#i love and support the blogs getting attacked by trolls

[simply-slytherin]

The beater isn't my favorite Quidditch position for no reason. Send any hate trolls my way, I have my favorite bludger to share with them. 😊🖤

#seriously there is 0 reason to send hate to blogs #you dont like their content? dont interact #block and move on #its so immature to send hate #get something better to do #sorry your life is so stagnant that sending hate is the only thing you can do #i love and support the blogs getting attacked by trolls #its infuriating to see kind people br affected by them #hate anon? meet bludger. bludger meet hate anons face

[alexandraisyes]

WHOOO RAFFLE TIME

I had to wait for it to hit midnight so no one would think I’m trolling considering it’s taken me A WEEK to set this up (when I literally just needed to edit the last raffle smh). Something something ADHD something something brain goes brrrr ITS HERE NOW

Pretty simple! Be following this blog and Reblog with the tag #IsYesRaffle150

I decided to do the same prizes as last time (I spent a long time debating) BUT WITH MORE WINNERS because I really liked drawing the sillies last time. Anyways, thank you so much for the support (and the mass amounts of boops).

Whether you’re here for my writing, my art, or a mix of both, or even just because we’re friends on discord, thank you. You guys give me so much happiness every time I open tumblr and get flooded with notes (and a small heart attack) and this is my way of trying to return the feeling. I love art, I love writing, I love forming bonds in this community and interacting with my friends and followers.

I celebrate every small milestone because it means that my ideas, my writing, my thoughts are reaching people. That people want to hear what I have to say and read the stories I work hard on (with Turbo) and see the art I want to show them. And that means a lot to me. Truly. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and I’m excited to continue on this journey with all of you.

#alex talks #IsYesRaffle150 #fnaf #daycare attendant fnaf #dca fandom #daycare attendant #art raffle #150 followers #DCA art #security breach #fnaf security breach #moon fnaf #sun fnaf

[bcbdrums]

Was Kigo always a controversial ship in the fandom? Or is the controversy fairly recent? Is Shego really on her mid twenties?

it has always been controversial. as stated in my previous posts, it's so controversial in fact that depending on who you talk to it can be toxic on both sides. I have friends who have been so attacked, they won't post/reblog certain things for fear of the wrath of the kigo shippers... i have friends who won't reblog this post on the off-chance it could enrage some of them.

kigo shippers control the KP wiki, they edit articles to make it sound like kigo is canon, and they edit articles to hate on Ron and make him seem like the worst possible person to ship with Kim. others who try to edit the wiki to be strictly factual find themselves eventually blocked and their edits removed, and kigo opinions returned.

on the flip side, I've seen kim/ron shippers here on Tumblr viciously attack kigo shippers. and in at least one instance when I tried to help out a kigo person just by saying "ignore the trolls and eventually they'll go away," I got attacked by that person for not outright supporting them and called homophobic because I don't ship it too. apparently my saying they have a right to ship peacefully wasn't enough; they demand you also ship their ship, which is not fair. seen the same toxicity with johnlock... you can't even be neutral. if you're not with them, you're against them and must be destroyed, in their view. at least, that's the reputation certain people have created for that entire side of the fandom (johnlock and kigo... sorry i'm still salty about mid0nz getting bullied offline.)

thus, I have learned my lesson and I try to stay out of any ship war when I see it. I gave up on the wiki years ago and I don't get involved except to say "don't like, don't read" and DNI with trolls and ppl who behave in a toxic way.

however, yes. Shego is CLEARLY an adult. which makes kigo a ship between an adult and a minor, which is not okay. and making Kim "legal" just doesn't work for me, morally. it's kind of sickening to me that people think a birthday going from 17 to 18 suddenly makes something okay. but that's just me.

that's one of the things I LOVE about the live action movie. it clearly showed that Shego is VERY much an adult. and Kim is very much a teenager. my friends and I talk about how the reason we think a lot of people hate on the movie so much is because it destroys kigo by revealing the ship as inappropriate. I don't want to assume a person is pedo, but...if you know Kim is a literal child and you still ship it...there's a serious problem there.

I saw a comment on someone else's blog recently that claimed Shego is "minor-coded" and a friend and I were just...astonished at this claim. she is 100% NOT and it is very much the opposite in fact, and we want that person to bring up their proofs because...no. the show plainly and repeatedly shows Shego as an ADULT. personally I think mid-late twenties based on canon and real-world evidence, and I've made many posts about that but I'll be posting about it again in the near future.

all in all... I still say. "don't like, don't read." if you feel like you need to go on a crusade to destroy another person's ship, leave me out of it. let everyone ship their ships in peace. they're gonna ship it whether anyone likes it or not, so please just let fandom be peaceful.

that's one of the things I love about the drakgo fandom... we all have different opinions about the age gap, about when they get together, about whether they remain evil or turn good... yes there is lots of headcanon crossover but there's also massive headcanon divergence. and yet we all exist peacefully and happily together. and if we don't like, we don't read. plain and simple.

so once again, for the umpteenth time... let people ship their ships in peace. don't get angry if someone else doesn't ship your ship. just ship and let ship and DNI if it bothers you, and don't be a troll.

#queued post #kim possible #shego #ask answer #drakken

[audreyhalessaviour]

I was struggling to sleep so I put on some relaxing music and just as I was dozing off my brain must have connected it to Audrey because I was laying there awake thinking about her. The lyrics "My love is the miles and the waiting The eyes that just stare, and the glance at the clock And the secret that burns, and the pain that won't stop." Perfectly describe my thoughts for her. The song itself speaks more however. The mix of great sadness and relaxing joy is very close to how I feel about her. For the past few hours I have been thinking of Audrey and this very blog. The risks and benefits of it being here. I really want to make friends similar to me, make no mistake I'm not alone in real life, I have friends but I know damn well that if I told ANYONE about these feelings I would be treated as crazy, that is true about people who read my blog as well but I of course could delete it unless the FBI gets involved or something. I constantly fear being seen as a fanboy and not someone who has confused complex emotions. I'm currently so emotional and confused that I struggled to make a midnight snack to help me sleep. Honestly out of anything this blog can give me what I want most is two internet friends who are in the same situation. Every time I check Tumblr I pray that I have a DM from someone who wants to talk because they are going through the same thing or they are messaging to support me. Perhaps they are not just about Audrey but another killer or evildoer. Maybe someday I could guide others through times like these but for now I must find my own way. I honestly would like to talk to a psychologist as well but mental health being taboo and anything that might kind of be a sign someone is going to go mad and end people is locked away. Ironically it's one reason Audrey faced problems in her life that lead up to her end. This all being said this blog has helped me greatly and I feel like I would be more of a wreck tonight than I would be without it. I actually had a mini heart attack because I was logged out on my phone the other day and I was worried that I was banned. Finding a footing and small community has meant a million to me and for me to lose it would really hurt, whether I am banned ostracized for some reason like trolls. Perhaps it's just social anxiety but I do feel as if there is risk here. Not like I am going to off myself if I find my blog is gone but with how confused and upset I have been since reading about Hale and the shooting a few months ago finding a little bit of footing has gone a long way. Even in rough times like this. I guess it really goes to show how long and far the consequences of mass shootings can reach.

