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llvr-92 · 3 years

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DGM Pairing - LaviLena - Part 2

it takes so much time but here is the second part of why Lavi deserves Lenalee the most & why I think Hoshino sensei setting them up as a couple, I hope you enjoy this post. also, you can find part1 under LaviLena tag in my blog:

Part2:Noah's Ark Arc:

· So we started this arc with Lenalee getting sucked by Lero into the “Noah’s Ark”, as everyone falls on top of her she was unconscious the first person to go to her & pick her-up is Lavi, just look how he is protectively\closely holding her. (CH90- EP76).

· As they were fighting Debito & Jedero, Lavi told Allen to protect Lenalee and the other “Chouji” until he found the real key (CH100 – EP82).

· After that the crew leaves Krory behind Lenalee wanted to go back to him, Allen stopped her & kind of share a cute Allena moment but Lavi has to ruin it for them, Lavi is probably jealous of how Allen is holding her & how close his face to Lena face isn’t he?. (CH105-EP83).

· Allen was helping Lenalee to climb the stair he is holding her hand and then Lavi commented that “he wants to switch place with Allen”, Allen reply was “your real motivate is so obvious Lavi, he just wants to hold Lenalee’s hand”, After Lenalee letting her thought out loud, Lavi teased her about never finding a lover if she “didn’t think more sexy thought”, which makes her angry & replied to him “its none of your business Lavi” & Lavi’s answer was “it’s none of my business but…”, Lavi seems so lost to put any other word as he was also blushing & frustrated so he had to change the subject, from the way Hoshino sensei drew this scene I think it will return in the future arc you can see Lenalee noticing Lavi blushing toward her in the below right panel with a “?”, maybe she will have a flashback related to this scene in the future. (CH110 – EP84).

· After receiving the bad news about Kanda & Krory, Lenalee was terrified\worried but Lavi reaches out to her squeezed her hand & told her to get a hold of herself, at this point “I love how Lavi knows her personality & how will she react then he just act accordingly to comfort her. (CH111-EP85).

· Lenalee & Chouji are Locked-up, Lavi is the one to fight to free these two & manly to free Lenalee you can see Lenalee apologizing for Lavi as this fight is on away for her sake. (CH112).

· Lavi is shifted into Road dream world, but what Road exactly used to prepare the worst opponent for Lavi, worst dream by reading his record & peering into his memory, his opponent was his former self “Deak” & an interesting conversation started between the two\bookman, this is the important dialogue stated between the two:

· Deak to Lavi “the place of your heart doesn’t exist in this world, no matter whose heart let you in you can only watch them that’s is your punishment”, after this dialogue Lavi reply “I already know that” which is incorrect he doesn’t know as Deak answered him I wonder? Then it just happens that Lenalee appears in the next panel with this text “your eyes of the past were never lit with that weak light” as if it indicated that “Lenalee is currently Lavi’s light” (CH114-EP86).

§ But let's not forget Road real purpose is to break him mentally & for that she used Lenalee by sending her inside a coffin knowing how Lavi will react, perhaps after reading Lavi memories/record she discovers Lavi feelings for Lenalee which at this point “Lavi himself still doesn’t know his feeling yet”.

§ After he saw Lenalee he jumped & rushed to her side & he holds her closely “just take a look at how Hoshino sensei drew Lavi facial expression, how much he is so terrified”, also didn’t Lavi said a while ago this is just a dream/an illusion created by Road Kamelot yet he reacted this way toward a fake Lenalee “Lavi just can’t think rationally when it’s involving Lena” (CH114-EP86).

· We had a flashback when Lavi first joined the order & his first meeting with Lenalee, again Hoshino-sensei choice for drawing Lavilena encounter is too beautiful, first, she gives us an overall view from the top just to showcase “there are a lot of people on the area”, but Lavi’s eyes set on Lenalee & on the same time Lenalee look at him while crying. “it’s like this is a girl & a boy encounter by fate, Lavi was so far away, yet they look at each other in the same time.

also regarding his encounter with Lenalee I believe it’s related to an answer which Lavi provided in the discussion room here is the question “Does Lavi have a thing for a cute girl with big breast” Allen answered “he’s a menace”, where Lavi had to stop him and answered “Hey, hold on! People think I only care about looks, but I'm pretty picky about personality too, “sometimes you see a girl and it just hit you” & just after this question Lavi stated that he is interested in Lenalee.

We also seen Lenalee sitting beside him in the cafeteria, she looks comfortable with him even though he is a newbie she even pats his back.

· After breaking Lavi mentally Deak takes over his body, a fight started with Allen, Lavi was ruthless & powerful as the last hope Allen used “Lenalee is crying” hoping to influence Lavi emotionally & bring him to his sense, but why “Allen used Lenalee name, perhaps he knows that Lavi has a feeling for her, he is weak against her tears? “I will write about this in part 3”, anyway instead of influencing Lavi positively, it seems that “Lenalee name triggered him to punch Allen even harder, “just look at Deak gaze when Allen mentioned Lena name”.

why he seems pissed? This is just an assumption but “as Deak is the one taking over, he was furious because the reason why Lavi is changing is Lenalee, he knows Lavi is falling for her isn’t he? otherwise why using Lenalee as the main person to break his heart on Road dream, why Lenalee is one to appear in the flashback, why he is trying so hard to convince Lavi “she is nothing more than a small piece of history?”, falling for her will interfere with Lavi recording as he stated while Lavi’s holding Lenalee “don’t let your heart distract you & interfere with your record”, meaning whatever Bookman clan trying to achieve is at risk as we saw “Lavi breaking his bookman role multiple time for Lenalee sake on the previous arc, this arc & the upcoming arc as well.

· Then Road stated something important I do think this will also be used on Lavi’s arc “if we ever reach there hopefully” once he becomes the bookman, which is “bookman are just onlookers for the sake of his record, he just walked alongside you guy” “those are that kid’s true feeling, you notice that Hoshino sensei put the text on Lenalee panel, even the anime version when Road said those words the frames were on Lenalee”

first, you see how these words affected Lenalee just look at how Hoshino-sensei draws Lenalee eyes she looks broken/desperate “Perhaps for the first time Lenalee was terrified from Lavi as a person”. after Lavi burned himself, Lenalee was also desperately hitting her leg wanting to save Lavi but unfortunately she didn’t have her innocence, once Allen & Lavi are out from the petrified fire she goes to “Lavi first”, instead of sharing a touchy moment, she gives him her Iron fist of love, but why Lenalee punch him in the first place I know Lavi was reckless, but it’s the same for Allen he was reckless against Tiki he didn’t get a punch, you may call me a biased but “Lenalee punching Lavi seems an act a girlfriend will do when the boyfriend had done risky thing & it’s a different vibe from when she hits Allen in the next chapter ”.

· Lavi lent his coat to Lenalee as she was revealing to much skin, just look how cute she is on Lavi’s coat, also isn’t Lavi acting like he is the perfect boyfriend, not to forget he showed a proactive side toward Lenalee being in a room with the womanizer Cross he had to rush to her with the other boys. “Lenalee are you sure he didn’t do anything to you?”

· Personally, this arc was my favorite because I got attached to Lavi’s background & his suffering, I also know on this Arc that Lavi is hopelessly in love with Lenalee & not to mention through the years Lavi changed his name 48 times and all the previous persona are the same but Lavi differ before he was disappointed on the human race, didn’t get attached to anyone, he was only concentrating on recording, but all that changes once he encounters Lenalee, Lenalee changed him, did Lenalee changes Allen persona in any way? I don’t think so, we all know what motivates Allen it’s his promise to mana, so I do hope she gives Lavi a chance, but also Hoshino sensei put some elements which make this ship Impossible to Happen, which make me ship them more T_T.

· I will be happy to receive any feedback positive or negative are all welcomed, BTW Part three is already finished I just need to do the final revision, but I haven’ really thought that it would be the longest one ^_^, what you all think shall I tried to delete some part or keep it long as it’s, I mean I have put extra thing such as why I support this ship, what I hate about it, my point of view about Hoshino sensei writing, an example from different Manga related to couple-endgame…..ETC.

#dgm #dgm pairing #D.Gray-Man #Lenalee Lee #lavi bookman #lavi x lenalee #lavilena #otp

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idnek83 · 3 years

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thinking abt danganronpa characters as tarot cards, are there any characters in particular you would assign to the major arcana (besides taka being justice because that feels a lil obvious lmao)

Gonna start this with the disclaimer that I got into tarot stuff for a d&d character and am definitely not an expert haha but yeah I can think of a few (Also I’m mixing upright and reversed meanings cus ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

The Fool: Makoto 100%, lots of naivety and blind faith and optimism y’know?

The Magician: I could see either Kaito or Soda here, because the magician represents skill but also like, poor planning and I think there was something about unmet potential? idk the vibes are just right lol

The High Priestess: Kyoko. Intuition? check. Wisdom? check. Withdrawn? Big ol’ check lol

The Empress: ... would it be too obvious to say Sonia?

The Emperor: Mondo. The whole emphasis on masculine power and authority mixed with an obsession with control AND a lack of discipline? That’s Mondo right there

The Hierophant: hmmmmm maybe Gundham? the whole spirituality and challenging the status quo thing kind of works... idk about this one... the vibes are off lol

The Lovers: idk y’all pick your favorite ship I guess lol

The Chariot: Honestly this one would fit Taka pretty well too... but lets see, maybe Hajime too? hmm...

Strength: SAKURA!!!! Courage, strength, compassion, emotion, and a little self doubt???? THATS MY GIRL!!!

The Hermit: Hmm another one I’m not really sure about... maybe Ryoma?

Wheel of Fortune: It’s Nagito.

Justice: Taka, that piece was totally right

The Hanged Man: Oh nvm this one is Hajime. The vibes said so.

Death: Shuichi probs. Death ain’t the scary card movies make it out to be, it’s just about change and transformation my dudes! (but also death fits Shuichi’s emo vibes lol)

Temperance: oof I feel like a lot of the girls fit here... My heart says Maki and idk why so just take it lol

The Devil: Junko but also Kokichi, slightly different reasons for each but they both definitely fit

The Tower: That’s just Danganronpa babey!

The Star: K-Kaito... cus... space... (but also he kind of fits lol) oh fuck me Soda fits here too, these boys have too many similar vibes... ok third option... uhhhh OH Aoi works pretty well here! Very optimistic but she falls into a bit of despair as well! yes! Aoi!

The Moon: oops all Sodas (Soda’s old self vs. his new fake persona 👀)

The Sun: Angie 100%

Judgement: Izuru maybe??? idk about this one

The World: lol it’s Rantaro cus I’m basic

Okay well there my 100% biased interpretation lol Y’all should feel free to respond with your thoughts cus I’m interested to see what everyone else thinks

#replies #brynfelan #danganronpa #ramblings

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golden-redhead · 4 years

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Heya,in my decade long dedication to a certain infamous needlemouse fandom, a certain rivalshipping's aspect that I found really fascinating is the "underlying dread to end up/become like them" (mostly one-sided from the more heroic character's end). As you're one who seems to be really literally and analytically knowledgeable, do you think that aspect can be found in the Oumota ship?

Oh, that’s an interesting question! I honestly have rather mixed feelings on this one, so excuse me if this answer will feel rather incoherent, it’s basically me rambling out loud in a stream of consciousness kind of way trying to sort my thoughts out and give you a - hopefully - satisfactory answer.

I think with Oumota this is kind of tricky, because they are both liars manipulating their perception of themselves in other characters’ eyes. So I don’t think it’s them really dreading that they could become like the other one, it’s more about how they both understand and NOT understand the each other due to being blindsided by those lies in one way or another. So what I mean is that I think there is something to it for sure, but it’s kind of... surface level? If that makes sense?

I think out of everyone in the game Oumota are both most likely to uncover each other’s lies and also canon-wise come about as close to it as possible. I think it’s obvious that they both feel some kind of resentment to each other but I think it’s more over those masks they both wear than anything else. A lot of what I’m saying here is based entirely on my own interpretations of these characters, so keep in mind that I am biased and I am relying less on canon (as canon gave us a pretty limited perspective here, both because of Shuichi’s POV and because of the nature of the game) and more on how I interpret these characters after over 2 years of analyzing them and writing about them. So what I mean to say is that they both dislike each other’s masks, they both dislike that persona that the other one tries to be, which is funny because in the end it boils down to the fact that what they really have a problem with is each other’s dishonesty. I think I made it quite clear many times that I truly believe that Kaito was as much of a liar as Kokichi if not more. I think Kokichi dislikes this mask that Kaito builds for himself, especially since he isn’t willing to admit that it’s all a lie (Kokichi himself is very upfront about his lies, as a contrast) and just continues to lie more and more as the game continues. I think Kokichi doesn’t trust him and honestly, for a good reason. Kaito is... pretty transparent, most of the time, and I like to think that Kokichi is good at reading people. He recognizes that this is just a persona of a brave hero who talks bullshit about how everything’s gonna be fine, while - from Kokichi’s perspective - not really doing anything and certainly nothing actually productive. And in turn, we see at points that Kaito calls bullshit on Kokichi’s lies and even genuinely seems to want to break through this facade - calling him pure, constantly arguing with him, chasing him in his free time, challenging him and his words, etc. I think that in a way in chapter 5 they kind of have to let go of any resentment they might feel towards each other and in turn they get a better look at who the person beneath the mask actually is.

I think what they really don’t want to be is to be like the mask the other one is wearing. It’s less about who they are at their core and more about those personas they both hide behind and it is frustrating for both of them.

Like, for Kaito the idea of being untrustworthy would be unbearable, you know? This is his whole thing. He gains people’s trust. He makes them rely on him. So becoming like Kokichi, isolated, always lying, being hated by everyone? This is everything Kaito would never want for himself, this is literally his worst nightmare when you think about it. Kaito is all about making this kind of connection and wanting to feel like he is needed. He would never want to be like Kokichi which I think on some level is why he’s so persistent about making him drop that mask, like, he is so frustrated with Kokichi most of the time because he refuses to believe that anyone would be like that.

And Kokichi, in turn, most likely sees Kaito’s fake honesty and the way he makes people rely on him as... Well, kinda dangerous? And considering what Maki does in ch5 then, well, for a good reason. Kaito is dangerous because he’s both predictable and not. He’s quick to jump into action, he has people who depend on him and have feelings to him, he is able to motivate people with his words and I think in many ways Kokichi sees it as something he would never be able to be and in the context of the killing game also as something that might be potentially a big problem because Kaito doesn’t think about the big picture. Meanwhile, Kokichi is constantly agonizing about the killing game, trying to solve it. I feel like he sees Kaito as irresponsible, especially with how Maki (who is dangerous due to her talent and poor temper) and Shuichi (the one who solves the trials, the only real asset they have) are so dependent on him. Kokichi sees his lies as useful, while Kaito from his perspective uses his simply to gain admiration and delude himself.

In a lot of ways this dread comes simply from who they are as people and not necessarily because they have something personal against each other, you know? The killing game just really doesn’t help here, because it probably 1. makes Kokichi’s paranoia worse and having someone as unpredictable and well, kind of influential (his relationship with Maki and Shuichi) as Kaito in a situation like this one is a formula for a disaster and 2. Kaito’s hero complex is likely to be a bigger issue in a killing game than it would be normally, because he really wants to be this person that others rely on, he wants to be the hero, he wants to prove himself and not only is not difficult but he’s also running out of time. He feels the pressure of time and so he becomes even more unpredictable and prone to lashing out, as we can see looking at his fight with Shuichi. So there’s this very apparent clash, because they both have their own ways of going around things and these methods are completely contradictory and stand in the way of achieving their goals.

I don’t think that would be that much of an issue outside of the game? It is a special kind of situation and I it certainly makes things worse, I feel like in a different scenario it would be more about silly banter and teasing and childish rivalry that is ultimately enjoyable for both of them, like Kokichi pranking Kaito and him chasing Kokichi everywhere. As it is, it’s a conflict of interests.

#oumota #kokichi ouma #kaito momota #oma kokichi #ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa kokichi #danganronpa kaito #danganronpa meta #meta #analysis #ndrv3 meta #ndrv3 analysis #I sure hope anything of it is at least somewhat coherent...#I'm sorry for my rambling

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ghoulciifer · 4 years

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submission:

@joonzreina: “hi tum, how are you?!. i wanna congratulate you on your 100 milestone!. keep up the good work!. if you don’t mind, may i please request a matchup with the hq boys only please?. i am she/her, straight, latina, and 5”0. i have light brown eyes, long dark curly brown hair, and curly bangs. my personality is described as wild, crazy, hilarious, hot tempered, blunt, sarcastic, brave, loyal, and kindhearted. i only have a 3 best friends that are like family to me. i will stand up for myself and them no matter what!. i’m a leader too. my hobbies consists of me watching anime, kdramas,/netflix, sleeping, eating, reading manga,webtoons, and astrology. i am a huge believer in astrology!. i love listening to rap/rnb and kpop!. i’m a very affectionate person too and who isn’t afraid of skinship. i would kiss my man on the lips all the time!. what i look for in a man is for him to respect me, who loves affection/skinship, tall, sweet, caring, funny, understanding, protect me, loves affection, and who will always be there with me through thick and thin. my aesthetic would be baddie vibes, like dark red colors, black, sexy colors, light pink, and just i don’t give a fuck vibes/bad bitch energy!. i’m 20 years old old so NSFW would be good to put!. my favorite color is pink and neon green!. thank you so so much tum, you’re such a sweetheart!. i hope you have a wonderful night!. take care hun!. i can’t wait to see what content you post!”

notes: firstly, thank you so much for your kind words, sweetpea 🥺 i love seeing your url in my notifs, your support means the world to me! i really hope you approve of this matchup, because much like the last one, bo was the first person i thought of after reading what you sent. thanks again for your sweet self and i hope to see you more ❥ drabble under the cut because it does include NSFW content!

why i matched you:

» i might be completely biased when saying this, but bokuto is literally the whole package when it comes to relationships. he will always be there for you, will always protect you, will love you unconditionally, etc. like there is not a single thing he wouldn’t do for you once you have him wrapped around your little finger.

» bokuto loves how passionate you are about your friends/family because he feels the same way about his loved ones. he knows you’d do anything for them, and finds it incredibly admirable that you’re willing to go through extreme lengths to protect them. he values loyalty a whole lot, so you’re a perfect partner for him in that aspect!

