#i used to have another editing program it's just they crashed a lot lol

[cloudster-clown]

Higher quality in youtube :]

I am both in pain and proud of myself for how some things came out. I honestly wish I can find a new editing program so that I can do more and not just be restricted to moviemaker. Sadge

edit:

SOMETHING WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE REPEATED. APOLIGIES. IT SHOULD BE FIXED NOW. ALONG WITH THE YOUTUBE LINK

#technoblade #o!techno #bunnyblade #technoblade fanart #origins smp #animatic #i used to have another editing program it's just they crashed a lot lol #my art

[purpleberrypunch]

Guide to Messing with Outer Worlds Models

another little guide! as with the other one, i have two warnings lol 1- this works with the epic store version. i don’t know about windows, people have had issues doing some things with it from what i’ve seen but there may be workarounds etc but i don’t know about them sorry 2- i don’t know anything and about anything and just enjoy messing with things so whatever i’m saying here is the result of a bunch of experimenting on my part and reading other people’s info (about tow and also other unreal games..)

that said, this is fun for me even if i don’t know what i’m doing so ask if you want and i’ll think about whatever your stuck on and maybe get stuck on it myself haha

tools needed:

UModel - https://www.gildor.org/en/projects/umodel

umodel or ueviewer (both refer to the same program) lets you see and extract some files inside the packaged game files.

Noesis - http://www.richwhitehouse.com/index.php?content=inc_projects.php&showproject=91

model viewer, works with many file types not just ones you need for tow. i’m using it for easy conversion. if you convert with noesis, you don’t need the blender addon

Blender - https://www.blender.org/

3d editing software. i tend to use an older version lol 269 or 279 but idk use what you want and try an older or newer if you get errors?

or if you’re rich or a ‘student’ you can use 3ds max haha but i can’t help with it since i don’t use it

Blender psk import plugin - https://github.com/Befzz/blender3d_import_psk_psa

will allow you to import psk file type. if you convert to fbx or whatever with noesis, you don’t need this. but depending on what you’re doing, you might want to just import the psk without converting..

Gimp - https://www.gimp.org/

or another image editing software but gimp is what i use. you’ll need it to edit some textures (most likely, hands, eyes, and hair. maybe also clothes..)

steps:

1. locate where you have your pak files. mine is D:\egs\TheOuterWorlds\Indiana\Content\Paks - it should be the same file structure just in whatever drive and folder where you have your game installed.

extract the umodel zip somewhere. if you put it in the pak folder, the next step will be slightly easier lol

2. open umodel.

so if you put it in the pak folder, it will automatically fill the first line in correctly. otherwise, use the ... box to find your pak folder. check the box next to override and then choose unreal engine 4 and then the other side pick 4.21. that’s the version the game uses. it will still open if you choose others but will give errors when you try to view or export things.. the classes you can leave or check, if you don’t want textures or something. static meshes will not work so if you want to extract everything, you should uncheck that because it will crash when it hits a static mesh. i don’t know what the compression and platform options do

3. click ok and it’ll open to a window like this. the meshes and textures are in the Art folder. let’s say you want to get phineas’s model. you’ll find it in Art/CHAR/Colonists/Phineas/male

the MI_ files are material files, the T_ files are textures, and the SK_ files are the meshes. this is important because like i said, static meshes don’t work. but skeletal ones do! so we can get at the bodies, heads, and hairs because they have a skeleton. this includes creatures. you cannot open weapons or chairs and that sort of thing. interestingly, the crane from the character creation thing? has a skeleton so you can play with that if you want. otherwise, i haven’t found any other meshes that are openable. tell me if you do..

4. double click on the sk_col_phineas_tp_body_001_m file. it will open like this

there’s his outfit, no head because that’s separate. he’s sideways for some reason, no worries, rotate by left click and drag. push m to show the materials applied to each part

push o to go back to the menu. i don’t know what all of it does honestly. i just learned today if you go to skeletalmesh and select find animations. then use [ and ] to cycle through them, press space to play it once and x to play as a loop.

5. okay so if this is the model you want press o to reopen the menu from before

right click on the folder and click on export folder content. you can also export individual files in the right panel but you’ll want the textures anyway so may as well get the whole folder. tell it where you want it to save. leave the options to the defaults, should be psk for skeletal mesh file type. you can try the others but i haven’t gotten them to work.

now if you want to import the psk file straight to blender with the plugin i listed at the top, go ahead and do so. it’ll look chunky but idk why or how to fix that. i don’t know much about this lol

6. if you want to convert it in noesis, open noesis. navigate in the left panel to wherever you extracted the files.

double click to look at it, you want the sk_col_ file again. the body, there’s also just arms, if you want that lol. right click on the body and say export. in the little menu, tell it where you want to save it and what file type you want. change options if you know what you’re doing/want to mess around with it haha

now you can import it in blender and not have it be chunky looking and also not need a plugin.

now if you want the head and hair, repeat the above for those. heads are in the heads folder, hair is in hair folder. the companions have their hairs labeled. phineas’s is called scientist. extract them the same way.

some of the textures extracted will not have the right colors because some things are tinted or otherwise changed in the game, idk how it works sorry but the point is that the hair is not gonna be the right color. so you’ll have to look at screenshots and edit them. same with eyes and exposed skin like hands if the outfit shows hands. the face should be correct. i don’t know what all the textures besides diffuse and normal are, there’s lots. masks and other things, i don’t know how they’re supposed to be used. some things like the vicar outfit don’t look right at all and i had to edit it to be blue and have the pattern. i don’t know how to apply the pattern overlay or whatever, it’s in there so i made it myself in gimp.

before you play again, if you put the umodel files in the pak folder i suggest you remove them. they might not affect it, i’m not sure, but it’s probably better to not have extra shit in there when you’re actually playing

#the outer worlds #guide #spacer’s mods

[lokislytherin]

나 너를 사랑해 // namjin

pairing: kim namjoon x kim seokjin, slight mentions of jikook and yoonseok

summary: a fic in which namjoon has heart cancer and seokjin’s summer job is to spend time with him

word count: 6076

a/n: this was a monster to write jfc i lowkey regret writing it in a notebook before transferring it here also i planned this to have a sad ending at first but i couldn’t bring myself to write it lol i lowkey don’t wanna break my own heart.  sorry if it’s bad? i’m not exactly the best fanfic/romance writer, but i’m learning tho (i’m better at crack fics haha) also i didn’t edit this because the tumblr words on computer are so thin and hard to read

kim seokjin was bored.

it wasn’t like he had nothing to do, per se- he had to look after his younger brother taehyung, as well as work in the restaurant his parents had left him after they’d passed away within months of each other- it was that he felt like he’d lost his purpose.

“maybe you should try volunteering at the local hospital,"his friend and flatmate park jimin suggested one day, "who knows, you might even meet someone.” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

seokjin groaned, but agreed.  it wasn’t like he had much else to do with his life anyway.

a few days later, seokjin found himself standing at the front desk of the hospital.  "hello?“ he peered down at the beady-eyed woman sitting behind the desk.  "i volunteered for the volunteer program here, do you know where i should go…?”

the receptionist glanced up at him, uncaring eyes behind thick-rimmed glasses.  "name?“

"seokjin,” he said quickly, “kim seokjin.”

the receptionist turned back to her table, rifling through one of the many stacks of paper on her desk.  "kim seokjin…“ she scribbled something on a post-it note and slapped it on the space in front of him.  "follow the red line on the floor, and stop when you reach the room with this number,” she instructed him curtly, “you’ll be assigned a patient.  or you could just ask nurse jung.”

a brief feeling of horror swept over seokjin as the fact that patients were assigned registered in his mind, but he pushed it down, thanking the receptionist instead.  jimin hadn’t told him that! or maybe he’d done it on purpose, seokjin thought bitterly to himself.

he wandered down the corridors until-

“oof!”

he barely had the time to react before he was falling backwards, landing on his ass.

“sorry!” yelped a voice.  "are you okay?“

seokjin groaned, staggering to his feet.  "i’m fine,” he wheezed, “my ass would say otherwise, but otherwise i’m fine.  besides, it’s mostly my fault fo not really looking where i was going.”

there was a loud “haha!” from the voice, which as seokjin saw, belonged to a tall young man around his age, maybe a little younger.  "maybe you should use your eyes,“ the young man teased as he pushed his glasses up his nose, "they’re there for a reason, you know.”

seokjin put a hand on his chest, mockingly insulted.  "shut up,“ he told the other man, "i don’t even know your name!”

the man standing in front of seokjin grinned.  "i’m namjoon, kim namjoon.  now you know my name!“

seokjin couldn’t help but laugh.

namjoon stared at him for a few seconds before beginning to laugh himself.  "you sound like a windshield wiper!” he gasped out between snickers.

seokjin grunted, trying to reign in his blush.  "yah, i know, i get that a lot.“

namjoon opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted by a man in a white doctor’s coat running towards him and shouting his name.  "namjoon!” the man yelled.  "stop running away from your room! do you have a death wish?“

namjoon shrugged playfully.  "nah, i was just bored.”

the man rolled his eyes.  "you’re becoming a bad influence on jeongguk,“ he said, rubbing his temples, "he may be paralyzed from the waist down and possibly bound to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, but he’s learning to just disappear like you.  i have no idea how he does it.”

namjoon laughed again, and for a brief second, seokjin felt like capturing the sound in a jar and keeping it with him forever.  "i’ve taught him well, then.“

the man, who was probably namjoon’s nurse, started to lead him away.  "come on, we need to get you hooked back up, you need your meds-”

“wait!” seokjin blurted.  "i signed up for your volunteer thing, and i have no idea who my assigned patient is! do you happen to know where i can ask or something?“ he looked at the post-it from the receptionist.  "the receptionist said go to room 314, or ask ‘nurse jung’, but i have no idea where room 314 is, or who 'nurse jung’ is.”

the nurse grinned.  "well, you’re in luck! i’m jung hoseok.“ the man plucked a sheet of paper from his coat.  "what’s your name?”

