#im actually kind of proud of myself with how she came out

[rottengurlz]

some full body shots because she’s hot

#I LOVE LOVE LOVE HER SM #im actually kind of proud of myself with how she came out #just been staring at her and posing her in cas for the past 10 mins #mysims #simblr #the sims 4 #sims 4 screenshots #ts4 #sims 4 cas #ts4 cas

[private-kitty]

✨Hogwarts Legacy✨ fandom, i need your light.

Tell me if i am right into your "imagine" stuff

If i am correct, when you imagine a situation with Sebastian and Ominis, what i read is:

You always imagine Mc and Sebastian arguing and fighting and Ominis is the one who is comforting Mc.

Sebastian is swearing and Ominis is always polite.

Sebastian is a bad student who doesn't understand a thing and doesn't do his homework and Ominis is an exemplary person that says that Sebastian is an idiot all the time.

Ominis is kind and Sebastian is rough

Sebastian talk badly about others and Ominis doesn't like that

Sebastian is jealous and Ominis doesn't really care because he trusts you.

Sebastian is a dirty talker and Ominis is a sweetheart in bed

Basically, Sebastian is a red flag and Ominis a green

one

And blablabla and blablabla

Am i right ?

Well, let me introduce myself, i am the one who always see in people what other has missed and i like to establish the truth about a lot of characters. And today, my dears, you are the target.

And do not come to me like "this is just an imagine, we do what we want blablabla" because no. I am talking for everyone who doesn't feel right reading this stuff about their favourite characters because it is NOT them. We do not recognise their behaviour or their talks. Actually you CAN write what you want but keep in mind that you are writing an OC based or inspired by this or that character. It is not the actual character.

Let me tell you, at this point i am not sure anymore if we all played the same game or not.

Sebastian is a character that is introduced to our character because the teachers themselves think he is a good start to know things about the school. Little reminder that when Ominis was all by himself in Hogwarts, it was Sebastian and Anne who took him with them without any judgement about him and his family.

Teachers trust him. He is a good student, known for his good grades (being cocky # being a bad person

Ominis said a multiple times that he doesn't understand the lessons (that he must have bought a potion to pretend it was his work) he always complains when we must go to class etc etc...

Sebastian is known to be the best at dueling and we came in and beat him after all this time. Everyone is arrogant about this situation (im talking mostly about you Leander) everyone but the one concerned, Sebastian. He is proud of you, congrats you about your job. He is humble.

Ominis didn't even introduce himself that he is already talking to us with an arrogant manner about how we could never beat Sebastian as... us. Judging our capacities based on... nothing

Sebastian reads a LOT which means that he is a high cultured person. Definitely not an idiot.

Ominis sleep on the floor.

The first time we spends with Sebastian, Peeves was there and saw us which means there is a witness. Sebastian could have worse if they found out he lied but he protected us without knowing each others. He is someone that can be trusted. (Reminder that i am talking about the character’s behaviour before dark magic)

We follow a boy during his desperate era. Which means that without this situation, none of what we've been through would have happened. Everything around him, put him into a desperate, needing, scared and stressful time and with all that we are aware that he will not be into his normal behaviour. Everyone is quite abandoning the situation about Anne (no one talk about her in Hogwarts when she apparently was a student known by everyone) Touching dark magic will change him at some point. Even the scenario told us the answer when multiple times, characters like Ominis or Anne will say " do not recognise him", "he is not like usual", what's happening to him?" This is NOT Sebastian, this is the dark magic that he is using into a dark time for him that turned him into a craziness hole.

Beginning of the game : Ominis used and saw dark magic all of his childhood and use his memories to joke around to threats other students with it, pretending he can do it on them.

End of the game: it was all pretending and he is terrifying by dark magic so when his best friend finally used it, he is frightened

The only time Seb felt betrayed by us, (the one and only moment into the undercroft) let me tell you once again: he felt BETRAYED by us and he didn't even shouted at us, he didn't even pushed it too far and if you feel bad because someone tells you, you are ignorant, well... This is not a big bad word right here... and this is actually how he felt. "Your ignorance about the situation made you do something you shouldn't have" (this is his thoughts) he didn't say that to hurt you. And guess what? He even apologised with a letter after (are you telling me that in your life you never argued with anyone because you are never upset by anything ?)

The first time we had a real encounter with Ominis, he shouted at us for nothing really important and using his family to scared you. Menacing us about how he can kick us out of the school (reminder : for nothing) And NEVER apologise even after knowing MC more and why we are here.

And Anne, ladies and gentlemen. Anne. Isn't she the proof that Sebastian would do anything for the one he loves. Always there for them, to cherish and protect them. Even we he is not close to someone, he is known to be a cool guy, cocky but not mean, chill and good with magic.

Ominis is known to do harassment on some students. Always talking to them with an arrogant attitude and insulting them. One of them is so scared that he asked our MC for help.

Sebastian always complain about tense situations when people are too strict or severe. Being rough is not is nature.

Ominis is always arguing or mocking everyone. Being rough does not bother him. Perhaps not in manner but with his words for sure.

Let's not forget about "talking sh*t on people's back" or (i don't like that terms so l'm going to change it) only "talking about my private life"

Sebastian is "abused" by his uncle (way before Anne's curse and no one knows about it. Some even are shocked when they found out, Sebastian was living into a little cottage. Sebastian never talk about others or even himself.

Ominis can be found around Hogwarts chatting about how his family is awful, how he hate them and how his sisters are annoying etc etc...

I am going to stop here. Because i can go on and on and on. But it was the more crucial points. Be sure about that: i love both of them. But i love them for who they really are and who they becomes. Not for a fantasy out of nowhere.

As i said in the beginning of my text. If you want to write what you like about the characters, keep in mind that this is an OC and not an "imagine".

Love

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts #hogwarts oc #hogwarts imagine #hogwarts fanfiction #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts sebastian sallow #hogwarts boys #fanfiction #hogwarts legacy imagine #hogwarts legacy fandom

[doyoujustnotwantto]

but no like your options are soooo good i love this (and you <33)

this time may i req

So American🦅 - a quote that reminds me of u

and

message in a bottle 🧚‍♀️ - I'll write a poem (u can request a theme or I'll write one for u)

im actually so proud of you btw <33

stop it tyyy hehe

ofc

message in a bottle 🧚‍♀️ well it got pretty long and a little dark lol you give off a vibe i really wish i had idk how to explain it but you can change my state of mind to better so i wrote a situation where i think of u and it changes the way i think when I'm in my feelings staring out of my window at night. looking at city lights from a dark quiet room makes me feel sad or nostalgic lmao btw Hope u like this and it makes sense!

I search for something

The lonesome lingers somewhere but it's something i won't call them up to talk about

All I've got seems so perfect And I'm not to drawn in misery 

Too strong to cry Too weak to pour words out 

I find a star as i cry myself

I fall in love as i be the light but

Hey the dearests, The vortex of some malice made up in my head

My tears could drawn the whole world out, "didn't u know?"......

A clock's hitting twelve

Never not busy Forever dazzling

A little city by her bedroom window goes away 

why? She called you up 

You'd pick her up to take her somewhere else

So American🦅 these two and "in a world where you can be anything, be kind." Came to my mind

muah muahhh💋🏃‍♀️

#emma #<33 #mihane's 260 followers event★ ׂ . 𓆩★𓆪 ׅ

[hella1975]

i know i complain about my job but that's bc it IS a job not a hobby alas there are silver linings to it and one of those by far is how genuinely happy my work friends are to see me whenever i come back from uni. like the one girl im really close with gave me a massive hug and was fuming with me when i told her im only back for the one shift (she also tackled me to the kitchen floor and all the chefs conveniently 'didn't see anything' when i appealed for witnesses 😐) and the Bar Boys as they've come to be named like a fucked up pub boyband (we obviously have a lot of bar staff but there's a couple lads that are there most often and are also around my age and are all like. the really endearing actually sweet kind of fuckboy? strawberry guy is one of them. im not proud of myself) were all so happy to see me bc a lot of us went out together on new year's and they all get weirdly excited asking about how uni is etc and it's all very flirty but like. the jokey platonic kind yk. and the kp that's SO rude to almost all of the waitresses except her favourites literally shouted 'oi where the bloody hell have you been???' over several other people when she saw me and she's so chatty to me to the point it impacts my work lmao and i was joking with all the chefs bc im mates with a couple of them and there was a lot of 'oh god she's back' from the lads and just excited squeals of my name from the girls and strawberry guy came over to me when i was having a drink at the bar after work and tried to convince me to come in tomorrow to see him again before i go to uni even though i live miles away in the sticks and yeah. i love them lol

#like coming back to my hometown has so few positives for me #if my mum wasnt here i truly dont think id ever fucking come back unless i was DRAGGED #so that's truly why i come back. to earn money and to see my mum that's IT #and that was always the plan when i got this job like i have a very healthy respect for the difference between a job and a hobby #and before this job id never even LIKED the jobs i did i genuinely just thought it was normal to hate your job and hate your colleagues #but as much as i slag the pub off i just really really like it #i love the work i love that im good at it and i love love love the staff #like this is the first time my colleagues are also my friends and it makes such a difference #bc we go out with each other outside of work and we talk about EVERYTHING (ive said it before and ill say it again #NO ONE has gossip like the floor staff of a pub do) and we have a laugh AT work #and it's FUN it's genuinely a fun way to make money #so when im in a town that i despise where i dont feel happy or even comfortable with my hometown mates anymore #it's very easy to feel lonely and depressed and all those things ive associated with my hometown #so yeah idk. i guess im trying to explain why all those things in this post that are just very basic friendly interactions #are actually so sweet and hopeful for me in particular #hella slaves to capitalism #hella goes home

[bi-as-in-bi-bitch]

hello! how did you know you were bi?

the way I reacted whenever asami sato came on screen was in no way normal enough for me to be straight

nah but seriously:

wow, i have not thought about that in years... its actually pretty hard to pinpoint exactly when, but ill try to go over the main points:

i realized i liked girls in seventh grade, in the middle of a private religious school, while i was thinking about how pretty jenna coleman was in doctor who.

