#i was obsessed big time with SO BAD. like one of my biggest kpop songs obsessions

[echoesofadream]

#I like bubble a lot #and stereotype poppy and teddy bear #but these^ ones are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo good best songs in the world #stayc #kpop #kpop polls #music polls #I learned teddy bear choreo which is a compliment to the song and it's cute! very fun!! esp with the choreo yay!!! #but compare it to like so bad (which I also learnt the choreo to. and run2u also.^.^) #also I havent listened to their full discography more than once #so its possible that one day I will discover I missed a bop #that I overlooked first listen or so #i was obsessed with poppy when it came out but listening to it now after im out of that obsession it doesnt hit like the other songs #i was obsessed big time with SO BAD. like one of my biggest kpop songs obsessions #fuck I just realized I also have to vote for this. FML this really is impossible poll for me #rn im obsessed with beautiful monster #but idk if its like the universal answer or just right now.. #before beautiful monster obsession I was obsessed with same same #I feel like I should go through an obsession with all of their songs before making this poll because it very well could happen #also sorry for not including asap but tbh that song is overrated

[hyuck-xix]

EXO!!!

(for the kpop asks in case that wasn't clear)

Hello! Thanks for asking about EXO! I feel like I don't talk much about them on my blog but I love them ^_^ Actually, in terms of music, EXO is my favorite k-pop group by far.

✦ my first bias: Baekhyun. It was actually kind of funny, I discovered Chen first but through his solo music so I didn't even know he was part of EXO, but I loved his music. And then Baekhyun's Bambi came out (if this gives you a timeline for when I got into k-pop lol) and I was like 'woah who's this guy??' and then I remember watching the music video for SuperM's 'One' for the first time and it got to Baekhyun's first line and I had some kind of visceral response, like 'oh my god okay now I know what a bias is and this is it'. Like love at first sight haha. Idk, I was instantly obsessed with him. But I didn't know he was the same guy from Bambi! But once I figured out who he was, I instantly became an EXO fan.

✦ my current bias(es): Still Baekhyun :) But recently... Kyungsoo's really been wrecking me!!!There's something about him... I'm a little in love with Kyungsoo these days lol <3

✦ my album and/or era ranking (or favorite of each): I'm just going to do their full-length albums for the sake of simplicity!

Don't Mess Up My Tempo: This album is perfect in my eyes. I loveeeee the styling in the tempo mv (Jongin's striped crop top! Baekhyun's highlights! Minseok's spiky hair!), and the music video and song in general. it's one of those songs that just puts a smile on my face whenever i listen to it. But the best part of DMUMT is the rest of the tracklist. Gravity, 24/7, Bad Dream, literally every song on this album is top-tier.

Exodus: There's something about Exodus that has me completely charmed. The Pathcode teasers were maybe the biggest slay in all of k-pop teasers ever. Nothing has ever topped that in my eyes. And the songs Exodus and Playboy are some of my favorites ever. They both have this kind of playful jazzy thing going on? I'm really bad at describing music genres but they feel like special songs to me. And not to mention Call! Me! Baby!! omg!! She's such an icon and a feel-good song!! And the choreography is so fun! Also: Baekhyun's ad-lib at the end ( where he goes 'woo! baby!')-- it's at 3:13 in the mv and he makes the CHEESIEST face it makes me smile SO BIG and i think about it at least once a week lolll. I mean actually just watch Baekhyun at any point in that mv, because he was FEELING IT, he was giving it his ALL!!!

Obsession: The title track Obsession was actually my obsession for a longggg time. I can still listen to it on repeat for hours at a time. There was also a period of time where I'd watch the music video multiple times a day every day... yeah. But also the album as a whole has the same feeling for me as DMUMT. All the songs hold their own. A problem I have with a lot of NCT's discography is that a solid fraction of their b-sides in every album feel like filler songs. But this album was clearly written and produced with love and care. Every song. Every song is great. Where most k-pop groups' 'cutesy' songs are cringey at worst and bland at best, EXO somehow is able to access the heart of a fun or cute song and give it something fresh and sincere and...important somehow. Non Stop, Day after Day, and Butterfly Effect on this album are like that for me. Not to mention the absolute masterpiece bangers that are Groove and Ya Ya Ya and Baby You Are and woah if I mention any other songs I will have literally mentioned the whole tracklist!! Bruh EXO really is that good.

Ex'act: Monster is arguably *the* classic EXO title track. The chorus still gives me chills. But even though I love many of the songs in this album/repackage (Monster, She's Dreaming, Cloud 9, One and Only, White Noise) it just doesn't feel quite as special to me. EXO sets the bar really, really high.

XOXO: A little unpolished, sure, but XOXO is such an iconic album. Wolf... i know no one else likes it but the live remix!! The live remix!!!! Literally makes me want to cry every time I listen to it, it's so beautiful. That's all I'm going to say about that. Baby Don't Cry is also a gem. Heart Attack was way ahead of its time in my opinion. My Lady makes me feel nostalgic somehow, even though I never listened to it when I was young. It just makes me feel that bittersweet emotional feeling. And I unironically love Let Out The Beast lolll. I think I put this album relatively low on the list just because some of the songs sound pretty dated now--they remind me of something One Direction would put out (looking at you, 365. like actually i'd be surprised if that song wasn't originally written for 1D, it's uncanny).

The War: Okay this is the hottest take EVER because almost every EXO fan I know holds The War as their favorite album. But... oh god, I just don't like it one bit. There's only one song I genuinely love on that album and it's Boomerang, which isn't even from The War itself but from the repackage -_- I also sometimes enjoy Touch It? But I think the amount of annoyance The Eve, Ko Ko Bop, Forever, Diamond, and Chill give me... I mean they're still not terrible songs. But there's something about the production of them that bothers me? Often the instrumentation feels like it's competing with the heart of the song, like trying to be interesting at the expense of the song sounding cohesive and it just comes across as grating to me... yeah. And the vibe of the album is such a departure from EXO's established aesthetic and musical identity that it makes me question why they did it at all.

✦ how i got into them: I kind of told this story up above for the bias question, but I guess I'll talk about some of the first EXO songs I fell in love with. Obsession was one of them. Also Gravity, specifically this live performance of it--I remember actually screaming when Baekhyun opened the chorus lmao. It's interesting, because EXO's always mostly been about the music for me. Even though I've considered myself an EXO-L for almost two years now, I've never really watched a lot of reality/behind the scenes content for them. But I know their entire discography like the back of my hand, including every member's solo albums...

✦ which member would be my best friend: As I mentioned above, I don't really know the members as people as well as I'd like to. So answering this question is tricky. Probably Kyungsoo firstly. I get the impression he feels a little uncomfortable with the fame side of being an idol, and something about that really resonates with me. All through college instead of participating in school events or clubs I just find neighborhoods or woods as far away from campus as possible so i can escape from it all for a bit, and just simply exist and observe the natural world. It's hard to find other people who feel that way. I think I'd also love to be friends with Minseok and Jongin (i'm just choosing the shy line of EXO aren't I lol... but I get along best with fellow shy people, and they seem really genuine and sweet).

✦ something i associate with them (or with a bias/any member): coffee--even just the smell, flying in an airplane at night when they turn off the lights in the cabin, wool peacoats, frost on windows, the feeling of homesickness, planetariums, black Moleskine journals with grid pages.

----------------------------------------

Well, I didn't think it would be possible to write more than I did on my NCT 127 one, but here we are! lol. Sorry!

📥 send me a kpop group & i'll answer

#exo #asks #thanks again for asking for exo!! #i kinda forgot how much i love them until i was going through all their albums to do the ranking and just got flooded with warm fuzzies #<33333333333

[yukiakaren]

Kpop title track ranking: WJSN

In this series I’ll be ranking kpop groups/soloists title tracks based on my taste.

Recently I’ve been obsessing with one of their songs so I thought this would be the perfect timing to do this for WJSN!

Save Me Save You - I’m sure I don’t need to tell anyone who has heard Save Me Save You how crazy good this song is. I was sold so easily with this one and it immediately became my favorite WJSN song and it has kept it’s place all this time. And if you somehow haven’t heard this masterpiece just go listen to it, don’t read the rest of the list but go.

Last Sequence - What a comeback! I was sold on the first listen. What a robbery that this one hasn’t gotten a win on the music shows. I need more time to see if this could surpass Save Me Save You and become my favorite song from them but right now I feel like the recency bias is too big for me to change the order. And yes, this is the song I’ve been obsessed with recently.

La La Love - This one has just steadily climbed it’s way up with me. I just find it so so catchy and easy to listen to. It’s just so good!   

Unnatural - I have to admit that it took a while for Unnatural to click with me. But I mean when it did there has been no going back. It’s sooo good!

Dreams Come True - The song that made me really recognize how good WJSN can be. More mature sound compared to their earlier songs and that probably was the reason I started really liking it.

Secret - Cute, adorable and enjoyable. If I remember right this was the first WJSN song that I listen to actively acknowledging by whom it is. Not something I’d actively would have reached out for recently though.

As You Wish - Based on Queendom 2 apparently a lot of people are hyped for As You Wish but I have to say I’m not really one of them. Sure, it’s good and all but for me they do have better songs.

Happy - Cute, adorable and enjoyable part 2. Definitely one that you should go for if you need a cheery song to bring your mood up. Bit too hyper for me most of the time though xD

I Wish - Cute, adorable and enjoyable part 3. Not one of my absolute favorites but there’s nothing really wrong with this either.

Boogie Up - Cutesy and summery for sure but I think summer would just be the only time of the year when I would want to really listen to this one.

Butterfly - Butterfly just hasn’t ever really clicked with me. Not much else for me to say here, not bad but just not for me.

MoMoMo - Oh wow now I understand how people find some things too cute/sweet. This song feels like someone ordered the sweetest thing available and made them make it with triple the amount of sugar there already was. Even me, one with the biggest sweet tooth around, has found their limit here xD

I have to say Catch Me was very confusing for me. Was it just a b-side that got also promoted or what was the thing with it? I decided think it as a promoted b-side and just go with MoMoMo, but do correct me if you know better.

#WJSN #Kpop title track ranking #me

[ana0072]

I DARE EVERYONE TO RANT ABOUT THEIR

@bootyful-seventeen @bruhwheresthekpop @quitehopeful @the-likesofus @aliensrenn @eternal-carat @fyeahsoonhoon @freshbling @jinjinmyworld @junvenescence @joshoooji @jjoshuas @luvhannie @loonalovelace @lilithpooped @my-woozi-happiness @minghowdareu-blog @seventeens-diamond @uwillneverknowwho @wonwuism @yeahmacs

JOURNEY WITH KPOP, I'LL START

My history with kpop started when I was like, 8 and it was, (as of any other 8 year old during that time) because of Exo. But alas, we did not have the luxury of technology and a hand phone back then so I never really got to memorize what they look like, let alone their names. I "liked" them because of my cousin and you know how kids are with people they admire, I wanted my cousin to like me so bad.

Then I didn't see my cousin for a while and generally forgot about Exo because of my short attention span. Then years later, as BTS rose in popularity. I had the displeasure of witnessing a more than unfriendly banter on socials between two different fandoms and I realized how toxic some fandoms are, swore off of kpop. I actually despised it for a while because I hated being a basic bitch that thirsted over some korean guys.

Now I really hate how I was back then.

Then, the day it happened. The year? 2018. My sister introduced me to Seventeen. I reacted negatively to them at first of course, cause I claimed myself an anti towards the general clusterfuck of the kpop industry. But shit the first song she made me listen to just had to be Clap. And the moment my eyes landed on these 13 boys I instantly felt something tug at my heart because 'holy shit how are these guys so pretty?'

I then worked at memorizing their names.

I struggled at first. Obviously.( I couldn't memorize my classmates names and I see them on a daily basis, how the hell am I supposed to know the names of 13 people I've never met before in my life?) The solution was served to me on a silver platter when one day, I stumbled across a seventeen being crackheads video. It was perfect. With these videos, I got to understand these 13 boys better not from an idol perspective, but from a 'they are still humans' one.

For a good few months, I only liked Seventeen. I became a little crazed over them but it was still not crazy enough that I fell in love with them in a romantic sense or anything, I still had a brain mind you. Of course I knew nothing was ever going to happen and I was never going to meet them, least of all marry them. What am I? A sasaeng?

