#is almost entirely due to the fact that you're WASTING TIME when youre supposed to be GOING TO THE HOSPITAL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

halstudandruz · 7 months

Text

Thigh or Nothing

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Matt Casey x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Months after your breakup Matt loses his cool

Warnings: smut (18+), thigh riding, jealous!Matt, edging, swearing

A/N: Continuing to live in my happy world where all my boys are alive and still in Chicago 🫶

“I’m sorry, [Y/N]. We did all we could.” Connor broke the news to you and you could almost feel your heart breaking into two.

“Thanks Connor. I know you did.” You sighed, he gave you a sympathetic nod, picking three beer bottles up and heading back towards his table.

It was the cherry on top of your week. Which was without question the worst since you had become a paramedic 6 years prior. You shouldn’t have asked, you're not supposed to ask and how you felt right this second made the reason clear. Like your entire job was a waste. Which deep down obviously wasn’t true. The lives you saved had outweighed the lives lost, but that fact didn’t always matter. Not when you gave your blood, sweat, and tears to save a child who they would only end up losing on the table hours later. The less you knew of the outcome the better, you could at least pretend they all had a happy ending then. You were glad your partner hadn’t come out tonight. At least then she could live in the dark of the truth, one that you would never tell her. Swallowing the lump in your throat you gestured for Stella who was filling a glass with beer. She handed the beverage to a man at the other end of the bar making her way towards you.

“Can I get a shot? Surprise me, something strong.” You requested just as a body slid into the chair next to you. The only seat still available at the bar. Glancing to your left your stomach only tightened.

“Hey.” Your ex boyfriend gave you a genuine smile hanging his coat on the back of the stool.

“Well if it isn’t Matthew Casey.” The blonde to his left interrupted before you could answer. His attention quickly turned to a girl you recognized from the State Attorney’s office. How you didn’t realize she was sitting there before was beyond you. You had loathed her from the moment she tried to entice Matt into getting a drink when you were out of town after him and Severide had helped them with a case.

“Kaylee, hey how are you?” Matt greeted, and you could see the minute she turned her charm on, turning her body to face him, chest popping out slightly, eyelashes fluttering, and a soft smirk appearing on her lips. You would venture a guess that she had heard about your breakup somehow, not that she cared if he was in a relationship before. Stella appeared back in front of you.

“Yeah, make that two.” You sighed downing the tequila.

“[Y/N].” Stella warned glancing over to Matt and Kaylee who were now laughing. She was your best friend which meant she was also in charge of nixing your bad decisions when it was warranted.

“Just one more.” You looked at her pleading, she knew what a rough week it had been and you knew she was looking out for you but right now you didn’t care. She shook her head grabbing a bottle to fill the shot glass in front of you. “Thank you.” You nodded after feeling the burn down your throat a second time. You could feel Matt’s side eye and chose to ignore it for the better.

Thirty minutes later the shots were beginning to buzz in your bones only furthering your irritation when you watched Kaylee lean whispering into Matt’s ear.

“Hey.” A voice over your shoulder caused you to jump.

“What’s up?” You forced a smile at Severide. You and Severide had become close friends throughout the years mostly due to the grief of losing your partner and his best friend, sticking by each other’s sides through the thick of it, always having him nearby was a comfort.

“Just wanted to check in on you.” He sat down in the seat beside you that had been vacated 10 minutes ago. The one you were about to move to hoping it would lessen your ability of hearing Kaylee’s dare you say pathetic flirting.

“Yeah, I’m good!” You nodded, high pitched voice a little excessive. Were you coping super well? Not exactly. Trying to dissociate tragedies was supposed to come natural to you, just like everyone else in the firehouse and normally you could maybe, but Chicago seemed to implode this week and despite all your best efforts you were fighting a losing battle on almost all occasions. That’s the reason you asked Connor about the little boy from this morning expecting a good report and your spirits to be raised only to be shocked at the truth.

“Mhmm,” he raised an eyebrow glancing over your shoulder at his best friend’s back, “I’m sure that’s true.”

“It’s just like.. does he have to do it right here.” You rolled your eyes, whispering to Kelly, for no good reason since Matt was clearly so enthralled in conversation he wouldn’t have heard you anyway.

“Payback is a bitch, [Y/L/N].” Kelly chuckled, eliciting confusion to appear on your face.

“What does that even mean?” You tried to take a drink before realizing your glass had nothing but ice left, “Gallo,” you summed the dark haired man over holding your drink up.

“You know, [Y/N], I get off early tonight.” Gallo filled your glass wiggling his eyebrows which earned a laugh from Severide. Blake was cute, adorable actually. The kind of guy that would fall at a woman’s feet, make her wonder why she ever spent her life with any other loser. Not someone you wasted a quick hookup on, and right now that’s all you wanted.

“Yeah buddy, see how well that plays out for you.” Severide wore a smug grin, which annoyed you just because he was skilled at getting girls in bed with him didn’t mean he could make fun of the poor kid.

“Ritter gonna be out tonight? Cause I tend to get loud.” You lowered your voice head cocking to the side, a flirty grin appearing on your face, instantly causing redness to form around Blake’s cheeks as he slid the newly filled glass towards you.

“God knows that’s the truth.” Severide huffed, taking a drink of his beer, and your head whipped to him, a scowl appearing.

“Oh fuck you, I had to deal with your hookups on god knows what surfaces for practically a year straight so hush,” You shoved him, you and Matt hadn’t exactly lived together, but you might as well have. You stayed with him practically every night off and since Severide was his roommate he may have been unfortunate enough to be subjected to your pleasure induced sounds every once in a while. “And don’t act like you didn’t like it.” You teased.

Gallo coughed around the drink of water he had just taken, obviously taken back.

You had considered continuing the charade until you heard Kaylee ask Matt if his place was close. Stomach clenching at the words you moved quickly to take a drink, too quickly apparently as the drink ended up in Matt’s lap instead of in your mouth.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry!” Heat immediately surfaced on your face. You truly didn’t mean to knock your full glass into Matt’s lap. The adrenaline from your jealousy mixed with everything else that week had you completely flustered and the cup slipped right out of your hand, but you knew from the outside looking in it would never look that way.

You could hear Kaylee scoff, looking up to see her roll her eyes dramatically. “Matt I didn’t-“ You flushed taking a single napkin trying and failing to help the mess at all.

“[Y/N], it’s fine. I just..I’ll be back.” He waved you off, stepping towards the bathroom.

“That was convenient.” Kaylee commented harshly, taking a sip of her martini.

“Believe me you don’t want to go there tod-“ You began to stand up, but beside you Kelly squeezed your knee keeping you put.

“Hey, it's not worth it. Trust me.” He encouraged, prompting you to shut up. Was it a good idea to get into a cat fight with an attorney? Probably not, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t tempting.

“Yeah, thanks. I’m going to go check on Casey.” You patted him on the shoulder heading towards the bathroom, throwing the blonde a glare.

“Matt?” You knocked on the door as a warning before pushing it open. The hand dryer on the wall was loudly whirring as he stood underneath it, the handle pointed at his crotch as best as it could be.

“I’m not mad,” he started the minute you appeared in front of the door, “I know you’ve had a rough week and don’t like her and you have every right not to, but-“ at his words your jaw almost dropped to the ground cutting him off.

“You’re not actually implying I did that on purpose.” You scoffed in disbelief, he knew you better than that.

“What am I supposed to think? It was pretty convenient timing, and I watched you down two shots the moment she started talking to me.” He laid his line of thinking out, and it was fair. Did you love seeing Kaylee flirt with him? Not for a single second. Were you trying to get trashed tonight? Absolutely. But regardless you would never do that to him.

“Fuck you, Matt. We both know we do what we need to in order to get through some weeks and sometimes that includes alcohol.” You defended, your face was beginning to heat up in anger at the accusation escalating. Not to mention you were far from drunk.

“Does that include hooking up with your superiors?” He quipped, making your heart drop at the realization he knew what the last few months held for you after your split.

“How do you know about that?” Panic took hold of your chest. Nobody was supposed to know, it could be really bad for both of you if anyone had found out about you and Hawkins.

“I have my sources.” He blew you off, once again hitting the hand dryer on the wall aiming his other thigh at it now. You weren’t dumb you knew exactly who his sources were, and Stella was gonna get an ear full later. She should know full well that anything that goes into her boyfriend’s ears will undoubtedly be in his best friend’s soon after. You and Kelly might’ve been close but he had an obvious loyalty to his partner in crime, “I’m just saying I haven’t felt the need to cause drama anytime you’ve left with Evan or your pick of the night.” His voice was raised even as the dryer dwindled to a stop.

“So, you’re slut shaming me now then? Is that what we’re doing?” You crossed your arms against your chest getting defensive

“Oh, come on [Y/N]. You know I’d never do that. Have all the sex you want, with whoever you want. It’s none of my business. I’d just request that you don’t let your ego cockblock me next time I’m trying to do the same.” He bit back. You knew he was right. He would never actually slut shame you and the accusation was a low blow, but the alcohol was causing annoyance to course throughout your body. Only heightened the second you watched him lean closer to the attorney.

“My ego? Really?” You laughed, humorously.

“Yes, your ego. You were jealous. Go ahead and admit it,” he encouraged and you rolled your eyes refusing to do as he asked, “you think I like watching you leave here with guys wrapped around your finger? I don’t at all, but at least I can admit it.” He took a paper towel from the dispenser. You had no idea why he was furiously dabbing at the mess, it was pretty clear the wreckage was cleaned as much as it possibly could be.

“This is ridiculous.” You huffed, the conversation was going absolutely nowhere. On a normal everyday basis you and Matt had been pretty good at putting your breakup on the back burner. Having to work with each other wasn’t always easy, but you both were handling it well with dignity and respect. Tonight, on the other hand, was different. Tempers were beginning to flare, and filters were flying out the window. All you were trying to do was offer him a genuine apology, but all you were getting in return was underhanded comments. “The only thing I came in here to do was take responsibility and apologize for an accident. I don’t know what your problem is.” You did not foresee this turning into a fight when you got up.

“You are!” He exclaimed, jaw tightening.

“Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?” Your emotions were beginning to boil. This made sense though. Your split was pretty amicable. Too afraid to say something and regret it later. Only having to face it every other day for the rest of your life, but maybe you were being too cautious. Maybe things needed to be said. Maybe mistakes needed to be made.

“You are,” he reiterated, stepping closer to you finally lowering his voice, “do you know how goddamn hard it’s been to see you leave here every week with a different guy? To hear that you’re fucking Hawkins when you’re all that’s still on my mind?” His voice was quivering and it took you a minute to adjust to the sudden change in tension. Surprised at his admission. You had never seen Matt like this. Even when you were together if someone had hit on you or overstepped their bounds he would kindly and calmly inform them that you were taken. Just as you would expect Matt Casey to. But this was something else. Months of built up jealousy, unable to do or say anything about it apparently taking a toll. His hand was gripping the sink so hard his knuckles were pure white, an anguished look in his eyes as he thought about it, and it was undeniably sexy. “I know that I have no right, but good lord, [Y/N]. It is slowly kill-“ You couldn’t even allow him to say another word. You were certain if you didn’t get your hands on him within the second you were going to burst into flames, gripping his face tightly, quickly molding his lips to yours. The rhythm was quick to find, familiarity not too far gone.

It didn't take Matt very long to take advantage of the kiss, pushing you back a few steps against the nearest wall, forcing his tongue into your mouth. Your hand found its way to the hair at the back of his neck threading your fingers through it. It was intense, fire quickly spreading through your body, slotting your hips against his leg, hips moving in desperation.

“Look at you, so fucking desperate. Like you haven’t been fucked right in months.” Matt’s hand rested on your ass encouraging the movement, lips moving down your neck.

It was true. Right after you and Matt had broken up you began frequenting bars, joining hookup apps, going home with a different guy multiple times a week. The problem was nobody matched up to him. There were some decent ones and some really sucky ones too, only concerned about how fast they could get there, skipping foreplay almost entirely, but no matter what without fail it always ended with you craving your ex. The only one to even slightly quench your thirst was your boss, Evan Hawkins so an occasional hookup may or may not have happened. What Matt clearly didn’t know is the agreement you two had, had recently come to an end after learning of a friend’s interest in the Chief. Leading to those hookups to become extinct over a month ago. So, whatever he was offering you were willing to take it without hesitation.

His teeth nipping at your collarbone only furthered your need allowing him to push you down harder on his leg. Leaning closer into him you took ahold of his hand that was gripping your hip trying to move it under your skirt.

“Uh uh uh,” He resisted, “it’s my thigh or nothing, baby.” He wore a cocky smirk, only growing the second you whined a quiet,

“Matt.” A defeated, pleading look appearing in your eyes. While his attitude was angering you slightly, only wanting to reach a high right this second, and you had no doubt his fingers could do exactly that, you couldn't deny how hot this was and how his ultimatum only furthered the wetness building between your legs.

“Show me how bad you need it, princess, but try not to be too loud there is an entire bar of our coworkers 50 feet away.” His thigh tightened as if he was wanting you to go against his warning, a strangled moan on the tip of your tongue, body getting as close to you as he possibly could so his smell engulfed you, a smell you missed having wrapped around you more than you thought.

You whimpered into his neck pushing your hips down harder, and you could feel him steadily growing against your hip. “You’re so beautiful you know that?” He complimented both hands moving to your ass encouraging you to speed up your movements, the friction from the denim winding a coil in your stomach. Your fingers clawed at his biceps looking for as much contact as possible. Head falling back against the wall, your eyes closing tightly, your breathing was starting to speed up shakily with every grind of your hips.

