#in fact it's encouraged. im directly and clearly asking you to.

[battydora]

masterlist | rules | pinned post

synopsis: they lose a bet and they have to take a shot from your breasts (inspired by: this tiktok)

cw: suggestive, drabbles, modern au, human hantengu (i refer to them as demons anyways lol), gn. reader (afab), written with a chubby reader in mind, reader has big breasts, pet names, consensual, mentions of alcohol, drinking games, teasing, + sekido's confession

note: i saw that tiktok and can't stop thinking about it, so i decided to do it with hantengu clones, self indulgent because i want to stop feeling insecure about my chest and i need them to drink a shot from my tiddies, yeah that'll do it. i wanted to do this only with sekido but the others can join too bye im so gross about these four (btw sekido is my favourite so his part is longer, i'm not sorry) btw karaku is shamelessly dirty lmao i love him

UROGI

"haha! you lost, urogi!" karaku's voice yelled as he jumped from his seat on the ground, throwing his cards to the table out of excitement.

"ah, screw you, karaku" the joy demon complained, also throwing his cards to the table aswell looking rather annoyed, side eyeing you. he hid the fact of actually being excited about losing a bet, i mean, with a bet like that who would like to win? whatever's the case, he remained calm and collected despite everything.

"oh that's a shame" your voice spoke, sarcasm asserting presence in your tone, you were obviously not against the idea, you agreed this from the very beggining because, come on, how could you not take the chance of any of these four to bury his face into your chest?

you grab the little glass and the bottle of vodka from the table and start serving a shot. the four demons dagged their glares at you as you unbottoned a... suggestive amount of bottons of your shirt, a little smile growing on your face as you -tried to- hide your excitement for the upcoming events. you grabbed the glass and stuck it between your breasts, your hands pushing both of them together so the glass didn't pour. urogi, sekido, aizetsu and karaku looked at you a bit astonished, sekido glares away quickly, aizetsu stares for a few seconds before also looking away and karaku looks at urogi with a devilish grin, almost encouraging him. urogi didn't hesitate and, with a wide smile, walked towards you and knelt infront of you.

"okay babe, are you ready?" he asks, clearly full of confidence, he seemed excited, like a small child who just got gifted a candy.

"i was born ready" you teased pushing your chest closer to him, he flinched slightly, his eyes widen just as his smile in response, however, he was no chicken. his hands were about to hold your waist but karaku stopped him instantly, a grin on his face.

"ah, ah. no hands!" you both look at him, then at eachother. you smirked once again and winked at urogi, challenging, he only chuckled as a response and, with his hands well hid behind his back, he buried his face in your chest. he missed a few times before actually getting to the glass, his tough lips made contact lightly with your chest, making him laugh just a little bit, you bit your lower lip with a grin as you saw him struggle. you giggled as he took the glass out and threw his head back drinking the liquid within the glass, now grabbing it with his hand.

he sighed out a laugh after, shaking his head due to the alcohol burning his throat. he looked directly into your eyes with a wide smirk.

"now that was fun!"

KARAKU

"oh man, come on!" karaku throws his head back as his hands slam the table, grunting at loosing to aizetsu "you cheated!"

"you can't accuse me of that, you cheated in the first place" aizetsu protested, putting his cards down calmly "stick to the consequences"

"yeah, you're no one to speak, karaku" your teasing voice said, as you crossed your arms with a grin, karaku's annoyance dissapeared in less than a second when he shrugged and smiled back at you.

"ah, as if the consequences were so terrible anyways. let me see 'em babe!" he was shameless while asking, you laugh at him before unbottoning your upper buttons, exposing your bare chest only covered by your bra, his eyes and smile widen in excitement, he looked like a puppy.

"you will excuse me" he added taking the bottle and glass to fill it himself and stuck it between your boobs, you laughed at his lewd and fun look on his face when he stared at your chest "cheers!"

those were the last words you heard from him before he buried his face in your breasts, purposefully staying in place for a few seconds wrapping the glass with his mouth to have you close for a little longer.

"get it over with, karaku!" sekido was the one to scold the green eyed for staying there for more time that he should have, not that you minded tho.

so, just to tease both sekido and karaku, your hands pushed your boobs up just so karaku would sink in them even more, his laughter was muffled by his mouth being busy with a glass to then finally pull it away and drink the alcohol within. he took the little glass and chuckled with his precious laugh and looked at sekido.

"in your face, sekido!"he mocked and the red eyed just grunted, looking away. karaku then looked at you "sorry babe, i'm tempted, can i give any of your buddies a hickey?" he shamelessly asked, your eyes widened as you saw from the corner of your eye how sekido and aizetsu grossed out at him, which only made you laugh out loud.

"yes baby boy, go ahead" you heard an annoyed 'oh come on! you're disgusting!' coming from sekido aswell as you heard urogi laughing at the whole situation, granting you some sort of satisfaction, this was fun.

"man, cheating was so so worthy!" karaku cheered to himself before putting his mouth to use again.

SEKIDO

"this is ridiculous, i'm not doing it." sekido is the first one to make an objection against the bet HE accepted.

"oh no! you're not backing away like a coward!" urogi laughs at him, shaking his head.

"yeah, man, you can't bet and then not confront the consequences" karaku backs up urogi, laughing at sekido's face right now, man's infuriated.

"shut up both of you!" he states loudly, crossing his arms, avoiding any sort of eye contact with you, he is denial... and embarassment.

"you accepted the challenge, sekido. don't be a pussy" you say now, your elbow resting on the living room table, your face is one of amusement and your eyes locked on the anger demon. he does not answer to you so karaku speaks again.

"if you're not gonna do it, i will" his grin is devilish, he tries to touch a nerve in sekido. the red eyed demon turns to him absolutely furious, more than he normally is.

"fine, shut up, let's get this over with" he grunts and sighs, karaku laughs at him.

"that's the attitude, i knew you weren't so stubborn to let this chance pass by" urogi teases now, you laugh at all the teasing to the poor sekido and serve the drink in the small glass. the red eyed simply groans and decides to ignore them, now putting his attention solely on you.

he kneels infront of you, his knees glued to eachother and fists sitting on them almost shyly, he frowns at you but then looks down, avoiding looking at you, only for a second until he notices you begin to unbotton your shirt, then is when he becomes nervous, he tries so hard to not look at your chest, he is already so embarassed for doing this and can barely look at you. he can't avoid it any longer and eventually lifts his gaze and takes a look at the glass sitting between your big breasts, a beautiful black bra cupping them so prettily. the view is arousing and makes sekido actually thirsty. you stare at his astonished look and make him snap back by pressing your chest lightly.

"what's the matter? gonna try to chicken out again?" you tease in a playful and sweet voice, making the blush on sekido's face grow wider. he gulps and responds.

"of course not, i'm no coward"

he builds up courage from his own words and leans to your chest, his face flushes in dark red when his skin touches yours as he tries to catch the glass with his mouth and pull it out as soon as possible to end this embarassment. his hand lands on your thigh for support (yeah, support...) squeezing softly before finally pulling out the little thing out of your chest, throwing his head back drinking the alcohol in it. the hand touching you takes the glass and slams it to the table.

"done." yep, you definitely enjoy when he's upset like he is in this very moment, his fanged grimace remaining on place as he returns to his seat, avoiding eye contact with you for the rest of the night, because he knows you're looking at him with that look, that exact look you make when you want to tease someone. not that he feels disgusted, he just doesn't want to lose himself infront of his friends.

later that night, you stay over at the hantengu's place, karaku, urogi and aizetsu went to bed a little bit tipsy from a fun night and you're about to do the same until you come across sekido in the hallway, he is dressing the loose t-shirt and shorts he uses as pijamas, his angered expression looking strangely soft right now, or maybe you are imagining it, the hallway is dark and the alcohol in your system is not entirely gone.

"hey, i just wanted to say, i wouldn't mind taking another shot from that chest of yours anytime" he states confidently but in a low voice, the statement surprises you but you play along, whispering some words in response.

"oh yeah? what changed your mind? you seemed vexed carrying out the bet earlier" you look directly into his deep red eyes, he frowns before answering.

"i don't like being watched, those bastards were putting a lot of pressure, i didn't enjoy it as i wanted to"

"aw you're adorable" you say, smiling playfully. you walk to him, standing only a few centimeters away from him, your hand landing on his muscular chest and going down, teasingly "how about we go to your room and try again? bet you'll enjoy it accordingly this time" his angered expression changes for an instant when a teeth showing grin appears on his face, nodding in agreement.

"i would love to rip off that pretty black bra after"

AIZETSU

"do i really have to do this...?" the sorrow demon asks, as if he could back away now that he is kneeling in front of you, chest on full display, a glass of vodka already waiting for him.

"i mean, can you really chicken out now?" karaku says, chuckling to himself.

"yeah, you have to do it" urogi follows, giggling knowing aizetsu has the fattest crush on you and that this was definitely not in his plans.

"i guess i don't have other choice..."

his lips are twisted in an awkward grimace, his face is red as sekido's eyes, he is so ashamed and embarassed right now, he just wants to end this.

'why do i get myself in these situations...' he thinks to himself, trying not to panic as he leans forward, his hands are shyly sitting on his lap.

he is a sweetheart, he loves you (and desires you) deeply but he will do anything in his power to have the littlest touch with your breasts as possible, even if you consented to this. he is very respectful of you no matter the circumstances. however, he kinda fails his commitment because the glass is unfairly buried in your chest (you did that on purpose to tease him, poor thing) so he had a hard time getting it. after some hard work, he finally manages to pull the glass out and drink the alcohol within, his face is red as ever and his eyes avoid yours at all costs.

"d-done, i'm going to my room now, excuse me"

"oh, aizetsu, man come on! it's okay!" urogi tries to cheer him up but the blue eyed already headed to his room, you start to feel lowkey bad for him, what if he didn't like it?

"i feel bad now... was that really okay? he seemed upset" you say with a guilty tone, furrowing your brows, thinking you might've ruined the night for aizetsu.

"no babe don't feel bad! ... i'm not sure if we should tell you this but-" karaku begins to talk but is soon shut by sekido interrupting him.

"the dumbass has a crush on you, it's so dang obvious" he grunts crossing his arms, his revelation actually surprised you, i mean aizetsu kinda hit on you in past situations but you may not have noticed it because his signals were a bit subtle, so it wasn't so obvious for you, maybe to them it was because they're his closest friends.

"oh... is that so?" you ask, still a bit shocked.

"yeah" karaku speaks again "so, if i were you, i would check on him" he smiles rising a brow at you with a smug smile, clearly suggesting you should have some alone time with the blue eyed.

"yeah! we won't bother you" urogi chuckles, winking at you.

"just don't make too much noise or i'm kicking you out" sekido adds, frowning.

you try to hide your blushing face laughing amusingly at them, you loved these dorks so much, supporting you in this whole thing, maybe the night isn't exactly ruined, more seems like it just begins.

thanks for reading!

#[ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ] ≫captain’s library #sekido my beloved i love him #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer smut #kimetsu no yaiba smut #kny smut #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kny x reader #kny x you #hantengu x reader #urogi x reader #karaku x reader #sekido x reader #aizetsu x reader #hantengu clones #hantengu #urogi #karaku #sekido #aizetsu

[mvthr]

PSA (kinda?)

It is with great misfortune that I have to write this up today, but I feel like if I don’t do this now I will chicken out (lol). Thanks so much to all of the people who responded to my poll and have shown me so much love and support thus far. It’s thanks to you that I’ve been brave enough to post this. 💜

I’ve never had to do anything like this before so I apologize ahead of time if it’s a mess (and for typos lol). Moreover, part of me knows that I will upset a few people with this rant, but I don’t have much to lose at this point seeing as my character as a person is already being threatened. Mind you I was never going to name drop but seeing as the people in question are expecting some sort of war now I’m not sure what else to do. I think the only adult way to go about any sort of issue is to talk it out, but seeing as I wasn’t given much of an opportunity for that by the people in question I’m going to resort to this to detail my experience. 

I am going to both type out the discord ims I have as backing evidence and link screenshots for further context. 

Long story short, I’ve felt personally victimized by a discord mun/admin who currently goes by the alias of Beanie. Their bestie and fellow admin, who currently goes by the alias of Al, is unfortunately partly to blame for being willfully blind to her actions and thus encouraging them. In their eyes, I’m being petty for “an admin not wanting to write with me” but in reality I’m finally trying to voice my concerns and point out ongoing actions that straight up aren’t okay. It’s just a shame that I couldn’t properly do so directly now that I finally mustered up the courage. 

There is a lot to tell with regards to this story but I’m going to focus on the most recent event as to not rant on and on or bore anyone. Basically I was ostracized and somewhat gaslit by Beanie while in the discord rp Unyhq, which was founded by Al. It all started Friday night when I realized that I couldn’t react to any of her posts. I refreshed discord several times and even switched devices thinking it was an app error. I had no issues with anyone else’s so I started to get a bad feeling about things. Mind you, I admittedly didn’t have the best rp experience with either muns prior (they also voiced being blacklisted and having psa’s out about them in a prior group I was in with them which I am mentally slapping myself for overlooking) and felt a bit intimidated by Beanie more often than not. It was my mistake to take this laying down in the past and perhaps not being as direct as I should’ve been with those particular admins. That part I take full accountability for, as I should’ve focused less on wanting to please everyone and faced the inevitable confrontation. Nonetheless, I figured the unique plot and low key vibe could be worth giving everyone another shot. (Second chances are big thing for me.) 

