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butch-bakugo · 3 years

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The ugly truth: yall hate bigender people.

Like really REALLY hate bigender people.

This is primarily a vent but tbh if your arent bigender/two spirit/ identify as both male and female, read it. Yall look over our experiences constantly.

I feel like theres this weird idea in the non-bigender communities that we are invaders or some shit. Its a very common experience to being bisexual in lgb spaces(obviously not to the extent faced by bi people but as both, i can see the sameities).

Like... You pick and prod to find out our sex. You assume we are all intersex, fetishize intersex people or want to have a mixed sex body. When you call us out, you only refer to one side of us. You consider one of our genders to be more important than the other in " conveint" situations. You say you respect and want to represent all nonbinary people but the only nonbinaryhood you show is the lack of gender/agender or other gender/3rd gender experiences. You call us fetishizers. You call us whores and invaders.

Like... M/f bigender people can not exist in our own damn spaces.

I dont think its a coincidence that whenever people talk about nonbinary lesbians, they never mention bigender lesbians who experience both the experiences of being a het man and lesbian woman. We are ostracized in both wlw and mlm spaces.

Youre veiwed as " too much of a woman to be around mlm" despite being a man yourself as well as " too much of a man to be around wlw" despite being a woman yourself. No matter what, youre one too many genders. Even the people who claim to support nb people in wlw/mlm spaces and claim to support nb lesbians and nb gays draw the line with you. You feel like your not allowed to experience your own identity and have to constantly question yourself if your too masc leaning to be a lesbian despite your womanhood or too fem leaning to be a gay despite your manhood.

Its a constant guessing game and self check that causes so much needless anxeity and self policing that often drives nb people to just identify as nblw or nblm. Its not fair and its not right.

I dont think its an accident that when i talk about mysogny and my experiences as a victim of it, i only get refered to as a man by people who dont like my opinion. I only get called a man, a boy, a male, etc. Same as i dont think its an accident that when i talk about toxic masculinity in ftm spaces and how hard it is to relate to mlm experiences as someone with trauma around cis men, i only get refered to as a woman by people who dont like my opinion.

Bigender people's gender is not 2 peices. Its not a male side and female side. We are both. Our genders are not seperateable. Yes, some bigender people lean and flow between which they feel most but regardless thats not the only experience.

We are forced to be in constant questioning from ourselves and others. Others ask constantly if we lean a certain way or if we present even 1% in a direction other that equally male and female. As much as yall claim to be nonbinary supporters, you really hate bigender people.

Some of us dont even bother to say we lean one way or another and end up identifying as both a het man and lesbian woman... Because being both male and female while only being attracted to women(and related enbies) is a experience shared by heterosexual men and lesbian women that all depends on the male/mlw and woman/wlw sides of a bigender person. They experience both experiences, lesbian (especially trans) women's and het( especially trans) men's orientations and understandings of the intersection of gender and orientation are never, never have been and never will be muturally exclusive.

So what do we do? We identify as both and oh boy do yall transphobic pieces of shit throw fits. You imply that we are forceing men in lesbians sexuality (which totally dosent have any transmysognisitc undertones 🙄) or we are implying trans men can be lesbians( which totally dosent have manipulative, transphobic and Transandrophobic undertones at ALL 🙄🙄).

Like all the arguments about where bigender people can and cant be are completely tone deaf. You cant seperate our experiences from each other and your going to have to live with the fact that people will exist in every orientation space who identify as a man and a woman. Yall cant keep acting like your anti-bigender sediments arent litterally just enbyphobic and transphobic. Not to mention the underlying racism of it all considering most cultural exclusive are mixes of " male" and "female".

Bigender m/f people are in litterally ALL FORMS OF ATTRACTION. This isnt a debate. They always have been. They always will be. No amount of "but they are too female for me" when they are a whole ass man too crybabying will excuse the blatant enbyphobia yall let loose on them.

#levi speaks #enbyphobia #transphobia tw #transphobia #bigenderphobia #tw homophobia #btw i didnt just type this in 2 minutes #i had it in my drafts for abit because it needed tags and i didnt have spoons but we are good now

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5typesoftrash · 3 years

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warning: this is going to be a long post. transphobia and bigotry under the cut

I am posting this rebuttal of a person who got (hilariously) angry at someone who Does Not Care (me) and wrote an entire-ass essay on this post because apparently this is how I spend my time. Defending my identity which does not need to be defended because it is immutable from transphobic trolls who won’t even see it cause they’re blocked from this account.

Anyway. Be careful looking under the cut.

TERFs, gender-crits, radical feminists, transmeds, nb-exclus, anti-mogai, and anyone else whose ideology promotes transphobia and/or trans erasure, please kindly do not fucking touch this post. I am not kidding when I say that I will report you all to tumblr for hate speech if it takes me all fucking night.

Image Description

Two screenshots of a reblog from tumblr user homosexual-means-gay. The post reads:

please tell me how literally every single gay man being repulsed by ppl with vaginas hurts you! tell us why it’s a problem gay ppl aren’t attracted to the opposite sex like straight and bi ppl are!

homosexuality isn’t a political movement it’s a regular natural innate sexuality. gay men aren’t attracted to biological females and it hurts gay ppl when you side with conversion therapists and it hurts bisexual ppl who actually are attracted to both sexes when you erase them for your homophobic agenda. you’re not a victim. you’re happy to eliminate homosexuality from existence as long as you’re able to reinforce heteronormative gender roles the gay community has always opposed. your bigotry harms trans homosexuals too, not that you transhets care about the gay trans ppl either.

erased from history? you want gay ppl correctively raped out of existence bc you love socially constructed gender roles more than human rights. you deserve all the hate you put out into the world. im sorry our innate orientation and culture prove how flimsy and useless the gender roles you define yourself by are, but homophobia will not improve your self esteem. you’re driving away ppl who would be happy to support your made up identity by attacking how we were born same sex attracted. sorry you can’t relate bc you’re straight. sorry you think you can use your privilege against us. but it’s not something we’re doing to you. it’s not something we can change and it’s not something we want to change. there’s never been a gay man in existence who likes pussy, not even the gay trans women like marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera. you’re a sad little straight girl alienating all potential allies.

hurting us doesn’t validate you. it doesn’t hurt you that no gay man will ever like pussy.

End ID

(If someone wants to do a better ID that’s fine, I just wanted to put everyone on an equal playing field when it comes to understanding the content of this post.)

I’m going to go line-by-line and refute every single bullshit thing this person said.

> please tell me how literally every single gay man being repulsed by ppl with vaginas hurts you!

factoid actually just statistical error. TERF Tommy, who has committed multiple transphobic hate crimes, is an outlier and should not have been counted. I know many cis gay men who are attracted to trans men because they are MEN, not because of the genitalia they have. And I know you want to say ‘that makes them bi’, but no, it doesn’t. You want to accuse me of homophobia? Telling another gay person that their identity is invalid just because they express it in a different way than you do is literal homophobia.

> tell us why it’s a problem gay ppl aren’t attracted to the opposite sex like straight and bi ppl are!

because... some are? And you don’t speak for the entire gay community? Especially not the other side of it, for the opposite binary gender than yours.

> homosexuality isn’t a political movement it’s a regular natural innate sexuality.

and transness isn’t a political movement either, it is a regular natural and innate gender identity. You know that gender identity is inherent, right? When people say ‘gender is a social construct’ all that means is that it is not a natural thing. Humans created the concept of gender and assigned value to it based on what we could perceive as a means of giving order to the world around us. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t important and it doesn’t mean that there aren’t parts of it that are inherent to individuals.

> gay men aren’t attracted to biological females and it hurts gay ppl when you side with conversion therapists and it hurts bisexual ppl who actually are attracted to both sexes when you erase them for your homophobic agenda.

I’m sorry this is literally incoherent. To reiterate: some gay men ARE attracted to assigned females. Yes, siding with conversion therapists hurts gay people. No, I am not siding with conversion therapists. I have never once stated -- in fact, the entire point of my post was the opposite of this -- that anyone should EVER have sexual interactions with a person they don’t want to. Even if the reason for that is because they have a genital preference, which is NOT the same thing as a sexuality.

(I know I’ve been over this before but here it is again. A sexuality is a measure of what GENDER/S you want to have sex with. A genital preference is a measure of what genitalia you are willing to get all up close and personal with. Both are innate, one can be manipulated. They are not the same thing.)

Hurting bisexual people... hey, fellow bis, am I hurting you by *checks notes* existing in time and space?

> you’re not a victim. you’re happy to eliminate homosexuality from existence as long as you’re able to reinforce heteronormative gender roles the gay community has always opposed.

I am literally A GAY PERSON. Even by YOUR MEASURE I am a victim. And I do NOT want to eliminate homosexuality, I just want people to acknowledge that language evolves and definitions can change as our society does. Also, have you ever met a trans person in real life? Because like 80% of all the trans people I’ve ever known have been gender non-conforming, so like. That invalidates that point. The trans community opposes gender roles as well.

> your bigotry harms trans homosexuals too, not that you transhets care about the gay trans ppl either.

Please point to where it says I’m straight. Please. I want to see it.

> erased from history? you want gay ppl correctively raped out of existence bc you love socially constructed gender roles more than human rights.

At this point I’m just repeating myself. Please see the above points for rebuttal.

> you deserve all the hate you put out into the world. im sorry our innate orientation and culture prove how flimsy and useless the gender roles you define yourself by are, but homophobia will not improve your self esteem.

Says the person berating a minor for *flips notecard over* agreeing with them that people shouldn’t be forced into sex. I’m sorry that you’re so hurt and angry that you have to push your pain onto other people just to feel better. I genuinely am. It makes me so sad to see how much some people are hurting. But I won’t just sit and take this kind of verbal abuse. I don’t deserve it, quite frankly.

> you’re driving away ppl who would be happy to support your made up identity by attacking how we were born same sex attracted.

I doubt anyone calling it a made-up identity wants to actually support me. Next.

> sorry you can’t relate bc you’re straight. sorry you think you can use your privilege against us. but it’s not something we’re doing to you. it’s not something we can change and it’s not something we want to change.

Again. I am not straight. I do not have any straight privilege to use against anyone. Even if I was cis I still wouldn’t be straight because I’m aroace and attracted to anyone and everyone. My gender identity isn’t something that I can change, either. And even if I couldn’t, I wouldn’t want to. I love being a man, and I love being a trans man.

> there’s never been a gay man in existence who likes pussy, not even the gay trans women like marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera.

I’m sorry, WHAT. Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera can’t be both gay men and trans lesbians. Which one are they? You gotta pick, babe.

> you’re a sad little straight girl alienating all potential allies. hurting us doesn’t validate you. it doesn’t hurt you that no gay man will ever like pussy.

So am I a transhet or am I a straight girl? Also I’m not sad, I’m quite happy with where I’m at in my life. I do not feel validated by hurting anyone, because I don’t enjoy pain. I’m not masochistic or emotionless, I am in fact hyperempathetic due to my autism, and I don’t like it when anyone is hurt. This can be evidenced by this post here where I wish well upon a group of people who have directly hatecrimed me in the past.

I will repeat that. I have literal trauma from physical violence as a result of the actions of this group of people, and I am still wishing them good things.

Nor does it hurt me that ‘no gay man will ever like [AFAB genitalia]’ because this isn’t even a true statement. As I have mentioned previously, I know personally multiple gay men who are attracted to trans men. And reader, please note the fact that this person uses a slang term, a deliberately vulgar one, where in my original post I used the medical term ‘vagina’.

Hope this clears some things up.

TERFs, gender-crits, radical feminists, transmeds, nb-exclus, anti-mogai, and anyone else whose ideology promotes transphobia and/or trans erasure, please kindly STILL do not clown on this post. I am once again not kidding when I say that I will report you all to tumblr for hate speech if it takes me all fucking night.

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thecaffeinebookwarrior · 5 years

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More Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing

A long while back, I typed up some posts ranting about characters and tropes I disliked. These were Male and Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing, and they’ve become my most popular posts yet. Recently, I was struck by some topical inspiration, and decided it was time for a sequel!

One again, these are my personal, subjective opinions! No one dictates your writing or portrayals but you, and no one can or should decide how you consume fiction. Also, as you may notice, I actually like most of the ladies below; I just don’t like certain aspects of their portrayal.

Enjoy, and happy writing everybody!

1. The Daenerys (i.e. the spontaneous war criminal)

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Who she is:

The formerly heroic Mother of Dragons, who randomly charbroiled a city full of innocent people.

Why it sucks:

I’m not even talking about this from a feminist standpoint, or how one of the most consistently heroic and powerful female characters took an abrupt and undignified backflip into the Dark Side. I’m speaking from a writer’s standpoint.

Regardless of whether you liked Daenerys, she was rivaled only by Jon and Brienne as the show’s most consistently heroic character From locking away her dragon children to ensure the safety of her subjects, to freeing countless enslaved citizens, she’s spent a decade proving herself to be an altruistic and noble figure. And then, in the final two episodes of the entire show, the writers dracarys-ed that shit.

For some comparison, just imagine how ridiculous it would be if Jon Snow suddenly went batshit and started hacking up citizens because he was feeling stressed. That’s about as plausible as Dany’s sudden passion for genocide.

And for the record, I’m not opposed to Daenerys becoming Mad Queen. If it was done properly. This would mean informing the actress far in advance so she could modify her portrayal accordingly (which they didn’t), and building up to it through foreshadowing and established attributes. Not at the last fucking minute.

Honestly, the only characters who remained narratively consistent to the very end are Drogon and Ghost, who are both precious babies who did nothing wrong.

How to avoid her:

Decide as early as possible where a character arc is going. Contrary to what Game of Thrones seems to believe, the character arc is important. It should have a beginning, challenges that incite development, and a satisfying conclusion that showcases how a character has changed and evolved.

And if you didn’t decide early? You still have to come up with a conclusion that makes sense for your character, and not slap on the most unexpected ending possible in the name of Subverting Expectations.

On that note? Subverting expectations isn’t always a good thing, and a reader predicting your ending isn’t the worst possible outcome. Focus on telling a good story.

2. The Rayon (i.e. the transgender stereotype)

Who she is:

A transgender woman (portrayed by the male, cisgender Jared Leto) dying slowly of AIDS in Dallas Buyer’s Club. Her role in the narrative is to teach the supposedly heterosexual (more on that later) main character that queer people are human beings.

Why it sucks:

Rayon is many things in Buyer’s Club, and most are firmly rooted in stereotypes. She’s a sassy, flirtatious, clothing-obsessed, self-loathing, drug-addicted prostitute. She’s hypersexual, but never treated as romantically desirable. She’s tragic, but also one of the few consistently comedic characters in an otherwise bleak film.

It’s her job to gently goad the main character into treating her with basic respect, but he never quite gets there. He refers to her with male pronouns throughout the entire film, and never acknowledges her as a woman. At one point, he aims a gun at her genitals and offers her a “sex change operation.” Which, is supposed to be comedic.

This isn’t to say that there are no sassy, flirtatious, clothing-obsessed, self-loathing, drug-addicted transgender sex workers, nor is there anything wrong with “stereotypical” trans people. It isn’t the job of the marginalized to dispel stereotypes. And if real trans people had created and portrayed Rayon, she could have been a realistic, dynamic, and compelling character.

And I say “created” because Rayon is strictly fictional. Outside of this film, she didn’t exist.

“Well, at least they tried to offer representation!” you protest. “What else was it supposed to be about? A straight dude in the AIDS epidemic?”

Well, no. Though the main character, Ron Woodroof, is presented to us as a violently homophobic, transphobic, womanizing asshole, the real Woodroof was, by all accounts, kind-hearted, open-minded, and bisexual.

What could have been a powerful story of a queer man defying his diagnosis, living joyfully and meaningfully, and helping to prolong the lives of countless AIDS-sufferers, was instead watered down to a story of a straight, pugnacious asshole and his stereotypical, long-suffering, transgender sidekick who dies to Teach Him Compassion.

How to avoid her:

Read books by trans people. Consume media they create or endorse.

List of youtube channels created by trans people here, and 21 books for trans awareness month here.

Put out a special call for transgender beta readers to point out mistakes, misconceptions, and offer tips on an authentic portrayal.

Garner insight into their perspective and experiences, and give them personalities outside of being trans.

3. The Piper Chapman (i.e. the unflavored oatmeal)

GIF source

Who she is:

The “protagonist” of Orange is the New Black, and its least compelling character. She and Larry are the sort of people who would ask me for a threesome on Tinder.

Why it sucks:

Piper’s hook is that she’s a privileged, affluent white woman who unjustly finds herself in prison for -- well, for crimes she committed. But expected to get away with, because, Privilege.

This isn’t to say Piper is boring. She’s far from likable, but being likable and being boring aren’t the same thing. In another series, watching a relatively cushioned, naive, bourgeoisie woman string along various significant others, thoughtlessly incite violence, and navigate an unfamiliar prison setting would make for thought-provoking and hilarious satire.

But when compared to her charismatic supporting cast, with richly developed backstories, motivations, and relationships, she’s painfully bland. I would much rather watch a series centered around Suzanne, Nikki, Taystee, Poussey, or even Pennsatucky. They’re just more developed, opulent, enjoyable characters.

It could be argued that Piper is the viewpoint character, whom the audience is supposed to relate to. But I can assert that I don’t relate to Piper. At all. Her lack of empathy towards others -- such as leaving Alex after the death of her mother, cheating on her fiance, and inadvertently starting a *ahem* white power gang -- alienated me to her.

Which might not be such a bad thing, but Piper is (supposedly) the protagonist. We don’t need to like her, but we should probably be able to relate to her.

Or maybe I’m just jealous that hot women aren’t inexplicably fighting over me.

How to avoid her:

Your protagonist doesn’t have to be the most likable character in your story. They don’t even necessarily have to be the most interesting character in your story. And certainly not the most morally good, powerful, or knowledgeable. But the viewpoint character is the character who we spend the most time with, and from whose eyes we perceive the story. It’s important that we understand and relate to them emotionally.

Look at examples like BoJack Horseman, Holden Caulfield, Tony Soprano, Beatrix from Kill Bill, Mavis from Young Adult, Nadia from Russian Doll. All are complex characters, with varying degrees of moral ambiguity. Yet we can empathize with them emotionally and identify with them. Even if we’ve never been in their situation, we see where they’re coming from.

4. The Charlie (i.e. the dead lesbian)

Who she is:

One of the few recurring openly queer characters in the incredibly long-running Supernatural. A lesbian who’s journey was (sort of) brought to an end when she was killed and dumped in a bathtub to incite drama.

Why it sucks:

I love Supernatural but it can be remarkably tone deaf towards queer people, women, and marginalized groups. Which, probably merits fixing, considering its following is largely comprised of queer people, women, and marginalized groups.

I probably shouldn’t have to explain why killing off women and queer people for drama is Bad, but I’ll delve into its history a little: from what I’ve read, censorship laws of the twentieth century forbade the portrayal of queer people unless they were ultimately killed or “reformed.” This is why so much LGBTQ+ fiction is essentially gay tragedy porn, and why gays are so frequently buried to aid in the emotional narrative of their straight counterparts.

That’s not to say queer people can never be killed off. I might not have an issue with Charlie’s death (especially in a show as violent as Supernatural), if she weren’t the only openly queer character at the time.

And there’s plenty of room for representation! If Dean was openly bisexual, if angels were vocally confirmed to be nonbinary, and if there were more recurring, respectfully portrayed female and sapphic characters, Charlie’s death might not feel like such as slap in the face. But as it is, it feels like a contribution to an ugly pattern.

In fairness, Supernatural has since improved in its portrayal of queer people: two gay male hunters were introduced and given a happy ending, an alternate universe version of Charlie was introduced to the cast, and God is portrayed as a bisexual man.

Yes. All of that happened. You have to see it to understand.

How to avoid her:

Educate yourself on the history of censorship in the LGBTQ+ community, as well as hate crimes and decreased life expectancy. Make sure you aren’t contributing to the suffering of queer people.

If you have only one confirmed queer character in the midst of a very large cast, I’m inclined to think you need more. You could say I’m BI-ased on the matter, though.

Look up “fridging,” and think about how many stories use the death of female characters to incite drama for men.

5. The Allison (i.e. the reformed feminine)

GIF source

Who she is:

She’s one of the most interesting members of the Breakfast Club, and that’s saying something. A self-proclaimed compulsive liar who will “do anything sexual” with or without the promise of a million dollars (as well as one of the most quotable characters in the film) she demonstrates the emotional pain and complexity that’s often ignored or shrugged off as teen angst.

And then she gets a makeover and a hot boyfriend, and suddenly everything’s better.

Why it sucks:

It would be one thing if Allison’s problem was that she didn’t feel pretty or desirable. But she never (to my recollection) offers any indication of that, and that’s part of what makes her such a refreshing portrayal of insecurity. She’s emotionally neglected by her parents, and that is appropriately treated as devastating.

It’s a complex and beautifully-portrayed problem that deserved far more than such a superficial, slapped-on solution.

Similarly, there’s no reason why Allison is paired up with the jock at the end of the film. Neither showed any romantic interest in one another until her unnecessary makeover.

A much better ending to her arc would be her finding acceptance among her newfound friends, and finally garner the recognition and acknowledgement she never got from her parents.

I was torn between using Allison for this example, or Sandy’s makeover from Grease. In both, girls are encouraged to alter their appearances to solve plot-related problems. And both were “fixed” to conform to some standard of femininity or feminine sexuality that they didn’t meet before.

How to avoid her:

If a character feels the need to change their appearance to accommodate others or be respected, that should probably be treated as a negative thing.

Your character’s appearance can be a good tool to represent emotional changes. If they alter their appearance, there should be a meaningful reason behind it -- outside of fitting into societal norms or garnering the approval of others.

A girl putting on makeup isn’t a groundbreaking plot point, and girls who don’t perform to standards of femininity aren’t broken or deficient. They don’t need “correcting.”

#writing #writing tips #writing advice #game of thrones #daenerys targaryen #jon snow #game of thrones spoilers #transphobia #orange is the new black #supernatural #fridging #homophobia #charlie bradbury #the breakfast club #grease #sexism

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rittz · 4 years

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thoughts about being trans, idk where else to put them so here u go

it’s not like i don’t have trans guy friends to talk to about this, it’s just usually in the form of jokes or passing comments rather than an actually serious conversation. also, the transmasc people that i’m closest to identify more with the label “nonbinary” than i do-- it’s not like they couldn’t understand or relate to things i’m saying, but i’m just assuming that they probably don’t feel the exact same way i do

anyway, as a trans person we get often asked “so why do you feel like a [gender]?”, and the answer is usually some variation of “i just feel like it”. this is the most accurate but also vaguest possible answer, so i kinda wanted to break down my personal answer to that question?

basically, i identify as a man because i identify with men. in a general and also personal sense. gender stereotypes are something that trans people by necessity both embrace and reject. i relate to gender stereotypes about men more than those of women-- i’m less outwardly emotional, i like being handy, i don’t like kids, i have questionable personal hygiene, etc-- but obviously these things alone don’t make someone a man. however... you can’t deny that there is some general truth about behavioral differences between men and women (bc of society, not biology). men and women both experience different problems in the world, and each have trouble understanding the experiences and problems of the other. generally, i can relate to the experiences and problems of men more than those of women, even if it seems like i shouldn’t (for example, i am not afraid of walking alone at night, even though i am very tiny).

i, from a young age, have had a constant yearning for more male friends. i would occasionally choose to play video games as a male character. i was upset that i couldn’t be in boy scouts. i have been jealous of my younger brothers being treated by my parents the ways i wished i was treated. when i imagined myself older, i pictured myself less like my mom and more like my dad. when i’m around men, i want them to treat me like one of them. i want to be seen as a man.

and i think that’s what being trans really boils down to. wanting to be seen as someone other than how everyone sees you. wanting what you see on the outside to match how you feel on the inside. this obviously extends to nonbinary individuals, who face their own struggle when it comes to presentation. but at the end of the day, i think that presentation is equally important to gender identity as internal feelings. i mean, i think we’re all familiar with the research proving that transitioning makes trans people happier. surgery is an invasive, expensive, painful process that i DON’T think is necessary for every trans person, and HRT isn’t always easy to get. but changing a name, getting a new haircut, dressing differently, binding, etc. counts as transitioning. you don’t have to hate your body to be trans, but wanting to alter it in order to better connect your internal identity with your presentation, i think is necessary in order to consider yourself to be trans.

i will admit i am confused by “GNC trans men” i see on tumblr and insta, who use he/him pronouns but exclusively present femininely. i’m not talking about trans guys who don’t yet pass, i mean trans guys who don’t want to. i don’t harbor any ill will, i’m just confused. if i understand being trans to mean “wanting what you see on the outside to match how you feel on the inside”, you can see how. doesn’t that make you feel dysphoric? don’t you want people who see you to read you as male? how is your life different from when you didn’t identify as male but presented the same way? this isn’t me trying to gatekeep on who’s “trans enough”, and especially when it comes to nonbinary identities it’s arbitrary to harp on presentation like this. but like, what’s going on here?

taking a turn here that will come back around, an extremely key component to why i identify as and with men is my sexuality. i have always idolized, envied, and evoked various queer icons from media and real life. the hunky, grunting, macho, hetero version of “man” never appealed to me the way that the fashionable, artsy, flirty, homo version of “man” did. drag queens, my mom’s hairdresser, glam rock stars, i could go on. associating my more feminine qualities with GAY stereotypes instead of FEMALE stereotypes suddenly made more sense, and made me feel less dysphoric. it’s also something that took me a long time to realize, because i had surrounded myself with queers who were mostly attracted to women. transmascs and butch lesbians historically have a lot in common, but personally, i didn’t relate as much to lesbians as i did to drag queens. in dating and loving men, i developed my understanding of them. but my attraction to men was why it had taken me so long to realize i felt more like a man-- i thought i was just some weird straight girl.

now, am i calling these “GNC gay trans men” with long pink hair and poofy skirts and conventionally attractive bisexual boyfriends “weird straight girls”? ...well, not to their faces. but i have to admit that i’m thinking it. these people would never go to a predominantly-male gay bar, these people would never be harassed on the street. i’m not saying i know someone’s identity better than they do, but i don’t agree with the liberal utopian ideal of “let everyone do whatever they want as long as they aren’t hurting anyone” when taken to mean that we can’t question other people’s choices. “why do you feel like a man?” is a question that, coming from another trans person, isn’t inherently transphobic. it’s not “forcing” someone to “prove” their “transness”, no one “owes” me an explanation of their identity. i’m just confused. i don’t disapprove of the way these people live their lives, i just want to know why.

a straight girl being feminine is different from a gay man being feminine, because it has less to do with personality and more to do with society’s historic view of gay men as closer to female than male because of the loving and fucking men aspect. an AMAB gay man wearing makeup and a crop top probably just wants to look good, but he is also signaling to other men that he’s gay via gender non-conformance. by being AFAB and female-passing, wearing makeup and a crop top is not GNC. in fact it’s pretty GC, and gay men will not recognize you as a gay man.

it’s easy to say “gender is fake so do whatever you want”, but like, we have to acknowledge reality. time is a social construct too, but we still use days of the week when talking to each other. strangers will treat you differently depending on what gender they interpret you as. different people will be willing to date you or not. you have to choose which public bathroom to go in. if being misgendered doesn’t bother these people, then who cares? but if it DOES, which it usually does, wouldn’t you want to take steps to prevent being misgendered in the future? if your desire to present femininely is stronger then your desire to be seen as male, then like... why call yourself a male at all? ultimately nothing these people do will really affect me in any way. it just makes me wonder if these people will eventually go on to present as male, or if they will later ID as nonbinary or even cis. i encourage people trying out different labels and exploring their identity, so it’s not like i think these people SHOULDN’T identify as trans guys. it’s more like, i wish they were able to articulate WHY they identify as trans more than “because i said so”. not wanting to be a woman doesn’t automatically make you a man, it just makes you not a woman.

maybe i’m particularly cynical because of the MULTIPLE times that people with larger online followings who identify and present this way have later turned out to be lying, manipulative people. hopefully it goes without saying that i do NOT think that everyone who identifies and presents this way is a toxic liar. the reason i bring it up is because some people genuinely can’t understand the possibility or purpose of misleadingly claiming a marginalized identity, but it can and does happen. an analogy could be made here about white people claiming indigenous heritage. we all WANT to believe what people say about themselves, and asking for “proof” is a social no-no. but we shouldn’t just... automatically trust everything someone says about themselves, right? and as bad as i WANT to live in a world where gender doesn’t matter and everyone default uses neutral pronouns and there are no divisions in clothing stores and bathrooms, we don’t live in that world (yet). when you are AFAB, /extremely/ femininely presenting, and have little to no plans of transitioning, saying “i am a man” will not make other people see you as one. and if you don’t want to be seen as a man, then maybe you aren’t one.

#lgbt #ftm #long...

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thenightling · 5 years

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LGBT+ Neil Gaiman characters

All right. Let’s begin. This is a long list so I’m bound to accidentally leave a few out. Feel free to correct me if you think of one or two I may have forgotten to list.

April Spink and Miriam Forcible from Coraline (couple.)

Angela (Lesbian).

The character Neil Gaiman created for Spawn is Angela. Angela is now owned by Marvel. Angela is a lesbian in a loving relationship with a transwoman named Sera.

Salim and The Jinn from American Gods (Couple).

This relationship got nominated for a GLAAD award.