“Matt, I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if it’s enough.” You admitted, the knot growing but only torturing you as you continued to rut against his leg, needy whimpers spilling from your mouth.

“Yes, you can. I know you can. You want me so bad? Make a mess on me first. Be a good girl.” Matt encouraged flexing the muscle in his thigh once again, dragging his teeth down the side of your throat stopping to bite behind your ear, one hand coming up to tweak your hardened nipple over your top and you finally snapped, a breathless moan falling from your lips as Matt helped work you through your high.

“Good thing you already fucked up my pants earlier or else I’d be pretty concerned about the mess you're leaving behind right now. Your panties are going to be ruined.�� He wasn’t kidding, there was absolutely zero doubt he would have evidence of this encounter on his thigh if you stepped off right now. He was however wrong about one thing.

“Not wearing any.” You shrugged, letting your leg fall shakily from Matt’s hip.

“For fucks sake.” He groaned pupils flashing even darker, roughly gripping the back of your neck and pulling your lips back to his for a sloppy kiss.

“Yours? It’s closer.” You mumbled into his neck after pulling away to get a breath, biting it playfully. Nodding he stepped back to pull his phone out of his pocket to reserve an Uber and unsurprisingly there was indeed a dark spot staining his jeans, but all you were focused on was the bulge to the right of it, mouth watering contemplating dropping to your knees right there, missing the weight of his cock on your tongue, when he grabbed your hand.

“We’ll go out the back.” He gave you a quick kiss, opening the door to check for anyone before sneaking through the kitchen out into the cold, a car pulling up to the curb just as you made it around the building.

The minute you were in the Uber your mouth was back on his.

“Sorry to interrupt but I’m gonna need an address confirmation before you suck all the air outta his lungs, honey.” A nice older woman, joked from the driver's seat. Blushing you mumbled an apology putting some space between you two. Matt chuckled in amusement, confirming the address on the screen.

“Probably get a lot of this, this time of night huh?” Matt began a conversation hand resting teasingly high on your thigh.

“Absolutely, but I don’t mind. It’s nice to see young people having fun. It’s cliche but you really do only live once and y’all are in your prime years. They go faster than you think. So, as long as everyone is being safe and aren’t actually doing anything disrespectful in my backseat I don’t mind.” She smiled, kindly. The conversation continued for the remaining 5 minutes until she pulled in front of Matt’s apartment building. “Have a good night you two. Be safe.” She winked. Giggling you got out thanking her, approving of Matt’s 5 star review and generous tip once you made it in the elevator. Your hand was clasped in his, thighs involuntarily rubbing together at the tension, having to behave with all your might thanks to the elderly couple who accompanied you.

As soon as the door to his apartment was closed and your shoes were discarded his mouth was back on yours, stealing your breath at the need he conveyed. Untucking your top from the skirt it was discarded on the hardwood, tapping your thighs you took the hint allowing him to wrap your legs around him walking you to his bedroom. It had been the first time you had been back in the apartment since the breakup. Heart aching as your mind flashbacked to Matt swallowing harshly, blinking back his tears, in an attempt to put on a strong front as you walked out.

Luckily, you were quickly teleported back to the present once your back hit his bed, allowing him to pull his shirt off in one movement.

You would never not stare, never could not stare at a shirtless Matt Casey. You had made it a point not to be near him in the locker room recently because it just was not a power you possessed. Not sure how it was a power anyone could possess as your eyes raked over his broad chest, his forearms and hands causing your hips to wiggle slightly. He didn’t let you gaze long though, bending to attack your bare chest. Hand moving between your thighs to learn you weren’t lying earlier, a groan escaping him at the finding. His lips laid kisses all over your breasts, fingers moving to trail down your slit hips immediately jumping.

“So needy.” His free hand squeezed your hip forcing it down, just as he pressed a finger in slowly you let out a deep sigh. It wasn’t enough, you needed more immediately.

“More..” You requested as he curled his finger just right putting more pressure against your waist when your pelvis fought to jerk forward. Obliging, he added a second finger increasing the speed. Your body was begging you to work for it, wanting to rock your hips down to ride his hand but his strong hold was preventing it. A groan fell from your lips the minute his thumb met your clit rubbing soft circles.

“You wanna come on my fingers?” He whispered in your ear, biting it softly. You were breathing heavily, quickly nodding your head yes in response. Your walls clenching when he crooked his fingers once again, so damn close, when he pulled away from you.

“Matt, what the fuck?” You whimpered, squirming under his lustful gaze.

“I don’t think you’re ready yet.” He brushed you off, but the glint in his eye proved how much he enjoyed this and it was clear you were in for a long night, leaning forward he pulled your last piece of clothing down your legs roughly tugging you towards the edge of the bed by your ankles, ending on his knees between your legs, and it was a sight to behold. One of your favorites if you were being honest. You were taken back at the lack of teasing the minute Matt shoved his mouth into your pussy, tongue darting out to lick your clit, a wail echoing from your lips, “You taste so damn good, forever my favorite meal, baby.” He praised nipping the sides of your thighs when his finger circled your entrance once again filling you. You directed all your focus towards keeping quiet as the knot grew tighter with every movement, hoping if you didn’t give him any sign of how close you were you could trick him into letting you come, hands twisted tight in the sheets when he sucked your clit finger curling to hit your sweet spot, but at the last second he pulled away, ripping you back from the brink once again.

“Fuck!” You huffed, hand punching the sheets, Matt chuckled above you,

“You’re so cute thinking I don’t know your body like the back of my hand.” And okay while this sucked, cocky Matt was intoxicating.

He edged you three more times and you were so wound up you feared the second he got in you, you would burst. You were physically panting, tears covering the sheets under your head.

“Matt-please. I’ll fucking call Hawkins right now.” You bargained, and despite the jealously that flashed deeper on his face he grinned smugly.

“You think threatening me right now is a good idea?” His eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know! I just need something, anything please.” Your thighs squeezed together begging for friction. Your eyes traveled down the man’s body, hardness in his jeans more than evident and you reached out towards him, missing the feeling of him in your hand, getting to watch his face scrunch in pleasure with just a flick of your wrist, but he caught your hand.

“Tonight’s about you baby, and making you wonder why you’d ever want someone else to put their dick in you.” He winked, his words actually surprised you. He was never this territorial over you, but it lit an even bigger fire inside of you. “Tell me what you want.” He ordered hands resting against the edge of the bed.

“You, right now. Anyway you’ll give it to me.” You wasted no time in answering, batting your eyelashes.

Smiling he finally pulled his jeans and boxers down allowing the bulge in his pants room breathe, tip red and dripping, moving to hover on top of you, he teased his cock through your wetness appreciating the way your cheeks flushed, his pupils dark not allowing you much time to drool, “Condom?” He asked, seemingly forgetting until this point not used to having to use them with you since you were on birth control, “I’m sure Severide has some.” You could see the hurt in his eyes from having to ask, and it made your heart ache in turn, but you shook your head,

“I’ve made everyone else wear one.” You explained, hooking your legs around his hips and his relief was obvious.

“Ready?” He leaned down to place a soft kiss on your forehead, a welcoming softness in a tension filled room.

“God, yes.” You wiggled your hips attempting to angle him in.

At the confirmation Matt thrusted deep into you pulling a gasp out of you at the roughness. You could vividly remember the first time Matt and you had sex. Gentle, intimate, loving after years of longing and avoiding the inevitable between you two. Completely different than right now. You wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow you found marks from the Captain’s fingers around your hips pulling you towards him feverishly, everytime his dick thrusted forward into you, and it was exactly what you needed. It took a whole two seconds for you to fill the room with moans, allowing him to manhandle you from the start. He maneuvered your legs from his hips to his shoulders enabling him to go deeper, screaming when he thrusted his hips the perfect way, “Matt-oh my god,“ your body was tightening embarrassingly fast.

“Yeah, baby?” He gritted, and you were extremely impressed at how well he was keeping his composure tonight.

“You’re so fucking good.” You complimented through ragged breaths, eyes tightly shutting at the growing pressure.

“Go and fuck whoever you want, but you’re always gonna end up back here, baby. Cause nobody can fuck this pussy better than me, huh? Tell me I’m right baby girl, you don’t come until you do.” He bargained, pulling out so just the tip was in you, slowing down his thrusts. You didn’t want to give in, to give him the satisfaction regardless of it being the truth, but based on how he was acting tonight you really believed if you didn’t confirm his suspicions he wouldn’t let you come, and you just might actually die if that was the case. Literally whining, tears springing to your eyes, your feet dug into his shoulders in an attempt to make him go deeper. So fucking close, your muscles hurt from the strain of being so tightly wound time and time again, “Sweetheart, I can come just like this right now if you want me to. Be like every other guy you’ve been with recently. Is that what you want?” His tone was dripping in arrogance and his shallow thrusts were successfully torturing you. How this side of him could be completely infuriating but completely erotic at the same time was beyond your comprehension at the moment. You had never been so distraught, allowing your pride to go out the window without a second thought.

“Matt-“ you felt the tears starting to run down your face, “please. It’s you- it’s yours. Need you, always need you. Please let me come.” Your breathing was ragged, hips doing their best to entice him closer, pull him in on their own accord.

“Good girl.” He praised leaning down to kiss the tears away softly, “you’re so damn pretty.” He smiled genuinely, studying your features.

“Fuck me, Captain.” You smirked, although enjoying the snippet of fluff. Laughing, Casey returned to his previous position.

“Remember you asked for it.” He teased throwing you a wink before flipping you over on your stomach, ramming into you harder this time. The bunch of nerves you had felt plenty of times tonight already quickly returning full force, Matt was finally starting to lose his cool, grunts falling from his lips.

“Fuck, [Y/N].” Looking over your shoulder you could see his eyes were between your legs intently watching where you two met, a sight you wish you had the ability to see.

“Matt-“ a broken sob fell from your lips, “so close.” You were attempting to move your hips with his but the brutal pace he had set was hard to match. He wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you up against his chest. Pressing the fingers from his right hand against your clit, rubbing soft circles.

“Go ahead, gorgeous.” He encouraged into your ear kissing the back of your neck, seconds later your body practically convulsed finally letting go, back arching off into his chest, a loud moan echoing in the room. Matt having to hold you up completely as you worked through your high. He followed soon after filling you with warmth every time his dick twitched. A feeling you missed more than you’d like to admit.

You lay in silence after collapsing on the mattress, legs shaking, Casey’s head dug into your neck trying to resurrect his breath, heart beating rapidly against your back. The intensity finally dwindling, causing an unwelcome sob to break out of you at the sudden change of environment. Matt’s head shot up at the sound.

“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, was it too much?” Matt’s body went rigid concern lighting his eyes, as he took your face between his hands.

“No, not at all. It was incredible. I’m sorry, I’m being ridiculous.” You tried to brush him off, a wet laugh coming out, attempting to get out from under him and off the bed.

“No, come here. Talk to me.” He repositioned you so you were now laying on top of him against his chest. Holding you tightly.

“It’s just…I’ve had the most terrible week. Truly awful and all I’ve wanted, all I’ve craved every single day was a Matthew Casey hug.” You sniffed, shaking your head embarrassingly. His arms tightened around you at your confession, dropping a kiss against your head, and the familiarity did exactly as you assumed it would, tension releasing from your body, relaxation taking over in its place.

“Baby, I’ll I’ve wanted to do this week is give you a hug. I’m right here. I’m always right here. No matter what, I’m yours, baby, and I will wait however long it takes for you to come back to me and realize that I’m the guy for you.” His hand was trailing soothingly up and down your back.

“I’m just scared, Matt.” You had never given him a true reason for leaving, claiming you just didn’t know if you felt right in a relationship at the time.

“Of what?” He asked.

“Having to watch you run into burning buildings has never been my favorite regardless of how good you look in bunker gear, but..after Otis it’s just been unbearable, and I just thought maybe if I broke it off it would get easier. It would just feel uneasy like with Kelly or Stella rather than crippling.” You explained, emotions getting the better of you as you thought back to losing Otis and having to watch Katie crumble.

Chloe had the same thoughts and luckily for Cruz she learned to accept it, but she also didn’t have to physically witness it. She didn’t have to worry every time Boden’s face ticked with concern when he didn’t like something. Didn’t have to count down the seconds waiting for him to reappear in the smoke when Boden pulled them. Didn’t have to beg your shaking hands to stay steady and focus on the patient when you heard an accidental pass alarm.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” His voice was so calm, so full of sympathy.

“What were you gonna do, Matt?” He wasn’t going to stop being a firefighter and you’d never want him to.

“I don’t know.” He admitted, “Has it worked?” It was a question he didn’t want to ask, but one he needed an answer to.

“Far from it,” you shook your head swallowing more tears, “I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it, losing Otis, watching everyone fall apart maybe it’s something I need to talk to someone about, but regardless it’s just made me realize god forbid something did happen I’d be so pissed I didn’t spend everyday with you that I could. I love you with my entire being Matthew Casey, and I think it’s pretty clear that’ll never stop.” You finally looked up at him.

“This is the dick lust talking isn’t it?” He joked after a beat of silence allowing you to laugh, smacking him in the chest. “I promise I will do everything I can to always come out for you.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear closing his eyes to kiss you on the head.

“I think jealous Matt is my new favorite Matt.” You grinned eyes sparkling.

