#i think its really disappointing that the only person i can rely on to not invalidate my sexuality or anyone elses for that matter

[maaaxx]

rant

(i havent overshared on here in a while and i think its about time i do that)

tw/ homophobia and transphobia

being queer in a rural area / area where theres not a lot out other gay people is really weird and really isolating.

yeah its the homophobes and terfs and people telling me about *how the gays are going to hell* and talking about us like we're subhuman without realizing im gay.

but its also the other gay people i've met.

theres this guy that ive been friends with for going on 11 years now (on and off) and he came out to me a year ago just by going "hey did you ever think that i might be gay" and i answered and that was that

months later i came out to him by telling him nonchalantly about my first girlfriend when i was like 13. he tells me about this girlfriend he had a few years prior. he then proceeds to go on this rant about how he's still "completely gay" thought since "she wasn't a real girl". and he goes on about how he thinks that if you date a trans person it automatically makes you pansexual since they "have the parts of a boy/girl even if they aren't one" (talking about how straight men cant date trans girls and still be straight and vise versa and how lesbians "cant" date trans girls and still call them lesbians)

last time i talked to him he was going on about "how women are nowadays" and calling them sluts and being really degrading.

There was a gay bi gender kid who rode my bus who constantly talked about the same stuff.

The first person I've ever came out to irl is one of my best friends recently told me she just "doesnt understand aromanticism" and doesnt think it's a real thing.

I came out to her as asexual about two years ago now and explained to her that i find a lot of aspects of my sexuality confusing but i still really wanted a label and she's the one who suggested i use the label 'queer'

but when i messaged her and told her that i also think im on the aromantic spectrum a few days ago she asked me to explain why and i sent her a whole essay explaining my experiences with romantic attraction for her to tell me she doesnt understand it and doesnt think that that makes me gay.

(like she's fine with asexuality but draws the line at aromanticism)

I also have this cousin whose a lesbian and only shows up like once every five years because of our family. but when she was home for christmas she and her sister went on a tirade about how being gay is fine but trans people are 'imposing on the community'.

i wasnt planning on coming out to her (i dont think ill ever come out to anyone in my family) but i was still sort of excited to see her because i havent talked to her since i came to terms with my sexuality and it just felt nice not being the only gay person in my family (even if i am closeted)

and its really isolating because this is my community. these are the people i have access to that have the most simular experiences and not one is fully accepting of other peoples identities.

every single gay friend i have that isnt aropohobic or transphobic or a misogynist (how tf are you going to be gay and sexist??? make it make sense) is online and my actual community is completely parasocial. i dont think thats healthy.

#tw homophobia #tw transphobia #arophobia #i have this one friend who doesnt know shit about the lgbt community #she doesnt understand sexuality #and shes like this with me being autistic too #like she doesnt understand it in the least bit but she does accept everything with it. #i have never talked to her about the specifics of my sexuality but i have made a backhanded comment about me being confused by it before #and she didnt address it for a while she just kind of dismissed it #but it got brought up really casually in conversation like a month later #idk how to explain it but thats just like what happened #i think she had an 'expirimenting phase' when we were like 12 #but nothing came of it #anywho #i think its really disappointing that the only person i can rely on to not invalidate my sexuality or anyone elses for that matter #doesnt know anything about sexuality #like you would think that the people who go through the same type of unacceptance would be more willing to understand and accept people #but apparently not #if i mentioned anything about asexuality or aromanticism to this one friend she would stare at me like a dear and headlights #i know for a fact shes never heard those terms before #but if id explain them to her she would just be like 'oh okay' and not think more about it

[yanderes-galore]

Sombra needs a yandere alphabet! Please, I'm desperate qwp

Of course! We need more Sombra content anyways ^^ Decided to borrow a GIF off Tumblr this time.

Yandere Alphabet - Sombra

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Manipulation, Breach in privacy/No privacy, Isolation, Kidnapping, Blackmail, Somewhat soft yandere, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Drugging, Possible poor uses of Spanish, Breaking and entering, Forced/Dubious affection, Jealousy, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Sombra is a yandere that knows just about everything about you. She spends the first part of her obsession stalking you and hacking into any personal info she can get. The second half is when she acts on her obsession.

I'd say Sombra's obsession is mostly tame. She's really hard to detect as a yandere at first, right up until it's too late. By the time you know about Sombra she already has you moved to a secure location off the grid.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

I have a feeling Sombra isn't big on being messy. She prefers to keep her hands clean and instead isolates her darling through manipulation and lies.

She's someone to blackmail and threaten others to get her way more than outright murder.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Sombra would make sure the area she keeps you in is isolated yet cozy. No one may be able to find you except her. That way she's the only one you have to rely on.

She sees no need to mock you. She cares for you more than anyone else (She cares for Sigma, but not in the romantic sense). She plans to take care of you and hide you from Talon. If anything, having someone like her on your side should be an advantage.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

She tries not to, Sombra's not a monster (In her eyes). She respects you more than most would. She still treats you like a human even in your new isolated home.

She's just... looking out for you? That's why she keeps you away from others!

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Sombra is rather secretive so she isn't very vulnerable. Although you can tell by the tone of her voice when she talks to you and the gentle behavior of her actions that she cares. She doesn't wish to deprive you of comfort unless she has to.

She may be busy at times due to monitoring many networks and looking for any signs of you being searched for, but she cares. She won't pour her heart out entirely to you but she will indeed show she cares through little actions.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Disappointed and a little amused. She understands your fight, after all she took you from home like some abandoned animal. However... she sees this as just a little hiccup from you.

If you fight her she'll be sure to discipline you afterwards. It's hard to pinpoint her location due to her invisibility tech. She'll just surprise you and restrain you.

"Nice try... better luck next time, eh?"

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Not a game and while she thinks its funny at first, it gets old. She originally thinks it's funny as she knows you can't leave. You won't even know where to go and she wiped any form of ID you had to keep you as hers.

Yet when you keep trying she begins to get... bored.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Sombra is very tame compared to other Overwatch yanderes I've covered, but here's what I think.

The worst experience with Sombra is your abduction. You had no idea you were being tracked or stalked. Right up until she slips into your room.

It's scary as you had no idea of Sombra's existence in your life up until now. Sombra has been watching your life like a hawk, absorbing every little piece of information she can get on you. She's been in the shadows of your life... completely out of sight.

Then she's suddenly in your room, pinning you to a wall with a drug injected in your neck. You don't know who this woman is or why her gaze is so intense. Then when you wake up... expecting it all to be a nightmare...

You wake up in a room with her standing over you, a loving grin on her face.

"Welcome home, cariño."

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Sombra has fallen for you by chance while searching through your files. Part of her feels a need to protect you from the corruption of this world, while another part of her just wants you to herself. She plans to start a relationship with you... even when she keeps you so isolated.

She tries to convince you your love is unique... different from normal... special, even.

It's different from normal alright... yet not in the good way.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

If Sombra is jealous she can hide it well. She tries not to concern you with it and it most likely happens early on in her obsession. If she's jealous of someone she gets to work on finding dirt on them.

Sombra will then use blackmail on those around you to keep them away from you. This makes it easier for her to wipe your presence from the world and isolate you. Then she can simply pluck you away from your old life.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Sombra seems like she could be flirty, teasing, and affectionate with you when she wants. She took you in because she loves you, of course she wants to show that. As a result expect her to show/give affection when she's back from her missions.

She'll kiss you, hold you, cuddle you, etc. She'll try to cheer you up if you seem upset, which you most likely are considering the situation. What's scary is she seems like a genuinely loving girlfriend.

If you met her any other way, maybe that's what you could be.

However... she stalked you, drugged you, and acts like it's all okay. No one else knows about you now. It's just you and her.