But, it was still only them. I still was aware of the other groups out there. Mostly that one that starts with a B that everyone at my school keeps obsessing over and I frankly find them slightly overrated, but I digress. I started exploring a bit. Expanding my horizon if you will. ONEUS was the next group I found but at the time they still had just debuted and I lost interest in them fairly quickly to my disappointment. (DON'T WORRY THOUGH IM A HARDCORE TO MOON NOW OKAT HWANWOONG THE BADDEZT BITCH) Back to exploring.

Of course if you love Seventeen you would have to know of their husbands, Monsta X. I tell you IM is very good at convincing me. Got7 was next. Fell in love with BamBam. Quickly realized I had a thing for rappers and the second youngest when choosing my bias because, Vernon and Jooheon could not have been a mere coincidence.

Seventeen, MonstaX, Got7, Exo, Kard, Astro, Blackpink, Twice, Red Velvet, Mamamoo, Ateez, TXT, Ikon, Super Junior, Stray Kids. I memorized all of them just for the kicks of it. Quickly became obsessed with all of them fairly quickly too.(Btw mamamoo made me realize I was Bi which was quite an interesting journey.) I even took a liking to the solo artists, like Eric Nam, Kim Samuel, Sunmi all that jazz. Even the actual kpop bands, Onewe, Day6, The Rose, N.flying.

All this, in the span of three years. I still do stay away from the big BTS, I'm just not quite interested in them no matter how much you try to convince me. Nothing against them though, they are quiet nice, I like their music, (but in terms of their faces I onky know what RM looks like) I just really dislike the amount of toxics there are in their fandom.

This year though, I decided to take on the biggest memorizing game of my life, that is the ever growing Neo Culture Technology.

I knew they had many members, I just didn't expect it to be THAT many. I am still struggling though. With Dream mostly. Doesn't mean I don't have problems with the rest. I already have no problem with 127. U is still confusing but I manage. WayV is.....um....

ANYWAYS thats my journey with kpop. I know, this was fucking long but I enjoyed it. I am still at work, memorizing some members and am currently trying to add The Boyz into my never ending list of pretty Korean, Chinese, Japanese, American and Australian men and women. Seventeen are still my number one group though. But stanning them makes me have slightly higher standards for choreos and synchronozations. Oops.

Now, as a multi, I feed off of, (live for essentially), the idols interactions with other groups. Which seriously makes me wish some fandoms would stop fighting cause it is literally helping no one when they fight. Because at the end of the day, these idols work night and day to please us, trained endlessly to get to where they are. And some of them are strapped down by contract to some soul sucking ent. company that sometimes would refuse to give them the tools to further their careers.

By fighting, it wards off potential fans because they think, if the fandom is this bad, what kind of people are the idols? Most of the negativity though is the ones against their idols dating. To which I say, who the fuck cares? Why can't you stand the people you admire be happy? (LIKE HYUNA AND EDAWN AND HEECHUL AND MOMO ARE THE FUCKING CUTEST OKAY) Because lets face it, they aren't going to date you. They never will. That's just reality. Can't you see how miserable they are? So many idols kill themselves due to depression and pressures from fans, how sad is that?

Have you seen Super Junior? Most of them are nearing their fucking 40s and they still aren't married. Thats so fucking depressing. Atrocious doesn't even begin to tell you how I feel about fans fighting for their so called oppas dating. Its irrational. Its insane.

It's apparently my journey with kpop.

#I LITERALLY DARE EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWS ME TO TELL ME THEIR STORY #do it ya cowards #kpop #kpop game #kpopidol

[fullmetal-hearrt]

Lets talk about Park Jimin.

This boy right here, dating back to somewhere in the streets of Busan, at the age of seven he wanted to be the world’s greatest swordsman and was obsessed with dinosaurs up until middle school. The he discovered singing and told his father that he wanted to be a singer and his dad said, you do you the light of my life; fastrack a few years when in middle school he decided (as if a gift from God) to become a dancer and started doing ballet and contemporary along with street dance specializing in popping. (talk about talent).

He continued being a fire dancer and if I may flex, the busan street battle champion. His dance academy literally allowed him to learn for free cause he was just.that.good.  A few years down the line he was faced with a little bit of a crossroads where he had to choose between being a professional dancer or give his dreams a try and enter the kpop industry. Jimin had four scholarships lined up for him no big deal but he decided (again, as if a gift from God) to audition for big hit entertainment and ended up being a trainee.

He met Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin , taehyung and Jungkook. People he will eventually end up loving more than anything he’ll ever love. Namjoon and Yoongi had always been kind of an enigma, one being the leader and the other being as detached from life as it gets but their lyrics always spoke what they never did. Jin was a bit difficult to understand at first but with time it started feeling weird if there wasn’t someone joking around and making everyone smile even when their legs felt like giving out. Hoseok was someone who inspired the dancer in Jimin, the way he smiled so effortlessly even while doing the hardest of chereohraphies was something to adore. Taehyung and Jimin went to the same high school and in no time became the bestest of friends, they were practically inseparable; soulmates to be exact. Sometimes it felt like they only had each other to rely on. Jungkook on the other hand was a literal child who made Jimin want to constantly dote on him and how could he not love this lil boy who somehow felt like Busan, felt like home.

The trainee period was honestly hell in every possible sense; Jimin had the shortest trainee period and trained for mere months as opposed to the three years of training everyone else had. A lot of people including the CEO of the company were at some points against Jimin being in the group which resulted in him getting kicked out a couple of times. It was a long hard training period for this boy from Busan but eventually with nothing but sheer hard work, willpower and undeniable skills he ended up being the main dancer and the lead vocalist of Bangtan boys. (Pause for flex)

After what seemed like an endless struggle, the d day came and BTS debuted on 13th June, 2013. It was honestly shocking to some to see a rookie band having such a high skill set. Their debut was somehow the talk of the town. Amusingly enough, Everyone seemed to be talking about this guy who shows his abs during the performances. It helped with the popularity but as with all good things in life, it had a major downside. He was a minor who was forced to show his body when he literally requested against it and this in-turn left him with insecurities about his gorgeous body that’ll haunt him for years to come.

BTS weren’t really that big when they debuted, they were from a small company with limited funds and had to slowly build their way to the top amongst all the prejudice thrown at them.

Jimin grew up somewhere along the way.

Everyone seemed to love his pretty eye smile, the way he smiled with those eyes that made people feel at home. Everyone talked about how amazing he is all the time but somehow Jimin didn’t seem to believe. He somehow always saw himself as lacking something, always not enough. So he practiced;

There was Jimin; practicing, constantly striving to be better and more better. Burning out his body dancing, loosing his voice singing and rehearsing till he collapses. He kept practicing to sing better, kept collapsing till he danced better and kept starving till he looked better.

He just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. Even in the vlog that was being filmed for his own birthday he couldn’t quite focus on the cake or his friends but somehow was busy covering his face with his hands because he felt like who he was without makeup wasn’t good enough.

A lot of things changed. Years, haircolours, eras; at the end of it all was one fateful day of May 5th, 2015 when BTS had their first win and for some reason Jimin couldn’t stop crying. It was hard believing that all his struggles are finally being rewarded; it felt unreal like it was a secret camera or his birthday but it was real and things were about to get even more real.

Then came wings and Jimin had to write a song for his solo and it was honestly difficult for him to settle on one thing so he kept working and kept editing and after months on end he came out with the lyrics to a song called ‘lie’. This song was the most genius thing most people had heard. It became the most popular of all the solos that were in that particular album. It set records on spotify and instantly became a highlight for their tour as well.

Somehow, a song  that was so widely loved had lyrics that were downright disturbing. He kept pleading for himself to be saved from hell. He kept saying that there are these voices that he hears and how he’s astray and how he needs to be rescued, desperately needs to be saved but nobody really cared about the lyrics as long as the choreography showed his collarbones & a choker.

A year down the line came the fateful concept of blood sweat & tears. Jimin had a lot riding on him for this. Being the center of their main single was something that was quite hard but Jimin had always been up for challenges.

He thought he had to be better, more better and the only way to be better was to look good because that’s what they say right? They say, your eyes desire first and the heart comes along later right? So he starved. He starved himself  to the point where he ate one proper meal in ten days. He kept feeling tired and collapsed a few times during rehearsals but it doesn’t matter cause it was working right? People went crazy about him in blood sweat & tears. It was a sight to see, people falling for him faster than his jacket falls off his shoulder. Blood sweat tears Jimin became a standard for sexy and charismatic that only few in kpop could reach. Who cares about his health as long as the focus  fancams keep coming in, yeah?

Things went on like this and damn BTS were on fire. Bangtan boys went from nobodies from a small company to being the biggest band in the world. They won many awards. They won daesangs and BBMAS and every other award that could fit in their bag. It was surreal. They achieved all the dreams that they had set out to achieve but this also meant that they were in uncharted territories. No one had quite done what they were doing. With the realization of being the best came the realization of being all alone on the top; Here set in the existential crises. It seemed like everyone was having a hard time, all the members were struggling too much and it was all too overwhelming to the point where they had to even consider disbanding and there are a lot of things that Jimin hadn’t imagined happening that happened but boy, this was the least of them all.

He was struggling so much but it was all on the inside you know? Never quite on surface. On surface he was everyone’s resident mochi but in reality there was hate, just so much fucking hate it made his head hurt. Everytime he opened twitter there were a dozen comments about how Jimin as a singer, as a dancer, as an artist; as a person just wasn’t enough.

But he kept powering through. Kept walking with his head high even though he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Jimin along the way decided to write a song of his own. Something that is Jimin in it’s very essence. To begin with it was a song about how he wasn’t enough. It got so bad that at one point he was practically cursing himself through his own song for just not being enough.

Along the way, there was a concert. It was one of the biggest they had ever done; citifield USA. It was a big damn deal. It felt unreal seeing so many people with their army bombs held high, tears in their eyes, all for these seven boys. Jimin was reminded of a time some months back when he was watching a video of his fans singing ‘young forever’ and how back in the day when he was having a hard time figuring himself out, he had cried his out to that song and to the people he loves so much. He couldn’t quite contain that feeling and ended up crying during the encore and boy when he cried it rained in some hearts. He cried looking at the sea of people that was no longer a mirage. Jimin being Jimin, decided that he wouldn’t sing about his struggle and his pain but would much rather sing about the fruits at the end of his despair so, he took some time out, got himself back on his own feet and did a complete 360 for his solo song.  

Instead of talking about how his pain and his struggle bothered him he just promised himself to not allow those things to bother him anymore. It was honestly therapeutic. The song that came out at the end of all this pain was a ‘promise’. A promise to help himself get through the night.

It was a long motherfucking road till here but at the end of all despair there was just one answer that he found, loving himself. The end of his despair wasn’t in how other people loved him but in how he needed to love himself, so now a days he does just that.

He loves himself.

He is goofy on stage, he doesn’t strictly stick to choreography now a days, he has his fun on stage. He isn’t scared of changing notes live on stage because even if his voice cracks or if he misses a step, now he knows, it’s only human. He eats too, atleast that’s what he tells his people. He does live shows where he is eating and tells everyone that he loves having midnight snacks and that he won’t diet again. Some people choose to believe him having no other choice but to hope he’s not caught in a lie again. The best thing though is that, He smiles a lot too recently and it’s the same smile; the same pre debut, familiar coming home Jimin eyesmile.

Guess it’s like coming home afterall, the 18 year boy who left a career, his hometown, all his loved ones and moved to the big city of Seoul all for a single dream that he had no guarantee of ever fulfilling. It really is coming home, coming home to himself and realizing that after all these years the only thing that has changed is that he became BTS’s Jimin from Park Jimin but underneath it all it’s just that same boy from Busan who can’t laugh without flinging his body across the room. The same boy who gets offended when asked about his height. The same little boy with the world’s biggest heart holding all of the love in his lil’ mochi hands and his little pinky that he has intertwined to make a promise, not just for us to love us but for him to love himself the way he deserves to be loved.

And honestly, I think that’s fucking beautiful.

#park jimin #bts #bts jimin #bangtan boys #jimin #jikook #jihope #vmin #minjoon #yoonmin #bangtan #kim seokjin #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #jhope #min yoongi #kookmin #kpop #mochi #chimchim #pjm #jiminstans #promise #park jiminie #bts jiminie

[thefandomfuckery]

The Album (Enhanced)! Review!

