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deblklesb · 1 year

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[Angel of the small death — Sevika × Reader OneShot]

[ballet dancer reader, bodyguard Sevika, smut (MDNI)]

Summary: Being Silco's daughter it's not some simple thing, especially thinking about the necessity of being guarded at all times. When a conflict starts, Sevika, his best employee, becomes your main bodyguard. It turns out things escalate a little bit until you bout break the tension.

a/n: boy oh boy this is BIG and it took me more time than i expected. this was an anonymous request so i can't tag the person who did it, but i enjoyed writing this, thanks sm! I'm so sorry for the delay, I hope you enjoy it, anon! 💗✨

cw: some violence (a loose member), blood, smut (cunnilingus, masturbation, fingering)

not proof read | 5.2k words

[reblogs are highly appreciated!]

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Living is such a weird concept; that's all you can think about as you look through the songs on your playlists, laying on the bed. Nothing seemed to draw your attention, the assignment of your last class in mind created an urge to find the answers to your inspiration. It was a good thing, exactly what you needed now, and you couldn't let it slip through your fingers.

The plan was to show your teacher how capable you really were. Composition wasn't an easy thing, and even though you loved that subject the song was a major part to determine your next steps on that project. So you were searching restlessly, seeking for that high only an insight could provide, as fast as you could.

You had to interrupt your plans, though, when the screen of your phone showed an incoming call.

"Hi, dad", the other side of the line was weirdly messy, he usually tried to get a quiet place before calling you.

"You need to go to my office. I see you there in ten minutes"

"Is everything okay?" You sat on the bed. His tone wasn't usual either.

"I'll explain later. Now go."

When Silco tells you to go, you go.

The fact was that you didn't like your dad's work. All the illegal shit surrounded the places since you could remember, even if he tried hard to cover it in front of a kid. The whispers and smiles, usually opportunistics but also nervous, the feeling of being treated like a rare piece, the fear exhaling from people who knew what was happening but couldn't tell. You saw how everyone feared the slender, incisive man.

For quite some time you thought you should fear him too. But, for better or worse, he was a different person when he was with you. And as you grew old, he started to explain the situations and dynamics to you, teach you things, show what you could have. In your late twenty's now, you could use a gun and threaten people using an infinite amount of goons, but you definitely rather not.

Another thing he did was give you whatever you wanted. And some would say that wasn't a good thing, but it wasn't all that bad either. I mean, come on; he would let you go to the water park and in exchange you wouldn't miss behave, it was actually a very fair agreement. So he let you play with puppies when you were young, go out with your friends when you were a teenager and, most importantly, he'd encourage you to be a professional ballet dancer.

Thinking about his honesty and open conversations, you entered the crowded building right before David, your bodyguard, ignoring the loud music, usual from a never ending night at The Last Drop. Since that was a common scenario for you, stopping to look around and enjoy the mood wasn't necessary. Your father's tone on that call was enough to make you walk upstairs, directly towards his office at the end of the hallway.

Aside from what you feared, the scene in front of you was actually kinda unsettling. For sure he was a man that started to tell you stuff while you grew up, but a bloody finger on top of the table was new - it wasn’t attached to a body. Red stains on the wood were shining under the lights, contrasting too much with the green bathing the room due to the big glass window behind his desk. The finger had a cross tattooed on it and a golden ring, both now looking uncanny under the crimson that drew too much attention from you.

“You didn’t have a tattooed finger before”, was all you could say, almost out of breath.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?”

Your eyes wandered around; there was the only unfamiliar thing, and still was capable of making you feel uncomfortable. It was a surprise for yourself, the girl who beat a school colleague at seven years old because she called you a bitch. Silco tried very hard not to congratulate you too much that day, speaking politely with the principal but also making a point of not allowing that other girl to get an apology from you; she was cursing you, not the other way around - and it wasn’t just because some childish argument, the fact that you were from Zaun made you a target of mean looks and disdain all around Piltover while growing up. That girl had it coming (a broken nose) and you got a popsicle. So, yeah, blood wasn’t that out of your reality, but for some reason that detached finger made you change the weight from one leg to the other, breathing deeply.

“What happened?”

“Some idiot had the idea of snitching, we lost a guy who was in Rebecca's factory.” The well dressed man pointed to the bloody, sole body part. “This was her way of telling she found out about our plans”

“Point made, I guess”

“I just called you here so we could arrange things with David.” You frowned, looking over your shoulder to the serious, suited man behind. “I’m assigning someone else to guard you from now on. At least until this troublesome, unnecessary hostility ends”

“You’re trying to invade each other’s business, I’m pretty sure it’s not that unnecessary, dad”, the amount of discomfort was making you uneasy. That conflict was growing too much, a finger wouldn’t be the most alarming body part to appear around.

As much as your dad had had numerous conflicts around, the tension between Glasc Company and your father’s business took a turn when Rebecca decided to sell drugs herself. Losing territory, the one he fought too hard to get, was very unpleasant.

So, with quick heartbeats and perspiring palms, you watched as your father gave David some papers and instructions. The tall guy nodded, turning and offering you a smile - probably for the second or third time, which made it look very off-putting for him.

“It was very nice working for you. I never said a thing because it wasn’t part of the work”, it was more words than you’ve ever heard from him. His voice was different that you thought based on the monosyllabic answers he always gave. “but your book recommendations and songs were good. Thanks”

“Well, that’s more than I expected, I genuinely thought you hated me.” You chuckled. “It was nice having you around, David”

Then he left the room and you were left with your dad and that stupid finger, Silco seated on his couch and grabbed a cigar. “Aren’t you going to grab that finger? I thought it was rude to show it around for nothing”, you seated next to him.

Even though your father wasn’t hurt, the aspect of where that war could lead to made you think about very violent and scary endings. He was a good criminal, but still a man, a mortal one.

“I need someone else to see it” He crossed his legs as you got closer, laying the head on his shoulder before he pulled you closer on a sided embrace. “She’ll come soon. Until then, tell me how your classes are.”

He always did that, since you were a kid. Being on a college level didn’t make that much of a difference in his eyes, at least about that topic. He would listen to you talk about muscle pains and lame history classes, instrumental music, group dynamics and upcoming events. It was simple and chill, but it was his way of connecting with you in an area he didn’t know a lot about, aside from your yearly spectacles.

“This new assignment seems tiring, darling” He observed. “But, like they say, break a leg. You will be just fine”

Before you could make a joke about his use of theatrical sayings, the door swung open to reveal a tall, cloaked woman with short dark hair. The look on her face revealed dissatisfaction when she traveled it from the detached, bloody finger to you; the same you knew very well from everytime you both crossed paths. The same one you couldn’t forget for two days after receiving it.

She just stood there, silent, hands on the side of her built body, looking directly at you as if she was waiting for something - or someone. You could involuntarily lose yourself under the grayish orbs, as much as you hated this fact, but an insight struck you.

You backed off your father, turning to stare at him, not getting a single word in response. That must be a joke.

“You can’t be serious”, the tone in your voice was almost desperate. He couldn’t be doing this, right?

“That finger points otherwise”

・・・・・・・・・・

Telling David you thought he hated you was a silly comment to cool the mood. Saying that Sevika probably hated you was an understatement.

The first time you met she had just been hired and you both made a scene when she didn't believe you about being Silco's daughter. When your father introduced you officially, she just looked annoyed and bit back some unpleasant comment, knowing very well that it could cost her work.

Since then, you haven't spoken peacefully with each other. She always had a snarky comment about your classes and the way you behaved - which, to be fair, she wasn't kinda wrong; every year you realized how stupid you could've been the year before, maturity didn't come out of nowhere. Sevika herself got more mature too. She was probably five years older than you and with much more life experience, but she wasn't the holder of all knowledge and could be very judgemental too.

Putting you together wasn't a choice your father made for nothing. Sevika was his best employee. She fought better than anyone and would prioritize your safety at all costs, since it was her job now. That meant that if you wanted to go somewhere, Sevika had a saying on if you could go or not. If you wanted to visit a new place, it had to be checked before. If you wanted to stay up all night practicing in a studio you rented - because your apartment wasn't that big in order to not draw too much attention -, she had to be there and also get more people to guard the building.

And that's exactly what was happening right now.

A month since the finger incident, with Sevika being your bodyguard. She didn't look pleased. And you could say you weren't either… But that would be a massive lie.

Because you liked her looks in your direction when you were getting out of classes, and you liked the way she rolled her eyes at your bad jokes, the ones you did solely to annoy her - you were very mature but you also loved to annoy her. You liked to stand next to her on coffee shop lines, instead of being in front of her, and you liked to dress better just so she could give you a look from head to toes whenever you got out of your apartment in the mornings.

Honestly, who could judge you?

You didn't realize those things until a week later after this whole shit started, when you tried to get off one night and accidentally imagine her. It was a very embarrassing moment and you forced yourself to sleep as soon as you got back from that high, but the image didn't fade away. The image of her towering you and kissing you, pressing her body against yours in the most desperate way. You got off imagining kisses and intimacy with Sevika. Not necessarily pornographic scenarios, no; just the thought of her lips on yours and how she would react when feeling you on her fingers, her face and the words she could say, the heavy breaths. That turned you on. The feeling of being so close you could feel the heat and your heart beat faster.

You don't know what is the worst part: coming when imagining Sevika, or the fact that what got into your mind wasn't even that explicit. It was so simple, it made you pissed off about how she could affect you with so little.

But it was just a fantasy, a distant and unrealistic one. She didn't like you. Right?

Right.

That ideas were fucking you up bit by bit. At this point it was difficult to practice, head far gone, not in the slightest focusing on that amazing song you got to choose - La Danse Macabre was one of your favorite pieces and fit the theme well in your vision. So you needed to compose a four minute choreography and you have been practicing it for four weeks straight. You'd go from classes to the studio every day, staying up until late. Your feet hurt, your body was most definitely not that used to the extra effort, but it would be worth it. Not to brag, but it was kinda dope.

