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harley-sunday · 1 year

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Feels Like Home [05]

Summary: When an unexpected three-week break between Monza and Singapore finds Daniel back on his farm in Perth he’s desperate to use this time to clear his mind, figure out his future in Formula One, and find his way back. He didn’t expect a new neighbour, a sassy two-year old, and three alpacas would make him realise that sometimes, what you’re looking for is right in front of you.

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x reader (unnamed OFC)

Warnings: Language

Word count: 6.2k (I regret nothing)

AN: First of all, thank you for all the love on the last four chapters, it warms my cold dead heart to see your comments and reblogs and just- Thank you ♥ This next chapter is a little special to me because this is ultimately where the story started. I wrote this first (which is so unlike me because I never write out of order) and only started working on the rest of the story after. I really hope you like it as much as I do :)

Masterlist

“I’m setting the timer for fifteen minutes, ok?”

It’s a rhetorical question from Michael and so Daniel doesn’t answer but instead closes his eyes, drops his shoulders, and straightens his back. His wrists are resting on top of his knees as he sits in a cobbler’s pose on a yoga mat in the middle of his home gym. He tries to clear his head, tries to focus on his breathing and the meditation exercise Michael wants him to do but he’s too distracted by the late winter storm that’s raging outside and he ends up counting the seconds between the thunderclaps instead. Who knows, he thinks, maybe that counts as meditation too.

It must, at some point, because when his phone starts ringing he startles, eyes flying open and his heart somewhere high in his throat. He lets out a high-pitched, “Jeepers,” he isn’t necessarily proud of before he blindly reaches behind him in search of his phone.

“Dan,” Michael says beratingly, still in his cobbler’s pose, eyes closed, back ramrod straight, as poised as ever. “You have a ‘do not disturb’ option on there, mate. Use it next time, will you?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel replies absentmindedly, finally getting a hold of his phone. He can’t help but smile when he sees who’s calling and so he answers with an eager, “Hey,”

“Daniel, hi-”

For a moment he thinks she’s calling him to talk about what happened last night because God knows he would like a do-over so he could have kissed her but she sounds- Upset and so he’s on edge immediately, stretching out his legs so he can get up quickly if he has to. He has a feeling he might.

“I’m sorry to bother you but I didn’t know who else to call and-”

“Hey, no,” he interrupts her, his voice more soothing now because he wants her to know he’s there for her no matter how bad it is, all the while hoping that whatever it is has nothing to do with Ellie. Or Oscar. “What’s going on?”

She lets out a heavy sigh and he can just about see her bite her lip the way he’s noticed she does whenever she’s upset, “A tree fell down over at Eagle’s Nest and it wrecked a good five metres of fence.” She lets out a shaky breath and it’s then he can hear the wind and the rain on her end of the line, “I’m trying to keep the girls inside the paddock but with the storm-”

“They’re scared,” he offers, knowing how nervous the herd is on any given calm day so he can only imagine how stressed they must be now. He hears Homer bark on the other end of the line then and he’s never been more relieved to know she’s at least got the dog with her.

“Yeah,” she says, her voice a little shaky and he hates how desperate she sounds. “I need to get the fence fixed but I can’t get them inside the shed and-”

“Say no more.” Daniel gets up and taps Michael's shoulder to get him to join him, “We’re on our way.”

Michael eyes him suspiciously but does as he’s told when Daniel shakes his head to let him know now’s not the time to ask questions.

“Where are you?”

“You know that little creek that passes through Eagle’s Nest on the south border?”

Not even a week ago he would have had no idea what she’s talking about, would probably have gotten lost trying to find her, but now he knows exactly where she is, “Near that old gum tree?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok. Just-” He hesitates, not in the least because Michael is staring at him like he’s suddenly grown three heads and so he turns his back to his best friend and lowers his voice, “You got this, ok? Stay with the girls, they trust you, right?” He waits until she hums in reply before he continues, “I know it’s scary but we’ll be there soon, ok? I’m not letting anything happen to you or the girls.”

“Ok,” she whispers and his heart, oh his heart.

“Ok.” He motions for Michael to follow him downstairs. “I’m on my way.” He’s about to hang up when he hears her call his name and so he puts the phone back to his ear, “Yeah?”

“You should-” She clears her throat, “Can you check on Granddad and Ellie first? I’ve been here for a long time already and-”

“Yep. I’ll stop there on the way over, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Babe-” the term of endearment slips out almost effortlessly and he hopes he’s allowed to use it- “you got this. Homer’s with you. You got this.” It’s then he walks into the kitchen and sees Blake look up at him from where he’s working on his laptop at the kitchen table. Daniel shakes his head to the question he knows Blake was going to ask and he can see Blake shift his focus to Michael, looking at him for answers but Michael just shrugs and Daniel knows he has some explaining to do. Not now though. Now, he tells her, “I’m going to hang up now, ok? We’re on our way.”

“Ok.”

“Ok, I’ll see you soon.” He ends the call and pockets his phone and before Michael or Blake have the chance to say anything he rattles off a list of things they need, “B, I’m gonna need you to put on some of my boots and a rain jacket, get the truck and see if the chainsaw’s still in the back. If not, it should be in the garage. Make sure to grab a can of diesel as well and then meet us back here.” He turns towards Michael next, “Mikey, I need you to gather some dry clothes, sweats, jumpers, take whatever you need from the merch samples in my office and then get dressed as well. We’re going to be outside for a while and it’s shit weather, so both of you dress warm, ok?”

Blake and Michael look at him as if they’re still trying to process what is happening but then Daniel spurs them on by clapping his hands a few times and watches them do as they’re told without asking any questions and Daniel’s not sure he’s ever loved his best friends more than right at this exact moment.

It takes them no more than five minutes to get everything they need and then they’re off, Daniel quietly cursing because the bad weather makes him drive slower than he’d like but he knows it’s better to be safe than sorry right now.

“Where-” Blake starts from the backseat but then lets the question die down, as if he knows he won’t get a straight answer anyway.

Daniel looks at him through the rearview mirror, “I’ll explain everything later, ok? I just-” He looks at Michael then, “It’s a long story.”

Michael nods and pats his knee, “It’s ok, mate. Just tell us what to do when we get there.”

Daniel nods and tries to at least explain where they’re going but the words seem stuck in his throat and so he focuses on the road instead, the rain hitting the car and the frantic squeaking of the windshield wipers the only sound until he puts his blinker on and turns into his neighbour’s driveway.

Next to him he hears Michael let out a quiet, “Ah. Ok.”

Daniel doesn’t say anything because all of a sudden he feels nervous, something tightening in his stomach as he pulls up to the house. “I’m gonna check up on Oscar real quick, ok? Stay here.”

“We’re not helping Oscar?” Michael asks, a little surprised.

Daniel shakes his head but doesn’t say anything and he can feel both Michael and Blake stare at him as he unbuckles his seatbelt, puts on his hood, and steps outside, but once again he decides not to waste any time. He’ll explain later. They’ll understand.

The rain is relentless, pelting down on him and making his face tingle and so he jogs towards the front porch, letting out a relieved breath when he’s out of the rain. He tries to shake off as much water as he can before he pushes his hood down and kicks his boots off. He knocks three times, hoping Oscar can hear him over the howling wind so he doesn’t scare the old man, and then opens the door and steps inside, shrugging off his raincoat and leaving it on one of the hooks on the wall.

He finds Oscar where he expected him to, in the living room, except there are no old reruns of the Price Is Right playing in the background this time, and Daniel tries to smile so as to not upset the old man, “Hi mate, how’s it going?”

Oscar looks up at the sound of his voice and Daniel can see his eyes light up, “Danny, thank God.”

“Did she call you too?”

Oscar nods.

“Ok. Good. I got two of my mates in the car and we’re heading over there right now, but she wanted me to check up on you and Ellie first though, so here I am.”

“Ellie’s been awake for a while,” Oscar says, sounding incredibly guilty. “I think she only slept for thirty minutes before the thunder woke her up. I’ve been trying to get up to get her but-”

“Hey,” Daniel puts his hand on the old man’s arm, “it’s ok. Ellie will be fine. I’ll go get her, ok?”

Oscar nods again, “Thanks, Danny.”

“Don’t worry about it, mate,” Daniel says as he stands up. He hurries up the stairs and all but runs to Ellie’s room, relief washing over him when he finds the little girl sitting upright in her cot, quietly babbling to herself as she hugs a stuffed koala close to her chest. Daniel moves slowly so as not to startle her, “Hi Ellie.”

The moment Ellie sees him she starts to smile, holding out her arms to him, her voice still a little raspy, “Danny.”

Something tugs on his heart then, not only because she remembers him but also because she seems genuinely happy to see him, and he’s not sure if it’s love just yet but it comes awfully close. “Hi sweetheart,” he says as he reaches into her cot and picks her up. “Hey sleepyhead.”

She looks at him intently, little brows furrowed in an adorable way, and then looks past him as if she’s searching for something. He guesses she is when she says, “Where momma?”

“Momma’s outside,” he tells her with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. He can see her bottom lip start to tremble and so he quickly adds, “She asked me to come check up on you and Pop-Pop before I go to see her. A tree fell down so she needs some help.” It feels important to add, “But as soon as we’re done we’ll come right back, ok? I know momma misses you too.”

Ellie seems to think about that for a second but then she settles into him without hesitation, head resting on his shoulder as she lets out a content sigh and he swears he feels his heart grow at least three sizes.

“Let’s get you downstairs, huh? Go see Pop-Pop,” he whispers before he presses a kiss to the top of her head. When he turns around he sees the changing table and he knows from when his sister’s kids were smaller that he should probably check if her diaper is full but he’s not sure he’s allowed yet and so instead he grabs what he thinks is the diaper bag and takes it downstairs with him.

“She was very much awake,” Daniel says as he makes his way back into the living room and drops the bag next to where Oscar is sitting. He bows down so he can hand Ellie over but the little girl clings to him even more and shakes her head, “With you.”

“You gotta stay here for a little while, sweetheart,” Daniel explains but Ellie doesn’t seem to want to let go and looks away. Daniel looks at Oscar for help but knows there’s not much he can do either and so he stands back up and tries again, “I have to go help momma, bub.”

“No.”

Daniel has to suppress a smile, admiring the little girl’s stubbornness that she’s definitely gotten from her mom.

“Come with,” Ellie whispers.

He knows he doesn’t really have time to try and convince the girl to stay here, plus he’s got Blake and Michael with him so surely one of them could watch Ellie while they fix the fence. Daniel looks at Oscar and shrugs apologetically, “Is it ok if I take her? Might be easier that way.”

Oscar nods and leans over so he can grab what seems to be Ellie’s clothes from the couch next to him, understanding the urgency, “Put these on. Take the bag. Her rain suit is in the mudroom. Boots too.”

“Mint,” Daniel says with a smile as he takes the clothes from him. “Come on, bub. Let’s get you dressed.”

Somehow he remembers to warm up a bottle of milk for her before he stuffs a banana in his pocket and hauls ass to his car. He doesn’t have a car seat and so, when he opens the passenger’s door a few minutes later, he hands Ellie to a very bewildered looking Michael instead, “Say hi to your uncle Michael, El.”

“Mate, what?”

Daniel doesn’t answer, gives the little girl her bottle and closes the door because he knows they’ve been here far too long already and he really, really wants to make sure she’s ok. When he slides into his own seat he takes his hood off and grins at Michael, who's still looking confused as fuck but now with a toddler in his lap, “Not mine. Promise.”

“Ok,” Michael draws out, pulling the zipper of Ellie’s rain suit down a little so it doesn’t dig into her skin. “Whatever you say, mate.”

From the backseat Blake lets out a cackle, “You’ve got some serious explaining to do, mate. This is all confusing as f-”

“Oi!” Daniel reaches back and flicks Blake’s forehead, “Watch your language, will ya.”

This time it’s Michael who laughs, “I don’t even know what is happening right now but-”

“Just-” Daniel starts the car and heads past the sheds and onto Coopers Lane, knowing it will get them to Eagle’s Nest quickest. “Later, ok? I promise.” He pulls the banana out of his pocket and puts it on the dashboard, “Give her this once she’s finished her bottle, will ya?”

“Uhu,” Michael says as he tightens his grip on Ellie who is quietly singing her made up ‘Danny Banana’ song to herself and seems to be perfectly happy to be here. He doesn’t say anything else and Daniel is thankful that both Michael and Blake seem to understand the urgency of him wanting to get wherever it is they’re going, instead of wasting time answering their questions.

It takes them about ten minutes to reach the creek and he spots her red ute easily enough, parked haphazardly in front of the fallen tree. He pulls up behind it and tells Michael and Blake to stay put while he checks out what’s going on before he looks at Ellie and says, “I’m going to go find momma, ok. You stay here with uncle Michael and uncle Blake?”

The girl nods enthusiastically and above her Michael absolutely beams, “She likes me.”

“Yeah, she does.” Daniel smiles and gently squeezes Ellie’s cheek, “I’ll be right back, ok?” He doesn’t wait for an answer and jumps out of the car, trying to see if he can see where she’s at. It’s still raining and so he holds his hand over his eyes, squinting as he lets his eyes roam along the fence line until he sees something bright yellow a little further down. He wants to rush towards her but he knows it’ll scare the animals and so instead he starts quietly talking so they know there’s someone coming.

When he’s only a few metres away from where they’re standing he stops because for now the situation seems under control and he’s not sure it’ll stay that way if he comes any closer. He raises his voice so they can hear him, “Hello ladies.” The dog lets out a whine and so he quickly adds, “And Homer.”

“Oh, thank God,” she whispers and he can see the relief wash over her. The three alpacas she’s trying to keep from escaping are absolutely drenched but are at least staying in their spot and don’t seem to be planning going anywhere else just yet.

He gives her a small smile, “Sorry it took us so long, we-”

“Us?”

“Yeah, uh-” he scrunches his nose, “Michael and Blake were over at my place so- They’re here to help.”

She nods but doesn’t say anything else and he figures she’s probably exhausted and cold and he wants nothing more than to tell her to take Ellie and head back to the house, that he’ll take care of it with Michael and Blake but he knows they’re nothing without her knowledge and so he offers the next best thing, “What do you need us to do?”

She takes a deep breath and nods towards the pack, “If we can get them into the shed? That way we don’t have to worry about them escaping.” When he nods she continues, “There’s rope in my car, take that, and also- Grab a bucket and put two or three scoops of the grain pellets in there, it’s all in the trunk. Might be easier to lure them that way.”

“Ok.”

“I only need you here, Daniel,” she adds then with a hesitant smile. “The girls know and trust you but if we bring two other people in-”

“They might get spooked.” Daniel nods, trying to act cool even though the way she just told him she only needs him makes him feel all sorts of things, and so he does what he does best and acts goofy, pointing his fingers at her and clicking his tongue, “Gotcha.” It makes him feel like an idiot.

If she feels the same way she at least is graceful enough not to cringe at his antics. “They can help after,” she says and he knows it’s because she feels guilty. “With the fence?”

“Don’t worry about them,” he’s quick to reassure her as he waves to where his car is. “They’re watching Ellie, so I’m sure they’re on their third rendition of ‘The Wheels of the Bus’ anyway.”

“Ellie?” She narrows her eyes at him and for a moment he’s worried he’s fucked up but then she nods, “I guess it’s probably better you didn’t leave her with granddad. Who knows how long this is gonna take.”

“I’ll go get everything we need,” he says. He throws her a wink then, “‘I’ll be right back.”

***

The feed proves to be a lifesaver and you’re able to lure the pack to the shed within seconds.

“It’s ok,” you tell the girls, who are huddled together in the far corner. “You just stay here for a while, ok? We’ll go fix the fence and then I’ll be back to check up on you later.” You tell Dan to step outside before you follow after him and quietly close the door. You can’t help the relieved sigh that escapes you once you let yourself lean against the shed, shielded from the rain by the overhanging roof, “Holy shit, I’m glad that’s over.”

“Come here,” Daniel says and holds out his arms to you, pulling you close when you step into his embrace, and presses a long hard kiss to your temple. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

You shrug but wrap your arms around him a little tighter anyway. It's the first time he's holding you like this and it feels- Nice. Part of you wants to stay here, wrapped up in his arms with his chin resting on the top of your head and your cheek against his chest, but, “We should probably go fix that fence, huh?”

Daniel smiles then, “Wanna go say hi to Ellie first?”

You nod and Daniel lets go of you, taking your hand instead, and leads you back to his car. You can hear Ellie’s high pitched giggle coming from inside and can’t help but smile when you see one of Daniel’s friends, Blake he tells you, make silly faces at your daughter who’s sitting in what then must be Michael’s lap.

Daniel knocks on the hood to let his friends know you’re back and seconds later two grown men and a toddler tumble out of his truck and you make a conscious effort to remember this moment forever because it’s too precious not too.

Ellie wriggles in Michael’s arms and when he puts her down she rushes over, “Momma!”

“Hi baby,” you pick up your little girl and pepper her face with kisses. “Momma’s missed you.” You look at Daniel’s friends then, “Thank you, guys.”

“No worries,” Michael tells you. “That’s easily the happiest, most easy-going kid I’ve ever seen.” Next to him Blake nods in agreement.

“Just like her mom,” Daniel adds with a wink before he introduces you to his friends.

Blake and Michael share a look but don’t say anything and you doubt Daniel has even seen it, too busy blowing a raspberry at Ellie, but before you have a chance to ask if they even knew of your existence Michael looks at you and nods towards the paddock, “What can we do to help?”

“I think we need to start by cutting down that tree,” you tell them as you point over your shoulder. “It looks like only a few branches hit the fence so if we take those now I can do the rest later this week.” Daniel starts to protest but you shake your head, “That’s for another day, Daniel. I can always ask George Yanos to come help out. I just really want to get that fence back up as soon as possible so we can all go home and warm up.” You look at Blake and Michael then, “You two are staying for dinner, by the way.”

“We haven’t even done anything yet,” Blake protests.

“Oh,” you reply with a wicked grin, “just you wait.” You turn to Daniel, “Can you head back to the farm and get the chainsaw? It’s in the shed next to the chicken coop.”

Daniel grins wickedly and nods towards his truck, “I already brought mine.”

“Ok. Perfect.” You look back at Michael and Blake, “Blake, could you help Daniel with the tree? If you cut the branches off first you should be able to cut down the trunk a lot easier after. It doesn’t have to be pretty and you can just leave it where it is, as long as the fence is cleared.”

Daniel nods and Blake salutes you with a grin, “Yes ma’am.”

“Michael? Would you mind taking care of Ellie? I’ll get started on the fence but I can’t really watch her at the same time and-”

“Of course,” Michael says with a wide smile. He squats and holds out his hands to Ellie who walks over to him without hesitating.

You look up at the sky then, a little relieved to see some lighter patches in between the clouds, “The rain should die down a little over the next hour or so, but I don’t really want to wait on that so I think we might as well get going now.”

Without having to say anything else the guys spur into action and you press a quick kiss to Ellie’s cheek, “Let’s get to work, huh bub?”

***

It takes them almost thirty minutes to cut all the branches off but at least by then the rain has changed to a light drizzle and the wind has dropped considerably.

“So,” Blake starts all of a sudden, after he’s picked up a piece of the branch they’ve cut up earlier so he can drag it away from the fence, “how long has this been going on, mate?”

“Blake,” Daniel warns him, not wanting her to overhear his dumbass best friend making smart remarks.

“What?” Blake feigns surprise but grins, “Seriously mate, what is going here? Is this why you wanted me to clear your schedule? So you could hook up with your neighbour?”

Daniel picks up a branch as well and joins Blake to where they’ve started a pile of sorts, a little further into the paddock, “I’m-” he starts, not sure what he’s going to say because he doesn’t even know. He glances over his shoulder to where she’s repairing the fence then, Michael standing next to her with Ellie on his shoulders, and when she looks up and catches his gaze, and his entire body heats up because she smiles at him, he knows he’s officially done for and so he tells Blake the truth, “I really like her, mate.”

“Dan-”

“I know,” Daniel says, holding up his hands in defence, knowing exactly what it is his best friend is implying. “I know, ok?”

Blake lets out a sigh as he pushes his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose, “It’s just- We can make this work after the season, ok? Not now.”

Daniel scoffs, “I said I like her, mate. Not that I’m thinking of proposing to her next week.”

“No, I know but-” Blake shrugs, pushing his glasses back down. “If this comes out before we’ve finalised the Red Bull deal we’ll have a hard time telling everyone they had nothing to do with each other.”

Daniel doesn’t say anything for a while, just stares at his best friend and for the briefest of moments he hates that Blake is also his manager and always has to think five steps ahead and can never just be happy for him.

He knows the PR-game is always a tricky one, even more so whenever he dates someone he actually likes, but it’s not like they run a risk here. There’s no paparazzi around, no Kym Illman to try and sneak pictures of drivers’ wives and girlfriends without asking, and, except for dinner on Friday, they haven’t been anywhere public yet. Besides, he doesn’t even know if what they have qualifies as a relationship. Yes he likes her, very much, and yes, he wants to spend more time with her, but he’s known her for a grand total of ten days. In the end that’s what he tells Blake, “I’ve only just met her, B. Let’s take it easy, ok?”

“Ok,” Blake agrees with a curt nod that Daniel feels is more to please him than it is because Blake agrees with him. “Let me know if anything changes, ok?”

“Yep.”

Blake looks over to where Michael is standing then, a mischievous grin on his face, “Is there any way you’ll let me mess with Talzo a little longer? Tell him she’s your cousin or something? Make him freak out a little?”

Daniel lets out a honking laugh and pushes Blake back towards the fallen tree, “You’re the worst.”

“Yeah, but will you let me?”

“No.” Daniel shakes his head, “Not this time, mate.”

“Oh God,” Blake mutters then, flicking Daniel’s forehead, “you really like her.”

“I really do,” Daniel agrees easily enough.

It takes another hour but then the tree is cut up into what seem to be at least a hundred pieces and the fence is repaired and looking as good as new and so Daniel beams at his best friends, “Thanks guys. That was-”

“Don’t worry about it, mate,” both Blake and Michael say at the same time with an almost identical shrug.

Daniel throws his arm around her shoulders then and presses a kiss to her temple, “Ready to head back? Oscar must be getting worried what’s taking us so long.”

“Yeah,” she says as she leans into him. “I think we all deserve a warm shower and a cold beer.”

“Come on,” he says as he nods towards her truck, “I’ll drive.”

