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mins-fins · 3 months

Text

space science.

&&. poor you, poor miserable, troubled, unfavorable you.

pairing: liu yangyang x m!reader

genre: angst, bittersweet tragedy 🙁

warnings: mentions of abuse

word count: 1.7k

notes: i wanted to make people sad today guys 😆 okay i didnt mean to make this my yangyang fic debut on my account and im sorry but you guys.. it's just needed okay! i need to make a whole wayv angst thing wait………(hendery is next 😈)

"what do you wanna be when you grow up?"

you whisper against yangyang's ears, eyes closed as you lean your head onto his shoulder. your arms were wrapped around his chest, leaning on his shoulders as he carried you on his back, his hands rested on your thighs. yangyang's eyes trailed over the path before him, observing the familiar rock pattern littering the ground, one he recognizes.

yangyang had nothing in mind, too focused on the weight on his back, seemingly unbothered even with how long the two of you have been walking.

"i don't know yet.." he mutters, his voice low as he continued walking, showing no signs of tiredness in his voice or actions. he continued to walk forward, venturing through the forest down a familiar path, one he'd walk down so many times when he was younger.

you hold onto yangyang tightly, scared he might be mad at having to carry you. that probably isn't the case, especially because he's never had any trouble carrying you before, but that doesn't stop the thoughts from invading your mind.

"does y/n still dream of becoming an astronaut?" yangyang asks, his shoes stepping on rocks and dust, creating sounds that echoed in the forest. his question is meant to be a distraction for you, it's meant to make you forget the pain you are currently in. the more he thought about it, the more he remembered details of your life that he thought he'd long since forgotten.

it was when you two were in elementary school, you told him that you wanted to be an astronaut when you grew up.

i want to see the stars up close! he remembers you exclaiming, so passionately, eyes shining so bright, it was like they were stars themselves.

years have passed, and that dream was nothing more than the fantasies created by a child. you created it as an escape, the stars in the sky were the only things that truly gave you hope in times where you were suffering at home.

whenever you couldn't take it, you'd find yourself at a familiar place, your safe place, as you liked to call it, a place that only the two of you knew about. a small secluded treehouse in the forest behind his parents house, where you could escape from the chaos of your home life, where you could peacefully sit and stare the stars.

you'd always make wishes on the stars, hoping that one day, your life would become just a little more bearable, that mom wouldn't be mad at you all the time, that your dreams would become a reality in somehow or another.

you had now been reduced to nothing but a fragile human being, one who couldn't be put back together no matter how much yangyang tried.

"i don't want to anymore.." you mutter, blinking your tears away as you stare at yangyang's face. you give a sad smile, and continue. "i just want to be with you forever" you whisper, hiding your face in his neck.

yangyang smiles bitterly at the statement, the chances of that happening was slim to none. it was an innocent statement, yes, but with the way you two had turned out, the idea of you two staying seemed more harmful to you than anything.

yangyang loves you, really, he does— but he can't help you.

his emotions always confuse him when he's with you, he can't control the overwhelming sadness, anger, or happiness he feels when around you.

but what can he even do? it's not like you did all of this to yourself, you were never given a happy life because your mother is a bitter women, hated seeing you turn into everything she couldn't— to the point that she'd destroy anything that made you happy.

he could never do anything to help you, all he could do was watch, observe. he would see all the new bruises on your body and be absolutely useless in the situation.

he would always offer to carry you when you were especially hurt, which pretty much became the thing for you too. there would be moments where you'd be too slow, so hurt that walking would hurt you, and yangyang wouldn't even ask, he'd just let you jump on his back and he'd carry you to your safe place.

sometimes, yangyang feels guilty, because no matter what, he can't save you.

sometimes; not always.

helping you has always been yangyang's thing, from the moment the two of you met at five, the idea of being able to help you, save you from the nightmare which was your moms house, was what constantly reassured him.

he promised you that someday, he'd get you out of there, that the two of you could run away together forever, and you wouldn't have to worry about your parents, or school, or hurting.

you were so beautiful, so innocent, you had a smile so bright it seemed that you could heal all disasters with it. yangyang never knew why the urge to protect you seemed to come naturally, but it just did, you didn't deserve to be in that kind of environment, he couldn't believe the kinds of things your mom put you through.

you were vulnerable, so easy to break.

and so is he— but yangyang would never admit it, because the idea of anybody seeing that side of him made him want to vomit, no one, and he means no one is allowed to know that, because it's stupid, it's idiotic, it's—

he can't explain it, he feels like he's wasting his time trying to come up with excuses in his mind.

he doesn't even know if he can muster up enough mind to actually look at you.

your a crybaby, weak, pathetic, stupid—

oh poor poor y/n, poor sad y/n, poor y/n who can't stand up for himself, poor y/n who still believes the stars will save him, poor little y/n whose been reduced to nothing but a fragile mess!

though the words always work their way into yangyang's mind, he could never leave you behind.

yangyang finally stops, having made it to the destination you begged him to take you too.

he originally wanted to refuse— because after all this time you couldn't just keep running away from your problems, choosing to go to some treehouse in the middle of a forest and wishing on the stars instead of confronting your issues head on, like you should be.

but no matter how hard he tried, yangyang didn't refuse, just bit his tongue and agreed. making you unhappy was the last thing he wanted to do, you were hurt, in pain, unwell, and if this was the one thing he could do for you, then so be it.

yangyang curses himself for easily being influenced by you..

"yangyang.. i love you" you whisper, voice shaky as you spoke. yangyang hums, hiking you higher up his back as he climbs the stairs to your safe place.

"i love you too, y/n.." he says back, his expression remaining empty as he gives a mere glance at your face, at your watery eyes.

yangyang slowly takes you off his back, placing you down onto the couch right beside the entrance. he performs the action gently, as if afraid of breaking you if he dropped you down too recklessly.

your obsessed, says yangyang's friends, you've become too attached to him, always clinging onto him no matter what. you shouldn't be putting all your issues onto his shoulders, being dependent on him to always help you when your in need, he deserves better, they all say, better than you.

yangyang knows you too well to even be annoyed by how you act anymore. your presence has become comforting to him, it's not exactly easy to explain, because he'd probably come off as creepy if he even tried to voice his thoughts about you, he's just so used to you being there beside him—

like there's something wrong when you aren't there with him.

people say that the love you harbor for yangyang isn't normal, your more infatuated than in love, people say that yangyang should run while he has the chance..

but yangyang knows more than they do, you could never truly hurt him even if you wanted to, you can't even hurt a fly, let alone hurt him. he's pretty much the only person keeping you up, you'd be gone if he wasn't around, you need him.

he's the only person you can count on, your mother is shitty and your father is gone.

"are we going to look at the stars?" your voice snaps yangyang out his distracting thoughts process, and you immediately circle your arms around his waist when he places himself beside you.

yangyang lets you squeeze him, your cold fingers rub against the skin of his waist, but he doesn't even shiver at the touch anymore, instead settling into the solace of it, a feeling he recognizes from you.

he doesn't respond immediately, instead pointing up at the opening in the ceiling, where they could clearly see the stars through the glass. yangyang had installed it into the treehouse himself so you could stare at the stars without having to go outside.

"orion" he states, his other arm coming to rest around your waist. "and ursa major".

"i guess were not seeing cassiopeia tonight.." you mutter, not exactly to yangyang, but more to yourself. your voice conveys disappointment, but you quickly shake off whatever thoughts you were having.

"you can still make a wish, though".

yangyang knows you, he knows you so well, it was often that you'd make a wish when you saw the constellation cassiopeia, thinking of it as a good luck charm because of it's connection to your birthday.

you lower your head, eyes pointed to the floor. "they never come true anyway.."

yangyang slowly retracts his hand and moves it to intertwine your fingers, he doesn't say any more, and neither do you, a comfortable silence settles between you two.

"aren't you afraid y/n?"

the question is a surprising one, but you don't say much about it, just let out an airy laugh, giving a little squeeze at his hand. "i'll be alright because your here".

a small smile comes to your face, but it's sad, your unwell, your sick, your sad, and yangyang can't help you, no matter how much he tries.

oh poor you—

whose been reduced to nothing but a fragile mess.