“Hawkins is just lucky his face is still intact.” He growled, only confirming your new opinion.

“I’m hungry.” You attempted to steer off the topic, accompanied by your stomach rumbling.

“We did put in quite a workout.” Matt joked kissing your cheek, “I can order some pizza let me just see if Severide is home.” He jumped up to put a pair of sweatpants on, throwing you a Chicago Fire sweatshirt of his basking in his scent overwhelming you.

“God bless him if he is.” You winced thinking back to his comment in the bar earlier. Throwing the piece of clothing on as Matt disappeared into the hallway.

Two minutes later the man in question appeared in your doorway, arms crossed against his chest, a cocky look on his face.

“You seriously need to learn these walls aren’t soundproof.” He quipped, forcing a blush on your cheeks.

“You know what? You had to have seen the trail of clothes when you got home you knew what you were getting into.” You defended, shrugging.

“I’m just kidding, I got home like two minutes ago. Figured I’d give you some time when neither of you happened to come back to the bar.” He laughed when you rolled your eyes, walking to sit on the bottom of the bed, “I’m sorry for telling him about Hawkins by the way. I was just trying to kick his ass into gear.”

“Alright, it’s ordered, 35 minutes.” Matt announced as he reappeared in the room, climbing back into his bed beside you pulling you into his side.

“Casey, your girl almost took down an attorney today. Who by the way wasn’t very happy when you never returned.”

It was a perfect end to a not so perfect week.

#Matt Casey #matthew casey #matt casey imagine #matt casey smut #matt caseyxreader #mattcaseyxreader #matt casey x reader #chicago fire imagine #chicago fire x reader

472 notes · View notes

voluminous-violet · 1 year

Note

I'd like to see you write something about your preferred method of breast expansion to the biggest size you're interested in. Bonus points for the person's thoughts on the whole experience.

One surgical oxygen mask and tube, $15. One push nozzle $27. One full sized party Helium tank, $818. A really interesting night both purchases are going to create together? Priceless.

Samantha's heart was almost beating out of her chest as she twisted and turned the mask in fingers, not sure if she could really go through with this. This had been a huge fantasy of hers for a long time now but now that she was able to actually pull the trigger, everything suddenly became more real. Setting the mask down she reached over and slid her fingers over the knob on the tank, the cold brass apparatus attached the massive aluminum tank. Touching the metal sped up hear heart rate, and now her hand was trembling, was she really about to do this? As she reached over and picked up the mask again and brought it to her face and twisted the nozzle, she supposed it was better sooner rather than later.

Helium isn't cheap so she made sure that if was she going to do this, she'd do it right, that's why she had gotten push nozzle. When she turned the nozzle on the tank, she could see the pressure gauge spring up, showing that the flow was solid but nothing escaped. That's what the small lever on top was for, one slight nudge forward and the gas would flow into her mask and let her get a good huff. This is where her hands really started to shake, This was the final step to make this real and she was already about to back out, maybe this wasn't the best idea- click. Turns out these things are really sensitive and soon the tell tale hissing sound of gas flowing pierced her ears. Luckily her gasp was more than adequate to inhale the short puff and leave her coughing for a few seconds as she tried to catch her breath.

"FUCK! Gack... ugh that sucked... wait what."

She massaged her throat, having noticed the slight pitch difference in it now until she remembered what it was that she was doing again. Though now Samantha had another thing to wonder about, was the strange light feeling in her chest anxiety over what she was doing, or was it the gas? Well it hadn't killed her, and it didn't even feel bad when she did it by accident the first time, so this time as she settled the mask over her mouth and nose, she did so with much more confidence.

Tilting down the nozzle down again the hiss returned but this time she took slower, deeper breaths to make sure she inhaled as much of the gas as she could with each release not wanting to waste a thing. As she did so, everything began to feel so much... softer, so much lighter to her. It was as if her entire world was relaxing around her with her. Of course that was probably due to the massive swelling ballasts on her chest. It wouldn't take her long before her blissful huffing adventure was interrupted by the discovering why her midsection was suddenly getting so cold, as her basketball sized tits had turned her t-shirt into a midriff.

"GAH H-holy shit fuck that was fast..."

Again, the sound of her own voice made her jump, but this time it was funny to her, the fact she sounded like a cartoon chipmunk seemed to fit her ridiculous looking tits. Cupping a breast in each hand and feeling how light, yet firm they felt, she couldn't help but go for more.

"Maybe just a little bigger~"

So again, she pressed the soft plastic of the mask to her face and began to repeat the process. Click, hiss, huff, exhale. Over and over again, and with each repetition she could feel herself getting lighter and more carefree. Eventually the euphoric feeling would over take her and she'd become lost in her own little world, just huffing away until a jolt of intense shot through her chest. Gasping and taking an extra long inhale, she finally looked down and saw that her chest had reached yoga size, each breast had to be a good 75CM around. The hem of her shirt was now resting halfway across her nipples and teasing them, which explained why she had been snapped back to the moment so abruptly.

"Maybe... maybe now is a good stopping point."

Her voice had gotten even higher pitched, sounding like a comical high pitched squeak of a mouse rather than a human voice. As she placed the mask down and twisted the nozzle closed. She went to stand and immediately began to lean forward. Not fall or stumble, but tilt, as each step threatened to send her up into the air.

"Ooookay this might take a bit to get used to~"

#do not expect them all to be this long #I just really got into this one

31 notes · View notes

christowhore · 3 years

Text

Making You Mine

pairing: chris evans x professor!fem!reader, chris evans x oc!female (brief)

summary: you and chris have your first date.

word count: 3.0k

warnings: !!! 18+ minors dni !!! slight smut, fluff, age gap (reader is 28, chris is 39) suggestive conversation, two dorks in love, alcohol consumption, heavy making out, dry humping, orgasms, rpf

notes: ngl to y’all i didn’t even mean to make it include some smut, but i ended up getting carried away. this is the second part of the ‘Pining for Professor’ series. i hope you all enjoy it and make sure to let me know what you think! *i do not give consent for this fic to be reposted or translated*

join my taglist !

MAIN MASTERLIST • SERIES MASTERLIST

The next few days that passed after your encounter seemed to fly by. You were busy working on your dissertation while Chris was attending ASP interviews.The two of you would text from time to time, just keeping the other updated about your life.

Chris had planned the evening out. Before considering what meal he wanted to make you, he made sure to ask you about any dietary concerns or allergies that you might have, and he was thankful that he did. You informed him that the only food allergy you had was apples. Part of him thought you were joking because he never heard of that being a restriction one could face, but after sending him a photo of one of your allergic reactions, he trashed every single apple he had stored in his fridge. A dramatic reaction, yes, but he wanted to make sure you were both completely safe and comfortable.

He decided on making a simple pasta dinner, something easy that he believed he couldn’t possibly mess up. It wasn’t until he was googling wine pairings when he remembered the woman he was supposed to have this same evening with just a few days ago; Lindsey.

Chris had been so preoccupied with you that he completely forgot about the woman. Looking at his phone and opening their messages, he saw that he had been accidentally ghosting her for the past three days. Not knowing how to deliver the news, he decided it would be best to break things off over the phone than through a text.

Clicking on her contact, he dialed her number and listened to the dial tone ring in his ear. He was pondering on what to say when he heard her voice through the phone. “Hey stranger, I was wondering when you were gonna call me back.”

“Hey Lindsey, sorry I got a little busy with life. Can we talk?”

For about the next five minutes, Chris tried his best to not give the cliche ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ excuse, but in the end he had to explain to the woman how he met somebody else, you, and that he didn’t want to string her along any longer. The call ended with some harsh words from her which he expected. Even though he hated that he hurt her feelings, in the end all he kept thinking about was you.

A couple miles away from his home, you were at your house going through your entire wardrobe trying to find the perfect outfit to wear. Did you want to go the fancy route and wear a nice dress or something casual like jeans and a blouse? Even though Chris told you the plans he had scheduled for your rendezvous, you were still feeling nervous about the whole affair.

Thankfully with the help of your friends, they were able to ease your worries and help you out with your ensemble.

The night before the planned evening, the two of you lay awake, plagued with nerves. Worried about messing up and ruining the chance to be with the other.

With how his morning started the day of his previously planned affair, Chris made sure that nothing could stand in the way of tonight. He had his suit pressed, the ingredients needed for the meal prepped, and a bouquet of red roses bought fresh from the florist resting in a vase of water. Scott went with Dodger over to his sister Shanna’a house, leaving the home to himself.

The day proceeded quickly and soon enough it was time for the date. You agreed to drive over and meet him at his home, arriving there around eight in the evening.

Walking up to the home and knocking on the door, you kept cracking your knuckles, a nervous tick of yours whenever you got anxious. Once the entryway was opened and Chris stepped into your sight, all of those pesky jitters suddenly left your body.

Chris was clad in a tailored black suit that clung to his frame. The white button up he donned was crisp and clean, you could make out a few of his tattoos peeking through the material. Accessorizing his attire, he wore a black and silver watch, the silver in the band matching the Saint Christopher medallion clasped around his neck showing through the opening of his top. His hair was perfectly gelled, making him look fresh out of a photo shoot.

He looked absolutely delectable and part of you didn’t even care about the meal, you just wanted to know how the material of his clothes felt against your skin.

When Chris opened up his door he knew you’d be there, beautiful as ever but he didn’t expect the sight that he was met with.

Your regularly curly hair was straightened, cascading off your shoulders and perfectly framing your face. The makeup you applied made your features light up. He took notice of the lipgloss you put on and all he wanted to do was grab you and taste the substance that was lucky enough to touch your lips.

Looking your body up and down, he noticed your black silk dress, a tie in the middle cinching the material together. The material stopped at your mid thighs revealing your velvety smooth legs and high heeled shoes. Thoughts of him trailing his hands up the sides of your calves while he pinned you below him flashed in his mind. Quickly he shook the image out of his mind to put back all of his attention on you.

“You look absolutely breathtaking,” he whispered in awe.

“You’re not looking too bad yourself.”

As you entered his home, he placed a hand on the small of your back tugging your frame into him so he could place a kiss on your cheek. The same butterflies you experienced when he pecked you that night in the parking lot reappeared by the dozens.

The smell of sautéing onions and garlic filled your senses, instantly making your stomach lurch around. “Whatever it is you're making smells amazing,” you commented to the brunette.

He bashfully smiled, “Thank you, I’m almost finished, though I should let you know I’m not the greatest cook.”

You laughed at his comment, unconsciously placing your palm against his upper arm. “It’s alright Chris, at least you have your looks right?”

It was his turn to laugh, your playful matter had him buzzing.

The two of you made your way through the kitchen, him to the front of the stove while you sat in the high chair behind the counter top. Before he returned to cooking the vegetables, he grabbed the bouquet of red roses he had ordered and handed them to you, a smile instantly appearing on your face.

You thanked him for his generosity and the two of you continued on in lively conversation while he focused back on finishing dinner.

Laughter filled the room while you two chatted in his living room. You two had finished dinner, Chris making a wonderful shrimp scampi that even he was surprised tasted good.

Even though you spent three hours talking that evening in your office, you two didn’t have any difficulty finding new topics to explore.

You spoke about your family and how life was growing up without siblings. How it felt being at an advanced academic level at such a young age, which allowed you the opportunity of being employed at the university at 21. Surprisingly, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable around the man, something that you had never done before. It was something about his demeanor. His presence was inviting and captivating, and all you wanted to do was continue to be around the actor.

Chris was at a loss of words with how to describe how you made him feel. You had such a hypnotizing way to yourself. He would listen to your laugh and drink it in as if it were the last time his ears would be blessed with the sound. Your smile was so genuine, stretching from ear to ear and all he wanted to do was keep that look on your face till the end of his days. He didn’t know he was staring at you until you waved in front of his face, regaining his attention.

“Earth to Evans. Are you okay there?” Your eyebrows were slightly furrowed while you stared intently into his eyes, waiting for his response. He didn’t even think about the next words that came out of his mouth when he spoke.

“I know that we just met last week, and this is only our first date, but would you do me the honor of being able to call you my girlfriend?”

The statement that was rushed out of his mouth had you choke on your glass of wine. Regaining your composure, you set the drink down and looked up at Chris.

There wasn’t any humor in his eyes, just determination as well as a bit of trepidation.

You were about to speak when he started up again. “Usually when meeting someone, I go on about two to three dates with them. Get to know them and go through the ‘what if’s’ possibilities. But with you I realized I can’t wait that long. The only thing I care about is being able to see that smile on your face, and have the melodic sound of your laugh ingrained in my life. And I don’t want to waste another second trying to determine ‘what if’ we’re not a match when I already know that you’re the one for me.”

This time you were the one at a loss of words. Emotions wrangle throughout your body. You were nervous, but the nerves that stood on end were due to the fact of being scared of how quickly you were falling for him.

Without saying anything but donning a beaming grin, you nodded.

Chris immediately leant forward and molded his lips with yours. The kiss was soft and delicate. His right hand slightly cupped your cheek, and in that moment you felt safe, you felt at ease. There was no other place the two of you wanted to be than right there in each other’s embrace.

When you pulled away it felt like time was at a standstill, nothing else mattered but the two of you being together. Even though he wasn’t a photographic person, Chris felt this overwhelming need to document this moment.

He quickly pulled out his phone and asked you if it were okay to take a photo of the two of you, a personal keepsake so to speak. You nuzzled into his side, shoulders touching, breaths fanning across each other’s face. Chris extended his hand with the camera app open and aimed towards the two of you. Though you were looking at the screen, a beaming grin stretched across your features, he was only looking at you. Admiring you as if you were his entire world, which you were slowly but surely becoming. Snapping the photo, he locked his phone and tucked it away back into his slacks.