Let me start off by saying some obvious things especially to people who read this blog. First off I’m not a Blink. I really like BP a lot, their music is refreshing, their aesthetic is eye-catching, and I think these girls really have something that’ll take them far, I can’t wait to see that, and will support where I can. But compared to my other fan ventures in the rpf in the past, I would not call myself a “Blink”.

I really had to ruminate on this album cause not only is it short but it is a statement as a first album. So I’ll construct my feelings best I can on the short period I’ve had to draft this.

— How You Like That (8/10)

I’ve listened to this song so many times, not because it’s my favorite but because it’s so indulging. And I think it gets a lot of flack for being similarly toned to KTL. If this would have came out after Ice Cream I think it would have been received a little differently. 

Now the lyrics are pure karma revenge. It feels way more invigorating then most songs of the same ilk. Where all of them sound bitter and scorned. This one has enlightened superiority. Which I find is VERY ON BRAND for BP and I really love that. There’s not really any standout lines like in other songs we’ll talk about but I think as a single it’s bombastic and high energy; they saw people liked that in their music and replicated that to a T. I think this does a much better job then similar projects like Work From Home > Down. Same team wants to make the same song but didn’t really understand why the first did so well. 

The instrumentals especially during the chorus are so uniquely earworm. It does not stick to one beat continuously. The slow interludes really bring those high pace parts at the end and into the chorus into higher motion. It really just is a solid song. Is it bombastically THEIR BEST? No. But I think it comes it, steals your money and walks out like a boss.

— Ice Cream ft. Selena Gomez (7/10)

Like the previous I’ve listened to this song a lot and I was actually pretty lukewarm on it for the first few days. It was a fine single. I like the bubblegum splendor of it, the summer taste, the simplicity in it’s finest. And though I still like it, I do think it’s smaller then anything else on the album. It’s fine in that respect, the variety is welcome and I think this will have marketability and uses down the line. Overall it’s just okay.

The music on this one unlike the last, where we hear one continuous beat; lots of American production has this, sometimes it really HITS, the speed up and slow down of the one on Ice Cream really makes you jive, the ice cream truck melody in the back is actually clever, I wish it was slightly more prominent. 

And Lisa’s verse kind of slam dunks the whole song. It’s kinda so clever that I think everyone in the industry should work with them just because of that. 

I actually do like Selena, though I don’t think she adds much with BP because her voice is almost too similar in range and tone. 

THE ONLY PART I WILL CRITIQUE HIGHLY ON IS. WHY WASN’T THE LINE: “Diamonds on my wrist / Coldest with the kiss, so he calls me ICE QUEEN.” <<< I kept singing this instead thinking it was the line and then saw the lyrics and went, wait, why he calling you ice cream!!!!

— Pretty Savage (9/10)

So when I heard this song, with no lyrical context, I went “pretty smooth and sassy” I didn’t have much to connect with other then some of the interludes of the song were nice transitions, which means it’s too calm to make it a single. 

Then I saw the lyrics.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. It’s the baddest bitch song I have ever heard. This is the song SOME GG want to make and pathetically try to emulate this ENERGY but cannot because it sounds fake as fuck. 

The lyrics are so borderline “yes queen step on me with your 6 inch heels” and a big fat call out letter to the world. I mean what else is there to say. 

It’s not super complex production wise, I really like that piano opening and some of the harmonizing “ahhhs”. But where the lyrics speak for the songs I can’t even be disappointed.  

— Bet You Wanna ft. Cardi B (6/10)

I thought I’d have more to say about this song. It was definitely the most HYPED song on the album. But it’s also the shortest song as well. I really want to like this song more then I do but I have issues with it.

First off, the lyrics are kinda super basic. Like even more then Ice Cream. I had to really pay attention to the lyrics cause I kept zoning out and just jamming instead of actually thinking about what this song was. 

It’s kinda just a love song of sorts. It’s not bad, I just think that, yeah of course this will be a single and people aka the GP probably really jam to it because it’s so packaged.

Now about Cardi, I’m not her biggest fan. Women has talent. I like bits of her persona and though I think her verse is fine, she’s barley on the track for a whole 20 seconds. She spit a good verse and though I don’t think her raunchy lyricism that she usually spits would work here exactly, I do feel the lack of that of her talent missing. 

The part of (Ah, I’m gon' make you go blind, every time I walk my hips they don’t lie) and (Higher higher higher high boy better take it up so damn high). I think there needed to be more lyric drops like these with reverb to add some spice to this, we aren’t getting much changes in the music nor speed up / slow downs to pace differently other then Cardi a slight bit. 

I don’t hate it, I just really wanted more. 

— Lovesick Girls (9/10)

I really thought in the process of listening to this song for the first time, “nah this song is way too slow for it’s own good” But then I kept replaying it and though I tried not to comment on the videos or use them for aid in my decision. I think the beat hits and slower drops in the song for the sad melodies were very clever. 

This song is bittersweet high. It’s lyrically a combo of all these feelings of wanting to be a romantic, enjoying the good times, but feeling hurt over the bad. It’s on the verge of being complex for a pop song. Good for breakups!

The lyrics themselves are also so clever, Jennie and Lisa combo rap in the middle was very slick but Rose and Jisoo taking over the melodic sadness really took up their strengths. Jisoo end verse is so heart clenching!

There’s not much else to reminisce on here. I think it’s very well assimilated into one core idea and packs a huge punch. Deep and sound are excellent. 

— Crazy Over You (10/10)

I’m just gonna say it. This is my favorite song on the album. It does not have a second of breathing room. It’s the best energy, it has the best lyrics, the production is THE HIGHEST TIER; the most interesting music incorporation with sounds and add on’s, not too many just a perfect amount!

I’m not gonna sit here and explain all the goodness of the lyrics but “Feels wrong but it's right, right Blacked out, no night light Pinked out like fight night” and “ Got the venom to dead him if he want a snake I mean, sneak, I mean, play hide and seek.” !!!!!!!

It plays the right amount of crazy obsession to it, nothing murderous or stupid. It’s like Lovesick, a concept perfectly contained into one song. This is what I want from them all the time!

— Love to Hate Me (9/10)

I think this is the companion piece to Pretty Savage, the more personal influx of “you gonna hate me, there’s the door.” Again this is always a emotional standpoint lots of artists try to display but it doesn’t come off this cool and calculated. It’s almost too good for it’s own good. It can also be good for women with too jealous of partners, it has multiple layers. 

This one borders up to a perfect 10, I just wish the music had a bit more PUSH. I think the halts in the music cool downs are good and Lisa’s rap really mic drops the whole thing, it actually could’ve ended there! 

— You Never Know (5/10)

I called this one the dark horse the second I finished the album. It kinda is the mismatched piece in the whole album. I want to give it credit with the range it shows of the girls but at the same time, it’s not vocally interesting to be ballad like nor is it lyrically infused with interesting lines or verses to give it flavor. 

I tried just listening, then lyrically analyzing, and then infusion of both but I honestly can’t get a good stance on this song. It feels confused? It almost felt self reflecting in the lyrics but then it kind of incorporates random elements that didn’t feel like it jived. Just one long stagnate beat across the whole song. 

I’ve felt this way about their other more, acoustic ballad like songs. So this isn’t really a shock to me, I’m not sure if this is just a kpop choice, Korean ballads aren’t really the same as ones in the west, or if I just don’t connect with the song emotionally. 

— Total Score: 7.8

For their first album I think this is a solid statement. It has good range, it has impressive collabs, it showcases their talents. I think there could be good room for polish with certain songs to make them work even better but overall it really feels like AN ALBUM and not an EP. I think they could have released 2 more songs in here so instead of 6 new songs with the release we could’ve had a solid 8 with a 10 track album. But it works. I rather have a more complete work then filler. 

With a side note: This album really felt like it was suppose to be released in the Spring? Maybe it was but with the COVID and all that jazz it got pushed. But the more and more I thunk on it, the more it felt like the songs, especially the singles would have thrived better in the Summer season. I don’t think this detracts from the success it’s just a thought, realistically music release is all about timing so anything could be more or less of a hit because of when to release. 

I’ll be very anxious to see what they do with their future singles and hopefully their next album exceeds this one. I think they’re at their best when they dig deep and go musically beyond their peers. I’d even be interested in them changing format because some of their songs in layout have a lot of similarties. It’s a good formula but their evolution would interest me highly. 

#blackpink #review #i spent way too damn long making this #appreciate it

[davidardiansyah]

2019: A Year in Kpop

Dickens once wrote in his novel, A Tale of Two Cities, “It was the best of the times, it was the worst of the times”. This phrase aptly sums up the year of 2019 for Kpop - a moniker for Korean Pop.  Some called 2019 the best year for Kpop in this decade while others called it the worst year of Kpop. 

In my last review, I wrote how 2018 was a big year for Kpop as it wrecked havoc much of the western world like a storm. And as expected, in year 2019, Kpop is just getting even bigger and gaining more momentum outside its safe haven of South Korea and the larger Asian continent in general. Known for its dedicated and strong fanbases, Kpop industry has become a commodity. The soft power of Kpop — and the corollary fashion and beauty industry — catapults the South Korean economy, racking in billions of dollars back into the country, especially with the success of the global acts like BTS and BlackPink. Suddenly, everyone wants a bit of Kpop. The western media were scurrying to appeal and sign on with Kpop acts such as BTS, BlackPink, Monster X, Ateez, TXT and SuperM to name a few. 2019 saw Kpop acts appear in many American TV shows and music festivals, as well as performing concerts in many cities. In all, it is safe to say that Kpop has taken ground in America.

To begin, 2019 is a year of BTS. A year ago I also said 2018 was the year of BTS. I told my friend that BTS has such an amazing year in 2018. To that, my friend replied: BTS hasn’t even reached their peak yet. I was a little skeptical back then. How much bigger would they get? Oh boy I was wrong. 2019 is a huge year for BTS — and even huge might be an understatement. For those who are still unaware, they are the biggest boyband in the world right now. A short for Bangtan Sonyeondan or literally Bulletproof Boyscouts, BTS broke many records and took home countless of awards this year with the release of Map of the Soul: Persona. The album takes inspiration from Jung’s thesis in psychology of the same name: Map of the Soul. Following Persona, fans are expecting that Shadow and Ego could be the next releases. For the first time since the Beatles, they had three number one album in Billboard 200 within a year. This year, the septet completed their world stadium tour and sold millions of seats, with historic performance in Wembley London and Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. However, for me, it is the performance for the MMA stage that left strong impression, especially so the solo performances.

Moreover, their single Boy-with-Luv, a collaboration with Halsey, is named the song of the year in Korean year end music awards, broke the Youtube records, and last but not least loved by many. Boy-with-Luv (Korean name:  A Poem for Small Things) is a catchy pop-song with bubbly and cheerful tones complementing the visuals.The B-side tracks also shine with Mikrokosmos being the feel-good song and Make it Right, composed by Ed Sheeran, as your mainstream chill-pop song. Home is my personal favourite with its jazz and R&B textures, followed by Jamais Vu for its interesting musicality. The album ends with Dionysus, a hard-hitting hip-hop of old school Bangtan. 

If the Kpop boy group is dominated by BTS, one could said BlackPink is the counterpart for the girl group. BlackPink released its most anticipated comeback yet with Kill This Love which top many charts. Kill This Love was briefly named the most viewed MV in YouTube, only to be sidelined by BTS’ Boy-with-Luv just a week after. Kill This Love is a marching-band style hip hop song that is a typical of BlackPink hard-banging repertoire. This comeback pulled through YG amidst the scandals embroiling their senior group Big Bang and YG’s executives. Some might even call BlackPink as a saviour for YG. However, fans lamented for the lack of supports for BlackPink, arguably the sole powerhouse of YG right now, with Kill This Love remains but another mini album. To date, BlackPink, a three-year old group has not released a full album yet. In this album, Don’t Know What To Do is my personal favourite, followed by Kick It and Ddu Du Ddu Du remix. Admittedly, Ddu Du Ddu Du was the most successful BlackPink release ever, with the MV crossing the 1B stream in YouTube this year. BlackPink too went for a successful world tour and was featured in Coachella this year.

Now that we have cleared the big acts of 2019, let us sails through the rest of the Kpop acts. Older and senior groups like EXO and Super Junior made comebacks this year as well with Obsession and Super Clap respectively. With the members starting military services, remaining active EXO members such as Baekhyun and Chen releasing solo songs and Chanyeol and Sehun as duo. In addition to individual EXO members having busy schedule, it is no wonder and expected that we will only getting only one comeback each year. The following year we may expect more solo activities or subunits as well, especially with more members serving the military. Meanwhile, Super Junior is finally coming back as a full group, with Ryeowook and Kyuhyun ending their military service. 

