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yxstxrdrxxm · 7 months

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SYNOPSIS: Kazuha, a well-known tailor in Inazuma, had a spouse. It's only a shame that his spouse is known for their 'infidelity' in his eyes. [ songfic ]

TW/S: Yandere tendencies, stalking, minor and major character death/s, emotional manipulation in a way, gore, violence, fire/arson, sewing... questionable fabric, unreliable narrator, shifting POVs, dead dove: do not eat, dollification, delusional thinking, Kazuha progressively loses it till the end, beheading, oh God this fic and tws are long Im so sorry―

NOTE: During the fic, it is recommended to listen to "The Tailor of Enbizaka". It will make sense when you read through this fic :)

(also, I apologize if this took a while for me to write. I got busy and writer's block hit me :( anyways, second work and its the best boy! Though, I hope you all don't blame me for fucking him up. Also also!! This is very much a long, LONG fic— like 2k+ long, so 🫡 gl soldier, I'll see if I don't need to make this to a 2 part series)

(update: this fic took 6k words, good luck y'all, this one is a WILD ride)

In Inazuma, there is a tale that is shared by many about a crimson clad man and his lover.

The others never settled on what he looked during the day before his death, nor were they sure what his prior job was before he became a tailor. However, they always complimented him for his looks and his skill, knowing that whatever he used as his own special fabric would be tailored and taken care of well.

Even with one full of holes and tears, he is gifted with the ability to patch them up till it was brand new. In the village he lived in, he was regarded for having such a talent, and he had his shop open and full of visitors.

However, the only thing that made people question him was his behavior. Despite how mild-manner the tailor was, he often comments on how his beloved darling refused to come home and continues to cheat on him.

Many those that still lived during the time said the crimson-eyed tailor acted delusional, but just how far can those delusions go?

No one knows but the man himself... And the one who persecuted him, too.

It was that year since I've seen my beloved after the accident.

A year that, when I saw them, I've longed to see them and speak to them about our time together as a married couple.

To begin with, I am Kaedehara Kazuha, or― as the townsfolk here call me, the 'Crimson-Eyed Tailor'. Although I am highly regarded for my craftsmanship, many told me that I am odd for my adoration for my beloved maple.

Why is it that odd? I thought all married couples do this, even if some think that it feels off.

Besides that, however, my darling isn't quite aware of my... Endeavors. More specifically, their streak of getting out for hours, perhaps days and weeks, and not even coming around to speak to me.

I am bound to them by an oath when we were married: we both drank sake together under that faithful light of the moon, with only nature watching over us. However, it would seem as if they have forgotten that, and ended up cheating on me in broad daylight.

Like they had no such shame.

Alas, I am but their husband, and I can't simply get mad at my beloved spouse. I know they did no wrong, for they sometimes meet with others as an act of being 'friendly'.

So while I focused on fixing the kimono, I've began to hear something that had been passed around in the village.

Something related to my darling's little ventures.

"I have spoken to [Name] about the matters in their marriage recently," one of the ladies spoke, her voice not so soft enough to conceal who she was speaking about as I fixed the fabric in my hands.

"And from what they told me, they're getting their kimono fixed for when their lover returns home!"

I simply continued on sewing, but the lady's next words had me flinch.

"Ah, they've been married for years, aren't they? And it seems they even have their shiromuku ever since their marriage to sir Kamisato Ayato. How romantic!"

...

The blood continues to spill on my finger, with the needle that I used pricking it when I've lost focus and got too careless.

How uncouth.

From the tale shared by the folks of Narukami Island, they talked about the crimson-eyed tailor's marriage with his supposed 'spouse': an immigrant of sorts from Fontaine, traversing to Inazuma to meet with their lover.

Their relationship together is strange. From the accounts of those with prying eyes, they said that he was the only one putting an effort to their relationship, and they wished to take it slow.

However, there are those that disagreed, saying that it had been the other way around— and it was he who wished for them to slow down.

No one can decide what the tailor had done, for they can't even tell if his desires were to rush or to slow down. But what can be confirmed is one thing everyone kept saying.

He doesn't like his trust being broken.

It had been days after hearing what I did.

I hadn't seen my dearest beloved in those days, and the day I saw them had been when the heir of the Kamisato clan had returned.

I had been busy as ever in sewing till I realized that I'm running out of thread. I don't have any spares, and I'm well aware that there are a few shops that sell supplies for sewing.

And so, on a lazy afternoon, I've got out of my shop in the hopes that I can catch the store to buy the supplies I needed.

The soft sound of wood hitting the pavement greeted my ears, alongside hushed murmuring and discussing with the commonfolk. I greeted a few that noticed me in passing, but they were swift to return to the people they were speaking to prior.

It was a mundane thing, really. But it was the type that felt familiar.

Turning a few corners, I managed to locate the shop I was looking for. Walking up the stairs, I waved at the lady taking care of the store—

—not before my ears perked up at the soft chattering in the distance.

My eyes trailed over to the source, and then, I see them.

My beloved maple.

I saw that they were conversing with the heir of the Kamisato clan, his hand reaching over to hand them a small gift: a small box, with the ribbon being the color of purple. I spot the gleam of gold on top of the ribbon, which eludes me to think that it is the insigna of the clan crested in gold.

How tacky.

I had to hold back the urge to stop them as their conversation was hard to discern, my focus back on the woman running the shop with the supplies I require.

"Hello, madame," I greeted, making the woman smile and nod in greeting as well. "Do you need fabric again, Kaedehara?"

I chuckled, but it was only to mask the bits of instability in my voice.

"Oh, not fabric, madame. I simply desire thread. I have ran out of red and black, and I didn't want to delay the commission I had from monsieur Lyney. Do you have any right now?"

"Red and black thread, hm? I can check at the back. Please give me a moment to look."

With a bow, the seamstress turned around to leave. With that, I let go of the breath I held and turned my gaze back to the bridge, just a few ways away from where my beloved sunset was at.

Watching the two figures, I couldn't help but simply stared at the attire that the heir wore.

Montsuki Haori Hakama: that usually means black or gray. I've known that colored kimonos were not worn with this in mind, and he certainly didn't wore anything that would be too straining.

Still, that shade of black is made of high quality. I'm not surprised if he wore it so rarely, as though to preserve the detail and its intricate work from his very own seamstress.

...

I wonder if I can take it?

Watching the two descend from the bridge, my eyes wandered back to the lady as she returned with the spools of thread, all varying in degrees of color and quality.

"Here you are, Kaedehara! These are the best I can find that fit the colors you asked for."

My eyes twinkled as I took the spools to my hands, my fingers turning and nudging the thread to see just how strong it is.

Interesting. Good quality, too... Maybe I can use this to finish that outfit I've been saving for a while.

"Thank you, madame," I thanked her, making her laugh. "Oh, it's not a problem, Kaedehara! You've done so much for this little town of ours, this is but a simple thing to repay for your efforts!"

With a nod, I paid the seamstress and turned back down to descend from the bustling upper part of the town, the sight of what happened in the bridge a bit further away bothering me from within.

No matter, Kazuha, I mused, carrying the items I required as I felt myself walk back home. Even if you want to get rid of him, it will be much too complicated. You simply need to be patient and wait till the opportunity comes.

...

Although, whoever made his clothes... I wonder if I can speak to them to inquire about their techniques.

The first case that started this was a cold one.

One that is related to a person no one knew so highly about, be it by their background, appearance, and even their name. All they were known for is being the 'tailor' for one of the clans.

There had been a lack of evidence and information about this due to how many tailors had been requested all across Inazuma at the time. It was understandable that people chalked up to them being missing as nothing more than an unfortunate case, not one worthy of being dug into.

Others had suspected that it had been associated with something else, that something (or someone) had done this deliberately. There was no evidence to this, but their claims were loud as they were bold, making it difficult to ascertain its authenticity.

However, the masses have all agreed that this was a normal occurrence. It was not one worth noting, because there had been a lot more that spoke of the same tale, always eluding to their fate being that they were murdered.

It was, unfortunately, the 'norm' of the village in the legend. A norm that, if the people of Inazuma heard it today, would have turned their heads in disgust for how abhorrent it sounds.

Still, many remained curious of the biggest what if that seem to echo in their mind.

Was the tailor associated with his sins?

The Kamisato clan has had it's ups and downs, and it isn't strange to see that they were seeking out talented tailors and workers to work under them.

What was surprising (to everyone), however, was that the head of the clan hired me to work as the Kamisato Clan's personal tailor.

The reasoning behind it was quite simple, especially with what the heir spoke to me when he and I met in the morning when I was to be summoned in the estate— due to his personal tailor (a family friend, he said) going missing for days, they were unable to track down his whereabouts and presumed that he has gone missing.

I was only hired as a "replacement" for the clan's special tailor till then, and he made it extremely clear that there was nothing else to it. Nothing that would spell the fact that I will permanently stay in that position.

Of course, to many, this may sound as an odd deal. There are so many tailors such as myself that would die to be consulted on, to work as the head of the clan's seamstress and work for their outfits. And perhaps, in their naivety, they may consider it as their efforts finally paying off in some way.

However, I have been in a clan myself before. This is nothing more if not a business deal.

A deal between one rising clan, and one whose surname has lost it's widely known heritage.

This only benefits the Kamisato Clan in the effort to save face. To save face of the potential backlash they'll deal with should any information of the missing clan's tailor be brought to light to everyone who remain blissfully ignorant of the innerworkings of the clan.

I would normally deny this kind of offer, mostly because there is no benefit for me to join and work for them. However, times have changed, and I simply reconsidered denying Kamisato Ayato's offer.

... There is a few benefits to me joining. It may be minimal, but it is better than scrounging around in the dark.

And so, I agreed to the offer.

The arrangements set for me to move was quite swift. I'm aware that that he is a man of his word, so it was quite easy for us to prepare my living arrangements and move to the estate.

With the supplies I get from the clan, it's been easy to stay put and gather information to the person I'm targeting.

... That was, until that day came.

I remember it clearly: it was the ends of fall, where the maple leaves fell more and more around the estate's grounds. This usually signified the coming of winter, so I usually savor the season by having time off to admire the scenery.

And in one of my walks, I had travelled from outside of the estate to see if things have changed.

Which, to my luck, I've encountered my darling beloved.

But just like last time, they were not alone.

In the journey of my wandering, I have seen them speak to the sibling of the older heir, Kamisato Ayaka, as they sit on the table outside of the Komore Teahouse.

From how far I am to the entrance of the teahouse, it gives me enough space to watch them interact like friends. The way that the Himegimi raised her fan to cover her face, perhaps from her eyes crinkling in amusement from what they told her...

... It was intriguing. Very intriguing.

So much so that I've felt the claws of envy grip in my chest, clutching its metal nails and making punctures on my already bleeding heart.

What a nuisance. Must you hurt me like this, darling?

I can hardly remember what happened after that. After all, my focus had been set on the two speaking to each other like they were simply companions, unknowing of what fate may bring upon them.

...

"Oh? Kazuha! I didn't notice you came to the Teahouse as well!"

My attention was swiftly pulled away from the sight of my dearest gem, and it landed on the familiar sight of olive eyes. From the appearance alone, many wouldn't think that an immigrant of Mondstadt would be a fixer.

Not even I would be able to see it happen.

However, this man had the skills to prove of his worth— after all, being Inazuma's 'fixer', he's often the go-to man to fix any and every problem that the Narukami Island and others may face.

Which makes him a glass canon— one that is volatile and unpredictable, even under the guise of a friendly face.

That is what Thoma is.

But this "glass cannon" has his weakness, and I know how to use it to my advantage.

Letting a smile slip to my lips, I chuckled, raising my hand to cover my mouth. "Well, I've been foretold by others about Komore Teahouse and it's history. I've been meaning to visit it, but I'm so busy fixing kimonos and making them to have time to spare."

A white lie, but then again, there are many of those that have been foretold in the waking of this world.

What does adding one do at this point? I'm already damned by the heavens the day I've seen the 'truth' of this fate of mine.

Just one lie wouldn't hurt, right?

"Haha, I can't blame you," the taller blonde seem to answer my query with his own, albeit he did seem to look more like he was at ease. Still, I needed to be weary; he can change sides if he so much as sensed that something is wrong.

"After all, with what the missing tailor in the clan circulating around the others in the estate, I'm even surprised that you manage to fill up in their position for months!"

... Oh? So he's noticed my talents, hm?

I shook my head.

"Oh, please. I'm just a humble tailor, Thoma," I reasoned, letting out a heavy sigh. "I have thought of asking them for advice on how they do their work, but since they're missing, all I can do is substitute for their absence."

He gave me an apologetic smile and nodded.

"That is true... I guess I'm just a bit too ecstatic to finally have someone that can fill in their role seamlessly. Lord Kamisato Ayato would've been panicking if we didn't have a replacement soon for his anniversary with his spouse."

... Spouse, huh?

"Hm... Is that so?"

