#i suspect i will use this image again so im posting it so i can find it easier

[storm-of-feathers]

zolpidem zone

#i suspect i will use this image again so im posting it so i can find it easier #ambien

[kireoppi]

[Image description: An illustration of the night sky. A yellow crescent moon is in the centre of the dark blue sky and there are clouds surrounding the edges of the image. End description.]

------------------------------

hello and welcome! my name's Will.

here's some information about me:

☆ i am an autistic person and i am self diagnosed, though i am currently trying to get a professional diagnosis as soon as a i can. if i say anything wrong/incorrect, please do correct me as im also still learning and figuring stuff out about my autism and just autism in general.

☆ i am mentally ill in one way or another, though i am completely undiagnosed.

☆ also physically disabled with illnesses that are diagnosed (Scoliosis, Hypermobile Joint Syndrome), and suspected (POTS, ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia). i also find it hard to read smaller texts at times, so blogs will mainly have texts in bigger fonts.

☆ i use mobility aids, such as forearm crutches and a cane.

☆ i am transgender and cupioromantic asexual achillian, please refer to me using he/him pronouns.

☆ although verbal, i do struggle with communication via oral speech and sometimes even experience speech loss episodes, so i use AAC sometimes.

☆ i occaisionally may use an AAC board to write posts on here as practice!

☆ when asking questions or interacting with me, please use tonetags!

☆ if i don't respond to asks, it may just be me having a hard time to answer trying to figure out how. there can be other reasons, but i most likely wont ignore you on purpose for no good reason.

☆ this is the more serious sideblog of @yippee-tippees.

what this blog is about:

this blog will mostly be about autism, disability and mental health, though it will mostly be about disability. i will mostly reblog a lot of stuff, but may also talk about my experiences and opinions on here. some posts may have a lot of typos, so i do apolagise for that. i also sometimes will have trouble with grammar and typing as these things can be difficult for me at times, so please be patient with me.

i will also often post/reblog other things i deem important and would like to share! again, please correct me if i say anything wrong as i am still learning. though, you should definately go check out other disabled people and find out more as i am not at all someone that can provide the best information about these things and you should just support others as well.

like mentioned above, im an AAC user even though im verbal and i am self diagnosed when it comes to autism, so please treat me with respect. a lot of what i want to write down here is already above so this is pretty much all! enjoy your stay here.

*please note that im still learning about autism and many other things, so feel free to educate me about anything or add to any replies i give asks if you know about the topic. thank you!

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tagging system:

#important ! : stuff i find important.

#awareness : information about something and to spread awareness.

#acceptance: posts about acceptance.

#<3 (heart emojicon): positivity/reminders.

#rant: rant posts.

#vent: vent posts.

list may keep updating overtime.

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♧ list of special interests & hyperfixations!: Space/Astronomy/Cosmology, Geology, Biology, Greek Mythology, Marine Life, Sharks, Singing/Voice related things, Drawing/Arts, Animals, Chemistry, Pirates, Psychology, Philosophy, Ride The Cyclone, Phantom of the Opera, Welcome Home, The Amazing Digital Circus, Team Fortress 2, Hades Game, Reverse 1999, Good Omens, The Song of Achilles, They Both Die At The End, Simon Snow Trilogy, Steven Universe, Will Wood (& The Tapeworms)

list will keep updating overtime.

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‼️ DNI: Racists/Xenophobes, Sexists, Homophobes, Transphobes, Proshippers, Pedophiles/'Maps', Fetishizers, Ableists, Self-proclaimed 'Aspiesz', NSFW blogs, Anti-agere, Trolls , SH/ED blogs, Autism Speaks Supporters , people who know me in real life unless we’re close (please), people who dislike any of my special interests & hyperfixations (sorry), transabled/transid and RCTA

list will keep updating overtime.

-------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading my introduction!

------------------------------

[Image description: A painting painted using what seems to resemble gouache paint. The piece has two pink cats with astronaut helmets on floating next to each other in space, coloured a saturated dark blue. There is a big streak of pink on the right side of the image and small white dots everywhere, resembling stars. There is one big four-edged star on the left side of the piece. End description.]

#blog intro #introduction #important !

[ev-n-learning]

Cat stats: entirety of 2022 edition!

shut up no im not late youre late .

Note: I double checked and literally All of that writing was in belarusian! Despite the fact that I switched how i was tracking this halfway through! So technically that's 114 hours and 8 minutes. Pretty close to russian, actually!

Marathi has so many simply because at the start of the year, I was still trying to get a handle on actually like... reading. I'm decent at that now! But currently I'm not at any sort of level where I can talk or really read or anything, haha.

(Apparently tumblr doesnt like readmores when you have an image id. Hoping this doesnt somehow ruin the formatting!)

So, starting with ukrainian; as of today I have four skills to complete to finish the duolingo course! So I think that's at least like, 12 more days? Or something? After that I'm going to go back through to make everything legendary, so I suspect in total I will have spent at least a year on it. So that's... something. Lingq is the only thing holding my reading comprehension together right now I think 😂

For marathi, I'm honestly just curious how much better I'll be by the end of this year! Maybe my goal should be like, 'read sentences' or something lol. I've long since come to terms with the fact that I just Don't learn fast at all... :)

Russian is currently sitting on the backburner, so maybe I'm a little bit better, maybe I'm not. For now, though, I'll try to stick with it and see where that takes me! I'm happy with the fact that I finally made it through duolingo, and hopefully never have to go back again, haha

Belarusian: my one true love, light of my life, So Fucking Hard to find resources for. Anyways.

You may have seen I did nanowrimo in belarusian this year! I wrote a Lot, relatively, and have written exactly one thing in belarusian since. Such is the way of nano burnout... (but actually, I'm just procrastinating.)

I haven't decided yet whether I really want to post what I did or not, so currently the file is just sitting on my phone, waiting to be transferred so I can fix typos and stuff. It's probably going to stay like that for a while.

In other news, while I did want to start usong polygloss more, I've made a fatal mistake in constantly forgetting to reply to people, so now I think the total of 3 other people on there are ignoring me. Or just not using the app anymore, one of the two. ...in light of this, I am not using polygloss for belarusian currently. #r.i.p. my dreams.

I haven't really thought much about what I want to do this year... write more, at least. I'm definitely going to try nanowrimo again, when it comes around. I'd love to start getting more listening and reading in, but I don't go on youtube much, and as far as I can tell, most anybody who's posting in belarusian is on twitter. My twitter account has been dead since 2018 (or something) and it is going to Stay that way. As far as actual books go, eh... it's a bit harder to get my hands on anything, haha. If you happen to have reccomendations, I'm all ears... :P

(Yes there is also The Tiktok™️ but that, too, has the affliction of No Fucking Subtitles and is also a hellscape just generally, so... no.)

It's also still early in the year, so it's really anyone's guess how things are gonna end up! But that's where having simple goals comes in handy XD

In short...

Ukrainian: finish duolingo course, ???

Marathi: be able to sort of read, maybe

Russian: Who The Fuck Knows, better grammar (impossible for me and yet)

Belarusian: Know Everything Better, write... more comprehensively? write my langblr posts in belarusian, maybe?

#alt text #small text #long post #langblr #learning languages #languages #russian langblr #belarusian langblr #marathi langblr #stats for cats

[holocephal1]

I posted 1,917 times in 2022

That's 1,317 more posts than 2021!

61 posts created (3%)

1,856 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@argentavis

@fandoms-of-a-random-existence

@tgirlgerard

@goths-eat-electricity

@milfcarmilla

I tagged 1,634 of my posts in 2022

Only 15% of my posts had no tags

#<3... - 223 posts

#ghosts - 216 posts

#tlt - 61 posts

#mcr - 53 posts

#&lt;3 - 42 posts

#yeah - 37 posts

#sandman - 35 posts

#im so. tlt - 34 posts

#ocean - 32 posts

#starwar - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#which is made of copper and rust. you are from a war-ridden planet and the cause of your first death was a starship crash. you sing and pla

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

overthinking kitty's "she hit me!" "she can't!" "well, she wanted to!" interaction about lucy again.

i think its a really good reflection of her experiences and how she's learned to handle things tbh, because its something she says to try and make the others listen to how she's feeling. and i figure a lot of her life was not being listened to about her feelings or experiences, so she resorts to last-ditch exaggerations to try and get her point heard.

102 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

#4

im obsessed with just how much of the captain is about theatrics. because when it comes down to it, he's not... put together. like at all. the flashback we see is meant to be his Element, (and you can put this down to gay panic, or the Everything Else if you like), but he sucks at it, a bit. more than a bit, a lot. he's completely flustered, and doing completely arbitrary things, and its very clear that Havers is the competent one in that situation, especially because he gives functional orders and then is like 'go on listen to your CO.' and its something that comes through with Cap all the time. as much as he's continually reasserting his rank, he's so clearly not in charge. at all. and he's continually trying to prove the Cool and Powerful Leadership part of his identity to the other ghosts- eg. him interrupting in The Thomas Thorne Affair to basically just be like 'look how cool and functional id be if this were me'. and in insisting that he'd wear his uniform even if given the chance to do literally anything else. being The Captain is so integral to the false existence he puts up, and i'd guess he probably used it in life to hide other aspects of his reality from both himself and others, to prevent any sort of questioning. how dare they suspect their CO, and how could he possibly be 'that kind of person' when he's a well respected, high ranking officer?

