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linka-from-captain-planet · 1 day

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Power ranking BG3 ladies based on how much I'd personally like to marry them

All main and supporting women: Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Karlach Minthara, Jaheira, Isobel, Aylin, Mizora, Orin

Plus my background babes: Florrick, Talli, Alfira, Lakrissa, Araj, Nocturne, Skoona, Adrielle, Z'rell, Roah, Nine-Fingers, and special guest star Philomeen

*Isobel and Aylin deserve to be regarded as individuals occasionally, so yes I'm wrecking that home (Alfira and Lakrissa too)

*essentially, top 10 is "women I would like to marry" and 11-21 and is "women I would not like to marry"

Quartermaster Talli. Granted she has an unfair advantage due to looking and vibing as a fusion of my IRL girlfriend and the butch lesbian who installed my new garage door 3 years ago whom I'm still mildly obsessed with. But anyway, we'd have a really great life together. We'd be able to communicate, we'd be compatible in the bedroom, we have similar values. Wife material, Grade A - the gold standard comparison for everyone else on the list.

Isobel. We'd have our tiffs (we can both be a little catty and sensitive), but overall we'd be a pretty stable match. We'd put in the work to make it last. I feel like being a cleric counts as a "job" so I appreciate that.

Nocturne. My #1 "I can fix her" pick because I think I actually can. I appreciate a hard worker, so Nocturne having distinguished herself in her uh workplace enough to become an officer is very respectable to me. We could go to therapy together. Not a perfect match, but I think we could make it work.

Lakrissa. Would be an easy second place if she didn't read so young. She's a little immature (a little over-dedicated, a little too self-sacrificing) and so she'd have to do some growing up, but I think we could make it work.

Florrick. Even though she's my #1 beloved and by FAR the sexiest person in the entire game and I would do anything to [redacted], we'd be like two brick walls getting married. We're too similar. But sheer affection and lust propel her to the top 5 anyway, even though we'd probably be married 10 sexless years before one of us finally snapped and filed for divorce.

Skoona. Assuming she drops the whole self-deprecating thing (can't stand that). She has a job, she's sensitive, she's romantic, she's humble, and she's hot. I don't think we'd knock each others' socks off, but we'd be a nice match.

Lae'zel. Extremely 22 years old and that's an issue for me. I'm also too sensitive to make it through her tough outer shell to get to the soft waifu meat inside. However, she does have amazing wife material to uncover, so I think if I could be her second wife, we'd be golden.

Adrielle. We'd have our problems as two neurotic faux-normies, but we're neurotic in different ways, so maybe we'd complete each other? She's very conscientious and thoughtful, though, which are the most important wife traits for me. With commitment and therapy, we'd make it work, but it wouldn't be the smoothest ride.

Jaheira. I don't really want to be a step parent to young kids, so that pulls her down the list a bit, but there's no way I couldn't have her in the top 10. We'd get along great; we have the same sense of humor; we're both not clingy. A good match, but not really the wife for me.

Minthara. I want her so bad but she'd eat me alive and not in the sexy way. I would let her walk all over me for 2-3 years though, assuming she didn't dump me first. Impossible to rank below the top 10, but objectively not the wife for me.

Shadowheart. Like Lae'zel, there's a lot to get through before you get to the wife material deep inside. I would also need to be her second wife. Also, I'm not doing that cottagecore shit and I cannot have that many animals in my house.

Araj. I know I called her bad in bed 2 different ways in two other posts but that's not a problem, she's so sexy and interesting to me that I know I would fall super hard for her. I too love science? We have something in common. I feel like she'd bring out a lot in me, not necessarily good things, but to be loved is to be changed? I would probably come to my senses before really risking it all though.

Alfira. I love her so much but I am no Lakrissa, I could not handle both supporting her while she pursues her artistic goals AND having to top every time. We'd be that miserable couple that lets it drag on forever because nothing is *wrong* even though nothing is *right* and wind up hating each other.

Nine-Fingers. She'd stress me out too much. Running the streets, making enemies... what if a shake-down goes wrong? Admittedly I'm tempted to live out my mafia wife fantasies with her, but realistically, I think I'd have too many nervous breakdowns to make it worth it.

Karlach. The divorce would be so epic that I almost wanted to rank her higher, but I just know deep down that we would trigger/frustrate the fuck out of each other and completely implode long before making it to the courthouse and/or altar.

Aylin. I routinely get over-stimulated by my cats brushing against my leg when I'm trying to multi-task working and listening to music, so there is no universe in which I could tolerate being married to Aylin. She's too exuberant and touchy. I would be scream-crying WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME every time she simply asked me how my day was in her usual volume. An absolute disaster, she'd smother me despite her best intentions.

Z'rell. She can have place #17 to match the 17 husbands which I would not be okay with. I'm not jealous, but I'm not THAT not jealous. She's also just really harsh and I'm a crier, so we probably would not be able to have a conversation, let alone a relationship.

Roah Moonglow. Like Nine-Fingers, but I feel like the Zhent is like, a second-rate criminal organization and so it'd be like being a second-rate mafia wife. All the stress, fewer fist-sized emerald necklaces.

Mizora. On top of everything else, she's also a corporate LAWYER... yuck

Philomeen. I would go on 1 date with Philomeen, let her start a blowup fight with me outside of [regional burrito chain], let her neg me into fucking anyway, go no contact, and let her booty call me 2 years later at 3AM like nothing happened, but I would not even slightly consider dating her, let alone marrying her.

Orin. Ignoring the whole serial killer thing that's neither here nor there, the problem is the combo of overbearing family (my #1 dealbreaker of all time) and lack of communication skills (my #2 dealbreaker of all time). Like I'd be constantly trying to get her to go no contact with Serevok and she'd never listen and she'd always be talking in fucking Dr Seuss riddles and disappearing and pissing me off.

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forestlyprince · 7 months

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Don't marry your high school sweet heart because it just opens you up for betrayal. For example, them never telling you that your favorite chef/baker from a youtube channel/magazine (who had rightfully quit that channel/work place due to being mistreated and racism) was now working for a NEW CHANNEL AND HAD BEEN FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG.

#theo talks #i'm filing for a divorce and we're not even married #sohla el waylly

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banamine-bananime · 14 days

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Church, without warning: I actually - I'm not going to lie to you. I think I might already be legally married. To Lavernius Tucker. Wash, who was just trying to have a silent morning coffee and was most certainly not prepared for this but feels that he's probably obligated to take this seriously: Is it... legally... recognized? Church: I think, well - Church: Church: It's by an ordained Minister. Cause Sarge is apparently, somehow, a registered, ordained Minister. Wash, clutching his coffee Very Tightly: Church: and the paperwork was all filed and shit Wash: Church: so am I Church: Am I, like already legally married? Church: Is this going to be an issue if I want to marry Tex in the Vegas Quadrant or something? Wash: Wash: When you get married AS A BIT - Wash, Very Deliberately Calming Down: Wash: you're not supposed to actually get married. What the hell were you thinking? Church: What? It was for a video. Wash, no longer very deliberately calming down: Yeah. But you still signed the paperwork. YOU GOT MARRIED.

