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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 7 months

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500 Miles (Chapter Eleven)

Summary: This is Part Nineteen of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Teen and Up

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Light Angst, Emotional Conversations, Dealing with Past Trauma, Minor Character Injury, Swearing, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, An Unholy Amount of Fluff

A/N: To underscore my previous note, this is an alternate universe so things have unfolded differently. This will not follow the canon arcs exactly by any means. But I hope you'll still enjoy it!

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Bex

Bex’s guitar case bounced against her back as she jogged into Med on Wednesday afternoon. Tracking down Maggie, April, and Ethan to give them their thank you cookies (or protein balls as the case may be) for helping out at the Grudge Match was easy enough. Dr. Abrams, however, wasn’t anywhere to be found around the ER. That meant it was time for…

Hospital field trip adventure!

A little nosing around and she figured out where his office was located. Even if he wasn’t there, she could at least leave the cookies on his desk. Who didn’t love a cookie surprise?

“Cookie surprise,” she sang under her breath as she made her way down the hall. “Sneaking around for a cookie surprise. What rhymes with sur-pri-i-ise? Cookie surprise is the best…no lies. Cookie surprise is…better than pies.”

Hm. It could use a little more workshopping.

She was so focused on testing out different -ies rhymes that she almost walked into Dr. Abrams as he was leaving his office.

“Ms. Herrmann,” he said with a nod.

“Dr. Abrams.” Bex nodded back.

Maybe this would become their thing. Cool, succinct nodding.

Bex offered up the cookie container to him. “Thank you for helping out with the Grudge Match,” she said. “We really appreciated you stepping up to the plate.” Sportsball jokes. She’s got ‘em.

He gave her a flat look as he accepted the cookies. Meh. He’d appreciate it more once it sank in a little.

"Fair is foul and foul is fair,” Dr. Abrams said solemnly before flashing a grin so quickly she almost missed it. “My suggestion for next year’s canteen t-shirts,” he explained. “I quite enjoyed the one’s for this year.”

Oooh, that was—that was good. She liked that. “You and me, doc,” she said, motioning between them as he headed back into his office. “Same wavelength. This friendship is going places. I can feel it.”

He closed the door on her.

But not before she caught another little smile on his face…and heard the snap of the container being opened behind the door.

“We’ll catch up later,” Bex called, patting the door as she headed down the hall.

Her cookie deliveries had been speedy enough that she was a bit early for her volunteer shift in Peds. All of the kids were highly entertained by her photos of Kol playing in the Grudge Match and everyone agreed he needed a uniform next year. Good. The more votes on her side the better.

After some mildly chaotic music and art time, Bex’s shift was up and she made a beeline for the coffee cart outside the hospital. A caffeine boost was required to carry her through the rest of the day.

Blinking at the bright sun as she exited the building, she laughed when the cart came into view. Great minds think alike. “Will! Connor!” Bex called out, waving at them when they turned around at her voice.

“Hey!” Will grinned at her as she joined them at the end of the line. “How was volunteering?”

“Awesome,” she said, leaning into him for a little side hug. “Everyone’s doing well so they had tons of energy and went nuts over the pictures of Kol from the game.” Which reminded her…

“I’m been thinking.” Bex turned to look up at Will. “What do you think about training Kol to be a therapy dog? I’d love to be able to bring him in to volunteer with me someday.”

Will’s eyebrows flew up as he thought that over.

“He’s got the temperament for it,” Connor said, stepping forward to place their order.

“Let’s look into it,” Will said. “If he likes it, I’m not against pursuing it.”

Bex cheered. She used her happy dance to maneuver her way in front of Connor to pay for the three of them against their immediate protests. “Too slow! Deal with it!”

“We’re in charge of dinner tonight,” Will countered. “We’ll be home before you anyway.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Bex gave them both a smooch before leaving. She smiled to herself on the way to her car. Connor had been over at their place more often than not lately and it was actually pretty nice. The four of them having family dinners. Fighting over the bathroom.

Bex like the noise and the coziness of it all.

Of course, it wasn’t going to last long with Emery moving out, but Bex was trying not to think about that and just enjoy herself in the meantime.

She arrived at the Tin Can and fought with the sticky door to get inside. Plenty of time to zip home to take Kol out and then meet up with Jay for her lesson.

The Tin Can coughed as she tried to start it.

And tried again.

One more time and the engine finally caught. Hah. “Who says I need a new car, Christopher?” she cackled under her breath. Bex backed up, turning up her music to cover the strange clanky noise from the rear that kept happening and rolled on out of the parking lot.

***

Jay

Jay jogged down the stairs, done for the day and ready for a training session with Bex. She’d already texted a bit ago that she was on her way.

“Mini Halstead’s here,” Platt said as he walked by the desk, not even looking up from her paperwork. Jay glanced around and Platt shook her head. “Not inside yet, but everyone in a five-mile radius heard her car squeal its way into the parking lot.”

He held up a hand at the pinched look she sent him. “You try convincing her to get a new car because we’ve tried.”

Platt tilted her head, pondering that challenge and Jay almost felt bad about possibly setting her on Bex, but not if it was the thing that actually pushed her to get a new freaking car.

As if on cue, the door to the precinct swung open and Bex came rushing in. “I’m here!” She flashed a grin and a wave at Platt before linking arms with Jay. “Hi, Trudy!”

“Mini-Halstead,” Platt snorted. “Get going for your mini-badass lessons. You’re cluttering up my area.”

Bex scrunched her nose at her. “Bye, Trudy,” she said, tugging Jay down the hall.

Hailey, Julie, and Sam had just shown up themselves when Bex and Jay arrived at the training room. Bex eyed the four of them as she started her stretches. “So…what’s the plan for today?”

Jay heard the underlying question clear as day. Was he going to be as stubborn as he was on Monday? No, okay? He’d listened to Bex and Hailey and now they were all here and he was just going to do his best to let them run this session however they needed to.

Hailey met his eyes and he gave her a nod that he hoped conveyed all of that.

“The plan is,” she began. “Jay and Sam are going to leave and come back in an hour.”

Wait.

“I can help—”

“An hour, Jay,” Hailey said, firmly. “It’ll give Bex and I a chance to talk and see where we’re at.” She raised her eyebrows at him, waiting, and Bex stood there watching him like she expected him to argue.

Whatever they needed. He could do that.

Jay smiled at them and then jerked a nod at Sam who followed him out. They stood in the hall while the door shut behind them.

Now what? He probably couldn’t get away with spending the hour with his ear against the door.

“Wanna go get a coffee?” Sam shrugged at him.

