#i think i made a point here somewhere….

[pixiesfz]

old friend from school t.m x r

plot: you recently move to England after living in Australia your whole life

warnings: some facts could be wrongs, there is one point in this where the r does something and if I saw it in real life I would cringe

You had finally set up your new apartment, taking photos of it to send to your mum who was eager to see your décor skills. Your heart was bumping, you had officially moved to Europe, something you had always wanted to do since you were seventeen.

Australia was great and you loved the setting and the atmosphere but you always yearned to be somewhere where you could always have a fresh start.

Plus, you were pretty sure the girls in Europe love the Aussie accent.

“This looks sick” Your best friend Emily piped up from behind you, letting herself in “yeah?” you asked and she nodded “Looks ready for a housewarming party” She smirked and you shook your head

“no”

“Oh c’mon! You need more friends other than me and some girls from high school moved here as well”

You huffed “We never talked to those girls” you hummed and she crossed her head “We talked to Teagan”

You whipped your head up “Teagan’s in Europe?” you asked and your best friend smirked “Yep, she just started playing in the WSL” she proudly said “Do you both still talk?” you asked and she shrugged “when we bump into each other at gatherings, we talk about you sometimes”

You tensed “Why?” your question made your best friend laugh “Oh I don’t know maybe because you were both madly in love with each other”

You scoff “No we were not”

“Yes you were and then you pussied away because you got scared”

You gave your friend a pointed glare “She was going to UCLA for college, I was going to Latrobe University in Melbourne, it wouldn’t have worked”

“So you admit you did have feelings for her?”

“Emily!”

“What,” she said innocently, and you grumbled “It’s been almost seven years, I’ve had girlfriends since then and she probably has to”

“To be fair you haven’t seen each other since, have you even talked online?”

Guilt washed over you as you remembered her name popping up on your phone and you ignoring it “no” you said and your best friend nodded, a silence going over your apartment.

“Well, you still need more friends”.

“Is this how I’m going to make new friends?” you ask Emily as you walk into Prenton Park where the game would be played “I have some friends here that want to meet you” she says simply and you rolled your eyes “All right fine”.

“Who’s playing again?” You ask and your friend shuffled her feet “Chelsea and Liverpool” You nodded “Cool, I was more of an Arsenal fan but-“ “That’s only because they have the most Aussies” your friend interrupted you and you shrugged “Don’t hate me because I love my country”

You were completely fine until the teams ran out, you were next to Liverpool's side of the tunnel and watched everyone run out with a small “woo” on your behalf.

You watched the back of their heads as they all ran, unbeknownst to you your best friend watching you with a smirk, waiting for Liverpool’s goalkeeper to turn around so you could see her face.

Your eyes followed the goalkeepers head, she reminded you of someone from back home.

“Don’t you think that-“

Your voice stopped as she turned around, clapping to the fans. Teagan as beautiful as ever with her hair up, she had obviously died it blonde recently. Your mouth was agape from shock as Emily giggled from aside from you, waving to some of the girls in the team.

“When you said you wanted me to meet your friends I think you forgot to mention they were in the team”

“I’m full of surprises”

You rolled your eyes but felt like hiding behind the gate, which had holes in it so your presence would still be seen, your next option was to use your scarf as a mask but the perfume you had sprayed on it was strong and you think it might kill you if you held it there for the whole game.

“You also forgot to mention Teagan’s team was Liverpool, I assumed Man United or City”

“I thought you wouldn’t come if I said so”

You just hummed and nodded, agreeing with her. In all fairness, you probably would’ve.

You leaned down to rummage through your bag as your friend tapped your back “What?”

“someone’s looking at us” she whispered and you shot your head up in protectiveness, assuming it was a creepy man “Who?” you asked and you were met with the eyes of your old friend from school.

She raised her brows in shock as she held on to the ball, her teammates asking her to throw it back but she was frozen solid “fuck” you mumbled under your breath and you were sure she did the same.

She looked older, but you knew that from a now and then stalk on her social media and you thought she may have been thinking the same.

You felt like you had been staring at her for five minutes before her teammate yanked the ball out of her hands, taking you both out of your trances as you shot your head to Emily.

“Well, that was a bit hard to watch”.

It was after the first half you got really into the game, you had to admit Teaghan was playing extremely well, Number 33 for Chelsea had been firing shots and she was deflecting almost all of them, you couldn’t help but cheer loudly.

It reminded you back in high school when she invited you to all her games, especially in her young Matilda’s games, those were her favourites, and she loved representing her country.

“You’re not mad at me are you?” Your friend asked, slightly guilty by her actions “Depends on if I make a fool of myself in front of the team” you smirked, knowing that you would be extremely nervous meeting them.

When the two teams came out again you cheered loudly for Liverpool, you and Emily sharing a Liverpool scarf as a cameraman shot a video of you both.

Your eyes fell on Teagan as she took her spot in front of the net, she looked nervous as she fiddled with her gloves. This win meant a lot to them apparently, Chelsea was a big team in the WSL, they win a lot and can be described as 'cocky’ at least by Emily.

You thought back to High school when you went to her games and took a deep breath before using your hands and putting them at the sides of your mouth.

“Let’s go Teagzy!” you yelled out to her before clapping, something you used to yell out to her every game.

The girl looked up at your voice immediately, shocked that you’d even speak up. She nodded and smiled to herself nonetheless and got ready before Chelsea got the ball into their forward line.

The cheers grew louder each and every time Teaghan made a save and you and Emily couldn’t help but stand up and cheer when the whistle blew.  

After celebrating the win the players started to walk around the pitch, interacting with fans and family.

Some of the girls went straight to Emily who introduced you to them “Where’s Teaghan?” Emily asked and the girls looked around “I think she went straight into the tunnel” one girl said and you nodded, Emily looked back at you, guilt practically written on her face.

“She said she wanted to see someone though” one of the girls piped up “An old friend from school she said,” another one said and you smiled “Okay”

“I’m having some girls over tonight at mine if you guys want to come,” Emily said and all the girls nodded

“just please don’t bring any Chelsea girls I think I might drunkenly piss them off”.

You were late to Emily’s.

You didn’t mean to, usually you are the first to an event but you caught yourself stuck in your wardrobe figuring out what to wear.

To tight.

To revealing.

To colourful.

Not revealing enough.

You finally settled on jeans and a nice top, bringing a win with you as you knocked on the door to see an already tipsy Emily.

“Teaghan!”

Well maybe more than Tipsy.

The girl quickly grabbed you by your hand and searched the room, you tried to follow her eyesight but she was too quick before she pushed you toward someone making you squeal.

It didn’t seem like the other girl was prepared either but with her quick reflexes she grabbed your waist with one hand and your hand that held the wine in the other.

“uh hello”

Your eyes widened as you looked up to Teaghen, recognizing her voice.

“I am going to kill her,” you said before pulling your arms away, your high school crush immediately coming back at the feeling of her skin brushing yours

“You’d rather kill your best friend than talk to me”

You dropped your mouth into an ‘o’ shape “No I wanted to talk to you, really I just thought maybe after one or two drinks that maybe I could have the confidence to“ You stopped after seeing her grinning smirk on her face “Teaghan” you deadpanned and she laughed “I’m only kidding with you”

“I needed to talk to you too”.

You slightly blushed at her saying ‘needed’ but you looked away “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you” you hummed and she nodded “seven years to be exact” she added on and you grimaced “How was UCLA?” you asked and she smiled “It was great, a bit rocky at first but I got into it, found some life long friends” you smiled “that’s great and obviously your living your dream now”

She smiled “I wouldn’t say dream-“ “oh shut up”

She laughed softly before gesturing her drink to you “What’s brought you here on a holiday?” she asked and you shook your head “not a holiday, I’m here for good” you said proudly and she raised her brows “oh shit” she laughed “well warning for the weather but from memory you like the cold” she smiled and you agreed.

A silence went over and you grimaced, remembering what you had done to her after high school.

“I’m sorry,” you said and she looked at you “What?” “For after school, I just- you were moving to America for four years and I was still at home I just got scared” you trailed off and the girl nodded “Oh”

“yeah” you murmured, looking away before the soccer player turned your head back to her “After a while I realised, my roommate Jessie kinda yelled at me for being upset and then I got scared and never communicated back”

“Jessie seems nice”

“She’s Canadian”

“Sounds about right” you both laughed and you grabbed your wine “I’m going to open this,” you said, a bit awkwardly if you said so yourself “Do you want me to come?” Teaghan asked and you smiled “Yes please”.

“I did that!” Emily yelled as you both walked by her, the two of you just laughing at your friends antics.

#woso #woso soccer #woso community #woso x reader #matildas #teagan micah x reader #teagan micah #liverpool #liverpool fc

[xzhdjsj]

Remnants of the Past

Xanthus x Reader

Slow dancing with Xanthus

Here's that draft I mentioned in your comments @chilliesillie!

Uhhhh I'm sorry in advance👁👁

Clai yes you🫵 that apology doesn't apply to you jk jk ily<3

Also just for you I made sure Love tells Xanthus they love him in this one!

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

And if you have a minute, why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So, why don't we go somewhere only we know?

The waves crashed against a rocky edge where the land touched the sea, each crash a rhythmic roar of nature's might.

The blindfold on your eyes left everything to your imagination, the rest of your sense dances with the stimulation of the elements, the cold breeze against your skin, the relentless surge of the waves and seagulls screeching overhead.

Xanthus’ unwavering insistence on the blindfold, urged you to keep it in place until deemed fit for you to remove it. You embraced his request without hesitation, excited for whatever surprise he had planned for you. With his guidance leading your steps, you didn’t feel a single ounce of worry or concern. You trusted him wholeheartedly after all.

"I smell the ocean." You smile.

"Well that much is obvious, isn't it? You can hear it too." His body moves behind yours, gently pulling at the silky cloth obscuring your vision. "Alright, you ready?"

"As I'll ever be!" You cheered, bracing yourself for what you're about to see.

You were quick to realise that no amount of mental preparation was ever going to be enough for the sight before you. Silently, you stare in awe and your mouth drops open as you heave a sigh.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Xanthus mused at your reaction than the actual scene before him.

From where you stood, all you could see was water, the shimmery blue and green colour push and pull creating a glistening illusion. That combined with the yellows and oranges of the sunset was magical, like a bottled potion in a witch’s lair. It was straight out of a fantasy film, perhaps the most beautiful coast you've ever seen. You don't bother answering Xanthus' question, instead breaking free from his grasp, laughter swirling into the wind as you ran to the railed edge of the cliff. Xanthus was shocked at your sudden burst of energy, panicking to catch up to you.

"Hold on! Be careful!" He shouted.

Naturally, Xanthus got their first, perks of being a vampire with enhanced swiftness. You pay him no mind, leaning over the metal bars as you marvelled at the shoreline below. Xanthus' arm securely hugged your body, an extra layer of protection warding off any possibility of a misstep.

"I admire your enthusiasm, but I don't intent to lose you just yet love." He chuckled playfully.

"Sorry, couldn't help it. Are you seeing this?" You turned to him, wild eyes finding his.

He continued to laugh at your expression, "So many times, I'm completely unmoved by it now."

"Really?" You turned back to the ocean. The way the water moved and splashed against the rocky shores below was mesmerising. "I don't think I could ever get used to this."

Theres a land mass that caught your attention, one completely detached from the land near it, it was only a fragment compared to the mighty cliff that you stood atop. It blended perfectly into the scenery of the sunset and foamy waves that break at its base.

"I believe it’s called a 'stack'." Xanthus chimed, pulling your attention to him.

"Hmm?"

"The land formation you've been staring at. That one right over there." He pointed at the piece of land that resembled a tall, layered cake. "It was once a part of this very land we stand on, but years of erosion separated it from the headland."

"Woah, water sure is powerful, isn't it?"

"I like the idea of consistency being powerful more. But you're right too." Xanthus didn't spend much time looking around, his eyes were glued to you, admiring the way your cheeks rise as you smile and your eyes singe at the corners.

"You haven't even seen the best part yet."

"I don't know what could possibly be better tha-" Your sentence is cut short when Xanthus turns your body around to face the scenery you've been backing. "Holy. Shit."

Did I mention that this place looks like an excerpt from fantasy world? Because now there's a castle. You wondered to yourself how on earth you missed that? Sure, the water was lovely, but this- this is a whole new thing. It wasn't extravagant or overly grand, nor was it gigantic and clumped together. If anything, it looked like a luxurious mansion, with the architecture of a castle.

“How-” You try to speak, but your words fail you.

“I bought this place a long time ago. It was a good way to leave everything behind and be at peace for some time.” Xanthus took your hand, making his way towards the grand doors in a distance. “Naturally, it became a place I visited when I was troubled.”

Your chest warmed at his confession, and you cling closer to his body. “It’s really beautiful. I can feel the calming aura that comes with it.”

“I haven’t been here since I met you.” He looked over at you, “I didn’t have a reason to be here. Your presence is somehow enough to make me feel at ease.”

“Well, I’m glad I have that effect on you!” You flashed him a toothy grin.

Xanthus pushed the giant doors open effortlessly, like it weighed no more than a feather.

“Come on, it’s just us here. I have something special planned for you.” He ushered you inside.

“Another surprise? You’re really spoiling me today.” You took his hand again, following him down the hall.

“I hope you don’t mind. I did also arrange a change of clothes for you, to fit the setting.”

“Wait really? Like fancy fit-for-royalty garments? Cuz that’s the vibe I’m getting from the place.”

“You’ll just have to find out for yourself.” He smirked and led you up a flight of stairs. Th interior of this place was even more remarkable. The handrails of the staircase were pure gold, shining under the light from the massive diamond chandelier that hung from the painted ceiling. If there was a boundary between reality and imagination, this was certainly what it looked and felt like. Your eyes drink in as much detail as you could, but every wall was a painted canvas. It was easy to get distracted by something else when trying to focus on an initial detail.

Your steps halt at door, “This is where we’ll stay when we’re here.”

He pushed the door open for you like the gentleman he is, and you take a step inside. It was just what you imagined it would look like, opulent but inviting and cosy. You spin in a circle, admiring the entire room. There was a canopy bed in the middle of the room, its pristine white sheets looked incredibly soft and comfortable, yet your gaze was drawn to a contrasting object laying in a corner.

