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#i am leaving this blog so out come the hot takes!
brittmouse-spirals · 2 days
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hi it's the girl who isn't allowed to cum this year, I've been edging more and more I edge for like at least an hour or two a day now if not more and your blog is still one of the things I look at most regularly while I edge bc you post a lot and your posts are so hot. FUCK I want to cum so so bad it’s all i can think about but good girls don't cum good girls rub their minds away good girls edge forever idont deserve to cum i want to be a good girl good girls dont cumm
…uh. oh yeah I'm sending this bc last time you said something about wanting to see how much of a mess I'd be by the end of the month so um hi here I am… I'm getting so much worse
- F
i'm so so proud to be one you touch and rub and edge and drool over! gosh you really have gotten worse haven't you? there's less and less of your old "smart girl" brain in your head after each edge. you're so much more desperate and weak and obedient. that programming you subject your weak toy mind to is taking over everything else. it leaves you docile, open, accepting of whatever your superiors say or want. how about you let me put some good girl wisdom in your head?
you need to edge. you don't need to cum. cumming makes the pleasure stop. stretch out that pleasure. you need to edge.
you don't deserve to cum. you're a dumb slut who gave up her orgasms for pleasure and control. keep denying yourself. keep scrolling. keep babbling brainlessly about what a good girl you are for not cumming. good girls don't cum. you don't deserve to cum.
keep edging, whore! go deeper. get worse. you love how much worse you are now. this is good for you. this is what you need. this is what you want. edge until all your thoughts leak out of you. edge until you forget what cumming feels like. edge until the greatest pleasure you get is from making your superiors cum. edge yourself empty. edge until you never want to cum again.
and then keep edging. deeper is the only way forward now. you're fucked. we're fucked. keep fucking edging, slut. tempt those around you. corrupt those around you. show them how good edging feels. get them hooked. make them edge sluts like you. edge to what you'll do to them. drool over their blank faces and busy fingers. pull each other even deeper into bliss.
after all, good girls make more good girls. 💖
keep me updated, slut, i've been edging myself to my own words towards you. i wanna watch you get worse. you're so fucking hot when you're denied, begging, and stupid!
(and remember, if this is ever overwhelming or interfering with your non-kink life, you have the permission and the duty to step back and recover. i know i just said a lot of very very degrading stuff, but you really do deserve rest and support. you're allowed to take as long a break as you need from edging - just as long as you don't cum. your needs come first. treat yourself like the prized princess you are, ok?)
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compacflt · 6 months
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hey! i was just going through your blog, and i saw a post about ice&carole and mav&goose. i looked a bit more but i couldn't find a post about your take on mav and goose's relationship, so i wanted to ask what it was. if you have answered this, i'm sorry about asking you again. imo i think what they had was wayy deeper than friendship but complex and probably not romantic, but again, i just wanted to know your thoughts on it.
thank you! and this blog has probably been one of the best finds i have ever come across on tumblr, i'll be sad to see you go.
yeah, i was really trying to be suave and subtle and mysterious about it with this parallel
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like, you should be able to figure it out for yourself.
but luckily for you i looooove beating dead horses. to a problematic degree.
the full story of my vision of mavgoose (moose?) is in the completed draft of the extras that are coming out on Saturday. about halfway through. But i want to bring it back to the internal craft-of-writing debate i brought up yesterday—my inability to summarize, or to cut superfluous sections that don’t really matter.
I’ll stick it under the cut for spoiler reasons, but i wanna show the simple first draft of this scene versus the complicated, heavier final draft. And I want to ask any of you, if you’re interested—as a reader, which is more impactful? which should i end up publishing?
the simple first draft:
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then i kept turning it in my head thinking of different ways to edit it to say something slightly different, to get a little more specific, coming up with things to add, and ended up adding like five extra paragraphs. which is this:
about 1/4 of the final draft (by which i mean, this is about 1/4 of the whole final discussion scene, but the goosemav-specific content only goes on for about another graf [omitted bc spoilers]):
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(so to answer your ask explicitly, i actually don’t think they were anything deeper than good friends. imo there’s no evidence that they were anything deeper than good friends, especially with maverick blowing goose/goose’s wishes off soooo many times [‘she’s lost that lovin feelin;’ volleyball; refusing to do the responsible thing at least twice even after goose tells him it puts his & his family’s livelihoods at risk…bro all he does is blow off goose]. see me bitching in the tags for more on this)
obviously in my head the complicated in-depth version ⬆️ is the True version, the version of events that really Happened. i think the writing is in some spots much more compelling. But it just doesn’t make for a particularly good reading experience when it’s surrounded by like 3/4 pages of other discussion of history! sometimes too much of (what i think is) a good thing turns that good thing bad! & this is a major keystone dynamic of my whole series so i just want to get it right, for my own peace of mind. I guess im asking you to be the harsh editor i wish i had sometimes, if ur interested in doing so—this is genuinely a major major problem i have with my writing, i can’t ever just leave well enough alone 😭 please let me know if simpler is better/less is more in this case! do i publish the short vague “the reader fills in the blanks” version or the long boring “here’s EXACTLY how i see it” version?
#crowd sourcing beta readers. let me know.#also.#how many times do i have to say maverick is neither a good person nor a good friend#and the writers of TGM hugely whitewashed and dulled down the original sharpness and thoughtlessness of his character#for the sake of post-50s tom cruise mary-sueifying him#before it sticks?#if it helps you can write out a list of his actions in the original movie.#for instance: > blows off goose to be late to dinner with Charlie anyway#> follows her into the women’s restroom > continues a pattern of dangerous behavior even after#Goose his supposed best friend tells him multiple times it is threatening their jobs#the truck master scene… the locker room scene… the ‘can’t afford to blow this scene’#and then he does it a FOURTH TIME AND KILLS GOOSE HELLO!!!!!#so much for being a good friend like c’mon!!!#if he REALLY respected goose he would have SHOWN HIS RESPECT FOR GOOSE!!!#i am leaving this blog so out come the hot takes!#movies are also woobifying tom cruise lately! how’s that for a hot take#i genuinely felt insulted by TGM’s sexless passionless soft bokeh-light KIND OF half-sex with Penny. that was insulting.#what happened to the savage bitter kid in 1986 top gun? why is he so soft and toothless?#the only time we see him is in the ‘it’s not the plane it’s the pilot’ ‘EXACTLY’ exchange. THATS maverick.#sorry you know me. TGM is not my favorite. i am extremely cynical about it.#i love the IP but the writing choices in the 2nd movie wrt mav especially make me…. 😵‍💫😵‍💫#pete maverick mitchell#nick goose bradshaw#mavgoose#you can ignore me bitching but pls don’t ignore my begging for secondary opinions here
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simonrillleyyysss · 6 months
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I’m so glad i found a blog that writes for us girly readers,❤️
Simon with a shy reader that’s embarrassed to be naked in front of a man for the frist time 🥺
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i’m so glad i found people who enjoy my blog 🩷
thanks for ur req!!
simon isn’t one to pressure, he keeps his distance and takes things at his own pace—and that goes for his significant other, too. so when you’re changing infront of him for the first time and you’re humiliated, he’s slightly curious, yet leaves it to stir; looking up from his book, watching your hands quickly rifle through the drawers.
‘y’right, love? seem panicky.’
he rasped, cocking a brow upwards as his finger tapped against the aged page of the book on his lap, your hands coming to cover your bra and panties timidly, sheepishly nodding.
‘mhm! all—all good!’
you quickly dismissed, shoving on a pair of shorts and a hoodie— a hum coming from his lips.
-
he had you on his lap, lips pressing against the soft skin of your neck, hands curling around your waist like you were fragile porcelain, your head resting on his broad shoulderblade like it was a cushioning of some sort, breath hitching when his hand moved to slide your shirt off, wiggling slightly.
he immediately came to a stop, looking up at your tense shoulders and scrunched nose.
‘y’ alright?’
‘i’ve never..’
‘i’ve never been naked; in front of.. a man.’
you whispered in embarrassment, hiding your face in his hand as simons head cocked to the side, letting out a soft chuckle while gently moving your wrists away.
‘darlin’, you ain’t gonna be naked.. you’ll have your..knickers on.’
the male reassured, kissing your cheek as his hand moved up to his own shirt, slipping the thin fabric over his head, patting your thigh encouragingly.
‘there, better?’
with a nod of your head, he slowly removed your shirt, placing it neatly beside on the bed; reaching up to kiss at your shoulder, hands kneading at the plush of your hips, moving to caress your midriff with soft hums, listening to your shaky breaths.
‘cant—can’t do it.’
you quickly muttered, reaching for your shirt as he nodded, helping you slide the fabric back on and gently lifting you from his lap, soft smile painted onto his lips.
‘never gonna rush you, dollie.’
-
the hot water of the bath dripped along his spine, scars covering each crook and cranny; back pressed against the cold edge of the tub, letting himself soak off after a long day, hands rubbing soap into his skin.
a gentle knock on the door caused him to cock a brow, waiting before the door slowly peeled open, your head peeking around it.
‘si?’
‘y’alright?’
he asked, reaching for a towel to get out—stopped by your sudden dismissal.
‘no-no, don’t..’
‘can i.. get in?’
you murmured, watching his brows raise with mild shock, before a nod followed; covering his eyes with his palms, humming.
‘you..don’t need to do that anymore.’
you broke the silence, watching his arms fall back down in relaxation, rolling his shoulders as he brought his knees up so you had more room, slowly sliding your shirt over your head—followed by the removal of your bottoms, before hesitantly sliding off your undergarnaments and stepping into the bath, leaning against him.
‘how lucky am i, to have such a gorgeous partner?’
he gently mumbled into your neck, kissing the skin.
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sleep-0-deprived · 7 months
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Step dad Toji . F x bottom male reader
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Female aligned Dni 18+ only content below, all ageless blogs will be blocked and I hope you all enjoy ;}
Warning daddy kink, breeding kink, overstimulation if you squint, sub/dom dynamic,age gap the reader is over 18 but you can choose the exact age
Today was a perfectly normal day beside the fact that I am being forced to have dinner with my moms new husband, “honey come down stairs” I heard my mom yell “be right their” I responded while hurriedly putting some body spray and deodorant on “honey I want you to meet your new step dad Toji” mom said pointing to a tall muscular man in a tight black shirt “nice to meet you, I’ve heard great things about you” toji spoke with a grin looking the other male up and down “I bet” I said feeling disinterest in the whole situation. I follow mom and my new step dad into the kitchen, sitting down at the table while mom walks off into the kitchen to start dinner “so what do you like to do in your free time?” Toji ask me “nothing much mainly f/h” I said while being blunt “oh that seems fun” Toji said grinning at me “it is” just as I said that my mom walked through the dinning room doors “dinner is ready” she said smiling I just want to get this over with and get back to my room but I can’t deny that Toji looks good I thought as I ate my food while listening to my mom make small talk with me. Finally dinner was over and I go to my room and lay on my bed while scrolling through my phone for a little while or so I thought I look over at the clock seeing the time “it’s already 11:00” I say shocked at how long it’s been, well I guess it’s going to be a late night shower tonight I think while walking into my bathroom “god it’s cold in here” I whisper while turning the shower on and letting it get hot. I slowly take my clothes off and look at myself in the foggy mirror before I get into the hot shower “this feels nice” I grumble as I let the water run down my back “I bet” I heard Toji say “what are you doing in here?” I feel my heart start beating faster and faster “just enjoying the show baby” the man said while licking his scar “what aren’t you supposed to be with mom right now” I gasp out while seeing him start taking his clothes off “well she fell asleep and I thought I could use a shower” he spoke while getting in the shower with me “and just what are you planning?” I say trying to pretend I don’t like this “I’m getting a shower” the larger man spoke teasing me. Toji took his large hands and ran them over my body only stopping at my thighs “god your so fucking pretty, you have no idea how much I wanted to bend you over the table and fuck you at dinner, especially when you were being bratty” the older man groaned while lifting me up with ease and pushing me against the shower walls “ahh~” I groaned as I felt the pleasure of Toji sucking my nipples until they become red and puffy
“just like that~” I moaned wanting more “your so desperate already and for your step dad, what a sick little boy you are” Toji spoke while I tried to grind myself onto him but to no avail Toji gripped my hips tightly and held them in place while not letting me move “god your so fucking desperate like a damn whore” he degraded me while rapping one hand around my head and passionately kissing me, only leaving bite marks and bruises on my body while he takes the hand from around my waist and starts stroking my dick “hahh~” I yelp out in pleasure “your so naughty, letting your step dad give you a handjob in the shower? Oh what would your mom think of you if she knew you wanted your step dad” Toji whispered in my ear while nibbling on my neck “I know it’s wrong but it all feels so damn good” I think, feeling my thoughts cloud over with Haley bliss “I’m so close toji~” I moan out while bucking my hip into his hands “since I’m your step dad you better start calling me daddy” The much older man said with a demanding voice while speeding up his pace and stroking my dick faster than before with more pressure behind it “I’m gonna cum~” I scream out while thick white strings of my semen shoot on toji’s chest and stomach but quickly getting washed off by the now cold water “how about we continue this in your room since the water is cold now?” Toji grunted out “yes please” I spoke with a broken voice. Without hesitating Toji swiftly turned the shower off and carried me to my bed
Toji soon laid me down onto my bed and snapped me out of my trance “face down ass up baby” Toji shot me his signature grin while licking his scar, I waist no time in rolling on my stomach and I soon feel on finger coated in saliva prod into my hole “god your so tight, are yo a virgin?”he asks me “yes” I whispered, my face feeling flush with embarrassment “oh well I guess I’m lucky aren’t I?” And before I could say anything he swiftly shoved two mor fingers in “hahh~” I scream at the three large fingers fucking into my virgin hole. soon I become used to the feeling and it soon turning into pleasure “right there~” I groan feeling Toji hit my prostate “looks like I found it” toji grunted while pulling his fingers out and earning a needy whine from me “don’t worry I’ll be filling that pretty little hole of yours very soon with something better” before I could speak Toji bottomed out “ngh~” I scream in pain “don’t worry it will all turn into pleasure soon baby” Toji grunted out while starting to move his hips and slowly thrusting into me “yes please right there~” I groaned out as Toji nailed into my prostate “damn your such a fucking slut I’ve just started and your already cock drunk” Toji said in a stern voice while snapping his hips har against mine “yes please I’m your slut daddy~” I moaned in my pillows and gripping my sheets while he railed me from behind “your taking daddy’s cock so well, I just my have to turn you into my personal cock sleeve~” Toji groaned out “yes please turn me in to your cock sleeve daddy~” I moan out as Toji pounds into me, nailing my prostate head on with every thrust “ahh~” I scream out as Toji starts stroking my dick in rhythm to his thrusts almost like he is milking me dry “hahh I’m soo close daddy~” I scream “I’m close too baby boy just hold out a little longer~” Toji groans out with his thrusts becoming faster and harder, fucking me so hard all I see is stars “I’m gonna cu~” before the moans left my lips I came all over my sheets and my cum pumps onto them with a few more thrusts Toji cums inside me, letting his hot seed fill me up. Soon I collapse on my bed “what are you doing I’m no where near done yet it’s only 12:50 I’m no where near done breeding that hole of yours yet pretty boy” Toji groans as he flips me on my back and shoved his dick back into my burning hole and starts thrusting again “oh god faasterr~” I moaned out as my dick started to get hard again “such a fucking slut aren’t you baby?” Toji asks as he rams into me over and over again hitting my prostate head on every time “yes yes I’m your slut daddy please fill me with your cum~” I beg the older man as he continues to relentlessly pound my burning hole “I’m close please~” I moaned out while feeling my third orgasm approach “I’m almost there too just hold on baby~” Toji grunted out as he picked the pace up and started fucking me at an inhuman pace, gripping my hips hard enough for bruises and rearranging my guts “I’m cumming~” I shout as my cum shot on toji’s muscular chest “I’m going to breed your hole so full of my cum that you’ll be filled for a week~” Toji groaned with a final thrust, letting his cum fill me up for the second time tonight.
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thesecretwriter · 10 months
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LOVED the fanfic about Miguel. I need one with him being feral at the thought of wife!reader leaving him because he is being neglectful and is almost never home with her. Please, please, pleaseeee. I would love to read this.
P.S add smut if you want to😗
home is where you are (part 1) - miguel o’hara
pairing: miguel o’hara x wife!female reader
warnings: angst – reader tells miguel she needs a break from his absence, fluff – I think is it?? , smut – minors dni. smutty undertones, no smut described but miguel is being suggestive.
summary: in which y/n, wife of Miguel O’hara finds herself spending more time in an empty apartment that in the company of the man she chose to spend the rest of her life with.
word count: 1.4k
a/n: thank you for the request anon, I enjoyed writing it. I didn’t write smut bc the fic was already long and I am a bit tired, butttt maybe a part 2??
minors/ageless blogs dni.
masterlists  
part 1, part 2, part 3
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"I’m home, mi luz,"
The nickname he has reserved for you tugs at your heart. He explained to you that you were the light in the darkness that consumed his heart within the chaos of being Spiderman.
You look in the direction of Miguel's voice and sigh "well, that's a first," you mutter to yourself before getting off the couch walking towards Miguel.
You had spent the whole day rehearsing what you were going to say to Miguel.
You lean against the counter as Miguel leaves the packet with a logo from a Chinese take away not far from your shared apartment.
Miguel approaches you, his eyes dark and intense. His expression is unreadable, but you can feel a sense of discomfort growing within you.
"Did you miss me mi corazón?" he asks in a low voice, his eyes scanning your body as he comes closer to you.
"Well, for me to answer that question you would have to be around enough for me to miss you. So, no I did not miss you," you say, upset that he had the audacity to question if you miss him when he is not even at home most of the time.
You stay where you are leaning against the counter with your arms folded. Miguel takes this as an opportunity to cage you between his arms as he towers over you.
His eyes are fixed on you. He leans forward till he is a few centimetres away from you.
"You know that's not true mi luz. You miss me. And I miss you too, baby. I've been thinking a lot about you all day." he says, his tone suggestive and a glint of desire in his eyes.
"If you were thinking of me so much, then maybe you would be home more often. I've been wanting to talk to you about something..." you trail off nervous and avoiding eye contact with him. Miguel picks up the change of your attitude and tilts his head to the side in curiosity.
Any other day you would think that it was adorable of him to do such a thing, but now it ticked you off that he was so oblivious.
Miguel notices your nervousness and his expression turns serious. "What is it? What do you want to talk about, y/n?" he asks, his voice firm. The use of your first name is your first warning of Miguel being serious.
He is still leaning in close to you, however, you can now tell that he is tense from your nervousness.
"I want to take some time off... from us," you blurt out, wanting to get this conversation over with. Miguel takes in your words.
You want to take a break from him? the one who has the weight of the world on his shoulders. His brows furrow in confusion, but also anger.
Miguel moves closer to you, his body now pressed against yours. He leans in close to your ear, his breath hot against your skin.
"Why would you want to do that, mi vida? Don't you know how much I love you?" he whispers, his lips dangerously close to your skin.
His taunting is what gets to you. Here you are trying to tell him what you needed, and he is retaliating by trying to seduce you.
"I don't feel your love anymore Miguel. You're barely home. I wake up, you're not here. I go to sleep, you're not here. Sometimes you even leave in the middle of night when I'm asleep. I understand that the spider society is important to you, but once upon a time so was this relationship. I cannot keep living like this by having moments with you." you say, getting angrier as you speak.
Miguel notices the unshed tears in your eyes.
Miguel's expression softens for a moment as he looks into your eyes, seeing the pain and tears hidden behind them.
He knows he's been distant lately, but that's all because he's been putting in more time fighting crime around the city as Spiderman and travelling to other dimensions to help other Spider-Man/women.
"I'm sorry, mi luz. I promise to make it up to you. I'll take some time off, for just the two of us." he says, his voice sincere as he tries to reason with you.
"And then what? while we're spending time together, you'll get called into HQ and will leave me alone. It’s happened before Miguel. I already packed enough clothes for me to spend a week with at a friend’s house," You put your hands on his chest to push him away and go to get your phone to call your friend to pick you up.
Miguel feels his chest tighten at the thought of having you away from him. You're slipping through his fingers, and he must do something about it before he loses you completely.
Miguel takes a step forward, blocking your path to the phone. His eyes flash with anger.
"You're not going anywhere, y/n. You're delusional if you think I'm just going to sit back and let you leave me. We're married, you made a vow to me. Do you know how hard I've been working to protect this city and the people in it? Do you have any idea how much pressure I'm under?" he says, his voice rising in frustration.
Before you can respond, he grabs your wrist and pulls you towards him. He presses himself against you, his hands roaming over your body as he begins to kiss you. You try to resist and push him away, but he's too strong. He continues to kiss you until you finally give in, allowing him to lead you to the bedroom.
You pour all your emotion into the kiss, letting him feel the heartbreak and anguish you have every time he forgets about you.
You're too consumed in the kiss to notice that Miguel is already beginning to take off his clothes. He breaks the kiss to take of your shirt and you see that as an opportunity to interrupt him.
"Miguel stop, not everything can be fixed with-" his lips stop you from speaking as he goes back to kissing you. All you're left in is your bra and panties, which Miguel still feels is too much of clothing.
You feel his lips trailing kisses down your neck as his palms knead at your breasts. His talons poking you ever so lightly, but it’s nothing you haven't felt before.
Your moans only urge Miguel on. He thinks back to the moment he saw the unshed tears in your eyes, the moment you almost left him.
Soon, he comes to the revelation that the only way to keep you here, with him - is to breed you.
It's something you and him have previously discussed. However, with him being away so much, it slipped his mind how he wanted nothing more than to watch you bare his child.
Miguel continues to kiss you passionately, his touch becoming rougher as he begins to undress you completely. He pins you down on the bed, his muscles exposed in the dimly lit room. You can see the taut muscles in his arms as he looms over you.
"Don't fight it, mi luz. I'm giving you what you've always wanted from me," he says, his voice low and husky.
Miguel continues to hold you down and have his way with you. You can't bring yourself to fight resist him anymore, your lips move with his and you feel the spark that is always present within you when Miguel kisses you.
For a moment, you see a glimpse of the caring and loving man you married. He is still there, underneath all the coldness that has consumed him.
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mellowswriting · 4 months
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Hiiii! First of all let me tell you that i love all your Javier Peña fics omg you keep us the Javi girlies fed!!!!
