#is it obvious that i know nothing abt children because

[horang-07]

i am about to ramble like a crazy person abt the fnaf movie so scroll if u don’t like spoilers

was not expecting all the love on my last post so i will keep posting thoughts abt the movie

another thing that rlly interested me in the movie was the focus on images, how humans process things through what we see rather than context, and how this sets up the fnaf movie trilogy to focus on fnaf 4 in the next movies.

the most obvious example is abby, we’re explicitly told that children communicate and understand things through pictures, which mike sorta shrugs off until he starts seeing the bigger picture. this then applies to the animatronics when he learns that they are also children and incredibly influenced by the drawings in their environment. the restaurant in the movie is very much a living thing of its own, the way it thrums to life when abby enters, and the animatronics know the truth of the drawing the second it is pinned up, and the animatronics are an extension of that.

a less obvious example is mike. even though he shrugs off abby’s teacher, and the point she makes about him being at the centre of all her pictures, he is much the same. it isn’t just children who are influenced by images. he has been returning to the same image every night for we don’t even know how long, the same picture of the nebraskan trees, the same perfect family picture he describes to vanessa, the same image of his brother looking at him out of the car window. everything he does is a result of this image. he is wholly consumed by it, believes he can somehow change the picture and see the truth beneath it if he just tries hard enough.

the ghost children, specifically golden freddy, change the image for him in an attempt to placate him into giving them abby, but no matter if he dreams of a happy family, it wont change the truth of what happened. just like how pasting a picture of five children happily holding hands with a golden bunny won’t change the truth underneath. images are fallible, they don’t tell the truth and we cannot trust our brains.

firstly i think this is a really fun direction to take in context to how the movie humanises the animatronics. fnaf 1 is a game made entirely of scary, still images of the animatronics, save for the jumpscares and foxy’s run. the lore is sparse and entirely given through exposition (if i hear one more person complain abt vanny only being there for exposition and not phone guy’s two minute loredump at the start of every night in the game i will lose it), and we know nothing other than that our death is imminent.

but the truth is that these animatronics are kids. they’re scared and lost and confused and cannot understand what has happened. underneath bonnie in the west hallway camera and freddy staring at you from the showtime room are terrified kids doing what they feel they have to. the movie was incredibly dedicated to showing that these kids still want to build pillow forts and sing to music and tickle their friends and be a family and i think it was a great choice.

i think all this focus on images is definitely a perfect lead into fnaf 4 (im not 100% on my book lore but i believe there are three books that cover fnaf 1, fnaf 4 and then sister location??) especially with the recent lore update that all of fnaf 4 is hallucinations. we don’t need a lore explanation of how the nightmares could be real because… they aren’t. following the game timeline, fnaf 4 would have already happened by now but we could easily see a return to it through mike, especially if the schmidt-emily or schmidt-afton theories are true and mike could have been the child in fnaf 4 but surpressed his memories. firstly we have a protagonist who is already on sleeping medication and has dreams that can be easily manipulated. this is a perfect setup for the nightmare animatronics to start making themselves known.

i also think that fnaf 1 was intentionally visually tame. the themes of the movie are actually very dark, they don’t shy away from the truth of the bodies being hidden in the suits, the animatronics Very Brutally kill the burglars, max is literally bitten in half and her body is hidden away, but the on-screen gore keeps it pg. this 100% allows them to experiment further with the levels of gore, tension and violence if they do fnaf 4, because quite frankly some of the nightmares are horrifying.

TLDR this movie sets up a million directions and theories that the next one could go in, and theres nothing the fnaf fandom loves more than vague lore and theory crafting

vanny post next bc i have Thoughts

#eden rambles #fnaf spoilers #fnaf #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #william afton #five nights at freddy's #vanessa afton #fnaf 4 #fnaf theory

[tainted-liquor]

this was specifically requested BY Bree, so here we go🤷🏽‍♀️

“Hood Princess” bree

For starters, I wanna just get a little background info out the way before I do anything. Bree is Bahamian, says she doesn’t experience racism, and its v likely that she has never lived outside of the Bahamas. The official language of the Bahamas is English and Haitian Creole, as many people of Haitian decent LIVE on the island. Haitian Creole derived from FRENCH, lets keep this in mind.

so first I wanna address Bree’s ignorance/marginalization of Caribbean people.

In the DC server I said “maldito mamaguevo” right after having a disagreement over…this message

I thought it was obvious this was in a playful/joking manner, but maybe she took this as a personal attack/accusation. I would just like to say that if I suspected Bree abt this anon (which I didn’t because she had Honey BLOCKED for some reason during this), I wouldn’t have made a joke abt it. Not sent the SS to her. I would’ve made a mental note of it and kept it pushing.

When Bree first sent this message I was confused, because as you know I have Dominican family. I speak Dominican Spanish, and generally only rlly know Dominican slang that I’ve learned from my brother and his side of the family. So obvi I was confused because Bree makes it known she’s very much Bahamian, so I googled what language the Bahamas speaks and if it’s anything like Dominican Spanish !

As you can see, they don’t speak Spanish…so what was the point of saying “I’m Caribbean I know what this means?” Anyone can be Caribbean…White black Asian Latino. If you’re born in the Caribbean you’re Caribbean…so why does this equate to her speaking spanish?

so naturally i went to Dalia abt it cuz even tho I myself could feel this was iffy, I wanted to ask someone else who is more submerged in Dominican culture. And Dalia said this felt iffy, because she has marginalized the Caribbean before and hopped between different dialects that are…not her own! Like Jamaican patois

But besides that, lets address another issue w Bree before we dive into her history of supporting a miles smut writer.

As some of you may know, Bree used to refer to herself as a “hood princess” and used PLENTYYYYY of AAVE and african american culture in her works…lets break this down rq

Bree has earned herself a reputation as a rather aggressive and obnoxious blogger, doing absolutely nothing but fighting w gwiles Stans and “speaking her mind” abt things nobody really paid any attention to. She said she was a pale “natural blonde” girl (I haven’t seen shawty so idk wtf she looks like)

So why does she run around claiming the title of a “hood princess” when she 1, did not grow up in an American hood, and 2, is probably white passing from her own mouth?

for black children who grew up in the hood, you know it’s nothing to brag about. It’s a low income neighborhood, a “bootleg” version of a neighborHOOD. Hence the name. It’s an incomplete neighborhood.

When I had a general discussion w her about the fetishization of African American culture a week ago, she seemed mad avid to defend making the hood be your whole personality..trying to justify it by saying it “makes you think and act a certain way” which is v true! However I’ve never once tried to make myself into a sexxyred “hood princess” js cuz I grew up in a low income area. She even agreed that african american culture was fetishized, so I’m so confused as to why she was offended by my post yesterday?

So as to why she’s mad…idk. When I’ve talked to her abt this issue before, and I’ve literally just taken the issue online this time as a black creator

now let’s move on to Bree’s ableism☠️

I got her so mad she tried to tell me I was “half a chromosome away from a learning disability”…ok!!

But besides that, lets talk about her defending Anika!

So this summer, a popular creator by the name Anikaluv made a fic where miles had readers…nudes in his phone😭

Children should not be sending, keeping, or taking nudes of themselves or anyone else. Wether that’s 14, 15, 16, 17. Just DON’T! It’s illegal, and this fic glosses over the fact that it’s a disgusting crime. Not only that, but miles mother SEES the readers nudes…so😭

Bree immediately took to defend Anika, showing her support for her and saying if we keep complaining we won’t have anything to read☠️☠️

When this is Anika…and Bree DEFENDING Anika

Anika also wrote about the reader buying miles a thong?? At 15?? You don’t “read miles smut” but you sure read anikas work !

FYI…Anika was going to write about Reader and miles GRINDING in said lingerie. And Anika said she despises miles smut, and so did you! But at the end of the day that doesn’t change what you said

Here’s the screenshot you wanted ms. “People are gonna do what they do”

mouthful, but there we go

#my bad #across the spiderverse #atsv #into the spiderverse #tainted liquor

[perpetuallypottytraining]

(im the anon that said regression is not nsfw)

oh okay i get it kind of :thumbs_up:

do u talk abt potty training stuff on ur main age regression acc too or is it just this one? cuz if u do i might follow idk hehe

okay, I thiiiink these are the same person? Probably? Unclear. I'll answer both here, for clarity.

1 - No, I don't talk about potty training stuff on my main, not anymore. I moved those posts here a couple of years ago. The only content that's there are maybe some reblogs from other regressors.

2 - Okay, first of all, age regressors did NOT come up with those terms, nor do they have exclusive rights to use them. Those terms have been used by people for, like, ever. Parents calling their kids "little ones", family members calling out "littles, come over here!" to refer to any younger members, the obvious origins of "mom" and "dad" and their variants, and "caregivers" being tied to both people who care for babies, children, the elderly, and those with disabilities.

If anything, age players have more rights to the terms "littles" and "caregiver" in the context that we're using on this site. They're the ones who originated/popularized them. I know this because I was here, on this site, in 2016, when age regressors decided to split off from the sfw age play community, and there was legitimately tons of discourse about who had the "right" to those terms.

(who here remembers the chire and the other handful of communities that attempted to exclude anyone who liked the parental nicknames and the usage of the word "little" in their regression? I do. god, do I remember. this is the main reason that a lot of old regression blogs specify that they're "community free regression")

Second, I... don't? Tag anything here as ageplay? Everything here is just tagged with omo tags, then with assorted organizational tags - there is nothing here tagged with agere or ageplay - just posts that use the very vague term of "little" and the other term of "caregiver" within the post itself.

