#i thought it would be fun to make a parallel with this quote

[mllenugget]

Hello I mcyt fandom-ified la Team du Lundi members and wrote a shit ton of text about it

After exhausting myself on trying to catch up on the current QSMP lore I got a sudden craving for a more familiar and fast paced kind of minecraft content and ended up rewatching all the Team du Lundi's SMP best of's I could find

And while doing so with my brain still hazed in fandom brainrot, I started picking up on minor details or info the players casually dropped, and drew parallels to the French speakers' QSMP counterparts This is going to be a long wordy post I don't even know what I am rambling about and for. Three things you need to be aware of about la Team du Lundi before reading :

Baghera, Antoine and Etoiles are the only QSMP players that are part of la Team du Lundi

As far as I remember the only two elements that suggest that la Team du Lundi's SMP could be canon to QSMP are Antoine being pressured into building another Tower of Shit, and Baghera's infamous fountain being mentioned when she was asked if her character remembers anything from her past before the island

La Team du Lundi's SMP was NOT a roleplaying server, it was just a private survival server for a small circle of friends casually playing together. So whenever I quote someone in this specific post, it is the streamer : there is no character other than the persona the streamer is usually showing on stream, but I just thought it would be fun to interpret certain situations while keeping in mind the QSMP lore. And here goes :

Baghera claims that when she was a kid she strongly believed that she could breathe underwater. The others joke about her having fins

Antoine jokingly tells Baghera he doesn’t need oxygen at all

Antoine claims he will still be alive thousands of years forwards

Antoine’s voice shifts when he wants to appear creepy

Baghera built an aquarium at her place, then helped Antoine build one at his tower, then built a giant swimming pool, then a fountain, then a waterslide- do you see a theme ?

Baghera knows that her skin is actually that of a chick and not a duckling, and calls it so here

Chat said that Baghera has a middle child syndrome, justifying that she bullies Angle Droit because Etoiles bullies her in the first place (Etoiles has also called her « little sister » in a derogatory way)

Etoiles has repeatedly asked people to play Valorant with him at least once

Here's a clip of Etoiles getting languaged in french and owing "a gifted sub in the swear jar"

Unrelated random clip of Etoiles because it creates happy hormones in me brain

Etoiles is regularly refered to as "the warrior"

Etoiles guided the whole group during an expedition to the End and he was literally glowing doing so (enchanted arrows effect) Everyone called him "the guide"

Baghera was the one who gave the final blow to the Enderdragon (and died from magic right after)

Etoiles spent most of his time adventuring in order to bring stuff and gear back to everyone for their builds

Etoiles asked Aypierre for help in order to design a redstone door for his cave which could only open upon solving a puzzle (which was egg & arrow related) (Aypierre was not a member of the server)

Etoiles built a nightclub with the walls and ceiling covered in wardenblocks making it look like a starry sky. He also rehomed Allays holding golden apples inside claiming them to be the souls working for him and that they lived there peacefuly

Etoiles jokingly talks about Antoine acting jealous and violent towards him because Etoiles told him he wanted to go and visit Kameto (who also was not a member of the server)

Baghera (along with Horty) had a rivalry with Joueur du Grenier (host of the server with admin powers) after he decided to build a massive parking lot right next to their house. They countered by covering the whole thing with dirt, followed by JDG building a factory and the two parties went back and forth. Baghera argued that it was stupid because they didnt even have cars to begin with (which is a sentence she reused when talking about Forever's roads) Also she tells JDG that he could've built a seaport instead, which makes JDG contemplate the thought of building an airport (and though he ended up never building it, I am side eyeing the French's plane crash)

At some point JDG wonders about what a roleplaying minecraft server would look like (RPZ 2), to which Baghera replies that she has a hard time picturing the thing "We'd all just build things you see ? I don't think we'd create stories, we would all just be like "I'm a builder, ah you too ? Well awesome, builders, cool"" and I find this to be hilariously ironic (fun fact : Baghera had no idea that QSMP was a roleplaying server when she first joined and often claims she would've taken a different approach with her character had she known right off the gate)

As I was finishing to write this down, these fuckers (/lh) decided to host a closure night for the server as they've never really officially did it, everyone just sort of deserted the server after a while. Baghera, Etoiles and Antoine kept referring to QSMP throughout the night, mostly talking about how weird it felt without mods. Among other meta commentary things

They mentionned Cellbit and Bad multiple times as the group was trying to solve enigmas. Antoine talked about "the cultural sharing" between communities as he taught insults to each others with Mike, Roier and Maximus in their respective languages Multiple more players were namedropped (including eggs) while Antoine was talking about how the server functions

Yes, Baghera and Etoiles kept their QSMP skins. Etoiles with his code corrupted purgatory one, and Baghera with her fading pink disheveled hair (with the addition of her cubito wearing Horty's merch)

Baghera admits that going back to this small familiar vanilla server feels like coming back home to your family during the holidays

Team du Lundi's cameos in QSMP :

Though Pomme has never canonically met JDG (even though most of her parents have talked about him to her at least once), she occasionaly breaks the 4th wall to refer to him. She once compared one of BBH's "vacation" flower shirts with his, and when Foolish and Bad asked her to elaborate (obviously not getting the reference) she proceeded to play JDG's music theme with the flute instead (Also I really feel the need to once more point out how mindblowing it is for your average french speaking viewer to have JDG's intro theme being added to the mod they use in the QSMP because of how anchored it is within french internet pop culture. Like this shit has been existing for 14 fucking years, it's part of the childhood of a lot of us, so to find a clip of British hardcore player Philza peacefuly listening to Mexican egg admin Tallulah play this theme on her flute feels like a multiverse fever dream)

Horty has been on Quesadilla Island through cc!Baghera's account, but neither of them really wanted to justify it RP wise. Baghera just wanted to give her best friend a tour of the island. Horty only got to meet Richarlyson who gave her a tour of Cellbit's castle and made her pick a room (she chose Chaos). She also chatted with Etoiles who tagged along for a bit and (this is obviously justified by it being a one-shot out of roleplay filler episode kind of night) they both already knew each other and were on friendly enough terms to bicker with one another Also she was part of the French speakers Quackity reached out to to invite on the server, but she had to decline because she was very busy at that time (and also not interested) Also also she was Baghera's teammate for that Formula 4 event, and Baghera has discussed it and showed pictures to a couple of islanders, including Richas who was very hyped about it

Another player the viewers were hoping to see on Quackity's server is Mynthos. He exists within the server with the picture of him that hangs in Pomme's art gallery, the cursed animation video that used to play in La France, as well as with Aypierre's health potion factory that bears his name

Angle Droit and Zerator are sometimes namedropped when the French speakers talk with their chat. Angle Droit frequently raids Baghera's and Antoine's streams, and though it has never been confirmed, a lot of viewers theorized that she was the +1 player Baghera and Etoiles wanted to invite on the server had they won the elections.

As for Zera, Etoiles went AFK on QSMP a couple of times in order to test some of Zerator's TrackMania maps (which he later discussed with Pac). I also remember a very trivial conversation Etoiles had with Mouse and Aypierre where he laughed about hurting his back very badly after carrying a fellow streamer during a caritative event, said event was hosted by Zerator (he's also the one judging them with concern from his desk)

I'm done.

Bonus alternative design for Angle Droit because at first I thought she was a fox then it turned out she was a corgi but then she changed it again to a fox and woop

#I wrote down a whole other post just as long as this one to explain my individual thought process behind each designs #Took me weeks to write- had a couple of clips to back up my headcanons #but then I was reading the post again checking for mistakes before realizing #yo just #that is so many words and for what #just let your designs speak for themselves hey trust yourself let there be room for interpretation #if people turn out to be curious well i guess thats what ask box was created for leave it be thats enough #(not) fun fact : I drew those Baghera Etoiles & Antoine designs back in june and the files got corrupted and I lost a week worth of work #if we are mutuals on discord youve mightve heard me whine about this one #mcyt #team du lundi #qsmp #angle droit #hortyunderscore #baghera jones #zerator #etoiles #mynthos #joueur du grenier #antoine daniel #serveur du lundi #my art

[amyriadofleaves]

outside it starts to pour — neuvillette | chapter three

synopsis: in the limelight of fontaine, the prying eyes of its people never truly tears their gaze off the iudex and you, the présidence du conseil d'état, which makes for baseless rumours to fester and echo throughout the theatrics of opera. you and neuvillette are challenged by the reputations the both of you are expected to uphold, and the weighty decision to navigate these intricacies rests upon the discerning judgement of fontaine's archon.

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ao3 : wattpad  ˚　.˚　

⌗ pairing : neuvillette x fem!reader ⌗ feat : neuvillette, reader ⌗ warnings : not rly ⌗ word count: 4.4k

You arrive at the Palais a little shy before sunrise. Every step you take is light as your thoughts are consumed with the necessity of signing paperwork before your meeting with Clorinde, and your fatigue suddenly becomes the least of your worries. Your steps speed in a flurry of excitement of the events of today (you are so excited, even, that the whole marriage debacle flies over your head — but you are acutely aware of the uneasiness that brews at the very pit of your stomach). 

Oh, you haven’t felt so happy since you were a meek, frail little excuse of a lawyer, excited for your first day at work. You even wave at everyone present in Palais Mermonia, and smile widely upon seeing Sedene, to which she regards with a questioning look. She scratches her head while she’s at it, almost calculating what she should, and should not say. She decides she will be in your good graces today.

“Why aren’t you early today!”

You sniff, wiping your eyes. “Well, it’s not like I could get any sleep, really — I was as awake as an owl the whole night!” Before Sedene can get a word out, you interject enthusiastically, before taking a sip of your coffee: “You know what they say: early bird catches the worm!”

The Melusine’s expression turns stoic, and almost playful. “Are you merely saying this to hide the reality that you're having trouble sleeping because of the marital arrangement?”

Gracelessly (like there was any graceful alternative), you spit out your drink. Ah, so that was what all the uneasiness was about. The events of last night were a blur, but you briefly recall the bitter taste of alcohol on your tongue and a creeping headache blooming — but what was fun without its consequences? A few painkillers and your day would go on without a hitch. Instead of wallowing in self-pity for too long, you beg a question: “Erm, Sedene? Who told you this?”

To your dismay, her face lights up. “Oh. My. God. So it is true! You are to be my aunt! You are marrying the Chief Justice of Fontaine—” Before she is given the opportunity to say another word, you kneel down to muffle her words with the palm of your hand, hastily looking around to see if anyone had heard her.

“I repeat myself, who told you that?”

She replies in earnest, and you cannot help but feel your heart thawing again. Melusines are infuriatingly adorable, and in turn they are your weakness; You cannot, no matter how hard you try, feel even the slightest bit of resentment for their gullible behaviour. In response to your question, she points to the other Melusine, her head in a book, at the end of the hallway. “Kiara told me so — says that she and Liath were hiding behind the Chief Justice’s couch listening in to the ‘arrangement’.” Sedene brings both of her hands to her shoulders and air quotes the word ‘arrangement'. How cute.

So that accounted for the strange movement behind one of the couches. You crack a smile at the notion that Sedene wouldn't have heard the end of it for so readily spilling such a secret if this was some parallel universe where she and the others were simply humans instead.

Another one’s elation is another’s despair, however, and you lament ever choosing to stay in this hell of a place. “If you keep going on like this I’m going to have to find another post to work at before all my secrets get exposed, Sedene. Well — if you’ll excuse me, I have work to attend to.” You give her a pained smile, and ignore the crack of your knees as you begin to stand up. How unfit I am, you curse.

___

Letting your forehead thud against the desk, you bear the weight of boredom and exhaustion settling in the dull ache echoing through your office. You tell yourself that there is only an hour before you can leave to meet your soulmate from a land far, far, away. Clorinde, what a girl she is, so hard headed yet so sensitive all the same. Laughing at this sentiment, you shake your head before dipping your quill in the pot of ink before signing more papers. 

“Pipe leakage… recent case solved…” you read to yourself, humming lightly in the chill of your office. You smirk at the lack of any papers regarding the marriage and wish deeply that what she said was just, purely in jest.  

You eye the two stacks that sit on both sides of your desk with pride: the proportion of signed and to-be-signed papers were in your favour, and you flick through the unfinished stack and find your fingers coming empty handed faster than usual.

The dread you felt this morning settles in once again, and you scrunch your nose in distaste. You pray that Lady Furina has forgotten about the whole proposal, and instead has thought of a better, more rational method of addressing her defamation. Though you find her indisputably repulsive, you clasp your hands together in prayer that she would pity a mere mortal like you and save you the trouble. You omit Monsieur Neuvillette out of the equation since you doubt he quite fits into the bill of a ‘mere mortal’.  People were of the general opinion that he was not quite human. After all, what kind of person is able to live that long? You set the thought aside, and realise your work here is done. Early weekend it is! 

You stand from your seat and make your way to the door to leave — but your pace hiccups at the sound of distinct metal clad boots echoing through the Palais. Who it is is unmistakable. This, you know absolutely. Back to the door, you anticipate the dulling of his steps with great anxiety. You hold your satchel tightly to your chest like a lifeline, not daring to breathe.

It feels like centuries before the footsteps cease, and you take this as your call to leave before anyone can question your early departure. You gulp nervously gingerly twist the knob to your door.

The worst time your intuition can fail you is now, and it does, matter of factly, fail you.

There the Chief Justice stands, just right outside your office, fist hovering where it would’ve knocked on the door had you not opened it mere seconds before he decided to do so. It would be a lie to say you aren’t stunned, and you hope to god he doesn’t notice the surprise that comes to flicker over your face.

He brings his arm down to rest right by his hip, and gives you a tightlipped smile. “Here I was thinking you left already.”

You take in the neater braid he now wears as opposed to the hairdo he sported yesterday, and you do not know what to do but gesture to it lamely. “I presume the Melusines made short work of… whatever style you’re rocking today.” In an awkward attempt to make yourself loosen up, you lean stiffly on the doorframe. What is wrong with me? Who in the hell says ‘rocking’? Am I stupid or am I stupid?

“Why yes, I am very proud of the final product indeed. What ever shall I do without them?” He seems to think deeply at the possibility, and his expression sours a little, like that of a dejected puppy.

You titter slightly. How dense can this man be? “Surely, you’re aware that I'm joking?”

Neuvillette, in fact, is not aware of this. Quite frankly, he is confused at your change in mood, the what seemed to be a perpetual frown on your face turned upside down for once. “Yes, I am aware. Do not worry.” He is confused at himself, too. Since when was he one for white lies?

Clearing your throat, you look him in the eye. “So… what brings you to my office?”

“I presume it would be best to bring this matter inside, if that is alright with you?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

You notice that he is as tense as ever, and so you offer him a seat.

As he settles into the cosy confines of your office, he finds himself surprisingly at ease. Surveying the artwork adorning the walls and the cherished photographs adorning the shelves, he detects a distinctly human touch. One image, in particular, catches his eye: a photograph featuring you and your mother. He eyes it for a while, picking out the features that he finds similar between your mother and yourself. What a striking resemblance, he thinks. 