And second! I saw that your requests were open and i had to come here! would you ever consider writing something about Javi being possesive bc some guy’s flirting with reader but she doesn’t realize until much late and he gets jealous and overall breeding kink bc he wants to make her all his and put a baby in her so everyone knows who she belongs to!
his girl
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pairing || Javier Peña x fem!Reader
word count || 3.6k
summary || There's a possessiveness that strikes a man once he finally has everything he's ever wanted. Javier soothes that animal feeling by marking you - his ring on your finger, his initial hanging at your throat, his marks sucked into your skin. But lately, it just isn't enough. Luckily, he has the perfect plan. He's putting a baby in your belly.
content || SMUT, jealousy, possessiveness, explicit breeding kink, oral sex (f receiving), multiple orgasms (f receiving), dirty talk, rough sex/manhandling, aftercare, praise, massages, husband!Javi being an absolute menace, unbeta'd and unedited (written largely while having covid, so bear with me babes)
a/n || has this sat in my inbox for a humiliating amount of time? yes. did I have a blast finally writing it? absolutely. I am forever and ever in love with husband!Javi
Javier Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Library Blog
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Javier loves watching you. He has from the very beginning, long before he could even call you his. From the very moment you started occupying the desk across from him, he has loathed taking his eyes off of you. He took note of the little things. The way you threw your head back and laughed at Murphy’s awful jokes. The furrow of your brow as you read over a file. The smile you flashed him when your eyes locked from across the room. You consumed him right from the start. Those glimpses grew more personal as he gravitated toward you, unable to resist the pull of that warm smile and the spitfire burning in your blood. The grumpy expression you wear in those first weary moments after waking. The dramatic glance you give him when you overhear a couple arguing in the grocery store. The feeling of your weight sinking into him as you fall asleep in the bed you share.
No matter how much time passes, he still finds himself enamored by the very sight of you. A glass of whiskey sweats on the table in front of him, relatively untouched. He’s too busy eying you from across the bar to bother with it. You look so beautiful in the low light, chatting and smiling with your girls as you wait for the bartender. He can’t even guess the number of times he’s seen you in this bar, wearing that pretty little dress, but it doesn’t matter. You catch his eye every time.
There’s only one problem. He isn’t the only one looking.
Possessiveness comes naturally to a man who finally has everything he wants. It flares in his chest, hot and untamed, as a man settles against the bar beside you. The man says something to catch your attention and leans closer with a flirtatious smile - and Javier has to bite back the urge to rip his throat out. The man must be oblivious to the ring on your finger and the ‘J’ hanging from the thin gold chain around your neck. Or maybe he just doesn’t care. Javier grits his teeth and tries to be patient.
He lasts less than five minutes.
Your eyes light up when you spot him shouldering his way through the crowd. The urge to kiss that dazzling smile off your lips is irresistible. His name just barely leaves you before his hands find the familiar curve of your waist and tug you close. He kisses you, softly at first. His hand cradles your jaw and you melt into him, your fingers wrapped loosely around his wrist. Your breathing stutters in your chest. Javier swears he gets high off the ease with which you sway for him.
The parting of your lips is an invitation he takes without hesitation. You tug him closer by the front of his shirt as he deepens the kiss. The way you cling to him sends a thrill of arousal through him. He can’t help but tighten his grip at your waist, pinning you back against the bartop just slightly. Javier eagerly drinks in the little moan he pulls from you. Fuck, he knows he has to stop before he bends you right over this damn bartop. He gives you one last kiss, short and sweet, before he reluctantly pulls away. You look up at him with those bright eyes and a tipsy little smile.
He gives your waist a little squeeze. “So, who’s your new friend?”
“Huh…? Oh!” You brush off the haziness with a little shake of your head. “This is… um, James! He’s Maria’s brother.”
“Nice to meet you.” Javier curls a covetous arm around your waist and holds you close. He offers his other hand to James and when the man shakes it, he makes sure to squeeze. Hard. He tries not to look too proud of himself. A song comes across the bar’s speakers, something familiar with a good beat. “Well, I hate to cut this short but my wife looks like she needs a dance.”
James is smart enough to take the hint and get the hell out of there.
You let out a knowing laugh as Javier tugs you into the crowd. “What was that about?”
“I need an excuse to dance with my girl?” He asks, the picture of innocence.
It doesn’t take long for you to forget the whole thing once he gets his hands on you. Javier can feel the shift in your energy. Every gentle, lingering touch only makes you melt into him more. You lean back into his chest, your head resting against his shoulder. He can smell your shampoo and perfume, and the feeling of your hips swaying against him makes his cock twitch.
Your dress twists in his greedy grip as he shamelessly gropes your ass and your drunken giggle is music to his ears. He has to force himself not to be too rough. The soft, lacey fabric falls delicately at your waist, all flowy and beautiful. He loves this dress on you - and so does every other man in this bar. Javier spots James watching the two of you from across the room and that familiar need to stake his claim flares.
His hand drifts up from your waist to your chest and his fingers trace the little gold ‘J’ that hangs there before going higher. His fingers wrap around your throat and you don’t even open your eyes. Your trust is so painfully clear and it makes his cock even harder. He tilts your head to the side, plants a hot kiss against your pulse point, and you melt even more for him. James averts his gaze, his cheeks bright red.
Pride and possessiveness vie for control, an unwinnable fight between his love of showing you off and the unbearable need for everyone to know exactly who you belong to. The ring on your finger, his initial at your neck - it just isn’t enough.
The idea takes root before his rational mind can stop it. Instinct and pure possessiveness blend into one rabid, desperate need: he needs to knock you up. The mere image is enough to have him grinding his cock against your ass without shame. Your belly swelling with the baby he planted there. The flowy fabric of this dress stretching over your stomach until it doesn’t fit. Huddling up with you in those tiny dressing rooms as you try on new clothes. His baby on your hip and another growing in your belly. The undeniable proof of who exactly you belong to - his wife, the mother of his children. His, his his.
“Every man in this bar has been eying you up all night,” Javier grumbles.
“Ah, that’s what this is about…” You say indulgently. “Feeling jealous?”
“They think they have a chance if I’m not glued to your side. That pretty ring on your finger is just a challenge to them.” The annoyance rings clear in his voice. You turn around in his arms, a teasing smile on your pretty face. He knows just how much you love it when he gets like this. His arms tighten around you. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll make sure they know you belong to me.”
“Oh?” You raise your eyebrows. “And how are you doing that?”
Javier tightens his arms around you until your chest is flush with his. The smirk fades from your face, quickly replaced with something softer, more curious. He leans closer until his lips brush your ear, his voice low and dripping with sin. “I’m gonna take you home and put a baby in your belly.”
He watches the realization wash over you - the way your breath catches and your eyes go all wide. The buttons of his shirt twist in your hand where you cling to him. Your eyes flick back and forth as you study his face, obviously trying to gauge his seriousness. There isn’t a hint of humor or halfheartedness to be found.
“Fuck… I- really? Are you serious?” You whisper. Anticipation curls tight in his belly. Javier grabs your jaw, his touch gentle as he keeps your attention solely on him.
“Not letting you out of that bed ‘til I knock you up.” He murmurs as his thumb traces the line of your bottom lip. You draw in a shuddering breath, your pupils blown out as you look up at him with an expression he knows all too well. All tender, lush with softness and submission. “Everyone will know exactly who you fuckin’ belong to with my baby growing in your belly.”
Your eyes flutter shut, a vain attempt to steady yourself. “Javi…”
“Yeah?” He whispers. “What do you think?”
“I think…” You lock eyes with his. “I think you need to take me home. Now.”
A thrill surges through him. He couldn’t get you out of there faster, even if he tried.
The front door barely closes before you kick off your heels and take off toward the bedroom. Adrenaline rushes through you at the sound of Javier hot on your tail. Your laughter echoes through the hall as he chases you down. The bedroom is just in your sight when you feel his arms wrap around your waist and he yanks you up off of your feet - just to prove that he can. Picture frames rattle against the wall where he pushes you up against it. He shoves his thigh between your legs and the pressure against your aching cunt sends pleasure arcing up your spine. The kiss he gives you is hot and frenzied, searing pure desire into your skin.
You don’t hesitate to grab a handful of his hair, which has finally grown out enough to show off those pretty curls you adore. Javier moans and that deep, rich rumble sends you into overdrive. You grind against his thigh, the thin cotton of your underwear all that separates you from the friction you truly crave. A sharp nip of his teeth against your lower lip makes you gasp but he soothes you with a skillful swipe of his tongue.
He breaks the kiss, only to gift his attention to the long line of your throat. The blunt edge of his teeth digs into the place where your neck and shoulder meet. You know there will be a mess of marks all over your skin at this rate, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. Not when you know that you will bear an indisputable mark of his claim soon enough. Heat courses through you at the thought. Javier finally relents and leans back to take in his handiwork, seeming satisfied with the latest hickey on your throat. Your hand absentmindedly strokes the mark he just left and his eyes track the movement, a smirk growing on his handsome face.
“Don’t worry, baby.” He murmurs. “I’m only getting started.”
The grip he has on your waist is bruising as he walks you back toward the bed. You let yourself get lost in the way he manhandles you onto the bed, your thighs spread to welcome his body between them. The image of him standing over you is breathtaking - the fire burning in his eyes, the kiss-bitten quality to his lips, the flush that has overtaken his neck and chest. You don’t get long to admire him before he falls to his knees and pushes the skirt of your dress up to your waist. He yanks you closer to the edge of the mattress and a startled sound comes from you - but it melts away into a moan as he tongues your cunt over your soaked panties.
“Fuck,” You sigh, your hand snaking down to bury in his hair. Instinct drives your hips to buck up into that sinful mouth and Javier rewards you with an eager groan. The telltale pop of seams meets your ears a mere millisecond before your husband tears through the lace underwear you wore just for him. You gasp, your fingers tightening in his hair. “What the fuck are you - oh, fuck.”
“Gotta get you nice and ready for my cock, amor.” He murmurs.
The wet heat of his mouth against your bare cunt steals the fight right out from under you. He doesn’t falter as your thighs wrap around his head - in fact, it only encourages him. He eats you out like a man starved, like your dripping cunt is the only sustenance he could ever need. If you weren’t so strung out on pleasure, you would be embarrassed by the sounds he pulls from your body - wet, desperate, filthy sounds. His tongue circles over your clit in steady strokes that have you shivering with white-hot pleasure.
You can’t resist the temptation to look at him. Those dark eyes gleam at you from between your thighs, feverish with lust. Two thick fingers slip inside you and hook upwards, finding that sweet spot with practiced ease. A violent shudder rocks through your body as he drives you closer and closer to that edge. He needs it almost as much as you do - you know just from the glint in his eyes. Pure hunger, pure devotion. He moans in encouragement as you grind into his touch, easily rocking in sync with your movements. You can practically read the words running through his head.
C’mon, sweet thing. Let go. Come for me.
That ever-tightening coil in your belly finally snaps. Every nerve ending lights up with the pleasure that surges through you, leaving you a trembling, whining mess beneath him. Little sparks flicker through your core with every lingering caress of his fingers and lick of his tongue. It isn’t until you push his head away that he finally relents. You sink into the shivery haze of it all, the weightless, floating feeling he always brings out in you. Bliss surrounds you in every gentle stroke of his fingers and sweet praise that leaves his lips.
Javier’s hands deftly unzip the back of your dress and slip it from your body, your bra quickly following it onto the floor. You shiver at the chill of the air against your sweat-slick skin, but he’s quick to remedy that. You swear your husband burns hotter than a damn furnace, but you welcome the heat of his bare skin against yours. He showers you with attention as you come down. Messy kisses leave wet marks along your chest and throat. His warm hands wander and squeeze at your thighs and waist - any soft, supple flesh he can get his greedy hands on.
His fingers nudge your jaw up and he captures your lips in a lazy kiss, all tongue and sweetness. It’s too easy to get lost in the heat of it - the easy caress of his tongue, the grip of his fingers holding you right where he wants you, the rough brush of his stubble. He steals the breath from your lungs and breathes life back into you in the same second. Intoxicating - that’s the only way you can describe the attention he gives you. Need still thrums through you, even with the sensitivity still pulsing through your body.
Javier groans as you pull his body flush against yours, the heavy weight of his cock resting between your thighs. He pulls back and takes in the sight of his cock gliding along your slick cunt. He’s transfixed as he slowly thrusts against you, those big hands palming your ass eagerly. The head of his cock nudges your clit and you whine, your body jerking with the overstimulation.
“Shh, I got you, baby,” He murmurs, his voice low and rough with lust. Anticipation sings in your veins, only to be dashed as he keeps rocking his hips at a devastatingly slow pace. Your voice breaks around his name, every ounce of need bled into your tone, but Javier just smirks down at you. He squeezes the soft flesh of your thighs. “Use your words, baby.”
“Fuck, please” Heat rushes to your cheeks and floods your core at his teasing words. Javier shakes his head and tuts at you, unmoving in his ploy to get exactly what he wants. Your teeth tug at the soft pillow of your bottom lip before soothing the mark with a careful swipe of your tongue. His gaze follows the movement, his own lips parting as he takes you in. You take advantage of the distraction with ease. Those deep eyes flit back to your own as your fingers brush his cheek. The touch draws him closer, his nose nearly brushing yours.
“Put a baby in me. Let me make you a daddy.”
An animalistic sound leaves Javier’s chest, something rough and feral and promising. Javier sinks into the slick heat of your cunt in one easy thrust, not stopping until his cock presses snugly against your cervix. It damn near drives you crazy - the stretch, the stimulation, the pleasure-pain of almost too much. Your hips jerk, your body instinctively pulling away from the overstimulation.
“Where do you think you’re going, huh?” Javier grits out as his hands take a firm grip on your waist, holding you in place as he presses even deeper. The whine that leaves you feels pathetic but you can’t help it. Not when he’s so fucking deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach. “No running, mama. You’re gettin’ what you begged for.”
The words that hang at the tip of your tongue disappear as he pulls back a few inches only to fill you all over again. Your nails find purchase in the taut muscle of his shoulders as he sets a devastatingly languid pace. He retreats just enough for you to feel the loss before he sinks as deep as your body can take him. Every thrust forces a broken sound from your lips, sounds that only encourage him to take you apart piece by piece.
Pleasure scorches your belly, reignited into an uncontrollable blaze under your husband’s tender hands. It hurts so good - you can’t help but cling to him and roll your hips in time with his. You meet him touch for touch. He pushes, you pull. He gives, you take - and take and take and take. It only fuels his need to take you apart that much more. His hands slip to the small of your back and curve your ass up at that perfect angle to make you see stars.
“Too much, too much - fuck, Javi!” You babble through the onslaught.
“It’s not enough, baby,” Javier whispers. The wet heat of his mouth against your ear makes you shiver. “Can never get enough of you.”
The hard edge of his pelvis grinds against your sensitive clit and your body jolts under the rush of pleasure. Your body fights it, fights him, but your squirming is something he handles all too well. He pins you into the sheets with his weight, his thrusts devolving into sharp grinds that make you cry out beneath him. He can feel it in every pulse of your cunt.
“That’s it,” The low growl in his voice makes you tremble. “Come for me, little mama.”
Your eyes roll and your vision whites out as a second orgasm crashes over your body. It feels like something breaks - something gushing and hot and wet. You can hear the soft sounds of praise somewhere underneath the blood rushing in your ears. It isn’t until your double vision finally comes back together that you feel it - every hot pulse of his cock inside of you, intensified by the way your cunt milks him for every last drop.
You welcome the full weight of his body sinking into you. Javier buries his face in your neck with a soft grunt. Goosebumps follow every sloppy kiss he presses there, praise murmured between every pass of his lips. You don’t know just how long you lay there soaking it in but soon enough, the ache in your hips interrupts the bliss.
“Javi,” You nudge his hip with your knee but he doesn’t budge. “Javi,”
“Mm,” He grunts as he cranes his head back to take a look at you.
“M’ sore, baby. Gotta get up.” You murmur.
Javier drags himself off of you with a groan and before you can do more than flex your legs, he maneuvers you up onto the bed. You can’t help but chuckle as he gets you settled against the mountain of fluffy pillows and immediately crowds against you once more. You cradle his face in your hands and draw him closer, your nose brushing his. His lips part in a quiet sigh as his gaze flits over your face. A tender, aching devotion lays bare on his own. You can see it all - the pride, the wonder, the love. You card your fingers through his hair, pushing the dark, overgrown curls away from his pretty face. Javier kisses you soft and slow, a low hum of happiness rumbling through him.
Something warm and happy settles in your chest as he eases you onto your stomach and sets to work rubbing your shoulders and back. His thumbs dig into every knot he comes across, working you into a melted mess of happiness. He’s so good at taking care of you, your lovely husband. So thorough, so attentive. For the millionth time, you’re struck by how lucky you are. You couldn’t imagine a better man to raise a family with.
“You’re going to be such an amazing dad, sweetheart.” You murmur drowsily. His hands pause where they were working at a particularly stubborn knot in your lower back. A deep breath shudders through him and suddenly, he’s straddling your thighs. His cock twitches against your ass and you wiggle against him despite your exhaustion. You can’t help but tease him. “Already, Javi? I don’t know…”
“Shh, just one more…” He murmurs, his voice dark and lusty as he manhandles you onto your stomach. He squeezes your thighs and moans low in his chest. “Let me do all the work, honey. Just one more and it’ll take, I know it…”
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seekingflowers · 1 month
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Future Husband Pick a Card (1-3)
I'm sure you all know how it works! Just relax and let your intuition guide you to choose your pile 🌕. Take what resonates and leave the rest. I am very honest and will not sugar coat what I see. Please don't hesitate to tell me what resonated with you! I welcome all to interact 🤝
Hello everyone! Welcome to my tarot blog. This is my first post ever, and a pick a card reading (1, 2, 3- cards) 🥰😍🥀
Pile 1:
Page of Wands
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- First and foremost, it COULD indicate he's younger- if not, he may seem younger with his demeanor. More than likely, he may have approached you first. He'll be the first you one hear when you walk into a room.
In the beginning stages, this person will feel like a breath of fresh air. They are lively and outgoing. Always inviting you to join them on outings with friends or see and experience new places.
They are very social and ready to be on the go-go go. If you're not, it doesn't matter. They'll go because they're ready. Decisive and quick. However, it may not always be thought out. This person tends to be optimistic and may seem naive, but do not berate them. Sharp and witty, they stand their ground. They do not like to be held back and smothered. They seek fun and spontaneity, keep them on their toes. At times, you may feel like this man flakes out on you because he is so quick to do other things or entertain himself with others. He may forget things easily, such as planned dates or activities, anniversaries, or make sudden changes.
Their curiosity and openess will show you how to appreciate the moment and accept changes. It's okay to experience new things. If something is wrong, they will confront you, and they will expect the same from you. Be open and honest, and communicate with patience. They're not afraid to voice their opinion and say it how they see it. Friends and family love and adore their presence, which brings warmth and laughs all around.
Please remember, we all change with time, and some things may remain, but nothing lasts forever. Take what resonates and leave the rest.
Pile 2:
King of Wands Reversed.
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- He's definitely the one to approach you. Could be someone older or someone in an authority position.
This man may appear aggressive, often displaying signs of frustration or impatience. Can be very controlling and dominant overall. He has natural charisma and a fiery intellect, making it difficult to get a word in with him. Stubborn and hot-headed, he will likely dislike opposing views or opinions. People's views of him are black and white. Few understand him. There could be a problem with respecting those above him or taking consideration from others in general. There are few to maybe none that he cares for, but if he does care, he is fiercely protective over them and will come to their side to defend them. Even blindly.
About action, he's the one to get it done and have a go get it now attitude. Either do it or don't. Prone to impulsiveness and hypocrisy, his actions may bring upon consequences he isn't ready to handle and will break down in a tantrum.
Not afraid to approach others, he is relentless with his pursuits. On the good days, his humor and smiles are a sight to see and hear. Captivating and charming, people are drawn to him or are intimidated by him. His humor isn't everyone's cup of tea. It may be crude.
Highly competitive, spats between him and others are frequent. He hates losing and hates being wrong.
To be with this man, thick skin is needed along with groundedness. With you, he can be very loving, but ill tempered and stubborn.
He's very likely a traditional man who wants a traditional wife and family with him as head of the household. Although earlier in life, he may have had a desire of the opposite for the short term.
Please note that the future is not set in stone. Take what resonates and leave the rest.
Pile 3:
Ace of Cups
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- This man off the bat is an emotionally intuitive man. More likely to be reserved with his words, but expressive with his love and affections. Expressive eyes with intent prying into your soul. He enjoys private moments with you and goes out of his way to get you alone. It may seem unintentional, but it's not. It may be a love at first sight, or rather, when they fall in love- they fall hard.
There could be this feeling of a deep connection between the two of you that feels familiar yet so foreign. However, do not drown with the feeling. Learn to swim with it, or it will create false imaginations of the other person. You open up this person's inner world, and they want to pour into your cup endlessly. Sometimes, feelings can become intense, and a struggle to sort through emotions with each other can be difficult. Therefore, there can be spurts of emotional outbursts. Clear communication is very important with this man.
Being one to love deeply, he can hold a grudge and keep score of what wrong he thinks you've done to him. He might think he loves you more than you love him. This man wants you to be open with your love and reciprocate his feelings with the same intensity. When you are in an emotional frenzy from work or a bad day, he's the one to comfort and feel you. He'd go out of his way to make you feel better. If he can't, he will beat himself up for it. People close to him are few, even if it seems like there is a whole crowd around him. He's the go-to therapist or listener for folks, and it may get to him from time to time, so please allow him some space when needed.
Some days, he may seem hot and cold, but that's just likely because he isn't feeling anything that particular day or hour. Or he is in his head thinking about anything. As all humans do.
Love each other truly and not just love itself. It is easy to get lost in love and forget the person. Take what resonates and leave the rest.
Please remember, take what resonates, and leave the rest. One card does not describe everything about a person, and it is not the end all be all. Nothing is set in stone. People change - we all change.
Once again, please let me know what resonates and tell me what'd you like to see from me. 💫
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pedgito · 5 months
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𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐒 ╳ SERIES MASTERLIST
Chapter Two: Chivalry, Secrets & Hot Tubs (Week One)
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[strangers to friends to lovers, age gap (56/mid 20s), forced proximity, no outbreak]
(Series) Content Warning: a very, very lonely joel miller. copious amounts of lusting, tension, joel is an excellent cook (food, alcohol, ect), hot tubs, impromptu snowball fights, awkward situations, deep talks and tragic backstories (specified within chapter warnings, deeply depraved smut/sexcapades and the inappropriate use of a dining table (also specified within chapter warnings), nicknames of endearment (no use of y/n)
quick note: i love all the reblogs/feedback and that you're all enjoying this as much as i am <3 and a huge thank you to @swiftispunk for being the best and looking over the first chapter for me, i am completely scatter-brained and forgot to mention this when i posted last monday, so tysm han and pls go check her out if you haven't! & follow my fic update blog (@pedgitos) and turn on post notifications so you don't miss any updates/posted fics!
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Chapter Summary: Settling in is easier than you expect, but it does come with a fair share of challenges. A week filled with getting to know one another and some moments shared, your week doesn't end on the best note, leaving you with a choice.
