#it just straight up Does Not Make Sense It Does Not Track. like okay????? WHAT. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seeingivy · 4 months

Text

fine line

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content warning: mentions of SA, addiction, bad workplace environments, shitty adults - protect your peace my babies

an: one I saved sparks for the next chapter so I don't like give someone a heart attack. and brace yourself pookies. this ended up at 16k. also, lmk if the format is confusing. but any memory that's embedded between dialogue is basically being shown in the video - it just makes more sense for me to write it as a visual

songs mentioned: ever since new york by harry styles, clean by taylor swift, all of the girls you loved before by taylor swift, and fine line by harry styles

previous part linked here

Tell me something, tell me something You don't know nothing, just pretend you do I need something, so tell me something new Choose your words 'cause there's no antidote For this curse Oh, what's it waiting for? Must this hurt you just before you go?

Eren lets the video play for a whole minute before he abruptly reaches for the remote from your hand and stops the film from playing. The song is burning in his ears - the clip of him blowing out the candles at his tenth birthday party searing his eyes - and the increasing, immense pressure that’s been building, ever since you came back to set, comes to a head in that second.

So much so, that he has to stop the video. Like fully, take the remote from your hands and pause the video. And when he realizes what he’s done, looking over to his side and finding your wide eyes staring at him, and he swallows the lump of shame that’s in his throat and makes his best attempts to back track.

He’s already messing this up. Royally.

“Right. I’m sorry, Y/N. Here.” he murmurs, placing the remote back in the space between the two of you, as he nervously interlocks his own fingers within each other.

Eren’s mind is in a hundred places right now. Granted, he’s always been one to be stuck where he shouldn’t be, but the regret is scorching deep through him now.

Maybe he should just tell you straight out. Or take you to Seattle now so that you could all talk about it in person. Or he could have asked Connie to stay, just so that he had some type of moral support instead of your big doe eyes waiting for answers, but-

“Are you okay, Eren?” you ask.

Eren looks over, mustering his best peachy smile, as he shakes his head.

“No. I’m fine! I just…had a muscle spasm…. You can play it, it’s just-”

You squint your eyes in response to his shitty defense, which Eren was expecting, because you were always acutely aware of how Eren was feeling. He was almost convinced that you could read his mind at times, that maybe some part of how he grew up left that part of him underdeveloped, that made him so soulless and unaware when it came to other people.

Or that really, some part of you still understood him in the way you always seemed to be able to. In a way that no one else really had. Because few could bear close to you - Lana and Connie, even Sukuna to some extent - but there was just something about you specifically that saw him exactly how he was.

That you always knew his intentions, that he almost never had to say them to you. He never had to explain that big mess that was going on in his head because you were always filling the gap and settling it down before he could even get it out. Like there was some secret language being spoken between the two of you every time you made eye contact.

He’d figure that this part of the two of you - he had all but demolished it the second he opened his mouth back in Seattle. But it remains whole and intact and is extremely bad for that flaring hopeful feeling that he gets when he’s around you again.

That the two of you could return back to what you were before, in some shape or form.

Eren sighs.

“I’m sorry. I just…got overwhelmed for a second. You can play the video. I-I promise I won’t pause it this time.”

Your eyes soften - and Eren’s heart twinges - as he musters a smile for you.

“Are you okay to be watching this with me? I can always watch it alone, Eren.”

“Yeah, I-”

“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable…granted, I’m not sure exactly what it is that I’m watching, but if this…makes you anxious than I don’t want to force you to stomach it just for me.”

Eren’s heart twinges. That you’re still the same as he left you, so loving that it’s flowing out of you.

“It’s not just for you. Not that I’d be opposed to doing it but-”

Eren swallows hard.

“I should be here, Y/N.” he murmurs.

“Okay. Well-”

“And you’re watching a movie. A documentary feels like…the wrong word for it? But I guess that’s what it is?” Eren murmurs.

“A documentary?”

Eren swallows hard.

“Do you remember that interview you did? When you became a triple threat?” Eren asks.

You nod.

“This is like if I did the interview. Like songs, album, the whole thing. And if other people were involved. And-”

“Album? You made an album, Eren?” you ask, suddenly excited at the prospect of it.

Eren was never one to push too hard into music, since he felt that his talents clearly resided in acting. The few times that he had written something was because certain things, mainly you, had left him so inspired and your little rambligns and notes had rubbed off on him.

And when he missed you terribly, it seemed that the only thing that seemed to remedy it in some sense was writing songs about it. Granted, Lana almost kicked him out of her house for the sad piano he always seemed to be playing, which she claims wasn’t a good influence, but it made a good backtrack for the movie.

“Yeah, well. You’re quite the inspiration.” Eren respond.

You roll your eyes, lightly reaching over to shove his shoulder. Except he grabs your hand right before you can, his eyes fixed on his hand all but engulfing yours.

“I’m being serious. You-you’re the only reason that I wanted to do this. That I was able to.” Eren whispers.

You tilt your head to the side.

“You’ve always been like this. So…adamant on the side of talking about things. About not holding it in. I remember when you did the whole “The Man” thing with Historia you literally had me scared shitless. That people were going to put your head on a stick and start coming for you.”

“I remember. But they didn’t and-”

“And then you did the same thing with Lana. About Ricky - and you don’t even know the half of it when it comes to that guy. You’ve proven it to me time and time again. That maybe…talking things out is the best way to do it. And granted, I’ve taken so long to get to that point but I-”

“It’s okay. I just-”

“It’s not okay. I want you to know that I don’t think what I did was right in any way. I literally made the wrong decision at every turn, and hurt you because of it, and I’m so sorry that I did because you have to know that you mean-”

Eren freezes, as you wrestle your hand out of his, and place both of your hands firmly on his shoulders.

“Eren. Just…stop panic explaining. Let me listen first.” you murmur.

“I know. Sorry, you’re right, I just-”

“Don’t apologize. I’m sure this is nerve wracking in ways that I can’t understand.” you respond.

“You’ve always understood me.” Eren murmurs, immediately regretting it the second it leaves his mouth.

Eren watches as you smile at him, soft and all the way up to your eyes, as you let go and reach for the remote. You give him a nod as you unpause the video again to a clip of Eren.

At his tenth birthday, blowing out the candles, while he sings in the background.

Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know

The video starts the last place you expect it. With Zeke sitting in front of the camera, hand knotted together in the same way you’ve seen Eren’s a hundred times, as he retells the story of the day his grandmother passed away when Eren was eleven and Zeke was seventeen.

After forty-five minutes, Eren has definitively decided that he hates hospital. The anti-septic smell seems to bite at his nose, the receptionist keeps eyeing them awkwardly over the top of her desk trying to pinpoint where it is that she knows him from, and his parents and Zeke are uncharacteristically silent.

Eren reaches for Zeke’s wrist, which Zeke welcomes with a smile, as they both nervously eye their parents at their side. Eren’s not entirely sure why - since to his understanding, his grandmother is still alive for right now - but his mom has been crying for a better half of the past day, while his dad holds down the fort and does his best efforts to keep it together. Eren appreciates the small smiles that he spares for the two of them every now and then, as they all sit quietly in the waiting room.

Zeke taps Eren on the shoulder, gesturing for him to follow him for a walk, which Eren is all but happy to oblige in, as the two of them quietly make their way down the ward.

“Where are we going?”

“Cookies. They have them out for New Year’s Day, Eren.” Zeke responds, looking down to give him a smile.

Eren frowns, forgetting that the start of the new year was so close, as they walk into the little aisle. The room is decorated with hanging lights, left over from Christmas, as the two of them sit on the chairs and split the hard, crumbly cookies between the two of them.

“Is grandma going to die or something?” Eren asks, swinging his legs off the tops of the tall chair as he leans back.

“I don’t know, Eren. Maybe.” Zeke responds, swallowing hard.

“Oh.”

“There’s no need to be sad about it before it happens. But Dad told me earlier, it would probably be today or tomorrow so…you should be aware of that.” Zeke states.

Eren frowns. And Zeke recoils, at his rather blunt way of telling Eren the harsh news.

“He didn’t tell me that.” Eren states.

“Well, you’re younger, Eren.” Zeke responds.

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t deserve to know.”

Zeke brings his hand down on Eren’s hair, ruffling with it as he looks out the window.

“That’s why I told you, kid.”

Eren sighs.

“Thanks.”

Zeke shakes his head, as he gestures for Eren to join him at looking outside. The hospital workers are taking down the tree outside, as the two of them rest their windows against the sill and watch the snow fall down.

“Can we have hot chocolate when we go home?” Eren asks.

“You’re old enough to make your own hot chocolate, Eren.” Zeke deadpans.

“But you just make it so much better. Plus, don’t you want to be a good older brother?” Eren asks, giving him his best peachy smile.

“I am a good older brother.”

“You know what would make you even better?”

Zeke rolls his eyes.

“Hot chocolate?”

Eren fakes a gasp.

“It’s like you’re reading my mind! That’s a great idea, Zeke.” Eren responds.

Zeke shoves Eren as the two of them laugh, reaching for another one of the hardened cookies on the platter. And that’s when they’re met with the flash of the camera and three paparazzi standing right behind them. Zeke turns around, entirely confused, as they shove the microphone into his face.

“Zeke. Are do you have any comments on the rumors that you’re a drug dealer?”

“The rumors that I’m what?” Zeke asks.

Eren looks up at Zeke, entirely floored by the question, as the bright lights shine in his face a few more times. Zeke’s standing in front of him, basically obscuring his line of vision, as he watches the confusion spread on Zeke’s face and the way his jaw is tightly held against his skull.

“A drug dealer. Through the funds in your back accounts?”

“That’s not what I used them for. I used them for-”

Eren watches Zeke’s face pale, as he grabs Eren’s hand tightly by the wrist and runs back into the waiting room where their parents are sitting. Except when they reach that spot, the doctor they’d seen hours prior is standing there with them, uttering the last words that Zeke could possibly want to hear at this moment.

“We’re so sorry for your loss but-”

And he’s cut off abruptly, by the paparazzi, who continue to flash more pictures as the Eren takes in the words, his parents crying demeanor, and understands in full that his grandmother is gone. And looks up at Zeke, unable to recognize his older brother for the first time. So meek, so awkward unlike he’s ever seen him.

The video cuts off of the pictures of the four of them - of their pink faces and teary eyes in that waiting room - and back to Zeke, as he continues to explain.

“That was the first time that the rumor had come to the surface, reached me in full. I later found out that there had been multiple reports of it for three days prior, that people had been speculating for days and days, and chose to finally ask me what I had thought when I was in the most headline worthy position. A few feet away from my dead grandmother. And my beloved little brother.” Zeke adds.

You feel Eren shift next you as the video switches, this time to Sukuna. You smile, not having seen him or heard of him in so long, sparing a good thought from the writhing in your chest at the previous story. The mere presence of him, of his voice, makes your chest rumble.

“My name is Ryomen Sukuna. And I met Scott Clarkson for the first time when I was fifteen.”

Sukuna tries his best to not be jealous of his brother. He’s always hated that sick, rotting feeling in his stomach, and he despises that it comes up so unexpectedly, something so negative towards someone who is so unwholly undeserving of it.

Sukuna always thought it was quite ironic that the two of them were siblings. They were such polar opposites - Yuuji being the picture-perfect, kind, intelligent person that he was. Being those things, so good, it just came so naturally to him that he made it look effortless.

Meanwhile, Sukuna wasn’t quite sure why he acted the way he did sometimes. Sukuna knew that he wasn’t a malicious or evil person, that deep down his intentions were always well meaning, but there was a small part of him that had always struggled with that part. He knew that he wasn’t a visicous dog, but he wasn’t sure why he bit.

It was just so hard for Sukuna. Being kind. Effortlessly kind, compassionate, and warm. He’d always say too much, be too loud, or too rude or impolite that it made it made him feel like some part of him was defective. That unbeknownst to other people, who just assumed that Sukuna was just like this, that he was hateful at heart, there was always a withstanding weight of guilt that he held with him wherever he went.

Until he saw an opening. At one of those god awful, stupid networking events that he was always forced to go to.

“Are you Ryomen Sukuna?”

He looks up to find an adult, mid-forties, looking down at him. He’s wearing a nice, pressed down suit as he joins Sukuna on the floor, where he’s been demolisihing the cookie he was given into a crumbled up, chocolate mess.

“Yes. Who are you?”

“My name is Scott Clarkson. I’m a producer for Stone Studios. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

Sukuna falls into silence, as he tries his best to awkwardly shuffle his mess to the side and be as professional as he could.

“You have a brother, correct?” Scott asks.

Sukuna sighs, knowing all too well what’s coming next.

“Yes, that’s right. He’s over there, standing with the tall, black-haired kid. Kinda sea urchin-y if you ask me.” Sukuna responds, pointing over to the two of them standing by the lemonade.

Scott shrugs, crossing his hands together in his lap.

“Tell me about his work ethic.” Scott asks.

“Well, he’s great. He’s basically the best person to be around - I mean he’s intelligent, smart, and talented. There’s a reason that he’s in almost every movie that you see. And on top of that, he’s extremely patient and kind too. You’d be lucky to work with him, if that’s what you’re considering.”

Scott looks over at him, eyes narrowed.

“That’s your mistake, kid.” Scott states, the look in his eyes cold.

“What do you mean?”

“You should be marketing yourself. Not your brother.” Scott asks.

Sukuna turns his head to the side, confused.

“What? But you asked?”

“That’s the thing. Even if someone asks about him, you should always divert the attention. To yourself. Granted, this is the reason that he’s the one who just starred in a movie while you’re waiting during the Jujutsu Kaisen hiatus.”

Sukuna frowns, an acidic feeling crawling down the length of his throat.

“Well-”

“I’m just saying, kid. You should learn to advocate for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with pushing a few people around, because that’s kind of what this industry requires. You’ve got guts and talent, more than you’re wish washy brother I’m sure of it. I mean, the whole good boy bad boy thing has worked well for you so far, but if you want any chops at a real career, with people like I’ve worked with, you’ll have to solidify on these types of things.” Scott states.

Sukuna looks straight across at the movie poster splayed on the wall. With “Institute Award Winning” and “Scott Clarkson” inscribed in it at the bottom.

“Granted, you’re just a kid. You need someone to give you this kind of advice, an adult who knows their way around the industry. If you ever need my help, you know who to call. I could give you any type of role. Even one as the lead, as the hero, if you ever wanted it.” Scott states, sliding a silver business card into his hands and shuffling off the floor to walk away.

The video cuts back to Sukuna, cracking his fingers as he talks - something you know well is a nervous tick of his.

“The conversation seems quite ironic in hindsight. Scott Clarkson was the first adult in my life, one of many, that didn’t have my best interests at mind. And is most surely the last person you should take advice from.” Sukuna states.

The video switches to Lana - and your heart clenches again, maybe even more than it did for Sukuna - at her long, brown hair and warm, pink cheeks smiling into the camera. You notice that she has a tattoo inscribed on her forearm now, a tiny little teddy bear just above the crease of her elbow, where you and Eren have your fish tattoos.

“I’ve dreamt about being in love since I was a little kid. There was a part of me, that yearned so hard, wanted it so bad, that I would do anything for it. Even convince myself it was real.”

Lana was convinced, for a fact, that because she had seen the worst of the worst, that she could only be subjected to the best of the best.

That she had been so acutely aware, known from such a young age, all the signs of a terrible marriage, a loveless relationship. That you should always thank each other for the small actions, make time to see each other at least once a day, and that a true, earnest relationship takes honest work. Real effort.

And she wasn’t exactly religious per say. But after the night had settled down, the screaming behind her door ceasing in full, she’d lift her head to the sky and whisper it into the air. Because if she put it out there, every night, and wanted it really badly, that it would happen. That manifestation or some higher power or some law of attraction - that saw that she had been through the bad so she deserved the good - would hear her out.

And when she was nineteen years old staring at the two little lines on the pregnancy stick, she realized that no such thing existed. That manifestation was made up, that the higher powers didn’t exist or they hated her, or that maybe she had done something really horrible, so malicious, that she had to be tortured in this life for what she had done in the previous.

Because, of course, she’s pregnant with the last person she’d ever want her kid to have as a father.

There’s an incessant pounding on the door, as she wipes the tears off of her face, and hides the stick in the bowl of the toilet.

“What the fuck is taking you so long, Lana?”

“Nothing, Ricky. I think I might have a stomach bug or something.” she responds, swinging the door open to his unamused face.

He looks up at her, almost sneering, before glancing at her up and down. He returns to aimlessly scrolling on his phone, before talking again.

“Well, you’re still well enough to go out tonight, right? Because I don’t want to go to the bar alone.”

Lana swallows hard, debating her options.

“Um, well-”

“Because I could easily take someone else.” Ricky states.

“No! I’ll come, it’s just that-”

“Perfect! You’re the best.” Ricky states, pressing a kiss to her cheek before padding out of the room.

The video switches again, this time to Connie, slightly blurry through the tears in your eyes. You only realize you were crying because Eren’s hands are quick to swipe the tears away and hold a tissue out for you at your side.. You’re not sure what caused it exactly - the thought of Ricky or of Lana so scared alone in that bathroom by herself - but Eren keeps his hand on your shoulder, grounding you into the moment to focus on what Connie was saying.

“When I was a kid, my mom used to kind of parrot the same stories about me as a kid to every person that she knew. I always used to make fun of her for it, claim that she harped on those four or five stories so hard because she couldn’t remember anything else substantial from my childhood, which was why she felt the need to always tell those embarrassing stories about me.”

Connie breaks a smile, it reaching all the way to the crinkles in his eyes, as he continues.

“But there’s one story that she told, that always used to make me a little bit happy. My heart a little warm, if you will. My mom always proudly recounted, with her hand placed over her heart, that I was the happiest baby. That my doctor had mentioned to her that it was very rare for him to see babies who smiled, so quick in their first day of life, but I had done it when he walked into the room. And since then, my mom has always lovingly called me her smiley boy.” Connie states.

Connie drops his smile, before swallowing hard.

“Which is how I know that I wholeheartedly broke her heart when she came to see me in rehab.”

At the one month mark of being there, Connie was slowly but surely acclimating to the life in the rehab ward. The set routine of the place, the small activities that they did in groups, were quickly starting to grow on Connie and the physical effects of his body fighting against him lessening more every day.

Today was a big achievement for him. He had finally made it through his first night of soundless sleep. And he was looking forward to today, which was Friday, meaning that Eren and possibly Lana would be visiting him. And they’d be so excited, so happy that it was working for him, that he wanted to tell him the second that he got there.

So when the clock hit two o’clock, he excitedly walked in the visiting room to find Eren sitting there, with his steaming bowl of ramen that Eren had promised he would bring him next time. Connie finally understood why you fell in love with him all of those years ago. He’d marry Eren too if it meant he would cook for him all the time.

“Hey Connie.” Eren states, sliding the bowl over to him.

“Eren Bear-en. Where’s Lana?” he asks.

“Right. She’s here. In the waiting room.” Eren states.

“What the hell is she doing out there? Laying eggs?” Connie asks, splitting the chopsticks in his hand as he opens up the bowl.

“Yes, actually. The kitchen came by and told her they were short.”

“Don’t even joke about that because those bitches are crazy. I asked for an extra Jello and from the looks they gave me you’d think I was asking to be their…sperm donor or something.”

Eren snickers, before getting an intense look from the guards on the wall for disrupting the silence, and looking back at Connie.

“No. No, she’s actually keeping your mom some company.”

Connie pales.

“My mom is here?” he states, his voice grating in his throat.

“Yeah, Connie. She doesn’t want to push and-and- she’s more than willing to go home if you’re not ready to see her yet, man. She just really insisted and she means so well that we just brought her along.” Eren states.

“Have you been talking to her?” Connie asks.

“Oh, yeah. She called us almost two days after you got here. We let her know what was happening and she comes by the house a lot. She asks about you the second we get back.” Eren responds.

“Really?” Connie asks, warm tears filling his eyes. Of agonizing, burning regret.

“Really. She’s been waiting till you seemed better, that you were ready to see her. And you don’t have to worry that she’s judging you or upset with you, man. She feels the same as Lana and I do, you- she shouldn’t be a reason for your stress. Or guilt.” Eren adds, emphasizing it as hard as he can so as to convince Connie to at least let her through.

Connie pauses, the thoughts swimming to his mind. The overwhelming regret, that his mom has suffered all the way to meet him here, that she was ready to be at his side, the same way Eren and Lana had. He’s almost grateful that she hadn’t seen him at the worst of it - that he hadn’t shouted choice words at her like he had at Eren and Lana and you - but the embarrassment of having to recount all of that to her was daunting.

But the thought of seeing her again, hearing that she was out there waiting with that heathen Lana, warmed that deep seated love for her in his stomach. That was yearning to see her, to tell her what had happened to him too.

The latter feeling beat out the former one. Which is why he let Eren bring her in with Lana, as she took a cautious seat at his side and Lana slid into the one next to Eren.

“Hi Connie Bear!” Lana states, reaching over to squeeze his hands.

“Hi Lana Bear.” he respond, lifting his hand to do his little hand shake with Lana, which always earns him an eye roll from Eren.

“Bear?” Connie’s mom asks, tilting her head to the side.

“Ah. It’s just a little joke that we have. Eren Bear-en started it.” Connie states, giving him mom a smirk.

His mom smiles, looping her arm through Connie’s, as she lightly laughs into the quiet air.

“Funny. So what would I be?”

“Mama Bear. Obviously.” Connie states.

She pauses, pressing her hand to Connie’s shoulder.

“How are you, Connie? Really?”

Connie smiles, leaning forward on the table and nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

“I have some good news actually. For all of you.” Connie responds.

“What’s that?” Eren asks.

“I know that it doesn’t seem like a big deal and all and that people do it all the time but…today was the first night that I slept all the way through without waking up in the past month. In the past year actually.”

Lana and Eren’s eyes immediately light up, which has Connie smiling, as the two of them run over to the side of his table and wrap his arms around him. His mom’s looped into his side, the three of them crushing him in the warmest, softest hug known to man.

“Connie! We’re- fuck. I’m literally crying. I’m so happy for you, kid.” Lana states, reaching forward to pinch the softness on his cheek.

“Okay, you sap. It’s not all that.” Connie responds.

“No but it literally is, Connie. This is huge.” Eren responds, squeezing his shoulder hard.

Connie turns to his mom noticing that she’s been trying her best efforts to quiet her sobs. Connie places a hand on her shoulder, burning with regret, at her downtrodden face.

“Mom?”

“Oh, Connie. My sweet, smiley boy. I’m so happy for you.”

It’s enough to break his resolve, one that he’s been keeping together since he realized that he had all but gone through Jean and Mikasa’s engagement high. And cries straight into her arms, with Lana and Eren across from him, lightly tapping his feet under the table in support.