With the close proximity you two shared, he took advantage of the opportunity to kiss you again. He was desperate to feel you, touch you, taste you. The flavor of your strawberry lip gloss inviting him in.

You melted into him, hands gripping the lapels of his jacket pulling him closer into you. He leaned into your touch, causing the two of you to lay back against his couch.

His hips were slotted in between your legs, crotch rubbing against your warm core. The friction drawing out a low moan from your chest.

He continued to feverishly attack your mouth. This kiss was different from the first. This was pure hunger. You two were desperate to feel the other. His tongue slotted into your mouth, tasting the leftover remnants of the Pinot Grigio you consumed. Notes of grapes and honeysuckles on your tongue made him push deeper. The intoxicating taste and the effects of the alcohol had him unconsciously grinding into you, rubbing his cock against your covered mound.

You ran your hands across the expanse of his body. Rubbing his arms, slightly gripping his ass, tangling your hands into the brown tuffs of his hair, you couldn’t get enough. He felt amazing against you. The rubbing of his hips were drawing out moans that you didn’t even try to suppress due to the unwavering desire you felt towards him. You felt him lift your leg up, giving himself more room to rut against you. The movement caused your dress to hike up, showing the lace of your black thong to your now boyfriend.

The two of you continued with your actions. Tongue slapping against each other as you sloppily tasted the other. The movements of his hips against your cunt accelerated to a rigorous pace when he felt a wet patch growing on your panties.

You felt like honey teenagers, dry humping each other like a pair of desperate virgins, but in that moment it was perfect.

Drawing away from each other, Chris nestled his face in the crook of your neck, his warm breath sending shockwaves of arousal straight to your core.

You were both close to reaching your respective peak, your moans were getting wilder and his hips were becoming unruly.

It only took a few more bumps of his crotch against your covered clit for you to gush in your panties. An erotic moan left your lips and filled the room while your back arched, pushing your breasts against his chest.

Hearing the near pornographic sound that left your body, while feeling your peer nipples press against his front allowed him to reach his release as well. Biting down against the column of your neck, he came in his pants, filling his boxer briefs with his seed.

Chris collapsed on top of your panting body, the two of you trying to regain a steady breath. He lay there in your arms, your nails dragging along the nape of his neck.

When he finally regained composure, Chris raised up on his palms and looked down at you. And as if your minds were synced up, you both erupted in a fit of giggles.

After coming down for your laugh attacks, you excused yourself to the bathroom to freshen up.

You stood in front of the mirror, examining your reflection. There was still some adrenaline flowing through your bloodstream causing your hands to slightly shake. Your lips were red and swollen due to the attack on them moments prior. But what you couldn’t ignore was the dopey smile that seemed to take permanent residence on your face. You felt like a giddy schoolgirl, though you weren’t complaining.

Your recently ended relationship with your ex Justin was not great. The reason for the break up was due to the fact that he didn’t make you feel special. Looking back at it now you don’t even know why you agreed to start dating him in the first place. But you were thankful it concluded, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, with a man who looked at you like you hung the moon and placed every star in the sky yourself.

Back in the living room, Chris paced around the living room for your return. Happiness surged through him, making him pump his fist in the air like he was John Bender in The Breakfast Club.

He's been with plenty of women throughout his life, even getting engaged to one, but it was in this moment he realized he had never been so infatuated with someone until you entered his life. You made all of the hairs on his body stand up just by looking at him. It elated him but also scared him. It scared him due to how fast he was falling for you. But he didn’t care. Though this feeling was foreign, he had no problem welcoming it with open arms.

After a few moments consisting of composing yourself, you made your way out of the bathroom and back to Chris. You two stood there, just smiling at each other like idiots. It was him who finally piped up.

“So that was some first date.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his comment.

“Tell me about it,” you replied.

The two of you conversed some more before it got late and you decided to call it a night. Making sure you had all of your belongings, including your roses, he escorted you to your car.

Resting against the door, you couldn’t resist temptation so you pulled him into you, attaching your lips to his once more. This kiss wasn’t the apprehensive one you first shared, or the hungry and desperate one that came after. This kiss was full of passion. It was the type that made you breathe out a sigh of relief into the other's mouth, glad that your bodies were in union in such an intimate manner. Neither of you wanting it to end.

When you finally pulled apart, Chris rested his forehead against your own, trying to savor the moment a while longer.

“I’ll call you when I get home, alright?”

Repeating the actions yet again of your first meeting, he went to open your door, waiting for you to slide in before shutting in. After turning on the engine, you rolled the window down allowing Chris to rest against the frame on his forearms.

“See you later, girlfriend.”

“Right back at you, boyfriend.”

Giving you a fleeting kiss goodbye, he stood up and watched as you pulled out of his driveway and back to your home.

Chris stood there in his driveway for a while. He thought about how the date went twenty times better than any other one he’d ever been on. How you made him feel like the greatest man in the world. The way your lips met his and how it was like they were made to be caressed by his. The smile that crept on your face when he called you his girlfriend. And he thought about how now nothing else in this world mattered except for keeping you in his life and making sure that wonderful smile never left your features.

A/N: so the song True by Spandau Ballet is the song i envisioned when Chris opened the door. it’s that one slow 80s song they play in movies where it’s goes like ‘ah ah ah ahhh ahh’ it's all romantic and what not, y’all know the song i’m talking about, that one. cheesy i know, but i works.

anyway baby, i know there’s not a lot of dialogue, i’ve come to the realization that it’s one of my weakness but i’ll be working on it.

<< PREVIOUS CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER >>

if you enjoyed this, please make sure to reblog and comment, feedback is much appreciated!

* dividers credit: @firefly-graphics *

#chris evans #chris evans series #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans one shot #chris evans fluff #chris evans x fem!reader #chris evans rpf #chris evans x reader #chris evans angst #pining for professor

675 notes · View notes

jeojahari · 3 years

Text

03 | kiss it better | myg

🠒 summary: you're one of the lucky ones, everyone else tells you. finding your soulmate the day you turn 18 isn't something that happens to a lot of people... but you and your other half are going to have to make a lot of progress to be able to tolerate each other.

or, you and yoongi can feel everything the other feels, and you're hell bent on causing each other pain.

🠒 pairing: yoongi x reader

🠒 genre: angst, fluff, e2l!au, soulmates!au, college au, crack?

🠒 warnings: profanity, implied smut

🠒 word count: 1.9K

🠒 notes: Y'ALL i can't with you guys thank you so much oh my gosh 🥺❤️❤️ thank you so much for sticking with this! *is very honored and touched* hope you enjoy this chapter :D

also! from here on out i'm going to start putting in parts from yoongi's pov too so y'all can get an idea of what's going on in his head c:

also, just a little shout out to an anon whom i got a very comforting, uplifting message from... thank you so much anon! this part is going to be last-minute dedicated to you ❤️❤️

part 03: three roses

series m. list

Yoongi’s only met you two days ago, and yet he can’t get you off his mind.

“It’s probably just a soulmate thing,” his roommate tells him, typing away at his laptop — the paper is due in half an hour, and he is rushing to get it done. Procrastination has time and again proven to be a horrible habit, but he never does let go of it.. “Regardless of how you feel about her, the universe decides who you’re stuck with.”

“It’s not like that, Jin,” Yoongi groans. “I’m not saying I don’t ever want to be with her. I’m saying it wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot, if she would just let it happen.”

Jin spins around on his chair, giving his friend a curious look. “What did you even say the first time you met her that made her hate you this much?”

“I, um.” Yoongi shifts around, suddenly aware of how cold he must have seemed to you that day, way before you turned eighteen and knew what the future was to hold. “Told her not to waste oxygen. And left.”

“Wow. So in a nutshell, you fucked up.”

“I did.”

“And she hates you for being an antisocial grump.”

“I’m not! But yes, she does.”

Jin proceeds to take another sip from his mug of (now cold) tea, deep in thought. “You gonna tell me who the mystery girl is?”

“Park Y/N,” Yoongi winces as he says your name, not liking the way it easily rolls off his tongue, or the kaleidoscope of butterflies it sets off in his stomach — or the way his heart seems to skip a beat at the thought of you. He doesn’t want it to, but what can he do? “You know, the one who rooms with Park Jimin from the arts department. They’re not related, though.”

“The Y/N who has an impossibly obvious crush on Jimin’s cousin? Taehyung, right?”

Yoongi chuckles, staring at the blank white wall. “I’m pretty sure there’s only one Y/N in this entire school, but yes. That’s her.”

“So you two don’t get along and she has a thing for another guy. Man, the universe really fucked up, didn’t it?”

“And you’re not helping right now,” Yoongi scoffs, scribbling down another abstract equation on his paper. “The goal is not to make her fall in love with me, dumbass.”

“But that’s precisely what the goal is! She falls in love with you, you date, get married, have kids, you know the deal. Happily ever after.”

“I think you’re forgetting the part about me not liking her at all.”

“That can change, can’t it?” Jin swivels around in his chair, eyes wide and hopeful. “What’s stopping you from falling head over heels for her a week or so from now? You two are already bound; it can’t be that hard.”

Yoongi presses his pen to the paper again, but a sharp stinging sensation makes him flinch backwards, curling his index finger inward. “Stupid,” he mutters, wincing. “Y/N seriously has a thing for giving herself paper cuts on the daily.”

“See?” Jin grins widely, feeling very accomplished for no reason at all. “You’re already worried about her well-being!”

“The only reason I even care is because I feel it too!” Seconds later, another twinge of pain comes, this time shooting through his head. “Ow,” he groans, frustrated. “Really? Are we seriously going back to this now? What’s she doing this time, banging her head on the wall to get on my nerves?”

Jin drains the rest of tea in one gulp, side-eyeing the shorter male from his spot at the desk. “Figure it out, my guy,” he says under his breath. Whether he likes it or not, he’s concerned about his friend — though he knows that if he brings it up, Yoongi’s only going to chide him for being so worried. “Second chances don’t come often. Don’t screw this one up.”

The study group meets again (is this a daily thing now?), and much to Yoongi’s surprise, you’re there without fail, squeezed in between Jimin and another guy he doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. As Taehyung grabs his hand and yanks him down onto the bench, he notices the slightly pissed off glare you send him, too tired to return one of his own.

No one speaks, and it’s strange. It’s awfully awkward; usually Taehyung and Jungkook would be arguing over something stupid, and there would be yelling… but now, there is only complete silence, save for the rustling of pages and the occasional cough from Namjoon.

“Hey,” Jungkook whispers from his left after a few minutes, nudging his elbow as a greeting. “How come you’re not sitting with Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“Aren’t you two supposed to be together?” Ah, right. Once again, Yoongi curses fate’s horrible decision making skills, sending another why me? plea to the heavens.

“It’s fine,” he brushes it off instead, sorting through his books. He’s trying not to look like it affects him, but he’s always been rather terrible at hiding his frustration. “She has Jimin and that other dude anyways.”

Jungkook doesn’t look convinced. In fact, he sees right through the half-hearted lie. “You want to sit next to her,” he deduces quickly. “But you’re not. You two fought or something?”

“What would you know,” Yoongi mutters, irritated. “Of all people.”

Jungkook frowns slightly, but the merry twinkle doesn’t leave his eyes, the trademark of a person who’s just happy to live life. “What do you mean? I’m very experienced in these things, I’ll have you know.”

“Right, because fucking a different girl each night is your way of showing off your expertise.”

“Yoongi, I’m trying to help you. You two aren’t the best at covering up; we know you hate each other’s guts,” he sighs. “You need to talk to her, patch it up, do something—”

“Shut up,” Yoongi snaps sharply, thoughts distorted. His cantankerous mood is rising now, only worsening with every word he hears. “Shut up, Jungkook. You don’t fucking know anything.” His voice is loud enough to catch the attention of everyone else at the table, and he’s well aware of your worried eyes on him. “Stop trying to educate me on this bullshit called romance when all you fucking do is sleep around!”

The weight of his words hit Jungkook hard, and it’s written all over his face, shock and something like sorrow in his expression. Yoongi regrets it as soon as he says it, immediately wishing he could take it all back — but he doesn’t, because the anger, the pain, the empty, hollow feeling of having his soulmate near but unable to love her… it’s eating away at him.

Then he hears your voice, soft and gentle in contrast to his own, and it almost grounds him, calms the storm inside his head. Almost, except for the fact that your words are just as harsh, stinging him far more than expected. “You’re such an asshole,” you say, giving him nothing but a stare he can’t comprehend.

“Y/N—”

“Jungkook can do what he wants; he’s an adult and he’s not harming anyone. His actions do not justify yours,” you spit, the resent clear in the way you speak to him.

Have you always hated him so much?

“And neither of us have been particularly great about this, but you had no right to say that to him,” you continue, glowering. The rest of the table just sits there as you talk, still processing what just happened. “You fucking jerk.”

There’s a lot Yoongi wants to say to you. Explain. Redeem himself. Apologize, maybe, if you’ll let him — but he knows you won’t. It’s one of the things he’s picked up on in two days; you won’t listen to reason when you’re pissed off, and right now you’re certainly in no position to hear him out.

“Okay,” he mutters instead, rising from his seat and earning a worried look from Taehyung. He gives you one last look before he forces himself to look away, your heated gaze burning into him. “I’ll leave first, then.”