#liu yangyang #yangyang #nct #wayv #nct u #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #wayv drabbles #nct x reader #nct x male reader #wayv x reader #wayv x male reader #yangyang x reader #yangyang x male reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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kaeyapilled · 1 year

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hey! your kaeya takes are so real!!! I was wondering if you had any good fic recs?? I want to read something that has good kaeya characterization (+bonus if it's ragbros that isn't just them crying and hugging it out like you were talking about) and am tired of scrolling through tags

!! omg thank you im so honored to hear that people like my takes lol

fic recs huh!! i have some!! do you mind it if most of them are about child kaeya? (i hadnt realized how many of my bookmarks focused on his childhood until i went through them all lmao) hopefully it isnt all stuff youve already read before! here goes:

A Horse Makes for a Stable Life by FollowerofMercy – Wanting to test the boundaries of his host’s goodwill, Kaeya asks for a pony for his birthday. He didn’t expect Crepus to deliver. Or, the story in which things get uncomfortably real for young Kaeya.

do you like kaeya and crepus interactions!! because this fic explores their dynamic in suuuuch a nice way that felt very refreshing to see portrayed!! perfect ratio of hurt to comfort in my opinion. overall quite lighthearted compared to my other recs though lol. good exploration of kaeyas inner conflict since a young age. yeah i love it and recommend it

I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone by imaginarypasta – A selection of scenes from Kaeya's childhood related to his relationships with his fathers, and all they have led him to be.

this one is so good!!!! i feel like its rare to see kaeyas biological father portrayed as anything other than a heartless asshole, and this fic explored kaeyas relationship with him in such a nice manner that makes for a very melancholic and. i guess bittersweet story that takes into consideration the nuance of the situation in a way that i really dont see super often. the parts about kaeyas relationship w crepus are also really well done i love it. oh and the khaenri'ah lore the author takes some liberty with is really really interesting!!

not bad for a walk on death's doorstep by b_attery – Fear is a knife’s edge. Fear is a killer. Fear is how you know you’re still alive.

my bookmark of this work said "literally the best kaeya character study ive ever read" and honestly i still stand by that. the word flow is great and the exploration of fear as such an intrinsic part of kaeya's life and as the driving force for most of his actions and feelings and responses. it's so good!!! this one contemplates kaeyas childhood both before and after his arrival in mondstadt and goes until after diluc's return. absolutely recommend it!!

Hundred-Watt Light by pepperjuice – A story about ten years of contingency plans and holding your own hand. (Because how else are you supposed to live with a weight too big to hold all alone?)

this. this rewired my brain forever. this holds the title of best kaeya character study ever along with the previous one i talked about. definitely mind the tags because it primarily deals with suicidal ideation and thoughts so, if that's a trigger then it's best to not read this one lol but still it is SO good and it explores kaeya's inner conflicts and awful coping mechanisms after having such a heavy burden thrusted upon him at an extremely early age with no good support of any kind. i absolutely love this fic it's very dear to me and i think about it sooo often it truly altered my brain chemistry

things fall apart by kernsing – Happy eighteenth, Diluc.

finally some ragbros content! sadly it isnt the reconciliation you asked for it's about when things fell apart. this is one of my favorite ever renditions of how it all went down on That Day - it reshaped some of my own headcanons, actually. this one is more from diluc's pov than kaeya's, and it's written really really well, and explores diluc's grief over his father's death in SUCH an amazing and interesting way!! and the way it parallels kaeya's own emotions and that is exactly what causes them to fight is extremely tasty i loved it. read it it's good

okay i can probably find some more but this is enough for one post i think. deeply sorry for not delivering the good ragbros reconciliation content.. i tbh haven't gathered a lot.. but i hope you and whoever else reads this enjoys these! thank you for the ask <3

#sharing fic recs on tumblr.com isn't just a hobby it's a full time job and a lifestyle.#anonpilled #kaeyaposting #kaeya #kaeya alberich #diluc #ragbros #brothers tag #genshin impact

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sublimecatgalaxy · 2 years

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AHHHH IM SO GLAD REQUESTS ARE OPEN AGAIN

anyway can you write a fix about fez and his girlfriend being a celebrity actress/singer and she spends a lot of time away from him but when they are together they are both so so happy and maybe like little blurbs of them missing eachother or blurbs of them together and really happy? thank you!!!!

Sure :)

"Another hug." Fezco pulls me back into his arms and I giggle against his chest, loving the feeling of his arms around me. My eyes tear at the thought of not seeing him, touching him, smelling him for months while I'm gone, only able to text him and speak to him over the phone.

I don't know if that's worse for Fez or for me.

"Don't want you to go." He mutters, pressing his face into the crook of my neck, his fingers gripping the back of my shirt tightly, as if he's terrified to let me go. "Wish I could go with you." He sighs, my heart panging painfully in my chest at the sound of his broken, cracked voice.

"You've got Ash to take care of. Your grandma too- I'll be fine." My hand rests on the back of his head, thumb brushing circles into the skin. "I'll just miss you." He nods, pressing one last kiss to my lips before allowing me to step back to wipe my teary eyes. "Go kick some ass."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A smile spreads across my lips at the sight of my phone lighting up in the dark hotel room, the space in my heart filling with love at Fez's name sprawled out across the screen.

Fezzy How u doin baby

My fingers hover over the keyboard as the three bubbles pop up under his message, my heart racing in my chest and I wait patiently. It had been a long day of filming and interviews, barely getting any time to look over my messages or even give Fez the quickest call.

Fezzy I miss you, so does ash. even rue keeps asking where you are.

My lips pull down into a frown, my heart aching at the thought of him laying in bed, without me, clutching my pillow to him to get any sort of closeness to me.

Me I miss you too, thought of you all day while at work. People kept asking about you and how it feels to be away. I almost cried when one of the interview asked me about Ash.

I bite at my lip, blinking the tears away to try to stay strong, knowing that he's probably a big mushy mess.

Fezzy You got no clue how much that kid misses you. it's getting fuckin annoying and shit, he won't even smoke with me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi baby!" Fez's bright smile makes butterflies erupt in my stomach, my nerves already getting the best of me as we arrive the event, my limo slowing to a stop. "I just got to the event, I needed to talk to you before going in." I blow out a breath, pulling the camera back so he can take a good look at me.

"Look hot, ma. Wish I was there to be on your arm." His voice is bittersweet and I can't help the image that pops up in my head of him decked out in a full suit and tie, matching my dress and on my arm as my favorite accessory.

"I'm just really nervous so I wanted to hear your voice." He grins and runs a hand over the top of his head, tilting his chin teasingly at me.

"You look really good." He whispers, blowing out a breath as his freckled cheeks blush cutely, boyishly.

"I'll send you a picture later of me in a full length mirror. Or maybe my publicist can send you a pic." I wink, catching a glimmer of mischief in his eyes and he chuckles, his brows raising and he sheepishly looks away from the camera.

"I'm sure that I'll be seeing pics all over the media." He whistles, already knowing how this goes and how many pictures and interviews will flood the internet over the next forty-eight hours.

"I'm sure you'll cherish them."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My hands shake as I look frantically throughout the incoming flights, waiting for my eyes to connect with familiar blue ones, eager to wrap my arms around my man and never let go. And I'm sure he feels the same.

Looking around, I spot him quicker than I thought I would only because he typically waits along the wall so he doesn't get caught up in the paparazzi and fans but today he's in the front. He has a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a huge smile written across his lips.

By the time I'm in his arms, arms thrown around his neck, face buried in his shoulder, he's already whispering kind words, excited more than words can say.

"I missed you." He whispers with a shudder, a small laugh leaving my lips as my feet touch the ground once more, my body leaning back so I can look up at him with teary eyes.

"Missed you more."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282

@yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @minjix @luvrosee

#fezco #euphoria #euphoria series #fezco x reader #fez #fez x reader #fezco fanfic #fezco and ashtray #fezcoedit #fezco angst

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br1ghtestlight · 6 months

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20 questions for fic writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3

2. What’s your total word count?

109,996

3. What fandoms do you write for?

bob's burgers, inanimate insanity and there's like one steven universe fic in there. i have written for other fandoms in the past but not on that account lol (and mostly unpublished)

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

zeke running away fic, genderfluid gene fic, louise hat fic, bob mom fic, tinimmy week fic (the problem with naming all my fanfics after really long complicated song lyrics is that i simply will not actually call the fanfictions by their Actual Name. also not linking them bcuz im lazy)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i always try to respond to comments but tbh people dont comment on my work very often?? i also dont reply to comments on my old account bcuz i dont have access to it anymore

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i dont know if ive ever written anything angsty tbh?? thats not really my favorite thing because it makes me too sad. out of my published fanfics probably the fic about bob's mom wins by default and out of my unpublished wips uhh maybe my louise and tina focused fanfic. it has a happy ending (maybe) but its a real downer at times. or maybe my tinimmy fic is bittersweet depending on how you read it

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

maybe my fanfic where bob gets a garden LMAO or my genderfluid gene fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no!!! actually a secret about me in that my almost 10 years posting art fanfics etc online i have never gotten a single negative comment on anything ive made. i feel very lucky :)

9. Do you write smut?

never have and never will (nothing wrong with it in most contexts but im asexual and smut is extremely Not My Thing. i actually tried writing a smut fic once to challenge myself a few years ago and spent like 1000 words describing the way the candles were lit in their bedroom before i realized its simply not for me and thats fine)

10. Do you write crossovers?

no but if my hyperfixations ever gave me an opportunity to crossover maybe?? any bob's burgers character on the infinity train would be hilarious. any hfjone character would be heartbreaking

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont remember but im gonna go with probably not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

NO I THINK IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN but im too much of a perfectionist w/ my writing and i would be worried about dragging the other person down with me. maybe if my ocd ever gets medicated idk

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

it depends on my mood but right now i have been thinking abt tina and jimmy jr a lot. not even romantically their relationship is just so interesting. jimmy jr/zeke/tina is also great. marshall lee and gary.... bryce and liam??