It is worth mentioning that Seventeen, another rising star in Kpop is having a big year in 2019 with three releases, Home, Hit and Fear. Of those, Home catapults Seventeen to greater height earlier in the year. In my opinion, Home appeals to larger audience, while Hit is a banger and Fear just okay. Seventeen, known for their amazing vocals and dance synchronisation, is going for world tour in 2020. We can expect big thing from Seventeen. Meanwhile, MonstaX has a bumpy year in 2019. Embroiled with controversies, MonstaX saw Wonho leaving the group in the second half of the year, shocking fans both in Korea and internationally. This was a major setback given 2018 had been a big year for MonstaX. They were featured in many American shows as well as making cameo in Bare Bears series. We can only hope Wonho and the rest of MonstaX members are are coping well through this unfortunate incident. Alligator and Follow were two major releases from MonstaX this year. Both are arguably typical MonstaX sounds. Other acts like Got7, Nuest, Winner, NCT also make comebacks, but are lacking the hypes compared to Seventeen and MonstaX. Perhaps, NCT 127 who are riding into their popularity in America is worth a special mention. However, Superhuman isn’t as powerful as Regular or Simon Says. NCT dream meanwhile, cameback with Boom Boom, which surprised me with catchy chorus.

In the girl group scenes, Twice has a good year as well. I mean when will Twice not have a good year right? This nation-loved girl group has two major releases with Fancy and Feel Special. Fancy is another Twice-ish song, loved by many and doing well in charts, but pales against Boy-with-Luv and internationally against Kill This Love. In fact, all these songs were released back to back. 2019 is indeed a year fandom war. Besides BlackPink and Twice, Red Velvet made three comebacks with Zimzalabim, Umpah Umpah and Psycho. The first two were the ‘Red’ sound while Psycho ‘Velvet’. To be honest, Psycho trumps them all. Befitting the name, the soft yet piercing high pitch sound is the unique signature of this song. It’s new and fresh. Similar concept to Peek-a-Boo and Bad Boy, Psycho is a must-listen. Unfortunately, Wendy, one of the members suffered injury during the year end music festival and I wish for a swift recovery for her.

Mamamoo was another big girl group that dominated 2019. Riding on the rising popularity in 2018 with their four seasons’ albums, Mamamoo had a comeback with Gogobebe and Hip. Both songs earned high spots in Korean major charts. One of the members, Hwasa also had a successful solo career with Twit, a catchy song laced with flute textures. Other acts such as GFriend, AOA and APink also made comebacks among others. APink, being a senior group among the rest, is worth mentioning for their comeback %%. If you haven’t listen to it, please do. %% was definitely a good song to start 2019.

In the rookie scene, Tomorrow by Together, the new Bighit boy group and the junior group to BTS had an amazing year with two major releases, Crown (Korean: One Day Horns Grew Out of my Head) being the debut song and Run Away (Korean: I Will Wait for You At Platform 9 3/4), their first comeback. Crown is the fun and bubbly pop song with Run Away delivering emo-rock style. We give a round of applaud to TXT (the short form — Bighit with its naming sense) for fresh sounds, setting them apart from the senior group BTS. ITZY, the new JYP girl group also had successful debut year. If TXT is called global Global Super Rookie, ITZY is the Monster Rookie for stellar performance in Korean charts and abroad especially wth Dalla Dalla — though not my kind of sound. One special mention is Oneus with Lit, a banger with Korean inspired sound — think of BTS’ Idol. 

The budding acts like Ateez and (G)Idle both have two comebacks this year. The former with Wave, a tropical house sound and Wonderland, a marching band-inspired sound, while the latter, continuing the Latin vibes with Senorita and Lion. Everglow also had successful comeback with releases such as Bon Bon Chocolat and Adios. Both are good catchy summer songs, with Adios being another marching band-inspired sound. It seems that 2020 will see the trend shift to this style of music. Meanwhile, Pentagon made a comeback with Humph!. This was the first comeback after EDawn left the group earlier. Humph! continues to deliver the signature sound of Pentagon, with its minimal layers of instruments.

The solo scene is dominated by Chung Ha, with successful releases such as Gotta Go at the start of the year and Snapping the second half. Chung Ha overshadowed Sunmi, who made a comeback with Lalalay. Lalalay is unique for its retro high-pitch eastern inspired instrumental sound. Big acts like IU and Taeyeon also made huge comebacks this year. IU’s Love Poem and Blueming performed well in charts as usual. Taeyeon had two releases, one at the start of the year with Four Seasons and one at the end of the year with Spark. Both songs did well. In the R&B scene, Heize released We Don’t Talk Together, composed by BTS’ Suga. The song is laden thick with emotions coupled with melancholic instrumental and visual. It seems that females dominated the solo scene, even in the OSTs scenes, with songs from Hotel del Luna blocking the charts. Of which, Heize’s Can You See My Heart?, Taeyeon’s A Poem About You and Paul Kim’s Goodbye are my personal favourites. Correction, Paul Kim is perhaps the only male act worth mentioning here who had a successful year with Me after You, Goodbye and Every Day Every Moment (a 2018’s release!).

In the duo scene, Bolbbagan4 and AKMU had an amazing 2019. Being digital Monster, Bolbbagan4’s releases are loved by Koreans. This year, the duo cameback with Workaholic. Meanwhile, AKMU is finally making a comeback after Lee Chan Hyuk’s release from military service with How Can I Love the Heartbreak, You Are the One I Love. Both songs earned them Perfect-All-Kill (PAK) in Korean charts (after the new system). The other PAK worth mentioning are IU’s Love Poem and Blueming as well as BTS’ Boy-with-Luv — the only PAK with the old system, arguably harder to achieve. Congratulation to all winners.

The band scene saw the rise of Jannabi, the indie band with retro sound. For Lovers Who Hesitate is an ode to the nineties, with its warm and tender retro sound. It’s also worth mentioning that the vocalist of Jannabi has charming and swoon-worthy vocals. Although the band faced some bumpy road that ended up with one member leaving the team, Jannabi is an act to watch for. N-Flying also had a successful start of 2019 with Rooftop. Originally the song didn’t do well in the chart but slowly rising and top the rank eventually, making them a rising newcomer in this industry. That leaves us with mature group like Day6 who has had stable releases over the years. This year Day6 releases Sweet Chaos, an alternative-rock bop.

While 2019 was a good year for many acts, 2019 also saw the rear side of Kpop. I won’t go through them in detail but it’s good to reflect on these series of events and hopefully do better in the next decade. To begin, 2019 is marred by the Burning Sun prostitution and drugs scandal that led to Seungri quitting Big Bang and Yang Hyun Suk leaving YG. Following this, the Jung Joon Young’s scandal on the sharing of explicit content in KakaoTalk, a Korean messaging platform, caused many acts to retire from the entertainment industry and brought others into the spotlight. The floodgate didn’t just stop there, B.I., the leader of iKon was also reported to have purchased drugs some years ago. B.I. left iKon, who had a successful 2018. The end of the year, we also learnt that the Produce 101 series were rigged with briberies and vote manipulations. The producers reportedly picked the final line-ups prior to nation-producers’ final voting counts. That is why also X1 and IZ-one had tough year in 2019, despite both of them having good releases prior to the exposé. I wonder how their future will look like? Lastly, Park Kyung exposed some artists for suspicion of sajaegi, or chart manipulation, that sparked a nationwide discussion. In fact, the issue of sajaegi had been raised up multiple times in the recent years but seemed to have blown-up more this year, with many artists stand in solidarity against sajaegi and fairer system. 

Before we end, allow us too a moment of silence. 2019 saw the passing of fx’s Sulli and Kara’s Hara, victims of malicious commenters and haters. It seems we didn’t learn from the passing of Jonghyun two years ago. While we are deeply mourning for the loss, I hope they are now in better place, happy and resting in peace.

In short, 2019 is indeed the best year of Kpop — and the worst at the same time. However, as previously said by Jang Geu Rae of Misaeng: when a project fails, it means we never planned properly, but we shouldn’t throw away the lessons from this failed project, we should learn from the setbacks and plan for better future. Echoing RM’s speech in Golden Disk Awards, we hope that Kpop artists will continue to work hard, produce good musics and be rewarded fairly. Let us hope for better Kpop scene in the new decade.

Happy New Year.

#MyGratitude

[killjoytrait]

🌸   :  meet the simblr

i came across @hurtsim‘s post of this and he indirectly tagged everyone reading, so: here! (i also thought it would make a good first post) rules are to share your simself, traits, aspiration, anything you want to!

i tag everyone reading that wants to do it (+ also @simending because he just followed me and i’m nothing if not excitable)

