#ish I guess since it's not super mentioned

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

Through Thick and Thin - Diamonds to Dust Ch4

Synopsis: Zuri tries to help Storm with their stab wound—problem is, she’s never tried to do this before.

Content: Anxious/inexperienced caretaker, aftermath of stabbing, panicked first aid/medical care lol

Taglist: @whump-queen @ghostsinthecloset

—

As she’s fumbling with the first aid kit, Zuri is only about half-sure she knows what she’s doing. Usually, that’s enough for her to skate by, but she has the feeling that’s not going to suffice for trying to prevent somebody from dying from a stab wound. How did this blue-haired guy even get it in the first place? 

The knife is still lodged in their chest, probably just under their sternum. Zuri is pretty sure that you’re not supposed to take it out because it staunches the bleeding—but she’s also pretty sure that you’re supposed to call an ambulance too. 

But Storm looked so desperate—god, they begged her not to. Still, she doesn’t want them to die. A hospital would be leagues more equipped for treating this than she is, so Zuri reaches for the cordless phone on the floor. 

Storm doesn’t seem to notice. Their breathing is labored and their face is scrunched up in pain. Zuri runs her fingers through her cornrows and feels a pang of mixed sympathy and panic. 

“Alright… I’m gonna call for an ambulance, okay?” Zuri tries to steady her voice even as her heart races.

Storm’s eyes instantly widen with fear, and they turn over to reach for the phone. “No, no… you don’t—you don’t need to, it’s—it’s fine… someone’s coming to pick me—pick me up, already…”

Zuri panics and shoots her hand out to push them down back to a lying position. “Okay, okay, okay, I won’t.” She has no idea why Storm is refusing proper medical attention. It’s suspicious, but she can worry about why later.

Right now, she’s more concerned with ensuring that Storm doesn’t worsen their injuries. She lays the phone down on the floor. “See? Not calling. So, just, please don’t move, I’m pretty sure that’s just gonna make this worse.”

Storm seems to calm down a little bit, lying still except for the occasional tremor. Are they cold? Zuri makes a note to get them a blanket, but for now, she’ll focus on the stab wound.

Stopping the bleeding is the most important part, right? She grabs the bandages she was preparing and rips off a long strip. She places it over Storm’s wound, curling it around the long dagger stuck in their torso.

God. Who did this to them?

The pristine white bandages quickly turn dark red. Zuri remembers hearing somewhere that you have to apply pressure to stop the bleeding. She set her hands on the stab wound, awkwardly placing them around the knife.

“Sorry if this hurts,” she tells Storm. They look at her and nod.

She pushes down on the injury, deliberately not too hard, but Storm still winces in pain. Zuri cringes a little, but she keeps applying pressure.

After some time, she decides that the bandages have absorbed all the blood they can, and she goes to replace them. Her hands are now sticky and stained dark red. Ugh, that’s really gross.

Still, Zuri repeats the process a couple of times until the bleeding slows to an ooze. She breathes a sigh of relief. Storm is probably a little less close to dead.

She isn’t sure if there’s anything else she needs to do. It’s not like she can wrap the wound in bandages when the knife is still embedded inside. Maybe she should just wait for whoever Storm said was picking them up to arrive. Zuri hopes that the person is a doctor.

For now, she might as well just try to make them comfortable.

“Hey, Storm?” she asks.

Storm turns their head towards her. “Yeah…?” they mutter.

“I’m just gonna go get some blankets for you, ‘kay?”

They nod and close their eyes. Zuri quietly gets up and walks down the short hallway into her bedroom. There are a couple of throw blankets piled on her desk chair. She grabs one of them, a soft knitted thing made of grey yarn, and returns to the living room with the blanket piled in her arms.

Storm opens their eyes when they hear her walking into the room. She drapes the oversized blanket over them, and they smile.

“Thanks… you didn’t have to…” they murmur.

“Don’t worry about it,” she reassures them with a soft smile.

—

AN: Sorry it took so long to finish this chapter! School’s been kicking my ass recently lol

Anyways this was really fun to write! Panicked caretakers are actually golden I need to use that trope more

#whump #whump writing #panicked caretaker #anxious caretaker #villain whump #ish I guess since it's not super mentioned #but it's there a little #diamonds to dust series #oc storm #oc zuri #my writing #this is actually a pretty fun series to write. I can't believe I'm like doing writing now

[spectralreplica]

Uhhhhhhhh Sburb AU!! This was more of an excuse to classpect and make sprites, so don’t ask me questions about plot details because I put like zero thought into it. Tsumugi probably had something to do with setting up the session, and she’s hiding her real title and the fact it’s not her first session. Baby Kiibo is a robot baby because I thought that was the funniest option.

Drawing with anti-aliasing off really brings me back...

Classpect thoughts under the cut if you really want:

Immediate caveat: I mention speculative stuff here like unconfirmed active/passive class pairs and inversion theory. If you don’t like those things or otherwise disagree with the titles I gave people that’s fine but just know I’m not super interested in debating about it and won’t reply.

So, to start out with I wanted to make the 8 of them a session, so I needed no overlaps in class or aspect and one Time + one Space. I also wanted to have Kaito and Kokichi as opposing aspects. In general, I think of a Title as kind of the end of your assigned character arc, so depending on your level of maturity/introspection at the start, it can seem either really obvious or really unintuitive. I tried to base them off of the hypothetical chapter 6/survivor versions of characters, since those (plus maybe the chapter 5 deaths) of the ones that get a full arc in DR canon.

Immediately Tsumugi seemed like a deadringer for Space, not so much because of the literal physics-related stuff but because of its associations with creation/narratives and setting things up for other people to act. I made her Sylph of Space here, but that's a facade. She's actually a Muse of Space who participated in past session(s) and wants to watch how things play out.

Based on the Extended Zodiac description, Kaito or Kaede has to be time, but Kokichi CANNOT be Space by any stretch of the imagination. I made her Heir of Time with the interpretation of Heir as someone who invites change/influences of/through their aspect. Time is also associated with music and death, which is both fitting and a little mean. (I can also see Kaede as Breath outside of having to have someone be Time.)

So moving onto Kaito and Kokichi, I was considering Hope vs Rage (belief vs doubt, possibility vs restrictions), but 1) Rage is defined partially by hatred of lies despite otherwise sounding Kokichi-ish (that alone could be interesting, with the possibility of a negative/reverse title or else giving him Hope and Kaito Rage for the unexpected swerve........) 2) I really wanted to give Hope to Kiibo. So instead I went with Heart and Mind (emotion vs logic, intuition vs planning, identity/motivation vs action/decisiveness).

Kokichi is Thief of Mind for taking away other people's decisions for his own purposes but also for generally "stealing" things (e.g., the Mastermind Role, narrative importance in general, along with literal items) through his own cleverness. Vs Kaito, a Knight of Heart, who uses his constructed identity as a weapon to face challenges. I'm also a fan of inversion theory, so I think at low points they'd both trend towards Page of Heart (grows powerful late in the narrative based on his own ego/identity) and Rogue of Mind (taking choices/agency/logic away from people for their own good), respectively.

I always wanted Kiibo to be Hope since 1) Ult. Hope Robot 2) big on possibilities/faith but can be a little self-centered. I went with Bard at least partially to make a "guess we know whether he has a dick or not now!" joke, but I also think "inviting destruction through Hope, inviting destruction of (false) hope" is pretty spot on for chapter 6 Kiibo. Like, as the camera/audience surrogate, he's been forced into passively leading the others to despair, not to mention how the audience takes him over to destroy the hope of ending the show. But Kiibo ends up reversing this and helping destroy the audience's faith in Danganronpa, destroying the whole academy in accordance with the vote. (Sidenote: I wonder if Kiibo gets taken over by Horrorterrors and goes grimdark? Or if he's just really, really susceptible to orders from his Exile)

Shuichi, Page of Void, was another one that immediately came to mind. Like, "starts off weak but becomes really strong/important by the end" is Shuichi's thing! Also, counterpart to Kaito's Knight. And Void is all about secrets, mystery, etc. From the Extended Zodiac: "Where others might be compelled to go out and seek answers, the Void-bound lean more toward casting doubt on what is already considered understood. They don't take much on faith and would rather live in a state of confusion- than believe something that might be untrue or bow to intellectual authority... At their best, Void-bound are wise, intuitive, and vibrant. At their worst, they can be dismissive, indecisive and apathetic." 

I had considering Light, for seeking out knowledge/truth, but Shuichi's character arc ends on "fuck you, I refuse to play. You all get nothing more from us" and learning to live with ambiguity, so I think he's way more Void. But, again, inversion would be Thief of Light, so selfishly taking away knowledge/importance from others.

Speaking of Light, I made Miu Mage of Light. Mage is like, active Seer, seeking out knowledge for yourself (vs advising others) and Light is luck, knowledge, and also importance/plot relevance. As an inventor, Miu keeps innovating and figuring things out, plus she's very motivated by her own importance to the world. She wants to be seen more than anything else and loves being smarter than those around her. Also: "At their best, the Light-bound are resourceful and driven. At their worst they can be fussy, pedantic, and insensitive." Inversion is Heir of Void, so "inviting change via hiding things" or "changing what's kept secret", which suits Miu when plotting murder.

Finally, Maki is Prince of Blood. Blood is trust, bonds, relationships, stubbornness, duty, obligation (vs freedom, change, choices) so "someone who breaks bonds/destroys relationships" but also "someone who destroys using/motivated by duty/relationships". Like, Maki is inherently a fracture point in the group because of her talent and then directly breaks the group apart and sabotages her relationships with the others in chapter 5, but also she's deeply motivated by her bonds to others in all of her destructive actions (protectiveness for orphanage/friend, love for Kaito). This sound super negative, but I think this is also the Maki who commits to destroying the institution of Danganronpa in chapter 6. Sometimes you have to be decisive and cut bad relationships out of your life.

Inversion would be Sylph of Breath, so "healing via change" or "encouraging growth towards freedom", which you can argue is sort of the way Kaito wants her to go? But she just doesn't. Idk, for better or worse, I think Maki is very aware of who she is and how people related to her, so even at her worst she's true to herself, vs, say, Kaito or Kokichi, who act "ooc".

#Homestuck #Kokichi Oma #Kaito Momota #Miu Iruma #Shuichi Saihara #Kaede Akamatsu #Maki Harukawa #Kiibo #Tsumugi Shirogane #New Danganronpa V3 #Danganronpa #Sburb AU #Spectra Art

[jjunieworld]

okay but an equally angsty idea for a pt 2 for a bed in your shape

it’s been awhile and kai’s relationship didn’t work out.

he regrets losing his best friend and realizes maybe there was feelings there, him and reader run into one another somewhere, he starts reminiscing and asks if reader ever thinks about their special place and reader hits him with

“it’s just a field”

a life in your eyes ⋆ 𓈒 ✧ 🎑 ˊ𓂃

part two to a bed in your shape — requested by anon, enjoy! ♡

pairing: huening kai x afab!reader

genre: angst, smut, fluff-ish (kinda if you squint), childhood bestfriends to strangers to lovers, slice of life, blonde!kai, kai is an asshole at some point, mentions of taehyun x reader, references to strawberry blond by mitski

synopsis: it’s been almost two years since your childhood bestfriend kai left you in your sacred shared field alone and your friendship ended. now the girl your friendship ended over is out of the picture and you saw him again for the first time since that field. try as you must, you just can’t stop the undeniable pull you’ve always felt towards each other.

warnings: drinking/alcohol, reader wears a dress at one point, unprotected sex (wrap it!!), somewhat public sex? (there’s nobody around), mostly soft-ish sex, petnames (baby), creampie, oral (f. rec), some praise

word count: 7k┊part one┊masterlist

author's note: anon your brain is so big and i love you ♡ i literally took this and ran with it so i hope you enjoy!! the context of this is kinda off, so make sure you read part one to understand all of it! this was fun to write, i haven’t wrote a super angsty fic in a while so i hope you all enjoy! all feedback and reblogs are welcome ♡

tears fell from your eyes as you followed the gravel road home, blurring your vision. the sky outside was darkening; the once vibrant bright blue turning into wisps of pink and orange against a dark backdrop. you tried hard not to let yourself break into pieces, but it was inevitable. it felt like you had just lost everything all at once and now you sat alone, empty.

you held the picnic basket limply in your arms. you guessed it was a good thing you had it with you. the walk back to your childhood home wasn’t a particularly long one, maybe around ten minutes, but now it felt like an eternity. you shivered as the passing cool wind flowed over your skin. you wished this day never even happened. wished that you would’ve just smiled when kai told you he was going to bring his new girlfriend to the field that was sacred to you. wished that you never had feelings for him to begin with.

the gravel road branched out onto one of the empty main roads of your town. you followed the white lines, your head turning from side to side as the day turned into night. you still couldn’t believe that kai would leave you there all alone. couldn’t believe that he would pick some girl who he only knew for a few months over you—his childhood bestfriend. that thought only seemed to break your heart more.

kai fucked up. he realized that as soon as he peeled away from the field, knew that once he saw your heartbroken face he had passed the point of no return. but his anger and his pride had blinded him. ‘some girl?’ she was his girlfriend, not ‘some girl.’

“fuck!” kai shouted, coming to a dead stop just before the main road. his hand hit his steering wheel, hard. kai debated on whether or not he should go back to you. put aside his pride and open up his eyes to see your feelings right in front of him. it was just a field, kai honestly couldn’t see what the big deal about it was. so what if he brought his girlfriend there?

after a long moment of consideration—and it was a very, very long moment indeed—he decided to drive back to the field. the sky was getting darker by the minute and he couldn’t just leave you to walk home alone in the dark. he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if something were to happen to you and it would’ve been all his fault.

kai turned the car around sharply and sped back down the gravel road and back to the field. he jumped out the car, searching for your figure amongst the grass but saw nothing. kai’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and guilt sunk into him deep. you were gone. you were gone and nothing between the two of you will ever be the same ever again.

you wouldn’t lie and say that you never thought about kai. you did. it's been almost two years and you still think about him everyday. he was your best friend, after all. you saw him in everything; the beautiful sunsets, the morning dew on the blades of grass, the freshly baked goods and the deliciously made sandwiches. you couldn’t escape him.

it didn’t help that all of your friends were also his. you constantly heard about him, even if your friends tried to not talk about him around you after noticing how separate you and kai were from each other. you guess if came with its pros as well as its cons. without your mutual friends, you never would’ve known that kai had broken up with his girlfriend. the very same girlfriend your friendship ended over.

from what you’ve heard from your friends, the breakup was disastrous. in fact, their whole relationship was seemingly disastrous from the very beginning. “are you sure you want to hear about this?” your friend, beomgyu, asked you seriously. “i know the two of you don’t really hang around each other anymore…”

you nodded, you had to know what happened for your own peace of mind. you had to know what everything ended over. beomgyu sighed, but told you anyway, “apparently she was one of the paranoid types—you know, the ones who always think you're cheating when you step out to go to the store or something? from the beginning she was really insecure that kai was seeing someone else, even though that wasn’t true.”

your brows raised. kai had never spoken about any of that when the two of you were still friends. “yet they lasted almost two years?” you questioned. beomgyu scoffed slightly and shook his head as he thought about it. “i know, that’s the thing. he was trying to break it off with her from the very beginning but she would always find some way to tie herself around him. then, he found her in bed with her best friend’s brother!” beomgyu exclaimed, pointing a finger down onto the table as he spoke in conjunction with his words.

a small gasp escaped you as your eyes widened. “so she was projecting?” you asked though you already knew the answer. beomgyu nodded as he sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. you shook your head as your phone went off. you briefly checked it and looked back up at beomgyu, “of course she was… i gotta go gyu, i’m meeting with taehyun. you still coming to yeonjun’s party next weekend?”

beomgyu stood with you as you grabbed your things. “you know i’ll be there! bye y/nie, tell taehyun i said hi!” you smiled at him as he pulled you into a hug, telling him goodbye in return. you rushed out the café and to where taehyun was outside waiting for you with a smile.

you didn’t get to take two steps towards him before your arm was being grabbed at. spinning in the direction, you furrowed your brows in question. what you weren’t expecting was to come face to face with kai after almost two years. “y/nie…” kai breathed.

glancing over to taehyun, he wore a look of confusion on his face that probably mirrored yours. you looked back to kai with an eyebrow raised. how dare he address you like you were still best friends? “kai,” you responded curtly. kai flinched ever so slightly, like he didn’t realize that you weren’t a figment of his imagination.

“h-how are you?” he then asked. you loathed looking at him. loathed how your eyes took in every detail of him and memorized it until all you saw when they closed was what he looked like. loathed how you noticed that even after almost two years his hair still turned golden in the sunlight. you hated him. “fine. look, not to cut our conversation short but i have to go,” you spoke fastly, wanting the conversation to end as quickly as possible.

but most importantly, you loathed how as soon as you laid your eyes on him all your feelings for him came rushing back like a tsunami. you hated how you still loved him, even though now you were with someone else. you jogged up to taehyun and pressed a kiss to his lips. “let’s go,” you murmured, willing yourself not to look back at kai as you moved to get into taehyun’s car.

it didn’t surprise you when you and taehyun didn’t last. you couldn’t help but feel bad about it because you knew it was your fault. you started to become absent in your relationship, too busy noticing kai. that’s all you seemed to do ever since you first saw him again. all you could see was how he avoided you every chance he got. it’s been months and your head has once again been clouded by him.

your being itched to go back to the field, but you refused the call. it wasn’t your field anymore—it wasn’t anything to you anymore. the once painterly hills wouldn’t afflict the same calmness in you as it once did. not without kai. you knew it deep in your heart.

thankfully, you and taehyun ended on good terms. “i just feel like you’re distracted, y/n. like your heart isn’t in it. your mind seems elsewhere and until you bring yourself back to earth, i think we should break things off for the both of us,” he had told you. you weren’t even sad, you were relieved, and that caused guilt to eat away at you.

now you were at a party being held for your friend soobin, completely unaware that kai would also be there since he’s soobin’s friend too. when you walked into the house, your eyes had immediately connected and you quickly looked away as you ducked to some corner. “shit…” you mumbled to yourself as you grabbed a drink. how could you forget? they were his friends before they were yours after all.

you downed your shot and walked over to soobin to tell him happy birthday, avoiding kai who stood a couple steps away from him. soobin pulled you into a hug as he thanked you with a big smile. the party was already in full swing when you arrived and a lot of people were already tipsy. you grabbed another drink to nurse through the night as you found an empty spot on the couch to sit on.

the cake was brought out about an hour later and everyone gathered around soobin to sing to him and watch him blow out his candles. through the crowd your eyes lingered on kai and the way the smile on his lips never disappeared as he watched his friends celebrate. you took another sip of your cup—which was now almost empty—as you made your way back to the couch, deciding to skip out on the cake.

a laugh slipped from your lips as you watched your drunk friends sloppily cut the cake and hand it out to people. they were barely able to stand on their own two feet, let alone handle sharp knives. not that you were faring better yourself. your eyes were getting more and more bleary with each sip you took and it made you wonder just how strong the drinks were.

you felt the couch dip next to you. blinking slowly, you turned to see who the culprit was and your eyes widened after a moment of processing who was next to you. kai gave you a lazy smile, very clearly drunk. “hi y/nie!” he smiled. before you could reply, he added, “why aren’t we friends anymore? i still don’t understand it no matter how hard i try. i just know that i made you sad.”

kai’s face turned solemn and he grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers like he used to do when you were kids. when you were upset as kids, kai would intertwine your hands with his and let you rest your head on his shoulder. he would then tell you that everything would be okay because one day you would grow up and become adults and nothing would be able to stop you.

as much as you wanted to move away from him, you weren’t in your right mind to think clearly. “why don’t you ask your girlfriend?” you spoke, sharpness edging its way into your words. you knew that they had broken up, but you still wanted to see his reaction. kai just laughed, “i would if we were still together! haven’t been for months. you don’t have to worry about her anymore. it can just be me and you again like it always should’ve been!”

you took your hands from his, ignoring how cold your hands felt without the warmth of kai’s. “it can’t just be ‘just me and you’ again kai. you can’t just ignore me for two years and then come back because you have no one to pine over you anymore.” kai furrowed his eyebrows, “it’s not like that, y/nie.” you shook your head in return, “it is.”

“it isn’t,” kai stated firmly, or as firmly as he could while drunk and with slurred speech. “you don’t know how much i missed you these past two years.” you scoffed at him unbelievingly. missed you? it sure didn’t feel like it when he was avoiding you at every possible turn. “you missed my company, not me,” you shot back.

“i. missed. you,” kai said, separating each word. he moved to look into your eyes to ensure you got his message clearly. “did you miss me?” he asked—more slurred, as he took another larger sip from his cup. you rolled your eyes at him. “don’t ask me stupid questions,” you replied. kai smiled widely at you from the brim of his cup.

you took the cup from him and sat it on the end table near you. he really didn’t need to be drinking anymore. “you’re way too drunk. who’s taking you home?” you asked as you turned back to him. you hated how you still cared about his wellbeing after he clearly showed you he didn’t care about yours. kai slumped back onto the couch in your direction and stared openly at you. “nobody, i drove here by myself.”

sighing deeply as you ran a hand down your face, you shook your head at him. “you are so stupid,” you muttered loud enough for him to hear. kai chuckled at you, the smile lingering on his face after. you turned to him, “you’re walking home, i hope you know that.”

“as long as you walk with me,” kai replied without missing a beat. you rolled your eyes at his insistence. you rolled them once more when you told him you would. “i can’t in good conscience let you walk home alone like this. if i’m walking with you, you better say your goodbyes now.”

kai wobbly got to his feet at your words and the two of you separately went around the room saying goodbye to your friends. you were now helping him down the steps of the porch, his tall body practically completely over your shoulders. “and then step—yeah, you got it,” you said as he safely got down. he was lucky you weren’t as drunk as he was.

as the two of you walked down the road that led in the direction of his house, kai was obviously eager to strike up conversation. “so you did miss me?” he smirked over at you, his shoulder nudging slightly into yours more from the fact that he couldn’t walk straight. “i missed my best friend. you were my best friend,” you deadpanned. “were?” he repeated back to you. you stopped and looked at him, completely serious. “were,” you replied and continued walking.

“i’m sorry for hurting you y/nie,” kai spoke softly. you chose to ignore him and kept at your pace. he was two years too late. your heart has already broken and been put back together. and even then, the cracks still shown.

after a moment, kai suddenly asked, “do you ever think about our special place? our field? do you still go there?” it took everything in you not to scoff and explode in anger at him. now he wants to acknowledge how special the field was? “i think about it all the time,” you replied somewhat coldly. “and i went there twice since i last saw you there.”

“you did?” he turned to you and asked. there was a gleam in his eyes. you nodded, “taehyun and i went together when we were first dating. it really is ‘quiet but meaningful’ and ‘absolutely perfect’, you were right.” just as quickly as you saw the gleam in his eyes it left at the mention of his friend. “you took taehyun there?” kai asked. he couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice with how drunk he was. it gave you little pleasure to hear it.

you looked him dead in the eyes as you spoke your next words. you wanted him to see the expression on his face when you tossed his own words back at him. wanted to see the hurt in his eyes like he saw the hurt in yours. “what’s the issue? it’s just a field,” you voice was quiet as you watched his face fall and his eyebrow furrow slightly. his sad expression wasn’t as satisfying as you expected it to be. if anything, it just made you feel shittier.

the two of you reached kai’s house in silence. it wasn’t his childhood home you knew so well, but it was on the same street as it. you only knew where he lived because taehyun had to drop something off to him while he was with you.

you helped him inside and to his bedroom. you turned your back to him when he started to change into pajamas. “so…” kai started, finally breaking the silence. you heard the rustling of clothes behind you. “you and taehyun then…” he trailed. you inhaled deeply. “not anymore,” you exhaled, leaving it that. “oh,” kai said quietly.

you heard the bed creak and heard kai say that you could turn around. you did as told and put a hand on your hip. he was now in his bed halfway under the covers as he looked at you. you gave him a nod before turning to exit. “you can’t leave. it’s dark outside and you’re drunk. you’ll have to walk home,” kai rushed.

“it wouldn’t be the first time i walked home alone,” the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. this is why you didn’t like to drink as much, your filter completely disappeared. “i wasn’t there then, so let me be there now. stay with me,” kai stated as he extended a hand towards you. you shook your head at him, “whatever. fine, but i’ll sleep on the couch.”

a small smile made its way onto kai’s mouth. “don’t be ridiculous, this wouldn’t be the first time we shared a bed,” he laughed a little. you shook your head again, flashes of his words rang through your mind. “don’t be ridiculous, i could never see them that way.” you felt a pang in your chest.

“it’s fine, really. besides, my clothes smell like alcohol.” you couldn’t let yourself get into that bed with him. if you did, you knew you would forgive him instantly, you were already on your way to it just from being near him for so long. you don’t know how long you could take his sulky expressions. it was his fault you two were in the position you were in, so why did you feel so bad about it?

kai pointed towards his dresser and your eyes followed in the direction of it. “take them off and wear some of mine,” he insisted. you sighed deeply. he wasn’t going to let this go. “i’ll look away,” kai added. you shook your head once again as you made your way towards his dresser and opened it. grabbing one of his shirts and one of his sweatpants, you sat them on the edge of the bed and shrugged out of your clothes.

all you couldn’t think about as you put his clothes on was how screwed you were. you were wearing his clothes, enveloped in his scent, and you were screwed. “done?” kai asked and you replied with a measly, “yeah.” he patted the bed and you shut the lights off before climbing in it.

you made sure to put some space between the two of you as you laid next to him in the darkness. you still saw the outline of his figure and felt his heavy gaze on you. “i’m sorry for letting someone come between us,” kai apologized, his speech still slurring. “i regretted it everyday.” you didn’t want to start an argument, so all you said was, “let’s not do this right now.”

“i missed you so much y/nie. i didn’t know what to do without you,” kai continued. you looked at his outline. “go to sleep, kai,” is all you said. you saw him shake his head at you. you tried your hardest to keep your mouth shut.

missed you? didn’t know what to do without you? that meant nothing coming from him and it would continue to mean nothing until he put his money where his mouth was. he could spew all this drunken gibberish all he wanted, but you didn’t believe a word—refused to believe a word until he said it back to you sober.

“i love you,” kai suddenly slurred, knocking you completely out of your thoughts. you stammered hard over your words. “i love you, love you,” he then clarified. heat rose in your face and you knew that if you were to feel your cheeks that they would be hot to the touch. “you don’t know what you’re saying, kai,” you said slowly after gathering yourself.

you didn’t want drunken confessions if what he was saying was real and not from his delirious state. you wanted romantic, dramatic. you want a confession that would steal your breath away and promise a love everlasting. you didn’t want this, no matter how much your heart raced at its potential.

“i do, y/n,” he said barely above a whisper, words suddenly clear. he was so close to you now that you felt his breath on your cheek. his lips just barely missed brushing against yours and you desperately wanted to close the gap. instead you pulled away from him, putting more distance between the two of you.

you shook your head at him, “go to sleep.” with that, you turned away from him and shut your eyes tightly. he didn’t get to do this. he didn’t get to suddenly waltz into your life like nothing happened and spit drunk love confessions. you refused. pushing the thoughts to the back of your mind, you forced sleep to overtake you.

your head was killing you when you woke up and you barely remembered what happened last night. you certainly weren’t expecting to be tucked into someone’s chest with their arms wrapped tightly around you. slowly, you looked around the room as your memories came back to you one by one. you stilled as you realized just whose arms you were in and flicked your gaze up to kai’s face.

his eyes were on the ceiling and you could see the confusion in his face as you watched the gears in his brain turn and turn to figure out how he got here. he must not remember a single thing. vaguely, you could feel him absentmindedly playing with the ends of your hair like he would do when you were kids.

it was then that reality slapped you across the face and you realized how this must’ve looked to him. you were in his bed and in his clothes—things that haven't happened in years—after a night getting drunk at a party. he must think that the two of you had sex.

gathering up all the courage you could muster, you swallowed thickly. “kai…” you trailed off quietly. his eyes snapped to yours, widening slightly. the awkward tension in the air was unbearable. you slowly began to sit up and he unwrapped his arms from around you.

“we didn’t have sex… if that’s what you’re wondering,” you muttered awkwardly. “you were really drunk and i walked you home. you insisted that i change my clothes and stay with you. then we went to sleep.” you rubbed at your temples a little, trying to relieve yourself a little of your headache.

you stood up onto your knees, the blanket falling off of you, “i should get going…” kai’s eyes immediately trailed down your body and at the fact that you were wearing his clothes. his eyes then snapped back up to yours as you moved towards the edge of the bed. he grabbed your wrist lightly, causing you to look back at him. “stay,” kai said softly.

excuses were on your tongue but kai spoke again before you could. “at least until your headache goes away. i’ll walk you back to your car,” he added. your gaze flicked down to his hand at your wrist and back to him. slowly, you started to nod without realizing it, “okay.” kai gave you a small, shy smile as you sat back onto your knees.

he let go of your wrist and you both sat there for a moment in silence as you looked at anything but each other. you cleared your throat, “i’m guessing you don’t remember anything?” kai laughed sheepishly and shook his head a little. “not a thing,” he replied.

this was so awkward. you couldn’t tell him of last night’s events. of how he basically clung to you and told you he missed you and loved you. but at the same time, you didn’t know how long you could keep it inside of you.

“i’d rather not know if i did something embarrassing,” kai said as he climbed off the bed and to his feet. you echoed his actions. kai turned to you, “come on, let’s get you some medicine.” you nodded as you followed him. you looked outside to try and see what time it might be, but could only tell it was somewhere between morning and afternoon with the daylight.

kai took you to his bathroom and dug in the medicine cabinet for ibuprofen. once he acquired it, he shook some out into your open palm and got some for himself. you then followed him to his kitchen where he got the both of you some water.

everything felt so casual between the two of you when it wasn’t. there was too much between you. so many unspoken words and feelings ready to be brought to the light. “are you hungry?” kai asked you, already turning to dig for something to make. you swallowed thickly, words stuck in your throat. finally, you managed, “kai, we have to talk…”

he kept his back to you as he made ramen, “i know we do, but does it have to be now?” you sighed and sternly said, “kai.” he turned back to face you. “eat first. please, y/n,” his voice was quiet and almost desperate, like once you left his house he’d never see you again. and maybe he wouldn’t. maybe the two of you would go back to avoiding each other’s existence while at the same time acknowledging it— forever skirting around each other.

“fine,” you sighed as you slumped into the dining room chair. after a few moments, he sat a bowl in front of you and sat opposite of you. the two of you ate in quiet, but surprisingly comfortable silence. once you ensured he was finished, you looked at him expectantly.

kai swept the messy blonde hair out of his face before settling his gaze on you. “where do you wanna start?” he asked you. you thought about it for a moment. you knew you both should probably start from the beginning, go all the way back to the day he left you at the field, but you needed to know how much he knew of last night. “do you remember anything from last night?” you asked him.

“bits and pieces,” kai replied. “i remember walking home with you, but not anything that we may have talked about. everything from there is really fuzzy—god, what was in those drinks?” you chuckled a little and a smile formed on kai’s face. “why, did i say something weird?” he asked jokingly.

the lingering smile on your face faltered and you looked down to your noodles as you decided to take a bite of them instead of answering. “let’s start back at the field when you stormed off,” you spoke after eating. “you left me alone there. don’t get me wrong, i can understand why you were angry, but you left me alone there, kai. you refused to see my side of things.”

“i know, and nothing will change what i did,” kai said, his eyes falling to the table. “i realized too late that i fucked up. when i went back to the field you were already gone.” your heart pounded in your chest. he went back to the field?