As you move closer to inspect the coloured material with gold embellishments, Xanthus calls behind you, “I’ll be back to get you in 15 minutes. Get dressed and wait for me.”

You turned to ask where he was going, but he’d already disappeared. With a sigh, you turn your attention back to the bed. The ‘object’ from earlier was just a suit of clothes, a heavy outfit that was certainly fit for royalty. It spurs on your curiosity for the night of what Xanthus had planned. Excitedly, you struggled but somehow managed to get the fabric onto your body by yourself. It felt like a workout, but it was worth every drop of sweat and strain. All ready and waiting for you vampire soulmate to return, you seize the opportunity to admire how you looked. Xanthus sure knew how to make dreams come true.

It didn’t take long for him to return, soft knocking on the door.

“Coming!” You yelled, rushing to open the door. “Sorry, I was sittin- Woah!”

He looked like an angel at first glance, adorned in a fully white suit with golden accents and crimson details. But beneath the veneer of this heavenly attire, lies a complex person with a sinister nature, perhaps he’s more akin to a fallen angel. That could never sway that heart of yours, what he was simply didn’t matter.

“You look… stunning.” Your eyes followed his silhouette, up and down.

“I was about to say the same about you. Looks like I made the right choice with this one. Do you feel like royalty?" He grins.

"I feel it, I think I can get used to this." You smile back at him.

Shall we?” He offers his arm to you.

With eager anticipation, you intertwined your arm with his, following his lead down the halls until you reached yet another door. The soft strains of instrumental music seeped through the cracks, enticing you further. Once more, he graciously pushed the door open, pulling you into a spacious room adorned as if poised for a grand event, yet the sole attendees are you and him.

“When did you have the time to do all this?” You asked him, enamoured by the room before you.

“I had some help of course. Do you like it?”

“Like? I love it.” You smiled and kissed him.

Now that you’re inside, the music had filled the room and atmosphere around you. Xanthus extends his hand to you.

“Will you dance with me?”

With a tender smile, you take his hand, stepping into his embrace.

Under the soft glow of the overhead lightings and candles around the room, he swayed your body in perfect synchrony with his. The way he gently moved your body was smooth and effortless, perfectly in harmony with the smooth instrumentals. Each step was filled with love and passion as you gazed into each other’s eyes. There was silent understanding between you, something that felt sorrowful and heart-wrenching, but you both ignored it- for now.

With every turn and every dip, the world outside fades away little by little, but the feeling of the end of the dance grows closer. In this quiet sanctuary, all you had was him, but did he have you?

The music slows, drawing closer to the end and his grip on your body tightens. Your heart rate increased, in sync with his.

Fear, that’s what it is. He’s reluctant to let you go.

Immediately you halt your movements, Xanthus does too, but he doesn’t react. He was expecting it.

“Lawrence, you don’t belong here. Wake up.” You lift a hand to his cheek.

“My love, I miss you. Do you miss me?” He hums against your touch, pressing his nose into your palm with his eyes closed.

“Of course I miss you, but I don’t exist in your world anymore.”

“I know” He murmurs, “Every time I miss you, I come here, and you always show up.”

“Lawrence, my love.” You coo, tears streaming down your cheek. “I’m not real. I’m just a figment of your imagination. A past that’s already behind you. You need to let me go.”

“I know.” He whispers, a broken sound that claws at the heart of anyone who hears it. “I know that, yet I keep returning. It’s funny, isn’t it? How cruel human life is? Mortality laughed at my face when it took you away from me and there was nothing I could’ve done.”

“Lawrence please,” you sob, “You can’t keep hurting yourself like this.”

“I’ll open my eyes if you tell me you still love me.” He smiles against your hand.

“Of course I still love you. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved and the only one I’ll continue to love.”

“Thank you” He whispers, as his eyelashes flutter open.

Before him stood of a void of what he once saw, there was no one in his arms and no gentle hand caressing his face. There was no fancy ball room. There was no ambient lighting save for the moonlight that shone through the holes in the roof. The chandelier that once held a grand presence lies crushed in the middle of the room, and the walls are covered in moss and vines. There was no music, only the crashing waves and a tune from a small music box that’s abruptly closed behind him.

His hands, that were once grasping the air infront of him, drop to his sides.

“That’s enough Xanthus, let’s go home.” The incubus calls.

Dontis strides over to him, a gentle hand on his shoulder as he guides him out the remnants of what was once a castle. He stood with him as he watched the tides crash against the rock below them. Lawrence stares off into the distance, to the spot where there was once a stack. Now, all that’s left is a stump of the landform, long gone and eroded.

“Dontis?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you call me Lawrence from now on?”

“Why?”

“No reason. I just want you to.”

"Fine then, Lawrence."

His safe place is run over, and his safe person no longer exists, but Lawrence still clings to the remnants of the past.

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old, and I need something to rely on So, tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin.

#Eeeeeeeeeee #zsakuva #sakuverse #xanthus claiborne #zsakuva xanthus #xanthus x reader

[royaltozaki]

you can kiss a hundred boys in bars

synopsis: good luck, babe! - inspired fic (essentially sana left 6 years ago and you still can't stop thinking about her even though you're married to another man)

warnings: cheating, internalised homophobia, not chronological, implied sex, cursing

w/c: 6.4k

a/n: hi 😀 this one may not hit as many of the audiences but it was interesting to write. i zon't think i like it toooo much for how much time i spent on it (edit: the moots have made my day i do like this one a lot actually) but just one of those things i needed to get out before i was able to move on to the next thing :P weeeEEEEHHEEEE i love angst!!!!!!!

ok this one's going to be a bit different guys pls READ THIS or you'll be like what the fuck. purple text is the present. ty enjoy, that was it LOL.

▂▂⌇

you wake up with a migraine. it came not long after you married frank and it’s stayed ever since. you sit up on the bed, careful not to make too much movement or sound to wake your husband next to you. although that was pretty unlikely anyway considering how he slept.

you sigh lightly, holding your head in your hands trying to mitigate the damage.

your head starts drifting off, as it did on most nights these days. it seemed the only thing that ever worked to stop the pounding in your head was thinking about her.

▂▂⌇

funnily enough, sana was actually the reason you and frank had met.

it had happened when the both of you were at a bar after class celebrating the end of exams. sana being sana had made a whole group of friends 10 minutes upon entering the establishment. you were sitting back watching her challenge someone to down the most shots in one minute. you would have stopped her on another day but after the hell week she's been through with her finals, you figured she deserved it. and you'd be there to take her home afterwards anyway.

she's whooping and jumping around, turning back to you with a grin when she wins. the poor loser skulking away back to his friends.

frank goes up to her then. introducing himself with that kind voice of his, just making sure she had someone to go home with and look after her.

and sana adored the attention. she's flirting with that charm of hers that no one could resist. but strangely enough, frank resisted. he was a gentleman, not wanting to pursue anything while sana was intoxicated, instead, he asked who could look after her, and sana points to you.

▂▂⌇

you're not getting back to sleep. instead you silently step out of bed, grabbing your phone and the hidden pack of cigarettes you kept in the second drawer of your bedside cupboard.

you step outside onto the balcony, breathing in the cool night air, shivering a little as you wrap the blanket you left on the balcony chair around you.

you click the lighter on, the small flame illuminating the darkness of the night, the only other light source aside from the moon. you're thinking if sana's somewhere she can see the moon right now while you put the lighter to the end of your cigarette. is it night for her? was she asleep? did she ever think about you?

you bring the stick to your mouth, inhaling, feeling the roughness of the nicotine hit your lungs, and exhaling softly, watching the wisps of smoke dissolve into the night sky.

sana hated when you smoked. frank didn't like it too much either, but he was never able to stop you.

▂▂⌇

"do you have to do that here?" sana's frowning when you release a puff of smoke into the air.

"sorry. stressed." you mumble in response, cig still stuck between your lips.

"you know i can help with that. just not when you taste like an ashtray." sana's still staring at the cancer stick you're sucking on with contempt, she never hated anything but if you had to place your money on something it'd be your bad habit.

you're smiling sheepishly, taking the cigarette out of your mouth and smooshing the end until it's not burning anymore.

the frown on her face is gone immediately, she's charmed you listen to her so easily. and she sticks to her word, stepping closer and leaning in.

your lips meet lazily, she's got a hand on your cheek, the other at your waist. you're wrapping your arms around her hips, holding her against you as your lips slot against each other.

sana was an attractive woman. there was no doubt about that. the two of you had met during high school. she had caught you sneaking off for a smoke during P.E. and had somehow convinced you to go and get your nails done with her instead. ever since then you two had been inseperable.

it was after you broke up with your first boyfriend in college that you started sleeping together. you remember he had decided to call it off because he was going all mormon and was ashamed of having had sex already, calling you a 'sex-addicted whore who was sent by the devil to tempt him into the flames of hell'. sana despised that he made you feel unwanted, and even more that he blamed you for the break up. she needed you to know just how valued you were, just how wanted you were, and in her drunk dazed mind that meant worshipping you until you came crying under her. and in your drunk dazed, heartbroken, self-pitying mind, you let her.

when it happened again, and again, and again, and then not under any alcoholic influence, the both of you decided to continue seeking each other out for sexual relief whenever you were stressed, or in any sort of mood that called for sex. you stopped every time one of you started a new relationship, but you always found your way back into each other's arms eventually.

▂▂⌇

you curse lightly when you reach the end of your cigarette.

picking out another one, you’re repeating your actions, lighting it up, bringing it between your lips, inhaling, feeling it fill your lungs, and then pushing it back out.

there hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where you hadn’t thought about sana. frank didn’t get it at first. he asked you why you couldn’t just call her, you two were the best of friends, surely it wouldn’t be that difficult to reconnect?

he didn’t know you slept with sana on the night of you and frank’s wedding. doesn’t know the countless times you’ve slept with her before that. doesn’t know sana woke up earlier than you the next day, disappearing into the early morning, no note, no text, nothing. you were too ashamed to try and contact her for weeks after that, it wasn’t until you came back from your honeymoon that you realised you were knocking on an empty door when you tried to find her at her apartment. it was cleaned out, no furniture, no remnants of her, nothing to prove she even existed. you had called her over and over, tears of desperation spilling over, holding back choked sobs that only grew stronger with each voicemail message.

it wasn't until sana's old landlord holding a 'for lease' sign in his hand comes and kicks you out that you finally realise you'd lost her.

after that, your relationship with frank started to deteriorate. what did you expect though? was it sana's fault? if sana hadn't left would you have lived happily ever after, the three of you together?

it took a long time to realise the answer to that was no. you spent years blaming sana for leaving, and when you finally came to the terms that you were the one who drove her away, it was too much to bear.

▂▂⌇

"y/n!"

you smile at the sound of sana calling you in the corridor, turning to meet her hug as she crashes into you.

she starts talking your ear off and you nod along enthusiastically, but suddenly she stops, looks down to your hand, intertwined with someone else's.

"oh. who's this y/n?"

you look over at your newest boyfriend in surprise, almost forgetting he was holding your hand and standing next to you. you tended to forget a lot of things when sana was around.

"oh this is danny. we met at that bar i told you about last week remember?"

"hmm..." she's looking up at him in scrutiny, eyes squinted and eyebrows furrowed. you can feel danny's palms start to sweat under her gaze.

"one week huh? not bad, let's see how long you last, if you go longer than a month then i'll introduce myself to you." sana says then.

"sana!" you're hitting her lightly, flabbergasted at her insinuation.

"what? your last one was like 3 days. you just keep breaking these guys' hearts y/n." she places a hand over her heart dramatically.

danny's tightening his grip around your hand, speaking up, "excuse me, i don’t appreciate you wishing doom on our relationship even before its started. and i wouldn’t want to be introduced to a slut who’s never had a real relationship before anyway.”

sana’s speechless for a second but her face morphs into a scowl quickly after, “okay danny,” spitting out his name, “first rule of being a decent boyfriend? don’t talk shit about your girlfriend’s best friends. let’s see you last another hour after that comment.” she turns to you, raising an eyebrow, “you gonna let him off with that y/n?”

you’re stuck, and danny’s looking at you expectantly.

“sana… that comment was a little uncalled for y’know… you did kinda start this…”

danny’s smirking, looking smugly back towards sana.

“what?! are you serious right now y/n? y’know what? i don’t care. your life and whatever. see you later.” she’s stomping off, your heart sinking as you watch her.

“c’mon babe, forget her. let’s go get sushi.” danny doesn’t wait for a response before he’s pulling you in the other direction.

▂▂⌇

when you wake up again the next day, frank’s gone.

you stumble to your feet, clumsily making your way to the bathroom.

it’s almost late afternoon already. you’re lucky you didn’t have work today.

sana always used to scold you if you woke up past noon. she said you'd waste the whole day sleeping when you could have been spending it with her.

these days the second option wasn't exactly viable.

you cringe a little when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. unkempt hair, dark circles under your eyes, visible signs of ageing. you'd bet sana still looked as radiant as she was all those years ago.

your phone starts buzzing when you turn on your electric toothbrush. it couldn't be anyone else other than frank. you didn't really talk to anyone else anyway. after sana left, you became a social recluse, and a lot of your friends were technically sana's friends so without that mutual connection anymore, you drifted from them very quickly.

“hello?”

“hey y/n, is my white button-up back from the dry cleaners yet? i need it tonight for this work event.”

“… no you didn’t tell me to pick anything up.”

“what? i left a note for you on the fridge did you not see it?”

“i just woke up frank.”

“it’s 2pm.”

“yeah.”

you can hear him sigh over the phone, “alright it’s fine i’ll pick it up after work.” he hangs up abruptly after he says that.

no goodbye, no i love you, he doesn’t call you by any pet names anymore either, just y/n. well it’s not like you did any of those things for him so you suppose it’s fair. he did do a lot of those things when you were dating and early in your marriage but eventually, when you stopped responding and got more and more tired of being with him, he stopped trying as well. you can’t even remember the last time you were intimate together.

frank had suggested the both of you try out marriage counselling but you were strongly against the idea. you didn’t feel particularly excited about disclosing everything that went on with sana with frank let alone with a complete stranger. you remember that week you fought about it and you ran away and didn’t come back until a month later. frank only tried to call you once during that time.

