55 bc its a good number. also i hate it when there are songs about romance and sex that also just have the perfect musical accompaniment. like, the tone and vibe of the song works absolutely perfectly for an au or story i devise but the lyrics are just the lewdest thing ever lmao
i wouldn't say i listen to lewd music in general because it really aint my thing, but i agree that i have a LOT of songs i love, that would probably fit various AUs or stories really well if they weren't obviously about romance. these days i normally just live with it (see: titling my grumbot fic with a line from love like ghosts by LH despite the story being platonic) but it does spice this challenge up lol
ironically, given the subject of this ask, you gave me a great song to work with!
Take a little spark
From a battery
Electricity
And put me back together
Back together, yeah
Take a human heart
Add some vanity
Authenticity
And put them all together
Do whatever
To your broken machine
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒░░░░▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
Grumbot didn't really know what he was.
He wasn't a good robot. If he was a good robot, he wouldn't make mistakes. His computer would always be correct. He would be precise, accurate, and always give his dads the correct answer. That's the only thing he wanted to do--help them. And if he was a good robot, he would have the right answers.
But he didn't make for a good person either. He wasn't ever meant to be alive like this, was he? He saw the first time when he called his dads "dad" for the first time. Before, he had just used "creators" like he'd been programmed to. But that word didn't really encompass what he felt for them.
They'd been surprised. Open to it, but surprised. At the time Grumbot was just happy that they accepted it, but over time, in the late nights when his processor supposed to be on standby, he thought about it. He knew that having a family was a thing that people did. So he made himself a family, with two dads. But he wasn't really like them, was he?
People moved around, went places, socialized. Grumbot stayed stationary. There was a world around him but he had only a platform. They normally had voices to talk with; Grumbot just had text. They bled and lived and died and had warm bodies and....Grumbot just had a CPU that ran hot sometimes and wires for veins.
He could tell that when his dads looked at him, they just saw a robot. They were nice to him. They were kind to him. They spoke to him. But they treated him more like a tool than a son. They had built him to help them win the Mayoral campaign, and that was the only reason they ever stopped by to chat.
So maybe he was just a robot. A robot with two dads and an important job and computer for a brain and that was it.
Except machines weren't meant to want to be loved. They weren't meant to want anything.
Maybe if he was good enough to help his dad become mayor, then they'd love him back and he wouldn't have to worry about this anymore.
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Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.
And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.
And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.
Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.
This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.
And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.
Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.
So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.
It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.
Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.
These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.
Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.
Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.
And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).
But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.
Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.
On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:
"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."
Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.
And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.
Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.
So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.
This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.
In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.
To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.
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Out of respect for the discord, I'm gonna say this here, because I was watching the eclipse and killing my car during the discussion.
Fanon =/= Headcanon, and it's not the same as a singular fan's headcanon that isn't supported by canon
Fanon is essentially a reading, interpretation, or headcanon that spreads widely in a fandom and gets adopted as a popularly accepted "fandom canon." Such as Sheriff Stilinski's first name being John before the show named him something completely incorrect.
Headcanon is personal to each individual's preferred reading of the show, based on canon or not. A canon that exists in one person's head.
The reason fanon tends to have a pejorative tone in fandom is because some fans are prone to attacking others for not accepting a common fanon, or the readings of "subtext" that led to it, as canon. And they insist that the way THEY read canon is the ONLY possible reading of canon.
And, personally, I think it's important to distinguish my headcanon of bi!dean (and aro!dean) apart from the fanon (dare i say, qfanon) of the hellers' bi!dean. The particular distinguishment being that I understand that wasn't the intent of canon, and there was no hidden bi agenda that got snuffed.
Having some of the same bi!dean subtext notes isn't the problem. It's when someone insists that was the intent. It's the unironic "there is no heterosexual reason for this" of it all. I know we're all queer shipping around here and all, but that doesn't exclude a certain whiff of homophobia and gender binary shit to the insistence that straight guys can't do [thing].
Just because you read Dean's look at Dr Sexy as queer, doesn't mean that's what it was. TPTB have said this themselves. And just because [a character from the book the vibes of spn was based on] was intended as bi doesn't mean Dean was intended to be bi. You can read that subtext into your headcanon, but that doesn't make it canon overall. Not even if it becomes fanon.
So when someone insists that's what it WAS not what they HEADCANON it was, it starts to make those of us scarred by heller qfanon very wary.
That said. We need to stop conflating fanon and headcanon so we can each enjoy our individual readings and share in the love of the show.
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I'm rewatching TL (nothing new there) and its really bugging me this time round how Ted is clearly aware that the traumatic event of his childhood has had a negative impact on his psyche and the way he behaves as an adult, yet he seems unwilling to give Jamie the same acknowledgement
yeah i think a lot of the disconnect between them actually comes from Ted comparing his situation and dad trauma to Jamie's situation and dad trauma without recognizing that they are actually very different situations and that he and Jamie are two very different people who deal with trauma differently as well.
Like, his whole speech about "sometimes having a tough dad makes you stronger/better/whatever the fuck" when Jamie asks to be let back on the team is for me a reflection that 1) One of Ted's own personal coping mechanisms is telling himself he's "overcome" the trauma of his dad's death and come out the other side of it a better & kinder (curious, not judgemental) person. When really he very much hasn't overcome it (in fact it's not something that can be 'overcome,' so to speak) and has only shoved it deeper down until it all comes bubbling back up again during the show.
And 2) it's easier for Ted to assume Jamie copes in the same way (and will therefore be reassured by the notion that he's a great player because 'surviving' his father's abuse has made him tougher and more driven) rather than actually reflecting upon or unpacking Jamie's completely separate situation.
what's fascinating to me is that when Ted superimposes his own situation onto Jamie he has Jamie playing two roles. One is Ted himself, who desperately and genuinely wants to forgive his own father (and therefore he think forgiveness is a good idea for Jamie) and the second is Henry, who Ted wants desperately to forgive him (and therefore he needs to believe Jamie can forgive his father, so that Henry will forgive him).
Anyway, that's why Jamie features so heavily in all of Ted's panic attacks despite the fact that the two of them are not actually that close and Ted actually knows very little about him.
Of course, the person who comes out worse in this messy dynamic is Jamie, who gets a lot of very bad advice from Ted as a result. And yeah it can be really bothersome as a viewer because I do think the state of Ted's mental health does continually result in him letting Jamie specifically down.
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