#audrey hale #grief #mental health #Youtube

[wahlpaper]

Meet Cute Diary Review

Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

CW: Transphobia, Manipulation, Money Problems, Moving Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Cyberbullying, Social Media Anxiety, Toxic Relationship, Past Suicide Attempt, Past Bullying, Microaggressions, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Vomit, Described Gender Dysphoria

4.5/5

I am not one for the Meet Cute trope because they aren't realistic and don't feel like the safest way to meet someone. I want to know someone before I fall for them. For this reason, I had been avoiding Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee although it has been on my TBR list for a while. Finally, I took another look at the description and realized that Meet Cutes not being realistic is exactly what the book was about. I downloaded it to my phone immediately and fell in love with it.

Noah, a Tumblr(!) blogger and trans teenager, is in Colorado for the summer while his parents work on setting up a new home in California. Leaving his best friend behind at the time his blog receives a determined troll, he needs help to keep his blog going. This blog, "The Meet Cute Diary" anonymously posts fake Meet Cutes featuring trans folks stumbling upon love. While the fans are misled to believe the blog posts are true stories, the blog is meant to inspire hope. Noah soon gets a Meet Cute of his own with a blog fan and starts to fake date him in an effort to squash the troll. Along the way Noah learns more about what he truly wants in a relationship, his future, and for the blog.

I was not immediately hooked because I didn't like Noah all that much. He is careless with his parents' money, a problem which is only barely solved. Thankfully his other flaws gave him a place to grow from. As Noah started to face consequences and learn from them, I got hooked on Meet Cute Diary. He has a problem with boundaries, rash decisions, and living in the real world. All realistic for a teen and all of these helped to build the story. Noah is lucky to have a good support system and learns not to take it for granted.

For every queer Tumblr kid, Meet Cute Diary is going to feel like a familiar setting. The site functions are described well, the users are painfully real, and Noah's stress over follower numbers really took me back to high school. Lee handles world building in a way that connects for both those in-the-know and those that aren't. E seems to be very good at world building in general. I have never been to Colorado, but I could understand what the summer camp, mountain, bookstore, and more were like. I could step into Noah's summer and didn't want to leave any more than he did.

I know there are others out there, but this is the first contemporary YA romcom (my favorite genre) that I've read with a trans main character. I've read some in the genre by trans authors, but it makes me happy to read about a trans teen finding love, especially with a genderqueer love interest. By halfway through the book, Noah finds himself in a love triangle. Drew, the fan, and Devon, his summer camp co-worker. Devon uses the same pronouns as Lee, E/Em/Eir/Eirs. Throughout the book, Noah and Devon inspire each other to be their more authentic selves. For Devon, this includes experimenting with pronouns. Noah never bats an eye. I am a cis person, so it is not my place to rank how well the trans experience was incorporated into the book, but I will say that it made me feel happy and as though everything flowed well.

Remember if you choose to read Meet Cute Diary that messy characters do not equal a messy book. Characters make mistakes which makes them that much more real. For those that want to see more trans love stories, check Lee's book out! I could really use some folks to gush about this one with!

#meet cute diary #meet cute #tumblr 4th wall #emery lee #trans mc #trans love story #trans love #genderqueer #trans man #trans teen #romcom #romcom book #bookblogger #book blog #queer books #queer characters #ace representation #love triangle #summer book

[dreamersparacosm]

I hate that you’re getting attacked over your own opinions and choices of who you support and who you don’t support and it’s kind of clear to me that whoever is behind that anon is a troll and probably aren’t even an actual fan of Elvis lol i don’t care though i still love you & your blog! 💌

thank you so much bestie 🥹 ily!!!

#my heart #answered #presleyonfilm

[cosmicanger]

precious-silly-thing dont even reblog me like that and didnt even start following me til recently and they getting anonymous messages about me just cause they said they like my blog once? ppl on here are dangerous. digitally lynching me for years for saying what most only keep in group chats or in private and for calling out antiBlackness for years before it was socially profitable. and they continue to target & do abuse by proxy on anyone who shows any fraction of support? I might have to not reblog from anyone soon (when i dont want to do that all) just so anti-Black trolls like highkeyvibe dont attack anyone else Black for being even vaguely associated with me for, *checks notes*, telling people on here that 9 out of 10 Tumblr users center antiBlack culture vultures too much while all nonblack people do little to nothing to support Black people they cannot use in some way. stay safe to the many Black people who still support. and again to all of my haters: my personal work will always be better than yours and we both know it and y’all love one really violent white person way too much so im <<good>> even if y’all keep coming for me out of ignorance and insecurities.

[p-redux]

You may know this already, but evidence suggests that the ridiculous troll outlanderbanter on Twitter is auburncurlslass here on tumblr

Hi, Anon, yes, I was already told that. She's also on Instagram using the same name--OutlanderBanter. And I was also told WHICH Extreme Shipper she is, as in I know her FULL NAME, etc.

She's one of the original ES from way back and has attended Outlander related events for years. In an interesting karmic twist, she's friends with the Extreme Shipper, who back in the day, tried to dox me. And who actually DID dox one of the people they thought was me. OutlanderBanter's friend went as far as posting this other woman's real name, what city she lived in, etc publicly on Twitter. So much for the love, light, and positivity brigade. The cognitive dissonance that occurs in that group, with what they portray to the fandom, and how they ACTUALLY behave, is mind blowing.

OutlanderBanter/Auburncurlslass follows the same pattern of SO many Exteme Shippers. They have 3 personas.

Persona 1: NORMAL SUPERFAN. They use their real name with real picture on their social media accounts and "act" like normal, supportive fans. They attend Outlander meet and greets, conventions, premieres, take pics with Sam and Cait, and the rest of the cast, join MPC, other Outlander related fan groups, Outlander Facebook groups, and praise Sam and Cait publicly on their accounts.

Persona 2: TUMBLR FAN BLOG. They create Tumblr accounts with a Pseudonym, where they spread conspiracy theories, keep their identities mostly hidden, given a toss away mention of where they live, where they've traveled, or what they do for a living. These blogs are a combination of Outlander videos, memes, gifs, updates, fanfiction recommendations, Anon Asks where they propagate their SamCait LIES to the few remaining shippers desperate to keep their fantasy alive.