Tucker: I got a call yesterday, he's like, 'my sister's seen the video, you know, you didn't invite her. Yeah, moment's gone, and you didn't invite her, and she's fallen out with me, Tucker. And now - now she's fallen out with you'. And I'm like OH. So I look and I'm in bad with the Church family. *giggling nervously* We will not be speaking to Carolina again. I have some apologies - I think I have made a severe and continuous lapse in - oh god. Oh shit.

_________

Church: Just sign it. Tucker: Why? Church: BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED TO BE LEGALLY MARRIED. THIS IS CRAZY. Tucker: It's funny Church: You're not even in my will. Tucker: Why? I'm your husband! Church: My will is 'fuck you all, everything goes to charity'. Tucker: Give it to the charity of me! Church: We're not married. We're not staying married. This is crazy. You're being crazy. Just sign the divorce papers. Tucker: Let's sort this once and for all. If Tex - if Tex - if Tex wants me to drop this, for us to split up, I can, alright? I can see - Church: Just sign it. Tucker: - 'Cause I care about her. Tucker: Right. Okay. I texted Tex - I texted Tex, and she just replied - Tucker: "Get it together, honey."

Tucker, coming out years in the future: I'm bicurious so I can say like 1/5th of it. How about that, you 'ggots? Wash, trying to figure out whether it's biphobic to murder him:

so. i'm not a mcyt fan but from accidentally coming across this very weird mcyt nightmare polycule i have been unable to stop myself from gawking at it like a train derailment and i do think this could be a very real chexer situation. if you are not familiar:

this post is made from actual words that have been said with a few minor alterations

#chexer #rvb #red vs blue #i'm sorry for this but i had a lot of fun #alexa send post

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hexpea · 2 months

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Ch. 2 - Expected

"It was arranged," Seiko's jaw nearly fell to the floor as you finished explaining the circumstances of your first marriage.

You nodded in confirmation. "Unfortunately," you sighed. "I certainly didn't ask for it. But at this point, it seems like I'm going to need to head back to Tokyo to get Gojo to sign the damn thing...again."

Your partner sat back in their seat in thought, waves of understanding flooding their mind. They felt bad for causing such a fuss about it earlier though it was entirely warranted.

"Y/N?" Their voice was soft, their hand reaching forward to touch yours that you had resting on your knee. "What if we made it a thing? We're due for a vacation. I'll come with and we'll enjoy the sights of Tokyo. The whole divorce thing can be just a small part of the trip, no need to over-worry ourselves. We'll get it taken care of."

You thought about it for a moment, searching your mind for any downsides. A few began to populate in your mind, but Seiko was quick to interrupt. "We're getting married this time. Let's take some time to celebrate ourselves, eh?"

"You just want to go to Tokyo, don't you?" You looked at him slyly, a crooked smile on your face. Seiko had be raving about it for the past few months; you had originally (and hesitantly) been planning to have your honeymoon there.

"I do," they admitted, their smile matching yours but their gaze looking away as if they had been 'caught.' They had rarely left the small town you lived in. Seeing Tokyo in real life sounded like a dream to them.

You took a deep breath and let out a sigh. "Alright," you agreed, "let's make it a thing."

The next thing you knew, you found yourself boarding a bullet train. It was a four and half hour ride to Tokyo from Hokkaido. Unfortunately for you, this meant you had plenty of time to ruminate on your past -- the whole reason for this visit.

The train itself had faded, patterned seats, well worn from years of use. The car was quiet as passengers filed on in order and silently began putting away their luggage. The air itself smelled stale, like any other form of public transport. It was the last place you thought you'd be at that moment.

"Here are our seats," Seiko smiled at you eagerly, tugging along a suitcase.

They stuffed their suitcase in the overhead bin and helped you in getting yours up there as well. With a wordless smile, they offered you the window seat to which you obliged.

"Besides settling into our hotel, what's the first thing you want to do when we get there?" Seiko asked as the two of you now sat in the faded, plush seats of the shinkansen.

You gave them a funny look. Seiko was never one to be overly eager about going anywhere let alone planning activities. "I don't know," you answered as if each word was its own sentence, a funny yet suspicious tone in your voice. "Do you have anything in mind?"

"Nothing in particular," they shrugged, causing you to furrow your brow even further. Why bring it up then?!

You shook your head and ignored your surroundings, opting to put some headphones in and stare out the window as Seiko began scrolling through their phone. Just as expected, with divorce on the brain, your mind went to that place and your heart already...ached.

The divorce was amicable. It was honestly something that had been a long time coming, almost expected, as Gojo found himself alone in his clan. He didn't seem remarkably upset about being the last of his name, his parents now both passed on -- mother preceding father. The lack of emotion had concerned you but you let it go.

Saying that your marriage didn't have love...that would be a lie and you knew it. The two of you had been childhood friends, closer than anyone could get without being family or, well, being in love. Admitting it was a different story.

Things between you two had begun to distance when Geto entered the picture as soon as you reached high school age. That, and Gojo had started taking on missions with Geto as well -- tough missions that you couldn't be a part of. You found yourself linking up with Shoko Ieiri who also mostly stayed behind, being helpful with her reversed cursed technique.

At the time, you were honestly happy about his absence. With adolescence, his personality had developed beyond repair of arrogant confidence to which he didn't hesitate to irritate you with to no end. He honestly irritated everybody one way or another, and took pleasure in it.

But there was unspoken love that grew during your time as husband and wife. The conflict had once pulled on the strings of your heart, telling you everything you needed to know of your feelings toward the Limitless sorcerer even as he asked for the divorce. But those feelings were a distant memory.

It was August, a warm, summer evening five years into your facade of a marriage. You found yourself enjoying the nightly air, the distant sound of fireworks from the summer festival humming through your ears.

You were dressed comfortably, getting ready for bed and having a cup of tea to relax. The stars were remarkably bright that night, twinkling in nearly every direction. It was in that moment you were thankful that the Gojo estate was just outside of Tokyo, no bright buildings to prevent such a beautiful sight.

Satoru had just returned from a mission, still dressed in his jujutsu uniform and dark blindfold covering his eyes. You heard him approach from the opening of the shoji screen behind you. You could hear his footsteps approach behind you as you looked up into the cosmos.

"Hey there," he purred, his voice dripping with a teasing tone as it always had as he joined you on the porch. He couldn't resist making light of the situation, even when his emotions were in a flood of conflict. You knew him well enough to expect his cocky demeanor.

You sat cross-legged while he let his legs dangle off the side, using his hands to prop himself up. He looked up with you as he greeted.

"Hi," you answered, your voice quiet after taking a sip from your tea. "How was the mission?" You asked while trying to maintain your composure in the face of his playful attitude.

"Mission? Oh, piece of cake," he said with a smug grin, leaning in closer to you. "But, you know, I'd much rather be dealing with you, Y/N. You're the real challenge." He winked, emphasizing the double meaning of his words.

There was a moment of awkward silence as he lingered longer than he usually would. He took a deep breath in preparation for his next words.

"Y/N..." you looked over at him, your wide, interested gaze causing him to rethink his decision for a split second. He tried to hide the smile that was growing from seeing your doe-eyed face. He decided he needed to hold firm; he had promised himself he'd stop postponing and tell you. "I think that we should...file for divorce."

There it was, the words you were, honestly, waiting to hear. The conflict brewing in your head made your chest hurt. The marriage was a sham. It was to produce an heir, something the two of you never did, for the Gojo clan who was now a team of one. You had to and did accept the fact that this marriage was holding both of you back.