(which, I just feel the need to repeat, is a word that even normies use!! my own parents, aunts, and uncles call me and my cousins littles!!! Outside of that, "Littles" is a shared community term!! Littles and Caregivers, as we use them, originated from Dominant Daddy/Mommy and Little Boy/Little Girl - it's the gender neutral version!! Cg/L! Regressors are the ones who decided to keep it!! Because it's vague!! That's intentional!!)

But, yeah, you're allowed to feel your feelings, and, honestly, the fact that you're uncomfortable with the "playing grown-up" tag is something that I anticipated when I made that tag - that it might make people uncomfortable! But, I've been working on making my own boundaries and enforcing them, while not immediately catering to make other people comfortable at the detriment of my own comfort/space.

This is my blog. People didn't like when I put non-sexual omo on my agere blog because it helped me regress. That's okay, and even I became uncomfortable with it after a while, so! I made this blog! It's not my agere blog. It's my soft omo blog. It's nsfw and for adults only. And, only just recently, I decided to take advantage of those two facts and put some other nsfw posts here. I do not want to make yet another sideblog for the handful of "icky" posts I'd like to reblog, especially when this blog is already here.

A nice thing about Tumblr is that tags are now blockable, so if, for some reason, you wanted to follow me still, you'd still be able too view all my other posts while excluding that specific tag. Or you can block me, if you wanted to - you curate your own online experience, and I'll hold no ill will towards you for making sure that you're comfortable and safe.

As for saying thats someone can't be both an age regressor and an age player? Literally what are you talking out????? Huh???? Do you think that adults can't age regress and slip into the mindset of a child while also being capable of, while in adult headspace, in a consensual relationship, roleplay as a child for sexual gratification??? Those are two different things!!! Ageplay is roleplay, and as such, one is capable of adult things! Agere is someone slipping into the headspace of a child!! Healthy communication with one's partner makes it clear what's okay in one headspace and what's okay in the other!!!

I'm not even an ageplayer and even I know that it's possible to do both 😭😭😭 and I just read fanfiction and people's actual blogs!!

As for your sign off, um. Okay? I don't even interact with a.geredips posts and blogs.... even if they're very relevant to me and my regression! Not even with my main!! (I'm also very shy and timid and a bit scared to interact) And, on my main, if people who follow me start breaking people's DNI, I literally softblock or block them - if they can't follow people's boundaries, then they can't interact! I'm just one blog, and I doubt that if anyone wanted to demonize age regressors, they need any help from me - people who deliberately mistag are probably more than enough tbh.

Ageplay and age regression, like it or not, was cut from the same cloth - a cloth made out of a gradient from black to white, with shades of grey all in between. Like a baby blanket! Black/ageplay and ABDL on one side, white/agere on the other, with you and me and my friends and mutuals somewhere in the middle, all spread out across!

Plenty of adults don't think anyone should return to the comfort of childhood things, and look at the whole blanket with scorn and disgust. Cutting off more and more of the blanket, because you think that my grey isn't as palatable as your grey, is not going to change these people's minds. Both of us live in the grey zone, and I personally think that by accepting more of the grey, our baby blanket will be strong enough to handle anything - even and especially people who think our blanket should be torn to shreds.

#im not even an ageplayer......... #i just thought that those posts were Really well written! #ah well. #asks #long post

[streaminn]

Let's expand a Lil bit more on the stalker Enid au

She meets Wednesday in camp chippewa as children. While it's a camp for rich kids, it's also an under the table werewolf conversion camp in the nights.

Esther is definitely a lot of extreme here, so Enid has the habit of being a Lil bit more withdrawn and skittish. She has alot of repressed aggression tho, just to keep that emotional part of her character.

Is she lowkey rabid if someone other than her mom keeps prodding? Yeah. Does she learn to act and fit in with the rich kids as to not get a letter sent to her mom? Also yeah.

Enid already went to the camp a year before and came back alot more physically active, so with high hopes, Esther sends her back a second time.

Wednesday notes of while Enid easily talks and chats with the rich kids, she doesn't sit with them on the tables nor does she chitter about gossip. Enid is just there, trailing. Then there are times, in the dark of nights Wednesday will feel the familiar chill of danger and wake up to yellow eyes opening the door.

She knows it's Enid.

Can you blame her for prodding? It's not like Wednesday has much to do and so she questions Enid's existence. She wonders why she doesn't go to the front of the group or where does she go out at night.

Enid, frustrated at her lack of progress gets into an arguement abt how it's none of Wednesday's business and they get sent to the shack.

Wabam, Wednesday who's an nerd abt werewolves points that Enid is one when she sees a fang poking out from her teeth.

She also basically states the obvious that bc Enid is a werewolf, wtf is she doin playing nice to girls who don't value her: don't you just want to go apeshit?

Enid who is already done with the weird girl, mentions the self preservation in her: I don't want an ass whooping from my mom

Wednesday, with the wisdom of a troublemaker: don't get caught then, coward

Enid, a competitive mfka: BET

So that's how a friendship came to be. The two being Lil shits to the people in camp chippewa. Enid and pugsley meet, they shake hands and proceed to start brawling against each other.

Fun times.

Until Wednesday needs to leave in the dark of night for her uncle and Enid has always craved freedom, can you blame her for tearing open the bars with her claws? Just for the girl that takes her breath and lightens the load on her shoulders?

Sadly they don't get too far and gets caught.

It's not just the normie camp leaders there, but the werewolf ones too.

So Enid gets dragged away to be interrogated because they saw the damage to the wires and no normie can do that. Enid expects scorn, to be sent home, instead she sees the bright grins and encouragement.

"yes!" one would cheer. "this is what a wolf is, to do anything for pack."

A hand on is on her shoulder and the girl is tight when they speak. "she is the one, I'm telling you. Do not let her out of your sights Enid, else you will become nothing."

Here's the thing, while camp chippewa is an under the table werewolf camp, it's lowkey a scam. Yes there are werewolves but their blood is so diluted that they couldn't even shift. The only thing that makes them a werewolf is the fangs and that's it.

The two leaders? Fanatics. They do not have the traits that Enid wish but they hear the call for more. For the moon and the grass and to run amongst the trees. To see Enid embracing this part of her is amazing in their eyes and so they start nurting this bud of possession.

"to think that you're finally becoming the werewolf you should be. " they call out happily. "it's that Wednesday girl that brought this out right?"

" it's almost like she's your moon," they swoon.

Anyways that's my brain rot for now

#Wenclair #Au thoughts #writing #Not canon to any au rn #Just came into mind

[fecto-forgo]

Not sure if its a genuine question but if it is oh boy oh boy i get to be the one to tell you :D yeah american schools have been phasing out pencils since i was in high school (i graduated 10 years ago) in stores and stuff the stationary sections are just getting smaller to the point where if you want materials you almost have to go to a specialty store. even before covid it was causing problems where poor families who couldnt afford computers were struggling and its basically keeping some of our libraries afloat (im sure this has nothing at all to do with why rich folks in power want to destroy all libraries /sarcasm) but also because kids are assumed to have grown up with modern tech they also dont teach kids how to use them anymore. leading to slow typing speed and poor online safety skills among others. also because its all online schools and teachers feel justified to make more homework (busy work) because its not a tangible physical thing to keep them in check anymore, theres no "stacks" just digital "files" (although that part has always been not great anyway). i dont know HOW bad its gotten specifically (there arent any kids in my family that im close to) but even then the end results are pretty obvious

what the fuck bc i literally found ppl talking abt this in that post abt linux everyones using to ego rub they know more than literal children.the fact ppls reactions to "kids now struggle with typing so much they cant write their papers fast enough" wasnt "why are computers mandatory if poor kids cant afford decent ones if any at all? why arent they being taught how to properly type by any adults in their lives? why has traditional writing been phased out?" but "oh my god these DUMB new children cant do anything 🙄 (unlike me)(im so smart)(i know more than a child does!)" is so.is actually very typical for this website actually that makes sense anyways WHAT THE FUCK

#ask

[sadsoftserve]

Just start talking and don't stop until I have a whole novel to read about your OC's ok?

Uhh, a novel? I can write a couple paragraphs.

You said just dump, so imma dump abt their lore and baskstories character by character.

Starting with Bonnie- She lives with her uncle after her mother passed, and her father wants nothing to do with her (rn that is) so Ramsey was the only other available family member she could live with. Now, the city didn't want her to live with him, for obvious reasons, but they didn't want a hooligan child in foster care. She's had a rough upbringing, so she's a fighter. She gets into a lot of fights, most of which she wins, and is currently on probation. Yes, probation. A 15 year old. So she was in the Sweet Jazz Student Correctional School, before she transferred to Sweet Jazz HS. So, as per her court mandated therapist said, she needed to join an extracurricular to keep her emotions in check and mind off of life. So she chose colorguard. (Because she gets a big flag to hit people with)

"Bonnie, you must be out of your damn mind." Ramsey sighed as he looked at her. The tension in the car was high, but he knew better than to raise his voice at a kid. Bonnie was sitting with her arms crossed and her face looking out the passenger side window.

"Look. I've tried to raise you the best I can. I know I'm not perfect. Hell I'm far from it." He rubbed his face as he spoke. He knew he was a terrible guardian. He was terrible with kids. He was terrible at being an adult.

"Am I a perfect parental figure? No."

"Do I know anything about children? No."

"Should I've picked up a book about parenting? Probably!" He said with exsauhstion as he sighed again. He looked at Bonnie, then to the ankle monitor she was wearing. "I just... want you to be safe. And not go down the same path I did." Looking at her ankle monitor brought up a lot of memories, he had pushed down. Memories he didn't want his niece to make. Bonnie looked up at him for a moment, then back in front of her.