▂▂⌇

you were standing in front of an apartment door in japan.

you weren’t really thinking when you stood at the front desk of the airport, demanding a ticket for the next flight to osaka with only a small backpack and some essentials you were able to grab after your fight with frank.

it wasn’t until you were physically in the plane that you realised you didn’t actually know anyone but sana there. and you had made that unconscious decision because being with frank was simply too… nothing, and being with sana was… everything. it had been over 6 years since you had seen her last, when she left you that quiet night in may.

though it seems fate was on your side this time. sana’s cousin just happened to be working at the airport the night you arrived, when she recognised you, she was waving excitedly, ushering you over.

“y/n right? oh my goodness i haven’t seen you in so long! not since that time sana brought you here 7 years ago right?” her accent is a little thick but you’re grateful she can speak korean regardless, you could only understand very basic japanese picked up from sana.

you’re nervously rubbing the back of your neck, “ahaha yeah… do you actually happen to have sana’s address?”

she frowns a little, “she didn’t give it to you when she found out you were coming?”

it seems like sana hasn’t told many people about your relationship with her either.

“u-um ahaha no she must have forgotten. you know how she gets… too excited she forgets the important little details.”

the cousin laughs a little in response, agreeing and quickly typing in sana’s address on your phone. internally you’re thanking all the gods and deities you know of for this stroke of luck or you’d really be stranded in osaka with no knowledge of the language and nowhere to stay.

“i have to get back to work but say hi to sana for me! we haven’t seen her much since she came back a few years ago, she’s been really busy with work i think.”

you nod, heart pounding at the tidbits of information you’re getting about sana. anything to fill in the 6 year gap you’ve been apart.

you wave goodbye, thanking her again and then you’re hailing down a taxi and showing the driver the destination on your phone.

so now you’re standing in front of her apartment door, hands sweaty and nervous, just praying she wouldn’t kick you out or worse.

you’ve been standing here stupidly, deliberating when, how, if you should even knock. when there’s a slight commotion to your left, the sound of a bag of groceries dropping and a light gasp.

“y/n?”

it’s very cinematic when you turn, sana coming into view for the first time in so long is like finding water in a desert. you’re drinking her in hungrily, her darker hair, smile lines, perfect nose, she looks just as beautiful as you remember.

“sana…” you’re voice is hoarse with emotion.

she’s taking slow steps towards you after picking up her groceries. one… two…

“what are you doing here?”

“i-i- u-um i-“

“how did you get my address?”

“u-um i saw y-your cousin at the airport and she recognised me and i- i may have asked her for your address... i'm sorry! i would have called or like let you know but... y'know... i-i couldn't really do that..."

she considers you for a little bit, looking you up and down, her face stoic.

"...did you come here for something then?"

"i- um- well not really it was k-kinda an impulse decision. u-um frank and i fought and i just- i don't know i went to the airport and i found myself here i guess..."

you notice how her hand tightens at the mention of frank's name, the slight sound of the crinkling of her grocery bag.

"and what did you want me to do about that?" she's pushing past you now, taking out her keys and starting to unlock her door. you begin to panic, scrambling for words.

"i- sana please! i- i'm sorry! i'm sorry okay?"

the jingling of her keys stops, but she doesn't look back at you.

"what are you sorry for? i'm the one who left remember?" her voice is bitter and a little shaky, you realise she's not facing you because she's trying not to cry. you ache to hold her.

"i… i’m the reason you left though. right? it took me a long time to realise but i’m sorry i wasn’t able to be true to myself and i’m sorry you were a casualty to that. i missed you sana…." your voice is quiet, you feel your own tears welling up in your eyes.

“… what weren’t you true to yourself about?”

you take a big inhale, breath shaky when you let it back out. “that i love you.” your voice is tiny, you just confessed your love for the woman you’ve spent most of your life with, the woman that’s occupied your mind every second of every minute since she’s entered your life. the woman you were too scared to admit you loved, who waited for you to do exactly that only for you to enter a loveless marriage with someone else. you can only imagine the pain you’ve put her through. it would be nothing compared to the last 6 years without her. and the last 6 years without sana were undoubtedly the worst of your life.

sana’s sniffling now, unable to hold back her cries.

you inch forward and tentatively place a hand on her shoulder. when she doesn’t move it, you shift closer again to wrap your arms around her loosely.

suddenly sana’s turning and burrowing her face in your neck, you feel her wet tears stain your skin, but also your own start to run down your face. you're surrounded with sana sana sana, her smell, her sounds, the feel of her against you when you tighten your arms around her. you missed this so fucking much. you missed her. and for the first time in 6 years, you finally felt like you were home again.

▂▂⌇

after you've finished your morning routine, you lazily trudge into the kitchen, discarding the small note frank had told you about, and pouring yourself a bowl of cereal.

you sigh into the empty house. frank wanted kids of course, that's why you bought such a large house in the first place. he had dreamt of the whole white-picket fence family and you were excited to share that with him and sana. she had helped you design the place, decorate it when you first moved in, she was meant to move across the street and you were going to grow old together and watch as your kids played around and became the best of friends, just like the two of you were.

now though? you hated this house. it just felt so much more empty. you and frank had tried for kids, although that only really drove you further apart. sex just became more of a chore than something you enjoyed, and when people know you're trying to get pregnant? suddenly everyone has their 2 cents on what you should eat, what types of exercise you should do, the latest superfood that was meant to make you more fertile. everyone seemed to have more control over your own relationship, over your own body than you did.

eventually, the small amounts of love you and frank had for each other, fizzled out. and you decided you didn't want to raise a child in a loveless marriage, that wouldn't be fair to them. frank, even with his endless optimism and kind soul, agreed.

▂▂⌇

that night in japan, for the first time in six years since you saw sana, you were able to kiss her again, to feel her bare skin against yours, to taste her as she writhed and cried out your name above you.

you woke up before her the next day, sun sluggishly making its way past the horizon. you watched as her breaths came in and out, soft, her expression at peace, not clouded with anger or sadness at you. you traced the lines of her face, recollecting every single hair, every mole, every perfection and imperfection on her, so she'd always be with you in your memory.

she stirred after a while, blinking softly and you wait for her to come to, fingers tracing soft lines over her side.

you feel her freeze under you, breathing picking up, just barely noticeable but you were sharing the same airspace. her eyes meet yours for the first time that morning and you're committing the brown irises to memory now as well.

"you didn't leave." her voice is laced with morning fatigue.

you only hum in response, continuing to trace random shapes into her skin.

"why?"

you take a moment to think about your answer. years ago, you would've been terrified with the idea that someone would've found out about the two of you. that someone would know your dirty little secret. and that secret was that you were in love with your best friend. it was different for sana. sana was flamboyant, and proud, and happy. it wouldn't matter who sana liked because that didn't take away from her personality. she was still valuable as a person. you weren't like that though. you were always just sana's best friend or danny's girlfriend or frank's girlfriend or whoever else you dated at the time. the moment you deviated from that, a new label would be stuck on you, and people would pity sana, talk about how she could do so much better, how you were a witch who lured sana in. so you were selfish. you took from sana, and you never gave back. because sana was perfect in your mind, and she didn't need anything else.

"i'm sorry. there's a lot to be sorry for and a lot i need to make up to you. but at the core of it all, i love you sana. these six years without you have been hell. and i'm sorry it took that long for me to realise this, but i love you, not frank, not anyone else, just you."

you feel your eyes begin to tear up, heavy with emotions, sana's mirroring you, her bottom lip slightly quivering.

"what happened with frank?" her voice is a little shaky.

"we fought. i didn't want to deal with him anymore, my feet took me to the airport, and i ended up here."

sana sighs then, turning away from you and lying on her back. "so you're still together?"

"well... i- no but-"

"how is this time any different then y/n?"

"i- i- it's over, me and him. seeing you again has affirmed that for me. there hasn't been love between frank and i for a long time. i never loved him the way i love you. i'm ending things as soon as i get back. i promise sana. please- please believe me." you're scrambling a little, you couldn't afford to lose sana again. not after you had just gotten her back.

you can see tears running down the side of her face. you hate yourself for making her cry. that seems to be all you ever made her do.

"okay."

"okay?"

she turns to you again, wiping at her eyes, "okay. i really shouldn't but i love you too much and i've missed you too much to say no."

"really?" your perking up, disbelief clear.

"you keep asking me that and i'll change my mind." she teases, smiling for the first time.

you're overjoyed. rolling onto her and sweeping her up in a kiss, hoping your actions convey your feelings for her better than your words do. she's laughing into you and god have you missed that sound. you attack her sides immediately, almost desperate to hear it again, to make her feel something other than the sadness you've caused her. you make a promise to yourself in that moment, that you'd never, never make sana cry again.

it took you only a month to break that promise.

▂▂⌇

"hi, frank's wife right?"

you resist the very strong urge to roll your eyes, instead nodding politely and listening as the woman who approached you launches into a conversation about her husband and how he and frank got along at work and really you couldn't care less.

you were at the work event frank had mentioned in the morning. he did end up picking up his own dry cleaning and you saw him briefly at the event when you first showed up, only saying a quick hello and kissing your cheek before he was off again mingling and entertaining guests.

you had intended on just sticking to the bar and making use of the free-flow alcohol but now this woman was talking to you about her kids, and whatever else and you really just want to throw your drink in her face and yell at her about how to read a room.

you spot frank in the corner of your eye, surrounded by a group of women. you knew he had slept with other people ever since you stopped accepting his advances and affection. you're honestly surprised he hasn't asked for a divorce yet.

but frank was kinder than you. you were still his friend before you were his wife. he still cared about you and didn't want you to be left alone. you couldn't seem to convince him you were fine alone. you learnt to be fine when sana left. although lately, even he seemed to see you less as a friend and more and more, just as his wife.

▂▂⌇

"i still can't believe that time you thought danny was a good choice for you. and you defended him too!" sana was laughing, slapping your arm playfully.

you whine in response, "i told you i was sorry for that alright!!"

she's still laughing when frank comes back to the two of you, looking at you inquisitively and gesturing vaguely towards sana. you shrug, helping him set the food he had ordered for the three of you on the table.

"what's funny sana?" he asks, sliding into the booth with you and picking up a burger.

sana's waving a chip around now, pointing at you, "just talking about y/n's shitty taste in men."

frank fakes shock, looking at you with an exaggerated look of hurt, "me?"

you laugh, hitting him lightly, "not you dummy."

"yeah you're one of the good ones franky. probably the only good one out there."

"aww thanks sana."

sana grins, digging into her food.

you smile at the two of them. your two favourite people in the world. when you first met frank, you were skeptical of him. you were sure he was only trying to be friends with you to get with sana. so imagine your surprise when he had actually been plotting with sana behind your back to ask you out. you had said yes of course, he was a sweet guy, attractive too, and most importantly, sana liked him.

you ended up hitting it off, and the three of you were almost inseparable after that.

it wasn't until about 7 months into your relationship that sana started distancing herself. she would say she was busy, turn down more offers to go out, start hanging around a new group of people.

you heard from frank later that they had some sort of disagreement, which was why sana had started avoiding you. you were hurt by this though, because sana was still your friend. she was yours before you were frank's, and even when you were frank's you were still hers. didn't she know that? she had to.

you intended for her to know that when you cornered her, a late afternoon on a friday when the three of you used to go out for ice-cream as a reward for the week's end, but she had been staying behind to study or always had something else on instead.

"why are you avoiding me?"

sana's eyes are everywhere, her movements skittish as she tries to look for an escape before giving up and huffing. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"yes you do."

"no i don't."

"stop this sana. frank told me the two of you fought. if you don't want to be around him fine. that's your choice. but that doesn't mean you get to avoid me too."

she looks at you then, eyes fiery, "is that what he told you?"

you nod, "i don't understand sana. i don't care that you fought. i can seperate us and my relationship with frank. you're still my best friend."

"we fought because he told me he felt like i was stealing you from him."

"what?"

"yeah. he said he never got to spend any time with you. i was always there. he felt like he was the one who was third-wheeling our relationship."

the words third-wheel and our relationship swim around in your mind, "w-what? that's impossible!"

"is it really though y/n?" sana's voice is soft now.

"what do you mean?"

"i mean, is it really impossible for you to see us that way? frank obviously did, and he felt threatened by that."

"w-what- sana what are you talking about?"

she sighs a little in frustration, and then suddenly she's yanking you forward by the collar and planting her lips against yours. you react automatically, kissing her back, hands immediately going to her waist as you revel in the feeling of her soft lips against yours. it was always so different kissing sana compared to all the other guys you've been with. you chalked it up to the fact that sana took care of her skin, her lips, the way she smelled, all of that made kissing her that much sweeter.

but then you remember frank and you're pulling away, breaths heavier than they were mere seconds ago. "what the fuck sana?!" you're whipping your head around, looking to see if anyone had seen the two of you. it seemed to be clear.

sana's chuckling lowly, wiping at her lips, face downcast.

"what were you thinking?! i'm with frank! you set me up with frank!"

her eyes meet yours again, and you're taken back by the glassy look on her face. she's whispering, "i know. i know and i hate myself for it. i thought- i thought if- i thought i could get over this if i saw you happy with someone else. and then you were! and i just felt worse y/n. and then frank could tell and that was the last straw i guess. i needed to be away, away from you so i could get make these stupid feelings go away. i'm sorry y/n i'm so so sorry."

you're dumbfounded, staring at her blankly when she starts sobbing, hands coming to wipe at tears falling faster than she could catch them.

you don't understand what this means, what you felt, all you knew in that moment was sana was crying. the person you cared about most in the world was crying and you were the reason for it. so you do the one thing to make her stop. you tilt her chin up, heart breaking at the sniffles and the watery eyes, and you press your lips against hers again.

you end up where you've ended up so many times. legs entangled, sweaty bodies on sheets, heavy breathing, and minds lost.

▂▂⌇

you couldn't stand being inside anymore. it was suffocating.

you breathe out smoke as you exhale, the cigarette end still burning.

you watch as someone makes their way outside, shuffling around a little in their pockets and cursing when they realise they don't have a lighter.

the person looks towards you and you hold out yours. you help them light the end of their cigarette and nod when they mutter their thanks, inhaling the smoke into their lungs and standing awkwardly to the side.

it's a few minutes here in the cold, and you're almost finished your cigarette, about to throw it away when the stranger speaks up.