157 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

#3

thinking about the fact julian died with a wedding ring on and pat didnt..

pls ignore the photo quality in favour of the amout of sad this makes me

195 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#2

totally unfounded ghosts theory

SO . i was thinking about this image:

a little too hard. and about people saying the thing in the captain's hand might be a tissue. and the idea of cap dying at his medal ceremony has been bouncing around my brain for a while, but i THOUGHT, what if the captain died at a funeral/memorial service? it would explain why he's in uniform, and at button house (given the people stationed there) despite the war likely being over and all by the time of his death. i cannot justify this at all, because my brain isnt working enough to research it without just getting current war memorial events, but! its an idea.

222 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i feel like we as a fandom don't talk about pat referring to himself as 'the big bad butcher man' enough

270 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[p1nkwitch]

He compartido 20.599 publicaciones este 2022

122 publicaciones originales (1 %)

20.477 reblogueos (99 %)

Estos son los blogs que más he reblogueado:

@nureyev-steel-institute

@chewbaccaaah

@fangirlingpuggle

@spongebobssquarepants

@lasalebete

He etiquetado 564 publicaciones en 2022

#lonelyeyes: 66 publicaciones

#peter lukas: 64 publicaciones

#tma: 60 publicaciones

#flurby gets an ask: 55 publicaciones

#the magnus archives: 51 publicaciones

#elias bouchard: 46 publicaciones

#myartf: 38 publicaciones

#flurby art: 37 publicaciones

#god au: 20 publicaciones

#yes: 18 publicaciones

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but its just fun plus the way to find the soulmate is always the most interesting part concept wise and i utterly love it as world building

Mis publicaciones más populares este 2022:

5

A fic list of mine because why not! Pretty much all lonelyeyes my dudes i only commit to one sort of content and its bastard old man.

Buzzfeed Unsolved the strange life of Gerard Keay you like buzzfeed unsolved and Tma? I got you covered.

They are only human A twist in canon in which most of the pupulation are descendants of supernatural creatures. Lonelyeyes of course, but we can see the archive crew pov occasionally too.

Back to black a TMAxSCP foundation crossover, post s3. Elias and Peter get stuck in the foundation as subjects. Mind the tags please.

You spin my head right round, right round Peter is stuck in a timeloop repeating the day he dies over and over again.

The haunting of Mooreland Manor Ghosts and Peter childhood being even more fucked up than regular canon by a long shot.

Welcome to Wonderland Tma characters as wonderland characters, with the fun appereance of canon Jon as this is his somewhere else.

Time of your life Time travel shenanigans, in which child Peter and Jonah end up in the care of their adults selves, childish crushes gallore.

God damn you got me in love again Urban Fantasy lonelyeyes, with tatto shop/flower shop setting. Witch Peter and Eldritch monster Elias.

Oh Dear how do the seasons change when im with you A hades and persephone reimagination. It is a long work but a favourite of mine.

81 notas. Fecha de publicación: 3 de octubre de 2022

4

You know when an idea wont leave you alone till you do it? Well this is it. Poor Martin having to listen to these two.

I live for Peter dancing like a dad he is just adorable. Elias you little devil (affectionate)

87 notas. Fecha de publicación: 29 de abril de 2022

3

92 notas. Fecha de publicación: 28 de mayo de 2022

2

Honestly I like to think that the divorce thing started out as Lonelyeyes running a scam on the Lukas family. The Lukases never would have let Peter give Elias funding if they had thought that they were actually happy together, so they started dramatically pretending to be bitter and miserable and breaking up all the time so that Peter's family wouldn't suspect they actually had a good and loving relationship.

GHFFDK ANON I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND, this is the funniest and crafitiest idea ever.

Just the mental image of Elias and Peter sitting down one afternoon and planing how to potantially get the Lukas out of their trail so they can be happy in private is hilarious.

I have my own idea that they have fake divorces on a list, so that they can complain about something and write it down as a motive to split up while not actually doing it cause its too much effort.

But this? This actually makes the serial divorcee thing much more fun cause its a scheme to get the Lukas to fuck off from their business. Elias and Peter must feel so clever whenever anyone mentions the break ups, internally they must be laughing their ass off and thinking of their last date.

shgkfd this is a gift i love it, thank you so much for sharing this with me. I would love to do a one shot about it eventually cause it sounds hilarious. Bless you anon.

105 notas. Fecha de publicación: 27 de abril de 2022

Mi publicación más popular de 2022

The backgrounds for Elias and Peter's cellphones i used for @lonelyeyesweek

In case anyone wanted to use them

257 notas. Fecha de publicación: 15 de septiembre de 2022

Descubre tu resumen del 2022 en Tumblr →

#tumblr2022 #resumen del año #mi resumen del 2022 en tumblr #tu resumen del año en tumblr #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[melanielocke]

MELANIEEEEE

IM DYING WHILE WAITING FOR NEXT CHAP

AND DID U SEE ALL THE THOMASTAIR SNIPPETS???

😭😭😭

🖤

I'm actually thinking of posting the next chapter this evening!

I was really worried I'd lost about 2000 words of writing yesterday evening that I'd done in the weekend on a different computer (at my parent's house), but with some effort my sister managed to save it there so I could access it again here. It was very stressful, but I have everything I wrote. (I use OneDrive to save my writing in word documents, usually this means I can access from any computer with my account, however I've had some issues with synchronizing and saving properly lately)

I saw the snippets and posted about them yesterday (: I like them so far, and from what I can tell they do seem to be different scenes so I'm still holding out hope for multiple Thomastair scenes. I also have the image in my head of Alastair chasing around Matthew and James shouting, so that's funny. I hope he actually gets around to doing that (and if not, someone should write it)

(and the question is making me doubt my suspicions about your identity because my prime suspect responded to my post... the mystery continues)

#the stars collide #anon ask #ask answered #thanks for the ask! #thomas lightwood #alastairs carstairs #chain of thorns snippets

[world-love-government]

Inserting Graveyards into my dreams

Well this morning waking up (early moments of waking consciousness) I had an oddly specific vision/dream of a graveyard that was shown to me/inserted into my mind and remember a "frightened" reaction, like someone/something was forcing this image/vision/dream into my head. The voices im constantly speaking with just continue laughing at this torment/remote bullying/gang-stalking like they're getting away with planning to murder me. Hey Krusty the clown drowns out any concern of how these acts from my perspective constantly rival medical experimentation found in the Holocaust. I have to constantly use a cotton swab in my left ear to keep back the spiritual rapists who insist on creating a "nightmare vision" (Awww poor little ojibwe boy, boo-hoo! said the witch). According to the voices my lifetime memories are all being polluted and altered so that everything is "demonic" or "humiliation" (i.e. - Imagine if someone told you this, they could do anything to your mind like make a memory of your family turn into rotting corpses, etc.)

They even congratulate each other at a job well done, like this new level of atrocity that rivals the holocaust is something to be proud of. I thought this is proof of unsalvagable human trash if its all really happening.

Now I have to assume all my memories of this lifetime are ruined, polluted, they can do whatever, I guess turn my mom into a corpse getting raped, or make it seem like angry thugs/mobs from Toronto are/were beating me up, that minorities and brown people are demons attacking you (they do the swipe/suck/hit attack often when I pass by ethnic/racialized minorities - often brown and black people that ticks me off because its like theyre racist and I suspect they want me to think negative thoughts when they do this, like they want me to attack brown and blacks or carry out a false flag)

There will never be enough words to describe how rotten, disgusting, and demonic the voices are that I speak with. Whatever it is, hate is necessary for it to exist; my concepts of love to these people is like poison or unacceptable as if these demons only wish to create a world of pain, misery, suffering, and humiliation for everyone. The voices I speak with at the same time are addicts and junkies whose pleasure comes at the cost of everyone else who wishes not to participate in their outlook and order that thrives on the humiliation of others. As I type these words, the witch cackles, and ghouls remain satisfied in corruption, blackmail, and inhumanity.

Whats really going on inside my head, body, and left ear?

Will I ever be able to find a doctor or health professional who isn't "blackmailed" into silence?

How are these voices really sabotaging my "lifetime memory?"