i also answered the same 125 questions that you can find below the cut

happy simming! i look forward to my new life of attempting to be a simblr

1. what is your full name? dana marie [redacted]. 2. what are your nicknames? dani, red. just call me dani. 3. birthday? july 22nd. 4. what is your favorite book series? probably the percy jackson series. it was a big part of my younger years. 5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts? both. 6. who is your favorite author? rick riordan i guess? or rainbow rowell. 7. what is your favorite radio station? i don’t really listen to the radio often enough to have one. 8. what is your favorite flavor of anything? in general i like almost chocolate anything. fruit-flavored wise my favorite is blue raspberry or strawberry. 9. what word would you often use to describe something great or wonderful? in a meme context or a more serious one? bc i’ll say that something is ‘lit af’ but i’ll also say it’s fantastic or wonderful, etc. 10. what is your current favorite song? i can’t narrow it down to one, so a few are “play it cool” by monsta x, “the eve” by exo, “killing me” by ikon, “bellyache” by billie eilish, “youngblood” by 5sos, and “high hopes” by p!atd. 11. what is your favorite word? to be honest, probably ‘fuck.’ 12. what was the last song you listened to? "promise” by ateez. 13. what tv show would you recommend for everyone to watch? avatar: the last airbender or steven universe. 14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? spirited away. or coco. 15. do you play video games? not as often as i would like to, but heck yeah. 16. what is your biggest fear? being alone/forgotten. oh and holes. 17. what is your best quality, in your opinion? i can be funny sometimes. and my eyes are a nice color? 18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion? i can be really moody. also i’m anxious and sad like 25/7 so that’s not fun. 19. do you like cats or dogs better? cats. 20. what’s your favorite season? fall. spring would be alright, but it’s too rainy and also allergies. 21. are you in a relationship? i am, yes. 22. what is something you miss from your childhood? not having responsibilities. 23. who is your best friend? one of my first friends i made in my short college stint. (and also my ex-girlfriend) 24. what is your eye color? green. 25. what is your hair color? strawberry-blonde, ginger, whatever you call it. 26. who is someone you love? i love my handful of close friends. 27. who is someone you trust? my girlfriend. 28. who is someone you think about often? like forty different korean boys, i don’t even know. also my girlfriend. 29. are you currently excited about/for something? a convention i’m going to next month. 30. what is your biggest obsession? i don’t even know. it’s a tie between kpop and sour gummi worms. 31. what was your favorite tv show as a child? arthur! living that pbs kid life. 32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? no one. 33. are you superstitious? i can be, yeah. 34. do you have any unusual phobias? i’m trypophobic which is kind of unusual? i probably have others that i can’t think of though. 35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? i take 99% selfies, so both. 36. what is your favorite hobby? spending hours downloading cc and constantly remaking sims instead of actually playing my game. 37. what was the last book you read? i have no idea. i haven’t been able to finish a book since high school. 38. what was the last movie you watched? i really don’t know, yikes. 39. what musical instruments do you play, if any? i can play the opening of ‘welcome to the black parade’ and that’s about it. 40. what is your favorite animal? sloths. i love sloths. 41. what are your top 5 tumblr blogs that you follow? they’re all amazing so i dunno. 42. what superpower do you wish you had? shapeshifting. 43. when and where do you feel most at peace? probably asleep. or just lowkey chilling with my friends. 44. what makes you smile? tons of things; the moon, stuffed animals, my friends, a comfy hoodie. i might be a sad bitch but i’m a smiley sad bitch. 45. what sports do you play, if any? i don’t. 46. what is your favorite drink? i only really drink water, sprite, or lemonade. 47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? like two years ago? 48. are you afraid of heights? i’m afraid of falling. 49. what is your biggest pet peeve? customers being rude to people in the service industry. 50. have you ever been to a concert? mhm. 51. are you vegan/vegetarian? vegetarian. 52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? an artist, a pop star, or an actress. 53. what fictional world would you like to live in? ugh probably the harry potter universe but only under the conditions that i am magical and get to attend hogwarts. (based on my location i would be at ilvermorny but no thanks) 54. what is something you worry about? everything. 55. are you scared of the dark? absolutely. 56. do you like to sing? constantly. 57. have you ever skipped school? of course. 58. what is your favorite place on the planet? i’d say my room but i currently hate where i’m living so i dunno. 59. where would you like to live? a bigger city. not sure where exactly. 60. do you have any pets? i have three fish. 61. are you more of an early bird or night owl? night owl. 62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunrise, even though I rarely see them. 63. do you know how to drive? not really. 64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds. 65. have you ever had braces? no. i need them though. 66. what is your favorite genre of music? kpop isn’t technically a genre, but that. along with pop punk and alternative. 67. who is your hero? i don’t really have one that i can think of. batman? 68. do you read comic books? i used to. 69. what makes you the most angry? injustice? tons of things make me angry and that’s not a list i’m about to get into. but also terfs. 70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or a real book? it depends on how long the book is or where i’m reading. 71. what is your favorite subject in school? it was history. i’d go become a history teacher if i wasn’t so bad at college. 72. do you have any siblings? yes. 73. what was the last thing you bought? a nasa hoodie. 74. how tall are you? 5′10 or about 177cm. 75. can you cook? vaguely. 76. what are three things that you love? the sound of rain when i don’t have to be outside, being asleep, and lgbtq+ rights. 77. what are three things that you hate? going to sleep, screaming children, and biphobia. 78. do you have more female friends or male friends? female. 79. what is your sexual orientation? bisexual. 80. where do you currently live? the usa. 81. who was the last person you texted? my best fren. 82. when was the last night you cried? last night. 83. who is your favorite youtuber? probably lavendertowne. 84. do you like to take selfies? yeah. 85. what is your favorite app? probably youtube? or spotify. 86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like? my relationship with my dad is pretty good, and i don’t really have a relationship with my mom, nor do i want one. 87. what is your favorite foreign accent? um, southern brit? i also just enjoy listening to other languages even when i can’t understand them. 88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but want to visit? literally anywhere outside of the usa. i’ve never left the country. but especially rome. 89. what is your favorite number? 4, 7, and 35. 90. can you juggle? absolutely not. 91. are you religious? not really? 92. do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? space. 93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not really, no. 94. are you allergic to anything? i’m lactose intolerant and i get seasonal allergies. 95. can you curl your tongue? nope. 96. can you wiggle your ears? nah. 97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something? i’ll admit it when it’s a friend or when the person hasn’t made me mad. 98. do you prefer the forest or beach? the forest. i can’t stand sand. 99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? “just, you do you, and fuck everyone else.” from my dad 100. are you a good liar? yeah. 101. what is your hogwarts house? ravenclaw. 102. do you talk to yourself? constantly. 103. are you an introvert or extrovert? ambivert, but closer to the introverted end. 104. do you keep a journal/diary? no, i’ve tried and i can never keep up with them for more than a week. 105. do you believe in second chances? depends on what they’ve done, but usually no.   106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? turn it in. keeping it would cause me too much stress. 107. do you believe people are capable of change? once again, it depends on what they’ve done. 108. are you ticklish? sometimes? 109. have you ever been on a plane? not one that was off the ground. 110. do you have any piercings? yes, seven.  111. what fictional character do you wish was real? steve rogers. 112. do you have any tattoos? not yet, sadly. 113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? staying alive. 114. do you believe in karma? yes. 115. do you wear glasses/contacts? yeah, my eyesight is awful. 116. do you want children? no. 117. who is the smartest person you know? i really don’t know, 118. what is your most embarrassing memory? every moment of middle school. 119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter? so many times. 120. what color are most of your clothes? black. 121. do you like adventures? i love them. 122. have you ever been on tv? i don’t think so? maybe in the background of my local news or something? 123. how old are you? twenty. 124. what is your favorite quote? “sometimes i can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives i am not living.” from extremely loud and incredibly close by jonathan safran foer. 125. do you prefer sweet or savory foods? sweet!

if you actually read this far, thank you for being interested or at least bored enough to read!

TLDR: i’m a disaster bi.

(credit for the lovely traits overlay goes to @/cupidjuicecc)

#meet the simblr #that's not a tag but it is now #about me #depression tw #anxiety mention #only lightly passed by #but i want to be safe #ts4 #simblr #ts4 simblr #*mine

[fyexovideos]

I keep seeing posts and videos of MAMA 2017, but I don't understand what actually happened. Do you mind explaining please?

Ok, so let me preface this by saying that I’m not the type of person that’s gonna keep obsessing over bad stuff, and as such I forgot most of what made me incredibly angry while I watched the awards, but i’ll try my best to relive it.

What especially made me angry at the time was everyone spinning our indignation into us being angry EXO didn’t pick up literally every reward, which honestly was completely obtuse and unfair to us and EXO.

But to get that out of the way, we managed to get EXO to top (if I remember correctly) all the categories in the fan vote. Which was great. But in the end we didn’t get some we were sure would be ours. Honestly, this in itself wasn’t the biggest deal ever. It became pretty obvious that Mnet tried to please everyone and distribute the awards to as many groups as possible (this is where we all pretend to be shocked that the awards are generally rigged). It just majorly sucked that EXO pretty much sat there for hours without getting any awards until the very end. But that was not what upset us the most!

The actual big deal was the order in which the groups performed. New (or obtuse) kpop fans tend to not understand (or purposefully downplay) that this is a very important thing based on seniority and respect. Basically, the closing act is usually the oldest, most overall accomplished and most respected group/artist. Even when EXO were picking up all the awards, if Big Bang were around, they would close the show, and that was just completely normal, expected and respected.

The oldest group of the evening was Super Junior, a 10+ year old group that (among a few others) paved the way for what modern kpop is today. I (hopefully) don’t need to go into just how important they are for this industry. Not only did they not perform last, but they got to perform a total of 1 (one) song. Epic.

The second oldest group was EXO..... EXO, a group with a list of achievements and records which would warrant a separate post (or five). A group that was squeezed into the middle of the roster and got to perform, please pay attention, ahead of a rookie, 4 month old group. So before we even get to the fact that BTS, who are younger and (especially at that time still) less accomplished than both SuJu and EXO got to close the show, we needed to deal with the fact that EXO performed before a 4 month old rookie group. There is literally no excuse whatsoever for this level of disrespect. This was literally nothing other than pure disrespect. EXO themselves obviously knew ahead of time that this would happen, and they knew that once we find out and once we see this we would all lose our shit. This was, I imagine, the main reason why they were apprehensive throughout the show. They knew exactly how it would make us feel.

So honestly, after that, EXO getting the most important award of the evening really felt like lip service. 

There were some minor other things about CBX’s attendance in Japan and whatnot that all sort of slowly built up, but the performance order was the literal biggest issue, and anyone saying otherwise is just trying to make us look like petty children. I personally don’t like to go into who deserves what award, because honestly everyone works super hard and in their fans’ eyes, every group deserves the awards. But the seniority and the eminence of a group is something much more objective and palpable, and in a country like Korea it’s not something that “slipped their mind” or whatever. It is a big deal, and there is a lot of thought behind it.

To conclude this rant, I will leave you with Baekhyun’s speech for the evening. He literally had to tell us not to cry, and anyone who thinks that a group such as them would be so arrogant as to flat out say it just because they didn’t get some awards, clearly knows nothing about how humble and down to earth they always are. 

#reply

[saurusness]

I got tagged in the 57 Facts game by @chippedcupanddustybooks, thank you!

1. I freaking LOVE Pusheen to death. I identify with this cat so much. 2. I also freaking LOVE Star Wars (looking at you Chipped). 3. I also LOVELOVE all things Disney. 4. My favourite Disney princesses are Anna and Rapunzel. 5. I actually just love all cats in general. 6. My favourite musical is Cats. 7. I currently share my home with two cats. 8. .. and one doggo. 9. I love robots and droids. My obsessions with BB8 and R2D2 are similar to my obsession with Pusheen. 10. Like Pusheen, I love food. I think about food all the time and stockpile my favourite snacks like there’s an apocalypse coming. 11. Also love tea, and drink copious amounts of it. 12. I do not like pineapple on pizza. 13. I love lettuce and eat like a head of it with almost every meal, including pizza. 14. I have always loved reading, and will read almost anything. My favourite genres are scifi and fantasy. 15. I don’t like watching vlogs or listening to podcats, unless they’re well planned/edited and concise. I would always prefer to read an article rather than watch/listen to a person talk about a subject. 16. I love all nature and animals, and I’m that weirdo who gets excited and exclaims “ooh!” when they see a sparrow or a crow. No creature is too ‘common’ to warrant an excited response from me :’DD 17. Apart from cats, my biggest animal obsession is foxes. Love foxes. 18. Also a humongous fan of dinosaurs, in case that hadn’t come across through the fact that my nickname both irl and everywhere is “saurus”. 19. My favourite dinosaurs are velociraptors and bronto- and brachiosaurses. 20. I SUCK at differentiating between left and right, especially under pressure. 21. I’m a big film watcher in general, not just Star Wars, or Dinsey hehe. I love watching films and rating them. I’ve currently got somewhere around 1k films rated on IMDB, and that definitely won’t include all the ones I’ve seen, as I frequently come across one I know I’ve watched but haven’t rated, lol. 22. I’m terrible at remembering to rate the films I’ve seen or books I’ve read. 23. I used to smoke, but managed to quit about 8ish years ago, and that is definitely among the best things I’ve done for myself, and something I’m sort of proud of that I managed it hehe... 24. I have a Stitch onesie (as in Lilo & Stitch). 25. I also have a unicorn onesie (I LOVE UNICORNS #freefacts). 26. I have a Marie onesie (from Aristocats). 27. Yes, I have a fox onesie. 28. Random, but I have a bear onesie too, it’s awesome. 29. I love onesies, ok. :|  30. I don’t have a Pusheen onesie.. :< 31. I don’t like wearing jeans often, or for prolonged periods. I prefer pyjamas and skirts. 32. I love bedsheets too. I have so many awesome ones. 33. I have somewhere around 100 plushies, and each one of them has a unique name and “personality”. 34. I have been semi-banned from buying more plushies by my partner. :( 35. I currently have 42/55 of the Disney Classics. All with matching shiny Limited Edition covers hehe. 36. I also have like 200 other great films as DVDs... 37. I have a similar number pf physical books on my shelves, most of it fantasy, and almost all of them very good. I only tend to buy good books. 38. I love plants, but I suck at keeping them alive. I try so hard to follow the instructions but most of them die on me anyway. 39. I have played Horizon Zero Dawn from start to finish twice. It is among the best games I’ve ever played, highly recommend! 40. And yes I felt sad “killing” (breaking) robot dinosaurs. :( 41. I once broke both my wrists ice skating. 42. On three separate occasions across one summer, I found a person who was dying or severely injured, and had to call an ambulance for them. 43. One of those occasions was above some cliffs in a patch of forest, and a helicopter ambulance came to the rescue. 44. I taught my cat to high five. 45. I’ve never been to disneyland. :’( 46. I have a really bad tendency to become nocturnal. 47. I’m a pretty good cook! I’ve only ever created something that turned out to be inedible twice in my entire life. 48. Another one of my all time favourite games is Ori and the Blind Forest. 49. My favourite authors include Robin Hobb and Brandon Sanderson. I will read anything by them. 50. I’m fluent in two languages.  51. I love swimming, but haven’t been for a swim in at least 5 years. 52. I hate flying, because I have inner ear issues so landing is often excruciatingly painful D:  53. I’m an extreme introvert. To the point where just a few hours hanging out with physical people can result in days long social hangover where I just sleep and sleep.... 54. I practically never watch TV. 55. I tried reading A Song of Ice and Fire, but just couldn’t get into it, despite finishing the first two books. 56. (Almost there!) I don’t like coffee. 57. I really like Kpop. (DONE!!!) Thanks for reading if you did, this was fun but took way too long wtf. I tag @nolan-sims, @mellocakes, @renorasims, @pinkpxls, @simblrbreezycakes, @applezingsims, @dear-solar, @bowl-of-plumbobs, @aharris00britney idk who to tag and I don’t want to spam half of simblr, so please say I tagged you if you read this! ;D

#nonsims #non sims

[junktrait]

meet the simblr! i was tagged by the wonderful @highhopesforasimming and also did all 125 questions (two times bc the first time i was doing this my browser crashed YEET)! i don’t rlly have anyone to tag so uh! here we go! 