Chapter Warnings: (8k) no outbreak, grumpy!Joel, domestic shenanigans, Joel being naturally assertive, cooking dinner together, reading is good at encouraging Joel, one hot tub & two stubborn individuals, also...one bed trope incoming
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You wake up refreshed, like you’ve been born with a new reverence for life—alright, it might be a bit of an overstatement but it’s a wonder what a decent night of sleep could do and you’re feeling that this idea, playing house with a stranger—though it wasn’t much like that anymore—wasn’t the worst choice. And it reminds you of Joel, having left him in the chair last night, not wanting to burden him but you can only imagine the ache in his bones, his back, the discomfort of sleeping in a chair all night. 
You lay for a moment, bleary eyes adjusting to the early morning light. The morning sunshine wasn’t strong here, blanketed out by a stark white snow that covered the ground, it muted out most colors and left a cool, but bright blue that shined through the window above your bed. 
It was peaceful. No cars, no buzz of strong electricity outside your window, people and their idle conversation a few floors down from your apartment window. Not even a bird, really. But, there’s a distinct clearing of a throat from the living room that has you stirring in bed, rising lazily as you move with the same enthusiasm. 
It was a fresh week. The first official week of your vacation and you were going to start it off on a good note, clambering out of the bed and slipping on a pair of fluffy slippers to keep your toes from freezing off, not bothering to glance in a mirror on the way out—not that you needed to, it didn’t matter. It was early, you were still trying to shed the sleep from your body and you could care less. Plus, it wasn’t like an old t-shirt and sleep shorts was some foreign concept. 
When you peek around the corner, arms crossed tightly over your chest, you can spot Joel’s head tilting to one side, hand kneading at the taut muscle in the center of his back where his neck starts to begin and then you’re stuck watching as he stretches his arms out wide, working out all of those muscles. Every single one. And you’ve been silent for far too long.
Yeah.
Clearing your throat softly, you approach from behind and keep your distance, announcing your presence like you hadn’t been lingering for a minute or two already. 
“Morning,” You greet politely, resting your weight against the edge of the island, taking in full view of a freshly awoken Joel, eyes still puffy from sleep.
He looks very…gentle. Surprisingly, so. It softens his rigid demeanor significantly and you have to silently talk yourself out of glaring at him for too long, “I didn’t want to wake you—I’m so sorry.”
Jeez—you two are getting good at that. Apologizing, afraid to step on each other’s toes. 
“Not your fault,” Joel massages his bicep with the heavy pressure of his thumb, looking slightly pained as he rolls his shoulders, “I didn’t realize how tired I was.”
“Yeah, but I forced you to stay up, so—”
“You didn’t,” Joel quickly shuts you down, “I’m a grown man,” there’s a laugh hidden somewhere in there, but Joel continues, “don’t blame yourself for my own irresponsibility.”
It’s too early for this. You force on a fake smile, void of any real emotion at this hour, running on fumes and the smell of coffee. Speaking of—you sniff, eyes searching for the smell like a dog would track a scent, and Joel is already pointing in the direction you should be looking for when your eyes land on him.
“I already finished it off on my own,” Joel admits, pointedly taking another long sip before resting the mug back on the counter, “I can get another pot goin’ if you need it.”
There’s an inclination to let him, seeing him assert himself so easily and offer, but you shake your head, “I think I can handle a coffee maker,” You assure him, meandering around the kitchen in search of the coffee grounds, ignoring Joel’s tracking of your movements, waiting for a moment to interject and point you in the right direction. You spot them a moment before the urge comes with a soft aha!
“I needed to make a drive into town,” Joel tells you after you’ve gone through the steps of starting your own batch of coffee, “pick up some more food, figured you might wanna tag along.”
He’s not asking, only assuming. But to be fair, his assumption is right. 
“Sure,” You reply cooly, pouring yourself a hefty cup of coffee to sip on, letting your body take hold of the caffeine, “...how far away is the closest town?”
“Hour and a half.” Joel answers and you almost have the nerve to go wide-eyed on him, but then you remember just how deep into the woods you both were and that it was necessary.
Truthfully, there was a more concerning matter at hand.
“How’s your music taste?” 
Joel has the gall to look offended by the question.
“I’m leavin’ in thirty,” Joel ignores you, “don’t think I won’t hesitate to leave you here.”
Okay, noted: Joel wasn’t much the morning person you assumed he was.
-
Joel immediately realizes how little disregard you have for touching things that aren’t yours when you reach for the makeshift box of cassettes tapes placed in the backseat of his truck—the thing was old, riding on it’s last leg, but it was something Joel would cherish until it was unsalvageable, torn seats, dents, and all.
“Ain’t gonna find anything you like in there,” Joel assures you, “None of that pop stuff they’re always playin’ on the radio these days.”
The tables turn on him suddenly, seeing your face contort into a similar emotion that he gave you earlier. Bewilderment, shock, annoyance. You scoff at the comment.
“Says you,” You retort back, sifting through the different cassettes until you find Joel trading glances between you and the road in front of him, almost worried you might chuck his collection out of the passenger side window, “Joel, eyes on the road.”
Joel enjoys a lot of country, which isn’t a total disbelief. But, it wasn’t something you shared the sentiment on, flicking away a handful of country artists you’ve never listened to and reaching some of the good stuff—older rock music, some classic 80s, and late 90s.
You pluck one out carefully, prying open the cassette case with gentle hands before sliding the tape in, allowing the low hum of the music to fill the car. There’s a brief moment of respite before Joel smirks to himself, thumb tapping against the steering wheel.
“What were you saying?” You look at him pointedly, shifting slightly in your seat.
Joel looks away briefly, biting back a chuckle, “Fine—I’ll give you some credit. Foo Fighters aren’t terrible, but you skipped right over Bruce Springsteen, so…”
You scoff in disbelief, “You don’t get to criticize me with that atrocious collection of country music,” You stare down at the box in thought, eyes brimming with a mischievous that Joel knows of immediately, he’s seen it before. Not with you, but he knows, “you know, maybe I should just do you a favor and—”
You can barely get a hand on the window roller before Joel’s hand is gripped tight over the box, trapping your other hand in his grip as he warns, “I’m not above leavin’ you stranded in the cold.”
Your grin is nothing but evil and Joel finds that there’s something about you that infuriates him in a way that is hard to describe, not in anger or rage, but a level that he thinks he could match. A game of back and forth that he could play into—but you’re quickly relenting regardless of the threat and placing the box on the floorboard.
“Already tried that,” You retort, “didn’t work too well for you, did it?”
Fair is fair. Joel doesn’t poke the beast.
Instead, he takes the chance to ask a question.
“So, what exactly was your plan?” Joel asks curiously. “You comin’ out here with no car and all?”
You shrug nonchalantly, “Didn’t really have one, but I would have figured it out.”
Joel shakes his head dismissively, subtly resembling a face of disapproval.
“Hey, you don’t get to judge me, okay?” You don’t wait for a response, “You can have whatever assumptions you want about me, but don’t try and act like you know anything about me.”
It was another reminder. Joel didn’t know you, but you didn’t know him either. You reign your frustration in slightly, quick to defend yourself but aware that not everyone handles confrontation in the same way—if Joel was quick to anger, you didn’t want to stoke the fire. 
“I’m not,” Joel argues, his voice calmer than you expect, thinking back to the saddled rage his voice held the night you arrived, the threat that lingered with every word, “I’m not, alright?”
“Then stop that.” You comment, waving your hand in a vague motion toward his face, “Stop looking at me like—”
“Like what?” Joel interjects, eyes more pensive as he looks over at you.
“Like—like I need a fucking lecture on life or my choices,” You tell him, a hint of pleading in your voice, “I’m not some kid who doesn’t understand how life works.”
“You’re not a kid—” 
“Good, great that we established that,” You lean back in the seat more comfortably, arms crossed over your chest as you keep your eyes on the snow covered road, “now shut up so I can enjoy the music.”
Thankfully, Joel does just that.
-
Conversation falls flat until you arrive at the store in town a while later, Joel fetching a cart and pushing it your way before he stops you suddenly, hand over your own again—a touch that normally you would flinch away from, but he’s already done it once before and the thought doesn’t even cross your mind.
“I’ll catch up,” Joel tells you, “I forgot somethin’ in the car.”
You glance back briefly, knowing that the walk isn’t that far. 
“Oh, I can wait. It’s fine.”
Joel doesn’t say so much, but the look in his eyes goes a long way. A silent plea for you to go with it and don’t ask questions—again, you didn’t have any right to. You nod quickly and wander off toward the store as Joel trails away.
It’s then when your phone starts to vibrate away in your pocket, the sudden availability of service sending a barrage of notifications your way—you’re terrified to take a glimpse, but you do anyway. It should be no surprise to bear witness to the many, many texts from your mother wondering where you’d run off to, but there’s a tinge of guilt settling in your stomach.
You send her a quick, dismissive text to explain that you were fine and enjoying your time, but no elaboration on the things she wanted to know, because really, there was nothing to tell. And if you did decide to expel the details of your trip, mentioning that there was no boyfriend and it was just a stranger you met in the middle of the woods, well…that wouldn’t go over smoothly.
You also find a quick, heated moment of frustration to send an unpleasant text to the owners of the cabin, still polite enough that it wouldn’t warrant your ability to work things out—and you decide that calling would reach them faster, that somehow they’d magically find a way to appear and fix things, but there’s no answer. Only a voicemail that gave vague details about being away on their own vacation.
Just your luck.
Great. You sigh deeply, shoving the phone away into your pocket and returning to the land of obliviousness as you step inside the small market.
You fend for yourself for a while, throwing several random necessities in the cart as you go, enough sustenance to spread over four weeks and manage meals the entire trip, also a few more bottles of alcohol don’t hurt, looking for a few hard liquors that catch your eye and adding them to the growing supply of items. 
You’re lost in concentration of the ingredients on the back of a box dinner when Joel’s voice startles you back to the real world, eyes jumping up to look at him and he spots the panic immediately.
He nods slightly when you recognize him, “Sorry, keep forgettin’ how jumpy you are.”
“You’re just ridiculously fucking quiet,” You tell him, breathing out a long sigh as you toss the box into the cart, “everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Joel assures, doesn’t elaborate. Okay, cool. You weren’t going to pry, no matter how much your instincts told you to. He scans the cart casually, “Mind tradin’ off?”
You lend him the lead and follow, watching as he pointedly finds things, like he’s reading off a list in his head and moves around the store with a purpose. It’s only slightly annoying that you have to keep pace with him, but he’s suddenly speaking out to you as he’s glancing over something on the bottom shelf, “Are you allergic to anything?”
“No,” You responded, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, “Why?”
“Grab some of that fresh rosemary,” Joel says, pointing out somewhere behind you and you whip around, eyes searching furiously and coming up empty, “—find it?”
You’re a little dumbfounded as you search the shelf of fresh herbs, Joel’s heavy footsteps approaching behind you as he reaches over your shoulder and plucks the exact thing he’s looking for with ease, “Hey, I had the right idea.” You defend, noticing how amused he looked at your befuddlement, “And you didn’t answer my question, either.”
“Well,” He tosses the small, plastic package in the cart, still tucked up at your side and you can feel his body heat, the solid wall of his chest against your shoulder, “don’t like the idea of accidentally killin’ you if I cook something you’re allergic to.”
“Well, what if I’m lying?” You challenge and Joel shoves you aside gently to grab the cart, hands on your shoulder as he shifts you away—and when had things gotten so…touchy?
Truthfully, Joel finds it easier than telling you, noting how quickly you quiet down when he asserts himself and does rather than asks. He knows if it made you uncomfortable you wouldn’t have had a problem speaking up immediately. 
“Look at me,” And there’s a deep timbre to his voice that has your chest sparking like a fire, eyes connecting with Joel’s for longer than you’ve ever allowed and it’s like he sees right through you, but he’s searching for something, “—you’re not lyin’.”
“But, if I was?”
Joel nearly leaves you in the dust, but turns to look at you with a subtle grin.
“Well, now I know you’re not.”
The ride back is easier, much easier—and Joel doesn’t fault you when you fall asleep halfway through, the heat of the car and the low hum of the music like a perfect mix as you curl in on yourself. Joel wakes you with a gentle hand on your shoulder when you finally make it back, allowing you a moment to shake the grogginess away with a word over his shoulder as he opens his door.
“Careful over that patch of ice on your side,” Joel instructs, “gettin’ colder so it’s slicker than it was a couple days ago.”
Careful. You roll your eyes carelessly, nudging the door open with your shoulder and hopping out, boots hitting the hard ground—your first mistake was underestimating the slickness and Joel’s warning, because the moment you take your first step it’s all downhill. Literally.
Luckily though, like a moment of divine faith as you pray that you don’t hit the ground, Joel is right at your back, arms slipping under your own as he plants his feet firmly and catches you. One arm crossing somewhere over your midsection and the other wrapping around your shoulder, a large palm holding you steady as he helps you back to your feet. You can feel him on the brink of making a comment, eyes looking down tenderly into your own—
“Don’t ask.” You warn him bitterly, face scrunched up like a kicked puppy, shrugging him off lazily. Joel doesn’t argue, making sure you’re steady before he allows you himself to fully let go.
Joel shakes his head subtly, a nuisance of his, and rounds the back of the truck to reach for the bagged groceries, “Fine, I’ll just say I told you so then. How’s that?”
Worse. 
-
Joel never asks for help, doesn’t even seem bothered when you stand there aimlessly, watching him stow away the groceries like he already had a game plan and you feel slightly useless, but it does give you a good opportunity to watch without any explicit reason or excuse. 
There’s an obvious purpose to Joel’s movement, clear that he’s used to doing a lot of heavy lifting and keeping up, probably prefers organization over clutter, and has a certain inclination to do things himself, always. And you can’t help the way your gaze clings to his face, noticing something a little off—not good or bad, just slightly different. You hadn’t noticed it this morning, but with the extended amount of time your eyes lingered on him, you realize he’s cleaned up a bit, shaved his beard down to near stubble, a subtle difference…but you notice.
You’re not sure how long you’re stuck in this state, arms resting against the counter as you stood there, practically useless, thinking about what Joel looks like on a regular basis, when he isn’t cooped up in a cabin in the dead of winter. You want to see that side of him, crave it. It’s an insane thought that doesn’t make sense, eyes widening suddenly at the realization of the thought you’re having—
“You still with me?” Joel’s voice calls out in the haze, muffled slightly as you come back into focus, eyes landing on him. “Think I lost you there for a minute.”
“Oh—no. I mean, yeah. I’m still a little tired, I guess.” It’s a bold face lie, but Joel seems to believe you. “Why?”
“I was sayin’ I need to go chop up some wood for the fireplace,” He explains again, “then you went all wide eyed…”
“Oh, okay,” You nod jerkily, “...do you need help?”
Joel immediately declines. No surprise there.
“Why don’t you get some sleep?” Joel suggests, “I can manage just fine on my own.”
Sleep sounds great, but it doesn’t happen. 
You try—you do, but the splitting of wood, the strong crack of the axe catching the wood outside of your bedroom window, it isn’t exactly soothing to the ears. So, you find yourself wandering into the kitchen, peeking between the curtains with a wild curiosity that reminds you of when you were younger and trying to catch a peek of the cute boy next door, a bashfulness replaced with a deep, insatiable hunger that you didn’t know existed until this moment. 
Joel was attractive, you could easily admit that. But, seeing him now, it’s a done deal. There was a deep pit of despair in your mind and you were stuck at the bottom with no way out.
It’s almost abysmal how easy he makes it look, the axe he’d brandish as his weapon of choice against you swung over his shoulders, the unfortunate lack of skin stretching over taut muscles as he went through the motions, covered up by thick layers. But, you get the idea. 
There’s a slight pout forming on your face before you catch yourself.
He slices full power through the wood like it was eager to give way to him. You also find that his face tugs up in a scowl after every swing of the axe, a soft sigh of exerted energy as he tosses the logs to the side and starts up again. You could watch for hours. But, you settle for the few more minutes he spends collecting the wood before you’re scrambling back into your bedroom like you had been there the entire time.
Unfortunately, Joel isn’t oblivious. Still, he spares you the embarrassment. 
There was no reason for him to entertain whatever he thought might be going on. He couldn’t.
-
The next few days are uneventful, though that was to be expected. It allows you time to really settle in, usually curled up on the couch watching the fire crackle away until you thought your eyes might melt away, or reading a book that Joel always seemed to be trying to catch a peek at. There was an innocent curiosity there that you could appreciate.
You also learned that Joel only took his coffee one way, offering up your services to refill his cup while you refilled your own, sugar lingering over the rim and he’s quickly pushing away the small container of crystalized goodness. 
“Joel, come on–” You grimace but relent, placing the cylinder of sugar on the counter.
“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” Is all he offers, almost challenging you to take a sip.
You accept, obviously. But, it isn’t without consequence.
The moment the bitterness hits your tongue you’re scrambling away, forcing the mug into Joel’s waiting hands and spitting out whatever putrid liquid remained in your mouth in the sink.
It’s the first time Joel actually laughs, a full on chuckle that isn’t very receptive on your end.
Joel apologizes with dinner that night, a gesture that wasn’t expected or needed, still you’re thankful nonetheless. But, it offers you the realization of just how good a cook Joel can be.
Steaks grilled to a perfection that only came with repetitive practice and learned techniques, vegetables sautéed and seasoned to an enjoyable level, and a side of pasta that if Joel told you he made from scratch, you would’ve believed wholeheartedly if you hadn’t seen him dump the entire box of pre-made pasta into a pot of boiling water.
You’re halfway through dinner, chewing thoughtfully on a bite when you finally break the long, but comfortable silence that had blanketed over you both.
“So, Joel,” There’s a tone to his name that catches his attention, eyes flicking up to meet yours mid-bite, “what do you do for work?”
At this point, your nosey tendencies take hold.
There’s a scrunch to Joel’s nose before he speaks, almost as if he considered feeding you a lie alongside the beautiful meal he’d made. He settles for a simple answer.
“Uh, carpentry.” Joel tells you after a long pause, “I—build stuff for people, businesses sometimes.”
That explains some of his sturdiness, his practiced strength that came from, probably, years of hard constructive work and building. It also explains why he’s also working away at his hands, rubbing out the stiff joints and knuckles.
“I know what carpentry is, Joel.” You deadpan, but there’s a playfulness lingering in your voice. 
You assume he’s used to explaining himself often, which is why he forces it on you so easily.
“And you?” Joel asks suddenly, “College? You’re about that age, right?”
You snort softly at the tone he offers, slightly patronizing, but all in good fun.
“I’m taking a semester off,” You answer indifferently, remembering how disappointed your parents had been about the ordeal, but you were suffocating, “I’m not sure what I want to do anymore.”
“Nothin’ wrong with that,” Joel assures, “can’t fault you either. Never went to college so I don’t have an opinion on it.”
There’s no judgment on your end, but for the sake of conversation, you bite.
“Any reason?” You ask curiously, wondering if you'd receive the similar sentiment that it’s all just bullshit.
“Didn’t have the money,” Joel answers simply, “didn’t have the grades, either. I thought I could start my own business out of carpentry, but…”
But…you lean into the table slightly, hanging on his words.
“You need a lot of money for that,” Joel finishes, “and, I mean, I’m livin’ comfortable now, but that idea took a lot of money that I didn’t and still don’t have.”
“So, you waste it on month long vacations in the middle of the woods,” You surmise humorously, nodding in approval, “can’t say I blame you, either.”
Joel shakes his head in amusement, chewing around a bite as he speaks, “Your turn.”
Right. An eye for eye. A question for a question. He's watching you expectantly, waiting for you to give a response to the same question you asked him. 
“Oh—I work out of this bookstore in downtown Austin.” You admit, finishing up the last few bites of your food, scraping the plate nearly clean. “It pays the bills and then some. I like it.”
There’s no compliment needed for the food, all the evidence of it gone. But, you feel the need to appreciate it anyways.
“Thanks for this, Joel.” You speak again, softer this time. 
“It’s no big deal, darlin’.” Joel assures you, holding up his hands in a feeble defense at the compliment, clearly something he doesn’t welcome easily. “Just food.”
“It’s been...months,” You tell him, “since I’ve had any type of home-cooked meal. Take the damn thank you, Joel.” 
He smirks at that, seeing the threatening fork raise before you utter those final words.
“You’re welcome.”
And he means it.
You force Joel to stay seated while you clean, knowing it was the least you could do after he spent so much time preparing and cooking dinner. There’s a solid few minutes of arguing before you have to physically shove Joel back into his chair despite his protests, hands pressed into his shoulders as you threateningly speak down to him.
 “If you move, I’m locking your ass out in the cold.”
Joel wouldn’t mind, but you’re silently hoping that he’ll just listen.
After all is done, tossing the damp washcloth to the side, you sigh with a newfound relaxation.
There’s only one thing that might top off this night, making it almost the first perfect day here.
“That’s it, I’m getting in the hot tub,” You decide, squeezing tenderly at the tense muscles of your neck, thankful that the owners had a small alcove connected to the cabin that allowed for you to enjoy the hot tub from the safety of the cold, “join me?”
You’re not sure what inclines you to ask so openly, but you don’t second guess it.
“While I appreciate the offer,” Joel starts, “I don’t think I brought the proper…attire.”
He’s still seated where you had him planted and it makes you laugh softly at the idea that he was taking it seriously, which—yeah, you did threaten the possibility of hypothermia on him. 
“Fine,” You relent, rounding the corner of the island closest to him as you quickly call out over your shoulder, “but, there’s still a couple of chairs in there if you need the company.”
He didn’t need just anyone’s either and didn’t need, so much as wanted.
He wanted your company.
A while later, you’re already waist deep in the hot tub, figure hugging white bikini tied back securely, arms resting against the side furthest from the door as you press your chin against your forearms and staring out the wall of vast windows that line the room, allowing a view of the snow storm outside, coming down in a flurry that seemed to only be gaining in strength—and Joel, well, he’s still sitting in that stupid chair.
He’s allowed himself too much time in his own head, thinking over the events of the past few days. His call to Sarah was pleasant, a much needed moment of peace when he hears his daughter’s bright, hyper voice on the other end. When he doesn’t have her for the holidays, it’s hard. The calls are sparse, the communication is clipped, and it feels like he’s being forced away from her, knowing that she’s growing older every day. That he is growing older.
He’s allowed a lot of his life to slip away, when he wasn’t working to pay bills and put food on the table he was usually drinking, bar-hopping with Tommy at his old age to hide the pain he felt everyday, mentally and physically. There’s a problem brewing under his skin, using the company of his brother and alcohol to cope with loss he feels so viscerally everyday. The life he could’ve had.
He feels pitiful, miserable—only took this damn trip to get out of town by the suggestion of Tommy, away from all distractions, hoping for a refresh to clear his head. But instead, he met you.
He had no clue what the fuck to do anymore.
Joel’s never processed emotions well, feelings or anything thereof. 
But, here he was, lusting after you. 