Sam Black Crow in American Gods (Bisexual)

Snow White (Lesbian) Snow White (Yes, the fairy tale character) is the lesbian protagonist of The Sleeper and the Spindle, which is a sort of crossover fanfiction of Snow White and Sleeping Beauty that Neil Gaiman wrote as a short story.

Captain Shakespeare in the film adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s Stardust (Gender nonconforming.)

His sexual preference is ambiguous but he loves feminine, soft, and pink things including womens clothing, hairdressing, and theatre. He also leads a band of cutthroat pirates who follow him loyally so there is that.

Loki (Loki)

There’s Loki in Neil’s book on Norse Mythology. Loki also appears in American Gods and The Sandman.

There’s also quite a few LGBT+ characters in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, which include (but are not necessarily limited to):

Paul and Alexander Burgess (male couple).

It should be noted that Alexander and Paul were clearly in an open relationship (Polyamorous?) in the 1960s (With Alexander Burgess likely being panasexual) and they are now exclusive to each other by the end of Sandman: The Wake.

Judy (lesbian).

Judy was, unfortunately, phyiscally violent with Donna and it cost her the relationship. Judy died along with several other character at a diner when John Dee (Doctor Destiny) got a hold of Morpheus’ dream stone.

Donna AKA Foxglove (lesbian).

Donna is Judy’s ex-girlfriend but she ultimately found happiness with Hazel.

Hazel (lesbian).

Hazel had a one night stand with a man that resulted in pregnancy. She did not really enjoy it and now she and Donna (Foxglove) raise the baby together after having overcome many relationship issues. The baby was named after Wanda (the transwoman character). Since the baby was a boy they named him with Wanda’s deadname to remember her (Personally I think Wanda should have just been his middle name. Wanda hated the name Alvin). It should be noted that Donna and Hazel’s love story (which starts in Sandman: A Game of you) got a spin-off comic called Death: The Time of your Life and that comic won a GLAAD award for representation in the mid-90s.

Cluracan (Bisexual. Possibly panasexual by modern standards.),

Wanda (Transwoman).

Desire (Genderfluid and panasexual). Desire is the living embodiment of desires, good and bad desires. One moment they might want your death, the next they’re helping save the universe. Desire can be male, female, both, or neither at will.

The Corinthian (gay),

John Constantine (Bisexual.) Though not originally created by Neil Gaiman he was written by Neil Gaiman in a few stories. Including his appearance in Sandman.

Lucifer Morningstar. (Complicated.) Lucifer Morningstar (like all of Neil Gaiman’s angels) is depicted as having no true biological gender in both The Sandman comics and in Lucifer’s own solo comics. Lucifer presents as male and uses male pronouns. He self-identifies as male but many other angels don’t really consider themselves as male or female despite how they present themselves.

In the TV adaptation of Lucifer he is portrayed as having male and female lovers. It should also be noted that in the comics Lucifer was physically modeled after biseuxal rock star, David Bowie.

Mazikeen (Female identifying. Bisexual) Mazikeen is a female-identifying demon portrayed as bisexual in both the TV show Lucifer and in Lucifer’s spin-off comics. In Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman she was Lucifer’s lover.

Eve (Bisexual)

Eve appeared in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman and in Lucifer as well as American Gods. In the Lucifer TV series she is portrayed as bisexual.

Note: Eve can change her age and appearance at will. Sometimes she’s young, sometimes she’s old. Sometimes she’s middle aged. And though she’s often appeared as white (such as in Sandman), she is black in the newer Sandman Universe comics, and in Good Omens.

Various angels. (Diverse)

This one is a little complex. Many of Neil Gaiman depictions of Angels do not actually identify as male or female though many of them present as male.

Anatomically they are without gender unless they will it to be otherwise. Many of them have taken male and female Earthly lovers. You can see Lucifer depicted without physical gender in Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, and other angels depicted similarly in the Lucifer solo comics that spin-off from Sandman.

Pollution from Good Omens (Non-Binary)

Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens (Couple. Demi panromantic celestial?)

Neil Gaiman does not personally view Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens as gay because they only present as male but aren’t truly male or female by nature. He has also said he does not view a male and female presenting angel couple as straight either for the same reason. He has said “I never said they are not queer.” just that he wouldn’t use the word gay for them.

I know that’s not all of them but there you go. A list of LGBT+ characters created by Neil Gaiman.

And before I get a stupid hate-DM about how Wanda is “transmisogynist” because you read a Mary Sue article by someone who doesn’t understand context, understand this. There was no Trans representation when Wanda was created. She can’t follow a stereotype. The stereotype didn’t exist yet. She had not medically transitioned and ask yourself if you find her problematic just because she isn’t the conventional idea of feminine in her bone structure and height (Something even cis women have to struggle with). Yes, Wanda died but it was to show the cishet readers of 1992 that her soul was always that of a woman. There are still people today (even some Trans people) who don’t think you really count unless you fully medically transition. Wanda was scared of surgery but that shouldn’t matter. She was always a woman and that was the point Neil was trying to make.

Yes, Wanda’s family was transphobic. They were supposed to be seen as transphobic. Also Thessaly AKA Larissa and George are NOT supposed to be seen as good people. They are supposed to be seen as Transphobic. Thessaly is a pretty horrible person in The Sandman comics. She’s selfish and kind of homicidal. She represents the cold, self-absorbed immortal Morpheus used to be like. And before you try to argue “Just because Transphobia is real doesn’t mean Neil has to depict it!” (and yes, I’ve been given that argument while defending Neil Gaiman) ... Before you argue that, I want you to know something.

A Transman friend of mine was deeply moved by Wanda’s story because he went through similar. His parents still deadname him and misgender him on birthday and holiday cards and gifts. They never disowned him but they want to pressure him to “realize” he’s a woman. When he saw that Wanda went through similar, especially at her own funeral, he no longer felt so alone. Wanda may well have saved his life. So yes, I will defend that “problematic” character who died nobility and who was used in the early 90s to teach cishet readers that Transwoman (medically transitioned or not) are still women. Also, Neil is NOT accountable for how the story was drawn. He’s not the illustrator. So stop using the artwork to claim he’s homophobic. A comic book writer essentially writes a script and then it is up to the illustrator to draw it as best they can. By the way, the illustrator of Sandman: A Game of You (Where Wanda came from) was Colleen Doran, who was nominated for a Gaytastic Spectrum award in 2001.

Stop looking for reasons to hate one of the only men who has been trying to give the LGBT+ community representation since the 1980s.

#Neil Gaiman #LGBT+ characters #Gay characters #Gay representation #The Sandman #Lucifer Morningstar #Good Omens #American Gods

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canon-notcanon-warriorcats · 4 years

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Im gonna come to you for this because you're honestly like an idol to me (Im sure you hate to hear that lmao) and I feel like you would understand. You're non-binary right? I can't remember if you spoke about it but you use "they/them" pronouns and Im gonna assume that for the sake of the question. Either way! I've been questioning identifying as something other than cis-gendered. How did you know? And have you told people? What's the difference between relating to and empathizing with a problem

oh my god klsnalksm;lakdns;am i’m so honored thank you, but really i’m no one to idolize i’m an unemployed adult who is stuck in life who makes jokes and shit posts about fictional cats but thank you sidjk;lsz;

sorry this took so long to answer i was too tired and i wanted to think on it for a while so i can answer everything well and be at least hopefully a little organized and my answers/explanations to be legible

also this is getting long so i’m putting the rest of this under the cut wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

Yes! I am (at least partially) non-binary, I’m genderfluid and for me in particular I’m a girl sometimes, both a boy and a girl mixed together, and something in between all at once and at different times depending on who knows what, i’m like when you put soda in a cup and then put all of the different fountain drinks in at varying amounts and you do that each time you go to the restaurant but with different amounts of each soda, but like it’s USUALLY a pepsi base

anyway, it took me a long time to know, or i guess realize that i wasn’t cis because i guess i didn’t know i could? but in hindsight there were a LOT of signs and starting when i was 17 i think i started dipping my toes in different gender identities after i found out about the term “demigirl” and that’s what i kind of stuck with for a while

and then i questioned myself like am i really trans? i’m afab and identify as a demigirl does that really count (yes it does) but anyway after i went to college i was like no i think it’s just because several of my friends were questioning their gender, i’m a girl, and it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i finally FULLY realized “no, my gender is fluid, and i am a girl PLUS somethings between boy and girl and sometimes they all mixed together, sometimes all at once, sometimes individually (though very rarely FULL boy)

some things that i recognize in hindsight were signs (or were just weird foreshadows/coincidences of me being a mix of genders and it’s amusing now) include:

-when i was like 7 or 8 or 9 or something i made an image of what i’d look like as an adult in my head (or just older since in my fantasy i was 13 years old because that was obviously old enough to be a billionaire and own a castle and adopt children and a million animals and be a pokemon master, but i thought of an adult body) and my face was pretty feminine but my body shape was very masculine, flat chest, rectangular body shape, wore men-styled-ish jeans, and thickish arms

-in 7th grade for “some reason” i spent several moments thinking about what would happen if one day i came in as a boy named michael (since that’s kInD oF the “male” or “masculine” version of my name) and if like they’d recognize me or if they’d change my name on the registration or if anyone’d get confused or anything, this was also the year i found out that sex changes were a thing, i think, either 7th grade or 6th grade