“kim seokjin.”

the man scanned the piece of paper for seokjin’s name! “oh! what a coincidence!” he smiled broadly.  "you’re paired with namjoon! lucky me, i have to do less work, since you two are already acquainted.“ he shot namjoon an obnoxious wink.  "i’ll head off now.  i’m a busy man, i’ve got things to do.” he dashed off, this time yelling for jeongguk.

namjoon snorted to himself.  "yoongi- whoops, dr min- he means.“

seokjin frowned.  "huh?”

“hobi-hyung- aish, i keep forgetting he’s a nurse now, and not just my next door neighbor- has a crush on one of the doctors here.  one of the best heart surgeons in korea, actually.  dr min likes him too, but neither of them realize it.  i don’t quite know what they see in each other- hoseok-hyung is always so warm and happy, but dr min is so cold and cranky.”

seokjin laughed, effortlessly keeping up with namjoon’s long strides as he led them back to his hospital room.  "well then, i guess you could say they’re polar opposites.“

seokjin cackled as his own pun, earning a few judgmental glares from the nurses, doctors, patients and visitors scuttling along the corridors.  one doctor gave him a particularly harsh scowl as he swished by in his white surgical coat.  "what?” seokjin wheezed out between bouts of windshield wiper laughter.  "that was a good pun!“

even namjoon couldn’t help but laugh.  "that’s min yoongi for you.” he pushed the door of his room open.  "after you, jin-hyung.“ he paused for a second.  "may i call you jin-hyung, actually? it just slipped out of my mouth.  i mean, it sounds nice, but i wasn’t sure if you’d mind being called jin.  after all, i barely know you, we just met-”

seokjin decided to cut off namjoon’s rambling.  "jin is completely fine, by the way.  nobody’s ever called me that, but i like it.“ he gestured towards the door.  "after you.  you’re the patient, i’m just in charge of watching your back.”

namjoon shook his head.  "no, you first.  i’m already holding the door open for you, don’t make my efforts go to waste.“

seokjin wedged his leg between namjoon ad the door, attempting to subtly nudge the other man through the door frame.  "no, after you.”

“after you!”

“no, after you!”

there was a loud “ahem!” as a young man in a wheel chair smoothly wheeled himself into the room.  "after me, before joon-hyung manages to break the door handle again.“

seokjin cocked his head curiously.  "how’d you manage to break a door handle?”

namjoon blushed, flustered.  "it’s a long story.“

seokjin heard a familiar high pitched voice screech for jeongguk.  he turned around, spotting-

"jiminnie? what are you doing here?”

namjoon turned to seokjin, a look of confusion on his face.  "wait, how do you know jimin?“

"he’s my roommate!” jimin piped in, he was dripping with sweat, but seemingly unfazed by the workout he just had from chasing jeongguk around the hospital.  "i told you about him, didn’t i?“

realization dawned on namjoon. "you’re that seokjin?”

seokjin, however, had a completely different response. “you talk about me behind my back? this is betrayal, jimin! betrayal!”

jimin deliberately ignored the melodramatic older man, instead focusing on helping jeongguk haul himself from his wheelchair onto his bed.  seokjin realized that jeongguk was the 'cute patient’ jimin kept talking about.  for a rather small guy and another guy who’d lost function of his loweer body after a car crash, they made a pretty strong couple.  seokjin subtly nudged namjoon into the room, before heading in himself.

“and yes, namjoon, i am that seokjin.”

namjoon laughed, plopping himself down on one of the beds.  "yeah, jin-hyung, i figured as much.“ he patted the empty space next to him.  "come on, sit! i’m not a bed hogger like gukkie.”

true to namjoon’s word, jeongguk lay starfished across the bed, arms crossed under his head, long legs splayed over jimin’s lap.  "it’s not my fault, hyung,“ jeongguk grumbled, "you know i can’t move my feet.” namjoon only laughed in response.

in a blink of an eye, hours had passed.  jimin jumped up from his position next to jeongguk, shoulders oddly stiff.  "seokjin-hyung and i have to go now.  our shift is over.“

seokjin glanced at jimin, faintly alarmed.  they had shifts? even if they did, he wasn’t sure if he could leave- namjoon was leaning on his shoulder, and seokjin had lost feeling in it completely.

jeongguk frowned, as if he too sensed jimin’s sudden tenseness.  "alright.  i’ll see you soon, jiminie-hyung.”

jimin smiled, a faint blush on his cheeks.  "see you tomorrow, gukkie.“

namjoon turned to seokjin, a hopeful expression on his face.  "will i see you tomorrow, seokjinnie-hyung?”

seokjin hummed thoughtfully, eyebrows creasing as he thought about it.  should he? he’d had a nice time with namjoon (who was cute too, as a bonus), but would tomorrow be the same? he felt jimin, namjoon and jeongguk’s expectant gazes on him.  "yes,“ he decided spontaneously, "why the hell not?”

namjoon broke into a grin so wide it almost split his face in half, deep dimples carving themselves onto his cheeks.  "i knew you’d say yes.“

jimin cleared his throat.  "seokjin, we have to go, remember?”

feeling bold, seokjin blew namjoon a kiss.  "bye, namjoonie.“

namjoon had called him 'seokjinnie’, so 'namjoonie’ was a fitting nickname, was it not?

jimin pushed seokjin out the door, promptly pulling the door shut behind them.

as soon as they were out of earshot, jimin turned to seokjin, a wide grin on his face.  "now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

seokjin shrugged, trying to hide his frantic heartbeat.  "namjoon’s pretty nice to hang around.“ namjoon was pretty, too.

jimin whooped loudly, and the receptionist glared at him as the two young men passed her.  "has he told you about his condition yet?” he asked, lowering his voice.

seokjin shook his head.  "no, why?“ seokjin waved goodbye to hoseok, and the nurse saluted him in response.

jimin shrugged, walking a little faster in order to keep up with seokjin.  "he’ll tell you in his own time, i guess.”

“do you know his condition?” seokjin asked curiously.  jimin probably did- he’d been doing this for far longer than seokjin had, and jimin and jeongguk were so close, namjoon probably trusted jimin too.

the shorter man nodded.  "he’s kinda sensitive about it though, and now that you two are friends, i don’t want you to think differently about him because of it.“

seokjin left the conversation alone, making a mental note to ask namjoon about it the next day.

a little over half a day later, seokjin was at the hospital again, casually chatting to jimin as they made their way to namjoon and jeongguk’s room.  he wondered if he’d even be there if not for a certain kim namjoon, and apparently, so was jimin.

"so, seokjin-hyung,” the younger began with a sly grin, “are you looking forward to today? you get to spend more time with namjoon-hyung.”

hoseok hurried past, complaining to jimin that jeongguk had ran off- or rather, wheeled off- again.  jimin just laughed, telling hoseok it was okay, he was used to it.

seokjin glared at jimin, shoving him away.  "watch your mouth,“ he warned, threat as empty as his stomach, "and watch your boy crush.”

jimin spluttered, cheeks growing red.  "i do not- jeongguk is not-“

seokjin smirked.  "yah, jiminie, karma’s a b*tch, but so am i.”

jimin flipped him the bird before running off in search of jeongguk.  "hey! ungrateful brat!“ he shouted at jimin over dr min’s head.  "you should learn to respect your hyungs!

there was a laugh from behind, and seokjin jumped a mile high.  he whirled around, clutching his chest melodramatically.  "aish, joonie! you’re going to give me a heart attack!”

namjoon laughed loudly, covering his mouth afterwards.  namjoon blushed, looking a little flustered.  "sorry, i have a habit of doing that.  before, dr min told me off for laughing too loudly, and i’m still kinda scared of him.“

seokjin awkwardly patted his arm.  "it’s okay!” he smiled.  "i like your laugh.“

namjoon cleared his throat, a professional looking expression on his face.  "yeah, about that…”

“hmm?”

“i need to tell you something.” he lowered his voice.  "in private.“

seokjin agreed.  he had to ask namjoon why he was in the hospital anyway- from an outsider like seokjin’s perspective, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

they made their way to namjoon and jeongguk’s hospital room, namjoon making himself at home on the bed before asking seokjin to join him like the day before.  hoseok strolled in, exchanging a few words with namjoon, occasionally glancing at seokjin while attaching wires and tubes to namjoon’s skin.

hoseok gave seokjin a few instructions, pointing at a bag and telling seokjin to fill it up with the transparent liquid next to it.  seokjin followed dutifully, only looking up at namjoon when he winced.

hoseok left a few moments later, instructing seokjin to keep an eye on namjoon’s vitals and to press the help button on the heart monitor machine if anything happened.

the awkward silence seemed to stretch between them, the quiet beepbeepbeep of namjoon’s heart monitor the only sound in the room.

"so, joonie, mind telling me about what you dragged me all the way here for?” seokjin asked, breaking the pregnant pause.

namjoon made a wounded sound at the back of his throat.  "i didn’t drag you, you came willingly!“

airily, seokjin waved a hand.  "there’s not much of a difference-”

“not much meaning there is!” namjoon interjected triumphantly.

seokjin grunted, trying not to smile.  "i still wanna know what you have to tell me so desperately.“

namjoon took a deep breath.  "are you sure you want to hear it?”

seokjin nodded firmly.

“i have a cardiac myxoma.”

seokjin blinked.  "a what?“

"a malign heart tumor,” namjoon explained, “and according to the doctors i only have around half a year, give or take, left to live.”