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

i have like over 30+ wips so thats probably a lot of them FJDMDMSJSKS something i would love to finish at some point but probably never will is a fanfic about how bob and linda overcame the cycle of abuse with their own childhood memories vs how they are with their kids. maybe i could write that with somebody else and we each do like a chapter at a time (they write linda's memories and i write bob's etc)

16. What are your writing strengths?

people always tell me that im really good at capturing character's voices and personalities and making them feel in character?? i always want my stories to feel like something that could actually happen in-universe and make it make sense with the characters etc. i think part of this comes from working w/ my own ocs and thinking so hard about how different people express and communicate things and then applying that to other characters is easy. and bcuz of how my autism works i can memorize how a person or character constructs sentences and create new sentences inside my head in their voice :D i really pay attention to peoples speaking patterns & how they phrase things

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably how perfectionist i am about grammar and using certain words phrases punctuation etc that it takes FOREVER to get anything done. i also think im too wordy. i can turn a fifteen word sentence into a fifty word sentence easily which is great for essays but kinda annoying when you're reading a silly bobs burgers fanfic

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

i dont mind doing it for my ocs but to my knowledge none of the bob's burgers characters speak another language as their native language?? so i cant see it coming up in anything i write

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i dont really wanna say bcuz its embarrassing and i was pretty young LMAO but it was like youtuber fanfic on wattpad (wayy before whatever youtubers you're thinking of they were never famous)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

hmm either my tinimmy week fic or my genderfluid gene fic it changes depending on the day. right now its my tinimmy week fanfic <3

#txt #bob's burgers #long post #<- im assuming

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mickeymagpie · 6 months

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20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @marypsue, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

106 so far!

2. What’s your total word count?

321,819, which is somehow both lower and higher than i expected.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

a whole lot; most recently Rise of the TMNT, my fandom on ao3 with the most works is Rise of the Guardians. lots of rises.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

The Gravity Falls trans dipper one-shot, the FMA Ishvalan!Elrics AU, an into the spiderverse fic, raven cycle pov outsider, and a star wars force awakens one-shot. i give all my fics long song lyric titles so that's all the info yall are getting lmao.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I always start out trying to respond to everything when i post a new fic, but then i get overwhelmed pretty quick. lo siento mucho.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually go for angsty endings tbh! I like a lot of angst in the middle, or i go for kind of bittersweet endings.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably that star wars one; force awakens had just come out and i was one of many kylo ren woobifiers who wanted him to have accepted han's invite to come home.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The most hate i've gotten is on a Different star wars fic where i made Luke trans and some people were Not happy. luckily, i have a permit (i can do what I want).

9. Do you write smut?

yeah lol. i don't post a lot of it though; most of the time i just share it with my discord friends.

10. Do you write crossovers?

all the time all the time babey.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes i've been notified 2 or 3 times that someone copied my stuff onto wattpad or ffnet. i usually go report them but don't care enough to follow up.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so? not that I can remember. I've had one or two podficced though iirc.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nnnnot a finished one. my friends and i do a lot of half fic writing and half rp that usually doesn't turn into a polished product (but it's still fun <3).

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

ALL TIME FAVORITE FLYNN AND LUCY TIMELESS. i've never written fic for them and the show isn't even GOOD but god the way they look like "she fixed him" bs on the surface but really they're each so perfect to make up for the other's shortcomings. also i always wanted so badly for someone to tell her to get her dog on a leash <3

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

ahaha,,,, the good omens roleswap fic is burning a hole in my document folder. i have an outline i just have no inspiration/motivation :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization; particularly I've gotten the feedback that i'm good at writing characters in different circumstances from canon while keeping their personalities both Intact and Logically Justifiable.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

ending things, both in the sense that i start a lot of stuff and don't finish it, and the sense that i usually have too many ideas and don't know how/where to cut off a plot.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

google translate always does me dirty so now i usually just write the dialogue in english and use a dialogue tag like "she said in *insert language*"

19. First fandom you wrote for?

iiiiii think it was Rise of the Guardians! before that i mostly did over-dramatic RP on the cricket magazine forums where i had characters like a half-dragon bounty hunter.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

probably the ishvalan elrics fic! fma is already full of a lot of meaty concepts, and it was fun re-conceptualizing the canon plot and character beats while keeping the arching plot intact. stuff like that is like a puzzle to me, it's very satisfying when i finish one and it gets positive feedback!

tagging anyone who wants to do it, because im. so sleepy rn

#writing meme #tag meme

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yourstrullyme · 1 year

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boop! you have to answer the following questions and get into the ask of 3 your mutuals and make them answer them as well

1. Are you named after anyone?

2. When was the last time you cried

3. Do you have kids

4. What's the first thing you notice about people?

5. What's your eye color?

6. Sad or happy endings?

7. Any special talents?

8. Where were you born?

9. What are your hobbies?

10. Do you have any pets?

11. What sport do you play/ have played?

12. How tall are you?

13. Favourite subject in school?

14. Dream job?

omg this is fun

1. yes, my mom had a grandma that they called Lina, thinking it was a nickname for one out of two possible names so my mom gave me one of them (the prettier of the two imo)... turns out her grandma was just Lina lol

2. oof id say tuesday? ive been terribly sick and stressed out of my mind and had a test i did very badly on and it was just too much

3. nope lol

4. usually... id say the clothes, style, vibes. im bad w faces and eyecontact

5. green w lil brown freckles

6. both? i love bittersweet endings and honestly if the story is good and the ending makes sense i dont care if its happy or sad

7. uuuh im really good at picking up stuff?? like learning something for the first time is pretty easy, perfecting it is tough but starting is easy. i can also move my ears lol

8. Reñaca, Viña del Mar. Chile.

9. they change a lot but id say rock climbing, music in general, and reading and writing would be the most consistent ones

10. YES her name is carlotta and she was born to a dog a friend picked up from the street so i adopted her. shes small but her body is long and short-legged and her hair is colored like a black and white border collie, but her hair is really tough lol and shes got a beard. shes just a mix of a lot of things. she turns 3 in december

11. sooo many lets see... formally i did volleyball and hockey in school, plus athletism where i mostly did long and high jumps amongst other things. football in college (i was a goalkeeper) and now rock climbing, and im also considering joining a jiu jitsu gym with a friend to try and exersize more regularly (and beat the crap out of each other). then on the side ive always dabbled in running, did a bit of skating, rollerskating, some gym stuff, water skiing, fishing, and i tried kayaking for a month and i want to get back into it

12. 1.74 mts

13. so many lol although i enjoyed myself the most in english, spanish and history back in middle and high school, now that im in college i really love economy and anything to do with biology. basically everything lol

14. oh god... no idea. many jobs. id love to have a job that requires me to travel and meet many people, and a lab job or a field job but in research, and a public figure kind of job? the kind were u have to decide stuff and make speeches and shit. id love to write too, to be a writer on a tv show or write books, but also direct or act (i shouldve been a theatre major honestly if i could have aby job this one would probably be it lol) id love to also have a farmer or a shepards job... the long hours in the great outdoors and physical labor just call to me lol

i just feel like my dream job is a dynamic job, nothing too stagnant, but then again that can just be my age talking yknow? maybe when im older i'll just want a good paying job that allows me to be w my loved ones so who knows. ideally though, it would require me to be outside some part of the time lol

this was fun thanks!! also to that anon that asked me the same thing the answers are here but thanks for asking!