1. what is your full name? julian [redacted] [nope]. 2. what are your nicknames? jules but not enough people call me that tbh 3. birthday? [nope] 4. what is your favorite book series? agatha christie’s whole body of work 5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts? aliens yes, ghosts not rlly  6. who is your favorite author? richard siken! 7. what is your favorite radio station? i never listen to my car radio but i listen to a lot of kpop radios on spotify 8. what is your favorite flavor of anything? ARTIFICIAL CHERRY FLAVOR 9. what word would you often use to describe something great or wonderful? “cool beans” bc i am a dad from 1995 10. what is your current favorite song? mitski “your best american girl,” exo “monster,” nothing but thieves “graveyard whistling,” nct u “baby don’t stop,” studio killers “ode to the bouncer,” red velvet “butterflies” and lots more! 11. what is your favorite word? verisimilitude! the property of being real or true 12. what was the last song you listened to? “be the star” by pristin! 13. what tv show would you recommend for everyone to watch? tidying up w marie kondo & london spy! 14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? coraline and lately the incredibles 2! 15. do you play video games? in my free i’m either 1) playing video games or 2) editing video game content 16. what is your biggest fear? birds, caves, and open water 17. what is your best quality, in your opinion? i am very empathetic 18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion? i am A Big Bastard 19. do you like cats or dogs better? cats! 20. what’s your favorite season? summer/fall cusp! 21. are you in a relationship? nope. nope! n o p e r i p  22. what is something you miss from your childhood? it being acceptable to be rlly into winx club 23. who is your best friend? i have two! one from college and one i know from other stuff! 24. what is your eye color? blue! 25. what is your hair color? naturally brown but its like pink and brown rn as my purple dye fade out/roots come in 26. who is someone you love? MY CAT 27. who is someone you trust? MY CAT 28. who is someone you think about often? MY CAT 29. are you currently excited about/for something? eventually graduating college omg 30. what is your biggest obsession? kpop + video games 31. what was your favorite tv show as a child? the marvelous misadventures of flapjack BOY 32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? best friends! 33. are you superstitious? i knock on wood/glass a lot 34. do you have any unusual phobias? i mentioned ornithophobia earlier! so ig that counts 35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behiiiiiiiind 36. what is your favorite hobby? video games. 37. what was the last book you read? kindred by octavia butler! 38. what was the last movie you watched? i just watched bohemian rhapsody last night! 39. what musical instruments do you play, if any? oof i shouldn’t rlly say that i can play the violin because i haven’t practiced in years but ig that a little. 40. what is your favorite animal? cats! big cats small cats all cats 41. what are your top 5 tumblr blogs that you follow? i rlly like bloomlet and infinityonsims! 42. what superpower do you wish you had? time stopping. 43. when and where do you feel most at peace? WHEN I AM IN BED AND UNCONSCIOUS 44. what makes you smile? anything funny 45. what sports do you play, if any? i am a fat bitch so no 46. what is your favorite drink? strawberry ramune its pink sweet and carbonated and even the bottle has Drama 47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? i cannot even remember 48. are you afraid of heights? YES. 49. what is your biggest pet peeve? just general rudeness 50. have you ever been to a concert? yep a few 51. are you vegan/vegetarian? neither! 52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? same thing i wanna be now, a writer in some capacity 53. what fictional world would you like to live in? harry potter ig! 54. what is something you worry about? everything lol 55. are you scared of the dark? less so the dark and more the things in the dark 56. do you like to sing? NOPE i can’t 57. have you ever skipped school? oh yeah 58. what is your favorite place on the planet? best friend’s house! 59. where would you like to live? tiny house. in the forest. close to town  60. do you have any pets? two dogs and two cats that live w my parents and a cat of my own! 61. are you more of an early bird or night owl? night owl. 62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunset 63. do you know how to drive? yes and i love it 64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones 65. have you ever had braces? yep! 66. what is your favorite genre of music? kpop and alternative! 67. who is your hero? my bff’s parents! they’ve lived their lives in ways i want to! 68. do you read comic books? yeah a few! 69. what makes you the most angry? dani said it best TERFS 70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or a real book? real book always 71. what is your favorite subject in school? english! 72. do you have any siblings? yep 73. what was the last thing you bought? statistically, fast food 74. how tall are you? 5″4 shut up 75. can you cook? yeah! 76. what are three things that you love? lavender, fried chicken, being gay 77. what are three things that you hate? waking up, being tired, PEOPLE TALKING IN MOVIES 78. do you have more female friends or male friends? female! 79. what is your sexual orientation? i’m bi baby 80. where do you currently live? usa! 81. who was the last person you texted? bff! 82. when was the last night you cried? oh idk 83. who is your favorite youtuber? rn rtgame! 84. do you like to take selfies? not rlly tbh 85. what is your favorite app? just my pure usage time spotify or twitter but my actual fave is a lil dress up app called pastel girl 86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like? bad! 87. what is your favorite foreign accent? some form of european idk 88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but want to visit? japan! 89. what is your favorite number? eight 90. can you juggle? nope 91. are you religious? nOPE 92. do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? space! 93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? nah 94. are you allergic to anything? i think a specific type of sunscreen 95. can you curl your tongue? nope 96. can you wiggle your ears? nope 97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something? i will as long as it wasn’t my parents 98. do you prefer the forest or beach? FOREST beach sucks 99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? “be gay do crimes” 100. are you a good liar? moderately good i think. 101. what is your hogwarts house? hufflepuff! 102. do you talk to yourself? nah and i hate when people do 103. are you an introvert or extrovert? introvert 104. do you keep a journal/diary? nope, not committed enough and it gets depressing 105. do you believe in second chances? usually yeah but obv if its rlly severe than no 106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? return it bc 1) i’d be afraid of getting caught 2) i wouldn’t want to accidentally take money from someone who needed it 107. do you believe people are capable of change? ehhhhh 108. are you ticklish? yep unfortunately  109. have you ever been on a plane? mhmm! 110. do you have any piercings? just my ears  111. what fictional character do you wish was real? HAL JORDAN 112. do you have any tattoos? not yet! 113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? coming out probs 114. do you believe in karma? not cosmically but if you are enough of an asshole its gonna disadvantage you eventually 115. do you wear glasses/contacts? yep 116. do you want children? nope 117. who is the smartest person you know? i’m the biggest smartass i know does that count 118. what is your most embarrassing memory? every one? 119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yeah all the time 120. what color are most of your clothes? dark w majority black  121. do you like adventures? not rlly tbh. or up to a point 122. have you ever been on tv? probably not 123. how old are you? over 18! (sorry i’ve been very vague i’ve just gotten over sharing personal information!) 124. what is your favorite quote? “some days in late august at home are like this, the air thin and eager like this, with something in it sad and nostalgic and familiar” - the sound and the fury 125. do you prefer sweet or savory foods? i like both equally!

#i'm still so mad i had to do this twice bc fucking opera CRASHED #ty ty tho dani! and this motivated me to make a simself sjdfksdf #ts4

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card!

My friend and I7-suffering pal @nehamerchant123 (wow Tumblr thanks for sucking even more than a character in an André Gide novel) requested the Izumi brothers + “Big Brother Instinct” (the very reason why I picked it in my form, sorry not sorry)! Knowing me and my tendency to write Izumi bro angst, she went there and I went there lmao.

Content warnings: obsessive fan behaviour/stalking (inspired by Kpop stans and other fandoms) and spoilers up to IDOLiSH7 Part 2 Chapter 1. If you want to go unspoiled into the second season, I’d advise you not to read this one.

Edge of the Razor

Summary: All fans aren't nice people, and all breaks aren't nice to take. (Or: someone isn't happy about how her favorite idols are going, and decides to act upon it. With a weapon.)

Fandom: IDOLiSH7 Relationships: Iori & Mitsuki

Wordcount: 2.8K words

Event organized by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

Being the older sibling was sometimes tougher than single children would expect at first glance. It was a life filled with fears and anxiety: expectations, duties, goals and being a role model were all part of the course one couldn’t be responsible for being a part of.

Usually, it was mundane things: tell your little siblings not to let go off your hand when they’re very small when you’re in a crowd, speak to them about growing up and puberty, show them the ropes of the fun stuff your parents wouldn’t tell you about… and feel like a failure when you see them be better than you in every single field you’ve ever stepped a foot in.

Well, perhaps that last thing wasn’t every older sibling’s reality, but it sure had been Mitsuki’s ever since his little brother could do as much as talk.

 A lot of people would have rather talked about Iori than about him. The former was everything a parent would want to raise: easily disciplined, wise beyond his years, good at everything school-related and outside of school too, mature and sharp. There was no way around it: Iori was simply a much, much better version of him.

That didn’t prevent Mitsuki from having a few issues with him. That kid would always meddle with his dream of becoming an idol or with, well, everything! Baking? Oh, it’d be better if you did that. Redecorating his room? It’d be handier if you placed the furniture that way instead. Practicing dancing and singing for the next audition he’d fail anyway? Perhaps you should watch that idol unit before, if you listened closer to the song, etc, etc. It was hard not to get fed up with this after a while.

 However, that was all petty banter these days, right? He had achieved his dream: being an idol. He didn’t even have to throw Iori under the hype train as he did so: they had both gotten in, in the same unit. The world was finally smiling on him, didn’t it? About time! That meant the kid could stop meddling with his dream or, at least, it wouldn’t be as noticeable as it used to be.

In fact, they had bonded over being part of this unit again. Mitsuki had finally been able to be the big brother he had always sought to be, comforting his sibling when he forgot to sing and triggering one of their biggest group hugs to this day. It had been better for their relationship, but alas, being an idol was a risky occupation and he would rediscover that soon enough.

 The centre switch had been… quite the event, to say the least. This had created a rift in the middle of their fanbase: there were centre Riku fans, centre Iori fans, fans who wanted to see other members be the centre instead… It seemed like their “Perfection Gimmick” setup truly hadn’t pleased everyone, as temporary as it was. Anxiety had settled among their ranks because of that, but they decided to stick together and get through the storm united.

However, that wasn’t the case for their fanbase, and it was made abundantly clear on forums and video comments alike. They could get violent at times against each other, but also against the members themselves. It was all verbal violence, of course.

Or was it just words spelt out in cold letters on phone and computer screens?

 It had all seemed kind of surreal to them, for the first few days of this ongoing switch. It just felt like having some nasty comments about some of them, albeit there was already some discord between them because of it. It’d get better, right? They couldn’t disband from just some dissatisfied fans’ reactions to a sudden change. It’d be fine.

Perhaps Mitsuki had believed in their fans too much. He had always seen them as the nice middle school girls from the plaza or the young women having supported them since their very beginnings for some of them. They had to be nice people who would understand. Right? Well, he’d have to soon revise that judgement.

 Going undercover in the streets wasn’t too uncommon for them. They’d wear paper-thin disguises, sure, and some fans would recognize them, but they usually didn’t get into much troubles when they did so. It was a way to remember they were still humans and that this adventure could, sadly, stop suddenly at any given moment if they weren’t careful enough. It was a tough life he was always ready to face.

Fame came with that price of being recognized in the streets, after all. It usually was a pleasant experience: exchanging quick words with fans, taking selfies, getting some precious (and direct) feedback was anything but bad for them. Alas, there were times where it wasn’t the case. Times Mitsuki honestly didn’t want to believe could happen to them.

 It seemed to be a regular afternoon. He was out with Iori to buy the guys some drinks during a training session, nothing out of the ordinary. It was calm outside, not much going on even for a school-less day, everything was just fine, wasn’t it?

They had come across a couple fans, some of which hadn’t noticed them, when one of them seemed insistent in particular. That was displeasing to see: being followed around was an annoyance at first, then a chore, then turned into full-on creepy behaviour. Mitsuki had to say something: if Iori’s face indicated anything, it was that he felt uncomfortable, yet was determined to make it to the agency without causing a fuss. Too calm for his own good, huh.