“i’m sorry.” seokjin didn’t know how else to respond.

namjoon breathed out sharply.  "no, i’m sorry.  i’ve always been too much of a romantic, and jeongguk keeps teasing me for it, and you’ll probably hate me for this, or think that i’m weird, but i- i think i like you.“ he confessed.

seokjin fell over backwards, lying across namjoon’s long legs.  "damn.  okay.”

namjoon cursed under his breath.  "i’m sorry, that was such a dumb thing to say.  forget what i just said.  i can’t believe i just said that, oh my god-“

seokjin laughed, reaching up and flicking namjoon’s nose.  namjoon blinked, a small look of surprise coming over his face.  "what can i say? i’m a very likable person.  only dr min seems to hate me, but again, he seems to hate everyone.”

namjoon breathed a sigh of relief.  "you took that remarkably well.  i mean, a guy who’s about to die just told you he liked you, and you just responded with 'okay’.  i would’ve freaked out, big time.“

namjoon sat back up.  "i mean, you seem like a nice person.  for 'a guy who’s about to die’, as you so eloquently put it, you seem pretty upbeat.  if i was about to die, i’d be pretty depressed about it.”

namjoon frowned thoughtfully.  "for a while, i was, actually.  i mean, i don’t want to die, you know, i’m only twenty four.“

seokjin’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.  namjoon was younger than him!

"i don’t want you pity or anything, i just want to make the most out of what little time i have left.” namjoon smiled wistfully.  "speaking of which, have you ever been to america? it seems like a nice place.  i’d like to go there one day.“

seokjin nodded, unable to help but feel bad for the man with a faulty heart, the man with so many dreams and aspirations, the man who deserved so much more than a life snatched away by the cruel hands of fate.

"i studied there for a few years,” seokjin replied quietly, “performing arts.  i used to want to be a singer, or an actor, but after mom and dad passed away, i put that dream aside so i could raise taehyung.  i quit school to manage our family restaurant.  taetae’s my little brother, and i love him so much. he deserves so much more than what i could ever give him.”

namjoon sniffled, and seokjin looked at him in alarm. “sorry,” he sniffed, “i just think taehyung should be grateful to have such a great hyung like you.”

seokjin smiled, flushed with pride.  "thanks, joonie.  you should meet tae one day, i think you’d like him.“

namjoon hummed thoughtfully.  "jin-hyung?”

“yah?”

seokjin looked up.  namjoon was blushing so hard, even the tips of his ears were pink.  "could- could you sing for me?“ he asked shyly.

now, it was seokjin’s turn to blush.  "ah, i haven’t sung in years…”

“please, hyung?”

namjoon pouted, and whatever resolve seokjin had melted away at the sheer cuteness of it.  "are there any songs in particular that you’d like me to sing?“

"i don’t really mind…” namjoon trailed off, looking at him hopefully.  "have you written any?“

seokjin nodded guiltily.  he’d written quite a few, but he’d never sang them to an audience.  sure, taehyung and jimin had heard his first song, awake, but he’d never sang them epiphany.

"i’ll sing you epiphany,” seokjin decided.  namjoon could listen to awake another day.  he’d written epiphany not long ago, as a sort of follow up to awake.  seokjin had written awake when he’d dropped out of performing arts, pouring all the heartache, all the pain, all the loneliness into the song.  epiphany was about him moving on, with the knowledge that taehyung would support him, no matter what.

seokjijn opened his mouth and began to sing.

and by god, it was beautiful- his voice was hauntingly melodious, notes of pure power escaping his lips, the strength of the vibrato enough to bring tears to anyone’s eyes.  even though the melody was simple, it was as if seokjin had put his heart on his sleeve, bared his soul for those who were willing to listen.  namjoon closed his eyes, unable to resist the temptation to tune out the sounds of the outside world, drowning himself in the beauty of seokjin’s voice.  for a while, it was like seokjin had swept namjoon away from the dreary hospital he was stuck in until his imminent demise, a welcome distraction from the pain that plagued his heart.

but as soon as it began, it was over.

seokjin was blushing, cheeks tinted rose.  "was… was that okay? it’s the first time i’ve sang that to anyone.“

namjoon was too busy gawking at seokjin with wide eyes and an open mouth to respond.  "wow.” kim namjoon was rarely ever rendered speechless, but seokjin…

kim seokjin was something else entirely.

“wow.” namjoon repeated as intelligently as he could.  "you- wow.  just wow.“

seokjin smiled shyly.  "i’ll take that as an 'it was okay’?”

namjoon nodded, still looking a little starstruck.  "that was more that okay, that was just… wow.  i have no words.“

seokjin laughed, relief visible on his face.  "thank god.”

suddenly, the door was kicked open, and jeongguk rolled in on his wheelchair, jimin pushing him in with an annoyed expression on his face.  jeongguk gave namjoon a subtle thumbs up, mouthing you chose well, hyung!

namjoon smacked jeongguk hard on the head as he rolled over.  "shut up, guk!“ he hissed.

"seokjin-ssi, your singing is so good!” jeongguk gushed, a devious grin on his face.

seokjin’s mouth popped open in an 'o’ before he collected himself.  "thanks, jeongguk, and hyung is fine.“ he laughed a little.  "i wasn’t even aware i was singing that loudly!”

jeongguk burst out laughing.  "did namjoon-hyung tell you that he used to be an underground rapper?“ he asked, eyes gleaming with mischief.

behind seokjin, namjoon shook his head rapidly, mouthing at jeongguk to just shut up already and stop ruining his life.

"no,” seokjin replied, “he didn’t, actually. i wonder who would bury such a good looking wrapper, though.  maybe they thought the wrapper looked too precious.”

it took namjoon a few seconds to understand what seokjin had said.  "did you just use a pick up line disguised as a pun on me?“

seokjin let out another one of his infamous windshield wiper laughs, throwing his head back.  "it’s not a pick up line, it’s a fact,” he told namjoon with an obnoxious wink.

namjoon groaned, burying his head in his hands.  he didn’t even know he could get this flustered in a day.

“jiiiin!” he wailed.

“i bet you five hundred won seokjin-hyung is a top,” seokjin heard jeongguk whisper to jimin.

the kid really thought seokjin couldn’t hear him, huh.

“thanks for your faith in me, but i’m not a shirt,” seokjin said with a grin, unleashing another bout of windshield wiper laughs.

the door burst open, revealing a panicked looking hoseok.  "what’s happening? namjoon’s heart rate is dangerously high.“ he turned to seokjin.  "didn’t i tell you to press the alarm if anything suspicious happened?”

namjoon slammed a pillow onto his face, groaning into it.  "if i have a heart attack right now and i die, jinnie-hyung, you’re paying for my funeral.“

hoseok sighed, grabbing seokjin by the shoulders and frogmarching him away from namjoon.  "please try not to accidentally kill joonie.  his heart is fragile enough as it is.” hoseok leaned closer.  "if you break his heart,“ he whispered dangerously, "i’ll make sure yours stops beating and make it look like a convenient accident.”

seokjin gulped, barely hiding the squeak that came out of his throat.  "are you allowed to do that?“

hoseok smirked.  "who knows?”

seokjin swallowed.  he didn’t want to cross the nurse.  "it’s not like i have any intentions of breaking joonie’s heart anyway.“ he muttered under his breath.

namjoon looked at the older duo curiously.  ”hyungs? what’s wrong?“

"nothing!” seokjin yelped as hoseok subtly stomped on his foot.  "just got something lodged in my throat, that’s all.“ he said in his normal voice.  "i’m fine now.”

hoseok gave him one last warning look before slipping out the door again.  jeongguk snorted.  "hyung, your lies are as bad as joon-hyung’s old haircut, and your excuses are as cringey as runch randa.“

namjoon gasped, visibly offended.  "excuse you, gukkie, but runch randa is great!”

seokjin nodded in agreement.  "taehyung forced me to come along to one of runch randa’s shows.  i don’t regret it one bit, though.  the guy seemed pretty cool.“

jimin grinned slyly.  "seokjin-hyung, namjoon-hyung is runch randa.”

seokjin’s eyes went wide before he composed himself.  "well, i regret watching that show even less now.“ he turned to namjoon, who buried his head in his hands.  "your rapping’s pretty good.”

but not as good as your looks, seokjin added in his head.

“thanks.” namjoon mumbled, voice muffled by his palms.

they spent the rest of the morning like that- the two maknaes bringing up old memories to embarrass their hyungs, namjoon being a flustered mess and seokjin heroically defending namjoon with dad jokes and embarrassing jimin and jeongguk instead.

seokjin had struck up a conversation, both of them giggling like teenage schoolgirls whenever seokjin made a pun, laughing when they both lapsed into awkward silence and the heart monitor beepbeepbeeped in the background.

at one point, namjoon had fallen asleep, exhaustion taking over after laughing too hard.  seokjin had stayed awake, staring down at him with loving eyes, fondly stroking his hair, fingers brushing against his skin.  for a second, seokjin wondered how it would feel to wake up to that beautiful sight every morning.

he felt his cheeks grow hot, and he forced the thought away. he’d always been too much of a romantic.

namjoon’s eyes suddenly snapped open.  "jin-hyung?“ his voice was uncharacteristically weak.

"yah, namjoon-ah?” seokjin asked, concerned for the younger man.  "what’s wrong?“

namjoon whimpered.  "hyung, my chest hurts.” his voice was growing weaker, even the beeping from the heart monitor seemed a little quieter.  "i- i- think i’m dying.“

seokjin’s eyes went wide.  "no.  joon-ah, stay with me.” he slammed the 'help’ button several times, hoping that hoseok would arrive quickly.

“but hyung, it hurts…”

“kim namjoon, you are not dying on me.” seokjin demanded.  namjoon was not going to die, not on his watch.

“jin-hyung…” namjoon’s eyes fluttered shut.

seokjin nearly screamed.

“no! namjoon, stay with me.  namjoon, please.  hoseok-ssi is coming, and dr min-ssi too.  you’re going to be okay.  joonie, goddammit, stay with me.”

the heart monitor flat-lined, and this time, seokjin screamed for real.  "namjoon!“ he could feel hot tears of dread pooling in his eyes against his will. "namjoon, please don’t go.”

hoseok kicked the door open, dr min behind him.  "what did you do?“

"i didn’t do anything!” seokjin wailed.  "he just said his chest hurt, and then-“ he waved his arms wildly, unable to put the whole experience into words.  he turned to the surgeon, desperation written all over his face.  "dr min-ssi, please, you have to help him!” hoseok and another nurse started loading namjoon’s unconscious body onto a trolley, ready to wheel him off elsewhere.