"I'll try. No grauntee it'll work." She said softly. She wanted to change, but no matter how hard she tried it never worked.

"That's all you gotta do."

Sabrina- Her Epithet developed at age three, so for 12 years she hasn't been able to sleep. But for the most of her life, she found workarounds and remedies. But all those had stopped working. So, when Sylvie found out about the arsen amulet, she wanted it. She wanted to get rid or somehow aid her epithet into letting her sleep again. But the whole museum arc happened, and it was taken from her grasp. Her and Mera actually fought for the amulet, and Sabrina ended up breaking some of Meras bones in the process. Afterwards in the hospital, Sylvie for once apologized for everything, and Sabrina got to have a good cry.

"I'm sorry." Sylvie abruptly said, as he looked over to his younger sister who was currently fiddling with the light blue sheets of the hospital bed. "I should've known that they're were other people after it." He saw Sabrinas stiff shoulders and riggid breathing, she was crying.

She was so close to a solution, but it was just out of reach. She was going to be able to get what she had been craving for 12 years. But it was all in vain. She should've known better. None of this suffering would end. For once... She found herself sympathizing with the person who put her in this situation. She wanted the amulet for the same reason, but, that goal was unachievable. A sob came from her mouth.

"Sabrina?" Sylvie asked as he saw his younger sister cry. He couldn't help but feel bad, as if he could've done something different. But the only option right now, was to comfort her and tell her everything was okay. He walked over to her from his bed and climbed on hers, enveloping her in an embrace. One she hadn't had in what felt like forever.

Parker- Parker is Percys enteric and hyper niece. She has two perfectly alive and well parents. But then, why does she live with Percy? Well, Parkers parents don't know how to deal with her. She has ADHD and comes off as "too-hyper" or "an improper young lady". And Parkers aware of this. She knows her parents basically don't want her, but she doesn t mind. She loves living with her aunt. Percy is like her best friend, and she would call her mom more than her actual mom. Both are nerodivergent, and Parkers greatful for someone she can relate too. Though it still pains her that her parents gave her up to her aunt. Makes her feel like she doesn't belong anywhere she goes. Which is why she has trouble making friends.

Something was weighing on Parkers mind. For the last 4 years she's been living with her aunt, but she was never given ex explanation as to why. She never learned why her parents suddenly sent to to live with Percy, who was admittedly the black sheep of the family.

Percy noticed her nieces silence. It was unusual, especially for Parker. Percy looked at her, and noticed her sadder expression. "Parker." Percys monotone voice struck Parker like a lighting bolt. She looked up, giving Percy her attention. "What's wrong?" Percys monotone voice always made it hard for Parker to lie, her voice could be scary.

"Just thinking." Parker responded as she looked to her feet.

"About what?" Percy asked in response. She was going to get an answer out of her no matter what.

Parker stayed silent for a moment, trying to word what she was thinking. It was bad enough Percys monotone was freaking her out right now, but what if her question was shot down and ignored? Parker spoke with hesitance. "Why... was I sent to live with you? Did... did they not want me..?" Her voice was hurt, and insecure.

Percy looked at her niece, and gave a sympathetic smile. "No, that's not the reason." Percy put a reassuring hand on Parkers shoulder. "They didn't know how to take care of you." Percy paused as she analyzed Parkers facial expression. "They wanted you to live with somebody who knows how to care for you, and everything about you." Percy saw Parkers face look up then down again.

"Why didn't they tell me that then?" Parker asked, as she fiddled with the hem of her blue jacket.

"They didn't know how. And they didn't want you to think they didn't love you, because they do, they just don't know how to express it."

#a added minjfics #also #bh6 reference?? #epithet erased #ee #epithet erased prison of plastic #art #artists on tumblr #percy epithet erased #ramsey murdoch #oc #ramsey epithet erased #Parker king (oc) #Bonnie Murdoch (oc) #Sabrina Ashling (oc) #oc lore #ee oc #asks #anon asks #ASKS ARE ALWAYS OPEN

[youngyoo-apologist]

Writing fanfic with like 90% of the plot already planned is so funny but also so painful because every time there’s a mystery I purposefully put into the story as something that will be foreshadowed to revealed and revealed later in just praying people don’t think its a plot hole.

Like for example, the timeline OG Cale and Choi Han living in being different from TBoaH with some similarities. (The major differences being that Lily Henituse is alive, and while the rest of the continent took a pretty hard hit with the war, the Roan Kingdom managed to rebuild some of itself later in the war) , this one is so important because like, things aren’t supposed to be that way! I didn’t change canon for no reason! That happened for a reason! Guys! I swear!

Same thing with like KRS and OG Cale being able to hear eachother since they were young through their dreams, like that also has a reasoning behind it I promiseeee guys I swear😭😭 it’s like my biggest irrational fear that people will think that I’m just doing these things with nothing to back them up even though I know I shouldn’t rlly think abt it too much and just write the story like I intended 😭😭

I feel like a part of writing fanfic, especially LCF fanfic that makes me so nervous is the fact that canon is already and established and really well written universe. If things change, I feel like I need to make it OBVIOUS that they changed on purpose and not cause I’m changing things for the sake of changing them.

Sometimes I re read older chapters and go “wow, the delivery of this line sucked! I should re-write that slightly” because I’ve gotten better at phrasing things but WHAT IF ITS TOO LATEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 when I don’t have a limited vocabulary anymore it’s going to be the day I write something real good

Like I’m reading the early chaoters of [In the Borderline] and it’s like, FUCK some of these things just look like a dues ex machina even though they have reasons behind them.

I think a huge part of it is because of the wording, and how sudden everything is, I should have emphasized the characters confusion to these things to as a way to show that yes, things are off, BUT I DIDNT BECAUSE WHEN I WAS WRITING I FORGOT TO PROOF READ 😭😭😭😭 AND NOW ITS TOO LATEEE

Idk I’m just saying stuff at this point, but I guess my point is for a story like lcf, I want my fanfic to be something good becauee I really love lcf. I want to be able to write a story that shows how much I love the characters and things I want to see happening, but without erasing importance of characters or anything from TCF because I firmly believe that KRS is important no matter what.

There are things I will never change, like KRS being the one to name Raon, KRS being the children averaging whatever years old’s father, KRS having the silver shield(cause I think that’s like THE ancient power that represents him, that and Vitality of the Heart)

In a regression fic like [In the Borderline], where the time line has diverged so much, and in general is a fic that plays the long game when it comes to plot points, I just want it to be clear that everything happens for a reason and that I’ll never change KRS’s importance to the story, cause in that fic, OG Cale and KRS are both so important.

Choi Han too but he’s like, supposed to be cool and mysterious rn I can’t reveal too much abt him and TBoaH and why the world Cale and Choi Han lived in has so many differences from TboaH novel

#rambling #im just talking abt thoughts and feelings I have while writing my fic #and like my woes as a author #I know I shouldn’t care too much #but I just think abt it yknow #cause like I don’t play abt series I like #I love tcf #and I love KRS #and I love OG Cale #and I love Choi Han #and I love all the tcf characters except the ones I dont love #KRS is such an important character to me and I’m so worried that it’s going to come off as him not being as important as OG Cale #when that’s so not the case #it’s just taking so long to get to the cataclysm because the story starts off when the regression goes back to Cale and KRS being 14 #instead of 18 like it is in canon #WHICH ALSO HAPPENS FOR A REASON BTW #I should draw KRS #I miss him #sometimes he stresses me out and makes me feel like I’m going to cough out blood and grow gray hairs #because he never tells anyone anything #LIKE HIS HEALONG POWER #KIM ROKSOO PLEASE TELL SOMEONE ABOUT VITALITY OF THE HEART IM ACTUALLY LOSING IT #but I still love him #he’s such a good character #he’s also very hard to write and every day I hope I’m not making him ooc #on accident

[gayleviticus]

not doing a 'ed and al failed when they tried to perform human transmutation. but did you know there's an even more powerful alchemist out there who managed to resurrect himself from the dead?' youth pastor moment here but something ive been thinking abt re fullmetal alchemist 2003 is the biblical Book of Job. (ofc cw christianity/religion)

There's a common thread throughout the Bible that views disaster and misfortune as a punishment for sin - the plagues sent upon Egypt; the plague sent upon Israel because of King David's error; and most significantly, the extremely traumatic exile and captivity of Israel, God's chosen people, because they oppressed the poor and engaged in idolatry. We also see more generally in Deuteronomy blessings promised for keeping God's Law and curses threatened for breaking it, and lots of Proverbs speaks about the ruin that inevitable comes to the wicked and foolish. And of course, in the Christian New Testament, Revelation promises a judgment of the world and wickedness at the apocalypse.

This kind of viewpoint is probably something we associate fairly often w religion (and not just organised religion - new agey law of attraction type stuff is not a radically different concept). Goodness is rewarded, evil is punished. A kind of equivalent exchange concerned primarily with ethics rather than 'hard work' as such, but even then they're not that disconnected; we do, after all, view diligence as a virtue and laziness as a vice.

Now, I don't think this is an inherently 100% wrong notion. The idea that goodness should be rewarded and evil punished is a sympathetic one, and to a certain extent it's true; often being an asshole ends up alienating everyone and making them hate you, and arguably on a mass-scale we see the self-devouring consequences of evil in the way ruthless oppressive capitalism is destroying the world through climate change.

