#i think i just live there now

[koifsssh]

ohhh, the update,,, very very very soon... i'm excited!!! but i'm trying not to think about it too much!

it's the kind of excitement where your chest gets all tight and you get all stupid with giddy... i just wish to see everyone again and their lovely little houses!

the secrets! i wonder what secrets we will find... bwah!!!

i drew wally to try to get some of it out of my system... but some of it is still there, bwahhh!

#wally darling #welcome home #myart #welcome home wally #my stomach twists at the thought... in a good way! #for me it is technically the 22nd... it's 1 am #i drew this on magma #i think i just live there now #additionally! i found a song that makes my brain swirl with colors and glitter! #hole-dwelling by kikuo... #it's such a pretty song! bwah! #i've been listening to it all day #it feels like my thoughts are in a pastel spiral swirling around with hues of blue and purple... #very few songs get me to have such vivid visions... #bwah! #im talking nonsense! #goodbye!

[hartro-owns-my-heart-ro]

”getting thicker skin” is great in theory but I think for some people “get better at handling your thin skin” is gonna be way more helpful advice. I have strong emotional reactions to criticism and they might never go away, but i can continue to try and handle each situation maturely and that’s the important part. Sometimes irrational feelings are chronic and living with them is better than trying to beat yourself up into not having them.

#ive cried over completely minor critical discussions so many times this year that im starting to think it’ll just always be a thing #so now i wanna work on living with it #mental health #ok to reblog

[mxcrayon]

losing my actual mind rn

i had this interaction in the dropout discord (i am the first and third person). short. simple. i only got the first year bc of a discount + a gift card i had, so i was planning on using this person's suggestion.

then, i got this.

oh my god!! how nice!! how sweet!!! how thoughtful!! i gave them my email and they sent over a subscription, i thanked them profusely. i was very grateful, very touched.

hours and hours later i was still thinking about it and i recalled how, in the email id gotten about it, it said "tao yang sent you a subscription" and id seen that and thought "oh haha like the tao yang" and then moved on

but now, thinking back, i was like.... theres no way, so i googled tao yang.

......

TAO YANG BOUGHT ME A FUCKING ANNUAL DROPOUT SUBSCRIPTION

#tao yang #dropout #dropout.tv #dimension 20 #AAAAAAAAAAA #losing my literal actual mind #i think hes so funny #i was already rly grateful and touched and now im just like flustered and starstruck #this is quite literally the most celebrity interaction ive ever had in my life #and i didnt even realize while it was happening #now i want to message him again but i feel like thatd be weird #sam responded to my question once and i still think about it now months latwr #bc THAT had been the most direct celebrity intersection id had #and this was like six levels above that #crazy world we live in #anyway. i have dropout again!!!! yippee!!!!

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍 #hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well. #obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it. #realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway. #so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct! #and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want... #best case scenario. is what i'm saying. #every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day. #fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :) #aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself. #FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[likeprongstostars]

guys i promise i have other ideas i just go back to drawing domestic jegulus at every minor inconvenience

#me having 10 started wips #and my brain just goes #LISTEN... HEAR ME OUT... WHAT IF... BARE WITH ME NOW... we draw jegulus sleeping together for the 285th time #i think i keep drawing sleeping ppl bc i cant sleep myself #youve heard of living through someone else now get ready for sleeping through someone else #googling “insomnia symptoms” every 3 days just to make sure #anyways where was i going with this... #marauders era #marauders fanart #regulus black #james potter #regulus black fanart #jegulus #james potter fanart #jegulus fanart #my art

[bastardlybonkers]

feetman

#hlvrai #half live vr but the ai is self aware #gordon freeman #gordon feetman #so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne #but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy #cause like to me #a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like #no actual stakes #dude is getting pissed for the sake of it #he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know #now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing #or how he got the game #is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows! #hes The Player #also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons #its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao #also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit #and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi #i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis #sorry for long tags