“please, you have to help him,” seokjin croaked, voice cracking with emotion he didn’t know he had.  "i- i think i’m in love with him.“

dr min smirked.  "i’m not the best heart surgeon in korea for nothing, you know.  i try my best to save my patients” he put on a pair of surgical gloves, latex snapping against his wrists.  "you can count on me, seokjin-ssi.“

seokjin collapsed in relief.

"someone get him out,” commanded the surgeon, “i don’t want to risk him freaking out and getting a heart attack too.”

one of the nurses dragged seokjin out, sitting him down on a bench and warning him to stay there.  seokjin just prayed that namjoon would be alright.

***

namjoon woke up alone in a hospital room.  he sat up curiously, looking around.  beside him, the heart monitor beeped, reassuring namjoon that he was still alive.  he glanced down.  his chest was covered with bandages, but it didn’t hurt anymore.  he just felt numb.

hoseok walked in, sat down beside him.  "so, namjoon, how are you feeling?“

"like i just died,” namjoon rasped out as dr min pushed the door open with a concerned but proud expression on his face.  "what happened? i can’t remember what happened.  did i pass out? where’s jin-hyung?“

questions, questions, so many questions.

"namjoon-hyung!” jeongguk shouted as he wheeled himself in, almost rolling right over jimin who was holding the door open for him.  "you’re alive!“ he yelled gleefully.

namjoon shook his head.  jeongguk was being too loud.  everything hurt, but at the same time nothing did.

"what happened?”

jimin stepped in, another young man in tow, looking at them curiously.  jimin whispered something to the young man, whose gaze focused on namjoon for a few seconds before he made the 'i’m keeping my eye on you’ gesture at namjoon.

“guys? why is nobody answering my question?”

hoseok took a deep breath.  "namjoon, you were-“

”-clinically dead for almost a minute,“ dr min finished for him.  "your heart stopped beating-”

“so we gave you a heart transplant.” namjoon raised an eyebrow.  since when were the surgeon and the nurse so close to each other that they could finish each other’s sentences?  "luckily, we had a willing donor.“

"you were out for two days afterwards, but thankfully the surgery went successfully.” dr min added, rubbing his eyes.  now, namjoon could see the dark circles and the eye bags- one of the cons of working as an er surgeon.

“we still have to run a few tests to make sure you’re completely fine, and that the tumor won’t reappear elsewhere, but if everything goes alright, you’ll be discharged in a few days.” hoseok told him happily.

namjoon nodded, glad that he’d be able to see the outside world again.  but there was still one question at the forefront of his mind- where was seokjin?

the young man namjoon didn’t recognize gave him a sad look.  "who do you think gave you his heart?“

namjoon choked on his breath, and hoseok immediately came dashing over to his aid.  "what?” namjoon could barely hear himself over the thumpthumpthump of his new beating heart.  "no.  no.  no-“

the young man passed namjoon a card with a grim look on his face.  it was red, with black spots, folded up to look like a ladybug.  "he wanted you to have this.”

namjoon nodded his thanks, swallowing the lump in his throat and unfolding the card with shaky hands.  with his luck and destructive tendencies, he accidentally ripped a corner.  he read the neatly written words: go out the door, and look for all the ladybugs.

namjoon blinked.  ladybugs? why would seokjin want him to look for ladybugs?

“what does it say?” the young man asked namjoon with a look of childish curiosity.  "hyungie wouldn’t tell me,“ he said with a pout.

so this is taehyung, namjoon realized, seokjinnie’s beloved baby brother.  he wasn’t quite sure when exactly he’d started calling seokjin nicknames in his head, and he couldn’t hide the blush sweeping across his cheeks at the realization.  "he told me to find the ladybugs.”

jimin raised an eyebrow.  "ladybugs?“

jeongguk shrugged, wheeling himself behind jimin and pulling the shorter man onto his lap.  "i’m sure he did it for a reason.  seokjin-hyung doesn’t look like the type to do random things, and i’m pretty sure he wouldn’t send namjoon-hyung on a wild goose chase, not in this state.”

“i think you mean wild card chase,” namjoon said with a small grin.

jimin groaned, leaning back against jeongguk.  "oh god, you’ve been spending too much time with seokjin-hyung.“

"either way, i’ll do it.” if nobody would tell namjoon where seokjin was, he’d find jin himself.  maybe it was payback for all those times seokjin had to hunt namjoon down after another one of namjoon’s hospital room escapades.

“you have to be careful, though,” warned the surgeon, “your body is still weak.”

namjoon nodded.  "i will, dr min.“

the surgeon gave namjoon a rare but genuine smile.  "please, just call me yoongi.”

namjoon agreed, eyeing hoseok, who blushed a dark red and dismissed himself.  "alright, yoongi-hyung.  i’ll get going now, and you can go find hobi-hyung.“

yoongi shot him a familiarly terrifying scowl, stomping off to find the nurse he was denying his obvious love for.

now, it was time for namjoon to find his love.  it was all a bit strange, really- namjoon had never believed in all that 'love at first sight’ stuff jimin loved to spout, but embarrassing as it was, seokjin had changed all that.

gingerly, namjoon pulled on a shirt, stepped off the bed and almost fell flat on his face.  it seemed like he’d forgotten how to use his legs.  jeongguk snickered.  "now you feel my pain, hyung.” namjoon chose to flip the boy the bird, taking another cautious step forward.  he’d do this.  for seokjin.

slowly but surely, namjoon made his way through the hospital.  it was strangely quiet, for midday.  but that didn’t matter- he kept walking, left foot after right, guided by the ladybug cards plastered to the wall, steps powered by his love for the man who’d stuck them.  he’d opened up a few of the cards, which were filled with puns, each one more ridiculous than the last.  namjoon couldn’t help but smile as he read them.

“oof!”

he stumbled forward as somebody bumped into him.  he reached out for something, anything, to stop himself from falling.  he latched onto something hard and warm, and a pair of muscular arms wrapped around his waist.  he looked up, spotting an angel with broad shoulders and twinkling brown eyes.

“wow, namjoon, you should be careful.” the angel 'reprimanded’ him.  "can’t have you falling for me already, eh?“

namjoon gawked up at him.  "jin-hyung?” the older man looked gorgeous as ever, even with messy hair and a hint of dark eye circles.  like always, he looked too beautiful to be real.  "are you really here?“

seokjin grinned, smile lines appearing on his face. "i’m real, i promise.  i do like hearing that i’m beautiful, though.” he handed namjoon a small red box with black spots on it.

namjoon snorted.  "you’re so vain.“

"hey! respect your hyungs!”

namjoon choked out an apology between snickers, unable to help but smile.  "but really, jinnie-hyung? ladybugs?“

seokjin helped him to his feet.  "what can i say?” he said with a mischievous wink.  "i guess i’m your lucky charm.“

namjoon laughed.  "another pun? i should’ve known.” he thought he was used to seokjin’s love for puns, but apparently not, it seemed.

“open it, namjoon-ssi!” an excited voice cried.  "hyung’s been waiting for this moment since-“

seokjin all but shoved taehyung out of namjoon’s line of sight.  "ignore taetae.” taehyung stood beside seokjin, bouncing up and down like an excited child.  seokjin pushed him a little further.  namjoon glanced around, seeing jeongguk, with jimin sitting on his lap.  even hoseok and yoongi were there! jeongguk made a small ripping motion, waiting for namjoon to open the box.

seokjin cleared his throat, yelling at everyone to piss off because they were making him nervous.  nobody responded. “open the box, joon-ah.” he told namjoon softly, a stark contrast to him mere seconds ago.

gently, namjoon opened the ladybug box, gaping when he saw the heart bracelet inside, 'knj + ksj’ carved on the back.  "what-“

he looked back up.  seokjin was kneeling on me.  "kim namjoon, i gave you my metaphorical heart.  now will you be my boyfriend?”

namjoon’s brain spun.  now it all made sense- another donor had given namjoon their literal heart, and when taehyung asked 'who do you think gave you his heart’, he’d meant seokjin had given namjoon his figurative heart.  impossible as it seemed, namjoon’s love for seokjin- and seokjin’s love for him- had kept namjoon alive.

“thank god,” said namjoon, stalling for time, “i thought you were proposing.”

“say yes anyway!” jeongguk shouted impatiently, only for jimin to turn and smash his palm on jeongguk’s mouth.

“marrying me wouldn’t be that bad,” seokjin protested, “i’m just a little high maintenance-”

“stand up,” namjoon told him demandingly, using the voice hoseok had playfully nicknamed him 'president’ for.

seokjin did exactly that.  "it’s okay if you reject me, i just-“

namjoon smashed his lips to seokjin’s.  "shut up,” he whispered with a small smile.

seokjin had a goofy grin on his face.  "make me.“

namjoon kissed him again.

#namjin #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #jin #rm #bts #bts fanfiction #namjin fanfiction #kim namjoon x kim seokjin #hospital au #jungkook #jimin #j-hope #suga #v #bangtan boys #bangtan sonyeondan #bulletproof boy scouts #namjin fanfic #one-shot #bts one-shot #jeon jeongguk #kim taehyung #park jimin #jung hoseok #min yoongi

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 11: THE MONSTERS OF THE WEEK

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a series of mine in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, we’ll be cancelling our flight to Tokyo as we look up at the impressive size of a particular recurring brand of foe in Sonic's universe: the Monsters of the Week. (Excluding Chaos, who we've already covered.)

So for reasons that should be obvious, this edition of Sweet or Shite is going to be a little different. Seeing how we’re covering more than one villain - and since you can only say so much about characters who aren’t really characters - this will instead be a series of mini-reviews, one after another, for each monster. I figured this was the best course of action since the alternative would be to go back and forth constantly between the monsters, and that would just be messy.