Persona 3: INSTAGRAM TROLL. It is on Instagram (and sometimes Twitter), where these otherwise seemingly normal wives, mothers, grandmothers, professionals, UNLEASH their inner hater, bullying, harassing, and terrorizing Sam and Cait--the very people they claim to idolize. And of course, everyone in any way associated with Sam and Cait, as well as other fans.

It still BOGGLES MY MIND how they can literally be on their Persona 1 accounts sending "I love you Cait, you're a queen, can't wait to see you at the next Outlander event, I made a quilt for youuuuuu!" And in the same breath, go on their Persona 3 accounts and leave comments on Cait's Instagram like "Glad we haven't seen your gay purse holder assistant Tony around lately."

And Sam, of course, receives similar treatment and worse, because he's dated more than one woman since he started on Outlander. The SAME "fans" who pay big money to go to meet and greets with Sam, hug him tightly, look at him adoringly, gushing "Sam we support you no matter what! Sign my Sam pillow pleeeeease! These are the same women, who then go on their sock accounts, and mercilessly attack ANY woman in Sam's life, including contacting the woman's family, employer, friends, ex-boyfriends, etc.

It is FRENZIED, MENTALLY UNSTABLE behavior, the likes of which I've never witnessed. And I wouldn't believe it, if I hadn't seen it happen over and over for the last 7 years.

Phew, I'm worn out writing that. So, YES, Anon, I've been tipped off as to WHO troll extraordinaire Outlander Banter is. And surprisingly, it was by someone in her circle. Guess she must have burned some bridges. So, if she keeps crossing the line and keeps cyber harassing, which is a CRIME, Sam will get her name etc, and he can add it to the LONG list of Extreme Shippers his legal team is keeping track of.

#samheughan #caitrionabalfe #extremeshippers #trolls #haters #tonymcgill #outlanderbanter #auburncurlslass #everythingisbiggerin...

[thetaoofbetty]

Hello love! 

And you’re right, the hate has ramped up and anyone who says they love bughead but don’t like Betty doesn’t actually like bughead, let’s start with that. They love Jughead and self-insert as Betty and are upset she, uh, was written badly by mediocre men for a plot device. Trust me, Betty fans have been through this for years. There is nothing that Jughead can do that some people won’t defend. 

(goes for the actor who plays him as well) 

(i’m not shitting on any actor, i’m making a point about sexism and the prevalence of it in media and fandom) 

(also not shitting on self-inserting, i just think people should be honest with themselves about it)

If the shoe had been on the other foot? I think we all know these same people would making posts like, “jughead did nothing wrong, betty should have been supportive of him and he wouldn’t have had to do it 😌” or “are you saying mistakes can’t be forgiven??? wow, what about the stuff betty’s done???” 

(especially when you consider how many betty fans feel like they can’t defend her or be attacked. which, y i k e s when you consider that fandom, in general, is made up of women who would be intimately aware of what it’s like to feel like you can’t speak up for fear of retaliation) 

So, I don’t listen to that noise to be honest because here’s the thing: Betty has been getting shit since the start. I lurked for a long time before I wrote fic, btw, so I’ve seen a lot. 

Let’s walk it out: Betty stands in the way of what? Multiple ships while having the audacity to be a woman. 

She’s the wall, in people’s minds, between b/archie because they decided that Archie is in love with her and always has been and that she keeps choosing Jughead is indicative of...something, I don’t know, I don’t go near their theories tbh. She’s also the problem standing in the way of j/eronica. Jughead, according to the last time I got a troll (which was about mid s3 after they were convinced jug was going to kiss veronica and declare himself in the noir episode—that self own was delightful, thank you past troll for that one), was pining for Veronica and clearly in love with her but damned that Betty Cooper! Making him feel guilty for something? I don’t know, I also stay in my own lane and don’t go near their blogs either because I’m not an asshole who harasses people.

I do know enough to know that it’s never really about the fact that Jughead isn’t in love with Veronica, it’s Betty keeping him from being happy with her audacity to exist. Or it’s Betty keeping Archie from being happy. Or, in the case of j/archie, I think she might just be in the way with that wayward vagina of hers, causing chaos between true love of that crack ship (ship and let ship i say, sail your j/archie ships, y’all). 

She’s also currently in the way for some people with Veronica and Archie (tho i think we can all agree, it’s just going to a be a cringeworthy plot device for when jughead and veronica stroll back into town) 

Betty has the apparent bad taste to do two things: have the love of a male fave and be a main character herself. 

Which, in essence, isn’t about Betty. It’s about the perception of how a female needs to act in the minds of people who were always going to hold her to standards she was never going to be able to meet. Jughead, from the word go, has been a fave. The fave, prob. I’ve seen Betty get hate for throwing him a birthday party, where her biggest crime was trying to do something nice (i’m sorry but misguided mistakes made in good faith aren’t an attack on your fave male, betty haters) and other people turning it into chaos. She’s been called a cheater for kissing Archie while single in s2. 

Funny. I don’t recall anyone saying that after Jughead did the same thing. With a much shorter timespan between break up and kissing, do you? Or Archie, for that matter, with Farm Girl. Huh. I wonder what the difference is? 

(and yes, i’m aware they’ll flip it to she didn’t tell him right away which is still just a plot device. literally, the whole thing existed to make 2x14 happen)

Anyway. 

Years ago, reading s1 fic, I noticed a theme in a good amount of stories. Betty messed up. Constantly. It was almost always her fault and Jughead was magnanimous enough to overlook her multitude of flaws and wasn’t she lucky for it? That changed with s2 and I think a lot of us know why. Even now, when I write fics, if Jughead does something stupid, I can get comments about how Jughead had good intentions and Betty should forgive him. 

I mean, I know she will. I’m writing it, ha. But that’s not the point. The point is that they’re both capable of messing up and forgiving each other. The difference is that only one of them has a large support of unconditional loyalty while the other has loyalty that hinges on a checklist of appropriate behavior. 

Look, I’m not here to tell anyone how to love a character. If people wanna stan, go ahead. I don’t care. I think some self-awareness of bias is always a good thing. I can always tell which character I’m biased towards and I’m okay with it. I own it. I love bughead, I love both characters but if you don’t think that being harassed and targeted and having people I respected in this fandom come out and say some incredibly hurtful things hasn’t affected it, well. Sigh. 

And this is before we even get into the fact that b/archies are obsessed with forgetting about Veronica’s existence. Which drives me nuts. 

In the end it’s really about one common issue: Betty Cooper dared to be human. And as a woman on top of that, she must be punished for it. 

So, take care of yourself, curate your online experience, make edits (and link me pls!), and remember: the b/archies are most likely big, big mad that they were duped. Again. And that always makes them really loud for awhile. 