“It’s a million degrees outside,” Jay grumbled.

…maybe he was a little frustrated about not being allowed to stay in the room.

Sam, easily the most mellow of all of Bex’s friends, rolled along easily with it. “How about one of those icy, fruity drink things from café down the street,” he offered with a grin. “My treat.”

Jay stared at him.

And sighed.

“Yeah, okay.”

***

Hailey

Hailey waited a beat to see if Jay was going to come busting back through the door, but somewhat surprisingly, it stayed shut. She turned to Bex and Julie. “Let’s talk.”

The three of them sat cross-legged on the mats, facing each other. Bex looked a bit nervous and Hailey could hardly blame her. It wasn’t like they knew each other super well.

But they had at least this one thing on common.

Julie too, sad as that was. She and Hailey had compared notes earlier in the day to get on the same page for how to handle this training session and a few details had been hesitantly shared over a cup of coffee and some stale donuts.

It made Hailey ache to think of how many women had this in common.

“What are we talking about?” Bex asked, cutting through her thoughts. “I thought maybe we were going to dive into things today…”

“We’re definitely going to train today,” Julie said. “But we’re not going to dive into it.” She held up a hand when Bex opened her mouth to protest. “We need to talk first. If we’re doing this, we’re going to be safe and smart about it.”

Bex sat back with a nod, seemingly satisfied by that answer for now.

“Jay filled me in on things,” Hailey began. “But I’d like to hear from you, if you don’t mind. What is it that you want to accomplish here, Bex? What are your goals?”

“I want to be able to defend myself,” she said immediately. “I know we’ve worked on my freezing and getting out of holds and blocks and stuff, but it doesn’t—it doesn’t feel like enough. I want to feel like I could handle myself if—if someone came after me. That I could hold my own.” Her shoulders crept up as her voice got tight. “With what happened with Ty…” Bex took a deep breath. “If Jay hadn’t been there, he would have hurt me and then he would have hurt Emery. I want to know that I won’t let something like that happen again.”

Ah.

There it was.

“Bex,” Hailey said gently. “You know what happened wasn’t your fault—”

That got an immediate eyeroll. “I know that—”

“Okay, well, then if you know that,” Hailey said. “You also know you don’t have to redeem yourself.”

Bex stared hard down at an invisible spot on the mat, not saying anything.

“You did nothing wrong,” Hailey continued. “You reacted in an understandable way to a terrifying situation. I’ve been there.”

“Me too,” Julie added.

That had her looking at them finally.

“Different situations,” Hailey said. “Same result.”

“We know what it’s like to feel helpless, Bex.” Julie reached out to squeeze her hand. “I understand wanting to have tools at your disposal. I just don’t want you going into this thinking you have anything to make up for.”

“I—” Bex sighed. “I’m working on remembering that. Really.” She met their gazes with wide eyes. “Can we still work on punching in the meantime?”

Hailey laughed. “Yeah, but we need to talk about that too,” she said, holding up a hand. “Let’s manage our expectations here.”

“Manage how?” Bex frowned.

Being blunt was the only way to get through this part. “The odds of you winning a full-on fight with someone the size of Ty are slim to none,” Hailey said, giving it to her straight. “A guy like that has a greater muscle mass, more force behind his hits and he’s got a longer reach.”

“Even with training, it would be difficult,” Julie agreed. “But winning a fight isn’t our goal.”

Confusion coloured Bex’s face. “Okay, I guess I get that, but then what is?”

“Two things.” Hailey held up her fingers to tick off the points. “First is to be able to react quickly if you’re hit or knocked down. The first moment is crucial and leaves you vulnerable.”

“That’s definitely something I wanted to work on,” Bex agreed.

“We’ll knock you down until you’re able to pop right back up,” Hailey said, getting a smile out of her for that. “The second thing is ways to quickly cause maximum damage with minimal effort.”

“Also known as how to fight dirty,” Julie chimed in and earned them another grin.

“We’re going to teach you how to incapacitate your assailant for long enough to try and get away,” Hailey continued. “That’s always the goal, Bex. Strike hard and get away so you can call for help. It’s the best way to stay safe.”

“Okay.” Bex nodded, her chin set with determination. “How do we start?”

“On your feet.” Hailey scrambled up and motioned for Bex and Julie to do the same. “No matter what happens, you have to always remember to breathe. The sooner you can focus yourself, the sooner you can get back on your feet.”

“Breathe,” Bex repeated. “I can do tha—”

Hailey swept her leg out, kicking Bex’s legs out from under her and she landed on the mats with a thud.

“Jesus fuc—”

“Breathe.” Hailey leaned over her. “And get back up. You stay down, you’re dead. It’s as simple as that. Get up, Bex.” She held a hand out for Bex who took a deep breath and grabbed it. Hailey hauled her up to her feet.

Julie stepped in to lay a hand on Bex’s arm, checking in, but Bex waved her off with a little smile.

“Again.”

***

Jay

“You were right,” Jay said, taking a final slurp of his drink. “I didn’t think I’d like mango and pineapple, but that was pretty dang good.”

“Devon is the smoothie king of our house.” Sam grinned at him, just a tiny bit smug. “I’m well versed in all of the best flavour combinations.”

He might have enjoyed their drink expedition despite himself, but Jay had still been keeping one eye on the time. They were headed back to the station with eight minutes to spare. Sam dropped off a drink for Platt at the desk. ‘How do you think Tay and I keep getting the nice squad car?’ being the faultless logic behind that.

They chucked their own finished drinks in the garbage and went down to the training room. The shouts and slams coming through the door were not making him feel great about agreeing to this whole thing.

Jay pushed the door open and stepped inside—

To see Hailey slamming into Bex and taking her down to the mat with a thud.

“What the hell, Hailey?”

Julie got in his way before he could rush over to them. “Give her a second,” she said and sure enough, Hailey was already on her feet, chanting at Bex to get up. And Bex was…scrambling up on her own, looking exhausted.

And breathlessly excited.

“Did you see that, Jay?”

“I sure did.” He raised an eyebrow at Hailey. “Thinking we need to buy about a thousand ice packs on the way home.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Hailey said, pointing a finger back at him. “We’re ready to take a break on this part and move on to phase two.”

Julie straightened up from where she’d been digging around in a bag and threw two somethings in his and Sam’s direction. They both caught them. Sam groaned while Jay took a minute to process what he was holding.

A freaking groin guard.

“Seriously?” He held it up and glared at Hailey.

She smiled back at him, big and wide as she shrugged. “Bex needs to learn how to strike and, uh, where,” she said, holding up a pair of helmets. “You gonna help or not?”