I frowned in thought as I ponder over wanting to... Ask him for a favor. Sure, this one wouldn't do well on one's conscious mind if they knew, but it was simply for their sake.

It was all for them. I knew that.

It wouldn't hurt anyone if I asked Thoma to do this for me. At least, while I still have the chance to do so.

I can only hope the cannon does not think of shooting it's shot to me if I slipped up.

"Speaking of, Thoma, may I ask you for a favor?"

After the first missing case of the tailor, there had been more that were reported. The victims were all varied in their appearance, age, and even from where they used to live, be it in Narukami Island or even outside of Inazuma itself.

It was difficult to tell how many there were exactly, especially with how the legend is interpreted. Some said it was 20, while others said it was 50. This legend has been passed mouth to mouth, so details were not a key figure for a few to remember well.

However, every iteration has the same detail. The victims all had the same similarity as the tailor that simply went "missing".

All of them, in some way, were associated with certain individuals— one of them being his maple, where a few commented that they were the apple of the crimson man's eye.

From the legend and how it has been told, it is safe to assume that the motive was obvious from the first missing case.

It is akin of an open secret, if said secret was twisted to fit his ideals.

"Haven't you heard?"

"What? What is it?"

"The fixer, Thoma… He went missing just few days ago."

"What!?"

…

Ah, so he went missing like the others?

My ears had perked up at the news that we were told. Although Thoma is one many people never thought of being a 'target', the fact he went missing is... Odd.

"Perhaps he had done something," I heard one of the servants whisper amongst themselves, looking rather cautious. "After all, he's been very privy on a few things..."

"Yes, but he isn't the person I'd expect to vanish like that—"

"Shh—! People are going to hear you, you know! Keep it down!"

Hearing their footsteps echo as they take their leave, I turned back to what I have been working on. The sight of the kimono graced my vision as I raised the needle.

I began to sew the tears on it, letting out a soft hum while I fixed the black fabric from it's horrible state.

Slip, stitch, cut, sew.

Slip, stitch, cut—

"Sir Kaedehara? Someone is looking for you."

...!

I felt the needle prick my finger, but I didn't say anything. With a quiet hum, I raised my head to see someone speak to me, their face grim as they shifted on their feet.

Ah.

Despite the feeling of blood pour onto the fabric, I smiled and nodded, putting down the fabric of the kimono I was fixing.

"I'll be right there. Please tell them to wait for me."

"Really? Oh, thank Archons. I'll get going."

Watching them take their leave, my eyes flit over to my scissors.

Still as sharp as ever, I mused, pushing myself to stand up before fixing my attire. Mayhaps today won't need it to be sharpened.

For now, I had to see what the client wants from me. It would simply be a shame if I leave them alone for far, far too long.

Mayhaps they're here to inquire about the kimono I made. I made sure to add my personal touch to it.

...

As I walked to where my client sought to look for me, I see a familiar sight befell in the grounds of the Kamisato Estate.

The himegimi is currently speaking to my betrothed like they are close companions, and the magician (Lyney was his name, I recall), had been listening to their discussion at hand.

His eyes seem to lit up when he saw me, offering me a welcoming grin.

"You must be the tailor that my sister assigned, aren't you?" he asked when I was close enough to hear him, making me chuckle. Taking a seat across, I simply nodded, keeping my professional smile and demeanor in fear of offending him.

"Indeed, I am that tailor. My name is Kaedehara Kazuha, it is a pleasure to meet you."

"Haha, please, the pleasure is all mine!"

The magician shook my hand with mine, and the meeting went as smoothly as one may expect. Although, I couldn't help but let my eyes wander sometimes to where my lover is.

You were speaking to Ayaka like she's a friend of yours. I shan't stop you, darling, but perhaps you aren't aware of the pain you put me through.

Still, I couldn't afford to raise my voice, nor can I think of hurting you with my actions.

How unfortunate. Mayhaps I need to teach you a lesson myself, my angel.

If there was one thing that the legend failed to elaborate, it is the state of the missing people. However, there were... Creative liberties to those that began to see if the legend was true; or, pray tell, associated with any real life events.

To the eyes of others, going missing is a serious deal. It sparks a lot of ideas for what could've happened to them, and especially if they are alive or dead.

Albeit many shrugged off the prior cases, this one was serious. After all, the one that went 'missing' is the fixer of Narukami Island— Thoma, the immigrant in the nation of lightning.

It is, after all, what sparked the eventual downfall of the crimson-eyed tailor and his beloved. Many had thought this was the turning point, but those that did were found to be wrong.

This, after all, was simply the beginning of such downfall. But it wasn't to his lover, the missing residents, or even his companions.

It was to himself, when he used the blades to commit a sin undeserving of forgiveness.

The news that brought upon the missing Himegimi greeted the Kamisato estate that day.

I remember how people were in a disarray. They were much more shaken as they tried to get any sort of lead to where she is, and for some, they were already thinking of quitting.

The estate is already shaken from when Thoma went missing, but now that the young heiress has up and disappeared— especially in winter— it was in chaos.

While I sew the kimonos handed to me, there was an obi that laid on the pile by my right. It was a bit worn, but it can still be saved.

I needed to fix it, and give it my own personal touch. That way, it wouldn't look as though it had been abandoned by it's past owner.

Alas, the noise is getting to me. I could feel the silk resting on my bandaged hand slip every once in a while, if it weren't for how tight I've been holding the fabric.

Slip, stitch, cut, sew.

I needed to put my focus on what I'm doing. I needed to focus on the job.

Slip, stitch, cut, sew.

I mustn't let blood nor dirt stain my creations.

That is what my mother taught me.

Slip, stitch, cut, sew.

Slip, stitch, cut, se—

"I apologize if the estate is in a disarray, detective," I hear a familiar voice speak amongst the hushed and panicked whispers. "The estate hasn't been the same ever since my retainer and my younger sibling had gone missing."

"Oh, it's alright! I'm sure this matter is too serious for you and the others to keep things organized."

"Haha... You can say that it is. Now, it's just right this way..."

... A detective is in the estate. How curious.

It wasn't right to snoop, but I was curious. Curious enough to have finished the kimono I was fixing before I stood to leave my quarters.

The others paid no heed as I followed after the two to Ayato's room, too focused to do what they were assigned to even bat an eye when I got close to where they were heading.

It was only when they were inside that I've stopped and simply bid my time, my focus set on what was happening by the shoji leading to his office. And it didn't took long till I hear things from the other side.

"Ah, so you think that someone is out for you?"

"Yes. Although I am normally adept in figuring out who it could be that's causing this to happen, I can't put heads or tails with how their presence eludes me."

"Man alive... And you said that it started when they went missing?"

"... Yes, detective."

"I see... Man alive, that sounds like it wasn't just a single, one-off case, then. I can help you, but this will take a while if there's no leads."

"I see. It's fine, detective. I'll pay you enough when you figure out where my retainer and sister are. I could hardly think that someone would take them without such consequence."

"Oh, no worries. With me around, no criminal will get out unscathed— I'll make sure to bring them here when I figure out who did this."

...

I see.

Perhaps its about time I have to settle this with him.

There was a time where I have thought that things will change.

Where these cases will be laid forgotten, perhaps even unresolved with the lack of hints.

I spent weeks on end, keeping my tracks short and erasing any leads that can lead towards me again.

I spent so, so long trying so desperately to hide anything resembling my crimes.

But alas... He found me.

It was the time where I had to dispose of those bodies. Although I had no heart to bury them under nature, I was not above treating them as though they were simply people.

Even in death, I wanted to make them feel like they look peaceful. Although, perhaps simply sewing their wounds left by my scissors was not something I can treat.

In the middle of the night, I was carrying the Himegimi outside of the abandoned houses I tend to with her retainer, Thoma. I had thought of letting her rest someplace else. Her attire has been sullied, and I needed to keep the two somewhere where no one can find them.

Corpses rot over time, and if it was possible, letting them turn to nothing in the likes of Tsurumi Island will be enough for my weary heart to rest.

With how adept I am of keeping my tracks hidden, I had thought no one would be able to tail on me. But alas, due to the missing cases I've caused, perhaps I wasn't expecting this to happen.

"I knew you'd be here, Kaedehara Kazuha."

I simply paused upon hearing his voice, my head craning back to see that it was Ayato. Despite how composed he looks, I can tell that the nights he spent trying to search for his beloved sibling and retainer wore him down.

His once flawless appearance was nothing but sullied, his attire feeling like its simply hanging off of him, and the way he staggered while looking at me without a shred of restrain is new. Raw for such a heir.

"And that body..." he murmured, his eyes glaring daggers when he found out who it was.

Perhaps it's her dress that makes her recognizable. Or the hair.

"... I thought I've erased everything that can lead back to me," I spoke, sighing as I placed Ayaka's body down. "What a shame. I was quite close to erasing any traces and signs of their whereabouts. It would be nice to only have them be marked as 'missing', not dead."

"So... You admit to it, then?" the heir asked, walking over with stride. "That you have done this, Kaedehara?"

I simply said nothing.

And I knew that was enough of a confirmation for him.

"I knew something was wrong with you," I heard him speak, which caught my attention. Turning my body to finally face him, I watched as he scoffed and continued, "After all, a man as serene as you often had the worst to hide."

"Oh? How curious. Why would you say that?"

I saw his lips curl to a smile.

"Why, I had someone tail after you," he answered, his tone sounding so blunt and his demeanor became more like he's simply 'teaching' me something. "Someone that is associated with the clan. I'm sure you know who it is."

... How uncouth.

"I see... And you confronted me now? For what?"

"A duel."

He unsheathed his blade, and raised it towards my direction.

"I do not usually participate in these, but I'd like to honor your tradition. If I win, you turn yourself in to the Tenryou Commission. Confess all of your crimes, and we shall call it even."

"... Very well."

I raised my own blade, as a sign to his own.

"I needn't state my own terms if I lose, as I can't let you get out alive. Now, let us settle this matter... To each of our graves."

Usually, such details cannot be recreated from interpretation alone.

However, this one was the few exceptions to it's inevitable fate due to it's popularity.

The legend had focused on keeping the existence and ties of the Crimson-Eyed Tailor up for the listener's interpretation. This scene, however, was directly associated to a case that had been tackled many years ago.

The case went as such: each resident of a town goes missing each week. No one knows when it happens, as the day is often random. The victims of these disappearances are also random, so no one could derive from it being a 'pattern'.

No matter how young or old one is, their gender, their living conditions, and even their past... When they least expect it, they simply vanish. Erased.

The only times where the victim was found, several eye-witnesses had different iterations. Some said that the bodies were buried, while others found it floating by riverbanks and the side of the sea.

But the most common— and widely known, of course— was that each victim were made to a doll.

Their limbs were nothing if not sewn with thread, cuts of various degrees being patched with thread of similar color to 'mask' it's oddity. Their eyes were closed, but those that were unfortunate to open it were only greeted with it being turned to the back of their heads.

In some victims, several pieces of their possession were taken. However, most kept theirs on their person, and were seen to not be tampered with.

No one knows what drove someone to this degree. No one can even comprehend such a fact that it was entirely possible.

But to someone who's mind was twisted to the point of no return... It was.

This case had a name, but every resident of Inazuma refused to speak of it. Each time one does, they were told of the legend behind this case.

They were told of the Crimson-Eyed Tailor, and they were warned of one thing.

"Do not look at him or his betrothed. If you do, you're as good as dead."

...

It had been a year since our fight happened.

I remember the chaos that occurred back when I finally erased that man. Although it did left his body in an undesirable state, I still fixed and sew him up so that he didn't look as such.

Even in death, I wish to give the heir some form of dignity. That, in some way, I wish to give him his final respects.

After all, he had simply misunderstood my intentions. He didn't knew that I was out for one person from the very beginning.

The downfall of the Kamisato Clan was imminent at that point. I've seen many flee, and witnessed the tragedy befall on the Narukami Island. Many of the people I've met had simply ran off to seek refuge, the terror grasping and choking them like they were unable to think.

However, I remain clear. And I simply continued to do my work diligently.

I have been working on something... Special. And with one last snip of my bloodied scissors, it was now complete.

My final and life-long work, all laid across and now in my hands. The fabric I chose was rather difficult to sew. I should have known that human skin would be too hard, depending on where I retrieved it from.

Dying it in black, I wrapped the obi that had been sewn with the use of the Himegimi's locks, and retrieved the crest of the Kamisato Clan. Adorning it on my person, I viewed myself at the mirror to see my handiwork.

"Finally," I murmured, feeling an odd sensation in my chest as I wore the fruits of my labor. "It is now complete."

With the chaos guiding me and masking my presence, I fled to head by the mountain.

I knew where you were bound to go.

I knew of your crimes long before you knew me.

I didn't paid much attention if anyone saw me. I didn't care if blood simply poured from my attire and to the ground that I'm walking on. I could hardly give a damn if some realized of my crimes in that blasted estate.

I had my scissors with me, and I only wish to fulfill my last wish before I leave this cursed world.

