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intrepidacious · 2 years

Text

lavender's blue

summary: If there was one thing Jefferson could always rely upon, it was that you didn’t much care for sense.

pairing: jefferson x f!reader

word count: 6.4k

warnings: canon-typical angst?, reader with unspecified magical abilities, reader is alice-in-wonderland-appropriately weird y'all (affectionate); kind of open-ended but in a hopeful bc canon-compliant way <3

please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: i started this as a submission for @sparkledfirecracker's cheesy writing fest challenge, but it didn't turn out very cheesy or even remotely on time. still, thank you for the wonderful prompts your wheels of fate gave me, and congrats on your follower milestone 💛

prompts used: jefferson + friends to lovers + forehead kisses

masterlist | read on ao3

What Regina couldn’t have anticipated, what no one ever could have, really, was that you had always been unpredictable. A loose end. A ticking time bomb. An unlocked door.

It was a curse in and of itself, most of the time, albeit one with a lowercase c. You’d always craved a normal life, but that didn’t mesh too well with your impulsiveness. Normalcy craved planning, devising, executing, in that order, precise decisions and arrangements that weren’t to be changed at a whim.

You were as wild as a flower in spring.

It was what Jefferson liked most about you when you first met, back when he was still jumping worlds like one of them would give him an answer. Instead, he found you, back in the Enchanted Forest you both called home, on a day that had started out like any other.

You were smack dab in the center of the meadow the hat spat him out on, and you were spinning around yourself until, he supposed, your skirts finally circled just so, and then landing on your back, laughing. Your feet were bare and dirty from stamping the ground like you were proving a point.

When he stepped closer, you propped yourself up on your elbows and blinked up at him with a grin. The sun cast his shadow in such a way that his head seemed to touch your heart. Jefferson noticed that, even then.

"Is there a reason you’re trampling on the dandelions?" he asked.

"Some people don’t deserve a wish," you simply said.

He couldn’t argue with that.

"And what about you?" he said instead.

"Well," you mused, closing your eyes, the tilt of your lips unwavering. "I think I already got my wish for the day."

"And what was that?"

There was magic brimming within you, and a lot of it. It made Jefferson’s hands shake and the hat cough out trails of smoke, even though it didn’t need to go anywhere, but you … you didn’t even seem to notice.

"Something blue," you answered.

Curiouser and curiouser, just like your smile. That was the thing that kept him distracted long enough for you to anticipate his next question, to point, still without looking, back at the hat and the purplish haze it had wrapped itself in.

"Lavender’s blue, dilly-dilly," you continued before he could voice his confusion. "I mean, I wanted flowers. But I suppose one doesn’t argue with chance, don’t you think?"

There was an almost dangerous glint in your eye when you faced him again, and that settled it.

"Why not?" he asked, and held out his hand.

You stared at it in amusement. "Are you in the habit of challenging fate, stranger?"

"Only if I know I can win," he said. "And the name’s Jefferson."

You took his hand, then, and he could never be sure if it was meant as an introduction or a leap of faith. It didn’t matter, really, when it ended up being both. When he’d pulled you to your feet, there was a small bottle in his palm, its contents glittering like liquid stardust.

He blinked.

"You can keep that if you want," you said, turning your skirt pockets out and carelessly dropping the rest of their contents on the ground. "It’s all too heavy."

Jefferson watched as you plucked a single dandelion and shook it until the wind did the wishing part for you. Then you turned without another glance at him and walked away humming, your magic patting the hat like a pet and then vanishing with you.

He’d spend weeks thinking about you simply handing him the very potion he’d intended to steal, and he still couldn’t figure out how you’d even known.

***

In this life, there are several things you know.

You know you’re a florist. You know you’re well liked, which is nice and feels new, even though you’ve lived here all your life. You know your hands can fabricate the most splendid arrangements, bouquets and wreaths in all the colors Maine has to offer, and most days, you know you’re perfectly content doing just that.

Other days, though, you know you want to see every single petal turned to ashes.

Because you also know this voice deep inside your bones, not quite your own but almost, too familiar with your habits and routines and endless, endless smalltalk. You know it keeps telling you that something is missing, something you might find again if only you set this whole damn place aflame.

So you think, what’s the harm.

And as the flames lick at your window settings and burn the roses to a crisp, you tilt your head slowly and something inside stirs, like a sleeping dragon twitching as it wakes. You realize then, that in between all the things you know, you almost missed something quite important.

Tea.

Thankfully, no else one gets hurt. The building barely even carries any damage.

When Sheriff Humbert finally lets you leave, it’s already dark outside, far too late for a neighborly visit, but you go anyway. You should have driven, but by the time you think of that, you’ve almost climbed up the hill already. The forest seems to whisper to you; you ignore it.

It’s a grand house, and you can tell it’s empty by just looking at the front of it. Not without furniture, but without a heart. You knock, knock, knock, and the sound seems to echo through the whole forest.

When the door opens, it’s with a creak that almost sounds like a yawn, and Jefferson freezes, his eyes widening as they meet yours. They’re more tired than you remember.

"I didn’t forget," you say before he can get a single word out, handing him the small parcel. The paper has worn wrinkly in your sweaty palms. "I just burned down my shop today."

If he’s surprised, or concerned, he doesn’t show it. He hovers in the doorway, his fingers carefully unwrap the delicate teacup, and there’s a wisp of a smile of his face as they trace the tiny, nonsensical little spout.

"What’s this for?" he finally asks, his voice strangely raspy.

"Don’t you remember?" you say. "It’s your unbirthday."

He lets you in, then, and your boots sink into the carpeted floor, like the ground is trying to swallow you up. The front door clicks shut.

"Tea day is Tuesdays and Thursdays," you continue on, wandering deeper into the house, making a wrong turn and taking a few steps up the stairs before suspecting—recalling—that the kitchen is to the right. You huff frustratedly. "You didn’t remind me last week!"

"Well," Jefferson calls from somewhere out of your sight. "One never knows with you."

Dark wooden cabinets. Checkerboard tiles in the kitchen. You decide you’ve broken enough rules for a day and cross them strictly diagonally until you hit a corner cabinet, pulling it open. Empty, empty. "It’s my unbirthday too, you know," you say when you hear his steps approaching again.

"What are the chances?" His voice is still hollow, in a way, as hollow as this house, and you feel like you’re missing something, but it’s so, so tiresome to think about.

"Look at that," you say, shaking the last couple of crumbs out of a crumpled up, sad-looking biscuit wrapper. "I should have come up earlier."

Jefferson sighs as he leans against the counter, watching you continue to rummage through the shelves, drawers, cupboards, trays.

It’s the saddest tea you’ve ever prepared, without a single thing to nibble on and the tea leaves trapped in silly little cotton bags, but you move opposite each other like you’re playing a game of chess, which consoles you a little.

He wins, you think, but you don’t actually know how to play.

***

Jefferson was never entirely convinced you were from the Enchanted Forest. It didn’t suit you, the dirt of this world, the whispered promises of happily ever afters and wishing upon stars so your dreams came true.

You went for the things you wanted without an ounce of remorse and without a single glance over your shoulder.

Then again, none of the other worlds he’d passed through seemed to fit you, either. Wonderland might have come closest, but you lacked its shrillness, the blunt terror in its colors and way of life. And you hated playing cards.

He wasn’t sure how you kept running into him whenever he least expected it, but you seemed to make a habit of doing just that. You seemed to enjoy pretending not to notice him staring whenever he did find you, mesmerized as if it was that first time all over again.

There was something about your presence that made any room you inhabited feel different, and the woods and sky and earth would all vibrate at a different frequency whenever you were around. It wasn’t just your magic, it was all of you.

Of course, he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.

"See something interesting, dearie?" a voice laced with insanity asked from behind his shoulder.

Jefferson’s eyes never left you, even as he felt Rumplestiltskin’s gaze bore into his neck. You appeared to be counting the toadstools, reciting something in sing-song he couldn’t make out from where he was standing.

"Did you make a deal with her, too?" he asked, voice carefully neutral because you never knew what the Dark One would pick up on and use against you. He already had more on him than Jefferson liked.

"Oh, no. All magic comes with a price." The same phrase, a thousand times, accompanied by the same shimmer in his eyes. He didn't have to look to know it was there. "Just because you’re yet to pay yours doesn’t mean that’s true for everyone."

"So she’s mad?"

"What’s mad?" Rumplestiltskin tutted. "We’re all mad, in our own way. The most powerful most of all."

You lifted your head to look at the two of them and waved. Jefferson lowered the hat over his forehead, finally turning away.

"Then it surprises me you don’t seem to use that to your advantage," he said, crossing his arms.

The Dark One’s grin spliced his mouth with gold. "I like the result of my bidding to be as expected."

It seemed as good enough a cue to leave as any. He didn’t come very far, though, had barely taken the hat off to embark on his next journey before you caught up to him.

"Where are you going this time?"

He smiled to himself, because even with all your whimsical moods he knew you well enough by then to understand you hated being ignored. "Camelot," he answered just as the hat began swirling.

You stepped closer, bare feet crunching the fall leaves on the ground, and when he turned to meet your gaze, the curiosity in your eyes made his heart stumble over itself as he held out his hand, again.

You took it without a moment’s hesitation.

***

There’s a road that leads into town, but it doesn’t lead out. You like how this doesn’t make any sense; it almost feels normal.

Jefferson hates it, of course. It’s easy to read on his face, contempt tinting his every look and gesture an unbecoming shade of green. He hates this world and this wrong life and the fact that everything he wants is right under his nose and yet so far out of reach.

You get that, you really do. But the constant worrying and thinking just drags you down, doesn’t it? No. Ridiculous. So you decide to make a change.

Or rather, things fall into place again.

You work at the library now. People don’t like you as much, but it’s not like that thing at the flower shop was your fault, so they get over it. You love books too much to even consider setting them on fire, and there’s a lot less customer interaction involved, which minimizes the smalltalk. You’ve never liked smalltalk.

You’re perfectly content with your life.

That Friday you find Jefferson hunched over yet another map of the area, tracing the paradoxical routes that should lead onto the interstate and yet never do. Cars break down, bikes crash into trees that appear out of nowhere, and hiking somehow just leads you to walking in circles until you find yourself on main square once again.

It’s a puzzle that’s missing half its pieces, and you’d care about it more if you had any intention of leaving.

"Where do you want to go so badly, anyway?" you asked him once, when his eyes were red-rimmed with lack of sleep and that desperate determination.

"Home," he said, and the finality of that word made your insides twist.

Food and drinks are strictly forbidden in the reading hall, but you sneak him a thermos filled with coffee, anyway, the time for tea long passed.

He smiles at you tiredly as you take a seat opposite him, frowning at the pile of books you’re going to have to sort back onto the shelves past closing time. "Who are you today, then?" he asks, his voice hoarse as if he hasn’t talked all day. He hasn’t taken his scarf off, either, so maybe he’s getting sick.

You squint your eyes at him. "If you’re coming on to me, it’s not working."

Jefferson huffs, and then turns back to his maps. "Not at all."

Maybe it’s working a little, you think as you continue to watch him. After all, there’s method to this madness of his, passion to his pursuit, even though you don’t really understand it.

If he notices you staring, he shows no sign of it, and you’re not about to make him aware of it, not when you’re just starting to get to know each other. Besides, the longer you ponder the possibility of him, the stronger your head starts to pound.

You need to lock up at nine and Jefferson leaves you with another crooked grin that suggests more familiarity than there should be between the two of you. You return it with a bump of your shoulders, and then you watch him walk down the street with his hands in his pockets until he rounds a corner and you roll the shutters down.

Once again, you can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t quite right here.

Because of your migraine, you spill the leftovers of the coffee over a particularly rare collection of fairy tales later that night. The gold-edged pages bleed ink all over the maps, rendering them essentially pretty trash for the perfect townsfolk of Storybrooke. You fold them up as a gift, and then you put your keys into the letterbox for them to pick up on Monday.

***

For a while, it was the two of you on his travels through the different realms, exploring and stealing and doing the unexpected. It was your specialty, after all.

And then, just like that, for a whole while, Jefferson didn’t see you again, not until after he’d met and lost Grace’s mother. It was a particularly cold night in December when he woke to his daughter tugging at his sleeve and a strange noise from outside.

It was rhythmic, swooshing, almost like the wind but accompanied by something like a hum. When he stepped to the window, though, there was nothing outside but darkness and whirling snowflakes.

He managed to get Grace back into bed after some crackers and tea, her eyes drooping closed as she huddled up with the corner of her blanket in her mouth. Jefferson watched her drift back to sleep, and then he returned to the window, because he had this feeling that he couldn’t quite shake. Like someone was calling for him without ever saying his name.

He found you clearing the path leading up to the cottage with your bare hands, the frilly cloak around your shoulders not nearly warm enough to keep out the icy sting of winter. Your fingers were already starting to turn an unhealthy color, and a thin layer of snow sat at the crown of your head like a frozen hat.

Jefferson cursed and grabbed his coat from the bench next to the door.

"What are you doing?" he hissed when he reached you, wrapping you up within seconds. You blinked up at him. Your lashes were glittering with ice.

"It needed cleaning," you said matter-of-factly, without keeping your voice down.

Quickly, he ushered you inside and made you sit next to the fireplace. You only seemed to realize the oddness of your situation now that warmth was returning to your limbs, looking around the room in slow confusion, like you were trying to piece everything together.

Jefferson was putting the kettle back into the fire when you got up again, his coat still draped around your shoulders, and stepped closer to the bed.

"You had a daughter," you said, peering at the sleeping toddler with something almost like a frown. "She’s beautiful."

"She looks like her mother."

"Nonsense. She looks just like you."

The red on his cheeks felt almost like a betrayal, but you didn’t mean that, anyway, so it didn’t count. Still, he was stunned enough to drop his mug, and the sound of it shattering on the floor woke Grace up again. She would be three in spring, then, and she was a smart girl, but she’d stopped talking months ago, instead resorting back to the wails of a much younger child whenever she was upset, and she was hard to calm.

He couldn’t blame her.

Whenever he held her like this, he felt as helpless and alone as he did that first time when she was crying for her mother and there was no one there but him.

Except this time, Jefferson wasn’t alone. To his surprise, you stepped closer and started humming, and then singing under your breath.

To his even bigger surprise, it seemed to soothe Grace.

It was an old song, a familiar song, and you placed a calming hand on his shoulder as he cradled his daughter until she finally fell asleep again. You were still cold enough he could feel it through his shirt, but your voice carried a warmth he wasn’t used to anymore.

You took your tea in comfortable silence, and when the first rays of sunshine started creeping through the branches outside, you told him that you had to leave again. He almost asked how long it would be this time.

Instead, he led you to the door and shook his head as you tried to slip out of his coat. "The weather is supposed to turn again," he said, looking you up and down because he didn’t know when to expect you next. He never did.

"You’re different," you said, and even though you didn’t sound as disappointed as he felt at those words, they still left their mark.

"You’re not," he said, and meant it as a compliment. Somehow, when you met his eye, it didn’t seem like one anymore.

"I wouldn’t be so sure," you answered, and he had no response to that.

You kissed him, then. Sweetly, like a blushing bride would. For a moment, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

It was over far more quickly than he’d have liked, and you stuffed your hands into his coat pockets.

"I’m sorry," you said, and for the first time, you wouldn’t look at him.

But Jefferson could do nothing but stare, even as you finally turned and wandered down the path again, because there you were, with your heart on your sleeve, and he’d just lost his wife, and he didn’t know up from down anymore.

***

Stepping into Jefferson’s sitting room is a little like entering a creature’s belly and sitting down next to its beating heart, pressing so close you can feel it pulsating through you.

There’s a large grandfather clock staring at you from next to the fireplace, and on the mantle there’s a small, wooden alarm, and from there, it’s six and a half steps to the cuckoo clock on the far wall that makes a little rabbit appear every fifteen minutes.

Then, it’s another twenty steps past the living room table to the clock on the even farther wall and the bookcase he stores his silver pocket watch on, in a blue box on the high shelf, next to a dusty collection of fairy tales and an old hat he used to wear on Fridays.

Or was it Sundays?

"You could just go talk to her," you tell him on a Thursday, taking another sip of tea.

Jefferson sinks back in his chair, knuckles at his temples. His chin is still held high in bottomless defiance, but his eyes are so tired. "It’s not that simple."

"It’s not that complicated, either," you shrug. "You’re her father, after all."

"Except I’m the only one to know that."

"I know," you say, and you’re not sure yourself if you mean to sound reassuring or scolding. The thought is head-achingly heavy, so you drop it and pick up a tune instead, quietly humming to yourself as you continue your circles around the room.

It’s an old melody, ghosting through your mind more often than not, a little sad and happy at the same time. You feel Jefferson’s weary gaze on the back of your head, and somehow it makes you smile.

"You remember how it’s supposed to work back at home, though, right? True love conquers all." You chuckle to yourself. The song in your head starts to buzz. "Or," you continue with a dismissive lift of your eyebrow, "are you just going to wait for that savior to appear? How long has it been, ten years?"

"Eight years, three months, two-hundred and seventeen days."

Huh. You could have sworn you’ve been here much longer.

"Then there’s still nineteen years and …" You think for a moment, then shake your head. "You know what, I’m not going to get that right if I tried, and I don’t want to, so let’s just say a while."

He almost laughs at that, a soft, pained look in his eye that you’re not supposed to find charming.

"You’re going to go insane in that time," you say softly. "I would."

"I know." It’s already starting to tug at the tilt of his smile and the twitch in his eye. He hasn’t quite learned to stop caring, yet, and of course he hasn’t. That wouldn’t be like him.

He’s always been your mirror, so why would this be any different?

