#idk if the accent marks are right so i tried to look it up and just confused myself way more than before because it seemed inconsistent

[quinn-pop]

Mayta Knight 26-28

26 - Dramatic

27 - Reading

28 - Arena

3 left!!

#text in notes !! #wow these are some of my favorites actually #mayta knight #yeah i make all my blorbos read warriors apparently #meta knight #Kirby #kirbyposting #my art or something have i forgotten to tag that lately #metadad #is bandana important enough to tag him here #bandana waddle dee #bandee #(i guess) #bla bla bla here goes my rant on character stuff ill save you the time #put that orb in situations #also does anyone wanna tell me what the right way to write díos mío is #idk if the accent marks are right so i tried to look it up and just confused myself way more than before because it seemed inconsistent #maybe im just a perfectionist idk

[j-the-writer]

'No matter how long apart'

Carl Gallagher x GN!Reader

Warnings: angst ig? Swearing Not proof read

Word Count: idk

This is my first Shameless fic, might be a tad inaccurate. ❤️❤️❤️ Also my first fic in months, testing the waters basically

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Growing up in the Southside was rough, with no father figure and a mom working 2 jobs just to make ends meet. But there was one person who seemed to make it better. Carl. Carl Gallagher and the whole family seemed like a light in the dark.

You met him while he was looking for animals to torture and, reluctantly, joined in. From then on, you and him were always close, capturing animals and stealing out of donation bins or packages off porches.

You were close but as you both got older, Carl began to drift away. He got involved in gangs and started selling drugs. You spent less and less time with the Gallaghers.

The sentencing was hard, watching them take him away, knowing it would be a year before you'd see him again.

In the beginning, you'd write him letters, telling him about Debbie or Fiona. He stopped responding after a few months.

Without Carl around, you started helping around the Gallagher house more, watching Liam and helping with bills.

A year would pass and he'd come back. You can still remember him walking through the front door. A rushing feeling of excitement and then... confusion.

Carl was different. Corn rows, long gold chains and an accent you'd never heard from him before. He acted like he didn't care and was too 'cool' for you, or even his family.

So you stopped coming around again, only popping in to check on Fiona or Debbie once in a while.

And..that brings us to now. The soft sound of rain on your bedroom window and the ever so often crinkling of paper.

You'd let out a sigh, staring down at your homework, your chin resting in your hand. Math..never one of your strong suits.

3 ×^2 times 4x - 9...

Brrrrrrrr....Brrrr...

You'd jump a bit, looking down at your phone. The caller ID was a phone number Fiona used to call you.

You'd set down the pencil, picking up the phone and holding it to your ear. "Hey Fi..what's up?"

Silence. "Hello..?"

"Hey.." His voice was low, soft. A bit shaky even. Carl.

"What do you want?" You'd say, eyes narrowing as you leaned back in your desk chair. Carl had barely spoken a word to you in 3 months. Why now?

"I..well.." He'd sigh. "Can you- can you come over?..please. i..I need you." He sounded desperate, like he couldn't breathe.

This was a side you hadn't seen of Carl since you were kids, if ever.

"Right..um, you're at home right?"

"yeah, just get out here as fast as you can please. I need you."

That was enough to convince you. With a quick goodbye, you'd hang up the phone, abandoning your homework and slipping on a pair of boots.

You'd pull a jacket on, precariously opening the bedroom window and slipping out. Rain droplets dotted your face as you jogged out of your yard, through the gate, towards the Gallagher house, towards Carl.

It was dark, late and nobody was around to see you. To see you in your pajamas and a pair of rainboots running down the street.

The Gallagher house came into view, a figure sitting on the porch stoop.

The wooden stairs let out a groan under your weight and they'd look up.

"Shit Carl- what happened?" His forehead had a nasty mark and stitches.

You'd drop down to sit next to him, hand moving to his cheek, turning his face so you could get a better look.

"I know it's been a while, I should be bothering you..I'm sorry." He'd say, looking at you. Carl's eyes were glassy with tears, though you could tell he was fighting it.

"It's okay, Carl. I've missed you.'' You'd murmur.

It's like that flipped a switch. Carl would reach over, arms around you in a tight hold as he pressed his face into your shoulder, softly sniffling before crying.

His shoulders would fall up and down rapidly as he tried to stop crying. His fingernails dug into your back as he sobbed.

You don't know what to say. You've never seen Carl like this. A part of you is relieved he's come back and still feels comfortable with you. Another part is saying that something shitty must've happened to make him this desperate.

Your arms wrap around him, your chin resting in his hair, breathing in his scent. Some cheap cologne he thought was cool probably.

"Wanna go inside and talk about it?" Carl's cries stop for just a second and he nods, pulling away and wiping his nose.

You both stand up. He opens the door, heading inside. You'd pause, looking after him for a split second.

You'd think. About the corn rows, the accent, the chains, the new attitude, just how much he changed.

But, you'd head inside anyways.. Because no matter how long apart you two were or how much Carl changed, he was still your best friend and you loved him.

#first fic ina while #shameless #carl gallagher #carl gallagher x reader #fanfic #angst

[hearted-anon]

Hello, I know you had like a lot of lee!changbin fics but I think you could create like a lee!Minho and ler!bangchan. Maybe Lee know could get a lee mood that progressively gets worse. And then goes to chan and like acts bratty to get like a punishment. I don't know honestly. I've never written so idk how hard it is. Good luck.

Here kitty kitty~

Words: 2k Note: AHH my first inbox! Sorry this took so long.. and lee know always looks so done with Chan.. cuties T/w: Use of tools, restraints, begging Lee: know Ler: Channie

Lee Know absolutely hated this feeling. The feeling of butterflies swarming his tummy, the way he would stamp his feet and giggle like a female high-schooler in those retro movies when he watched clips of him being tickled, seeing his bright smile that he was always quick to hide, he hated it.

And to say he absolutely despised lee moods were an understatement.

It started off as a weird tingling feeling on his body, not enough to hinder his performance but enough to make itself known. Then it progressively made its way basically everywhere, including his soul. It was tearing him apart, mentally and physically, jumping at every small touch his members would give, and scowling right after before storming off.

Worried the members tried their very best to reach out to no avail, only earning very harsh words that spewed from the bunny's mouth, telling them that it wasn't their business. It wasn't, but concerned frowns were all over their faces as Lee Know grew more secluded and solemn, as if he had made a cat den in his room at that point.

He scoured through the internet in his best attempts to find what kept him so flustered and so up at night, tired of ignoring his members as he didn't want to be so open about this weird new experience, and his eyes finally landed on exactly what he wanted. His heart dropped and his eyes widened, refreshing the page over and over again to clear his doubts as the words stared right back at him.

A lee mood..? Wanting to be tickled? That was ridiculous!

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knocking on his door, making him groan to his absolute dismay. Flinging open the door in his frustration, he was met with none other than Chan, who wore concern as if it was his clothing around him, a bag of something in his hands. He looked him up and done as if a judge, before letting the leader inside with no questions asked. The kangaroo gave a small but warm smile, melting the bunny's interior in less than a second.

"What's wrong? You've been quite moody recently..." The older started off hesitantly, waddling towards the dancer to cuddle him when he noticed that Minho curled towards himself in bed with a very obvious pout. The younger let out a shriek of surprise, only heightening his mood more as an more obvious flush than his pout made its way to his face.

When the bunny didn't respond, Chan only spiralled deeper into worry, searching his bag to pull out what looked like a cat toy. It had a feather attached at the end, making Minho wonder in confusion, and more of the other one where it made his mind turn to mush.

"I heard this is good for gentle therapy, or something, but please?" The oldest pleaded with what could be considered the cutest little puppy face Lee Know had ever seen, making him babble in protest before ultimately giving in, by that it meant lasting for ten seconds. He was too cute; and it was a terrifying weapon towards the members at times, most likely also not knowing what he was even talking about.

With consent finally in place, the younger shuddered when he felt the fluffy item run gently under his chin, making him bit his lip to hold down his giggles. He must've made quite the scene, as Chan soon enough let up when it barely hit the minute mark, staring at the dancer's cheeks in mischievousness that bloomed behind his worried expression.

"Lee Minho, does it perhaps...tickle to you?" Chan chuckled lowly, the Australian accent prominent through his soft laughter as his fingers that once wrapped the younger in a comforting embrace curled into his side, the other hand toying with the feather item right in front of his eyes. The oldest finally caught the gist of what was happening, and was going to finally lure the cat out of its den.

"S-Shut up, old man." Minho internally cursed himself for stammering, squeaking when he felt fingers press into his side. He curled himself into the leader, wanting to crawl back into his den after just gaining a sliver of hope dangled above him that his stupid mood would finally be solved. But when it was someone that teasing, someone who was going to do this to him? He would rather dig his own grave.

"Nah ah~ Not how you talk to your elders, and I think you need a little lesson, hm?" Chan tutted at the dancer's predicament, giggling along with him when he noticed the flustered smile plastered on his face when he brought the toy closer. Of course he never touched the dancer, he wanted him to beg, beg for his reward that wasn't going to come unfairly to him.

"That's why you're so old." The cat hissed, his scowl returning to hide the swarms of butterflies that made his tummy feel like he was going to ascend. The leader might've been his only hyung, but he was really going to risk it all before admitting that he wanted to be tickled silly. Unfortunately or fortunately, Chan took it as his last straw, pinning the bunny's wrists high above his head and tying it down with his belt, the leather surface against his wrists so it wouldn't hurt.

The cat, now forced to leave its shelter had his eyes widened, crumbling before Bangchan's eyes while his knees were turning to jelly. He tugged and pulled at the belt that restrained his arm, finally realising the consequences of his bratty behaviour. No matter to Chan, he was going to make him pay with laughter soon enough. The younger squealed again when the same cat toy made its comeback down his arms, curse himself for wearing a tank top today in courtesy of his mood.

He clamped down his lips hard enough to bleed, whimpering when the feather went a little bit too close to his armpit before trailing back up, shaking his head in the light, ticklish torture that he was forced to endure.

"Here kitty kitty~ Are you going to tell me what you want?" The older cooed sweetly, earning a not so very nice snap of insults through held back giggles from the dancer. The leader heaved a disappointed sigh, when would Minho realise that it wasn't wrong to feel this way? It'll be fine, he'll ensure that that's the only thing he'll remember by the end of this.

"ARGH! Hyuhuhung stop it!" Minho shrieked when his other arm was tortured with Chan's nails, manicured to perfection that trailed down his smooth skin slowly and delicately, making it tickle much more than it should've. Out came no response, only the soft trailing of the feather and his nails that always went to dip near his armpits just to leave. Eventually the older got bored, although the younger was practically writhing in agony of anticipation, he wanted more.

Lifting up the dancer's shirt, the trailed the toy around his belly button, his nails now drawing tiny hearts around the area with a knowing smirk on his face, awaiting the crack he was wanting the dancer to finally have.

"NO! P-Plehehease not this!" Minho begs, just wanting the stupid toy to finally dip into his navel, but nothing happened, and neither did Chan say anything. He just continued lazily tracing around his navel, leaving Lee Know to suffer in the anticipation that he brought upon himself.

"Fine! I'll beheheg! T...Tickle mehehe!" He finally caves, unable to take the gentle tracing anymore when they neared too close to his ribs, then down to his hips, then around his sides, but all of it was futile when his hands refused to move anywhere near the certain area, only focusing back onto his stomach eventually.

"The cat finally comes out of its den, how cute~" Chan taunts relentlessly, before putting the cat toy aside to rummage through his bag again. He came out with what looked like a hair brush, with the softest bristles ever. Minho gulped, he was so dead, he hoped his members had prepared his coffin in advance as the brush hovered over his tummy.

"I was going to brush your hair with this, but maybe I could give that stomach a cute little hairdo!" Obviously he was joking, it'd be another world if his tummy could grow hair. Lee Know shook his head, stamping his feet onto the bed as if it would save him from the leader's fingers. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing in advance for the brush to finally torture his waist.

However, he was met with his throat tearing out a squeal when he felt lips attach to his stomach, blowing a long and loud raspberry onto it. There was no sign of the brush, only those torturous nails scribbling gently all over his bare armpits that drove him up the wall. How dare Chan trick the cat? What a bad person Minho thought, well through his cackles.

"GAHAHAH! NOHOHO!" He squealed out, pulling at his arms that didn't want to come down with the belt holding them up, his face starting to heat up if it wasn't red enough already. Again, silence, but only because the leader was busy with giving all the raspberries to that tummy, his hands switching to kneading right into the middle of his armpits, making Minho shriek and cackle with laughter that bounced off the walls.

"PLEHEHEHEASE! MERCY!" He pleads to no avail, only earning a low giggle that vibrated against his stomach, only tickling him more. He babbles for mercy when everything suddenly stops, only for the older to pull down his pants slightly to reveal his v-line that was staring back at Chan hungrily. Well maybe that brush wasn't going to be used, but he was dead.

"Minho, I'm hungry, would you care to make me food?" Chan asks mischievously, giving a chance for the younger to breathe, which he was grateful for as he sucked in as much air as he could.

"Y-Yes! Anything you want, just pleAHAHAHA HYUHUHUNG!" The moment the bunny nodded, thinking he would be finally let off the hook Chan went right for the exposed sliver of skin, nibbling and giving raspberries as rough as he could, his fingers kneading and vibrating into his inner thighs.

He was sent into another bout of loud hysterics, he felt so content, so overwhelmed but happy with the electrifying sensations that coursed through his body, digging his heels into the bed from the intense torture as he thrashed around in his grip. Arching his back, he couldn't do anything but that, crashing back into the bed soon after.

"Nah ah ah~ You wanted this, where do you think you're going?" The leader smiles innocently, as if he's not tearing the cat into pieces in this very moment. Silent laughter made his way down the dancer's cheeks, shaking his head as he felt like he was going to ascend, trying to close his legs shut together to no avail when the fingers didn't let up.

Tears soaked the pillow case, he had no idea how long it had been succumbing to the torture before he was let up, trembling in exhaustion and totally not with a side of happiness. His arms were released, but it felt like he was paralysed, every muscle in his body was not cooperating with him right now. He couldn't feel his legs, nor his arms, just take his whole body as a living lump that he couldn't feel anything anymore. What he could feel was a certain pair of arms embracing him though, pulling him in for a real cuddle this time.

"You're so....bahahad." Minho grumbled, pouting when the giggles wouldn't stop getting the best of him. Chan simply smiled, melting the dancer's heart when those eyes crinkled and his dimple showed through, making him forgive the leader in an instant. He felt his eyes droop when the brush that never got its chance to shine went through his hair, feeling his heart finally lift from its chains of being embarrassed.

Maybe next time he wouldn't be so embarrassed, as Chan pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

#ok this was super fun #i wrote this in class too #lee!minho #lee!know #ler chan #ler bangchan #..?

[hayleythesugarbowl]

So I was gonna ask for another Angela Giarratana x reader but your request are closed 🥲🥲🥲 but I think we can talk this out *slides you the 1.04$ left in my bank account* but fr if you feel up to it or wanna save this for later feel free to and you don’t have to do it but I was thinking maybe Angela gets jealous when someone from the cast flirts with reader but it’s part of a bit Angela doesn’t know about and maybe they were playing legacy, betrayal or something idk that’s up to you and I know you don’t write smut so maybe like Angela gets jealous and leave hickeys and bite marks on readers neck when there having a water break or something 💁‍♀️ idk just a lil something or write what you want bae it’s up to you not me ❤️❤️ remember 1.04$ has your name on it 😉

Jealousy, jealousy || Angela Giarratana x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

summary: oneshot where angela finds herself jealous when another member of the cast flirts with you and she decides to let you know that you’re hers

word count: 1.3k

warnings: hickeys

a/n: ahh sorry this took so long babes but i’m so happy to get this request out for you. this is a little bit out of my comfort zone so keep that in mind but i hope you enjoy this!! also im ashamed to admit my smosh games lore is a little rusty so i didn’t include legacy betrayal hope that’s ok!! also i wouldn’t dream of making anyone pay for a fic so forget about it 💋🎀 enjoy!!

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“Ok, I’m working on a character,” Amanda said to you as you waited on set for filming to start. 

     “You? A character? Never!” You teased her, feigning shock. You’d been at Smosh since long before Amanda and ever since you’d known her she was always working on one character or another. 

     “Her name’s Annabelle Charlemagne,” she said, already adopting an accent, “and you are absolutely stunning darling, can I buy you a beverage?”

     She was fully in character now, so you played along.

     “I’d be honored,” you batted your eyelashes at her.”

     “I just have never seen such exceptional beauty. I am charmed.” She grabbed your hand and kissed it. 

     You glanced over and saw Angela watching you from afar. Catching you staring  at her she quickly looked away. But not before giving you a wink and a smile. 

     Angela. You two had been dating for a few weeks now, and you couldn’t be happier. But you hadn’t exactly told the rest of the cast yet. You were planning on waiting for the right time, but you hadn’t found it yet. 

     You knew it was killing Angela. You had no problem keeping your relationship a secret. It was easy and safe and you didn’t want to deal with your friends’ thousands of questions just yet. 

      But Angela was not as great at keeping her mouth shut about everything. You knew she wanted to let the cat out of the bag. Or rather, couldn’t help herself from accidentally giving everyone a sneak peek at a paw or whiskers. More than once you’d had to cover for her calling you ‘babe’ or her absentmindedly reaching over to touch you.

     Not that you two didn’t have your hidden moments. Sneaking off in between shows or volunteering to go work on something together. You couldn’t stop a blush from forming on your cheeks at the thought of all the things the walls had seen here that all of your friends hadn’t. 

     Now, Amanda’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.

     “Anyways darling, I’d love to get your number but—oh, I’ve forgot my cellular, one moment, let me fetch my husband’s.”

     She stared at you, losing the accent. “Get it, cause I’m flirting with you… but I’m married? And British!”

     You laughed, “Right. Well I’m still waiting on that beverage.”

     She fluffed her hair, “In due time.”

     “Alright everyone, quiet on set.”

     You shifted away from Amanda, preparing to start filming. You looked around at the rest of the cast—you loved your job here. Glancing over at Angela, you tried to catch her eye, but she wasn’t looking at you. She was looking down, a troubled expression on her face. You’d talk to her after this shoot, you told yourself. Maybe you two could even get lunch together later. It seemed like forever ago since you’d done that last. And you hadn’t even been dating a month yet! The director’s booming voice brought your attention back to the present. 

     “Rolling…and action!”

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

     “Alright everyone, take 10,” the director called. Everyone in the cast began filing out of the studio, taking a break before they had to finish filming this show. You joined them, heading to the next room for water.

     You had just stepped towards your bag and began to rifle through it when you felt someone behind you.

     “Guess who?”

     You didn’t turn around right away. You knew who. 

     “Spencer?”

     “Try again,” she said, quieter this time with a hint of amusement in her voice.

     “Chris Kattan?”

     “Ok, if one more person tells me that—” she started incredulously.

     You turned around, smiling at her “Kidding.”

     She reached out and brushed a strand of hair back from your face. “Hey beautiful, I haven’t had time alone with you all day.” 

     It was true. It felt like you spent less and less time together—what between filming and trying to not seem like you were dating.  You leaned into her touch, and she stepped towards you. 

      You remembered yourself and spun back around, “Angela, not here.”

      You felt her breath on your hair as she leaned towards you and said, “I don’t see anyone here.”

     “Angela, what are you—”

     Without warning, you felt her mouth on your neck. She began trailing kisses down your shoulder and you suppressed a shudder, leaning into her. 

     “Ange, what if someone sees us?” You whispered, glancing around nervously.

     She kept her lips on you, biting down softly as she sucked at the skin on your neck.

     You closed your eyes, savoring this stolen moment despite yourself. 

     “Angela—”

     “(Y/n)? You want me to stop?” she looked up at you.

     “No, definitely no.”

     She continued, bringing her lips to your ear. She was silent for a while, and then—

     “Still thinking about Amanda?” She breathed, her voice hoarse.

     “What?” You managed. That was the last thing you’d expected her to say. 

     “I saw you…earlier,” for the first time, you detected a hint of uncertainly in her voice.

      You tried to recall what she was talking about. 

     “You know, with the ‘oh you’re gorgeous darling’ and ‘why thank you take me home with you’,” You could tell she was trying to keep her tone light. You tried not to smile at her dedication to the character, even in a situation like this. 

     “That? Angela, she was showing me a bit,” you couldn’t help but smile now. “I—Wait, is that what this is about?”

     “What a girl can’t kiss her girlfriend without having ulterior motives!” You raised an eyebrow at her and she looked down sheepishly. “Ok, fine maybe I was a little jealous.”

     You marveled at the fact that Angela Giarratana was jealous. Because of you. You’d made her jealous. “Well, you don’t have to worry about anything. I love you, remember.”

     “Yeah you do,” Angela waggled her eyebrows and leaned her head against your shoulder. You rolled your eyes at her—she was impossible—but you realized you were grinning.

     “I love you more.”

      You looked at her against you, this beautiful woman who cared so much about you, and kissed her. She kissed you back wrapping her hands around your neck. 

     “Thought you were afraid people will see us?” Angela mumbled against your lips. 

     “I don’t care,” and as you said it, you realized it was true. You didn’t need to wait for a “right time” to tell your friends about your relationship. “I don’t care if they find out.”

     “Glad you felt that way, because if we didn’t tell them that hickey sure will.”

     You looked down at your neck where a mark was already starting to form, evidence of Angela’s jealousy. 

     “Good, let them know I’m yours.”

     “I like the sound of that,” Angela said, “Shall we?” She gestured to the doorway.

     You nodded, taking her hand and walking into the next room and over to the center  where all of the cast was mingling, taking advantage of the break.

     When you towards them, all eyes eventually turned to you and Angela, settling on your interlocked fingers. Your friends traded looks. 

     Amanda spoke up first, “(Y/n)? Angela? You, and you?” 

     “And is that a hickey?”

     “You wanna take this or should I?” Angela asked you, her eyes twinkling. Everyone stared at you and Angela, awaiting an explanation.

      “Nothing much to tell, other than you all should know Angela’s a possessive, jealous—”

     “Well if you’re not going to tell it right—” she interrupted loudly. 

     You looked at her, letting her know you were only teasing. 

     “Well, they always say actions speak louder than words,” you said before kissing her again. This time in front of everyone else. “Besides,” you whispered, only to her, your lips trailing down her jawline “it’s only fair if I return the favor and make you mine.”

     “Oh, (Y/n), I’ve been yours for a while now.”

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ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this!! i have another angela x reader in the works so keep your eye out for that and as always feedback is always appreciated even negative i swear <3

#angela giarratana x reader #angela giarratana #smosh fanfiction #smosh imagine #smosh #amanda lehan canto #smosh pit #smosh squad #x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

idk if u still take requests or smut requests at that but drug dealer kenny doing a deal with reader and they forgot their money so they pay in blowjobs (and if you can, could you mention a bit about reader being chubby or whatever?)

mhmhm yesyesyes. fyi i imagine druggie kenny having a boston accent. and he wears all black with the chains and the light brown crocs with the stupid charms on them.

and yes i take requests sorry that im not doing them in the order i get them anymore.

"you got the shit?" you ask impatiently right as you walk up to him sitting on the bench.

kenny holds out the black package labeled "contains THC" to you, asking "you got the money?" pulling it out of your reach just as you grab for it.

sighing, you move to looking in your bag for the twenty bucks you swore you had in there.

the two of you met in a forest, there was this little wooden picnic table and shit like that and it was super secluded, which made it perfect for this kind of stuff.

"do you?" kenny asks, smoking a blunt he'd just rolled as he sits on the table.

"give me a minute." you groan and search around for the money that you know you don't have.

"i don't have all day, sweetheart."

"i forgot it." you admit. "that or i lost it or something.. listen im sorry.. but.. i'll pay you back!"

kenny only chuckles and gets off the table to sit next to you on the bench. "no worries." he hands you the blunt and you take it, taking a hit off it.

it hit the back of your throat chillingly hard, the sting felt so good you wanted more so you took another, and another.

"that's enough. that shits real strong sweetheart, so don't take too much."

and that's when it starts to hit you. you start forgetting what happened moments before, and the world starts spinning. everything is funny and looks unreal. it all looks like you can just walk right through it.

this is what you loved so much about being high.

"you okay?" kenny smirks at you when you look at him. you nod with a big smile. "you're high, sweetheart?"

"mhm.." you nod.

"oh but you need to pay, sweetheart.. how are you going to do that, exactly? hmm let's think.." kenny says, looking up and rubbing your back to keep your attention. "sweetheart, you ever sucked cock before?"

you giggle, "yeah."

"good. get on your knees."

hesitating before he warns, "go on." you get down onto the ground and on your knees.

"got the nicest thighs." kenny compliments and you look down to see them spread out.

your cleavage was out completely and kenny was staring right at your heart. you grew self conscious of your stretch marks and tried to cover them with your arms but kenny just rubbed them and eased them away.

"they're pretty. you're pretty."