You murdered my family, [Name].

You were the one who caused that fire all those years ago.

I remember those burns you gave me. I remember just how much of a coward you were, fleeing from the scene you caused yourself.

How could I lose everything? And how can you keep your family?

No. No, that mustn't happen. I must set this right.

As your 'lover', I'll make sure you understand what you did wrong.

The culprit of the legend was caught, at least by the end.

All of the townsfolk had banded over to help the detective figure out who had caused such a stir, and it was only because of one eye-witness that said everything. That simply told the truth of the man behind it all.

It was the Crimson-Eyed Tailor, the one who was gripped with envy, that caused such a massacre to occur.

When they found what became of the last victim, his 'lover', they became a doll of his own. After killing them, the legend proceeded to speak of how he had simply 'sown' their skin alongside his, making them his perfect beloved doll.

One of the iterations even mentioned that his unnamed lover was in a Shiromuku outfit, eyes gouged so they may "never look at another man". At least, from what the tale has concluded.

Because of the severity of his crime, the tailor was sent to be on his death row. When the detective tried to get information out of him, they found out that he has lost his mind.

He became a shell of the brilliant man they knew, laughing and speaking that he has finally fulfilled his desire.

Even when he was dragged onto the guillotine, that day was marked as the end of the massacre, and those who were alive spoke of the man's chilling laughter up until his head was cut off.

...

And that was the end of the "Crimson-Eyed Tailor" and his legend.

Or, more accurately, the history of the known "Dead Man's Heart" case, and how Kaedehara Kazuha murdered the one he "loved" for revenge.

@.throw-letter-away | do not republish or repost my works anywhere | 2023

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biggestsimponhere · 1 year

Text

My beloved @kib-ble wanted a Joel bodyguard au so that’s what they’re gonna get.

Bodyguard!Joel miller x Famous!Reader AU, im sorry i couldn’t help but put a little angst between joel and ellie. it’s in my blood to make things sad. I’m also giving you famous friends from our world so don’t mind that. If you’re mad about being friends with them, idk, cry about it. (They aren’t bad people btw, just celebs i follow) I’m making you friends with the cast of the rookie. i don’t pay that much attention to celebrities but i like the rookie.

Warnings - TW! Sexual harassment/Assault (Someone grabs your ass unasked for but don’t worry joel will put him in his place) This is not tlou cannon it just has tlou characters if you don’t like it don’t read :) there are no zombies! TLOU CANNON LEVEL VIOLENCE (its really just a fist fight but yk) Sarah’s here too idgaf if she and ellie couldn’t be at the same time, don’t ask about ellie’s parents (fatal car accident 😔) (THIS IS WAY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OR INTENDED IT TO BE PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE OR IF YOU LIKE IT)

“You know you’re not meant to run away from the person protecting you?” A voice interrupted your silence. Not just any voice. His voice. “Well i wouldn’t have to run away if i could have five minutes to myself, miller” You replied standing up. “You know it’s for your safety right? We’re not just here to bother you” He said walking over to you. “Oh trust me i know, you only remind me everyday” You said rolling your eyes. “How did you even find me anyways?” You continued turning to him. “You’re not that hard to find princess” He remarked moving closer to you. “Come on, you’ve got a dinner to get to, and some creep was lurking out there with his camera” He said sliding his hand into yours to pull you out of the room you’d hidden away in.

“Why do I even have to go to this thing anyways” You said smiling at the feeling of his hand in yours. “Because it’s important, at least that’s what your manager said” He said continuing down the hall. “Stop here” He said letting go of your hand to grab the door. Your hand felt slightly colder without his warmth but you just shook it off. “Okay, no one’s there, move, quickly” He said ushering you out the door. Walking out the door you practically ran to the car with Joel trailing close behind. Once you were safely in the car Joel told the driver where to go. “So why do you spend all your time following me around, I mean i know it’s your job, but you hardly ever switch someone” You said turning to him.

He’s been your bodyguard for years and always seems to be around. “Well it’s my job like you said, and I only have one person to get back to” He said smiling slightly. Feeling a little dejected thinking he had a girlfriend you asked who. “Ellie. I’m like her guardian or whatever, I raised her, she lives with me in a small town, but she’s grown now, doesn’t need me hovering around her” He said looking out the window. “I’m sure she’ll always need you” You said smiling at him. “Yeah, i guess, but she spends a whole lot more time with her friends than she does me. I mean we don’t even go on walks anymore. It’s just ‘Bye Joel i’m going out with Dina and Jesse’. It’s like she doesn’t need me” He said a little dejectedly.

“Well she’s a teenager right? She needs her space and I’m sure if you just asked you could spend more time together” You said reaching over to pat his knee. You were about to remove your hand when he put his over yours and held it there. “Yeah i’m sure you’re right” He said smiling at you. That was a rarity. Joel Miller barely ever smiles so you feel pretty special when he throws one your way. After that the conversation died out but you still had your hand on his knee and his was still over yours. As the car rolled to a stop he looked down remembering your hand was there and he quickly removed his. He stepped out of the car and walked to your side to open the door.

“Miss y/l/n” He said grabbing your hand to help you out of the car. Much more professional than you two had been five minutes ago. There were photographers everywhere. They all kept shouting at you to look at them and you did your best to keep up. Eventually someone came outside and ushered you and Joel and your other guard Andrew inside. Once you were inside you were led to a table full of people you either knew or recognized. “Ahh y/n, you’re here!” Melissa cheered. “That i am!” You replied hugging here. “We wondered when we were gonna see you again.” Eric said smiling at you. You slid into your seat between the two and continued talking to all of them.

“Is he gonna keep staring at us like that?” Mekia asked looking over your shoulder. You turned around to see Joel glaring at the table but softening a bit when he caught your eye. You smiled at him and then turned back, “Joel’s always like that, but he won’t do anything unless one of you tries something” You said laughing. “He doesn’t seem like he’s always like that considering he smiled after you turned away” Nathan said raising an eyebrow at you. “Now he’s right back to glaring” Mekia said laughing. Soon the food arrived and you started eating. The whole point of this event was to make friends with other actors and actresses, but really mostly people just stuck by people they already knew.

“Are you gonna come dance with us?” Alyssa said after you’d all finished eating. “I suppose” You said pretending to be reluctant but smiling anyways. “Come on they opened the bar!” Melissa said grabbing your hand. “Well i’ll never say no to free alcohol” You said letting her pull you. After a few drinks (more like 5) you were still dancing with your friends. “Hey pretty lady” Some guy whispered in your ear as he came up behind you. This immediately caught Joel’s eye but he didn’t want to step in until it was a problem. Everything was fine, until it wasn’t. You had just silently moved away but he followed you. Once he grabbed your ass you pushed him away.

He stumbled back into a few people but came back almost immediately after he moved forward Joel was by your side. “I suggest you take a few steps back” He said pulling you behind him. “What’re you gonna do old man” The man said challenging him. Joel walked you back a little before swinging at the man. He stumbled back into the people behind him who took this opportunity to flee the dance floor leaving you, joel and the man standing in it. The man quickly threw a punch at joel which he caught and then punched the guy in the stomach. After that the man got the upperhand for a second and you were about to do something, anything but Melissa and Eric pulled you back.

“He’s okay, this what he was hired for” Melissa said to you as you continued watching them fight. Eventually after a solid punch Joel knocked the man out cold. You ran over to him grabbing his shoulders. “Fuck Joel, you’re insane, he could have killed you” You said gripping his jacket. “Probably not, but im okay, just a little sore and a few scratches” He said rubbing his hands up your arms. As you continued scolding joel security came to drag the other man out to some car to take him to the hospital. “A few scratches?! Your knuckles are bloody and scraped to hell” You said turning your attention to his hand. You were close to tears by this point.

He stopped your frantic search for more injuries by pulling you into his arms. “You hear that princess? M’hearts still beating” He whispered into your ear. You stood like that for a couple minutes before he spoke again. “Are you okay?” He said pulling you out of his chest. Of course he’s thinking of your comfort when he’s all scraped up. “Yeah, I’m okay now, let’s get you to the hospital” You said wiping your nose. “I don’t want to go to the hospital, i’ll just go home tommy and ellie can probably help me better anyways” He said shaking his head. “Joel you need to go to the hospital” You scolded him.

“Please, i don’t want to go to the hospital, just let me go home, please” He practically begged you. You’d never heard him sound like this let alone say please. “Yeah okay, but i’m coming with you” You grabbed his arm before walking over to your friends. “I’m gonna take him home, just didn’t want to leave without sayin goodbye” You said hugging your friends. Joel stood behind you while you said bye to your friends. He’s never been as fidgety as he is right now, something must be really bothering him. “Alright, let’s get you home yeah?” You said grabbing his good hand. He just nodded and wordlessly followed you out the door. Once you settled in the car and told the driver to take you to joel’s you rolled up the screen separating the back and the front.

“Joel” You said quietly unsure how to approach the problem. He hummed in response tilting his head towards you. “Are you okay?” The silence filled the car after that. You didn’t want to speak again until he said something. It took him a few minutes but he spoke again. “No, not really” He said grabbing onto your hand. You unbuckled and moved closer to him. Wrapping your arms around him you buried your face in his shoulder. Joel’s never been like this in all the years you’ve known him. You were about to speak again when you felt tears hit your chest and heard his shaky breathing. Instead of speaking you just held him tighter and let him cry into your chest.

“I’m sorry” He said finally pulling away from you. “Don’t apologize, you don’t ever have to apologize for your emotions” You said swiping his hair off his forehead. He nodded and pulled you into another hug, which you returned. “Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked quietly. “No, at least not right now” He said pulling away as the car rolled to a stop in front of joel’s. You slid out with him and stopped walking when he walked back over to the car. You didn’t hear what he said but shortly after the car pulled away leaving you both alone. “Come on, we gotta get you cleaned up” You held out your hands to him which he took. Once you both walked through the door Ellie sprung up from the couch.

She took in the both of you before speaking. “What the hell happened to you” She said scanning joel’s injuries. “It’s nothin” Joel brushed it off walking past her into the kitchen. You stood there awkwardly before joel called you into the kitchen. “I called tommy he should be here in a few minutes, would you like something to drink?” He said walking over to you. “No i’m alright” You smiled before sitting in a chair at the table. “Joel? Are you gonna tell me what happened or should i ask her?” Ellie said walking into the kitchen. “It was just a little fight, ellie i’m fine” He said brushing off her concern. “A little fight? You’re all scraped up, you haven’t had a fight in forever too” She said continuing to pester him.

You enjoyed watching the two of them interact. “Ellie i said it’s nothing” He said coming off a little harshly. She shrunk a little before stepping back. “I’m sorry kiddo, it was just a rough day” He said turning towards her. Then the door to the house opened and tommy walked in. “Joel, what the hell happened?” Tommy said walking into the kitchen. Once he stopped he spotted you. “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend?” He said turning back to joel. “Girlfriend?!” Sarah said running down the stairs. “She’s not my girlfriend, and what’re you doing here? Aren’t you meant to be at home with your family?” Joel said turning to her.

You were happy to just sit quietly and watch joel interact with the people he loves. “I told them i was gonna hang out with ellie for a little” She said brushing off his question. “Sorry to butt in but joel you’re still hurt” You said finally speaking. “Right” Tommy said reaching under the sink for the first aid kit. As tommy worked on cleaning joel in the living room, Sarah and Ellie moved to sit next to you. Joel had begrudgingly left you alone with them but not without warning them to behave. “Soooo, what’re your intentions with my dad” Sarah said first. “You can’t just ask her things like that” Ellie said cutting her off. “What do you mean?” You said finally.

“Are you together? Do you like him? Do you love him?” She said, the questions flowing out of her mouth rapidly. “No we’re not together” You we’re about to continue speaking when joel walked back in and cut you off. “Stop botherin her” He said stopping behind your chair. “We’re not bothering her, right?” Sarah said looking from her father to you. “They’re fine Joel, really.” You said looking up at him. “Did you send Drew away or is he gonna be back?” You said turning to fully face him. “He’s gone, you can stay here tonight” He said with full confidence. “But we don’t have a guest room” Ellie said looking up at him confused. “She can just sleep in my bed, i’ll sleep on the couch” Joel said sitting in the chair next to you.

“Hell no, after tonight your sleeping in your bed, i cant take that away from you” You said shaking your head. “Why don’t you just share the bed?” Sarah said looking between the two of you. “Yeah, I mean you’re both adults” Tommy said patting joel on the shoulder. “Are you okay with that?” Joel said nudging your foot with his. “Yeah, Yeah, we can handle it” You said trying not to sound to eager. “Sarah can you go to yours and grab her some clothes?” Joel turned to his daughter. “Sure!” She said standing up and leaving quickly. “Alright, i’ve gotta get back home before maria strings me up but i’ll be seeing you” Tommy said pointing to you as he left. “Can i go have a sleepover at Dina’s? I meant to ask you earlier but you weren’t home” Ellie said turning to Joel.