Thank you for the kind words and the ask, lovely!💜

#besos! #rd negativity #fandom negativity #anti-barchie #anti other ships? #not really #i really am a ship and let ship person #i don't care what you do #sexism #misogyny #betty cooper fanclub #ha #gonna be my band name #long post #pls enjoy my essay #or don't #i don't control you #you do you boo boo #i like how i edited it too late #may the typos live in infamy

[melhekhelmurkun]

Long post ahead, babes, I’m sorry ab that! And a quick reminder beforehand: this blog is anti-Denethor. I do not like him. I think he was an abusive father and a very cold man. I would have put this under an anti-Denethor tag, but there isn’t one as far as I can tell. If you are a Denethor stan, I do not mind if you reblog and add your two cents to this, just please be respectful! While I love a good debate and I like to see the other side of people’s views, I am not going to be flat-out arguing with anyone about my opinion on this character, especially not trolls who attempt to bait me into anger. This post itself is not a bait at Denethor stans. I am, again, not trying to start a fight. This is just my opinion on him, and I am sort of playing devil’s advocate against myself anyways.

You know what? I will admit that Denethor was a brilliant Steward for most of the duration of the War of the Ring. I will admit that. Before he went psycho nuts and tried to burn himself and Faramir alive, I will admit that he was a pretty great leader. Dude was a fucking abysmal dad but he was a good Steward who led Gondor through a war - a war in which Gondor was fighting MORDOR! Mordor and Sauron! Nazgul probably featured in most battles in the late end of the War, when they weren’t ring-hunting. Hundreds of thousands of orcs, all on Gondor’s doorstep.

Minas Tirith was right there! It wasn’t further back in the White Mountains, it wasn’t closer to Dol Amroth, it was right fucking there facing Mordor and Minas Morgul directly. Everyday the people who lived there had to wake up and see their doom on the horizon. They had to see black mountains and unnatural storm clouds and flames in the sky. Everyday. But they didn’t panic (much) and they didn’t flee - some did, of course, but there were a lot of citizens still in Minas Tirith! They were all there because they believed their armies would protect them. They believed the walls of the fortress would protect them. They believed their Steward would protect them, that Denethor would protect them and lead them to victory and peace!

Boromir talked about his father’s rule failing, in Lothlorien. He talked about how Gondor was losing hope, losing faith, but this is well into the war at this point. Denethor became Steward in 2984, a year after Faramir was born and the same year of Ecthelion’s death. Then, in 3001, Bilbo leaves and gives the Ring to Frodo, who Gandalf tells to keep it safe while he tries to figure out what exactly it is. That’s 17 years as Steward, Sauron will soon have enough power to start seeking the Ring in earnest - but first he must go through Gondor.

Aragorn and Gandalf capture Gollum in 3009 and take him to Greenwood the Great (aka Mirkwood) so King Thranduil can have him imprisoned. This is more or less where the War begins, I assume. Saruman starts to weaken and ensnare Theoden in 3014, 5 years after the War started. That’s 5 years that Denethor has been leading Gondor against Mordor. Then 4 years later, the Nazgul are released to find the Ring + attack Osgiliath, which is a very important control point in this War.

As everyone should well remember, it was only after Osgiliath was fully lost to the orcs that the tide of the War turned entirely in Sauron’s favor, and it was only with Aragorn’s intervention with the Men of Dunharrow and the Rohirrim that Gondor survived. This means that for about 9 years, Denethor has been supporting and leading Gondor, making sure the spirits of the kingdom do not fall as the kingdom itself surely would if the people lost hope. Boromir has of course been doing most of the fighting as Captain-General, and Faramir has been doing a good bit of it as well as Captain of the Rangers, but the Steward is just as important as either of them in making sure that Gondor gets through this War.

The Council of Elrond is also in that same year the Nazgul are released (obviously) and that takes place in October. The Fellowship leave in December, making it to Moria and Gandalf’s death in 3019. That’s another year to add to Denethor’s rule during the War of the Ring. 10 years total fighting directly against Mordor, and it is only during the last year and a half of that fight that Denethor’s rule and sanity began to decline (I assume). However much I hate to say it, he’s very strong. You have to be of strong will and strong mind to go up against such a terrifying foe, and even stronger to battle him in the sense of the mind - which he did, with the Palantir.

Denethor regularly used the Palantir to get an edge over Mordor, and though Sauron likely manipulated what he was seeing and even directly spoke to him through the seeing stones, the Steward did not give in to him. He is an incredibly strong individual. Jealous and cold, stubborn to the point of malevolence at times, abusive and downright cruel when it comes to Faramir, but strong. I can respect his ability to lead, even if I fucking hate him with all of my being. I know I definitely would not have been able to lead a kingdom like that for two weeks let alone 10 years.

Anyways, just my thoughts on this. Sorry for the long post, doubly sorry if I got some of the timeline wrong (my favorite timeline website for tolkien was taken down, so I had to rely on the fandom wiki instead, meaning I got none of the explanations and half of the important dates)

#lotr #tolkien #denethor #I fucking hate him so much I swear #but I can respect the Steward #not Denethor but the Steward #I like to separate them #long post #longer than I usually write #longer than intended #but necessary I think #faramir #boromir #is there an anti Denethor tag because I can’t find one

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

You know, the world isn't divided into Trump supporters and Biden supporters. It's like saying there are only 2 genders and everyone else doesn't exist and isn't valid. There are those of us who think BOTH Trump AND Biden suck! You're a bigot, and your post is of discriminating nature. I expect better from a Star Trek blog. You're a disgrace to ST community. Shame on you. I came for ST, but leaving because of politics. And you should, in fact, get fucked.

Hi, quick question, what the fuck?  I wasn’t even going to respond to this, but I’m laughing so hard I have to. Is this supposed to hurt my feelings? 

Am I supposed to feel bad that the big scary internet user (who is too much of a coward to even confront me directly, and hides behind anon status) is mad at me for being anti-Trump, while they proclaim proudly that they are also anti-Trump? 

Oh no, how will I ever recover. 

Here’s the thing (or several things, rather): I don’t even know which post you’re talking about. I post a lot. You saw (what I can only assume was) a post saying Trump supporters are not welcome here, and you got all offended that I’m attacking you in some way, then immediately turn around and say that you are also anti-Trump, but since I said it publicly I’m apparently evil now?

Does that make sense to you in some way, because if so please explain it to me. I’m very confused. 

So let’s clarify what happened yesterday, because apparently you missed something. Trump and his cronies incited insurrection and an active siege on the capitol because of their continued lies that he won the election. Trump told his idiot followers to march on the capitol and fight. Rudy Giuliani called for “trial by comat.” Trump Jr. said, “These people had better fight for Donald Trump” and “we a coming for you.”  And anyone with a single sane and rational thought in their head saw it coming a mile away. We’ve been predicting this for years. 