#vanillaan #request #kenny south park x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny mccormick smut #kenny south park #kenny mccormick

[werewroammin]

my side designs

[ID: a lineup of all six sides. from left to right, the order is roman, janus, remus, patton, logan, and virgil.

roman is wearing his prince outfit with white top and pants, gold accents, red sash, and black boots. he is tan skinned and he has brown hair and brown eyes. their hair is short and mildly fluffy. they have a scar on the left side of their jaw and diagonally across their nose. he has a doodle of a crown above his head and some heart shaped glasses, with an arrow pointing to him and text that reads “glasses (sometimes)”. there is text that says 5’7”

janus is wearing their dress shirt, capelet, yellow gloves, black slacks, black shoes, and bowler hat. they are pale with light green scales on the left side of their face. they have long blonde hair and their left eye is green and their right eye is brown. there is a good chain connected to their capelet. there is text that says 5’8”

remus is wearing his black top with green puffy shoulders, silver accents, and green sash. they have a puffy black skirt with green lining. she wears hot pink high heeled crocs. it is pale with long fluffy brown hair and a blonde patch of hair in the front, and a brown mustache. faer smile reveals sharp teeth. pup has scars under kits right eye, on vaeir neck, and on weres legs. ey have a beauty mark on stars right cheek. there is text that says 5’5”

patton is wearing his light blue polo shirt, grey cat hoodie around her neck, khaki shorts, grey socks, and brown sandals. he is fair skinned and has dark brown eyes and dark brown hair similar to romans. she has rectangular glasses. he has leg hair visible between her socks and shorts. there is text that says 6’0”

logan is wearing her black polo shirt, dark blue tie, light blue jeans, and black converse. it is tan skinned and has brown curly hair and brown eyes. he’s wearing circular framed glasses. she has freckles across its face. there is text that says 5’4”

virgil is wearing a purple zip up hoodie, black t shirt, black jeans, and black shoes. they are pale and their right eye is purple and their left eye is green. they have short straight blonde hair that goes slightly over their eyes. they have freckles across their face and black eyeshadow under their eyes. there is text that says 6’1”

there is almost transparent text that says januskin. End ID]

~

idk if the proportions or heights are right??? but i tried. also i might change the clothes at some point idk. it’s been a while since ive drawn regularly so this isn’t my best work but i wanna get back into art and get better

i know my designs aren’t exactly creative but i like em!!!! and i know roman looks basically the exact same but why mess with perfection? kajdjdjffj

now for pronouns

roman: he/they

janus: they/them

remus: every pronoun ever

patton: she/he

logan: she/he/it

virgil: they/them

#janus draws #sanders sides #sanders sides fanart #roman sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders

[crazyw3irdo]

✖️️ 🍭 :3 <3

✖️️ Is there something you don’t like about your special interest?

the amount of control markiplier has over my emotions /j mmmmm i think the lack of clarity over what’s canon and what isn’t? i know like. it’s not supposed to be a big deal, right? cause the whole point of wmlw is to say that focusing on small details will get you nowhere, its more of a "big picture" and "go with it" kind of thing, but just. is markiplier tv canon. how much of wilford and dark's appearances before wkm are canon. which of the characters named "mark" are actor and which arent. if the nude calendar is canon does that mean the characters canonically posed for this how the fuck did they get damien to do that hes dead-

🍭 What’s a headcanon/theory you have about your special interest?

oh god i have so fucking many. so many serious ones and joke ones too idk which to bring up um- okay one joke one half-joke one serious

joke: yancy is derek derekson's son and one of eric's brothers. he survived the car crash and came back and killed derek. i like this theory because it means derek is dead <3

half-joke: yancy is cool patrol!mark. white shirt. leather jacket. theatre kid energy. it all fits. we never hear cool patrol!mark speak so we don't know about the accent. he's never referred to by name. let my boy have hobbies and friends-

serious: fuck it this one can be a yancy theory too- the reason he has the accent despite being from ohio and his father not having that accent is cause he watched west side story all the time growing up and fuckin loved it. he based his entire personality on it as a kid and tried to imitate the way the jets talked and it just stuck. it helps him feel tough. he gets a lot of nightmares. he absolutely loves musicals cause he watched a bunch of movie musicals growing up. i know ppl tend to agree what he has rolled up in his sleeve is cigarettes and idk what else itd be but cmon hes a singer he shouldnt damage his voice like that :( that said he does think it makes him look cool and he has tried to smoke on occasion but he just ends up coughing and not knowing what he's really doing. also this theory is bust cause as of iswm he semi-canonically (confirmed in a livestream) just has magical tattoos that change depending on reality but for a while i headcanoned his "dark mark" knuckle tats were referencing the bit in adwm where the horror play was called "dark mark" further evidencing my theatre kid theory. also when he gets out of jail bird wing tattoos appear on his back. his favorite color is yellow. his best friend in prison is heapass. he wants to drive a motorcycle for the aesthetic but he has no clue how. he thinks his tough guy act is fooling the whole prison but literally no one has fallen for it. this paragraph got out of hand. THIS CHARACTER HAS LIKE 15 MINUTES OF SCREENTIME-

#audience participation #that last paragraph was not going to be that long it was going to be like two sentences about a different character #i just cant help myself #also :D hiiiii <3 #crazwaz posted

[ralucasalmostgone]

though yeah,

good for Theo's spirit awareness (hey thanks, btw, wazzap?)

nobody is gonna escape that accent/education problem, not as long as there's still a bridge between me and Romania like so:

Andreea has never had my healthy brain and body so...

this is YOUR problem now

(cause there's a guy there, not a girl)

and a guy that sits in Andreea's head too, never letting her be me for real, ever, voice and temporal and frontal lobe control included 🙄

---

she doesn't deserve to be me obviously, yet she's willing to pretend to be me but only if I'm not me

she can't do anything in general that I can do and she's never looked like me so...

would I allow her to continue lying this way? that she ever looked like me?

cause that's all I have: her lying and continuing to lie

so she left me no choice but constant removal of me from her and from anyone associated with her, where she might retreat after failing abroad: back to her home country

where she will continue lying because her IQ is that of a fish, when mine has been something else and pretty extraordinary (in a noticeable fashion, without perception even, so she knows 🙄)

funny how she did not see the warning signs either: if she truly believes in my better intelligence (enough to call me only for that), you'd think she'd be able to see what's gonna happen to her when she's only pretending to be smart 🙄

---

cause that's the last thing: her lying she's intelligent enough...

that she's a Velma at least, if not a real Daphne...

---

I mean, I never saw that in my entire life! so when she started getting rewarded for being herself that way all the time, I was filled with a lot of questions marks. but I wasn't that surprised either!

when I started Uni, I was still pretty filled with chagrin but ready all at the same time (the previous teachers had made a random mess of my grades so I knew then and there was no more objectivity left in any grading system: even if I wanted high marks I would never get them correctly and objectively ever again!)

so I didn't try and I was also really right, ahead of time: the lecturers were only interested in having their asses kissed (which is the complete opposite of ME). so it was a good idea to not divide my intelligence and my projects with a bunch of less-than-average individuals.

but Andreea...Andreea was made for that! for kissing someone's ass, any authority figure! she would anything to get a father figure replacement to confirm to her that she's not stupid. so she did the exact opposite, found a bunch of "adoptive parents" and would stick to them like bees to honey

---

and I supported that from the future so she would lock herself up in a white collar job made for minions and anyone who bows down to cruelty as an authority figure around me (like Dr House is) would take on the same doctor/biology-connected job - so would not grow a larger brain for sure or more intelligent and so prove to me that this type of factory worker exists (and it exists for me to exploit and drain out of life and health, all the way until I finish my current control). and that there's nothing wrong with paying cruelty with cruelty (when you're God or House MD ha ha).

---

so she's not better and most human rewards and achivements depend on me and my moods

I just fooled her into thinking the small rewards are a sign of a bigger thing - which I can...

because

Idk it's a feeling thing, like a psychopath: you give a false sense of safety when you want to trap criminals

which is like, that's what they're stealing in the first place, from me, all the psychos and murderers out there... 🙄

you know what I mean?

I'm pretty good at this

I tried to warn these 2 girls in high school at some point. I noticed the Logic teacher starts laughing right before giving a student a very bad grade (all to ruin their average) and that he laughs to give a false sense of safety to his "victims".

So anyway, he asked the 2 girls some questions and they didn't answer correctly, he starts laughing, they start laughing with him (at that point, because I'm sitting across them, I'm like..."NOOO, you fools, noooo!" all desperate like on my face: "you're wrong!")

and then he just like, gives them the worst imaginable grades! leaving them stumped: which was what he wanted to see anyway!

he wanted to see you be stupid TWICE in a row!

that's where he gets off! for real! he was a psycho!

and you'd have to be perceptive enough to get it! 🙄

...

but anyway, I kinda took his little girl (she died) so he got depressed and drank after that and accompanied the Math teacher (with his own dead family) in their little teacher's lounge conversations.

they both wronged me

like the Religion teacher who ruined God's average unfairly! (it was so unfair! he was a total bitch!)

so I hit him with a car and he ended up in stitches and walking with crutches...

...

yeah, not a good time (high school) to be a male teacher of God 🙄

there was also the new Philosophy teacher (I did Philosophy when I was 14 instead - in Uni - but the actual subject we do it when I'm 18)

he was caught being a perv and sleeping with one student so he had to leave town to another city (especially when the student killed herself through suicide, by jumping off a balcony) - he fled like a little bitch...

and then we had a childish Philosophy teacher that was totally useless, so I studied by myself - regardless of his absentee presence (where he ruined my average anyway (!) so something bad was bound to happen to him eventually) and I got the highest grade at the Baccalaureate anyway in Philosophy - 98 - because of studying by myself

I'm really good when I study by myself, since I was a child - but when I was a child, even the Biology teacher would let me do it by myself! 🙄

As I get older, we have to do something about the male teachers around and most of it involves punishment, unless I do something about it, by choosing to study more and more by myself 🙄

---

See? I'm not just intelligent, I'm also the main moral authority around: and everyone fails morally but me...

So I think I do a pretty job when I manage ALL these aspects that involve my entire God presence on Earth! 🙄

I don't harm others: they do! And they harm others in return! So I do what is morally sound in time since that's the dimension that involves other individuals! 🙄

But as a Lord God, since that's who I am for real.

[snapped-in-half]

Trolls characters as insane shit i said on instagram and maybe irl, some r posted by my friends, some arent.

Im fucking bored sorry.

TW: mentions of Eating Disorders and suicide and sex and genuine triggering stuff. Also Necrophilia mention. whoops ig

"Im actually literally the best oral sex machine ever no joke" - Maybe John Dory or show branch. hes too fucking goofy

"The Bulimia made my head godly trust" - Bruce cuz bro the abs thing MUSTVE given him an ed, or floyd, istg hes the most emo dude ever, veneer being a star and fat is a challenge idk who else i just have a mental illness and bad humor man. and yes I mean head as in dick suckening or pussy eating. but in the context of what i said, i meant dick sucking.

"The suicide wont be worth it, i reached something" - Branch. Im sure.

"cant believe i, a hot girl, cant be hot all the time because i could cause global burning even more" - Satin, or Chenille.

This is maybe 90% rock broppy 10% other ships idfk. a convo w me and my friend

"Wait, Im so sorry, pls watch human centipede w me, ur the only in my life id watch ppl eat shit with"

"aww how sweet"

"What if I act like the worst tourguide ever..."

"dont"

*proceeds to tell wrong and right facts in a very fake movie accent*

- this is brozone.

"give me some fantasy monster stds pennywise"

- this is probably.... Creek. nothing else, i just rlly hate him. he is so evil i think he should be unbelievably unhinged sometimes, the reply could be anything from anyone tbh.

(the reply to this was from my friend: I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON???)

"life is a stage, and girl i dont mind being the villain AND main character" - Veneer, Velvet, Queen Barb. Im sorry this line of mine is too iconic actually. this was in texts tho. comforting someone who gives a fuck too much.

"IM BEING HAUNTED BY FUCKING SKIBIDI TOILET"

- Guy diamond, only AND ONLY because he has a baby son that probably has those ipads witg youtube shorts.

"i still have the damn mark on m neck from when i tried to hang myself in the 7th grade" - Literally the baby brothers in brozone, or some rock trolls, cuz like they look like theyd hang or try to hang themselves in school.

Genuinely I got too lazy to like type this one down. But these r the gay bitches and creek's fucked up ass.

*Has a literal breakdown about being a good friend*

30 seconds later

"Damn Triangles make up so much things"

- This is Poppy. Like shit.

#trolls #trolls band together #trolls world tour #tw: ed mention #tw: suicide mention #tw: sex stuff

[drewsaturday]

randomly watched last night in soho instead of sleeping bc i realized i don't watch movies but doing so flosses my brain a little. anyway thoughts now that it is not 4 am

ellie must be protected at all costs, big autism energy

jacosta is not someone i have the braincells to articulate, but i think she was written as a Mean Girl really well. surface level getting along, projecting her insecurities onto others ("why'd ellie talk about that she must be looking for attention" from the girl who tries to make everything about herself etc)

ellie's different styles throughout the movie were very cool to see

i liked the twist about the old man not being jack. at a certain point i'd wondered if it could be that other guy, but i went back to it being jack til the twist.

i liked how supportive ellie's teacher was as well as her grandmother

i also really love the wish fulfillment of getting to look back at mistreated girls of the past and hug them and tell them you understand

however

and i say this as someone who did go in knowing there were some twists so i knew to look out for stuff and maybe that ruined the experience

last half of the film kinda didn't feel as tight? idk, all the visions of the dead guys seemed to take too much time aj;skdjfklj the bleeding of dreams and reality, while i know it was a result of hallucinogens that maybe became more permanent, broke the logic for me as well. i know ellie can see/sense those energies awake or not, and the sleeping was meant more to body swap her and she became more aware of those energies as a result of those experiences but idk, felt random at times. why did one experience give her a physical mark (hickey), did the others, etc.

lots of plot holes. like ellie not getting impacted as bad by the poison as she should've, or not facing consequences for almost stabbing jacosta (maybe ppl just claimed she was being dramatic since... jacosta...), no real consequences for how much she broke down either, though i imagine the ending skipped over the time that may have taken place in. i do wonder if she explained the truth to the cops and forensic evidence of all the charred bones proved her right and they chilled out about her breakdowns.

wouldn't. that many bodies in the floors and walls perhaps cause a noticeable smell.

i feel like ellie's love interest was too accepting. i know he talked about their shared understanding of being outcasts and he seemed enamored by her. and i think it certainly was a choice to have a black man be the safe man, which is nice. but i can't help feeling a hashtag Feminist Film ended up neglecting racial issues by just... kinda using him for anything ellie's story needed at that time. i don't rly know anything about him, and maybe i don't need to, but it feels like a disservice or afterthought.

also something felt weird about the more unhinged screaming done by ellie and sandie. it felt over the top or too incoherent to me so it was distracting, but maybe it's just the way their accents go.

the sandie reveal as being the old woman was just... not serious enough? between the editing and the way she went about it all villainy just didn't feel it fit for me. maybe i misunderstood the vibes of the rest of the film but it felt out of place. i didn't mind the dream-like cgi of the stairs and glass etc though because i think the dreamy quality fits the... dream theme j;asdklfj

i did enjoy it and would like to rewatch knowing the twists sometime. but it just does feel like the second half suffered a lot in ways that unwound it from the first, but not in a way that... fits ellie's unwinging mental state if that makes sense j;lksdfkj.

i'm also rly glad i got to check it out, i don't get to go to movie theaters and stuff so when new films drop i froth over the trailers and read the wikipedias or youtube breakdowns of it and i had for this a bit (remembering very little by the time i did watch it.) i usually forget about the film bc im used to doing so without looking for it by the time it would end up on a streaming site or whatever. so it's just nice to finally check this out after loving the trailer.

#txt

[valaruakars]

Send Nudes 💌

Viktor x f!Reader || 2.2k || NSFW

As the titles says. You slip Viktor your nudes and let the chaos unfold. 

♥ One 👏 day 👏 project 👏 Might edit it on Saturday. Probs not tho.

warnings: voyeurism, masturbation, lil bit of blowjob, idk it’s really not that bad 

Viktor expects a morning much like every other in the lab, and in many ways, it is.

He arrives just before Jayce, with enough time to get the heat running, make coffee and peck at a muffin you’ve sent with him, settling nicely into the day. His partner enters with the usual ‘good morning,’ and today it’s a spirited greeting accented with an eager smile. Jayce immediately jumps into routine, gathering what he needs to set himself up for another day of progress.

As Viktor takes up residence at his desk, hefting his bag onto the as of yet uncluttered surface, Jayce approaches with an easy request.

“Oh hey, before you get started, can I borrow your notes on the resonance equation?”

“Of course,” he nods, rummaging through his bag without a second thought, “Let me— Ah, here.”

Jayce takes the tattered brown book into his hands, cracking it open as he turns on his heel to go. “Thanks, I’ll get it back to you—” He manages one step before he slams it shut and whirls around, shoving it back at Viktor with bizarre urgency, his voice strangled when he says, “Now. Right now.”

Bewildered, he looks down at the notebook now clutched to his chest, then back to his partner, who is red-faced to the tips of his ears. “Jayce, what—” he tries, but is cut off by the heavy clap of Jayce’s hand on his shoulder.

“Wow man, I’m… so happy for you. Just uh, forget I saw anything, okay?” he insists, pointedly avoiding eye contact, “I’ll work on something else today.”

At a total loss for how to respond, Viktor weakly echos “Okay…” to his hastily retreating back.

It takes only the span of two heartbeats before curiosity overtakes him and Viktor is scrambling to see what the hell could have shaken his friend so thoroughly, and oh.

Oh.

Stuck between the pages, rendered in black and white, is you. Several iterations of you, evidently, but the one on top, the one Jayce saw… His face burns. You, lips parted, chest bared, letting your sheer little robe slip down the arms cradling your naked breasts. The worst—maybe best?—part is this: your neck, proudly exposed, is absolutely ravaged with a dark mosaic of marks only he could have left there. It dawns on him, the way your hair is mused and your distant stare glassy, that you undoubtedly took this after he fucked you thoroughly and left.

You are an unsubtle thing, at times ruthless in your pursuit of his affections. And this is so unmistakably you, to turn your lust into something so temptingly beautiful, for if your body is fine art then he is a connoisseur.

And there’s more.

But Viktor quickly, carefully as not to damage them, shuffles your pictures into his vest pocket where they can rest heavy near his riotous heart. You are thoughtful. You are wicked.

It’s going to be a very long day.

And true to form, the hours until evening move at a glacial pace. Little work of the collaborative sort can be accomplished when his partner will hardly look in his direction. It leaves him to simmer on high somewhere between embarrassment that Jayce might think him an absolute pervert and jealously that the wrong man saw your brazen gifts first. Well, at least one of them.

At regular intervals, his fingers itch to pull them out and glance for the briefest moment at how else you’ve posed yourself for his viewing pleasure. But his mind tuts disapprovingly that things like this are meant to be savored and there is work to be done that doesn’t involve a frivolous boner.

Regardless, hardly anything gets done before the bulk of the day has passed at a snail’s pace.

He waits fifteen excruciating minutes past seven and then finally excuses himself to dinner like it’s simply an afterthought, but the tap of his cane blatantly announces his hurried, eager pace. Jayce waves over his shoulder and says nothing, hardly looks up from his writing, and thank the gods for it.

You’ve beaten him back to your apartment. Of course you have, since this was so clearly a trap. You’re not trying to hide it, smiling at him in the mirror like you’ve triumphed as you languidly brush out your hair. Wearing that slinky, nearly translucent slip and the very same robe from your picture, spilling off one shoulder suggestively.

“I was starting to think you didn’t quite get the message,” your reflection says without preamble, setting down the brush amongst your clutter of bottles and baubles.

“(Y/N),” he sighs, sliding his coat from his shoulders, “Will you never just… tell me what you want?”

“A little credit please, I can definitely be blunt. But there’s not much romance in that. Besides, if I had said this morning ‘please come home early and fuck me’ you would have forgotten by now.”

“Write me a note next time,” he quips all too carelessly.

“You’d prefer a note?” Your face blanches like you’ve been struck, curdling swiftly into anger as you pivot in your chair to look at him directly, “Seriously?”

“No, no—” he says, quick to amend the implication that he didn’t like what he saw, “That was, ah, very thoughtful. But do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“I think I do,” you simper, dragging your eyes shamelessly down to stare at the outline of his cock, “I’m sure it was awfully hard to get any work done today. Did you try thinking with the head on your shoulders, hm?” But you can’t ever take yourself too seriously, snickering at your own little joke.

“I did,” he says dryly, “That was not the issue.” The delicate arch of your brow is prompt enough. “We had collaborative work planned for today, but Jayce could hardly speak to me.”

“Why…?”

“I lent him my notebook.”

“That notebook?”

“Yes.”

“But you took the pictures out first, right?” He doesn’t respond neither immediately nor affirmatively, and your voice pitches up an octave. “Right?”

“How could I have, (Y/N)? I hadn’t seen them yet.”

“Oh. Oh, oops—” you snort, much less mortified than you ought to be, your shoulders shaking with quiet laughter, “Embarrassing, but at least I had the good sense to put the tamest one on top.”

“That was… tame?”

“Um, yes?” you scoff, canting your head curiously, “I think that’s pretty obvious. Unless… Did you not see all of them?”

“There was no good time to look,” he says softly, finally moving in closer to pet your pretty hair, “And I hoped you might show me instead.” His hand migrates to your shoulder, brushing down the thin strap of your slip as he presses his lips to your temple, whispering, “Why would I need pictures when I can have the real thing?”

When you are bold enough to touch his cheek, turning your head to catch his lips, he obliges you one long, thorough kiss. He seizes the opportunity to slide that paper-thin garment off your shoulders entirely, letting it gather around your waist. Exposed and at the mercy of his cold, calloused hands, you flinch beneath his frigid touch as he moves to cradle the softness of your breast. Whether from the chill or the sweet sensation, you shiver beneath him as his thumb brushes over your nipple; once, twice, until you finally make a lovely, breathy sound for him.

It’s quite flattering the way your body chases his lips when he pulls away, wanting more so involuntarily.

He offers you a hand as you rise to your feet, sending you off in the direction of the too empty bed. You have an awfully confused look on your rosy face, an adorable crinkle to your brow, when he drags the chair you’d been occupying to the end of the bed. How sad, that it pales and you look so stricken when he moves to sit, laying his cane on the floor.

“I—I didn’t think you meant… that.”

“Is this a problem?” he asks thickly, a trace of humor on his tongue. Moving to unfasten his pants, he baits you skillfully, “Are you suddenly shy, lyubov?”

“No,” you mutter, an indignant sound, slinking onto the bed with a huff. You seem mad, but fuck, he can’t help noticing the delicious sway of your breasts as you settle in on your knees. “It just feels like you’re punishing me.”

“I’m not punishing you,” he soothes, drawing out his cock and letting you watch, open-mouthed and entranced, that first stroke of his hand, “Is this not what you hoped for?”

“When I’m not around, sure,” you pout, torn between staring at his hand and his lust-blown eyes, “But I’m here and very willing to put my mouth on you.”

“No, thank you,” he hums, and regrets it slightly for the dry friction he has relegated himself to. A deeply obscene voice in his mind whispers to make you lean over and spit on his cock, but he’s lucid enough to believe that might cross a line into degrading when you already seem cagey. “I would prefer to see the content of your next picture now.”

“Asshole,” he hears you grumble beneath your breath, whispering for you to be nice, my darling in return.

He strokes himself languidly, letting his legs fall wider apart despite the faint protest in his hip. An appreciative little groan falls unbidden from his lips as you arrange yourself, revealing your salacious lack of panties. Your pose isn’t quite as lewd as expected; rather, it’s teasingly sensual as you curl onto your side, knees pulled toward your chest, toes pointed just so, to allow him a complete view of your perfect ass. The peek of your cunt, already wet and wanting, is only a bonus. He wonders distantly if you’re replicating the expression too, your teeth sunk into your lip, a curious stare cast over your shoulder. “That’s two of four,” you remind him helpfully, wiggling your strong thighs temptingly, “Let me know when you get tired of your hand.”

“Mmhm. Next, please,” he says dismissively, loosening his tie where it feels tight around his flushed neck.

You shift up onto your knees once again, pulling the slip entirely off your body. This. This is what he was anticipating. You spread your hips wide and sink into a deep spread, leaning back just slightly to show off your swollen lips and ruefully untouched clit. Your hands reach up to cradle the back of your head, tangling into your hair, and the stretch of your breasts is an exquisite sight. You hum a laugh as you bounce yourself for embellishment, evidently loosening up under his watchful eye. “Oh wow,” you snicker from above him, “You look close.”

“I do not,” he scoffs, but his body is beginning to tell him otherwise, if he listens.

“Consider that I’ve seen what your face looks like when you cum,” you whisper with the dulcet voice of a complete smart-ass. At least you don’t need to be told to take up the last position.

You do that of your own accord, turning onto your hands and knees. But it gets so much worse. You bow your body to the headboard, pressing your cheek down into the mattress, and spread your thighs before him so that, unimpeded, he can see everything. Your hand snakes between your legs, coming to grip the skin right where your thighs and soaking cunt meet, but going no further. Of course, it would ruin the view. But he’s well past that now.

The cord in him is drawn very, very tight. He’s always had an embarrassingly easy time getting off just thinking about you, never mind looking straight at the compromising bend of your body, how devastatingly wet you get for him.

“Come here,” he rasps, voice dangerously close to cracking.

“No, you come here,” you demand, finally dragging your fingers down the drenched expanse of your folds with a sigh.

“(Y/N), pozhaluysta—” he pleads, trying to impart upon you the gravity of the situation, “—I can’t.”

And whether that means he’s too close, literally can’t get up, or just can’t fuck you like that today, it doesn’t matter. You get it. You get it to the point that you scramble off the bed and practically throw yourself to the floor at his feet, hands gripping his thighs reassuringly as you search his face for instruction.

“Your mouth,” he hisses through gritted teeth, and there’s barely time before he’s spilling in thick rivulets across your tongue and down your throat. He is struck by the realization that you’re not just making pleased little sounds around his cock for the hell of it. No, you’ve got a hand cradled between your legs and you’re writhing on your knees against it, coming completely undone alongside him.

“Enough,” he breathes, coaxing your mouth off him. Your heavy head falls against his thigh as the last tremors of your orgasm wrack your body, and he pets your hair, soothes your cheek through it.

Your voice is small, your breathing still ragged when you whisper, “You’re going back, aren’t you?”

“I have to,” he sighs, tucking himself away, “But not yet. After dinner.”

“Oh,” you say, your voice a tight, hesitant thing, “So… am I dinner?”

“No, I was being literal,” he laughs, a soft, resonant sound, “But you’ve been good to me, lyubov. You could be dessert.”