“i shouldn’t have let my emotions cloud my judgement. that field was our sacred place, you were right. i should've seen that it wasn’t ‘just a field’ and i should’ve seen the hurt in your eyes earlier when i stripped it of its specialness,” kai looked up to you and searched your eyes.

you held steadfast onto your emotions. you wanted everything laid out onto the table, everything swept out from under the rugs. “was it worth losing me? cause i can tell you one thing,” you looked him directly in the eyes, “it wasn’t worth losing you. losing your best friend and the person you love most in this world in one swift motion over a girlfriend wasn’t worth it.”

kai’s eyebrows raised in shock at your words and he opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it. “don’t act like you didn’t know about my feelings for you. maybe you didn’t know then, but there’s no way you don’t know now,” you said, tucking your hands under the table to hide their slight shaking. you continued, “i have to know. was she worth it?”

“no,” kai said immediately. that wasn’t enough for you. “why?” you asked him. he gave you a nonchalant shrug, like it was the most obvious and plain information in the world, “she wasn’t you. she never was.” your mouth went dry and your words died in your throat. you knew that the potential of him loving you more than just as a childhood best friend was raised due to his drunken confession, but to hear him say it so straightforward while sober fully set ablaze the feelings for him you tried so desperately to hide away.

kai continued, “she wasn’t worth losing you, not in a million years. i knew that as i stupidly drove off, when i stayed with her for almost two years and all we ever did was fight over you, and i knew that as soon as i saw you again at that café. she wasn’t you.” you inhaled deeply as the two of you stared at each other for a moment, trying to ground yourself in some way.

you closed your eyes briefly. so much has changed in such little time it overwhelmed you. “what about when you told yeonjun you could never see me that way? at your birthday party?” kai’s brows furrowed as he tried to remember what you were talking about. you saw the gears turn until it finally clicked in his head. “we weren’t talking about you, y/nie… we were talking about the girl he was trying to set me up with. i told yeonjun i wasn’t interested if it wasn’t you and he told me that i needed to confess,” kai replied.

“and now that i’m right here in front of you?” you asked softly, quietly, as if you were scared of his answer. the corner of kai’s mouth tilted up, “would you forgive me if i don’t let you go?” you couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face and the butterflies in your chest. he was always the cliché. “always,” you responded, face breaking out into a small laugh.

you then smirked at him slightly, “you owe me a walk.” the both of you stood to put the dishes in the sink. once you were done, kai trapped you against the counter. he leaned in close to you, “and another picnic.”

humming, you placed a finger to his lips and pushed his face away. kai smiled and took a step back to let you free. “don’t push your luck,” you chuckled.

somehow on the walk back to both you and kai’s cars, he convinced you to let him take you to your field after you both went home and got cleaned up. “come on, y/nie! i told you i owed you another picnic! let me pick you up,” he whined slightly as he blocked your car door.

you rolled your eyes but agreed anyway. “good! i’ll see you in an hour!” kai quickly pecked your lips before running off laughing like a maniac towards his own car. “your pushing your luck!” you called after him, shaking your head as you got into your car.

so here the two of you were, sitting on the same picnic blanket the two of you would always use in the middle of your sacred field. you both didn’t have time to make anything, so you stopped at the store and grabbed whatever your hearts desired from the shelf. your picks were spread out on the blanket around you.

the sun was starting to set as it turned the sky purple. you took the last bite out of the sandwich you picked out as you looked up at the clouds. “that one looks like a dinosaur!” you exclaimed, pointing to the cloud. kai scooted closer to you until his chest was just about pressed to your back and your cheeks were touching. he followed your finger upwards, “that’s clearly a flower.”

you turned to look at him, a slight pout on your lips in protest. “like you are,” kai smiled and you playfully rolled your eyes. “lame,” you dramatically drawled out. kai laughed, “oh yeah?” you nodded with a smile, squealing a little when his lips suddenly pressed to yours.

pulling away, you looked at him with wide eyes, “at least take me out to dinner first!” kai laughed more as he pulled you onto his lap while kissing you again. the sundress you wore rode up a little as his hands trailed to your hips. the kiss between the two of you was getting real heated real quick and you broke away to give your burning lungs oxygen.

you and kai’s foreheads were pressed together as you breathed heavily. wrapping your arms around his neck, you kissed him again deeply. you grinded down onto him as the sudden need for friction clouded you and kai groaned. his hands on your hips tightened.

kai was then laying down onto his back on the picnic blanket, pulling you down with him with your kiss. he broke away, breathless, and looked in your eyes. his hands were on your ass now and he gently nudged you forward. “sit,” he breathed. your eyes widened as his hands moved towards your thighs that were around his torso. “please,” kai added.

his breathless desperate plea could’ve sent you over the edge alone. you sat up, pressing your hands to his chest as you moved to take off your underwear. you discarded it somewhere beside the two of you as you moved up his body holding up your dress. once you got around kai’s neck, you stopped to look down at him. his eyes were too busy focusing on your now exposed pussy.

“fuck, baby… you’re so wet for me already?” he asked as he grabbed your thighs and moved you more towards his mouth. you didn’t get the chance to reply before his lips was sucking on your clit. you let out a loud gasp as you doubled over, back arching as you grasped the picnic blanket. “that’s it, let me hear you. be as loud as you want,” kai said as he briefly pulled away.

he made quick work of you with his tongue. you would’ve thought that he was a starved man and this was his first meal in months with the way he ate you out. your legs trembled as loud mewls escaped your lips. kai held you steady, his fingers digging into the plushness of your thighs, as you let out a breathy moan. “k-kai—“ you started to warn him but him swirling his tongue around your sensitive clit halted you in your tracks.

you leaned back as you felt yourself cum on his mouth. you tried your hardest not to squeeze your thighs together and instead grabbed at the fabric at kai’s shoulders. breathy moans spilled from your mouth and kai’s tongue helped you through your orgasm. once you were finished, kai licked a strip up your pussy with his tongue, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

breathing heavily and with weak knees you moved down so that kai could sit up. his whole lower jaw was wet with your release, causing it to shine in the setting sunlight. you kissed him hungrily and your hands reached down to unbuckle the belt he was wearing. kai laughed against your lips at your eagerness, “you want my cock that bad?”

kai’s voice was low with an edge of playfulness in it that made you want him to strip you completely naked and have his way with you. his breath fanned across your ear and all you could do was nod as you pulled the belt from the loops around his jeans and threw it to the side.

you could feel just how big he was from the hardness trying to escape his jeans. and you weren’t wrong when kai got up to pull down his jeans and boxers. your eyes widened slightly, but you weren’t one to dismiss a challenge.

you had practically climbed kai like a tree, his soft laughs filling your ears as you climbed on top of him. you needed him, desperately. especially in the past two years with little to no contact at all with him. you were in the middle of lining the tip of kai’s cock with your entrance, fully ready to sink completely down onto it with the help of the white liquid still dripping out of you, when kai grabbed your hips to stop you.

“don’t rush,” he said. you could tell he was fighting the urge to not fuck into you with how strained his voice sounded. “go down slowly,” he added. you did as he told you to do and sunk down on him inch by inch. the stretch took you by surprise and you had to grab kai’s shoulders for support.

after a moment of you adjusting to him—more you preparing yourself as you already felt the tip of him pressing into your sweet spot—you gave an experimental roll of your hips. it was like you were suddenly blinded by pure bliss and you were sure you were hurting kai with how hard your nails were digging into his shoulders. “mmm, baby. you feel so good. keep going,” kai said with his eyes screwed shut tightly.

you moved from your knees to your feet and readjusted kai’s cock inside you before connecting eyes with him. you rolled your hips towards him as you bounced up and down on his hard cock. kai’s hands were on your hips, helping you move them with the rhythm you created. his whimpers sent fire to the pit of your belly as you continued to ride him.

kai brought his lips down onto yours sloppily and you wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him closer. your moans and whimpers intertwined with each other as you both inched closer and closer to your climax. the noises filling this field from the two of you was downright sinful, but you couldn’t help but become even more turned on from the sound of you bouncing on his cock.

you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the finish line and no doubt kai could feel it from how much you were clenching around him. kai’s head fell to the crook of your neck, his nose leaving goosebumps on your skin as his mouth found your ear. “don’t stop… please… please keep going…” he trailed breathlessly. “i want you to cum for me.”

it didn’t take much longer for you to fall into his chest as you dripped warm cum down his cock. that must’ve finally broke kai as he pulled you down onto his chest as he laid back and positioned your hips so he could fuck up into you. “j-just a little longer, baby,” kai cooed at your whimpers. the speed was so rapid it left you trembling again and had tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

you buried your face in kai’s chest, thankful it muffled your loud moans of pleasure, as you listened to your skin slap against his lewdly. you felt kai start to twitch inside you and suddenly his warm cum was filling you up to the brim, dripping out of you from around his big thick cock. you wanted to help him with his high no matter how sensitive you were, so you pushed up from his chest and started rocking your hips as best as you could.

when you couldn’t take anymore—and when kai’s hands were on your hips forcing you to stop—you fell back down onto his chest. you look up at him and ran your hands through his golden hair to get it off his forehead. kai’s eyes were closed and there was a ghost of a smile on his face like he was in heaven.

after a moment of catching your breath and looking up at the sky, you weakly commented, “the sunset is so pretty.” kai’s chest vibrated as he laughed. “not as pretty as you,” he smoothly replied. you smiled as you rolled your eyes, “that was so corny.”

you sat up and pulled yourself off of him, missing how much he filled you up. kai grabbed some of the napkins you had gotten from the store and began cleaning you up. there was a goofy smile playing on his lips. you sighed playfully and looked down at him. “what?” you asked, fully expecting him to say something cheesy.

kai’s laugh filled your ears, “now this place is really sacred and special.” you jaw dropped at him, which only made him laugh harder. “kai!” you exclaimed, slapping his shoulder as heat rose in your cheeks.

© jjunieworld - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

taglist: @lillynval @hearts4huening @jjunberry @gothgyuu @spooksh0wbabe @beargyuuzz @kittyhyuka @dani-is-tired @riaawr @nxzz-skz @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @rapmonie2047

part one┊masterlist┊taglist┊request rules

#txt x reader #hueningkai x reader #hueningkai #huening kai #txt hueningkai #huening kai x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop #txt soobin #txt beomgyu #txt yeonjun #txt taehyun #tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together imagines #kpop x reader #txt #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt angst #txt fluff #hueningkai angst #hueningkai fluff #hueningkai oneshot #hueningkai drabble #hueningkai imagines #hueningkai scenarios #txt smut #hueningkai smut #﹙📥﹚requested ˑ༄˚⊹

[ieatangstforbreakfast]

Pairing ೃ⁀➷ 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝟒𝟐! 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬 x Fem! Reader

Summary ೃ⁀➷ Lovers have secrets of their own, no matter how much they come to trust each other, whether it be a past mistake or an unspoken trauma. For you and Miles, however, your secrets came in the form of hidden identities— one being a masked vigilante, and the other a mastermind.

Genre ೃ⁀➷ Forbidden love, mutual pining, angst♡

Tags ೃ⁀➷ Both are artists, reader is from a very wealthy family, both are living double lives, underaged smoking, reader is female and uses she/her pronouns, forbidden love (ish?), swearing, daddy issues, mommy issues, reader is unhinged, both are mentally unstable, lots of flirting.

Author's Note ೃ⁀➷ i thought about this plot over and over, and I hesitated publishing it since i don’t want to deviate so much from everything but i said fuck it, so now ere i am, greeting y’all with ‘wassup villain’

Tag list ೃ⁀➷ @sakura-onesan @coffeeandtealol @luvjunie @noetophat @proudgojofucker @depresssedcowboy @shuna-boin

⚠️ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ⚠️ Mommy issues, mention of death,, profane language, plot progression. Pronouns keep shifting bc Miles thinks you’re a guy. A bit confusing? Anyways, congrats with your debut. I’ve got uh.. A little surprise? Enjoy.

FIC MASTERLIST

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

"Park behind the building B, McLaren. I’ll have to deal with a separate matter, for now, call backup."

"Yes, miss."

Ring. Ring.

Your head pivots at the sound of your phone’s ringing, eagerly answering the call without having to look into the ID, knowing a thing or two about a certain someone’s timing.

“What’s going on so early in the morning?” Your father haggardly asks. You could already smell the stench of his morning breath from the car.

“We have trespassers in the Warehouse.” You start. “Two of them, partners. The duo we know as the Prowlers.”

“What?” You hear the morning grogginess laced in his voice. “Who leaked the information?”

“I’ve updated Morrison and he’s currently investigating the black market. I suspect a traitor.”

“Evidence?”

“There’d been no reports of outsiders entering the vicinity. All employees have been given fake addresses and all of their gadgets have been monitored— and so far, no one’s been flagged, so my guess is.. A higher up who’s sold us out.”

There you go.

“… I’ll look into it.” Your father mumbles. “Make sure that nothing is released into the media. The election is coming soon, we don’t want to do anything that’ll stir the public.”

“Understood.”

And the call ends just like that.

You blankly look at the road ahead of you, skin itching from the tightness and texture of your leather coat. Laid before your lap was a flat screen, in it were nine boxes— each playing a variety of scenes brought to you by the hidden cameras. Across every box, two swift figures maneuvered past the rooms with incredible ease. Several workers and scientists were sprawled across the jagged floors, motionless like corpses. You grimaced at the possibility of them being dead, but after seeing the thick gas emanating throughout every crevice of the building, you safely assumed that they were simply knocked out.

The Warehouse housed one of your father's investments; an Oscorp-Alchemax experiment funded by the elites, done underground and tested on prisoners to find some sort of super serum. When the new money folks thrusted themselves into the world of High society, most of the higher elites came to applaud the idea of one man.

Harry Osborn.

As a kid, you grew up aspiring to be like Harry. Always so friendly and approachable to anyone and everyone he’s ever met.

He did it so effortlessly that you recognized his niceness as a talent.

Harry came from second generation money— hailing this scientific empire called Oscorp. Having been brought up by his father, Norman, who was an industrialist, Harry was all things sciencey.

After his father's death, Harry sought out a blueprint of his father's past works, finding a journal containing the records of several hypotheses in regard to a variety of drugs. A sort of instruction to turn into a superhuman being, he claims, that his father had put into mind but never really practiced.

A handful of the higher-ups adored the impressionable idea, one of its primary investors being your father. You never really understood his reasons, but when the drug seemingly began showing fruitful results, your father set you up under Antonne's name to supervise Warehouse 317 after Harry entrusted your family to house the experiment.

So at that moment, you weren't you.

And Miles wasn't Miles.

He didn’t know what he was doing here. But he never bothered to really ask since his Uncle seemed tense all throughout the journey.

When Aaron told him to strap up for a sudden mission, he wasn't expecting a raid— nor was he expecting him to bring him to a hidden laboratory containing all these alien-like fuckeries. From glass beakers to drums filled to the brim with some sort of neon liquid, it all varied in levels of strangeness. Everywhere he looked, he could find the same circular, yellow warning sticker staring right back at him. Behind his digital mask, he skims past the unconscious workers— checking every crevice to see if anyone had escaped the incapacitating agent.

“According to the drive, the stuff are located in the north building.” His uncle’s voice snaps him out of the haze. “I’ll be heading there. I’m sure you can fend for yourself?”

“F’course I can,” Miles answered. “I can knock a bitch or two out with these.” He grinned while unfoldding his claw.

“You kiss your mama with that mouth? Watch yo tongue.”

“Yes, sir.”

Aaron pats his shoulder. “Record the evidence, I’ll go find the blueprints.”

With a single nod, Miles sets off with his mission in mind. When the holographic interface materializes from his wrist-mounted control panel, he activates the scanner with a light tap. The digitalized purple light cascades over the room, gathering physical data with each passing step.

He prided in his cut-edge tech— developed into great usage by his and his uncle’s hands. In a way, it reassured him that he had epically great potential, despite the current crisis going on in the city. But of course, his greatest pride was the fact that you liked the idea of the Prowler. That alone harbored him confidence he never knew he had.

Miles never initially thought of himself as a hero, no matter how much he’s worked to save the lower class of New York. Heroes existed in the confines of comic books and kids’ TV shows. He wasn’t super, and he wasn’t a hero either. The term was black and white. Narcissistic, as you would put it.

But he liked playing along to the idea of being a superhero to you.

He wanted you to gawk and admire his vigilante identity. He wanted you to look at the TV early in the morning with a mug of coffee in your hands, pointing at the screen with a squeal, ‘It’s the Prowler!’

Most of all, he wanted you to know about it eventually.

When he passes by the computers, Miles heads straight for the manila folders, unraveling his gauntlet just to grasp the files better.

[ 11 | 10 | 2020 ]

•[𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝: #𝟷𝟷𝟹𝟸] 𝙳𝚊𝚢 𝟻𝟼

𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎. 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛. 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜. 𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚡𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗.

𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝. 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝.

With the slightest jolt of his palm, the paper crumbles, and behind it sat another file. He peers through it diligently, only to find a name signed at the bottom.

And it crumples from the clamp of his fist.

Anthony Primo-Chávez.

The surname, Primo-Chávez, was the household name of the family who owns the Primm Hotel, and a single mention of it alone only reignited the anger he was sparing for the upcoming plans. All of the rage he kept to himself was seeping out the cracks of his still-grieving heart, and the grief remained a permanent scar.

And with a whisper of the wind, the warehouse falls into darkness.

There was this chill crawling up his back, and it haunted him. And in the silence that surrounded him, he calls out for his uncle.

And it echoes, and echoes. No one replies. Only the silence answered to his desperate calls. At that point, all that he could hear was the sound of his own heart beating out of his chest— a sort of morbid reminder that he was still alive. It made him wonder if that was all his father heard when he was trapped beneath the fallen carcass all those years ago. Just like that carcass, in the midst of all that darkness, screams begin to bellow.

Oh. One of the scientists have woken up.

But all Miles could picture was all what could’ve happened that night, when everything fell apart. Did they scream like this? Call out for help like this? Did his father struggle to breathe like this?

A lone light shines above the metal rails— a watch window, large and square, gleaming in this daunt violent that flickered and flickered. There was a figure there, dark, willowy, and invasive in the way it stared.

Unmoving, watching. A gaze that lingered like the chill running down his back.

What did they do in here?

Like a croak, the question bubbles up his throat and releases.

“Who are you?”

Like a growl, the voice changer emits the query a too many tones lower. At that question, the being tilts its head.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

Velvety, low, exhausted— and it oozed from the broadcaster mic like a tease. You stared at the Prowler, almost amused by his size. From above, he seemed much tinier, like less of a threat. You feel your breath cascade against the lenses of your gas mask, sweat sticking to the leather of your gloves. There, you see the digitalized magenta and the gleam of his steel claws, as though he meant to intimidate. You stood partially befuddled at the fact that the vigilante everyone revered and loathed was likely a teenager.

“… You don’t know what this place is, don’t you?”

Ｂ　Ｏ　Ｏ　Ｍ.

The wall beside him crumbles into dust.

Miles shields himself from the impact, the cement’s fumes blinding his sights. Upon the activation of his night vision, he searches in behind the violet screen, finding only his uncle emerging from the smoke and debris, rushing with a USB in his hands. Behind him, a flock of guards came rushing in with their ray guns— flames of red bursting into a shower as the man signaled him to run.

Miles casts a quick glance at the window above.

No one’s there.

“ＥＶＡＣＵＡＴＥ ＡＬＬ ＥＭＰＬＯＹＥＥＳ

ＩＭ ＭＥＤＩＡＴＥＬＹ. ＩＭ ＭＥＤＩＡＴＥＬＹ.”

The digital voice commands along with a blaring alarm.

The warehouse that housed this elaborate labyrinth, it continued on and on like a maze. Bland green tiles and white walls, glass screens— like a pattern he immediately grew to dislike. It all went on and on like a fever dream, but Miles’ head was ringing with the sight of the man he saw up the window.

And he lays it all out in his mind, trying to piece it altogether.

Ｂ　Ｏ　Ｏ　Ｍ．

The walls click and collapse, and the floors shake, but Miles doesn’t look back. The sound of the guards’ heavy stomps cease though, eventually replaced with a sort of screech that irked his ears.

It was unfamiliar to him. He’s faced over a hundred bad people, but only the sight of that being unsettled him more than the rest.

“Up ahead!”

He watches as his Uncle heads right out the window with a fall, the shards ricocheting behind him like specs of snow as he throws a carabiner right back at Miles to snatch. His fingers thinly reach for the cord when he’s suddenly assaulted to the ground with a powerful force.

Ｃ　Ｒ　Ａ　Ｓ　Ｈ.

“Agh!” He grumbles in pain, rolling down to the ground. But even then, it wasn’t the pain that made every hair on his limb stand, it was the sound of your heeled boots clicking against the tiles, and the sound of your metal blade scraping against the wall.

“Mornin’, Prowler.”

Exhaustion made the delivery deeper. He senses it in you, and you sense it him. Though he was unaware of what your head was actually filled of, I’ve got a lecture at nine, I still have to do my literature essay, and I want to sleep. Miles wasn’t all that interested at all in what your mind bore. To be fair, from where he was, Miles only saw this figure towering over him with a long knife poking out its sleeve. Some gas mask, and a black leather coat. Even then as you stood above him, he could only watch as you fixed your gloves, pulling farther beneath your sleeve.

“It’s an honor to meet you like this.”

Fwip. With a crisp cut, the cord that connected him to his partner was severed. You throw it out the window along with the metal piece. “I’m not so usually cruel, but you’re trespassing my family’s property—“

“So this is your family’s property.” He stands back up, hands aching to fight. “Primo-Chávez. As I recognized.”

He claws at you, but instead, the metal meets the end of your unsheathed blade with a clink!

“You’re smart.” And when you pull away, he stumbles backward. “Let’s see if that’ll save you.”

Crack! The walls quivered as Miles narrowly avoided the blade aimed for his neck. He raises his gauntlets, lunging right at you with swift punches, to which you countered gracefully with quick blocks. Eventually, he manages to take hold of your shoulders, shoving you back with feet tangled like knots. You lower down and hook your heel over his ankle, pulling with force as he falters.

You crack your neck, pressing your heel over his shoulder to keep him down. “I’ll be honest with you, I think you’re awfully underwhelming.” You lean down to his level, musing yourself in the way he heaved.

“But I can forgive all that.” Your fingers fiddle with the strap of his backpack. “You’re useful in a way—“

With a gauntlet over your neck, he slams you against the wall.

“I ain’t working for nobody,” He churned. “And I definitely won’t be fucking working for people like you.”

“I never said you had to work for me.” You calmly replied despite his grip. “You just have to make better decisions from now on.”

“Fuck you mean by that?”

From the ache your neck bore, you knew it was gonna leave a bruise.

“Aren’t you supposed to be smart?”

He furrows his brows at that statement, holding himself back as he taunts. “… I wonder how your father is going to abandon you once I set this little investment of his on fire.”

Rather than the silence or panic he hoped, Miles heard you laugh.

“Do it.” You playfully suggest. “Do it, and kill all the other interns, employees, and guards in here.” Despite your façade, he could still sense the smirk creeping up your lips. “Then think to yourself, ask yourself; are you any better than my family?”

That alone catches him by surprise.

“… You’ve got a lot to learn.”

“What do you m—“ Before he could even finish off his sentence, a powerful strike ricochets into his stomach, sending him off to the other wall. A loud grunt emanates from his lips, hands gripping the lower of his belly as you set your foot down. “The next time we meet, do promise me that you’ll be much more of a promising opponent. Today was.. Eventless.” Your gaze sets sights on the camera hidden in the corner.

“For now, I’ll have to let someone else do the job.”

As though on cue, you see his partner rush in with the broken cord in his hand. The same broken cord you’d thrown out. Without another word, he lunges at you with lightning speed, and the way you collide with the glass wall sends ripples across the corridor.

“You goddamn son of a bitch.”

“Long time no see.”

Ｃ　Ｒ　Ａ　Ｓ　Ｈ.

And from then on, Miles watches as this figure and his uncle battled amidst the labyrinth. But your words struck him hard, ‘Long time no see’— what did that mean? Did his uncle have a sort of connection to the elites, or has he worked for the upper class before?

With how his punches flew, Miles sensed this sort of undying rage that crackled with the quiver of his Uncle’s fist.

Why did this battle seem so natural? Like the two of them know each other’s moves too well.

“I see you’ve resigned.” You curtly brought up, grunting as he mercilessly charges at you. “And seems like you’ve brought a little something with you.” Upon the mention of Miles, Aaron struck back with a blow, feigning ignorance at your words. Despite your state, you managed to put up a great fight. “Why did you bring him here? He doesn’t seem fit for the job—“

“Stop the small talk, Antonne.”

Antonne.

Anthony Primo-Chávez.

“I’m simply being polite,” You grinned. “It’s been a while, don’t you think so too?”

With that alone, Miles somehow confirmed that the figure was the heir of the hotel in the flesh. The man responsible for the deaths of many— the man responsible for the death of his father. But something felt wrong, like a sense that was gnawing at his guts.

He couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly.

Just of now, Miles realizes that he had no place here, at least, not yet. But he was just as confused as the other guy, why did his uncle bring him here if it was too dangerous?

“Is your sister also a piece of shit like you?”

Sister?

“She’s a little more pacifist than all of us.”

You lie so naturally, it was like second-nature to you— as though it was your second, utterly ridiculous hobby next to scheming. To play the part of Antonne was excruciating enough, but it was enjoyable in a way. You haven’t seen the Prowler for about four years— last seeing him when you were twelve, when he worked for the Fisks until his abrupt resignation. Next thing you and the elite knew, the mercenary who once worked for the high-class was now a vigilante working against them.

No one particularly knew the reason why. You somewhat guessed what it was.

And when the both of you crashed past the danger zone, you knew that the situation was way beyond your grasps from this point on, and the best you could hope for was a perfect gamble.

The man grabs all that he could in his anger, from glass beakers to steel rods, he figures splashing you with whatever thing he could find can help in making you perish from his sights.

You fight back, without the usage of anything else except the blade, only until Aaron repeatedly smashes your head inside a closed-off frozen cage. The two of you fall right in, breaking some sort of container in the process.

“What the fuck?”

Like a flame, it sears your skin— causing you to panic and recklessly pat away at the tar-like substance enveloping you in its sticky embrace. Without even a shriek, it consumes your system entirely, sending you down on your knees.

And the next thing you know, everything else fades into black.

Aaron pulls away, in shock of the dark matter unveiling before him. Immediately, he places a hand over Miles’ eyes, ushering him away.

From afar, they could hear the police sirens coming.

“Let’s— let’s go.” Aaron hurriedly commands.

“Uncle Aaron.”

Miles exhaustively calls out to him.

“Uncle Aaron!”

As his mask unfolds, Miles squints as the sunlight seeping from the tall trees welcomes him, shielding his face with his hands while trudging across the stones to meet his Uncle’s steps. Aaron pauses for a moment, taking only one look back.

“Why’d you bring me there?” Miles directly starts. “I wasn’t strong enough to be there— who was that guy? How- How did you suddenly know about the location of the warehouse, how did— I don’t— I-I have school in three hours, I don’t get why you had to bring me along—“

“That girl you’re seeing,” Aaron intervenes without a waste of breath. “What’s her last name?”

Miles takes a step back, furrowing his brows.

“[L/n].”

Aaron nods. “… It’s the same as the file.”

“What?”

“Bring her to dinner.”

Now everything further confused him, what did you have to do with all of this?

“I-I can’t bring her to dinner yet— what do you mean part of the f— we haven’t even gone on a date yet!”

The date set for tomorrow. The trick-or-treating date Miles had always longed for. Aaron tosses his hand upward. “Just make it quick and let me meet her.” He commands in a rush, pacing his steps faster. “We’ve got to get moving before they find us.”

“But— I don’t get it. What does [Y/n] have to do with all of this?"

Aaron stops for a moment, looking up before heaving a long, jagged sigh.

“… I got a file last night. Sent by an anonymous number. Someone managed to take a picture of you and your girl earlier when you were walking her home.”

Hearing this, a bundle of worries begin to churn in Miles’ mind. This whole night enough was messy for him, and he couldn’t understand why things were getting so complicated. Like what Antonne said earlier, it was ingrained into his mind, Aren’t you supposed to be smart?

“Along with the pictures, I got sent a file. [Y/n] [L/n], is..” Aaron consequently looks into his nephew’s eyes, a sort of hesitation imbued in his system. “Somewhat connected to the Primos.”

Miles halts entirely, and over and over, like how he’s always asked for the last hour. “What?”

“I.. I’ll just tell you when we get home.”

It was many years ago, when your mother endowed this habit of sitting you down by her vanity just to comb your hair and fix you up like a doll.

At that time, you were a tiny little girl with tiny little legs that were unable to reach the floor, instead opting to dangle them with light kicks from your seat— thinking you were some kind of mermaid. During those times, you could only spot at least the whole of your head staring right back at you, but rather than yourself, you marveled at the sight of your mother and her clothes.

The colors she wore were patterned in dates. Mauve, pink, white, and sometimes vermilion in special occasions. Those were the days she used to pick out your clothes for you, and whenever you complained about the color being too bright or dull, your mother would claim that she'd know your colors the best.

As you got older, and when you started dressing for yourself, in the colors you liked, and in the sort of mauve and pink that suited you, you watched as your mother would stare at you from afar with an irate frown, and silently, you'd think to yourself.

Even in the way I rebel against you, you still see yourself in me, because when you look at me, you see only a mirror of your younger self grimacing in disgust. You'd come so far to convince yourself that you're at the height of your being, but your daughter and your child-self only sees mediocrity.

…

“Miss?”

A flurry of people. Lots of talking. You despised that.

“Miss, are you awake?”

“[Y/n], wake up this instant!”

And at your father’s instruction, your eyes peel open almost immediately. You’re greeted with the sight of the ceiling, and your skin covered in warmth. You look at yourself, finding bruises all over your arms, still wearing your white dress shirt and formal pants. Silently, you force yourself to sit up despite the ache you felt, wincing as you spot several faces surrounding you. There was your father, pacing back and forth, certainly distressed about something; Antonne, with his arms crossed, sitting by the edge of your bed; some physician, silently standing by the side with her hands clasped together; and Harry Osborn standing alongside her.

“What’s going on in here?” You haphazardly asked.

“You almost died.” Antonne stirs the silence. “The Warehouse was set on fire, and you were still inside.”

“The warehouse was set on fire!?” You jolt up, only now realizing the dirty looks from your father. “That’s impossible, how could—“

“There were traces of gasoline.” Emerging from the doors, your father approaches you with a sort of chagrin in his glare. “Since you failed to capture or at least slow down the perpetrators, that happened.”

“… You’re placing the blame on me?” You ask, hardly believing your ears.

“We’re not—“ Just as Harry’s about to speak, your father intervenes. “Yes, we are. Because of your incompetence, we lost millions worth of money in damages!”

“Sir, calm down.”

“Father, this is what I’ve been telling you about.” Antonne pinches the bridge of his nose. “She’s sixteen! How could she have possibly fought against a mercenary!?”

“I did better than you.” Poison spewed from your lips, losing all sort of rationality. “This has never happened before. Whenever there was something any of you asked me to do, I did my very best. How could I possibly perform my best when I lacked sleep and I was dependent on coffee!?”

“Your brother is right.”

Hearing that alone was a nightmare.

“Although you’re talented in upkeep and information, you’re too young to fight against an ex-assassin.”

You helplessly scramble off the bed. “Daddy, you’re being unfair.”

Daddy. It’s like you were a ten-year-old fighting for his attention once again. You looked at Antonne, and then your father, shifting in complacency. “I worked for three years, ceaselessly. Even if it meant giving up my weekends and studying so hard that it made my nose bleed. I got the job done, even if no one paid me or thanked me, I still did everything.”

“We’ve lost a lot of resources,” Harry begins. “And we’ve been brought back to square one because of the fire.”

Before Harry could even finish off his explanation, you lift a finger and point at him accusingly. “This is because one of your people decided to leak information—“ In between your rant, Antonne attempts to soothe you. “Had it not been for the fact that you decided to let untrusted people into the faction, we wouldn— stop it, Antonne— we wouldn’t be dealing with this sort of thing. Mother warned you about it, and you brushed off her every warning— STOP IT, ANTONNE!” You finally yelled out. Your brother ceases, lifting his hands off of you after he sees that you’re shaking.

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I being more emotional than usual?