To continue, I messaged another member of the group and asked them to try and react and saw they had no issues with it. After that, and a short chat, it was easy to deduce that I had been soft blocked. This came as a surprise to me seeing as I had seemingly ended on neutral terms with Beanie and had a brief convo with her months prior where she assured there was no bad blood (also featured in the screenshots). I tried to message Beanie personally about the situation and see why she would block me out of the blue but clearly couldn’t since she...well...had me blocked. I didn’t want to drag anyone else into whatever was happening so I optimistically started a plotting thread for us in the group server thinking that perhaps it was an accident. That’s when I received a message from Al hours later stating that Beanie did have me blocked and leading to the following back and forth: 

AL: “hi b, just shooting you a little dm letting you know that beanie does in fact have you blocked and is not comfortable with interacting with you one on one. i’m not privy to all the details and while i like writing with both of you and want both of you in the server, im not going to force anyone to interact with someone they’re not fully comfortable with. to ensure that everything remains comfortable, im going to be deleting your message to her in the plotting channel. hope you understand”

ME: “hi there! I’m not sure why i was blocked when i never did anything to her?? i would appreciate it if she maybe just let me know what happened in private instead of this but idk?? it makes me feel really anxious that an admin won’t even give me the time of day without reason

When she unfriended me i asked if everything was okay and she said yes (which i can share if necessary) so for her to block me out of the blue afterwards makes me feel really bad

to be honest we never really interacted much so idk what reason there would be to just shut me out without explanation 😭

like i would never want to make anyone uncomfortable or anything like that but i do feel like i deserve an explanation rather than just being ostracized seeing as it’s a group?? but yeah idk I’m just feeling really sad and anxious now”

AL: “i understand and i'm sorry that it's making you anxious. beanie is most likely asleep right now but i will talk to her when i wake up and see if she'd be willing to have a conversation with you and talk it out.

just straight up from my point of view though, and i don't mean to say this to point fingers and accuse anyone but just to help make sense of it all, the way that you and [redacted] reacted in the society about rune and cade having a baby was uncomfortable and straight up felt passive aggressive at points ?? and you guys left right after that and not long after rpsense was sent an ask about us <https://rpsense.tumblr.com/post/713226551533223936/how-about-that-connecticut-mystery-discord-rpg> particularly singling out rucade which is :/

i want to stress that i'm not pointing fingers and i hold no ill will towards either you or [redacted], but i hope that helps you understand why beanie's a little bit apprehensive about it all. still, i will talk to her and see if she would be willing to talk.”

**Let’s pause for a second to point out how she says my reaction (which was nothing but surprise seeing as Beanie didn’t seem on board with pregnancy plots when myself and another mun planned to do it for our characters) was passive aggressive while also trying to implicate myself and another mun over a drama blog comment anonymously made about them? I’m sorry that was very much accusatory and uncalled for. If I really had it out for them like they want to believe I would’ve just made a post on my main blog from the get go, and that’s something anyone who truly knows me can back up. But I guess it’s just easier to paint me as a villain than maybe admit they too are flawed. Anywho let’s continue:**

ME: “I understand where you guys are coming from but prior to the rp i didn’t even know what rpsense was and stated so (i don’t think i ever got clarification which is why i assumed it had something to do with jcink or Twitter rp) thus for there to even be an assumption it was me or even pointed in my direction is wild to me lmao. like at 25 years old i can assure you that i have better things to do than to send random messages on anon to a blog i didn’t even know existed until then

there were def some things that made me (and from what others voiced to be) uncomfortable with the big focus on that ship but seeing as you guys were admins i kinda felt it was inevitable. it did for a hot minute feel like idk thunder stealing but overall i left due the issues i had muse wise with benji after the death thing

i just really struggled to recover from that due to having dealt with something similar irl at around the same time. It became so triggering to the point i decided to leave for my own mental health. with regards to [redacted], i messaged her prior to leaving and from my understanding she left due to feeling overworked [redacted]

but yeah i kinda wish beanie would’ve just come to me about it instead of blocking me. like i would’ve (and still am) happy to discuss whatever assumptions or apprehensions she’s had in place of a situation like this. i mean i don’t see why someone who supposed talked shit about y’all, would wanna stay in a group with you guys and try so hard to be peaceful instead of just blocking and moving on but that is just my two sense on the topic.

i don’t think we were the only ones who eventually left nor were taken aback by some of those things you mentioned but yeah all i can say that it wasn’t me and i don’t think [redacted] would waste her time with that either. i swear that’s not me shading others but yeah it’s just still a shock to me that assumption was made?? but i guess i could see why from her POV it would be easier to push the blame on me timing wise lmao”

ME (after several hours of no reply despite activity in the group server): “hi there!! sorry to spam but i wanted to know if there was still gonna be a follow up on this?? i would ask Beanie myself but still have not way to contact her and don’t wanna bring someone else into the mix. I just feel really sad because i fee l like I’ve been incriminatd over something that has nothing to do with me. like i apologize if i ever gave anyone any reason to dislike me but it kinda feel like anger towards some random person or comment is being projected onto me without any validity? or than maybe there is just a reach to make me feel excluded?? idk I’ve just being feeling really uncomfortable and semi attacked since yesterday when all i wanted was to get along with everyone in a rp i was excited about.”

AL:“hi b, i'm still having a conversation with beanie about it (i just woke up like an hour ago 😭 ) and i'll update you asap!!”

ME: “no worries!! thanks for the update. i just hate the situation overall and let my anxiety get me. thus i forgot about timezones 😭”

AL: “hi b, beanie has communicated w me that she is not comfortable unblocking you or talking to you and i'm not going to make her do so. those are her boundaries and i respect them. she has also said that the anon didn't really influence her decision -- the main thing beanie is uncomfortable with is when you two were threading with benji and rune and benji implied that rune trying going to take advantage of him. while i understand this was most likely an in-character choice and an exploration of grief, from my understanding it was not discussed beforehand and made beanie uncomfortable. 

while it would be ideal for her to approach you herself and have a one on one conversation and clear things up, it is something she isn't currently comfortable with and i'm not particularly comfortable enforcing. i would love for everyone in a group to get along and write with each other, but realistically it's just not possible and i don't expect it to be.  beanie is one member out of many.”

**Let’s do another pause here. For reference Rune was Beanie’s muse and Benji was mine. While in societyfm I was blindsided by the ic death of a character related to Benji. During that time, I was grieving a similar situation and was very much triggered. However, seeing as the ball was already rolling and everyone ate up the plot I felt obligated to play along or otherwise be painted as a party pooper. While I was perhaps not as direct about my discomfort as I should’ve been (I was grieving and kinda expected a similar situation to this occurring if I confronted the main mun about it let alone Beanie), I did however mention/demonstrate being uncomfortable with the overall topic and its impact on my muse (even reaching out to the other admins/members at the time) but that’s a story for another day. Back to the thread she mentioned, we plotted (vaguely) to have Rune stumble upon a heavily inebriated and grieving Benji to somehow have them make amends. From my memory, Rune pulls him up and close to her from the ground and mentions taking him home to her residence instead of his own, to which he replied “are you trying to take advantage of me?” Let’s keep in mind this was a joke and the thread was left without response from there. I also interacted with Beanie ooc multiple times to not a single complaint about this or anything in my field. Now I definitely see how that could be taken out of context and perhaps was distasteful on my part and apologize for it. However the fact that it only became an issue all these months later is what seemed odd.**

ME: “yeah that’s a random thing to me because it was never brought up at all until now and idk timing wise it feels a little sus?? at this rate it really looks like she’s just looking for any reason to not have to talk to me and it’s very disheartening coming from an admin. if we are being real there a few things she had done as well that rubbed me the wrong way a bit but i didn’t take it as far as blocking her after making amends or trying to make me look bad by associating me with some random blog i have nothing to do with. but yeah if you don’t want to mediate this and she’s not willing to communicate in and adult manner then idk what else to do lmao. like I’m being punished for something petty and not even being given a chance to defend myself or improve which is incredibly messed up. I mean i legit had and irl traumatic trigger turned into the main plot of the last group but I’m not going as far as this 😭

it honestly wouldn’t have bothered me as much if she was just any other member but this kind of thing coming from an admin is extremely disheartening. especially when it’s a public group?? like what’s the point of even being in a group with me if she’s just going to act like i don’t exist over things that are beyond my knowledge?? idk i am just getting a weird vibe that i don’t think is fair to me or my actions. so yeah idk what to do at this point since she’s clearly made up her mind about excluding me and finding *reasons* to do so

refusing to coexist with someone and going out of your way to do so as an admin in a public group is just really saddening. despite it all i would’ve never done something like that to her and just want her to know that. but yeah at this rate it feels like my experience in a group is being tarnished by things that are beyond me and it’s very unfortunate. at this rate i can just leave because it’s not worth the stress and i am not going to stick around where someone claims i make them uncomfortable. 🙃

okay this is the last message i promise lol. but i already left the server so you guys can have peace of mind. that’s not to say I think any of this is fair in any way shape or form as adults, but i don’t think it’s worth the stress and i won’t stick around when someone clearly doesn’t want me around. however i will say that i don't understand how beanie or anyone is feeling uncomfortable with something being *said* about or to her character without prior discussion when benji had a whole sibling killed off, in part to her insistence, and no one gave me a heads up lol. in fact, everyone at it up at my expense and yet she can get away with acting this way to me?? that’s not right al. the policing of my reactions about how they were being treated because i didn't treat her muse *the right way* is **not** okay. but yeah i digress. nevertheless, best of luck to y’all. it’s a shame i couldn’t be a part of it again but maybe that’s for the best 🤷🏽‍♀️”

AL: “frankly, b, i was going to leave this message unanswered because i feel as if though this conversation is just going around in circles. if she made you uncomfortable or rubbed you the wrong way, then you would be well within your rights to block her as well. i would not have forced you to interact with her if you had done so. if you had come to me with your issues privately, i would've been happy to step in and help resolve them. 

your messages are needlessly aggressive towards beanie in this situation. people are allowed not to like you or interact with you -- even if said person is an admin. she has not, from my pov, refused to coexist with you: she has merely refused to interact with you one on one or plot with you. her reasons for being uncomfortable with you have been kept private and only shared with me because i asked. she has not purposefully gone out of her way to be rude or hostile to you either ic or ooc: she simply does not wish to interact with you, so she has blocked you. if you had stayed in the rp, both me and lucky would be available to you in an admin capacity and you would have a plethora of other members willing to interact with you.

as for your point about the society: i am truly sorry that happened and it is a failing of mine as an admin. i had (wrongly) assumed that m would have communicated her plans with you, as that is something that is expected of grown writers in a closed group settings. in hindsight, i should have checked in with you and i am sorry that i didn't. you did not vocalise your discomfort at the start of the plotdrop, and when you did i went the extra mile to incorporate a time skip for your comfort. i also don't know why this is being brought up with regards to beanie? beanie was not an admin at the time of the plotdrop (so she had no input in it) nor was she the only one excited for it.”

***End***

That’s where it all wraps up because just like Beanie, Al didn’t even give me a chance to speak up or say my peace before blocking me (let’s note that i had already left the group by then and said my goodbyes/explained why I was leaving to members i had either active plots or threads with. the narrative they are spinning that it was at random or to get a reaction out of new members is frankly untrue.) I get that I could’ve maybe been a bit more passive towards the end but I do think it’s valid seeing as my feelings and the moral of my message was never validated. Al was quick to defend Beanie and let her say, do, or believe anything she wanted with regards to me but when I said my side and tried to defend myself I was “needlessly aggressive” towards a toxic individual that should’ve been held accountable for their actions and set a better example as an admin. I hate to break it, but refusing to communicate with someone IS refusing to coexist with them and I will not be convinced of otherwise, nor will I allow myself to be stomped over and gaslit for defending myself/calling out inappropriate actions. 

That’s all I’m going to say about this for now as it’s really just to get my side known instead of what’s being inferred without context or my explanation. I don’t expect a fair fight in this nor am I trying to cancel anyone. All I wish is for those involved to be held accountable for their own wrongdoings as I am holding myself accountable for my own. We’re all human and in the year 2023 we should be doing our best to grow and become better people. I’m going to take this as a learning experience and hope everyone else does too. 💜

>p.s. I have been made aware of the discrepancies and pointed accusations in Al’s response and I am not going to entertain it. They are welcome to come to their own defense however they wish and I cannot/will not deny them of that. However, I will say that the additional pieces of *evidence* they have brought forwards are very much out of context. The fact they never posted the full extent of those messages, omitted their past with similar psa’s/callouts/situations, didn’t mention how seemingly intimidating said admin was/is, how they encouraged bubble rping, insist they did me a favor by blindly throwing me into an uncomfortable situation, lied about how I went about saying my goodbyes after leaving the group and why, had their friends send me hate BEFORE I made anything public, continue to bash me in their defense despite asking me to leave the topic and them alone publicly, etc, is very telling. 🤷🏽‍♀️

#rp psa #rph #rpc #tumblr rp #rpt #rpc psa #psa #long post #mobile post #i really hate this situation overall but i had to say my piece #really hope we can all grow and thrive as a community soon enough #rant #discord roleplay #tw gaslighting #tw rp drama #tw mentions of death #tw alchohol mention #ok to reblog #unyhq #societyfm

[the-hellsing-organisation]

Ordinarily I do not indulge in callout posts, unless a person's mental health might be in serious danger - and it's not a petty lie somebody made up, providing no screenshots, or simple ones taken out of context.

I have received multiple messages now, proving to me that the Hellsing Discord server 'The Hellsing Fanserver' lead by 'Artillery' is unfortunately a place people need to be warned about.

While everyone could assure me they do offer good scans of the Hellsing manga, the members of the server indulged in:

- Purposefully misgendering people

- Making fun of triggers, trans people and people with severe mental illnesses

- Purposefully using triggers against other server members

- Manipulating other people to use the triggers against the person they concern and shifting the blame on them afterwards

- Bringing explicit sexual themes to a server with minors

Afterwards they would celebrate their 'success', making fun of the people they hurt.

The so called 'trolling' (though I wouldn't dare to call such a hurtful behaviour this) was encouraged on the server, so I would deem it an unsafe environment for everyone whose mental health might be affected by such things.

Please be careful if these things concern you and please do not encourage such behaviour.

It's not only hurtful, it is downright cruel.

The invitations, though the links are expired.

Here you see some of the accounts that were directly involved.

Please be careful.

Tumblr Accounts

Discord Accounts

I can only assume alts mean something like alternative accounts he and his friends created in order to do these things, engaging others on the server to do the same.

He then proceeds to share the success of the hurtful behaviour on before mentioned Discord server, commenting such:

^ The “he” they are referring to is a demi girl. And yes, on the other server the pronouns are clearly stated and everyone is asked to respect them.

He is downright admitting openly to have his friends manipulated other people to use the triggers against another person.

(For context: A server members triggers were ‘Borderlands” and ‘Kingdom Hearts’.

He stated this trigger a few hours before and unfortunately the mod, after a sleepless night, was unable to memorise it during that time so ‘Abd’ took advantage of it.

Another mod quickly drew attention to her mistake and of course she apologised to the person she triggered and was forgiven.)

Unfortunately many screenshots - involving the sexual advances and the 'making fun of transgenders' are missing due to the default ban option of the server, but several eye witnesses were able to confirm them.

There was a person pretending to be a transwoman to make fun of transpeople (The person was introducing themselves like: ‘Hello, I am a man, my pronouns are he/him, but I wish to be a woman’ It didn’t sound very genuine to the trans people on the server), people making up all sorts of triggers to make fun of people who have triggers, a person pretending to be a kin, and people, who were trying to spread paedophilic messages with spreading the news that ‘age is just a number’.