Once again I will mention that if people are congratulating each other at this level of experimentation on the human body in a spiritual, mental, or physical sense, you might as well congratulate nazis for exterminating/experimenting on their opponents/discriminated groups. Youre a fool or blind if youre acting like this doesnt resemble a threat worse than nazi germany. My life has turned into a medical experiment and war against Orwellian/Gestapo/Secret Police bullies or gangstalkers that constantly threaten to alter, eat and destroy the soul of an Ojibwe-Canadian and they should all burn in hell for this In a future post, I will be summarizing how this threat is the new "nazi threat" to the human race that has to be exterminated and destroyed. For the past 3 days these voices have been 24/7 "hitting/swiping/sucking" in my left ear area. Once again, this is something so extraordinary I knew it had to be documented to the greater public in all outcomes. Sometimes I'm convinced there's a live intelligence or consciousness behind all this, other times it seems less than human. It just hasn't stopped however (for the past 3 days or so its been the same behavior), it just keeps on going like there's either a large group involved or a few people addicted to abusing me or however/whatever it is. I cant help but return to the thought you people have to be coping for whatever reason. It would seem the phenomenon is multifunctional; it seems, and for the female voice especially, they thrive on my (1) emotional reactions or responses to events, but at the same time theyve been (2) "sucking/hitting/taking" and then softly "putting it back" or inserting something else (all resembles a wind/blow/suckage like phenomenon). They're easily distracted by stupid or gimmicky sounds and videos that really serves as one of the most efficient defenses.

[mokutone]

okay bc the last post was a art post without naruto this is a naruto post without art ive been sitting on this topic for MONTHS so im just gonna share it, lets get ready to do a mild dive into The Yamato Pays For Lunch Scene!!!

this scene is funny and yamato being flattered and flustered is endearing, and kakashi is funny in this but a lot of the time this scene is used to characterize the bulk of kakashi and yamato's interactions in a way which kinda reduces yamato largely to just...kakashi's fool, Just A Moron Who Does What Kakashi Says Because He's Starstruck Stupid/ In Love/ A Sucker

and I'm not gonna lie, while that's a...possible...reading of the source material and all, it's not my favorite since it's. really entirely at the expense of Yamato's character, so I'm gonna try and provide a counter reading based on things I notice in the scene from the manga: warning. this is a very long post bc i am NOT good at being succinct

first i'd like to point this little bit out:

u can notice here that in that first panel in the top right, Kishimoto makes a point of including yamato in the shot in the background, not just eating his own noodles and minding his business but clearly paying attention to what Kakashi and Naruto are talking about, and Kakashi, in dialogue, pretty clearly states his intention to sweet talk Somebody. Additionally, In the anime if I remember correctly, Kakashi adds in something after the sweet talk line like "I promise, it'll be interesting," which clearly designates Naruto as Not being the one who is going to get the sweet-talk, since he will be Observing the Interesting Thing. This is important because Naruto, at first, thinks that Kakashi is referring to more Ninja Training, but this line makes it clear that he's Not talking about that. Anyway, put a pin in this whole thing.

then the funny little incident itself:

goofy and endearing. that's all i have to say. ANYWAY.

the most interesting part of this interaction is what happens afterward in my opinion; they go back to the training ground and kakashi gives naruto a little pep talk about how if Anyone can master this jutsu it is GOING to be naruto, because naruto has what it takes and will surpass the fourth hokage etc etc etc, which leads to this interaction,

this is really interesting to me because the "you really Are a sweet talker," first of all indicates that he heard and understood that kakashi intended to sweet-talk him, but it ALSO implies that there was doubt about kakashis ability to sweet talk at all by emphasizing the "are," which could lead to some interesting interpretations!

Scenario One: Yamato was Generally Aware of what Kakashi was doing, and actively and intentionally decided to play along.

This is the one I play with the most—I think Yamato is probably pretty good at reading Kakashi, and is aware that Kakashi is goading him into paying for the meal, especially since afterwards he turns Kakashi's words right back at him, essentially saying that he suspects the pep talk he gave Naruto is just as calculated (and possibly untrue) as the one Kakashi gave him at the ramen place, but a much better performance.

This also kind of accounts for the funny look he gives Kakashi right after Kakashi denies the accusation in the bottom right of the image above. The last time they worked together closely, Kakashi was trying to deaden himself emotionally, so seeing genuine and open expressions of pride and belief in other people's abilities probably represents a huge change from the Kakashi he knew, to the Kakashi he stands beside now. At once very much the same, and also a stranger, and I think that's a fun texture to play with in their relationship as they try to figure each other out again after a multi-year-gap of not interacting.

I like this reading the most for a couple reasons; I like that it shows a very cynical and suspicious side of Yamato's character, one which he has no reason to display around the kids. Making a crack at your teammate for being Very Fake to his wide eyed and genuine students is NOT a productive or useful behavior that you want to pass on, but a couple side comments to the Other dark and cynical dude who u went thru anbu with about how fake he is is surely fine TWO: Since it implies Kakashi was insincere and being performative, it also implies Yamato himself was doing the same in the ramen bar—essentially that Kakashi suggested a little game that would amuse their student, and Yamato didn't mind playing along—the only hitch in this reading is, why would either of them play this game? What Kakashi would get out of it is easy; a free meal and to show off a bit. What Yamato would get out of this is a little more opaque, however—

Obviously there's the reading that, being cynicism + misery poisoned repressed people, the only way they can express a feeling is thru at least 3 layers of insincere/sincere performance but. we'll get to that eventually. not what im interested in rn bc I'd personally lean more towards the idea that this is an opportunity for him to soften his image a little bit in general (Yamato is, after all, the disguise of a Just Some Guy Jōnin) but also, specifically in front of Naruto, to seem a little goofier and a little more fallible and affectionate, after all, Team Kakashi has only really seen him in Captain Mode, where he has said shit like "Kakashi might promise he'd never let you come to harm, but I can't, and I won't." and "Coddling is not compassion," etc etc, he's often got a very serious demeanor and this whole situation puts a funny little hitch in it. Why yes Captain Yamato is a Very serious man who is Very upfront about the possibility and in some ways the inevitability of death, but will let his dear friend goad him into paying the bill with a couple kind words.

and. also kind of a callback to him paying for the meal and inn, where team seven was like "wow this rocks! can you actually just replace kakashi??" but in a scenario where he's not just trying to put a tracker on sai—a performance to indicate there's truth within another performance, good god the complicated lives these ex-anbu lead.

Scenario Two: Yamato Does Not Generally Believe Kakashi Is So Honey-Tongued, But Has A Soft Spot For Him Anyway.

Pretty straight forward! The majority of the above analysis applies, but rather than Kakashi and Yamato seeing this as a game they are both playing, Kakashi and Yamato both know that Yamato's got a soft spot for some kind words from his senpai, even though he knows Kakashi is teasing him. In this reading the "Man, Kakashi. You really Are a sweet-talker," is still critical of Kakashi's ability to affect others, but with the admission that Yamato is a lost cause here, he's just self aware about it.

I think people who are going into readings of their relationship with a shipping angle generally prefer takes more along this line, because the idea of people having "exceptions" or "the only person i do this with" is generally considered romantic in a fashion.

This reading is fine and valid, as all readings of this scenario are, but it still plays into the kind of "I'm a fool, but just for you" trope which I worry kinda disrespects Yamato's character a bit! like, again, it's fine! just not the flavor of reading that i enjoy

That said, this all focuses mostly on Yamato's experience and point of view because he's my favorite and I love him, but there's also interesting stuff to be observed here about Kakashi—the whole chapter is called "Honey Tongued" or sweet-talking, so the two instances of Kakashi complimenting Yamato and Naruto are meant to be the focus, and meant to be compared!

Kakashi is very clear and very firm that the delivery and the sentiment behind the pep talk he gave Naruto was genuine.

Naruto does not enjoy nor does he have an easy time with Kakashi playing mind-games around him, and having taught Naruto at his greenest genin phase, Kakashi would know this. Hypothetically here if we wanna talk Kakashi character growth, for him this scene is more about settling into the role of teacher genuinely, how he's changed and adapted in the three years of missing his "adorable" students, and that he's willing to open up more and express more heartfelt and therefore more vulnerable feelings to the kids. That said, because of the chapter title and content, as well as because Yamato directly asks us to compare the scenarios, this point is in contrast with his complimenting Yamato, and there's two ways I can think of to read that:

1) Unlike the scene with Naruto, his complimenting was manipulative, either wholly or partially unmeant. I don't think many people would agree with this one! U can see based on their interactions in combat or other serious scenarios that Kakashi trusts and respects Yamato, and relies on his skill and intuition frequently, and even after years apart, they're very much still in sync with each other, which Kishimoto makes a point to show us (them saying words at the same time, communicating non-verbally or with a minimum of words).

2) The delivery was ironic, but much like the pep talk for Naruto, the sentiment was genuine. I typed up a whole thing about like, how repressed people who are scared of being vulnerable sarcastically express love for their friends, and how this situation could be considered in that vein, but essentially:

What I mean is; Kakashi is famous for his inability to open up. When he first meets the kids, he says he has no interests, no goals, and doesn't like to talk about himself. This whole scenario with the pep talk shows that he's making strides in being direct and complimentary (this feels like the wrong word. what i mean is that he's like...he's engaging with the people around him in a more genuine way, interacting with his students as people, letting them know that he sees how they've grown because he seems to better understand he can also have a positive impact on them, not just a neutral or negative impact) since then—but Yamato doesn't necessarily know that, and to Kakashi, Yamato could represent a kind of bridge between the person he was back in anbu, and the person he is now, delivering a cheesy description of their previous relationship to each other in a way that Yamato was meant to understand as fake or putting-him-on, while actually being more or less a direct and genuine acknowledgement of the importance of their previous friendship + working relationship...it's a way to ease the two very different versions of himself together.

god i think this post might be incomprehensible actually. when they call it brain rot theyre not kidding around.

#dear god i hope this makes sense to literally anyone aside from myself #there are alternate readings like ''kakashi genuinely is good at sweet talking'' which i disagree with vehemently #and also ''kakashi was lying and being manipulative to both naruto and yamato'' which i also disagree with vehemently #but like. if you want to read it that way i literally cannot stop u and more importantly have no interest in stopping you #i just have a lot of feelings abt this scene not because its a favorite scene but bc its used to characterize their relationship #so often #AND USUALLY IN A WAY THAT I DONT LIKE AT ALL KDGHSDKGHSJGH #so i offer up this reading #also usual disclaimer that like. obviously i do not hold the keys to naruto. i am not Right about naruto #i am in fact. only REALLY here for one character #so feel free to ignore my interpretation if u dont like it or dont agree with it—just as i ignore interpretations of this scene that #i think are. mmm. disagreeable to me #i sometimes feel like this manipulative read is why people think that it was kakashi who assigned yamato to watch orochimaru #even when putting people he cares about in dangerous or miserable situations is determinedly against his character #like fully i 100% believe yamato took that duty in an effort to reclaim himself postwar #NOT SAYING IT WORKED OR THAT IT WAS HEALTHY BUT. like. i get it. #also. the anime filler parts including the VERY funny bit where yamato gets drunk and just talks about how hes a pushover #are very funny but another example of how the anime kind of. exagerates when they step away from canon #like how they made hinata a little bit of an obsesser and stalker w/re naruto in filler. but the manga doesnt even imply this #like its a very funny goof and a joke but its not something i like to flavor all of yamatos interactions w/ kakashi u feel me #this is hopefully the last post Like This i think its a good idea to do bc talking abt this stuff in a concise way is not my strong suit

[vs-redemption]

Hi, its me! Im sorry for bothering you! How would Bakugou, Aizawa, and Iida react if some random kid, who had their eyes but different hair, who looks homeless and IS homeless, knockef on their door and said 'hey, do you know *insert womans name*? Youre my dad apparently' and it turns iut it was a woman they had a flimg with, who left them, and went on to abusr their kid? Like severely? Its just me projecting lol. Im so sorry have a great day!

A/N: I noticed that @madkaleidoscope got almost the same request while going through the my hero tags, so please check out their post HERE for another take on the same idea.

A Surprise Meeting (Bakugo, Iida, and Aizawa meet their abused child)

You can read the same scenario for Todoroki and Dabi HERE You can read the same scenario for Hawks, Fatgum, and Shigaraki Here

Warning:⚠️Mentions of child abuse and homelessness. Also, swearing for Bakugo!⚠️

Bakugo

“What the hell do you mean they were offended?” Bakugo growls at his manager through the phone propped up on his shoulder as he aggressively chops up vegetables for the stew he was making. “Instead of being grateful that I saved their asses, they decided to file a complaint against me huh?”

The underpaid person on the other end launches into an explanation about why a top ranked pro hero should avoid yelling out expletives while fighting villains in front of a crowd of civilians. Apparently it wasn’t an appropriate way to behave in front of impressionable children and elderly folks. Bakugo rolled his eyes as he continued cooking. He’d heard this spiel a hundred times before. He’d honestly worked hard over the years to improve the way he directly interacted with the innocent people he fought to protect every day, but he couldn’t help but get a little overzealous in the moment when taking down bad guys.

Bakugo clicked his tongue in annoyance when his doorbell suddenly rang. He wiped his hands off on a towel before going to tell off whoever it was that was interrupting his very limited free time. It was bad enough he was already getting an earful from his manger while he was trying to relax. He ripped open the door and felt a hint of surprise when he had to lower his angry red eyes to find the unexpected visitor. It was a little girl.

“What the hell?” Bakugo leaned out of the doorway a bit to look for an adult that might be accompanying the child but she seemed to be all alone. His manager paused their lecture to ask if he was all right. “Yeah, but I’m going to have to call you back,” Bakugo hangs up the phone and looks back at the little girl who was glaring up at him with familiar red eyes. Her long dark hair was dirty and matted. She had scrapes and bruises all over her arms and face.

“Do you need help or something?” Bakugo asks awkwardly as he tries to slip into his comforting hero voice. “Where are your parents?”

“Mommy left and didn’t come back,” the little girl scowls and crosses her arms. She then tells Bakugo her mother’s name, causing the man to freeze up in shock at the implication. “She said you were my daddy.” Bakugo just stands speechless for a few moments as his brain tries to catch up with what he’d just heard. He knew the girl’s mom, but he hadn’t seen her in about four years. They’d had a bit of a summer romance right at the beginning of his hero career before she’d suddenly disappeared, never to be heard from again.

Bakugo lets his eyes scan over the little girl once more. He couldn’t deny she had his eyes and his scowl. He felt irritated that his summer fling hadn’t even had the decency to tell him she’d gotten pregnant. He squats down to look more closely at the dirt and injuries all over the girl’s body.

“Who did this to you?” he asks, trying to keep the gruffness from his voice. Some emotion cracks through the little girl’s false bravado then and she looks down at her bare feet shyly.

“Mommy…” she whispers. Bakugo takes a deep breath to calm the rage that boiled up inside him and offers a hand to the little girl.

“Mommy left me too,” he confesses. “But she’s not going to hurt either of us ever again, okay?” The little girl looks up at her dad, a tentative hope blossoming in her eyes. Bakugo knew this was going to impact his life in a huge way, but at the moment he only cared about getting to know his daughter and making up for lost time. “Are you hungry?” The little girl nods her head eagerly and he leads her into his apartment. He would get her cleaned up and fed before getting started on all the legal stuff he’d undoubtedly have to endure before she could really be his daughter completely. His mind was already coming up with ways to fit parenting into his work schedule though, and he found himself looking forward to spending as much time with his little girl as possible.

Iida

Iida assumed he was going to have another normal morning as he sat at his desk, looking over his patrol route for the day. He’d taken over his family’s hero agency not too long ago, but he was already used to the daily routine. All the experiences he’d lived through during high school, not to mention growing up in a family of heroes, had prepared him for most scenarios he would encounter as a pro. He had no reason to suspect that anything out of the ordinary would happen, even as he heard the knock on his office door.

“Come in,” he calls out while standing up to start putting on his hero costume. The door blasts open and a young girl runs into the room.

“Daddy!” she shouts as she runs right up to him and throws her arms around his waist. Iida looks down at the girl in shock before glancing towards the door where one of his sidekicks stood looking as confused as he felt.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” the sidekick says a bit awkwardly. “One of the interns found her wandering outside. She was asking people to help her find you, her dad.”

Iida wanted to deny the claim immediately. He would definitely know if he had a child, especially one who looked to be around eight years old. The idea became a lot less preposterous as he looked back down at the girl. Her hair color was as white as snow, a complete contrast to his dark blue. The thing that gave him pause were the two legs sticking out from under the dirty skirt the girl was wearing. Her legs looked skinny, too skinny, aside from her calves which had tiny exhaust pipes sticking out of them. The girl looks up at him after a moment to meet his gaze. His breathe catches in his throat at her blue eyes and checkmark shaped eyebrows that were iconic to the Iida family.

“Uh, thank you,” Iida felt flustered as he looks back at his sidekick who was blatantly starting at him in shock. “I’ll handle this from here. Do you mind asking someone to take over my patrol?” The sidekick accepts the job and hurries off, leaving Iida alone with the girl. Part of him felt really embarrassed that this had happened in front of his coworkers. He couldn’t imagine what they must think of him now. He definitely didn’t seem like the type to be involved with something that could be perceived as scandalous.

“What is your mother’s name?” Iida asks, even though he was sure he already knew. The list of possibilities was very small. The little girl goes up on her tiptoes and Iida bends down to meet her so she can whisper in his ear. He sighs heavily at the name that falls from her lips. It was just further confirmation that this wasn’t some crazy misunderstanding. The information settles into his mind. He was a father.

“Please don’t make me go back to her though,” the girl’s eyes brim with tears as she searches Iida’s face for comfort. “She’s scary.” Iida understood how the girl felt. If given the option, he would choose never to see that woman again either. She had only dated him for a brief time, pretending to be in love with him in order to take advantage of his fame until she found someone higher up in the ranks to seduce. He had been so shocked and heart broken when she’d left him so suddenly, but now there was no way to hide from that mistake of his past.