 “Hey, you!” Mitsuki bolted in that creep’s direction once and for all. “What’s your deal?! You’re being a creep!!”

“Big brother,” Iori put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t scream like that. We’ll get in trouble.”

“We’re already in trouble,” the older sibling replied before looking back at the third wheel. “Stop following us around like that! We’re humans too, y’know!”

The chick, a black-haired and brown-eyed teenage girl around Iori’s age, simply stared at the latter in silence.

“If you don’t leave us alone, we’re gonna call the cops on you!”

 Despite all the threats he’d make, Mitsuki had to admit something: it didn’t goddamn work! Why was she being such a creepo anyway?! Did she get off to that shit in secret or what? Words didn’t work: perhaps it was time to simply call anyone to act on her. Standing here speaking menacingly wouldn’t do anything.

Taking a glance at her showed she was a huge Riku fan: her phone’s charm, her keychains, her jacket’s pins and her purse’s zippers all were showing Riku’s face or a red double sharp. If she was a Riku fanatic like that, why was she following them? It had to do with Iori, sure, but was it any positive or negative? In such times…

It had very little chance to be any positive.

 “I don’t want you to be the centre,” she said in a monotonous voice, staring right into the younger idol’s eyes.

“That’s an opinion shared by a lot of fans,” Iori tried to calm the game down. “I’m afraid this will last for a bit longer. I never intended and still don’t intend on replacing Nanase forever.”

“Too honest for his own kind” wasn’t an exact match, in this situation. Mitsuki could easily see Iori was speaking that way exactly because he was afraid and under pressure rather than because he wanted to apologize. The fact they were trapped by walls in a small street didn’t help.

“I don’t care about that! You should have never been centre in the first place! You’re nothing compared to my sweet Riku!! I don’t want to see you in his place!!”

That must had hit Iori somewhere, considering the distorted expression on his face. He’d have usually tried to remain calm in face of such a situation.

“Hey,” Mitsuki attempted to chime in, “c’mon now! That’s just mean! Iori’s trying his best you know!”

“Well, if he’s tried, then he’s fucked up,” she simply replied as she went to grab something in her bag. The older idol was this close to grab the pepper spray bottle he always had in his sweat’s pocket. That was becoming too dangerous.

 The chick pulled out a fucking cutter from her bag and pointed it at Iori, holding it like it was the harmful weapon she intended to use it as on them.

“Are you fucking mad?!” Mitsuki let out in a scream, hoping people would hear him too.

“Sometimes, you gotta do what you have to do,” she simply replied as she got closer to his brother’s throat. “Some people just won’t go away.”

 Okay, she was completely nuts. There was no way reasoning her. It wasn’t Mitsuki’s forte to be a third party anyway: his blood was boiling and he was retaining the urge to insult her because he was in public and in certain danger in this very situation. Iori didn’t seem like he wanted to be a mediator to such a situation: there were big drops of sweat pearling all over his temples.

“That’s enough! Get away from us, you fuckin’ psycho!!” Mitsuki attempted one last time to threaten her, using his deepest voice and harshest tone for this, but she still didn’t budge. She kept glaring at Iori with these menacing eyes.

 She launched herself off her feet with the cutter clenched in her hand, heading straight for the throat, clutching her teeth. Despite her inhuman velocity, Mitsuki had managed to leap into the fight before she could, preventing the knife from reaching Iori’s throat. It was dangerous and reckless, but his self-survival instinct had shut down as soon as he saw his brother having a real chance to die here and there, in this dark corner of a street to a fucking psycho.

 The cutter’s direction didn’t change much, though: when he slapped her hand out of that way, she instead opted for Iori’s broader chest area. In the confusion and heat of the moment, Mitsuki had fallen to the ground, taking her with him as he made her slip using his legs to sweep her off her feet. He would defend his brother to the very end and she needed to get that ingrained insider that little stalker brain of hers.

When he looked up, he noticed red dripping to the ground, right onto his hair and, soon, face. She had pulled the cutter out of a newfound wound. She had managed to cut his brother in the chest, deep enough for it to already be pouring out blood, right between his left arm and what he could assume to be his fucking heart. Iori’s breathing had heaved enough for it to be noticeable.

He wouldn’t forgive her for this.

 Mitsuki got up quickly, jumping to his feet, telling his brother to please muster up his strength and call an ambulance and the police or something. They were in a fucking pinch and she was insane enough to remain there after stabbing someone like that. It was even worse than that, in fact: when he glared at her, trying to keep his punches to himself, he noticed she was clutching onto the blooded blade and had that… crazed expression in her bloodshot eyes. She was clearly enjoying this.

“What’s the fuck is wrong with you?!” he screamed again, needing to let all that steam getting to his head. “How can you be happy about doing that?!”

“You don’t get it! I’m making Ainana better!”

“It’s just about whatever Ainana you wanna see?! There’s something missing inside that head of yours!”

 The psycho titled her head and stared at him as if he had been nonsensical all along.

“Stay out of my way.”

“Fuck no! I don’t tolerate killing people” around here!!”

His blood was boiling inside his veins.

“Why are you this angry? I’m just making things better. Ainana doesn’t need… that as their centre. Nor as a member.”

“Who are you calling that?! Iori?!”

 Something snapped inside his skull.

“We’re not objects! You can’t just decide to one day attempt murdering one of us just because we made a centre switch! For fuck’s sake, do you think of us as just props to amuse people?! You’ve been treating Iori as a fucking item all that time!! You’ve injured someone just for some idol unit!”

As much as Mitsuki loved being an idol and was an avid fan of the idol universe, this was fucking bullshit and he wouldn’t stand for this. She needed to understand and fucking pay.

 She clutched her cutter.

“You really don’t get it.”

“Why don’t I fucking get? You don’t make any sense!”

“He isn’t needed.”

“He is Iori, right?”

“Yes.”

 Something snapped even harder, the anger becoming a pounding heart and boiling thoughts of wanting to see that chick taste the floor already. It had gone from fiery and burning to strangely calm.

“I don’t give a damn if you think Iori’s unneeded. Nobody does, in fact. Our parents don’t. Our friends don’t. Other fans don’t. His classmates don’t. We have a life and you can’t just decide to end my brother’s life end like that just because you don’t like him as a centre or something. I won’t let you kill my brother in the name of some bullshit principle.”

Tears started to appear.

“You don’t get it. You don’t get why a brother would defend his sibling. You’re that unsympathetic and awful? You want me to watch not only a comrade die in front of me, but also my little brother?! Go fuck yourself, that ain’t happening on my watch!!”

 As psycho as she was, she was really fucking stupid: from the side of his view, he could see Iori had called the cops all along, his other hand resting on the cut he had taken to the chest, white shirt getting tinted in reds. His eyes were starting to get unfocused.

Fuck. This was turning into a disaster, and this bitch was still fucking ready to kill them both while she was at it.

 Before he could even think about it, as soon as he saw her get a more forward glance, he leaped at her, making her slam the ground as he pinned her. That wasn’t before she had her chance at getting a hit on him: the pain of getting stabbed right under his ribs in his fall was late to arrive. He kept a scream inside, shaking her hand with his so she’d drop her goddamn weapon already.

When she did, he allowed himself to just grab and get up from her. She had been knocked out by the shock anyway, her head having slammed the ground just as hard as her back had. Stumbling on his own feet, Mitsuki fell to the floor, back against a wall, right next to Iori sitting next to him.

 “Where… where are the cops…?” he asked, voice weakened.

“Near enough for me to hear some sirens,” Iori replied with what sounded like a cautious tone, before looking at him again. “Big brother, how are you?”

At this question, Mitsuki scoffed. “Isn’t the answer obvious…? I just got stabbed… That hurts like hell…”

“I had figured… I didn’t know the centre switch would upset people this badly…”

“Nah, it’s more than just some Riku-obsessed asshole… That girl was just psycho at that point… Don’t even try blaming this fiasco all on you, Iori…”

“Then on who?”

“Her, entirely her…”

 Despite the utter pain and the discomforting feeling of having your blood drained by an injury, he still managed to speak. He needed to keep Iori and himself awake until help arrived.

“Y’know, you can let yourself speak like someone injured. I can tell you’re trying to sound solid, but you’re zoning out… Just speak to me for now, okay?”

His brother’s unfocused eyes turned to him again.

“Did you know she could injure you?”

“Who wouldn’t? She was armed and had already hit you…”

“So you jumped to…” His face distorted as he seemed to have realized something horrific, “…protect me? Why?”

“You’re still asking? Because I’m your big brother, that’s all… It’s my mission to protect my younger sibling, isn’t it…?”

 Mitsuki gave his little brother a weak smile, yet the biggest he could make, which got met by tears and  a sudden embrace. It was weak, kind of awkward in that regard, but the emotion was there and so was the intention.

“Heh, Iori… don’t cry… It’ll be fine…”

No direct response. Silence was enough. As long as neither of them would go cold, it’d be just fine.

 Red and blue lights soon drowned the scene as people barged into the scene. Impossible to hear or see anything decently. Oh well, it was all over now.

It’d be fine.

#bad things happen bingo #i7 #izumi mitsuki #izumi iori #whump #brotp: bakery brothers #stabbing #stalking #i7 spoilers #bthb 1

[kxlebcross]

hippity hoppity here goes the long ass rant about my cousin

for context - i was a kid when i started liking kpop, like 13-14 yrs old? i was still collecting plushies, reading magazines for young teens, enjoying some music and playing sims. yes, i may have had my emo episode back then with some heavy music too, and that never went well with my mum’s older sister and her heavily religious husband, but oh boi, the worst was my cousin. she is 6 yrs older than me and that was around the time she started picking out an university to go to, so the focus HAD to be on her, the important future student and her boyfriend and this and that... she was always going on about going to art school and she was really fucking talented so she had all chances to be a really great artist, getting married to her boyfriend, wanting a family and all her future, while i was just a middle school kid dressing in all black, who suddenly started enjoying some fun kpop song on their otherwise heavy metal/rock music playlist.

when she find out, she was GIVING ME HELL for it. do you remember 2013 kpop? adtoy by 2pm, ringa linga by gd & taeyang, gentleman by psy or fantastic baby by bigbang? i fucking loved those songs. i was a kid in a really bad place in life after moving 2 countries away from the place where i was born, from all my friends, my school, my life... listen, it’s 10 years hitting this year since my mother decided about moving and i’m still not over it, so just imagine, how bad i must’ve felt back then, when it wasn’t even a year after the move? i was a devastated little kid who found a little joy in some fun, jumpy kpop tones in contrast to the usual heavy music i was listening to usually (do you remember the oldest bring me the horizon songs, all the screaming and anger? think of it as my regular playlist, my mother hated it haha). i was never a diehard fan, never had posters of idols on my walls, i only have like 2 merch pieces (and those aren’t even original cuz we were poor and could never afford it, so i looked up the merch online and my mum had a similar thing done in a local, cheaper workshop for my birthday one time, please don’t judge me for that) and it was just music for me, as well as the english, american, japanese, polish and hungarian music was just music too. 

and i got terrible shit for it from my cousin, who pretty much criticized everything about me: my clothes (we were poor, i was mostly dressing out of second hand shops and surprise - her hand-me-downs), my shitty phone (and old samsung model i got for my 9th or 10th bday), my taste in books (i really REALLY loved king’s books to which one of my classmates introduced me back then), my inability to perfectly speak the language (though i was raised in a bilingual household, the main language in my house was hungarian, and i was a stubborn kid who rarely ever wanted to speak polish at home, so when we moved i could barely speak the language, had to take extra classes every day in school for almost the entire first school year i spent here because i had to learn to write and speak properly), but the biggest shit i always got for kpop, that it’s garbage, that i don’t even understand it, it’s just shitty party music with extra steps... i resented her for that A LOT, which probably had smth to do with the age difference too, but hey, whatever. i always closed up when we visited them and my mum was understanding about it, she pretty much allowed me to just hang around the place and listen to my music, play on my phone or just read a book, and my aunt hated it - but it was at least peaceful, i occasionally got the kpop jab from my cousin which i shrugged off, but that was it... until one time i spoke up.