Things stay they same, and they stay the same, and they stay the same, and you’re sick of it. Apparently, there’s a thing such as too normal a life, and it makes your skin crawl.

So you start tailoring again. Your evenings are long and there’s just a few people that come in regularly, that ask for golden thread to fix their buttons and flaxen yarn to hem their suits. It’s quiet. Terribly quiet. Too quiet.

There’s not a single clock in your shop, and you realize you miss the ticking as soon as you crawl out of the belly of the beast. So you keep returning.

"We used to share a bed," you recall, lifting your arm so Jefferson can reach for the thread you’re holding out as you both sit on the floor, your tools and fabrics spread out over the entire room. You love watching him work, even though you don’t quite understand why he’s so obsessed with making hats. Maybe you just forgot.

"We did", he answers, not even looking at you. It makes you roll your eyes.

"So why don’t we now?"

"That would be rather complicated." His stitching is impeccable.

"Why?" Something throbs between your temples.

"Several reasons, dear." He tilts his head. "Aren’t you late?"

The unpleasant feeling in your chest disappears when you look at the clock. "Shit."

You hastily gather your things and start running to make it back to your shop in time, barely remembering to catch your breath enough to say goodbye, and so you miss the look on his face as he watches you, staying behind in the big house in the middle of the woods.

***

You visited more often, now that you knew about Grace, but Jefferson didn’t know if that was for her sake or for his. One thing that was very clear, however, was that you didn’t care at all about the dirty looks you got from everyone else whenever you strayed off the path to wander towards his cottage, unchaperoned.

Sure, they pitied him, but he was grieving, they said, and you were young and beautiful.

"They’re all so terribly starved for entertainment," you sighed, and then you handed him another pretty pebble you’d found on your way. He put it into the bowl on the window sill.

Grace was getting old enough to get used to you, then, to recognize the hands that tickled her chin and sometimes pulled her up when she fell on the forest ground. She loved your surprises, and your stories were her favorites to listen to when it was bedtime, even though she usually fell asleep long before you stopped talking.

"Did I ever tell you," you continued when the embers were barely glowing anymore but your eyes were shining in the moonlight, "about those pirates that I ran into near—"

"Why did you stay away so long?"

You blinked, and so did he. He hadn’t expected himself to actually ask, not after all this time that you had been back in his life. But the question was out now, sitting between you on the broken floorboards of his broken life, and the night stretched your silence into infinity.

"I wrote you letters," you told him, and it was true, but it wasn’t an answer. So he kept looking at you, and the silence scraped its nails against your skin. "I don’t know," you finally said in a way that told Jefferson you did know and didn’t want to tell him. There was a flustered hum to you that almost made him want to take it back, but the magic that followed each and every of your whims didn’t retreat. Not even a little.

"I was falling in love with you." He’d never admitted it out loud before. Who would he have told?

You laughed nervously, looking over at Grace. "Not very much, clearly."

"You never gave me the chance to do it properly."

"You don’t want me. I could never be a mother." Still, you talked quietly enough not to wake her, and you brought her trinkets and playthings whenever you’d been away for a while. You never brought him anything, but he still felt like he was getting a rare gift every time. It must’ve counted for something.

Besides, this was the first time you’d attempted to reason with him.

"I didn’t have her then," he said anyway, as if that was an argument.

"But you were always going to."

"And what about you and me?"

You bit your lip. "I’m inconvenient."

"I know," he said.

"You can’t rely on me."

"I know," he said.

"You deserve better than me."

Jefferson shook his head, and for the first time since he met you, you looked unsure. So, for the first time since he met you, he was the one doing the incalculable.

He kissed you.

You pulled him closer immediately, all logic forgotten as you crashed into each other, finally on the same page of this twisted story. You kissed him like you wanted him to be the happy ending to your storybook, even though you weren’t cut out for that kind of tale.

You both tried to be, anyway.

***

You’ve run the teashop now for … you’re not quite sure. Forever, maybe. It sure feels like your whole life has been spent between boxes of fragrant leaves, with a kettle always shrieking somewhere in the house and you humming whatever tune it sings to you.

But your hands are dirty, and no matter how much you brush your nails under scalding water, there always seems to be grime underneath them. Like you’re repotting plants in your sleep. Or clawing at the ground.

Your life is filled with sound, with constant chatter and gossip, because your front door is barely a five minute walk from Storybrooke secondary and the schoolgirls have developed an obsession with the shortbread and ginger muffins you serve with their tea. They reward you with whatever pocket money they can find at the bottom of their school bags and any gossip about their teachers they’ve eavesdropped on that week.

You constantly have a headache, but it’s fun, in a way. And you get to see Grace.

Your hand stops midair as you reach out for the lavender tea the girl ordered, staring unfocused until she clears her throat expectantly.

“Sorry,” you say, still dazed, “lost my train of thought there.”

The girl—Paige, you remember now, you heard her friend say her name when they entered the shop, Come on, Paige, and something about it made your stomach turn—tips her head to the side in a way that’s familiar, even though you don’t know why. “Can I have that to go?“ she adds, a quick look over her shoulder to where her friends are giggling.

“Sure.”

You only serve tea in loose leaves, because you believe trapping your window to the future in a small bag doesn’t do anyone any good, even though most of your customers don’t know how to tip their residue into their saucers in the proper way. You do it for them, sometimes, if they leave enough cold tea in their cups for you to do it after the door has clicked shut behind them. You knew about the mayor’s adoption papers going through before she knew about it herself, and you’d felt pretty smug about that.

The perfect amount of time to steep lavender tea is five minutes and forty-six seconds, and because you can’t trust a child to particularly care for such precision, you keep the steaming paper cup behind the counter until your timer goes off. You stir a dollop of honey in, humming to yourself, before you hand Paige the cup. She doesn’t really look at you, already distracted by another snippet of conversation, but she still flashes you a quick smile before hurrying to catch up with the others. The bell above the door jingles again, and the man stepping inside holds the door open for the girls to file outside, chattering excitedly. His other hand is balled up into a fist so tight it makes his knuckles stand out white.

He takes a deep breath before he turns and regards you. “You’re in a good mood.”

“I suppose so,” you say, even though it interrupts your humming. “Can I get you anything?”

His smile is small, but beautiful. “I think you already are.”

It’s then you notice you’ve pulled out one of the mugs from your good set without even asking, heaping two and a half spoonsful of your favorite blend inside like it’s the most natural thing for you to do upon his entrance.

Before you can apologize, he turns the sign in your window to 'closed' and sits down at the counter with a patient look, eyes very intense as they search yours, his face unreadable. None of it feels threatening, just … expectant.

So you continue with your instinctual movements, even though you’re not sure how you know what he’s waiting for. You feel like there’s something you’re missing, and it doesn’t come to you until you hand him his mug.

The mask falls when he says your name, your real name, and your lips twist into a smile that’s so unsure of itself it almost curls inwards.

You remember, you remember.

Every single lifetime falls back into place until the one that came first stays at the forefront. You cling to the thought like someone fights with a dream to be allowed to stay a little longer, battling oblivion with the resolution of a dragon slayer.

"How long was I gone this time?" you ask, hands clasping the counter more tightly and blinking fast as if that could keep the forgetting away.

"Hard to say," Jefferson answers. "A few weeks. You’re getting better."

You know he’s lying, because in the beginning, it would only take you a couple of days to remember. Now, your moments of clarity seem to be farther apart every time. "Was she nice?"

If you were going to remember any of this in a while, you’d really miss being the girl from the tea shop. You’ve been enjoying this version of things, the simplicity and the small dosages of variety, like little treats in this viscous monotony.

He shrugs with one shoulder. "She’s you."

"So, no."

His smile always seems sad these days. "So, nice in the ways that matter. You always are."

Somehow, you doubt that. "What day is it?" you ask.

"Seventeen years, six months, forty-five days."

You don’t ask him if there’s been any progress; you know there hasn’t been. Instead, you round the counter and put your arms around him. You feel him sag against you, his sigh of relief barely audible against your shoulder. You can’t help but wonder how long it’s been since Jefferson’s touched another person.

He pulls you close enough for you to feel his heartbeat in your own chest, and you barely breathe as you tighten the embrace even more, trying to hold both of you upright.

"Your hair’s getting longer again," you mumble after a very long time, dragging your thumb against the back of his neck.

"Don’t lie," he answers hoarsely, lifting his head without opening his eyes, your noses bumping before he rests his forehead against yours. "I miss you."

It breaks your heart, how easily it slips out.

Your lips seek his carefully, then more confident, because you don’t know how else to express your own feelings. This kiss, like all the ones before, is a promise you both know you won’t be able to keep.

Hope still tastes bitter on his tongue.

***

He’d always hated Wonderland, but he’d never hated it more than when he got stuck there and felt his sanity slip through his fingers a little bit more every day. Time didn’t make sense here, nothing did.

But if there was one thing that he could always rely upon, it was that you didn’t much care for sense.

"There you are." A voice as familiar as an old song woke him up from another nightmare. "What on earth are you doing in this hole?"

Jefferson opened his eyes. You were like a vision, not even paying attention to the disbelief in his eyes as you dusted off one of the useless hats.

"How," he croaked.

You chuckled a little and continued to look around the room. His cell. His locked cell with guards posted outside.

He sat up so quickly his vision went black for a moment. "How are you here?"

"You were gone so long," you said. "I was bored."

"You—" He held your cheek, your waist, your shoulder. You felt cool to the touch, but solid, real. Eyes innocent and glittering with your usual mischief, as if this was completely normal. "Have you seen Grace? Is she alright?"

"She misses you, too."

He didn’t even pay attention to it, then, but he remembered that little "too" at the end later, many, many times.

"Can you get me home?"

Your smile was soft and sad and sliced him in two all over again. You gently tugged at the bow around his neck, and then you simply said, "No."

So he raged. He bargained. He begged.

But you could not, would not budge, even though your eyes grew heavy as you listened to him. Like this was a disappointing development for you.

He already knew he was nothing more.

He stared at you when he was done, chest heaving, still on his knees in front of you even though he could no longer meet your eye. You didn’t say anything.

"Are you angry with me?"

"No," you said again. You brushed your hands through his hair and slowly sank down to his level.

It was only then that he realized tears were falling from his eyes. Gently, you wiped them off his cheeks, and then, holding his face in your hands, you pressed a kiss to his forehead before touching your own to the same spot.

"Grace sends this," you whispered.

Jefferson closed his eyes, heart twisting with that unspeakable ache.

"There’s something you need to know," you said, your voice already carrying the weight of it. As if all of this hadn’t been enough. "Something bad is coming."

"Isn’t it always?" he asked, but then he felt your magic flicker in a way it never had before. Like it was nervous.

And then lightning struck outside.

When he looked at your face, your eyes were rolled back and your magic was lashing out in all directions, clashing against the walls in terror. "There’s danger if I dare to stop and here’s a reason why," you sing-songed, unfocused, and Jefferson caught your hands before you clawed at your own face. "I’m over-due, no no no no, goodbye, hello." You hiccuped.

Dread washed through him in an icy shockwave. He’d seen you in a state of confusion before, many times, but this was different, not just overwhelmed but panicked. Your magic was literally spilling out of you now, like it was trying to escape whatever fate you’d seen coming, and you would’ve doubled over with it had he not held you upright.

"Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run run." You giggled. "Did you know I’m a bunny in a book?"

"Sweetheart, you need to focus."

The next thunder rolled outside and you screamed, but it seemed to knock some sense back into you because your eyes weren’t quite so glassy anymore when you looked at him again. "Oh, this next part won’t be fun."

Something knocked at the door and then it burst open, dark purple whirls of magic filling the room within seconds, accompanied by roaring winds and a thumping sound that reminded him of a beating heart. Your hands came up to cup Jefferson’s face and you gave him the saddest, most knowing smile he’d ever seen on you.

The wind almost swallowed your voice, but whatever magic hadn’t left you yet let him hear your words anyway.

"Some people really don’t deserve a wish."

Then, everything went black.

thank you for reading!! if you want to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications!! you can also buy me a ko-fi if you feel so inclined <3

#jefferson x reader #jefferson fic #jefferson x you #jefferson fanfiction #jefferson oneshot #once upon a time fanfic #ouat fanfic #lavender's blue

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makeusfreefromthisfandom · 3 years

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just sending some appreciation and good vibes to my people for the new year <3

kisses from me bc you all hold a very special place in my heart 💝

Also veryyy long post ahead I’m sorry I had to include everyone Aakklaksks 😭😭

@ominous-meme 🖤 sabah! You were my very first mutual on here I hope you know that! I can’t even begin on how excited I got when I found out you were a fellow desi girl and I will always appreciate you being there and advising me! <3 I love our street racing au! talks ! I’m glad I have someone to share ideas with <33

@weebsausage 🖤 dude omg!!! 😭😭😭 pls I literally forgot how we became moots I’m so sorry I have a tiny brain 😪 but I think we literally just messaged each other and started talking about free! ANYWAYS TYSM FOR PUTTING ME ON HXH I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THAT WTF ITS LIKE MY FAV ANIME EVER I HAVE BECOME HXH TRASH AJSJSJBS ❤️❤️ but other than that thank you for being a really great friend to me and I hope this year is nothing but good things for you <33

@dokifluffs 🖤 you were also one of my first moots on here! I honestly could not believe when you followed me back bc ur like my biggest inspo! 😭 you’re so precious omg I always look forward talking to you and get excited when I see a notif from you still! I hope the new year treats you well and brings good things in your life! Lots of love from me bae 🥰❤️

@syrenblubs 🖤 ah my most relatable person LOL. Omg syren ur my little bestie on here and I’m so glad we’re mutuals! I love our natsuya talks and OML THE C****** RAID! ALSJJSJSJSJJS AND DESI PARENTS AKSJJSNS. Just thank you for always interacting with me even tho I SUCK at responding 😭❤️❤️❤️ ilyyysmmmmmm

@linak 🖤 baby omg where do I even begin. Back when I had literally no one to talk to on here, you would be the one NEVER failing to send me a gm/gn message! You always bring a stupid smile to my face 😭 I’m so freaking glad that we are friends I literally cannot put into words!! Ty for always listening to me and letting me open up to you ❤️ love you always.

@croctears 🖤 vixxx ahhh!!! I’m so glad we became mutuals on this shitty app! You’re one of the highlights of my day and I love talking to you sm 😫 especially if it’s about Sou 😏😏 keep being amazing bae! Kisses mwuah mwuah 😽😽

@xakusa 🖤 Marty bby! 🥰 literally the only person I’m going to share my man natsu with 🙄 our conversations are always so RANDOM and out of nowhereeeee lollll but we also just go along with it and I love that! You are an angel and this year better be giving you what you deserve! Lots of love from my end 😽😽😽 kissies from me and natsuya <3

@cafelixie 🖤 I will keep saying this and I will never stop. YOU!!! ARE!!! THE!!! ACTUAL!!! DEFINITION!!! OF!!! PRECIOUS!!!! Need I say more? You’ve made my day countless times and I always look forward to seeing you in my messages/inbox!! Baby I freaking love you I really don’t know what else to say 😭❤️

@skippyskeppy 🖤 I will never forget the first time we interacted my Kisumi enthusiast 😙🤝 I love it sm whenever I see you pop into my inbox with a random hc about semi semi or Kisumi, Albert now too! You are an amazing person. A really amazing person. I hope you know that ❤️

@keeijiakaashi 🖤 I remember seeing your little comments under my posts before we became moots and OMGGGG YOU ARE SO CUTE AISJJSJSJS ALSO RIN ENTHUSIAST??? YES PLEASE!!! Tysm for always interacting with me and making yourself known as the ultimate sweetest person on my blog! Ilyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️

@animatedarchives 🖤 we have your fellow love of the kirishimas to thank for us becoming moots! You’re so cute soph omg 😫 I love how we literally have brainrots of the same characters LIKE MR GOJO LEECH SATORU!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD OR PAY RENT!!! Ahh you’re irreplaceable soph! Never fail to make me smile like an idiot <33

@natsuya-enthusiast 🖤 how did we not become moots sooner wtf??? Do yk how alone I felt when I had no one to discuss my obsession of natsu with when I first made this blog 😪 AND THEN I REALIZED U WERE ONE OF MY FIRST FOLLOWERS???? ANYWAYS U ARE THE BIG SIS I NEVER HAD ALWAYS PULLING THROUGH W THAT LIFE ADVICE BAHAHAHA ilysm gaby wtf 😭😡😡😡❤️❤️❤️

@moonlitspring 🖤 do you even realize how happy I got when I realized there was another ACTIVE free! blog 😡😡 ajsjjsjs you are such an amazing writer and PERSON sky!!! You’ve been nothing but the sweetest and I hope we get to interact more this year and share our love of free! together <3

@ayumiko 🖤 laís you are such an angel! I absolutely adore both you and your edits/gifs smmm 🥰 you are so kind and I hope 2021 is also <333

@dalggina 🖤 omg??? YGO bae??? 😤😤 I thought literally everyone had forgotten ab it LOL THEN YOU CAME ALONG ❤️❤️ I’m really glad we interacted precious person! And I hope that you have a great year! ALSO YOU BETTER NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT TOO MUCH FROM WORK OR IM MANIFESTING MR ATEM TO COME GET YOU 😡

@stormikujo 🖤 omg bby! We haven’t talked in awhile! I hope you are doing well! ❤️❤️❤️ ahhh I’m glad I got you into free otherwise we wouldn’t even have interacted 😫 I love talking to you stormi!! And I hope this year brings great things fro you! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