And in case people still believe it was an accident:

They deliberately threaten people and plan to hurt them, while making fun of their triggers.

I’m truly lost for words…

For everyone who didn’t know: It is not your place to judge triggers and for the love of God, please don’t make fun of them.

You don’t know the history behind them. It’s good if you have none yourself, it really is, but it shouldn’t make you blind to another person’s suffering.

And you certainly shouldn’t encourage other people to “hunt” people with triggers “down” and “go to war” against them.

Also the owner of server is openly hostility against lgbtq + people - especially trans people - , PoC and antisemitic jokes are the norm there.

They too use nationalist-socialist symbols as emojis in their servers, so people who are triggered by such symbols should be careful.

“Jew Alert”

Blaming one group for the action of singular people should us remind too much of darker parts in history.

I know people with the same experience, that doesnt mean they should actively seek out ot destroy the mental health of all trans people, because one of them hurt them.

Let the submitted texts speak for themselves.

And just in case if anybody believes those are fake:

As soon as Satan saw them, he pmed another person:

Those screenshots are real. They are not fake, like he claims they are and he admits that making fun of trigger and trans people was part of his “troll introductions”.

And just in case anybody is wondering if there are truly toxic trolls on this server? This is a submission I got:

When the original is:

Im sorry.

What they did should speak for itself, but don't try to add lies here. Lies that are obviously having their origin in the server itself.

If you still believe the attacks on this blog didn't come from the server:

This is what Artillery posted as soon as he found this post.

After this the attacks started [as you can see here], so don't tell me your server is not responsible and keep your NSFW implications out of a server with minors and away from this blog!

Also you being an immigrant has nothing to do with the fact, that your server is not safe for minors, lgtbq+ people - especially transpeople - people with trauma and poc.

Even if you claims are real - your and your friends prejudices against the other groups remain.

Satan apologised openly and promised to take better care of people mental health.

The emojis however will remain, though we have been told they have specific channels for offensive jokes.

“In our discussions with the tumblr group, we realized that the situation was far more complicated than we realized. There is a a third party, not associated with us or the tumblr group, who is deliberately spreading false information with the presumed agenda of causing drama and conflict between us. With this in mind, we've agreed the best course of action is to mutually end the escalation of conflict and apologize for what occured. Following that, I want to again make clear that nobody should be going after the tumblr group, their discord server, or anywhere other online spaces. We don't know where the tumblr trolls came from, but we do not support them. Their statements were racist, antisemitic, and violent. What we did in their server was wrong and a mistake. 

I want to personally apologize to a few specific people for what happened. Their server got raided, and during all of it we did not take their mental health into account, causing a lot of people to have panic attacks. Their triggers were invalidated, and people were manipulated. There were also a lot of innapropriate and offensive statements involved. While many things happened without my knowledge, it spiraled out of control because of the initial server raid, and I want to offer my sincerest apologies for that, and for everything else.”

Update:

He lied. He doesn’t regret anything.

Do you remember how he claimed he never ordered an attack on anybody?

Yes.... that was a lie.

He did plan to attack, though one member - the one they would later throw out of the admin team stopped him from attacking more people.

It should have given us red flags they would ban the only member from the team who was actively against the bullying.

And as we see here they did attack the second time as soon as the opportunity arouse when Artillery were sending people after us after saying we should suck his d*.

So he didnt learn a thing. Please survivors stay save.

#Hellsing Fandom #Hellsing Discord #Discord #Warning #call out post #callout post

[nooneandeveryone]

Dark prompt request if possible please for collectkin! “I’ll do anything.” with blackmail. I was having fun thinking of this then got fucking rocked when I realized that in Time Alone it would’ve been possible for Asa to record everything with Arkin... IM SWEATING

YEAH YOU BETTER SWEAT!

OKAY. This fucker has dub-con and oral.

You ready?

You sure?

Okay.

The footage was green and grainy. Night vision.

There was enough detail to make out the two figures on the ground. It was what happened a few days before. The video was cut to only include when Arkin was on top. The whole thing was cut to make it look like he was the freak’s *willing* lover. He even added a clip of the first time in the shower room.

It did not look good. It made him look like his lover and accomplice.

When the tape finished, the masked man ejected it and held it up so Arkin could see it. It was labeled with his name. He then made a show of dropping it into a padded envelope and sealing it.

Arkin recognised the address already written on it.

He stopped short of just charging at the man. He had a metal collar welded shut on his neck, attached to a ten foot chain. Infuriatingly, the man stayed just out of reach.

“Don’t you fucking do it,” Arkin growled.

The man turned to the door.

For the lack of any better idea, he began yelling abuse at him. Both insulting his masculinity and detailing which organ Arkin wanted to tear out of him.

The man didn’t respond, he simply took another step toward the door.

Arkin could tell some of what he yelled got to him. The man’s shoulders tensed up and the way he held his head was different. But it wasn’t enough to make him turn his attention back on Arkin.

“Stop!” he yelled as loud as he could. He hated how desperate he sounded.

But, the man stopped short of the door and looked back at him.

Arkin’s stomach sunk before he even got the words out. “I’ll do anything…”

The man began to walk back toward him. His body language switched from tense to curious. He stopped a few feet away but within the area Arkin could reach. The man said nothing.

Of course, it would be too much to hope for the man to just tell him what he wanted. Arkin gritted his teeth. “Just tell me!”

Neither of them moved or spoke for a long time.

Finally, Arkin tried a new tactic. “Come here,” he said gently. To his astonishment, the man moved forward, he tossed the envelope aside and well out of Arkin’s reach. Then he stood there, directly in front of Arkin.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked, as clearly as he could. His voice had gotten shaky.

The man shifted his weight, he looked down then at Arkin.

And Arkin realized exactly what he wanted. “...okay. I do this and nobody else watches that tape. You won’t show anyone?”

A slight nod, a nod he’d seen from the man a million times before. That was a yes.

Jesus Christ, what am I doing? Arkin thought to himself. He knelt down, cursing the rush of excitement he felt. He reached up and carefully opened the man’s pants.

The man was already hard, which really didn’t even surprise Arkin anymore. The murderer liked him for reasons Arkin still tried not to think about. Even as he hesitantly brushed his lips to the tip of the man’s cock.

Arkin felt a shiver go through the man, which prompted him to part his lips and draw in the tip. The man’s breathing was already shaky and Arkin had barely done anything!

It emboldened Arkin enough that he put his hands on the man’s hips to draw him closer. The man moved stiffly, as if unsure of what he should do. It was another odd thing to add to the ever growing list of strange things Arkin noticed about the man.

Little sounds of pleasure left the man and Arkin hated how *encouraged* he felt. He tentatively drew the man’s dick in fully. This wasn’t an area he had a lot of experience in, so he went off what he personally liked. Drawing his tongue up and down the underside of his cock.

He pulled back to focus on the head of his dick. The man’s breathing changed to small gasps and another shiver went through him. Arkin felt a jolt of pleasure himself; he was making him react, he was forcing sounds out of him. It was ridiculous. He shouldn’t like this.

Just wanting to hear him make noise, Arkin sped up. It quickly devolved into something frantic. He pulled at the man’s hips, making him thrust despite the fact the man had barely moved since he started.

The man was moaning. Then mixed in with that moan, Arkin heard his name. It caught him so off-guard he choked on the man’s dick. Then that choking set off an orgasm in the man. The man’s hands went to hold Arkin’s head in place as he came. Arkin was too stunned to do more than let it happen.

When he was done, the man fell to his knees in front of Arkin. After a moment, he peeled his mask off.

Arkin had seen his face before, briefly. This felt different, it made the monster seem more human. He was still breathing heavily.

He should use this opening to attack him. He could wrap this chain around his neck and it’d be over. He could kill him. Right now.

What Arkin did was grab hold of the man’s shirt and pull him into a kiss.

#jo does fanfic #collectkin #it didn't end like I thought it would but hey #it works #notsfw

[blookmallow]

im looking at the imdb trivia page for hereditary, heres some stuff i learned, spoilers

- alex wolff was fully prepared to actually break his own nose for real but they didnt let him (the desk was actually cushioned)

- you can see the chalkboard in joan’s car when she tells annie about the seance, meaning she actually had just bought it and it was not her grandson’s (which then asks the question, who was using the chalk?? i guess it would have to be paimon, which could be part of the reason it was so distressing to annie)

- the cult symbol is carved on the telephone pole as peter and charlie pass by on the way to the party; everything was either fate, or had already been carefully planned

- also evidently one of the cultists at the end was one of peter’s friends previously. im absolutely obsessed with these kinds of just. completely chilling details that arent even directly addressed but hits you like a train when you realize what it means, because that implies even peter’s friend was helping all this happen to him and god knows how many other people in his life. i dont know if it was the same friend but there was someone encouraging him to come to the party, its completely possible even that was planned and manipulated behind the scenes

- its not worded very clearly on imdb im not sure if it was direct confirmation from ari aster or not but it seems “charlie endangering herself recklessly was in fact paimon’s influence trying to get her killed” was the intention, I Got It Right

#apparently what happened to charlie was very much kept secret from audiences until it came out like not alluding to it in the trailers etc #but im uhh personally really glad i knew bc i think if i hadnt been prepared for it my heart woulda fuckin stopped #which was probably the intent its supposed to be incredibly shocking but #i needed a warning on that one and even then it was. it was a hard film to watch

[lyeekha]

In the mirror he could see Ernest stood behind him, tie tucked safely into his vest, sleeves rolled up and a towel slung over one shoulder. He had ushered Lemony to a seat with a headrest, politely remaining in eyeline and not making any surreptitious-looking movements. He had removed his suit jacket and pointed out that, really, you needed to be topless for this, and Lemony had said oh yes, of course, as if this had slipped his mind instead of caused him to hesitate, and taken off his shirt, and nobody had made a fuss about it, and he had actually relaxed, and now Ernest was rubbing something into his neck that smelt... incredible. It smelt of summer.

The manager was obviously skilled, that hadn't been a lie. His palms worked the oil across his flesh with just the right firmness and friction to make his skin tingle. His fingertips pressed confidently into the exact hollows that made him hum with appreciation. He wanted more than anything to drift off and allow himself to be looked after, but Lemony was still playing the game. He had to be. As casually as possible, he watched Ernest's reflection. The man seemed totally absorbed in his work. In fact, Ernest looked more peaceful than he had ever seen him before. The enigmatic smile didn't seem as forced, though still impenetrable. A slight, strange frown of concentration was on his brow. Something ancient stirred in the back of Lemony's mind. He could believe that this was a genuine pleasure for Ernest, no matter what other motives were in play. The attraction of a simple, intimate, uncomplicated, repetitive task. Lemony cleared his throat and summoned a more jovial tone.

Thank you!!! (Pick a passage or comic chapter of mine for commentary)

this ones from Double Edged so, spoilers for that. sorry if its too much and maybe incomprehensible i just wrote everything i thought in a stream

The idea of rival spies in a truce having an unspoken etiquette about making sure the other person can see what they’re doing clearly at all times really amused me and also seemed like a natural progression for people who just, Live Like This all the time. Kind of like the body language animals develop to deliberately signal trust and lack of threat? Like when cats do the long blink or prey animals make a big show of laying down near you. Of course then you have it as a reassuring gesture, and that gesture being false, and I’ve set myself up for the whole rest of the thing to be about successfully and realistically (enough) distracting Lemony without him noticing.

Humans are the animals that do this too, of course. it is the same thing as normal body language just made more pointed. I have Ernest as having complete control over his body language and complete observation of everyone elses, in a Derren Brown type reading/manipulation style.

I like slipping dialogue into the narration here because it cuts out a lot of stuff that’s boring to read and skips a bit of time by having Lemony reflect on things that have just happened. the whole thing is in past tense but this is like, a few minutes further past tense than everything else. Means I can just put the pertinent things. Also it was very important for this bit to happen very fast so that you get his POV sense of being swept along with ‘naturally unfolding’ events. It buries the fact that Ernest now has possession of Lemony’s jacket by making the second half of that sentence much more engaging and interesting looking and easy to move on to - which is exactly what Ernest is doing by saying something distracting as he performs the natural gesture. It’s all about giving the reader the same experience as Lemony, that’s the goal for this one.

Lem is a bit nervous about taking clothes off - which is reasonable, actually - but also he’s a bit precious about it in general because of a lifetime habit of showing skin equalling danger (tattoo) and being vulnerable (without disguise or situation-appropriate clothing). I’m thinking of socks and the symbolic importance of clothes in atwq, the reliance on the disguise kit forever, the scene-appropriate netflix outfits to blend in all the time. That’s whats canon anyway - this all also contributes to my headcanon of trans Lemony, and I made sure to imply top surgery scars in the illustration. Again, vital to remember that its Lem’s POV (even though it’s not in first person), so ‘nobody made a fuss about it’ both tells you his relief that no comment about his body (whether salacious or surprise or mockery) was made and cements that he was nervous in the first place. 

Of course Ernest wouldnt say anything, or even visibly react at all. He is a practiced expert of the service industry.

This is also in contrast with Jacques, who has complete confidence in showing skin. Lem feigning absent-mindedness to disguise hesitation feeds into the overall ongoing thing of Lemony trying to be smooth, and I reckon hes’s coping by pulling directly from how he’s seen Jacques act. This whole seductive wiles angle isn’t really Lemony’s scene and his awkward phrasing and justifications in his own thoughts about it reflects this. Pretending to be going along with stuff he can do, but the playful flirty aspect is different and throws him a bit. So its pretty much all from what he knows of J’s playbook. Of course Ernest isn’t fooled by the faux casualness, and Lemony knows he isnt, but its the polite etiquette to go along with face value that makes everyone more comfortable. Lot of that in this fic. 

‘and he had actually relaxed’ the word ‘actually’ implying his surprise as he’d been intending to only pretend to relax - same with ‘that hadn’t been a lie’, as in, well *that* at least was true. Lem is double checking literally everything Ernest says. The fact that he is actually a practiced masseuse sells the idea to Lemony that this is not just a ruse to get his top off or whatever. And at the same time reassures the reader that Lem is not actually being a complete idiot - he is constantly suspicious of everything as always, and remains so throughout

It smelt of summer.... I wanted a feeling more than a specific scent. Its how it makes him feel. He can’t pinpoint it exactly because its too evocative. To me, smelling of summer evokes warm spice and mango. Also, the sudden switch from a factual barrage to slow and conceptual is a strong feeling. 