"do i know you from somewhere?"

you pause, looking back, you don't think you recognise this person. "you must have me confused for someone else, i'm sorry."

"wait... no you're sana's best friend right!?"

you drop the cigarette in your hand in shock. it had been a long time since someone had said that name out loud. she only ever lived in your head, it was hard to believe she was someone to other people too.

"right yes of course i remember now! i'm momo i was sana's roommate in college. although you probably don't remember i think we only really met like once. sana was always with you around campus and posted you a lot though so i remember you."

you vaguely recall the woman as she chatters away excitedly.

"right... momo... it's nice to meet you. i'm y/n."

momo grins, "have you spoken to sana lately? i don't think i saw you at the wedding, although i may have just been drunk." she chuckles a little at herself, not realising the way your face drops.

"wedding?"

momo looks at you a little in confusion, "yeah. last month? sana got married in sapporo."

your head is spinning with the new information. sana was married?

“woah you feeling okay?” momo’s reaching out for your shoulder, steadying you. you didn’t even realise you had lost your balance.

“i-i- yeah sorry.”

“you sure? are you here with anyone? anyone i can call?”

“no. it’s okay, thank you though.”

“yeah no problem.”

she’s shuffling back again, sucking on her cigarette.

“sana and i haven’t spoken in years. i was just a little surprised is all.” you speak up when you feel a little steadier on your feet.

“oh shit! i’m so sorry y/n i had no idea!”

“it’s okay, it seems no one really does.” you laugh a little bitterly.

momo doesn’t know how to respond to this, flicking her eyes between you and the door.

“it’s fine though. i’m happy for her.” the words taste vile on your tongue. is this what sana felt when she watched you walk down the aisle on your wedding day?

momo softens a little, “she is happy.” she offers you a kind smile, tapping out her cigarette and mumbling a quick thanks before heading back inside.

once you're sure she's gone you let yourself break down. sobs wrack your body as you hold your hands over your mouth trying to quiet them. you can barely see through the tears streaming out of your eyes. this was it. you'd finally lost her. you couldn't cling to the delusion that somewhere out there, some of her still belonged to you, some of her happiness, her memories, her love. you'd lost all of that now.

▂▂⌇

"what was that y/n?"

"what?"

"don't fuck with me right now. that was frank wasn't it? on the phone just then?"

you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, "what do you want me to say sana?"

"that you're keeping your promise. that you're going to return to him, break up with him, and then you're going to come back here to me. and then we can finally start our lives together."

"it's not that easy sana."

she explodes, "what do you mean?! it is that easy y/n! you told me when you came here that you and frank were over. have been for years. and now you can't tell me that same thing?"

"i don't- no sana-"

"what? what y/n? what’s your excuse now? do you have to make sure your job is secure? after you've spent a whole fucking month here you expect me to think you still care about that? do you have a child with him? is that it? is he sick? what other possible excuse is there for 'it's not that easy sana'?!"

"you don't get it! you can't say that to me sana!"

"what?! what don't i get?! tell me y/n, let's sort this shit out right fucking now. tell me why you can't be with me."

"it's not- that's just the way i am sana! i can't-"

"you told me you loved me. was that a lie then?" her eyes are brimming with tears, anger evident and your heart breaks again. you promised, you promised her and you promised yourself that this wouldn't happen again.

you're quick to step in again, trying to stop her from crying the one way you know how, brushing her cheeks with your thumbs and kissing her.

she doesn't let you get away with it this time though. she rips away from you, placing a hand on your chest and pushing you back lightly, keeping you literally at arm's length.

"don't do that." she's chuckling, her laughs mixed in with quiet sobs, "don't think you can just kiss away your problems. that's not how real life works y/n."

"please sana, please just-"

"what? you want me to be okay being your secret again? you want to be able to go around in public with frank only to come home to me? you can't have both y/n! i'm not going to do that again for you!"

you’re both crying now, standing across from each other in sana’s apartment, a place that’s felt more like home to you in a month than your place with frank has felt for you in six years.

your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you speak up, “i can’t- i can’t feel like this sana.”

sana’s wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. then she’s turning on her heel and heading into the bedroom.

you follow her, you’d follow her anywhere, but your heart sinks when you realise she’s going around the room picking up your belongings and shoving them into your bag.

“w-wait s-sana, what- what are you doing? stop please-“

you’re almost begging, scrambling after her trying to pull her back but she’s stubborn, she’s able to fill the bag within a minute and then she’s pushing it into you, and out the door.

“please! sana please i can’t lose you again don’t do this please- you’re my best friend sana.”

she’s managed to successfully push you out the front door now, still crying. “but you’re not mine y/n. you were never my best friend. you were always the love of my life. and you can’t be that for me anymore. so leave. please. don’t try and find me again.”

“n-no sana please d-don’t-“

“you’d have to stop the world just to stop what you feel for me y/n. but you don’t realise that. and i’m sick of loving someone who can’t give me all of that love back.”

and then she’s slamming her door shut in your face, the both of you sobbing on opposite sides of the door, hearts shattered a second time, and later, when it happens a third time, it’s only the sound of yours breaking.

#sana #minatozaki sana #twice sana #sana x reader #twice sana x reader #sana x fem!reader #sana x f!reader #twice x reader #twice x fem!reader #twice x f!reader #twice imagines #sana imagines #royaltozaki

[zukosdualdao]

give your all to me / i'll give my all to you

zutara month, day 10: secret, @zutaramonth

summary: the night before they're set to leave to face ozai, katara can't sleep. neither can zuko. "tell me a secret," she asks of him.

warnings: references to ozai's abuse of zuko, kya's murder and katara's discovery, and ursa's disappearance.

other notes: title is a lyric from all of me by john legend. yes this is the second fic i've written about zutara the night before they're supposed to leave for the final battle. no i will not change <3

Though there are several rooms in the Ember Island house, on the first day everyone was here, they’d dragged all the blankets and pillows from them and instead set up in the open room at the front of the house, and that’s how they usually all fall asleep, near to each other—a holdover from Katara and Sokka’s days growing up in the Southern Water Tribe.

Aang is somewhere else, though. She doesn’t know what he’s doing, what he’s thinking.

She doesn’t know what will happen tomorrow.

Toph is snoring lightly, on her back and feet planted firmly on the ground, but Katara’s gotten used to that. That's not why she can't sleep. Sokka sometimes snores, too, but tonight, she can hear his easy, even breathing. Suki is silent in a way she wouldn’t be if she was awake, and Katara knows she’s pulled Sokka up to her side as she always does in sleep.

Zuko is awake. She doesn’t have to look at him or hear anything to know that. 

“Tell me a secret,” she says quietly to the ceiling and to him.

“Like what?” Zuko asks, matching her volume, not bothering to pretend he doesn’t know who she’s asking. Even in the darkness, they have come to understand each other.

“I don’t know. Anything.”

It takes a long moment, but then Zuko says, “Okay.” Another pause, and then: “I use my bending to get the temperature right for the tea. Sometimes.” He says it almost a little guiltily. 

Katara snorts and then looks over to make sure she hasn’t woken the others. Toph shifts in her sleep but otherwise only snores again. When she turns, resting her chin on her hand, Zuko is already staring back at her in a mirror image. His amber eyes are two bright points in the dark.

“That is not a secret. You’re not as stealthy as you think.”

“Oh.” She can just make out the way his frown shifts into a slight smile.

“Try again,” Katara says again. “Something I don’t know. Something real.”

He takes a moment to think it over. “The day of the eclipse,” he says finally.

“Yes?”

“My father… he said something.”

“Was this before or after he shot you with lightning?” she asks. It’s rude, abrasive, but—she can’t help it. He’d said that almost casually today while training Aang, and for a moment, that uneasy anger she’d felt when he first came to them resurfaced. Only now, it was for him as well. 

How could he ever choose to go back to that? she’d thought. To someone who would do that to him?

“Before,” Zuko says, matter-of-fact, not seeming bothered by her intrusive question. Katara blinks, brought back to the moment. “He said… he implied… I don’t know. He said she might be alive. My mother. I don’t know if it’s true, or if he just…”

Katara’s heart stutters. Knowing something like that was awful. Knowing that no matter how she wished for it, her mother would never return this earth was an awful burden to bear. Remembering what it felt like to run with everything she had, only to find… 

But not knowing? Being made to wonder? There’s a different kind of cruelty to that.

“If we win,” Katara starts, then pauses, shaking her head. “When we win—you should look for her. And I'll be there with you,” she promises.

There’s a long, silent moment in the aftermath of that. 

“You will?” Zuko asks, sounding sort of choked. Katara smiles softly at him. 

“Yeah,” she insists. “You helped me. Remember?”

The journey to find Yon Rha… it hadn’t been easy, or particularly pleasant. But it was what she needed. And Zuko helped her get there. Told her what she needed to know. Guarded her. Respected her choice to walk away without a word one way or the other, no approval and no dissent.

Zuko stares at her for a moment, discerning. “You don’t owe me anything, you know. It—it wasn’t about that.”

“I know. But I still want to help you.”

“...Okay,” he replies in a soft voice. Then:  “Now it’s your turn.”

“Hm?” Katara asks, her eyes starting to feel heavy with sleep.

“To tell me a secret.” 

Katara winks an eye open again. Mulling it over, she leans just a touch closer and reaches over to smooth his wild hair out of his eyes and touch a gentle hand against his face, against his scar. 

Zuko leans into her hand.

“I’m really glad you’re here.”

#zutaramonth2024 #zutara month #zutaramonth #zutara #zuko x katara #give your all to me / i'll give my all to you #my fic #the intimate hand sweeping hair out of someone's eyes gestures my beloved <3 #day 10: secret. #trigger: abuse. #trigger: murder. #ask to tag //

[rosered2018]

The Magnus Archive - American Edition

I know there's been plenty of talk here about what the Magnus Archive would be like if it were set here in America, and I have to admit I've given that a fair amount of thought.

This is what I've come up with.

The Institute itself would be in Chicago. It's a fairly old city, and has its fair share of ghosts and urban legends. It's also far enough off the beaten path that it wouldn't attract the attention of anyone who would have reason to pay attention, but is a big enough city that Jonah Magnus would have access to all the amenities he's gotten used to.

I think Jon would be from New Orleans or somewhere around there. This is as much a nod to Jonny being from the south of England as my liking the irony of Jon being from the magic capital of the U.S. and playing the skeptic card as hard as he possibly could.

Martin I could see being from Minnesota or Michigan or somewhere else that's aggressively midwestern. His backstory would be mostly the same, except that at some point he ended up in therapy. He went low/no contact with his mother, and is dealing with the guilt from having made that decision.

I think Tim would be from somewhere around New York City - Either Manhattan proper or one of the five boroughs. The publishing industry has its headquarters there, and there are a lot of places there that are ripe for urban exploration, so it would make sense that it would be the place where he and Danny would have crossed paths with the Circus.

We didn't get any of Sasha's backstory, but I think she would be a local girl. She's had encounters with things that she couldn't quite explain and she wants answers, and her digging eventually led her to the Magnus Institute.

The OG Elias strikes me as someone from one of those old Boston families who came over on the Mayflower and never let anyone forget it, and Elias was like that right up to the point where he discovered weed. Afterwards, he was too busy being stoned to give a rat's ass.

Jonah Magnus I could see coming from a humble background and clawing his way up the socioeconomic ladder to become the asshole we all know and hate.

The main difference between the original storyline and the American version would be that the distances would be further. One statement might take place in Indianapolis while another one might happen in San Francisco.

When the apocalypse happens, Jon and Martin are in upstate New York or somewhere equally remote, and have to walk back to Chicago, where things play out basically the same way as in the podcast.

#tma #the magnus archives #jon sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #elias bouchard #jonah magnus #tma au #the magnus archives au

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 1: pre-gaming

webcomic day is a yearly celebration of the art form concocted by the screentones podcast team as a way for people to see how the sausage gets made. my webcomic "a ghost story" has been running for over 10 years, and yet i still don't think i can say i am good at making a webcomic. regardless, the comic is getting made because otherwise i become very, very sick in the head. today i would like to share with you the process of making a page of "A Ghost Story" from start to finish. either this demystifies the process or will make you think im so cool and strong for doing this 2x a week. instead of reblogging this one post until it gets very long, i will be posting individual updates that i will then compile and post on my personal website. block the tags now if you HATE comics and want them to EXPLODE.

if you have any questions, even things like "what the fuck are you even talking about" feel free to ask. i want to feel confident in what i make again and i think sometimes interrogation from an outside source is really

---

that said, let's get started. wait just kidding i want a cup of coffee first, hold on.

ok now im ready. i have a big glass of water. i have coffee. i have a headset for the parts of work that don't involve typing words. i can't type words and listen to some streamer babble in my ear at the same time, so it has to be instrumental music or nothing. i just took my meds so they should kick in after about 30 mins. i woke up late today, which is weird and annoying. but maybe i can work late instead.

first off, i need to know where i'm going beyond this one page. if i dont know where im going with something, then i usually create something that sucks that i have to deal with later. hold on my internet died, i have to reset the router. ok, anyway.

what's rattling around in my brain is that not only do i have to deal with maxine's current predicament, i am also dealing with multiple plot elements i need to wrap back around to from the previous chapter. luckily, im about to put maxine down for a nap, which means i can get back to those other elements:

i need to finish the exposition from the three ankou characters for this story arc establishing their motivations as the oppositional force in the story. the "villain" is not these three specifically, but their boss. they need to have a loose understanding of what's going on in order to communicate this to the audience. god this started turning into a huge ass paragraph so i'll just keep it short there.

we've jumped back to before jack's horrible day from the first chapter of this storyline so we have to make our way back toward that and then lapping it, which means wrapping up his various open threads like:

feeding victoria and learning something new about her

finding out alice is a very exceptional employee who is getting many awards

watching valdo call lily while interrupting her during something personal to ask her for help with maxine's situation.

jack meeting with valdo and lily the day after they first met so jack can just tell them straight up that lily has 4 sisters she doesnt know about.

help that girl with her poltergeist problem. remember that. i've had jokes for this rattling in my head for like 4 years. im going insane.

and also the fucking tilberi!!! that has a point its going somewhere!!! there's a larger menace here!!!

other things to set up the climax of this storyline. sexual tensions, hints at larger emotional problems not immediately evident to the reader

lots of moving parts. and i feel like im moving in slow motion to get to them. i can see them all weaving together in my head, its the process of putting that onto paper that's proving difficult.

ok that took an hour starting and stopping. -_- let me write the next part as i keep brainstorming on how to approach this page. taking a "rubber duck" approach to this might help. heres an image from the last page i worked on (i have a 5 page buffer rn so the site does not match the finished pages) to get us semi-situated.

also because images will help people understand what skill level we're working with here. i need to be able to communicate an idea to the audience; if the art also looks good on top of that, then that's just an added bonus. but the ability to communicate my ideas is sometimes hampered by my lack of artistic skill or comics language ineptitude. like those speech bubbles kind of fucking suck but at a certain point you have to just hit print on what you're working on in order to keep your already glacial pace.

webcomics is a tightrope act where you're also spinning 4 plates at once. the trick is to keep the audience from realizing how many actually fall or how wobbly they all are. the act sucks but technically its not a failure.