Jungkook left almost immediately after, and the rest of the group quickly followed suit. Now, you’re cozied up on the couch with a cup of green tea while Jimin works on what he couldn’t finish earlier, sitting beside you.

“Well,” he breaks the silence. “At least now you know that he’s somewhat invested in whatever’s between you two, if Jungkook was trying to give him advice.”

“That’s just Jungkook being invested,” you grumble. “Not Yoongi. The guy doesn’t even look like he cares.”

“Do you?”

The question makes you stop and think. Do you? Do you care enough to try? Growing up, you’d so strongly believed that love was only ever a temporary thing; it never stayed long enough to blossom into something beautiful the way it was portrayed in the media. You had always been surrounded by the dark side of this seemingly magical emotion, listening to your mother’s crying late at night when she thought you were asleep, to the point where you’d sworn it off.

But something in you wants to question it. You want to shatter that ominous what if, throw off the shadows of your own childhood and grow into something more, be able to experience the magic firsthand.

And really, Yoongi’s a fucking asshole and you’re still mad at him. But one day… maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. Give him a try, a chance.

Still, it’s a “no” that you answer Jimin with, lying through your teeth. He doesn’t say anything, just humming a single note in response, his right hand doodling something mindlessly on your skin with one of his black ink pens. When he pulls away a minute later, there are three dainty roses resting in the valley between your thumb and index finger, clustered together in a bunch.

You hate roses. They do nothing but remind you of the one thing that hurt you the most.

“You know,” he says after a while, “I think you’re being a bit childish about this whole thing. Y/N, you two are acting like you’re in some kind of high school drama. You say you don’t like him, but for what? His coffee addiction and his personality?”

“You’re just making it sound worse than it really is…”

“No,” he presses, turning to face you directly. “I’m serious. You’re my best friend and I want to see you happy. Not you screwing this all up. People have differences, it’s normal.”

“It’s not about that—”

Jimin takes your hand, tapping it twice and then rapping his knuckles against the side of your head. “Y/N, you wonderful idiot. You don’t hate him. You’re just desperately searching for reasons to hate him.” His eyes soften. “I know you don’t like this because of how your parents ended up, but not everyone's the same. You don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

“I—” You stop for a second, a bit on edge. “I don’t like this, Jimin,” you say truthfully. You’ve always known it was bound to happen someday, but… the way your heart races around Yoongi and aches when he’s away both bothers and excites you, afraid at the prospect of more but still tempted to see what the future holds. And you can’t decide on either one.

“There you go. What were you waiting for?” he laughs, bringing you in for a comforting hug. “Now you’ve just got to do something about it.”

taglist: @meiadore @kimnamjoonluvbot @im-gay-no-matter-who-i-date @fangirl125reader @helenazbmrskai @min-yus @janeelizabeth1216 @chimchiekookie @chimchoom @igotnotype @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @loveyoongles @ggukkieland @music-is-my-middle-name @secretlycrazyhummingbird @halesandy @moonchild1

taglist is still open! send an ask if you'd like me to add you <3

prev | next | series m. list | main m. list

#yoongi #yoongi soulmate au #yoongi enemies to lovers #yoongi college au #bts #bts fanfiction #bts college au #bts soulmate au #bts enemies to lovers #fluff #angst #crack?? idk #yoongi series #mine #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #part 3

186 notes · View notes

hot-wiings · 3 years

Text

The One Where Despite The Sports Festival, Shouto Todoroki Hates Using His Quirk, But [Y/N] [L/N] Enjoys It.

Edited: 12-2-2020

"It's so fucking cold."

The words came out rushed and loud as you clattered your teeth together. Your arms rubbed up and down over your thin school jacket as you cursed at your teacher in your head. You were supposed to be indoors, doing this school activity inside of the warm enclosed walls of Gym Gamma, instead, Shouta had your class outside, working on the P.E grounds due to miscommunication and overlapping training schedules with class B.

"C'mere, you're warm, I'm cold, hug me."

You buried yourself into the warmer side of your boyfriend, Shouto Todoroki. He had his own personal built-in heating pad, it wasn't fair to let him keep it all to himself. After all, sharing is caring. A light blush spread across his face as he slung his left arm around your back and let his left hand rest on your arm. He pulled you against him, helping you create heat as he debated giving you his own jacket to put on.

"Mm. That's great."

Shouto let out a small smile and he moved his warm, left hand up and down your arm as you both watched Mina spar with Mineta. His hand came up and rolled over your shoulder and made soft contact with your ear and cheek.

"Talking about me or the fight?"

"Well I was talking about you, but I can't say I don't find pleasure in seeing Mineta get beat."

"I know he can be a jerk, but isn't she going a little extreme. I'm surprised he isn't unconscious."

You let out a small chuckle as Mina destroyed his balls with her acid and delivered yet another punch to his face. You had to admit, she was going a bit hardcore on him, and you were sure Mr. Aizawa could see that, but no one stopped her. You were sure she was going so extreme with him due to the stunt he tried pulling the week before, your blood boiled and you clenched your fists just thinking about it. You hadn't told Shouto about said stunt, choosing to keep it a secret between you and Mina.

"He deserves it! He's commenting on our bodies is one thing, but he crossed a line last week."

"What did he do now?"

Shouto knew the boy's schemes were horrendous, and he tried his best to put the pervert back in line when you asked him to or complained about it. It was his job as a boyfriend to make you feel secure, and he took pride in it. He wanted to be the opposite of his father, a significant other you could run to for help, and making you feel safe and protected from the antics of your lesser classmate was how he did that, but you and neglected to tell your boyfriend about how bad the boy was getting.

Shouto placed a chase kiss onto the top of your head as he ran his hand up and down, his fingers leaving warm soothing circles on your shoulder. You pulled your lip between your teeth, realizing you slipped up and mentioned it. You hadn't told your boyfriend about the stunt Mineta pulled because you were both embarrassed it even happened, and ashamed you couldn't defend yourself. Besides that fact, Shouto could get jealous and possessive. Whenever you mention Mineta was bothering you Shouto didn't give you a chance to ask for help, he just seemed to take care of it. Jealousy and possession was a natural human feeling, but you didn't want him trying to murder the boy for his severe actions.

"Uh, well, I mean it's not worth sharing that much. Just the usual nasty things he does."

"What did he do?"

Shouto ran his fingers over your rosy, cold cheeks. Trying to entice you to answer him by distracting you with warmth. It worked.

"He snuck into the girl's dorms to spy on us after hours! To make things worse, he tried watching me change. When I saw him, he used his damned balls to make me sticky. Stuck in my bra and panties, completely helpless and unable to move. You have no idea how humiliated and disgusting I felt!"

"I would've made him apologize. Why didn't you tell me?"

Shoutos grip on your arm loosened but you could still feel the heat just radiating off of his body. He was upset that you didn't tell him, you knew that, but for all the wrong reasons. What you assumed was jealousy, in reality, was fear. The thought that you didn't need or want him to defend you. He took joy in it, he took joy in protecting you. What he so proudly took pride in, was swept away by Mina.

Mina had finally knocked Mineta out and walked past you and Shouto with a shit-eating grin on her face. She shot a thumbs-up signal in your direction as she went to the infirmary to retrieve Recovery Girl for Mineta. Nonverbal communication that she had avenged your dignity, but to Shouto it was just a slap in his face. Why hadn't you immediately told him? He would've knocked Mineta down a peg or two. He would've humbled him down and made him apologize. He should have been the one to redeem your dignity and redeem your image. He should've been the one defending your honor, but you hadn't even told him about it.

Did you not trust him? Was he not good at making you feel secure?

"Todoroki vs. Bakugo."

The anger and frustration was already taking over Shouto as he broke away from you and walked toward the center of the training grounds to meet Katsuki. The feral boy wasted no time in blasting Shouto, trying to anger him resulting in him using his flames unlike he had in the sports festival.

"Die!"

Shouto rebutted Katsuki's blast by hitting him with ice. Aggravated and aggressive, Katsuki sent boom after boom, blast after blast while he growled out phrases to work Shouto up and bring out his flames.

"Won't use your flames? Pathetic. I honestly wonder why [Y/N] is with you, my explosions always got her going."

"Leave her name out of your mouth."

Emotions consumed him once your name left Katsuki lips. He was angry that you didn't trust him enough to tell him about how his classmate tried to defile your image. Sad that you hadn't gone to him for comfort and redemption but Mina instead. All his emotions were thrust into his quirk as he sent Katsuki one hard blast of his flames. Blow after blow, eventually, Katsuki went down. He gripped his arm which now held a severe burn from a Shouto as he screamed out fuck you's.

As he cooled down, ex or not, Shouto couldn't help but regret his actions towards Katsuki. He saw the burns he left Katsuki with. He saw Katsuki gripping his arm as Recover Girl made her way over to him. He could see Katsuki resist help, trying to say it wasn't as bad as it was. He looked over at you, as you stared at him while you bit your lip, guilt flooded his entire being.

What if that had been you? What if he had lost his temper with you? If he was capable of snapping at Katsuki so quickly, what was he capable of with you?

Shouto made his way over to you and with quick hands, you grabbed onto him. You inspected him for injuries, worried he had been hurt too. Shouto hadn't been the only one to get blows in, but his injuries weren't physical. As your worried eyes met his, he felt disgusted with himself. He didn't understand how you were able to cling to such a monster like him. Katsuki's burns flashed in his head as Shouto pulled away from your grasp and ripped his jacket from his back.

He could hurt you. He was capable of hurting you.

"I'm fine. Here, take my jacket so you can be warmer."

"Oh, won't you need it? Quirks are just physical extensions of your body, I don't want you overexerting yourself."

"Don't worry about me. I'm going back to the dorms since my fights over."

His voice came out rushed, his tone cold, harsh and you frowned. Before he even heard your reply, Shouto turned on his heel and walked off to class 1-A's dorm rooms. He hadn't meant to be so cold with you. He didn't want to be harsh with you. Anyone, but you. He didn't want to, but he couldn't stand to be there with you. He couldn't stand there and let you take advantage of his quirk. He couldn't stand there and heat you knowing how he could hurt you. After what he did to Katsuki, you should have been disgusted with him.

He was a monster, he wasn't worthy of you.

"Who's next on the list?"

The snow fell around you, wetting your hair and getting your clothes damp as you pulled your hands out of your pockets and opened your phone with stiff cold fingers to look at the Christmas list you both together made weeks prior. Shouto wanted to reach across the small gap between you. He wanted to reach over and push your hair behind your ear. He wanted to reach out and pull your frozen hand into his warm one, but he wouldn't. He couldn't, he was already pushing the limit by being here as it was.

He was distancing himself, pulling away, and hoping you would receive the subtle hints he was dropping your way. The hints that he wanted to break up, to no longer see you, to no longer be yours. It wasn't that this is what he wanted, it's what he felt needed to be done. Shouto didn't want to hurt you by breaking up. He didn't want to be away from you. To him, you were his whole world, one of his motivations to become a hero. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much safer you'd be off without him. How much safer, how much better you'd be without a monster like him.

He hoped the list was almost over with, he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle another minute with you. He knew he couldn't handle breaking your heart himself, so ingeniously he found a solution: Be detached until you break up with him instead. He was supposed to distance himself, but all he wanted to do was pull you in his arms. He knew he should've stayed at the dorms, stayed in the confines of his dorm room, neglecting you under the pretense of studying. However, when you came to him asking if he still wanted to go Christmas shopping together like you both originally planned to, he couldn't say no. The way you looked at him, a broken hopeful expression that he would say yes. Hopeful that he'd want to spend time with you despite him pushing you away. It broke his stoic reserve.

"We still need a guitar for Kyouka, a bag for Ochako, and something for Momo, she's kinda hard to shop for because she already has everything, but I saw her eyeing a necklace last month. I bet we could even find Ochako a bag in the same store."

He was practically ecstatic to hear you only had three more people to shop for, two of which could be hit in the same store. The quicker this was over the better. You placed your phone back in your pocket and reached out for Shouto's hand. The gap was closed between you both as you tugged him along the sidewalk with you towards the store you needed. Shouto smiled. He briefly smiled and relished in the feeling of your hand in his, but it was short-lived as he pulled his hand out of yours and stuffed it in his pocket.

He knew there must have been a hurt expression on your face, but he had to take a moment to remind himself. He had to remind himself why he was distancing himself from you. It was for you. You didn't deserve to be with a monster like him. You didn't deserve it, all you needed was a push in the right direction.

As you walked beside Shouto into the Lois Vuitton outlet store your heart felt heavy but you tried your best to push through the pain. You couldn't pretend that there wasn't anything wrong with your relationship. You couldn't pretend that your boyfriend hadn't been distant, hadn't been cold and closed off. He used to be so sweet, sweet, and present. He would walk you to your dorm after class, take you for walks, hold your hand, and more often than not, take you out on impromptu dates. He didn't do that anymore. He was cold and absent. He rarely talked to you and he put little to no effort into being with you. Even when you tried putting all the effort, you could see him pulling away. As he pulled away more and more, you had to wonder if he even wanted to be around you.

You had a whirlwind of thoughts on why he was being so distant, why he no longer wanted you. You just wanted all the worries and thoughts to go away. You wanted the negative reasons you'd come up with every night as you laid in bed to be gone. You wanted things to go back to normal because, despite all of this, you were holding out hope that things would go back to normal. Hope that perhaps he would begin to come around again.

