’s the thought that it’s Kaoru’s blood that has Rei thinking that it has something unique to it, a sweetness that Koga and Adonis’s blood didn’t have. The indifference didn't last for much longer, however, as the texture on his tongue began to become too much for him to handle and he released Kaoru, licking the puncture wounds as he had been taught in the past.

He pulled away completely to look Kaoru in the eyes once he was sure the blood wouldn’t flow too much more. Kaoru looked at him with a smile, eyes only slightly distant. “Are you alright?” Rei broke the silence first.

“I am, I think if you had gone any longer I would’ve had a problem, though.” He chuckled. “Are you alright?”

Rei nodded, returning Kaoru’s smile. “I am…I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped sooner, I spaced out.”

“I thought you didn’t like the taste?” Kaoru clasped his hands together to rest on his chest, mirroring Rei’s earlier pose.

“I…didn’t really. But it tasted different than I thought it would.” Rei huffed, averting his gaze. “I was distracted by that thought for a moment longer than I should’ve been.”

Kaoru chuckled. “Perhaps the necessity of it is what changed your thought process?”

“Perhaps.”

“Rei-kun.” He unlaced his fingers and slid his hands to Rei’s thighs, Rei’s gaze coming back to him. Kaoru’s smile widened, eyes squinting. “Ready to resume where we were?”

Rei blinked, then grinned back at him. “Wasting no time at all, are you?”

Kaoru’s hands traveled up Rei’s thighs to his hips. “What can I say? You’re like, glowing right now, and it’s kinda hot.”

Rei chuckled, then leaned back down to kiss him.

Kaoru doesn’t tell him that he still has blood on his chin, and when Rei’s nosebleed does come back a few minutes later, it covers up the prior blood when it leaks onto Kaoru’s face mid-kiss, making Kaoru laugh. They absolutely have to clean the sheets after this.

-----------------------------

It’s immediately apparent the next day at practice that Rei was feeling better. He was more energetic, more aware, more talkative. Koga and Adonis didn’t comment on it until Kaoru entered the practice room late after leaving his badly scheduled photoshoot and changed to a t-shirt, revealing just enough of his neck that the bite marks are visible.

Koga almost growled at him. “Why do you need to wear a collar that loose?”

He grinned. “It’s easier to practice choreography in loose clothing, isn’t it? Besides, don’t I usually wear shirts like this to practice?” He started his warm up stretches, eyeing Koga.

“So you let Sakuma-san take your blood?” Adonis chimed in to try to break up the tension.

“Mhm~ Though it’s more like he let himself take my blood.” He switched to a new stretch as he talked.

“That’s good.” Adonis smiled and looked over to Rei. “You seem a lot better.”

Rei returned the smile and began to start talking when Koga cut him off.

“Should Hakaze-san even be at practice today then?” He said it almost accusatory, pointing with his thumb over to him.

“He didn’t take a lot.”

“Mm, as Kaoru-kun says, I only took a small amount to ease myself into drinking blood. As you know, I don’t like the taste.” Rei nodded. “But yes, even that small amount did make me feel much better than I have in a while.”

“What made you decide to do it finally?” Adonis had shifted onto the floor to help Kaoru with his last stretches.

Rei hummed, closing his eyes in thought. “I am tired of feeling so weak. Kaoru-kun had me sit in the shower last night because he was worried I’d faint standing up and hurt myself. Then when I was in there, I got a nosebleed that usually wouldn’t be a problem, but since I’ve been this way, it nearly knocked me out.” He opened his eyes. “I need to do what is best for my body, I suppose.”

Adonis nodded. “I understand, I’m glad you feel better then, even if it requires doing something you don’t like. It’s like taking a medication with a bad taste.”

“Exactly, Adonis-kun.” Rei smiled.

Kaoru stood up with one last stretch. “And with Rei-kun feeling better, we should get on our practice, hm?”

“Agh, yeah we need to catch you up.” Koga groaned. “Alright. We’re moving on then.”

-----------------------------

As spring began rolling in, it became harder for Kaoru to cover up the bite marks on his neck, and they weren’t exactly keen on flaunting their relationship so publicly since they’re idols, so problem solving began. Because of Rei’s vampirism, he was able wean himself off of taking from Kaoru as often as he was—which was only every other week, changing it to every three weeks—and was able to play off his new fatigue as a sun problem, which wasn’t entirely a lie either. Supplementing it with tomato juice offered some extra relief, even if it wasn’t as good as blood.

Thankfully, there are other places to get the best blood flow that also weren’t dangerous for Kaoru. In a pinch, Rei could go for the inner elbow as if he was a doctor, though it’s not easy to bite there. If he’s well aware of what clothing Kaoru will be wearing for the next week and a half, Rei can go for practically any spot that’s likely to be mostly covered.

But the best area that is a catch all for privacy and decency, they found, was the thigh, which unless for some reason Kaoru wanted to wear more revealing swimwear, was completely hidden. Unfortunately, this required proper planning ahead, as it wasn’t something they could do last minute in a public place by sneaking away for a few moments.

“I suppose it was only a matter of time before we had to start planning our sex lives out.” Kaoru laughed as Rei dragged him to the bedroom.

Rei snorted in response. “It doesn’t have to end with sex every time, dear. We watched a movie after the last time.” He lightly pushed Kaoru to sit on the bed. “Besides, we’re not completely scheduling that out, this would be an outlier.” He lowered himself to his knees and scooted towards Kaoru’s legs.

“I suppose you’re right.” Kaoru grinned down as Rei unbuttons his pants. Rei looked up at him as he slid the jeans down. “You’re so pretty.”

Rei hummed, slipping his fingers into Kaoru’s waistband. “I’m beginning to think all this is just a means for you to get off instead of a means of me getting energy.” He slid his underwear down, revealing both thighs, one of which was still very bruised from the last feed. He heard Kaoru laugh above him.

