#it still hurts sometimes

[almond-tofu-chan]

I have never dissociated faster than from getting a notification that a dead YouTuber was streaming in 30 minutes lmao

#apparently his dad is gonna go through and watch all his old streams live #learn the history of the server and allat #and #i dont think i can watch that #i think im really good at pretending idc anymore #deadass running from my past lmao #but #it still hurts sometimes #so its easier to pretend i didnt waste years of my life developing parasocial relationships with Minecraft youtubers #and im sorry for that lol #he deserves to be remembered better than i can afford to remember him #wishing all the best with future streaming endeavors lol #and hopefully fewer heart attacks from notifications #technoblade never dies

[blugrlgroup]

How am I supposed to value myself when everyone I love or care for abandons me in the end

#I’m just still so heartbroken #I’m doing so much better than I thought I would but man #it still hurts sometimes #and I’m still angry and bitter and jealous and just sad #sad that i thought we had something so special #angry that he lead me on for so long #bitter than he’ll find someone else and be happier with them #I know I’m just fragile from counselling but man #I wish I believed myself when I say I’m better off without him #and that I’m the greatest loss in love he’ll ever have #but Hell im not even fully over my ex boyfriend and it’s been three years #I guess part of the reason for that is that I got involved with someone else so soon after we broke up #which I regret so fucking much especially now #I really feel like I would’ve gotten back together with ***** had I not met the other guy #heh #oh well #I guess life is just having to accept things you don’t want to #but here I am crying when he’s probably fine #they’re both probably fine and probably won’t even think about me #I clearly don’t have a significant impact on other people #at least not as big as they leave on me #:(((((

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Thistle Debut Day!

#dungeon meshi #Thistle #Old dungeon meshi fans remember the days when it was ambiguous what gender Thistle was. #Now we know Thistle uses he/him pronouns but in my heart Thistle is still non-binary. Clowngender elf with poor coping skills. #I hope the anime-only watchers know that this is a character to keep an eye on. #Love (in it's many forms) and desire (in it's many forms) is the main course of Dungeon Meshi and THIS silly jester? #My goodness. What a perfect encapsulation of how one can hurt other's so deeply in the name of love. #The actions we take to 'protect' other's is often the route to doing the most harm. #Love is letting go. Sometimes that means control and sometimes that means saying farewell forever to someone.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

ref sheet that shows the extent of his injuries (he's in his pajamas)

#**continuously puts him through hell** #i know this isn't a very realistic depiction of burnt scars but I just wanted to show which parts of his body were the most affected #*Springdad says they still hurt/itch sometimes #TOAST RABBIT /ref #springdad au #starbsart #it's not exactly winter where i live anymore but is still cold anyway. I'm using a sweater rn so uhhh yea #he usually sleeps shirtless during warmer seasons (mosquitoes be eating him alive) #fnaf

[centurieslove]

rewatched 4x07 and this line left me dead in the street

#sometimes i forget how young arthur still is in season 4 #he's trying so hard in this episode #he's not saying lots but he has Thoughts #when he says he already has had his heartbroken?? #kill me #their interactions are so important to me #like we always talk about how gaius is merlin's father figure but I forget how much he was arthur's too #I'm hurting ok #fr though this line hit me like a truck #4x07 #merlin 4x07 #the secret sharer #arthur pendragon #gaius #bbc merlin

[silverskye13]

Have you seen the coliseum? The jaws, the stands, the banners, and blood? The crowds, the roaring magnanimous flood? Their voices, the ocean, the pulse in your ears, the shape of their outcry, the shape of your fear. Your sword is the lightning, the thunder their praise, the silence befallen your hand when it's stayed. You should see the coliseum, the fights in the sand, your soul in your teeth and your glory demand. As if you were thunder, the god of the storm, you, gladiator, the proud and hels-born.