So there you were, looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to convey all the feelings you needed to: the sensuality of death, calling the viewer in the most subtle and dangerous way at first, but ending up being beautiful.

Your body gesture had to be on point with the postures and the weight of the moviments, it wasn't easy the fact that you would present it alone.

At some point, you didn't know when, you noticed Sevika on the corner next to the door. She was just there, quiet, looking at you.

Her presence threw you off. You slipped a little, losing timing and concentration. "Fuck", you hissed.

The song stopped when you reached your phone to pause it. Looking at the time, it had been three hours since you arrived. Your legs were sore and, honestly, the concentration was so little that just the image of that woman was enough to make you lose it. Tiredness and frustration got into you, making you sigh and turn to her. She didn't move an inch.

"What are you looking at?" That sounded more harsh than you wished.

"I thought you were a dancer. They usually are looked at, anyways", she didn't seem to diminish anything there, or to bother by your tone. That fucking look she had, the one that told you how you wouldn't get anything from her; it was nerve-wracking.

You thought you saw her eyes wandering through your body, but it probably was just some illusion.

"Yeah, I guess so", you shrugged, trying not to notice her posture or to imagine her torso under that cloak. And shirt. Numerous thoughts came back; no, illusions. Fantasies. Sevika holding you and her breath against your skin, would the feeling of her torso under your palms be so pleasant? Would her lips be so good on yours? Would the warmth give you butterflies? "Do you like what you see?"

The fact that you said "see" and not "saw" didn't click immediately; you weren't talking about the dance.

Sevika gulped. She gulped while analyzing your body on that collant and pantyhose, thinking about how your would skin feel under her touch. How she wanted to hear you calling her name and gasping, while she tried to make you feel so good like you never felt.

The looks weren't just your imagination. The way she noticed you dressing a little bit differently, that was real. And she'd spent the day trying to focus on her work and not laughing at your horrible jokes, or not feeling too good about you succeeding in your classes and beating all those snobs' pilties. She wanted to congratulate you about the choreography and say how she would follow you without question if you were death, because dying under your hypnotizing moves would be a blessing.

She wanted to say how you could do whatever you wanted to her.

So that question was so timely. The smirk on her full dark lips made you shiver, a feeling pooling on your stomach, anticipation. Gods help you, the need to kiss her was so fucking overwhelming now.

"I do, actually", Sevika said. "I like it very much. It's a gorgeous view"

It could be all. That moment could end and you'd never mention it again, leave it like water under the bridge. But, oh, you wanted to drown. You wanted to drink that water, savor it, until that thirst ended.

So you gave a step. And seeing her chest moving with a breath, you gave another. You walked towards her carefully, like she could escape any minute, and when you were finally close enough that pressure seemed to crush your chest, taking the air from your lungs.

In your life it wasn't that many times you'd sweat before kissing someone. And yet there you were, palms perspiring because Sevika wasn't moving.

"Show me how you like it, then", you said. "I'm a physical, practical learner, by the way"

She chuckled lightly, looking away and then to you again. That could literally cost her life or yours.

You could be the angel of her small death, and Sevika would die happily.

Throwing all the reasoning away, she finally touched you. She pulled you close and erased the space between your lips, poisoning herself in your taste and your tongue. Your mind flooded with stimuli: her lips and tongue, her shoulders under your hands, the weight of her touch on your hips, the imaginary scenes your mind created to make you ask yourself about what you both could do.

The small moan that escaped between the kiss made her hold you tighter, dominating that moment with her need. Her hair felt soft, intertwined with your fingers, and the muscles pressing yours made your head spin. It must be a gift from the goddesses.

It didn't matter the other guards outside of the room or the building, right now it was just you both.

"Show me how you like it", you whispered, untying her cloak to reveal her strong torso and shoulders covered by the dark shirt. "How you'd like to take me"

She groaned, kissing you again and pulling you by the thighs, forcing you to wrap the legs around her as she walked to sit on a simple couch there.

The feeling of her body under your touch was capable of numbing your thoughts, skin warm and scarred. Her kiss was so fucking intoxicating, consuming you from inside out while she grabbed your flesh.

When her lips traveled through your chin and jaw, going to your neck, you sighed and moved the hips on her lap. Your fingers got the elastic off her hair, letting the strands fall loose around her face as you pulled back to look at the woman. The dark grayish eyes and the full lips, beautiful nose, that jawline, some scars around; Sevika was so pretty it took your breath away.

"I don't think you want to spend all the time looking at me, princess", she murmured and her voice made all your body respond. The smirk added to her movements to lose your hair from the high bun; fuck, you were out of words. "What? Did the cat get your tongue?"

"I'll look at you a lot later", you finally said, fingers caressing her features as she analyzed you closely. "Now I really need you to handle me around"

Sevika's smug was something so intimate to you, something that, you swear, could make you go insane.

She pulled the straps of your leotard, eyes still glued to your reactions as the cool air reached your nipples, making you sigh. Without wasting any more time, Sevika held you by the waist with the prosthetic hand and used the other to play with one breast. A warm tongue tasted the other one, and she was so careful to let you feel every inch of that contact. You felt that throbbing between your legs more intensely the more she twisted the muscle, savoring, tasting. Her thumb and index finger played with the free nipple, shivers across your body making you breathe heavily with the sensations.

Your hands worked on feeling every muscle you could, hips moving because the sensations spreading from between your legs through your body were getting more and more prominent. Her tongue was soft, but your attention got divided by the cool prosthetic hand pulling the leotard. You didn’t want to separate from her, but you had too.

Sevika kept looking at your body as you pulled away, getting up between her strong legs. And she analyzed as you started to take off the clothes and the pointe shoes. Being under her sight like that was something else, you could feel your heart beating across your whole body, getting heated and desperate. Her demeanor, the laid back posture, spread legs and trenchant look got you wanting to get on your knees. And that’s what you did.

Throwing the fabric pieces away, you started to unbelt her pants and pull the zip down while squatting and kneeling. She’d stare at you, at your easy hands and light touches going especially fast to open the clothing. The contrast between this and the way you looked at her could make her go impatient, but she held back the instinct to do everything on her time when seeing the hunger growing in you.

“I thought you wanted me to handle you”, she smirked while raising the hips to take away the pants, after doing the same with her shoes. You helped, caressing the muscular thighs with admiration in your mind. Fuck, she was so beautiful.

“And I hope you do”, you kissed the right thigh, trailing up slowly until you reached her crotch. Under the shirt you saw her abdomen contracting in response and the chest expanding with her heavy breaths. “Never rode someone’s face?” You smirked, right hand touching the side of her body, up and down.

As you imagined, she then proceeded to lean in your direction while a hand grabbed you by the, now, loose hair. It wasn’t hard, but enough to make you throb and, for sure, get more wet. When she noticed your reaction was positive something shifted. Her pupils blown, and you could notice the mood changing by the glit in her eyes.

She got so close the tip of your noses bumped, silence crushing you while she made sure you wouldn’t falt back. And then, you could swear, Sevika got a bigger hunger in her. “Finish taking this shit off”, she said.

You needed a second as she laid back again. She arched an eyebrow as a cue for you to pull the boxers off, and as much as you tried you didn’t paid a single fuck to where that piece of fabric went. Not when Sevika drew you closer with a single ministration through your head, pulling you to her core as your heart beat faster.

She was wet and, fuck, she looked so appealing. Your mouth watered as you rested the hands on her bare thighs.

“Tongue out”, you obeyed.

Sevika finally pulled one last time and a satisfied, low sound got out of you, as you finally tasted her. And, oh, she was delicious.

Her hips started to move, the vision from that angle would never fade from your mind. She was enjoying this, dragging her core on your tongue, holding you there so you couldn’t leave, using you to her pleasure. And your mind was getting too crowded with that much information in the best way. Your pussy clenched when she moaned low, nipples somehow getting even harder to the point of hurting. Her taste was being scattered around your mouth and you wanted to be there for your whole life.

“Flat your tongue”, and you did, with a rush that made her smirk. Her abs would flex with her movements, so as her thighs.

Having Sevika riding your face was something so heavenly, so divine. You almost envied those girls in the brothel, who could get to do it so much, but then you'd remember that this woman was so worked up already because of you.

Her bud against your palate, the juices going on your lips and chin, the expressions due to the pleasure that came to bestow her, the loose hair falling on her face and the muscles contracting. The little wet sounds of your tongue against her core made the situation more erotic, and at some point you started to move the muscle that was in contact there. It drew a moan from Sevika, who was using the left arm to sustain her weight while she rubbed herself on you, seeking pleasure.

The more the seconds went by, the more Sevika loosened herself. She started to fault in her moves, twitching and spasming as her dark gray eyes ate the sight of you so eagerly tasting her. A small moan escaped, followed by a growl and her legs spreading more.

Your hands flew to her breasts under the shirt, palming the warm flesh, searching for her nipples as you hummed against her core. The vibrations pleased her.

The way you started to flick your tongue heavily got the tall woman groaning and pressing your head harder against herself. You saw the frown and the way her eyes rolled before closing, her body tensing, the shaky and sharp breaths as you felt her getting excessively wet.

"Fuck–!" She gasped, a smirk on her full, attractive lips. "So good, princess", her words were as smooth as the caresses the woman made on your hair, still spasming everytime your tongue drew on her swollen bud.

The flavor was divine; you thought as you palate went on her entrance. The fact that you could taste her forever made you hotter, eager, needier.

Sevika leaned and pulled you again, making you sulk a little at the distance from that heavenly position. But then she got you back on her lap, against her chest, legs open.

Even though no one else was there, you felt exposed. As if your secret were being revealed and, suddenly, the whole world could watch as your most recent forbidden fantasies played out.

The way she held you there, prosthetic hand under a knee as the other one traveled around your naked body, creating heat paths on your skin. Her lips distribute kisses along your neck and shoulder, taking sighs from you. And underneath all of it was an overwhelming heartbeat that got you panting at the sensation of her touch going south.

"Shit, you're dripping", she whispered, getting your attention. You turned to look at her, lips parted brushing on hers as her fingers went from your entrance to your already sensitive clit. "Got so worked up just from me riding your face?"