» your confidence and bravery are definitely somethings that attract him the most to you. we all know he’s got his lil’ “emo” moments, because in reality he does have the tendency to doubt himself and his abilities when faced with certain challenges he doesn’t know he’s ready for. but you’re always there to help him see how he is capable of facing those challenges! your own self confidence really pushes him to be the best he can possibly be, and he really idolizes you for that. even if there are times where you actually end up being the one to struggle, he’ll never fail to remind you how proud of you he is and how much he looks up to you!

» affectionate? bokuto’s got you covered. man LOVES having near constant skin-on-skin contact with you. whether it’s a hand wrapped around your waist/shoulders, fingers interlocked with his, or even resting his chin on your head, he’s gonna take advantage of any chance he gets to hold you. his favorite thing to do is come up behind you when you least expect it to wrap his arms around you, bury his nose in the crook of your neck, and whisper how much he missed you/loves you against your skin. the action never fails to make you smile.

» bokuto absolutely ADORES your aesthetic, he’s constantly in a state of “how can someone be so adorable yet so hot at the same time?”. because it’s true! your bad bitch persona really meshes well with your sweet n’ kind personality, and it definitely threw him for a loop at first. but now? baby he praises you CONSTANTLY. there’s not a day that goes by where he isn’t complimenting what you’re wearing, how your hair looks, how sharp your eyeliner is, etc. like he is your personal hypeman. and you DESERVE it.

» bokuto is really the kinda guy to keep you on your toes, but that’s just part of his appeal. there’s never a dull moment with him and he loves seeing you smile or giggle because of his antics. you really just make his heart melt like a marshmallow over a campfire with everything you do so he wants to make sure he’s enough for you with everything he does. he’s gonna give you his all no matter what - so make sure you’re prepared for that kinda commitment, because this boy will want to put a ring on your finger someday!

drabble:

“Kou, c’mon, I’m trying to finish this chapter!” You whine halfheartedly to your absolute brick wall of a boyfriend, who is currently laying open mouthed kisses at the space just between your neck and collarbone. Your attempts at pushing him away are futile, and you begin to wonder if he has always been this dense. Bokuto only chuckles at the gentle gasp you emit once his tongue pokes out to lave at your soft skin. Of course he would take advantage of your distraction with his muscular hold.

“Baby you’ve been saying that for the past half hour.” He shifts on the sofa to rest between your open legs, elbows perched on either side of you, thumbs doing god’s work at rubbing circles against your hips. You’d be lying if you said what he was doing wasn’t enticing, but…

“I-It’s just a long chapter, I can’t help it! Seriously, I only have a few more panels left.” Your bottom lip juts out into a pout, eyes wide in pleading. As antsy as Bokuto was to cover your entire body with his kisses, he can never say no to your sweet, sullen face. How could he? It always turns him into putty in your hands without fail. With a (fake) groan, he plants his cheek back against the surface between your breasts, arms looping around your frame just as they did before he started teasing you. That’s when an idea springs to the forefront of his mind. Oh, he’ll let you finish that chapter alright.

“Fine,” He huffs, turning his head so his chin is resting on your chest. His eyes burn into yours with a playful glint and an equally playful smirk plastered to his features, “you have 1 minute.”

“What?”

“Starting…” Bokuto’s grin grows impossibly wider, tongue peeking behind his pearly whites, “now.” And with that his skillful hands snake their way under your sweatshirt to feel as much of you as possible. Bokuto thanks his lucky stars that you opted out of wearing a bra today, making it much easier for him to trace his digits over your peaking nipples, calloused thumbs rolling sensually over each pebble. Your sharp intake of breath only spurs him on further - and your weak, breathy whimper encourages him to follow suit with his tongue trailing up your stomach, nimble fingers sliding the hem of your jumper upward to expose more of your heated skin to his merciless lips.

Suddenly the comic on your phone screen has no room for your attention as Bokuto’s ministrations demand all focus to his sinful lips, eliciting another mewl from your agape mouth. You quickly lock your screen and let your head fall back into the cushions once his tongue finally reaches your sensitive tits. The feeling only intensifies when he lets out another heated laugh in response, relishing in the way your back arches into him.

“Heh, that’s what I thought, baby.”

deadline for matchups is (08/29/20)! be sure to submit your entry before this date and check the tag #tumplaysmatchmaker to stay updated!

#tumplaysmatchmaker #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutaro #haikyuu matchup #haikyuu matchups #joonzreina #nishiikun’s events

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mindthump · 3 years

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Language supermodel: How GPT-3 is quietly ushering in the A.I. revolution https://ift.tt/3mAgOO1

OpenAI

OpenAI’s GPT-2 text-generating algorithm was once considered too dangerous to release. Then it got released — and the world kept on turning.

In retrospect, the comparatively small GPT-2 language model (a puny 1.5 billion parameters) looks paltry next to its sequel, GPT-3, which boasts a massive 175 billion parameters, was trained on 45 TB of text data, and cost a reported $12 million (at least) to build.

“Our perspective, and our take back then, was to have a staged release, which was like, initially, you release the smaller model and you wait and see what happens,” Sandhini Agarwal, an A.I. policy researcher for OpenAI told Digital Trends. “If things look good, then you release the next size of model. The reason we took that approach is because this is, honestly, [not just uncharted waters for us, but it’s also] uncharted waters for the entire world.”

Jump forward to the present day, nine months after GPT-3’s release last summer, and it’s powering upward of 300 applications while generating a massive 4.5 billion words per day. Seeded with only the first few sentences of a document, it’s able to generate seemingly endless more text in the same style — even including fictitious quotes.

Is it going to destroy the world? Based on past history, almost certainly not. But it is making some game-changing applications of A.I. possible, all while posing some very profound questions along the way.

What is it good for? Absolutely everything

Recently, Francis Jervis, the founder of a startup called Augrented, used GPT-3 to help people struggling with their rent to write letters negotiating rent discounts. “I’d describe the use case here as ‘style transfer,'” Jervis told Digital Trends. “[It takes in] bullet points, which don’t even have to be in perfect English, and [outputs] two to three sentences in formal language.”

Powered by this ultra-powerful language model, Jervis’s tool allows renters to describe their situation and the reason they need a discounted settlement. “Just enter a couple of words about why you lost income, and in a few seconds you’ll get a suggested persuasive, formal paragraph to add to your letter,” the company claims.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. When Aditya Joshi, a machine learning scientist and former Amazon Web Services engineer, first came across GPT-3, he was so blown away by what he saw that he set up a website, www.gpt3examples.com, to keep track of the best ones.

“Shortly after OpenAI announced their API, developers started tweeting impressive demos of applications built using GPT-3,” he told Digital Trends. “They were astonishingly good. I built [my website] to make it easy for the community to find these examples and discover creative ways of using GPT-3 to solve problems in their own domain.”

Fully interactive synthetic personas with GPT-3 and https://t.co/ZPdnEqR0Hn ????

They know who they are, where they worked, who their boss is, and so much more. This is not your father's bot… pic.twitter.com/kt4AtgYHZL

— Tyler Lastovich (@tylerlastovich) August 18, 2020

Joshi points to several demos that really made an impact on him. One, a layout generator, renders a functional layout by generating JavaScript code from a simple text description. Want a button that says “subscribe” in the shape of a watermelon? Fancy some banner text with a series of buttons the colors of the rainbow? Just explain them in basic text, and Sharif Shameem’s layout generator will write the code for you. Another, a GPT-3 based search engine created by Paras Chopra, can turn any written query into an answer and a URL link for providing more information. Another, the inverse of Francis Jervis’ by Michael Tefula, translates legal documents into plain English. Yet another, by Raphaël Millière, writes philosophical essays. And one other, by Gwern Branwen, can generate creative fiction.

“I did not expect a single language model to perform so well on such a diverse range of tasks, from language translation and generation to text summarization and entity extraction,” Joshi said. “In one of my own experiments, I used GPT-3 to predict chemical combustion reactions, and it did so surprisingly well.”

More where that came from

The transformative uses of GPT-3 don’t end there, either. Computer scientist Tyler Lastovich has used GPT-3 to create fake people, including backstory, who can then be interacted with via text. Meanwhile, Andrew Mayne has shown that GPT-3 can be used to turn movie titles into emojis. Nick Walton, chief technology officer of Latitude, the studio behind GPT-generated text adventure game AI Dungeon recently did the same to see if it could turn longer strings of text description into emoji. And Copy.ai, a startup that builds copywriting tools with GPT-3, is tapping the model for all it’s worth, with a monthly recurring revenue of $67,000 as of March — and a recent $2.9 million funding round.

“Definitely, there was surprise and a lot of awe in terms of the creativity people have used GPT-3 for,” Sandhini Agarwal, an A.I. policy researcher for OpenAI told Digital Trends. “So many use cases are just so creative, and in domains that even I had not foreseen, it would have much knowledge about. That’s interesting to see. But that being said, GPT-3 — and this whole direction of research that OpenAI pursued — was very much with the hope that this would give us an A.I. model that was more general-purpose. The whole point of a general-purpose A.I. model is [that it would be] one model that could like do all these different A.I. tasks.”

Many of the projects highlight one of the big value-adds of GPT-3: The lack of training it requires. Machine learning has been transformative in all sorts of ways over the past couple of decades. But machine learning requires a large number of training examples to be able to output correct answers. GPT-3, on the other hand, has a “few shot ability” that allows it to be taught to do something with only a small handful of examples.

Plausible bull***t

GPT-3 is highly impressive. But it poses challenges too. Some of these relate to cost: For high-volume services like chatbots, which could benefit from GPT-3’s magic, the tool might be too pricey to use. (A single message could cost 6 cents which, while not exactly bank-breaking, certainly adds up.)

Others relate to its widespread availability, meaning that it’s likely going to be tough to build a startup exclusively around since fierce competition will likely drive down margins.

Christina Morillo/Pexels

Another is the lack of memory; its context window runs a little under 2,000 words at a time before, like Guy Pierce’s character in the movie Memento, its memory is reset. “This significantly limits the length of text it can generate, roughly to a short paragraph per request,” Lastovich said. “Practically speaking, this means that it is unable to generate long documents while still remembering what happened at the beginning.”

Perhaps the most notable challenge, however, also relates to its biggest strength: Its confabulation abilities. Confabulation is a term frequently used by doctors to describe the way in which some people with memory issues are able to fabricate information that appears initially convincing, but which doesn’t necessarily stand up to scrutiny upon closer inspection. GPT-3’s ability to confabulate is, depending upon the context, a strength and a weakness. For creative projects, it can be great, allowing it to riff on themes without concern for anything as mundane as truth. For other projects, it can be trickier.

Francis Jervis of Augrented refers to GPT-3’s ability to “generate plausible bullshit.” Nick Walton of AI Dungeon said: “GPT-3 is very good at writing creative text that seems like it could have been written by a human … One of its weaknesses, though, is that it can often write like it’s very confident — even if it has no idea what the answer to a question is.”

Back in the Chinese Room

In this regard, GPT-3 returns us to the familiar ground of John Searle’s Chinese Room. In 1980, Searle, a philosopher, published one of the best-known A.I. thought experiments, focused on the topic of “understanding.” The Chinese Room asks us to imagine a person locked in a room with a mass of writing in a language that they do not understand. All they recognize are abstract symbols. The room also contains a set of rules that show how one set of symbols corresponds with another. Given a series of questions to answer, the room’s occupant must match question symbols with answer symbols. After repeating this task many times, they become adept at performing it — even though they have no clue what either set of symbols means, merely that one corresponds to the other.

GPT-3 is a world away from the kinds of linguistic A.I. that existed at the time Searle was writing. However, the question of understanding is as thorny as ever.

“This is a very controversial domain of questioning, as I’m sure you’re aware, because there’s so many differing opinions on whether, in general, language models … would ever have [true] understanding,” said OpenAI’s Sandhini Agarwal. “If you ask me about GPT-3 right now, it performs very well sometimes, but not very well at other times. There is this randomness in a way about how meaningful the output might seem to you. Sometimes you might be wowed by the output, and sometimes the output will just be nonsensical. Given that, right now in my opinion … GPT-3 doesn’t appear to have understanding.”

An added twist on the Chinese Room experiment today is that GPT-3 is not programmed at every step by a small team of researchers. It’s a massive model that’s been trained on an enormous dataset consisting of, well, the internet. This means that it can pick up inferences and biases that might be encoded into text found online. You’ve heard the expression that you’re an average of the five people you surround yourself with? Well, GPT-3 was trained on almost unfathomable amounts of text data from multiple sources, including books, Wikipedia, and other articles. From this, it learns to predict the next word in any sequence by scouring its training data to see word combinations used before. This can have unintended consequences.

Feeding the stochastic parrots

This challenge with large language models was first highlighted in a groundbreaking paper on the subject of so-called stochastic parrots. A stochastic parrot — a term coined by the authors, who included among their ranks the former co-lead of Google’s ethical A.I. team, Timnit Gebru — refers to a large language model that “haphazardly [stitches] together sequences of linguistic forms it has observed in its vast training data, according to probabilistic information about how they combine, but without any reference to meaning.”

“Having been trained on a big portion of the internet, it’s important to acknowledge that it will carry some of its biases,” Albert Gozzi, another GPT-3 user, told Digital Trends. “I know the OpenAI team is working hard on mitigating this in a few different ways, but I’d expect this to be an issue for [some] time to come.”

OpenAI’s countermeasures to defend against bias include a toxicity filter, which filters out certain language or topics. OpenAI is also working on ways to integrate human feedback in order to be able to specify which areas not to stray into. In addition, the team controls access to the tool so that certain negative uses of the tool will not be granted access.

“One of the reasons perhaps you haven’t seen like too many of these malicious users is because we do have an intensive review process internally,” Agarwal said. “The way we work is that every time you want to use GPT-3 in a product that would actually be deployed, you have to go through a process where a team — like, a team of humans — actually reviews how you want to use it. … Then, based on making sure that it is not something malicious, you will be granted access.”

Some of this is challenging, however — not least because bias isn’t always a clear-cut case of using certain words. Jervis notes that, at times, his GPT-3 rent messages can “tend towards stereotypical gender [or] class assumptions.” Left unattended, it might assume the subject’s gender identity on a rent letter, based on their family role or job. This may not be the most grievous example of A.I. bias, but it highlights what happens when large amounts of data are ingested and then probabilistically reassembled in a language model.

“Bias and the potential for explicit returns absolutely exist and require effort from developers to avoid,” Tyler Lastovich said. “OpenAI does flag potentially toxic results, but ultimately it does add a liability customers have to think hard about before putting the model into production. A specifically difficult edge case to develop around is the model’s propensity to lie — as it has no concept of true or false information.”

Language models and the future of A.I.

Nine months after its debut, GPT-3 is certainly living up to its billing as a game changer. What once was purely potential has shown itself to be potential realized. The number of intriguing use cases for GPT-3 highlights how a text-generating A.I. is a whole lot more versatile than that description might suggest.

Not that it’s the new kid on the block these days. Earlier this year, GPT-3 was overtaken as the biggest language model. Google Brain debuted a new language model with some 1.6 trillion parameters, making it nine times the size of OpenAI’s offering. Nor is this likely to be the end of the road for language models. These are extremely powerful tools — with the potential to be transformative to society, potentially for better and for worse.

Challenges certainly exist with these technologies, and they’re ones that companies like OpenAI, independent researchers, and others, must continue to address. But taken as a whole, it’s hard to argue that language models are not turning to be one of the most interesting and important frontiers of artificial intelligence research.

Who would’ve thought text generators could be so profoundly important? Welcome to the future of artificial intelligence.

#IFTTT #Feedly #good to know #tech #hmmm #TIL #science #future

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rabbitsparklez · 4 years

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✨sorry Im kinda late if you're still doing the ask thingy. anyway, what are some of your UNPOPULAR opinions?

No, it’s fine! I’m happy to get asks whenever :)

First of all, I’d like to apologize for the delay. It took me like 3 days to answer this because I added a lot. This was a LOT more elaborate than you asked for so uh...... enjoy?

I have a lot of conflicted opinions that I wouldn’t exactly call “unpopular”, but I also have several that I would. There is negativity in this post, and if you’d rather not read it, then please don’t.

Please do not comment or message me about these if you disagree. This is my blog, and if you generally disagree with my than I don’t know what you are doing here.

Thank you for the ask!

1. I kinda... almost.... hated “Buddy”.

Yes, it’s a really catchy song and a great blend of Zach and James’ voices, but it also serves as a reminder that the writers prioritized Cassandra’s importance over Eugene’s. I’m already not a fan of it when people use strong and mature characters in overly silly scenarios, but it makes my stomach churn to think that they would actually dare to ridicule Eugene to such a far extent in order to give Cassandra the spotlight, when her entire arc was written poorly despite all their costly efforts to give it to her. I know that Eugene didn’t intentionally fall under the influence of those flowers and he certainly would’ve done something had he been there when Rapunzel discovered the Moon Incantation, but honestly that just bothers me even more because Eugene had so much potential and they wasted it.

2. (I don’t know what’s gonna come of this) I don’t hate King Frederick. I’m very disappointed in him, but I don’t hate him. Everyone hates him because of his failure to handle a threat to the kingdom, and his rashness and dishonestly toward his daughter, and I both agree to a lot of it, but I don’t hate him.

I have no excuses for the fact that he lied about having the black rocks under control because he didn’t know what to do about them. As the king, it is his responsibility to consider what is best for his kingdom, and by lying about a major threat, he only caused the problem to get worse. The reason the black rocks came in the first place, however, is because he took the Sundrop to heal his dying wife and unborn child. I know it wasn’t the most prudent decision, and he did a horrible job cleaning up the mess he made afterwards, but he was desperate to save his family, and chances are likely that he didn’t have time to consider every aspect and consequence that taking the Sundrop would cause.