He exchanged a look with Sam and they both sighed, resigned. Of course they were…on one condition. “We signing Ruzek and Atwater to help with this next week, right?”

“Among others,” Hailey said.

“Okay, then,” Jay said, twirling the cursed jockstrap in his hands. “Let’s do this.”

***

Bex

On Thursday, the only thing that kept Bex moving was knowing that Jay was probably as sore as she was, if not more. And that was in service to helping her so she really couldn’t complain.

But also, ow.

Hailey didn’t mess around.

Not that Bex wasn’t grateful! Because she was. She really was. Yesterday’s lesson had been so helpful and Bex was actually looking forward to more. Everything she learned was making her feel more competent and sure of herself. The weight training with Sam was paying off too.

There’d definitely been some oomph behind her hits on Jay and Sam.

Which she obviously felt bad about.

…but kind of badass at the same time.

Bex’s grin turned into a grimace as she attempted to bend over and attach Kol’s leash to his collar. He whined and stretched to lick at her face. “I’m okay,” she said. “Just dying a little bit. Mostly in the gluteal area.”

Kol barked once, sharply.

“I’m not cancelling!” She straightened up carefully and grabbed her bag. “Mouse walks are non-cancellable. I’ll survive.”

They slowly, very slowly, made their way down to the parking lot and made it to the park right on time. Mouse was waiting, but he rushed over once he saw her getting out of the car. Her winces must not have been as well hidden as she’d thought.

“Hey,” he said, taking Kol’s leash and hovering while she reached back in to grab her bag. “Jay told me about yesterday. We can reschedule today if you’re not up to it. I don’t want you to hurt yourself or pull anything or—”

“Mouse.” Bex laid a hand on his arm and smiled up at him. “There’s no possible way that I could pull anything any further than it’s already been pulled.

His face screwed up at that. “Was that supposed to be reassuring? I’m not reassured, Bex.”

“I’ll be fine,” she laughed. “It’ll be good to stretch things out and we’ll make sure we go slow.”

Mouse didn’t look fully convinced, but he took her bag and kept a hold on Kol so Bex’s arm wouldn’t get pulled and then started them down the path at a ludicrously slow pace.

“Okay, we can speed it up a little bit, seriously,” Bex said and Mouse shook his head.

“Nope.” The edge of his lips quirked up. “This is good. Leisurely. Gives us a chance to really take in the scenery.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

He just offered his arm and Bex looped hers around his elbow. They continued down the path, taking in the scenery, and even Kol seemed content with their snail’s pace.

“Aside from the fact that you’re apparently a walking bruise today,” Mouse said. “How did yesterday go?”

“Really great, actually,” Bex said. She tried to figure out how to put it into words. “It’s hard, but it’s the good kind of hard, you know? I feel more…centered, I guess.”

Mouse hummed softly. “I’m glad it’s helping,” he said. There was a quiet beat and Bex felt his arm tense under her hand as he took a quick breath. “I could help. If you want.” He raised a hand to drag it through his hair before remembering it held Kol’s leash. “It’s just, uh, I know a fair bit about hand-to-hand and uh, I could—if you want—I could, uh, I could help.”

“Jay did mention that,” Bex said. “I just—I don’t want to practice my fight skills on you. Not when—”

“We’re working on figuring everything else out?” Mouse guessed.

“Yeah.” Bex sighed, glad that he got it. “Exactly.” She perked up. “Besides, beating up Jay is actually kind of fun. He used to always win when we wrestled, but I’m getting better. I think I can take him and I’ve got like, fifteen years of losses to make up for.”

Mouse laughed. “Well, I obviously can’t stand in the way of that.”

“Did Jay ask you to volunteer?” She side-eyed him. “Was he complaining after yesterday? Is he being a big baby?”

“No,” Mouse shook his head, laughing even harder. “I swear he didn’t.”

Bex grinned as she kept pushing, making jokes about Jay’s face when he saw the groin guard. Mouse didn’t often let loose like this. She liked seeing it.

They kept walking, talking about the rest of their week as they meandered down the path. It was nice and relaxed and…normal. As weird as that sounded. But they hadn’t had a lot of that.

She knew these walks were about sharing all the red flags Mouse seemed to think he had, but in her mind, this was also their goal. Having the chance to just be and enjoy each other’s company. They’d both shared plenty last time and it was hard. Good, but hard.

If Mouse didn’t feel like bringing anything up, she wasn’t going to push it. She wanted him to go at his own pace. And honestly, she was tired enough today that she was happy to take it easy both physically and emotionally.

Even without discussing anything ‘big’, the conversation flowed easily, punctuated by more laughter. Mouse was gratifyingly appreciative of her Dr. Abrams impression.

“Should Sam be worried about not being your favourite Sam anymore?” he joked.

“Pssh,” Bex waved a hand. “They’re in totally different categories. It’s fine.”

Mouse snorted. “There’s categories?”

“Yeah, of course,” she said. “And I’d never base them on names.”

“Obviously not.”

Bex ignored his smirk. “Aside from the Med category, I’d put Dr. Abrams in my grumpy old man friend category.”

“Ah,” Mouse nodded. “So, it’s Olinsky and Voight who should be worried.”

“See? You get it.”

“Yeah, no, I’m seeing the vision,” he said. “What are some of the other categories?”

The rest of their walk devolved into semi-hysterics as they sorted everyone they knew into increasingly ridiculous friendship categories. They were almost back to the parking lot when Bex’s speed slowed to a near crawl.

Okay, so she might be more than a little stiff.

“Hang on.” Mouse moved to step in front of her and crouched down. “Okay, hop on.”

“Another piggy back ride? Are you sure?”

He looked over his shoulder at her. “It’s a limited time offer.”

Bex hopped on.

The three of them managed to make it back to the car without Kol tripping them up and Mouse deposited her carefully onto the ground.

“Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to need to do some serious stretches before my shift tonight.”

Mouse’s eyebrows flew up. “You’re actually working at Molly’s tonight?”

“I finally got Emery to agree to come out and I want to introduce her to more people,” Bex explained. “It’ll be fine. I’ll talk Otis into doing most of the moving for me.” He could be bribed.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later tonight then,” Mouse said.

She grabbed his arm before he could step away. “Thanks again,” she said. “For today. It was really fun.”

“It was.” Mouse gave her that small, soft smile and she couldn’t stop herself from pulling him into a hug. He went easily, wrapping his arms around her.

“You know I read a thing today that said you need eight hugs a day?” she said into his shoulder and he made a little noise of surprise against her hair. “And that’s just like, for maintenance.” She leaned back to look into his face. “How many have you had today?”