#a ghost story #webcomics #webcomic #webcomic day

[m1ckeyb3rry]

── PEREGRINE // THREE

Series Synopsis: The ways that you and Seishiro Nagi fall together and fall apart over the years.

Chapter Synopsis: You spend the night at May and Reo’s, and then you go to visit your parents.

Series Masterlist

Pairing(s): Nagi x Reader, Kira x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.0k

Content Warnings: unhealthy relationships, cheating, non-linear narrative, probably ooc, angst, nagi is endgame, kira sucks, alternate universe, original characters

A/N: literally twitching every time i have to write a chapter and nagi is just not in it LMAOAOA also l/n family slander is always acceptable here #iykyk

divider credits: @/benkeibear

“When do you plan on going to see your parents?” Reo said. You, May, and him were hanging out in their enormous kitchen as rain poured down outside, hammering against the windows and roof. The storm made you feel nostalgic, and you sighed wistfully as you watched the deluge.

“Probably tomorrow,” you said. “I just want to get it over with. Even without having the conversation, I know how it’s going to go. It’ll be the same as the usual, so there’s no point in delaying the inevitable.”

That probably didn’t mean much to either of the two, considering you had never divulged much to them. You had never been able to tell anyone about the details of your relationship with your parents — it was something secret and rotten that you held close to your chest, a hatred which festered in your stomach and cowered from the light, and you could not bear for anyone to see you like that.

“Do you want us to come?” May said. Although Reo had known you longer, May had always been the more perceptive between the two of them, had always been more in-tune with emotions — both her own and others’ — than anyone you had ever met.

“No, it’s okay,” you said. The last thing you needed was for your parents to see Reo, especially with his own fiancée. It would be the worst outcome, and when the situation was already bound to be so fraught, there was no sense in adding fuel to the fire.

“We’ll drop you off whenever, though,” Reo said. “That’s a promise.”

“No way,” you said. “You guys should be relaxing. The whole reason I came over early was to make things easier for you two during your wedding! I’m not about to cause extra problems. We’ll take the taxi, and then afterwards, I’ll look for wedding dress boutiques so we can book an appointment. We should probably get that over with soon, just in case it takes them time to get the fit altered.”

“If you mention my name, it’ll be finished in seconds,” Reo said dismissively. “Don’t worry about dumb stuff like that.”

“No need to brag,” you said, elbowing him in the side teasingly. “We should give them enough time to make sure the work is of the highest quality. Besides, we have to begin planning somewhere, don’t we? Might as well start with this.”

“But that’s another thing I can’t do with you guys,” he said. You could not help yourself from chuckling at the way he pouted, his eyes swimming with melodramatic tears.

“You’re seriously clingy,” you said.

“Once we’ve picked my dress, you can come help us choose the rest of the wedding party’s clothes,” May offered. “I don’t think there’s any superstition around that, is there?”

“No, it’s just that the groom isn’t supposed to see the bride’s dress until the wedding,” you said. “Everything else is alright. We can probably get the dresses and suits from the same shop, too, so we can kill two birds with one stone. Great idea, May!”

“Thanks,” May said.

“Just tell me when, and I’ll make sure Nagi is free — don’t look at me like that! You knew he was going to be the best man before accepting the maid of honor position. I warned you!” Reo said.

“I know, but I just…I mean, do you think he’s going to offer any valuable insight? Beyond saying something like ‘oh, this suit is less of a pain than that one,’” you said, pitching your voice deeper to mimic Nagi’s low, mild voice.

“He’s going to have to wear it, so his opinion is kind of relevant,” Reo said.

“What happened between you guys while we were gone, anyways?” May said. “It was pretty normal when we left, besides Kira making things kind of awkward, but after we got back from dropping him off, there was a really weird atmosphere. Did you guys talk about something?”

“Nothing in particular,” you said.

“That still means you talked,” Reo said. “May’s right. I thought you said you weren’t going to let the past impact the present, so what was that tense vibe all about?”

“I wasn’t going to,” you said. “He’s the one that brought it up!”

“Brought what up?” May said keenly. You gulped, suddenly feeling like you had walked into some kind of trap, though judging by Reo’s clueless expression, it was one that he, too, was unaware of.

“Um, just, our old animosity,” you said.

“He never disliked you, though,” Reo said. “I don’t know why he’d bring it up when he didn’t even have a problem in the first place.”

May laughed. “You hated someone who didn’t hate you back? So out of character, Y/N. What was the reason?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you said. “If you must know, things were weird because neither of us knew what to discuss without you there, Reo. We don’t have that much in common. The only things are being friends with you and going to the same high school.”

“That does make sense,” Reo said. “If I swear I won’t leave you two alone again, will you be less annoyed about him coming along?”

“If that’s the best deal I’m getting, then yes, I suppose so,” you said, even though a part of you wanted to be alone with Nagi for as long as possible. You knew, though, that it was better if you weren’t. Just the thought of Ryosuke’s face was enough to convince you that this was the only path forward, or, if nothing else, the simplest.

“Consider it done,” Reo said. “Are you sleeping in the guest room tonight?”

“If you don’t mind,” you said, directing the question to both him and May alike.

“It doesn’t bother us,” he said.

“We wouldn’t have let you come over if it was an issue,” May agreed with a yawn. Even though you weren’t that tired, you knew it was late, and unlike you, they had not slept half of the day away. You wanted to keep them up, to talk to them until your throat was dry, but it would be unkind, so you pretended to yawn as well.

“We should probably get to bed, then,” you said.

“Are you sure?” Reo said. “We can stay up a little longer if you’d like.”

“Yup, we can,” May said. You smiled but shook your head.

“No, I’m really tired. I’m just going to call Chigiri so I can see how Sora is doing, and then I’ll probably sleep myself,” you said.

“Okay, if that’s how you feel,” Reo said, beckoning you after him. “I’ll show you where everything is, and you can do what you need to. But be up for breakfast, alright? I’m calling one of my chefs to cook something for us, and if you miss it, I’ll be really angry.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you said.

“I don’t have to do a lot of things, but I do them anyways. Do you know why? It’s because I can,” he said. “So I will.”

“Honestly,” you said, shaking your head. “You’re such a show-off.”

“I have to look impressive for you,” he said.

“Aren’t we past that point now?” you said, thinking back to his ridiculous antics from high school. “I agreed to be your friend a while back.”

“Old habits die hard,” he said, shrugging and sticking his tongue out at you cheekily. You did the same back.

“Yeah, yeah,” you said. “Whatever, rich boy. I’ll be up.”

“Good,” he said, patting you on the head. “Sleep well, Y/N.”

“The same to you, Reo,” you said. “Tell May, too.”

“She’ll probably be over to wish you herself,” he said.

“I’ll stay up until she does, then,” you said.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said. “See you in the morning.”

“See you.”

The familiar motions of getting ready for the night were the same no matter where you went, serving as a backdrop for your thoughts, which even now had not settled.

It had been worse than you had expected. Seeing Nagi again, being so close to him after all of this time…you thought you could handle it, but you couldn’t. You thought that by finding him again, you could reaffirm your decisions, but the only thing he had done was throw everything into a muddle. As always. Why had you expected anything different?

The rain had not abated by the time you crawled under your sheets and scrolled through your list of contacts, searching for the one you wanted. You wished it would stop. The rain meant something different to you, and for that reason, you wanted it to go away, but the weather was ignorant to your desires, and so it continued to pour.

“Hey, Y/N. Calling already?” The screen only showed the top half of Chigiri’s face; most of it was dominated by the white of his ceiling and the whirring blades of his fan. He blinked his pretty eyes at you, obviously curious about what you needed. “Is everything okay?”

“Is Sora doing alright?” you said. The camera switched to show Chigiri’s lap, which was dominated by your large white cat, who was purring to herself as he pet her.

“We’re watching TV together,” he said. “I think she likes this show.”

“Sora,” you said, your voice shaking. “Are you being perfect for Chigiri?”

“Yes, I am,” Chigiri said, doing an admittedly excellent impression of a little girl. “That was Sora, by the way. Not me.”

You sniffed. “That’s good.”

“Seriously, is something up? You’re acting a little bit freaky,” he said, the camera flipping back to its original position, though he now held it at an angle where you could see his entire face.

You hugged a pillow to your chest, resting your chin atop it when you spoke. “I don’t know.”

“Do you wanna talk about it, or is this one of those moments where I’m supposed to distract you by talking about dumb bullshit?” he said.

“The second option,” you said. You didn’t want to talk to Chigiri about it. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, because no one could ever know, and besides, talking about it would make it real. It would mean that you had acknowledged it, and by breathing life into something so nebulous, you ran the risk of it taking on a tangible form that would jam down your throat and wrap around your joints, halting you from moving forward as you ought to.

“Okay. Um, I went for a walk today,” he said. “It was really nice out. I wanted to run, but I decided it was probably better that I didn’t. My neighbor’s garden is flourishing — you know, he doesn’t really seem like the type to be into flower-growing, but it looks nice. Lots of roses, which is surprising, considering the whole muscle-head aesthetic he has going on. Maybe I should try to be nicer to him.”

You giggled despite yourself. “Is this the one with the orange hair who helped me carry your groceries in when you were sick? He seemed like a good person. You should be nicer to him.”

“Yes, that one. It’s not like I’m mean or anything! I just prefer minding my own business,” he said.

“If you say so,” you said. “I am surprised he’s into growing roses and flowers and whatnot, though. I would’ve thought he was exclusively into making protein powder shakes.”

”That’s what I’m saying!” he said. “I suppose everyone has many sides to them.”

“Hm,” you said. “Say, Chigiri. Can I ask you a bit of a random question?”

“If I say no, you’re going to ask anyways, aren’t you?” he said dryly.

“Yeah,” you said.

“Then what was the point of checking first?” he said.

“I knew you’d say yes,” you said. He flushed at the way you had read him so well.

“Okay, okay. What is it?” he said.

“Do you know much about Japanese soccer?” you said.

“Obviously?” he said. “Why’d you even ask that? It’s kind of a given, you know.”

“It was just a prelude. There’s a player — former player — that I was wondering if you had any thoughts on,” you said.

“Which one? If you say Kira, I’m killing you,” he said.

“No, not him. Um, Seishiro Nagi?” you said.

Chigiri raised his eyebrows. “That’s unexpected.”

“What is?” you said.

“You being interested in a player like that,” he said. “He’s Reo’s best man, isn’t he? Why don’t you ask him yourself? You guys must’ve gone to high school together.”

“I want to hear what you think,” you said. “That’s why I’m going to you. Idiot.”

“I’m flattered. Well, keep in mind that this isn’t a professional evaluation or anything; I’ve never even met him, and anyways, I’m just a failed player myself, so I’m hardly qualified to give my opinion on anything,” he said.

“That’s not true, Chigiri,” you protested.

“It is. It’s okay; there’s no need to fight about it. That’s not what we’re talking about. My thoughts on Seishiro Nagi…he was talented, and that’s a fact. If I remember correctly, they used to call him the falcon of the field, right?” he said.

“Yes, I think that’s what it was,” you said.

“He was almost unbeatable. Sure, he had a few losses, especially earlier on in his career, but for the most part, facing off against him was like a death sentence for any team that had that misfortune. A combination of unorthodox thinking and unbelievable physicality made him a genuine threat,” he said.

“I see,” you said. “I knew all of that already, though.”

“Jeez, never satisfied, huh? It’s not like I know him personally, and I was already in college by the time he started really getting big. That’s about the extent of it,” he said. “If I remember, one of my high school friends had a sister who was a fan of his for a bit, but she got over it pretty quickly, since he never went on social media or anything. Guess it’s difficult to have a parasocial relationship with someone so private.”

“Even in high school, he was that kind of guy,” you said, unable to stop yourself from grinning affectionately, though you pushed it back before Chigiri could notice. “No one knew the first thing about him. He was such a mystery.”

“Some people are into that lifestyle, I suppose,” he said. You hummed.

“Guess so,” you said.

“I don’t really know much else, Y/N, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to talk to him if you want more,” he said. Scoffing, you shook your head resolutely.

“It was just a typical curiosity,” you said. “I don’t need more than that. Thanks, Chigiri.”

“Anything for you,” he said.

“You’re making me blush,” you deadpanned.

“It’s only because your cat’s so cute,” he said. “Mind if I keep her?”

“In your dreams,” you said. “Speaking of which, I should get to bed. Talk to you later.”

“Later.”

Only a few moments elapsed between Chigiri hanging up and May knocking on your door. You knew it was her because she was light and hesitant instead of firm and sharp, the way Reo would’ve been, and also because she announced herself shortly after.

“Come in!” you said, pulling your blanket up around your shoulders.

“Are you still talking with Chigiri?” she said, flopping down on the foot of the bed.

“Obviously not,” you said, nodding towards the blank screen of your phone. “I wouldn’t have told you you could come in if I was.”

“That’s true,” she said.

“What did you need to ask?” you said. There were never any secrets between you and May. It was impossible to lie to her when you had lived together with her for years, and conversely, she could never hide her true intentions from you.