The video switches, this time to Eren, as you prepare yourself for whatever you’re about to hear next. Because if the previous four were gut punches, you know for a fact that whatever Eren is about to say is going to ruin you.

“Being in love is a privilege.”

You take a sharp inhale.

“There’s something so strange about it, when you think about it. That there can be two people, who share those feelings at the same time. That they overcame something, deeper than rejection or fear, because the feelings were so big, they were so great, that they just had to. And that the person, they really and truly reciprocated it.”

Eren smiles, so wide that his dimples are showing.

“It’s a privilege to be in love. But it’s an even bigger one to be in love, to be loved, by someone like Y/N L/N.”

Eren and Jean, with their ears all but pressed to the door, hear the three knocks and wrestle over each other to open the door. You’re standing there, sheepish and meek as you look down the hall, and Eren reaches for your bag on the floor. Jean gives the two of you a salute, which you laugh at, and which consequently has Eren smacking his hand over your mouth for, as the two of you quickly switch spots.

WIth Jean in your room and you in his. Eren quickly shuts the door, setting your stuff down, as you two give each other excited smiles.

“That was super sneaky, Eren. Like Bond level.”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“Right. The two feet in between our doors was so treacherous.”

You smack his shoulder.

“Okay, bitch. You know nothing of my perilous travels. The floorboard creaked. I could hear Levi rustling in his sheets, I swear to god.”

Eren drags your stuff into the room, as he places your bag on the bed.

“What do you have in here? Your entire closet? Why is this so heavy?”

“Well, I had to bring my night time skincare. And my morning skincare. And sometimes I get snacky at night…and my blanket obviously. And my shampoos. Those are non-negoitable.” you respond.

“Well we can’t have you getting split ends now!” Eren responds, sarcastically.

“Don’t even sass me right now because I could go bald without that shampoo.”

“And I have a blanket.”

You scoff.

“I don’t want your cooties, stinky.”

“I don’t have cooties. And mind you, you have to kiss me in a few weeks. My cooties are going to be all up in your face, Y/N.” Eren responds.

“That sounds gross, Eren. Like you’re purposely infecting me with your disease.”

“I’m not infecting you with anything! I don’t even have cooties, you idiot!”

You feign hurt, frowning at him, as you fight the urge to laugh and muster the most important performance of your life yet.

“Eren?” you whisper.

“What?” he asks, confused.

“Do you really think I’m an idiot?” you murmur.

You watch Eren’s eyes go wide, almost frazzled, as he reaches forward and cups the side of your cheek, the look in his eyes so painful that you immediately feel bad.

“Y/N. Of course, I don’t think you’re an idiot. You’re like…the smartest person I know. Really.”

“Eren-”

“I’m so sorry I said that. I was just kidding, but that was a really stupid joke to make. I haven’t and won’t ever think that about you. Or say it again. You’re so-”

“Eren.”

“And I swear, I’m not going to say anything like that ever again. I know how shitty it can be, especially coming from a guy, and you’re working so hard to be here, more than anyone else, even though your basically the best one and-”

“Eren, oh my gosh, you’re so sweet. I was just kidding, I didn’t mean to make you so upset.” you respond, frowning at him as he looks at you, shoulders relaxing under his touch.

His cheeks are dusted a warm pink, the color trickling down the length of his neck.

“Oh. Wait, really?”

“I was just trying to see what you would say. I wasn’t expecting that and now I feel really, really bad. I’m sorry, Eren.”

Eren sighs, laughing as he reaches forward to pinch your cheek.

“You’re evil, you know that?”

“I didn’t mean it!” you whine, covering your eyes in embarrassment.

“You put that stupid little cute frown on your face and make those sad eyes at me and just expect me to keep fighting with you?”

“Well, yeah! Jean and Connie would fight with me for the rest of their life if they could.”

Eren reaches forward, pinching your cheek once more.

“That’s your mistake.”

“What is?”

“Thinking that you and I are the same as you and Connie. Or you and Jean.”

You feel your cheeks burn, as you nod, reaching for your bag and heading straight into the bathroom to arrange everything on the counter. You start your nightly routine, braiding your hair and placing the little foam headband in your hair as you start to massage all the cleansers and serums into your skin.

Eren pads in after a few minutes, reaching for his toothbrush, as the two of you move around each other in silence. Eren can’t help but watch you in the mirror - with all your little bottles and sweet smelling lotions, so focused as you go about it - that he can’t help but think that he could watch you forever.

“Eren?”

Eren immediately breaks out of his almost trance, spitting into the sink.

“Yeah?”

“You should wear this while you brush your teeth. It’ll keep your hair out of the way.” you respond, handing him a little blue foam headband just like your pink one.

“Huh?”

“Well, your hairs getting kind of long. And Levi told me that he actually wants it even longer for next season a few months ago, so I ordered you one too when I got mine. I keep forgetting to give it to you.” you respond, placing it front of him.

Eren lifts it in his hands, utterly touched at the fact that you had thought of him.

“You- you got this for me?”

“Well, yeah. I kept getting my bangs wet whenever I washed my face. And you basically look like a shaggy dog with that hair so I knew for a fact that you’d need one too. I’m basically the best friend ever if you think about it.” you respond, giving him a peachy smiile.

“You are.”

The video cuts back to Eren, a soft smile on his face as he talks.

“People will take advantage of anything, in the name of business. It’s an easy way in once you find out how to manipulate someone, to make them do things that they would never do normally, to get the exact image that you want. The one that makes headlines, stirs up controversy, to get you trending.”

“You find out that things function very specifically when you work at Stone Studios. And that Scott Clarkson, and his associates, make money from every aspect of the production. He makes money from the movies that he produces and more importantly, from the tabloid company that he owns.” Sukuna starts.

Sukuna sighs, as the pictures flash on the screen.

“Certain things are…manufactured or at least the people doing them are coerced into doing things that are lucrative. Like doctoring drama around certain movies, so that by the time the movie comes out, the drama surrounding it will drive everyone to watch it. Around relationships - because rumors regarding ex-boyfriends and problems between friends create headlines that everyone will click.”

Sukuna’s furious. And when Hyla walks in the room - the three weeks he’s been holding onto his anger - come to a head.

“Who did you tell?” Sukuna asks.

She looks up at him, eyes wide in confusion, as she slouches straight into the bed and continues to scroll on her phone. He joins at her side, reaching for her phone and putting it to the side.

“I’m being serious. Who did you tell?” he asks.

She looks up at him, her expression bordering between bored and oblivious.

“Who did I tell about what?”

Sukuna sighs. Because deep down, that deep rot of feeling betrayed has been gnawing at his stomach for the past few hours. And he wants everything in him, every part of him to believe that the conversation that he had a few days ago - the first real one he’d had in a while - wasn’t just spread all over every magazine he walked past on the way home.

“The conversation we had. About…”

She rolls her eyes, sitting up as she crossed her legs.

“About what? We talk about a lot of things.” she murmurs.

“Yuuji…” he responds.

“Oh! About how you hate him?” she asks.

Sukuan sighs, frustrationg growing up at the premise. At the callousness in her statement. Because not only did she put up a front in the conversation they had - about how guilty Sukuna felt about harboring some negative feelings towards Yuuji since they were always in constant competition - but she was surely the one who must have whispered the story to someone who had given it to a tabloid.

“I don’t hate him, Hyla.”

“No, no I get it. You’re like jealous of him and stuff because he gets all these versatile roles and you basically keep getting the same asshole role. But that’s not your fault, it’s just how it goes.” she responds, shrugging.

He clenches his jaw.

“I get that. I just don’t get why you had to tell someone else.”

“Well, I just told my dad. And you know how he is. If there’s something that’s going to be good for the business, he’s always been the kind of guy to go for it and do what needs to be done.”

“What the hell is so lucrative about my relationship with my brother? We’re filming a fucking movie.”

She sighs, cracking her knucles before she turns to him.

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell you a secret, but only if you promise to stop being mad at me.”

“Well, I’m not just going to stop being mad at you. I’ve never told anyone that. Let alone my own brother, whose probably finding out about it from a fucking tabloid right now. I’ve never been one - nor am I ever going to be - someone who steps on their own family members to make it in this fucking business.” he states.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Family is everything to you and I get that.”

He sighs, sliding open his phone to the five unread messages from Yuuji on his screen. There a set of pictures of him in front of the headlines at the store and he’s quite literally laughing at the fact that someone could even come up with something so stupid about him.

Because despite it all, Yuuji is exactly what Sukuna says he is. He is the better brother - by tenfold - because he sees the rumors and doesn’t even believe them the second he reads them. Even through they’re true.

“See. He’s such a good guy, he’s not even mad! No harm done!” Hyla states, smiling to herself.

Sukuna leans back against the headboard, fully bothered, so much so that it makes his skin itch, by Yuuji’s texts as he halfheartedly murmurs.

“What were you going to say? Earlier?”

“Oh. Well don’t tell anyone. Especially not the girls okay, because they’d basically kill me. But you know WBS? The tabloid company?” she asks.

“Yeah…”

“My dad owns it. That was actually his original venture. He started it with these two music producers - Danny and Sareen - they work with that Y/N girl from Attack on Titan actually. And sometimes they just kind of….fabricate stuff for news. Whatever sells right?”

Sukuna swallows that bitter, acidic feeling in his throat. That his feelings about his brother, that he shared in confidence, were good enough for the headline.

Good enough to be sold out.

The camera switches back to Sukuna, sitting in the chair.

“I feel kind of stupid in hindsight. For actually liking her, I guess. For believing that any of them were real, earnest people. I’m embarrassed that I stayed for so long, on the premise that I was fighting for something real.” Sukuan states.

“What made you leave?” the producer asks.

“The last shred of self-preservationist instinct I had. I was put into a situation, multiple times, where I felt unsafe. And when it went too far, I decided that I had enough. And that I was going to go out with a bang if I had to. If they want a headline, I’ll damn well give them one.” Sukuna states, smirking.

“You felt unsafe?” the producer clarifies.

“Look. I don’t need to rehash the details out of what happened. I’m sure that you could even find videos of it if you wanted to. But Scott Clarkson, he’s very quick to forget the fact that he’s working with children. I may play adults in my films, but I was very much still a child.”

You pale, the implication entirely clear. You look over at Eren, whose eyes are fixed towards the floor, as you wipe the tears from your eyes, as the video switches back to Eren and Lana who are seated at the table.

“When Levi and Hange ventured out on their own and decided to produce their own show, they ruffled lots of feathers. That’s something I overheard on set quite often before Eren ever started on the show. They were mad, essentially, that they had circumvented the whole producing aspect of it, choosing to be in control of every aspect of the production. And honestly, that they were successful with it.”

“Levi and Hange basically set a standard, especially for other people who were at their class the SWHA cohort. Jujutsu Kaisen basically followed suit short after - with almost all of the people in our class being funneled into either of those two shows. Which was aggravating, because it basically means that people who own the companies, like Scott Clarkson, don’t get their upcoming crop of stars to handpick form.” Eren states.

“Unfortunately for us, that didn’t really quite stop them. It started out with a simple fact - that Scott Clarkson knew for a fact that Eren would refuse to work with him.” Lana states.

“The first time I met Scott Clarkson he had rubbed me the wrong way. Because he refused to acknowledge that Y/N was standing right at my side.” Eren responds.

Eren was painfully aware of the fact of how uncomfortable you were. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was - maybe the fact that you had never been here before or that you didn’t quite know anyone like he did from growing up with them - but he figured that it would be a better idea for the two of you to go outside.

But before he could, a man stops him, tapping him on the shoulder to talk to him. You both stop in your tracks, half turning around, to look at him. He’s extremely tall, looming over the two of you, and Eren can feel you shrink at his side. He looks at Eren, a self-assured smile pressed on his face as he introduces himself.

“Scott Clarkson. I’m a producer for Stone Studios.”

“I’m Eren Jaeger. This is-”

“I know who you are, Eren. I was invited to see one of the first cuts of the latest movie you just filmed and-”

Before he can even understand what’s happening, he has his hand on Eren’s shoulder and they’re walking down the length of the hall, the end of their conversation lost to you. Eren looks back and you give him a halfhearted smile as he tries to turn back, before getting stuck in a larger group of people.

“Do you have any projects lined up for your Attack on Titan hiatus?” Scott asks.

“Yeah. Sukuna and I are filming the next Conjuring movie. Though if you’re looking for someone, my friend Y/N-”

“No need. We’re here to talk about you.”

Eren rolls his eyes.

“I already have a roll. And she doesn’t. And you know how big she’s going to be - she can even sing!” Eren states.

Scott sighs.

“There’s a reason that I’m standing here talking to you. I’m well seasoned in these type of things - just like your parents. I promise you, with a breakout show like that, only one person can come out as the star. Don’t you want to make sure that it’s going to be you?”

“Levi and Hange made it out together. I don’t know why we couldn’t do the same.” Eren responds.

Luckily enough for him, his parents had arrived just at that moment and given him his much needed chance to run away.

“I wasn’t going to sell out that fast. Especially for someone who was so quick to bad mouth my best friend, who was basically the only person that I got to consistently talk to and be with at the time, I….”

“Eren’s very loyal. Let’s just leave it at that. And it’s precisely just because of that loyalty, especially to Hange and Levi who had thrown a wrench in every one of his profits, that they wanted Eren specifically. He has every makings of one of his stars. He has famous parents, an estranged brother, and a girl that can be thrown at the end of every headline.” Lana adds.

Eren sighs.

“The Attack on Titan hiatus was the perfect chance for them to get what they wanted. On one side, Danny and Sareen were building Y/N up. They were pushing her into making albums, way faster than she should have been by the way, adding more and more accolades to her name. And on the other side, they were dragging me into the mud. Purposely switching my movies at the last minute to make sure I was on the shitty one, making award show annoucers make crappy jokes about me so I’d feel like shit.” Eren responds.

The video switches to the last award show that you and Eren had technically attended together. The one where you announced that you were coming out with your second studio album and where you had won Actress in a Lead Role. Except, the video isn’t how you remembered it. Or that this time, you’re actually aware of what had been going on in Eren’s head.

“Here we have an international pop-star, Y/N L/N. Originally a small town girl from Canada, her soft spoken love songs, phenomenal acting, and insane dance act have left no heart untouched.” the announcer states.

Eren looks over at you in the video, his eyes so warm and his smile so wide, as he looks at you proudly.

“And you. What’s your name again? It’s sweet they let fans sit with stars now.” the headliner asks him, eliciting a large amount of laughter from the crowd as he walks on.

That’s when you see it. That Eren’s face immediately dropped and was washed over in shame. And that he got up and walked away.

And more importantly, that you hadn’t followed.

“I later found out that joke was very deliberate. That announcer was told to make that joke about me because they were almost positive that I would leave. And when Y/N won the award - and I was moping in one of the lounges about how much of a failure I was, how she was going to leave me for someone better - Scott Clarkson approached me. In the same way that he had approached Sukuna. Promising me that he could make me a star. That I could meet Y/N where she was and be next to her too.” Eren states.

“It was pretty easy to guess how the rest went. Y/N and Eren being in a relationship wasn’t exactly headline worthy, when they had been basically attached at the hip for years. But you know what was? The two of them breaking up.”

“I obviously can’t speak for Y/N. I don’t know what was going through her head at that point. But from what she made it seem like….Danny and Sareen had asked her to do it. I know that they had asked her to write songs like London Boy and most of the songs on her album for that precise reason, it….doesn’t seem far off.” Eren states.

“It seems stupid in hindsight. To take someone’s advice at the surface level like that and so blindly believe in them. But when you think of the examples that Eren and Y/N really had, people like Levi and Hange who wanted nothing but the best for them, who basically loved them like they were a second set of parents, it’s hard to believe that everyone around you doesn’t really have your best interest in mind. That and the fact that they were fucking nineteen.” Lana adds.

“And that’s when we get to the Girlfriend incident. And more importantly, the day that Lana and I became friends.” Eren states, looking over to smile at her.

Eren had locked the door, and pushed everyone out of the room the second they had stopped watching that stupid music video hours ago. And after the fact, he’s watched it three more times - you and Ricky dancing through the street and smiling at each other - while all he can do is drown in his despair.

That is until he hears a soft sniffling in the hallway behind him and a hushed voice talking on the phone in the doorway. He presses his ear the door, the voice loud, as he catches the ends of the conversation, recognizing that it was Lana.

“Can you just stay with him for a few more hours, please? I don’t think that I can leave.”

“Please. I want to come home really badly too, but they’re already so upset with me after what I said last night that I just-”

“Thank you so much. I really love you, you know that?”

The phone call ends abruptly and Eren, letting his curiosity get the best of them, opens the door to find Lana sitting flat against the wall, with her head in her hands. He can tell that she must have been crying for a better part of the last hour, her hair all unruly and tangled in a way that he had never really seen it before.

Eren shuffles into the spot next to her, against the wall, as he wipes his own red eyes.

“Are you okay?” Eren asks.

“Why? Trying to rub it in my face?” Lana asks, rather miserably.

“No. I just…heard you on the phone.” Eren asks.

Her eyes go wide, as she looks over at him rather frantically.

“What did you hear?” she asks.

“I mean, basically nothing.” Eren murmurs.

The two of them sit there awkwardly, unsure of what to say to the other. That’s until Lana turns to him, a determined look on her face as she talks.

“Are you trying to make me feel shitty because I did it to you?” Lana asks.

“No. I’m not you, Lana.” Eren deadpans.

“I didn’t mean-

“Didn’t mean what? To make me look like a dumbass on stage? Just tell me what the hell is wrong if you’re going to talk so loudly outside of my door.” Eren mutters, irritated.

“Okay. We’re going to play a game, alright? Let’s pretend we’re different people.” Lana states.

“What?”

“I want to talk about something and I’m sure you do too, but it’s weird to do it like this. So we’ll pretend. I’m going to be La-La and you’re going to be Po.” she states.

“Like the Telletubbies….?”

“Yeah. Does that work? You can’t say anything to anyone, because….well that would just be fucking rude.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, Po. The thing is, I feel really bad. I did this really shitty thing to this guy who seems really nice and all. Except, I was standing on stage and they kind of asked me to do it right then and there so I kind of just went with it.”

Oh. Eren gets it. This is her weird way of apologizing.

“Well, why did she do it in the first place?”

She scoffs.

“You’re so nosy, bitch.”

Eren laughs, which has her relaxing her shoulders, before she talks again.

“Eren. Please don’t tell anyone, okay? This is really serious.”

Eren breaks, the seriousness in her demeanour stoppign him.

“I promise. What is it?”

She sighs, holding out a picture to him on her phone. It’s a picture of her and a little boy, with short, curly brown hair.

“This is my son. His name is Theodore, but…I call him Teddy. Like…Teddy Bear? And I feel so shitty, Eren but…they kind of hold him against me sometimes when it comes to things like this. So when they ask me to do things, I just do them.” Lana states.

“They hold you against him?”

“I mean….I try really hard to protect his privacy, Eren. He’s just a kid. I mean, he’s barely even two years old right now. And I know your parents, I’m sure you know that growing up in the spotlight isn’t the best place to be.”

Eren frowns, looking down at the picture. He’s never really quite thought it before, but he thinks that Lana is really pretty. Or more appropriately, that Lana looks very pretty when she smiles. And that he’s never seen her smile like this before.

“I get that. So what do they do? Threaten to tell?” Eren asks.

“I mean, they usually find out where I’m keeping him. I tend to keep him moving from different houses, with security in all that, to make sure that he’s safe from that type of thing. And-”

“Does he stay with his dad?” Eren asks.

Lana sighs, resting her chin against her knees.

“Eren. Ricky isn’t good news. And your little girlfriend or friend or whatever…she’s in really risky territory right now.” she states.

“What do you mean?” Eren asks.

She almost flinches, withholding of what it is exactly that’s on the tip of her tongue.

“Eren. He’s just not a good guy. You should make sure that someone is with her, that she’s not ever alone with him. Just take my word for it. There’s a reason my son doesn’t get to see him, why I avoid him like the plague.” she states.

Eren can see the tears filling in her eyes - and makes a mental note to drop the topic and relay the information to Connie or Jean later.

“I’m not going to tell anyone, Lana.”

“I know. That’s why I feel even worse. I’m really sorry for what I did, Eren.”

“That’s okay. Let’s just make a deal.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ll help and you’ll help me. Pacts between Tellytubbies are really sacred.” Eren states, feigning seriousness.

“You’re stupid.”

“And you’re annoying.” he responds.

Lana laughs, teary eyed, as she reaches forward and shakes on it.

“I only became really aware of the problem after Lana had pointed it out to me. And became even more frustrated with them, with all of them, when I had realized what they had been saying to her. Making comments about her body to her, despite the fact that she had literally given birth, and incessantly teasing her about her son, who is basically my favorite person in the world, by the way. That they would purposely put alcohol in her drinks, when she couldn’t drink at the time.”

The clips cut, this time to Eren and Lana, in a different mix of videos of playing with Teddy. You recongize him straight on, as the kid that you had met with Eren before the two of you had talked on the beach, and feel your heart burn at the fact that you had met Lana’s son and not known it. That Lana and Eren had to fight to make sure that he was safe, that she was doing anything for him.

“Eren and I basically had an arrangement. We both had houses off of set in Seattle, that we should shuffle him between, along with my brother Landon. There was someone with Teddy at all times, and at that age, he wasn’t really old enough to question the fact. His mom was always there to put him to bed at night, and sometimes his best friend Eren was there to do it too, so it didn’t mean too much to him.”

Eren sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It all started going downhill the week that I got hurt. Because, of course, that’s when Connie arrived on set.”

Lana wasn’t really paying attention when it had happened. Her nose was stuck in her own script, headphones over her ears, as she practiced the next scene she was going to be in.

When she looked up, three minutes after the fact, that’s when she saw it. That Eren was tangled with the cords that were suspending him in the air and that he was hanging unconscious upside down.

“What the hell are you doing? Take him down from there.” Lana states, incessantly shaking at Scott’s shoulder as he watched Eren in the viewfinder.

“What the hell are you talking about, Price?”

“He’s not fucking breathing. What the hell are you talking about?”

“He’s acting. Did you not read your script before you got here?” he asks, annoyed as he gestures for the crew around him to continue.

Lana looks up, every gut feeling of hers screaming in her stomach, as she runs on to the set, climbing on to the makeshift ladder and reaching for Eren stuck between the strings.

“Eren. Eren, wake up.”

Except he doesn’t budge in his arms, instead swinging back and forth from the way he’s precariously hanging on the strings. She presses her fingers to his neck, his pulse slightly weak under her fingers, as she can feel the tears burning in her eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you guys? Why can’t you just give him a break? He’s been going at it for like four hours.”

“Price. You’re ruining the shot.” Scott states, rather irritated.

“Take him down. Now.”

Scott rolls his eyes, walking over to the switchbox at his side. He reaches for the lever, placing his hand on the stick, as he all but glares at Lana.