The fast pacing and then the sudden slow at the end of the paragraph like a sigh. Like the feeling of being swept along and then being a bit bewildered, bit ‘i can’t beleive this is actually happening’, bit ‘how did i get here’, bit proper relaxing. 

Then slow and meandering pacing, to match Ernest’s hands. Palm oil. Flesh Firmness Friction.

Ernest said pointedly earlier that the mirror was for Lemony to watch him, to feel safe. So he is well aware - and is in fact encouraging - that Lemony study his reflection at this point. However, I hope I managed to get a good genuine vibe in here. Ernest enjoys this, and is finding it relaxing. Probably the actual genuine feeling from him is a huge advantage to calming Lemony down, Lem can probably pick up on fakeness very well subconsciously, so the verisimilitude is Ernest’s best weapon. Also, he wants for selfish reasons. He doesn’t get physical contact because of his position, and when he does its not someone that understands why. And Lemony understands him. And he understands Lemony. Better than most on their respective sides do. Lem even acknowledges in his own narration - 'genuine pleasure... no matter what other motives were in play’ - that the truth and the trick are not mutually exclusive. he gets it.

Very intentional focus on enigmatic smile and brow in quick succession, which happens repeated through the story - yes we are invoking Ellington this fic, more quietly at first and then stronger later. A stirring of something ancient, you might say. 

And yes, the mind naturally wanders to other simple, intimate, uncomplicated, repetitive tasks and he has to shut that line of thought down immediately, something Lemony gets increasingly worse at doing as the fic goes on. Shoving words like ‘pleasure’ and ‘stirring’ and that technically accurate description together heavily implies Lem’s growing arousal. Just to really spell that out. Just in case. If it’s missed it would be there subliminally enough im sure.

Thanks for asking and a great choice of section, I havent read this commentary back so here it is have it immediately before i remember what i forgot and edit forever

#tangentiallly #my fic #asoue #lemony snicket #ernest denouement #lemzest

[swampgallows]

its been a long time since i was actually personal about anything on my blog because i have too large of an ‘audience’ here now but i dont have a ‘personal’ (this is my personal lol) and i dont get to talk to my therapist for another month so im venting here.

covid has put me at odds with my raver friends. there is a very distinct line in the sand drawn between people who respect other people and people who dont, now, because the fact of the matter is that people’s selfish behavior is killing people. and it’s really fucking insulting and annoying that they’ll rattle off statistics and numbers (which are all copy pasted), trying to justify their behavior. sorry but attending a 1000 person rave even before los angeles had fully opened up is selfish and dangerous. i would give them more credit if they were just honest about “well im vaccinated and i want to party so there”, but adding insult to injury by trying to make it seem like i’m being unreasonable has deterred me from feeling close with them. if youre going to do something that you know is wrong, just own it. youre not “underground” and “sticking it to the man” by putting people in your own community in danger.

one of my friends in particular has been doing this a very long time, where if you disagree with them then they think all you need is more convincing. it would be manipulative if it wasnt so naive. 

i am sick of feeling like i’m just being a paranoid spoilsport who is ‘jealous’ of my friends being cavalier about going out, acting like theyre invincible, when it’s very clearly always been the more vulnerable of our friends who are having to pay the price for their selfishness. these people also have a lot of influence and sway in the rave community here, and for them to go out and do this shit brazenly, encouraging people to come to the shows, is also directly affecting the scene and other people’s behavior. you cant fucking play at a party and then say “oh well i didnt ask them to come, they were free to stay home if they wanted”, directly trying to shirk accountability and personal responsibility for the environment theyre creating. 

recently there was some issue about a crew that caused a lot of destruction in their area, who my friends have previously been associated with and benefited from, and now theyre all colluding as to how they can still maintain their relationship with the crew while saving public face. to me it’s as if they have no morals and scruples only come into play when it affects their image. i have been friends with these people for a long time but im beginning to feel like i cannot trust them if theyre going to put their whims before other peoples safety, or if theyre just going to lie to peoples faces for the sake of their image.

as for wow, i always get very prickly around new patches because i have had people who i thought were friends very deliberately disobey my wishes and spoil things for me within the first 24-48 hours of the patch (or even before it’s out, via datamining). i dont know how much more vocal i can be about the fact that i hate spoilers, i dont want to know ANYTHING, DO NOT talk to me about new patch content, and then people steamroll all over it and say “well it’s not a spoiler, but--” and then proceed to tell me spoilers.

i have been isolated for much longer than quarantine has gone on, and stuck with incredibly unhealthy, paranoid people that i cannot be myself around the entire time. ive definitely become more cagey as a result, but overall i am having a very hard time continuing to trust or feel comfortable around people. i want to believe it’s just me and that im the problem, because then it’s something i can fix. but i dont know anymore. i dont know why it feels like every single thing is rubbing me the wrong way, why my threshold for discomfort is so low and my intolerance is so high :(

#blathering

[chikkou]

Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.

yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 

i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!

ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.

in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.

ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 

that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 

i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 

theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.

sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.

buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 

in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 

ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 

#lisa the first #lisa the painful #lisa the joyful #long post #yall GOTTA stop u know good and damn well i will talk about this game all fucking day hdskjdsk #rape mention #abuse mention #lisa #anya's anons

[duketectivecomics]

not to bother you, but could you tell me about Izzy, and her siblings Hector and Mia? Im trying to research them but its hard to find much for them

Not a bother at all!!! Unfortunately there’s not much to say, because there’s not many comics that Izzy (& especially her siblings) appear in.

For more general stuff on Izzy I would def recommend maybe taking a dive through her tag here on the blog or on my @girlrobins blog! I don’t think I’ve reblogged much meta on her there yet, but I’ll be adding some stuff to the queue anytime I can find it! or very well making it myself when i get around to more fully rereading We Are Robin/Batman & the Signal since I want to do a deeper dive on both her and Riko soon there

SO, with that let’s talk about Izzy and her siblings for this ask! (also quick Content Warning for discussions of Canon-Typical Violence & speculations of sibling abuse)

Hector is introduced in We Are Robin #5, though admittedly its far from a heartfelt reunion

Izzy berates Hector for his involvement with one of the local gangs, he threatens her and later follows up on the threat by having his gang ambush her after they’ve closed up the family restaurant for the night. Riko & Duke (as Robins) intervene, (although she had been holding her own pretty well just sayin).

Later she tells them a bit more about the contentious relationship she has with Hector~

Later on in WAR it’s revealed that Hector has been sent to prison (although when I briefly skimmed it to prep for your question, I missed whether it was generically gang-related or if it was because Izzy finally stepped forward about either of her two assaults.) Suffice it to say, after this development and an initial period when Izzy’s mother seems to be mourning the “loss” of her son, Izzy and her mom do appear to reconcile after the events of WAR #11. And from what I can remember of Batman & the Signal, they seem to be on better footing.

We’re not given much information on what Hector & Izzy’s relationship was prior to Hector joining the gang. Whether they got along as kids, or if their relationship contained any of the different shades of sibling rivalry (or even, what I believe may be more likely given how willing Hector was to directly attack and encourage others to attack Izzy, they may have had a physically abusive relationship), all of this is still very speculative. What we know for sure, is that whatever love (or lack thereof) they may have shared is for sure well lost by the time we get to this point in WAR.

But onto the next sibling, which all I really have to say is that weirdly enough Mia is... never mentioned or explicitly shown throughout WAR? During one of those “what we’ve sacrificed for you kids” speeches, Izzy’s mom lists both Hector & Izzy, but says nothing about Mia. And as far as I’ve been able to recall, I don’t remember her being mentioned in Izzy’s later appearances, or at least not in any plot-significant or character-defining capacity like how Hector is.

This leads me to assume that Mia was likely a late addition to Izzy’s family, both by being introduced after this point in the canon, and as a potential Younger Sister to Izzy. (Forgot to mention that Hector is most definitely the Older Brother) (But if any of y’all know exactly when Mia was introduced in canon plz feel free to lmk so I can go back and read that! And hopefully edit this section ahh. Make sure you include the run, (year if other runs share the title) and issue number!!)

So yeah... overall we really don’t have much to go off on about Izzy’s family or how her relationship with Hector deteriorated so far, how or why he ended up joining a gang. Their mom being so defensive of Hector does imply some favoritism, but its unknown whether their dad similarly plays favorites. Izzy clearly feels both a sense of responsibility for the family diner and simultaneously trapped by it, and that certainly has great character potential too (& its touched on a bit over the course of WAR). And then ofc there’s the fact that Izzy and Duke enter into a relationship over the course of the comic and it continues into Batman & the Signal (although its not touched as much on in other comics or at all in recent runs).

There’s just. A Lot of potential and not nearly much given by canon in this case. Which means we as fans have even more freedom than usual to take what’s given and run absolutely wild, but its frustrating for anyone who wants to make meta on what is given, because it means more speculation than strict analysis.

#isabella ortiz #hector ortiz #mia ortiz #asked and answered #anonymous asks #randys meta #side note: if yall have qs that arent strictly DUKE qs please consider directing it to one of my other blogs! #def want this one to stay focused on duke as much as possible and i know that izzy is important to him BUT #also want to uplift her as her own character and also want to uplift the girl robins as much as possible so \o/ #i like to specialize with blogs a lot ;-; its easier than trying to contribute to wikis at least fjkdla; #but yeah! qs are never a bother though! just again! want to keep this one duke-centered here!

[turnaboutimagines]

hi im Soft and i need a Good Ending after that pure angst nahyuta request from a while back,,, PLEASE can i get a followup to that pls?? hopefully where nahyuta apologizes for acting the way he did, bc he had to? because he cares????? becaUSE HE LOVES THEM????????? ok u take it wherever u want but i NEED a conclusion to that one, thanks, love u -❤

love u too, pal, i tried to spoil you with this just a little so I hope you enjoy it!!!  ❤Continuation of this scenario!  feat. Defiant Dragon!Reader.  SoJ Spoilers!

The air that passes into his lungs feel crisper as he walks through the verdant palace gardens to clear his mind.  His steps feeling simultaneously lighter and heavier than they had in years now that everything has been laid bare, he instinctively flexes his right hand.

His heart mourns the loss of his father, of course, but it’s the yoke of guilt that still presses down heavily on his shoulders.  Because he knows his father wants him to be happy and he’d be delighted that he’s free once more, able to finally be with his mother, sister, and adoptive brother.

But not you, at least… not yet.  

He cannot stop replaying the sound you made when the guns of Ga’ran’s henchmen had been pointed at him.  He hadn’t dared turn around, not willing to risk exposing your connection and put you in danger by exposing your identity.  He’d taken great care up until that point to ignore you, immediately having recognized your disguise.  How could he forget after you’d confessed your feelings to him a year ago in the very same one?

Ah, those feelings.  The very same that weigh upon him to this very day, because he still carries his for you.  He knows that he must reveal the truth to you, finally.  You deserve as much, along with a heartfelt apology.  Even if you no longer feel the same… as he’d tried so hard to insure.

Yet he can’t help but wonder if he’d failed on that count, daring to hope like some feeble-minded fool that you could return his feelings still—after all the years the two of you have shared together.

Nahyuta stops to admire an elegant red butterfly and offer a hand out to it.  It flitters onto his finger when he hears familiar footsteps tread on the stone behind him.  

It seems like the reveal will happen sooner than he’d anticipated.

“Still sneaking into the palace, I see.”  He glances over his shoulder toward you, unable to prevent the fondness that seeps into his voice.

He’s quick to notice that your stance is guarded, perhaps a touch bit nervous?  Your eyes don’t quite meet his and while there’s a smile on your face, he knows you too well to not pick up on the pained look in your eyes.  This is clearly hard for you and he knows all too well why.

“Yes, well… you haven’t exactly made it easy to congratulate you.  This is the first time you’ve been alone all day.”

“Congratulate me?”  He quirks a brow with an otherwise neutral expression, politely choosing to not inquire over the fact that you’ve seemingly been stalking him.  He’s not as surprised by that as he probably should be.

“On your freedom.  I…I knew that you wouldn’t betray Dhurke like that.”

Your words hang in the breeze for a few moments and he only blinks at you, long eyelashes fluttering from surprise.  As the two of you stare at one another, he notices a blush spread across your cheeks… likely mirroring his own if the warmth blooming across his own face is any indication.

“You still think so highly of me,” he says, more to himself than to you as he looks back down at the butterfly perched on his finger in contemplation.  It chooses then to take flight… and seemingly you get the same idea.

However, Nahyuta’s reflexes are faster and he’s able to catch your wrist as he calls out your name.  You go rigid under his touch, but don’t pull away (much to his relief).

“Wait, please.  I… there is something most important that I must tell you before you leave,” he says, voice more desperate than he’d like.

After a moment of hesitation, you turn around to face him properly again, eyes still not directly meeting his face.

That will not do.

There’s a slight tremble to his hand as he brings a hand up to tilt your chin towards him, making you look at him properly for the first time since that awful conversation.  The look in his eyes steels into pure determination, looking remarkably similar to his father.

“Thank you, because I do believe that I have inflicted enough suffering upon you for this lifetime.“  He allows his hand to slide up to cup your cheek, thumb caressing your cheek.  You flush further under his touch and your gaze flits away with his own, encouraging him further.  You don’t see how his eyes soften with sorrow at the recollection of what he’d done, of the barbed lies he’d thrown at you…

“Back in the palace on that fateful day, I committed a series of deplorable sins in the hopes that I would protect you… and that, perhaps, you would be able to forgive me for them someday.”

He does not elaborate, allowing for you to compose yourself enough to ask the question for yourself.  When you look at him, the despair he’d sensed earlier is replaced by a newly rekindled hope, a sight that warms his heart like nothing else.

“…a-and what would those be?”

“I spewed many lies… with the most grievous being that I did not love you, because I did.  More than anything.”  He draws his face closer to yours, allowing you for ample opportunity to pull away.  You don’t.

“And I still do.”

You answer him by closing the distance yourself before him, capturing his lips with your own as you throw your arms around his neck.  He smiles into the eagerly returned kiss, uncertain if the warm tears trailing down his face belong to you or himself.  Perhaps both.

Right as he begins to lose himself in the kiss that he’d been dreaming of for so long, there comes a strange fluttering sensation.  The two of you break off the kiss, distracted, only to watch the kaleidoscope of red butterflies pass by, flying around you as they carry on.

One familiar butterfly lingers, circling around the two of you once before flittering after the others on its fragile wings.  He stares after it for a few moments, touched by the meaning.

When he turns back to you, he’s quick to capture your lips this time, more passionately than before as he kisses you with the sacred butterfly’s blessing.