Your silence was irking Satoru as you continued to sip from your tea. He fidgeted eagerly for your response. It was then that you realized he was waiting for something out of you.

"Okay," you responded calmly, holding back the emotions that were threatening to bust forth. "It's not like we love each other."

Satoru, though cocky and confident on the surface, felt a pang of turmoil deep within. He knew what he felt for you, even if he was hesitant to admit it to himself. The two of you were completely ignorant to one another and beyond saving. This time it was his silence that got you going. You could clearly see he was trying to read your plain expression.

"What? It doesn't have to be that sad," you added, trying to maintain some levity despite the heavy situation.

"What will you do?" Satoru asked you, his future path already decided and very clear.

You thought to yourself for a moment, ignoring the knot that had begun to form in your throat. "Hmm..." you hummed, tilting your head up and away from him to hide your dampened eyes. It was just now settling in that the arrangement was coming to a close. "I wonder what the beach looks like in the snow."

Satoru smiled at you, a mixture of relief and turmoil in his eyes, knowing that he had to let you go. "Ah, Hokkaido," he nodded. "Yeah, it's beautiful."

The two of you sat in continued silence for a few more moments. The booming of the fireworks had long stopped since his arrival. The complete silence a bit jarring from your conversation.

After a while, Satoru leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss to your cheek -- the only 'affection' the two of you allowed yourselves besides in public when necessary. The only time you had ever been intimate with him outside of the occasional kiss was your wedding night, never once doing it again.

Talk about mixed signals, you thought to yourself.

He came to a stand and you looked up at him with a gentle smile before he departed. "I'll be there, any time you need me. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," you nodded once, voice breaking slightly, causing your cheeks to turn red in the dark.

As Satoru left you alone on the porch, your emotions swirled like a turbulent sea. The tears that had begun as a mixture of sorrow and relief now took on a new dimension. There was a sense of betrayal that began to seep into your heart, though you couldn't quite pinpoint its source. You stared out into the night sky, the stars still shining brightly above. The sound of cicadas filled the air, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves of nearby trees. The beauty of the night was a stark contrast to the turmoil inside you.

The divorce had been inevitable, and you had known that a long time. Yet, hearing those words from Satoru still stung. It was a reminder of just how far the two of you had drifted apart over the years. As you continued to sit there, sipping your tea and gazing at the stars, you couldn't help but wonder what the future held for you. The prospect of being alone was both daunting and liberating. You had spent so long in a marriage of convenience and now you had the opportunity to rediscover yourself.

Your train pulled into Tokyo station in what felt like the blink of an eye. You were so lost in your thoughts that Seiko had to squeeze your hand to snap you out of your trance.

The bustling station presented a crowd of noise, announcements over the intercom for arrivals and departures, and the feeling of people rushing around you served as a reminder that you were back in the heart of the city where you had grown up.

"Wow," Seiko admired the large station as the two of you guided yourselves off of the train. "Are you ready for this?"

You nodded, your resolve firming up as the two of you began your walk out of the station. The memories of your past with Gojo had left a bitter taste in your mouth, but you were determined to close that chapter of your life for good. The strange sense of betrayal you had felt after that fateful conversation with Gojo had lingered, but it was time to move forward.

As you navigated your way through the station, you couldn't shake the anticipation of seeing your parents again. It had been far too long since you had been home and you knew that your reunion would be emotional. But duty called, and you had brought the divorce papers with you, determined to get Gojo's signature.

The Tokyo streets outside the station were familiar yet different, a testament to the passage of time. Seiko walked beside you, 'oooing' and 'ahhing' at all of the sights. Their presence provided you a bit of stability that grounded you in the present moment. As you hailed a taxi to take you to your hotel, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions -- fear, anticipation, and a newfound determination to finally put an end to the chapter of your life that had been marked by a love that had never fully bloomed.

#gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #satoru gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x you #satoru gojo x you #gojou satoru x you #satoru gojou x you #gojou satoru x reader #satoru gojou x reader #gojou satoru x y/n #satoru gojou x y/n #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #gojou satoru #satoru gojou

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konako · 11 months

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"Hey, Gina. Guess what?"

Regina didn't bother looking up from her tome, ignoring the flirtatious purrs from the she-wolf.

"Gina..."

She turned to the next page.

"Ginaaa..."

She sighed, looking up from the pages finally.

Ruby sat before her in a cheap costume, a cheap felted costume of--

"I'm a really hot dog, huh?"

The sorceress stared at her for a moment, expression set; the tome was dog-eared and slowly shut.

Ruby remained proud of herself and grinning.

"I'm filing for divorce."

"We're not even married yet!"

(yo, im back from dropping off the earth. hows it been lol?)

#ruby x regina #ruby lucas #regina mills #red queen #a lot of layers to that costume #CRUNCH MY DUDE were you abducted??!#are you okay? blink twice if yes

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edgelordfucker · 2 years

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Ok picture this reader climbing up onto Belos’ head like a raccoon

She has the strength and muscle to climb his height (I like to think that the reader is considerably short like 5’4 max) and Belos is able to sustain their weight on his head because he’s literally seven and a half feet tall WITHOUT his Emperor gear on with it on he is NINE FEET TALL so y/n is just like picking up a feather to him

CONSIDERABLY SHORT AT 5'4 MAX. ANON I AM HITTING YOU WITH A STICK. ANON. ANON HOW TALL ARE YOU. I'M 5'2 ((and a half)) AND NORMAL ABOUT IT (clearly) SO IF 5'4 IS THE CUT-OFF FOR "considerably short" WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME. ANON. COME OVER HERE ANON I JUST WANT TO TALK.

jfsdjkf sorry this isn't exactly what you asked for, but it's the first thing that came to mind that made me laugh! I hope you like it! 🖤🖤🖤 ((Quick set-dressing, I'm pretending that there's a big 'Coven Day Fun Day' before the parade, like a cross between a field day and a carnival, where all of the coven heads come, and they invite the brightest from their covens and their families, and some members of the public, so it's a whole big thing, and that's where the reader and Belos are.))

"Alright, so-" You put your hands on your waist, sizing up the tree and the black balloon tangled in its branches. "You can't reach it, and, I mean, I could-" Belos snorts. "Look, I'm sorry that you feel like you need to see my telescoping bones to believe that I have them, when it's super common knowledge that all humans just have telescoping bones." You glance at him, askance, and then add, with the utmost pity, "That's sad for you."

"I just find it interesting that this 'common knowledge' only came up last week," he replies, doing some consideration of both the tree and the balloon himself. "While you were losing at Witch Scrabble."

"Fuckin'- I have a pancreas." You bobble your head at him. "We've never talked about my pancreas, but I for sure have that. Do you doubt my-" you motion generally at the entirely wrong spot for a pancreas to be in you body. "-pancreasity since I didn't introduce myself like," you hold your hand out to him for a handshake, with overwrought enthusiasm, "Hi! My name is-" Suddenly, a loud bird cries out overhead, drowning you out for a split second, "-and I have telescoping bones and a pancreas!" You let your hand drop, shrugging sarcastically. "I'm sorry that I don't perform bones on command."

"That's not where the pancreas is."

"Oh, so you believe that I have a pancreas, and not telescoping bones? Sight unseen?" you shoot back.