Crossing your arms, you shake your head a little. “I am sorry monsieur, but my schedule is kind of tight today so I’m gonna need you to jump straight to the point.” You slightly wince at the sharpness of your tone, but the man sat in front of you does not seem to acknowledge this whatsoever.

“Ah, yes — I am sorry. And please, just call me Neuvillette. We are to be wed after all.”

If you still had any of the coffee you drank earlier in your mouth, you would have soiled the Chief Justice's robe!  You thank yourself that it happened with Sedene instead of Neuvillette. Not that it was any better with Sedene, but...

You try your very best to hide your clammy hands underneath the desk. “And… where’s the confirmation? I haven’t heard from Lady Furina since…”

Neuvillette itches the back of his neck with a sort of expression you associate with the likes of something unpleasant. This is certainly a first. A flustered Neuvillette? “You see, that was what I was to discuss with you.” 

You gulp as he hands you a stapled contract and ignore the flutter in your chest when your hands graze for a second. Despite his previous affirmation to your suspicions, you still persist to deny that this has nothing to do with the proposal. 

You are terribly wrong. Lady Furina hasn’t forgotten. Before taking a look at the paper, you brace yourself for the inevitable.

Matrimonial Accord: This contract is entered into on this by [13/09/XX] and between [17/09/XX]:

Party A: [Chief Justice Neuvillette]  and  Party B: [(Name)]

Whereas, both parties agree to enter into a simulated matrimonial union for mutual benefit; 

Now, therefore, in consideration of the covenants and promises contained herein, the parties agree as follows:

I will definitely find a way to rectify the mistakes of Poisson, so you sly woman — you know who you are — do not berate me so!

You quirk a brow. Peering closer at the paper, you notice that this sentence was penned in between the lines; you come to realise that there is a jarring difference in the handwriting, and realise that it is Furina’s doing. 

Terms and Conditions:

Duration: The ‘marriage’  shall be in effect for a period of six months from the effective date unless terminated earlier by mutual agreement.

Public Appearances: Both parties shall make appearances as a newlywed couple at designated events, including but not limited to diplomatic receptions, state dinners, The Opera Epiclese, and similar functions.

Acts of Public Affection: The parties agree to engage in acts of public affection as deemed necessary and encouraged to maintain the appearance of a genuine marital relationship.

Proposal: A grand and dramatic proposal event shall be staged, adhering to agreed-upon guidelines.

Publicity: Parties acknowledge and accept that the faux marriage is intended for public perception, and both parties shall cooperate in presenting a united front to the public.

Termination:

Either party may terminate this agreement with written notice to the other party if there is a breach of any provision herein or for any reason mutually agreed upon.

Governing Law:

This Agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of Fontaine.

In witness whereof, the two parties hereto have executed this Matrimonial Accord as of the Effective Date. Remember to not be surprised at the publicity; it is the whole point after all — my name shall be cleared!

               SIGNED             

[Chief Justice Neuvillette]  [Date]

_________________________

[(Name)]  [Date]

Abruptly, you look up at the Iudex and notice him staring at you with intent. You hold it unwaveringly, and note that it is as if he’s looking through you rather than at you. “She barely contributed to writing this, did she?”

Neuvillette straightens his frame, seemingly rehearsing what he ought to say, lest something were to come off wrongly and this whole contract be damned. He coughs into his fist. “The first and original copy was… something of no merit, demoiselle. This was the most I could do to mitigate the foolishness of her terms, forgive me if they are still not in your favour.”

You shut your eyes in denial, pinching your wrist to hang onto one sliver of hope, that maybe ─ just maybe — this was a dream. 

You toss the contract curtly onto the desk that separates the two of you. “In my favour it is not, monsieur. I do not wish to sign this.” You flat out decline, dispelling any arguments you know are to be posed if you had elaborated any further.

Neuvillette’s look wavers, and he slightly wilts at your adamance to keep formalities — but he chooses to make no fuss of this just yet. “But you must. Please, this is for your sake.” He fully expected this, yes, but to be flat out rejected with no room for discussion shook him greatly.

You shoot a hand up in the air in exasperation. “Is this for my sake or Furina’s sake? Hm? I just — I can’t do it. I know, I know six months is not long. But to keep up an act — let alone pretend like I’m in love — it’s just too taxing and I know I won’t be able to do it.” You shoot a hand up in the air in exasperation.

The Iudex prepares himself to say what he never expected to in all the years he’s been alive. Do not fret, madame, for it is not your solitary responsibility. I must admit, it's a situation I hadn't anticipated, and I, too, am thrust into it. There's an undeniable obligation on my part, and, well, it's an unexpected predicament for both of us.

This does not do much to shake your resolve.

His eyes plead for you to listen, and you swear on your life that this is the most distressed you've ever seen him. “Lady Furina will surely see to it that you face some semblance of punishment. And madame, I clarify that I have, indeed, tried to convince her otherwise — but she has not relented —”

The steeling glare you shoot him is enough to cease his tangent — but defeated as he is, he still manages one last plea. “Please, kindly take it into consideration.”

Biting your lip, you weigh the infinite possibilities that lie in the palms of your hands. It is strictly only six months, the marriage isn’t even real, you advise yourself, ignoring the other gnawing voice that is screaming at you to say no. But there has to be a catch! another voice insists, and you are stuck in a limbo of yeses and noes for what seemed a little too long for comfort. 

This is a pivotal moment for yourself and your career. It will undoubtedly either embarrass you or elevate your status in the eyes of those who are waiting with bated breath for any error to take advantage of. Not that this is anything new; you recall vividly the expressions of scepticism from those who sat before you at the Opera Epiclese, questioning the veracity of your judgement — your privileged, yet tainted background a harbinger for disaster.

Dragging the contract back to your end of the desk, you give it a brief once-over. This time, your eyes catch onto the lack of conditions set by Lady Furina. How incompetent, whether you are scolding her or yourself, you are unsure. 

You draw in a long inhale, and level your eyes to his. “I’ll do it.”

His eyes widen in surprise, and he lets out a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you’ve come to agree with the terms.” You are slightly irked at the breaking of his character, but nod your head nonetheless. You reach for your quill, and your hand hesitates before the ink soaks through the paper. Your heart is practically in your throat at how spontaneous all of this is. 

You hand the contract to Neuvillette, but the paper is suspended in your grasp for a few moments. “However — I have a request to make.”

Neuvillette’s eyes glint in the blooming sunlight peeking through the blinds. “Anything.”

You retract your arm, and now are in full possession of the contract again. You present the first page, the page offered to Neuvillette, poised in your hands. “This contract mentions nothing of the lines we can, and cannot cross. And I’d just like to input my ideas before you return this to Lady Furina.”

“That is a reasonable request. Do continue.” Offering him a quill, he takes it gingerly along with the contract. He flips the page, writing something along the lines of ‘additions to…’ under the signatures. You fully expect him to be calm and collected, but a wrinkle forms between your brows when you notice that his fingers exhibit a subtle quiver, akin to the gentle tremor of a leaf in a soft breeze. A faint falter anyone could miss, yet you find it to be the most profound aspect of his character, peculiarly intimate in its nature.

“Are you alright? You’re a touch too pale.”

What? Were you really as ghastly as he said you were? You clear your throat, tearing your focus off his gloved hands. “I am quite alright. So… onto the terms. First and foremost, each party isn’t obliged to the whereabouts of the opposite party, unless consented to. Sounds good?”

He nods his head, not sparing a glance at you lest he loses focus. 

You take the ceasing of him writing as a sign for you to continue. “Next, I’d like to request that any advancements behind closed doors are to be prohibited, alongside any insinuation of consummation — or having one’s way with the other. Might I add that —” you pause at the silence that came with the lack of the intent scribbling of a quill pen from the man in front of you. Were you talking too fast? He is all red in the face.

“I — uh, did I say something sensitive?”

He lets out a little cough, before he breaks out into a fit. You are clueless in what you must do. Is he choking? Is he sick? Should you offer him freshly acquired water from Chenyu Vale? Your panic only ensues when it dawns on you that you have no solutions for all the possibilities that echo through your head. A teacup is sat solitary on one of your books. Oh, right. You have a crazy collection of Fonta.

You reach for it, before reluctantly offering it to him. “Would you like some Fonta? Though, it might be a few days old, I’m afraid.” He frantically waves his free hand, and you think he means no. Gosh, does he not like Fonta? That is very unlike the Fontainian character. Retracting yourself back into your seat, you can only wait until he stops his fit. To your luck, he stops before he actually stops breathing.

“I,” he starts, “do not think the consummation part is at all —” he sputters again. “— necessary.”

You smile a little, and look away to save him the embarrassment. “I repeat that I did say ‘insinuation’: this pertains to all external parties involved; for example, Lady Furina.”

Oh. My apologies for the oversight. Just — spare me a moment. After clearing his throat into his forearm, he continues to scrawl on the paper. 

Taking pity on him, you decide to help and extend your hand to finish the last conditions. The look on his face tells you he is rather bewildered at the action, and he waves a hand (calmly this time) to refuse your help. “It is quite alright.”

To keep yourself from disclosing the full extent of your reason, you make the decision to tell a lie. “Do not take this into offence — it’s not that you’re a slow writer, monsieur. I just have a meeting with Miss Clorinde in about half an hour and I think it’d be best if I write the conditions to quicken the pace a little.” While the ‘truth’ isn’t necessarily a lie, it is nonetheless effective, so why not utilise it?

He quietly relents, handing you the slightly crumpled piece of paper. You scan his words, and to your astonishment, his penmanship is still precise and tidy, a stark contrast to the fit he showed just seconds ago.

Except for the last few words he wrote, of course. You strike through the whole sentence and rewrite it properly.

Additional Terms to the Contract that all parties (including external ones) are expected to adhere to:

Romantic advancements behind closed doors are prohibited — and this includes:

Any insinuation of consummation.

Covert displays of affection beyond reasonable social boundaries.

Innuendos or suggestive remarks.

Excessive or prolonged physical contact behind closed doors.

Each party isn’t obliged to the whereabouts of the opposite party, unless consented to.

These guidelines are to be strictly followed for the duration of the agreed-upon contract.

Placing the contract onto the table, you push it slightly forwards. Your heart beats in a crescendo, and you almost berate yourself for selling your life away. Six months! it said; but the silence that hangs between the both of you is knowing. No one is going to forget. You are, for lack of a better word: imprisoned. Every solution is an illusion of sanctuary and this is the one that grants the most mercy. 

You are parched. The words that come out of your mouth are awfully feeble, and you can only manage to croak out whatever dignity you have left.“Now, monsieur, if you’ll excuse me. I have something I need to attend to.”

He nods his head and stands from his seat. “But of course.”

You both exit your office in unpleasant silence. 

Finally, after all that back and forth, Neuvillette finally accepts the contract, and bows before returning to his own office. In his absence, you swear you feel your eyes water a little. What exactly have you just gotten yourself into? This sends you reeling to when you were a child, thrown into fencing classes with people twice your age — except the intensity of it all is multiplied tenfold. 

It is times like this where you want to reach for your mother. You miss her terribly, and you wish to do anything to feel her warm embrace and to hear her whisper words of reassurance to convince you that everything was alright. 

“And of what of Father’s tenderness? Is that not proof that he loves you?”

“But my dearest, tenderness is the very proof you have been ruined.”

You blink, and the tear that had pooled falls and is caught by the apple of your cheek. You chew on your lip to prevent a quiver from it. Not here, you chastise yourself.

Hearing someone approach, you hasten your stride while wiping the tear with such aggression you feel your makeup smear and linger on the base of your wrist. The Gardes that stand by the doors regard you with indifference, and for the first time, you appreciate that they pay you no mind. One step outside and you curse under your breath at how today is awfully gloomy, a pitiful beam of light peeking through the clouds. A gust of wind curls through your hair, painting your cheeks with the cool droplets of imminent rain. Blasted Hydro Dragon.

You decide to steal a glance at whomever it is that is behind you and almost let out a whine. Why is it always him? Whether it is a figment of your imagination, he seems to slow when he sees you slightly turn to him. You, however, feign ignorance, turning your head away, yet a small part of you harbours a minute hope – the hope that he might choose to fall into step beside you. And indeed, he does.

His next move is abrupt, albeit a bit awkward. “Allow me to accompany you to your destination. My schedule for today is quite unoccupied, and, well, I was thinking it might be an opportune moment for us to engage in some conversation. If that is fine with you, of course.” The offer lingers in the air, awaiting your response.

His request blurs into the backdrop as you catch the glare of multiple cameras gleaming at the both of you outside the Palais. Foolish you are not, and you come to the grim understanding that they are waiting here for you. Of course, the Chief Justice is the primary priority; you are simply his paramour .

How convoluted could all of this be? You've seen a plethora of operas. This is not any more different. You take a glance at Neuvillette, but he is gazing ahead, his expression inscrutable.

A contemplative look floods through your eyes, and you are given an instant to make a spontaneous decision. The intricate dance of human emotions, the thirst for scandal, the insatiable appetite for drama — they claw at anything if it means it will quench their foolish desires. They're looking for bravado. Drama. With everything in them, they yearn for it. It is merely human hubris, an inexorable sin. Lady Furina wants an act? You’ll have her beg for more.

You whirl around to properly face him and smile. “Why, I’d be most delighted, mon chéri.” You relish in his widened eyes as your hands shakily reach for the hem of his collar, and you adjust it just enough to ruffle the fabric of his blouse.  Looking at him with all the tenderness you can muster, you place a palm to his chest and another to your side, and still, he is nothing short of hopeless. So, you decide to help him a little; would it hurt to give them a little more of a show?

Guiding him further into the act, the heels of your feet are lifted off the ground, and you wrap your arms around his neck to gently press your lips to his ear. “Act,” is the single word you whisper to him; a command — a curse —  before you pull away, grinning cruelly as the cameras flare.

a/n : TEEHEE I wanna kiss him sb its not funny anymroewse

taglist : @sek0ya

#neuvillette x reader #neuvillette #genshin impact #neuvillette fanfic #enemies to lovers #marriage of convenience #neuvillette genshin #lolololofwl I WANt him

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e9 rewatch notes (part 1)

Omelette - I'm hoping I can pull through and finish this rewatch in its entirety before I leave on vacation. While the analysis is fun, the actual act of watching the show feels very masochistic vs. last season, which I must have watched a dozen times.

The-not-sexy-sex-scene: It's interesting that the credits start to roll on a black backdrop before we even get the blue-hued (read: frozen) sex scene, and its set to a song that was written about a death/funeral (The Day the World Went Away by NIN).

As a bit of context, Trent Reznor's grandmother (who raised him after his parents flaked out) died right before the release of The Fragile, and this song was thought to be written as a reflection of her funeral. I know they didn't include any lyrics in the scene (that would be too on-the-nose for a director that delights in subterfuge), but in no world is this a happy or lustful track - it's frail, wistful, and entirely about something (someone) that has been lost.

There's some laughter in there, if you squint, but it's mostly intense and needy glances replete with swinging chain for the feral audiences sake. The stark/open "little death" eyes at the end (as Claire is presumably sleeping ) punctuate the scene UNTIL....