The way the rage consumed you left you in dismay. At a short moment of epiphany, you run your hands across your face and, like a switch, all of your emotions reboot.

“I apologize. I spoke out of line.”

That line alone was chilling.

“I’m sorry, [Y/n].” The tender way Harry called out your name was unfathomable. “I know it’s upsetting that your job is being taken away from you, and you have every right to get upset. However, for your sake and your health, you can pass on these responsibilities to Montrell for now.”

“Montrell’s in London.” You add. “He can’t possibly take over—“

“He’s not in London.” Antonne confesses. You furrowed your brows, shaking your head. “What are you talking about?”

“… It was going to be a surprise but..”

Oh no.

“Oh,” You blankly state, your mind rioting. “I see.”

“It’s an unplanned decision, really,” Your father explains. “Montrell also has no idea that you’ve taken Antonne’s place in taking care of the hotel for the last three years. It’d be better for you, as well, to take a break.”

You wanted to scream, break down, curse at everyone.

“I’m sorry for being too harsh on you, [Y/n].” Harry eases, placing a hand over your shoulder. “However, you have to understand that it’s also for the best.”

“I understand.” Fuck you, and fuck all of you.

“We’ll leave you to rest for now.” Yeah, leave me the fuck alone before I melt the fuck down.

As they step out, all the tension in the room leave along with the squeak of their fine, leather dress shoes. You’re left with the silent physician, whose presence you’d completely forgotten despite the wildness of her dark curls. She shifts uncomfortably, parting her lips to speak, only to find that she didn’t know what to say.

“What is it?” You ask, lowering your voice so as to not intimidate. Prompting to break the silence in her place.

The woman blinks at you, somewhat relieved by your words.

“Can I be direct, Miss?” She sternly asks.

“It’ll be better off that way, frankly.”

She leans a little closer, tugging on the sleeve of your arm. “When you first got here, your body was riddled with cuts, bruises, and broken bones around— oh, can I touch you?”

You squirm. “I’m not a relic.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. Most of the rich people I’ve worked with were usually snobby douches who think their skin shed gold.” She subtly laughs, raising the fabric up higher. “Initially, I believed you were exactly that kind of rich kid, but after seeing what happened, you don’t seem like anything they say.”

You raise a brow. “.. Have we met each other before?”

She looked at you as though you’d just insulted her, her eyes about to pop off her thick-rimmed glasses.

“.. I work at Alchemax. I’m the head of the research team in the particle accelerator project— we’ve spoken many, many times before.”

“.. You’re not my physician?”

Her lips tighten into a line. “I take what I said back. You’re exactly like all those other rich kids.”

“W-well, I’m sorry.” You grumbled. “I work with a hundred different people almost every single day, my mind usually shuts down when I’m at work.”

“Well, your father did just drag me out of the line and forced me to fix you up since they didn’t want to risk calling for a doctor who doesn’t know that you’re parading as your brother.” She spoke so quickly, it made you rethink what she just said three times. “Anyways— I needed to tell you that under my observations, you’ve healed yourself in a supernaturally fast rate that it’s groundbreaking.”

“What?”

“Six hours ago, you had broken bones in here,” She points her fingers at your shoulder. “Here,” Followed by your thigh. “And here.” Then your calf. “But after seeing your little drama session with your father, you were able to move yourself without any sort of pain. Initially, I concluded that you must’ve had some very high pain tolerance, but I noticed that so many of your cuts and bruises have all been healed, and that,” Her fingers trace a line over your neck. “That was red as hell just moments ago. Now, it’s gone.”

Oh, the mark you got from Prowler Jr after he choked the hell out of you.

You liked calling him that. Prowler Jr— a smaller, rustier protégée of the Prowler you grew up with.

“.. I wonder why so.”

There was a wily grin on her face that unsettled you tremendously.

“Well, without your father looking, I ran a test on you.”

“You what?”

Without even a single second to lose, the woman takes out few samples from her bag, laying them all out before you with a couple of handwritten documents.

“Here.” She states so proudly.

You marveled at all that she’s written— unfortunately for you, her handwriting was so messily done that you couldn’t understand a single damn thing.

“… You could get sued for this, you know that?”

“Your father wouldn’t. Unlike his children, he can’t find a replacement for me.”

Your mouth hung in disbelief at what you just heard. Rather than acknowledging the insult, however, she plucks out a print of what you assumed were tiny splotches of black tar on a petri dish.

“What the hell is that?”

“I got that swabbed out of your mouth.”

“Oh fuck, I thought I’d dieted enough for the performance!”

“It’s not sweets, sweetheart.” She answered defeatedly, clearly full of your unsure-weaponized-incompetence. “It’s a mysterious symbiote that we’ve recently caught hold of four months ago, and during your fight with the Prowler, it forged itself into your system.” Her fingers trace down your arm, grasping the center of your wrist while grinning. “And it can make you do this.”

As she squeezes your hand, a black matter ejects from your palm. You jolt away, slapping her hand off as you curse.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?”

“The symbiote.” She casually replies. “Isn’t it amazing?”

It retreats like a slimey being, pushing itself back into your skin as though it’d all been a mere hallucination.

“You mean to tell me there’s some alien slime living inside my body!?”

“Well, yes—“

“GET IT OUT OF ME!”

She winces at the loudness of your voice, moving back an inch away. “That’ll take a while for me to dissect. You have to come to my lab tomorrow if you want me to find a way to pull that away from you.”

“I can’t go tomorrow.” You had a date with Miles, and that alone was reasonable enough to miss anything and everything else. “I-I have practice for the fundraiser on Sunday, and I’m still the hostess, so I have to make sure that the preparations are seamless.”

“… I have a comment, but I’m not sure if you’ll like it since you probably hear it all the time.”

“What? That I’m just like my mother?”

She scrunches her nose. “I was going to say that you’re too young to be acting so old.” The woman turns away, beginning to pack up her things again. “You’re sixteen. You should be going out to parties, creating fake IDs, sneaking out to make out with your boyfriend— whatever other shit girls your age like to do.”

You try your hardest not to react at the last mention, since that was definitely what you just did a few hours before. You begin to rub your hands, the friction warming you up as your shoulders shrug.

“Well, as much as I want to do all that, I’ve got too much to do.”

“You won’t be sixteen forever, Miss.” She tosses the bag over her shoulder. “Take that from me. I’m forty-six, and I’ve went through a lot. I’d give everything to be your age again.”

As you watch her head for the door, you call out to her one last time.

“.. Call me [Y/n]. I don’t like it when people way older than me call me ‘miss’.”

She raised her brows. “Alright then, [Y/n].” Your name rolls off her tongue gently.

“How about you? What do I call you?”

With a hand over the knob, the woman beamed.

“.. I’m Olivia Octavius, but you can call me Liv.”

#miles morales #astv x you #42 miles morales #42 miles morales x reader #astv x reader #astv miles #astv #astv x y/n #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #earth 42 miles morales x female reader #earth 42 miles x you #earth 42 prowler #earth 42 miles fluff #earth 42 miles morales x you #earth 42 miles x reader #miles 42 #earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles morales 1610 #prowler miles x reader #prowler miles #miles morales prowler #prowler x reader #atsv prowler #astv fanfic #spiderman astv

[builtbybrokenbells]

Gold Dust Woman | iv

Driven to the brink of insanity, y/n turns to her best friend for advice in her time of need. A Sunday brunch paired with day drinking leads to a world of new information she hopes will help her to better understand the new world she is caught up in.

Read part three here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader, sam kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 12.5k

Warnings: sexting, sort of phone sex I guess, dirty talk, name calling (ish?), pet names, touch of praise, teasing, drinking, swearing, gossip (is that a warning? idk anymore guys), mentions of cheating, but nothing super heavy for this chapter! sorry if i miss any!

in my hungover state I present you with this! I’ve been waiting to write this chapter literally since I’ve started this. it’s super important to the plot and I think clears up a lot of stuff!! plus it’s a good little summary of everything leading up to this chapter. also id just like to say a super sincere thank you for the love i have received on this series. it was a big step out of my comfort zone and i was really worried that it wouldn’t be enjoyed, but you guys are so kind and supportive. i <3 you all. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻

The tiny diner was overcrowded for its size, but still as welcoming as ever. Cheer and comfortability radiated through the air from the minute you stepped inside, never failing to brighten spirits. The small booth in the very back corner was routinely reserved for you and Danny on your Sunday outings. Brunch, always, but it was normally followed by some sort of wholesome activity to fill the afternoon. Then again, it didn’t matter what you were doing; time spent with Danny was always wholesome, and quite fulfilling. His friendship was one of your most prized possessions, mostly because you never really experienced anything like it before him. The conversation was never dull, radiating a type of safety that made you feel like you could tell him anything. Jokes were always well timed, advice was free-flowing, and a gesture of comfort was routinely available if needed.

Sundays were your favourite day, because you got the opportunity to spend time with him. Sometimes, the other boys would join, but that was rare. Even if they opted not to, you were fine with that, because you knew that the booth in the very back would always be reserved for two. That day was no different; you picked Danny up from his apartment at the usual time, and you both showed each other new music discoveries from the prior week. After the high stress of the weekend, you were happy to return to some type of normalcy, even if your regret for your careless decisions were constantly looming over you. When you arrived at the diner, the familiarity of the scene wrapped you up in a warm hug.

When you settled in to the seat, you placed your purse beside you and your phone face down on the table. The morning had started in a strange way, still leaving you frazzled hours later. After yesterdays activities, you had woken up tangled in the bed sheets and wrapped around Jake Kiszka. You never thought you would find yourself in such a state, but the reality of it was all too overwhelming to ignore. Although it wasn’t a bad start to the day, you were still aching with residual stress from the entirety of the situation. When he woke, too, the feeling seemed to wash away. There was a few hours where things seemed perfectly right, instead of troublesome; laughing and kissing your way through the earliest hours of your day, cooking breakfast and sharing cups of coffee along with stolen glances and smiles. It was beautiful in its own twisted way, making you genuinely believe you could spend the rest of your life doing just that. Once he’d left you on your lonesome, the guilt creeped back in like a disease, eating away at every part of you and taking you for its own. It had yet to satiate, even with Danny in front of you and a promise of a good day.

“You look terrible.” He stated, taking a sip out of the coffee mug the waitress had quickly delivered. Your eyes snapped up to him, shocked at the blunt statement.

“Thanks?” You furrowed your eyebrows, a small laugh stuck in your throat.

“No, not like that.” He corrected, placing his menu on the table. There was no need for it; you both had tried the entirety of the menu the restaurant offered, settling on your favourites long ago. “You always look pretty. I mean, you look like you just saw a ghost.” He was right, you couldn’t deny it. The bags under your eyes were darker than ever, skin pale and eyes distant. You were a mess, definitely looking like yourself but a mostly just a shell of it. It didn’t take a detective to figure that out.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, unsure of how to respond to his statement. “Guess I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” He shot back, his gaze unwavering. You shifted under the stare, feeling like he had already picked up on your predicament. You hated that about him; he always seemed to know there was something on your mind, even if you exhausted every way to hide it. It was just a Danny thing, and you had picked up on that long ago. He cared too much, noticed too much. Secrets didn’t exist around him, and perhaps that was why you were so excited for this particular outing, subconsciously hoping you might be able to get at least something off your chest.

“I don’t know if there’s enough time in the day.” You grumbled, taking a long sip of water from your cup. “I wouldn’t want to make your ears bleed.”

“I’ll strike you a deal.” He offered, causing you to look up at him. “Bottomless mimosas on me, and a shoulder to cry on.” You eyed him, nervous to agree but comforted at the thought of speaking your mind. “What’s said at brunch stays at brunch. I’ll drive home.” His invitation was very tempting. As much as you felt like you should keep the turmoil to yourself, the idea of advice or even just to confess your mistakes was overwhelmingly alluring. After a moment, you decided you would have to say something, even just an elusive idea to get some kind of answer to your internal debate.

“Deal, but it stays between us.” You finally said, realizing that if you didn’t speak your troubles aloud, they would eat you alive. Besides, there was nobody in the world that you trusted more than Danny. You knew you could probably confess murder and he would only ask how to help. “But my lips are sealed until those mimosa’s get here.” You smiled.

When the waitress came to check in and take orders, you both settled on a meal and Danny was sure not to forget your drinks. As you waited for her return, you struggled to arrange the thoughts in your brain. You had no idea how to explain the situation to him, or even where to begin. You were scared he would think differently of you, even though deep down, you knew he wouldn’t. The whole thing was sick and twisted, and you were so on edge that you thought you might combust. The last thing you wanted was to lose your friendship with Danny because of your inability to understand your own feelings. When the champagne flute was finally in front of you, your stomach churned with unease. You looked up to meet his eyes, but found he was already waiting in anticipation.

“So, what’s going on?” Before answering, you grabbed the glass and made quick work at finishing the liquid in one go. You figured you’d need the courage to tell this story.

“Remember that lesson we were talking about?” You asked, checking the flute to make sure you didn’t miss any alcohol before setting it back down.

“Vaguely,” he smirked “but I don’t think you ever told me exactly what it was.”

“Yeah, because I still have no idea what the fuck it is.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “I made a really big mess of things, and I have no idea how to fix it.”

“Okay, don’t panic. We can work through it together.” Your heart warmed at his words, feeling a little better just at the thought of his input. Even if he were to tell you that you were an idiot, you knew you deserved it. There had never been a time where advice from Danny hadn’t helped, even if it was only for a moment. And, although you hated to admit it, he was almost always right. “What kind of mess?”

“A big one.” You said, unable to find a better way to describe it. “I guess I probably have to go way back to the start for anything to make sense.” You sighed, placing your head in your hands. Your plan for keeping your feelings quiet had crumbled long ago; if you were going to tell him anything, you would have to explain it all. “The lesson was Sam. I’ve been in love with him for months.”

“Mhm,” Danny nodded, pausing his response as the waitress walked over to replace your drink. Once she was out of earshot, he spoke. “I had an idea.”

“Was it that obvious?” He quickly averted his eyes, not wanting you to see his face as he reacted to your question. You could tell he was trying not to laugh, finding your inquiry quite funny. “Oh, god.” You groaned.

“No, not exactly obvious.” He lied. You let out a groan, embarrassed that everybody seemed to know about your crush. “I don’t think he did, though. He’s pretty oblivious.” He comforted you, the second part of his statement much more genuine. “Why is that such a big deal?” You audibly laughed at his comment, realizing that he had no idea the extent of the problem.

“He never gave me any idea he liked me back. Flirted with girls at my house, acted like I was just another one of the guys. I never really felt like I meant anything more to him.” You explained. “And I was too much of a coward to say anything. Thought it was better if I kept everything a secret. I didn’t want to risk losing you guys as friends. I like you all too much.”

“We like you too, y/n.” He smiled, finding your worry silly. He knew that whatever happened, he still wanted to be your friend. You were his solace away from the chaos of his band mates, and to him, it was the best thing in the whole world. You gave him a soft smile, taking a moment to sip at your drink again. “No matter what, you’re always going to be my Sunday brunch date.” He assured you. You let out a long breath, now preparing to get into the deepest part of the conversation.

“So that night, after you and I talked, I figured that I had to snap out of it. I spent every weekend watching him, hoping he would make a move, or even give me some sort of hint that he acknowledged I existed in any way other than a friend. I was tired of waiting. I wanted to have fun, so I asked you to play beer pong.” He hummed an agreement, letting you know he was following. “And I partnered with Jake.” And what a grave mistake, that was. “I was drunk, and at first it was friendly, no different than usual. Then he started looking and talking to me different. It wasn’t bad, obviously, but he was very clearly flirting.” You paused, noticing the small smile he was fighting back. You tried to ignore it, not liking the way he was looking at you. “I was really drunk, and it felt really nice to be noticed. I shouldn’t have entertained it, but I did. I played along with him, thinking it was harmless. The game ended, we went out separate ways, and I figured that was the end of it. It should have been the end of it.”

“It wasn’t, though, was it?” You shook your head at his words. The conversation was stopped by plates of food in front of you and another replacement for your empty mimosa. You took a break from the grievous topic to have a bite to eat before continuing. After a few moments, you answered.

“Nope,” you sighed, popping the p to accentuate the impact. “We talked for a little while longer, then I went to the bathroom. Heard someone playing my guitar in my room, so of course I had to check.” You cursed yourself for not knowing better. “There he was, playing so well that it draws you in without a second thought, looking as pretty as ever.” He got a laugh out of your statement, never hearing two compliments sound so much like insults. “I joined him and we talked for a while, completely normal stuff.”

“You guys hooked up?”

“Ah!” You snapped, pressing your finger to your lips, silently telling him to keep his voice down. He let out a hearty laugh at your dramatics, knowing that nobody in the vicinity gave a single care about what you were talking about.

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yeah, sort of, I guess!” You said, exasperated at the thought of recalling that moment aloud, especially to someone so close with Jake. You took another long drink, hoping the alcohol would calm your nerves. “I went to bed, and I didn’t know what to think. Part of me was thrilled, but a bigger one never wanted to do it again. I felt so guilty, almost like I cheated on Sam even though he had no idea I liked him. How stupid is that?”

“It’s not stupid, y/n. I think it’s pretty normal, actually.” He shrugged. “We live in our own head, and when we like someone so much, especially for a long time, it kind of starts to feel real. I think you feeling guilty is actually more normal than not caring. Means you really do like him, and it’s not just a surface level thing.” The confirmation was nice, but also made you feel even worse. You felt as though you shouldn’t be allowed to have feelings for Sam anymore, especially after how you spent your morning. “I take it that’s not the end?” He chuckled, picking up on your sullen expression.

“No,” you groaned, burying your head in your hands again. “I wish it was, but no.” He reached over, looping his fingers around your wrist and gently pulling your hand away from your face. You glanced up at him through your eyelashes, noticing his smile.

“It’s okay. What’s said at brunch stays at brunch.” He promised. You gave a slight nod, letting your hand fall into his. He rested them on the table, giving yours a reassuring squeeze.

“When I woke up and only saw you three in the living room, I kind of thought he regretted it, too. Figured he sobered up and… yeah.” You laughed, not feeling a need to get into your insecurities. “I was nervous, still feeling pretty guilty, but we were all hungover so I just blamed it on that. Things felt normal for a minute, when we were all just sitting and falling asleep. Then he came back. From the minute I saw him, I knew he didn’t regret any of it. He gave me my coffee. My coffee, exactly how I order it. He remembered, and I don’t even think I’ve ever told him.” You mumbled, feeling a blush rise at the memory. “We ended up going to the basement, and nothing happened, really. We kissed and talked, and we kind of agreed he would stay after everyone left.”

“That doesn’t sound bad.” He reassured you. You narrowed your stare, causing him to back down instantly.

“Aside from the feelings thing, no.” You admitted, feeling bad for giving him such a harsh look. “While we were playing songs, everything felt fine. It was fun, I wasn’t nervous or worried about anything, and I thought that maybe things would be fine. I know Jake isn’t the bad guy; he’s not someone I wouldn’t want to fall in love with. I think I’d like it, actually, if the situation were that simple. He’s always been kind to me, he’s funny, he remembers things about me that nobody bothers to. He cares about the little things. He pays attention.”

“And Sam doesn’t.” He affirmed. You nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

“He never has. I feel like I wasted months loving someone who didn’t give a shit whether I was around or not.” Danny looked like he wanted to protest, but bit his tongue instead. It was your time to vent, and he wanted you to say what you needed without interruption. “I went to the kitchen to get more coffee, more comfortable with everything. I thought maybe if Jake and I spent enough time together, the feelings for Sam would just be… obsolete. I’m sure it would have worked, too. But, he just had to follow me.”

“Sam?” You nodded, giving him a bit of clarity. You were so worked up that you were rushing yourself through the story.

“Yeah, we just chatted for a minute, both drank our coffee like normal friends. Then he tried to hold my hand! And then tried to hint around that he liked me, too!”

“He did not,” Danny sat back in the booth, letting his head slump against the seat, internally cringing at his best friends terrible timing.

“Sure did! The whole confession was pretty funny, actually. Not to me, but definitely to someone! It was like god was sitting up in the sky laughing at me while it happened.”

“He’s so stupid.” Danny groaned, clearly exasperated himself. Danny was so unapologetic about his secret love of girl talk, and it made you incredibly happy. He really was your best friend in every sense of the word.

“Yeah, and I was a little pissed off! It made me feel like I was only worth loving when he was afraid he couldn’t have me. We argued for a few minutes, and he basically pried the confession about Jake out of me so he could use it for his own personal agenda! Then, he got this grand idea that he’d make it into a competition between him and and his brother to see who can win me over.” Danny gave a wince at the thought, already aware of Sam’s thought process before you even said it aloud. “I told him it was a bad idea, and I meant it. It is a terrible idea.” You clarified before telling him any more. After a few moments of silence, his eyes were urging you to continue. “We kissed.” You sighed. He let out another laugh, like what you had said was a joke rather than something you deeply regretted. His hand squeezed yours once more, another gesture of comfort. “What’s so funny?”

“No, no. You tell your story, I’ll talk later.” He assured you. With an air of discomfort, you accepted the deal, deciding to purge yourself of the last bit of the story so you could get it over with.

“It was fantastic. Something I’d been waiting forever to do. It almost felt wrong because it felt so right. So I planned on ending things with Jake. It was the right thing to do; I know if Sam had kissed me even a day sooner, there would have been no problem or conflict. I would have been over the moon.” Danny gave a hum, understanding what you meant, but not certain he agreed with it. Still, he held his thoughts back until you were finished. “You guys came in, and Sam left. Jake was still in the living room, because I told him to stay after everybody went home. I went in to talk to him, fully prepared to end things, but when I saw him, it was like it disappeared. He’s just so… captivating. Like, when I’m around him, he’s the only thing that exists.”

“Yeah, he does have a pretty big personality. Hard to ignore. He’s quiet, but I think that’s part of the charm.”

“Yep, because everything that comes out of his mouth is perfectly thought out.” You snipped, angry at the thought of his perfection. “He started talking, and he knew Sam and I had done something in the kitchen. I didn’t even have to say anything to him. There was a lot of back and fourth, kind of unimportant. I don’t even think I could explain it, anyway. But, he basically said that they both had feelings for me and they decided that they should both have a fair shot at winning me over. Isn’t that fucked up? That they decided that on their own, and didn’t tell me?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“That’s what I thought! Anyway, whatever. Doesn’t matter now, I guess. He said some cryptic shit and I told him to leave, but it was mostly just because I was pissed off. I don’t think I really wanted him to go. Like I said, it doesn’t matter, because he stayed the night, last night. He left before I came to pick you up.” You sat back in your seat, defeated still, even after talking through the whole thing. The words being spoken into the universe only seemed to make you feel worse about the predicament. The only hope you had left was that Danny would have some sort of miracle advice to help you out, but you didn’t want to keep your hopes too high. “I think Jake’s been feeling the same way about me as I feel about Sam.”

“Okay.” Danny said, showing you that he was sufficiently aware of your predicament. “My turn?”

“Please.” You urged, finishing the last of your drink. You barely had the glass back on the table before the waitress was there to replace it. You were starting to feel the buzz of the liquor, realizing that you were genuinely getting day-drunk just to forget about your own mistakes. You were at an all time low, you decided. Your usual attitude towards relationships had continually assured you protected yourself, never letting anyone get to close, and never falling for anybody too hard. It was lonely, but loneliness was much preferred to how you were feeling in that moment. Now, in addition to a broken heart and a guilty conscience, you were scared you were going to lose the only true friends you ever had.

“I’ve known Jake and Sam for a long time. It’s a blessing and a curse. I love them to death, they’re family. Fun to be around, great friends, all that mushy shit. But, after so many years, you pick up on the bad stuff, too.” You were intrigued, now. As the fourth glass of the heartache remedy slid down your throat, you felt yourself leaning in closer to the table, not expecting a response like such. You thought Danny would call you on your bullshit, tell you that you were an idiot. You prepared yourself for that, still, because the conversation wasn’t over. It was still a possibility, but you certainly didn’t think his advice would lead in with the Kiszka’s baggage.

“You mean to tell me they’re not perfect? That god didn’t hand craft them and put them on earth just to make the rest of us feel bad?” He had another hearty laugh, finding your tipsy smile hilarious. Your ability to joke even through your turmoil was heartwarming.

“Seems that way sometimes, but no. At least I don’t think so.” He reassured you. “Jake and Sam are a lot more alike than everyone thinks, and not just physically. Sometimes, they’re more alike than Jake and Josh, which is incredibly hard to do. I mean, they’re brothers, so it’s expected, I guess. I didn’t notice it when we were in high school, but Jake wasn’t around as often. Once we all graduated, we started making music and spending a lot of time together. I think that’s when I realized how similar they were.”

“Mhm,” you agreed, wholeheartedly believing him. The two were strikingly similar in lots of ways, despite a few blatant things that offset their shared traits. You could even tell through their touch, or the small interactions that left you guessing if they previously conspired what they were going to say to you, or if it was just their Kiszka nature.

“Their taste in girls has always been one of those things. Over the years, girlfriends or flings caught interest in the other brother, or vice versa, and it was always a bit messy. It seemed like if you fell for one of them, you’d eventually fall for both of them. Or if one of them fell for you, the other would, too. It’s really fucked up, actually.” He gave a little chuckle, trying his best to explain the observation. “They caught on to it pretty soon, and fought over it once or twice, but it never seemed to cause an issue between them. They’d be mad for a few days, then they would move on like it never happened. I don’t know if they accepted it, or if they just didn’t care. Personally, I couldn’t do what they do. It would drive me crazy.” He added, clearly letting on that whatever he was leading in to was common, very deeply rooted and still pressing. You could see in his eyes that the idea was unsettling to him. “For a year or so, whichever way it went, the other just admitted defeat and moved on.”

“Oh, wow.” You breathed, trying to wrap your head around his words. It felt like you were learning deep lore about them that you weren’t supposed to know.

“I wouldn’t be telling you all this if I felt like I shouldn’t be, but it seems like they’re back to their old ways. Trust me when I say it’s much harder on you than it is on them.” You nodded, agreeing with the statement. The whole twisted relationship had given you nothing but turmoil since it had begun, and you were desperate for insight on how to fix it. To them, it just seemed like another day’s work. “Our first real tour, Sam fell super hard for a girl we met at a bar one night. Like, I mean head over heels, stars in his eyes, the whole nine yards. He got her number, and they were in love before we even left the bar. They ended up getting together, and things were really great between them. She even came along with us for a few weeks. They were happy for a while, but then Sam let tour life get to him, I think. He fucked up, hooked up with a random girl and threw the whole thing in the garbage. It was absolutely his fault, and I’ll never defend him over it, but he was young and had no idea how to handle the fame, even if we weren’t that big back then. He seemed to cling to every bit of attention he got. I know he regretted it as soon as he realized what he did, but obviously it was too late. I don’t blame her for leaving.” He shrugged. You were watching intently, immersed in every word.

“Now, I don’t know for certain what happened. Nobody talks about it anymore, and we never really did back then, either. It’s in the past, and everybody wants to keep it that way. But, that girl ended up in Jake’s bed after the big blowout. I don’t know if she initiated it, or he instigated, but it didn’t really matter, anyway. Sam found out and went insane, and he wasn’t interested in knowing who started it. They fought, like really fought, fists and all. We thought that would be the end of the band; they didn’t speak to each other for weeks. Rehearsals and concerts were constantly tense. The girl wasn’t even in the picture, anymore, Sam just felt betrayed and Jake didn’t want to admit he was in the wrong. Before, I don’t think he was ever really in love with anybody, so it didn’t matter as much. But that time, Sam reached his breaking point.”

“Holy shit,” you didn’t care about anything else happening around you. The story was captivating; both boys were very closed off, never giving too much away about themselves. They’d always answer questions if asked, but you never really heard much about the past, especially relationships. You were realizing why, now. “Poor Sam.”

“I guess.” Danny shrugged. “In that situation, yeah, but he’s not innocent. After they made up, he never let it go. He wanted to get back at him, and he did. Ever since then, Jake never had a chance to have a relationship. The minute he showed interest in someone, Sam was already trying to win her over. At first, I think it was just a coincidence. They’re similar, they like the same type of girls, obviously that can cause some issues. After that, it was different. Clearly intentional and meant to be hurtful. I stopped feeling sorry for them a long time ago. They know what they’re doing, and neither of them want to be the bigger person and apologize. Over the years, it’s just grown into a big mess.”

“So that’s why they’re doing this?”

“Yeah.” He felt no need to lie. “They’ve always been competitive. It’s a brother thing. Sam more than Jake, really. I think it’s because he’s younger, maybe feels inadequate sometimes. But to be competitive over girls with real feelings… I don’t like it. After so long, they learned to take the loss and move on. Better luck next time, to them. They mope around for a few days and then they’re back to best friends like nothing ever happened. The girls always end up getting hurt in the end, and that’s the fucked up part. They can hurt their own feelings as much as they want, but I don’t think it’s right to do it to anyone else.”

“That’s why Jake knew what happened in the kitchen. And Sam was so certain he was going to win me over. They’re masters at the game.” The whole wicked, devil-like persona’s were making more sense, now. Every move was thought out, meticulously planned and executed with grace. They’ve been playing this game far longer than you’d even been a part of it, and you were curious if they even had real feelings at all, or if it was just a part of the spiteful process.

“Masters, I’m not sure about. Cocky and annoying, absolutely. I don’t care what they have against each other. They have to settle that between themselves, not bring anyone else into it. All of us consider you a friend. A best friend. What they’re doing hurts everyone, but clearly it’s been hurting you the most.” You finished your drink, looking around for the waitress to get another refill. You were in information overload, more questions and worries filling your head with every second that passed. He picked up on the nervous energy, giving your hand another small squeeze to bring you back to reality.

“Do you think they even care about me, or is it just to piss each other off?” His eyes widened, realizing how easily you could have interpreted that from his story.

“No, y/n, not like that. I can’t speak for certainty on everything, but I am pretty sure Jake’s head over heels for you. He always perks up when we talk about you, and he’s the first one ready when we’re going to your place. Most of the time, he’s begging us to hurry up. I can see it in his eyes. We all see it, and I think that’s why I got so excited when I saw you guys flirting on Friday. Hoped that he’d finally get the courage to make a move.”

“Okay,” you whispered, scared to ask anything about the other boy, unsure if you even wanted to know the answer.

“Sam likes you, too. He told me himself, and not just yesterday, either. I’m not picking a side, or trying to get you to choose. Just telling you what I think you need to know so you can stop beating yourself up.” He explained. “I don’t know why Sam didn’t speak up, sooner. I told him you liked him, gave him encouragement, but he never said anything. He acted like he was oblivious, but he knew. Everyone knows you have feelings for Sam. I love you, but it was obvious.” Your cheeks turned rosy, embarrassed at your own inability to hide your emotions. “I think they both really like you, and they were scared of the same thing. They didn’t want the other to steal you away, but they fell into routine again and they’re doing exactly what they wanted to avoid. When Sam saw you with Jake, It probably lit a old fire in him, which is why it all happened so fast.” As much as you wanted the knowledge to give you reassurance, it only made the dread grow even larger.

“I don’t know what to do, Danny.” You sighed, closing your eyes to ward off the stress headache. You retracted your hand from his, missing the comfort of the hold almost immediately. You brought your fingers to your temples and gently massaged the area, satiating the ache slightly. “I never should have started anything with Jake. I had feelings for Sam. It was selfish, and I know that.”

“I think you had feelings for him, too. Maybe you just didn’t realize it.” He offered. “It’s not like you to start something like that without any reason. Plus, like I said, if you like one of them… history tends to repeat itself.” He said, keeping the truth light.

“If I didn’t, I sure do now.” You let out a humourless laugh, pushing the food around on your plate with your fork. “I feel like I maybe put Sam on a pedestal because I had such a big crush on him. I always thought I was in love with him, but I was never with him. I didn’t know anything beyond the surface, never experienced anything more than friendship. Not even an idea. Now, I’ve been with Jake. I know him, and I feel like maybe what I felt for Sam was just infatuation.”