[kagoutiss]

pelican town, ‘72

#stardew valley #stardew valley spoilers #sdv #sdv spoilers #grandpa #mister qi #mr. qi #idk how dates work in stardew universe im just bullshittin #i love qi’s huge fucking eyebrows you dont notice them at first but theyre there #(gives our collective grandpa a ponytail) i think he had one. whatever #’why isnt mister qi blue’ my hc is he is blue from long-term iridium supplementation #and was originally just a regular person #but also it’s nice to see ur fav be like a normal human color #if u read tag essays tho consider this: #qi discovers secret to immortality (consuming iridium in a specific manner) #wants to share discovery with his farmer (player’s grandpa) and in that way. they will have all the time in the world to build #a perfect farming/business empire whose legacy will last forever and ever and theyll be 2gether forever #but it turns out. like a lot of normal people would. his farmer does not want to live forever #and obv he doesn’t #in an attempt to try not to ever lose the thing that means more to him than anything else in the world. qi inadvertantly ensures he will #because his farmer is dead. and he’s going to live forever #but. it’s kind of ok. because he has infinite money and was able to figure out how to talk to his dead bf #and now YOU help them fulfill their joint goal of making the farm’s legacy last forever #smile. heart #sobbing

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti

#just a little guy learning to be tall... hard work #now if yall will excuse me im gonna shove my head into boiling water #that oughta fix me #pls enjoy the additional scribbles of his Attempts #they were too important in my mind not to include #godddddd i love himmmmmmm just a little guyyyyyy #i gotta puzzle out how to draw ms beagle #ive never drawn a chicken! much less a chicken puppet! #wait no sorry that was a fucking lie #i have drawn like. 2 chickens previously In My Life. i think... i could be wrong! #ive never claimed to have a working or reliable memory <3 #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #barnaby b beagle #hes just so small and sweet and immmmmm IMMMMMMM #unwell. simply unwell yes yes #there's no saving me! leave me for the vultures! allow me to live up to my url! #puppy barnaby already makes me feel as though my ribcage has been cracked open #might as well let the scavengers have a Taste. im sure im delicious!

[stuckinapril]

megan thee stallion is the perfect example of unbothered energy. nicki has repeatedly vagueposted about her, gone on unhinged rants about her, gone so far as to mention her dead mother (such a classless low blow), threatened her on live, and has now released the tackiest diss track in history. and what has megan done? literally nothing. she straight up ignored her, aside from that one ig story where she posted herself laughing (which was perfect btw). she is the epitome of “i will not dignify that w a response.” i love it.

#btw i was rly into megan before it became trendy now in light of her dropping hiss / the nicki debacle #nicki’s latest music has been ass anyway but it’s sad to see her behaving like this to newer rap girls #the parasocial hate is literally so intense / insane like i can’t imagine hating someone enough to be persistently harassing them like this #nicki’s a celeb so you’d think she’d know a thing or two about how dangerous it is to pit her fans on somebody else like this #unless this is all just a bid to stay relevant which i would not be surprised ab but nicki seems PRESSED. #i guess if i released something like pink friday 2 id also be feeling threatened by a new rap girl w the bars megan has #i just want her to leave my homegirl megan alone. good on megan for ignoring and living her best life. the energy i wanna emulate #i’m not usually one to play into the whole pit women against other women thing but nicki’s recent actions are so inappropriate. wild #btw megan majored in health administration in uni?? which is a major factor as to why i’m obsessed w her. anyway #text

[tamelee]

Happy 3/7day 🥰~! 'One day we'll look back on all these memories and smile about it'

Process + detail:

#my art #sasunaru #sns #sasuke x naruto #sasunaru day #sasunaru fanart #I'll post this for now since it's a special day~ #but I'm seriously going to think about this whole art posting... #regarding ai and all #I mentioned it briefly before #but ai literally ruined the 2 biggest projects I was asked to work on #and another that I was going to work on #I had another opportunity here where I was going to get paid #for drawings somewhat regularly #but instead the offer changed to paying for my art #only to be trained for ai #so that didn't happen either #I shall not complain too much #I'm just amazed at the careless way some talk about it #because IT IS ruining lives and careers #ai IS already very advanced #:((