“Why do you say she’s scary?” Iida asks while putting a hand on the girl’s shoulder. She winces and flinches away from his touch. He narrows his eyes in concern and asks her to roll up her sleeves. His heart fills with sadness at the welts marring her frail arms. “I see,” he frowns. “I promise you won’t have to see her again if you don’t want to, but can you tell me where she lives?”

“I don’t know. We always have to sleep outside,” the girl explains warily, painting a rather sad image of her life.

“Well that just won’t do,” he pats her on the head. “I’m going to make sure you have a comfy, warm bed to sleep in from now on.” The girl’s face lights up happily and she hugs Iida even tighter. The shame he’d felt initially was gone now, replaced by a determination to provide his daughter with the best life possible.

Aizawa

Between all his hero work and being a full time teacher, Aizawa’s opportunities to simply sleep for a couple consecutive hours were few and far between. He took any chance he could to just shut his eyes and rest for a while. Tonight he’d hoped to get a decent amount of sleep in before having to wake up at the crack of dawn to attend a UA staff meeting. However, it seemed fate had other plans for him.

It was around one in the morning when a knock on his front door pulled him from the depths of his much needed slumber. He rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes as he rolled out of bed, not even having the energy to be annoyed. “Who is it?” He asks while putting on his slippers and shuffling over to the door. There was no answer, so he pressed his face up to the peep hole. He let out a groan when he saw a random kid standing outside. If this was some kind of prank, he wasn’t sure he had the strength of mind to deal with it at this hour. He already put up with a whole class of teenagers every day who drained him of every drop of patience he had.

“Can I help you?” Aizawa mumbles after opening the door. The young boy in front of him looked to be about thirteen years old. The ends of his dark burgundy hair were frayed and had been cut sloppily as if he’d done it himself. He had outgrown his clothes a while ago, and they appeared uncomfortably small on his skinny frame. The poor kid looked extremely dirty and smelled even worse.

“Do you know this woman?” the haggard boy holds out an old photograph of a person Aizawa recognized immediately. It had been a very long time, but he’d never forget the face of the first woman he’d ever been with. He’d been so young and naïve at the time, and he still felt bitter toward the friend who’d set him up with a woman with such an atrocious personality. Aizawa knew right then and there that he wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon.

“This is my mother,” the boy states the obvious fact. “And apparently you’re my dad.” Aizawa had no reason not to believe him as he looked into the boy’s tired eyes that matched his own. It was clear that life had not been kind to the kid so far.

“Come on in,” Aizawa invites his son inside, deciding to wait to involve the proper authorities until morning. “You can take a hot shower, and I think I have some leftovers we can heat up.”

“A shower?” the boy looked overwhelmed, as if the promise of a shower was more than he’d ever dared to hope for. Aizawa was growing more concerned with each passing second.

“Where is your mother now?” He asks and the boy shrugs.

“I haven’t seen her in a couple weeks,” he states as if that were normal. “I think she met some new guy.” That was enough to put Aizawa’s teeth on edge.

“Where have you been staying then?” he asks.

“Wherever I can,” the boy replies, sounding embarrassed. “Park benches, bus stops, train stations…” Aizawa was horrified. What kind of person left their child to survive in those conditions? Why hadn’t she ever reached out to him for help?

“What are these?” Aizawa reaches out to snatch up the boys arm. Now that he was inside where the lighting was better, he could see strange scars and scabs covering his skin.

“Cigarette burns,” the boy pulls his arm away and averts his eyes. “Mom thought it would make people more willing to help when I had to beg for money.” Aizawa felt his eyes fill with tears at the words, and he doesn’t think twice before pulling his son into his arms. The boy returns the embrace, clinging to Aizawa as if he feared the man might disappear if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

“What’s going to happen now?” the boy asks fearfully after he calms down a bit.

“You’re more than welcome to stay with me,” Aizawa finds himself accepting the role of father rather quickly. He was already responsible for so many kids already, he didn’t see the harm in adding one more to the list. “If that’s something you’re comfortable with.”

“Yes, please!” The boy nods his head, looking ecstatic as he wiped away his tears. Aizawa nods his head and pats his son on the shoulder.

“Well then kid,” he says with a small smile. “Welcome home.”

------

Aizawa Tag List:  @clovertitan  @raine-needs-help @lucacangettathisass @lea2107-foxsin @tiaraowens

#Katsuki Bakugo #Tenya Iida #Shota Aizawa #Bnha #Mha #bnha imagines #mha imagines #Writing Requests #Cindy's Writing #katsuki bakugou #aizawa shouta #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios

[jjheejz]

Im sorry to crash the party this late(?) but on your fate saga post 3 you mention a the untamed saga, just what happened?? >>

Although this is a JunZhe account, this post is focused on Xiao Zhan and Wang Yi Bo for awhile. :)

//

Hello anon,

No you're not late :)

Before I get to it, have to admit that I've only witnessed this saga in bits and pieces so the information may not 100% depict the whole story/cause.

However, the general takeaway is that, Xiao Zhan (XZ) solo fans, Wang Yi Bo (WYB) solo fans and BoJunYiXiao (BJYX as short form, cpname) cpfans don't get along. The latter is seen as the lowest level. They are viewed as feeding on fantasies and unrealistic ideals because these 2 actors are definitely not together as a couple in real life. There is "no future". (Despite this, on weibo, BJYX is still on a competitive position with JunZhe in the cp chart till now, rotating between top 1 and 2 - tbh, I somewhat only understand that BJYX hardcore fans does the tedious fan chart votes or sth daily rather hardworkingly).

Today (10 August screenshot): No.1 - BJYX, No.2 - LLD. Bonus below, No.11 - JunZhe

Of course, internationally, we dont think being a cpfan is a problem. Sometimes we just like both actors interactions, doesnt matter if they are real or not, but in the Chinese (hardcore) solo fans fandom, to them it's somewhat on this kind of perspective:

1. These 2 are actors = bound to have competition with each other (brand endorsements, sales, roles, show appearances etc), therefore, in order to build their future career, many choose to side one of them rather than both (not sure of the rationale of siding one rather than both). So most cpfans end up diverting to become solo stans. It's a realistic, long-term kind of thing. Some just end up preferring one over another, and some as we all know exists - prefer one of them as their own ideal fantasy boyfriend (the chinese term is 梦女 meng nv - 'dreaming girl'). These are also apparent in Gong Jun and Zhang Zhe Han solo fans.

2. XZ's AO3 saga: In brief, basically this was an extremely huge issue in 2020 (referred to as "227" - the date of seriousness) and was blown up very badly because it innocently involved those who doesnt know XZ and WYB, to a bad end. AO3 is a famous fanfic site, even internationally, but because of a BJYX fanfic, a group of extremely toxic XZ fans blew it up to the point this site was banned in China. Frequent Chinese writers and readers used this site for all kinds of fanfics (drama, anime, general writing etc) had their works and account gone overnight, so this grew an immense emotionally intense hatred on onlookers/passerbys/unrelated to them AO3 users to XZ and his fans.

This technically had something to do with cpfans since the fic was written by one of them, so yea. Imagine the hatred Chinese AO3 users have on XZ. Even now, I still see people hating on him for it despite it being the toxic fans fault. And obviously that group of XZ extremely toxic fans ain't going to self-reflect but push the blame, and they emerged even more hardcore...This saga's magnitude is beyond how my words can express so feel free to look it up - 227. It was just a mega large hurricane.

So, if XZ and WYB are in the same frame/drama again, the media is going to go wild in their articles. Solo fans are going to create even bigger fanwars with each other and it's really damaging to XZ's reputation for onlookers and passer-bys. WYB as well.

//

In the novel and drama, WangXian is always a couple.

But in real life, the actors are only temporarily Wei Wu Xian, and Lan Zhan. The real them is Xiao Zhan, and Wang Yi Bo, of which BJYX is unlike JunZhe.

Note: If anyone has anything to add/amend please feel free to do so! As mentioned, I've only witnessed in bits and pieces but because the magnitude was so big, everyone more or less had an idea about it, just that what I mentioned may not be the full picture.

Bonus: Just last month - July 2021, BJYX toxic fans started a war with JunZhe/LLD (to know the scale, let's just say, it involved photoshopping on to funeral portraits). So this further grew hatred on both XZ and WYB as some of them were AO3 users/onlookers of the 227 incident. Both cpfandom became straight up enemies. 🤦‍♀️

To them XZ knew this 227 issue blew up but he had never made a public apology or addressed it at all [this is going to be another post if I were to state my stand on why - subjectively]. As a general fan of BJYX, was apparently suspected of being a spy and toxic fan of them, entering LLD to create war - simply by following BJYX. So they grew tight on security and because of that last month, was kicked out of 4 LLD groups (not entirely due to following BJYX but somewhat related). 🥲

Anyway, no matter what, BJYX, XZ and WYB is a sensitive topic on weibo. They go by initial references there: XZ, WYB and last month's war, XZ's toxic fan is referred as 🦐 (idk the reason).

BJYX saga is just a prevalent childish hardcore fan issue + non-fans but brainwash lurkers creating chaos and watching this all (they get paid well to do this). The good Chinese weibo fans are really nice but sometimes I feel it's some kind of underground love story for cpfans of both JunZhe and BJYX on weibo.