#spazzcat doodles #helsknight #tanguish #redstone and skulk #hermitcraft #hels tango #uhhhh yeah sure that's the tags #this is as done as this is getting #my face still hurts #in completely unrelated news i've been reading The Song of Achilles #the reviews on that book are so crazy #you can really tell the greek mythology girlies hate pop culture takes on their fix #which in fairness -- i also get really offended when people Do Knights Wrong sometimes so i cannot judge

[tangledinink]

For the Swanatello fam: what does everyone miss most about Donnie during his lake-induced absences?

for donnie, leo will gladly give every scrap of patience and grace and gentleness he has. he doesn't mind explaining things. he doesn't mind telling his brother the same things over and over. he doesn't mind it when donnie forgets or doesn't understand or needs his help to remember or process things.

but he misses the banter. the back-and-forth. the stupid fights and pranks and 'you said's' and 'i told you so's.' and, perhaps a bit selfishly, he misses when he didn't always feel like he had to be the bigger person for him. he misses when he still had the space to be childish and immature and petty towards his twin, and it wouldn't hurt either of them the way it tends to now.

[ swanatello ]

#swanatello #its no fun to pick a fight if you cant apologize and make up later #getting in that perfect GOTTEM line doesnt feel v good if the only reason is bc the other guy is confused/cant remember what ur talking abt #sure leo is still his typical brand of obnoxious and extra most of the time. esp when donnie is having a good day. #but the rules are just so different now. #hes so frustrated and tense all the time he has to step carefully because if he doesnt #he loses himself and crosses the line and says things that he doesnt mean and will regret #things that used to roll right off donnies back now sometimes really hurt him because he doesnt remember the context #or just because his emotional state is so volatile right now. hes scared and confused almost all the time now. #its stressful. its exhausting. so the threshold is different #leo will be gentle and careful and thoughtful with donnie for as long as he needs to be. even if he has to be for the rest of his life. #but he still misses when he felt like he knew all the rules. when it was easy. when he didnt have to be. #rottmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #donniesona #tmnt #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 2k18 #rottmnt disaster twins #asks

[originalaccountname]

putting my hands on your shoulders looking directly into your eyes why are you so insistent that Dazai is faking every emotion every second of every day except when he's acting mean or evil why do you think his dark side is more true than his happier or sillier sides

do you not also have multiple facets you show different people? are we not all beautiful multifaceted individuals? are your actions and reactions not influenced by your emotions and state of mind?

can't he laugh at his own jokes? can't he fondly think of the Agency? can't he be dramatic because he wants to? can't he be surprised by something suddenly happening, even if he knew it would happen? do you not jump when the jack in the box gets out even if you were the one working the mechanism?

why would the mean persona be more real? why would any and all joy be faked? why are you only allowing him misery?

#sorry i saw one too many posts talking about dazai's ''masks'' and how he hides his true self from the ada #and what of it if he still has the potential to hurt others? what of it if he's good at hurting? every day he chooses not to lean into it #not too far at the very least. #isn't kyouk.a skilled at killing? did she not choose not to do it? #i'm not saying dazai's never acting (because it does happen) i'm saying too many people are too quick to brush off- #every non-serious non-mean emotion as ''playing an act'' #why would the mean persona not be a fake?? you thought about that??? what biases are you holding here #he makes jokes. he acts silly. he's a drama queen. he loves it. #you know what IS tiring? having to look evil and untouchable and impassive in front of a whole organization every day as a teenager #as soon as he gets to lupin with od.a and ang.o he goes silly mode. heck- when he *met* ang.o it was because he went silly mode. #as soon as chuuy.a is in proximity he starts yelling children's insults and starts stupid competitions #his silly mode is just as integrated into his personality as the capacity to be the scariest most evil person you've seen #they are not mutually exclusive and having the capacity for either does not mean acting on them #as asagiri said in an interview: bsd isn't about change it's about adaptation. kyouk.a has the talent to kill. she just chooses not to. #dazai has the skills to be evil. he just chooses good. #that got long in the tags sorry #apparently i talk sometimes

[on-this-day-mcr]

On this day, July 23

In 2002: My Chemical Romance released their first studio album, "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love", with producer Geoff Rickly. (🖤)

Stream "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" here!