#viktor #arcane #viktor x reader #viktor x f!reader #viktor arcane #arcane fanfiction #reader insert #my writing #40% perfect adderall brain #60% unfiltered idiot brain #100% unedited #and now you know why i don't try to write things in a day oops #nEVER AGAIN

[struggling-with-time]

Stressful streaming [Corpse  x reader]

Paring: Corpse husband x Female!reader

Summary: “What if y/n isnt a good gamer (they do something else on yt and never really got into it) so they just really suck at being the imposter? And everyone is trying to make them feel better but they feel super crappy about ruining the game for everyone- especially when they get paired up with corpse?” Requested by anon

“can I request something where y/n and corpse are dating, she is the group's baby and everytime she kills everyone's like 'yeah, that's cute bUT YOUR BOYFRIEND THO'.” Requested by anon

Warnings: Idk, this took a complete 180 midway through, and even idk what’s going on anymore. Fluff?  Comfort? Cuddles???

Words: 2k

A/N: Open for requests. And a two for one, you know me at this point.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The two of you had been living together for quite a while now. And you had been public about your relationship for a long time, had it been up to either of you, nobody still wouldn’t know. But it’s definitely better on both of your nerves not having to tiptoe around each other when you recorded, or he streamed.

You really enjoy books, so that’s what you naturally made the topic of your YouTube channel, book reviews. You had always recorded yourself reading and made it into a time-lapse after, it was when easier now that you didn’t have to worry if Corpse said anything and you looked up to answer him. You weren’t really into gaming so it surprised you a lot when Corpse had sat you down yesterday and asked if you wanted join them in the game today. The other had been bugging him to get you on call for longer than just saying a quick hi and then leaving him again. You weren’t much of a people person, honestly neither of you were. But Corpse was still better at interacting with others. Both of your setups was already in the studio, due to you liking edit your videos when he streamed, so you could still be together. Despite you mostly reading whenever he streamed, because then there wasn’t a chance he accidentally got caught on your camera.

Your routines worked for each other, but this was new territory for you. Both being live and gaming. You were nervous. To put it out there you were straight up shaking of nerves. Sure you wouldn’t be live yourself, and it was just among us, you had seem him play it a million times, but it still scared you what if you said something stupid, or did something stupid. Then you wouldn’t be able to cut it out, everyone would know in an instant.

Corpse greet his stream, as you load up your game, you’re fiddling with the hem of his sweater, makes him feel like he’s closer than the short distance that’s between you, because right now he seemed like an ocean away.

He shows you how to join the call and you accidentally squeak in chock as someone yells into their microphone. You can feel Corpse moving beside you, as he tries his best not to laugh at you.

“Shut up.” You mumble, and lightly shoves his shoulder.

“Me?” A guy with an irish accent asks.

“No! Not you, I’m so sorry that wasn’t to you- Corpse stop laughing at me!” You cut your own sentence off. As he now is completely failing at keeping himself from laughing, inviting everyone and their mom to listen to his beautiful laugh. You sulk for a bit, before he composes himself.

“But you’re just so damn cute.” He pets the top of your head, and walks back to his own setup, where chat is going rocket speed. He tries to read a couple in passing, but he turns his attention back to you when you whine.

“I’m not a child!” you pout at him and sticks out your tongue. A smile right on your lips as he copies you. You just love this man with all of your heart.

“Never said you were.” He teases back, before he starts to greet the people in the call. You realise most of your nerves have disappeared, no longer shaking, you’re getting a bit excited to do this. You listen closely when corpse says the name of each of the people in the call. You only knew the names before joining, but not what voice that belonged to whom.

When you’re finally in the game, Corpse suggests you put on the white skin and a flower. Your reply?

You lean close to the microphone and goes. “No.” And picks the yellow skin with the plant hat, declaring you’re now a citrus fruit.

“Corpse, how in the world did you catch someone like her?” you think her name was Rae asked.

“I didn’t she caught me.” He admits, happily. “Still having trouble believing she chose me.”

Earning an awe from the rest of the call. Two lovebirds.

“Simp!” someone yells in the call, you’re not really sure who, in the sea of mixed noises. Earning a laugh from you.

Crewmate flash across your screen, and you didn’t totally mean to peak, but you saw the red flash from his pc. As the game starts up and your character isn’t moving you realise you don’t know what you’re doing. Corpse realises too when his character starts to circle yours and nothing happens.

“Babe you good there?” He looks over at you, as you’re pressing each key on your keyboard testing out what happens. He chuckles at the sight. “let me help you.” He gets up, and leans over you, as he shows you how to move. His own character standing still, as he helps you around the map and shows you how to do the tasks. You happily let him guide your hands, enjoying the warmth he radiates as he stands near you.

That’s when a warning flash over the screen. Emergency meeting. You think it said. A screen with a portrait of all of your characters comes up.

“Corpse you good there, you haven’t moved all game?” Felix asks.

“Oh, sorry, I was helping Y/N with how to play.” Corpse answers over your mic.

“Hey guys, how do I make my name red like Corpses?” you innocently ask, with a gleam in your eyes as you look up at Corpse knowing damn well why his name is red. He’s the bad guy.

Corpse furrows his eyebrows at you. Glaring at you, as the rest of the call is laughing, it doesn’t take long before his astronaut is floating across the screen ejected into outer space. He leans close to you, making sure to mute your microphone first.

“You sure you want to play like this kitten?” He whispers to you, you respond by smacking his shoulder, and once again telling him to shut up.

Corpse helps you through the rest of the game. He makes sure you’re good before walking back to his own chair and greets his chat, finally paying attention back to them. Another game starts and the two of you  are imposters together. Corpse quickly goes over the rules of impostors, and it doesn’t take long before you have made your first kill, not noticing Sean was in Nav together with Rae.  But before he’s able to report it,Corpse comes to your rescue by venting into the room and killing Sean. The relief is short lived as  Felix comes running into Nav and see the two of you standing over Seans body, quickly reporting.

“Y/N you’re doing good, but you need to press the report button when it comes visible.” Felix starts out. “Also, it’s Corpse, there was a body in Nav, Sean. Wait Rae and Mark is dead too.” You smile to yourself as you realise he didn’t discover Raes body in there too, you feel a bit of pride.

Corpse looks over to you grinning at him. “We walked in together I was showing her where the report button is and how to use it.” Corpse defends himself. “She never found a body in the last game.”

“That’s true.” You choose to ignore he fact you’re lying to these strangers, and tell yourself that you’re technically speaking the truth. You never found a body in the last game.

“I’m sus of you Corpse, but we have no other evidence.” Felix says,

“And we shouldn’t vote on 7.” Toast comments. Everyone votes skip, and the two of you live to see another round.

The next kill is by Corpse, and you immediately report it, stating you found it in… what was that room now called?

“We found it in… that room?” You try and look over at Corpse for help.

“Electrical, headed there for wires.” Corpse quickly takes over to cover for you. Knowing full well the rest very much knows it’s the two of you.

“I think it’s a self-report, Y/N you’re trying out some big brain strats, but I saw you vent from med bay.” Toast tells the rest. You curse underneath your breath; you are starting to catch on the rest are trying to be nice. But you get it, you’re ruining the game for them, especially Corpse. A few seconds passes as everyone votes and your astronaut is sent into the vacuum of space. You sigh.  You watch as Corpse, gets one kill before it gets reported.

“What was everyone’s last task?” Grease asks the group. He gets an array of answers, but all to him seems nowhere near the body.

“I’m still sus of you Corpse.” Felix says, “You either failed card swipe twice, or forgot you already faked it.”

“How could it have been me? I was with you the entire time.” Corpse responds.

“That’s not true, when lights went out I couldn’t find you, and we just split up before I found the body now.” Felix tells the other incriminating Corpse. It doesn’t take long before he gets voted off. He looks a bit annoyed at the outcome. Knowing it was a risky kill. But instead in your mind you take it as he’s annoyed you were his partner. You reach out for his hand, and he takes it, you stroke it a few times and he seems to calm down again.

“It’s been fun you guys, but I’m not really good at this, I think I’m going to get back to do some reading. It was fun though.” You announce to the rest, Corpse watching in confusion over the sudden need to leave. The others bid their goodbyes. You get off the discord call. And closes up the game and shuts off your pc.

“Hey chat, I’ll be right back, I’m taking a quick break before we continue.” Corpse mutes his setup and walks over to you. While doing that you’ve frustratedly put your head in your hands, and is onboard the blame train for ruining the game for the others. Corpse wraps his arms around you and brings you right back to reality and where you belong, in his embrace.

“Babe, are you okay? Do you need me to stop the stream?” He carefully asks.

“I’m sorry I ruined your game. I really tried my best, I promise.” You sigh, looking at him, and leaning into his hug and the warmth.

“You didn’t ruin anything, Y/N. You made it better, I had a fun time with you, even if we weren’t the best pair.” Corpse starts peppering you in kisses alround your face until you start giggling.

“There is my beautiful Y/N.” He smiles at you, he knows he’s so whipped, and he wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world when he sees that smile of yours.

“Thank you.” You mumble as you put your neck into his neck, cuddling up against him. “Can I stay for the rest of your stream?” He doesn’t need to answer, he just sits back down in his own chair, and you automatically and easily, swing a leg over him. You cuddle into his chest and listens as he starts talking to his chat again.

“Y/N says thanks for everything, but this is really out of her comfort zone, and I’m proud of her for having done it.” He praises you to the rest of the world. He looks down at you smiling. He mute his mic as he whisper to you. “You’re still my favourite impostor, kitten.” You giggle, and he turns his attention back to the game. Getting ready to be a crewmate.

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband fanfic #corpse fanfic #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanfiction #delias own writing

[pastelsandpining]

Zelink Week Day 4: Trust

broken | forged

Masterlist | Zelink Week List

words: 1086

summary: The Hero and the Princess catch up after Ganon’s defeat and Midna’s departure.

what’s characterization bc friend idk. country link superiority

Twilight Princess - post-game

@zelinkweek2021

-------------------------------------------------

Princess Zelda became very grateful that the grand garden was one of the least guarded places in the castle. Being in the courtyard, it was visible from all balcony posts, yet there were areas, however small, where the hedges towered just tall enough to shield them from view.

But for good measure, they were also seated on a bench. She knew the men stationed everywhere in the castle were only doing their jobs, but there were times she craved privacy that wasn’t provided solely by her bedroom or office. Just once, she would like to walk the grounds of the castle without eyes locked on and following her. Her council and the people of Hyrule surely would have plenty to say if they could see her right now, using her plans for restoration as an excuse to see and spend time with their dearest Hero of Twilight.

Their perfect princess, who sat far too close to him with a gloved hand pressed over her mouth to hide her laughter, acting so irresponsibly was unheard of.

“—she promised me that it was all I had to do, that it was some sorta twilight barrier, but that wall didn’t budge. I guess I should’a expected something was up. I felt real stupid afterwards, too. She got a good laugh out of it, and I got a bump that lasted ‘bout a week. I still have the headache.”

Zelda lowered her hand when her giggles subsided.

“I’m rather surprised Midna hadn’t tried worse. But I suppose she thought it best to keep our Hero in one piece,” she said, raising her fingers to brush his bangs aside. “No mark remains now.”

“She got me to do all sorts of ridiculous stuff for her own entertainment. Every time I thought I’d caught on..”

“Even princesses need to have a little fun. It’s just a shame it had to be at your expense.”

She felt so warm and comfortable next to Link, sitting under the rays of the sun. They’d come so far in so few months, and speaking so openly about Midna was therapeutic—healing, in a way. She’d taken a part of both of them when she left. It had been a sore topic for a while, but now here they sat, exchanging stories under a beautiful blue sky.

“Did she ever do any of that to you, or was I just special?” he asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

“You are special for numerous reasons,” she replied and folded her hands on her lap. “But you were not the sole victim of Midna's tricks. We shared the feeling of imprisonment, and eventually, we grew close enough for her to make me a target too. Though her best by far was when she told me she’d found the Hero, and brought me a wolf.”

Link’s pout was enough to make her suppress another laugh, though the ends of her mouth were pulled up into a smile.

“That ain’t fair,” he said, crossing his arms. “And that was just in the twilight.”

“Perhaps, but I like to imagine the look on Ganondorf’s face if you had shown up as the Twilight Beast.”

“He wouldn’t have been phased. Bastard probably kicked puppies for fun.”

Zelda pressed a hand to her chest and looked at Link with wide eyes.

“No one could be that cruel,” she joked, leaning away from him.

“Darlin’, yes he could. And I didn’t hit him hard enough.”

She had to fight back a smile. Every time he called her “darling” in his little accent, she felt so light and fuzzy. But she figured it was an expression everyone in Ordon used, so she never thought too hard about it.

“Well, if he somehow ever shows himself again, you can have a rematch. Although this time, I’d enjoy sticking my heels into his eyes.”

“I, for one, would love to see that,” Link replied, offering her a smile. And then his hand was gently holding her arm, his blue eyes fixated on her. “And how are you doin’, Princess? It’s only fair we check up on you too.”

“I’m doing just fine, thank you,” she answered with a small smile in return. Link’s eyebrow quirked up.

“And is that the truth?”

Zelda ducked her head to hide the widening of her smile. How could she not, when things were looking up? When she felt cared about in a way far more intimate than the respect her people held for her? She placed a hand on top of his and patted it twice.

“I’m managing about as well as everyone else,” she admitted with a light shrug. “But you needn’t worry about me, dear Hero.”

“Someone ought’ta,” he argued, giving her a look that said he didn’t quite believe her words.

“I appreciate it, truly. I just don’t wish to cause any trouble,” she told him.

“It’s no trouble at all, darlin’.” He seemed to realize what he’d said and lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. “Sorry, maybe I should stop sayin’ that.”

“I don’t mind,” Zelda assured him with a small smile. “In all honesty, I missed this. The casualty of friendship, I mean.”

And the interactions she could have with someone she truly enjoyed being around. She hadn’t had that until she met Midna, and Midna was gone. Link offered her a smile. There was a gleam in his eyes that she had to look away from.

“Can I trust you with somethin’?” he asked, leaning a little closer.

“Of course,” she assured, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Anything.”

“I’m runnin’ from somethin’. I dunno what it is. Being lonely, maybe? Everyone back in Ordon--they see me different. It’s like they don’t even know me, and that’s... I like it here, where I get to... restart, almost, and I wanna thank you for that opportunity.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Link,” Zelda replied and gave his hand another squeeze. “You’ve done so much for Hyrule and the least you deserve is peace and a friend. I’m flattered you trust me enough to confide this in me.”

“I think you make for a pretty good friend.”

Link was smiling at her, soft and relieved like he’d gotten something off of his chest. She ducked her head and leaned backwards with a smile of her own, because if she looked at him any longer, she might’ve doomed herself to embarrassment by leaning in.

No need to ruin the blooming trust between them.

#zelink week 2021 #zelink #twilight princess #tp zelink #twilight princess zelink #post-game #didn't proofread this one #the last of the drabbles #the rest of the week is art

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am- 

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I-  i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black. 

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺

#ninjago #jay walker #zane julien #skybound #ninjago fic #not the best thing i've written #actually it's not great- #but i spent too long on it to not post it so if you actually read to here i simunltaneously wanna send you good vibes & apologize profusely- #the ending is super rushed but im too tired to try and write a better one yay:/ #also dang it- sorry this fits the prompt so badly i- #i didn't realize till after oops #ninbingo #ninjago jay #ninjago zane #ninjago masters of spinjitzu

[radiorenjun]

my first and last || huang renjun

¤ pairing : huang renjun x reader

¤ genre : fluff, slight crack, major angst, romance, drama, slight fantasy! au, slight coming of age!au, first love!au, slight 1880s!au, adventure!au, painter!renjun x street singer!y/n. runaway!au

¤ synopsis :  Huang Renjun was born on the coldest day on earth, which causes his heart to be frozen solid, requiring a replacement. The makeshift Doctor, Madam Wendy, who provides midwifery and medical services to the poor and the desperate of Edinburgh, grafts a miniature cuckoo clock in order to save it.

However his newfound cuckoo clock heart was so fragile that it could end him in a terrible fate of death if he does not follow the three rules said doctor had provided for him. One of which was he must never fall in love. Do come and enter this adventure through Renjun’s eyes as he falls for a street singer who hates wearing glasses despite of her poor eyesight.

¤ warnings: character death, HEAVY angst, mentions of blood, loss of family member, reader has terrible eyesight and is painfully oblivious, Madam Wendy mentions about her abortion, maybe some swearing (do people even swear in the olden days?), historical inaccuracies is sexy, heartbreak, renjun is mentally exhausted, mentions of taking ones life (once), adults smoking, reader wears glasses at the end. shakespeare shaming because i have a grudge against that man. hISTORICAL INNACURACIES. Renjun gets slapped by Wendy once, renjun gets hypothermia. i feel like this was quite rushed idk

¤ word count : 29.2k

¤ heavily inspired by  La Mécanique du cœur (the movie, not the novel because I’m not that cruel)

¤ playlist: my everything - nct u, instagram - dean, wayo - bang yedam, francis forever - mitski mitski, anxiete - pomme, faded in my last song - nct u, line without a hook - ricky montgomery, moi cest - camelia jordana, my first and last - nct dream, beautiful time - nct dream, 

¤ a/n: special thanks to @lebrookestore​​ for making this sexy header

‘Love. What does that feel like?' Renjun would always wonder. 

As his paint brush strokes the canvas, eliciting a bright yellow mark on the object, Renjun continued to stare into his painting with a void of emotion. Whenever the occasional question 'what does it feel like to love or to be loved?' pops up in his mind, he would often furrow his brows and purse his lips in a small pout in confusion at the thought. 

Renjun didn't know what it felt like to love, for his caretaker, Madame Wendy, had always told him since he was a young boy that 'love is the last thing you need in this world, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal.' Renjun didn’t care much for the aspects of love. How can he fall in love when he doesn’t even know what love is? What does it feel like to feel love? How can you feel love?

If you take one small glance at Huang Renjun, you would instantly have the assumption that he was a rather cold-hearted, emotionless young boy. Eyes so icy cold and void of emotion, it could send shivers down your spine. Though, fortunately for everyone else, it was quite rare of the young boy to walk out of his home. Some might say that he would step out of his home ‘once in a blue moon’ or whenever the sun shone brightly over the old town, which was quite rare considering it had been raining frequently these past few months in Edinburgh, France.

However, what they didn’t know was that the reason behind his infrequent appearance was quite tragic. He was an unfortunate young boy, really. Only a few people have known this, but long long ago, a sudden harsh snowfall hit his town on the day he was born. It was recorded as the coldest day on earth, for the snow had frozen everything in its path including the poor boy’s heart. Quite literally, not figuratively. 

Renjun’s biological mother had journeyed through the cold town to the house up the steeple. Rumors say, the quote unquote ‘witch’ of the town, who specialized in the medical department with her own unique ways that left doctors skeptical and poor. From what his caretaker had told him, she was holding her belly throughout the long journey as she tried her best to endure the cold without slipping on the frozen concrete. Muttering how if she could, she would’ve kept her child in her tummy safe and sound from the cruel world. 

How she slipped and fell unconscious in front of his current caretaker’s house with her tears frozen on top of her cold cheeks, how she was brought in and taken in just in time to warm up to gain consciousness and go through the birth process. He remembered being told how the moment he was born, he had to undergo intense surgery immediately for he almost didn’t survive. He remembered being told that his heart had turned cold. 

“Cold, not Gold, Renjun. A heart made of ice. As in cubes not cream,” as his caretaker would say. 

Since donors weren't available at the time as it was already way past midnight, he needed surgery before his heart stopped beating under the hard exterior of the ice growing around his heart. Luckily for him, Madame Wendy had improvised one with her excellent expertise. She built a small clock the size of her palm that nearly covered his whole chest at the time. Considering she was known for being a witch in town, (even though she tried to explain a countless amount of times that she was a mere mechanic with a medical degree) she miraculously provided him with a fragile heart made from scratch. 

However, the night of his birth was also the night his mother had decided to leave him with Madame Wendy, convinced that she would make a better mother for Renjun that she could ever have. It was quite a tragic tale. However, Renjun didn’t think much of it. Nor did he feel any sort of upsetting emotions like longing, curiosity and sadness. Why would he? He doesn’t even remember what his biological mother had looked like. He doesn’t know how to feel anymore other than the faux happiness his mother had taught him how to feel to ease the numbing feeling in his hollow, ticking heart held nothing but dust. 

A heart that was purely made out of strong wood, cogs and screws. One that makes soft, calming tick tocks that goes along with the soft pitter patters of rain drops with every beat, one that makes cuckoo’s every time it’s arrow struck 12. One that needs winding every single day with a golden key his caretaker had provided him ever since he was born. One with ironically three rules that he should always follow on a day to day basis. 

-

“Recite those rules once again, Renjun,” she ordered as she buttons up her adoptive child’s white shirt up to his neck. “Do I have to? I’ve been reciting this for years now,” Renjun would whine, looking down at his mother’s loving hands as she flicked her forehead softly with a face void of emotion. “It’s for your own good, Renjun. I can’t have you forgetting something this important, you know very well that your life depends on these three rules.” She tugged on the collar of her child’s shirt down. 

“Before I let you run off to town with me, I prefer that your heart would be much stronger,” she swiped her fingers through Renjun’s hair, swefting it to the side to make it neat. “Every beat of your heart is a minor miracle. You’re a fragile piece of work, far more fragile than glass,” the older woman explained, laying her hands on the boy’s shoulder with a grim expression. “I know,” Renjun replied with a sigh, shrugging his shoulders to release tension in his body. 

He sighed again, the young boy looked up at the ceiling to avoid his mother’s cold stare. “Firstly, never touch the hands of my heart,” he began, letting out an annoyed sigh as he felt his mother tucking his small key into the pocket sewed on his chest. “Yes, what else?” Madame Wendy asked, kneeling down to look at the child in the eye. “Keep your temper under control,” they recited in unison with the same emotionless tone. 

“And the last one?” 

“Whatever I do, I must never ever fall in love.” 

“Indeed, that’s why I’m so scared of letting you into town. You haven’t experienced love yet so far in your life, it is very important that you stay that way,” she said, standing up on her feet as her hand returned to Renjun’s shoulder. “I know,” he mumbled once again, looking up at his caretaker’s eyes as if to hide the fact that he wasn’t listening a total hundred percent to what she was saying. “It could be the very death of you, Renjun. Your fragile heart won’t be able to stand the emotional, mental and physical shock provoked with the feeling of love,” she explained once again, a worried expression glossing over her face.

“I know, I know. You tell me that almost everyday,” he muttered, playing with the small buttons on the clock that is his own heart. “My heart is not a toy, therefore it is not to be played with.” he almost rolled his eyes at the older woman, feeling her smack his hand away from his heart softly. “It is something that I want you to take seriously, Renjun,” she hissed, eyeing the small mechanic artwork on the boy’s chest. “How can I even fall in love when I don’t know anything about love?” 

-

To Renjun, today was like any other day of the year. The sun shining brightly against his skin, the cloudy grey sky accenting the sky’s beauty. His hair gelled to the side to reveal some of his forehead and leaving a few strands of his hair to tickle his skin perfectly, his calloused hand gripping his 60 x 90 cm canvas and his large box of acrylic paints to his side, his favorite paintbrush hanging against the skin in between his ear and his fluffy short hair. 

Spinning one of his smaller paint brushes in his free hand, right between his fingers as he walked down the sidewalk of his home town, trying to find a spot to sit and paint. It was his birthday recently, so his mother had delightfully just bought a fresh new set of acrylic paints, considering he finished them on his last painting which was the majestic dove fountain in the middle of the town less than a month ago. 

Renjun was only ten years old when his caretaker took him out to wander around town, which was on his birthday. It was then when Renjun was hitting the age of thirteen when his caretaker’s worry lessened when she saw that her child was nowhere to the point of Cupid’s next target. Therefore those annual town visits turned into monthly visits (under his caretaker’s supervision, of course) and when Renjun had turned thirteen years old, he had shown an interest in painting and drawing in his free time while Madame Wendy was working with a patient.

However, love can strike at any moment. And by the time Renjun became sixteen years old, he was finally allowed to venture into the town himself to paint landscapes and buy more art supplies at least once a week with a 5-6 PM curfew. Nothing more, nothing less. Cupid was cunning, therefore she believed that this was the best she could do. Considering he was a teenager, she couldn’t protect him as easily as she could back when he was still an infant. And that was what she had feared the most in her life. 

Renjun sighed heavily, looking around with emotionless eyes, a cold frown forming upon his lips as he leaned his chin on his palm, his elbow supporting on his thigh and his other free hand holding the canvas on top of his legs. He wondered if there was more to life than work and oil paints, eyes wandering on the busy streets filled with the latest carriages and the latest transportation vehicles. He felt as if his life had gone by boring and aimless without knowing how to express his emotions properly. Is this what life has come to in his 16 years of living? 

16 years of being almost completely isolated from this town without knowing what his caretaker was so worried about. Madam Wendy had absolutely nothing to be worried about. Renjun had witnessed love from time to time in the streets, watching a couple of different genders walking down the streets with loving expressions on their faces. Renjun could not decipher why you would be feeling such emotions. He had been venturing around town freely with his strict curfews for almost four months now. And all he’s done so far is wander around looking for something interesting to be his next muse or visit the local library to read books. 

One of the books Renjun was absolutely fascinated on reading was this book the librarian had recommended to him on his first visit, ‘The Great Expectations’ by Charles Dickens. It was a small story of a young boy named Pip who went through amazing life changing experiences and going through hardships with his rather abusive sister, his blacksmith mentor and falling in love as well with a girl named Estella. (He would always snicker whenever she comes up in a scene as her adoptive parent, Ms Havisham, ironically reminded him too much of Madam Wendy) 

He often wondered if Madam Wendy’s strong dislike towards the aspects of love was merely because of his fragile condition or was it because of something deeper? However, looking back at when he found his caretaker’s family albums which were mainly pictures of her winning awards and bragging about her medical degree, he highly doubts it. (It was still fun to imagine theories while it lasted, though!)