So sedition and attempted coup aside, let me break it down for you why Trump supporters are not welcome on my Star Trek blog. 

Trump supporters may not all be outright racist or sexist or xenophobic or capitalist or the like themselves, but they decided none of it was a deal breaker! They all said, “Yeah, that’s fine by me” and gave him power under the assumption that they’d be fine, and who gives a damn about anyone else. 

And I don’t want those people around me, because they don’t give a damn about me or the people I love or the future I’m hoping for or the future Star Trek is about. 

Have you ever seen Star Trek? Do you know what it’s about? Equality, and a better future! Jim Kirk advocated for pro-choice, racial equality, women’s rights, and was anti-xenophobic way back in the ‘60s, pal. The show was revolutionary for showing the first interracial televised kiss, having women in positions of power, advocating for birth control and a woman’s right to choose (”The Mark of Gideon”, anyone?) and for telling xenophobic officers that their bigotry had no place on the bridge. 

And you want to try to tell me that I’m a bigot, and I’m a disgrace to the ST community... because I don’t support Donald Trump and his cronies’ disgusting behavior or attempted coup of our government? 

Good one. I’ll let you know when I stop laughing. 

You’re just a MAGA troll with an orange ass to kiss. You know how I know? You thought you were making a coherent argument by saying, “How dare you say that you don’t like Trump!!11! I also do not like him but I H8 you for saying it!! You monster who does not like Trump (which I also do not)--- I am very anti the Trump man and also the Biden and thus you have reduced my entire identity (which I do not have, because I also hate him) to this singular concept and I am angry-- which I should not be because I do not like him also.”  You agreed with me and still thought you were convincing. So glad we agree; Trump sucks and he can get fucked.

In the meantime, nice try. I haven’t lost any followers in the last week or so; you were never following me. Sure have gained some though! But again, good coherent argument: “They want Trump supporters to leave their blog!?? WELL, I’m LEAVING (even though I was never here)... take THAT!” 

Thanks for listening, I guess? And for the laugh. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. 

#trump #politics #anon #honestly I find this so funny #the mental gymnastics must make their heads hurt

[funkymbtifiction]

So, I am an ENFP [redacted] and I am very enthusiastic about typology (it’s one of the few interests that have stuck with me for more than a few months). Your blog is almost my only source of knowledge, which means, of course, everything I know, I know because of you. […] Has anything similar ever happened to you online or even here, on Tumblr? Has anybody ever discredited your knowledge without providing actual arguments? Or has anybody ever questioned your type because you don’t give them “ENFP vibes”?

Okay, for the other people reading this, in a nutshell the OP tried to have intelligent discussions about character typing online, but then got flooded with shit-posts, which turned into a bombardment of troll abuse attacking her on a personal level and insisting she must not be her own type because of her debating style. :P

I’m sorry you went through all of that, and got bullied off the platform. I’m afraid that’s why a lot of forums and public discussion places (including IMDb’s discussion boards, which I loved) have had to shut down – because bored TP trolls take over the discussion and insult people and/or flood it with spam. As for not taking a public place of discussion seriously – that tells you their mindset. This is a place to troll when I’m bored, and any serious, intelligent discussion of the topic at hand intimidates me because I know nothing. So take some satisfaction in that your arguments were so good, the only tactic any of them had was to attack you personally – the classic misdirection of a beaten opponent.

I’ve been called an ESTJ many times online because I don’t fit into people’s presumed stereotypes about ENFPs being emotional airheads. One of my first discussions with an “INTJ” (debatable now) on a forum resulted in them telling me that I reminded them of their ESTJ sister and was probably an ESTJ instead of an ENFP because when they asked me to describe my thought process, instead of using a metaphor to describe it, I answered them plainly and said what my mind does. It’s funny in hindsight that they assumed an ENFP would always be living in some metaphorical place where there’s no straight answers to questions, but at the time it was very confusing and a little insulting as a newbie to the system to be told I had to be a high thinking-sensing type.

There are also still people who assume SFJ was right about me, even though I think I’ve given enough proof of always-rethinking to leave a trail of Ne-dom evidence everywhere on the internet by now. It used to bother me, but I does less these days since I know myself better than a stranger knows me.

As for discrediting or ignoring my knowledge without providing actual arguments, yes, all the time… the key tactic of someone who doesn’t know anything and cannot offer a decent argument is to make an argument personal. Once the focus shifts off the topic onto you, you know they are done / beaten, but they are hoping to use the personal insults as a distraction. In short: they got nothing. I face this all the time when I type a popular character against the popular typing for them, which is based on nothing but air. Elsa is not an INFJ, Tony Stark is not an ENTP, and way more of their favorite character are sensors than intuitives. If there’s no direct evidence, you don’t follow a generalization or a stereotype.

For what it’s worth, characters are only as good as their characterization. Some characters can be so poorly written that after 8 hours, you still don’t have a clue – and since I’m a perfectionist who tries to get things ‘right’ that can be greatly frustrating. I’m slowly learning in those cases to just make an educated guess, offer what evidence I can to support it, and if it’s wrong, it’s wrong. It’s not the end of the world.

The thing is, people like you and me take typology seriously. We want to get it right and have intelligent conversations about it and treat it in a serious and intellectual manner. But the vast majority of people don’t care that much, so to them, it doesn’t bother them nearly as much to see an ESTJ 1w2 character mistyped ENFX on a public form. An ENFP who is taking something seriously and providing evidence for it can indeed come across as strongly Te, by the force of their arguments since it’s one of their passions. It doesn’t invalidate you as being a Ne-dom, but what people are seeing in that moment is fierce Te. “Where the hell is your evidence, you are talking crap!?” isn’t what they expect from a “sparkly manic pixie dream girl” but often what they will get.

ETA: In a public space, you are also running into anti-feeler bias among uneducated thinking types who assume F in your letter combination means you are “emotional” rather than someone who makes ethical judgments. It’s sad, but another facet of bigotry within the casual MBTI community (which also devalues sensing types in favor of intuitive types). The irony is that a great many internet thinkers are not the type they assume themselves to be (aka, not INTJs) and a fair number of them aren’t intuitives, either.

#question #mbti #enfp #submission

[pudgecuddles]

My Content & Boundaries

[No need to be alarmed! Nothing has happened to prompt this, I just figured it was about time that I pin a post like this.]

Welcome to my kink blog! This post is here to introduce myself, disclose what type of content that I may reblog or post here (including trigger warnings) and state my boundaries concerning who I want and don’t want interacting with me or my blog.