-and the big one(s) for like my ENTIRE LIFE, even to this day, i would feel so confused if a girl talked to me like i was another one of the girls, specifically if they would like ask if their shirt tag was poking out and asking me to fix it, or ask if their bra strap could be seen through their shirt, asking me if their hair or clothes looked okay, asking to walk to the bathroom with them, GOING to the girls’ bathroom in general, chaning in the girls’ sometimes even being called a girl entirely, etc. made me feel

weird

like an “i’m not one of you” or “i’m not entirely like you” feeling and i thought that it was just because i’m awkward and shy and anxious that i went into the wrong room and then later oh i’m just gay and then to my realization: “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh that’s why” and “oh, i was anxious i went into the wrong bathroom/changing room, but i also felt like i shouldn’t be in that room anyway because i’m not just a girl or not entirely a girl”

i also have and had a lot of dreams where like i was either a guy, felt almost genderless entirely, or where i would for some reason go into male bathrooms/changing rooms even though i’m not a guy (entirely or mostly)

also i i realized my favorite shirts were the ones that made my boobs look smaller or less existent, my voice would confuse me, either it being too high or low and make me confused uncomfortable because it “didn’t fit” my gender, and sometimes being called a girl or someone saying i looked like a woman made and makes me uncomfortable, and i guess the most nsfw/graphic part of this is that sometimes i fantasize and/or wish i had like

a mix of genitalia and i wish i could change my breast size and upper body shape to be flatter/more rectangular, but it’s mostly the genitalia thing, the body shape changing parts don’t happen ALL the time and not as much, but still sometimes especially if i see someone’s more masculine body and i’m just like “wow i wish that were me”, though being overweight kind of helps in that because my body shape looks more neutral, if i was thin i might have more problems with that

also, especially lately for some reason i get very irritated or uncomfortable if certain people call me a girl or she/her, very certain people i’m okay with calling me a girl and she/her but to people i don’t know well or aren’t super close to i don’t want to be referred to as she/her i don’t want to be perceived as she/her i want to be referred to as they/them

a lot of people have much more intense feelings and it’s more obvious, but they can often times be a lot more subtle and it’s okay if you don’t have INTENSE feelings of dysphoria, there’s also gender euphoria, which i think i, personally, experience more than dysphoria

i like it when people act or refer to me gender neutrally, i like it when my chest looks flatter, i like it when people use they/them for me, i like it when i feel content about knowing that i’m not cis and that i’m a mix of genders, i like thinking of myself as a gender mutt/mix or whatever, it feels GOOD, euphoric

i guess it’s hard to tell if you’re empathizing or relating, and i can’t tell you which one it is since i don’t know the particulars and i don’t know you, but what i DO know, is like 99% of time, if someone has to ask themselves “am i cis?” or “am i straight?” the answer is “no” because cis or straight people almost never even think about it or question their identity and even if the answer DOES end up being “yes, i am cis” then that’s absolutely perfectly completely valid and fine, you figured out who you are and you were in a mindset and in a safe enough space that you could figure it out for yourself and find out more about yourself

and finally, as for the telling people thing, it depends on the situation, i don’t really talk about it in real life, none of my biological family knows because my parents have shown pretty transphobic and nbphobic tendencies and if i told my brother or his fiancee then they’d start treating it like it’s some special thing and basically do that straight people thing where they like overcompensate being happy for you or supporting you or where they start talking about their other friends who aren’t straight or aren’t cis and famous people or characters that aren’t cis or straight and like i can’t deal with that

all of my friends know though, and i’m open about online and i don’t have any significant other(s) to tell but if/when i get in a relationship and on dating apps i’m explicit that i’m non-binary and genderfluid and basically not cis and before i get in a relationship i plan on talking to them about it and being like “hey if you see me as a cis girl this will not work out” they’ll also have to respect my sexuality of course and see me AS bisexual and demiacearo, not straight if i’m dating a guy and not a lesbian if i’m dating a girl, never date someone who doesn’t respect your gender or identity or doesn’t see you as who you are, or won’t let you have some wiggle room to let you figure out who you are, so that’s an extra piece of advice there for ya

i hope that made enough sense! sorry this was long and i might have blabbered on, but i hope at least some of this helps!

#not warrior cats #Anonymous #gender #sexuality

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fandomshatelgbtqpeople · 5 years

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There’s a post that’s been bothering me for literally four years. It managed to somehow be both homophobic and transphobic and the (very popular) social justice blogger who made it never got any serious blowback. I’m going to post a screencap of it here, but I won’t say who it’s from because it was four years ago. What I will say is that as far as I know, they have never addressed it or apologized despite having been asked more than once, never did anything about all the people in the notes using it as a reason to be homophobic, and that they are still a pretty popular, well regarded blog.

This post was made in response to part of an old conversation that got dragged up. It was one of those things that’s like, maybe this was okay, maybe it wasn’t, depending on the context, which I’ve never been able to find. The person who originally pulled it up was a transphobe who was talking about “biological sex,” so I don’t trust their judgment or intentions, but a broken clock is right twice a day, so it’s possible that something actually homophobic was said. I haven’t posted it here because that would just be taking it out of context again and as OP has pointed out, that isn’t helpful. Here’s the part of their response that deals with monosexuals and making assumptions about people’s gender. The rest of the post talked about why taking the comment out of context didn’t accurately represent their feelings and how the conversation had also been about biphobia and bi erasure, and that’s all fine.

It starts out fine (making assumptions about someone’s gender and anatomy based on their appearance is cissexist and we should all try not to do it), but it turns into “and I don’t do that because I’m bisexual.” Which like, you’re a cis woman so yes you fucking do. I’m nonbinary and I still do it sometimes. And then there’s that line at the end about how gay and straight people’s orientations are based on assumptions about people’s gender and anatomy.

I’ll note that they were talking about monosexuals, which includes lesbians, gay men, and all straight people and was also read like it was directed at people who were doing it out of ignorance rather than malice, so this post was not specifically about terfs and isn’t really applicable to them at all because they know exactly what they’re doing. Terfs were also considered just as bad in 2015 as they are now, so if that comment had been about terfs, they could have said that and it would have gotten them off the hook with the people who were calling them out in good faith.

They then wrote out a longer explanation about what their current feelings were on the subject. This is broken up into two images just because it was too long to screencap at once. I haven’t removed anything. The first post and second reblog are the OP:

They later edited the post twice--once to specify that they were only talking about cis monosexuals and once to add “and sometimes also bi and pan people do this too,” which did little to address the fact that this post was literally claiming that being gay or straight was inherently problematic and that bi and pan people were automatically less transphobic by virtue of their sexual orientation and just ended up implying that it’s only okay to be gay if you’re trans (because I guess that means you’re woke enough to stop yourself from being attracted to people on sight?). Here’s

Four years ago, I wasn’t really able to articulate a response that cut to the root of why this post bothered me so much more than any other homophobic or transphobic bullshit and to navigate around the fact that there are parts of it that I genuinely agree with (most of the stuff about anatomy), but I’m older and more practiced now, so here we go.

This post is based on a number of incorrect assumptions:

That gay people can’t find someone they’re not attracted to aesthetically pleasing to look at

That gay people are, across the board, only attracted to certain genitalia and base their sexual orientations off that

That gay people’s thoughts immediately jump to sex the first time they’re attracted to someone

That the only way to be bi is to be attracted to every gender

That gay people base their assumptions about people’s gender on whether they’re attracted to them

That still being willing to have sex with someone after finding out you were wrong about their gender makes your assumption less transphobic

They were not willing to listen to any of the gay people in their notes trying to explain to them that this isn’t actually how being gay works at all or any of the bi, pan, or trans people who called them out for being way out of their lane. The only person they responded to at all was a trans lesbian who pointed out that they hadn’t ever specified that they were only talking about cis gay people (that person also pointed out several ways in which the post was homophobic, none of which were addressed beyond “that’s not what I meant”).

Basically, the thesis statement here is, “Gay people’s attraction is based solely around sex and genitals and none of them are attracted to trans people, but bi and pan people are attracted to everyone so we don’t make as many assumptions about people’s gender, and when we do it’s less problematic.” Which is obviously very false for multiple reasons.

I’m going to go through all of these assumptions and talk about the underlying thought processes underpinning them and how they’re even more insidious than they seem on the surface.

1. Gay people can’t find someone they’re not attracted to aesthetically pleasing to look at

This is actually one of the more benign assumptions and what it really comes down to is not understanding that thinking, “That person is hot” isn’t the same thing as thinking, “I would be interested in pursuing a sexual relationship with that person” (which also isn’t necessarily the same thing as thinking “I would be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with that person” but this post completely ignores that romance might be part of being gay--we’ll get to that later). It’s really just a fundamental misunderstanding about what sexual attraction is and how it works.

2. Gay people are, across the board, only attracted to certain genitalia

The obvious thought process underlying this attitude is that you have to be attracted to women in some capacity to want to date and trans man and vice versa for trans women. There are two possible assumptions that could be causing this. The first is that all gay people (and all straight people) are transphobic and only care about genitalia. The second is that a trans man who hasn’t had bottom surgery isn’t really enough of a man for someone who’s only attracted to men to want to have sex with him, and the same for trans women. You’re either being homophobic or transphobic here.

In fact, what it really reveals about OP is that, regardless of their self-righteousness on this topic, they are the one equating being attracted to women with being attracted to vaginas and being attracted to men with being attracted to penises. That’s not to say that there isn’t a transphobia problem in gay communities, but the implication here is that these are the objective definitions of being a lesbian and a gay man respectively. There are definitely cis lesbians who date trans women and cis gay men who date trans men.

OP assigned a transphobic, incorrect definition to gay people and then based a lot of their argument on that. We see this a lot in ace discourse (”it means not wanting to fuck”) and in bi vs pan discourse (”it excludes nonbinary people”). It would be a problem if it was true, but it’s not, and while there are people who ascribe to that definition, those people wrong. There are lots cissexist bi and pan people who equate gender and genitalia until told otherwise, and it’s not less transphobic when they do it. It’s a transphobia problem, not a being gay problem.

3. Gay people’s thoughts immediately jump to sex as soon as they’re attracted to someone

So this is just blatant sexualization of gay people, and it really explains a lot of about the first two assumptions. Being gay is all about sex, so if you’re gay, you can’t possibly think someone is hot without immediately thinking about what they look like naked and how you want to have sex with them. And of course because being gay is all about what kind of sex you want to have, your attraction must be defined by the genitalia of your partners.

It should go without saying that this is really homophobic. Even for gay aros, this isn’t how it works. I guess I can understand how if you’re equally attracted to everyone, you might not understand how gender plays a roll in attraction outside of thinking about sex, but it does, and that you don’t get it doesn’t excuse this. It just means you shouldn’t have been talking about it.