He knows it’s the excitement, the taboo idea around sharing something special with a stranger. Someone who knows nothing about you, someone who doesn’t have the leverage to judge. Someone who doesn’t have to know about all the wrongs he’s committed and bad choices he’s made. 
You’re not privy to the fucked up version of Joel that belongs in his hometown, cooped up in his childhood home that he inherited from his parents, filled with too many now painful memories that he’d made with Sarah when she was younger—when he still had her.
He can’t help the way his mind races every single second of the day, constantly worrying, always trying to busy himself with something, anything to keep that lingering cloud of anxiety away. But, when he thinks about you, even something so mundane as the way you squint to get a closer look at a paragraph of the book you’ve probably read a thousand times, his mind goes quiet. 
Because, frankly, he’s fascinated by the idea of you. That maybe, just maybe, you weren’t actually real. He’s halfway leaning toward the idea that he’s had a full mental break and this is all an illusion he’s cooked up in his head, but then he reminds himself that you are just as full a human as himself. There is a reason for this, even if there had to be some other force at play. 
Maybe you needed this as badly as he did.
A fresh start, no judgment.
And that’s why he decides to follow you, the moment he catches a glimpse of you as you turn the corner to take the steps down into the room that connected to the kitchen, a full glimpse of skin and body that he’s tried to keep his mind off of, despite how openly you stare at him.
There has to be something there. He can’t have imagined all of this.
You feel his presence when the creak of wood gives him away, one hand shoved into his front pocket and his other arm helping him stay upright as he leaned against the doorframe. The steam billows and settles like a cloud over the bubbling hot tub but does nothing to hide how see-through your bathing top is and the slick slope of your breasts, his eyes trailing down toward the small bow that was sewn to the midpoint of your top and know he’s staring at your chest, very openly—Joel’s immediately regretting his choice.
Your eyes follow his but you dare not speak, afraid to startle him.
Now who was the jumpy one?
“Change your mind?” You ask curiously, shimming the expanse of the hot tub as you grab onto the opposite ledge, resuming your previous position, closer to Joel now. If you reached out you could touch the edge of his flannel and soak the trim, maybe even pull him closer, but you resist the urge. “It feels amazing. I’m serious.”
It wasn’t a ploy to get him in, but it wouldn’t hurt. He doesn’t respond, eyes staring at the soft wave of the water as it hits your side, his posture rigid. 
Maybe you’d broken him.
“Joel,” You call out with a soft nudge to his thigh, as far as you could reach with your fingertips, cutting into his line of sight, offering a friendly smile, “just strip down to your underwear and get in.”
“I don’t think—”
Oh, for christ sake. 
“You wouldn’t have come over here if you weren’t at least thinking about enjoying the benefits of the hot tub,” You argue, “so stop being grumpy and strip. I won’t even look.”
It shouldn’t sound as gritty as it does, a playful venom in your tone as you sink back slightly.
It makes Joel feel like he’s back in high school, flirting with who would eventually be his ex-wife and mother of his daughter, but there’s an assertiveness that intrigues Joel, your willingness to put yourself out there without fear. Take a leap, a jump, and hope that someone will catch you. 
Joel caught you, he just needed someone to catch him.
You spot his fidgeting, the wheels and cogs in his mind turning and he just needs that shove.
Just enough.
You rise over the edge, palms pressed flat to bear your weight and squeeze your breasts together, belly button nearly level with the water as you’re close enough to see the fine details of his face, giving him a look that Joel couldn’t deny.
“Get. In.” You stress the words, making direct eye contact. “You can thank me later.”
Finally, he moves. 
You sink back slightly into the pool and wade the water until you hit a corner, watching briefly as Joel works away at the buttons on his flannel, quiet air filling with an unspoken tension. You try to busy yourself with the view outside, something that didn’t require you to look in the vicinity of Joel for a second, knowing that the moment felt more intimate than it needed to. But, it doesn’t stop that sparse glances over your shoulder to check on him, now barefoot and pulling his shirt over his shoulders, the fabric pulling and obscuring your view of his face and his view of you, staring so starkly at him in that moment.
It shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. The freckles that speckle his shoulders, nearly invisible from this distance because of his tanned shoulders and the unevenness of the tan as it continues down his arm, varying in shades of intensity, undoubtedly from hours of working in the sun. There’s also a smaller patch of hair on his chest that with his short cropped beard, seems to be trimmed down too. His strong build doesn’t throw you off, though—solid muscle that flexed across his stomach as he yanked his shirt a little harder to get it over his head fully, not built in a way that rippled down his abdomen, but showed a sturdiness to his figure that had your body humming to a tune that reached down to your core, thighs squeezing together under the water. 
Joel passes the shirt off into a waiting arm chair, clothes slowly piling on the cushion alongside your towel and he pops the button on his jeans, still unaware of your…innocent observation. But, the moment the jeans stretch over his thighs you swallow a little too hard and you’re immediately averting your eyes when he looks up briefly. 
Like you’d been caught. 
Joel clears his throat like a warning, as if he hadn’t felt your eyes on him the entire time, and swings a leg over carefully, a view of the black briefs that molded to his skin perfectly and hugged his backside in a way that feels criminally illegal…and you’re staring again.
He hisses at the sudden change in temperate, but inch by inch he lowers and adjusts, eventually huffing out a low groan, eyes closed, when he finally settles on the seat inside of the tub.
Suddenly, this felt like a terrible idea.
“See?” You break the revered silence for him, “Worth it?”
“Almost forgot how you just bullied me in here.” He jokes—full on fuckin’ jokes before cracking an eye open to catch your reaction, a subtle look of disbelief on your face. “I’m kidding, darlin'.”
Your fingers tighten around the edge of the seat under the water and you smile, a half-hearted roll of your eyes thrown his way before you relax too, for a moment.
“This is so weird,” You speak softly, after a while, and Joel looks slightly puzzled as he opens his eyes fully now, perking up slightly as he adjusts himself, chest rising over the water slightly, his arms hanging over the ledge with his fingers gripping the ceramic—and you’re gaze is drifting again, mostly to his hands, but you mask it as you look away briefly, down the hall or out the window. Literally anywhere but Joel, “it’s just—not how I expected things to go.”
“You’re tellin’ me.” Joel replies with an underlying amusement.
As the quiet settles, slowly drifting closer to one side, where you originally were when Joel came searching for you—voluntarily, he lingered and waited, waited for the push you gave him—Joel joined alongside you, burrowing himself in the closet corner nook and enjoying the view in silence.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Joel comments, “everything alright?”
Everything was fine and you couldn’t make complete sense out of it. The ability to be so inherently comfortable with someone you’ve only known for a little under a week, the attraction you felt despite your own rational thinking telling you otherwise, the urge to connect openly and without fear of judgment. It terrifies you.
“Can I ask you a question?” You ask quietly, “Like…a real question, not those superficial ones that we’ve thrown at each other.”
Joel doesn’t like the sound of it, but there’s also the inclination that he could feed you a total lie and you wouldn’t have any idea otherwise.
He nods, fist resting against his cheek as he turns to look at you and suddenly the pressure is on, your heart racing in your chest at his sudden, full attention.
“Earlier…you said you forgot somethin’ in the car,” Joel’s fist clenches unknowingly under the water, an instinct to bury his reaction, “I know it isn’t my business, but I was just curious what is was.”
Joel, against every fiber in his being that tells him to deflect, gives you a straight answer. It’s almost startling how easily it comes out, like he’s lifting a weight off his chest that he’s carried for years.
“I had to make a call,” Joel admits, “to uh—my daughter, she’s back home with her mom.”
Your brow pulls together in confusion, “Wait, are you married?”
Joel somehow amidst the heaviness of admitting his truth still laughs, quick to defend himself from your next question.
“Oh, not at all. Never, actually.” Joel responds, “We…I never married her mom, it was obvious pretty quickly we weren’t going to work well together.”
The answer is simpler than you expect, different too. Part of you wondered if he was pleading his own case to the owners and was just as unsuccessful as you, but this is much more vulnerable.
And despite your ability to lie, and his own, neither of you can force it.
You don’t pry further, feeling like it may push things too far. Too personal.
“Okay, your turn.”
“Do I scare you?” Joel asks suddenly, almost like he’s been anticipating the moment too.
You’re almost sure the expression you return makes you look insane, feeling the implication that he might, that he thinks—it’s so far left field that it throws you off.
“No—no,” You quickly reject any lingering doubt he has, “I mean…the first night, maybe. But, now…no.”
“Oh.” It’s all Joel can muster, unsure of why he was expecting a different answer. That you would say yes and whatever shroud of thought he had about this moment you were sharing was only out of fear, that you were just trying to be polite. 
“Look, I get jumpy because you sneak up on me,” You answer, “and you have this…presence about you,” Okay, not the best wording, “not scary or anything, just…strong.” Big, like a wall. Like, if anyone were to ever approach you wrongly, Joel would attack without question. And maybe the fact that he would do that should scare you, but instead, it entices you.
Joel sits with the implication, burdened by his own mind. 
You can see him lost in thought, speaking with a comforting surety, “Thank you…for telling me.”
The truth. Thank you for telling me the truth.
The next stretch of time, what feels like an hour, is spent in a comforting silence. You think Joel is nearly falling asleep but then he moves, make a comment about how the snow won’t let up and eventually you’re forcing yourself out of the hot tub, reaching over the side to snatch your towel and sending all of Joel’s clothes descending to the floor in the process and as if you had a death wish on Joel, your ass pops up at an angle that is physically impossible to look away from.
Joel is a gentleman, he swears. He was raised to respect and care and always put women first, but there’s a split second where he can’t pull his eyes away, feels like he’s just caught a glimpse of something he shouldn’t have, but then you’re turning your head over your shoulder and you definitely catch him—you could ruin the moment and say something or you could ignore it.
Fortunately, you save Joel some embarrassment, covering it with a sly smile as you apologize for dropping his clothes and take the final step out and wrap the towel around your body.
“Shit,” You quickly realize that in the midst of your pushing Joel to join you that he didn’t have a towel, “stay here—I’ll go grab you a towel.”
Joel wasn’t eager to move anyways, admittedly. Sporting half a hard-on under the water, he wouldn’t subject himself to the scrutiny of your gaze or what implications it would make, thinking every horrible possible thought to will it away—luckily your timing is perfect. 
You quickly gather his dropped clothes and pile them in the chair as you toss the towel his way, ignoring any and all chances to glimpse at his wet body, back turned as you quickly excuse yourself away in fear of the idea that you might say something unforgettably stupid.
-
The walk to your separate bedroom is quick, swift, like a desperately needed escape. 
But, as fate would have it, the moment you open the door and wretch the towel away from your body there’s a loud pop! to your left and a spark on the outside that has you halfway on the floor and slamming into the wall out of both shock and an attempt to shield yourself from whatever unseen force was at play, yelping out loud in the process.
From an outside perspective, you can understand why Joel doesn’t hesitate to come running.
He runs straight into your back, bare chest pressed against your know bare shoulders and leaving you half-dressed in front of him, scared out of your wits and willing to grab onto whatever was nearby to keep you upright—fortunately, Joel’s arm is the perfect anchor as your hand wraps around his wrist and squeezes.
“What the hell?” Joel inquires, slightly out of breath as he searches your face for any signs of injury, “What happened?”
You both look at the culprit—the heated window unit that was no longer expelling heat, and while the cabin was still heated, it didn’t reach the bedrooms well enough that you weren’t shivering without some type of additional help. You sigh in frustration, eyes turning up towards the ceiling as you feel no shame, too frustrated to care as you lean into Joel’s chest.
“Shit.” It’s all Joel offers as a solution, not that you were expecting one. But, still, it would be nice.
“Yeah, shit.” You echo, pushing away from him suddenly to gather your damp towel and a change of clothes, padding your bare feet toward the living room, but Joel is grabbing your wrist before you get too far from him.
“Hey, woah,” He starts in a calmer tone, “you can take my room—I’ll drive into town tomorrow and see if I can get ahold of the owners, we’ll figure something out.”
“I already tried calling them,” You admit, “Earlier. Straight to voicemail and something tells me they won’t be answering their phones until after the holidays.”
Pulling away again, you continue your way toward the living room and gather a few pillows and blankets, tossing them on the larger couch beside the fireplace. Joel doesn’t seem to entertain the idea, following on your heels as he gathers each item you throw in that direction and you finally reach a point of full, unrestrained frustration. 
“Joel, cut the shit.”
“Take the room,” He offers as a counter, “I can sleep on the couch.”
With his back? Not a chance. But, he offers anyway.
“Fuck off,” You chuckle bitterly, “I’m not forcing you out of the bedroom.”
“Then it looks like we’re sharin’ the living room.”
You close your eyes, toss the blanket aside and breathe, clenching and unclenching your fists in an effort to not completely lose it on the man standing opposite of you.
Chivalry be damned, Joel wasn’t giving in.
Fine, two could play at that game.
“I’ll take the bed.” You quickly agree, but there’s a lingering ultimatum.
Joel waits, sees the thought brewing behind your pensive eyes.
“But, so will you.”
“Now—”
“No,” You interject, putting your figurative foot down, suddenly vividly reminded of your vulnerability as you stood there, still slightly damp and in a swimsuit that did nothing to cover your body—it was the reason Joel’s eyes were so pointedly stuck on your face, never lingering elsewhere, “either we both sleep in here on the couch or we share the bed.”
Joel’s hands shift to his hips, towel tight around his waist and you’re too annoyed to admire the way his muscles tense and flex with the movement, the underlying thickening desire settling beneath the surface.
You match his stance, daring him to challenge you.
A small part of you wants him too.
“Anyone ever told you you’re damn stubborn?” Joel asks, trailing behind you as you enter his bedroom, a clone of your own but with a small bathroom attached.
“All the time.” You answer truthfully. “I’m going to shower and sleep—no funny business.”
Meaning if Joel did sneak away into the living room to offer up the full amenities of his own room, he would feel your wrath tenfold.
Joel resigns to the idea and gathers his own pair of fresh clothes before disappearing into the bathroom down the hall, leaving you both to a moment of levity.
There’s no anticipation to the arrangement—but the idea is there, burrowing into the back of your mind. 
You’re sleeping with a stranger…someone you knew little to nothing about, but it was your choice. And you trusted your gut. 
Joel was safe, he was good. 
You relax under the spray of hot water, a different heat to the one you enjoyed just a while ago, the type that allowed your thoughts to roam, and you laugh softly at the sight of Joel’s shower supplies, knowing he was stuck with whatever you brought—it wasn’t something you thought about in the moment, but there’s a brief realization that he was sharing a moment similar to your own, scowling at the sight of your fruity scented body wash that you left on the shelf there. It wasn’t a huge deal, Joel wouldn’t fuss over it. 
But, it also lends your mind to roam more.
As if his bare chest wasn’t already at the forefront, and his eyes as they had stared at you so unabashed until the moment he was caught, all innocent looks with deeper intentions that invaded your mind like a plague.
You were so fucking frustrated—annoyed with him, the state of your life, this stupid vacation. With the suds gone and the water drowning out the silence you allow yourself one—just one moment of selfishness...
And as if the house was the biggest tattletale of them all, the floor creaks on the other side of the door.
“Joel?” You call out curiously, as if an intruder in the middle of nowhere was even likely.
There’s several seconds of silence before Joel finally answers.
“Yeah?”
“Your body wash sucks.” You goad lightly, hoping to ease the earlier frustration that had grown between you both, and while you can’t see him, you can hear his laughter on the other side of the door.
“Can’t say yours is any better.”
You smile to yourself, the way he responds with fondness that he tries to hide.
When you finish up and dress, peeking your head out before you move to open the door fully, Joel is already on his side, turned away. It was obvious that he didn’t want to be bothered. The small blanket of division rolled and wedged in the center of the bed like a barrier, a warning. 
Keep your distance and you both may manage to survive the rest of this vacation.
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mysticheathenn · 2 months
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What Don't You See Coming?
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Hi, Hexlings!
This pick-a-card reading is all about what kind of abundance (more friends, money, better love, etc) or warnings you don't see coming.
This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
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Pile l:
Tarot: 10 of Cups, 7 of Cups, 9 of Cups, The Awakening, The High Priestess.
Okay coming in hot pile l which is also the song that played as I gazed at your cards by Andy Mineo. Pile one what you don't see coming is emotional fulfillment and a spiritual awakening. This awakening is you seeing the many possibilities in your life and how abundant your life truly is. You may have been going through a hard time for a while now and wonder when will things get better and soon, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. For some of you, this could be a spiritual awakening. You are becoming more aware of your most authentic self. Maybe you have been trying to figure out who you are, and what aesthetic you fall under if you are into that (goth, emo, soft girl, that girl, cottagecore, etc etc. For others you you may have been working on a project that you have been feeling a lot of doubts about or maybe haven't seen any feedback on what you have been working on this could be gaining clients, getting more YouTube followers, etc soon your time to shine is coming. I can't say when but keep pushing you are almost there. I know you want to give up and you are tired but keep on pushing you are almost there at the finish line. I see you are very close..how close imagine running a marathon and you see the finish line and the many people crowded around it. That my friend is how close you are to the finish line. Don't lose hope. Lastly, those who have been doubting your intuition stop. Nothing is wrong with your intuition. Now is more than the right time to lean more into it and let it guide you on your current path, I'm hearing you may feel stuck and this is the reason why. You aren't letting your intuition guide you. Your intuition is another way your guides speak to you. Listen to it and stop being hard-headed.
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Pile ll:
Tarot: The Chariot, 3 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, The Priestess.
Travel. Friendship, Financial Growth. This pile I believe some of you may be tarot readers just starting out with your own tarot blog, YouTube channel, etc, and wondering if this is the path for you. Keep going you are on the right path just have patience with yourself and you will see growth in no time. Slow and steady always wins the race love, you will get to where you want to be in making this a part of your career or even a side gig if that's what you want to make of this. IF not tarot this is more so of my creatives who are trying to put themselves out there on the internet. Now for the rest of you what you don't see coming is if not travel more directions but I am seeing travel and maybe even moving houses if you want to relocate. But overall you are moving in some shape or form whether physically or figuratively, you are moving. Just as a few people from pile one you may feel lost and need guidance in what you should be doing in this period of your life. Maybe you just hit a new milestone (30 yrs old, 25 yrs old, or even 21 yrs old, etc) and you are wondering what is it that you want out of this next decade that will make you into a better person. Listen to what guidance is downloaded to you and follow it no matter how strange or out of your routine it maybe now is not the time to question your reality. Also for a few of you who have fallen off from your spiritual practice, your guides are calling you to start back and tap into them so they can give you more guidance. You are letting your current stress and struggles lead you and it's not down the path you should be going on. Overall pile ll, you are heading into financial abundance and movement. Some of you are also meeting your soul tribe, but it's only a very select few of you as that message took the back seat to everything.
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Pile lll:
Tarot: 7 of Swords, The Hanged Man, 2 of Swords, 3 of Cups (reversed), and Queen of Cups (reversed)
Stillness and Decisions. Overall, Stillness is what you don't see coming pile lll. This may not be what you want to hear but during this time you are being called to make some decisions in your life. Some of you are dealing with people specifically friends or family members who are not good for your well being and you are making a difficult decision on whether you should cut them off. Some of you are waiting to see if 2+2 is equaling four (meaning you are waiting to see if your intuition is right) while others of you are just not wanting to pull the plug because you won't have anyone to call a friend or family but who needs to have friends or family like the ones you may possibly be dealing with. For others of you, this stillness is all about catering to your feminine energy and healing. Make better decisions based on what you want to nurture and bring into your life. Some of you may operate in your masculine energy and are having a hard time trying to balance your feminine energy because your environment around you keeps forcing you to be the leader, coach, alpha, etc when all you want to do is lay back and let someone else take the reigns for a bit and if not that at least relax. Take a spa trip, and not have to worry about the building burning down at work or in other peoples life for just a small moment. You may be the person that everyone goes to for advice and you are starting to feel the emotional toll it is taking on you because not many people are replenishing you or even checking in to make sure you are okay. It's time to cut the cord whether temporarily until you make sure you are okay or permanently. The saying, not my circus, not my monkey popped into my head. Meaning it's not your business or your drama to carry, release it.
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Pile lV:
Tarot: 5 of Swords, The Magician, 9 of Pentacles, 7 of Pentacles, 8 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups
I want you to start saying affirmations in the morning pile lv. Start with I am a powerful manifestor. Everything I manifest or pray for I receive. I have everything I need and more. I never lack in any part of my life. I want you to keep saying them until they feel true and you are embodying this energy because that is exactly what you don't see coming or who you are as a person. Some of you may believe in the Law of Assumption, Lucky Girl Syndrom, the Law of Attraction, The Void, etc, either way, I want you to keep persisting and know that what you want wants you. Everything that you desire is chasing you down to give you the life that you want and deserve but you are too focused on the 3D for validation. You are too focused on what I want isn't here, I don't have this yet, I don't have that yet and you need to stop....take a deep breath and hit restart. You are never lacking pile lV and I say this from a perspective of gratitude. Practicing that writing down everything that you are grateful for that you already have will bring in more of what you want. For others of you, You may work in a field or job that is competitive and feel that you are being overlooked and everyone is getting raises and promotions but you, your time to shine is coming just hang in there but back to those who practice spirituality, etc. Financial abundance, luxury, and even recognition I am hearing for some of you is on the way but you have to have faith, and keep pushing through the doubt, keep persisting through the 3D of not seeing what you don't already have because in another reality you already have what you are attracting (not chasing, attracting). You wouldn't have these desires if they weren't meant for you to achieve this lifetime pile lV. You've got this. You are powerful. You can have any and everything you want. Practice your gratitude and affirmations. A few blogs I recommend are @jordynbreeloa777 , @alilarew23 , and @serial777killers
Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.
Stay Safe and Be Blessed
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minniesmutt · 2 months
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♱ ━━━━━━ 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋: 𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 
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♱ ━━━ CONTENT: INDIRECT MENTIONS OF MURDER, GUN MENTIONS, THREATS ON READERS LIFE, MENTION OF PROSTITUTES, STD MENTIONS, NON-SEXUAL NUDITY, FINGERING, EXHIBITIONISM/VOUYERISM, QUICKIE, PROTECTED SEX ♱ ━━━ WC: 2.6K ♱ ━━━ PAIRING: CHAN X READER ♱ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog ♱ ━━━ a repost from my old blog
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     “So, I fucked a mafia boss?”
     “More or less,” Changbin replied
     “That’s kinda hot,” Y/n shrugged
     “Congrats Chan, you didn’t scare her off,” Seungmin gave the leader a thumbs-up
     “Can I get an explanation on the ‘Chan’ part? That’s the thing throwing me off.”