You walked through Louis Vuitton with Shouto hot on your trail as you went to the jewelry display. Shouto quickly grasped the right necklace in his hands, the expensive a thousand dollar golden lipstick holder necklace. He turned to you with a determined smile.

"This is the one right?"

Suddenly, that dark cloud of thoughts came out again. The one that rained on you when you were at your most hopeful. The one that said he didn't love you, but most likely fell for another. The one that gave you the most probable answer.

"How'd you know that was the one she wanted?"

"I was with you both when you saw it."

It was a logistic explanation, but the simple sentence placed the seed of doubt into your head. Doubt that slowly diminished your hope. Despite the awfully, distrustful feeling it left you with, you chose to give Shouto the benefit of the doubt as you made your way over the bag selection.

"So, everyone's making plans for Christmas, and I was wondering if we were going to spend it together."

"I haven't really thought about my Christmas plans yet."

"We don't have to if you don't want to, figured I'd ask."

You kept your face away from Shouto and buried in the bag rack. You didn't want him to see the expression on your face. You didn't want him to see the remnants of all the hope you had left in this relationship. There was a right answer, the right answer you hoped he'd say, but that seed of doubt knew he wasn't going to say it.

"I was gonna go home for Christmas. Figured we both could use time with our families."

A single stray tear made its way down your cheek as his sentences tumbled out. All the hope you had left in your body crumpled as his words resounded in your ears. You hadn't spent a Christmas apart since the start of your three-year relationship. He knew you didn't have the best family. He knew you hated your father just as much as he hated his father. You both made it your tradition to be together for the holidays. You asking about it wasn't supposed to be a question, but reassurance he wasn't going to leave you alone. It was reassuring you he still cared, but all it did was water the seed.

"You want to go home for Christmas? I thought you hated being home over the holidays."

"Some things change, [Y/N]. You don't have a problem with it, do you?"

Of course you did. He was abandoning you. He was leaving you over Christmas for his bastard father he hated. The seed of doubt was beginning to blossom and you were looking for ways to uproot it. You had one vice left to try. His jealousy. If he so much as still loved or even liked you as a girlfriend, then just bringing up you and another boy alone would bring out the beast. No matter how innocent it would be, whether it be walking in the halls, or studying, Shouto could get possessive of you, and while you hated the idea of playing into his emotions like this, it was necessary.

"Of course not! Denki invited me to go on a trip over holiday break anyway. The guy he interns for owns a mansion up north, perfect for skiing. You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

"No, I hope you have fun."

You scanned Shouto's face for any indication that you going up north with Denki alone bothered him, but stoic as ever he was unbothered. A last resort really, but you pulled out a card you never wanted to.

"You're sure? Katsuki is going to be there, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable by hanging out with my ex for a week and a half."

"[Y/N], I don't care. Go ahead, you know not to do something you'd regret."

If Shouto really cared for you he would have said yes. He would've said he had a problem with his girlfriend going on a trip with her ex-boyfriend. You thrust the bag into Shouto's arms and avoided his eyes, scared you would let the tears flow out in front of him.

"Um, can you go pay? I need to use the bathroom."

Shouto tried not to look over at you on the couch. He wanted to scoot closer to you, he wanted to pull your body against his. He wanted to see the little face you made when his warmth took over your freezing skin, he wanted you to fall asleep on him. He wanted to be close to you again, he wanted things to go back to how they used to be. They couldn't go back, it wasn't that simple. He could never revert back into your loving boyfriend, he couldn't allow himself to be yours.

As the weeks from that day in the outlet mall progressed, Shouto could feel his resolve diminish. Despite the distance you still tried to connect and be around him, he was still your boyfriend no matter how cold of a front he put up. It hurt to have you trying to cling to him but he kept pushing you away. It hurt to have you offer date opportunities only for him to turn them down. What hurt Shouto the most was letting you go on that trip with Katsuki. He wanted to tell you not to go on that trip, he wanted to tell you to stay at the dorms with him. With every passing day you talked with Katsuki more and more, it pained Shouto to act like he was fine and chill with it.

Shouto didn't know this was a ploy to make him jealous to try and incite any lingering feelings for you. He didn't know that you weren't even planning to go on the trip with Katsuki but actually planned to stay at the dorms once he left for his own family home for the holidays. You chatted up katsuki more often and even went as far as to ask Shouto for advice on a bathing suit to both bring forth feelings from him and make your lie more convincing. It wasn't as though Shouto wasn't jealous, it wasn't as though he stopped caring for you and who you hung out with. The idea of you in a bikini with Katsuki grated him. The two of you in a hot tub, escaping the dreaded cold rubbed him the wrong way, but he needed to let it happen, he needed to push you away into the arms of someone more worthy, into the arms of another.

"When are you leaving for your trip?"

Shouto hadn't even turned to look at you as he spoke out the question. He hadn't looked and maybe had he, he would've seen how broken you looked, he would've seen your disheveled appearance and his resolve would've broken for sure. With your legs pulled up on the couch and your head resting on your knees, a frown on your face as you stole sneaky little glances at your boyfriend when he wasn't looking. He never looked at you anymore, just another indication of where your relationship was headed.

"Katsuki and I are meeting at the airport in a couple of hours, he said the ticket was paid for by his internship boss, but I think he's really paying for it."

Shouto didn't look at you, and it hurt. What guy didn't get upset, or weird at the very least, at the idea of his girlfriend going on a trip with her ex-boyfriend? Beyond that, the proposed idea that his girlfriend is getting a plane ticket paid for by said ex-boyfriend should upset him. You snagged your lip between your teeth as your grip on your legs tightened.

"When are you going home?"

"Tonight."

You nodded your head and made a mental note to leave until he left to make it seem you went on the trip. You didn't want him knowing that you planned to stay in the dorms alone over Christmas, but those were his exact plans. He hadn't spent a Christmas apart from you since the beginning of this relationship, and he just wanted to wallow in self-pity over having pushed you away successfully.

"Do you want to exchange gifts before we leave?"

"I didn't think we were getting each other gifts since we're not seeing each other on Christmas."

You let out a sigh as you tried to keep the tears down. You were so hopeful, you were holding out for him but you couldn't anymore. You got him a gift, hoping that Christmas would bring out the best in him and make him open up. You thought that the day would roll around and everything would be fixed by the magic of Christmas. He hadn't even gotten you a gift, yet he knew what neckless Momo wanted. You couldn't do it anymore, you couldn't pretend things would get better. You couldn't pretend he still loved you.

"What did I do wrong? I'm sorry, I can fix it. I'm sorry, I'll fix it."

The tears began leaking out and running down your cheeks in warm streaks. You tried to keep your little sniffles quiet by pressing your hand over your mouth and nose. You didn't want him to see you cry, you didn't want him to hear your tears, but he did. Shouto looked over at you with knitted eyebrows before looking back at the fireplace. He wanted to comfort you, he wanted to hold you and reassure you that it was okay, but he needed to push you away.

"I'm drowning, I'm drowning Shouto. I don't understand what I did to make us like this. Am I too clingy, do I suffocate you? I'll give you space, I can give you more space!"

Shouto clenched his fists as your words tumbled out in frantic sentences but he stayed silent. He did so well, he's done so well at pushing you away. He had to keep his resolve up, he had to push away. You didn't deserve him, you didn't deserve to be with such a monster.

"When Katsuki broke up with me he said it was cause' I'm weak. Is that it, am I too weak for you? I'll train harder. I'll be a hero you can be proud of."

Shouto kept his face away from yours, silently and still staring at the fire. He knew if he looked at you then he would break. If he looked at you he would crawl into your arms and whisper reassuring words on how Katsuki is an ass, reassuring words on how strong you were. He wanted to tell you that you always made him proud, but he didn't let himself. The more he continued being silent, the more it hurt you. More tears flowed from your eyes as you spoke out the sentence you so solemnly tried to quell. The thought you so desperately had been trying to put out like a wild fire.

"Deep down I know the truth, you want her, don't you? Momo? God, how stupid I must look, my boyfriend and my best friend right under my nose."

You pressed your hand to your mouth to muffle a strangled sob as you wiped away your tears with the back of your hand, futile as more quickly replaced them. Shouto looked over at you, a few tears dripping down from his own eyes. That's what you thought? That he was cheating? Shouto wasn't sure if he should feel insulted for you thinking so low of him, but then again, had the roles been reversed with you pushing him away, he would think the same.

"I... I just want you to know I don't blame you Shouto. She can suit your needs so well. She's smarter, rich, and god, she's so much prettier. I- I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you, I'm sorry I couldn't satisfy you. I'm sorry I wasted your ti"-

"Don't say that, don't, just don't. Don't compare yourself to her. I don't want Momo, I haven't wanted anyone except for you."

"Then why don't you want me? You don't touch me anymore, you don't even look at me. I don't understand what I did."

"You didn't do anything! You did nothing, it's me! I'm the problem, I'm the issue."

Shouto stood up abruptly, pacing back and forth he ran his hand through his hair roughly. He should've kept his resolve, he should've stayed solid, but hearing the quiver in your voice, hearing your thoughts, your deeply negative thoughts broke him so.

"You are so perfect, [Y/N]. I love when you cling to me, you're so strong, you're beautiful and perfect, and fuck! The only reason I remembered Momo's necklace was because it was right next to the earrings I bought for you."

You stood up and wrapped your arms around Shouto. You buried your face in his chest as he let his tears fall. He should push you away, he should make distance from you, but he couldn't. He couldn't, instead, he wrapped his arms around you and let out his own sob into your hair as he held you close for the first time in days.

"I'm such a monster [Y/N]. I'm such a monster, I'm just like my dad. You saw how I burned Katsuki. You shouldn't be with me, I might hurt you."

You pulled out of Shouto's arms to cup his face. There was a frown on your face, leaving him with an unsettling feeling in his gut that you agreed. It was quite the opposite.

"Shouto, you would never hurt me. I don't know where you got that idea, but I know you would never. You are sweet, caring, and possibly the best boyfriend to ever exist. You are not your father, you are Shouto Todorki, my boyfriend."

"I've hurt you so much these past few weeks. I've ignored you, and I've been cold, why are you still here."

"You pushed me away because you thought it was good for me. Granted that wasn't your choice to make, I'm still here because I love you, and you love me, the rest is pudding."

You pressed your lips against Shoutos, they felt warm and rough, you hadn't felt them in so long, how you missed them so. You pressed into the kiss, with him pulling you closer, want and need dripping between you both as your wandering hands pulled and tugged each other.

"Tell me what's going on instead of pushing me away next time. I'm not letting you go, no matter how hard you push me away. I'm here to stay."

"I will, I promise. I love you, [Y/N], so much. I need you in my life. I've been an awful ass, and I know I'm in no place to make requests, but please don't go with Katsuki."

"I never planned to, I turned him down when he first asked. I wanted to spend Christmas with you, Sho. We're always together for the holidays, we have our own traditions, and spending it with anyone else isn't right."

"I wasn't gonna go home either, was gonna stay here. What a pair of liars we are, c'mon, I think we can still salvage this Christmas Eve."

Shouto kissed your hand and tugged you towards the kitchen. With your hands enveloped in each other, all was right. It was right, being with you was right. Maybe he was a monster, maybe he was temperamental, but that was something he was willing to work on to be with you.

198 notes · View notes

lambroseforlife · 5 years

Note

Rewrite of the first scene, but with the au where you're colorblind until you see your soulmate (preferably where they're both too shocked to say anything until Lilly's dragged out of the polling office)

What an intriguing suggestion. This prompt was the first time I had ever heard of the colorblind soulmate AU so I had to do some research and read fanfics from other fandoms to get a general idea of it.

I dont know if I correctly wrote out what you suggested in parenthesis, anon. But to make up for it, I decided to try to one-up your request. I figured this oneshot would make for an…interesting read from Rikkard Ambrose’s POV (“wow sooo original lambroseforlife, as if there arent like 1536364324262 fanfics out there with this style already”).

This was definitely tougher to write than Lilly’s POV but I tried my best to make it CLOSELY parallel the Ambrose POV chapter from Book 1. Here you go!

**Text in bold font> is dialogue taken from the series and belongs to Robert Thier.**

— — —

‘Ah! Would you just look at that! What a sight to see! There’s just no place like London! No place like it whatsoever! Don’t you agree, Sir?’

Silence.

‘Just listen to those sounds! Nothing else has ever felt so welcoming! It’s a treat for the ears! Isn’t it wonderful, Sir?’

Silence.

‘Can you smell that? Just take a whiff of that fresh sea air, Sir! Air so fresh! No air like that anywhere else! What do you think, Sir?’

Silence.

‘I’ve been all over the world. I’ve travelled everywhere there is to see. The coasts of Brazil, the islands in the West, all European ports, but there is no place as wonderful as home. Isn’t it nostalgic, Sir?’

My head slowly turned to meet the Captain’s bright smile. Cold eyes drilled into his.

‘What exactly, Captain? The fog, the people yelling, or the pollution?’

His smile didn’t diminish as I expected. ‘Everything,of course! Isn’t it great to be returning to England, Mr Ambrose?’ He clapped a wrinkled hand on my shoulder.

In lieu of a dagger, I used my eyes. They dug into his hand still grasping my shoulder, then at him. I said nothing as the seconds ticked by.

Eighteen seconds…

Forty-two seconds…

One minute and twenty-five seconds…

Two minutes and seven seconds…

His smile faded and he withdrew his hand. ‘Um…I will go check on the rest of the, er, crew.’

He retreated. I didn’t bother glancing at his departing form. I stared out at the approaching harbour, growing bigger with every passing minute.