She likes it that way.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

As stated before, Sombra's "courting" is primarily just stalking you. She spends her growing obsession gathering all sorts of information, pictures, and videos about you. She even does it all while you are unaware.

If you were also part of Talon, it's a different story. She'd be her usual persona while doing everything behind the scenes.

Again, for the most part you have no clue about her obsession until it's too late.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

I'd say so. She's always been secretive so she can mask her true nature/intentions well.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Sombra isn't too big on punishment. She'd be a yandere who prefers to just lock you in a room more than anything physical. She wants to hear you admit you need her... only then will she let you out. She hates to hurt you though.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Just your freedom, your life can be somewhat normal besides the isolation.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Very patient, it comes with her job.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

She'd have a really hard time, she acts stoic but if you died she'd be devastated.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

A little but no.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Hard to say when it comes to her, maybe curiosity?

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

She tries her best to comfort you. She doesn't want you upset, she wants to love you. As a result she'll pull you in to comfort you.

"There's no need to cry... I'm here."

That's most likely why you're crying.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

She works much more in the shadows than most yanderes/isn't obvious.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

None, she keeps her weaknesses locked up well.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

She tries not to.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not a worship yandere but would go to great lengths to have you in her care.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

A long time. She can wait months to years to strike.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Most likely mentally.

#yandere overwatch #yandere sombra #yandere olivia colomar

[autumnmobile12]

Something I wish had been addressed in My Hero Academia...

Pros and Villains alike underestimating the sheer determination of a Quirkless person with a weapon.

You have Geten monologuing on how only people with a strong Quirk have a place in the world. My dude...I can think of a few people who can absolutely challenge that philosophy.

Crossover insight.

Castlevania: In a world with magic, monsters and spellcasters, Trevor Belmont had no magical abilities, but he didn't let that stop him. Oh, the whips were magic? Support item!

Besides, he didn't use their magic elements most of the time. He puts out someone's eye in Season One and he straight up strangles a guy in Season Four.

Arcane: Ekko. No magic. Just a gravity-defying board, a metal pipe, and a well-time strike. Granted, he wasn't up against a magic user in this scene, but she did have a gun and explosives.

Avatar: And then we have Ty Lee not even hesitating to annihilate an entire group of Earthbenders with nothing more than her chi blocking fists. ATLA had a whole cast of non-benders who were holding their own against the ones with 'powers.'

Sokka

Suki

Asami

Jet

Mai

Moral of the story: Do not mess with the 'Quirkless' people.

...

It really goes to show how heavily the world in My Hero began to rely on powers to the point that anyone born without a Quirk (or a Quirk that was useless) was someone to be pitied.

Honestly, when I first started watching the anime, I was with my sister and she'd already seen it. So by the time we got the part with the Slime Villain and all the Pros not knowing what to do, I just turned to her and asked, "So wait, since Deku has all the knowledge about these Pros, is he just gonna become a master strategist and coordinate an effective attack and save the day?"

And she just looked at me with this sad expression and said, "No, but that would have been really cool."

Even though I enjoy My Hero Academia, faults and all, I will admit that is a small disappointment I'm still not over. And that might be why the Villain Deku AU appeals to me so much personally. It would have been awesome to have a Pro-Hero or a villain who was 100% Quirkless and making it work the best they could.

I mean, imagine anyone of the My Hero cast humbled like that. "Got our asses whooped by a Quirkless fella."

Aizawa's Quirk is virtually useless on its own. That's why he also uses a scarf, a knife, and martial arts combat to fight. Even if he lost his Quirk, he still has a scarf, a knife, and martial arts combat. Not much changes except he now has to adapt his fighting style to finding a different kind of opening to strike.

Touya might've been fine if someone suggested he use a highly-flammable accelerant as support gear. It was only prolonged usage of his fire that seemed to be hurting him.

Deku losing One For All? He was a brain over brawn character-type to begin with, so I genuinely don't see this as a major issue. An issue because losing any abilities sucks, but he's got a legitimate workaround as the strategist.

And if Midnight was going to use a whip...

...why couldn't she have used it like a fucking boss? Alas, we were robbed.

#my hero academia #quirks #quirkless people #weapons #castlevania #trevor belmont #julia belmont #avatar the last airbender #atla #ty lee #arcane #ekko #reference #crossover #castlevania netflix #boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #aizawa shouta #dabi #touya todoroki #midnight

[cosmicjoke]

Hi again,

I haven't had time to organize my thoughts coherently so this might be a bit disorganized, apologies in advance lol.

We all know that Levi takes it upon himself in the AOT universe to be responsible for the lives of others, probably because he's the only one who has the strength he does. But does Levi ever expect others to want to care about their fellow humans' lives (especially those in power)? His own value of life might be so obvious to him, so would he expect others to share his value of life? Whether in AOT universe or in the modern world (if he did live in our modern world and didn't have the superhuman strength he does). I mean, in AOT universe, it's clear he can singlehandedly make significant contributions to saving the lives of others, but in the modern world, most of us obviously just aren't that physically strong and/or have very little actual power or authority on our own to help those who are oppressed, victimized, killed even...in the modern world, it's really a collective effort. Our strength is in numbers. So i guess my question is, would Levi hold that expectation of others in the modern world? Like, what if he was placed in a situation where he didn't have the superhuman strength he does, and has to rely on the goodwill and cooperation and *desire to help* of others in order to help people. He values life immensely, but it's also clear that he realizes that perfect peace in humanity is an unachievable ideal, right? Like human violence against other humans has always been and will always be a thing, both in his universe and ours. So while he probably expects that there will always be people who just want to harm their fellow humans, does he also always expect there to be people who want the opposite?

If he *does* hold that expectation for others, do you think he feels disappointment when he is inevitably let down, and he comes face to face over and over again with the fact that some other people simply do not care for fellow human lives? Or does he just set his expectations for others so low that he thinks it's a default for people to behave in that way? And whenever he does meet someone else who values life as much as he does, it's more like just a pleasant bonus rather than a given?

hopefully any of that word vomit made sense lol

These are great questions you're asking me, haha! So first, let me just say thank you. I really enjoy this sort of conversation about Levi.

It's interesting about Levi, because while he has this great strength, and he utilizes it the best he can to help others, he's still faced, more often than not, with sort of his own sense of helplessness. He often isn't able to save as many lives as he wants to, or make as much change as he hopes. He said something along those lines to Hitch, during the Uprising arc, when she was criticizing the SC for getting so many people killed in Trost while trying to capture Annie. He said "Hmph... It makes me sick. We're all in the dark when it comes to how this world works. Other than the ones in the very center, of course..." So I think, even within the setting of the AoT universe, Levi still feels pretty powerless, the same as he would if he lived in a modern world and didn't have his Ackerman powers. I think that's also pretty evident post time skip, after they've lost Erwin. Levi sees himself as a tool, as a weapon to be wielded by others. That's what he views his strength as good for. For Levi, Erwin was the person he sort of relied on to utilize that strength to its maximum potential, and when he lost Erwin, I think Levi felt a definite sense of directionlessness. He wasn't sure anymore how to use his strength to help others, even as the desire to do so remained just as strong. I think it was similar to how Levi felt when he was living in the Underground. He wanted to help people, but there wasn't much he could actually do. He was trapped in poverty and desperation with everyone else down there, and being physically powerful, while it can help in some things, isn't going to do much when we're talking about social inequality or oppression. Isayama said that Levi came to the surface because he wanted to help people, something he realized he was able to do after Furlan and Isabel came into his life; but his circumstances and status Underground limited his options. He didn't have citizenship, for one thing, so he couldn't officially join any sort of service branch, like the military. So I think Levi was always very familiar, even with his exceptional physical strength, with this feeling of helplessness and powerlessness, and a sense of being unable to do much to help others, despite his desperate wish to.

So, going into what you asked about Levi's expectations of others in that regard, I think Levi definitely WANTS people to care about others and to have the same level of respect and sense of value for life that he does. But that doesn't necessarily mean he expects them to be able to protect life or help others in the same capacity that he does. In fact, I think Levi understands and is sympathetic toward people not being able to do much to improve theirs or others circumstances. During his speech to the 104th during the Uprising arc, he speaks about choosing the hell of people killing each other over the hell of being eaten by titans. What he means by that is that he wants people to have a choice. As things stood then, the people of the walls were essentially living in a giant prison. They were trapped and had no options, no freedom, no choice in how they lived or where they went, and through no fault of their own, through no action on their part. It was just how they were born, the circumstances they were born into. So, yes, while Levi definitely understands and is accepting of human nature, of the violence inherent to human nature, and while I think he understands more keenly than anyone the tragedy and inescapability of that reality, he also believes the way people live should be up to them, and he prefers them having that choice, even if it manifests in violence and killing each other, to them having no choice at all and still dying. He calls both realities hell, but the hell in which people get to at least have a say in what happens to them is better than things happening to them which they have no control over.

Levi himself grew up in an environment which left him with no option but to rely on violence in order to survive. So yeah, I think he definitely understands that sometimes people just don't have a choice and that they can't always do the "good" or "right" thing, according to society, depending on the circumstances. He understands that sometimes you need to kill in order to protect yourself or others. He understands that sometimes you need to steal in order to survive. A lot of the characters in AoT look at morality as a static concept, through a black and white lends. They categorize things in two ways, good and bad, and there is no in between. Levi is one of the only characters that understands the fallacy of that premise. Morality isn't static. It's on a sliding scale and it's complex. What's good and bad, what's right and wrong, depends on the circumstances, depends on the situation. It's not always wrong to kill someone. It's not always wrong to steal. It's not always wrong to use violence. It doesn't always define a person's morality or reflect on their worth as a person if they do something which, within normal society, would be considered "bad" or "illegal". I always talk about how Levi is probably the least judgmental character in AoT, along with probably Armin. Levi never tries to tell anyone what to do or what they should think or believe. He always lets other people come to their own conclusions and choices.

With that said, what I do think Levi wouldn't be accepting of and what would really disgust him in another person is a total disregard for life. And that's why Levi hates Zeke as much as he does. Because Zeke shows, repeatedly, not just a deliberate disregard for life, but he also repeatedly expresses actual pleasure in the taking of it. We see Levi express similar disdain for Eren after the raid on Liberio, when he compares Eren's actions to the scum he grew up with in the Underground. What we know from this is that Levi no doubt witnessed a lot of blatant disregard for life while growing up, a lot of people treating the lives of others as worthless, taking life without needing to, just because they felt like it or because they simply didn't care and were apathetic toward other people's lives, and we also know it's something Levi has always felt disgusted by. So while I think Levi is both sympathetic and empathetic toward people not always being able to act and help others, and also toward them sometimes having to engage in certain types of behavior and actions that society would generally frown upon, what I think he wouldn't forgive and would be extremely judgmental toward is deliberate cruelty, dismissiveness and a contempt shown toward life and what he believes is its inherent value. I think, to Levi, that's unforgivable. So while Levi understands the reality that there will always be people who deliberately want to harm others, and who take pleasure in harming others, that doesn't mean he has to like it or forgive it. He accepts that violence is just a part of the world and a part of human nature, and he accepts and even forgives that people are sometimes forced to violence. What he won't forgive is intentional cruelty and disregard shown toward life.

So I think Levi probably is disappointed in the sense that he wishes things could be better, that people could be better in general, while at the same time acknowledging that this is just the way people are and there's nothing he can really do about it. I don't think he necessarily has low expectations, but I think he's always ready to be faced with the ugly side of human behavior. But still, he'll determine the worth of a person's character based on how much respect they have toward life, I think. Again, if someone shows a blatant disregard for life, or shows they don't value life in a truly meaningful way, Levi's not going to think very much of that person. We see that demonstrated in his disgust, also, for the nobility and their greed and selfishness in how they treat the general populace.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin #analysis #meta #commentary

[gabessquishytum]

I know literally nobody will relate because I've never met anyone who did but... (Trans) Hob who hates receiving oral sex. He just hates it. It's awkward, somehow doesn't feel good no matter how skilled his partner is, the only saving grace is when the person finally adds fingers to the mix. He loves giving oral, so it's not about "I don't want you to do this to me so I don't have to do it to you". He just doesn't want any tongue down there.

When he and Dream finally start sleeping together, he becomes the master of distraction. If it's looking like Dream might go down on him, he quickly finds a way to distract him away from that. But one day, Dream plans to only eat Hob out until he cums multiple times. You know, since Hob had blown him amazingly so many times and he has yet to repay the favour and show off his mind-blowing skills.

Hob has two options. Either he fakes it, or they talk like two adults and he says that he doesn't like it. But these two, talking? Yeah, right. Because Dream obviously must really want this and he'd be disappointed if Hob said no, so Hob will simply grit his teeth and try to enjoy it. Meanwhile, Dream absolutely notices how nervous Hob is. He assumes Hob is self-conscious about something small like his natural scent or how wet he gets. But when Dream finally gets his mouth down there, Hob makes the fakest porn moan and Dream is like o.O da fuq?

Now, we can add even more stupid into the mix and Dream thinks Hob is faking because he doesn't believe that Dream knows how to make him feel good. But I think there has been enough stupid and the two should just talk, and Hob finally tells Dream that he doesn't enjoy this particular activity and maybe Dream could suck his tits and finger him instead?

Anon, thank you so much for sharing this!! I'm quite sure that you're not the only one who experiences this. Preferences during sex are a deeply personal thing and you should never feel weird about what you like or don't like.

Hob really really likes giving oral sex, whatever the gender of his partner. Its something he's good at, that gives him pleasure, and it's something that he's been able to rely on when he's needed to disguise his transness. No need to get undressed if he's going down on someone!

So he feels guilty! Because what if Dream really enjoys giving oral? What if Hob is holding him back from taking his pleasure? He couldn't bear to do that, surely it would be better to... suffer through it, or whatever? To make Dream happy?

These kind of fucked up thoughts obviously show on his face and Dream knows that something is up. He can see Hob overthinking and spiralling. He at least has enough maturity to call time out on the sex - he would rather die than do something to Hob while he's obviously not enjoying himself, Dream is nothing if not a respectful partner. He just wishes that Hob would communicate with him (yes, he's aware of the irony) instead of saying "I'm fine!" And suggesting that they continue.

Dream really has to dig deep, to get the truth out of his lover. Hob doesn't want to admit this weakness, this boundary. He doesn't want to have boundaries with Dream! He wants to give every part of himself...... (when he's says this, Dream points out that Hob isn't being very giving now, is he? Checkmate).

Once he has the truth, Dream is somewhat relieved but mostly he just wants to convey that he doesn't want to do things that Hob won't like! That's literally a turn off for him! He will keep saying it until Hob understands!!!

And then they cuddle a lot and have tea and Hob’s battered, people-pleasing heart gets a little bit healed.

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft

[fluffypotatey]

*kicks down door*

ANY HEADCANONS AND/OR THOUGHTS ABOUT OUR LADY AND SAVIOR MEI DRAGON!?  👀 👀 👀

so

i had a whole fucking list. i was on fire. AND THEN MY PAGE REFRESHED AND NOW ITS GONE T^T

let’s do this one more time:

Mei has a complicated relationship with her family

not that she hates them. no she loves them. truly

but sometimes she wishes she did hate them because maybe she’d be able to stomach their disappointment and disapproval better than she currently does

because while her love for them feels unconditional and on instinct, her parents’ feel like an indefinite list of conditions that Mei will never complete perfectly at the expense of their acceptance of how she lives her life

and it’s not like she’s dependent on their approval, but living in a house that acts more like a museum does a lot on a kid’s psyche when all they want to do is roughhouse and stick their hands in the dirt and paint on the walls

so she learned very quick that her definition of herself did not coincide with her parents. though the unsolicited advice and backhanded comments did enough to cement that

and she did her best to tell herself that her worth does not need to rely on her parents’ approval but the self talk didn’t really improve until she moved out

(personal hc that she moved out of the house after high school because of her feeling stifled at home. she lives in a studio apartment probably. somewhere close where she can work on her bike. mostly bc idk the vibes i got from 1x03 was that she only ever visited home when her parents ask her to house sit now. like they’re all avoiding the huge issue and the parents maybe realize that Mei needs her space, so think that asking her to house sit helps keep that distance and gives Mei her agency. idk that’s what i personally gathered)

also her social media fame can be pointed to her posting updates and trio videos of her working on her bike and implementing ways to incorporate her own magic into it

(there are so many trial videos of her trying to find a way to make her magic compatible with the bike. every new trial is Mei being like “ok so THIS time we won’t mess with the engine but what about the wheels :3”

eventually, the trial videos are just her live streaming and you can see a scrawl of comments of unsolicited advice, people being like “Mei’s at it again”, or just bets on the trial’s success)

with her claim to fame, Mei used to to help give her some interest in being selected for races (which she excels at)

she also branches out from just showing her workshopping on her bike. she does gameplays, react videos, and fashion videos

she meets MK at a Monkey Mech tournament

they play against each other in the semi-finals and Mei ends up winning the tournament but the two clicked so well that MK invited her over to Pigsy’s Noodles to celebrate and they have been inseparable since

also, last one:

Mei had admirable the dragon sword king before it ever chose her

it held so much history for her clan. it was held by heroic ancestors that Mei has looked up to since she was little. and she had longed to hold it since the first day her parents showed it to her

and then it chose her. it found her worthy to be the next wielder. it thought she was deserving enough to be someone the clan could depend on to protect them. that her distaste in the sterile walls and floors was not a dealbreaker, or her passion for things on the opposite side of what her parents wanted from her was okay enough

and that all i have rn off the top of my head. i love her <3333

#lmk #lmk mei #asks #lego monkie kid #the keep reading button was always there what you mean?

[novelconcepts]

Hi, Novel! I noticed on my most recent rewatch that each of the girls tends to use slightly different pronouns when referring to their future selves. Erin uses mostly "you" or "she", KJ uses almost only "she" (a couple of "I"s when she was trying to tell Mac that she thinks she's gay), Tiffany uses "we" a whole lot, and Mac constantly uses "I". Do you have any thoughts on this? I have many feelings about it, but I can't words very well.

For me, it’s a really fascinating way of showing without telling how these girls view the future. Erin flatly refuses to believe she will become Adult!Erin; she’s disappointed by every step that version of her has taken, so she distances from it as much as she can. Adult!Erin is another person with whom to interact or remember; she isn’t Erin. Even when she starts to like her, Erin sees her as a separate person; “god, please let there be four of us”. She never entirely feels like they’re the same person.

KJ is the same. She’s avoiding being boxed in by her potential future, right down to literally running away from it, so that version of her is Another KJ. The difference is, she isn’t disappointed by that woman, exactly; she’s equal parts entranced (film school, a great eye, a director) and terrified (kissing a girl, how does she know, how do I know). So she speaks of her in cautious ways, like you might speak of an older sister—learning from her without being ready to be her. (The “I” is really deliberate here; she knows that she IS gay, she’s making peace with that, that part does belong to them both already, even if it scares her.)

Tiff uses “we” constantly because she is, at least at first, really pleased with most of what she sees. Yeah, she’s still in Stony Stream, and her hair is strange, and she’s dating a loser, but she went to MIT. She was valedictorian. She’s clearly a genius, and she’s a cool genius. By the time she gets really frustrated with Adult!Tiff’s failings, she’s already locked into the mindset that they are the same person. She’s trying to use “we” to coax the grown version of herself back to what she views as the light. (Plus, Tiff is easily the one of them to best understand time travel and its implications—it’s why she goes on to invent it. So for her, yeah, it’s we. It always was going to be, even in 2019.)

And Mac. Mac has no other version. No mirror to look into and be delighted or disgusted. She only has herself, and her brother’s memories, and flowers on a gravesite. There’s no “she” because by 1999, “she” is long dead. Mac isn’t. Mac is still very much alive: angry and scared and dealing with her feelings. There is no “we”; there never was. She doesn’t get that opportunity. And if you want to be really brutal about it: Mac probably never felt like she could be anything other than “I” even before time travel. She protects herself so completely that she doesn’t know how to let someone else in. She has herself to rely on, no one else. The only time she references herself, thinking she has a future before Dylan tells her the truth, she still says I…because, for her, anyone she would become is the escape she’s dreamed of her whole life. I did it. I got out. Until, of course, she finds out she doesn’t.

#ask #paper girls #paper girls spoilers #this show is so fucking good. and clever. and careful. #who do you accept being. how do you show that. how do you depict a fight against something that is right in front of you. #you can’t tell these kids who to be #they have to choose #Erin chooses to let her adult self closer but not in #KJ chooses to observe from afar. study how she feels compared to what she sees. figure out what clicks on her own. #Tiff chooses to embrace all her successes and try to fight her elder self out of failure #Mac chooses to let someone else in. it can’t be herself—but she still chooses not to be alone #in telling KJ and then eventually the others she’s finally accepting that she can be more than just ‘I’ #a!gen!cy! #it’s the fucking name of the game in this adaptation

[cripple-council]

6h late to the rant but OH GOD this is gonna be a nightmare of a semester from gym class alone

yesterday (monday) I was tryna participate in gym class cuz despite being disabled I typically don't mind most gym activities, but heres a thing with whatever specific chronic pain I have: I won't realize I pushed my physical breaking point until it's way too late. Like I'll be chilling and then suddenly the worst migrane will hit, followed by my entire body simotaniously wanting to spasm and being unable to move due to the intense pain. To the point that when I asked the gym teacher to sit out (which he let me do no problem cuz he knew my issues) I could barely walk to the outside of the gym (where my friends were cuz one was recovering from a panic attack) and once I got out there I was basically unable to move due to a mix of having to stand still as for my body to not completely go haywire and because more movement = more pain. At some point both me & the friend who was sitting out cuz panic attack both ended up laying on the floor cuz they were lightheaded and my body was about to either go haywire or tense up enough to where I couldn't move so I wanted to atleast be on the ground just incase, and while the friend who was lightheaded got actual help from the 2 other friends sitting out for no reason I was just given a bunch of shitty jokes and sarcastic "are you okay?"s and after admitting that I genuinely wasn't okay (as if me going on about the fact that my body was doing everything wrong at once wasn't a major hint that HEY I WASN'T FINE.) the only one who rlly stepped up to help me was the friend I was the closest too and she helped me sit up and attempted to get a tylenol from the office for me (couldn't because I had to be there to get it. bad thing to say when the "I" in question is currently unable to walk but that secretary just seems to want me dead for being crippled anyways) while the other 2 friends were too busy making jokes abt how they wanted to fuck eachother to even glance over at me. Fastforward a bit and gym ends, gym teacher helps me stand up, friend who had to sit out cuz of a panic attack talks to gym teacher abt stuff I didn't care to eavesdrop on and I barely manage to get in and out of that changing room. my body still feels like its pain-burning (like. its almost like a burning feeling but without the heat and just the pain) today and I'm debating just missing school today cuz of this. fuck my dumbass body's inability to know when to stop until its too late and fuck Kat & Quade who couldn't get their eyes off eachother for a second to try and give a shit about another human being

honestly can’t really imagine what it’s like to have ablebodied friends as a physically disabled person, well i have one but they’re incredibly helpful, and it must be so disappointing to have your ‘friends’ ignore you like that. i’m truly sorry that you had to experience that & you deserve so much better.

you truly think that your friends will be there, and when they’re not, it’s really hard to grasp honestly. like, do you not care?? (you as in the friends).

i’ve had many one sided friendships where i’ve had to do all the work, while getting nothing in return myself. it truly feels like a betrayal.

i’m incredibly happy to be surrounded by physically disabled friends, because in a special way, i can ALWAYS rely on them. there are days where their issues are worse than mine, or they are hindered by their physical disability so they can’t help with something; but they will always think about how they can help in case they can’t help in a specific way. it’s just a completely other experience than with able bodied ppl.

i truly hope you’ll get surrounded by more physically disabled people in your life, it’s a game changer.

much love to you, and i with a low pain/symptoms day for you! (and otherwise, the ability to manage the pain/symptoms)💚

#ask

[prettyboykatsuki]

you know. this is tumblr. so there are probably one hundred different posts analyzing lain but i do have a specific love for it. it had a really great impact on me in the same way psycho pass did - in that it was one of the first series in my life that made me interested in the relationship between technology and material life.

serial lain is more than anything is like anime if it were rotting metadata if that makes any sense..

what i like about lain most is the way it handles the theme of distortion in respect collectivism and technology. lain as a characters personality being so individual and yet utterly indistinguishable among peers really plays into the ending of the series. she is so integrated into society by being undetectable she is stand out and completely isolated because of it. lain as a person through the course of the series becomes completely indistinguishable from the Wired itself - which is meant to be the culmination of every line of communication in the world. she both controls reality and is reality. but in that revelation and her introspection, she returns to existence outside of it and above. despite this power, her isolation as lain and existence is inescapable. she decides its not what she wants.

serial lain itself focuses on challenging the fabric of its existence. it relies on powerful visuals and audience engagement to distinguish that definition and. a lot of people find that the clear ending of lain is a disappointment compared to the cerebral quality of the series but i disagree. to me it represents that lain is only able to escape isolation through returning to her reality and distinguishing for herself what is important, just like it asks the audience to do so many times over.

what makes it good in my opinion is that the series reliance on mistrust and unreality reflects it's major messages and themes perfectly. lain is a commentary on the relationship between humanity and technology, the unfathomable distortion between whats real and whats not. it forces you as the audience to sift through the varied and conflicting information for yourself. what is real and what is not? how do you define 'reality'? these questions make the series so specifically special imo, because there is no way to get any really satisfaction the conclusion regardless of your opinion of it. i think that 'cowardice' or lains dejection from taking that great power too is really reflective of how tech can be great in providing escapism but cannot save you from the challenges of real emotions related to regret and sadness.

idk where to go w this. i love you serial lain

#aristotle.txt

[foxisscared]

A Meaningful Conversation

Gale Dekarios x Tiefling!Oc!Tav

A/N:Hi,so I have no idea what I'm doing, but I thought I'd give this a try with my Tav. His name is Amadius and he's a Tiefling Barbarian. Also I'm still trying to get a feeling for Gale's character so if you have any pointers please feel free to comment

Amadius was never one for idle company. He was not one for company at all, used to only relying on himself and not staying in one place long enough to forge meaningful relationships. Which is why this group unsettled him and the fact that he was automatically made leader further unnerved him. He was not used to having to care for this many people before and it showed. Even though he was considered their leader Amadius kept to himself, avoiding unnecessary chatter amongst party members, but there was one person who caught his eye.

The silly little wizard named Gale of Waterdeep who often chatted at him about things Amadius didn't quite understand, something Amadius didn't mind quite as much as he thought he would. He'd even come to expect the conversation, dare he say happily anticipated them. Today was no different Gale and Amadius sat around the campfire while Gale was cooking, Amadius looking brooding as always.

"Amadius, are you paying attention?" Gale asks as Amadius looked like he'd zoned out.

"Yes Gale, I am listening. I believe you were talking about certain incatricies of the weave, not that I understand any of it but I do find it quite interesting" He says, still not looking at the man. Gale looked surprised that anyone much less a barbarian such as himself was actually paying attention to him.

"I'd be more than happy to explain it to you. I can't remember the last time someone actually sat down and listened to what I have to say" Gale said with a chuckle but immediately quieted down noticing Amadius' far away look. "Are you okay Amadius?" He asked. "Far be it of me to demand you tell me what's wrong but I am here to support you" He said causing visible hesitation to form on Amadius' face

"Uhm... Its nothing, Gale. Its just very overwhelming going from living on your own for 20 years to leading a group of 6 people to defeat a world ending evil. I'm not used to this many people, much less leading them. I was never one for being emotionally invested and now I fear I'm more emotionally invested than ever" He says with vulnerability that seemed quite out of character for him

"Being on your own for 20 years sounds quite lonely" Gale says softly, looking at Amadius with a look Amadius couldnt quite place.

"Yeah well, that's just how things are. You go through life, prove your worth to those around you, and if you don't, you die alone. Once you disappoint enough people, you learn when to stop being a nusiance and just leave" Amadius said so casually it caught Gale off guard.

"Oh... Well... I am sure you'll prove more than valubale to our party, then there's no way you'll have to leave." Gale said awkwardly, causing Amadius to scoff and smile softly

"One can only hope." Amadius said softly glancing at Gale with an uncharacteristically soft smile. He really did hope he could prove useful, despite his best efforts he was growing quite attached to this little party and didn't want to disappoint them.

"Well... Enough depressing things for tonight, how about I finish up dinner and we eat around the campfire?" Gale says after clearing his throat as he went back to stirring the pot causing Amadius to chuckle.

"Yeah, lets do that... Then you can finally finish explaining the weave to me. Which by the way I still don't understand and I don't think I ever will understand" Amadius says causing Gale to laugh.

"Well that's what I'm here for, my friend" He said, and when the word friend left Gale's mouth, something melted in Amadius, causing him to tear up just the slightest.

"Yeah... I'd like that" Amadius said softly with a smile.

#gale dekarios x tav #gale dekarios x oc #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction #tiefling tav #bg3 tav oc #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 gale #gale of waterdeep #gale of waterdeep x tav

[vergess]

this is a personal af question that you do not need to answer publicly or at all esp. bc its for fanficish writing purposes but anyway so like how DO you, personally at least, deal with episodes of psychosis? because google tells me that the go to needs to be antipsychotics but 1. the context is a character who does not have regular access to them anyway 2. every one i have looked at has GOD AWFUL PERMANENT SIDE EFFECTS that seem to be almost guaranteed to happen? and my doctor oc would not subject that to anybody. the usual psychosis symptoms i write in my current rps are post-ictal and postpartum psychosis specifically because getting information about that from people who actually HAVE THE CONDITIONS is easy, and there seem to be other methods of dealing with them without antipsychotics (plus, you know, magic dnd for one, and pokemon psychic bs for the other) but finding information on how people with other forms of psychosis (in this case, schizotypal ftr) deal with it from their own perspective is almost impossible? it's ALL ableist bullshit from doctors which is why i am hesitant to trust the idea of "antipsychotics are the only way" :/ even reddit is not helpful here lol and i want to get this right? i know it's just tumblr rp/ao3 fanfic/discord rp that nobody important will read but me and my friends are trying to NOT be ableist shitbags on purpose you know?

Boy I really just don't answer tough asks over the winter months, huh.

I started keeping a closer eye on how media that I otherwise recommend depicts psychosis since getting this ask, and I'm disappointed to announce that over the last two months only two (2) pieces of media have been Normal About Psychosis.

So, the first thing to remember when writing a Psycho is: WE ARE WHOLE ASS ADULTS WITH ADULT BRAINS OKAY, we're not small children lost in a fantasy. We're not violent monsters out for blood. We are people who sometimes see, hear, etc things that aren't really there.

Writing a psychotic character competently isn't about curing them, or even about reducing their symptoms. It's about showing how they cope with those symptoms while carrying on with their daily lives.

I'm currently on the lowest possible dose of antipsychotic right now, and I will say two things about that. 1) the meds make reality checks and other coping skills MUCH more effective. 2) Even at a low dose, abstract and creative thinking are hindered. I don't feel hindered; but I have a 24 year long writing portfolio that says I sure as shit am hindered.

Whether a character will benefit from going on meds is going to be a balancing act. But since you aren't actually looking for meds advice, lets talk about those Other Coping Skills.

Broadly, I would split my skills into three categories: stuff for hallucinations, stuff for delusions, and stuff for dissociation.

So, first off, reality checking is my #1 go to for hallucinations.

You pick this skill up pretty quickly as a kid; everyone does. The difference being that where a non-psychotic person eventually gets to stop relying on others to tell them what is real, we get to keep on asking forever.

It's actually super exhausting to be in a crowded space because most of the nonverbal cues you come to rely on (eg, no one else flinched so that noise probably wasn't real) become INSTANTLY useless. Every noise, movement etc may of may not be real, and your only option is to either gauge other people's lack of reaction, or ask someone you trust for a reality check.

Sounds like an easy way for an abusive shit to control your entire life with no effort? It is!!

THAT'S WHY PSYCHOTIC PEOPLE ARE WAY MORE LIKELY TO BE ABUSED THAN THE GENERAL POPULATION.

Once you know if something is real or not, you can decide to ignore it. Like ignoring anything obtrusive, this is easier if you are in a good mood, physically comfortable, etc. An absurd amount of "coping with psychosis" is just constantly monitoring yourself and others to make sure you are reacting to the right things at the right volume.

Ignoring something that your brain insists is real and a threat is very tiring, so there's also a lot of sleeping.

Delusions are significantly harder to manage than hallucinations, IMO. Not just because, as a multiply marginalized person there are myriad ways that an ambiguous "them" is actually trying to ruin my life for real. Being on terror watchlists due to racism REALLY makes it IMPOSSIBLE to manage my paranoid delusions because some of the more insane shit is just real.

But there are other delusions that are easier to handle. Mostly, this comes down to self monitoring again. I can take an extra second to ask myself, "hang on, statistically speaking, how likely is it that this total stranger ACTUALLY wants to kill me?" The answer, of course, is "violent crime has been trending down for years, and everyone in this area thinks I'm white as long as I don't go outside during the summer, so I'm safe."

It's all about finding the information that helps keep you calm.

Because the absolute certainty that this is a murderer and you are walking into the slaughter will not go away. You just... take it on faith that this time will turn out as safely as the last 399 times.

It's just a shitload of observation, mimicry, and forcing myself to do things that feel dangerous by reminding myself that they aren't.

That shit sounds simple, but it's a CONSTANT fight; it never really gets easier, you just get used to it.

Which brings me back around to my meds again: I think I prefer it this way. My writing sucks, and I keep crying when I read it because it's wrong, it sounds like a field amputation. But god, I went to a cafe during the morning rush a few days ago, and the overload of noise and data only left me bedridden for ONE day. ONE!!! Not a WEEK!

Maybe losing my only art is okay in light of how much less bad things are.

Anyway, I can't remember the name of the 2014 short story about the One Person With Psychosis being wrongfully shunned by her colony because she doesn't feel affective empathy, in spite of her constant and perfectly reasoned moral code ensuring she is, if anything, the least dangerous person in town. I wish I could remember it!! It's a good example!!!

I haven't read it yet, but people I love and trust seem to generally agree that the psychosis in Harrow the Ninth is well written, too, so maybe check that out IDK

#answered asks #myfriendskickass

[allsadnshit]

I think part of the reason I have had such a hard time emotionally processing the ends to a lot of the relationships that I had is that I have a really difficult time holding boundaries, and everyone who used to be in my life knew that well and took full advantage of it. I can be really explosive and decisive, but I tend to not follow through or hold onto those ideas even when are raw and fueled by a lot of personal meaning. I struggle to assert and believe myself, and although my sense of self is strong I am easily persuaded because I also feel deeply empathetic and genuinely forgiving. it’s like I used to constantly recognize the way the people in my life didn’t honor our relationship or my boundaries and they knew, and i knew, that no matter how upset i got i always ended up softening because I wanted to be an understanding person. I wanted to be what I wanted to see in the world, but to a point where it wasn’t healthy and I was self sacrificing in situations where I needed to have honored myself and my own peace.

Something changed in me when I got really sick. When things ended or catastrophic relationship shifts occurred, I suddenly couldn’t allow myself to push forward anymore. I don’t know if it was inner strength, or because I was finally too tired to keep giving myself to anyone who asked. The people in my life even expressed how surprised they were I was standing firm on my choices, and not looking back. It was something they hadn’t seen me do, and something I had forgotten I even knew how to do. I am someone who gets really wrapped up in wanting to be liked, and when I hit that breaking point with myself something snapped and my self sacrificing nature dissipated quietly and everyone wondering where it went. I didn’t realize how much my relationships had been relying on this part of myself that could be swayed simply by the passing of time wearing down my resolve, or nostalgia begging me to take a harder look at the good times before making a decision about the bad.

I don’t think its about which version of me is “better”. It’s about how those version of myself and their key difference drastically changed what my standards for love were, inward and outward. It felt like the people who had relied on my flimsy sense of boundaries were throwing temper tantrums when I would do things as simple as hold onto a “no” that they used to be able to wait out. I didn’t become an angrier person, I didn’t say anything harsh just to hurt some feelings. I actually mostly felt disappointed seeing so many of my relationships unravel at the first sign of consequence. I hadn’t realized how reliant my friends were on me changing my mind any time they nudged me hard enough in the direction they wanted me to go.

Deep down I think my mind body and soul knew I couldn’t take it anymore. I think it was something born out of necessity, not bitterness or anger. I was cracking and it just hit me after enough pain that it was my own approach to those relationships that was upsetting me the most. My friends had always been the way they were, we all have faults and we knew that. But it was my decision to learn about self love and how we can’t trick ourselves into happy relationships that flipped a switch in my mind. If someone explains themselves and it doesn’t make any sense, that’s it. It never was my job to keep twisting myself trying to make everything work when it didn’t. I knew it was me who had changed, not them, because of how they looked at me surprised when “no” stayed “no” even was time passed and they lashed out in anger, sadness, and everything in between.

I used to think I had to show so much rawness to convince anyone of how I felt and what I needed. When I realized that I was the only person who had to be convinced, it made everything weirdly straight forward. It’s like the idea of “let people misunderstand you if that’s what they are set on doing”.  I have always felt so uncomfortable with being disliked or misrepresented that I would ignore my own boundaries and needs to better fit with the people around me and it was just as abruptly shocking to me as it was to them when I finally stopped and was unable to keep squeezing myself into the space they made for me and I had always accepted.

How I treated myself was my problem, and it was everyone else’s solution. It is up to me to learn from these experiences, and no one has to be happy for me. But it is a really strange feeling. I honestly hope everyone gets to have it.

[animehouse-moe]

Zom 100 Episode 2: Bucket List of The Dead

Is this second episode a good episode? Yes. Does it live up to the example of the first episode? Definitely not. Does this mean it'll be a letdown of a season? Most likely not. BUGS FILMS is still early on, and there's of course bumps in the road, but as I'll explain through this post, it points to smoother roads ahead if the right steps can be taken.