i wa sitting next to my extremely conservative best friend. and i immediately panicked and said to myself "no, we're not doing this."

i repressed myself for a while, kept saying to myself that i liked guys, only guys. i had major crushes on danny phantom and my 6th grade math teacher and this bollywood actor (hrithik roshan in dhoom again)

so i said to myself that i couldnt possibly be gay, i liked guys!

but girls were so freaking pretty. why did my heart race when a cute girl smiled at me? why was i so scared around the girl i really really wanted to be friends with? why couldnt i stop staring at my geography teacher like that?

i honest to god thought i was lying for attention. idk whose attention, its not like i told anyone i was having these feelings.

i kept it so so repressed and convinced myself i was lying to myself.

then i went to high school and met people that were pan, bi, gay. i made an instagram, a tumblr, a wattpad account for my doctor who fics, and i started to learn this whole new vocabulary on how to describe sexuality and gender preferences and whatnot.

i finally came to the realization that i am not gay, i am not straight: i'm bisexual. guys are cute. girls are cute. liking one does not diminish how much i like the other.

i was so happy to have a way to describe myself. but at the same time, i went through a phase of hating myself for liking girls. i felt like i was a weirdo when i took notice of a cute girl. it took me a while to get over it and start accepting that what i am and how i feel is not wrong, im not hurting anyone by having these feelings.

i accepted that i was bisexual when i was 15 years old.

i started coming out to my friends around tenth grade. i remember i was so nervous and my hands were clammy. i said i was bi, and they laughed and patted me on the back. i went on a walk with my best friend and she noticed the pride bracelet i had on, and asked me about it. i remember being so scared when i muttered 'i'm bisexual,' and she immediately got the biggest grin on her face and punched me in the arm (shes not good at physical affection), and told me she was so proud of me and happy that i felt safe enough to come out to her.

coming out to people at my age isnt as big as a deal to me anymore - i go to an arts college, literally every other person is some flavour of queer - but when i was growing up i didn't know that it was something that existed.

im proud of my identity and i wish i could share it with the world. i wanna hang bi flags in my room and wear pins that say 'i'm bi' on them and wear cuffed jeans and flannel shirts and carry a big sword (HUGE part of being bi). but i live in a conservative family, and ik that the older generation (my parents and their siblings) are never gonna understand me, so i cant be fully out, but that doesnt mean i cant be proud. i have stealth bi pins. i made a painting with predominantly pink, blue, and purple colours, and hung it up in my room. i own two plastic swords.

i made this sideblog mainly to rb posts that i wanted to find later, but i wanted to have something with my name on it where i could be blatant about the fact that i find men and women so goddamn attractive. hence, 'bi as in bi bitch' was made.

i wonder if this was helpful at all? i kind of went on a ramble there. is there anything you want me to elaborate on?

#asks #thanks for asking! it was nice to kinda go over those memories again #was this a good answer? i feel like i went on too long

[mylandofdarkness]

The Antagonist of My Life. My Mother.

My mother.. played a HUGE role in my life....

Now don't get me wrong.. things are better between me and her now but with my first 22 years of my life. she's given me hell. I never understood it till later that it was simply because Girls get it more rough than boys. Growing up I NEVER saw my mom lay a finger on him for anything. Instead every single thing I did.. where I was simply just a child THAT DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING... gets a bunch of beatings that she's gonna remember for the rest of her life. I remember crying so much, I remember hiding under a table, hovering in a corner while STILL getting slapped and beaten by my mother.. as I have a meltdown, I even locked myself in the bathroom for 20 minutes. My father had no role.. he wasn't able to do anything . So I'm just backed up in a corner getting hit as my father and brother sit on the side and watch. Like that's not traumatizing? for a Mother to stand there and beat and beat and beat her YOUNG child, daughter that is probably around 6-7 years old.. as she is screaming in pain from getting beaten. what kind of a mother does that. Does this child not have feelings?? Is this child suppose to not feel the pain? WHAT is this teaching the child? AS A CHILD... I was convinced she didn't want me to be happy, I was convinced she found pleasure in beating me every week, talking down on me, discouraging me, telling me all the things I liked was stupid.

So years go by.. all that abuse did something to me. it turned me into an easily agitated teenager, (Gee I wonder where I got that from). And I wasn't going to be those kids that commit suicide because of strict parents or being under pressure. So I got tired from my moms physical abuse one day when I was in mid-high school.

Her abusive hits didn't phase me anymore. Her 'discipline' wasn't going to do shit to me anymore. One Day when she raised her hand at me... I didn't cry, I looked at her dead in the eye... and just walked to my room so I didn't have to hear from her for the rest of the night. Another time where she wanted to give me a word (and a hand) I finally spoke up to her, she was hella surprised. My bro and Dad was surprised too . I said my piece, she told me I was making excuses. I told her it wasn't excuse. I wasn't going to easily back down. I wasn't going to give her that satisfaction of ME keeping quiet and crying, and having it end up being a meltdown. I wasn't going to let her be the only crazy one now. She created one... That's on her... And I want her to remember what she started and what she created.

So you see... Because of her I somehow always see the negative in most friendships I make. because I was treated so poorly when I was little, everytime I meet somebody I want to befriend, I would have higher expectations and always oversee a small negative . My mother never taught me how to treat others.. she taught me nothing but pain.

So fast forward to college.. I LIVED AWAY for college.. and it was the greatest 3 years ever. why? cause I was actually away from that toxic household and I was actually able to do what I want on my own. Met lots of cool people, partied, went out, talked to some boys, Figured myself out lots. College was done, I move back.. and yes everything was tense again. Keep in mind I went towards the Media Arts career path.. My mother thought that was a joke. So when it came to finding jobs.... she pestered me LOTS about it and it stressed me out a lot. pressured me into applying for jobs that I didn't find suited for myself. Now yes this is a different stage of my life.. They made me anxious on even finding a job. My mother made me feel like shit. This is where emotional and mental abuse comes in more. and when I finally landed a job at a well known company..

Things switched. I was suddenly the daughter they were proud of o.0 I'm the daughter that works at 'This place' WoW Im the daughter that's going to make a lot of money from this place. ...... That gave my phony vibes. Now that I'm making decent money.. your nice to me?? Now that other companies see my potential, you suddenly see it too?? Nah, you shattered my spirit for 22 years. You've emotionally and mentally brought me down almost everyday for 23 years. I'm not getting my years back.

Because of all this... a part of me resents her for how I ended up as a person. Every moment of hell she gave me, I remember it vividly.

#toxicmother #toxic parents #trauma #life lessons

[trythatagainnn]

halloween is the anniversary of my coming out at trans.

my “traniversary” as i like to call it.

this year,

itll be five years.

i was 12 years old.

i came out in middle school.

i was the only trans kid i knew of in my school.

i had no support.

my friends accepted me,

i think,

pretty quickly.

but they didnt support me.

there was no,

“im proud of you!”

or

“im happy you told me this.”

there was a lot of

“…okay”s

and sidelong glances.

i think you dont realize what that does to you

until five years later.

at the time,

i had one queer friend.

she was bi.

we dated,

whatever two 12 year olds dating looks like

(we held hands at recess).

later, she came out as a lesbian,

and i came out as gay.

its funny.

we stopped talking after eighth grade.

i dont really know why.

i have a lot of queer friends now.

all of them are, actually.

queer, i mean.

im not dating any of them.

mostly because,

after i came out as gay,

i came out as aro/ace.

thatll do it.

not that aro/ace people cant date,

or fuck,

or whatever.

i just. dont want. that.

sometimes i kind of wish i did.

i think.

i wonder what its like to really enjoy that.

but.

whatever.

anyway.

i heard someone say once that

after you come out once,

it never ends.

i think thats true.

ill never stop coming out as trans.

isnt that what im doing right now?

and ill never stop figuring out new things about myself.

also, i think maybe thats not true.

sometimes, people just know.

i dont have to tell them.

and sometimes,

when i tell people,

its not coming out.

it just is.

maybe thats what finding the right people is.

it just is.

halloween isnt really it, by the way. the anniversary.

sorry.

that wouldve been cool right?

yeah.

i lied.

i dont know when it actually is.

sometime in november, i think.

maybe december?

on halloween of 2018,

i was still a girl.

i was wearing a very large and annoying inflatable ostrich costume

(you know the type

where it makes you look like

youre riding on the ostrich’s back?).

it was a last minute buy from spirit halloween.

i got tired of it.

i took it off,

and i put on a tie

over my grey wolf t-shirt.

i put on a tie,

and i told everyone i was a man.

of course, they didnt believe me.

i think they laughed.

i felt great.

thats not when i came out.

maybe thats when i knew, though.

to be honest,

i dont care that much.

i dont get emotional on halloween,

most of the time i dont even think about it.

its more of a convenient way of keeping track

of the passage of time

than anything.

im still trans, yeah.

this year on halloween,

im still trans.

ive changed though.

ive changed

names and

ive changed

my hair and

ive changed

how i act and

how i think and

who i am and

ive changed.

five years this halloween,

thats a lot.

maybe.

maybe its not

that much at all.

in another five years,

ill be 22,

and ill still be trans.

and ill be different.

happy halloween.

happy five years.

happy passage of time.

heres a little monologue poem thing about being trans

#poetry #prose #my writing #writing #my art #art

[mykindoffairytale]

This year

This year has been an absolute nightmare, from undergoing the trenches that was KKH paeds, absolutely fearful of the coming day, to loving and being proud of myself that I actually made it. Remebered the blurry mornings, the painful history takings, my seniors slogging it out with me, kind seniors and those that hated my guts. I remembered being somewhat happy when things started becoming better, of course I loved the prerounding. Even managed a Sasha Sloan concert midway through. Then it was Taiwan, that was pretty meh but also pretty glorious.