Also, none of these guys have much in the way of personality aside from “DESTROY FUCKING EVERYTHING GRRRRRRR”, so I’m not even going to bother analysing their “personalities”. Everything else will be the same as usual, of course.

And yes, I’m treating Iblis and Solaris as individual monsters. Because they barely have anything in common despite being the same beast.

Right then, we’ve got a lot of these king-size bastards to cover. Let’s go.

------

MONSTER #1: THE BIOLIZARD

The Gist: In the endgame for Sonic Adventure 2, the late Professor Gerald Robotnik was revealed to have programmed his Space Colony A.R.K. to crash down to the planet and destroy it should the Eclipse Cannon be equipped with all seven Chaos Emeralds. The heroes and villains teamed up to combat this threat (thus completely negating the game's Hero VS Dark selling point), and together, they made their way to the cannon's core.

What they didn't expect however was for their target to be guarded. In order to stop the A.R.K. from falling, they were forced to deal with the Biolizard, Gerald's original attempt at creating the Ultimate Lifeform before he decided to take a page from the Sonic OC booklet with his second attempt, Shadow. Thanks to seeing the error of his ways courtesy of one Amy Rose, Shadow himself confronted his older sibling, and Knuckles used the Master Emerald to cancel out the power of the Chaos Emeralds, thus preventing the A.R.K's collision...

Just kidding. As if to laugh at the very idea of Knuckles actually having a useful role in this game beyond treasure hunting fodder, the Biolizard immediately used Chaos Control to assume direct control of the A.R.K. in order to continue its collision course. Sonic and Shadow had no choice but to go Super, and with their powers combined, the Biolizard was beaten for good, the A.R.K. was stopped once and for all, and Shadow died but not really.

Sonic and Shadow were hailed as heroes. Even though everyone else contributed too. But apparently, only the heroes with super forms are allowed to be on the President's desk.

The Design: The Biolizard is a failed prototype, and it shows.

He's gonna sweep them bitches off their feet with a face like that.

Surprisingly, I actually dig his design. It's a bit messy, sure, but that works to his benefit in this case, since as a failed creation who demands a life support system just to function, it's justified within the context. It's a cool mesh of organic and technology, and it perfectly demonstrates the horrors that can come with trying to play God and creating life.

Unfortunately, his final form is underwhelming. He "fuses" with the A.R.K, but don't get your hopes up. It's the same design as before, only... well...

Yeah. It's just... right up there. All the way through.

The Execution: The Biolizard technically doesn't come out of nowhere, since there's a Dark Story cutscene that foreshadows his existence. But he still feels very WTF in spite of that. This adventure involving G.U.N, Dr. Eggman, and a feud between two hedgehogs, and this thing is the final challenge? It doesn't help that despite the relation, he feels very disconnected to Shadow's story when compared to Gerald, Maria, etc. (And yet ironically, he's the most interesting part IMO.)

So in regards to proper build up for a final boss, he's a bit shit. But since I like his design, and since his theme music is kickass, I'll give him a little step up. Just a little one.

Crusher Gives the Biolizard a: Thumbs Sideways!

------

MONSTER #2: IBLIS

The Gist: In the future, everything was a shitehole. This was due to a terrible beast known as Fire Chaos Iblis, who spread his penchant for destruction everywhere he went, leaving behind nothing but ruins in the process. A young hedgehog named Silver, and his friend named Blaze, have fought him for a very long time at the expense of Blaze's actual backstory, but nothing they could do kept Iblis down for long. Desperate to save their world, they followed the advice of comic relief character Mephiles the Dark, which was to find the so-called Iblis Trigger of the past via time travel, and destroy him. That Iblis Trigger was none other than Sonic the Hedgehog himself.

Except not. Turns out the guy with no mouth and snake eyes named after Mephistopheles wasn't all that trustworthy, and was using Silver for his own purposes. Undaunted, Silver continued to do a bunch of things that meant little-to-nothing, before finally defeating Iblis for definite because... he was stronger this time, I guess?

But Zoinks, Scoob! He couldn't seal Iblis away! Luckily and unluckily for him, Blaze was able to do so, and with a few emotional parting words, she vanished from Silver's time to get ready for a better game stop the threat of Iblis. That's not the end of Iblis' story however, because as it turns out, he's only part of something even more destructive... Also, Silver and Blaze didn't achieve anything anyway since Mephiles unleashed Iblis in the present time after killing Sonic.

Lol.

The Design: Get ready for a trilogy of fatigue.

You have Phase 1, which is just a clump of lava with some arms:

Good at mix tapes though.

Phase 2 is a replica of his Iblis Worm minions, but bigger. That's it.

Even he looks tired.

And for Phase 3, he finally realises he should probably try to look more worthy of a main baddie, but it still falls flat due to his ridiculous anchor feet:

"~Lava bone's connected to the fire bone~"

On the whole? Wank.

The Execution: He's from Sonic '06. What do you think?

Outside of being a lame version of Chaos, what else is there to say?

Crusher Gives Iblis a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #3: SOLARIS

The Gist: Remember Iblis? The guy I just talked about? Well he wasn't brought into existence as Iblis, but rather Solaris, the flame of hope. A time-dwelling entity of sorts, the kingdom of Soleanna had worshipped him for as long as they've lived, for reasons that can best be described as "fuck knows". In particular, Soleanna's ruler, the Duke, was devoted to harnessing the power of Solaris for the sake of being able to control time itself, and thus bring his wife back from the dead.

Sure enough, he joined her once more... by ironically getting himself killed in an accident during one of his experiments on Solaris, which also happened to split the entity into two different beings: the raw power named Iblis, and the subconscious named Mephiles the Dark. Before he died however, the Duke made the brave and heroic sacrifice of sealing Iblis - the fiery demon of death - within his own daughter, with the added deal of her never being able to cry unless that demon gets free, because who cares, she was adopted anyway.

She's guaranteed to be a strong queen if she can withstand a lifetime's worth of severe heartburn.

Anyway, the Duke got a Game Over, Silver the Hedgehog left a Chaos Emerald in his daughter's presence at the expense of the overall Sonic the Hedgehog continuity, and that was that. Ten years later, Sonic and Eggman had a tussle in Soleanna that I'm not even going to bother talking about because it's that unimportant, and eventually the aforementioned Mephiles gives Sonic a Game Over, causing Princess Elise to cry and thus release Iblis. Mephiles, the shadowy hedgehog, then uses the Chaos Emeralds to rejoin with Iblis, the fire lizard, to become Solaris, the bird made of light... Okay then.

Solaris threatens to consume all of time and space, but before he can do that, his decision to throw the Chaos Emeralds away like disused wrappers comes back to bite him in the ass, because through his friends' wise decision to collect them all, Sonic is brought back to life, and in his super form at that. Together, with Super Shadow and Super Silver, they kick Solaris' shit in, until it reverts to its original form of a tiny flame, and after some hesitance born from the sorrow of losing her biggest friendship, Elise ultimately makes the right decision and blows out the flame, thus creating a new future where Solaris - and the events of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 in general - never happened.

Does that mean the Duke is alive? What does Soleanna worship now that Solaris never existed? Who knows, who cares, I'm already getting bored talking about these guys.

The Design: Unlike with Iblis, I actually like Solaris' forms, since there's an attempt to give them some elegance rather than just making them generically ugly. Even if Phase 1 looks as though he's got a steering wheel on his back...

Literally at the helm.

And Phase 2 looks like it could be desecrated by the Dark Lord Ganondorf at any moment...

"Who wants a hug?"

But overall? I like them.

The Execution: It's still '06, so his chances aren't looking good. I WOULD give Solaris some leeway since like with the Biolizard, I like his designs and his music (though I'm that weird guy who prefers Phase 1's music)...

Buuuuuut he's still the endgame of an absolutely shitty and plothole-infested narrative. And he's technically Mephiles, so...

Crusher Gives Solaris a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #4: IFRIT

The Gist: Iblis got its own ripoff.

That ripoff's name was Ifrit.

It was in Sonic Rivals 2.

Eggman Nega sought to unleash it.

And it liked to feed on Chao, allegedly.

......

So anyway, how's your sex life?

The Design: Despite being the younger sibling, it's design is arguably better than that of Iblis. It's still nothing amazing mind you, but it's got a Firebird thing going on, so that alone makes it more pleasing to look at than any of Iblis' forms. And if it were in a fully 3D game rather than on the PSP, it would probably look a lot better with its visuals too.

Ifrit wants a belly rub!

The Execution: He shows up at the end to get killed.

Next.

Crusher Gives Ifrit a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #5: DARK GAIA

The Gist: One day, Dr. Eggman decided to have yet another go at controlling a giant monster. This resulted in the events of Sonic Unleashed, which started off with a bang when after a spectacle of action and destruction in the far reaches of space, Sonic was lured into a devilish trap by the wicked scientist. Using the negative energies of the Chaos Emeralds, Eggman fired a laser that literally broke the planet apart, in an attempt to unleash (HA!) the being sleeping within the planet's core: Dark Gaia.

Those negative energies also turned Sonic into a bizarre werewolf-hedgehog hybrid, which wasn't intentional on Eggman's part, but he dealt with him easily by letting him fall all the way down to the planet... along with the sapped Chaos Emeralds. Oops.

With the help of a strange little guy with amnesia named Chip, Sonic and his new alter-ego - the Werehog - went on a grand day out to find the Gaia Temples around the world, with the idea being to restore the Emeralds' energy one by one. All the while, Dark Gaia kept... existing, and Eggman tried to stop them. Eventually, it's revealed that Chip, bog standard comic relief that he is, was in fact Light Gaia all along, the fated nemesis of Dark Gaia. After all, you can't have dark without light, just as you can't have light without dark.

"I wish I knew how to quit you... and this boss fight."