"Yes…"

Her digits, soaked, rubbed smoothly on your bud. You rested a hand on her hair, the other playing with your nipples as she tortuously stimulated your core.

"So good… Do you get that wet when you touch yourself thinking about me?"

You froze, eyes wandering around her face just to capture that smug. Despite that, Sevika didn't stop. She kept working on you, massaging your whole cunt, getting her own palm full of your moistures as you felt yourself throb. "I heard you one night. You didn't even notice you called my name, uh?"

Shit.

You actually did. With her on the other side of the door, you kinda expected that you had said it lower than it actually was, and that she hadn't listened to it that night. But it seems like life wouldn't let it pass.

"So now" Sevika kissed you, pecking on your lips as her fingers concentrated on your sensitive bud. "Let me hear you. Loud and clear"

Her ministrations were making you move your hips. Everything started to be too much, her breath against your skin, the cold of the prosthetic hand and the air. You wanted to give in entirely, wishing you were at home so she could rail you on your bed. She increased the speed, having your moans growing bit by bit.

It felt good. Too good. You kept messing with your own breasts, eyes rolling with your hips and her hand, feeling that high approaching.

"Getting all loosen up and relax for me, I might as well fuck you again tonight, princess", she hissed, taking a small smile for you as two of her fingers pressed and got inside of you.

You moaned more languidly as she moved with ease, in and out smoothly due to how wet you were. And it didn't take long until you felt that pull in your stomach, clenching around her digits and gasping, whining, a hand full of her hair as you moved without control.

The climax made you arch your back, her fingers came back to circle on your clit again as you trembled and murmured some incomprehensible words. Throbbing and spasming; that woman made you so full of desire it was ridiculous.

"Gorgeous", Sevika whispered, kissing your neck as you came down from your high, breathing deeply and feeling your body floating on her lap.

"That was some stupid shit", you chuckled, panting.

Her hands closed your legs and helped you turn a little so you could rest on her prosthetic arm and look better at her. Some sweat drops were on her forehead and the side of her neck, the dark skin glowing a bit.

"I learned a lot today, thanks", the woman laughed, accepting your touch on her face. "It was very delightful"

"I'm glad I could provide you some knowledge", her right hand rested on your thighs, thumb caressing your skin. "I hope on the future you can teach me how to make your fantasies come true"

At that, your core sent a shiver through your body, heat rising slightly. "Maybe someday I'll tell you"

Sevika nodded as you rested the head on her shoulder. She felt warm. Was it wrong to want her on your bed?

"I'll look forward to it"

・・・・・・・・・・

Your body was full of energy right now, the feeling of being on top of the world consuming you from inside out. It was almost possible to feel every molecule vibrating, twisting your guts.

"Call another guard", you murmured to Sevika discreetly while passing by her.

She followed you outside the building of Art classes, looking around as usual. The car was waiting, following the time established by orders.

The whole way to your apartment was silent. Your class came back to memory, the sensation of finally presenting the piece you've been planning for weeks now. The music took you away and, during those notes that reverberated on your flesh, no one was there. Just you and the music, working together. And it didn't feel real when your teacher congratulated you with a smile on her fine lips; she wasn't the type of teacher to smile that much. That meant a lot. It was huge actually.

But before telling anyone, you wanted to let all this energy flow to something else. To somebody else.

So you waited until a knock on your bedroom door, and you saw her getting inside carefully, confusion on her face as you asked her to sit by a corner.

Resting on your bed, heartbeat increasing, you moistened your lips. "Do you wanna know what else I fantasized about?"

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

[dividers by @froopis]

#sevika oneshot #sevika x reader #sevika arcane #arcane sevika #sevika fic #sevika x reader smut #sevika x reader fanfic #sevika x reader fic #deblklesb #arcane fanfic #arcane oneshot #arcane fic

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christinebloodwrittings · 10 months

Text

Something exactly like this

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Violence, abuse, police brutality, hints of ptsd, cursing.

Words: 1957

Chapter four: If only we weren't strangers.

Taglist: @xoxobabe @lavndrluv @whatamidoing89 @theboyrisingfromstardust

There are moments in life that simply cannot be forgotten. When you least expect them, they repeat in your head like a catchy tune. Or at least, that's what good times sound like, like a day with your parents at the park, eating ice cream, laughing and playing, having the sun warm up your skin nicely.

But in moments of peace, my mind wanders over my decisions, entwined in infinite designs of a pattern that forms an image. It's blurry and incomplete, but each thread glows brightly, almost alive.

God knows I made bad decisions, some worse than others, like sneaking out to a party and getting my stubborn ass dragged to the police station was one of the worst, but for the sake of just going. I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have drunk, or let myself be carried away by the music, much less let one of the guys make me take a walk to get some air.

Because they didn't process me as a teenager, but as an adult.

An adult who had drunk like never before in her life, a minor, defenseless, with zero reasoning power.

The policeman who handcuffed me didn't read my rights, he just pushed my head into the car and drove to the station. He was suspiciously heavily armed, I must say.

He didn't put me in a cell, it was more of a room with a desk and pictures of a bald white guy with a loving family. I remember that desk well, especially the smooth, cold surface.

The officer just told me to wait quietly, that if I made a single sound he would break my knees, or so I think, I just remember laughing.

The rest is history... medical history.

It's funny how much you can miss after a few drinks, but at least they kept me from remembering what was important. My body and the photographs that the detectives took spoke for themselves.

During my time in the hospital room, a doctor came to me with news, supposedly to improve my mood, he told me that two policemen had entered the hospital with me, one of them blind in one eye and the other with a piece of his ear missing.

He was the typical adult who thought himself young and cool, trying to ease my pain with more or less happy news, something like "You look like crap, but you should see the others, champ!", but I doubt they were starring in their own version of the mummy.

Although of course, it was curious that when I woke up, I was missing several of my acrylic nails. Back then I did what it took to fit in, we've all been there.

My case was left unfinished, for a change. The policemen had no legal repercussions and remained intact in their jobs. It was never made public since I lived in a town in the middle of nowhere, and the detective in charge just gave me a taser in case it happens again.

I fucking hate the system.

My dad went crazy for it, who wouldn't be? That led him to call an old friend who had recently made a name for himself in the big city, in a political position.

I thought that justice would be done through human means and that the system would finally work, but unfortunately that dinner was the beginning of a terrible decision.

It was also the last time that Norman Osborn sat at our table looking completely human.

From that experience I was left with an omen, a voice, that screamed heartbreaking pleas for me to get away from the police, especially if it was V.E.N.O.M.

It has me sweating cold most of my nights.

That night I listened to it again and like an instinct I jumped out of my seat and started running. I spotted the emergency exit, I didn't think twice, I kicked it and ran in the opposite direction of the blue and red glow.

But it was as if it was getting louder, ferocious voices were yelling at me to stop, that I was under arrest, I was not going to let them take me away again, ever, over my corpse.

The burning tires, the smell of gasoline, everything led me to that night. I felt my heart in my ears, from the tears I could hardly see where I was going, and I only knew that I was moving through the cold air hitting my face, I could no longer feel my legs or my body in general. I just needed to run away.

The only time I stopped was when something grabbed me by the waist and stuck my back to his chest, looking up I realized it was Spider-punk. He lifted his finger to where I figured his mouth was, signaling for me to be quiet, but between my agitated hyperventilation, I just couldn't.

"I'm here, I won't let 'em take you" he whispered, getting a tigher hold of my body. A warm feeling grounded me a little when he hugged me, the rest of my body was so cold, I yearned for more warmth.

A loud bang resonated though the air, before the police sirens started to fade in the distance. We stayed a few minutes like that, even long after the silence settled among city's normal noise.

"They're gone now" he patted my head slightly, reassuring me. It felt nice to be held again, to feel safe for a minute.

"Looks like I owe you that kiss, huh?" I rolled my eyes, it's true that the danger was far away now, but it wasn't the right time to joke around.

"For all wrong reasons" I wanted to move, but I guess I took it too far with the escape run, it felt as if my feet were asleep. It was like the cold air built stalactites on the insides of my lungs, every breath brought a painful pang on my side.

"I don't mind settling that, but maybe I should leave you an excuse" he smiled, using my own words, "Perhaps you should".

Stepping a few times seemed to make the trick, I could feel my feet again, but the burning sensation in my chest remained, so I just walked at an old lady's speed.

"I get it, you were scared, the adrenaline is wearin' off, but you don't have to be so cold" he kept himself close, no quite beside me, but close.

I didn't respond to any of his callings, honestly I was far too tired and fed up with myself to handle anything external, except than silence, which was the last thing following me.

"Hey, 's goin on?" He stopped me by grabbing my arm, not making any pressure on it, he just hooked his hand on my elbow and stopped walking, making me almost lose my balance and curse under my breath.

"Fuck sake, why are you so fixated on the kiss thing? It was a joke, I thought I would never see you again, so it didn't mattered what I said", janking away from his hand, I managed to regain my posture and my walk.

"Well, it did to me" he muttered.

"I'm sorry, picture this for a fucking second. Normal female citizen about to be beaten up by a corrupt cop gets saved by a random dude with superpowers, among them abnormal strength. Then gets dropped off at her apartment, and the creep expects a kiss, so she jokes as to not make the mutant mad, and he keeps being flirty and pushy about the damn thing!" I lost my breath at the last sentence, and it broke me to realize how much it really hit me.

Perhaps I was being too hard on him, but pushing the issue in the first place, and in a situation of extreme stress was kind of the last drop.

"Now I was chased by cops, my heart is in the back of my mouth as well as the pie and my lunch, I'm tired, it's been a long fucking day, and guess what, the stranger keeps being pushy about a fucking kiss" then I went silent, having almost nothing else on my chest to vomit at all. Perhaps it wasn't how I wanted to say it, but I had a limit, and I couldn't find another way to draw it.

He backed up a little, raising his open palms to his chest level, "Hey, 'm sorry, I was just joking around" His voice was low and apologetic, it was like his presence shrunk from the tall and intimidating Spider-Punk, to just a guy that realized he fucked up.