Intro:

Hi! I’m pudgecuddles! I’ve been here in the community as a lurker since 2018, and finally got around to making this sideblog about 2 years ago under the handle “prettypudgy”. I changed my username slightly after some twitter douchecanoes took screenshots of my content and made threads mocking it.

I am 24 years old and identify as female. Please use she/her pronouns when referring to me. I won’t be mad at all though if you use they/them or he/him, but I’ll probably just gently let you know what I prefer  :)

I am aromantic/asexual, meaning that I do not experience romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender identity or expression. I still experience aesthetic attraction, and of course enjoy the concept of weight gain as a kink.

Although I am participating in them, I am not looking for RP partners at the moment!

My Content and the Content I Reblog:

Although I do like fluffy and mild WG content (ya’ll who make that type of content are amazing and beautiful and deserve all the love and reblogs in the world), I do enjoy darker and less popular tropes/kinks as well. Up until recently the majority of the stuff I’ve reblogged has been cute and moderate, but I have been working on my own stories and RPs which happen to be on the more intense/darker side.

My content going forward may include topics such as:

Extreme Weight Gain Immobility Mind Break Pet/Pig Play BDSM Humiliation Manipulation Feminization Dub-Con Watersports Eproctophilia Slob Abusive Relationships (it’s not something I enjoy writing, but I may reblog it)

I will always tag specific topics and tropes that may not be for everyone such as immobility or fart kink stuff. And definitely triggering content such as dub-con or degradation. For example, I will tag it as “Immobility”, “cw Immobility” and “tw Immobility”, in case someone has only one tag blacklisted.

Please keep yourself safe! This community is supposed to be a comfortable, creative area where users can curate a homepage of content that matches thier tastes and respects their boundaries. I will not be offended at all if you decide to block me or my written/rendered content. All I ask is if you’re already an acquaintance or mutual of mine that you let me know before you do  :)  You don’t even need to tell me why, I just don’t want to wonder if I made you mad or were ignoring me on purpose.

Zero hard feelings, seriously! The block button is there to protect you!

Boundaries:

Please do not hit on me, or unexpectedly discus sexual topics without me knowing your age and instigating it. It is different if I already know you and am comfortable speaking with you like that.

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow that drawing is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Thank you so much! ^_^  What do you think about the shape of his hands?

Minors: If you do not have your age, (or at least an 18+ only, or “I am an adult!”) in your bio, I will either ask you for your age or choose not to interact directly with you. This is not a punishment or a personal vendetta. I just do not feel comfortable interacting directly with minors when it comes to NSFW kink content. I am okay with reblogging your content, as supporting those in the community that are still young and exploring their identities in a safe and distant way is very important to me. I am so happy for you that you have found a welcoming and protective space to safely explore your sexuality and discuss your favorite groups. It’s what I wish I had when I was younger.

But I ask that you don’t attempt to private message me or participate in conversations that are sexual in nature.

Bigotry: Do not interact with me, my blog or my content if you do not support all LGBTQ+ identities. This includes but is not limited to: Transgender folk, Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Polysexuals, Omnisexuals, Asexuals, Aromantics and Non-Binary/Agender peeps. TERFs, exclusionists and Battleaxe Bisexuals are not welcome and will be insta-blocked. Same with those that participate in “discourse” on these topics.

If you do not believe that Black Lives Matter or support Donald Trump or any conservative party, politician or policy, please unfollow and block me. They have killed thousands of people and actively lobby against minorities.

This is the only time that I will be political on this blog. I am infinitely more outspoken/advocating on my main, but this sideblog is supposed to be a stress-free, kinky escape from the horrors of reality. I go on my main to reblog petitions, I go on here to reblog erotica.

This does not mean that I do not care, or that I am not an ally or that I enable racists or transphobes. It just means that I recognize that sometimes people get burnt out from constantly being reminded of the policies that harm them, or acts of violence against their race. I want this blog to be an escape, for both myself and my followers.

Hate/Trolling: Hateful or negative comments on me or my friend’s content will get your account blocked. This ranges from “ew” to telling them to kill themselves. This behavior is not tolerable anywhere, and the more extreme comments will be reported to Tumblr staff. Comments saying our content is disgusting will automatically tell me you think it’s hot and are in denial. How very sad. I will dedicate my grossest story to you specifically.

Inter-Community Drama: Mob behavior, brigading, witch hunting, call out posts (vague or by name), vitriolic hate and bullying of any type is something that makes me extremely uncomfortable due to having experienced cyberbullying in the past. Making people deactivate, continuing to attack them after apologies and other related behavior will get you blocked no matter the quality of your content, your standing in the community or our relationship history.

I cannot deal with seeing that behavior and it scares me continuing to interact with those that I learn can so easily turn on their friends like that.

That’s All Folks!

#tw mention of abuse #tw mention of self-harm #tw drama #tw politics

[greymattermaelstrom]

What she said

This has been a difficult post to prepare. After much thought, I wish to share some very interesting information. Some know from my recent post, I went to Ozlander in Melbourne, Australia on March 14 & 15, 2020, and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Richard and Sophie. As a premium ticket holder, I enjoyed lunch with them on both days. They would individually spend 5 minutes or so at each table and rotate through the tables to meet the fans. At the event introduction on Day One, we were asked to respect Richard and Sophie by not asking questions of a personal nature, which naturally, everyone understood. Therefore, I wasn’t going to ask anything about Sam, Cait, or even Tony. So, I was more than surprised when Sophie briefly mentioned Cait’s wedding!

  Sophie visited our table and we talked about a number of things. It was Sophie’s first trip to Australia; Caitriona had been here and had told Sophie how nice it was. Someone asked Sophie, 'You went to Caitriona’s wedding, didn’t you?'

  'Yeah, Caitriona’s husband is a lovely guy.' (Did she just say that, I thought?)

  I asked Sophie, 'You and Sam were the only cast members that went?'

  And she replied, 'No, Tobias was there as well.' Interesting.

  Sophie then added she took the photo of Sam in the Dunhill suit (remarkable weekend).

  'The background had to be photoshopped as we couldn’t give away the location. It got onto social media and Caitriona wasn’t that pleased about it,' Sophie said a little ruefully. (Sam had posted the photo on IG. The right-side background looks very photoshopped.)

  During a photo session on Day Two, I asked Sophie, 'Did Caitriona marry Tony?' with the emphasis on the word Tony.

 'Yeah,' she said with a smile.

 'Really?' I asked.

 'Yes. Really,' Sophie said.

 Then I said, 'Well she doesn’t say his name and hasn’t released any photos so...'

 'I don’t know...,' Sophie said pleasantly enough. Wow!! Being so busy and so involved with OL for so long, I don’t think she fully appreciated how all the Tait secrecy is being perceived in the fandom.