#asks #ask #thanks for keeping me entretained while i escape my marketing class #lol #captaintanthamore #also love the new pfp captain looking mighty good #personal

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fatherramiro · 1 year

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anyways some final dark thoughts with some 1899 musings sprinkled in for flavor

definitely ended the show with my top five faves being noah, claudia, charlotte, hannah, and katarina. im also deeply obsessed with jonas (the teenager and eyk variants at least) and bartosz came in for a last minute win.

probably controversial opinion but ulrich... i respect the tragedy but my buddy you could’ve solved a lot of problems by not banging everyone in sight

there are characters who i adored who i wish got a little more time to shine but overall a+ character development. leave me wanting more than overplaying it or adding in unnecessary plots

also, i do wish martha’s badassery had been brought out a bit sooner in season two because she and jonas were giving me charladay from lost vibes and that is not a compliment in this case. like i wasn’t sure what jonas was seeing in her and it felt like he was just obsessing over someone (in this case, his motherfucking aunt) and there was little support. season three... perfection though on that front.

holy fuck the cast overall was spectacular. ive never seen casting that perfect overall, especially for the younger vs older cast members

it was also interesting to me how the main cast mostly didn’t change throughout the seasons - bo and jantje were able to pretty much keep everyone for three seasons regardless of character fates in various timelines/words. that makes me feel like they'd have kept the 1899 main cast around for the entire show run if they’d had, you know, a seasons two and three.

as mentioned in other posts, love that they also stored the love in the fake priest here too.

the entire show being about love - with the incident that creates the loop being born from love and the solution being conceived of by love is so important. also the fact that the solution isn’t to cause further harm but to save lives? incredible

overall, it wasn’t as nihilistic as i expected? i found the ending to be really powerful and bittersweet but also not quite as heavy on the bitter side as anticipated.

the last line hit me like a shit ton of bricks.

it also thrilled me that katarina and hannah got to exist/be happy in the end. i know hannah is controversial, but both their deaths were the most viscerally upsetting to me so i was really glad that it didn’t just end there for them.

seeing the way they used every shot and word to convey meaning absolutely destroyed me. not a single goddamn wasted moment or throwaway line

my other minor complaints are that i think they needed 10 episodes per season for all seasons, and that i wish the unknown (aka the terror trio as i was calling them) had a name that wasn't just. the unknown.

the montages!!! fuck me up!!!

ive got so many thoughts about 1899 and where that was going based on this show but the only one ill share here is that im pretty sure that outside of the eyk/maura/daniel triangle, the endgame pairings had to be clémence/jérôme, ling yi/olek, and ramiro/ángel. there was too much emphasis placed on those relationships by the season finale that it would’ve been weird to like. swap out one half of a pairing for someone else. the set up felt very deliberate there, and overall bo and jantje do not waste moments like those.

why did it take me so long to watch this show???? it is perfect and i want to write a thousand essays on it

#dark blogging with julian #dark spoilers for ts

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sunmoonjune · 1 year

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opening up notes bc i already know this is gonna be another chapter that serves and i need to keyboard smash all my feels

can i just start off by saying yun tapping bug's language or yun holding bug's hand or anything related to his hands has me reeling bc ive recently developed such a huge thing for them it's embarrassing aslfkdgsajg like they're so pretty it's illegal also apparently his hands are 21cm ??? like ??? my hands are probably the size of his palm someone hold me pls

im melting bug used to be so alert during her sleep she would subconsciously be waiting in fear of danger and she would rarely ever leave her good eye covered bUT NOw she's subconsciously reaching for physical contact and comfort from the boys AND THEN YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE'S ALSO COMPLETELY TRUSTING JONGHO TO PROTECT HER WHILE SHES ASLEEP OGM MY HERART

intermission to tell you just how much i love each and every single interaction that you put into each chapter bc they are such simple moments and actions that could easily be skipped over when thinking about the grand scheme of the plot but you always manage to highlight their significance in bug's journey of healing. ltm is the epitome of it's the little things in life ❤️

seeing bug curled on the floor next to san's bed was so cute but also so bittersweet. i think ateez need a new cavern where the whole floor is just bed so they can all be close and have cute puppy piles. also PLEASE HAHA not bug going 🥵🥵 seeing hongjoong's forearm muscles 💪💪 honestly though,,, same

my lack of vocab cannot express the amount of feels i got from bug finally giving captain his name symbol bc it's not even just 'hongjoong' but 'MY hongjoong' and it encompasses so many meanings like home and their heartbeats brb im ugly crying

Briefly, there’s a startling realization that they don’t change for you either. -> 👏WE👏LOVE👏CHARACTER👏DEVELOPMENT👏AND👏SELF👏LOVE 👏 i love the parallels revealed between hongjoong's and bug's past because hopefully bug can start to realise that she is also capable of displaying the scar on her face without worrying and finding love in this little family just like hongjoong has

woosan peering over the edge of the bed to look at bug and hongjoong only serves to reiterate my point that they need a nine-person mattress stat. and the way they giggled together like kids i swear they're the cutest

also my tag doesn't work idk why but it's okay bc i check your posts more religiously than i wake up for work so jks on tumblr 😎

AHHHH I LVOE YOU SO MUCH <333

the way my heart goes !!#!$!$! whenever I get a long ask after a new chapter is posted xD I love them SO MUCH <33

ok but yunho's hands are SO pretty,, I definitely have liked more than one TikTok of his hands so you're not alone xD

bug trusting jongho to guard her in her sleep <333 she really was sleeping for quite a bit of this chapter xD but that's okay, she needed it :'))

intermission to tell you that I love you SO MUCH <33 I'm so glad you guys don't mind the slow pacing with these little interactions! they might be considered filler in some stories but the slow progression is really important to me in this story :"D

also ateez should definitely just make a cave with just mattresses on the floor for one big bed xD they def need the cuddling space :}}

(and SAME bug, I too am weak for joong's forearm muscles xD)

MY hongjoong <333 crying screaming throwing up they love each other SO MUCH,, and joong's name symbol does indeed have the word for 'home' in it :") I was wondering if anyone would pick that up hehe >:D

also bug 🤝 hongjoong 🤝 zuko 🤝 having shitty father figures HAHA,, but yes bug's growing so much :")) finally beginning to realize that she is not her past and she can grow into her own person with ateez <3

woosan giggling like teenagers with crushes made me so happy I swear xD yeosang was done with their shit and just wanted to sleep HAHA

also I'm not quite sure why your tag doesn't show up :(( I've been poking around on tumblr but sometimes blog's just don't pop up when I try to tag them D: I hope I can get it sorted out tho! I'm glad that you were able to find the new chapter without it tho <3

#moonie speaks #like the moon #moonie's favs <3

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cantalooprat · 1 year

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Undead

What I Liked

the way huai shang writes romance is 😔👌

cant believe the first time i encounter a Real Second Male Lead is in a zombie apocalypse omegaverse setting

that said, yan hao took so many L's throughout the story, dude nvr stood a chance from the v beginning n then got fed so much dogfood lmao

huai shang's gongs... at least in poyun n undead, both yan xie and zhou rong r v... v alpha. and like zhou rong is a real real alpha in the omegaverse sense n man... he is indeed v alpha my heart melted he's v roguish but also kind of silly n i love whenever he refers to himself as rong-ge, and how he was so happy during si nan's first heat and si nan chose him like hnnnn yes that's the best part of omegaverse isn't it. that aside tho i love how he's also a responsible leader to his subordinates and he does really really care for them and his mission and how he jokes around to keep the mood up and throughout the story i was just like, man no wonder si nan fell for him, yan hao could've been a good ML in a diff story but he's not si nan's ML lmao

si nan too i didn't know how much i wanted a feral cat type shou until si nan. i also rly like how huai shang portrayed him, like he's quiet and wary and doesn't easily trust others, but his emotions run silent and deep and it manifests sometimes in the most... not quite surprising, but like i didn't quite expect that he'd be so attached to squad 6. also when he was in heat and like, nesting in zhou rong's clothes, and it was just the cutest thing, he loves zhou rong so so much even though he might not be as vocal about it. i wanted him to be happy so bad, he deserves all the happiness he can get with zhou rong n squad 6 😭

also i had so many bittersweet pangs at si nan's first encounter w zhou rong when they were both teens. probably, for si nan, zhou rong rly might have been the only light in his life then. call rong-ge and he will definitely come to save si nan... their story rly began from before both of them knew it, their fates intertwined from that verdant summer day

the sheer emotional distress i felt reading undead lmao like i know it's thriller i know it's action and zombie apocalypse but still!!! when zhou rong bled from a glass shard w zombie blood smeared and si nan was just so desperate and has intense vibes of mei>>kiana in lament of the fallen. si nan is willing to become a sinner if it means saving zhou rong, but zhou rong wouldn't be able to bear the guilt if he lived at the cost of the world... haa

also like. mb im just naive but it didn't feel like anyone from squad 6 has plot armor that protects them from death, so i was constantly worried that any of them would die. so so much emotional distress lmao

chuncao my sweet summer child i love her so much she's so cute the way she and si nan just sort of band together like when they snuck to eat together hehe

actually the entire squad 6 is top tier i love them all

What I Disliked

the way some initial side chars just disappear midway... like uh. whats her name. the beta girl who may have a crush on yan hao. and the rando omega they picked up whom they were searching for inhibitors for. the baby whose birth they fought so hard to defend? dr zheng who bowed out after his disgrace... i would've liked closure on these ppl too /sad

some more extras rly rly would have been v nice to read. undead did end on a v complete note but i rly... would have liked some extras