@aj-writes-here 🖤 omg hey girl 😼😼 you’re definitely one of the coolest people I’ve talked to on here for sure! Hope you’ve been enjoying hq and free! Your welcome for putting you on that simp train 😼 anyways, ilysm aj!! I really wish the best for you this year! Stay amazing as you always are, ily!! ❤️❤️

@attackonfics 🖤 wtf 😭😭 I don’t deserve you???? You’ve been nothing but the sweetest to me and also responsible for my unhealthy obsession with mr 5’2 angry gremlin >:(( jkjk but seriously, ty for the food 😌. ANYWAYS QUEEN I HOPE YOUVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND TREATING YOURSELF AS!!! YOU!!! SHOULD!!! VIRTUAL HUGS 😽😽 💝

@browsing-my-favourite-fandoms 🖤 Shizen! You are too good for this world! 😭 you are such a genuine person, you deserve nothing but happiness ❤️ I really hope that this year does that for you. I’ll keep checking in from time to time! Ilysm! ❤️

@inum4ki 🖤 sera...please...just invest in a personal guide or smth. Asksksknsjs n e wayzzz seeing you in my inbox is always so much fun! Sousuke really deserves more love and you are bringing it to the table hun 😤😤 also you’re a fellow inumaki enthusiast too??? Yes please. You deserve all the happy things in 2021 <3

@sneezefiction 🖤 Gracie!! I love how easy it is to get along with you! You are truly one of the best people I’ve met on this app and I’ll forever be grateful for our friendship <3 you give off such great vibes all the time omg giving you a huge virtual hug and here’s to more interactions this year! 🥰😽😽😽

@velvetfireworks 🖤 bbyyy!! 🥰 everytime we interact even if it’s not a whole lot, you’re always the sweetest what 😭 I love you and you’re writing so much omggg you are so talented!! I get super excited when I see myself get tagged in one of your stuff 😆 I hope we get to interact more in the future! Have a great New Years ❤️❤️❤️

@a8mine 🖤 stop being so mean to me 😡😡 !!!!!! ig ily anyways tho 🙄 you’re energy is honestly unmatched (in a good way!!) and it’s rare to meet people like that! You’re so funny omg and your random hcs and cursed discourses always have me dying 😭😭 you’re so cool hanna ily 😪✌️ <333

@giorvanna 🖤 ahh rena! Your blog and edits are *chefs kiss* I love our random semi brainrot sessions 🥰🥰 I hope we interact more in the future but in the meantime I’m sending you good vibes and lots of virtual hugs bc you deserve them queen ❤️❤️❤️

@seijohlogy 🖤 hey hey jaestar 🤩🤩 you are such a cool person??? Omg I’m so glad that we’re friends and randomly invade each other’s inboxes 😆 you are so kind! This year better be kind to you too or else 😡😡 I hope that after Ms rona decides to move her ass over, you get to go to Disneyland and take!! Me!!! With!! You!! Love you jae bae ❤️❤️

@prettysetterbaby 🖤 hey sexc 🤩🤩 no idea why you followed me but glad you did bc you are such a sweet and chaotic person!! I loveeeeee <333 I hope we get to interact more bc you are just genuinely such a fun person to interact with! Ilyyy

@datecho 🖤 yet another just genuinely sweet person! The world doesn’t deserve you! You’re so fun to interact with and a hottie??? omg shoto and kags better get off their asses rn and come get you or I will 🤩🤩 ly bae! have a great New Years! ❤️❤️

@miyasangel 🖤 we haven’t interacted much yet but ahaha talking about suna and sending my fanart to you is sm fun! Did I tell you that I also have a wip of Atsumu as a street racer? 😏 have a great year Arden bae! Kisses 😽

@aikk00 🖤 hi hi! We don’t interact on a daily or anything but when we do, omg!!! You are the most easy person to get along with 😭 you have such a good heart along with the talent???omg??? You are UNMATCHED babe! I hope this year brings you many more opportunities! Stay amazing love ❤️ ily and your art very much ❤️ I’m also still very embarrassed from fucking up the credits from last time. I’m so sorry bae 😭❤️❤️

@kurooskult 🖤 ma’am you might as well be the definition of bad bitch 😪🤝 ok but besides that, interacting with you is sm fun??? Like we don’t even have to be moots on your blog to feel just as included and loved! You are such a queen for that! Here’s to more mila x kuroo content in 2021 and he better be doing special for you as he should !!

It’s still the 31st here but THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING MY COUPLE OF MONTHS ON HERE BEARABLE!!! This sounds like a goodbye post Oml-

I love you all very much. I suck at words, but I hope you know that. ❤️

#precious ppl✨<3 #OK NOW GN IVE BEEN UP FOR TOO LONG

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unholyplumpprincess · 3 years

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Don’t Wanna Forget a Thing

For @fyeahnix !!!!!! Thank you so much for your patience and I hope you end up loving this as much as I love creating it! Thank you also for always giving me such fun prompts to do for the Goirls!!!!!

Summary: Anita and Wraith get away from the games for their anniversary on a vacation that involves being together, lots of good food, lots of Wraith taking pictures, and more than one sexual romp. Finally having privacy away from the games only making Wraith realize more and more things about how she pictures her life with this beautiful woman. Or! In which Anita and Wraith go on an anniversary trip and kiss and fuck a LOT and also bask in each other's presence.

IT COSTS ZERO DOLLARS TO REBLOG IF YOU LIKE IT :D

!!!Minors and ageless blogs dni or you will be blocked!!!

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Bangalore/Wraith

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Wraith has piercings which is mentioned, public play, scent kink stuff, lots of picture taking + recording that is also explicit bc Wraith wants to remember Everything, Lil bit of bondage, and LOTS of the girls loving each other soooo much

Words: 10.4k

____________________

Psamathe was easily one of the most sumptuous, luxurious locations Wraith had ever seen in her life.

That’s all she could think when Anita brought up taking a trip there for their first-year anniversary. Olympus in its abandoned state as it was, was already terribly expensive looking in appearance. And that’s just for when they were fighting rather than going somewhere just to spend time together. Albeit, holding a knife to your girlfriend’s throat could be considered ‘spending time together’ but not when you were ready to steal Champion right from under their nose.

At first, Wraith had been a bit nervous. It was a beautiful location, don’t get her wrong, with plentiful shops and beautiful scenery. But any hesitations she may have had disappeared at the sight Anita’s excited face. Wraith was already wrapped around her finger and agreeing that it sounded like a great idea for their time off between seasons.

Anita had never been on a vacation like this before, she had admitted with a bit of a sad chuckle. Family vacations weren’t really a thing in their family- always on the stiffer end of waiting for more orders from the military. Being able to get away, as she explained it to Wraith, was almost like a dream.

Most people went home. Wraith and Anita both had their own reasons for not returning. Wraith, because she didn’t even know if she had any family members to begin with. And Anita, her home planet and family being too far- the whole reason she joined the games in the first place. Finding someone willing to take her home.

But together, they were their own family.

Together, they were a home.

~Rest under the cut~

The dropship leading to their hotel is spent with Wraith wide awake and Anita leaning down and to the side to rest her head on her shoulder. Wraith spends that time with her head resting against hers, her hand resting on Anita’s thigh and squeezing soothingly when Anita gets disturbed by a bit of turbulence. Soft murmurs of, “We’re okay, shh, I’m here. Rest up, baby.” To encourage Anita back to rest. Normally followed by Anita’s soft, fond hum and her freckled cheek nuzzling lightly across the top of Wraith’s head.

Their hotel is even prettier than the pictures. Huge and spacious with a big enough bed for them to share. Not like the size would save Anita’s body from the wrath of Wraith’s cold hands, however. The canopy bed was massive, with beautiful white gauzy fabric tied up around it giving it this romantic feeling with soft twinkling lights entangled in pink flowers.

To the left of it was a huge balcony overlooking a beautiful lake with big mountains and trees since in the distance across the way, with the city’s lights on the opposite side sparkling enticingly. Benches, tables, and chairs on the balcony for a quiet night or morning overlooking the beauty of the city they were staying at.

The bathroom was huge on its own with a walk-in shower made from stone and glass, big enough you could probably host at least five people in there comfortably, and a clawfoot tub off to the side. The double vanity with quartz countertops was equally as lovely, including everything they may need for their stay left atop in a basket.

“I could get used to this.” Anita had murmured low in her chest, arms wrapping around Wraith from behind in the bathroom as they both looked at the massive mirror together. Wraith had hummed her agreement, it definitely being a step up even from their quarters at the compound. Her plump lips quirk up into a half smile, turning her head up to receive a forehead kiss.

From there, it was planned dates for their two weeks in the city.

Anita suggests scoping out the city first, reminding Wraith that Natalie had a few places she wanted them to try as well. Wraith remembered, having written them down with Natalie’s insistence and a big smile on her face- anything for her best friend, after all.

The first day is sightseeing, going and walking around with their hands interlocked. Anita didn’t tend to care for PDA, but after a few hungry looks peering over at her, Wraith had casually slipped their hands together. A low hum nearing a growl in her throat when Anita had laughed. “What? Don’t like people checkin’ out the goods?”

“Don’t like people checking out what’s mine.” Wraith had coolly replied, looking up at her from under her thick lashes and smirking when she catches Anita’s freckled cheeks flushing and a small lip bite.

Cute.

She’s so cute.

Should let them watch-

Should let them watch how we tear her apart-

“They bugging you?” Anita’s voice cuts in, looking pointedly at how milky white Wraith’s eyes turn. Wraith shakes her head softly, offering a little shoulder shrug to show they weren’t saying anything worrying. No danger. However, Wraith wasn’t about to stroke Anita’s ego and tell her the reasons why.

They stop at locations to eat, a nice outside area in the morning where Anita looks beautiful in the morning light with her hands cupped around a mug and her full lips curling around the lip of it. Wraith must look at her a bit too fondly because Anita smirks, with a cocky sounding remark about if Wraith would rather take a picture to make it last longer. To which Wraith replies sarcastically of how she bets Anita wished she would, only to make Anita laugh, her head thrown back and dimples creasing her cheeks.

Wraith would end up taking a picture of her, however, for her book to keep for her own memories. Fit with little hearts drawn around it of where the morning light kissed Anita’s warm face and made her face glowy with her little smile left on her lips.

Parks were Wraith’s personal favorites. The large trees and walking paths brought a warm peace to her as she walked hand in hand with Anita. The crunch of Autumn leaves under her boots’ heels with each step and the crisp breeze blowing a few loose hairs from her messy bun around her. Everyone was quiet for the most part. Only occasionally piping up when Wraith would peek at Anita and everyone would start their rants. Ranging from Wraith’s innermost adoring thoughts to the filthier of them.

Who would have thought shopping would be Anita’s favorite? She loved clothes shopping, namely, putting Wraith in outfits and having her walk out and twirl for her. Anita’s own wardrobe was kept pretty simple, more masculine or neutral clothing just like she liked it. Though at some point in time, Wraith walks out in a sweet white dress she would have never picked. A thin bow tied at her chest and the sleeves short and puffy resting just on her biceps below her shoulders with the skirt flowy and sweet. It looked very cute- but definitely not her normal style.

It seems to do it for Anita however, who ends up in the dressing room with her, kissing Wraith until her breath is gone and her legs are hooked around Anita’s waist so she can grind into her and grunt in her ear about how good she looks.

That picture was taken by Anita, a selfie of the two with Wraith propped up against the wall by Anita’s hips still and Anita raising one side of her lips in an almost snarl and doing a rock sign. Whilst Wraith’s hair was a mess, bite marks on her neck and covering her face with her arm while her top and bra were tugged below her plump breasts.

That would later start a war between them of many more selfies and pictures in more sexual settings. One always having to prove they were better than the other.

Not that Wraith didn’t notice, though. How much Anita loved being on camera. Something that would be used to her advantage later as well.

Another day, they go to a cute café together. Sitting outside of it where the sky is gray and the rain gently patters down without too much concern for it underneath the large, white, lacy parasol over their heads. On the matching glass table is a plate of sampler little cakes, since Wraith was unsure of the flavors she would or wouldn’t like. On the table if her journal detailing the foods she liked and disliked, just so she could keep track for later purposes.

Anita insists on feeding her the bites, fit with a hand cupped under the spoon and her going, “Say ahh.” A blinding smile always on her face when Wraith rolls her eyes dramatically before going ‘aaah’ to placate her. Sealing her lips around the sweet cakes and having a different opinion each time.

Each bite is taken into account, with Anita laughing at her when Wraith makes displeasured faces fit with crinkling her nose when it’s a flavor she isn’t fond of. Normally followed by Wraith swallowing said bite and quickly downing it with water and hastily writing in her book with an underlined red pen of ‘No’ in bold.

If it’s a flavor she enjoys, she notes that Anita goes quiet when Wraith hums in a low moan of pleasure with the taste. Taking her time to flick her tongue over the spoon or linger a bit too long just so she can peek at Anita whose cheeks are red, but a small smile still on her face.

When Anita goes to take a bite of a cake Wraith really liked right after her, she leans herself across the table to kiss Anita. Swiping her tongue over her lips with another low hum of approval as she situates herself back in place with a look over Anita’s red face at the blatant PDA. “Mmh. I think I like it better when it’s from your mouth instead.”

“Ghostie, Imma need you to tone it down in public,” Anita whispers breathily at her, her ears burning and her elbow going to rest on the table with a hand over her face so she can hide her embarrassed look from Wraith.

Which is oh so fondly taken a picture of by Wraith after a quick glance down at the glass table to see how tightly Anita’s got her thighs pressed together and squirming lightly.

She’s so easy to turn on.

Look at how cute she is when she turns red for us.

You know she doesn’t actually want it to be toned down.

No one is around, what’s she so shy about?

Maybe she’s hoping you’ll take here right here--

In front of you.

Wraith blinks the visions away just in time to see Anita uncovering her face, reaching across the table to try and smear cake on Wraith’s face. Thankfully with the warning, Wraith jerks back with a short chuckle when Anita narrowly misses, only skimming her bottom lip with icing. The dodge only makes Anita try harder to get her, resulting in laughter from the both of them as Wraith leans back, ending up snatching her wrist and twisting her arm back towards Anita to aim for her face back.

They don’t notice a couple passing by soon after, holding an umbrella to stay close and looking over at the duo with a fond smile on their own faces as they think of their youth together.

The day proceeds just as softly with them together, walking the streets and occasionally taking breaks to rest or just to look at the hologram of a map and figure out what their next location should be. Sitting shoulder to shoulder and both feeling freer than ever without the responsibilities of keeping things ‘under wraps’ for the interviews for the Games.

Even then, they were known across the Outlands. Fans would occasionally stop them even here, smiling and giggling and asking for pictures. Both always declined the pictures, but most were respectful and understood and just told their stories. Some people telling Wraith that she helped them accept themselves with their own disorders- something she never thought she’d even help with. People with DID relating to her or schizoaffective disorders.

It felt...good for someone else to relate to her. For someone else to see her and think if she could do something like that, they could too.

When people stop Anita, their own stories are just as warming. Seeing not only a strong woman competing on screen, but a black woman. People explaining how it empowered them to apply for jobs they would have never before, or to be more assertive in saying No to people due to Anita’s most infamous interviews where she’d put her foot down at certain questions and tell them to move on or she would be leaving.

Not to mention some of the women stopping Anita looking to be of more masculine dress like she was, always seeming to bond to her in a way of seeing representation in a ‘Stud’ on screen. When Wraith had asked about that term after they had left, Anita explained it with a bit of a laugh and a one shouldered shrug. “Just some slang, baby.”

“An accurate term.” Wraith hums back, her eyes looking Anita over from toe to head in a slow drag and making a clear show of checking her out. That results in a blush on Anita’s cheeks, lightly shoving Wraith’s shoulder and shushing her once more. Again, Anita didn’t like PDA, something Wraith used to her advantage to make her blush even more.

Later that night, however, it would be Anita’s turn to enact some red cheeked vengeance.

Under the night sky with beautiful bright stars, there’s a violinist in the streets playing a beautiful love song on the corner of the street. People have gathered around to listen and watch her play, some kind of swaying to the music or holding their loved one with them.

Wraith feels a hand grab hers as they get closer, only to be pulled in a twirl back towards Anita and her waist grabbed as she smiles down at Wraith. “May I have this dance?”

Wraith’s face flushes red with an embarrassed laugh choking from her throat as Anita begins to lead them in a dance on the sidewalk. Twirling her and swaying with her and making Wraith’s nervousness bubble down into just soft laughter as she’s twirled back into Anita’s arms and dipped with one of her legs going up to complete said dip.

They’re watching.

“Anita they’re looking-”

“Let them. What? A girl can’t dance with her favorite ghost?” Anita’s voice is teasing as she pulls Wraith back up, spinning her in a twirl once again and dragging her body close to hers with a tighter grip on her waist and mischief flashing in her dark eyes. “Ya don’t mind the PDA when you’re doin’ it, but when I do it...”

Wraith is lifted by her waist and spun in the air, making an uncharacteristic and humiliating squeak leave her lips as her hands grip Anita’s broad shoulders. She’s brought back down, their noses nuzzled together and making her face feel all too hot when Anita chuckles low and rumbling in her chest. “See why you like it. Like when you turn all red for me.”

That night, Wraith makes sure to turn Anita all red for her. Fit with licking into her mouth and tying her down, making her thighs shake and her muffled moans crying out around Wraith’s panties in her mouth. Wraith makes sure to take a picture of her afterwards with flash just to embarrass Anita further, admiring the pictures afterwards and how her nails had scratched ‘Mine’ across Anita’s abdomen in raised dark pink marks.

These would go right in her personal journal, for her eyes only unless she wished to embarrass Anita by showing and reminding her.

The present day was a lazy day in the morning. Spent in bed for most of it and resting in each other’s embrace and eating together. Wraith needs the down time, and it looks like Anita does too considering the way she whines whenever Wraith needs to get up to do something as simple as brush her teeth. Needily burying her face into Wraith’s neck or back once she’s finally back in bed and grumbling about her cold skin when Wraith’s nails scratch at Anita’s scalp and running her cool fingers down her neck.

Of course, that only results in Anita getting said cold hands pressed further across her skin until she has to arch into her girlfriend and away from her freezing hands. Only able to stop her when Anita grabs her wrists and pins them above Wraith’s head with a huff. “Watch it, Blasey.”

“Or you’ll what, Sergeant?” Wraith quips back with a cock of her head. Her hair loose from its normal up position, dark locks curling around her head and her face in a messy way that makes Anita swallow. Her baby blue eyes look hungry as she peers up at her from under her lashes, her strong thighs spread around Anita’s hips and her soft, plump lips quirking into a smirk when Anita doesn’t reply. “Gonna tie me up so I can’t touch you? I’d like to see you try.”

Anita opens her mouth to huff back that she’s stronger than her and ropes wouldn’t be necessary to hold Wraith down. Only to yelp when Wraith hooks one leg around her waist, thrusting her hips in time to push Anita backwards and using her weight to push her back. Anita lands with an ‘oof’ on her back, her girlfriend happily perched on her lap with now Anita’s hands above her head, laced in Wraith’s.

“What? Cat got your tongue?” Wraith teases, leaning down to be close enough their breath mingles.

“I’d like somethin’ on my tongue, that’s for sure.” Anita breathes back, her eyes flickering down to her plump lips and how Wraith smirks. Wraith makes sure to lick her own lips, the flash of her piercing making Anita’s breath hitch.

Too easy.

“Be a good girl and keep your hands up there for me, hm?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Wraith moves her head down, ending up kissing along Anita’s neck, leaving small bites and humming when Anita moans. Letting her tongue slide down her neck as Anita tilts her head to the side with a satisfied sigh when lips brush that little spot she liked being kissed the most.

Only for Wraith to blow a big, wet raspberry in her neck and causing Anita to shout, squirm, and shove at Wraith who goes falling backwards with a laugh.

Only for a pillow to thump her right in her face in turn.

That results in laughter bubbling from their room as they fire pillows at each other, ending with Anita running to take shelter in the shower and Wraith cornering her with a pillow until Anita can swing and pin her to the shower wall. Resulting in more laughter and stolen kisses and finally a truce.

By the time night rolls around, they’ve both have had their very necessary downtime. Tonight, they were going to go to a club, one that Ramya had suggested to Anita. Of course, when Anita had narrowed her eyes and mentioned that Ramya had been 20 when she came on a business trip here and wouldn’t be old enough to enter the club, Ramya had merely given her a look. ‘Been runnin’ this business since I was a kid, but me handlin’ guns is less frightening to you than underage drinking? C’mon, ‘Nita, don’t be such a mom.’

Anita dresses up for the occasion. A black, tailor fitted button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her forearms and it unbuttoned tastefully down towards her cleavage but covering entirely. Black form fitting slacks fitting into her combat boots. A leather banded watch rests on one wrist, a gold chain choker and her dog tags rest around her neck, drawing attention to her collar bones and chest, and matching rings decorate her hands.

This was an outfit Wraith went a bit crazy over. Something simple but a little more dressed up than Anita’s casual outfits. Maybe Anita was looking to tease a little bit, maybe work Wraith up a bit and get her to finish what she started earlier. Anita checks herself over in the mirror, a ringed hand running over the side of her neck where a bruise was made earlier from Wraith’s mouth.

Before she can linger much longer on it, the bathroom door is heard creaking open and Anita goes to open her mouth to tease Wraith about maybe going in a hoodie or something casual. But her breath is stolen from her the second she sees her girlfriend.

Wraith normally wore things that were more on the punk side or more covering when in situations like this. But today, Anita guesses, she’s trying to kill her.

Wraith dresses in a tight black dress with a low plunge neck to get an eyeful of her plentiful cleavage and floral lace full length sleeves. It pools almost to the floor with a long slit up her left leg nearly reaching her hip and exposing her soft skin and her own black boots. Her hair is tied up into a ponytail, her fringe swept to the side and two loose pieces of hair curling onto the sides of her face in their natural waves. Her makeup is done with a pitch-black matte lipstick on her lips and winged out eyeliner. A black velvet choker around her neck is only the icing on the cake for Anita.

The way the dress clings to her soft, filled out frame makes Anita swallow hard. Wraith can see how she looks at her, her eyes raking over her favorite ghost’s form. Wraith tries not to smirk, cocking her head to the side to show the expanse of her neck and watching Anita’s dark eyes slowly sliding up before she’s licking her full lips and she’s making a low whine in her throat. “When in the hell did you get this?”

“When Nat and I went out a few weeks ago,” Wraith starts, struggling not to laugh when Anita comes closer until her hands can slide up Wraith’s curves. She looks like a little puppy dog, or like Wraith was a present for her. Wraith can’t say she hates the attention this holds on her. “She said you would like it. Looks like she wasn’t wrong. Never is.”

“Remind me to thank her.” Anita sighs.

Wraith’s hands grab Anita’s wrists and slide them back down to the swell of her hips when they start to creep higher, resulting in a low whine from her poor, poor girlfriend who looks like she’s about to ditch the idea of the club all together. Wraith might be thinking the same thing, looking over the outfit Anita had on and picturing popping all those taunting buttons and tying her hands above her head so she’s just in her slacks and accessories. Maybe tie her to a chair...

They’re practically eye fucking each other. Wraith’s hands still stay around Anita’s wrists, holding them in place on her hips where Anita is squeezing her with flexes of her fingers. It’d be too easy to just back her against a wall, mouth at Anita’s neck until she got weak in the knees and fell to the floor.

We could taunt her.

Imagine how she’ll look looking at only us in a sea full of people.

Make her want us more.

Make her beg-

“Good?” Anita murmurs softly, dragging Wraith’s attention back to her face. It’s spoken quietly, a pointed look to Wraith’s once milky white gaze.

Wraith quirks her lips up, standing on her tiptoes and letting her soft painted lips press a kiss fondly to Anita’s jawline, the start of her marks for the night. “They’re fine. Nothing bad.”

It’s enough of a pause to let Wraith break away from her, much to Anita’s disappointment who whines and tries to follow after her. But a reminder of their plans is enough to get her to stop, even if it’s just because Wraith knows she’s looking at her ass when she turns around to bend over and make sure her boots are laced up.

Too easy.

A private driver picks them up to drop them off at the club. Wraith’s hand rests on Anita’s thigh near the entire drive, subtly squeezing whilst looking out the window and feeling how Anita’s muscles tense beautifully. She can feel her squirm when her hand inches up a bit more towards her inner thigh, squeezing and letting her gaze flicker over to Anita.

Anita herself looked so cute, her legs spread casually, her elbow resting on the side of the car with her mouth covered by her hand and her own gaze turned outside. Even in the dark, Wraith can see her blush from here and how Anita tries to play it cool. A squirm of her body, a clear of her throat, and trying to adjust her legs occasionally only for them to fall back open and prey to Wraith’s squeezing.

By the time they make it to ‘The Tipsy Bat’ nightclub, Anita’s already wound up. Something Wraith can tell just by how she exits the car and has to adjust herself before going and opening Wraith’s door. Always a gentleman.

It starts well enough. The club is huge and spacious, the lights sticking to a more pastel with some illuminating bats on the walls. The bar is off to the side, out of the way to allow easier access with the music sticking to a deeper bass instead of shrill. Natalie had recommended this club, explaining that it was easier on the eyes. She explained that she had her headphones on her just in case and that there were ‘quiet rooms’, making it easier to manage if she got overwhelmed.

Perfect for Anita. Sometimes too loud of bangs could startle her if she wasn’t ready or in the mindset for fighting. It could send her into overdrive, upsetting her enough that Wraith would need to find her a quiet place to ground her again. Just as too bright of lights could send Wraith into a panic if she wasn’t prepared for them.

Wraith goes to get them drinks from the bar, just water for herself, something stronger for Anita upon request. At the bar she keeps an eye out, casually leaning back against it and letting her eyes scan the scene.

Bodies press to each other on the dancefloor, people dancing with their friends or lovers. The music is a deeper, steady bass, perfect for something to grind to and people are abusing that. Her eyes scan farther, looking for Anita and finding her leaning against the wall she’d left her at but now with two girls on either side of her seeming to be talking her up. One twirling her long blonde braids and fluttering her lashes and clearly eyeing Anita up, the other girl leaning closer to her and doing that flirty little gesture of resting her hand on Anita’s bicep.

Anita clearly is trying to be polite, flashing a smile and clearly liking the attention. Wraith can’t blame the girls, nor Anita. She was beautiful, absolutely stunning. Of course people wanted a piece of what was Wraith’s. Look at her. Such a handsome woman with her curls and her freckled, dimples smile. Her kind gaze and how when she laughed it was deep enough to rattle your chest from her smoky tone.

But she’s ours.

She knows she’s ours so what’s the harm?

Look at them- all over her. We should show them who she belongs to-

“Your drinks, ma’am.” The voice of the bartender makes Wraith blink a few times, turning her attention back to the bar and thanking them as she takes the two glasses. She feels like a predator as she slinks through the crowd, people parting as if they knew she was a woman on a mission as she approaches their area to set drinks on the table nearby Anita.

“-h my gosh, running around on that arena must be soooo hot! Do you get like, super sweaty?” Wraith catches one of the girls asking, a giggle in her voice and her teeth biting her bottom lip as she looks Anita up and down at the words ‘super sweaty’. Wraith is closer now, able to see how Anita rubs the back of her neck and offers a low chuckle.

“Yeah, of course. King’s canyon tends to run a bit hotter. But I’m hot blooded, ya know? Like it hot.” Anita answers, only resulting in both girls looking at each other with a knowing expression and one of them laughing a bit harder than necessary.

“Hot blooded! Oh my gosh, you are so funny!”

Wraith feels her own blood boil.

She creeps closer, silent like a ghost and making the two women jump in surprise when Wraith slides an arm around Anita’s waist and tucks her body against her. Her nails press lightly to Anita’s side, pressing nice and close to her and feeling satisfaction when Anita’s arm rests around her and gives a squeeze in greeting.

“I suggest you find another ‘funny’ girl. This one’s taken.” Wraith’s tone is icier than she intends. Unfortunately, it’s how most things came out of her mouth, rather flat without much tone indication. Her expression doesn’t help any either, her eyebrows not even so much as twitching.

When the girls trot off with half assed goodbyes and a nervous glance over Anita’s smaller companion, Wraith can’t help but huff a bit. Turning to bury her face into the side of Anita’s chest and growling a bit low in her throat. “I remember why it took us so long to date in the first place. You’re so oblivious.”

“Or maybe I just like seein’ ya jealous.” Anita teases back, squeezing her arm around Wraith and letting her hand brush up and down the curve of her side as if soothing an angered lion. “You look like a pissed off kitten. It’s cute.”

That might just seal Anita’s fate, and Wraith knows that Anita knows how Wraith feels about being treated as small. Her eyes flash dangerously up at her, seeing how Anita’s lips flicker into a little smirk because she knows. She knows what she’s said and done.

Wraith’s nails press into Anita’s side, curling her body around her until she can press her hand to the wall behind her, her other hand grabbing Anita’s jaw and drawing her attention down to Wraith.

Her baby blues trace over Anita’s face, down to her lips and then flickering back up to her eyes as she brings her close enough for their breath to mingle. “Watch it, Williams. I’m not against making an example out of you in front of everyone. But you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Even in the club, Wraith can see how Anita swallows, squirming when Wraith presses closer. Anita’s cocky expression falls quick when Wraith slides a thigh between hers, drawing Anita nice and close until her lips can press at the expanse of her neck. The hiss falling from her fall lips of embarrassment is worth it alone, but it’s even more worth it when Wraith sucks hard on the side of her neck to leave a bruise.

Anita knows better than to draw attention by yelping, but that doesn’t stop her from hissing Wraith’s name and squeezing her waist until Wraith is satisfied with the bruise. Letting Anita stand up as Wraith quirks one corner of her lips up in a smirk. “Try not to let another girl get all over you.”

Should find them and ask if they want to watch her-

Watch her get fucked by us.

Show them who does it better.

Bet they were pillow princesses anyway.

Wouldn’t know how to touch her like we do.

She wants us.

She likes when we’re mad.

“And if I don’t?” Anita breathes, leaning back on the wall as a pastel pink light zooms by her face, highlighting the darkness on her cheeks. Her legs are still lightly spread, still staying right where Wraith put her. A good girl.

“I’ll do worse than just give you a hickey. Maybe they’d like to receive a video of what a good girl you are for me on your knees.” Wraith’s voice is just as icy as it always is. Quirking a brow at Anita and waiting for a quip back, but all she gets in return is a low whine.

Once settled down again, Wraith offers Anita her drink to sip on before they go and dance. A precaution to down your drink before ever letting it out of your sight even for a moment.

Anita doesn’t dance, that’s what she says always to Wraith with a roll of her eyes as she’s bringing her to the dancefloor. They both know it’s a lie. If anything, Wraith didn’t dance. But she’d seen Anita dance plenty. Swaying her hips in the kitchen when cooking, bouncing her body to rhythms that hypnotized Wraith often into coming up behind her to wrap her arms around her while she swayed.

Wraith knew dances, but whether she knew them from another life or this path knew it, she still wasn’t sure. She knew belly dances, rhythms in which her hips and abdomen were your focal point. Things she taunted Anita with that made her whine and strain against bonds and huffing about how much she wanted to touch Wraith. Always an ego booster.

Even on the dancefloor now, it takes Wraith more time to unwind as they move together to the deep bass and flashing pastel lights. Anita’s hands keep sliding over Wraith’s body, squeezing over her soft curves and the plumpness of her hips. Wraith can’t even argue that she’s not doing the same thing, feeling over Anita’s strong arms and the much sharper, built waist of hers.

It gets to the point where Wraith’s breath is catching whenever Anita’s hands slide over her body. Ending up dragging Wraith to her, with her back to her chest where her hands can slide up and over Wraith’s body as she reaches behind to grip at Anita where she can. Wraith’s face is flush, warmed when Anita’s head dips, pressing hungry kisses to her neck and down her shoulder and hearing the quieted moan from her lips when she inhales Wraith’s scent.

Wraith’s hips grind backwards absentmindedly into Anita’s that are starting to dry hump against her ass. The swell of her ass being a perfect thing for Anita to grind into as her hands fall to her round hips and draw her closer back. One of Wraith’s hands grabs the back of Anita’s neck at her nape, her fingers teasing up the velvety shaved sides as Anita’s teeth press into the side of her neck and make Wraith whine low in her throat.

They’re practically dry humping on the dancefloor. Not that anyone pays them any mind like anyone else. It takes all of her strength for Wraith to break them apart and not just stake her claim in public. Taking Anita’s hand and rushing them through the crowd and straight for the private bathroom. Wraith is quick to lock it behind them, walking Anita back against the sink and grabbing the front of her button up to tug her down until their lips can hungrily press together.

The sound Anita makes is worth it alone with the way she moans into Wraith’s mouth, her hands coming to grip Wraith’s hips and draw her close until she can fit her body against hers. Sliding her thigh between Anita’s parted legs where she eagerly starts to grind against it.

There are hungry hands sliding up each other’s bodies, Anita’s hands grabbing at Wraith’s ass and pressing her closer, sliding up her curves and grabbing at where she can. Wraith is no better, undoing the buttons on Anita’s shirt with hunger and untucking it. Her hands slide up her strong form, over her abs and up to her braless chest where Wraith grabs and squeezes just as her teeth sink into Anita’s bottom lip.

“Let me taste you,” Wraith breathes against Anita’s lips, drawing her pierced tongue over Anita’s lips in a playful flick that makes her moan. “I’ll make it quick.” It’s spoken in a hushed tone, breathy as their breath mingles and Anita keeps making the prettiest little sounds in her throat.

A nod is all Wraith needs before her hands are going down to Anita’s belt, quickly working it out of its loops as she starts to kiss down her torso. Leaving heavy black prints from her lips. Wraith makes sure to leave her mark, still not quite satisfied about the girls from earlier. Making sure to bite down and suck on Anita’s skin over her abdomen and hips, paying special attention to the part just above the elastic of her Apex branded briefs.

Anita’s already wet, shown by the darker gray on her crotch. Wraith can’t help but bury her face there against her as she pulls her pants down to mid-thigh, inhaling her scent and hearing Anita laugh above her in an embarrassed fashion. "O c’mon, Ghostie-”

“I like the way you smell.” Wraith murmurs honestly, nosing at the wet spot and moaning low in her throat at the deep scent of sex. “You smell so good...” It’s spoken with a sigh as her tongue drags along the fabric.

But she can’t help herself any longer, hooking her fingers in Anita’s briefs and dragging the elastic down to rest on her pants and exposing her cunt. She takes her time teasing, biting and sucking her way around her inner thighs to leave more and more bruises.

Always so pretty when she’s covered in marks, Wraith thinks. With her dark curls and her smaller lower lips all exposed and glistening from wetness. It only takes Wraith’s hand pressing on her mound to expose her clit, engorged and shiny. Her plump lips seal around it immediately, suckling and letting her tongue do all the talking for her in broad swipes. Paying special attention to letting her piercing flick off the tip and making Anita’s hips jerk.