“Yeah go ahead” And with that Ellie got up and grabbed the bag she had apparently already packed and ran out the door. “Guess it’s just us then” Joel said chuckling awkwardly. You nodded and then the door opened again. “I only have pajama shorts, sorry, but she can borrow one of your shirts right dad?” Sarah said handing you the shorts. “Of course you can” Joel said slightly smiling. “Alright, gotta go” Sarah said turning back around and leaving. “Let’s go to bed” Joel said pulling you up and then walking you to the stairs. Once you two had reached his bedroom he walked in and pulled out a shirt for you. He handed it to you before turning around.

As you stated to take off your jewelry you remembered the zipper on the back of your dress. You tried to do it yourself but since you couldn’t even zip it yourself how did you expect to take it off. “Um, Joel?” You whispered into the room. “Yes?” He called back. “I, uh, i cant unzip it” You said too embarrassed to turn around. You heard footsteps move closer to you before stopping just behind you. You could feel his breath on your neck as he began to speak. “Do you need some help?” Your breath caught as you realized how close he is to you. You nodded and his hands moved to the zipper. His fingers brushing against your back sent sparks shooting through you.

“It’s unzipped” He said pulling you out of your thoughts. You realized he must have turned around again as you couldn’t hear his voice as clearly. You slid his shirt and the shorts on and turned back to face him. “You can look now” You said and he turned towards you. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of you in his shirt and extremely small shorts. He can’t help but think sarah did that on purpose. You both climbed into bed, as you settled in you thought to yourself how you could get used to this. Family talks, His shirts, Sleeping next to him in bed. “Joel” You said slowly. He hummed turning to look at you.

“Would you hold me?” You asked quietly. He nodded and flipped the light off before settling in behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and smiled at the feeling of finally having you in his arms even if it isn’t when he’s with you. That would be a talk for another time. “Goodnight joel” You said rolling over to face him. “Goodnight sunshine” Joel said as you snuggled into his chest. Yeah you could get used to this. And so could he.

#joel miller x you #joel the last of us #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x Actress!Reader #pedro pascal #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #bodyguard!joel miller #bodyguard!joel miller x actress!reader

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strangerthingsn · 4 months

Text

Bruised

part 3

summary: You live in your car or a hotel, you sell your body to men for money, but got accidentally pregnant by the only one Alan Munson(Eddies dad). He was in jail before, for the same thing he did to you. But lucky he has a son who cares and helps you out.

warnings:18+ (all parts), sex, getting caught, love, pet names, language, alcohol, smoking, pregnancy

”come, let’s go home” Eddie look down at you with soft eyes, you could see them because of the bright moon light.

“That guy is a asshole” you huff and look at your feet.

“tell me about it..” Eddie sighs and sits next to you.

“what do you mean?” You look at him again.

“he used to bully me and the guys back in high school, like spit in our lunch, put things on our lockers, bumb us against the lockers and he even stole things”

“I’m sorry for that Eds” you lay your head on his shoulder, you’re exhausted.

“You’re tired aren’t you?”

“mhm..”you nod.

“I’ll walk you to the van already then I’ll get the boys” he gets up and helps you after, you both walk to the van and you wait there for him to come back with the others.

—2 days later—

“so why you think you can work hire?” The boss of the coffee shop asks.

“I’m very friendly to people, I’m really patient and I can handle mad people” you nod agreeing with yourself.

“hmm… alright tomorrow wil be your first work day” he said. “What’s your size?”

“normally a medium but it will be a couple sizes bigger because of the baby”

“uhh.. let me look for you” he gets up from the chair and walks somewhere. You sit in the little office, you can’t belive you just got a proper job.

“got the biggest one” The man gives it to you, it was not the most ugly outfit. You take it and get up.

“I’ll pay you some more for the baby then, deal?”

“deal” you nod and shake his hand.

“see you tomorrow” he smiles.

“bye bye!” You wave and walk out of the building, heading to Eddies van. You get in meeting Eddies exited face.

“and?” He says.

“I got a job!” You smiles.

“I told you, congratulations” Eddie smiles. “I got something else while you were gone”

“Thanks and what is that?”

“this….” Eddie pulls his shirt up showing nipple rings.

“no fucking way” you gasp “I just know that hurts so much dude, they suite you tho” you look at it.

“Yeah? You like it?” He puts his shirt down.

“Love it” you nod.

“Don’t tell my uncle tho” He chuckles while starting the van.

“You think he’ll be mad?” You look at him still.

“possible” he nods.

“Ill keep my mouth shut” You and Eddies relationship what’s difficult, sometimes he calls you sweetheart or other things but he also said you’re like a sister to him, you didn’t have sex since that night, ofcourse you wanted to, he was the best you had but you two were just busy.

“I can’t wait for Christmas” you say looking at the road.

“You like Christmas?”

“It gives me happy memories with my parents, we used to go to the mall to eat stuff and that same night we’d have dinner together and unpack presents” you smile thinking about the memories.

“You miss that.?”

“I miss it really much” you nod.

“Im sorry, i miss Christmas with my mom too, Alan would never give me presents but my mom always gave us something little”

“I hope i can afford a big present every year for the little one”

“A little thing is okay too, it’s just.. the little things mean the most” Eddie shows a ring on his necklace.

“Your mom gave it to you?”

“Yes but it doesn’t fit anymore” he looks at it.

“I bet your mom was a nice and gorgeous woman” you smile.

“she was” he nods, you sat in silence in the car when you suddenly spot something.

“should we get a Christmas three?” You smile.

“I don’t really have money for that right he now, I’m sorry..”

“o thats fine, sorry for asking”

“You don’t have to be sorry” He smiles and kisses your hand.

— 2 hours later —

You hum while cooking dinner and suddenly two arms wrap around your hip.

“hey Eddie” you smile. “are you nervous?”

“yes, I can’t play it right I’m fucking it up all the time” he sighs. Corroded coffin has a Christmas gig somewhere at a bar tomorrow and Eddie is atleast an hour in his room busy with practicing.

“You gonna be great” you smile.

“Yes thank you but I’ll finish dinner you can take a bath”

“okay” you kiss his cheek and walk over to the bathroom.

After you took a bath you put bodylotion all over your body, you just shaved (this was probably the last time you could reach because of the babybumb) hoping you could make some love to Eddie tonight. After you did you put on your pjs Eddie got matching ones for you and him that looked so adorable. You walk out of the bathroom to the kitchen again Eddie puts dinner on the table, Wayne is on a date with some woman so you and Eddie eat alone.

“you smell good” Eddie smiles while sitting down and you sit down too.

“thank you Eds” you smile and start eating.

“you have a very gorgeous smile you know that?”

“you have too, your smile makes me happy” you tell.

“Really?” He blushes a little.

“reaaaally” you nod.

“how nice of you” he eats too.

—after dinner—

You walks outside to Eddie and he’s smoking on a wooden chair. You sit on the one next to him and you watch him smoke when suddenly that terrible smell hits.

“ew.. weed?” You chuckle.

“mhmmm” he lays his hand on your leg.

“You smoke weed often, hm?” You just say it in a flirty way.

“Yeah” he nods “it’s chill”

“Every day?”

“mostly yes, twice a day” he nods circling his finger over your leg. You bit your lip looking at him.

“having plans for tonight?”

“And why are you asking?” He smirks.

“just interested” you smirk back. He nods looking down while thinking for a second, you didn’t look away and when he looks up again you had eye contact.

“fuck it” he mumbles and pulls you in for a kiss. Your heart was racing ofcourse it’s not the first time but still, you love him. He kisses softly but with a combination of needy. He lays his hand in your neck pulling you in even closer. You kiss him deeper and more personally. Eddie pulls away and looks at you.

“go inside it’s cold” he smirks.

“I guess I just wait in your room then” you wink while getting up.

“Oh yeah?” He smirks.

When he closes the door he immediately pushes you against it kissing you rough and hard. He pushes his boner against your thighs.

“mmmh, so gorgeous” Eddie rubs your belly and continues with kissing your neck. You look up to make that more easy for him to do. He pulls away and takes his shirt off and wanted to continue but you were quickly enough to kiss his neck. He puts his hand under your shirt unclipping your bra already.

He takes it off and throws it somewhere in the room. Now his hands were on your boobs squeezing and rubbing them slowly, it hand my moaning against his neck every time he touches your sensitive nipples. You suck a couple bruises in his neck, some where darker then the others but the looked hot.

“let me..” Eddie grabs the hem of your shirt and you help him with taking it off. “God..” he picks you up after admiring your beautiful body and gently lays you down on his bed. He kisses your boobs and up to your neck leaving hickeys all over your chest and neck.

“need you” you whisper while playing with his hair.

“i know…” Eddie starts taking his jeans off and your sweatpants. You wore your prettiest pair of panties and he smirks while seeing them. “I love these” he kisses your belly. “Look how wet you are”

“For you..” you silently say.

“Im hard for you.” He smirks taking off his boxers and taking himself in his hand.

“i see, such a big cock Eddie” you say biting your lip. Eddie seems to not expect those words coming out of your mouth.

“that was so hot.” He bites his bottom lip and grabs your panties. “Gonna make love to your perfect body, doll” Eddie says while going with a finger through your folds.

“n-no” you stutter after a moan leaves your mouth.

“don’t want me to.?”

“your dick Eddie..” you whine.

“I’m not really a big fan of just-… pushing inside I’m scared to hurt you baby” he strokes himself.

“please” you take his hand.

“Okay…” He jerks himself up a couple times and lines up and after that he slowly pushes through you soaking hole. “What pose baby?”

“L-lay..” you moan when he’s still trying to push his cock inside of you. “Hire..” you say out of breath.

“you want to ride me?” He looks confused.

“n-no” you groan.

“okay…” Eddie carefully lays infrond of you still having his big cock halfway inside of you. “Like this.?”

“y-yeah” you nod with your eyes closed and you lay your leg over his hip. Eddie seems to understand what you were trying and he lays a hand on your back and pulls you closer.

“You feel so wet and warm” he whispers while he starts slowly thrusting in and out of you, when he’s inside he doesn’t even go halfway he doesn’t wanna hurt you. The sound of his moans and your soft whimpers together turn you on so bad.

“Touch you.?” You ask silently.

“O-ofcourse” he takes your hand and lays it on his hip, you didn’t notice the tattoos last time, he has a skull, spider, snake and a dragon on his chest, stars, roses, bats, another dragon, Iron Maiden, guitar, tiger, and much more on his arms. They all fit him so well, you go with your hands slowly over his body and tattoos. You look further down at a tattoo on his belly with the text, suck it. You look back up at his face again and he was already looking at you. He had a hand on your neck and he pulls you in for a kiss. It was messy with teeth and tongues together.

Eddie slides a hand down and lays it on your ass to move your hips with the rhymn of his, the string in your belly is about to snap already. He squeezes your ass and kisses your throat, that sends you over the edge and has you spilling your load all over his dick.

“Good girl-… g-gona… fuck-“ he cums inside of you. You moan and sit up taking his dick out of you carefully.

“W-what are you gonna do.?” Eddie looks at you with half lidden eyes.

“relax” you whisper while grabbing his cock and stroking him, he let out a groan and he started to become hard again. You start to jerk of he buckles his hips up and starts fucking your fist. “Be patient” you giggle and you slowly push his hips back down.

“S-so good baby.. so g-good fme” he mumbles. You slowly bend over and take his tip in your mouth, he absolutely didn’t want expected that from you, he buckled his hips up again and you pull away.

“Sorry, you don’t want it.?” You look at him while taking your hands off him. He takes your hand calming you down.

“hey, its fine not gonna hurt you remember? And yes I would love a blow job from you.” He kisses your hand and lay back down.

“Thank you..” you whisper before kissing his tip again. You never felt so safe around a dude, you believe Eddie is the one for you. Taking his tip in your mouth had Eddie moaning your name, that was definitely the most sexiest thing you ever heard.

Eddie lays a hand on your ass and looks at you sucking his dick. You pull away kissing down to his balls and you take one in your mouth sucking on it while jerking him off.

“holy-“ he moans. You take the other one in your mouth now still jerking him off, you use your tongue while sucking. Then you slowly kiss up to his tip and now you take more length in your mout bobbing your head up and down. Eddie looks at your lips wrapped around his hard cock. He wishes he could keep looking but his eyes keep falling shut.

You take more and more of him until he hits the back of your throat. You continue taking him further but you couldn’t help but gag. That eventually send Eddie over the edge and he loads his cum down your throat. Eddie had kind of zoned out so you sit back on your knees and start fingering yourself slowly. That’s what you always do while giving man a blowjob or after it.

“don’t touch yourself.” Eddie his arms came your way and you were quick enough to look away waiting for the hit and hurt that never came. You slowly look back at him and he looks at you with big eyes. “I’m sorry… fuck…fuck” he sits up and pulls you on his lap carefully. He rubs your back, kisses your head and kinda treats you like a baby. “I keep scaring you and I hate it.”