“You want it that bad? Here.”

And he pushes the lever all the way down, sending Eren straight to the ground on his head. Lana can feel the panic rushing through her as she basically tumbles down, turning Eren’s head over in her hands, and being met with red, warm blood on her hands. She gives a weary eye to the crew, who phone the ambulance, as she follows in her own car.

“I think that was the first time that I realize that really, truly - these people don’t care about anything but getting the shot. I get that Eren was supposed to look like he was dead in that scene, but tiring him out to get the perfect shot was far from what he needed to do.”

“I sustained a concussion that left me in the hospital for a week. And I had three long lacerations down the length of my back from the harnesses that we were using, that basically sliced it on impact. That I still have scars from by the way.” Eren states.

You reach for Eren’s hand, squeezing hard on his wrist, as the video continues.

“When we finally made it back to set, Connie was there. And it’s not that I don’t love Connie, that I wouldn’t have loved to see him there, but I already knew that it wasn’t going to go well.” Eren states.

Eren sighs.

“I know, logically, that you can’t really blame these things on people. That Connie wasn’t my responsibility and that addiction is a real, physical disease that he had to battle against. But I just can’t help but feel like I could have stopped him if I was there.” Eren states.

“When I got to set, everyone around me hyped me up over the same basic thing. That Eren was out of commission, for reasons that they wouldn’t exactly tell me, and that I should take his spot as the lead. It was only a few days into shooting and that it would be an easy switch if I had just asked Scott if I could take his role.” Connie states.

Connie sighs.

“It was a simple thing that they were telling me. That Eren - he had gotten to be the lead role, hundreds of times over. That Levi had picked Eren out of everyone as the best, that he was extra hard on him because he knew that he could make a star. And that really, I had never gotten the same kind of exposure that Eren had, the type that comes from being a lead.” Connie states.

The video cuts - to videos of Connie and Eren filming on the set of Attack on Titan - the two of them playing pranks on Erwin and Hange together, running around each other between scenes, and laughing at Historia and Ymir walking past.

“Eren is one of my best friends. I would never want to side swipe him like that, so I decided that I was going to ask Eren for the role. And I was really self-assured that Eren would give it to me. Because he’s always been giving in that sense, he always had been with Armin and Y/N, and he would for me too.” Connie states.

“Just to clarify, the reason that I didn’t let Connie take the role at that point was because I had quite literally sustained a concussion from doing it. I was never going to let him step into that - no matter how hard he begged me to.” Eren responds.

“And so I got really hurt by it. And then everyone around me, they kept whispering it in my ear. That Eren couldn’t handle anyone but him being the star. That Eren thought I had no business being there, that I wasn’t made to be in a lead role. And for some reason, I don’t know fucking why, I thought that they were being honest with me. That they were being earnest. They kept bringing up the Girlfriend incident, that Eren was so quick to drag Y/N down the first chance he got, and that he would do the same to me too. I had so much trust in these people that I would do anything to stay friends with them. Because they were real. And unfortunately for me, I did. And one of the shittiest things I ever did was fight with Eren because of it.” Connie stated.

Eren found out, three months after the fact, that Connie had been doing drugs. He had his suspicions, since Connie had been spending so much time around Myka, and acting so weird and skittish around him that something had to be up.

So after he dropped Teddy off to Landon’s and head back to set with Lana, the two of them were prepared to talk to him about whatever it was, to clear the air. Except when they got there and knocked on Connie’s door, they found him lying face down on the desk, fast asleep with a small mound of white powder and a small trickle of blood down his nose.

“Connie. Connie, wake up.” Eren states, rigidly shaking his entire frame.

“Oh my gosh. Oh my god, Eren what do we do?” Lana states, her hands on his shoulder as he hears her sniffling in his ear.

“Connie. Dude, you have to wake up now. Come on.” Eren states.

Connie lightly shuffles in his sleep, as Eren backs up out of the way, with Lana behind him. Connie wakes up, half there, as his eyes focus in on Eren and he pales. That Connie’s giving him the most agitated, mean look that he’s ever gotten in his life. That he’s ever seen Connie sport in his life.

“Connie. Hey, you-”

“What do you want, Eren?” he asks.

“We were just worried about you, dude. We haven’t talked in so long, and that’s our fault, but-”

“I’m not good enough for you, right? You’re too big of a star to be friends with someone as low on the food chain as me right?” Connie responds, seething.

Eren frowns.

“Connie, hey man. What are you talking about? We’ve been like family since we were little. Why would I-”

“Why didn’t you give me the lead role? Why the fuck are you and Lana always sneaking around behind my fucking back? Don’t play the family card in my face when you’re the one who fucking abandoned me, Eren.”

“Connie. I’m really sorry that I-”

That’s when Connie lifts his hand, jolting it straight across Eren’s face. He can feel the immediate, immense pressure on his nose, the bright red shooting out of his nostrils as he looks back up at Connie.

“Connie. We can’t-”

“We can’t what? You won’t fight me?”

“No, Connie. I’m not going to fight you.” Eren states.

“Why not? You’re still too good for me, aren’t you? You’re too good for Y/N, too good for me, too good for anyone who fucking got you there.” Connie states, swinging again.

Connie’s movements are loose, uncoordinated, which is when Eren reaches for his arm, just to pin him to the ground underheath him. There’s a sweltering guilt when he does it, holds Connie down, and it only increases in magnitude when Connie cries underneath him, cursing his name.

“Two weeks after my fight with Connie, my worst possible outcome occurred. That I have friends, who love me more than anything, and wanted to surprise me for my birthday. Y/N and Armin came to Seattle. And Y/N….she wanted to tell me that she still loved me.” Eren states.

“That was the worst possible time that they could have shown up. Because they were this close to leaking my secret, basically telling me that it was any day now that it was going to happen, after finding out that Eren and I were planning on breaking our contracts, just to be out of the situation for good. We had even reached out to Levi and Hange about it, which they had found out about very fast.” Lana states.

“I saw Y/N for the first time at my birthday dinner and was immediately floored at the fact that she was there. And Armin had quickly told me, when I had scurried away to the bathroom to check on her, so I knew what I had to do. I left my birthday dinner, with Hyla, to break up with her then and there. When I knew that I had a chance at getting Y/N back.” Eren states.

“Do you want to get out of here? Just you and me?”

Hyla gives him a giddy smile as she nods, putting her hand in his, as he drags her out, with his arm secured around his waist. And the second that he can drive them slightly out of earshot, back to the house where he can talk to her in private, there’s a weight that’s lifted off of his chest when he gets to say it.

“I’m breaking up with you.” Eren states.

Hyla frowns, squinting her eyes at him.

“Okay but like…technically, we aren’t even dating. It’s just a publicity thing.” Hyla states.

“Whatever this is. I want out. I-I’m not doing it anymore.” Eren states.

Hyla laughs, sitting criss crossed on the couch, as she looks up at him.

“My dad is going to be super pissed at you, Eren.”

Eren smiles, lighter than he had been feeling in the four years that he had been stuck in this godforsaken house. Because truly, the reason that had brought him here, didn’t matter anymore.

Levi and Hange were on his side - and they were going to help him out of this - and more importantly, you were back. The two of you were going to be together again, despite wherever the hell the two of you were going to be stuck.

“I don’t care. My contrat is almost up anyways. And I can imagine that the same headlines get boring over time, Hyla. I think it’s time to call it quits.”

Eren looks down at her, busily typing away on her phone, as she looks up at him.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Eren?” Hyla states.

“Yeah. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

“Fine. You can meet with my dad tomorrow to talk about it. He’s been thinking about bringing Ricky James on for a while anyways.” Eren states.

“Be my guest. You guys would fucking love him.” Eren states, running off.

“I was still on Cloud Nine that night. And it was making my skin itch, knowing that Y/N was like four feet away from me and we were going to be together again. So I woke her up in the middle of the night and took her to the beach outside of one of the houses that Lana and I owned. And-”

Eren tears up in the video, as you fight away the warm tears that are welling in your own eyes.

“During that entire night, I-I was so fucking happy again. All of the things that seemed so consequential to me when I was seventeen, that I needed to be at the same level as Y/N to be with her - which would basically be impossible, because she was always going to be better than me - seemed so ridiculous. The two of us, we just got to be real people in the second. The way that we always got to be when we were together.” Eren states.

“The following morning, Scott had shockingly agreed to let Eren and I be dismissed from our contracts, given that we finished off the press deals that we had going on. Which included the interview that we were going to do on the Life in Love podcast. Which should have ben our first, glaring red flag. That of course, we were never going to be let off that easy.” Lana states.

“It was simple. I guess-I guess I was so fucking happy that I got to talk about me and Y/N, what the two of us coming back together meant to me, that I put it all out there. And the WBS paid off Life in Love and edited the version of the podcast that was released.” Eren states.

“Granted, the part that’s always floored us that people never questioned it once. That the podcast clip that was released was barely ten minutes, when the episodes are usually an hour. That the podcaster has to ask questions to provoke the answers and that they weren’t even in the fucking video. And most of all - the fact that I didn’t even fucking talk thoughout the entirety of the interview.” Lana adds.

“I would have told Y/N. I would have told her the full truth then and there and I know that she would have believed me. Except, the person that I least expected, came to me beforehand and stopped me from doing it.” Eren states.

Eren’s met with an incessant pounding at his door, as he shoves all of his last belongings into his bag, ready to take off with you and Armin - and making your best efforts to drag Connie with you.

Eren opens the door to find Myka at his door, out of breath and panting.

“What?” Eren asks.

“Eren. You can’t leave.”

“Oh what the fuck do you want now? I’m taking Connie with me and that’s the fucking last of it.” Eren states.

“No, Eren. Really. You can’t go right now.” she states, pushing into his room and fervently sliding through her phone.

She hands him over the phone, with the email chain, as he anxiously reads through it and feels his heart drop.

“There’s no way. They can’t do that right?”

The email chain has the headlines - printed out and ready for distribution. Of them displaying every one of the last secrets that he wants out there front and center. About Connie being a drug addict, about Lana and Teddy, and of him and Y/N being homewreckers on the beach.

“It’s just a headline. We’ll be fine.”

“Eren. I read the article. They wrote about her brother’s in the article. About Lana and Ricky too - in detail.”

“What do you mean in detail?”

“They know everything, Eren. About every last detail of what he did to her, Eren. They’re going to put it all out there tomorrow, the second that you leave. And Y/N’s brothers…haven’t they literally been attacked before? This will be tenfold to that, Eren.”

Eren sighs, shaking the thought from this head.

“We’ll send them a security detail. And Lana, Connie, they’ll be-”

“Eren. You know for a fact that Lana doesn’t want anyone to know that he even exists. And Connie’s career. He’s never going to recover from this. And it’s- Y/N won’t be happy, Eren.” She states.

“So what the hell do you want me to do? Just stay here? Because there’s no way in hell that I’m letting Y/N stay here with me. And I know her - she’s not going to leave here without me.”

“They have Falco and Colt’s addresses, Eren. And-and don’t tell anyone but fucking Danny and Sareen? Her producers? They’re in on it. Sareen is literally Scott’s cousin, Eren. They’re planning on taking Y/N’s music away from her, so that they can make money off if it without giving her a cut.”

Eren pales.

“They’re going to do that if she stays here. And you know for a fact that you can’t leave because Connie won’t go and Teddy and- Eren you have to stay. She has to leave.”

“I can’t even fucking trust you. I don’t know what shitty game you’re trying to play here but it’s not funny.”

“I care about you guys.”

“Yeah right.”

“Okay, maybe not about you. But Lana….I care about Lana. This is the last thing she would want, she literally works so hard to make sure that no one will know about him for good reason. It would kill her to see it all get leaked.”

“Who the fuck is Lana to you? You don’t even-”

Eren understands it all too quickly. The pained flash that overtakes her eyes, the eway she’s so incessantly pleading on Lana’s behalf.

It’s because she’s in love with Lana.

Eren sighs, pinching his eyes shut.

“Do you have the article? I have to read it before I decide.” Eren states.

She nods, as she opens up the next email chain andhands him the phone. And when he reads through it, each consecutive sentence makes his stomach hurt, making it glaringly obvious what he has to decide.

Because the all but declare a smear chain against you and your brothers, slut shame you for what happened on he beach, drag Hange and Levi’s name to the blood, and leave no detail of Lana’s relationship with Ricky out. Things that no person should have aired out and Connie’s section nearly career ruining.

“Fuck. So what do I do? I mean-”

Eren can feel the tears burning in his eyes, as the leave warm, hot streaks down his skin.

“You have to make sure she leaves, Eren. You can’t have Y/N stay here. It’ll put things back to normal.” Myka states, downtrodden.

“She’s not going to leave. If I tell her, she’s going to want to stay with me. To be in my side during this and-”

“Say what you have to. To make her leave.”

“Think of the worst possible thing you could say, Eren.”

“I did what she asked. I-I made sure that she would leave. And in hindsight, the entire situation seems so stupid that me. That there were ten other things that I could have done, but…in that moment, I did what I thought was right.”

“It was idiotic in hindsight. Because it stopped them from running their smear campaigns on Lana and Connie, but Y/N was the one who got side sweeped in the middle of it.” Connie states.

“That’s where I came in. Danny and Sareen had reached out to me about everything that had happened with Y/N and Eren. Told me that I needed to amke sure that she came out of this on the other side, that she couldn’t let a guy take her career away from her. And anyone who knows the half of it about me knows for a fact that it was the right thing that they needed me to say, to get her to do it. And really, they had purposely picked everyone who went to see Y/N. Jean, not Mikasa, because he had a personal interest in seeing Eren hurt, because he was hurt too. And Sukuna, who would never advise her head on, but support what she wanted to do in full.” Historia says.

You groan, hanging your head in your knees as you know exactly what’s coming next.

That Danny and Sareen had given Scott and his stupid tabloid company exactly what he wanted. That they were the one pushing you to sing all three songs, that each consecutive piece of information made you more irritated, more mad as you went on to perform. And worse than that - Danny and Sareen made it a point to talk to Eren before the show, just to taunt him to his face.

“I had reached out to Levi and Hange for their help two weeks before the award show happened. And luckily enough for me, they helped us out of the situation, fast. Connie, Lana, Sukuna, and I sued Scott Clarkson for defamation of character, mistreatment of employees, and a dangerous workplace. We got to end our contracts early. And then moved forward.” Eren states.

The video changes to different clips, each one striking deep in your heart. Of Connie blowing out the candles on his one year anniversary of being sober as Teddy blows out his birthday candles, of Eren and Zeke getting along, and of the four of them all together, laughing at stupid videos of each other. And Eren signing along with Lana, brings the tears pouring down your eyes.

There was nothing left to do (Oh-oh, oh-oh) When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room So I punched a hole in the roof (Oh-oh, oh-oh) Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you Rain came pouring down When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe And by morning Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean (Oh, oh, oh, oh)

“Make no mistake. There was so much that was taken out of us, in the years that we spent working there at Stone Studios. In being part of an environment that was so shitty, so damaging to who we were and the mental state that we were living in, in the name of making a good movie. But there was good that came out of it too.”

The clips switch, this time shocking you so deeply in your core that it makes your heart burn. Because the clips are of Sukuna and Lana, together. Swinging their hands together on the beach, cooking together in the kitchen, and kissing each other on the cheek.

“I know for a fact now, that the tiny little wishes that I made against my bedroom door have come true. Because I’ve been lucky enough to be blessed with the warmest, most compassionate partner that I could have ever wanted.”

Which is when you notice it. That in the video, Sukuna has the same little teddy bear tattoo as Lana on his forearm. And that they both have the tattoo for their son.

Your past and mine are parallel lines Stars all aligned and they intertwined And taught you The way you call me, "Baby" Treat me like a lady All that I can say is All of the girls you loved before (ooh) Made you the one I've fallen for Every dead-end street Led you straight to me Now you're all I need I'm so thankful for All of the girls you loved before But I love you more

“Lana is the love of my life. I’m glad that every shitty thing in my life was just…preparation for me to get to her. Because every shitty betrayal, every crappy headline, every deep rooted hard feeling in my chest, she’s the person who was made to handle it. She’s gentle, she’s warm, and she’s everything I’ve ever wanted. And I’d go down this path a hundred times more if Teddy and Lana were always the ones waiting for me at the end.” Sukuna states.

“It was a horrible situation. But it’s taught us to appreciate the very best. For me, I finally got to reconcile with my older brother, who go to tell me the real story of what happened to him as a kid. And now, I’ve gotten to rectify one of the most important relationships in my life.” Eren states.

“I feel really shitty for how things went down, Eren.” Zeke states.

Eren nods, hiking his knees to his chest, as he rests his chin against his legs. Hange and Levi had invited Zeke over in his little retreat in the house, as they prepared for the case at the end of the week, just to talk things out. Hange and Levi had all but forced Eren to be polite and at least hear him out.

“I’m sure you’re too young to remember. But, that day at the hospital. They had started the rumors that I was funding drug dealers through money that I had in my back accounts.” Zeke states.

“Well, what did you actually do with that money? Because I know for a fact that Mom and Dad had actually found money being shoveled out of your savings, Zeke.”

He frowns.

“You know my Mom, Eren?”

“What kind of dumbass question is that? We have the same mom, idiot.”

“No, Eren. My biological mother.”

“Oh, sorry. Dina, right?”

“She’s not a good person. And I know that. But, she had reached out to me. Asking for money. She said that she needed the money for hospital bills and all that and that Dad wouldn’t return her calls. And that she feels horrible asking of this, because she knows I’m her son and she should have taken care of me, butcher really, reallyneeded it.” Zeke states.

“And she…spent it on drugs.” Eren states.

“Yeah. And Mom and Dad knew that, they believed me when I told them.”

“They did?”

“Yeah. But it was my decision to distance myself away from you guys. I wasn’t planning on doing it but…Mom lost a magazine cover, Dad lost a role, and…I knew that this was your dream. That you wanted to make it big and you couldn’t really make it big with me attached to your name.”

“Zeke. That’s so stupid. I wouldn’t have cared about that. And I don’t care because-”

“Eren. You don’t care now. There comes a point where everyone reaches this kind of stage. Where thje politics and the shitty tabliods, they make you realize that all of these things are really inconsequential. But at that age, this was all that you wanted. And I’d hate foryou to secretly resent me, resent my shitty decisions, becuase they were the ones that were holding you back.”

“Zeke…”

“I’m just glad to have you back as my brother now. I know my actions don’t really make it seem that way, but you kind of meant the world to me, man.”

The camera cuts, to a black screen with text on it, as the movie closes out.

Eren Jaeger, Lana Price, Connie Springer, and Ryomen Sukuna sued Scott Clarkson and Stone Studios on November 6th. The four of them reached a settlement with the studio, each recieiving twenty-five millions dollars each from the Clarkson Conglomerate.

Lana Price and Ryomen Sukuna have decided to split their settlement money two ways. Both are dedicating a half to ensure that they can continue to fund and upkeep security costs for their son, Theodore Price. And together, the two of them are donating the other half of their money to sexual assault victims, in hopes to support those who have similar experiences to the two of them.

Connie Springer has decided to donate all of his settlement money in order to support the establishment of rehab centers in various cities throughout the country. He hopes to create an advocacy network for those who have struggled and hopes to shine a light on the problems that exist in the current, underfunded programs.

Eren Jaeger, along with his settlement money, has asked Stone Studios for two additional items. First, he has asked for a copy of the original interview that he did for Life in Love, which he plans to return to Y/N L/N, who he claims was the only person who deserved to hear those words in the first place, the first chance he gets.

Second, Eren Jaeger negotiated with the conglomerate for weeks for the masters to Y/N L/N’s album, The Lucky One. The negotiation was short-lived, but the Scott Conglomerate has promised to return the rights of the music to Y/N L/N.

And third. Eren Jaeger has decided to donate his settlement money to fund arts programs throughout the Candian Provinces. Eren Jaegers album, Valedictorian, will donate all of the money produced in it’s first calendar year to the same cause.

“Y/N has dreamed about being a triple threat since she was a kid. But the first time that she ever felt that the dream was real was when, according to her, a group of hippie dippies in her hometown had raised money and petitioned to fund the arts program at her school. Which in turn, helped her realize that this was something that she loved. More so than just something that she wanted to do as a career, but something that was so in tune with who she was as a person, that she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from doing it even if she wanted to. And I’d hate for people to look at me, or at her, and be dissuaded from coming into this industry, no matter how shitty it is. There’s really depth to her art and her work that can’t and wont’ ever be diminished by any of this. Which was the point of all of this anyway.”

The video switches, this time to different clips of you and Eren. Of the two of you at awards shows togethers, sitting in interviews together laughing, and the nearly thousands of clips that Connie has made of you two together throughout the years.

Of the two of you in love.

I still remember the look on your face Lit through the darkness at 1:58 The words that you whispered for just us to know You told me you loved me So why did you go away?

“Make no mistake. Y/N L/N is the love of my life. She’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. She’s compassionate, sensitive, and always been so understanding of me. There’s never been, and going to be, someone in my life that has such a pull on me the way she does. She’s the moon, she’s the only reason that I even push and pull in the way that I do. I wouldn’t be sitting here, in this chair today, telling my truth if she hadn’t been so brave, so truthful as to do it first. And I wouldn’t be sitting here, still wholeheartedly believing in love, even though I lost it, because I know for a fact that it would be a disservice to what we shared to turn myself away from it.”

I never thought we'd have a last kiss I never imagined we'd end like this Your name, forever the name on my lips So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are Hope it's nice where you are

“It’s always that dumb question that people ask. Would you rather love and lose it or not love at all?”

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed You can plan for a change in the weather and time But I never planned on you changing your mind

“The correct answer is always to chose love. And it’s an easy question when the person you’re loving is love personified.” Eren finishes.

You turn over to Eren, teary eyed and the gaping, the burning feeling in your chest so immense that you can’t even fathom the words to say to him. So overwhelmed, so overstimulate from everything that you’ve heard - everything that you’ve felt - that you can barely keep your head on straight. The last song starts playing, which you can tell is entitled Fine Line from the credits line, as the words make the sobs wrack through you fully.

We'll be a fine line We'll be a fine line We'll be alright We'll be alright We'll be a fine line We'll be a fine line We'll be alright (alright, alright, alright)

You turn to him, his hands on your shoulders, as he reaches up to brush the tears off of your face. You can still feel yourself hiccuping in his touch, the look in his eyes so pained as he looks into your eyes.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.” Eren whispers.

“Eren. You- you fucking idiot. I’m going to kill you.” you whisper back, mustering your best glare as you frown at him.

“That frown never stops being cute, you know? You have the horror appeal of a stuffed animal.”

You shove him, in response, glaring at him as the burning in your chest slightly subsides.

“Stop trying to lighten the mood. I’m ten different levels of mad at you right now.”