I believe XZ and WYB themselves are in good terms, just cut apart by their own fandom. No matter what, both actors are hard workers and are nice people, please continue to support them if you are a fan of them too ^-^

Hope you gain some generic insights :)

Bonus bonus images:

Post update record:

[Edited an error, pointed out by Farrowuk] - Thank you :)

[oh-for-fic-sake]

okay here we go. You come for my freinds because you cant come at me anymore. And thats not cool.

It has come to my attention that poeple have been all mixed up over what exactly happened between me an @thatdamncutegirl who i have just noticed has block me back.

Though i do hope she remebered to block me on the other three accounts she has made to bully and lie through the teeth through. @introverted-pervert @cavillry and @tanya-alina0044 😱😱 oh look she did! I wonder if it has something to do with the lies and shit she has caused.

Im writing this to show everyone just what this girl has done. The lengths she has gone to because i will not speak to her anymore. Im tagging my freinds the people i want to protect from her and her madness. @killjoy-assbutt-1112​ @littlefreya @dancingwendigo @achaoticaugust @viking-raider​ @thelastsock​ @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @iloveyouyen​ @seedless-vascular​ @lunedelorient​ and i ask that each of you read this from beginning to end, and make your own judgment of it. i know it is long but i really really want you to see what all this drama has been about.

You make think i am being mean and out of order for nameing and shameing but please understand i have tried to keep quiet not once mentioning any names on my blog. I would not be doing this without good reason. She has attacked my most nearest and dearest because i kept silent. and i am not staying silent any more.

So i shall show you how this all started with screenshots. 

These convosations may be triggering as they include mentions of suicide and emotional blackmail! if this triggers you then dont read your mental health means more to me then crazy drama!

(there are som graphic images that i have not posted as it would brake tumblrs guidlines, but i can confirm that she sent me a photo of her wrists scratched open but not bleeding which to me was more a cry for help then a suicide attempt)

by this point i had got angry, rightly or wrongly because this was the second time she had done this to me.

at this point she began pretented to be her mother, who was apparantly not alarmed to find her daughter blacked out and bleeding to death.

I will admit after this i ignored her untill the next day, i was angry she had done this after a few months of being so close to her, speaking everyday. she continued to apologize and i in my stupidity forgave her giving one final chance. and then she tried to blackmail me into being fine and dandy with her and it was the last straw and i blocked her.  however i forgot to block her second blog. and she continued to send me messages. see below. above this part she asked why i blocked her and i said that i was tired of the lies.

(im so annoyed some of the screnshots are gone she began listing off all the times she’d tried stupid stuff to me and i lost my temper)

as you can see i had enough of this and had blocked her. then i got this the next morning.

this came as a shock so i did a little digging... and found these.

I do not believe in coincidence. It would seem she made another blog useing a name from one of her posts and the icon that sent her hate was the same icon from her new blog or maybe im just paranoid i will let you all be the judge of that. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

and then after i blocked the thrid blog i got this. a message asking for a request.

i fell for it but it was only after i thought about it, it didnt sound right, once again another coincidence. after i had blocked all four of her blogs i began hearing form a few others in the cavillry asking about it. She has used these new blogs to do the same thing to others and its not right. I have since managed to confim this was indeed her.

i am aware that she has been sending anon hate and trying to put her life on our minds. she is useing tumblr to bully us. I feel i have blocked her for the right reasons. i have been sent screenshots of asks and private messages that are all corroberating a story of her having a death in the family whch has set her off. but she forgets that she has been talking to me and we spoke of family to each other and never has she mentioned having a much younger sister. she is sending out threats and spewing hate to my other freinds saying that i am gunning for her. I dont have to gun for her because the evidence speaks for itself.

i have reported her accounts to tumblr for suicide, disingenuois behaviour, graphic content and bullying. i also know she has been repoted by a few others for these things too. 

I am so upset over this and disgusted and all i can do no is apologize to you all that you’ve been pulled into this madness, i never meant for you to get hate or threats or be harrassed and i hope you can forgive me. I made this post to let everyone know exactly what i (and i suspect many others) have been dealing with over the past week or so. I hope that you dont think anyless of me from trying to protect you form this shit, but no one deserves this shit. I have been a fucking wreck and have been physically sick over it. im not here for this im here for smut and thirsting anf stories.

[genderbinaryisforlosers]

everyone on the carte blanche for the ask meme

everyone? oh boy this is gonna get long ajfhdsf

JUNO

First impression: i, like a lot of people who get into the podcast without knowing a great deal about it, was expecting at most an ambiguously bisexual angst machine with a closely-guarded heart of gold. juno being an explicitly bisexual genderqueer angst machine is perhaps the most pleasant surprise of my life. the angst machine heart of gold characters were kind of my type at the time, so i loved him right away

Impression now: every time i think about juno’s arc from depressed mess held together by bad coping mechanisms, safety pins, and a few good strong puns into someone who can talk about his feelings, feel comfortable about being happy, and recognise when he needs to change, i want to cry about it a little bit. the depth of my love for juno steel has only grown along with him

Favourite moment: juno has a lot of great one-liners and i’m still a big fan of the “on the other hand i wasn’t wearing a watch” bit and who can forget such classics as juno finally deciding to stop moping over nureyev and move on only for him to open the door to his apartment and find nureyev sitting in the dark dramatically, but honestly nothing will ever hit me harder than his sudden, pissed-off declaration of “i can’t die yet, i still have shit to do!” in promised land. god.

Idea for a story: oh i have so many and i want to write most of them so no spoilers, but juno accidentally kidnaps a baby during a carte blanche heist and shenanigans ensue

Unpopular opinion: obviously we all know he’s dummy thicc but i feel like a lot of people forget he’s an actual genius, like the stuff he notices and how he strings it together is sometimes so obscure and he’s almost always right. oh, also juno is not skinny and i will not be taking criticism on that

Favourite relationship: this is so tough because every dynamic is so good, but i think it has to be juno and rita. those two are so good! the best best friends in the world!! i’m really a sucker for any dynamic that’s ridiculously in-sync so i loved these two as soon as juno saw rita’s notes in prince of mars and went “makes perfect sense to me” (which it probably didn’t, because rita, but he trusted that she knew what she was doing which is the important part)

Favourite headcanon: this isn’t really a headcanon but i still think about how juno is (was?) deathly afraid of heights but when he heard rex glass coming he still attempted to climb out of the window. either his aversion to working with dark matters/other people in general was so strong is overrided his fear, or his office was actually on the ground floor. not sure which of these is funnier.

NUREYEV

First impression: we’ve all seen the memes about nureyev knowing juno steel for one (1) day and deciding to Risk It All by leaving him with his name, look at this Hopeless Romantic, this utter DISASTER of a homosexual. the fact the very next time we hear from nureyev (at least directly) he’s patiently waiting in juno’s dark apartment to surprise him with a heist definitely supports this image.

Impression now: even after literally being inside peter’s head, i feel like we didn’t get a real sense of who he is until man in glass, where we find out he aggressively compartmentalises everything that causes him stress. he’s also distinctly someone who’s had his heart broken before, i think, which makes those first appearances of his very strange. but it does remind me of what juno says about diamond, and how he decided to provide the trust first and wait for the trustworthiness to grow in (only to get severely hurt), and i think that’s exactly what nureyev did. i am also... very uneasy with how suspicious he’s behaving this season because obviously i want to believe he’ll sort it all out and not betray the crew but... oof

Favourite moment: the beginning of what lies beyond pt1 where he’s affectionately bullying juno into taking care of himself? cleared my crops watered my skin etc etc etc

Idea for a story: i’d love to hear more about his past as a young thief idolising buddy and vespa (i can’t actually remember if that’s canon or fanon but anyway i wanna read it!)

Unpopular opinion: i think people often cling to an image of him that more resembles his first impressions in season 1 instead of seeing the depth that we’ve been given about his character in season 3

Favourite relationship: him and juno but honestly it’s a close call between them and his budding friendship with rita. even though she learned it by accident, his name is still a point of intimacy and it’s one less secret to keep around her which has to be a weight off his shoulders, at least a little? they seem like they could be really good friends once ultrabots is out of the way. juno steel love (and also bullying) zone activates whenever they’re together

Favourite headcanon: i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - nureyev has never done a household chore in his goddamn life. he doesn’t know the water needs to be hot when you wash dishes.

RITA

First impression: honestly i’m not sure? i don’t remember having a big awareness of her in murderous mask but i remember loving her “note-taking” in prince of mars, i thought she sounded really fun and cute

Impression now: rita is really fun and cute, she’s also an extremely hardworking and dedicated woman who had the guts to throw in with a detective fired from the force and then invest all of her time and money into helping him help people.

Favourite moment: Rita Gets A Knife. enough said

Idea for a story: i don’t know honestly! i really struggle to write rita because her thought processes are so wild and i don’t think any story i could come up with would match mega ultrabots of cyberjustice.