She takes Ellie from Michael and walks to the passenger’s seat, where he’s holding the door open for her. Once she’s seated, Ellie in her lap because it’s too much hassle to put her in the car seat, he closes the door and rounds the car to the driver’s side.

It’s a bumpy ride back to the farm, lots of fallen branches he hadn't noticed before littering Coopers Lane and so it takes them a good ten minutes to reach the house, both of them letting out a sigh of relief when he turns the engine off. Daniel turns in his seat and teases Ellie’s hair, “You’re a superstar, Miss Ellie.” He looks up at her then, “Just like your momma.”

“Thank you,” she says with a warm smile.

***

The warm water runs out when Blake is taking his shower and you can hear him curse all the way in the kitchen, drawing laughs from you and Michael, both of you already showered and changed into warm clothes already, working on putting some dinner together. Daniel’s in the living room, chatting to Granddad while he waits his turn for the shower, even though you’re afraid he’s going to have to wait a little longer now that the boiler has to fill itself up again first. Ellie’s in the kitchen with you, sitting in her high chair and watching your every move intently as she munches on a breadstick.

“So,” you start, drawing out the word as you turn towards Michael who’s on your left, cutting up some toast to go with the vegetable soup that’s almost ready, “Daniel tells me you guys work out every day from nine to twelve. Is that true?”

Michael nods, “Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“I know it sounds like a lot but we also include yoga and meditation and-”

‘Oh, ok.”

Michael throws you a cheeky smile then, “If you want to you could join us tomo-”

“Hahaha,” you reply with a fake laugh. “No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Bummer,” he shoots back with a grin. “Might have been nice for Dan to have someone to show off to. It would definitely help with the whining.”

You can’t help but laugh but before you can say anything a rather bewildered looking Blake walks into the kitchen, his hair sticking up in every direction and a red colour on his cheeks that you know isn’t because he’s nice and toasty. “Here,” you tell him as you hand him a cup of coffee, “this should warm you up.”

He lets out a ragged breath, “Turns out cold water is really cold. Jeepers.”

“I’m so sorry,” you say, putting your hand on his arm. “I could make you a hot water bottle if you want? Help you warm up a little?”

“Nah, that’s ok. I’ll just sit here for a while,” he replies, nodding to a chair next to the wood stove that’s been burning ever since you got back.

“I’ll go see what Daniel and Granddad are up to,” you tell Blake and Michael, “I think the soup’s almost ready and the lasagne should be done soon too, so-”

“I’ll set the table,” Michael offers. He points at the kitchen cabinets, “Is it ok if I just open them and see what I can find?”

“I’m not hiding any secrets in my kitchen cabinets, Michael,” you shoot back with a laugh. “Have at it.” You find Granddad and Daniel gossiping about Mrs Mackenzie's supposed date with Mr Maxwell last week and so you gently flick Daniel’s shoulder, “Oi, you two. It sounds like Soap Opera’s Digest in here.”

“This is important information, ok,” Daniel shoots back with a grin as he looks up at you. “The last I heard Mrs Mackenzie was still dating Kevin Holmes from down the road, so-”

“That ended months ago,” Granddad adds, leaning closer to Daniel. “Apparently he ran off with Mrs Clement.”

“The dentist’s wife?” Daniel seems shocked, “Did their divorce go through already? That’s quick.”

Granddad shakes his head, looking awfully pleased with himself, “It didn’t.”

Daniel gasps, clutching his chain necklace for full effect, “No!”

“Yes,” Granddad nods. “I think old Kevin will have to find himself another dentist.”

“While this has all been very entertaining,” you interrupt with a hand on Daniel’s shoulder, to keep him from saying anything else, “I came to tell you that dinner’s almost ready.” You look at Daniel, “We can wait if you want to take a shower first, I think the boiler should be full in another fifteen minutes or so.”

“Nah,” Daniel shakes his head, “I’ll shower after. It’s fine. I’m not that cold anymore anyway.”

“Alright, let’s go eat then.”

Dinner is- It’s fun. Granddad’s sitting at the head of the table, with you, Ellie and Daniel on one side and Blake and Michael on the other. Blake and Granddad are discussing the Manchester United game from last week while Michael keeps making faces at Ellie, who’s giggles fill the kitchen at steady intervals, while Daniel keeps feeding her pieces of his lasagne.

By the time everyone’s plates are empty, Ellie’s giggles have turned to yawns and so you get up and pick her up out of her high chair, “I’ll go put this one to bed, it’s been a long day for her.”

Ellie’s not too tired to insist on saying goodnight to everyone and so she gets passed from Granddad to Blake to Michael to Daniel for a goodnight hug before she’s returned into your arms and Michael tells you they’ll take care of the dishes in the meantime.

“Come on, bub,” you tell her as you head upstairs. “Let’s go see if Mr Koala’s waiting for you.”

Ellie’s asleep before you even make it to her bedroom and you figure there’s no harm done in skipping brushing her teeth for once, instead gently lying her down in her cot, pressing a kiss to her forehead before you quietly whisper, “Goodnight my sweet girl. Momma loves you very much.”

When you get back downstairs the kitchen is spotless and you can see Blake drying the last of the dishes while Michael wipes the counter clean and then Daniel steps into view, “We’ll check up on the girls before we head home, ok?”

You start to protest, “Daniel-”

“Nope,” he counters with a smile “You stay here. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

You smile at him, “Yep.”

Daniel waits until Blake and Michael have said their goodbyes and made it past him to the mud room before he takes a step forward and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, "I'll text you the address when I get home, ok?"

"You do that," you tell him, your voice barely above a whisper because God, you really want to kiss him.

***

“Watch out for that brown one,” Daniel tells Michael with a nod towards Betsy, “she bites.”

“Good to know, mate.”

Daniel chuckles, “The white one is alright, you can pet her if you want.”

“Yeah, nah, I’m good,” Michael shoots back with a grin, focusing instead of filling the feeder with the bucket of grains Daniel handed him earlier. He clears his throat then, “So tell me again how we ended up here? Offering to check up on some spooked Alpacas? You playing house with Oscar’s granddaughter wasn’t exactly on my bingo card for this year, mate.”

Daniel laughs, “Wasn’t on mine either to be honest, but-”

“But?”

“I don’t know,” Daniel offers with a shrug. “I like it.” He corrects himself then, “I like her. A lot. So-”

“Daniel,” Michael starts, hesitating a little then, which tells Daniel his best friend is going to say something serious and maybe important. “You know I’ve always got your best interest at heart, right?” Michael waits for Daniel to nod before he takes a deep breath and continues, “You’ve got a lot going on right now and I don’t know if this is-” He holds up his hand when Daniel wants to interrupt, “I’m worried it’s going to cloud your judgement, ok? I can tell you like her very much and I haven’t seen you this settled-” he air-quotes the word, “-in a long time but you’ve only known her for what? A week-and-a-half? You’ve been in this sport for much longer than that, don’t-”

“I won’t,” Daniel says, trying his hardest to keep his voice neutral and not make it sound like he��s defending himself. He knows Michael’s right, of course he does. After all, he came to the same conclusion earlier today. Yes, he likes her, and yes, he would like to see where this goes, but he also knows it wouldn’t be fair to her or himself to take that into consideration when it comes to his future in Formula One. He looks up at Michael then, “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, right?

“Maybe you should talk to her before you leave,” Michael offers with a kind smile. “Just to see where you both stand and to make sure you go into this with the same expectations, you know?”

“Yeah,” Daniel rubs his face. “Yeah, I should.”

Blake walks into the shed then, soaking wet and looking as miserable as ever, “So I checked the fence-.”

“Uhu,”

“-and it’s still standing.” Blake deadpans with a blank stare.

Daniel chuckles, “Thanks, mate. Let’s go home, eh?”

#Daniel Ricciardo #F1 Fanfic #Daniel Ricciardo x reader #F1 Imagine #DR3 #Harley Sunday x Daniel Ricciardo #Feels Like Home

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brewsterispunkk · 4 months

Text

diamonds and stones, part one

pairing: clyde logan x f!reader (no use of y/n)

WC: 9k(!!)

summary: reader returns home & encounters some ghosts from her past.

warnings: 18+! language, mentions of war, amputation.

a/n: it's here!! i hope y'all enjoy this long ass chapter (this is so long its embarrassing LOL). there's some time skipping/flashbacks here so i hope it's not too hard to follow! as always, any feedback is appreciated :)

series masterlist

ONE

The phone had barely rung two times before you answered, thumb punching the accept call button as soon as you glanced at the caller ID. Pulling the phone up to your ear, you looked ahead at the cornfields and the open road in front of you. Your mom’s crackly voice filled your ears.

“Darlin’,” she sighed on the other end. So, she’d gotten your message.You thought to yourself.

Mentally, you kicked yourself for giving her any notice in the first place. You knew she’d try to talk you out of it, like she had successfully done the previous two times you’d tried moving back home.

“You got out, honey.” she’d say. “You got to do what I never did. You went to college, you got your degree, you moved to the city. Don’t throw that away. There ain’t nothin’ for you here.”

You hated that she referred to your hometown like that, the place that raised you: a place to get out of. Sometimes you missed it like you missed a limb.

And after your Gramma’s first stroke it had worked, no matter how guilty you felt for being states away while she recovered.

It had been a minor stroke, the summer before your junior year of college. Not fatal, or with too many lasting health complications, but it had been enough to scare you. It had been enough to scare you into almost dropping out of college and moving home, but your mother and grandmother had insisted that you go back after she’d begun the road to recovery.

Of course, that wasn’t the only reason you decided to go back, a small voice in the back of your head whispered.

Two dark brown eyes danced in your mind's eye; freckles scattered sparsely across tan cheeks, a rumble of a laugh, the crackle of a tape on an old car radio. You dispelled it before you allowed your mind to wander further.

That’s in the past, you insisted, chastising that quiet voice trying to bring up old ghosts.

You wouldn’t let your mind go there again. He left, you reminded yourself, instead resolving to focus on the road in front of you, and the nagging voice of your mother in your ear.

She sighed your name.

“I told you not to come, honey. This is the whole reason we waited so long to tell you–”

“I’m already on the road, mom.” You interrupted her. “I moved out earlier this week, and I’m already on my way home. No use in trying to change my mind on this when it’s already done.”

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you were met with radio silence; Your mother was speechless. There’s a beat of silence before she speaks again. Secretly, inside you’re smug. You’ve managed to outsmart her.

“You’re on the road right now?” She asked in that familiar disapproving short tone.

“As we speak,” you shifted, holding the wheel with one hand and slouching in your seat. Your mother sighed again.

“Stop that,” she said, displeasure evident in her voice.

“Stop what, mama? Driving?”

“Stop sounding so smug,” She scolded in that tone that all mothers have perfected, before addressing you by your full name. “This is gonna upset your Gramma. The last thing she wanted was you putin’ your whole life on hold for this.”

“‘For this?’” You asked in disbelief. “Mama, I can’t believe you waited more than a whole month to tell me the cancer was back in the first place! As if it was none of my business!”

You could practically hear her eye-roll through the phone.

“Now don’t be ridiculous.” She simpered. “We didn’t wanna upset you is all. And we certainly didn’t want you doin’ something so rash, like this.”

You rolled your eyes. This woman was impossible.

“Mom, I’d been considering leaving for a long time. My lease was up, Carla got married. This was just the final nail in the coffin. It was a long time comin’.”

“But you seemed so happy, baby.” she cooed.

“I don’t care! I deserve to know if my grandma is dying or not, and you have no right to keep it from me!”

You were met with silence. It was your turn to sigh.

“I’m sorry,” she conceded softly. “I shouldn’t have kept it from you. I was just scared of something like this happening. You can’t expect me to believe that this whole thing didn’t cause you to up and move home out of the blue.”

“I know, mama, but it’s the truth.” You paused, before continuing, “I put in my notice weeks ago. I’ve missed home. A lot. The city is…so loud. And there are no mountains near Chicago. The land is so flat, and–”

“I know baby, I know.” You could hear her shuffling around on the other end of the line.

She was no doubt calling from the landline in the kitchen at the old house. Thinking of it, your heart yearned. You missed it so much.

“It’s just that this was your dream, baby. And I just know your Gramma’s gonna blame herself for you giving that up.”

“Mom, I’m not giving anything up,” you emphasized the last part, trying to get it through her head. “I still have my dreams, Chicago just wasn’t it. It took me a while to realize that, but I have. And I have no idea where I wanna go or what I wanna do next, but I do know that I miss home. I was planning on coming back even before I found out.”

“Alright,” she began, but you wouldn’t let her continue. You needed to get this out.

“And, that combined with the fact that Gramma’s cancer is back means there’s nothin’ you can do to stop me.”

“Alright,” she sighed on the other line. “I suppose there’s nothin’ I can do about it now. How did you find out in the first place? You never mentioned in that hysterical voicemail you left–”

“I had reason to be hysterical, don’t you think? Findin’ out from Jimmy Logan and all.”

“Jimmy Logan?” she asked in surprise. “Now what were you doin’ talkin’ to him? Did he finally buck up and get a cell phone?”

“Yes, he did,” you chuckled, “Mellie finally convinced him. Anyway, after she helped him get his contacts in order, the first thing he did was give me a ring, saying how sorry he was to hear about Gramma bein’ sick again.”

“But how? I didn’t even tell Jimmy Logan. The only people we told were the ladies in prayer group.”

You laughed.

“Oh, you know how word gets around. Jimmy heard it from Earl at the hardware store, who heard it from Irene, who heard it from her momma, who, if I’m not mistaken, is in your prayer group.”

“Well,” your mother huffed. “I suppose that is how it goes. I’ll tell you one thing, your Gramma will be happy to see you, no matter the circumstance.”

“I know,” you sighed, glad that the air was at least a little cleared between you. You were still hurt that she’d kept something as important as your Gramma’s illness from you, but you understood where she was coming from. She just wanted what was best for you, wanted you to have everything she didn’t.

“Speaking of them Logans,” your mom said. “Have you told her you’re coming home?”

You laughed into the phone.

“Yes, Mellie knows I’m coming home.” You were surprised that she’d even assumed you hadn’t told the youngest Logan about your returning. She’d kill you if you didn’t.

“Good. I know she’s missed you. Last week while she was doin’ my hair, she told me a girl’s weekend every few months and a phone call just wasn’t cutting it.”

Mellie’s face flashed in your mind, and the feeling of dread at returning home started to dissipate. She had that effect on you; Ever since you met nearly 20 years earlier. You smiled, as your mind drifted back to then.

1995

You’d never imagined coming to a new school would ever be this hard. You’d expected it to be like how you’d seen it happen in TV shows or books or those kids movies you liked so much; Where after a rocky start with school bullies, the new kid fell in with the perfect group of friends and everything was fine. That was what you’d anticipated: The melodrama, the excitement. What you hadn’t expected was the monotony and loneliness.

Entering the third grade in october–two and a half months into the term–was never easy. At least that’s what your grandma had told you, and her being your grandma, you were inclined to believe her.

“It’s not gonna be easy,” she’d told you. “And kids can be real mean, darlin’. Especially when you’re new and they don’t know you. But, you just show them how kind, and special, and smart, and funny you are, and you won't have no problem fittin’ in.”

And you’d expected it to be that easy. Boy were you wrong.

On your first day at Daniel Boone Elementary, you’d expected to be met with a little wariness (what with being the new kid and all), but had hoped, in the end, to make at least one new friend to tell your mom and grandma about when you got off the bus and went home. Instead, you got the usual strange introduction to the class by your new teacher, and that was that. No kids even came up to talk to you. You ate your PB&J sandwich alone at lunch, and spent recess alone on the swings.

The following months went by in a similar manner: no new friends in sight. All the girls in your class were either too preoccupied with your hand-me-down clothes to play with you, or too shy to. And the boys wanted nothing to do with the weird new girl with too-knobby knees and too-big teeth because even if you liked the exact same things as them, you were still a girl, which meant you had cooties.

So, at home you’d drift away and pass your time the only time you knew how: through stories. Whether it be babysitters’ club books or PBS kids documentaries on your grandma’s old box TV, your head was always in the clouds. You’d be cryptic when your grandma or mom would ask about school, and they’d begun to notice. Before the snow came and the world froze over for winter, you’d also begun to explore the property behind your grandma’s house, getting lost in nature as you used to.

By spring, your grandma was at a standstill.

The snow was thawing, and after a winter indoors, she was at her wits end. She could recognize a depressive episode when she saw one, and the fact that she was seeing it in you, her eight-year-old granddaughter, made her heart break all the more.

She had been just about ready to call an intervention with the school’s principal and psychologist when it happened. You met the person who would change your life.

You’d met Mellie Logan once before, roughly a month after your arrival in Boone County, when you were still new enough to be considered the least bit interesting at Daniel Boone Elementary. She was a year older than you and about a head shorter, with the same shade of rich brown hair as the older boy you’d recognized her sit with on the bus; Her brother, Jimmy Logan who was a middle schooler, but not the least bit embarrassed to sit by his little sister on the ride home, tugging playfully on her braids. She was in Ms. Granfell’s class down the hall, with whom your class shared a recess and lunch time, along with some of the 6th graders.

It had been on the bus that you’d had your brief first encounter with Mellie Logan. She and about five other kids got off a few stops before yours, down Elm street, and rather than the fact that she had one older brother, that was about all you knew about the girl, and that was all the thought you’d given to her.

The encounter was a small one: your backpack had been in the aisle as the kids filed in from the school at the end of a school-day in early November and she’d muttered a quiet “pardon me,” as she passed you to her usual seat at the back of the bus where her brother was already seated, and that was that. You barely knew her.

Now, though, as you sat in the school principal’s office, bright fluorescent lights shining over the deep mahogany desk, you felt that all of that was going to change. Mellie sat beside you, eyebrows knit together obstinately as she stared directly ahead of her at the clock on the opposite wall, frowning.

It read: 1:23. You sighed.

That meant that you were missing library time with the rest of your class while being holed up in here, waiting while the principal made calls to each of your parents that they had to come pick you up and discuss the incident.

Your stomach sunk in annoyance as you crossed your arms and slumped down further into the armchair next to Mellie.

Great, now they have even more of a reason to think I’m weird, you thought. That was the last thing you needed. You were already having a hard time fitting in in the first place, with girls like Heather Campbell making faces at you and snickering when it was your turn to answer a question or read aloud to the class. You didn’t need to be known as the weird new girl who’d also gotten into a fight with a sixth grader.

You groaned in realization that that was exactly what you’d be known as from now on. You ran a hand over your face. And just wait until your mom found out, until your Gramma found out. Your life was over.

At that, Mellie looked over at you, her formerly sour expression turned questioning at your sudden outburst.

“What’s the matter with you?” she asked, moving to sit on her hands. Her legs were swinging back and forth off of the edge of the seat of the chair. She looked more bored than anything else, which was wild to you, considering the insane amount of trouble you both were about to be in the moment your parents walked through that door.

You looked at her like she was insane, her freckled face a picture of nonchalance, and sighed. Your heart was at the pit of your stomach as you watched the small round clock tick by, each second drawing closer to what was bound to be the end of your eight years on this planet.

You hadn’t intended to get involved. You really hadn’t. But when you’d seen the trampled, embarrassed look in his deep brown eyes, you didn’t know what else you could do.

It was, surprisingly, not in your nature to be confrontational at this point in your life. Though you’d later grow to be quite the headstrong person, the years spent walking around on eggshells with Keith had taken a toll on your personality. You liked to avoid conflict with even your family, nevertheless with the mean fourth graders you’d always hear snickering at people during lunchtime. But when you’d heard them picking on the lanky boy with messy dark hair something within you had snapped.

It was breakfast for lunch day, aka: the best day of the week, and when the bell rang signaling the beginning of lunchtime you moved as fast as your legs could carry you to the cafeteria.

You stepped into the line behind a tall, lanky boy who had to be at least a few years older than you. You recognized him from your bus; He lived on the same street as Mellie and her brother, and like you, always sat by himself on the bus. You thought that he was probably the only kid who was as quiet as you. In fact, you weren’t sure you’d ever even heard the stoic boy utter a word in the month and a half you’d spent riding home with him. His face always seemed to stay the same too, you’d noticed.

Not that you’d been watching him, you corrected yourself.

Right now, though, the boy smiled at you as you came up behind him. A tight-lipped, shy one at that, but his dark eyes shone with genuine kindness that you were almost too flustered to know what to do. Such kindness, even small ones like this, had been few and far between in your time in Boone County. It’d been lonely, and this little boy’s smile made it feel a little less so. A part of you wondered if this town had been similarly lonely for him too. You smiled back.

The sound of giggling broke you from your blatant staring at the boy in front of you. Two girls had entered the line behind you. You didn’t know their names, but you recognized them from the time you had spent people-watching during your month or so of eating alone. The taller one was blonde, with long straight hair and thick braces covering her teeth as she smiled right past you and to the boy standing in front of you. Her counterpart was shorter and a bit stouter, with short pin-curls that practically stuck to her hair. Your stomach dropped as you took in the looks on both of their faces. Their smiles were anything but kind as they looked right through and onto the boy who was oblivious to what was coming.

You weren’t though. Just last week, you’d seen the pair of girls push a little girl in your class off of the monkey bars for “taking their spot,” when you knew for a fact that that girl had been there for all of recess already. Before that, you’d seen them ridicule another girl for her new haircut that had come out much shorter than expected until she cried. These were two girls you knew not to cross, and here they were, sights set on the boy in front of you whose name you didn't even know. And you were caught in the middle of it.

“Uhm, excuse me?” The blonde girl asked, reaching across you and tapping the boy on the shoulder. Her face was twisted in barely held-in laughter, while beside her, her friend’s face held an identical.

The boy turned, eyes wide and curious. Kind. Unaware of exactly how nasty these two could be.

“Y-yeah?” He asked, voice cracking when he stuttered. The blonde looked over to her friend and then back at him.

“Your name’s Clyde, right?” She asked, head tilting.

“Uhm, yeah, tha’s right.” He smiled, bashful. Ears twinged red.

Clyde. That was the boy’s name. It fit him, you thought.

Her friend popped in. “Say, ain’t you a Logan?” She asked, face spread in what seemed like a kind smile.

Something you didn’t buy. You thought as you grabbed an orange from the selection of fruit.

“Yes ma’am,” he said, moving down the line. He picked up a strawberry milk carton before moving further down where the french toast sticks were. You continued to eavesdrop, feeling the most awkward you had in a while as the conversation continued with you, quite literally, in the middle of it.

“Well, Clyde Logan,” the blonde continued, reaching for an identical carton of strawberry milk. Her face was smug. “There’s something Quinn and I have been meaning to ask you for a while now.”