.....Sydney is buttoning up her coat (i.e. getting frigging dressed) in the very next beat, frustration in her voice as she notices the stains on her whites (God, is this a sheets parallel?) .

This is hot on the trail of her getting undressed (revealing her 3 of swords tattoo) at the end of s2e7 as Carmy and Claire make out in the split montage, which is the only reason I'm thankful this was released as a binge series this year.

There's not much more to elaborate on here that hasn't been discussed in this brilliant analysis by @belassima- the classic "getting dressed after a sexual encounter" trope turned on its head. We don't see Claire again until friends & family, and this is wholly on purpose. I'm suing Christopher Storer for damages after the series finale.

Syd and her Dad have such an enviable synergy - but you can tell she's over leaning on him as her "person". He's checking in on her stomach (foreshadowing the dumpster scene) and acts as her lone hype man. "I don't know how you do what you do, but I am excited".

Emmanuel - "I never want you to feel like you have to make everything the thing."

a.k.a - "You know, there are other fish in the sea."

Sydney - "Why can't we put everything we have into everything that we can"

a.k.a - "I want to funnel everything into catching this one - this is a borrowed quote from my soulmate business partner."

Emmanuel - "Baby, if that's true, then why put so much pressure on this one?"

a.k.a - "What is the reason/what is so particularly special about this fresh hell you've been subjecting yourself to?"

Sydney - "Because.....I don't know if I could do another one"

Ok - more nuance is required here. According to Syd hivemind, the answers range from "Syd's been burned in a relationship/partnership before", "Syd also has Lupus", or purely "Syd has failed too many times and is scared". We still don't know enough about her past, but I tend to look at this through a strictly fearful/nihilistic prism - she feels like she can't take any more heartache (along with the physical and financial ramifications) from another crash-and-burn endeavor.

But Emmanuel's worried eyes tell a bigger story after she delivers this line, so.....I dunno! I hope S3 covers this understanding gap in a big way.

Strange Currencies playing overhead of the city, taking us to the ally where Carmy is having THE panic attack. I transcribed every image he cycles through while the song plays backwards:

*Sex scene of Carmy staring down expressionless at Claire in bed, Claire leaning down to kiss Carmy.

*An old picture of Claire staring straight ahead, a Sweet 16 birthday picture of her sticking out her tongue in a tiara, one of Carmy's drawing of her with glasses from class. Cut to a flash of Claires face with a wry smile in sepia lighting, followed by another one that is similar but almost taunting. These sepia images get creepier as the panic attack escalates, but also more focused.

*Another drawing of Claire smiling with glasses with Mikey's voice echoing in the background "the motherfucking glasses came off!"

*Another old picture of Claire smiling without glasses, followed by another.

*Mikey and Richie and another "the motherfucking glasses came off!" soundbite.

*Drawing of Claire in glasses again for a brief flash, followed by Carmy and Claires first kiss at The Bear.

*"Carm, this is a good thing" with Stevie, as Carmy crumples to the ground in the ally.

*Claire up-close in sepia sort of half-wistful/half-scruitinizing Carmy

*Donna screaming "fuck you" and Mikey braying at the dinner table, Lee reacting, a dish smashing.

*Sepia Claire turning and smiling to the camera.

*More braying and fuck-you's from Mikey and Lee

*Just Claire's eyes in Sepia-mode, staring across at him with a joker-esque smile as the braying and swearing and fighting continues.

*Donna screaming "are you motherfuckers okay!?"

*The drawings of The Bear in Mikey's hands, him looking up affectionately at Carmy.

*Donna slapping Carmy - Carmy looks up in the ally as if something has slapped him out of it.

Donna and Mikey summon Sydney after this - Mikey with the acknowledgment of his dream (The Bear) and an ounce of brutality from Donna (as in: how dare you care about me, Carmen). These two figures, engines of chaos and trauma, steer him towards Sydney's first words to him.

"Hi, Hello..."

*Strange currencies - "These words* You were the most excellent CDC at the most excellent restaurant in the entire United States of America. What are you doing here I guess?" *you will be mine. You will be mine all the time*

I....I don't understand how the panic attack is ambiguous for people off of this site. I don't understand why it's not noted in reviews and think pieces. I don't understand why otherwise smart people put forth simplistic narratives like "Carmen just needs to make peace with his family" or "he fumbled Claire, his shot at happiness." I just don't understand.

Sydney passing Verdana "Now fool might be my middle name" as she stares down at the sign saying they will be permanently closed May 1st - along with the instrumentals, a clock ticks in the background. A flash of Nilah's face is interspersed, smiling back at her. "But I'd be foolish not to say..."

If this is an ellipse to a "Carmy loves Syd, Syd is fully gay" moment in later seasons, I'll be pretty disappointed since that would be a too-easy way to shut things down.

On first viewing, I took it as "Syd sees herself in Nilah" - she aspires to be her, Nilah gave her forewarning about partnerships that aren't official, Nilah was empowered, optimistic, and in control....and Nilah has not succeeded, highlighting Sydney's anxieties about failure at the same time Carmy is cycling through his own debris.

But the song lyrics are ambiguous, and everything is on purpose, and god damn I hate what fan theories have done to my mind.

Anyone catch that on the F&F menu listed on the whiteboard (as Natalie enters to sit with Carmy) the course of Seven Fishes is followed by the Bolognese? The feast was followed by the meal he prepared for Claire being served at friends and family? Yeah, I did.

The mother father painting - I feel like everyone was riffing on this during the earlier part of the week. The absolution of the mother due to the absent father. Syd being the mother (present) and Carmy being the father (absent). Donna (alive) vs. Mikey (dead). The idea of family haunting the dining room. The idea that this painting in the restaurant supplants what is trying to be built (found family). I suppose the parallels are endless here.

It's also just a truly shitty painting, a gauche reminder of Carmy's absence/inattentiveness.

"What exactly is a ServSafe certificate"?

Carmy was most definitely deflecting, he's a well-venerated chef. There are moments of inconsistency in the show that I let slide (giardiniera a la minute? bitch please) but there had to be a reason for this - his fatigue, his guilt, his inattentiveness reaching a breaking point.

Once he says "I'm fine on mom" Natalie sees it all coming to a head.

Sydney stickering her little Coach K vision board as she arrives for her shift. I just realized she doesn't really start paying attention to the book (a dorky 'go get 'em' gift from her Dad) until Carmy ditches her at Kasama. Coach K exists in the leadership void left by Carmy - it seems so sad to watch her pre-game by bejeweling a picture of a middle-aged man, but that sad pseudo-prayer card is the closest thing she's got to a north star right now.

Also, she's been fixated on and extolling the virtues of Coach K to Carmy all season and is met with....complete incuriosity, I guess? He never prods further, even when he sees her making this dinky thing for her station. It's almost like he knows, on a subconscious level, that this guy is supplanting him as Syd's guide.

But it's also her finding her own voice through advanced mentorship, which is great.

Carmy pointing at those aforementioned stains, Syd undressing in front of him, Carmy making plans to dress her again, them mutually deciding to dress in matching clothes until service. I cannot guys, I cannot.

Carmy getting spit-roasted for his deflection from Nat & Syd ("I know you just missed him *eyeroll*" "Do you have a phone these days?") - I feel like he's so under fire/exposed that he doesn't even recognize of the gravitas of the "I need your focus like you need mine" comment at first.

"What's your relationship with your mom like?" This scene has been discussed to death on here, I don't really have any new insights as it relates to Carmy/Syd and their maternal links or timing. I think the part that hasn't been explored much is Carmy's frustration with Nat which is thinly veiled as concern.

We saw in Fishes that Mikey and Carmy (and Donna) blame Nat for provoking bad behavior with her concern and neediness. Carmy says "she's expecting a miracle" like she's the sole sibling that enabled their mother. By way of Donna's disease and (I presume) unwillingness to seek help, the Berzatto kids really only had two options - enable by pacifying, or GTFO.

Mikey could be as atrocious as Donna. Donna is atrocious. Carmy played soothe-sayer and then left at 18. Natalie tries to cultivate some sense of family - the same family Carmy pays homage to via his restaurant, his menu, his girlfriend, Richie, his endless self-flagellation - but is resented for her own wayward attempts, even though they're very explicit expressions of love (sometimes) and longing (always). There's some really gnarly projection happening there that I expect will rear its head more in S3 between the two of them.

Cue Carmy being a douche to New Noise (although I love that little moment where he cock-blocks Connor, the new chef, and Tina smiles to herself a little).

Tina's been working tirelessly alongside Sydney and asks "Carmen, do you even have a phone?" as Syd tells him the contractor for the shelving called him eleventy-thousand times. There is a lot of emasculation happening on his own restaurant floor (formerly The Beef, the temple of gross masculinity) between the trifecta of Syd/Nat/Tina this episode, and it's only ratcheting up the defensiveness - his excuses and deflections fall flat, but he's not listening or learning yet.

Marcus' dessert check, (with Syd and Carmen looking like a panel of matchy-matchy top chef judges on the other side of the table):

Sydney is looking at Carmy with affection as Marcus receives a package from Denmark (whereas Carmen doesn't even react) - it's the second time she's looked at him like that in the conversation (the first being "workshopping the name") but it's been a long while since she's projected admiration his way. She sees how much he's done for Marcus in cultivating the whole customized Copenhagen experience for him, she sees his service, she sees her values humbly and quietly executed by him.

The Michael 😭 followed by the silence and "You can throw down, huh?" - what a perfect moment of TV.

I'm pausing here for tonight before my grammar falls apart (if it hasn't already), I'll unpack the rest tomorrow.

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #the bear #carmen berzatto #carmy x sydney #syd x carmy #marcus the bear #natalie berzatto #claire the bear #mikey berzatto #carmy berzatto

[theroundbartable]

(sending hugs)

what are your thoughts about aithusa? personally i love her way to much, but she rarely comes up in fandom discourse

HEY :D Thoughts about AIthusa, huh? I have many of those. Thoughts, I mean. In my brain. They like to swim around and create a whole mess of things sometimes.

I think the reason why Aithusa doesn't come up in fandom discourse often is because there isn't very much to say. Aithusa was born, then color coded as a sign for the golden future of Camelot and was then abandoned by Merlin. Tortured by a crazy guy. Then raised by Morgana and used to create the sword that later killed Arthur. Whenever they come up in fandom discouse, it's mostly about Merlin doing his job as Dragon Lord right or wrong. But you wanted my thoughts, so I'm gonna allow my head to spin weird shit around the ungendered Dragon. (That is why I will use they/them pronouns for Aithusa.) When it comes to Aithusa's name, not the canon translation, I mean what it literally means, it's hard to find, since they used old English for the language of magic, and I think Greek for the language of the Dragon Lords (which doesn't necessarily have to apply to the Dragon names) and I haven't seen anyone make a post about it. All I get from Google translate is "Hey you" in Gaelic and that's a bit useless. Or well, this:

The automatic language recognition in Google would let me interpret Aithusa as a gift to the world. Or Arthur, depending on your shipping interests. Or, you know, if I could make up the Old English maybe pseudo-parts of the word (the writers were very lazy in BBC Merlin, they are literally quoting Beowulf when Merlin magics the blue ball in the poisoned chalice.). Something fitting I found in my old English dictionary is agan, meaning to possess, and to own, and thus (spelled with a thorn which my keyboard doesn't have) meaning as follows. So, in my absolutely amateurish and interpretational, and way too far reaching ways, I would say Aithusa could mean: A(gan) thus (a): To own the future.

(Again, you asked for my thoughts, this is not canon and probably pointless, I just needed to go down this route first.)

In the fandom wiki, we find THESE informations on Aithusa.

So, things we do know are very few

Aithusa is a baby

Aithusa was tortured and is therefore crippled

Aithusa cannot talk

Aithusa probably has Stockholm Syndrom because of Morgana

But you know, I think it's very interesting to know that Aithusa is the Light of the Sun, the literal sign for a Golden Future and that very sign can be hurt by a mere human. Not only does this mean that humans can kill Dragons (the Dragon lore doesn't make any sense, I swear to god) but it's also meant to be symbolism. Merlin, just like Arthur, is shown to be his own doom through Aithusa. They are hidden, tortured, kept from living their truth, abandoned by everyone who should be leading and protecting them.

With Aithusa being born it means that at that point, Merlin had already fulfilled his destiny. At this point in time, the golden age is already there and it should have been a sign for Merlin to speak up about his magic. He never did, that's why Aithusa remains mute. And just like magic itself, when harmed or in danger, Aithusa can easily be used for evil.

Apart from the symbolism and their part in Arthur's death, Aithusa doesn't contribute much to the story, I think. Yes, they console Morgana and they are like the continuation of the Dragon lineage, but that's ultimately pointless. Aithusa will be, inevitably, be the last Dragon. Which is honestly really cruel, but again, parallel to Merlin himself. That's where Aithusa's arc ends, unfortuntaley. Personally, knowing all that, I find Aithusa hard to use as the character they are in canon. With what little defines their character, you have to ultimately change everything about them to use them in fun fics and comics and stuff. That's why they end up as a little dog creature so often.

Don't get me wrong, I love Aithusa. But I love FANON Aithusa, just like I prefer fanon Sir Leon over canon Sir Leon. Because fanon Aithusa is like a domesticated chicken that Merlin keeps in his rooms or fights custody over with Morgana while Arthur is either oblivious, supportive, or being gaslit. But maybe I am overlooking a lot of things. So, if any of you like to disagree or add anything to my points, feel free to engage ^^

#bbc merlin #merlin #Aithusa #faq #ask #answer #merlin meta #sorry if this wasn't what you expected #I never know what to do with Aithusa

[linkspooky]

Bungo Stray Dogs, Chapter 105.5 Thoughts.

Late. Late. Late. Meta on the newest Bungo Stray Dogs chapter. Dostoevsky easily turning around Dazai’s death trap and then setting each up a death trap Dazai is a twist that many people saw coming. In honesty Dazai and Dos-kun have a relationship much like L and Light Yagami where they are constantly one upping each other and going “I planned this all along...” and then “No, you fool! I knew what you were planning, and I planned this!” It’s even likely that Dazai is probably going to turn the tables on Dostoevsky and set yet another death trap for him. 

However, this quote in the chapter caught a lot of people’s eyes, especially fans of the Soukoku dynamic. Dostoevsky blames Dazai’s failure to kill him on the shallowness of the bond between Dazai and Chuuya. A lot of people are predicting that Dostoevsky is underesimtating the depth of their bond and that’s what is going to make them lose, and others think Dostoevsky is right on the money. 

My thoughts are under the cut. 

1. Chuuya, this is farewell to you too. 

Whether Dazai and Chuuya’s bond is shallow like Dostoevsky surmises, or much deeper is not really a question that has black and white answer to it, because Dazai is one a lying liar who lies, and two not even honest with himself about his own feelings. 

For example, it’s still up in the air whether or not Dazai was genuinely trying to kill Chuuya by drowning him. His words are often at contradictions to his actions. He tries to think of times where they connected, and the panels we are given indicate a sad flashback montage one would have when all the good times you’ve spent with a dear friend flash by your eyes.