I took a big breath, the burning sensation calming down a little, "Look I'm sorry, I have a bad history with cops, and men in general, the stress is all over me...I should've minded my words" down the weather was an understatement of my mood.

He hesitated, but in a slow motion, very carefully, he brushed a strand of lose hair off my face, brushing my cheek sweetly along the way.

"Forgive me luv, I pushed it" I nodded, his hand lingered on my cheek for a couple more seconds before withdrawing his touch, leaving me with a fluttery sensation.

He patted his jacket for a second before pulling a wrinkled piece of paper, which he handed to me, "Y'know, you can call this number, he's always around, 's a good pal o' mine, he'll help you if you need it" it had a phone number and a name that seemed to be a joke by now.

"Hobie Brown, the guitarrist? Met him already" he turned around to see me, "Really?" It was as if I could see his eyebrows rising.

"He pulled me out of the crowd mid anxiety attack, we didn't spoke much, but I apreciated it" he was so considerate for that, and I don't think I ever thank him for it.

"Intrestin', what do you think of him? First impresions only" I was taken aback by his question, but I didn't minded much, "He seemed nice, intimidating and surreal, but nice. My friend and her boyfriend supposedly set us up in order to date, but I don't see it happening" more like a failed ambush by cupid.

"Why's that?"

"I don't know, I guess...I guess we're too different, we don't even like the same music, and he's so..." so handsome but too much at this moment,

"So?"

"Rebel, he seems like trouble"

"What's life without a lil' trouble?"

"Are you also trying to set me up with that friend of yours? He can't be that dreamy, besides I don't know if I'm ready to jump in a relationship just yet"

"I understand"

He opened his arm to me, I thought he was going to swing us back to my place. Instead, he hugged me, his arm circulated my waist, and the other caressed my hair, "May I?" I looked up, his face was only inches from mine, "Fine, just do it" He chucked while using a finger to make me face the alley, then I felt his lips on my cheek.

When I turned to face him, his mask was fully covering his face, got to say I was a little disappointed. "We're settled then?" He chuckled again, "On my end only, can't wait for your kiss" this dude was making me crazy, "You're insufferable" this time he did wrap me with his arms and took off, "Indeed darling" was the last thing he did before dropping me off back at my place and then leaving again.

Funny, I found the crisps he promised right on my bed when I came back.

#hobie x reader #hobie x you #hobie x y/n #hobie brown x you #hobie brown #hobie brown smut #hobie smut #hobie spiderverse #atsv hobie #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #spider punk #spiderman

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cows-wearing-my-sweater · 1 year

Text

"weren't we the stars in heaven?"

word count: 1978 warnings: angst ??? notes: title is from the song linked above -- kinda some fluff in this but mostly just sad LMAO </3 also im using this as an opportunity to say all of the fic writers here are so inspiring i actually get sm motivation from u guys !! ily forever

Water laps at your fingertips. It’s so very cold; you imagine the icy feeling crawling up your arm until it has frozen your entire body. You’d like to be stuck here for the rest of eternity, the late-winter sky covering the world like a blanket. Most of the sounds around you are muffled, save for the occasional words exchanged between you and Matty.

You’re sitting with him at the edge of an old and worn pier. Initials and hearts and expletives are carved into it all over, and many of the boards have fallen apart, but this is your place. You’ve come here often with Matty over the many years of your friendship. A small, quiet pond. A few lilies adorn where the land slips into water, but aside from that, the scene is entirely unremarkable. There was never a spoken reason why you returned here with him so many times. It was a sort of ritual at this point. After the first night you found the place, a night where you were both a little too stoned and the world was spinning far too quickly, it had become a sanctuary.

Matty watches your fingers continue to swirl through the water, spiraling around and around to create little whorls. “What are you thinking about?” he asks you softly.

You hear the words but they don’t seem to register. Matty’s voice is far away, calling you from a universe where things are different. He says your name this time, a little louder than before.

“Hm?” You lift your head and sit up straighter to get a good look at him. A smile is spread across his face, but you can detect the sadness behind it. It’s a look of mourning, the knowledge of the loss that can’t be avoided for much longer.

Matty repeats himself for you. “I asked what you’re thinking about right now.” He nudges you with his elbow, adding, “You seem a bit preoccupied.”

There’s a lump in your throat. He’s pretending not to know and you’re going to have to say it. Part of you wants to be furious, wants to scream over the fact that he’s acting like he forgot that this is his last day before leaving with the band. You find you can’t truly be angry, though. You saw the tears pooling in his eyes when he told you a month ago that he would be leaving. Even then, you had known it was an opportunity he couldn’t miss. The world was ready for The 1975’s first tour, and it would be nothing but selfish to get on your knees and beg for him to change his mind.

You take a breath to collect yourself before answering his question. “Thinking about missing you.”

His eyes quickly dart away from you. There’s not much time left to act like things are normal. You don’t want to act like things are normal. You want to tell Matty everything, you want to show him every piece of your heart. You want to expose how it beats for him.

Matty sighs heavily, laying on his back to look up at the sky. You do the same – maybe it’ll be easier if you don’t have to face each other. The sheet of clouds is untouched, obstructed only by the occasional bird gliding past. An anomaly within an infinite expanse of nothing. Something about this makes you reach for Matty’s hand. You lace your fingers with his and squeeze. He squeezes back.

He’s still there.

“I just don’t want things to be weird. Or complicated,” you tell him, voice barely above a whisper.

Matty laughs at this. Not a mean laugh, but one of surprise. “You say that like it’s not already complicated.”

You laugh as well, half from your nerves and half from relief. At least he knows. He knows there’s something clearly aching to be said. You start to wonder if it was wrong to wait until it was far too late to tell him. You ask yourself what even constitutes “too late.” You find that you’re not sure. There’s a pause between your laugh and your next words. “What if we don’t see each other again?”

“That won’t happen,” Matty says definitively. He’s still staring straight up, no turning of the head to drink in your image. His words are a half-truth, though, and you can hear it in his voice. He’ll certainly try to come back, to call you, to pay you visits, to give you kisses that clearly run deeper than “just friends.” However, it’s a slim likelihood that this happens. The ever-present hand of time will push you both onwards, stealing Matty from you. You feel this in your heart. You pray that your heart knows nothing.

You’re acutely aware of the increased pressure Matty has on your hand. You sneak a glance over and see that his eyes are shut. You notice that even his eyelashes are pretty, and this sends a pang through your heart. You never want to stop discovering his beauty. The selfish depths of your heart want Matty to remain your own little secret; you never want to share him with the world. This is not where he belongs, though. There is a long stretch of road waiting for him, and, if nothing else, you would still be there with open arms at the end of it.

Matty shuffles his body closer to yours, finally making the dreaded eye contact. No words are exchanged, but you both seem to understand what the other is thinking. You turn on your side and press a kiss to his shoulder. “This could have been so good,” you murmur against his skin.

“I know.”

You allow your lips to linger for a moment. The sky is darkening now. Maybe hours have passed or maybe you were unlucky and got here just moments before sunset. It doesn’t matter, though; you can feel time slipping through your hands, and suddenly you feel like an idiot. There were so many times you almost did it, almost blurted out, “I think I’m in love with you.” The words feel so natural on your tongue when it’s for Matty. It would have been so easy for your mouth to let the sounds slip out. Now you’re here. You never said it, but Matty knows, and the act of actually voicing it is moot.

Matty’s thumb rubs soft circles on your hand, an attempt to ease the pain. His touch burns into your skin. You savor it. Quiet breathing fills your ears, and you let the combination of this and Matty’s skin on yours ease your mind to prevent your next words from becoming stuck in your throat.

Just as your lips part, however, Matty fills the void for you. “I really do love you, you know. I think I love you in every way imaginable, and in all the ways no one has thought of yet.”

A white hot flash of something sears through you – it’s an emotion you can’t put a name to, although it doesn’t particularly need a name. You know what it’s calling you to do. Without much thinking, you adjust your position to gingerly hold yourself above Matty. Ease of access to his lips.

You intertwine yourselves together. It’s terrifying and it’s bliss and you hope it never has to end. This isn’t the first time you’ve kissed him, but it's noticeably different. This time is more tender, and he’s sweeter and softer than you had remembered. Matty’s hands aren’t greedy, either. He holds you to him and his touch roams your body, but he’s gentle. You’re both starving for each other, but you don’t want to miss a single second of this. You need Matty’s lips engraved in yours – something you wouldn't be able to forget, even when he is long gone.

His chest is rising and falling rapidly and you can feel his reluctance as your skin parts from his. Pupils dilated, his forehead comes to rest against yours. Warm breath tickles your nose and the absurdity of it all hits you. You can’t help but giggle. Matty’s expression shifts from serious to puzzled, and then he’s laughing with you. The familiar sound of his laughter helps to soothe your racing heart.

You push yourself into a sitting position now, no longer laying over top of Matty’s body. He does the same, and while your attention is on getting comfortable again, Matty takes the opportunity to catch you off guard. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin up, forcing eye contact before he begins to press kisses to every feature on your face. First your forehead, then your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your chin, up and down your jaw. Your eyes flutter closed and you hum contentedly. There’s a hesitation before he meets your lips again, but you lean into it deeply when he does. You move symbiotically with one another, souls melting into each other. This feeling transcends the human experience. This must be what a supernova feels like, heat pouring out from the center of each body as a final farewell.

Your desire hasn’t been fulfilled to completion when the kiss is broken, but you know this cannot go on forever. “I really do love you too, Matty,” you finally respond. A pause, and then, “And I can’t help but feel guilty for not saying it sooner.”

Matty is quiet for a long time before saying anything else. You almost think he didn’t hear you, until he simply says, “I don’t think we ever needed to say it.”

You furrow your brow at this. “Don’t you wish we could’ve been more than this?”