Onto GS, where I was enjoying myself very much the first few months before everything came crumbling down, slowly but surely. Regretful actions were made but I'd generally attribute that to the wrong crowd- GS was definitely full of the absolute wrongest people. Made it to Laufey, made it to indo once again, and finally went to Uk. Saw glasgow who held my heart since I left, but going back I realised I had taken all she had to offer. Every month, mistakes were made, plenty of I wish I didnt say that till the very end. Thankful for everyone that loved me and stood by, and thankful for myself for never giving up on me.

Then very quickly it was NPL, that was spent lazing around, Jakarta, Seoul- which was greatly healing, and Bali- Labuan Bajo. The latter of which carried news Ive always dreamt of in nightmares, waking up in tears, safely forgetting the pain that I have dreamt. However, this time the pain was much to real, till now I try not to think about it, because I wish you had been kinder- especially because I had loved you so. Sadly it was towards the end, when I came home that I realised how bitter you were, and how although you provided, I was never your pride and joy. But by this time I knew how much I had laboured, and how much I had thought of/for you. Giving up quite abit of indulgence from guilt, stressing from the concept of "limited wealth" you had put in my head. No doubt I am ever thankful that you had given me a once in a lifetime experience - that was the best in my life. But at the end of it, my sadness was quickly blunted by self-preservation, I remembered your cutting words, my earnest love, your great providence and the joy of your presence. At the end, I'd call it even- not your lifetime full of contributions and the shortness of mine, but in general the positive influence you had on my life, although I wished you were more and myself slightly "less". I still miss waking you for snacks, thankful for your ever peaceful departure. Thank you for Malaysia and Glasgow.

Oh I forgot about Vietnam, the food great, the company peaceful. My alternative sister from different parents.

Oh I too forgot about Nik, who has been a steady source of comfort on work days, thankful we got to grow together, again its not about counting the gives and the takes, not about giving what you got, but a giving from what God has given to us.

The end of the year in Cardio has been the best so far, Cardio was a soft landing spot into the realm of MO ship, Ive gone to more services, exercise classes and received an exceeding amount of grace despite my underperforming ass. Im reconsidering IM because of her, but also very aware of what stands ahead. Nothing much has changed, the motion remains very much the same, fear-grace-growth, sprinkled with regret here and there.

The proposal this year was too a highlight- true love, girlhood. Definitely felt the love, and for an all too deserving couple <3

These moments of quiet reflection come less frequently, expecially with baseline "anxiety" and lack of spirituality. Thankful that pondering over money has gotten me here.

Looking forward to a better year next year, with more looking to Jesus rather than the ways of this world.

[eomma-jpeg]

Hey for the faad ask meme! 1, 2, 8, 26, 29, and 38!! Have a banger day my friend :33

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

answered here !

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

i think i haven't really truly done enemies to lovers, because at first i tried to make ITM enemies to lovers but Milly can't make enemies LOL so it had to become the "he's mean to everyone except her" trope

i think i'd love to write a fantasy au. im a SUCKER for fantasy and i uhhhh have a My Hero Academia fantasy au just in my drive that i don't think i'll ever finish but MAYBE i can get myself to write a trigun one lolol

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

okay ! this is from chapter 31 (the most recent chapter as of today) of ITM... i talk about in the meadow so much im so sorry yall

Picking at the stir fry, Meryl let out a heavy sigh and slumped onto her elbows as soon as Milly left the room, “We need to do something.” Vash’s mouth was full, “Wha’ maes yo ‘ink we ‘an do a’y’ing?” Meryl just glared at him, a hint of disgust on her brow. He swallowed, “What makes you think we can do anything?” Sighing again, “I don’t know, but I just hate seeing Milly like this. She was so excited about the planting just a few days ago and now… now she seems kind of lifeless.” Vash nodded in agreement, “She was already stressed about the reunion, which thankfully seemed to mellow out thanks to you and Knives, but something's keeping them apart,” he set his fork down, “But what are we supposed to do, Meryl? Just ask what’s wrong?” “That normally works for me. Milly doesn’t like to bundle things up, except I guess when it came to Wolfwood,” Meryl confessed, “But even then, she eventually gave in.” Vash was silent as he internalized her words. Then, he said, “It’s hard for me to do that with Knives. He’s hesitant to share with me.” “How do you know?” she questioned. “Hmm?” “Have you tried to ask?” Vash opened his mouth to answer, but he just froze. Meryl chuckled. He relaxed, “Not explicitly.”  Meryl nearly rolled her eyes, “Vash, you should try asking him. I know you two are twins and all, but that connection can only go so far before you have to actually speak to each other.” Screwing his lips in displeasure, Vash said, “I’ve spoken to him before about…” he paused again, eyes nervously passing over her, “About our shared past, but I guess that was the last time we really spoke in depth.” Meryl couldn’t deny the satisfaction that filled her as he revealed a sliver of information about himself, “Then go right now. I’ll talk to Milly, and you should actually talk to Knives.” "But, Meryl-" "No 'but's!" she said with a point of her finger, "Just do! You're normally really good at that." Vash, in a last ditch effort, pulled out those round, watery eyes, staring at her and Meryl felt her footing slip. No, she told herself, not this time. She needed him to help her get to the bottom of whatever was going on between Knives and Milly, and some silly puppy dog eyes and pouting lips were not going to get her, no matter how cute. "Just because you know those eyes have worked in the past doesn't mean they will now," and Meryl pinched his cheek with vigor. Grimacing in pain as well as he could with only one cheek, Vash said, "That doesn't make any sense, Mer." "It would if you had your head on right," she released him, and he rubbed at the skin with his palm. Then it was her turn to turn pitying eyes on him, "Please, Vash?" Meryl watched his breath hitch and she had to stop herself from smiling with smug satisfaction. Instead, she intensified her look with a soft hand on his cheek. "I know what you're doing," he said quietly, "but I'll allow it, for now," then he snuck a kiss onto the inside of her wrist and Meryl felt her ears warm. "Just-" she started, flustered, "Just go do what I asked," then she marched out of the house while Vash chuckled behind her.

i just don't write as much silly dialogue as i wish i did and i really liked this interaction. I think i'd like to play more with scenes that don't require description ? like just straight up dialogue, but I get nervous that me and the audience will get lost so i have yet to be brave enough to do that.

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

i do beta for myself ! @noaafishfieldguide my beloved squid reads my chapters before hand lol but I normally go over my own work because im Obsessive and need to make things smooth and clear and less choppy. and sometimes i need to fix things and i don't want to bother my beta to just rewrite for me lol

as a beta for others i love to just fix grammar and continuity lol I have a bad habit of reading other's works and going "oop, that sentence needs to be restructured" T-T i wonder if its the fact that i've written so many essays in my life.

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

hmmmm this is a hard one.

there is... a kacchako (bnha) fic called Don't Ask Don't Tell and it is one of my favorite fics on the internet,,, and while there is a sequel by the author i think I would love to write a lil sequel myself of adult Bakugou and Ochako as team pro heroes working together and kicking evil's butt (and maybe write some hurt/comfort bc i need it lol)

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

so i will always rave about @veilder because she leaves the best reviews on my works and they're so in depth and analytical that it makes me cry and reevaluate my own work, but my fav review from her is this one

apologies if its blurry but it made me SCREAM with laughter when i saw it in my inbox ledkjflejfelj

also ! squid (@noaafishfieldguide) has read all of in the meadow.... and knows my secrets, but here's her reaction to the final chapter so yall can be excited hehe

#also hi squid !!!!!!!!!!!! #ty for the questions theyre always fun to answer #trigun #im the meadow #fic #asks

[art-question-mark]

creators notes on each episode of belliveau so far: episode 3

very long awaited i’m sorry i got sidetracked

stef popping in after only knowing this girl for what, 30 minutes? the night before? will never not be funny

and then cut to eliza just being like “…” just makes it better shes so silly

“oh my pants” came from an autocorrect mishap i made over text and my friend and i immediately agreed it’s something stef would say so i changed the line to that. i don’t remember what he said before i changed it and honestly i don’t think anything would fit as well. also he’s british so he’s. he’s saying underwear. which is very silly

i also kind of hate the oh my pants but it became iconic so i had to keep it in

also there are certain panels (such as the oh my pants panel and the one of him with all the hearts @ lucy) that were so hilarious and iconic in the storyboards that i just traced them over to keep them forever

lucy!!!! i don’t know how to draw animals super well. which is the main reason lucy appears once in a blue moon

the backpacks man. they’re the end of me

this episode is very dialogue heavy but it sets up a good majority of the rest of the plot. a lot of things are off handle mentioned here that actually will be bigger later :))

stef: clear my name :(( also stef: this is how i’d kill a man

the crime scene file in the one panel is part of a like 10 page report that i totally filled out only to use One singular page from.

boss man and tommy :)

stef immediately including himself in the detective-ing (“i guess it’s our job …”) is so funny he’s just like :) we are a team :)

i had to use myself as a ref for eliza putting on her coat and backpack and it resulted in some silly photos and video

the backgrounds !! for the last two panels !! took ! so ! long ! but they’re SO PRETTY IM SO PROUD OF THEM!!!! i love how they turned out. also you may find something hidden in the background of the panel of stef peaking around the wall on the steps. just maybe

“it’s called a warrant!!!!” absolute icon behaviour

that’s it

read the comic please it won’t let me add the link suddenly but it’s on my other posts 😔

#why is he like this #this episode is so silly but you better pay attention to it it WILL be important later #belliveau #belliveau comic #ocs #original character #webtoon canvas #webtoons #webtoon #webtoon artist #murder mystery

[musashi]

Ooh, question dump time! I hope you don't mind these being a mix of fandom and sickfic/fanfic stuff, haha

1) I know they haven't been released yet and we just have promos to go off on, but do you have any thoughts on Scarlet & Violet so far?

2) Which of the starters is your favourite? Are you planning on using that one when you get the game?

3) What about all the other pokémon we've seen? Do any stick out to you? Do you think any of them will make it on your team?

4) I've noticed you put some Godot posts in your kin tag, so I'm curious about what he's like- what's his personality and role in the games he's in?

5) Also, the above but for Dahlia Hawthorne?