#another one for the where it all began compilation boys #“with producer geoff rickly” sentences that hurt my heart to type :') #sometimes it still blows my mind that this was their very first album #like you're telling me they produced vampires?? demo lovers?? halos?? SORROWS????? as some of their very first songs??????????????????????? #wild #july 23 #2002 #bullets era #album release

[sunflowerwizard]

I wish there were more meaningful insights into Wyll's relationship with his father that didn't turn into "lol daddy kink amirite" or "this is why we should kill Ulder"

#twilitalks #I'm just going to holler this into the void and not any of the fandom tags #sometimes your dad is a stoic traumatized dude who hasn't gone to therapy and loves his kids but Isn't Very Good At It #that doesn't excuse the way he's hurt his kids or make him a horrible irredeemable person it just makes him A Person #you can love someone and still be angry and hurt at them for what they did to you #can you tell I relate to Wyll a lot in this regard

[add1ctedt0you]

The Untamed - Episode 11 - Episode 15

The woman had creamy skin and was rather beautiful, though her delicate features displayed some fierceness. The corners of her lips lay between a frown and a smile - she was a natural at sneering, just like Jiang Cheng. Her flowing purple robes wrapped around her thin waist. Both her face and her right hand, which rested on the hilt of her sword, were as cold as jade stone. A ring embellished with amethyst was worn on the index finger of her right hand.

Jiang Cheng smiled as he saw her, "Mom!"

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation - Chapter 51- Courage- Part 1

Madam Yu stared at his face. Suddenly she embraced him and kissed his hair a few times. With him in her arms, she murmured, "Good boy."

She hugged him so tight that it seemed as if she wanted turn Jiang Cheng into a baby and stuff him back into her stomach, so that nobody could hurt him, nobody could tear them apart. Jiang Cheng had never been hugged by his mother like this, much less kissed. His head was buried in her chest but his eyes were wide open, not knowing what to do.

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation- Chapter 58 - Poisons- Part 3

#It's about men loving their awful mothers #Also. Their relationship is SO IMPORTANT TO JC #madam yu taught jc that love comes with hurt and #that sometimes someone you love hurts badly your favorite person and you can still love and feel complicated about that person! #And this is going to shape jc's way to deal with wwx #Also. madam yu loves him *so much* ) #But madam yu and jc aren't exactly close like jl and jc are. Which *gesture to mdzs* it's all about generational trauma and trying #to do better #I've so many feelings #jiang cheng #yu ziyuan #*mgifs #Out of the point. wcz's acting slaps #Uh. Should I cut the madam yu's description? It's maybe too long lol #Also. jc's problem is not 'lack of mother's love'. The problem imo is that the love is there. And it's a lot

[jakeperalta]

or maybe... hear me out.... there is in fact no villain because that's just how it works in life normally... and if you can recognise that emily is in fact a complex and flawed person who can act both lovingly and selfishly then that same logic also applies to rory who was literally just a 15-22 year old who messed up sometimes........

#like CLEARLY by the end of the show emily was never the villain and her reconciliation with lorelai reflects that #so how is the logical next step 'oh the teenager who messes up sometimes must be the villain instead' #and not that there is no real villain just people who make mistakes and hurt each other sometimes but still have the chance to be better #talking #gilmore girls

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinking about how dean’s character gets simplified in fandom, or more specifically, the very black and white lens that gets applied to him. because integral to dean, from my point of view, is that he is both a victim of abuse and a perpetrator of it. that these two things do not cancel each other out or outweigh each other to the point that only one matters. he’s both, you cannot separate him from the fact that he’s both.

but very often, people do. dean is either a victim. or he’s an abuser. it’s like it’s hard for people to hold both those facts in their heads at once. dean went through incredible amount of trauma as a child and an adult, is routinely faced with violence, has resorted to alcohol abuse to cope with it. he’s also a violent person, someone who retreats into tactics of emotional abuse and control when he feels threatened, who hurts the people around him constantly and the people who are closest to him (ie Sam, Cas, later Jack) get the brunt of that abuse. these are just facts. they’re things that happened on the screen and cannot be denied.

and it’s. idk it’s weird to me (not unexpected, because he’s hardly the only character to ever get this treatment) that dean of all people is the one portrayed in such an either/or way when one of the defining moments of the show for him is that during his stint in Hell, he was tortured and then became a torturer to escape that, to feel like he had some control again, and he relished in it. it’s baked into who he is.