“Could have been.” He shrugged, unable to answer that one for you.

“But when I’m around him, both of them, actually, they have this pull, like the earth is forcing me into their arms. It’s impossible to think clearly with them around, and I think maybe I just have to take a step back to figure it out.”

“Good luck with that.” He joked, eyes drifting to your phone on the table. “Your phone’s been going off all day, and I’m pretty sure I have an idea who it is.” You couldn’t deny anything, mostly because you knew he was right. Intermittently, another vibration would sound, and you knew if you picked it up, it would be one of the brothers you were trying so hard to ignore. “I don’t care if you ignore them, as long as I still get to see you. Wouldn’t give up our brunch dates for the world.” He sent a playful wink your way.

“Let’s just run away, get married and have mimosa’s for the rest of our lives on a cute little porch while we watch the sunset.” You grinned. “Don’t have to worry about anything ever again.”

“Don’t tempt me,” he smirked. “If I get involved in this, I’m definitely winning.” You both shared a fit of giggles, happy to ease the tension with light jokes. “But seriously, if that’s what you want to do, do it. I know how hard on the head they can be normally, so I can’t imagine what it’s like being in your position.” He sympathized. “It’s not fair to you. I think maybe that’s why Jake tried to be so secretive about it, he wanted to make the move and start something before Sam could get involved. But, it’s like some weird brother thing; they can always tell.”

“I don’t know what to do. I feel like I ignored too many lessons, and the universe is super mad at me right now.” You sighed, your attention grabbed by the waitress dropping another drink off. You mumbled a small thank you before she disappeared again. “I like them both, but I don’t want to hurt either of them. I don’t want to get hurt. The whole thing is fucked up.”

“May I offer my opinion?” He asked, mischief laced in his tone. You gave a nod, figuring that anything would help at this point. “I don’t think you’re going to hurt them nearly as bad as you think.” He assured you. “Yeah, obviously, however this goes, someone is bound to be disappointed, but they’ve been playing this game for years. If you like both of them, play the game with them.”

“Encourage it?” You were in disbelief that he would even suggest it.

“Yep.” He confirmed, no hesitation in his voice. “Listen, they started this whole thing. They think it’s okay to play with your feelings, so play with theirs, instead. Maybe teach them a lesson.” He explained. “Don’t let them run things. You’re in control here, even if you don’t think you are. Have fun with them, and hopefully they’ll see what they’re doing is wrong.”

“You’re evil, Daniel.” You contemplated the idea while finishing your final mimosa, feeling positively tipsy.

“No, just think it’s time they got some karma. They have to learn eventually, they can’t do this for the rest of their lives.” He said, throwing his cutlery and napkins on his plate. “As long as you think you can do it without hurting your own feelings.”

“I’m so pissed off at them that I don’t even care about that.” You chuckled, but it wasn’t funny. The statement was completely truthful.

“So teach them, and then we can eat our brunch in peace. When you do, hopefully they’ll never do it again.” You weren’t expecting Danny to side with you in the matter, but you especially weren’t expecting for him to cheer you on. As you listened to his story of the years he spent dealing with them, you understood why he was telling you to do it. Knowing Danny, you could only assume that there had been many instances where he had to do damage control because of Jake and Sam’s childish behaviour, and he was sick of it. Plus, he seemed quite annoyed with the amount of broken hearts that have ensued because of the brothers tyranny.

Part of you thought it was crazy, that there was no way you could do that to the boys. The other, angrier part of you thought it was a great idea. After only two days of turmoil caused by their behaviour, you were in shambles. Now, knowing that they were completely aware of their own actions, you had no issue handing it right back to them. “Okay.” You agreed. The liquor definitely had an impact on your decision making, but not enough for you to worry about it.

“There. Problem solved.” He smiled. “Maybe that lesson you were dreading wasn’t really your lesson after all.”

You both left the diner with a little more pep in your step than before. Your fears were settled, but not fully resolved. Still, the sense of doom that was looming over you seemed to ease up, and you accredited it solely to Danny. Without his words, you would still be drowning in your own misery. You spotted your car, making a move to get in the drivers seat. As you reached for the handle, you paused yourself, realizing that you were in no state to drive. You reached into your purse, fishing out your keys, and turned to see Danny already holding his hand out for them.

“All yours,” you said, dropping them in his palm. “Forgot.” You let out a giggle.

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes, sending a playful smile your way. You walked to the other side of the vehicle, getting in to the passenger side. Once you had your seatbelt buckled, he began the journey home. You connected your phone to the speaker, clumsily tapping the screen to unlock it. You hit shuffle on your playlist, not having the mind to scroll through and pick a song.

You turned your head towards the window, letting your eyes take in the sights as you passed by. Your mind was spinning with thoughts, but none stuck out as they passed through. Most were a jumble of topics from the previous day’s events, no coherent nature to them. You wanted to check your missed messages, just to see what they’d been saying, but you couldn’t find the strength to do so. You were angry, still, upset that they had no issue involving you in their mess and seemed to have no remorse over it. Even so, the urge to talk to them, to be with them, touched by them, was growing more urgent by the second.

Danny was right; it would be impossible to ignore them. That left you with two choices; play along, or let them play with you and get hurt in the process. You still weren’t certain that the first option would keep your feelings safe, but it was worth a try. Even if it didn’t, hopefully it would ensure neither would pull a stunt like such ever again. “I think I drank too much.” You stated, another giggle laced in your words. He glanced over at you from the drivers seat, giving you a grin.

“Guess that was my fault.” He chuckled.

“No,” you shook your head, smiling softly. “You helped, a lot.”

“I’m glad.” He replied, turning down the street your home was nestled on. “I’m always available for free therapy and alcohol.”

“I always appreciate it. I appreciate you.” You said, watching your driveway creep into sight.

“I appreciate you, bug.” He shot back without missing a beat. The pet name made your heart warm with affection. He really was your best friend, always your biggest comfort and favourite person. Nobody else compared to him, and you hoped that no matter how the situation played out, you’d still have him by your side. A small, selfish part of you wondered why you couldn’t just fall for him; he was funny, sweet, and genuine. Any time spent with him was worth more than the world, and he was beautiful, too. For some reason, it was written in the stars that he was to be your best friend, but that was more than okay. A life with Danny as your best friend was a certain promise of a good one. As much as it sucked dancing with the devil, or the Kiszka brothers, rather, it was meant to be. Even while you wished it away, hoped you could fall out of their grasp and into someone else’s, there was a part of you that loved being loved by them.

He parked your car in its usual spot, getting out to open your door for you. He walked you to the house, stepping inside and closing the door behind you. You both went to the living room, collapsing on the couch with exhaustion, as if you’d just ran a marathon. “You’re stuck here.” You laughed, finally realizing that he didn’t have his own car with him.

“I’ll call a cab, don’t worry.” He assured you, grabbing his phone to do just that. As he found himself busy telling the company the address, you reached over to the chair beside the couch, grabbing the acoustic guitar Jake had been playing earlier that morning. As he hung up the call, you plucked at the strings mindlessly, eventually switching to a chord progression that you had grown to know very well. “Dinner and a show?” He teased, still in awe that you had hidden your talent for so long.

“You know, it would be a lot of fun to come with you guys.” You thought aloud, dismissing his joke.

“You should.” He affirmed your idea. “Even if you just came for a part of the tour.” You let out a low hum, letting him know you heard him without having to respond. Instead of pushing you further, he leaned back into the couch and watched you as you played. Once you were certain he wasn’t going to speak again, you began to sing along to the music, to the song you loved so much. Jake had pegged it as your nickname, and at first it was endearing, but the more you listened to it, the more the words resonated with the ache settled deep in your chest.

“Rock on, Gold Dust Woman

Take your silver spoon, dig your grave” you looked to the fretboard, feeling the need to focus harder because of the alcohol swarming in your system.

“Heartless challenge, pick your path and I’ll pray

Wake up in the morning, see your sunrise loves to go down

Lousy lovers pick their prey but they never cry out loud.“

You sang the rest of the song, breathless by the time you were finished. Danny had a smile stuck on his lips, understanding that sooner or later you would agree to their offer. He could tell how badly you wanted to say yes, but your anxiety was holding you back. You were thinking of the offer, too, but something more pressing came to kind in light of the song choice. Or the mimosas. Or both, maybe. You weren’t sure. Either way, Jake Kiszka had inevitably made his appearance in your thoughts once more, but it wasn’t like he had left in the first place. His presence was always existing within your brain somewhere, even if it wasn’t at the forefront.

It was horrid, never being able to escape him, but it was phenomenal all at the same time. In the last twenty-for hours, he helped you feel more alive than you ever had before. His touch was still lingering in your skin, electrifying every nerve. The memory was fantastic, but nothing compared to the real thing. He was addicting; his company was no longer a want, but necessary for survival. You wondered if you would ever be able to live without it, quickly realizing that you never wanted to find out. Before, the thought of not having Jake around was terrifying, but after having him so intimately, the idea was debilitating, stealing the air from your lungs and crushing you under its weight.

“I could listen to you sing all day, but I gotta run.” Danny broke you from your thoughts. “Plans for tonight, can’t get out of them.”

“Cheating on me, Daniel?” You let out a tsk, showing your displeasure. He let out a laugh, shaking his head.

“Could never do that to you, darling.” He said, as dramatically as possible. You put the guitar to the side, standing up with him so you could give him a proper goodbye. You pulled him into a hug a bit tighter than usual, catching him off guard. It only took him a second to return the gesture, wrapping you in an aura of comfort.

“Thank you for everything. I feel a lot better.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He assured you. “I love you, and I’ll talk to you soon?” You nodded, head still pressed to his chest.

“I love you.” You said, parting ways with him. “And yeah, I’ll update you.” You smiled, your secret plan solidified by your words.

“Give them hell.” He said, a tone of pleading hidden in the joke. With a wave, he disappeared around the corner and the front door sounded a moment later. The second the door shut, the emptiness of the home already started to seep in.

You gathered your thoughts, shaking away the haunting feeling of seclusion, and made your way to your bedroom. Once inside, you switched the power on to your record player, resuming whichever vinyl you had left from this morning. You let your eyes flutter closed at the hum of the song cutting through the silence. Another vibration from your phone caught your attention, suddenly remembering the messages you had intended to ignore. Now, with Danny’s words sounding in your mind, and your first chance at alone-time, you channeled a new courage to reply. Your fingers pulled the phone from your pocket, eyes immediately drifting over the screen. There were a few texts from your own band mates, and when they could come over to practice. You made a mental note to respond to them later. You moved on, seeing Sam’s name adorned on a missed call. You opted to focus on him later, your eyes seeking the contact you wanted to deal with first.

The notification bar from Jake had three messages. When you tapped them, you expected to be met with filthy words to fuel your desire to get back at him. Instead, the first was a small message of thanks for letting him stay the night prior, confessing his enjoyment. It was simple, not detailed, but enough to make your heart beat a little faster and a blush to make its way onto your cheeks. The second message was a well wish for your lunch date with Danny, saying he hoped you had a good time. The third was much different, more on par with what you had expected from him.

Jacob

Let me know when you want to share some more secrets, Gold Dust Woman

You felt a surge of emotion rush to your stomach, the words so simple, but the feeling so large. It was so easy to give in to him; he barely had to look your way and you were jumping at the chance to be noticed by him. It was crazy how fast the dynamic changed, how quickly he became so important to you. Without a second thought, you were already typing a response.

You

What kind of secrets would you like me to share, Jacob?

You hit send, not expecting a response considering you had waited so long to reply. Before you could even shut the screen off, the text bubble appeared on the screen, signifying his presence in the chat. A smirk pulled at the corner of your lips, happy to see that he was on your hook just as much as you were on his.

Jacob

I can think of a few

You

I’m sure you can. Care to elaborate?

His response was almost immediate, as if he’d pre-typed the words in anticipation of your question.

Jacob

Still wearing that red thong from earlier, or was that just to show off?

You enacted a plan as soon as the text was delivered and you processed what it said. You threw your phone on your bed, quickly shimmying out of your clothes and discarding them on the floor. The alcohol was still buzzing through your veins, your decisions heavily reliant on the false confidence the champagne bestowed upon you. You retrieved your phone, making a move to stand before the mirror on the opposite side of your room. You pulled up your camera, taking a few pictures from different angles, clearly showcasing the red fabric he was so curious about. The pictures that included the matching bra was just out of generosity.

You sifted through the pictures in your camera roll, picking the ones you thought were the best. You swiped back into his chat, reading his message over again. Instead of saying anything else, you sent the few photos you deemed acceptable. You went to the kitchen, unable to find a care to put your clothes back on, and turned your phone screen off. You scoured the fridge, finding a bottle of wine unopened and patiently awaiting your arrival. As you poured yourself a glass, you listened to the repetitive vibrations of incoming text messages. You looked to the clock on the wall, noting the time. Then, you took a seat in a chair and enjoyed the beverage you had fixed for yourself.

After a few moments, the texts ceased, leaving you to sit in silence and ponder your actions. You sipped away at the bitter liquid, refusing to give in to the temptation of answering him. When your glass was half empty, the vibrations resumed. This time, it was an incoming call. The ticking of the clock caught your attention, realizing you’d left him on edge for about fifteen minutes. You figured if you let it go much longer, he would show up at your front door. The thought itself wasn’t terrible, and you certainly wouldn’t mind the company, but you decided you wouldn’t push him that far. His incoming call ended, but it wasn’t long before another one sounded. With a smile on your lips, you picked up your phone and accepted his attempt to reach you.

“Hi,” you said, cheerily, as if you had no idea he had been blowing up your phone. “What’s up?”

“Ignoring me, sweetheart?” His voice was low, no angry tone or hint of annoyance. The soft inquiry sent a rush of arousal through you, just knowing that you had bothered him so badly was enough to send you spiralling.

“Why would I do that?” You asked, tipsiness laced in your voice. He picked up on it almost immediately, thinking your new-found confidence was a result of the alcohol. In truth, he wasn’t completely wrong. Although you and Danny had devised the plan, the execution was heavily reliant on intoxication. For some reason, sobriety did not help your case with either brother. Their charm and wit held you in a chokehold, any time you had the courage to retaliate, they made another move to make you submit. Despite your lack of control, it was still quite enjoyable. Now that tables had turned, that he was the one sitting and thinking about you and slowly driving himself to insanity, you had to admit that it was enjoyable, too. Maybe even more so, if you had to choose.

“Don’t be a tease, angel.” He hummed, the sound of his voice through the phone sending a shiver through you. You thought you might give in, throw the act away and beg for him to come over, but you bit your tongue and powered through.

“I thought that’s what you wanted to see, baby.” You played innocent, taking another sip of wine to keep the spirits high. Your head was buzzing, swimming with many thoughts. Most were filthy, focused mainly on how badly you wished he was in front of you, rather than on the phone. It was ridiculous how fast he consumed your entire being. Thoughts of his hands, his tongue, and how good they felt when they were on you. You missed him, even if you opted not to say it aloud. It had only been a few hours, but it was much too long for your liking. “Was that what you wanted, Jacob?”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, bothered by your use of the pet name, bothered by the sultry tone you were speaking in. A smirk formed on the corner of your lips, cocky enough to know that you had power over him, too. “Yeah, it was, baby.” He conceded, unwilling to argue the point. “You still didn’t answer my question.” He stated, not willing to let you off the hook so easily.

“What was your question?” You asked, one last attempt to get under his skin. He let in a long breath, trying his best to stay calm while you made it a point to piss him off.

“Why were you ignoring me, angel?” He was heavy on the terms of endearment, leaving you unsure if it was because they were genuine, or if he was using them to coerce an answer from you.

“Wanted to piss you off.” You admitted, feeling no need to lie to him. “Did it work?”

“Mhm,” he mumbled his response wordlessly. Even without an explicit affirmation, you could tell it did just by his tone change. He had expected the answer, but it didn’t seem to make him feel any better. “Didn’t know you were such a brat.” He noted.

“Maybe you just bring out the worst in me.” You snipped back almost immediately. He let out a chuckle, but it wasn’t because he thought your words were humorous. It radiated a tone of shock, as if he was trying to tell you that you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

“Careful, sweetheart.” He warned. “Don’t make me come over there and fuck that attitude out of you.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You teased. He could hear the smile on your lips through your words, making it difficult for him to keep up with the act. He found your joy infectious, and the teasing fun, in a greater sense than just sexual. He enjoyed all conversations shared with you, even if there was no sexual gratification. He just loved being around you.

“I would, but I don’t think you would.” He said, simple enough to get the point across, but powerful enough to worsen the growing ache between your legs.

“Maybe you’re the sadist.” You theorized, throwing his own idea back in his face. If only he knew how badly you lived to please him, his previous accusations of sadism would be laughable.

“You’ll have to wait and see. I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.” His voice was soothing, even if the topic was filthy. You could listen to him speak all night and never get bored. He was devastatingly perfect, and he made it easier to fall for him every time he opened his mouth. Without thought, you opened your mouth to speak, letting the wine take control of the conversation.

“I miss you.” The statement was quiet, but impactful. In reality, the three words were barely loud enough to catch a normal listeners attention, but the sound was deafening, to him. When you were met with silence, a fizzle of regret formed in your chest, wondering if you took it too far. You would take it back, pretend you never said it or bury it so deep down that could never surface again, just to ensure he wouldn’t hang up the phone; the last thing you wanted was to scare him away.

Although drunk, your feelings were true. You did miss him: you wanted to stay wrapped up in him forever, whether it be just with basic comfort or with sexual nature. You didn’t care, as long as he was with you. In three days, his presence had not only caught your attention, but made home within the walls of your house. Feelings for him were blossoming from every angle, immersing you within them and tying you down with their roots. It only took three days for Jake to make you a fool for him, three days to produce a feeling that rivalled your feelings for Sam. If you thought you were in too deep before, you were drowning, now.

That’s the funny thing about love; it cares little about who it’s next victim is, only about the fatalities it leaves in its wake.

Despite equal consent to the game, fatality was most definitely the prize. By choosing to be ignorant to risk, all three of you willingly sealed your own fate. No amount of repent could save you from the consequences. Deep down, you were well aware of that fact, but the sin was so pleasurable that it no longer mattered.

“I miss you, Gold Dust Woman.” The words only solidified your desire to ignore the risk. It was the most beautiful statement you had ever heard, and it was laced with sincerity. Imbedded with so much emotion that it made your head spin, wondering if it was even possible for someone to speak with such unwavering clarity. As if he, too, realized the extent of his vulnerability, he quickly spoke to cover it. “I miss being inside you, more.” The sweet tone quickly turned into one of desire, but both of you knew it was a lie. He desperately missed the mornings activities, his arms wrapped around your waist with a kiss placed to your neck while the smell of coffee lingered in the air. Smiling and laughing, singing along and poorly dancing to the hum of the record player. Taking turns playing guitar for each other, him dedicating every song to you but leaving it unspoken. He missed the moments of silence, more comfortable than any other, where he could hear your breathing steady while your eyes fluttered closed, enticed by the idea of falling back into a slumber. He missed the fleeting feeling of you being his, and his alone. Even if the idea wasn’t wholly truthful, he liked to pretend it was.

And in a way, you were. Every part of you belonged to him in some sense, even if other forces were trying to pull you away. But neither of you would ever speak those thoughts aloud, scared of the same things, even if the ones you focused on were not the biggest threats. Instead, you played along, sad that he felt the need to discredit such a genuine confession, but relieved that you didn’t have to explain your own. You both fell in step with the devil once again, ignoring the ache in your hearts and covering it with animalistic attraction and half-truths. If only you could both hear how loud he was laughing, pleased that you carried on just how the devil intends.

“You know there’s always a place for you between my legs, baby.” You whispered, the low tone shaking him to his core, settling in his bones and breaking them under the weight of the statement. It was unspoken that the confessions of emotion would be ignored, as always. It was just the way things were. You could practically hear his need for you through the phone, even if he didn’t say anything.

“Is that what you want?” He posed the question in a derogatory manner, as if he was trying to make you to feel shameful for wanting him so badly. You could see through it, knowing that he just wanted to hear you admit your desperation for him. “You want me, baby?”

“Mhm,” You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. As you realized that, you also realized how badly you wished you could see him. Before responding any further, you clicked the FaceTime icon on his contact. Within seconds, he accepted. The screen lit up with his face, immediately giving you a sense of relief. You took in the sight, noting he was sitting in his living room. You had only been to his apartment a handful of times, but you knew it well enough to recognize it. “Hi,” you smiled, almost forgetting the nature of the conversation.

“Hi, beautiful.” He disregarded the vulgarity for a moment, too, just so he could admire you. The blush that spread across your cheeks caused a smile to break out on his lips, too. He noted the wine glass in the frame before his eyes inevitably landed on your attire, the adoration in his eyes quickly fading into lust. The distant look let you know that he was already imagining what was beneath the flimsy red fabric. Remembering what lie beneath. As much as his expression enticed you, you couldn’t let him get away with it without making a comment.

“Eyes up here, Jacob.” You scolded, catching his attention again.

“Expect me not to stare when you look like that?” He asked, a smile still lingering on his lips. “Sadist.” He smirked, the word bouncing between you both, accompanied by pointed fingers and accusatory tones. Perhaps both of you were the sadists by continuing your entanglement without caution or worry about the future.

“I know how much you love the red, but I think you’ll love what’s underneath it, more.” You said, eyes never leaving his face. You could see the muscle in his jaw tense at the thought, proving you were correct.

“I think red is your colour, sweetheart.” He noted, disregarding your words. As bad as he wanted you to remove the clothing, he’d be caught dead before admitting you were right. “Sit back, baby. Let me see the rest of you.” The order was firm, making sure you knew that it was not a request. You propped your phone against the wine bottle, obeying the instructions and leaning back in your chair, allowing him a better view. He let out a sigh, content with the sight of your mostly exposed upper body.

“Like this?” You asked, bringing your hand to your chest and gently running your fingers over the edge of the cup on your bra, gently pulling it down in the process. It was enough to tease him, but not enough to show him what he was hoping to see. You let your finger linger for a second before releasing the hold. The fabric drifted back to its original position and you let your fingers trail down your bare torso.

“Just like that.” He affirmed, visibly bothered by the show you were putting on. “Be a good girl and take that off for me.” His plea was covered with dominance in attempt to hide his neediness, but it wasn’t working. Part of you wanted to give into the request; with the way he was looking at you, it was hard to want to deny him of anything. But, that little devil in your head was as angry as ever, now fuelled by the knowledge Danny had given you.

“Come over and take it off yourself.” You replied, trying to remain unbothered by his pet names. His eyes flashed with discontent, fed up with your continuous disobedience.

“You want me to come over?” He asked, playing into whatever game you were trying to start with him. You gave a nod, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to withstand the temptation for much longer. “You need someone to take care of that ache between your legs? To make you feel so good that you can’t remember your own name?” His tone was soft, sympathetic almost, but the flame ablaze behind his pupil and the slight tension in his jaw led you to believe he was being quite misleading.

“Yes, please.” You pleaded, ignoring your worry about his honesty. The arousal pooling between your legs was beginning to feel uncomfortable, like a constant, dull pain that would eventually drive you crazy. Something about Jake always led you to believe that life without him would lead you to the brink of insanity. The constant talk of want, or desire was quite minimal compared to how you truly felt about him. Necessity was closer to correct, depending on his touch more than your own heartbeat to keep you alive.

“You need someone to take care of that pretty little cunt,” he deducted, taking in a long breath at the sound of his own words. He was just as worked up as you, debating throwing his plan in the garbage and getting in his car that instant. “And you know I’m the only one who knows how to do it right.” He finished, finding the strength to stay seated and continue his merciless taunts.

“Please come over, baby. I need you so bad.” The words slipped out easier than any you had said before, the strength you had to endure his words was breaking apart every time he opened his mouth.

“I know, angel.” He hummed, soothing you for just a moment. You thought he was going to give in, to tell you he would be there in a minute, but when he spoke again, you wish you’d never started the battle in the first place. “I want to help you out, but you haven’t been very good for me. Being a tease doesn’t get you what you want, baby. You know that.”

“Jake, please. I’m sorry.” You begged, that feeling of familiar dread filling your stomach. “I’ll be good for you, I promise.”

“If I give you what you want, you won’t learn anything.” The irritation that grew from the smirk he was wearing was unbearable. You couldn’t genuinely believe that after the entire call, he would have the nerve to deny either of you the pleasure of spending another night together. “Go take care of yourself, sweetheart. Just think of me when you do.” Your teeth were clenched, frustrated that your efforts seemed to have no effect on him.

“Just come over, baby.” You tried once more, but his mind was made up.

“If you do what I say and behave, I might come and see you later.” So that was his plan; like always, he was willing to give in, but he felt the need to ensure you would suffer, first. “Another picture might help, too.” He sent a wink your way, so subtle that you almost missed it. Before you had a chance to respond, he had ended the call and you were met with the disappointing sight of your screensaver, wishing you had one more minute to admire the sight of his face.

You had two options: deal with the issue yourself, wait it out and hope he would feel generous enough to pay you a visit after a while, or call a cab and go to him, first. As much as the second option was tempting, you knew if you did so, it would only fuel his ego even further. He was well aware of the power he held over you, and running to him would only solidify the idea in his mind. Waiting to see if he would come over might do the same, but at least you would have the upper hand. By the time he showed up, your overwhelming need for him would have time to simmer. Then, you could give him a taste of his own medicine.

So you sat, sipping away at your wine, thinking that it wouldn’t be too difficult to wait it out. The closer the bottle got to empty, the more confident you felt about the situation. If he wanted to be an asshole, you could be, too. His request for more pictures would go unanswered, and he would have to give in. Even in your drunken state, you were aware of the power you had over him, too. Confidence did not equal satisfaction, though. You nursed the last of your wine until he showed up, or until you found something better to do, quickly realizing that time would not satisfy your craving for him. With every minute that passed, you hoped the feeling would fizzle away, but the more you ignored it, the worse it seemed to get.

Eventually, as you drained the last few drops of your glass for the second time (you had to make sure it was completely empty, of course), you heard a knock sound at the front door. A jolt of energy surged through you, realizing you had won the battle without putting any effort in at all. You stood, leaving the empty bottle on the table for decoration, and wasted no time following the sound of the knock. When you reached the front door, you ran your hand through your hair, straightening yourself out to look the best you could for him. Before opening the door, you ever so slightly peeked through the blinds.

In your drunken state, it seemed blatantly obvious that it was Jake standing outside. The tuft of brown hair that caught your eye was so familiar, immediately showering you with relief. But, if you looked for a moment longer, you might have clued in that opening the door in your current attire was a mistake. Had sobriety been in the question, you would have noticed the distinctive difference, how the body was taller, a bit more slender than the boy you were looking for. Maybe, it was possible you did notice, but we’re too blinded by excitement to cognitively understand that Jake was not the one knocking on your door. You wished to see him so badly that you overlooked any possibility of it not being him standing there.

When the door creaked open, you had a smirk on your lips, ready to throw his bluff back in his face. Instead of grasping the feeling of satisfaction for Jake’s failure, dread bled into every nerve in your body. It took a moment for both of you to understand exactly what scene you had found yourself in, but when you came back from the shock, you couldn’t even find the right words to express how you were feeling. Your limbs were frozen, unable to shut the door again and your heart was stuck in your throat. Sam’s wide eyes and parted lips showcased his matching emotions, also void of a proper response. Even in his complete surprise, he couldn’t help but feel his gaze drifting over every exposed part of you that was offered. If you wanted to be dramatic, you could even go as far as to say he was drooling at the sight of you.

After a moment of staring, you took a step to the side, covering as much of you as possible behind the solid door. “Do you greet everyone like that, or am I interrupting something?” He said, clearing his throat, joking to subtly to pass off his blatant gawking.

“Um, no… and no, I guess.” You squeaked, cheeks red enough to match the fabric that was barely concealing you.

“Expecting someone else?” The corner of his lip upturned into a smirk, finding humour in the awkward moment. He knew you were likely expecting his brother, but his cockiness allowed him to use the knowledge to his advantage.

“No,” you said after a long bout of silence, trying to sound confident. The alcohol was sending the devil in your head into a drunken rampage. Your plan to play into their game was bouncing around within your skull, urging you to take the embarrassing greeting and make it into something better. If Jake wasn’t willing to give you what you needed, you were sure that Sam would have no problem helping you out. If they wanted to involve you in their mess, you should have no issue using it for your own benefit. You were both playing with fire, but the heat was gradual; welcoming at first, and only burning you after the fact, once you were too far in to turn around.

“So I showed up at the perfect time, then?” Your anxiety washed away, even finding yourself able to produce a genuine smile at his ridiculously childish response. Your eyes drifted over his face, taking in the details of his expression. He had recovered from his nervous state, too, but his eyes were still glistening with appreciation at the beauty of you before him. You could have shut the door, turned him away with an apology and let the memory die, but his beauty was captivating, and you were drawn in by the way he was watching you. If you had found yourself in the situation with a lower blood-alcohol content, the whole thing would have been ridiculous and terribly wrong. Maybe it was the wine, or the brunch conversations that lead you to the conclusion in which you were headed towards. It didn’t matter, anyway, because you had already made up your mind. You didn’t want to turn him away; you were eager to let him inside.

“I think so.” You agreed, playing into him.

“Red’s your colour, princess.” He noted, trying to catch another glimpse of what you were trying to hide from him without being too obvious. Just another blatant show that Sam and Jake were in fact brothers, and brothers indeed. Too alike for their own good, and too foolish to see the problem. “You should wear it more often.” His voice was quiet, much different than his usual chipper tone that sounded through an entire room. You had never heard him speak in such a way, except for the small moment shared in your kitchen. It was enticing, perfectly alluring and dangerously gratifying.

“You should come in,” you stated, not as a request, but a fact. He watched you for a moment, attempting to convince himself that you were serious and not just pulling his leg. When you kept your composure, no hint of anything other than a genuine nature, he made a move towards you. Once he was inside, you closed the door behind him with little thought.

Perhaps too much carelessness for such a grave decision that would ultimately seal your fate.

Lousy lovers pick their prey

but they never cry out loud

TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld

#gvf #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #danny wagner #josh gvf #sam gvf #danny gvf #jake gvf #sam kiszka #gvf fic #sammy gvf #gvf x reader #gvf smut #sam kiszka gvf #gvf imagine #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet smut #greta van fleet imagine #jake kiszka gvf #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka series #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fanfic #sam kiszka smut #sam kiszka x reader #sam kiszka fic #builtbybrokenbells #gold dust woman

[doubleddenden]

The new trailer was interesting. It did the thing I didn't really want it to do by spoiling story related stuff and not reveal the actual new Pokémon we're missing, but for what it's worth it seems like the story will be pretty content heavy. Let's look at some screens I took and speculate on some stuff: and a friendly reminder that nothing I say here has any bearing on leaks that are possibly out there, so if I guess anything in the future, it was just a guess:

This crystal tree is pretty suspicious. Like first of all, this appears even DEEPER into Area Zero than we've been before, assuming. Did something or someone plant it here? Is it the remains of an underground world? Could it possibly be related to a legendary? Not to mention the FULL crystallization of the tree, vs the partial crystallization of the trees up top. It's definitely not safe to be here for long.

Next, Z move pose! BBA is off the coast of Unova, but there's a lot of Alola rep here. I wonder if they're doing this because Bank will shut down soon and this will be where they want us to get Alola forms for the next 5 ish years before they discontinue Switch online services?

Next, this is Crispin and what appears to be proof the BBE4 won't be restricted to singular types. My friend pointed out that this could possibly be a sun team with Exeggcutor there. Wonder why they opted for Kanto when Alolan is there? (I mean besides Kanto being why).

Next, the reveal of, WHOA WHODA THUNK, Champion? Corrupted Kieran anyway. I made a post a few months back when they showed off this guy from the neck down and made the prediction he'd be champion- that's not entirely confirmed just yet, but it does seem to be pointing in that direction. It's not really that much of a W because GF can be very predictable with their writing.