“Okay. I’m going to say something crazy to you, but it’s just an idea, okay? We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to?”

“What the fuck could be crazier than…oh, I told you that I didn’t care about you because I wanted to protect you? Or, oh, I sued a person who took everything away from me and instead of trying to get more money, I tried to get back the rights to your music. Or oh, THAT STUPID INTERVIEW I DID WAS FUCKING EDITED?”

“Okay. Maybe it’s a little less crazy than that. But just hear me out okay?”

“I can basically never hear that phrase the same from you again. The last time I didn’t hear you out, you were sitting on a butt load of fucking information. Like the fact that you took the fall for me when someone threatened my fucking family? Or oh, I was struggling for years on end but never once reached out to you or-”

“Sweetheart. Just listen to me. Please.”

You frown, crossing your arms as you look at him.

“Everyone else is going to be on the press tour for another four days. And there are some people who want to see us….in Seattle.”

“Seattle? Don’t tell me in some weird twisted way that you're friends with Hyla or something?”

“Ew, no. Not Hyla. But your wife wistfully looks at the window everyday, wondering when you’re going to come home from war. And no I’m not being dramatic she makes that joke almost every day. And Sukuna said he has some choice words prepared for you that he’s been sitting on for a few years now. And, it’s also Teddy’s sixth birthday. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m kind of his favorite. And I know that he would like you too.”

“You-”

“It would just be for two days. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but the two of them. They really love you. They want to see you and…you have a lot to talk about. With both of them.”

“Yeah. I-I want to see Lana. And Sukuna, they…. fuck, Eren. they went through so much. You- you went through so much. I’d like to see them and- Eren, I don’t know what to say but-” you respond, the tears warm as they spread down your eyes.

“Don’t say anything yet. Sit on it for a little. I’ll pack our things, yeah?” he states, voice warm as he smiles at you.

“Okay.”

“One last thing, Y/N.”

“Eren. You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

He rolls his eyes, as he fishes through his pocket, and places a USB in your hand. You twist it over in your fingers as you look at it and give him a confused look.

“The interview. Unedited. I-I meant what I said. You-you should be able to hear it. Those words are meant for you and you only.

You turn it over in your hands, preshing it flesh against your hand, as you and Eren step out of the townhouse into the snow and head towards the car for the airport.

Hand in hand.

next part linked here

an: GUYS U CANT SIMP OVER SUKUNA ANYMORE HES A FATHER. LEAVE HIM ALONE I SWEAR TO GOD. that being said sukuna and lana appearances next chapter RAAAA. and as always, someone send me an ask for the valedictorian tracklist I HAVE IT LOCKED AND LOADED

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pb524830 · 2 months

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anyone else

part: 3 pairing: paige bueckers x oc word count: 3.3k c/w: slight mention of blood, language a/n: hi guys! so sorry this is probably much later than you expected, i've just been so busy with school and other stuff. here's part 3. let me know what ideas you guys have for other fics and what you might want to see :)

OCTOBER 2020

Ava you good? 8:24 PM

Yo I’m waiting at mine 8:43 PM

Avaaaa 8:46 PM

I’m going crazy thinking about you dude 8:52 PM

I’m serious 8:52 PM

Don’t leave me hanging like this 8:52 PM

I read over Paige’s messages tiredly. I feel so incredibly stupid. How many times has she used these lines on girls? Probably more than she can count. I nearly laugh out loud. Poor Paige, I think to myself. Keeping track of a roster like that while being such a shitty person must be hard. The hatred is bubbling in my chest, angry and scorching. It pushes me to my feet, out my door, and to Audrey’s room.

Before I know what I’m doing, I knock on the door, plastering a smile on my face. “Hey, what’s up?” Aubrey says brightly when she opens her door. “Nothing much. Who was that, though?” Audrey smiles sheepishly. “Swear you won’t tell anyone?” She asks. My heart pounds painfully. Paige had asked me to keep quiet about us hanging out, too. I nod nonetheless. “It was Paige Bueckers.”

I knew that. I knew that. But somehow, hearing it out loud hurts even worse. “How-how did y’all meet?” She giggles, covering her mouth. “Okay, you remember that night we were at the gym? Doing serve-receive? Like last month?” I nod, the thudding in my chest suffocating me now. “She ran into me and she just, like, asked for my snap. And she’s hot so I gave it to her.”

The night she walked me home. The same night she told me I was pretty and told me that my smile was beautiful.

She played me.

“Was she good?” I ask bluntly, my voice foreign to my own ears. Aubrey’s eyes widen. “Uh, yeah? Like, really good. Oh, my God - she did this thing with her tongue...” There’s a roaring in my ears all of a sudden.

She fucking played me.

“Avantika? Are you okay?” I nod, too wrapped up in my own thoughts and back away, stumbling back to my room. Had I liked her that much? Why does it hurt this bad? I glance around my room, my eyes landing on an article of clothing. Her hoodie. A UConn basketball hoodie. She’d given it to me after walking me home from practice one night.

She’d come to the volleyball gym just to walk me home. She told me I looked good in her clothes, but that I’d look better in her bed.

I’d slept in it for three days straight after.

I want to burn it now.

NOVEMBER 2021

The surprise party is at Paige’s apartment. I haven’t been there in over a year. But I find myself standing in front of her door, too nervous to knock. Which doesn’t make any sense, obviously. There’s no reason to be nervous; it’s just like any other party. I’m dressed in a strappy green tank top and cargo pants, my hair down and curly. Taking a deep breath, I rap on the door with my knuckles.

Paige opens it. My breath catches, and I hate that it does. She’s in a pair of blue shorts and a sports bra, drying her hair with a towel. Her hand drops to her side, towel in hand, when she sees me. “Avantika, hi.” I smile slightly. “Hey,” I reply. “Am I early? I didn’t wanna be late, so-”

“Nah, ur good. You can help set up, actually,” she tells me, shuffling to the side to let me in. Her apartment looks the same as I remember. I catch a glimpse of her familiar, ludicrous purple bed sheets through her cracked room door. I turn to her, inhaling deeply. “What can I help with?” I ask, holding out my present for Azzi. Her eyes linger on me, trailing over my body as she takes the gift in one hand and continues drying her hair with the other. “I blew up balloons, but I didn’t string them together yet. You mind?”

She sets the present on the counter, hopping up onto it. Her legs dangle off the edge, spread wide as she watches me string together balloons that say ‘Happy Birthday’. She fishes a dab pen out of her pocket and takes a hit. “You want?” She asks. I glance at her, shaking my head. She shrugs, tipping her head back to release the smoke. My eyes draw to her jawline, fingers going slack. I curse myself for still letting her have this effect on me. Her head lolls back forward, catching me staring. I see her mouth twitch into a smirk, ever so slightly, before she clears her throat. “You all good there?” She asks, gesturing to the balloon garland I’m supposed to be helping with.

I laugh shakily. “No, yeah. All good.” Paige shakes her head, grinning. “Here, I’ll do it. There’s a package in my bedroom with streamers. Go grab it?” I roll my eyes, handing the balloons and string over to her. “You remember which one it is?” She hums, eyes flicking to mine. My mouth twitches. I nod wordlessly.

The silence is so suffocating. I’m not used to being alone with her - at least, not anymore. I hate that her presence is still so intoxicating, that there’s still this undeniable force pulling me to her. I hate the way she laughs and the way she talks and the way she looks at me.

I get in and out of her room as quickly as possible, snatching the Amazon package off of her bed. I grab a knife from the kitchen to slice through the tape, but I’m so distracted that I accidentally slash my own finger. I hiss in pain, dropping the knife onto the counter with a clatter. “Fuck,” I whisper agitatedly, Paige’s head whipping up. “Avantika?” She asks. “All good,” I say, turning away from her, holding my finger to my chest, trying not to get blood on my top. It’s really flowing now, in rivets down my finger, pooling in my palm.

“Yo, Avantika,” Paige says, turning me towards her by my shoulder. “Oh, shit,” she breathes, grabbing my hand. “Okay, wait, it’s fine-” I try to get out, but Paige already has my finger in her mouth. My eyes widen as she licks away the blood, walking me backwards with her to rummage around a kitchen drawer. “Paige!” I say. She shoots me a look, taking my finger out of her mouth and wiping at her lips with the back of her hand. She fishes out a bandaid and an alcohol wipe.

“I can do it-”

“Hush.”

I shut up immediately, watching as Paige cleans my cut, shaking her head when I hiss at the sting of the alcohol swab. She tears at the bandaid package with her teeth and applies it smoothly, wrapping it tightly around my finger. “How’d you even manage that?” She muses. I narrow my eyes at her, snatching her hand away. “It was very strategic, actually, I wanted to slice my hand open-”

“Clearly-”

“What are you, fuckin’ pre-med now?” I demand.

“Might have to be, if you can’t take care of yourself,” she laughs, shoving me lightly.

I shove her back, smiling back at her. I can’t help it.

Her eyes meet mine. “No ‘thank you'?” She asks.

I scoff. “You put a bandaid on me,” I ridicule.

Paige’s eyes widen. “I could’ve let you bleed to death,” she says.

I gape. “You are so dramatic-”

“And you’re ungrateful as hell, come here,” she complains, grabbing at my waist and pulling me against her more or less bare torso, hands going to my sides to tickle me. I shriek with laughter, fighting at her, clutching at her hands to pull her away from me. But Paige is relentless, hands going everywhere, ordering me, “Say thank you! Say thank you and I’ll stop!”

“No shot!” I gasp, eyes welling with tears of laughter, trying to ignore the scent of strawberries that invades my nostrils.

“Say it!” She demands, an arm winding all the way around my torso to hold me against her as I fight harder.

“Yo, why the fuck is nothing set up?” I hear a voice demand. Paige’s hold loosens, but doesn’t relax. Her arms hang limply from my body, and when I see Evina standing indignantly in front of us, I shove her away. Paige clears her throat, backing up.

“Hi, Evina,” I say, my tone suddenly solemn. “Hi, E,” Paige says. She at least has the sense to look sheepish.

“Well, if y’all are done fucking around, Caroline’s about to drive Azzi back. Let’s get it together,” she commands, clapping her hands. Paige and I snap into motion, finishing up the decorations and hanging them up in a relatively organized fashion.

The party goes smoothly - Azzi does a good job of acting surprised, though I’m sure she’s well aware of what the girls were going to do in the first place. We cut cake and load her up with presents, before Paige calls for a round of shots.

And that’s when the night really takes off.

Soon enough, Paige has made some sort of insinuation that she can drink better than me, and I’m going shot for shot with her. She’s really putting me through it, knowing just how to push my competitive nature. Me, her, and Azzi begin alternating between vodka and tequila. We’re about 5 shots in before Aubrey and Christyn challenge Paige and Azzi to a game of beer pong. Azzi shakes her head adamantly. “If Paige loses because of me, I’ll never live it down,” she insists. “Ava will go!”

I protest immediately when Azzi pushes me towards the table, Paige in hot pursuit. “No way! I’m not playing beer pong with a bunch of basketball players,” I say indignantly. Suddenly, I feel Paige’s breath hot on my ear, and her hand at my hip. “Hey, I got you, okay? Trust.” Her voice sends shivers through me, and I feel my eyelids flutter. Damn her. I elbow her ever so slightly, shooting her a grin. She smirks back.

Paige dips a ping-pong ball into a cup full of beer on our side, shooting it to theirs. It swirls into their middle cup, and she hands me the other one. I mimic her actions, making it into the cup at the tip of their triangle. We get the balls back, and Paige makes another shot, holding up a 3 on her hand when it plops into a cup at the corner of their triangle. I giggle at Christyn and Aubrey’s annoyed expressions, staggering into Paige. She braces her hands on my shoulders, her chest vibrating with laughter. “You good?” she laughs. I look up at her, her stark blue eyes framed by long, dark lashes, her perpetual smirk. “Yeah,” I breathe. “You want help with this shot?” She asks.

Paige doesn’t give me time to respond before she turns me around, wrapping her arms around me to position my arms, then flicking my wrist for me. The ball lands in their middle cup, and the other two girls groan, reaching for the cups to chug them. I expect Paige to move away from me, to drop my arms the second I’ve made the shot. But her hold lingers, an arm looped around my waist as she laughs, jeering at Christyn and Aubrey, tossing them the balls out of pity. Her arms stay around me, my head leaning back against her chest, hands lingering on her arms, swaying to the music I’m too drunk to recognize, dancing with the girl I’m too drunk to push away. She doesn’t remove her arms from around me until she has to shoot again.

I don’t remember who loses or wins that game of beer pong. I remember the taste of beer in my throat. I remember Paige’s voice in my ear - “Shot of Pink Whit?” I remember Azzi giggling as she leads me into the kitchen, her arms linked with mine as we down the shot of pink liquid.

I remember Paige’s eyes hot on mine, her gaze challenging and curious.

I walk up to her, holding out a shot of Pink Whitney. “Drink,” I command. Paige takes the shot from me, not breaking eye contact. She tips it back down her throat, straight-faced, and then wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

Fuck, she’s hot.

I clap gleefully, spinning away, but she catches at my waist, pulling me into her. “Avantika,” she murmurs. I cock my head. “Paige?” I ask. My heart is beating out of my chest, and I’m so drunk I don’t even realize how close we are. “Are you okay?” She asks sincerely. I nod happily, looping my arms around her neck. “Are you sure?” She repeats. I close my eyes, tipping my head back and laughing. “You don’t have to pretend to care about me,” I slur, lolling my head back towards her.

I must be drunk. I must be, because that’s not a flash of hurt that flits across her face. It can’t be.

So I continue.

“I mean, you never really cared about me, did you?” I scoff, hanging off of her neck. Her brow furrows. “Avantika, what are you-”

“You just wanted to have sex with me…” I say sadly, pouting, tracing her face with my finger. Paige’s eyes widen.

“It’s okay. I wanted to have sex with you, too,” I admit, shrugging, tapping my finger against her lips. Paige shakes her head. “Avantika, you’re drunk,” she says. My hands trail down to rest on her chest. “No, I’m not,” I say indignantly.

“You are.”

“No, you are,” I retort, getting frustrated.

“Ava-”

I push her away immediately. “Do not fucking call me that,” I spit. She holds her hands up in surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry,” she tries to amend, reaching for me again. I stagger away. “No, fuck you,” I snap. “Avantika, you’re so drunk right now. Please, just come lie down.”

She’s pleading with me. I hesitate. “Please,” she begs again, holding a hand out.

I hesitate. “Okay,” I whisper, taking her hand. She pulls me into her chest, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. We stumble through the apartment, the din of conversation in music echoing faintly in the background. Dimly, I hear Azzi’s concerned voice cut through the haze. “Is she okay?” Paige nods. “She was trying to keep up with me,” she explains. “And you let her?” Azzi demands. “Look, I’m sorry-”

“Put her to bed in your room. And no funny business. She’s my friend.”

“Whatever, Azzi.”

Before I know it, Paige’s soft bedspread is tickling my nose. “Avantika, you want water?” She asks. I stretch out, nodding sleepily. “Here, sit up.” I let Paige feed me water, her fingers fumbling with the cap of the bottle. Then she lays me back down. “Sleep, okay?” She turns to walk out the door.

And then, like it has a mind of its own, my mouth opens. “Paige?” I whisper. She turns around immediately. “Will you stay?” I ask softly.

Wordlessly, she climbs into bed with me, kicking off her shoes. She wraps her arms around me, pulling me against her body, and I let her, breathing her scent in, happy that I get to touch her. I snuggle into her, too drunk to care about the implications of how close we are or what we were doing the last time we were both on this bed.

“Paige,” I say quietly. “Hm?” I shift to look up at her, tracing the line of her nose with my eyes. “I don’t actually hate you,” I mumble. She laughs. “You better go to sleep before you say something you regret,” she murmurs. I blink, not fully understanding her words. But I nestle against her chest, letting my arm loop around her waist.

“Avantika?” She asks after a few minutes. I don’t respond. I feel her hand tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Ava,” she repeats, more firmly. I still don’t answer, too tired to move my mouth, humming softly.

Her breath whistles against my forehead when she says what she says next.

“God, I missed you.”

NOVEMBER 2020

“Ava.”

It’s just after a tough loss to Georgetown, and I’m exhausted. As soon as I exit the gym, though, Paige is waiting for me. I have no idea how she’s managed to get anywhere near the volleyball locker rooms.

I deliberately ignore her, brushing past her.

“Ava, come on, talk to me!” She calls, jogging after me.

“I have nothing to say to you,” I say shortly, walking faster.

“You owe me an explanation,” Paige pants, catching up to me and grabbing my arm. She spins me around to face her. “Why haven’t you answered my texts?” She demands. There’s a hint of hurt in her voice. There’s purple under her eyes.

Fuck her.

“Didn’t even realize you’d texted me,” I say casually.

Her eyes narrow. “That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

I shrug nonchalantly. “Maybe I just don’t think about you as much as you think about me,” I say, rolling my eyes. She looks taken aback. The truth is I’ve thought about her every single day since that night about a week ago. I’ve replayed every moment, every touch, every word of everything she’s ever done or said to me in my head. And then I remember her leaning in to kiss Audrey. The way she cupped her face. The way she grabbed her waist and pulled her in. The way she smiled that heartbreaking smile against her lips before she pulled away.

Paige recovers from her shock quickly, reaching for me again. I step back away from her.

“Ava,” she tries again.

It hurts to hear her say that. That name for me that only she’s ever called me, and it’d only been a couple of months, but this girl had made her way into my head and my heart.

“Don’t call me that,” I tell her coldly.

“What?” She asks, stepping closer again.

“I said don’t call me that. Are you deaf?” I demand. I know I’m being rude. Mean, even. I don’t care. I need her as far away from me as possible.

Hurt flashes across her features.

“Matter of fact, don’t text me at all,” I say, disgust lacing my tone. I force it there.

“Why the fuck are you acting like this? You were all over me a week ago, just begging me to fuck you-” Her voice is raising, but mine can, too.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, you piece of shit,” I snap at her.

“You know what, you’re being such a bitch right now-” She accuses, her features twisting with annoyance.

“It’s not my fault you can’t take a fucking hint,” I sneer.

She crowds my space, towering over me, leaning down slightly to snarl against my face.

“And what was the hint I was supposed to take, hm?” Her voice is quiet, but there’s anger in her tone, dripping into me in the way her breath hits my face. She’s so close, her scent so intoxicating, that I just want to give in. “Was the hint that you were stripping for me in my bed? Or that you were moaning my name? Which one was it, Avantika?”

I slap her. Not hard, just enough that she stumbles back. Her hand flies to her cheek, eyes widening in shock.

“I don’t want you,” I say coolly. Liar, liar, liar.

“So leave me the fuck alone.”

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers fic #fic #wcbb #paige bueckers x oc #✂️ anon #uconn wbb

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sunderwight · 5 months

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had a thought of what if Airplane had leaned a little more into the self-insert idea for Luo Binghe when he was still at the early stages of writing, with an end result that Luo Binghe actually Looks Like That because he basically looks like Airplane but with long flowing hair and a more idealized figure

SQQ going "why the fuck did you make his face so pretty???" and Airplane bullshitting about plausibility while trying really hard not to blush. twisting his fingers and scuffing his toe like jeez bro he's not that good-looking...

which of course sets SQQ off because how DARE!?! not 'that' good-looking?!?! just look at him! he's xianxia Helen of Troy with a face that launched a thousand harems! like okay sure with looks like that it does make sense that half the female population was willing to timeshare a marriage with him, but it's also totally unfair to SQQ, who has no recourse against those looks either! and who could? that is the most beautiful face ever!

Airplane's getting flustered. tries valiantly to make the case that objectively speaking Luo Binghe isn't that good-looking, it's just that SQQ is biased, but boy does that not go over well. SQQ has hitched the tattered remnants of his self-perception as a straight man onto the idea that Luo Binghe is just so devastatingly attractive anyone would want to hop into bed with him, and he is not letting go of it, so Airplane is just gonna get wrecked with inadvertent compliments

bonus if the Shang Qinghua look is actually the result of several illusions because when Airplane first transmigrated in, he got the same face too, and foresaw potential problems if the half-demon protagonist turned up looking like him. so he used illusions. he doesn't actually look all that different, in fact! the illusions just make it so that when people see him, they get a strong impression that he's unremarkable, so they don't really register what his face actually looks like and their brains fill in the assumption that he must just be kinda plain

oooh ooh double bonus if the system inserted a behind-the-scenes explanation for it too, which is that Shang Qinghua is actually unwittingly related to Su Xiyan!

and the whole thing comes to light post-epilogue when Shang Qinghua's illusions get stripped away by some monster-of-the-week, while everyone except Mobei Jun has a freak out about why do you look just like Luo Binghe?! (Mobei Jun isn't freaking out because he already figured out how to see past the illusions and just assumed everyone else wasn't mentioning it for some human cultural reason or something) and then Yue Qingyuan calmly explains that Luo Binghe's mom is Shang Qinghua's matrilineal cousin. Shang Qinghua's mother and Luo Binghe's human grandmother were half-sisters.

what? how does Yue Qingyuan know? you think that Cang Qiong doesn't check up on the candidates for the peak lord positions before handing off power, doesn't make sure there are no conflicts of interest or divided loyalties to other sects? what sorts of things do people imagine Qiong Ding's diplomats do? (I don't know either but, for the purpose of this scenario at least some of it is tracking down this stuff -- YQY handled most of it personally for his generation's ascension because he didn't want anyone else digging into his and Xiao Jiu's pasts) anyways, the connection could have been troublesome for its ties to Huan Hua Palace, but by the time it came to light Su Xiyan was deceased and there was no evidence that Shang Qinghua had ever even met her. so it wasn't deemed significant enough to matter, was just made note of and then mostly forgotten

so Shang Qinghua is like "oh THAT is why you kept bringing her up to me back then?!" because at the time he'd just been fully in "haha how would I know anything about the impending plot and the tragedies I am both partly responsible for and powerless to prevent haha that's so funny shixiong I KNOW NOTHING" mode, which luckily at the time was easily read as him just not wanting a dead cousin he never met to tank his chances of securing a promotion

SQQ is floored. he is having issues about this. Shang Qinghua is related to Binghe? Shang Qinghua looks exactly like him?! wait. Binghe has human family? still alive? like grandparents and stuff out there, who might want to meet him...?