Okay, a photo or some sort of evidence or it didn't happen. This info from Sophie was really unexpected. What sort of proof would be acceptable and not immediately suspected anyway? Nevertheless, I believe I have the evidence I need to satisfy myself. Someone else who was at the same Day One table, has confirmed to me in writing (I contacted her a week or so after the event) she heard Sophie say all this as well. I don’t think my acquaintance follows the ins and outs of the SC/Tait drama. I don’t think most of the people at Ozlander did from conversations I had and the general talk I heard. So, my witness doesn’t have a vested interest in The Narrative and, I believe, just gave a purely objective confirmation.

If I had heard Sophie say Cait married Sam, you would probably believe it, put this info in the receipt warehouse, and any evidence would be a bonus. I have been wanting truth no matter what it is. I’ll just deal with it. While it’s greatly disappointing, I do wish Cait and Sam happiness in life whomever they find it with.

I discovered OL 18 months ago and have only been active on Tumblr for 8 months. So, I am still a newb of sorts. Some might say a naïve babe in the woods with not much to lose. However, I’ve met some wonderful people on this side of the fence and I will probably lose friendships and reputation, be unfollowed and blocked, receive a lot of vitriol, be called a troll working for (fill in the blank), etc., due to this heresy. So, my info does come at a price for me. I understand I have not experienced years of surviving on this side of the fence, enduring the delusional tag and the attacks and insults from antis, NST, TPTB, Shamuso, and even some from Sam and Cait, and being thrown under the bus when convenient. I get, in principle, some shippers will close ranks and support any higher-profile shippers who don’t believe me. I anticipate this will be the response. One way to discredit information is to discredit the person presenting it, and I assume this tactic will be employed as well.

So why am I putting my head on the chopping block? Notoriety? Hardly. Well, as I said, I want intel even if it conflicts with what I hope for. I believe people can ship the way they want (within reason) and as KDS infamously said, believe what you want. I don’t wish to convince anybody, nor get into a slanging match with anyone. It would be pointless really. I feel obligated out of principle to reveal the info and not hide it no matter how controversial and inconvenient that might be. I understand some may not think it a good time in the fandom right now to deal with this but I didn’t want the info dating too much before putting it on the table. I understand and I am sorry. But is there an optimal time to hear this?

People like I, who want to know what is going on or had suspicions, and are prepared to accept this information, will welcome it. They have had enough of the mess that is happening right now in The Narrative as well. Also, I don't wish to be intimidated into keeping contrary evidence hidden just because it doesn’t suit the manifesto. And I apologise in advance to high-profile shippers who will probably be inundated with comments and asks. I accept there will be jealousy involved. Why did a newb get this intel? Believe me, I wish it didn’t happen to me; I really wish it was someone else. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

For the record, yes, I’m Australian living in Australia. I understand some people’s problem with that. Why does so much narrative controversy emanate from this place? I don’t know. I wish I knew. We often call it the lucky country (for various reasons). Do we appear have more luck than the Irish?!

However, and unfortunately, this does not provide closure for me. I accept the Tait wedding. I do have problems with the Tait marriage, sorry to say. I don’t know why games are being played. Cait still doesn’t call her husband Tony, there were no wedding or engagement photos made public, and no confirmation from her PR team when wedding articles hit the magazines. It seems like secrecy, not privacy. Why so secret? We continue to see gaslighting, innuendo, and an intentional vagueness, to keep us all engaged it seems?! And Hawaiigate is certainly a head scratcher at best.

So, in summing up, the four things I learnt about the wedding are:

1. The wedding happened.

2. Cait married Tony.

3. Tobias was there.

4. Sam posted Sophie’s remarkable Dunhill manipulated photo on IG and Cait wasn’t too happy about it.

Most shippers won’t like my saying Tait is real and most antis won’t like my saying Sam and Cait continue to play games. But that’s ok. I knew this going in. I just think it is important for the info to be put out there. I don’t wish to appear foolish, talking about a fake wedding, now that I know Cait married Tony. I think there must be other intel such as this out there. Perhaps the time is right for others to make their intel known.

I believe the four things Sophie said about the wedding. I do not have any further intel to share, nor do I have any further theories on what is happening with Sam, Cait, or Tony that haven’t been discussed on Tumblr already. With this in mind, I’m prepared to answer every constructive and civil comment I may receive on this post, including any DMs. If you wish, please look through my blog to see what I have posted. You will find it aligns with this side's thinking. You may see some names that do not. Please consider the message, not the messenger. And please, it would be appreciated if you would do some homework before making any comment. Thank you for your time in reading this long and very difficult post. I imagine, many will take some time to process it.

[murfeelee]

End of Year Collage - Best of 2020

Rules: Find your fave pics of your story or your blog in general and post them up in a collage! :D it can be 1 picture or 100 whatever you want. But just reflect on your fave moments in your story or on your blog. It can be cute moments or pictures you’re just really proud of.

I did this last year and decided to make one for 2020, to celebrate simming, the one source of joy I got out of this crapfest of a year.

I used the TumblrTop10 generator for my top CC uploads, which naturally get more traffic than my gameplay pics & photosets.

But I like giving a top 10 for my gameplay pics too, looking back at all my fave fandoms I incorporated into The Sims 3 throughout the year.

MY THOUGHTS (for each month) under the cut:

January: Skryim Werewolves

AAAAWWWOOOO~!

February: Voodoo & Necromancy

My theme for February was Voodoo and Necromancy. The irony doesn’t escape me that I had my best creative boost (focused on morbid/macabre themes), right before the pandemic hit.

March-April: Roaring 3020s Gameplay!

These 2 months were all about my futuristic-Asian-scifi-artdeco/nouveau save in Oasis Landing, where I give the backstory of how Sakura and Ryuu first met. I always describe Sakura as a faery from the future, and this is what I mean by that; she’s a jet-setting time-traveler. Y’all seemed to really like my posts of Sakura this month, particularly her arrival in Oasis Landing in March, and her One Four All challenge in April. But by far the post that got the most attention were my WIPs of Hotel Luck at the end of April, the headquarters of Ryuu’s best friend Lucky’s club.

May: Green Isle, and Malec’s Wedding!

May was totally dominated by my run-through of @crowkeeperthesimmer ‘s Green Isle (Beta) world. But the most emotionally driven gameplay pics I posted this month were actually from my Shadowhunters saves, where I finally got around to recreating Malec’s wedding, which I posted on their 1st year anniversary. ^_^ *blasts Ruelle*

June: Rainbows! 🌈

I started the month still gushing about how pretty Green Isle is, which was great, cuz it was Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈 Because the events of Summer 2020 were downright disgusting, I had Bartros & Nagron, and Gwynburn & Malec do community work in honor of LGBT+ and Black Lives Matter solidarity.

July: Bleach Gameplay starts!