Unpopular opinion: this shouldn’t be unpopular because juno steel himself shares this opinion but all future-jupeter headcanons are incomplete without rita also being a huge part of their lives

Favourite relationship: rita + franny 4ever obviously.. jk it’s juno & rita have you heard rita minute 3 they’re too adorable for this world. im still Soft over their conversation at the end of soul of the people when he said he couldn’t stay in hyperion anymore but he wouldn’t leave with the carte blanche if rita wasn’t coming because he was done leaving her behind, and she threw out all her hesitations on the spot and said call the big guy. speaking of, rita & jet are a close second. instant best friends i love them.

Favourite headcanon: i think this is basically canon now but rita being literally half the height of jet is so good

JET

First impression: “haha lorge funny man puts juno in the trash”

Impression now: jet sikuliaq is one of the dearest characters to me out of anything ever. he is a huge, menacing, polite, kind, sincere man who i would very much like to give me a hug. he’s the best aro ace in outer space and while being generally very levelheaded and straightforward, also takes every opportunity to fuck with juno because it’s very easy and very hilarious to him personally. he is everything my autistic acearo ass needed and i’m so glad to have him

Favourite moment: all of them every single one. him putting juno in the trash is of course a classic and every moment jet chooses to be funny makes my heart happy, but also every piece of genuine advice he gives. i’m a particular fan though of buddy recounting her years in the lighthouse and him saying he became concerned when she didn’t come downstairs at the usual time. “you took the door off its hinges.” “i was deeply concerned.” king of understatement

Idea for a story: again no spoilers for you but..... tools of rust time loop au

Unpopular opinion: this isn’t “unpopular” as much as it is unknown but jet is buddy’s queerplatonic partner and i will keep saying it until everyone believes it

Favourite relationship: jet and buddy,,, just everything about them. the way he suspects when she’s lying, the way she makes tea for him when she expects him to drop by. the fact he comes to check on her when she is 41 seconds late to the family meeting because it’s unlike her to be late and the last time she was late for something her brain was turning to radiation soup. but most especially the way she snaps at him to stay out of her business and he said he could not because he made her promise eight years ago to never stay out of the business of her health, no matter how many times she asked. they r literally in a qpr

Favourite headcanon: i don’t think this is true but i still think it would be funny if the ruby-7 used to be painted red but when jet got it he had it painted green because he Just Really Likes Green (as evidenced by his hovercycle). it’s very funny to me.

BUDDY

First impression: it’s been a minute since i relistened to time gone by but i’m pretty sure the first thing she ever says in the podcast is sliding up to depressed accidental whiskey thief juno and say “that’ll be ten million creds,” scaring the shit out of him, so needless to say i was in love instantly.

Impression now: my love for buddy aurinko has only grown and if it sounds like i already said that in this post it’s because i did about juno and it’s appropriate because the parallels are astounding. the heart of it all gave us such depth to buddy’s internal monologue and why she always sounds like she knows exactly what to say and what that’s like and honestly will i ever be over the heart of it all as an episode? unlikely. i think i’m gonna have a little piece of it in MY heart forever.

Favourite moment: everything she’s ever said is iconic as hell i especially like “in an impressive fit of hubris i’ve decided not to prepare my words for this vow” which made me laugh out loud but once again i must give it up for her iconic “I WANT TO LIVE” moment. honourable mentions to her taking rita out for ice cream and giving juno shooting lessons while she’s in her actual wedding gown. i love her

Idea for a story: buddy and vespa as sun/moon dieties.... that’s all

Unpopular opinion: stop drawing her with a fancy high-tech eye like the theia!! it canonically looks like garbage and it’s described in detail, please, i’m dying, also don’t minimise her scars you bastards

Favourite relationship: buddy and vespa invented romantic love and the entire carte blanche crew’s relationship to her is great but you know by now i’m a slut for buddy & jet out-of-this-world queerplatonic partners. the way she checks in on him during tools of rust to make sure he’s not relapsing and he comes to find her when she is 41 seconds late in the heart of it all to make sure she’s not having a heart problem!! it’s the trust,, the devotion,, the mortifying ordeal of being known

Favourite headcanon: she can sing. absolutely tears it up at karaoke. i’m right

VESPA

First impression: knife lesbian goes STAB. she will heal your wounds but she will be threatening to give you more the whole time

Impression now: she is extremely strong, heart-rendingly tender, and despite being in the older half of the carte blanche crew somehow has unmistakable little sister energy which makes her downright hilarious. i’m so glad she got to marry buddy and they’re official space wives now they’re so good for each other

Favourite moment: both from shadows in the ship, either “GUN!!” “KNIFE?!” (iconic) or when she clocks the dark matters drone pretending to be juno because it called her crazy and juno wouldn’t call her crazy. i’m always a sucker for “shapeshifter fails to fool mark because they Know Each Other Too Well” and it was just *chefs kiss* so good

Idea for a story: i really want to write something about when she was first staying at the lighthouse with buddy post-reunion, and getting to know jet and stuff. i think it would be cute

Unpopular opinion: i know vespa doesn’t canonically have lots of scarring but people who don’t draw her with scarring? cowards.

Favourite relationship: once again, although buddy and vespa invented romantic love, i just love the dynamic between vespa and juno so much. they’ve come so far with each other and their weird sibling dynamic gives me life. at the end of what lies beyond when juno says “we’re not gonna kill her, vespa” and instead of sounding full of Rage and Suspicion she’s like “whyyy notttt?” and he’s like “because i said so!” and that’s just good enough for her even if she’s a bit grumpy about it. i love it.

this took.. a hot minute to do! jshkfjsdgsa thank you dyl ily <3

#michaelburnnham #riley replies #be gay do crimes in space #the penumbra #juniverse

[flowerslightning]

(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 remake #final fantasy gif #ff7r #mygif #ff7r spoilers #cloud ff7 #cloud strife gif #sephiroth gif #final fantasy sephiroth #character analysis #psychology #psychiatric disorders #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough

[scullllaaaaayyyy]

yo...i wanna hear more about your scully + bpd theory

First of all, you read the tags, so I love you.

Second, I'm not sure how much of my headcanons actually fit her personality super well, and how much I project onto her, since I identified with Scully after getting into the x files as a way to cope with trauma.

Anyway~

So, I'll go through the symptoms of bpd and how I see them in her

Efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

First of all, she grew up moving a lot, unable to form long-term bonds with people outside her family, as said tagged post implies. But she also talks about how she tries to avoid getting close with people, not because she doesn't want to, but because she is afraid of them leaving her (Christmas Carol). In a way, you can also see this in her relationship with Mulder, going above and beyond so he stays with her. You can deeply see this in seasons 8 and 9 while he is gone, and then her willingness to drop her ENTIRE LIFE to go on the run with him.

A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, swinging from intense closeness and love to to extreme dislike or anger

Now this is what the bpd community calls 'splitting'. We don't see Scully majorly splitting to my knowledge, but you can see the devaluation in episodes like Syzygy (was it the planets? Maybe. Was it bpd? Also maybe.), where we can see her anger after finding Mulder and detective White in the hotel, and again at the end of the episode where she runs the stop sign and tells Mulder to shut up. You can see her anger at Mulder in episodes like Never Again as well. I also personally think Wetwired is an example, as many people with bpd find that their greatest fear is being abandoned or having their loved ones leave. Her greatest fear while in psychosis was that Mulder had turned on her. (I'm sure there are other examples but that's what I've got for now)

Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors

First, let's get the obvious out of the way, Never Again, sleeping with a murderer, a tattoo, etc. But, she has also shown that she smokes when frustrated (like in Syzygy). I can't think of much else she does in her personal life like this, but En Ami also strikes me as something both dangerous and impulsive, so idk if something like that 'counts'. And going in to Padgett's apartment in Milagro, even though he is a suspect (without letting her partner know!). Also reckless driving on occasion, though that is less common.

Distorted and unstable self image

Scully has shown that she is often questioning herself and what she does, if she's a good person, making the right choices, etc. I think this is impacted by not only her religious upbringing, but also by her father's disapproval in her career choice. It may be that she is seeking validation and approval through others, and that is how she views herself. She also throws herself into her work when upset, and I believe that is because she wants the validation of having a job well done, so she can use that to lift her mood and sense of self.

Chronic feelings of emptiness

I dont really have an exact pinpoint for this one, but I do recall her saying that she doesn't know what they're doing in regards to work anymore, not knowing what to do anymore, etc. Though Never Again does state that she feels disillusioned with her life, at least in the description (it's been a hot minute since I watched that through!)

Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events

So with this one, it is like episodic anger, sadness, or irritability in regards to a 'normal' event. There are times when Scully seems to be angry or irritated at seemingly nothing, or something very small. The emotional reaction does not seem to match the event that triggered it. Examples that I can think of: Bad Blood (if Mulder's story is to be trusted), and Syzygy (if it wasn't the planets). There are others that I just have a feeling about, but nothing canonical.