With his own teasing remark and the bruised leg in sight, Rei hesitated as he really took in the severity of the situation again. He rested his hands on the inside of Kaoru’s thighs as he sat back on the balls of his feet with a frown. A minute passed and then there’s a hand on his chin, tilting his head to eye level. He looked past Kaoru, unable to meet his eyes all of a sudden.

“This is for you, babe.” Kaoru moved his head to try and catch Rei’s gaze. “I’m playing it up a bit, I’m sorry if it came out serious.” He smiled.

Rei still avoided looking him in the eye, staring at his forehead instead, then looked back down to his bruised leg. “Perhaps we should bump the frequency down to once a month…” He mumbled. “Or drop it entirely for the summer…”

Kaoru frowned. “It’s your life, if that’s what you want to do, we can. I’m just concerned about your energy levels if we were to drop this entirely, you’ve been much more active since we started doing this.”

He couldn’t fight the claim, this is the most awake he’s been since before the war, it’s kind of nice, all things considered. The bruises are turning green as they get closer to healing. “I don’t know.” It was hard for him to admit, he’s so accustomed to having to know everything.

Kaoru watched him for a moment, then sighed, sitting up. “Come here.” He held his arms open. “Let’s rest today, then. We have no other responsibilities until tomorrow afternoon.” Rei stood up, wrapped his arms around Kaoru, and immediately shifted all of his weight on him, causing them both to fall back on the bed. “Whoa!” He laughed, patting Rei’s back. “Hold on hold on my pants are still down-“

“Just kick them off.” Rei mumbled into the crook of Kaoru’s neck.

“Not when you still have pants on! The sensory problems I’ll have are chilling to think of!”

“Then take mine off.”

Kaoru laughed. “Fine!”

-----------------------------

As the weather cooled down again, Rei permitted himself to go back to two feedings a month, as Kaoru had begun to wear higher collars again. There was something about feeding from his neck that Rei didn’t have problems with like he had with the legs. Perhaps it was the cliche of it, or the intimacy, or the way it looks when he’s done.

It was frustrating to him how much he clearly needed the blood, life could never be simple for him. He pulled away from Kaoru with hesitation, watching the blood trickle down his collarbone for a moment. Kaoru’s hand in his hair ran through his curls lightly. It was the intimacy, he decided, that drew him more to the neck than anywhere else.

“Still find blood gross?” Kaoru whispered, not so much for privacy as they sat alone in the meeting room, waiting for their juniors, but more so from the lack of energy after having given it to Rei.

Rei licked at the wound, peppering light kisses around it. “A bit.” He murmured back.

“You’re not fooling me, you know. Perhaps you just like my blood~ I’m your exception now~.” With his other arm available now, he pat Rei’s back.

Rei chuckled and sat back, looking down at Kaoru’s face. “I didn’t take too much, did I?” He brushed some of Kaoru’s hair out of his face.

“I didn’t eat necessarily well today is all, no worries.” He let his arms fall to Rei’s thighs.

Rei idly fixed Kaoru’s collar to cover the bite, mainly to make sure it’s coverable. “And you let me drink from you? Bad Kaoru-kun.”

Kaoru opened his mouth to speak when the meeting room door opened, Rei quickly threw himself down next to Kaoru on the off chance it wasn't Koga and Adonis coming in. Koga paused at the door at the sound of Rei hitting the couch quite heavily.

“Should I be concerned?” He eyed them, watching Rei sigh.

“No, I was just being safe.” Rei smiled.

“You have blood on your chin, it wouldn’t have worked.” Koga sighed as he walked in, followed by Adonis, whose eyes widened at the sight. Rei bristled and lifted his sleeve to wipe at it, lightly slapping Kaoru’s arm.

“I wanted to see how far into the meeting we’d get before you noticed.” Kaoru grinned. “Thought it’d be funny.”

Adonis sat down across from them. “I fear it wouldn’t have lasted very long.”

Koga closed the door before sitting beside Adonis. “You two are disgusting.”

“You say that yet you haven’t complained about Rei not being active recently, so you have to pick~” Kaoru shot him a very cheeky grin.

“What is this, a game? I have 0 control over you freaks.” Koga scoffed. “You know, when you stopped flirting with girls I was glad because it made you less annoying, then you immediately began flirting with Sakuma-san-“ He squinted. “And you just dropped the honorific! Shameless!”

Kaoru cackled at his response, throwing his head back as his chest shook for a moment.

“Oh my, you did drop the honorific.” Rei smiled, a hand coming up to his face to try and hide his smile.

“Both of you! Disgusting!”

Adonis smiled, letting out a small chuckle before speaking. “As fun as this interaction is, we do need to discuss funding.”

Rei beamed. “Yes yes.” He clapped his hands twice. “Serious mode everyone!”

-----------------------------

Adonis and Kaoru left the booth to go to the bathroom while they waited for their food to arrive, leaving Koga and Rei sitting across from each other. Rei hummed a song he had been fine-tuning for the last week while watching the direction of the bathroom. He faded out his humming as he glanced to Koga, feeling the other’s gaze piercing through him. “What’s on your mind, Koga-kun?”

Koga bristled for a second before sighing softly. “Are you happy? With drinking blood?” He frowned. crossing his arms.

Rei blinked, turning so he could look properly at his friend. “What do you mean?”

He slanted his lips as he thought of an answer. “You hate blood. Is it worth the energy?”

Rei thought for a moment, humming softly as he did. “I wonder the same thing, sometimes.” Is what he comes up with. “It’s different, having all this energy again.”

Koga huffed. “I don’t really think that answers the question.”

Rei closed his eyes, picturing the image of blood running down Kaoru’s neck. A year ago it would’ve made him queasy to think about drinking it, but now he felt indifferent towards it. “I guess I just don’t have an answer. It’s complicated.”