Same song and dance from then on. Dark Gaia pops up, Sonic and Chip beat it, Gaia gets angry and transforms, then they beat it again with Super Sonic. Chip says goodbye as he prepares to sleep for nearly an eternity to keep Dark Gaia at bay, which could be seen as a metaphor for how I'm close to falling asleep for eternity due to how genuinely exhausting it is to talk about these non-characters.

The Design: I really do not like Dark Gaia's design. Outside of the purple tentacles, which are admittedly pretty cool, he's just a stick with eyes and teeth. That's all he is.

Nice nail polish, prick.

And when he becomes Perfect Ultra Mega Dark Gaia 2: The Return of Jafar, what does he transform into? ...A stick with MORE eyes and teeth.

"I'm never drinking Chaos Cola again, Chip."

So yeah. His design is boring. And he could do with eating more.

The Execution: Dark Gaia is at least set up from the beginning rather than showing up haphazardly towards the end, but that's about all the praise I can give it. Despite everything to do with Chip, the Gaia Temples, and the Gaia Manuscripts, there's still not nearly enough to make Dark Gaia truly stand out. It's the personification of the world's darkness, and it's involved in a cycle with Light Gaia... what else? What else is there for me to care about?

Also, its boss fight was the worst, and coming after the Egg Dragoon, it was like a slap in the face. Say what you will about the guy below, at least you can deal with him quickly.

Crusher Gives Dark Gaia a: Thumbs Down!

------

MONSTER #6: TIME EATER

The Gist: Young Sonic was on his merry way, then a time monster showed up to cause trouble... in time. Young Sonic was thus forced to team up with Older Sonic to combat this threat.

So they did.

......

At least Eggman was in control this time. Or Eggmen, rather.

"Did I ever tell you the time I wrote about how Sonic the Hedgehog had it pretty rough lately...?"

The Design: Not too bad, actually. Sure, it looks like a stereotypical ghost at first...

"WHAZAAAAAAAAPPPP"

...But once it's revealed to be mechanized by the Eggmen, we see its true, clockwork-esque form:

Might want to get those boils checked, buddy.

As a robotic Frankenstein abomination, I really like its time aesthetic, and its twitching and whirring, as if it's trying in vain to fight back against the Eggmen's control. Like the Biolizard, the context allows it to be a bit hideous, and it still looks cool despite that.

The Execution: Am I going to give the Time Eater a complete free pass just because it's the one that Eggman successfully controlled? No. I will freely admit that there was not enough to establish it in a way that felt satisfying, and some would say to a worse extent than Solaris or Dark Gaia.

But here's the thing: I'm more willing to let these things slide if the game isn't forcing me to try and care about it. Or to put it in another way, the plot of Sonic Generations may very much be an excuse plot in its purest form, and that will always be a shame, but that's actually why I don't mind this as much. Generations isn't pretending that the Time Eater is anything more than what it is. It's not hyping it up without being able to back its "lore" up. It's nothing more than the justification for why we're having this adventure. And since Eggman is the real baddie pulling the strings anyway, I look at Time Eater as a plot device used by Eggman, than as an actual entity of its own.

Note that I'm not saying this is ideal. I'd have loved it if Generations had more of a story, and I'd have loved it if Time Eater had more lore behind it to back it up. But I'm explaining why I'm not so harsh on it as I am with Dark Gaia or Iblis, who their respective plots tried so hard to make me care about as big bad threats, only for it to fail miserably due to how mind-numbingly boring they are. It's a lesser of two evils situation, and I'm just giving my stance on it.

Plus, again, I actually like Time Eater's design. And Eggman did succeed with it...

Crusher Gives Time Eater a: Thumbs Sideways!

------

So that’s it then. That’s your lot for today. Some of them are okay, most of them are crap, none of them are as good as Chaos. I apologise if this edition of Sweet or Shite felt a bit rushed or shoddy, but in my defense, it's hard to say much for these guys, and I try not to be too repetitive.

......

Here’s a Shadow for you.

#Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? #Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog #The Biolizard #Iblis #Solaris #Ifrit #Dark Gaia #Time Eater

[decrescendo]

Hi! I really loved your Nirvana in Fire vid, it was PERFECT and EMOTIONAL and *chef's kiss* aaaAAAAAA. Do you have any advice, recs, or tutorials for anyone who's looking to get started on vidding?

Thank you very much, I'm very happy to hear that! <3 I can't really give vidding advice since I'm still new to it and know too little, but here are some things that worked for me: 1) If you're working with lyrics and you don't have to translate anything, lay down the subtitle track first. I used to add subtitles last, but I found that if I added them first, I could see them on the timeline which made it easier to drag/align video clips to the right place. 2) If you're using someone else's translation, it's good form to credit them (and, if possible, link them to your vid after—I’m sure they will appreciate seeing their work on yours). 3) You can also vid on your phone these days, I’m just sadly not up to date with apps. I use InShot (free, with ads) to sub/compile short clips. (It also allows you to upload your own fonts, though I haven’t tried that.)

Recs/Tutorials

Youtube has a lot of free tutorials, just search "[program] + [effect]". XD Sorry if this isn’t helpful, but this is genuinely what I do. If it’s a complex program, I recommend watching a tutorial/walk-through for the kind of video you want to do without trying to follow it, just to get an overview of the interface/controls you want to use. Idk what program you're using or are planning to use, but if you're looking for recs for a program that is both free AND powerful, I AM recommending DaVinci Resolve, which is what I'm using now! The downside is that it doesn't quite look like Adobe or work quite like Adobe, and there may be fewer step-by-step tutorials to achieve specific effects, but if you're just looking to edit video/audio clips together and add a text or subtitle track, it will do the job perfectly! Coloring can also be done with Curves, as you do with Photoshop, you just have to... find the controls...... (that's what Youtube is for XD) (The Coloring tab in DVR is actually very powerful, but a lot of it is technical/professional-level; I stick to the Curves because it’s familiar and good enough for the adjustments I want to make.)

DaVinci Resolve also gives you a surprising amount of control with type/text, but:

a) I am still trying to figure it out (if it allows me to use OpenType features or enable/disable ligatures, I haven’t found those options yet. ALSO, for SOME REASON, the fonts that are available to me to use when I use Text tool vs Text+ tool are different, which is a mystery for another day).

b) It’s not intuitive or beginner-friendly. I definitely did not find the gradient/glow options on DVR until my fourth vid (the latest Nirvana in Fire one) lol. But it’s possible. (As a disclaimer, I’ve been self-learning graphics programs since my early teens so I’m pretty used to finding and figuring out the features I want to use in a program.)

tl;dr

DaVinci Resolve (what I use) PROS & CONS:

https://href.li/?https://www.blackmagicdesign.com/products/davinciresolve

(+) PROS:

Free!

Can do all the basic things AND MORE!

Easy to add audio/video tracks, subtitle tracks, basic text/title tracks

Has an entire Coloring tab (you can use Curves and ignore the more technical controls). It’s not as easy to find at first but it’s also less overwhelming (for me) to see it as a separate process that I can tab in and out of.

You can prettify your text (with difficulty).

You can make text move, fairly easily.

(-) CONS:

Layout/interface is confusing, esp. if it’s your 1st video-editing program.

Fewer resources/tutorials compared to Adobe.

Adding visual effects like gradient/shadow/glow to text is definitely harder AND you still have less control over text, compared to Adobe.

OpenType support is dicey.

Might require more processing power (every now and then the program crashes for me).

I may just be bad at this program, but unless you pre-cut the video clips you want to use—and I don’t, because I’m lazy—and then fiddle a bit with the settings and render your clip library, the playback/preview for your vid gets really laggy with every transition and effect that you add. Not sure if this is true for all video editing programs!

 OTHER programs I’ve heard were good for vidding but have not personally tried:

1) Adobe Premiere (Pro???) - USER-FRIENDLY, powerful, tons of tutorials for both basic features and for special effects that they make easy for you. It probably lets you do a lot of fancy type things too. If you have experience with Photoshop or any image-editing program, Adobe products have a lot of the same controls, so they’re easier to pick up.

2) Hitfilm - I have no idea what this is, but a friend of mine mentioned it to me once (she hasn’t used it either) XD

The best thing to do is to jump right in, really! I’ve been enjoying vidding because working with audio and timing keeps me stimulated (whereas gif-ing is purely visual and harder for me to focus on). Good luck, have fun!  FINAL DISCLAIMER: I’ve only done 4 or so fanvids, and I only started this year and used that one program (and AfterEffects, once), so please take everything I say with a grain of salt lol.

#replies #omg i'm so sorry for this wall of too much not-very-useful information #i've bolded my recs!!!!!!!!!!

[superblyjovialtheorist-blog]

Newnan Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30264

"Newnan Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30264

Newnan Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30264

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I am 20 years old. I live in Florida which is by far the WORST states to have auto insurance. I've only been in 2 accidents, both not my fault. One was a small fender bender (which my friend decided to get a PIP claim even though he didnt get hurt so he could snag some money from the government). The other i totaled my car, but that was over 2 YEARS AGO. This is a no fault state which sucks because both of them werent my fault!!!!! Currently my auto insurance is 253 dollars! I'm a college student and i CANNOT afford that, but thats the cheapest one I found. Geico and all the popular ones wont even look at me. And it also adds on the my mom was in an accident (also not at fault) she got hit from behind at a red light and of course they penalized her for that too. Florida is a fraud state, they penalize you for everything when its no fault. Does anyone know how i can lower my auto insurance? It's been 2 years since I totaled my car and almost 2 and a half 3 years from the small fender bender. I also got a small speeding ticket from maybe september or december of last year, but thats it. no other tickets. thanks!""

Can a health insurance company find out if you are NOT a full time student?

Is there any way that your health insurance company can or will find out if you are a full time student or not? Usually i am a full time student but this semester i have a class that is only 2 credits, therefore i have 11 credits and technically am not full time. My dad recently received a letter asking for me and him both to sign it and list the name of the school i go to etc. So my question is this, will they call and verify with the school? thanks""

Car insurance for 21 yr single female scion fr-s/ subaru brz?