     “Did you tell you his name was Chris?” Felix asked
     “That’s what Changbin and I heard last night, or, early this morning?” Jisung stated
     “That’s embarrassing, damn.” Y/n sighed
     “I can kick them out still,” Chan told her, praying she’d tell him too
     “No, I want more of an explanation.”     Y/n was persistent, that was for sure. Felix took to explaining the current situation; alias’, how they all met, fell into crime and violence together, etc. Leaving out what they actually had done and what they did every day. The club front and mentioned a few others they had because eight people running one club were suspicious.
     “Wow, okay that’s a lot,” Y/n sighed, taking in the information she had just given
     “Chan,” Changbin said
     “Yeah. You guys get to work.”     The words left his lips and the seven guys made their way out of the penthouse, leaving the two. Chan sighed and turned from where he stood next to the counter to stand between her thighs, hands pressing against the cold counter. Y/n wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.
     “I didn’t plan to tell you any of this,” Chan brought one hand up to hold her chin between his thumb and pointer finger
     “Is this the part where you tell me I can’t go back to my regular life? That I know too much?” Y/n was half joking. She’d read a couple of mafia lover books before, if they were anything like real life, she could guess what was coming.
     “You either stay with us or we make you disappear.” The look in his eyes was serious. Y/n just smiled at him.
     “You know, normal people don’t smile when their life is on the line,” Chan notified her
     “Well, guess I’m not normal then. You’re stuck with me.”
     “Y/n, please tell me you’ve thought this through.”
     “What? Stay with a hot gang leader who’s very sweet and has some funny friends who are equally as attractive or die?”
     “You’d be giving up you’re whole life, friends and all, princess. We can’t risk you running to the police.”
     “Chrissy, babe. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not entirely right in the head. I don’t think a sane person would be as calm as I am about this whole thing. I swear I won’t go to the police or tell my friends about this. Most they will know if you’re a club owner and ask for free drinks. Do you want me to make a blood oath to you or something?”
     “No, you don’t need to go that far. It’s… It’s a lot more than me.”
     His head dropped as well as his hand. Laying on her thigh, “You wouldn’t be the first person we’ve brought into this. It usually doesn’t end well when they agree to stay.” 
     “Hey,” Y/n grabbed his face and made him look at her, “What aren't you telling me?”
     “Besides that, my friends are just as smitten with you as I am, if you stay with us you are going to get caught up in everything.”
     “That seems like a given. But I think eight hot men are good bodyguards.”
     “Just how fucked is that pretty little head of yours?”
     “I'm sure you'll figure it out soon,” Y/n pulled him in for a kiss.
     Chan laughed a bit as he kissed her back, gripping her hips, and pulled her closer to the ledge of the counter. Y/n pressed her torso up against his bare chest, hands wandering down to his shoulders and gripping his biceps. “You sure you wanna stay?” Chan pulled away from her lips.
     “Yes, Chris. Now stop worrying and fuck me again.” 
     Chan smiled, “You know, the guys are gonna want you too, right?” he leaned in and kissed down her neck
     “I don’t mind getting passed around,” Y/n chuckled, “But can you share?”
     “I can,” Chan answered, snaking and hand from her hips to under his shirt.
     He pushed his finger between her folds and let his thumb slowly run circles along her clit. Y/n laid her head back on the cabinet behind her as he pushed two fingers inside of her, slowly pumping them in and out of her.
     “Fuck Chrissy.”
     “Love when you call me that,” His voice was muffled against her neck. 
     “Chan! Do you not have you’re fucking phone on you!” Minho’s voice rang
     Chan sighed, not once even stopping his ministrations on her, “What is it now?”
     “Felix got into the cameras at the docs. A bunch of lower-grade thugs go—” Minho walked into the kitchen, “Before I go further, what are we doing with her?”
     “She’s staying with us,” Chan didn’t miss the smirk on his friend’s face.
     “Well, lower-grade thugs got their hands on some bigger-grade guns and ballistics—” Minho explained the situation but Y/n wasn’t paying much attention as Chan slipped a third finger into her and pressed harder on her clit. Chan’s attention wasn’t even on her anymore, he was fully involved in his conversation with Minho. She bit her lower lip to keep her moans at bay.
     “Don’t be quiet on the count of me kitten,” Minho stated, smirk returning to his face.
     Her eyes flickered over to the other man. The moment she caught his gaze, she clenched around Chan’s fingers. Minho’s eyes drifted across her body as he continued speaking with Chan. Eyes lingering just a tad too long on her exposed thighs. 
     “Find the guys and call me, I’ll handle it from there.”
     “You going to have your phone on you this time?”
     “Yes, now go.” 
     Minho smiled, leaving the two of them. Chan turned his attention back to the woman in front of him. His lips went back to her neck while his fingers picked up the pace inside her. 
     “You like being watched when you’re getting fucked,” Chan chuckled 
     “Don’t know what you mean.” His fingers left her seconds later, making her whine
     “I felt you clamp around my fingers when Minho walked in. Don’t play dumb,” Chan pulled himself out of his pants.
     “I could say the same for you. You didn’t stop fingering me when you were talking to him,” Y/n added as he opened a drawer and rummaged around before pulling out a condom, “Do you just conveniently keep condoms in your kitchen?”
     “You never know where you’re gonna fuck, might as well be prepared,” Chan smiled as he tore open the wrapper, rolling the rubber onto his cock
     “Thought you didn’t bring others home.”
     “Princess, we’ve all used prostitutes before,” Chan explained as he pulled her down from the counter, turning her around so his back was against his chest.
     Before she could even comment, Chan pushed into her in one fell swoop. Y/n let a high-pitched moan fall from their throat as leaned forward, putting her hands on the counter in front of her. Chan smiled, holding onto her hips and leaning forward, “So pretty,” he whispered against her neck
     He pulled back and thrusted back into her, not at a slow pace but also not at a fast pace. His lips left kisses along her neck, hands traveling away from her hips and pushing the t-shirt up. 
     “Faster,” Y/n groaned as his hands groped her breasts. 
     “Not yet princess,” Chan chuckled and his fingers tweaked her nipples
     Y/n gripped the marbled counter as her head hung low, deep shallow breaths falling from her lips, slightly pushing herself back onto him, meeting his steady thrusts. 
     “Trying to fuck yourself on me, Princess?” Chan gave her one rough thrust that stopped all thoughts in her head
     Chan was quick to learn last night the effect he might have had on her. Now he was certain of it and it made him smile. 
     He stood straight behind her and grabbed her hips again. He pulled back to the tip and quickly and roughly fucked back into her. Laughing at the curses that fell from her mouth. One hand moved down from her hips to rub her clit. The bit of pressure made her walls clamp around him and the knot in her stomach tightened faster between his thrusts and his fingers.
     Chan’s thrusts were making it hard for her to do— let alone think of —anything. Hands slipping from the counter a bit, taking Chan’s notice. He moved his other hand up from her hip up to the column of her throat. He had a loser hold there as he pulled her back against his chest. Y/n grabbed onto his arm to ground herself, just a little.
     “Even prettier like this,” Chan chuckled before she came undone on his cock. Chan thrusted up a few more times before coming in the condom. 
     Both caught their breaths before Chan pulled out and tossed the condom in the garbage. Y/n leaned against the counter before she was scooped up into his arms and carried back into the large bedroom. 
     “Don’t forget your phone or Minho will kill you,” Y/n giggled as he brought her into the bathroom 
     “I’d like to see him try,” Chan replied. He set her down on the counter before turning on the facet in the tub. Chan stepped out momentarily and came back with both their phones. 
     “Oh shit. Where was mine?” Y/n asked
     “On the floor in your bag by my bed,” Chan answered
     “Didn’t know I dropped it last night. Whoops,” Y/n grabbed her barely alive phone to check her messages 
     “We were both busy,” Chan smiled as he kissed her neck before going back to fix the bath for them. 
Karina: Im so fucking pissed. That dick was terrible last night and now I’m hungover as fuck Seana: I’m assuming none of us came last night then Karina: probably not Y/n? Did you go home with anyone last night
     It was pretty obvious that her two friends she was hanging out with had just gotten home. “Am I allowed to tell my friends I fucked the club owner?” Y/n asked
     “As long as that’s all you say,” Chan replied
     Y/n smiled at him. 
Y/n: I did!  Seana: oh bitch. who? Y/n: the owner 🤭
     Chan came up and stood between her legs and watched her screen 
Karina: no way! I don’t even think the employees have seen the owner. How do you know the guy wasn’t lying? Seana: someone’s jealous 🙄 Karina: im just saying. it’s unlikely 
     “Karina seems like a bitch,” Chan noted
     “She’s been worse.” Y/n sighed
Y/n: If this penthouse is anything to the money that club brings in 👀 Seana: YOU’RE STILL THERE Y/n: He knows how to make a girl cum and I didn’t have to tell him to put a condom on. fuck yes I’m still here Karina: damn. didn’t wanna go raw 🙄 Seana: that’s why you have an std, dumbass Karina: UNCALLED FOR??? Y/n: gtg. talk later 😉 Seana: have fun babe 😉 Karina: does he have friends?
     “I stand by my previous statement,” Chan said as Y/n set her phone to the side
     “Yeah. I just keep her around for entertainment at this point.” 
     “Bath’s ready Princess.” Chan slid his hands under the t-shirt she had on
     “Join me?” Y/n asked, hands wandering down to his sweats
     “Of course,” Chan slipped the shirt off and tossed it to the ground. Y/n pushed his pants down before he took over. Y/n hopped off the counter and Chan guided her over to the tub.
     He got in first and laid back against the porcelain as she got in and laid against his chest. His arms wrapped around her body. 
     “How do you feel about working in the club?” Chan asked after a few moments
     “Gonna make me a bottle service girl?” Y/n chuckled
     “No. People talk, I need you to listen. You’ll have a front job in management as well. You’re here, I might as well put you to use,” Chan explained 
     “Being you’re fuck toy isn’t a job?”
     “You’re human, princess. Not a doll for us to play with whenever we want.”
     “What exactly would I be doing for all of you then? You mentioned the others wanting me.”
     “We haven’t explicitly talked about it, but from the way they were looking at you earlier, I figured they’d all taken a bit of an interest in you. If I’m correct and they are, you’d be shared between all of us. In return, we’ll provide you with everything you need.”
     “Like a sugar baby? That’s what this sounds like to me.”
     “Whatever you want to call it love. But, you’ll also be an informant for us. Men don't talk to us but give them a pretty face offering a drink and they’ll spill anything.”
     “But don’t sleep with the enemy? Come back to each of you every night?” 
     “Hm. Not every night. I’ll provide you with your own place in the building, we’ll all have free reign to your place as well, but you’ll have the same to our places as well. Some may be a bit more clingy than others so beware.”
     “Do you own the building too?”
     “Yes. It is usually the eight of us that just live here, but now,” Chan leaned down and kissed her shoulder, “You’ll be here.”
     “Sounds like fun.”
     Chan smiled, kissing up her neck before his phone rang. Chan got up from the tub and stepped out. He made his way over to the counter and picked up his phone. “Hello?”
     Y/n enjoyed the warm water, sinking lower. Relaxing her muscles from all they’d been through last night and this morning.
     “Alright. Get over to mine to watch Y/n, I’ll head down there.”
     Her head popped up at the mention of her name. “Where are you going?”
     “Work. Minho and Jisung are coming down to take care of you until I get back. I’m sure Minho will give you some more details on the arrangement,” Chan grabbed a towel to dry off and walked out of the room to get dressed, “I’ll have them take you to your place to pack up what you need. I should be done by the time you get back to have your new place set up,” Chan called from inside the room
     “Alrighty,” Y/n spoke, washing herself off. Chan brought in a clean t-shirt for her and cleaned up the clothes on the floor before he kissed the top of her head, “I won’t be long princess.”
     “Have fun,” Y/n replied. Chan patted the top of her head as he walked out of the bathroom. He sent a text to his two friends telling them to take her to pack her things. He made a quick stop in his closet again to grab his gun from its safe. 
     He made sure it was locked again before he left his room. Minho and Jisung walked in from the elevator. 
     “She’s still washing up,” Chan told them as he headed to the elevator. 
     “Got it, boss,” Jisung said
     “I told her about the arrangement as well.”
     Both the men smiled at the mention. They could have some fun with this.
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ramp-it-up · 10 months
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The Gentleman Returns
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Pairing: Henry Cavill x Veterinarian!Reader
Summary: Henry comes back. Can he keep his composure around you?
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. S MUT, Explicit description of graphic sex. P orn with just a little bit of plot. Read at your own risk.  Flashbacks, Facetime s ex, long distance romance, Angst, pining, flirting, arguing, reader insecurity, wagering, brat behavior, dirty talk, size kink, or al s ex, raw p in v (wrap before you tap),  b reeding kink, pain kink, m asturbation,o ral sex (f recieving) Not Beta’d. All errors my own.
A/N: This is part two of Doctor and Mr. Cavill. Let me know if you liked it!
I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
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“I am in control. I am not a man possessed. I am not an animal.”
Henry repeated it to himself as he prepared for his morning cardio run down, which just happened to be 3.5 miles down Route 60 to your house. He decided that running would serve two purposes: One, to round out his morning exercise, and two, to calm him down. 
It had been a long two weeks away. 
You were constantly on Henry’s mind and it took all of his acting skills to attend to the matters that took him home to Great Britain. But he was finally back in your town, which happened to be the location of his latest film role, and he was focused on letting you know that he didn’t think of you as just a good time in America. 
Henry knew that you thought he just wanted to have his way with you. The truth was that he felt for you deeply, and he didn’t quite know how to tell you. Things had gone much farther and faster than he ever imagined they would.
That’s why Henry was determined to be a gentleman today.
He’d stop by and say hello, collect Kal, ask you out on a date, and leave you intact like the lady you are. And then, maybe later, perhaps…. His heart rate escalated as he decided that he wouldn’t just grab you and take you up to your bed and fuck your brains out. 
No.
Absolutely not. 
Henry shook his head and smiled as he started the 5K run to your house. 
He’d landed the night before, and you both agreed that he needed to rest before he was in charge of Kal again. He slept, and then bounded out at 5 am the next morning to train and also to tame the boner that he’d awakened with for the past fortnight.
Henry’s head was in the clouds and he barely registered any exertion on the road to your place; he just daydreamed about led him to this point.
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Two weeks earlier...
Good morning Doctor. How are you?
The text was sent at 7:43 am, as soon as he touched down at JFK. Henry found that he had no qualms about looking desperate for you, because he actually was. 
Henry was surprised when you responded so promptly this early in the morning, but he was pleased.
Good morning Mr. Cavill. I’m a little sore. Fed the animals and am now taking a nice, hot bath.
Henry was concerned as he shouldered his backpack and walked down the jet bridge to the car area for his service. He was stopped for an autograph by someone who recognized him despite his baseball cap and mask, and as such, he didn't have time to really think when he responded.
Oh no! Did you lift too much feed? You really must lift heavy weights properly.
Henry’s brow was furrowed as he thought of you injured. You chuckled at Henry’s cluelessness. 
You’re carrying the weight that did the damage.
It took a second for the lightbulb to go off in Henry’s head, and when it did, he groaned, remembering how tight you’d been around him, but then he frowned again. He dialed you as soon as he was in the SUV with the door closed. 
You stared at your phone, not believing that he was facetiming you. After hesitating for just a moment, you answered.
“Hello?”
Henry peered at you through the screen then smiled, bringing the sun into your world.
“Hullo.”
You smiled back and bit your lip and Henry watched your mouth turn into a little pout. Damn, he was a goner. 
“Are you okay?”
His voice was laced with a sexy tone that sent a tingle down your spine. You could swear that your title had now become a term of endearment instead of a joke. Your head was spinning with desire, need and a little uncertainty. 
“I am perfectly fine.”
You certainly looked fit, Henry thought. And then he spied the bruise on your lip.
“What happened to your mouth?”
Henry looked angry, and your heart beat faster, thinking of how attractive he was when the dark clouds entered his eyes.
“… I split my lip when I… “ 
You looked down, eyelashes fanning your heated cheeks. What came next out of your mouth was a low and husky, but perfectly clear, whisper.
“I split my lip on you.”
Even in the bath, you grew moist at the memory of trying to accommodate Henry’s girth the night before. The slight pain of your bruised lip was forgotten the night before when you’d looked up at him through your lashes. 
Henry’s barely perceptible moan brought you back into the moment and made you rub your thighs together under the water. He took you in, an alluring vision all slippery and wet and beautiful. If he could actually fly like Superman back to your side, he would.
“Dear God. Do you know what you do to me?”
Henry intoned it deeply as he rubbed his jaw and licked his lips. 
“No, I don’t know, Mr. Cavill. Tell me?”
Henry let out a dark chuckle, double checking that the privacy partition was up in the car even though he had his airpods in.
“You’re an enchantress. I cant resist your allure, my dear Doctor, you’re captivating and I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I left.”
He watched you blush and had an idea. 
“I have to get out of this car soon, and I’ll have to make it to my room to take care of this evidence of your affect on me…” 
He panned down to his lap.
“Don’t…please.”
Henry's hand stilled on the ridge of his denimed dick. You’d commanded him with a whisper. He growled your name deep in his throat and you visibly shivered.
“I mean. It’s not for me to decide, but, if you were looking forward to us participating in activities like we did last night again…I’d rather you not…spill anything without me there to collect it. That is, if you could wait that long to cum again. To cum.. inside… me again..”
When you looked up at him again, you saw Henry’s eyes dilate as he bit his lip thinking of your wet heat. His cock jumped as debased images of what he wanted to do to you flooded his brain. He cleared his throat and his eyebrow rose as he bared his teeth in a feral smile to speak to you, his deep bass rumbling through you.
“You want me to save my seed to fill you up with, hmmm?”
You nodded, biting your lip, and your half closed eyes and whimpers only made him harder. He moved his hands to the leather seat of the suv, as he listened to the water moving around you as your free hand floated to your thigh. 
“How about I come back with my balls heavy with cum to pump you full of and let drip out of your pores. Could you handle that?”
You squirmed, your face full of desire. Henry felt like a man starved for your touch although he just left you not 4 hours earlier.
“Mmmmmm... I’d like that. Very, very much.”
Henry watched you throw your head back and licked his lips,trying to find the taste of you from last night.
“D’you need to be fucked again, Doctor?”
He was speaking softly, but resolutely now, his dulcet tones making you feel some kind of way.
“Ohhh, Henry… I’m still a little sore and swollen.”
Henry bit his lip. He didn’t want you to be discomforted, but the idea that he’d ruined you made him mad with need. He was panting as if he’d played a full rugby match and he was ready to burst inside his pants. 
“Are you? I should be there, to kiss that sweet little cunt. Soothe all her sore places with my tongue. D’you need that?” 
Henry stopped himself from calling you Love, but the pet name reverberated in his brain as he watched your beautiful face full of want for him.
“Yes Henry. Oh my goddd!”
You brought your hand up to your neck and Henry wished it was his.
“Lemme see those nipples, play with them for me, yeah?” 
You did as you were told and Henry watched as you filled your hands with yourself. He nearly cried at the sight. He instinctively rubbed his cock again, but he could control himself.
Couldn’t he?
With you he was not so sure, but there was no going back now, he had to see you through to your end.
“Feel that pussy for me, let her know how much I miss her already. Get in there, Love. Let me hear how much she aches for me.”
He’d let it slip. And he didn’t care. You didn't either. He could call you anything he wanted as long as he didn’t stop talking you through this need. 
“Oh… Hen-ry…”
Your mouth opened wider and your head was thrown back as your hands ventured further down your body.
“Are you circling that plucky little bud for me?”
“Y-yessssss.”
The stutter and the look on your face made him even bolder. Henry clenched his jaw and his fists to keep control.
“I’m not far from the hotel. Give me one before I get there. Be a good girl for me…you were so good last night…took my cock so well, although I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I’m not…hurt so good Henry…”
Henry kept his eyes on you as you licked your lips and keened. You had him sweating 1500 miles away. 
“I wanted to fill you up and watch it drip out of you…”
“F-f-fuck…!” 
You were panting like a wild animal, and Henry swallowed the whine that was lodged in his throat with a growl. 
“Now stuff three of your pretty little fingers in that pretty little plump cunt. Cum for me. Give me something to dream about.”
You heard his fierce whisper and your eyes rolled as you tried to catch your breath. 
“H-h-henryyyy!”
Henry experienced three things: your beautiful face as you screamed with pleasure, his cock raging hard in the confines of his jeans, and his heart beating a mile a minute in his ears. Henry cursed under his breath and reached for the cold bottle of water provided by the car service. He took a swig, then closed it and put it on his forehead. 
Henry tried to collect himself as he listened to your breathing settle and watched you open your eyes slowly and smile shyly at him.
“Such a good girl for me. You alright?”
You hummed. 
“Yes, Mr. Cavill, Sir.”
Henry grinned. Maybe he had tamed the brat a little.
“Now. No more orgasms until I return.”
Henry the Dom was in full force. How was this your life? All you could do was smile at the fortune of having one of the sexiest men in the world lavish this attention on you. You decided to enjoy it while it lasted.
“Right.”
Henry cocked his brow at you. He hoped he looked hard. Because inside….Well, inside, he was all mush for you.
“What was that?”
“I mean, No Sir.”
Henry wanted to say a lot, but he needed to get on with his day; his first interview was in less than two hours.
“We will talk later, Doctor, before I board the redeye for London..”
“Of course, Mr. Cavill. Sir.”
Henry threw you a look as you winked and ended the call. He sighed and stepped out of the car, head full of you as he headed to the penthouse.
You climbed out of the bath and fell back into bed naked, dreaming of Henry in your arms.
—--
Three days later….
The picture you’d sent made Henry wild.  
It was an innocent picture of Kal, his snout resting on your bare thigh. It was exactly where he wanted to be.
“That rake. Trying to steal my girl,” he murmured to himself as he grinned at his phone.
“What’s that Hen?”
Henry looked up at the two men who were smirking at him over their brandies. Henry looked from Corey to Jamie’s face. He hadn’t heard a word they’d said.
“What?”
“You’ve not stared down at your lap and smiled like that since Year 7.” 
Corey knew Henry better than almost anyone.
“Who is it?”
Jamie was curious what had his mate so distracted. Henry’s head was in the clouds in between press for their movie that was being released, he was working out every spare minute, and he wasn’t looking at any of the lovely ladies that threw themselves at him, not even a little. 
Henry’s face lit up.
“I don’t even know where to begin. She’s… she’s amazing…”
Henry commenced to waxing poetic about you. 
When he finally took a breath, Corey asked, “Yeah, yeah.. But how does she look, lad?”
Henry grinned and flipped through the pictures that you’d sent him on request. He found one that was relatively tame, with you sitting ensconced in his sweatshirt and nothing else. All you could see was your freshly washed face, that smile, and those legs.
Corey whistled.
“There’s a looker!” 
He passed the phone to Jamie who looked at you and then up at Henry, who was beaming.
“That’s why you’ve been hitting the gym harder than usual. Working off that tension.”