Koga was quiet, glancing to the bathroom’s direction again. “If the two of you weren’t dating, would you still do it?”

That was something that hadn’t really occurred to him. Would he? He can’t even imagine another reality where he was in this situation and he wasn’t in a loving relationship with Kaoru. He thought then about the possibility of it being Keito, or Wataru, maybe even Shu or Kanata. In each scenario, he could see it happening so long as they loved each other. “Hm…” But then again, would Keito be willing? The other oddballs would be different for sure, each one of them would have a different relationship to the act of blood drinking that just aren’t the same. “No. I think I’m only okay with it because of our relationship.”

Koga hummed. “Okay.”

“Any other questions?” Rei watched him as Koga tapped his fingers against his opposite arm. “You’re still curious, I can tell.”

“…Hakaze-san is fine with it?”

Rei laughed. “He was begging me to drink his blood, actually.”

Koga’s lips twitched almost into a smile before he caught himself. “Okay. That’s all I wanted to know.”

Rei opened his mouth to respond, only to close it as Adonis sat back down next to Koga and Kaoru next to him.

“Still no food?” Kaoru sighed. “I’m sooo hungry.”

“You went to piss, there’s no way the food would’ve come out in such a short amount of time.” Koga barked, uncrossing his arms.

“A man can hope! You’re hungry too, right, Adonis-kun?” Kaoru looked to Adonis pleadingly.

Adonis blinked, then raised his hands in defiance. “I am, but he’s right, we weren’t gone long enough.”

Rei smiled, watching the three of them bicker. It was strange to think about how distant the four of them were during school, he couldn’t imagine a world where they went their separate ways after graduation. The possibility of that was so real at one point, but now he’s sure only death would separate them, both as a unit and as friends, and these days, Rei didn’t feel that impending doom as hard as he once did.

“Rei, I can feel you thinking.” Kaoru nudged him out of thoughts. “Anything of note?” He smiled.

Rei hesitated to answer, then shook his head. “Just having my regular old man musings~ Pay me no mind, Kaoru.” Even though he had practically been waiting to drop the honorific since graduation, it still felt strange coming out of his mouth.

“Hmmm, I’ll have to pick your mind later then~” Kaoru glanced at the others, grinning when Koga made a disgusted face at them. He opened his mouth to say something more before the waiter finally came with their food. “Oh sweet!”

Rei kept his eyes on Kaoru, only glancing up at the waiter to give him a smile as his food was handed over.

Yeah, there’s no one else he would ever consider relying on for this. The only reality he cares about is this one.

“Are you not hungry, Sakuma-san?” Adonis didn’t necessarily sound concerned though, he surely understood Rei’s hesitance. He looked over to Adonis, then shook his head.

“My apologies, I was still caught up in my thoughts.” He put his hands together, said his thanks, and picked up his chopsticks, catching Koga shake his head at him out of the corner of his eye.

No other reality would be better than this one.

#enstars #ensemble stars #reikao #rei sakuma #Kaoru Hakaze #jenna named this one for me

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 21 days

Text

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH STILL FREAKING OUT OH MY GOSH

Y'all I'm losing it

HUAAAGHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH FIRST DATE

LOL YEAH I'M TENSE TOO

AUGUHAH HE'S ADMITTING IT FIRST DATE WITH A MAN OHHHH MY GOSH I'M NOT OKAY LOL

THIS BETTER BE AN ACTUAL DATE BC THAT WOULD BE AWKWARD

SPFIENAIMCLS IT'S A GROUP DATE

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH EDDIE'S HEREEEEE

OR IS IT ON ACCIDENT MAYBE O.O

IS HE GONNA THINK THEY'RE JUST THERE AS BUDDIES O.O (BUDDIE LOL)

OR IS HE GONNA THINK HE WAS BI THIS WHOLE TIME BUT BUCK WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW

Oh my gosh I'm freaking out

I'm not okay

What the heck

(edit starts here)

Ope a guy with his hand

OPE OH GOSH

That's not good o.o

Not really matching your message sir xD

Oh goshh o.o 😳😬

OH GOSH BUCK

Me when I saw the promo again a little while later: OH MY GOSH HOW DID I FORGET THAT BIT

Gosh. Wow

(end of edit)

Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm not okay

I LOVED THIS EPISODE SO MUCH!!! OH MY GOSH. This is the anti feeling to last night when I watched tgd and the end killed me for an entirely different reason THE GAYS ARE WINNNINGGGGGG!!!! I'm not okay. Anyway IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! Genuinely though all the plots throughout were really good and there were a TON of good moments. Plus the crossover with The Bachelor was GREAT lol. I need to go back and watch those first two minutes but I will update the post slfjdfhs. Now, I'm going to make a quick celebration post and maybe rewatch that clip if possible, and then I'll be back because I can't possibly put off this review xD. Oh my gosh I'm having so many thoughts.

OKAY AAHHH HI ME FROM THE NEXT DAY I was literally freaking out so much (and still am) that I couldn't do it and I kept procrastinating and then I fell asleep lol xD. I have continued to procrastinate (and I had things to do) but!! Here I am :)).

First though, I'm going to go back to the promo bit and add the second half because apparently I completely forgot about it, and I have since watched it a couple of times xD.

Okay!! Now, let's talk about some other bits of the episode xdd.

The Bachelor crossover was so fun!!! I've never seen The Bachelor lol but it was a great story, great call xD. And everyone freaking out SLFKGHDKS!! Maddie and Josh fighting over the call to Chimney giving them spoilers to Eddie siccing the girls on Buck to Bobby and Hen going 👁️👄👁️. And that poor girl xdd. Also the "Do I have to?" "I wouldn't" just killed me xDD. Glad she's okay though :)). Sucks she'll never have her chance lol. But hey, she got to talk to him :)!! Wild xD. Anyway, I think was a super fun thing to throw in there for the 100th episode :DD. It's also interesting to see a reality show crossover with a fiction show xD. Had a fun time with it!!