Does anyone know from personal experience about how much insurance for this car would cost? good student driver discount on parent's policy accident free.

What is the cheapest way to get the Good Student Discount on my car insurance?

I am 19 and graduated from high school. I was wondering if there is a very cheap way to be considered a student , and get a 3.0 and above GPA to qualify for the discount. It would be saving me over $700 a year. Thanks in advance""

What would be a rough estimate on a monthly insurance price for and 18 yr old kid with a '12 motorcycle?

I have no previous accidents or anything But I want a new ninja. Just a ballpark if you can

If i pay more of a down payment on my insurance will i get a lower premium?

Cost for the car im looking at monthly is $398, they want a $401 down payment, if i pay $501 will it take it down?""

Canceled Car Insurance?

So, I found out today, that State Farm canceled my car insurance. My coverage was good through Feb. 1st. My billing date is also Feb. 1st, but they usually charge me a day or two late. They charged me today for my renter's insurance, which is how I found out that I have no car insurance. State Farm never informed me that they were canceling my policy. They said I have had too many incidents. I have had 2 accidents and 1 ticket in the past 2 years. One accident was my fault and the other was not. The ticket was because of the accident. My question is: What can I do to get insurance with another company when I have not had insurance for the past 4 days (even though I didn't know it) and is it going to be a lot more expensive because I do not have a current policy?""

Question about insurance coverage?

will the insurance company pay for a scratch on car thats really small and will my rates increase for it?

What reputable health insurance companies are out there?

My mom doesn't have health insurance and my job doesn't give insurance to family members. I would like to pay monthly to a health insurance company so my mom could get health check up when she needs it. Do you know any health insurance companies that can accept low monthly payments since I don't get paid that much?

What is the CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE?

What is the CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE?

What does auto insurance deductible mean?

I just bought a new car but the bank that financed the loan is asking for proof of auto insurance on the car with a comprehensive and collision deductible of $1000 maximum. I put AAA insurance on the vehicle and they gave me a $500 deductible on both comprehensive and collision. Do i need the $1000 deductible or am i good with the $500 deductible?

Buying a car + insurance?

I currently do not have a car nor insurance. If I buy a car, am I supposed to get insurance first and then the car, or a car first and then insurance? How does this work? This is in Washington.""

What is north carolinas cheapest car insurance company.?

What is north carolinas cheapest car insurance company.?

What will happen if i go without auto insurance for a few days?

i just purchased a new car and only took the insurance cuz i wanted to drive the car off the lot. so i now have found a cheaper & better insurance company. i know i can cancel my policy with in thirty days and get a prorated refund and must show proof of new insurance. so what i am asking if i go without insurance for like a week and then buy new insurance will the rates go up because i went without insur. or will they go up because i just didnt pay the other insurance on time? can i stil cancel and get a refund if i come in a few days later than the due date? help!!

Esurance insurance question?

Hi, I was looking into getting car insurance, and Esurance gave me a great quote for NYC. Can any one share any experiences with them, I wanna know what kind of company they are, how they deal with claims, and just over all how the company is. Any help would be appreaciated. Ty""

Does anyone know of an insurance company that would insure a car for a newbie?

Looking for cheap car insurance Does anyone know of an insurance company that would insure a car for a newbie? I am looking at buying a used car ASAP to get to work.

Does anyone know of a cheap but good motor scooter insurance company?

Does anyone know of a cheap but good motor scooter insurance company in the UK?

What size alloy wheels will change the insurance of a car? (read details)?

right i've been looking at cars to buy for ages now and as I'm a seventeen year old boy insurance is ridiculous as it is. Finding cars that i can afford to buy and insure is hard. I have found a few 'perfect' cars, however a couple of them have alloy wheels instead of the standard manufacture ones. I will quote my insurance website so you can help me out: Replacement of factory fitted wheels with Alloys of the same size this doesn't alter my insurance quote one bit. Replacement of factory fitted wheels with wheels / tyres of a non standard size or specification This means i cannot get insured at all; they won't have me with them. So my question is, if a 1998 Peugeot 306 has 16 inch white wolfrace alloys, does this mean i can't get insured or not? This might be a stupid question, just want to get it right, thanks for you time, means a lot Alex.""

How will health insurance brokers be affected by healthcare reform?

will health insurance brokers still have a job?

Volvo Insurance ...... ?

I am a 16 year old male and I am looking at the 2010 Volvo C70 for my first car. I was wondering is the insurance really expensive on those ? About how much would my insurance be a year if I get that car ?

Newnan Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30264

Newnan Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30264

""What is cheaper, car insurance or motorcycle insurance?""

What is cheaper, car insurance or motorcycle insurance?""

Is it worth getting insurance?

Is it worth getting insurance on my KTM Duke 125? I'm 16 years old and just a beginner and I don't know whether I should get the insurance. The only thing I'm scared of is that someone will steal my bike. I live in Europe.

I got pulled over with no car insurance how much will the fine be?

im a california driver and i feel that the cop gave me a chance he let me drive away with my car even though my car was not insured and is unregistered and my licence/id was expired .my licence is still good but my id is expired so how much will the fine be for no insurance and did the cop really give me a break or what???

Average Teen Car Insurance Prices?

I'm a 16 year old female who is currently just looking around to see how much I can expect to possibly pay when I get my own car. Please don't give me answers like Add yourself to your parents insurance Or Have your parents call their agent ... My parents DON'T drive and I'm NOT burdening anyone else in my family to put me on their insurance plan. I want to be independent and see if I can do it on my own.. So back to the question. On average, how much money could someone in their teens expect to pay for car insurance?""

""My mustang was totaled, and now has been auctioned ,how do I get the miledge for the Insurance company?""

Im having a time with my insurance company,my mustang was torched by some thuds,I guess fro fun,It was a 2004,fresh off the show room,Im the only owner,I had very low miledge, I didnt drive her much due to taking care of my disabled husband, 40 th anniversary special, pony package and a few more items on it,red,beautiful car well taken care of. This is the problem, My insurance wants proof of the miledge,I kept my documents in the car, they had someone pick up my car and had it auctioned off,now I need to find out where the car is,I sure it was sold for parts, I need the miledge off the car,proof of the miledge.Insurance is offering me a lower price because a vehicle of that year compared to their reports have alot of miledge,well mine didnt.I am so upset because they never had someone come and look at the car,they could have gotten the milege with a little work removing the screen, can some one give me some advice,thanks""

I am a resident of California and a permit driver. Do i need to be insured or my parents' insurance will cover

me? will their insurance cover me in case of an accident or not? simply, while a permit bearer, do i still need to have an insurance?""

Need cheapest car insurance company in Alberta?

I'm 16 and I just bought a car. It's a 1998 Chevrolet tracker and I'm trying to find the cheapest insurance company. I just need liability and nothing else. Anyone have any suggestions?

Auto insurance ????????

Is it cheap being on my dads auto insurance vs me buying my own. I thinking about getting rid of full coverage.

Insurance for a child ?

I'm on my fathers insurance until I turn 26, but I have a one year old baby girl. How much will it be to have good medical insurance for just her ? She needs good insurance because she has medical issues.""

What car gives the cheapest insurance for a first time driver??

What car gives the cheapest insurance for a first time driver??

How much would auto insurance cost for a 1995 dodge viper?

I saw the car for sale for $16,000. The Viper has only 400 horsepower.""

""In NY, If one does not have health insurance and is in an accident, can he get coverage?""

No health insurance and there's an accident and now many medical bills, not long term and no permanent disabilities, but something that may accumulate to thousands of dollars in medical bills, is there any way that you can get (free) coverage through the Medicaid program or some other program?""

Why are my car insurance quotes so high for male 17 (UK)?

i have looked on a couple of comparison websites (compare the market, go compare, confused) and have found that the cheapest for provisional licence is 900 from collingwood, but then when i change to full licence the cheapest is 3000 from ecar. none of my friends have to pay this much for a full licence and some of them even hae better cars than me. i am trying to insure a clio campus 2002 1.2""

More expensive insurance?

Is insurance more expensive for a new car than a used one assuming that it's the same model from the same manufacturer?

Car insurance question?

Would it be cheaper to get insurance on a Golf GTI or a older muscle caR? because there are alot of classic car insurance companies who do great deals but i don't know and as a first car by the way. i would of thought as its an older car it would be cheaper

Car insurance help?

Is it possible for you to put someone on your car insurance plan like to add a person on? Make sence?

Got a fine for no car insurance.?

I got a fine for no car insurance in CA, what will possibly happen to me? I'm fearing the worst...although there should be no excuse for it I didn't have the money at the time.""

Car insurance for a 16 year old?

Hey, I turn 16 in a month and ive had my permit for a year then and its time to get my license. How much (an estimate) would it cost to insure a 1999 Honda Civic LX with geico?""

Cheap car insurance 22yr old just passed test but have been banned for drink driving?

hi all i've been banned from driving and now i've passed my test i need cheap car insurance but everywhere i go is way to high for me. any advice please?

Can someone else insure my car and put me as a driver?

I got a car out the dealer with my stepdads help (co signer) now I'm only 19 & I have a good job I can do my payments with no problem, the only problem is insurance is really a pain because since I'm young & I only have about 3 months with my listener my insurance costs so much a month. I was wondering if my stepdad can just open a new insurance & put me as one of the drivers. Would it be a difference on the paymets ? I'm trying to get the cheapest I can & I need help :/ & the car us under both of our names. Thank you!""

Best young drivers insurance for Fiat Stilo.?

Hi all, I was wondering how much to get insured on a 2002 1.2 petrol fiat stilo. Is there a really good cheap insurance company in ireland, Im 17 by the way.""

How much insurance should i buy ?

How much insurance should i buy ?

Does anybody no any cheap car insurance company for young male drivers plz help in Ireland thank you?

Does anybody no any cheap car insurance company for young male drivers plz help in Ireland thank you?