6) You've mentioned you're not particularly picky on sickfics you read, but what would you consider the Best Sickfic™? As in, what tropes, dynamics and symptoms do you enjoy the most?

7) What are some other fanfic genres you like?

8) You've spoken about making physical copies of DTE before, so do you have any other fics of yours you'd like printed out? I think it'd be fun to have a physical copy of your Sicktember fills from this month

9) If you have any for her, what pokémon does Maya have in your AU?

10) What's been your favourite Sicktember fill to write? Out of the ones you posted, do you have a specific line or description you're particularly proud of?

If you'd like me to elaborate a bit more on a specific question, I don't mind sending another ask clarifying what I mean!

OMG THESE ARE SO MEATY THANK YOU TAHNK YOU THANK YOU I DONT MIND QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING IN ANY ORDER I LOVE. TO TALK WAH THANK YOU

1) I know they haven't been released yet and we just have promos to go off on, but do you have any thoughts on Scarlet & Violet so far?

we've gotten like... a weirdly scant amount of promotional material for this game, so i actually don't have a lot of thoughts beyond the typical 'OMG POKEMON IM SO EXCITED TO PLAY POKEMON' fdghdfhgf. i can't say any of the designs have stuck out to me yet but thats also cause we just haven't seeeeeen any like even the leaks have been quiet? its so weird. but i am excited :]

2) Which of the starters is your favourite? Are you planning on using that one when you get the game?

honestly i think sprigatito is my favourite because... it reminds me of jessica dfgjkhfsghgf she loves cat pokemon and grass types and when i saw the grass kitty i was filled with so much indescribable fucking joy on her behalf i could not contain myself. i'm using fuecoco myself but grass kitty is everything to me...

3) What about all the other pokémon we've seen? Do any stick out to you? Do you think any of them will make it on your team?

nothing yet. i like the little poison fucker but not enough to bother using him.

4) I've noticed you put some Godot posts in your kin tag, so I'm curious about what he's like- what's his personality and role in the games he's in?

diego is a double-sided character~ he has two distinct "eras" of his life by his own admission. in earlier days he was mia fey's partner in law and her mentor as a defense attorney. he's very calm and collected and has a distinct kind of poeticism with words, usually incorporating motifs relating to coffee into the things he says because he's a coffee autistic who makes his own blends fdghfg. he was deeply in love with mia and her passion, in the anime dub the word he uses when he describes how he felt about her is captivated and it lives in my head rent-free. they dated for at least a little while, but diego was lethally poisoned shortly after one of their cases together and fell into a years-long coma. he survived, but mia was murdered while he was comatose.

diego came out of the coma with a major vision impairment and with his hair having gone white. when he found out that the love of his life had died while he was asleep the guilt of not having been there to protect her ran so deep that he threw nearly every trace of his prior self away. he renamed himself godot, which takes components from his first and last names diego and armando, as well as being a waiting for godot reference--mia was waiting on him, and he never showed. he switched sides to become a prosecutor and swore to ruin phoenix in court because diego could not handle blaming himself and so he forced all the anger he had onto blaming phoenix, the only other person mia really had in her immediate life.

eventually he realizes that mia poured so much of herself and her love into phoenix, and phoenix so adoringly leaned into her every word, that within phoenix lives mia's undying flame. once he sees mia's spirit living on through phoenix, he realizes what a fucking shithead he's been.

post-coma diego is pretty similar to who he was before but with a cold, simmering kind of anger that shows itself in occasional moments and especially around phoenix. also his weird poeticisms have ramped themselves up and 90% of what he says in court or otherwise is completely incomprehensible. i can't even really describe to you the way diego talks. he is basically just the "i don't sleep. i just dream." meme amped up to 11.

diego views the poisoning and coma as a death and rebirth. he refers to his surviving as crawling out of the depths of hell to get vengeance.

5) Also, the above but for Dahlia Hawthorne?

she poisoned diego.

lmao.

dahlia is a merciless, abusive, cold-hearted killer. i could go on and on about how she is, like many criminals, a neglected child from a broken family and how every single thing she's done has such clear reasoning behind it but quite frankly i have so much less to say about her. she's just a vindicative, vengeful, cruel fucking murderer who steals and lies and cheats. she sucks. she tries to poison literally everything that even slightly inconveniences her and barely succeeds, ever.

how to even summarize her... dahlia was one of two daughters of morgan fey, but their dad divorced morgan and fled the fey clan pretty much the second it was clear that morgan would never surpass or live up to the power that the main family had. he took the kids with him and he apparently sucked really hard, hard enough that dahlia fuckin SNAPPED and decided to just start fucking killing people at like age 14.

she did some of that and that's how she ran into cousin mia. mia tried exposing her shit in court but dahlia poisoned the decisive witness and he literally died on the stand. it traumatized mia and she didn’t stand trial for like almost a full year after that. to rub salt in the wound dahlia poisoned diego pretty soonafter when he was questioning her. she got away with all these crimes until mia found her tied up in another case some time later, dahlia dating one phoenix wright who was the prime suspect in a murder on his college campus. obviously she did it and tried to not only frame phoenix but poison him, too--the most she could do was coerce him into swallowing glass but he’s phoenix so he survived. .

mia managed to get dahlia for that murder but after she was executed in prison she continued to do ghost crime. namely her mother and her teamed up to possess the shit out of someone and try to kill maya, the last surviving member of the main family. mia ends up giving the most powerful fucking reason you suck speech to dahlia alongside phoenix and they fucking exorcise her spirit in one of the most glorious goddamn scenes in the whole franchise. 

dahlia sucks. she has no redeeming qualities. her story is a tragic one at its root but i revel in how shamelessly evil she is about it. a long time ago im sure i would’ve felt ashamed about being kin with her but now i mostly just use it to antagonize my phoenix & mia kinnie friends. 

6) You've mentioned you're not particularly picky on sickfics you read, but what would you consider the Best Sickfic™? As in, what tropes, dynamics and symptoms do you enjoy the most?

i actually answered this!

7) What are some other fanfic genres you like?

i’m pretty sure besides sickfic the literal only thing i read is smut. sometimes i’m in the mood for a slowburn/fluff but only rarely. i moreso read fic based on the characters featured than any genre, i tend to scroll through whole character tags until i reach the beginning.

8) You've spoken about making physical copies of DTE before, so do you have any other fics of yours you'd like printed out? I think it'd be fun to have a physical copy of your Sicktember fills from this month

oh i have a physical copy of down! the PDF’s are here.

DTE has been an undertaking because i also wanted to edit the grammar and tighten up the dialogue a little bit~ and also, its too long, so it’s split into three books. i have the first two all ready to go, just struggling to make the cover for the third dfghdf. 

i was planning on making my sicktember fills a physical book, yes!! if anyone’s interested in that i can post the PDFs here haha. haven’t worked on them yet but i plan to very soon.

9) If you have any for her, what pokémon does Maya have in your AU?

i actually haven’t touched maya or the AU in ages ghdg...... i think we were all very adamant that she inherited mia’s chikorita who is named charley though

10) What's been your favourite Sicktember fill to write? Out of the ones you posted, do you have a specific line or description you're particularly proud of?

my favourite was my day 21!!! i talk about it more in the author’s notes but i had been fixing to write it for a very long time. it’s based on true events!

i’m proud of all my writing, so i think that questions too broad for me~ i know it’s like, hip and cool to hate your art or whatever but i absolutely refuse to give my perfectionism a voice this late in life. left that behind me. 

sorry i don’t have an answer for you there! i love it all!

#wendy answers #cottagebore

[adpiratecore]

Got sent a ton of numbers from the ask game post by the ever lovely @rovah17 via pm!

So here we go!

4. What are you looking forward to?

My camping trip! My birthday is next week, so me and the Boys are driving all the way to Utah (22 hrs) to camp and hopefully dig for crystals!

5. Is there anyone that can always make you smile?

My lovely fiance and partner :)

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Absolutely. Still not over the girl i dated freshman year of highschool, genuinely thought she was an ethereal being and had full plans to marry her.

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Sure! If you dont know me. Once uget to know me my shit is obvious lol

11. Are you listening to music rn?

Nah im listening to asmr lol

12. What is something you want right now?

I want a giant minecraft creeper plush. Like. Body pillow size. (Oh my god what if there was one of those overly sexual body pillow covers but with a creeper--- i would buy that ngl. As long as it wasnt super sexual lol)

13. How do you feel right now?

Honestly? Kinda depressed. Ive been in a weird funkrecently.

15. Personality description

I dont ever post about it, but I've actually got DID (dissociative identity disorder) so that one's hard to pinpoint? But i guess the "singletsona" or the mask we put on for basically everyone we're not close with is "chaotic nerdy punk"

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone but you didnt?

Well, my partner (as mentioned above) is a fairly new relationship. Not even a month yet new. And we went to this convention together! Anime midwest! And we were sitting out by the fountain in the area where cars pull in for drop offs and deliveries. And all i could think about was "this would be a perfect area for a first kiss" but i chickened out and thoughtit was too soon and what if they get weirded out and--- they still dont know.

17. Opinion on insecurities.

So honestly? I think its good to have some insecurities. Like i think if everyone walked around thinking they were perfect all the time, there would be no growth as human beings, emotionally i mean. I have plenty of insecurities myself, BUT this reminds me of how many people ask me for fashion advice! I dress very alternatively and really adore my fashion style and ive yet to get a negative reaction from someone. Besides the point though, i once answered that question with "Wear what makes you want. If it makes you happy it looks good, and if someone's staring it means your hot." That just kinda randomly spewed out of my mouth and the person was like "wow thats kind of inspiring"

20. What is your favorite song at the moment?

Oh gosh good question!! Kind of depends on the vibe really, but the one i get most excited for and always sing along to is Flight Of The Crows by Jhariah

21. Age and birthday?

21!! 22 on july 26th :D

23. Fear(s)

That everyone secretly hates/dislikes me and is only keeping up relationships bc they want something out of me :)

25. Role model

Honestly i dont think i have a role model atm! I try not to compare myself with people, so my brain has turned that into dont try to be like anyone. If i reeeeeally had to choose though, my elementary school (?) Art teacher. He not only helped me with the first art project i was ever proud of, he also would be playing guitar as we walked into class and when he stopped and we thought he was done and started clapping, hed start playing again. He even played behind his head if i recall correctly!