#nahyuta sahdmadhi x reader #nahyuta sahdmadhi imagine #nahyuta sahdmadhi #ace attorney x reader #ace attorney imagines #ace attorney #x reader #self insert #reader insert #my writing #scenarios #fluff #confession scenario #soj spoilers #spirit of justice spoilers #defiant dragon!reader #❤ anon #Anonymous

[mulderspice]

have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files?  Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head.  I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine.  Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away.  For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998.  However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair.  The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring.  Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”.  The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3.  All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening.  This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you.  Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are.  Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it:  this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories.  Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven.  Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes.  Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime.  In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic.  You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it.  Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips.  But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate.   This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”.  A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair.  Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again.  What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place.  Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post.  And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today.  By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth.  Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC.  Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot.  This just makes me unhinged.  50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.  

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live.  I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude.  Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses.  What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this.  I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image.  Nothing means more to me than this.  1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business.  Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left.  Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too.  He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL.  An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history.  Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated.  BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair.  If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes.  He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves.  (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.)  For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely.  Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma.  This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.)  What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it.  Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

#and this one i SAVED!!!!! enjoy #here at mulderspice

[unproduciblesmackdown]

40, 47, 59, 62, 76

lmao hell yeah thanks for All this support i love it!! quastions

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

really idk i feel like even our schools’s Antics were pretty par for the course and i was just sitting in the corner reading the whole time basically......trying to think if anything wild happened in college but even then it was p similar. well you know what, whatever donors covered the majority of the cost of the school’s black box theater being renovated apparently Stipulated that every other year a rodgers and hammerstein production be put on. absolute freaks. my roommate/friend and their then-boyfriend, the one mormon i have Knowingly Known in my life, were in pirates of penzance (sic?) together. hilarious

47. favorite type of cheese?

i like cheddar and like, parmesan, smoked gouda.....let’s get that shit Sharp!!! and hard lmao

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

idk i’d be like an npc just doing their weird thing on their own. i’ve never played pokemons unless you count pokemons Go but i think about the famed “i like shorts they’re comfy and easy to wear” npc kid. like, yeah. i feel the same. and would say similar bullshit nobody asked about

62. seven characters you relate to?

oh god.........recognizing the self through the relatable characters :|

well let’s just talk about the wrol roles right off b/c the characters that Most occupy my gay thoughts (which is to say: my general thoughts) will inevitably get priority when it comes to Remembering things

1) whom among us doesn’t relate to jared kleinman........will roland emerging from relative obscurity and coming for our entire fucking lives like the goddamn legend he is. it’s tough b/c it’s like, oh well alana is relatable too, so is evan unfortunately sorry evan, and in ways i might ~usually act~ like one of those two more than jared but. no. it is Jared who wins the relatability contest, and we all get to be beautifully haunted by it forever

2) leaning hard into winston even with the few glimpses of him b/c somehow will Cannot play an allistic cishet. and this is even More of a case where maybe i don’t much have winston’s demeanor.......even without winston being a beacon of confidence, he has more confidence lmao. and he has that ability to just Be Himself in a situation which, i wish i had that moxie lmao. i am a lot more [usually trying to be accommodating wayyyy harder than i should], booo......even though he’s clearly not great at conflict considering how it doesn’t take Too much to put him out, it’d be pretty impossible for me to be all “called them hacks and lame” or carry out a very irritated monologue in front of four people in the first place lmao. but who knows. and it’s more in the details of like, oh no winston’s the odd one out even though he hasn’t really Done Anything, but we all ~understand~ why he Deserves it.........his expectation / treating it basically as Fact that he will disappoint people.......the [weird] [offputting] behaviors and his way of speaking in What he Says and How He Says It seeming wrong to people.......like it’s only 15-ish min of content that we have here and we don’t have the least info about will’s own thoughts on the character but it’s like. how is this such an iconic Gay Autistic Quant b/c these vibes are so rare. and i appreciate that he can be ~difficult~ lmao. same with jared though i didn’t mention it. i can be difficult!! love it for us...

3) briony atkins from murder of bindy mackenzie as a character who Does act more like how i Usually Act Like lmao.....god we’re only on three i forgot there was seven of these. and yet i know there’s probably at least 2 dozen characters who could make this list and i just won’t think of most of them unless directly reminded......but anyways yeah i mean in person i mostly do Not want attention unless i feel comfortable enough / in my element or whatever. especially if it’d be some situation like “sitting in a group of randos” lol. i mean it depends b/c i also can sometimes be ~on~ in terms of Masking and trying to be like Haha I’m Social I’m Regular and i def engage in Nervous Chatter sometimes, but like, very often it’s like god don’t talk to me and i don’t want to talk either.....and then yeah people Will be surprised that like, idk, i’m opinionated as shit and idk that i Enjoy Things / Have Thoughts And Feelings coz the assumption i guess is that you must simply have nothing to say. so the dismissal of this person who seemingly has nothing to contribute and must be Boring rings true lmfao.....but then of course it’s also important that her personality Under that is the one getting mistaken for emily’s lol cuz yeah At Heart i am sure of that dramatic / intense / excitable type Sometimes. but it takes some excavation before i am like “oh i can engage in my actual self” and like weeks and months to get comfortable w/ people and i’m always suspicious that anyone actually would enjoy it and i’m not too much......i am a motormouth actually and have something to say about any and everything and like to Have Fun Here but like. idk i come off as boring and can be Notably Quiet lmao

4) oscar martinez from the office is weirdly [Haha Same] sometimes lmfao. sort of keeps to himself but also has to pipe up with Opinions and Pedantry and the kind of Drama of a restrained theatre gay. some deleted scene from an episode where during an interview clip of Jimothy in a theater lobby and you have oscar call from across the group in that [wearied Ugh God] way of ‘jim, they’re remaking ___’ while jim just kind of gives a cursory “wow gosh” or whatever and like, i sure don’t have lots of Theatre Opinions but that “oh jeez i have a Take on this and have to share it with someone” vibe is like hahaha yeah.....it’s funny in the “the gang goes to the ice rink for a third of the ep” bit where you just catch oscar doing [ice skating turn] with some solemn intensity.......the “here’s a question nobody’s asking: is this worth it” quote.........way at the end where there’s a whole deal with one of the indoor plants and he’s like “why is it a He” @ the collective gendering of the houseplant lmfao.......i love the one thing where he and pam and uhh toby right? have the Finer Things book club or whatever and jim wants to join just like ~ironically~ and pam has to tell him that oscar doesn’t want him to join b/c he’s not going to take it seriously and use it as a Jokes Vehicle. and then you get the scene at the end where jim Is basically doing that and they’re just like taking it out of him and oscar’s all very seriously like “did you get it all out of your system” lmfao like yeah, earnest members only lmao.....the thing where he gets mad at angela’s like Jazz Musician Posed Babies posters all “it’s kitsch it Destroys art” lmaoooo and in a totally different season all “this is the problem with debate” over the completely inconsequential “is [whichever actress, i forget] Hot” “”””debate””””.......the whole tendency to get involved and always have a take to get across.....opinionated-sometimes-to-the-point-of-petty central. also that he’s the canon gay, are there even any others? anyways and as the us office’s spiritual successor i’ll add on to this by uh what’s the name of billy eichner’s character on parks and rec? it’s craig right. that Self-Powered Intensity is very #me as well.

5) augh god........im like lmfao shit who represents my Hater Club side. hmmm. oh no wait you know what. totally different but i love Prof Beatrice Hotchkiss in the trt nancy drew pc game. she’s holed up in her room writing all the time and just is weird when you try to talk to her all like no i won’t open the door, bring me food, do this Research, bring me my Ski Boots i guess......and then when you do meet her it’s all at like post-midnight in the lounge and she’s all like, encouraging you as a Night Owl and your investigative curiosity and all and i’m like oh word yeah being up in the dead of night is the shit. she’s just weird and passionate and this is another character i might not Act hardly at all like but who i vibe with lmfao. hotchkiss was the supportive adult in my life

6) remembering how hotchkiss is a historian made me think of academia which made me think of like, once again with “these vibes are So So Rare” i really ought to put the wrol role of Nato on the list cuz like. that essential representation of “gets gr8 grades but isn’t really ~academic~ / doesn’t care about that and really just cares about Hanging W Friends and [real specific interests]” is like wow damn that’s the Mood. coz like to an extent i can always Relate to the ~overachiever~ types a la the [nerd character gets all-A’s and other nerd shit] deal, but there’s eventually the issue of like.....those characters like bindy mackenzies and alana becks Care about their achievements (not exclusively as some ppl would have it 9_9) and are Studious whereas i always hated school and was a godawful student in terms of Habits and always got good grades b/c the devil was with me or something and like people will think i must have tried real hard and dedicated myself to Academics and stuff and it’s like.........no................not at all hardly, sure i did my hw every night but at like 11:29 pm or studied for a midterm at lunch right before the class lol or flipped through a lil bit of the sat study guide the night prior.........the “low-effort dumbass who Academically Excels Anyhow” representation is so crucial like!! i run into a wall when it’s the Good Grades nerd character who is real studious and focused and stuff like. couldn’t be me. meanwhile the “naturally weird + probably some ‘deliberate’ weirdness” and “likes animals” and “most likely to just wanna Roll With It” and “shitty focus lol” and “non sequiturs” and “without [activity] i do nothing” is all like....ahahahohoho..........nato rly got to make this list. and honorable mention for Wrol Jeremy. again: whom doesn’t relate!!!!!!!!

7) damnit i know there’s So many answers to [characters i relate to] and whom cover like, more particular Facets here but i’m struggling lmao. Uh. like i’m like, who’s the Hot Mess / continually evolving disaster characters i vibe with......who’s the peak despresso detached Haters rep......who embodies the solo production lifestyle........dammit you know what lol i tend to Feel for like, the background ~nobodies~ who might just get like totally destroyed in some movie with life or death stakes just to like, show how much danger our heroes / Important Complex Protags are. same w/ jeremy not feeling like the Hero / the one who the story’s about / the cool guy / player 1 / etc etc etc i’m like oo i’d be the npc who doesn’t really do anything, i’d be the rando getting blown away in the background of someone else’s story. on a totally different note another shoutout / honorable mention to wybie from the coraline lmfao one of the best characters invented from thin air for an adaptation......tangentially relevant b/c he’s entirely here to support the protag / not his story at all, just here to help and prompt interactions / exposition really.......but love that [weird loner kid who’s best friend is a cat and annoys the other kid and doesn’t Get it and has specific interests and entertains himself and just is doing weird shit around here tf dude lmao killing it] like, #mood. #lifestyle. less dismal to relate to than the bg person who dies......his counterpart who totally dies is somewhat fleshed out / given Investment so it doesnt Really count as [background Nobody who’s really just fodder for “defining the stakes / threat level”] Character Concept

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

latkes maybe......Yummy

#i expect to now just think of like ten dozen Other Characters who would've been great to mention #c'est la vie!!! c'est comme ca!!!! speaking of. thinking of the hc that winston jsut. drops french phrases into his speech sometimes #building on the moi....tbt ur benston fic w quelle horreur..... #nothingunrealistic1

[canadiankazz]

The Fourth Time - An L.A. by Night fanfic

Jasper and Annabelle's relationship has taken a lot of intimate steps lately, but when she lets him take the reins, so to speak, and let his more dominant side out, they manage to find a way to get even more pleasure out of it. 

SPOILERS for the end of Campaign 1 including the one-shots. This has gone off canon, so consider this an AU. It's worth reading Part 1 (The First Time), Part 2 (The Second Time) and Part 3 (The Third Time) before you read this. This fic takes place almost directly after The Third Time. This was written before the premiere of Season 2, Episode 2.

I lay no claim to owning any of the characters involved. Things are gonna get more kinky than they have been in this series so far from here on out. We are way past tame wrist biting now. We’re getting into some mild BDSM stuff in this part.

As always, special thanks to @cravatfiend for the support and encouragement during the writing of the drafts. When I asked them for a safe word, they picked the best one for Annabelle. I had the privilege of watching them read this for the first time and all they could say was "...Damn!" High praise, indeed. 

All my love, also, to @gokaiyellow for their additional input, @fluffy-wookiees for being adorable, and to everyone else who has enjoyed this series so far. There are many more parts to come after this one, no worries. (As of posting, I’m currently finishing writing part 8 with ideas for part 9!)

Also posted to the author's Ao3.

First posted Feb, 2, 2019.

The Entire ‘Feeds From’ Master List Can be Found Here

The Fourth Time

Annabelle was having a nightmare. She was running for her life through a dark sewer. Her shoes splashed through the filth. Rats squeaked and scattered in a panic as she charged forwards. Behind her, she could hear a dreadful snarling echoing through the tunnel. She couldn’t see the monster chasing her, but she could hear it. Its hungry growling was getting closer and closer. When, not if, but when it caught her, it was going to rip her apart and eat her alive. Her eyes scanned the walls and curved ceiling frantically for a ladder or escape hatch up to the streets above. There! A ladder appeared to her right. She climbed it as fast as she could, but right when she was about to push up through the manhole cover, she felt sharp claws grab her leg and pull her back down. She screamed.

Annabelle woke with a shudder. Her Beast strained in her chest and throat. The room she was in was dark. There were no windows. She was on her side facing a blank wall. She could feel someone else's body pressed against her back and a long arm curved cosily around her side and stomach that was not her own. There was no breath or body heat coming from the person behind her.

Then she remembered. She was in Jasper's sanctum again. In his bed, again. And he had fed on her last night, again. And now...

She tried to turn her head to look at him without disturbing him. His arm tightened around her a little.

“Jasper?” she whispered.

“Mm.”

He was awake. Annabelle relaxed a little and went back to looking at the wall. He seemed comfortable where he was and so was she, to her mild surprise. Their relationship had taken many great leaps these past few months.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey,” he mumbled into her hair.

“Sleep well?”

“Like the dead.”

She rolled her eyes and poked his arm. “Ha. Ha.”

She heard him snarl softly in her ear as he smiled.

“You need a bigger bed,” she told him.

“Why?”

“Because we only barely fit on it.”

“I thought that this was only going to be a temporary thing,” he said, sounding amused. “Something to tie me over for a little while.”

“Well, clearly... it's not,” Annabelle said softly.

“We can't keep doing this forever,” he told her. His voice was gentle, but firm. “The others are going to find out, and... it's not a healthy relationship.”

Annabelle frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

“What I mean is that...” he sighed, thinking of what to say. She felt him roll back slightly away from her. “It's one sided.”

“No... you feed from me sometimes and let me sleep in your bed sometimes, that's fair.”

“But you don't have to sleep here.”