I think the most telling piece of the limitations of BUGS as a studio is their re-use of animation. It's not terrible, rather it's pretty efficient in most cases. I don't really think most will catch onto it in the episode, but I do think people will catch it in the opening which is more egregious. I get it, it's a great place to have that overlap in terms of quality, but doing it that way you greatly lessen the impact of both.

In better but disappointing news though, Shaft is going to be working with BUGS for the remainder of the series. I was hoping to see their solo effort, but I also don't mind them partnering with Shaft. The latter being a studio that has struggled on recent projects, I feel like a cooperative effort that supports a new studio is a good opportunity for Shaft to deliver on some quality work under the creative vision of Kawagoe. Also of note, they did not work on this episode, they only appeared in the credits.

Anyways! The episode itself. Today's episode director, under Kawagoe, has a very strong sense of direction, which starts off with a well done nightmare sequence for Tendo. Though I say well done, I also think that considering the first episode (and the fact that it's a dream), there's a world's worth of creativity left behind in it. Good ideas in its execution, but great ones left behind because of it.

Now that we're into the episode, let's talk about the strong sense of direction that consistently leaves stuff on the table in full. First person perspective is what we awake to from the dream, and remains a key aspect of the episode at large. I think there's a lot of cases of it being well used in the episode, but I also believe that it's borderline overused and suffers from a lack of purpose at times while underdelivering. Take the first first person scene, for example. Rather than using the established format of letterboxing to tie Tendo to his past, they use a less-than-stellar vignette in its place.

Another piece of direction that remains apparent through the episode is close-ups. While it's more facilitated by limitations than creativity, I actually found it better used on average for stronger direction than the first person perspective. Take a look at this example of Tendo stepping onto his balcony. With the close-up, the focus is on the movement of his feet between the boundary of inside and outside, of the space between his literally nightmarish past and his ever bright future.

Even though we're only a little bit into the episode with these clips, I think my explanations do a good job of generalizing both my praise and complaints at large. Ambitious ideas that end up more often than not underdeveloped and over-used, leading to less weighty and valuable execution overall. There's obviously great moments, but they're also clearly weighed down by limitations and experience across several fronts.

Speaking of limitations, I feel obligated to sing my praise for the work of BUGS in delivering such a "full" zombie experience. Their compositing work with 2D and 3D in the episode is so well done that you won't even notice the CGI zombies unless you're specifically looking for them. Great and seemless experience that's wonderfully full of the Undead. Also funny zombie face.

Speaking of comedy, the first proper critique of the episode. I think a lot of the humor ends up falling flat. It's a delayed and often deadpan execution that relies on setup and perfect timing to be well done, and I just feel like BUGS hasn't really gotten down that expression with this episode. It's not some cardinal sin by any means, but can very quickly dampen the enjoyment of the episode for some. Hopefully they'll figure it out, but translating static humor to a moving scene with sound isn't the easiest thing in the first place.

What does seem to be easy though is how BUGS works around their limits. I said this about the zombies already, but whether the direction is built around the limits or vice versa, they do a great job of using the former to mask the latter. Of course, it leads to what I said earlier, but it's far better than rushes work. And truthfully, it does look rather good.

So while I've talked about limitations this far, the episode isn't completely devoid of quality animation or effort. Though it's a few minutes ahead, it's still a very well done scene that shows there's quality animators involved in the project. I just wish we might see a little more of this, but I won't complain so long as the overall work remains solid.

Alright, last piece here we come. Close-ups remain throughout the episode and end Tendo's screen time here very well. Using the experiences of his day, he comes home to write his bucket list of things to do, and BUGS does some wonderful work through the tight focus on pen strokes in the sequence. While it can become excessive rather quickly due to how much we see up close and personal, it's hard to stay frustrated or disinterested in it thanks to how well done it is.

And even though there's time on the episode, this is where we end with it, as we pick up a different character's perspective to rehash much of the same of what I've talked about here.

I think the episode is still worthy of praise, I also think it's far more indicative of the quality and execution we'll get from this series, but at the end of the day it will ultimately remain a promise of what BUGS FILMS wants to do. How hard they want to push boundaries, what they want to give to viewers. It's the sort of disappointment you express in someone that you know can do better, not something inherently sad, but rather hopeful that they can find the tools and experience to succeed in the way that they should. I don't forsee BUGS making incredible leaps with this series alone, but I see it as a near surefire success for them that will help build the foundation of their studio for the coming years, and that really, really excites me.

#zom 100: bucket list of the dead #zom 100: zombie ni naru made ni shitai 100 no koto #Zom 100 #bugs films #zombie anime #anime recommendation #anime review #anime and manga #horror anime #anime #comedy anime #ゾン100～ゾンビになるまでにしたい100のこと～

[thewickerking]

sorry for the essay in your asks I’m just studying child development/psych and I Have Thoughts

nonono ur so fine! i enjoy conversing abt it :] im a psych major so were in similar boats! i keep being disappointed in my fellow students ways of talking about children, especially in childhood development focused classes, and there was a particular instance i will never forget of describing a a case study of a young child who was being violent to others, and the first and only question another student asked being "is this disorder often found in serial killers? cause this sounds like what ive heard abt serial killers" and my jaw fucking dropped. I was wearing a mask so no one really noticed but MY first reaction to the case study was "hey a lot of these behaviors were present in MY BROTHER and while he's doing a lot better i wonder if there's anything i can learn from this study that might help him" and we didn't get even close to that. i didn't need psych classes to be appalled at the way adults think of and treat children, but it was certainly not fun. these things are also deeply personal to me because of my own violent behavior as a child due to an amount of trauma that would easily quadruple the length of this post. luckily for me, my mother had similar experiences and reactions to them, and was able to meet me where I was at and found outlets for energy and stress even before she knew about all of the things that were happening to me. getting into martial arts (and later therapy) was not a cure all but was incredibly effective in stopping me from attacking other children and feel more capable of expressing what i was feeling. I was still a kid so its not like i became perfect lmao but it helped a lot. my mom didn't have the same treatment and to this day will get comments about people who knew her as a child that are "just glad she's not a serial killer" and it very much affects her to this day. i know friends who have been told BY TEACHERS that they seem like they could be a serial killer when they grow up. my uncle, who died by suicide, was the son of a serial killer and his family refused to raise or help him because they were afraid he'd "turn out like his father" of whom he never met due to being born in prison. in turn he was extremely abused by the foster care system and relied on intensely unhealthy coping mechanisms and struggled to raise his children and died as their sole provider and leaving them behind. My brother has also displayed violent behavior and made violent threats to other people and struggled with a lot of things because of that. people frequently express they're glad he's not in prison. i may have clung to specifically the serial killer comments a bit longer than necessary because of personal association, but while it's something i study, it's also deeply close to home, and i know how awful long terms affects can be. while that context is not necessary to know why i care so heavily about this, it does make insensitive off hand comments from my alleged peers cut deep.