‘Sahib?’

‘Yes?’ I addressed the man standing behind me. I still didn’t move.

‘The Captain says we’re close to docking, Sahib.’

‘Adequate. Go check on the goods.’

‘I will immediately, Sahib.’

Silence. But no retreating footsteps.

‘Sahib?’

‘What is it, Karim?’

‘Is Dalgliesh awaiting our arrival? Will he have something planned?’

I turned to look at him. With his turban atop his head, his arms were crossed and his dark eyes were focused ahead, glaring into the grey distance.

‘Do you expect that he does?’

‘I do, Sahib.’

‘Then he won’t, Karim.’ My hand dug into my tailcoat pocket, making sure that the loaded revolver was there. ‘One should expect the unexpected, not the expected.’

His eyes met mine. ‘You have a point, Sahib.’ His hand twitched, towards the direction of his sabre hanging from his belt.

Silence again.

‘I will go check on the cargo, Sahib.’ The looming figure of my bodyguard diminished into the mist.

I turned my head back towards the impending harbour, ever growing closer. Black and white highlighted the distance. Multitudes of grey tones illuminated the sky.

Unbidden, I heard a young woman’s voice.

‘I’m sure if you meet the right girl, she will be like sunshine, brightening up your life.’¹

I shook my head. Why was I remembering her words now? Out of all the unlikely times.

The absurd notion of seeing “colour” from meeting your “soulmate” was a needless complication and more likely, both merely exaggerated hoaxes. What I could see now was more than enough.

However, if only a similar idea extended to sensation. It would have been extremely useful against the current weather. I tipped my hat down over my face, to shield from the worst of the wind. It wasn’t very effective.

As my destination loomed closer, realisation struck. It was almost a decade since I had been here, back in England. I had been much younger then, running from…

Something churned in my gut and I ignored it.

Probably just hunger.

— — —

‘Mr Ambrose, how does it feel to be back from the colonies?’

‘Mr Ambrose, what is the secret to your wealth?’

‘A statement, Mr Ambrose, on the upcoming elections! Which party do you support?’

A pack of reporters circled the gangway as Karim and I descended from the ship. I narrowed my eyes, disregarding them the same way that I did to those requesting charity.

I gave them the same response as well. Rather, a lack of one. Ignoring them, I stepped down from the gangplank and onto the landing.

One reporter in particular remained in place, blocking my way. My eyes bored into his, unblinking. He gulped, but still refused to move. The man’s courageous spirit was admirable, although foolishly misplaced.

‘Is it true that recently, you deliberately betrayed a business associate and had him arrested to obtain and resell his property?’

‘I did.’

‘What?’

‘Yes. I exposed him, purchased his property and resold it so it could be demolished to build a railroad. Does that answer your question?’

He stared at me, slack-jawed. ‘But that’s unethical, even for business! Where’s your sense of honour as a gentleman? Your conscience?’

I cocked my head. I had been mistaken, unfortunately. It seemed that this man lacked courage and was just utterly foolish.

‘Conscience?’

I took a step towards him and he took a step back.

‘Haven’t you heard of the saying?’ I asked.

One step forward. One step back in response.

‘All is fair in love and war.’ I continued.

Another step forward. Another step back and…

Splash!

The reporter fell into the water. The distracted fool had forgotten to pay attention to his surroundings. Big mistake.

‘Especially war.’

I raised an eyebrow at his sputtering form as he resurfaced from the sea, gasping for air. I turned my gaze to rest of the convened hyenas, frozen in shock.

‘Well? Any other questions?’

Unfreezing, they fled.

‘That went smoother than expected.’ Karim remarked, beside me.

‘Indeed. But it seems we have another problem.’

The reporters had left but from the commotion, a crowd of people had formed. Their expressions were all identical, eyes widened in disbelief at the current scene.

‘Do you want me to handle this, Sahib?’

‘No need.’ Stepping forward, I stared down at the individuals among the forelines of the crowd. Their eyes directly met mine. I could see curiosity and fear mingled in them. I narrowed my eyes again. My head jerked upwards, once.

Wordlessly, they began to part from the middle. The people behind them followed suit and so forth. The crowd eventually split in half, forming a pathway for me and my bodyguard to cross. As we walked through the crowd, I could hear various whispers.

‘Is that…?’

‘Rikkard Ambrose! Rumour has it that he left here a decade ago…’

‘One of the richest men from the British Empire!’

‘…pretty good looking too if I do say so myself.’

I kept my eyes focused straight ahead and tuned them out. Gods didn’t concern themselves with the buzzing of insects.

Well, from what I had been told. Doing so otherwise sounded like a complete waste of time.

We exited out into one of the streets. Karim didn’t stray from his spot behind me when I stopped.

‘What now, Sahib?’

I reached into my pocket and withdrew a written slip of paper, handing it to him.

‘Is this the address of the office?’

A curt nod.

‘Should I get a cab, Sahib?’

I shook my head.

‘Are we walking there?’

Another curt nod.

‘Very well, Sahib.’

Without another word, we both headed straight into the fog.

— — —

Plink.

A minute passed. No answer.

Plink.

Thirty seconds. Still no answer.

Plink.

Ten seconds. Silence.

This was ridiculous! Three messages and no response? Was it too much to expect diligence from employees, more specifically, personal secretaries? With additional emphasis on the personal part, they were supposed to immediately respond to their employers!

I was about to pull the lever to send another message through the pneumatic tube— my designated method of efficient communication throughout the building for the due intention of saving time— when I realised it was not fulfilling its intended purpose.

‘Simmons!’ I called out.

Still silence.

I stood up, the chair scraping against the bare stone floor as it was shoved back. I marched over to the door connecting my office with his and threw open the door.

Emptiness. The only exception being the dust motes floating in the air.

My hand reached into the pocket of my waistcoat, retrieving my watch. I ignored the symbol on the silver lid as the watch opened, displaying the time. Exactly thirty-two minutes and fifty-eight seconds past ten in the morning. Where was Simmons? For the first time since my arrival in London, he was late.

I checked through his desk drawers for a note. Nothing. In fact, the entire desk was empty. Almost as if…

I marched back into my office and grabbed the mouthpiece that led down to the floor below.

‘Karim? Come up now! Simmons is missing!’

Twenty-three seconds later, Karim entered my office. Upon seeing my expression, he wordlessly headed into the adjacent office, searching the room. I could hear items being shuffled around and drawers opening while I waited.

‘No results, Sahib.’ Karim rematerialised at the doorway, confirming my suspicions. He shook his head. ‘The room is completely emptied of his belongings.’

‘Check the rest of the building. If you happen to find him, then personally inform him my opinions on tardiness.’

‘I will do so, Sahib.’

Approximately twenty-seven minutes and twelve seconds later, Karim returned. His eyebrows were furrowed. He shook his head again. ‘Still nothing, Sahib. He’s not in this building.’

My eyes narrowed. That could only mean one thing. ‘Then he permanently left.’

‘It seems so, Sahib. He must have decided to quit his job.’

‘Quit? Why quit now? He was here for nearly three years before I arrived.’

‘I have no idea, Sahib. He didn’t leave anything behind that could have explained. No resignation letter, no personal items, nothing at all.’

My eyes narrowed even further. The gall of that imbecile! He didn’t even have the patience for me to personally sack him.

‘Sahib,’ Karim spoke up again, ‘Did you want me to post an advertisement for a job opening in The Times?

My eyes shot up to glare at him. ‘Karim, are you insane? Do you have any idea how much it costs for a newspaper advertisement nowadays?’

‘I do not, Sahib.’

‘Too exorbitant to be sensible, that’s how much! Never mind that. I’ll have to find another way to hire a replacement. Until then, I’ll manage on my own.’

— — —

A few days later, I glowered at the significantly sized pile of letters sitting on my desk, willing them to make themselves scarce through the force of my eyes. For some reason, it didn’t seem to work. It was the appointed task of my secretary to sort through my mail. But as that position was currently unoccupied, the responsibility had fallen to me.

‘Are you sure about not advertising the open position, Sahib?’ The deep voice rumbled above me.

I didn’t answer. Instead, I riffled through the envelopes, promptly dumping the ones with dainty penmanship or extravagant designs into the waste paper bin.

‘Those could be crucial correspondence from business associations.’ Karim nodded to the discarded letters.

‘Not for the type of business I desire to conduct.’ I gave him a pointed look.

‘I see, Sahib. My apologies.’

‘Any recent news from the estate agents?’

‘I have not heard anything from them, Sahib.’

‘Convey our urgency, Karim. I need another office in the countryside for my business dealings.’ I steepled my fingers as I glanced around the stark, dimly lit interior of my office. ‘Negotiations aren’t proceeding as smoothly in here as I would like.’

‘I wonder why, Sahib.’

‘I do too, Karim. It would be a waste of investment otherwise if these deals weren’t so crucial.’

Before he could respond, a voice came from one of the speaking tubes on my desk. I picked it up and recognised the other person as Mr Stone, from the inquiry desk.

‘Mr Ambrose, there is a young boy here to see you. He says he was sent by Mr Elseworth from Elseworth and Brown, estate agents.’

Karim and I looked at each other before I spoke. ‘Send him in.’

‘Yes, Mr Ambrose, Sir.’

I set the tube back down on the desk when knocking came from the door. A moment later, the door opened and the message boy stepped in.

‘Mr Elseworth sent you?’

‘He did, Guv. You was looking for a place in the country?’

‘I still am.’

‘Mr Elseworth’s got a place for you. He’s downstairs waiting since ‘e heard you wanted a place real quick.’

‘Let’s go, Karim. We’ll see what Mr Elseworth has to offer.’ I stood up and followed the boy downstairs to the entrance.

Once my feet stepped onto the stone floor of the main hall, the workers noticed my presence. They halted, all eyes transfixed on me.

I met the eyes of the sallow-faced receptionist. Mr Pearson was his name, from what my memory recalled. His face lost colour and he bent over in a small bow before resuming his work.

My icy gaze flashed back to the rest of the statues, fixing on their motionless figures for one second.

In the next, they moved again, doubling the speed to their destination.

Adequate. It seemed that news had spread since my initial arrival here.

When I had entered Empire House for the first time, there had been something called a ‘welcoming party’ arranged for me. It was organised by none other than Sallow-face himself. No doubt a lick-spittle ploy to fall into my good graces. It would have worked on anyone else— just not on me.

To my extreme displeasure, there had been banners and decorations. Even a garish brass band playing. The employees had been standing by them, not a single one doing his appointed task.

I had immediately put an end to the frivolous activity, of course. The band left once they realised they were not getting paid and that they would be thrown out instead. I ordered the employees to sell whatever they could and to dispose of the rest of the clutter. One man protested to my commands, insisting that ‘The garlands were specially multi-coloured!’

He had been permanently dismissed later that day.

Currently, I followed the boy across the hall as he led me to whom I assumed was Mr Elseworth. He resembled a pig, with a considerable figure and small beady eyes.

‘Mr Ambrose!’ He gave me a simpering grin, holding out his hand for me to shake. ‘Just the man I wanted to see! I believe I have something that you will like very much. I appreciate that you came all the way down here to escort me. Shall you lead the way back to your office and we—’

‘No.’ I ignored his extended hand. ‘I have business to attend to. We will talk on the way. Come.’

Without waiting for a response, I went outside. Approximately eight seconds later, Mr Elseworth appeared beside me, panting heavily to keep up with my pace.

‘Wouldn’t it be…better if…we discussed…this inside—’

‘No.’ Taking out my pocketwatch without breaking my stride, I checked the time. ‘I have somewhere to be in seventeen minutes and three seconds. If you have an offer to make, then make it now.’

— — —

Twelve minutes and forty three seconds had passed when I arrived at the street for my intended location. I had heard enough from Mr Elseworth with his acclamations on Wilding Park. In between his laboured breathing, I had discerned that it had ten bedrooms and the latest bathing amenities.

‘It’s simply spectacular, I tell you!’ He droned on mindlessly. ‘One of the best places I have ever I seen and I have seen a lot of places. A lot of places for my years.’

‘Is that so?’ My gaze was fixed on a particular building that had come into view. ‘How strange that you intend to sell it so easily.’

‘To you, of course, Mr Ambrose! I can tell that you’re a man after my own heart. With you, Wilding Park will be well cared for. I just know it. There is so much it has to offer…’

He continued rambling on. His servile chattering bored me. It was a waste of time, too much spent on a matter that didn’t need much thought. Country estates were the same, more or less.

‘Mr Elseworth,’ I cut him off, mid-flattery. ‘You have effectively expressed your opinion. I accept your offer.’

His round face beamed but I continued. ‘However, if I find that the place is…defective to your description, then I will be dissatisfied. Very dissatisfied. Do not forget that.’

His clammy pallor showed that he understood my words.

‘Karim?’ I waved my bodyguard forward. ‘Give him the money. I’m already busy as it is.’

Karim stepped closer to Mr Elseworth, ready to finish this deal— then paused. I was about to question him when I heard it.

To be more specific, someone clearing their throat.

‘Sir? Excuse me?’ The stranger’s voice was clear enough to be heard and high enough to be an inconvenience. Much time had been wasted today and I didn’t intend to waste any more. Whatever the person expected from me was going to be unfulfilled.

Due to the mist, I could faintly see a figure heading towards me. Until Karim grabbed the person by the arm, preventing their advance.

‘Leave, boy! You’re not wanted here!’ He snapped. ‘The Sahib doesn’t want your begging!’