“What’s that?” he asked, curious. He looked at her, eyes open and welcoming and you dreaded the next words that were going to come out of her mouth. It wasn’t gonna be good.

“We were just wondering,” she snorted halfway through, hand coming to her mouth. “Sorry, we were just wondering if you’d done something to upset your momma?”

He chuckled awkwardly, obviously confused, and flicked some dark hair behind his ear. “Pardon me?” he asked, brows furrowed.

“Oh, nothin’. It’s just you had to have done something to have earned a haircut like that.”

Beside her, her friend had given up on controlling her laughter. Wheezing, her friend–Quinn–interjected.

“Or maybe your hairdresser hates you? What did you do to make someone let you walk out of the house like that?” She giggled.

“Don’t be silly, Quinn. The Logans can’t afford a hairdresser. It had to have been his momma. I mean, really Clyde, you had to have done somethin’ bad.” The blonde chimed in again.

“Although, maybe it’s not the haircut, Heather.” Quinn piped in casually, serving herself french toast. “That’s not fair to his momma. It’s those ears. They stick out like a sore thumb.”

“Mhm,” the blonde, heather, nodded. “I think you’re right. And his nose. It's so big. That’s what makes you so unfortunate looking. Not the hair at all.”

Clyde looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Surprise coloring his features, the smallest frown upon his lips.

“Or , you know what,” Heather considered, piling bacon onto her lunch tray. “It’s probably that curse your sister wouldn’t shut up about last year. What’d she call it?”

“The Logan Family Curse.” Quinn chimed in. Heather laughed.

“That must be it!” She giggled in that snotty, preteen way. “Who knew that the Logan family curse was being cursed with bein’ uglier than a mud fence!”

“Or having ears the size of Dumbo’s.”

Looking over at Clyde, you saw his eyes glassy with unshed tears as he looked down at his lunch tray. Crestfallen. It sent white hot anger surging through your chest, and before you could register it, you were turning to face the two girls beside you in line.

“Just because he has straight teeth and you don’t doesn’t mean you have to be mean.” You glared at her. Her smug face morphed into one of anger as her eyes hardened into a glare.

“Excuse me?” she asked. Beside her, Quinn’s eyebrows rose to her hairline.

“You heard me, brace-face.” You stood your ground, glaring right back at her. She gasped at the insult, not ready for a taste of her own medicine. An identical look of horror crossed her companion’s face. From behind you, you heard a familiar high voice call out.

“Clyde? Where are you–” Mellie looked confused, her eyes following the lanky, dark-haired figure racing out of the cafeteria, leaving his lunch tray deserted in line next to you. Her gaze hardened as she looked over at you and the two girls in line. She stomped over, arms crossed.

“What did you say to him?” She demanded, looking between you three. When no one spoke up, she asked again, louder.

“What did you say to my brother?” She seethed. Heather looked at Quinn, an amused smirk on her face.

“Oh, you mean Dumbo?” She asked.

“Nothing–we just gave him some beauty advice,” Quinn descended into the same annoying laughter as her friend.

What happened next was a blur to you. There was a hand in someone’s hair, another pushing someone's shoulder, and the sound of a hand smacking against someone’s face. You were pushed backwards–by who, you didn’t know–and your half-full lunch tray came down on top of you, covering you in scrambled eggs and syrup. Heather screeched like a banshee, and Quinn started crying. A lunch monitor ran over to break it up, and before you knew it, Heather was being sent to the nurse and you and Mellie to the principal’s office.

Which brings you to now.

You sat, smelling of eggs and syrup, and waiting for your life to end. After a few minutes of silence, you looked to the scrappy, brooding girl next to you.

“Did you have to hit her?” You asked, breaking the silence. Scoffing, she turned to look at you.

“Uhm, yeah I had to hit her.” She spat out incredulously. “She was makin’ fun of my big brother. You don’t let people mess around with your kin.”

“But–” you began before she interrupted you, seemingly not hearing you at all. That was something you’d grow to find out was a habit of hers whenever she talked about something she was passionate about.

“And I’d do it again, too,” she said, stubbornly. “I don’t care what Mrs. Findlay says. If you ask me, Heather Campbell had it comin’ and needed to be knocked down a few pegs. I’m only sad I got caught.”

Her matter-of-fact made you giggle a little bit. After all, you couldn’t disagree with her; You’d seen Heather and Quinn unleash their wrath before. Many times in the short time you’d been in town. They needed to be put in their place. And you were glad you’d had at least a small part in doing it, even if it did put a target on your back and was bound to make your life hell indefinitely.

“I am sorry you got involved, though,” Mellie said. “It ain’t fair you got roped into all a’ my trouble-makin’.”

You chuckled a bit.

“Nah,” you sighed. “Before you walked up, I did say some pretty nasty things to them. I guess I deserved it.”

Mellie, looking surprised at that, snorted.

“You?” she asked, eyes wide in apparent disbelief. “You said somethin’ to Heather Campbell?”

“What's that supposed to mean?” you asked, brows furrowed. “And yes, I’ll have you know, I did say something to her.”

“Nothin’.” Mellie said, “it’s just that in all the time you’ve been here, I ain't heard you speak but about two times.”

“I couldn’t let her talk to him like that when he didn’t do nothin’ to deserve it.” You said. “Besides, I was tired of hearin’ her run her mouth all the time and no one sayin’ anything.”

“Well alrighty then.” She said.

A beat of silence passed, the only sound being the ticking of the clock. Then, “what did you say to her?”

You snorted.

“I called her brace-face.” You admitted sheepishly. Beside you, Mellie howled in laughter and after a moment, you joined her.

“You know,” she said pensively, smiling at you, all trace of a sour mood gone, “I think we’re gonna be good friends.”

You smiled back at her, the first real one in a while.

“Me too.” And you meant it.

Present Day

Your mother’s voice snapped you back to reality.

“And what about him?” she asked carefully, words thick with meaning. “Does he know you’re comin’ back?”

You sighed. “Mama, why would he know I’m coming back? Why would he care that I’m coming back?”

“Darlin’, I didn’t mean it like that–”

“He didn’t bother telling me when he came back. I had to find out from Mellie, a month after the fact.” You continued, that familiar white-hot feeling in your chest resurfacing. “Besides, I’m sure Mellie mentioned it to him. She’d have to if he’s gonna continue this disappearing act of his.”

“That’s not fair, baby, and you know it.” She scolded, ever the mother. It didn’t matter that you were twenty-five, she’d always put you in your place when it came down to it. “He’s been through a lot.”

“I’m sure he has,” you agreed half-heartedly.

“And–”

“--Not that I’d know about it! He hasn’t spoken so much as a word to me in years. Not for lack of trying on my part either, you know that mom.”

“I know, baby, I know,” she said. This was a conversation you’d had before. And no matter how many times you did, she’d always brought up the same points.

And now, Clyde Logan had been home for more than two years, but felt like a ghost. Your family hadn’t heard a thing from him. According to your cousin Zach, Jimmy had wanted to throw a coming-home party for him, but had canceled it last minute. You didn’t know what he was doing now.

You knew better than to ask Mellie about it. She was your best friend, yes, but you wouldn’t put her in that position. You wouldn’t make her choose sides or play middle-man between you and her brother. And she knew better than to bring it up with you, too. She saw her brother’s idiocy, and, more importantly, she saw how hurt you were after all that had happened.

So, Clyde generally wasn’t brought up between the two of you. Not in great detail, anyway. No matter how much you knew she had to reign herself in over it. Your best friend was a fixer at heart, and that instinct didn’t go away when it came to her best friend and her brother.

“Let’s just drop it, mom.” You said. “I am not coming home for Clyde Logan, of all people. I’m just happy to be coming home at all.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” she laughed lightly on the other end. “How far out are you?” she asked.

“I’m about halfway through Indiana right now.”

“Whew,” she whistled. “What a drive.”

You laughed at her sarcasm. “Oh yeah, nothin’ but cornfields for miles. That is somethin’ I won’t be missing, that’s for sure.”

“Good.” she said, “You’d better get a move-on if you wanna be home before dinner, then. I’ll call your cousins and see who can make it.”

Your heart leapt at the thought of it, seeing the family again. You’d missed living in the same county as them all; Not having to drive hours to hug your grandma, to hear your aunt Nikki’s laugh, or to engage in yet another political conversation with your uncle Mike.

“That sounds perfect.”

“Alright then. Your Gramma’s gonna be surprised, that’s for sure. And i’m warnin’ you now: She will not be as easily swayed as I am at your comin’ back.”

“Yeah, I know.” You shook your head. “I’ll start preparing my speech now.”

“You better!” She laughed, “I’m gonna let you go, babe. Call your aunts. Love you.”

“Love you too, momma.” You sighed, as the call ended.

The late May sun shone through the clouds, as you steered off of the freeway to continue south. Toward home.

- -

It was well past seven in the evening before everyone left your grandmother’s house—and, I guess, your house too, for now—for dinner.

It had worked: you’d made it home, finally, and even though your grandmother wasn’t happy with you for returning, she understood why. It’d been too long since you’d been home for more than a week or two. Even longer, if you didn’t count the summers you’d come home during college.

After Clyde had left for his third tour, things weren’t the same. You always hosted holidays after that, or visited your extended family in Charleston. You’d missed your hometown, yes. But the pain you felt at how you and Clyde left things hurt you more. Only now, after six months of therapy and the terrifying possibility that your grandmother was dying, did you feel even remotely comfortable enough to come back.

Now, after a long, loud meal with your extended family, you wondered why you’d left at all. The anxiety you’d felt driving into the county limits earlier that evening had dissipated. Home has a funny way of doing that: letting you ease right back in like you’d never left.

Your cousins were getting bigger—now nearly teenagers—and your aunts inquired about your personal life over dinner. Now, after the coffee had gone cold and your last relative had gone home, you helped your grandmother with the dishes—much to her chagrin.

Your grandmother was a kind woman, a gentle woman, but she was also a proud woman, and more stubborn than even you.

“Just because I’m sick doesn’t mean I’m inept, you know,” she slapped your hand away from where it had tried to venture into the soapy water of the sink.

You sighed. So she’s still mad.

“I know, Gramma,” you offered. “Just trying to help.”

She grumbled back, still focusing on scrubbing the plate in front of her.

You gave up, moving instead to dry and put away the dishes she’d washed. As you began, she didn’t so much as spare you a glance, just hummed under her breath.

The kitchen looked untouched from it had been growing up—the linoleum counters, tiled walls, and deep wood of the cabinets perpetually stuck in the 1970s. Some of the glassware your grandmother owned was from the seventies, or even before then, going back to when your mom and uncles were kids. You could tell from old family pictures that the house had changed little since they bought it in 1969. Even after so many years, your Gramma had refused to invest in a dishwasher, insisting on washing dishes by hand instead.

You took a ceramic plate from the drying rack, toweling it off before opening the cabinet to put it away. The cabinet door had the same creak it always did.

“You know,” you tossed over your shoulder at your grandmother. “I was planning on coming back for a while before I heard about the cancer.”

“That’s what you keep sayin’,” she mumbled. “I can see right through ya, though, darlin’. You think I haven’t noticed you haven’t been home in years?”

You bit your lip, trying to ignore the pang of guilt her words sent through you.

“I’m sorry about that, Gramma, I am—“

“Oh, hush,” she waved a suds-covered hand at you, still not turning around. “Long as I get to see you, I don’t care where it is. What I’m trying to say is: you certainly would not have come home had it not been for my diagnosis.”

You deflated a little; in a sense, she was right. You’d been considering returning before, that was true, but part of you deep down knew you wouldn’t have been successful if you hadn’t heard about her sickness.

“What I can’t live with is you giving up your dreams for an old woman like me.”

You scoffed at that, coming up behind her and wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

“Please,” you mumbled into the hug. “You couldn’t have kept me away. I would’ve found out at some point.”

She sighed, hugging you back and leaning into you.

“‘Suppose you’re right,” she acquiesced. “Doesn’t mean I’ve gotta be happy about it though.”

“That’s fair,” you chuckled, letting go and taking another plate from the drying rack. “But you can’t get mad at me. It should be me angry at you for keeping it from me for as long as you did.”

She turned to you then, wiping her wet hands off with a towel. There was a strange look in her eyes as she took you in, eyeing you head to toe. She snapped out of it after a moment and offered you a smile.

“Hm,” she hummed, bringing a weathered hand to cup your cheek. “I couldn’t stay angry at you even if I tried.”

You smiled cheekily at her.

“I know.”

“Hm,” she chuckled, pinching your cheek lightly and patting it. “Now let me finish these up. Mellie’ll be here soon and you haven’t even taken your suitcase up yet.”

You nodded and put the last plate away.

“I’ll turn the radio on for you,” you smiled. “It’s too quiet around here.”

“Alright sugar,” she tossed over her shoulder. “You won’t be sayin’ that come Monday. I’ve got your cousins after school most weekdays. And I thought you were a handful.”

You chuckled.

One thing about your family was true: none of you were boring—especially the little ones. They kept your grandmother on her toes.

“I’m looking forward to that,” you chuckled. That was another thing you regretted about moving so far away: not being there to watch your little cousins grow up.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” she said. “You might be reconsidering moving back after a few days.”

“Unlikely,” you snorted. “I’m hard to scare off. Well, now anyway.”

Your grandmother sent you a sympathetic smile then, and you knew she’d forgiven you. You twitched a little under her gaze. She almost looked like she pitied you. You understood if she did; she was the one to bear the brunt of your heartache when everything between you and Clyde had blown up. Still, it wasn’t a time you liked to dwell on.

“So, you think you’re finally over that Logan boy?” She asked, crossing her arms and facing you.

You sighed; it was just like your grandmother to not mince words or beat around the bush.

“Jesus, Gramma,” you raked a hand over your face.

“What?” she asked defensively. “Would you rather me tip-toe around you like everyone else? Your mama won’t ask, and you’ve banned Mellie from mentioning that boy.”

“So you thought you’d…” your words trailed off, not understanding exactly why she was bringing this up now.

“I thought I’d mention the elephant in the room. Call it curiosity, sugar,” she smirked at you. “I just figured that since he was the one that kept you away for so long—”

“Gramma, you know he’s not the only reason l left—”

“I know, I know,” she held up a hand to stop you. “But I remember how you were when you left. In the months before. Barely leaving the house, not talking to anyone. Whatever he did, it did a number on you. I don’t want you getting like that again—”

You softened. She was worried about you, of course she was. Your grandmother was nothing if not a mama bear.

“Trust me, Gramma. You do not have to worry Clyde Logan of all people. I’ve been over it for a while, I think. I’ll be okay.”

“Hm,” she scrutinized you through narrowed eyes, before nodding. “Alright. I won’t bring it up again.”

“Thanks, Gramma.”

“You ever gonna tell me all that happened with him?”

“Maybe one day,” you smiled at her sadly.

She nodded at you in understanding.

“Alright, babydoll. You go get ready.”

As you walked up the familiar steps to your childhood bedroom, listening to Patsy Cline drift through the old kitchen radio, you smiled to yourself at the familiarity of it all.

- -

“Trust me,” Camila grabbed your shoulder from the back of Mellie’s ‘85 silverado—her pride and joy and newest fixer upper. “This place is great, and it helps that we don’t have to drive all the way to Madison like we did back in the day.”

You snorted at how your friends were trying to sell you on this new dive bar. Where you’d wanted to go out in Madison like the old days, they’d insisted you stay local tonight.

You shifted in the denim cut-offs that Mellie had insisted you wear. You hadn’t worn them out since your senior year of college. Hell, you hadn’t been out since your senior year of college.

She’d showed up at your door at exactly eight o’clock on the dot, intent on getting you dolled up for a night out. Camila and Gwen, two of your best friends from high school, had shown up soon after. It was like old times—playing your old CDs, the smell of cheap perfume and hair-straighteners flooding your childhood bedroom. You couldn’t even bring yourself to be nervous about going out. Now, two hours later with a new outfit and your hair and makeup done to perfection, you were off to check out the newest haunt in town.

It’d been big news when the place had opened about nine months ago. It wasn’t every day that a new business opened in Logan, so obviously it was the talk of the town. Even you’d heard about it all the way in Chicago. Duck Tape was its name and it had been renovated into a bar from an old bait and tackle shop. And apparently, since its opening, it’d become a staple of your small community. You’d been promised that you’d run into at least five people from high school here, maybe more. It was also in the middle of nowhere.

“We’re basically driving the same distance, Cami.” You laughed. From beside you in the driver’s seat, Mellie smirked.

“Don’t rain on her parade.” She teased. “Cami’s just trying to explain away the real reason why she came here: she’s got it bad for the bouncer.”

Camila gasped and smacked Mellie’s shoulder.

“That isn’t it at all, Mellie Logan and you know it!”

“Mmhm,” Gwen nodded from the other side of her, very obviously not buying any of it. “It has nothing to do with the six-feet, tall, dark, and handsome bouncer. I believe you, Cami.”

You laughed at her sarcasm.

“I don’t know why you don’t put yourself out of your misery and just get his number,” Mellie asks from the front seat, looking at Cami through the rearview mirror.

“And risk rejection? Not a chance.”

You snorted at that, understanding completely. You’d had a few non-serious relationships here and there, but nothing that had stuck during your time in Chicago. And even then, they were alway the ones who had to make the first move.

“Wait, wait, wait,” you interrupted. “Since when do any of these places need bouncers?”

When you were in high school, it was a given that no one underage would even try to get into a bar in Logan. It would have been pointless: everybody knew everybody here, so even if you had the good sense to get a fake ID, you’d be at the sheriff’s station before you had time to order your first drink.

“Since these kids are gettin’ more and more ballsy,” Gwen answered you. “‘Bout a year ago coach Garrison’s kid got busted for drinking underage at Tulman’s. Ever since, they’ve been IDing at the door.”

Tulman’s was the other bar in town, nestled in the heart of downtown.

“I bet coach was pissed.”

“You have no idea,” Cami nodded, picking at her manicured nail. “Gave hell to the guy who owns the place. That’s just another reason why I like Duck Tape better.”

Gwen groaned from beside her. Mellie just laughed.

Mellie sighed beside you, reaching for the gear-shift. “Just ask him out. You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.”

“Oh please,” Cami laughed, speaking up over the sound of Garth Brooks’ voice coming from the speakers. “Stick to hairdressing, Mel. You’d make a shit motivational speaker.”

A chorus of laughs sounded as Mellie took a sharp turn off of the highway and onto the mountain road where the bar was.

This was so familiar: you and your girlfriends, all dressed up and piling into one car to go out as if you were somewhere glamorous like New York City and not in Boone County, West Virginia. The chatter of the girls around you was comforting, and you relished in it.

This, you thought. This is home.

- -

You dropped your glass when he walked in, brushing past the bouncer with a large hand on his shoulder. Your stomach dropped.

The glass shattered at your feet, sending cranberry juice and vodka splattering over your boots and calves. A few people surrounding you jumped as well, moving away from the shattered glass on the floor. Beside you, Camila started.

“Jesus,” she cried, grabbing your bare shoulder and looking at you. She was trying to get your attention, you knew, but you couldn’t bring your eyes away from the imposing figure of Clyde Logan, who just walked into the bar. “You okay? What—shit.”

She saw him too.

“Mellie,” you heard her whisper, trying to get the attention of your friend who was too-busy flirting with a man in a stetson beside you. Gwen was in the bathroom. “Mellie.”

He was tall—just as tall as he’d always been, but even more imposing. His shoulders stretched broadly across the dark blue button-up he had on. He wore worn blue jeans and work boots and still had that stiff, ramrod-straight posture that he’d come back from basic training with. You blinked.

He was here. He was here.

Even after years, he had an effect on you. You felt stuck to the floor, frozen in place as he made his way to the bar, his left side facing away from you. His dark hair was longer than you’d ever seen it, curling around his ears and down his neck thickly. You couldn’t tell much from the dim-lighting, but you could detect a bit of a stubble along his jaw and above his lip.

Lord have mercy, he was beautiful.

He was gorgeous–even more so than you remembered him. It made your chest ache.

“What?” Mellie turned to Cami, a flirty laugh in her voice.

“Look.”

There was a beat of silence before she spoke.

“Fuck.” Mellie spat. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. He said he wasn’t working tonight.”

You breathed in a ragged breath, everything feeling all of a sudden too much. The neon lights, the chatter of people from all sides of you invaded your senses. The early summer heat was cloying at your skin in the crowded bar. You felt boxed in on all sides.

“I’m just going to,” you mumbled, finally tearing your eyes away from Clyde, who was talking to the man behind the bar. You didn’t finish the sentence, instead electing to train your gaze on your boots and try to make your way to the bar door.

Behind you, you heard Mellie call your name. You ignored her, breathing deeply as you tried to navigate your way to the door.

Air, you told yourself. I need some air. Then I’ll be fine.

You tried to push yourself past a particularly large group, squeezing between two peoples’ backs. One of them moved backwards, their foot moving to step in front of yours.

Your boot caught on the foot, and you tumbled forward, losing your balance.

You tripped, scrambling, reaching out with your arms to break your fall as you tumbled.

Only, instead of continuing to fall to the ground, you stumbled into something. Or rather, someone.

Your hands landed on a broad chest, and you felt an arm snake its way around your middle, attempting to steady you. You let out a breath, finding your footing.

You brought your gaze up, an apology on your lips.

“Shit,” you mumbled, pulling your hands back from the stranger’s chest frantically. “I’m sorry—”

Brown eyes stared back at you, brows drawn together and full of confusion. Freckles scattered familiarly across his cheekbones and his lips parted as he looked at you.

Clyde.

You took a large step back, away from him, nearly stumbling again. He looked nearly as shocked as you felt, wide eyes taking you in from head to toe. After all, it had been over two years since you’d seen each other.

You did the same—eyes moving down his thick neck, his broad shoulders, down his chest. He was still so much taller than you.

This was all too much.

You could feel the panic setting back in your bones, and you blinked rapidly, moving to shove past him to the door, your legs carrying you before your mind could catch up.

When you did, he snapped out of it, moving to the side to block you and shoulder-checking you in the process. When he did, something firm and stiff—foreign—jabbed into your stomach, causing you to jerk away, even more past him.

Your brows furrowed in confusion, and you turned to see—

What you saw made the breath leave your chest.

There, strapped to what remained of Clyde’s arm was a prosthetic.