Regarding his actions towards Rapunzel, I hate the fact that he would dare consider locking his own daughter in her room to protect her from something that he’s not making any effort to fix. Treating people immorally harshly while saying it’s for their own good is toxic, and I want to make it clear that I am the last person to defend abusers, but I highly doubt that Frederick gingerly considered every aspect of locking his daughter in her room and how it would affect her. Rapunzel was kidnapped as a baby, and that gives two reasons why Frederick is so protective of her: the fact that he is her father and the pain and trauma in itself. Everyone takes trauma differently, depending on the person and the weight of the situation. I hate it when people who are clearly smart and strong enough to understand the situation use their traumas as an excuse to justify their actions, but some people are so devastated by their traumas that they completely lose themselves. Again, he logically wouldn’t have thought about every single thing he was doing and the trouble it would cause. He lost his baby girl. I’ve heard many times that losing a child is the worst pain imaginable, and you could only understand that pain if you experienced it. Perhaps he even felt responsible for the fact that his daughter was kidnapped because he thought that he wasn’t as protective as he should’ve been, and the idea of “making things right again” and protecting her was drilled so deeply into his mind. In addition to the pain that he went through and how that affected his judgments, Frederick had no parental experience whatsoever. All parents have to figure out who their children are and how they should handle situations. Doing this involves trial and error, tears and pain. As seen in the episode “You’re Kidding Me”, Rapunzel and Eugene both thought they knew how to treat children but both of them made errors due to the cooperation and sensitivity of the kids they were looking after - this applies to every parent and every child. Frederick was completely ad-libbed into parenthood, and his trauma from losing his child did not mix well with Rapunzel’s spirit of adventure and independence.

As a king, Frederick failed in his responsibility to do what is best for the kingdom, and I agree that he wasn’t justified for the actions he took (or didn’t take), and he was a jerk for lying about it; but as a father, I feel more sympathy for him because in his eyes, he was doing the right thing, even though we know that he wasn’t. People are so quick to justify Varian for his actions following his traumas, when he’s admittedly intelligent enough to understand them; but people are so quick to demonize Frederick for his actions following his traumas, when he’s clearly not intelligent enough to understand them. I don’t think that’s fair in the minimal sense and it still irks me how biased a lot of people were in this situation.

3. I’m not sure how “popular” or “unpopular” this one is considered, but I hated both Stalyan and Brock Thunderstrike. It takes a lot for me to actually hate a character, but considering how much they wronged Eugene, I can’t ever see them in a positive perspective.

Aside from almost killing Lance, Stalyan abused Eugene. When he was only 16, she tried to marry him so that he could be her partner in crime, and judging by the way she talked to him in BTCW, it’s likely that she manipulated him and constantly belittled his choices. (which is another reason I hate how they did that with the Cass arc, because he should be entitled to such a valid opinion). She called him by his fake last name and tried to pull him back into the past, showing that she gave no importance to his persona and development as a character. When he refuses to marry her, her dad poisons his best friend and forces Eugene to either let his best friend from childhood die, or leave his girlfriend - his closest companion who filled in his missing parts and helped him to know that he mattered. Afterwards, she brushed it of with “that was my dad’s idea, but bad guys have a flair for drama”, in the least sympathetic tone imaginable. She then locked him and his dying friend in prison until the wedding, and tried to convince him that he wasn’t good enough for the woman he loved. The writers could’ve used her as a way to understand Eugene’s insecurities and pain a little bit better, but they freaking REDEEMED her. She just went with Rapunzel on a little road trip where she decided “y’know what, you can have my ex boyfriend and I’ll move on! Tell him I said hi!”. We didn’t get a proper address that Stalyan likely had a role in damaging Eugene’s sense of importance and trust, but even worse, we didn’t get an apology. I can’t believe that they made Rapunzel deal with someone else’s abusive relationship, where she hardly understood what was actually going on. Stalyan never said another word to Eugene or apologized to him or Lance for what she had done to both of them. She married a guy that looks exactly like him in the end too! Instead of looking for someone new, she chose a guy who looks exactly like her ex, showing that she cared more about his looks than his inner self.

Speaking of her new boyfriend, I hated Brock Thunderstrike. Let’s just pretend that Eugene hasn’t already been sidelined and ridiculed for Cass, and make an almost exact copy of him, only without his flaws and development! Let’s make him look exactly like him, make him repeat every iconic action and line that he made in the movie in a flawless way, and make him steal his entire former identity! - THAT WAS SO STUPID! I can’t believe they actually did that! Eugene is one of the most meticulously created, personified, and multifaceted characters that Disney has ever created, but not only did they push him in the mud to give Cassandra space, but they created this idiot Mary Sue copy of him with no personification otherwise! In the end, just like Stalyan, he decided with no redeeming deeds or apologies that he would make a new person of himself.

They really make a good match, and that’s not a compliment.

4. I love Lance as a person, but not as a character - If that makes any sense.

I love that wholesome boy a lot, but I don’t like the way he was used in the show. I think that even he pitched in to the factors that flattened Eugene as a character in the show. First of all, it takes away some of the meaning of love and it’s necessity to Eugene’s life. We always thought that Eugene was a lonely, rejected child who needed love more than he realized, but it turns out he did, in fact, have a buddy who wasn’t just his partner in crime for years, but a close, brotherly figure. That contradicts the significance of Eugene’s childhood and life as an orphan. Secondly, Lance was often used as an object to distract Eugene and drag him into the stupid and nonsensical scenarios that prevented him from interfering with Rapunzel and Cassandra’s overly prioritized involvement to the plot of the episode. Don’t get me wrong. I love Lance and have nothing against him, but his role as a character could’ve been used in better ways.

5. Adira should have either had a larger or smaller role in the show.

When we were introduced to Adira in Season 2, she was the fairy godmother that always came when the squad was in distress. She could do everything: she is superhumanly strong and agile, can cook, can effortlessly cut down trees, can survive in the wilderness, knows everything, and is practically perfect. But considering her knowledge of the Sundrop and Moonstone and her past with the Dark Kingdom, I was disappointed that we couldn’t explore more of her character and personality. In Season 3, she just kind of vanished. Considering her amazing abilities, we could’ve explored her character and learned of her weaknesses and backstory in season 3, but we didn’t. She played a lot of parts in Season 2 but almost none in Season 3. I thought Adira was sort of a Mary Sue. She’s perfect on the outside, but we have little knowledge of the inside. To make her a better character, she could’ve either been brought into the light in Season 3, or not given as much attention in Season 2. Either way, she’s an unbalanced character. I like her, but she’s hollow.

6. I like Shorty.

He’s kind of pointless and it made me roll my eyes when he unintentionally saved the day when other characters *cough* Eugene *cough* could’ve done so, but he also made me laugh a lot. He’s an idiot but fairly harmless otherwise. Also, unlike a lot of things in the show, he’s in character. In the movie, it wasn’t out of character for Shorty to pop up in weird places or save the day without really knowing it (he was one of the ones who helped Eugene break out of prison). The Snuggly Duckling was a major point in the movie and we didn’t see a lot it in the show. While Shorty’s tagging along didn’t contribute anything to society, it kept the Snuggly Duckling present in the show.

7. As much as I love him, I’m not attracted to Eugene.

I think he’s handsome and charming, but I ship him with Rapunzel too much to be in love with him :). I would give anything to have a platonic friend like him, but maybe not a husband.

To be frank, I’m a little creeped out by people who seem to “fall romantically in love” with characters, because they sometimes........well let’s just say that they portray them in a way that makes me incredibly uncomfortable - if you know what I mean. This applies to all characters, but especially to the ones that I like.

8. Varian’s role was too invasive. You’re probably surprised at this, because a lot of fans seem to think that he didn’t get enough of a role and wasn’t put to his full potential. I agree that he is a very elaborate character with a lot of potential, but he was never intended to be a main character, and he shouldn’t have been given a larger perspective and more angst factors than the actual main characters.

After his villain arc, fans started hating Rapunzel because they had sympathy for Varian and accused her of not treating him well, which I hated. It is true that he was in a situation worth having pity on him for, but they expressed a lot more emotional impact from his perspective than from anyone else’s, thus fans only considered his feelings. Rapunzel was going through an extremely difficult time at that moment, too, but it was shown in a less dramatic and sympathyzable way. She almost lost her parents and the man she loved in a snowstorm, while for the first time when she had to make prudent decisions as a leader, the kingdom was in a state of distress. After the storm, her father continued to lie to her, and the reason she never helped him was because he convinced her that Old Corona was under control. All she wanted to do was stabilize herself in a calm state of mind, which was ok, because she didn’t realize that there was more trouble. Even so, she could hardly do so because she was still stressed and traumatized. If these things from her perspective were more clearly presented to the audience, there would’ve been less of a war in the fandom and there probably would’ve been sympathy from both sides. But they wanted to show things from Varian’s point of view, which was valid until he went feral. {He stated in the episode before the finale that he understood that Rapunzel “did what she had to”, and he is clearly intelligent enough to pull things together, but everyone used trauma as an excuse. If he could connive that entire plot where he would kidnap the queen, use a dummy of him, extract the Sundrop’s power, etc. then he clearly was in a sane enough state of mind to put things together, but he didn’t. In Season 3, he admitted that the reason he became a villain was because he had taken his anger too far, after realizing that he was wrong. }

Considering that Rapunzel is the main character and the writers expect us to feel sympathy for her, they should’ve at least made the situation less dramatic from Varian’s point of view. Chris Sonnenburg himself was annoyed with fans who sympathized more for Varian and watched the show for him instead of Rapunzel - but in a way it was his fault for the way he portrayed the situation. I agree with him in the sense that I was annoyed with Varian fans taking over the fandom and demonizing Rapunzel, but it was the crew’s own choice to make Varian such a likable character to so many people.

Although his redemption arc was handled well in my opinion, it was more focused on and important to the show than that of the Father of Tangled Redemption Arc’s - Eugene’s. His redemption arc is the backbone to the entire franchise, but the series didn’t take him seriously, so even though his redemption subtly fell in place in Season 1 especially, I was disappointed that he didn’t have a nice serious episode where his redeemed self shined in the light, while Varian, a secondary character, did. Although not to such an extent, Varian’s role, similar to Cassandra’s was prioritized in the show above the main characters’ and that bothers me.

9. I’d say this one is more under-acknowledged than unpopular, but Cassandra’s existence contradicted Rapunzel’s development rather than bringing out her characteristic “compassion”

Even after all of the horrible things Cassandra did to Rapunzel, to Eugene, and to the kingdom of Corona after deciding to turn evil, she was redeemed. Anyone would’ve stopped pitying her and left her behind, but Rapunzel still cared for her and let her be her friend again. Why? Because the writers tried so hard to convey the message that Rapunzel has compassion for everyone and anything that comes in her path.

It is true and in her character for Rapunzel to be compassionate and humane. The movie conveyed the message that Rapunzel, even after spending so many years unloved and mistreated, loves and has sympathy for everyone. She sees the good in everyone and everything, thus she is capable of redeeming those who have strayed. This characteristic of hers is what caused Eugene to leave behind his past self and find a new life. She didn’t fix him; she opened his soul and brought out the good person who had been hiding inside him for the longest time. The same thing happened to the thugs, other former thieves, and many others. Rapunzel’s compassion and love for others brings the best out of the unlikeliest of people. The way Glen Keane described it, Rapunzel is the representation of humanity.

However, Mother Gothel is the representation of everything that is an obstacle to Rapunzel and her freedom. She gaslight and objectified her by passively claiming that she loved her, and used her as an object to satisfy her own vanity. She never let her express her energetic and adventurous self by locking her inside, and when Rapunzel rebelled, she locked her in chains and took her to the dungeon. Rapunzel’s development can only grow if she is not stifled by chains and abuse, therefore she should avoid Mother Gothel at all costs. But who is this person who, three years later, Rapunzel tries to redeem? The very daughter of Mother Gothel, who is more like a reincarnation of her to be frank. She brought back what Rapunzel was supposed to leave behind. She condescended over her and shamed her for her underdeveloped tendencies before she even betrayed her. She constantly wanted more from her instead of accepting her who she was. She blamed her for her problems and victimized herself. Rapunzel is supposed to be past these things so that she can grow to be a strong and independent woman. Using Cassandra as a permanent villain who Rapunzel would fight against would define her as a developed woman who has moved on from her traumatic past - but it wasn’t like that. Rapunzel pined onto Cassandra despite everything she put her through. The writers tried to use this situation as a way to bring out Rapunzel’s compassion, but it contradicted her self independence and strength.

Rapunzel and Cassandra’s relationship was a toxic one, and it shouldn’t have been portrayed as a good thing at any time in the show, because of it’s disintegration of Rapunzel’s development. Rapunzel is both compassionate and resilient, but because of how poorly the writers handled this, they contradicted both of her character tendencies. It looked more like schizophrenia to be honest: One day Rapunzel resents Cassandra for her actions and fights her with a powerful incantation to keep her away from Eugene; the next day, she sings a song mourning their friendship and expressing how much she wanted her to come back.The way a character’s personality traits are presented is very important. Imagine that you’re at a restaurant where every item uses the same ingredients, but is arranged and composed in a different way. A burger on a bun with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and ketchup would be delicious and appealing; however, a hamburger and cheese smoothie with chunks of lettuce and tomatoes floating in it and ketchup drizzled on top would be nauseating and a horrible idea (sorry for the ridiculous comparison but hopefully it gets the point across). Even though the two items have the same composition, one of them works and the other doesn’t. Rapunzel is both compassionate and resilient, but the writers made a contradicting mess out of these two tendencies because they made them clash.

10.. It annoys me when people think Eugene overreacts to things. He’s neither whiny nor childish. He’s a realistic person in a crazy world, who can’t help but be upset about certain things.

Let’s face it, he’s been through a lot, and all things considered, he’s very tolerant and resilient. He’s the most realistic character in terms of skepticism and trust issues, and that’s something I’ve always loved about him. In situations where nobody’s in danger and things are fairly normal, he tends to “overreact” to minor things, but in dangerous and serious situations, he is the first person to stand up and help people. If he was a shrimpy, whiny wimp who can’t handle things, he wouldn’t have willingly died to save someone, led a rescue squad to save the king and queen in a dangerous situation, decided to live with his former abuser to save someone who was dying, or willingly accepted his role as a captain and lead the safety of the kingdom.

If you were abandoned by your father and ended up as a poor orphan who became a criminal to fend for yourself, it’s only human to not immediately feel inclined to accept him into your life, especially considering his apparently whimsical and unconcerned personality. By the end of the episode, he himself realized that his father kept in touch with him and by the end of the show, came to understand his motive for abandoning him. Nobody forced him to see the good in his father. He realized it by his own effort. When his father gave him a gift at the end, he was the first to hug him, showing that he had come to accept him willingly.

If for generations, your family has dedicated and lost their lives to destroying a dangerous object that has caused a lot of deaths and destruction, and you break your trust with your girlfriend to protect her from it; then when you finally allow her to take it when her jealousy-driven handmaiden takes it with every intention to kill her - of course you are going to resent that woman and be upset that your girlfriend still cares about bringing her back, (especially considering you weren’t keen on her in the first place). Even though Cass didn’t deserve it, he still patiently put up with and respected Rapunzel’s opinion of her despite obviously still disliking her. That doesn’t show that he was happy about it, but that he patiently tolerated situations that he didn’t agree with.

Imagine that the only comfort and security that you had for 15 years was your fake reputation as a different character, despite knowing it wasn’t a good one, and you find it difficult to let him go because you still can’t help but wish you were as established and “successful” as he was. Then some cocky twerp that looks exactly like you comes along, dresses exactly like you and uses the same name as you did, and repeated everything that you were proud to accomplish but only better, and is liked by your friends better than you ever were. Despite the fact that your former identity wasn’t a good one, it was the only thing you had and the only thing you could find pride and joy in because you had a low self esteem about your actual self. I can certainly say that if I met someone like Brock Thunderstrike but a copy of me instead of him, I wouldn’t be happy at all. But in the end, although he obviously resented and was jealous of him, Eugene disinterestedly told him that he saw potential in him, and allowed him to find his own identity.

Eugene is one of the most realistic characters that I’ve ever seen, but he lives in unusual circumstances that he’s not used to. There’s nothing wrong with the fact that he can’t immediately see something, because all’s well that ends well - and in the end, he always makes a just decision.

{There was one more that I wanted to post but I thought it would be too conflicting so I didn’t.}

If you agree with some of these but not others, that’s fine! After all, these are unpopular opinions and I’d be lucky if anyone agreed with them.

Again, thanks for the ask!

#TTS #Tangled the Series #RTA #Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure #Rapunzel #Eugene #Mother Gothel #anti cassandra #negativity on cassandra #slight negativity on varian and adira #anti stalyan #King Frederick #Shorty #rabbitsparklez #unpopular tts opinions #explainmybrain #unpopular opinions

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promisenolies · 5 years

Text

So... I never want to forget what BTS Chicago Night One was like... the pictures and video will help that I got.. but I wanted more. Something concrete...so I wrote this:

I have sincere doubts that I’ll ever be able to accurately describe what going to BTS’s Speak Yourself show in Chicago on May 11, 2019 meant to me. Part of being able to convey why it was such a life-altering experience for me would include y’all having an understanding as to why I love these guys so much, what their music, and general existence means to me. And that, is a task that is beyond my capabilities…but I’ll try.

I didn’t know what I was missing. I shrugged my daughter off when she’d try to tell me about them or get me to listen to their music. I didn’t understand why anyone would listen to music outside of their native language. How do you even enjoy it? But then…in July…I heard Fake Love on the radio while on my way to a Hanson String Theory show. Something about it called to me. I jumped in and started reading lyrics (as the message is always my number one concern—after having a good groove/sound) …and I fell in love. –Do you know how hard it is to find a great beat and fat bass WITHOUT sexually degrading lyrics? Damn near impossible until BTS for me. Instead of ‘bitches, hos, money, drugs, and pimping’ they’re singing about chasing dreams, rejecting status quo, finding home with those you love and who love you, about love, relationships, and connection. They sing a wide range—pop, pop/rock, rap, hip-hop…it keeps my many moods quite satisfied. Their music fully transcends language. You can just FEEL it, so deeply, so wholly, you don’t need to know every last word to get the message.

Then, I fell in love with THEM. I fell in love with their message of loving ourselves, speaking our truths, of not trying to meet anyone else’s expectations, to do what makes YOU happy. They are so engaged, humble, gracious, and kind. They’re funny and dorky. They’re reflective and intellectual. They’re driven and talented.