Luo Binghe decides to step in at that point because he does not want to meet any more relatives! no more surprise relatives! no!

luckily this distracts Shen Qingqiu from thinking about all of the things he's said to Airplane about Binghe's looks for long enough for Shang Qinghua to flee the scene

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #bingqiu #moshang #cumplane #well kinda cumplane anyway #by implication #long post #what if sqh can't get his illusions back up #everyone keeps bothering him even more now to ask why he's hot all of a sudden #it's even worse than when they just used to bother him about fixing broken doors or balancing budgets #sqq is not gonna be normal about this #'you said binghe wasn't a self-insert!!!' 'well by the end he definitely wasn't...' 'were you this hot irl? why were you poor?!'#'wtf is that supposed to mean...?' 'with these looks you surely could have found somebody willing to support you!'#'bro are you asking me why I wasn't a sugar baby?!' 'of course not!' 'you totally are asking me why I wasn't a sugar baby'#'...but you must have gotten offers' 'only from the hot single ladies near me on my computer and they were all viruses'#etc etc etc so on and so forth the usual insane banter those two have

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chrisevansonly · 6 months

Text

𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐄𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚

how do the leclerc family react when matteo get’s into an accident? (a/n: chapter two will be up on the 6th now!)

Arthur Leclerc

arthur being the youngest of the leclerc brothers knows first hand about how embarrassing a crash can be or how scary it would be for little matteo, so he is usually the first to find him

arthur will find matteo’s hiding spot and go sit down with him, sending a text to you so you can calm charles down

He’ll wait until matteo is ready to talk before pulling him in for a hug and listening to his worries and concerns

matteo loves his uncle arthur so usually if anyone can get him to talk it will be arthur

matteo usually feels better and more confident to talk to his dad once he’s spoken with his uncle arthur, who’s very good at reassuring the little boy of his fathers potential thoughts and feelings

Lorenzo Leclerc

lorenzo is usually the one who first attempts to get to matteo, running towards the crash but the little leclerc is fast to scamper away, lorenzo’s heart squeezing at the sound of his little tears

he then makes sure arthur has it handled before getting matteo’s cart and helping the team bring it back to their tent so they can look it over

lorenzo is the most level headed at this point considering charles is a bit freaked out and as much as you won’t show it, the crash sent panic throughout you, so he is the one to check his equipment and check over any notes and key things from the race

when arthur lets him know matteo is okay and he’s ready to see him, he will bring over his favourite flavour of popsicle and some water, sitting with the two of them and listening to matteo until he’s ready to see his father

matteo might go straight to arthur first but he loves his uncle enzo just as much, knowing he can go to the eldest leclerc brother for anything he needs no matter what it is

Charles Leclerc

charles being matteo’s dad is the first to panic, he gets terrified watching his little boy slam into the barriers at any speed, he may drive for F1 but when it comes to his little boy he is so protective of him

when matteo doesn’t go to him after getting into a crash he feels a bit like he’s failed but you reassure him that matteo doesn’t feel that way at all, being such a big fan of his father, he doesn’t want to disappoint him

you are the first person charles turns to to feel grounded and have a sense of calm when matteo runs off, he feels a bit helpless and you’re always be there to rub his back and support him

when matteo does come back charles is quick to hug him, holding onto him softly, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and pressing kisses to his cheek, letting him know he’s not upset or angry at him at all

charles always makes sure when they leave the track to talk to matteo about his feelings and let him express himself no matter how long it takes, he wants his little boy to feel confident and comfortable with him no matter what the case ❤️

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #little karter🏎️#little karter series🏎️#charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x wife reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc blurb #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc series #charles leclerc au

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peachym00 · 6 days

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"No pools."

kpanniversary2024 - prompt: haunting

(post-canon, post-hospital)

When the smell hit his nose, it stopped Pete in his tracks. It was enough to tear him away from the present and take him back to the dark and painful memory that hid in the shadows of his very being—lurking there, waiting.

Haunting him.

He was only there for a favour. It wasn’t like he needed the money; for once in his life, he had more of the stuff than he knew what to do with. But he wanted to get out of the house, to feel like he had more of a purpose, to feel like he still had a friend. Porsche needed help. That much was clear to anyone within six feet of him and his attempts at being the new head of the minor family. And Pete, being Pete, couldn’t help but hold onto the hand that reached out for him.

They weren’t even in the minor family compound. Pete didn’t make a habit of returning there very often, and Vegas and Macau even less. For obvious reasons, it wasn’t somewhere that any of them wanted to spend their time.

But Pete hadn’t smelt that smell since it happened. And when it hit him as he walked past the outdoor pool in the gentle warmth of the late afternoon sun, his body went cold with immediate dread.

One whiff of chlorine and he was back to that night, the pain shooting through his knees as he dropped to the floor, the sight of Vegas’s skin losing its colour as the life drained from his body—the sound of his own screams as he mourned what was in front of him.

It was…visceral. The image of the scene of his worst living nightmare playing before him like he had a front seat at the theatre. And it wouldn’t stop. Why was there a ringing in his ears? Just playing over and over and over and over–

Pete.

and over and over and over and over–

“Pete!”

The ringing stopped, and he was wrenched out of the past and back into the present.

“Huh?” He asked dumbly, emotionally distraught and hoping desperately no one had noticed.

“You okay, man?” Porsche looked concerned as he pulled down his sunglasses and perched them on the end of his nose so he could peer down at him.

He blinked. “I’m fine,” he plastered on a smile, breathing in and out slowly in a bid to stave off the ever-building panic.

Porsche frowned, though he slowly pushed his glasses back up his nose, maintaining his immaculate play-pretend persona. “All right, man, if you say so. Anyway, so if I send over those files–”

Most things after that fly straight over his head. His body goes on autopilot, almost as if he blacks out. It's not until he somehow drives back home and sits in the driveway of his new house, tucked deep into a fancy gated neighbourhood, that he comes back to his senses. His hands shake as he takes the keys out of the ignition, stiffly getting out of the car and making his way into the house.

It’s quiet when he walks inside, yet his mind is anything but. The sudden need to find Vegas, to see him with his own eyes just to prove he’s still alive, takes over him. He barely remembers to take off his shoes before he rushes further inside, searching through every room until he finds who he’s looking for.

By the time he finds Vegas, who is tucked into the corner of the couch in the spare room, his heart is palpitating out of his chest. The window was perfectly positioned to let in the afternoon sun, so he could frequently be found napping there. Fatigue plagued him in his recovery, and it was not uncommon to come across him asleep. But today, the sight of him passed out does not make him smile. It makes Pete want to scream and howl and wish he would never close his eyes again (for as long as he lives).

He hardly makes a sound as he tiptoes across the room, but he manages to disturb Vegas anyway, his eyes squinting open before Pete has a chance to sit down. “You’re back,” he croaks, eyes brightening as his gaze lands on him. “how’d it go?” He yawns as Pete sits down next to him.

The answer to the question escapes him; in fact, most thoughts escape him. The black cloud of the past still looms over his brain, flooding his memories.

“Pete?” A hand on his knee makes him jump slightly, “what’s wrong?”

“Let’s not get a pool,” he manages, forcing down the need to scream.

“What?” Vegas laughs incredulously, pulling Pete’s arm so he sinks into his side.

“I don’t want to get a pool; let’s not build one,” he repeats, closing his eyes in relief when he can hear the beat of Vegas’s heart underneath his ear.

“Okay. Whatever you want,” Vegas speaks quietly, confused, almost as if trying not to scare away a spooked animal.

A kiss is pressed to his forehead, and the need to scream dissipates.

“No pools.”

#can't stop writing about post-canon vp #i love them so much #vegas theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #vegaspete #kpanniversary2024 #kinnporsche the series #my writing

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bellarkeselection · 10 months

Note

Yellowstone kayce dutton

Reader is trying to sneak off to met her Stalker of a ex to tell him to stop calling her

Kayce shows up at the place where she's meeting the ex she's relief to see him

Ex gets jealous " this your boyfriend "

" yeah " kayce tells him even though they're not together ( yet ! )

Super protective kayce <3

Is This You Asking Me Out

Throwing my phone across the room I screamed seeing the unknown text message number from my ex. I wish he would stop calling me. I had moved back to Montana a few months ago and he had followed me wherever I went. He was a complete stalker of my life never wanting to let me go after I left his ass on the back porch of his parents house. Coming out of the bunkhouse I passed Kayce my bosses son. “Hey Y/n, where are you off to in such a hurry?”

“It’s not your business, Dutton. I’ll be back to finish up my missed work later tonight.” I brushed past him in a huff climbing in my truck and tracking his phone since he had told me where he was if I wanted to change my mind and take him back.

Walking up the stairs if his porch once I parked the truck slamming the door. I pounded my fist on the door seeing Joseph answer the door smirking at me. “Y/n, I was hoping you’d finally come to your senses. Come in and let’s make you for lost time.”

“Actually no that’s not why I’m here.” Crossing my arms over my chest I snapped at him.

He raised a brow at my words. “And why not?”

“Because you have been stalking me since we broke up. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can barely breathe because I am so terrified that might come back and abuse me like you did when we were together!” I raised my voice at him stomping my foot on the ground trying not to cry in front of him.

Joseph stepped out onto the porch harshly grabbing me by my shoulders throwing me into the wall. “We are meant to be together, Y/n!”

“Joseph, I don’t care about you anymore!” I croaked out when he moved one of his hands around my throat until I heard a truck pull up and I gasped seeing the youngest Dutton. “Kayce?”

The cowboy made his way up the stairs grabbing my ex by the back of his jacket throwing his body against the fenced railing of the porch. “Get your hands off of her….are you okay?” Kayce came over to me gently pushing hair from my face seeing that my elbow was bleeding from when he threw me.

“What are you doing here…not that I mind it. But how did you know where I was going?” I asked gripping onto his forearm when he helped me to stand.

He responded before Joseph punched him in the rib. “Beth told me about what you told her. Then I followed your tracks - ugh!” He threw him down on his back where him and Kayce kept fighting until the former navy seal managed to overpower him.

Joseph grunted with Kayce holding his arms twisted behind his back. “So this is your new boyfriend?”

Before I had a chance to respond Kayce did for me releasing his grip on him. “Yeah I am, asshole.” He got to his feet offering me his hand and we quickly left the porch leaving my stalker ex on the porch.

Shutting the truck door we both remained silent on the way back to the ranch. Tapping my fingers on my knees I turned my head in his direction confused. “Why did you tell him we were together when we aren’t. You do realize that now he will come after you to get to me. Why would you do that to yourself?”

“Because I do love you, Y/n. It wasn’t a lie just to piss him off.” Kayce shifted his gaze in my direction lightly gripping the steering wheel. “Nobody should treat you the way he clearly does you.”

Blinking my eyes I couldn’t form a straight sentence when I asked the cowboy sitting across from me. “Is this your way of asking me out, Kayce Dutton?” Kayce and I had instantly became closer the first day we met. But I never thought the guy that was so close he could be my best friend also had feelings for me.

Kayce began turning the truck to put it in park on the side of the road undoing his seatbelt. “No, this is.”

“What are you doing p?” I asked with a half hopeful grin on my face watching his movements.

“I ain’t waiting till we get home to kiss ya.” He leaned over the counsel where I pressed my back against the front of it when he cupped my face in his hands. His brown eyes met mine before he crashes his lips onto mine gently.

I gasped taken back by the kiss before running my fingers up his chest. Moving my hands around his neck I deepened the kiss hearing him moan when I tugged on his hair. “Kayce, I love you too.” I mutter into kisses until we break it needing air to breathe.

“With that said I think it’s time I take you out to dinner, darling.” He sat back down in his seat putting the truck back on the road. Reaching across the counsel I intertwined my hand with his grinning like a child. I knew Kayce would never be what Joseph was to me. He would always be the guy I was meant to be with.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

#kayceduttonxreader #kayce dutton x fem!reader #kayce dutton x reader #kayce dutton #kayve dutton x reader fanfiction #kayce dutton imagine #kayce dutton imagines #kayce dutton images #luke grimes #yellowstone request #yellowstone imagines #yellowstone imagine #yellowstone #yellowstone masterlist #yellowstone x reader #ask box is open for anything #requests open #comments really appreciated

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alrightbuckaroo · 1 month

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Happy Wednesday, my lovelies! I've been a bit more hesitant to share snippets from the Time Loop AU as so much of it just straight up doesn't make sense out of context, but now I've got a (not so) little something to share:

“Grace, I know it sounds weird, I promise, I know,” Carlos continues to explain, the urgency in his voice bleeding into the pauses between in his words. “Call it, an, I don’t know, a gut feeling. Just, I know TK’s in danger and I need your help to stop it.”

For another brief moment, Grace stalls. Then, her eyes return to their natural state of inviting, as if she’s coaxing Carlos in.

“Carlos.” She places a comforting hand on Carlos’ arm, her way of trying to bring him back down to Earth. “If I tell you, an off duty cop, what I know about an emergency due to personal matters, and that gets back to my boss…”

Grace doesn’t finish her statement, and honestly, she doesn’t need to. He came to the same conclusion the moment she put her hand on his arm; the moment she decided to let him down gently.

Regardless, he can’t let himself give up.

“Grace, please,” Carlos tries again, his voice splintering; cracking and breaking into tiny, little pieces of desperation. “I can’t explain it, but I pro-”

“Carlos, I’m sorry,” Grace interjects and Carlos can’t fully blame her. He knows what it’s like to feel like you’re repeating a conversation over and over again. “I can’t.”

Carlos takes a deep breath and can feel the dam he’s built around his core start to giveaway; his eyes begin to sting and there’s a muted sense of burn.

He looks aside, knowing he can’t look at Grace because if he does, she’ll fully see that something’s horribly wrong.

Grace will ask and Carlos will answer. He’ll start talking, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever stop. He’ll unleash everything, and he doesn’t know if he can bestow that kind of weight onto Grace.

That said, if he doesn’t say anything, he knows he’ll unravel. His last thread of his hope will come undone right in front of him, fraying at the ends and leaving him feeling both ragged and torn.

“Besides, he’s with Tommy and Nancy, you know they’ll take care of him," Grace continues, rubbing her hand up and down Carlos’ arm one last time. Carlos doesn’t respond, but Grace can’t afford to be away from her desk much longer. "Get home safe, okay?”

Grace turns and begins to exit the break room when Carlos suddenly says something that stops her in her tracks.

“What if it was Judd?” Carlos suggests, and the silence that follows settles atop the conversation like a blanket of snow.

Thanks to @honeybee-taskforce, @heartstringsduet, @welcometololaland, @paperstorm, @sznofthesticks, @strandnreyes, @three-drink-amy, @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @carlos-in-glasses, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @safeaswrites and @whatsintheboxmh for the tags!

No pressure tagging: @reyesstrand, @bonheur-cafe, @lightningboltreader, @theghostofashton, @herefortarlos, @never-blooms, @louis-ii-reyes-strand, @basilsunrise, @vineofroses, @carlos-tk, @ambiguouspenny, @freneticfloetry, @sanjuwrites, and @reasonandfaithinharmony :)

#every time i think of someone saying “i'm a little worried about the angst” in regards to this one i just think “yeah that's fair”#anyways this fic gave me a reason to write a grace carlos scene let's celebrate THAT #fic: love can pull you out of yesterday #wip wednesday

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sirsadly · 11 months

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request: orc/human - human is the orc's tailor; are they upset cuz the clothing keeps getting messed up? are the appalled by the quality of their former clothing for being so shoddy? does the orc's current ensemble simply not bring out their eyes? are they distracted during a fitting for their friend who deserves nice clothes dammit and didn't expect their ripped-ness to be such a problem because it isn't with their other customers? is this fantasy or modern? -shrugs- i apparently have more thoughts than i thought but this work training is so very boring - feel free to use none of them but the overall prompt but i crave anything that doesn't discuss "the five subcategories on this slide" pls

i hope you got through that work training okay, and you enjoy this mini fic. sorry for being beyond late ;)

Where My Hand Treads

male orc with gender neutral reader

591 words | sfw

Their thighs ate up most of the measuring tape. Their very same thigh you perfectly custom made pants for, that now stretched taut against the gulf of their muscles.

As their tailor, you were happy about their frequent patronage, but it felt like they carefully maneuvered the small shop you worked at least twice a week with an old garment at hand needing repair.

Sometimes that garment was something you made a week prior that needed mending. You wondered what their lifestyle could be like to warrant this many repairs, not that your wallet was complaining. Curiosity that is what we will call it for now, what that shapely legs do for a living.

You could excuse the ripping and loose threads, but what had you up in arms with annoyance, frustration, and maybe even anger was how his ensemble made the least amount of sense. Though he had all the pieces of a professional suit, he never seemed to put the right colours together. And when he did something of the proportions was off, or fraying at the hems hence coming to the shop.

Most importantly it hurt to see a diamond just covered in mud, his clothes never seemed to bring out his personality or the colour of his warm brown eyes. You told him as much after measuring him again for the second time this month, to make sure his clothes were not faulty on your part.

“You want to style me? But I don’t think you provide those services.” He said slowly. “Is this an exclusive offer for my frequent patronage, if so do other clients get this treatment as well.”

“You’re right we don’t. I think I’ve never offered anyone this. It’s just that you clearly need help assembling an outfit, especially if you are going to be here every day needing a garment repaired.”

His eyes wandered towards the rumbling ceiling of your small shop under the subway tracks, rubbing at the back of his head in thought. You have embarrassed him, your banter does not always read as playful as you would hope. Your ears heat in shame, in the already hot summer afternoon. Your words might not always lift a person’s confidence but you knew what you could achieve with your sewing machine and your critical eye. You knew it every time a client looked in the mirror after a fitting.

“Please allow me, I just think you are not shining to your highest capacity. Everyone has certain colours and cuts that make them look effortlessly put together. Not everyone gets to learn that, it’s something you either gotta be passionate about or learn early on.”

Your eyes looked straight ahead to his distracted ones, trying to catch the colour change of his mood. “I would like to extend that knowledge so that you may be your brightest self. I did not mean to embarrass you…” you trailed off after his lips pulled tight. He seemed to be enduring you, that expression twin to those braving the biting wind.

His tusks jutted out, a bit large for his face with his brown eyes, squat nose, and long curls.

You were already imagining the colours you would pull for him, neutral reds and browns for his green skin, toeing that line to bring out his complexion. He would be magnificent. This you could do, this where your hands have tread before.

“My body is in your capable hands, Tailor.” The comment did not go unnoticed, but you knew words could only go so far.

#sirsadly writings #monster romance #monster lover #monster boyfriend #monster fucker #monster x reader #requests are open #mini fics #exophilia #monster/reader #monster/human #orc/human #orc lover #orc x reader #orc x human #request answered

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autisticsupervillain · 2 months

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Could the Wright Anything Agency catch Agent 47?

Assumptions

I'm analyzing this under the pretext that Agent 47 has killed someone and sticks around under the same cover to scope out another target in the same area. The person 47 was disguised as at the time gets framed for the murder and the WAA take the case, looking into this "Tobias Rieper" guy when it starts to seem like he might be involved.

Neither has any prior information on the other going in.

Pre-Disbarment Phoenix

Given the Timelines of both franchises, this is Phoenix going up against World of Assassination Era 47. That is.... not good.

Basically, 47 is at his prime both in his abilities as an assassin and his resources with the ICA and he's going up against Nick back when he still needed Mia's advice from time to time.

Okay, that is unfair. Phoenix has taken down some very tough cookies. Damon Gant, Manfred Von Karma, Matt Engarde, and so on. All of whom were either very connected, very intelligent, or both. 47 is very much both.

I do genuinely think 47 can talk his way around the Magatama. 47 at this point has a particular habit of speaking when undercover, where he'll tell technical truths as a little private joke to himself. Lies of omission. Much like how Matt Engarde got around it by technicality, I do think 47 could as well.

Example: "Hey, doc, what's in that shot you're giving me?" "Floral extracts. Mostly belladonna." "Uh, isn't that poisonous? Shouldn't I be worried?" "I'm not. Just sit back, it'll all be over soon." Etc.

Not straight up lies, just not giving an entirely upfront answer.

That said, the name "Tobias Rieper" mosy definitely would cause a ding, because 47 himself doesn't consider himself as having one. That'll probably be what prompts Nick into poking around.

47 takes care to avoid getting recorded or photographed, and takes time to destroy such evidence when he has to, so Nick's gonna have to rely on witness testimony to prove 47's disguise didn't match his client. His basic Pressing techniques should be enough on that front, getting them to mention 47's completely hairless physique, tall stature, monotone voice, etc by pressing for more detail.

That said, I don't think Nick can genuinely catch 47 out with anything. He was genetically engineered to not leave a trace behind, so he can't grow hair and might not even have fingerprints. He prides himself on the bodies either not being found until hours after he's gone or spinning his kills as elaborate accidents. Nick can definitely bluff and theorize his way into working out how 47 did it, but without any proof, all he can do is prove it couldn't have been his client.

Also, First Game Nick dies here. Dude almost got himself assassinated by the mafia and 47 won't hesitate with that fiber wire.

That said, 47 does play into Nick's hand a little bit. He's been known to concoct overly elaborate kills that only he could ever possibly pull off just to make things interesting and if there's one talent Nick has its untangling convoluted murder plots through logical leaps no one else is willing to make.

47 also canonically has an "aura of death" that psychics can sense because of how many people he's killed. Don't know if the Magatama or Maya can pick up on that, as that's not really in their wheelhouse, but it's there if you want to argue it.

Similarly, 47 has met ghosts before, so he's liable to put his guard up if Mia tries to interject. Hell, he's met actual Santa too.

Also, if Phoenix does get his man, he'll have incurred the wrath of the entire ICA so... lose-lose really.

Ultimately, I think Nick can get his client off the hook, but he won't be able to corner a man as slippery as 47. 47 covers his tracks too carefully. 5/10, would solve case, would not catch killer.

Post-Disbarment Phoenix

A lot of Nick's advantages from before still carry over, but with a few extra notes.

First off, timeline wise, this is Freelancer Era 47. 47 no longer has an entire international assassination agency backing him up and now relies on his contacts in the black market and Diana Burnwood to get around. He also has a home he can be traced back to while previously he moved around constantly.

This time, Phoenix is the one with higher resources, as he has connections to Interpol through Edgeworth and connections to Khura'in through Apollo. He has the means to organize an international manhunt if he has to.

Nick is also a lot more willing and able to play the long game. Take his seven year plan against Kristoph or his collaboration with Edgeworth to catch The Phantom, for instance. Nick won't stoop to the lows he did against Kristoph again, as that came about from him being at the lowest point in his life, but his plan there proves he's absolutely able to play the long term Chessmaster when silly bluffing lawyer man won't cut it.

Again, Nick won't be able to catch 47 on their first run in. He just runs too tight a ship. Unlike previously, Nick will have the means to conduct follow up investigation and won't have to do so with a massive target on his back because the ICA doesn't exist anymore.

That said, a 47 whose at the top of his game is still a bit more than the Interpol of Ace Attorney can handle. It will take a lot of planning to create a trao that 47 can't just shoot his way out of. Most likely by going after Diana, but it'll take awhile for him to figure out she even exists. Diana's a force to be reckoned with on her own.

In brief, he can, but he'd have to dedicate a significant chunk of his life to it, pulling every string he has through connections and friendships. 9/10

Apollo Justice

Gonna be blunt, perceive is not gonna work. Like, flat out.