But if we take this notion of divine judgment or karma or equivalent exchange as absolute… well, we end up with some extremely nasty ideas. AIDS was God's punishment on sinful homosexuals, or cancer is a consequence of not praying/believing/thinking positive thoughts enough. Poor people deserve their poverty because they didn't work hard enough and the rich deserve their wealth to do with as they please because it's a divine blessing. If we believe in a rigid one to one correlation between action and consequence then we can't avoid the unfortunate conclusion that victims of war and murder and genocide actually had it coming to them for their sins.

fortunately the Bible isn't absolute on the topic. It has voices that offer a more nuanced, alternative take. One of the most obvious is Jesus, literally God who was executed as a common criminal. Did he deserve to die? Was it a punishment for his sins? No, of course not. So if God himself can get brutally murdered by the state's 'justice' that puts a huge hole in a nice, straightforward theory of 'bad things only happen to bad people'.

But another big example is the Book of Job, which is essentially just the story of Job, a very upstanding guy who loses everything - children, property, his health. And so naturally, when his friends come to visit to comfort him, they assume, of course, that this is some kind of punishment for his sins and that he needs to ask God for forgiveness. Job is adamant he's done nothing wrong, but his friends continue to insist that these things happen for a reason.

Eventually God himself appears, and Job demands an answer - which God refuses, instead displaying his tremendous, terrifying power to argue Job as a mere mortal has no right to argue with him. But crucially, in the end, God states that only Job - who maintained his own righteoussness, and rejected the logic of suffering as punishment, all while refusing to curse God - spoke rightly of him, not his friends. In the end Job is given no clear-cut answer to why he has suffered so, but he is restored to full health and prosperity, and his innocence is vindicated.

so i guess to me fma 03 feels like a similar kind of take to Job, cutting against the grain. It goes into the depths of misfortune and suffering to question a naive, childish notion of equivalent exchange - but also, to find what's valuable in it and preserve it. Equivalent exchange as a way of rejecting reality - or as a pious fiction to constrain and capture the terrifying reality of God - is a lie, but the Elrics find value in it as a driving ethical ideal, and Job maintains that fundamentally the misfortune that has befallen him is not fair.

Neither work descends to cynicism either. Their conclusion is not that life is cruel and capricious and therefore meaningless, but I think actually the opposite; their rejection of absolute equivalent exchange is a compassionate move rejecting the cruel logic that people who suffer had it coming, while also arguing that tragedy doesn't have to mean despair. They're grim, perhaps, but not for the sake of revelling and indulging in it but because sometimes grimness is a necessary antidote to toxic positivity.

Ed and Job's friends also share a similar kind of spiritual sloth I think - a clinging to certain ideas because it makes the world a more palatable place, regardless of the implications or consequences. Ultimately there is comfort in facing the truth and understanding there is no magical defence against sickness and poverty and war and loss - but it can be terrifying too for those who would rather ignore it.

#fma 03 #fma 2003 #fma 03 meta #fma #cw religion #cw christianity #i feel like this is simultaneously really obvious and not worth talking about and also a really bizarre and weird stretch lol

[garfieldsladybird]

HIHI BABY I HAVE A QUESTION SINCE I CANT OPEN OUTSIDE LINKS OF TUMBLR

what did harry styles do?? (i hate his fans so im even more curious why hes problematic)

i’m doing this because some people really don’t know what he has done, not only you, and I fucking hate him so why the fuck not :D i’m also copying what the Twitter post thread is saying.

a note to h.s stans; I don’t care if you follow, I may or may not follow. I won’t care abt any of the posts or anything you say abt him, just please don’t try to make me a stan of him, i dont like him, he has great music yes but I do not support him.

TW // Pedophilia, talk of SA, him being racist and sexiest.

 Harry retweeted a picture of himself in digitized blackface with other edits that mocks black culture. He never acknowledged or apologized for the issue even though people called him out.

Harry appropriated the Native American culture by posing in a native headdress and putting up a picture of himself in it on his social media. People called him out for cultural appropriation but again, he never apologized.

Harry actively participated in slut shaming Kendall Jenner (his ex) with two other men on national TV. The "lay everyday" was an obvious innuendo to sex and Harry sips "tea" (as if to say "tell me about it")and smirks at the sexist joke instead of defending the woman. — oh god. that was with Aaron Taylor Johnson too. 

Harry made an extremely insensitive "joke" about pedophilia at the expense of his fans, a group of predominantly young women who might've been a victim/survivor themselves is just disgusting. He never apologized. His team even tried to erase the video off the internet.

in the video he’s talking about Roy Moore who has been accused of sexually assaulting women and I think that’s why he’s not a judge anymore, he’s a piece of shit. but Harry was saying that he does ‘know’ Moore cuz he’s had to kick him out of his concerts multiple times before. that’s fucked up to say.

Harry chose to completely ignore BLM flags that fans took to his concerts and even stepped on them in 2017. He didn't acknowledge his black fans who were disappointed for a year and did it only after getting heavy media backlash.

And Immediately after ignoring BLM, he gave this ALM speech which raises a lot of questions. That is why the context of this speech is very important which people often tend to ignore or forget. in the video he’s just saying that if you are black, white, gay, straight, anything, he will support you.

In 2020, Harry decided to perform at the NFL Pepsi Super bowl party. Both the NFL and Pepsi are known to be racist and Harry's decision to perform there contradicts his claim to support BLM. His black fans requested him to back out and trended #harrybackout but they were ignored.

Harry Styles branded the link to donation for George Floyd. Basically it takes you through his own website before redirecting to the main link.This was done to track his engagements and data mine for marketing. To use a black man's mu*der for purposes of profit is just disgusting.

All of that ties in with this extremely privileged take on activism by Harry himself. This means all the rainbow flag waving, pride merch and BLM stickers are nothing but props for pandering to people. Its all performative. He doesn't "mean it" but loves the woke points & profits.



Harry has been known to be a big fan of Charles Bukowski (a misogynist) and always glorifies him. He called it "romantic" even though most of Bukowski's work is misogynistic and sexist. Harry also loves Haruki Murakami who is also criticized for his sexist work. It's a pattern.

His album is inspired by Bukowski and it reflects in the lyrics. The lyrics contain misogynistic tropes, often sexist and objectifying women. There are also other problematic references like "hard candy" and cocaine/drug use. For the same song Kiwi, he made a mv with children.

In his song, Carolina which Harry describes as being about a girl he met once on a night out, he explicitly name drops her WITHOUT her consent and she only finds out about it through TV after the album came out. She was also harassed by fans causing her to delete her social media. — in the pictures that they’re showing with this, The articles are saying that she was 17 but someone was trying to change it to 20 because he was 23 at the time.

Harry is a big fan of Elvis Presley and glorifies him. He was also running for being cast to play Elvis in his biopic. He said he didn't find anything disappointing about his life even though Elvis is known as a pedophile. — I will forever be happy that he does not get to play Elvis in that movie but I’m also super pissed that they’re making a fucking movie about him.

There are so much more that he has done that I didn’t mention because he is just problematic and that is way too much. But Harry has never apologized or even aknowledged anything.

#harry styles #garfield answers 🦖

[watermelinoe]

hilarious about trying to shift a dead latino kids joke onto "america is bad"......like the condition of latin america had nothing to do with spain, the op's country. like dude this involves you. try to ignore 1492-1900 entire years of colonial oppression like it doesn't very much involve you. britain would never have borne its demon child if not for spanish competition. everything in this hemisphere involves spain. dude.

okay tbf no one specifically joked abt dead latin@ kids, i brought it up bc several of the women digging their heels in abt school shooting jokes are white, and race was actually a big part of the conversation after the texas school shooting. so was misogyny, at least on radblr. (or is that also funny when it happens in the states?) but yeah can i maybe get a little class awareness is all i'm asking here.

mainly i think many of the women who've dug their heels in are being disingenuous. the original post that ppl were upset at was never about cartels or w/e else is being said now. the original post ppl commented on was like "people make school shooting jokes because usamericans have no other culture to make fun of." how did we get from there to "usamerican weed culture fuels cartels?" like it's obvious some of you just want to say edgy shit and are only now acting like there's some big moral lesson behind it bc you got pushback

so just say how you actually feel, that "the usa is an oppressive shithole country to its own citizens and every other country on the planet, so it's funny when children born there get gunned down," instead of insisting none of us on here could possibly care about latam issues. and it's just especially wild seeing some of this coming from women i know are spanish. (obv not every hispanic woman jumping in is white, but i'm still rolling my eyes anyway at this green eggs and ham game of "when is it okay to laugh at massacred schoolchildren"). you're allowed to feel that way if you want and i'm allowed to say cracking jokes about it is weirdo behavior. usamerican schoolkids are probably not the biggest oppressors of foreign nations, and especially not the ones who will never become adults :/

anyway i posted abt this years ago but there's a really heartbreaking female-directed mexican documentary i watched in college that talks about cartels that's called tempestad, i haven't been able to find a place to watch it again but i recommend it. maybe if you had a vpn set to mexico one of those spanish film sites would let you stream it? i remember thinking it was quite good, definitely sad.

#answered #long post

[moving-wright-along]

babysitting

"No, Y/N. Absolutely not."

"Tim! Come on, please. He's the easiest kid to look after and it's only for a few hours!"

"...I'm no good with kids. You know that."

"He already loves you, Tim. Look, I'd much rather spend my Saturday with my son than at work, but I need the extra money right now."

"Why do you suddenly need extra cash?"

Aaaand that's where you realize you've messed up. You love Tim, you do. But lord, that man has a tendency to overreact.

"....Nothing."

"Y/N..." Tim said, his voice low and threatening.

"...My landlord raised my rent again."

"Again?!"

"Tim!" You called, trying to halt his rage in its tracks. "It's- It's okay. After this paycheck I can start looking for a cheaper place. But right now I really just need help... Please just watch him for a few hours."