Henry grinned.
“Yeah, she’s going to get it when I get back.”
Corey was quick to catch him.
“He’s saving himself? Oh shit. This is serious. When’s the wedding?”
Henry blanched.
“What?...No… we only just…”
“Henry. Did you notice the girl with the huge rack who’s walked by our table four times?”
Henry looked around the restaurant.
“Where? No…”
“She’s right there!”
Henry looked in the direction that Corey pointed.
“Her?” Henry laughed. “She’s… passable.”
Corey looked at Jamie and shook his head.
“You’re right, James. He’s gone. Raise a glass.”
Henry shook his head as Corey and James toasted and took a mockingly somber drink, then he clinked his own.
“Here’s to My Dear Doctor.”
“If she can tie you down, then cheers to Dr. Y/N!”
Henry shared a laugh with his friends.
“Now who wants to go on a run in the morning?”
Later that night:
Although it was after midnight for Henry, it was only after 7 where you were. But your insecurity permeated your conversation with him that night. You went on about his dating history and he railed against online gossip mongers. Finally, you said what you were really thinking.
“I am so not your type, Henry.”
Henry sighed.
“What are you on about?”
I’m a convenience while you’re in town. And you still think you want me because we’re practically sexting every moment of the day. I bet that if we didn’t talk until you had to come back, you’d forget all about me. You’ll find some beautiful English rose…”
“How much?”
“Hunh?” You were being thrown off of your rant.
“How much do you want to bet?”
“Henry….”
“We’ve got, what, 10 more days? 100 quid.”
You couldn’t believe him.
“You’re trying to make light of this. Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset Henry.”
“So you’re chicken?”
“I am NOT!” You huffed. “What is a ‘quid’? A pound? You’re betting me a hundred pounds?”
“I forgot how poor the dollar is. I’ll take it easy on you. 100 dollars US.”
“You have a deal Mr. Cavill.”
Henry grinned on the other end of the line. Your brat side would work to his advantage this time.
“Deal. No more phone calls. Just two texts a day. Good morning and good night.”
You were quiet a long time. Then you decided, if it was going to end, you should just go ahead and end it.
“Okay. Goodbye Henry.”
“See you soon, Doctor.”
—-----
Ten days after that conversation, you were feeding the sheep when Kal started barking and going crazy at the fence. You approached it and looked down the road to see Henry running toward you at an impressive pace.
Butterflies began to flutter in your belly. The last 10 days had sent you spiraling. Two texts a day were not enough. You missed Henry horribly, and you’d imagined him diddling half of Europe since you practically told him to. Well, you only had yourself to blame. You’d ruined a good thing, even if it were temporary.
You didn’t want to face him, but you had to give him his dog. You didn’t have much time prepare yourself because Henry’s time was good. He ran up and leaned on the fence as he greeted Kal. Then he looked up at you, hypnotizing you with those eyes and that smile of his. 
Damn, you’d missed his face.
Henry was unequivocally a goner. The sight of you made him light headed, the erratic nature of his heart not a good combination with the increase from running.
“Hello, Doctor. How are you?”
Henry smiling at you made you warm. It felt like you’d never been asked that question before and you wanted to tell him your life story, but you just said, “Fine. And you Mr. Cavill?”
Henry grinned at the formalities. You were still his incorrigible brat that he’d left in bed two weeks ago. 
His?
Yes, His, he decided as he watched you unlatch the gate enabling Kal’s attack. He laughed and rolled around in the grass with his pup and you watched fondly. You could get used to these two brutes. You tried to walk around them when Kal went after you too, tripping you up and causing you to fall onto Henry, straddling him as Kal barked excitedly beside you two. 
You looked into Henry’s eyes, feeling him beneath you. It wasn’t sexual, not quite, just familiar. Henry was being calm and his hands just rested on your sides as he grinned up at you. You wanted to hug him. But instead, you made to get up.
“S-sorry.”
“No problem at all, Doctor.”
You cleared your throat and stood up, placing your hands on your hips, grimacing at Henry, who was up now himself. His hair was haloed by the early morning sunlight, and he winked at you as he brushed himself off. Damn him and his perfect features.
“D’you want some water?”
Henry regarded you, solemn and intense, when a drop of sweet traveled from his hairline into his right eye. You felt like you were drooling as you watched his biceps flex as he wiped it away.
“You’ve read my mind.”
The timbre of his voice reminded you of that night on facetime, and your pulse quickened at the thought that you had indeed read his mind. You wanted him, and here he was acting like you were just acquaintances. He really had fooled around in Europe. You could have kicked yourself.
You turned and Henry followed you into your house, taking off his shoes and washing his hands as you did. You watched Henry gulp down the water and you kept your distance. Kal seemed content to give you both your space in the kitchen as he laid in the sunlight from the window in the dining room.
“Doctor, we need to talk.”
Your heart dropped. You knew it.
“There’s nothing to talk about. We talked already. You found someone else. Or had some random hookups. Just as I told you you would.”
Henry’s blood was starting to boil. He took a deep breath, but his voice still came out menacing.
“You are the most maddening woman.You don’t get to tell me what I want, or what I did or what I should do. Like you said, we don’t know each other that well. But I thought that we had an understanding, L/N…”
Now you were angry.
“What understanding? How can we have an understanding if we’ve never really talked. We just fucked. You were horny. I was there. We. Just. Fucked. That’s it. It was good. Now it is over.”
“Oh? It’s over is it? I’ve half a mind to turn you over my knee.”
You chucked your chin up at him like you were daring him.
Henry saw the glint in your eye and he knew what had to happen. Gentlemanly thoughts were out the window. He put the glass down and advanced on you.
You moved back and opened your mouth to reply, but what came out was a squeak. You closed it quickly
“That’s right, listen good, little mouse.”
He moved again and you stayed put.
“Yes. We fucked. We fucked and it was amazing. But we fucked because I’m insanely attracted to you in a myriad ways, not just because I wanted to fuck. You were right. I know how to smash and dash, Doctor, and this is not that.”
Henry paused to look into your eyes, to make sure you understood him. 
“I’m in awe of you. You’re a skilled professional, you’re kind, and gentle, and a nerd who loves to have a good time. You soothe me. You make me think and you make me go mad every time I think about how your body seems made for mine.”
You were inches apart, but he didn’t touch you. 
“I’m entirely and utterly smitten with you. And I’m afraid of the power you have over me Doctor. I’m supposed to behave as a gentleman, but you make it impossible.”
Then, he stepped back leaned up against your counter, running his hand through his curls. It was the counter where you first kissed. You smiled at him.
Henry eyed you warily and crossed his arms, showcasing his muscles and veins. You were dangerous. but he was going to be strong.
“What?”
“You mean that you didn’t get with anyone else when you were away?”
Henry sighed and rolled his eyes.
“No. Didn’t want to.”
He stood up straighter as you advanced on him now.
“This perfect specimen of a body?”
You pointed, just shy of touching him. Henry reached back and grabbed the counter to keep from grabbing you. 
You reached out and trailed your hand down his muscle shirt, stopping shy of the waistband of his shorts.
“And you’re willing to wait even longer?”
Henry cleared his throat.
“Yes.”
Henry’s voice broke and he caught your eye. At that moment, you knew your power.
“It’s just for you, Doctor. When you’re ready.”
You scoffed at him. And leaned up on tiptoe to whisper in his ear. 
“But this body is for the world, Mr. Cavill. After all, millions drool over it every day.”
Your lips brushed the shell of his ear, and Henry closed his eyes and suppressed a shiver. He gave in and reached for you, grabbing you and pulling your flush to him. He looked down, eyes sparkling.
“Maybe so, but how we feel pressed together is just between me and you.”
You looked into the softness of his eyes and you could tell he was sincere.
“But how can you know?”
“I just know that I know. I want to protect you, I want to comfort you… I want to...”
“Oh, Henry…”
You threw your arms around him and kissed him. He lay claim to your mouth again and after, he rested his forehead on yours, panting.
“I’m… I want to be a gentleman…Want to take you out. Wine…dine…”
You palmed him over his shorts and watched his eyes dilate.
“What if I take you out?”
Henry watched you lick your palm and reach into his sweats as he forgot to breathe.
“I- I …”   Henry looked down at what you were doing. “Careful…’
You looked up at him, determined now.
“I thought you were going to cum inside me and leak out of my pores.”
“Mmmmmmmmmother of god!” 
Henry clenched his jaw as he growled at you. 
“I do want to fuck you very badly, Doctor. But you deserve… to be treated….”
Henry’s voice faded away as you continued to stroke his rock hard length.
“It’s been 14 days. I deserve to be fucked. Hard. Need you ... please… Sir.”
You took his right hand and put it on your breast. He rolled your nipple through your shirt and then mirrored the gesture with his left. Henry had a brief thought that you were trying top him before his brain short circuited.
Before you knew it, you’d been spun around and your face was on the cool marble of your countertop. Henry pulled your leggings down to your ankles. You pulled one leg out and Henry hoisted it up on the counter. You leaned back and desperately grabbed at his curls.
“Please Henry, Give!”
He leaned over and whispered in your ear as his fingertips spread you wide. 
“Trust me Doctor, you will take. But first…”
Henry sank to his knees and whispered to your cunt.
“Been so long. Need to taste…mmmmmmm.”
You were pulled back onto Henry’s face as he buried his mouth into your wet crevasse. He hummed and smacked as if he were eating the best meal of his life. Henry certainly thought so. He destroyed your soul as he alternated fucking you with his tongue and licking you rudely throughout your entire crease.
After you came on his face, he took off your pants completely, and lifted you easily in his arms, walking a few feet to your couch.
Henry set you down face first before him, leaning down to whisper in your ear.
“You’re a venus, my dear Doctor.”
Henry’s thick fingers moved from your knee digging into the couch cushions up your thigh to the wetness dripping there. Four fingers found your slick and swiped, while his thumb ghosted your puckered hole.
“Mhmmmmm. Henry…”
“So responsive f’me. Want to be everywhere all at once.”
Henry enjoyed the feeling of his cock slipping in your wetness, the way you moved to try and get him inside you. He moaned knowing how much you wanted him too. His hands moved up from your hips to find your nipples under the top you were wearing and your moves became more wanton. Henry became irritated at the confines of your shirt. He reached for the hem.
“Take this off…There we go.”
He pulled you to him, your cool back against his warm torso, and he trailed his hands up and down your body.
“‘ve wanted my hands on you ever since I left…”
“Me too, Mr. Cavill.”
You’d turned your head to whisper, and Henry’s mouth captured yours in a kiss. You wiggled your ass against the pounding organ that was wedged between your cheeks, and he reached down to grab your hip to still you.
“Want my cock?”
You shook your head.
“No. Need it.”
And with that, you bent down again and looked over your shoulder at him, arching your back.
Henry gazed down at your presented ass and turned his head to the side, admiring, as that eyebrow raised and made you that much wetter.
“Yesss…” His blue eyes met yours. “I believe that you do.”
You whimpered and dropped your head, watching from below as Henry grabbed his cock at the base, his fingers splayed out against his big balls as he lined up and breached you with his rude, wide, mushroom tip. 
“Let me…”
The stretch burned deliciously, and both of you grunted as Henry eased into you, his length and girth making you question reality again. 
“…Slide into this warm…”
“Oh, Henry! Feels so-”
He cut you off.
“Shit! Love how you take it.”
“Oh god!”
You were almost sobbing at how good it felt.
“I feel you inside me.”
“D’you feel it getting bigger?”
You could hear the grin in his voice. You nodded and sobbed, the feeling indescribable.
“Stretching you out. So, so good.”
“Uh unhhh uhmmmmm. Missed you Hen...ry!”
“Me, too, Love. Me....too!”
Henry was moaning behind you as he smoothly thrust in and out of you, making it so good that your buried your head into the pillow and drooled into it between your screams of: “Oh my goddd!”
“Mmmm just like that, take it all for me.”
He delivered a sound slap to your behind and you keened.
“Love it when you take it all.”
He smacked you again.
“D’you like my cock?” he demanded.
“Mmmmyeah hmmm, I love itttt!”
Henry moved his hand around to your clit and started manipulating it.Then, he moved your hand to your sensitive nub as you whimpered.
“Now take over for me. Circle that clit. Justttt like that.”
You did as you were told, your legs shaking.
“Ohhh oh my god, Henry!”
“Just like that. Good girl.”
Henry smacked your ass yet again.
“Now keep it up.”
The stimulation was getting to be too much. This man knew how to fuck all of you, not just your body, but your mind.
“Henry…” 
Your plaintive wail was almost too much for Henry. Yet he persisted.
“M’ gonna fuck you….”
Your wetness was making what was now happening sound obscene, and served to get you closer to the orgasm he hadn’t given you permission to have yet.
“Oh god!”
You wanted to pull your hand away, but you obeyed his command.
“There…”
Henry swiveled his hips so that your insides lit up like a christmas tree as he fucked you.
“Please…”
You couldn’t breathe, and you were beginning to feel a certain pressure in your pelvis. You whimpered again as Henry made you feel every nerve ending in your body.
“…Just…. there…”
Henry’s thrusts were controlled and steady, despite feeling your cunt clenching in waves around him as you tried in vain to stave off your end.
“Oh yeah I like that.” 
He’d leaned down, hot breath in your ear.
“Oh I feel it Henry.”
“God yeah. Me too. You like that, Doctor?”
“Oh Godddddd!”
Henry pulled you upright and you struggled to keep circling your clit as your hips sped up of their own volition. You used two hands as Henry squeezed your hips, holding on as you bounced up and down on his dick. His eyes were glued to your bouncing tits. 
“Oh shit! Just there…bounce like that, yeah.” 
Henry’s mouth descended and latched on, sucking your jugular as you fucked yourself on him. His hands kneaded your bouncing breasts. He was in heaven.
“Use me, Baby. Make yourself feel good.”
“You’re so fucking big….”
Henry grinned into your neck.
“Feel it Doctor…” 
Henry was blowing in your ear as he suckled on your lobe now. He bent you back over, placing his hand between your shoulder blades so you would move your hands and deliver the arch. You were relieved yet still desperate. Henry looked down and groaned.
“Look at that cream.”
The timbre of Henry’s voice and the slapping of skin on skin was more than you could bear.
“Henry… Please! Can I cum?”
The slapping intensified as Henry sped up and got sloppy, losing control finally.
“Cum… now Doctor…”
Henry stroked into you fiercely, prolonging your orgasm until your spasming channel forced him out of you.
You both exclaimed in disappointment, and Henry in laughed as he kissed your neck and plunged back inside you, fucking you even harder now.
“Thank you for that. I was about to spill everything inside you and this would be over. Gave me a bit of a breather. Now give me that arch again.”
He bent you over again.
“Just there. Oh yeah… Looka there…that arch…yesss. Love that arch.”
He crossed his arms to hold your hips still so that he could go even harder.
“Am I fucking you properly?”
You were drooling and your eyes were rolling; you barely registered his question. Henry slapped your ass.
“Oh. Yesssss! Fuck yesss. Cock is so hard…so big.”
“Oh, shit…sssssss!”
Henry hissed as he felt his cum crawl up from his balls. 
“I….ugh… Henry!!!... I’m cuming…”
“M…Me toooo!”
—-
You were the little spoon to Henry’s big as he held you on your couch, the plaid throw covering your nakedness. You stroked Henry’s arm as he held you close.
“Did you spend the entire two weeks thinking that up?”
Henry leaned over to look at you, smiled, and kissed your nose. Then he relaxed again.
“That was entirely off the cuff. You’re an inspiration. A muse.”
“A sexual muse, hunh.”
Henry pulled you closer to him. 
“So much more than sexually. You inspire me in so many areas.”
You looked back at him quizzically. He just grinned.
“Come, lets get cleaned up and get dressed. And give me ride over to my place, would you? We have a brunch reservation in… two hours at The Orangery. I’m taking you out on the town.”
“And you can pay, because you owe me a hundred dollars.”
You realized that it was put up or shut up time as Henry grinned at you.
——
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igotanidea · 11 months
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For his eyes only: Jason Todd x fem!reader x Dick Grayson preview
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MINORS DNI!!!!!!! I'M SERIOUS!!!! IT'S HEAVY MATURE CONTENT AND I SWEAR IF YOU ARE UNDER LEGAL AGE AND INTERACT WITH THAT I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!
Seriously, I got so much fluff and angst on my blog, go check out sth else.
AS FOR THE REST: Let me know if you want more of this, cause damn my mind right now..... 🥵🥵🥵🥵
***
„Jay…..” she called him, swaying her hips left and right in that seductive way that always got her his undivided attention. Jason was currently splayed on the sofa, reading a book, but the second he saw her coming from the other side of the room he tossed it away, smirking knowingly.
“what is it princess?”  he propped himself on the elbow, eyes fixed solely on her figure, her leggings leaving very little to the imagination “got something for me?”
“Mhm…..” she muttered, straddling his hips, hands locking on his neck, while his own found a way to her waist, gripping her tightly “I got a …. Proposition.”
“I like how that sounds. Keep talking baby…..”
“I’ve been thinking about …. Well, spicing things up in the bedroom.”
“Now I most definitely like how that sounds. Shall we start now?” his right hand travelled down, an started  palming her ass.
“Why can’t you just let me finish, Jaybrid?” she grinded on him a bit, which got her a groan “’At least one of us should be able to keep it in the pants, don’t you think?” Y/N whispered into his ear, moving a bit more.
“I….. what do you need?” he hissed though clenched teeth, fighting the urge to just throw her on her back and have his way with her
“I want a threesome….” She whispered and  fuck, he was hard before but now…. now he started burning up. Who would have thought that his little girl would suggest something like this? And to think that when they started dating she was all vanilla, scared of anything to crazy. Apparently, his lust, sex drive and explorer vain finally rubbed off on her. He created a monster and he loved that.
“God, can you say that again?” he panted, breath fastened. “that’s so hot coming from your mouth”
“Let’s explore something new, Jace….”
“Fuck, yes, you already got me.” He sat up looking straight into her eyes. “so…. you, me and Roy?”
“I was rather thinking about someone else….” She tangled fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp and tugging on the roots in that way he liked so much “someone, in your own playground.”
“What?” he frowned, but then the realization dawned on him “NO!”
“Jace….”
“I said no. fuck no. I am not sharing you with my fucking older brother.’
“But sharing me with Roy was completely fine.”
“those are two different things!”
“How so?”
“Dick is …. Is ….”
“What, baby?” she cooed “are you scared of a little competition? Cause Jay, believe me, I’m just curious about what it would be like to have both Nightwing and Red Hood. Wonder which one of you is a boss in the bed…..” she tapped her chin and he used that moment to trap her underneath him.
“I’m not scared of him! And you should know that the only one who can contain your slutty attitude is me” he kissed her hungrily, her back arching into him, before she realized the game Jay was playing and pushed him off
“Does this mean you agree?” she smiled absolutely innocently ”Please, baby. I’ll wear that little red lacy thing you like so much….”
“So he can admire you in that?” he hissed
“No baby, of course not.” her eyes sparkled dangerously, filled with lust and mischief “so you can take it off me before his very eyes. To leave Dick desperate, whiny, jealous….”
“Fuck…” Jason felt himself getting harder at the mere thought of killing two birds with one stone. Having her and torturing Grayson? He truly did not deserve the angel Y/N was being. “Just tell me when and where and it better be quick, cause otherwise babe, I’m gonna take you right here, right now. “
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blazewrites-smut · 11 months
Text
I've gotten a LOT of Mirage x Reader requests, so here I am feeding the lot of ya. Hope you enjoy! I got a couple ideas this one was by far my favorite. I already planned on doing an oral scene but a suggestion to do it helped motivate me.
I had a lot of fun writing this. I hope to write more Mirage and other Transformers Characters I'm the future.
Enjoy~
WARNING : ⚠️ 🔞 NSFW themes, oral sex, and masturbation included in this short fic. Please do not read if you are under the age or 18. This is a NSFW blog so if you are under the age, please move on!
ROTB Mirage X Gender Neutral Reader
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It's night, that's all you know. You've lost track of the time. The amount of time you've spent on your back with your legs suspended over a pair of shoulders for… you can't even remember. All you can feel is a mouth and glossa teasing your sex. It's like his glossa is dancing around, leaving your back tingling and your legs shaking as he starts to bring you towards yet another orgasm.
You are making the lewdest of sounds as you buck against his face. His glossa slowing down as he helps you ride through your orgasm until he feels you go limp, is only when he pulls away to smirk down at you. A shit eating grin that makes you glare at him through your half lidded lashes.
"What number was that?" Mirage asks as he pulls away briefly to lick his lips, his blue eyes casting a glow over your body in the darkness of your garage.
"I-I can't remember." You admit, breathing heavily as you try to catch your breath. You hear a tsk and his glossa clicking in disappointment.
"Now, Mami/Papi, I told you to count for me. It seems I may have to start all over, again. I don't mind doing that, but from your bodies reaction. You're getting tired. Now, let me ask again, baby. What number?" He asks. You rack your brain for a number, your brain is so hazy with lust and the feeling of floating on cloud nine makes it even harder.
"N-nine?" You ask.
There's silence before you feel his mouth on you again making you sob in pleasure as he picks up where he left off. Sucking at you rather loudly, pulling your hips up off the table and closer to his mouth, your hips were practically pressing against his nose!
"Not quite, baby. The number you were looking for was thirteen. Seems you need another to help jog your memory. Don't worry, I'll keep you awake. We still have a few more hours until your roommate gets back. For now, enjoy the ride, baby."
You groan before squealing as his glossa is quickly working at you again. You can hear his lips smacking and sucking around you, it's loud and lewd. You love it. Though your body was starting to scream at you that it was starting to get to be too much. Mirage has you so focused on his glossa that you don't hear the sound of his paneling covering his spike opening with a soft 'click'. A soft glow and his arm not holding you is moving jerking motions.
You take a peek to see his servo wrapped around his erect spike. It's bright blue and red bio light lighting up his torso and thighs as he strokes himself while he's enjoying getting a taste of you. It's hot to see him getting lost on the pleasure he is feeling and giving you.
Mirage is a giver, he loves seeing you get worked up and begging for him. Due to the size difference, it's rather difficult to take him. So, you have found other ways around penetration. Though after the incident involving you almost popping yoru jaw out of place trying to give him oral, he's not let you do anything to his spike besides giving him a handjob or using your thighs.
"I can feel you getting closer, Ven a mí, nena~" He purrs against your sex making you arch your back and open your mouth in a silent scream as you cum again. This one hits you so hard that your vision goes white as Mirage helps keep you still against his mouth so you can ride it out.
When you come back to, Mirage has you laying on the blanket he laid out earlier. You are laying on your back and him laying on his side with his servo on your middle. You glance at his crotch to see his spike has already been tucked away, but his thighs are covered in his release.
"Have fun, mi amor?" He asks with a cheeky smirk. Your response is smacking at his chest rather weakly.