Yes, they’re a “boy band.” Yes, they dance and wear ‘costumes.’ But these boys also write and produce their own stuff (with others as well…but still—active participants!) and always sing live. They give 110% for a minimum of two hours-even to the point of getting sick/passing out/injuring themselves.

And the fan base!! Holy mother! Sure I feel a little isolated here in small town MN in my love for these boys (aside from my kid, my cousin’s kid, and a few friends of theirs) but the fan base is MASSIVE. And incredibly welcoming (for the most part). There’s drama of course—I mean, there are at least 20 million of us. But it’s pretty easy to stay out of and find people to connect with. It’s one thing to know there’s a network of us online… it’s a completely different thing to experience it.

Which, I guess, brings me to this past weekend. After a roughly 8 hour drive, we arrived in Chicago. Right away, the streets were sprinkled with ARMIES—BTS and BT21 gear proudly worn and displayed. A sense of belonging and home seeped in. And that’s not a new sensation for me, as I’ve felt that every time I went to Tulsa, or Back To The Island or any other Hanson event/show. It’s a beautiful feeling. We got checked in and decided to head to Soldier Field as the merch lines were already open and apparently essentially non-existent. The field area had a small number of ARMY milling about, nothing too crazy. We stopped and took a picture of a few BTS banners, then found the merch area. And yeah, after less than a half hour later we were at the front of the line, mostly certain of our merch choices. I pretty much wanted it all, but had to limit myself. We wandered a bit more, and that’s when it finally started to sink in…I was in the same city as seven men who had altered my emotional well being over the last 10-11 months, I would be seeing them LIVE in around 12 hours. I was quickly overwhelmed and started to cry. It feels somewhat embarrassing to say, and I don’t even fully understand what it was that overwhelmed me so much. The rest of the evening was pretty chill—grabbed some dinner and mentally tried to prepare ourselves for the next day.

The next day we went back down to Soldier field—equipped with layers and an umbrella because the weather was turning cold and rainy. When we arrived we knew we made the right call by going to get merch the afternoon before because the merch line was RIDICULOUS – we’re talking thousands of people in line. There were multiple merch locations—all with the same size lines! But we wanted to get pictures done at the BTS Studio – a very neat little booth where you get to “interact” with one of the guys via a sort of hologram like thing, but the pictures turn out so freaking legit I was dying to get one. ….however….BigHit/Mattel (I don’t know who made this call..but!) cut off the general line after we waited for two hours. There were at least a couple hundred more behind us waiting, as well as about a hundred in front of us, and there were five hours left before doors opened to the stadium so it literally made ZERO sense to cut the line. BTS SOLD OUT Soldier Field (roughly 70,000 seats) and they only allowed 250 general people into the studio (there were more QR holders—which tons of ARMY tried for an only a few got) … it was a disaster. I suppose I would have been less angry had it not been so ungodly COLD out. We certainly did not plan for 40 degree weather in MAY.

We decided to hop an Uber and go back to the hotel until showtime. After lunch we drove downtown to check out the BTS Pop-up Store situation, and then made a quick decision to avoid that line as it literally wrapped around an entire downtown Chicago city block – INSANE—but beautiful. So, back to the hotel. The weather was not clearing up, and I was starting to worry about the show—both for our comfort but also and more importantly the guys’ safety. Wet stages are slippery and these boys don’t hold back, the risk of injury was high. So, we joked and tweeted a bit about how Yoongi (Suga) needed to say out loud that he wanted the rain to stop and skies to clear because anything Yoongi says out loud tends to happen – saying he wanted BTS to win daesangs (Korean absolute top awards – they now have 15 from 2016 to 2018) saying he wanted to go to the Grammys (and they presented at this year’s Grammy Awards) saying he wanted Billboard top 200 (done) Billboard top 100 (done) A Billboard Music Award (done x4 – three top social artist and this years top group award). So we called on Yoongi to say he didn’t want the rain… and while the boys may have said it was the power of ARMY that cleared the skies I still say it was Yoongi.

When we got into the venue another rush of realization hit me when I saw how CLOSE to the stage we were. I may have missed out on the VIP tickets (thanks to the stupid ticketmaster app freezing on my phone) but level 100 was INCREDIBLE. Absolutely astounding really. We got our ARMY Bombs paired to our seats and then waited. They play music videos while we wait, and it was amusing to have fans scream for those as well – and indicative of how insane it was going to be once all the fans were in and seated because it was loud even with just around a few thousand inside. My brain still couldn’t quite comprehend that I was about to see BTS live, that I was as close as I was, and that it wasn’t a dream.

The thing about it is…once it started, I had no idea what to do. Do I watch the stage, do I watch the screen, do I not try to capture any video or pictures and just dance, sing, and scream? I tried to do all of those options, but I still feel like I missed so much. I feel like it all went so quickly.

They opened with DIONYSUS – from their new album Map of the Soul: Persona. A heavy hitting, party-anthem type song. A great opener to get the crowd hyped up (as if we needed the help) The pyrotechnics warmed it up a bit when they went off (holy shit we really were close!) The stage was amazing! Large silver leopards behind them, Greek pillars adorning the sides…totally fitting of Dionysus.

They transitioned straight into NOT TODAY—another heavy hitter for bass, power, and intense choreo. Theses guys BURST into their stage presence, taking no prisoners and leaving us all breathless and trembling. The sensation of hearing tens of thousands of other fans screaming with you, singing with you, and doing fan chants for the guys…well, that’s a feeling I’ve never felt before.

My first round of tears started when they did their introductions/welcome speeches. Let’s be honest, I’m Jimin biased through and through. He will always hold the biggest part of my heart out of the seven. And, honestly, I thought he was the most beautiful being I’d ever seen…but to see him in person…holy mother, there is no comparing it. He’s absolutely ethereal. An angel just walking among us. But each of their moments touched me, made me smile or laugh or just bask in the feel of love they send to us. And then…WINGS. I was so excited to know that they were performing Wings as it’s one of my favorite songs and I worried I’d never hear it live since it’s an older one. My teary-eyed state did not go away once they started it, even though it’s an upbeat song. There’s just something about BTS singing about facing fears and chasing dreams, having their wings spread and taking them to where they want to go…feeling that it was the work of ARMY helping them get there…but I know for a fact that ARMY also feel that BTS are our wings too—the way we feel encouraged and empowered to live authentically and without apology, to chase dreams and find our passions.

A small break and then we got J-Hope’s solo JUST DANCE Hobi is a great entertainer, clearly loves the stage and his passion for dance is legitimately felt through the entire stadium. After J-Hope we got an iconic performance of EUPHORIA by Jungkook. Kookie is stunning! Absolutely beautiful. He goes from adorable baby bunny to professional rockstar in half a second. His vocals are solid and his choreo locked down. But who thought up the crazy idea of hanging onto a giant hook-like-thing and just soaring over the crowd on a cable!? My mama bear heart struggled with that, fam. But he did great and seems to really enjoy it so we’ll let it pass.

BEST OF ME!! Ugh, another song I was DESPERATE to hear live and worried I never would. A stellar performance! The energy was still high with them and us, everyone singing along and dancing. So many of their songs are “one of my favorites” but this one definitely is. And I was GIDDY hearing it live. And yes, the answer call between Jimin and Jungkook was a highlight.

Clear the stage, play a quick video… and then… SERENDIPITY. This experience STILL feels like it didn’t happen. Jimin singing live… wow… just… I lack words to express Jimin and his performance. His choreography is always some of the most intricate and demanding and yet he does it flawlessly while maintaining his angelic vocals. He didn’t get the title main dancer by chance. The level of professionalism is incredible. You can tell he feels so loved by ARMY, his smile is so genuine and gracious as he’s absorbing all our cheering and screaming…and yeah, maybe a little bit of sobbing. He’s a soft, sweet person and an absolute powerhouse on stage—even with a ballad such as Serendipity.

And then RM brings us back up in energy with his solo LOVE. They’re all great performers, and RM is no exception. It’s hard to capture a good picture of him because he’s constantly moving on the stage, making rounds to every corner. Another beautiful moment to be chanting “salam salam salam (person person person) and salang salang salang (love love love)” with tens of thousands of fans… it’s quite overwhelming.

BOY WITH LUV is like a blur for me. They all looked AMAZING. I loved the mix of pink and blue clothing. I probably missed a ton of moments through that song because my brain short circuited, I tried to get some pictures but the movement is so constant that not many of them turned out. Strong vocals, a ton of fun together, an all around great performance.

From the newest to some old school – DOPE followed Boy With Luv. I love the energy and power in Dope. I also loved the cute little moment I got on video between Jimin and Jungkook. Dope blended into BAEPSAE and FIRE … this medley is INSANE. I LOVE watching the guys freestyle their dancing and then effortlessly joining formation and nailing the song’s choreography. It’s stupidly impressive. JHope jumped out and attacked us all with some power dancing and then the dreaded/desired hip thrusting.

I got absolutely zero pictures or video from IDOL because I was so enraptured by them on stage. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. It was pretty neat as Idol faded out, they went back to the top of the stage then went full in to the Idol choreography again. Like a second dance break when it appeared the song was over. Another small break and then Tae (V) comes out in pajamas on a freaking bed. The crowd lost their minds. It was a stunning performance of SINGULARITY, and I’m really hoping I can find video of the small dance break he has in it where he flung off the jacket. Sometimes Tae fades a little into the background but this performance wasn’t one of those times.

After Singularity we got a seamless transition into FAKE LOVE—another song I have zero pics or video from because the whole thing was an experience. Seriously. Damn. From the strong, solid vocals to the hard hitting, precise choreo, to the passionate fan chants…Fake Love was perfection. …And do I really need to mention Jungkook’s abs? Oofta. I was utterly enraptured by this performance. Also, since Fake Love was the comeback I came into the fandom during, it holds a unique place in my heart.

I don’t remember Fake Love ending, but I do remember the next song starting. SEESAW. Shit. Again, I shall remind you that Jimin is by bias—always has been always will be. But I’d be a bold-faced LIAR if I tried to say that Yoongi isn’t the most amazing performer I’ve ever seen. They are all phenomenal. But Yoongi has something extra. Something you don’t expect from him. He often flies a little under the radar, not often the highlight of red-carpet appearances or interviews, fairly soft-spoken. But when he hits the stage—watch out! Min Yoongi was BORN to be on stage. Even with a softer song, and less intense choreography Suga owns it. He commands all attention. He’s claimed in the past that he can’t “sing”, since he’s a rapper, but Seesaw (and First Love—his solo from Wings) prove otherwise. Gorgeous. I was speechless, and a bit teary watching him.

And if I wasn’t already an emotional mess by then, Jin gets the stage to perform EPIPHANY. Oh my heart!! This was a song that when I first heard it, my heart and soul KNEW it was intense and it touched me instantly. And then, when I listened again with subs/lyrics I had a little bit of an emotional breakdown. Epiphany live was like the first time all over again. And to be surrounded by tens of thousands of other fans singing “I’m the one I should love…” Well, cue me crying. A message of needing to love yourself before being able to find love with anyone else…well that’s a message we all need to take to heart. A stellar performance. An emotional experience.

But then! Then you know what they did!? When we’re already emotional hot messes? They go into THE TRUTH UNTOLD. Whhyyyy!? Why would you do that to us!? The Truth Untold is a transcendent song, no way around it. A song about feelings of inadequacy, of being rejected if people knew who we really were, hiding behind masks because we’re so afraid… God, just rip out my heart. And our dear vocal line (Jimin, Jungkook, Jin, and Tae) were so lovely and beautiful and somber. The song has no choreo, no fancy stages… just four guys singing their absolute hearts out.

Cue the rap line (Suga, RM, and JHope) coming to pull us from our emotional state with OUTRO: TEAR. Oh lord, as it started there was a woman the row behind us who asked her friend, “what song is this?” and her friend was so offended! She screamed, “Tear, bitch!” It was slightly hilarious. All three rappers dominate the stage, and having never been to a live rap show before, I gotta say the ability to maintain the flow at the speed they do is impressive. TEAR flowed into MIC DROP and ooooooh how I lost my mind! MIC DROP was the song that really got me to jump into the BTS scene head first. It’s always been a favorite, will always be a favorite. I tried to get video, but I couldn’t stop dancing so it’s pretty bad video. (also, no one wants to hear my horrible voice fan chanting and singing along) The choreography to MIC DROP kills me. The choreo (and the song itself) just screams “we’re badass and we have no apologies” so get on board or get the hell out.

A small pause so that they could set up the guys’ giant Anpanman bounce house! ANPANMAN has always been a fun song and a great live performance, but it hit a new level when you get to watch the guys play on a giant bounce house. It’s easy to forget how young they all are and how much of their youth they kind of missed out on as they chased this dream. I mean, Jungkookie is only 21 now, was 15 when they debuted. Jin, the oldest is only 26 and was 20 at debut. They lost a lot of freedom and playful years as they trained for debut. It’s freaking adorable to watch them play on stage. Even cuter when Yoongi goes from savage rapper in MIC DROP to soft and playful on the inflatable. Jungkook chased Jimin to the top, did a little dance and then they slid down (JK after Jimin though I think he had wanted to go down together)

Anpanman transitions into SO WHAT which is truly a sight to see. No set choreo, just the guys dancing along every last inch of the stage to spread their love to everyone in the stadium. Playful moments, a lot of laughter. It’s BTS being authentically them. And I love it.

We all got a bit emotional during the closing speeches. Jin being classic Jin and screaming AARRRMMMYYYY at us, “today is so cold, you know…thank you for coming out today even though it’s cold and rainy, I’d like to hug you with my warm heart” (and he hugs JK) “I actually really hate being cold, I was so happy though because I was with you, Army. I LOVE YOU ARMY!!” Jimin showing us how floored he was by our presence, soaking in our cheers—eyes wide and smile bright. “I’m so so happy today. But! I hope you guys don’t catch a cold.” He then essentially points a finger at us, daring our immune systems to go against his wishes. (the screams overtake the next part of his speech so I’m not positive as to what he said) Jimin always finishes with “I love you” and lots of hearts. Jungkook and his adorable bunny smile, acted shy when it was his turn. He starts with “…It’s been awhile. I know it’s was rainy and cold, rainy and chilly…but you warmed my heart. I hope you also felt warm energy from us. One more thing, please, don’t catch a cold. Alright? See you all again!” Suga – commanding the stage once again. “Chicago make some noise! I heard it’s actually really cold in Chicago but I didn’t know it was going to be this cold. But because of you Army, you guys melted this place. Chicago make some noise! Today’s going to be such an unforgettable day. Thank you so much for coming out today, see you tomorrow!” JHope: “My lovely Chicago!! Did we have fun today? Since it was raining hard, and cold, I was worried for you all. However, as I was watching all of you, having fun, with your smiles on your face, my worries disappeared and I gained my power back. Army, you guys are my hope, you’re my hope, thank you so much Army Chicago, see you tomorrow.” Tae: “How you feeling Chicago? Make some noise. A few days ago I had a dream about chasing some stars and this scenery was exactly my dream. I really wanted to chase and make sure to grab a star. I want to keep this scenery forever (Tae fooled me and I thought his speech was over so my video stopped)…ssshhhh…we will come again next year!” RM: (gets bundled up by Tae, fans chant KIM NAMJOON) “My parents are gonna love this.” (in response to the chanting) “Guys, welcome to the first BTS winter concert. You might catch a cold, it’s freezing but whatever, it’s special right!? It’s fresh. It’s Chicago. Is the weather a serious problem for us? So right before we get onto the stage, like during the sound check, um while we were coming to the stage it was raining a lot and like these friends and every staff were so worried that it was raining and maybe we might do the little dance not very good, so we were worried, but I told them ‘don’t worry Chicago army is going to stop the rain.’ And you guys did! Seriously you guys gave us a miracle and I love this special weather in Chicago. So when the snow comes in Korea I’ll definitely think of Chicago. …”

And then they came right for my heart and soul performing MAKE IT RIGHT and MIKROKOSMOS. Two of my absolute favorite songs off the new album. Sweet, personal, emotional. And the realization that this euphoric experience was coming to an end and I started to lose my composure during MIKROKOSMOS. “Shine, dream, smile” …always for you boys, always for you.

It was around this time that Jimin stood at the corner of the stage facing my section and started to blow kisses. And I teared up because somehow, in a crowd of thousands of people the way Jimin sends his love into the crowd every last one of us feels like the ONLY one of us at that moment in time. You just FEEL the pure love emanating from him...and it’s a feeling unlike any other. A feeling I’ll never forget.

I still don’t think, almost 4000 words later, that I’ve even scrapped the surface of how incredible that night was for me. How touched I was not just by the band, but by being surrounded by thousands upon thousands of people of all ages, races, nationalities, sexual orientations, classes, genders who love them just as much as I do. BTS is so much more than seven beautiful men who dance well. BTS is connection and love. BTS is inspiration and encouragement. BTS isn’t a phase, they’re making an impact far beyond what anyone imagined. Music with a message? It’s been far too long since we’ve had that. BTS is like a long drink of fresh water after being stranded in a desert.

BTS – Seven lights in an otherwise dreary and sad world, reminding us to find our own lights and share it with the world.

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 5 years

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Grand Titans Rewatch: 1.01

so! i only really got into the show around the 6th episode, which means that while i was intrigued by the first five, i didn’t really pay a lot of close attention the first time ‘round. so i’m going to try and rewatch the entire series over the next several weeks and bring you Thoughts, because um. well. I Will Have Them.

SPOILERS for pretty much the entire series, though i will be covering only the pilot episode in this post. let’s see how this goes.

1. i’m just such a sucker for eerie dreamscapes, so i’m definitely biased when i say that this is a promising start. what’s really intriguing, though, is rachel dreaming of dick’s past well before she’d met the guy. after eleven episodes, the extent and even the very nature of rachel’s powers is still nebulous; this ability to dream about people she hasn’t even met only comes up this once, as far as i remember. (again, my initial viewing was superficial, so i might’ve missed it coming up/referenced again.)