“Nothing in particular,” she said. “Just…are you sure you’re going to be okay with this whole maid of honor thing? It seems like there’s way more to your history with Nagi than I realized. If you’re uncomfortable with it, then we can figure something else out.”

“No!” you said, too quickly for it to have been a natural reaction. “No, it’s okay. We’re okay. It was just really sudden today, that’s all. I wasn’t prepared to see him again. Please, I told this to Reo and I’ll say it to you too: don’t worry about me. Your wedding is the only thing you should be thinking about, and even that shouldn’t be a cause of anxiety. I’ll take care of everything.”

“Okay, but you’re my friend, and I don’t want you to be more stressed in my place or anything,” she said slowly. “If it’s a problem, you have to tell me immediately. Reo can pay someone else to be his best man, so it’s not a huge issue.”

“It wouldn’t be fair to him,” you said. “He’s been friends with Nagi for almost as long as he’s known me. I don’t want my own issues to ruin his wedding. Really, May, thank you for the concern, but there’s not a problem at all, and even if there is, I’ll handle it.”

You mimed hitting the air, and she snorted, shaking her head condescendingly.

“What, you gonna fistfight Nagi if he bothers you too much or something?” she said.

“Yeah. You don’t think I can win?” you said.

“I mean, considering he was a professional athlete until a few years ago and you’re…you,” she said. “No.”

“You should have more faith in me,” you said. “I can totally take him on. Bam! He won’t know what hit him.”

You punched your pillow for emphasis, which drew a giggle out of her. Taking the pillow from you, she fluffed it up again before handing it back so you could lay against it.

“I’ll bet on you, then, so you had better win, or else Reo won’t let me hear the end of it for a week or more,” she said. You flexed your biceps.

“You can count on me,” you said.

“On a more serious note, though, and now that Reo’s not around, will you tell me the truth about what Nagi brought up? I know you were lying earlier, but I figured you just didn’t want to make Reo feel bad. I’m sure it must be strange for him, having his two best friends dislike each other,” she said.

You had no interest in lying to her, but you also could not tell her the entire truth, so you decided to go with a version of it all.

“The past,” you said. “I don’t know if Reo’s mentioned it, but we had a very complicated relationship back then.”

“He never elaborated, though, to be fair, I don’t think he really understood it well enough in the first place. He just said that you seemed to really hate Nagi when you all went to school together, but you never told him why,” she said.

“I was embarrassed,” you said with a shrug. “It was an embarrassing reason, and not one that a person like Reo could ever understand, so I kept it to myself. Nagi never really had any friends, bar Reo of course, so no one ever thought any less of me for it.”

“Embarrassing?” she said, and then an idea dawned her, her expression morphing into one of pure horror. “If that overgrown q-tip of a man hurt you at some point, then I don’t care about Reo’s feelings. He’s out of the wedding!”

“Overgrown — what? What are you talking about?” you said.

“You said that it was an embarrassing reason that Reo could never understand,” she said. “What would be more embarrassing than you getting rejected by Nagi of all people? And I doubt Reo’s ever been rejected in his life, unfortunately, so he definitely wouldn’t comprehend that sort of feeling. If it’s the case, then just let me know and I’ll sort things out! Reo has other friends now, so he can just have one of them be his best man. Or there’s always the paid route, like I mentioned earlier.”

“It wasn’t like that,” you said. “Also, there’s no way Reo has other friends, so please don’t lie for my sake.”

“No, he does. If you don’t believe me, just wait for the wedding — you’ll meet them there. At the least, he can always get Chigiri to do it,” she said.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. “Anyways, though, it’s fine. You missed the mark this time, I’m afraid.”

“Oh. Then what was it?” she said. You smiled ruefully and shook your head.

“You wouldn’t understand, either, you know? So it’s okay. Enough of this; he knows better than to bring it up again, and I know better than to end up alone with him again,” you said.

She really was the loyal sort. It was evident in the way she hesitated before nodding, standing up with a furrow to her brow and a pensive twist to her mouth as she headed to the door.

“Y/N,” she said. “Like I said, the instant he pulls something, you tell me, alright? Before you get in a fistfight or anything ridiculous like that, come to me.”

“Got it,” you said. “I’ll remember that. Goodnight, May.”

“Goodnight.”

You wondered when it had come to be that you felt more uncomfortable with your own fiancé than anyone else. Yet it remained that being shoved in a taxi with him on the way to your childhood home was the oddest sensation you had experienced in so long that you found yourself once again longing for the days when it had been simpler, when you and him had gotten along in an easy way.

“Did you have a nice time at May and Reo’s?” Ryosuke said.

“I did,” you said. “Reo made one of his chefs come to serve us breakfast, so it was delicious.”

“It’s a good thing he’s about to be married, or I’d be jealous,” Ryosuke said. “How can a normal guy like me compete with that?”

“Stop,” you said. “He loves May. There’s no competition, and don’t say anything like that in front of my parents.”

“What?” he said in alarm. “Are there rules to this meeting? I was just planning on winging it!”

You held back the urge to groan. He could not be blamed; like Reo and May, he didn’t know what it meant for you to see your parents again, not fully. Why would he expect anything other than a normal meal at their place? But your parents weren’t that type, and if he just waltzed in and expected them to love him based on nothing but your fondness for him, then he was mistaken.

The home you had grown up in had not changed a bit in your absence. The same flowers still bloomed alongside the concrete path leading to the front door, and the bushes were still the exact emerald shade they had been on the day you had left. Foreboding crept in you as you ascended the stairs and pressed on the button for the doorbell, and you reached behind you to grab Ryosuke’s hand as footsteps approached the foyer.

“Mother,” you said when the door swung open, revealing a pair who, too, had not changed from the images of them which you held in your memories. “Father. It’s been a while.”

Your mother’s lips pressed into a thin line, and your father clenched his jaw as he regarded you and Ryosuke. For a brief moment, you thought that he would turn the two of you away, but he only glared at you for a second longer before motioning for you both to come in.

“Y/N,” your mother said. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“Did you think I’d miss the wedding?” you said.

“Wedding?” your father said.

“No need to play innocent,” you said, marveling at the nooks and crannies you had once known so intimately. “You know whose wedding I speak of.”

“It should’ve been yours,” your mother said.

“If things had gone the way you wanted, it would’ve been mine,” you agreed. “But they didn’t, and it’s not. It’s Reo and May’s.”

“There’s still time,” your father said. “They aren’t married yet. You could still—”

“When will you give up?” you said, cutting him off, squeezing Ryosuke’s hand — as much for his reassurance as your own. “I flew halfway across the world to escape you and your demands, and the first thing you do upon my return is make more? It’s shameless, father.”

“Why are you back here?” your mother said, presenting a tray filled with tea and biscuits to the two of you. You wavered before allowing yourself to pick up one of the cups, dipping a biscuit in it and chewing on it. The flavor reminded you of your childhood, immediately transporting you to the days when you had not despised your life so thoroughly and extremely. “You made your feelings quite clear when you left, so what brings you back?”

“He wanted to meet you,” you said. “Ryosuke Kira. My fiancé.”

“Hello, sir, madam,” Ryosuke said, bowing his head politely. You had to give him that — he was good at acting, and in this situation, it was a helpful attribute. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”

“You seriously chose him over Reo Mikage?” your father said bluntly. “That’s a decision no one in their right mind would make.”

“Enough about Reo,” you hissed between your teeth before smiling tightly, your nails digging into the back of Ryosuke’s hand. “We aren’t here to go over that same argument. Aren’t you going to congratulate me? Your only daughter is getting married.”

“Does he have a house of his own?” your mother said.

“Yes,” you said.

“A job with a good income?” your father said.

“Well above average,” you said. “It’s secure, too.”

“Then it’s good enough,” your mother said, stiffly, insincerely. “He’s no corporate heir, but he’s a serviceable consolation prize. Congratulations, Y/N. You’ve done better for yourself than we expected.”

They didn’t ask if you loved him, or if he loved you in return, but why would they? It was unimportant. When it came to relationships and marriages, such fickle concepts as love could not be relied upon. It was the ideal that they had pounded into you from a young age: stability. Safety. It was easier to learn to love someone than it was to live a life without certainty. It was easier for you to pretend to be unaware of Ryosuke’s dalliances than it was for you to let go and live the rest of your life alone.

“I don’t think your parents liked me,” Ryosuke confessed upon entering the taxi you had called to take you back.

“Don’t take it personally,” you said. “They’re just upset that things didn’t go according to their carefully laid plans. It’s fine. I wasn’t expecting them to be happy, anyways. That went better than I anticipated, all things considered.”

“What plans?” Ryosuke said as the driver took off towards your hotel. Ryosuke would get down there, and you would continue on to the dress fitting appointment that Reo had somehow already managed to book before you had even woken up.

You weighed the merits of telling him, but came to the conclusion that it would only make things more difficult for you.

“Plans that never had a chance of success in the first place,” you said. “That’s the long and short of it. Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure,” he said. “What style of dress is May thinking of getting for the wedding party?”

“She mentioned wanting me to have a different dress than the rest of the bridesmaids, since I’m the maid of honor,” you said. “I think she wants it to be my choice.”

“How considerate of her,” Ryosuke said. “She really is such a sweet girl. And so pretty, too! She’ll make a beautiful bride.”

You thought back to what Nagi had said at dinner, your face souring as his cool, snarky tone rang in your mind. It looked like he wanted that waitress, too. And that hostess. And May. But I don’t think he’d go after her, because, y’know, Reo would be pretty mad, and he can definitely afford a better lawyer than Kira can if it comes down to it…

“Reo is lucky,” you said, though all you wanted to do was grab his face and demand he look at you. Aren’t I beautiful, too? Aren’t I sweet, too? You wanted to scream these things at him, but you feared that the answers were not ones you’d prefer, so you remained silent.

“I bet you’ll look great, too,” he said. “Make sure you pick something flattering. I want everyone to see just how amazing my fiancée is.”

“I would’ve done that regardless,” you said.

“Maybe you should FaceTime Chigiri and ask for his advice! We all know how well he can pull off a dress,” he said, snickering.

“That happened once, and you need to stop bringing it up. It wasn’t even his choice,” you said, though you could not suppress a laugh at the memory of the time that you and May had forced Chigiri into a dress so that you could sneak him into a Halloween party with you.

“As you wish,” he said. “Looks like this is my stop. Text me when you’re on the way back!”

“Okay,” you said. “Wait. Ryosuke.”

“What’s up?” he said.

“Can I, uh, send you pictures? Of my options? So you can help me choose?” you said, hating how uncertain your voice sounded, the cracking hinting at your true meaning — tell me. Tell me what I will look worthy of you in. Tell me what it is you want from me.

“Can’t you just pick on your own?” he said. “I was planning on taking a nap and then going to eat. I won’t really have time. Ask May or Reo if you’re stuck.”

It had been a foolish idea to begin with, and as the taxi you were in accelerated away from him, you cursed yourself for even trying. After all, if a simple dress would’ve been enough for your fiancé’s eyes to remain on you, then they never would’ve strayed in the first place.

taglist (comment/send an ask to be added): @mariyumemi @naatggeo @prettyarsxnist @noble-17 @rinitoshisgirl @stuckindreamland06

#nagi x reader #nagi x y/n #nagi x you #nagi seishiro #bllk x reader #bllk #blue lock #reader insert #modern au #peregrine #m1ckeyb3rry writes

[tuna-cereal-box]

Hello!! I Was Wondering If Your Still Working On That Divergence Au I Think The Designs Are Really Cool And Want To Know More ^ w ^

The AU is still in the works! I'm not quite active on Tumblr yet, so I don't know how much attention the AU has compared to other places I post about it During these months I've been mostly rewriting things here and there on the AU before I give the execution a go So far my first and biggest plan is for the AU's first chapter to be a Sonic fan game, just because it sounds more fun And while I'm still making the chapter 1 game I'll still draw stuff related to the AU for more knowledge of what it is so far Still I'll explain what it is currently:

Everything was originally the same as the original Sonic world (except that fewer games never happend such as SegaSonic the Hedgehog, Sonic Mania and Knuckles' Chaotix, and fewer characters doesn't exist in this world such as Mighty for example) At this point of the story, it's supposed to be a bridge between the classic era and the Adventure era but one thing and another influenced the story to take another path - Sonic for some reason has been thinking about Knuckles, wondering how Knuckles feels about just guarding the Emerald instead of living life at its fullest like Sonic and Tails does Tails doesn't get at first why Sonic would specifically think of Knuckles; in Tails mind, Knuckles has better understanding of the island and understands why he'd prefer to guard the Master Emerald and protect Angel Island instead of anybody else doing this But Sonic doesn't really pay attention to that detail and decides to visit Knuckles, only to find out that he's nowhere to be seen on the island [...] One of their guesses is that this is all Eggman's work again, and while Eggman is indeed involved, it wasn't him the responsible for Knuckles disappearance (in fact, Eggman doesn't know about what happend to him). The duo decides to trace Eggman's whereabouts

As for Eggman, he was supposed to investigate the newborn Isolated Island but he was mistakenly guided to Starfall Islands, and ended up discovering the ancient technology instead and building Newtrogic High over the island and its tech However the doctor has put even more focus on upgrading the Death Egg with the newfound technology than rebranding the Island: White Park and Oil Desert are clearly made by Eggman, Sylvania Castle is untouched yet, Techno Tower is a megalopolis where Death Egg Mk II is being built over Little Planet - Sage was made the same way in the canon: originally a device to control technology and then greatly modified into a lifelike being, the result made Eggman more excited about taking the technology for himself Just like the canon, she gained a lot of information about the technology and detected The End, and once Eggman was told about the presence of an world consuming entity and the possibility of Sonic unleashing it, the thoughts of the "end of the world" was taking over his mind; Reflecting and changing his own will and goals, which makes him look like a lunatic in front of everyone including Sage During the story his motivations for a world domination are changed to "see Sonic's smile go away over the world he couldn't save this time" - Eggman also linked Sage to all his creations so far, even if in this period Eggman hasn't matured enough to see Sage as a daughter he still envisions Sage as a successor to his legacy So the interaction between them in this universe is not exactly like that of a family, but he treats her like one of his greatest creations