Anita’s hands grip the sink, pressing her body back into it and gripping onto it for dear life as her head falls forward. Wraith looks up under her lashes, spying how her brow furrows, her teeth biting into her bottom lip to stay quiet even as her hips helplessly try to hump against Wraith’s mouth.

Wraith makes a show of licking up her slickness, from hole to clit and nosing her way against her. She makes sure she moans into her, letting Anita know just how much she loved her taste and scent. It does the job just fine, making Anita’s cheek turn rosy red and her head rolling to the side with a sharp whimper.

Wraith’s hands slide up the back of Anita’s legs, grabbing handfuls of her muscular ass and forcing her to hold her hips still and tilted forward. It provides a good angle for Wraith to mercilessly trace her tongue against her clit, writing her name around it as her nails press into her flesh. Only one thought on her mind with each trace.

Mine.

When Anita cums, it’s with one of her hands clinging to the sink and the other slamming over her mouth as her beautiful cries become muffled. Wraith drinks her down, licking greedily at her slickness and feeling each contract of her cunt with every skim of her tongue. She doesn’t stop licking until Anita’s legs are quaking and she’s murmuring incoherently behind her hand in a frantic way with each strained twitch of her hips.

When Wraith finally stops, she kisses over Anita’s marked thighs where the bruises from her teeth are and scratches from her nails. Just as greedily, she leaves another one near the delicious V shaped markings from the muscles on Anita’s hips. Making sure the bruise is nice and dark despite the whines of protests above her.

By the time Wraith finally stops marking her, she’s standing up and seeing how Anita’s legs shake and her head falls back. Can you really blame Wraith for reaching into her bag to snap a photo of her? The flash makes Anita groan, turning her head to the side with a heavy flush on her face and a huff. “D’ya have to take a picture, really?”

“You always said I should document the things I like.” Wraith practically purrs back, looking down at the developed photo in delight. In it you could see Anita just as beautiful and satisfied as she is now. Covered in lipstick marks and bite marks, her pussy glistening with a thin string of wetness drooling towards her thighs. Her pussy has smears of her lipstick, especially circling her clit. It almost makes Wraith go back on her knees, eager to lick her through another orgasm.

Thankfully for Anita, all Wraith wants is a picture and checking in on her. Helping her back into her clothes, despite her slightly disheveled appearance now while Wraith pauses to reapply her lipstick in the mirror. She can practically feel the hearts fluttering off Anita with the way she looks at her, especially when Anita comes and hugs her from behind, burying her face against Wraith’s neck for the comfort she always seeks after an orgasm.

When they finally make it back out into the club to start dancing again, it doesn’t take very long for hands to start wandering again and for Anita to start grinding against her. By then it’s a rush to call their driver outside with Anita squirming next to Wraith and her not doing much better. Hard to be behaved when your handsome girlfriend is covered in your kiss marks and bite marks and her body still has that healthy glow of ‘just had an orgasm’.

Even the car ride is tense, sexual tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. Wraith’s sure the driver notices, but thankfully they don’t say anything but for them to have a nice night as the two women race into their hotel to get to the elevator. Where once more, they’re handsy and needy, Wraith’s lipstick left lingering on Anita’s lips even as they race down the hall to get to their room.

By the time they finally get inside, shoes are kicked off, bags thrown to the side, and hands are frantic to get on one another. For once, Anita gets the upper hand, managing to scoop Wraith up to throw her onto the bed like it’s their wedding night and she’s about to get her first taste of her.

No words are exchanged despite their combined snarky nature normally wanting them to. Anita’s soft, full lips press over Wraith’s, fitting her body until Wraith’s plush thighs are hugged around her waist and her dress is being shimmied up her body to make way for Anita’s wandering hands. Her calloused hands slide up Wraith’s dress, over her soft skin and over a few raised scars. Dragging her nails back down towards her hips to make her squirm underneath her.

Wraith can hardly breathe between the heavy kisses, the slides of their tongues and the light click of teeth. Her hands frantically work on Anita’s buttons, rolling her hips upwards and managing to get her shirt open and free so she can reach up to cup at her breasts and roll the hardened nipples between kisses. This results in Anita’s hips humping against her in slow grinds, her kisses becoming breathy and more of her lips parted to sigh in pleasure. Plenty of room for Wraith to lick at her tongue.

It takes just a single adjustment of Wraith’s leg slipping between Anita’s instead for her to crack. Anita’s hips helplessly hump against her thigh, her low moan reverberating in Wraith’s mouth and only reminding her just of how wet she was. And it takes just that moment of weakness for Wraith to roll them over and slam Anita’s hands above her head, fingers intertwined with hers.

Wraith straddles her lap just like Anita likes. Sitting up and parting their lips and smirking when Anita grunts in annoyance and tightens her grip on Wraith’s hands. “Wraith-”

“Anita.”

Anita’s brow furrows at the simple tone, meanwhile clearly embarrassed at how disheveled she sounds in turn. Wraith liked it that way. Loving seeing her warm freckled cheeks turn dark red and seeing that grumpy little look on her face yet pure desire racing through her eyes when her eyes drag over Wraith’s form.

Anita squirms underneath her, pushing at Wraith’s arms- something she could easily overpower Wraith in. But when Wraith simply pushes back, quietly telling Anita to stay down without words, her arms stay right where she’s holding them.

Though Anita was physically stronger, she knew who was really the top dog around here.

“There’s my pretty girl. You wanna be my good girl tonight, hm?” Wraith’s voice comes out silken and low, just how Anita liked it. It’s without needing to say does she move her hands from Anita’s, moving off her lap briefly to begin stripping her completely. Carefully unbuttoning and working Anita’s pants and briefs off until she’s naked and squirming under Wraith’s gaze.

Her rings and watch are gingerly taken off with loving hands from Wraith, set to the side and out of the way with all that’s left on her being her chains and dog tags. A look that never fails to make Wraith sigh at her whilst Anita grunts under her now in embarrassment, even with her legs parted with Wraith between them and her body exposed for the umpteenth time with her.

Wraith sighs at her lovingly once again, running her hands along Anita’s thighs and taking in the sight of the prior bruises and lipstick marks left on her. Including the smear of black across her lips from the make out session just held. All marked and hers.

“Can I tie you up tonight?” Wraith starts softly, tracing her nails up Anita’s sides to make her squirm as she chirps out a ‘yes’ in return with an enthusiastic head nod. “Can I record us for later?” Another nod the head, a little shier. If shy was even in Anita’s vocabulary. “You remember your safe words and signals, handsome?”

After a brief clarification and making sure everything was fine, from there it’s tying Anita up. Tying her lying down with her arms above her head tied to the headboard. It’s a minimal tie, not elaborate like Wraith normally liked, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

A click of Wraith’s camera is heard and a whine from Anita follows as Wraith pulls away the camera to see the photo with a small smile on her face. The calm before the storm- even if Anita was already quite marked up. “I needed a ‘before’ picture.”

“You’re an ass.” Anita huffs back, squirming against the red rope when Wraith stalks towards her again. A cold hand inching up her thigh and making Anita instinctively spread her strong legs open. It exposes her cunt, her inner lips blossoming open like a flower and showing her already engorged clit still circled with black lipstick from earlier. Beautiful.

Click.

“Wraith!!!”

Wraith can’t help the chuckle that leaves her, setting her camera to the side finally and crooning. “Can’t help it that you’re so handsome covered in my mark, sweetheart. Can you really blame me for wanting to capture this moment? Thought you wanted me to take pictures of what I loved.”

“If you don’t hurry up and get your ass over here, I’m gonna break these bonds and show you what you’re missing from just pictures, ghostie. I ain’t an art exhibit.” Anita huffs, clearly embarrassed as she arches her back in a beautiful arch and pulls on the ropes. Wraith smirks, setting the camera on the nightstand next to the tablet which she opens up and angles at the bed. Doing it quick so Anita wouldn’t get too squirmy.

It’s Wraith’s turn to strip out of her dress, letting it pull to the ground and hooking her thumbs under her black lace panties and pulling them off nice and slow to make Anita’s mouth salivate at the sight of her. Wraith makes sure to do it with her back facing her, bending over to unhook it from around her ankle just to hear Anita’s whine at the sight of her ass.

When Wraith turns back around, her breath can’t help but catch at the way Anita hungrily looks at her. Her full lips are already parted and inviting, her eyes moving down Wraith’s body to rest on her cunt where black, soft hair rests and a peek of her large clit from her lower lips, with a thin line of hair up Wraith’s abdomen in a happy trail. Her legs were just as soft with hair, something Anita always made a sight of enjoying by nosing at her thighs and calves.

From there, Wraith sets up the harness and strap on. A thick cock that was red and ribbed with beautiful texture and a tapered tip. The base was black, marbling into the shaft and all in all looking akin to a dragon. Big enough Wraith couldn’t circle her fingers around it anywhere but the head. Just like she liked to feel. She also makes sure a vibrator presses inside the harness, turning it on low to begin so Anita would only get squirmy and nothing more.

“You wanna beg for it?” Wraith hums as she approaches the bed, making sure to grab the harness and strap on. The bed creaking under her weight as she pulls herself onto it to first attach the harness to Anita, delighting in her light gasp and roll of her hips at the light vibrations.

Then Wraith moves to straddle her waist, hovering just above her to ensure that Anita didn’t even get the delight of her wetness. Anita grunts, her lips parting and a furrow to her brow, but Wraith catches her quick before she can quip back at her. Gripping her jaw and guiding her eyes back to Wraith’s with a low growl leaving her. “Wasn’t really asking you, Princess.”

Anita was a bit of a struggle when getting her into a sub headspace. It took a bit of pushing, coaxing, and equal amounts of praise until she gave Wraith that look. Even now with her arms tied above her head and her eyes half lidded, Wraith can see how she struggles to keep her control. How she steels her jaw and clenches her teeth.

It takes Wraith leaning in a bit closer, her breath mingling with Anita’s due to their closeness and their noses brushing. “Beg for it.” Growling from Wraith’s lips before Anita finally lets that breath go and her eyes flutter. And Wraith knows she has her then.

“Please,” Anita breathes, her lips parting and her head tilting to chase after Wraith’s lips when she leans back a bit. “Please let me taste you, please ride my face, please- fuck, baby, you smell so good-”

Her whining is successful. Just what Wraith wants to hear.

She pulls herself up, putting one soft thigh on each side of Anita’s head and threading her fingers into the thick curls atop her head to guide her. When Anita’s tongue slides across her and her full lips seal around her clit, it’s Wraith’s turn to whine. Making sure to grip her curls at the root, Wraith holds her head still so she can hump her hips down against her mouth, delighting in how Anita moans and her hands flex above her head, a beautiful expression overtaking her face.

Her dark eyes look up at Wraith half lidded and clouded with lust, her eyebrows knitted and her lips obediently sealed around her large clit to Wraith could practically fuck her face. Smearing her wetness over her lips, her chin, probably spilling down her chin as well. Wraith couldn’t wait to see her ruined.

“That’s my good girl,” Wraith shakily exhales, her gaze turned down towards Anita to see just how well she licks her clean when her hips hold still. Wraith’s thighs shake with each lick, each spelling of Anita’s name over her clit with a distinct flick at the ending of each ‘A’ spelled. When Wraith tugs her hair, Anita goes right back obediently to sealing her lips around her clit, taking whatever Wraith gives her no matter how hard her hips hump.

When Wraith cums, it’s with a breathy, frantic noise falling into a moan. With a tighter grip in Anita’s hair and her back arched, her thighs trembling as Anita licks her through it with her own moans spilling from her lips. Wraith knew she lived for her taste, knowing just how much Anita got off on getting her off.

When satisfied, Wraith sits up higher to get away from the onslaught, pulling Anita’s hair just like she liked to force her head back and for Wraith to see her. She looked beautiful with slickness smeared across her now glossy lips, dribbling down her chin and how Anita’s half lidded eyes look so hungrily up at her.

“Look at you. Such a pretty little thing, hm? Obedient.” Wraith croons. Putting emphasis on her last word to test Anita’s restraint right now- how deep she was in sub headspace.

A fire is lit up in her eyes, but she doesn’t talk back. A good sign, Wraith thinks, as she releases her hair and makes her way down Anita’s body. The vibrator’s controller is carefully turned up to a medium speed, making the soldier underneath her arch off the bed and tug on her rope with a cry and her hips rolling upwards. It makes the thick cock bob with each roll, a sight that makes Wraith drool.

“C’mon, j-just get on with it. I know you want it.” Anita breathes out, trying her best to sound grounded and not as drooly as she looks. Wraith quirks a brow at her, grabbing the lube from the nightstand to work onto the strap, using her other arm to hold down Anita’s hips. It does the trick in making her let out a frustrated sound, only able to clutch at the ropes and bask in her own labored breathing without a single peep from Wraith.

Anita still keeps trying to get a rise out of her, even as Wraith takes her time lubing her up. “Ya want my cock, baby? Want to be full?” Her voice is low, her eyes purposeful when Wraith glances up at her. She’s still got glossy lips, still covered in bite marks, and she’s trying to get a rise out of Wraith, hm?

Gag her.

Shut her up.

Better things to do with her mouth.

Not a bad idea. One that Wraith takes in stride as she plucks her pretty lacy black panties from the bed and sits up, gripping Anita’s jaw and forcing her mouth open with a press of her thumb. She slips the panties in, pressing down on Anita’s tongue and smiling all too sweetly at her. “That’s better. You’re cuter when you’re quiet.” Being spoken with a light, loving pat of her hand on Anita’s flushed, freckled cheek.

Carefully, Wraith sits back on her hips and guides Anita’s dragon styled cock into herself. There’s always a bit of a sting in the stretch, but she kind of liked the pain of it. Absentmindedly, she reaches up towards her styled hair, pulling it from its ponytail and shaking her ebony locks free as the waves spill down onto her shoulders.

The look Anita gives her is reward enough, with her eyebrows knitted and her eyes looking up at her pleadingly with her mouth full of Wraith’s panties. Her fingers twitch above her head, her back straining like she wanted to touch her so bad. Wraith only hums, pretending she doesn’t notice Anita’s whining and whimpers as she eases herself down inch by agonizing inch with little shimmies of her hips.

By the time she’s finally fully seated, sans the more knotted base, she groans like she’s stretching oh so casually forward. Hooking her fingers around Anita’s jaw like she’s about to kiss her when she leans forward, only to forcefully turn her head to remind her of the tablet sitting on the nightstand recording them perfectly all the way down to Anita’s knees.

“Nnh-” Is the only sound Anita can make, a high-pitched whine as her eyes flicker over the screen with her face burning red. Her dark eyes linger lower on the screen where Wraith grinds and bounces her hips on her cock, moaning directly into Anita’s ear and making her eyes roll back with each bounce. Each bounce forcing the vibrator to press directly to her clit, each grind forcing it against her, each breath from Wraith driving her closer and closer.

Wraith knew just how to push Anita’s buttons. Her lips mouthing at the lobe of her ear and lightly nipping, glancing to the side to see how Anita still helplessly watches the screen with flutters of her eyes. She knows Anita is close already, her breathing starting to get labored through her nose and her body trying to fuck up into Wraith with each grind downwards of her hips to fill her up.

“That’s it- good girl, you gonna cum, hm?” Wraith moans in Anita’s ear, ghosting her lips over the shell of her ear and down her lobe. The noise Anita makes is strained and needy, a high pitched ‘mmh!’ and her eyes rolling back into her head as her eyes unfocus from the screen. Her fingers flex on the ropes above her head, her lashes fluttering and her hips jumping as she begins to cum.

“Keep watching,” Wraith hisses low in Anita’s ear, watching her teary gaze turn back towards the screen to see herself cum. Wraith can only imagine the embarrassment coursing through her having to watch herself helplessly cum and hear herself whimper. Wraith can feel each jump of her hips, forcing the cock deeper into her and making her own breath hitch.

From there, Wraith bounces her hips with hisses in Anita’s ear of, “Don’t take your eyes off me.” “You wish you could fuck me, hm? Wish you could make me moan like you did?” “Such a good girl. That’s my princess, let me hear you.”

Anita responds positively to each one, her eyes rolling back into her head upon her second orgasm and Wraith chasing that high with her as she cums again. Making sure to sink her teeth into Anita’s neck to silence her own whimpering and once complete, she pats downwards until she can turn off the vibrator to silence Anita’s over-sensitive sounds.

The panties are removed from Anita’s mouth, a gentle kiss pressed over her lips and the rope removed from her. Another kiss is shared, then another, then Anita chasing after Wraith’s lips with a soft sound in her throat when she dodges to kiss her cheek instead with a gentle ‘shh’ falling from Wraith’s lips.

Aftercare is to be had after turning off the tablet and saving the video. Wraith makes sure to clean Anita up, carefully applying salve to any bruises on her wrists and massaging her hands where she’d flexed them too hard. Even softer kisses are pressed to each bite mark, carefully wiping off lingering lipstick anywhere and Wraith’s voice gently asking if Anita wanted a shower.

Carefully they make their way to the shower with Anita getting in first and Wraith taking the time to wash off her makeup in the mirror. She ties her hair up loosely with a clip to prevent it from getting wet, entering the shower to see how drunken in love Anita’s eyes are when she reaches for her to drag her close to her body. Her taller body preventing the spray from hitting Wraith and instead pounding on her back.

“Hey,” Anita softly murmurs, her voice hoarse and quiet from earlier.

“Hey,” Wraith murmurs back just as soft, pressing a kiss to her collarbone fondly.

They embrace each other in the warm water for a bit, just lightly swaying and spending close intimacy together. Wraith always liked to be close, letting her fingers trace mindless shapes into Anita’s strong back with water dripping down her fingertips. Taking particular interest in a scar on her lower back that makes Anita hum soft and quiet into Wraith’s hair.