“its fine” you say softly, you are safe on his lap and he’s actually comforting you.

“no its not baby...” it was silent for a moment.

“I love you” you whisper.

“hm?” Eddie wasn’t sure if he heard you correctly.

“love you..” you say shyly. Eddies heart is racing and he puts a finger under his chin and make him look up at you.

“I love you back.” He smiles and kisses you softy.

—later that night—

“You look so hot while you riding me” he groans. You and Eddie are having sex for god knows how long. It just keeps going because after every round you look each other in the eyes and start making out again and you know how it ends up. You had five round and six organisms. You tried so many poses but there are also so much to still try.

“I love you” you lean down at kiss him again he kisses back while playing with your nipples.

“does it still feel good for you.?” He had ask that already a few times he just want to make sure you were okay.

“s-so good” you nod leaning up again bouncing harder on his cock, your big tits are bouncing and Eddie couldn’t keep his eyes off them. He leans up to kiss them and….

“hey Eddie i-…” Wayne walks in… his eyes staring at the two of you Eddie quickly wraps the blanket around you and he gets up putting his boxers on.

“We need to talk.” He walks back into the living room slamming the door shut. It was completely silent in the room, Eddie is putting his clothes on and he walks out. You sit nervously on the bed thinking he was mad at you but not much later he walks back into the room with a towel.

“sorry” he mumbles while pulling the blanket off you and cleaning you up really carefully taking the time for it.

“Im sorry too” you whisper while you look at him. He gives you a kiss on your cheek and gives you fresh panties and your pyjamas back. You smile a little and put it on.

“don’t worry I’ll talk for us” he takes your hand and walks to the living room, you just follow him like a lost puppy. You both sit down on the couch in silence.

“so what is this Edward?” Wayne looks at him.

“like you saw. We were having sex”

“are you paying her for it?” He asks.

“no, we are in love.. atleast im really in love with her.” You couldn’t help but smile a little bit.

“If you don’t stop this you need to get out in a week.” Wayne looks mad.

“Okay sir, I’m sorry.” You look down at your feet and Eddie rubs your back.

“are you serious Wayne?” Eddie looks mad too now.

“Good night.” Wayne gets up and walks into his bedroom.

“asshole” Eddie mumbles and huffs while Wayne closed the door.

“I understand him, I mean… I’m a slut”

“you aren’t, you were and it was not even really your fault” he kisses your head and gets up walking to the kitchen. “water?”

“oh uh, yes” you nod, was this a good idea? Maybe you should just go already, you don’t want cause any problems between Eddie and Wayne.

“What’s going around in that pretty head of yours” he kisses your head and gives your water.

“Do you really love me?” You look up at him taking take glass.

“really.” He nods sitting down next to you.

“then I have to get out in a week” you lay your head on his shoulder.

“no you don’t, if you do, I’ll go with you” he starts rubbing your side.

“maybe we can buy our own trailer when I work really hard for it”

“first you gonna buy baby stuff” Eddie smiles.

“Right” you nod taking a sip of your water and putting it back on the table, Eddie smiles and kissses the side of your face multiple times.

“Eddie stop” you giggle “it tickles”

“come hire” he picks you up and walks over to his room. “Don’t wanna be tired on your first work day”

“You’re right” you give him a little pec.

“that’s what i thought” he nods and lays you down on your side putting the blanket over you.

“stop kicking, silly” you smile looking down at your baby bumb. Eddie takes your pants off and you’re sleeping in the shirt. “Thank you”

“don’t thank me sweetheart” Eddie turns the light off and lays down next to you. You turn around with a smirk. “Oh no” Eddie chuckles.

“No I was just thinking.. you should get a coffee tomorrow” you look at him.

“I will, when me and the boys are practicing in the morning we’ll get a coffee, alright?” He kisses your forehead.

“thanks” you cuddle him and he cuddles back. “Do you have a boner?”

“I hoped you didn’t notice”

“I would do something about it but your uncle will kill me”

“I can’t be silent… as you know so probably not a good idea” he chuckles.

—the next morning—

Eddie cooked breakfast for you and Wayne, you ate together in silence, when you showered and were dressed up in your work uniform Eddie laughed at you. The two of you kissed goodbye (secretly) and there you were.. at your work.

“oh hey you must be new girl?” A girl with short blond hair asks randomly.

“Am I late?” You smile.

“no, don’t worry, I’m Jade” she leads you the way to the back and explains how you need to make to coffees with the first couple of customers. She was really friendly.

“you think you can do it alone now?”

“I guess” you chuckle.

“good luck, I’ll be right next to you take other orders so if you need help I’m hire” she smiles.

“thanks” you nod, you turn your head to a customer that walks into the shop.

“good morning, what can I get for you?”

“hey, I’ll just get a coffee with caramel” She says.

“Small, medium or large?”

“medium”

“And just the regular milk?” You look at her.

“yes please.”

“Okay, was that everything?”

“uhh can i have a cookie too?”

“the chocolate, vanilla or red velvet?” You look at the ones she’s pointing at.

“Just the vanilla, and that was everything”

“okay, that is…7,70 dollar” you look at her, she nods giving the money. You count it and put it in the cash desk.

“okay you have order numberrr… 17 well let you notice if its done.” You smile giving her the receipt. She takes it with a smile.

“thanks” she walks off and sits down. You grab a cup making the coffee ready.

“you did great” Jade smiles.

“you think so?”

“I know so.” She nods making her own order ready. You mix the caramel and milk through the coffee and up the lid from the cup on it and you add a straw. You walk to the cookies and you get the vanilla one putting it in a bag.

“order number 17?” You look around.

“yes thank you” the woman takes it.

“have a nice day”

“same for you” you smile.

—2 hours later —

You met two other of your coworkers, Jake and Grace, they are also really nice. You and Jade are having a lunch break, you’re just eating a sandwich and drinking some water.

“so how you got pregnant?” She asks with her mouth full.

“oh that’s a long story, something with my old job” you smile.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“sure, I used to be a sex worker, and well as you see not everyone uses a condom..” you shrug your shoulders.

“no way, that’s such a shame, are you not on birth control?”

“no, my parents both died and well, I’m not like… rich..” you chuckle.

“well I bet it’s much better working hire then”

“absolutely” you nod. “Without Eddie I could have never do this.”

“Who’s Eddie?”

“He’s my boyfriend, since yesterday, but the guy who got me pregnant was kinda… a dick” you chuckle “turns out to be his dad and he’s a criminal and just shot me, because I actually got pregnant and Eddie kinda saved my life, now I’m living it’s him and his uncle in a trailer.” You explain

“He shot you?”

“yep, it hurted like a bitch, but baby is still alive” you look down at your bumb.

“to be honest I would love to be friends with you, you seem like a very nice person to me” she smiles.

“thank you, i would love to be friends with you too”

“y/n?” Jake asks walking in.

“Oh yeah?” You turn around.

“Some guy long hair is asking for you” he shrugs his shoulders.

“Okay tell him I’ll be there in a moment” you smile and Jake nods walking off “speaking of the devil, Eddie is hire” you get up taking your last sip of water.

“Long hair huh? Rockstar?”

“he plays in a band” you nod.

“Cool I wanna see him” she gets up walking behind you. You look around seeing Eddie brighten up as he sees you.

“hey sir can i get you something” you joke.

“Yes ma’am, I would like four coffees”

“normal ones?”

“just give us the best” he lean against the wall.

“alright, something else?”

“Your number” he jokes.

“Well its the same as yours sooo” you smile.

“okay okay”

“give him a free cookie” Jade interrupts.

“you can give him a free cookie, I don’t wanna get fired on my first day.

“okay, hire” she gives a heart shaped cookie. “Act like she gave it herself”

“I will, thank you” Eddie chuckled.

“That’s gonna be 18,71 dollar” you look at him. “you have order number 67 by the way.”

“Hire, you can keep the rest” Eddie gives 20 dollars and walks back to his band mates. You wave at them and they wave back and Gareth points at you and Eddie then does an impression of a moan while having sex.

“he’s childish”Jade looks at him.

“I know right” your roll your eyes.

“he’s kinda cute tho” she smiles.

“he’s Gareth, Drummer” you smile while making the four coffees ready Jade helps you.

“he’s cool, uhh what kind of coffee?”

“mixed with white chocolate and sugar, they can use some for tonight”

“they doing a performance?”

“yes” you nod while adding a few pumps of a white chocolate flavored mixture in two of them and Jade does the other two. You mix sugar in it too and put the lit on it, adding the straws.

“number 67” you smile looking at Eddie while Jade bring the other two. Eddie and Jeff get up to get the coffees.

“what is it?” Jeff looks at it.

“White chocolate” you smile handing them. Eddie smiles taking two and Jeff does the same.

“sounds really good, thanks sweetheart” Eddie smiles.

“Wait I want a hug before you go” you walks around to Eddie.

“come hire then” Eddie wraps his arms around you carefully not to spill any coffee on you, you hug him back with a smile.

“success with practicing you guys” you look at the rest, pulling away from the hug.

“thanks” Gareth smiles.

“thank you” Eddie waves and they all walk out.

—later that day on 8 pm—

you’re in Mary Harrington her room, you two called a couple times and Eddie told you could bring a friend if you wanted too. So now you’re wearing a pretty silvery glitter dress.

“that looks really pretty on you y/n, i should wear it” Mary stands behind you in the mirror she found some old clothes from her mom when she was pregnant.

“Is your mom okay with it?” You look at her.

“mhm, you can even ask it again, she is okay with it” she smiles. “And you should put on this shoes” she shows dr martens. “And are you wearing pretty panties, Eddie is definitely gonna fuck you.” She smirks.

“Shut up” you giggle.

“hire” she puts a necklace around your neck. “Can I do your makeup?”

“Sure” you look at the neckle with a smile.

“sit down” she points at the chair behind you.

“okay” you nod sitting down on the chair.

“uhhh, let’s start with this” she puts something on your face and spreads it out with her hands. She grabs concealer and puts it under your eyes and nose. “I’m not gonna use too much cause you’re already pretty”

“Thanks sweety” you chuckle. She smiles while blending it out.

“so tell me about dating Eddie”

“So I had my first work day today and he came to get a coffee with the band specially for me” you smile.

“what did you make him”

“I guess it was one with white chocolate”

“those are good, i will definitely go there any time” she smiles too.

“fine by me, i work everyday except for the weekend”

“how many hours a day?”

“seven”

“it seems like a fun job” she puts on some pouder and blush.

“it is except for those bitchy customers with a attitude” you laugh.

“I can imagine” she does your eyeliner and mascara.

“How is your boyfriend?”

“good, he is on vacation with his parents now” she grabs a red lipstick and puts it on.

“fun, you’re done?”

“yep” you look into the mirror with a smile, she actually made you look pretty, you’re sure Eddie is gonna love it.

“wait” she adds some glittery black eyeshadow. “Better”

“I love it thank you”

“now let’s go” she grabs her bag and you get up, ready to go see Eddie play with his band.

Hay Hay, i probably will not post anything before Christmas anymore so happy holidays 🫶🏻🎄

taglist: @bethexo07 @kellyxo1 @daisyridleyss @ilovetaquitosmmmm

(if there is a line through your name means I can’t tagg you, sorry!)

#eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #mom!reader #sex worker #whor3

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eggtartz · 1 year

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Hi! :D I'm new to your blog, and I'm OBSESSED with your writing. So I wanted to request something and see how you would write it!!! :D

Tokyo Revengers, Takemichi has a sister and no one knew not even Hina, so his sister vists him and she's just like Sukuna, she can fight like Sukuna, her personality is like Sukuna.

Tokyo Revengers x Sukuna Takemichi's Sister reader. With the same personality and strength!!

Thank you!!! (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

a/n : thankyou for the kind words anon they make my day 😭💞💞 also this story works in every timeline if you want to imagine it. thankyou for requesting and enjoy 🫶🏻

summary : takemichi's onee-san is home!

masterlist

- you were told go back to japan as your brother hanagaki takemichi has been in trouble for being involved with deliquents

- you were doing well abroad, had a job and good income but your relatives called to check on how your baby's brother doing

- annoyed, you came back of course

- annoyed, you were worried of course. japan had organizations and dangerous yakuzas and you didn't want him to end up miserable like that

- arriving at the address you had, you entered the home that was rather small but clean.

- you were unpacking when you heard voices from outside

- "oi takemichi let's go and play!" you went to the door to answer to see four teenagers

- they had bizzare hairstyles, bizzare hair colour too

- "you friends with takemichi?" you asked. seems to you that's it your normal voice but them your voice was cold and scary

- one of them that had a hairband on top of his hand psychically shivered.