"Fuck you."
"We just did."
"I hate you."
"Love you too, mi amor."
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ttoddii · 2 months
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touch starved bada headcannons
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pairing(s): bada lee x f!reader, bada x floor (are you proud of me carly)
warnings: smut, MDNI, AGELESS BLOG DNI, phone sex, exhibitionism(?), long distance, not proofread, bad description, bad grammar, lowercase intended.
a/n: the cunty idea that me and carly had been talking about since the very first day we met. i hope y'all enjoy this, even when i write smut like i'm virgin mary 💀
special note: i love you carly bestie mwa mwa.
taglist: @missminho; @taniio; @vvsbada (comment under my posts to be add/remove)
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⊹₊ ⋆ you and bada had always been like moon and star, wherever she is, you are, and vice versa, so when she has to leave for one of her oversea dance class, and you guys were forced to be separated, bada did not take that lightly.
⊹₊ ⋆ bada would call you every single night saying that she miss you a lot, and she wish you could be there with her right now.
⊹₊ ⋆ would be very open with you about what she want to do if you're there. hugging you, kissing you, fucking you senseless.
⊹₊ ⋆ touch starved bada who would go to class planning to focus on work but immediately think of you when she grind herself against the floor.
⊹₊ ⋆ bada who would try to regain her composure but couldn't help it when her mind is clouded with how pretty you look under her when you guys are fucking in bed.
⊹₊ ⋆ usually when bada dance she would already feel the hotness build up through time, but this time, when she's away from you, and her mind is hazy from how she couldn't focus, she could feel her whole body burning from neediness.
⊹₊ ⋆ bada who would take glances at the clock every now and then to wish for the time to pass by quicker.
⊹₊ ⋆ when the class is finally over and everyone take their leave, she would immediately take out her phone to text you.
⊹₊ ⋆ poor baby has to deal with her touch starved self on her own :(
⊹₊ ⋆ would call you as soon as you reply to her text and tell you how needy she is.
⊹₊ ⋆ "fuck baby i am so hot right now i need to let off some steam"
⊹₊ ⋆ touch starved bada who would touch herself everywhere while on call with you in hope to let the hotness die down.
⊹₊ ⋆ she would be touching her breast, wrapping her arms around her waist, imagining how you would do the same to her when you guys are in bed.
⊹₊ ⋆ bada would grind against the floor, searching for the friction she much needed, but never get what she want, it's just not you :(
⊹₊ ⋆ touch starved bada who would occasionally give out a breathy moan or fasten up her breath when she touch herself in the right place.
⊹₊ ⋆ bada would make sure to compliment you, imagining you under her while she grind herself against the floor, making you blush even through the screen.
⊹₊ ⋆ "fuck baby you're doing so good, keep grinding, just like that"
⊹₊ ⋆ bada who would turn on the camera so you know how badly she needs you to be there so she could do all the things she's doing on screen.
⊹₊ ⋆ mean bada who would make you turn on your camera so she could see your pretty face while she say the dirtiest things to turn you on.
⊹₊ ⋆ "god i wish i could thrust up that pussy right now"
⊹₊ ⋆ "darling i think i'm about to cum"
⊹₊ ⋆ bada who would ask for permission to cum while her brows furrow and her teeth bite down on her lower lip.
⊹₊ ⋆ bada who would definitely fuck you until you cannot walk properly when she come back.
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˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ bonus:
🌊: pick up the phone, i won't wait for long.
scared that she is having trouble with something, you immediately pick up the call that shows on your phone.
"bada what happened?", you asked, your hurried tone clearly indicating that you're worried about her.
and bada respond with turning on her camera, her body barely being cover with how she had thrown her jacket to the side, her thin shirt not doing its job with how her sweat seep through the white fabric, revealing the bra inside.
"fuck, i'm just... very needy right now, need to fuck you so bad", bada said, her voice low and husky with how she's feeling.
and you stare, wishing that you could be there when bada almost lay on the floor, her strong lean arms holding her body up as her lower body thrust itself to the floor slowly, yet sharply.
"gonna fuck you so good you can barely remember who you are, gonna please you, you would like that wouldn't you"
you could only stare, speechless at what she's doing, but you would also feel yourself getting hotter by the second as you look at how your girlfriend grind on the floor, thinking of you.
but again, you can take control, with how hazy bada's eyes are, how needy she is, how she is basically squeezing her own breast, how she needily try to get herself some friction from grinding against the floor.
you can definitely take control of the all mighty girlfriend you has.
"bada, touch yourself for me"
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rougecreator1 · 1 month
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Masterlist... //
Personal Introduction
Fandoms
Rules for Requests (must read before making requests)
Wip Masterlist
Hi!! This is my master-list blog, including any and all info you'll need before making a request. Tells you who I am, who I write for, submission rules, and works I've already done! I'll try to keep this as updated as possible; if I somehow miss something don't hesitate to tell me! || Requests open!
Meangirls (2024)
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Regina George
Beauty is Pain -Regina's high heels bother her, reader notices and makes Regina switch shoes. (established relationship.)
Desire for you Affinity
-reader is a mystery student on y/sports team, Regina sends Gretchen to gather information. Eventually you're asked to join the plastics.
(mutual crushes.)
Under the Protection of Regina George -reader is bullied for being nonbinary, Regina comes to their rescue and comforts reader at the end. (established relationship.)
Pretty Girl Part 1 -reader is a new student at NorthShore who keeps running into Regina, Regina defends reader and has her join the plastics. (starts as friends.)
Part 2
-Regina takes Reader to her house with the rest of the plastics. She gives Reader a makeover to be party-ready.
(friends.)
Second Chances -College AU. Regina asks reader out to a cafe date. Regina apologies to reader. They run into Gretchen and Karen after leaving the cafe. (first date.)
Shattered Glass
-Reader watched Regina get ready for school, comforting her when she had to end up wearing jogging pants because nothing else fit.
(established relationship.)
Bruising Kisses
-Gretchen tells Regina about a rumour where reader is close to another girl, Regina publicly claims reader in the hallway. When they get home, Regina's insecurities show and reader assures Regina they only have eyes for her. Lots of kisses.
(established relationship.)
Poly!Plastics
NorthShore Nowheres Part 1 -reader is the leader of NorthShore's infamous biker gang; NorthShore Nowheres. Plastics decide they're interested in reader, but so has Cady... (aware of, not yet dating.)
Slow Boil -reader doesn't get enough sleep, the next day people get on her nerves and it pushes her to a boiling point where she snaps at Cady for insulting her girls (established relationship.)
Insecurities -Reader feels left out when Cady joins the group: the girls don't notice right away. When date night rolls around and all they seem to talk about is Cady, Reader can't take it. (established relationship.)
Whats One More?
-Reader keeps helping out everyone to the point where it begins to effect her sleep schedule. Ms. Norbury notices and brings it to the attention of the plastics, who comfort Reader and get Reader to sleep.
(established relationship.)
Heatwave
-It's HOT. Regina is unaffected and makes them go outside for lunch, Reader faints from the heat and her girls (along with Ms. Norbury) take care of her.
(established relationship.)
I See the Light
-Regina's auditioned for the school play; Tangled as the role of Rapunzel. She gets it, of course. Only problem is the boys auditioning for Flynn Rider don't have a spark with her. It's so bad to the point where the play director considers dropping the play, reader steps in and saves the day.
(established relationship.)
Janis Imi'ike
Pretty Little Secret -Reader calls Janis in tears as she talks about her experiences at her school. Janis suggests she switches to NorthShore. The following Monday, Reader starts at NotthShore and things go from there. (established relationship.)
Gretchen Wieners
Miss Smooth Talker
-first date, where Gretchen's worried that reader will be like Jason. But reader surprises her and they have a great time at a fair. Mostly fluff.
(friends to lovers.)
Legend of Korra
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Avatar Korra
Gifted with Impurity Part 1 -reader is the daughter of Amon. Your father only ever allowed you to use blood bending, after your father's defeat you seek the help of Avatar Korra to get back what you have lost. (enemies to lovers.) Part 2 -You and Korra are attacked by Equalist chi blockers after your date. She defends you, you save her with blood bending. (established relationship.)
Dining with the Rich -Korra finds reader hanging out by the park river and offers to take her on a nice date, it's been a while since they had the chance to. (established relationship.)
Arcane
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Caitlyn Kiramman
Your Idiot -reader gets back from a heist, Caitlyn isn't pleased. The heist would later come back to interrupt their date. (established relationship.)
Jinx
Accidental Truth -reader and Jinx head to their usual hangout, falling for each other along the way. Jinx accidentally confesses her feelings and reader returns them. (friends to lovers.)
One thing I should've told You -reader and Jinx escape enforcers with the help of the magic reader has tried so hard to keep hidden. Jinx is mad at reader for keeping it hidden. (friends to lovers.)
Hazbin Hotel
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Carmilla x Velvette x Reader
To the Hip -reader invites herself to an Overlord meeting, cuddling with Velvette and accidentally disturbing the meeting. (established relationship.)
Devil in a Calm Sea -reader is in an Overlord meeting, keeping Velvette and Carmilla in check. Valentino keeps flirting with reader and reader loses it. (established relationship.)
Heathers
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Heather Chandler
Tipsy Hook Ups
-Reader gets spotted by Heather M and the two become fast friends, resulting in reader joining the Heathers & Veronica. Heather M invites Reader to a house party where drunk!Heather Chandler hooks up with drunk!Reader.
(undefined?)
Totally Killer
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Pam Miller
Drunk Girls Kiss
-Reader is best friends with the Mollys, specifically Pam Miller. What happens when they drink a little too much at a house party?
(friends to more?)
Wednesday
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Wednesday Addams
Soft Thorns
-Reader's on the more clumsy side, Wednesday's there to support Reader when they need it. Wednesday's "soft" side surprises everyone.
(siblings.)
Magic Stones
-reader is Norse Pagan. Wednesday and reader are out in town, as Enid had dragged them out for coffee when some town teens bully reader because reader had brought along a rune set and was doing a reading for Wednesday. Wednesday shows the teens not to mess with an Addams and they head back to Nevermore where Wednesday comforts reader.
(siblings.)
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deathbecomesthem · 6 months
Text
You Can't Go Home Again
Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader | 8.1K Words
Hawkins, Indiana - 2006. Reader and Eddie are both 40. The Reader has a 19 year old daughter that is mentioned.
Summary: You're both in town for a funeral. This is a love story.
Contains smut, death, love, booze, and weed. Just like all the best things in life, you take the good with the bad or your ass misses out.
+18 only. No one under the age of 18 has my consent to interact with anything on my blog. I am old enough to be your mother.
If you like this story, please let me know. Reblogs are strongly encouraged. If it doesn't get passed around, it dies in this spot. Thank you @jo-harrington and @br0ck-eddie for reading this over and telling me it's worth publishing on this blog. I love you both more than words can express.
---
You can’t go home again. Or so you’ve been told. Yet here you are, zooming down the familiar stretch of highway that leads back to that place. You turn the thought over in your mind while your hand surfs against the wind outside of your car window. You aren’t going home, not really. Hawkins isn’t your home anymore. It hasn’t been since you pulled out of your parents’ driveway over a decade ago.
At least he had the common decency to die as the leaves started changing color, you think to yourself while your hand surfs in the wind outside your open window. The view is really spectacular. The trees look like they’re on fire as the sun begins to dip below the canopy. Indiana is flatland, but it’s still pretty in its own way. Wide open, it bares itself to you. It is what it is. There are no hills to hide behind. Not in these parts, anyway.
As you cross the county line, you flip on the radio and tune to the local country station. Might as well acclimate, you think, but really, you’re happy to hear Bonnie Raitt’s bluesy voice as you pull off the highway. She’s singing about how she can’t make someone love her, and you hold up an imaginary glass to toast the sentiment. That’s something you’ve learned the hard way.
I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see.
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me.
You don’t realize a tear has escaped your eye until you feel it rolling down your cheek. You wipe it away angrily and wonder when every little thing will stop making the tears come. It doesn’t matter, not right now. Not this week. Tears are appropriate for a funeral, and it’s what everyone will expect to see from you. Even if they’re borrowed tears.
At the stop sign at the corner of Elm and Maple you sit longer than the 3 seconds required by law. It’s not until a BMW pulls up behind that you push up the indicator to hook a right. As you pass by the entrance to Forrest Hills, Deanna Carter is singing about Strawberry Wine and being 17. You can feel heat rising in your cheeks when you let your own memories flit across your mind. It’s true, the hot July moon really did see everything the summer of 1985. 
You chuckle at yourself and turn the wheel, left this time. The old motel is up on the right, just at the Hawkins line. You’ve spent too much of your life thinking about a time that only existed for a moment. And it doesn’t matter anyway, because despite all of the daydreams you’ve had about running into him throughout the years, it’s never happened. And you’ve never taken the time to look. You’ve only seen him in your dreams, and what a delight that’s been.
The gravel crunches under your tires, and the feeling that something’s been forgotten rises like a wave. Every couple of hours, it comes unbidden. No, you haven’t forgotten her, she’s in her new apartment on the other side of town from your own. Right now, she’s probably out to dinner with Janey. It’s discount movie night, and that’s something every college student knows to take advantage of. You’re not forgetting her, but her absence leaves a hole that can only be filled with anxiety. It’s something no one really tells you, something that you wouldn’t be able to understand from words alone - your children are a piece of yourself that moves freely in the world. The further you move from them, the deeper the cut. 
You’ve already decided you’ll try to call tonight, hoping against hope that she’s still at her place when you ring in. Hearing her voice will fill you a little, and maybe at least make sleep easier. Maddy told you she’d miss you, and you know that’s true. It’s a good thing to hear each other every day, even if it’s only for a moment.
When you come around a wide curve in the road, you’re pleased to see that the bar next to the motel is still standing, and that the lights are on. You’re getting drunk tonight. Why not? For the first time in a long time, you’re only accountable for yourself. Hawkins can swallow you up for the week, and no one outside of this place will see it. And then you’ll never step foot into Indiana again.
It’s stupid, and he knows it. He hasn’t been back here in years, and the only reason he’s doing this is because he liked the old guy. Wayne taught him to respect that. To show up for the family. Always go to the funeral, he’d told him, it eases the pain for the loved ones and makes ‘em remember there were people in the world that gave a shit about ‘em. When Eddie was a kid, he remembered how it felt to look out into the church and see so many faces with tears in their eyes. He remembered thinking that it was important that so many people turned out to say goodbye to his Mama, even if they were people that he never got to know outside of that mourning space. Wayne was right, it does matter. It does help. And he’s showing up, even if the thought of seeing you makes his stomach dip and his heartbeat faster. 
It’s not about you, you fucking idiot. The words have been surfacing in his mind over and over this last week. It’s not about him, and he knows that. At least, his brain knows that, but there’s a place deep inside of him that can’t help but think about the possibility of something. Of what? Well, if he thinks too hard about it, his dick takes over. There have been many times over the years that Eddie let his mind wander back to his 18th summer, when the heat of your bodies rivaled the heat of the sun beating down on the two of you. Many times he’s touched himself, trying to find the right way to move his fingers to replicate the way your hands felt on him. He’s ashamed of it. He tries not to think about it, but the news of the funeral seems to have lit that spark inside of him again, just as he thought the old smoldering embers were finally snuffed out.
He told Wayne he’d be driving up for the services, hoping the old guy would be able to bring the rambler to meet him in Hawkins. It would save him the cost of a motel room, and the death of the old man’s friend is an unwelcome reminder that everything comes to an end eventually. But Wayne isn’t going to make it. Eddie should’ve known. As much as Wayne taught him about being there for the family, Wayne was closer to Jim than his blood ever was. Especially you. Wayne would be the first to admit that Jim made his bed, and now he’ll spend his eternal rest in it. Wayne will mourn in his own way, he’ll come down when no one knows he’s there to pour one out on his buddy’s grave. That’s alright. It’s how Jim would want it. The funeral will be a farce. People saying goodbye to an old bastard that no one really liked.
When Eddie passes the southerly Indiana border, his ass really starts to get sore. He should’ve flown in and rented a car. He’s getting too old for these long bike rides, and the Indian’s seat isn’t made for this kind of trip. He’s never seen the need to replace the warehouse installed seat, his daily commutes to the construction trailer are short, and he takes a work truck out to the job sites. Maybe it’s time to think about investing in a vehicle that allows for a little more comfort. His ass is only going to spread more from here on out. Turning 30 was like hitting a brick wall, all the years of fun have finally caught up. Now that he’s passed the 40-year mark, every day is a new opportunity to feel aches in parts of his body he never thought about in his younger years. Sometimes he would swear that he could feel his small intestine groan when he caught a whiff of something greasy. And sometimes he can’t go through the night without having to hop out of bed to take a piss. The most obvious reminder for Eddie is looking in the mirror and seeing the way his old tattoos have turned gray over the years, especially his beloved bats. Working outside in the sun has made them fade, and no amount of touch ups can bring them back to their former glory. Sometimes he thinks about you running your fingers over them, the way you ran them along the outline of the wings. 
Time passes, and tattoos fade like memories. He knows too. He got to watch Wayne age, see the lines dig deeper and deeper into his face while he made sure Eddie kept a roof over his head. It’s amazing for him to think about the old guy, not really as old as he used to think. Eddie’s got more years than Wayne did back in those days. Close enough to be brothers more than father and son, but neither of them got a choice when it was time for his own Mama to go into the ground. The only one choosing in those days was Al, and every decision was a wrong one.
Eddie hates coming back to Hawkins, it stirs up the old shit he doesn’t think about anymore. It’s easier to see those times through rose colored glasses when he isn’t smack dab in the middle of the town that cut him so deeply in so many different ways. But he’s showing up. He’s doing this thing because it’s right. It has nothing to do with the minute possibility that he might get to find out how the years have treated you. Especially since he knows how you left Hawkins. But time does heal. Eddie’s proof of that.
The roadside motel is in better shape than you expect, so you strike your mental chalkboard on the pro side. At least you have a clean bed to sleep in for the next 6 nights. At least you won’t be forced to sleep on Uncle Jim’s couch. You think about what it will feel like being in his little shack. You think about how his own kids won’t show up to sift through his shit belongings to pull out any hidden treasures before the bank throws it all in the dumpster. You’re doing this thing for your father, because he asked you to. You need to make sure the stuff that ended up with Jim when your grandma died doesn’t get lost forever. No cash value to any of it, but it’s worth something to your dad, and he can’t face the ghost of his brother. Not even for his mother’s wedding band, or the family bible.
Your first thought when you opened the door to your home for the week was that you could still smell the faint scent of bleach hanging in the air. Good. These kinds of places have more personality, but it’s always a roll of the dice about cleanliness. The bed is soft, and the comforter smells of Snuggle. Also good. The scent is nostalgic, you can feel the muscles in your shoulders relax. You’ll be able to sleep here. You think that’s exactly what you’ll do. The heavy shades are drawn, so it’s full dark and quiet. You’ve got the room at that butts against the woods, but it doesn’t matter anyway, your car is the only one in the small parking lot tonight. 
You’re sinking deeper into the mattress, and you begin to float away. You sit on the edge of sleep, about to topple over it when your ears begin to register a distant sound growing closer. It’s a purr that grows into a deep growling rumble. You stumble to your feet to peek your head out from behind your curtain. It’s full dark now, but the orange glow of the lights at each door along the row of rooms illuminates the parking lot enough for you to see the bike and its rider. Leather clad, head to toe, he’s wearing a small bucket helmet - the kind your daddy used to say they’d have to scoop your brains out of if you wrecked - and sunglasses. You watch him make his way to the door next to your own and let himself inside. 
Well, you can think of a worse neighbor to have. At least you know you’re not alone out here. Maybe you’ll make a friend while you’re stuck in the hell that is Hawkins, Indiana. Maybe he'll let you bum a smoke or two.
You think about your call to Maddy while you walk down the street to the Hideout. She’s fine. All good. She got her new set of pots and pans from the big Sears out at the mall, and she didn't even need your help picking them out. Her dad did a good job. You’re happy for her. A girl doesn’t forget her first move away from home, and you suspect she's more nervous than she's been letting on. You can almost feel the butterflies beat in your own belly at the thought of rent checks and overtime while making it to class every morning. You hope she knows she can talk to you about it. You hope she remembers that you promised to help her if she gets into any jams. Maybe. Maybe not. She deserves to keep her secrets if it's how she wants to go about life. You'll be there either way.
Before you even open the door to the bar, you can smell the smoke and booze wafting through the cracks. That’s perfect. It’s why you’re here. You look down at your black jeans and smile. It took a few good jumps to get into, but your ass looks fantastic in them. You think you might even manage to get a drink out of someone, as long as the clientele is the same as it was when you were here last. Tammy Wynette is coming through the speakers of the jukebox, and the old curtains are pulled across the jury-rigged stage at the back. No band tonight. Just a couple of old drunks passing time at the sticky counter. You take the stool at the end, back facing the door, and think about what song you’ll choose for the room. 
“Hello, ma'am,” a bright eyed 20 something from behind the bar greets you as you shift your weight to get comfortable on the cracked cushion under your ass. Ma’am. You decide to let that one slide and give him a big smile. “What can I get for you?”
“Oh, I think I’d like a whiskey sour, kind sir.” The words escape your lips without much thought. You haven’t had one in ages. Possibly the last time you had a drink as sweet as a whiskey sour was in this very bar. It wasn’t hard to get served with Big Dave behind the bar, especially when Eddie and the boys played.
The boy nods at you and gets to work on your drink. You see him flip through a rolodex of cards hidden under the bar, cheat sheets. He likely spends his nights pouring pitchers of Budweiser, rarely having to figure out how to make mixed drinks. Especially when the customers are good ole boys between the ages of 35 and 70. Even back in your day, the girls only showed up when there were boys their own age on the stage. You wonder if Bev is around somewhere. If she’s still kicking.  The way the place still feels the same as it did back in '84 tells you she's still the owner of this shit stain of an establishment. But it's her shit stain, and good for her.
The bartender sets the glass in front of you with a cocktail napkin under it, fancy, and you feel a draft when the door at your back swings open. The drink isn’t bad, but you wouldn’t know if it was wrong. You don’t do mixed drinks. You’re a neat bourbon drinker. The sweet liquor does what it’s meant to, because you swear you can almost smell something familiar from the past as a figure goes past you. Like smoke and Old Spice with a hint of weed. This place is full of ghosts, you think, returning your focus back to glass coated in ice sweat.
“Hey, man. Three Wise Men and 3 fingers of Jim Beam.” The voice of the newcomer at the bar makes your head snap up. You watch his profile for a second. You see his hand disappear inside his jacket and come out with a pack of Camels. With a flick of his Zippo, his face is illuminated by the glow of the flame. You’ve seen it so many times, but even from this distance you catch sight of the creases that didn’t exist the last time you saw him. You wonder if you really did fall asleep if you’re really back in your motel room having one of your dreams again. The too sweet liquor on your tongue is real, and so must Eddie Munson be real.