"I know you have a pancreas," he starts, haughty, "because I have a pancreas, and humans and witches have the organ in a similar place." You splutter.

"Fuckin'- Okay, Diogenes, if you use yourself as a ruler to measure against every experience, does that make every plucked chicken a man? Just because you're seven and a half fucking feet tall, does that make me small? No! Because you're a big, big, man." The cadence of the last words makes him think you're referencing something, but it's beyond him.

"Plato." He slips it into your brief pause for breath.

"What?" This stops you in your tracks.

"Plato defined a man as a featherless biped. You would be Diogenes, if I'm following your argument."

"Why," you ask, cocking a hip, "do you know that?"

"Actually," he adds, in a bid to redirect your attention, "I would call you considerably short."

"I would call you a bigot, and divorced." A sensation of warmth settles over him. This is one of his favorite of your rhetorical devices, letting him know that you were married only when you playfully divorce him. Belos shifts his weight towards you, crowding further into his already intimate occupation of your space.

"We're not married," he says, softly. A strand of hair has worked itself loose in the wind, and he tucks it behind your ear, tracing the hollow of it with his fingertips.

"That makes it even easier to file the paperwork," you reply, just as gentle. As he pulls his hand back, you catch it to steal a quick kiss from his knuckles, looking straight into his eyes beyond the mask, before you let it fall into place at his side. His heart gives a hard thump.

"It just seems like," he says, trying to wrestle the conversation into his control, "it would be easier to use your. 'Telescoping bones'," his tone lends a dubious drip to the words, "instead of...," he gestures with a put-upon vagueness, "let's say, for example, sitting on the floor of the kitchen-"

"Stop," you cut in, with an affected flatness, already seeing what he's getting at.

"-crying." He pauses just long enough for it to poke at you, without you being able to talk over him. "Because you couldn't reach the top cabinet."

"I wasn't- I didn't cry, I just teared up a little bit-" He tilts his head.

"I distinctly remember tears."

"I was! Sweaty! From navigating your freakish counters-"

"Which would've been much easier to do with telescoping arms."

"Show me your pancreas." It takes Belos a split second to switch gears, and you pounce. "Show me. Pull it out. Show me your pancreas."

"My... pancreas? My pancreas that is inside of me?"

"You process sugar? You consume glucose? Lemme see it."

"What do you think a pancreas does?"

"You can't gaslight me about the pancreas - it's my best friend, and it has a tail."

"I thought that I was your best friend."

"Not right now!"

The breeze picks up, and your balloon shivers dangerously against the branches, the string slipping just a little looser. You gasp.

"No! My balloon!" Turning to him with a disproportionate determination than the situation warrants, you continue, "Look. We have something at stake here bigger than the telescoping bones that all humans have, and the fact that you're wrong to doubt me when I say that I have telescoping bones." Belos kisses his teeth. "We gotta get up there. And I think, with our powers combined-" You shake yourself. "Wait- You're fucking magic!"

"No, please," there is a wild glee in his voice, as he makes some assumptions, "I want to see where this is going."

"No! Do some magic, magic man. Why have we been standing here-"

"You've been very insistent about your pancreas, and I didn't want to interrupt. Only polite."

"Sh- stop. Balloon." You point at it. He looks to you, down the line of your arm, to the balloon, where it is nervously knocking against a particularly menacing branch, and then back to you.

"I'm terribly sorry, but, unfortunately, I don't perform on command."

"That's bullshit. If you're not gonna get it, I'm just going to use you as a step ladder," you threaten.

"That would make this years 'Coven Day Fun Day' very interesting, now wouldn't it?"

You glance over to the side, where there are several poorly concealed photographers, and one that is using an illusion to make it look like they're poorly concealed; Belos can see straight through it, and startles them by looking at them directly.

"Helluva photo-op," you say, doubtful. Oh. Oh, that would be good, wouldn't it? Well, maybe not you climbing him like a racoon - he shivers. Creepy little hands - but... Belos can see it in his minds eye. A glimpse of your romance, the imposing Emperor gallantly lifting his Lady, all for something so simple and frivolous? Tender, sweet, just a little silly and sentimental. Yes. Yes, he likes that.

And he really needs something other than the catastrophic failure of the 'Scary-Go-Round' that he's been trying to ensure that you don't notice to dominate the evening news.

You're standing more-or-less directly under the balloon, and Belos comes around to stand in front of you, casting a quick spell to muffle the click of the shutters, so that you won't get distracted when the cameras start flashing. You look up at him, head tilted.

"Hold on," he says, dipping down to grab your waist.

"To wh-huh?!" Belos picks you up easily, quickly switching his hold from your waist to brace his forearms under your bottom, supporting your weight, and letting you get your balance with your hands on his shoulders. "I'm not cleared for this airspace!" you squeak.

"I've got you," he soothes.

"Oh, wow," you say, adjusting remarkably quickly. You use one hand to shade your eyes as you twist slightly against him, getting a good view of the fairground a little ways away. "You can see so many things up here! Damn." You look to him again, giving him a big, beautiful smile. "Hi!"

"Hello," he returns, his own soft grin clear in his voice.

"This is neat. I normally only ever see you like this when we're horizontal," you remark.

"Are you going to get your balloon?" he gently reminds you.

"Oh! Right, yeah-" You reach above, easily catching the string. He tips his head back, watching as you carefully tie one end into a loop, making a quick slip knot, and secure it to your wrist. Then, you return your hand to his shoulder. "Our powers combined!" you exclaim, oh-so-pleased. You get so excited over the littlest things. It's wildly endearing.

Belos carefully starts to lower you as you each watch the other. Your eyes dip down to where his mouth is covered by the mask, and he pauses your descent when your faces are level on instinct. With a quiet laugh, you lean forward to kiss him. His lips tingle where they go untouched, and there are gasps from the photographers that make it past his spell. There's a soft noise as you break the kiss, and into a self-conscious smile as he lets you get your feet.

"C'mon," you say, taking him by the hand, "we're late for the Coven Head Bean-Bag race. My money's on Lilith."

"I don't know, I've heard that Adrian's been practicing," he replies, allowing himself to be lead.

#emperor belos x reader #belos x reader #toh x reader #the owl house x reader #whew lad #another quick one #replies #THE AUTHOR DOES NOT SHARE BELOS' OPINIONS ON RACOONS #my stuff

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deans-baby-momma · 7 months

Text

Law & Love Chapter 20

A/N: Well, guys.....looks like this is the end. NOT!! HAHA I know last time I said there was only one more chapter to this but my muse woke up and after talking over some ideas with my beta @kazsrm67, there are about 3-5 more chapters of this now.

THEN:

Beau gently lays it out for her. How Emily was invited back up to Montana to help with Sunny Day Excursions, how he wants to be honest and truthful with her.

"I've come to realize that I'm not happy here anymore, Car. I miss the mountains and the fresh air."

"You're going back for her, aren't you?" Carla says, sitting back in her chair, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

NOW:

"It's not like that," Beau objects as he stares at the woman in front of him. "I told you, Em got that letter and it just made me realize, I miss it up there."

"Beau, babe," Carla stands up and walks around the desk. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I've been selfish-" she begins. "-and weak."

Beau watches his ex-wife in perplexity. ‘What is she talking about?’ he thinks and opens his mouth to voice the words, but Carla holds up her hand, silencing him.