27. Things i hate

I hate cringe culture. I also hate fast fashion. I also hate anything that makes fun of children for their interests.

28. I'll love you if...

My love language is touch, and i have chronic pain, THEREFORE, if you give me a massage im legally required to marry you. Before we started dating, i was making waffles for my partner and complained about my shoulders. They randomly came up and gave me a massage! They're stuck with me forever now (sorry babe i dont make the rules)

31. 3 random facts

AAAA I TELL THIS ONE TO EVERYONE! Any bees you see outside the hive (aka worker bees) are female! All the males are drones and only serve as reproduction matter. Had a (female) boss tell me "thats not true, they're called "worker" bees" n i looked at her, at her job, and was like "what are you doing right now"

Link, from legend of zelda, is canonically androgynous! He was designed to be able to connect with on a personal level, and therefore whatever gender the player wanted him to be

My initials are MEM and i have a friend who wanted me to marry someone whos last name started with E so we could hyphenate the last names and make my initials MEME

32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Mainly girls and nonbinary folk!

33. Something you want to learn

BLACKSMITHING

34. Most embarrassing moment

Idk if this is the MOST embarrassing bc memory bad but i was on my first date with my last ex, we were bowling and it was a double date with two of their friends. They get up to bowl and as theyre trying to head to the ball dispenser, i move to touch their butt as a joke (they didnt mind we were both v touchy) and they moved away right as i did so i missed and fell off the bench. They didnt even notice lol!

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

I want a farm. Not any sort of big thing, just enough acres for a few animals, a nice garden, and some bees. And maybe a blacksmith workshop.

On that farm, i want a divination shop! Just a little building with a front room for supplies and such, but the main attraction are the two back rooms. Decked out with tapestries and blankets and pretty fabric decorating the walls and ceilings, super comy couches or chairs around a beautiful table where we host readings of all sorts. Tarot, rune, bone throws, ect.

As soon as the farm starts up this one will likely be done, but to fill the time between now and then (bc farm is end goal) id love to be a theatre costume designer! Head honcho would be best, but honestly I'll take any position sewing :)

40. Favorite memory

Again, memory bad, but a good one is taking pictures of the highschool ex i thought i was gonna marry. I was in a photography class, and at the time planned on being a photographer professionally, so we ran around her neighborhood (she lived in a really nice area) and took pictures! Theres one of here where the sun speckles in and makes a bunch of "orbs" and it looks like shes surrounded by faeries.

51. Starsign

Leo sun, gemini moon, libra rising

52. Something you're talented at

I dont really think im talented at anything, but if i didnt say singing i think my friends would have me on a stake lol

53. 5 things that make me happy

Bees, stuffed animals, finishing costumes, my partners, and puppets!

55. Tumblr friends

Honestly i rlly dont have people i talk to consistently here, but id definitely say @rovah17 is one of em!! Thanks for being sweet bro :)

59. Why i joined tumblr

I was 14 and my friend i roleplayed with every single day told me i had to check this site out. Idr her reasoning, probably smth about fandoms, but ive been stuck ever since. I wish i could remember my first url lol!

That was long and i talked far too much but that was really fun to write!!!

#scouts log

[vatt-world]

hi

hello , my name is azghi

i like basebell

im practising my introduction

i leave my home in india

i fly fly fly and land in america

im very excited

my entire village has turned up

i have passport

u know im first person to fly

i have a letter

dear azghni , its wonderful place

im going to help u

u can live with us and see america

he owned a restaurant

400 east 6 th st

the world , galaxy

hey ma , dont cry

when i go america , i will write every day

i will from top from empire state , bottom from grand canyon, hollywood

i will write from cleveland

i will be rich and i will invite u

what is this

a stone

u are giving a stone

story of riverstone

i dont r

im keeping it 

i threw it away

i keep it 

it is in my pocket

i have to go 

u made it 

this is new york is a crazy place

this is my job

im manager here

im the owner

im the waiter

its such a good job

u know mr hakim were waiting at airport

they two children

samir is 10 year 

he is playing with gameboy

how am i doing 

sakina is older

dont u worry , soon u will catch on

i have no idea 

if u smile , nod u head , people love u

mr hakim is my best friend .. let me tell u something profound

any one can be rich

i just smile 

u are absoultely 

one day u are millionaire

america can u give u nothing

my dream is classical indian dancer

show me i used to dance

i used to dance 

she closed her eyes

her arms and hips

i think u should

then she told me she is going to teach me dance

i try

i put my wrists and turn my hand

im very good this

i can be dancer myself

i can do much than cook food

u bught present for me 

hello bob , business is good , dinner for 5 

very proud of him 

i understand 

time is money

what is this dress

u think are too smart

u can marry black guy,white guy

why did i can to restaurant 

so that i can proud of u 

why did i came here , it is for u

they teach u about 

i know 

its all fun and games

and then what

everything will be gone

dont speak to me in english

look what u have become

dancing is iportant but im not 

help ur mother in kitchen

sakina is getting married

its a party , there are lot of people

there is a dj playing songs

how could u leave ur stuff, u need to clean up

i give the gameboy.. give me postcard

u know what what 

my sister sent picture of ninja turtles

we were supposed to go

but my grandmother died

u know what happened happened

u know what

i had a fight

im doing that

no way 

u know what happeend

then i called upstairs

to see pics

do u remmeber

u can hold my gameboy for 5 mins

i kicked him 

its my five minutes

im not even sorry

he stole my gameboy

im not coming here

why do u hit me 

everyone is stupid

we were supposed not to

im sorry 

 come here ALI:Shut Up!—Shut Up!—I have to walk, I have to clear my head,

and I have to come back. I have to walk, I have to clear my head,

I have to come back, I have to walk, I have to clear my head, I

have to come back. I have to WALK! I have to clear my head, I

have to come— (Suddenly he looks up as if someone has opened

a door and he is staring into their face. He is visibly nervous, his

mouth is dry and his hands are sweaty.) I only have fifty dollars, I

don’t know if that’s enough or not. Oh, that’s fine, whatever you

do for fifty dollars is fine. I don’t know if I want the complete

package anyway. It’s probably safer that way, in regards to diseases and such. (Realizing his faux pas.) I’m sorry, I’m not saying

that you have any diseases. Oh no I ruined the mood. I’m sorry,

its just that I’m a Pre-Med student, so I’m always thinking about

diseases. I don’t do this kind of thing normally—NEVER!! never

before actually, I don’t know if that matters to you, but it matters

to me, and so I just thought I would share that with you. (Pulling

money out of his pocket and handing it to her.) Look, I’ll just give

you the money and you can put it over there on the dresser, or in

your— (Noticing that she put it in her underwear.) there!—This is

very unlikely for me to be in a place like this,—I’ve actually been

trying to deepen my religious faith lately. I’m a Muslim, you know.

Do you know what that is?…Yes, it’s a type of cloth. What is your

98

name?—Angel?—Really? (He laughs.) No, no, I’m sorry. I was just

thinking that that’s an ironic name for someone who does what

you do for a living.—What?—No, no, I’m sorry, I’m not a jerk. I’m

sorry that was rude, look I think you’re very attractive. In fact,

that’s even the reason I followed you in here from the street…was

because of the way you look…or at least who you look like. Well,

you see, you look amazingly like this girl Karen who sits next to

me in my Human Anatomy class, and who I cannot stop thinking

about, and earlier this evening I was trying to study for my exam

tomorrow, but I can’t seem to concentrate because I can’t stop

thinking about Karen, and then when I think about Karen all the

time, I think about my parents beating their chests when they

realize I’ve failed all my exams. So I decided to take a walk and

pray for some concentration, and that’s when I saw you, and

you—well, you look exactly like her, and you looked at me, and

you smiled, and so when you started walking I followed you, and

while I was walking up the stairs just now to this little room, I

started thinking to myself that you must be a sign…a sign from

God!! that since I’ll never be with Karen, I could be with you, and

then I could go home and be able to study, and pass my exam

and make my parents proud of me!!! (He suddenly breaks down

into tears.) I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I think I’ve made a terrible

mistake. You see I just realized that God would never, never lead

me to a place like this. I must be losing my mind. I have to study,

I have to go! I need some sleep! I have to study, I’m really sorry. I

have obviously wasted your time, I’m really sorry but I have to go.

(He leaves, there is a long pause and then he returns.) I think I

should probably just get a refund. I don’t know what your policy

is as far as refunds go. I’m sure that it doesn’t come up very

often.—What?—Uh, thank you, that’s very kind of you—Well I

think you’re very attractive yourself—No, I can’t do that actually,

No I can’t, No I really can’t—Well, because I’m engaged…or at

least “betrothed” which is actually more like…engaged!—She’s

a very nice girl, Sakina!! would you like to see a picture? I have

one,—No of course not, What I’m trying to say is that she really

is the perfect girl for me, comes from a very similar family, same

99

religion, same tradition, same values, these things are important,

you know. Besides, Karen is just a distraction. I mean, she’s

American. In the long run she would never accept Indian culture,

she would never understand the importance of an Islamic way of

life, she would probably want to have pre-marital sex which is

something that as a Muslim I could never do. I know that that

probably sounds ridiculous under the circumstances, but it’s

true!!! It’s not just a religion you know, it’s a way of life and I have

dedicated my entire spiritual life identity to the complete submission to the will of God. That’s what Islam means. So you see, I

can’t just be running around having sex (He thrust his pelvis forward unconsciously.) like a rabbit (He does it again, with more

vigour.) with every woman I am attracted to (He does it again

repeatedly with real vigour.) It would be SIN!! and that is why I

have to leave. What? What is my name? (He pauses.) AL!—

Really!—OK, OK. It’s not Al the way you are thinking of it, like

short for Alan or Alvin or something. It’s actually the short form

of a very religious name, a name I can’t even say right now, otherwise it would be a sin—I think. I probably don’t even deserve

this name.