I have been dying to start sharing my Bleach inspired gameplay for months. Bleach is one of my Top 5 fave anime, quite possibly even Top 3 (it’s tied with Attack on Titan). So I tried my best to do the anime justice in TS3, giving me recreation of Episode 1, when Ichigo Kurosaki becomes a shinigami. I plan on doing A LOT more; it’s just gonna take awhile.  

August: Sakura & Ryuu in What? Magazine

Technically, my Sim Bin Collage Pt2 got the most notes this month, but that’s not really gameplay. Even though I posted a bunch of Dragon Age gameplay, people were far more interested in Sakura’s post, particularly my fake What Magazine post, where I trolled y’all with a tabloid spread of Sakura and Ryuu caught by the paps getting frisky in the park.

September: Dragon Retexture WIPs Pt2

According to the Chinese, 2020 is the Year of the Rat, but I was all the way in the Year of the Dragon, baby! #SquadGoals #BoyBandRealness (And I was back in Green Isle AGAIN, lol!)

October: Dragon Master

I love Simblreen, and the Halloween season; it always puts me in a creative mood. But the best inspiration I got this year was after my anime marathon binge of the Bleach spinoff, Burn the Witch, which gave me the idea to make dragons as functional magic broomsticks. I had the occult household from my Deathless gameplay test out all the CC I made for Simblreen. Everyone seemed to really like that, and I was so happy!

November: Shinto Shrine vs DA:I - Tevinter

Another classic example of the photosets I did the bare minimum on that get like twice the amount of notes as posts I’m insanely proud of. XD

I try to upload CC at least once a month, but I’ve had such low motivation this year that come November I was scrambling trying to think of something to make. Then TS4′s Snowy Escape EP came out and I was like BINGO. So I did all of that in a few days, really quickly, and cracked open my Moon Medicine save to test the CC & take pics. No big.

But I’ve been working hard on my Dragon Age INSP gameplay & pics for well over a YEAR, and I had been so excited to start posting my Tevinter gameplay with Dorian Pavus. That Blood Magic post got far less traction, but that’s like the best photoset I think I made all year. Crazy how Tumblr works. :\

December: A Bunch of Stuff Happened, Holy Cow!

First there was the Pinterest Challenge, which y’all really seemed to like. Then I did another installment of BrennaIvy’s Modern Male Project (which got the most notes for December). Then I did Magnus Bane’s birthday post for the Shadowhunters fandom, which is usually one of my more popular posts. But then I posted my WIPs of my Maximalism set, and y’all really REALLY liked that one, so basically I was so so happy this December! :D

__________________________________________________

Thank you everybody, followers, mutuals, lurkers, and all simmers who continue to support me and The Sims 3, and like my content!

Happy Simming, and Happy New Year!

#sims 3 gameplay #simblr #the sims 3 #ts3 #murfeelee

[system-of-a-feather]

at least you get a fucking break from your life, most of us just have to fucking bare every single agonizing moment alone and on our own. but we're oppressing you bcus we wish we could just not exist anymore like you get the luxury of

Oh wow I really am shocked “Its really rude and offensive to tell people with a serious disorder that messes up lives, relationships, and daily functioning that also comes from chronic childhood trauma that they are lucky to have it” was the topic that got me my first aggressive anon (excluding ActingNT who is practically a troll so it doesn’t count)

I’m sorry you are hurting and feeling alone like this though. I wish you could have a break from what is making you feel this way as well, I don’t think you deserve to feel that way. I don’t think anyone deserves to feel that way.

Though I’m sorry to tell you, contrary to what media / Youtubers might make you think, we really don’t get a break from our life and we don’t get to “just not exist.”

From the outside, the times of being in the innerworld or “times not front” might sound like time to just go into a peaceful magical world, but often times it isn’t. I’m the host of the system, and I really don’t have access to the inner world, I just really get time jumps and leaps. I don’t get to relax anywhere, all I get is that it is one moment, then its some other time and I don’t really know what has or has not been done.

It’s not a break, its a time leap. I don’t get a chance to breath and I’m just thrown back into the loop as if I never stopped. And when I am “gone,” my life - all the bad and good and trauma in it - still occurs and continues and things I don’t want happening will happen and I will still be held responsible. I have hurt this body when I was “gone”, I have caused such huge issues in very important relationships of mine when I had a time leap - not a break. 

Before I worked to get to know my system, I would have times where I was having a good time, then something would happen, and I would “zone out” and find myself confused a bit and realizing I had said really shitty horrible things and for the rest of the day I would have to try to apologize and clean up for things I hadn’t intentionally done.

That is less now that I know my system and have gotten to working to work together, but it isn’t a break.

And as for “you get a break”, I really would have to ask who you are talking to? Maybe if you were to talk to me, the host, I get a bit of a break from time to time. If you were to be talking to any of my trauma holders / EPs that do not end up on this blog? No. A good few of them never do. 

For a good few of them, I know the only thing they know in life is pain and because of how our brain has compartmentalized the trauma, they are stuck constantly in a state of feeling pain and reliving trauma over and over. When they are front, they are always having a flashback or panic attack. When they are “getting a break in the headspace” they are re-experiencing trauma. I have at least three parts that haven’t experienced anything good since the time they split off - which for many, it would have been years.

Plus, it is also to important that we aren’t actual individual real people. We are parts of a whole so torn apart from what has happened to us that we can’t consciously accept that large parts of us are actually real / actually us. We identify as seperate, but as a whole, whatever our “whole self” would be, never gets to leave this life either.

I’m really sorry though that you are hurting enough that you feel that DID would help you and your life out. I really do help your life gets better for you and that someone reaches out to help you while you are hurting. Thinking having DID would solve the issue is wishful thinking that has been build up by certain media players in the community, but it really isn’t as nice as it might look to outsiders. There are people and things out there that are willing to love and care for you, and I know that it can be hard to believe, but they are out there. Having DID or trying to get it from a subliminal isn’t going to help you or make you feel better - at least not in the long run. 

I know it isn’t available for everyone, but if you can, please talk to a school counselor, a doctor, or a therapist about how you are feeling. You deserve real genuine help.

I know what it feels like to feel hounded by nothing but pain and darkness and to feel completely lost, hopeless, and scared and to want absolutely anything to get a break from life and the situation you are in. Even with DID, I have experienced that really harshly, so I really do hope you get the help that you need.

You aren’t alone and you deserve help and support.

-Riku (Host)

#alter: riku #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #ableism tw #ableism #did #ask #asks #I am only tagging ableism for those that might be triggered by asks like these #I feel this is an issue of pain and missunderstanding #please do not call this person an ableist or send them hate #I don't think they are a bad person even if this was a bit rude and aggressive #discourse tw #discourse