Maddie and Chim!! They were so funny at the beginning xD. Her sending the 118 was wild lol. Also I loved her face to him later when he was talking about how cool Tommy was right after Buck was complaining about him (😏😏) xDD. They're idiots your honor lol <33. Anyway, Chimney slayed on the calls today 🥰. Especially figuring out the head trauma for that poor woman! Nice job my guy :)). Also, I didn't notice it until I saw subtitles later but "I'm your basketball beard" AUGHWUOGIH!!!! XDD SLFJDGLKDS HE'S SO WILD FOR THAT O.O. Anyway he did genuinely slay, loved him supporting Buck lol :)). I'm sure there was some brother in law bonding in there xD. Maddie slayed on calls too!! I really loved her conversations with Buck though :D :)). The brunch one was sweet and kind of silly, plus the "Is it circled with a heart?" line was SO GOOD LOL SLFJDHS XDD. Idiot <33 (Buck more than anything but it's all affectionate I promise). Also I really loved Maddie's reaction to Buck talking about maybe accidentally purposefully injuring Eddie. It completely makes sense for her character and I'm really glad it was in there, it added some great depth <33. Though the storyline itself has depth!! Especially after the ending lol. Anyway, poor Maddie with her story about the Sarah's :(( xd. That sucks :'(. I do kind of know how it is (not quiiite as close) and it really can be awful xd. Dyeing your hair is a wild step xD. Plus SLFKGJDS "I would've changed both names" oh my gosh XDDD 💀. Also nice on her for calling Buck out for acting like a teenage girl lol. Anyway, love her, and Chimney <33.

Hen and Ravi!! We didn't see much of either of them this episode but they were great :DD. Poor Ravi xD. Bro had no clue what was going on with anything ever lol. He didn't even know who Tommy was! After all the drama he caused!! Poor guy's out of the loop (well for the drama he would cause, is what I meant) lol. They both slayed this episode though :DD!! Hen was great on the house invasion call and the Bachelor call :)). Love them <333.

Bobby, Athena, and Harry!! AYYY Harry :DD!! Welcome back man 🥰. Seeing him greet Athena and Bobby was so nice :'D. It's nice to have him back :')). Sucks to have a change in actors (Marcanthonee will be missed!!) but I'm sure he's gonna be great :)). Elijah, I believe his name is? Welcome aboard dude :DD! Anyway, his return isn't under the best of circumstances o.o. Love Bobby knowing, or being suspicious yk, and called Michael (they are my besties your honor 🥰🥰, I love them <33). Also really glad he told Athena immediately and didn't turn to hide it or anything 😬 :)). Anyway, glad he was so supportive <33. That whole thing was wild though o.o 😬😬😳. It really sucks so much that that happened :((. Harry didn't deserve that, and he was totally valid in his anger and wanting to respond. I don't think he should've beaten the guy up, but I get it. It sucks that he was to be a representative but that's how it is :'((. Hopefully it'll change one day. Also his conversation with Athena about it all and whether she cares more about being a cop or his mom OOUFGH O.O. That bit hit HARD 😬😭. He did have a bit of a point, but I'm glad he apologized <33. And that Athena was more understanding the second time. On a lighter note, her waking up him by pouring a bucket of water on him was amazing LOL xD. Anyway, seeing his reaction to the video hurt so much :((( 😭😭😭💔. It really is awful to see yourself angry. I only tend it see it in writing and it still sucks and is hard xdd. But HALLELUJAH YAYY he's not being charged, at least with prison time that is :')). And he's sticking around :DD!! I'm sure it'll be difficult with Athena monitoring his community service and such but I think it'll be really fun storyline wise :)). Also Athena having to tell that mom that she shot her son 😭😭😭💔💔🥺🥺. That was so awful, I'm so sorry honey <33? And that poor lady 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔. Her acting was amazing <333. It's such an awful situation and I hope she manages to be as okay as she can be :'((. Pooe guy <33 he seemed great :'( :'). Anyway, love them all (the three I said lol) <33 🥰🥰.

It's time.

Well time to talk about the rest of it besides that one part of the ending lol.

Buck and Eddie, and Tommy!! BROOK this was so wild o.o xD. The jealousy was painful 😭, but I also kinda loved it, it was hilarious xD. It really sucks that Buck was feeling left out, and I do think they were kind of leaving him out, but I don't think it was at all intentional. Eddie invited him to basketball several times, and the other things were things he and Tommy already had plans for. He even seemed excited when he thought Buck was going to come to the fight with them (which that bit HURT by the way lol 💀)!! He did seem kinda shady asking Buck to watch Chris but I'm sure it was an accident xDD. He's just an idiot your honor lol <33. I do wish he was a little more obvious about not blaming Buck when he got injured, but like, he was in a whole lot of pain with a possibly broken ankle xD. It's understandable lol and I don't blame him. I also don't think Tommy was trying to exclude Buck! H was happy to see Buck throughout the episode, he gave him a tour, planned to give him flying lessons!! It was just a really unfortunate situation and Buck wasn't communicating (as he admitted at the end lol). Poor Buck though through all of it 😭😭💔🥺. I know it was kind of on him for not communicating but it just sucks being left out :((, I totally get it. You don't wanna say anything and be told you're overreacting or for people to think it's weird, and you don't wanna be possessive or anything, but it sucks and you miss them :((. I know how it feels xD xd. Still, I'm really glad he was getting aware of it, and he listened to the help from Maddie lol <3.