1.5. a doylist explanation for this? hint at a special relationship between rachel and dick right off the bat, set the tone for the rest of the series, establish a character-development-by-dreamscape precedent, give us a gander at the origin story of the most iconic character in the ensemble, and set the broader arc of the season—an acceptance of and an ascent out of inner darkness—in motion with these two characters.

an in-universe search for an answer is potentially more interesting, however: why should these two be connected? i like to think that trigon’s influence started here, pushing rachel further and further down the path that would lead her to free him. i mean, handwaving aside the comic-booky implausibility of trigon foreseeing the exact pattern of random events that would lead to the moment rachel pulling him out of the mirror in 1.10 (he’s an interdimensional being! i don’t know! *flails hands*), i like the symbolism of it: both batman and trigon as phantom fathers that rachel and dick run away from, only to be pushed together. this is not to imply any broader equivalency between trigon and bruce wayne, of course; but it goes some way in explaining why this dick is especially traumatised and brutal, and why it would’ve had to be an especially traumatised and brutal bruce wayne that taught him everything he knows.

1.6. HAH at the ‘flying’ in the ‘flying graysons’ sign fizzling out just before the rope snaps, tho! so corny but also so upsetting.

(‘so corny but so upsetting’ – a valid tagline for titans)

1.8. oh but the set-up around rachel is so intriguing, tho! this is both the greatest strength and the greatest pitfall of the show: each of its characters can occupy a genre show of their own; because the first three episodes focus so heavily on rachel, it seems like the tone of the show changes when the titans finally get together, and like a lot of interesting, painstakingly slow set-up for rachel is just dropped and wasted.

2. the first glimpse we get of dick grayson is in the rearview mirror of his car. FUCK. i’m going to start a count.

MIRRORS, MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: 1

Ok. things i love about this little two minute introduction to dick grayson:

a) look at this broody asshole. i love him so much.

b) right away we have this push-pull re: his robin identity. he hates it, resents it, but can’t quite let it go. his officer grayson persona isn’t enough for all the evil in the world, even if it means losing control and falling farther and farther down a spiral of self-loathing.

c) he’s so damn mired in crime and tragedy, tho: officer grayson by day, vigilante robin by night. MAKE A FRIEND, DICK. GET A BEER, DICK.

(so true to character, tho: a suffering dick grayson is usually a determinedly self-isolated dick grayson.)

d) AMY ROHRBACH! i refuse to believe they’d just unceremoniously kill off such an iconic character. i fully expect to see her in s2.

e) “you do your thing. i’ll do mine.” a poorly functioning dick grayson picking up unhealthy coping cues from his mentor.

f) i love how implicit it is that gotham is a carnival of unending horror among the officers in the precinct, and probably every other city in america.

3. the clawmarks on rachel’s mother, tho! fuck, i wish they’d carried over more of this eeriness in the second half of the season. oh, and also:

MIRRORS, MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: 2

i realise why we had to get a move on with the plot, but i can’t help but wonder if we could’ve gotten an even slower build-up to rachel’s powers, because honestly? i know you’re lying, i always know when you’re lying, and the vicious slut! in the school bus window? actually more unsettling than watching rachel liquefy some baddie from the inside.

(tho. um. don’t get me wrong. that’s plenty disturbing, too.)

4. conflicted!brooding!vigilante!dick, here to chase away the images of dead women splayed over living room floors with bullet holes in their heads.

4.5. the fight scene was brutal, sure—but to be fair, most of batman/robin’s fights teeter on the fine line between causing enough damage to keep the bad guys down for a bit and outright brutality. it’s difficult to bring that to life on screen (in a series that touts to inject grittiness/realism into proceedings, no less) and portray a robin who’s definitely crossing some lines without going into some real brutal territory.

4.6. so far i’m loving how economical the storytelling is when it comes to dick—how quickly it’s established, then underscored, how being robin is so important to him and the last thing he wants. his curdling resentment at the thugs immediately looking for batman the moment they see him, and his inability to move on from being the other half of batman-and-robin. he feels compelled to play both parts at once when he’s fighting, and he hates it. all of these things are playing out right underneath stretched-too-thin skin, jagged and awful and ugly.

4.65. and the editing and sound choices keep emphasising how this is not dick in his natural state—how, in a lot of ways, robin is not his natural state anymore.

4.8. dick, brooding in his open-plan apartment, broodily listening to vinyl records and cleaning his armour of blood, while brooding. did i mention that i love this asshole?

(i don’t know where the bruises came from, considering that it seemed like the thugs couldn’t get a single hit in during the fight.)

MIRRORS, MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: 3

4.9. a dick timeline: the zucco thing happened, what, two years ago? robin hasn’t been seen in over a year. and dick moved to detroit a month ago. hmmmm.

5. rachel’s alter-ego-self as a manifestation of her powers continues to be fascinating. as is the fact that that alternate self appears less and less as she grows more accepting of what’s inside her and learns to control her abilities.

5.25. so, what, was sally a part of the cult that wants to kidnap rachel specifically, or just a Bad Person in general?

5.5. “you got that thing for helping kids” – i love that dick has this reputation barely a month into his time in this department. like. this guy is broody and closed-off and clearly traumatised, but hey, he’s good with kids!

MIRRORS, MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: 4

5.8. “you’re the boy from the circus” is super-dramatic and all, but how did rachel recognise adult!dick when she’s only seen kid!dick in her dreams? and also, why did she dream of dick at all?

5.99. side note: officer!dick’s hair is the best. it never gets better than this for the rest of the season at least until he becomes trigon’s demon acolyte.

6. KORY!

6.5. so… did the car accident cause the amnesia? do we ever find out why exactly she couldn’t remember anything about who she is? she doesn’t look injured; just dazed.

6.6. her passport was issued in 2014—so she’s been here a while, searching, researching. or not, because it’s probably a fake-ass document. stop reading so much into this, emmram!

MIRRORS, MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: 5

6.8. her super-convenient amnesia means she’s forgotten her identity but not human language, mores or customs. i like this extra layer of… alien-ness? that this brings to her: so now she’s not only a stranger to the rest of the world, but to herself. again, so many interesting things are set-up here that the show never really follows through with for the rest of the season—imagine re-discovering kory’s identity along with her, piecemeal, rather than an impersonal infodump near the end of the season!

6.9. also given that portrayals of starfire (at least those that i’ve seen/read) make liberal use of the ‘born sexy yesterday’ trope, i rather like this take—she’s already learned everything she needs to know about assimilating into human society, and it’s a question of rediscovering that knowledge instead of having some dude patronisingly mansplain the world to her.

6.95. why did she snap that russian dude’s neck, tho. that’s just brutal. i’d forgotten about this.

7. i like to think here that when dick says i’ll find someone who can help you, he’s not just thinking of law enforcement, but also of people in the super-community—psychics, or telepaths, or somebody who has experience with both. there’s still so much about dick that’s kept in the dark for most of the season, but given the length of time he’s been with batman and the easy familiarity with which he talks about other heroes in the finale’s dreamscape, i’m going to assume that he’s more than well-connected.

7.5. but he’s shuttered himself away for so long, and robin’s return has been far from well-received. i like this little moment where he steps outside and just… lets himself be overwhelmed. just for a bit.

7.7. i like that amy says “sidekick” first instead of “partner”. on-the-nose, but i like it!

7.8. the glibness of he and i had different ideas of how to do the job is making me laugh. oh, dick.

i guess the idea of batman sours quite a lot when you’ve spent most of your life as his partner. i get that he’s projecting losing his own sense of self to a role he just isn’t cut out for onto bruce, but it’s sad anyway.

7.9. gosh i just want these two to bond. i don’t care how you do it Show but bring back amy next season, yeah?

MIRRORS, MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: 6

8. is there any particular significance to the repeated security-cam footage shots we’re getting in this episode?

(gosh, i love the cinematography so much in this scene.)

8.4. so… kory had to use some sort of russian mob and come all the way to vienna to find rachel?? why??? are we ever going to find out?

8.5. on a happier note, i love love this version of starfire’s ‘innocence’. like. she’s baffled, almost apologetic about it, but she isn’t going to take any shit about it, either. also, the music when she uses her powers for the first time, man. FUCK.

9. aaaaand there’s the liquefying-a-guy’s-insides bit. i both love and hate this show’s self-indulgence.

9.5. i gotta say, this episode makes a lot more sense on rewatch than it did the first time ‘round. i remember being so confused by evil!cult!guy, but then again, i was pretty distracted at the time. i only really picked up the show because i was so amused by the over-the-top reactions fans had to the trailer. now look at me, writing 2k+ word reviews dissecting its every moment. *shakes head*

10. *rachel stares at dick’s porsche*

“this is yours?”

“family heirloom.”

“… from the circus?”

“not the one you’re thinking.”

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS EXCHANGE.

10.5. i love these two Dramatic Kids.

11. beast boy cameo! just to assure us all that yes, he is in this show, and that, yes, he is the Best of them all.

12. you guys, this episode is so much more fun that i remember it being. you’ve got an amnesiac interstellar super-spy in kory, a straight-up supernatural horror story in rachel, and a psychological case study whatever genre batman’s supposed to be in dick. each of them could easily fill their own show, but i love that titans wants to connect them with something more than just a team falling together just because.

#titans #meta #dick grayson #koriand'r #rachel roth #a byronic cupcake #badass strawberry truffle #a gothic cookie #grand titans rewatch 2k19

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mitchelle-rodriguez-blog · 5 years

Text

Lie of Omission

Logan has kept a secret for a long time, worried how the others and Thomas might react. Until a situation is brought up, Deceit comes up to torment him by his secret.

Warnings: Deceit, coming out, minimal anxiety attack, insults

It´s my first lil fic, and, I´m actually a Little bit proud of it. This is just a little hc I had after the last Sanders sides episode, when Logan kept tlaking of the “girl phase”. Not saying it might me canon, but a fun idea i had. If you find anything offenssive tell me <3.

Platonic LAMP

Logan angst

Implied Logince at the end

Deceit is NOT sympathetic here (although i might write it on the future)

Words: 2850

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Logan was sitting on his chair, reading one of his many books as usual; astronomy. One of his favourite subjects, one which kept him distracted and away from feeling those icky, complicated human emotions. Logan knew by then that pushing his emotions back, wasn´t healthy or good for himself, but that was much easier that confronting them.

He was 27 pages ahead from finishing Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller. So caught up on his book, he didn´t notice how a rampage was beggining in Thomas´ living room. Not until he saw his light started to flicker, he heard the turmoil happening outside the Mind Palace, the voices raising in despair, and Thomas´ heart beating faster than usual.

Then, he heard his name being called, felt the familiar tug on his stomach, and then he was summoned to appear in the living room, by his too familiar spot, left to the stairs. The book still in his hands.

“LOGAN!”

“May help with….with the situation you´re handling?”

Logan stuttered a little, after seeing his fellow sides appeareances. Roman looked like he saw the most terrifying ghost in the world, Virgil was full on alert mode, and Patton was as red as Roman´s sash.

“May I know what the matter is?” Logan asked unsure if the answer was going to be as bad as their faces.

“Well, uh I… I just…” Thomas stuttered, his eyes wide, trying to put his words in a way it made sense.

“Thomas, focus” He said snapping his fingers twice so Thomas would stop stuttering.

“I…” he sighed defeated, “I was hanging out with this girl I knew from theatre, and …well.. we were walking down the street, and she just, um… she confessed to me that… she liked me”.

“So?” Logan said not understanding what was happening, or the problem of the situation, “Humans seem to hang out with other humans they like, in this case, she likes you, so she continued to hang out with you. I don´t see the prob…”

“More than a friend, Internet Explorer!” Roman shouted showing desperation on his face.

“Oh, OH!”

“Yes, I know!” Thomas shouted on embarrassment. Face cringing.

“Well, what was your response? I´m sure you explained your situation with… girls”, words on his mouth felt like hot rocks on his hands.

“That´s the worst part! I said… oh my god… I said I did too”

Logan sighed, hand positioning on his forehead to relay on. “Well… now my understanding in human reaction seems to be as accurate as Roman´s knowledge about reality”, he said too done with the situation.

Roman´s gasped by the offense, hand on his chest, putting a little drama to the situation.

“X-CUSE ME? I know reality very well! I know it´s as boring as you!”

“OK, guys, calm down. No need to adress this situation with disrespect” Patton interfered, tone sounding relaxing, “Now, Thomas, you very well know that lying is wrong, remember what happened with the whole Joan situation?”

Thomas´spine shivered with the memory, rembering the snake persona, and his terrifying half scaled face. Last time he lied, he had appeared disguised as Patton, and thankfully, his sides were there to calm his panic. Since then, he tried avoiding lies as much as he could, being upfront honest all he could. But obviosly, he failed this time.

“You called?” Deceit appeared left to Patton, using his deep voice, and creepy smile. Hands clasped together, and a grin on his face that seemed threatening for Thomas. Too fake and old for the sides.

“We did not” Virgil replied annoyed.

“AH! DECEIT!”

“Yes, we know by now how welcomed I´m here, let´s not skip that part” said seeing too bored by the moment, “On the other hand, you seem to not ask for my help less often or whenever you´re on an ackward situation”

“He doesn´t need your help, dishwasher” Virgil whispered with a killing gaze.

“Ok kiddos, there´s a clear solution for this” Patton explained, then he turned to Thomas, “Thomas,” He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms before adressing the boy, “you know, there´s no need to lie about something like your sexuality, there´s nothing wrong with it, or is it?”

“No,” Thomas responded, clearly taking Patton´s advice, “ I just… I don´t know. It´s clear, that I´m still afraid of how others will react”.

“It could go wrong” Virgil and Deceit muttered in unison.

“Well,” Logan interrupted the ackward silence, “Why don´t you just call your friend back and explain the situation? If her reaction is unpleasant then you should continue to end that friendship, since that will not benefit you emotionally”.

Logan gave the answer which sounded the most rational. That was his job, to remember Thomas to not do things for a biased idea, or act silly because of his emotions. He brought up the logical thinking, and avoided the emotionally charged thoughts.

“Oh my god, that´ll be so embarrassing. “ Thomas lament himself, clearly regretting his previos actions. “I can´t believe I actually thought that her rejection would be so bad. I mean! She´s really sweet and loving, I don´t think she would be capable of rejecting someone by their sexuality.” Thomas was fully blushed and ashamed by admitting that out loud, then he giggled. “Guess I´ll have to tell Gabi about my love for dicks.”

“And that´s a lot to digest” Roman added, “Or should I say… a lot to take in.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shhh” Virgil shushed exasperated moving his hands around, “If you ruin Patton´s innocence..”

“He did” Deceit announced, pointing at the headphones Patton was wearing, “Ignorance can be good, can´t it?”

Patton gigled, “That´s a really good song kiddo!” He took the headphones off and handed it to Deceit, “What were you talking about?”

“Di…” Roman started but was silenced by his own hand flying over his mouth.

“The Bible.” Deceit said, he then pursue, arrowing his eyes to his human, “Well, Thomas, why don´t instead of telling your friend the truth, you tell her you already are in a relationship,” that smirk adorning his face again, “you know, with another girl. Who knows if she might react bad? Calling those names you´ve already heard thousands of times,” his words rumbling in the room. It was clear how they were affecting Thomas´ heart, ego, and anxiety, “mounstrosity, mistake, fag.”

“Ok, that´s enough,” Logan cut off, “ you are clearly, jumping to conclusions,” he stated to Deceit, Thomas, we´ve talk about this. We don´t have full information of how your friend might react, or their opinon about others sexualities and gender spectrums. He´s making you focus only on the negative outcomes there might be, and magnifying those posible negative results.”

He seemed desperate by the moment, Thomas was on the border of an anxiety attack, and Virgil… well he was completely white, the horror showing on his face because of the thought of reliving those awful times in Thomas´ life.

“I might be magnifying, but that doesn´t mean, it isn´t a possibility.” The smile on his face showed a sense of confidence on his words, one that made Logan feel exasperated about.

“Maybe, but with a really small porcentage of becoming a reality, just be logical! That´s a unmitigated falsehood!” Logan was already starting to lose patience.

Deceit let a chuckle leave his mouth, “Careful there, Logic, we both know logical is not the opposite of a lie.” His eyes told Logan what he feared the most. The secret he thought was safe with him, was now shared with the embodiment of lies.

He knew he was telling a lie of ommision, one that was never asked to him, but everyone assume was the full truth, which made it unnecessary to worry about. How did Deceit knew? Maybe he was just trying to make Logan feel uncomfortable and maybe spill something he didn´t knew about. He breathed to calm down, he was starting to think like Virgil, which wasn´t his job to do.

“It is not,” Logan said, eyeing Deceit thoughfully, like he might do something against him, “but that´s not what we are talking about.” he pursue to talk directly to Thomas, “Thomas, you know that lying is neither logical or moral, besides, lying about your feelings for another person will harm you and Patton. If you´re not willing to tell the truth because of the fear to be rejected, then do it for Patton.”

He looked over to Patton, who was blushing harshly.

“Thanks kiddo.” He said shyly.

Thomas seemed to calm down by his words.

“Wow, Logic,” Deciet clapped slowly, not moving his gaze form Logan,” you seem to know alot about feelings for someone who doesn´t have them.”

“Well, it looks like I have more experience with them than you.” His eyes looking at Deceit angrily.

“Certainly.”

A silence invaded the room, tension dispensing on the air. There was clearly an unspoken war happening between Logan and Deceit. One that had the sides confused. Was there something Logan wasn´t sharing with them? A secret he was keeping? Or past he was escaping from? One that included Deceit in?

“Ok I don´t know what is happening between you two, but I think is clear how we already declined your awful contribution, Deceit.” Virgil barked.

“Yeah, besides Snake Cipher, why would we tell someone we have a girlfriend, when none of us like girls? I mean Thomas is gay as hell.”

“Indeed.” Thomas giggled.

There was a silence in which everyone was looking at Deceit. He had a poker face that made everyone doubt what he was thinking. He then smiled a little and a chuckle escaped his lips, which caused everyone to back up a little.

“Don´t you feel the deception filling the air?” His eyes showed he was planning something.

“What do you mean?” Thomas spoke.

“Lies of ommission are the best,” he laughed, “you know, eyes that don´t see, heart that doesn´t feel.” He then moved his gaze to Logan, “Or does it, Logic?” Eyes narrowing dangerously at Logan.

Logan was sweating like crazy, nervousness filling his body. How could he know? It wasn´t posible, he never told anyone. Hell, he didn´t even wrote it! Didn´t left a trace of it!

“Oh Logan,” his name felt threatening on his lips, “You can´t hide a secret from the embodiment on deception.” His laughed invaded the air, and all Logan could do was shiver on anticipation, on fear of what was about to come.

“Logan? What is he talking about?” Thomas asked curiosly. Logan couldn´t even look at his human in the eyes, shame keeping his from doing so.

“I´ll show you” Deceit said snapping his fingers.

Everyone expected for Deceit to reveal a secret thing, a forbidden object Logan shouldn´t have, but all that happened was that Deceit was transformed into a ravishing, good-looking girl. Yellow eyes, long wavy hair and a worked body which he dressed with tight clothing.

He continued to approach Logan, who nobody noticed was blushing harshly, trying to back up from Deceit. Deceit laughed, it sounded higher, since he was on a girl´s body, his voice distorted.

“Aw, c´mon Logan, I won´t bite,” Logan was fully red and seemed uncomfortable, “unless you want me to.” He then winked an eye to Logan, who turned around and hid his face in his hands.

“Ok, this is already so weird, could you explain to us?” Roman was the first to talk, and to save Logan from the uncomfortable situation.

“Why don´t you tell them, pretty boy?” Deceit continued to flirt with Logan, who was trying to keep distance from the girl´s body.

The sides and Thomas glanced between them confused.

“Are you gynophobic, Logan?” Patton asked doubtfully.

Then Deceit reached to touch Logan´s chest. Logan shivered to the touch.

Deceit laughed again, “Aw, you can do better than that. Isn´t it obvious?” His hand travelled from Logan´s chest to his nape.

“Stay away” Logan mouthed, he was nervous, and his voice shaking, “I said move!”

Deceit loosen his grip from Logan´s neck, but didn´t backed away “Aw, you really want me to?”

Thomas looked at the scene, like he deciphered a puzle, “ Logan, you like girls? Are you bisexual?”

Deceit smiled and continued to touch Logan, “You know I´ll continue until you tell the truth, don´t you?” Deceit´s hand lowering through his chest to his belly. Logan pushed Deceit away from him, clearly loosing his composure.

“OK! OK! I´m heterosexual! I´m sorry! I´m sorry!” Logan had his face buried on his hands.

He waited for rejection to hit him, for the others to tell him how much of a weirdo he was for not being ike them, to not have the same likes as his human. He waited that for years, the fear of being discovered was finally becoming a reality. He knew that would happen, but he thought it might be under his consent, not under pressure. Not being obligated to do so, not being humiliated like this. He felt the weight pushing down his shoulders. Guilt wasn´t enough to express what he was feeling. Shame was a little closer. And he waited for their hate to hit him like a train, he did ofr a long time.

But it never came.

“Logan, you don´t have to be sorry, we don´t hate you.” Virgil talked after a while.

“Yeah, you don´t have anything to be sorry for.” It was Thomas this time.

Patton followed, “We love you kiddo, and you better know that we would never stop loving you for something like that.”

“I mean, we had the same fear for 23 years, why would we do that to you?” Roman expressed.

Logan was thunderstruck, he really waited for them to look down at him, to cross him as a mistake, as a unwanted side.

“Are you serious?” Logan asked carefully, in case it was a joke.

“Of course!” Thomas said, “I´m just curious, If you like girls, why doesn´t it affects me? I mean, I don´t feel any attraction towards women.”

Logan was still astonished, “I.. I” he cleared his throat, “I do not represent a feeling, just your logical thinking, which means I do not reflect your sexuality, contrary to Patton and Roman, who determine what you look for in a relationship.”

“Wait,” Thomas clarified, “They both determine who I like? And if they have different sexualities?”

“Well, I represent your romantic spectrum kiddo” Patton anounced.

“Yeah, and I´m your sexual spectrum,” Roman was blushing a llittle. “I don´t know why that was quite embarrassing.”

“And what does Virgil represent? Or Deceit?”

“We´re just contributing to your gayness” Virgil remarked.

Deceit was already on his normal form, his yellow eye and snake face again on it´s place. The smirk he had a moment before vanished, and a cold gaze was left. “My job here is done, have a marvelous night.” He sank down with the unpleased looks of Thomas and the sides.

“Well, Logan,” Thomas added, “I think you should know by now, that you are part of this family, and you´re not getting rid of us easily,” He smiled at him.

“Undoubtfully, I have it clear. Thanks, to everyone. I guess I jumped to conclusions thinking you´d not accept me.” Logan rubbed nis neck a little shameful.

“We´ll always accept who you are, Logy.” Patton said lovingly.

Logan glanced at his family and sak down with a smile on his face. No more hiding who he was.

-----------------------------

Back at his room, he grabbed his book and continued to read where he had left his lecture, his last 27 pages finishing a little too early than he expected. He put he book in its place on the shelf and placed his laptop on the desk. He started working on Thomas´planning next day, video, and editing, when he heard a side rising up in his room. His attention was fully on his work, wo he just asked without glancing at the side.

“You need something?”

“Well, I just thought we could do a little experiment, you know?”

Logan stopped his work and turned his chair around. Roman was there, face showing shyness from his part, but his body showing anticipation.

“What do you mean exactly?” Logan was curious to where Roman was trying to get. He then saw the side, put a flirty smile on his face, he then snapped his fingers, and did the same trick Deceit did earlier at Thomas´ living room.

Roman´s body changed to a girl´s body with provocative clothing, red lips, and heels.

“I saw, what Deceit´s trick did to you earlier, so, why not finishing it?” He addressed Logan to his chair, leaning in to him when he was closer enough, hands on the chair armrests.

Logan kept on looking at the girl´s body, then moved his eyes to Roman´s.

“You do know I´m aromantic right?”

“Yeah, and I might be the romantic one, but I represent th sexual spectrum.” He smiled down at Logan, “Should I stop? Or can I finished what Deceit didn´t?”

Logan just smirked. Yeah, his secret was better out.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I know that this won´t be read by many people, but I still want to post it, because there´s more possibilities people Will read if I post it <3. If I missed a warning tell me.

#logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #deceit sanders #ts fanfic #ts angst #roman sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides hc

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norgad-vcd · 3 years

Text

COPY: First Revision

Introduction.

What goes on, online?

Anything and everything. It’s a beautiful and vibrant mess of human interaction. Everything from trivial and thoughtless acts to the most sincere and genuine deeds. It’s grounds for the vicious and the virtuous alike. The internet is what you make of it; A tool as good or bad as it’s wielders.

What this book is

It’d take a thousand lifetimes to see it all.

How about a quick glimpse instead?

Hiya, I’m Tom! I’ve spent enough of my life online that I can confer some of my findings to you. This book is a smörgåsbord of experiences, phenomena, and memories I’ve been witness to and participant in during my time here. While not a full picture, it should help you navigate the ballpark of possibilities out there. My experiences are just one sample from billions; perhaps after this you’ll seek to venture out further into that world-wide web, or - at the very least - understand a little better those who do.

Heads-up

Listen a moment, before you go.

I am only one person. My field of view is limited, as is my foresight. Take my advice with a grain of salt, I can’t prepare you for everything. There’s so much more out there waiting for you, some good, some bad; be sensible.

Who am I, online?

Personas and the separation of meatspace and cyberspace.

Online, your real-life identity isn’t attached to you by default. Of course there’s places where the expectation is indeed a connection to real identities - like Facebook for example - but this is not a requirement. I’m not known as ‘Tom’ online, people know me by my username, and t.

It’s not a fake me, or a way to lie to people, it’s just an alternate expression of myself. We act differently to different people in so many social situations, - from time with family, to at work, and to hanging out with friends - the internet allows even more possible ways to express parts of ourselves. For me, it’s liberating to exist in a state that’s disconnected from the tangle of my real life self, and to keep the tangle of my internet presence away from real life as well.

Equal ground, just another user.

On the internet, nobody knows who you are.

Unless you divulge them, your identity, physical appearance, background, nationality, gender, race and so on are completely unknown; this is the great equalizer. Free from biases based on your physical self, you can be perceived as purely another person.

Still a person, despite appearances.

A clean slate can tempt some however to act recklessly. If an identity and stigma can be shed so easily, some people feel emboldened to act without the threat of consequences; verbally beat someone up, and then wash your hands of the whole incident.

It’s important to remember that people online are still people; while their faces might be obscured, they still have thoughts and feelings.

In general, talking to people online has the same potential as real-life to be great, awful, or somewhere inbetween. It’s just luck of the draw who you’ll encounter.

Who else?

I’m hanging out with my friends.

“Go outside and spend time with your friends!”

What a classic line. Truth is I’m already spending time with my friends, just on the computer. It can be hard to organise in person meetups sometimes, and meeting up online can be much more spontaneous. All it takes is noticing someone else is online and flicking them a message, Boom, instant hangout, and before you know it you’ve got all the boys bantering away.

Over the first lockdown in 2020 me and most of my real-life friends started a minecraft server together and played through it for the duration of our stint stuck at home. It was like a little clubhouse, each time we logged in and saw things change slightly since last time. We left each other notes and set up gifts and pranks for when people left and returned. It was a great way to keep in touch when we were otherwise very isolated from social contact.

Guest speaker, Josh

[Josh text]

In general, hanging out online is pretty great. It might not be perfect, and sure we could get a little more sunlight, but for what it’s worth it’s good for the soul and sometimes the best thing on hand. Friendships don’t care about how you nourish them, just that you do.

[WHY ARE YOU STILL AWAKE?]

I don’t know the names of some of my closest friends.

What about friendships that never were from real life, rather that grew from the internet.

I don’t know the names of some of my closest friends.

That doesn’t mean I don’t care about them; it’s just we all know each other by our usernames and whatever funny profile picture we’re rocking at the time. I still know their personalities, their sense of humor, what they like and don’t, and everything else you’d know about a friend. We still have inside jokes, favourite group pastimes, and all the rest.

This has caused some strange moments though. When I was younger and my parents would ask who I’m talking to on the computer, I wouldn’t know how to respond. Do I tell them “I don’t know” and spark images in their heads of catfishers and criminals? Do I tell them my friend’s username and get told “that’s not a real name”? There really wasn’t any good solution in my head at the time, so I’d just say “someone from school” and pray the topic of the conversation would change as fast as possible.

A couple of times an internet friend has accidentally let their real name slip in a conversation, and that instantly got met with waves of banter about how “you’re not an Alex” or whatever the name was. We’d quickly forget about it though, we still see each other as the identities we met each other with; someone’s real-life name doesn’t change how we see them. In that sense, I suppose usernames are like a self-determination thing; you get to pick a name for yourself, based on who you see yourself as.

Timeless zones.

Because everyone lives in different time-zones, it can often be difficult to pre-plan hangouts. Oftentimes me and my friends have planned to have a movie night at a specific time, and then once that time rolls around, one or two people are still offline, probably asleep. Oftentimes whoever was missing will come online several hours later and be sorry and upset that they held everyone up and wasted everyone’s time. Of course, we had all just postponed the movie night and just hung out and chatted instead.

Perfect is the enemy of good. Oftentimes we have to accept that it’s near impossible to have everyone hang out at the same time; it’d require half of us to be up at god awful times or to wake up at 4am for something. Instead of trying to plan big ‘everyone’ events every once in a blue moon, we try to have frequent but smaller hangouts. It might mean that we don’t get to see everyone at the same time, but it’s still workable. If we were to hold out till everyone was free at the same time, we’d never end up hanging out at all.

My version of the morning paper is skimming what my mates have been talking about in the group chat. Most of the time it’s pretty coherent and I can tell what was going on, but sometimes it dissolves into a mess of completely unrelated images and text that doesn’t read like a conversation at all. Using my expert detective skills I have deduced that our two culprits were actually talking in a voice chat, and were just using the text chat to show each other stupid pictures of dogs.

That time my friend went missing.

A while ago, someone in one of my friend groups noted that someone hadn’t been online for two weeks. Dread set in. We all knew that our friend was very prone to getting ill, and we didn’t want to say it but we were worried she might have died. Since we don’t know each other in ‘real life’ it was entirely possible that someone could drop dead one day and we’d never get any confirmation; just left wondering what happened. We asked around in common friend circles, and nobody had heard from her, coming up on about three weeks at that point. We had to do something.

Multiple friend circles of people from all around the world, scrambling to find any scrap of information about our lost friend. One person had ‘maybe’ an address that they sent something to once, but it might have been an old house. We found about three different possible legal names, and had no way to be sure which was right. We ended up sending a letter addressed to three different names ‘or the family of’. It was a desperate shot in the dark, but we were worried sick.

It turned out she was alright, but she had been stuck in hospital for a while and didn’t have access to a phone. We all had a laugh over how everyone overreacted, but it really did scare me. I’ve learned to really value the time I get to spend with my online friends; next time might not be so lucky, and if something were to happen it’s hard to ever get closure on it.

Wider World.

Community

One thing the internet’s really helped with is connecting like-minded individuals. Before the internet, if you had a niche hobby, you were probably the only person you know in your town with that hobby. Kinda lame, yeah? Nowadays, you can reach across the globe and connect with everyone who’s into the same stuff as you! Mainstream topics can have gargantuan communities, but what I find even more interesting is the weird obscure hobbies and groups, the kind that would never survive without the internet.

My personal favourite is the community around the video game ‘Space Station 13’; it’s a simulation roleplay game that’s been kicking around for about 18 years at this point, kept alive by a cult following of obsessed players. The programming sucks, and the controls are horrifically obtuse, but it’s got a charm that I can’t deny. It’s not for everyone, and I think that’s great. It’s not for everyone, but thanks to the internet enough people can still get together that they can enjoy it.

Someone sends me a funny picture. There’s three layers of delight. The first - of course - is that the picture is funny. Beyond that, there’s also the impulsive knowledge that I know who else I could send it to that might like it; it’s a chain letter that for once isn’t a scam. And the third layer is knowing that whoever sent the picture to me first got it sent to them and thought “Hey, I know who might like this”!

Random people

Strange patterns can emerge after lurking and watching from the sidelines.

In the rules discussion channel of a board game group I’m in, I swear sometimes it’s like I’m stuck in a time loop. I watch a random person ask a common question about the game, and then someone else will get the rules clarified for them. A few hours will pass, the conversation drifting elsewhere as people drop in and out. Suddenly, I spot it; the same question from before, but from a different person. Like clockwork, another nameless devout will rise up and deliver the answer. And again. And again. It’s like a two-line stage show where the audience is also the cast, over and over and over.

Since profile pictures and usernames are self-selected you do get a weird little keyhole view of who you’re talking to might be like. This person has a picture of a cat as their profile image. Is it their cat, or did they just think the cat looked nice? Their username is ‘Millie’, is that their real life name; maybe? Or what if it’s the cat’s name? Are they pretending to be their cat? Are they a cat?

Getting popular, online presence & all eyes on you

Having a large presence online - that is, having other people follow or be ‘fans’ of you - is a mixed bag. For me it’s been really good in allowing me to get my art out there and get clients, but it’s also weird. It feels a bit like I’m up on a stage sometimes, everyone’s watching me. I’ve lost the feeling of being ‘just another guy in the crowd’. What if someone reads something I posted the wrong way? Do I keep being aloof and carefree, or will that hurt my image. Should I care?

Getting weird; parasocial relationships, doxxing, and personal armies.

People with large presences can feel familiar, friendly, like you’re already friends.

I’ve caught myself falling into this in the past. Parasocial relationships. There was an artist I really admired the style of. The brain’s great at filling in the details you want to be real. I realised that I had it written in my head that this person was super cool and the best and that it’d be really cool if we hung out. All extrapolation. While it’s entirely possible that they were everything I had imagined them to be, until it’s tested it’s all just imagination and fantasy. If you’ve never talked to them, how could you know?

Guest speaker, Chai

[Chai text]

Connecting with meatspace

Back down to earth. What happens when the digital and the physical self have to intersect? The two identities are from the same person, but they’re not the same.

My family found my twitter.

One time, my parents sent me a text: “Lucy showed us your art, looking really cool Tom!”. How. I’d never sent my family any of my online profiles. I check my Twitter; sure enough in front of my eyes the screen tells me my sister has followed my twitter account. Abject horror. How much did they look at? What did they think? Should I start looking for a flat?

It’s not that I had anything to hide, it’s just that it felt… misaligned. Like two worlds coming together that shouldn’t. I’m sure for them it was just “Wow, look at our son go!”, but for me it was a wave of confusion and dread.

Visiting internet friends. (They weren’t murderers.)

One time, I was lucky enough to have a few of my internet friends visit in real life. I was showing them around my house, when I ran into my mum. It hit me. Who do I even introduce these people as? We all know each other by our online names and had been using them in conversation minutes earlier, but that would make no sense to my poor mum. And so, awkwardly, one by one my friends rattled off a set of names entirely alien to me. We all kept straight faces as each of us discovered “Wait, this person’s called WHAT?”.

We all promptly forgot each other’s names within about two minutes.

LDRs

Thanks to the internet, I met my partner.

Almost four years later, we’re still going strong. It helps a lot that a lot of our common interests can be done online, chiefly gaming and watching shows. But even the other stuff, we can still do together in some aspects. We always say good morning and goodnight to each other on the phone, and fill each other in on what we’ve been up to that day. If we go somewhere and see something cool, we can still share pictures and videos. If I make a really nice dinner, I can send them the recipe and they can have a taste (though that last one might depend on their cooking skills).

Of course, it’s not identical to an in-person relationship, and it can be more stressful. You have to put a lot more effort into reaching out to each other and making time to hang out and talk; it won’t happen by accident. We’re both really looking forward to being able to move together, but until then, being together apart isn’t all that bad.

Signing off.

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suzanneshannon · 3 years

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Beware the Cut ‘n’ Paste Persona

This Person Does Not Exist is a website that generates human faces with a machine learning algorithm. It takes real portraits and recombines them into fake human faces. We recently scrolled past a LinkedIn post stating that this website could be useful “if you are developing a persona and looking for a photo.”

We agree: the computer-generated faces could be a great match for personas—but not for the reason you might think. Ironically, the website highlights the core issue of this very common design method: the person(a) does not exist. Like the pictures, personas are artificially made. Information is taken out of natural context and recombined into an isolated snapshot that’s detached from reality.

But strangely enough, designers use personas to inspire their design for the real world.

Personas: A step back

Most designers have created, used, or come across personas at least once in their career. In their article “Personas - A Simple Introduction,” the Interaction Design Foundation defines personas as “fictional characters, which you create based upon your research in order to represent the different user types that might use your service, product, site, or brand.” In their most complete expression, personas typically consist of a name, profile picture, quotes, demographics, goals, needs, behavior in relation to a certain service/product, emotions, and motivations (for example, see Creative Companion’s Persona Core Poster). The purpose of personas, as stated by design agency Designit, is “to make the research relatable, [and] easy to communicate, digest, reference, and apply to product and service development.”

The decontextualization of personas

Personas are popular because they make “dry” research data more relatable, more human. However, this method constrains the researcher’s data analysis in such a way that the investigated users are removed from their unique contexts. As a result, personas don’t portray key factors that make you understand their decision-making process or allow you to relate to users’ thoughts and behavior; they lack stories. You understand what the persona did, but you don’t have the background to understand why. You end up with representations of users that are actually less human.

This “decontextualization” we see in personas happens in four ways, which we’ll explain below.

Personas assume people are static

Although many companies still try to box in their employees and customers with outdated personality tests (referring to you, Myers-Briggs), here’s a painfully obvious truth: people are not a fixed set of features. You act, think, and feel differently according to the situations you experience. You appear different to different people; you might act friendly to some, rough to others. And you change your mind all the time about decisions you’ve taken.

Modern psychologists agree that while people generally behave according to certain patterns, it’s actually a combination of background and environment that determines how people act and take decisions. The context—the environment, the influence of other people, your mood, the entire history that led up to a situation—determines the kind of person you are in each specific moment.

In their attempt to simplify reality, personas do not take this variability into account; they present a user as a fixed set of features. Like personality tests, personas snatch people away from real life. Even worse, people are reduced to a label and categorized as “that kind of person” with no means to exercise their innate flexibility. This practice reinforces stereotypes, lowers diversity, and doesn’t reflect reality.

Personas focus on individuals, not the environment

In the real world, you’re designing for a context, not for an individual. Each person lives in a family, a community, an ecosystem, where there are environmental, political, and social factors you need to consider. A design is never meant for a single user. Rather, you design for one or more particular contexts in which many people might use that product. Personas, however, show the user alone rather than describe how the user relates to the environment.

Would you always make the same decision over and over again? Maybe you’re a committed vegan but still decide to buy some meat when your relatives are coming over. As they depend on different situations and variables, your decisions—and behavior, opinions, and statements—are not absolute but highly contextual. The persona that “represents” you wouldn’t take into account this dependency, because it doesn’t specify the premises of your decisions. It doesn’t provide a justification of why you act the way you do. Personas enact the well-known bias called fundamental attribution error: explaining others’ behavior too much by their personality and too little by the situation.

As mentioned by the Interaction Design Foundation, personas are usually placed in a scenario that’s a “specific context with a problem they want to or have to solve”—does that mean context actually is considered? Unfortunately, what often happens is that you take a fictional character and based on that fiction determine how this character might deal with a certain situation. This is made worse by the fact that you haven’t even fully investigated and understood the current context of the people your persona seeks to represent; so how could you possibly understand how they would act in new situations?

Personas are meaningless averages

As mentioned in Shlomo Goltz’s introductory article on Smashing Magazine, “a persona is depicted as a specific person but is not a real individual; rather, it is synthesized from observations of many people.” A well-known critique to this aspect of personas is that the average person does not exist, as per the famous example of the USA Air Force designing planes based on the average of 140 of their pilots’ physical dimensions and not a single pilot actually fitting within that average seat.

The same limitation applies to mental aspects of people. Have you ever heard a famous person say, “They took what I said out of context! They used my words, but I didn’t mean it like that.” The celebrity’s statement was reported literally, but the reporter failed to explain the context around the statement and didn’t describe the non-verbal expressions. As a result, the intended meaning was lost. You do the same when you create personas: you collect somebody’s statement (or goal, or need, or emotion), of which the meaning can only be understood if you provide its own specific context, yet report it as an isolated finding.

But personas go a step further, extracting a decontextualized finding and joining it with another decontextualized finding from somebody else. The resulting set of findings often does not make sense: it’s unclear, or even contrasting, because it lacks the underlying reasons on why and how that finding has arisen. It lacks meaning. And the persona doesn’t give you the full background of the person(s) to uncover this meaning: you would need to dive into the raw data for each single persona item to find it. What, then, is the usefulness of the persona?

The relatability of personas is deceiving

To a certain extent, designers realize that a persona is a lifeless average. To overcome this, designers invent and add “relatable” details to personas to make them resemble real individuals. Nothing captures the absurdity of this better than a sentence by the Interaction Design Foundation: “Add a few fictional personal details to make the persona a realistic character.” In other words, you add non-realism in an attempt to create more realism. You deliberately obscure the fact that “John Doe” is an abstract representation of research findings; but wouldn’t it be much more responsible to emphasize that John is only an abstraction? If something is artificial, let’s present it as such.

It’s the finishing touch of a persona’s decontextualization: after having assumed that people’s personalities are fixed, dismissed the importance of their environment, and hidden meaning by joining isolated, non-generalizable findings, designers invent new context to create (their own) meaning. In doing so, as with everything they create, they introduce a host of biases. As phrased by Designit, as designers we can “contextualize [the persona] based on our reality and experience. We create connections that are familiar to us.” This practice reinforces stereotypes, doesn’t reflect real-world diversity, and gets further away from people’s actual reality with every detail added.

To do good design research, we should report the reality “as-is” and make it relatable for our audience, so everyone can use their own empathy and develop their own interpretation and emotional response.

Dynamic Selves: The alternative to personas

If we shouldn’t use personas, what should we do instead?

Designit has proposed using Mindsets instead of personas. Each Mindset is a “spectrum of attitudes and emotional responses that different people have within the same context or life experience.” It challenges designers to not get fixated on a single user’s way of being. Unfortunately, while being a step in the right direction, this proposal doesn’t take into account that people are part of an environment that determines their personality, their behavior, and, yes, their mindset. Therefore, Mindsets are also not absolute but change in regard to the situation. The question remains, what determines a certain Mindset?

Another alternative comes from Margaret P., author of the article “Kill Your Personas,” who has argued for replacing personas with persona spectrums that consist of a range of user abilities. For example, a visual impairment could be permanent (blindness), temporary (recovery from eye surgery), or situational (screen glare). Persona spectrums are highly useful for more inclusive and context-based design, as they’re based on the understanding that the context is the pattern, not the personality. Their limitation, however, is that they have a very functional take on users that misses the relatability of a real person taken from within a spectrum.

In developing an alternative to personas, we aim to transform the standard design process to be context-based. Contexts are generalizable and have patterns that we can identify, just like we tried to do previously with people. So how do we identify these patterns? How do we ensure truly context-based design?

Understand real individuals in multiple contexts

Nothing is more relatable and inspiring than reality. Therefore, we have to understand real individuals in their multi-faceted contexts, and use this understanding to fuel our design. We refer to this approach as Dynamic Selves.

Let’s take a look at what the approach looks like, based on an example of how one of us applied it in a recent project that researched habits of Italians around energy consumption. We drafted a design research plan aimed at investigating people’s attitudes toward energy consumption and sustainable behavior, with a focus on smart thermostats.

1. Choose the right sample

When we argue against personas, we’re often challenged with quotes such as “Where are you going to find a single person that encapsulates all the information from one of these advanced personas[?]” The answer is simple: you don’t have to. You don’t need to have information about many people for your insights to be deep and meaningful.

In qualitative research, validity does not derive from quantity but from accurate sampling. You select the people that best represent the “population” you’re designing for. If this sample is chosen well, and you have understood the sampled people in sufficient depth, you’re able to infer how the rest of the population thinks and behaves. There’s no need to study seven Susans and five Yuriys; one of each will do.

Similarly, you don’t need to understand Susan in fifteen different contexts. Once you’ve seen her in a couple of diverse situations, you’ve understood the scheme of Susan’s response to different contexts. Not Susan as an atomic being but Susan in relation to the surrounding environment: how she might act, feel, and think in different situations.

Given that each person is representative of a part of the total population you’re researching, it becomes clear why each should be represented as an individual, as each already is an abstraction of a larger group of individuals in similar contexts. You don’t want abstractions of abstractions! These selected people need to be understood and shown in their full expression, remaining in their microcosmos—and if you want to identify patterns you can focus on identifying patterns in contexts.

Yet the question remains: how do you select a representative sample? First of all, you have to consider what’s the target audience of the product or service you are designing: it might be useful to look at the company’s goals and strategy, the current customer base, and/or a possible future target audience.

In our example project, we were designing an application for those who own a smart thermostat. In the future, everyone could have a smart thermostat in their house. Right now, though, only early adopters own one. To build a significant sample, we needed to understand the reason why these early adopters became such. We therefore recruited by asking people why they had a smart thermostat and how they got it. There were those who had chosen to buy it, those who had been influenced by others to buy it, and those who had found it in their house. So we selected representatives of these three situations, from different age groups and geographical locations, with an equal balance of tech savvy and non-tech savvy participants.

2. Conduct your research

After having chosen and recruited your sample, conduct your research using ethnographic methodologies. This will make your qualitative data rich with anecdotes and examples. In our example project, given COVID-19 restrictions, we converted an in-house ethnographic research effort into remote family interviews, conducted from home and accompanied by diary studies.

To gain an in-depth understanding of attitudes and decision-making trade-offs, the research focus was not limited to the interviewee alone but deliberately included the whole family. Each interviewee would tell a story that would then become much more lively and precise with the corrections or additional details coming from wives, husbands, children, or sometimes even pets. We also focused on the relationships with other meaningful people (such as colleagues or distant family) and all the behaviors that resulted from those relationships. This wide research focus allowed us to shape a vivid mental image of dynamic situations with multiple actors.

It’s essential that the scope of the research remains broad enough to be able to include all possible actors. Therefore, it normally works best to define broad research areas with macro questions. Interviews are best set up in a semi-structured way, where follow-up questions will dive into topics mentioned spontaneously by the interviewee. This open-minded “plan to be surprised” will yield the most insightful findings. When we asked one of our participants how his family regulated the house temperature, he replied, “My wife has not installed the thermostat’s app—she uses WhatsApp instead. If she wants to turn on the heater and she is not home, she will text me. I am her thermostat.”

3. Analysis: Create the Dynamic Selves

During the research analysis, you start representing each individual with multiple Dynamic Selves, each “Self” representing one of the contexts you have investigated. The core of each Dynamic Self is a quote, which comes supported by a photo and a few relevant demographics that illustrate the wider context. The research findings themselves will show which demographics are relevant to show. In our case, as our research focused on families and their lifestyle to understand their needs for thermal regulation, the important demographics were family type, number and nature of houses owned, economic status, and technological maturity. (We also included the individual’s name and age, but they’re optional—we included them to ease the stakeholders’ transition from personas and be able to connect multiple actions and contexts to the same person).

To capture exact quotes, interviews need to be video-recorded and notes need to be taken verbatim as much as possible. This is essential to the truthfulness of the several Selves of each participant. In the case of real-life ethnographic research, photos of the context and anonymized actors are essential to build realistic Selves. Ideally, these photos should come directly from field research, but an evocative and representative image will work, too, as long as it’s realistic and depicts meaningful actions that you associate with your participants. For example, one of our interviewees told us about his mountain home where he used to spend every weekend with his family. Therefore, we portrayed him hiking with his little daughter.

At the end of the research analysis, we displayed all of the Selves’ “cards” on a single canvas, categorized by activities. Each card displayed a situation, represented by a quote and a unique photo. All participants had multiple cards about themselves.

4. Identify design opportunities

Once you have collected all main quotes from the interview transcripts and diaries, and laid them all down as Self cards, you will see patterns emerge. These patterns will highlight the opportunity areas for new product creation, new functionalities, and new services—for new design.

In our example project, there was a particularly interesting insight around the concept of humidity. We realized that people don’t know what humidity is and why it is important to monitor it for health: an environment that’s too dry or too wet can cause respiratory problems or worsen existing ones. This highlighted a big opportunity for our client to educate users on this concept and become a health advisor.

Benefits of Dynamic Selves

When you use the Dynamic Selves approach in your research, you start to notice unique social relations, peculiar situations real people face and the actions that follow, and that people are surrounded by changing environments. In our thermostat project, we have come to know one of the participants, Davide, as a boyfriend, dog-lover, and tech enthusiast.

Davide is an individual we might have once reduced to a persona called “tech enthusiast.” But we can have tech enthusiasts who have families or are single, who are rich or poor. Their motivations and priorities when deciding to purchase a new thermostat can be opposite according to these different frames.

Once you have understood Davide in multiple situations, and for each situation have understood in sufficient depth the underlying reasons for his behavior, you’re able to generalize how he would act in another situation. You can use your understanding of him to infer what he would think and do in the contexts (or scenarios) that you design for.

The Dynamic Selves approach aims to dismiss the conflicted dual purpose of personas—to summarize and empathize at the same time—by separating your research summary from the people you’re seeking to empathize with. This is important because our empathy for people is affected by scale: the bigger the group, the harder it is to feel empathy for others. We feel the strongest empathy for individuals we can personally relate to.

If you take a real person as inspiration for your design, you no longer need to create an artificial character. No more inventing details to make the character more “realistic,” no more unnecessary additional bias. It’s simply how this person is in real life. In fact, in our experience, personas quickly become nothing more than a name in our priority guides and prototype screens, as we all know that these characters don’t really exist.

Another powerful benefit of the Dynamic Selves approach is that it raises the stakes of your work: if you mess up your design, someone real, a person you and the team know and have met, is going to feel the consequences. It might stop you from taking shortcuts and will remind you to conduct daily checks on your designs.

And finally, real people in their specific contexts are a better basis for anecdotal storytelling and therefore are more effective in persuasion. Documentation of real research is essential in achieving this result. It adds weight and urgency behind your design arguments: “When I met Alessandra, the conditions of her workplace struck me. Noise, bad ergonomics, lack of light, you name it. If we go for this functionality, I’m afraid we’re going to add complexity to her life.”

Conclusion

Designit mentioned in their article on Mindsets that “design thinking tools offer a shortcut to deal with reality’s complexities, but this process of simplification can sometimes flatten out people’s lives into a few general characteristics.” Unfortunately, personas have been culprits in a crime of oversimplification. They are unsuited to represent the complex nature of our users’ decision-making processes and don’t account for the fact that humans are immersed in contexts.

Design needs simplification but not generalization. You have to look at the research elements that stand out: the sentences that captured your attention, the images that struck you, the sounds that linger. Portray those, use them to describe the person in their multiple contexts. Both insights and people come with a context; they cannot be cut from that context because it would remove meaning.

It’s high time for design to move away from fiction, and embrace reality—in its messy, surprising, and unquantifiable beauty—as our guide and inspiration.

Beware the Cut ‘n’ Paste Persona published first on https://deskbysnafu.tumblr.com/

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kokeggy · 6 years

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my brain is filled with ouma and i cant stop it

i totally forgot the time man, its almost been 2 months since i played the game and it totally didnt feel like that at all

i still can recall a ton of things fluidly and as for now i dont see a particular reason to replay the game (other than wanting to get to know ouma better)

but oumas character is just.. so tragic. i cant even begin to explain the depth of his character, it would be pages long and im way too lazy for that. ill always just write mental drafts and let myself feel when it comes to ouma

ill a cut here since its already a bit long rn lmao

and i think ouma is a character who is deeply troubled by his insecurities/possible mental illnesses (such as bpd or servere depression) in a way that these insecurities are his most memorable characteristics. that is absolutely sad and tragic

furthermore since the moment i started to play this game i always thought it was suspicious that ouma claimed he hated liars even tho he was one himself. sure that couldve been one of his lies, but my intention rlly didnt like this idea so i thought he was actually speaking the truth. i realized today that ouma was hinting at shuichi that he hated this persona that he had to create for the sake of this game

but i do agree that i sometimes tend to overthink ouma lmao while is incredibly intelligent, he couldnt have figured everything out, plus his trust issues and paranoia were in the way of looking into every possible situation. yet i somehow believed that he did a lot of stuff while being completely aware of their consequences - but thats not possible. ouma is not a superhuman who can figure out what happens to the world in [insert year]. hes a character with deep flaws which balances his cunning behavior

to his actual personality, i might seem like the most biased person in the world but i truly believe that ouma didnt want to harm anyone. its just that the killing game... happened lol

as far as i can self-insert, i do believe if i happen to be in a killing game i would be quite similar about it. minus the creating a fake persona thing for me its absolutely impossible to trust 15 people whom i just met that they wouldnt kill me under stress. you know, if you activate the right buttons on someone, they can work how you want them to. and this is what feared ouma (rightly so)

anyways i take the anthologies as canon material since theyre approved and licensed by spike chunsoft, and we obviously see that ouma is nowhere near as antagonistic as he was in the game. although, i only have read the first anthology (also while we are at it, i cant wait to buy the thjree v3 anthologies even without knowing japanese, lulz)

but we also see his character actually getting darker and darker with each chapter, with chapter 4 probably taking the point. esp on when it ended. at first i was kind of conflicted about his oversentimal reaction towards gonta being executed, because that felt just as fake as his overly evil presentation afterwards. altho after some time thinking abt this, i came to the conclusion that he just leaked a little bit of his juicy true self(tm), realized that what he meant was actually genuine and then proceed to vent his emotions in making him seem like the most villainous person u ever met. because i think one of the reasons ouma acted out like is because he believed he was at fault for gontas death. so instead of trying to sweet talk yourself, he just took the oppurtunity to make him the least likeable person. cuz who would ever want to like someone who jokes about genuinely being concered about someone dying? yeah no one dude

also i think ouma is ironically a bit well-mannered (yeah guis im not joking here). .. .if we ignore all his stupid pranks.. so you see, whenever i got rejected after dates with ouma in salmon mode.. it went like this for example “eeh, wow you are going to the libary with me and now you want to leave? that hella rude man, why am i wasting my time like this” or “wow you really must think highly of yourself if you think you are worth changing for, how arrogant” which looks like he knows what is appropriate and what not

i remember what he said that and i suddenly went like “shit i cant believe im hearing this from you man” which was kinda funny as a side note btw

anyways, to his motive video. oh shit, his motive video . . . even without having known how messed up the translation was, that damaged me.-.. i mean i always thought that ouma exaggerated the size of his organization, at some poiint i just thought that his entire organization was a lie and his tru talent was the ultimate liar. which obsly wasnt the case lmao

but his motive video.. just wanting to prank ppl for laughs and entertainment. its so light hearted compared to what he claimed it to be that it hurts another thing that i think is worth noting is that DICE was his motive video, not his family. DICE, who is like family. but not his actual family. what does that mean? does that mean that his actual family wasnt like family to ouma? i sure as hell thought so and i still do

a different thing is that ouma said that nobody would care about him dying and that his organization would be better off without him, plus that it seems that monokuma said that ouma knows what happened to DICE in the motive video which leads me to.. uhh.. what if ouma did something he absolutely regretted doing (since it caused DICE trouble?) - but im not entire set on that theory

its also sad that he constantly had to hint about hiimself instead of just talking abt it to shuichi. like, he wanted shuichi to help him or actually even hinder him at carrying out his plan, he low key hoped for it because shuichi is a detective which showed to be shrewd enough to be able to make proper deductoins in class trials, furthermore he isnt a dick towards ouma and actually respects him in a way. something that ouma most likely didnt calculate

which mades the statement that shuichi said in the end of chapter 4 even more painful. shuichi was the only person that ouma kind of trusted and relied on. and prob the only one he wanted to show his true self to, that very person told him hes 5 ever alone with no friends at all. that hes a pathetic little brat who should start to view the world differently (def not what shuichi said 1:1 but.. yeah idk my own interpretation)

im pretty sure that hurt ouma a lot

hnnng, i truly wished for ouma to be one of the survivors. altho i figured that hes gonna plot something absolutely mind blowing in chapter 5, i seriously couldnt believe that he was actually dead... well, not until the closing argument. as soon as there were the words “closing argument” all over my screen i began to cry like an idiot. i couldnt even read properly man, thats just how blurry my vision was from all the tears

in other hand: i was (and still am lol) extremely attached to ouma and his death was very unsatisfying, since he died quite heroic but nobody considered him so. also he never made up with these ppl. also fuck kodaka

#drv3 spoilers #ouma kokichi #my posts #im trying this very sleep deprived so excuse me for my grammar and spelling mistakes u will ever seen one #ill try to correct it after i get some sleep

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dropdeadesu · 7 years

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AAAAA TOOOOOM~

I’ve had a lot of messages asking about A Tom interactions, so here it is!! I got to spend a good chunk of time with him :]

A Tom was a wild ride from start to finish.