“Ms Havisham stares at Pip coldly, and murmurs to the girl at her side: ‘Break his heart, Estella. Break his heart!’” Renjun read, his eyes moving as he read the brief summary at the back of his book. Looking down at the cuckoo clock heart hidden under his cardigan, he clicked his tongue before chuckling bitterly to himself. “‘Break his heart’, huh? What utter bonkers, you can’t break someone’s heart. That isn’t physically possible,” he shook his head in amusement, placing his book on top of the box of acrylic paints beside him.

Just as he was about to leave and head back home, a peculiar merry tune reached his ears, causing Renjun to pause in his step, looking around to find the source with furrowed brows. If this was like those small street cat sketches he would draw in his free time, it would seem like his ears perked up in slight interest. The merry tune turned on a bright spark inside of the young boy’s chest, curiosity growing in his veins at the tune he has never heard before. It was as if the angels above had descended to the earth while playing a symphony of flutes and harmonicas, making soft high pitched catchy tunes in the air. 

Renjun felt entranced by the music, it was almost as if it was pulling him- beckoning him to come towards it, towards its source. It was as if his feet had a mind of his own as he fought with his own rational thoughts to either go back home or find the source of the beautiful merry tune. He couldn't help but walk to where it's coming from, curious of who was making such a wonderful tune. Sooner than later, he found himself walking down a small alley that led him into a steep staircase that led him to another part of his town. And with every step he took, the music grew louder and louder. Soon, finding light at the end to see the small part of town he rarely visits.

He put his palm on the dirty brick wall, ignoring the uncomfortable texture against his skin, head poking out as he tried to decipher where the majestic music was coming from. Squinting his eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight for the staircase was dim enough to be mistaken for a tunnel with the broken rooftops covering the ceiling, he took a step forward. His eyes widening slightly in awe as he watched a young man his age push away a stack of crates to reveal the true source of music. 

A young girl, who Renjun figures is around his age, was cranking up a barrel organ right in front of the fountain. A hand going in circular motions on the crank, twisting the lever as she pulls it clockwise. The hand on her hip was soon placed on her chest when the music went on, clearing her throat softly as she began to sing along and harmonize with the melody. 

Renjun stood still in his place, baffled at the daunting beauty presented before him. The girl standing a few meters away from him was singing along merrily to the tune of the phonograph record, cranking up the lever as the other townsfolk that was walking by began to gather around her, enjoying the harmony that goes along with her soothing voice and symphony of flutes and harmonicas being produced by the portable barrel organ. 

As he sat down on the last step of the staircase to listen from afar, he couldn't help but pay close attention to the lyrics coming out of her lips. His paintbrush spinning in between his fingers as his mind focused on the words of the intro, smiling idly as he began to understand the words she was trying to convey. 

My vision's not quite right

But glasses make me look a sight

Enough to give the world a fright, like a sprite wearing specs

Renjun couldn't help but tilt his head in confusion. 'A sprite wearing specs? What the hell was that supposed to mean?' he pondered to himself as he found himself sitting at the last step of the staircase, leaning his white canvas against the dusty brick walls before putting his palm against his cheek, his elbow supported right above his knees as he gazed in awe at the little singer. 

His pupils never moved away from the young girl who began to twirl around with her hands on her hips. And that girl was you. He watched as you danced and sang as if you were in your own little world, almost clumsily bumping into an old man carrying two heavy wooden crates in his arms. He chuckled at the sight, a soft smile stretching across his face as he watched the girl apologize for almost bumping into him, making Renjun realise that she might have some sort of blurred vision with how she was squinting at the older man. 

‘Or she might just be an idiot,’ Renjun thought with a deadpan expression, laying his chin on his hand as he let out a soft sigh. Renjun had been living in this town all his life, despite the fact that he rarely goes out of his own home. He’s sure that no one in this town would blast such a merry tune so shamelessly in public while dancing and singing around like a fool expressing themselves. And it was quite rare for someone to walk around with a barrel organ out of nowhere.

The music stopped midway when you let out a small yelp and clumsily tripped over your own feet as you turned to your barrel organ when the lever stopped turning, eliciting a soft giggle from Renjun. You let out a soft grunt, huffing as you ignored the slightly concerned looks of your audience. You stood up quickly, hands coming up to brush off the dust and debris off your skirt, tugging on your suspenders as you attempted to ignore the embarrassed red tint on your own cheeks as you tried to play it off as cool. 

Renjun couldn't help but giggle at the sight, his cold emotionless expression morphing into one filled with the slightest bit of amusement. Though, it quite took Renjun aback when he saw you turn your head from your barrel organ to his figure sitting a few meters away from where you were standing, turning your head rapidly to find the source, raising a brow when your eyes met Renjun's. He stopped laughing when your eyes met briefly, eyes widening in shock as he began to fidget in his place as you began to waddle over to him, dragging your barrel organ with you. 

Wait, were you going over to talk to him? How did you even acknowledge his existence? Did you hear him snicker at your silly antics? Even if you did, how could you even hear him with how busy your surroundings were?

You stood before him with hands on your hips, lips pursed at him. "What were you laughing at?" you asked, a slight pout adorning on your lips as you looked down at the boy who raised his brow. Renjun felt his words pile up in his throat, trying to think of something to say without offending or upsetting the girl before him, as his Seulgi and Irene (his caretaker’s weekly patients) had always told him that ‘once you anger a feisty lady, there’s no turning back!’. 

Now that you were standing only a few inches away from him, he couldn’t help but take a small moment to observe your appearance more clearly. Renjun's eyes couldn't help but wander towards your figure, examining your facial features in full detail. The way the sunlight reflected upon your pupils, how your figure stood out that he could barely decipher that other people were present around them. The way your dress framed your body, lips pursed with a slight pout, eyelids fluttering softly as you blinked at him as you were waiting for a response. Renjun wondered how someone could look this entrancing.

"Hello? Are you listening to me?!"

Renjun blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. His mouth opening as his pupils went back up to catch the intense glare that the girl in front of him was sending. He closed his mouth when he realized he didn't know what to say in response, his mind turning blank when he saw you quirked one of your eyebrows up suspiciously. "I don't- How can you even hear me laugh from such a distance?" Renjun's voice faltered nervously, trying to avoid your question, furrowing his brows.

Your expression lightened slightly at the nervous boy, a bright smile of your own stretching across her face. "Out of all of my five senses, my hearing has always been the best considering I don't rely much on my eyes," you shrugged, sitting beside him on the last step of the stairs. Stretching your legs out as you used your palms to smoothen your dress before crossing your arms on your thighs and turning your head to look at the boy. "I saw you staring at me from a distance, was I that good?" you smirked, raising a brow. 

“You saw me? I thought you said you can’t rely on your eyes that much?” he asked in a weak attempt to dodge your question once again. “I lied, some lady told me that you were staring at me even after this old thing gave up on me,” you huffed, kicking your foot lightly at the old barrel organ in front of you. “Stop dodging my question. I don’t want to assume that you were stalking me or something,” you turned your head back to the boy, pointing an accusatory finger at him, wiggling the finger in front of his face teasingly.

Renjun bit the inside of his cheek, a scowl forming on his lips as he rolled his eyes. "Don't get too cocky, I was just perplexed. I was baffled to see someone playing such a merry tune so shamelessly in this lousy, depressing town," he responded with a click of his tongue. "How so?" you asked, tilting your head in confusion at the boy before looking around at your surroundings. “This town doesn’t look that depressing to me. Just needed some lighting up, that’s all,” your positivity elicited another scoff from the boy.

Renjun turned to you, brows furrowed slightly, confused as to how you couldn’t see how this town was the literal epitome of the Great Depression itself. "You're not from here, are you? Come to think of it, I've never seen you around here before." Renjun asked with a curious expression, watching as a cheeky grin formed across your face. "You got me there." You let out a soft chuckle, shrugging shamelessly before gazing up at the cloudy grey sky. 

"My parents and I just moved in today. They told me to run off and go dilly dally-ing around town so as to not bother them as they set up the whole place,” you explained, nodding towards your barrel organ. “I think I made a great first impression as the new lady in town, don’t you think?” you asked, giving him a sweet smile, ignoring how Renjun gave you an affirming shake of his head to say ‘no’ bluntly. “Well I definitely knocked your socks off, didn’t I? That’s enough for me!” you exclaimed brightly, clasping your hands together. 

“You don’t even know me. I don’t even know you. And how would you know if I was moved by your oh-so-stupendous actions?” Renjun rolled his eyes sarcastically, gripping his canvas tightly as he spoke, looking down at his shoes. He had never spoken to someone his age before without being forced by his caretaker or having to meet them for the first time at Madam Wendy’s home. It was quite new for him to be talking to a lady as well, for most of them were too shy to even talk to the young lad for his cold glare struck shivers down their spine.

“The sound of your laugh was enough to convince me that my actions were indeed stupendous, good sir!” you shot back confidently, a proud smile on your face as you placed your hands on your knees. “Oh bother,” he muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes once again at you, ignoring how the confusion he felt when the cogs and gears of his heart were speeding up in action. “I’m Y/n, by the way! It’s good to know I made a friend on my first day in Edinburgh. Perhaps my mini shameless performance wasn’t entirely fruitless!” you reached your hand out, gesturing for him to shake it.

Renjun looked at your hand for a brief moment, pupils gazing back up at your happy expression, raising a brow at you before sighing heavily. He pulled his hand from his canvas before leaning over to shake your hand gently, “Renjun. Huang Renjun,” he introduced, his tone emotionless. Your hand was warm and soft unlike his own dry ones. Your hand had small specks of dust, which he assumed were from the dusty lever of the barrel organ while his own was covered with dry acrylic paint from his previously wet canvas.

Upon the warm feeling surging through his body at the touch, he felt the tiny mechanical bird inside of his cuckoo clock heart burst out from his clock in response when his skin touched yours, the sharp wooden beak hitting the fabric of his jacket alarmingly. Thus making a small, almost inaudible ‘cuckoo’ that only Renjun (fortunately) heard.

"It’s lovely to be your acquaintance, Huang Renjun. Though, I must warn you, I might not be here for long. My family has been travelling from town to town for years, searching for something.” You told him, pulling your hand back to your side with a small shrug. “Searching? Searching for what exactly?” Renjun asked, watching your expression turned unreadable. You shrugged, leaning your cheek against your palm, your elbow supporting on your leg. “That’s the thing! I’m not quite sure, they won’t tell me.”

“A treasure chest, perhaps?” Renjun suggested, putting a hand on his chin in thought. “Perhaps so. Though, I’m searching for something myself, as well.  I haven't found it yet and I doubt I'm going to find it here." you sighed simply, leaning your head up to gaze at the cloudy sky. Eyes watching as the sun was barely visible due to the thick grey clouds layering over it, signalling that it might rain soon. 

"Well, what are you searching for exactly? Treasure? Money? Wealth is considered as a greedy sin in this town, so I don't think this is some place where you can find those." Renjun hummed, his hand going back to gripping his canvas as he felt the cogs and gears in his heart working faster than usual. Hell, he didn't know why he was so curious about this. This was none of his business, after all. This was your problem, why was he so keen on keeping the conversation going? Why was he so intrigued in a young foreign singer his age he’s just met?

You shook your head, sucking your lips into your mouth before pulling your bottom lip out in a pout. "I’m not a fool, Renjun. I'm not really interested in wealth or fortune. Though, telling you about my life goal appears to be too intimate for us, don’t you think? We just met after all. So all that I can say at the moment that what I’m searching for is for me to know and for you to find out," you send him a teasing smile, causing Renjun to frown and roll his eyes in annoyance, leaning back slightly before sending you a deadpan expression, 

"Does your extravagant search involve spectacles? You might look like you might need them, I know someone that could handle that," he mused, his lips quirking up into a teasing smirk, causing a frown to display on your face. A dead panned expression morphing on to your facial features. "I may have really terrible eyesight, but that isn't a way to talk to a lady, Renjun." you pressed your lips on to a thin line, rolling your eyes at the boy as you let out a soft laugh with a shake of your head. 

"Besides, I look terrible in them. As I said in my song, which I'm sure like all the other folks in this world that doesn't pay attention to the message I was trying to convey in my lyrics, it-"

"It makes quite a sight, enough to give the world a fright like a sprite wearing specs?"

You furrowed your brows as Renjun let out a sheepish smile with a raise of his eyebrow, teasing you as a baffled expression laid upon your features at his words. "You were saying, Y/n?" he mused, waving his hand, gesturing for you to continue with your words. Watching as your baffled expression morphed into an amused one. “Oh, that was quite charming of you, Huang,” you shot back with a flirty grin, causing the ticking of his heart to quicken against his chest, sending him small jolts of pain which he attempted to conceal with small chuckles.

"I’m surprised you were paying attention to my lyrics instead of enjoying my song like a normal human being," you huffed, pushing his face away with your palm against the side of his face, eliciting a small laugh from the boy beside you. "You really shouldn't play games with your sight though. They say a blurry vision will leave you in the dark," Renjun recited, remembering the words his caretaker had always said to him about the patients who come in their quarters using spectacles or glasses. 

You shrugged innocently. "I prefer life all a blur than to look horrendous for a living. You and your pretty face wouldn't understand. Also, I tend to forget my glasses frequently despite the fact that my parents’ constant nagging to bring them around," you , causing Renjun's jaw to drop at your bold statement. He has heard compliments about his dashing looks ever since he was a young boy from Madam Wendy’s relatives but ‘pretty’ wasn’t one of them, he should’ve brushed the compliment off and focus on the context of your words and stop acting as if he hadn’t been complimented before.

But however, something about this felt peculiarly different than the times where his family complimented him on his charming looks.

"Pretty? I haven’t heard that one before," Renjun spoke rather hesitantly, still quite bewildered that a woman his age had shamelessly complimented on his looks to his face. Yet again, said woman has a terrible eyesight so he couldn't be too sure that it was a compliment. You laughed, bumping your shoulder against his softly. "That’s the only thing you got out of my words? Are you an insecure lad, Huang?" you chuckled, giving him a slightly sheepish smile. “Are you sure you don’t need spectacles?” Renjun snapped back. 

"I’m just pushing your buttons! I assure you that even without my glasses. I can confirm that you are quite an attractive young man, and that’s saying something considering I’ve been travelling here and there for most of my life. I'm not as blind as a bat, you know." you giggled, clicking your tongue before adding on. "Besides, it won't make much of a difference, really. Even with or without glasses, I still see a very pretty boy," you joked, laughing lightly.

“Out of all the compliments you could’ve chosen, you decided upon the word ‘pretty’? Sounds quite feminine, don’t you think?” he asked, leaning his head to the side, looking at you with half lidded eyes. He realised that he didn’t mind being called pretty, he didn’t mind being complimented by you. Despite the fact that you two had just met. But he couldn’t help but wonder why you had decided to choose ‘pretty’ instead of the other synonyms of ‘attractive’. 

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing? I think pretty can be used for anything. It’s just a word after all, why do things have to be differentiated by the littlest of things? It’s just a synonym of ‘beautiful’,” you shrugged, watching as small raindrops started to pour down from the cloudy grey sky, reaching your hand out to feel the water drops hitting and wetting your skin slowly. Renjun raised his brow at you, perplexed at how you could be so nonchalant about your terrible eyesight considering his caretaker would endlessly bicker until he was forced to use spectacles until his eyes magically got better.

"What's that odd pitter patter?" you mumbled, snapping Renjun out of his thoughts once again. His eyes widened when he realised that the sound of his clock heart ticking had increased, blending well with the sound of the rain as water began to hit the surface of the concrete. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone other than close relatives about his fragile condition, so his anxiety spiked when you turned to look at him, expecting an answer. "It's the rain." Renjun replied after a moment, gulping down his nerves before turning to you. 

"Do you like the rain?" Renjun asked, gulping afterwards when he realised how your eyes softly bore into his with an unreadable expression, the eye contact making Renjun’s clock heart steam up a bit as the gears worked even faster than before. Sighing as you felt the cold breeze that comes with the rain send goosebumps across your skin, you rubbed your arms before looking back to the pouring rain. You shook your head, "getting wet? Not really."

"But the sound it makes? Yes. It always reminded me of how I used to play in the rain back when I was still in elementary school," you nodded with a soft smile. 

The sound of the church bell pierced your ears, making Renjun’s eyes go wide when he realised that the clock had struck 6 pm. Quickly, he got up to his feet, his brushes almost slipping out of his fingers as he stumbled to get onto his feet. “Are you okay?” you asked, looking up at him in confusion, furrowing your brows at the boy as he gulped nervously. “I’m fine, I shouldn’t be out this late,” Renjun shook his head, biting his lip nervously when he realized that the rain wasn’t going to halt anytime soon.

“I don’t think the rain is stopping anytime soon, I suggest you wait here momentarily if you don’t want to catch a cold,” you commented, standing up as well as you stretched your hand out once again to feel the raindrops hitting your palm, smiling softly at the nostalgic feeling that came with it. He clicked his tongue, cursing at himself for letting his curiosity get the best of him as he contemplated on running all the way back home soaking wet. He wouldn’t want to lose his new found freedom.

Muttering a small curse under his breath, he stuck his book under his canvas before hovering it over his head. “Are you going to run? It’s raining cats and dogs out there,” you exclaimed, eyes growing wide when you turned your head to see him taking a deep breath. “Pardon me, unlike you, I have curfews. My caretaker would have my head if I don’t go back home soon,” Renjun deadpanned, rolling his sleeves out as he felt shivers down his spine when the cold wind blew against his skin. 

Right before Renjun was about to take a step into the pouring rain, you grabbed on the sleeve of his shirt, holding him back. “Wait, when can we see each other again?” you asked, eyes boring holes into the back of his head. He paused, his cuckoo clock heart ticking loudly against his chest at the small action. He slowly turned back to you, furrowing his brows as he felt the small machine heat up against his skin, causing him to wince slightly. Noticing his small reaction, you quickly dropped your hand, apologizing abruptly before clasping your hands before your hand. 

“It’s just- I haven’t been in this town for very long and I really need a friend beside me. I’m not quite fond of being alone. I know we just met, but I hope that we could be acquaintances at least?” you grinned up, your bright smile sending ominous effects to his heart as he took a moment to process your words. Renjun started at your bright expression, small steam coming out continuously from his mechanical heart as the seconds went by. His eyes dart from the rain before back to your figure standing right in front of him, waiting for his answer. 

‘Acquaintances?’ 

Renjun has never had friends before. His caretaker would introduce him to her client’s children from time to time but (luckily for Madame Wendy) he had never shown an interest in making colleagues.  But for some reason, something inside him was pulling him to say yes to you. Something inside of him wanted him to try and get to know you even more. It felt wrong. It felt very wrong. But yet again, it felt so right. 

Biting his lip, he gave you a soft smile. 

“I have faith that we’ll be seeing each other again very soon.”

-

“I just think it’s quite preposterous!” you exclaimed as you laid down against the smooth surface of the fountain basin. Renjun chuckled, pressing his paintbrush gently against his wooden palette to get bits of his white paint to add more details to his painting. 

It's been a couple months since the day you met, and since then, you two have been growing closer by the day. Your friendship blossomed as the weeks went by. Madam Wendy wasn’t very fond when Renjun came home soaking wet after curfew, but she excused his actions when he told her that he just lost track of time at the library once again. A rare occurrence but it still happens from time to time, and considering Renjun barely lies to his caretaker, she believed him when he told her so.

Every once a week, the two of you would meet up on the same exact spot as the day you first laid eyes on each other. Renjun assumed that your house was closer considering you were always there first, twisting the crank of your barrel organ, kicking your feet as you sat on the fountain base to wait for him to arrive in your usual dark magenta dress (which he assumed to be the uniform of the school you were attending). The two of you would always walk around town, searching for spots to relax yourselves and talk about random things as you watch Renjun paint whatever that catches his eye. Overall enjoying each other’s company as if the two of you were in your own personal little bubble. 

“What’s so preposterous about the infamous Romeo and Juliet, exactly?” Renjun asked, chuckling as he dabbed the brush on the canvas, blending the colours of the sky on his artwork. You clasped your hands together, huffing as you scoffed at him. “Ever since my school made us all read Romeo and Juliet for the next literature exam, I just realise how horrible this trope is,” you tossed your book to the floor with a click of your tongue, hopping off of the fountain to walk closer to Renjun. 

“Do explain why you think so,” Renjun giggled, watching you dip your finger against the white paint on his palette and kneeling down to smear it against the title on the front cover of your book with a frown on your face. “Why are the females always quote unquote ‘damsels in distress’? It’s very misogynistic if you ask me!” you tsked, grabbing your book and leaning forward to show Renjun the front cover of the book. “Mister Shakespeare was truly a legendary fellow to create a piece of writing this famous, but why use poor unsuspecting 14 year old Romeo and Juliet as the female protagonist?” you complained.

“Why couldn’t it be ‘Romeo romeo, let down your hair!’ instead of ‘romeo romeo, where art thou?” It seems a bit more fair to me,” you joked, causing Renjun to furrow his brows at you. “It might be quite improper for a boy to have tremendously long hair, y/n,” he had to lay the back of his hand against his chest in an attempt to calm down his mechanic heart, feeling it heat up against his skin as he noticed how close the proximity between you were. You scoffed at the boy before you, standing up straight and letting the book hand in between your fingers.

Putting your hands on your hips, you walked in front of him, covering his view of the town. “Well it doesn’t give Mister Shakespeare a reason to give the story an unhappy ending. The despair it brings when you found out they both died in the end? Absolutely preposterous, why would anyone like books with such unhappy endings?” you added on, poking your book with a scrunched up expression, bringing a smile upon Renjun’s lips as he found your figure poking the book in your hands as endearing as watching an small innocent child playing with their own food. 

He sucked in his lip, taking a moment to admire your beautiful form. The gears in his mechanical clock worked faster as his eyes wandered to your slightly pouting soft lips, wondering how soft it would feel against his own. He cleared his throat when he felt a sharp pain scorching through his chest when he realised he was starting to imagine things, patting his chest softly as he tried to bite back a smile. 

“Maybe you just haven’t read true masterpieces,” Renjun responded after a pregnant pause, opening his little bag and pulling out the novel he’s been obsessed with for the past few months, placing it in your palms. “Read this, you can thank me later,” Renjun smiled, patting the book in your hands with a light chuckle, looking up into your eyes for a brief moment before looking back at his canvas. For he feared that if he stared into them any longer, he would simply get lost in your eyes for ages, wincing silently when his chest started to ache. 

“‘The Great Expectations’? This sounds like those tedious books my parents keep on their shelf,” you raised your brow, sitting down on the fountain again as you began to observe the book in your palms, squinting your eyes at the summary written at the back cover of the book. “‘Break his heart, Estella! Break his heart!’ That sounds so cruel of her to break an innocent boy’s heart,” you frowned, looking up at your friend with the adorable frown Renjun came to endear. 

Renjun laughed, shrugging simply as he went back to painting. His fingers twitching against the brush as he coloured white clouds on his piece, feeling your eyes curiously on his content form. “You didn’t want the female protagonist to be the damsel in distress, did you? I just simply gave you what you asked for,” Renjun shrugged, feeling his heart do somersaults as you let out a loud huff of breath, scooching closer towards him so you can begin reading the book. “I suppose so,” you muttered under your breath. 

“Do you carry books like this around with you as you paint or are you a magician who can pull out rabbits out of that bag of yours as well?” you asked jokingly, pulling the cover open and flipping to the first page. “I-Wait hold on, a magician as well?” he furrowed his brows at you, turning his head towards you and leaning his head to the side in confusion. You shot your head up, giving him a bright expression as you nodded eagerly. 

“You might have half of the town convinced that you’re some cold hearted teenager living with the ‘witch’ or the makeshift doctor, as you would like to say, but you can’t fool me, mister! We may have known each other for less than a few months but I know for a fact that you are a magician!” you pointed an accusatory finger at him, wiggling your index finger around, your fingertip hovering right above his nose before poking it with a small ‘boop; coming from your mouth. 

He furrowed his brows, gently pushing your hand away from his face with a raised brow. “Do you mind explaining why you have come to that conclusion?” Renjun asked, an amused expression spreading across his features as he dropped his brush into the cup of water set right beside him before crossing his arms against his chest and leaning back slightly. You grinned, “you’re one of the few people I’ve ever known who can paint so majestically. Have you seen your own paintings, Mister Huang Renjun?” you exclaimed, giving him a wide smile as you threw your arms up in the air. 

He chuckled, adjusting the beret on top of his head. “You don’t know many people, y/n,” he commented with a small smirk on his lips. “Let me finish before I usurp you, Huang,” you frowned, furrowing your brows and squinting your eyes threateningly at him. “I doubt that you even know what usurped means,” Renjun chuckled, shaking his head profusely at you. “Don’t doubt my low vocabulary, Renjun,” you crossed your hands, letting his book lay on your lap as he let out a soft laugh. 

“Alright, what are you going to usurp me from exactly?” he asked smugly, raising a brow at you. “That’s not the point of this conversation, what I’m saying is that you and your aesthetically pleasing art skills are magical!” you shot back in a snappy tone, avoiding the fact that you used a word that you don’t entirely know the meaning of. (considering you only heard it from your mother when she was talking to someone on the phone every morning whenever your father was off at work)  

He swore he could feel the ticking of his tock stop for a few seconds at your words. “Pardon?” he spluttered, putting his hand on his chest once again as he felt the gears in his cuckoo clock turn rapidly against his chest. “The way you carefully apply to each and every detail on every crevice of your canvas is like magic, the way you know how much paint you should apply to get just the right colours and the way you focus on shading or blending the paints together to achieve the small shadows or to adjust the lighting of the painting is just-” 

You paused before letting out a loud groan, “superb! I can’t even find the words on how to explain your magical abilities, the simplest way I can put it in my own way is that you are equivalent to a magician!” you waved your hands around at the canvas in front of the two of you, your eyes going wide in awe as you stared at the half finished piece as if it was the first time you had seen a rare jewel in person. 