Sage also reports to Eggman that Metal Sonic was reactivated on his own and left Little Planet before Eggman sealed said planet in his Death Egg MK II, which is why they couldn't find him somewhere on the planet - Eggman explains to Sage how not every creation was made to be fully obedient: in Metal Sonic's case he was created to be a perfect equal to Sonic, with his own strategies and ambitions while the doctor discreetly give him improvements so as not to expose that the freedom Metal Sonic possesses is a lie In fact, the doctor programmed Metal with the mindset that Sonic is robbing Metal and eventually others of their freedom, the rest of his mentality beyond that is all Metal Sonic's own experience. Everything Metal Sonic does goes according to the doctor's plans, and the advent of Sonic and the knowledge (discreetly transmitted by Sage) that he'll unleash the end of the world marks the return of Metal and his arrival on Starfall Island to defeat Sonic

At this point of the story that's where the Chapter 1 game starts, the duo Sonic and Tails would land safely on Sylvania Castle until something invades Tails' body and starts to haunt him, encouraging to break the seals (Titans) that are now remodeled by Eggman's liking

The End chose to host and deceive Tails instead of Sonic for not only being easier to fool but also to slowly break free through Tails' body while they explore the Starfall Islands long enough And while Tails does get stronger with The End's cyber corruption (he even becomes able to carry Sonic underwater and the icy waters of White Park doesn't affect him very much) the more The End infects Tails with cyber corruption and tries to break free through him, the stronger the pain gets for Tails If The End manages to break free through Tails instead of taking down the seals to unleash it, Tails will straight up die and his body fade as it's fully corrupted, and eventually their world will die too by The End consuming everything and turning the world into an endless void - ...But this only happens if you don't get all the emeralds! If you do get all Chaos Emeralds, you'll be able to progress through the game and play Sky Fortress and onwards The End gets unleashed as the last seal was broken after the final boss, the world gets consumed with Tails being the only one alive, with The End tormenting him with last words of gratitude for him until Tails used all strength he still has to use the Emeralds to grant Sonic and everyone another chance to live But as Tails started to use the emeralds, The End happend to be dragged into Tails to become extra power/part of his powerful wish - When the wish was granted, Tails was massively affected by the blast he caused, regressing him mentally and physically with Sonic being his only memory The End also changed drastically, all its power drained and its physical form now merely the body of the ancient, who piloted Supreme, as a vessel Since then The End has harbored a deep hatred for Tails for taking away all its power and seeks to replenish its power with whatever the new world offers - Meanwhile in the new world, you may definitely find new faces in here but familiar ones are also here as reincarnations of the original characters, the biggest example is Mighty the Armadillo; the reincarnation of Sonic

Mighty happend to find a big machine powered by a corrupted Chaos Rings, which in this world the Chaos Rings are backups of the ones that was dragged into cyberspace after dying in the original world, and a Chaos Ring with the remains of Sonic exist, although it seems that The End started to spread a bit of its influence and corruption, affecting machines and whatever they're being powered The machine Mighty fights happend to be very corrupted, and once he released the Chaos Ring inside, the ring immediately shoots itself into Mighty and starts a forced merge I've explained in this picture too

Studium and Kris (Kittenish) has still a long way to go and you'll be playing as them in Chapter 1 still and get more ideas of who they are in there -

Sage is also around in the new world, as a cybernetic being she was able to enter the cyberspace and protect herself from the world consumption and Tails' world reset, her father however had a wicked idea to transfer his mind into his latest invention (and eventually you'll see which invention it is) so he pretty much died too before the world was getting consumed I aim to show her on Chapter 2, but for now all you have to know is she's after The End in order to avoid another catastrophe, and recognizes Studium as The End's "remote doomsday weapon" at first, so it's also one of Sage's targets Thanks to Sage being linked to Eggman's technology and saving herself on cyberspace, Eggman's technology also survived as they were identified and associated as ancient technology somehow

Meaning that Metal Sonic also survived, and once Studium/Sonic meets Metal, you can consider it one of the moments where things are about to be intense -

Amy in this world isn't a natural reincarnation like Mighty is for Sonic and many other characters, in the original world the Death Egg MK II was confining Little Planet with the intent of just taking it over, but the technology by itself was going beyond Eggman's obligations: it wasn't sealing the planet, it was sucking the life out of it to power the Death Egg MK II and this only made Eggman more incredulous about the current events on Starfall Island - After the world reset, Death Egg MK II has survived with Little Planet still attached to it, however the planet was already dying As a last act, the planet decided to spend his last vital energy dropping a magical seed like the others on Little Planet on Earth, sprouting a flower that'll give birth a person who has always shared love and care for Little Planet in the original world: Amy Rose This was Little Planet's last gift to the world, and the individuals who found the newborn Amy in the flower were... Heavy and Bomb, also survivors of the world reset And with Eggman out of the picture, they decide to take care of Amy and teach her to be a mechanic like them, and until then Amy has been a great inventor and always seeks to help those who are having difficulties Oh and she also made her own megalopolis with the same name of Newtrogic High, with most attractions reminding you of "Sonic CD's good future rounds" and based on Solarpunk - Over time, she discovers more lost machines around the world that previously belonged to Eggman, and curiously they contain memories of this lost past. But there is one individual who's not happy with her tinkering with this technology:

His name was mostly known as Agent Stone, in this world he's the reincarnation of Eggman and was originally tasked to discover the creature that was murdering innocents, until he discovered Eggman's lost technology and went to secretly analyze it. Stone was impressed that there was another world and a brilliant mind like Eggman inventing many machines and doing the impossible, but one of the things that captivated Stone is a blue hedgehog that Eggman was always fighting with, a creature similar to the monster that murdered people in the current world Stone interprets that Eggman's ambitions were to improve the world and stop this killer, so he dedicates himself to being an inventor based on Eggman's technology And seeing that there is a pink girl taking these machines and modifying them in her own way revolts Stone for the disrespect this is towards Eggman's legacy, so Amy and Stone are most often in conflict -

These two you'll see the most from me, I originally made them with the idea of being based on Sonic Crackers/Knuckles' Chaotix development where Sonic was converted into Mighty and Tails was mostly erased and only playable as a Knuckles with Tails' palette in an early prototype (Kris' body was closer to Knuckles shape in her first days before I decided to lean it more to Tails') Studium's name is literally taken from an early name for Sonic Crackers called "Sonic Studium" ...which was probably supposed to be "Sonic Stadium" and ironically there's people that call Studium "Stadium", and honestly I'm very fine with that lmao His character is pretty much the unintentionally cool and serious characters such as Shadow the Hedgehog, Meta Knight from Kirby, Zero from the Mega Man franchise, or hideous characters such as Steven from Strangled Red, and many other characters that served as inspirations for him In Kris case, I didn't know how I'd name her besides throwing a name that represent "cat" and "devious", so I used Google Translate to discover a word fitting for a name and her nature, and so I named her Kittenish I also realized some people had a hard time to spell or write her name, so I reduced it to "Kris", especially to reference another Kris that's from Deltarune as they're part of the inspirations for her character along with other inspirations _ The world reset idea was something that I had because 1. Seeing how drastic Sonic Crackers changed into Knuckles' Chaotix with Tails kinda surviving the deletion made me envision it as a possible story 2. The way JoJo part 6 ends basically That's all I can explain about the AU for now! So far I'm still working on Chapter 1:

#sonic divergence au #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #tails #tails the fox #sonic au #miles tails prower #studium the hare #kittenish #kris the tenacious

[xerotiny99]

HOLY CURSE ♱ CHAPTER ONE

DAY ONE

January 1st, 2019, Sunday. 22:17

The blue trim on the walls is quite irking for you as your eyes scan every bit of the space in front of you. The floor plan of the store was well thought and executed — there were two separate doors for entrance and exit, and all the aisles were situated neatly apart. The doors were automated with sensors; upon a customer's arrival the entrance door would produce a low mechanical ding. To the side of the same door, was a stand of newspapers and magazines — right in front of which located the cash register with an uncomfortable chair for you.

"Thank you, visit again!" You feign your cordiality whilst handing the customer their grocery bag. You bow slightly at the old woman and sigh in relief watching her walk out to her parked car in the lot.

You sit yourself on the chair, leaning back, your eyes drifting away to the far end, where the cold storage aisle was. One of the tube lights there flickered every five minutes, irking you. Though, you couldn't care less about it. It was your first day at work. Mr. Haruki hired you almost immediately without any interview. He even requested you to start at the earliest of your convenience; since Mr. Haruki was old and forgetful, he could longer manage the night shift by himself. Which would explain why he started hiring the young crowd from university for past three months, but all of which resigned almost after a month of working. He even conveyed his concerns about you leaving the job as much like the few ones who worked before, but you reassured the old man that you won't be leaving anytime soon.

Now looking back on the empty promise you made to Mr. Haruki, you regret having to say it. Of course, you were not going to be here forever, you were going to keep the job for as long as it took for you to save up enough money for your dream. The one dream you dreamt on the new year with your boyfriend. You want to leave this town behind and move in with your boyfriend; you had thought of renting an apartment and living on in the city next door. Wooyoung and Mitski had the same plan outlined since, and so your group made it their aim to get out of this town.

You stare at the flickering light, as it annoys you even more so now. You huff in ire and stomp on your feet to get out of the chair. The sound of your rushed footsteps clatter against the floor, resounding around the vacant store, while your eyes stay fixed on the light. Standing under it, you croon your neck up to examine it. You stared and studied it as if you could fix it yourself. You sigh yet again, trailing your gaze down to find a reflection of man staring at you one of the glass doors of the refrigerator.

"Oh fuck," you curse under her breath, turning around to meet with the man you just saw. He wore a long trench coat, or maybe he was just as tall; he also had a muffler around his neck, secured and warm.

He stood by the cash register, seemingly lost staring at you. You don’t think much of it, and march back to your designated place. Anxiously, you tug on your name tag, which remained pinned to your chest, while your other hand straightens the end of the apron clad over your clothes. As surprising it was, the store didn't have a set uniform for the employees. The dingy coloured blue apron was a must, however.

"How may I help you?" You fake a smile, stepping behind the register.

The man's lips curve slightly, "oh, do you happen to have restocked on dried berries? I came in last week and couldn’t find them.”

"Oh right. We did. You’ll find them in the aisle six, right down there." You point to the middle somewhere, to which his smile gets deeper and he excuses himself to disappear around there.

You release a breath. You were relieved somehow. Well, in the point of that, you knew what kind of customers would come to the store at night. It were mostly the late night runs ins in the store; seemingly for ramen, or something that people liked to label as their comfort food. You also knew there would be drunks making their way to the store, however you weren’t worried much about it. Mr. Haruki had installed numerous cameras around the building.

"It's cold out there, isn't it?" the same man's voice breaks your trance.

"It is." You agree, looking down at the stuff he kept on the counter.

Some dried berries, and a box of chocolate. He has a sweet tooth. Who were you to judge him, anyway. You ring up the items and prepare a polythene bag for the same.

"Card or cash?" you ask as you tie a knot to the bag.

"Card, please." He hands you his card.

You make the payment and hand him his receipt for the purchased items, murmuring a soft thank you.

"Did Keiko leave her job?" his question catches you off guard. He grabs the bag and stares down at you for a moment.

"I believe so," you reply, looking away.

"Ah, there's never a familiar face around here." He adds, "you'll find a new face every month. I’m tired of befriending them only to have them leave." Maybe it was supposed to be a joke, but you don’t seem to take it as one. "I'm Seonghwa, you might see a lot more of me from now on."

"I'm..." you trail, pointing at your name tag. "You already know me. And I look forward to seeing you."

Seonghwa, with his coarse voice, mumbles a dainty thank you before leaving out the doors. Your lips curl up slightly watching the taller man make his way to his car. The car zooms out the parking lot with a loud roar of engine resonating behind. You’re in awes at the man; Seonghwa, he was insanely good looking, sporting his pink dyed hair and a black choker around his neck. You had a newfound admiration for the job. If you were going to meet such cute guys, then maybe the job wasn't so bad after all.

Time drags on slow while you text your boyfriend. He's talking to you about the cat he rescued from a tree in the evening today and brought her home. You were a bit furious, but after comforting series of text from San, you had composed yourself to make a rational decision. Well, with the back and forth of spite, you both decided to keep the car. San even named the cat; ‘Luna’ was her name.

San: *attached image* meet Luna isn’t she cute?

Deiji: she's super cute... reminds me of certain someone

San: im flattered haha how's work? met any pervert yet?

Deiji: not really but a sweet guy did stop by

San: you know you’re dating me, right?

Deiji: i love you too see ya sannie

You hated cutting your conversation short, but you placed your phone down when you heard the similar mechanical ding reverberating around. A shiver runs down your spine, and your breath hitches as you watch a man clad in all black make his way in. He doesn't look at you, or even acknowledge your presence. His feet guide him straight to the aisle holding housing materials. You slump back into the chair, trying to burn the picture of the man from your mind. He looked ethereal, for someone who’s dressed in black. There was something about his eyes, suffocating you somehow, almost gagging you out by slithering his gaze around your throat; there was something about his tall stature that you couldn't figure out yet. There was something about the man you couldn't resist. It was the temptation of dwelling into his darkness, the shadows his leaves behind him as he walks.

As you try to get your head out of it, the man now stands in front of you with two industrial size bottles of bleach on the counter. His eyes are dark as they stare at you; most of his face remains covered under a black mask, a curse for you as you wouldn't have mind taking a peek at his entire face. The collar of the shirt adores the name of the brand; Fendi, a luxury brand. He paired the black shirt with black trousers and overlayed it with a black leather coat. The bleached tips of his hair sift tidy on his forehead, parted in the middle. You notice the man's complexion, he was pale, as pale as snow.

"That would be 40000 won." You inform, ringing up the items.

"I’ll be paying by cash." His deep voice lingers in your ears, as he proceeds to slide you a stack of bills. "It's the exact amount. Don't mind counting them." he deadpans, grabbing both the bottles in either of his hands and heading out.

You clutch onto the receipt of his purchase, wide eyed and confused at the man who just left. He had an eerie aura, but the worst...

          He reeked of blood.