Tim huffed, digging the toe of his steel boots into the ground outside your home. He didn’t mind that you had a kid already before meeting him. It was never a problem. You loved Tim despite his problems and his, um, career, and that’s all he could want. But fuck. Something about watching your kid- in your house while you’re not even home- it was way too intimate. Like this was the next step in your relationship, and Tim had no idea if he was ready for that yet. Hell- he was half tempted to call up Hoodie- Brian was probably way better with kids than he is. Or fuck, maybe even Toby would be a better person to watch your son. Or maybe he should just go murder your landlord so it’s not a problem anymore. 

“Fine.” He growls before he can give himself enough time to chicken out. 

“Oh- thank you, Tim! Thank you.” You rushed forward and hugged him, and he grumbled something about you owing him into your shoulder. 

“You’ll be fine. Just set him up with his coloring books and a movie and he’ll be occupied all day. There’s sandwich stuff in the fridge for lunch and goldfish in the pantry if he wants a snack.” 

“Okay.. okay.” Tim mumbles as you unload information at him. Moreso for his own comfort than for yours. 

The next few minutes go by way to fast. You’re dressed and ready for work within a minute, and Tim watches awkwardly from the doorway as you scoop up your son- kissing him on the face and telling him to be good before you were suddenly gone, leaving Tim totally alone with a 4 year old. 

Somewhere along the way, Tim had convinced himself that he was much too dangerous to be around your son. A bad influence, irresponsible, negligent, any label he could tack onto himself to convince you he was just no good. However, despite his anxieties around your child, your kid unabashedly adored Tim, and it was clear that Tim had a soft spot for him since the beginning. Even when he was still hiding behind his mask. 

You trust Tim wholeheartedly. Enough so that you left your phone in your locker for the day. 

Skip forward a few hours, and you unlock your phone to find 37 text messages. All from Tim. 

Masky ❤ (10:37): What does he mean when he says fishy??? Masky ❤ (10:39): oh okay he meant Nemo. Masky ❤ (10:51): Does he know this entire movie by heart??? what are you teaching him  Masky ❤ (11:01): wait what time should i give him lunch?  Masky ❤ (11:06): he drew me a picture and im not going to lie to you y/n.  Masky ❤ (11:06): i almost cried. dont tell anyone that. Masky ❤ (11:21): okay he’s eating lunch now.  Masky ❤ (11:30): is the guy in the picture by the tv his dad? he looks like an asshole.  Masky ❤ (11:47): is he small for his age? he’s just so tiny.  Masky ❤ (11:54): he thinks its really funny how much bigger my hands are than his.  Masky ❤ (1:21) he wants to watch the grinch? it’s summer.  Masky ❤ (2:21): how many is too many cookies for a snack?  Masky ❤ (2:26): ...six is probably too many, right?  Masky ❤ (3:47): Y/N! WHAT THE FUCK

You find the initial messages adorable, and you’re honestly grateful for them. It was nice to know what Tim was thinking and how things were going. Until you reached the final message, of course. You knew everything was probably okay, but seeing Tim suddenly shouting your name and cursing before going radio silent was unnerving. 

You made your way home as quickly as you legally could, and pushed past your front door. 

“Tim?” 

Your living room was littered with colored on printer paper and scattered crayons. Two plates, abandoned since lunch. And of course, your boyfriend, sitting on the couch and cradling your child as he slept. 

“Tim?” You called out again, confused. “What’s happening?” 

“He... Called me dad. Earlier.”

“He did? Oh gosh- I’m sorry-”

“Y/N.” Tim says seriously, cutting off your apology, his eyes dark. “I would kill for this child.”

“Thank you. Please don’t.” 

#is it obvious that i know nothing abt children because #mh #marble hornets #tim wright #my writing #tim wright x reader #masky x reader

[hugheshugs]

treat it like a high school crush | q. hughes

inspired by johnny orlando's "you're just drunk."

prompt list

join my taglist !

prompt: #57 — "call me in the morning.. when you're sober."

summary: your friends on the team force you to have a much needed conversation with quinn. the catch; he's drunk.

tw: alcohol/drunk character

pairing: drunk!quinn x reader

word count: 2.4k

taglist: @heatabovejakey @idfan21 @boeswhore @huggycelia @drei-mrssvechii @thescooby-gang

note: idk how i feel abt this one

you know it.

he knows it.

his friends know it.

everyone knows it.

it isn't a surprise they all realized it. it's partially your fault but you don't care. you blame it on the fact that you aren't very well at hiding things, your crush on quinn being one of them. even so, you have no shame in admitting you have a soft spot for a certain number 43.

it didn't take long for them to figure it out either, your liking towards him being so blatantly obvious that even a one eyed giraffe could see it.

you aren't spared by their teasings in the slightest, quinn included. he tells you he doesn't know how he feels about you yet but he likes making you happy and poking fun at you sometimes. he clearly doesn't have bad intentions and it thrills you to no end.

you just feel bad that he says he isn't sure about his feelings. are you doing something wrong? you don't feel good enough for him and you know you aren't. if you were good enough, he'd like you and he'd know it — which apparently he doesn't, and that's confirmation enough.

one day, you overhear quinn telling nils that he doesn't like you back. the lies you're being fed make you feel foolish and naïve, and you want nothing more than to hear the truth from him. he doesn't know you know about this but most of your friends on the team do and they feel for you.

since then, you've been trying to distance yourself from him. a reason why you find yourself here, hanging out with a bunch of five year olds.

"ahh how's miss. hughes doin' over here?"

you look up from the kids' colouring table and see brock hovering over you. you sit with some kids at jt miller's daughter's birthday party, colouring away and minding your business.

you don't drink and you aren't very good friends with the other girls so you decided to come to the kids instead. you felt more in your element, the plastic lavender table and chair set calling your name.

"i'm just colouring a bear," you say, continuing to shade in the nose with a crayon.

"how on brand," brock smirks.

you blush. "may or may not be why i chose it.."

"we gotta show huggy," he insists, crouching down to your level.

"no, we are not showing hugs. what are you doing here, anyway?" you ask, turning towards him and lowering your crayon.

"no one has seen you for hours. we were all wondering where you went, just didn't expect you to be here," he informs, ducking as a plushy is thrown his way.

"oh, i didn't think anyone would care," you frown, confused by his words.

"why would we not?"

you don't know how to reply so you simply shrug and go back to your bear. a couple footsteps enter the room but you keep your head down.

"how's she doing?"

"she's heartbroken," you hear brock say, kneeling to your level.

you look up to see miller, petey and garly walking into the room, and you assume brock is talking about you.

your eyebrows crease. "what are you talking about?"

"you think we haven't noticed you moping around like a lost puppy because quinn doesn't like you back?" miller sighs, taking a seat on the chair across from you.

you ignore him and cover your mouth, laughing at how funny he looks — a 6 foot tall man trying to sit at a children's table for you.

"lost bear," petey corrects, resulting in a sharp hit in the stomach by conor's elbow.

"what kind of friends would we be if we didn't notice?" he adds right after, the guys taking a seat around the now empty table.

great, they scared the kids away, you think to yourself as you see them all run out of the room.

you dread having a conversation with the boys. you know exactly where this is going to go. they're going to say all the right things, soften the hard shell you're putting up and make you crack. by the end of the talk you're going to be crying into brock's shoulder after having told them about all the unfortunate emotions your mind's been forcing you to feel.

"what's wrong, kid? we're here for you, you know that," miller asks almost parentally.

"i'm not a kid," you grumble, staring back down at the bear on the table.

petey snorts, resulting in another blow to the stomach.

"says the 20 year old girl sitting at a children's table and colouring a teddy bear," he ignores conor and comments.

you huff and cross your arms. "why is he even here? he's hugs' best friend, he's not on my side!"

"there aren't sides to this, angel," conor shakes his head and you glare at him knowing he's right. "we're all still your friends, we want what's best for you."

"what's best for me is that you go away and leave me alone," you mutter, the coloured bear now starting to irritate you after petey's comment.

you don't want to break in front of them but you feel it coming. the blood in your body rushes and your heart begins to thump against your chest, slowly yet aggressively.

"tell us how you feel, we won't judge. we just wanna help," brock encourages from beside you.

you close your eyes and sigh, leaning on your elbows and putting your head in your hands. you don't just tell your friends you feel unloved and unlovable. you don't just tell them you think you're going to die alone and that you know you aren't even good enough for yourself, those aren't just things you pour out to someone because they ask.

tears well up in your eyes and you remove your hands from your face, leaning back in your seat and keeping your gaze set on the bear in front of you.

"everything that's wrong with me has nothing to do with quinn. just drop it and leave me alone, please," you beg shakily and pick up a pencil.

"if you think that's going to make us leave, you couldn't be more wrong," miller says concerned.

you chew on the skin of your bottom lip. "i hate you guys."

knowing you're about to confide in them, they let your comment slide and stay silent.

"i don't think i've ever felt more alone than i do now. i don't think i've ever hated myself more than i do right now," you say slowly, holding the image of the bear in your hands.

"i feel like everyone— like you guys, are going to grow old with your happy families and i'm going to be here. i'm going to be here by myself, probably taking life day by day like i am now, with no one to care for me. not even myself," you confess finally. "is that what you wanted to hear?"

after hearing your words, they don't know what to say. you spoke without hesitation so you missed the silent tears streaming down your face and they see how broken really you are. feeling alone is something most people face, these boys being no exception. they understand how you feel and their hearts ache for you, harder than before.

"why didn't you tell us?" petey asks, breaking the silence.