The smile made a reappearance. “Not eight.”

“One more for the road then.” She gave him another squeeze before reluctantly letting go. They parted ways with a wave and she headed home.

After a long soak in the tub and stupid amounts of Voltaren later, she emerged in time to scarf down some food and remind Emery of her promise to swing by the bar. Sam, Isaac, and Devon had promised to bring her so Bex was sure she’d come, but now she was extra sure.

She managed to rope Otis into doing most of the gopher work for the night after promising to make him an ungodly number of cookies. Then she parked herself on a stool and let people come to her for their orders.

Although she almost made Jay go to Chris when he kept laughing at her pain. As if he wasn’t also walking around like…well, like someone had recently repeatedly smacked every sensitive part of his body.

She gave him a few rounds on the house.

Emery did show up and Sam took care of taking her around to meet people. She’d already met a fair amount of their gang, but this was a more thorough introduction. If she was going to be moving out, Bex wanted her to be safe in more ways than one. That meant widening her circle. With good friends and good people.

The biggest moment of the night was when Chris finally let everyone know that he and Cindy were expecting. Apparently, they’d been to see the new doctor that Connor had recommended earlier in the day. Her name was Dr. Gupta and both Cindy and Chris loved her. She was kind and sensitive and best of all, she said everything looked good so far.

Chris stood up on the bar and broke the news, declaring one drink on the house for everyone to celebrate. Cheers of “Firehouse Baby” nearly brought the place down.

Bex was totally going to look into making a Canteen Crew onesie.

***

Connor

Saturday afternoon found Connor and Will lounging in Connor’s living room as they watched a movie. They didn’t usually hang out there, but Bex and Emery were going to be swinging by with some things for the storage locker. They’d been shopping up a storm to find stuff for Emery’s new place. A couch and a bed frame had already been deposited in there and Connor may have snuck in a nice dresser that he’d come across.

And a bookshelf.

And a coffee table.

They’d fit the aesthetic of everything Emery had been looking at! What was he supposed to do? Not buy them?

Maybe he should have asked first.

He chewed on his lip as he sat snuggled in beside Will. Money was an occasionally touchy subject between them all. He’d wanted to chip in since he was spending so much time at Casa Herrmannstead, but it had been a battle to even be allowed to buy some groceries.

It wasn’t like he was offering it as charity or anything. More like, he had the money so why shouldn’t he help out? It made him feel like he was…not a guest. Connor was never sure if that part of it came through in his discussions with Will. He never wanted to overstep so most of the time he just let it go.

A chime from his phone pulled him out of his thoughts. He picked it up and read through the text from Bex. “They’re downstairs and are requesting extra arms to carry everything.”

“Must have been a successful trip,” Will said as he got up and stretched, smirking when he caught Connor eyeing the strip of skin his rising t-shirt exposed. “Help first and then we’ll shoo them off.”

Connor had to love a man with a plan.

They hurried down to the parking lot and saw that it had indeed been a successful trip. Even with four pairs of arms, they only managed to empty half of the Tin Can’s load on the first trip. Trooping back inside, Connor led them down to the storage locker.

Emery, Bex, and Will froze when he opened the door.

“Um, I feel like…things have multiplied?” Emery poked her head in and looked around.

“I may have come across a few things that I thought you would like and would fit in with everything else you’ve been picking up,” Connor said, scratching at the back of his neck as he avoided all eye contact.

“Connor, that’s—” Emery stepped over to him, grabbing him in a hug. “That’s so sweet, seriously, thank you.” She sighed. “I really can’t accept all of this though.”

But— “Why not?” Honestly, he didn’t get it. “It’s a gift. I’m happy to do it.”

Emery scrunched up her face as she let him go. Will and Bex stood behind her very carefully not saying anything. “I’m supposed to be doing this on my own. Standing on my own two feet.”

“You are though,” he said softly. Didn’t she see that? How proud they all were of her? “You have done this for yourself, Em. You’re moving out to your own place. You’re doing great in therapy and you’re getting back out into the world. You are doing all of that. For yourself.” He waved a hand at the storage locker. “This is just some stuff.”

Will coughed quietly as Bex squeaked. Emery just smiled at him fondly. “Really freaking expensive stuff,” she said. “I don’t need—”

“I know you don’t need it,” he said. “I know you can get perfectly serviceable stuff on your own, but—” Connor sighed, trying to figure out how to say what he was feeling without accidentally pissing one of them off. “It’s doesn’t have to be just serviceable stuff. This is your new beginning and I would like to help make it a beautiful one. If you’ll let me?”

“Well, crap,” Emery huffed out a laugh as she wiped away a tea. “How can I argue with that?”

“You don’t,” Connor said with a grin.

“I’ll accept it if you promise me that this is it,” she said, waggling a finger at him. “Don’t buy anything else.” The finger waggle turned into hands on the hips when he hesitated.

“I will do my best,” he said.

Emery threw her hands up. “Okay, fine, we’ll deal with it as it comes,” she said. “But I’ve got my eyes on you now, Rhodes. And there will be a thank you coming your way. A big one.” She and Bex moved into the locker to start moving things around; Bex laughing at the look on his face as she walked by.

“Why did that sound like a threat?” Connor whispered to Will.

“I kind of think it was?” He shrugged. The bastard.

They helped unload the rest of the stuff and successfully shooed the girls off before heading back upstairs. Connor couldn’t help but notice how quiet Will had become since the storage locker surprise.

“Are you upset about it?” Connor finally asked as they worked together in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

Will played dumb as he chopped peppers. “Upset about what?”

Connor turned down the temperature on the stove and turned to face him. “Me spending money on stuff for Emery’s new place.”

“It’s your money,” Will said evenly. Staring pointedly down at the cutting board.

“It is.” Connor stepped over to him and set a careful hand over his, stilling Will’s movements. He waited until he finally looked up at him. “I want to be able to spend money on the people I care about and that includes—it includes all of you, Will. What’s the point of having it if I can’t share it? I know it’s weird for you—”

“Yeah, it is,” Will said shortly, dragging a hand down his face. He left it there for a moment before heaving out a sigh and turning to Connor. “But that’s my own baggage. I shouldn’t put it on you. If you want to buy tables and shit—”

“And shit,” Connor laughed. “He calls a real walnut dresser ‘and shit’.”

Will rolled his eyes before reaching out to reel Connor in for a kiss. “Everyone is happy for you to contribute how you want to contribute,” he said. “Whatever makes you happy.”