- -

Tears fell thick and hot down your cheeks as you rested your face between your knees on the side of the dingy bar. The rough wood of the paneling on the outside of the bar dug into your back through the thin shirt Mellie had convinced you to wear, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your mind was elsewhere.

Gone. Clyde’s left arm was gone–or at least part of it was.

Hurt flooded your chest at the thought of it; your once-best friend returning home from war, part of him missing, alone, and you weren’t there. He’d had to do it alone.

Another wave of tears came.

How could you not have known?

Everyone knew everything about everyone in Logan. It was the way of things and it always had been. It was how you’d found out about your Gramma’s illness, it was how word had spread like wildfire when Mellie’s boyfriend in tenth grade cheated on her, and it was how the whole town knew Bobbie Jo was pregnant with Sadie before Jimmy did. But this.

It struck you all at once; everyone knew. Of course everyone knew. Camila, Gwen, Mellie. Your mother. They all had known and still didn’t tell you.

You felt like someone had torn your heart from your chest.

The sound of gravel crunching under boots tore your gaze up. You knew who it was before he called your name. You’d know the sound of his step anywhere.

Clyde Logan walked toward you, arms clasped behind his back, dark eyes wary. He always looked like this when he was nervous. Even now, you couldn’t believe he was standing before you after so long. Even now, you couldn’t contain the slow simmer of anger that flared in your gut at the sight of him.

He stood there a minute, eyes on yours, before he cleared his throat.

“How…uh, how long you been back?” He offered softly, eyes never once leaving yours.

The slow simmer in your gut reached a boil. You stood to your feet, lip curling at him. You didn’t care enough to wipe your face of tears.

“Really?” You asked harshly, voice slightly raised. Clyde flinched at your tone. “That’s what you have to say to me Clyde Logan—after three years?”

Clyde bit his lip and looked down. He sighed.

“Junebug—-”

“Do not,” you hissed at him, glaring up at his pained expression. “You do not get to call me that anymore.”

He just stared at you, a pained expression on his face.

It didn't surprise you—Clyde had never had a way with words. Even as kids, even as best friends, it had been hard for him to express himself. He was quiet. Now was no exception.

“Did you get my letters?” You hated that your voice warbled.

Clyde’s eyes fell to his boots and you knew the answer from the guilty expression that crossed his face.

You scoffed, even more anger bubbling inside you at the confirmation.

After the fight—the one that sent you packing, right before his third deployment, you’d written him. Countless times, apologizing, explaining yourself, begging him for a response, anything. And you’d never heard anything back.

“I wrote you for months, Clyde.” You said, voice softer now. “When you were over there, I had to get updates from Mellie. Or from my mom, because you wouldn’t write me back. You wouldn’t answer my calls. I didn’t know if you were hurt, or if you—”

You stopped yourself, sniffing.

You stared at his prosthetic arm, finally able to get a better look at it.

It began just under his elbow, strapped on there to give the illusion of a full-limb. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from it.

“Ugly, ain’t it?” He asked, noting how your stare held there. Your eyes snapped to his.

You scoffed, ignoring him and looking away.

“I didn’t say that,” you muttered, drying your face with your palm.

“I told Mellie not to tell you,” he blurted. “After. Made her swear not to. Don’t be mad at her.”

You sighed.

You weren’t angry at her; you couldn’t be. Shortly after you’d realized he wanted nothing to do with you, you’d made any talk of Clyde strictly off-limits in your friendship. Even if she’d wanted to tell you, it was off limits. That was not the case, however, with your own family.

You’d be having words with your mother and grandmother when you returned home.

“My relationship with Mellie is none of your business,” you glared up at him. “It hasn’t been for a long time.”

Clyde scoffed now, the soft, reserved look gone from his eyes and replaced by annoyance.

“What?” you asked. “You got something to say? Say it.”

“Fine,” he barked. “Three years and you haven’t changed a bit.”

Oh, so he was pulling that card, you thought, thinking back to your last argument. You laughed humorlessly.

“Oh, I haven’t changed?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. “At least I had the balls to come back! At least I’m not a coward like you—”

“Coward?” He asked, voice low.

“You heard me.” You spat, voice warbling again with anger. You hated that you got like this; whenever you were angry, you’d cry. “At least I have the stones to face my mistakes. I don’t run away from them, Clyde.”

With that you walked away, leaving him standing there in the gravel of the Duck Tape parking lot.

He made no move to follow you, thank god.

You decided to call it a night, knowing any chance of letting loose was long gone. Though you weren’t angry with her, you didn’t think you could face Mellie or the girls again tonight. You pulled your cell phone from your bag and sent a quick text to the group chat, telling them you’d decided to head home. You sent a separate one to Mellie, telling her you weren’t mad at her but you needed some time.

You walked back to the front of the bar, leaning on the wood of the front railing, and stared at the phone screen. Your mother and grandmother would be asleep by now, and even if they weren’t, you weren’t sure you wanted to see them anyway. You could always call your cousins—but doing that would open up the door to countless questions and speculations at why you were leaving Duck Tape looking an emotional wreck.

Then, it hit you.

You found the contact easily and hit call; there was one person who you knew you could call whenever, wherever to come get you, no questions asked. You just hoped he was up.

#logan lucky #clyde logan #clyde x reader #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan fluff #clyde logan fanfiction #clyde logan x female reader #clyde logan x you #logan lucky fanfiction #mellie logan #jimmy logan #adcu #adcu fanfiction #adam driver fanfic #adam driver #diamonds and stones

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raspbeyes · 8 months

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Alright imma say it

It totally makes sense why everyone would be more upset over Kaito's death than Kokichi

Idk why theres this sentiment that Kokichi's desth was unfairly overshadowed by Kaito BUT YEAH NO HARD DISAGREE literally none of those remaining classmates would have any reason to show compassion for kokichi over kaito

Shuichi: as he is mc/player character his perspective matters most, so ill say the most on him. Sorry to saiouma fans (dw i do think the ship is cute but honestly works better under different circumstances for the two) but Shuichi has spent more time with kaito. After Kaede's death, it is Kaito (in Kaito's questionable way) who helped get Shuichi's willpower back. Kokichi says as much in ch 4. With shuichi being a very sensitive detective, he needed that pillar of support from kaito, one kokichi, while providing help in trials, doesnt give emotionally. Sure u can argue bias on Shuichi's part, but it is Kokichi's plot in ch 4 that caused him and Kaito to have a falling out, injured and captured Kaito in a bunker, and is the reason Kaito becomes the blackened Shuichi is forced to exposed and now watch be executed

Maki: Self explanatory af, but kokichi exposed her talent to everyone to have her be isolated due to kokichi's own distaste for murderers, regardless of maki's intent. Kokichi is the one who fucked around in ch 5 with her feelings, making her harbor guilt over supposedly killing kaito. It's his plot that gets Kaito killed off as blackened so yeah dont expect sympathy from her

Tsumugi: while idk if confirmed whether Kokichi had gone off Tsumugi's script, if that is the case, Tsumugi would 100% frustrated for kokichi messing up her plotline. Shes devoted her life to dr and has been a writer in numerous prior seasons. To have some kid try to attack the mastermind directly by messing with the game would to her feel like infringing on the game's intended entertainment. Besides, if everyone else hates kokichi, it's best for her to go along with it to blend in

Himiko: there def is a weird dynamic between the two, with himiko falling for exisal kokichi twice which is weird ... but yeah no overall himiko has a negative opinion of kokichi. While he did indirectly help her releasing her bottled up emotions in the end of ch 3, it's Kokichi’s way of doing things, meaning it usually comes off as rude. Pretty sure what Kokichi (and Gonta to an extent) caused in ch 4 is unforgivable for himiko, since literally everyone liked Gonta. Himiko out of everyone believed kokichi was the mastermind, feeling great despair once he revealed the truth of the outside world. While not specific, himiko is more of a case of kokichi's general creation of distrust in others. In contrast, kaito is uplifitng to himiko, being the one to defend her in ch 3 when tenko's death was ignored and moving the group along during ch 5.

Keebo: keebo admittedly has the most sympathetic view of kokichi after the trial, alluding to his "hopeful" nature and such, as well as his logical understanding of kokichi's motive. But generally, kokichi is just robophobic to keebo for the sake of pestering keebo, as well as asking invasive questions (do robots have di-?)

Kaito: without getting into kaito and kokichi's relationship/rivalry, kaito id argue does have the second most sympathetic reflection on kokichi, providing the group with Kokichi’s last words. Tho he does doubt them, mentioning he believed kokichi's plan wouldnt work (i personally hc that as just bluff to make shuichi feel better tho). And since its kokichi who blackmailed him into the plan, kokichi is in a sense responsible for Kaito's death so he'd probably wanna focus on making Shuichi and Maki feel better

Kokichi is my fav dr character but ngl he's a little shit to the remaining survivors. While i as an audience memebr feel terrible for him, im not upset or shocked by the characters' disinterest in his death

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 shuichi #drv3 kaito #kokichi oma #drv3 kokichi #drv3 maki #drv3

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zombiezomm · 2 years

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Here i go again chasing after another girl who im almost positive is fucking with me. why. why do i keep doing this to myself. why am i even mad? shes not even mine. why do i get so enraged when i see other comments on your videos. why do i get so upset when my texts go hours with no response. why am i trying to make myself believe we could actually work. i have no right to be upset over you. you arent mine. as much as i want you to be. as much as i crave your attention im not entitled to it. and you arent obligated to do anything for me. maybe thats why im so stuck in my head. because i know im not the only one pursuing you. you can be ripped away from me at any given moment by someone who is available. im in a 7 year relationship and almost 2,000 miles away from you. why am i trying to pursue this. ive been through this before. idk if ill make it out entirely the same again. but something keeps pushing me toward you. its like you sense all of my anxiety and just know when to text me right before i do something ill regret. i never want to lose what we have. and i contemplate ways to make us happen everyday. Something is really different this time. ive had plenty of girls walk into my life over the years that i felt like i needed to chase. most of it was for sex. others were for something i wasnt getting at home. but you, you came when nothing was wrong in my life. my relationship was stable. i was doing things right. and then you show back up in my life after 12+ years and suddenly your all i think about. suddenly your all that matters. your happiness is like gold and your smile is worth millions. your the one on my mind when i wake up and right before i fall asleep. your the one i want to call when im excited about something. your the one i want to curl up with at night and snuggle. your the one i want to experience new things with. your the one im falling in love with. and ive been in love before. many many times. This is different. this is the feeling thats written about in books and movies. its like floating in space. theres no real sense of time. your mind kind of races all over the place but can only focus on one thing. its like breathing. i think i love you. and that terrifies me. because i know im going to be the most vulnerable ive ever been with anyone and you have the power and ability to completely and utterly destroy me. You say you wont and you want me and this life we dream about but how can i be sure of that from where i am. Again why am i even stressing about this, you arent even mine. and i dont want to hold you back in life. i want you to be free to do what makes your heart and soul happy. and at the end of the day if that isnt me i have no choice but to try to be happy for you. but god do i want it so bad. tonight i looked up at the stars and asked for one thing. you. i am falling in love with you. every day i contemplate leaving my situation for you. i know you said only do it for me and not you but lately i dont feel like me without you. i wish i could explain everything thats going on in my head. i wish i understood what the universe was trying to tell me when you showed back up. i just hope im reading it right and not fucking up my life even more. i really fucking like you. id give up the world to be with you. i just need to know youd do the same for me. i wish i didnt get so stuck in my head like this. i guess im not sleeping tonight. and im not too sure what to write anymore. i just really fucking like you and i want this to work so badly. ughhh why. what are you doing to me. your making me feel things. your breaking down the walls. something that hasnt been done in over 10 years. that last time they came down i almost didnt make it. please dont destroy me. please.

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inriospocket · 3 years

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The right time

Based off of this request

word count ♡ 967

summary ♡ Reader can't find the right time to tell Rio she's pregnant because he's been busy with work.

situation ♡ fluffy

warnings ♡ one curse word

You set the third pregnancy test down near the sink. It was already clear; your missed period and the smell of coffee that you once loved made you sick to your stomach. You didn’t yet believe until peeing on 3 sticks.

You felt you were at a point in your life that you could say it was the right time but regardless of your stability, you see those two lines and wonder if you were ready.

You felt nauseous again but maybe because you had to tell Rio and it terrified you. This was all new to you and your relationship was going so well, would he be happy? Scared? You just had to find the right time.

“Christopher?” You called, peeking around the door to his office. You saw the focus on his face, going through his documents for work.

“Hm?” You heard him answer, maintaining his focus. “Can we talk, baby?” You asked.

Your grip on the door became slippery from your clammy hands. The tone in your voice made him turn his attention.

“Come here.” He nodded towards you. You went to him as told, opening your mouth to just blurt it out but his phone started to ring.

He looked at the caller id, looking back at you.

“It’s okay, you can answer.” You gave him a slight smile. He picked it up, immediately discussing something of importance. You stood to leave but he grabbed your hand to keep you there. You stayed for a while longer but you realized he wasn’t going to be off of the phone any time soon.

You found yourself slipping from his grip knowing he wouldn’t notice as he was too deep in his conversation. You told yourself tomorrow. Tomorrow you’ll tell him.

Until tomorrow came when he took you out to lunch and had to leave abruptly because of an emergency at work.

Tomorrow.

You found yourself saying that quite often and it seemed promising but never attainable.

You tried dropping hints that maybe he could just pick up on so you didn’t have to feel so stressed about blatantly telling him.

“Do you need any more tampons?” Rio asked you after you sent him a list of items to pick up.

“Nah, don’t need them anymore.” You said, hoping he’d understand. He was only slightly confused but thought that maybe you started your birth control again.

You figured he’d wonder why you were throwing up almost every morning but he was so tired that he didn’t even feel you when you got out the bed.

“You’re leaving?” You asked, watching him pack the same duffle that was a key indicator for a business trip.

He zipped it up once he was finished. “It’s just a couple days, sweetheart.” He said.

You frowned, wishing you could go back to the nice pocket of balancing life and work with each other.

He picked your head up by your chin. “Don’t.” He said, already hating that he had to leave you and your pouts made it worse.

You nodded but you felt yourself getting overly emotional, another prominent symptom of the pregnancy.

“Hey, why are you acting like this? This ain’t nothing new.” He chuckled but realized you were really upset. He dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around you.

“I don’t ever see you anymore.” You said, gripping his jacket.

“There’s been a lot of shit happening at work. I promise, just me and you after I’m back. Yeah?” He kissed your forehead and then your lips.

“Christopher, I’m...” You started to say.

“What?” He asked, searching your eyes for a response your voice couldn’t give him.

You sighed, knowing how important this trip could be and you didn’t want to get in the way.

“I’m gonna miss you.” You said instead.

He smirked, kissing you again for the last time before he had to leave. “Just a couple days.” He repeated.

You were frustrated that you couldn’t share your nervousness and excitement. He promised that it was just you two when he got back but it seemed that his business was far too important.

When will it be the right time?

It never will be.

You decided you weren’t going to be asleep when he got home however late it may have been. You sat at the table with a lukewarm cup of tea since you couldn’t drink coffee anymore.

You heard him close the door behind him, walking through the dark corridor until he saw you under the dim light.

“What are you doing up, mama?” He asked.

“I’m pregnant.” You finally said, playing with the string hanging from the tea bag.

“Wait, what?” He was taken aback for a moment, then excited, and then confused when you weren’t as excited as him.

“We’re excited, yeah?” He said but noticing your mannerisms told differently.

He pulled a chair up to you, taking the mug that distracted you.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked.

“I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks. I don’t know what or who has you stuck at work but-” You said but he quickly cut you off.

“Nah, you could have told me. This is more important.” He argued.

“I could have if you gave me a chance but you’re always on your phone. You’re just always doing something.” You said, wrapping your cardigan around you further.

He could have continued to argue but he realized this was supposed to be a good moment. He couldn’t have asked for anyone better to have a child with.

He moved your cardigan so he could see the very slightest pudge. He placed his hand on your stomach, rubbing his thumb across.

“You don’t have to worry anymore. I got you,” He said, looking up at you this time.

“The both of you.”

#rio x reader #rio good girls #manny montana #good girls rio #gg fic #fluff

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dollslayer · 3 years

Text

By Its Cover

Dark!Librarian!Steve Rogers x Shy!Reader, College AU

Summary: Your late nights at the university library spark a chain of events. Will they lead to your undoing? To anyone else's?

W/C: 8,890 (oops, sorry)

Warnings: DARK themes, NO MINORS, stalking, murder, minor character death, smut, angst, unprotected sex, oral sex, alcohol consumption, swearing

A/N: FINALLY, I wrote this for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor's 2 Years of Darkness challenge! This fic kicked my ass but after some months I'm so excited about it! This is my first truly dark fic so please don't read if any of these topics upset you but I do want to make a note that the sex is consensual. If I missed any warnings please DM me immediately and I will add them. Reblog/comment if you liked it! Maybe even check out some of my other fics 👀 Cheers!

Main Masterlist

You stumbled slightly on the uneven pavement as you made the final steps towards the graduate school library. It was always so much quieter than the undergrad library and at this hour there’d be a good chance it was just you and the poor person stuck working the overnight help desk. You didn’t mind that though, you were never an overly sociable person and you preferred to work alone anyways.

You swiped your student ID through the sensor and the little green light granted you entry as you opened the door. Looking around there wasn’t even someone at the desk, just the sound of the always-on A/C rattling the leaves of the fake plants in the lobby.

You moved to put your ID away when it slipped from your fingers and plapped onto the floor, your own face staring back up to you from the plastic. You sighed and swung your bag further back over your shoulder as you bent to pick it up when a pair of legs edged their way into your vision. Caught off guard by the man attached to them, you watched him bend to pick up the piece of plastic.

You both straightened back up to your full heights and you found yourself looking up at him. He had clear blue eyes and sandy blond hair that was swept back. He looked like he could be a model, he was so handsome and you felt like a deer in headlights.

You realized that he had your ID in his hand and was waiting patiently for you to take it. You smiled awkwardly and took it from him. He looked back to your card and read your name out loud and snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Thank you” you said more in surprise than gratitude “Sorry, I just, I could’ve sworn no one was here you came out of nowhere” You laughed nervously, hoping to hide your embarrassment. You were never good with talking to people and once a situation got awkward you just got yourself deeper in it.

“I was just coming around the corner when I noticed you dropped your ID. I actually work the late shift at the desk. Serves me right for applying last minute for work through the university, right?” He asked with a small laugh.

“Late night cram session? You look like your back’s about to snap from holding all those books” He pointed to your bag, the stitches of it’s straps were frayed and had been sewn over a couple of times.

“Yeah, I like coming here late, hardly anyone’s here, I don’t have to deal with people and I can just focus” You explained

“Right, well, sorry to keep you. If you need anything I’m Steve, and I’ll be bored out of my mind at the desk” he smirked and walked back towards reception.

You turned down the hall and thought how strange it was that you’d never seen him here before. It was the middle of the semester so he couldn’t have just started but you were in here all the time and you’d never run into him once. You brushed the thought off and continued on your way.

____

Over the next few weeks you and Steve developed a routine. You’d come in around 10 or 11, you’d stop at the desk and chat a bit and then you’d head up to your spot on the second floor to study. Occasionally Steve would see you when he returned books and you’d joke around a bit before he’d leave you to your work. You were building a good rapport with each other and he was pleased.

Sometimes he’d been too shy to approach you. It made him feel like the scrawny, helpless kid he was before the growth spurt. Beautiful girls like you never looked twice at him but he knows that you’re different, he knows that if you had met him then that you’d never treat him like those girls did. He knows that in time you two could really have something special.

Steve understood that building a relationship with you would take time and balance. He didn’t want to seem too eager but ever since he saw you he knew he’d do anything to just talk to you.

It started some months ago when he was visiting Bucky on campus. They had been hanging out in the quad right by a group of buildings when you tripped on the pavement and your books fell at his feet. He helped you up and even collected your books for you but you were too flustered and embarrassed to meet his eye. You eked out a thank you and scurried into the graduate library.

That moment sparked a blooming obsession within him. The following night he was still in town but he went out without Bucky and staked out where he’d been the previous night and watched you go to the library at the same time you had. The next two nights he did this and quickly pieced together your nightly routine.

Within a month's time he was set to transfer for the next semester and when he did he got a job working night shifts at the library. Bucky had asked him why on Earth he’d want that and Steve had shrugged him off, claiming that he wanted to be paid and didn’t want to deal with anyone. Seemed like a good enough reason to anyone else.

And so that’s how Steve found himself invading your personal space to hand you your ID. He enjoyed the way you trembled slightly in surprise. You looked so small next to him, looking up at him. He nearly forgot what he was going to say, feeling suddenly shy himself. You were so close to him and you were just as beautiful as he remembered.

Take it slow, he reminded himself.

____

Your apartment door slammed behind you as you stormed out of the building. You left in only what you were wearing which was a light hoodie and some leggings. You had thought to grab your book bag before you left and it kept knocking into your side with each angry step you took. Tears streaked your face but you tried your best to brush them off and continued on your brisk walk to the library.

You and your boyfriend had gotten into a fight and things got heated pretty fast, they always did with Sean. You had confronted Sean about being gone so often and so late, you’d missed him and wanted to spend time with you. That’s when he started getting defensive and turning your late nights at the library right around on you.

Things escalated to shouting and Sean had gotten so angry that he’d knocked over a pile of your books from the table. It had scared you and that’s when you left. You knew that you’d be getting nowhere with him when he was so angry. You wanted to be alone and needed a distraction so you grabbed your bag and headed for the library.

You secretly hoped Steve was working, it’d be nice to see a friendly face. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have the tiniest crush on him. He’s handsome and funny and kind and he always knows when to give you space. You wish you’d met him at a different point in your life, you could really see yourself with him in another timeline. Maybe it was just easier to think that having just had a fight with Sean.

You swiped your card and waited patiently for the door to open. You could tell Steve had already spotted you and was looking at you as you passed through the glass doors. He was smiling his same boyish charm smile that made you feel even shier than you already were. You must’ve looked a mess but it was comforting to see him there waiting for you.

“There she is,” Steve said with a smile as he got up from his chair to greet you. His face immediately fell though as he took in the tracks of your tears and your puffy eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Steve looked upset and angry for you. You were touched, but you’d rather leave it.

“I’d rather not talk about it, if it’s okay. It’s nice to see you though, Steve. How’s your night?”

Steve’s jaw ticked but he swallowed and nodded and you were grateful he didn’t push it further.

“Uneventful as usual, it’s good to see you too, doll.”

You felt your cheeks heat at the nickname. If you were on better terms with Sean you’d feel bad but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do anything but giggle.

You said your goodbye to Steve and made your way to the second floor to study.

Hours passed and you had your nose buried in a book when you felt a sudden presence. You looked up slowly behind you and shrieked when you found Steve just inches from you. He held his hands out defensively and tried to catch your breathing.

“Steve, oh my God, I didn’t see you there, you scared me!” You laughed as you caught your breath.

“Yeah, sorry, I uh, have a habit of doing that.” He said as he ducked his head sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. Was he blushing? Why did he look nervous?

“I, um. I was uh, I was hoping to maybe ah, ask you something, actually.” Steve swallowed thickly. He is nervous. You smiled at him and motioned for him to go on.

“I was thinking… maybe, when you’re free if um, would you maybe want to go to dinner? With me?” He stammered out.

You smiled and felt heat flood your cheeks all over again, Steve was gorgeous and you were flattered that someone like him would want to go out with you. Just as quickly as that flattery came dread had instantly replaced it. You had a boyfriend, you couldn’t do that to Sean. Oh God, now I have to turn him down. What if he hates me?

“Wow… I uh, Steve,” you started, “I’m. You’re so sweet, I don’t know what to say. But, I have a boyfriend, I’m really sorry”

“But- but don’t think I wouldn’t say yes, if I could. You’re such a nice guy and I’m really happy for our friendship. I hope this doesn’t make things weird between us, I’m. I’m sorry,” You quickly led up with. You felt so awkward and bad that you had to turn him down.

Steve’s jaw ticked and he looked away. A blush of embarrassment had made its way up his neck and into his cheeks. His fists clenched at his sides and he took a deep breath.

“It’s… It’s fine, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I don’t want things to be weird between us either. You know what? Why don’t we just forget the whole thing? Sorry again.” He finished with a tight lipped smile

You sent an uneasy smile back and nodded.

“Of course, no damage done, Steve.”

With that he left you and you went back to your book. You tried not to overthink the entire situation but couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable.

____

“Boyfriend” the word echoed in his head on a never ending loop with deafening reverb. He nodded curtly at you and smiled. You had your awkward exchange of apologies and excuses. Wordlessly, he made his way back to the information desk. He felt angry but also humiliated, he had spent at least a week building himself up to say something to you and you just turned him down so wholly?

He saw the way you looked at him, the way you laughed at his jokes. Steve knew that he meant more to you than you were letting on. There was attraction there, you were just in denial because you had a boyfriend.

Who even was this schmuck? You couldn’t have liked him that much because if you did then you would’ve mentioned him before but you hadn’t. If you really loved your boyfriend then you wouldn’t have smiled at Steve the way you did or stopped to say hello every night. He needed to see for himself whom exactly it was that was so undeserving of your attention.

Steve checked the cameras and saw that you were packing up your things. He had maybe a few minutes to gather his own things and wait for you. There was someone else coming to cover the library in 20 minutes, it would be fine if he left it alone until then. He decided to make himself scarce from the desk so you wouldn’t have to see him again before you left and you wouldn’t notice he’d be following you.

Waiting for the sound of the double doors to click shut he turned the corner and waited for just a minute. He slunk down the mainways of campus towards the student apartments and stopped just 20 yards away from you up against a wall. You looked so cold all alone in the dark as you buzzed in one of the numbers.

“1B, what the fuck could you possibly want at this hour?” a gruff voice answered over the comm.

“Baby, it’s me, sorry I forgot my keys but you weren’t responding to my texts so” You trailed off as you shivered in the night. No reply came, just the buzzer sounding off. You hurried inside and Steve tried his best to scope out external windows.

Finally the light came on in one of them and to his luck the blinds were mostly open. Through the vertical slats he could make out your entrance and an impeding figure from the hall. It was him, the boyfriend. The guy that was apparently so much better than Steve.

He saw your body language was tense and you opened your mouth to speak but before you could get a word in, your boyfriend was grabbing your face in his hands and kissing you. You looked surprised maybe, but you just let him grab you like that. You just fucking let him.

He watched from his spot against a pillar from the building across the walkway. He clenched his jaw and tried to control his breathing watching this guy, this boy manhandle you like you weren’t something special, something precious. He was disgusted but he couldn’t look away as your clothes were shirked off and you two fucked right there on the couch.

He couldn’t bring himself to watch anymore and stormed off. As he walked back to his place a plan began to form in the back of his mind.

____

Things with Sean were smoothed over. You didn’t really talk, so much as he just fucked you before you could even talk about it. He had kissed you on the cheek after and said he was sorry. So you figured that he was. You didn’t really feel like pushing it anyways.

You made for the library once again, anticipating a long night ahead of you with midterms around the corner.

You let out a shriek as you realized someone was standing over you. Steve was hovering right above you, looking even taller than he already was. You pushed your chair back to get some distance between yourself and him while you caught your breath from the momentary scare.

“Steve, I uh, sorry I didn’t hear you coming, again.”

He leaned himself against the edge of the table and crossed his arms. How had you not realized he was so muscular before? You flushed and scolded yourself for thinking about him like that. You had a boyfriend and Steve was just the nice guy at the library.

He ducked his head shyly and waved your apology off.

“Sorry, guess I’m just sneaky.” He chuckled in amusement but the feeling wasn’t mutual, “I was just up here returning some books when I realized I missed you coming in, thought I’d come say hi.”

“Right,” you replied, “Guess we just missed each other. How’s the desk tonight?”

“Bored to tears as usual, just glad you’re here tonight”

Steve winked at you and you felt your cheeks get hot again and you looked away with a small laugh.

“You always know just what to say, don’t you?”

“Ah that’s not true.” He paused, “I get nervous all the time around pretty girls like you”

You were really in it now. Your cheeks heated instantly and you had to look away from him again. For someone that just got rejected he doesn’t stay down for long. How the hell were you going to talk your way out of this one? He knows you have a boyfriend, why would he say that?

“Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.” Oh, thank God.

He begins to walk back to his cart before spinning on his heel one last time.

“Hey, I forgot to ask. You’re pretty good with art history, right?”

You nod cautiously, afraid that you know where this is going.

“Well, as of right now I’ve got a C. I was wondering if you’d be willing to meet on one of my nights off here and help me out?”

“O-oh. Yeah, of course. No problem. I’m sure Sean wouldn’t mind.”

You were too nice for your own good, saying yes before really thinking it all through. You only realized you had after the words left your mouth so you mentioned Sean to save yourself a bit.

Steve’s eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at you.

“Awesome, you’re the best. Maybe we can get together at that cafe on 3rd next Tuesday around noon?”

“Of course, I’ll be there” You confirm.

____

Tuesday couldn’t come soon enough for Steve. He didn’t need any help in art history, he was averaging about an 87, actually. But when you turned him down he knew he had to find another way to get closer to you and he knew that you’d say yes out of pressure.

All in all things were going pretty well for Steve. Despite your shy nature he’d managed to get closer to you much quicker than he expected. He loved watching you get flustered whenever he was close, finding it hard not to get flustered himself. He was impatient for things to move forward but he knew it would all pan out. There was only one wrench in the plan; your boyfriend Sean.

The other night when Steve had followed you home and witnessed Sean manhandle you in your apartment he began thinking of how to remove him from the picture. Steve did his research on Sean and found it suspicious he couldn’t find anything on him. Usually after a little digging you can find something off about anyone, but not him. Steve knew it would take a little more effort, but for you he’d make it.

So that’s how Steve wound up spending his night off in the corner of the dive bar that was just off campus. Off campus enough that you’d need to drive there. He had tailed Sean’s Jeep there after his club soccer game in hopes of finding something he could actually use to justify getting rid of him for you. He groused as he pulled into the parking garage across the street and pocketed his parking stub. He waited a few beats and watched Sean leave his car.

He slinked in the door and grabbed a dimly lit corner booth. The residue of whatever cleaner this place used was causing his forearms to stick to the table at his booth and the air stunk of vape smoke. He was surrounded by other 20-somethings, awkward Tinder hookups and frat bros meeting up to blow off steam.

On the opposite side of the room he spotted Sean, watched him as he approached the bar for another pint. He’d followed him here in hopes of getting some sort of information on him that he could use. After an hour of nursing one beer and absolutely nothing happening with Sean Steve had been ready to give up.

Just as he was getting ready to down the rest of his drink the door had opened and in walked a girl around his age. She looked nervous but excited as she looked around the place. She nearly squealed as she rushed over when she found who she was looking for. A smile slowly crawled across Steve’s face as the girl rushed into Sean’s arms and embraced him with a kiss. This is exactly what Steve needed to get him out of the picture.

Steve discreetly took out his phone and snapped a few photos, even got a video of them kissing again. He figured this would be enough to blackmail Sean into leaving you. Getting what he needed, he grabbed his jacket and left the bar. He felt light as a feather walking home, his plan was finally setting into motion and it wouldn’t be long until you were together.

Tuesday had finally come and Steve’s good mood only carried over. He practically skipped to the coffee shop you two had agreed to meet at. He grabbed a table and waited for you. When he saw you open the door he was grinning ear to ear but his expression quickly changed taking in your appearance. You looked exhausted, like you’d been crying again. This wouldn’t do.

“What’s wrong? Is it your boyfriend again?” Steve asked.

You nodded silently and set down your bag with a huff.

“He’s just been out really late lately, I feel like he’s never home. Then again I’m always out late.”

“Well I’m glad you’re a night owl, otherwise we wouldn’t have met” Steve tried to turn the conversation back to them and to keep it positive.

“I guess you’re right. You didn’t order anything?” You frowned, noticing his empty hands.

“I was waiting for you, it’s my treat.” You opened your mouth to protest but Steve was quick to add, “Don’t even try to argue with me on this one.”

You sighed but ultimately relented, following him to the counter. He let you order first.

“Um, just a small hot chocolate please, thank you so much”

Steve thought it was cute that you didn’t drink caffeine, he knew hot chocolate was your drink of choice. He knew this of course from hours of pouring over every profile of yours he could find on the internet. He even found your tumblr you were just sure nobody knew about. Turns out you’ve got quite the dirty mind. But that was a thought for another day. Steve turned back to the counter and ordered black coffee and paid the bill.

With drinks in hand you made your way back to your table and settled in for an afternoon of art history. It went smoothly overall and Steve even got you to laugh a few times. He’d perfectly played his balance of pretending not to know about the subject while seeming to be learning what you were teaching. He could tell you felt proud of yourself for accomplishing something and he was happy he could make you feel that way. He was sure he was the only one that could.

You called it a day and said your goodbyes, you went in for an awkward hug which Steve accepted wholeheartedly. He’d even managed to finally snag your number so you two could work out more study times. Maybe you were coming around much easier than he anticipated. He smiled to himself and on the walk home began to devise a plan to get rid of Sean. It’d only be a matter of days if everything went accordingly.

____

You were basking in the rare day off, taking every moment to enjoy doing absolutely nothing. You’d felt drained lately from your class workload, late nights at the library, and your elevating fights with Sean. He was at work today followed by an evening class so you had uninterrupted alone time. Around 10pm it took every ounce of your free will to get off the couch and get the mail.

You milled over to your box and jammed the key in. Pulling the mail out your head titled in curiosity at the large unmarked manila folder. No return address written, only yours but there was nothing indicating whether it was for you or Sean. You’d open it when you got back upstairs.

Finally back to your spot on the couch your fingers slowly undid the folder’s metal clasp and you reached inside for its contents. Out came several photos and a hastily written note. You held the grainy photos closer to your face to make out what they were. When you did your heart plummeted and you went into emotional shock.

Though the photos were grainy it was very clear what they were of. Shots of Sean and some mystery brunette making out in a bar. Sean with his arm around her waist, Sean with his hand on her ass. All the photos were timestamped for only a few days ago when he claimed his soccer game was running late. You dropped them instantly and they scattered to the floor.

Your heart was hammering in your ears, you didn’t know what to think. Sean was the only boyfriend you’d ever really had, Sean loved you, you loved him. Somewhere in the back of your mind you remembered there was a note. You searched for it and tried to read it through the tears that were beginning to blur your vision.

‘I know what you did. You tell her or I will. You have three days’

You didn’t recognize the handwriting. Who would send this? Why would they send it? You and Sean didn’t have many friends and you couldn’t picture them doing this. Maybe this is some prank? Maybe the timestamp is wrong and this is before you were together.

Sean was all you’d ever known and you shared an apartment, it’s not like you’d have anywhere to go or anyone to turn to. Should you confront him with these? It’s not like you two were exactly good at solving your problems. Would he leave you if you showed him these? What then?

Your mind was spinning, unsure of what to do with this new information. Maybe you could keep quiet about this, try to spend some more time with Sean, make him see what the two of you have. Maybe you can ask him to be home more, maybe you could be home more too.

You took a deep breath and wiped your tears before you gathered the photos and put them back into the envelope. You decided you’d hold onto them for now, tucking them away in your drawer of the dresser. Deciding you’d just work yourself up if you stayed up you shot Sean a text goodnight and went to bed.

Morning came and he was snuggled into your side, the comfort you felt had you feeling like everything might be okay for a moment. You stayed in bed just a little longer and turned so he could hold you in his arms. Your heart felt so unsure and scared, but you didn’t know what else you could do.

The week passed by and you decided to shift more of your energy towards your relationship with Sean, pushing your nights at the library to the backburner. You still hadn’t told him about the envelope but you did tell him you missed him and wished he was home more. He relented and was home four nights this week instead of his usual two.

The time together was uncomfortable but you kept telling yourself that things were getting a little better over time, even if your studies were suffering for it. As the week went on you were able to suppress your doubts about your relationship a bit more. Sean loved you and you loved him.

You couldn’t ignore the oncoming threat of midterms forever, though. The last thing you wanted was to be alone because you knew that your thoughts would just spiral but you needed to do well this semester so you grabbed your bag and headed out.

You swipe through the doors, almost looking forward to seeing Steve. You’d blown off your study session with a profuse apology so you could be with Sean. You were eager to apologize in person but found the reference desk to be completely abandoned. You frowned, maybe Steve was putting away books or something. You’d see him eventually though, for now you had an essay to write.

Hours could have gone by and you wouldn’t have known. You were getting so much done though, it felt good to be focused on something other than your own thoughts.

“Where’ve you been?”

You jump in your seat. You turn around to find Steve emerging from the shelves that were just out of your view. He wore a neutral expression but you could cut the tension with a knife. He stepped forward and you debated on what to say.

“Sorry, I had to cancel with you this week. How are you getting along?”

“Nothing another tutoring session couldn’t fix, I’m sure. Were you sick? I feel like you haven’t been here in forever. The nights get awful lonely without ya here”

Why did Steve keep making statements like that when he knew you had a boyfriend? It was driving you insane and getting harder to ignore them.

“Um, no, I was with Sean, actually. But y’know, can’t avoid midterms forever” You gave a half-hearted laugh hoping to lighten things up.

Steve’s neutral expression is slipping, but you can’t tell if he’s angry or not. But his face broke out into a small smile, putting you at ease instantly. He clapped you on the shoulder and took a step back.

“Yeah, guess you’re right. We still on for Tuesday?”

You gave him an easy smile and nodded.

“I’ll be counting the days” With that Steve disappeared back between the shelves.

____

The moment Steve placed the envelope in the mail he felt a confidence he hadn’t felt before. All he had to do was wait for you to open the envelope and everything would take its course. He knew Sean was at work and you’d be the one to get the mail that day. From his spot he’d peered in your windows all those weeks ago he watched you open the photos. You dropped them to the ground and held a hand to your mouth to cover what looked like a sob. Steve smiled to himself, now all you had to do was leave him.

The week went on and Steve figured you might need a little time to break it off and he’d be there at the library, waiting to comfort you. It’s not like you had any other friends in your life to turn to. But then you cancelled your study session with no explanation. Steve figured maybe you were still in shock, needed to cry it out alone. Then two days turned to four turned to seven.

Steve was confused, he was infuriated even. Why hadn’t you come to the library yet? Why hadn’t you texted him? There’s no way that you were actually going to stay with him after you saw him with another woman. Except that’s exactly what he did.

Looking back on it Steve recognized his mistakes. He knew you were shy and meek, sweet, it’s what he loved about you. But he should’ve accounted for this to happen. You were too sweet for your own good, wanting to make it work with Sean. It was an obstacle he hadn’t seen but this is just a slight bump in the plan. He can work around it.

When he saw you coming up the steps on the security camera he made himself scarce, not ready to face you just yet. He gave you some hours to study before he made himself known to you. He could tell just by the way you talked that you were in complete denial about what was happening. You weren’t strong enough to leave him but that’s okay, Steve is strong enough for the both of you right now, he’ll help you get there.

____

Just when you thought things were getting better Sean was back to becoming distant, going out with his teammates and coming home still a little drunk. The more you thought about those photos and thought about how he slipped back into old habits so easily the more you were working up the courage to confront him. You weren’t sure if you’d leave him, but maybe it would make him change.

Then the second envelope came. More photos of them kissing and leaving the bar together. They were time stamped just two nights ago. Your heart fell through the floor as you tried to make sense of things. How much of this could you put up with? When was enough? You needed to confront him when he got home.

You texted him to try to come home early tonight, saying it was important. You spent the rest of the evening planning out your words and trying to quell the oncoming panic attacks. Time passed by in a blur and before you knew it it was midnight and you still had no word from Sean. You couldn’t spend one more minute alone, you needed to get out. You needed a friend.

Your body was on autopilot as your feet carried you up the steps of the library. Steve wasn’t at the desk and you felt almost distressed. You knew he’d be a good third party to talk all this out to and you didn’t know what to think when he wasn’t there. You decided to shoot him a text.

‘Hey, I know you usually work Thursdays, I’ll be at my usual spot, I could really use a friend if you’re not too busy’ Did that sound too desperate? At this point you didn’t care.

You sunk down into your chair on the second floor with a huff. You hadn’t brought your bag so it’s not like you could study to distract yourself. As it turned out you didn’t need to.

“I’m never too busy for you, doll. ‘Specially not at this job” Steve’s voice carried as he rounded a corner into your sight.

You felt instantly better before you realized you were crying. It was hard to be vulnerable but if you could trust anyone with this it was Steve. You gave him a weak smile as he pulled up a chair beside you.

“What’s wrong? Do you need tissues?”

“No, sorry, I just.” You were struggling to find the words. “Sean is cheating on me”

Steve’s hands clenched into fists, he looked absolutely furious for you.

“Are you serious? That bastard! Doll, I’m so sorry. Have you confronted him?” His hand reached for yours and his thumb rubbed light circles.

“I-I, I haven’t said...anything. I just. He loves me y’know? Why would he do that? He’s all I have? What happens if he leaves me where will I stay I’ll be completely alone, I’ll-”

You had worked yourself into a panic attack as you desperately tried to take gulps of air while tears streamed down your face. You were losing touch with your surroundings and spiraling into a place you couldn’t get yourself out of. Steve moved his chair closer to you and brought you into his lap. He held your back to his chest and wrapped his arms around you. You could just make out what he was saying.

“Doll, it’s okay, I need you to breathe with me, can you do that? Take a deep breath in with me. Hold it and count to five with me,” You do but you’re still struggling. “Now exhale, count again for me. You’re doing so well, you can do this.”

Eventually Steve is able to bring you back down to Earth and you slumped back into his arms. You don’t care that Steve is holding you, it feels safe. You shifted so you could lean your head against his chest and let out a heavy sigh. He holds you to himself and lets you sit there for a while.

You don’t know how much time passes but you sit up slowly and he’s reluctant to let you go. You wipe your eyes as you go back to your own chair.

“Sorry, I’m keeping you from your job. Sorry I just totally came here and freaked out” You were starting to feel embarrassed, oversharing your life and emotions with him. You really liked him, you didn’t want to think you’d ruined the friendship.

“Don’t even apologize. You can always come to me.” He gave you a warm smile and you felt reassured. “So what are you going to do about Sean?”

Another hour had gone by with Steve and you could see the sun starting to come through the windows. You had decided you would confront him and go from there. You weren’t ready to fully commit to leaving him but this needed to end one way or another. For the first time in two weeks you felt like things were maybe going to be okay. The next time you saw Sean you were going to confront him.

____

Clearly seeing that you weren’t going to do anything after he sent the photos, he had to go to plan B. Steve waited outside the practice field and followed him to the parking structure once again. He jammed the parking stub in his jacket pocket along with the others and repeated his previous trips here. It was astounding how unaware Sean was of his surroundings, Steve had followed him and that girl from the bar back to her place at least twice now.

Getting what he needed he put another envelope in the mail the next day, this time with no note but the photos were more upsetting. It hurt Steve to hurt you but it’s what needed to be done. You were never going to confront him with things as they were so he had to push the envelope, literally and metaphorically. The hurt would be worth it though, because you came crying to him just like he’d hoped you would. Seeing your text warmed his heart, you needed him and he’d be there. Every time.

He knew he’d be comforting you but he didn’t think that he’d get to hold you. He was hiding his smile as he wrapped his arms around you and brought you down from your panic attack. You did so well listening to him and calming down. He was convinced he was the only one that could help you, you just needed to see that.

Steve abandoned his cart of books that needed to be shelved but he couldn’t care less. He’d stay up all night with you every night if that’s what it took. As dawn broke the two of you devised a plan and he built you up to say something. You weren’t committed to leaving him, which Steve wasn’t happy about, but you were committed to confronting him, if only you’d get the chance.

Based on what Steve knew of both yours and Sean's schedules you’d just miss each other between classes during the day and Sean had a game tonight, which would inevitably lead to a night at the bar. All Steve had to do was wait. He had to contain his excitement, things were finally finally falling right into place, they just needed a final push.

Nightfall came and this time Steve beat Sean to the structure. Steve parked on the top level and stuck the parking stub in his pocket. He didn’t feel like he was taking a risk by counting on Sean to follow routine, he was a good boy, he’d park in his same spot he always did and proceed to get wasted across the street.

A slow smile creeped across Steve’s face as Sean and his teammates stumbled into the bar, probably already drunk from pre-gaming. Sean’s sidepiece wouldn’t come to the bar tonight, her sorority having some dumb mixer or another. Steve reminded himself of his mantra to wait. His phone buzzed and he saw it was a text from you. You two had been texting after you came to him in the library.

‘He’s not responding to my texts. I know he had a game tonight but I really thought he’d be here’

He’d have to text you back another time, Steve needed to be on his toes tonight. He sat at what was becoming his usual booth for nearly two hours, barely touching his pint. Finally Sean paid his tab and said goodnight to his friends. Steve pulled down the brim of his hat and pursued him towards the parking structure. Drunken and fumbling up through the stairwell, Steve entered behind him quietly while taking out a knife he’d stolen from Bucky. He always knew his friend’s strange obsession with them would come in handy someday.

Just as Sean was about to take the final step Steve grabbed him from behind. Sean’s reactions may have been slowed but it hadn’t stopped him trying to thrash out of the grip. His efforts stopped immediately as Steve held the blade to his throat. He spoke clearly and in a low voice.

“Keep walking up the stairs or I will slit your fucking throat, do you hear me?” He brought the knife closer to his neck to drive home the threat.

“E-easy man, please, please don’t do this”

“Keep moving. Up.”

Steve pushed him all the way towards his car at the edge of the top level. He flipped Sean around so his back was to the ledge, the knife still trained closely on him. Pleads for mercy fell on deaf ears.

“What do you wan’!? You wan’ money!? Take, take my wallet man I don’t need it, jus’ please don’t kill me please!”

Steve pushed him slightly, though his grip on him remained tight. Sean struggled against him as his body weight wavered over the ledge. He must have realised how far up they were because he started crying at this point, begging even harder as he teetered and trying desperately to get his bearings against the wall.

“Why are you doing this!?” He wailed, “I’ll do anything, please! Please, I have a girlfriend, I have a family”

That was all that it took. Steve was feeling a high like he’d never felt. He knew at this moment he was doing the right thing for both of you. With a rush of adrenaline and in a flash of certainty he pushed Sean’s body over the edge. He didn’t watch him fall the seven stories down to the ground, but he did wait to hear the sickening crack and thud of his body hitting the ground. There was no way he’d survived.

Blood rushing through his ears, he felt euphoric, so powerful, so in love with you. He climbed back into his car and headed for his apartment. His plan wasn’t quite complete yet though, but everything he needed to do was done. He could watch the rest unfold from the sidelines. He knows you’ll be heartbroken all over again when you find out, but he’ll be there to pick up the pieces.

____

You’d been in mourning for nearly two months. The shock you’d felt wasn’t comparable to any other feeling you’d felt. The police ultimately ruled his death an accident, they performed an autopsy and found dangerous amounts of alcohol in his system. They weren’t able to pinpoint an exact time of death but estimated 2-3 AM, as he’d been found in the morning. They figured he’d just gotten piss drunk and came too close to the edge. And he was gone just like that.

His death weighed heavy on you, you blamed yourself for a long time. He wouldn’t have stayed out if you hadn’t pushed him so far away from you. The last thing you ever said to him was nagging and whiny, no wonder he didn’t want to come home. To think that you were possibly going to leave him. You felt so much self-contempt but slowly you were learning to forgive yourself.

You don’t know what you’d have done without Steve by your side. He was there for you every step of the way. He held you at the funeral, he helped you pack up Sean’s things in the apartment, he took your late night phone calls and came over at the drop of a hat to help you through your grief. You were eternally grateful for his selflessness and his willingness to help you heal.

Guilt loomed over you once again as the old feelings you’d had for Steve in the early days of your friendship started to flare up again. It felt natural to feel them, with him being closer to you than he ever was, but it didn’t stop you from feeling shame over it. You had to remind yourself that you weren’t culpable for anything that happened, that Sean himself was interested in someone else when he’d died. You had to forgive yourself for these feelings for Steve. Maybe even pursue them.

‘Can you come over tonight? I think we should talk’ Your nerves were on fire from the rush you got sending him that text.

‘How about you come to my place? 7? We can go for something to eat if you want.’ Your heart was fluttering, was this a date?

‘Sounds good :)’

Checking the time you saw it was 4, you spent the next few hours obsessing over what to say. No matter what you were determined to tell him your feelings for him. You were debating whether or not you should kiss him. Would he even want you back? What if he only sees you as a friend now? The hours whiled away and you took a deep breath before setting out.

You’d been to Steve’s apartment only once before, you knew he lived alone but he’d managed to make the place feel homey. You were buzzed in and before you had the chance to knock on the door Steve had it open and was waiting for you. His smile was all teeth and it was contagious, you smiled back looking up at him and he let you in.

You sat down on the couch and waited for Steve. No turning back now. Deep breath. He sat down and turned to face you.

“What did you want to talk about?”

No words were coming to you. Your mouth opened but you could only sputter. Oh God, where were the words? Do something!

So you did. Before you could think about it you put a shaky hand up to Steve’s jaw and pulled him in for a kiss. You didn’t know what you were feeling, you were just waiting for Steve to respond. You began to pull back but before you could he took your face in his hands and kissed you back tenderly but with purpose. Your arms were around him and he pulled you closer into his lap to kiss you more passionately.

You finally pulled apart to catch your breath. You snuck a look up to his face and you were nervous but you felt like you were floating.

“You have… no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” He said between breaths.

You two smiled like idiots and he brought his lips to yours again. The kiss deepened and a moan slipped from your mouth. This seemed to spark something in Steve and his hands shakily moved over your body. He was feeling every curve of you and you ground down into his lap and his hips bucked up in response. You have no idea where this confidence came from but you’d never felt more sure of yourself. You broke apart again and Steve was breathing heavily.

“Is this what you want?” He asked. You could only nod before he was on you again. He pulled you up from the couch and led you to his bed. This time he laid you back and was hovering over you, slowly undoing the buttons of your jeans. You helped him get yourself out of them and pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you in just your bra and panties. How was this happening? Who cares?

He sat back and took the sight of you in, he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing. He slowly removed his clothes and moved back over you, kissing his way up your thighs before pulling your panties down your legs. He continued laving away at your skin, making you nervous but excited. His fingers brushed your core and he brought them up to his face.

“Sweetheart, you are dripping.” Your cheeks heated instantly as he chuckled. Not giving you the chance to respond he dove right in. Two fingers entered you and you arched your back, his tongue lapped up your wetness and then at your clit. You’d really never known pleasure like this, no one had ever done this for you before. His fingers pumped in and out of you and your hands flew to his hair and pulled. He continued on and curved his fingers just slightly and you clenched down around him, you were so close.

“Please, I’m so close” you whimpered.

Steve doubled his efforts and before you knew it the tension he had been building up was released in a white hot flash of ecstasy. You writhed against his fingers as he kept pumping them into you. Finally he relented, pulling them out and licking them clean. You’d never seen something that made you feel so filthy but so so good.

He took off his boxers and encased you in his arms. He kissed your neck and you moaned again at the feeling. You spread yourself for him and he lined himself up and groaned. The stretch was something you weren’t ready for. It burned almost, you cried out as he put his whole length in you. He waited all of two seconds before he began thrusting into you. You weren’t ready but you were adjusting quickly with the way his cock hit that spot inside of you over and over.

You were holding onto his shoulders, nails digging in deep as he started to go harder and faster.

“I’m close” He panted into your ear.

Reaching down his fingers found your clit and started moving back and forth quickly, trying to match his thrusts. The tension was building again to a breaking point and you were getting close again. He worked you even harder until you broke, cumming for a second time. Your eyes were screwed shut in ecstasy as you cried again.

“Steve!”

That was all it took before he slammed into you a final time, you could feel his release and you’d never felt closer to him. His movements stopped and your noses touched. He kissed you hard before rolling off of you.

“That was… oh my god” you breathed.

“I know, me too” Steve chuckled. “So can I take you to dinner?”

“Nothing would make me happier,” You grinned wide and nodded.

You cleaned yourself up and redressed. You were taking in Steve’s room and found yourself smiling at the photos of him and Bucky, little knick-knacks on his dresser. You found a sticky note on the calendar at his desk. You squinted. Had you seen his handwriting before?

You shrugged and flopped yourself back on the bed. You checked the weather on your phone and frowned at the temperature, you let out a small groan.

“What is it?” Steve called from the bathroom as he cleaned up.

“It’s so coooold and I forgot my jacket” You pouted.

“Just take mine, it’s the brown leather one hanging in the living room” He was so sweet.

Gingerly, you made your way into the living room and found the jacket, slipping it on. You don’t know what was taking Steve so long but you shoved your hands in the pockets and waited for him. You felt something in the right pocket. Is this trash? You pulled out little wadded up pieces of paper and unfolded them.

They were parking stubs. They were from the same structure that Sean had fallen from. Your heart was pounding, upset just thinking of him. Looking closer one of them was stamped for 2:15 AM, 2/1, the night that he died. Okay...

1 AM 1/15, 11:57PM 1/28, They matched the timestamp on the photos that had been sent to you. Two others were from nights when Sean had games and had stayed out late. Your heart was in your throat and tears were forming in your eyes, trying to find some explanation. You thought again of the first time you’d received an envelope, those photos, that note. It had dawned on you why the note looked so familiar… The handwriting! Oh, God... Your whole world slowed down as you heard footsteps bound into the room. Slowly you turned, the stubs still in your shaking hands.

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Steve took a step further, “You weren’t supposed to see those.”

#dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers #college AU #librarian AU #steve rogers x reader #marvel x reader #dark!marvel #stalker!steve rogers #smut #angst #dark fic #dark marvel fics #dark mcu #twoyearsofdark

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caravelstan · 2 years

Text

(too little) too late | s. kiszka

authors note: slowly starting to write again thanks to gvf so :P here’s another sammy one. i’m slowly working on a jake one so that may be posted as well. i also suck at endings so... im sorry!!!! anyways hope u like it lol again sorry if its rough i’m going on 4 years of absolutely no writing lol

pairing: sam kiszka x fem!reader

warnings: angst lol but then fluff????

word count: 1.6k

summary: right person, wrong time. will they finally get their chance?

Her hands still as she hears her phone ring from beside her, brows furrowed in confusion. She leans over to look at the caller ID and her heart sinks, seeing his name come across her screen.

Sam Kiszka is calling...

It's not like they hadn't spoken in years or months, it's probably been about a week since she heard from the boy. There's no bad blood, never has been, but that doesn't stop her stomach from dropping. She places her guitar on the ground next to her, reaching for her phone.

"Hello?" She says softly, already chewing on her thumb with nerves. She hears Sam take a deep breath on the other side.

"Y/N..." He says, voice quiet but filled with so much emotion. She frowns.

"What's up?"

She supposes he's at a bar with the rest of the boys because she can hear chatter and music in the background, muffled, so she assumes he's stepped outside.

"They're playing your song." Is all he says. She can't help but laugh, leaning back against the couch behind her.

"Gonna have to be more specific than that, Sammy." She teases.

He chuckles, but it sounds forced. "The one you wrote for me."

She goes silent. She knows exactly which song he's talking about and a wave of sadness washes over her. It'd been a song she wrote in over a night, so overcome with her feelings and the heartbreak of Sam getting into a relationship, and then overcome by the guilt she felt. She hadn't deserved to be upset with him getting into a relationship when she had done the same to him almost a year prior.

Right person, wrong time is what she refers to her relationship with Sam. Their timings were always wrong, but deep down, they both were hoping for the other to be the right one.

"Yeah?" She finally speaks up, voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah."

"Isn't that a bit depressing for a bar?" She tries to joke, but her laughter falls flat.

"Maybe," He's silent for a beat. "I never told you how beautiful I thought it was."

She smiles bashfully at the ground, watching her fingers pick at the carpet. "I never expected you to say anything about it."

"I never knew what to say. It's so... devastatingly beautiful. Josh cried the first time hearing it." She can hear the frown in his voice. "I'm sorry for doing that to you."

It's her turn to frown. "Sam..."

"Can I say something?" He cuts her off.

"Of course." Her frown deepens when she hears him take a shaky breath on the other end, her fingers clenching around her phone.

"It was always you, you know?" His voice sounds small, almost like a child getting scolded by their parents. It makes her stomach drop. "From the moment we met it was always you. I think I was too scared to admit that then and when I finally did it was... it was too late."

"That's in the past, Sammy." She says softly and tries to ignore the way her voice breaks at the end.

"I know, I just... never got to apologize. For doing that. To you."

"I'm sorry too." She doesn't realize there's tears in her eyes until she feels that familiar burn, a stray tear sliding down her cheeks.

They both stay silent and all she can hear from the other end is the sound of Sam's breathing and she tries to focus on that, eyes fluttering shut to calm herself down.

"I'd take it all back if I could."

"Why are you telling me this now?" She all but whines down the phone, eyes screwed shut as she tips her head back. The sound he makes on the other end is pitiful - a mix between a laugh and a cry.

"Because you're still the only thing I can think about," He says with a shaky voice. "Because no matter what I do, whenever I close my eyes all I see is you. Not her - you."

She should be angry at him. She should be yelling at him, telling him to go back inside to the boys and to her and to not call again. To stop thinking about her and them and to get over it because that's in the past, but she can't. She could never be mad at Sam.

"Sam," She breathes. "Why are you doing this?"

"I broke up with her."

Her breath hitches at his confession and she has to grip her phone in between her fingers, scared if she loosens them her phone will fall to the ground.

"When?"

"Um," He mumbles and she hears him sniffle. "A few months ago, actually."

"Why?"

He lets out a sad laugh. "She found out I still had feelings for you."

"Oh."

She's not sure how she should feel. Warmth washes over her body at the thought of him still having those same feelings for her, even after all this time, but she's still sad. She hadn't even done anything and yet she still was the cause for the end of Sam's relationship, something she promised herself she'd never do.

All she wanted was for Sam to be happy, and right now, he sounds anything but.

"Please say something."

Her heart lurches at his pleading tone and her eyes burn with fresh tears. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"That you still love me." His voice edged closer to a beg. "That I'm not too late this time."

"Sam..."

"Please." He begs.

"Of course I still love you,” She huffs out, reaching up to wipe at her nose. “I have loved you this entire time.”

She hears him let out a breath on the other end in only what she assumes is relief. She tries to smile at that, the warmth washing over her body again, but she can barely muster one up as more tears begin to fall. This has been the moment she’s been waiting for and all she feels is sadness.

This is not what she should be feeling right now.

She should be jumping for joy, proclaiming her love down the phone to Sam, but instead she’s sitting in silence with the boy on the other end.

“Can I come and see you?” Sam finally speaks up, voice small. She sniffles.

“Why?”

“I want to tell you I love you to your face.” He says quietly. “I want to do this right. I want you.”

She stares down at the carpet again, a sad smile tugging at her lips. “And what if we’re too late?”

“I don’t think we are.”

Another silence fills the air but she doesn’t feel as heavy as she did just a few moments ago. She listens to Sam’s steady breathing on the other hand, her fingers picking at her leggings she wore. His words filled her with hope - only a bit. She tries to never get her hopes up with most things, especially with Sam, but she heard the determination in his voice. He was being serious.

“Alright,” She says, fighting the new and very real smile from forming on her lips. Her eyes flicker around the room before dropping back to her hands. “You could fly out this weekend?”

“Or tomorrow.”

“Or this weekend.” She says, a laugh bubbling out of her from his eagerness. “You said you wanted to do this right.”

Sam sighs but she hears the smile in his voice. “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“I think you can wait a few more days.”

“I’d wait forever for you.”

Her cheeks heat up at his words and she can picture his smug grin on the other end.

“Always the romantic, Samuel.” She says with a roll of her eyes.

“I’m serious,” He says. “I’ve waited all this time, I’d wait even longer. I’ve wanted you for so long, Y/N.”

Her heartbeat quickens beneath her chest at his confession and she covers her mouth with her hand to keep in the squeal that wanted to escape, happiness finally filling her body. If this all works out, if this all goes as she hopes, maybe - just maybe - they could be happy. Together.

It’s all she’s ever wanted.

“Well, you won’t have to wait too much longer.”

“Not long at all.” Sam says. “I’m booking a flight once I go back inside.”

“That eager to see me?”

“You don’t even know the half of it.”

They both laugh together until silence fills them again, but this time it’s comfortable. She’s smiling at the ground, tears long gone, and mind wandering to the whirlwind of emotions she felt in the last thirty minutes. She never expected this conversation to happen, let alone it ending in Sam coming to see her.

“I should go. Josh just came out here and he’s looking at me like I’m crazy.”

She laughs. “Tell him I said hi.”

“I will.” Sam says, and she can just imagine the smile he’s sporting at this very moment. “I’ll see you in a few days, yeah?”

“Yeah, you will.”

There’s another beat of silence before Sam softly says, “I love you.”

Her heart flutters, cheeks hurting from how wide she’s smiling but she doesn’t care. Any other time she’d tease him, remembering him saying he wanted to tell her those three little words to her face. She’ll just wait to do it when he’s here with her.

Just the thought makes her heart race.

“I love you.”

They say their goodbyes and she hangs up the phone, sitting it on the ground beside her long forgotten guitar. She stares off into her room, basking in the silence. She’s not sure what will happen from here on out with her and Sam, but maybe this time is their chance to do it right. She tries not to think of the what ifs, finally allowing herself to be happy for once.

Happy with Sam.

A giggle escapes her at the thought and her smile never leaves her face, not until she falls asleep, dreams filled with the brown eyed boy she fell in love with years ago.

#sam kiszka #sam kiszka imagine #sam kiszka x reader #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet imagines #sam kiszka fan fiction #my writing

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retroaria · 3 years

Note

can you do headcanon number 10 with karl <3 love your writing btw!

Karl Jacobs: Fluff Alphabet ✿

cc!karl jacobs x reader

pronouns: gender neutral

warnings: just swearing

here’s my 500 Follower Event ^o^

a/n: even if they aren’t requested in the event i’ll still be making fluff hc’s for all the cc’s i write so stay tuned !!

A is for Affection (How do they like to show affection?)

other than physical touch (saving that for love language) karl’s favorite way to show affection is making you a huge part of his life. all of his friends and loved ones know just how important you are to him even without him saying anything. especially with blowing up and all the busy stuff he does as a creator, he wants you to be there with him every step of the way, never leaving you in the dark about anything. he’s always asking you for advice or ur opinion on certain projects, and if ur willing to help too that just makes him so happy. because at the end of the day, he wouldn’t be able to do it without you :)

B is for Bond (What kind of bond do you guys have? What could your relationship be labeled as?)

you guys are definitely the wholesome couple. there’s so much love and communication between you two that doesn’t go unnoticed by the people around you. on top of that, you guys share an adoration for each other that is just so freaking cute man

C is for Comfort (How do they comfort their s/o?)

in the beginning of your relationship, karl would kinda just try to cheer you up or make you laugh, but as things get more serious he’s very avid on getting you to talk about your issues so he can find the best way to be there for you.

D is for Dates (What are dates with them like?)

dates with karl are so fun !! he definitely likes just doing random stuff like shopping, going on long drives, or trying new places to eat and calling them dates. at the same time you guys also do bigger things like fancy restaurants (hes so rich oh dear god), amusement parks, long day trips, stuff like that.

E is for Emotions (How do they express their emotions around you?)

karl doesn’t strike me as a ‘heart on his sleeve’ kinda guy but around you, he’s definitely not closed off at all. aside from just talking to you and verbally being open, he also isn’t afraid to let you see him get upset or even cry about something. i see him as the type to value transparency in a relationship.

F is for Fiancé (How long into the relationship before they propose?)

karl definitely loves you, no doubt about it. but i feel like you guys really do enjoy just being together in the moment and not worrying about that stuff until much later down the line. you could be dating for a really long time and there’s still gonna be so much you can learn about each other. i’ll give karl an official number of 5 years. but maybe even longer. it’s a big decision guys remember!! especially because he does want you in his life forever, he wants to make sure the bond is truly like no other.

G is for Gentle (Are they gentle?)

depends. you guys have lots of playful banter and bullying but at the end of day he can be a big softy when it comes to you. so yes id say he’s pretty gentle 👍

H is for Hand Holding (How do they like hand holding?)

loves it. obviously. it’s karl jacobs. have you seen the guy?

I is for I Love You (Who said “I love you” first?)

him. it was really early on into the relationship and he kinda regretted saying it so quickly. there was just so much emotion going on for him at the time and he just blurted it out. after a little while longer tho, he gave a proper confession of his love.

J is Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

everyone always says no for karl but YES. he does get jealous. not like angry jealous more like weirded out and uncomfy jealous. you can usually tell when he’s feeling that way.

K is for Kiss (What’s kissing them like?)

writing about kissing kinda makes me cringe but i had to think of something for k. it happens a lot probably. very sweet and loving. not just on the lips but karl will give you random kisses anywhere whenever he feels like it.

L is for Love Language (What’s their love language?)

PHYSICAL TOUCH AHHHH. constant hand holding, hugs, and cuddles. he loves being close to people he loves and it’s very obvious (i’m a karlnap shipper and analyzer sorry just had to confess)

M is for Memories (Their favourite memory with their s/o?)

karl’s favorite memories with you are usually on his days off when he just gets to spend an entire day being with you and only you. on top of that he also is very fond of the first time he ever met you and was like “ooo ahh wow you should like spend the rest of ur life with me or whatever Idk just something to think about ” lol.

N is for Nicknames (Their favourite nicknames given and received?)

nothing too soppy because i think karl would find it cringe but “babe” and “cutie” are the most frequent.

O is for Open (At what point do they start opening up to you about their life and feelings?)

after the first argument you guys have methinks. i feel like being caught in the honeymoon phase would kinda put the opening up process on hold, but once there’s a need for it it becomes a frequent thing.

P is for PDA (Are they into PDA?)

uhh not really. i know i said differently in my karl dating hc’s but i think he would find it a little cringe. hand holding is a definite because that’s simple ya know and hugging and small kisses and stuff but nothing more. he’s touchy as we all know but that’s just for you guys lol

Q is for Quiz (How much do they remember about you?)

karl loves loves LOVES knowing things about you. finding out stuff you guys have in common makes him so happy even just similarities in the ways you were raised and your childhoods and such. he’s a good listener and is always attentive. even if he wasn’t good at remembering stuff he would make the conscious effort to do so.

R is for Romantic (How romantic are they?)

he’s such a little goofball gremlin that the thought of him seriously being romantic just doesn’t feel right but. he is. he loves doing stuff for you and just telling you how much he loves you and getting emotional about it. taking you out and making you feel like the luckiest person alive :)

S is for Security (How protective/possessive are they?)

he honestly doesn’t strike me as the protective type. possessive i would say maybe a little bit. he’s just so happy to have you and so like proud of himself for getting an epic s/o lol. he would never intrude on a friendship of yours or anything but if he was uncomfortable in anyway he would let you know before acting out.