‘I’m not asking him for money!’ The person countered in what resembled an irate tone. I was ready to have Karim take care of this and head towards my destination when the stranger continued. ‘I’m trying to help him save some, actually.’

I completely halted.

‘Save? Release him, Karim!’ I examined the individual more closely. He seemed to be a strange young man, with a loose-fitting tailcoat and pair of trousers that billowed on his figure save for his posterior. He had round cheeks and an outsized top hat that sat upon a tangled mess of dark hair. His eyes appeared to be also dark— from what I could discern. Traces of the fog were obscuring most of his irises given the distance. Regardless, the rest of his appearance did not reassure the credibility of his words.

‘Explain yourself.’ I icily glared at him. ‘How are you going to help me save money?’

Despite the ferocity of my eyes, he tried to step closer to me and had to be intercepted by Karim. Interesting. My glare was known to have the opposite effect on others. What a plucky boy. Either that or naive. Maybe both, given his juvenile impression.

‘I overheard some of your conversation with Mister…’ He swallowed, glancing over at the stout man staring angrily at him.

‘Elseworth.’

‘…Elseworth. Sir, do you plan to buy Wilding Park?’

‘I do. What’s it to you?’

‘Well…’ He rubbed at his neck nervously. ‘I would recommend that you don’t.’

‘How come?’ I cocked my head. I still couldn’t see his eyes completely but his stance seemed straightforward. A bit anxious, but still open. Did he have hidden intentions?

‘The place is rather decrepit and rundown in appearance.’

‘How do you know this?’

‘One of my relatives lives near there. My grandmother, actually. I have visited her a few times and noticed the place in passing. It isn’t the loveliest of houses.’

‘I am not interested in loveliness. Is it stable?’

‘It is, most definitely, Sir!’ Mr Elseworth interjected. His expression switched back to his previous angry glare, directed towards the young man. ‘This brat doesn’t know what he’s saying.’

‘It is not stable.’ The young man retorted, scowling back at him. It seemed that he had more backbone than initial appearance.

‘How so?’ I asked.

‘The area around the house was overrun with weeds. The house itself had growing stains around the base as well as missing windows and broken roof tiles. Once, while inside my coach, I overheard the caretaker yelling about roaches in the house and rats on the grounds.’

‘You noticed all this from just seeing the place at a distance a few times?’

‘I did.’

‘Hm. Exactly what I need.’

‘But Sir, I just explained that Wilding Park is not—’

‘Never mind the house. I meant you.’

‘What?’ He pointed to himself hesitantly.

‘Yes. You, young man.’ I turned to Karim. ‘Dispose of Mr Elseworth accordingly. He has breached the terms of our agreement.’

Karim gave a nod. I disregarded the squeals of terror as I returned my attention back to the young man.

‘My previous secretary quit my employ a few days ago for an incomprehensible reason. Now I need a new secretary. With your memory and fast thinking, you would be the ideal man for the position.’

The young man blinked rapidly and I heard a choking noise.

‘Um…the ideal man? I apologise, Sir, but I don’t think I would fit your particular standards.’

What? Why was he choosing now, out of all times, to be humble?

‘Are you illiterate?’

‘No, I’m not but…’

‘Are you currently employed?’

‘No, but…’

‘Then it’s decided.’ I stated with absolute finality. ‘My office. Exactly nine on Monday morning. Do not be late.’

I reached into my pocket and stepped forward, holding out my business card towards him.

‘Take this.’

The last of the fog faded and I could see the young man clearly. His irises were dark as I suspected, and looking at me in widened shock. His eyes practically bulged out when I came into his view. His jaw dropped.

What was wrong with him? Was his mental state not as sound as I had assumed?

‘Hello? Here, my card.’ I waved the item out.

That’s when it happened.

It started from his eyes, spreading out to the rest of his face. Something smeared, trickling down to the rest of his body and then outwards everywhere.

What was this?

I blinked, trying to clear my vision. It didn’t work. Like a stain, something was stuck to my eyes.

Was this…

No.

It couldn’t be.

Was this…

Was this colour?

How disorienting. I felt pain pulsate in my skull. It was unprepared for the onslaught of… of this.

I was unprepared.

Wait.

If I was seeing in colour then that meant…

I heard her voice again.

‘One day, you’ll meet that special someone, and it will change everything.’²

No.

Nonononono. No!

It couldn’t be!

This is just a coincidence, I told myself. Nothing more than a coincidence.

Or a joke.

A really bad one.

His hand reached out towards mine and I tensed. Why was he…

He tentatively grasped the edge of my business card, choosing to focus his gaze on it.

‘I’m surprised, Sir.’ He softly murmured. ‘I didn’t expect a job offer.’

Oh, right.

Focus! Don’t forget your original purpose. You can’t afford distractions.

Instantly, I smoothed my expression out, making sure it was blank. Cold. Impenetrable.

‘Make sure that “surprise” isn’t common for you while you work for me. I expect efficiency and attentiveness from my employees.’

Without waiting for a response, I whirled away and headed down the street, with Karim right on my heels. I was already reconsidering my job offer to the young man but the alternative was worse. I couldn’t stand opening another gaudy envelope pestering me to donate or attend social events. If the young man showed up on Monday, then adequate. If not, then…I had underestimated his courage. But…

It would have been safer.

Preposterous, I chided myself. Soulmates didn’t exist just because colour did. It was simply an invalid justification for one of life’s unexplained mysteries.

Even so, one thing did exist: capital offence. An example of which was buggery.

Not that I would ever commit such a crime. The only times I had ever felt anything close to pleasure was while tallying my annual profits.

But upon remembering the glazed look in the young man’s eyes, there was no doubt that he had experienced the same thing when he saw me. Seeing in colour.

Even now, the idea was still unbelievable. I would have laughed at the absurdity of the entire situation if I hadn’t forgotten how to years ago.

The universe was going to pay for this. I would make sure of that.

With ten percent added interest.

— — —

Colour looked like a… a catastrophe. Like things couldn’t decide what they wanted to be so they settled on greediness, taking a bit of everything. So complicated.

Needlessly, unnecessarily complicated.

It took me longer than expected to reach my destination. Disoriented, I had nearly stumbled twice while walking. Twice. The headache behind my eyes had not abated.

Displeased, I peered up at the sign above the entrance. Bradley and Bullard’s Bank, it read in very dark lettering. Black, I think?

Once, when I was much younger, I had found a discarded pamphlet about colour. Printed squares labelled as red or blue appeared identical to me. The pamphlet explained that from birth, people could only see in what was referred to as the “monochrome spectrum”. The only three distinguishable colours were black, white and grey. Far more simple and efficient.

‘Sahib?’ Karim spoke next to me, concern in his voice. ‘Are you unwell? Maybe we should return another time.’

‘No. I will finish this now. It’s pointless to waste another trip.’

‘As you wish, Sahib.’ He stepped into the establishment first, as a bodyguard would. I followed after him.

Upon our entrance, the various people chatting and writing stopped. Their eyes spotted Karim and his sabre first, then landed on me.

Disregarding the line of people waiting for the counter, I strode over to the nearest clerk.

‘You! How much is this bank?’ I pinned him in place with my eyes.

‘Er… our accounts have low fees for both regular and stock—’

I tutted. ‘Incorrect answer. How much is this bank?’

The man stared at me in confusion, his dark eyes assessing me. They travelled down my figure, lingering over my simple and plain black attire. When they returned to my face, they had narrowed into slits. Commonplace halfwit. I knew he had assumed wrongly based off of my appearance.

‘Sir, I’m afraid I cannot understand your request. There seems to be a misunderstanding.’

‘Yes. On your part entirely.’

He stuck his nose upwards. ‘I’m going to have to request that you move, Sir. You are stalling the line.’

Wordlessly, I reached into my pocket and withdrew another business card. My eyes never left his as I slid it across the counter.

His gaze flickered to the card, reading my engraved name. His blanched face slowly rose up to meet my stare.

‘Where’s your manager?’

‘M-My apologies, Mr Ambrose, Sir. I will fetch him right away.’

He scrambled, speeding towards the back of the bank. While I waited, I picked up the card and pocketed it again. They were expensive to order and I couldn’t afford to waste them.

My gaze drifted down to the counter. It was painted a darker colour, not black but something close to it. It looked familiar but I couldn’t recall why.

That is, until a pair of widened eyes flashed in my vision. His ey—

I clamped down on that thought. Hard. With such ferocity, my teeth ground together from the effort.

The headache must have impaired my thinking. That could be the only reason. There was no other possible explanation.

‘Mr Ambrose?’ A new voice called.

My focus moved upwards. The clerk was accompanied by another man whom I presumed was the manager.

‘I’m Mr Frank Wilson, the manager of this establishment. Mr Charles informed me that you wish to purchase this bank?’

‘Indeed.’

‘I see. Why don’t we discuss this…more privately? We can talk in my office.’

‘Yes. Before that, I have a question.’

‘Yes?’

‘What colour is this counter?’

What the heck? Why did I ask that?

‘Excuse me?’

‘You are excused. Now answer the question.’

‘I-I’m not— uh, I can’t…” He stammered.

So he didn’t know. He couldn’t see colour either. It was unwise and impulsive of me to assume so. Why had I taken leave of my senses? My mental state was deteriorating rapidly. The sooner I finished my business and left this place, the better.

‘Brown.’

The gruff voice came somewhere behind me. I turned around to see an old man, waiting at the front of the line.

‘It’s called brown.’

His weathered face held no expression but his sharp eyes met mine directly, without trepidation. There was a knowing glint in them that I immediately distrusted.

I gave him a curt nod, then turned back to the two confused men standing in front of me.

‘Lead the way, Mr Wilson. We have business to discuss.’

— — —

Approximately seven minutes later, I left Bradley and Bullard’s Bank as its new owner. Karim had the written proof of the transaction details safely tucked away.

‘Did this deal go according to your liking, Sahib?’

I inhaled, glancing around the crowded street. ‘I suppose so. For now.’

Most of my headache had cleared, its remnants causing the occasional throb. Nothing that the prospect of money couldn’t fix.

‘One day the bank of England, Sahib.’

I nodded. One day.

‘Sahib…’ Karim hesitated. ‘What you asked in the bank, does that mean—’

‘Patriarchal oppressors!’ A screech drowned out Karim’s voice. ‘Chauvinist pigs!’

I turned towards the commotion to see—

Someone familiar?

Yes, it was. Karim and I stared at the defiant figure being carted out of a polling station by officers down the street. Someone too familiar. The young man I had met no less than half an hour ago. My new secretary.

Snapping out of my paralysis, I marched over to the two police officers. This was not good. The police would have to overlook this until I had found a suitable replacement.

‘Officer, what is happening here? Why are you taking that young man?’ I demanded.

The constable looked up and upon seeing me, froze. Unlike Mr Charles, he recognised me, judging by his shocked expression. His next words confirmed it.

‘Mr Ambrose, Sir!’ He saluted quickly with one hand before it returned back to restrain my replacement secretary. The young man was struggling in a fruitless endeavour for freedom. ‘Sir, which young man are you referring to?’

My eyes shifted to young man he was gripping onto then back to him. Was it not obvious enough?

‘The one you’re restraining. Who else? Why are you taking him?’

‘Mr Ambrose, Sir, I don’t know how to break this gently…but this person isn’t a young man.’ He grabbed the young man’s black hat and yanked it off. A headful of brown strands spilt out. Almost the same colour as the youth’s eyes. ‘A young woman. She’s a girl, Sir.’

What?

No.

My lips parted to speak. No sound came out.

For the first time in a long time, I had no idea what to say.

‘Is something the matter, Mr Ambrose, Sir?’

Silence. But not deliberate from my end. I had no response for him. Almost a minute had passed when he glanced at the other officer. ‘If you don’t mind, Mr Ambrose, we have to take her away. Perhaps she’ll learn her place as a female after staying overnight in a cell.’

The other officer shook his head. ‘A woman voting? What an absurd idea! Before you know it, more might even demand for a job!’

They both chuckled, but I hardly registered the sound. My mouth snapped shut at the realisation.

Job.

Woman.

A woman’s job.

No!

A headache started to throb at my temples for the second time within the hour. Ice crawled down my spine only to fester into fury in my chest. My freezing glare sought one target only to find him— no, her— already staring at me.

The mal— female’s brown eyes met mine, unblinking. Unlike the drab shade of bank counter, they were bold. Bright. Stubborn. Annoying. They refused to cower to the glacial wrath sparking out of mine.

The police had nearly dragged her around the corner, when she grinned at me. She called out before she was pulled out of sight.

‘Looking forward to seeing you at work on Monday, Sir!’³

It seemed that I now had another problem instead.

One far bigger than buggery.

— — —

Phew! This took a LOT of brushing up on the main series to write. As I said, my goal was to have this chapter parallel VERY closely to the Ambrose POV chapter of Storm and Silence but with the twist that anon asked for. So I kept major events but modified them since anon requested me for a rewrite. I hope that this oneshot is passable for an Ambrose POV.

*Original series quote sources:

¹Before the Storm, Chapter 16: ‘Paths and Rails’

²Before the Storm, Chapter 16

³Storm and Silence, Chapter 1: ‘Arrested for Good Manners’

#kinda an ask #answered #storm and silence #lilly linton #rikkard ambrose #karim #fanfiction #oneshot #writing prompt #prompt 4 #knowledgeispoweristimeismoney #a decent read for disappointed radish readers

48 notes · View notes