Then, Dazai is like: Well, anyway have fun dying!

Dazai’s internal thoughts are obviously in contradiction to his words, after all a whole montage of times they did connect, even an image of them holding hands is shown to us on panel, and then the next thng we’re treated to is Dazai smiling in an over exaggerated fake way and then saying goodbye. 

However, Dazai’s feelings are often one thing and his actions are another. He often makes cruel or heartless decisions that are completely against his feelings because he deems them necessary. He could just be lying about the fact he never had any moments where he connected with Chuuya, but even if he lied about that it doesn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t genuinely trying to kill him. 

Dazai fully intended on drowning Dostoevsky there and reading his secrets from his body, and acts genuinely surprised when his plan doesn’t work. Which unless Dazai is going to pull a light Yagami “I always knew you were going to get out of my trap, so I set up another trap, a trap-trap!” Then he was making a serious attempt to kill both Dosteovsky and Chuuya. Which might be the true reason why Dostoevsky called their bond shallow, and why Dazai’s plans failed because whatever he might genuinely feel he often acts counter to those feelings. 

They work well together as a team, even after they are separated for years and only briefly reunited for defeating the guild, and then in the movie Dead Apple. However, I would say even if they work well together the relationship between them is a bit uneven. Chuuya clearly trusts Dazai, but whether Dazai trusts Chuuya is up in the air. After all we get this moment of camraderie between the two of them. 

Then, Dazai just leaves Chuuya there instead of carrying him back home. It’s obviously just played off as a joke, but Dazai has a tendency to treat Chuuya, and people in general in this way. He does a similar thing to Akutagawa at the end of the guild arc, giving him the praise he so desperately wanted, only to cut him off again and go back to ignoring him until the next time he conveniently leaves him. 

On the topic of Chuuya and Akutagawa and the further paralleling between them, Dazai treating Akutagawa as disposable or just a pawn to capture a larger objective is specifically what gets him killed in the fight against Fukuchi. Dazai’s long treatment of Akutagawa as more of a tool than a person who trusted him and depended on him has resulted in Akutagawa viewing his own life as worthless and a pittance to trade for Dazai’s respect and acknowledgement. 

It might not even be a Chuuya and Dazai thing, so much as the way Dazai tends to engage with people in general, Akutagawa trusts Dazai, Chuuya trusts Dazai, but does Dazai trust them? Relatonships that are mainly based off of transactions can be viewed as shallow. It might not be Dazai’s lack of understanding of Chuuya himself that Dostoevsky is commenting on, but rather how easily Dazai was able to write off Chuuya as a necessary sacrifice for bringing Dostoevsky down. 

Because, Dazai does understand Chuuya and relate to him. It comes across well in the novels at least which are where we get Dazai and Chuuya’s backstory. Dazai himself in Stormfront, organizes an entire militia more or less to take down Verlaine using his knowledge of Chuuya’s powers as a gravitational user because apparently he thinks all day long about ways to harass and annoy Chuuya. He also seems to be doing this for Chuuya’s sake, but once again if he’s doing it out of genuine affection and a desire to save him, or a desire not to lose a genuine asset to the mafia is up in the air. Like, part of the tragedy of Stormfront if Chuuya just goes right back to the Port Mafia, another organization that only wants to exploit him for his ability and has decieved him into believing he has friends and comrades their. Chuuya isn’t going to find his own humanity, in a giant machine that is the port mafia that treats individuals as easily replacable cogs. 

The next generation of Double Black is also clearly intended to succeed where Chuuya and Dazai failed as a partnership. Like, yes they were partners for several years and they still work well together, but they were a failed partnership. Dazai just went up and left. The relationship and their partnership is broken and has been for several years. The reason why might just be Dazai and Chuya carry just too much self hatred that they only negatively project the worst faults they find in themself onto each other. They’re not really using their shared understanding to grow together, so much as a reason to stay apart. 

“Your birth itself was a mistake. We’re the same. Is there really a point to suffering thtrough all that pain for a life that isn’t real?”

The voice was taunting him. 

“Shut up.” Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. He was most likely hearing things due to the drugs he was given. There was nobody there, but his mind was scartered, and the voice wouldn’t stop. 

“Screw you, Dazai.”

“THat’s the best comeback you could come up with?” 

Chuuya wanted nothing more than to slice off the ear the voice was whisepring into. He could see Dazai’s wavering shadow by his side, and he wanted to gauge out his eyes. 

“That’s just proof that you at least somewhere believe what I’m saying. Because deep down inside, you’re the same as me.” 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up! I’m me! I’m not some piece of shit like you!” 

The most recent fight between Shin-Soukoku and Fukuchi failed for two reasons, the first as stated above how Akutagawa considered his own life disposable and the second because they tried too hard to replicate the previous generation of Soukoku rather than focusing on how to surpass them and fight in their own way. 

The end result of Akutagawa and Atsushi’s relationship is also probably going to be them surpassing the previous two generations, by actually growing to like each other and like working together rather than just hating each other and having a begrudging respect. After all, Akutagawa’s interactions with Atushi has led to positive developments with him, including taking up Oda’s philosophy of not killing anyone while working in the mafia. 

Wheras I said before Chuuya and Dazai do have so much in common, but their relationship has been broken apart for years and they’re not really helping each other to grow to the same extent. Akutagawa and Atsushi would also, probably already like each other if not for Dazai. It’s Dazai who set them up against each other and made them hate each other, because he thought their rivalry would lead them to making each other stronger. Which like... what does that say about how Dazai sees his relationship with Chuuya?

 In Beast we’re treated to a brief glimpse at what their relationship would be if Dazai hadn’t pitted them against each other, and they’re both friendly and deeply understand the suffering the other has faced in the past. Atushi even opens up on the secret of his past in a way he’s never talked to anyone about it before. 

So, to sum it all up do I think the relationship between Chuuya and Dazai is shallow? Clearly, not. In the light novels we’re treated to the fact that they have a deep understanding of each other, and that Dazai will even pull out all the stops to fight against Verlaine when Verlaine tried to take him away from the mafia. 

However, does Dazai treat Chuuya as a trusted partner and friend? Not really. Dazai is a walking contradiction, so he can feel all of these things for Chuuya, and then decide to just either push him away, or even sacrifice him for the greater goal of taking down Dostoevsky. Rather than shallow I would say their bond is more uneven and tilted towards Dazai, Chuuya clearly trusts Dazai, but Dazai doesn’t really trust Chuuya enough to treat him like a person. This isn’t a shipping post and I’m not saying there’s no relationship there I spent the entire post talking about the ambiguity of their relationships especially in regards to Dazai’s feeling towards it. However, thematically as of right now they’re a bit of a failed relationship. They’ve just spent too many years apart, they’re not really working together in the story right now as much as they are working against each other, and Shin Soukoku is obviously set up to be a much more positive iteration of Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship.

#dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bsd meta #bungou stray dogs #skk #sskk #shin soukoku #soukoku #bsd spoilers #bsd 105.5 #bungou stray dogs 105.5 #bungou stray dogs spoilers #atsushi nakajima #Ryunosuke Akutagawa

[nateconnolly]

I made a Patreon lol.

Here's the free sample post:

THE CREATION MYTH OF KILL 6 BILLION DEMONS

INTRODUCTION

I love fantasy religions. I love it when fictional humans try to understand worlds like Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere and Tolkein’s Middle Earth through a religious lens—especially because in those books and in many others, the fantasy religions are somewhat true, and somewhat false. It’s really fun to look at a fictional universe through the eyes of a character who might not see things objectively. Religion usually plays a role in that. But, if I’m being honest, a lot of fantasy religions are just Christianity wearing a fun hat. Don’t get me wrong, I am fascinated by Chrisitianity, and I really enjoy a lot of fantasy versions of Christianity. But it’s a great special treat when a fantasy story goes the extra mile and portrays another concept of the divine. That’s one of many reasons that I love the webcomic Kill 6 Billion Demons. The webcomic’s fictional religion Atru has parallels to Taoism, Gnosticism, Advaita Vedanta, theothanatology, Biblical divine nomenclature, the list goes on. I just threw a lot of big scary words at you, but I promise, this is a beginner level essay. I’ll break everything down into bite-sized pieces. I just wanted to list out some of K6BD’s religious influences to show that they are complicated, and diverse.

This is specifically a essay about the creation narratives. K6BD is an amazing comic—later on, it tackles questions about time, free will, and optimistic nihilism, but I won’t dig into that stuff here. Those things would require their own essays. Here, I’m going to try to explain how the seven-part world came to be. More specifically, I’ll examine the stories that White Chain, Cio, Michael, and the old devil’s tale tell us; then I’ll look at fictional holy texts found in the Concordance.

I’ll also compare and contrast with a lot of real world religion and philosophy. I want to be clear that the creator Abaddon and I have never spoken. I don’t know where he got most of his inspiration. I’m not revealing any information that wasn’t already available, I’m just compiling it and offering my own thoughts. Unless I specifically quote Abaddon, assume that I’m not even talking about his inspirations. I’m drawing parallels because it’s fun, even though it probably won’t give us new insight into how the text was created.

I promise I’m not trying to convert you! I genuinely don’t want to make other people believe the religion that I believe—or any religion at all. I’m just trying to show you how understanding some real world religious and philosophical concepts can deepen your appreciation of K6BD. Obviously, there will be tons of spoilers, so go read the webcomic if you haven’t already. It’s absolutely genius.

Lastly, I want to say I will discuss suicide and murder.

Ok, let’s get started.

PART ONE: THE FIRST AND GREATEST DIVISION

Let There Be No Genesis

White Chain begins the history of the universe with the words, “Let there be no Genesis,” closely echoing the in-universe fictional Psalm I. “For indeed, there was [no Genesis]. God has always existed and has never existed.” As White Chain tells her story, we are shown the god YISUN. This figure is sometimes described with it/its or she/her pronouns, but for the sake of simplicity, I’m going to follow the example of the fictional Psalm I, and use he/him. I might call him “YISUN” or “God” with a capital G depending on the context.

YISUN was eternal, and the “undisputed master of the entire omniverse.” He predates everything else, and without him, nothing would exist.

YISUN has at least twelve bodies, probably more. Some are smiling, some look mad; some resemble insects or animals; most hold weapons; and all are different colors. The central white body has four arms. Abaddon has said that YISUN’s appearance is directly inspired by the Hindu god Vishvarupa.  Hindu gods are frequently depicted with multiple body parts, an artistic tradition that Doris Srinivasan calls “the multiplicity convention.” She explains some of the religious and artistic reasons that many Indian gods have multiple body parts in her book “Many Heads, Arms, and Eyes: Origin, Meaning, and Form of Multiplicity in Indian Art.” The tradition of Hinduism is long, and diverse, so the multiple limbs in one text can mean something very different from the multiple limbs elsewhere. Srinivasan closely examines a vast expanse of Indian history, and I don’t have time to present all her ideas. I would like to specifically focus on the interpretation that multiple limbs represent the manifestations of a singular godhead.

Srinivasan writes that “Multiple versions of a myth are facilitated by the idea that there exists multiple aspects or manifestations of a godhead.” Think of the difference between Greek and Hindu goddesses. Bruno Snell suggests “that these four women signalize the four aspects of all womanhood,” but Srinivasan qualifies his interpretation. The Olympian women “are not multiple forms of [one] Divine Woman, as is the case in Hinduism.” Artemis and Athena are different people who are both women, plural. Parvati, Sati, and Uma together are Woman, singular. Zeus, Demeter, and Poseidon are gods, plural. Shiva, Vishnu, and Krishna are God, singular. That’s not how all Hindus see things, but it is one Hindu perspective that I find especially comparable to K6BD.

Similarly, the multiple bodies are only manifestations of a single God: YISUN. All of his bodies are a single person. In Hinduism, the plurality of the divine can be seen as empowering and liberating. Multiple body parts signify that the god is a well-rounded entity. But Abaddon makes it look like a curse. He turns the artistic convention around. Using the same symbolism and metaphysics, he tells a radically different story. As White Chain says, “Being was only circular.” “YISUN had no equal… It was a wretched life, without meaning or perception. Imagine infinite stories to tell… and nobody to tell them to.” Perfection is lonely. At this point, YISUN is the only thing that exists, and that can’t be fun. All those arms and heads cannot satisfy YISUN’s need for companionship. It’s fascinating to me that when White Chain says YISUN had no one to whom it could tell its stories, Abaddon chose to illustrate multiple heads right next to each other. Even if those heads told each other stories, the speaker and the listener would still be the same person. Dissatisfaction with isolation is why YISUN created the world.

Although not all Hindus follow the school of Advaita Vedanta, in this case, I think it will be helpful to compare and contrast with Advaita. As Ram Shanker Misra writes in “The Integral Advaitism of Sri Aurobindo,” “Brahman [ is] perfect, absolute, infinite, need[s] nothing, [and] desir[es] nothing…” Brahman is full of all perfections. And to say that Brahman has some purpose in creating the world will mean that [Brahman] wants to attain through the process of creation something which it has not. And that is impossible.”

But that’s exactly why YISUN created this world. He wants to gain something that he does not have: companionship.The universe is God’s escape from himself. There was no Genesis, but there was “the first and greatest division: division of self”: “God committed holy suicide.”

2. The Divine Suicide

White Chain’s story is similar to Friedrich Nietzsche’s famous claim that “God is dead,” but Nietzsche did not mean God was a real entity that had literally died. He meant that intellectually, it was impossible to continue believing in God, and that all intellectual achievements founded on belief in Him had to be abandoned. Nietzsche’s claim is a famous example of a philosophical school of thought called death of God theology, also called “theothanatology,” which means “the study of God’s death” in Greek.

“Death” can mean a lot of different things in this context. Sometimes it’s metaphorical, sometimes it’s literal, and usually, it’s a very confusing mixture of both.

Nietzsche proposed the death of God as a social claim about humans. He’s talking about what we can believe, what we should do, and what we need to accept. God never really existed, but as religion loses followers and influence, even the idea of God has begun to “die” because it no longer has power over the real world.

“Death” can also mean God exists, but in a way radically different from what people usually mean when they say “God.” The Rabbi and philosopher Richard L. Rubenstein thought God exists as a “ground of being,” but not as a supernatural entity that made a covenant with Abraham. Rubenstein proposed the death of God as an intellectual change in what humans think the word “God” means.

And, finally, “death” can just literally mean “death.” The Protestant theologian Thomas J.J. Altizer wrote “we shall understand the death of God as an historical event: God has died in our time, in

our history, in our existence.” This isn’t a social claim about humans—it’s a metaphysical claim about God.

Death of God theologians usually mean more than one thing when they say God is dead. Nietzsche wasn’t just trying to convince Christians to become atheists; he was also trying to convince many atheists that they disbelieved in God in the wrong way. Altizer had radical thoughts about what human beings are able to believe.

White Chain means that God is dead in the literal sense. She is proposing a metaphysical belief that God, as a historical figure, chose to actually kill himself. White Chain is not rejecting or critiquing religion—she’s asserting that her religion, in which God has died, is fact.

You can see slight parallels to Nietzsche, Rubenstein, Altizer, Hegel, Zizek, and Blake in White Chain’s version of the fictional religion Atru. But there is no better comparison than the king of sad philosophers Philipp Mainlander.

Mainlander was an atheist—but not in the sense that people usually mean when they say “atheist.” Mainlander believed that there was a God at some time, but that time is now over. There isn’t a God anymore. Mainlander is pretty unique among death of God theologians because he explicitly describes God’s death as a suicide. Whittaker explains that Mainlander thought “[a]ll things have their origin in what may be called… the ‘will’ of the absolute being… to annihilate itself.” Essentially, the cause of the universe is God’s suicidal desires.

God was a “real unity,” but his death caused a “collective unity”—that’s the universe where we live now. God had been a total and undivided One, but now the universe is made of distinct parts. God cut himself apart into the pieces of the universe. God created the world by becoming it, and he became the world by dying.

Mainlander said “the knowledge that life is worthless is the flower of all human knowledge.” He thought suicide was desirable, and ultimately, he put his money where his mouth was. The biggest difference between Mainlander and White Chain is that she doesn’t seem to think ordinary people such as herself should follow God’s suicidal example. Even beyond the views of a specific character, the story of Kill 6 Billion Demons reads as an affirmation of life’s beauty and value.

But the webcomic clearly argues that making a better world is a bloody project. So it should come as no surprise that making the world itself involved bloodshed. First and foremost, the blood of God. What’s so interesting to me is that both White Chain and Mainlander equate God’s suicide to the creation of the world. Our life comes from God’s death. Creation and destruction aren’t opposites—they’re different ways of looking at the same process. At the end of Book 2, Allison destroys Mottom’s evil tree and a lot of her palace—but this destruction is also part of the creation of a more just and free world.

So, what did God’s destruction create? What came after YISUN?

3. The Duality of Un and Yis

The destruction of the total unity creates duality. I know that’s a little confusing because YISUN had many faces, but remember that behind all of those faces was one God, and only one. Not anymore. “From division was birthed duality. White Un, Lord of empty and still places, master of all that is not. Black Yis, infinite mother of the rampant flame. Master of all that is''

I cannot avoid comparing the White and Black gods to the Yin and Yang—a spinning black and white symbol usually associated with the religion Taoism. Yin and Yang represent a cosmic duality. Yin is associated with femininity, darkness, passivity, and even numbers, among other things. Yang is associated with masculinity, light, activity, and odd numbers, among other things. Mainstream Taoist philosophy asserts that the universe can be understood through duality. So, why are these pairs important? And why do things get paired together in the first place?

As is written in the foundational Taoist text the Tao Te Ching, “Being and non-being create each other. Difficult and easy support each other. Long and short define each other. High and low depend on each other. Before and after follow each other.” What’s so interesting about the pairs is they “create,” “support,” “define,” and “depend on” each other. Black can’t exist without white, and white cannot exist without black.

As the Encyclopedia of Philosophy puts it, “...yinyang is emblematic of valuational equality rooted in the unified, dynamic, and harmonized structure of the cosmos. As such, it has served as a heuristic mechanism for formulating a coherent view of the world…” Essentially, neither of these opposites are “dominant” or “truer.” Choosing one side won’t help you understand the universe because the universe is their partnership. Their equality gives “structure to the cosmos.” That structure is order, not chaos, but it is differentiated. There are two different things: Yin and Yang. They contradict each other, but at the same time, they make the universe. Yin and Yang are a productive paradox.

I’d like to return to the notion that “being and non-being create each other.” At this stage of creation in K6BD, UN and YIS could not exist without each other. Their very existence is the fact that they are not a unity. If there was only one of them, then there wouldn’t have been a division—and they are nothing more than the product of division. Just like how being and non-being create each other, the Master of All That Is and the Master of All That Is Not create each other. YISUN was characterized by his totality—he was the total sum of the omniverse, there was nothing else. After the division, Un and Yis experience otherness. The first otherness in the omniverse. It’s difficult for them to find balance—in fact, they immediately went to war for seven years. At the end of their seven-year war, Un and Yis made love for seven days.

I want to be very clear that this is not a depiction of actual Taoism. Yin and Yang are not gods with faces and minds. Notably, the Tao Te Ching asserts that yin and yang are “older than God.” so make of that what you will. But I think Taoism is thematically relevant to this era. Two opposites have to come into balance with each other. The whole universe is a duality of interconnected forces.

K6BD repeatedly emphasizes the need for community. As Allison says at the end of King of Swords, “I couldn’t have done this without any of you… We make mistakes. We learn from each other. We all still have so much to learn. Once I saw that as a weakness, now I’m certain it’s not. Someone who lives still thinking like that… struggling to do everything themselves… I can’t help but think how alone they must be.”

YISUN had to do everything all by himself, and we saw that Allison was right—isolation was a struggle, even for God. But the struggle is over, and in its place is duality. Partnership. The first community.

These are the first four parts of a fourteen-part critical essay. You can read the rest here.

Bibliography is on the free Patreon post.

#patreon #nate's writing #original post

[starberry-cupcake]

You are 100% completely correct about the tagline not being an effective summary of the first book and flattening the scope of the series. I think that's a pretty common opinion in the fandom! I guess they thought "Genre-defying work of literary genius (but it's also very fun)" wouldn't sell and went for content instead. But I think the mismatch of the tagline and the thematic nature of the books is part of why TLT fans evangelize so hard. Lesbian necromancers in space BUT WAIT IT'S SO MUCH MORE! COME BACK!! LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE CLASSICS PARALLELS!!!

Anyway I'm truly enjoying your reactions and I look forward to your Harrow journey <3

You're giving me an excuse to talk about editing things, so I apologize in advance for the long response :') This is all my personal opinion as someone who's new to this (the books, not the editing part), so I'm sorry if I say something incorrect 🙏

The ebook doesn't have the back blurb, so I don't know what they did with that (maybe it's amazing!), but this book is imo an ideal candidate for the "quote from the book and absolutely nothing else" back cover blurb choice. Which is a risky move to some but has worked for best sellers in the past.

I think that because:

the very subjective third person the first book uses is just as good as a first person to provide the reader with an idea of the narrative perspective (maybe even more so, because the subjective third is a very contemporary thing)

the book works better without the reader being introduced to anything at all, not even the context of space, even if you're wondering what thanergy is and crying about it halfway, it enriches the Gideon perspective and encourages you to think outside the box

the author (in my ignorant opinion as a new reader) seems to be at peace with this and has a very high amount of trust in the book working without hand-holding the reader at any given time, and that the knowledge will come to those who care to continue trusting in it, which I think deserves just the same amount of trust from the editing choices

With the font choice for the title and the cover illustration, a quote in the back blurb would make this book absolutely good to go imo. Especially because Gideon is book 1 and Gideon wears sunglasses and the juxtaposition of her look with the sunglasses, plus her tone in a well chosen quote, is a good indicator of a lot of things.

ANYWAY, I hope that makes sense and explains a bit more of what I was thinking about when writing those comments. I'm a bit intimidated with giving opinions at this point, since I don't know much but here we are. Thank you for reading my silly ramblings and for being interested enough to keep reading them ♥

#luly reacts to tlt #ask #carys-the-ninth

[hwaightme]

Your fan, San (part 2)

(part 1) (your fan ml)

💬 pairing: san x interpreter!reader 💬 genre: romance, fluff, mutual pining, drama 💬 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if san was stanning you 💬 wordcount: 4.5k 💬 warnings/tags: language, conflict, two shy dorks, homie sabotage?, misunderstandings, love above all, touring, busy life, reader is a pro linguist, we stan simpteez, unedited oop- 💬 taglist: @acciocriativity, @doom-fics, @layzfeelit @jcngh0-hq @black--awsum @honey-lemon-goose @i-luvsang @jackinmyarea , @izuijin @justhere4kpop 💬 a/n: Hello there <3 here is PART 2 of YOUR FAN SAN!! Hopeless romantic? Check. Chaotic? Check... and the FINALE is coming soon??? ;~; P.S. that uni life do be getting wild so apologies if I'll be haphazardly uploading or if trains of thought are derailed~

'The Beauty of Falling in Love - a collection of short stories, poems and musings'

That was the title of the book you had to translate. And if you were not a (fully) sappy and sentimental mess before, you sure as hell were now. Because each little chapter, be it an anonymous recollection of favourite moments with a loved one, or a vignette dedicated to someone special, was some of the most heartwarming work you have ever read.

Each piece sounded so personal, so real, that you found yourself spending more time than usual on this commission. You had made an agreement with the client that they would be sending chapters out one by one, and prior to receiving one, you would send back a completed translation.

It was an easy enough arrangement, and was not too taxing when it came to your personal time. You could ruin your sleep schedule to your heart's content by watching dramas that you had missed whilst on tour, could make late night trips to the convenience store because you did not want to be caught in the businessperson rush, could catch up with people who you had inadvertently ghosted because of work and inability to find words when you wanted to.

Outside of your preferred mode of relaxation, you kept in touch with some of the members of ATEEZ, thanks to a group chat that San had created and 'simply had to add you' - at least that was how he had advertised it. The group chat consisted of him, you, Wooyoung, Yunho and Yeosang, who to you seemed like a random pick, since you did not interact with neither Yunho nor Yeosang as much.

But over a very short period of time this had changed for the better, and you had grown very comfortable, attached even, to the chaotic quartet. If anything this it was a top up vaccine for being able to keep up with the ATEEZ chaos - otherwise you would be familiarising yourself with it again for tour, as if it was the first day of work.

Little did you know, you were talking with the Operation ring leaders + Yeosang who was in it for the gossip, and to control the fire... in the way he wished. It was more or less a regular conversation, aside from San occasionally panicking and running up to one of the guys for advice.

"Yeo why did you write 'AMOGUS'?"

"Don't question me. This is art- ah see, Y/N sent the prayer hands emoji, she agrees." Yeosang responded, pointing at his phone screen.

"I feel like you guys are six parallel universes ahead of me and I don't like it."

"Make that ten, you boomer."

"This is an ancient meme you are quoting Yeo~" Wooyoung joined in, trying to poke fun at his friend.

"Say that again, the king of social boomers? Are you salty that I did not put hyung after AMOGUS because it's old?"

"What even is this chat-" Mingi, who was observing from his position lying across three dining chairs, threw the question out into the air.

"It is us trying to force San to dm Y/N by pushing them together like two dolls." Wooyoung, slightly irritated, explained.

"Man, you really are done." Mingi responded, chuckling

"I don't know, am I? San is breaking up with me so I am going through all stages of grief."

"Double u tee eff?" San raised an eyebrow and stared at Wooyoung, phone loose in his hands.

"How far along is she?"

"She isn't pregnant dude."

"Ugh you know what I mean."

"Like... a third of the way?"

"Damn you guys are slow as shit. We planned for this to take how long? You even have the confession already written up for the last chapter, this is kind of ridiculous. You know what, hold up."

Wooyoung tackled San, and thanks to the surprise nature of the attack, got the perfect opportunity to grab his friend's phone. After securing 'the bag', Wooyoung strode off to the other side of the room, clicking away, while San attempted to stand up, shouting.

Yunho seemed to have caught onto what the other was about to do, as he launched himself at the shorter man sat on the sofa and splayed himself right over like a blanket.

"No hard feelings bro this is necessary."

As San way trying to battle his way out, but was further restrained by Yeosang who had finally stopped taking photos, Wooyoung giggled deviously and locked the phone again, sauntering back with a devilish grin and handing it to San.

"It is done. You can thank me later."

"What did you do?"

"Something that you should have done like... a year ago."

"DID YOU TEXT HER?"

"Yeah. And don't worry, nothing Woo-style, you grilled me enough times for me to remember her preferences. Plus, I know how to text like you."

"And when did that come in handy?"

"Uh... I have to go water my fish BYEEE~" Wooyoung quickly departed from the living room sprinting back to the dorm, while San remained in shock, swiping at the screen to reveal the message that his friend had sent on his behalf.

Damn. It really was just like him.

The text came to you as a surprise. Though you have had some conversations over private message before, most of them had been in some way work related. Not San messaging you out of the blue to ask how you were and that you should catch up.

With the group chat all but abandoned, you happily launched into texting San. There was never any pressure for a phone call, which you greatly appreciated, and there was no specific guidelines that either of you enforced - without a care you double, triple, quadruple texted, abruptly disappeared only to reappear with a link or a photo... main things was that together, you kept your conversation alive and thriving.

You would have never, not in a million years, imagined yourself getting this close to San, or anyone with a celebrity status for that matter. Simply because you felt like they would need and deserve more than you could offer socially. You were all about human connection and uniting minds, but when it came to your own personal preferences, you would much rather write out your thoughts in astonishing detail and hit send, than say the same things out loud and to somebody in person.

And yet, contrary to your assumptions and what you could only say had been prejudice on your part, San was supportive of you and of your choices, saying he could 'imagine your voice well enough anyways'. He steered clear of pushing you to communicate in a style that was not yours; though you did enjoy hearing his voice, and would be lying if you said he was not a charmer, you could not bring yourself to reciprocate that approach. It was too overwhelming to do during the time that you had allocated for yourself as your regenerative state. And San made your heart melt by showing that he got that, without you having to tear yourself apart and explain.

To him it had been fairly easy to figure out that you were a text over call kind of person, and was something that he had advertised to the Operation Love Language squad. Given your notes app being packed, post it notes sometimes threatening to pour out of your bag, and him spotting you willingly sitting far away from any groups so you could watch something, earphones in, all pointed to that conclusion. And San found that he liked it more than he would have guessed.

Each text was like a memory, and an expression not only of something that they wanted to blurt out, but more often than not of a considered, weighed out opinion, even if it was onomatopoeia or a string of emojis. He would have never been able to get to know you like he did over text, and get so close to you that you were now happily discussing with him your own worries, and passions, and dreams, not just responding to his stream of musings and questions.

It was through one of these extensive texting sessions that you had revealed to San your endeavors as a freelance translator, and gushed about the commission you were working on.

This made San's thumbs freeze midway through typing. Carried away and impatient, he had tried to strike on all fronts, and now that he was in continuous communication with you, he regretted it. Deeply. Except he did not yet know just how risky the decision to parade as someone he was not could be.

After the first time you had mentioned your side work, he had begun to get progressively more quiet. Bit by bit. Until his responses to you turned almost into a conversation with a wall. You were unable to figure out just what had gotten into San, what had changed?

You turned to the work you were meant to translate as a distraction, expecting that the client would have shared the new chapter with you already... but no such thing.

Instead, there was an order cancellation, and a short apology.

What did you do wrong?

What happened?

Was there something that had not been quite right?

You looked over your already completed translations - you were searching for anything to suggest a reason for cancellation. The words appeared blurry, fading into one big mush. It was all terrible... wasn't it?

Who were you kidding you were probably rusty after not working with fiction for so long, and for not focusing hard enough. You had stopped paying attention to the craft. Who even were you? And interpreter, a translator, or a fraud?

You looked at the cancellation email again, knowing full well that it was pointless to try and reach the customer - they might have blocked you for all you knew. This hurt. This really hurt.

You saw that San had responded to your messages, again in a weirdly cheery tone, asking you how you are and what you have been up to? San would understand... right? San would listen to you...?

So you did something that you yourself did not expect, and pressed on the call button. He picked up on the first ring.

He sounded nervous, and almost tearful as you bared all and talked him through what had just happened. You needed him. He was the only one who had understood your language.

When you told him that you were probably over reacting and just humiliating yourself by being 'so deep in sad mode' over a whole lot of nothing, he instantly was there to catch you and call you out. He emphasised the importance of your work, of the beautiful job you had done so far... but then halted, unsure of how to proceed.

This left you confused. He then picked his words in a strangely careful manner, and almost beginning to side with the customer, saying how maybe it was for the better, and that now at least you could relax and find another project...

"San. This is really unlike you. What is up with that personality switch?"

"What do you mean Y/N? It's nothing-"

"I have an ear for speech, San, if there is anyone who could be a bullshit filter, it is me."

Silence.

More silence.

You were about to call out to him again, when you hear a muffled, barely there whisper:

"I'm sorry..."

You were sent reeling. What did he mean? Why was he sorry?

"I... it was me. Y/N. I am sorry. I really did not mean it to turn out that way I-"

"Okay first of all, why?"

"I..."

"Second of all, whilst I am grateful for your support and stuff, it does make me uncomfortable."

"I'm-"

"Thirdly, actually you know what focus on point number one."

When you did not hear an answer, you tried again: "Hello? I am waiting."

"I like you."

"...What?" you were left in shock.

You had suppressed your feelings for San in the deepest caverns of your soul out of the terror that it was bound to be unrequited, but here you were. Listening to that same man who had supported you from the beginning of your career to now (and exposing yet another ridiculous attempt at that), who had read your quirks and style and knew you better than most. Listening to him confess.

"I... how do I say this... it has been a while. A long while. I have been trying to approach you but... I was either too shy for it, or the attempts were just ridiculous. So we- so I came up with this idea, to try and tell you... this book right. The Beauty of Falling in Love. It is... it spoke to me. And I had planned to give it to you piece by piece until I could then reveal myself to you... but then we started talking outside of that and then I panicked and- yeah, I am... I am just so sorry, this is confusing as hell."

"Wait... wait wait... this is... so were you paying me to get me to like you? Was that what you were doing?"

"GOSH! NO! NO, DON'T MISUNDERSTAND!"

"Look. As much as I do like bringing joy to people through my work, this crosses a line. And it's not the fact that you ordered something from me - hell, support the artist right? It's the fact that you decided to be somebody else. You decided to conceal yourself to talk to me. Like you did not trust me. Even though you want me to like you.

I'll be returning the money to you shortly. M-kay? And... talk on stage, I guess."

Before San could respond, you ended the call sharply. No more phone calls. They were cursed, apparently.

With these thoughts, and a heavy heart, you departed for Japan.

---

"Maybe... just maybe if you had seen it through and not abandoned ship... your ship could have sailed?"

"Yunho just because it's your idea does not mean is good!" San retorted, having recounted the story to the members, gone into full crisis mode.

"Hello!? You agreed? I am just generating ideas here."

"I think we all blew this out of proportion and did not consider risks... at all." Mingi interjected, massaging his temples.

"You guys, I have an idea-" Wooyoung began, but was quickly cut off by San, who was already half way out of the door.

"You know what? I am done with the ideas. I will just do what I think is right."

---

You were conflicted. In a way, you had gotten what you wanted. A confession from your crush that you had been quietly keeping in the shadows. But at the same time, your anxiety spiked. Were you that unapproachable that San had to have twisted everything to get to you? Was your work more entertaining than you could ever be?

With these thoughts, and a heavy heart, you departed for Japan.

If your presence was not explicitly required at the venue, you would not go. Once an event ended, you would leave. If anything, you were acting just like any employee would.

You were trying to bury the conflicting feelings that you were experiencing. To an extent, you felt disrespected. Like you had been mistreated via the means of 'i am using your translation services so you should love me'. And it was one unpleasant thought.

So, you stuck to what you knew and were more or less confident in. Words that were not yours. ideas that were not yours. Feelings that were not yours.

In a matter of an hour after the first small event, however, you could not sulk in your room how you wanted, thanks to a random slip of paper being shoved under your door. You ran across the room and slammed it open in an attempt to catch the culprit, but there was no one in sight.

You gingerly picked up the papers, and read. It was unmistakable. It was the next chapter of the book, with an interesting translation on another sheet of paper, and an additional note.

"I am sorry, and I can only hope that you will read this and let me fight. <3 San"

As much as you were ready to forgive him then and there, you decided that you wanted to see just how far he was going to go.

The next morning - another letter had arrived. The next chapter, a translation, and another note.

During filming for a morning show, San had shot you numerous glances in an attempt to see whether you were even reading what he had been Amazon Priming to your room, but with a cheeky smile dancing on your lips, you let your fun continue.

Another package.

And another.

And another. Until, finally, the last chapter had arrived. At least that was what you thought right up until the evening of the same day. You had assumed that it was going to now be your turn to act, or at least to start talking again, but a loud knock jolted you out of your thoughts.

And another.

And another knock on the door. This man was an unstoppable force.

"I... I translated the last one. Well, tried to."

"But there were only eleven stories-"

"Nope, twelve. Here."

You saw a two pieces of paper appear from under the door, just like before. Except instead of the Korean page being a scan from the book, it was evidently a document that either San... or somebody else, had typed up, and then managed to print.

To be respectful, you attempted to read the Japanese, but soon enough gave up since the kanji somehow managed to look cursive, and instead took the Korean text in your hands.

You took a seat with your back against the door and knees almost flush against your chest, and began to read, your heart rate picking up pace as soon as you saw "Dear Y/N,".

It began as a little story. A re-telling of how both of you had met, and how you had come to own a little space in his heart, eventually leading to him simply giving it to you.

"Did you know that you look so beautiful in those moments when you don't think anyone is watching? The more I think about it, the more I feel like it has been what had drawn me in. How you typed and typed on your phone. If time allowed, I liked to try guessing whether you were going to switch the keyboard at some point or not. How you were and are in your element. And of course, how you are, simply, you."

He recalled the moments that you two had shared. The levels of pride and admiration he felt when he saw you being approached and congratulated by the fans, and when he could take a moment to just enjoy what you did.

San moved to explaining 'the plan' to you, and though you were ready to scold him then and there (especially since there was the door between you that made confrontation easier), you could not help but admit that the general notion (aside from making affection and crushing on someone a monetary exchange - better not put feels on Etsy) was heartwarming.

As it turned out, both of you were shy dorks who could not act on feelings. Admittedly, one of you was a LOUD shy dork and the other a 'language is life but still can't read between the lines' shy dork, but at least you made it here.

San was a nervous wreck, barely stopping himself from either pacing up and down the corridor or going into a meltdown and lying face down on the carpet. He already looked suspicious enough as is, just standing by a random hotel number like a vampire who had been refused entry.

Or perhaps more accurately, like a cat who had been shut out of the house and was now desperately trying to claw its way back in.

But that stress was quickly washed away when your form suddenly appeared before him, peeking out, drowning in an oversized hoodie. The papers were still clenched in your hand as you motioned for San to come in.

You waited until he was right in the middle of the room before closing the door. Part of you was afraid that he was going to nope out at any moment. You needed the reassurance. The confidence that was normally there when you were working. But every fiber of your being was screaming in protest, wanting simply to hide.

You observed him. He looked like he was barely breathing.

"I... really I am... so sorry... again... I know that it was so fooli-"

"私でもあなたのことが好きだ..." (I like you too)

"eXCUSEME?!"

"All this translating and you still can't process?" you joked, but began to pull on the drawstrings of your hoodie in an attempt to make your face disappear.

"ohHH NoONOOO I just want to hear you say it in every language that you know!!!" San exclaimed and in a matter of seconds was inches away, peeking at what was not yet concealed by the fluffy cotton.

As he leaned closer and closer, flustering you (and himself) in the process and took both of your hands in his, in the last leap of bravery you whispered:

"Well that, you'll have to earn, San. And I don't take traditional currency."

"You will never let that go."

"Never ever, Choi San, it's a core memory now."

"Well hey at least it means you are not letting go of me~"

"Oh the way you twist words..."

"Like you twist me around your finger, not to give you an ego trip or anything..."

"It's 'wrap'. The correct word is 'wrap' around a finger."

"Okay you know what how about I translate it to body language?" he puckered his lips, making you giggle.

"As long as I don't need to correct grammatical errors."

"Now now I'd say I'm fluent."

--

The habit of sliding notes under your door or passing them to you did not stop - it only got stronger and became an 'any location', Mission Impossible note transfer agreement.

It had become something of a game, muddling languages together and writing near-nonsense just to sit there almost crying, trying not to laugh.

Soon enough, the game spread to Wooyoung, who would on occasion intercept the messages and add in his own flair, and soon enough to a curious Yunho and Mingi, who then turned it into impromptu paper plane throwing tournaments.

Really, the only reason why Hongjoong did not intercept was because you managed to at least keep the messages under strict PG rating and had good aim - with a saving swoop you had managed to return one such airmail right into San's lap during a fan sign, leading ATINY to give you an additional "aimbot" title.

It did not matter what the schedule was, you left each other encouraging notes (and without the other knowing, stored them away in your luggage).

"Good luck being the first one to get hair and makeup done..."

"Good luck with the translation deal on the book <3" (after an entire evening of a pouting and pleading San, you had reached out to the editors of the romance book you had translated for him, and now were in very promising negotiations)

You raced ahead, in time with each other, creating your own language.

The extended time ATEEZ had spent in Japan was coming to an end, and in the blink of an eye, it was the final concert. The "closing remarks", the epilogue.

You were prepared to interpret in full, as always. One member down. Another... finally, it was only San left. The other members were looking at him expectantly, while some sent glances in your approximate direction.

You took Hongjoong's tranquility and him nudging San in the shoulder as a sign that no, you will not have to pretend he said something different and double speak it - whatever he was about to do was, apparently, captain certified.

At that moment, San pulled out a note from a pocket that you had no idea even existed. The action seemed to have the same effect on ATINY as they "oooohed" - Yunho fake whispered into the microphone that San was now a part-time magician, so these things were the norm.

You had your microphone at the ready. With bated breath, you waited for San to begin. And that, he did.

In Japanese.

Grammatically correct, coherent and well-delivered Japanese.

Even though some of the phrases were obviously not his style and word selection, leading you to imagine him poring over this text like he was writing the declaration of independence with the boys, it was him. It was his feeling. It was his message.

Your arm fell to your side with a thud, and you were grateful that your microphone had been turned off for the time being. You caught yourself gaping, and had to forcibly compose yourself to reveal only a soft smile, as you took the scene in.

San was not exactly trying to hide that he was paying special attention to a specific part of the arena, with his body turned almost completely in your direction and only a few glances off to the sides and at the note.

"...and I hope that we will always be together, as one, and share this world. sometimes there may be struggle, there may be darkness, but WE," he makes a grand gesture with his hand, as if highlighting the area in front of him, but really it was just to, again, symbolise that certain someone at the forefront of his mind, "will last, and be the light."

The crowd roared, and you could allow yourself to internally combust as you watched ATEEZ wave, bow and bid their farewells.

Some things did not need a translation to be understood, and some things were not up for interpretation.

Like how San sprinted to you as soon as he was out of public sight. How he swept you off your feet both literally and metaphorically.

How Jongho muttered 'get a room', but still smiled at both of you when he passed by.

How, upon your return to South Korea, he had practically made it his mission to dote on you, and any moment he got, show that you were together.

Matching plushies? Check.

Basically exposing you both on Late Night Dive (though there was not really anything to expose because the entire ordeal was almost a live streamed ATEEZ drama)? Check.

Happily chatting away with ATINY about love and about finding it, sending loving stares your way? Check.

This was the love language you shared. No hiding, no scheming. Two native speakers, who found each other in translation.

#k-labels #san x reader #choi san x reader #ateez san x reader #choi san #san x y/n #choi san x y/n #ateez san #ateez san fluff #your fan series #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #kpop writers #kpop writing #hwaightme #ateez x reader #ateez au #ateez wooyoung #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang

[gayofthefae]

There's a certain way about the way the character description of Mike says he's never like a girl before like Will. The solidarity of their characters from the beginning of their relationship, mutual understanding. And the phrasing "you're destroying everything and for what? so you can swap spit with some stupid girl?" The incredulousness of it. The offense taken. Almost a subtext of "I thought we were on the same page about this, like everything. I wasn't leaving for a girl and you weren't leaving me behind in that." Not even to be together, just to say "Lucas and Dustin will like girls, will date girls, and I'll be happy for them. That was always the plan. And we would be happy for them together. And we would sit back and be us. And now you're leaving me too."

And that's why everything Mike says hurts so much. Not because he means it bad. "It's not my fault you don't like girls" doesn't hurt because he believes Mike is homophobic, it hurts because it isolates him. You don't. Unlike me. Feelings aside, this is one of the first things they haven't done together. To quote Nancy this season, as the "Bylers" always parallel each other, "Maybe we just don't understand each other anymore." Mike says "It's not my fault I moved on and you didn't". Then he says "What did you think, really?" And that, talking about it like it was always inevitable, is what hurts too. Will didn't think they were gonna play games in Mike's basement for the rest of their lives. He repeats it because it's a fun idea if really accessible, but Mike was the one to say that the first time. He spits "I really did" back at him. In a way, "How dare you not." Will standing his ground is him saying "I'm not the stupid one here. I didn't think we were never gonna grow up. But sorry for thinking that as we grew up you wouldn't leave me behind."

Mike and Will were the last two to not like girls. That's what that fight is about. Will hadn't been truly alone in that way since he was five because of Mike. And because of that order, Mike was the only one with the capacity to leave him alone in this. But for years, he didn't. And the natural assumption would be that he wouldn't. Not even because he assumed Mike way gay, just because...it's almost a values thing. Like "I thought we were on the same page about this". Like maybe Mike would like a girl. But he would stay. That instinctive trust that you don't really think through hard enough to put into words that might sound a little illogical if said out loud in the way that Mike throws them back at him. But like Will retorted, "Well, I'm sorry for trusting you." And I'm sure it hurt, too, to watch Mike and Lucas bond like this over having girlfriends. And then Dustin had one too and he was happy for him. He didn't seem to mind too much, even when Mike was late to their movies, he didn't say a thing. Because Mike was still showing up. But then Mike and Lucas formed their own little alliance of "guys with girlfriends" and forgot about him. Not just leaving Will behind in their solidarity but finding someone new to share it with. Of course Lucas is their friend but to form this new duo without Will - it hurts.

That fight wasn't just about Mike leaving Will for El when he had feelings for him. It was about Mike leaving him behind. For a girl. It was about an unspoken promise being broken. And Mike making Will doubt that it was ever even there. Making him feel "Stupid. So stupid" for ever believing it was.

And that's why the resolution is good too, as simple as it may have been. Because "What if you wanna join a new party?" is Mike saying "I don't wanna let go of you", and Will saying "not possible" is him promising "I didn't let go when I thought you did". And season 3 is important, too, in how Mike takes that adjustment to "El is now a part of our party" instead of "I'm leaving you for El".

#byler #byler fight #will byers #stranger things #byler subtext #subtext #textual analysis

[emarasmoak]

The Rings of Power showrunners discuss, at length, that huge Sauron reveal

JD Payne: [Vickers] did eventually know. We kept it very close to the vest for a while. He read a monologue from Richard the Third. At certain points he suspected [Halbrand was Sauron], he was putting it all together like, ‘Okay, they're having me read deep English canon villains.’ We didn't tell him from moment one that this was what was happening. We let him discover it.

Patrick McKay: Charlie's amazing and enormously talented. And we were thrilled to get him. He actually read originally for Elrond. But this character was always Sauron. One of the initial sparks and ideas and, in our opinion, right or wrong, a reason to do the entire show, is that Galadriel talks about Sauron in the books in a way that indicates that she knew him really well.

JD Payne: [Quoting Galadriel in Fellowship of the Ring] ‘I perceive the Dark Lord and know his mind, or all of his mind that concerns the Elves, and he gropes ever to see me and my thoughts. But still, the door is shut.’ The idea of ‘still the door is shut’, that he's been reaching after her for a long time, and there's this sense of back and forth between them – we found that endlessly fascinating. And we said, ‘There's an entire history between them. He's not just some eye in the sky, who's looking at it from afar, there's a relationship. And so, how could you have a relationship between the Dark Lord and Galadriel, in a way that lets them get to an interesting place? If she knew it was him from the beginning, obviously she would reject him out of hand, because we know from the legendarium that he was responsible for her brother's death. We know that he has this desire to heal the world, and she has this heroic desire to fix the world. So if we could put them in parallel to each other without exactly knowing who he was, there was an opportunity there.

Patrick McKay: Two other things to add. There’s this whole idea from Tolkien's letters and other writings where he talks about how Sauron wasn't evil in the beginning. Elrond says in the book: ‘Nothing is evil the beginning, even Sauron was not so.’ Immediately, we're thinking about [the TV series] Breaking Bad. We're thinking about Tony Soprano [from The Sopranos], these characters who are these enormous, larger-than-life modern villains, but have this other side. You go back and forth: do I hate them? Do I love them? Are they seducing me? We thought that was really rich terrain. And then, Tolkien had this idea of chance meetings throughout his books – that chance meetings are preordained in Middle Earth. So, what if Sauron is in a place where he's repentant and lost? And Galadriel’s in a place where she's desperate and obsessed. What might happen if they meet? Maybe they'd be friends? Maybe they’d get along? The idea of a non-romantic, cosmic connection seemed so pregnant with possibilities. That was by far the hardest thing that we worked on. We have this idea that, if you watch it again, every single thing he says is not a lie. This isn't like a rug poll. We're not trying to shock people. We want to hopefully reward close viewing if you’re suspicious of him early. That's a whole valid version of the show, we felt.

JD Payne: There’s something in him that is sort of vaguely reminiscent of Gollum, when you watch it again, where you see these two forces driving within him. In some ways, Gollum is to Sauron as Sauron is to Morgoth, a little bit. The One Ring is operative on his consciousness at all times. And even maybe if he tried to turn away from it and be Mairon, the Maiar, who, in the beginning, was good, there's this shadow that has operated upon his soul that he is enslaved to, that you always see, every decision he makes, takes him, in one way, towards the good, but it also takes him towards power. And power is his addiction. Watching back, with that in mind, it's fun to pick apart everything he says, or if he does retreat from the decision he makes.

Source: https://www.gamesradar.com/rings-of-power-sauron-halbrand-episode-8-showrunners

#the rings of power #sauron #halbrand #galadriel #lord of the rings #trop #lotr

[thenerdyindividual]

Ship ranking?? Uhhhh I want in!

The most random ships I have:

Mithian / Vivian, Mithian could turn out to be the one to free Vivian from the enchantment and make her into a better person!

Hunith /Uther or Ygraine / Balinor or Hunith /Ygraine etc etc. All the combinations

Gwaine / Elena I just think they're neat. They both have chaos energy. Plus, Elena's Father seems like a chill guy who would accept a peasant (who isn't actually a peasant huhhhhhhh)

Hear me out... Finna / Alator.

Nimueh / Freya

Julius Borden / Will

I swear I am not throwing these name out randomly there's a thought process behind it

Like Nimueh is of the old religion, so maybe she finds Freya after death in Avalon. And Freya being the kind soul she is can help her heal and grow out of her hatred.

And for Julius and Will... Picture a world where Will didn't die. And now everyone thinks he is a sorcerer. Julius hears rumours of the son of the last dragon lord living in Ealdor. So he goes there and he assumes it's Will, and Will just agrees to cover for Merlin, so he has to fake being a Dragon lord until the letter he sent reaches Merlin to warn him and to idk get help? But huh huh they actually fall in love.

Okay! There’s a lot here and I’m going to unpack all of them! This is fun!

Mithian / Vivian

I’m in favor of lesbian queens ruling a kingdom together, but also I like Mithian and feel she deserves better than Vivian. And I really dislike Vivian because she was mean to Gwen and I adore Gwen. I’m just not that interested in Vivian’s character, personally. I think Mithian, Gwen, and Morgana are all more interesting in her. So for that reason I rank it:

E-Tier

Hunith /Uther

No. Just no. Okay I know Uther was probably not always a genocidal maniac, but to quote Brennan Lee Mulligan “Before you were a fascist, you were a bully.” I think Hunith deserves to get her needs met by someone who would not one day gleefully send her son to the pyre. I rank this ship:

E-Tier

Ygraine / Balinor

Ohhhhh now this has some interesting vibes. Does Ygraine have a romance with Balinor before meeting Uther? Does she find out that Uther cheated on her, and got revenge on Balinor? Was it both? Does that mean that Uther and Ygraine were an arranged marriage? If so that makes Uther and even bigger hypocrite by using her death to justify his hatred.

For sheer implications and intrigue, I rank this:

C-Tier

Hunith /Ygraine

Ooooo a parallel to Arthur and Merlin, hell yes. I’m in favor of more sapphic romances in this fandom, and this could be fun. But also I now want an extremely cracky one shot where Merlin and Arthur are dating and introduce their moms, only for their moms to start hooking up, much to the horror of Merlin and Arthur.

I rank this:

C-Tier

Gwaine / Elena

I see this one a lot in the background of fics and I’m never much of a fan. It’s just a little too quirky for me. Like I’m sure there’s a fic out there that could get me to ship it, but most of the time it feels like people just want to ship the chaotic one with the chaotic one. It rarely feels thought out to me, and often feels like shoehorning it in because everyone needs to be a couple.

That said, it’s never enough to make me click away from a fic. And I could see how I would enjoy it if there was more time and thought put into their relationship. I mean, Gwaine is wandering rogue pre season 4. Chances are he ended up in Gawant at some point right?

I rank it:

C-Tier

For the potential

Finna / Alator

Tbh? In my soul, this is canon.

B-Tier

Nimueh / Freya

I just feel like Nimueh would trigger Freya. Super powerful, super scary, witch lady? After Freya got cursed dating Nimueh would just set Freya up to be terrified all the time. I don’t vibe with it. Also I think Freya has been through enough and doesn’t need to be fixing Nimueh.

I rank it:

D-Tier

Julius Borden / Will

Here’s the thing, I love Borden as a character but I like to make him Merlin’s shitty ex. I know the go to is Cenred, but he has way more chemistry with Borden.

So as far as shipping him with Will? Idk man. I’d maybe be tempted to read the fic you described because it sounds fun as hell, but Borden is just such a fun scummy piece of shit that I don’t ship him seriously with anyone. So without reading that fic, going on vibes alone…. I rank it:

D-Tier

Send me a Merlin Ship and I’ll rank it on a tier list. Note: This is a subjective ranking and a low ranking in no way means that I am shaming you for your taste in ships.

#bbc merlin #merlin #merlin bbc #mithian #princess mithian #gwaine #uther pendragon #king uther #bbc uther #hunith #balinor #merlin ship tier list #i am so sorry #I did not realize how low these would all be and now I feel bad 😬 #I think our tastes don’t line up very well

[violivs]

NMTDaily: A Wild Hero Appears

- It makes me a little sad that Bea tweets out this video with “meet the prettier version of me”. You’re beautiful in your own right, Beatrice, and I don’t think Hero would want you to compliment her by putting yourself down. This moment starts to show Beatrice’s insecurities, in a very teenage-girl way. It feels very accurate to that time of life for sure.

- What’s interesting, though, is that this tweet, where Bea thinks of herself as less pretty than Hero, is a direct parallel to and reversal of the moment in a future episode when Claudio tells Ben who he likes (Hero), and asks what Ben thinks of her, and Ben says he prefers her cousin, naming no names. These lines are adapted from the play. Now, I’m not going to say it’s good or ok for the guys to be comparing the girls to each other, even unintentionally, and of course Beatrice has to develop her own self-confidence outside of what anyone else thinks of her. But it is very sweet that at the time she makes that self-deprecating tweet, Beatrice already, unknown to her, has someone who looks at her before anyone else, who always thinks she’s the prettiest girl in the room. It’s just that even he doesn’t know it yet! Ben has thought Beatrice was gorgeous since long before he could admit it to himself, and that just makes me happy.

- I bet Hero’s “you’re not so bad looking yourself, Bea” is her answer to the tweet. She’s too sweet even to directly address it.

- Hero reading TFIOS is so incredibly 2014. (I can also tell she’s an actress and isn’t actually reading it right now because she’s that far into the book and she isn’t SOBBING. I’ll never forget how hard I cried and I’m not afraid to admit it.)

- “Hero it’s Darcy on a horse” being the thing to get her attention is hilarious and adorable and how many Jane Austen Movie Nights do we think she and Bea have had? Definitely some!

- Hero is adorable and we love her enthusiasm and many many video ideas 😆

- there are so many amazing quotes in this episode. “room tour. room tour. ROOM TOUR”; “I am very proud of the witty capabilities of 3-in-the-morning me” amazing.

- Bea is starting what’s essentially senior year in April at a new school. That has to be stressful. Good that she seems cheery about it. I’m sure she’s not at all worried about who else is in her classes…

- Now I want lemonade! Lol. But US lemonade for me. Research is telling me that NZ/Aotearoa lemonade is just basically lemon soda, like it is in the UK, as opposed to the US lemon juice + water + sugar situation. I hope Bea gets to try US lemonade on her travel year. It’s so good when it’s good.

- the Hersula origins! “She’s so lovely I catch myself wanting her to insult me” 💕

- Shoutout to the NMTD Fandom Revival Discord for catching the fact that Bea’s line “what is this cake even for” is a reference to the TARDIS cake Ursula shared on her tumblr, showing that Ursula and Hero surprised Bea with the cake for no reason at all, they’re just that sweet and lovely!

- A brief aside: Ursula’s tumblr has been lovely. She’s posted lots of desserts including one that she said is her dad’s specialty, so now I headcanon that she likes to bake because it’s something she and her dad do together. Ursula lore!

- Poor Meg. It’s tough to be an early bloomer, and you can tell the girls know they shouldn’t be making fun of her for it. I’m glad Hero told Bea to stop, but she was still going along with it and was the one who said the “Queen of Scream” line. We know they’ll learn, though.

- I also notice the link to Ursula’s first video in the description of this episode is now broken and goes to a page that says the video doesn’t exist. Fortunately VOX POPS is alive, well, and next in the playlist. Interesting how links break over time.

- This episode is apparently from before the characters start answering YouTube comments, I checked the comment section. That’s something I’m interested to see whether the NMTDaily emails will highlight, because I remember the characters’ comments being very fun to read! Good for immersion too!

- I’m embarrassed to even admit this, and I blame growing up without cable tv or video games, but I’m just now realizing this title is a Pokémon reference. This show was always even nerdier and more full of pop culture references than I realized! Excited to see if I find anything else I didn’t get before!

💖🥭🦩

#nmtd #nothing much to do #nmtdaily #violivs nmtdaily liveblog #a wild hero appears #i did have PBS and books and VHS/DVD movies and playing outside I promise my childhood wasn’t that deprived

[korcariiwitch]

for all the fellow durge x astarion brainrotters out here.

Sooooooo I kind of wanted to throw this out there as an experiment/tentative prelude, but I’ve been considering for a good long while that I’d like to start posting some BG3 writing on here.

Specifically a dark urge x Astarion story that has been rolling around and banging against the bars of its enclosure inside my head. I think I could also make it a mixture of Astarion x reader/Tav and Astarion x OC!durge too. (And a sprinkling of durgetash too).

Please be aware if you read ahead and haven’t played the origin yet, there will be spoilers. So I’ll leave the rest under the cut!

Essentially I have begun to write about the dark urge origin and my character’s journey. Also about Astarion’s and various ways in which their stories parallel one another. Not that the game itself doesn’t already do an incredible job at this. I just have a lot of headcanons that I think could be fun to explore and flesh out and honestly the brain rot is so bad that if I do not put it somewhere, I will absolutely turn into a mindflayer.

I don’t really have anything linear in mind, closer to a cluster of a bunch of different ideas/moments that I just really want to get out of my brain and word vomit them somewhere. It would be a mixture of post-game adventures, moments during the game’s acts, and also quite a bit of pre-amnesia dark urge and some durgetash for good measure because I am a degenerate.

All that being said – I do absolutely want to be inclusive as much as I can. There will be moments where the story can be written in a more neutral way regarding gender and also not include appearance at all if people would like to imagine themselves/their Tavs/OCs instead. Not everything will be just my OC!durge specific and for those particular moments I will tag them as such (including things like content warnings, etc. so people are aware what they’re fulling getting into).

Don’t get me wrong, I still very much want to write about my durge and flesh our their story and  really get into the nitty gritty of what I felt their journey was like. Also just their own personal character development in juxtaposition with their relationship with Astarion.

It has been a very very very long time since I’ve posted anything online and I know there’s always a risk with doing so, but I’ve just been honestly so genuinely inspired not only by the writing in the game but the incredible content other people have been creating because of this game and I just want to give a shot. To be a small part of it, even if it truly is just only for me (not to sound presumptuous) and no one notices.

At least, I don’t want to make that the main point but I know there’s a lot of you dark urge enjoyers out here and was essentially just wondering if people would be interested in a story like this?

It’d also most likely be 18+ so I was considering either just making a whole other blog or a side-blog to post there since this account is very very old and I wasn’t sure if it’d be safer and more comfortable for people who might want read this.

Again, I really REALLY don’t want to sound pretentious at all. Just thought it might be cool to share and honestly, I’d love to have people to talk about this game with. Especially about the dark urge, I just have so many feelings about it and I enjoy getting to read all the interesting and insightful meta/thoughts/headcanons people have come up.

To quote our favorite fanged boy, “Honestly, I have no idea what we’re I'm doing. Or what comes next.”

#astarion x reader #astarion x tav #bg3 writing #durgetash #astarion fic #bg3 fanfiction #durge #astarion x durge

[chickenstrangers]

2023 gifs in review tag game

tagged by @khaotunq (here!) to post my favorite/most popular gifs throughout the year. thank you!!🩵🩵🩵

I only started making gifs partway through this year, so there was a big learning curve and i still think i'm pretty newbie but it has been a lot of fun and it's nice looking back on how much i think i've improved, though i have so much left to learn next year

i am going to ramble too much because this is my post, fair warning, forgive my self indulgence

april

this was the very beginning, back in the photopea days before i tried photoshop (i am still quite fond of photopea, 1. because it is free and 2, for stills i think it's just as good as photoshop, but i could never figure out how to make gifs look good with its dithering system. i have seen some remarkable gifmakers using photopea tho so that's a my limited skill problem, and i'm glad i used it to dip my toes into the process!)

i only posted 1 set for abaab this month which looks not good but is still a very fun scene, but this was not actually the first thing i made (see below).

may

most popular: msp finale, tinn knowing all the words to gun's song <3

favorite: moonlight chicken, my first ever gifset and the reason i got into gifmaking because i wanted to capture the way moonlight chicken visually returned to locations and shots to underline its theme of loneliness being replaced by community, which is the mlc repetitions series

june

most popular & favorite: kiss me again (2018) and the lovely way june say's goodby to his friends (i learned how to add text to gifs for this one, and not only that but timed text! i thought it would get like 5 notes. it's very messy and doesn't look great, but i'm proud that i learned something with it, and i think its very funny and that's all that matters to me)

july

it's photoshop time now!! photoshop beloved you make such beautiful gifs and also you are So Slow and my computer cannot handle you.

most popular: only friends original trailer set

favorite: jimwen looking at each other set (the start of my most belovedest of series, the followup to the first ever meta i wrote)

august

most popular: part 1 of the can't i look at you edits, cool tones edition

favorite: part 2 of the can't i look at you edits, warm toned edition (i love them both but this has two of my all time favorite wen faces)

hey its my profile picture and also i find it very funny that the Os line up with his eyes, and the second gif i love how impossibly happy they look

september

my busiest month in terms of gifs, in large part due to only friends

most popular: topmew and fire

favorite: alanwen poetry edit i spent soooo long learning keyframes for the heartbeat effect and then the ghosting effect was a happy accident thank you person in the background walking past at the right moment

(i also love my charn laws of attraction set because he was a surprise favorite character this year, i loved collecting the quotes for how he speaks of himself)

october

most popular: only friends sandray finale parallel set (it is. very very close to 1k which is. so many).

favorite: he's coming to me edit because it was so fun to make for @dudeyuri

november

most popular: not me sean and black getting along super duper well!

favorite: moonlight chicken haunted house edit, accompanying this meta/creative writing thing. i loved choosing liminal feeling shots for it and i liked how the simple typography turned out

december

most popular: a little jim and wen set i am very fond of

favorite: the moonlight chicken new years set i posted today. i love this little chicken diner

hey look i managed to mention moonlight chicken almost every month (i swear, i watched so many favorite shows this year but i loved making mlc gifs so much)

and that's that! thanks for reading if anyone read til the end.

no pressure tags for some amazingly talented creators who have made some of my favorite sets this year (if you feel like talking about some of your highlights, whether monthly or not, because you all make so much incredible work and i'd love to hear about it) : @hoppipolla @sollucets @icouldhyperfixatehim @celestial-sapphicss @chinzhilla @krystaljungs @moonkhao and anyone who wants to, consider yourself tagged <3

#tag game #bl superlatives 2023 #rambling rambles #*mine #this was a fun retrospective! #thank you to all of the amazing creative people in this community that inspired me and taught me so much

[grepfrutmeat]

very messy and probably a little misheard notes from liquid mercury twitter space below the cut

the return of kyler and marter twitter space, later changed to liquid mercury (and possibly something else idk)

was kinda late not sure by how much. maybe 10~ minutes

martin is still blown away by something

-kyle says he cant wait for thing to happen (evil laughing)

-its one guy (..) suit

-talked about terrified fansong, martin really dug it

-felix felix you motherfuckwr (twf the musical

-we should make a really bad walten files musical

-we did that- “felix where are my kids da da da”

-joke twf musical

-fucking. imagine dragons okay martin.

-??? SET IT OFF WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING OKAY MARTIN

-eva mentioned about the three characters holding beer bottles together how she made a joke that its norman felix and Rory and people thought it was serious

-but rory is not real..

-martin “who the fuck is that”

-”you gotta stop listening to me. i lie” -eva

-it is now revealed lily is charles daughter

-it was so hard to keep it a secret

-accidentally mentioned on space but nobody noticed until like one person

-he dies on her birthday …

-knowing what happens to this character,

-being able to talk about “bon” is weird.

-martin loves this spectre

-g man comparisons

-martin had 2 inspirations for spectre, one being calculated how hal 9000 (i have no mouth i must scream guy??) expresses emotions like batman riddler, (the batman)

-eva made it subtler

-I WAS FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT THE BON FELIX PARALLEL IM WINNING IN WINNING

-”perhaps what i am is not as important as what i can offer you” pinnacle of bon

-handing boozoo mask to charles?

-what if bon is from the futureeeee (okay martin.)

-most of episode 4 was made a couple weeks ago lolll

-this episode is a miracle

(missed a bunch here)

-charles lines are really good

-the scene ;) the highlight of the episode

-episode 6 at his best

-progression of susan + charles va improving

-episode 6 is a turning point, traumatic event for characters one specific one.

-episode 6 gets as close as it can be to being a nightmare

-not analog horror scary, but like a chaotic nightmare that shouldn't be happen. horror movie-esque

-everything that can go wrong goes wrong, like a real nightmare.

-arin hanson nightmare. barnacles.

-episode 6 high stakes

-”bon” - fe lix (bon says felix at some point? woag maybe) , martin says he likes how bon says felix

-eva (spectre( has a monologue in 6

-episode 6 is awe some

-maritial status. divorced

-martin talks about charles divorce

-in 1974 he's divorced, recently divorced.

-his ex wife is named emily. divorced a few months before shit happens

-if Charles didn't go missing they might have resolved their relationship

-small bit talking to Emily in one episode. charles still loves ex wife but it didn't work out.

-charles close friends with ex wife but don't work as a couple

-martin says charles feels like what jack and felix could've been.

-charles is selfless,

-felix and linda split up would be better as friends cus they're not good as a couple

-charles knows this about his relationship but felix doesn't think this about his

-martin loves charles ;3

-he's already my favorite

-eva likes charles susan dynamic (i hear u)

-theyre two sillt friends having fun!!!

-dynamic war.

-(joke) “heyt guys. in the next episode. rory appears. and kills bom” “it was all a dream” “susan marries linda and Charles raises his kid and jack finds his kids. and is found” he was hiding in a box” (trumpet sounds)

-susan and charles are better friends than jack and felix

-jack and Felix don't get along as well as real friends. business relationship.

-kyle quotes jerma lolll

-felix and jack written as people that seem friendly and social but are isolated in their own ways

-jack is only entirely honest with rosemary

-felix just doesn't

-felix tries to hide addiction from jack and

-felix sees jack as someone he'd like to be, looks up to jack, affectionate to him and envious, wants to be on his good side so doesn't say anything to him. which is why jack didn't know.

-sophie jophie and jenny jophie joke…

-theyd rock paper scissors over last names

-jenny is better than sophie at rock paper scissors. lettersons.

-sophie would change to sophie Letterson like 100%

-highlight of the month was liking jelix art and everybody noticed …

-”jelix sloppy making out” “DONT SPOIL SIX” (joke)

-joke about charles looking horrified cus jelix making out in felix office lmao

-boozoos voice slightly tiny tim-ish COOL

qna part

-spectre is freakishly tall, skinny michael meyers

-spectres voice changes a lot, sometimes silly, depends on what he's saying/who he's talking to.

-spectre wont hide his motivation but he won't reveal it outright, he won't sit down and explain what he's doing, he’ll just do it.

-chris appears in photos, isn't really mentioned. Chris is someone who knows how to turn a situation in his favor, go-getter. has interesting dynamics with main characters later in series

-kyle can't wait for people to see what happens with Chris

-long way to go to show it, but chris apparently has a really cool design later on (1982)

-cant wait for people to see his role in 1982 . martin can't say why

-no correct understanding of chris but some people have very different expectations of who he is.

-chris is a silly-serious blend, similar to charles, less naive

-all they can say

-charles fact: something really fun about charles, he will always put his kid first more than anything. he brings her to work a lot (not gonna see this in series tho) everyone would play with her. dress up as pirates. :)

-felix would tell lily santa doesn't exist. LOLLL

-cant say something spoiler…

-G ROUND BREAKING REVALATION: FOR CONTEXT. Brian stells was the first human character to speak in twf. back in 2020. people would ship brian stells and sophie walten. but it was wrong angle. because yesterday. came to the realization. that brian would be into middle aged single mothers (technically rosemary…)

-brian would try to hit on rosemary??? and jack would grab his shotgun and shoot at him. okay martin. jack is a good shooter ??

-canon brian is jesse pinkman

-chris is more season 4-5 jesse pinkman.

(missed a lot)

-showstopper lore bon and banny friends but like. only cus bon wants to save face

-cybertelly would be the showstoppers lawyer

-felix fursona with glasses and suits (kyle says bon is just like felix)

-sha js rose’s fursona. rosemary is a furry.

-4,5,6

-linda only talked to susan cus they were good friends but not rosemary. linda would've told susan she was leaving.

-felix scene on the river was hardest to animate cus it was in a lighter place, but with felix its lit up middle of day

-potential actual showstopper show ?? 11 minute episodes

-rosemarys favorite character was sha. but billy if not sha, rosemary loves clowns

-ed molly fun fact: they liked playing pong. martin thinks ed would be mischievous and do pranks, between sophie ed and molly he'd be the most rebellious. molly would be more like “ed you cant blow up the school that's not right”

-molly was very behaved. best behaved walten child.

-rosemarys sister laura in season 2. rosemary doesn't like her family and doesn't really speak to her mom or sister much.

-jacks favorite drink is ramasote or wine, rosemary likes champagne, sophie likes mojito “i think drink does not just mean alcohol”

-mollys is pepsi. eds is liquid mercury. jacks favorite drink black coffee or rumcoke. jack would have a gallon of rootbeer.

#the walten files

[luis-block]

So, that incorrect quote post popped a little scenario in my head: what if Leshy pulled the whole "pissing out the bonfire" stunt, and then caught the reader sneaking a peek?

Oh, that's naughty, I'm in! I am making this a bit NSFW, but if you would like this with nothing suggestive, or even a continuation of this for a full NSFW piece of this let me know!

Warnings: Trying to catch a peek of his log pipe, suggestive themes, cornering of reader, virgin/inexperienced reader

Sneaking a peek at Leshy at a bonfire ritual 🌿

The cool summer nights of Darkwood always had a special place in your heart. The smell of freshly bloomed Camellia flowers and the candle smoke from the forest filled your senses as you sit on the sidelines of the bonfire ritual taking place. This ritual was a favorite of the followers of this section of the Old Faith. Throwing acorns into the fire was especially fun, as it added to the chaos factor that was always present in rituals here. The dancing and singing were always the highlight of the week for everyone, including yourself.

 You smile as you see your betrothed watching over the festivities as his followers enjoy themselves. You have been with Leshy for about two winters now, and you have never been happier. He has done nothing but adore you and make sure that you are treated on the same level as he is. You have told him that that part isn’t necessary, you aren’t a god like him after all. “But you are betrothed to a god, my wildflower. Anyone to steal a bishop’s heart like you have deserves nothing less.” Is his go to response whenever you mention it. It never ceased to make you blush.

Even before you took the pilgrimage to the lands of the Old Faith, you have never felt more loved before. Leshy respected all of your boundaries without fail, letting you take the reigns as far as the physical part of your relationship. You hear Leshy give a blessing to a follower, you look over to see his arm out of his robes. You look at his hand and feel your heart skip a beat as you look away.

It only serves to remind you that the main thing that you two haven’t done in your relationship is… ah, being intimate. You have been too embarrassed to admit it, but you have little experience in the way of being sexual with another being. Sure you have masturbated, but you damn well that they are very different experiences. Not only that but you’re not sure if Leshy even has any, well, parts?? He is a natural born god, and you are not sure if gods just appear or if they do reproduce? You haven’t had the balls to ask.

As you are stuck in your thoughts, you hear nervous whispering from followers nearby. You look up to see Leshy creep over to the bonfire with a mischievous look in his eyes. You know exactly what he is planning. The first time he did this was when you had both gotten together, and it was even your first bonfire ritual at that. Maybe it was to let you know what you were getting into, you think with a giggle.

But wait. If he pissed on the bonfire last time… Does that mean…

You have an idea! If you can see what he has, if anything, it would make the conversation of intimacy much easier for you. You look to the bushes parallel to the fire with your plan coming to light as you carefully make yourself as inconspicuous as possible. You make it to your spot, hiding between two big berry bushes as you get the best view to fulfill your goal. You watch as Leshy makes it the fire, the surrounding followers know what he is planning, covering their eyes and moving out of the way. Your heart races out of your cheat as he slowly moves his main robes and under robes as your eyes are glued with anticipation as he……

Looks you straight in the eyes, a devious smirk growing as he stops what he is doing and walks right for you. You go pale as you retreat in the woods, never have you been so embarrassed in your whole life! You are sure none of the other followers knew what was going on, but what if they did see you?! Your thoughts race as you think you are far enough away, Leshy not being in sight. You take a calming breath, maybe that was a prank? He was currently known for them. Maybe he didn’t notice you looking at his crotch to see if he’s got a dick or-

You are pushed up to a tree as the foliage around you falls apart, the woods shaking as it is covered in red. “Dammit..” You puff out, realizing the who had found you. The ground turns black as Leshy comes out of the portal before stepping onto the grass. He keeps eye contact as you look away blushing, not ready for the conversation about to take place. “What do you have to say for yourself, my dear?” he questions, staking closer to you as you aren’t paying attention. “A-ah, Well… I was just… picking berries?” You stammer out, knowing that was the lamest lie you could have given. You look up to realize he is right in front of you, towering over you as you fell like the butterflies in your stomach are going to rot it way.

He laughs as he picks you up around your waist, his hand on ass and fingers daringly close to your crotch as your thighs shake as he brings you up to his eye level. “Oh (Y/N), we both know that isn’t what you were doing...” He teases, his breath fanning over you as you tremble in his hand. You feel more and more heat building in you as you look into his eyes that are scanning you over. “So, tell me (Y/N)- “he says as he brings you up for a kiss on the cheek as you let out a small whine. “- is there something you have been meaning to talk to me about?”

#cotl nsft #nsft #CotL Leshy x reader #cult of the lamb Leshy x reader #Leshy x reader #cotl bishops x reader #cult of the lamb x reader #cotl x reader #cotl reader #cult of the lamb reader #cult of the lamb follower #cult of the lamb x follower!reader #cotl follower reader #Cotl bishop x reader