[somethingcorenotsure]

I think it's so adorable that early humans took wild gourds - a tiny fruit that hollows out as it dries, making it float - and decided to make something out of it

they thought the tiny fruit was so good that they bred it for thousands of years, making it larger to form into bowls and cups, and different shapes to become bottles and spoons

and musical instruments

And then, people took the hollow gourds they farmed, and they turned them into houses for birds. We adapted them into the perfect houses for birds, and now there are specific breeds of birdhouse gourd just for making into birdhouses

And humans dedicated gardening space and time and thousands of years of breeding to make the gourds so absolutely perfect for birds, that there is a species of bird that lives almost exclusively in them

#yes I KNOW i posted about this the other day but *crying* i just love plant domestication and the history of agriculture #and humanity's positive affect on the ecosystems we live in #mine #image IDs in alt text #hmm. I'm gonna tag this #permaculture #just to pspsps @ that community to look at how cool gourds are please everyone grow birdhouse gourds and give cavity nesters places to live #i don't think mine will become fully ripe before i get my first frost :( next year i need to start gourds indoors #i didn't want to grow them before because i didn't have much garden space but now i do and i need to grow all of them #i might be. a little obsessed with gourds. but also i saw a pair of purple martins flying by the road last year #and i had never seen one before then! and i need to see more of them #i have a few hundred barn swallows but i need more birds flying around my house. more!! #and also i have a ton of invasive cavity nesting species around here. house sparrows and starlings. #gotta make up for those things competing with native birds for nest dites #*sites #the invasive birds very often win :/ #that's why they're invasive #i really do need to start trapping them....

[nerdpoe]

Damian's online friend is sleeping over at Wayne Manor, and its going great.

Well, until he dies.

They had all gone down to "sleep", which meant that they had Daniel go to sleep while everyone went out on patrol.

Upon returning, Damian checked on Daniel.

Just to make sure that his Grandfather had not sent any assassins that had taken advantage of Damian's weakness in friendships, of course.

Daniel isn't breathing.

When Damian goes to check his pulse, it isn't there.

Damian storms out of the room on a warpath; he would find who had killed his friend and he would make them pay.

Danny wakes up six hours later on a metal slab in a secret underground lair with one Leslie Thompkins hovering over him with a scalpel.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #personally i think danny and damian would get along #canonically danny is a little shit who likes to deliberately antagonize people #damian is a little shit who loves to antagonize people as well and would absolutely feed on this #together it's hell for everyone else #they gossip and push ALL the buttons #but danny pulls damian back from taking things a bit too far #so now damian is convinced some rando assassin just killed one of his two best friends #jon is fine he lives with clark #damian isn't worried about that beyond how he'll tell jon #but atm damian has to convert his grief into rage

[ruporas]

i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a #lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece #of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't #just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood #was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know #otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo #where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before #but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash #98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle #whenever ww complimented his smile though #and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other #with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt #more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances #mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash #saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2.... #ruporas art

[gay-otlc]

The people who think gay trans man have straight privilege because they have the "option" to "escape" homophobia and live as straight women are blatantly disregarding the fact that for a lot of trans people, the options aren't "gay trans man" or "cis straight woman." It's "gay trans man" or "dead."

#this post was inspired by my friend (mostly stealth trans man) who has dealt with a lot of homophobia from his bf's parents #and transphobes might make the argument that the homophobia he faced doesn't count because he could have just lived as a woman #and then dated his bf more safely #but i genuinely don't think he would be alive right now if he hadn't been able to transition #so yeah. just being a woman to escape homphobia isn't really an option for a lot of trans men #transandrophobia #apologies if this is not my place to speak about as a straight trans man. i was just having thoughts and wanted to share

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself