#idk if I’ve mentioned this but I got to college in the south and my school has literally stopped naming residence halls after peopld

[the-starlight-papers]

I’m so tired of my physics lab group because it’s me and then a bunch of guys who went to the same Christian high school in the same town as my university and they just talk about guns all the time.

Today one guy was telling a story about his cousin who’s in Communications so the professors are more liberal so she has to deal with them “talking about pronouns and crap.” Same guy has a sticker on his phone that says “I support FREE SPEECH not ~POLITICAL CORRECTNESS~”

Of course they were all talking about the Citadel shooting in Nashville too and how the shooter was trans.

@the-starlight-papers

#idk if it’s better or worse than my engineering class with the professor who makes a decent number of off color jokes #and is constantly toeing the line of what would get him reported to administration #some guy in engineering class today literally said ‘I’m racist’ and even that professor was like 😬 #engineering ​professor also told some kid who was mouthing off that ‘you make me wish I wasn’t pro life’ #engineering professor then started joking that he was going to snap one day because of said kid and then asked us where we would run #I hate engineering sometimes because it’s majority male and majority white #so some people feel like they can just say anything #idk if I’ve mentioned this but I got to college in the south and my school has literally stopped naming residence halls after peopld #and also buildings #they’re all named after their geographic locations #ie Hilltop East and Hilltop West or South English Building #(those are all made up btw but the real ones are basically the same idea) #it also sucks sometimes because sometimes I’m in a student engineering team lab working on a project #and then the guy I’m in the lab working with alone is looking at a flyer for a transphobic speaker coming to campus #in the groupme for the organization that’s bringing him #and then I have to worry about is it safe for me to work on this project with this guy #and it’s been fine so far mostly because we either talk about the project or classes or nothing at all #and I don’t want to join the women in engineering clubs because I’m not a woman #and for my engineering team I’m worried I’ll be the token trans person and they’ll want to put me in their social media outreach or somethin #which maybe if we were back in my home state I’d agree #but here heck no #like I’m fine 95% of the time and then there’s the 5% of the time that makes me realize that what’s acceptable here is fucked up sometimes #and I should probably start standing up to some of these people and saying something #but also I have to keep working with these people and I want to make working with them as painless as possible #there’s been other things lately that have been fucked up too that are kinda specific to the point where I can’t share them here #but yeah #anyways psa to any NMS reading this #if you’re looking at going to a college that offers really generous full rides to all NMS #think about why they’re so desperate to get good student to come to their school

[supportingfire]

              so here’s a fucking vent idk where else to put but as a floridian STILL riding out this shit, i’ve been seeing a lot of gross shit on social media regarding SW florida and the people still there. 

“why didn’t you evacuate?”

“you should have listened. this will be a lesson for you.”

“you had plenty of time.”

             FIRST AND FUCKING FOREMOST these people who say shit like this , i can guarantee, more than 90% of them have never lived in a major hurricane state, much less florida, because they wouldn’t say shit like this. there is so much that goes into the decision to up and leave, and this is coming from someone who evacuated way back when we were slammed by four hurricanes within a month in ‘04. we stayed for charley, and my mom didn’t think our house would last another one right after, so we left. she cried in the car as we crossed over into georgia, while i held my two cats with my brother in the backseat. we were LUCKY ENOUGH to have a vehicle to get us out, and money to make arrangements elsewhere. but we almost didn’t. 

            you have to have a lot of resources available to be able to just up and leave. you never know how long you’re gonna have to stay away, first of all, not to mention you don’t have guaranteed availability ANYWHERE (hotels book up quicker than graduation weekend at your local college) and even if you do find accommodations, a lot of them don’t cater to pets or disabled guests. my grandmother is at an ALF nearby and thankfully we felt safe enough for her to stay there, consider the elderly and disabled who don’t have that luxury. are they expected to just up and leave, too? and if they didn’t do they deserve the ten feet of water destroying their lives, or worse, fucking actual death? you need a means of transportation, money, and somewhere to go. having access to all three of these is a privlidge. 

“you had a week. you knew it was coming.”

            when you live somewhere where hurricanes happen so often it’s literally a season, like fucking winter and summer, you treat these kinds of things a little differently. yes, we knew ian was brewing, yes we knew it had potential, but there was no actual guarantee where and when it would hit. imagine going to your boss and saying “i need two weeks off because of a potential.” right now, as i type this at 11:30 on thursday DAY OF, we got hit with the eyewall TWO HOURS AGO, and i am still expected to clock in and work remotely “if i am avaialble to do so.” and i have the luxury of being able to do remote work. a lot of middle class people do not. they stayed to work. they stayed to keep the lights on, and they stayed to see what was going to happen. the trajectory of this hurricane changed within hours, and fort myers had no chance. naples had no chance. to assume you know better than the people who actually live and work and die here, shame on you. not to mention, when you issue “mandatory evacuation” and offer NO HELP to facilitate it, that’s basically the state going “well, we’re not going to take responsibility, we told you to leave.” its desantis and florida absolving themselves of responsibility for the outcome of it’s people. “just go to a shelter” ALSO A FUCKING ABLEIST THING TO SAY. 

            when evac orders started to roll in, it was almost too late. twelve hours might seem like a long time to you but when you’re on a peninsula, it feels like there’s one way out, and there kind of is. it’s north. some people took a gamble and went south to miami, and even miami got some severe rain and wind. people evac’d tampa TO FORT MYERS thinking they’d be a little bit better off, only for ian to take a fucking right turn and go south and slam fort myers FIRST. this happened within six hours. 

            and finally, yES there are assholes and idiots who go by the mentality that “floridians are built different” and “we’ll be fine, lets have a party!” and they stayed, and they got far more than they were expecting. they got a very, very harsh lesson about taking weather warnings seriously. i have a great uncle who was one of them, and there’s a good chance he didn’t make it through this, no one’s heard from him. does that mean they deserve having their entire lives destroyed? do they deserve to die for being cocky and stupid? the utter lack of compassion from other people blows my fucking mind. SW florida is going to be feeling this one for a long fucking time. death tolls haven’t come out yet because WE’RE STILL DEALING WITH IT. 

            i’m so fucking livid, being on tiktok trying to find updates. there’s a woman on a literal pool float in HER OWN LIVING ROOM as water rises, only for the comments to be “should have left” or “dumb for staying.” how fucking dare you. 

           fuck this man. if you can help, please help, whether it be monetarily or just spreading some sort of compassion. below is a twit thread i found of some reputable organizations providing help on the ground. we’re doing alright in orlando, downtown flooded a lot and i imagine roads will be closed a few days, but southwest florida is literally underwater. please be kind and please be compassionate. 

https://twitter.com/ChelseaClinton/status/1575232946860331008

https://www.newsnationnow.com/weather/hurricane-ian-latest/hurricane-ian-florida-heres-how-you-can-help/ <-- a news article advising how to help

#long post #vent / / #( ( ooc #( ( tbd #i'm emotionally overwhelmed #please keep sw florida in your hearts and minds today #this storm absolutely devestated them #ask to tag #death ment tw

[atlabeth]

let it snow - john b routledge x fem!reader

summary: a handsome stranger makes your time stuck at the airport a whole lot less miserable.

a/n: this idea has been in my head for a while and my boy jb always needs more appreciation so here u go. i did this instead of my gov chapter. things are not canon here btw as its implied that both jb's parents are alive and together and there's no mention of obx plot. just a fun lil christmas fic

also don't worry about why john b is in new york. we'll just say he goes to one of the cuny's idk

warning(s): none!

wc: 2.7k 

“Attention, all passengers for flight 375 to Norfolk — we regret to inform you that due to inclement weather, the flight has been delayed an additional 90 minutes, until 7:30 PM. If you have any questions, please see the front desk at your gate. We apologize, and thank you for your patience.”

You heaved a sigh and let your head fall back against the airport seat that became increasingly uncomfortable with every hour that passed. As you closed your eyes, you were ready to resign yourself to the fate of being stuck in LaGuardia for the rest of your life. Not even the Starbucks that you had decided to treat yourself with was helping, as like the rest of New York (and probably the United States), it had gone cold.

“With a reaction that bad, you’ve got me thinking our flight’s been delayed again.”

You hardly bothered to move your head as you opened your eyes, nodding solemnly to the stranger who was unfortunate enough to be in the same boat as you. “If you’re on 375 going to Norfolk, then yeah. For the fourth time.”

The stranger grimaced and checked his phone. “Ouch. Guess this is what we get for trying to fly in December, huh?”

You chuckled and finally adjusted your sitting position back to normal, trying not to let your eyes linger on the surprisingly attractive boy that was definitely around your age striking up conversation with you. “Yeah. My parents are gonna be so pissed — I can’t wait for all the ‘I told you to fly home earlier!’ and ‘you should’ve just stayed home for all of winter break!’”

He laughed. “Good luck with that.” He shrugged his backpack off so it hung over one shoulder and gestured at the seat next to you with his head. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” you said with a flourish of your hand towards it. “If I’m gonna be stuck here for another hour and a half, I’d prefer someone like you over my midterm essay.”

He smiled and settled in next to you, placing his bag on the floor and extending a hand for you to shake. “I’m John B, by the way. Figured you should know the name of the guy you’re gonna be stuck with for the next while.”

You shook his hand and said your name as well, though a slight crease formed in your brows. “John B, huh? What’s the B for?”

John B cracked a grin. “Booker. It’s my middle name — my dad’s John too, so it’s a way to tell us apart. I’m from a pretty small place, so it’s just stuck.”

You sat back as you nodded thoughtfully. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, John Booker. What’s got you stuck in LaGuardia on December 24th?”

He shrugged. “Goin’ home for winter break, just like any other college kid. It’s just that I ended up spending a lot of time with my college friends, which means that my OBX friends are gonna be even more annoyed that I’m coming home so late.”

You grinned. “No way.”

John B raised his eyebrows, his mouth raising in that cute little half smile that he seemed to be fond of. “What?”

“What are the odds?” you asked with a small laugh. “I’m headed to the Outer Banks too.”

This time, he let out one of his own. “Wow. Small world, huh?” But then he frowned, pulling one of his legs up to his chest in the chair. “But like I said, the OBX is a pretty small place. I know basically everyone there, but I’ve never seen you before. What’s up with that?”

“I’m not from there,” you explained. “I’m a New York native, actually — just south of Rochester. My dad goes all over for business, and recently it landed him in the Outer Banks. That’s where home is for now, so it’s where I’m going too.”

John B nodded again, turning his grin on you. “That makes sense, because I definitely would’ve remembered seeing you around.”

You laughed, averting your eyes as you felt a rush of heat to your cheeks. “Smooth.”

“I try.” His eyes twinkled a bit and he nodded at your laptop. “What’s your paper about?”

“Oh, god,” you muttered, attention trailing back to what should’ve actually been important as you tapped the touchpad a few times to turn your laptop back on. “It’s a very long, very boring writeup of the lab I did for the first part of my midterm. Trust me, you don’t want to hear about it. I’m trying not to think about it, honestly.”

John B let out another bright laugh as he dropped his leg back down to the ground, then leaned his elbows on his knees to get a better look at your computer screen. After about thirty seconds of his lips moving soundlessly and an increasingly confused expression blooming on his face, he sat back. “Yeah. I uh, I understand about zero percent of that. More of a history guy myself.”

You blew out a loose sigh and shook your head. “Don’t even talk to me about history. There’s a reason I’m a chem major.

He scoffed and pulled back. “God, don’t talk to me about chem. It’s a miracle I ever passed that class in high school.”

You chuckled, and though you were about to continue the quips, you instead looked him in the eyes with a slightly wondrous smile. “Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever shared this much about myself with a random stranger.”

“Probably a combination of airport madness and my effortless charm,” he said with a wink.

As he got another laugh out of you, you closed your laptop and leaned over to zip it back into your bag. At this rate, with this guy, you were never going to get anything else done. “It’s a shame that we only met because the weather fucked us over. I’m having a really great time with you.”

“Hey,” John B shrugged. “If another delay means I get to keep hanging out with you, then I say let it snow.”

Another round of heat rushed to your cheeks as you sat up, the grin on your lips becoming an apparent staple of conversation with John B. “Let it snow indeed.”

~~~~~~~~

The remaining delay passed by a lot quicker than the others with the company of John B, the two of you talking and trading stories the entire time. When they announced that they were finally boarding, you were almost disappointed. Part of you hoped that your seats would be next to each other, but you had already checked. Unfortunately, they weren’t.

While it might’ve been tragic for you, it was most definitely the better outcome for your chemistry paper. Without a handsome stranger distracting you, you were able to finish the rest of your writeup in an hour, leaving enough time for you to proofread, jot down some friends to send it to to get their opinion once you had WiFi again, and pray to the gods that this would get you a good grade.

The second you stepped off the plane, you were met with an onslaught of text messages and missed calls from both of your parents. You lingered long enough in the gate trying to decide how to respond to them when you heard your name being called, and when you looked up you could already feel the beginnings of a smile forming.

“I’m surprised you waited for me,” John B said as he came to a stop next to you. “You seem like a woman on a mission.”

You grinned and turned your phone off. Those texts could wait. “I am. It just so happens that you’ve become a part of that mission.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

You nodded. “The baggage claim. Very hard to conquer.”

Thankfully, he caught your drift and he mirrored your serious expression. “Oh, one hundred percent. You’re lucky that we get to go together, otherwise we might not make it out of here.”

“I’m forever indebted to you.” You started walking and he joined you, a comfortable but steady pace setting in. “So, how was your flight? Have you gotten any shit from your friends yet?”

John B laughed. “The flight was boring, and yes. From my friends and my parents, about ‘where the hell are you you’re gonna ruin Christmas bro.” He turned his phone off and put it back in his pocket once he finished reading one and chuckled. “Word for word from JJ.”

“Well, you can tell JJ that he can blame the weather for ruining Christmas. You’ve already made my Christmas better.” If you hadn’t chosen to look down at your phone at that moment, you would’ve seen the intense blush blooming on his face. “Wow. Apparently they sent my brother to pick me up — can’t tell if they’re that annoyed at me or if they just don’t want to have to drive two hours at night.”

“Probably both.” His eyes flicked up to the sign pointing in the direction of the baggage claim and he casted a glance at you. “Might wanna let him know you’re gonna be a while. The bags haven’t even started coming yet.”

You sighed and rubbed a hand against your forehead. “Great. Looks like the true danger of the baggage claim is the boredom from waiting thirty minutes. Got any brilliant ideas to follow through with our plan of conquering?”

John B made a show out of his thought process, staring off into the distance with wistful eyes before turning them on you again. “We could always just talk more about ourselves. 20 Questions?”

You tutted and nodded slowly, as if you were considering it. “I do love to talk about myself. But I don’t think that’s how 20 Questions works. More of a yes/no thing.”

He shrugged. “Then we just ask each other 20 questions. Or talk until our bags come. Whichever one comes first.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you said. You turned a scrutinizing gaze on him, looking him up and down in mock contemplation. “Alright, I got my first question. Why have you told so much of your life to some random girl you met in an airport?”

A slight smile tugged at his lips and he thought about it for a second. “I dunno. You just happened to be there when I was coming back over from charging my phone, and once we started talking there was just something about you that made me trust you.” As John B met your eyes again with that half smile of his, they almost twinkled. “It’s already paid off.”

You smiled shyly as you played with one of the rings on your finger, and he continued. “I guess that’s my question too, then. Why have you told so much of your life to some random guy you met in an airport?”

“It’s pretty simple,” you said. “I had already been stuck in the airport for like, the entire day, I was trying to work on my lab writeup and it was boring me out of my mind, and then the flight got delayed again. I think it’s safe to say that talking to you has been the most interesting thing to happen to me today.”

John B pressed a hand to his chest, and for the first time you noticed the freckles dotted around his face. “I’m honored.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hold back your amusement. “You should be. Next question: What should I expect for my first time in the Outer Banks?”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’ve never been?”

“Nope,” you said, popping the ‘p’. “My dad struck the deal right when my freshman year of college started — there was so much going on at NYU that he told me not to worry about the move. We’ve spent all the holidays until now with family in other places, so this Christmas is my first time calling the OBX home.”

John B grinned and rubbed his hands together. “Oh, you are going to love it. I mean, technically you’re a kook, but from what I know about you so far I know that you’d fit in with me and my crew way more.”

You frowned. “The hell’s a kook?”

“Sometimes I forget people don’t know about it,” he chuckled. “The island’s divided into these groups, pogues and kooks. You said that your dad’s there for business, and— I mean, you go to NYU. I’m gonna assume you’re pretty loaded.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say that we’re loaded—”

“Anyone who says that is loaded,” he joked. “But it’s not a huge deal. At least not right now, because you’re actually a decent person. My friends would love you, I can already tell.”

You laughed and adjusted your bag, then gestured towards the conveyor belt that now had bags on it. “Save your psychoanalysis for later, Freud. I see my bag.”

Once you lugged your suitcase off the conveyor belt and walked back over to John B, he sighed. “Damn. And we only got through three questions.”

You shrugged as you took out your phone, shooting a text out to your brother to ask him where he was, then looked back at him. “I guess we’ll have to get stuck in another airport next Christmas to finish the other 37.”

“We will see each other again, y’know. We don’t have to wait for another delay.” John B stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled. “Besides, if you’re that worried about finishing our game, you can always give me your number.”

You laughed, and this time the heat rushing to your cheeks was expected. “Smooth.”

“Smooth enough to work?”

“...yeah.”

~~~~~~~~

The two of you waited at the claim until John B got his own suitcase, and then the two of you set off for the final half of your journey. Unfortunately, a select text from your brother in response to the one you sent earlier wasn’t really what you wanted to hear.

You groaned, coming to a reluctant stop just before an escalator that was now going to take you in the completely wrong direction.

“What is it?” John B asked as he came to a stop next to you.

You shook your head, letting go of your suitcase to rapidly tap out an annoyed response. “My brother’s not even waiting inside, apparently. He’s out somewhere in the middle of the parking garage, and I’ve spent the last ten minutes going the wrong way.”

“That sucks.” He checked his watch and shook his head. “9:30. Looks like we’re gonna make it home on Christmas day.”

You sighed, not even wanting to think about the ride home as you gave him sad eyes. “It also looks like this is where we part ways, John B.”

“It was a pleasure to be by your side, my lady.” He gave an extra flourish of his hand and stepped out in a mockery of a bow, and you laughed.

“There was no one I would’ve rather traveled with on this treacherous journey,” you responded in kind as you started to walk backwards. “Merry Christmas, John B. Have a good night, drive safe!”

“Merry Christmas — you too.”

You opened your mouth to say something else, but you didn’t know quite what to say. Maybe you wanted to keep up the vibe the two of you had created over the span of the day, or make a move, or just anything to make this moment last a little longer, but… you didn’t. For whatever reason, you closed your mouth and nodded, then turned around.

You’re a second away from the doors leading back into the main terminal when you hear your name being called again. When you turn around, John B is staring right at you with an almost desperate look in his eyes.

“When you’re done celebrating with your folks—” he ran a hand through his hair with a small smile, eyes flicking down in a split second of uncertainty because meeting yours again, “—make sure you shoot me a text. I’d love to show you around.”

You grinned at him and gave him a mock salute with your free hand. “Sounds like a plan, John Booker.”

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee

#john b x reader #john b x you #john b fic #john b #obx x reader #john b fanfiction #obx x you #john b routledge x reader #john b routledge #obx #obx fic #obx fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks x you #sadie writes

[babymilkcxw]

Only one you’ll ever need pt1: Got7Mafia!Jinyoung x BlackFemale!reader

An: Hey guys this is my first time writing a fic ever. I’m really nervous to post this and I ended up over writing so I’ve decided to split it up into two parts so here’s part one. Please feel free to give me writing tips and keep in mind English is not the language I speak at home so beware of some mistakes. Not so much language mistakes but like writing techniques?? Girl idk I’m trying to say I’m bad at writing 😭anyway I hope y’all enjoy 🥰

Tags:smut, slight angst (nothing sad happens but the overall theme is kind of dark and heavy

TW!:Mentions of Daddy issues, small age gap, Mentions of mafias, mentions of murder in this chapter. The smut happens later, slight kidnapping themes??

It’s undeniable that you attract a certain group of people. No matter where you go, the same kinds of people are drawn to you. Your friends always pick on you and say, “you have daddy issues” bc of the men you attract. All of your past flings have been older than you, in some type of underground business, and very toxic. You always thought you’d never find someone who didn’t just want you for your body. They’ve all had the same motive. When you turned 19 you decided to attend college in South Korea. And that’s how you met Jinyoung. He was different than every other person you’ve ever had a thing with. Now don’t get me wrong, he definitely is similar to all your old flings, but there was something that set him apart from the others, and that was how big his heart was for you. He loved you so much even tho he sometimes had a hard time showing it. He was 4 years older than you and felt the need to not only be your boyfriend but someone who could teach you the ropes of life. He took good care of you, always made sure you got enough sleep, drank enough water, and ate three meals a day. He always made sure you knew that he was the only guy you would ever need. He never pressured you to do things you weren’t comfortable with and made sure you never got involved with his work life. You knew he was in some sort of underground business but you’ve always been to scared to ask and concluded it’s best you don’t find out.

You were walking home from a night class when a car drove past you and then stopped and reversed. You immediately starting running away bc fuck that. Unfortunately no matter how fast you run a car will always be faster. The car eventually caught up to you and two men jumped out and grabbed you. You tried to get away by kicking the two men and spitting in their faces until a third man shouted, “be gentle with her, we wouldn’t want Jinyoungs precious baby to be hurt right?” The men immediately threw you into the other Mans arms. You thought about running away but he pressed his front against your back and you felt his gun in his pants. He moved your braids to the side and licked up your neck and said, “my name is Im Changkyun, and your boyfriend owes me a lot of money. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you sweetheart?” You gulped and shakily breathed out “no sir I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe I can go home and ask him” He laughed right in your ear and took your book bag from your hands looking for your phone to call Jinyoung. “I’m not letting you out of my sight angel, now unlock your phone and call your precious little boyfriend for me” you grabbed your phone noticing you have over 30 missed calls from Jinyoung and pressed his contact; the only contact you have in your phone. You put the call on speakerphone and waited for him to pick up. It barely rang two times before he picked up yelling and asking where you were. “ Baby where the fuck are you, when I call you, you answer the god damn phone, do you understand me?” Before you could explain yourself , Changkyun grabs the phone and says “don’t worry Junior, she’s safe with me, isn’t that right baby?” And you weakly confirm that you are safe and not injured. “I swear to fucking god I will fuck yo ass up if you hurt her, don’t try me”, jinyoung growls into the phone. “Is that any way to talk to the man who has your sweet girl held captive? Anyway, I need my mf money. I know you have it. You have 10 minutes to get to the front of her college and give me my damn money before I take her for myself.”, Changkyun says and hangs up the phone. “I know I said I wouldn’t hurt you but I don’t want you to be awake for when I kill your boyfriend.” Before You could register anything you feel a sharp pain in your head and fall into Changkyuns arms. Your vision started getting blurry and before You blacked out you heard him whisper, “you will be mine.”

You wake up some time later with a pounding headache. you try opening your eyes but they’re too heavy with sleep to do so right then. you rely on your other senses to tell you where you are. You are able to conclude you are in a moving car but that’s it. “You waking up baby?”, you hear a mans voice say. It’s hard to make out who it is and you think you have a concussion. You’re scared to see who’s driving. You hope it’s jinyoung, but there’s a possibility it’s not.

#got7 smut #jinyoung smut #mafia au #kpop smut #kpop mafia au #black kpop stans #got7 x reader #got7 x black reader #jinyoung x y/n #jinyoung x reader #jinyoung x black reader

[leahclearwaterdefensesquad]

Wait Emmett is a Dolly Parton stan?

I thought jasper would be the one since he’s from the south

Ah. A newcomer.

So here’s the thing, babe - I’ve already answered this same question before (though I can’t find the stupid ask for the life of me) and thus I’ve already explained my reasoning as to why it’s Emmett and not Mr. Single Star on my Collar Confederate that is the die-hard fan of the Country Queen. But because this is the LAST time I want to have to say this, I’ll go ahead and reiterate myself.

For reference to anyone reading this, Anon is referring to my current blog title (”emmett’s a dolly stan”).

I gotta lot of things to say about this so bear with me, it's gonna be a whole - actually, scratch that, multiple bullet lists. We’ll start with Emmett.

First thing’s first, I made this moodboard 

... and I made this post to go with it as a way to explain my reasoning.

As you can see from the post above and Emmett’s wiki, ya boy is from Gatlinburg, Tennessee! Good ole country boy who was just making a living to take care of his family!! Gotta love him. As you can also see from my post linked above, I mentioned that Dollyworld, Dolly Parton’s theme park that she had built to create jobs in that area, is located in Gatlinburg!!

Now, we know that Dollyworld wasn’t around in the ‘20s when Emmett was still human and living in the area, but (and yes, it is mentioned that he technically ~never looked back~ but that doesn’t matter because this is a headcanon) if you read the post above (how many times am I gonna repeat that phrase lol) I lay out why I think he would still have a soft spot for his hometown and, specifically, the music icon popular of that region, who is also from Tennessee herself!!

Other points worth mentioning: He’s from the back country, and because I think he’s a country boy, he would just enjoy some actually good country music. Srsly, how can one not like her music anyway??????? 

So to finish off this little bullet list.... Anon, do you not think Tennessee is in the South???? It is Or were you not aware of his Tennessean roots??? Not saying that to be mean, but ya know. Worth asking.

Now, onto Jasper.

As we have previously established, Jasper ain’t the only Southern gentleman in the Cullen Clan. 

Here is where I delve into canon (or at least, what ik from canon). We know from his anecdote that he relayed to Bella in Eclipse about the newborn army he trained that once he got turned, he was really out of it in terms of keeping up with the human world. His world was just violence and pain and conquering until he left and met Alice. From what I interpreted, Jasper still hasn’t really kept up with human affairs. I mean, okay yeah, it says in the Guide that he has a degree in history, so he went to college and knows some things (which is really fucking ironic when you think about how he was so proud of being a major in the Confed army but anyways), but he seems to just check out when it come to like... pop culture, you know? Idk about y’all, but to me, he doesn’t really seem like someone who would care about all the different kinds of music out there, so it seems like a stretch to me that he would zoom in on Mrs. Parton. Maybe he does keep up, I haven’t really read Midnight Sun so maybe I’m wrong, but to me, it just doesn’t seem like he’d be into a particular artist. That may be because I just write him off as some boring and racist character so I don’t give enough shits to breathe any life into him fanon-wise, but hey, if y’all are into that, I ain’t stopping you. 

I think the reason that ppl tend to get confused about this is that Jasper had the opportunity to relegate his backstory for plot driven reasons, and Emmett didn’t. Jasper talking about his human life really cemented in the minds of readers that he is From The South, but if Emmett somehow got to talk about anything beyond getting mauled by a grizzly (another mistake on smeyer’s part - grizzlies are out West, not in Appalachia), I think readers would also associate him as being from the rural South too. But because his backstory is only really recounted in his wiki and The Guide, it’s not the most well-known aspect of his identity. 

I feel like the majority of ppl that assume Jasper would be the one to like Dolly, and also just country music in general, is because they’re operating on the assumption that being from the South = good enough reasoning for a character to like country music, which can be kind of reductive but hey. And because fandom only thinks it’s Jasper who’s Southern and they skip over Emmett and Alice (I will give credit where credit is due - I know there was someone on here who made a country music playlist based off of those three’s Southern origins, but I can’t remember who it was unfortunately), he tends to get assigned those headcanons. Ig he does retain that Texan style a bit so it wouldn’t be a huge stretch if he liked country but anyways.

TLDR; To be blunt, it just makes more sense to me that the Tennessean whose hometown is literally where Dolly has her business would be a plausible Dolly Parton stan, not the aloof Texan who’d probably have some kind of vampiric seizure if he discovered that she supports BLM. 

Not to mention that I’m not the only one who thinks this. 

#emmett cullen #dolly parton #gatlinburg #anon asks #emmett is a dolly stan #emmett mccarty #i'm bolding the important points to make it easier to read btw! #dollyworld #personal asks #long ass post #personal headcanon

[yikesharringrove]

maybe? 👉👈 steve taking a really long time with college (like on one year and off one yours year, on, off, on, off) and he still doesn't really know what he wants to do and he gets really frustrated bc billy just did college all in one go and steve is taking forever and he feels down on himself? idk im feeling the whump rn???

Steve had left high school having no idea what he wanted from the rest of his life.

That’s not true, he had some idea.

He knew he wanted to leave Hawkins, follow Billy wherever he was going. He knew he wanted to be with Billy for the rest of his life, he knew he wanted to leave the past behind and make new friends, people who were kind, and fun, and didn’t bat an eye when Billy pulled him into his lap.

But that’s about it.

So when Billy graduates high school, and gets a full ride to UC Berkeley, and they move into a cheap apartment in downtown Oakland, Steve is so happy that he got out.

He gets a job waiting tables at a restaurant down the street, pays half the rent and buys the groceries while Billy’s in class.

But then two years pass, and Billy’s soaring through college, working to his degrees, plural, because he just couldn’t decide between studying English Literature or Biology with a focus in research.

So he’s majoring in both and getting a minor in Italian because then I’ll know what you’re sayin’ when you start horny babblin’.

And Steve was at the same restaurant.

True, he was assistant manager now, and it came with a pretty okay raise, and he even gets dental insurance, but he feels so stuck.

So he enrolls in community college.

He starts with some general classes, still completely unsure of what he wants to study.

Billy said it was okay to just rule out things you don’t want to study, to nearly fail a math course and know that accounting is not for you.

So when Steve finishes his first year, he at least knows what he doesn’t want to pursue.

Meanwhile Billy has an internship at a lab through Kaiser Permanente. And he can read and write Italian than Steve can.

Steve is walking home from his job at the restaurant when it happens. He’s crossing the street, and gets hit by a car.

He’s taken to the hospital, where he’s informed of a fractured spine and another concussion.

He’s told his injury could’ve been much more severe, that he will not experience paralysis, but he needs physical therapy and walking will be difficult for a while.

Their finances take a big hit.

Billy’s internship doesn’t pay super well, and with Steve being unable to work for the foreseeable future, he’s fired.

Billy has insurance through the school, but because on paper, he and Steve have no real relation, Steve’s medical bills come out of pocket.

So Steve is bedridden for months. He can’t work or get groceries, or do fucking anything but lay there.

They can’t afford physical therapy.

But Billy has a friend studying to be a PT, and she comes over every Saturday, and practices her technique on him in exchange for ten bucks and a few beers.

And so the money Steve tucked away for school is rapidly diminishing.

By the time Billy graduates, Steve is a year into recovery. He still gets dizzy at odd intervals, and his back gets stiff when it rains, but Billy gets a job right away, doing research on flu vaccines.

And Steve goes back to work.

He gets a desk job, something he won’t have to be on his feet all day for. He works reception for a message therapist, which comes with free massages, which work wonders on his back.

So in the fall, he decides to give his education another shot.

He learns that history is not for him, and that his nutrition course was fine until they began looking into how the body processes nutrients, and he was fucking lost. He takes a few business classes, thinking, hoping genetics would take over and this is something he could do.

But his dad was right to take away the job opportunity at his own firm. Steve was not cut out for this.

After a year of research, Billy is promoted three times. He ends up working on some extremely important study that Steve does not understand for the fucking life of him.

But he sits and listens every time Billy explains what he did that day, even though Steve gets so sad when Billy mentions having to kill the lab mice to study their bodies.

So Steve is two years into community college, five years into living in Oakland with Billy, and he still is lost.

He takes a semester off, working more hours, trying to save up some money.

Because Billy is beginning to think about grad school, and that shit’s not cheap.

But Billy decides to postpone that, work for a few more years, and besides, he’s caught between studying something to put him in a research field, or just straight up going to medical school to study infectious disease.

Because Billy could. He’s smart enough for medical school, smart enough to research and be a doctor.

And Steve has a smushy spine and half a degree in nothing.

A semester off turns into a year.

A year and a semester.

Two years.

They’ve been in California for seven years, and Billy gets into grad school in San Diego. They move south and Billy spends late nights pursuing a Masters in Immunology.

And Steve works the front desk at a pediatrician’s office.

He’s flipping through a course catalog from the San Diego Community College when Billy comes home from his new job, the position he got after applying to only three labs.

He kissed the top of Steve’s head, moving to grab himself a beer from the fridge.

“You thinkin’ of going back?”

“I don’t know.” Steve slid the catalog closed. “Is it even worth it?”

“That’s something you have to decide.” Billy sat down, sliding the catalog towards him. Steve had crossed off the classes he had already taken, the ones he new he wouldn’t like.  “And you know, going to school isn’t the only option. You could get an apprenticeship, master a trade.”

“I can’t do anything where I need to bend over for really any length of time. So that rules out plumber, and car mechanic, and anything physical like construction, or landscaping or even general contracting is right out.”

Steve could feel the old shame, the doubt and the self hatred crawling up his spine.

“I have nothing to offer. I have no discerning skills, and in seven years I’ve only made it through two years of goddamn community college, and here you are, ripping through grad school like a fourth degree is easy.”

“Stevie, you’ve got a lot to offer. We just gotta find something that suits you.” He took Steve’s pen, turning to the back page of the catalog. “Okay, we’re gonna write down all of you strengths, and think of career paths that could fit those. I’ll go first, you’re extremely caring. You’d be good at any career where you care for people.”

“But I can’t study nursing or something, I barely understood my biology 101 course. Plus, nurses are strong. I can’t lift more than like, thirty pounds.”

“There’re way more caring fields than nursing, Pretty Boy. Although I would love if you were my nurse.” Billy smirked at him, leaning in to plant a sloppy kiss to Steve’s cheek as he rolled his eyes. “Another strength: your emotional intelligence is through the fucking roof.” He wrote it down. “Okay, I’ve said tow, so you say one.”

“Um, I think that I’m good at making people laugh?”

“Yes! You are. Perfect.” Billy scribbled it down. “You’re a good leader.”

“I’m pretty good at reading people.” Billy wrote Intuitive, can smell a douchebag from a mile away.

“You’re good under pressure.”

“Sometimes.”

“Every time I’ve seen. You’re good at keeping calm and keeping others calm.”

“I guess.”

“Nah, Stevie. Positives only. Say a strength.”

“I’m, uh, I’m good at, bilingual?” Billy stared at him. “Like, I’m bilingual.”

“Are you sure? I don’t think that was English, even.” Steve slapped his chest, Billy laughed. “I’m joking. You are bilingual. You’re also really good at making others feel safe.”

“I was always pretty alright at public speaking.”

“You’ve got a great eye for detail.”

“I’m good at teamwork, and delegating.”

“You’re really compassionate, too.” Billy drew a line under the strengths side. “Okay, so now we’ve got some of your strengths, think about what you’d want in a job, and we can match everything up and think about some careers that could fit.” Steve nodded, racking his brain.

“Um, I would want to work with kind people, I would kind of like to do something, you know, worthwhile. I’d like to be in charge of something. Like it’s fine if I have a boss to answer to, but I’d like to be fairly independent.”

“I already have so many ideas.”

“Lay ‘em on me.” Steve sat back, closing his eyes to try and picture everything Billy threw out.

“I’ve actually always thought you’d be a really good teacher. Especially if you did like, kindergarten. Just got to be around little kids all day.” Steve could actually see it. “I also think you’d be a could social worker, like to work with Child Protective Services, or something. Um, you’d be good at even planning. Or I think you’d be really good working at a nonprofit of some kind. Maybe you could be the event planner for a nonprofit.”

And Steve was sitting there, and suddenly, he had four career paths, just sitting right in front of him. Four super attainable career paths.

“Wait, wait those make sense.” Billy beamed at him.

“Yeah, that’s because I know you, Pretty Boy.” Billy opened the catalog. “So, I think if you choose to enroll, you should pick a few classes, like, Intro to Social Work, Early Childhood Education 100, and maybe like, Sociology, and see from there.”

Steve stared at the course descriptions for what Billy circled.

“Thank you for helping me. I’m sorry this has taken me so long.”

“It’s okay. Everyone is on a different timeline. And it’s not like you got to explore options in high school. You were told business until your dad decided that nevermind. So it’s understandable that this took you a minute. Plus, you went through hell with your back.”

Steve sat up straight, stretching out his back.

“But, I mean, the back thing kinda happened to you too, and you still made it through all your schooling.”

“Sure, I watched you go through it, but I was not in the pain you were. And like, emotionally, it fucking sucked to watch the love of my goddamn life go through something, and I couldn’t even afford therapy. Like, I felt so helpless, but that’s nothing to what you went through literally experiencing it.” Steve took Billy’s hand, linking their fingers together, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“You did the best you could. Everything was shit for like, that whole year.”

“I cannot telly you how many times I would go into an individual study room in the library and just like, sob for a while.And then I’d get so mad at myself, thinking of you at home, hurting and not even able to get yourself out of bed, and I’d race home feeling like shit.”

Steve scrubbed his fingers through Billy’s hair. He had cut it a while ago, kept it short these days.

“You were doing everything you could for me. I would just sit in bed all day, and think about how amazing you are. Like I would just think about all the good times we’ve had together, and how much I love you.”

“That explains why we didn’t fight for like, that whole year.” Steve laughed. Billy leaned to kiss him softly.

“And you know, even now we’ve done this, there’s still no rush on you. You don’t have to go back to school this year, of this decade, or anytime until you’re ready. Until you want to.”

“Well now, I feel like there’s a fucking light at the end of the tunnel. I’m almost, excited. Is this how you feel? Excited to go to school?”

“Welcome to the nerd life, Sweet Thing.” Billy drained the last of his beer. “You wanna go out tonight? Celebrate?”

“Like, go out to dinner, or go out?”

“Oh, just like dinner. Be home by eight thirty, in bed by nine, missionary with the lights off, and asleep by nine fifteen.”

“Sign me the fuck up.”

#billy is based a lot on my sister in this #and steve is based on her best friend #any life path is valid #there's kind of a lot of set up but yeah #also i live for them settling down and becoming a totally boring mundane couple but they're just SO HAPPY toghether that's my shit #yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #harringrive #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

[purplesurveys]

1257

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry?  Oh for sure. We had to watch It’s A Beautiful Life and I know I cried every single time I watched that movie, whether for school or on my own time.

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about?  I don’t really get this question. I feel like it would make more sense if it asked how early I’m willing to wake up in the morning...? Anyway, I don’t pay attention to the time I sleep at night. Sometimes I’ll pass out as early as midnight, and sometimes I’ll be up until 3; it doesn’t matter to me.

What is you favorite type of lunch meat?  I’m not into those in general.

What time of the year do you dislike the most?  The heat in April and May is just brutal and uncalled for. It gets so hot and disgustingly humid and most times the aircon can’t even do much to quell it.

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs?  Yeah, banana ketchup since that’s what we usually have a bottle of. Generally, I have banana ketchup with most of my breakfast dishes too.

What is your favorite color to wear? I don’t really have a favorite to wear those days mostly because I barely go out anyway and there’s been little need to update my closet.

Are you an overachiever?  Seems like the type of question you should be asking my parents, not me haha. Personally, though, I’m fairly proud of what I’ve accomplished.

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)?  Maybe longer legs and smaller teeth, but I’m not exactly insecure about mine.

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry? Did you just raise the possibility of marrying a deer? Anyway...since I mentioned Two for the Road in the last survey, I’ll go with Mark from that movie. Seems like my type of partner. 

How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)?  With legs...around 2-3 weeks. Armpits, maybe about a week or so. Never more than a month for either.

What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else?  For the most part I’ve always been cautious of what I say; writing, on the other hand...I’ve written stuff on my diary wherein I let out all my frustrations against my mom. I know they were mean because she cried over them – but that also entailed snooping through my stuff, so I’ve never felt bad about it. I meant those things as I wrote them because it was my safe space, and she violated that. That’s on her.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry?  I did, but I instantly realized it was bad so I stopped as soon as I began.

What is your favorite thing about your life?  How everything seems to have fallen in its place these days. There’s really little to complain about and I’m grateful for that.

Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire?  Animals.

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody?  No.

How many real bfs/gfs have you had?  One.

Did you enjoy your past relationships?  I did.

Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. << I love this choice, let’s just go with this one lol.

Could you wait until marriage for sex?  Sure.

What’s the best Nirvana song?  I don’t listen to them. I know a couple of songs but I don’t like them enough to be my favorites.

What was the last thing that impressed you?  The new Butter remix with Megan Thee Stallion.

When was the last time you were in a pet store?  Years, years ago.

What nationality is your last name?  Spanish or Portuguese, I’m not super sure.

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip?  I never dip my chips; I just have them as is.

Who was the last boy that you saw cry?  Idk...maybe one of my cousins from one of our family reunions last year. I don’t get to be around a lot of boys or guys.

Does your mom know you do surveys?  No. I’ve never had to raise it and I can’t see a situation where I would have to.

Have you ever had a serious injury?  Yeah, I got a big wound from when I went snorkeling around a decade ago. I wasn’t provided flippers so when I was kicking to stay afloat I managed to hit the coral reefs underneath repeatedly, which majorly scraped and gashed my left foot until it was an open, bleeding mess. It was infected for weeks and I’m surprised it didn’t leave any kind of mark or scar.

What was the last thing you achieved?  Handling a campaign for a major client successfully and getting good coverage and results for it.

Would you enjoy being famous?  Probably, but I wish I had some sort of talent or skill that would propel me to popularity in the first place hahaha.

What’s under your bed?  Some things I collected from past hobbies and interests, like all my old wrestling magazines.

Do you enjoy travelling?  Love it.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it?  I mean I joined an org in college, which technically makes me a member for life. I’m not name-dropping but it’s one of the two journalism organizations in my alma mater.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk?  I can’t recall. I don’t drink strawberry milk.

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set?  I never collected those.

Do you have a clock in your room?  Nope.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher?  I honestly can’t remember. I only had like three sessions with different instructors for each, and the one instructor I remember having was extremely cranky and impatient.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite?  Hold It Against Me is pretty fun.

Does mind over matter work for you?  Sure.

Are you paranoid?  Oh yeah. Overthinker is pretty much my middle name.

What is the best thing about winter?  I wouldn’t know but considering the things associated with it, I’ve always believed it would be my favorite season.

Have you ever been truly in love?  Hmm. I think so, yeah. I’d give myself that.

Are you currently planning a trip?  Nah. Nothing set in stone, but Angela, Reena, and I have been talking about flying to South Korea next year. We’ll see.

How many plants are in your home?  Several. My mom is a bit of a fan, but it’s nothing obsessive.

What is your favorite possession?  I treasure my BTS merch, I guess haha. Nobody is allowed to touch them or move them around without my permission. As often as my mom likes to barge in my room and touch my stuff, she seems to understand and doesn’t lay a finger on any of the merch either.

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked?  Sure. But it's never really mattered to me; it just feels nice to be nice and do nice things for people. It does feel nice to be thanked, but I don’t necessarily do it for the recognition.

What movies have tripped you out?  I’m Thinking of Ending Things, Midsommar, Anomalisa, Under the Skin, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and The Killing of A Sacred Deer are a few of them.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade?  Yesssss, I even had a pair as a kid. I got into it because I loved to ice skate, but it turned out I wasn’t as good as gliding on the ground so I ultimately preferred ice skating. Anyway, no, I haven’t done rollerblading in years.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night?  I did. I stayed because it’s where I felt safe and I didn’t know where else to go or what else to do outside of it.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating?  Sure.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep?  Nope. I find them more distracting than anything else, and they actually keep me from sleeping.

What summertime treats do you love?  I don’t have any.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. < Yeah, this sounds about right.

What do you hate most about moving?  The last time we moved was in 2008...and I don’t really remember disliking any part of it. I was actually excited for us to have a home all to ourselves after living with extended family in a cramped house all my life.

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting?  Depends where. Sometimes it can be exciting, sometimes it can be inconvenient but you kinda do it out of desperation lol.

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks?  No, I’m scared of how it would affect my body so I’ve never tried.

Has anyone ever whistled at you?  Countless random men.

Do you like scarves?  They can be comfy if I’m traveling somewhere cold...but I don’t really get to do that often, so.

Is your father homophobic?  I haven’t seen any signs from him. My mom is much more likely to exhibit internalized homophobia – she just did the other night.

Do you take gummy vitamins?  No, only when I was a teenager.

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all?  I don’t think so, nothing I can recall.

Who would you like to meet before you die?  I don’t have any goal person in mind.

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? Hmm, probably not. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of?  The Avril Lavigne doppelganger one is extremely hilarious and I read up so many thread about it on Twitter just so I can see how far people can stretch it.

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die?  I don’t care.

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else?  Either of my best friends.

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday?  The weather.

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy?  My mom.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself?  Yeah the soundtracks are actually fucking great. The person who took this survey before me named Supermassive Black Hole by Muse, and that’s one of my favorites from all the soundtracks. The song Slow Life in New Moon is nice, too. How old was the first person you kissed?  She was 17, going on 18.

Will you be a strict parent one day?  I’d have some rules set but I wouldn’t suffocate my kids.

Last person to stand up for you?  Heck if I know. I can do that for myself.

Have you been to a baby shower?  No.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?  My ex.

What’s your favorite high school memory?  Hiding a same-sex relationship from my conservative, homophobic Catholic teachers.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single?  I like being single these days.

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do?  Trying out the Nevis Swing in New Zealand.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate?  I saw no point in studying chemistry.

Italian food or Chinese food?  Chinese. I like Italian cuisine, but sometimes I find it a tad bit salty for my taste.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study?  Not flash cards but sometimes I’ll write my notes down in several index cards because for some reason I retain information better that way.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer?  No.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online?  No. I never saw the appeal of most of them, honestly.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike.  Gabie.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson?  I have nothing to say about him tbh. 

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school?  Nothing beyond getting into an argument with this kid in 2nd grade and getting sent to the counselor’s office for it.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras?  I used to, until I handed it down to my sister...and until she let it smash onto the ground because she didn’t place it on her tripod properly when she was filming one time. I still don’t get why she’s so defensive about it; I wish she’d just admit she majorly fucked up on that. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets?  It makes me silently judge the parents more so than letting myself be bothered by a child.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother?  We’re not offered the chance to get yearbooks unless we’re in graduating years.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome?  No.

Jalapeños: yay or nay?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Did you ever play Minecraft? No. I can’t care less.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member?  I didn’t.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense?  Me, sometimes. Hahahaha.

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?  The way I was broken up with, like what the person who last took this said. I’m not tortured by it and her anymore, but I don’t think I deserved to intensely mull over about what I could have possibly done to be broken up with the way she did.

What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. < This pretty much hits the nail on the head on how my ex is, so I’ll just go ahead and agree.

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it?  I’d get braces again and...that’s it, really.

What are your feelings on feminism?  I support it and I support how it advocates equality.

Describe your first relationship?  I’ve only had one relationship so I’ll just answer the following question.

Describe your last relationship?  Internally toxic; uhhh healthy at some points I guess, when she wasn’t being a selfish prick; a disaster towards the end.

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex?  I honestly don’t know what constitutes ‘safe sex’ in a same-sex relationship, sooooo idk if I have.

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?  It’s a realistic take on love and I appreciate that it took its sweet time to highlight the ugly sides of love and marriage. Also, Audrey Hepburn taking her acting chops to the next level was just beautiful to watch. She was always a fantastic actress in all her movies, but I could tell her acting in Two for the Road had just a little bit more depth to it.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?  That I’m nice and approachable.

Do you feel protective over someone?  My friends.

What perfume/cologne do you wear?  Heat Rush.

Where did your vehicle come from?  My parents got it for me as a high school grad gift.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?  I haven’t been to a wedding since 2007, and back then I was designated as a flower girl lol. I’ve never been to a wedding where I was chosen to be a bridesmaid.

What is your favorite way to eat chicken?  CHICKEN SANDWICH. Also chicken wings.

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is:  Oreo cheesecake topped with 24 macarons.

What do you wear to bed?  Something thin and airy.

What were you doing at 8pm last night?  I was watching Bon Voyage.

#survey #surveys

[shutupmaggie]

11:09 am

So I just woke up and here is the dream I remember, it’s in some oddly related pieces because I just woke up. TW - mentions of sex

I, for some odd reason went to the Bakery to try and get my job back for this summer, and while the front where I worked was new staff, the kitchen and the bakery still had mostly the same staff, though the basement was completely redone and had like a big dining room table, and looked how it did before it got finished. Anyways, I went in with Laura and we were hitting it off, making casual conversation before she was like, “I’ve had sex today, have you?” And for some reason I said yes, even though in my dream I had not had sex that day (nor in real life, but mind your business). So then, for some reason, she asked me about it and was like, “oh how was it, was it good for you?” and I was stressed and I just started describing an old hookup and then she was like, “oh, I thought that happened years ago, I must be confused because I know you wouldn’t lie to me,” or something like that. Then we had a conversation in the basement and she rehired me!!! And then I was leaving the front and I started helping a little with customers, like clearing their plates, and one of them had completely covered her plate with either orange juice or maple syrup (like full to the brim, if you moved the table it was on it would’ve spilled. So I went to the back to get her a new plate and ran into Caleb, Jose, and Juanny, who were my favorite coworkers and they all said hi and how they missed me. Then when I was leaving I saw Roman, who I haven’t talked to in awhile, and they were nervous to talk to me but I just said hi, and gave them a hug, and told them I missed them. Then I left the shop, kind of worried Laura thought I could start next week because I had never mentioned summer. 

One thing to note is this is another common location, based slightly on my hometown. There’s a main street, like the block of OPA south of Lake street, I can’t remember the first couple of shops, but there’s a really nice Starbucks, and across the street where the Eric’s used to be there is a kind of cafe, I’m staring to remember them from my other dreams, but I’m trying to focus on this one for right now. Then if you turn left down Lake street like where the real Starbucks is, it’s just an open street you can walk in that leads to a festival, like, prefecture, with a bunch of different festival related towns. Scoville Park is still there, but it’s way bigger, there are more paths and trees and there are like vendors and stuff. The library is also still there but it’s way bigger, designed way differently, and the 2nd floor has a pottery studio I’m pretty sure. Okay, now to the last part of my dream.

So then, I woke up and fell back asleep at 4 am, so this is after that, that’s why there’s not really a transition.

So, for some reason, Laura was taking us all to the grocery store, but there’s another Common Location - the dream version of my college, I’ll save time and not describe it, because the parts of it I saw in this dream were mostly new. So we were at the grocery store, but it was like a mix between a campus grocery shop and a common shop in that the selection was very limited, and me and my friend who I was with (Alli Turner idk why lol) were shopping, but we were in one of the last groups Laura let in, so everything was mostly gone. I had wanted orange juice, to make a smoothie, but the orange juice they had wasn’t refrigerated, and whenever I passed it, it was leaking. But then in the refrigerated juice section, the only juice they had was unsweetened cranberry-passionfruit, or something like that, so I decided I would ask Alli later if I should get it. They were also out of all non-dairy AND dairy milk, but they still had all the ice-scream and when I looked (okay if you know Ben and Jerry’s non-dairy ice cream you know that the lid is like a different color, but in this dream instead of green it was lilac) I saw this non-dairy one that said like “made with skeddle milk” or something like that. So I was like, “What the hell is skeddle milk??” and Alli was like, “You mean you haven’t tried it? It’s THE new milk replacement, it’s made from skeddles.” but I didn’t know what that was so I kept looking, but there was only like goat milk ice cream, so I just got the skeddle one. Then I asked Alli if I should get the juice, so we went back to get it, then ran into Laura, who yelled at us for taking so long, when there were still a few groups who had to go. Then we left the store and were in this back corner of UMD and this girl, who I think I went to Spain with was like, “I know this part of the school that’s haunted!” So we decided to check it out. We were between these two tall brick academic buildings, and there was like a railed top to a third, that had sunken in the ground/hill and you could climb onto the top. So we climbed onto the top, and for some reason my dad was there, and nothing was happening. Then she pulled out a remote that turned off the outdoor lights of the two neighboring buildings and the wind starting whipping and we heard this ghostly noise. It wasn’t scary though, all of us thought it was pretty cool, and we apologized for not believing her. I remember making a mental note that the haunted building top was a cool place to take someone when they came to visit, and then the dream was over LOL, sorry for such a long one!!!

#dream

[himbo-buckley]

What do you think will happen in Buck begins episode? I’m really hoping its flashbacks to his family life, conflict with parents, why he got into firefighting and then present day his/one of his parents come bacj into his life and we have his blood family meeting his fire family

Hi, friend, uiiii, thanks for the question!

I already did a post about that here but I am always willing to talk about it more because I am in love with this Episode already (ask me about “Buck Begins” / “Evan Ends”, please!!! I wanna theorise!)

MY BIGGEST HOPE right now is them bringing that “Eddie Begins” energy for our boy as well, because uff, right? That episode makes me want to cry every time which is a big deal considering I only actually cry at Christmas commercials, motivational speeches in sports movies and about my own stupidity and anger

I know a lot of people want the Buckley parents and while I am not opposed to them showing up in Season 4 or at the end of the episode, during the episode I want them only in flashbacks because I feel like anything else would divert from Buck too much, like, they’d have to talk about Maddie as well (especially since she is pregnant)

would love to see some flashbacks of teenage!Buck and his dislike of Doug and such 

I’d love the cause to be Maddie telling him their parents are on the way and him then processing all of this with Frank (GIVE ME ALL THE FRANK, okay?) or because he ran into someone from his past

or

if they wanna go live and death, maybe Buck getting once again stuck somewhere / being in a place that is hard for everyone else to reach (like I said, “Eddie Begins” energy meaning “Eddie Begins”-type of hurt and Eddie having to deal with potentially losing Buck - again)

And if that is the case I want Eddie to give us a parallel to Buck in “Eddie Begins” - within his temperament of course! Because Eddie won’t fall apart but like, maybe the it’s extremely dangerous to go help Buck and everyone is like: “okay, who’s gonna do it” and then Eddie volunteers and the firefam is like: “no, what about Christopher” and obviously Eddie is like: “I AM thinking about Christopher but this is Buck and so I have to do this, I have to safe him” - just, give me a teeny tiny Buddie scene, okay? (technically this would not be a tiny scene but still! COULD YOU IMAGINE?)

I’d love if we find out Buck went to College and we see him graduating and then his parents maybe want him to take a certain job or Idk go to law school (PLEASE CONFIRM SMART BUCK) or something, but Buck doesn’t want to (remember how he talked about getting some milage in in 3.11?) and instead he goes “Bye, party people! I am off to South America!”

Also, I’ve said before that I do not believe with a single cell that Buck only fell into firefighting and my theory is this:

While in South America Buck met a Seal. Maybe they were friends, maybe more (bi!Buck confirmed, anyone?), maybe rivals, maybe it was a Red type of situation - anyways the guy dies while Buckeroo tries to save him and then, to honour that person he joins the Seals (GIVE ME ALL THE SEALS IN “BUCK BEGINS”, ya’ll)

now, the Seals and Buck are obviously not a good fit, we’ve been told that since episode 2 and there is an instructor who sort of takes a liking to Buck, though maybe he originally doesn’t like that cocky kid he is impressed with his dedication but he also sees: that boy is close to a breaking point and he’ll destroy himself if he goes on and he’s to good a lad to have that happen to him

And then he talks to Buck and tells him, you know, I have this friend in the LAFD, maybe that would be a better fit? And maybe Buck gives in right away or maybe something happens but anyways, we get Buck becoming a firefighter - and hey, then his sentence in 2.06 about falling into it wouldn’t even be a lie!

And maybe instead of showing his time at the academy I kind of want this episode to end with one of those cuts where the camera spans around and the time changes? Like we see Buck walk toward the firehouse for the first time from the back all alone (as a parallel to “Bobby Begins Again”) and the camera spins around and we see Buck walk toward us in a different outfit and then it spins again and we are in the present and there is a party for him? Like all of Chimney’s “I cheated death” - parties? Yeah, that!

I know a lot of people want the trigger to be something like a hurt kid or him just generally being in danger and I don’t want the former because I don’t subscribe to the “Buck was abused”-headcanon (his parents to me were either extremely overprotective or neglectful), because it invalidates and red cons all of Maddie’s storyline and also feels out of character (to me)

As for being in danger himself, we’ve seen him in life and death situations before and we’ve seen him when something was triggering for him, so unless it’s something very specific we haven’t seen yet and is connected to his backstory or something like getting stuck under something again (triggering a flashback because of 2.18) I just don’t see it.

But if they go with the parents as being the trigger, in my opinion, they have to start setting it up a few episodes before that by giving us hints about the Buckley parents, so it’s believable that Buck would have an extreme reaction to them coming to LA, because in canon he mentions them ONCE in 3 Seasons, but also because Season 2 at times implied that Buck at least had some contact with his parents (he didn’t contradict Maddie when she said, not to tell them about her being in LA by saying: “Oh, they never call anyways”)

Also if they do go with the parents coming to LA-storyline I don’t want it in “Buck Begins” only because considering how much has happened to him in the past 3 Seasons it feels a little to big to be a one and done storyline? So maybe they set up his parents coming back and then we deal with them being back the following two episodes?

Okay, so this is getting quite long and seeing as my brain is still in kindergarten mode, I think I’ll end it here for now!

So, bye for now and please honour us again soon! <3

#omg someone messaged me am I cool yet #buck begins #evan ends #FINALLY SOMEONE WANTS TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT THIS FUCKING EPISODE THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUU #911 #911 fox #wow ya'll guess I have some thoughts #catch me saying the same stuff 5 times though #lol #season 4 predictions #textpost

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #304

“she’s got a hold on me  /  maybe she is just what they want me to be”

How many foreign friends do you have? Only one that I know of that actually immigrated into America in their life. I think. In which countries do they live? She was born in Asia, either China or Japan. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? I either wanted to go to the skating rink or Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever come up with your own game? As a kid, definitely. Whose hand did you hold last? Probably my niece's or nephew's if they were taking me somewhere. What was the last thing you planted? Habaneros, I think. Do you have a green thumb or are you all thumbs with plants? I don't really try with plants because I'm not interested in the maintenance. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? Does telling your therapist about another person and what they do to stress you out count? lol Any books on your night stand? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. Would you ever consider going vegetarian? I was briefly one, but I had to introduce meat back into my diet because I just hate too many foods needed to keep me healthy without meat. I would love love LOVE to go vegan, but I just can't. When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably holding open a door for someone in a wheelchair. What's the most selfless act you have done? I don't know... Maybe letting my mother use all my Christmas and birthday money (which was a lot) to take care of bills to keep us from being evicted and losing the car. She was going to pay me back, but then cancer happened. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? No. What makes you feel lucky? The fact I have a roof over my head, food on the table, access to water... That kind of stuff. Never take it for granted. How many Lidls are there in your town? One. Last time you went to Ikea, what did you buy? I don't believe we've ever bought anything from there? But I wouldn't really know. How do you like your favorite beverage? Really cold in a can, heeeeell yeah. What's your big family secret? We don't really have one. What did you think you were good at, until you saw someone else do it? I remember thinking I was the "gifted" artist in school until I met my acquaintance Cailin in the 5th grade, lol. She is SO talented. What is something nice going on in your life right now? My partial hospitalization program is going well. I'm getting more comfortable with talking via things like Zoom, it's a good opportunity for me to socialize with like-minded people almost every day, and I ADORE one of the teachers so much so that I want him to be my normal therapist. I have never in the entirety of my life felt less judged and more cared for from any therapist before him, and it's almost supernatural how easily this man reads people. You could twitch a certain way and he picks it up. I'm ready for him to teach more of the sessions. What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? The idea of owning one of those toy crane machines, haha. If I saw one in a store, I would like beeeeg for it. I remember I cried once when I came across one I adored, it was just too expensive, lol. I did eventually get a little one, I think. What's something that you hate, but can't live without? My meds. What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? I don't really brag about anything I think I'm good at because I feel bad about it and don't wanna emit a "better than you" vibe. Who's the worst person you've encountered on the Internet? Ahhh, a lovely "friend" nicknamed Shakes. God she hated me. If death wasn't a consequence, what would you try? Probably ride a motorcycle. I'm too scared to risk the possibility of crashing, and those wrecks are nasty. What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? There's this one video of a TV show host thinking the moon was a planet and it was just- What is the worst smell you can remember? This smell was forever branded into my memory as if it was fuckin trauma. When my late dog Teddy had a massive, infected cyst near his ~you know~ and also wore diapers because of incontinence with his age (also keep in mind he had a UTI we couldn't afford to fix, and that smells bad enough), changing the diaper he would wear overnight could, swear to God, be enough to make you puke. It literally came to a point that I personally could no longer do it. It sounds so so bad and selfish, and it probably is, but Mom had to do it before she left and came home from work; she's way less fazed by stuff like that than me. Yes, when we had the money, we got the cyst removed. What song gets better the louder it gets? Only like, every song I enjoy. The louder the better until it becomes obnoxious to others. What's the biggest inconvenience that does NOT ruin your day? Having to pee at like an unnatural frequency? haha What's something everybody should know how to do? Cook... which I don't know how to do. What is a great movie no one knows about? I'unno. I don't really know the success level of most movies unless you see stuff about it everywhere. What type of person could the world use less of? Rapists, pedophiles, monsters like that. What makes you tingle? I have this odd reaction to rubbing my hand while someone is holding it???? idk why????? What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen? Oh MAN, I wish I could remember 'em all. I've seen some goodies. What's easy to learn, but hard to master? God, it's pathetic that my immediate response is related to a video game, haha. Then again it's such a common idea that it's basically a meme in the World of Warcraft community. So, playing hunters in the game. They're argued to be one of the - if not the - easiest classes in the game that requires little to no skill, while as a hunter main, I disagree with the second part firmly. I don't know about the other specializations because I don't play them, but at least in beast mastery, it takes focus and thinking ahead to master your rotation for optimal damage and just to generally be a skilled player of the class. Not to mention you need to watch your pet(s), too. What's something you've changed your opinion on? Wow, LOTS. Tons of political ideas, like my stance on gay rights, transgender folks, etc... If you had a refilling bowl, what would you want it to contain? For some reason my mind immediately jumped to fresh strawberries. I'm picky with the firmness of fruit, so I won't eat them if they're older because ew. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? I mean this in the least creepy way possible, but Sara's house so we could actually hang out, Dad's house so I could see him more, and then uhhh South Africa to regularly see meerkitties. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? Oh, I dunno. I've got some for writers of other media, but I guess by "author," you mean this is for books exclusively. If you have caffeine late in the day, does it cause you to struggle with your sleep? Shit, I wouldn't even know because I essentially always have caffeine in my system. I don't believe it affects me. When you struggle to sleep, what do you do instead? Keep trying to sleep, or more common than not, I do exactly what you shouldn't do and get back on the laptop for a while. Who was the last person you spoke to for the first time? How did you come to speak to this person? My most recent therapist in the PHP. I love love love him. The therapists rotate the days they teach, and he was the last one I met. Are there any TV shows from your childhood that you still watch today? I'm not opposed to it if I actually watched television. Do you enjoy buying gifts for other people, or do you never know what to buy them? If I actually have the money to, omg yes. I honestly do think I create or buy very thoughtful gifts, and I just really enjoy reminding other people that I love and think about them. Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal? My sisters, Mom, and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday dinner. That place has come to oust Olive Garden as my favorite restaurant, haha. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? Is this a programme you watch regularly? I believe it was this amateur cooking show called Nailed It!, I think it was, with my mom when I sat in the living room with her for dinner one night. Do you have a favorite documentary subject (eg. nature, celebrities, history, crime)? Absolutely animals. Does having to wear a mask stop you from doing anything, just because you dislike them or find them uncomfortable? Do not fucking talk to me if you're anti-mask. If I set foot in public, I'm wearing a mask like a goddamn considerate human being. Do you prefer zip-up or overhead hoodies? Overhead. I really dislike the appearance of zippers on them. If you have a yard or garden, how much time do you spend out there? N/A When was the last time someone bought you flowers? What was the occasion? I think it was the first time Tyler came to my house. This was quite a few years ago. When was the last time you stayed overnight away from home? Was this with friends, family or in a hotel somewhere? What was the occasion? Hell, I'm pretty sure I haven't slept over anywhere since the last time I was visiting Sara, which was like, two years ago. What’s your favorite period to learn about in history? What got you interested in this particular era? The Renaissance; I always found it to be an attractive subject, art being in its "glory days" and all. My Art History course in college really hooked me in. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Homophobic bullshit. What's a job that doesn't get enough respect? As others have said before me, teachers might just top the list. The shit they gotta put up with for so little pay... What did you take for granted until you visited another country? I've never left America, so I wouldn't know. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I don't have a favorite; I don't know nearly enough about any. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? I'm from the emoticons era, so I'm biased, haha. How did you meet your pet? Roman was the kitten of one of my sister's mother-in-law's females. They have quite a cat problem and wanted to adopt the kittens out, and Mom knew I desperately wanted a cat, so there we go. One day when we were over there, she showed me the kittens, and Roman caught my eye instantly with his beautiful blue eyes. Venus, I "met" via the Morph Market, a reptile hub website for selling, as the name implies, reptiles that are generally morphs of their species. I was clicking through the genes, keeping my price ceiling in mind, and really fell in love with champagnes, and I thought Venus in specific was just absolutely beautiful. I officially met her as a little thing mailed to me, and she was and still is just the sweetest. I wanna point out that when I chose Venus, I hadn't the slightest idea that champagnes harbored "the spider gene," as otherwise I would have avoided adopting her and feeding the market. Regardless, I love her to death and wouldn't trade her out. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo, yeah. Do you enjoy erotic stories? If so, do you read them or write them? No; they make me really uncomfortable. When writing RP, some scenes can get sexual, but I have my limits for sure and know when to stop writing and just time-skip. If you had to choose, which one would you rather have: a pet or a baby? Keep the baby away from me. Gimme a plains hognose or tarantula, please. ^Why did you choose the one you chose? I don't want kids at all but would love the mentioned animals as pets. Do you live with your parents or on your own/with a partner? I live with my mother. What's the car of your dreams? I don't have a "dream car." Have you ever witnessed something or someone die? Animals, yes. Has anyone ever told you that you snore or talk in your sleep? I don't snore, but I talk a LOT. Do you have any houseplants? No. Are you more on a laptop or a desktop computer? I only have a laptop, and I prefer them for portability's sake. If you could do absolutely anything, what would you like to do the most? Entirely leave behind my anxiety, probably. Or PTSD. Do you think your parents raised you well? Yeah. Dad didn't really take much part in "raising" us/enforcing rules and stuff, but hey, my sisters and I wound up being good people. Do you have a Facebook? Yeah. Do you know any of your neighbors? Definitely not well. We haven't lived here long at all. Does/did any of your relatives have an interesting, nowadays unusual job? I'm sure somebody does. Have you met your ideal partner yet? I think so. Have you had a serious relationship yet? If so, how many? Yeah, two. Do you enjoy books, magazines or comic books the most? Books. Are your parents old-fashioned or up-to-date about certain things? Dad is more old-fashioned I think, while Mom is pretty up-to-date. Do you or did you at some point keep a diary? I very briefly did on a few occasions. I always had a journal I wrote in during all my hospital stays. Have you ever upcycled trash into useful items? I remember I once followed this craft idea on Animal Planet where you turn a milk jug into a bird house. We never got any birds in it, though. Which color Skittle do you like best? The only right answer is red. What’s your favorite element? Of the classic four, fire. If you had your own radio show, what would it be like? YIKES, I don't want one. Don't make me talk in front of (through a radio or not) people. What has been the biggest surprise you’ve ever gotten? An "impossible" breakup over Facebook Messenger lmaoooo. Is there a holiday you can’t stand at all? There aren't any that I "can't stand," but I do hold at least some degree of dislike of ones bastardized by religion. It's disrespectful as fuck. Who is your favorite person in the whole world? My mom. Has there ever been an activity you became obsessed with? I was definitely obsessed with RPing in my early teens. Like, I ALWAYS wanted to be writing it. What has been the strangest place you ran into someone from your past? I can't think of an occurance. What is something people tend to come to you about? Anything related to English and grammar. If applicable, what's the furthest you've traveled because of a hobby? For purely a hobby, definitely not very far, partially because I can't drive or afford travelling via plane or whatever. Do you have souvenirs from other countries? If so, what and from where? N/A What do you do when someone is talking to you about something you don't care about? Pretend to be interested to avoid being rude. Do you have Photoshop installed on your computer? Yeah. Do you put lotion on after you get out of the shower? No, but I need to. Has anyone ever given you a promise ring? No. Do you have any bruises on you? Yeah, on my shin. When getting in Ash's van the other day, I hit it against the thing that helps you step up into the vehicle. Because of my muscle atrophy, I, and I am not kidding, can barely manage to absolutely yank myself up there. And mind you, her van isn't even very high up at all. My legs are just that damn weak. Any changes in appearance lately? Gaining weight is fucking lovely. Who was the last person to call you babe or baby? Probably a gal friend commenting on a selfie or something on Facebook. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Sometimes. Do you actually care about other's problems? Probably too much for my own good. Have you ever gotten a teddy bear from someone? Besides my mom, I don't think so.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''big bad wolf'' by in this moment

[bookcub]

Magic Schools Rated Against Hogwarts

based on whether or not I would like to attend (yeah, I’m not even trying the unbiased take) (turns out many of my favorite books are magic school books) (what does that say about me???) (Hogwarts is obviously 10/10) 

The Camp from In Other Lands- They send children to war???? Like, they take you out of school when you are 13 and ask you to attend and then you end up in war when you are like 16???? Lacks the charm and warmth of Hogwarts, but does have more diversity species wise with who attends. And there’s a drama club. 

4/10 would attend. 

The University from The Kingkiller Chronicle- So the classes sound amazing and I would die to see the Archives, but they are okay with whipping their students???? So I’ve decided I would only study abroad for a semester there. I would be too terrified to spend any more time there. Not to mention, like 10% of the population are girls. Also, I would LOVE to visit the Eolian because I do not have access to that kind of live music. This is more college like rather than the others, which are all more high school like.

6/10 would attend.

Hecate Hall from Hex Hall- Well, the gym class there is hell, but the other classes seem like fun ngl. And only a few students die, occasionally, so it’s not like there is a ton of danger, unlike some other schools. But it is in the South, which is warm and humid and gross so. . .

4/10 would attend. 

St. Vladamir’s Academy in Vampire Academy- Like, 80% of the time, this school is pretty normal. Yeah, there’s magic lessons and fight training, but lots of gossipy and rude teenagers, which is the norm. However, they have been attacked at least twice, so still not super desirable. Nothing to really gain and only a little to lose. 

5/10 would attend. 

Sinegaurd from The Poppy War- Let’s see. A bunch of rich snobs training to become soldiers? Where there’s a legal fight club? The garden of drugs does sound interesting, but it’s not like I’d have any use to it. Still, I’ll give it a point for that. Completely pales in comparison to other fictional schools, as I’m a liberal arts, kind of student. Also, if I didn’t die at the school, I would immediately die in the war after I graduated. At least the classes sounds useful, and a little bit interesting. 

2/10 would attend. 

The Castle from The Song of the Lioness- I don’t think there’s an official name for the school Alanna attends but look, another military school. However, they have led me to believe that they also allow you to become a scholar at this school, so I could handle that. I don’t think I’d like all the physical training, however. They seem to have a better discipline system than the other schools, so that’s good, but the Ordeal seems like straight up torture. 

4/10 would attend.  

Watford from Carry On- I am all about this magic system, where commonly used phrases are magic. Like, finally, something my degree would be useful in!! Plus, you get a perfectly matched roommate? Doesn’t seem to work for Penelope, but maybe it will work out for me? However, the Mage is a total butt and the school does seem to be in a dangerous place. But then again, there are scones. .  .

9/10 would attend. 

Camp Half Blood from Percy Jackson and the Olympians- Pro: Pegasus stables, Capture the Flag, Ambrosia. Cons: Dying from monster attacks??? Lava climbing wall??? The gods???? Idk, if I got to meet Percy and Annabeth, I’d go in a heartbeat. 

5/10 would attend. 

Vampires •  Werewolves • Dragons • Aliens • Faerie • Portal Fantasies •  Dysopias • Angels/Demons  • Animal Companions •  Cinderella • Mermaids • Fictional Relationships  • Fictional Twins 

#hogwarts #harry potter #pjo #tamora pierce #sarah rees brennan #rf kuang #patrick rothfuss #kingkiller chronicle #in other lands #the song of the lioness #carry on #rainbow rowell #hex hall #rachel hawkins #vampire academy #richelle mead

[brynnmck]

Tagged by @dame-lazarus, @pretty--thief, and @kiraziwrites, thank you! 

AO3 name: brynnmck

Fandoms: Currently just Jaime/Brienne, pretty much, though I do have a Birds of Prey Harley/Dinah fic I want to finish at some point. Previous fandoms I wrote more than one fic for: Dark Angel, BtVS (those two mostly lost to the wilds of ff.net), Alias, Firefly, Supernatural, Battlestar Galactica, due South and Canada six degrees, and a few different flavors of band-related fic (this is where I lose all of you who have strong anti-RPF feelings; if it makes you feel any better, RPF in GoT fandom is not in my plans!). And then I have one-offs for Friday Night Lights (kind of; it’s a not!fic SDW and I played around with over email one day), Castle, Newsies, SNL RPF, Hart of Dixie, The OC, X-Men movieverse, baseball RPF, and a tiny Star Wars (ANH) ficlet. That’s waaaaay more info than y’all needed, isn’t it? 😆 

Tropes: Friends-to-lovers, road trips, found/chosen family, partners

Number of fics: 90 on AO3. Which is an oddly round number! Only 4 for Jaime/Brienne, which is a little crazy to me because it feels like surely I’ve written WAY more, but I can only figure that’s because I beta a lot and also because Pilot Light was so long (by my standards), heh.

Fic I spent the most time on: Pilot Light, which was almost three times as long as my next-longest fic I’d ever written. It took about five months of steady work, I think? Not counting rewrites while I was posting it.

Fic I spent the least time on: Probably my little Star Wars ficlet. I used to be able to churn out a story in a day, though. I don’t know where that went! To be fair, those fics were generally significantly shorter, but still.

Longest Fic: Pilot Light

Shortest Fic: The aforementioned Star Wars ficlet, which I now really wish I had titled 😂

Most kudos: Overall my most kudosed/bookmarked fic on AO3 is my Newsies one, which honestly speaks to the dearth of good Newsies fic on that site as much as anything else (also this was where I discovered that sometimes the more kudos you get, the more kudos you get, since people sort by kudos and see yours first!). Most kudos for J/B is I settled in slowly to this house that you call home, which makes me happy because I super enjoyed writing that fic.

Most comment threads: Pilot Light. People who commented on multiple chapters of that: YOU ARE MY HEROES. (I mean obviously I love everyone who commented on that story or any other one, but multiple-chapter commenting is a lot of work and I appreciate it especially!)

Most bookmarks: I settled in slowly

Total word count: As of my last story, I just passed 500K, actually: 500,986. Though that is over 17 years, to be fair!

Favorite fic I wrote: Hmmmmm, for J/B, idk. Pilot Light is my most ambitious story in terms of the scope/plot (which I realize is not saying much relative to a lot of fic in this fandom, but I very often go more for emotional plotlines than external ones, and that one had both), so it was cool to prove to myself that I could actually finish it. I just wrote my first canon-based fic and getting to play around in that style was really fun. “I settled in slowly” let me satisfy all my snarky best-friends-y filth-with-feelings impulses. Idk! Me while writing, every time lately: “THIS IS TERRIBLE EVERY WORD IS A SLOG WHY DO I DO THIS MY BRAIN IS BROKEN.” Me, very sincerely, in the comments later: “I had so much fun writing this!” It’s like what they say about childbirth, y’all.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Usually by the time I post something I feel like it’s pretty much done (and even with longer things, I like to have them written before I post because I have a deathly fear of realizing I should go back and change something and not being able to). But I do want to do a little tag for “I settled in slowly,” based on a suggestion from the comments.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: The aforementioned tag is going to involve Jaime and Brienne going out to dinner and him making her come while they’re sitting at the table, per one of the fantasies he mentions in the original story. There may also be bathroom sex afterward. Something short and porny feels attainable right now! I also just got a plot bunny the other day for a college theater AU where Jaime is starring as Orsino in Twelfth Night and Brienne is on the stage crew and he has to stay late after rehearsal one night and they start talking and Things Happen from there. Which will be a good excuse to dredge up some of my theater major experiences! I’ve also had this fic idea for a while where Brienne is a ghost, but that doesn’t feel like a good summer fic, so I’m back-burnering it for now.

I’m not tagging anyone for this one because I think it’s basically made the rounds but if you haven’t done it and you want to, please do!! I would love to see what you have to say!

#meme me

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

Hey, I saw you live in Edinburgh, I’m moving there for uni in September, any tips like places to go on weekends that are cheaper for students like cafes, museums, parks, theatres?

almost all the museums are free! also lots of the theatres do student discounts as well like i once got £87 tickets to rigoletto in festival theatre for £10 with a student discount. the only park per se is princes street gardens which is pretty but filled w tourists, and the meadows which is really nice and great to chill in when it’s warm out, but if you’re thinking of parks as in central park in new york there’s not really much like that. as for cafés my favourites are brew lab on south college street, scran on north bridge, and checkpoint on bristo place. i’ve also heard great things about the maytree on bruntsfield place but i’ve never been cause i live a solid 30-minute walk from bruntsfield. not all of them are particularly cheap though, if you want cheap coffee go to teviot row house which is the student union and all of their food and drinks are really affordable compared to the average. with the food you can kinda tell it’s not great quality (eventually one learns what not to order lol) but the coffees are actually banging. also idk if you didn’t mention pubs because (a) you don’t drink, (b) you’re american and you forgot you can drink here, or (c) you’re not as much of an alcoholic as i am, but pubs: brass monkey on drummond street, paradise palms on lothian st, argyle bar on argyle st, and personal favourite revolution vodka bar on chambers st (try to join a society that’s sponsored by revs and you get hyooge discounts and i go there far too often for £4,50 cocktails)

#lesbian-thespians

[seireiteiimagines]

Hello, It's been a long time, and here's a long post.

For those of you still following this blog and those of you who are new, thank you. I personally apologize for the long break in posts, and while I can't speak for admin Gwen (we prob haven't spoken in like two years? Idk I haven't been on this site in a long time), I know I've been busy. I figured I'd give you guys an update and discuss the future of this blog (it's not bad, don't worry).

As many of you probably knew, I was a college student when this blog first started and still am. I am no longer an art student as I left that horrid school (which has since shut down, and those who didn't have degrees by that time were SOL) before it closed, got an AA, and am now finishing up a degree at another state college while gearing up for a masters. I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and am now finally getting the medication I need to help ease the condition that I had been struggling to figure out and get diagnosed for over 8 years. I've also been dating someone who is, quite honestly,the love of my life and probably the man I'll end up marrying (he also accepts my sexuality as well). I have a job that pays well, a rental house that's old but works while also letting my two demon cats roam, and a roommate who likes what I like and also loves fanfics as much as I do. So I guess you could say I'm doing well, and I think that my long break from social media helped facilitate that. It gave me the chance to focus on my life, work, and school. That focus on work and school allowed me to travel overseas for the first time in my life and I will never forget the friends I made (if you'd like to see some of my travels I can post them on my personal blog. I travelled to Thailand, South Korea, and Bhutan for field school). I'm truly happy and relatively healthy (I'll get to that mess in a minute).

I actually planned to resurrect this blog two weeks ago, but encountered a bit of a hiccup. I have been struggling with a respiratory illness since the end of January and finally went in about two weeks ago when the symptoms got exponentially worse even with Tylenol, ibuprofen, and other medication (other than NSAIDS, which will kill me in a few hours). I was tested for the coronavirus (I was negative y'all, so we're good) and told to self isolate at home. So far the only thing I have left is the trouble breathing and I've been using an inhaler to help out. So I wanted to come back earlier, but that kind of set me back a bit. Not to mention this was going down right before finals week so that was a nightmare.

Which brings me to my next quick topic.

Yes this is everywhere. Don't panic. Don't go buy shit everywhere. If you're told to self isolate, SELF ISOLATE. Don't be that asshole that goes out anyways. Wash your hands, try to eat relatively healthy (I know this isn't an easy option for some), and drink water! Just keep a level head and do what the WHO, CDC, or local health department advises. The media is really adding to terror and it's important to remember that panic doesn't help and we need to look out for each other (you don't need that fifth bag of to, Karen). Other than that, keep doing you.

Now for the fate of the blog!

I've honestly fallen out of the bleach and Naruto fandoms but don't worry, they always come back around in cycles. I've been absent from fanfic writing for several years now, and have finally been making plans to return. I'm currently working on K-pop fics (I've been into K-pop since I was a toddler, and I blame it on living in a Korean neighborhood 😂 All of my friends mom's blasted SHINHWA and I've been doomed since then) but will definitely get back around to rewriting and finishing old ones. God help the poor souls who are still commenting on my old stories on my OG fic site because that stuff has been sitting for like 5 years 💀. So like I said above, my falling out of bleach and Naruto is not the end. I'm sure many of you have the same thing! Some things just kind of come and go in terms of what "I'm into" at the time. I'll be trying my best to kick this blog into gear. I've been considering adding another admin, so if you're interested let me know!

❤️

- Admin Jae~

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

I know Freddie Mercury isn’t a superhero, but he’s also maybe a superhero, and I guess I’m gonna put this movie discussion here, because... this blog is already used to my bullshit.

No, but, this is actually a serious thing. This will be lengthy, because I’m approaching this not as a rant, as per usual on this blog, but as a study? I guess? I mean, without research, because I’m in grad school and my brain will crumble if I add any extra research, but yeah. 

I have seen a lot of criticism of the Bohemian Rhapsody movie that I have been giving a lot of thought to. To be completely fair, I sort of have always had this view of Freddie Mercury as a godlike figure. And I love Rami Malek. So, I have been checking and double-checking myself for bias, which is the thing to do in this situation. 

I really enjoyed the film. I am also a screenwriter (MFA student) and I understand and cannot totally ignore the problems with the film. 

One of the things we’ve been taught to do, in my MFA program, is pay attention to things like cultural markers and identity markers in our writing. As in, if we write a bisexual character, what makes them bisexual? If we write a South Asian character, what makes them South Asian? Often, writers will write “diverse” characters just for the sake of having them in the picture, but they will inadvertently be devoid of whatever it is that makes them... part of their culture. This is not my criticism of BoRhap. In fact, this post will not be a criticism, per se. It’s... it’s an examination, and a question. And, full disclosure, I should absolutely be working on stuff for class, right now.

This will be focusing on the portrayal of queerness in BoRhap more than anything. 

When I saw the movie, being queer myself, I was very... excited to hear Freddie say, on screen, that he thinks he’s bisexual. Like, what a moment, in film. I don’t think that happens, often, and I don’t think screenwriters write shit like that. I believe it’s because bisexuality is misunderstood. People assume bisexual men are gay. People assume bisexual women are straight. People think of bisexuality as something you do while you’re in college out of curiosity, or the last stop over to gayville. People think bi people who date or marry members of their same gender are gay/lesbian. People think bi people who date or marry members of a different gender are straight. It’s just a very, very misunderstood sexual orientation, and those of us who identify this way (I mostly do, although I kinda like queer as a general term) really walk on eggshells all the time trying not to ... be constantly judged from all parties, I guess. So, to hear a character say it in a film? And it’s sincere and not a character flaw or played for laughs? I C O N I C.