(We begin to hear the song “No Ordinary Love.” This plays

throughout the rest of the piece.)

ALI:What are you doing?—no I really don’t think you should

…REMOVE THAT!!! (He hides behind his hands so as not to look

at her but then he slowly looks.) You want me to call you

Karen?…OK!? Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen…

[(She unbuttons his pants and begins to perform oral sex, the

rest of the lines are delivered while he is receiving a blow

job.)]

ALI:Oh, my God, this is not me, this is not my life. Oh, shit!

(Looking down.) I’m sorry, I’m trying not to swear. It’s hard, you

know, to do the right thing, you know.—I’m always asking for

forgiveness, because I believe that God understands and he is forgiving, and he knows how hard it is, to do the right thing all the

time, even when you want to, more than anything else, and if

you fail and you disappoint people, you can just try again, right?

100

And you can have the intention to try again even while you’re

failing…failing! I don’t suppose there is really any chance of me

passing this exam tomorrow. I mean, if I’m going to be punished

for this, and I’m sure I will be, that will probably be the punishment, because when you’re trying to do the right thing and make

people proud of you, Satan wants you to fail. And then you end

up being a huge disappointment. Well, if I’m not going to be a

doctor, I wonder what I will be?—Maybe I will be a bum!—And

Sakina will say, “I can’t marry him, he’s a BUM!!!” (He is getting

quite worked up at this point as he gets closer to orgasm.) And I

will say, “GOOD!!!! BECAUSE THIS BUM WOULDN’T MARRY

YOU WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!” AND HER PARENTS WILL SAY,

“HOW DARE YOU TALK TO OUR DAUGHTER LIKE THAT!!! AND

I WILL SAY I JUST DID! ! AND MY PARENTS WILL SAY, “HOW

DARE YOU TALK TO HER PARENTS LIKE THAT, YOU ARE A GREAT

DISAPPOINTMENT,” AND I WILL SAY, “MOM, DAD EAT (He

orgasms.) SHIIIT!!!!” (He falls to his knees in shock, and slowly as

if almost in slow motion he doubles over on the floor, unconsciously going into the Islamic position of prayer. After a few seconds, he regains his composure and attempts to stand and

button up his pants. Thank you Angel, I mean Kar—…I mean

Angel.

///

AZGI:ABDUL! I need two puri’s on table five! I need two lassi’s on

table six, and this lamb curry is COLD COLD, COLD! Food, Abdul,

is supposed to be HOT, HOT! Not COLD! How come you don’t

seem to understand that????? (Azgi runs to speak to one of his

tables. To first table.) I am very sorry. In all the time that I have

worked in this restaurant, food is NEVER cold, NEVER! He is heating it up right now. I will bring it out in two minutes and you just

keep enjoying your…water. (He moves to the second table.)

Hello, how are you? My name is Azgi, I will be your waiter. How

can I help you? Oh yeah, it is kind of spicy, but we have a scale.

You see, you can order how spicy you would like one, two, three,

four, five. You decide, he’ll make it.—What?—You want number

five? (Azgi is a little concerned.) Sir don’t take number five, take

number two—No, no, number two is better for you, it’s very

good, you’ll like it very much.—Please sir, don’t take number five.

Sir I am trying to save your life OK. (Getting angry.) look, look in

my eyes OK, number two is better for you. OK you think about it

I will come back OK. (He runs upstage again.) ABDUL!—Where is

my lamb curry ????

(The lamb curry seems to have appeared on the line.)

AZGI:A-ha! (He runs over to the first table with the imaginary

lamb curry. It is very hot and burns his hands.) There you go. OK?

piping hot—What happened? Why you look so sad? Not

lamb?—CHICKEN.—Oh my God!—No, no, please sit down.

95

Where you going? please don’t leave, sit down, I am very sorry,

this is a terrible mistake, I will bring out chicken in just two minutes, please don’t leave, whatever you do don’t leave. (He runs

over to second table.) OK, OK, look I tell you what, number three,

number three is plenty hot, plenty hot. You don’t need number

five. LISTEN MAN!! I AM FROM INDIA!!! and even in India

nobody asks for number five! It’s not a real thing that you can

eat, it’s just for show. I am not screaming, you are screaming!

Look, look, now your wife is crying! I didn’t make her cry, you

made her cry! OK, OK. Fine, Fine, you want five, fifteen, one hundred five!! I give you OK!

ABDUL!—- Listen on dup forty-one, I put number five, but

you don’t make it number five, you make it number two, OK?

And this lamb curry is supposed to be chicken curry—Because I

am telling you, that’s why. Because I am the boss right now OK,

Listen you give me any trouble no, I will have Mr. Hakim fire

you!!!—Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Come on, Come on Abdul (He puts

up his fists.) I will take you right now! I will kick your butt so hard

that you will be making lamb curry for the tigers in India! Oh,

yeah? Come on, Big Guy, come on, Big Guy, come on, Big Guy,

come on—

(Suddenly Azgi is faced with Abdul who grabs him by the collar.)

AZGI:—BIG GUY! I am joking, man. I am just kidding around, why

you take me so seriously?—please don’t kill me. (Turning.) Every

night I have the same dream. I am a giant tandoori chicken wearing an Armani suit. I am sitting behind the wheel of a speeding

Cadillac. I have no eyes to see, no mouth to speak and I don’t

know where I am going. Mr. Hakim, he come up to me, he say,

“Azgi, Azgi, Azgi, you have to calm down, man, he say to me, he

say “Success, Azgi, is like a mountain. From far away it is inspiring, but when you get close, you realize that it is simply made of

earth and dirt and rocks, piled one on top of the other until it

touches the sky.” Mr. Hakim, he is a smart man, but I wonder to

myself when God was building the mountain and piling the rock,

one on top of the other, was he working or playing? (He begins

96

to ponder this thought, and then suddenly he smiles and goes

over to the first table.) Hello, my name is Azgi…I am working…and playing. (He goes over to the second table.) Hello my

name is Azgi, I am working and playing…how are you ? (He goes

over and looks in the direction of Abdul, and blows him a big

kiss.) ABDUL…I love you man!!!!

(Phone rings, Azgi turns and looks at the audience.)

AZGI:Phone! (He picks up the phone.) Hello, Sakina’s Restaurant

Azgi speaking, how may I—Oh Oh Mr. Hakim? No No He is right

here, I will get him—

97

Sakina’s Restaur

//

We decided to watch a called no way home because we kept seeing its ads on youtube. We knew the trailer so well that we could say it word for word. Mark's favorite line was when the lead actor talks about his girlfriend in the movie. Mark would repeat it all the time, 

So, we went to the movie theater, hoping to see that scene . But to our disappointment, the lead actor didn't say that line at all. In fact, the whole scene we were waiting for wasn't even in the movie! We left feeling upset 

As we left,. We realized we could just go watch another movie without paying again. We felt a little bad, but we had spent a lot on snacks, so we didn't feel too guilty. Plus, we felt like we deserved to watch another movie since no way home let us down.

We ended up watching a movie  instead. It was good, and since we hadn't seen any ads for it, we weren't disappointed. 

//

i needed a car , i could rely on public transport

and all i had was 2000$ so i bought a ford car

so after few rides , it started giving problems

the transmission broke..the power steering didnt work

i couldnt find parking on campus..

Is your minivan all fixed?" Larry inquired.

"Yeah, but it cost us a pretty penny," Mark sighed.

"How much did they charge you?" Larry's eyes widened.

"$2500," Mark responded.

"$2500? You've gotta be kidding me! $2500 for a new transmission?" Larry exclaimed.

"A new what?" Mark looked puzzled, glancing at me in the backseat.

"A transmission. An automatic one. That's what you had replaced, right?" Larry clarified.

"Oh, right, yeah, a new transmission," I confirmed.

"Well, it sounds like they're pulling a fast one on you," Larry said as he dialed a number on his phone.

He called someone named Rocko, then his buddy Kurt, both of whom echoed his sentiment that we were getting ripped off. Mark nervously suggested haggling, but I pointed out that we already agreed to the price.

As we pulled into the garage, Larry insisted we stand our ground. "You tell 'em you ain't gonna be taken for a ride," he advised.

larry gets out of the car an goes in and talks to car dealer.

After a few minutes, Larry returned with a grin. "Saved you a few bucks, boys," he announced proudly.

 When we settled up, the bill had mysteriously been reduced by $500.

I still don't know what Larry said or did in that office, but his advice and charm saved us some serious cash. Now, we just hoped the new transmission would hold up.

///

There are few things that bring my father as much joy as clearance sales.

It's not so much the food that my dad loves at Denny's—he only knows three flavors anyway: salt, butter, and A-1 Steak Sauce. No, what he adores is the simplicity, the straightforwardness of the entire Denny's experience, especially the menu.

“You don’t even have to read anything,” he’d say. “You look at the pictures of the food, you pick what you want, and you point.” And that’s precisely what he does. We'd settle at a table in Denny's, he'd crack open the menu to a Moons Over My Hammy or whatever caught his fancy, and he'd point. “I want that.” Not a word more, not a word less. It's the perfect restaurant routine.

we bought couch

So, off we went, driving at a snail's pace—twenty miles per hour in a forty-five-mile-per-hour zone. The officer followed my dad quietly for a few miles before my father suddenly pulled over, even though the officer hadn't signaled with lights or sirens. I followed suit.

After the officer wrote us both tickets for having unsafe loads, he warned us not to drive with the furniture again or risk getting more tickets. Stuck on the side of the road, my dad asked if I knew anyone with a truck. That was like asking if I knew anyone at all.

///

You ever have those gym ,PE classes that make you question why you even bother showing up? . Coach McAndrew, bless her heart, she had all the enthusiasm of a cheerleader at a spelling bee.

 Coach blowing her whistle like it's her only source of oxygen. "Forward rolls, backward somersaults, cartwheels, repeat!" she says, as if we're all Olympic gymnasts in the making.