“It does.” Connor leaned in to give him another kiss. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Will said. He shook his head. “I’ll work on not being weird about it. I promise. I just—”

Connor kept his arms around Will’s waist, both to not let him run away from the conversation, but also to give him silent support while he gathered his words.

“I also worry about you feeling like you have to contribute this way,” Will said.

This man. Honestly. Warmth spread through Connor at Will’s words.

“I mean,” Will continued. “I really hope that you know this by now, but none of us care about your money—”

“You’ve made that pretty clear.” Connor bit back a smile and Will ignored him, clearly on a mission.

“We—me especially, but all of us, we love having you around Connor,” Will said. “Having you in our lives for you. Not your money. Not what you can buy. Just you.”

“So now is a good time to tell you that I blew everything on that table?” He ducked the piece of red pepper that Will threw at him.

“I was being serious,” Will exclaimed, pelting him with another piece. “And heartfelt and this guy’s got jokes!”

Connor caught the next piece and popped it in his mouth, grinning at Will. “I appreciate it,” he said. “It’s nice having people like me for me.”

“I’m reconsidering it now,” Will sniffed.

“Uh-uh, no take-backs,” Connor said. Will muttered something about him hanging out with Bex too much so Connor poked him which devolved into wrestling which turned into dinner being very, very late.

It was worth it.

***

Mouse

Mouse sat on his couch, exhausted after a long meeting with his group. They’d been full of tips for how to handle his next talk with Bex. He’d put it off long enough. He had to tell her about the rest of his past. Every time he tried to picture it though, a thousand worst case scenarios ran through his brain.

He started tidying up his apartment, hoping to stop his mind from spinning for a moment or two. In the middle of gathering up a pile of junk mail for recycling, a small flyer fluttered to the ground. The title caught Mouse’s eye.

A craft street fair. Bex would love that.

Tomorrow was the last day.

Maybe…maybe he could put their talk off for one more walk. Mouse kind of liked the idea of taking her on a proper date, even if they weren’t calling it that. Have one to remember before he told her everything and risked her walking away.

That would be nice.

Mouse picked up his phone to see if Bex was up for a change of plans.

***

Bex

Mouse had been extremely cryptic in his messages. He had a plan, but she wasn’t allowed to know what it was. All she knew was that it involved a change in venue.

He’d sent her instructions to park at a specific lot at one pm on Sunday and to wait for her there. So, there she was, waiting with Kol beside the Tin Can, and keeping an eye out for Mouse.

…who was currently jogging down the sidewalk toward them? With a giant grin on his face?

“Hey!” Mouse bounded up to them, leaning down to give Kol a scratch before grabbing Bex in a hug. “You made it.”

“We did,” Bex said, unable to stop a smile of her own from spreading across her face. “Now do we get to find out where we’ve made it too?”

“Follow me,” Mouse said, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the sidewalk. He was so excited; he was like a little kid. Bex let herself be tugged down a couple of side streets until they emerged onto one filled with people and vendors up one side and down the other.

“Oh!” Bex’s eyebrows flew up in surprise. “This is the craft fair! I totally wanted to go to this, but I didn’t think it would work out.” Her week had been jam packed and she’d resigned herself to missing it.

“Bex,” Mouse said softly. “Why didn’t you say anything? We could’ve planned it for today.”

“I didn’t want to miss our walk.” Bex bumped her shoulder into his. Their walks were too important. There would always be other craft fairs. “Besides, you found it anyway and you brought me here.” And wasn’t that just…delightful. Bex turned to smile at Mouse, reaching up to smooth at his forehead when she saw he was frowning. That was less delightful. “This is great, Mouse,” she said. “Thank you.”

“I always want you to tell me about this stuff,” Mouse said, intensely earnest as he looked down at her. “I want to know what you’re interested in and do things you want to do. I don’t—I don’t ever want you to miss out on things because of me.”

“Okay, well, first of all, we’re here because of you,” Bex pointed out. “Because you somehow found out about this and knew it was something I would enjoy which is amazing and lovely and I really appreciate it.” He relaxed ever so slightly at that. “And second of all, this is a two-way street, buddy. I want to know what you’re interested in and do things that you want to do.”

“I mean,” Mouse shrugged, “I’m also pretty pumped for this craft fair.”

“Right!” Bex tugged on his arm, pulling him out onto the street and into the flow of the fair. “The needlepoint! I get it now. There’s been an ulterior motive this whole time.”

“It’s a shared experience,” Mouse corrected her. “We’ll enjoy it together—does that sign say Battlestar Galactica patterns?”

Bex cackled as his head whipped around. “Let’s go find out.”

And they did. Hours of wandering from stall to stall and checking out the wide variety of offerings. Stuffing their faces with way too much food. Talking and laughing.

It was kind of perfect.

Bex kept blushing every time Mouse caught her watching him, but that didn’t stop her. And she caught him watching her just as often. She found herself wondering if he was having the same thoughts that she was.

This is what it could be like. This is what we could have—if we let ourselves.

Click here to read Chapter Twelve. Click here to read Chapter Thirteen. Click here to read Chapter Fourteen. Click here to read Chapter Fifteen. Click here to read Chapter Sixteen.

Click here to read 500 Miles on ao3:

Here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @sensitivemallysix, @thebejeweledwatercat, @emme-looou, @trulylavandedarling, @onechicagochoicesbutterfly

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ne0nwithazero · 9 months

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was tenna created before or after the real tenna's name reveal? :>

He was created after! :) I feel like info dumping on the whole thought process of creating Tenna, so here's a wall of text

For a while, I debated on the idea of renaming Host to Tenna... And while it is canon that Host isn't their real name, scrapping their real name also felt kind of meh even if I never properly announced it?

It didn't help that for a long while I kept getting messages from people asking if I'd ever make a lovechild for Mike and Host, and I was mostly meh on it

Then Sweepstakes happened and Tenna designs started appearing and I kind of started floating this idea of having a Tenna as a final boss you'd meet in the Cable after Mike and Host and oooo big reveal, it turns out he was M&H's kid all along!!

But they don't talk because errr family drama, and he distanced himself during Big Shot era (Which was my Tenna's original backstory before his timeline was adjusted to make him be born after Mike and Spam's falling out)

But yeah, for a while it was this idea of the "real" boss at the end, just this arrogant more modern TV who's all about showbiz, and thinks M&H are outdated and doesn't want to be associated with them. In an alternate universe, this is what Tenna could have turned out like lol

But I kept getting stuck on the design, and particularly the Light World form. I was set on the Mic-TV darkner hybrid, but to make things easier, they had to be more TV than Mic, but as far as we know, there was only one TV in Toriel's house, and the only other TV we see is... well...