“I think we would have ended up here anyway. ‘Course I wish things were different, [Y/N]. I would travel to the ends of the earth to find you again. But you’re a smart girl, you know I can’t stay here forever. And I haven’t regretted a single moment of whatever this is.” He gestures vaguely with his hands, unsure of the words to describe what exists between him and you. “D’you know what I mean?”

Once again, you find yourself wanting to be furious. He should be crying, he should be miserable, he should be apologizing for never making this easy. You shake yourself back to reality because you know Matty is right. His words hit you with a certain level-headedness that you hadn’t been ready for. You don’t regret any of this either. Despite it all, he was always there. You suppose that’s all that ever truly mattered; at the very least, it’s what you’ll tell yourself until you believe it. “I know what you mean,” you manage to say.

“Thank you, darling.”

It’s truly getting late now. The night brings an impending sense of doom, regardless of all that has transpired. Silence has fallen over the two of you now; there’s not much left to say, anyway. He told you he can’t stay here forever, and you’re proud of him for it. You make peace with the idea of going home, letting the night draw to a close.

Before you know it, you’re standing with Matty at your parked cars. You cast a glance back at the pond – you’re not sure you’ll come back. Maybe you can when Matty comes back, for old times’ sake. For now, though, you’re faced with the decision of parting words. Of course you’ll see him again tomorrow morning just before he packs up and leaves, but it feels wrong not to say something. Suddenly there’s intense pressure on you; you need to say something monumental, something life-altering that he could never forget. But you don’t. Instead, you leave a chaste kiss on his cheek and say the only words that you can seem to find.

“Don’t be a stranger.”

“I never could be.”

#dont be mean about this one u guys #this fic definitely isnt me projecting #no way def not #matty healy #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #fem!reader #fluff #angst #naomi's writing !#Spotify

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lovewheeler · 2 years

Text

— dear diary...: the worst confession.

back to the beginning (masterlist). / a brief intermission.

a/n: hi! omg we're done with the series...that's crazy...thank you all for being here and i hope you like the conclusion <3. this is kind of a monster n took me a lot of time to write and is also NOT BETA READ OR PROOFREAD so if there's mistakes my bad og. MWAH <3 also we don't find out how the letters are sent out but let's assume it's reader's little sister because i'm not creative enough to figure out sm else

wc: 4.78k

cw: none, just mildly suggestive stuff like twice. no outright smut, mostly toothrotting fluff and angst

summary: coming back to hawkins may have been the worst decision of your life.

This was the worst day of your life.

That title had previously been held by eighth grade picture day, when Michael Wheeler spilled chocolate milk all over your new white dress during breakfast.

Funny how that works.

You were wrong.

As soon as you get out of your mom’s car you’re frowning, the sight of a familiar black impala in the driveway next to yours making your heart heavy. He was home. You hoped he didn’t notice you were too, even if your mom had probably told Karen.

Unpacking your things was even more depressing; countless polaroids lined your walls, ones you’d been adding since you were little. The smiling faces of you, your friends, and your family tug on your heartstrings. You miss when you were younger and the only worry you had was whether Steve Harrington would be at the mall that day or not. You run a hand over them, fingers pausing over the ones dedicated to Max and Mike. Your heart hurts.

After a bit of unpacking and organizing (and a few small mental breakdowns), you decide that maybe a nap would do you good; you were starting to get annoyed by the constant sniffles.

It feels like the second you close your eyes Eleven, Will, and Dustin are bursting through your door, faces flushed and chests heaving like they’d ran here.

“Up, up! Wake up! Wake up, code red–” Dustin’s screaming and your eyes pop open, sitting up in your bed and rubbing at your eyes to try and assess the situation. Once you’re satisfied no one’s dead (which is the only reason they should be waking you up, as far as you’re concerned), you turn your murderous glare towards the curly haired boy, which seems to be the only way that gets him to shut up.

“Sorry,” He smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with an open palm, “It’s just –”

“They found the letters.” El and Will say it in tandem, faces contorted in worry. You notice El’s fiddling with her fingers, something she only does when she’s nervous.

You swear you feel the entire room fall away – you’re launched into space and the world around you goes fuzzy.

You come to again and see your three friends looking over you, infinitely more worried than before. You distantly hear Dustin ask if they need to hide your body and you groan, a hand coming up to hold your now pounding head while the other swats him away from you.

“God, off, please, you’re smothering me –” You sit up slowly, running your hands down your face with a deep sigh. Of course this had to fucking happen now.

You pull one of your stuffed animals to your chest, pulling your knees up and practically curling in on yourself for some type of comfort, “Okay, so – slowly. They what?”

“The letters. They found them. We don’t know how, yet, but –” Will’s panicking more than you are (externally, anyway), his leg bouncing while he speaks.

“They all got them this morning. They asked us if we knew, and –” El spots your suddenly (even more) panicked expression and smiles fondly with a shake of her head, “I’m not mad. Don’t worry. Will explained everything to Dustin and I…”

“We’re so sorry,” It’s Dustin speaking now, his voice genuine. You know it’s bad when even he doesn’t want to make a joke, “But they all want to talk to you. The three of them, anyway.”

You know exactly who he’s talking about immediately. Your head dips down so you can scream into the plush bear. Was it too late to fake your death?

–

After lots of panicking, some yelling, and a bit of awkward clarifications (“Why the hell didn’t I get a letter?” “Dustin, you’ve been dating Suzie since we were like, thirteen.” “Oh. Yeah.”), the familiar sound of your doorbell rings throughout the house and the four of you look at each other like deer caught in headlights.

“Baby, Lucas is here to see you!” Your mom’s voice floats up the stairs and you feel your heart get caught in your throat. Fuck.

“Just – just send him up, mami!” You gulp down the lump in your throat and nod to the others, slowly rising from your bed and making your way towards the door. You let it click closed behind you, leaning back against the frame to take a deep breath. You can do this.

You smile as you watch Lucas ascend the stairs, handsome as always. He’s always been the one out of all of you with the most style and it shows, varsity jacket hanging around his shoulders and the coolest sneakers to match. You get why fourteen year old you had such a big crush on him.

“You’re back!” Is all Lucas can say once he gets to the landing, arms shooting out to wrap around you and bring you into one of the most suffocating bear hugs you’ve ever experienced. It’s the best feeling in the world.

You relax almost instantly, arms looping around him to hold him close, head resting on his shoulder. “I’m back,” You say through a laugh, tears brimming your eyes. You really missed him; he’d been the one to keep you sane for nearly four years, and a bond like that isn’t easily forgotten just by going to different schools.

You pull back and then you’re both silent for a few seconds; it feels like an eternity. You keep your head to the ground, too scared to look him in the eyes, and his hands are shoved into his jacket pockets – you’re both the picture of an awkward conversation.

But then you hear him laugh and you tilt your head up to look at him, eyebrows furrowed together.

“You feel butterflies in your tummy when I smile? Really?”

Your hands shoot up to cover your face, shaking your head in embarrassment and scrunching your nose, “God, really? I was fourteen! When you’re fourteen you’re always overdramatic!” Despite your words, you’re laughing, a full belly laugh that shakes your shoulders and makes your eyes crinkle up at the edges.

Lucas only chuckles with you, pulling you in for another hug and letting his head rest on top of yours. For a second, it’s just that – a comfortable silence, only pierced by periodic laughs.

He pulls away but keeps his hands on your shoulders, making sure you look up at him, “We’re okay, yeah? Promise. And – Max doesn’t care either. She’s got her own shit to sort out, but…” You know what’s coming next and you cringe. Shit.

“Talk to her soon, yeah? She’s home right now…” The boy trails off, averting his eyes for a second before turning back to you, face suddenly serious, “I’m not mad either. She wouldn’t tell any of us what the letter said, but it’s not really hard to figure out…I love you, yeah? Always.”

You smile, though this time it’s tinged with sadness. You didn’t think you were ever prepared to deal with this. You wished you’d had the choice of when to do so.

But you nod, trying to give him some form of reassurance even as the pit in your stomach grows, “Mhm – I love you too, Luc. Always.”

“Oh thank god–”

You hear a collective sigh from behind your door and roll your eyes. Lucas eyes you with a raised brow and you shake your head, pushing the door open and hearing the three behind it yell out various versions of ‘ow’.

“Nosy,” You chide, though your smile is fond, motioning towards Lucas to come into the room, “C’mon. I need a good pep talk if I’m ever stepping out of this damn house.”

—

You ended up requiring a bribe to leave your room – it came in the form of a strawberry milkshake Dustin made Lucas go get for you (after a lot of arguing as to why Dustin couldn’t drive yet).

The car ride to Max’s was mostly quiet. You told them that they could just wait outside for a bit, not wanting Max to think you brought all of them to listen; in reality, they were your only ride if things went south – which the knot in your stomach kept telling you they would.

You step out of the car with a heavy heart, ducking your head back in to address your friends, “If I'm not back in fifteen, assume I’ve killed myself and come get me. Thanks.”

The gravel road crunches under your sneakers as you make your way towards Max’s trailer, hands shoved in your jacket pockets and breath so shaky you can hear it. Once you finally reach her door you take a deep breath, slowly bringing your fist up to knock on the door. You can do this, you can do thi–

The door falls away from your hand and swings open. You jump back with a yelp, eyes widening and body tensing up.

“Sorry –” You’re met with a mess of red hair and a light smile, big blue eyes watching you in amusement, “You were taking really long. I heard you guys pull up – I’m not deaf, you know. Didn’t mean to scare you, though.”

Max pauses. Waits for you to laugh and tell her she’s fine. Realizes you’re not going to.

“Um –” She steps away from the door, motioning for you to come in, “Come in. Just – head to my room. Mom’s not home.”

You nod, gulping down the lump in your throat and walking towards your room looking like you’ve got your tail tucked between your legs. Unbeknownst to you she flips the car off, unable to stop the smile that curves her lips at the offended glares she gets back.

You perch yourself on the edge of her bed, entirely unlike the way you used to just plop down on it after school. You kick your legs out in an effort to distract yourself, hands kept neatly in your lap. Much too proper for Max’s taste. She eyes you from her place against her dresser, frowning slightly.