Notes

i will need to read cute fluffy zero stakes wn after this

#cantalooprat reads

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self-h-rmageddon · 2 months

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i feel. like bad? i need to get it off my chest!!!!

soo. okay i

i avoided my friends for like.. almost a month i guess. 22 days, the only reason i know that is cuz she counted. i didnt think she would, and i feel.. so much conflict. im avoidant when she brings it up, i dont wanna talk about it cuz i know she wont like what i have to say

she got drunk one night, like *really* drunk and she shared with me some pretty real feelings she probably wouldnt have otherwise. it hurt me, but i know she was hurting too. she *insisted* i speak about it, like. VERBALLY, anyone who knows me knows i fall short there. i

things have just been the way that they were for so long, i guess when it changed it was jarring maybe? ive been the loser. we're all losers, but i was the only one in my entire friend group who didnt have other friends outside of said friend group, but now i do!! and it makes me feel so happy, that i have so many friends i love so dearly yknow? but it makes me feel bitter that she doesnt like that

do you know how embarrassing it was? anytime i THOUGHT i had something good, id go and ramble happily about someone who i didnt realize id be LOSING in the next few months. embarrassing, shameful! but not this time

i guess me talking about it made her feel scared, but it upset me, because she got really upset when i told her i love all my friends equally.. i guess she didnt wanna hear that someone i met less than a year ago could be someone i love as much as her, which i get. i get how it sounds, but its not like that!! i love them UNIQUELY. she brings me things they dont, they bring me things she doesnt, im content and balanced and thankful for all of it

i handled it. poorly, i feel like i handled it poorly but i dont blame myself too much, im not known for this skill i guess. she started crying and it? it was like a joke at first but she was emotional cuz of the alcohol and it very quickly became not a joke, its the first time ive like.. heard her cry? and i felt bad that it was my fault and i really dont know how to comfort someone like that, its not a social skill i have upfront!!! over text its easy to collect my thoughts, but verbally? too much mental energy is being used on holding a conversation alone. but i also dont feel bad because its not WRONG for me to love my friends equally, i dont blame her for how she felt ofc

i didnt think i mattered so much to her, i guess. but she told me about it, and it made me... uncomfortable. like, TERRIBLY uncomfortable. thats why i did it, why i started focusing somewhere else. i came back suddenly, they were in the middle of playing a game and it felt so.. alien? like. it made me feel sick, this is my HOME and i felt like a stranger almost. i know 22 days isnt so long, but. idk, ive tried to keep in better contact, we are playing the games now, as we should!! but the truth is that after knowing it hurt her when i talked about my other friends, i just.. stopped talking about them, but i do things with them EVERYDAY, thats my day!! if i cant talk about them, i have nothing to say i guess

its bittersweet, ive sorta gotten back to being the unhinged loser they enjoy having around ig but i still dont talk as much as before, i dont want to because i dont wanna hurt her yknow? im HAPPY. im happy, so happy

she said she felt ashamed feeling the way she did, said she hates that shit but its still how she feels, i dont blame her. honestly?? its giving bpd like MY PERSONAL OPINION... with the way she described how she felt about me, i think shes one of us but. that adds a whole other layer, the discomfort i felt, is that how i make people feel? when im obsessed with them? when i feel like i cant exist without them? it feels so wrong to say things like this, shes my best friend, ive known her for years.. its just. we dont do emotions, i guess? and i think thats wrong of me cuz she expressed that she wanted it like that, she wanted to be open and vulnerable, and i didnt like it!!! we can do it over text sure, but.. sit and talk with me? she dmed me the other day saying like 'dommm we should vc, i wanna get drunk and have therapy again while you give me good advice'. i ignored her text, on purpose. usually its NEVER on purpose, if i dont respond you can bet like 100% i clicked the message, read it and then went back to what i was doing because i was distracted, or i have a really bad tendency of THINKING my replies and not actually sending them and being like yep. social interaction well done. but no, i ignored it on purpose. anytime she asks us "guys, yes or no..." i say no, cuz i know the question is if she should drink or not. i know she'll still drink anyways, i just leave early, pretend my new sleep schedule is the reason why, pretend im tired because it makes me uncomfortable still

im not good at it!!! i cant give her what she needs like THAT.. i cant have her sit there and tell me all her problems and cry, i CANT because i dont know how to handle it! like i genuinely have no idea how to handle that at all. over text i could probably manage just fine, but she wanted me to sit there, wanted my camera on and everything.. i felt like i really? i mean i TRIED, i did my best, i listened to her, i can always do that.. the problem is she wants advice, you will not get advice from me if im forced to physically speak. so i just feel like i let her down, yknow? i dont know

ive backed myself into a corner probably, im too scared to be open cuz she tends to forget the things she says when shes drunk, so maybe she doesnt remember telling me how she feels about me? i guess theres an added layer of discomfort, because like. when we were 18 i think? she drunkenly confessed that she had a crush on me and it felt really.. ive never seen her differently for that, you can absolutely trust. shes my best friend and i never pushed her away despite those feelings, i just had to tell her i didnt feel the same and it never came up again, and we've been fine! but, knowing how she feels about me now? it makes me uncomfortable because of that, its hard to describe. idk its a lot of mixed feelings!!!! nothing i could ever tell her, probably

and it made me feel horrible for all the times ive ever talked fondly about my friends, or the times i was breaking down so badly over them that i had no choice but to cry and wail in my channel, knowing literally only one of them probably would respond (which was true, they talked me thru it a little bit). thats where our emotional talk ends. i dont want to be emotional with someone i know physically, it stresses me out!!!! yes i love you so much, you are my entire world!! ill kiss yr hair and hands and we can cuddle, we can spend a whole day together and go out to eat, we can sit at home and play games, we can do all of it! but.. online its easy, im words on a screen. physically?

i hate to feel GUTTED. i hate feeling vulnerable, i hate feeling EXPOSED. that first time i went to therapy for fucking GENDER DYSPHORIA and our first session was *wasted*, wasted because i had to tell my mom that i wanted to kill myself. sinking in my stomach. all those times ive had traumatic response to them fighting, the fucking scars because of that, the times my family have seen the scars. IM TIRED imf ucking tired, i hate to feel that way. i hate being exposed i hate having my heart on display i hate it all!!! i hate someone knowing something about me, i wont let myself be pressured into sharing trauma and details, i want it SECRET. share yr trauma with me, thats FINE, but its like. idk i wanted that call to end to fast, it was completely out of my comfort zone and i feel GUILTY for that. im averse to change, i really hate change actually. i made a whole post talking about our dynamic and how i adored it, and then it was sorta flipped on its head? i stopped playing that little dragon game on roblox cuz i was playing that while we were talking and anytime i fly around looking for chests, the memory of that conversation comes back to me. i want to forget

we fit like a glove, we're back to how we always have been when we talk, but.. she mentioned it the other day. thats how i knew i was avoidant for 22 days, she told me she counted. i felt bad, cuz i hoped she wouldnt notice. i couldnt think of anything to say, other than "well.. i was monster hunting idk man" and she sounded upset with me when i said it. we moved on quickly but. im not made for that. what did she want me to say? whatever she wanted, i clearly didnt say it. idk i just feel lost, feel stuck and the worst thing?

i dont want to be exposed to anyone but them. like THATS the thing, maybe if i didnt have them then id be fine with it, but.. it makes me uncomfortable, feels like betrayal. they can see that side of me, no one else can because i dont WANT anyone else to. i trust them, i feel safe enough to be vulnerable around them, its a big step for me and one that i dont take lightly. its not her fault i dont feel safe, and lord knows i trust her!!! its just.. different. opening up is hard, i feel more.. understood? i guess you could say. idk its just. hard to describe. i love my friends so much, but my friendships are all UNIQUE and thats why i love them. talking to either is fulfilling!!! incredibly, in very different ways but still!

idk it just sucks i guess, it makes me sad that me talking about my happiness is a sore spot for her, ive never been happier in my whole life!!! but i know it probably hurts her that it wasnt her that gave me that happiness. theres nothing i can do about that!! she makes me happy in another way, one exclusive to her. we are so sillay in vc, its FUN i have so much fun with her, but i think that.. maybe by telling her that a while ago, i fucked up. i shouldnt have told her she was my BEST best friend, i shouldnt have i just get.. natural tendency to tell people what they want, avoid conflict.

it feels like it established an accidental conflict, one no one else knows about. did i make her think i loved her more than my friend? or my other friend? like it makes me sick, but you cant just BACK TRACK. i cant just say actually? like i love them also yknow. cuz that would hurt her probably, its like im fucked no matter what!!! sure we ahve good chemistry in vc, the best chemistry in that whole friend group when vcing, but? i used to refer to one of them as my spouse like. MUTUALLY, we were married platonically okay. the other one? i love him so much hes so silly and . GRGR like. i just hate this idea, but its all my fault it exists. no backbone. i love my friends EQUALLY. i have a lot of love to give everyone, it would hurt me so badly if i wasnt loved equally, thats why i love the way i do. i even told her, im INSISTENT with it. i refuse to love inequally, it would hurt people and i hate that!!! but. i hurt her regardless, its. IDK man its a lot im just airing this out, she'll never see this, none of them will. good

we can move on from this, we mostly already have. im just scared i might have to put my foot down a bit, and tell her that it made me uncomfortable, i dont want to put her in that situation but if we get there then we get there. we'll be okay im sure

#this is super long im just. need it out #idk how much sense this is making but #its. the whole thing is really mixed and complex alright its like neither of us is in the right #but neither of us is inherently wrong its #too much for my brain unfortunately

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nicolos · 4 months

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20 Fic Questions

I was tagged by @bewires ty pal!!!