- "oh, it's my voice isn't it? don't worry im not mad, my voice gets deep sometimes"

- they still were scared tho so after talking to you and takemichi whereabouts (at least they tried to talk), they scrambled back home

- one of them called akkun said takemichi had a girlfriend called tachibana hinata so you intended to visit her sometime

- "onee-san stop saying that! im here am i not?" the youngest whined. so in disbelief you pinched his arm while glaring at him

- "you don't go and mess with those deliquents you hear me takemichi? oi you hear me?"

- next morning you were up early and told takemichi to introduce you to hinata "e-eh how did you know?!"

- arrived at tachibana's household, a young boy black haired answered the door "naoto, is hina home?"

- he invited you inside and called for hina who was upstairs. hina was jumping to see takemichi but slowed down when he saw you. you tried to smile but your naturally cold face denied your tries

- "hinata?"

- you two talked a lot on the dining table and when hina's mother came back home from the market you insisted you helped and everyone ate lunch at the tachibana's household

- going home, you and takemichi was walking side to side very awkwardly "how come you just came back now onee-san?"

- "what i can't come home to see my only brother?"

- "it's not that onee-san, i was alone when you were gone. how can i know that you won't leave me anymore?" he hiccuped

- "you don't need to worry anymore, onee-san will stay here forever with you okay?" you hugged his shoulder and he smiled. you ruffled his hair and teased him a lot about hina

- "oh takemitchi!" you heard a boy called him

- "mikey kun! doraken!" he greeted them excitedly and went to run over them until he bumped into some weird looking guys that popped out from nowhere

- "so you're hanagaki huh? the one that beat up kiyomasa?" they cornered takemichi so you blocked them from your brother

- "back up assholes"

- "who are you woman? get away!"

- "well im another hanagaki too" you kicked one of their stomach and pushed hanagaki to his friends, telling them to run

- "but onee-san! mikey is-"

- "run takemichi!"

- so the three of them went into a corner and ran there

- you were facing five figuratively bigger men than you but did that scared you? no.

- you took a nearby thin stick and swinged it to their head, splitting the stick in one blow

- one of them lunged at you but you trapped his arm and forcefully folded his palm, his fingers cracking and definitely breaking after that

- still not giving up, one of them swinged a bat at your direction but you catched the bat and turned it down "i wouldn't do that if i were you"

- when the bat was directed down, you knocked his nose with your forehead and took the bat

- hitting the bat at the other men relentlessly, they all were left bloody on the ground right after

- you traced on of their chest area with your long nails, ripping the shirt in the process and said "harm hanagaki again, you'll be in a much much worse condition. you get me?" they said yes and struggled to ran away

- after dusting your shirt, you turned to the corner and saw the three boys was still there. huh they didn't ran away after all you thought

- "so cool onee-san! where did you learn that? teach me onee-san teach me!" takemichi yelled while clasping his hand together. his two friends too looked excited.

- "that was cool miss hanagaki" the taller boy said. the shorter one then said (or yelled) "you must meet my brother onee-san! you two should get married!"

- "mikey kun?!"

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x yn #fluff #takemichi hanagaki #tokyo revengers takemichi #takemichi x you #takemichi x reader #takemichi fluff #takemichi x hinata #hinata tachibana

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evileyekabuki · 5 months

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Just The Two Of Us

Summary: Jay wakes up with Yasmina still by his side after their first time & they decide to enjoy the moment together.

Jay White x OC (Yasmina)

It was quite just like early that night all that you could hear was the cars driving up & down the highways. The moon was streaming through the clouds & even though the curtains. The moon light was shining on Jay & Yasmina who was still asleep after their first time with each other, Jay was still holding her close to his chest & Yasmina had her hand on his as she slept peacefully.

Shortly later Jay woke up from his sleep to see his sweet little sugar bunny still sleeping so peacefully but also so beautifully. Jay knew that the boys were probably worried & confused about where he was , usually when Jay was out late he either got in a fight or handling some late night business. So they wouldn’t be too concerned or worried about their leader, friend & brother he got his phone to text Tama, who was his second in command. “Hey don’t worry about me Im just out in the city for tonight I’ll talk to you in the morning.” Jay sent the message to him before cutting off his phone to go back to bed but at that point he noticed Yasmina starting to wake up.

Yasmina left Jay giving her a kiss on her forehead as she was waking up causing her to blush once more than she did the whole night with him. “Hi bunny did I wake you up.” Jay asked holding her gently as he played with her hair like he did before. “Yes” Yasmina spoke she still had that sleepy & soft voice she even yawned before resting her head in the crease of Jay’s neck. “Sorry” Jay told her before he kissed her head again causing her to smile. “Was I good” Yasmina asked secretly wanting his praise & approval all she wanted to do now was to make him happy & proud of her. “Bunny it was wonderful, you did such a good job, you took it so well” Jay did exactly what she wanted to hear him praising her for how good she was. “I wasn’t too rough was I know that you’re small so I didn’t want or mean to hurt you if I did” Jay rubbed her cheek softly with his thumb. “No Mr White I… I actually like it rough” Yasmina giggled. Jay smirked at her “Bunny I thought you were innocent & naive” Jay laughed knowing that it wasn’t true. “Nooo” Yasmina sung and giggled.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to your boys, aren’t they worried you’ve been here all night?” Yasmina asked while rubbing her hand over Jay’s chest & over his trademark switchblade scar. “No I texted Tama & told him that I’ll see him & the rest of the boys in the morning. What about you?” Jay asked confusing Yasmina. “Huh?” Yasmina asked confused. “I mean shouldn’t you be getting home?” Jay asked. “No, well I do have my apartment but it’s not the best it’s small & cramp.” Yasmina told him which made him feel a little bit sad such a nice & sweet girl shouldnt have to live in a small and crappy apartment complex it was located in a bad area of the city so that made Jay feel even worse. “You know if you don’t feel like going back to your apartment then you could come with me back to our hideout” Jay told her. “Are you sure that’s okay wouldnt your boys be mad?” Yasmina asked. “No they wouldn’t mind besides it’s big enough for you so it wouldn’t be too much” Jay told her making her feel safe & accepted.

“Thank you Mr White.” Yasmina smiled looking back up at him. “No problem anything for my bunny.” Jay told her before giving her a small but yet passionate and even affectionate kiss.

#bullet club #aew #new japan pro wrestling #njpw fanfiction #writing on tumblr #jay white #jay white x reader #Mr White & His Sugar Bunny

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miamigrandprix · 3 months

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dts s2 e6-7

e6 -ALEX EPISODE -every time ive watched this episode and he says his sisters name (zoe) it's startled me. i anticipate it and it surprises me every time -"we are trying to give young people a chance. That's part of the Red Bull philosophy." (Helmut Marko) oh ok. oh OK. OH OK. -i need him biblically. i need him in a way that's concerning for feminism -OK UM so i watched the first half in the morning and the second half after my shift and i was like. im so wiped idk how emotionally i'll even be able to engage -and damn do i truly underestimate my ability to be affected by something i've seen and heard about over and over again. -ok but the parallels between alex's mom talking about being scared as a mom vs daniel's mom talking about the same thing in s1e1 -random cate sighting is crazy i almost forgot how she dated pierre lmao -god i NEED an alex/williams episode next season i miss him on this show soooooo much -its silly but every time i see that clip of anthoine kissing his girlfriend its instant waterworks

e7: -first of all obsessed with seb saying y'all. love him miss him sm -GOD you can just see how charles still has hopes and dreams here he hasnt been crushed and hardened by the ferrari machine yet. what a sweet time for him :/ -sebchal makes me so *gnawing at the bars of my enclosure* -part of me wishes they showed charles' win at monza w/ more charles centric focus? it was such a big deal for him and i think it deserved more. THAT BEING SAID it does set up the sebchal rivalry dynamic well, which is what the documentarians chose to focus on, and for that they did well. -i could say the same for seb's singapore win. it makes sense from a storytelling persepctive to focus on these from the rivalry lense but damn do i know these are iconic wins for both of them and its bittersweet that they don't get their own focus -i'm so confused how charles literally looks straight down the camera lense and says that he was signed with the knowledge that he'd be second to seb, and then gets MAD when they prioritize seb???? like when they prioritize charles seb has ever right to be mad bc that goes against what he was told but charles?????? i know that its bc theyre gonna be super competitive no matter what they're told bc its in their nature but Come Onn -"every world champion has what I term an 'inner bastard', and its the ability to make the tough decision when you have to." i do NOT take will buxton slander on this blog. i love this quote sm and as a baby fan it was big in understanding driver v team politics. it is SUCH an important skill to know when to be a team player and when to be selfish, and the ones who figure it out are the ones who maximize best outcomes. (a good example of this recently imo is carlos in singapore!) -"we'll start by holding hands." when i know its coming and i'm still vibrating gnawing on my enclosure etc etc. brainworms well and alive and fed -GOD rly puts into perspective how charles has been being fucked over by the ferrari engine since Day One -sebastian vettel has the vibes of a restaurant manager who isn't doing the greatest job but he'll never get in trouble because every single waitress is swooning every time he speaks. let me know if this makes sense -with more seb history context: i wonder how much this parallels to the dynamic in rb when daniel joined--and he left the following year. christian talks all about daniel "running from a fight" with max... wonder if thats also, at least in these instances, sebs instinct as a driver in this system. don't take this analysis too serious btw i'm just spitballin

#she speaks #dtsrewatch #i was gonna get episode 7 2night but i am so so sleepy i'm gonna take a midday nap and we'll see what i can do tomorrow!#i've also been Very Busy setting up my sims wedding its very important

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wtfuglydemon · 4 months

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As the year ends i keep thinking how this year was.... something. I feel like life gave me a soft reset and i dont know what to do with it, it's not as much as i was given a second chance on things but as if everything ive built suddenly crumbled down with no warning and im now forced to work around this, for better or worse.

This year already started horribly, after all i just left from a year where i was being humiliated, shamed and scolded for not being sad about my uncle's death, a man they all know tried to kill me multiple times before, i dont know if i am fully over that still.

At the beginning of the year i am suddenly invited to live with someone i honestly didnt even know and since i was so eager to leave home i accepted but didnt realize how much pressure that would place on my back, as suddenly i was responsible by so many things and specially the person. A horrible gamble that only made my situation at home worse because i left after a fight, never contracted anyone and suddenly i had to come back and pretend nothing happened, worsening my relationship with everyone now that they know i hate them.

I actually dont even remember what happened in April anymore besides the fact i tried to kill myself, i only know this because i told some people but my memory of it is completely gone however it is relevant as it is now May and im a very depressive episode the whole month due to my current treatment and i then suddenly forget my mother's birthday at the end of it, im at my worst day and im being guilted and dragged into a birthday party that i do not have since im 10, without a shower, without time to comb my hair, looking my worst in a place full of people who actively hate me, who told they hate me many times, i felt vulnerable and violated, i had to leave early and had a panic attack which led me to go back into self harming, something I hadn't done for years but this is what brought it back and now i was in a very bad mood and locked at my room

Then immediately after, the person i lived with for what was nice for a month or two, she made me start my hrt and gather my documents to change gender and name officially, and gave me many other things but now there was a problem, she was so... obsessive and possessive over me and i never had shown any interest in her and this became weird fast, everything she did felt like she was trying to win me over, all the gifts all the help, it felt like she saw my state and thought i was mentally vulnerable enough, that she could "save" me which eventually led me to be highly uncomfortable and start distancing myself. She got mad at me, started telling me i should go to therapy despite the fact im open to the fact im not returning to one, there was a random threat of sending me to a psych ward, she questioned my relationships and said they were all bad for me despite barely knowing the people i involved myself with AND me, and as i exploded due to my already bad mood and my frustrations about how she was invading my personal space and thinking she is important to me, that only certain people could, she used my words to spread it to all my old group of friends in a way that made it seen like i hated them.

I was immediately abandoned by everyone i knew since 2015 or even early, the only stable relationships i had my whole life, i was called many names, thrown away without a second thought and only for me to find out this was already coming, that they already had a secret chat to talk bad about me without me knowing way before all this, so all this did was give them an excuse. Of course i also no income and now with her doing this, i have to sustain myself with my hrt meds, something around $40(BRL120) per month and $80(BRL240) every four months, my family already hates me and now i need them to buy these, further decreasing even the food i receive and now i can not ask for anything, not only that but i am now being forced into a job i can not have, causing me to once again cut.

It's been like that for two more months, i only gathered enough courage to leave the house once in July to pick up my new altered documents and once my birthday came in September, almost no one remembered, two people did but not even my partner at the time did — all while i watched so many people with September birthdays, even the same day as mine get everything, birthday wishes, gifts, a party. I have a horrible relationship with birthdays, i never had birthdays past 10yo, all i get since then is a cheap chocolate box and a rush to find a job and leave the house and this year was no different but with the added flavor or being blamed for the lack of money due to my meds. To me, birthdays represent the day i start existing and if no one says anything about it, it tells me I shouldn't exist, which is what i thought that day, I was forgotten by everyone again, i ended everything, even with my old partner, that was the third cutting in less than 5 months.