“Hey – who are you and where’s my best friend?” Her words come out playful – trying to be, anyway, but it just makes you realize how shitty the situation is, “Let her out for a bit, please? College couldn’t have changed you that much.”

You sigh, eyes flicking up to meet hers with a sad smile, “Hi, Maxie.”

“There she is,” The redhead can’t help but grin, pushing herself off of her dresser to sit next to you on the bed. She knocks her shoulder against yours, “I missed you, y’know. You didn’t even come back for Christmas. You love Christmas. And I didn’t know why, but after reading the letter…” It seems she has to steel herself before speaking, “It wasn’t ‘cause of me, right?”

Your eyebrows immediately scrunch together and you shake your head vigorously, eyes widening, “No! No – god, no, Maxie, it wasn’t you. It could never be you –” You grab her hands in yours, marveling at how soft they are and trying to put on a reassuring smile, “I promise, okay? I just … needed to be away. This place smothers me.”

She nods, and then a silence falls over the room. You’re both staring at your shoes, wondering where to go from here. The contents of the letter hangs over the both of you like an uncomfortably weighted blanket.

“Frisco’s really nice during Christmas, you know–” It’s a way to bring it up without bringing it up, “I’m glad I chose the university there…you’d really like it.”

“I’m sure I would –” You don’t look at her but you can hear the smile in her voice, “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but – for what it’s worth, nothing you felt was…wrong. I felt the same. I was just scared, and – you know I hate being scared.”

Your head actually does lift up this time, looking at her in disbelief. You’re so angry at the hope that stabs through your heart you almost shut down again.

But you can’t keep running away from this.

“You did?”

“Mhm, I did,” Max meets your eyes, nodding. Her smile is sad and her eyes are watery. Your heart hurts – Max never cries, “I think that’s why I told you first. You’re the only one I felt comfortable enough with…but then you left, and I really only had Will to relate to.”

“I’m so–”

“Shhh,” She shakes her head, finger pressed against your lips. It surprises you enough that you actually listen, “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? We were kids. And I’m gonna keep that letter forever, just so you know – it’s special to me. And nothing’s gonna take that away.”

You feel hot tears stream down your face. You hadn’t even realized they were forming.

“I wanna give you something, okay? As a welcome back gift. Maybe a bit of closure.”

You’re confused, but you nod, stock still while you wait for her to go grab whatever gift it was, expecting to see a bag or something.

But then you feel her soft hands cup your face, cold skin cooling your burning cheeks. She’s pulling you closer; your eyes go wide and you try to move back.

“B-but – Maxie, Lucas –”

She laughs again, and the furrow of your brows only gets deeper. What the hell was happening?

“He said I could do this. He figured it would help us both…accept ourselves, or something. I don’t know. He’s oddly supportive,” Max shrugs, the picture of nonchalance, but her hands on your cheeks are shaking. She’s scared, “We – we don’t have to. I just thought you might want–”

“Do it, Maxie–” Your voice is soft, barely above a whisper, “Kiss me. Please.”

She surges forward, your confirmation all she needs to press her lips to yours. It’s soft, but there’s so much passion behind it – years of pent up feelings bubbling back to the surface. It’s everything you ever thought it would be and more, your body immediately melting into hers. Your hands steady themselves on her waist, trying to hold you up. You swear you could faint.

It takes a bit before she pulls away – there’s no tongue and no touching, but it somehow feels more intimate, just your lips moving together and trying to say everything you both never could. When she pulls away you’re both breathing heavily, and your eyes are glassy. You feel dizzy.

You both stare at each other for a second, smiling like maniacs. And then you start laughing, girlish giggles similar to the ones you shared when you used to talk about boys with El. The weight on your shoulders gets just a bit lighter.

“Better?” She asks between laughs.

“Much.” You nod, lunging forward to tackle her in a hug. You’d missed her so much.

“Aye, tiger, be careful –” Max giggles, fiery hair splayed out on the sheets behind her. She looks so pretty, you think, but the heartache is gone. It’s just wistfulness, now. A bittersweet feeling.

She looks at you with raised eyebrows and a wide smile, “You wanna sleep over?”

You nod eagerly, toothy grin matching hers. You guys stay there for a second, hugging and cuddling like old times. It feels like you’re a little high schooler again.

“Did she kill herse– woah, jesus – when I said you guys could kiss, I didn't mean to go this far!” Lucas’s voice pierces the silence and you immediately roll off of Max, shaking your head.

“We’re clothed! Oh my god, we’re clothed–”

“...You told them they could kiss?” Dustin’s voice is laced with judgment, matched by Eleven and Will’s scrunched up faces.

“Oh my god, yes, Dustin, I’m a supportive boyfriend –” Lucas shoots back, removing his hand from covering his eyes, “God. Don’t scare me like that again, I almost regretted it–”

The four of them stop, then, taking the two of you in. Your smiling faces and glinting eyes.

“All good?” El asks, silently cheering inside that she has her best friends back.

“All good.” You and Max say it at the same time, nodding – before turning to each other and laughing, “Jinx.”

“Good.” Will says, clasping his hands together – that was two out of three, and you probably wouldn’t even have to deal with the third until tomo–

“Hello? Hellooooo?” The static voice of Michael Wheeler sounds through the old walkie on Max’s desk and you swear your heart drops into your ass. Fuck.

You all look at each other with panicked eyes, mouths agape.

“Earth to Max’s house. Look, you don’t have to answer, but – tell y/n to come talk to me? I know you’re all there, I asked her mom. Mike, over and out.”

“God, why does he still say that?” Max shakes her head, a look of disgust on her face.

“No clue – it’s stupid, right? I keep telling him it’s stupid,” Will shrugs, matching Max’s face.

They all look at you, then, and another silence falls over the room. This time it’s filled with dread, and you’re reminded of the remaining weight pushing you down.

Max looks at you with a soft, sad smile, her hand on your shoulder; you feel El’s smaller one on the other side.

“Guess no sleepover today.” You sigh, clasping your hands together before putting on a fake upbeat tone, “I’m gonna need another milkshake to get through it. Ice cream, anyone?”

—------

The five of you pull up to your house sipping milkshakes, your own already half done. Anxiety sipping.

You notice Mike’s impala isn’t in the driveway and your shoulders collapse in an odd sense of relief. Maybe you would be able to wait until tomorrow. At least then you could prepare.

“Want us to wait?” Max asks, expression concerned.

You shake your head, offering up a smile to your friends – it’s the opposite of reassuring, but they know you’re trying, “M’good. I’ll call you guys in the morning, yeah? Be by the phone.”

They all nod; your legs feel like lead when you get out of the car. They wait until you get in the door to drive away, and you watch them leave, processing how for the first time since all of this happened, you’re alone. Well and truly.

There’s a note on your bed from your mom when you get in your room: ‘Mike was over. Why haven’t you talked to him? Your dad and I are going to the casino tonight, so don’t wait up. We might not be home. Please don’t shut yourself in your room, okay? We love you. – Mom.’

You sigh, setting the note on your bedside table and plopping yourself down on your bed with an ‘oof’. You hate when she’s right.

You have about ten seconds of peace before you start hearing tapping at your window – it’s inconsistent and it sounds like hail. You know what it is immediately.

You walk over, parting your pink curtains and shoving your window up, narrowly dodging a rock in the process, “You know you’re supposed to stop when you see me at the window, right?”

“I didn’t see you!” The dark haired boy below you is whisper-yelling, looking at the handful of rocks in his hand before dropping it in embarrassment, “I thought I’d have to bring the boombox out or something, you’ve been ignori–”

“I’m not ignoring you!” You lie, irritation lacing your voice, “Just – come in, okay? I’ll go down and let you in, you’re going to get a co–”

Mike nods, already getting ready to scale the ladder at the side of your window before he registers you’ve stopped talking, looking down with a raised brow. He looks up with scrunched features, shaking his hair out of his face, “What?”

“They’re not home, stupid. Come through the front door.” You shake your head, shoving your windowsill down and closing your curtains again.

Shit, shit, shit.

It’s all you can think while you walk downstairs, taking two steps at a time before swinging open the front door. You’re greeted by the sight of Mike Wheeler, all lanky limbs and dumb doe eyes. You want to hit him.

“You weren’t supposed to be home.” You start, frowning.

“Wha–”

“Your car. It wasn’t in the driveway.”

“It’s in the garage. I figured you’d run if you saw it.”

God. You hate how well he knows you.

“Well – come in. The bugs are going to eat you alive out there.”

You step away from the door, gesturing for him to walk in. You’re already walking up to your room when you realize he isn’t moving, turning, “Are you going to follow me or not?”

“Oh, ri – yeah, yeah, cool –” He’s nearly tripping over himself to catch up to you, following you up the stairs like a lost puppy.

You settle yourself on the edge of your bed, feet kicking while you wait for him to figure out where he’s gonna go. Mike decides on your desk chair, gingerly picking up the stuffed animal that had been perched on it and holding it close in his lap. He knew better than to be mean to them.

“So –” You begin, hoping that if you act dumb this would be easier, “What did you need to talk to me about? Is it because I wasn’t answering your letters? I was just bus–”

“It’s about a letter, yeah, but you know it’s not about those ones,” Mike shoots back quickly, eyebrows raised in a knowing look. It shuts you up, gives him a bit more confidence to say what he does next.

“You’re in love with me?”

You have to breathe deeply. This sucks. You’d hidden it for years and it had to come out like this? You feel hot embarrassment flush your body and you try to deny it at first.

“I wrote that over a year ago–”

“And then you left and didn’t talk to me for that next year, so consider us back right where we left off. Are you in love with me, y/n?”

You contemplate lying. Or jumping out of the window and killing yourself. Both sound lovely right now.

But then you look up and meet his gaze – it’s one of a desperate man whose entire world seems to have fallen apart in the last week. One who needs reassurance.

And just like that, you feel yourself fold. You never were good at hiding things from him.

So you nod, the tears you thought you weren’t hydrated enough to produce welling up in your eyes, falling down into your lap.