"because that isn't just something you fucking tell people out of nowhere—" your voice cracks and you stop yourself.

frustration takes control of your mind and you snap, crushing the paper in your hands and throwing the stupid bear across the room. all your worries and doubts that had once been dancing on the edge of a cliff suddenly take the fall and you break down in front of the guys, like you knew you would.

you don't even have anything to say. you just cry, all your bottled up emotions reaching the brim and overflowing. brock pulls you into his chest and you sob, your trembling figure paining their sore eyes.

"why's she crying?"

you don't hear the voice through your cries but the men around you turn to glare at the boy who just walked into the room — the boy you want to see the least.

if you'd known he's watching, you'd stop whatever's going on with you immediately — but you don't. you don't know he's standing in the middle of the room, looking at you in concern. you don't know petey's trying to get him to leave but he keeps refusing.

it's when your cries come to a halt and your tears turn into sniffles that you feel an unwanted presence in the room. hearing quinn's voice for a split second, you shy away and keep your head buried in brock's neck, not wanting to face the boy you know is here.

people say that a good cry, that letting your emotions out are supposed to make you feel good, but you don't feel good at all. you only feel worse. you feel stupid and innocent, upset that you're so easy to break.

"i think you both need to have a good conversation," miller puts on his dad voice, standing up and comedically pushing quinn into the short plastic seat in front of you.

brock pulls away and gives you a reassuring smile. you feel bad that he was on his knees that entire time, internally cringing as he stands up to his full height and winces. you reach up to grab his finger and utter a small 'thank you' to him, receiving a nod and another smile in response.

"i don't wanna see you both leave this room until you've fixed whatever's broken," conor tells you both.

"which is basically everything," petey adds smartly before they all rush out, leaving you and quinn in an uncomfortable silence.

you try not to look at him but he lets out a weird noise and you can't help but bring your gaze towards him. you notice his head hanging down and scrunch your nose.

"are y-you okay?" you ask quietly. his head jerks up and your mouth parts at his glossy eyes and open lips.

he's drunk.

great, you think. they left you with a drunk quinn.

"wha.. 'm fine," he says quietly, rubbing his eyes. "you.. you're not."

your eyes crinkle and your wipe your wet cheeks. "huh?"

"you aren't.. fine. you aren't fine," he repeats.

"yes i am," you say coarsely, crossing your arms.

he shakes his head aggressively. "no you're not! you were jus'- jus' crying 'n your eyes are red."

"it doesn't matter—"

"can we cuddle?" he cuts you off and you nearly pass out.

"what?" you ask in disbelief. how did he change the conversation that quickly? drunk people.

"cuddle, i wan' cuddle," he replies, grabbing one of the crayons in front of you and snapping it in half.

"hey! why'd you do that?" you shout, reaching over to grab the two pieces out of his hands.

he shrugs, leaning backwards and almost falling over in his seat. your eyes widen as he mutters a string of curses and holds his arms out for you. you use all your force to pull him back up and glare at him when he sits upright.

"stop lookin'.. at me like that," he murmurs, a hiccup slowing him down.

"i should have let you fall. we're only like a foot above the ground," you huff at him.

"fine," he says before leaning back again and falling to the ground. his head hits the back of the plastic chair and he groans, clutching his skull.

"oh, fuck!" he groans in pain. your eyes bulge and you stand up from your seat, walking towards him and crouching down by his figure.

"are you okay?" you ask, sitting on your knees. he maneuvers his head into your lap and looks up at you.

"if i don't make it.. tell y/n i love her," he says dramatically, eyelashes fluttering.

you want to laugh at his acting but your heart sinks to your stomach and your throat runs dry.

"what?" you pretend you didn't hear him.

"y/n, tell y/n i love her," he repeats a little softer, his eyes moving around your face and inspecting every inch. "you look a little like her."

you shake your head, not believing his words one bit.

"you're just drunk," you tell him and he doesn't reply. "y/n? you don't like her.."

he doesn't like you, let alone love you. you heard it yourself, he said it himself. you look down at him, replacing his hands on his head with your own.

he rests his hands on his diaphragm and sighs. "yes i do. she's pretty 'n funny 'n the shweetesht girl ever."

you find his slurred words and slow talking very amusing. you'd be laughing if you weren't so confused.

"no you don't," you tell him. he's drunk and confused. you don't know why you're wasting your time trying to tell him he doesn't like you but there really isn't anything else for you to say.

"why do you think that?" he asks as you rub his injury. he gives you a funny smile and tries leaning into your hand, a grin making its way onto your face as well.

"i don't think it, i know it. you've said it before, hugs," you inform him as you lift his head up and stretch your legs out in front of you, placing his head back on top of your thighs.

"i don't know who you are or where.. where you're getting that from but- but i love her, i know i do," he argues, his eyes trying to close on him.

you notice his movements slowing and so does his breathing. you play with his hair, and he hums in approval. you stay quiet as your heart thumps against your chest, a response to his words and his head in your lap. the closeness makes your stomach erupt with butterflies.

"you tired?" you ask quietly.

"mhm," he nods, a cute yawn escaping his lips.

"go to sleep, it's okay," you lull, mentally preparing yourself to sit in this position for hours.

"you'll be here when i wake up?" he asks quickly, fright taking over.

your face softens. "yes, i promise."

"good. i know it's you, y/n," he mumbles, turning onto his side.

your mouth parts and you don't know what to say. he probably won't remember any of this by sunrise.

"call me in the morning.. when you're sober," you whisper, his eyes finally shutting.

"i will," you hear him say sleepily.

you know he won't. he'll forget this even happened but still, you treat it like a high school crush and hope that he might just mean what he said, ignoring the fact that you know it's so far from the truth.

little do you realize, drunk words are sober thoughts, and he meant exactly what he said.

part two

#quinn hughes #canucks #vancouver canucks #quinn hughes imagine #nhl imagine #quinn #hughes #hughes imagine #imagine #canucks imagine

[cheesy09]

Cheesy~ Hi! i suddenly had this urge to brainrot abt Kiro's past and one thing that remains a mystery for me is his master, Key. I still have so many questions and know almost nothing abt him. If you don't mind, would you please tell me some facts & abt his relationship with Kiro? OH and this may sound stupid but is the master dead...?? SORRY IF THIS WAS TOO LONG Thank you for all your Kiro analysis!

Hi nony~ Hope you're having a good morning/evening wherever you are! ~ヾ(・ω・)

First of all, you're not alone - i always have the urge to brainrot about Kiro’s past and I too have a lot of questions about Key 😆 He’s probably one of the most mysterious NPC’s I’ve ever come across. And yeah, the fact of whether he’s dead or alive is also a mystery (Though it has been heavily implied that he’s dead). But here’s what we know about him:

He first appeared with Black Swan in the 1908 White House explosion - the moment when Evol, as well as the Queen Gene first appeared in this world. He was one of the twelve “Deities” of the organization.

In the Organization, Key was known as Helios, and he has the exact same appearance as the Helios we know and love today (which means he looks exactly like Kiro???)

Key and MC’s Dad knew each other and worked together. In Season 1, they were the ones who exposed the children kidnappings and illegal experimentation that happened at Twin Leaves Orphanage. In Season 2 though, although they know each other, their connection is very vague.

Key adopted Kiro and raised him because he saw in him a light that he didn’t see in any of the other children - A strong desire for the light. Quote: “When I first saw him, he was only five years old, thin and small, and looking like he wouldn’t live past a day. But there was a light in his eyes and so I took him away. I didn’t see wrong, that the child at that time who yearned for the light would gradually become a sun who could illuminate others.”

Key and Kiro had a father-son/teacher-student relationship. Key had a HUGE impact on Kiro’s life and taught him a lot about life and human nature. 

He was the one who gave Kiro his name, as well as his birthday. It was also hinted that he was the one who gave Kiro his first musical instrument.

He introduced Kiro to shadow technology and taught him how to hack in the digital world.

They both live by the motto “We stand in darkness as we defend the light.”

Kiro was the only one who knew of Key’s true personality - kind, cheerful, mischievous, fun-loving and wise. While on the surface he was cold, aloof, ruthless and indifferent.

For all of Kiro’s birthdays, Key would send a code/puzzle for Kiro to solve. It was like a birthday tradition for them.

Key disappeared when Kiro turned 15 for unknown reasons. The last time Kiro saw him was when Key dropped him off at the airport, when Kiro left for school in the States.

It’s rarely ever shown, but the times it is shown, it’s pretty obvious that Kiro misses Key A LOT.

Key left Kiro a mysterious code to decipher, and when he did, Kiro was lead to an abandoned building in Loveland City where he obtained “the key to opening a very important door” - A key that many people coveted, so Kiro couldn’t really trust anyone.

Key also gave Kiro a very important mission to fulfil - one that Kiro has been carrying out since the start of the story, and is also why he took over Black Swan as leader. (My guess is that it’s the New World Plan that was put on hold at the end of Season 1, but I’m not entirely sure).

So this is as much as I know. Also, thank you for reading my analysis, nony 🥺 And for the amazing ask. It truly means a lot!

#nony asks #cheesy replies #mlqc #mlqc kiro #mlqc helios #mlqc key

[nikethestatue]

So heres the thing that i found really confusing is why the hell some people call Az bonus chapter “uncomfortable and “ toxic”. The first time i read it i mean..that Elriel scene was hot 🥵🥵but toxic?? Thats the last thing i’d think of because u know why?? It is a freaking NA book.

For me the chapter compare to any other NA books i’ve read ( lj shen, rina kent, pen. douglas) is sooo vanilla like only the cherry on top. The antis do know right that now acotar being market into NA instead of YA so darker content is expected and there will be A LOT OF SEX, THINKING ABT SEX AND AT ONE POINT WILL DO SEX!!!

We’ve seen Elriel soft moment in the four books ( truth teller, “do u want me to show u the garden”, “i’’m getting her back atc..) like their feelings towards each other does not come from nowhere. Everything Azriel’s said or think abt is the same as what Nessian did in acosf.