 How am I supposed to learn by watching them? It’s like telling someone to learn how to swim by watching a fish.

I muster up the courage to approach Coach. "Excuse me, I don’t know how to do any of those things. Can I please go to the library?" I ask, hoping she'd see reason. But nope, she hits me with the classic "No pain, no gain" line, like she's trying to motivate a sack of potatoes.

So, there I am, at the back of the line, watching these kids effortlessly roll, somersault, and cartwheel like it's second nature.

Finally, it's my turn. I kneel down, put the top of my head on the mat, and just pray for a miracle. But all I manage to do is roll sideways off the mat—splat—onto the wooden gym floor.

 All pain, no gain, and a side of humiliation. Can't wait for next week's adventure in awkwardness.

This is America? I’m fucking in! Big Pimpin’ was the epitome of the American dream and I needed to be part of it. I wanted to be like these larger-than-life American superheroes they called rappers. I wanted to be a pimp like Jay-Z and a gangster like 50 Cent. I made it my life’s goal to live the Big Pimpin’ lifestyle. Whenever I watched BET, I forgot I was a small foreign Chinese boy and I felt like a badass gangsta. I started imitating how the rappers walked and how they talked. I would go up to my classmates and say, “Yo what up, dog. Our geometry teacher is a bitch, homie.” I felt like my identity was being judged based on the other Asians around me instead of my own personality, my inside voice screamed, I listen to Jay-Z, motherfuckers! In high school,

thong thong thong thong thong!” This was one of the first songs I heard on American radio. It was catchy as hell, but I had no idea what a thong was. Then when I saw the music video, everything made sense.

I couldn’t rap for shit, but I wanted so badly to be part of the glamorous rap game that I’d seen on Rap City. Chris downloaded a bootleg copy of Sony’s ACID Music Studio, a beat-making software, and he started cranking out some sick beats. Then Jeremy, Phil and I would go to Chris’s mom’s apartment and record our raps on his five-dollar computer microphone. Next thing you know, we’d formed a rap group just like N.W.A. Chris’s mom’s apartment and his Dell desktop became our recording studio. We felt like the real deal and we called ourselves Syndakit. The first time I recorded at Chris’s house, he played me a beat he had just made. It sounded like a real track I’d heard on Rap City. I pulled out my notebook and I was ready to write my first rhymes, but I

I never got a record deal, but I experienced creative freedom for the first time

////

offer to buy one and get the other for half price , my father was first in line.

his ability to consume knew no bounds.his favorite was chocolate pean with extra sprinkles

when i orderd plan old chocolate icecream , he took it as an insult

they have thirty two flavors andu order chocaloate

u can get chocolate anywhere , why did we come to america

we didnt sacrifice everything come to here so u could be satisfied with plain old chocolate ice cream

i just want medium soda

get the large

u get extra large for thirty nine cents more

America was Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory and he was a ten-year-old who had won a golden ticket.

Let me tell you what is really embarrassing,” he continued. “Having only one pair of shoes, that’s embarrassing. Having to study for your exams under a street lamp because you don’t have your own room, that’s embarrassing. Hanging off the side of a train on your way to work because it’s so crowded and you can’t afford a seat, that’s embarrassing.”

Yellow highlight | Page: 57

“When will you become an American?” he continued. “Okay, pour the extra thirty-nine cents-worth into a cup and I will drink it later.”

///

I saw a job posting in the college newspaper for telemarketer and decided to interview for it. The college building was squeezed between a sandwich place and a bookstore. The guy interviewing me looked a bit like Paul Giamatti from "Billions," but there were definitely no billions to be made here.

During the interview, he asked simple questions like who had used a computer before and who knew how to use a phone, how to type basic english. I got hired and was given a script to follow.

I got hired and was given a script to follow. My job was to keep people/alumni on the line and chat about how great the university was still doing.

I was supposed to ask alumni like Milli for a hundred bucks to support the college.

but milli response was "Oh, I'm sorry, hun. I'm barely scraping by on a fixed income. I'd love to help, really, but a hundred dollars? not happening."

So, I lowered the amount to fifty dollars, but still got a no. Then I tried twenty dollars, and she agreed to make the donation.

After working for an hour, a bell rang for a break. The boss, stood on a chair and called out how much money everyone had brought in. He gave cookies to the top three earners.

Overall, it was an interesting experience, but I only worked there for a few weeks before my semester started, and I quit the telemarketing job.

//

“BE CAREFUL!” my roommate WILLIAM TOLD ME . “I am being careful!” I said, grabbing the dvd from him and totally not being careful.It wasn't contraband or illicit substances..it was dance dvd.. I was staring at it in awe, my heart pounding like crazy.

cuoristy got the better of me and I put the dvd in my vcr. And What unfolded on the screen was unlike anything I’d ever saw.

and what captivated me even more was drummer in the corner setting the rhythm and this guy was dancing to the beat in rhythm…it was beautiful…

soon i was playing drums…

//

 coach andrew, transmission,affleck movie,

, clearance sales-denny's,

/////

I needed a job. Scanning through the student paper, I found an opening in the computer lab. It seemed perfect, except for the minor detail that I knew next to nothing about computers. All I knew was that if something goes wrong, you should reboot the computer. Sure, I could switch a computer on, but i knew nothing about coding, programming, troubleshooting.

I interviewed with this quiet guy who wore glasses, named Dominick. He wore a buttoned-up shirt, light brown khakis, and Nike running sneakers. "Hi, Kunal, nice to meet you,” he said, in a soft, high-pitched voice. “I am looking for some people to be computer lab managers. What are your skills?”

“Troubleshooting, programming, Excel, PowerPoint,” I said.

“Can you give me more details?”

"Sure, I've read courses online, fixed bugs on my computer, and developed applications."

"I like you. I’m going to hire you,” he said as we shook hands. Bingo! “Given your advanced skill set, I’m going to give you a very special project.”

He turned to the computer and opened up a software program I had never seen. “The school is trying to integrate this new voice recognition software. I want you to figure it out, dissect it, and write an entire instruction manual based on what you’ve learned.”

So three days a week, four hours each shift, my job was to sit at the computer and try to figure out voice recognition software. The first day I took the job very seriously. I spoke into the microphone and compared what I said to the words that appeared on the screen: “The cat drank the cow’s milk,” I said. On-screen: "You drank the milk." I said it slowly again… "You drank the milk" again… I basically gave up on the project after a few days, and each shift I would spend fifteen minutes on voice recognition, and then would spend the rest of my time chatting.

The week passed, the instruction manual was due and it was time to face the music. I decided to write something… click the L button… etc.

“I just got an email from the university. I have some troubling news.” Shit. My scholarships. Dominick took off his glasses. “The school has decided to put a stop to the software. The license has expired.”

I said, “Whatever’s best for the university."

“Because of your hard work and commitment to this project, I’m going to promote you to lab manager of the engineering building.” He gave me a raise, bumping me up to nine dollars an hour, which was damn good money at the time. I was a good lab manager.

/////

After finishing college, I got a job as a waiter in a restaurant. But I also had to wash dishes.

Sadly, I wasn't very good at it. I was slow.

The restaurant needed clean dishes to keep running. So, even though I was slow, I had to keep going.

The owner would tell me to just keep washing.

He often came over to me at the sink, shaking his head and yelling.

He'd say, "Wash the pots first! Why are you washing the plates? We have lots of plates!"

When he got really frustrated, he'd grab the spray nozzle from me and

quickly clean a bunch of pots in just a few minutes.

I got a job as used car salesman.

Apparently, you need zero qualifications to become a used-car salesman."

The car lot manager, Larry, was a sixty-year-old car salesman and a alcoholic. I wouldnt see him for days and then he would come and sell ten Dodge Neons in a week.

I looked up to him as a top-notch car pusher.

I learnt car sales from Larry and soon i became good that i could afford HomeTown Buffet once a week.

and i know one day, if i worked hard and I'd be able to afford Red Lobster.

////

It's been three days since I lost the pool key, and now my mom is mad at me. It feels like she has a superpower that keeps her angry without a break whenever I mess up, which is why I try my best to never do anything wrong.

It's like there's a flashing neon sign on my forehead: "HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING KID WHO LOST THE POOL KEY. $50 DOWN THE DRAIN!"

I try to explain to her that Cindy and I put up twenty flyers all over, and I understand that fifty dollars is equivalent to three hundred and fifty tomans in Iran, which is a lot of money to flush down the toilet. That's what it'll feel like if we have to pay the landlady.

"Why don't you check the clothes dryer and all your pockets?" my dad suggests, im filled with hope. I search through all my clothes, inspecting the washer and dryer, even go through the vacuum cleaner bag. I c heck between the sofa cushions and manage to find twelve cents.

But still, no pool key. The following day, my dad suggests praying to Saint Anthony, claiming it always works. "Saint Anthony, you mean?" I ask.

My mom , suggests we ask Saint Anthony to come over and look for the key instead. "He's a saint, so he's been dead for a long time," I tell her. "If you think a dead man is going to help you find the key, good luck," she retorts.

but I decide to pray, and, my prayers are answered when a neighbor finds the key gives it to the apartment office.

//

communication is the key. That's the key to a relationship. That's how you build intimacy, through communication. It's very important to talk and listen to your partner so you can both grow as a unit.

but It's just talking and talking and talking. And I was listening to every word 'cause I thought, you know, there was a point. But there's no point. I should've hired an AI for her to talk to. 'Cause there were so many things I just didn't care about. "Should I move this couch or get a new one? I don't know what to do with this room. What do you think?"

It was a psychotic, babbling conveyor belt of nonsense. "I went to get my nails done, but they didn't have the polish I want.

One of the differences was, I learned this from her, raised to ask questions. You have to ask questions like, "Why? How come? How much? That much? Why should I spend that much?" And, , we don't want to ask questions 'cause we don't want any information. "Look, I didn't see nothin', I don't know nothin'.

" So the questions started driving me crazy. It was like falling asleep with a Spanish radio station on.