Renjun’s jaw dropped as he couldn’t find the words to express how flustered he felt. However, the way his cuckoo clock began to steam up was another completely different thing. He couldn’t help but look down shy at his own paint stained hands, wondering how you could find awe in something as messy as his artwork. “And it is an absolute crime knowing that you aren’t some kind of world wide painter, your paintings are absolutely beautiful!” you exclaimed, smiling up at him as Renjun stared wordlessly into your eyes. 

He couldn’t help but notice how close you have gotten when you began on your unceremonious ramble about his art skills, he couldn’t stop his eyes from darting up your eyes and down to your plump lips. Gulping silently, he scooched back a little bit, gripping the sleeves of his button up shirt tightly as he tried to take the ticking of his heart against his ears, a fuzzy feeling overcoming the slight jolting pain in his chest as he did so.

He watched your eyes go wide at his actions, realizing that you moved too far. “Oh crumbs!” you exclaimed, taking a large step back as you realised the close proximity between you attracted attention from the people around you, eyes watching you like a hawk. Some held disgust to see two teenagers of the opposite gender oh-so-close to each other as if they were going to share a sweet kiss. Some held awe in them, adoring the sight of the two flustered beings cozying up to each other like that. Some held shock as they had never seen the mysterious cold hearted boy who lived in the little house on the steeple that close to someone before.

“I’m so so sorry!” you rambled, feeling your chest swell up as you grew flustered by your own actions. “I didn’t mean to get over excited! It’s just that I was so happy to talk about your art knowing how you don’t think much of it but I just really adore your art and the way you paint- oh god that sounds very inappropriate of me to say. What I meant was-” your short nervous ramblings were cut off when you heard Renjun’s laughter filling your ears, the angelic sound sending warm feelings into your heart. 

“Pardon me for laughing, but that really caught me off guard,” he threw his head back laughing, his cheeks flushing red from laughing too much as he held his stomach, wiping his tears afterward. Your jaw dropped at his amused laughter, embarrassment overcoming your nerves as you huffed angrily at him. “You absolute jerk, I thought I did something wrong and invaded your personal space or made you uncomfortable!” you exclaimed, putting your hands on your hips angrily, only eliciting even more laughter from the sweet boy. 

“It’s really endearing that you find my art that interesting, you really did catch me off guard with your little outburst,” he chuckled, lifting his beret off of his head before running his free hand over his hair, putting the beret back on his head afterwards. You couldn’t deny how pretty he looked with that beret, but of course, you weren’t going to admit it (again) for the sake of your own pride. “I was just expressing my opinions like a normal person, you didn’t have to laugh at me like that, you know,” you crossed your arms against your chest. 

“I wasn’t laughing at your outburst, I can promise you that!” he exclaimed, shaking his head at you, ignoring the searing pain in his chest as he stared lovingly at you. You furrowed your brows, you couldn’t help but notice the slightly sad glint on his pupils, but you chose not to ask about it, focusing on the topic at hand. “Then what were you laughing at exactly, Huang Renjun?” you asked, furrowing your brows at the brown haired boy, who smiled sweetly at you. Leaning his chin against his palm, elbow supported on his thigh. 

“I couldn’t help but laugh at how sweet you looked while talking about the things I do in front of you as if I were moving the sun and moon with my own bare hands.”

-

“You know you have a lovely smile.”

Renjun looked up from his book in alarm, eyes wide at your sudden bluntness. “Excuse me?” he coughed, releasing one hand from the book cover to lay it against the rough surface of his clock heart hidden underneath his coat. “I really like your smile,” you gave him a tight lipped smile, putting the Great Expectations book on the desk you were sitting before laying your hands over the other, placing your chin on top of them before gazing up at him with an innocent shrug. “You’re being quite expressive today,” Renjun chuckled, looking at you with a perplexed expression, his brows furrowed as he kept his hand against his heart, suppressing the little bird inside from letting out a loud ‘cuckoo!’. 

“I don’t like to lie, you know that, Renjun,” you pouted, raising your head up to give him a knowing look. Sitting up straight, Renjun shot you a boyish smile, looking back down at his book. “Why, thank you. That’s quite flattering,” Renjun chuckled, burying his nose in his book in a futile attempt to hide how flustered he felt. Putting the back of his hand against his mouth, he coughed to clear his throat before removing his hand and putting it on his nape to scratch on it nervously. “How are you liking the book so far?”

Renjun cringed at the slight waver in his tone, biting back his tongue as he heard you let out a small hum. “So far, it’s pretty engrossing. It perfectly depicts the image of a young male protagonist losing his child-like innocence through heartbreak and hardship,” you clicked your tongue, folding the corner of the page you were reading before flipping through the other pages to see how many you have left to read. “A compelling coming of age story,” you nodded with a slight shrug. 

“Though, I still don’t understand why you recommended me this book,” you closed the book and placed it back down on the desk, furrowing your brows in curiosity. Renjun gave you a sheepish grin, shrugging as he went back to his own book before replying with a, “you’ll find out once you finish the book,” under his breath. You huffed in response, leaning your forehead against the hardcover of the book, letting out a dramatic sigh. He let out a silent smile, adjusting his glasses as he continued to read the last paragraph of his own book. 

Your eyes glared holes into his head as if he was going to tell you if you glared at him long enough, but you realised that he was back into his own little world now that he was fully immersed into the plot. Your eyes wandered back to the canvas on top of the desk right beside him, his set of acrylic paints and brushes gathered up into a small pile. He had just finished his latest painting of the statue of the founder of this boring town, his artwork never failed to awe you. 

“When I finally manage to finish the book, will you give me one of your artworks free of charge?” you piped up, outstretching your hand as you poked the canvas, trying to pull the large object towards you with a single fingertip in futility. Ever since you started spending your time watching Renjun paint while he listened to you rambling, you had often asked him to draw something for you for free. In which he would always reply with a brief ‘buy your own, acrylics are immensely expensive.’ before rolling his eyes and going back to painting. 

He wasn’t completely wrong. Madam Wendy always grumbled on how paint prices are constantly increasing as time goes on. And whenever Renjun would make a quick trip to the art store just to buy another bottle of white paint, he would always suppress the urge to sigh heavily in front of the kind store owner who would grin innocently (despite the fact that they know full well that they were being absolute gooses for increasing the price as Renjun was going to buy their products nonetheless.)

However it came as a shock to the both of you when he muttered a small ‘fine’ under his breath. Eyes blowing wide as Renjun slowly looked up from his book and eerily turned to you, right before he could open his mouth to retract his words, you shot up to your feet. Catching the boy off guard as you leaned over to cover his mouth with your hands. “No! You are not taking that statement back!” you exclaimed, shaking your head aggressively as you gave him a wide mischievous smile. 

Renjun furrowed his brows, eyes glaring daggers at you to let him go despite the fact that his gears were turning at a rapid speed at the feeling of your skin against his lips. “I’m not letting go unless you say yes,” you mused in a melodious tone, earning a shake of his head in response as he continued to send you his typical cold stare.

Renjun always had a really mean resting face, his eyes always managed to send cold shivers down everyones’ spines. However, there was something comforting in the way he looked at you. A familiar warm feeling blooming in your chest whenever he turned his head to look at you, even though his eyes barely held any emotion, even though his small chuckles and laughs held no genuine happiness in them, you couldn’t help but let a fuzzy feeling grow inside of your stomach. It was exhilarating.

“Come on, you probably have billions of canvases somewhere in town. Giving one away to your dearest friend shouldn’t be a problem, should it?” you whined, still refusing to remove your hand from his lips. He was internally enjoying the close proximity between you, but as the seconds went on, he knew his clock heart was going to burst out of his chest if he didn’t do something. With a small curse in his mind, he pulled your hand away from his mouth. “I would if you paid me. But considering you are currently penniless, I have to politely decline,” Renjun snickered, giving you a disgusted expression as he felt the heat around his mouth disappear into thin air. 

You frowned, pursing your lips as you sat back down on your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. “How could you do this to your most beloved friend?” you mumbled under your breath, loud enough for him to hear as you kicked one of the legs of the table in front of you childishly. Renjun chuckled, “‘Beloved’ isn’t even a word I would use to describe your existence.” Now it was your turn to glare daggers into his skull. “You’re incredibly mean, it’s almost bonkers,” you scoffed. 

“I know,” he shrugged casually, pulling his chair back to stand up. “Now if you excuse me, I would like to wash up to remove whatever bacteria you have oh-so-unceremoniously blessed upon my skin,” he bowed, pushing the chair back in the table as he tugged on the cuffs of his coat, giving you a small grin. “My hands are squeaky clean, excuse me!” you retorted, putting a hand on your chest in faux offense. “Keep telling yourself that, Y/n,” he nodded, abruptly walking towards the washroom at the back of the library with a hand on his chest as the effects of his emotions finally took place inside his mechanical ticking heart. 

As soon as Renjun turned to a corner, out of your line of vision, his whole body started twitching in pain. With a shaky hand he pulled back his coat to reveal the state of his clock. The hands of his clock were turning at a rapid speed, the small bird popping out of the clock and letting out a small ‘cuckoo!’. It was steaming up. Smoke was coming out of the contraption as if it was caught on fire. He felt like his chest was on fire. Renjun leaned his back against the wall, shakily blowing the smoke away and fanning it away softly with his hand. 

What’s happening to him? 

This has never happened before. What was happening to him? Why was he in so much pain? Why couldn’t he call out for help? Why couldn’t he make any sound?

Renjun wanted to cry out in pain, his body twitched as the tiny mechanical bird popped out of his clock with a loud ‘cuckoo!’. He gasped, patting his hands around his pockets for the key to his mechanical heart. He could hear the alarming ticking sounds of his clock with every second that went by, warning him something’s going to happen if nothing is done to stop this pain as he twitched in pain once again, clutching the clock with one hand, he felt something inside the pocket of his shirt. With a small grunt of pain, he fished out the small golden key inside. 

He pulled his hand away from his clock, gasping for breath as the pain in his chest increased with every tick of his heart. He plunged the key into the small hole connecting the arrows of the clock, quickly turning it counter clockwise as the pain started to lessen. Once the pain subsided, he dropped his hand to his sides, panting in exhaustion as his eyes blew wide with fear, his gears were working at their usual pace once again. His chest felt numb, a small throbbing pain lingering somewhere inside of him. 

‘What the hell was that?’ 

His eyes were glossy as he felt his emotions overwhelm his mind. His heart felt like it was going through a spin, as if the big hand of his core was going to pop out of his skin. His bones felt weak, as if it was about to implode at any second. The cogs and springs in his clock felt like they were about to explode. 

The loud alarming ticking in his ears made him wonder if he didn’t pull out the key in time, would his cuckoo clock heart halt for good?

-

“I’ll be off now, Wendy,” Renjun announced as he hopped down the stairs eagerly, gripping his fresh, new, empty canvas to his sides with one hand and spinning one of his brushes in between the fingers of the other. “Oh, you seem in a bit of a hurry, Renjun,” a familiar voice cooed teasingly, her words followed by another giggle. Renjun paused in his step, mustering up the energy to form a small smile as he looked up at the two women giggling at him. “Good morning, Joy. Good morning, Yeri,” he greeted with a polite bow. 

Joy and Yeri weren’t related in any way to Madam Wendy, but they are regular patients who would drop by weekly. And as far as he knew, they were one of the very few people who knew about his fragile condition (which is probably why they visit so often). “You look brighter than usual, what’s gotten you in such a rush, young lad?” Yeri grinned, sipping on her tea as she crossed her leg over the other with raised eyebrows. 

“It’s just a small trip to town, I need to buy more acrylics as well,” Renjun lied through his teeth, feeling the gears in his heart work faster at the thought of meeting you at your usual spot. “You haven’t had breakfast yet, Renjun,” Wendy spoke up, attracting the attention of the three in the room with pancakes stacked on three individual plates. “Do sit down! It’s been quite a while since you had a chit chat with your lovely aunts!” Joy giggled, patting the extra seat beside her before looking at her friend, who nodded in agreement. 

“I really shouldn’t interrupt-” 

“Renjun, go sit down,” Madam Wendy coaxed, placing a hand on his shoulder and nodding towards the empty spot on the sofa. Renjun looked back at his caretaker before sighing heavily, placing his canvas and brushes on the table near the entrance door and walking to sit on the empty spot the women had saved for him. “I’ll be upstairs cleaning up, if you need me,” his caretaker informed before exiting the living room, leaving her adopted son with the other two women in the room. 

“Okay, she’s gone!” Yeri exclaimed in a rather quiet tone before grabbing her fork and looking back at the teenager sitting beside them. “So how are you, honey? I just realised we didn’t even get to greet you last week considering you’ve been so busy lately,” Yeri hummed, shoving a spoonful of pancakes into her mouth as she spared a glance at Renjun. “Indeed! I assume you found something interesting in your great adventure in the outside world,” Joy giggled with an enthusiastic nod, causing Renjun’s eyes to widen. 

Renjun let out a small chuckle. “You two make it sound as if I was a protagonist of some weird story,” he mused, digging into his own stack of pancakes as he felt a warm feeling in his stomach at the memory of the day you first met. “Don’t beat around the bush and tell us!” Joy rolled her eyes at the younger boy, grabbing her cup of tea and pulling it to her lips. “How was this great adventure you’ve discovered?” she asked, her eyes flickering from her tea to Renjun briefly. 

Renjun bit his lip, scanning the room to ensure that Madam Wendy was nowhere in sight. He knew he could trust these two, considering the countless times he’s gotten away with his lies and rants. He bit his lip, glancing down at his hands nervously before giving his aunts a genuine smile. “It was fabulous,” he sighed dreamily, a sheepishly wide smile stretching across his lips as he took another bashful bite of his pancakes. “Tell all! Tell all! Don’t miss any details!” Yeri squealed. 

“What made it all so fabulous?” Joy whispered, her eyes peering curiously at the boy who appeared to be in a dreamy state. “A little singer with glasses which she won’t wear,” he replied almost instantly without any hesitation, a little bit too fast for his liking. “She isn’t all that, is she?” Yeri gasped, leaning back slightly in shock to hear her little Renjun was talking about someone and not something. 

He shot up, straightening his back as he dropped his fork on his plate with a shake of his head. “She is! She really is!” Renjun nodded eagerly, his hands coming up to make grand gestures as he continued on with his words. “She reminds me of a… sparrow! Perched up on the toppest tree branch in it’s tiny little feet, it gives her this calming fragile aura like a twig falling off of a branch. Her voice- her singing is like listening to a nightingale singing a bird song but with words! Or those soothing musical numbers they would always play in the telly after a good show has ended,” Renjun described, his eyes filled with stars and his heart filled with passion. 

The two shared knowing looks, bewildered at how dazed the boy in front of them truly was at that moment. “And her smile it’s like a work of art! Far greater than all of my masterpieces combined, far greater than the artwork displayed on museums! Her laughter makes her seem so miniscule, I could hardly believe that such a light heartening sound could be elicited from a human being!” Renjun went on, his smile wide as he leaned back at the thought of your smile which made his stomach do somersaults. 

“Oh Renjun, I bet that once she catches the flu, you’ll change your mind. Whenever women like those who catch the flu, they cough up a storm and sneeze like a steam truck,” Yeri joked, earning a brief frown from Renjun who scoffed in response. “Oh nonsense! I bet if she does, it would sound like a majestic flute found in the mountains!” Renjun waved his hand off with a roll of his eyes in disbelief.

The two women laughed in response, shaking a knowing look. “So basically, to sum everything up. You went to town and instead of catching the flu, you caught a bug in town, you young lad!” Yeri raised her eyebrow suggestively at the boy, indicating that he’s very much caught the love-bug she’s always ranted about on a daily basis. “Oh deary!” Joy gasped before letting out another fit of giggles, cupping her mouth to ensure that her giggles weren’t loud enough for Madam Wendy to hear. 

“You know it’s forbidden,” Yeri lectured, her tone turning serious when she realised that Renjun was actually serious about this. “For-bid-den!” Joy emphasized with every wave of her finger with a disappointing shake of her head. “I know,” Renjun sighed, a frown forming at his lips as he sunk back against the seat he was sitting on, leaning his head back sadly. “It’s for your own good, you know,” Joy smiled sadly, sympathy lacing her tone as she patted the boy’s head comfortingly. 

“Indeed. Oh deary, I wish I could live without love,” Yeri sighed, pulling out a mirror from her purse to reapply her lipstick. “Oh no, here we go again,” Renjun chuckled, sitting up straight once again as he prepared himself for another sad tragic love story his aunt has to offer. “Every day, every time I fall in love with a patient here or a man, they would always fall for some other girl!” Yeri ranted with a heavy sigh, smacking her lips together to get an even coating on her lips. “I am not letting Renjun listen to another one of your sob stories!” Joy huffed, leaning over to cup Renjun’s ears with her palms. 

“You might taint the poor boy with your bad luck with love!” she exclaimed. “Isn’t my condition a symbol of this bad luck?” Renjun chuckled, gently tugging on the older woman's wrists to remove her palms away from his ear. “Oh hush you, I’m sure you’ll get over this little infatuation you have with this little singer,” Yeri waved her hand off nonchalantly, huffing slightly. “It’s not like you see her every day of the week, you’ll get over it in no time!” she added with an encouraging hum, watching as Joy nodded with her in agreement. 

Renjun bit his lip, biting back his tongue as he continued to shove pancakes into his mouth as quickly as possible. At that moment, Madam Wendy finally came down with a key in her hand. “Renjun, I’ve always told you to bring your key wherever you go. Why won’t you ever take my words to heart?” Wendy sighed, handing the key to his mechanic heart to the young boy, who gulped slightly and mumbled a small apology under his breath before tucking his key in his front pocket. 

He couldn’t help but shiver as the memory of him having a near death experience flashed through his mind, the image of the key plunging into his heart and winding it up to lessen the pain he endured had traumatized him. He was terrified of it happening again. He was terrified of what’s becoming of him. Was this the effects of falling in love? Was he falling in love with you? He hasn’t even known you for very long, he couldn’t possibly fall for you in such a short time.

Besides, why does falling in love feel so good but hurt so bad?

-

“So how was the book I lent you?” Renjun asked in an attempt to spark up a conversation. “Quite interesting, though, I’m not quite sure that I’ll finish it any time soon. I like to focus deep into the depths of the story, fully imagine the characters emotions and thoughts,” you exclaimed, pushing your organ barrel beside the tree Renjun was leaning against, sitting down beside him under the shade and crossing your legs, tugging the edges of your dress over your knees. You dusted the bits of dirt off of the fabric on your dress. 

“I understand, it’s the thought process, right?” Renjun nodded, flipping a page of his book as he hummed. “Indeed! Though, I can’t quite get the gist of why Ms Havisham is so devoted to making Estella break Pip’s heart. She should’ve just left the poor girl alone, besides, I really don’t want to see the poor boy heartbroken,” you frowned, clicking your tongue in thought. “I despise Pip’s sister, as well,” you added with an innocent smile. 

Renjun let out an amused chuckle. “Yeah, she’s a rather insufferable character, isn’t she?” he nodded in agreement, remembering how heartless Pip’s older sister was when it came to Pip and her own husband before she passed away in the book. “She’s exactly what my mother would consider as a bitch,” you added on, pulling your glasses out from your purse with a small giggle, earning a loud gasp from the boy beside you.  “Y/n, language!” he gasped, pulling his book back to gaze at you with wide eyes. 

You giggled, mumbling a small apology before fidgeting with the frames of your glasses mindlessly. Renjun watched you play with your glasses from the corner of his eye, internally wondering why you have never worn them despite carrying them around in your purse everywhere you go. Furrowing his brows, he turned his head back to his book, biting back his tongue before shaking his head at himself.

“You know, you really shouldn’t play games with your sight if it leaves you in the dark, y/n,” Renjun deadpan, not sparing you a glance as he licked the tip of his thumb to flip a page from his new book. You huffed at your friend, fidgeting with your new spectacles in between your fingers as you rolled your eyes at the boy beside you. “How poetic,” you scoffed, earning a soft chuckle from Renjun. “I think I prefer life all a blur, thank you very much,” you added on with a snappy tone. 

“What does that even mean?” Renjun laughed lightly, putting his book down on his lap to turn to you with a soft expression on his face. “I keep forgetting to wear my glasses and now my eyes are blurry, I can’t even see the outline of my hand,” you stated, raising your free hand up above to the sky and squinted your eyes at it in an attempt to get a clearer vision of your hand that was merely a few inches away from you. “Your glasses are literally in your palms,” Renjun pointed out, nodding his head at the hand holding the glasses in question. 

You opened your mouth to speak, slowly putting your glasses in your little handbag behind you before clearing your throat. “As I said before, I forgot to wear my glasses,” you repeated, giving him a cheshire grin in response. “Jesus Christ, why do I even bother?” Renjun muttered under his breath with a shake of his head, “won’t your vision get worse the lesser you wear them?” he asked once again, rubbing his temples in distress. 

Humming in confirmation, you shrugged innocently before leaning back against the tree the two of you were sitting against. “Though, I believe it won’t get worse as long as I close my eyes. My vision won’t get worse if I don’t see, right? Besides, it feels good to close my eyes,” just as you finished your words, you clasped your hands on your lap, leaning your head back against the tree bark and closing your eyes before letting out a sigh of content. Renjun let out an annoyed puff of breath, “I don’t think that’s how it works.” 

Your content expression was enough to send fiery sparks into his mechanical heart, he could almost feel it steaming up again. He couldn’t help but notice how close you were next to him, as if he were to make one little scooch, your shoulders would be touching. His eyes wandered to your beautiful figure laying right beside him, internally suppressing the urge to clasp you close to his body in a tight embrace. Your soft lips causing his stomach to do somersaults the longer his gaze lingers there. He imagines that he would scatter confettis on the both of you if he were to press his own lips against yours in a kiss. 

His mind couldn’t help but wander back to those times where you had to walk up close to the signs to see what street the two of you were heading, the amount of times you had to squint and lean over the table to read whatever paragraph he was trying to show you during your reading sessions at the library. He felt this sudden urge to protect you, to constantly remind you to wear your glasses in case your vision worsened. 

There was something inside of him screaming at him to not let you stray away from the happy path you were currently in. Something inside of him made him determined to be your only guide, to be your pair of eyes. In return, he knew you would ignite the flame in his heart. No, you would be the special flame that burns his heart. You’d be a conflagration in the night. A pretty arsonist. A fire blazing so bright you’ll see the light of the heavens itself. 

“Oh why bother. You know very well, out of my five senses, my hearings best. I’m pretty sure I’ll recognize you without relying on my eyes,” you waved your hand off carelessly, keeping your eyes closed, oblivious to the way Renjun was looking at you so lovingly. “Well I assure you, I don’t think you can rely on your hearing to walk down the streets without my assistance,” Renjun chuckled, recalling the time when you almost walked into the wrong side of town due to your poor eyesight. 

“You don’t know that! My eyes always lead me astray, anyways. Far away down the street, sometimes I can’t bear to steal a glance at the sun or even look the sky straight in the eye for fear that my eyes would deceive me as well,” you confessed dramatically, finally opening your eyes and turning your head to look at Renjun in the eye. Your eyes widened at the way Renjun’s eyes softened at the sight of your own pupils staring back at his in confusion. You straighten up your position, putting your hands behind you and leaning on them. 

“Then let me be your eyes,” Renjun replied in an almost hushed tone. “I won’t let you stray, I promise,” he gave you a sweet boyish smile, making your heart flutter in your chest at his words. “Aren’t you being a little flirtatious? That’s quite unexpected of you, Huang Renjun,” you said with a raise of your brows as the corner of your lips quirked up into a smile that mirrored his own. You turned your head, feeling your faces grow closer and closer with every second. 

“Is that supposed to be a bad thing?” he hummed, turning his body so his shoulder was leaning against the tree bark, a dreamy smile stretched across his lips as he leaned closer to you. You chuckled, shaking your head softly. “I don’t know, what do you think? Maybe it could be a good thing?” you shrugged, closing your eyes and leaning your face closer to his. Renjun followed your actions, feeling the gears in his mechanical heart work at a fast pace. He winced in pain as his body jolted and twitched in pain, the mechanical bird inside of the clock rapidly hitting the door of his clock.

He felt your breath hitting against his face, your lips merely an inch away from his as his body twitched in pain once again. Letting out a grunt of pain, he felt one of the gears of his clock pop out of his chest. Putting his hands on his chest, he grunted once again as his body twitched uncontrollably in pain. There was the sound of fabric being ripped before his vision darkened and he fell back against the concrete floor, falling unconscious within a few seconds.

“Renjun!” a voice yelled out in alarm, causing your eyes to jolt open in shock. 

“Oh god, not this. Please, anything but this,” an unfamiliar voice gasped in a panic. Your vision was blurry, you couldn’t see much happening in front of you. You quickly fished out your spectacles from your purse, putting them on immediately before your eyes widened in fear and shock, your body froze on the spot. You could almost feel your heart stop beating against your chest for a moment. 

Right in front of you was an unconscious Huang Renjun in the arms of an older lady on the floor. He was leaning against her lap, arms wrapped around him tightly in a motherly way. His eyes closed in content, it almost appeared as if he was just sleeping peacefully. There was steam coming out of his chest, you couldn’t see where it was coming from considering the old lady had blocked your view of him almost completely as she pleaded for him to wake up worriedly. 

The lady in question snapped her head at you, glaring daggers at you as if you had committed some sort of arson. “What have you done to him?” she asked, her tone filled with malice and hatred. As if you were the cause of Renjun’s current state. Your eyes widened at her sharp tone, fear and anxiety creeping up in your veins as you couldn’t find the courage to even open your mouth, let alone utter a single word. You shakily got up to your feet, grabbing the strap of your purse before running off away from the two.