But the film also undercuts that line immediately, with Freddie’s girlfriend yelling at him that he’s gay. Because a man can’t be bisexual, yenno? If he likes dick at all, he’s gay. (Of course this is wrong as hell, but whatever.)

I guess, that’s part of the reason so many people are unhappy or even angry with the portrayal. One criticism I keep seeing is how it treats queerness as a cautionary tale. How Freddie gets caught up in this “gay underworld” lifestyle and it literally kills him. How redemption is him “straightening up”. (Which actually does not happen in the movie. The movie... ends with him finally settling down with JIM, a man, JIM! How that was read as “straightening up” or I guess becoming hetero to some people is beyond me.)

And mentioning that, there’s criticism of showing Paul Prenter, who I understand re: Queen fans, to be a slimy slimeball piece of crap, as the villain, because Paul is also a gay man. 

So, this is my concern, or I guess, my issue, with these criticisms: much of this is based in the reality of the situation. I’m not suggesting that this film is historically accurate. I’ve seen discussions of timeline issues, invented moments, and Freddie actually never told his bandmates he had AIDS until the day before he died (unlike in the film). But I struggle with the argument that it presents queerness as a cautionary tale when Freddie’s battle with AIDS is actually what happened. He actually died of AIDS related illness in 1991. That’s not to say being gay killed him. A lot of people were gay in the 1980s and did not contract HIV or die of AIDS. But unfortunately, Freddie did.

So, what is the line? When we’re handling stories based on true events, based on real people... what are we supposed to write? Would it have been worse to show Freddie as a healthy man who died in his sleep of natural causes, ignoring his battle with AIDS completely? 

What about the Prenter situation? The man wasn’t a good person, and wasn’t good for Queen or Freddie. I’m not extremely well versed in Queen history, but I do know that Paul Prenter is, well, a villain in the eyes of Queen’s fans, and he did do snake shit to Freddie. Does the fact that he’s also gay mean that should be left out? Or should they have erased Paul’s queerness, so that it’s not suggested that the evil gay person ruined Freddie’s life?

Some of my opinion on that matter should be clear, but I also don’t really know the way they should’ve handled this stuff. I thought, personally, that they handled AIDS delicately, and maybe a little too delicately, but... I thought it was done fine. Freddie wasn’t even blamed for having the disease. And the invented scene where he tells the band before Live Aid (I don’t know that he had even been diagnosed, yet, in real life), was a touching, beautiful scene. Nobody scolds him, or says “you shouldn’t have fucked all those people!” They aren’t angry. They cry together, and tell him he’s a legend and they love him. Then they go get a drink. It wasn’t... at all... very “cautionary tale,” to me. Especially because directly after that moment, he goes and finds Jim Hutton, the man he’s been wanting for a long time, and finally pursues being with him for real. So, what’s the caution, here? Don’t be gay, just be gay? I don’t... get it....

Like, it’s a hard line to tow. Do you... make a huge show of an icon dying from a horrible disease that ravaged the LGBT community terribly during the 1980s? Or do you.... not mention it at all? Or ... do you do what they did and mention it lightly, and try not to make it a huge deal? I don’t know. I’m sure you don’t really know, either. You’d probably try your best, if you were writing this, but ultimately, it’s hard to know what the move is, here. 

That’s not to say that the movie doesn’t have faults. It doesn’t know which story it’s telling. It sort of moves like a “brief history of” type of thing. It’s also 2 hours and 30 minutes long, and still feels like it didn’t go in depth at all. 

I also agree that we see much of Freddie’s vices and little of the other members’ vices. I mean, we get hints of Roger’s affinity towards being with multiple women, but barely. And John and Brian were basically angels. Which... can’t have been realistic, considering they were hot rock stars in the 1970s, when everyone was fucking everyone and everyone was snorting cocaine. I do wish they would’ve showed them all behaving like rock stars, more, instead of showing Freddie throwing lavish parties and the other guys sort of shaking their head and going home to their wives. But also, we don’t see very much of Freddie’s wildness, either. The movie is very, very tame, as rock star biopics go. There’s not even a sex scene. There’s cocaine on a table, but nobody snorts it on screen. There are parties with lots of boys making out and whatnot, but Freddie isn’t even shown really participating in that shit. I honestly think it’s even this tame because the living Queen members had a say.

Like, if Brian May and Roger Taylor weren’t involved in the production, I’m sure we would’ve seen more of their vices, too. And probably more of Freddie’s vices. I think it’s silly for people to suggest they are jealous of Freddie and made it look like Freddie was the only one partying to make themselves look better, because I think Freddie looks damn near innocent in the film, and I think that’s thanks to Brian and Roger protecting his legacy. For instance, we learn towards the end that Freddie has AIDS. But WE NEVER SEE HIM CONTRACT HIV. We don’t see him sleep with some dirty bear in the back of some gay bar in NYC or something. We just... learn he has AIDS. 

That can either be cause for criticism or praise, I guess. From a writing perspective, generally you wouldn’t randomly reveal a character has AIDS without some hint as to how they contracted it, in a narrative like this one that spans like 15-20 years. And also, maybe you could stretch it as an example of that “cautionary tale” business, like “even though Freddie was a good boy, he still got AIDS because of all the gay.” Which... is a reach, and I’m sorry I pulled it out of the sky. They also did one of my least favorite movie tropes, which is “character coughs up blood, so you know he gon die.” Although, IDK if that’s something that every happened to him. Singers can cough up blood just from damaging their throat while doing certain things with their voice, and getting infections and things...

Anyway...

I just... I get the criticism, and I get the instinct to be hypercritical of this movie. After all, Freddie was one of the most unapologetic and influential queer artists in the world. In history. You want to make sure it’s done right and with respect.

But, I genuinely don’t know how they could’ve approached this differently. I mean, I see how changes could be made to make it a better film, narratively speaking. But I’m not sure how I’d write a movie about Freddie Mercury and discuss his battle with AIDS... without the reality that Freddie succumbs to the illness in 1991. Or, how you write about the doomed dealings with Paul Prenter, without acknowledging that he’s a creep, even if he is gay.

See, when shit is based on a true story, it’s harder to navigate these things. Because, I totally understand the reaction to what many perceive is a slight against their people. But, IDK, if I’m writing a Freddie Mercury film, I’d know that he’s going to die, and from what, and I’d know that he kept it to himself, and explore why that is. 

And as for Paul Prenter, fuck that guy. One can be evil and gay. Just as one can be a sweet baby angel and gay (like Jim Hutton.)

The movie has problem. (Another topic for another day). These aren’t problems it has, to me. 

I’d be open to hear others’ opinions, here, but only if you promise not to yell at me (CAPS IS YELLING) or call me names or be a general jerk about things. 

#bohemian rhapsody #rami malek #freddie mercury #queen #gwilym lee #brian may #ben foster #roger taylor #joe mazzello #john deacon #text #long post

[pinkcloudsnightlightbell-remade]

TW heavy

For once I don't feel like asking advice would be a sign of weakness.

I WANT AND DESERVE MORE. I WANT TO LIVE. I DONT WANT TO KEEP WANTING TO DIE. I DONT WANT THIS AND I WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT. LIFE AND STRENGTH AND LOVE SEEMS SO FAR AWAY TIL RECENTLY. BUT IM STILL SO TRAUMATIZED AND SO PRONE TO DEREALIZING. HEALTH AND HAPPINESS ISNT A PRIVILEGE RIGHT...? I WANT MORE. ISNT LIFE A RIGHT

Even if my parents have done their middle class most to feed house and even help get me out of credit pits and even though they aren't physically abusive they have been abusive to my older sister who committed suicide after secretly being a victim of child sexual assault dismissive neglectful emotionally mute narcissistic feudalistic and ableist and rape apologists. I HAVE built up this role and this mask where I am tolerable to them so they do not find me problematic day to day. I keep telling myself that I can be bitter but I just can't shake this feeling that maybe I'm just an entitled millennial who got cucked and I'm wrong. But I have been formulating a plan to get a diploma while I am under their roof then run away one night with some money saved and live alone instead of doing this song and dance of bad class analysis where I pretend like I'm not supposed to be doing anything remotely political just put my head down work make money be less of an embarassment go to a bank get loans just to get degrees certificates jobs get cars move around be socially pleasant meet someone to make babies with (I'm bisexual/pansexual and poly...But I am trans and my parents have major issues confronting that even if they pretend to be absolutely progressive minded" (TM) like being literate and half way informed is the same thing as actually really thinking about microaggressions and oppressive behaviours they enact in oorder to be better supports which they haven't) and while their ~support~ of me being mentally ill/disabled and actively suicidal is something that did come across the first week of our bereavement--literal days before the funeral-- their twisted toxic manner of mourning has made me suicidal at least three times as of 27th December 2018; and their responses to coming out as transmasculine and bi was dont get all PC snowflake on us (Read:shut up about it unless we feel ready to go ask you curtly and rudely) and then two days after when I actually felt soft and tender enough to say I had visions of dying violently because of how terribly small and useless I currently feel they begged and begged me to make calls on my own and handle things myself because Hey We Are Really The Ones Who Are Suffering And Mourning Why Are TWO of Our Daughters Suicidal I Am Truly Suffering. Implied--"we will have insurance cover this therapy shit you should be happy haven't we mentioned it to your idiot face already just leave us alone about this shit". I may have had to survive day after day through my depression since 2014 by thinking they weren't people to open up to but that doesn't mean that they can say that. Imply that. They CANNOT

They cannot.

But they did.

They did it. They fucking did that when my heart finally came around to a place of, "Well I understand that they haven't experienced surviving and being a victim of violence and victim blaming and being transgender is foreign and even vilified so that's fair and here are all their siblings coming to the funeral to feed and help us in the aftermath and to keep us housed through all the preparations so how come, among and amidst all this compassion, they seem so hit by Stupid Bitch disease? Wtf why *shouldnt* anybody deal with depression by themself!

" I don't know that all the fear you felt before this bereavement of being in the same room holds up when they can just be seen as foolish and immature. You can 100% deal through therapy with the ableism and gaslighting you endured the silence around your constant issues with being fired at jobs you hated the the moments of realizing they want to be white passing and are sociopathically happy to be alone and have no hobbies and live in codependent relationships where they treat others like infant children or wayward siblings who need a firm hand but not heart to heart talks or reassurances or loving toughness... so just try to be uncomfortable and just shore up and bolster your underlying hope of seeing your long held affectionate blindly loyal love reciprocated.

"Keep up that small hope and bury all your pain and your furious and sour resentment if it means their happiness is number one in my life. Just do it Isagani! Do that... because it is Good." I tried it and I fell apart. I functioned for a week or two but now I am just as prone to sleeping and alcoholism and moreover, I want to escape but now I feel like hiding my desires to just pay my own way through art college and transitioning in a nearby city is nothing compared to our long history of living as a dysfunctional but somewhat stable household. /:

I FEEL like I understand I should leave but I suddenly feel ... IDK like I'm sinning before Jesus himself. What would it mean to pick up a backpack my laptop and a suitcase of clothes and some money and just go...and... Wouldn't it destroy their happiness and their legitimacy as NOT bigoted parents and NOT bad community members and NOT hypocritical and NOT at all to be blamed. ////:

I would leave them a note... I would say to meet me in 2027 in a town I feel has a small leftist community called Tavistock in South Devon in Britain and I would leave a blog entry where I detail my grief and my pain.

I wrote the post one evening on the 19th where I realized I've been covering for them even though my little lesbian moderately autistic and anxious sister had her birthday and needs my brutal honesty and my parents to stop dismissing me the most.

It (the blog post that is) speaks to my analysis of their issues and I don't want to leave without a note because they might feel like I have just gone away in a panic and might turn up dead just as my late sister did... What I want to know is should I make an escape, or should I stay with them.

I need to decide but I feel so confused. Please help I think I ... can't see a way out

■

isagani \ 26.\ marxist feminist \ communist \ atheist \ very bi. \ filipino migrant. \ transgender nb. \ femme in the s.g.a. woman sense.(anons are open) \ 4 years past a severe depressive breakdown. \ scorpio passing

#Need help and although I was ashamed and thought maybe my true friendship meant opting out of asking for help I want to change that