“You don't have to feed from me either, but here we are,” Annabelle said pointedly. She sighed and touched his hand. “I don't want to argue with you. I... I am happy for this to continue as long as you want. I don't feel like it's one sided, Jasper. I thought you liked it... Liked me.”

“I do,” he admitted softly, “but that’s the problem. I think I’m liking it too much and... that scares me.”

Annabelle thought she understood now. He had told her that a Kindred feeding from another was a big deal and she got why now. Blood was more than just food for them, it was life, and sharing your life with someone else left a big impact. So too did someone forcibly taking it away. He had been trying to adjust to this new, kinder type of feeding and despite the fact that they had only done it three or four times in the past few months, maybe things were still, on an emotional level, going a little too fast for him. Annabelle awkwardly shifted, rolling over to face him. His hoodie was down. From what little light there was in the bedroom, she could see his pale, gaunt face. “It’s okay,” she said. “Don’t let it scare you. I think I get it though. We’ve been kind of going at my pace a little bit.”

Jasper remained quiet, but gave a slight nod. He could see she was more or less on the right track. He felt it in his blood.

“Okay,” Annabelle sighed slowly. “Do you want some emotional space?”

“I think so. To think things over.”

Annabelle nodded and stroked his arm. Her Vitae has done a good job healing him. “Okay,” she said. She didn’t want to make Jasper uncomfortable in this relationship. “How about this... if you want to do this again, you call me, okay? And we’ll do it however you want to.”

“Okay,” Jasper said. He lent forward a little and his forehead touched Annabelle’s for a brief, tender moment. “Thank you,” he whispered. Then he rolled over and got out of bed.

Annabelle stayed where she was, not wanting to get up yet. “You still owe me a boon, remember?”

“Mm. True.”

“And I've thought about what I want from you. If anything happens to me, anything really bad, I want you to take care of Mark and Elleanore for me.”

“What do you mean by 'take care of?'” he asked.

“Watch out for them. Make sure they don't get attacked, I guess? Just keep them safe, as best you can.” Her hand found her golden locket around her neck and held it.

Jasper considered this briefly and decided that it wasn't unreasonable. It was certainly less embarrassing than teaching X how to moonwalk. “Alright,” he nodded.

“Thank you,” Annabelle said tenderly.

Then Jasper stretched his long limbs. Annabelle could her his joints crack and pop. She sat up and sighed. She was hungry. She needed to go.

She packed up her laptop and the little plastic candles she had brought the night before. Jasper helped to collect them. “Will I see you again later?” She asked hopefully.

Jasper shrugged. “At some point, yes. I want to explore my labyrinth this week, and I know the others will be tracking down those other Kindred who attacked us the other night. We should help with that.”

Annabelle nodded. She was angry that her group had been attacked and she hadn't been there to help. At least she could help in the aftermath. She dreaded to think what would have become of Jasper if she hadn't gotten to him when she did. “Yeah.”

An invisible Jasper walked Annabelle to Griffith College, then they parted ways. They both had a lot to do.

**

Jasper kept himself busy over the next few weeks. He explored his labyrinth. He visited Eva. He received and carried out more jobs for Baron Abrams. All the while, Annabelle's movements and moods were in the back of his mind. The longer he went without feeding on her, the weaker his bond with her became. Part of him missed that. He found himself delaying finding another more permanent solution to his empty larder. He knew that eventually he would have to go back to his more aggressive feeding style, but he also knew he would miss having someone give him their honest and thoughtful consent. It made him feel a tiny bit less like a monster.

That got him thinking. Despite himself, he started to formulate a plan, purely hypothetical, of how his next feeding session with Annabelle could go. She had asked him to come back to her when he was ready to initiate things again and had said that they could do things his way if they wanted to. He had genuinely appreciated that. There was something dominant about him that was asking to be satisfied. Every time it came down to the act of feeding in the past, Jasper had been violent and dominant. Until Annabelle came along and offered herself to him, that is. That had changed things. Jasper had become what was for him, very submissive. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it wasn't what he wanted to be doing all the time, every time.

He was curious, also, about how far he could push Annabelle's boundaries. She was the one who always wanted more and he had been holding back. He knew very well what he was physically capable of and what his Beast demanded of him. The thought of challenging Annabelle, daring her to keep up with him intrigued him. By the time Jasper finished planning the night he had in mind, he knew that he might regret it forever if he didn't try it. The worst that would happen was Annabelle would say no. He might be a little disappointed, but that was nothing new. He waited another few nights, then decided to set his plan in motion.

**

Annabelle was on her way home when she thought she heard something behind her. She paused, straining her senses, searching for something unseen. At first, there was nothing, then she heard Jasper’s disembodied voice in her ear. “Hey.”

She jumped. “God...!”

“No, just me.” Jasper sounded highly amused.

“Jasper, what are you doing?” She hissed, annoyed at being startled like that.

“I was going to ask you...” he started, then hesitated, possibly reconsidering his words. “Would like to come over tomorrow night for another round?”

Annabelle felt a ghost of a touch on her neck and shoulder, right where he had bitten her last time. She shivered and something deep in her core twisted in the memory of pleasure. “Uhhh... sure,” she said faintly. Her mouth was dry and she swallowed. “Can I ask why? I thought you might not want to any more.”

“I’d been thinking,” Jasper said in her ear with a light snarl, “that there are a few things I would like to try with a consenting individual such as yourself, and I don’t know when I will get the chance to do them again. I would be a fool to not ask.” He put special emphasis on the word ‘consenting.’ His voice was soft and sensual, unusually so, but it was undercut with a thirst that Annabelle recognised.

“Okay, um... how about I come over tomorrow and we’ll talk about it and... see where we go from there,” she said.

“Alright. Come by 3:00,” Jasper replied, “and bring those little plastic candles. And yes... you may sleep over as well.”

Annabelle nodded. “See you then.”

“Oh, one last thing...” she felt Jasper’s lips on her ear and she shivered again, despite herself. “In the meantime, can you think of a safe word, please?”

Annabelle’s eyes went very wide. What on earth could he be planning that would need a safe word? “Uh...” she stammered.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course. Well, I have to, for us to do this, right?”

“We don’t have to do this,” he reminded her.

“I know, but... I want to.” Annabelle swallowed nervously and steadied her nerves. “Okay. I’ll think of something.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow.”

She didn’t hear him leave, but she hadn’t heard him approach either. She stood there in mild shock for another little while with her hands over her mouth and cheeks. She cursed herself for being as excited as she was. This was going to be very, very interesting. She hurried the rest of the way home.

**

When Annabelle arrived once again at Jasper's sanctum the next night, she had her bag with her with the plastic candles and her laptop in it. She had fed earlier, as much as she could without killing any one. She was almost beside herself with nervous excitement. Part of her thought that she should be more apprehensive, that she should let someone know where she was just in case things went bad. But she trusted Jasper. He had been very good to her so far, very good indeed, and he didn't seem to want to ruin this relationship they had going. She trusted the control he had over himself. She still believed that, over-all, he wasn't a bad guy.

She knocked on his front door. Jasper answered it quickly. He had been waiting for her in the passage way on the other side again. He was wearing a different black hoodie this night. This one had fewer layers and just a straight zipper up and down. It was casual. Easy to get into and out of. Interesting.

They smiled at each other and Jasper invited her in. She followed him closely back down the long passage way, though she was sure by now she had the route memorised. They caught up with a little small talk. As they got closer to his rooms, Annabelle could hear faint music. It was classical, something with an orchestra and a choir. They weren't singing in English... Latin, maybe? Annabelle wasn't as knowledgeable on her classical pieces. “You're playing music?” She asked, pleased and surprised.

“Yeah, to set a mood.” Jasper smirked at her. She recognised her own line that she had used on him last time she was here.

“Oh, I see,” she chuckled. “What is it?”

“Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor.” Jasper licked his fangs. “Tell me... have you learned Blush of Life yet?”

“Um... yeah. Yes, I have.” Annabelle had used it very successfully around Elleanore. It gave her a pulse, warmed her skin, let her breathe and otherwise seem almost entirely human again. Annabelle tilted her head a little at Jasper, slowly working out what he had planned. “Why?”

His grin was sharp. “I would like you to use it tonight.”

“Oh... yeah, sure. Right now?”

“If you'd like, or we can wait until we get to the bedroom.”

“I'll wait,” she decided. So far, she liked where this was going.

In the bedroom, they set up her candles on the floor as they did last time. The room was soon full of artificial, warm candlelight. The classical music continued in the background, unobtrusive.

“Did you decide on a safe word?” Jasper inquired.

“Yeah. Um... are you familiar with the stoplight method?”

He considered it. “Red, yellow, green?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. It's basic, but effective.”

Jasper nodded. “Alright. We're going to use that tonight. Unless I hear you say 'yellow' or 'red,' I'm going to assume that everything is green.”

“No gags, then, please,” Annabelle specified.

“No,” Jasper agreed. That had never been a part of his plan for tonight.

Annabelle kept glancing at his fangs while he spoke. She couldn’t help it. His eyes had a hungry and excited gleam. She suspected that he and his Beast were working in near harmony tonight. Well, they had their safe word in place. Everything would be okay. She was feeling brave and keen to see how far Jasper was going to push things tonight.

When she was ready, Annabelle nodded and slipped off her red jacket, as was their custom by now. She had worn the good bra again. Jasper recognised the shape of it under her thin tank top. He snarled a little when he smiled.

“On the bed, please,” he gestured to the bed. Annabelle complied, her lips twitching into a little smile. She sat on the bed, then lay back. As she did so, she activated Blush of Life. Her Beast stirred a little, but was still mostly dormant. She glanced at Jasper. He was staring at her with an expression of incredible desire. He came over to her and sat on the bed. He held her hand and seemed to marvel for a few seconds at its warmth. Annabelle's body fell back into the natural rhythm of breathing. Jasper felt her pulse in her wrist. His fingers were very cold by comparison, and felt very dead. He snarled to himself, pleased.

“I don't have Blush of Life,” he explained softly. “I never bothered to learn how to do it. I mean... why would I? Who am I going to try to convince that I'm alive?”

“You still could learn,” Annabelle said. She could think of at least one person he might have used Blush of Life on, if he could, but bringing up that person was very likely going to ruin the mood, so she didn't.

He shook his head. “I could, but it's doubtful.” He seemed to be enjoying just feeling her hands for a moment. The classical music swelled and faded into a new piece of a similar feel to the last, but a faster tempo.

Jasper moved suddenly. With little warning, he was on top of Annabelle, straddling her hips. He had one knee pressed on either side of her ribs. He wasn't very heavy, especially not for a Brujah's strength to support. Annabelle's insides quivered in anticipation. She felt vulnerable, but she remembered all she had to do was say one or two words and he would stop. She understood finally what he had been planning. Jasper looked down at Annabelle, his icy eyes boring into hers. Her heartbeat sped up considerably. Her face flushed. She met his gaze, excited but steady. The degree to which she wanted this to continue bewildered her.

Slowly now, he peeled his hood off his head. Then his hands went to the zipper in the front of his hoodie and he slowly began to tug it down. Annabelle's eyes went wide as Jasper's chest was exposed. He was built of nothing but lean muscle. His flesh was as pale as death save for the starkly contrasting mass of black veins that criss-crossed his body like an insane roadway map. He had no body hair. He unzipped the hoodie down to the bottom, but didn't take it all the way off. This was a compromise, she realised. She had wanted to see what he looked like under his layers for a while, and he had always said no. This was an in-between he was allowing her.

She gave him a warm smile, but when she reached to touch him he stopped her. He gripped one hand in each of his and leaned down over her. He pinned her warm hands and wrists down with his deathly cold hands to the mattress above her head. He continued to watch her, as if daring her to say 'yellow' or 'red.' She didn't. His grip on her was strong. Their faces were close now. Annabelle was breathing hard.

Jasper bared his fangs and growled at her, as if trying to scare her. He was the monster from myth and legend, the deadly black shadow with razor sharp fangs who stalked helpless people at night and she was the young, naive victim. He was perhaps even trying to provoke her one last time into saying their safe word. She did look scared for a moment. There was fear in her eyes, in her Beast, but still she didn’t say either of the words that would make Jasper pull back. A true victim, she was no longer. Annabelle was allowing this to happen.

“Green?” he rasped, edging towards losing control.

“Green,” she nodded and tilted her head to expose her neck. Blood, warm blood, flowed there, and some of it at least, was his for the taking.

The music swelled again in the background as the choir reached a melodramatic crescendo. With a hungry snarl Jasper bit Annabelle hard in the throat. She gasped at the pain. Jasper had good aim. His long, wicked fangs had landed right on her jugular. He bit deep, and his mouth filled with Vitae. She was as sweet, strong and aroused as always, but this time her blood was body temperature. Jasper had never had warm Vitae from another Kindred before. His Beast exalted. He began to drink greedily, keeping an ear open for Annabelle wanting to end this early. He hoped she would not.

The pleasure of the Kiss soon followed, radiating out over Annabelle's body and making her moan. Her eyes rolled back in her skull. She flexed her arms against Jasper, but he still held her down, firmly pinning her to the mattress. Her body, still under the influence of Blush of Life, reacted as it normally would have to intense pleasure. Her heart hammered in her chest. Her pulse raced, sending vital blood into Jasper's hungry mouth. Her brain was very soon dizzy, but she didn't care. Her Beast scrambled, but was soundly ignored in the overwhelming wave of sensations. Annabelle didn't know if it was because of this new, intense situation or the anticipation that had led up to it, but the pleasure this time was near orgasmic. When she felt Jasper bite a little harder in his enthusiasm, it crossed that threshold and she crested with a cry. Annabelle's body trembled uncontrollably underneath Jasper's from her core outwards.

Jasper lingered on Annabelle's throat for a moment or two longer, then pulled his head back with a snarl. His fangs and tongue were painted a deep crimson. Annabelle only barely noticed this. She shivered when he licked her wound closed and he thought he heard her whimper. His Beast whispered at him to continue, that this had been the best he ever had, but he clenched his jaw and ignored it.

Jasper sat up and let her hands go. She didn't move them. She lay there still, breathing hard, eyes closed. Each exhale had a little moan attached to it. He watched her chest heave up and down for a minute. The music faded and changed again to a soprano singing backed by strings and a piano.

Annabelle opened her eyes and saw Jasper watching her. He was still straddling her hips. She smiled up at him. “Wow,” she mumbled. She lowered her hands and rested them on his knees on either side of her body. Jasper didn’t mind. He chuckled at her reaction. “I... mm...” Words were failing her as her blood-deprived brain swam in a haze of endorphins.