Why do you think we possess some mysterious knowledge we're keeping from you? We go to see a movie, she's like, "Now, who's that guy?" "Did I write this thing? I came in with you. How the hell do I know who that guy is? What do you want me to do, show up early?

So she leaves, right? It's all over.

I'm sitting in my room for two weeks straight. my roommate says

They don't want you to talk to them. They don't want you to listen to them. They want you to agree with them. And if you don't agree with them, they just keep talking and talking and talking until you do. and then they will say I'm glad we talked about it.'"

//////

When I was a kid, I had this bright yellow Yamaha YZ80 dirt bike. It was super fast, and I loved riding it around. But my mom hated it.

"Josep, you ride that thing, and I swear to God you’re going to die!" she'd yell at me. And I'd be like, "Mom, it's fine. I'm totally safe." But she wasn't having it.

"What, do you want to die? Is that it? Ha?" she'd say. And I'd respond, "No, Mom, I don't want to die." But then she'd hit me with, "Or maybe you want to kill me from worrying. Yes, that’s it—you want to kill me." And I'd just stand there like, "No, Mom, I don’t want to kill you."

But she wasn't done. "No, no, maybe it’s better if I die anyway. I go to heaven, at least I don’t have to worry anymore. Go ahead, keep riding the motorcycle." And I'd be like, "Fine. Fine! I won’t ride the motorcycle anymore!" But let's be real, I kept riding that motorcycle.

One time, a cop caught me riding the bike without headlights. He was really mad and told me to leave the bike and get in his car. I thought I was in big trouble, preparing myself for the worst—prison, electric chair, death by firing squad—whatever it was. I'm practically begging to go to jail at this point, but no dice.he took me home.

When we got to my house, my mom was freaking out because she thought I was missing. She was yelling at my sisters, too. The cop could hear everything, but he didn't seem to care. He walked me up to the door, and my mom answered, acting all polite.

But as soon as she saw me, she flipped out. She dragged me inside and slammed the door in the cop's face. That was the only time my mom ever hit me, but it wasn't physical. It was all the yelling and arguing that really hurt.

clearance sales-denny's

coach andrew

tranmission

[droodlebug]

4, 5, 13, 16

4. piece you wish got more love?

ohh all my personal favorites are always the ones that arent super beloved but im not judged by the masses, just myself. other than like my vent y art and comics that i really genuinely love As Art–especially about losing bodily function –, I'd say this one and these !!

the first one is a redraw of a drawing i did when i first got a drawing tablet and was making lin. and i actually really love drawing interiors and doing little details and i like the composition and the monochromatic color gradient. the little interaction is a really good pocket of how Lin and Teddy interact i think its cute :] and the second is like the intro screens so to speak of these 4 ocs that i love so so much but! i dont ever really expect oc art thats not attatched to any fandom to get much attention. theyre just my guys

5. how would you describe your art style?

well. its me :] ive never strove to have any specific art style, i just kind of do what i want and what i think looks good and expresses myself and my feelings in the right way. its like my brain threw up on a canvas. very neon, very intense, very unpolished. and i like it that way. its just me !

13. talk about a wip you like!

its not drawing lmao but ive been slowly working on a custom doll with a custom dress design im pretty proud of and with box braids that came out so pretty. the clothes arent done and she doesnt have a face but shes got like... a monochromatic blue sad watery Thing going on. ending up being one of the many "i am venting about being disabled" things i do hsjhs

16. how do you motivate yourself to draw?

i draw because its something i love, both in doing it and in looking at what ive made. its also a kind of release for me, in a lot of ways. i dont know that i ever have to urge motivation to come, its kind of just always there with me. I just wouldnt be myself if im not doing some kind of art regularly

#yayy yippe thank youu !!!!!! #i LOVE talking about art #even if it gets a little nebulous when it comes to me bc i dont distinct much between my own self and what i make #its like i shoot out little splatters of me to make it visible and i show it to other people sometimes #and nobody else has to like it. just me ! 💗 #asks #anon #art asks

[azulas-lightning-bolt]

I truly do not know why I am letting this see the light of day, but here.

tw: really bad art under the cut

fem mako with all my little hcs applied so she doesn't look even slightly like the original. you're welcome. I was hunched over my dad's nice drawing computer (he's an architect) for about five hours trying to figure out how to digital art on krita. this is the best I could come up with.

I kind of like this so. I'm gonna yap a bit about my 'artistic intentions'. starting off there's the qipao, which was originally going to be red/gold like the ref pic I used, but then I was like. what if I made her look even more ek. and then the qipao turned green. this was mostly just me testing out shading and stuff, and I'm honestly pretty proud of the qipao in general. it's hard to see in the finished piece, but the contrast between shaded and flat colors is actually insane. I'm not too happy with how Mako herself turned out.

however.

the hair and the makeup are my newest prized possessions. like. the eyeliner. the little hair pieces sticking up from the ears. the lipstick. the little blush. aosufhoafhosaiff. also her eyes?? I wasn't sure but I really wanted to include the central green/gold heterochromia, and this was born. and her little mole. I was giggling to myself drawing that on. I thought the purple snake tatoo on her arm would be a cool nod to some of mako's concept art w an arm tatoo and also a,, backstory,, w the triple threats,, but i didn't really like how it turned out. left it on just because.

and on the topic of her arms. I don't fucking know how to draw burn scars. help. or arms, actually, but whatever. revisiting those the arms are actually so bad but I was staring at the computer screen so long I could taste the colors. I hate anatomy and that is why I write more than I draw. and the fucking lichtenberg scars. I'm on the brink. they look so cool but my hand was cramping so goddamn bad drawing ten thousand little lines on my pixelly fucking krita canvas oh my god. though if i may i would like to direct your attention to the scars on her ear. I thought that was a neat little detail but idk.

otherwise anatomy-related I tried to give her that blocky ek build as well, although I think it came out more clunky than anything. though honestly I’m not too upset as this was a practice. I might go back another day and fix it to be slightly less terrible but. whatever.

uhhh the background was supposed to be the fire nation emblem and her name as, like, a newspaper cover or something. if my handwriting wasn't terrible, I would've written on the little boxes of subtitles like, 'captian and firebender of the up-and-coming probending team, the fire ferrets' and 'the survivors of a true rags-to-riches tale; the background of the newest probenders.' so yeah that was kind of the idea with her name in the back. also she doesn’t have her scarf because uhhh. I forgot it but we’ll just. pretend. idk. I also do not know how to draw scarves so,,, yeah.

i love her so much btw i'm really mentally ill abt her. if anyone has like art tips. please share im really new and really bad at this.

ps: she does still have the eyebrows, the pointy part is just hidden under her hair.

#mako lok #legend of korra #lok #tlok #mako tlok #fem mako #mako fanart #fem mako fanart #sigh #im genuinely so embarrassed posting this #however #it was a labor of love (an intense hyperfixation on mako) #and thus deserves to see the eyes of the public #i'm very sorry to subject you dear viewer to this #but i love her #i kinda want her in a jar on my desk tbh #<-proof of me being absolutely batshit insane #jfgahpishdfas #slug’s stuff

[ocean-anchored]

Dear future self... March 10, 24

Dang these last two weeks have flown by. I'm going to try not to make this too long, but a lot has happened. So after my last post, I had spent Friday night with Amber, we went out for sushi together to review our book club book we finished. It was a really great evening. We really hit some good topics of discussion. We had highlighted some things from the book & then expanded on it. We talked about being a perfectionist & how to help your brain out of that rhythm of negative talk. We discussed some more areas where our childhood molded us into how we thought today & we actually talked about God & religion. How being humble & grateful was such an underrated thing in this world, that it seems though that's the main thing that really gets you through, good & bad. It's kind of amazing. How being grateful really gets you through some tough times, it's probably the main thing that has gotten me through everything it has thus far with God's strength. Then we went back to Ambers and played some board games with Naythan. Saturday I spent the day cleaning up & prepping for fam to come over for early dinner. Mom, Steven & amanda came over. We had dinner & played some games, it was really good to spend time together. It really has been a long time since we've all been together. I ended up telling them that night about Coleson. I was so nervous. I had kind of worked myself up to a point of feeling like maybe I would chicken out but I prayed & just asked God that if there was a good time to share it that I would be able to. Obviously it turned out really good & their reactions were really reassuring. I think because they know that I wouldn't bring anyone up unless it was serious. I've never introduced them to someone outside of Travis, so I think they know that I'm actually proud of calling him my boyfriend. I ended up driving out to Coleson that night, even though it had blizzard all weekend. The drive wasn't too bad. When I got there, he had all the lights off & had candles on his dining table with a bouqet of flowers & a hand written letter. I just about melted. It was so special & I haven't felt that special in a really long time. Honestly, the way he treats me is just... something else. He's so respectful & honoring. I really can't even thank God enough. I read his letter which he had planned out to tell me he loves me. Never have I said I love you so quickly to someone but man have I felt it... to every degree. I didn't know you could really love someone so quickly, so deeply. If I'm honest, in the past, I've said it more so when I've been infatuated with someone or just really enjoyed them & time with them, but has it really felt like true, deep, breath taking love? No, It's definitely never compared to this before. We spent Sunday relaxing & he showed me around the farm. We went for tacos & then to a church service at 6:30pm. Again, never have I gone to church with someone I love. It was a new experience & a new feeling. Something that I've really been looking for for so long. I met his cousin Frankie, she was incredibly sweet. Went for ice cream after & then went to meet his parents before home. I was pretty nervous to meet them, not that I've had any parents not like me before but this felt different. I was a bit intimidated, I think part of me feels like maybe Im out of place here? yet it's all I've ever really dreamed of. I think I just don't feel like I'm living my own life because it's really just a dream. His parents were really sweet. His mom is hilarious & I really think that we'll get a long really great & his dad is a bit quite but I think it was good. Monday we both worked, it was nice to stay during the week to get a feel for what life would be like on a day to day, not just a weekend.

#personal #dear future self #life update #dearfutureself #CF