“Listen Beau, when I asked you to come back home-” she sighs before continuing. "-I wasn’t completely honest. After Avery’s death, I was afraid to be alone. I haven’t been alone since….well, ever. We got together in our freshman year of college, married a year after graduation; had Em and then after our divorce I met Avery and in a whirlwind got remarried. And then I found myself being a widow with an ex. So I took the coward’s way out. I asked you to try again.

“I knew you had moved on. I met Y/N, remember. Hell, yall were living together for fuck’s sake! I saw that and it reminded me of us when we first got together."

Beau sits there unmoving, flabbergasted over Carla's admission. He keeps his eyes on her as she begins pacing back and forth, between his spot and her desk.

"I realized that I was about to come back to Texas, alone, as a widow and I was scared. I haven't been a single woman since before college and I was terrified of what that meant."

Beau's heart breaks at her confession. It's true though. From the moment they met in the financial aid line their freshman year of college, he and Carla had been inseparable, spending every free minute with one another. It was love at first sight for both of them and even back then he thought he'd spend the rest of his life with her.

They'd graduated college and had both entered the workforce with promising careers before taking that next big step of getting married. The first few years were bliss and they felt indestructible. Even with the unexpected arrival of Emily, they were invincible but by the time Em turned 5, that armor had been chipped and by their daughter's tenth birthday, their relationship was nothing but a shell.

And then Beau received the final blow when he was served with divorce papers; Carla had filed for divorce, claiming irreconcilable differences. The difference was she had become captivated by a friend of a friend of an acquaintance, Avery McCallister. And less than a year after the divorce papers were signed, Carla was no longer an Arlen.

"So," he finally spoke. "Once again, you duped me? You pretended to still feel something for me to make me do your bidding. Did you ever love me, Carla?"

Standing up, Beau towers over the brunette, his chest heaving. "I'm just a pawn in your game of life huh? Well, guess what. I'm done. It's over. We're over. Emily and I are headed to Helena soon, and after her stint as camp staff is finished she can come back to you, if she wants. But I will not be returning. This is goodbye, Carla."

With that he turns and walks toward the door. As his hand wears around the knob, Carla defends herself.

"I do love you Beauford! You were my one true love for almost my whole twenties. But I let outside factors cloud my judgment. I am truly sorry, honey. I moved on but I guess I didn't expect you to. I'm sorry. "

"I'm sorry too," Beau replies before turning around and looking at his ex-wife. "I'm sorry for not being enough. I'm sorry that I let you down. But I will not apologize for continuing my life. And if she'll have me back, I plan to continue living my life in Montana with Y/N."

He gives a small smile toward Carla and turns the knob and walks out of her office, passing by the receptionist desk and to the elevator.

On the way to the bottom floor, Beau closes his eyes and pinches his nose. 'God, please don't have let me have fucked it up with Y/N. I'll beg if she wants!' he thinks to himself.

Beau: Hey Y/N. It's Beau. Looks like I'm going to be coming back to Helena. Could we meet up and talk about some things?

Beau wasn't expecting his phone to ring so when it did, he almost dropped the device in the floor.

"Y/N?"

"It's me," she answers and her voice washes over him like a warm breeze. God, how he missed her!

"How you been, sweetheart?"

Beau closes his eyes and just basks in the cadence of her voice until she says something that causes him to pause. His eyes shoot open. What did she mean by that?!

"Wait, what do you mean taking me back?! Don't you still live there? Please don't tell me you've moved back East," he begs.

She laughs and it brings a smile to his lips and he breathes easier. She explains that she still lives in Helena but isn't there and once again, Beau holds his breath. Had she already met someone and is off visiting her new man? Oh god, please don't let that be it!

"Ohhh," Beau breathes out before asking "where are you?"

As soon as her answer hits his ears, he smiles. She is so close. But why is she in Texas? What brought her to the Lonestar State?

@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogarukee @supraveng @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989 @deans-spinster-witch @yvonneeeeeeee @tmb510 @globetrotter28

#law & love #beau arlen #cordell walker #big sky #walker #texas ranger #y/n #beau x y/n #walker x y/n #not spn

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carefulfears · 7 months

Note

ok but who was the worst : diana or phoebe

well i can’t speculate like…differing forms of abuse as far as what’s objectively “worse” so i’m not gonna speak on trying to categorize their relationships with mulder or anything like that but what i will say is like, just between us gals, i think phoebe greene was a fucking sadist. like, i just don’t get her at all. diana divorced mulder to go do eugenics, and catalogue female abductees, and like...she still makes more sense to me. i believe her when she says that she has her reasons. i believe her when she says that she loves mulder. (even scully understands this, counts on it in the end). phoebe didn't care about literally anything but watching him squirm, she did it in college: she'll cross state lines to do it now.

this is perhaps a bit of a tangent, but, just to discuss an outside perspective...scully didn't know, really, the full picture with diana. she knew that something was wrong, she knew diana was up to something, she had her doubts.

but in terms of mulder, she didn't...see it. she saw them holding hands. she didn't see the way he turned his whole body away and shook his head, when diana told him that she was impressed with him. the way he smiled to calmly defend her, when diana kept making comments about his partner.

she watched him leave her in a driveway, go get in diana's car. she didn't hear "i was given this assignment, fox, okay? hey, you and i started the x-files together. don't forget that."

she heard "scully, you're making this personal." and "scully, you're reaching." and "scully, i know her, you don't." she didn't know that he left to search diana's apartment top to bottom, didn't see the way he froze when diana kissed him.

(thinking about scully standing in front of diana and earnestly begging her to just think)

with phoebe, she saw it. she saw how uncomfortable he was when phoebe kissed him, or was in his office. the way phoebe leaned in to whisper: "she hates me."

she saw him pull his robe tighter when phoebe walked in, listened to a taste of what "classic phoebe greene" meant, experienced phoebe's idea of a joke.

and that's another difference between them: phoebe was so overt. diana was calculated, controlling. she had an image to maintain. phoebe would make out with married men outside their wife's house. phoebe fucked on graveyards.

mulder even jokes with her about their relationship ("oh, come on. don't tell me you left your sense of humor in oxford 10 years ago." / "no, actually. it's one of the few things you didn't drive a stake through.") (he would never ever say anything like that to diana)

and hints to the nature of their relationship with scully ("so she shows up here knowing the power that she has over you, and then she makes you walk through fire, is that it? / "phoebe is fire.")

he never even told scully that diana existed, she had to ask his friends: "i want you to tell me who diana fowley is."

so...i know that i'm giving off conflicting conclusions here, but that's because there isn't a conclusion. just between us gals, i think phoebe greene is a fucking sadist, and i understand diana and her motives a lot more. but also, we're comparing a college tryst with a years-long (for all intents and purposes) marriage. they're very different women, they had very different relationships, they served very different purposes narratively and in mulder's character.

but also...would there have been a diana without phoebe? would diana have been as effective as a character without the knowledge of what came before her? would phoebe be as relevant without knowing what happens next?

#idk #diana #fire #asks

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apersonwholikeslotus · 7 months

Text

ok so I couldn't get the age order to be the way I wanted and ignore the moms names they're just placeholders;

but here is Abby's immediate family for the bookseller and the florist. François was married to Anne and they had Matt; they got divorced and after the divorce François realized he was Bi. Such is life. Matt was an "every 3 days kid" until he was like 12 and something with the custody came up; he went to being with dad all the time and mom only every other weekend. And by the time he was 15-ish he just stayed with François (and Will) all the time.