1. how many works do you have on Ao3?

42. this is.....more than i thought it would be actually

2. what's your total Ao3 word count?

315,594

3. what fandoms do you write for?

the old guard mainly, but also asoiaf (and associated fandoms) and star wars. i have written for other fandoms, just not very much

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Now I'm Covered in the Colors

the bittersweet between my teeth

throw me that smile

wedding party

second of his name

It is pretty funny (and reflective of fandom size) that my top by kudos fic are all from fandoms in which I have written like, 3 things total

5. do you respond to comments?

I try to! Im pretty slow with it and after a certain point I am just like "okay not responding to comments here because I simply have nothing to say" but I try to reply to comments all at once every few weeks or months or whatever.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think I write terribly angsty endings...? I mean in general I like a happy ending, especially for fic ig, but... hmmm. Maybe blue lover, which I guess is an angsty ending for the POV character? Maybe tick tick tick, which is just ...canon compliant and that episode of himym didn't end well? (yes, I know, don't ask).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm, this one is tough. How would you measure happiest ending exactly if they're all 'good' endings but not necessarily "Everything is fine now!" ones? I guess maybe wasteland baby? Or maybe pretexts, for the "we've figured it out!" after a fic full of angst?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have gotten hate on fic but not very often and not exactly recently, so I guess...no?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! I don't know if I've posted any crossovers recently, but I do think of them from time to time, and then... I guess the craziest one I've put anywhere near the internet is a doctor who/asoiaf crossover that I've since (i.e. since 2013, when I wrote it) taken down?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep, though this was back in like 2013.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, once!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have begun co-writing fics and never quite seen it through to the end 😅

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Changes by the month

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

In things I've posted, I would really like to finish my star wars witcher au that I have the second chapter of written and the third chapter fully plotted, but ...I mean, I hope I'll finish it. But I doubt myself

In unposted things: that post-rots AU

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm, I'm not sure? I can say the things I enjoy doing and feel at ease with, which is description and worldbuilding and scene setting, but if they're things that people feel are particularly strong in my writing I do not know.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing wips Probably working through passage of time or making things flow one from the next? I tend to think of things in static scenes, and trying to make it coherent and flow without too many breaks or choppiness, or just overwriting things that I don't need is something I struggle with a lot

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It kind of depends on the context? I wouldn't try to include more than a line or phrase of dialogue from a language I don't speak without at least asking someone. And unless it was a specific choice that added relevance to the text, I'd either write the convo out in english with "they said in __ language" or "X said something in [language] that flew over Y's head" or.... whatever.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The hindi tv serial Miley Jab Hum Tum, circa 2007. I was a baby!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

the bittersweet between my teeth is definitely the fic I'm most proud of, for its length and the way I plotted and set it out, but I have also absolutely written things I like stylistically or feel are better in the (holy shit) 7 years since. I tend to think of my more recent stuff as better So in recent stuff, maybe some cupids kill with arrows!

Thanks again for the tag, aaaand I tag @chinchillinator @raedear and @werebearbearbar if yall like!

#tag games #about me

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alicemitch09writes · 9 months

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hey! i just wanted to drop by to ramble? about the ending of rewrite the stars!!! im glad there's a bitter but sweet ending! (bittersweet in regards to the other universes where megumi doesn't get to meet our seer!mc) at least our sweet couple get to cherish each other in the current universe. probably was worth it to him lol (－ω－) Also i love love love the last line "Alright, maybe they’ll give them a few more lifetimes of happiness"-- such a cheeky ending line hehe ^•ﻌ•^ฅ♡

hihihihihihihihi (•̀⩊•́)

thanks so much for the read, sweetpea~

actually, i let my friend read the excerpt of the fic before it was fleshed out. she was absolutely horrified and told me how evil i was. in the original draft, there was only ONE lifetime where reader and megumi met, fell in love, and were granted a happy ending. in the other one, she died. FOREVER. soooo, that's two lifetimes they've met.

this all began with me, thinking, that there are billion of us in this world, a good chunk of that knows jjk and got into the fanfiction side and decided to make their own stories, hence, the many ocs. so i thought, "huh, so reader (she's actually an oc, but im too shy to let you guys know about her hehe) is just one of many, huh"

kinda trippy of a thought, but yeah.

the one who said that line though is me, because i begrudgingly gave them a happy ending (ONE GEGE SEEMS FCKING ALLERGIC TO). however, like she said, 'a few more lifetimes of happiness'.

soooo, it's about 50-30-20. 50% chances, they NEVER met, 30% chances they do meet, but something horrible happens to her, and 20% they meet, something horrible happens, but they still get their happy ending. not really a good percentage, but it's something.

#alicemitch09 talks #fic talks #ehehehe

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bunny-rambles · 2 years

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YES!! LET US SHOWER RUE MORE AFFECTION AND KITHS HE SO DESERVE EJSKOAIA 😭😭👍 I love how the way you portayed them, bun!! it was so melancholy to the heart but sweet to the tongue that make it somehow bittersweet but pretty nostalgic for me 😫💖

Also, while I'm reading your latest fic, I was listening to the Reprise version of Part of Your World and Hksysksuso ITS SO PERFECT I WANNA HUG HIM SUSJSJ

That brings me back to my brainrot earlier when i was watching Little Mermaid with my baby cousin susksi like at first he wanted to take everything from albedo to himself, want to be him and do the things that his brother do, but when he met you, he now wanted to do it WITH you 😭👍 instead of being alone. He wanted to be in the sun with you, not in the frigid cold of dragonspine. He wanted to walk hand in hand with you. He wanted you to smile at HIM, not because he was pretending to be Albedo, but because he was Rue. Imagine him contemplating what should he do just to ensure you will stay beside him 😫

What would I give to live where you are? What would I pay to stay here beside you? What would I do to see you smiling at me? Where would we walk, where would we run, if we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me, and I could be part of your world.

The last verse of the song hit differenly to me because I think here, Rue will at least come in terms that he would want to be a part of your world as himself, not as Albedo or anyone but he himself 😭🖐

I don't know when, I don't know how. But I know something's starting right now. Watch and you'll see, someday I'll be part of your world.

Anyway, forgive my preamble. I have no one to talk to with my brainrots bc im too shy n awkward 😅😅

- lurker anon

Aww lurker, thank you so much for the kind words !! I’m sorry this has taken so long to answer, I wanted to properly respond to all of it instead of doing it when I’m half asleep hehe

But the brainrot really made me smile,,, and yes omg it fits so well for my baby Ruby yesyesyes !!

I was trying to go for a similar idea of Ruby finally focussing on someone else other than Albedo and focusing on an emotion that wasn’t resentment or bitterness.

some ramblings utc

Ruby as Ariel, that’s such a cute idea- their personalities are very, very different but in a way there’s a lot of similarities. Rubedo is probably very curious about the world and ooh, do you think he collects things he comes across in Dragonspine? I can see him having a collection of interesting things he finds, like the random diaries hidden around in the snow, or maybe some crystals he found pretty enough to keep.

He’s also very outcasted from society, just like Ariel was but she chose that (I felt that- people are exhausting sometimes), with Ruby it’s kind of forced upon him- he’s invested in so many ideas going on in his head he’s not realising what he’s missing, or that the empty feeling in his chest isn’t caused by Albedo, but by how the only person in his life decided to throw him away. Lonely - he feels lonely. He’s been abandoned for so long he’s forgotten what it feels like to be around others. That is, until he meets you.