Are there any affordable insurance companies out there for carpenters?

i need to obtain general liability and workers comp. to start my business. looking for affordable insurance in louisiana, (preferrably in baton rouge).""

How can i reduce my car insurance?

how can i reduce my car insurance, i have had my license for 11 years, the only fault on my licence is an SP30 giving me 3 points (3yrs ago)... im a 30 yr old male UK born, i have 5yr no claims bonus, (would of been longer but i fell ill) and because im now unemployed because of disability my insurance has gone up over 1000,,,, i done a price comparison quote on a car i'm looking on buying and this is my findings ----- 1.6 Fiat multipla 2001 (factory standard) 30 yr old male with my post code 5yrs no claims, no home owner, with kids under 16, with 3points UNEMPLOYED DUE TO DISABILITY 1897.47 30 yr old male with my post code 5yrs no claims, no home owner, with kids under 16, with 3points EMPLOYED - FACTORY WORKER 872.92 why am i being given such shocking quotes,,,, is there any way of gettin better quotes???? websites used ---- (auto trader insurance comparison site) (compare the market) (go compare) (confused) please help,,, MANY THANKS :-)""

Newnan Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30264

Newnan Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30264

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-find-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-isaac-oneill/"

[jessi-31days-blog]

Day 7, Saturday, October 7th

I wake up at an astounding 1pm. 

I went to bed at 2am at the latest last night, and I have no idea what compelled my body to sleep for 11 hours. Maybe it’s because I only got 6 hours yesterday and went on that long walk? I don’t know. The DoYogaWithMe program I’m doing has day 7 as a rest day, so it has no yoga or guided meditation for day 7. I still wanted to do a quick yoga video off youtube, but I’ll happily use this excuse to not do a guided meditation today. Don’t judge me, meditation is really hard for me and I want a break lol.

Yoga Class - “Energizing Morning Yoga Routine for Busy Days” by Caren Baginski on Youtube - 9 mins:

This was a pretty short video, as you can tell. But it definitely woke me up and prepared my brain for the day. I felt a bit better afterwards.

Guided Meditation

Read a Proverb - Proverbs 7:

Look, I read it, but I honestly don’t feel like I’m the target audience for this particular chapter of Proverbs. I mean it’s about cherishing wisdom, which is great, but it’s main focus is being wise to avoid adultery. Also, I’d like to look more into certain other topics mentioned in this chapter before I decide what I believe I can learn here, so I’m going to skip this one for today. 

Blog Post - TheMighty.com - “Why Mental Illness Makes Me Not Want To Have Kids” by Angela Theresa:

The pressure on me from [redacted family member name] to have children is pretty heavy. It’s almost assumed that I will have children one day. If I gave the reason why this person wants me to have children, it may reveal who it is to the people in my life who know me, so I’ll keep this to myself. However, I don’t know if I want children or if I could even handle having children because of my mental health problems. Reading this article helped me understand a little better why I may end up choosing to not have children (or at least not biological ones) in my life. I’m going to do things differently today. I’m going to do a bit of a commentary on this blog, paragraph by paragraph, though I may skip a thing or two. So here goes.

“I do not want children — not right now at least.

I’m 22, I’m trying to build a writing and editing career, I want to travel and find love, and so much more. But I just do not want kids now.

Warning – personal opinion feminist tangent: No matter her rationale, a woman not wanting children should be entirely her choice and no one should ever question her reasons.” I’m a bit older than this woman. I’m 25. We have similar desires, though writing is more of a hobby to me and I’m pursuing a medical assistant career. I definitely agree with her opinion on a woman’s choice to not have children. The pressure society puts on young married couples to have children is unreal. It’s almost considered outlandish when a couple doesn’t want children. This expectation is pressuring people who don’t want to (or better yet, shouldn’t) breed into breeding, as to satisfy the societal norms. “As for mine: I’m not a natural nurturer, I don’t particularly like most children, the world is a cruel place to bring a child into, I like my sleep, I want to be location independent.” This is pretty much how I feel as well, aside from the idea that the world is too cruel to bring a child into. The world is cruel, but her wording makes it sound like people who do want kids like cruel people for making that choice. Other than that, I’m also not very nurturing, I LOVE sleep, and I’d like some of my own kind of independence as well. “Though my reasons are varied and multiple, I’ve come to realize that, above all else, what most inhibits me from planning children is my multiple mental illness diagnoses. I believe children and forming a family are a neurotypical privilege that, though not impossible, can be made all the more difficult by having mental health issues. I could pass on my mental illnesses to them. I will never have a biological child. I could not, in good consciousness, ever pass on the mental health hell that is my genetic makeup. Knowing that I could be condemning a child to a life where he or she would have to fight every day like I do, sometimes just to stay alive, is something that I could not bear. I know I am strong and a survivor, but there are other ways to become a badass like me. I would not wish neurodivergence on anyone.” As someone who is bisexual, the prospect of having a child has many different paths it could go, should I ever choose to be a parent. If I end up marrying a woman, and she is completely free of mental illness and has no history of it in her family, then if we want children, she can be the one to carry the child. If she also has a mental illness or does not want to experience pregnancy, we can adopt. If I marry a man, if he is completely free of mental illness, then we can either play the genetic lottery and hope our child doesn’t get my mental genetics, or we can adopt (especially if he too has mental health issues). But at the end of the day, I could not live with knowing I brought a child into this world against their will and exposed them to my mental health genetics. Like Angela here says, I also would not wish neurodivergence on anyone. “My child would have a mentally ill parent.

Even if my child somehow won the genetic lottery and did not end up with any of my mental illnesses, they would have to grow up with a mentally ill parent. I know if I had a child, I would try to always to be the best mother I could possibly be. However, no matter how much help I get or how stable I am, there will always be days where my moods fluctuate, days where I cannot get out of bed, days where I unravel.

I applaud the mothers with mental illnesses who get up every day and raise their children, but I know it’s not an environment I would be prepared to raise a child in. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself and I would not have the space or the energy left over to take care of another human being.

My brain is too unpredictable for a child.

I am too unstable for a child.” I have had periods of time where I was stable, only for one day everything just crashes for me. I feel the same way Angela does. I can try my best to maintain stability for my child, but I’m not sure I could truly give them everything they need. I’m also afraid that my tendency towards anger would make me yell at my child or be unreasonably angry at them. I know I’d never abuse my child physically, but I’ve had moments where my family or friends have done something to piss me off and I responded with way more anger than a normal person would. I just don’t trust myself to keep my cool. My brain, as Angela says about hers, is too unpredictable and unstable for a child. “I have chronic exhaustion.

Many mental illnesses come with the side effect/symptom of chronic exhaustion. I am always tired and I need constant rest. From what I hear about parenthood, there are many sleepless nights and constant early mornings. Adding a baby to preexisting chronic exhaustion probably wouldn’t end well.

At the very least, with all my quirks and stories to tell, I will be a fantastic aunt.” This is the end of the article, and this describes me as well. I have this symptom. I need my 9 hours most days, and some days I randomly need 12. Parenting would be too exhausting for me, and I feel like I would lose it. I can’t expose my child to that. I can’t really be an aunt, as I am a single child, but I can definitely be a cat mom. My parents may have to settle for a grandcat. But who knows.

Encouraging someone on Reddit - r/anxiety:

Okay, before I continue, I would just like it to be known that I’m probably going to piss some people off here. I really was going to try and avoid addressing anything political in this blog series, but this one was too important to leave out. This topic is particularly spicy considering that this is Tumblr I am posting to, of all places. So, I really am sorry if I piss you off. That being said, here’s who I encouraged today: Someone, who identifies himself as a straight man, said he was diagnosed with GAD and that his anxiety attacks only last about 30 mins, except for today. He was expressing his dislike for an answer to a question that is popular in today’s social political discourse: “Would you date or have sex with a transgender person?” This poor guy was beating himself up for his answer being no, because he felt that made him transphobic (even though he also explicitly stated that he is for trans rights). He expressed feeling severe anxiety over the fear of what people would think of him for feeling this way. He knows he’s a respectful guy who values human rights, but he’s seen the majority of people in his life (and I wouldn’t be shocked if he heard this on youtube), when presented with the same question, have answered that it’s transphobic if you don’t date or have sex with someone who is transgender. He mentions being very insecure and wants people to like him. Then, he asks what other redditors think and how they would answer the question. This is what I said: “You're not transphobic for this, and you are in no way morally obligated to date or have sex with ANYONE who is outside of your personal preferences in a partner. Don't let LGBT youtube tell you how to feel about your personal sense of attraction.

I'm a bisexual woman. What would I do if my potential partner was trans? I wouldn't care. Woman with a penis, man with a pussy, woman with a surgically created pussy, man with a surgically created dick; none of that matters to me. But that's *my* preferences.

But that doesn't make me morally superior to you in any way. Some people don't like blondes. Some people don't want to date someone who has a mental illness. Some people look for a partner with large breasts, or with/without tattoos, or someone with a lot of freckles. Some people won't date people who aren't fans of their favorite sports team, some people won't date republicans, some people won't date atheists. But we don't call people with these preferences bigoted. Yet suddenly you say you don't want to have sex with anyone from the transgender population, who in the United States alone only make up 0.6% of the population according to The Williams Institute in 2016, and now you're transphobic even though you support their rights and humanity? That's such an insane claim to make about someone. You are not a bad person, and don't let idiots or your anxiety tell you otherwise.”

Another yoga class - “Yoga To Get The Juices Flowing” by Yoga With Adriene on Youtube - 8 mins:

So my exercise for the day is kind of cheating, since it’s only a simple 8 minute yoga class, but it’s better than nothing lol. It felt good to get a bit of blood flow throughout my body and hopefully my brain. End of Day Notes: I felt better emotionally today than I did yesterday. My mood wasn’t too low, which is great. Hopefully this means I’m making improvements to my brain’s health. Only time will tell.

#self improvement #mental health #anxiety #mental illness #themighty.com #depression #yoga