I think the conversation at the end was a really good way of wrapping it all up. Seeing everyone's side (Eddie's opinion given by Tommy but honestly he wasn't really as involved in the problem lol), and having everyone apologize. Also then them hyping each other up :')). I do find it interesting to see and outside perspective to the 118! We're so used to the family that is the 118 and the 126 that we don't really think about the fact that it's probably not like that for most people xdd. It wasn't even really like that when Tommy was there. And it makes sense for him to be jealous over it!! It's completely understandable and a really cool perspective to see :)). Although I will agree with Buck lol, he's pretty cool on his own lol.

Now, seeing as I was freaking out and forgot half the previous lines, I'm going to say what I thought/my reactions to a few specific lines and everything as it started to ramp up xD.

By the way, I have watched this scene (or at least parts of it) like. 20 times now. And some of it I'm still trying to remember as I freak out once again right now lol xD. So keep that in mind lol.

When they were talking about the mouths static was hilarious xD. In all fairness, it wasn't great lol.

And then the Muay Thai (I think that's how it's spelled?), the after flying lessons bit and "Not in the same day"??? AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! That's where I started to really get stressed and suspicious and in shock xDD. I was like um. what was that. XD.

And then. Buck admitting he was trying to get TOMMY'S attention o.o. I genuinely wasn't expecting it but looking back on the episode it all makes sense yk o.o. Honestly I don't think even Buck really realized that was it until during that conversation, especially given his tone shift. And the Tommy's face afterward 😭. Bro is surprised xD. And I'm going to be completely honest, I thought Buck was saying "I didn't mean my best friend" there and not "I did maim best friend" until like the tenth time I watched it o.o xDD. The first one was wild, a self denial of Buddie because he's oblivious xDD. The second one makes more sense but is equally as wild o.o lol. He's realizing that just before he says it xD. And maim is dramatic but he did injure Eddie 😬🥺. Anyway, the next bit.

You know.

The moment.

"My sister says there's better ways to get someone's atten-" AND HE K I S S E D HIM!!!!! WHEN. I. TELL. YOU. I. LOST. MY. MINDDDD!!!!

It was so wild oh my gosh. You can look at my liveblog for more freaking out about that xD (and probably later in this post lol. And also in anything I've reblogged about it xD). I can still barely believe it's real. That it happened xd. I realized a little while ago that I have no idea what I'd do if Buddie actually got together, and I felt some of that feeling here. We thought for SO LONG,l we wouldn't have it, had kind of lost hope, and then BOOM!!!! I know I had hope for this episode but it wasn't SERIOUS, not really!! Hope but "I expect it.not to happen, no matter how hard I hope xdd". And we may not have gotten Buddie BUT WE DID GET BISEXUAL BUCK!!!!!!! I'm genuinely still so happy about that oh my gosh. I meant to make a post earlier but I was grinning in the hallway at school xD.

Now, AFTER THE KISS WAS SO WILD TOO AAAAHHHHHH.

OKAY I'm back for a third time lol, later in the day xD. Had a lot to do but now I'm here!

Anyway AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I barely even registered the sus stuff they were saying beforehand because I was in such shock, and the same goes for afterwards xD. I was just SCREEEAMING!!

But!! Some of these being my thoughts having watched it 20 times, and some of them being what I thought at the time, THE MOUTH STATIC COMMENT 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺 XD. Also we love Tommy asking if it was okay 🥺🥺🥺❤️🥰 :'). Anyway, it's the way Buck is just absolutely speechless. The only thing he has is the mouth static comment and that's it xD. All he had laid out lol. It's so cute to see him flustered and speechless :')). Also the fact that some of it comes from this revelation he just had (not just being a bi disaster, but discovering he's a bi disaster) is so good <333. And I just- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!! HE'S F R E E!!! AT 8 ON SATURDAY SURE BUT HE'S F R E E 😭😭😭😭😭💔❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥰🥰😎!!! ACCIDENTAL SUNGLASSES BUT WE'RE KEEPING IT. LIKE THE WAY HE SAID IT AUGOAUHUGIH HE. IS FREE!!

I'm so not okay over that <33

Anyway I love that Tommy does all the talking lol, he knows Buck can't and is short circuiting but he still has a conversation with him xD :).

And just AAAAHHHHHHHH THEY'RE GOING ON THEIR FIRST DATE!! IT'S SATURDAY AT 8 BRO!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AUUUUAGHHHHHH!!

I mean I know you all do but you know lol.

Also Tommy telling Buck to call Eddie xD. Yeeeah, honestly seems like a good time to call and talk to him if he's on pain pills lol. Buck might have trouble speaking though, given he's still having a queer crisis xD. Kinda crisis, kinda discovery. Skipped some of that stage lol.

Buck's final look of the episode just destroys me :')). He's so baffled and happy your honor <33.

Now here's someone I'll say that I've been thinking of about the whole thing. Buck's tone changed, his vibe changed, something in his eyes changed, during that scene. Around the flying lessons bit xD. You can tell. I think he felt it, he just wasn't exactly sure what it was. And whatever he thought it was was probably terrifying (assuming he guessed correctly or knew lol). I think, if Tommy hadn't done something, he would've just let it go, let the moment pass. And, especially if he's done the same thing before, I think he would've pushed it away enough that he stopped thinking about it. I don't know if he has ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. But it makes me think of a Buck who had Moments, who Wondered, and then dismissed them immediately because there was no way, he Couldn't. Or it was something he couldn't quite place. So he left it alone and forgot about it.

Idk. All I know is I don't think he would've made a move if Tommy hadn't lol, even if he was feeling the vibes xD.

Anyway, I've been genuinely so ill over all of this for literal days now. It's just past midnight on Friday for me lol. I'm just going so insane over it.