47 doesn't have body ticks. He's unnaturally stiff at all times, even while relaxing and having fun. He doesn’t emote or react or change his tone of voice in a situation. There wouldn't be a microexpression to give away the lie because 47 barely has expressions.

That said, he's just as good at the classic approach as Phoenix is, so a lot of what I said there applies here. Press for more testimony and point out the physical discrepancies that come from that.

Of note, if the crime takes place in Khura'in, then the Divination Seance may screw 47 over. He's had entire conversations with targets before killing them, after all, so it could catch him right there if he's not more careful than usual.

That said, Khura'in by itself doesn't have nearly the presence or resources to catch 47 on the follow through unless he stays relatively close by geographically, so even with all of Khura'in's investigative abilities focusing him, 47 should escape afterwards just fine.

Unless you count Apollo bringing in Phoenix to bring in Edgeworth and Interpol, Apollo just doesn't have the right deck to play with 47. 7/10 because Divination Seance and death aura might get 47 in Khura'in though.

Athena Cykes

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Athena basically hard counters 47.

A seemingly emotionless assassin whose a master of disguise. Think I've heard that one before....

That said, 47 isn't just Phantom 2. He does actually have emotions. He just buries them deeeeeeeep in there.

Honestly, 47 is a massive trauma magnet with a lot of damage upstairs. He was genetically designed to be an assassin from the ground up, waa abused all his childhood in an attempt to purge all emotion and empathy from him, had to witness the first family he ever had he shot and killed in front of him to "teach him a lesson", was drugged into believing he killed his best friend and brother for years, and now has to live with the fact that he killed the parents of the one person left in the world that he cares about. Just... that's rough buddy.

Yeah, Athena would hear nothing when 47 talks about the murder and hear a biiiiiiiig blip when someone says the name Diana or Lucas and that's a big give away.

Could Athena talk him into giving up his career? That's a big if. 47's been kicking the can around in his head for awhile and he always comes back to "killing bad people is the one thing I enjoy in life" so... I'm not optimistic.

She also has no way of actually apprehending him, with none of Apollo's or Phoenix's resources (beyond having them in speed dial, at least).

That said, she'd shake him to his core in the way the other two could never. He'd come out respecting Apollo and Nick but shaken by Athena and that's a big win.

All of them:

Combine all those advantages and what do ya get?

That's a conviction several years in the making, my friend.

#ace attorney #hitman #agent 47 #phoenix wright #apollo justice #athena cykes #diana burnwood

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zzoguri · 10 months

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[part two] of boundaries and secret glances (i'm lucky to be loved by you) ➵ kim sunwoo

idol!kim sunwoo x ex-idol!reader

as a well-respected independent producer in the industry, you get requests from different companies for collaborations. when you accept to work on chanhee and sunwoo's unit track for their upcoming album, you are left to your own devices as you work closely with sunwoo. who is to say what can happen over the days?

genre/warnings ➵ strangers to friends to lovers (though sunwoo has always had a crush on you since your debut), music and lyrics au, fluff, angst with happy ending, afab reader (they/them pronouns), drinking, kpop mistreatment, mental and physical abuse done by companies, close proximity, sunwoo is a FLIRT!!! and also obsessed with you, LOONA IS FREE HERE!!!, iz*one sadly does not exist </3, boundaries are definitely crossed in the sense that you should not be flirting this much with a co-worker turned friend, slight suggestive content at the end

word count ➵ 14.6k words (30.3k words in total)

parts ➵ [1] [2]

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet

a/n ➵ thank you for taking time to read the second part! please note that idols shown or talked about in this fic are not meant to reflect my real thoughts on them. i love all the idols here in this fic. i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

It has been a week since your fight with Sunwoo. Soeun chose to defer her employment with IST for another two weeks until she can get her hands on someone to take her job under you. To be clear, you did not care about how Mr. Yoon attempted to screw you over. In fact, you were used to it and trained yourself to not think too much about it.

What bothered you about everything was how Sunwoo seemed to turn his back on you so quickly. Despite all the late nights and moments spent in close proximity, the friendship proved itself to be weak in the face of adversity. You guess Sunwoo needed more from you to truly think of you as a friend.

Now, you were seated in Sunwoo’s favorite Japanese restaurant which had turned into your favorite as well. You were only there for the sushi to patch the wounds that he inflicted on you; food cures everything. Yet, when Hikaru offered a bottle of sake for free, you could not deny her request.

A bottle of sake turned into two and a half, and you were officially drunk. You realize that sushi is not the most filling food to eat before you drink. As you stayed seated and slouched on your table around 1 AM, you were left with your thoughts as Hikaru stayed with you.

“Hikaru, I don’t know what happened,” You slur which has Hikaru letting out a hum.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I… I don’t know what happened between me and Sunwoo,” You say as you finally sit up straight.

“Something happened between you two?”

You hiccup and take a moment to make sure you do not vomit. Before you could respond, you heard the bells ring. Once the mystery person made their way to you, you showed a lazy smile.

“Sunwoo!” The person in question sighs as he scratches his head.

“Thank you, Hikaru, for calling me. I’ll take care of them from here.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know something happened between you two.” As Sunwoo walks to you, you raise your arms.

“Carry me you asshole!” Despite the sting of your words, the way you exclaimed it was merrily. Sunwoo sighs, faces away from you, and crouches down.

“Get on my back.” You gladly accept his offer and wrap your arms around his shoulders, jumping on his back. The moment he stands up, you stumble but he holds on you tightly.

“Again, I’m sorry about this Hikaru. Do I have to pay for anything? Please send the receipt to the dorm if necessary,” Sunwoo tells Hikaru, making her shake her head.

“No, it’s okay. Just take care of Y/N. Do you need help?”

“I’ll be fine. Thank you!” With that, Sunwoo exits with you on his back.

As he was walking back to your place with you on his back, you were resting your cheek on the back of his head. In fact, you were mumbling something that he could not quite catch.

“Hmm? Y/N, did you say something?”

“Why…” The rest of your words turned into incoherent nonsense that Sunwoo was not sure if he should ask you to say again considering your state.

“Y/N, I couldn’t hear you.”

“Why do you not like me?”

That has Sunwoo stopped in his tracks. As he continued to carry you on his back, he looked at the path in front of him as you continued to mumble.

“Sunwoo,” You hiccup. “What happened to us? Do you not like me?”

Sunwoo’s heart ached at your words. He did not know how to reassure you that he enjoys everything about you, especially in your current state. In fact, it would be no use. With that, he continued to walk with you on his back.

The journey back to your place gave you enough time to rest and sober up somehow. As you gained a clearer conscience, you realized how having Sunwoo carry you on his back was terrible for you. There was no way you could live this down. Yet, you allow yourself to snuggle into him as you take in his smell.

Sunwoo smells of jasmine and rose. The scent of berry lingers on his hair along with the smell of laundry that clings onto his clothes. As you breathe him in, you realize how comforting his presence is in your life.

Once you two finally reached your place, he attempts to wake you up as he thinks you were asleep

“Hey, we’re here.”

As you got off his back, you look away and attempt to make your way to the door. Sunwoo grabs your hand before you could do so and spins you to face him. What he did not expect was to see tears falling down your face.

“Y/N, I’m–”

“Sunwoo, what did I do wrong? Did you not think of me as a friend?”

“What? No, I–” You attempt to shrug his hand off your wrist but fail.

“Let me go,” You say as more tears continue to fall down.

“No, I won’t.”

“Sunwoo, let me go.”

Greeted with no response as his grip remains firm, you attempt to shrug it off once more. Without any success, you start to sob even harder.

“Please, let me go!” Your sobs were even louder, your body shaking as your throat started to strain.

“Y/N, I can’t. I care about you.”

“No, you don’t! If you did, you would have never asked me to take that offer!” You argue back as you look at him straight into his eyes.

“Y/N–”

“Sunwoo, please! The longer you hold onto me, the more confused I get about our relationship. Like, what are we? Friends? Enemies? Strangers who want to flirt? What are we?! It’s so hard to understand you after everything!”

With that, Sunwoo pulls you into his chest and hugs you. As you continue to sob and hit your hands on his chest, he continues to hold you despite everything.

You wish he never bothered to be friends with you. Why could you two not remain colleagues? Why did Sunwoo have to reach out to you and leave you with a broken heart?

It took you a few minutes until your wailing started to calm down. As you start to get exhausted from crying, your arms began to grow tired while your throat started to ache. At that moment, you do not do anything as Sunwoo continues to hold you in his arms.

The moment he lets go of you, he caresses your face so that you could look straight into his eyes. Your bloodshot eyes along with tear-stained cheeks became a painful sight he could not bear to look at, especially knowing he was the cause of this. Despite everything, you saw how his eyes continued to hold the entire universe.

“Y/N, I need to say this to you right now because I’m scared you’ll go back to sleep thinking all of this.”

“I–”

“No, Y/N. Hear me out just this once, please?” Before you could say anything, he went on.

“Y/N, I have always thought of you as a friend. In fact, I regarded you as the one person I wanted to continue spending time with. Maybe it’s because our friendship is so fresh, but I loved every moment I got to have with you.” Sunwoo draws patterns on your cheek with his thumb. “Whether it would be in the studio as we worked in comfortable silence or in my favorite Japanese restaurant that turned into your favorite as well, every single moment is precious because it had you in it.”

“Sure, I was ecstatic to know that I would be spending time with my celebrity crush, but I learned more about you the more we continued to work together. Did you know that I fall asleep to the thought of spending more time–no, that I fall asleep to the thought of you? Everywhere I go at any moment, I always think about you; I wonder how you are today; I hope you got to eat well today; I wonder what other things you can reveal that can keep me absolutely hooked on you.”

“Y/N, I don’t think you realize just how precious you are in everyone’s lives. If you think I never saw you as a friend, well I need to tell you otherwise. I appreciate everything about you—your place in my life has become a comforting presence that I cannot imagine without. In the short period of time we got to know each other, I learned more about you outside of the idol persona I was infatuated with then.”

As your drunken brain tries to process, your mouth parts open.

“I… I don’t get it, Sunwoo. What are you trying to say?”

With that, Sunwoo lets out a sigh as he closes his eyes and loosens his hold on your face. As you continue to stare at him, he has no idea what to say. It was silent for a moment.

“Chanhee and I talked to Jihoon. We’re trying to negotiate again with our CEO.” You were left in shock.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen but I’m trying to fix it, okay? Hyung just informed Soeun just today, and we’re trying. I don’t want to discuss the details now because I want you to be in a sober state to fully discuss it with you. But I just want you to know I’m doing everything possible to fix this. You do not deserve to be fucked over again—you deserve better,” Sunwoo continues.

The guy who betrayed you was doing all of this for you? It felt surreal that Sunwoo would go to these lengths to right this situation. Maybe it is because you thought that your relationship with him was built on nothing but shameless flirting, but he continues to prove you wrong—you’re so glad he does.

Before you could say anything, Sunwoo says, “I’ll see you when you’re sober, okay?” With that, he engulfs you in a hug.

And he whispers, “Y/N, I miss you. Just let me know when you’re ready to talk.”

With that, Sunwoo nuzzles his face into the top of your head. And before you know it, he gives you a small kiss on the crown of your forehead. Your eyes were closed as his lips linger. The warmth of his lips felt like a blanket you would wrap yourself with when the storm came. You could only wish it could remain like this.

He finally lets go of you and lets his hand hover over your cheek. As you looked up to the guy who had singlehandedly given you warmth and heartache over the weeks, you still wish nothing but happiness for him. It’s not that you lacked respect for yourself for what he did—it’s that Sunwoo still deserves all that is good in the world no matter what you may feel.

Sunwoo drops his hand back to his side and gives a small smile before he decides to walk away. As you stay rooted in place, you watch his figure become smaller as he continues to walk. But before you decide to go back into your house, Sunwoo looks back at you.

“I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. But I would never hold it against you if you couldn’t.”

It’s been a few days since your last encounter with Sunwoo. Currently, you were in your office going through your emails (which surprised Soeun—even yourself). As you were considering denying all of the requests from these different companies, Soeun continued to give you a rundown of what Jihoon told her regarding the negotiation process.

“Jihoon says that since the anticipated comeback day is coming closer, the situation works in our favor. He mentioned that they haven’t found the right producer to work on Chanhee and Sunwoo’s track. That means that with the tight schedule, their company may reconsider what you produced as the final track.”

You only let out a hum as you continue to scroll through countless emails.

“Hey, look at me,” She says as she snaps her fingers to grab your attention.

As your eyes rip away from the screen, you look at Soeun who had a frown on her face. Clearly, she knew something was up considering your behavior that night with Sunwoo.

“Y/N, I know you are an independent artist but you still need to be careful about what you do. You are a well-respected artist in the industry and we cannot do anything to risk that! Y/N, you are free to go drink out and whatnot but you can’t just drink in public alone! Imagine if people saw you, let alone see you get picked up by Sunwoo! Remember how Keeho and Intak were caught in the club? Or even Taehyun?”

You understood where Soeun was coming from because she is right. It was completely stupid on your end. It was bad enough that you had to sustain yourself as an independent artist. It would be even worse if the public commented on your irrational public drinking behavior.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

“I sure hope you know!” Her voice raises which you flinch at. Soeun notices the way you react and closes her eyes in an attempt to calm herself down.

“I’m… sorry for the way I’m reacting. Y/N, I know I’m going to work in IST soon enough, but I’m still your manager and friend. I’m trying to look out for you,” She says with her eyes open as she takes a seat in front of you.

“And in my attempt to look out for you, I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me what’s on your mind.”

As she says those words, you lean your head back and look up at the ceiling. No matter how long you and Soeun have been together, you always found it hard to be vulnerable. It is not her fault but yours.

“Soeun, I don’t know. I’m just so lost in what I’m feeling and I–it’s all so confusing, you know? Like–oh my god, why is it so hard to vocalize my thoughts?” You let out a small laugh as you pick on your nails.

“It’s okay, take your time. You always know I’m here to listen, just say whatever comes to mind.”

So you talked, and it went on for hours. The best thing about talking to Soeun is that you always felt understood by her from how she responds to how she reacts. There really is no friend like Soeun—one who is willing to go to all lengths for your happiness and safety.

“Y/N, would you ever find it within yourself to forgive him? I mean, I don’t think I would,” She says, which makes you chuckle.

“The weirdest thing is that I would have never forgiven anyone for that. I mean, I opened up to Sunwoo about my own trauma only for him to completely disregard it.”

And it is true. Sunwoo should not deserve your forgiveness—just like how JYP Entertainment, Stone Entertainment, and IST Entertainment do not deserve it as well. To be treated as a tool that people can use at their own will to only benefit themselves is something no one should ever experience. You decided that you do deserve to be respected. So why do you find it in your heart to want to forgive him?

“I just find it crazy that I cannot bring myself to forgive these entertainment companies but for Sunwoo, I would. Call me infatuated or too up into my delusions, but all the days I’ve spent with him have only shown me a guy with a heart of gold and pure intentions to not only protect but to love immensely. Like, that’s just the type of guy he is! And this comes from someone who is always cynical about men.”

Soeun laughs, caresses your hand, and says, “No, you’re right. I’ve known you for how long and I have never seen you actually consider forgiving a man just like that.”

As you looked down at your intertwined hands, you could only sigh.

“Soeun, am I wrong for wanting to forgive him?” You ask as you look up to her.

With that, silence enters the room. As you wait for Soeun’s answer, anxiety starts to pool in your stomach. You did not want to come off as easy for wanting to forgive the guy who brought joy and sorrow within the past weeks.

“Y/N, wanting to forgive shows just how strong you are. Many people may disagree and say that you’re in the wrong for wanting to forgive him, but I believe that it just shows more of the Y/N I know. You’ve been wronged by so many people but I never see you use that as an excuse to treat people shitty, and that’s what I love about you. That’s why I always say you need to be kinder to yourself and give yourself more credit for all that you do.”

You felt yourself pout at what Soeun said. “Soeun, you’re going to make me sad!” She only laughs.

“I’m right though! I think even your fans would think the same, and I’m sure Sunwoo does.”

You press your tongue against the inside of your cheek as you think about her words. Instead of saying anything, you let go of Soeun’s hand and grab your phone. Once you typed out your message, you gave it one more read and sent it.

It is 2:36 PM. You were seated in one of your favorite cafes that you would frequent back when you were still in 1CON. As you take a sip from your cup of earl grey tea, you scroll aimlessly through your Instagram.

“Y/N-ah!” You look up to see Jiwoo and Heejin whose smiles lit up the whole room.

Whenever you feel lost, you always find yourself going to these two. They were the ones you relied on the most back in your Produce 101 and 1CON days. Maybe it was due to being in the same unit groups during the competition or being roommates when you were still in 1CON that made you three grow closer. Nonetheless, you were happy that your friendship with them continues to last past disbandment.

“Heejin and Jiwoo! Thank you for meeting with me,” You say as you stand up and give the two a hug.

“Heejin-ah, I’ll get us our drinks. You stay with Y/N,” Jiwoo says as she makes her way to the cashier.

“Y/N, I have a feeling that I know why you called us,” Heejin says with a small smile as you two take a seat.

“Yeah, shocker,” You joke in hopes to lighten up the mood.

“Don’t worry about it. I get it, men truly are something.”

“They really are! I can’t believe I’m letting a man do this to me.”

Before Heejin can respond, Jiwoo comes to you two with some drinks and pastries.

“Here you go, Heejin! Let me just settle down and you can spill on Sunwoo,” She says excitedly which makes you chuckle.

With that, you explain to the two your whole situation with Sunwoo from the start to current. As you talked about the close proximity and all the other actions that transpired between you two, you could see Heejin and Jiwoo squeal.

“Yah! I never knew that all of this happened between you two! You downplay it or leave out so many details in your messages,” Jiwoo scolds you.

“I know, my bad. It’s just, it still feels weird to think that this all happened. But going back, my dilemma still remains. I don’t know what to feel about Sunwoo.”

Heejin scoffs and says, “Do you really not know what to feel about him or are you seeking some kind of external validation?”

“Hey! I mean, I’m both?” You shyly admit.

At first, Heejin and Jiwoo look at each other. A part of you had a feeling that they came prepared with whatever they wanted to say beforehand. With that, they look at you and give you a piece of their minds.

“Y/N, you should just talk to him,” Jiwoo starts off.

“I think it’s all hard to say whether you should forgive him or not if you don’t actually hear him out, you know?” Heejin takes a sip from her cold brew. “And I know that you’re the type of person who wants to come to these situations with a clear understanding of what to do, but it’s not fair for him. In no way am I trying to defend this guy’s actions because it is still pretty shitty and I would scold him. However, I think that your decision to forgive him or not will only be clearer if you talk to him.”

“I agree. If you come in there with a clear and strict decision of forgiving him or not means you don’t want to hear what he has to say. Plus, I do think it’s good on his end that he’s trying to make up for his behavior by trying to negotiate with his own agency. Everyone knows how hard it is for idols to stand up against their own companies—we would know out of all people would know,” Jiwoo points out.

Both of them made sense in what they were saying. If anything, you were starting to understand how important it is to have a talk with Sunwoo.

“So, I’m not wrong for wanting to forgive him?” You ask as you seek validation.

Jiwoo sighs. “You’re not wrong for wanting to hear him out. To hear out the person who betrayed you in hopes to understand and possibly forgive them speaks so much of your character, Y/N.”

“You know, you really are too good for this world. In other instances, I would have told you to ghost this guy and go on with your life.” You laugh at Heejin’s words. “Yet, the way you talk about Sunwoo and all the good things he’s done for you makes me hope that it all goes out well. You’re the one person I trust when it comes to forgiveness—you know that you deserve respect. Of course, you still need to work on acknowledging your achievements,” Heejin continues making you gasp.

“Hey! Soeun won’t get off my back on that, you know?”

“Yeah because it’s true and something you need to focus on,” Jiwoo argues and smacks your arm.

“You work too much!” Heejin exclaims.

“Heejin, I have to work or I’m going to be broke. Being an independent artist is hard,” You point out.

“We get it. I mean, you’re talking to us out of all people!”

Your group bursts into giggles. It is crazy to think that you three had to undergo mistreatment that scarred your lives. In no way was it right but it is something you three trauma bond over.

“So, what are you going to do?” Jiwoo finally asks.

Instead of answering, you grab your phone and message the man who you needed to hear from.

Sunwoo was not focused during his dance practice. If anything, he has been unfocused since you first stormed out of the building that one day. Of course, he tried to do anything that would help him get his mind on track. However, with the comeback date approaching and no clear future for his and Chanhee’s track, he has been stressed out. It did not help that he missed your presence the most.

“Yo, Sunwoo? You good?” Kevin snaps Sunwoo out of his trance.

“Huh? Oh yeah, sorry.”

Everyone in the group knew that Sunwoo was not his usual self. With the stress of the comeback and his argument with you, many of the members noticed how scatterbrained he has been. Although Chanhee and Changmin made an attempt to talk to him about it, he always shut them down. This is why when Sunwoo approached Chanhee with the idea of talking to Jihoon, Chanhee was shocked about his best friend talking about you after so long.

Jihoon says that he is getting close to sealing the deal with Mr. Yoon. However, he requested to have a meeting with Sunwoo and Chanhee to hear the request from them. With the meeting happening in three days, Sunwoo found himself ridden with anxiety.

There are so many ways in which the meeting could play out; Mr. Yoon easily agrees with their negotiation and has Y/N’s work as the final track; he denies the request and pushes back the unit song for the next comeback instead; or, Sunwoo could lose his job. Everything about this situation stressed him out, but he knew that it was something that needed to be done.

“Okay everyone, let’s stay focused. We have so many segments to fix on,” Sangyeon calls everyone’s attention.

“Sangyeon’s right. Sunwoo, we really need your help here,” Changmin hated to say that to his best friend knowing fully well of the situation, but the time constraints were putting pressure on everyone.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry everyone,” Sunwoo apologizes as he rubs his eyes in frustration.

“Hey, let’s cut some slack for Sunwoo. He’s going through a lot,” Eric attempts to defend his best friend.

“Yeah, but if we don’t show Jihoon hyung anything good, we’ll be scolded,” Hyunjae explains.

“But you guys know that Sunwoo hasn’t been sleeping well since his fight with Y/N,” Chanhee chimes in.

“I know that, but remember when we delivered a bad performance to Sunghoon?” Juyeon shares which made the chatter stop.

The mention of their old manager brings the group into silence. Everyone’s experiences were different, but all would agree Sunghoon has single-handedly traumatized the members. Through insults, invasion of privacy, and gaslighting, many members of the group felt unsafe with him.

“Hey, don’t think about him. We’re safe now, okay?” Sangyeon says before anyone could continue spiraling down into memory lane.