In Asgore's flower shop (If there are other TVs in the Light World, then I am 100% forgetting about them so correct me if I'm wrong lol)

But yeah, the fact that it was Asgore's TV, still kept the connection with the Dreemur House and Tenna ended up being concepted as a TV that used to be in the main home, but was moved during Asgore and Toriel's divorce. The TV has this washed-out brown colour, so it has enough believability to the idea that it maybe used to be grey just like Mike is.

And considering that Mike and Host are intended to reflect Asgore and Toriel in some aspects (Minus the divorce lol), it made sense that their kid would end up reflecting Kris and Asriel, so that kind of ended up all properly tying into place :)

Tenna might have he/they pronouns to match with his parents, but it's also meant to have that connection with Kris and Asriel who use they/them and he/him

idk, I know it's a big ramble but I really enjoy talking about my thought process when making characters....

But I think Tenna's connections with Ralsei are a bit less subtle hahaha Especially when both reflect Asriel and Kris' family in some way...

#jay asks #seven-oh-four #Tenna #Host #Mike #Kris

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manogirl · 8 months

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Rewatch Wednesday: On Loving -- and Hating -- 2gether

I have a 2gether problem. The problem is that my brain is almost always prodding me to rewatch 2gether, and I don't even LIKE 2gether. Or that's what I've been saying about 2gether for a while now. My original review (in my terrible google doc) is "7/10, terrible show, loved it." And I am all for holding 2 diametrically opposed truths in your mind, so that review isn't weird to me. What's weird is that a few months after that (exact timeline unknown) I started framing it as "I can't stop watching this show, and I hate this show."

And I do firmly believe that there's a lot to hate about 2gether. Khaotung Thanawat is WASTED as a brilliant actor, for instance. Bright and Win can't, for even 2 seconds, seem to want to kiss each other. Green is. UGH. Green is ugh. A terribly written character. The directing is meh, because someone should have been able to pull something out of Win Metawin. Anything! One emotion. The 11th-13th episodes are entirely 100% without a motherfucking doubt unnecessary. (Though I cannot do without the bits where Sarawat explains how he acted when away from Tine and talking to his friends about Tine. I love non-aloof Sarawat so much.)

The other thing is that I don't have a tie to 2gether like some fans do; for many people, it seems to be the show that got them into BL, so they have an affection for it I don't have. I definitely *understand how* that feels, because I feel that way about Bad Buddy. I love Bad Buddy and will never tire of watching it, either in little snippets or in giant gulps of hours of watching. I don't have that attachment to 2gether (though sometimes I wonder fondly what would have happened if I had discovered BL at the beginning of the pandemic), so my brain's frantic need to watch doesn't make sense from that angle.

But my god, there are moments in the show I just cannot get enough of:

the aforementioned scenes when Sarawat is so so excited about finding Tine

Fong drunkenly kicking Tine in the face; in fact, all the drunk scenes are excellent and I adore them

Though I think Win has a hard time pulling it off, the scene when Sarawat tells Tine how he really feels, and then Tine confesses how he's been missing Tine

Those goddamn soccer jerseys

The product placement juice bottle notes (!!!!!)

Bright in general; I think his acting is miles better than Win's, and I think he's playing Sarawat as a gay man, which I like

Okay fine, I like looking at Bright and Win. They are very attractive men.

(Here is where I confess there is a thing I do when I love a BL in a specific certain way: I call the two main protagonists "dummies". Like, "I love these dummies so much." Or "What are these adorable dummies doing?" Or "These men are my dummies and I love them." If I say a sentence that has that kid of cadence with the word dummies in it, my husband knows that I'm watching (and loving) a BL. But not all shows elicit this response! I have never once said about Pat and Pran: "Would you look at these dummies?" (affectionate) It isn't about the intelligence of the characters though, because the last time I spoke this way about two characters was for HIStory 3: MODC and neither one is unintelligent in any way. I don't know why this is a thing I do; it just is.)

Anyway, Sarawat and Tine were my first dummies, and I love them so much and I can't explain it. Because I also hate them and their inability to so much as have one carnal thought about one another. But I love their silly little faces so much and really wish I could smush them together. 2gether. But they're the worst. The absolute worst.

How many weeks will I go without another rewatch?

#2gether #sarawattine #bright vachirawit #win metawin #gmmtv #thai bl #khaotung thanawat

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fourspiceblend · 2 years

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Nobody asked for this but now that we have all the student trailers these are my actual thoughts on the redesigns (since I know we won't get a trailer for the faculty next week and even if they're unlockable/DLC later I don't trust IS to give them a glow up). I'm only talking personal preference here, no deep analysis into what the costumes signify or whatever.

Edelgard: on its own? It's a cute design, and the hair looks pretty nice in spite of how thin the braid looks. Coming from 3H? Uninspired and bland. The red emperor dress had presence, it signified power, it had that Enormous Bitch Who Will Ruin Your Day energy. I'm not sensing any of that here, it's like they wanted to remind us she's 5'2" and likes teddy bears and probably wears floaties to the beach. 6/10, isn't lower because I like red.

Hubert: massive downgrade. They masacred him for the meme potential. 2/10, would hate it less if his original TS design didn't exist and set such a high standard for Hubert swag, but sadly this is the timeline we live in.

Ferdinand: meh. The hair looks fine but his outfit says nothing. 5/10

Linhardt: Gender/10. The clear winner of the Eagles. He's even wearing a nun collar to boot! May as well be wearing that "I really wish I weren't here right now" button and I love that for him. His whole cozy outfit looks like it would be great for naps. I wish him the best.

Caspar: deserved better. I always hated his TS outfit to begin with, but his undercut gave him a cute shonen boy edge. This hairstyle makes him look like all of my male classmates in middle school, and I went to middle school in the 2000's. I can smell the Axe body spray from here. 1/10

Bernadetta: she looks like an onion. 4/10, and only because I like her outfit and color scheme. No, I don't care that "it fits her".

Dorothea: pretty, but doesn't do much for me. 7/10, but overall a downgrade. The braid is sick tho.

Petra: 9/10. It's grown on me. I like that they gave her sandals, and THE BRAIDS ARE BACK!! Braids good.

Dimitri: 7/10, not great, not terrible, always good to see him with both eyes. His original TS look will always be iconic though. Hard to top that honestly.

Dedue: 10/10. They took everything we love about his design and made it better, gave him his earring back, and gave him a BEARD! AND a BRAID! I am a simple human with simple tastes, and I love everything that's going on in here.