4. The only way to be bi is to be attracted to every gender

There are a couple of assumptions that could be underlying this. The possibility that’s most charitable to OP is that they are attracted to every gender and assume that that’s the only way to be bi. This is the only option that avoids exorsexism, but it is biphobic.

The second possibility is an assumption that nonbinary people don’t exist. Therefore, the only way to be bi is to be attracted to both men and women. This is extremely exorsexist for obvious reasons.

The third is a little more complicated, but it’s basically an assumption that being attracted to nonbinary people doesn’t, on it’s own, make someone bi. So, a person acknowledges that nonbinary people exist but basically thinks that either, because nonbinary people span so many identities, it’s impossible to be attracted to them if you’re not attracted to everyone. So a bi woman who’s attracted to nonbinary people and women shouldn’t exist because some nonbinary people identify so close to being a man that you couldn’t be attracted to them if you weren’t attracted to men. This is where the fetishization argument that a lot of exlusionists use comes from (I’m not saying that OP is an exclusionist, this is just the underlying ideology they use), and it ignore the fact that identifying as being attracted to women and nonbinary people doesn’t mean you’re attracted to ALL women and nonbinary people. It just means you can be attracted to women and nonbinary people.

Another possible mindset underlying that assumption is that if you aren’t attracted to everyone, the nonbinary people you’re attracted to must be so close as to be indistinguishable from whatever binary gender you’re attracted to, and therefore don’t count as being a different gender. That mindset stems from not thinking aboit nonbinary genders as being as legitimate or meaningful as binary genders and from seeing nonbinary people as basically whatever binary gender you think they’re closest to (”If you’re a bi woman who is attracted to men and nonbinary people, you’re really straight because your nonbinary partner looks like/acts like/is basically a man”). This is again exorsexist for reasons that should be obvious.

5. Gay people base their assumptions about people’s gender on whether they’re attracted to them

This is the assumption that gay people go:

I’m attracted to this person -> They must be a man/woman

rather than

I think this person is a man/woman -> I’m attracted to them

This frames gay people’s attraction as the reason the assumption about someone else’s gender is being made, and not the fact that we were all raised in a cissexist society. It’s also lets cis bi and pan people completely off the hook cissexism. If gay people’s assumptions about other people’s gender is caused by or is somehow made worse being attracted to them, then bi and pan people should be basically immune because they’re attracted to everyone (according to OP).

The mindset underlying this assumption is that there are people that you are innately attracted to and gay people are just attempting to shape their sexual orientation around their best guess at who those people are. Therefore, everyone is... I don’t know, varying degrees of bi I guess?... and gay people (and straight people) are just the transphobes who assume they know what everyone’s gender is, while bi and pan people are enlightened enough to realize they don’t. OP claimed in the notes that they weren’t saying monosexual orientations don’t exist, but if the point your making is that monosexual orientations are based solely around an assumption that’s probably wrong, then that is what you’re saying. And they definitely didn’t correct the first reblogger, who was unequivocally saying that.

It completely ignores the probability that a person’s attraction would disappear after finding out the person’s gender was actually not compatible with their sexual orientation, or the possibility that a gay person might know someone at least well enough to have some idea of what their gender is before becoming sexual attracted to them (because, as we’ve covered, just thinking someone is hot isn’t the same as attraction, and many gay people aren’t fantasizing about sex with complete strangers). Unless we’re talking about a closeted trans person, you usually don’t have to know someone that well to know what their gender is.

Shocker: most assumptions about people’s gender are made because they “look like” one of the binary genders, have certain secondary sex characteristics, have a traditionally masculine or feminine name, use he/him or she/her pronouns, or have a certain gender marker on their driver’s license. These are all things that bi and pan people are equally susceptible to.

6. Still being willing to have sex with someone after finding out you were wrong about their gender makes your assumption less transphobic

It super doesn’t. You still made the assumption. Framing it this way implies that transphobia is all about whether you would be willing to have sex with a trans person. I shouldn’t need to explain why that’s bad.

In conclusion

I want to mention that OP clarified that they weren’t try to say that everyone is bi in a reblog, but if that’s genuinely true then... I honestly don’t know how this post made sense to them. The point is either “people only think they’re gay or straight because they’re making assumptions about other people’s genders” OR “gay people want to have sex with strangers and that’s problematic (but it’s fine if a bi or pan person does it).” Which is a great example of someone setting a standard that requires huge changes from others but none from them and then getting self-righteous because other people don’t meet it (surprise surprise, the post I was referencing when I brought this up yesterday was from the same OP).

Anyway, regardless of which is true, it’s wrong. This post is homophobic, transphobic, and also erases a lot of bi experiences, and I still can’t believe that so many people just let this go unchecked when it happened.

mod k

Note: I better not catch a single one of you using this post as an excuse to be biphobic.

#modk #homophobia #transphobia #exorsexism #genital mention #long post

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wedontcareaboutyourbinary · 6 years

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Replying this way because it’s the easiest way to handle multi-section asks on mobile. This is gonna be long. So, firstly, I want to say that I really seriously appreciate you doing the work to learn and evolve. The fact that you’re even willing to reconsider your identity when you think it may be transphobic is significant. So, kudos, but like. I’m going to say something you don’t want to hear. Here’s my thesis statement: If you are seriously totally unable to overcome your cis fixation with genitalia as the be-all-end-all insurmountable centerpoint of your love life... you need to just leave trans and NB people alone. Don’t try to date us. Don’t try to fuck us. If you’ve done your research then by now you know the general stance on being reduced to our genitals — for the record, it’s still transphobic even when we have the genitals you like — and if you can’t get over it, it’s fine, but just date cis people. Seriously. You’re currently talking to someone who was harassed and berated to the point of a sobbing, locked-in-the-bathroom breakdown by a TERF lesbian *begging* me to tell her what kind of conversion therapy she needed to try to make her want dick. So, so many trans and NB folk have stories like this. We fucking get it, you know? Your desire for companionship revolves entirely around how repulsive or how delicious you find our bodies. Bodies that, half the time, we don’t even want. Bodies we may also find repulsive or struggle to love. But hey, as long as we got that vag you like and not that dick you hate, right? And the most tiring aspect of it all is how constantly we are asked for reassurance that that’s okay. How we have to explain over and over that no, you’re not an ~evil cis gay~ for your preference, we have to reassure you that it’s valid, that you’re not transphobic, lest we become the Evil Trans Rapists. And I have been accused of that. TERFS loooove to call us rapists and rape apologists unless we validate their genital obsessions. So consider that experience when asking another trans person to validate yours. And something I’ve never seen talked about is how genital preference can be socially exacerbated. It makes perfect and total sense that lesbians have to develop and assert a particularly strong aversion to men as a defense mechanism. And I understand why thats build foundationally into the culture of lesbianism. But have you ever considered that that, coupled with the transphobic association of men with penises, has played any role at all in shaping your total inability to see penises as approachable in a sexual context? I’m not trying to tell you that you should just make yourself like penis (I have to assure you of this so that you don’t accuse me, or more importantly, trans women, of being a rapist) but that maybe you should make sure that there is no prejudice in your preference. The fact that so many cis lesbians think that lesbianism is about sex — both sex as in the possession of a vagina and sex as in the ability to have vagina/vagina sexual intercourse — rather than about relationships between women, is a problem. It’s a transphobic problem endemic to the aspects of lesbianism that have been poisoned by radfems. And I’m not gonna validate that for you, sorry. If you think you may be bisexual because “relationships between women” isn’t the most significant factor in your orientation and that you could have relationships with NBs too, then yeah, that’s valid. But if you think it’s because it’s the best way to acknowledge that genitalia are the most significant factor in your orientation, then I don’t know what to tell you, and you need to leave trans and NB people alone, for our sake. Dividing NBs between Vagina NBs and Penis NBs is a pretty fucking fucked up and NB-antagonist thing to do. NBs and trans folk all deserve partners whose interest in us isn’t *hinged* on the ability of our genitals, specifically, to sexually arouse you. Long story short: Go ahead, stick to vagina. That’s totally okay. But you can’t keep asking trans people to assure you that it’s okay that you find our bodies totally undesirable, or desirable only because of that one factor. You just need to stick to cis vagina so you don’t hurt anybody. — Mod Lune