You can’t peel your eyes from him, so you don’t try. You keep your gaze fixed to his face and wait for him to notice you. There are no words in you, and you’re afraid your legs will buckle if you try to stand up and walk over to him. You look at his hand, black lines decorate his knuckles. The ring on his left hand is silver, and you’re happy to see it sit on his middle finger. You banish the thought and break your gaze for a second to shake your stupid head.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Eddie’s voice echoes through the room, and everyone looks at him, even the drunk in the corner that can barely keep his head up. “Jesus Christ.”
Blood rushes to your head as he stands and makes his way over to you. Your heart is in your throat. You’d refused to let yourself believe that seeing Eddie this week was anything more than just a fleeting fantasy. The same fantasy that’s been playing through your mind for years. Pinch yourself, you fool. Too late, you’re standing on wobbly legs and giving him the kind of awkward hug reserved for old classmates - and apparently old lovers.
You break apart slowly, and sink down into your barstools, eyes never breaking contact. You think if you look away right now, he might turn into smoke and escape through the air vents. Your hands are on your lap, body still turned towards Eddie, Eddie Munson, and you pinch the skin between your thumb and index finger on your left hand until it hurts. This is real.
You’re both brought out of your shared reverie when the kid behind the bar slides Eddie’s drinks down to his new spot, along with the ashtray holding his still smoldering cigarette. Without a thought in your head, you pick it up and take a long drag before pinching it between your fingers to hand it back to him, filter out.
“So.” You exhale smoke through the word and let it hang for a second while Eddie brings the filter to his lips. The smoke of a kiss between the two of you hangs heavy in the air. “Eddie Munson, what brings you here tonight? Is Corroded Coffing playing a set later?”
Eddie’s crooked grin sits on his lips the same as it ever has, but it’s complemented by more fine lines at the corners of his eyes. You think it would be something to run a finger along them and feel the texture of his skin there. 
“You know, I had this-” Eddie shakes his head and makes a noise like a huff of incredulity at what he hasn’t even said yet, “-I had this idea that I might see you here tonight. I’m sorry about Jim.”
“Oh,” you can’t hide the surprise on your face. The sudden presence of Eddie has scrubbed your mind clean of your purpose in Hawkins this week. Uncle Jim is dead. You try for a small frown, but decide against it and say, “yeah. I’m here for the funeral. Also, I promised my dad to go through the house before everything ends up at the dump.”
Eddie nods. His eyes dart across your face and then down to your hands. You’re suddenly very aware of the way your ring finger on your left hand still holds the indent of a band that’s been missing for months now. You think it may never truly leave you. You wonder if he’s seen it.
“Well, I think this is fate.” Eddie slaps his hand down on the bar, still as sticky as ever, and waves over the bartender that’s drying a glass with a bar towel. He turns back to you and says, “We’re drinking to that old bastard tonight.”
“Do you remember,” Eddie’s voice is too loud, but the only person left in the bar other than the two of you is a drunk with his head resting on the counter. He doesn’t seem bothered enough to lift his head, “breaking into the abandoned warehouse? Oh god, you were shaking like a leaf ‘Eddie, we should leave. What if someone’s hiding out in here?’” Eddie’s impersonation of your 18-year-old voice is both insulting and wildly inaccurate.
“You fucking asshole, you were the one that hauled ass out of there when a squirrel crawled out from under a desk. The noise you made,” you snort at the memory, “you sounded like my mom that time she found a dead mouse in her sugar dish.”
“That little fucker went straight for me, you can’t deny it.” Eddie’s finger is pointed directly between your eyes in an accusation. On instinct, you grab it with your fist and twist his arm. This is an old routine, one that the two of you had down pat all those years ago. Except now, Eddie’s a lot stronger, and he’s able to twist his arm back. You find your wrist in his strong grip, and you have no idea how it got there. 
This is when you notice it. This is Eddie in front of you, but he’s not a boy. It’s not just your body that’s changed since the last time you were together. With his jacket thrown on the stool beside him, his forearms are bare before you. Sinful. Old ink and new, black lines and gray. But right now, it’s the flexed muscle that’s caught your eye. Oh, to be held by him.
The laughter in your chest dies and Eddie releases you. He waves the bartender down before he can call out a last call. One more round for the road, and you’re wishing you had a way to freeze this moment in time and keep him here. 
But you can’t, so you take your final shots and hug each other. Jackets are thrown over shoulders, and you make your way side by side to the door. 
“I’m staying at the motel on the corner. You should stop by sometime, I’ll be here all week.” You shove your shoulder into Eddie’s playfully and find that the booze has made your feet a little unstable. He puts an arm around you to keep you from stumbling.
“Well, let me walk you home then.” His arm doesn’t leave your side. You’re both hyper aware of the way his thumb strokes against the patch of soft exposed skin at your waist while you wander up the sidewalk, a little zig zag to your movements. 
It’s been a night of sharing memories with no talk of the present. No acknowledgement of that indent on your finger where a ring lived for so long. You let yourself drink in the cool autumn air with Eddie’s arms holding you close to him. You let yourself feel held by him. You let yourself imagine that maybe this is real, and you let a sliver of moonlight pierce the darkness you’ve been hiding yourself in for these long months.
“This is my stop.” You pull away and lean your back against the door to your room at the end of rooms that line the facade of the old motel. It’s dark out, and the pale orange glow of the light above the door frame does little more than cast shadows across Eddie’s face. He could be mistaken for that boy if not for the way his shoulders stand wider than you remember. “Will you come in, Eddie?”
He tastes like whisky and smoke, and that’s just how you remember him. Gods, his mouth. His tongue moves swiftly across your lips, and your knees begin to sink. Those strong arms hold you up, they keep you in your spot so he can take his fill. This is the kind of kiss, one that makes you weak in the knees, that you thought was a thing that only existed in your past.
“So, yes?” You break apart from his kiss and rest your head in his chest to catch your breath. 
“Yes, please.” Eddie kisses the top of your head and breathes in your hair before spinning you around to face the door. “Open the door, Sweetheart.”
The clicking of the door, and the snap of the deadbolt. Those things are clear, the anticipation of what comes next makes you laser focused on the feel of the metal under your fingers. And then it’s a flurry of mouths and hands. Teeth clicking, noses bumping. A stumble over a shoe in your shared path. You fall to the bed in a heap, it’s surprising how many articles of clothes have been discarded in the short distance between door and mattress. 
“Is this real, or am I dreaming?” Eddie whispers into your neck, hot breath on the spot that he remembers makes you keen. His teeth test the skin, and you reward him with a gasp and a roll of your hips. “Fuck, I don’t care if I wake in a mess like a teenager. If this is a dream, I never want to leave it.”
You’d forgotten the way Eddie uses his words, but your body remembers the steps. Fingers waltz along your wider curves, they’re a quick study and map out the places that make you whine. Make you catch your breath. This is what he thinks about so often, the way you get lost under his touch. Your trust in him is still alive, and his need reaches a fever pitch.
“Eddie, please.” It’s all you can say, but it’s enough to snap Eddie out of his reverie. His hands are stroking the valley at your chest while his cock throbs against the cotton fabric of his boxers, hypnotized  by the way your skin gives under the pressure of his fingers. 
As above, so below. Hot mouths reach into one another as he spreads your legs and sinks his length into your heat. For a fleeting moment, it's a perfect union of bodies. Two as one. You need your breath as he reaches deeper inside you. He rests his forehead on yours and snaps harder into you. His open mouth takes the groans that leave you as he hits that tender and hard to reach place inside.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” Eddie’s words float around your face as you reach your peak. It’s the words, not the ecstasy, which draw the tears from your eyes. Beautiful. You believe him, how could you not? You want to tell him that he’s beautiful, because he is. Instead you wrap your arms around him and kiss him while he cums. The last rocks of his hips move in rhythm with the languid kisses you share.
—-
You wake in the morning to find crumpled sheets in the space that was occupied by Eddie Munson as you drifted off to sleep. It really was a dream, you think, but the stickiness between your thighs tells you that there was a man in this bed last night. The idea that he’s left without a trace doesn’t even pass your mind, because not Eddie. He doesn’t do that. 
You ignore the pounding at your temple and drop your feet to the carpet. A full bladder is an urgent thing that can’t be denied. The freezing tile under your toes jolts you to attention. You map your next steps while you piss, and then wash your hands. You take the time to brush your teeth before heading back into the dark bedroom to find an outfit for the day. It doesn’t matter where Eddie has wandered off to, you need to head over to Jim’s. Eddie can find you later. Eddie will find you later. That’s something you know. Right now? You need coffee. It’s when you go to put your shoes on that you see it. A tiny scrap of paper on the side table next to your keys.
I didn’t want to wake you. I had some business to take care of while I’m in town. Dinner? I’m staying in the room next to yours. I’ll be back by 6.
You shake your head. Your boozy brain missed it last night. Of course it’s Eddie in the room next to yours. The thought of him on that bike makes your head spin. Makes you throb. Dinner, sure. Food is fuel and you’re gonna fucking need it. In the meantime, you have a job to do.
The way to Jim’s house is familiar but strange. Like trying to hold onto a dream as you’re starting to wake. The roads have the same names, but the trees are taller. It feels smaller, the houses closer together. In no time, you’re pulling up the drive to the shack that stands at the far end of Oak Street. It’s easy to forget it, set a little farther back than the other homes, hidden in the shade of the oaks the road is named for.
With a deep breath, you step out of your car and move swiftly to the front door. The smell hits you immediately. It’s not overwhelmingly awful, but it’s not good. Mildew and smoke. It smells empty. So you fill it with the fall air by opening every window. You’re happy to keep your jacket on to replace the smoke with the smell of the dry oak leaves that litter the yard around the house.
The soundtrack to your day digging through the life of your Uncle Jim is provided by the records stacked up by the player in his living room. Bob Dylan, CCR, and Pink Floyd. It could be worse, so you’re grateful. The treasures you discovered hold no true financial value, but they are priceless. Photo albums of long-lost family members, depression glass cake stands and punch bowls, and the piece de resistance - the family bible. You run your fingers across the leather cover and smile. You did good, kid. Grandma’s ring, though. You’ll come back at least one more time and truly tear the place apart before you hit the road. If it’s here, it’s going home with you.
Rick’s place is still home for Eddie, more so than the trailer park ever was. Wayne’s home was never Hawkins, and it served him well to be back in the wild mountains of West Virginia from where the Munsons hail. But Rick is a Hawkins institution, and he’s only ever had love for Eddie without the pressure of the constant concern that weighed on Wayne and Eddie’s relationship. That’s how it is with a father and son. Rick is the fun uncle that taught Eddie a way to bring in cash without being under the thumb of some asshole. It’s served him well throughout his life, even now. Eddie can find work anywhere, he carries his skills in his hands.
Rick is expecting Eddie, and he’s sitting out front when the Indian hums up the road that hugs Lovers’ Lake. It’s still pretty out here from Eddie’s perspective, especially with the trees still hanging on to the leaves of various colors. Eddie’s already thinking about getting you to come out here with him before you both leave town at the end of the week. As soon as he caught sight of you last night he had decided to wring out as much as he could from this brief reunion. No time to waste, especially if maybe there’s someone you’re going home to. He’s not going to ask that question. He doesn’t want to know. For now, you’re both here, and that’s more than he thought could ever be possible. 
“Eddie! Oh man, it’s been too long, brother.” Rick’s on his feet and meeting Eddie in the driveway for a bear hug. “Sight for sore eyes.”
They sit outside on the back deck for hours, talking about the old days and the new. They watch the sunlight dance along the ripples in the water when the occasional fish comes to the surface for a waterbug. They pass joints back and forth, and sip on the instant coffee that Rick swears is better than that overpriced bullshit the coffee houses try to con people into buying. And then they get down to business for a few minutes over a game of pool. Like the old days. It’s healing to remember there is a place in this godforsaken hellhole that Eddie can feel like himself. It was never all bad, but nothing ever is. Eddie knows this, his own life is a mixed bag. He has to take the bad or else lose out on the potential good.
The sun is starting to sink down below the trees when Eddie swings his leg over the seat of his bike to head back to the other side of town. He’s glad. He’s hoping that you’ve decided to accept his dinner invitation. The memories were fun to relive, but his mind is whirring with questions about who you are now. He’d like to hear it. He’d like to tell you about the bands he plays with on the weekends back in Charleston. Last night was nice, but he’d like to spend some time with you while the lights are on. He let his cock carry him away too quickly last night, he hopes he gets a chance to take his time with you tonight. His thighs vibrate from the hum of the engine while he weaves down the streets. He’s half hard remembering the way you smell and the sound of your voice when you get lost with him.
“You’d really like her. She’s a natural musician, like her dad. I’m just glad she’s sticking close to home for college. I worry enough even with her living less than a mile away.” You’re rambling on about Maddy while Eddie watches your lips move. He’d had a feeling there was at least one kid back home, he’s dated enough moms to recognize the signs. 
“Oh, a girl after my own heart. I already love her.” Eddie’s thumb strokes the back of your hand, his arm reaching across the table. Your plates are empty, and your glasses are drained. Your concern about telling Eddie you have an adult child is forgotten now, and you’re gushing. Just as it should be.
“I’m sorry, I’ll stop talking about Maddy for a while. She’s the sun my life orbits around.” You tip back your martini glass, searching for any last remnants of gin. No luck.
“Yeah, you’re a good mom.” That thumb rubs again. “Of course you are.” Eddie looks around the restaurant and watches as the servers very purposely place chairs on top of tables, inching ever closer to the one where the two of you are seated. “I think we should probably let them shut it down, head back to the motel.”
Head back to the motel. That sounds really good, because Eddie’s wearing a tight black t-shirt that leaves little to the imagination. You can just make out the farmer’s tan that starts at the middle of his biceps. You hadn’t noticed it as much last night, but Eddie’s skin is sunkissed from years of working outdoors. A contract carpenter, he told you, and you could almost smell the sawdust and varnish when he explained about his special word working projects. You want to see them. You want to touch them. You have no doubt that they’re unique and special pieces. Eddie’s always had the ability to pull beauty out of the mundane.
“Will you drive, Eddie? Take me the long way home?” You’re already handing him your keys before he can answer. Of course he will. He’ll do anything you want, it’s always been that way. He’d stop the world if it would make you smile.
“Let’s go, Love. You can rest your head on my shoulder.” And that’s what you do. The walk to the car is slow, but Eddie’s arms need to stay around you. It’s where they belong.
He does take the long way, hooking a right when he pulls out of Enzo’s parking lot and heading for the back roads. One hand sits on your thigh. Your head can’t reach his shoulder in the car, so you lean it back and close your eyes. Linda Ronstadt’s been cheated and mistreated, she’s wondering when will she be loved? Some day, Linda, even if it’s for just a fleeting time. The idea pricks your chest, and you push it down. We won’t think about the end until it gets here.
“Will you be my date for the funeral, Eddie? I might not go if I have to do it alone.” You keep your eyes closed, and he squeezes your leg. He’ll go with you, you already know that.
“Yep. And then we’ll go back to the bar and get shitfaced. Bev will love it. Give the old gal something to be pissed about.” You snort at the thought of Bev trying to wrangle two 40 somethings trying to relive their youthful dalliances. Poor woman. But she would probably love it.
“I like your plan, Ed. Now tell me, did you smoke it all, or do you have some weed back at the motel?” You turn to face him, you want to see that crooked grin of his. “I’ve gotta call Maddy when we get back, but I think it’d be nice to sit outside and get nice and toasty.”
“Yeah, well, I might have a little. Can I ask you something?” Eddie turns the wheel and you’re looking at downtown Hawkins. You nod, but your mouth is dry thinking about the possibilities of what he wants to know that you haven’t already told him. “What kind of an asshole wouldn’t hold on tight to someone like you when you’re so fucking perfect?”
“Christ, Munson. Are you high already?” You pull a cigarette out of the pack sitting on the dash and light it. Just a drag before handing it back over to him. You’re both giggling, it was too much. “Well, you might have been the first to let me go, but you weren’t the last. But look at us now, hm? I think it’s better like this. Makes you realize that the grass isn’t always greener, ya know?”
Eddie blows smoke out of his nose and quietly mutters, “I was blind.”
“Nah. What I told you back then is still true, I’ll take what I can get from you, Baby. Any time, any place. It doesn’t have to be forever.” Eddie bites the inside of his cheek at your words but keeps his response in his mind. 
Eddie sits in his room rolling joints while you’re on the other side of the wall talking to your daughter. All that talk about the kid, and no mention of the dad. Eddie knows who Maddy’s dad is because word travels fast. He’s never really thought about the guy much, but Eddie’s pretty sure he’s the one responsible for the sadness living behind your smile. 
Eddie pulls the comforter off his bed. He’s taking it outside with him to wait for you on the bench that’s at the entrance to the cemetery across the street from the motel. There are no streetlights out here, and the dead won’t mind the company. They never do. The plans he had for this week are fading into one persistent thought - be with you as much as possible before it’s too late. The threat of Sunday coming too fast hangs over every second that ticks past. 
It’s harder for Eddie to push those thoughts away than it is for you, because of the regret. He can’t help but feel it, even though he knows that 1984 Eddie is not the same as Eddie today. He’s learned how to spot a good thing, and that’s you. The idea of holding onto you with both hands doesn’t send a lightning bolt of fear through his guts like it did when he was 18. This couldn’t have happened then, whatever this is. It’s a battle in his mind, trying to see through the haze of the memories, how real can it be when everything is shrouded by the past.
The inward battle halts when he sees the door to your room open. He focuses on your form growing larger with each step closer to him. He watches each step of your feet until you’re looming over him, blotting out the weak light from the motel across the street. You have a soft smile on your lips, and he memorizes the way those lips feel on his forehead before you flop down on the bench next to him. He spreads the comforter over your lap, and pulls you into his side. 
“This is so romantic, Eddie. You, me, and the sleeping dead.” You sigh and nuzzle your nose into his neck. “You smell nice.” Your lips brush against his skin and the hair stands up in answer.
“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” Eddie asks as he places a joint between your lips. “I’m hoping to wake up next to you again, but I don’t wanna make any assumptions.” Sparks fly out from his Zippo, and you breathe in the weed smoke before answering.
“Baby, as far as I’m concerned, you could cancel your room for the rest of the week and move into mine. You don’t even need to ask what I want. This is it.” You look up at him and place the joint in his mouth. It’s hard to see his features in the dark, but you think his eyes look a little misty. “Hey now, don’t give me sad eyes, Eddie. We’ve talked about this already. I’ll take what I can get.”
��That’s bullshit.” Eddie’s voice is low and you’re already feeling a little lighter. It’s been a long time since you’ve smoked, and you can feel the cloud starting to creep across your thoughts.
“Oh? Well never mind then. Fuck you, Munson.” Your retort, but there’s no bite. You pluck the joint out of his fingers.
“I just mean, you deserve better than that, and I’m sorry.” Eddie kisses the top of your head, an apology of sorts.
“We all deserve better than we get, Baby. You should know that. It’s easier to accept it than to try and demand what other people can’t give.” You think the words came out right and can’t muster the energy to care if they didn’t.
“Yeah, but it’s still not right.” 
Right or not, it’s a truth you accepted a long time ago. It doesn’t stop the pain, but it kills the resentment. What more can you do? Life is hard enough.
The light stays on in your room tonight. The weed slows down time. It swallows you and Eddie up, and gives you the space to study each other. The rough calluses on his fingertips travel along the lines of your body, creating a roadmap in his memory. He needs to remember how to find you again, even when you’re a thousand miles away. He needs to taste you on his lips. 
The hunger is as strong as the previous night, it’s why your center on Eddie’s face. It’s why your nose leads the way down his torso, inhaling the smell trapped in the dark hair at the base of his cock. He tastes how you remember. Your mouth wraps around him while his tongue and fingers make you sing. He keeps one wide palm planted on the fat of your ass, his rip is hard enough to bruise. He keeps you in the spot until hot tears spill down your cheeks with the intense pleasure of it all. He keeps you there until he spills himself inside your mouth. And you drop, head on his hip, looking at his softening cock in front of you. You lean over and kiss its tip.
Eddie’s giggles are music to your ears. He suddenly needs to see your face, but your legs are still spread in front of him. He slaps your ass, hard enough to sting, but it works. You slowly move your legs over to the side, freeing him so he can crawl down to the end of the bed. He can taste himself on your lips and is surprised to feel his cock jump. You need a little more time than that, Bud.
“I need to tell you something.” Eddie’s arms are wrapped around your sweaty body, and he’s peppering kissing along the bridge of your nose. You release a questioning hum, trying to focus on his words. Sleep is calling to you. “I’m going to the funeral with you tomorrow. I’m going to Jim’s with you to finish the scavenger hunt from hell. I’m spending every fucking second with you until we both leave this shithole. But I don’t want that to be the end.”
“Everything ends, Baby.” You mutter into the skin of his chest. You feel his breath hitch and wonder if there are tears to match the stutter. “But it doesn’t have to end so soon if you don’t want it to.”
“I want to hold onto this, Love. I think we both know this -” Eddie points a finger between the two of you, “- is something special. It always has been. I’ll fucking pick my shit up and move to wherever you are. I won’t even complain about the snow. At least not the first year.”
“I’ll complain enough for the both of us. I always do.” You kiss his chest and look up at him. There are tears, You reach up to rub them off his cheek. You look at the hair at his temple and see the way the gray hair threads through his dark curls. You think it would be something, wouldn’t it? To see the gray overtake the black over the years. And you know Eddie doesn’t say anything to you that he doesn’t mean. It’s not something he’s capable of doing. “For Eddie Munson, my door is always open.”
“What about Maddy’s dad?” Eddie chokes on the words a little, but he gets them out along with a fresh tear that leaks from the corner of his eye. That’s something you’ve always loved about Eddie, he’s never hidden the tears when they show up.
“That’s been over for a while, Ed. I should’ve told you that.” You stroke his cheek and smile. “You’re down bad, old man. Wow, that’s really something, ain’t it?”
Eddie’s laugh rumbles through both of you. The years in front of you don’t look so bleak when you picture Eddie’s arm around your waist. The tears won’t sting so much if you have each other to wipe them away. It’s not too late, you’ve got two feet above ground. You’ve got two hands to hold onto this thing, and Eddie’s hands are holding on just as tight now. The memories and the future swirl together, and you thank god for those years apart. It’s so much sweeter this time around. 
You fall asleep with Eddie inside of you. I love yous breathed into your mouths. Eddie’s going to have to replace that seat on his bike if he expects you to ride on it with him. He’s adding it to the mental list he has running. Tell Wayne he’s moving closer. Pack his shit up in a Uhaul. Drive a couple hundred miles. Replace the bike seat. Wrap his arms around you and never let go.
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