SORRY this got tangenty and heavy and complaining abt psych majors is not targeted towards u anon lol its just exhausting to have been around unforgiving teachers and adults and seeing its negative affects on me, my family, and my friends, and then seeing similar mindsets in my generation that claims to want to be better than our predecessors. psych is genuinely interesting to me, and due to my early intervention and good luck with therapists, ive seen what benefits people can glean from experiences with the psychiatric field. unfortunately, ive also seen countless ways its failed countless people, and being able to see the start of harmful thinking in my peers makes it incredibly difficult to be optimistic and also pisses me off lmao. as much as this is my choice of career and it matters to me, there are extremely harmful ideas that make up the foundation of modern (and obviously past) psych and seeing people take this at face value makes me spectacularly miserable. 🫠🫠 but its very nice (and refreshing) to talk to other ppl abt these topics from a shared pov that kids aren't evil. Which sounds so much simpler and more common than it actually is 😮‍💨

#rhis got so off topic its kind of embarrassing for me but um yeah. i like talking abt these things a lot :] #asks #anonymous #suicide mention #ask to tag further!! im saying this a lot lol but this is heavy stuff

[autismvampyre]

https://www.tumblr.com/autismvampyre/741462958593441792/hate-how-its-practically-impossible-to-find-anti?source=share

I saw this post and I couldn't agree more and Im asking anonymously cause I don't want to get judgement and stuff and I know this is going to sound a little dumb but I'm having a crisis about like. Whether or not I should support Taylor anymore like. Im going for the eras tour soon and I'm obviously really really excited but I've been seeing more and more anti swiftie media and it all really makes sense. Your blog was like the only anti swiftie one that didn't say all swifties deserve to die lol (at least from what I could find) but I just wanted to know if you have any advice on like letting go of the music in a way. I love her music, and one of the reasons I'm really scared to let go is that my childhood best friend and I share so many precious memories over her music and I don't want to disappoint her in a way by not listening anymore and her music helped me through really really hard times, which feels kind of dumb to say cause I'm 15, but like it's always really helped me and I don't know if I can or if I want to let go but at the same time I'm huge on ethics and a big part of my life has always been helping people and empathizing, and I just don't know if I want to support an artist who can't seem to publicly do that. Idk I was just wondering if you had advice? Thank you so much :)

P.s. feel free to ignore this ik it's loaded and not related to your blog entirely

hey! thanks for the ask. i wanted to respond to this before i forgot so this might be rushed but i hope i can still help.

i get your dilemma, i really do. i like her music a lot and one of the worst things about the anti swiftie community is how much it relies on the "her music sucks" card. its lazy and just personal taste, and i absolutely hate the puritanical idea that if you enjoy a single taylor song you are in some way morally lesser. people like what they like, and i think it's completely fine to enjoy her music because that isn't really an ethical concern

you can separate the art from the artist. its fine to do so. you shouldn't force yourself to stop listening to music you like unless you feel thats right for you. im very critical of taylor but i still occasionally listen to her music because there are a lot of memories attached to it and those memories are precious to me. art can make you feel so much, and you're not dumb for feeling comforted by it.

i dont think you have to let go of her music unless you want to. i believe the most important thing is to let go of the idea of taylor as a brand. people tend to get attached to her due to clever marketing; to a lot of people she's their friend and they feel very protective over her for that. taylor thrives off the parasocial relationship of her fandom which is financially beneficial to her. the most important thing to remember is that she is a billionaire with more money than you could ever imagine and it is impossible to get that rich without fucking over the poor. the image of taylor in the media is not real, she isn't the girl next door, she isn't your friend, she's an ultra rich celebrity who gets richer by pretending to be your buddy. once you've realized that, you're pretty much done

now, i definitely wouldn't recommend financially supporting her. if you're going to the eras tour don't go alone, be safe, wear earplugs(seriously this one is so important you dont want tinnitus believe me). i know there are a lot of different factors and ethics about the shows but as someone who a) hates live music cause im autistic and just end up overstimulated and b) was never in a financial situation where i could or even would buy eras tickets i feel very under qualified to tackle any of that so i'd recommend talking to someone else who knows about that.

to end, i'll just say piracy isn't theft if buying isn't owning snd there are guides out there so you can listen without paying her dime. sorry if this was incoherent, i am tired. have a good rest of your day/night/whatever time it is and please take care

#asks #nydias post #anti taylor swift #anti swifties #you can always send me another ask of message if you have more questions

[kryptonitecore]

Re-Read: Transformers: Primacy

Primacy is a bit of a disappointing way to end this trilogy, as I think it’s the weakest part - it continues some of the ideas of Autocracy and Monstrosity, but what really killed it for me was the characterisation. The challenges to Optimus’ character are rapidly eroded, but it’s Hot Rod/Rodimus and Megatron who are really in trouble.

Hot Rod shows up, having apparently completed Autobot training in the background, and is now completely and unambiguously in support of Optimus. Any skepticism regarding the Autobot cause and its connections to the old Senate have disappeared while he was off page, and his actively Decepticon-leaning sympathies have also disappeared right along with it. In fact, to prove that Hot Rod has moved on, there is a brief and mostly one-sided confrontation with Slinger, his friend and one of the few survivors of Nyon, who has recently joined the Decepticons. Rather than dig into this, the writer makes Slinger abruptly hostile and he disappears from the book until he can be brought back for a death scene where he confesses how wrong he was. (Slinger and Fasttrack can both join the ‘former friend to Decepticon to corpse’ club!). Facetiousness aside, I think the real issue was the feeling that this story wanted Hot Rod to be a different kind of character than Autocracy and Monstrosity had created - for example, pairing up Grimlock and Hot Rod as grizzled veteran and inexperienced, optimistic kid just does not work for me considering Hot Rod’s past as an insurgent, everything that happened to Nyon, etc. I just feel that once you’ve been forced to destroy an entire city, you may no longer qualify for ingenue roles.

Megatron is similarly a point of strange characterisation. Characters making mistakes is not necessarily a problem, but having a supposedly intelligent, strategic character who is intended to serve as a major villain repeatedly make daft choices? Less good, and it is especially not good when the behaviour of the character is described differently from what actually happens in the story. The writers continue to define Megatron’s version of villainy in terms of dominance and control, the implication (to me, at least) being that he is precise and focused in a way that other villains, like Scorponok, were not. However, Megatron’s actual behaviour and dialogue in the comic does not live up to that - he repeatedly takes massive risks or makes obvious tactical errors, relies on fear and blunt, brutal tactics, and can be quite self-indulgent. Although obviously mistakes and character flaws are fine, I think the writers settled for mistakes that were just too, too obvious in terms of tactics and created a bit of a clash between what they wanted Megatron to be and where the plot actually took the character.

First up, there is the decision to place Pentius’ spark inside of Trypticon. Megatron is aware that Pentius is actively malevolent, but seems to find no potential drawbacks to placing his spark inside the most powerful physical body available and only afterwards does he apparently think to ask ‘How am I to trust you?’. He is then shocked when the evil alien whom he had been able to control on Junkion because Pentius was literally a head on a chain, can suddenly be far more independent and dangerous when placed into a giant hell-dinosaur. Later things are smaller, but moments like Megatron only realising that acid rain would damage his air force as well as the Autobots’ halfway through a battle added to the impression that the writers were scrambling for a way to end the series quickly.

Optimus fares better. For example, his enjoyment of the mission to the pole has interesting implications for his tendency to isolate himself, but the flaws or challenges that gave him a lot of texture in Autocracy and Monstrosity have been shaved down - his main personal issue in this book seems to be a generalised sense of the pressure that comes with leadership. Compared to the Optimus of Monstrosity, this is a very smooth Optimus. Overall, the story seems more interested in propping up Optimus as the hero - Omega Supreme’s interactions with him spring to mind - but that comes at the cost of the specificity that previous books had given the character, which is a shame, as I think they helped me appreciate him more.

In fact, a lack of specificity is the cause of a lot of my problems with this book. The battles between Trypticon and Metroplex are so huge that it is difficult to really engage with them, they take place on a disaster movie scale, but named characters are in little danger and I wasn't attached enough to Iacon or Harmonex to really feel their destruction. Other threats are similarly poorly defined, like Pentius, and resolved through vague solutions, like Optimus showing Megatron the Matrix, which apparently removes or destroys Pentius' spark or its connection to Megatron for reasons that are sort of unclear.

There are still things to enjoy about this book and I fully intend to read it again at some point, but the plot holes and characterisation are glaring enough that it is definitely weaker than its predecessors.

Well, that was the last of the -acies series and I’m actually glad I read them, even if this last instalment didn’t do as much for me. Time to move on to Spotlight: Thundercracker!

#comics #transformers primacy #transformers #rereading! #the grand reread 2023-2024