“I–I am, Mikey. Always have been, you read it–” You sniffle, a sorrowful smile on your face. You don’t think you’ve ever been this embarrassed in your life.

“I–”

“Don’t. Please? Don’t try and let me down easy, or something, or say ‘it’s not you, it’s me’, just – just forget it? We can move on like it never happened, I swear–”

“Jesus, let me talk, will you?” He strides towards you in what seems like a flash, big hands cupping your cheeks and gently pulling your head up to meet his eyes, “You never let me talk.”

You nod, trying not to meet his gaze. Every time you blink another tear falls against his skin and you mumble a sorry, but then he’s shushing you, thumbs wiping at your tears.

“You look pretty when you cry,” Mike murmurs it under his breath but it’s loud enough for you to hear, and your teary eyes go wide for what feels like the twentieth time today. Pretty?

“You’re so dumb,” He continues, shaking his head and chuckling a bit while he pushes a strand of hair from your forehead. His voice is so soft, his touch so gentle. You feel yourself nuzzle your head into his hand, leaning into his touch. It’s addictive.

“I love you too,” It’s those words that make your breath hitch. You feel like you’re having a heart attack, your heart beating out of your chest and your stomach doing somersaults. He loves you too?

“And I wish you would have told me sooner. By the time El came around I figured you didn’t like me – don’t look at me like that, I was twelve,” He rolls his eyes, knowing that even if you aren’t talking you’d figure out a way to judge him somehow, “And then by the time we broke up, you were gone…they’d taken you. That’s how I saw it, anyway–”

He sighs, pulling you closer so your head is resting against his stomach, lean muscle underneath more comforting than you remember. His hands rub circles and trace shapes into your shoulders, your back, remembering how much it used to soothe you.

“And then when I finally realized that maybe I should get off my ass and do something, you were gone.”

Mike pauses, laughing almost bitterly to himself, “Wanna know a secret?”

When you nod against him he smiles to himself, “I figured it out that night, too. In my room. When I said you were my number one girl I wasn’t lying – haven’t even looked at anyone since then. Everyone else just started to look like you. – Look at me, please?”

You pull back, eyes glossy with tears, puffy and red. One of his thumbs strokes your cheek, his own voice sounding choked up, “There she is. You’re so pretty…god, we lost a lot of time, didn’t we?”

You continue looking up at him and he laughs, this time paired with a shake of his head, “You can talk now, nerd.”

“Finally, God, that was the worst – don’t you know not letting me talk is t-torture?” You glare up at him through your tears, bottom lip jutted out in a pout. He thinks it’s the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

“Can –” You hiccup, sniffle a little, “Can you kiss me now? If I have to go through any more embarrassing confessions today, I’m going to pass out from emotional exhaustion. I just wanna skip to where we’re happy and you’re my boyfriend.”

Mike rolls his eyes at you but nods, unable to stop the grin on his features, “We can do that. One question, though –”

You tilt your head in confusion, brow raised but still encouraging him to continue.

“My big doe eyes? My big hands? My shaggy hair? You were kinda whipped, huh?”

“Oh my god, shut up shut up, if you don’t kiss me in two seconds I’m going to punch y–”

And then you feel the soft press of slightly chapped lips against you. You taste the cotton candy chapstick he’d never stopped buying after you gave one to him when you were twelve. You finally understand what movies and books mean when they say fireworks went off after a kiss. Everything feels right, and Mike’s tongue sliding against yours feels like the most natural thing in the world. The way you both inch up the bed until he’s hovering above you feels like it was meant to happen, and the way you press your noses together and giggle feels long overdue. That weight on your shoulders falls away completely.

It’s perfect.

–

“Virgin still? Blink once for yes and twice for no,” Your hand shoots out to smack Dustin’s cap off of his head, rolling your eyes when he shouts ‘hey! No violence!’.

“None of your business, Henderson – what me and my boyfriend do is confidential.” Your words are met with a groan from the rest of the group – except for El and Will, who only give you happy smiles. They haven’t seen you this happy in a long time. You hadn’t stopped referring to Mike as your boyfriend for the entire day, too high on the adrenaline of finally being able to call him yours (and being newly deflowered).

You hadn’t had a movie night with your friends in the Wheeler’s basement in a long, long time. You’re mad at yourself for thinking you hadn’t missed it.

“He might be your boyfriend, but does he have great hair and really big muscles?” Steve interjects, flexing his arm and letting his hand squeeze the muscle that bulges out.

“Oh, or really pretty blue eyes?” Nancy smirks, eyebrows raised.

“But is he, like, the total package? Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids?” Jonathan grins while he walks down the stairs, his arm draping over Nancy’s shoulders easily.

Your hands shoot up to cover your face and you curl up into Mike’s side, shaking your head fervently and squealing, “Stop it! Oh my god, you guys suck, I was a baby! Those don’t count!”

The sounds of breathless laughter fills the room and you peek through your fingers to look at all of your friends, for once feeling like you don’t have to run away from them. Like maybe you could stay a while.

✧･ﾟ — taglist (thank you for being here!): @dilflover3333 @bbymochi1 @amourrs @fentibeauty @moonylantsovs @sage111222 @ronaldiary @thel0v3hashira143 @livieweasley @larryrickardlover @littletroublegirl444 @fairyqueenxx007 @maxmayfieldsrealgf1986 @southernvamp @cybergiirl @softpia @the-great-himbo @honeydotc0m @honey-with-tea @sl0thsblog @stiles-stark @thecraziestcrayon @all-for-kpop @universce @73vyn @matthiashelvarsgf @ch4ot1ccoff1n @luv4mike @ihyperfixatetoomuch @queenelizabethsleftnipple @emilymay07

#mike wheeler x reader #mike wheeler imagine #mike wheeler x you #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #max mayfield x fem!reader #max mayfield x reader #dd.

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burst-of-iridescent · 1 year

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“But we were something, don’t you think so? Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool. And if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you…”

- The 1, Taylor Swift

Katara is still waiting for an answer.

Zuko clears his throat and gives it back to her, forcing a smile that feels too-empty, like a painted curve on a hollow mask. Katara doesn’t seem to notice, though. She’s grinning at Zuko, and though more than a decade has passed since they were children laughing in the courtyard of an abandoned summer home, her smile has never lost its joyous, youthful exuberance.

“It looks great.” The words burn on the way out, like lava pouring down his throat. “He’ll love it.”

Her nose wrinkles as she looks down at it. “It’s not how it’s traditionally done, though, a woman giving it to the man-”

“When have you ever cared about tradition?”

Katara laughs, bright and cheerful and just a little mischievous, and Zuko once again thinks of the girl on an Ember Island beach, infinite hope and possibility shining in her eyes. The wishes they had sparked within him in turn, the longing he had nestled into his heart and carried with him every day of his life since, the miracle he should’ve known would be too much to ask for.

“He’ll love it, Katara,” Zuko assures her, and hopes she can’t hear the agony in his voice. “He’ll love anything you give him. He worships you.”

Something flickers across her face then, something that doesn’t entirely match the cheery topaz of the stone that glimmers between her fingers. It’s gone before he can catch it though, wiped away by a tender fondness that makes her face light up.

In the soft light of the moon, she looks so beautiful that it takes everything he has not to fall to his knees and beg her to stay.

Foolish boy, his father’s blood whispers to him, and the edges of his blackened, bitter heart curl up and shrivel like the withered leaves of a dying plant. She loves the Avatar. What could you possibly have to offer, in comparison?

“You really think so?” Katara asks.

Zuko clears his throat. “I know so.”

Katara beams impossibly bright, and then her slender arms are around his neck and her body is pressed against his.

He returns it without hesitation, even though his spiked shoulder plates wedge between them and his robes are drowning him and something in the core of his heart feels like it’s cracking open, splintering, cleaving him apart from the inside out.

He clings to her fiercely, through the damage that even her healing hands will never be able to fix, breathes in the lavender scent of her hair and tries to memorize the precise feel of her in his arms. This is all he will ever have, all that remains to him: a few small pieces of her to tide him through the long, lonely years to come.

She pulls back, and for a second - just a second - he thinks her eyes glimmer, a wet shine that belongs to something other than starlight. But then she blinks and it’s gone, replaced by the perfect picture of incandescent happiness, and he’s left with only the hazy sheen of hopeless wanting, a delusion borne of his own desperate imagination.

Katara’s eyes search his face. “You’ll come, won’t you?” she asks. “Aang will want you there.”

“Of course,” Zuko says, and the next words taste like rust and salt on his tongue. “I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world.”

He holds it together that night, and the next morning, through the end of the peace summit, through seeing every one of his friends off. He holds it together as he walks numbly through the courtyard where he bled and burned for her, through the rooms she once filled with warmth, to the study he now occupies alone. He holds it together until he finds the bundle of letters at the furthest corner of his desk drawer, dusty now after so many years in the dark, and unfurls the most yellowed and crumpled of them all.

He spends the night on the floor, amidst the ruins of his heart and the letters strewn like autumn leaves around him, and watches each of them go up in smoke.

Katara marries Aang amidst stone and silence, in the way of the Air Nomads, wind whistling through the temple around them. It is only Zuko’s head that reverberates with noise, singing the discordant lullaby of words long since turned to ash.

(Katara, the letter begins, in the eager hand of a 16-year-old boy who has not yet learned how to give up dreaming.

I think I’m in love with you…)

#zutara #zutara fanfiction #haven’t committed angst crimes in a while #CILLA DNI

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sofie-toffy · 9 months

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SatoSugu angst!

Satoru x Suguru angst fanfic

This is basically the ending of the jjk0 movie but in gojo’s pov + with a little prediction of what gojo said to geto. This is a little inspired by the song “Snow” by Ricky Montgomery…I recommend listening to it while reading this! This is one of my first few fanfics so I’d like some feedback and thoughts :)

This fic doesn’t completely confirm satosugu as a romantic relationship but I think I wrote some implications pretty well

Contains spoilers!!