Anyway he looks heavily corrupted- YEAH LETS GO VILLAIN ARC!!!! His hair is fully purple now- honestly I'd have preferred it with black like before, but it's probably symbolic of his corruption. My friend even pointed out his hair kinda looks like the Toxic Chains the Loyal Three have- theory time, whatever gave them the chain is also corrupting Kieran because look at him. No light left in those eyes. Just rage. Fun :D

Next we have this- I assume it's Penny or Mela tbh, because I saw from a ways back where it seems like Team Star's Giacomo has reintegrated into Naranja/Uva Academy. Maybe Penny has stopped dying her hair and grew it out or Mela is being super proper now or something. Could also be a completely unrelated character.

Lastly for major story stuff, this is cool poster material. Kieran's rage or possibly fear of Terapagos, Carmine's worry for her brother, Briar... I mean come on, she's a villain in waiting, look at her face. Idk if I'm too quick to claim Terapagos is evil though, because the anime has firmly planted him in Just A Little Guy territory and I don't think they'd want to ruin that image considering they've been in charge of hyping him up since Horizons first started.

But yeah, the culmination of everything we've been through in one image. Kinda exciting.

Oh, and just some small tin foil hat pics

It's odd that they paired these trios together to me. Pokémon loves sprinkling breadcrumbs to tease at future projects, and these could pass for potential Legends starter trios.

But not for Unova.

Tepig and Snivy are the odd ones out here because it'd be kinda dumb to re use Unova starters for a Legends Unova game- now for Johto? Squirtle, Treeko, and Tepig COULD work, but Squirtle is also pretty close to home.

If I'm being real, this is probably nothing and just meant to highlight the starters across different generations coming home, with Tepig and Snivy being stand outs because this will be their first time being available on the Switch. Ever.

Other notable things I didn't screenshot:

BQs: basically side quests.

Synchronization? I guess? We can actually control a Pokémon. Conspiracy brain wants to say this is alluding to something, but I'm unsure. It's at least kind of neat because this has been a topic of various NPCs in the series for years. Those were probably just alluding to Mystery Dungeon games, but when Game Freak does something like this in DLC, it could hint at a future mechanic or possibly a feature in a future game.

Legendaries returning: I'm gonna be real, I'm not really all that excited by the prospect of yet another Legendary Bargain Sale that they've been doing since ORAS at this point. ORAS, USUM, Crown Tundra, and now Indigo Disk. At this point the legendaries are more common and accessible than some common pokemon like Furfrou or the elemental monkeys.

What's interesting to note are a couple of things:

1. DLC pokemon from SwSh are here too, including Kubfu. That's interesting, I wonder how it will evolve considering we needed the two towers in IoA last time? An NPC from the dojo?

2. Boi if you thought I wasn't gonna talk about the Unovan dragons- they didn't HAVE to single them out like that! They didn't have to. They did, though. I'm pretty sure we all know their next projects.

You may be saying "but it's too fast!" And I agree. They need to stop rushing things and take their time, but we all know they won't. All we can do is hope they actually try this time.

Anyways that was the last trailer for Indigo Disk. Maybe it's my severe depression talking, but I'm actually excited for Indigo Disk. It looks very content heavy and a bit prettier to look at than before. I hope it runs okay- I mean it won't, but I still hope it. I also hope this isn't as quick as Teal Mask was.

1 week lefts, bois

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers #indigo disk #indigo disk spoilers #pokemon kieran

[bad268]

Ik it says no specific character but I am on my knees for sebastian montoya (mans gen z personified)COuld we get a driver reader and him and the reder inviting him to go to prom maybe beause he couldnt go to his?(Ik this is oddly specify and i am sorry you dont have to tdo this )

Drive Me to Prom? (Sebastian Montoya X Driver! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Formula 2/3

Requested: Clearly (yo so the whole specific characters thing was so people would stop requesting characters I don't write for anymore, but anything regarding f1/2/3 drivers, I will DROP EVERYTHING FOR THEM lol)

Warnings: cheezy promposal

Pronouns: First POV (I/me), but fem-ish reader (wears dress mentioned but not actually talked about)

W.C. 1605

Summary: The reader tries to surprise Sebastian with a Prompoasl, but it does not go according to plan.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Google/Multiformula)

It was something really random to find out. While Sebastian and I were filming a video for the team’s YouTube channel, one of the questions asked about extracurriculars in school. It was a harmless question, really! But somewhere, somehow, we got on the topic of school dances.

“I was able to go to homecoming this year, and I think my prom is coming up soon,” I answered enthusiastically. 

“I never actually went to my prom,” Sebastian admitted. My head shot over to him, confused. He looked even more confused at my reaction, “What?”

“Two things,” I started, “One, you wanted to go to your prom? And two, you just decided not to go?”

“I mean it’s a standard thing with high school. I would have liked to go, I guess,” he laughed in response. The disappointment in the second half of his response was easy to detect, “And two, I also had a race the week of my prom. Even if I wanted to go, I couldn’t.”

Thus, the plan began. Since I knew my prom was going to be on a week we did not have a race, and I knew I wanted to go, I was going to ask Sebastian to prom (not like I would want to go with anyone else, but y’know).

The first thing I needed to do was coordinate with his parents and friends. His parents were more than willing to help, and they even volunteered to take him suit shopping inconspicuously. I said they didn't need to because the dress I found was a dark navy blue that matched perfectly with one of the suits he already owned. Then his friends were easy to convince. They were already busy visiting family as the date fell while we were on a break, so they had no problem with not making plans with Sebastian.

Next, I had to plan with the team. There was no way I was letting them schedule us for another last-minute, meaningless meeting during prom. They were (surprisingly) okay with it, as long as we agreed to come in two days later for a promotional video and simulator work which I had no problem with. 

Finally, the last thing I needed to do was ask him. I should not have been nearly as nervous as I was, but I wanted it to be perfect. I has so many ideas for how to ask him, but I knew I wanted to be cheesy and try to connect it to racing. I ended up deciding on a sign that I would take to the next race since we had one more race weekend before prom. The sign read, “Can you drive me to prom? I don't have my license.” I also printed pictures of our cars to put on the corners. It’s in reference to the fact that Sebastian has his normal driver’s license while I only have my super license. 

The race I decided to ask him was at Imola, one of our favorite tracks. We both qualified well (him at P1, me at P3), and I won the sprint race with Sebastian in P2. It was the first 1-2 of the season! We had a break between the podium and the media panel, so we were able to head back to our team trailer after a brief photo shoot. We both split off to different sides of the trailer to take showers and change into comfortable clothes. 

Sebastian immediately laid flat on the floor once he was done, and when I came out, he pulled me to lie next to him with a laugh. A couple of the staff chuckled at our antics, but let us be. 

“That was a pretty good race,” he said quietly with a yawn, “I don’t want to do interviews.”

“It was a great race, and you don't have to, technically,” I responded just as quietly. He looked skeptical before I elaborated, “You could just pay the fine if you really don’t want to go.”

“No, I just like whining about it,” he chuckled, pulling me deeper into his side as he buried his face in my hair. “Plus, I would never turn down a panel with you by my side.”

“You mean you by my side,” I laughed pulling away to make eye contact. “Last I checked, I was the one that won the race, Mr. Montoya.”

“Ah, right,” he joked, “We should actually start heading over now. We can pick up a smoothie or something on our way over. My treat for you winning fair and square.”

“Is that supposed to be condescending?” I joked back, moving to stand up and brush off my clothes. I held out my hand to help him up, him immediately taking it and standing up but not letting go as he pulled me into his chest for a hug. “Is this your apology?”

“No, the apology is that I’ll also get you a smoothie and food,” he responded, placing a kiss on my nose. “Did you put my wallet in your backpack earlier?”

“Yeah, you asked me too,” I chuckled, pulling away slightly to kiss him for a moment before moving back to point toward my driver’s room. “I need to grab my phone if you want to grab your wallet from my bag.”

“On it,” he said as he kept my hand in his and led us to the room. We split off, him grabbing my bag from the desk and me going toward the bathroom where I had my phone charging on the counter. Before I head back out, I checked a couple of notifications until Sebastian called out to me, “Hey, Y/N, what’s this?”

I walk out and see him reading something and I instantly know what it was: the poster. I immediately reached to grab it from him, hiding it behind my back despite knowing that he’s already seen it and read it. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“You were going to ask me to prom?” He asked in disbelief.

“I was going to do it after the race tomorrow,” I admitted, “but now it’s not a surprise.”

“Ask me now.”

“What?”

“I said,” he paused as he wrapped his arms around my waist, one arm pulling the sign out from behind my back, “Ask me now.”

“Seb, you didn’t get to go to your prom, and I have my prom next week. You have a driver’s license, and I only have my super license. Maybe you could drive me to prom?” I asked as I leaned back, still with his arms around my waist, and held the sign up. “And we can dance if you want to.”

“I could not imagine going with anyone else,” he laughed, pushing the sign down so he could kiss all over my face. We basked in the moment for a couple of minutes before hearing our managers calling our names. “I guess that’s our call, isn’t it?”

“I mean we could just not answer and sneak out the back,” I suggested, gesturing toward the door that lead to a staircase directly toward the pack of the paddock. “We could just take the fine.”

“Do you really want to pay the fine when we have no real reason to miss the interview?”

“Not really, but I am hungry, so I’m weighing my options.”

“Come on,” he chuckled as he pulled me toward the normal door, grabbing his wallet on the way and propping the sign up against the wall before walking out. When we got to the main section of the trailer, we found our managers talking on the phone. 

“Nevermind, we found them,” my manager said to the person on the call as they hung up. They both looked at us suspiciously before asking, “Do we want to know what you were doing in Y/N’s driver’s room together?”

“You say that like we did something wrong,” Sebastian pointed out. The look on our managers’ faces told us that they definitely thought we were doing something in there. “Wait, no we did not do what you think! The worse that we did was contemplate just taking the fine.”

“Okay, no,” his manager laughed, “we are not taking the fine. We were trying to find you because you need to do a post-race photoshoot and eat before the panel.”

“Oh, we already did the photo shoot,” I pointed out. “We did it before we showered and changed. Plus, we were just about to head out to get smoothies.”

“Make sure you get real food too, please? The last thing we need is one of you passing out during the interview. You’ve got 2 hours!”

“Got it,” Sebastian shouted behind him as we already started running out of the trailer toward the array of food stands. We slowed down once we reached a shaded table off to the side of one of the stands. Sebastian pulls out my chair, allowing me to sit first before pushing it in and taking the seat across from me. “Looks like we’ve got extra time to kill, so what do you want to get? My treat.”

“Is that supposed to be condescending?” I joked, leaning forward in my seat.

“Shut up or I won't buy you anything,” he pressed with an eye-roll. “Now, what do you want?”

“Well-” I started.

“No, don’t turn this on me,” he immediately interrupted, “I’m trying to congratulate you on your win.”

“And I want a smoothie, so you choose the actual food!” I retorted. “Second place is not easy either, so you choose the food.”

“You’re a menace.”

“I try.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

#sebastian montoya x reader #sebastian montoya #formula 3 #f3 #formula 1 #formula 2 #f1 #f2 #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

[seungkwansphd]

fighting fire

pairing: kihyun x reader wordcount: 6.7k summary: you’re more than happy to tag along on your friends’ lake trip when a spot opens up, but the host is out to get you. 8am hikes and full days of activities? no, you have a book to read! genre/themes: sunshine/grumpy, enemies to lovers(ish), smut-adjacent? (m&f solo masturbation), outdoors/camping themes, lots of starship cameos, mostly plot, acts of service kihyun.

a/n: welp all I want is romantic buildup these days. oh well @wavelikewhat​ i hope you enjoy!!! :D

    You groaned as the car continued to drive over the road to the cabin. You had been hoping to get some sleep on the way in, but no such luck. The location was deep in the woods with a single, unpaved road as the sole access. With every divot and rock that the vehicle bounced over, your prospects of sleep slipped even further through your fingers.

“How much longer until we’re there?” you asked of Shownu, who was driving.

“GPS says 20 more minutes?”

“So close yet so far,” you groaned, shifting to look out the window.

    As grumpy as you were about the drive, you had to admit it was beautiful out here. Dense woods surrounded a beautiful lake and the cabin was supposed to be right on the water. Jooheon had roped you into this trip at the last minute, after Naomi had had to cancel and you were glad for the opportunity but also not super looking forward to having to meet new people. You probably knew 4 people in total that were on the group trip. Jooheon and Shownu, of course, and Hyungwon and Dasom were among your close friends. Outside of that Jooheon had mentioned a few names that you recognized, but only barely.

“There it is, I can see it!” Jooheon started shouting excitedly as Shownu took a sudden right turn.

“Whoa,” you gaped appreciatively. You hadn’t really been sure what to expect from a cabin in the woods, but it far exceeded your imagination. It was constructed of a beautiful, dark wood with fine detailing and a large, brass weathervane and matching hardware. “It’s gorgeous.”

“I’m so glad we have rich friends,” Jooheon chuckled, hopping out of the passenger seat after Shownu had parked.

“Ahhhhh!” Shownu let out a loud yell in the general direction of the lake as he stretched.

“It smells great!” you smiled as you stretched your legs as well.

“I thought I heard Shownu,” Dasom waved delightedly as she ran down the stairs. “You made it!” she wrapped you into a hug before moving to greet the other boys. “Honey, you look big! Have you been working out?”

“Sure have,” Jooheon nodded proudly, flexing comically as Hyungwon finally emerged from the cabin as well.

“You made it,” he waved tiredly, looking as if he’d just woken from a nap.

“Is everyone else here already?” Jooheon asked as he walked towards the back of the car to unload bags.

“Yep, ”

“Ah, ok ok,” Jooheon nodded, loading Shownu up with the bulk of the luggage.

    You grabbed your own backpack and followed the group in through the front door. Dasom was moving to show you to your room when an impossibly smiley face popped into the hallway.

“Ah! You must be YN! So glad to meet you, drop your things off, we have a packed agenda!”

“A-ah, this is Kihyun,” Dasom filled in the gaps, seeing your blank face.

“Oh yes, sorry! I’m Kihyun, welcome to my family’s lake house!”

“Ah,” you nodded slowly, understanding this enthusiastic host personality a little better.

“So yes, please set your things down and we’ll get moving soon!”

“Can I…not?” you asked. “I’d rather just get some sleep here, if that’s okay?”

“Oh, um…” Kihyun’s face fell at your unexpected admission. “I guess that’s fine?”

“Awesome,” you gave him a half-hearted thumbs up before poking Dasom to show you your room.

    Kihyun’s lips pursed as he watched you walk away. It had been a long time since someone had turned down one of his vacation agendas. People always had a good time!

“I’m so tired!” you exhaled as you flopped down onto the bed.

“You sure you’ll be okay alone here?” Dasom chuckled as you rolled yourself up in blankets. “We might be gone for a while, Kihyun usually packs a pretty full day of activities.”

“Even better,” you rolled your eyes, “I’m a rest and relaxation type of person, so probably best to keep me away from him.”

“Oh, uh, haha, sure!” Dasom suddenly grew awkward.

“What?” you narrowed your eyes at her.

“Nothing!” she laughed, but you knew your friend better than that.

“Tell me or I’ll show Hyungwon the pictures of when you cut your own bangs in middle school,” you threatened. Not that it would achieve anything, Hyungwon liked Dasom simply too much.

“We actually thought you’d like Kihyun,” she finally admitted.

“That guy?” your eyes swiveled back and forth, trying to make the math math.

“You two are actually kind of similar, but whatever!” she laughed, “We can keep you apart, if that’s what you want.”

    You nodded shortly, waving her off to Kihyun’s activities. As you drifted into sleep, you found yourself thinking about this Kihyun. What kind of sick freak would torture everyone by not alloting the first night of a vacation to unwind and decompress?

…

“YN-ah?” Dasom knocked quietly on your door as she peeked in. You seemed to still be deep asleep, but she didn’t want you to miss dinner. “YN?” she called again, slightly loud and was relieved when you started to stir.

“Yea?” you turned to her, haired slightly fucked up on one side and eyes still puffy.

“We’re gonna eat dinner. I just wanted to check in and see if you want to eat now? Or I can set something aside for you.”

“I’ll come now!” you nodded, rubbing your face vigorously to wake up. You raked your fingers through your hair a few times, but it wasn’t like there was anyone to impress anyways. “What are we eating?” you asked through a yawn as you followed Dasom.

“We’re grilling over the fire!”

“Oh great! We’ll have to make sure it’s fully out before we go to bed, though.”

“Yes yes, our fire safety manager,” Dasom rolled her eyes at you. 

“Hey, I am not trying to die in a cabin fire this weekend!” you sniffed indignantly. Fire safety was no joke!

“Oh, you’re up! Come sit next to me,” Jooheon gestured at you excitedly. You took the open seat happily. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, the bed is very comfortable. Plus I was exhausted.”

“I told you, you need to stop working so hard!”

“It was the end of the quarter, I couldn’t help it,” you shrugged, glancing around to see what was on the menu. You were a little disappointed to see it was almost all fatty cuts of meat. Trying to be subtle, you checked around for perhaps some vegetables or even a stray mushroom, but no such luck.

“Oh great! You’re next to me! I’m excited to get to know you more,” Kihyun’s annoying voice grated on your nerves as he returned to his chair at the fire pit.

“Oh great,” you laughed sarcastically, but Kihyun didn’t seem to catch it.

“Wait, YN, do you know everyone?” he asked suddenly.

“Ah, shit!” Jooheon slapped himself comically. “I forgot to do intros!” he shouted as he stood up. Going around clockwise, he named every person and how he knew them.

“Ah, those that are new to me: nice to meet you all,” you laughed, “Thanks for letting me tag along!”

“The more the merrier!” Minhyuk raised his glass jovially.

“Did you sleep well?” Kihyun asked as he grilled strips of pork belly over the fire.

“Yes. Thanks.”

“Good! You missed out on a fun day, though.”

“Okay,” you shrugged. You knew you were being a bit rude, but you just didn’t have much to say to him.

Kihyun smiled into the fire as he tried to understand why you seemed to dislike him so. As the host, it was his job to make sure you had a good time, but his attempts so far had been rebuffed. No matter, he could press on. As things finished cooking, he doled them out to the hungry group.

“Ah, thanks,” you smiled weakly as Kihyun placed pork belly into your bowl. You nibbled at the meatier bits of it, but ended up tucking the majority of it under your rice.

“Did you not like the food?” Kihyun couldn’t help but ask later in the night after noticing that you’d primarily eaten banchan and rice. He truly was perplexed by you.

“No, no!” you shook your head, surprised at his crestfallen expression. “It’s not your cooking! I just-…I don’t really eat fatty cuts of meat. It’s a texture thing.”

“Oh, I see! I'm so sorry, Jooheon didn’t mention. I would’ve gotten something else for you!”

“It’s fine,” you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. His need to people please irritated you for some reason. “You don’t really have to do this ‘host’ thing for me. I’m just here. I’ll be fine.”

Kihyun blinked at you. His confusion about you now had a streak of irritation running through it. Why would you not want him to be nice to you?

“Kihyun, what’s on the docket for tomorrow?” Hyungwon asked. His arm was slung around Dasom’s shoulders, which made you smile uncontrollably widely.

“Let’s meet downstairs at eight for coffee and breakfast. Morning walk around the lake, then we can make lunch and decide on what to do in the afternoon/evening.”

“Eight…AM?!” you clarified with a concerned look on your face. “Is there a reason we can’t walk around the lake later in the day?”

“The bugs get pretty nasty as it warms up,” Kihyun shrugged simply.

“Ah,” you nodded, of course they did.

“That works for me,” Shownu shrugged, and the rest of the group agreed. Hyungwon didn’t even protest, which surprised you.

“Sounds perfect,” you gave Kihyun a big thumbs up, which earned you a chuckle and an eye roll.

“I’m about ready to turn in, what should we do for clean up?” Jooheon stood from his seat.

“If you can take all of the dishes in, I can take care of the rest.”

“I’ll put the fire out!” you volunteered, jumping out of your chair.

Kihyun looked at you in surprise. This was the most enthusiastic he’d seen you so far, and it was about putting out the fire?

“Fire safety is important,” you clarified, seeing his odd look.

“No, I agree,” he nodded prudently, “I just- nevermind.”

You shrugged and turned to put out the fire. With a poker, you pushed apart the already waning coals. The flames dimmed to a soft glow.

“Is there water I can use to put this out?”

“Yes, but you’d have to carry it down from the cabin.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll just wait for it to burn out,” you shrugged. The fire pit was a medium distance from the cabin and you didn’t really feel like carrying buckets of water to and from.

Kihyun nodded, busying himself with other cleanup tasks. When he was satisfied with the state of things, he turned his head towards you. Your expression was soft in the dying glow of the fire pit’s light. At least softer than any you had graced him with. Kihyun couldn’t help but feel frustrated for a moment. Even though he knew he didn’t have to be and you had even given him permission not to be so worried about playing host, he couldn’t seem to let it go. He was so used to being the entertainer and it irritated him that you weren’t responding to him positively. He felt a strong desire to break through your shell.

“You don’t have to wait for me,” your voice broke through his thoughts after feeling his gaze on you.

“Sure,” Kihyun shrugged, moving to take the seat next to you, “But I’m going to anyway.”

“You’re dead set on annoying me, aren’t you?” you scoffed, moving one seat to the right to reestablish the space between you two.

“Seems so,” Kihyun smirked.

“How do you know Jooheon anyways?” you found yourself curious.

“We went to high school together.”

You nodded. That was simple enough. You poked the last few embers again, willing them to go out quickly as you observed Kihyun in their last wisps of light. Like all of Jooheon’s friends, he was handsome, but there was something about Kihyun’s handsome that almost made you mad. His jawline was too sharp, his nose too perfect, and his smile too beaming. You didn’t trust anyone who looked like that. And then he wanted you to like him, too? No such luck. You were being unreasonable, of course, but you could just say you had ‘incompatible personalities’ and call it a day.

“Are you satisfied that the fire is out?” Kihyun’s voice punctured the darkness. You had been so busy being frustrated about his perfect face that you’d forgotten the task at hand.

“I think so,” you nodded, making a show of poking the ashes a few more times before standing.

“Here, take my hand. There’s a few roots that you might trip over on the way back.”

“I’ll be okay, I’ll just walk behind you,” you shook your head, grabbing onto the back of his windbreaker gingerly.

“Suit yourself,” he shrugged, leading the way back to the cabin. Even in his sleep, he could probably make this walk back without stumbling, but he had been right about the roots. You had managed to make it about two thirds of the way before your toe caught a gnarled limb and you fell face first into Kihyun’s back.

A small ‘oop’ was all he heard before he felt himself being bowled forward. He managed to catch himself with his arms, but you landed fully on his back, forcing him the rest of the way down to the ground.

“I told you!” he found himself chiding you. He wasn’t really mad, but he was startled by your warmth suddenly pressed flush against his back and his pent up irritation with you from earlier snuck through in his tone.

“Sorry!” you shouted, floundering slightly as you tried to get yourself off of his back. Your palms first contacted his shoulders and the warm firmness startled you. Trying again, you placed your hands on the ground between his ribcage and biceps and pressed up. Your knees slotted in between his and you managed to get upright without falling back onto him.

“Okay, I’m up,” you dusted yourself off as you stood. You reached down, extending a hand to him without thought to pull him up.

“None of this would’ve happened if you would’ve just taken my hand earlier when I offered it.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” you saluted him mockingly. If someone had asked, you would have had no earthly explanation for why you’d decided to say that, but you found that you really enjoyed seeing Kihyun riled up.

    Kihyun cocked his head slowly at you as you made the rest of the way back to the cabin without him. His tongue poked in his cheek as he tried to keep his cool. You had no idea how much you were testing him.

…

“Good morning, sunshine,” Jooheon teased as you shuffled into the kitchen. In a court of law, they’d really have a field day determining whether you were legally awake or not.

“Coffee?” a cheery voice offered. You turned to see Kihyun smiling brightly, a mug outstretched towards you.

“Thank you,” you regarded him suspiciously. You didn’t trust people who were bright and cheery in the morning, but it wasn’t enough to keep you from caffeine.

Kihyun raised an eyebrow as he turned back to his own mug. Accepting the coffee was at least some sort of progress, right?

“Honey,” you meandered towards Jooheon, leaning into him tiredly. “Is this morning walk going to be worth it?”

“Yes, so drink your coffee and wake up!” he insisted.

You narrowed your eyes at your friend before taking a sip. Wait. Your head swiveled to Kihyun before swiveling back. This was an incredible cup of coffee! Increasingly suspicious.

“You’re really not a morning person, huh?” Minhyuk teased as he walked towards Jooheon.

“Not even on my best day,” you shook your head sadly. “Worst part is I’m not even a night owl. I’m just tired all the time.”

Minhyuk laughed at your forlorn expression. You finished your coffee as the group slowly cycled in and out of their bedrooms, getting changed for the day and ready to go. Before long, everyone was booted, suited, and walking out the door.

“So YN, what is it that you do for work?” Minhyuk asked, having decided to get to know you today.

“Ah, I work in finance for an apparel company! How about yourself?”

“Oh interesting! Any specific type of apparel?”

“No, we kind of make everything,” you laughed.

“I see! I’m an art preparator at a gallery.”

“Okay! Now that’s interesting!” your eyes widened. “Did you study to go into that?”

Minhyuk nodded, eager to tell you all about his career path. In his excitement, he looped his arm into yours as you walked, attracting a curious glare from behind.

Kihyun couldn’t help but feel irritated. For all your standoffishness with him, you seemed to be interested in Minhyuk just fine. Initially, Kihyun had posited that you were introverted or shy with new people, but this piece of evidence poked a good sized hole in that theory.

“You okay?” Hyungwon nudged him gently, seeing the deep folds between his eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah!” Kihyun shook his head, trying to empty it of thoughts.

“It’s a nice day out,” the taller man remarked.

“Very,” Kihyun agreed. Try as he might, he couldn’t keep his eyes from admiring your silhouette from the rear. How annoying.

Hyungwon smirked, unnoticed by his friend. When Dasom had said you two were similar, she had been right. Unfortunately, stubbornness was one of those shared traits.

“What’s the plan for the afternoon?”

“I was planning to make a grocery run into town. People can join if they want, otherwise they can relax here.”

“Didn’t you just pick up groceries on the way in?”

“Yes, but it turns out I’m missing a few things,” Kihyun shrugged.

“Okay, well, I’m not going.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t counting on you,” Kihyun rolled his eyes at his friend.

…

“Kihyun’s back!” Jooheon shouted excitedly as you lounged in a hammock. As you read your book, you could hear the crush of tires over gravel.

“Do you need help?” Shownu asked.

“Yes, but there’s not much, so you’ll be enough,” Kihyun waved off the other helpful faces that had turned towards him.

You shrugged, that worked for you just fine. You had found this hammock in one of the closets and after the unexpected difficulty of finding two appropriately distanced trees, you weren’t sure you would get out until the trip was over. You had grabbed a blanket, tucked in with your current romance novel, and the slow burn was burning, so you were cozy as could be. You were in the middle of kicking your feet and squealing over the protagonists when Jooheon rudely interrupted you for dinner.

“Are you reading one of those horny books again?” he asked, trying to take a peek at the words on the page.

“No! It’s  just a romance!” you tugged your book away from him indignantly. “They’re in love!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughed at you, pulling at the hammock, “Come on it’s time to eat!”

“Oh, really? It’s that late already?”

“Yeah, but you were too wrapped up in your porn to notice!”

“It’s not porn!” you yelled indignantly, threatening to thump him over the head with your book.

“What’s not porn?” Dasom asked curiously as you neared the table.

“The book she’s reading.”

“It’s not-! All of you shut up,” you shook your finger sternly at the table, drawing a few laughs.

“We’re all adults here,” Minhyuk laughed before leaning towards you conspiratorially, “So what kind of porn is it?”

“Jesus Christ,” you cursed. Jooheon’s friends were just as bad as he was. “I’ll be the first to admit that, yes, I do read spicy books, but this one isn’t! They’re in love but they just don’t know it yet,” you sighed dreamily.

“Boring!” Minhyuk clicked his tongue before moving into a different subject.

    Kihyun watched the exchange with interest. He was surprised at the ease with which you admitted to reading erotica. He was still irked at the rapport that you had so quickly established with Minhyuk. But most concerningly of all, he was in disbelief at the way his breath had caught in his throat seeing you smile, starry eyed, thinking about your book. He needed to get a grip.

    As Minhyuk steered the conversation elsewhere, you took a look at the dinner offerings on the table. You had expected much of the same as last time, but were surprised to see triangle kimbap and kimchi jjigae set out.

“Oo!” your eyes lit up with delight at the sight of some of your favorite foods. You waited just enough time to be deemed polite before digging into one of the kimbap. “Oh!” you gasped in delight upon realizing that it was stuffed with pepper tuna. This was definitely in your top five favorite foods.

“Isn’t it good?” Dasom smiled at you. “Kihyun’s a pretty good cook.”

“Did you make all of this?” you turned to Kihyun, slightly alarmed. “Nobody helped?”

“You all seemed busy or were relaxing. Plus nothing was too difficult,” he shrugged.

“But you cooked two nights in a row. You should at least enlist some of us to help,” you grumbled, now irritated at how good the food tasted.

“Most of these friends are a disaster in the kitchen,” Kihyun chuckled, “Easier just to do it myself.”

“Ah,” you opened and shut your mouth. You had almost volunteered to help him cook tomorrow, but thought better of it. God forbid you ended up stabbing him in frustration.

    Dasom held in a giggle as she watched you munching on your kimbap. Your face was screwed up in such intense concentration that you might as well have been deriving calculus equations. You had always been so stubborn.

    For the second night in a row, you found yourself on fire pit duty. Standing authoritatively with your poking stick, you made yourself useful by stoking the flames and feeding the fire until people were ready to turn in. For the second night in a row, you found yourself stranded in dreadfully romantic lighting with Kihyun, who gestured vaguely about possible bears and refused to leave you alone.

“Dinner was good tonight,” you couldn’t help but fill in the painfully awkward silence.

“Oh! Good,” he was surprised, lips curling up at you with pleasure.

“Spicy tuna kimbap was my favorite snack as a kid,” you recalled with a smile as you broke up a few medium sized coals.

“Mm, Dasom told me,” Kihyun answered through a yawn.

“Sorry?” you blinked, eyes flashing to him in confusion.

“You hardly ate anything yesterday, so I asked her for some ideas on what you would eat. I know everyone else’s preferences pretty well, already,” he shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“I-,” your thoughts stuttered for a moment. “I told you don’t have to try so hard to play host to me!”

“I’m so fascinated as to why you are so resistant to me just being…nice to you.”

“It’s not that, I just…” you trailed off. To be honest, you couldn’t explain the irritation that Kihyun seemed to inspire in you. You thought so hard, trying to scrounge up reasons, that you didn’t notice your poking stick falling into a pile of ashes until it was too late. “Oh shit!” you jumped, surprised into action. Hovering your hand over the fire, you discerned that it was cool enough for you to retrieve, but not without covering your hands in ash. “Oh god, what a mess,” you chided yourself, trying to see how dirty your hands had gotten in the dim lighting.

“YN!” Kihyun all but shouted as you leaned almost too far forward and your hair threatened to dip into the glowing embers. Without a second thought, he scooped your hair up into one hand and pulled you back with the other.

“Oh shit, thanks,” you looked up at him in surprise. “Ca-can you tie my hair up? I have a hair tie, but my hands are covered in ash,” you offered your wrist to him.

    Swallowing, Kihyun nodded, letting your hair fall back down as he fiddled with the hair tie. Grabbing you by the wrist, he turned your palm to face the ground as he pulled the hair tie off with his other hand. Your heart started pounding loudly and unfortunately it did not get any slower or quieter as he moved to pull your hair back up. Gently, his fingers raked along your scalp, gathering your locks into a relatively neat bundle. You managed to reign in the soft moan that wanted to leave your lips, but you couldn’t do anything about the flush that spread across your cheeks and neck.