-

Slap!

The loud sound of Madam Wendy’s palm making contact with Renjun’s cheek pierced the room, causing his head to turn sideways at the harsh impact, wincing slightly as he laid against the chair, which was commonly used for Wendy’s patients, shirtless. His body jolted at the sudden contact, his heart making a loud ‘cuckoo’ sound at the shock it caused. “What were you thinking? You could’ve died!” Madam Wendy scolded, her fists balled up in her sides as she walked over to her table tray filled with tools. 

Renjun couldn’t speak as he looked down in his palms, his mind blank and face void of emotion. He felt numb at that exact moment, he didn’t know if it was the aftermath of the sheering pain he just endured in front of you or it was because of the feeling of his heart being fixed by his own caretaker. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Huang Renjun. Whatever bloody happened to rule number 3? Did you forget?” Madam Wendy exclaimed in an alarming tone, her voice strict and angry. “No,” Renjun replied before breaking into a small fit of coughs, wincing as his chest burned with every breath he took. 

“Do you have a pain in your heart when you cough?” Madam Wendy asked, her tone filled with worry, eyes filled with disappointment as she searched for a pair of pliers. Renjun nodded slowly in response, gripping the armrests of the chair as he leaned his head back against the pillow set behind his head. “Well multiply that pain and your suffering to a hundred fold and you still won’t understand the pain love causes,” she snapped, using some pliers to pull a piece of fabric from the arrows of his heart, placing the fabric on the small tray beside him before walking off to grab some more tools. 

“And the greater the love, the greater the pain,” she sighed, opening the drawers from across the room. Renjun’s eyes flickered to the woman frantically trying to fix his heart before his eyes moved down to the white fabric on the tray. He reached his arm out to grab it, quickly snucking it in his pockets before looking back at the window. During your near-kiss under the tree, the arrows of his clock must’ve pulled against the fabric of your dress. Your dress wasn’t made out of the most durable fabric, the pull must’ve ripped the top sleeve of your dress when he passed out. 

“First, your sense of ache, followed by pangs of rage and jealousy then incomprehension,” she started to explain, sipping on her coffee as Wendy’s heart ached at the thought of her own child going through that much pain if this goes on.  “Rejection, the agony of heartbreak,” she turned to point her tweezers that was holding a gear in between it with a strict motherly expression. One that Renjun couldn’t bear looking into for too long.

“Your mechanical heart won’t be able to withstand it, you know this! I told you countless times, this is why I’m always so worried whenever I let you go into town,” she barked, walking back to the tools to drop the rusted gear along with the other broken metals she pulled out and replaced from his heart. “It will overheat and explode, I transplanted it with my own two hands, therefore I know it’s limits,” she went on, her tone falling deaf onto Renjun’s ears as his mind wandered back to your figure. 

“A single kiss. A brush against your lips could be your last! Just like that, bang!”

With eyes closed in thought, he wondered what happened after he fell unconscious, how did Madam Wendy find him in such a short amount of time? What happened to you? Did he scare you when he fell unconscious? He was worried you’ll  be afraid to talk to him now. Did Wendy say anything mean to you while he was out cold on the concrete floor?

Oh god, your presence isn’t even here and your existence is entering his heart and filling it with flames as if you were a little fairy wandering around looking for a new home to live in. A home which is his heart. He couldn’t help but let out a small smile at the vivid memory of sitting so close to you under the shade, how his skin burns at the feeling of touching yours, how your smile and laughter gave colour to his emotionless dark world. Oh how the thought of you made Renjun feel as if he was floating. It was as if you were carrying him up into the sky, he felt like flying by your side. 

“Do you know why I saved your life?” a voice snapped him out of his daydreaming.

His eyes opened, head turning to his caretaker who took a seat next to him, gripping her gloves in her hands. “You were the son I never had,” she confessed, giving him a small comforting smile. “Why couldn’t you have one?” Renjun asked rather hesitantly, his voice almost hushed as if he was whispering, despite the fact that it was only the two of them in the room. Madam Wendy shrugged, sighing heavily. 

“It was no one’s fault. It’s one of those tricks love and nature plays on us, you know that more than anyone,” she chuckled, gesturing to the cuckoo clock heart on his naked chest. “Though, the day your mother gave you to me felt like it was heaven sent. Oh god, I would lose my mind and my reason for living if I lost you,” she reached over and ran her fingers through her child’s hair, making Renjun feel some sort of guilt deep down in his chest. 

“I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry I fell in love and I don’t know how to get out.

-

Madam Wendy finally allowed Renjun out of their home a month after the incident. For the whole thirty days he was prisoned in his home, all that wandered in his mind was you. He wanted to see you, he longed to hear your sardonic humor, he longed to hear your angelic laughter flowing through his ears like music. He longed to ask forgiveness of what had happened between the two of you under the tree.

He wondered if you harbored the same feelings for him as he does for you. He doubted you’d still feel the same after the incident, however, a part of him had hope that you would wait for him all this time. He tried to prove himself wrong as he ran around town to all of your favorite spots. The library, the fountain, the art store, the tree. Anywhere his mind took him, his feet didn’t stop moving. His feet couldn’t stop moving. 

He wanted to see you again. No, he needed to see you again. He needed to apologize to you to release the guilt in his heart. He didn’t care if his heart would explode right then and there, he needed to see you and he wanted to finally embrace you in his arms. He needed to know if you reciprocate his feelings, he needed to know if you longed for him as much as he longed for you this whole entire time. He never got your answer, either. He asked to be your eyes, he wanted to be your guide. He wanted to tell you to rely on him if you can’t rely on your eyes, he wanted to hold your hand to keep you from straying to the wrong path. He wanted to feel his lips brush against yours, he wanted to feel love. He wanted to feel loved by you.

His heart fell even more when he realised he couldn’t find you anywhere. No one knew where you went, no one has seen you since the day he fell unconscious. It was as if you had disappeared off of the surface of the earth. The only thing he had of you was the fabric he accidentally tore off of your dress. He realised you left your barrel organ ride beside the tree. It was already collecting dust as leaves fell in between the spaces of the organ. 

You were gone. 

The owner of the library informed him that you had fled abroad. His heart sank to the pit of his stomach at the thought of you running away. You didn’t even say goodbye. You didn’t even have the audacity to tell him you were leaving? Surely you would have informed him that you were leaving. Yet again, you did tell him on the first day you met that you weren’t supposed to stay here for too long. But was it too much of him to ask you to at least say goodbye?

-

Two years later, it was Renjun’s 18th birthday. Two years since he lost you, two years since he went back to the hollow shell he formerly was before he fell in love. He spent months wallowing in his own sorrow, he spent months wondering if you missed him the same way he missed you. He no longer looked forward to walking out of his home to paint, all he saw was grey. The places he spent with you made his vision dark and grey, it was as if the joy inside of him were stripped from his vision. 

He didn’t know what to do. His heart grew numb, he didn’t know how to make himself happy again. It was as if he had lost a part of himself. He had lost something precious. Which he did, he lost you. He didn’t know what to do. Yet, on a rare occasion, he would take small walks into town. 

Madam Wendy noticed how Renjun’s whole existence grew dull ever since that day, his eyes were always dark as if he hasn’t slept for centuries, a frown permanently placed on his lips, his movements weak as if he didn’t have the energy to move. At this point he admitted that he was barely living, he was just a human body existing with a cuckoo clock as a heart. His days were no longer as bright as they used to.

To Renjun, the days felt like it was repeating itself. He wasn’t allowed to go to school, for Madam Wendy feared that he would be made fun of and bullied by his peers. Everyday, he would wake up and wind up his heart, take a long shower, eat his breakfast, paint or read his books, occasionally talking to the patients who attempted to make small talk with him (however that wouldn’t last very long considering he had no interest whatsoever in interacting with strangers he barely knew), eat dinner, go to bed. Repeat. 

It was an exhausting cycle. His mind was growing dull. Whenever his mental health became worse, he would take a walk into town to clear his mind to try and lift his own spirits (despite the fact that he knew it’s futile. After all, he’s been trying this for the past two years.) Today was unfortunately one of those days. 

Renjun had decided to take a small visit to the library. He remembered how he had to apologize to the librarian for lending you the Great Expectations book when he remembered that you’ve never returned the book back to him. He still felt guilty despite the fact that the librarian didn’t mind it very much. The librarian lady took a liking to both you and Renjun, she thought the two of you would’ve ended up together if it weren’t for the fact that you had moved away without a goodbye.

But fortunately for Renjun, today was a different day. Today would be the day to end his miserable lifestyle. 

“Renjun! Renjun, my dear boy! How are you, honey?” the librarian greeted, putting a stack of books on the counter as Renjun entered the library with a bashful smile on his face. “Same as always, Mrs. Dust,” he bowed to greet the older lady politely, snucking his hands in his pockets after tugging on his coat. “Honey, I have lovely news for you! You remember your old friend, Miss Y/n, don’t you?” the lady giggled, walking over to the young adult with an eager smile on her face. 

Oh how Renjun’s heart perked up at the brief mention of your name. 

“Of course I do, Mrs. What about her?” he coughed, clearing his throat to prevent his voice from shaking. “I’ve received a letter from her! Oh hold on, dearie,” she giggled, squatting down to open the small drawer near her desk and pulling out a small postcard which had a familiar handwriting written on the back. “It must be your birthday soon. Happy birthday, my dear boy. The least I can do is give you this,” she smiled, handing Renjun the postcard with a hum. 

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Dust,” he smiled, gripping the postcard tightly in between his fingers as he looked down on it. It was indeed from you. You didn’t write much on the card, nothing more than a simple ‘happy birthday’ and a small ‘I missed you’. You had written your name at the edge of the card and a small ‘R’ beside the happy birthday, indicating that it was truly for him. Fireworks erupted in his stomach when he saw small hearts doodled all over the card with a red pen. 

You remembered him. 

You missed him. 

You thought of him.

Those words were enough to revive the spark in his heart. Those were enough to spread a bright genuine smile across his lips. His cheeks hurt from how wide his smile was, he felt like jumping for joy. He was so ecstatic he thought he could fly to the sky, he felt his fingers itching as his eyes wandered to the address you have written at the bottom of the postcard, giving him a hint of where you might be living. 

Andalusia. 

You were half across Europe. You were so far away, yet so close. He wanted to see you. He needed to see you. He couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste, he needed to get a move on and he needed to find you. He thought sending you a postcard back wasn’t enough. He wanted to see the girl who managed to turn his heart without the key, he wanted to see the girl who produced a spark in his heart with only a few mere words.

He ran all the way back home, encountering Joy and Yeri on the way back and shooting them with an uncharacteristically bright smile stretched across his face. “Renjun, lad, what’s gotten you all jumpy?” Joy exclaimed, causing Renjun to stop in his tracks. “I got a letter from her!” he informed them, his voice high-pitched as if he just got told that he had personally won the sun, moon and stars all to himself. In his case, he actually did. He actually did.

“A letter?” Yeri squeaked up, a smile stretching across her face at the sight of the younger boy’s. “From who?” Joy asked, giggles bubbling up in between the two ladies as they watch Renjun suppress the urge to jump for joy. “Y/n! She remembers me! She sent me a postcard from Andalusia,” he exclaimed, waving the postcard in their faces. Joy’s eyes wandered down to Renjun’s chest, watching as the hands of his clock spun rapidly, indicating how excited the young adult was feeling. 

“Y/n? Was this the young girl you went on about a few years ago?” Yeri asked, receiving an enthusiastic nod from Renjun himself. “Renjun, that’s great news! What are you planning to do then? Write her another letter?” she asked once again, clasping her hands in front of her at the delightful news. The boy shook his head eagerly, his smile never faltering. 

“I’m going to find her, I’m going to find her and confess my love,” he breathed out, his own words taking his breath away. The thought of seeing you again was enough to send him flying into the heavens, oh for all things that’s holy, he didn’t know how he was going to proclaim his love for you in person when he could barely explain it in words himself.

“To Andalusia? Renjun, that’s halfway across Europe! Madam Wendy won’t be very happy about this,” Joy informed him, a sympathetic smile replacing her previously bright one. Renjun’s smile faltered at the mention of his caretaker, looking down at the postcard you had sent him, your messy handwriting beckoning him to come to you. He sucked his bottom lip, his heart racing at the thought of rebelling against Madam Wendy’s orders.

Yet again, if he did end up dying from this, all of Madam Wendy’s efforts throughout the past two decades would be in vain. She was practically his guardian after all, but yet again, he was a legal adult now isn’t he? He’s 18 years old, he didn’t have to live under her rules anymore if he didn’t want to. But he couldn’t help but feel guilty for wanting to flee Edinburgh just to see you again, something inside of him was screaming at him to run.

Maybe this time, he would listen to it.

“Joy, Yeri, will you help me escape Edinburgh?”

-

“Renjun? What are you doing up so late?” 

Renjun froze, halting his movements as he dropped another sweater into his suitcase. He shut his eyes tightly as his heart raced against his chest, taking a deep breath to compose himself before standing up to face his caretaker as he zipped up his suitcase tight. “Wendy,” he cleared his throat, gripping tightly on the saddle of his suitcase with a small cough, slipping the key to his heart in his front pockets. “Renjun, why do you have a suitcase packed? It’s past curfew,” she narrowed her eyes at the boy.

“Wendy, I am now a legal adult. I have turned 18 years old,” Renjun started, suppressing the urge to gulp down his nerves but he kept his ground. “Yes, I know that, Renjun. That still doesn't answer my question as to why you’re up this late with a packed suitcase,” she nodded, tone laced with confusion as Renjun took a step back towards the opened window, looking out at the moonlight. “Y/n sent me a postcard… from Andalusia,” his voice grew quieter as the seconds went by.

“I’m planning to travel half across Europe to see her again.”

“No, I forbade it.” Wendy shook her head, taking a step forward towards her adopted child, her hands balled up into fists at how Renjun’s determined expression didn’t falter at the slightest bit at her strict tone. “I expected you to say that,” Renjun sighed, walking over to the open window and looking up at the moon shining down upon the dark sky. 

“Nature was cruel to pray this silly little trick on me. I spent two decades wondering ‘what is love’? I knew I didn’t need to love in life, you showed me that throughout my whole 18 years of living here. I didn’t need love to live,” Renjun started, clasping his hands together as he held the saddle of his suitcase harder.

“But I realise, I’ve always wanted to feel love. To feel love, to give love and be loved back. Y/n made me realise that when I started falling for her two years ago, and if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have come to this realisation either,” he chuckled in disbelief, looking around at the decorations of his room, realising how much he’s going to miss living here. “I want to go out and explore the world, I know you have been dreading at the possibility of this day coming, but it has, Wendy.”

“Renjun, no. If you leave, this might as well be the last breath you’ll take! You have never travelled outside of town before, how are you going to survive travelling all across Europe for some measly girl? I won’t allow it, I can’t allow it,” Wendy shook her head, her eyes wide with panic as she watched Renjun walk backwards to the open window behind him. “I know you won’t allow it. But it’s time to let me go,” Renjun smiled sadly.

“Thank you for the 18 years you have spent trying to keep me alive. But the past two years felt meaningless to me without her presence, it felt aimless. I was honestly thinking about taking my own life at some point,” he chuckled with a shake of his head. “But now, I realise I rather risk my life for love than spend the rest of my days here with an empty, cold feeling in my heart,” he shot his guardian a genuine smile, the first genuine smile she has ever witnessed from the young boy. 

“Goodbye Wendy.”

“Huang Renjun!” 

Renjun fell back from the open window, causing Madam Wendy to let out a cry of his name, quickly running over to the window to see if her child was okay. She gasped when she saw that Renjun had landed on a mattress Joy and Yeri had set before hand, a loud joyous laughter eliciting from the younger boy’s lips, a sound Wendy has never heard from the boy from his eighteen years of living. He got up from the mattress, grabbing his suitcase quickly before shooting a boyish smile to his aunts. 

“I’ll send you a postcard, Madam Wendy!” he exclaimed as he began running down the hill. 

“Renjun, no! Come back! Oh god, please no! Yeri, Joy, what are you doing?! Stop the young lad before he-”

“You can’t blame me for falling hard in love, mother!”

-

“Now my dear boy, what a lovely contraption of a heart you got there!” a man exclaimed, adjusting his monocle as he squinted his eyes at Renjun’s mechanical heart. “Oh, why, thank you,” he smiled politely, bowing at the older man as he gripped his canvas in hand. “Where are you off to? You seem quite young to be travelling all by yourself,” the man asked in an attempt to make small talk.

That night, Renjun had run off to catch the nearest train to Paris, he planned to take a trip from there to Andalusia. It was a 7 hour ride but he was willing to do anything at this point to get out of Edinburgh. When he finally arrived in Paris, he stumbled upon this man while waiting for his next train. “Oh pardon me, where are my manners! I’m Kim Doyoung,” he outstretched his hand for Renjun to shake with a toothy smile spread on his lips. 

“Huang Renjun,” he introduced with a sheepish smile. “Ah, So, Renjun, where are you going, my dear boy? You seem a little bit too young to travel,” Doyoung took off his monocle, wiping it against his tie before putting it back on. “I-I’m trying to get a replacement for my heart,” Renjun said, poking his little clock with the tip of his finger, grimacing at the small ticking sound it was making at the small touch. 

It wasn’t a complete lie. 

He had planned to get a replacement for his heart for so long, he figured that maybe if he changed into a new one, this wretched curse of forbidden love might be lifted. Maybe he didn’t have to part ways with Madam Wendy or Joy or Yeri. Maybe if he replaced his clock, he could live his life happily in love with you. Though, for now, it was just a small hope he held inside of him. All he could do now was find a clockmaker.

“I’m trying to find a clockmaker somewhere to replace my heart,” he spoke in a bold tone, looking down at his unfinished piece. He made it during his seven hour train ride while thinking of you just to pass the time, though, he was honestly considering giving it to you the moment you get to reunite with each other. “Do you happen to know one?” he asked, his eyes going wide with hopefulness.

Doyoung hummed in response, tugging on the tip of his tie. “Unfortunately, I’m not a clockmaker. But I do like tinkering in the mechanics direction! Maybe I could take a closer look at your heart to see if there’s anything I can do,” Doyoung suggested, pulling out a magnifying glass with a nod of his head. Renjun sucked his bottom lip nervously before taking out the key from his front pocket, plunging it into the mechanical heart and turning it to open the door of his heart. “Alright then.” “Oh! You say that this was grafted by the famous Madam Wendy from Edinburgh? She must be quite the genius to craft and piece this all for you with her bare hands to save your life,” he exclaimed, leaning closer to observe the small gears slowly turning with every small tick tocks his heart makes. “Though, I don’t know why you’d want to replace such a thing. Everything works just fine, clearly, she made this out of love. I could see it within every crevice of art she puts into this clock,” the older man clicked his heart, putting his magnifying glass back into his bag as Renjun closed his heart shut and pulled his key out of the clock.

“Love, huh? That’s the exact problem I have at the moment,” Renjun sighed heavily, tucking his key back into his front pocket before leaning back against his seat. “It’s very dangerous to me. At least that’s what Wendy said to me for the past eighteen years of my life,” he looked down at his shoes sadly, pressing his lips together in a tight line as he felt the guilt catching up to him at the thought of his caretaker’s efforts going in vain. 

“Tell me about it,” Doyoung grinned, putting his hand on his chin as a smug expression spread across his features. 

“You see, mister Kim-”

“Oh no! Call me Doyoung!” 

“Uhm- You see, mister Doyoung. There’s this singer I met in Edinburgh a long time ago and-” “Ah yes, I see. These things do happen quite often.” Renjun bit back his tongue when Doyoung interrupted him once again, but nonetheless he continued on with his story. “As time went on, we grew closer. And soon, I couldn’t help but feel as if my whole world was going through a life threatening earthquake. My head was spinning, I couldn’t breathe. The ticking tock of my clock sounded almost alarming as if it was going to stop at any given moment whenever I’m within her lovely presence,” he explained, making grand, dramatic gestures with his hands as he went on.

Doyoung chuckled, assuming that Renjun’s poetic explanations were purely symbolic. “And how did that feel, exactly, Renjun?” he asked, causing Renjun’s expression to soften. “Extraordinary,” he sighed, almost dreamily as he looked down at the postcard he was holding in his free hand that wasn’t holding his canvas. “There you go, my dear boy,” he chuckled in response, leaning back against the seat next to Renjun’s.

“I don’t know, Mister Doyoung. I fear Wendy might be right, though, what if love was just a trap and my ticking clock is just a bomb waiting to be triggered by it?” Renjun asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously as he kissed his teeth. “Renjun, if you fear of getting hurt, you will increase the chances of getting hurt,” Doyoung laid a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder comfortingly. “You should enjoy the thrill, the danger! That pumps through your veins at the thought of falling completely in love,” he exclaimed. 

“If you live your life worrying everything, you’ll get bored before you even die! Don’t you want to experience a life changing experience with this little lady you’ve been saughting after?” he asked, her tone encouraging Renjun’s spirit to get back up again. A smile stretched across Renjun’s face at the thought, he had flashbacks to the two years he spent without you. He couldn’t afford going back to the same depressing situation he got himself out of, and he’s definitely not willing to go back now that he’s almost there.

“If I can find her again. The last time I heard from her, she was in Andalusia,” he shrugged with a small laugh.

“I’d say,” Doyoung laughed. “When you’re eighteen and you’re travelling half across the continent for a girl, I’d say the rebellious genes in your DNA are highly developed,” he joked, retracting his hand from Renjun’s shoulders. “I bet I could make a whole film based on your cuckoo clock heart,” Doyoung whipped out an empty journal from his bag, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at his newfound friend. “Why not?” Renjun chuckled with a small shrug. 

“Young love, what a beautiful thing to see. You see, I never had any fond memories when it comes to being in love. All I do is invent and invent contraptions, and my former lover never appreciated my expertise. Life is far from easy when you’re in love, my young friend,” Doyoung sighed, leaning his arm against the seat with a heavy sigh. “Why don’t you come with me to Andalusia then, Mister Doyoung? I’m sure anything’s possible there and I wouldn’t mind having a bit of a company on my way there,” Renjun offered, the thought of making a new friend giving some light into his dark path.

“You want an unprofessional mechanic with constant near mental breakdowns following you in your journey to find love?” Doyoung’s eyes went wide in shock, a smile that mirrored Renjun’s appearing on his face. “I would love to have an unprofessional mechanic with constant near mental breakdowns in my quest!” Renjun laughed, nodding eagerly as he sat up straight to shake Doyoung’s hand to make a deal.

Renjun had  made another friend.

-

When they finally arrived in Andalusia, they stumbled upon a small amusement park where you were rumored to be staying in at the moment. “Well, first impressions?” Doyoung asked, looking around the ominous park filled with performers and eccentric workers setting up their tents. “It’s.. quite different than Edinburgh, I must admit,” Renjun chuckled, pulling on his suitcase eagerly as he scanned his eyes around in hopes that he might see your figure at the corner of his eye.

The park, unlike his old town, was way more colourful than Edinburgh. There were animals in colourful cages, happily interacting with their inmates. There were jesters and mimes practicing for their acts in the middle of the streets, happily entertaining a few visitors. There were food stands everywhere, Renjun swore you could exit this park penniless under five minutes if you really wanted to. 

“Come one, come all! For tonight we have special acts starting from 5 pm to-” 

He walked past whom he assumed was the announcer of the park, who was enthusiastically using a tricycle to spread his message all over the place. And upon walking around he stumbled upon what seems to be a horror attraction in the shape of a train, the owner standing inside of a coffin as she smoked her cigarette, eyeing Renjun suspiciously. “Looking for something, you little runt? A job, perhaps? Cause, I’m looking for a new employee to hire,” she asked, taking a puff of her cigarette in between her sentences. 

Renjun took his words back about Madam Wendy resembling Ms Havisham. Because at that given moment, he felt like Pip when he was first introduced to Ms Havisham in the book, clueless as to what he wanted with her. Renjun shook his head, no, mustering up the courage to give the older woman a polite smile. “I’m looking for a little singer?” he answered with an innocent smile. 

“A little singer? Here? The chances of that is equivalent to finding a snowflake in hell,” she rolled her eyes, taking another puff from her cigarette and blowing smoke into Renjun’s face. He coughed, taking a step back in alarm but he bit his tongue to snap back at the woman’s rude actions. “Listen, I’m just trying to find a little singer who sings like a lovely bird in the break of daw-” 

“Enough jabbering about her! Do you want the job or not?” she sighed exasperatedly. 

As Renjun was about to give the woman a piece of his mind for being so rude, the announcer cycling around him caught his attention with his words. “Ladies and Gentlemen, up next in our line of performers will be the young singing sensation, Miss Y/n! A lady who has travelled far and wide with her infamous street singing career,” the announcer said with a booming voice as he cycled to another part of the park.

“Miss Y/n?” he whispered with a soft gasp. “Well? Do you want the job or not?” the woman asked with a raised brow. He frowned involuntarily at the woman’s abrupt tone, clicking his tongue before running back to wherever Doyoung was. “I’ll think about it!” he exclaimed loudly before sprinting off, calling out his colleague’s name with a bright smile on his face. 

“I found her!”

-

“It is her!” he gasped, watching as you slowly come out of your little private trailer, music piercing his ears and your voice making its way into his heart like a knife throwing attraction. It hit right at the target perfectly. “It’s her, I can’t believe it,” Renjun could feel his breath being taken away. You had grown to be a beautiful woman, your features changed slightly due to the years but nonetheless, it didn’t do anything to stop Renjun’s heart from swelling up with adoration like a balloon being filled with helium. 