Ah he probably hates the new, fuzzy feeling in his chest at first. He tries to find something to be bitter or pessimistic about you when you’re kind to him, but it’s almost impossible. You’re so sweet to him, it completely throws him off. When had anyone been kind to a failure like him? He secretly hopes you never find out his true origins so he can just live out a perfect fantasy life with you. Around you, he forgets about Albedo, forgets the revenge he’s been planning - with enough time, on some days he completely forgets he was an experiment in the first place.

You make him feel alive, human even. Sure, he can still be stuck in his stubborn pessimistic ways (again, I felt that - maybe I’m projecting a little too much) but with you, there’s happiness for him. And even the smallest amount is enough for him.

On a more personal note - I love Ariel !! She has her flaws but she’s s pretty solid Disney princess (and we’re both curious red heads heh) but she’s extremely positive while I believe it’ll take a hell of a lot of healing for Rubedo to even think of something in a more brighter way. He’ll get there, don’t worry !! He’s got you, of course <3

#Rubedo x reader #Ruby my beloved #lurker anon #bun speaks #ramblings

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ggukkiedae · 2 years

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Retrouvailles

(n). The happiness of meeting again after a long time.

blurb: Five years is a long time to be apart from someone. When you get the chance to finally see your previous best friend again after five years through the most bizarre of ways, would you do it? Especially if it meant having to face consequences? To get that retrouvailles, you would.

pairing: idol best friend!sunwoo x actress!reader

genre: fluff, angst, fantasy, potential slow burn

warnings: kind of main character death, y/n is unsure of feelings

word count: 3.4k

remarks from c: @sunlightwoo hi gina! it’s meeeeee c your exchange buddy! im sorry this was late 😭 i wanted to make you a camp half-blood inspired fic but that went through four versions and didn’t turn up how i wanted it 😭 (am planning to still write it though aksjhf) i hope you’ll like what i did with this one, though! hopefully you’ve had a happy holidays and i’m wishing you a happy new year! sending you all the best and lots of love, and i hope we can be friends after this 🥰💖

December 20, 2021

Dramas can be a load of crap.

That didn’t mean you didn’t watch them, though. They let you feel things. They let you imagine alternate universes where maybe things would be different. They brought you out of your thoughts and kept you distracted from the world around you. That’s why you entered the industry as an actress. Maybe it could make you live in those imagined universes, maybe you could help other people escape from reality as well. The latter was exactly what you found yourself doing.

With a sigh, you shut your laptop and scoffed at the most recent drama you watched. Blue Birthday, something you would have been casted in if it weren’t for the fact that auditions took place on…

“It’s over, Y/n,” you muttered to yourself while setting the laptop aside. “You got another role, anyway. Besides, you wouldn’t have gotten the right chemistry with your co-stars like that. And the drama turned out amazing.”

It was an interesting plot. Best friends turned lovers where they fought against all odds to end up living a happy life together. And they time-travelled to do so. The thought of travelling back appealed to you somehow, especially when it was presented to be as easy as burning an old developed film camera photo. But it wasn’t reality.

You still found your eyes drawn to an all-too-familiar pouch tucked away on one of your highest shelves.

Despite you knowing it wouldn't happen, the thought was still tempting.

Before you knew it, you found yourself sitting on your bed, the pouch open in front of you as you looked through all the contents. There weren't too many, just around thirty pictures at most. You smiled to yourself at the photos you took. All of the pictures held one common factor: your best friend.

Kim Sunwoo’s bright smile looked up at you, leaving a bittersweet taste in your mouth.

It had been five years since you had last seen that smile in real life.

Well, almost five years. In just a few days, it would be Sunwoo’s death anniversary. It would mark the five years since such a young soul lost his chance to reach his dream, five years since he broke his promise, and five years since you made the worst decision of your life.

A buzz caught your attention, snapping you out of your thoughts. It was your phone lighting up with a message. Upon opening it, a small smile made its way back to your face. It was Eric, a close friend you had made through Sunwoo when you were younger. They had trained together, and were probably supposed to debut together.

From: Eric, 11:43PM

Hey, Y/n, I know you don’t really do this kind of thing, but do you want to celebrate Christmas with the rest of the members?

To: Eric, 11:43PM

I don’t think I can handle that yet. You guys have fun, though, and wish everyone a happy holidays for me. Sorry, Eric.

From: Eric, 11:45PM

You know it’s not your fault, right? No one could have predicted that accident.

To: Eric, 11:46PM

Thanks, but I’m still gonna pass.

You shut your phone and tossed it to the side of your bed. With a heavy heart, you looked back at the picture in your hand of your best friend laughing on a swing set. Right below it, you found a blurry photo, one with no subject whatsoever. Your eyes shifted towards the candle in your room with slight curiosity before shaking your head.

“God, I’m going insane.” But you shifted to the floor to be at eye-level with your candle. You held the corner of the blurry photo up to the flame. “It’s just wasted film. There’s no harm in trying, right?”

You watched the flames engulf the photo until eventually you had to put its remains into the candle to keep the flames from touching your fingers. You held your breath and closed your eyes, but nothing changed. Nothing except the fact that the photo you previously held in your hands turned to ashes. You sighed and stood up to return the photos to your pouch before getting into bed and watching the flames of the candle flicker. Of course it wasn’t going to work. It was an idea from a drama.

Dejectedly, she blew out the candle before lying back and closing her eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Sunwoo.”

December 2, 2016

The moment you opened your eyes and saw your best friend running towards you, you froze.

“Y/N!” Sunwoo’s voice rang clear through the empty playground, a smile evident from the way he called your name. “What are you doing standing and staring there like a psycho?”

His run slowed to a walk as he came closer, the smile never wavering from his face. A mixture of relief and something else you can’t name filled you as soon as he stopped in front of you. He was still in his school uniform despite him just coming from training. You were, too. Yet, despite how uncomfortable it was, it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was the fact that Kim Sunwoo was right there in front of you.

Without a warning, you rushed forward and threw yourself into a hug. He stumbled back a little from the force before wrapping his arms around you as well. His awkward pats made you release a relieved chuckle, tears you didn’t even know that were forming rolled down your cheeks.

“Dude, this is so weird.” Sunwoo’s laugh felt like a warm blanket. “Why the sudden affection?”

You tightened your hold on him. “You’re here. I missed you so much.”

“Alright, you weirdo, let go. We saw each other at school today.” He managed to pull away from your grip. His smile turned into a worried frown as soon as he saw you crying. “Hey, what happened? Why are you crying?”

“You jerk, it took you so long to visit me—“ you came to a stop, a weird sense of deja vu settling in.

This scene was all too familiar to you. You looked down, and, sure enough, a camera was hanging by your side. Your old film camera. The memory was blurry, but it had happened before, only slightly different. Five years ago, you had gotten angry at Sunwoo for scaring you, making you accidentally take the blurry photo and waste film.

You jolt backwards as soon as you realized something. The scene in Blue Birthday where Harin first went back came to mind. Did burning the photo work? Was it possible that you…

“Did I go back?” you mumble to yourself.

“Go back?” You looked up at Sunwoo’s confused tone. He rested the back of his hand against your forehead. “Are you okay? What do you mean visit you? And, seriously, why are you crying?”

You shook your head and just went to hug him again. “I had the worst nightmare. I asked you to come with me to the Christmas Village on the 25th, but something went wrong and the explosives for the fireworks killed you.”

The last two words that came out of your mouth were choked, and your knees buckled. Remembering what happened, even five years later, it drained all the energy out of you.

“That’s it?” Sunwoo scoffed while lightly stroking your hair. “Y/n, it’s just a nightmare, I’m literally right in front of you. And that’s unrealistic, do you think some pretty sparklers are gonna get rid of the one and only Kim Sunwoo? No way.”

His playful tone of voice put a smile on your face. It’s been five years since you last heard him joking around, so hearing him like that felt surreal. You didn’t know how long this would last, and if it were real or not, but you didn’t want to go back. You wanted to stay with Sunwoo and relive the good memories with your friends—

“Eric!” You scrambled backwards and grabbed him by the wrist. “We have to go to Eric!”

“What? Why?”

“I need to spend time with you, and Eric needs to spend time with you as much as possible before anything else!”

The only sound that came from him was laughter while you dragged him back in the direction of his company. “I spent every minute after school up until twenty minutes ago with him. If anything, Eric and I need to spend less time together.”

“Then, how about a sleepover?” You looked at him hopefully. He scanned your face as if to check for any signs of previous distress. Eventually, he sighed and nodded, making you grin at him.

“Only if you promise me you won’t dream of weird stuff like me dying.” Despite his hesitant tone, he tugged your arm and led the way to your house. “We’re stopping by my place first so I can get clothes.”

December 21, 2021

The alarm clock shocked you awake.