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#ateez #ateez fanfic #jeong yunho #ateez yunho #atz #ateez x reader #jeong yunho x reader #jeong yunho x you

[whoiwanttoday]

So not last Friday but two Fridays ago was National Paranormal Day, something I didn't know existed and there is a joke here about it not actually existing no matter how much some people abuse the scientific method to prove it does but I won't go down that rabbit hole. The point is that night I had a friend who made me aware and asked me to watch something Paranormal but I was busy so I didn't. They watched The Amityville Horror, a truly bad movie that was also part of a massive pop culture phenomena. It's a thing I am fascinated by because I am always interested in ideas that infect society and I wish I could have been there to feel it. To see if it felt like everyone believed there was a haunting in Amityville or not. If you don't know the story you can look it up but it's been pretty thoroughly debunked over the years, though of course there are still true believers, but it was a best selling book that lead to a massive hit movie that has lead to an official movie franchise and an unofficial one that has spawned combined hundreds of movies. You think I am exaggerating but I promise you I am not. Since Amityville is a real place as long as you don't call it the Amityville Horror anyone can make a movie and put Amityville in front of it and suddenly you have a movie sure to make money on streaming. It's how you get things ranging from Amityville Island and Amityville Vampire to Amityville Dollhouse and Amityville in Space. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about Amityville but rather how I didn't watch it Friday night. But it put it in my head so I finally did watch it again, it's a not very good movie but one that has always been part of my life because it was just… always sort of there as a kid. On TV a lot, someone always had a VHS copy recorded off of cable somewhere. So I have seen it many times and the bright spot has always been Margot Kidder because she's the bright spot in a whole lot of movies. She has this moxie and charm about her that comes out in a very specific 70's Liberated Lady way that you don't see anymore. It's so era specific, a backbone and some spunk mixed with a world weariness and the fact that she has seen more than you have. It's why she was a pitch perfect Lois Lane but she is also in a few horror movies and one of them I deeply love she is the best part in, which is high praise cause Black Christmas is awesome. Anyway, I feel like I was intellectually aware she must be an attractive woman cause she's in movies and stuff but she was first and foremost Lois Lane to me as a kid and I couldn't sexualize Lois Lane. Guys, it turns out I can sexualize Kathleen Lutz. I dunno what it is, 4k resolution, getting older, some third thing you can feel free to tell me about in the comments below but man, she is gorgeous. Just so absolutely beautiful and I felt a little dumb that I hadn't fully registered this. Like I knew but I was embarrassed for my loins that they hadn't done their job and made me lust after her previously. They usually don't drop the ball like this. Anyway, in ultra high def I am here to tell you her face is a marvel. And you pair that with the sort of verve Margot Kidder always brings to the screen and I was smitten. To the point I was like, "Did anyone else notice how hot she is in this movie?" Guys, they did. My favorite review I found online was from a woman that said, "You'd think this movie would make me wary of ouija but now we're digging up the board to ask Margot Kidder to be our third". I get it. Today I want to fuck Margot Kidder.

#Margot Kidder #brunette #Actress #retrocrush #whoiwanttofucktoday

[angelmichelangelo]

so i found a dr raynor vs dr harrow analysis i wrote a while back just sitting in my drafts so here it is for anyone that cares lol:

so in hindsight, neither of them are necessarily good or bad therapists. i think, like real life, they have varying qualities about them that will either play into their patients strengths, or just totally go against their weaknesses.

i think marvel is a little… unbalanced, shall we say? when it comes to portraying real life therapy. now, i would like to stress that dr harrow isn’t real (in terms of existing in the mcu world) he’s simply a creation from marc’s mind, and so when i discuss his tactics against dr raynor’s consider that im saying all of this with a pinch of salt because some of his behaviour/actions just stems from marc’s own perspective on therapist and therapy.

i’ll talk about dr raynor first however since we saw her actually exist with the mcu and give a real therapy session. now, bucky barnes and marc spector are two completely different characters. they’ve experienced different things, experienced different mental health issues, however it’s evident that both of them are victims of very heavy trauma.

so when we meet dr raynor in episode one, it’s evident that her and bucky do not get along. which, in itself is no crime. im sure a lot of people can relate to having some sort of resilience towards their therapist, especially under bucky’s circumstances where it’s government mandated instead of voluntary (aka, he’s not doing this for his own sake of getting better but rather because it’s required of him to do so). their relationship is strained, he’s very closed off, there’s a lot of very blunt answers and raynor… i feel lets it aggravate her. now, we know as a character bucky is stubborn, he can be blunt and snappy. and im gonna pretend like marvel put any thought behind this at all, but i imagine that when picking an appropriate therapist for bucky, they went with someone that was most like him, in order to make him feel vulnerable enough to open up. bucky certainly doesn’t need to be babied. he doesn’t need a therapist that is gonna coddle him every time he refuses to talk about his ptsd fuelled nightmares, or allow him to simply sit in silence for the entirety of the session just so he can say he went. in that aspect, raynor is a good therapist for bucky. someone who isn’t gonna shy away from him, someone who’s clearly not afraid of him – and that’s key. bucky spends a lot of time worrying about himself and how he is perceived. having raynor be blunt with him isn’t her just being an asshole, but it’s simply showing him “hey, im not gonna treat you any differently because who you are and what you did. this is how it is now suck it up and help yourself get better.”

i believe in that aspect, raynor is a pretty good fit for bucky. my gripe comes with basically how the show wrote her. i think again, it’s not so much her as a character but how marvel projects therapy into their show. raynor did some pretty unprofessional things. she taunted him about his dead family and friends as a means to get him to open up (yeesh) she makes sam sit in on a therapy session with neither of their consent (big no no) and her entire purpose of her being there is to get bucky to make amends to the people the winter soldier has hurt in the past. not once does she make it explicitly clear to him that HE is not responsible for any of that. that bucky is not behind all those deaths, that it was hydra who did that. she sends him on a wild goose chase, basically making him feel worse, and the guilt just piles on. her character is good, her execution of how to help bucky is not.

so overall: raynor gets a 3.5/5 stars from me in terms of, okay i see what you’re doing but holy cow marvel you’re going about it the wrong way entirely.

as for dr harrow, again, like i stated before, it’s a little tricky to compare the two because he’s not an actual therapist. his existence stems from marc’s subconscious whilst they are dead so… again: pinch of salt lol

i think, from my own perspective, his portrayal comes across as very authentic. again, marc (nor steven) need to babied. they don’t need to be treated like children because of their mental illnesses. but in this sense, dr harrow does treat marc (and i’m just gonna reference marc since he has the most screen time with him) with a sense of… fragility.

it’s evident that in those scenes, marc is definitely unwell. he’s going through an episode and he’s clearly not at his peak in regards to his mental state. dr harrow doesn’t belittle him, nor is he cruel. he’s gentle and soft spoken because it’s clear he knows what kind of environment marc needs when he’s in this headspace. i actually really loved ethan hawke’s betrayal of this character, it was really interesting and fun to watch, and i think he just really felt like an actual therapist of a mentally ill man, rather than someone pretending to be one.

he engages in marc’s questions or worries. he’s never dismissive however, he gets to the point in telling marc (or jake in this scene, whatever you want) that the things he’s seeing with the hippopotamus is nonsense, and gets him to say it out loud so that he can understand it better. he reiterated that not everything he is seeing is real, and does so by not necessarily talking down to him but just… telling him. talking to him and then parroting back his own statement so that marc can confirm he understands why that is.

he makes a sharp turn though when it’s steven fronting. and again, dr harrow is very calm with him, he’s patient in allowing him to ask questions and then insult him (lol) but when it comes down to his mother, steven starts to panic and dr harrow’s idea of helping him with that is to pretend to call steven’s mother to which it’s just an empty dial tone, and that is the moment steven is confronted with the information that his mother is in fact dead.

now… idk about you but uhhh that would fuck me up pretty badly lmao. if i was under the belief that my family member was alive and well, and this was because of years and years of childhood trauma had caused me to repress that so much (which dr harrow knows) i don’t think it’d be a safe and sensible thing to do that kind of shock/exposure therapy. he very bluntly (but packages it up to look like he’s being nice) forces steven to face the facts that his mother has already passed away, and he’s been essentially lied to. i personally just don’t think that’s a fair way to do it, but understandably a lot of people differ in how they react to certain forms of therapy, and if it works for you then it works, but again, none of this is real and this is just me rambling lol

so in conclusion i think marvel are still figuring out how to write a good therapist. and don’t get me wrong: i don’t think either of them were meant to be necessary “good” therapists, but marvel sometimes think they’re writing a positive character trait when in actuality they’re not and that can blur the lines sometimes as to what their actual purpose is there and what marvel is essentially saying is a good example of therapy, and what isn’t.

this is all just my own personal opinion. im not a therapist and honestly i just make all of this up as i go along but yeah. that’s my babbling done for now :) if anyone has anything else they’d like to add on to this then feel free !! thanks :)

#i think i made a point here somewhere…. #hmmmm #but yeah #neither of them are perfect but i honestly don’t think anything marvel writes is ever intentional lmao #and i think we the fans just kinda of… inject our own thoughts and theories until marvel is like: #YES we meant to do that 🤗🤗🤗 #like um sure jan.. #anyways! i hope this made some sense lol #if not then beat me over the head with a stick and tell me to shut up #cool! #moon knight meta #dr harrow #dr raynor #tfatws #marc spector #bucky barnes #steven grant #arthur harrow #marvel

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[stillagoodwitch]

“who put the baby in charge” but it’s sirius being treated like he’s grown basically from the time he starts speaking

#when i made this account last summer and dumped it after 2 days it was to put my sabrina marauders thoughts somewhere #idk how i got back here and like to the point of never not being here i had midterms in may and was feeling isolated #help #it’s ok i like it here i think there’s no way back now #and when school starts i’ll probably just post more #what was i going to say again #exhale by sabrina carpenter

[fantasykiri5]

What is your favorite SmallishBeans skin?

Absolutely insane of you to think I could ever pick just one. Here’s a small selection in rough order, but I think they shift around day to day

Honorable mentions:

This beekeeper I didn’t know existed until I went looking just now but it very pretty especially with the flowers at the waist

And this guy (bald face looking ass… his regular skin doesn’t even have a beard but this is so uncanny to me… maybe it’s the lack of green in his skin tone paired with the lack of facial hair that scares me. Either he get to be pink or he gets to have a shaved face. Not both. (It is pretty though. I should go look for a link to who make the skin))

#sorry but both mezalia fits are WAY to cunty to not mention #and I really like greaser looks so bad boys Joel is at the top too #enjoy the contrast on the og red skin- he’s the only one that made hair and clothes grayscale too #really makes the red pop #and the Blazeborne fit will always fuck severely you will never change my mind #semi unrelated point: og blazeborne Joel and kind Lin are DEFINITELY the same person #old old guy. same fire guy. change my mind #kiri rambles #joel smallishbeans #I’ve also noticed that with 90% of the skins where he wears a crown it’s always got this hole in the middle? and it shows off his hair and- #-I’d like to think that that’s a piece of hair poking out of the hole like a backwards baseball cap #I would put his regular skin on here somewhere but the limit is 10 I think so I can’t #it’d be fairly middle/high though

[keeps-ache]

HEY

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #oc #pink space #i really like the subtract glitch i've been doing recently - so here's some of that again lol :3 #the way it interacts with their palettes is so fun i like it a lot ehegh :33 #//anyway do you ever consider just tossing out any part the human body you've learned to draw and just drawing dumb little guys with arms #like pipecleaners forever or what hfhs #//oh this is was doobled in traditional originally #i need to digitize more of these. Because #though aura's hair was more extreme in the second panel in that version - i'm tired though and 3 days ago it was the same so no feelings to #change that lol :) #also i didn't shrink the noise enough so it didn't look right - and i was not going to reimport it so Bon Voyage my dude hfhs #was Supposed to fit on a 900x900 canvas but i made the panels a liiiiitle bit too big so it's 950x950 #which is Fine it's a round number but it's not a Round-Round number so [gesturing] #1000x1000 was way too big for this little thing so she sits at a pleasant halfway point :> #//anyway i was also up til 3 a.m. last night doing ?? something ?? i genuinely don't even know what lmfhsbvh #nice though maybe my brain'll get a reset lol :3 #stay up really late some random nights and jumpstart your brain!! it's foolproof!! never fails!! [<- these statements have not been reviewe #by the FDA or the Center for Sleep Control] #//ANywho now i'm going to be on my way #/oh i also forgot to post the oath n aura refs i made for artfight lol- #i'll prolly put those up w/ the kira and hid ones though :>> #i like to have the whole ensemble :D i Do feel bad when one of them gets left out hghsfh - like forgetting a stuffed animal somewhere #even though they're all together for small portion of the story it still feels off lol #i should prolly introduce the rest of the cast at some point. .... ......... ..........hm yea prolly. maybe one day hfhs #//anyway NOW i'm going i've run out of tag space i think hfhs - toodles !! :>

[artinandwritin]

Warm up ideas off the top of my head are Ruff and/or Tuff (bc idk if I've ever seen them in your style?), different outfits for the gang (idk that's what I like to draw fjdjdj), or Bjorn or Eret? I've been writing about them lately and in the mood to draw them myself <3

Gosh those are all so good (you know me I love drawing some good fashion) but!!! I couldn't resist warming up my art hand today with Eret and Bjorn (they're very dear to me) combined with a little facial expressions/facial shape study

Which meant!! I've been staring at their itpn designs for a solid half hour now and i couldn't help but notice the shapes of their furs! Like, for Bjorn it gives him a very boxy and squared feeling, often associated with more grounded characters in character design, while Eret's shapes are more bordering towards triangles, which are often used for a more unpredictable character with dynamic and fast tendencies and I really like that about both their designs

#bjorn really is the most handsomest boi and i love love love his expression here sm #eret is sm fun to draw #did you know i actually drew her once back in 2020? completely forgot to post it #gonna look it up for you haha im sure it's somewhere in one of my old sketchbooks #i think it was in an unfinished comic page i made for one of the first otwd chapters? #can't quite remember #anyway #theyre such fun characters #i love them sm #i'll draw the other options you gave me too at some point!! when i need to do another warm up lmao but i'll be sure to give you a tag! #httyd #how to train your dragon #artinandwritin's art