Will was married to Dorothy (they were highschool sweethearts who got married at like 19 and everyone was like 'bad idea but go off ig'), they pretty quickly had Jack, and then about three years later Liam. William had some Stuff (TM) happened that made him realize he was gay, him and Dorothy were divorced by the time Liam was 1. They're still decently good friends, even though she moved pretty far away. Jack and Liam always spent summers with her, school year with William and then bounced back and forth for the allotted holidays.

{side note there's eight-ish years between François and Will so Matt is significantly older than Jack and Liam even tho their dads were about the same age when they had their first kid}

I haven't decided exactly but Abby was somewhere between 7-10 when she was adopted; she's older than Liam, about the same age as Jack, and younger than Matt (yes i know what the fic says i'm going to edit some things). Will and François had been together for about 3-ish years when they adopted Abby. (well, William adopted Abby, François got his name added when it became legal where they lived when she was about 12)

{side note pt 2. in this AU François and Will never actually get married due to a little thing called "it's not legal yet" & when it does become legal they just don't bc of a mutual "marriage was fun to try but i'm never doing that again sorry"; they might file for some sort of civil partnership eventually but besides that}

Years later, like Liam is in his 2nd year of highschool later, they get early on-set empty nest do some Debating, and end up getting a surrogate and having Peter. Officially they don't know who his bio dad is, but you look at the boy for two minutes and can tell he's a Kirkland. Just,,, Matt is back in town, Abby & Jack are back from College for fall break or smth, Liam is in highschool he's always home but; they sit all the kids down and are just "we have big news, we're having a baby!" and the general reaction is "what-what the fuck? aren't you two like,,, ancient?"

Anyway time goes on, Peter is like 3, Liam moved out to live with his mom and go to college around where she lives, Abby is back with an English degree to help Will run the shop (initially she was going to be a teacher but changed her mind); Jack is getting some long fancy degree no one quite understands but he's hyped about it and he's never been excited about school. And Matt is off wandering a national park and having a grand old time doing it.

Pete is down for a nap François slides in the room with a serious conversation to have with William;

within two years they've adopted Angelique, she's about six when Pete is five so they're close but not as close as Abby and Jack. It's so stereotypical but Abby was super happy to have a sister FINALLY she had kinda been hoping Peter was a girl but it's fine. She's fine.

And then last but def not least in the story there is actually going to be a future chapter when Abby drags Lars to meet her parents with the excuse of "you know that baby my parents have been fostering? Wendy? well the adoption papers finally went through, so legally she's their kid and legally she's my sister and they're throwing a little party and you should come and meet the rest of my family everyone is going to be there yes bring Emma and Henri"

anyway the age order is;

Matthieu

Abby

Jack

Liam

Angelique

Peter

Wendy

#tb&tf #hetalia #hws france #hws england #hws america #nyo!america #hws canada #hws australia #hws new zealand #hws seychelles #hws sealand #hws wy #fruk

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mcflymemes · 1 year

Text

PROMPTS FROM STEP BROTHERS * assorted dialogue from the 2008 film

this house is a fucking prison!

we're in the bathroom!

i don't believe in belts.

it usually starts by you telling me a little something about yourself.

i'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you.

this wedding is horse shit.

you guys have an outstanding track record.

i was faking. i used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

i smoked pot with johnny hopkins.

you're not gonna come down and say hi to me?

i thought we'd begin talking about your parents' divorce.

i want you out of my fucking house!

i just want you to know i hate you.

oh stop it!

i dont have to swear to shit!

you must feel just terrible.

i owe you an apology.

you gotta keep an eye on it.

you take that back.

we do it because we love you.

hey, can i ask you something?

this is my house now.

what do we do now?

you're failures!

i wasn't fired from my job. i was laid off.

whoa, calm down, man. i'm just joking.

you know what? i still hate you.

you were dead. i saw you die.

sweet jesus! i love korean food!

maybe someday we could become friends.

do you wanna do karate in the garage?

we could hug.

i didn't want the salmon! i said four times!

it sounds a lot like the plot of good will hunting.

how old were you when they got divorced?

why are you so sweaty?

this is what i live with!

this is just like cold case files!

get out of my face, or i'm gonna roundhouse your ass.

was that a fart?

in no way, shape, or form do i feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

what if i were to tell you i could sell this house for 30% above market?

oh, i'm exhausted.

well that's fine.

i always wanted to be a dinosaur.

i can taste it on my tongue.

we're here to fuck shit up!

on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur.

i swear, i'm so pissed off at my mom.

i remember my first beer.

we can bicker about this all night, but what's done is done.

i would follow you into the mists of avalon.

shut the fuck up!

you're alive! oh my god!

my little brother is even a bigger asshole than you are.

i'm just saying, you need to think about your options.

i'm not gonna call him dad.

did you touch my drum set?

he had the craziest look in his eyes.

you have the voice of an angel.

believe me, i've told him that.

hey, you're embarrassing yourself!

do you want to talk about some of those feelings?

we like to shit with the door open.

guess what? i hate you too.

now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up.

you better not go to sleep, 'cause as soon as your eyes shut, i'm gonna punch you square in the face.

stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.

hey, you awake?

are you fucking crazy, man?

you're not feeling this?

i tea-bagged your drumset.

i know you two are technically married.

i'm not going to! ever!

my best friend is ben affleck.

look, i didn't touch your drum set.

okay, i'll be honest with you. i did fart.

you know what's good for shoulder pain?

we're putting the house on the market.

don't even think about it.

what's your problem?

i would've done the exact same thing.

did we just become best friends?

i feel like i'm smarter than most of the people who go there.

you and your mom are hillbillies.

it stinks. and this is a small room.

obviously... you don't know me.

my penis is tingling right now.

we make our own beef jerky.

you better not get in my face.

where are we moving?

ready? one, two, three.

i think it's time for a change. for both of us.

your voice is like a combination of fergie and jesus.

i know that we started out as foe.

i've seen him do it.

this house sucks ass.

the clown has no penis.

we are living the dream.

i'm just thinking about our life together.

what kind of dreams are you having?

shut up!

it was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him.

i hope you stay still when you sleep, 'cause i'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs.

why do you have randy jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon?

you leave me money for pizza?

well what about us?

we literally have never done any of those things.

what's this all about?

shut your mouth!

what the fuck happened?

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jerzwriter · 2 years

Text

So, it's Tik Tok Wednesday in NYC! :) A little late, but still... Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC Rating: Teen A/N: This takes place as they're checking out of the hotel in Miami. (Keep in mind, Ethan & Kaycee sort of made peace the morning after... but it was still awkward AF. Enjoy!)