I truly was at my lowest by the end of September and only by October i would have better news, it was when i got much closer to p-chan, my current gf, when we started dating... he cares so much for me, helps me at my lowest moments and makes me feel secure, i now have new people around me that i talk more often with and even if things at home have not changed, they are a lot more manageable when i have someone that understands my mind and is able to help me stay mentally stable after everything i went through this year, i really have no words on how grateful i am to her, she has been my light this whole end of the year, i am going to next year a little more hopeful for the better which is more than i can say going to this year. Ive been beaten down this year over and over and over, with barely any time to breathe, i dont think i am over anything in it yet and im back into my self harming behavior, with cuts as new as two weeks ago but i am better than i was at the beginning of the year and that makes me know that i can start over next year, with better people at my side.

#big text for the year because i needed to say this somewhere #might delete at a later date #kind of a vent idk i just wanted to talk about my year because wow #love.txt #tw self harm #tw suicide mention

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suckmybigtoeoikawa · 2 years

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Robaire x reader how they met

yess!!! im also gonna write how he confesses to you ^_^

i imagine you guys meeting at a fancy party

you got dragged along by your friend, you honestly didn’t want to go, but who could pass us the opportunity to get free food

when you guys finally arrive at the fancy dinner (after spending like hours getting ready), your friend lowkey leaves you to go talk to her other friends

you started to follow along but then you just figured what’s the point and moved to the bar

it was pretty chill, you stayed on your phone but you were a little hurt that your friend left you

after a little bit of scrolling though your instagram feed, you hear someone say “excuse me”

“oh yeah my bad” you say and move a little over to give the person more room. they sit down next to you. there’s some more silence but you don’t really mind, you don’t even know this person.

“hey, uhm, what drink is that?” the person asks. you look up at them and you think ‘damn they look familiar’. “it’s presseco” you answer with a smile. “is it good, im not sure what i should get”. “Yeah it’s good, you’d should add some ginerale to it, then it’ll taste much better”, the person smiles back at you and says “thank you”.

now you could’ve sworn you’ve seen him before. it’s eating at you.. where have you seen him.. school? no..instagram.. probably.

the person orders their drink and takes a sip, “oh, i see what you like now”, they says chuckling but you couldn’t help but feel butterflies from the way they said it. “yep, it’s good right?” “yes, i’d try this again”

there’s some more silence, and you’re a bit scared to ask for their name so you just hold off.

“what’s your name?” the person asks. “Oh my name is y/n”. “nice to meet you y/n,” the person puts their hand out for you to grab. you put your hand out and you both shake hands. “my name is Robaire”. “nice to meet you” you smile.

you could’ve sworn he looked a little bit surprised after you said that, you didn’t know why. “so do you come to these events often?” you laugh a bit from how cliche the question is. “no not really, my friend dragged me along, usually at this time i’d be playing a video game or something”. he chuckles a bit, “yeah me too, i came here with some of my friends”. “that’s nice”. there’s some more awkward silence.

“so.. not to sound blunt but why’d you come over the the bar, and not stick with your friends?”. he picks up his drink and takes a sip, “well i got into a little argument with one of my friends, so i’m just cooking off. I think we just needed to calm down, we’re both stressed” he says. You can’t help but realize how collected he sounds, he’s so understanding. “hmm, i see, stressed from work or?” “yeah, work” he says, it sounded like he didn’t want to talk to much about it.

“well.. at least your here with me”, you pick up your drink with a smile and raise for a cheers. he follows suit. “cheers tooo?” you drag out the last word so he can finish the sentence. “to new friends”, he smiles and you guys cheers.

After a few hours of talking to Robaire, you realize more and more how attractive he is, and how cool he is too.

he mentions all the places he’s been to and all the people he’s met

honestly you thought he was a fuckboy

you guys end the night with exchanging numbers and from that day on you guys talked more

you still haven’t brought up where you think you’ve seen him before and honestly you don’t feel like asking either

2 years later

you and him are really good friends now, ans you also know what he does for his job

he’s a famous entertainer

your friend was so mad at you, because you didn’t know who he was when you guys first met

he told you he was scared to bring it up the first few weeks of talking because he didn’t want you to use him

you completely understood and still stuck around (and he fell deeper in love dawg)

one day he invite you out to dinner, it wasn’t anything special but he tells you to wear running shoes.

honestly you got scared

you guys arrived at the dinner spot and everything was chill, it was a dinner spot that he loved to go to and he got really cool with the owners as well so you guys could get a spot away from the public.

the whole dinner was smooth and nothing out of the ordinary. the only think that you noticed was that he was acting a bit weird. like very shy.

a few weeks ago you noticed it, and even when he was around the other 4*town members they would act a little bit suspicious as well. but today. he was acting totally different.

“hey so why did i need to wear specifically running shoes?” you ask. “well we’re gonna go on a walk after dinner” “robaire.. are you planning to kill me”. he laughs and says “no no no, i just gotta show you something”

after you guys finish eating, he looks so eager. so much so that he almost forgets to pay. but as you guys are walking to the spot you notice why he said to bring running shoes. you feet were killing you. it wasn’t even like you were out in the woods or nun. y’all were in the city streets walking, and at the time you don’t know if he did this on purpose trying to get you tired but lord have mercy it was tiring.

you guys end up stopping at some park. you guys find a bench to sit at and he points down to some flower on the ground. “this is what i wanted to show you”. you look at him like he’s crazy. “..t-the flower?”. “yes, i know it may seem weird but listen. what do you think is so different about this flower” “uhm… “, you look around to see if there is anything different. you lowkey irritated, your tired and exhausted and now he got you playing blues clues?. “i don-” your sentence is cut short when he kisses you.

you just look at him. your shocked. “y/n..” “y-yes” “will you date with me?”. you’re shocked completely and confused. but at the same time everything makes sense: why he was acting so weird, why he was being so shy, so fidgety. “yes” you smile.

he kisses you again and he’s saying over and over again “for real?”.

you ask him why he showed you a flower and he tells you about how he wants that flower to represent your guys relationship, he wants it to grow into a beautiful flower

he’s such a romantic lord have mercy

#suckmybigtoeoikawa #headcannons #robaire imagines #robaire hcs #robaire headcannons #4town robaire x reader #robaire x reader #4town robaire #robaire 4town #robaire 4*town #4*town robaire #4town x reader #4town headcanons #4town imagines #robaire fluff

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undermycoat · 8 months

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just need to work this all out

ok so im unemployed fresh college grad atm and ive got job apps sent in and even an interview lined up but that interview is in the town my dad is in so im staying with my dad but in the time ive spent waiting for that date ive been with an employment agency but the job that place sent me to was the absolute worst and my mental health has plummeted to the point that i’m getting physically sick both bc of the job and bc i feel like i have to keep looking over my shoulder with my dad right there.

i skipped work saturday and today which is insanely immature but i cant think im struggling to sleep and eat bc of this and today i emailed the agency saying i wish to end our agreement. they said they wished i gave a notice (tbf i thought i had when i was like “i’m moving away” on saturday.. but whatever. actually not whatever — that shouldntve been discounted and im not entirely at fault here) but that they wish me the best and i said thank you and sorry for the inconvenience.

earlier last week when i told dad this job is really bad for me he told me to stay working there until i get another job secured. i did not do that and now im terrified of telling him that i quit bc i dont know what hes going to do plus i dont want to talk about it with him i just want to be left alone

also this interview ive got lined up is for a really great company however i dread working there bc that means i have to stay with dad. i want to go back to where i used to live. also i dont like that one of the high up workers there is friends with my dad. being a nepo baby is great unless the nepo comes from my dad. i dont trust him to not keep tabs on me and i dont want him knowing what ive been doing or where ive been. not that im doing anything illegal i just want him to fuck off, yknow?

all of this leads back to the problem ive always had in that hes a huge control freak who needs to know everything going on in my life and i cant escape. my mom got out through the divorce but im still stuck here and i cant leave either bc even if i cant breathe with him and his wife and their kids i love my paternal grandparents and aunt and uncle. im just so paranoid and anxious and i feel like i cant breathe

im so sick of disappointing people but also the stuff my dad is proud of me about is stuff im not that proud of. its like i just cant win with him.

oh and paranoia aside i dont want to owe him anything bc he used to ignore me for months despite me calling and messaging him constantly (to the point that my mom was like “do you even love me? do you even want to be here do you even care?”) when he took me out for dinner one of the times he decided to acknowledge me he said he’d pay for a field trip (past the time the fee was due so i had to get special permission from the teacher) then the next week he said i only talk to him when i need money so actually no hes not giving me anything. WHAT. and then a couple years later he was like “i never got to be your parent you never let me be your dad :(“ and when i was like “why” he was like “i had to always go have fun with you instead of discipline you bc i didnt want our time together to be all sad and me getting mad at you” like again. WHAT.

he said that bc i was like “i was rly hurt when you said i only come to u for money bc i reached out to u a lot and u never replied”. so. idk what to do with that but i still dont rly understand the argument from him here. but yeah i was like rly hurt and then he started crying talking about how he never got to be my dad even tho i was like 19 when this convo happened so he had 19 years to try and didnt and its rly unfair that im supposed to feel guilty for denying him this even tho i was the child and he had total control he could decide what to do with me and he chose wrong and now hes taking it out on me here in this restaurant. ok.

its so fucked cuz now im like so was i doing something wrong all those times we were tgt? like idk im just scared around him bc i dont ever know if im doing something wrong bc he wont tell me or maybe he will or maybe he . idk i just cant sit still yknow?

also his wife is racist and ive got to deal with microaggressions from her. and hes a pastor

anyway i just needed to get that all out there to feel a bit less crazy. thank you for coming to my ted talk ✌️😗

OH YEAH. and he makes me feel stupid all the fucking time like i dont need a job right now. i Should get one but i dont have a mortgage im not buying groceries i dont need to pay for insurance I DONT NEED A JOB. but he told me to stay in this shitass job bc i need it. dude it had me out in the sun all day (ALL DAY) paying $10/hr and had me coming home genuinely thinking about killing myself. not even bc of the physical labor but bc it was so under-stimulating like i was in my head all day no music no interesting surroundings no conversation nothing for me to solve. and he was all like “well sometimes we have to do work that we don’t like” YEAH I FUCKING KNOW DICKHEAD. my mom said he talked like that to her too and also apparently ok not to brag bc im fr not but im rly smart like im fucking brilliant and my dad always acted like it was bc of him but my mom’s other kids are also brill while my dad’s other kids are… theyre sweet kids and intelligence isnt everything im aware i know but its like “really dickhead?” i just hate how he belittles u and talks like ur dumb. im not dumb. dont piss me off

#cupid de bunny #uhh tw daddy issues?#this prolly isnt the most pc ramble.. sorry

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dreadofthegrave · 9 months

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augh. whinging about life events

this is something that would be in a circle in twitter dot corn but i don't have circles here so i will simply put it under a readmore and assume that anyone who doesnt care will simply scroll by as i gen hope they will <3

anyways. last week was vacation and coming back from vacation i got thrown in the metaphorical frying pan. person who was supposed to be watching the house fucked off w/o telling us thursday afternoon (we came back sat night) leaving our cats and her cats (inc. a 5 month old kitten in a separate room) alone. which the other cats would have been fine alone for a few days but the litterboxes were full which makes me suspect she did not clean up before she left. kitten was left with no water and no food (she gave him food but he scarfed it down immediately. because he's A Kitten) and she had the audacity to try to lie to us!! about when she left when we straight up had proof from the security system logs that she was gone for longer than she said she was <3333

did i mention this girl is supposed to be living with us for a few more weeks lol lmao

we spent an hour and a half cleaning the house from the misc toilet and vomit stains around after having already driven a collective 7 hours home from our vacation spot.

we grilled her pretty hard after she came back sunday nite at like 9:30 pm and she kinda gave a half hearted apology and i emphasized that. i agreed to the kitten staying over (which she had thrown on me like. night before we leave) (she adopted the kitten the weekend we left for vacation) with the agreement that she would be taking 100% care of him which she was Not.

and then she fucked off again for all of monday. i think she stayed monday night but she was gone the next morning. she also sprang on me monday nite that "oh do you mind if i stay at my friends house the days i have work because it's closer to my workplace" (by a magnitude of like. hours) and i said yeah because it was LATE and i was WORKING the next day so i didnt have the energy to have a long conversation. i shouldn't have said yes.

she was gone all tues and wed. she didn't have work today so she should have come back to my house but she didn't because she was with her mom. didn't tell us that btw.

now it is thurs night she's probably going to arrive back way too late for me to have a conversation with her because i go to bed early. because i wake up early for work. my sister called her and had a long convo and i sent her a text message saying the kitten has to be gone by the end of this weekend because my sister and i have been taking care of HER KITTEN this entire week basically. when i already gave her a warning for being negligent with the kitten.