“Good?” Jasper confirmed.

Annabelle still couldn’t speak, but she nodded.

Jasper slid carefully off of her and sat on the bed next to her. He hadn't taken a lot of Vitae this time, but what he had taken was potent indeed. His head was also filled with endorphins, mainly from her, but he didn't have the Blush of Life to let his body do anything about it.

“I can't believe you let me do that,” he chuckled softly. He re-zipped up his hoodie, but only part way. He left the top third or so of it open. “I thought for sure you were going to stop me when I pinned you down.”

Annabelle stretched and smiled at him. Other than an internal scolding from her Beast, she was content, still reeling slightly from the pleasures she had been through. “But I didn't.”

Jasper relaxed down next to her on the narrow bed as best he could. He found himself playing a little with her long, black hair. Their bond had deepened again, he knew. At that moment, in that place, he did not care. “You liked it... rather a lot,” he remarked, still amused. His fangs, when Annabelle saw them, were clean now.

“Yeah...” Annabelle marvelled. She covered her face with her hands as embarrassment washed over her. The pleasure this time had been too, too much. “Oh my God!” he heard her muffled giggle.

“What?” Jasper inquired, though he was fully aware of what had happened to her body and why. He was having fun.

Annabelle peeked at him through her fingers. She was grinning. “Is that what you had planned?” she demanded.

“More or less, yes. I'm glad it worked.”

Annabelle groaned softly. “Did you know about... that I would...”

Jasper smirked. “I kind of suspected... but no, but it was a pleasant surprise.” He stroked a cold, pale hand down her arm to her chest, where it settled over her still-beating heart.

“Boy, I'll say,” Annabelle agreed.

Feeling Annabelle's magically enforced heartbeat made Jasper get very quiet and suddenly a little introverted. His eyes found the gold locket hanging around Annabelle's neck and the silver ring on her finger and he pulled his hand back. He got up and went to turn off the music and the lights so that they could settle into bed.

When dawn broke over the City of Angels, the majority of the population arose to begin their day of work and school and life, but Jasper and Annabelle were once again literally dead to the world. The two vampires shared the little bed, holding each other. Where their relationship would take them now, neither of them knew, but in that moment at least, they were content.

#l.a. by night #la by night #vampire the masquerade #fanfic #fanfiction #jasper/annabelle #i think this is my favourite part so far #vampire smut #jaspabelle #jasper #annabelle #times jasper fed from annabelle

[glowstickhaloboy]

smoothie klance au?? i guess

you would not guess how many half-written AUs i have in my drafts that become WAY TOO LONG for me to ever consider publishing in a text post. yes this is a short one.

keith makes smoothies for a living. it isnt a big deal until it is.

one night, this dude comes in. who cares about build-up, we all know its lance, and he looks frazzled. he sits at the counter and orders the fruitiest smoothie on the menu. keith makes it and doesnt think much of it, except to note that something about this kid is just... weird?

1: hes coming in alone, which people their age usually dont. 2: hes dressed pretty nicely. 3: hes just sitting there??? drinking a smoothie??? not even scrolling on his phone or anything, just looking around and slurping. okay weirdo. 4: he seems off. keith does not use the word “aura” on a regular basis but lance has an aura. (which does not make sense to keith, who barely understands his own emotions, let alone someone else’s.)

lance thanks keith, and leaves like thirty minutes later. hes certainly not the weirdest customer keith has ever served, but for some reason that random, singular dude sticks out in his mind.

but the shifts come and go, and gradually keith forgets about lance.

until he comes back in again.

its a lot like it was before. lance is dressed nicely, seeming miffed about something, or not miffed, exactly, but hes clearly not happy, and this time he orders a peanut butter and chocolate smoothie, and hes just as quiet as before, only this time hes rapidly tapping away on his phone instead of memorizing the inside of the restaurant, and keith is almost glad because it means he gets to sneak glances at this guy more casually??? like, hes had weird people in here before, and lance definitely isnt the weirdest, but enigma customers are intriguing to keith and he takes what he can get

the third time, its raining. lance is drenched, droplets running down the side of his face and under the collar of his (white, button-up) shirt. he smiles sheepishly at keith from across the room and sits at the counter, nearly having tripped on the way over because he didnt bother to wipe his shoes on the interior mat and created on the floor as he crossed the room.

he orders a strawberry and banana smoothie. keith has been preparing for this. he attempts small talk.

“nasty weather,” he says.

lance nods. “yep.”

god, that was horrible. 

keith hands lance his smoothie, his change, and hides at the far end of the counter. lance alternates between staring at his phone and watching the rain hit the windows and slide down the glass. sometimes, he sighs.

the fourth time, its the middle of the day. keith is just getting off his shift, but he imagines himself whipping around and demanding to stay later just so he can serve this random kid he knows nothing about???? his eyes are trained on lance as he walks out the door. he thinks lance glances at him. for the first time, keith wonders if lance comes in when keith is not there.

months pass, and lance comes in on the regular. its clear now that when he comes in, he is not happy. in fact, he seems to be getting less and less happy, judging by the fact that he starts to order mega-sized blueberry blitzes.

and then lance disappears

and keith isnt obsessed with the guy, he doesnt, like, notice except for the fact that he totally does. where the fuck did lance go???

but, you know, whatever. a customer is a customer. keith thinks about him sometimes, but lets it go for the most part.

until he doesnt.

its four more months before lance comes in again. leaves have fallen off the trees and scarves recently appeared in the street overnight. and now, all of a sudden, in an autumn sunset, lance stumbles through the door and throws himself into the nearest chair. keith can hardly believe his eyes.

“what can i get you?” he asks lance, and he thinks lance understands that keith recognizes him. still, lance takes a moment to answer, like he has to pick every part of himself off the ground first. he drags a hand down his face. looks up at the menu. looks down at his hands.

“fuckin... i dont know, man. you ever experiment with ingredients and stuff? like, on your break, you make yourself a smoothie thats not on the menu?”

keith cannot say that he has. “you want something thats not on the menu?”

“yeah...” says lance. “something with chocolate, though. i dont care how much it costs.”

its completely out of place for keith to ask why lance looks like utter shit. hes a smoothie maker, not a bartender. also, he still doesnt even know lances name. and yet.

“what am i trying to fix with this smoothie?” he asks. “rough day? heartache?”

“bingo!” says lance, a bite in his words. he laughs like he wants to die. “dont skimp on the chocolate, man, please.”

keith nods and tries to remember things that lance has ordered in the past (its never been the same thing twice) so he can use that to guess what lance would like. chocolate? what went well with chocolate??? strawberries--people dipped strawberries in those chocolate fountains. and bananas went well with strawberries. strawberry-banana with chocolate. it might be disastrous, might be passable. keith improvises a little on the portioning, delivers the finished product to lance with a pained face.

“i have no idea how this will taste.”

lance shrugs, pays the man, and sticks a straw in it. though keith has other customers, he waits for a reply. lance doesnt give him one. his face is stubbornly unreadable. but, he doesnt choke it back up, so keith doesnt make him anything else. he, regrettably, must now face the other distractions customers.

hes never focused less on what he was making. his goal is to get the order and send it out the door. in the meantime, lance sits at the counter, sucks down his smoothie, and stares at the back wall of the room as though he has recently been hollowed out. keith wonders just what the hell has been going on in this dudes life the past three months.

finally, the line empties out. keith scoots back to lance’s seat. “can i get you anything else?”

lance sets down his 3/4 finished glass (keith has to act fast) and shakes his head.

“we have cookies,” keith offers.

lance snorts into his shoulder. “man, how pathetic do i look? pity eyes and cookie offers and free conversation.”

keith drops all pretense. “what happened?”

lance hangs his head, his shoulders slumping. “i was really hoping that i wouldnt be coming back to this goddamn place for a long time.”

keith doesnt know what to say to that. he knows that it isnt about the smoothies, but he doesnt want to pry directly into lance’s life, so he says, “the smoothies arent that bad.”

“no. the smoothies are great. perfect pick me up. it just sucks that im back to needing pick me ups.” he takes a long sip of schroedinger’s disaster-passable smoothie, and instead of saying anything, keith remains silent, an invitation for lance to explain more. “i used to come in here all the time a couple months back."

“i remember,” says keith, unprompted, because he feels like lance will respond well to honesty right now.

lance raises his eyebrows but doesnt comment. “okay. well, its super lame, and youre going to think im a total loser considering you remember me, but its sort of a personal tradition for me to come in here... after i have a bad date. but i met this dude and we hit it off and we’ve been a thing for almost four months now. and then today...” he makes a soft, sad noise as his hand plummets and crashes on the counter. “he broke up with me.” keith frowns.

“that sucks.”

“yeah,” says lance. “it really, really does. so fuck guys and girls and dating in general for a while. lancey lance is going to take care of himself from now on.”

keith blinks in surprise. lancey lance. “your name is lance?” he asks.

“since day one.”

keith offers what he hopes is an encouraging smile. “keith.”

“well, keith,” says lance, standing, “keep up the good work.”

he slides a five onto the table and heads for the door. keith frowns down at it for a moment. as lance leaves, he calls over his shoulder, “its a tip!”

after that, keith doesnt see lance for a while, but now, knowing why, thats a satisfying thing.

but also, knowing that lance is into dudes and actively looking for love is a worrying thing. keith would have to be blind not to see how attractive lance is, and after their brief but insightful conversation, lance’s happiness is on keith’s wish list. lately, a particular train of thought has been running repeatedly though keith’s head: lance wants someone who is not a jackass; i am not a jackass.

but it would be totally weird for keith to ask lance out. besides, lance isnt coming into the restaurant anymore. keith physically cant ask him on a date. perhaps that is for the best.

and then, one saturday afternoon, the planets align. keith has had a confident morning, business has been steady all day, and he rolled out of bed looking good. lance walks in. contrary to keith’s power mood, lance looks like hes been recently hit by a bus and scraped off the pavement. he makes eye contact with keith on the doormat and gives a rueful smile. keith smiles sympathetically in return.

“maybe im just destined to die alone,” lance says, halfway through his coconut-key-lime whatever. “or i’ll find true love when im like thirty. which would be a bummer. im cute now.”

keith grins. hes leaning nonchalantly on the counter, a cleaning rag tossed over his shoulder. “the world is full of idiots,” he says consolingly.

lance’s eyes bug out. “im one of them!” he protests. “clearly! what am i doing wrong? keith? buddy? my man??? today, my date walked out in the middle of the movie. it wasnt even a bad movie! i have no idea what i did, but clearly she just had enough. i tried texting her, but my messages wouldnt deliver. i think she blocked me.”

“what movie did you take her to see?”

“die a virgin 3.”

“i think i might see the problem.”

“its a tasteful movie!” lance protests. “the whole franchise gets a bad rap because of one bad scene in the first movie, but this one is great! it has keaton lovinsten in it. who doesnt like keaton lovinsten? i was practically drooling over him from the first-- oh. oh. i think i know what might have turned her off.”

keith snorts. “i certainly wouldnt like it if i went out with a dude and he started eye-fucking someone else.”

casually slip into the conversation that you like dudes. good one, keith!

“i wasnt-!” lance turns beet red. “it was a movie! hes a celebrity! and there is no way it was that bad.”

“she clearly thought it was.”

lance’s head falls onto the table. “im hopeless,” he says, but he seems to feel better about saying it now. something in keiths chest settles. he thinks about the alignment of the planets and decides that he cant do this yet. hes going to let the universe keep on rotating, and he’ll catch his opportunity the next time. for some reason, he wants to take this slowly.

so lance continues to make keith’s workplace his lovelorn HQ. keith continues to give him sympathetic pats on the back, one time even literally, and eventually he feels comfortable referencing lance in conversations with others as “my friend lance...”

meanwhile, lance goes on date after date with countless people who are not keith. the jealousy is starting to eat at keith, but he can endure it because he only ever sees lance on the tail end of these tragic romantic encounters, when all lance wants to do is complain about their big noses and loud chewing. still, keith starts to feel like hes playing with fire. on any random day, lance could find someone who makes him very happy, and he would suddenly disappear for good.

on a snowy thursday, lance enters the restaurant with a shiver. he pulls off his mittens and waves to keith, who smiles and waves back over the pigtails of a little girl. when its lance’s turn to order, he appears pleasant, if worn down. he orders extra whipped cream.

“what went wrong?” keith asks good-naturedly, lounging an elbow on the counter.

lance hesitates a moment before answering. he unwraps his whole straw, sticks it carefully in his smoothie, and drinks, before saying, “actually... nothing. i mean, not nothing, but... it wasn’t a bad date this time, it was just, i dont know, weird.”

keith prickles. he doesnt like the idea of lance having a date that wasnt overtly bad. “what made it weird?”

“what was weird was that it was good, but it was with someone bad. well, not bad. hes not bad, he was never bad, but, like, he kind of broke my heart, so...”

keith flashes back to the night lance told him about his bad-date-tradition. he frowns. “your ex?”

lance stirs his smoothie pensively. “yeah. he apologized for a lot of stuff and said hes changed, and, like, i dont know what to do with that. i thought i moved on, but considering im still not seeing anyone, maybe its a good idea to try again. i mean, if its what he wants, and its what i want, then what could go wrong? its not like he was a dick, he was always nice to me when we were together...”

lance’s voice fades out. keith is trying to think of all the ways he can coolly scream THAT IS THE WORST IDEA without sounding suspicious or biased. its a damn good thing that lance is staring into his smoothie instead of at keiths face, because keith is not keeping it together. he had taken too much of his sweet time, and now lance was heading back into a relationship, and keith had to decide if he was going to try to break that up, or watch lance fall in love again.

“how do you know hes changed?” keith asks carefully. “how do you know the same thing wont happen again?”

lance eyes keith for a moment instead of replying. then, he goes back to stirring his drink. “he seemed different. it felt like he had changed. he looked good...”

“you look good,” says keith. lance’s eyes flash up to him, and keith feels his face burn, his mind shouting, idiot! idiot! idiot! “i mean! i mean that you have changed, too, so you shouldnt be hasty about this decision. you should... look at all of your options.”

“do i even have other options at this point? my other option is stay lonely and unhappy.”

“or.” keith licks his suddenly dry lips. “you could try going on a date with me.”

silence rings loudly in his ears. he cant look at lance. he cant believe he just did that. he just said it, just like that, just put it out there for the world to hear. for lance to hear.

lance asks, “do you mean that?”

keith finally looks at him, and takes it as a very good sign that instead of revulsion or discomfort, he sees surprise. surprise and something happy. it gives him the courage to smile.