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hazel2468 · 6 years

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Okay, I know that I’ve addressed this before, But I’ve seen some shit being said and I think that I need to say this again. Asexual people, aromantic people, bisexual people, pansexual people, and polysexual people DO NOT HAVE STRAIGHT PRIVILEGE. I see it so often- someone saying “Well, you have straight privilege” to someone who is ace, or someone who is bi/pan/poly. “You can pass as straight/ you are straight!” I’ve gotten this myself, quite a bit. “Well, your partner is trans, so you’re really straight” or “Your partner presents as male, so you’re accessing straight privilege!” and like okay, first of all, she’s my girlfriend, no matter how she presents she is a girl and we are not straight. Second of all, I do not have access to straight privilege. And it really fucking bugs me when I see, say, lesbians or gay ppl telling ace or bi (or any non-monosexual person, really) that they have access to straight privilege because they do not get to define that. The only people who can decide who is part of the group that accesses straight privilege is, you guessed it, straight folks. And for the purpose of this, I am going use “straight folks” to mean people who are heterosexual, cisgender, and not ace/aro (if there is a term for that, please let me know, I used to use allo but someone told me not so so I am avoiding that). When an ace person reveals that they are ace- whether they are attracted to strictly the opposite gender, whether they are cis or not, straight folks are not going to see them as straight. They will see them as ace. When I, for example, out myself as queer/pansexual, EVEN IF I AM DATING A MAN, straight folks will not see me as straight. They see me as queer/pansexual. When my girlfriend tells people her name or outs herself as trans, even if she is presenting masculine, straight folks do not see her as straight (even if they go the transphobic route and see her as a man), they see her as trans and queer. When I see other members of the LGBTQ+ community assigning straight privilege to other people in the community, and especially to ace/aro people, it’s fucking awful. Because we, as queer people, do not get to decide who gets in with the straight folks or not. No matter how many times you tell an asexual person (again, even if they are in a relationship with someone who is the opposite gender) that they have straight privilege, that will not make the straight folks actually give them access to it. And when people tell me “Yeah, well, you can pass as straight!” my response is “Well, so can you.” Because if you hide who you are, if you hide who your partner is, if you never reveal that part of yourself, you can also pass as straight. And that isn’t the life that we as queer people want for ourselves- it’s been made pretty clear to me that no one should ever have to live in a closet. And yet every time someone tells me, or my girlfriend, or an ace/aro person, or a NB person, or a genderqueer person, or a bi person, that they “can pass as straight if you want”, you are insinuating that closeting ourselves is somehow an acceptable option for us. Now, of COURSE if you are not safe being out, don’t out yourself, and this goes for everyone, no matter your orientation or identity. And sure, there are days when I can walk down the street holding my girlfriend’s hand and no one looks twice. But that is coming at the cost of my girlfriend’s ability to express who she is. In conversations, I still have to sometimes censor myself, to call her by her deadname because some people don’t know and she doesn’t want them to, I need to make sure I don’t say girlfriend around people I am not out to yet. I worry about the current administration, about the hate crimes- I share a LOT of the same concerns and worries and anxieties as the rest of the community, as the very people who have told me that I have straight privilege and that I somehow don’t have to think about these things. But I do. And I suppose at the end of it all, the hardest part about that isn’t worrying about supporting my girlfriend and feeling anxious when she comes home late. It isn’t having to navigate the nuances of being a wlw in areas where that isn’t accepted. It isn’t having to deal with relatives and family members and unsupportive parents. It’s knowing that, for me and for a lot of other queer people (non-monosexual folks make up over 50% of the community), when we go to talk about these experiences with people who share them, with people who say that they understand, who know what it is like... We are met with “Well, you can pass as straight”. We are met with dismissal of our concerns. We are even met with outright hostility and exclusion. Sure, I could pass as straight. I could lie. I could call my girlfriend my boyfriend. She could pass, too. Never dress or act or identify how she feels. Never be truly comfortable. Always cautious about names and pronouns and what we say around who. I could pass as straight, we could pass as straight like y’all always tell us that we are able to... But at what cost? For a group that has largely had to hide who they are, I would think that you would all know that the price is far too steep.

#personal #pan clan #queer #lil rant #this has been rlly bothering me #I heard it today #and that was kind of it

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eevachu · 7 years

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There once was a girl called kate/most think she’s very great/some people are wrong/They’ve been bad for very long/for their standards no person can abate

EDIT: The person who sent this came forward and clarified that this ask was meant to poke fun at anti-Kate trolls, not Kate fans. I misinterpreted it and flew wildly off the rails (as I am oft want to do lol). The person who sent this couldn’t have known the depths to which I have grieved over this issue as of late, so do not fault them for it. They wanted to send me a joke and I took it the wrong way (ah the similarities here to Kate’s comedy).

I appreciate someone trying to make me laugh. I don’t really appreciate further spreading this drama, but people are entitled to their opinions, so they are also entitled to the consequences of those opinions. I will say, however, I don’t really like comedy that punches down (accidentally or not), because I think many of the people, who, wrongfully justified and misinformed about her or not, are doing it out of a genuine desire to help trans people. I think the puritanical environment that spaces like tumblr create for this type of discussion creates a toxic mindset that looks ridiculous compared to a properly moderated formal debate environment.

I’m keeping the full version under the cut, because they are things that should be said and I am so very tired of seeing people drag her name through the mud based on hearsay. You may use the examples I’ve provided to draw your own conclusions on the matter, as I have drawn mine. I’ve included some footnotes and clarifications. Skip down to the bolded paragraph above the video to avoid the majority of my emotional outburst.

Thank you for sending needless and harmful negativity into my inbox, I really wish you had instead put your time towards a positive goal like volunteering at an animal shelter, working to raise awareness over the plight of indigenous people in Canada or even just telling someone their hair looks nice today. (The thank you was sarcastic, in case that wasn’t clear.) Or hey, maybe you could have just said, “I know you love Kate, but here’s some problematic things she’s done you should be aware of.” Not write a patronizing little ditty. Catch more flies with honey than with open condescension and all that?

Since you seem like one of those sick people that get off to seeing people feel bad and subscribe to tumblr’s toxic black and white morality and witch hunt culture, here is what you accomplished with this ask:

You’ve made me upset, and I’m sure that was your goal. Congrats. I am an adult woman of 25 and I am crying now because of how upset this made me. This is nothing special, I am weepy person, so don’t pat yourself on the back. I tend to care too much and feel too freely; but anon, did you want me to cry? Because here you are. I am crying. Trembling a little too. You getting your rocks off to this? Happy to be of service then.

My being upset has triggered my anxiety over the issue of my admiration of Kate as an openly lesbian comedian versus the occasional problematic content of her comedy. I think about it a lot, because I am a critical person. The anxiety is going to affect me for several days. Right now I’m nauseous. I will now sleep poorly because of it. I will get less work done because of it. I will be in a foul mood for a week, which affects the people around me. I may self-medicate with alcohol or take what I like to call ��a gravol nap”. I will lose money because of lost productivity. So you’ve lost me money anon, I’m sure you enjoy that. What is it about suffering that gives you your jollies, anon?

I work freelance, and you’ve interrupted my work day, because I cannot let this stew, so I have to take time out of my day to write out my thoughts as a reply you probably won’t see and take other measures for my own well-being. This really isn’t for you anon, this has been stewing in me for months and this is the last straw.

So here under the cut are my full thoughts on Kate Mc /.Kinnon Berth/ old, they will be rambly as, hey look, I’m dissociating a little (how fun):

Did you know from 2007-2010* Kate played a problematic character called Fitzwillia m that portrayed a dmab character that wanted a vagina? I’m sure you did. Anon, have you actually watched the Fitzwillia m skits? Here’s a link to all of them:

vimeo

Watched them? Opinions? I want your real opinions on them, not just what the witch-hunters have told you to think. You’re probably a smart person, you can make up your own mind.

They’re in poor taste certainly, but a lot of comedy is. I think in the grand scheme of life, in the grand scheme of all human suffering and portrayals of queer characters, Fitzwillia m isn’t the worst. Certainly not great and certainly transmisogynistic, but like… watch a lot of TV from this time, this is practically progressive.

Is Kate maybe attached to this character because so many people loved them, approved of this character, and brought this character back for 3 seasons? That sometimes you do bad things because you don’t know they’re bad or that you do, but damn if you don’t need the money? That sometimes you’re ill-informed about something? That to create a character is to send part of yourself out into the world, and you always will love them even when you shouldn’t? That she hasn’t addressed it because to do so would be a PR nightmare for her publicist? That she likely doesn’t know this is even an issue because she’s not on social media? Probably. I’ve made some terrible characters, who did much worse things, who I am lucky to let die on paper stuffed in a folder where no one can see them. She was 22* when she made this character, in a completely different cultural climate than in 2017. Does it make it right that a whole team of people approved this character out into the world? Not to me. However, I don’t have the right to decide anything about the trans-related nature of Fitzwillia m as a cis person, but context is always important to me.When I was looking for a compilation video, I found trans people who genuinely enjoyed this character. I know I love some absolutely problematic gay characters.

Let’s put this into MY context anon, 2010 is when I met my first ever trans person. Ever. I was 18 and in college. I think it took me like… 2 years to figure out what trans actually was in a healthy way that wasn’t tainted by my culturally ingrained transphobia. I didn’t know dick all about social justice or politics or the queer community. I thought I was maybe bisexual. I thought I knew everything. By coincidence, I’m actually going through my blog today and clearing out posts from that time because they’re terrible, because I was terrible. I’ve changed so much from then, I don’t even recognize this person on this very blog. I’m not famous and those words are entirely mine, so I lose nothing by saying I’m wrong for what I said. Kate could lose jobs and colleagues and friends for addressing her past in a similar manner. She worked collaboratively on those works and people will take offence at her backtracking. It’s all very damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Is it right? Probably not, but it’s understandable. She works for Saturday Night Live, a place where they are constantly making things like:

youtube

That was made in 2015 and this is very mild. In 2015, I had a more senior coworker make a joke about how a couple we could see in the building across from us were “swapping their gay AIDs blood.” I think that’s a much worse “joke” than anything on SNL. I didn’t tell HR because I was afraid to lose my job, as shitty as it was. She wasn’t exactly in a position of power when these things were made, and she isn’t really in a place to speak out against them now. She’s just now hitting her stride. If I can’t stand up in my own workplace, I can’t fault her for not standing up in hers.

Did she joke about never seeing a penis in an interview? Yes. Did I make the same type of jokes until someone came along to tell me what was wrong with it in a nice way? YEP.**

Does she even know it’s an issue is another thing. She doesn’t use social media, certainly not tumblr. I learned basically all I know about the queer community from tumblr. I have no idea where I’d be without it; probably still making transphobic gold star lesbian jokes.

Anon, I’ve read her receipts. I always do. I know what I’m doing by supporting her is a bit problematic, but so are most of the things I do in my life. I eat meat from factory farms. I have a pedigree dog. I live on unceded First Nation’s land. I benefit from systematic racism. I don’t know what the hell my mutual funds are actually invested in. I’ve made rape jokes and said r*tarded. I was a schoolyard bully redirecting my anger onto other because of my home life. I’ve ruined people’s lives by things I’ve said. I have been a truly godawful person.

Here’s why I still love Kate, if always cautiously and never uncritically: from 2014-2015, I had a mental breakdown, until 2016 I lived in this sort of haze. I remember wanting to die a lot. I remember staring at the subway tracks and thinking, “what if I just jumped?” Do you know what that’s like anon? To constantly want to die? To be in a dead end job, to feel like you’re absolutely worthless? To have a pet die and just think “I deserve this suffering, I’m a failure”?