tired of hearing the kitten yowling the whole day because my sister and i are both busy and we can't play with him. me because i have my desk job my sister because she's prepping for her job starting next week. regardless ITS THIS GIRLS KITTEN NOT OURS THAT WE DIDN'T AGREE TO TAKE CARE OF

i haven't even broached the topic of payment because i expected to charge her rent for the couple of weeks she was living with us but since she's only been here like. a grand total of 8 hours (when she wasn't watching the house the week we were gone) should i just charge her for using our house as a boarding house for her cats. lol. lmao. im getting some payment out of this even if i have to bug her for it

all that aside. getting grilled at work for things partially my fault and partially not my fault and feeling indignant about it. got told i wasn't communicating well enough when i have been responding to every single silly little email that was sent to me so idk. maybe check your inbox then? anyways i have to finish a report tomorrow i've been putting off for. a disgustingly long time so this is a situation i put myself in but im still mad and stressed about it

good thing i talk to my therapist tmmrw because im just gonna be like hi :) the shit hit the fan my dude

oh as an aside my brain has been bad enough this week that i decided to take a break from twitter since i figured spending my limited free time endlessly scrolling through a collapsing social media site wasn't helping my brain trying to self-cannibalize. tumblr is. Okay. for now. debating filling my queue and leaving for x amount of time but for now i need some outlet

what else. had an onslaught of flies in the house this week. killed about 20 or 30 tuesday and wednesday. thankfully there seemed to be a lot less today so i'm hoping it was just a freak accident and not a serious problem. clothes dryer has been broken (still turns, but no heat) for three weeks now. repairman has stopped by three times with a fourth time coming. i'm about ready to pull the plug after the next time he comes and just buy a new dryer even if that's going to be $$$$ because... it's an old dryer. maybe its time is just up

didn't mean for this post to be so long LMAO if you made it this far you get a picture of harley (my mom's cat). i just gotta make it through this week [pained smile]

NINJA EDIT BECAUSE AS I WAS TYPING THIS UP THERE WAS A NEW KITTEN DEVELOPMENT. after i texted her she got upset enough to decide to drive to our house and pick up the kitten and leave which i mean. lol. lmao. i gave you a warning and you decided to still fuck off so that's not my fault at this point. she's still an hour away so i will probably be going to bed when she comes home. don't have it in me to have another 10pm serious conversation lol lmao lol

#living dead text

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stinkrascal · 1 year

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While on the topic of relationships I wanted to ask something and I hope its not overstepping if so you can feel free to ignore this. Im a sufferer of chronic pain and I think there will be a point where I cannot work anymore. How did you go about expressing to your partner your unable to work and provide 50/50 and is he okay with it? I don’t know how to open up to my boyfriend because Im scared he will feel pressured or overwhelmed. Thank you for reading Jaiden!

hello anon! i was gonna answer this last night but i fell asleep aha, but you're not overstepping at all! i'll put this under a cut because it's pretty long

when we first discussed me not returning to the workforce, i basically just sat him down and told him my feelings about why i didn't think i can maintain a job. this was during covid, before the vaccines, so i still couldn't find work without significantly risking my health or his parents' health, since we still lived with his parents at the time, and his father is immunocompromised. i can't drive (i tried learning but it ended dangerously, that's all i'll say), so finding reliable transportation would be difficult. there's also the issue of our location, where at the time we lived in a rural town in bumfuck louisiana (we live in a city now, but still nothing compared to cities in bigger, more densely populated states) where job opportunities for me, someone with no education and no prior job experience, were sparse. and lastly of course i brought up my absolutely terrible mental health crisis, which he's witnessed firsthand, so he knew what i was talking about when i explained the deeper symptoms i'd been experiencing. i literally just made a list of all the cons and explained to him why i personally didn't find it viable, but still reassured him that i was open to finding work if we ever needed extra income, as well as reassuring him that i wouldn't be mad if he didn't agree with my reasoning, i simply wanted to put my thoughts out there so we could communicate our expectations. he is a very kind person though, so he understood exactly where i was coming from and we planned accordingly.

i also feel compelled to say that our circumstance is very unique in the modern day, as we had a lot of privileges a lot of people i know don't have. my partner attended college and received his bachelor's degree for free on account of his scholarships, so he has no debt, and neither do i. he works in a field where jobs are always in demand no matter where he goes, where the starting salary is very comfortable, and where growth is inevitable, and that combined with the fact that we live in louisiana which is a low cost of living state compared to many other states makes our decision a viable one. we also always had support from his parents, who have been nothing but kind and encouraging and have fully integrated me into their family. we're in a really privileged position to make this decision and i fully recognize that, and i understand that not everyone can make this decision because of various factors. so please don't take this as me trying to like "sell" this lifestyle or whatever, there's that weird trend online of the ~tradwife life~ and ~divine feminine~ and whatever, and i never want to seem like i'm shoveling that to my followers, it's just that the circumstances of our lives worked out in such a way where me not having to work became a reasonable option.

if you and your partner reasonably cannot live without two incomes, which is very common given how expensive it is to live, i would highly suggest discussing the possibility of you working less hours and contributing less financially, so maybe instead of working a full 40 hours a week you can take up part-time work, and pay for all the groceries/utilities while your partner handles the rent. instead of splitting 50/50, y'all can try something more like 40/60 or even 30/70 depending on your needs. try to emphasize the good this will do for your physical and mental wellbeing, and if it helps you like it helped me, i would make a structured list going through the pros and cons of your thought process! assuming you begin working less hours, i'd also recommend taking on more housework as a compromise, since you'll be working less. obviously you don't have to do all the housework since you're both still working and it's unfair to expect you to do all the housework while having a job and paying bills. honestly i don't work and my partner still helps with chores and he's responsible for his own laundry and cleaning his own office and stuff, so don't let your partner think you have to take on ALL the household labor while working part time. but still, try to level the division of labor by doing a few more chores, maybe doing the dishes more often, or cooking more often, or cleaning the shared spaces more often as a compromise, since you'll be working less than they are.

there's also a lot of remote work available nowadays! so if your chronic illness makes it difficult for you to work shift work, i would highly suggest finding something where you may work from home. one of my best friends works remote at a call center, where they provided the computer for him, he just had to find a way to pick it up himself, but otherwise he never has to leave his house for his job. there's plenty of jobs like that, so i would definitely try to find work like that if you not working isn't an option, but you want to find work that isn't so taxing on your body!!

sorry i rambled so much, apparently i had much more to say than i thought i did ahah. i really hope things work out for you anon, i'm sending you lots of love. take care of yourself <3

#jade answers #anonymous #it is very scary to talk about these things at first #but i think it's worse to leave things unsaid than to discuss things. even when it feels scary #it is better to list your expectations and your needs! never feel embarrassed for expressing that #even though rest assured i was also embarrassed when trying to express my own needs lol

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7abwis · 1 year

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Talking about the books & comics I’ve read this 2023 so far so they have more staying power in my brain and bc i gotta learn it’s good to appreciate the things you’ve read lest you just kinda zoom from one thing to the next w/o really absorbing it. not tagging them and just putting xs in the name cause i don’t want it to end up in the tags. but also | contains spoilers |. doing this for my own documentation rather than for reccs, so im not gonna attach any warnings to the books - but if you do end up going for them make sure to look it up first.

1. Monster of Elendhxven - Jennifer Gixsbrecht Think I started it a little before the new year but it still counts for 2023. Fun, easy read. Really appreciated how the author could be concise with everything they wanted to say and still convey all the depth and emotion and some of those hard-hitting lines. It’s a short book of a little over a 100 pages.

The slow buildup and shift in audience perspective of Johann being the titular monster to realizing it’s Leikenbloom was really well done. Kanya’s buildup didn’t feel as smooth but that could be attributed to the fact that the story’s mainly Johann’s POV. The metaphors were chef kiss.

Think it did a good job of straddling the dark aspects in a way that was like yeah this is a dark setting with fucked up characters and it all fits together vs violence for violence’s sake without tying it in to the existing themes and motifs and all which isn’t my thing personally. 2. Nxna the Ninth - Txmsyn Mxir ugh ugh ugh love the lxcked tomb series. Every single book is from a radically different pov and a completely different genre and they’re all so good. the family dynamic was so good and cam and pal are my favorites. love nna so much, she was such a good character. there’s something about a character in the most bleak dogshit situations managing to find the beauty and hope in so much despite Everything that’s happening.

in general having the physical manifestation of earth’s soul be so hopeful and having people who were just trying their best take care of her and love her and her in turn loving them is just... good. paul still sucks as a name for cam/pal lol but its fitting to the humor of the story and cam and pal’s own subtler cheekiness so im not mad at it. but even then, i have a feeling before the next book’s end paul will probably die, as cam and pal have technically done so now. the whole series feels tied into the theme of things change, they’re scrambled, shits all so fucked up, and then things never go back to the exact thing they once were, but we adapt and change with them, we adapt and change things ourselves, we fight for the things we want and the things we don’t know we want. and when things come to an end, that’s just the way it is.

gid’s pov came first and we haven’t seen it since (edit: actually let me rephrase bc technically both gid and hxrrow were told through gid’s pov - we haven’t seen gid’s pov WITH her agency intact since the first book. txmsyn making it more complicated as usual lmao, but if you’ve read it you get what i mean), but we haven’t seen hxrrow’s pov with her agency intact since hxrrow, now nxna’s pov will likely not be present at all in the next book. all were different genres, all told through different eyes and cirucmstances, and honestly they’re probably not going to be repeated again. the last book will probably be another different pov (unless mxir pulls a fast one and decides to switch it up by making this last book switch povs from character to character. i wouldn’t put it past her bc she seems to like challenging herself and trying new things) anywho, god love this series. edit: AND WAIT ANOTHER THING! its funny how when you read the first book you’re like yeah gxdeon’s the protag, no bar, and then as you go to hxrrow its like ok wait hxrrow is the dual protag, then you go to nxna and at the end of the day you realize gxdeon _isn’t even really_ the Tried and True One protag in the way that her 1st pov set it up. hxrrow yes bc _everything_ centers around her and yeah gid’s highly important, but its funny how the two highly important characters can be put to the side for a whole book and give the stage to someone else (at least mostly, not including the asides where hxrrow’s in that limbo talking to john) and the plot still moves forward 3. Cretaceous - Tadd Gxlusha

Fun comic, this was definitely one of those things that felt like it helped train my visual literacy for western comics. p much only grew up reading manga in the comics department, so getting older and actually reading western comics and seeing how different the pacing and paneling and different approaches were and getting used to that had a bit more of a learning curve. for a while it felt like i wasn’t absorbing as much of the plot and characterization for things.

but this one being silent definitely helped with that - i was more able to focus on the art itself and what it was conveying than just breezing through it by reading the words. the story was exceedingly clear and the artist did a great job in conveying emotion in realistic dinosaurs. also there was so much clever paneling. 4. Six of Crxws - Lxigh Bardxgo Started off kinda rocky. i don’t often use this word but the intros felt cheesy, felt very underdeveloped YA for a second there. but it improved vastly as it went on when we actually got to properly see the characters in their element. i appreciate the way the different povs gave the audience different bits of info not privvy to the other characters and what they thought of each other vs how they thought the others perceived them.

i really do appreciate that they all felt like completely different characters with completely different goals in mind, and how those goals clashed were interesting. ive seen some writing (and honestly it’s something i have to work on my own stuff) fall into the trap of i Have to make sure the audience knows these are Reasonable Characters who are smart in certain situations bc it’d be stupid if they did this and this, rather than letting the personality of the character and their experiences take over instead and let those stupid decisions happen and let the audience form their own conclusions about it.

felt indifferent towards the romances - though they had a couple good lines, but overall i’ll def be trying to read book 2. probably not gonna bother with the tv show. inxj, jxsper, nxna’s friendship though is very cute. but what i especially will give the book is that once i got past the first part i did want to continue hungrily reading it.

mixed feelings about wylxn because for most of the book he just kind of Existed not doing much and then he was their get out of jail free card. not mad at it bc it fits in with his theme of yknow rich boy who isn’t particularly worldly but at the end of the day there are several things he’s really good at and he will grow a spine when necessary. but at the same time couldn’t form an attachment or find him too compelling yet. will say it is funny that he’s presented the way he is as more timid and unknowing and then you find out all the shit he got in trouble for with his dad. like that’s hilarious. 5. Lxura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me - Mxriko Txmaki Loved the inking and paneling for this comic. the limited color palette choices were so good too. Rosemary Vxlero-O’Connell did such a good job. Overall, just felt like such a natural story, like something you knew that happened to a friend or a friend of a friend. the combination of the writing and paneling worked so well to convey the feelings it needed to. also i really liked how well the artist filled each panel in the establishing shots when they needed to and how natural that felt. that’s something i definitely struggle with and wanna take with me. Aaaand that’s it for now. Next is Nxghtwing: Leaping into the Light, Long Wxy to a Small Angry Plxnet, and if I can get my hands on it without it being checked out 24/7, A Cxurt of Thorns and Rxses

#zab speaks #zabs book club

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