T is for Try (How much effort do they put into the relationship?)

he puts everything he can into it. with him being so busy all the time things might get rocky but he makes such an effort to spend as much time with you as he can. being there for you is something that’s really important for him as well. any disagreements you guys have is resolved asap because he definitely doesn’t like leaving things on a bad note.

U is for Uphold (How do they show you they’re proud? What kind of support do they give you?)

he talks about you lots. anything that you make him or buy him is showed off on stream and any accomplishments you’ve made he would publicly congratulate you on. just showing to the world how great he thinks you are and how proud of you he is makes you feel so supported and he always wants you to feel that way.

V is for Vaunt (Do they like to show off?)

yes obviously ur the coolest most epic person and HE gets to be with you??? biggest flex ever if you ask me.

W is for Wild Card (A random fluff headcanon.)

karl likes doing stuff at the same time as you?? i hope that makes sense. like washing the dishes together or working on stuff. he also likes watching anime or movies/tv shows at the same time as you too. if a new episode of something just came out and he has the time to watch it but you don’t, he’ll wait for you so you can do it together. couple goals lol.

X is for X-ray (How well can they read you and your emotions/feelings?)

karl cares a lot about how the people around him are feeling and i think he’s pretty good at recognizing that. he’s extremely attentive to you and always makes sure ur comfortable.

Y is for Yearning (How much do they miss their s/o when they’re gone?)

between mr beast and all the work that he does it usually hits him when he finally gets home to relax and ur not there :( he does get really upset and a little needy about it but he tries his best to just focus on the stuff he needs to get done so he doesn’t miss you too much.

Z is for Zebra (What kind of pet would they want with their s/o?)

a brown cat named Cornelius 😎

@themanifoldenjoyer @fantasy-innit @k-l-a-w-s @joyfullymulti

#mcyt headcanons #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #karl jacobs x y/n #karl jacobs x you #karl jacobs fanfic #karl jacobs preferences #karl jacobs headcanons #karl jacobs x reader #arias 1st event !!

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hawks-supremacy · 3 years

Text

Quiet Meetings

Summary: Bokuto want you to take the job as the new team manager for the MSBY Black Jackals, but you’re a little hesitant to take his offer because there’s one problem. You’re deaf.

Warnings: Panic attack

Pairing: Sakusa x Deaf!Reader

Genre: Angst? Fluff

Word Count: 2.8k

Bold = Written Italics = signed

Arriving at the address that Bokuto sent you, you made your way to the front desk where they smiled and handed you your visitors ID and went back to the call they were on. You sent a text to Bokuto saying that you were here, but you knew he wouldn’t get it until after his team was done with practice or took a break. Having been here before you made your way to the private waiting room for staff and friends.

You were visiting Bokuto on your one day off because he had been trying to convince you to be the new team manager for the MSBY Black Jackals. While you appreciated the thought you weren’t sure if you could handle being a manager to a volleyball team. Sure you managed the Fukurodani Academy’s volleyball team, but that was different. Everyone knew you there so nothing needed to be learned or taught. Your current job sucked but it was convenient for you because you didn’t need to talk to anyone and it was just computer work. Finding a good place to work while being deaf was tough, not everyone knew JSL or could be bothered to learn. Which is why you had been hesitant to agree to Bokuto’s new found job offer after the last manager suddenly quit.

You had been waiting for a half an hour before deciding to get up and get something to drink from the mini fridge in the corner of the room you were currently sitting in. Turning around after acquiring your beverage you jumped back at the sudden appearance of one of Bokuto’s teammates. Going through your head of all of Bokuto’s teammates and what he’s said about them you determined this one was Sakusa Kiyoomi. He was tall enough that you had to look up if you had wanted to speak to him, he had a curly mop of hair with two moles resting above his eyebrow, and if that didn’t give it away he was wearing a mask as well. You had remembered Bokuto mentioning he was “scared of germs”. While you weren’t 100% deaf you still couldn’t hear fully unless the person was shoulder to shoulder with you or shouting. Even then you still had to put all your focus on hearing who was talking to you or if just sounded muffled. Sakusa wearing a mask didn’t help and you didn’t quite know how to get out of this interaction.

You realized he was talking to you when he waved a hand in front of you to gain your attention. While you couldn’t see half of his face you could tell by his eyes that he was pissed and probably not talking cheerfully to you. You started panicking desperately hoping for something to get you out of this situation or for subtitles to miraculously appear next to him so you could understand why he was mad. Starting to hyperventilate you tried to turn and leave the room to hopefully find your friend but he just stepped in front of you still, what you assumed to be, yelling. Too busy trying to calm down your frantic breathing you hadn’t noticed Bokuto coming up to you and Sakusa while yelling his usual greeting.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt Bokuto touch your arm. You turned your head to give him a panicked look and you could tell he felt bad for scaring you as he pulled you into a hug and started to rub small circles into your back to calm you down. After your breathing had returned to it’s normal pace you stepped out of the hug. You quickly hid behind Bokuto embarrassed when you noticed his teammates had been there and watched the whole thing. As you rested your forehead on his back you could tell he was talking to his teammates due to the vibrations of his back.

As Bo moved you presumably to formally introduce you to everyone you moved with him still not wanting to be seen. Bo reached behind him and grabbed your wrist to move you to the side of him as he started to introduce you to his friends. While he was telling everyone about you, you looked around trying to match descriptions and names to faces. The shorter one with orange hair was Hinata, you briefly remember meeting him back in your first year during a training camp. You think the taller one with faux blond hair was named Atsumu. Then lastly there was Sakusa and you had already met him. After guessing who everyone was in your head you realized that Bo had stopped talking and Atsuma and Hinata were both talking to you.

You took a small step back and shyly looked at Bokuto. You watched as he smacked his own forehead and said something to the small group in front of you. As you watched the faces of realization sweep across all three faces you made an educated guess and assumed that he told them about your hearing or rather lack thereof. You gave everyone a small smile as you waved and turned to Bokuto.

What did you tell them? You signed, slower than you normally would since Bokuto was still learning despite being friends for so long. You were younger than Bokuto and Akaashi but your moms were all friends so you grew up together. Bokuto was still getting the hang of some of the difficult signs and still confuses some of the similar ones, but it was the thought that counts. You told him numerous times you didn’t mind texting or writing everything on the small white board you usually carry in your backpack. He insists it’s just faster if he learns to sign as well.

I told them that you were deaf so you couldn’t understand them. You giggled slightly as he struggled with some of the words. Did you think about being our manager yet? You shrugged as you looked at your shoes.

The idea itself seemed great and you wouldn’t mind getting to hang out with one of your best friends more than you already do. But you couldn’t help but be embarrassed that you can’t talk to the team like a normal manager would be able to. You don’t want to be a burden on anyone already feeling that way in your own family, you wouldn’t want to feel that way with strangers too.

Feeling a tap on your shoulder you looked up at Bokuto, You aren’t a burden stop thinking like that. Of course he knew what you were thinking he wasn’t your best friend for nothing. Please just a trial run for at least a month. There’s no games until next month so you would just help at training. You sighed as you nodded, giving in. You smiled as he picked you up and spun you before setting you down and telling the rest of the team that you were going to do a trial run for being the new manager.

You pulled on Bo’s sleeve signing that you can’t start until next week so you can quit your current job. Even if this doesn’t work out you don’t want to continue working there. After getting everything set up with the coach and meeting the rest of the team who were talking in the gym you guys went out to eat so you could get to know everyone. You wrote down what you wanted to say on your board and Bokuto wrote the answers to questions or comments that others had down for you.

A week later and you re-entered the building to meet with Bokuto but this time you would be staying and working. The guys minus Sakusa had greeted you when you entered the gym. After dinner last week you had exchanged numbers with Atsumu and Hinata then was immediately put in a group chat with the three boys becoming good friends throughout the week. You didn’t take Sakusa ignoring you when you walked into the gym personally, you figured he was still mad at you for what happened last week. Although you yourself aren’t quite sure what happened last week. He didn’t have anything to say to you during dinner and he wasn’t interested in exchanging numbers either. You shrugged it off and sat yourself at the edge of the bench while the guys warmed up.

As the guys warmed up you took out a notebook that had information for the team written down. Everyone was pretty basic, just small things they liked done differently than each other. The only one that seemed to have a big difference was Sakusa. The biggest thing was the fact that he was a germaphobe, so you went out and bought a few things to accommodate that. You bought antibacterial wipes so you could wipe down where you set his water bottle and towel down so that he doesn’t have to come near anyone to get his stuff or worry about it getting it dirty by setting it down on a dirty bench. You also bought a travel pack of hand sanitizer and some antibacterial spray for your hands. The boys had mentioned that he liked the laundry done with certain products and you made a mental note to ask him later how he wanted them done.

Looking up you noticed that they had split up and started practicing. You figured they would have a break soon so you grabbed everyone’s water bottle but Sakusas and went to go fill them up. When you were finished with that you put aside a towel for each of them to wipe away their sweat. You sanitize your hands before grabbing Sakusa’s bottle to fill up with water. You didn’t mind taking two trips if it meant he would be more comfortable. When you returned to the gym you took the wipe you had gotten out before leaving and wiped down the area you wanted to place his stuff on. Placing a towel down next to his water bottle you sat down by everyone else’s stuff. While you were doing this you hadn’t noticed a pair of eyes watching you do all this.

After you had successfully completed your first day as their manager you had read through the notes you took throughout the day. They weren’t anything too detailed mostly just who played what position. The guys were currently getting changed and showering in their locker room and you decided to wait. You still wanted to ask Sakusa about the laundry, not wanting to upset anyone.

As the boys were exiting the locker room you noticed that even if he was the first in the locker room he still wasn’t out even though everyone already left. As you thought about it you really didn’t know how you would get his attention, usually you tug on Bokuto’s sleeve but you didn’t want to invade Sakusa’s personal space. You quickly texted the group chat and asked for Sakusa’s contact information praying that someone had been on their phone at the time. As Hinata responded you made a mental note to bring him a cupcake or lunch to tomorrow’s practice.

You sent him a quick text asking if you could talk after he was done in the locker room. As he replied with a simple ‘Ok.’ you noted that he was a dry texter, or maybe he really did hate you. You hoped it wasn’t the latter. You stood up with your white board and you saw him walk out of the locker room and stopped about five feet away from him and shyly waved. You frantically waved your arms as he took off his mask and started to walk closer to you. He raised an eyebrow as you started writing on your white board, I have two white boards, you don’t have to take off your mask if you don’t want to. He nodded and you sat down on the bench to give him your spare white board and marker and he sat down with you.

Before you gave him your white board you got out your package of anti-bacterial wipes and handed them to him before handing him the board and marker. You smiled as he took everything and started disinfecting it. When he was done with everything he wrote a simple, Thank you, what did you need.

You shook your head at the fact that he was just as blunt as everyone said he was. While he was erasing his previous statement you wrote yours, Bo had mentioned that you liked the laundry done with certain products, I was wondering if you could tell me so I don’t mess it up? After reading your question he looked slightly shocked and that confused you. Is it not normal for the team manager to want to do things the way the teams like? Come to think of it Bo never did tell you why the previous one quit.

After thinking about it for a while Sakusa had written down, I’ll just text it to you. You made an “Oh” face and nodded. He handed you back the white board and started walking towards the doors, you quickly put them both away and stood up to leave.

As you exited the building you noticed it was darker then when you used to get out of work and you were thankful you didn’t live near a sketchy neighborhood. As you turned to leave you felt someone tap your shoulder and you jumped before turning around. You gave Sakusa a questioning look as he pulled out his phone, soon you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You pulled out your phone and saw a text from him asking if you wanted a ride home. You shook your head and turned again to leave but was quickly pulled towards the opposite direction. You glanced down where you felt the tugging and saw Sakusa holding the end of your sleeve while walking towards his car.

As you got in the car and buckled your seat belt you glanced at him and noticed he was watching you the whole time. You tilted your head in confusion and he pointed to the screen that was prompting you to enter in your address and you nodded and started typing it in smiling at him when you were done. On the way to your apartment you looked out the window watching all the people pass by occasionally looking at Sakusa as he drove. Before you got out of the car you quickly signed Thank you out of habit and you were about to scold yourself that you probably look dumb but you were shocked and pleasantly surprised when he signed back You’re welcome.

You stopped at your mail cubby and grabbed the few letters in there nodding at the other person in the lobby before heading to the elevator to get to your floor. You showered before you did anything else knowing Sakusa wasn’t going to text you right away about the laundry supplies. After you showered and did your nightly routine you opened the mail you retrieved, one of them being a letter from your parents and the other being a hospital bill from your monthly visit. You sighed and set the bill aside while you put the letter from your parents with the others they sent. You didn’t have the best relationship with them.

You glanced at your phone again and noticed that Sakusa had texted you six minutes ago. Listing all of the products that he used to do laundry and you quickly jotted them down in your notebook and made a mental note to get them the next time you go shopping. You sent a thank you thinking that was the last of your interaction for today when you got another text.

Sakusa: I talked with the rest of the guys and they said you think I hate you. I don’t. I feel bad that I yelled at you and basically caused you to have a panic attack. I didn’t know how to apologize or to approach you so I just avoided you. I’m sorry. I don’t do well with new people or people in general.

You laughed at the last part and quickly sent a text back saying it wasn’t his fault, and he didn’t know you were deaf. After that you had a light conversation before it ended saying he would see you at tomorrow's practice and asked if you needed a ride again. You declined saying that Bokuto was supposed to pick you up but thanked him anyway and told him to sleep well. You were glad he wasn’t mad at you or absolutely hated you. Otherwise that would’ve made for a long and awkward month.

#haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyuu imagine #sakusa imagine #haikyuu sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu kiyoomi #msby sakusa #haikyu x reader #sakusa x reader #haikyu sakusa

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aetherarf · 3 years

Note

hello! can i request modern!au zhongli , venti and xiao with their s/o that does the “just a friend prank” where the reader is on a call and they refer to the boys as a friend instead of boyfriend

Yes!

Now... how do I categorize aus... meh.

[[ Modern AU! Summary: A little prank, innocent enough, right? Just to call him your friend, just to see what he'd think...

Total Word Count: 1'045

Zhongli Word Count: 387

Venti Word Count: 243

Xiao Word Count: 415 ]]

Zhongli

What you wanted was to just relax on the couch, minding your business while Zhongli sat at the other end, doing as he pleased while he enjoyed your company... But, you heard an obnoxious blare from your phone, looking at it and seeing the caller ID of a friend... You looked over at Zhongli, who was sitting, reading a book with his reading glasses resting upon the bridge of his nose. Eh, he wouldn't mind if you took a call. You just hoped your friend didn't say anything unforgivable, he had pretty good hearing.

You answered, and brought it to your ear, "Hello?"

"Hey! We're having a little get together at the pub, can you come?"

You glanced over at Zhongli... he still wasn't paying too much attention, flicking to the next page of his novel. A devious plan popped up in your head... It couldn't go that bad, after all. While you weren't exactly secretive about your relationship with him, you hadn't told your friends you were seeing anyone just yet.

"Oh, well, I'm hanging out with a friend right now."

That stirred Zhongli's attention, and he flicked his eyes over to you, raising a single brow.

"Just bring them along! The more the merrier, you know?"

"Well, we were just relaxing..."

"I just-" You were cut off, by Zhongli speaking instead,

"I wouldn't mind going out," he said, voice louder than usual... and you realized, with that slight hint of a sly smirk on his face...

Uh oh.

"Is that him?" Your friend said, "We're going to the usual place, bring him along!"

Click.

Zhongli stood up, "I suppose I should get into something a little more... appropriate," he tugged at his pajamas.

"We don't have to go, they wouldn't be that upset if we just didn't go."

"Nonsense," he dismissed, looking you dead in the eye, "Why wouldn't you introduce one friend to others?"

Oh, oh, you knew exactly what he meant.

And that night, he would torture you with that little prank, incessantly calling himself your friend, and whenever you got... maybe a little jealous, not wanting your friends all over him, he would raise his brow, "Do I misunderstand what we are?" He would ask, not letting you say anything without massive embarrassment.

It was going to be a rough, late night.

Venti

Both of you were aimlessly scrolling on your phones, sometimes Venti played video's that were stupidly loud, and he'd grin up at you, his back against your chest, and you just sighed, rolling your eyes and minding your own business.

Eventually, you got a call, and you knew he wouldn't care if you took it, "What's up?" You asked,

"We're going clubbing! Come on, where are you at?"

Venti looked at you, eyes wide, and a smile on his face. You couldn't help but smile back, it was utterly infectious.

"I'm spending time with a friend, I'm not in the mood for clubbing."

Venti gasped, as though offended, and ripped your phone out of his hand, a grin on his face.

"They mean their BOYfriend!" He shouted into it, and hung up immediately, tossing it out of reach.

"Venti! You're so mean!" You laughed, not really upset about him ending the conversation with a friend that oftentimes pressured you, but he immediately straddled your waist, his hands on your stomach.

"But I am your boyfriend! Lying is bad," he teased.

"Lying is bad you say, as a liar." You teased back, and he tsk'd lightly,

"You're also a liar... and you know the punishment..."

You couldn't help but squeal in laughter, as his hands already were on your most ticklish spots, until you were crying and howling from his expert torture, not hearing your phone buzzing for the second, third, and fourth time.

Xiao

Xiao was curled up, watching some show you had put on the TV with incredible focus, brows furrowed and he sometimes shifted, wiggling and sometimes making small gasps when something happened. You enjoyed it, something good for background noise... But it seems you found a good way to distract him.

Your phone blared, and Xiao flinched--Your fault for not putting it on vibrate, he never did well with loud noises. He half-scrambled, half-reached for the remote, pausing the TV as he looked at you with a bitter glare.

He'd get over it. His little anger like this only lasted as long as whatever was irritating him was present.

Well... he already paused it.

"I'm taking this call, it's a friend," You explained, and he huffed, flopping onto the couch, hugging a pillow close as he waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey! What's going on?"

You glanced over at Xiao... and smiled.

"I'm spending time with a friend," That got his attention, fast, jerking his head to glare-no, stare at you. He just had an angry looking face at times.

And, then the two of you chatted awhlie, you finally leaving the room to give Xiao the peace and quiet he wanted... But you never heard the TV resume, you wondered idly if he was waiting for you.

"This has been fun, but I gotta go,"

"Oh, alright, bye! Let's go out next week!"

"Yeah, bye." You hung up, and walked back over, sitting down next to Xiao... he was still hugging that one pillow, but he wasn't focused on anything, his hands gripping tightly on the pillow, then loosening, then gripping again.

You sat down next to him.

"Xiao... are you okay?" You asked, and he looked up at you with no small amount of fear in his eyes, his expression quite vulnerable.

"Am I just your friend?" He asked, his voice small and quiet...

Oh.

You didn't think he'd react badly to a little joke. You scooted closer, and rested your hand on his leg,

"No, no... I was just teasing you. I love you, XiaoXiao."

He didn't seem all that convinced... But when you leaned back, holding out your arms, like a cold cat coming in from the rain, he sought out your warmth and practically curled up on your lap, and you turned the TV back on.

He was back to his intent staring.

Oh well, at least he seemed alright... Good to know, he was more than a little sensitive about your relationship.

#genshin impact #modern au #zhongli #xiao #venti #bark writes #fluff #fluffy bark #anonymous #request

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whosjunglejim4322 · 3 years

Text

Cobra Hybrid! Yukhei/ fighter AU

Warnings: pussy eating, breeding kink, competitive fighting, bl**d, mentions of open wounds, eagle hybrid Xiaojun, scorpion hybrid Hendery, minor mentions of getting high, angst, mentions of near death experiences, fluff bc Xuxi loves u an unhealthy amount

The sky outside of your bedrooms hopper window is scattered with rich hues of deep violet and burgundy, a sight that is too captivating to not sit and admire for at least a moment while your food cools off on your beside table.

You've always been particular about the temperature, needing it hot enough to burn your palms but not the surface of your tongue.

You smile warmly to yourself as you think of Yukhei, the way he can practically scarf anything down no matter the heat. You've had to physically stop him from inhaling piping hot ramen quite a few times, though he never listens. "Its okay, promise!I like when it's hot!"

Stubborn boy.

The colors above seem to dissipate by the second into shades that better suit the nighttime hour, not even a quarter of the sun peeking from below the horizon as the city below continues to buzz with work commutes, or perhaps lovers that are eager to be in the same space their partners occupy.

You sigh ruefully, knowing that it's just your suboncious missing a certain doe eyed, raven haired boy.

It hasn't even been two days since you last saw eachother, the navy blue sweatshirt that he wore over still hanging off the corner of your dresser, the scent of patchouli and cedarwood clinging to the fabric.

Your fingers reach out to undo the latch that keeps your window closed, the cool, dusk air gentle against your cheeks.

You know you shouldn't worry about him, he's with Hendery and Xiaojun and the others and they're all celebrating YangYang's birthday in his uncles house near Shenzhen.

At least that's what his last message said, and truly, you're not one to be overly nosey or obsessive. But the thought of Yukhei, your Yukhei, back in that poisonous red ring with barbarous eyes latched onto his body, eager for his blood to spill across the white floor-

You feel your throat tighten at the thought, eyes closing as you inhale through your nose, the air not as thick with smog this time of year and allowing for at least somewhat of a peace of mind.

You find the juxtaposition to the outside world, and the world that lies below the boutiques and indie music shops and niche cafes, to be sardonically humorous.

It makes sense, strangely, that the evil and greed that people possess would no doubt be thrumming with a life of its own in the hybrid world, even more so than that of the human world, sometimes.

And for hybrids like Yukhei, the ones with a little more strength, a little more aggression once the animal that coexists with their dna is provoked, for a king cobra; merchants practically frothed at the mouth when your boyfriend put himself up for rivalry.

It was the last thing he ever wanted to do, and not just because the clubs usually smelled of dry blood and spit among other noxious substances, or because of the fact that his body felt as if it had been hit by a train every morning when he awoke.

It's because of how you sobbed when you found out. Your eyes and nose raw with the fury in which you had rubbed them, your body shaking. It hurt more than anything, more than a fierce kick to the jaw or a pair of canines ripping into the flesh of his shoulder.

It was agoninzing, almost more so than the fact that he had to do it in order to pay off some stupid, futile debt that he owed.

It was a nefarious fox hybrid who helped him out of an almost brawl at a club downtown during the time he worked there, fixing drinks sometimes, or lending a hand in securing the canvas and apron that was needed for the fighting ring.

It was easy work for him, and he needed the money if he wanted to get through school by even a little, but the people who occupy spaces like that, they weren't too keen on a snake hybrid being allowed in during daytime hours; helping or not.