And then I saw her as Jillian Holtzmann and just… something changed. Something truly changed in my life. She helped me figure out I was a lesbian. She helped me see that out lesbian women could succeed. She got me through that 2016 election where I lost all hope again.

Did she actually do anything? I mean, not really. But she represented something to me and to watch people tear her down is to watch a part of myself be torn down with her.

Why do I still love Kate, even if only as an idea, not an actual person? Because her saving my life outweighs the blights in her career. Because I give people the benefit of the doubt that they don’t mean harm, because they aren’t aware of the underlying social issues they are dealing with. Because I do not minimize the harmful way that ra// dical fe /.minists are recruiting young lesbians into the T /.ERF community by calling anyone who creates transphobic/transmisogynistic content TE /.RFs. Because I do not idolize, I admire. Because her job is to make people laugh and I truly don’t think she wants to hurt anyone by doing so. Because people are complicated and good intentioned people can do bad things. Because I want to believe she’s a good person under everything.

Because I am willing to forgive other people for things I have done myself if they seem the sort to be open to learning.

If all else is still unforgivable to you anon, I leave you with this: there’s a part in the movie Julie & Julia, where the main character Julie finds out that the Julia Child, this woman she has idolized and who’s cookbook inspired her to change her life, doesn’t like her work. She is devastated. And her husband says that there’s two Julia’s: the real one, and the one in Julie’s head, who she sees as her savior. The Julia Child in her head is the one that really matters.

Let me have the Kate in my head.

In conclusion: anon, I wish you all the best, just very very far away from me.

Notes:

* I was wrong about the original dates that this aired, BGSS aired from 2007-2010, not 2008-2010, which means season 1 was likely shot in 2006 with Kate was 22-23 when she created Fitzwilli am. I was pretty stupid at 22.

** I am actually really angry about being misled by this quote, because I had never watched the full interview, which you can see here:

youtube

The interview was filmed in 2007, 10 years ago when Kate was 23, she’s 33 now. 10 YEARS. I know I don’t want to be compared to 15 year old me, or really even 23 year old me. Like I really don’t want to be out here “making excuses” but you have to think critically about the context of the things she’s said and how blowing them out of proportion is harmful to people who are actively trying to harm the trans community. Sure, she’s buying into the gold-star rhetoric for a laugh (because it’s a funny joke straight people in my life STILL make to me and so that’s what most young lesbians think is what you do), but she immediately says after “I don’t think [penises] are gross, I think they’re fun! Fun to play with.” That’s not a typical transmisogynist lesbian dialogue (they usually say penises are disgusting). Which yes, equates genitals with gender, but like… I remember in this time period of my life I was doing the same thing. Not out of malice, but because I didn’t know any trans/genderqueer/nonbinary people, I didn’t even know trans men were a thing! In the same interview she says she’s more 98.5% lesbian, it’s very clear that she’s not sure about these things.

You can tell this interview is more an open dialogue between friends trying to have an honest conversation about sexuality in a time that information about sexuality and gender was much harder to obtain. 2007 is long before it became standard for people to qualify that genitals didn’t equate gender. And it’s definitely still not comedy’s standard, and I get what it’s like to constantly be bombarded with cissexist rhetoric that sometimes you just give in to make it easy.

So in real conclusion: I personally think, from my standpoint as a cis lesbian of 25, that tumblr needs to forgive and needs to draw their own conclusions by watching these examples, not repeat this cycle of screaming examples at people without linking those examples. Let people draw their own conclusions and be open to being wrong about something. I was wrong about the entire catalyst for this post, and I am so deeply sorry about it, and will be more careful in the future.

And for the love of god tumblr, stop holding people to such high standards when you probably wouldn’t meet those standards yourself if you were in that same person’s position.

#prefer if you didn't reblog #don't @ me i'm done arguing this #i just really needed to get all this off my chest it's been festering #eevasks #anon #discourse #transphobia #transmisogyny #suicide #anxiety #depression #mental breakdown

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goth-unicorn-supreme · 5 years

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@feralradfem Since it won’t let me reply on your post, I figured I’d work around it because I think what you said to myself and to others is VERY important.

I will put this under a readmore, since it gets very lengthy.

@goth-unicorn-supreme Child, first of all, if you think an actual lesbian would slap me then you don't know a thing about lesbians. Second, I WAS one of those women. If you don't understand that nobody but NOBODY would have agreed with you in the 90s you're delusional about more than just gender.

Firstly, I am not a child. I’m not surprised you chose to start off with a condescending tone, especially after reading what you’ve wrote to everyone else. Your narcissism is actually incredible that you possibly think that EVERY lesbian is like you. I didn’t realize you thought lesbians were a hive mind. Kinda lesbophobic, describing a whole group in such a negative, disgusting light. But hey, I suppose people like you will take any light you can get. Secondly, I don’t believe you WERE one of those women. I believe this is just a bold faced lie so you can have the higher ground. Thirdly, I don’t need anyone to agree with me. I don’t need a crowd behind me to know what’s right and wrong. I certainly don’t need a rancid sack of shit to agree with me, either. Fourthly, I’m not delusional about gender at all. Are you a psychiatrist? A therapist? What are your qualification in making such a diagnoses? Oh, you don’t have any? So, you’re a terrible person making a terrible claim? Well, good thing the opinions of terrible people don’t actually matter, or else Trump would be totally right all the time.

@nerdylilpeebee the teenage "queer" girls in your high school are not lesbians. I absolutely promise you that. They are about as lesbian as Myley Cyrus the "queer" woman in a heterosexual marriage. Here's what you don't understand, human beings are just another kind of animal. We can chop our bits off, put makeup on our faces, but at the end of the day, we are just monkeys amusing ourselves. If you want to waste the short time you have on this Earth with navel-gazing narcissism, go ahead. Imagine that you are so important & so special that you need 49 different genders to describe yourself bc the world needs to understand you! Spend all your money on surgeries. You will live and die as a male or a female in every molecule of your body. Your DNA will never change. Your bones will never change. Why don't you folks stop obsessing over yourselves for awhile ffs.

I didn’t realize you were the lesbian gate keeping. You can even make promises! What an absolute inspiration, that everyone should strive for! Oh, what’s this? Are we now making fun of possible bisexuals, in a straight relationship? Wow, you’re knocking on sexuality, too! This TOTALLY makes you different from a homophobe, right? I mean, no upstanding member of this community could EVER be hateful towards someone based on their gender and their sexuality, right? I find it funny that you can sit there and accuse someone of narcissism... just because their gender does not match their sex. I don’t think you understand what the word means, I suggest you look it up. There is no obsessing, only confusion on how a person can be so terrible and disgusting as to use the AIDS epidemic for their own agenda.

@terf-tips you clearly were not an an adult in the 90s! It took Regan 5 years to even utter the word "AIDS." You see how helpy people are today. Well it wasn't fucking like that in the 90s. People were repulsed & afraid of gay men & they were dropping like flies. I didn't say we were the only ones helping but when even drs won't touch them it's a pretty big deal. They were very shitty to us (nothing's changed) & we owed them nothing. Kid, 99.99% of real lesbians are terfs. The rest are either very young or brain damaged. The vast majority of the world is a TERF. What do you think some farmer in China would think of trans? Lesbians are terfs, biology is a terf and the whole world is a big ol terf. You fucking delusional if you don't get that. What I LOVE about this terf stuff is how it's brought lesbians & other women together. So thank you for that. Keep tagging everything with terf. There are feminine boys & men in the world. There are masculine girls & women in the world. It's been that way since the beginning of time. Let people express themselves however they want without telling them they need hormones & surgery. Fucking clothes & color preference don't make you a member of the opposite sex! Gender dysphoria is a mental illness (it's in the name). If you have anorexia you are delusional about your weight & you don't need liposuction. If you have gender dysphoria, the answer is therapy not surgery or makeup. Right now the patients are running the asylum.

The lesbians that don’t agree with you are young or brain damaged... hmmm, sounds like more lesbophobia. Why is the opinion of a farmer in China relevant? Is he a doctor in disguise, like you are? No one is telling people to stop expressing themselves and get hormones and surgery instead, where does that ignorance even come from? That level of ignorance MUST be painful to deal with everyday. You wanna be a terf, go for it, that’s your belief and your opinion. It’s wrong, but it’s yours and it’s your right to have it. However, you do not have the right to gatekeep lesbians from being “real” lesbians just because they might not agree with you. Once again, sounds pretttttttty lesbophobic. And once more with the delusion claim, and once more without being licensed to make that claim. The more I see from you and the more I break down each sentence, the more I can’t help but compare you to Hilter and any other homophobe and other transphobe. Your entire existence is hate, your whole being just oozes it. Being a lesbian is not a choice, not a belief, and you don’t get to sit there and say otherwise.

And now finally, the cherry on top of this beautiful sundae ... “ It’s time to get the L out of that ridiculous pomo kinkster party called LGBTAQIA. “

YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT AND NO BETTER THAN THE L, THE B, THE T, OR ANYONE ELSE IN OUR COMMUNITY. YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE TO NOT BE A PART OF OUR COMMUNITY, EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE PROVEN THAT YOU DON’T EVEN DESERVE TO CALL YOURSELF A PART OF IT. YOU’RE A DISGRACE TO LESBIANS EVERYWHERE, AN INSULT AND A TRAGEDY. YOU DON’T GET TO HATE SOMEONE BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY ARE, YOU DON’T GET TO USE A TRAGEDY, CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN A PART OF THE WONDERFUL SQUAD OF WOMEN WHO WERE HEROES, AND THEN GET PISSY WHEN YOU’RE CALLED OUT ON IT.

#tw homophobia #tw lesbophobia #tw transphobia #tw AIDS epidemic #tw someone using a tragedy for their own shit show #also sorry to the two I tagged #I figured since I was using replies directed at you two that I should include you in what I responded with

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