It was eight in the morning, your usual wake up time on days if filming, but filming ended the week before. You sat up and looked at the desk beside your bed. The ashes of the photo you burned sat on the table, bringing you back to your dream. Experience?

Was that real? Did you really travel back and see Sunwoo?

You shook your head. That probably wasn’t the case. The drama just made its way to your head until it manifested in your dreams. Just to be sure, you checked your phone to see if you had Sunwoo’s number.

Kim Sunwoo

No results.

You sighed and put your phone back down. Of course nothing changed. That was just a dream, and he was still… gone.

The day flew by as you spent most of it in bed on your phone or your laptop while searching through the web. It was around midnight when you got the notification for a tweet by Eric’s group. Yes, their notifications were on. Your friend had turned them on himself once when you hung out. Just curious to see what it was about, you clicked on it. It was a few pictures from Sangyeon with the caption saying how the eleven of them were preparing well for their next performance.

Wait, eleven?

Last you checked, they were only 10. In your mind, one specific possibility popped up, but you pushed it down to keep you from getting your own hopes up. With slight hesitation, you messaged Eric.

To: Eric, 9:48 PM

Hey, who’s gonna be there for the Christmas hang out? Like names and all.

From: Eric, 9:49 PM

You gonna come?

It’s gonna be me and the rest of the members, don’t make me list their names. Except Sunwoo. He’s ditching like the grinches you two are.

You blinked. Kim Sunwoo? The one who supposedly passed away five years ago? So, it wasn’t a dream… You actually went back, and somehow that conversation changed things? That didn’t seem possible. There was no way something you did while following the actions in a drama actually led to this.

From: Eric, 9:52 PM

You good?

Sorry for bringing up Sunwoo, I know you two don’t talk anymore.

In all honesty, you’re both at fault here.

You shouldn’t have stood him up, yeah, but he also should stop leaving when you come.

Stood him up?

Suddenly, a flurry of memories rushed through you. An image of a text message asking you to come to the Christmas Village appeared followed by a memory of you and Sunwoo arguing on the 26th. Quick flashes of how you two avoided each other after that followed.

Your hand went up to your head in the pain of the sudden flow of memories. Suddenly you could remember seeing Sunwoo debut with Eric and watching him grow through the screen. You could also remember his glares at you whenever you visited Eric.

So it was true. You did go back in time, and somehow you were able to make it so Sunwoo lived. But he hated you. You shook your head and went to take a shower, hoping it would clear your mind. However, against your better judgement, ways of going back and preventing Sunwoo from hating you were formulating in your head. If going back was possible, then changing things would be possible.

Right out of the shower, you rushed to get clothes on and sat in front of your candle. You lit it then looked through the photos from your old film camera. There was one from the 25th right outside the bus stop. It was of Sunwoo looking up at the snow. A moment before the corner touched the flame, you paused. It was one of the pictures of Sunwoo that you loved the most, and you weren’t sure if you were just hallucinating things. Would it be worth it to burn the photo?

Sunwoo’s glare made its way into your mind. With that, you shook your head and placed the corner of the picture into the fire. Just as the flames almost reached your fingers, you heard the numberpad of your door beeping. In surprise, you set the burning photo in the candle and turned around just in time to see a familiar head of dark hair entering your apartment.

“It smells like fire in here,” Eric criticized as soon as he walked in and removed his shoes. “Y/n, please don’t tell me you’ve turned to smoking.”

You shook your head and glanced at the candle, which already held no trace of the picture you burnt. God, what if you travelled back while Eric was talking to you? You wondered what would happen. “No, I just lit a candle. What are you doing here? You should be resting at your dorm.”

With a shrug, he placed the plastic bag he had on a table and walked towards you. Any second now, and you could disappear, yet there was your friend looking at you strangely. The way he was looking into your eyes weirded you out, so you raised your eyebrow at him.

“I thought I might have upset you.” He receded and walked back towards the table and pulled out some ice cream. “I know you’re still upset about Sunwoo, but you can’t really blame him. He was gonna confess to you, so he took it as both a rejection and betrayal.”

“Confess?” Your eyes widened at this new information.

“Yeah, he literally yelled that out at you the next day. Are you okay?” He approached you and placed a hand on your forehead. A frown made its way to his face. “I think you need to lie down, your temperature feels high. Wait, I’ll go buy medicine.”

He carefully helped you into bed and put the ice cream he bought in your freezer. You closed your eyes in relief and disappointment as soon as the door closed. Why weren’t you going back? What wasn’t working? Did you do something wrong?

Just as the thoughts were starting to surface, a wave of sleepiness took over you. Before you knew it, everything went black.

December 25, 2016

You opened your eyes to find snow falling in front of you. Sunwoo’s curious look was the next thing you notice. You did it. You went back. This was your chance to change things! What could you do to convince him to not go to the Christmas Village?

He was gonna confess to you.

Eric’s voice echoed in your head. Confess… Then that probably meant he liked you, didn’t it? Your heart raced as you processed the fact that your best friend liked you. But did you like him? You always say you love him, but did your feelings extend romantically?

You bit your lip in deep thought. You could figure out your feelings later, for now, maybe you could use that to your advantage and convince him to not go.

His confused face twisted into a smirk when he noticed your camera in hand while you stared. “You so have a crush on me.”

“I do.” The words left your mouth with ease. You watched as he looked at you with shock.

“What? I—“

“I like you,” you continued, tone getting somewhat desperate. “And I kind of want us to have a calm Christmas. Just somewhere not so loud and busy where we can actually, you know, talk? I’m sorry if I surprised you, but—“

A pair of soft lips cut you off before you could talk more. Your eyes widened upon the realization that your best friend was kissing you. You were even more surprised at the fact that it felt completely natural and comfortable. His hands rested on your waist like they were at home there, and his lips fit perfectly against your own. Even your arms found their way around his neck without struggle.

After what felt like a few moments too short, Sunwoo pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. In shock and slight embarrassment, you dropped your eyes down to his jacket, avoiding any eye contact.

“You beat me to it,” he chuckled. “I was supposed to confess to you after the fireworks show, but you beat me to it.”

“Sorry.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. You could hear him hum in amusement before he took a step back and held out his hand. You looked at it in confusion.

“Come on,” he laughed, “we’re going somewhere quiet like you want.”

You cautiously rested your hand on his outstretched one before he tightened his hold on you and pulled you down the opposite street. “Come on, there’s this little cafe behind the company. Some of the hyungs and I found it—“

Your eyes widened when you heard a vehicle coming. “Sunwoo, wait!”

Next thing you knew, you were shoved onto the sidewalk, and there was a loud crash behind you.

December 22, 2021

You shot up out of bed, breath ragged and palms sweaty. Did you just witness Sunwoo die a second time but differently? You pressed a hand to your forehead. God, was Eric right? Did you catch a fever?

“Hey.” A familiar voice caught your attention, making you look up. The sight that met you was one you never thought you’d see. In front of you, poking his head through the door, was Kim Sunwoo. His hair was brown, and not styled specially, but you thought it looked great. His features were more defined, and he definitely looked more mature than the version of him she had seen five years ago.

“Sunwoo?”

“Did you have a nightmare?” He walked into your room, making you notice one other thing about him.

He was limping.

That’s when the memories flooded your mind. He had been hit by a motorcycle that day you travelled back to. It fractured his leg and hit a nerve in a way where he couldn’t completely move his leg properly anymore, even as he healed. He lived, but he lost his dream. He couldn’t dance, so he couldn’t be an idol.

“It’s okay,” he sat on the edge of your bed and pulled you into a hug. “I’m right here, your nightmares can’t get you.”

Wordlessly, you wrapped your arms around him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Can’t spend Christmas without your boyfriend, right?” He chuckled. Huh. So you did end up with him. “Eric will be here in a bit, too, but you know him and his idol schedule. It’s a mess.”

You buried your head into his neck. “It should have been your schedule too.”

You could feel him shake his head. “That’s a dream for another lifetime. And I like being able to spend time with you.”

You backed away slightly and looked at him. There was a comforting smile on his face, but something in his eyes said he was missing something. You glanced up on the shelf and saw your old pouch filled with polaroid photos.

If you could find a way to keep him alive and without turning against you, then you could find a way to do both without interfering with his dream in the 28 chances you still had. One look at Sunwoo made you want to bring back the excitement in his eyes whenever he talked about something new he learned in training or worked on in the studio.

You won’t stop until you do so.

#how do you tag normal fanfics that aren’t additions 😭#kinda wanna make a part 2 #don’t mind me being awkward i haven’t written an idol x reader fic since like 2019 or early 2020 aksjdjjf #tbz #the boyz #sunwoo #the boyz sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #tbz kim sunwoo #kim sunwoo #sunwoo x reader #kim sunwoo x reader #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo angst

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