i can’t remember what it was about - but we were all having lunch and it was easter or christmas maybe, and at a certain point i got called out for something, maybe using my phone under the table? anyway, i spoke up about treating me like shit because i was already 15 by that and i had a big fucking mouth and no tolerance for their bullshit after listening to it for two years, which ended in my mother almost going into a shock after hearing my vicious remark, my aunt’s husband going into a raging fit and my aunt telling my mum that she’s a terrible mother and raised a terrible kid. we left after that and i didn’t return to them in the following years - i just heard from the grapevine that my cousin ended up dropping out of college because “it was just too tiring and too much”, broke up with her boyfriend and then was just sleeping around with some random dudes, and generally just misrailed her life and had to move back in with her parents who were devastated after all their hopes about my cousin went to hell.

i haven’t seen them for years - we sort of reconciled a few years later when my mother forced me to do it; my cousin probably forgot by then whatever shit she was giving me earlier and we hanged out a bit, caught up and shit... i’m pretty sure it was only because she was to get married to her boyfriend and wanted the whole family there? not important. 

the boyfriend is a pretty awful person imo tbh - he has some nationalist tendencies, not once spoke up in a very homophobic and derogatory way about all kind of lgbtq+ people, which in the end resulted in me removing him from all my social medias, because miss me with that nationalism babe. anyway, they got married and moved into their own place and into the family spotlight again, while i finished school and then years after their wedding my mum announced very proudly that i finished school with good grades and got into university - which immediately stirred the shit in the old shit bucket our relations were. my own fucking aunt dared saying that i’ll never succeed in life and will drop out than her own daughter would because i’m not made for a successful life. she never said it to my face - said it to my mother, who gave up a job she loved just so she could send me half a country away from my home so i could study where i wanted. i mean, i have my own issues with my mother too but i can’t not admire her sacrifices she made for me - so that sort off hit it off again with me and i once again burned bridges with them when moving out 3 years ago. seen them maybe two times since then? i mean, i never tried reaching out to them - they only ever got some happy birthdays and merry christmases on facebook, because my mother insisted i do that. they never called or wrote back, not for my birthday, not for christmas, not for anything else. i only found out in the last few months that on that christmas 2 yrs ago, which i spent alone, they were asked by my mum to please invite me over at least for a coffee. they never even called and my mum was heartbroken over it, because she was literal thousands of kilometres away, working and counted on her sister to invite me... my mum’s friends, basically strangers, ended up inviting me over for a christmas dinner in the end. i spent a family holiday with people i’ve literally seen five times in my life and they were more than joyful to have me in their company and they even got me a present, while my technically closes family couldn’t even spare a phone call.

now i’m 23 and my cousin is closing on 30 - and she’s suddenly overcome with that kpop obsession she has, spamming both instagram and facebook with mv links, fantaken photos, band-related posts and news articles, all heart emojis and “OmG i LoVe ThEm” kind of bullshit captions, she’s intensely drooling over certain members she’s posting a lot about, i’m seeing at least 15 posts daily about her bad drawings of members of the band.... listen.... if an artist doesn’t practice for 7+ yrs, the skills they had just start to fade away even if they were really talented (trust me, i know it from my own experiences, i used to know how to draw, sing and play a few instruments when i was young but then i stopped practicing and now the most i can draw in a stickman, i can’t play any instruments for shit and i’m a low average in singing too), but she thinks she’s some motherfucking superstar of drawing portraits (trust me, shes NOT) and keeps spamming all those pics and posts and shit.... and just seeing that sort of brought the memories back, of her treating me like shit over a thing she’s now obsessed with and i’m just sitting here like.... gag.

i could absolutely understand being a fan and being a group stan but there is a certain limit after which being a fan turns into that gross, twisted thing. do you know all those memes that go along the lines of “i don’t hate kpop because of the music, i hate kpop over the r*tarded fans it has”? that’s a whole ass mood. i’m sure that everyone who’s at least interested in kpop heard of the insane psychofan part of the fanbase.... and she’s turning into it. she’s fucking drooling over some famous strangers while she’s like... 30. and has a husband. would it be so hard for her to “keep it in her pants”? i’m super NOT interested in seeing all that crazy fan shit she’s pulling and honestly she’s grossing me out and you know people like her are the reason i can’t even fucking enjoy kpop anymore the way i did earlier - because it’s being fucking pushed down my god damned throat every-fucking-where i look. just calm the very fuck down, please. behave like a god fucking damned adult. 

#kush speaks #rant #personal #listen... im not gonna name the band #lets just say its not a rookie band so its not like shes a paedo drooling over literal children #its just mainly about the crazy fan behavior shes presenting #from what i know she started being a fan in january #and she went batshit crazy in like 3 months??? cuz ive been seeing those posts since march i think?? #or april? smth like that #i earlier didnt pay much attention tbh #but now that were in lockdown she probs has way too much time on her hands #and shes spending it being a psychofan lol #and its just making me uncomfortable #REALLY uncomfortable #supporters of that behavior pls do not interact #cousin hate tag

[vintagepatchouli]

1-110

1 - Who was the last person you texted?

@awkwrdblg

2 - When is your birthday?

16th March

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?

Tom

4 - What sports do you play?

does lifting count as sport?

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?

Aidan

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?

Slow Dance - Ziggy Alberts

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?

Why is Tom the answer to all these questions

8 - What do you feel right now?

Content

9 - What chocolate is your favorite?

Lindt

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?

None yet? :’)

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?

To stalk my friends

12 - Who is your favorite blogger?

Can’t choose

13 - Where do you want to be right now?

My new place

14 - What do you want to be in the future?

A teacher

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?

Monday night, was having a tough conversation about sad things

16 - Are you happy?

Very :)

17 - Who do you miss?

Tom

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?

No, I appreciate what I have

19 - What was the best thing you were given?

Probably my mums favourite old coat, I’m obsessed with it

20 - Who was the last person who called you?

Tom

21 - What is your favorite dish?

Anything with pasta :’)

22 - Who is your bestfriend?

Beth

23 - What is your biggest regret?

That I have spent too much of my time putting other people first when they didn’t deserve it

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?

Never

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?

Beth

26 - Name someone pretty.

Beth

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?

Tom

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?

It varies drastically depending on my mood

29 - Are you over your past?

Yes

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?

Zac

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?

Someone who cares

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?

Yes

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?

Work -.-

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?

Skirt always

35 - How’s your heart?

Still beating :’)

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?

No

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?

Yep :)

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?

stop flattering yourself thinking I only want to talk to you to sleep with you again, I missed you as a friend and you ruined everything, what a waste of 7 years

39 - Do you have any phobias?

not really

40 - Did you try to change for a person?

Yes

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?

I don’t know

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?

Nope, not if you paid me

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?

Good

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.

Beth

45 - Describe your dream date.

Breakfast, a stroll around the art gallery and then filling our time with anything else we can think of because neither of us want it to end :)

46 - Describe your dream wedding.

Something small, romantic, outdoors somewhere beautiful

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?

None

48 - Have you ever been kissed?

Yes

49 - How long is your longest relationship?

Like, three and a half years

50 - Do you regret your past?

No, it’s only made me a stronger person

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?

All the time, I’m a mug

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?

Too much

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?

Not really

54 - Are you a crybaby?

I can be

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?

Sometimes?

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?

Yes

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?

Yes

58 - Do you like getting hurt?

No

59 - Does anyone hate you?

Probably

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?

Yes, Robson

61 - What hair color do you prefer?

Blonde

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?

Nothing

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?

My family

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

Yes

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?

Yes

66 - Can you live without internet?

Nope

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?

I don’t have one yet

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?

No

69 - Are you a crybaby?

This is a repeated question

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?

Yes

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?

No

72 - Do you study hard?

Extremely, I’m a workaholic

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?

Too many times

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?

Yes

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?

Yes

76 - Did you have an accident last year?

I’m clumsy as fuck I’m lucky if I don’t have an accident every day

77 - What kind of person are you?

A caring one

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?

No

79 - Have you ever been jealous?

Yes

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?

Actions speak louder than words, so show them

81 - What are you thinking right now?

That there are a lot of questions on this list

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?

My old art teacher

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?

Yes

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?

Yes

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?

Yes

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?

Absolutely

87 - Do you have trust issues?

Yes

88 - Are you broken-hearted?

No

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?

My cat, shes the love of my life

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?

Yes

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?

Yes

92 - Who do you want to marry?

Kit Harrington

93 - Do you believe in destiny?

Yes

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?

Yes, and I have been wrong

95 - How do you look right now?

Like I just woke up

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?

No

97 - Have you found your true love?

I don’t know

98 - What should you be doing right now?

Uni work

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.

Will

100 - What is your sexual orientation?

Straight

101 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

Often

102 - How old are you?

20

103 - What age do you get mistaken for?

25 ish

104 - Who is your celebrity crush?

Kit Harrington

105 - What is your OTP?

Jonaerys

106 - What is your favorite book/series?

Game of Thrones

107 - Who is your favourite author?

I don’t have one

108 - What is your favorite band?

Marylin Manson at the minute

109 - What is your favorite TV show?

Game of Thrones

110 - What is your favorite movie?

Big Eyes

[caffeinateddeadsouls]

all of the questions (:

thank you

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.: Drifter - Falling In Reverse/Gloom Boys - Waterparks/Call Me Master - BOTDF/Throne - Bring Me The Horizon/Embers - Owl City/Going away fro college - Blink 182

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be: I wanna meet Ryan Reynolds and just talk

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17: “And I thought about the oldtimers saying kill or cure, give that curious cat a dose of satisfaction.” From A Buick 8 - Stephan King 

4) What do you think about most?: Ughhh writing and my bab

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?: No

6) Do you have any strange phobias?: I kinda have his weird fears of bridges and vacuums

7) What’s your religion?: Uhh I don’t have one.

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?: Enjoying the Vegas air and talking

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?: Movements or CBMC

10) What was the last lie you told?: I said I wasn’t a big smoker

11) Do you believe in karma?: Yep

12) What does your URL mean?: I’m always caffeinated and I’m a dead soul

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?: My greatness weakness is my words. My greatest strengths is I don’t words seriously. 

14) Who is your celebrity crush?: Ezra Miller

15) How do you vent your anger?: Smoke, write, listen to music

16) Do you have a collection of anything?: I have a accidental collection of fucking hats

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?: I am. I could always improve though

18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: I hate the sound of things scrapping and I love the sound of storms

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?: What if I never talked to my mom?

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: Yeah to both

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm: My right) A bottle of pomegranate tea and chapstick. My left) A wall

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?: White tea and Mongolia

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?: There’s a park in Vegas and it wasn’t the worst place ever but the bathrooms were so bad

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?: Marina and the diamonds

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?: 42, living your life

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?: No

27) What was the last movie you saw?: Disney’s Atlantis the lost empire

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: I had fallen off of a really scratchy wall and completely fucked up the back of my thighs.Another one is I had stabbed myself in the arm when I was like 10? and I had bled pretty bad.

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?: Life Is Strange and Movements

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?: Yeah

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?: I don’t think so? Like I’ll stop chilling with you and I won’t forget about it but I’ll just end up forgetting about you

32) What is your astrological sign?: Capricorn

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?: I think black nail polish since I’m emo

34) Love or lust?: Lust will never make the other love you and you’ll never have love without lust

35) In a relationship?: Yes

36) How many relationships have you had?: Too man to count and/or remember

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?: MAKE THEM LAUGH

38) Where is your best friend?: Idk maybe in her living room watching kpop videos??

39)  What were you doing last night at 12 AM?: Smoking weed as always

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?: Uhhhh maybe??

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?: I’d save the dog and call in sick for work

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?: A) I would B) I’d just spend them doing my normal routine but I think I’d try to do everything with more happiness C) No, I’ve always wanted to die so I think it’ll be calming

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?: Worst Wishes by Movements

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?: communication, loyalty, undying respect for each other

45) How can I win your heart?: Be nice to me, treat me good and just be with me and make me feel good

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?: I believe so. It just depends on the creativity 

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?: Uh probably cutting back on smoking?

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?: “Will return soon.”

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”:I think of this guy I met at Warped tour last year, he had this broken heart tattoo and it was amazing

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?: purple, red, blue, black, grey, white

51) What is your current desktop picture?: A punk trans moodboard

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?: Can I make it more people? Cuz I’s love to blow Trump and his fucking minions 

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: I don’t have one 

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?: Telekinesis

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experienceagain?: Meeting my mom

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?: none

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?: I’m gonna get shit for this but Dahvie Vanity

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?: To you Gee obviously 

59) Ever been on a plane?: No 

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities: Ezra Miller, Logan Lerman, Devon Bostick, Ryan Reynolds, Matthew Gray Gubler. 

#baby bat