For me in a NA book if two characters feel lust towards each other then that is a good thing like that what makes the book NA in the first place. Sjm wants to write abt Azriel kinky fuck thats why the crumbs that he’s a freak and Elain is aroused/ not a virgin were mentioned like if they would bang right away then its not surprising for the readers *cough*offer and permission *cough*. So the argument abt Az is toxic and etc makes me assume 3 things

1. They still in the YA zone

2. Their fantasy abt Az is diff from whats written in his chapter

3. Because it is Elriel

Your thoughts??

Hi,

I think I agree with all 3 points, but I also feel that the author herself has changed--she is older now, she is writing things that are different, and despite how people feel about ACOSF, she basically devoted an entire book to someone dealing with PTSD and self-hate. That's very different from TOG or even ACOTAR. Hence her writing would be different as well, and probably not as appropriate for the YA crowd. I don't like generalizing, but the majority of what *I* have seen out there, when it comes to Gwyn adoration, are younger women--teens, early 20s. Gwyn is a typical YA character--spunky, very young, determined and 'unburdened' by female characteristics, such as a family, children, running a household, cooking, taking care of life, taking care of others. What's the most common complaint about Feyre now? She is boring. All she does is stays home and is pregnant, and why did she have a baby at 21? and now she is a MILF. Perhaps, perhaps not, but she certainly isn't the spunky, adventurous 19 year old of ACOTAR. The YA crowd loves Gwyn, and it's understandable.

Elain is a more cerebral character. You already know that she is probably not going to swing a sword, which is great. Because there is a place for characters like that. But I think that's one of the reasons for the hate -- she is 'boring'. However, I think SJM wants to write characters like these now, because with them, she can explore a variety of different ideas, even what femininity is, how a non-fighting woman can make a difference--she already began that journey with Elain in previous books. Ultimately she writes books about her version of female-empowerment and the difference all women can make. She's written like 10 books with fighting females. Yet, some of her more interesting characters are people like Yarne and Elide and even like Amarantha and Maeve, because they don't rely on the swords, but mostly their knowledge, cunning, abilities.

I think sexually, SJM is also ready to explore other avenues. I don't see her writing the same as she did 7-10 years ago. I don't see her writing scenes like earthquakes and tumbling mountains and snapping palm trees when a male character orgasms. It's a little (a lot) ridiculous, but I feel like we'll see a lot more of Cassian-like sex, than Rhys.

I feel like what disturbed some readers, especially the younger ones in the POV, is the 'realness' of the thoughts. It wasn't 'prettified' with some fanciful language (btw, like the REST OF THE BOOK). Nothing at all different between Cassian and Azriel, both think of and ponder and want sex. But I feel like people, for some reason, aren't as emotionally invested in Cassian, or maybe he was always viewed as 'lusty'. Azriel is mysterious and less obvious, but suddenly reading purely sexual thoughts from him was a wakeup call. And thoughts about the 'boring' Elain and not the girl-boss Gwyn.

I think SJM wants to explore some more unconventional, 'weirder' sexual things with Az, and I simply don't think that he'll be doing that with a character like Gwyn. Not because of Gwyn, but of who identifies with her--teens, young adults.

Listen, for all I know, it might not even be Elriel--it might not be Elain and Az (though I highly doubt it), but it wont be Az and Gwyn either. Like, Az is NOT spanking or tying up Gwyn, and again, not because of Gwyn, but because of Az. Just yesterday I read some comment about someone arguing that maybe 'Gwyn is ready sexually' and all that. And I don't argue that, though I didn't see any indication of it in the books. But the question is, is Az ready? Because it takes two to tango. And it seems like everything revolves around Gwyn and her readiness in those canons. He is never mentioned--like he is just a stud put there to penetrate. But I don't see that interest or willingness in his character for her at all.

Let's remember that 'offer and permission' came from Elain. Elain willingly slept with Graysen before marriage. Elain has been putting gentle moves on Az. SHE is ready. He is ready.

I think it's definitely an amalgamation of things, but these will not be YA books going forward. And if the POV was so controversial, then yikes, I don't think that the actual book would be palatable for some readers.

#anon ask #anon response #pro elriel #elriel

[jesusology]

Haruka theory and thoughts under the read more! just me going through the MV and voicing aloud some thoughts, let me know what you guys think too! 

（*´▽｀*）also this is super long i

opening scene! the necklace is obviously important to him. also it’s very cute. nothing to say abt this in particular but i just think it’s really cute

love the background choice and how the room looks in general. gives me a big liminal space vibe. i promise i’m getting to actual theorizing in a second here just

love how the scenery from the window changes when it switches back and forth between him and his younger self (?). i’ve tried searching what the symbolism is of a red sky (if there is any) and i did see that it could mean “the end” or it could be symbolic of danger and what’s to come.

ugh i love the water thing going on. first off, i’m a huge sucker for water imagery and the like and so you KNOW i go gaga for this. it has to be because haruka feels like he’s constantly drowning, like he’s suffocating on his emotions. 

i’ve watched this MV at least fifty times and this still gets me upset. pretty obvious that what’s going on here is some form of emotional abuse as well as a co-dependence on Haruka’s part. Haruka clearly has a learning disability and it’s nothing he can control but the people in his life are blaming him for it and so he blames himself, too.

evidence of emotional abuse, being told things like how he’s pitiful or not smart, etc and of course Haruka is going to believe that hence why he’s always calling himself dumb and feeling like when he’s around others he’ll only make them sad because that’s exactly how it was for him at home. 

also like how the background is all gray and gloomy and there’s his childish scribbling of a monster (?) hovering over. could be symbolic of a threat to what’s his normal life, like it could end so suddenly

the world around Haruka is changing. his parents are changing (i’m assuming they’re divorced but i don’t think that’s ever made explicitly clear), he’s growing up, but he also feels exactly the same maturity wise. he may be increasing in age but he still is exactly the same and the change is unnerving to Haruka and it’s become noticeable to his parents that he’s not “growing up” and doing “normal” things. his learning disability is holding him back from becoming what’s so normal for society, what’s accepted in society. 

so he’s viewed as “weak”, it’s his ‘weakness’. and society eats the weak. 

i feel like Haruka’s parents (perhaps namely his mom)(or maybe it was both his mom and his dad but Haruka’s thinking more about his mom because he was closer to her) were becoming fed up with Haruka’s inability to learn what is supposed to be ~oh so natural~ and ~normal~ so they quickly began to get frustrated. also, that drawing behind Haruka appears later i think....

Haruka realizes and recognizes what’s going on and this, in turn, makes him have feelings of self-loathing. why can’t he do what anyone else can? why is everything around him so different but he’s the same? why is he getting taller, having more expectation placed upon him when it’s just too hard for him? Haruka is grappling with these thoughts constantly and it’s making him feel like he’s drowning and no one cares to pull him up out of the water.

i’m gonna be honest, i have no clue what to make of the girl with him at the fireworks but i DO know that the fireworks are really important to him because i recall him answering that it was his cherished memory and he goes on to say the most expensive thing he’s bought was cotton candy and i’ll venture to say that it was at this fireworks festival. 

i got nothing to add to this but i just love that line and it is important for you all to know this

are those yellow roses or marigolds? i’m thinking maybe they’re yellow roses which can mean either “jealousy” or “thinking of you” 

i could be going off a wrong assumption here, but hey this is all just guess-work anyway... did he accidentally push the girl? and it somehow led to her death or at the very least a severe injury? i’m willing to bet it was more of an injury than death, but even so. 

and if he DID push her, now it’s coming to light? like he did that, it was his fault (even if it was an accident, he would no doubt blame himself), and he’s a bad person who is only good for causing harm to others.

as someone who also sleeps with like five stuffed bunny animals, solidarity between me and Haruka. i want that rabbit it looks so cute

YAA there it is again! i don’t know what the heck it means but there it is!

the dog gives me pause because i’m not entirely sure what to make of it but i DO think this is where it’s important to remind people that the MV’s are based upon the prisoner’s own perception (i think. if i’m wrong, please correct me) and so we’re getting a lot of this from a biased standpoint. 

again, emotional abuse that might seem “”””Harmless””””” to others but it’s anything EXCEPT. 

did the dog run away? was he given the dog and Haruka now blames himself for letting the dog run off and perhaps the dog got hit by a car? (;﹏;) i feel like something that’s important is just how much self-hatred Haruka has and his tendency to blame himself for outside factors. i don’t think he LITERALLY killed the dog, but he feels as though he did so it’s become figurative. 

also as far as his dislikes being “children” and “animals”, i think he’s jealous of them, maybe? like that could tie into the yellow roses and their symbolism signifying jealousy and envy. he’s jealous of the inherent “innocence” associated with them. he’s getting older, so that “innocence” that’s accepted with THEM is no longer being used with HIM. Haruka has what’s deemed as “childish” interests and i get the feeling he’s made to feel badly about it. no doubt his disability is tied in with this.

there’s those flowers again. and Haruka tries to drown his wants/needs in order to try and “repent” for being the way he is. it’s HIS fault, so he has to think everything is fine even though he’s NOT fine and he’s going to break at some point under the pressure of society/his parents/everything. 