Today a question of the day in one of my classes was "What's a moment from tv/movies/musicals that impacted you?", you know something wild or epic or emotional or whatever, that impacted you. And, though it's far from the first time it's happened to me, I said this. Buck realizing he was bisexual. I don't think some people realize (though surely most of us on Tumblr do): This is a masculine, main character (honestly the main character) on an extremely popular mainstream television show, that after 7 seasons realized he was bisexual, and he's not a trope. It is profoundly impactful. Still definitely give credit where it's due to shows that have been doing it since the beginning (Lone Star, for example), but this is huge. They finally CAN do it. And I'm so happy for them, and proud of Buck :')).

Also quick note I just love how much Oliver is committed to and knows his character. The fact that he withdrew media wise because he agreed with us?? Wild. But he genuinely loves Buck so much, probably more than any of us, and he fights so hard to do him right <33. I'm so proud of, but more importantly, happy for him :')). He's been waiting so long for this and he totally deserves it, he absolutely slayed it <33. His acting was AMAZING, as always. I mean it's always great but this was just top both xD :'D. Anyway, thank you Oliver <3.

And thank you to everyone else on the show who worked to make this happen!!! And everyone in the fandom who fought for this!

I still genuinely can't believe it xd. It's just- amazing <3.

Also, quick think on Buddie: I do still want Buddie long-term. But I think Buck and Tommy could be cute, and no matter what I'm just excited to see where it goes for now :)). I actually kind of think it's better that Buck doesn't date Eddie first, for him and for us (a likelihood of them staying together). He needs to discover/explore/understand this new part of himself, and that might require branching out a bit :). Plus it's just good for him to get to be out there and live how he wants to, not worrying about endgame right now. I think Buddie will happen one day, but for now I am absolutely happy with this <333. I think it's gonna be great, and I am so excited :D.

One last scream:

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! It was sooo good, and not just The Moment. All the calls were cool and interesting, including the crossover, which was fun. Everyone's individual storylines were good, and even through a lot of silly moments, packed and stuffed with emotion :'). Plus all the little throwbacks to episode 1, and the series in general, were great and really awesome :'DD. Also, just thinking about the impact of the kiss being in the 100th episode <33. Wow. So insane (me) <33. Anyway, Buck and Tommy was wild but they were cute, I'm glad Buck and Eddie are doing better. I'm also glad everything got worked out between Athena and Harry <33. The situation sucks but I think we made the best out of it :')). I loved the Buck and Maddie interactions and moments this episode, they were great <33. I wish we got a few more team moments, or full family moments, for the 100th episode, but that's a small thing :) ❤️. I still THOROUGHLY enjoyed it and I thought it was just absolutely amazing.

So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was super great. There were a bunch of fun storylines, which I don't want to forget about in light of the last scene. I'm so excited for the next episode! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 4: Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered

It was so amazing. I'm so excited but so nervous for the next episode! I'm sure it'll work out fine but it looks wild. I'll be back here next week for my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 7, Episode 5: You Don't Know Me

See you next week!!

#9-1-1 #911 #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc #911 spoilers #9-1-1 spoilers #evan buckley #he deserves it lol #I talked about him a LOT #also that episode title terrifies me #I'm sure it'll all end up fine but xd #if buck says that to eddie at any point I will actually absolutely lose my mind #I would love it for the angst and the drama #but it would hurt soo much #I don't think it will #but you never know xD #I do think/know that everything will work out okay though :'))#I'm still freaking out so much :'DD #I've written 377 words of a fic and I've seen the kiss scene like 25 times xD #or at least parts of it #I'm just going so insane <33 #got to freak out with someone irl earlier and it was great lol I needed that xD #kinda with two people #one knew and one didn't but was okay with spoilers. was still SHOCKED when we told them though LOL #anyway!!!#anyway!! so not okay :')). but I am genuinely living my best life /gen #I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!#byeeee :))) <333 🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!!

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fridayyy-13th · 7 months

Text

so i am an ardent Sasha James Enjoyer, and as such i very much dislike fanon!Sasha. her personality and character do a near-complete 180 from canon to fanon, making it tough as hell to find fics that don't just make her the Braincell Mom Friend—if she's even featured—and i took that personally. i'm a fic writer, and i have quite a few WIPs bouncing around in my flash drive that feature her in at least some capacity, and i certainly didn't want to add to the pile of fics where Sasha is Like That. so, a while ago i re-listened to every episode she appears in and Compiled A List of Sasha Trivia, just random bits of info that caught my attention that help me keep a clear image of her character in my head. with maybe a little bit of headcanon thrown in there for fun.

so! without further ado: various Sasha notes bc i love her

never had any direct interactions/experiences with the supernatural before the Distortion

afraid of rollercoasters, doesn't like horror

considered herself a skeptic, thought working in the Institute made her moreso

had a "dreary" commute to work, liked peeking through the old warped windows of her building's stairwell bc it made people distort like a funhouse mirror

a bit of a pedant (calliope)

was more sympathetic towards Martin than the other two were after he gave his first statement in 022, felt bad for him being the target of Jon's ire

sososo curious, to the point it can overpower fear

deliberately didn't tell Jon about her initial encounter with the Distortion bc she knew he'd try to discourage her from going, which she'd already decided to do (stubborn)

of course, followed the Distortion (a whole-ass monster) to a cemetery in the dead of night without telling anyone about it

(she did so because it sounded like it knew a way to save Jon's, Tim's, and Martin's lives, and in the wake of Prentiss targeting Martin, she decided she couldn't take that chance)

"without thinking" she figured out how to kill the worms using CO2. i like to think that was some Knowing right there

Jon considered her the most "level-headed" of the team, and trusted her to be telling the truth

was the one to ask if Jon was okay after being caught off-guard by his surprise party (and was also the one who said it was "kind of fun, giving you a heart attack")

knew Jon was lying about his age, knew about Martin's CV (goes through her coworkers' files)

despite having hacked her way into said confidential files, she considered being recorded during Jon's birthday party an invasion of privacy

bullied Tim into stapling statements that one time

Tim was more outwardly upset by Jon's being promoted instead of Sasha than she was. she knew if she said anything about it she'd just wind up in trouble, so she kept her mouth shut

had been in academia for ten years by the time the Archives transfer occurred

knew about Danny and the reasons Tim joined the Institute

didn't think there was such a thing as a "real you," save for the actions one takes. considered everything else a mask put on for others

was dead-sure (and was correct in thinking that) Gertrude kept the Archives a mess for a reason, and was concerned about what the reason could be

and that's about all! alas it would have been wonderful if we'd gotten the chance to learn more about her, but given she's only in six episodes, some only for a moment, she really is jam-packed full of character and life. i love her so much.