@choicesmonthlychallenge - Flufftober - blushing

~~~~~

It was easy to lose Kaycee in the massive crowd of people checking out that morning. But when Ethan made his way down the escalator, he spotted her at the checkout desk right away. Every instinct in his body told him to go and join her; it felt so natural. That was precisely why it scared him to death, so instead, he made his way toward the exit to arrange for a cab - he'd text her and ask him to join him up front.

But as he stepped out into the humid Miami air, a wave of guilt crashed over him. She had shown such grace in a precarious situation, and he spent the next day doing all in his power to avoid her... and now he was being a coward once again. Taking a deep breath, he summoned his strength and turned on his heel to return inside and join her.

The crowd was thick as he approached, a mix of weary travelers and overexuberant revelers, and Ethan wasn't sure who he found more vexing. But as he approached Kaycee, the light that always seemed to surround her brought him comfort. He could already hear her melodic voice, although the conversation was not yet clear. It almost felt like coming home, then...

"... yes, my husband and I found everything delightful, thank you very much."

He stopped dead in his tracks, a cold sweat already forming beads on his forehead. Fight or flight was activated, and he never wanted to fight with her... so he should run, but that's when she turned around and found him staring as if he'd just seen a ghost.

"Ethan," she smiled, waving him closer. "Are you OK? Did you have too much to drink last night?"

"I, uh... uh..." he should just let it go. Pretend he hadn't heard, but he couldn't. Husband? What was she thinking, and why? "I'm fine, thanks, but...."

"But?" she prodded as his words hung.

"Why did you just refer to me as your... husband?"

"Oh," she laughed nervously. "Because the clerk asked if we enjoyed our stay, specifically referencing the honeymoon suite. I just figured it was easier to play along. Would you have rathered I told him the truth?"

"You didn't have to say anything..."

"Ethan, sometimes it's better to just roll with it. We'll be checked out in five minutes, and this man will never think of us again."

"I get that," he answered with agitation, "but why would he assume we were married?"

"Uhm, because it was the honeymoon suite?"

Ethan looked at her incredulously, an annoyed smirk on his lips. "And do you think every couple who has utilized that room has been married? In this day and age? His alluding to such a thing was absurd, to begin with."

"So, it's sexual liberty and freedom from the restraints of government-sanctioned bonds that is stressing you out right now...."

"I'm not stressed!" He barked... clearly stressed. "But yes, that's part of it. Marriage is a contract. It's a piece of paper. And based on the divorce rates, it's pretty clear what a useless piece of paper it is. I don't even know why they call it the honeymoon suite...." his voice trailed, and Kaycee saw Adam's apple bop before he let out one last utterance. "Ridiculous."

"OK," she acquiesced, turning around just as the clerk approached.

"Well, it looks like you're all set, ma'am. Additional expenses were charged to the card on file, and you or the lucky Mr. will be getting an e-mailed receipt."

"Oh, thank you," she smiled politely. "But... I feel I've misled you."

"Excuse me?" the clerk replied as Ethan's eyes shut tightly.

"We're not married. He's my boss. I'm his intern. And he feels marriage is a flawed institution that has long outlived its significance and importance. So... he's not my husband."

She chuckled as she imagined Ethan's face, she couldn't see it, but she heard a horrified gasp.

"I see then. Whatever floats your boat, we don't judge at the Hudson Hotels."

A red-faced Ethan hurried toward the door, Kaycee quick at his heels.

"Why on earth would you do that?" he hissed, clearly not as amused by the situation as the captivating young intern.

"To teach you a lesson, sometimes it's better just to go along with an assumption. I told you he would have forgotten us, but now, we'll be one of his favorite check-outs for life."

She broke out into a fit of giggles, apologizing as she attempted to gain control, only to break out into laughter again. Ethan did his best to keep his face set in stone as he glared at her from behind his Ray-Bans, but in the end, he shook his head with a half-grin. She was right. He was being ridiculous.

"You're going to be the death of me, Rookie."

Perma tags: @a-crepusculo @aishwarya26 @animesuck3r @annfg8 @annoyingmillenialnewbie @bex-la-get @binny1985 @bluebelle08 @bluerosesbloom @cariantha @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @danijimenezv @different4strawberry @differenttyphoonwerewolf @doriopenheart @fayeswiftie @forallthatitsworth @genevievemd @inlocusmads @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kingliam2019 @liaromancewriterr @lilypills @lucy-268 @mainstreetreader @mysticalgalaxysstuff @ofmischiefandmedicine @onikalover @openheartforeverinmyheart @peonierose @peonyblossom @potionsprefect @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @toadfrog26 @trappedinfanfiction @uneravine @youlookappropriate @zahrachoices @jerzwriter-reblogs-asks @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #tik tok tuesday #ethan x kaycee #choices monthly

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fritextramole · 1 year

Text

Gossip Girl Mamma Mia au bc it got long I didn't wanna take over @vanderwoodlings beautifully thought out greek mythology post any more than i had. but i still have ideas to share with her, @strideofpride and @blairwaldcrf (who first suggested this)

Lily as Donna with a wild child past that she's a little ashamed of but also definitely misses - but she doesn't want her daughter going down the same path. The movies are inconsistent but it seems like Donna's mom stopped supporting her when she got pregnant (which could mean no Scott but this is Mamma Mia so maybe he just shows up in a fun twist - after all, Cece would probably be less forgiving the second time)

Serena as Sophie. raised by a single mom. they clearly love each other but also have their differences. Impulsive. wonders what her life would be like if she had her dad around

she has an impending wedding to Carter Baizen. Independent from his parents while she's tied to her mom. doesn't want the big white wedding and would rather use that money to travel, but he's doing it for her. where Carter differs from Sky The Film Fiance is that he knows she wants to find her dad and is helping

which leaves Eric her younger (half) brother to fill the role of supportive, but distinctly aware of how ridiculous this is. he understands that Serena wants to find her dad, but figured out that he doesn't need a father to feel whole and thinks throwing a giant wedding just so she can invite three men she's never met is a terrible idea

things get fuzzier with the other adults bc gossip girl just doesn't have that many, but I'll do what I can

the easiest is Rufus as Sam, the only potential father that Donna loved. things went south. he married someone else and had 2 kids shortly after. that marriage didn't work out and he always wondered about what could have been so when he gets an invite to her daughter's wedding he figures why not attend

William van der Woodsen works better as Bill (impulsive, kinda smarmy) than Harry (timid but wishes he wasn't) so we'll call him Will (which doubles as the average of their names and a portmanteau of Worse Bill,) say he attended for the hell of it, and move on to his love interest

Carol as Rosie. Lily's bandmate / close friend / sister. pushed her to free herself from Cece and spread her wings. never married - takes pride in being a lone wolf. had a thing for Will when they briefly knew each other 20 years ago. she never lived on Kalokari in the movie so we could say that she slept with Will shortly after Lily and that's when Charlie was conceived (and kept secret from Lily)

Tanya and Harry are even harder. the flashback episode had them hanging out with Carol's coworker Owen, who's enough of a blank slate to be either one. We could blur canon even more and stick Eleanor Waldorf in as Tanya (rich. vain. divorced once or thrice) but that doesn't really work

Harry had a Johnny Rotten t shirt (and Colin Firth looked like a rocker in the iconic flashback moment before Mamma Mia (the song)) so we'll say he's some other rockstar Lily slept with and Tanya is another groupie and leave it at that