Felix: 6/10. No tsundere thigh highs, no poofy sleeves, he's wearing a bump-it. The hair itself isn't terrible but I got so used to the spiky volleyball hair that seeing him in a hairstyle that actually looks normal feels out of character for him. It's fine I guess, but his outfit is missing that wealthy douchebag energy the old one had.

Ashe: cute, very Ashe, a little bit of gender going on. 7/10, nothing much to say here.

Sylvain: 0/10. They didn't even try.

Mercedes: ara ara/10. Absolute perfection. I do admit I miss the hat, but her hair is so gorgeous she doesn't even need it.

Annette: 10/10. The winner of the Lions. It's like she's ready to open up her bakery. I do still have a soft spot for her old timeskip dress but the hair is very much an upgrade. I want to pick her up and put her in my pocket.

Ingrid: 3/10. I just wanted the braid back.

Claude: 8/10, would be higher if he still had a beard. The color scheme is pretty nice.

Hilda: 8/10, love her look but still prefer the original. I'm glad they didn't really change much and kept it very much her.

Lorenz: 8/10, again not much of a change, he's very Lorenz and I'm here for that.

Raphael: 9/10. It just fits him better than his original TS look. He looks ready to go rock climbing with you. He looks like he would host the sickest barbecue ever.

Ignatz: 6/10. Love the hair clips and side swept thing going on, not the biggest fan of everything else.

Lysithea: 7/10. I will not forgive them for taking the veil away, but the outfit overall is cute, it's just not as great as the original. It's just kinda... plain? Yeah, sorry.

Marianne: 9/10. HAIR DOWN!!! That's it. That's literally the only thing I wanted and I got it so I can't complain. Also she still looks very much like a holy woman, but her hair is short enough that we can see her back window... business in the front, party in the back.

Leonie: 7/10. While I'm happy the short hair is back, the actual haircut itself doesn't say much and would have preferred something much closer to her academy hair. Still a cute design overall tho.

#long post #few3h #i'm not tagging everyone or everything #this is kind of a shitpost but i'm very serious about those scores #i feel like the lions and eagles had clear winners and losers #meanwhile the deer had mostly everyone look pretty good and i don't feel particularly strong about anyone's looks

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thatblondeperson · 2 years

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I don't want to come across as a whiner or someone just complaining as an angry shipper and if my question feels like this you can ignore it but based on the Tim Drake Robin issue 1 and the interview with Meghan do you think she's throwing Tim and Stephanie's relationship under the bus/downplaying it?

I don't think it's any more whiny than my answer will be.

The interview is meh. She's right in why Bernard was the chosen character:

There IS enough of a hint that you could ignite something from it. Hopefully her calling him dear will give us something of a character with him.

I think this is fucking stupid because no he does not:

I think that this is super bland:

It's just not a new way to tell things, and his track record with dating has been his fault because of his Robin secret most times, and struggling to find balance. We all know who broke that mold, I'll get to her. But it's just...we're doing the same thing again. We do it all the time with Tim. Maybe we let Tim be the curious one instead and have the other person freak out about messing up, idfk.

This is annoying and immature imo:

Comic book writers, plz stop playing games with Twitter and just focus on writing something with a touch more substance.

As far as the comic itself.

Let's just get this out of the way...I hate this art...

It's very stylized and dynamic in it's own way, and it's very squishy creepy...if that makes sense? Like if you put some creature feature monsters in a lava lamp. It's not quite right for a Tim story imo, I'd probably dislike it less in a more appropriate context. Love the backgrounds and filler panels, but the colors and the stylizing of the people don't give me "fun new Robin run about figuring yourself out!"

This of course is where I get frustrated.

Obviously it is correct that this is something Tim has never felt before, and it's different. Those are both beautiful statements that can be said without throwing any of his other relationships under the bus. Remember, as of YJ 2019 #5, he got all his prior timeline memories back.

He knows about Ari, Steph, Cassie, Zo, Tam, and Bernard but we're there so I'm just gonna talk ladies here.

There's obviously merit and beauty to him feeling like another part of his repressed self has reemerged or finally getting to see the light of day in his new relationship with Bernard. he feels more wholly himself than he has before, in a new way. BUT! Do we have to say that previously he never felt that way, or that those relationships have less merit on the road to discovery because he settled? It’s not like...really saying that but I’m concerned that we’ll get there.

We know how much he loved Ari, how he planned to be with her for a LONG time, how deeply he respected her and adored her. You can't tell me Ari was a settle. She was his first love.

Cassie is a maybe in the context of why the relationship started, but Cassie was his best friend for YEARS whom he trusted and adored, and I don't think he would look back on that relationship poorly. Just consider it a misstep whilst mourning a shared loss.

You cannot tell me that Tam and Zo weren't the ones settling for TIM. The boy was a mess and those two had far too much patience while he essentially BS'd his way through life and those respective relationships.

And Steph. Obviously we all know she wasn’t a settle.

I have read posts that describe “settle” as more of a settling for being straight, or less than his authentic self, and that’s all well and good, I just don’t like the word choice as it obviously could have other less kind connotations about anyone he was previously romantically involved with.

I think that. as others more eloquent than myself have stated, that Meghan doesn't always write super great dialogue and her stories are choppy. But you know anon, we're only on issue number one and there is room for things to expand. I'm not the target demographic of this, I'm just a person online being whiny about the overuse of the trope of "you're only really in love once!!! all other times were fake!!!" And I don’t even know if that’s the direction this will go tbh.

I think this run aside from Tim's queer relationship, is going to be boring. I think the story is a vessel for Tim and Bernard to be showcased as a cute couple, and that's wonderful, but I hope they at least give Bernard something other than being Tim's boyfriend. I don't want him to just be a damsel. It's 2022 Meghan. Plz...

More notes for me that worry over the quality of writing?

Very big eye roll here. Yes...it's a Tim solo. It's never been done and it's going to be wildly original this time. Look, we're getting meta!

The thing I did love about it? This shit.

Very Tim, I love to see it.

It's great that Tim is getting another solo arc that will end up being a bit bland I think with the exception of cute queer cuddles. Bernard is a chance for a different and exciting love story for Tim, but one that doesn't have to negate his past loves. Everyone is a piece of a greater puzzle and all of those pieces can be equally important in different ways. I know this arc is going to showcase the importance of this new chapter in Tim’s life, and we’ll see where it goes. If it throws his other relationships under the bus, we’ll discuss the issues then. Word choice is iffy imo, but the story will tell more.