“Dropship picks us up tomorrow,” Anita murmurs with a kiss to Wraith’s head when she hums back in disapproval. “Hey, don’t complain. I’m sure ya miss bein’ able to hunt me down.”

“Mmmh.” Wraith hums back, nosing her way against the top of Anita’s breast instead and letting her hands slide back down to her ass to grab it. It makes Anita choke on a small chuckle, even as Wraith sighs back. “Don’t get this much privacy in the showers, though.”

“Thought you liked being a lil’ exhibitionist?”

Wraith huffs out a laugh, turning her head to press her warming cheeks to Anita’s body at being caught.

From there it’s quiet care. Cleaning up each other with Anita being mainly focused on, working out her tense muscles and rubbing her down with expensive soap. Wraith takes her time on her, murmuring apologies for covering her in her lipstick and getting murmured replies back that it was fine. Gentle hands ensuring no dirt left, and even afterwards Wraith still urges Anita back into her arms to hold each other under the warm spray again.

By the time they get out and clothed into pajamas, the hologram clock reads a blaring 4:00 A.M in red lettering. Anita groans, but that’s quickly remedied by them climbing into bed and Wraith drawing Anita’s head to her chest to gently begin stroking along her shaved sides.

Wraith sighs to herself once Anita is soon fast asleep, her breathing even and calm with her breath fanning across Wraith’s chest. They'd go back to the compound, get settled back in and the new season for the Apex Games would start in a week’s time.

And one day...

Wraith turns her gaze down to Anita, smiling softly down at her.

One day they could forget the games and start a life of their own together.

#Voidstrike #Bangawraith #apex lemons #apex legends #Bangalore #Wraith #Bangalore x Wraith #nsft #lemon #princess writing #commissions

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babysizedfics · 3 years

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Roman involuntarily going into littlespace because he's repressing it, cgs comfort him that its ok to be little

so on saturday roman became upset by something, and usually he can cope. but the thing is, in the last few weeks he has been repressing his littlespace A LOT because he felt like he just got his adult life back, and he throws himself 100% into things

he threw himself into littlespace at first and now he threw himself into adult life and ignored his age dreaming. even when he wanted to he forced himself to keep being grownup - or in his teen headspace if he needed to get out frustration

but this time he couldnt actually help it, he accidentally started feeling really little to cope with his negative emotions. it wasnt even that bad what happened, but its the stick that broke the camels back yknow - basically he had to feed vee at snacktime and she got messy and roman complained she was gross then ppl on the blog called him mean for saying it

so roman was suddenly little, and went to sit with his family bc he didnt want to be alone but he still hid being little. he just stayed silent, even while internally he just kept thinking i want daddy i want my daddy i wanna be held i want mommy to say its all okay

then vee fell asleep in mamas lap and logan took her up to bed, and when he returned to the living room with patton and roman he jokingly asked "so i take it snacktime went well going by the applesauce all over her clothes?"

and romans face immediately crumpled and he started crying

it was so sudden and unexpected and out of character, the caregivers were frozen for a moment as roman desperately hid his face in his hands and folded into himself on the couch

when roman cries its very quiet too, so even though he was close to sobbing he bit his lip hard so he didnt make a sound and was just sniffling and tiny whimpers kept escaping

the caregivers hearts broke a little

logan immediately crouched in front of ro asking "roman what happened? why are you upset sweetheart?"

meanwhile patton jumped up from his chair and quickly scooched over on the couch to be right next to ro and put an arm around him "honey, can you tell us what you need?"

and at that roman just whimpered "daddy" in his super little voice, strained from holding back his cries

"oh little prince" patton cooed sounding heartbroken, he wiggled his free arm under romans legs and shuffled him into his lap in seconds. "shh, it's okay, daddys got you baby"

roman tensed and logan gave patton a stern look at the nickname slip, and patton hurriedly apologized - its just natural for him to use that word

usually roman is a tad insecure about the fact that hes taller than patton when hes in psttons lap bc hes worried it looks weird, but he didnt have the energy to worry this time and just lets his daddy cradle his head to his shoulder and rock him as romans cries got harder to hold back. it felt such a relief to finally be little and let his daddy take care of him, but it was v overwhelming since it was basically involuntary

logan swiftly joined them on the couch, pressing himself right up against patton and rubbing his hand firmly over romans back and shushing him gently and reassuring "good boy. it's okay, let it out. its okay to cry little one" because he knows how embarrassed roman gets about crying, especially when little

but then roman choked through his tears "n-not sposed to be - be l-little!" then sniffled and whimperd again and buried a sob in pattons shoukder

and logan calmly managed to coax him to talk about why, in the same way he coaxed vee into evaluating why she thought diapers werent for her in labd. lots of gentle prodding into why roman answers the way he does, why is he supposed to be big, why is being little bad

patton knew to stay quiet during this process, just squeezing roman to encourage him to answer, and kissing his wet cheek when he says something that makes pattons heart ache

then eventually logan got roman to admit that hes been forcing himself to be bigger because he thought he should be big to not bother the caregivers and to help look after vee and so he is "more of a real grownup" when hes with his friends

the thing is once you manage to break into that well of emotion that romans been repressing, he cant stop it from flowing. so once they reached that conclusion roman just kepts rambling (all while little and stumbling over his words)

"i i been tryna be a big big boy and big brother for vee vee cos shes a baby and needs a big brother... b-but i dont wanna be that big all the time, its too big, i wanna be a little big brother again. too much big"

then patton sighed "oh sweetheart, we know youve been much more grownup recently but we thought it's because you wanted to be big"

" i do!" roman argued loudly, more tears building "b-but little too a-and... and i dunno" he finished in a sob, and patton quickly pulled him closer to his chest and rocked him

logan realised roman is too little to have such a complex discussion about tricky emotions, so he promised that the following day they would all have a big grownup talk about how to help roman find a better balance.

"but for tonight" logan whispered, leaning down and kissing romans head and cupping his jaw gently and looking at him gently "mommy and daddy are going to take care of our sweet little prince. how does that sound, little one?"

romans lip wobbled and he nodded and launched himself into mommy lap to give him a tight hug

so that night logan and patton gave their full attention to taking care of roman and helping him be extra little - they watched disney movies and held their little prince and encouraged his headspace, singing along to the songs and poking roman playfully to get him to giggle and sing along too but much quieter than usual.

patton even reminded roman when to go use the potty, not because roman would ever have an accident but because its another way of showing roman that daddy is taking care of him and to reinforce that younger headspace that ro so clearly needed that night

they were all squished onto the one couch - its big enough for them to spread out but logan and patton sat shoulder to shoulder, with roman laid across pattons lap and his head on logans shoulder. with daddy letting roman play with his fingers as a fidget and logan scritching his nails gently at the base of romans neck which makes him sleepy

and every once in a while, logan would lean down and kiss romans temple so gentle, seemingly randomly but actually its that logan kept thinking about how little he knows about romans mental state recently. and whenever he thought "god i wish i knew what was going on in his head", he would lean down and kiss it in the hopes it plants the thought in romans mind that his parents love him

roman was actually very low energy - usually his littlespace is defined by playfulness and loudness and running and jumping and dancing, but on that specific night he was very quiet, very sleepy, and very very cuddly. he really just needed to feel protected because it was such a vulnerable state for him, being involuntarily little, so just letting his caregivers take full control and take care of him and look after him was exactly what he needed

he would never ever say this to anyone and the caregivers agreed to not tell vee or anyone else, but i think they actually had snacks at one point and roman was just so muted and sleepy and clingy that he didnt wanna let go of daddys hand to get some popcorn even though when patton asked roman admitted he was hungry... so logan offered to feed him, and roman very shyly accepted and let logan put lil pieces of popcorn in his mouth

he thought it was embarrassing, but it actually gave him more energy both because popcorn is yummy and because he found it fun and got kindve giggly - to which patton of course told him he was adorable

after the first movie though vee actually woke up from her nap regressed and the caregivers took it in turns looking after her while the other stayed and cuddled roman extra tight

but soon vee was put in bed for good for the night - roman actually got a little upset again because he assumed since mommy was putting the baby to bed, that meant it was romans bedtime too and he would have to be all alone in his room.

but then logan returned to the living room with the baby monitor in hand and immediately asked "so what movie next, sweetheart?"

bedtime be damned, the caregivers stayed up watching disney films with their little one until he fell asleep snuggled in his mommys lap

just imagine those really gentle vibes when you fall asleep on the couch as a kid and your parent gently wakes you up and leads you up to bed. Exactly like that, patton very gently woke roman up once the credits were rolling like an hour after roman dropped off to sleep

"mmh... daddy.. wha?" roman mumbled sleepily

and patton smiled, happy that roman was still letting himself be little. and of course in that moment he decided there was no way roman was going to sleep alone that night.

"c'mon honey, up up"

roman whined as logan helped push him off his lap and stand up

"i know sweetie. but you can sleep in my bed tonight, isn't that exciting?"

as soon as roman heard that it gave him more motivation to let his daddy hold his hand and carefully lead him upstairs to pattons room while roman is just blinking sleepily and letting his cg take full control and take care of him

logan helps to set up romans njghtlight in pattons room while patton helps roman brush his teeth, and then gives roman one last hug and big soft kiss on his head. "we can talk about it when youre big, but i promise you can be little for as long as you want, ok?"

roman sighed sleepily "ok mommy"

"good night little one, i love you" another forehead kiss

"love you mommy"

and then logan went off to his own bed while patton got him and roman settled in his bed for the night. logan honestly knew he wasnt the best person to take care of roman overnight because he really isnt a cuddly sleeper but roman really is, so he trusted pstton to be the primary caregiver and cuddle roman in bed

meanwhile logan kept vees baby monitor in his room which isnt how it usually goes. usually its in patton room bc patton is a light sleeper and likes to be the one to take care of his baby if she wakes up in the night, but logan took on that job for that night so that patton could focus fully on roman

...

the next day roman was still little but in the playful bouncy way again almost instantly! then when he grew up later in the day the three of them had a serious talk about how to help roman feel better about his littlespace/grownup life balance

logan broke it down into exact hours for roman - they realised that there was 20-25 hours every week where roman had to be grownup for various commitments and responsibilitiea. and the other 148 hours? (ish bc i cant remember the maths lol) logan and patton assured roman he could be little for all of those other hours if he really wanted to be and they would be completely okay with it

and seeing it broken down into numbers and basic stuff really helped roman , he is still going to struggle a little with letting himself be extra little when he needs it, and itll be tricky for him to find a good balance of little vs big because he gets so invested in one headspace so easily, but its backed up by those numbers and by the knowledge that his caregivers really do love to take care of him

#little/big concepts

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juwon-ah-moved · 3 years

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hi friends! this year had its highs and lows and i’m ready to let go of it, but i won’t let go of the beautiful people i met on here in the past months, and those i already knew and who keep bringing joy onto my dash! i got into a new fandom that brought me many joys and new beautiful people into my life and i couldn’t be happier about that! you’re all cool so here’s my humble thank you to you ♡

i don’t follow that many people, i kinda find comfort in seeing the same familiar faces on my dash, but i have been trying to look around more because honestly especially the (lgbt) fandom for asian dramas/”bl” has so many nice and funny and talented people that it’s a pity not see who else is on here! so here’s to hoping i’ll meet even more awesome people in 2021 :^) also, if i forgot anyone, i’m really sorry! and to those of you who i for whatever reason haven’t followed back but who are always around, i want you to know i see you and appreciate you showing up in my notes, it genuinely makes me happy and know that you can talk to me any time! love you! <3

okay i talk too much, here we go:

@amasawaseiji aaaa edo!! now we pretty much only talk outside of tumblr but we did meet on here and !!!! ur the only italian i respect jdskn ur seriously one of the nicest and funniest people i know and ur a very dear friend to me, i know i always tell u but it never hurts to hear so: i love you!!!! i hope 2021 will be a good year for u and that we can finally see each other again, i will fight covid :(

@petekaos rahul, what can i say!! i feel so lucky to have gotten the chance to know u this year, we had so many never-ending convos, on here, on twitter, we shared heacanons (ram and bohn friendship forever, @ perth Listen To Us) and you’ve been a great friend to me, you’ve always supported me even when i was at my worst and i will honestly never forget that. ur kind and funny and we can go from talking about serious stuff to laughing about u quoting gandhi and that’s friendship to me! u also have read i think 2 of my fics before i posted them at this point and both fics mean the world to me and the fact that u supported me through the process of posting them when i was so insecure also means a lot to me! as do all our conversations about my engineer, manboss, petekao, etc. just... i love you! never forget to take care of urself <3

@pangwave daaaawn u are such a kind and strong person and i really appreciate how u were there for me when i was questioning earlier this year. i know u understand a lot of what i was going through and in general we have stuff in common that i know if i talk to u about, ur gonna understand. i wish u the best always and we should catch up one day, please know i am always here for u, for anything! and u have such good taste and i love seeing u on my dash :) !

@yioh yuraaaaa im gonna say it again i need to find a nickname for u. u have the worst one for me but it is so endearing at this point that i love it sjdsk ur such a nice presence on my dash and i like coming by ur askbox every once in a while bc first of all i love you, secondly u always have the best replies to asks. i can’t explain it ur just nice and ur energy is amazing !!! ur art is also so pretty and warm and makes me feel... home. i wish u the best with uni and with ur life and aaaalso ur The cherry magic blog to me. see cherry magic? think of yura. also given always makes me think of u. i associate so many little pieces of media with u bc ur just so lovely when u talk or blog about the shows and movies and stuff u like that when i see those things i immediately get reminded of u idk!!

@gigiesarocha cata!! even if we haven’t talked that much, u are such a light on my dash and i always love seeing ur posts, be it gifsets or reblogs. u have amazing taste! when u said u still listen to the playlist i made for u i was so happy, im glad u liked it :’) keep being the sweet person u are!

@morksuns sumaya!! u beautiful human!! it’s always so nice to see u on my dash, i know this will sound like a silly reason but for example i love ur tagging system, it’s so satisfying to look at u tagging everything. i just think it’s neat. u have great taste in shows and great opinions (both on Good Shows and on Bad Shows/Rep) and i know i can trust u! also, ur very pretty and i love ur moodboards! i hope ur 2021 will be filled with good things <3

@lesbian-earn may! oh my god okay, i literally have been following u for 2 seconds but! we’re getting to know each other a little and talking to u is really so nice and ur such a sweet person!! ur support for my itsay fic warmed my heart so much and so does ur general kind words and OFC the cat pics u send me. what a blessing!! i wish u the best of luck with ur exams and i hope we can talk more because i already am fond of u! <3

@brightwin jelly!! u are such a warm and kind light in this fandom and i honestly enjoy even just seeing ur url, before i see any post, because u just bring so much positivity with u! ur gifs are so pretty and i can always tell they’re yours immediately. i miss them and u tbh!! i hope ur doing well! :)

other people i love following a whole lot: @fushiguroo @labontas @mrchicsaraleo @speedrunsuicide @ikarosapollo @panncakes @makotokyoqoku @burfee @class2clown @metawwin @leoyunxi @asianmelodrama @lesbianspeedy @earthfluuke @wjmild @lakornladies @torfight @khaotungthanawat

honorable mentions for my football sideblog (@franckkessie): @captvandijk @montosmadman @hendos

#follow forever #nico.txt

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yamagucji · 3 years

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a series of thank you’s i’ve been meaning to give for a while now. please note i couldn’t get everyone bc im smol brained and im forgetful :(( also its vedy long so i added a readmore link but if it’s okay then i can remove it!

i would’ve preferred to go to your inboxes/dm’s but im scared t🤢umblrs going to glitch on me if i do it again a ha ha

@doublemoons

i remember you sent in my first ever request and i was SO happy like🥺 my account had no visibility on week 1 but then you somehow found my blog and since then you’ve been supporting me. i love the aesthetic of your blog and i always look forward to your rb’s because they so cute and insightful !! ik we haven’t talked much but i definitely perceive u as a gentle person here’s 1k hearts for you and you only <3

@insanityqueen

please i was *intense squealing* and *happy noises* when you said you wanted to be mutuals :’) im definitely uhhh way too immature for u but you still stick with all the caps and !!! i send you😭 you’re such an interesting, talented person. day 1 you got me HOOKED with your art and im gonna say this again,, i have never seen skin look soo s o f t painted. im really grateful for your company and all your cats and the hinata art you made me🥺 i am not still thirsting over it i swear and then you sent me pieces of your writing and i def expected hc’s but then BOOM🧍‍♀️ im so amazed by your writing. also you are vv pretty i hope you know that

@zephyrria

matching heart memes matching heart memes😾 i don’t talk to you as much but our main form of communication is literally exchanging heart memes w/o a word,,, if that isn’t true love idk what is :// anyway i love our little convos so much it always brightens my day! and omg lets not forget when you made me a drabble back😳 like wha- HUH !! i was so touched i rlly went boom boom woosh bc no ones ever written me one back and i!! that yamaguchi gives me so much comfort. you give me sm comfort, thank you bub <3

@beanst0ck

hehe my first tumblr crush😼 as soon as i deactivated my reading account to my a writing blog i was like “ok bean is on my top to-follow list” like i thought you were so cool and i was vv shy to interact with you🥺 and YOU STILL ARE COOL!! your works are really amazing and i am vv much still in love w my matchup w suga :’)

@killuababie

HHHH GRR BORK BORK I LUB U B NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BHH💓✨ bro,,,, when we switched over to insta it was WILD like— our sense of humor? matched. immaculate. please i love seeing all the memes u send me it makes my day so much like u don’t understand😭 and our convos really go chaos sometimes gkfjdj i love it. u need to pull up and play among us w me sometime 😡

@bewwybun

m-my first spouse🥺 even tho it was a joke the first time and i said sike fkdjdjdj but you still accepted my dino chimken nuggie ring hehe <3 bub your are literally the CUTEST HHHHH LIKE,,, cuteness overload !!! i love talking to you sm and our little exchange of heart memes make the butterflies in my tummy go ✨

@mei-writes

may🥺 imy bub i hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. still very grateful for that time you pulled through to check which of my links weren’t working. and there’s a LOT. like the fact that you took time out of your day for me still baffles me. anyway im lomve you ik we don’t talk as much but you’re still a valued moot to me. im offering u free headpats hehe

@kozsma

hi maria👉👈 you’re so wonderful and rlly amazing w your smaus. absolutely smitten over our chaotic conversations fkfjd we haven’t talked in a while but if you see this just know that i’m here for you <3 take some self care okay? hope you’re doing good bub

@tsukkeisimp

dalia, you wondering being💞 please what did i do to deserve your love >;( we don’t talk much but we have exchanged heart memes before and you’re always out here supporting me whenever you can and like!! tysm bub. i hope you’re feeling better from the last time we interacted, and please do take good care of yourself!