Nate and Blair as Sophie's bridesmaids (Ally and Lisa) who get caught up in her scheme. they had their cute little rhyme and i think it would be fun! "we're Sophie, Ally Lisa! We're the greatest bestest mates! I'm tough! (N) I'm tall! (S) I'm tiny! (B) and we're gonna rock this place!"

Sky's best man Pepper is not a super important part of the movie but he is a fun ball of chaos so we could file off the more problematic aspects of Chuck or Georgina and stick them in here to hit on The Nameless Former Groupie

the original plays out in a hotel on a Greek island. which feels very Serena (and is a fun nod to her time on Santorini with Carter) so we'll keep it. Lily Rhodes graduated from Brown with a degree in classics and an interest in photography. before settling down in either New York or Montecito she took a trip to Greece with her wayward sister Carol and their friend, singing for fun and for money, bc their mom refused to pay for this trip as long as Carol was involved

Lily has a short fling with Rufus while they're both on Kalokari, but uh oh! he has a fiance back home. she finds out. he disappears into the night. she falls in bed with Will and Some Other Guy to drown her sorrows. He returns, having broken things off with Alison, but it's that rom com trope where he sees her on a date through the window and figures she's moved on, so he goes home and begs Alison to marry him

Lily never really got over Rufus but she manages to build a home on Kalokari. Her heartache is the least of her worries when she discovers that she's pregnant. she opens a hotel bc singing and photography aren't enough to support her daughter, and besides, the island is beautiful and people should visit

20ish years later the plot plays out more or less the same, with Serena finding a diary (or for Lily, a photo album) from the year her mom was pregnant with her and deciding she wants a big wedding so she can find her dad (and hopefully figure herself out in the process.) she invites the men, miraculously they all attend. Lily's already stressed from wedding planning and from her daughter growing up (and potentially leaving with her new husband) and having 3(!!) exes around is NOT helping

the men independently figure out that "oh! I must be Serena's dad! that's why I was invited! I'm gonna do the right thing and walk her down the aisle! :)" Serena's overwhelmed by her lies and ends up picking a fight with her mom and brother the morning of her wedding but they patch it up while Lily and Eric help her get ready

Rufus is trying to get back together with Lily. He sees his opportunity when Serena decides at the altar that actually Carter and Eric are right! she doesn't want a big wedding! she calls it off in the middle and she and Carter decide to use the money to travel and get married some other time. the truth finally comes out and all three men agree to each be 1/3 Serena's father (they offer for Eric but he politely declines.) Rufus takes this opportunity to propose to Lily and the two of them get married bc we're all here anyway (except for his two children but that's a story for Mamma Mia 3 I guess)

speaking of which! sequel plots for this au include

it turns out Lily and Rufus already knew other before that European tour and much to Rufus' surprise have a son together

Rufus' other children track down their dad in Greece and go hey dad what the fuck but decide they like Kalokari and stick around part time

Blair almost marries the visiting prince of Monaco but decides she likes Rufus' mildly pretentious curly haired son better

Surprise! Will and Carol have a child together! No one is pleased!

Lily has a health scare and everyone is prompted to decide who will get the hotel. They decide Scott, who's both the oldest, and needs a stronger connection to his family

The hotel had been closed for renovations and Cece arrives (uninvited! how gauche) to the reopening party to see what her daughter has built

this list had convinced me we need a Mamma Mia Gossip Girl sitcom bc I'm having a lot of fun with this

#gg #mamma mia!#gossip girl #lily van der woodsen #rufus humphrey #serena van der woodsen #im not gonna tag anyone else those are the main 3 #aus I'll never write #i dont write fanfic so if anyone wants this idea its free

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sessakag · 1 year

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Secrets <3F The Hidden Leaf

Hello, I love this smutty, smut story sooooo much (makes me feel like I’m in the room with them or better yet, I’m experiencing everything Hinata is) 😩 n I loveeee how you’re writing Naruto to be this dominant beast with soooo much tender n care. They’re the HOTTEST no questions ask!

I definitely picture him like this irl n I love how Hinata is getting to experience all these new things 🥰 my lil shy care bear.

Questions: Will Sasuke pardon’s go well? Will Hinata go against her father’s n Clan’s wishes by moving in with Naruto anyways? (She’s basically already living there)

Will Naruto eventually let that hurt go from his first gf n get the balls to marry Hinata? My girl needs a RING 🤷🏾‍♀️

Will Sakura get caught for living file?

Will Lee move on from her ^ after he realizes she’s just using him? I want better for my baby 🥴

Will she n Sasuke get a divorce or will they just work thru their problems? N will she eventually try having xes the way he likes n vice versa?

Will Ino invite Hinata in her bedroom? 🤣 Sis got more than a lil crush on her 🙊

Does Kiba look at Hinata different now? Does he secretly wanna get with her? 👀 (Will he ask to join them?) ps: I don’t mind those 2 together at all I’ve read other fics n omggg their pretty hot…

How will Sasuke ask Naruto to join their bedroom? Or will it be the other way around? 😩😩 Tbcompletelyh I seriously doubt Hinata will be comfortable with him, she’s already embarrassed n shy around him n she’s already having 3/4sums with Naruto’s clones…

(so f’n HOT)

When Sasuke finally does gets a taste will he be addicted? Is these lil fantasies of his an ongoing thing? Will they turn into wet dreams? Will he be possessive? Will Naruto become crazy jealous? Will they… do their own thing? (Don’t mind a lil bxb action) Will Hinata like those 2 together with her? OMG will Kiba see the wholeee thing n get ideas of his own? (He’s a p*rv 🤣) but then again we’re talking ab Kiba lmfaoooo

Will the other guys warm up to Sasuke being around?

Sorry for these long a*s questions 🥴

I LOVE the pacing of this book! A good slow burn is NICE! Don’t rush it pls, it’s all apart of the journey 😭 besides irl they would never move this fast.. but I’m glad you’re writing ab my favorite throuple 🥰🥰 love ur other stories btw

Happy you're enjoying Secrets, even better that you can place yourself in the fic 🥰🥰🥰that's like the highest compliment for a writer 🥹 I'm a staunch believer that stories should be experienced rather than read 🥰

A sweet, dominant Naruto is 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 he's got a firm hand but a tender heart, the perfect combo in my book 🥰 a lot of people wite him as a sub, and I get that could be a thing, but he just gives me Dom energy with a undercurrent of softness and care.

I think his head strong, leadership aura is perfect for coaxing Hinata from her comfort zone and exploring the different layers of sexuality and personality, and he's accepting of the way she is. He tests her boundaries but he also respects her hard limits 🥰 it's really very sweet, I swear, but Naruto himself is a sweetheart, so it comes with the territory.

Your questions shall be answered between Secrets and it's planned sequel :D

Omg, the Ino situation, lot of people have inquired about that teasing attraction dynamic 😂 Ino does like a bit of Hina, but she's so cute, and sweet and adorable, who wouldn't want a bit of Hina?

Their three-way union will be writhe with excitement, soul searching and exploration. I cannot wait to get to that part. This is a slow burn for a reason though, I don't think any of them are the type to jump into something like this either, it needs time and foundation to get to that point. Sasuke can be very stubborn, Hinata can be very shy, Naruto can be very Naruto, it's a delicate balance that I'm not gonna rush, don't you worry!

Secrets doesn't have m/m action(not in the context that we're talking about at least🤭) since there's so much angst and emotional stuff going on, I didn't want to overwhelm myself with it, however, A Cure For Love does have m/m intimacy. That fic is a supernatural, enemies to lovers, throuple story.

I love this long ask, just like the other one 🥰 no worries! Feel free to write as much as you'd like! Thanks for the ask!

Secrets of the Hidden Leaf

#ask #fanfiction #answer #naruto

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