“I’m sure Jihoon hyung will understand, but we still need to present something that would fulfill the standards of the company,” He continues as he stretches his shoulder.

Before anyone could say anything, the door of the practice room opens and reveals Jihoon and Jongseob, their choreography teacher.

“Speak of the devil! We were just talking about you, hyung,” Kevin exclaims with a smile on his face.

“Oh, talking about me? I hope you’re not planning to find a way to sneak out of the dorm again,” Jihoon jokes.

“To be fair, Hyunjae and Younghoon dragged us with them!” Jacob tries to defend him and Kevin while Jihoon only laughs.

“How’s the practice? I thought it would be good to leave you guys to work by yourselves,” Jongseob asks the group.

No one answers.

“I’m assuming that you’re still struggling.”

“Hyung, I think we’re getting stressed by the lack of time and progress,” Changmin pouts.

“And that’s why I’m here to help! Let’s try to refine up to the 2nd verse and work on the rest tomorrow, okay?” Jongseob asks which has the group scream out in happiness.

“Can I speak to Sunwoo first?” Jihoon asks.

Sunwoo only nods and walks out of the practice room with Jihoon. He continues to follow Jihoon until they reach an empty recording studio. Once the two entered, they made their way to the black couch that stood at the end of the room and sat down.

The thing is that Sunwoo is nervous. The name of Sunghoon being mentioned brought him memories he wished he could forget. So to be seated alone with Jihoon only rid him of anxiety.

Sunwoo did not have it in him to share what he went through with anyone. So when Y/N asked him back then what his experience is like with The Boyz, he purposely omitted it. It is not that he did not trust Y/N but more that it was hard for him to ever have to vocalize his own experiences with Sunghoon that almost pushed him to leave the group.

“Hey, Sunwoo? Are you okay?” Jihoon snaps Sunwoo out of his trance.

“What? I’m sorry. I’m okay, hyung,” Sunwoo says with a quick smile as a cover-up.

Jihoon only frowns and says, “Sunwoo-ah, I know you well enough to see that you’re upset about something. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it but you don’t need to lie to me.”

Sunwoo shakes his head and lets out a sigh.

“I’m sorry, hyung. It’s just that I’ve been so lost with… everything, really,” Sunwoo attempts to joke as he lets out a chuckle.

“No, I get it. With what you’re going through with Y/N, the comeback date coming soon, and your upcoming meeting with Mr. Yoon, I would be surprised if you weren’t stressed.”

“Yeah but… I’m trying to deal with it.”

“And you know that you don’t have to deal with it alone, right?” Jihoon is only met with silence.

“Sunwoo, you are a very talented guy whose charisma manages to bring up everyone’s mood. You somehow–no wait, you are the life of the party for many and the shoulder to cry on for others. So you should know that whenever the burden is too hard to carry, you have people you can rely on—me, your members, Y/N even.”

Sunwoo only sighs as he plays with his hands. “I know, you’re right. I think it’s just weird to still be open about anything.”

“Hey, I understand. I mean, I get that it would be weird to be open with your manager but I always want you to know that I am not like Sunghoon,” Jihoon tries to make a point by holding onto Sunwoo’s hands.

“I’m sorry to bring his name up but I know the damage he’s inflicted upon you guys mentally and physically. Every day, I still see how his memory continues to live with you guys from the way you function during comeback season to the way you treat yourselves. So when I look at you now, I feel the need to reiterate it.”

Sunwoo cannot help but smile at Jihoon. One of the things that Sunwoo appreciates about Jihoon is that he has always been attentive to the needs of the group. From food cravings to fatigue levels, Jihoon always found ways to make sure every member was heard and understood.

“Thank you, Jihoon hyung. It means a lot. You do so much for us and I hope you know how much we appreciate you,” Sunwoo says, which earns a smile from Jihoon.

“I know that even if you guys tend to mess around or sneak out of the dorm every once in a while.” The two burst into laughter.

“Well, I just wanted you to know that. Now, the reason I called you here is to talk to you about more details about what to expect from the meeting.” Sunwoo nods. “Thankfully, Soeun and I discussed thoroughly the details and what might help with the negotiation pushing through. Thankfully, I will be in the meeting to help so you don’t have to worry too much. I do think you and Chanhee need to prepare a good and rational explanation as to why they should accept Y/N’s work as the final track and I can deal with all the technical details such as dates and whatnot. I’ll send you a proper message later tonight.”

Sunwoo nods firmly and shows Jihoon a smile. Before he could say anything, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. As he takes it out to see the notification, he is surprised to see a message from you. As he gasps, Jihoon could only guess what has Sunwoo in such a reaction.

“I am guessing that you have somewhere to be.” Sunwoo shoots Jihoon a smile and hugs him briefly.

“Thank you, hyung! I’ll see you later,” He says as he stands up and quickly makes his way to the door.

“Yah, don’t forget you need to be in the dorm by 9 PM latest!”

It is 4:21 PM. You were seated in the same cafe where you met up with Heejin and Jiwoo. You decided to get a chai latte to accompany your book. Although you tried to read the pages of Crying in H Mart, you could not keep your mind off of your upcoming meeting with Sunwoo.

You decide to grab your phone and look back at your conversation with Sunwoo.

y/n: are you free to meet?

zzoguri 🦝: of course! i can meet you around 4:30?

zzoguri 🦝: where should i meet you :]

y/n: there’s actually a cafe i frequent that’s near my place. it’s called milk and roasters

y/n: i can send you the google maps details if you need it

zzoguri 🦝: it’s okay i found it. i’ll see you :]]

As you continue to look down at the conversation that took place hours ago, you start to feel anxiety pool at the bottom of your stomach. Although you are the type of person who stands their ground and likes to hear people out, you cannot deny that you were the anxious type. Your tendency to overthink always brought you to hypothetical situations you never wanted to experience.

This is why you never noticed that Sunwoo entered the cafe as you continued to stare down at your phone.

“Hey.”

You felt yourself jump in your seat at Sunwoo’s sudden voice. As you look up at him, you notice a sheepish smile plastered on his face.

“Jesus! Sunwoo, you scared me.”

“To be fair, I wanted to see if you really were easy to scare like I’ve seen in the old 1CON vlogs,” He says as he takes a seat across from you.

“Oh god, you really watched those? I was such a baby then.”

“Of course I did! You were my number one pick—you still are.” You could only roll your eyes at Sunwoo.

“Plus, Haknyeon did mention you’re my celebrity crush,” He continues as he looks out the window.

You only giggle and say, “I can’t believe that getting me to work on your unit track was just a ploy for you to meet your celebrity crush.”

Sunwoo was about to protest but no words left his mouth. “Yeah, it really was.”

You try to hide the smile forming on your face by taking a sip of your chai latte (though you are not sure if you were blushing). Once you put your phone and book away, you look right at the boy seated across you.

“I’m ready to listen regarding the negotiation.”

Sunwoo lets out a sigh at first to prepare what he was going to say. Although he spent his time drafting a flow of what he would say on the way to you, he was scared that he would fuck this up.

“Ever since our, you know… fight, I’ve been trying to find a way to make this all right. I thought I could just apologize but I knew it wouldn’t be enough.” Sunwoo tongues the inside of his cheek. “I mean, I basically asked you to give your work as a demo despite knowing all the times your old companies didn’t credit you for your work—let alone properly pay you for it. That’s why I talked with Chanhee about negotiating again and he was open to the idea.”

“We eventually found ourselves talking to Jihoon hyung and one thing led to another. We’re trying to push for your work to be the final track for many reasons; there’s not enough time to outsource another producer who would deliver a track within the projected internal deadline; it would be impossible for me and Chanhee to squeeze in enough time to work with a new producer since we’re focused on our comeback performances; and it’s also not fair to you—above all reasons, that is the one that I find important to address.”

Sunwoo takes a deep breath. “Y/N, I’m sorry for ever asking you to do something that would only have you relive your trauma or create room for more disrespect directed towards you. When I looked back at our conversations about your time in JYP and Stone Music Entertainment, I only realized after our fight what I was asking you to do. You do not deserve to be forced to relive your trauma. So above everything, I’m sorry.”

You are silent for a moment as you process his words.

“Sunwoo, so why did you ask for me to accept the deal then?” He lets out a sigh at your question.

“I… don’t know,” He admits. “I know, that sounds so shitty but I really don’t know what was on my mind to push you into the deal. I think I wanted to believe that they wouldn’t make any significant changes to your work; I just wanted to rap to the song you produced,” He trails off.

“But also, I think a part of me was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“I… I think I was scared of how Jihoon hyung and Mr. Yoon would react if you denied the deal. I–this isn’t about me, sorry. Just know that it was wrong on my end; I’m doing all that I can to fix this,” Sunwoo answers as he looks down at his crossed arms that rested on the table.

You do not know what came to you, but you found yourself reaching out to Sunwoo’s arm. As you rested your hand there, he looked up at you with eyes filled with guilt.

“Sunwoo, it’s okay. You can tell me—this is also about you as much as it is about me.”

At first, Sunwoo was hesitant to share with you something so traumatic and personal to him. He hates to vocalize any experience related to Sunghoon. Yet, the moment you showed your smile that filled him with warmth without fail, that is when he knew it was time to tell you.

“A part of me would think that I would have to carry the blame or the burden if you denied the deal,” Sunwoo starts off. “I felt as if I would have to be in charge to clean up the mess. I mean, I was the one who pushed for you to be the producer for the unit track. It made me think that if we didn’t get to use your work, I would need to do all the work once again. But most of all, I was scared that I would get scolded by the company.”

Sunwoo sighs. “Y/N, remember that conversation we had when we were at the convenience store? The one where you asked me what it’s like to be in The Boyz?” You only nod.

“I know I mentioned that the scolding was the worst of it all and… it’s because of what the group had to go through back then.” You found yourself slowly rubbing his arm in hopes to comfort him.

Sunwoo sucks in a breath.

“We had a manager before Jihoon; his name is Sunghoon. He was our manager back in our pre-debut to freshly debuted days. At first, Sunghoon was a great manager. I mean, he took care of us and defended us on most occasions. If anything, we trusted him so much with so many secrets.”

“But something flipped in him—or maybe he was just always a bad person and we never noticed. At first, he would manipulate us into thinking we were too fat or we lacked so much skill that it would cost our debut.” Sunwoo found himself shuddering at the memories. “At one point, I remember that he made Changmin believe that it would be impossible for him to improve in singing. Changmin took that to heart because he only had dancing. He knew that if he didn’t show any improvement, he would be kicked out of the group.”

Sunwoo closed his eyes. “I think one of the worst things I underwent is the physical and mental exhaustion he would subject me to.”

“Out of all the members, he expected me to be the perfect dancer—the one to get the choreography and perform it exquisitely within the first days of learning it.” Sunwoo shakes his head. “But for some reason, he made me believe that all the times I would slip up were the main reasons why I was holding the group back. Although the group tried to tell me that I was one of the best dancers and it was fine for me to make some mistakes, I started to believe that I was at fault if I wasn’t doing anything perfectly.”

“It started to reach a point where Sunghoon would force me to stay late in the practice rooms alone and he would force me to perform the same choreography until I got it perfectly. The other members said it was weird that only I was being subjected to that but the others had other mistreatments they were being put through; Haknyeon was put through inhumane diets; Juyeon and Changmin were forced to sing until their vocal cords would strain; Kevin and Jacob would not be allowed to talk to their family back in Canada; and so much more.”

The more Sunwoo shares his story, the more your heart would ache for him. It was not right that he had to go through such a traumatic experience in the same way that you should not have been discredited for your creative works. It is not right that so many trainees and idols are continuously subjected to mistreatment as if they are only tools for the success of these companies.

“No matter how many times Sangyeon tried to talk to Mr. Yoon, he would not believe us. And somehow, Sunghoon always found out whenever Sangyeon tried to talk. The–god, the physical abuse I had to see Sangyeon undergo was terrible. I think he had it worst out of all of us.” Sunwoo bites his lip.

You wish you knew what to say when you heard Sunwoo’s story, but his experience is something you do not think you had a place to comment on. All you could do is hold onto his arm—only caress him in a way that you wish could heal him of all wounds.

“Somehow, we managed to get our families involved. It was risky since we had no contact with them because of Sunghoon, but Hyunjae found a way. It only helped that some of us were still minors when we debuted. Mr. Yoon finally listened once our families got involved and we never saw Sunghoon again.”

“But the worst of it all is that no one knows what happened to us publicly. We weren’t allowed to talk about it outside of the group—even our families weren’t allowed.”

For a moment, silence comes to you two.

He sighs. “I don’t know what Sunghoon is doing now; many of us pressed charges against him but he quickly solved it. So while he continues to walk around, I’m here still picking up the pieces. I feel at fault for everything that doesn’t go the way we had planned out—just like how Sunghoon made me believe that any mistake I committed held back everyone.”

You do not say anything. In situations like these, you think it is best to just listen until the person speaking gives you a clear indication to talk.

As Sunwoo continues to look down at your hand that rested on his arm, he felt a sense of warmth fill him. And you least expect it when he grabs a hold of it and intertwines his fingers.

“Y/N, I want you to know that you do mean the world to me, and I’m sorry that I ever treated you like that.” His eyes are filled with guilt as he says those words. “But I feel even more sorry knowing that you started to doubt our friendship just because of my actions. So I meant every word I said that night when I brought you back home, and all others during the time we spent together,” He speaks as he draws circles with his thumb on the back of your hand.

It felt so nice to be cared for by Sunwoo—you could only imagine how it would feel to be loved by him.

“Sunwoo, I forgive you and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” You give him a small smile. “You don’t have to be sorry for ever keeping that memory to yourself; I would’ve done the same. Typically, people would just apologize or even go on with their days. You though… you went to such great lengths to fix all of this, and I’m forever thankful for you.” You take a look at your interwoven hands. “So I want to at least tell you… thank you for this, and I always want you to know I’m here for you every step of the way.”

Sunwoo cannot help but smile at your words. “You’re too good to me.”

“I think you’re talking about yourself,” You giggle.

Sunwoo was seated across from Mr. Yoon with Chanhee and Jihoon by his side. He still could not believe the day had come. He has had numerous discussions with Chanhee and Jihoon about what needs to be said. With the pressure of comeback day coming, the uncertainty of the NEWSUN track, and your overall happiness, he knew he had to do anything possible to have Mr. Yoon agree to the negotiation.

“Hello everyone. You have called this meeting to hold a negotiation regarding the NEWSUN unit song and to discuss our last encounter with Y/N,” Mr. Yoon starts off.

“Yes sir, I will have the boys speak first and I will present the technical data after,” Jihoon responds.

Chanhee sucks a breath in. “When Sunwoo and I were conceptualizing what we wanted from this track, we wanted to ensure a performance that captured our charms, capabilities, and message we wish to convey. It took months for us to truly decide on what type of song we wanted but we were always certain to have Y/N produce the final track from the start. It is our dream to work with them—let alone meet them. With that, both Sunwoo and I were happy to see the final product of the track that we believe fulfills the standards of the company, especially under the supervision of Jihoon hyung.”

“Although you wish to have Y/N’s work as a demo, both parties previously agreed to their work acting as the final track with only minimal edits if necessary. However, with them unaware of the change in the contract, we lost the perfect track to work with. With this, Chanhee and I agreed that it would be best to discuss with you on what can be done to proceed forward,” Sunwoo says.

Jihoon points his laptop screen to Mr. Yoon with the calendar showcased. “Sir, we have spent around a month working with Y/N as the producer as we were under the impression that their work would act as the final track. However, with your proposed changes of requesting a demo, it was impossible for the team to outsource enough producers willing to agree with the proposed internal deadline.

“Along with this, the group is now at the stage where they are heavily focused on refining their performance for the title track. With the time constraints, both Chanhee and Sunwoo may be unable to work with a new producer to create the track they envisioned. Lastly, it is important to point out that the company luckily got away with this as Y/N is an independent artist with not enough manpower to sue for a breach of contract. Still, it is not right that we amended the details of the contract and did not get a clear understanding of whether they were aware of the changes,” Jihoon continues.

“We ask for you to reconsider having Y/N’s work as the final track as it fulfills the vision of mine and Chanhee’s. Y/N is a well-respected artist in the industry whose tracks ensure success for the artists they work with. Through the number of sales and streams other artists have as seen here…” Jihoon shows a line graph. “... then we can hopefully predict similar results for the group as well.”

Sunwoo hesitates for a second as he gets a good look at Mr. Yoon whose facial expression never faltered. “My time working with Y/N has improved me as an artist as I got to learn from them. Not only that but I believe they are a well-respected partner that the company could keep close contact with. But above everything, Y/N does not deserve the treatment we subjected them to. If anything, it is an honor that we got to work with them.”

Sunwoo takes a second to breathe. “Both Y/N and I have grown closer during our time working, and I would hate to disrespect an artist and friend like them.”

For a moment, the CEO only looks at the three people who sat across from him. Sunwoo knew that Mr. Yoon could do anything he wanted and that they would have no absolute say in it. But for once, he was clinging onto that string of hope that maybe their company has changed and learned to listen to their artists.

“Okay.”

It took a bit for Chanhee, Sunwoo, and Jihoon to register what Mr. Yoon said. However, when he nodded, a smile showed on their faces.

“You are right, Y/N is a well-respected artist who we must keep in close contact with. With the time constraints, I cannot risk pushing back the unit track any further as the marketing materials have already been made. And Jihoon is right, I am lucky enough to have gotten away with this but it doesn’t make it right.” Mr. Yoon sucks a breath in. “So you are right, and I’m sorry for not listening to you. Jihoon, please send an email to Y/N’s manager. Hopefully, they would still allow us to use their work as the final track,” He orders Jihoon.

“Now, get back to work. You better deliver good results for this comeback.”

It is 3:23 PM. You were at home enjoying a bag of chips as you watched The Uncanny Counter on Netflix. Soeun had an emergency to attend to which is why you decided that today would be a good day to not do anything. As you were sprawled over the sofa, you watched So Moon and Do Hana interact on screen.

“Sejeong is so pretty,” You muttered to no one as you continued to snack away.

While you were invested in the show, you were surprised to hear the doorbell ring. You frowned to yourself as you got off the couch. Once you make your way to the front door, you take a look into the peephole to see Sunwoo.

“Shit!” You exclaim quietly as you look down at your clothes; a grey oversized RJ of BT21 shirt and blue checkered shorts.

You can hear Sunwoo’s snicker from the other side of the door.

“Yah, Y/N! I can hear you, let me in.”

“Sunwoo, I am not dressed up!”

“It’s okay, just let me in,” He knocks on the door.

As you get annoyed with his knocks, you give in and swing the door open. A smiley Sunwoo appears by your doorstep (though you did notice his smile getting wider when he saw what you were wearing). You frown at him and take a step to the side to let him in.

You close the door and say, “I did not expect to see you today.”

“Well, I’m here. I just had my meeting with Mr. Yoon.” You felt your lips part open as anxiety started to creep in.

“Oh my god, I thought it would take some more meetings.” For a moment, you felt yourself panic over what news Sunwoo may have brought into the household.

However, Sunwoo still had that stupid smile on his face (something you still greatly love and despise). And you are left shocked by what leaves his mouth. “I sealed the deal. Y/N, your work is now officially the final track of mine and Chanhee’s unit song!”

As soon as he shared the news, you felt yourself jump in happiness and hug Sunwoo. At first, Sunwoo was stiff as he was not expecting you to hug him so suddenly. But the moment you hugged him tighter is when he let himself melt into the hug. His arms went to wrap around your waist and lifted you off the ground slightly.

“Sunwoo, I can’t believe it! You did it!”

Although the negotiation seemed more about you, you believed it to be for Sunwoo. Ever since he told you his story in the cafe a few days ago, you were worried about him confronting his boss. You did not want him to do anything that would ultimately risk his career. And yet, here he stood before you, victorious than ever.

With your arms still wrapped around him and his with yours, you decided to lean a bit backward to look at him properly. “You managed to get the track! Now, you and Chanhee can say that you fulfilled your number one wish.”

Sunwoo chuckles as he looks directly back at you.

“Yeah, I guess so. But Y/N, that’s not my number one wish.” You let out a gasp.

“Kim Sunwoo, you’re saying that working with me is not your number one wish? After Haknyeon had to tell me that I was your celebrity crush?”

Sunwoo rolls his eyes. “How many times do I have to say that you are my celebrity crush?” You only frown at him.

“Haha, stop with the lies.” He shakes his head.

“Well, you better be happy you at least got to get that wish fulfilled—whatever your number one wish may be,” You mutter the last half bitterly which only makes him laugh.

You let go of him and make your way back to the couch in your living room. As you moved aside your bag of chips, Sunwoo took a seat beside you.

“Hey, you don’t want to celebrate this win?” You let out a hum as you were thinking over his question.

“Shouldn’t we be celebrating with Chanhee then?”

“Chanhee has something else he needs to attend to,” He says only for you to pout.

“I miss that guy, you know?”

“Well, we can try to celebrate with him on another day.”

You nod. “Well, what do you have in mind?”

“Honestly, I can only think of eating out as an option.”

You started to think of what other things you and Sunwoo could do. “Oh! What about drinking?”

As you look at him excitedly, he only shakes his head with a small smile on his lips.

“No drinking? Why? Is it because it’s your comeback soon?” You ask.

“No, it isn’t that.”

“Well, what’s wrong with drinking? You hate drinking with me, do you?” You tease only for Sunwoo’s smile to get bigger as he shakes his head once more.

It takes him a moment to speak. “I don’t trust myself with alcohol when I’m around you.”

You felt your eyebrows furrow at the statement. With such an ambiguous statement, you were not sure what to make of he just said.

“Okay… well we can just eat out,” You say as you shut off the television screen.

“Alright.”

“But before anything,” You move closer to him and give him another hug. “Thank you again, and I’m so proud of you.”

It is 3:34 PM. You were in the backstage area where The Boyz will be having their comeback showcase. The group wished to extend an invitation to you to show their appreciation for having you work on Chanhee and Sunwoo’s track. As you tried to peek through the curtains, you noticed how big and spacious the stadium was.

“Y/N-ah, we have to move,” Soeun grabs your attention by tapping your soldier.

As she started to walk, you followed her closely. Every time staff members would pass by you, they would always greet you ecstatically. It still feels surreal that many people recognize you and respect you despite 1CON disbanding two years ago. No matter how washed-out of an artist you try to make yourself out to be, the love and regard you receive from many prove otherwise.

Soeun stops in front of a door that you are unfamiliar with. The moment she knocks, the door swings open to reveal Eric all dressed up in an oversized shirt, fishnets, and leather pants.

“Y/N! It’s so nice to see you here,” He says with a smile and takes a step to the side.

“I’ll see you later. I’m going to meet with Jihoon,” Soeun briefly says before leaving you.