Haruka makes an effort to try to understand things in the beginning, but everytime he questions something that’s really ~obvious~ to everyone else he’s met with disappointed gazes and harsh critiques. so he stops trying to understand what he’s apparently ~lacking~ and he stops asking questions because that’s it! he’s dumb! he doesn’t get it so why bother!

i feel like by this point any praise to Haruka is better than nothing. rather than indifference or being ignored, he’d even rather be called “crazy”. i think Haruka just wants ANY attention be it good or bad - what he hates the most is feeling invisible or as if he could disappear and it wouldn’t matter to anyone.

i still feel like the blood on his hands is more figurative than literal and for reasons i’ve already explained so there’s no need to rehash it like i’m trying to meet an essay word count requirement

me too Haruka （；へ：）

his feelings of sadness and being unwanted turn to anger onto HIMSELF and it is what snaps the very thin thread he’s been living on 

choking himself ties into the water motif we’ve got going on here. the drowning, the suffocation - no longer being able to breathe because everything is broken and it’s unfixable. and he’s the reason why.

i feel like his crime is somehow suicide/attempted suicide but if it IS suicide then i really don’t know how he could be with the other prisoners? unless they’re all dead and this is some form of purgatory or something but otherwise? i don’t know. i just feel like it could be suicide

now i will also say this. the puddle of blue surrounding “him” has to be blood and that kind of makes me wonder if i’ve been barking up the wrong tree here but. idk any ideas anyone else has on this would be appreciated and also please talk to me about MILGRAM because i’ve got a badddd obsession 

what Haruka wants more than anything is attention and love. he wants love and yet it’s difficult for him to accept love because he doesn’t seem to have any “experience” with love. in the questions asked to him, he doesn’t even seem to really know what “love” actually is. he considers “liking” and “loving” to be the same thing, there’s no difference to him. if he’s getting attention it might not even matter to him because at this point something is better than nothing. 

so yes! this is messy. and it’s perhaps even incoherent. if you read this thanks for coming to my TED talk i love Haruka so much. it’s probably become obvious that i’m a little biased bc i relate to him a lot. let me know your own theories too or thoughts on this, i’d like to know hehe （*´▽｀*）

#MILGRAM #haruka sakurai #milgram theories #i mention suicide in this as a heads up! #i cant believe i just spent like an hour writing this. hm. i am in deep #i relate to He.... and i love him #i wrote all of this at 3 AM bc i am off my rocker

[wizkiddx]

without making this a sap story ive had some not so great news from home and am in one of them moods to not talk abt it. but i need a tom h to hug me , pls could u write something like that?

hey anon - i am sending u all my love, and hope things get a little easier for u as soon as possible. if u ever do wanna chat abt nothing or rant just send me a pm x  I hope this is at least somewhat what u were looking for <33

summary: life is sometimes not good, but your fave boy makes it just a little easier to deal with (with some original help from his brother too)

a bit angsty but i promise mainly fluff (and a popcorn fight?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What drew you out of the sort-of-trance was a two soft but firm knocks at the door - well Tom’s bedroom door. You’d been relaxing with him and Harry, watching the new ‘Line of Duty’ when your mum had called for the daily catch up. Admittedly, she had already tried to call you twice today but somehow you’d managed to miss both of them. On reflection, possible not that shocking because you’d been at a charity golf day with the boys which involved a fair amount of noise, chat and competition. 

Thankfully the boys had both done pretty well, Tom coming slightly ahead but that was the norm between the two. It meant they were both happily basking in their relative victories and not moody and grumpy like they are oh so often when things go wrong. Because to them, against your pleading, begging and sometimes lecturing…. golf was not just a game.  

You and your mum had always been very close, so usually speaking to her was uplifting and made you feel a little bit more complete - what with travelling with Tom for work, her voice was a slice of home. This time though, it was not so much the case. It was just sad news about your home town. Nothing directly to your family or close friends but still, it makes you feel generally down. 

Who knows how long it’d been since you’d hung up on the phone, just staring at the wall opposite. Everything felt just hollow and empty, lacking in meaning somewhat. You weren’t necessarily thinking, more like devoid of emotion, of thoughts, of anything. Just a bit cold. 

“Y/n…Y/n?” His voice sounded hesitant, as though scared he was interrupting your call. When you didn’t respond, the door cracked open and his fluffy head poked in, not that you noticed - your brain was still half absent. Tom on the other hand, was instantly looking you up and down, very much confused as the why you looked so rigid and not present. Noticing the phone was lying quiet on the bed in front of you, he felt safe to enter. He made a beeline for the bed, perching himself down on the edge, in-front of you - so he was blocking your fascinating view of the grey wall opposite. 

“What’s going on in that little head of yours?” His voice was soft and gravely, choosing not to put much energy into his vocal box as he rubbed up and down one of your arms. 

“Hmmm? Sorry, was miles away.”

“Could tell darl.” As he chuckled his eyes crinkled round the outside. “How was your mum?”

“Yeh…um okay, I-I guess.” As much as you wanted to shake yourself out of it, it just wasn’t that easy. Everything was laced with this underlying chilliness. 

“You sure? You dont really sound it?” 

“No, I um…well I’m not sure. I think I’m okay?”

“What happened?” You shook your head in response, making Tom press his lips together with a small nod. “ Don’t wanna talk about it huh?” 

“Not… not right now. Please?” 

With a permitting nod, Tom stood up and squeezed your hand, urging you to follow. Trailing behind him into the living room, he then instructed you to take a seat on the sofa adjacent to Harry, Tom himself disappearing back into the house. It made you pout a little, you wanted him to just look after you a little this evening but that self pity wasn’t allowed to last long - because a piece of popcorn flew into your cheek. You whipped your head around, with mouth open feigning shock, to see Harry smirking at you cradling a bowl full of other possible missiles in hand. 

“And what was that for?” He shrugged his shoulders, turning his head back to the TV.

“You looked sad.”

“…” Your mouth was open, no words coming out though, as you looked at the frizzy haired boy in bemusement. Sometimes you thought you understood how his head worked but at other points, the boy was a bloody mystery. Instead of explaining his thought process (because there almost certainly wasn’t one), he just smiled evily at you - wiggling his brows. And I know you know what that meant.

Sure enough by the time Tom reentered the room, arms full with different objects he’d collected round the house, the floor had been littered with popcorn kernels. You and Harry were squealing at each other as handfuls of the snack were catapulted vaguely at each other as you chased him round the room. It took Tom shouting at the both of you for you to freeze, slowly lowering your hands in ceasefire with a giggle. 

“I leave you alone for two minutes.”

“ It was his fault!” You protested, causing a 5 minute of ‘ he said-she said’ between the two of you, even if Tom wasn’t listening to the bickering. Instead, he quickly whizzed round the room picking up all the obvious popcorn bits and then spread out all the blankets he’d got from round the rented house on the sofa.

 You knew Harry, in his very own and special way, was only doing all this to cheer you up and you couldn’t appreciate it more. Your relationship with him had recently got so much closer, thanks to Tom being busy on set actually filming - while you and Harry just had some quality ‘almost sibling’ times. And now living with him too - naturally he had grown to know your tells almost as well as Tom. 

“Alright children calm down… thought we could watch movie?” Plopping himself down on the cream seat, Tom made grabby hands to you which of course you had to comply with. 

“I’ll um… I’m gonna leave you to- well to the being in love shit. It’ll make me chunder”

“We love you too bro” Tom called to Harry, who was already on his way out - but the tone of gratefulness in his voice was evident, he appreciated Harry noticing that the two of you could do with time together. 

“Don’t make it weird!” Harry’s response had you sniggering, as you pulled the fluffiest blanket over both you and Tom and nestling into his side. 

After a few minutes of Tom pretending to argue with you about film choice, before ultimately agreeing with your choice of ‘La la land’ as he always planned on letting you. The Holland boys were both very talented at subtly being a shoulder if needed, and yes you knew it was all an act - but you weren’t about to call him out. About halfway through he kissed the crown of your head and murmured. “Can tell you’re not watching darling.” He wasn’t wrong to be fair. Yes, you were looking at the screen - but your mind was far away from the plot line. 

“Sorry I um… minds like a runaway train sometimes.” Tom released a breathy chuckle at that before murmuring a ‘come ‘ere’ to you as he all but lifted you up from sitting by his side. You ended up lying almost onto of him, with both of Tom’s strong arms holding you tightly to him. Smiling into his chest, you nestled closer so the soundtrack to the movie played over the top of his constant thudding heartbeat. It took a few moments of you both just staring into the screen, completely contented for Tom to speak, squeezing you slightly tighter whilst the two of you watched Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone twirling on the road.

“I gotchu now lovie” 

And you swore then that all the thoughts racing in your mind were outpaced by those of a different kind. Still intense ideas, ones that buzzed round your brain, but these were happy. Thoughts of ‘how could I be so lucky’ and ‘I love this man with my whole heart’. 

Apparently these thoughts were also a comfort because when Tom looked down at you after what must’ve been at least half an hour, you were spark out. Breathing deep and unchanging, eye locked shut and mouth slightly squashed against his chest so your lips were pressed together. But what made the boy physical pout was the way you relaxed hand was loosely balled round a fistful of his purple hoodie. As if you were clutching at him to keep him as close to you as possible. 

He felt so grateful - not only for you, but also for the fact that he had the ability to make it a little better. You didn’t need him - Tom swore you were one of the most fiercely independent people he’d ever met - yet it was clear you wanted him. You wanted him when you felt down, the same way you wanted to be around him when you were overly hyper and chatting pure rubbish. You didn’t want him because he was the ‘Tom Holland’ you wanted him because he was Tom. 

He couldn’t fix what was going on back at your home (I mean right now, he still didnt even know what was going on). But he did know how to make everything just a little less shit. He knew how to be your person. 

And that would forever be job Tom was most proud of.

once again sending u all lots of love (esp u anon 💕)

would love to know what u guys think if ya made it this far ;)

tagging (link to join) : @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove

#tom holland #Tom Holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland angst #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagines #harry holland