#dean as a victim of abuse who goes on to continue those behaviors is still important to me surprise surprise #i didnt want to put this in the main post but also. from observation. when people start projecting onto him This Gets Worse #because. you know. as noted before: big fandom - lots of queer & neurodivergent people here. #tend to be targetted by abuse. statistically. #and mix that with a character you can project heavily upon. one you can project queer/neurodivergent hcs on even. #then like! understandably stressful to reckon with him being canonically kind of shitty sometimes! no one wants to consider their own #potential for shittiness - not even through a character they just heavily relate to! #(note: opposite happens as well. people project onto sam -> see dean hurt sam -> block out the idea that dean could be just as much victim #as he is abuser. its just. easier like that.) #anyway. none of this is like. a crime. just an observation. really we get all our biases from the society we live in — a society obsessed #with perfect victims and evil unredeemable abusers. #all that stuff leaks into fandom takes whether we want it to or not #dean winchester #spn

[edgelessvoid]

Does it burn?

#arknights #reed #saileach #very and i do mean very heavily inspired by gloomy's reedwillow fic 'burn' #go read it it's very good #silly hc reed still flinches sometimes as a result of her holding back her arts; yet insists it doesn't hurt every time she's asked

[salemontrial]

Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.

#no im so pissed about that. #dude you don't give an autistic person a meltdown that big over something that hurtful #and just #walk away scot free #last time someone gave me a meltdown that hardcore I cut them off for a month. #that might just be the bpd tho #but still #quinni doesn't seem like the type to just. be chill without an apology and hearing sasha explain herself #and then she makes her her vice?????????? #she already acknowledged sasha is only in it for the power trip #sasha didn't even do anything in the investigation she just followed quinni around #which as she should #but she hasn't made up for how she treated quinni AT ALL #in fact she's just gotten MORE of a performative activist #like why the fuck was she such a bitch to missy abt spider #i get it yea. ur friends sometimes have dogshit taste in men but you don't need to make them feel like trash abt it #and the way she was like 'he fetishizes u for being black omg its probably asian girls next omg i dont feel safe' #THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU????????. #also she 100% jumpstarted quinnis identity crisis #with how she was constantly switching between infantilizing her and undermining her autonomy over her own decisions #and treating doing things quinni wanted to do and the specific way she needed to do them as a chore #and then victimizing herself!!!!!!! #like from experience that relationship dynamic IS abusive to autistic people it just is #idk if nt people get it but it's really fucking awful to come from your partner #anyway. until sasha apologizes to both quinni and missy this will continue to be a sasha hate page. #heartbreak high #heartbreak high season 2 #quinni gallagher jones #sasha so #missy beckett

[seagull-scribbles]

I want you to tell ‘em that you love the way that they don’t stick out like sore middle fingers

[Continuation of this]

#TMNT 2012 #casey jones 2012 #raphael hamato #rasey #this is platonic again but I’m not against romantic subtext or whatever #when I was in school being able to do this with your hand was super cool and I often still do it with both #but I’ve met both adults and kids who’ve never seen it before and it freaks them out ahaha #anyway I was jus thinking of hands again and this is a warm up sketch #but i do think thee two would have heart to hearts on rooftops sometimes and really open up #maybe theyre sat next to eachother and raph looks at his thigh next to Casey’s and gets self conscious #maybe one of them was hurt in a fight (probably Casey) and theyre patching eachother up and they just start exploring their differences #or maybe its something as simple as raph asking casey if he was Tarzan and the scene with the hands and Casey’s like yo we can do that #or even more childish theyre just doing it to see who’s hands bigger because Casey’s sister has been doing it a lot and its fun #because let me tell you it doesnt matter how old the kids i work with are they all love comparing my hand with theirs #but i imagine Raphs eyes for a second would give away hes upset a little cause he’s definitely the most self conscience about being a mutant #so Casey would do this and be like ahh look see we arent that different really #raph could bend his fingers to emphasise how much shorter Casey’s are #and cause would say something like these digits might be small but theyre mighty #leading to a shove or even a thumb war or something #anyway ill stop gushing i have a comission to do xxx #OH OH OH THE BITE MARK ON CASEY IS BECAUSE A MUTUAL COMMENTS ABOUT EATING MY RASEY ART SO THATS THEIR TEETH but im not naming names....