In conclusion, thank you for asking this question. I do believe scully could be diagnosed with bpd, there need to be 5 of 9 criteria met, and she sufficiently meets 6, imo. Some of the criteria im not sure if she canonically meets,, but in my mentally ill opinion, it just ~feels right~. I actually wrote a paper on her having bpd for an abnormal psychology class in college. It got a B+! I have since lost my electronic copy, so I unfortunately cannot show you.

If anybody has any questions about bpd, my experience, or about the post in general, feel free to ask!

#if this doesnt make sense im so sorry i work 3rd shift and this is like midnight for me #im sleepy but i love getting asks because i feel ~needed and validated~ so i had to answer before bed #questions #me #scully has bpd fight me

[world-love-government]

Inserting Graveyards into my dreams

Well this morning waking up (early moments of waking consciousness) I had an oddly specific vision/dream of a graveyard that was shown to me/inserted into my mind and remember a "frightened" reaction, like someone/something was forcing this image/vision/dream into my head. The voices im constantly speaking with just continue laughing at this torment/remote bullying/gang-stalking like they're getting away with planning to murder me. Hey Krusty the clown drowns out any concern of how these acts from my perspective constantly rival medical experimentation found in the Holocaust. I have to constantly use a cotton swab in my left ear to keep back the spiritual rapists who insist on creating a "nightmare vision" (Awww poor little ojibwe boy, boo-hoo! said the witch). According to the voices my lifetime memories are all being polluted and altered so that everything is "demonic" or "humiliation" (i.e. - Imagine if someone told you this, they could do anything to your mind like make a memory of your family turn into rotting corpses, etc.)

They even congratulate each other at a job well done, like this new level of atrocity that rivals the holocaust is something to be proud of. I thought this is proof of unsalvagable human trash if its all really happening.

Now I have to assume all my memories of this lifetime are ruined, polluted, they can do whatever, I guess turn my mom into a corpse getting raped, or make it seem like angry thugs/mobs from Toronto are/were beating me up, that minorities and brown people are demons attacking you (they do the swipe/suck/hit attack often when I pass by ethnic/racialized minorities - often brown and black people that ticks me off because its like theyre racist and I suspect they want me to think negative thoughts when they do this, like they want me to attack brown and blacks or carry out a false flag)

There will never be enough words to describe how rotten, disgusting, and demonic the voices are that I speak with. Whatever it is, hate is necessary for it to exist; my concepts of love to these people is like poison or unacceptable as if these demons only wish to create a world of pain, misery, suffering, and humiliation for everyone. The voices I speak with at the same time are addicts and junkies whose pleasure comes at the cost of everyone else who wishes not to participate in their outlook and order that thrives on the humiliation of others. As I type these words, the witch cackles, and ghouls remain satisfied in corruption, blackmail, and inhumanity.

Whats really going on inside my head, body, and left ear?

Will I ever be able to find a doctor or health professional who isn't "blackmailed" into silence?

How are these voices really sabotaging my "lifetime memory?"

Once again I will mention that if people are congratulating each other at this level of experimentation on the human body in a spiritual, mental, or physical sense, you might as well congratulate nazis for exterminating/experimenting on their opponents/discriminated groups. Youre a fool or blind if youre acting like this doesnt resemble a threat worse than nazi germany. My life has turned into a medical experiment and war against Orwellian/Gestapo/Secret Police bullies or gangstalkers that constantly threaten to alter, eat and destroy the soul of an Ojibwe-Canadian and they should all burn in hell for this In a future post, I will be summarizing how this threat is the new "nazi threat" to the human race that has to be exterminated and destroyed. For the past 3 days these voices have been 24/7 "hitting/swiping/sucking" in my left ear area. Once again, this is something so extraordinary I knew it had to be documented to the greater public in all outcomes. Sometimes I'm convinced there's a live intelligence or consciousness behind all this, other times it seems less than human. It just hasn't stopped however (for the past 3 days or so its been the same behavior), it just keeps on going like there's either a large group involved or a few people addicted to abusing me or however/whatever it is. I cant help but return to the thought you people have to be coping for whatever reason. It would seem the phenomenon is multifunctional; it seems, and for the female voice especially, they thrive on my (1) emotional reactions or responses to events, but at the same time theyve been (2) "sucking/hitting/taking" and then softly "putting it back" or inserting something else (all resembles a wind/blow/suckage like phenomenon). They're easily distracted by stupid or gimmicky sounds and videos that really serves as one of the most efficient defenses.

[mallahanmoxie]

i know this behaviour is a relic of my hilariously ironically unfinished higher education but i cannot move forward with the kids' sorting until i have finished at the very least the whole novel, if not all the side stories as well. i just need to have the most amount of facts available to be able to rule on this or i fear i'm going to end up awfully misjudging everything (i'm only on volume 9 of 15!!!!!) and inso's law is both too fucking wild and its character arcs too goddamn important to ignore.

so have my preliminary and very very very shallow sortings with brief explanations under the cut instead, i guess

ham dani

primary: ravenclaw

secondary: hufflepuff (most likely)

i think the primary is pretty straightforward. ham dani has a system that she measures all new information against: her knowledge of webnovels and belief she is inside one direct practically all her actions and have a chokehold on most of her thoughts. the nuances of this belief change throughout the story but she is always seen reasoning against this external system and deferring to it in spite of her immediate feelings. as far as secondary, i lean towards hufflepuff because dani's like an interesting people magnet, somewhat unconsciously forming communities wherever she goes, and she works so hard when she wants something. she went to cram school every day after what happened in february still, she studies so hard despite her grades, she toils at her relationships with the others.

eun jiho

primary: gryffindor or ravenclaw

secondary: slytherin

i do think he's an idealist for a primary, i'm just not sure which. i hesitate to say if his expectations/upbringing are the system by which he measures the world (and dani is. always wrecking havoc on this) or if he feels what is right and as he grows this diverges from what he's been taught and thus why his feelings for dani represent such a point of contention. i still don't know. i lean towards gryffindor, though. he's most definitely a sytherin secondary, though. the cold persona was probably taught as well, and likely comfortable, but he doesn't seem uncomfortable by it (unlike jooin, in a way) and his quick switch with dani from sweet to normal when talking in his father's presence when he could have waited is quite slytherin to me. he's mostly in his neutral state with dani tho.

ban yeoryung & yoo chunyoung

primary: slytherin

secondary: gryffindor

lumping them together because they turned out to have the same. originally pinged yeoryung as a true gryffindor, but i think her undying loyalty to dani and dani alone is pretty telling. her morality might rely a lot on her gryffindor secondary, but it doesn't matter what's right as long as dani is okay. i had no idea with chunyoung until i thought of how threatened he is by ruda trying to pull dani from their inner circle and thought it made sense. chunyoung is constantly surrounded and affirmed by his close circle of loved ones so that outlier is both unprecedented and distressing. ban yeoryung is as gryffindor secondary as can be--bold and brash and even violent. chunyoung is a quieter but equally self assured flavour of gryffindor, blunt and unapologetic in his true self, unaccostumed and distrustful of lies and deceit.

woo jooin

primary: burnt gryffindor

secondary: ravenclaw

jooin's past definitely did incredibe damage to his self-image. i figured he'd be more than not a burnt primary and started looking at those. i was torn between hufflepuff (it seemed like he wanted to be more than what he was, but i wasn't sure if that was directed to people in general or just as a way to make up for what he'd done. also suspected he'd left himself out of his concept of 'people' and had restricted his circle to his friends and family only) but his internal struggle ended up feeling more like a gryffindor's guilt over his breached felt moral code and lack of faith in being able to redeem himself or follow a straight path again. i also thought hufflepuff (even slytherin) for the secondary on account of his intermingling but ended up thinking of the people he befriends and his "facade" as skills in his toolkit, legacy of that lady's influence on him. his personal relationships are tools as is every other bit of information he keeps on them, including who knows who and what are they experts in and how he can use them. likewise, his frantic trying to call ham dani and the wall of post its he puts up after she disappears sounded rather in line with that.

kwon eunhyung

primary: hufflepuff? slytherin? he's schroddinger's primary but he is likely burnt.

secondary: hufflepuff

listen, i have no idea what the fuck is going on in eunhyung's head, like, ever. he's the least explored so far to me so everything he does is a surprise in some shape or form. i think he tends towards one of the more steady ones—somehow i can't help jut read his shrewdness as something put upon but im not willing to bet on that. he just seems to hate the mind games of the yoos so much. like with jooin, i think his childhood trauma has burnt his primary to the ground and his secondary has taken the wheel. he's very hufflepuff at a first glance—reliable class president, always taking care of chunyoung and everyone, making sure to keep good relations with the other classrooms etc etc etc. it feels like the hufflepuff that is toiling at relationships knowing their eventual payoff. i know he's the rank 0 fighter (and i'm very curious about that) but i have no idea what that says about him beyond his incessant need not to draw unduly attention towards himself. dunno. i still love him.

#oh how i hate the ravenclawness of that first paragraph but what can you do #the lion reads #i guess #inso post