#friday chats #the magnus archives #sasha james #don't mind me starting like half the sentences in that beginning bit with 'so' btw. it's a bit of a problem lol

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 5 months

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i’m actually curious to hear about what was gojo, shoko, and nanami immediate reaction to finding out about the abuse megumi suffered? like the way you said that nanami was the one who found out and how it played a role in nanami wanting out of jujustu society? i can only imagine how megumi must’ve felt like he’s the type to suffer in silence and assume the worst, so i just know he thought gojo and the others knew about the abuse but thought that it was something he was suppose to shoulder for tsumiki’s sake.

it also make me curious on your interpretation of gojo and megumi dynamic bc when megumi first woke up he was lowkey surprised that gojo was with him instead of doing gojo things, like it just make me think that despite megumi looking up to gojo as a parental figure and gojo taking in megumi as his own, megumi must think that he’s not a top priority in gojo’s life especially when the abuse he suffered at the zenins come into play.

Immediate reaction:

Nanami saw Haibara.

In my mind, Haibara died saving Nanami's life. Nanami would have died; Haibara died in his place. Nanami had survivor's guilt out his ears when they first adopted megumi and tsumiki, and a part of him always thought it should have been the other way around. Haibara was the one that had so much passion for life. He had a sister and a family and people he was close to. Nanami was always just... less, in his own mind. It wasn't supposed to go this way.

What happened to Haibara haunted him. He swore he would never again be so useless as he was when that curse ripped off the lower half of his best friend's body.

Adopting Megumi and Tsumiki actually made him feel like they were doing something good, for once? Gojo had all these pie in the sky ideals for what they would make this society into that a part of Nanami couldn't help but buy into. They kept the kids together. They were all genuinely happy, for a time.

The Zenin just shattered that reality. It had been cracking all throughout their custody, and it broke irreparably when the Zenin pushed too far and didn't even seem to think they'd face consequences for that. This isn't the first time they put him in a hospital bed, is the thing, and it was sort of a slap in the face for them all to realize that they had let it get so bad that the zenin genuinely thought they could do that to their kid without fearing reprisal.

Nanami saw Haibara, experienced some of the most potent guilt and anger he's ever felt in his life, and rushed Megumi to Shoko for treatment.

Then, he went back to the Zenin compound to kick Zenin Naoya's ass.

In my mind, Nanami and Naoya has a sort of ugly dynamic in school. Nanami and Naoya were in the same class year, so they were often paired against each other in goodwill events and the like, but Gojo was the one that Naoya wanted to rival.

Naoya was always after Nanami as a student. He has an insecurity complex the size of the international space station and constantly wanted to prove he was better by stepping on Nanami. He'd tried to kick Nanami's teeth in pretty much every time they had seen each other, and if Nanami was being honest? Naoya won almost all their fights.

But a lot of jujutsu sorcery is about mindset, and Nanami had the mindset of ripping out Zenin naoya's spine. He got into a brutal, bloody, neck-and-neck, good old fashioned semipublic brawl with Naoya in the middle of the Zenin compound, which is around the time that Gojo showed up.

And Gojo's reaction is what Maki remembers: the ground shook with his anger. And he took Megumi away forever.

But first, to wrap up Nanami.

Nanami really snapped when they were all in megumi's hospital room and Yaga was trying to figure out how the hell to fix this and floated the idea of a binding vow or something regulating Megumi's treatment. He broke down, started screaming at Yaga that Yaga and the higher ups were going to kill them, they were going to kill all of them. And just. refused to go on. He couldn't do it anymore. Not if it was just going to end like haibara.

He told Gojo he was taking visitation with Megumi and Tsumiki. They'd have a set schedule where they'd go stay with him. It would be reliable. It would be a place where they could go and not have to worry about the jujutsu world. They needed stability and safety, and Nanami wasn't about to walk away from them.

He also told Gojo he wanted their passports. And it was pretty strongly implied that it was so he could take them and run if he had to. Gojo gave them to him, and they both politely pretended like that would have made a lick of difference if Nanami wanted to take them and Gojo wouldn't let him. There was no where in the world that Nanami could actually run to that wasn't at Gojo's allowance.

Shoko I'm actually gonna decline to answer for right now. She had her own issues going on that we're gonna get into with more detail in the next few chapters that heavily contextualize what her response was.

What happened to Megumi was honestly was the real turning point for Gojo. He was over halfway there with Riko and Geto and Haibara, but Megumi set him on the road to no return.

He never forgave himself for letting the Zenin alone with Megumi, and he never forgave Yaga and the higher ups, either.

I really do want to emphasize that Yaga cares, but he approaches every issue with with a fundamental distinction from Gojo's--and he sort of had to, at the beginning. He didn't have to later, but he never really acted that fact.

Gojo has all the leverage in the world, is the thing. He's got power and money and influence. He was born irreplaceable. Yaga's got some very very limited leverage. He's extremely powerful even if he's nowhere near Gojo's league, he's got a useful technique, and he's good at playing the political game. That's it, and almost all of it is replaceable. Gojo can butt heads with the higher ups all he wants and be fine, but Yaga will be shown the door if he makes too much noise.