@satorispup

can’t believe you made a reputation of having a piss kink. what power. what energy >>> anyway it’s fun seeing your chaotic energy on my feed/tl. sometimes i won’t even look at the user and say yeah💔 that’s hero alright gkfjdj also you’re so cute what the heck😡😡

@tobiokvgs

[ insert 100 hearts ] this for u bub. im still going crazy over your tsukki lipbalm piece like i was so FLUSTERED you really did that huh😭 you’re so nice and sweet, ty for giving me headbonks as well im really glad to get them😌 hope you have an amazing day bub, and take care!!

@bunnyuuji

cutecutecutest bean ever🥺 you have such wonderful works and im truly in love with your writing😌 also you’re so SWEET WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U GKFJDJ literally you weren’t obligated to stop by my ask and check in but u did >:(

@yanderepunkin

hehe ik we haven’t interacted in such a long time but im including you!! bc i appreciate you!! i know you’ve supported me a lot especially when i just started this blog and im really thankful for it. also uhhh im still not over accidentally turning off anon when i was- yeah😿 i wish you all the love in the world, and please do take gentle care of yourself 💓

@ahkaahshi

frannn👁👁🤲 yes im gonna start with how big brained you are. your passion for textiles and improving the environment is vv cool to me. and then there’s the fact you write these hq characters so well. yes i am absolutely still living for your character analysis. i am thriving off of them!! here’s me manifesting kita and/or sakusa to show up in your dreams hehe

@sachirou-senpai

i hope you dont mind me sending u stuff every now and then! anyway im in awe of your writing and art skills. you brought a realistic yamaguchi and i ascended😳 i genuinely think you’re such a cool person but also please take breaks!! ik it’s such an overused phrase but i genuinely mean it. i care u <3

@kenmakodzu

you’re so sweet and you do really be sending me back some heart memes😳 i go BOOM BOOM yaya that’s more to my collection;) also you and your hq anon interactions go WILD omg it really does make my day more interesting whenever i see them😂 also i do be seeing some of ur chaotic energy on my dash and i am HERE for it

@tsukkisbean

hemlo clara🥺 d-do you remember me gkdjshsjs i think its been a while since we interacted. you’re so sweet and AHH lmao did u know we were in a poly with wiss😔💔 yeah❤️ n e way i hope you’ve been alright these past few weeks, and if not, please get some break!

@atsunflower

miya twin supremacy😡 can’t believe you made me swerve over to osamu’s lane because of your amazing writing. how could you. the mf audacity. i rlly do fell in love with that piece do so THAMK U and that also goes for the support you’ve given me💗

@lespaghetti

ozzy👁👁🤝 ngl our conversations have been top tier im glad i got to uhmm,,, get some of these *thoughts* out of my head. you’re such a sweet little bean!!! that art/sketch you did with the purple (?) themed uniforms was really cute. im glad to have u as my moot and *cough* my vip reader *cough*

@sleepykarabou

our heart meme streak was strong until school happened😔 but i really enjoy them tho!! it’s very calming talking to you (fun, but also vv calming idk that’s how i feel) loving the brainrots we give each other of our favs from time to time :’) also omg OSRRY im barely active in the server please spare me😿 im lomve u

@nerdybreadcollaborative

gee!! AHHHH KGFJJD GRRR u sweet bean oh my goodness. where do i start- ??? i’ve already gushed so much abt your writing but here we go again; i love your writing so much and your attention to the little details is so great. they flow so well and i hope u get more visibility bc it’s what u deserve!! also please take care of yourself and don’t work too much u nerdy bean

@nishinoya-is-baby

ely my plant kinnie, my spouse (?) and also the blog that i dump my h word thots on😭❤️ ahhh im lomve you, you’re amazing. from your writing, to your makeup skills, and your room, the talent really ✨jumped out✨thank you for supporting me so much, i genuinely appreciate it. i hope we can stay moots despite me being busy gkfjdj anyway take care bbie don’t work too much okay?

@art0saurus

TATE😤 the amount of hq brainrot you’ve fed me is astronomical. idk how you keep coming up with such good ideas but im all for them!! i love your writing so much and the plots are so *chefs kiss* (yes im still gushing over mermaid!bokuto). thank you so much for sending some bits of positivity into my life, im really grateful for it :’)

@dorkyhaikyu

EL!😼 you sweet bean. wish i could bombard ur asks but school is saying no </3 you’re such a sweet mutual and your writing is absolutely amazing. still kinda hurt over that angst u made💔 but anyway i loved it sm. also please wear safer shoes next time on big events so u dont get any more BLISTERS kgjdjdh jkjk

@chickenwingspiker

nashnashnash🥺👉👈 wth you’re so cute and even cuter with the little emoticons u put in my asks. i really appreciate you taking time out of your day to check in on me. i think your works are really heckin cool, im still very into that sock agenda one and the akaashi fic AHH i love them sm. i hope that u have better experiences with online learning and i really wish you all the best on ur art journey <3

@miyastrology

did u forget abt our walk to the strawberry field😿 jkjk heyyy atlas!! im lomve your theme and your writing. i have the urge to say you’re as sweet as strawberry bc im unoriginal like that💔 let’s just pretend i put something kute :’( n e way u are vv cute, make sure to take care of yourself ok!!

@derpeedoo

your rb’s and comments on ppl works... i just... my heart is full. im complete. i go absolute doki doki for you. you’re such a genuine person and you give people so much love❤️ here’s an unlimited supply of my love to you bc you deserve it. ty for all the cute questions btw🥺

🕊 anon - still wondering if ur one of my already-moots or not😳 but anyway dove anon i have a lot to say,,, like how ?? do u go “ok let’s check in on aaron today hehe” like am i interesting??😭 i feel kinda bad ngl you really don’t have to talk to me. but nevertheless im really appreciate of all the support you’ve given me. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and you do all these fun stuff like photography which is amazing. here’s the biggest THANK YOU i could ever give <3 ps. your art is CUTE and AMAZING @bee-kins

@simping-for-tendou

do i??? spam your feed??😭 you’re always liking my posts and i feel so sorry for spamming but also vv appreciate of all the interaction i’ve had with you!! im very glad i got to ask you qotd and stuff because i got to know that you like plants as well!! thank you for sharing plant facts with me, it really made my day. i genuinely think you’re such an awesome and big brained person for knowing all those facts🥺👉👈

@wissaaltje

ngl i was very intimated by you bc of all your angst and really good works which is probably why i never reached out to you sooner😿 ur my uhhh third spouse <3 but anyway your CHAOTIC ENERGY is thru the roof i love that sm and your writing is so mf beautiful i wish more people got to see it😡 i will gib you flower soup and muddy pie to make you feel better ;) jkjk but you’re very amazing and i hope you know that!

@smolbludandelions

hehe you’re in here😼 thank you ???? for supporting me even tho you’re not obligated??? like wh- i- bub🥺🤲 you have all my heart and i rlly rlyy want to stop by your inbox and give you heart memes but me why >;( i hope you have the most amazing day(s) of your life because you deserve it SO much.

@tadashi-simp

FINALLY someone i can simp over yamaguchi with😭 ik we haven’t talked much but AH i love the conversations we’ve had so far and all that insight you gave me about the new wanda film (truly a blessing bc i was so genuinely confused gkfjdj).

@oikaw-ugh

just. JOLLIBEE. can’t believe one of our first interactions was u sending me chain mail smfh i cannot believe you😭 anyway po i appreciate you so much na kaka tawa ako sa mga msgs mo and all the good vibes u radiate. mag bisaya unta ko nimi pero baka mag nosebleed ako😿 im losing my native languages it’s not even funny anymore but when i got to talk to u in my mother tongue, i felt a bit more at home. thank you bub <3

@makemealive

hihi👉👈 idrk what we first talked about, i think it was spending vacation in the galapagos islands??😭 riding turtles??? what a great way to start our friendship :’) i rlly think you’re cool and i just,,,, admire u from afar- yeah. sorry this message is too chaotic but anyway u might not have a green thumb but look at you growing potatoes accidentally😌 anyway i think you’re cool i just haven’t said it before because im s Hy

@lostsealscreams

seal, bub, i genuinely care about you. you’re such a sweet person. i know we haven’t interacted much but im looking forward to more conversations with you!! please find little fun things to do... maybe do some self appropriation if you can, bc you deserve it. maybe even treat yourself... or any self care tasks that make you feel better. i care about you a lot, im just an ask/dm away if you wanna talk about anything at all💕💞✨

@hqgardenia - jkjk this is my spam account idk why i put this here but here probably bc im dumb as fuck

#cupid; talks!#queuepid

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radiovisual · 3 years

Text

(( quick, post the introspective baby thoughts before all the mutuals wake up--

(( honestly like... im gonna try not to get Into it bc this post is abt my Alastor, but to preface, i just gotta say. The way fandom usually tends to approach the concept of canon characters having Babies has always Severely weirded me out, and i only recently figured out Why, and how exactly to put it into words.

(( its by no means a bad thing--its just fictional fun, i know!--but the portrayal of pregnancy and surprise children always being a very "oh no, look at this pregnancy test! Im PrEgNaNt, this is a travesty! I HAVE to keep it though, because everyone else wants me to so we can have a little tiny version of me to dote on a get into shenanigans about heehee haha!" Is... frustrating. To say the least.

(( and its... important to me, that You all know that when i talk about my alastor having kids, or wanting kids, that that's not the way I look at it. Thats not at all the way i envision it, or look at it. In another case of me being Classic Lil Old Me, a lot of these feelings i give Alastor are me projecting my own experiences with the topic on him, and me taking the opportunity to live them vicariously.

(( Alastor looked up to his mother, and by extension, his aunts and grandmother so, so much. Growing up he saw them all go through a lot of hardship, and still doing what they could to take care of their children, to keep them happy and safe, and to help them feel free and boundless--like they could go out in the world and do anything they could dream of. And he also saw mothers who clearly weren't ready to be mothers. Women who resented their children, and often only coasted by giving them the bare minimum, or were downright cruel to them. These experiences in his childhood were very formative for him as a person, and they sculpted his feelings on the prospect of having children quite a bit--in having seen both the best and the worse, he made the conscious choice that when he had children one day (never if--always w h e n), he would take these lessons he learned from watching others, and that he would use them to do his damndest to give his child the best, happiest childhood possible.

(( the main reason he never got around to it was because he was so apprehensive around men--particularly the ones stemmed from how his father was. His primary source of information on how fathers were was in his own--a man who was inexplicably possessive, volatile, and unforgiving, who expected to have total control over the lives of both the mother and child at all times, regardless of marital, living, or financial status. He expected everything to belong to him simply by virtue of having added a single ingredient to the family pot. And while they were less drastic or important in his formation of these feelings, Alastor noticed a watered down version of this mentality in pretty much every adult man he met in his entire life--and it didnt sit well with him in the slightest.

(( an overbearing, abusive father who refuses to back off would throw a major wrench in his plans to give his child a worry-free life, as you can imagine. As would financial troubles--though he would admit, choosing to pursue a career over family was moreso an excuse to keep his mind of his father anxieties--and the fact that he was just too nervous to try to find a solution to that problem.

(( and then he died. And he never got the chance to go through with any of his plans. That lost opportunity, that grief over wasting his chance, was another othe the puzzle pieces in the collage of grievances the spurred his explosive reaction to arriving in hell, and the destruction and ruin that followed.

(( he doesn't know it, but because ive decided to go through with making him half hellborn, ive also decided that he does have the potential to get pregnant still--just to sooth my own aching heart. Even if it never happens on this blog, just the potential being there makes me happy. And should be ever find out--he'd be very happy too. And far more eager to actually pursue that wish of his, likely without much thought to how being in Hell will complicate matters and make his goal that much harder to achieve.

((If it happened, whether or not hed regret it would depend quite a bit on the specifics of the situation--but that regret would always be for failing to think it through, and forcing his innocent child to live a life condemned without any way out. Not for realizing he didnt really want children. He's spent his whole life thinking about it. Hed never expect it to be easy, and he believes that fact is important to the experience--and perhaps indeed even the point. That he should be able to handle all of the bad things, so that his child wont be the one suffering through them.

#{ ooc }#{ headcanons }#{ alastor }#(( sorry folks im emotional #(( excuse the typos as usual. my brain goes to fast for my thumb

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woozi · 3 years

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l&r shua and specially studio choom l&r shua... i still have no idea how i survived that, also it gave us blue hair cheol too <3 ... him sleeveless with blue hair, there are so many happy things just from this cb jdjsksskks i adore it.

wonshua fr were something else during l&r... omg after school, I'm guessing you've been into kpop way before me. anytime any clip from 17tv pops up i'm just ' they're so smol here they're so cute ' but also most of the time i have no context as well it's djjdsjskks. idk why but svt club is still something i find myself watching again i really liked its concept and them talking and sharing their thoughts it's very simple but also heart-warming.

is it creepy if i say i kind of did sghjkk i actually got to know you are interested in got7 recently when i ended up clicking the links in your bio. i swear im not a weird stalker jdjeekke i've been following your got7 blog way before than this one djdjdjjddj i only found this svt one recently after i decided to completely move back to tumblr and started following svt accs. I didn't know both blogs were you for a long time jddjdkd i apologize if it does seem lil creepy JDJDKSKSLS

jinyoung and mark are my biases, my ults actually <3 and yess i'm keeping up w/ their solo projects even more than before 😭 it's so jdjdkdkd. 2017 was the year i started listening to kpop and around that time or lil later i came across ' you are ' this song is so dear to me i loved it in first listen, its lyrics i love its lyrics sm i made everyone i know listen to it dhjddk yet i didn't dive in deeper bc i was caught up with other group at that time but slowly I started watching their content from 2018. it's like got7's been w/ me since the start & at the same time not </3 but look, lullaby and more importantly spinning top came and everything changed with that album it's so goood from then i started keeping up with their music and check their cbs. i knew jype was meh even when i didn't stan them but i didn't know to what extent, i only got to know after 2019. so far it's all so good and i hope it stays like that. all of their different companies treat and promote them nicely 🥺.

with svt it was instant love i got to know abt them during march 2019 ig, their songs grew on me so fast and boom by the time may came i was a carat, with got7 it was gradual love, it increased lil by lil it's nice but i do wish i could've stanned them earlier. the only cb experience as an official birdie i have is nbtm and last piece 😭 anyway both of these groups are very dear to me not just musically but emotionally too. i love them very much 😔.

also omg those are some of the great artists!! i honestly have no idea how khh and krnb are i mostly listen to kpop and kbands more. i actually listen to a lot of artists but regularly only zayn, svt, got7, the rose (ik we're talking abt kpop but i can't leave zayn out of this djdjdkdk he's the first ever artist i have stanned <3)

also onewe, n.flying, a.c.e, gaho ( i love his voice <3) woodz, day6. yk when you want new music but also something which you'd instantly enjoy otherwise you don't want new music sghjk, when i feel like this i just go to any of their discography. also special mention to hoppipolla and lucy bc they always bring something new to the table i love them for it. i love these artists but honestly i listen to them when i am in mood. i listen to gotsvt and zayn the most at the end of the day. goodnight <3 i love talking to you too 🥺🥺🥺 also feel free to answer late when you're free. hoping i made sense in this one and answered everything bc i am too sleepy rn fjdjkd - 🪂

BLUE HAIRED COUPSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH THE RIPPED ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!1

iconique if u ask me <3 i heard lnr was indeed a good era for everyone!! wasn't it also cheol's first cb after his break? y'all must've had Fun fun

yes i have 😭 i grew up w koreans so... i guess that's also an influence. i got into kpop on my own volition during 4th grade though, so that's prob 2009/10??? GOD I FEEL SO ANCIENT RN!!!! honestly i still dk what 17tv was about i feel like we were just watching streams of some boys w no context as well 😭 AND YES OMG I GET THAT!! svt club is super chill and it's a great way of learning more abt the members!