“Your hair is soft,” he remarked as he pulled everything into a ponytail and you shivered slightly. Out of disgust for his wildly unnecessary statement, of course, and not because his breath had whispered against the nape of your neck.

“Okay, thanks!” you cleared your throat aggressively as you jumped away from him. What the hell was going on? Without a second thought for fire safety, you rushed back into the cabin, needing to distance yourself from this insufferable man immediately.

Kihyun couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he finished putting out the fire. He really couldn’t explain why he felt so affected by you, but he was relieved to see that he didn’t seem to be alone in it. Even if you insisted on fighting tooth and nail against it, you couldn’t take back the reaction you’d just had because he’d been there to see it himself.

…

“Raining again?” you looked sadly at the soaking hammock through the window. This was the second day in a row!

“Yeah, according to the forecast it doesn’t seem like it’ll let up all day,” Dasom shrugged.

    You briefly toyed with the idea of a walk in the rain. You had packed a rain jacket and your boots were water resistant. You had managed to avoid Kihyun successfully yesterday, but you weren’t confident that you could work that magic two days in a row. You read a few more pages as you let the idea marinate.

“I’m going out for a walk,” you stood up suddenly after two more pages, announcing to no one in particular.

“In the rain?” Hyungwon seemed concerned.

“I like the rain!” you insisted, pulling your rain jacket and boots on hurriedly before rushing out the door.

You exhaled with relief as you stepped into the rain. You’d been honest when you’d told Hyungwon that you liked it. The way the air smelled and the feeling of raindrops hitting your hood was reassuring. In the rain there was no Kihyun and no hair tie, so you could finally think straight. Pursing your lips, you decided the trail around the lake could use another lap.

…

“How long has YN been out?” Dasom asked Hyungwon, slightly concerned.

“Maybe forty minutes or an hour?” he wondered, trying to remember what time it had been when you had rushed out so unceremoniously.

“An hour? That seems like a long time, doesn’t it? What if something happened!”

“What’s going on?” Kihyun picked up on Dasom's slightly panicked tone.

“YN left to walk in the rain, possibly up to an hour ago. I’m just wondering if I should be concerned.”

“She went out in this rain?” Kihyun found himself worried. Normally he would be concerned about wild animals, but they would be largely deterred by the rain. No, today he was more worried about lightning posing a safety hazard.

“Do you think we need to go look for her?” Dasom asked, waiting for some sort of cue from Kihyun on whether she should panic.

“No, I don’t think it’s anything to be too worried about. I might just go take a look for myself,” Kihyun decided. He had just pulled on a waterproof jacket when the front door opened.

“Dasom, I need help!” you laughed uncontrollably as you poked your head in.

“Are you okay?” she rushed towards you hurriedly.

“Yes, I’m fine, I’m just all muddy,” you laughed, gesturing to yourself. You were, indeed, covered in mud. During the last quarter of your walk around the trail, you had taken quite a slip in a small dip in the trail. “Will you grab me a towel and a change of clothes? Don’t want to track all of this into the house,” you explained as you peeled off your rain jacket.

“You can just come in,” Kihyun suggested as he handed you a towel. “We can clean up the mud.”

“No, I’m truly covered, I’ll change out here,” you insisted, peeling off your wet shirt before accepting the towel to dry off your face. You were so singularly focused on getting dry that you did not register how exposed you had become in front of Kihyun.

“Here’s a shirt and shorts!” Dasom appeared, pushing Kihyun away as she handed you the dry clothes.

“Thank you!” you smiled, pulling the shirt over your head. It took some finagling to change into the shorts, but before long you were acceptably clean and dry. You bundled up your wet clothes to take to the laundry and gave it one last shake before entering the cabin.

“You look like a wet dog,” Shownu remarked. If it had been anyone else, you would’ve assumed the statement was meant to offend but it was Shownu.

“Thanks,” you rolled your eyes at him as you walked across the open area.

“Wet dog my ass,” Kihyun grumbled under his breath. He had seen entirely too much of you while you were busy peeling off your wet clothes and that had been a grave misstep.

…

    Kihyun exhaled sharply as he laid in bed. There was something wrong with him. He had seen plenty of people more naked than you, so this really shouldn’t be bothering him! Unfortunately for him, he now knew exactly how you were shaped and that in turn meant he could imagine what you might look like over him, under him, and try as he might, he could not get these imaginations out of his head.

    Grumbling, he flipped back onto his back, kicking the sheets off. It was too hot. It was pouring cool rain outside, but somehow it was way too hot in this room.

    Kihyun squeezed his eyes shut. He was really trying not to give into his baser urges, but the erection pressing at the front of his boxers seemed to demand otherwise. He exhaled deeply, pushing whatever guilt or other hangups he had out of his head as he reached down, cupping himself through the thin fabric. Even this slight self stimulation was enough to provide some relief and his head lolled back as he palmed himself, hips pressing up for more pressure.

“Fuck,” he panted, his other hand dancing across his chest and over his collarbones, his mind drawing up images of the way your lips might nibble across his skin and the way they would most assuredly curl up at the corners when you heard his desperate sounds.

Kihyun growled roughly, having had enough of this self inflicted torture. He pushed his boxers down his hips and kicked them off. He grasped himself fully, using his leaking precum to lubricate himself as he thrust desperately up into his fist. Groaning, he fully leaned into the fantasy of you over him, meeting his thrusts. He fabricated the way your brows would pinch together as you held onto him for support. The way your lips would form a sweet ‘o’ shape as you gasped and clutched at him desperately. There was nothing he wanted more in this moment than to make you cum, hard, for him. He was well past a lost cause at this point.

“Shit!” Kihyun cursed as his balls tightened, signaling a quickly pending release. His abs tensed before he emptied himself onto them. He swallowed hard. He really hoped the rain would let up soon so you all could have another meal outside. Fire pit duty seemed to be one of the only times that you would tolerate being alone with him.

…

    Your eyes widened as you flipped to the next page of your book. Perhaps you had been wrong…this book was, in fact, getting spicy. You squirmed and your eyes flitted to your suitcase briefly before they continued down the page.

“Yeah! Yeah,” you sighed after trying to talk yourself out of it. You placed your book facedown on the bed and hopped down.

    You commended your own foresight as you pulled your vibrator necklace out of a small pocket of your suitcase. You tossed the chain to the side before settling back into bed and picking up where you’d left off. The book was shortly abandoned as your hands and mind took over.

    Flipping onto your back, the fingertips of your left hand trailed, featherlight, just above the waistband of your sleeping shorts. Goosebumps broke out across your skin and you cupped your breast with your right hand, squeezing firmly. A desperate little moan punctured the silence as you sank into the mattress, eyelids pressing shut.

    Your mind wandered back to the book. The male protagonist had just been wedging his leg between the female lead’s thighs, hand at the base of her throat, pressing her firmly into the mattress. You sighed, ah, to be either of them. Your left hand slid down to tease gently at your inner thighs as your right hand searched out the vibrator in your sheets. Flipping it on, you teased yourself, very briefly, by trailing it along your sternum and downwards.

“Oh,” you shuddered as you finally brought it to your clit. Rubbing insistently through the fabric of your shorts, your head fell back, eyes fluttering shut as you ground your hips up against it.

You let out a confused gasp as Kihyun’s eyes, lips, and hands flashed through your foggy mind. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly, but you were not quite present enough of mind to stop. If anything, your hips sought out the vibrator even more and your mind betrayed you as you fully imagined Kihyun snapping his hips into you. The way he’d smirk at the sounds that you made for him and the way you’d clutch at him, needing more and more.

    You let out a moan that was somehow both reluctant and desperate as you came intensely to the thought of him. It wasn’t until the post-nut clarity had settled in that you had the decency to be embarrassed. What the hell had just happened?

…

“Ah, I’m so glad the rain finally let up! I missed eating outside!” you bounced on the balls of your feet happily.

Kihyun couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he watched you setting up the fire. Obviously, he didn’t think that you put the same amount of meaning on your firepit interactions as he did, but he had accepted that he had lost at least part of his mind over you.

    You were trying so hard not to look at Kihyun between stacking logs. Your confusion over his appearance in your self care activities last night had evolved into a knob of guilt and you knew you would not be able to look him in the eye without telling on yourself. Instead, you overly immersed yourself in firepit duty.

“Did you sleep well?” Dasom asked you kindly, not knowing that your sleep last night was a very touchy subject.

“S-super normal and good sleep,” you gave her a thumbs up with an awkward smile. Luckily for you, you were a bit of a strange person to begin with, so Dasom didn’t actually think too much of this.

    Kihyun’s eyes narrowed at you. Was he truly delusional now or did he actually see a slight brush creeping up your neck?

“What about you, Kihyun?” Hyungwon echoed his girlfriend’s question. “Sleep well?”

“Good and normal,” he couldn’t help but use your own words to tease you. He commended himself for not copying your thumbs up even though he desperately wanted to.

    You scowled, warmth creeping even further up your neck.

“Do you need some wood?” Minhyuk asked, eyeing the fire.

“Excuse me?!” you balked at his phrasing.

“Hah! Haha, oh god, I’m sorry! I just…I didn’t think that through,” he laughed as his auditory processing caught up to his mouth.

“When are folks planning on heading out tomorrow?” Jooheon asked of the group, changing the subject.

    You didn’t really listen as folks rattled off their expected departure times. One more night. One more night here with Kihyun was all you had to get through and then you’d never see him again. You could do this.

    Kihyun watched as you poked the fire, clearly lost in your own thoughts. Jooheon’s comment was a sobering reminder that, indeed, you only had one more night together. One last opportunity to either act on this desire that now sat heavy in his gut or to just let things go and allow this opportunity to slip through his fingers.

“You’re gonna put the fire out again?” Jooheon pouted as he stood to go to bed. You nodded at him, giggling at his typical antics. “Okay, well don’t forget we need to leave tomorrow by 11am at the latest. If you don’t make it, I’m leaving you here with Kihyun.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Kihyun’s voice cut through the cool night’s air.

“I’d walk into the lake and never come back out,” you glared at Jooheon.

“Alright, good night you wonderful delight,” he rolled his eyes at you before walking inside.

“So did you have an alright time on this trip?” Kihyun asked after a solid chunk of silence watching you from across the fire. He was leaned back in his chair, finishing off his beer.

“Why do you care so much whether I enjoy myself?”

“Is it so impossible to accept that your pleasure is important to me?”

    Your eyes widened a fraction of a hair at his phrasing. You were fabricating things, right? You were just on edge because of last night. Kihyun became inordinately pleased as he watched your expression. He had been right, you were blushing just a little.

“You don’t have to babysit me again. At this point, I can make it back to the cabin by myself. No tripping, I promise.”

    Kihyun stood, placing one hand into his pocket as the other grabbed his empty beer bottle.

“If you really want me to go, I will leave,” he spoke, his voice tinged with something different and new.

You met his gaze as he looked down at you. The light of the fire may have been waning, but you could see desire there, clear as day. It was so clear that you had to look away for fear of acting on it. Your heartbeat grew louder and faster as you listened to him step towards you until he was standing directly in front of you. A finger snuck under your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“Tell me you want me to go inside, and I will.” His final offer. You swallowed.

“No,” you breathed, eyes glued to his. His expression softened with relief before he pulled you up to your feet. A soft exhale punched through the night air before his lips met yours.

    Kihyun kissed you in a way that was almost laughably in character. He was firm, insistent, and thorough. He gripped your jaw securely and poured into you in a way that you were simply unaccustomed to.

“The fire,” you objected, pressing against his firm chest.

“Fuck the fire,” Kihyun groaned, pulling you back towards him.

#kihyun fanfic #kihyun fluff #kihyun smut #monsta x fanfic #monsta x fluff #monsta x smut #kihyun x reader #monsta x scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop smut #seungkwansphd:writes

[coldgoldlazarus]

Heyy so i've been enjoying a lot of the yuri things you post about a lot, are there any good shows that you recommend watching? Ive seen and enjoyed bocchi and witch from mercury a ton and i have a lot of time these next few days to burn :)

Oh, I'm glad to hear that!

Hmm, what are some good Yuri shows aside from Gwitch and Bocchi?

---

Admittedly, this is hard to answer as thoroughly as I'd like, since I generally have a hard time starting new shows and keeping up with them, so there are a fair few that I haven't actually gotten around to watching yet that I've really wanted to. Still, I'll mention a few of those since they do come highly recommended and I've had my eye on for a while, and then get into the ones I actually have seen.

-Kase-San and Morning Glory: Haven't seen, but did read the manga it's based on a while back; as I recall it's a very simple but very sweet slice-of-life sort of thing about a girly girl, a tomboy, and their shared love of gardening. Rather than a full series, I think it was adapted as a longer OVA or two? So I don't know how much of the story it covers, but it's also the kind of thing where, outside of the developing relationship of the leads, there's not too much in the way of like, a hard-hitting narrative to adapt. It's just super cute.

-Lycoris Recoil: In contrast to the last one, LycoReco is a recent anime-only sort of thing, and much more plotty from my understanding. It's basically the next thing I plan to properly sit down with in the near future, but until then I'll admit I don't know a whole lot about it; the main vibe I've gotten is that it is like, this action-drama about secret agents(?) first, yuri romance second, but it still does go out of its way to make the romance unambiguous and compelling, rather than trying to hide it behind subtext like older shows would have done. So at least based on what I've heard, it sounds worth your while, just I guess tread with caution since it may also get into some darker territory?

-The Executioner And Her Way Of Life: Another recent one that I haven't gotten to yet, but have read some of the manga for and so at least have some idea of what to expect. It's similar to Lycoris Recoil in being an action show first, but still very very clearly gay, so yanno, factor that in on whether you want to see it or not.

The premise is a sort of parody-taken-seriously of standard isekai stuff, taking place in a fantasy world that's constantly suffering from people reincarnating there from earth, growing overpowered and selfish, and causing radical, harmful upheaval. In response, an elite assassin's guild was formed to hunt down and eliminate these isekai "heroes" before they can get too powerful. The protagonist is one of these assassins, and the plot (and romance) starts when she's sent to kill a recently-isekai'd girl... who's special power is that she's seemingly unkillable, and immediately develops a crush on the assassin. Very much a slow burn enemies-to-lovers sort of vibe, but what little I read seemed promising.

-Wandering Witch: Another one I don't know a whole lot about, just that it's come highly recommended by some people whose good taste I generally trust. As the name implies, it seems to be a fairly slice-of-life-ish piece about a pair of witches? But beyond that, I don't really know much, so prolly worth looking into more yourself.

-Otherside Picnic: As I understand it, it's basically like the movie Annihilation, but gay? A pair of girls traveling through this uncanny sectioned-off region where all sorts of creepy supernatural happenings are going down, and it gets very existential. I've admittedly kinda dragged my feet on this one, since I have a complicated and inconsistent relationship with horror stuff, but it does sound very intriguing. Though I will say, from my understanding the yuri is very clear in the LN and manga, while the anime downplays that stuff into subtext? So it's probably more worth reading than watching.

---

With those out of the way, time to talk about the ones I do know! A couple of these I'll pair up because their vibes are similar, but I'll still try and discuss each with due depth.

-Urara Meirochou & Konohana Kitan: These two are cut from a pretty similar cloth, that I guess I'll just call "Historic supernatural cuteness"? Both are set in fantasy versions of olden japan, but the overall vibe is similar to modern-day Cute Girls Doing Cute Things shows. I considered leaving them off the list since they're also much more reliant on subtext than most of the others here, but I have too much of a soft spot for Urara Meirochou to be able to ignore it ^^; (I have half-unfinished fanfic for it, which given the scarcity of my writings these days has to count for something!)

Urara is about a group of girls seeking to become apprentice fortune-tellers in this mazelike city dedicated to the craft, though all coming at it from very different walks of life. It's pretty simple and episodic, but the main thing that made it for me was the dynamic between the main protagonist, a literally feral girl who's having difficulty adapting back to human life after being literally Raised By Wolves, and a prim and proper noble daughter who's completely befuddled but also enamored by her antics.

Konohana Kitan, meanwhile, I never got around to finishing just because Life Happened™ at the time, but it featured a bunch of Kitsune running a bathhouse; very Spirited Away in some ways, but a lot more relaxed in tone.

-Izetta, The Last Witch & Princess Principal: Another pair that came out around the same time, but that are tonally kind of the opposite of the last two. Both take place in kinda steampunky/dieselpunky parallel history versions of early 1900s europe, and feature spies and intrigue and action primarily, while, due to when they came out, the yuri elements legitimately straddle the line between subtext and just text.

Izetta is almost a precursor to Witch From Mercury in some ways? Just again, different settings. It takes place during a parallel of World War I and II, with the Germany analogue attacking a tiny border country as part of its overall war plans. The princess of that smaller country, though, winds up calling on help from (and falling in love with) the last witch in the world to help repel the invasion with magic. Izetta very much feels like a prototype of Suletta, and rides an anti-tank-rifle instead of a broom, which is awesome.

Princess Principal, meanwhile, is more focused on class divides and zeroes in on the spy theme more clearly. Basically, in an alternate version of London that's split down the middle Berlin-style, a group of teenage academy students who are actually plants by the opposing side, team up with a traitorous lower princess to sabotage the royal family... though one of the spies has a pre-existing history with her that makes everything even more complicated. It's a really interesting one, told in non-chronological order, that understands the less glamorous side of intelligence operations while still having a fair amount of dramatic action and twists, and alternates between feeling like a CGDCT show and an intense political thriller. And yanno, the gay. I also actually haven't finished this one because Life Happened™ and it's been a while since, but one of these days I want to rewatch and properly finish it. What I did see, was very very strong, though.

-Black Rock Shooter (2010 OVA & 2012 Series): This is another one I wasn't sure I should include, but eh, here we go. Basically, a sort of supernatural psychological slice of life? It alternates between a fairly straightforward school drama, and mysterious glimpses into this almost eldritch other world where monstrous humanoid entities are locked in endless, often rather brutal, combat. As things go on, the two seemingly disconnected stories wind up coming together in interesting ways. Being an older series, the yuri is very much subtexual, but still kind of a core element of the story anyway? It's difficult to explain. The OVA and the Series are basically different takes on the same premise; I favor the OVA as the more subtly-told version, but despite the series getting weirdly melodramatic in places, manages to expand on the concept in some cool ways, so I'd say both are worth watching if it sounds interesting.

(Sidenote, though: Don't confuse BRS 2012 with the more recent series, Black Rock Shooter: Dawn Fall. Dawn Fall is part of the same franchise, but other than some shared characters it's almost completely unrelated, with a wildly different core premise and tone. And while I did like a couple things it did, on the whole I just can't recommend it, especially in comparison to the original but also just kind of in general on its own merits. I'd steer clear of that one unless you're morbidly curious and able to stomache some frankly unnecessarily disturbing content.)

---

-Citrus: Something of a dishonorable mention before we move on to the big ones. Citrus is one I kind of have a lot of mixed feelings on personally, but I still feel like it's worth consideration, at the very least for the historical significance. TLDR; a boisterous gyaru moves to a new school and immediately winds up clashing with the school's repressed killjoy Student Council President, only for it to turn out that thanks to their parents remarrying, the two are now stepsisters. Cue lots of weird sexual tension and a revolving door of side character rival love interests.

A lot of people list the psuedo-incest nature of the two leads' relationship to be the big point against it, but to be perfectly honest, that aspect of it doesn't really bother me; I just didn't care for it because of basically the rest of the writing. There's a lot of what's basically sexual harassment in the manga, that the anime further escalates in adaptation to be as 'steamy' and 'torrid' as possible, and between that and the aforementioned side characters who (almost, there is one big exception and she's another reason I wasn't a fan) all have a more compelling (and respectful) dynamic with one or both of the leads, it failed to really sell me on the central pairing. I hear it does develop in a better direction later on, but that's after I lost patience to keep reading, and the anime basically only covers right up to the point where their interactions stop feeling so... uncomfortable.

At the same time, though, I will admit that Citrus does have its merits. There are a lot of people who do love it, so I'm not really speaking for a crowd here, and while I strongly dislike the student council president stepsister, the gyaru protagonist is a genuinely fun cinnamon roll who did nothing wrong and made what I did read/watch enjoyable despite my complaints. And like I said, I have heard it gets better, if you can get further in the manga.

And if nothing else, we do honestly owe Citrus, because the manga did help make yuri more popular and well-known, and the anime marked the shift from subtext being the only way to imply a relationship between girls, to more recent series being able to show it in full and not downplay the romantic or even sexual elements of a lesbian relationship. So, I guess despite what it took to get there, we probably wouldn't have it nearly as good as we do now without Citrus, so on that merit it is probably worth checking out.

---

And finally, there's my top three recommendations:

-Magirevo (or; The Magical Revolution Of The Reincarnated Princess And The Genius Young Lady): Another recent one, but that I actually was able to sit down and watch through entirely, huzzah! Genre-wise it's kind of a weird one, being technically an Isekai but only barely; the protagonist has vague and fuzzy memories of a past life on earth that do inform her decisions and drive to an extent, but she refreshingly still feels mostly a part of this world she was born and raised in. It also takes a lot of cues in terms of the setting and typical tropes from the traditionally (tragically) more het-oriented Otome/Villainess genre, so without as much familiarity with that, some of the metatextual twists to those formulas that I really enjoyed, may not land the same? But it's still pretty solid even aside from that.

The basic concept there is that the protagonist, a princess in a magically-strong royal family who herself lacks any magical capability, becomes something of a mad scientist in her efforts to find a way to use magic through other means, and abdictates succession to her younger brother. However, over time he begins acting more erratic, until a breaking point is hit when he publically disavows his betrothed fiance. And the princess, who's also a massive lesbian who's long held a crush on said fiance, takes advantage of this to swoop in and drag her into assisting with her experiments.

It's admittedly kind of an uneven series, veering wildly between slice-of-life hijinks and surprisingly in-depth amounts of intrigue, and so the overall tone is a bit messy. The big issue is that its commentary on the flaws of monarchism and royal politics winds up feeling a bit undercut/incomplete, by virtue of being an incomplete adaptation that the LNs and Manga continue past, but I'm still willing to forgive all that, because the romantic development is very strong. While I understand some of the other series above that I have yet to watch or complete also don't have to hide behind subtext like older shows did, this one feels like it really takes advantage of that freedom. Despite the main plot distracting from it at times, on the whole the girls' relationship feels wonderfully central and gets a really good payoff. If you're here for gay with a little extra something on top, this is my recommendation.

-Symphogear: This is a case where I simultaneously really recommend this, while not entirely being sure if it should be on the list. While most of the others I've listed are single-cour and thus pretty quick to blast through, (even if sometimes to their own detriment, more on that later) Symphogear has five seasons' worth of content, with possibly more on the way, (there was a recent announcement of something new coming in a few years, but whether it's a new season, a spinoff, or just some unduly hyped merch or something, is yet unclear.) so is more of an undertaking. It's also a bit more rough around the edges in some spots, so my recommendation does come with disclaimers.

Premise-wise, it's kind of a weird mashup of genres; Magical girls, super robot mecha anime, and idols being the big ones. In a near-future world that's regularly afflicted by incursions from deadly entities called Noise, there are a group of girls wielding Symphogears, music-powered magitech devices that allow them to transform and fight back. However, there's a whole lot more going on beneath the surface, as the mystery of where the Noise are coming from is tied to a web of conspiracy involving alchemists, monsters, enemy symphogear wielders, and ancient sumerian myth.

It's definitely an action show first and foremost, but part of what both makes it interesting (and somewhat difficult to explain conceisely) is the way it evolves over the course of its run. The original season just started out as like, one of the wave of edgy grimdark "being magical girl is suffering" Madoka-clones that came out after Madoka, (so yanno, if you watch it, go in prepared for it to go some dark places) but it fairly quickly found its own identity and direction in being deeply, unapologetically maximalist about everything it does. Maximum edgy darkness! Maximum awesome hype! (And resultingly, maximum weaponized mood whiplash!) Maximum music! Maximum conspiracy! Maximum violence! Maximum comedy! (For better or worse, maximum fanservice!) Maximum gay! Maximum gay drama!

So like, it's just... A Lot,™ for both good and bad, and best taken at a measured pace rather than binged all at once. Also, while it's technically just subtext in its yuri until the last season, as with everything else about the show, it's so blaringly, gleefully unsubtle about that stuff that it may as well be text anyway.

So yanno, I personally like it, I think it's a great show that more people should watch, but I'll also readily admit that while it probably has at least something for everyone, it also probably has something that might turn people away, with either the plentiful fanservice, or the more oppressive grimdarkness of most of the first season being the two biggest concerns. It uh, goes some places. But, all that being said, it's still a pretty great ride on the whole? So if you think you could deal with those aspects, I do think it's worth taking a look, and the payoff is very much worth it.

And finally...

-Bloom Into You: In terms of just pure yuri, this is one of my favorites, and a pretty popular one for good reason. It hits a really nice balance between the chillaxed gentleness of most slice-of-life stuff, and the angst and drama of some other series; I feel like the best word to describe its tone is thoughtful. It's very well-written, and very sweet while still giving more to chew on. (Also helped me realize I was demiromantic, so that's also a point in its favor.)

A girl entering high school has always dreamed of and idealized romance, but after actually getting confessed to and feeling nothing about it, winds up kinda reconsidering and uncertain of what she actually wants. She meets an upperclassman who seems completely disinterested in romance and tries to connect with her over that, only for the upperclassman to fall for her instead; while aknowledging it's unrequited, she regardless asks her to enter a sort of one-way semi-romantic, semi-platonic relationship. As it goes on, and more context comes to light, she starts to realize there's a lot more emotionally complicated stuff going on, that I'll let you find for yourself.

Very very good series, but with one major flaw, that being that the anime only covers the first half of the manga and cuts off before everything can really properly resolve. They did tweak things a bit so the last episode does serve as at least something of a conclusion, but it's still just not quite there. Unless they do a second season to cover the rest, (which at present seems unfortunately unlikely) my recommendation would honestly just be to read the manga on dynasty scans, or watch the show and then read the rest. It is at least a very faithful adaptation, so I don't think you'd be missing too much if you choose the latter route. But yeah, either way, if you only do one thing off this list, this one is what I'd suggest.

---

I hope this helped! Went bit overboard here, whoops ^^;

#not a reblog #asks #yuri #bloom into you #yagakimi #yagate kimi ni naru #symphogear #magirevo #citrus #black rock shooter #brs #princess principal #izetta the last witch #urara meirochou #konohana kitan #the executioner and her way of life #wandering witch #otherside picnic #lycoris recoil #lycoreco #kase-san #bocchi #gundam #gundam witch from mercury #witch from mercury

[subparcarrion]

CW//TW: kinda vent, discussion of tics and tic attacks (and some of the aftermath for me), discussion of high stress and anxiety situations, cussing/cursing, discussion of physical pain, discussion of pills.

(ACTUAL POST UNDER CUT.)

So... yeah,,,

Tic attacks, gonna have to go with ☆☆☆☆☆/★★★★★ (0/5). Especially at close to four in the morning at a sleepover.

Not really sure why I'm deciding to put it out on the internet, but I guess I wanna talk about it or smth. And with March break and my crippling social anxiety the closest I've come to talking about it irl is a quick "that was kinda traumatic ngl" to a close friend over text.

In retrospect it makes sense, it's the most stressed I've been in a while now paired with a lot of just having to be constantly "on" and feeling scared to say no.

For context I did a pseudo babysitting job for a family friend from around mid afternoon to nearly midnight. I then decided to go a sleepover with my friends late since they had been kind enough to move the date so I could attend. (Probably not the best idea for the future who has a bad anxiety disorder and probably a lot of other stuff, but when have I ever said no.)

The job itself was pretty stressful but the kid and her mom's are super nice and did their best to accommodate me, so that was really nice. (They also paid me really well when I would have honestly done if for free so I'm not gonna complain. Anything bad was kinda just unavoidable considering it was me who was doing the job.)

Im also not really gonna bitch about the sleepover too much, my friends are lovely, the timing just made things rough.

Since I was arriving so late we hung out for like an hour and then went to bed (at least tried to go to bed), a lot of tha time was just kinda spent getting ready for bed though. There's nothing wrong with that, I just ended up feeling a little like I had missed out on the best part of stuff. (Again, no one else's fault.)

Everyone else fell asleep pretty quick, however I was not tired at all. It wasn't unexpected though, going from one high stress situation to another doesn't really let you let your guard down. Let alone feel properly sleepy.

So I just kinda did some stuff on my phone for thirty minutes to see if I would get tired and then decided to finally turn in for the night still very much all to aware of everything.

At this point it's probably important to mention that everyone in my froend group has at least a passing interest in a game called "The Stanley Parable". And if you didn't know you can go into an elevator in that game, and it kinda just plays this goofy elevator music in loup until you leave.

It is thus tradition in my friend group to play the elevator music while we fall asleep at any and all sleepovers where it is possible and everyone is chill with it.

The elevator is kinda some basic lyricless pop-ish kinda techno song where you can occasionally, if you listen closely enough hear the narrator hum along with the tune. The song itself is a certified banger, but I was stressed as fuck and hyperaware of everything. It was safe to say it was driving me crazy, especially the humming part.

I didn't really have any means to turn it off though and I would feel bad doing it. After all, I had agreed to it any it would be distruptful to try since it was super late and the room was pretty packed. To move around too much would probably wake someone up. (Wow, foreshadowing or smth.)

I never really got to sleep and it was around late three in the morning, nearly four when shit really started to hit the fan.

(Another bout of context before I continue: so I've had what I'm just calling tics at this point for about a year now, maybe a bit longer. At least that's when they started getting really noticeable and causing real problems for me. Personally for me it's mostly motor ticks that get much worse in stressful situations. Stressful situations being an iffy description that could cover pretty much anything on acount of the anxiety disorder. Albeit over time it has developed into mostly motor ticks with occasional verbal ones.

I can have periods where they are happening very few times a day and then ones where they are happening several times a minute, either way they never really go away. I had been doing pretty good tick wise before this whole ordeal, now it's definitely leaning towards the worse, more disruptive and painful side.)

It started off with a ciuple of my usual motor tics, getting more and more aggressive very quickly. For the most part these would consist of things like my shoulders jumping up and hitting the vase of my head and neck or my hands doing weird shit.

By the time the verbal tics started the motor tics were so aggressive and frequent they were getting pretty painful. This would be the same time I would start making small squeaks as a verbal tick.

It became pretty clear after that this wasn't stopping any time soon so I sat up and used my pillow to cover my mouth in hopes to muffle the noise so I wouldn't wake anyone.

This was the point where something changed and my tics got the worst they'd ever been. It went from squeaks to small screams and loud grunts. And I was just sitting there in pain scared out of my mind for nearly and hour before the noise finally woke up my friends. Cuz despite all my effort a pillow can't hide constant screaming for very long.

When my friends woke up they were reasonably concerned, they knew I had tics that could occasionally get kinda bad but this was the worst it had been, and I could barely explain through the ticks that it had been going on for about an hour. There was definitely no way I was calming them down, and in all fairness I was freaking out too and they handled the whole shitshow remarkably well.

They probably spent twenty minutes or more trying to calm me down or help, but nothing was working, in fact it might have been getting worse. One of my friends also tried Google-ing it, but Google pretty much said drug him or ignore them were feasible options for yours truly, the little bitch boy.

My friend eventually got their mom and I regained enough control to pack my shit and got driven home. I downed as much sleeping and pain meds as I was allowed to take and continued ticking until I passed out.

Idk,,, not a particularly entertaining story, ig I just wanted to get it out somewhere.

As for me right now, it's been two days and I can't go five minutes without some sort of tic at most.

However, I'm feeling somewhat better, even if my neck hurts like shit.