As you take a step inside, you could see Hyunjae, Sangyeon, and Juyeon getting their makeup done. In contrast, Changmin, Chanhee, and Younghoon were busy playing around while Jacob, Haknyeon, and Kevin were on their phones showing each other TikTok videos. All of them were dressed up in clothing that would involve corsets, fishnets, leather, and more.

“Y/N! You’re here!” Haknyeon exclaims.

As everyone greeted you, you could only smile. “Hi everyone, I’m sorry I could not bring you guys anything to congratulate you on your comeback. However, I would like to treat you guys to dinner one day.”

“Ah, thank you! You really don’t need to,” Sangyeon responds.

“Please, I insist. I mean, you gave me an opportunity to participate in this album so it seems only right. I also got to make some new friends through this opportunity.”

Chanhee cannot help but smile. “Y/N, I still cannot believe that we got you to work on the NEWSUN track. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

“Will you be going to the afterparty later?” Kevin asks to which you nod.

Before you could say anything, you notice Sunwoo emerging from the back of the room dressed in a crop top with fishnets under and leather pants. For a moment, you feel your brain blank out at the sight of him (and his abs, though you hate to admit it). But the smile that shows up on his face when he sees you is something you could not help but feel so much warmth from.

“Y/N! I did not expect to see you here in our dressing room,” Sunwoo says as he walks closer to you.

Before you could say anything, he wraps his arms around you and gives you a hug. You felt shy at the sudden action, especially since his other members could see the interaction.

“You came to support me, didn’t you?” Sunwoo says cheekily with a wink to which you only roll your eyes.

“Sunwoo, can’t you just thank me for showing up?”

He only laughs and lets go of you. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“We also have a gift for you,” You spin to look at Juyeon who is not seated in his chair anymore.

You were surprised to see him bring out a signed album of theirs from behind him. “Wow, thank you!”

As he hands you the album, you closely inspect all the signatures on the cover of the album. You notice the smiley faces, the heart, and even a “Thank you, Korea’s Sweetheart Y/N <3” on it. You can only smile.

“If you look through the pages, you might actually find some doodles or notes from us,” Sunwoo shares as he looks over your shoulder.

As you skim through the pages, you can only giggle at the drawings that the members have left. “I hope you didn’t leave any of your drawings here, Sunwoo.”

“Hey, I can draw!” Sunwoo exclaims as you move your head to the side to be able to see him since your back was facing him.

“Whatever you say,” You smirk as you continue to flip through the pages.

Before Sunwoo could argue, Jihoon and Soeun enter the room.

“Ah, I see you’ve given Y/N the album. It would be good to take a picture of you all together and then Sunwoo, Y/N, and Chanhee.”

Everyone collectively agreed to take these photos so you all moved out of the dressing room to take a proper picture. Jihoon held his phone up as you and The Boyz repositioned for the photo. While half of them decided to crouch, the other half of them including yourself remained standing behind them. As you are pushed to the middle of Sunwoo and Changmin, you cannot help but hold the album up so it can be seen in the picture.

“You guys can get a little closer,” Jihoon calls out which has you all squeezing in.

“Perfect! I’ll be taking the picture now.”

“3…” You continued to hold up the album but felt Sunwoo nudging your side.

“2…” His arms start to snake across your waist.

“1…” And he brings you closer to him.

For a moment, you cannot hide the shock that appears on your face. But as you hear the shutter sounds, you quickly cover it up with a smile.

“There we go!” Jihoon says as he looks down at the photo.

“Can we just get Sunwoo, Chanhee, and Y/N?” Soeun asks those who are not part of the picture to step aside.

While Chanhee took his position beside you, Sunwoo’s arm never left your waist. You were hoping that you were not blushing hard enough for the members to notice—let alone Sunwoo. Though you could not help but look over at the other members who seemed to snicker at you two.

“Okay, 3…”

“2…” You felt Sunwoo rest his head on the side of yours.

“1…” All you can do is squint your eyes at his action.

The shutter sounds go off. “Y/N-ah, you’re so cute!” Soeun calls out.

Once you open your eyes, you can see Jihoon smiling in the pictures. “I’ll airdrop these to Soeun.”

“Can I see them?” Chanhee asks.

When Jihoon showed you three the photos, you could see your smile wide as ever and your eyes squinted as Sunwoo's head rested on yours. While Sunwoo opted for a wink, Chanhee chose to give a smile and a peace sign.

“Yah, Kim Sunwoo! Why do you and Y/N make me look like a third-wheeler?” Chanhee complained only for the others to laugh.

“So true, don’t leave out poor Chanhee,” Changmin jokes.

“Hey, I’m not!” Sunwoo tries to defend himself.

The group continues to argue but all you do is watch. The best thing about these guys is that you could really see their love for one another. No matter how many quarrels or (friendly) bullying they decided to put each other through, you knew how much they cared for one another.

“I hate to break the conversation but we really need you guys on stage in 10 minutes,” Jihoon points out.

As the group quickly made their way closer to the stage, Sunwoo stayed back for a bit.

“I will see you later, right? In the afterparty?” He quietly asks.

You nod. “Yeah, good luck.”

The moment you smile at Sunwoo, he feels himself smile as well. And somehow, he was quick enough to give you a kiss on the cheek. As you were left stunned in your place, he could only smile at your reaction.

“I’ll see you later.”

As he left you and made his way closer to the stage, you could not help but melt at the feeling.

“Y/N… did I really just see that?” Soeun asks as she tries to hold back a squeal.

Instead of replying to her, you quickly open the album and flipped through. In the pages, you saw notes from members that talked about some of their fondest memories with each other during the production of this album. You noticed doodles on different members’ faces and messages directed to you all around.

Once you reached the section that discussed the NEWSUN track, you saw messages from Chanhee and Sunwoo. Before you read Chanhee’s, you found your eyes focusing on what Sunwoo had to say:

Hi Y/N!

I still can’t believe that I got to meet my celebrity crush of how many years just because I asked for you to produce it. I want to say thank you for all the time we spent together when we prepared for this track. This track was already personal to me when Chanhee and I spent months figuring this out, but it became even more meaningful when we got you on it.

In the few days we worked together and the following weeks that came, I’ve learned to grow as an artist and as a person because of you. I’m so glad to have you in my life, and I’m thankful to have gotten to know you in all aspects you shared with me.

♥️ Your number one fan forever, Sunwoo

God, you really needed to know what to make of your relationship with Sunwoo.

The showcase was a success. You really enjoyed watching The Boyz not only perform but even interact with the fans. It kind of reminds you of all the other showcases you had with 1CON.

Now, you were being driven by Soeun to the location of the afterparty. You were typing away on your phone as you messaged Heejin and Jiwoo.

chuu chuu 🍎: oh my god y/n!! i thought you would ask what you guys really were before the showcase

heekki 🐰: yeah because didnt we agree on that?? what happened 🤔

y/n: well… i didnt LMFAO 😭 guys im so lost like i cant believe he just kissed me on the cheek infront of SOEUN!!!

heekki 🐰: that’s why you need to talk to him!!

heekki 🐰: it’s been so obvious he’s liked you since he met you

chuu chuu 🍎: i think him saying he can’t be trusted with alcohol when he’s with you just proves it too

chuu chuu 🍎: don’t forget the meaning of the song you worked on!!! remember!!!

heekki 🐰: omg he’s been hinting at their song when he said that? damn sunwoo 🤮 you are much smoother than i thought

y/n: STOP!!! okay i will talk to him i swear

“Y/N, we’re here,” Soeun says as she pulls up in front of the same building where you went to that one party with Sunwoo.

You exited the car and glanced back at Soeun. “I’ll see you later, maybe?”

Soeun only chuckles and says, “Yeah, unless Sunwoo decides that he wants to bring you home himself.”

“Soeun! Don’t say that!” You gasp at her comment only for her to laugh.

“Have fun!” With that, she drives off to wherever.

You continued to make your way into the building and tried to find the function room where the afterparty was being held. Thankfully, it was easy to find since you could hear songs from their newly released album being blasted through the walls.

Once you swung the door open, you saw staff members, idols that The Boyz is friends with, and others who are unfamiliar to you. You quickly made your way through the crowd of people in hopes to find anyone who could bring you to Sunwoo.

Before you could take another step, you felt someone grab on your wrist from behind. As you look back, you see Sunwoo dressed out of the crop top but in an open-button shirt with a tank top under.

“You really did come!” He says as loud as he could over the music that blasted.

“Of course I did, we need to celebrate your success.” He only shakes his head at your praise.

“Come on, I’ll bring you to the drinks–”

“Sunwoo, wait.” He stops pulling you in the direction where the bar is.

You suck a breath in. “Can we talk? Like maybe outside?”

For a moment, Sunwoo felt hesitant. His mind could only guess what the conversation may be about. With the way you look at him, he nodded and continued to walk in a different direction.

Eventually, you found yourselves by the outdoor area where you had a good view of the city lights and night sky. With his hand still holding onto your wrist, you continued to follow him to a green steel bench. The two of you sat down beside each other. As you tried to adjust your body to face him, you noticed that his hands have found themselves covering his ears. With that, you decided to rest your hand on top of his and bring it back down to his lap.

“Hey, it’s nothing bad,” You attempt to ease his anxieties.

Sunwoo sighs. “I’m sorry, I think it’s the nerves.”

You can only smile at him as you draw circles on the back of his hand with your thumb.

“Well, you’re at a party with me where there’s alcohol surrounding us,” You try to joke as you look down at your intertwined hands.

Sunwoo only chuckles. For a moment, silence comes to you two. As the wind comes in and rustles the leaves of the bushes, you are left to hear the sounds of nature (and the muffled sounds of The Boyz’s music) as you try to think of the words to say.

“Sunwoo, we’ve known each other for a while now. I mean, I originally agreed to work with you guys to see Soeun’s new workplace. I had to come to terms that she was going to resign from being my manager. But I think I found it within myself to accept it.”

In some way, your time working with Sunwoo helped you prepare for letting Soeun go as your manager. Somehow, you also found yourself getting accustomed to the feeling of working inside a company throughout all the times you and he would work.

“It’s just, I really was not expecting to gain a friend when I accepted the request, especially a close one. It’s weird because for all the other people I worked with, we’ve only been friendly to each other. But you, you actually took your time to really… know me in the same way I got to know you.”

“You listened, understood, and even comforted me when I needed it. I hope you know that I am thankful for all of that.” You smile. “That’s why above everything, I’m so glad I got to meet you and become friends with you in the process. I mean, you really did show me the pleasures of being your friend. Despite our fight, you always found a way to fix it all up.”

You sucked in a breath with your eyes downcasted. “But Sunwoo, with all the moments we shared, I don’t… even know what we are. The more time we spend with each other, the more boundaries keep getting crossed.”

And you finally let it out. “Sunwoo, what do you want from this—from us? I can’t just let you get away with all the flirting, the compliments, even the kisses.”

You hear Sunwoo chuckle which makes your eyes look up to him.

“It’s just funny when you mention kisses as if you didn’t leave me a kiss the night I brought you home.” You cannot help but let a giggle slip out.

“Okay, I’m at fault too. But I’m serious now—I don’t think I would’ve given you that… kiss if it weren’t for all the times you flirted with me.”

Sunwoo smiles as you whisper those last words. With his free hand, he reaches out to your face to caress your cheek. For a moment, he only looks at you with eyes full of adoration.

“Y/N, I like you and I want something with you.” He tucks your hair behind your ear. “For the longest time, you are the one celebrity crush who I followed closely. In your work, performances, and charisma in your Produce 101 & 1CON days, I always found myself admiring you and feeling supported by you. Even if you didn’t know me personally, I always felt as if you motivated me to keep going during my newly debuted days.”

“But when I finally got to work with you, that’s when I got to learn about you more outside of what I saw. In those moments, I realized that what started off as admiration had turned into something intimate and genuine.”

Sunwoo’s thumb draws patterns on your cheekbone. “Remember how I admitted to having a bigger dream other than collaborating with you?”

“Yeah, can’t believe I wasn’t your number one wish.”

“Well, you are.” You cannot help but smile at his words.

“For a long time, I think you’ve always felt like this unattainable wish to have. Yet, I worked so hard to be able to meet and work with you—the universe listened,” He whispers those last words as if he stored such beautiful phrases within him.

“I mean it when I never expected a genuine crush to develop within me when I got to know you more. I don’t want you to think that all of what I feel is based on the crush I had on you when I saw you on TV. No matter what, I never want you to doubt the feelings I have for you.” The moment Sunwoo smiles, you feel every limb of your body filled with warmth.

Before he could say any more, you felt your eyes flicker down to his lips. With him aware of that action, he held himself back from saying anything. His breath hitches at such a small action. As you feel yourself slowly lean in, you let your eyes flicker back up to his.

“Can I?” You whisper.

Instead of Sunwoo replying verbally, he closed the gap between you two. You wish there were words to describe what it feels like to kiss him. For now, you can only think of one word—overwhelmed.

There were so many emotions that came with the kiss; genuineness, joy, and desperation were to name a few. Sunwoo’s plump lips on yours were something you dreamt about late at night; you cannot believe that the dream came true. In the same he described you as an unattainable wish, kissing him felt the same as well. As you feel yourself get stuck in a daze with the kiss, you break it off and rest your forehead against his.

“... Wow.” You felt your heart hammer in your chest as you processed what just happened between you two.

“Was that okay?” He whispers with his eyes still on you.

You take a deep breath. “It was more than okay. I just–I felt so overwhelmed.”

“We can take it down a notch if you would want.”

“No!” You said a little too quickly which made him grin.

“No?” He mocks you.

You scoff. “Just shut up.” And you brought his lips back on yours.

With your lips interlocked for the second time, you cannot help but wrap your arms around his neck. It is as if there is some carnal desire within you to be as close to him as possible. Nothing is on your mind except for Sunwoo; his smile; his heart of gold; his ability to make you smile; his lips. You feel Sunwoo start to smile in the kiss which has you parting ways.

“God, Y/N—I didn’t know you wanted me that bad.”

You frown at him. “As if you don’t want me too, Mr. “I have always had a crush on you” like…” Despite your words, you cannot help the smile that threatens to show itself on your lips.

“Yeah, I do want you,” Sunwoo says so casually as if he did not know the effect his words had.

You feel yourself blush. “You know, you say that shit so easily to me that a part of me started to believe that this was just your way of being friendly and that I was looking too much into it—though many people did keep saying you were hitting on me. Do you do this with others you work with?”

“You talked about me to other people?”

“That’s what you got from what I said?”

Sunwoo lets out a laugh. “I was hitting on you. To be honest, I was doing it since I first met you but I think everything started to feel genuine during our first time in the convenience store. I mean, that’s when I got to actually know you but I’ll never really know when I first started liking you that way. All I know now is that I like you now, no matter if you were in 1CON or not.” He smiles. “And no, I usually think I don’t pay attention much to others the same way I do with you.”

The great thing about Sunwoo is that he always tries to soothe your doubts. Somehow, the universe gave you someone who likes you for all that you are. You two had your own baggage that you guys brought to the relationship, but you knew that anything felt possible as long as he was there.

“Now, what did you tell others about me?”

“Can you not?”

“You know I can’t. I like knowing how much you like me.”

It is 1:47 PM. You were dressed up in semi-formal attire appropriate for meetings. As you held your iPad close to your chest, you felt your palms getting sweaty and your heartbeat booms loud in your ears. The last time you were this nervous was when you were waiting for the final line-up results for 1CON.

“Y/N?” The secretary called out your name.

As you shot up from your seat, the secretary pointed to a door. “You can enter now.”

Once you made your way to the door, you felt yourself take a moment to breathe. The nerves were getting the best of you, but you knew that now is not the time to ruin your chances. You swung the door open and were greeted by Song Jooyoung and Choi Kyusung—the members of Black Eyed Pilseung and CEOs of High-Up Entertainment.

“Ah, Y/N! It is so nice to meet you once again,” Mr. Song says as he gets up from his chair to shake your hand.

“Ah, Mr. Song and Mr. Choi, it is a pleasure to see you once more.” Once Mr. Song took a seat, you sat in the chair across the two.

“I guess it is only right to first say that we were pleasantly surprised to see you when we opened auditions. It’s not all the time that you see Korea’s sweetheart wanting to audition for your company,” Mr. Choi says.

You smile at the two. “You’ve certainly improved since 1CON disbanded. Not only have you been producing music for yourself and artists but your vocals and movements have certainly grown over the years. When you weren’t signed, were you actively practicing?”

“Actually, I think I’ve been slacking when it comes to dancing. It was really me, my old manager, and two colleagues that really helped in making sure I would still be relevant in the industry.” You admit to Mr. Song.

“I mean, we can only imagine. It must have been a difficult experience,” Mr. Song says.

You let out a sigh. “It’s… definitely an experience. I think I learned a lot from this.”

“Well, you will have all the time to tell us about it later on. We evaluated your audition along with your recent works over the past two years,” Mr. Choi starts off. “After careful consideration, both Jooyoung and I agreed that you would be perfect for High-Up Entertainment. With your current skill set, we believe we can help you further hone these in hopes that you can reach your true potential.”

“Here in High-Up, we believe in the importance of artistic freedom. Not only will you be able to share your aspirations and dreams with us but we will guide you all throughout the process. Rest assured, you will not be alone—it is important to us that our artists can speak of what they wish to pursue,” Mr. Song says.

“Y/N, we know how difficult you’ve had it in the industry as an independent artist. Most of the time, you are criticized or praised for choosing to work on your own.” Mr. Choi takes a deep breath. “But we want to make sure that you know that we are here to support you every step of the way. You won’t have to work alone anymore.”

You feel yourself smile at the news. It means a lot to you for Mr. Choi and Mr. Song to say those words. After being subjected to mistreatment by different companies and being pushed under the spotlight for everyone to comment on everything you do, it warmed your heart to know that there are people who do care.

Not everyone is wishing on your downfall, and not everyone wants to treat you like a tool. Over the course of time, you realized that some people want to see you succeed.

“Thank you so much for having me,” You say as you bow your head.

“Before we officially sign you into the company, we will briefly discuss the terms of your contract. We will be sending it to your email right now,” Mr. Choi says as he types away on his laptop.

“Are you free to go over it? Don’t worry, we won’t pressure you to sign it right away. After all, we want you to have enough time to carefully deliberate.”

Instead of verbally answering Mr. Song, you opted for a nod.

“Alright, let’s get started.”

“Soeun, I got in!” You exclaim as you were seated on the bus going back to your place.

“Oh my god, I’m so happy for you! And you’re under the care of Black Eyed Pilseung.”

“Don’t worry, I haven’t signed the contract.”

You hear Soeun let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god, Y/N. Please let me look through it tonight and I’ll email you back.” You chuckle at her reaction.

“Of course. I’ll be sending the original and revised contracts your way. It’s funny how you’re still looking out for me even if you work in IST now.”

“I’ll always look out for you.” You smile at Soeun’s reply.

It’s been four months since Soeun officially resigned from being your manager. During those four months, you did not accept any offers for any collaborations. You knew that it would make your life complicated if you entertained any offers without any manager present. Instead, you focused on creating more tracks for yourself and scouting a company that you felt is worth trusting.

The bus was nearing your stop. As you got off your seat, you waited for the doors to open.

“Thank you, Soeun. I mean, you’ve done so much for me,” You say as you finally step out of the bus.

“Hey, I hope you’re still not beating yourself up over the fact I left JYP Entertainment with you. That was my decision, you know?” Soeun said as you were walking back to your place.

You let out a sigh. “I know, but it was hard to just be… okay with it. But I hope you're enjoying what you do in IST.”

“I actually am. I’ve been helping out Jihoon often with The Boyz and handling some of the trainees. You know, Jihoon was not lying when he said The Boyz are really… boys.” You let out a laugh at Soeun’s sharing.

“C’mon, it’s a group of like 11 guys. You must have at least expected it.”

Soeun groans. “I know. Thankfully, they’re nice and fun to be with most of the time. Though they can get out of hand.” You can only laugh.

You finally reached your place and tried to fish out your keys. “Hey, I’ll call you back. I just got back to my place. I’ll send you the documents later.”

“No worries! Take care and love you!”

“Love you Soeun! Thank you again.” Once she hangs up, you successfully retrieve your keys and unlock the door.

As you entered your home, you closed the door behind you. “I’m home!”

“Welcome back!” Sunwoo says as he comes from the kitchen dressed up in a sweater and checkered sleep pants.

You and Sunwoo have been together since you confronted him the night of his showcase. Most times, you found yourselves staying at your place since Sunwoo shares a dorm with Chanhee, Changmin, and Younghoon. During the past months, Sunwoo has been with you during this weird unemployment but self-discovery period. Never was he ever condescending to you, and you needed that desperately.

“Hey, you,” You say once Sunwoo pecks you on the lips.

“You know, you still look so good in that outfit.”

You chuckle as he looks at you from top to bottom. “I know Sunwoo, you said that when you saw me getting ready.”

“Yeah, but…” Sunwoo gives you one more kiss. “I just want to remind you.”

“Well, thank you. I like those pants on you.”

“You like it more when it’s off.”

You roll your eyes. “Point taken.”

As you made your way to the living room, Sunwoo followed closely behind you. The two of you took a seat on the couch.

“So… how did the meeting go?” Sunwoo finally asks.

You smile at him. “I got in!”

“Really? Y/N, that’s huge!” He says as he brings you into an embrace.

“I know! It’s crazy that I might be working under Black Eyed Pilseung.” You giggle at his reaction.

He gives you a kiss on the forehead. “I’m so proud of you. I never doubted you.”

“Yeah. During all the times I was panicking, you were always there to keep me at ease,” You murmur as you nuzzle your face into his neck.

“Though, I need to go through the contract again with Soeun. Wanna go through it with me tonight?”

“Of course, I’d do anything for you,” Sunwoo says as kisses your cheek.

You feel yourself smile at his words. He never fails to comfort you with words that feel as if they came out of a poet (though you could consider him a poet with how many lyrics he has written).

“I know you do, and I’d do anything for you too,” You say as you look up at him.

“Yeah, you let me stay in your home even when you’re not around.”

You roll your eyes. “Sunwoo, you practically live here at this point considering all the times you’ve slept over.”

“You don’t want me over?” He pouts.

“You know I do.” You look away from him only to be greeted with more kisses all over your face.

“Of course I do!” He teases as you groan playfully at his kisses.

“Sunwoo! You’re so obsessed with me.” He laughs and gives you one more kiss on the lips.

For a moment, you two look at each other with adoration. Nothing was said but it did not matter for all that needed to be uttered was shared in that moment.

“I love you,” Sunwoo whispers.

You feel your lips quiver at Sunwoo’s confession. Never did you ever expect yourself to be liked by someone in the way Sunwoo likes you.

“I love you too,” You say in response.

As you see Sunwoo smile at your words, you knew that your future would have him in it. At that moment, you knew how lucky you were to be loved by Sunwoo.

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