JKDFJKKJDFFDKJ HELP!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT OH MY GOD YOU WERE IN MY G7 BLOG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO EMBARRASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i've mentioned last time, got7 got me back into kpop and consequently tumblr 😭😭😭 i 'left' tumblr too and was just checking in occasionally, so when i made that g7 sideblog i was WAY behind the times and my first edits were so fucking- 😭 everything about me then was also so performative idk why i felt the pressure to be in on the club 😭 why were you not annoyed with me then 😭 i'd block me if i saw me on the dash KJFKJFDKJDF thank god i got over it though (or should i be.. i'm a menace on the dash now <3 KJDKKJDFKJF) AND NOOO OMG it's not creepy at all. i put those links in for people to see them after all!! and i'm actually kind of honored you followed me even w/o knowing its me <3 i feel like i've passed the vibe check JJFDKJKJFD do you also follow my main 👀 i rmb someone greeting me here on my bday who said the exact same thing you did 😭

U LIKE OLD MAN JINYOUNG 😭😭😭 ok that makes sense w ur svt bias line tbh <3 i like jinyoung a lot too he's such a smug pain in the ass <3 ALSO MORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i l*ve mark oh my god i- i know i keep saying this... but ur taste <3 AND YOU ARE 😭😭 THE ERAS YOU DISCOVER/GET INTO GROUPS ARE SOOOO GOOD </3 you are was so meaningful to them, and i'm still so incredibly proud of them for this regardless of commercial success. also what group were u into that time omg 👀 I ALSO GOT INTO THEM DURING SPINNING TOP ERA KJFDKJFDKJFJKFDJKFD WHY ARE WE SO SIMILAR!! u seem to like jaebeom's songs a lot <3 AND MS LULLABY!!! oh my god that's my favorite era <3 and yeah, so true bestie, i couldn't be happier for them they're doing FAR better than they have ever had compared to when they were in that shitty company. i'm still so amazed how they pulled all of this off though. jaebeom's must've went thru loads of papework he was prob so determined to show that old man what they are capable of FDJKDFJKD

NAURRR OMG IT'S SO CUTE HOW U PUT IT THAT WAY!! and i'm sure you'll get to experience more cbs with the 7 <3 they were already hinting at it yesterday on twt JKFDJKJKFD

OHHH THAT'S COOL!!! i haven't had a chance to listen much to kbands now, and if u ask me abt them the first ones that come to mind are ft island and cnblue bc im a kpop hag 😭 OH WAIT MAYBE DAY6 for the new ones?? my friends have also been recommending n.flying, the rose, and onewe to me. which bands do you listen to? and zayn??????? <3 ur so right abt that DFKJKJDFFDKJFD also omg go listen to khh they changed my life <3 i can give u a playlist if u'd like!! <3

OH WAIT THERE GOES THE BANDS FKDGKJKJF i usually reply paragraph by paragraph without reading the whole ask so JDFKJDFJK WAIT WOODZ????????????????????????? HELLO???????????????????? I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S SO SEXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he's so cute too if that helps </3 ALSO MOOD I CANT BRING MYSELF TO LISTEN TO NEW MUSIC NOWADAYS EVEN IF I WANT TO BC OF THE SAME EXACT REASON 😭 the way we get each other is so- and i've never heard of hoppipolla omg i'll go listen to them now!! indeed <3 gotsvt is our home <3

and nooo u are so cute omg </3 and don't feel pressured to respond immediately to me as well!! i'm a v late replier but i'll always reply JKJKFDJKFD AND DW everything u said made perfect sense <3 i hope u get/got a good night's rest!! and that you'll have an awesome day ahead <3

#didn't wanna risk losing my tags again so i'm giving u a novel this time around JKDFJKJKFDJKD #anon #🪂 anon #y.ask #long post

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xazz · 3 years

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Moth Wings 5

Pairing: AltMal, Altair+Desmond Rating: Explicit Tags: vampires, romance, servant AU, music AU, fluff, angst, flangst Status: WIP

Double update bc it’s a spooky story for a spooky period of time :,)

Also now tumblr has access to the first full chapter of Moth Wings that Patreon has already enjoyed for a while now. If you wanna get ahead it’s all available on Patreon which you can find on my main blog.

The next day Altair only played the violin quietly. He didn’t want Malik to hear and Desmond liked the music. Malik didn’t bother him that day, or the next, thankfully.

His hand strength was increasing now. And he was starting to develop callouses on his fingers again. Thankfully. It made playing easier.

It didn’t get him any closer to getting Desmond to talk. When Desmond wanted music he mimed playing the violin. That wouldn’t do. He needed to get Desmond to start talking. He needed to show progress to the mistress and master. That he was doing right by them. That he wasn’t fucking up their son. Of course he also bitterly thought if they were really worried about the state of their son’s development they should be the one raising him!

Altair had taken to playing the lullaby each night now to Desmond. He sat on the bed with the violin as Desmond lay under the covers. He mimed playing. “No,” Altair said. “If you want me to play you ask, with words.” Desmond frowned. “I know you understand me, Des. If you want me to play you a lullaby you need to ask me.”

Desmond scowled at him and mimed again that he wanted Altair to play. “I’m not going to play unless you use words, Desmond.”

Desmond scowled and rolled onto his side, pouting. Altair didn’t leave yet. “Just ask me to play, and I’ll play all night if you want,” he stroked the boy’s hair gently.

Desmond sat up. His mouth worked and then in a very bad way went, “Altear plaw.”

Altair’s eyes widened. “Play? You want me to play?”

“Plaw,” Desmond said and mimed using the bow. “Plaw, plaw.”

“Okay. I’ll play,” and he tucked Desmond back into bed. “Thank you for using your words,” he said, holding onto the hem of the blanket. “Using our words gets things we want, see?”

“Yeas,” Desmond said. “Plaw.”

“I will. You’re such a good boy,” and he kissed Desmond on the forehead. Then he sat up and took up the violin and started to play the lullaby. Even just the few days his hands were more deft and sure than they had been the first time he played. He closed his eyes, enjoying the sound of the song washing over him, reminding him of being a child himself. In his bed Desmond yawned and Altair kept playing. He played it a few times and at the end of the last bar hung onto the last note, letting it fade slowly into the air around them and opened his eyes. Desmond was sound asleep, curled up under the covers.

Altair got up and put the violin away. He always took it back to his closet room with him every night. He liked having it near. It reminded him of his father. Of his life outside the castle.

He closed the door softly and when he turned around his heart was in his throat. Malik was leaning against the wall just next to the door. “Ah, sir, did you need anything?” Altair stammered stupidly, looking down at his chest and not his face but at least not looking at the ground.

He flinched when Malik put a finger under his chin, making him look up. “Just a bit higher,” he said nicely.

Altair swallowed, “Can I do something for you?”

“Yes,” Malik stood up properly and Altair really wished he’d just leave him alone. “Come with me.” Altair did follow and was glad Malik had turned away so he could avert his eyes. He didn’t lead Altair to his room but to another room. A bigger room. A ballroom perhaps? Altair had never been in here. A small couch had been brought into the middle of the ballroom. Malik went and sat on it and Altair was destined to stand before him. He started to get nervous, his hands trembling. “Play for me,” he said.

“What?” Altair choked.

“Play for me. I’ve heard you practicing. Let’s hear you now,” Malik reclined into the back of the couch.

“Ah- alright,” he put the violin case down and pulled the instrument out, retightening the loose bow. He swallowed and put the violin under his chin. He needed to think of something. He closed his eyes to try and think of some music. Anything. Something came after a few seconds, piercing through the panic. It was an up beat song but not very quick so he could keep up with the tempo. He used to play it a lot during festival days with other string players. It was a song for spring and reminded Altair of flittering butterflies.

The sound filled the ballroom, the high ceilings and marble floor creating perfect acoustics for the sound. It made it sound like there were five players in the room and not just Altair. He opened his eyes to look around the room he’d never been, his hands knowing the song well enough to not need his supervision. It was a high vaulted room with beautifully painted walls and a place to sit along the sides. And while spectacular wasn’t really of interest to Altair. The dining room was as magnificent and he saw that every day.

His eyes eventually rested on Malik sitting in the sofa and he was watching intently. It made him faulter and Altair lost tempo, his fingers scattering across the neck awkwardly. He blushed, looked away, and pulled himself together. He looked back at Malik and Malik was just enraptured by the playing. He wasn’t anywhere as good as he used to be but Malik didn’t know that. To him this was the height of how you played this instrument.

Finally the song ended and Altair lowered the bow. Malik clapped, smiling widely. “That was marvelous. Absolutely fantastic,” he said brightly.

“Thank you,” Altair said humbly.

“What’s your name?”

Altair wasn’t sure why he was surprised Malik didn’t know his name but he was. He supposed it would have appeared beneath him to ask the masters the name of their human nanny. “Altair,” he said, “Altair Luthier.”

“Such a name hardly belongs here in the mountains like this,” Malik said. “Is your family from here?”

“Yes, sir,” he nodded. “Five generations.”

“And before that?”

“I... I don’t know,” he admitted.

“You look different from the other humans in the town,” Malik remarked.

“Yes. My family and some others in the valley are darker skinned,” he admitted.

“Do you know who I am?”

“Apologies,” Altair bowed, “Your driver named you when you first arrived but I forgot most of it. I know you’re the master’s guest, Malik,” he apologized.

Malik chuckled. “It is a mouthful for you so far north, I don’t blame you for forgetting. I am a member of the Sunfaire coven far to the south. William and I are... well friend is such a strong word among our kind. He and I have an understanding. I am visiting for a time.”

Altair wasn’t sure why he was being told this. But the vampire wanted to converse with him. How odd. “Is there a reason? If he’s not your friend then why would you come here? Especially as it will be winter soon and the winters are frigid here.”

Malik smiled slightly. “Yes. I have heard. But there is unrest in my homeland. I disagree with the direction of my coven and how they are dealing with the unrest. So I took myself out of the picture until it is over.”

“Oh. How long will that be?”

“Who knows? A year? Five years? A generation? Humans have such a hard time letting go of their petty squabbles. Now play something else for me.”

“Alright,” Altair said slowly. He brought the violin back up, thought about what to play and decided to just do the lullaby with some flourish. The lullaby made him feel better as much as Desmond. But he added a bit more to it. A pitch change, a tempo shift, the rearrangement of some notes. The familiar song made him feel more at ease even with Malik watching him so closely.

Malik didn’t stop him and he just kept playing. Eventually leaving the lullaby melody for something else. Just something his fingers did without much thought. But he didn’t let it get sad like he had a few days ago. The music soothed him and even though he was the one playing it he felt himself being lulled to sleep by the music. He was also very tired. Playing with Desmond and practicing all day made him so tired. He hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in years it felt like.

A hand grabbed his wrist and he realized he was about to fall over. “Oh— uh—“ he felt very foolish at Malik holding his wrist. “Apologies. I uh— I almost nodded off there,” he flushed in embarrassment.

Malik didn’t scold him or even seem upset. “I suppose it is well past sunrise.” He delicately took the bow out of Altair’s hand, loosened it, and put it in the case. He took the violin as well and closed it in its soft lined case. Then he picked the case up but didn’t offer it to Altair. “I will carry it for you,” he said and motioned for Altair to go. He was mortified. A vampire? Carrying his violin?

“N-no, I can do it,” he tried to reach for it.

Malik just put a hand on his chest. “You’ve provided me with beautiful music tonight. It is the least I can do is carry a bit of weight before you go to bed.”

Altair didn’t know what to do and felt trapped. Eventually he just nodded and headed for his closet. Malik followed behind. “You play so well. Does the coven know you play?”

“I don’t think so,” Altair said.

“A pity,” Malik scoffed. “Or maybe for the better. I get to enjoy it all on my own without their racket,” he chuckled. “Well, of course, me and Desmond.”

Altair just laughed awkwardly. “I can take it now,” he said outside his door and held his hand out for the case.

“This is where you sleep?” Malik’s brow furrowed even as he surrendered the case. The door wasn’t like the other doors in the castle to everyone else’s rooms.

“Ah, yes. Thank you,” he bowed. He waited for Malik to leave but the vampire didn’t. “Uh?” he looked up and Malik was just standing there. “Aren’t you also going to go to sleep, Malik?”

“I’m a polite guest. It’s rude to leave before someone you walk home has gone inside,” Malik said. Altair looked at him, shrugged, and opened his door. He was surprised when Malik put his hand on the door before he could close it. “This is where you sleep?” Malik asked again, sharper this time.

“Ah? Yes?” Altair said, swallowing, trying not to cower.

Malik said something in another language, he sounded very annoyed. He looked down upon Altair’s little cot shoved into the corner and the tiny stool and water jug and basin. Then he looked at Altair. “No wonder you’re asleep on your feet.”

“I was very busy today,” Altair said.

“You’re sleeping on a board with a furred rug over it and no pillow,” Malik said it out loud and Altair looked down, humiliated. He didn’t like to think of it like that. “I don’t know how William and Kaley expect you to look after their son in a state like this.” He seemed genuinely angry about it. “In my coven we’d never allow the humans to stay in such a place. Oh I am having words with them,” he growled.

“No, please don’t,” Altair grabbed his arm. “The mistress already treats me so coldly, please don’t speak to her of this.”

Malik’s black eyes were narrowed. “You deserve better than this, even if you are a human,” Malik said. “Even the cattle are more well off.”

That rattled in Altair’s skull. “What?” he asked softly.

“Have you ever been to the cellar?”

“No. I’m not allowed down there,” Altair said just above a whisper.

“They have beds, and chairs, and places to sit comfortably in their confinement. Hell they even have space for things, personal items and entertainment. They haven’t even graced you with a shelf,” he motioned angrily to the closet. “What have they told you it was like down there?” Altair repeated the words the Matron had told him often. “Hah. Hardly. This coven hasn’t hunted fresh food in decades because they take good care of their livestock. They keep them well fed and fat. I’ve seen what you eat. Cold food you bring from the town. I’m sure they wonder why you even go there when they bring hot food up here every day to the outer cellar door for the humans. Mocking them like the food they bring isn’t good enough?

“No. I will certainly be speaking with William and Kaley of this because this is unacceptable. Even my servants have their own shared rooms thrice as big as this and only two people sleep in it,” he motioned to the room angrily again.

Altair was about to have a break down. He let go of Malik and was just sitting on his cot, staring at him. He’d suffered this place for three years, taking care of that horrible pulsating chrysalis and then their little son and they acted like a closet and providing him a small amount of money to buy his own food was a kindness. First he’d been forced to leave his home, his life, his livlihood, and now this came to light? He put a hand over his face and cried.

Malik stepped into the closet and knelt by him. “Altair?”

“Please sir, just go away,” he said thickly.

“Yes but-

“I wish to be alone. Please. Allow me that,” he looked at Malik with tearful eyes.

Malik looked stricken. He didn’t even react when Malik reached up to wipe away his tears. “I think you’ve been alone enough,” he said nicely. “And I don’t want to leave you here. You don’t deserve to sleep here another night.”

“Where else would I go?” Altair asked with a mad smile. “The garden? I’ll just sleep under the rose bushes huh?”

“Not quite what I had in mind, no,” Malik said. “But there is an extra bed in my chambers.”

“Wh-what? No. No I couldn’t,” Altair said quickly.

“I insist.”

“But-

“Altair,” he said with some impatience. “I know William has told you to obey any vampire in this castle, yes?” He nodded. “Well, I am one. So you will obey,” he said sternly.

“I don’t wish to intrude-

“Get up,” Malik stood. Altair hesitated but did stand. Malik pushed him out of the closet and stalked him down the hall back to the hall where his and Desmond’s quarters were. Altair wrung his hands the entire time nervously, nearly wringing the skin clean off. Malik opened the door and bullied him inside. “You can sleep here,” he said, showing Altair to the bedroom.

“W-what? No. I couldn’t. That’s your bed. I couldn’t push you out of that.”

“You can,” Malik said. “I have my slab,” he pointed to the sarcophagus in the corner of the room. “It’s really quite comfortable. You won’t be putting me out.”

“Yes but-

“Altair,” he spoke over his nervous prattling. “When was the last time you slept?”

“Last night,” Altair said dumbly.

“Really slept. Slept well? Got an honest to goodness real night sleep where you didn’t wake up as exhausted the night before? Hmm?”

Altair didn’t answer at first. But they both knew the answer. “Since I came here,” he said softly.

“I thought as much. Now please. You do a hard, thankless, task, you deserve a good’s night sleep. Now I am insisting you take my bed for the night.”

Altair still hesitated. But Malik didn’t seem a bad sort. And he seemed genuinely angry about the closet. He was being genuine. “Alright,” he finally said.

“Good,” and Malik put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry your only interaction with vampires has been this coven,” he growled. “I assure you, we aren’t all like this. Most of us appreciate our human workers. This is why William and I have an understanding, but he is not my friend.”

“Oh. Thank you,” he bowed because he didn’t know what else to do. “You’ve been... very kind to me.”

“Only what you deserve,” Malik grunted. Then he released Altair and went to the sarcophagus. He removed his night coat and stretched out his arms and his glass-like strangely insectoid wings unfurled from his spine to also stretch out, straining to their full length. Altair had only ever seen Desmond’s tiny, useless wings. He’d never seen an adult vampire’s full wings. They were colored on the back like a moth or butterfly. Then they curled back up against Malik’s back and he climbed into the sarcophagus, closing the lid without another word.

That just left Altair in the bedroom of a vampire. He swallowed and took off some of his clothes. Just so he wasn’t sleeping fully dressed but more dressed than he’d usually sleep. Then he carefully sat on the bed, watching the sarcophagus like Malik would climb back out and call him a fool for believing such things and throw him out. But Malik didn’t. Altair inched his way further onto the bed and under the covers. They were the softest, most luxurious sheets he’d ever felt in his life. Even with the comforter he felt cool under them. And the pillows were great and plush, cradling his head gently.

Altair sank into the softness with a content sigh, eyes closing. He opened them enough to turn the lamp on the bedside table off before he closed his eyes. He slept better than he had in years.

#Assassin's Creed #AltMal #Altair #Malik al-Sayf #Desmond Miles #Moth Wings

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