I suppose that's all, thanks for listening to me bitch and moan tumblr. <33 /p

-carrion_

------------------

#I don't really know what I have that's causing this #It's annoying as shit tha I don't know tho- whatever ig #tics #tw tics #tw: cussing #tw: pills #tw: physical pain #tw: anxiety #tw: discussion if mental health #story time #tw: vent #personal post #personal stuff #personal vent #personal shit #Ignore this maybe #Idk #anxiety disorder #Maybe it could be tourettes ?? Maybe autism ?? Idk. I'm not gonna self diagnose rn. #Fuck man I'm tired #fuck my body #owie #owie ouch ouch

[astarionposting]

Hi, I just want to say that your work is stunning and we're very thankful for it! I also hope that nobody is causing you problems about liking that other route...It's ludicrous that people still act like children when it comes to what others enjoy, not to mention that if you show them two pictures of Astarion they won't even be able to tell which one is the 'bad' route and which one is the 'good' one.

Other than that, I wish you a very nice day!

Thank you so much! 🥹🥹 I’m so so happy you enjoy my content.

Thankfully no one has caused me any issues with Ascended Astarion stuff haha. I guess because I do acknowledge he is 100% evil if he ascends, but SOMETIMES I LIKE ME AN EVIL MAN!! I enjoy both routes and think they are both super fun to play.

I love Spawn Astarion for him being able to overcome his fears, open up, heal and become “better” (but still pretty cheeky and wanting to create as much chaos as possible) and end the cycle of abuse, which is very personal to me as well in my own trauma. I love that he is able to overcome what I would consider an unhealthy coping mechanism to his fear; he is scared, so his reaction is to obtain as much power over everyone else so no one can ever hurt him again, but then he would lose himself in the process… and his SO if you decide not to become his spawn. I mean, he pretty much becomes his BIGGEST fear, his own source of 200 years of trauma and abuse (“the new cazador”—just like Cazador did since he was also a spawn and killed his own master for power out of fear—if I’m remembering correctly).

BUT I also like the Ascended Astarion route for how tragic it is. How you can really see right through him and how he ISN’T satisfied. He gets so angry with you if you even point it out a little bit, that sacrificing all of those souls, including his own in a way, didn’t fix anything. He’s still so insecure. He is still afraid (he’s just much more aggressive and defensive about it). He is still unhappy and he will never actually be free. I mean, it’s a deal with MEPHISTOPHELES. He might have been freed from one master, but now he owes his power to another, much more dangerous and powerful being. Not only that, but he will never be free from himself. If you listen to Cazador’s inner thoughts, you can hear how much he WANTS to die, how much he HATES being a soulless and vile vampire with only a lust for blood. No capability to love, to care, to be any part of who he might’ve been before.

The song “hurt” by NIN makes me think of Ascended Astarion. He says “we can have it all, we can take the world”. But what is “having it all?”. “Having it all” to me would be the Spawn ending. Being free of his abuser, being free of owing his power to someone else, being able to be HIMSELF and surrounded by people who care about him because of who he is, not because of his power.

Anyways I’m not that great at writing my thoughts coherently so I’ll stop there lol, but I also like his voice lines cause they can be kind of hot because also kind of goofy 😭 😭 and it’s fiction!! I read the wildest fanfic out there but if an actual man spoke to me that way, I would be OUT OF THERE SOOOO FAST lol

I don’t like to call them the “bad” or “good” ending, because it’s different for everyone. I mean, it’s a ROLEPLAYING GAME. Yeah, if your Tav/Durge is good alignment, then the spawn ending may seem to be the “good” one, but if your Tav/Durge is evil then wouldn’t the vampire ascendent ending technically be “good” for them? Anyways, I just think people struggle to separate reality from fiction when they get too deep into it. I love soft-ish and cheeky vampire and also evil and hot vampire like WE CAN ENJOY BOTH!!!

Anyways, thank you so much again and I hope you also have a wonderful day!! ❤️

#my asks #ALSO LISTEN TO THAT SONG #IT IS SUCH A GOOD SONG #AND THE LYRICS WHEN I THINK OF AA MAKES ME 😔 #also I didn’t look over this before posting it so it might make 0 sense and there may be a bunch of typos lol

[bellofthemeadow]

The Road ahead - ch 4 | Frankie Morales x female reader

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

For most of your married life, you dedicated yourself to waiting for Frankie. After each deployment, you patiently awaited his return, longing for the moment when he would be by your side again. During those nights when nightmares consumed his thoughts, you yearned for him to open up to you, hoping that he would find solace in sharing his pain. And as his addiction spiraled out of control, you held onto the hope that he would recognize his problem and seek help. However, despite your countless protests and pleas, you now find yourself waiting for him once more as he ventures off to Colombia, engaged in God knows what.

But this time is different. Determined, you make a solemn promise to yourself: You will never wait for Frankie again.

Rating: M for Mature (18 + no minors allowed)

Word Count: 5.5K

Warning: Applicable for the entire fic / PTSD, drug use and addiction, postpartum depression, abusive familial relationships, self-hatred, unhealthy coping mechanism, explicit sexual content, violence, mentions of suicidal thoughts, super angsty

Chapter Summary: A long overdue confrontation takes place where you have to face Frankie's lies.

Notes: Hello again everyone! Oh my God, I am so excited about this brand-new, shiny chapter!! That entire interaction was what brought me to imagine this fic in the first place. I hope you all like as much as I had fun writing it (I am a big slut for angst so beware). Thank you again for the support and let me know what you all think <3 <3 <3

Letting Go

Letter #1

August 19th, 2008

To the prettiest girl at the bar,

Hey there... So, before I go any further, I need to apologize for making my getaway from your place that morning in such a rush. I had to be on base at 0530, and I didn't want to disturb your sleep. Seriously, you looked so peaceful in that cozy bed of yours. If I had any type of artistic talent, I would've painted a masterpiece to capture that moment. I mean, I'm no Picasso or anything, but just imagine the most breathtaking sight you can ever imagine and that's exactly how you looked that morning.

I really hope I'm not coming across as strange or anything by reaching out to you like this. You see, as I was making my exit, I happened to glimpse your address on one of those letters sitting on your kitchen counter. And one of the perks of being an army pilot (aside from flying, of course), is that I tend to have a decent memory and your address stuck with me long enough to scribble it down later at base. Please, please don't get the wrong idea here! I know it might sound a bit, um, stalker-ish, but I promise you, that's not what's going on in the slightest.

I got to admit, I'm feeling a little shy about writing this letter. Swear to you, I've never done anything like this before! It isn’t some cheesy move that army dudes pull to charm the ladies (well, maybe some do), but I promise you, that isn’t my intention at all! I'm afraid I might be rambling here, and the more I go on, the more I feel like I'm messing this up!

To be honest, I didn't know what to do with your address. But it kept catching my eye every morning when I rolled out of bed and right before I hit the hay. The time we spent together just kept playing on a loop in my mind. And you? You've been sticking to my thoughts like glue.

That night we had; it was like sparks ignited in my head. I couldn't let it slip away without taking a shot, without letting you know how I’ve been feeling these past two weeks since that night.

I guess it's kind of unconventional, reaching out to you like this with a letter. But something inside me just wants to explore if there's something even more special that could sprout between us. I can't get your smile out of my head, or the perfect way we connected. It’s never happened to me before. It's like fate brought us together that night. Like our souls were destined to weave together. You’re always on my mind, and I'm aching to learn more about the beautiful soul that's stolen my heart.

So here I am at 3 am in my bunk, writing this letter while holding my breath and hoping you're open to taking a leap with me.

I'll be here, waiting for your reply. But please, know this: if what I felt, that connection I think we shared, doesn't resonate with you, there's no need to feel bad. I don't want you to feel obligated or burdened by any expectations.

Our time together was a precious moment, one that I hold dear and will hold dear forever. And if our hearts don't align in the same way, I understand. We all navigate our own paths, and sometimes they lead us in different directions.

Please, don't feel guilty if you choose not to respond. Our connection, albeit short, was a gift. I cherish the memories we created, and I will hold onto the possibility of what could have been with a grateful heart.

Wishing you nothing but happiness and fulfillment,

The terrible wingman from the bar,

(Francisco Morales)

Letter # 2

September 2nd, 2008.

Dear Francisco,

Your letter was a real shock, to say the least. I woke up the morning you left feeling so empty without you there. I combed through the entire house hoping to find a clue, maybe you had scribbled down your number somewhere. I must have deep-cleaned my apartment twice in the hope of finding a scrap of paper with your name on it. At some point, I thought it might have been a dream, that I had imagined that amazing, gorgeous, and generous man with whom I spent the night. I was sure I was crazy and then, out of nowhere, your letter came. It made me question whether you enjoy giving ladies emotional scares. I’ve barely known you for a full day and it already feels like being on a rollercoaster ride. Is this what life is for you Francisco? The helicopter pilot, always seeking a new high?

I want you to know that there's no need for you to worry. The connection we experienced that night has also stayed with me, occupying my thoughts ever since. It's as if the memory of our time together has become an integral part of myself, refusing to fade away. Your letter touched me in a way that no one else ever has. It was the most romantic and adorable gesture anyone has ever done for me.

I must confess, I feel deeply flattered by the lengths you've gone to express your feelings for me. It's not something you encounter every day—a man putting so much effort into writing a letter to a girl he spent just one night with. And while I cannot deny that such attention could have easily ventured into the realm of being slightly creepy, there is something inexplicable about your gestures that managed to bypass any unease within me.

I can't help but wonder what that means for you and me. Maybe, just as you said, it was fate that brought us together that night.

Francisco, now that you've opened the door to your world, I don’t intend to shut it close. My desire to know you better has blossomed into something more profound. I yearn to uncover the layers of your being and to understand the depths of your passions, dreams, and weaknesses.

Every time I close my eyes, the memory of your hands caressing my skin resurfaces, leaving an indelible mark on my senses. It's as if your touch awakened a dormant part of me, igniting a fire that I never knew existed. I find myself longing for the warmth of your embrace, the tenderness in your eyes, and the sound of your laughter that brought music to my ears.

But, Francisco, I also want to be honest with you. Your sudden disappearance left me confused and uncertain. I need reassurance that you are equally invested in seeing where this might go. I need to know that you won't disappear again without a trace. My parents fought constantly when I was a child. So for me, communication is essential, and I believe that openness and honesty are paramount to laying strong foundations for whatever this might become.

If those terms are agreeable, I will wait for your letter impatiently. In the meanwhile, please take care and make sure to prioritize your safety and try to avoid taking unnecessary risks for me. I can't help but worry about you, and I want nothing more than for you to stay out of harm's way as much as possible.

Warmly

The girl from the bar

Letter # 17

April 19, 2009.

Hola preciosa,

Once again, last night you appeared in my dreams, as you so often do. But this time, it felt unbelievably real, like a distant yet familiar memory that I couldn't quite grasp. We were together at your place, surrounded by warmth and coziness while raindrops fell outside. It was just the two of us, lost in our own little world, wrapped in the comfort of each other's presence. Although the exact details escape me, I vividly remember the way you touched me, as if your fingers left an indelible mark on my skin. If given the chance, I would choose to spend my last moments in your arms, savouring the most beautiful thing of all—your love.

Those mere four days we spent together back in January were nothing short of a cruel tease. It's as if every time I lay my eyes on you, my love for you sprouts like an overenthusiastic weed, making it increasingly excruciating to bid you farewell each time. I'm still amazed at how I managed to be only fifteen minutes late for base that day. Let's just say those extra rounds of push-ups were a small sacrifice in exchange for the extra pleasure of your company.

As I write this, Benny has decided it's the perfect time to hover behind me, boasting about his self-proclaimed status as the brilliant mastermind behind us. Can you believe him? As if his presence that night we met magically transformed him into a love guru. Anyway, Benny says hello, as do Will and Santi, although you haven't met them yet. I truly hope that the next time we all have time off from base, you'll have the chance to meet them. Those guys are like brothers to me, and I really want you to get to know them. I'm certain they'll like you as much as I cherish you.

 I know that until now, we've kept our personal lives somewhat separate, with your work at the library, your family, and your friends, and the same goes for me. But now, I want you to be an integral part of my life, a constant presence. Even when I'm away, I want to know that I am yours and you are mine. You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking since January (Yes it happens often before you say anything), and I've come to realize that I can no longer imagine my life without you by my side. When I think about the future, I see you right there beside me. But if I try to imagine a life without you, it feels incredibly dark, and I feel like everything would lose its meaning.

I know this might sound completely insane. I know people would say that we haven't been seeing each other long enough for these kinds of declarations. But Hermosa, when you know, you know.

When I return from base, all I want is to hold you in my arms until they fall off. I want to be able to hold your hand as we stroll through town, and I want to shout from rooftops that you are mine! Even now, when I look at the picture you gave me, it fills me with a warm feeling that envelops my entire body, and I can't help but proudly show your picture to everyone, telling them how lucky I am that a girl like you would even remotely look at someone like me. You inspire me to be a better person, my lovely one. Everything feels worthwhile with you. I can't imagine a world where we're not together, and I want to think about you every single day for the rest of my life.

My dearest love, you are the sky that stretches above me. Just as the sun illuminates the world on bright days, you radiate warmth and light, filling my heart with boundless joy. When clouds gather and cast their shadows, it is you who transforms the room, turning even the gloomiest moments into something serene and comforting. I know that together we can weather any storms that may come our way.

My love, until Uncle Sam lets us be together again, I will keep on finding my comfort in those four days we shared in January. Those precious moments have woven themselves deep into my heart, and they hold a special place that no distance could ever diminish. I cannot wait to be home with you and create new memories to intertwine with them.

Please take care and know that I love you a little bit more every day.

Yours forever,

Frankie

Letter # 18

April 25th 2009

My sweet Frankie,

Your letter moved me to tears when I first read it. After I put it down, I picked it up again and found myself crying even more. I was afraid that I was the only one experiencing such intense emotions. I worried that perhaps you were more interested in a casual connection and that we might not be fully aligned in our desires for each other and our relationship. However, I'm relieved to discover that I'm not alone in feeling this deeply. Thoughts of you consume my mind constantly, and those days we spent together in January remain some of the most incredible moments of my entire life.

Frankie, I believe you complete me. You fill that void within me that I've always sensed, like finding the perfect missing puzzle piece to finish a picture. You are that missing piece, and since meeting you, my life has finally felt whole.

I couldn't care less about what others may say or think about us, Frankie. You are everything to me, and I want to shout it from my windows so that the whole world can hear. And if anyone wants to say that it's moving too quickly, then to hell with all of them! Every day, I find myself yearning for your presence beside me. I come across little things that remind me of you, and it makes me wish you were here with me. For instance, just yesterday at work, I was going through the donation bin and I stumbled on a children's book about helicopters. It instantly painted a picture in my mind of a little Frankie flipping through the colourful pages, and it filled me with so much warmth and affection.

Frankie, I also really want our lives to blend together. Meeting your friends would be amazing, and I hope you'll get to know mine too. I already had a great time with Benny, so I'm sure your other friends are just as awesome. Since I know how important they are to you, I'm genuinely excited about building bridges with them. I know it's uncertain when you'll be allowed off base or if there's a chance you might be sent far away from me. But maybe, just maybe, the next time you have some leave, we could start building this life together. Waiting any longer feels unbearable to me.

Until we can be together again, my dearest love, you will remain in my heart and appear in my dreams, bringing me some moments of respite while I wait for you. Despite the distance that separates us, my passion for you burns brightly and the flame of my love will keep burning ever bright regardless of the physical divide. With each passing day, I find myself yearning for the next time I will see you, but in the meantime, I will treasure the memories we have started to weave together. And I will find comfort in their warmth and hold onto the hope that our love will grow even stronger with every beat of our hearts.

Yours forever,

Letter # Too many to keep track of

June 12th, 2011

Mi cielo,

Do you remember that summer two years ago? Because I do. I had a two-week leave, and we went to the Miller's for a BBQ. You were wearing a beautiful blue dress that made you look like the sky on a clear summer day. God, you were so beautiful. We were having a great time when Benny told a stupid story that made you laugh so hard that your drink came out of your nose. I remember how embarrassed you got. But then you turned to me, and the embarrassment seemed to melt from your shoulder, and you couldn't stop laughing, your eyes were twinkling like the stars. It was such a beautiful sight and that's when I knew deep down that one day, I would marry you. You would be my wife, someone I would always hold, protect, and cherish until the end of time.

And today, my love, that day has arrived. You know how I struggle in front of a crowd, mi cielo. My words tend to stumble, and I find it challenging to maintain my voice. It's as if all the words jumble up in my throat, eager to escape all at once, resulting in a tangled mess of sentences. That's why I've chosen to write my vows to you in a letter, just like we've been exchanging since the day we first met. You once told me that you could see the truest version of me when I write to you, and I hope that on this special day, through this letter, I can make the side of me that can truly convey the depth of my love for you appear. Better than my spoken words ever could.

My beloved, from this day forward, I make you this lifelong promise. I promise to hold you close, to always offer comfort and support whenever you need it. You can count on me to be there, I will aim to be a steadfast presence in your life, like a rock you can always lean on. I will protect you and care for you for as long as live like a shield guarding against any storms that may come our way. No matter what challenges we face, I will be yours, never doubt that.

But mi cielo, my love for you goes beyond the grand moments that I hope will mark some of our journeys together. I vow to cherish you in the simple gestures also, where I think our love shines the brightest. Its with the gentle touch of our intertwined fingers, the way our laughter always seems to harmonize and in the unspoken understanding that always passes between us without the need for words.

As we walk side by side through the tapestry of life, I promise to be your faithful lover, always by your side, supporting you in every step you take. I will celebrate your victories with joy and stand with you during the challenges we encounter along the way. Together, we will continue to create a beautiful life that I cannot wait to keep on building with you

My beloved, today I pour forth these vows from the depths of my heart. They are not fleeting words but an enduring pledge, a testament to my unwavering love and devotion. As the days unfurl, my affection for you shall only deepen, like roots reaching ever further into the soil. I am filled with gratitude and blessed to call you my partner, my confidant, and my dearest friend.

Today I will say yes to forever with you and I know it will be the sweetest promise of all.

Te amaré siempre

Your Francisco

______________________________________________________________

"I want you to explain whatever the hell this is, Frankie. And no lies this time."

Frankie freezes. He cannot tear his eyes away from the 3 little baggies neatly placed in a row in front of you. Words get stuck in his throat as he tries to find something, anything to say to you.

"You've got nothing to say? Well, let me fill in the blanks for you, Frankie. I found one of these tucked away in your old boots, and the other one in your work drawer. I must admit, I'm still completely fucking baffled. How could you? How could you bring that into our home, Frankie? Especially when you're well aware of how absolutely unacceptable it is, especially with the baby."

Frankie looks around frantically, searching for an explanation. "How did you..."

"How did I find those? Well, I'm so glad you asked, Frankie." A surge of anger fuels your words as you take a step closer, your finger pointing accusatorily towards the door. "Let me shed some light on the precise moment when your little plan crumbled, right there in the car. The fucking car!!!" Your voice slices through the air, causing Frankie to wince.

"I had to learn from Benny and Will how you got back on cocaine! They slapped me in the face with the truth about your lies, how you’ve been deceiving me from the moment the plane touched the ground! How could you not tell me, Frankie? I thought we were doing well; you promised you would talk to me if things were getting hard!"

You take a deep breath, attempting to sort through the jumble of words clamouring to escape all at once. Emotions, accusations, fears, and disappointments vie to be hurled at Frankie.

"Well, let me tell you, hearing about how much your husband loves lying to you from Will and Benny was utter and complete shit! So, I thought I could let myself have a cigarette to help swallow that bitter pill. I knew you stashed some in the dashboard. But what did I find there? Not fucking cigarettes, Frankie! COKE? In the dashboard, really?! You've already had your damn piloting license revoked. Do you want to end up in jail on top of everything? Have you any clue what the cops would do if they caught you with this shit? Goddamn it, Frankie, how could you do this to me? How could you do this to Ella?"

Your voice quivers as you struggle to catch your breath. Years of bottled-up frustration and the pain of Frankie's betrayal finally overflow. Yet Frankie remains silent, avoiding your gaze and looking down at his own shoes in shame.

“FUCKING SAY SOMETHING” You roar as tears of anger start to fall down your face “You can’t just lie to me for weeks and hide cocaine in our home and not say anything!”

"Mi ciel..." Frankie softly starts, but you snap back, "Don't call me that, Frankie! You don’t have any right to call me that, especially not now!" The weight of your words hits Frankie, and his face fills with anguish.

"Please, you have to believe that I'm so damn sorry. I never meant for any of this. I wasn't going to take any of it, I fucking swear..." You scoff, cutting him off, "Oh, you swear? You've got cocaine in your goddamn boots, and you expect me to believe you weren't going to take any? Fuck, do you even have some on you now?" Swearing more than you’ve ever in your life, you realize you've unleashed a torrent of profanity that you can't seem to control. It's as if a dam has burst within you, and you're either unable or unwilling to stop it.

Frankie's silence hangs heavily in the air, his right-hand trembling with restless anxiety. A wave of numbing unease washes over you, and in a voice barely above a whisper, you manage to muster the words, "Frankie, do you have cocaine on you right now?" Frankie's hand, consumed by nerves, instinctively dives into his breast pocket, retrieving a small baggie. The tension in the room intensifies as he places it alongside the others on the table, its size and contents mirroring the rest.

Silence echoes in the room.

"Get out," you say with a stern voice.

"Wait, wait! I'm so damn sorry. I swear, I wasn't planning on touching any of it. It's just... knowing it's there, somehow it eases the pain that I can’t seem to get out of? But I promise you, I had no real intentions of actually using it. Please, please believe me!" Frankie pleads desperately, his voice trembling with a mix of fear and anguish.

"Are you even hearing the words coming out of your own mouth? Maybe you can fool yourself, but you can't fool me. Not anymore. If it was just me, maybe I could brush it off, but I won't let Estrella be exposed to that" you say unwaveringly, though deep inside, the pain of seeing Frankie's face twisted with anguish and devastation pierces your heart. "And let me be crystal clear, Frankie. I don't owe you a damn thing! You're the one who lied, the one who got lost in that haze, the one who chose drugs over your own damn family. Not me. Well, guess what Frankie? I've hit my breaking point."

"Hermosa, please, I'm begging you from the depths of my soul. I promise to change, to become a better person. I'll go to therapy, find a sponsor—whatever it takes to make things right. Please, don't do this to us," Frankie pleads desperately, his voice filled with pain and heartache as if every word is a cry for salvation. “I can’t bear the thought of a life without you, of losing the love that has defined everything for so long. Please hermosa” Frankie’s voice cracks and almost makes you flinch in your resolve. But you steel yourself.

"Don't put the blame on me, Frankie. I've already given you all the support I could. I've respected your silence, comforted you through your nightmares, and endured being pushed away. I've watched you withdraw into yourself, and nothing I did or said seemed to make a difference! I thought that if you didn't want to talk to me, it would be better if you spoke with a professional. I've made efforts to get you into therapy, rescheduling appointments when you didn't like the therapist, and even searched for support groups for veterans in the city, despite knowing well that you've never attended any of them. I've been working double shifts since before Ella was born because you've been grounded. I've held this family together with every ounce of my strength. I've pushed and pushed, but now, Frankie, I'm exhausted. I can't push anymore. What I need from you now is to leave and help yourself," you explain, your voice laden with exhaustion.

"What about Ella? Are you going to deny me the chance to see my own daughter?" Frankie's voice quivers with a mixture of anguish and frustration, as he feels himself losing control. In his desperation, he resorts to lashing out, aware of the vulnerabilities he can exploit, quite like the skilled military man he is, used to exploiting weaknesses in an opponent's defences.

"I can't believe you would even ask me that," you reply, feeling hurt. Frankie avoids your eyes, his own filled with shame for his hurtful words. "I'm not a monster. Of course, you can see Ella. But deep down, we both know it would be better for her if her father were to take care of himself," you continue in a softer tone. "I've tried to heal for you, Frankie, but now I realize this isn't healthy. This is a step you need to take on your own. I'm tired, and I can't do this anymore."

"What the hell happened to 'for better or for worse'? You promised me we'd face any storm together, but the moment things get tough, you fucking disappear," Frankie's voice loudly fills the air.

Raising your gaze, you respond defensively "That's just not fair, and you know it." Letting out a heavy sigh, you gather the strength to continue, "Frankie, I've done everything I can to support you, but it's becoming painfully clear that my love and help have only pushed you deeper into whatever hell you are in right now. Damn it, maybe my mom was onto something. Maybe I am broken or completely unlovable. Maybe there's something wrong with me if my own husband can't trust his wife and turns to drugs instead." Tears well up as you wrap your arms around yourself, the weight of sobs stuck in your throat. The raw emotions in your voice make it clear that this pain cuts deep.

"No, no, no, Mi cielo, don't say that. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean any of it, fuck, I didn't mean any of it. I know you tried; I know you've been trying for so long. You are not unlovable; you are the most amazing woman in the world. I am the one who doesn’t deserve you, I am the one who has never deserved you. Fuck I can’t believe I would say that to you, how could I make you feel like that." Frankie's voice loses its strength.

"None of this is your fault; it's all on me. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll go and seek help, and I promise you, I'll become the man that both you and Ella deserve," Frankie's voice quivers with remorse as he slowly approaches you, his arms outstretched, seeking to bring you into a comforting embrace.

But you are unable to bear your husband’s touch just yet and so you raise one trembling hand while keeping the other tightly wrapped around yourself, motioning for him to halt. "No, please... I can't handle your touch right now. I... I know I'll flinch, and it's not what you need, what Ella needs," you express with a quiver in your voice, a delicate blend of vulnerability and unwavering determination. "I'll be at work tomorrow, from 8 am to 6 pm, and Mrs. Hu will be taking care of Ella. You can come and collect anything you need during that time."

Frankie's sobs grip him overwhelmingly, tears cascading down his face like a torrent, but he manages to muster a nod of acceptance before slowly making his way toward the door. Just as his trembling hand reaches for the doorknob, he pauses, his gaze locked with yours, his voice barely a whisper choked with emotion.

"I'm really, really sorry, Mi cielo. The pain I've caused you is too much, and I carry the weight of my mistakes like a heavy burden. I want you to know that I take full responsibility for hurting our relationship and our family. It's all my fault, and I can't even find the words to express how deeply I regret everything."

His voice trembles, revealing the desperation in his heart as he goes on, “But please, trust me when I tell you that I won't give up. I won't let cocaine define who I can be. I'll find a way, no matter how tough the road ahead, to mend the broken parts of myself. I'll seek the help and guidance I need to heal, to become the husband and father that both you and Ella deserve."

And with that, he gathers the strength to turn away. His footsteps gradually fade as he leaves the room, leaving behind the lingering echoes of what you hope is Frankie’s sincere promise.

As the door closes, you crumble to the ground, consumed by doubt, pain, and anxiety. The weight of your actions bears down heavily, suffocating any shred of certainty. Questions flood your mind: Have you betrayed the sacred promises of your marriage? The thought gnaws at your conscience, tormenting you relentlessly. Perhaps, if you had been more understanding, more accommodating, this heart-wrenching situation could have been prevented. The self-blame intensifies, distorting your sense of self-worth into a hollow mockery.

Frankie has barely been gone for a few seconds, and yet your heart screams to chase after him. The urge to fix what's broken, to salvage the crumbling remnants of your relationship, grips you with an iron fist. But amidst the chaos of emotions, a flicker of clarity emerges. This painful separation, as agonizing as it feels, is something you need. It's a painful necessity for your own well-being, for the sake of Ella, and for the survival of your fractured family.

Trembling with uncertainty, you repeat to yourself like a desperate mantra, "You need this. You need this." Each word echoes with a haunting mix of determination, fear, and hope, reminding you of the bitter truth that sometimes, the most agonizing path is the only way forward.

You find yourself repeating the words over and over again, the echoes resounding through the shattered fragments of your soul. It becomes a desperate mantra, a chant that reverberates within the hollow chambers of your being: "You can't flinch. You mustn't flinch. You can't flinch. You mustn't flinch." Each repetition, like a plea to yourself, carries the weight of your determination to stay strong, to withstand the emotional turmoil that engulfs you.

Exhaustion eventually overtakes you, guiding your weary steps towards yours and Frankie's bedroom – now yours alone for the foreseeable future. As you reach the edge of your bed, a profound emptiness permeates your soul, accentuating the hollow void within. A sight catches your attention: the green duvet carelessly tossed on the floor, a remnant of the hasty morning departure.

 With a heavy sigh, you pick up the comforter, its fabric still carrying traces of Frankie's presence. Bringing it close to your face, you inhale deeply, drawing in his lingering scent, a bittersweet reminder of the love that once thrived in this room. Wrapping yourself in the duvet, you cocoon your fragile frame, seeking solace in its familiar itchy warmth. The world around you fades away as you surrender to a dreamless slumber, where you hope to find some respite from the relentless ache in your heart.

Next Chapter

#fanfic #fic #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales fanfic #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #francisco morales x reader #francisco catfish morales #francisco morales #pedro boys #pedrohub #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom

[monstrouslyobsessed]

…tumblr can you go and soak yourself in a burning pit of hot sauce…i never even got notifs of any of the older asks i got…

so very sorry if you've been waiting for like two months on my answers;;; and here i was wondering how dead my inbox was last month…rude, tumblr, very rude. all the asks are under the cut!

just a quick note, to the super sweet asker who send in two very long asks v recently, ima answer them separately after this one, if thats okay!! &lt;3

tw / tags: dirty confession, monster fucking, breeding mentions, implied noncon, brief pregnancy mentions, long post, beastfolk / beastfolks characters mentioned: lady hyena, the lioness, conservative lion, papa bull, duke, cerelos, father fox, velarius

I love Daddy Bull and Duke, (along with so many other of your works!), do you have any plans on doing a confrontation between the two bulls and the reader? My thirst is dryer than the Sahara for these two bulls. I need more content. I’m a desperate whore… 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。 —anonymous

hm i'm STILL chewing on how this saga should go tbf because it really could go any way!!! i might just bite the bullet and write au's of papa bull and duke saga, even if i feel a little weird making varying storyline au's of my characters.

it was just supposed to be a bull daddy enjoying his little human, how did duke end up there lol

I know everyone is dying over Baldur’s gate rn but have you heard of Lustful Desires on itch.io? I just got into it and I’m dying to talk about it. They literally let you have a poly relationship with 3 different werewolves it’s so good —@flameshadowwolf

i've never heard of it! ima have to check it out now, thanks for the rec &lt;3

Sorry if you consider this a request, but I'm very interested about your OC's yandere MBTI types (from @ddarker-dreams), so if you feel like it, can you identify them in this system? —anonymous

i…ah, am kinda bad with these mbti things. idk if its because i'm older than most writers i know (hi lock my love!! hope you're doing fantastic!), but i guess i can make my best attempt…? i'll just pick a few characters and list them for ya. if you want more specific characters or want me to make an official post with expanded explation, lmk and i'll make my best attempt

here's the link for anyone who are interested

lady hyena: reverent, delusional(?), manipulative (?), lenient, rdml the lioness: reverent, aware, honest, and strict(?), rahs conservative lion: cruel, aware, honest, and strict, cahs papa bull: reverent, delusional, honest, and strict(?), rdhs duke: cruel(?), delusional, manipulative, and strict, cdms father fox: reverent, aware, honest, and lenient(ish), rahl valerius: reverent, delusional(?), manipulative, and lenient, rdml

that's just a few! and they're all beastfolks since they're more fresh in my mind, aha. i tried my best hhh

Thirst chat thought: Have you ever thought that Cerelos could just find a way to tie up his wife underneath him as a cock sleeve, gag her, and just walk around a bit for the day doing royal duties and stuff? The man already has a equine skirt he wears, so he can easily hide everything underneath… (Also I’d happily give this man a dozen babies because I am a simp for him 💕) —anonymous

i think i touched upon that at one point! i wanna say he did that during a large meeting, maybe with his darling magically gagged? lemme see if i can find that post…

found it! its super brief but still

well, now i wanna write that…that's one more to my long to-do list, aha.

also you're valid

I am a simple man all I desire is your happiness. Tis all. I noticed you were feeling sad lately and I thought man next time I have extra money I'll kofi MO but recently I acquired a small fortune and I was happy to find a way to repay you for the time my friends and I giggle and go horny over your works Re-Reading your works is payment enough ….but if you wish to repay me I wouldn't mind maybe a dilf monster vampire (kinda like what you did for wolf pack? but Victorian times) or sequel to snake movie star or sequel/prequel dragon But I would rather you do what you are passionate about! Share your creations with the world! Rejoice in your delights! —anonymous

hi i love you and i swear i answered this before

i did the snek boi just for you <3 i hope you (and your friends!!) enjoyed it! he's a difficult boi to get through but i had fun writing him and his weird camera hobby

link: SMILE FOR THE CAMERA

Also increase your kofi goal —anonymous

im…okay. i didn't really have a goal target in mind so i hope thats sufficient??? sdfkdfj

Which of the beast folk are most likely to mate with humans? Like what about big cat beastfolk? —anonymous

it'd be fangedfolk, since they're canine (dogs) and are most attracted to the humans'…hm , simplicity and openness, i suppose you could say? and possibly treefolk (primates). i based my beastfolks' basic common grounds with irl animals, as canines are pack animals and dogs are more emotionally connected to us. as for primates, humans have evolutionary connections, similar social intelligence, and the shared abilities to solve problems and such.

that said, while fangedfolk are the most likely to have a human "companion", they are also most likely to have a poly pack with their human. whiskeredfolk (feline) are probably in the top-middle of that list, if we were to have a most-to-least likely ranking, with toothedfolk (rodents) due to their prey/nervous natures and seafolks (aquatic) on how dangerous/rare they are to communicate with, at the very bottom. the reason why i feel the whiskeredfolk being in the top-middle is that they can be fairly arrogant and being independent, but adores the complete attention their human can give them and how easily they are to manipulate.

that said, this is extremely generalized list, since the list is not really factoring in specific sub-groups under these categories, such as lions being social animals and are more likely to acquire a human lover, cheetahs more likely to need a service human pet to help with their anxieties, maned wolf being solitary type, etc. and other facets, like countries/areas, cultures, when/which eras, political affiliations, etc.

hope this answers your question, love!