“Satoru…” Geto’s voice was stifled, yet he still spoke of gojo’s name with such gentleness

Do you have any last words, suguru? Satoru asks, his throat weak and suffocating, so desperately wanting to cry out, to cling on to him, wanting everything back the way it was. He wants to heal him, place a reverse curse technique and stop him from taking his last moments. But alas, he couldn’t, he can’t. Not when he’s the enemy. Not when they’re opposite sides of the same coin. Not when he threatens to harm his students. But he loves him so much…he misses him so much…

He spent the past decade trying to ignore him, but now he has no choice but to watch him leave. Witness as death separates him..now there really is no chance of meeting him, or saying a simple hello…yet he has so much to say for the achingly long time he spent alone.

It’s been about more than a decade since they separated…yet it felt like just yesterday. Almost every night, gojo dreams of geto, reminiscing the days where things weren’t complicated…where it was just laughter and careless banter…and he wakes up and realizes the reality, and that everything happened in such a short amount of time. His best friend left him with little explanation. He had to go through his high school days, graduating without his closest friend. He spends every day wondering what went wrong…how could he have messed up? He’s known as the strongest sorcerer and yet he couldn’t save the person he loved most. Geto was one of the very few people who saw Satoru as Satoru…not the most powerful sorcerer, not some renowned superior, but as Satoru…as a friend, as a person. He wishes that he could turn back time, help his best friend when he needed it most. He so much begs to trade all his renowned power to change everything, to spend more time with his one and only, to laugh carelessly as they so easily used to.

But he snaps out of his thoughts, and turns back to the present moment. And here they are, wasting their chances for the last time, having so many words unspoken.

“No matter what others say, I hate those monkeys..but I never held any hatred for those in jujutsu high school…I just couldn’t wear a heartfelt smile in this world..”Geto chuckles weakly, his eyes tired

Gojo walks closer, sitting near him. He opens his mouth, trying so desperately to say something…there was so much to say yet so little time..his throat stuck, eyes burning with neglected tears. He decides to say something, not wasting this moment, not when they were to separate permanently.

“Thank you.”

He speaks out, voice deep yet cracking. With all that happened, all the words and sentences he could’ve ranted, he said just 2 words. He didn’t regret it though, no not at all. He’s always wanted to say thank you to Geto, he couldn’t even say a proper goodbye after they separated after all.

“At least curse me a little at the end…”

Geto’s eyes widen, soft tears falling on his scarred face. He really did love Geto. He didn’t want to separate from him, but he did what he had to protect him. His lips weakly curled up into a smile, his eyes showing infinite gratitude before he takes his last breath.

I made a quick sketch based on the fanfic :D I wanted to draw in a style that reminded me of manga (im crying sm rn)

#Spotify #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen suguru #jjk suguru #jjk spoilers #jjk geto #jjk gojo #angst #jjk angst #gojo saturo #satosugu #satoru x suguru #satosugu angst #satosugu fic #fanfic

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seokmatthewz · 1 year

Photo

thank you so much for following my silly little blog!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

to put it lightly, this has been a very difficult year for me, so i am extremely grateful that making gifs of my favourite kpop boys has offered me a bit of an escape when i need to just think about something else! i really never thought i’d reach this milestone, especially not by the end of this year (though just by a hair), and i am so so so deeply grateful to all of you for seeing my little clown blog and deciding it was worth a follow!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ i am so so overjoyed every time i get a sweet comment on my gifs in the tags, or a cute ask (though i am abysmally bad about answering them at times), and i am especially thankful for my dear friends and mutuals, who i have tagged below the cut! thank you for making my 2022 bearable, and at times absolutely wonderful. i am wishing all of you nothing but the best in the new year, mwah!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

love, ur (maybe) favourite woosanjonggi stan, irida!

if there’s a lil ✧ next to your name i’ve written you a lil note below! thank you for all the beautiful content you make!! your presences brighten up my dash immeasurably!! love u all sm, even if we have never spoken (which is likely because i’m horrific at speaking). mwah!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ (also i apologize if i’ve just randomly tagged u and we arent mutuals but that is a hazard of the trade i suppose FKDLSKL) also i am so so so sorry if i missed anyone!! i am stupid you see

# - g

@20cm, @97chwe, @98linerz, @aethalen, @anyhao, @ashisland, @berryjaellie ✧, @blueberrysan, @carrotscake, @charmerz, @chenleyah, @chwejongho ✧, @cruellajoong, @dazzlingkai, @dejawoos

h - j

@halahala, @himeaegyo, @hongjooong, @hoyounq ✧, @hueningkai, @hwanswerland, @hwanwooyoung, @hwarizon, @jaeyunsim, @jeong-yunhoes, @jeonwonwoo, @jjongho, @jonghho, @jongupseyeliner, @junjunies

k - v

@kdongyoung, @kimsmingyu, @kingleedo, @kyungsoosus, @loserline, @lovehui, @minhees, @minzbins, @ortali, @renjvn, @sanchelinz ✧, @sanhwaiting, @secnghwa, @seonghwaminho, @starhwaz, @strhwaberries

w - z

@wabisaba, @wonwooridul, @woodzm, @wookjinz ✧, @wrender ✧, @wriggleygutz ✧, @xuseokgyu, @yuvho ✧

─── ･｡ﾟ✧: *.☽ .* ✧. ｡ﾟ･ ───

millie

my dearest fairy friend!!! my wonderful beloved favourite reaction youtuber!! millie my dearest i love u sm!!! it is always a joy to come on here and sometimes be greeted with a silly little hello post that both makes me feel overjoyed and mildly threatened and i wouldnt change it for the world!! thank you for putting up with my whims and my nonsense and for watching things i beg you to watch for me KLFDSKL you are so so kind and sweet and funny despite ur penchant for slandering me and ur taste that baffles me at times. i love u sm and i hope the coming year is fantastic and that you get to eat lots of delicious food and treats!! i adore u madam mwah!!

kaz

kaz there is not much i could put here that i haven’t already told you like 8000 times in our dms but i really do love u so dearly. i am so so happy that we were both on this stupid site at the same time so our paths were able to cross and so that we could evolve into the best friends we are today. as you have said before, our souls are always holding hands. i know this year has not been good for you, and i am always wishing you and your family well, as they (especially your mom) have become very dear to me as well. here’s to many more years of being each other’s personal circus clowns, and making fun of pretty men in our twitter dms. i could not ask for a better friend than you, and i cannot overstate how much you mean to me!! love you so so so much, and i hope this year is infinitely better!!

han

han idk if you’ll see this in any sort of remotely prompt time frame but it would feel wrong to leave you out of this fkdklfds thank you so much for letting me dm you about rtk all those years ago because if we hadn’t connected then i think i would still be vaguely afraid of you and i would not have gotten the opportunity to know you and have you become one of my best friends. i am so grateful that you make time to talk to me basically every single day even though i know you’re busy being a (future) rich icon!! i love you so so much and i cannot wait for you to finally come here so we can do all the silly things on our silly han in canada bucket list. i am so excited to spend this new year watching even more silly things and torturing you with beomgyu fancams when the comeback happens. i love you so much, and hope your 2023 is perfect!

luna

luna dearest!! ik we don’t really talk outside of the occasional ask or tag clownery but i just wanted to say i appreciate those little interactions a lot!! you are always so fun to have a silly little “fight” with, and you put out so much beautiful content!! i hope this year goes very well for you, ily, mwah!!

paula

my mortal enemy, my worstie, my fucked up little meow meow, paula i think we have like the most unhinged inside jokes of all time. i will take this brief moment of. truce? to thank you for letting me incessantly irritate you in our dms about cowboy junji or limji love killa or any unhinged ooo related nonsense i can think of. we are truly the ones who should be in charge of their concept and i will stand by this forever because 8d doesnt know what theyre doing. i hope we can continue to be worsties for the coming year. 2023 kyujung divorce era! FDKLDFKS

wren

i have to include u in these every time i make them bc u and max are my longest standing mutuals and i always have to give my yearly apology for putting all sorts of random ass men on your dash constantly FKDSKL wren i love you so dearly i cannot explain how wonderful it was to see you and i hope that we can see each other some more next time i am back in the city. you are so funny and kind and great and i am so happy that we continue to be friends even though we do not see each other that much. i hope we can continue to sporadically interact, and have to mention that nct released a song i think is worse than sticker called 2baddies and i dont care if you listen to it but it needs to be said because i forgot to say it yesterday and remembered today FKLDSKLD i love you so much and i hope 2023 brings you only good things MWAH!!

max

max dearest!! just like with wren i have to include you in these whenever i make them both as an apology but as an acknowledgement of you as one of my oldest tumblr mutuals. i am deeply horrific at communicating, especially over text, and i am always so glad when i get to see you in person, however infrequent that may be. it is so nice that we can always pick up where we left off no matter how much time has passed. i love you very dearly, and really hope we can make that eurovision finale party a reality because it would be such a good time to clown around with my favourite fellow european-canadian friend!! i love you and wish you all the best in the new year!!

nil

my dear historical wifey!!! i cannot explain how amazing it has been getting to know you even more over the course of this year. i cannot believe we got to see ateez together, and there is nobody i would’ve rather gone with than you! thank you for always being kind to me, and listening to me ramble both in person and over text at times. i am so so happy that we ended up living in the same city, and even more happy that we were compatible as irl friends!! i hope we can see even more of each other in the future, and that we can go see ateez all over again when they come back!! please wish your family a happy new year from me!! i love you so much and hope your 2023 is fantastic because you deserve it!!

#THANK U SO SO SO MUCH AND HAPPY NEW YEAR #i really am so grateful for the friends ive made on here and just for any one who ive interacted with in passing even #mutuals i love u all sm!! smooching ur foreheads in spirit i really do hope 2023 is so kind to each and every one of u #and to all my dear followers as well #thank you so so so very much #also sorry 2 hwa he is kinda covered and i feel bad but this was clearly rushed KFLDSKL #ANYWAYS i hope everyone has a great 2023 and thank you again for this absolutely insane milestone KFDSKL #love u all so so much!!!!!!!!!!!#iri.txt #milestone

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