“Go into her trailer, no one’s going to notice you. Talk to her after her performance,” Doyoung encouraged with a slightly hushed tone. “Excuse me?” Renjun’s eyes shot wide at the unexpected encouragement, his eyes wandering to the trailer you came out of. “I can’t do that! That’s a lady’s privacy!” he exclaimed, shaking his head aggressively. “Trust me, it’ll go smoothly! Just believe in yourself and try not to let the conversation die,” Doyoung hissed, nudging on the younger boy’s shoulder.

Renjun got up slowly, gulping down his fear as he quickly got into your trailer, eyes wide at his own stupidity. ‘God, why did I decide to do this? This is very uncouth of me to do so,’ he thought to himself, wincing slightly when he realised that the music had died down. A bouquet of daisies were in his hand, he didn’t know what to do at that moment as he observed your trailer. It wasn’t very far from you. It was decorated according to your liking.

Your favorite colour was splashed all over the walls, a mannequin standing idly beside the entrance, your dressing table with a gigantic mirror showing his nervous presence. He froze for a brief moment at the sound of your enchanting humming and your little footsteps coming closer to the trailer, making him stand behind the mannequin on pure instinct as you walked into the trailer with a skip in your step.

You were humming the same song you sang on the day you first met. Muttering the lyrics under your breath as you removed bits of dust from your clothing from the performance. Looking up at the mirror, you gasped at Renjun’s awkward figure standing behind your mannequin. You stood up abruptly, grabbing a perfume on your desk and raised it up threateningly at him. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” you exclaimed in alarm. You couldn’t see his face very clearly considering you weren’t wearing your glasses.

“I’m sorry! I was tying my shoelaces when I fell into your floor,” Renjun shook his head, waving his hands around nervously to give off the message that he wasn’t some weird creep or stalker snooping around your belongings. “Do you always fall into a girl’s quarters when she’s changing?” you snapped, lowering your perfume hesitantly as you narrowed your eyes suspiciously at the boy. “NO! No! I would never, I swear! I don’t even know why I’m-”

“You look suspiciously familiar as if I recognise you from somewhere,” you mumbled under your breath, squinting your eyes at him. “You recognise me?” Renjun perked up, a smile stretching across his face as he took a step away from the mannequin towards you. You scoffed, rolling your eyes before turning to the mirror to adjust your appearance. “What do you want anyway?” you sighed, as if you were used to this sort of encounter.

“I’d like to give you a bouquet of daisies,” Renjun bit his lip, pulling the bouquet behind him and leaning it towards your direction. “Daisies? I can’t say they’re my favorite flowers,” you chuckled, looking up at him with a more relaxed expression. “I have no idea why, but peculiarly, daisies always reminds me of my glasses,” you confessed, putting the bouquet on your desk and standing up towards the exit. “I stopped wearing them a long, long time ago. They make me look like some weird bug,” you joked, looking back at Renjun, who chuckled at your words.

‘You really haven’t changed, huh?’

“It’s fine by me,” Renjun chuckled, walking closer towards you in comforting silence. The way your eyes made contact with his softly made his stomach do somersaults, the gears of his heart felt like it was powered by a burst of energy. “Could we see each other again?” he asked hesitantly, “I’d like to get to know you even more,” he added, snucking his hands in his pockets. “Perhaps,” you shrugged, giving him a smile that mirrored his own. “You’re not from around these parts, are you?”

“Oh, no! I’m not, I’m the-I work at the ghost train,” Renjun lied through his teeth, letting out a nervous laugh. “Oh, you’re the new scarer? That’s wonderful news to hear,” you exclaimed, clapping your hands to congratulate him on his new job. “Yes, of course! Exactly, I’m the new scarer,” he nodded, a little bit too eagerly if you asked him. “Can I come see you in action?” you laughed lightly, observing how fidgety the boy in front of you is as he stepped out of your trailer.

“Of course!”

“Tomorrow? Around four?” 

“I’ll see you then.”

-

As the weeks went by, the love between you and Renjun blossomed like a rose. You bonded over your love for art and music in general, rekindling the friendship you used to have. But unfortunately for Renjun, you didn’t recognise him, not a single bit. It was against his beliefs to hit a woman, for that was very impolite of a man, but whenever you mumble how you couldn’t put your finger on how you recognize him from somewhere then proceeds to drop the conversation, he couldn’t lie. He wanted to smack you upside the head for your oblivious self. 

‘Oblivious, rather ludicrous and as blind as a bat. Why did I fancy her, again?’ he would always ponder to himself on a daily basis before watching you run around to try the newest food from each of the food stalls with a bright smile on your face. ‘Oh, right, that’s why,’ he sighed heavily before going over to you with his hands clasped behind his back, mentally preparing himself to fall head over heels for you over and over again.

Today, he was giving you a tour of the ghost train. (yes, he took up the offer with a roll of his eyes just so he can stay here and spent more time with you) “You’re doing a wonderful job here, by the way. It looked like people are having a lot of fun riding the ghost train with your assistance,” you complimented, giving Renjun a soft smile as you walk along the dark train tracks.

“Why thank you, my boss can’t say the same, however,” he grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes at the thought of his boss being ashamed of him for ruining her quote unquote reputation. “Don’t mind her, she’s always been like that,” you waved it off with a small giggle, patting his shoulder. “Hmm,” he nodded, a pregnant pause settling between you two as you basked in each other’s company. “How did you like the glasses I gave you?” 

Everyday, Renjun would find the most ominous and peculiar looking glasses that were all twisted and broken to give to you, which always brought a smile upon your face knowing full well that you couldn’t wear them no matter how much you tried. “Awful, as usual,” you joked, clasping your hands behind your back as you skipped along the tracks, your shoes hitting the dark coal with a soft ‘tip tap’. “Wonderful,” he laughed lightly, shaking his head profusely at you.

“I still can’t shake over the feeling that I’ve been in this situation before, or maybe I dreamed of this moment before,” you blurted out, looking around the damp cave-like tunnel you were walking through. Renjun bit his lip sadly, suppressing the urge to tell you that he was the boy you met back in Edinburgh. Yet again, what if you left for a reason? What if you left because you didn’t want to see him again? He feared the worse as time went on. 

“I’m sure we’ve met before but I don’t know where,” you turned to him with a smile tugging at your lips. “Really,” Renjun looked down at his feet, kicking the coal as you both paused in your step and turned your bodies to look at each other in the eyes. You somehow found comfort in looking into Renjun’s eyes, but you couldn’t pinpoint why they constantly gave you a sense of deja vu whenever you stare into them for too long. “What’s that odd pitter patter?” you mumbled, hearing a familiar tapping sound in the tunnel.

He bit back a smile, “it’s the rain.” 

He knew those words all too well. “Do you like the rain?” he asked, putting his hand behind his back as he adjusted the top hat on his head. “Getting wet? No,” you shook your head, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “But the sound it makes? Yes,” you nodded enthusiastically, making Renjun laugh at your slight eagerness. “And I’ve heard that noise before somewhere,” you whispered, loud enough for Renjun to hear. 

“That’s because it’s my heart,” he couldn’t help but blurted out, putting a hand on his little coat. “Pardon?” you furrowed your brows in confusion, watching him tug on his coat to reveal a miniscule cuckoo clock on his chest. “My heart, they made it for me on the day I was born. It’s a bit cold and a little fragile, but it works,” he sighed, watching as you observe the small contraption on his heart with a curious expression, pulling out the key from his pockets.

“You can open me up with this little key,” he grabbed your hand and placed the key in between your fingers, letting you push the key into his heart and turning it to the left before opening the door of his clock. “Fascinating, do you always let other girls walk into the train tracks with you and let them open your heart?” you chuckled, raising your brow at the boy in front of you, whose eyes widened in surprise as you pulled your hand away from his heart. 

“No, not really. In fact, you’re the first one,” Renjun shook his head with a sweet smile, closing the door shut and pulling out the key before placing it back into his pocket. “Oh, thanks,” your eyes widened slightly at his blunt expression, putting a hand on your arm shyly. “You’re welcome,” he chuckled, patting the key in his pocket. Renjun’s eyes wandered from your eyes to your soft lips, his heart racing against his chest at the thought of finally picking up where you had left off all those years. He didn’t even realise that he was leaning his head towards yours. 

“Wait- no,” you pressed a hand against his chest, pushing him away as you turned your head to the side with guilt glossing over your eyes. “Don’t,” you shook your head as you took a step back. “I really like you. There’s a warm fuzzy feeling growing in my tummy that’s making me pull towards you like a magnet, but,” you paused, looking down at your hands nervously as they lay limp on your sides. “My heart belongs to someone else,” you gave him a sympathetic smile. 

“Someone I met a long, long time ago. You always reminded me of him. “I’m still waiting until the day we reunite once again, embarking on a romantic adventure with you would just be unfair,” you sighed heavily, rubbing your arms nervously as you slowly let Renjun down. A great pang of pain pierced through Renjun’s whole body at your words, he could almost feel his heart tear itself apart as he watched you walk away and out of the ghost tunnel. 

Away from him.

-

“Renjun! You’re back! So? How did it go?” Doyoung exclaimed, fixing his latest invention with a cough, dropping his tweezers in his bag as he wiped his hands on a nearby cloth. Doyoung had rented an empty building so that he could introduce his new inventions to the public and entertain them with them. “She loves someone else,” Renjun mumbled under his breath, tossing his top hat onto one of the seats they set up as he sat down on the steps of the small indoor stage Doyoung had built over the past few weeks.

“I travelled halfway across Europe for her for absolutely nothing,” Renjun laid his head on his palms, sighing heavily as he tried to keep himself from screaming in pain. His heart was hurting. It was way different than the pain he felt two years ago, it was a whole new level of emotional pain he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. “Did you at least confess your love for her?” Doyoung asked, taking a seat next to the boy as Renjun gripped his hair tightly in distress. 

“Why bother? Her heart’s filled to the brim, there’s no way I could empty it out like a sink,” Renjun pulled his head out of his hands, his elbows laying on his legs as he threw the golden key to his heart against the carpet floor out of frustration. “You can’t just let your efforts go to waste, Renjun. Did she at least recognise you?” Doyoung asked, leaning over to grab the key and place it back into his younger friend’s palm with a heavy sigh.

He shook his head, turning it to look at the older man who adjusted his monocle. “No, I’d prefer her not to remember who I am than to remember me and not love me in return,” Renjun leaned his cheek against his palm, eyes looking down sadly at his feet. “You can’t just give up like that, Renjun. Love is like a shooting star you’re supposed to seek after, a wish you must grant yourself with the fifty percent chance of getting the outcome you desire,” Doyoung encouraged, leaning back against his palms behind him. 

Renjun chuckled softly, a sad smile appearing on his lips. “I never felt so sad yet so happy at the same time,” he shook his head, pressing his knuckles to his temples hard. “Ah yes, two of the most powerful and impactful emotions of the human soul combined into one,” Doyoung mused, raising a brow at his lovesick friend. “If only she believed me about my heart, her expression tells me that she thinks it’s some kind of sick joke,” he scoffed, kicking the air with one foot as he let out a huff of exhaustion.

“Well, did she say who has captured her heart?” Doyoung asked, raising his brow, causing Renjun’s eyes to shoot up wide. 

The impact of Kim Doyoung’s words have never failed to get Renjun’s adrenaline rushing again through his veins as he walked into your trailer with a small push against your door. “Do I know him?” Renjun asked abruptly, wanting to get straight to the point as he was very eager to know who has captured your heart. “Could you stop barging into my trailer all the time?” you retorted, turning towards him as you put down your makeup brush on your desk. “The boy you’re in love with, do I know him?” Renjun repeated, the gears of his heart racing against his chest.

He doesn’t even know if he wants the answer to that question. “No,” you replied bluntly, adjusting the laces on your dress. “So you’re not in love with him anymore?” Renjun asked, raising his brow as he crossed his arms against his chest and leaned against the door. “No, that’s not what I meant!” you huffed, feeling yourself getting frustrated the more he edged you on. “Look, it was a very, very long time ago when I first met him,” you rolled your eyes.

“It was back when my parents still made me move from city to city. Oh god, that city was practically made for him. The aura of the city radiated the same aura he had back when I first met him, cold and depressing. Nonetheless the more I got to know him, the more I realised that inside he was just a warm human being that needed someone to light up his perspective,” you sighed, clasping your hands together right in front of you. There was a loud ‘cuckoo!’ that pierced both of your ears, and suddenly, a small gear shot from Renjun’s heart and hit the wooden closet right beside you. 

“Would you stop playing with your clock? You could injure someone, it won’t hurt to take it off occasionally, will it?” you exclaimed with a gasp, looking up at him with bold eyes as you put your hands on your hips. “I can’t help it, it’s not some bloody toy! It’s my heart,” he snapped back, his hands balled up into fists as he felt his blood boiling in his veins at the sound of you talking so highly of someone else that wasn’t him. The way you talked about whoever this boy is was the same way he talked about you to everyone else. 

He took a deep breath to calm himself down when he saw your taken aback reaction, “I’m sorry.” You let out a deep sigh as you stood up from your desk, putting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort the poor fellow. “Look, I would really appreciate it if we could become friends. How about we go down to the theater tomorrow? I heard Mister Doyoung made a new contraption to add to the cinematic universe,” you suggested, giving him a kind smile as you took his hand in yours to try and cheer him up a bit. 

“I’d really like to go together.” No matter how much his heart was telling him to rest for the rest of his life, no matter how much in pain he’s currently in, but the moment he looked into your eyes, he knew he couldn’t say no. 

-

“Would you care to share more information about your romeo?” Renjun asked, holding his wrist behind him as you two walked outside of the amusement park together after the show. “Oh, don’t call him that. I absolutely despise that specific work of Shakespeare’s,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you hopped over a pebble, grunting as you caught your balance. Renjun chuckled, “why so?” he asked, raising his brow at you. 

“The typical damsel in distress trope never failed to make my blood boil like a pot of water on high heat,” you huffed, crossing your arms. “I prefer to call him my Pip,” you giggled, climbing up a small hill before sitting on top of the grass and laying your head down with a content sigh. “Pip? Why Pip to be exact?” Renjun asked, raising his brow as he took a seat next to your lying figure, leaning back against his palms. “A couple years ago, right before I left. We had this small debate on happy endings and shakespearean works,” you started, gazing up at the starry night sky. 

“I would constantly babble on and on about how women shouldn’t be the damsel in distress, then one day he whipped out this book out of nowhere like some sort of magician! It was called the Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, I finally finished when I left the city so I never got around to returning the book he let me borrowed,” you sighed, placing your hands on your tummy as you giggled at the thought of your first love possibly getting mad at you for leaving without a goodbye with the addition of not returning his book back. 

Renjun’s heart raced at your small story, his body froze as his ears grew a slight tint of pink (which wasn’t very visible, thanks to the dim lighting of the moon shining down upon the two of you) when he realised that you were talking about him. You were talking about him all along. “I realised why he let me borrow the book though, I asked for an unhappy ending without the female protagonist being the damsel in distress. It was a beautiful story, really,” you sighed, closing your eyes as you thought back to the times you shared back in Edinburgh.

“He would always listen to my rambles as he painted some random landscape in town, showing me his talents as well as listening to my words as I ranted about the foolish decisions of the characters. He reminds me of Pip a little bit. A bit childish, a bit foolish, a little bit misunderstood,” you went on, before pausing briefly, eyes opening to look up at your new friend. “Should I stop? I don’t want to bore you with my story, I tend to ramble a lot unintentionally,” you asked, receiving an aggressive shake of Renjun’s head. 

“No! No! Keep going, I’m getting very interested in your story, do continue,” he laughed lightly, looking down at his clock, biting back his lip to keep himself from jumping for joy. “The last day I saw him- oh god, I remember it every night before I go to bed. I never had my glasses on around him, so my memory of his physical appearance is rather blurry. But I remembered it like it was yesterday. Sure, I might not recognize him today with my own eyes but I remembered we almost shared a kiss,” a wide smile stretched across your face as a warm feeling bubbled up inside of you at the vivid memory. 

“Yeah?” Renjun couldn’t help but let a wide smile spread across his own lips at the thought, turning his head to the side to suppress the urge to tackle you in a strong embrace. You remembered. “He offered to be my eyes, he offered to keep me from straying down the wrong path. I never got a chance to say yes,” you giggled, rubbing your palms against your eyes as you felt a giddy feeling inside both of your chests. “Guess he was too eager to kiss you before you could say yes?” Renjun joked, grimacing at his own childishness. 

You chuckled, shrugging simply. “I guess so, I didn’t mind though. It felt exhilarating. I didn’t know how it happened but he also tore a little bit of my dress as well,” you shook your head, looking back up at the stars scattered across the sky. Oh how Renjun was using all the strength vested inside of him to keep his heart from going ‘cuckoo!’ right in front of you right now. “He might not remember me, I sent him a postcard a couple weeks ago. I never received one back. But someday, when we reunite, I’d like to thank him for the lovely book and for teaching me what love feels like.”

“Everytime I’m near his company I would always feel so safe. So happy, so loved. Genuinely happy and genuinely loved,” you sighed, closing your eyes once again as you took in the fresh air. “I’m sure he felt the same,” Renjun felt his cheeks hurting from how wide he was smiling. “Hey, can we see each other again?” he spoke after a moment of comforting silence. “Alright, when?” you opened your eyes, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him. “Noon? At the theater, I have something to tell you,” he grinned. 

“Alright then, is something wrong? Why the funny face?” you chuckled, sitting up from your laying position, cocking your head to the side as you raised your eyebrow at him. “Nothing, I’m just really excited to show you this,” he shook his head, he couldn’t hide his big smile from you any longer. 

Just like how he couldn’t hide his longing and love for you that he has been harboring for the past two years. 

“She’s in love with me,” he said to Doyoung, who gave him a proud grin in return. “Congratulations, my dear boy! You tamed the spark in your heart,” he gave Renjun a pat on the back, who smiled sadly in response. “But there’s a problem. She’s in love with the other me, the one back in Edinburgh,” he sighed, sitting down on one of the seats in the theater. “I don’t see why this is a problem. The ‘you’ back in Edinburgh is still the same ‘you’ now!” Doyoung furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“I assume so, but what am I supposed to say to her?” Renjun ran a hand through his hair in frustration. 

“Tell her how you feel! ‘It’s me! Renjun! The boy you loved oh-so-dearly for all these years! Your first love from Edinburgh, I have travelled far and wide all over Europe to find you, my love. So now let me take your hand and let’s venture and sail for the skies! In each other’s loving embrace!’” Doyoung boomed, throwing his hand in the air to make grand gestures as he spoke, standing up in the midst of his words. 

“Quite poetic, but I tried. The words are jammed at the back of my throat and I can’t let them out,” Renjun huffed, internally cursing at himself for holding himself back because of a small guilt lingering in his chest. “You’re still afraid of what might become of your heart once you fall completely, aren’t you?” Doyoung sympathized, putting a hand on his hip as he frowned upon his young friend’s unfortunate condition. “A part of me is still guilty for putting all of Madam Wendy’s efforts in vain,” Renjun laughed bitterly. 

“I thought you wanted to love and to be loved back, you mustn’t be afraid!” Doyoung encouraged, using the same tone he used previously to influence all of Renjun’s previous actions with a wide toothy smile. “You’re eighteen, you deserve the love you’ve been longing for, Renjun.” 

Renjun bit back a smile, shaking his head out of his insecurities as he stood up to his feet. “You’re right, I should’ve just told her who I was at the start. You have to help me come up with something.”

-

“Renjun? Are you here?” You called out, entering the theater bashfully. “Right here, Ms!” Naeun, Doyoung’s new friend, coaxed, waving her hand to tell you to sit on the front row, right in front of the stage. A familiar merry tune played in the background as the curtains were pulled back to reveal two puppets of what appeared to be you and a familiar little boy from Edinburgh. Doyoung came into view, clearing his throat as Naeun strummed the chords of the song you sang on the day you met your first love with a ukulele in her hand. 

“It was a lovely day in Edinburgh,” Doyoung began, looking towards the puppets. “Little miss y/n who was sixteen years old was dancing around in her dainty shoes, getting her feet all in a tangle before tumbling down to the floor due to her own clumsiness,” Renjun added with a small nervous laugh, moving his own little puppet around and towards the mini puppet version of yourself. “On the day they first met, she would ask ‘what’s that odd pitter patter?’ ‘What’s making that noise?’” Naeun hummed melodiously, causing your eyes to widen with every single word that comes out of their mouths. 

“It’s just the rain, do you like the rain?” Renjun asked, shooting you a short glance as if to say ‘sounds familiar?’

You furrowed your brows, lips pressed into a thin line as you silently watched the performance in front of you, taking every single last bit of information they were sharing into your head as took in the meaning of their words. “Miss Y/n adored the sound of the rain, but however, all this time she didn’t realise that the sound she came to adore came from the tick tock of Renjun’s mechanical heart,” Doyoung recited, looking down on his little card before sharing a knowing look with Renjun and Naeun upon seeing the flabbergasted expression etched on your face.

“Oh, how if he had told her where that pitter patter had come from, would she recognize him the instant they reunite? Would Renjun have to suffer the pain of travelling half across Europe to see her only to not be recognized for the little lady could not rely on her own eyes?” he added on, adding a bit of suspense as the settings on the puppet show changed slightly to the two of you sitting on top of a crescent moon side by side, sending you flashbacks to the last day you saw your first love. 

“Perhaps, if he had told her, would she have believed him and sampled the magical intimacy of blending dream and reality?” 

Soon, your eyes got glossy with tears. Your heart racing rapidly against your chest as you sat there in complete silence, the new information overwhelming your sentences as you watched the two puppets kissed on the crescent moon, the exact same way you were supposed to kiss two years ago. You sniffled, putting a hand up against one of your eyes to keep your tears from falling as Renjun walked up towards you and off of the stage with his hands behind his back. 

The curtains closed as he gave you a boyish smile, outstretching his hand to show you the piece of fabric he accidentally tore from your dress and the postcard you had sent out almost a month ago. You gasped, delicate fingers gently grabbing the postcard to inspect it. It was indeed the postcard you had sent, it was indeed your handwriting, it was indeed the same filthy postcard you sent a month ago. 

Within a few seconds, you fell unconscious as all this information was too much for you to handle. 

“Oh bloody hell, we killed her!” Renjun cried out in panic, taking a step back in alarm at your sudden concussion. Doyoung and Naeun’s head shot from in between the curtains, hissing at him to not panic and carry you back to your trailer. He sucked his bottom lip as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around your knees and your back, making you lean against his chest, your head so close to his. He gulped as he walked out of the theater, nervously praying to whatever God up there is watching him to not make him drop you in the middle of the streets. 

But fortunately for him, he managed to carry you back to your bed safe and sound. Laying your head on the pillow, he stood idly on the side of your bed, watching your sleeping features. You looked so content, his fingers itched to run themselves around your hair and to caress your cheeks. Oh how he longed to nuzzle his nose against yours lovingly and how he longed to press his lips against yours-

‘A single kiss. A brush against your lips could be your last! Just like that, bang!’

He grunted as his body twitched as his guardian’s words flashed through his mind like lightning and thunder, Madam Wendy’s sorrowful expression couldn’t help but make its way through his mind, causing his body to twitch once again. He took deep, staggering breaths as he palmed his heart in pain, eyes moving over to your sleeping figure before Madam Wendy appeared once again in his vision. 

‘Do you know why I saved your life?’

“If you really are the boy from my time in Edinburgh, why did you wait all this time?” 

His head shot up at the sound of your voice, his eyes wandered to your figure as you stared down at the piece of fabric. “What can I say? You’re an idiot, I feared you won’t recognize me considering you’ve never actually used your glasses during our small encounters,” Renjun chuckled sadly, sitting on your bed as you sat up and leaned on the headboard. “You didn’t even say goodbye, I thought you left because you were in shock of my sudden concussion on that day,” he said half-jokingly, putting a hand behind his neck.

You gave him a sad smile, caressing the postcard with your thumb. “My parents were tricked that day. They trusted the wrong person and the police got a hold of them, my mother left me outside all alone so the police wouldn’t find me and take me away too,” you explained, pulling your knees to your chest as you leaned your chin on your arms. “I remembered being so alone, so cold. That’s why I decided to flee Edinburgh, we weren’t allowed to stay for too long. Our neighbour told us they were going to get us permits but the next day… unfortunately that happened.”

Renjun’s heart ached for you, he never wanted to see you sad. Even though you weren’t supposed to be in Edinburgh in the first place, he felt slightly selfish for it. If it weren’t for the fact that your parents had moved her, maybe your parents would still be by your side to this day. However you can’t change what’s been done, the past is the past. He couldn’t do anything to make the pain of losing a parent go away that easily. 

He placed a hand on yours, rubbing his thumb soothingly against your knuckles in a silent attempt to comfort you. You smiled at him, scooting closer to Renjun without hesitation. “I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t know,” Renjun spoke briefly, letting your fingers intertwine with his own tightly. He reached over to his pocket, pulling out the key to his heart and tugged your intertwined fingers together. “I can’t make the pain of losing your loved ones go away like a magician could, but the only thing I can assure you is that I’m not going anywhere and this key is the living proof of it.” 

He laid the small golden key in your palm, tucking your fingers against it. “This is the key that winds me up, without it, I would be knocked out for good,” he chuckled, gazing his eyes deeply into yours. “You can wind me up, open up my heart, do whatever you want,” he shrugged, watching you scoot closer to him and mirrored the same actions as the ones he showed you on the Ghost Train. “If it hurts, don’t hesitate to tell me,” you informed him, turning the key to the right slowly. 

“It doesn’t usually hurt,” he laughed lightly, eyes filled with love and adoration. He felt his heart spark up with the same comforting flame you manage to set. He found comfort in the love of his life gently caressing his fragile heart as if it was made out of the rarest jewels in existence. 

He found comfort in you. You really are the key to his heart. 