Hello, I've been binging your Masterlist and I just want to say your OCS are exquisite —anonymous

i think you're exquisite as well, love! <3 thank you~

Are you eventually going to do more father fox content?? He's my favorite and I love him so much ♥️ —anonymous

ye! i have couple requests for more hcs for him~though they're all kinda pretty broad. if you have anything more specific for a hc request, hmu! i'd love to write a full piece of him someday too, since i think his quietly manipulative personality is fascinating to work with.

Daddy Bull and Duke content soon? I NEED these two fine beasts in my life!!! And can’t wait till the cute baby arrives!!! And hopefully many more…😋🥰 —anonymous

send in a request then~! preferably something a bit less broad, aha, but yes!

i especially would love to write a full story of those two someday, maybe as a book?

Hi hey sorry to bother you, hypothetically if I wanted to make an ai bot of one of your beastfolks, would that be alright? If not I totally understand, I just want to make sure! —anonymous

as long as there are proper credits included, go for it! just please be sure to link back to me if you do make one &lt;3

whewwww, i...really hope i didn't miss anyone. most of them were (or looked like) a request of some kind and two i wanted to put into their own posts for me to answer soon.

hope yall are doing wonderfully and are having at least a decent holiday season!! ima try and get something nice out by christmas so heres hoping!! just...gonna decide on which i wanna do...lol.

#ghosts are curious.👻 #☠️not writing... #anonymous #asked #answered #☠️monster is whispering... #beastfolks #beastfolk

[glittter-vamp]

CHAPTER 9

Joe Burrow x Bisexual OC.

Warnings: 18+MDNI. Mention Of Death & Grief. Emotional Intimacy pretty much at 100 and smut-ish themes. Homophobia. Angsty yet Fluffy. Pretty heavy chapter overall.

Word Count: 3.4k

"Thank you for shopping with us, have a great day!" Val smiles at a customer that was in the store while handing them their shopping bag. It was Sunday which she usually didn't come in for but Elsa had went a little too hard at the Pride parade the day prior and Dani was off. So, it was just her and Kade in the store today making things happen. 

"Almost time to close, what a weekend!" Kade sighs moving a box of hangers. 

"It was pretty crazy, I guess since we closed yesterday for the parade people came today instead." Val says organizing a rack of shirts.

"I'm so glad I'm off for the next two days, I'm drinking a whole bottle of wine by myself tonight to destress." Kade lets out a breath. 

"You and me both." Val smiles. Them two make it through the last work hour with only one other customer coming in. Cleaning up quickly, they make it out of the store by 4:50 and in their cars to go home. Since it was Sunday evening the traffic wasn't so bad but living in a city meant it was still there regardless. As Val drove home she got a call from Joe. She had talked to him here and there, all through text after that argument they had. 

"Hello?" Val answers on the car Bluetooth. 

"Hey...are you out of work?" Joe asks. 

"I am. Why?" Val asks wondering why. 

"Would you mind stopping by the house today? Something came for you at the house." Joe says sounding just as confused as she was hearing that. 

"Uh, what do you mean something came for me...to your house? I've never your given address for anything to anyone." Val questions. 

"I'm just confused as you about it are but it's addressed to you, it's a letter." He says. 

"Does it seems like junk mail or something? That's so weird..." She asks as she drives. 

"No, it's hand written from within the state. Say's its from someone named Sabrina Farley." Joe responds back, Val's heart dropping hearing that. 

"Are you sure!?" Val asks trying to remain her cool. 

"That's what it says, I can drop it off during the week if you're busy--

"No, I'll come get it now. I'm in the car driving anyway." Val says. 

"Alright, you can let your self in. I have to rest up my leg. My knee has been feeling weird." Joe says. 

"Do you need anything?" Val asks. 

"Nah I'm good, but thanks. I appreciate that." Joe yawns. They hang up soon after and Val makes her way to Joe's.

***************************************

Pulling up to his house she parks in the driveway and lets her self in like he told her too. She could hear the tv, Joe was of course was watching some alien documentary like usual. Walking to the living room she see's Joe laying on his couch icing his knee. 

"So, what'd you do to your knee?" Val speaks up startling Joe and making her laugh. 

"I didn't hear you come in... but I think I went to hard in the gym yesterday." He shrugs looking at his leg,

"Better chill before everyone gets on your ass or you injure yourself again." Val shakes her head. 

"I know..." Joe sighs. 

"So about the letter?" Val asks awkwardly. 

"Oh yeah, here!" Joe reaches over and grabs the letter that was sitting beside the remote. 

"Here you go, I didn't open it or anything." He says handing her the white envelope. Val reads the name and she starts to feel uneasy about it. 

"I really have no idea how this person got your address. I'm real sorry this came here, that's super invasive." Val bites her lip looking at Joe. 

"It's alright. Do you know who that person is though?" Joe asks and she nods yes. 

"My older sister. Since I cut off contact from the family , they haven't had my number or address except for the twins who I actually haven't heard from in months." Val shakes her head. 

"Do you think it's something serious?" Joe asks sitting up, intrigued by what that letter held. 

"Must be if they sent it to your house and not mine, my store or any of my other friends houses." Val says ripping the letter open. 

Val starts reading the letter which was starting off first by apologizing being sent to Joe's house but that they couldn't find her address anywhere online and was scared that if it got sent to the store it would end up in someone else's business mailbox instead. Which Val found very weird but she continued reading. As she read the next line her heart sunk and felt her eyes water. 

"I hate to inform you that dad has been involved in a car accident two weeks prior from when I'm writing this. He doesn't seem to be progressing at all, therefore mom is going to make the hard decision to take him off life support tomorrow. Though, we felt the need to tell you, we ask that you do not come to the funereal nor contact any of us. We've seen you in the tabloids and still don't approve of your life choices and out of respect to god, the church, the family and most importantly dad it's best if you don't come. We don't need any shameful people around us during this hard time or someone to take the attention away from dad." 

"Val...Hey, Hey...what's going on? Breathe." Joe says to her as he runs up to her and catches her as she falls to her knees at the news she just read. Val lets out a sob as Joe tries to console her and get her seated on the couch. Not being able to barely breathe let alone talk, she hands the letter to Joe and he reads it keeping one hand on Val and rubbing her back as she cries. 

"I'm so sorry Val. This is isn't the way they should've told you." Joe says hugging her tight and kiss her head as she cries. 

"I probably already missed his funeral since this was sent a week ago. Why would they do that?" She sniffles shaking her head. 

"If you did, that's entirely their fault. They know what they were doing sending this letter, they could of called, sent this to your actual house or business or even gone to your store in person...instead they sent it to my house not even knowing if it would get to you two weeks after your fathers accident in which they didn't contact you. This was malicious on their part, you did nothing wrong." Joe says feeling nothing but anger over this situation for Val. He couldn't believe they would treat her this way but it became clear why Val separated herself from them.

"I-I should go home. I'm sorry for breaking down like this here. I should of opened that letter at home or something." Val says quickly getting up and wiping her tears, desperately trying to get herself together. 

"What?! No--Val, you're not driving while you're emotions are hitting you like this. You're still processing this." Joe says shaking his head and Val sighs. 

"I just know things aren't okay between us and going through this here--

"That's not important right now, what's important is that you stay here and not get behind the wheel while you're crying. I'm going to get you water, please just stay here and take a breath." Joe says sitting her down again and she just nods beginning to cry again. Val didn't couldn't believe that letter. Still processing everything from her fathers accident to him being taken off life support to her family asking her not to come to the funeral because of who she was was just something she couldn't believe but hurt like hell. It proved that she was yet not healed from her past with her family.

"Here." Joe says coming back with a water bottle. Val takes it and takes a few sips. 

"Is there anything I can do?" Joe asks sitting next to her. 

"Get me a time machine so I could tell my parents not to have me and spare everyone the disappointment that I am." Val sighs wiping her tears. 

"Don't say that. Just because they have a problem with who you are doesn't mean you don't have people around you that love and support you. Plus, you've basically built your own family, you have the girls, Mateo, Kade and Elsa...Me and my family." Joe says hesitating on that last part. 

"I don't even know how your family views me right now so I wouldn't count them in there." Val shakes her head. 

" They haven't said anything to me about it so...well my mom obviously asked about what was going on cause she knows we're together but she didn't comment on anything else. My dad is never one to get into my personal relationships so..." Joe shakes his head. 

"Still doesn't mean anything." Val mutters. 

"Why don't I draw you a nice bath? I'll go pick up some food in the meantime while you soak." Joe says patting her knee. 

"You don't have to do that." Val shakes her head. 

"You need it, c'mon." Joe slowly pulls Val off the couch and they make their way upstairs letting the letter on the couch. 

"You still have clothes in your drawer, I haven't touched them." Joe says softly as they enter his room. 

"Thanks." Val sniffles heading over to where she always kept her clothes.

Joe headed to the bathroom and filled up the tub for her while she chose some clothes. Her mind was having a million different thoughts about what's happened. Though she was heartbroken over the news of her dad she was also incredibly angry at how it was handled. She couldn't stand the way her family has treated her since she came out in college. Val makes her way to the bathroom where Joe was making sure the water was a perfect temperature and the tub was getting filled up. 

"You can get in while it fills it takes a bit, did you need anything else? I haven't restocked on your wine but I can get you something else..." Joe asks as Val set her clothes down on the counter. 

"I think this moment calls for one of your vodka tonics." Val smiles. 

"Woah...I haven't heard those words since you opened up Pixies." Joe says making her chuckle. 

"I know it's a dangerous thing to say but I really need it." Val sighs. 

"You're wish is my command." Joe smiles leaving the bathroom. Val undresses and realizes she still has the markings from Summer on her body. Shaking her head and setting that aside she steps into the warm bath that smelled like lavender. Val feels herself relax into the semi filled tub and soon enough Joe comes back with her drink. 

"Here." Joe smiles handing her the drink. 

"Thanks." She smiles back taking a sip of the ridiculously strong drink. 

"Jeez, did you put any club soda in that?" Val shudders as the liquor runs through her body and sort of gives her a shock. 

"You knew what you were asking for. I put a lot of ice so just let it water down a bit." Joe says squatting down to her level and turning the water off for her. There wasn't many bubbles in the tub so Val saw Joe's eyes lingering on her body thought the soapy water. 

"What did you want to eat?" Joe asks clearing his throat. 

"It's Sunday evening so everything closes pretty early...whatever is open is fine. No healthy stuff though, I need good savory comfort food."  

"I'll be back, call me if anything. Make yourself at home." Joe says giving Val a gentle kiss on the head before leaving. It felt nice for Val to have Joe there for her. This was one of the things she couldn't complain about when it came to him. He was always there for Val when she needed him the most with no questions asked. Relaxing in the hot bath and downing the drink she eventually gets out and takes a quick shower being one of those people that can't just take a bath first. 

After her shower, drying off and draining the tub, she gets dressed and heads downstairs taking the glass that was now empty. As she washed her cup, Joe comes in with the bags of food.

 "So I got us sushi, and I stopped to get us ice cream. Hope that's okay!" Joe says smiling at Val. 

"That sounds really great. Thank you." Val smiles back. 

"We can put on a movie or whatever you want." Joe says setting the bags down to put the ice cream in the freezer.

"Sure." Val nods. She grabs water for them both from the fridge and make their way to the living room. 

"So, what do you want to watch?" Joe asks after they settle on the couch with the food. 

"Um, something funny I guess." she shrugs taking a bite of the spicy shrimp tempura roll. Joe turns on Superbad.

"I saw that you went the pride parade, how was that?" Joe asks failing miserably to use his chopsticks like usual making val laugh. 

"It was fun. Everyone had a goodtime." Val nods. 

"I saw that Summer went...you guys were posting on instagram" Joe says. Val knew she was going hear something about about her come from Joe eventually. 

"She was." Val says nods eyeing Joe. The last thing she wanted right now was to get in an argument with Joe about Summer again after what she just learned. Her emotions were way to high right now for that and she knew it.

"Is she...at least making you happy?" He asks softly and Val sighs. 

"Joe, I really don't need this right now." Val rolls her eyes.

"I'm not mad or trying to start anything. I just want to know she's at least treating you right given your history with her and having your own complaints with me" Joe says, he seemed genuine. 

"We only messed around once after that fight we had, we're not dating though and she's been fine to me. No drama. There, happy?" Val answers truthfully. 

"Very." Joe smirks which annoyed Val. 

"How about you? Any girls you've brought back here and shown them what a night with America's QB heartthrob is like?" Val asks trying to annoy him.

"Nope. Those nights are reserved for you." Joe smirks. 

"and Sofia the baddie ig model." Val nods popping another piece of sushi into her mouth pretending she didn't see Joe's annoyed face when she said that. 

"Okay...maybe I see how asking about Summer and throwing her in your face could be annoying." Joe says making Val snort. 

"But, since we're on the topic of girls and I still have my list of questions of you..." Joe trails off, Val sighing preparing for what's about to come out of his mouth next.

"Is it true that you guys can last for hours during sex? How is that even possible? How come you don't last with me that long?" Joe asks making Val almost choke on her food. 

"We technically can...but it's courtesy of the strap and we take breaks and then go back and forth through the night until we can't anymore and...I have no problem lasting that long but you on the other hand..." Val sips her drink and Joe looks in complete shock. 

"If that's the case...why the hell are you dating men? Let alone me." Joe mutters that last part. 

"Because that's how bisexuality works, I like all genders...and what do you mean let alone you? You're the only guy I've been with that actually gives a fuck about getting me off every time we have sex." Val snorts. 

"Do you have one?" Joe asks as he eats. 

"A what?" She asks confused. 

"A...strap or whatever it is you guys call it." Joe clears his throat which made Val laugh at his awkwardness. 

"I think... I have my harness somewhere at my condo, as for the toy itself...I have to get a new one." Val nods. 

"I saw that they had strapless ones." Joe nods and Val does a double take towards him hearing that. 

"Have you...been researching lesbian stuff!?" Val says rather loudly and clearly embarrassing Joe seeing his face turn a light shade of pink. 

"And by researching I know it's just porn." Val teases him. 

"No. I've actually been on educational websites for your information. I was wondering about the stereotypes. " Joe defends himself. Val thought it was actually very cute that Joe was educating himself about stuff. Most men would just ask when the threesome was happening and call it day.  

"Can I ask if you have a preference? Like do you prefer having sex with women or more with men?" Joe asks. 

"Overall, I say that I wouldn't. But there's certain things that I appreciate about both that's different." Val admits. 

"Like what?" 

"Well with girls I like the softness of it, the foreplay is usually on another level and the after care is really nice too. Plus there's a different sense of comfortability with women knowing they have the same parts as I do and know how are bodies are naturally. Also it's a plus that they're more on top of stuff like their status and there's no risk of pregnancy. " Val says and Joe nods. 

"And with men?" Joe asks seeming to be nervous to ask about it. 

"Well, my prior experiences with men were all college guys so I'm not gonna go there but with you specifically... I like how strong you are with me and assertive you are. Also getting to actually...feel you inside me is something I can only experience with women to a certain extent. Plus moans from any gender are hot but the list goes on for both, I just like what I like. There's really no competition here, we at least between you and any other woman because I've heard of plenty hook up stories from Gen with guys"  Val shrugs making Joe chuckle.

"Thank you for talking to me about this stuff...I know it's weird of me to ask this stuff." Joe says sheepishly. 

"Like I said before, if it's in good faith and you're being genuine...I don't have anything to hide. I appreciate you being respectful about it and not with stereotypical things like other guys would probably do." Val smiles.

 They both finish their meal and start paying attention to the movie that was already a good chunk through it. They eat their ice creams after finishing the dinner, Val still thinking of her dad and family, still figuring out how to navigate this situation from here. 

"You can take my room... I'll sleep in the guest room. Give you some space." Joe says as they clean up the mess of food in the living room and take it to the trash in the kitchen. 

"Oh you don't have to." Val shakes her head. 

"It's not up for discussion, I'll finish up here. You should go get some rest." Joe smiles and Val just nods. Even though it wasn't even 9PM yet, she did feel exhausted after the news she had received today. 

"Thanks, I'll uh see you in the morning...goodnight." Val says giving Joe a small smile which eh returns. 

"Goodnight." 

Val head upstairs grabbing her phone and goes into Joe's room. She uses the bathroom quickly and gets into the comfortable bed when there was a small knock on the door as it opened. 

"Thought you'd like some water." Joe says bringing her a water bottle and setting it on the nightstand. Val thanks him and he goes to leave when she grabs his hand and stops him in his tracks. 

"Stay...please." She says softly and Joe gives her a look of sadness and pity before he gently nods. 

"Let me just turn off the hall light." He says squeezing her hand. Val nods letting go of him. Coming back into the room, Joe this time around doesn't say anything about Val being on his side of the bed and just turns off the light and gets in bed next to her. Val cuddles up to him inhaling his familiar comforting scent that she loved so much and Joe places a few kisses on her head as he slowly and gently rubs her back as she lets sleep take over, feeling fully comforted and cared for by the person who has her heart.

A/N: That was heavy chapter! But BF Joe showed up 👀

#joe burrow imagine #joe burrow fanfiction #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow x oc #joe burrow series #joe burrow angst #joe burrow oneshot

[emperorbubblegum]

This is gonna be another long-ish spoiler post for F/SR, so don't click if you haven't learned Rider's True Name yet

Also slight spoilers for Fate/Extra CCC Foxtail and maybe Shimousa but those are old enough that I doubt people care

I really need to hear the opinion of someone who doesn't know much about Fate play Samurai Remnant. I feel like most of us where able to guess a lot of the new Servants based off connections they had to pre-established ones. Rider's probably one of two exceptions because her reveal is supposed to be this huge "what the fuck" moment - and it is, but I feel like that mostly hinges on the player knowing Fate's version of Minomoto-no-Raikou.

Ushi Gozen has been teased for years. Raikou's always been one of the many Servants that mentions how her Berserker Saint Graph isn't the only one we might aee of her (edit 1: I didn't play FGO when it first released so I didn't know this, but apparently Ushi actually shows up in the same event Raikou's introduced in). In Foxtail, we see her used as a prarallel to Suzuka, since both have connections to Oni. The most prominent tease is in Shimousa, where we actually see Ushi Gozen appear, but with the same design as Raikou for budget reasons I guess (edit 2: No we don't, that's just Raikou, but she has the Rider class so I misremembered her there as Ushi Gozen). And now she's actually here! She gets her own game! And she looks...

Girl what the fuck happened to you

I really like both of her designs to be honest. She's one of the few Servants to be wearing actual samurai armor, and she's the first to wear the helmet too I'm pretty sure. Then after Saber kicks the shit out of her, the armor falls apart and we see that she's in a much worse state than any of us expected. Her hair's cut short, her eyes are dead with noticeable bags, her skin's paler than it was before, and she barely looks like she's eaten anything. Those last two could also be said about Raikou (Raita for the love of god learn to draw human women properly) but on Rider they're noticeably worse. Also she seems crazier than her Berserker form, albeit a different kind of crazy.

When we fight her the second time in Chapter 5, she shows up with these awesome robot-like spider legs reminiscent of what Ushi-oni are usually described with. She doesn't look human because her humanity was seemingly beaten out of her. Raikou tends to suffer from what I like to call "the Altera Problem", where if used right she can be a really genuine and badass character, but 90% of the time she's used for jokes and to get people's dicks hard. However in things like Foxtail, or Shimousa (which is even more apparent in the manga), or Heian-Kyo we get to see her for how she really is, which is A) terrifying and B) a hero worthy of going down as one of humanity's best. Rider is only that first one. No jokes, no big tits, just pure unadulturated "you're gonna die" energy.

Rider's the first Servant we ever see in Samurai Remnant. She's the first one Iori encounters, leveling his house in the prologue and acting as the tutorial boss to show the player "hey you can't fucking take these guys on", and in the teaser trailer (which shows that scene) she's one of three Servants who are actually shown to us - the other two being SR's Saber and everyone's favorite bisexual dimension hopper, Musashi. I could write a whole other post about Shousetsu and Iori (maybe I will who knows) but Rider follows their dynamic. She's a strong parallel to Saber. Fuck she basically is Saber if they didn't have people like Ototachibana-Hime and Iori to keep them grounded.

All of the new Servants are super cool (with the exception of Caster that bitch ass nerd), but I think Rider's possibly the coolest. I mean, I've been wanting Samson since I got into Fate and you haven't seen me make any real posts about him because Minamoto-no-Raikou, one of my least favorite Servants, has got me in a vicegrip. I don't know if she's my favorite, but I'll definitely be saving for if she ever comes into FGO

#fate series #fate samurai remnant #fsr #fsr rider #fate samurai remnant spoilers #fsr spoilers

[overlydramaticinephile]

matilda.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!reader? (no physical descriptions)

Summary: Steve Harrington is an 80s male version of matilda. 

Word count: 1.9k (just something smol)

Warnings: almost pure angst. super tw to daddy issues and fights/arguments. mostly a steve x father fic with mentions of reader. ALSO idk what season or year this is set in. maybe season 2-3 ish. there's also cursing. OH i also named his dad bc writing mr. harrington all the time gave me anxiety so let's imagine his name is Blake. yes, i got inspiration after Blake Carrington......

English is NOT my first language.

A/N: hello cuties, so just in case we don't get Steve confronting his family in s5...wrote this. and also of course this is based on dawson's creek and harry's song. feeling versatile today. love you all and I HOPE YOU ENJOY <3 

Steve got home after a double tutoring session for his SAT's. To say he was exhausted would be an understatement, but at least it helped him not to think about Y/N, his girlfriend that actually made it out of Hawkins after high school. Don't get me wrong, he was so proud of her for pursuing her dreams, but that didn't mean he didn't miss her to death and wish she was with him every night.

After entering the kitchen to make himself a sandwich because, of course, there wasn't food already made. It was his everyday routine, but when he turned around, he noticed his dad. Weird. He thought. He's almost never home, and when he is, it's like he avoids being in the same room as Steve. Yet here he was, passed out on the family couch next to a bottle of whisky. I guess it was a long day for him too.

Steve couldn't help but stare at him and feel empty. After a few moments of contemplating his next move, he decided to sit on the couch in front of him. He knew his father wouldn't wake up, yet he still sat down just for the nostalgia and pain of it all.

"So I guess this is as good a time as any to have that father-son talk." Steve looked at him and saw how he had this subtle snore. Great.

Steve made this lower voice impersonating his dad. "So, how are you doing at summer school, Steve?"

"Well, actually, dad, I'm doing all right. You know, I'm really turning things around. It turns out I'm pretty smart. Maybe I'm college-bound after all."

"Good man, Steve, I always knew you'd turn out to be something. How are the ladies treating you?"

"Uh, I met this woman." Steve answered himself and couldn't help but blush just at the thought of her.

"Is she cute?"

"Cute? man, uh, Y/N's beautiful. She's smart, she's funny. I tell you, this girl is really something special. And...whatever the reason, she seems to think I'm pretty special too." 

He couldn't stop smiling by now. A warm feeling was taking over his body, one he was familiar with since he started dating Y/N. But that smile, that nice warm feeling, suddenly disappeared, making Steve frown and almost contain his tears. This is not what he was intending to do by having a fake conversation with his father. But he stayed with it.

"So why can't you see that? Hmm? Why can't you see me, man? When did you give up on me? when I was five? Hmm, ten? twelve? I'm eighteen years old, dad.

Steve was sobbing by now. He couldn't breathe properly either. He was embarrased to be perfectly honest but all those emotions he had bottled up for years were coming out. He couldn't help it even if he tried. And he did try.

"And I'm here, and I'm not perfect, but I try so hard for you. I just—it's your job. It's your job to love me. Because you're my father, no matter who I am or what I become. I can't do this by myself."

Steve didn't realize until now how much he actually needed his parents. Yeah, the party was great, as were his best friend and girlfriend, but the validation and support of his parents is something he always hopes he will get one day.

But it didn't seem like that would happen any time soon. 

Later that week...

After another natural disaster in Hawkins, Steve wasn't surprised if it ended up being connected to the Upside Down or the lab, for that matter. But of course, his father didn't know that. So, after a long day at the office doing whatever it is that stock marketers do, Mr. Harrington met with Steve.

Steve wasn't really paying attention to what was happening; it wasn't anything new to him. He was consumed by the thought of his girlfriend once again. Fuck, he missed her. He missed her a lot. Sure, they would call each other every day, but it didn't make it any less hard on him. He wonders if Y/N felt the same way about their separation. Or was he too codependent?

Steve's dad shook him out of his thoughts when he started talking again.

"The sheriff was lying to me. He's in it up to his neck and he knows it."

Of course Steve knew Hopper. He's done everything in his power to protect the kids, so this type of incident wasn't him. It couldn't be.

"Come on, you don't even know if this has anything to do with him." Steve was trying to lift the mood and make his father not put the blame on Hopper.

"A random arson incident in the middle of Hawkins? Let's consider the likelihood of that, Steve." Blake scoffed, looking at Steve like he was delusional or just plain stupid.

How wrong he was.

"If God hadn't blessed you with my good looks, I wouldn't know whose son you were. Why don't you drive yourself home before you make another embarrassing comment.” 

Steve just stared at the man. Wondering how on earth were they related. 

"I think I'll walk."

Blake contained a laugh. Again, making Steve look bad in front of all his coworkers.

"As if I care."

Just as Steve was turning around to leave, he decided to add one more comment.

"You know, we assumed you did, Pop." he said smiling with his sarcastic and mocking voice. It was basically a fuck you, dad.

Blake was surprised at his comeback—was he trying to embarrass him? Nope. He wouldn't tolerate it.

"You'll have to excuse my son, boys. His girlfriend moves away and suddenly it's his time of the month." he said, forcing a laugh to make it seem like it was no big deal.

"Hey, screw you, okay?" Steve was getting annoyed by now. He wouldn't let himself be talked down like that anymore.

Blake tried to put Steve aside to talk to him in a more private environment, in which he most definitely would be scolding Steve for his attitude towards him.

But when he tried to grab his arm,

"Get your hands off me, alright? You don't touch me again, ever!" Steve was now shouting. The mere idea of his father having anything to do with him disgusted him more in that moment than any other day.

Mr. Harrington made that fake laugh again, trying to keep an appeareance in front of everyone else in the scene.

"Finally, my boy gets a pair. All it took was getting his heart broken by some little girl with a few screws loose."

Steve lost it. In his eighteen years, he had never punched his dad, not until today that is. He didn't know anything about you. He didn't know that you are the most amazing person to ever grace his existence.

"Y/N did more for my life in six months than you did in eighteen years, you rotten son of a bitch. So if you want to make fun of me, you want to burst out on me? That's fine. But if you make even the slightest disparaging remark about the woman I love, I swear to God, you'll be calling this town from a hospital bed, you understand?"

Blake was speechless. He didn't even move from the position where Steve had punched him just a minute ago.

With that, Steve was ready to leave. He couldn't look at his dad anymore. But first, now that he seemed to have his full attention after all these years, he had one more thing to say. To him, to everyone for that matter. Screw the reputation.

"And one more thing, even if Hopper was involved in all of this, he's still ten times the father you ever were."

The next day...

Steve was at the park waiting for the kids to call him through the walkie-talkie and ask him to pick them up from their D&D session. Just another regular day for him: picking up the kids, waiting for it to be night, and calling Y/N's dorm. He's sure her roommate is sick of all the calling, but he couldn't care less. He needed to hear her sweet voice. Yeah, he was codependent alright.

And just like yesterday, someone interrupted his thoughts. His dad. Talk about a surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

Mr. Harrington sat next to Steve on the park bench, leaving enough space for another person to fit between the two of them.

"For starters, you punched me."

Of course. Steve thought that's what he'd say.

"If you came looking for an apology, you're barking up the wrong tree."

"No, I don't need one. I deserved it. Good for you for doing it." What had gotten into Blake Harrington?

When Steve didn't respond, he decided to keep making conversation, something he clearly wasn't used to.

"You got another phone call today from Y/N. We talked for a long time. She's uh, kind of chatty, that one."

Steve smiled to himself. "Yeah, she is."

"She sounded sweet as hell, Steve. So, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I really don't know anything about her."

Steve finally got the courage to look him in the eyes. "Apology accepted." 

Steve got up from the bench after that. He wanted to see what his father's next step would be. Would he follow him? Or leave now that he has a clean concience? 

"I'm not done."

To Steve's surprise, Blake got up as well.

"As little as I know about her, I know even less about you, my own son."

They stay put for a moment, waiting for someone to continue. Mr. Harrington guessed that would be him again.

"I realized that as Y/N was trying to fill me in on what you two had been through, I didn't know about any of that. She said you were her hero. It was nice to hear."

That brought tears to Steve's eyes but he wouldn't let them fall. His lips stayed pressed together hoping the force would also help stop the tears. Boys don't cry, he reasoned, or at least not in front of Blake Harrington. 

When Blake still got no verbal response from his son, he thought it was fitting. How many times has he done the same to Steve?

"Anyway, I called the school and I explained things to them. They're going to let you make up the finals next week when you feel up to it."

"Thank you." Steve was finally able to get the words out. You could see the pain in his eyes, yet he refused to be open about it.

"It's the least I could do." Even though Blake's voice didn't seem affected by all of this, you could see pain in his eyes too. From what? We don't exactly know. Yet. 

"I'm sorry I haven't been the kind of father that you felt you could share your story with."

Fuck it. Steve started shredding tears; it wasn't a full crying look, but it was in the making. It was bound to happen, that's for sure.

"Uh, there's just one other thing here. Y/N wanted me to give you something."

You could tell Mr. Harrington was nervous—a little uncomfortable even. Meanwhile Steve had this confused expression. That's when his father started getting closer to hug him, patting his back a few times before pulling away. It was a quick hug. An awkward one too.

After that awkward embrace, they looked into each others eyes and saw the hurt they both shared, that's when they went for another hug. A hug that was expected for eighteen years. Steve finally broke down thinking this could possibly still be a dream, either way, he was going to take the deal.

THE END.

feedback and comments are greatly appreciated <3

should I start a steve tag list? i'm conflicted..

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #joe keery #joe keery x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve stranger things #stranger things #stranger things x reader #fanfic #joe keery imagine