It was just a bigheaded bull, a new bartender who caught a glimpse of the few iridescent scales that gleamed acrosss the expanse of his shoulder blade, and before he could even smell the unprompted vexation wafting off of the hulking man- he was thrown across the room.

He was nearly impaled on the bar top, nearly. Though the fox jumped in almost too eagerly after the bull busted your boyfriend's top lip open, introducing himself as the owner and kicking the aggressor off of Yukhei after professing his status.

As far as the story goes, the owner was still quite upset at the fact that two bottles of expensive liquor had been busted and wasted in the whole debacle, news to Yukhei since he had been, well, fearing for the safety of his face due to the close proximity of six inch horns.

So, it was lose a decent job and have no other options left as such a reclusive breed, or use his strengths to his advantage.

You shudder everytime you think of the ladder. Nothing prepared you for hearing that from Xiaojun's mouth, for seeing him look so weak, so close to the brink of deterioration. He looked broken.

Your noodles are cold now, and you curse yourself for allowing your thoughts to wander off to a place so unnecessary to revisit.

You're too tired to heat them back up, moving from your window sill to your quaint, welcoming bed. You peel the thick comforter back and nestle yourself into the warmth, grabbing your old (but still functioning) laptop in hopes of finding something new to watch on netflix. You have too much of a habitual personality to start a new t.v. show, but a movie might suffice.

It's hard to focus your attention elsewhere, to not to think of him. He's the type of person that you can't ever get used to seeing upclose, so effortlessly beautiful it's almost painful, an ache in the pit of your chest.

Maybe that's silly to say, but it's not jusy because you're sickeningly in love with him. It's this force that he carries with him, like he's made of pure, raw sunlight.

You close your eyes for a moment, picturing the way his plush lips feel against yours when he smiles into a kiss, noses touching and giggles resonating in his throat as you play with the wild strands of his perpetually fluffy hair.

You think of all the things that make him inherently him. His hands, the way they always seem to be steady and gentle, elegant, despite their size. Even when he caresses your cheek with the back of his knuckles, it's featherlight.

It's in his nature to be so agile, so stealthy in his movements. You sometimes forget he's a snake hybrid at all, his outside appearance similar to a lion shifter, or a wolf.

It's probably the most unobvious thing about him, unless he were to take his clothes off and reveal the miscellaneous littering of scales across his broad back and shoulders.

They're similar to his eyes in the way that they're usually onyx until they glimmer under light, ranging from shades of dazzling silver to veridian. You think of the way he hums in satisfaction everytime you run your fingertips along the surface, eyes captivated with wonder.

You jolt in surprise as your phone rings obnoxiously loud, your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance at the prospect of your pleasant thoughts being so rudely interrupted. Your indignation vanishes when you see the caller ID.

Hendery 🦂 is calling...

"Hello?" Your voice is neutral for the most part, the rational side of your mind trying not to panick so suddenly.

That doesn't last long once you hear the troubled pang in the hybrids voice, the hairs on the back of your neck standing straight up.

"Hey, uh- I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry to have to- look Yukhei is hurt-" You're sure all the blood in your body has suddenly been drained, stomach twisting as the words fly from Hendery's mouth. "We can't go to the hospital, Yangyang isn't with us and-"

This can't be happening. Not again. Who lied? Did they all lie?

"Is it the same club?" The stillness in your voice is unsettling, though you're pretty sure you might be going into shock at this point. You can't feel your limbs properly.

"Yes." He replies bleakly, and your fingers tremble as they end the call.

It's like you knew, you always know. There's something about being with Yukhei that has given you a sort of second sense, it's like knowing when a step is missing and you're about to trip.

You know you're going well over the speed limit, skin pulled fiercly over your knuckles with the force in which you're gripping the steering wheel. You're only aware you're crying when streaks of warmth cascade down your cheeks and soak into Yukhei's sweatshirt that you threw on before leaving.

You never wanted to be back here, navigating the slim dark streets to find that familiar, seemingly abandoned building with a simple red logo spray painted on the side. It can only be understood by hybrids, humans not able to translate.

The building is tucked so far back behind the city, it makes for an incredibly unpleasant journey, along with an already unpleasant destination. It's a dark corner in a place full of light. It's the door to a shadow world, to the creatures that find comfort in malice and anguish.

You're surprised you've arrived so fast, not even aware of the strange, curious glances you've been getting by passerbys. No doubt wondering what a little human girl is doing in one of the most dangerous, underground parts of the city.

But they can't touch you, not legally anyways. It's forbidden for hybrids to harm humans, and none of them would dare risk exposing their little side show for a taste of a mundane.

It's Xiaojun you spot first, his conspicuous head of nearly white hair sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the darkness of the alleyway. It's only as you approach that you can see he's slumped under the weight of Yukhei, who's figure is akin to a wilting flower.

You feel your stomach lurch, though adrenaline is what drives you to throw yourself out of the car like a madman, leaving the door open and all to run to his side. You share a brief glance with a wide eyed Hendery, gesturing towards the car as your knees scrape fiercly against the pavement.

You almost don't want to look at him completely, gaze set on Xiaojun as you round to the other side and slip yourself underneath Yukhei's heavy arm. You can't, however, ignore the blood that sticks to your skin, nor the scent of it clinging to him. He murmurs your name with a strained cry, your knees wobbling.

It's a complete blur, happening in what you guess is only about two to three minutes. Yukhei slurs his words as you and the blonde haired hybrid hoist him up with all your strength, agonized groans bellowing from his throat while you move him to the back seat.

You help to manuever his long legs into the car, every bruised, wounded, and bloody part of him visible now underneath the light above your heads. It's even worse than before. How can it be worse?

You throw yourself in beside him, Xiaojun slamming the door shut before he sprints to the passengers seat, Hendery hitting the throttle as soon as everyone is secure inside the vehicle.

You turn to your boyfriend, your love. You have to resist the urge to reach out and touch him, terrified to accidentally skim past a laceration. You whisper his name into the darkness, hoping that he'll answer and that he won't disappear before your very eyes.

Getting him inside of their apartment complex isn't easy. And not just because it takes two of you to carry him, his body too weak to do much of anything; it's mostly because carrying a half dead looking hybrid to an elevator isn't really the most optimal option.

Luckily Hendery knows how to pick the lock to the fire escape hatch in the back of the complex, allowing the four of you to somewhat subliminally carry him up two flights of stairs before finally arriving at apartment 236.

Not the essiest thing you've ever done. But none of that matters, nothing matters right now except for him.

"Couch!" Xiaojun yells, Hendery two steps ahead of him, pushing the old coffee table in the center of the livingroom to the far right corner.

Yukhei stammers before you both set him onto the piece of furniture as gently as you can, a choked whimper being the only sound he can make. It's even worse in this light, all the shared meals and nights binge watching movies suddenly lightyears away. Now this room is tainted with the sight of him falling apart.

"What do we do? Oh god, what do we do?" You speak through a broken sob, on your knees next to your boyfriends limp figure, his long limbs hanging off the side of the couch while his head struggles to stay upright.

You don't even realize Hendery has ran off until he is jogging back with a first aid kit that probably won't do any good, not in this situation. He reads the uncertainty and disbelief in your expression, quickly rebuttling.

"Venom, we need his venom," He and Xiaojun share a look that you don't quite understand, but you're too overwhemled to question it right now. "We just need to clean him up first, as best as we can."

He hands you a warm, damp washcloth and you are quick to bring it to Yukhei's face, the only place that isn't too damaged to touch and somewhat tamper with. His swollen eyes struggle to stay open, but once your hand caresses his sweltering cheek, he uses all of the strength he has to mutter your name.

"I'm so- sorry, you don't...you don't under..understand."

You place a gentle finger to his busted lips, pulling back immediately as his eyebrows furrow and he winces, not yet aware of the two others pouring some sort of unfamiliar disinfectant onto the open wounds.

"Shh, not right now. We gotta get you fixed up, okay? It's gonna be alright."

The words are probably more comforting to yourself, though nothing is comfortable at a time like this. Everything is happening so fast, Hendery gently pushing you to the side and whispering something to Yukhei that is inaudible to your human ears.

He nods weakly, and you can't hide your horror nor contain the frightening gasp that escapes your throat when Xiaojun approaches and bares his claws, shoving them into your boyfriends side.

You're frozen in place, time stopping for a an infinite moment as you sit and watch what's unfolding. Hendery muffles Yukhei's agonized shout initially, removing his hand when he realizes that the cobras fangs have been ejected.

He holds a vile up to his mouth, puncturing the top open with the sharp edge of his tooth, allowing the sticky clear venom to drip down into the glass container. You've never seen Yukhei's fangs before, mostly because snake hybrids and cobras alike aren't one to use them unless absolutely necessary.

Life or death.

It happens quick, Xiaojun with a needle inbetween his deft fingers, likely from the inconspicuous looking first aid kit, pulling the venom through the syringe before handing it to Hendery to inject into your boyfriends carotid artery.

His body stiffens as if he's gone into shock, veins protruding from his skin and pulsing like his heart beat has gone past the safe amount of BPM.

And then, he's still, so still it feels like you're getting a glimpse of what it's like to lose him, and you still can't find the strength of the willpower to move.

"He'll be okay, I promise,"

Hendery is by your side in an instant, panting as perspiration drips from his forehead. "He just needs to rest, he's the only type of hybrid who can use his own venom as a healing agent."

It feels like you've stepped into a different dimension, like somehow now is the time that your brain finally begins to over process the fact that none of these boys are human and that monsters really do exist.

They're not the monsters. You're not bothered by their otherworldy state of being in the slightest, but there's something in the way that they speak that makes it seem as though you're missing a vital detail, like a page ripped straight from the spine of a book. A page that could very well determine the entire stories fate.

"Where's Yangyang? And the birthday?" Your voice is barely above a whisper, incredulity in your tone.

He and the blonde haired eagle look guilty beyond belief, hesitancy in their eyes. The anger that boils inside of you, starting from your toes and rising to your ears, pushes you to stand to your feet and move past them to where Yukhei lies.

Theur admittance to whatever the fuck is going on, can come later. You don't trust yourself right now anyways, too angry, too overcome with grief to yell or shout or throw things in the way you wish to.

You sit by his side, and reach out to brush his tousled hair out from in front of his scraped forehead, examining the violet and burgundy hues that blooms from underneath his honey colored skin.

"I love you, I'll always be here."

You whisper, lying your head against the cushion next to his, exhaustion suddenly clouding your brain and allowing you to forget, just for a second, that you almost lost him.

The sunlight burns red from behind your eyelids, last nights events not yet in the forefront of your brain until you hear the low timbre of voices from the other room, haunting images forcing you awake.

You sit up too fast, head pounding from the restless sleep you've endured. You realize you're in someones bed when you kick off a familiar pair of black sheets from your feet, the setting around you like a second home. Yukhei's room. Someone must have carried you here during the night.

You're quicker and more eager than you've ever been in the morning, feet carrying you towsrds the half open door as you practically sprint into the livingroom, expecting to see him lying there as immobile as he was last night; preparing yourself for the worst.

But you don't see anyone on the couch, in fact. It takes you a moment to register that everyone is in the kitchen, huddled around the island. You're too beside yourself to realize that the broad, tan back that's facing you belongs to him, until he turns around.

You don't get a good look at his face, already smashing yourself against his chest with a force that doesn't even budge him. You gasp suddenly, recoiling in fear as you step away, terrified that you've hurt him.

His long arms are still open expectantly, doe eyes glossy as he stares back at you in confusion, your expression as shocked as it is dubious. He's healed. Well, not completely. Your fingers trace over the scabs that have formed where gashes and lacerations once were just hours before.

He pulls you to him again by your elbows, and you look up at him through wet lashes to see that the bruises are no longer a severe shade of purple and blue, only slightly yellow.

It doesn't take many more glances before you're forcing yourself up onto your tippytoes, grasping his cheeks in your palms and pressing your mouth against his.

His arms enclasp you fiercly, nearly making it hard to breathe but you don't care, not at all. Not when he's whole and alive and smells like himself again, not when he's kissing you like it's been years since you've last seen eachother.

When you part you realize that Yangyang and Kun are here, and the confusion that you harbored last night for their actions and secret glances, has you reluctantly pulling away from the embrace of your lover.

You see it now, the fear and worry that colors his expression. All of their expressions. Your eyes are suddenly fierce, fists clenching by your sides as your nails form crescents into the flesh of your palms.

"Someone better tell me what the everliving fuck is going on and why this happened again," You've never been so furious, have never lashed out as anyone as angrily as you are right now.

"A birthday party? Really? That's the excuse you came up with?!" Yukhei hangs his head in shame, knowing that it's in all of their best interest to let you finish. It's only fair.

"And you all knew, every single one of you let him walk into that ring again, every single one of you were okay with letting him die!" Your voice rises an octave, fresh tears now springing from your tired eyes.

"And I know there's something more, you're all shit liars. I just don't know what's going on and I dont know why, I just need to know why?" You sound defeated this time, covering your face in your hands as the cobra cradles your head against his chest.

You're too weak to pull away, too run dry to sob any longer.

Kun is the first to speak.

"His venom, it's-" You can only guess that someone glares at him, Hendery murmuring to his elder to let Yukhei tell you himself.

You finally glance up, meeting the teary eyed gaze of the man you love, who looks as terrified as he does stricken with unidentifiable emotions. He's silent as he deliberates with himself mentally, looking over his shoulder and nodding to the group in a silent understanding, before gently guiding you towards his room.

Venom, money, high.

These words echo in your brain as you sit across from Yukhei on his bed, his eyes too scared to meet yours as he finally finishes his explanation.

It's the whole hearted truth, as painful as it is to admit to the one person in this world who he so desperately wants to protect. But it had to be done, for your sake and for his.

"So the drinks you were making, they were filled with your venom...and people drank it willingly?"

You're still struggling to understand, no anger or shame laced in your voice as he expected, though it still doesn't lighten the indescribable weight that sits on his chest. He swallows.

"It's like...it's like a high for some people, or like being drunk but to an extreme, euphoric level," He anxiously picks at the skin beside his nail beds.

"The fox knew he could profit off of it, but it's still taboo. He was my employer and could easily pass me off as a crooked cobra hybrid who was sneaking my venom into drinks for secret cash. So he told me if I wanted to stop, for good, I had the chance to get my get out of jail free card during the upcoming fight,"

Your heart feels as if it might rip through your shirt, the pain and obvious regret in his voice tangible. It all makes since bow, though, in hindsight. Though you still don't understand why the others were so involved.

As if he read your mind, he continues.

"And Hendery, Xiaojun...they were just protecting me. They'd wait and make sure that I left the club everynight unharmed, and they knew the cost of confronting the fox. Hendery's venom as a scorpion is lethal, so he couldn't get involved for obvious reasons. They weren't happy or okay with any of it, I just didn't have a choice."

You suddenly feel like the guilty one now, chest heavy as the pieces of the gigantic, horrifying, and confusing puzzle finally come together.

It's alot to take it, more than you were prepared for. And your anger isn't directed at them anymore, in fact wvery ounce of fire that had been raging inside of you burns at the idea of that stupid fucking fox doing all of this for cash.

Sensing that he's still worried you're upset, you reach out to grab his fidgeting hands, his chin lifting only slightly as to peer at you through his dark lashes.

When you crawl over to him and on his lap, he looks dumbfounded. Even more so as you kiss him gently, softer than a rose petal as your thumb caresses the apple of his cheek.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I'm so so sorry." Tears slip past your waterline before you can contain them and he kisses them away just as quickly, voice incredulous.

"Baby no, don't apologize, ever," He lifts your face to his, eyes wide and full of reverie. "I'm okay, I'm okay because you were there and I promise with my entire heart and soul to never get wrapped up in that shit ever again, ever."

You kiss him again, the taste of tears not bothering either of you. You just need to feel him, to remind yourself that he's not going anywhere. You can't shake the thought of how he looked last night.

"I almost lost you, Yukhei you...I thought I'd wake up and you'd be gone and I'd never get to kiss you again or hear your laugh," He's crying now, too, silently as he closes his eyes and you bury your face against his neck. His hands cradle you as if he has the entire world in his grasp.

"Shh I'm here, m'not going anywhere baby. I'll stay forever with you."

And he means it to his very core, feels it in his bones, solidifed as you kiss him again and again like he suplies the air in your lungs. You're both so in love with every fiber of your being, so enraptured in the feeling of one another.

When you push at his chest to silently ask him to lie down, he's quick to assert who's taking care of who, eagerly gripping your soft waist and letting your back fall against his mattress.

"My sweet angel," You arch into his touch as his plush mouth nibbles the soft skin underneath your jaw, traveling across the expanse of your throat and to the sides of your neck. "Let me make you feel good, been so patient with me."

It dawns om him that you're wearing his hoodie and he swears his heart throbs in his chest, quick fingers pulling the garment over your head and tossing it to the side with your shirt underneath, before continuing his descent.

He's shamless in the way he cups your breasts in his wide palms, gazing up at you through slitted eyes as his pink tongue flicks over one of the hardening buds. You reach out to touch any part of him you can, whining as he repeats the action on the opposite breast.

He wanders even further down, across every inch of your tummy, humming all the while in satisfaction at how sweet you smell between your legs, at how needily you whine for him.

He's all too excited now, pulling the shorts from your body with a force that should've ripped them in half, kissing your inner thighs sweetly but not as earnestly as he'd like. He's just too focused on the enticing sight of your glistening sex, mouth practically watering.

He doesn't wait for you to prepare yourself, digging in immediately. Your hands fly to his hair, fingers tangling themselves in the strands as his mouth encloses around your throbbing clit, suckling before he licks a broad stripe over your folds.

"Yu-yukhei...oh!" Your thighs threaten to close around his head but he holds them open with an inescapable grip, endulging himself wholeheartedly as he slurps and licks at every drop of juice that flows from you.

It's a maddening sort of pleasure, your toes curling and belly tightening. His nose is pressed against your pubic mound as he keeps his mouth over your center, wriggling his head back and forth as his tongue flicks over your clit at an inhuman pace.

"Ah, I can't- oh fuck." You're blabbering incoherently, though it only drives him further. He relishes in the way you're writhing underneath him, the way you're so wet just for him and him only.

"Want you to cum on my tongue, can you do that for me?"

All you can do is cry out in response, bucking your hips against his mouth as he prods at your entrance with the tip of his tongue. You're so close it's humiliating, but he's elated, already sensing your orgasm in the way your walls throb and pulse with every lick to your bud.

The sounds are so nasty, so lewd in the way your wetness combined with his saliva is so audible in the small room.

You cum without a warning, not being able to speak or do much of anything except jerk and twitch as he keeps his mouth on you, unrelenting in his determination to taste your release.

You whimper.

"Fuck me, please Xuxi p-please."

You beg softly, with half lidded eyes and he reluctantly lifts himself from your center with dark yet gentle eyes, mouth saturated in your juices. He can't resist you.

He kisses you like this, and you don't complain one bit. Not when he's got his pants down faster than you can blink, gripping his thick shaft and rubbing the ruby hued tip of his cock against your sensitive clit.

"Want me to fill you up, huh? Want me to make you mine forever and ever."

You're unable to verbally respond when he pushes himself in, not even an ounce of friction due to a mixture of your cum and his spit coating your walls as well as the inside of your thighs. He buries himself to the hilt, your hands on his broad back.

His pace is determined but not frantic, body held up by his forearms so he can continue to kiss you while his dick spears into you. Your lips are one of his favorite parts about you, so soft, the perfect size to slot right against his.

"Yes Xuxi, want you to give me all your cum, pretty p-please."

He supresses a hiss, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you wrap your thighs around his middle, heels pressing into his lower back.

"Mm, gonna give you my babies," He doesn't miss the way your walls flutter around him, as he pulls himself almost all the way out before sheathing himself inside of you once more. "Want you to be leaking with my cum for a w-whole week."

You whimper, and it drives him mad. His hips are agile and precise as he fucks into you now, controlled and skilled. He knows exactly where your sweet spot is, exactly what has you clinging onto him for dear life.

"You're s-so big, missed your dick, missed you."

He's the one whining now, scattering wet kisses under your jaw, nibbling your earlobe. It's like no other sensation, being together like this. You can't tell where he ends and you begin, all you can do is feel.

"You like my big dick, hmm? Want me to stuff that pretty pussy full." His words are filthy, but his candence is sweet like honey, earnest in the way his voice trembles. He's just as high on pleasure as you are.

"Please, please, yes."

His thrusts become harsher in the way he fucks back into you, reaching past your cervix. Your fingers bury themselves into the dark strands of his hair as quiet whimpers bubble from your throat, senses overwhelmed with Yukhei Yukhei Yukhei.

It doesn't help that he's so vocal in your ear, the deep timber of his groans sending chills down your spine and causing your belly to fill with heat, spreading throughout your limbs like wildfire.

It's not just fucking, this feels like what making love really is. It's a reunion in more ways than one, a solidification of your bond. You wish it could last forever, the scent of his skin, the softness of it. You can feel every muscle in his body strained with the strength he uses to please you, to reach depths that have your toes curling.

When you turn your head to kiss the skin just below his ear, his hips falter.

"Oooooh, shit baby m'gonna cum, fuck."

You pull his face from your shoulder to smash his lips against yours, cradling his face as he cups the back of your neck. His tongue slips inside your mouth, and you purposely squeeze your walls around his length.

He mewls, cursing under his breath. "Cum for me, please Yukhei," He's looking right into your eyes, lips kiss bitten, skin flushed. "Make sure you give me every last drop."

He's done for, hair sticking to his forehead, a broken groan straining to leave his throat as he pushes himself as deep as possible, both of you watching each others expression in the process.

"I love you I love you I love you." He chants, while spurts of his cum paint your walls white. You unravel when you look down between your bodies for a fleeting moment, catching a glimpse of the amount he's released as he disappears inside of you over and over again.

He kisses your face as you struggle to grasp onto him, the pleasure too much to handle, physically and emotionally. It has tears springing from your eyes, nails digging into his biceps as he continues to fuck you through it.

"I love you too, I love you so much." You finally reply, finding the strength to speak no matter how slurred and sleepy it might sound.

He smiles warmly with irrevocable adoration, eyes crinkling at the corners. He strokes your cheek with the soft pad of his thumb, leaning down to peck your nose, and then your forehead, and then your eyelids.

"You have my entire heart," He professes. "I'll always be here."

"Guess I saw that cumming."

Xiajun glares at Hendery.

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