“There you are, you little brat!” the owner of the ghost train spat, entering the trailer quite rudely. “You there, what are you doing holding back my employee? As if he doesn’t slack off enough on the job,” she sighed exasperatedly, taking out another cig from her pocket before lighting it up. “You have ten minutes to get there, it’s almost starting,” she hissed, her tone filled with anger and malice as she made her way out of the trailer with a huff of breath.

You and Renjun shared knowing looks, giggling softly as you pulled the key out of his heart. “I think we should get going,” you said in an almost hushed tone as if you were to make a louder sound, you would break the comforting silence between the two of you. You outstretched your hand to give him back his key but Renjun shook his head at you, chuckling softly as he gently curled your fingers against the key in your palms and gently pushed your hand back towards you. 

“Keep it, I insist,” he shook his head. “What? No, don’t be silly! It’s the key to your heart, Renjun. It’s yours, I can’t keep it,” you shook your head receiving the same chuckle from the boy in front of you. “No, from now on, it’s yours,” he grabbed your free hand in his, intertwining your fingers once again. “Let’s run away together,” he suggested, squeezing your hand in his as he crossed his legs together. 

“Excuse me?” your eyes widened at his words. “After your show, run away with me and let’s make the world our oyster,” he gave you the widest grin he could muster, his cheeks was starting to hurt from smiling too much and for too long. He didn’t know where the sudden suggestion came from his mind but he wanted to do what he’s always dreamt of doing with you, to sail for the skies hand in hand with you by his side. (And maybe live a content life in a cottage with three cats and a whole art studio, but that can wait. After all, he’s waited this long to finally reunite with you)

“This is going to sound very cliche but where would we even go?” you giggled, finding his eagerness quite adorable considering it was a rare sight to see, even back when you were still in Edinburgh. “I don’t know, anywhere! The seas, the trees, as long as I’m with you I’m willing to make do with anywhere. As long as you say yes,” he squeezed your hand encouragingly against his, loving eyes pleading for you to say yes. And the smile you gave him was enough to give him his answer.

-

Renjun ran all over the amusement park with his suitcase in hand, the sound of your voice booming through the speakers as he felt the adrenaline rush through his veins, happiness surging through every part of his body. He was finally living, he was no longer going to live in the same, miserable hollow shell he had been living his whole entire life. A bright smile spread across his face as he entered the theater, panting heavily.

“Well then?” Doyoung pipped up, putting his hands at his hips as Renjun gained his composure as though Renjun’s wide smile hadn’t given him the answer he was hoping for. “She loves me, the real me,” he sighed exasperatedly, putting his hands on his chest as he could hardly believe it himself. “Congratulations, my dear boy! I’m delighted for you, absolutely delighted,” he gave Renjun a hug and patted his back as if he was his own younger brother. 

“We’re going to run away for the hills together after her show, I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I’m sure I wouldn’t have done this without your help,” Renjun beamed, pulling away to shake his old friend’s hand enthusiastically, his mechanical heart racing rapidly against his chest at the thought of eloping with you all over Europe. “I’m going to miss you, Renjun. Do write to me from time to time,” he gave him a nod, a proud smile etched on his face, causing Renjun to chuckle and nod. “Of course.”

As Renjun was in the middle of packing, your show had finally ended. You snuck back in your trailer to pack your own clothes, but then you saw none other than one of your fellow performers, Choi San, sitting on your desk with a small piece of paper in hand. “San? What on earth are you doing here?” you asked, furrowing your brows as you took out your suitcases from your closet. “I heard you’re going to run off with that new boy,” he grinned, chuckling slightly as he smacked the paper against your desk. “Renjun? Oh! Turns out, he was the boy I fell in love with back in Edinburgh,” you giggled, shoving random clothes into your suitcase, your makeup bags, your shoes, anything you could possibly fit into one single bag. 

“I need to tell you something before you get into serious trouble,” San informed, giving you a hard expression before hopping off your desk to hand you the piece of paper. “I was doing my daily letter checking at the post office and I found this in the mail, it was from Renjun’s guardian from Edinburgh,” he sighed, crossing his arms as you opened the piece of paper to reveal a fancy handwriting underneath. “It tells you everything you need to know about Renjun.” 

You squinted, pulling your glasses from your purse and putting them on. “What are you going on about here, San?” you furrowed your brows as you read through the letter. It was indeed from the ‘Madam Wendy’ Renjun would always rant to you about during your days together back in Edinburgh. “That thing he calls a heart, it’s not what you think it is. It’s a grenade, a ticking time bomb waiting to be triggered, he’s dangerous, y/n,” San informed, his hard expression turning into worry.

“I'm just glad I came here before it was too late,” he sighed in relief, looking down at his feet. “No, San, you must be mistaken. Renjun wouldn’t hurt a fly, he’s absolutely harmless!” You shook your head, refusing to believe his words as you looked down at the letter. “For now, but until he loses control of his heart and therefore fails to abide by the three rules Wendy had given him on the day he was born,” San informed, his eyes narrowing at the letter. 

“The three rules?” you furrowed your brows at him, watching as San’s expression grew dim with sympathy. “Everything you need to know is in that letter, I’ll give you some time to yourself,” San patted your back with a comforting smile before exiting the trailer, leaving you with the letter and your own thoughts. 

-

“Are you trying to make me a murderer?!” you exclaimed, exiting your trailer with your fists clenched up tightly by your side. “Excuse me?” Renjun furrowed his brows in confusion, being taken aback as he took a step towards you with his suitcase in hand. “What are you even talking about?” he asked, letting the air sink back into his lungs from all the running he had to do all over the amusement park. “Madam Wendy told me everything in this letter,” you shoved the letter against his chest, watching as shock took over his features.

“Wendy sent a letter?” he gaped, his jaw dropping to the floor as he inspected what seems to be his caretaker’s handwritten letter. “She told me about the three rules, how you ran away against her wishes, everything! Were you not going to tell me these important details?” you hopped off of the first few steps of your trailer to come closer to the boy you love deeply in front of you. “Or did you forget to tell me something as serious as that?” you snapped, sadness and betrayal flossing over your eyes.

Renjun felt his heart sink into his stomach at your hurtful expression, he was so caught up in the fantasy of running away with you, he completely forgot about his fragile condition for a brief moment. “Who even are you, Renjun? I want to know who’s the man I’m falling in love with,” you gripped the hem of your dress to keep yourself from screaming at him out of pure frustration and anger, feeling your heart ready to explode at the fact that you had the potential to kill him if your relationship proceeded from this far on. 

“I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if you died,” you tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat, looking down to hide your glossy eyes as you tried your best not to think of what would happen to him if you hadn’t received that letter. 

Renjun froze in place, his eyes turning glossy with his own tears as he watched you speak, the words jammed at the back of his throat as he knew, deep down, there was nothing he could do to change your mind. It was far too late, he can’t do anything to change your mind anymore. “I refuse to love you, I refuse to be a murderer. That’s not my idea of love,” you shook your head at him, putting the back of your hand against your eyelids to wipe away the tears. Every word that came out of your mouth felt like a dagger into his mechanical heart. It hurt. Renjun was hurting. His heart was breaking right in front of you, and you both knew it. 

“It’s selfish,” you couldn’t help but splutter out. “No, wait. You got it all wrong, y/n,” he finally spoke up, frustration filling his veins as he found the courage to speak up. “Oh, so you didn’t escape your guardian’s home without permission, thus causing her to worry about you for the past few weeks with no information whatsoever?” you snapped, putting your hands on your hips after you wiped your tears away. “Yes, but that isn’t the problem here!” he shook his head, taking a step towards you as he groaned in frustration. 

“There you go! Oh, so now you’re going to disobey another rule and lose your temper?” 

“It’s not like that! Just listen to me-” Renjun reached his hand out to your face before his body started twitching in pain, causing him to drop on his knees as gears and screws popped out of his heart. You gasped, watching as your lover writhe in pain on his knees, letting out pained grunts for the next fifteen seconds right in front of you. Thus, giving you a brief image of what was going to happen if you continued on. 

“You’re scaring me, Renjun.” 

“I’m sorry.” he breathed out, putting his hand on his knees as he ignored the steaming state of his cuckoo clock heart. Your eyes softened at his guilty figure, your hands laying limp by your sides as you let out a sad sigh. “Goodbye, Renjun.” Were your last words before you walked away from him, leaving him to deal with his own pain. 

“I did the craziest things for you. My life isn’t always topsy turvy when it comes to love, but I put my life in your hands because I truly love you,” Renjun confessed, causing you to pause in your step. You inhaled deeply, not giving him a spare glance. “Yes, I agree, your actions are inhumane at this point, but count me out, Renjun,” you hissed back, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep yourself from shaking and breaking down right in front of him. “I’d prefer you to be hurt like this than dead, I can’t live with myself if I was the reason for your passing,” you sighed, looking down at your shoes briefly.

“Please just leave me alone. I’m not running away with you.”

You didn’t look back as you walked away, ignoring the sound of a distraught Renjun getting to his knees, holding his heart in pain. His eyes scrunched up in pain as he let out small grunts, trying to get to his feet back to make his way back to the theater. He collapsed back to the concrete ground as soon as he got to his feet, the ear piercing sound of his clock falling apart before him lingered in his mind as cogs and screws popped out of his makeshift heart. He wanted to scream out your name and plead for you to come back into his embrace, but he knew you wouldn’t turn back. 

So he did the only thing that came into his mind in order to stop this unbearable pain. He got up to his feet, putting two hands on his clock and pulled hard, ignoring the physical pain it brought him as he tried to rip out his own heart from his chest. Letting out a scream of pain as he collapsed to the floor, pieces of wood and metal scattering across the floor and drops of blood dripping from the doors of his heart. 

“Renjun!”

Doyoung and Naeun came up to Renjun as quickly as they could, holding him up as he coughed heavily. “I want to change into a new clock, I’m so tired of this one constantly falling into bits every time I feel the slightest bit of joy,” he mumbled almost monotonously, letting out another fit of coughs afterward. “Madam Wendy was right,” he added with a light painful laugh. “I suppose I have some spare parts to help you fix your clock from my camera, I’ll go get them-” Doyoung insisted but Renjun gripped on the older man’s wrist urgently. 

“No, I want a new heart. I’m tired of this one. One that works. I’ll never fall in love again,” he leaned over, cupping his mouth as he coughed once again, feeling more gears pop out of his clock like a confetti from a canon. “You’re running out of time, Renjun, you must seek help immediately. Is there anything you can do to salvage what’s left of your heart until you get back to Edinburgh?” Doyoung asked, furrowing his brows. “I can’t, I gave the key to Y/n. She left me, I can’t get it back anymore,” Renjun shook his head sadly, looking down at his own blood staining his fingertips.

“That key is your life, Renjun! You took a huge risk,” Doyoung shook his head at how deeply in love the boy in front of him was. “I know,” he mumbled, his words becoming more breathy by the moment. “You must return to Edinburgh and have Wendy patch you up again, it’s the only way to save your life,” Doyoung slung an arm around his shoulder, lifting him up as Naeun helped with carrying his suitcase. 

Doyoung led a heartbroken Renjun onto a carriage to the nearest train station. He insisted on coming with the young lad but Renjun wanted to face the consequences of his actions alone, he couldn’t bear to rip his friend away from the path of success he was walking into. So, with a heavy heart, Renjun rode the train back to Edinburgh with his eyes closed and his heart hurting like hell against his chest. 

‘This must be the same feeling Pip went through when Estella finally broke his heart to elope with some other man she didn’t love.’ he thought bitterly to himself.

-

“Madam Wendy what?” your jaw dropped as San shared a new bit of information. 

He leaned over, showing you the newspaper he was reading which informed you that Madam Wendy had passed in her prison cell. Apparently, she was caught for tampering with mechanics on a dangerous level with her other patients and was thrown in jail once again, but the disappearance of her adopted child had a great impact on her health, therefore she left her body in the cell she was staying in. 

“Oh, no. Oh dear god, no,” you hopped out of San’s performance tent, patting your pockets and pulling out the key that belongs to Renjun’s heart. “What’s wrong?” San asked, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth as he stood up as well, worried as his brows furrowed in confusion. “Renjun gave me the key to his heart, I forgot to give it back,” you yelled back, running as quick as you could to the theater, the only place where Renjun could be at the moment. 

You knocked as hard as you could, calling out the boy’s name in a panic. “Miss Y/n? What are you doing here?” Doyoung asked, opening the door as he rubbed his eyes from the lack of sleep. “Can you tell me where I can find Renjun? I still have the key to his heart,” you asked in an abrupt tone, showing the older man the key in your palms. “Nothing to worry about, Miss! He’s on his way back to Edinburgh as we speak, Doctor Wendy can patch him up in a jiffy!” Doyoung smiled. 

“That’s what I’m afraid of, oh god, no. But Madam Wendy’s passed away,” you informed, clenching your fists with the key in your hand. Doyoung’s eyes widened in surprise, his face turning pale at your words. “Oh boy, that isn’t good news. Go after him, hurry! Save Renjun before it’s too late, that’s what he wants more than anything. I put him on a carriage to the nearest train station. If you’re lucky, you might catch him on the train before it departs,” Doyoung rummaged through his bag, pulling out a random journal. 

“Here, take this. In case you don’t catch up to him, here’s something to read on the way. It’s a journal I kept ever since the very day I met Renjun,” he handed you the journal as Naeun called another carriage for you to ride to the train station. You sighed, your head filled with worry as you looked up at the two adults willing to help you save Renjun despite the fact that you were the main reason why he was in this mess in the first place. 

“Thank you.”

-

Renjun laid in the snow, near the house where he used to call home. Sniffling as he leaned against the tree at the bottom of the hill. Joy and Yeri had contacted him and brought him the news of his caretaker’s passing. Sulking as guilt took over his body, regretting every single decision he had made the past few months. And now he’s going to suffer the consequences of dying all alone. He couldn’t walk into his own home after the news, choosing to lay down under the snow to let himself slowly freeze to death and possibly hypothermia. 

So now, he was taking his last few breaths, enjoying the bright sky as he watched his skin froze, tears slowly turning into eyes as he laid there all heartbroken and damaged. His hair was white from the snowfall, with bits of brown peaking out in between as he sniffled and sobbed over the loss of his mother. Taking deep breaths to regain his composure, as his skin grew numb against the cold. 

“Renjun! I’m here!” 

It was as if the God above had decided to send an angel back to help him, he slowly looked up with half lidded eyes, a small shaky smile spreading across his lips as you fell to your knees to help him. “Renjun, oh dear god, no,” you whimpered, leaning close as you laid a hand on his jaw, making him lean his head up to look at you weakly. You grimaced at his cold skin, it felt like ice to you. It was as if he was turning into a giant ice cube right in front of you.

His appearance made your heart break. He looked so pale and broken since the last time you saw him. His eyes were red and swollen from the tears, snow gathering on his eyelashes, eyebrows, hair and clothing. Hell, he was wearing nothing but the thin coat he wore the last time you saw him. Dried blood was stuck to his cuckoo clock heart which was in a worse condition than it was back in Andalusia. You ran your thumb over his soft cheek, making him lean his face against your warm touch as you wiped the snow away from his skin. His breathing was slow, as if he was taking every breath he could before his last. 

With a shaky hand, you placed what's left of his heart back into their original place, your breathing becoming shaky as you held back your tears. It truly hurt you to see Renjun in this state, you knew he was on the brink of death. You didn’t even want to think about what would have happened if you had arrived much much later.

You pulled out the key to his heart from the inner pocket of your coat, leaning forward to press the key into his heart. But alas, his hand stopped you as he gently gripped your wrist and pulled it away from him. “No, I’m not too late. I’m not letting you die here, just let me turn the key,” you shook your head, blinking back the tears as you pushed your glasses up from the bridge of your nose. “I came back to save you, please just let me do this,” you pleaded, caressing his cheek with your thumb in a futile attempt to convince the love of your life to let you save him. 

“You came all the way back for me,” a tear streaked down Renjun’s cheek which froze under the cold atmosphere, sticking to his cheek. “That’s the most extraordinary turn you could ever give my heart,” he laughed slightly, half lidded eyes trying their best to stay open as his vision began to grow blurry and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was losing consciousness or if it was because of the tears he was holding back.

He tugged the key out of your hand before tossing it over the hill. “No, Renjun, what did you do?!” you panicked, your eyes growing wide at the key disappearing from your line of vision. “No, why did you do that?” you shook your head at him, pressing your body close to him as he leaned his back against the tree. “From now on, whatever happens to me,” Renjun spoke, giving you the same boyish smile he sent your way on your last day in Edinburgh two years ago. “I’ll only have myself to blame,” he sighed, intertwining your free hand with his icy cold one. 

“So now you can kiss me.” 

Your heart broke as you finally let your tears go, squeezing his hand tightly in yours as you sniffled. “As I said before, the things you do are absolutely inhumane,” you pushed your forehead against his, feeling your tears hit his wet clothes as you felt his other hand go to your jaw. “I’m just upset I never got to give you the painting I’d been working so hard on for all these years,” he chuckled, his eyes growing even more red as his tears streamed down his face like a leaking tap.

He caressed your jaw in his hand, eyes scanning your face one last time as he came with the fact that this was your last goodbye before he leaves for good. “If we were ever to be reborn again, I would still wish and pray for the gods to make you my first and last love,” he couldn’t help but laugh to stifle a sob that erupted from his throat. “And if we were ever to be reborn again, I hope you can always continue to smile like that until the day you close your eyes for good,” you nuzzled your forehead against his, sniffling hard. 

Thus with eyes clenched shut, you and Renjun pressed your lips together in unison for a passionate yet innocent kiss. You could hear the last strike of Renjun’s ticking clock, a loud ‘cuckoo’ piercing the quiet atmosphere as Renjun pulled you closer to him by wrapping an arm around your back and leaning his head to the side for a better angle. Your warm soft lips pressed onto his cold chapped ones, wet from the snow.  Your intertwined hands squeezing each other as you felt his mechanical heart put a ring on your own.

The next time Renjun opened his eyes, he was at the gates of heaven, standing in front of an actual angel with a bright expression on his face. “Huang Renjun, I assume?” the angel greeted, a soft smile spreading across their face as Renjun nodded. “You seem a bit too young to be up in heaven. Aren’t you just 18 years old?” the angel asked, pulling out a clipboard to look through Renjun’s life data. “I was almost nineteen, though,” Renjun shrugged, his wide smile never disappearing from his facial features.

“I’m so sorry you had to leave life so soon, young man,” the angel cooed, taking out a pen from their desk as they began to fill out Renjun’s form for his plans now that he’s in the afterlife. “Care to tell me what happened while I do the paperwork for you?” the angel asked, sticking their tongue out as they wrote Renjun’s life information on the glowing paper with a messy handwriting, reminding him of the postcard you had sent him less than a couple months ago. 

Renjun looked around the bright place he was in, sighing heavily as he stared up the gates of heaven with a content expression. He swiped his tongue over his pink lips as he finally felt his heart no longer empty, 

“I fell in love.” 

a/n: i didn’t like how this turned out lmfao but oh well HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, HUANG RENJUN MWUAH

¤ taglist: @leetaeyonglover @lebrookestore @oifelixcmerebrou @vera-liscious @kunrengui @thats-a-jen-no-no

#NCT-WRITERS #neowritingsnet #neoculturecafe #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #renjun x reader #huang renjun x reader #nct u x reader #nct renjun x reader #nct angst #renjun angst #renjun scenarios #huang renjun scenarios #nct dream renjun x reader

[whumpasaurus101]

New Story!!!!

idk why i'm so nevouse to post this HDJHKDDH But here is my new story!!!! lmk if you wanna be tagged at all otay enjoyy!! (thank you @sourwhump for proof reading and having to put up with my typos HUDIJKHD)

c.W: disslocation / abu5ive coach / ch0king (idk whats banned and whats not UDKHD

---

Cormac brought the ball up the court, once again the team’s new tactic worked. No one stood in his way. He scored a quick layup, bringing the team up a further two points. The crowd cheered loudly and Cormac jogged backwards to the opposite key.

The other team brought the ball up and Cormac raised his hands in the air. The guy he was marking tried to dummy Cormac but this was the fifth time doing it so Cormac easily snatched the ball and scored another layup.

A timeout was called by the opposition and Cormac and the team jogged over to their coach, Laken. Some of the teammates patted Cormac on the back. Cormac could only manage a gentle smile before placing his hands on his head, heaving in breaths.

Laken had only taken Cormac off for a minute of the match. He hated when Laken did it.. But he hated losing more so…

“Keep up what we’re doing, pass the ball to Cormac. If Cormac isn't free, pass it around the key, Cormac, cut into the basket and push through to get a layup. Don't pussy out. If you drive through them, they most likely will foul, and that's then either one or two free shots. Now, get out there and make me proud.”

Cormac took one more gulp of water before standing at the top of the team, his hands up. Cormac wasn't the tallest of his team. He was about 5’7 give or take. But he was the best shooter. He didn't like that though. He believed that a team shouldn't be so dependent on one player. Basketball was a team sport.

The ball was brought up and Cormac raised his hands. When he reached in for the ball, the other guy pushed forward and- pop

Ah yes… that lovely event. Almost every game Cormac dislocated his left pointer finger. This wouldn't keep happening if Laken would let Cormac go to a hospital to get it checked out. But no. Cormac couldn't go because that would mean he wouldn't be able to play for a week or too. Which Laken didn't like the sound of.

Cormac let out a cry, gripping his hand. He looked to Laken who shook his head and pointed to the player he was marking. Cormac furrowed his eyebrows but didn't dare argue. His player pushed through him but Cormac quickly caught up and used his right hand, stealing the ball and running up the court.

This time three people were at the key, hands up. Cormac attempted a three pointer but the pain was agonizing. The other team stole the ball, ran up and scored.

Laken growled as Cormac ran by. “Laken, please, I-I cant!” Cormac pleaded. Laken huffed, shaking his head before going to the table officials, “Subs next ball.” They nodded and Cormac returned to the game.

Once the other team hit the ball out, the buzzer went and subs were called.

Cormac was clutching his hand as he walked off. “Come here,” Laken growled as he grabbed Cormac’s shirt, dragging him to the corner of the hall. “3-2-” Pop

Cormac let out a yelp but his breathing finally went back to normal. “You have a minute to get yourself together and then you can play for the last two minutes, got it?” Cormac clenched his jaw but nodded.

Laken went back to yelling at the team. Cormac retrieved an icepack from the cooler and sat on the bench beside his teammate, Rex. “You okay?” He asked, looking concerned at Cormac’s hand. “Yeah, yeah, it's grand.” Rex raised his eyebrow, “Dude, it's happening every match, you should seriously get it checked out.”

Cormac forced a smile, “Yeah.. yeah. We’ll see.”

Cormac liked Rex. He seemed like a decent lad. His southern American accent was strong and made Cormac laugh. Ever since he flew over to America, he’s heard all sorts of accents.

Another thing he's heard is “Oh! I'm like 7% Irish!!!!!” The second they heard his accent, which made him laugh.

“O’Malley, call subs,” Laken ordered. Rex gave him a sympathetic smile but Cormac forced a proper smile, “I’ll be fine.” He walked to the table officials, “Subs next ball please.” He couldn't even bandage his finger yet. The reff would notice and ask. He forced himself to flex his finger before it could get stiff.

The buzzer went off and Cormac went on for Dylan. He walked over to Mathew and whispered in his ear, “Swap, take my place and score.” Mathew nodded and ran up to the top of the key while Cormac was on the baseline, hands up.

Mathew managed to steal the ball from a poor pass. He dribbled up to the middle of the court before getting stuck. Cormac inwardly cursed before running up and called for the ball. Cormac made sure to only dribble with his right hand. “Cut!” He yelled.

Two of his teammates screened and Cormac bounce passed to Mathew who got a layup. And so that continued until the end. 3…2….1 The buzzer went off. Cormac could've collapsed from the relief. They won by eight points. They formed a line opposite each other and high-fived each other as they walked by one another.

In the changing room, Cormac taped his pointer finger to his middle finger and wrapped it down to his wrist. Laken came in. The dressing room now only consisted of Cormac, Rex, Felix and now Laken.

“O’Malley, a word.”

Cormac gulped but slowly stood up on his aching legs. He followed Laken into the coach's office. Laken closed and locked the door.

“How's the finger?”

Agony.

“I-it's fine.”

Laken chuckled, arms crossed,“Good, good… Congrats on the win too!”

Cormac awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other, “Th-thanks.” But before he could react, Laken grabbed him by the throat and pinned him to the wall, making him bang his head against the concrete wall.

Cormac gasped from the shock, his right hand flying to Laken’s grip.

“What made you think that putting Mathew in charge was a good idea??”

Cormac gasped, his head hitting the wall again. “Hm? WHY?! You know that only you should be scoring.” His grip tightened and Cormac let out a cry. “ANSWER ME!!!” Laken roared. Jesus christ he was going to kill him.

“I-I-” Cormac choked, “C-an-ant breathe!!!” Laken growled before dropping Cormac to the ground. Cormac’s hands flew up to his throat as he gasped and sputtered for air. “Answer me or I swear to god I'll dislocate your other finger.”

Cormac controlled his breathing eventually and spoke. “I w-would've missed if I had gone for tho-those shots. And Ma-Mathew is one of the best players on the team!” He slowly got to his feet, “I knew he could do it. You need to have trust in the other players too.”

Just when Cormac thought that Laken was convinced, he was harshly backhanded, “Are you telling me how to coach??” Cormac gulped, trying to ignore the sting on his cheek. “No- I-I'd never! I'm sorry.”

Laken paced the office for a moment before stopping and stepping towards Cormac’s face, “You're lucky we won, Cormac O’ Mallet. Go home. See you at training. Tomorrow. 9am. Sharp.”

---

thankie for reading!!!!!!! (✿◡‿◡)

#hnnnngg #i go hide now #basketball #sport whump #dislocation #finger whump #did i make an irish oc? #yes #why? #yes. #HEHE #Cormac #Rex #Mathew #Laken #abusive coach #new story #oop #okay #NOWWW i go hide :D