“yeah,” he says. “i mean it. you could finally see me out of this stupid apron. i mean! you could see me in my normal clothes.”

lance coughs hard into his hand, and keith’s soul withers with the knowledge that they are both currently thinking about keith naked.

lance recovers, albeit with a heavy blush on his face. “i’d like that,” he says. “but, um, just so you know, if it goes badly and you decide you hate me, im buying a blender and making my own smoothies after that.”

“that’s fair, but i dont think it will go badly,” says keith. “let me give you my number.” he pulls a napkin from the dispenser and scribbles on it with a pen, slides the napkin over to lance. when did it get so hot in here?

“thanks,” says lance, folding it and putting it in the pocket of his sweatshirt.

neither of them know what to talk about now.

“um, when are you free?” keith offers. “theres a new exhibit at the gallery that my old art teacher contributed to. its space themed, i think. we could go see it.”

lance nods. “that sounds fun. oh man, this is so awkward. im so sorry. im just still trying to register the fact that you actually asked me out. i did not think that was ever going to happen.”

keith cant help but think, me either. shiro is going to be so proud of him.

and, in a moment of bravery, he decides that he likes to see lance so bashful and awkward. he cant help but press his advantage. keith sticks out a hip, leans forward on the counter, and says, “was i too subtle before?”

but it seems like keith accidentally started speaking a language that lance understood. immediately, lance turns on the charm, a smile stretching over white teeth. keith is only shocked for a moment, and he doesnt let it show. lance says, “a little. thats okay. i like shy boys.”

keith wills himself not to get flustered. “how do you feel about motorcycles?”

“motorcycles?” lance repeats, genuinely interested.

“yeah,” says keith, still smiling. “i could teach you how to ride.”

lance gags a little bit on his straw. keith laughs and leaves him sputtering to tend to a pair of kids who just came in. by the time hes finished making their drinks, lance has disappeared, and in his place is a little napkin with a smiling face and the line: am i your bike? because its easy for you to get my motor running.

keith swipes it out of public sight, grinning, and stuffs it in his pocket.

the date does not go badly. it goes very, very well. keith shows up on his motorcycle, and lance is both impressed and excited to ride it. he hugs keith tight around the middle, whooping loudly, and when they pull into a parking spot, he stumbles off the seat like a champion, drunk on adrenaline, eyes shining. keiths heart sprints. they check out the exhibit and lance amuses keith by making ritzy, intellectual comments such as, “the artist has a certain je ne sais quoi, a, how do you say, need to fuck the canvas” that have keith choking back laughter in an effort to remain respectful. it goes so well that keith has the courage to take lance’s hand halfway through the exhibit, to which lance looks down and says, “gay.” afterwards, even though they didnt plan to, they go out to eat at a diner and split a large order of fries. lance has a unique, deeply personal drink (1/3 mountain dew 1/3 cherry coke 1/3 pepsi with a shot of dr pepper) which he graciously allows keith to try. keith periodically catches himself imagining scenarios wherein he and lance show up on each others doorstep for surprise dates or lounge together half-asleep in pajama pants, lance playing video games while keith watches vine compilations on youtube. afterward, because neither of them want to go home, keith takes lance for a spin on the motorcycle just to feel lance hold onto him, and they end up parking outside a place that is very familiar to them both.

“what are we doing here?” lance asks. he frowns at a large milkshake painted on the window. inside is the counter he’s has spent much of the last six months moping at.

keith checks over his shoulder. “i thought it would be rude to ask if you were coming here after, but if you wanted to, i figured it would be polite to drop you off.”

lance shoves keith in the side, laughing. “shut up, you bastard. you damn well know that this was a good date. take me home.”

keith obediently revs his motorcycle, and they take off together. over the roar of the bike and the wind, keith does not hear lance say, “the best date.”

they arrive back at lance’s house. lance is still awkward clambering off the bike, but its better this time. keith boots down the kickstand, and when he turns back up, lance is right there.

“the best date,” lance says, knowing full well that keith is going to hear him this time. he pulls off keith’s helmet, steps close, and keith only has a flash of realization for whats about to happen before lance kisses him.

“the best date,” keith agrees, awestruck.

“i’ll text you,” says lance.

“can’t wait,” says keith.

lance’s hands are still fisted in keiths jacket. “i think this is the part where you drive away.”

“or it’s the part where i ask if i can see you again. are you free this weekend?”

“if im not, i’ll move plans. count on it.” lance lets his hands fall. “you look good out of the apron, by the way.” he hands keith his helmet. “safety first. dont ruin your face, or i might not go out with you again.”

keith rolls his eyes. “its been a privilege.” he wants to kiss lance again. “see you friday.”

he starts his motorcycle, checks over his shoulder, and kicks off onto the road, leaving lance watching after him. he cant believe its only wednesday.

#klance #klance au #fic #i guess #dont know what else to call it #but take it god its out of my hands now #also dont blame me for the content its 1 AM

[yeoldontknow]

I'm thinking of opening commissions for my writing! Do you have any advice for sites to use or pricing? Or anything in general? Thank you!

hi anon! apologies for the delay on my reply to this. ive not really been home or at my computer the last several days. and yesterday i was sick :( but !! congrats on deciding to move forward with this! its always a difficult decision to come to since its a little hard to see your work as something of value or something someone would pay for (this goes into like…fanfic as a free market method of creation as well as confidence in the self/writing skills). so im glad you decided to do it! 

i can only speak about the sites i use or have used, but these are not the only sites out there. i think perhaps the best advice you could be given is to do you research on what the legal terms each website stipulates while also getting a general feel for how easy it is to host.

going under a cut to not clog dashes! 

when i first decided to do this, i used buy me a coffee. it was fine, and very easy to set up. the benefit, i imagine, of using it is the fact that they offer some pretty nice statistics for you to see how often your page gets viewed. if youre a stats person, and want to track the number of eyes that come across your page against the number of those eyes that ask for a request to discern value, this might be the place for you! however, for some reason i had a really difficult time getting my paypal connected and set up. someone had bought a request from me and it took about 3 months and several emails to their helpdesk to get the money paid out properly. this was just my experience, and its very possible others on here use it without issue. im sure ive seen several people with a buy me a coffee button on their desktop site. so! if you check it out and feel like moving forward, im sure theres others on here who can advise on the pros and cons. 

now, i use kofi and have received the majority of my requests through this website. it links directly to my paypal and has no minimum fee limit for payouts. it allows for anonymous supporters as well, so if someone wants to support without having to ask for a full request it makes it terribly easy for them to do so. ive been using kofi for about 5 months and have had no issues - to be fair, i felt setting up my page there was even easier than buy me a coffee. i am unsure if kofi provides the same statistics, or tracks the number of page views, but for me, personally, thats not my main concern. i think the only place i feel statistically oriented is AO3 lmao anyway, i really like hosting on kofi and recommend them highly.

another place is patreon. i know @dark-muse-iris uses patreon for her followers and from what i gather she, and her patrons, loves it. this is where legal terms come into play, like i mentioned earlier. on kofi, there are clauses that stipulate you cannot distribute porn, sex work, etc on the website. if you request a work of smut from me through kofi, i am technically breaking the legal terms. this is why my kofi is linked on my tumblr, but my tumblr is not linked (directly) on my kofi. am i breaking laws? yes, but i dont have enough of a following to garner the value of having patreon. i have a lot of followers, but im very aware engagement on my blog comes in waves and i also just am not around enough or energetic enough to maintain the energy needed to sustain a patreon. i dont know how people do it, and this is probably due to my lack of education on managing a patreon in general, but i admire those that do. now, i mention patreon, because patreon doesnt have legal terms that specifically stipulate distribution of erotica - again, this was the lat time i checked and my understanding. this could really be totally different, so if im incorrect please correct me.

as for price points, those numbers are entirely up to you. and by that i mean, it is beneficial to consider how long it takes you to write x number of words, the ease vs difficulty of creating those words based on member, and the general word count of what you produce. i broke mine up into various levels - drabble, one shot, and mini series. for one shots there is a range of 2-5k, and 5k+); mini series are up to 3 parts and no more. this is because i am a very flowery, long winded writer. i have been writing long enough to know this about myself and find staying under 1K a challenge. 

for me, i also felt it would be important to work with my requestor. if they want someone that is far longer or doesnt fit into what ive described, im happy to work with them and come to a price together that they can afford.

HOWEVER. probably the best advice i can give, apart from ensuring you read legal terms, is encouraging you to stick to your boundaries. i have a clear list of rules, and on those rules a very explicit list of what i will not write. these rules are not to be broken, and if they are, its okay for you to delete the request. offer a refund and politely decline. you are not beholden to a request that makes you uncomfortable, anxious, or triggered just because someone gave you money for it. before you open any of these pages, consider what your limits are - who you will write for, how much you will write, and what you absolutely will or cannot write - and clearly state them. never push yourself past a boundary on behalf of someone else.

i hope this all helps!

#writing advice

[iguiqkbiyviv-blog]

10 Reasons To How To See Private Instagram Accounts

setting your Profile as Private in fact helps to knock out unwanted people from accessing your pics and videos. Privacy is built for better user experience, but it can next be infuriating in the business where you desire to view a private Instagram profile. So, here Ive created a lead virtually how to view Private Instagram Profiles and (Instagram Private Profile Viewer, veracity or scam!) Instagram is really the best platform to part pictures and videos. This platform gives us fine privacy and security features which are totally useful to the users. Private Profile is a widely used feature because it stops unwanted people from looking at your pics and videos on Insta.

How To See Private Instagram

People are finding a mannerism to spy on Instagram profiles and searching for how to view private Instagram profiles without subsequent to and no survey.spy upon private instagram account In fact, many online tools claim that they bill as Instagram private profile viewer. So, Ill be reviewing such tools and will plus view private instagram pretense you the correct keen process to view private Instagram profiles without gone them and gone proof. There are many reasons to spy on Instagram profiles. Such as looking what your crush is in the works to, spying upon competitors profile and many supplementary reasons next that. Just follow the behavior Ive shown here and youll be nimble to view private Instagram profile without having any problem. Note: Ive just reviewed some online Instagram Private Profile Viewers. I know definitely with ease that those tools are just hoax and dont work. But, this little evaluation might be willing to help for you to understand that we cant helpfully view private Instagram profiles using some online tools. In order to begin my little research, I compulsion to locate a most used tool which claims to pretend you private profiles pics etc. So, I suitably visited Google and searched for Instagram Private Profile Viewer. There were wealth of tools listed in the search results. I clicked on the first consequences and landed on a website in the same way as this URL: www.privateinstaviewer.com. The homepage looks attractive and there was a button motto Click Here To View Private Instagram Account Now, fascinating right! By clicking instagram profile viewer upon that button, I was redirected to a extra webpage where username of Insta account needs to be entered.view private instagram profile I clearly entered my own account username. After 4-5 seconds they even asked me to choose whether I want to view the Photos or Profile details. Looks enormously fascinating and it seems that private details will be in tummy of me within a few seconds.how to view private instagram profile From combined options, Photos substitute was selected by me. After 10+ seconds, loading stops and WHACK! Nothing appeared on the screen. Even after combined tries, no details were served to me. Disappointing to me and roughly all the people who had used it. :/view private instagram profile free Now, its certainly distinct that this website is feint and not working. as regards 4-5 websites were reviewed by me and every of them arent working. Even some sites desire users to solution a survey which is very full of spam and misleading. fast Note: You shouldnt use Private Instagram Viewer tools or services. The explanation in back this is easy and its the fact that none of those tools are full of zip and wont play in you the private Instagram Profile Pics and Videos etc. Instead, those are misleading and even full of spammy software etc. end wasting your times and follow the real exaggeration to view private Instagram profiles. Now lets directly jump into the methods which are in point of fact useful to view Private Instagram Profiles. As Ive already told you above that tools arent going to back you in any way. every of them are misleading and they cant suitably bypass the Instagram security in order to fetch Pictures and Videos from a private Insta account.Hence, you probably infatuation a practicing and easiest way. Ive listed alongside every the exaggeration you can use or follow. all of them arent rocket science or something which needs a lot of rarefied experience.

Get This About

Those are just easy and methodical actions and after that filled behind social engineering. It might hermetic a tiny bit strange to most people. But receive me, its in fact an simple process and theres even no craving to use your personal details with Name, E-Mail, Phone etc. Ill lead you through step by step procedure to create an account and tiny bit social engineering lead to create that person take your follow request which will be sent by a private instagram pretend account. Instagram allows users to make an account just by using an E-Mail address. So, its great opportunity for every of us. Just follow the step by step process to view profile of private Instagram account without any tool. We craving a act out E-Mail address, I suggest you to use www.temp-mail.org website. Youll be automatically perfect a work E-Mail behind you visit them for the first time Copy the E-Mail quarters and switch help to the Insta Sign-Up form.How To View a Private Instagram Profile We moreover obsession a discharge duty username, consequently environment clear to check the list of funny usernames and choose a fine username from the list. It can see subsequently a enormously simple task right! But, you nevertheless dependence to be creative even if creating a do its stuff profile. make instagram profile picture viewer positive youve to use the relavant account picture. In fact, you should set your account to Private for that reason that the person wont be practiced to see your uploads etc. until he/she follows you back. Just create your account see genuine and your follow request will be trendy by that person. Dont use some common pics or misleading username. make it see real and next you can view Instagram private profiles later than ease using your slant Insta account. This can be a little bit maddening and time-consuming. In fact, there are unquestionably fewer chances that youll succeed in it. Its because at least one of your follower/following account should be next the account upon which you desire to spy on. understand it by this example, lets tell Im next an account later than username example_account. Now, following I visit a profile which is already followed by example_account, but not by me, Ill see a tiny pronouncement proverb Followed By example_account, example_account1 etc. (See The Image alongside Below)followed by details later you found such an account, you just obsession to DM that person and ask if he/she can help you or not. Write a detailed declaration on why you want to spy on that account and there are good sufficient chances that he/she will encourage you in spying.

Briefing

These are the lonely methods which will perform for you. Its because theres no tool or assistance which can bypass the Privacy and entry the content of a Private account on Instagram. So, dont waste your era view private instagram upon such hoax and fraud online tools. Instead, use your mind and creativity. Follow the 2 methods which Ive shown. Set up the fake account cleverly and there are completely tall chances that he/she will take follow request of your account. create a woman account. Its because males take the follow requests of females, and females dont even mind to accept the demand from different female. We know this situation extremely well. Both the methods will encourage you to view private Instagram profiles without any trouble. fall down your suggestions in the comment section. portion your experience when all the readers.