When Gojo first brought Megumi home, he had never gone up against the higher ups before. Not really. He thought he did with Riko, but the point was moot by the time the higher ups even found out about it. He hadn't figured out just how to push and how far he could go. He relied on the help of the only adult he trusted, Yaga, and Yaga taught him to play the game the same way Yaga had to play it his entire life.

Except Gojo never had to play the game. It was pointless from the start. Which means his kid spent a long time getting abused for absolutely no benefit, on Yaga's recommendation, to pander to some assholes who were never going to play nice back.

Megumi set him on the path to his Absolutely No Compromising policy with the higher ups and the rest of the society. He taught him that these aren't rational people who are working for a common good--they're fucking crazy and they will hurt kids to satisfy their whims. Every single time that he dug his heels in about a student with the higher ups, he had the memory of what happened to Megumi when he didn't dig his heels in hanging over him.

And a big part of that was that he doesn't know if he could handle feeling a second time how he felt when he found out what was happening to Megumi behind his back. He had built up this idea in his mind about how he would make a better world for the next generation, that he wouldn't be like the higher ups slowly killing geto by sending him on mission after mission... and then he got the very first member of his next generation and slowly killed him sending him off to people who were hurting him. It was gojo making the drop offs and the pick ups and not goddamn seeing it for all his six eyes.

He almost killed the entire Zenin clan, honestly. Wiped them all out. He's always sort of struggled with homicidal thoughts and low empathy, and just fucking. slaughtering the zenin felt like a pretty good idea right then.

But he didn't want to be like the great sorcerers of old, who were madmen on a power trip killing everyone who made them angry. and he knew if the slaughtered an entire clan of sorcerers, he'd become that. he couldn't come back. so he took megumi away forever, and he promised him it would never happen again, and he tried to do it right every time after, and it has never, ever felt like enough.

Megumi as a kid was just very young and not clued into the dynamics of everything and in a terrible fucking situation that he couldn't get out of. His family thought he was acting out and getting upset because he didn't want to stay with the Zenin, he wanted to stay with his sister instead. And they were coming off the sorcerer equivalent of the cold war just getting this compromise. They thought this was all about Megumi wanting to stay with his sister, and this was the deal they brokered to keep him with his sister. The zenin wanted tsumiki gone from his life completely. they wanted full custody of him. This, staying with them with a few days a month, this was what let him stay with Tsumiki the rest of the time. It was the best deal they got.

Of course, Megumi didn't understand what was really happening. And he thought that Gojo, who knew everything, knew this too, especially because Megumi had told him (as best he knew how). He thought he had to shut up and take it with the abuse or he couldn't stay with Tsumiki anymore. So he shut up and took it, and he's never really come back from it.

In my mind, Megumi walked into canon with a sort of mindset that he just would never be as powerful or big as someone like gojo. He didn't know he had special grade potential. He didn't think he could win special grade fights. he didn't know how to put in his best. and a big part of that was because he hadn't gotten past who he was as a little boy, who had to shut up and let himself be hurt. The Zenin were the ones who taught him how to feel small and helpless and frustrated with that fact. He had so much practice being hurt that he couldn't imagine a world where he was too strong to not be hurt anymore.

Megumi and Gojo's relationship:

I actually think Megumi's surprise came more from his conviction that Gojo would intervene if he had known the truth of what the Zenin had spent the past week doing to him.

Like, your reading is the one that's most apparent from what Megumi said. It's absolutely the impression Gojo took from it. But megumi was very out of it when he was talking, and a lot of wires got crossed. it had a very different context in his head that he couldn't really express in the moment.

Megumi's consistently shown to be one of the most strategically minded characters in the show. He's great at assessing threats, figuring out techniques, and coming up with plans to beat the odds. He knows how to properly assess his risks and figure out how to stack the deck to give himself at least a shot.

And I think Megumi realized that he wasn't getting out of the Zenin compound alive a while ago. And a big part of that was because he knew from the start that he could not for a second rely on Gojo coming to get him.

It was just math. Megumi didn't have a way out on his own. He would need Gojo to come get him out. But Gojo was busy. If he wasn't busy, he would have found out already, somehow, and he would have already come to save him. The Zenin only managed this because Gojo had a war, and he was busy, and he'd be busy for weeks.

And Megumi did not have weeks.

It was a constant running calculation for him. At first, maybe he could make it through a few weeks. It would suck, sure. They'd beat the shit out of him, but it wouldn't be the first time. He'd be in terrible goddamn shape by the end of it all, but he'd survived the Zenin's abuse before, and he wasn't six years old anymore. He could make it until Gojo realized what had happened, and then he would come. Megumi was certain of it.

Then, they locked him in the room with curses for days. And he realized that he would be dead before Gojo's war finished.

Gojo wouldn't realize he was gone for weeks. And Megumi's estimates of his own survival quickly dropped from a few weeks to a week, to a few days, to a few hours.

Gojo would save him, if he knew, but Gojo was busy. He had a war. He wouldn't be there for weeks, and Megumi did not have weeks.

It sort of stuck in his brain? Gojo was busy. He didn't know that the Zenin were doing this to him. That's the only reason why he wouldn't come for megumi, and he was not going to find out in time. He wasn't coming, and Megumi was not going to die waiting to be saved by someone who was. not. coming. he had enough pride left for that at least.

Seeing Gojo in his hospital room broke the math for him. It just didn't compute. He was busy. He had a war. The Zenin could only do this to him because Gojo was busier than he had been in a decade, and he wouldn't be back until after the clock ran out for him. He was supposed to die before ever seeing Gojo again. So why the hell was Gojo standing above him? He was supposed to be busy.

#sea glass gardens

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