But this comic isn't for me. There a people in the demographic who both love and hate it and I'm just meh with a side of mildly frustrated.

#personal #ask tbp

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wickedpact · 3 years

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A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

#tales through time spoilers #obviously #long post #seriously dont open that read more unless youre committed to scrolling past all these Words

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bloomingundertheshadows · 3 years

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I can't get over the fact that schmico have been together longer than Amelink, Magston and Marina on station 19 who just got married in their finale. It just makes it seem grey's doesn't really have an interest in writing for queer men beyond using Jake and schmico for press.

Oh anon, little did you know, you've brought forth another one of my midnight rants. This has been bothering me for so long, and finally I can justify discussing it at length. Other people have spoken about this, but I have no life, so here we are. In short, you are correct. But, there is so much to discuss, so get your drinks and snacks ready:

What bothers me about the fact that Schmico has been together longer than Amelink/Marina/Magston is the complete disparity between how the writers portray the intimacy of these relationships. Don't be bamboozled - I don't mean sex or anything. By intimacy I mean that the writers portray Amelink/Marina/Magston as serious relationships where the characters have an emotional understanding of one another and truly carry that sense of people who know one another as partners. Obviously relationships move at different paces, but if I showed Schmico to someone without forcing them to do the math, I think most people would assume they'd been together a year at most. They fight like they are just getting out of the honeymoon phase and figuring out their boyfriend has real flaws. Quite frankly both of their behaviors (Levi constantly pushing Nico's boundaries, the whole weird ass sex buddies thing, Nico flipping out over drawers, and Levi running away ) are insane for a couple who by the start of season 17, were probably together like 2 years. Maybe I overestimate emotional maturity, but these are grown men, and you cannot convince me that these two would have made it to season 16B if they behaved like this regularly. I hate it. I hate how other couples have been together shorter time periods and get to behave like a valid adult relationship while these two are behaving like teenagers.

I've always felt Schmico existed within a pocket dimension of Grey's Anatomy - completely cut off from the rest of the cast/storyline or overall plot. I literally feel like the show stops whenever they come on screen, and we start watching this mini-show within a show. I don't know if anyone else can describe this feeling, but sometimes Schmico just feels so unnaturally placed that I doubt they are even in Grey's Anatomy.

The best way I can prove this is the fact you could place this season's schmico storyline anywhere in the season, and it wouldn't even matter. They could have had Nico ask Levi to move in with him during 17x05 or 17x06 or 17x07, etc and it would not have mattered - they are so isolated you can literally cut and paste their storyline anywhere in the season without changing anything. (I realize that technically vax guy can only appear in the last episode because of when the actual vaccine was developed, but let's not pretend he couldn't have been replaced with literally any other male character. The vaccine trial was a fun tidbit, but literally meaningless to the progression of the plot). Nothing that happens to them is dependent on anyone or anything else in the show. This wasn’t as true in S15-16A, but it is on full display now. Every once in while they get pulled into a cameo appearance in a bigger plot-line, but this has no real consequences and lasts for 1 minute at most (see Nico’s numb comments). The fundamental cause of this is poor character development and the complete unwillingness of production to make these characters part of Grey’s - but we all know that.

As a result, I truly believe the writers have some sort of temporal disorientation where even they forget how long schmico has been together. Because schmico is so dissociated from the show, it feels like the relationship is on warpspeed. Sure, a few weeks may have passed between Nico asking Levi to move in and him actually responding, but when you never see the characters in the show except for when they’re having relationship issues, it doesn’t actually feel like any time has passed. They have taken away the audience’s ability to place these characters within the show’s timeline (which is already kind of messed up to begin with). I think this contributes to the audience’s dislike of them because while other couples are seen interacting with many doctors across the hospital over multiple episodes, these two will show up for 3 minutes every two episodes and the rest of the show stops while these two get locked in an enclosed space to fight. Literally. The show isolates them to closets or on call rooms or even Nico’s apartment - if I was more meh about these characters, I’d be annoyed too that we stopped all character interactions to watch these two fight in the middle of a deserted parking lot.

This whole pocket dimension schmico is also part of the reason I think the writers struggle to figure out that they shouldn’t be behaving like this. I’m not giving them a free pass because they are part of the problem, but I doubt incorporating this side couple that only gets 1.45 minutes of screen time each week is a fun or easy job. Schmico are not woven into the fabric of the narrative, and I bet even the writers feel confused how best to write them.

I imagine the Grey’s writing room has lots of whiteboards that roughly charts a character’s plot each season. Except, schmico’s plotline is written on sticky note that Krista uses as a coaster. Once they complete the episode, someone notices Jake walking by and suddenly realizes they’d forgotten schmico. Then, there’s a desperate attempt to shove them into the story before filming begins. In the crunch, there’s no time to consider whether this makes any sense.

As for your second point about them only using them for promotion, I 100% agree. The headlines about “Grey’s Anatomy introduces first Asian male surgeon” literally haunts my dreams. I’ve spoken at length about the fact Grey’s is running on a season-by-season format right now, which I think helped contribute to this nonsense. I am hesitant to call out anyone by name because this show is a group effort, but I can’t help but feel like Jake kind of got forked. He (and Alex) put out a lot of press for Greys during Season 15, and he spent a decent amount of time talking about his storyline, and I always felt he was pretty happy with it - and Krista also spent time hyping up this storyline (Your friendly neighborhood reminder that Krista once said schmico was her favorite couple. I can’t prove it’s a lie, but I’m willing to bet my left kidney). However, they totally dropped the ball once the news articles were gone and the internet had moved onto different things. It’s pretty insulting to the actors, and I would feel pretty salty if I came onto a show where I started with a meangingful storyline only to end up here.

I have nothing too much to say in conclusion. Most of this has been said before, so it’s not like I’m adding anything new. Given how everything ended, Season 18 is looking good for both Jake and Alex’s return. While I can’t say for sure they will come back, I think that right now, Grey’s is giving them both a steady paycheck and probably good connections and resume building. Last season I was super hopeful we’d get a better schmico storyline or at least something that didn’t revolve around the same old tired plot. But we all see how that went. At the bare minimum I want to believe that the Nico’s a d*ck plot will kind of be put to rest, but they have made it pretty clear that Nico is literally at fault for everything in this relationship, so I bet Levi will be mad at him next season too.

Good thing the fanfiction is strong in the community. May you all rest well knowing you put more effort into this couple than paid professionals.

#schmico #Levi Schmitt #nico kim #grey's anatomy #asks #this is a long one my friends #I have been stewing for a while #if you are not a passenger on the salty express #you might not enjoy this

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