I had a little bit of an interaction earlier when I was mostly talking with Hojoon. I was wearing long sleeves, and my sweater's sleeve had started to fall up while I had my hands up, exposing my wrist piercings (two dermals, one on each wrist). While talking to Hojoon, I noticed that A Tom was staring. Getting his attention, I asked if he wanted to see - this is a super common thing. I have people ask me to look at them all the time at work. He nodded, mouth full of food, and I leaned over the table just a bit to show him. After staring for a moment, a new wave of food came by and he literally ate off the serving plate. Its good, because Hojoon looked a bit uncomfortable (more with his story).

A while after, we mentioned that someone at that end of the table thought A Tom was handsome/they were biased with him, and Manager went "Tommy! Tommy!!" A Tom perked, asparagus still hanging from his mouth as he played musical chairs and swapped around. (The fact that he goes by 'Tommy' is one of my favorite things.)

"Australia?? Are you from Australia?" And we corrected him "No, America" and his eyes light up.

"Americaaaaa! I like America, I like Americans!"

I almost made a comment about 'at least someone does', but I didn't think he would catch my sarcasm well so I refrained.

He asked where we were from, and we told him Salt Lake. He perked. "New York!?"

"No, A Tom."

He looked confused for a minute, so I pulled out my phone. While I pulled up where we were from, I tried to tell him it was where the Olypmics were since the other members seemed to know about that. When it loaded, A Tom straight up took my phone OUT OF MY HAND and scrolled through pictures. "Oh, its pretty!!"

"Yea, theres a lot of mountains. And snow."

He started to just go through my phone at that point. Finally, when he set it down, he looked around and started asking everyone how old we were - I had learned by now this would happen with every single member.

Laira and I are near PGoon's age, and we mentioned we were Noona's, and he asked "Oh, PGoon?" And we nodded. He looked at Rae and asked if she was a noona, and she shook her head and he goes "Oh! Dongsaeng!! Chingu, friend!" He then fist bumped her. It was cute, so we all laughed - until he turned to us and goes "Ahjumma~"

Laira and Cheri's faces both dropped. I sat there like a dumbass and nodded, going 'sure!', which of course made him laugh in the very typical A Tom style. Laira was not pleased, and he picked up on this, going “Sorry, sorry!”

I was confused, and it wasn’t until later I found out that he was calling us Grandma’s.

He then started asking everyone their name, and asking how to spell it since he wasn't entirely used to western names. When it got to me he was very confused (Des, they were understanding as 'death' or DETH - I had to pull out my phone again and spell it so he understood). With Rae he got REAL excited because apparently he likes an artist that's spelled the same way her name is, so he asked me for my phone again - this time I gave him my iPod, it's less dangerous to go through that. He pulled up Apple Music and started to go through my library until I switched it over and he put the artist in. (After he went through my music and ended up in my Vocaloid section. He asked me for help after that).

"Listen - if you like Rap, they're good! You like rap?"

We love rap and hip hop, so we told him yes. He grinned.

"You like rappers~?"

Once again, we told him yes. And at this point, Laira decides to spill the beans on Rae.

"She really likes rap - and she thinks you're handsome!"

A Tom grinned. "I am handsome~"

I couldn't stop laughing. His playful self confidence just SCREAMED Gemini, and it was funny, even if he was being extremely casual. I still prefer it over a fake persona.

He pulled his drink closer and started to talk about how he liked coffee a lot - he was drinking it black, over ice, through a bendy straw. It seemed to really fit his personality, honestly. Laira pointed something out I didn't really notice.

"A Tom, what happened to your hand?"

He looked down at his thumb - it was entirely wrapped in a bandage, it looked like it had been sprained or something. "Oh, this?" He leaned back and sighed. "It was a fight."

"A fight??"

"Yea.. 17 men."

Are you serious. We played along.

"Oh, really?" I leaned forward a bit, "All trying to fight you?"

"Yea, man!" He grinned.

"Did you win?"

"Of course! I fought them, all 17.” He paused barely for dramatic effect, “All at once!"

I wanted to make a reference to Old Boy at this point, but almost deemed it inappropriate. He sat, smiling and nodding for a bit, before he looked across us all.

"....I was playing basketball."

We laughed, so did he.

"Yea, just tell people you fought the 17 men."

He laughed at my joke and pulled his drink forward again.

I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I really wanted to give some of the members their stuff. "We brought presents!"

"Present?" He set his drink down, and I nodded and pointed to the two duffel bags sitting next to him - his eyes almost bulged out of his head.

"...For us?"

"Yea!"

"What is it?"

"Lots of stuff!"

He continued to stare at the bags, so I leaned over just a bit. "....Do you wanna see?"

When he nodded, I unzipped the bag - A Tom was the first person we started handing things out to, so I dug through the contents and pulled out his labeled bag of candy and card. I handed them to him and he looked over them, and grinned.

"Is this chocolate?"

"Yea!"

He laughed, then proceeded to speak in an American accent, saying "Chocolate" mostly over and over again. He looked at the bag - at this point I felt the need to point out something vital.

"Oh, some stuff in there you can't eat."

He looked up. "What?"

We had put honey sticks in, and also glow sticks, so I pulled out some of the glowsticks and cracked them and shook them before putting one around his wrist. It was super bright in the room, so the effects weren’t very apparent. Cupping his hand over his wrist, he looked down into the shining glowstick. “Aww right...We clubbin’!” He laughed and waved his arm around, seeming rather pleased.

Laira grinned. “Would you like to take us to some clubs? We don’t know where any are!!”

A Tom lowered his arm, “Ah...I actually don’t really like clubs....” He laughed, seeming almost sheepish at this.

“No, thats okay!” I shook my own head, “We’ve been nervous to go to any alone.. But what about arcades?” He looked up, “What kind?” I wasn’t really sure what he meant, really. We had been to an arcade the day before that seemed like a Nickle-cade or something similar we’d have in America, but we had also seen a couple of claw-machines that were labeled arcade. Knowing that he’d done a ‘date’ type video before at one of those, we started talking about those. “The claw machines!” He stared, looking puzzled. Laira then began to pantomime a claw machine reaching down and taking a toy, with her balled up fist being the toy. He watched, seeming very amused, and then laughed. “Oh!! Doll machines!” We nodded, “Yea, those!! We have a bunch by our hotel!!” We started telling him stories about how we got a bunch the other day and how a guy even stopped to help us get them. The entire time, he was nodding and listening, going over the bag of candy we had given him.

"...Pop rocks!!!" He pointed these out.

"Yea! You don't have those here, do you?"

"No, but I know what they are."

I reached under and pulled out another one of A Tom's gifts - Twister. I handed it to him, and his eyes sorta went wide.

"What...What!?"

I explained how you put the mat on the floor, and how we were sure he's seen other people do it and play it, and we told him we thought it would be a fun thing to live stream on V or something. He seemed to like that idea.

Even though he had been extremely casual, I'm sure he was worried that he had crossed a line into offensive territory without meaning to. We told him a few times that he hadn't, and that he was fine.

I have an obsession with hair, so now was around the time I decided to ask A Tom about his.

"A Tom, do you like having your shorter hair?" I was mostly curious because BJoo and Hansol both stated that they preferred their hair shorter and more natural now. Seeing that A Tom was younger than them and we hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to Yano much, I was curious.

He looked at me for a sec, and smiled, running his hand along the side of his head as he seemed to think. He did this a lot while he spoke, actually.

"It's not bad! It looks good."

We asked him if he liked it better than his old 'broccoli' hair and he was quiet again for a minute.

"I'm not teasing!" I assured him, a bit worried that he thought we were. "We liked it, a lot! But its new, so we were wondering since other members changed too."

He sighed, still smiling. "I miss it. That was my favorite hair, but Korea hated it - so I change to something they liked."

I genuinely felt bad. That sucks. We all expressed sympathy for him and he shook his head.

"See! This is why I like my fans - they liked the Broccoli hair like I did!" He picked up his drink and gave us a flirty, 'idol' look. "I love you guys~"

"We love you too, A Tom!!"

He was taking a sip of his coffee right as we said this, and I don't think he expected such an enthusiastic response, because he snorted into his coffee and slid back in his chair. There was an intense search for Napkins, and Laira offered him to use her sleeve (which he was adamant on not taking), but I think after that he was embarrassed regardless of how much we tried to console him. That was around the time that Xero started to yell that he was coming over to hang out with us and more or less kicked A Tom out of his seat. I didn't get to see much more of A Tom later on, he sorta just moseyed around. He was leaving his stuff strewn around everywhere, so I grabbed his card and handed it back to him to make sure he took it before he ran off.

#a tom #topp dogg #kpop #meet up 2017

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radramblog · 3 years

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Nintendo Direct E3 Takes

Well we’re pretty much done with E3 at this point, and it looks like once again Nintendo is carrying the whole damn thing on their back.

This is obviously a bit biased, because I’m not really into the AAA gaming industry otherwise, and the only other potential announcement I cared about didn’t happen. You had one fucking job, Capcom. One job.

Anyway as I did last time this came around I’m giving some hot takes like every single other person on this godforsaken internet because innovation is dead and react culture is king. Shall we?

Smash DLC Fighter…10 or something idk

I mean, look. I was hoping for an indie representative. Kazuya isn’t really that. But on the other hand, Tekken rep is something I can still get behind. They’ve already got Street Fighter and Fatal Fury in there, might as well get Tekken. What’s next, Raiden from Mortal Kombat? Hell, might as well get some Rivals of Aether character in there, might as well, don’t even have to change much.

From what little we’ve seen of Kazuya’s kit, it looks like his gimmick is going to be…complicated input combos for special attacks. Hm. Well, it’ll probably be fine. People managed with Ryu, they’ll manage with Kazuya. I do appreciate that they gave this guy his demon form- I guess they had to make him jump somehow, huh?

Life is Strange

I haven’t played the original Life is Strange, but I did watch a playthrough so I know how it goes. Don’t really know much about Before the Storm or 2, but I don’t think 2 is part of this collection anyway? Look I’m probably not going to buy this, but it’s probably good that it exists. The original was like, actual good rep, I think, so they’re probably not going to fuck this one up. New character is neat looking, good for them.

A Bunch of games, I guess

Guardians of the Galaxy? Damn dude, did I ask?

Worms Rumble said it had 32-person multiplayer, which I was like well hang on how’s that going to work with turn-based Worms combat you’d be waiting for ever. Except it isn’t turn-based. And it looks like ass as a result. F.

Astria Ascending…I’m reading this name and I already forgot what this was. Sorry if you cared about it I suppose.

I know nothing of the Two Point…series, I guess? I keep on seeing Hospital pop up on either Steam or the eShop, and I’ve scrolled past it without thinking twice every single time. Not about to change that.

Super Monkey Ball

I understand this series was a lot of fun for a lot of people, but it just looks miserable to me. With that said, I have seen some speedruns of these games that look incredible, so on that axis I’m happy this is getting made. Makes doing a marathon-length run of this a fair bit easier.

Mario Party

Look I haven’t even gotten around to playing my (very fake) Mario Party 3 cart, you think I’m going to buy another 80 dollar game on top of that? Nah.

Metroid

Yoooooooooooooo lets fucking gooooooooooooo

Okay so I’ve actually never beaten a Metroid game. Got some ways into Fusion and Super but didn’t complete either of them. But this looks super cool and good and I’m here for it. They mentioned that this was the first new 2D Metroid game in 19 years, which I guess means Fusion was the latest one.

…wait how many Metroid games are there even? Like, the original, Super, Fusion, the three Primes, and that one we don’t talk about…is that it? That feels a lot smaller than I thought it was, but I guess it adds up.

Just don’t cock it up, I guess. Metroid and Castlevania’s absence have left indie devs to fight for the Metroidvania name, and it’s about time the big boys got to come back around again.

More bullshit

Just Dance 2022. Is this one also coming out on the Wii?

Some racing game that looks cheap as fuck, neato. Man I feel bad for the devs working on these absolute shovelware games, like I bet they’re either working hard or being worked to the bone. But this is what the result is. R.I.P.

It’s about 13 years too late for me to be caring about Dragon Ball. Especially since this is just a port. Next.

Mario Golf

I mean we saw this earlier this year. I don’t even know what was actually new in this presentation.

Bowsers outfit is fucking clean though. Once again proving himself the best Mario character.

Monster Hunter

Fuck off Capcom. Y’all are leaving Mega Man in the fucking dust and he doesn’t deserve it.

I mean I guess ill get into it here, I mostly just wanted something, anything for the Mega Man Battle Network series. It’s their 20th anniversary, and we haven’t gotten shit so far. Literally just a MMBN collection for the switch, that’s all I want. They were even on the Wii U VC, you can just port those again, I don’t care fucking give it to me.

Anyway. Monhun? Ehhh they already showed this at their lacklustre presentation who cares.

Warioware

Look I haven’t played this series before, it’s probably fun, but I’m not sure how they stretch microgame content out into a fully-priced game.

Also, the multiplayer looks kinda miserable? Like, in case Mario Party was a little too efficient for ruining friendships, now you can yell at one person specifically for fucking the both of you up, and vice versa. Wheeeeee.

SMT5

Shoutouts to Squiggy, they’re super hype for this and I’m happy to see it. I personally again haven’t played this series, let alone Persona (though 4 is sitting untouched in my steam library, oops), but it looks pretty aight. I’m sure there’ll be a huge pile of demons to fuck up, or friend up, and some level of story that people will like (I have literally no idea what the plot of the series is), so. Atlus (?) has been at this for a long fucking time, they aren’t goofing this up.

Danganronpa

Shirtless Rantaro Shirtless Rantaro (shamelessly stolen from u/ AnaLissaMelculo on r/danganronpa)

I’m interested to see Talent Development Plan develop into it’s own fully fleshed out game. It was surprisingly good for a tacked-on minigame, and I hope that they’ll fully take advantage of its potential.

It also looks like the 4 games are releasing separately on Switch, but there is a physical collectors edition with all of them, and I mean, I can probably afford that, riiiiight?

R.I.P. Ultra Despair Girls fans, snubbed yet again. Ehhhh fuck it aside from the dialogue that game sucks ass so its fine.

More stuff

Fatal Frame looks spooky, I guess. I dunno, I was talking to mates through half of this one so I basically missed it.

DOOM Eternal DLC, cool. I still haven’t finished the original.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater should be on the Switch, and now it is. Or, it will be, in a couple weeks. Good.

There’s something on this list of notes called Strange Brigade, and I have literally no idea what that is. Oops again.

Mario+Rabbids 2, now with a Rabbid Goth GF. I’m terrified to go on any fuckin NSFW platforms for the next couple weeks, because I’m sure everyone is drawing incredibly cursed hentai of that thing. Ubisoft sucks ass, fuck Ubisoft, don’t buy this.

Advance Wars

This sure isn’t Fire Emblem. Actually when I was explaining to my mates why this was cool, I called it Fire Emblem but with tanks instead of waifus, except I forgot this game still has waifus. I know strategy nerds love this series, so for their sake I’m happy to see it remade. This just looks unbelievably cute.

Zelda

Oh look, Hyrule Warriors 2 DLC, Zelda gets the motorbike now, cool who fucking cares we got more BOTW sequel footage

It does kinda bug me that people keep calling this BOTW 2, because there’s no way that’s what it’s going to be called. Zelda has never done numbered sequels. I mean, they’ve also very rarely done sequels at all, but there are a few- Phantom Hourglass is a sequel to Wind Waker iirc.

It is kinda funny that right after I was saying boo who cares to Skyward Sword remake (still mad this is one game and not a collection) that the new game clearly has SS-ass floating islands and such.

I was hoping we’d get to see Zelda do things this game. Apparently not, she’s stuck in a hole now. Or dead. A shame. But Link at least looks kickass, so.

Look, they could not say a single other thing until release and everyone would still buy this game. Breath of the Wild was an incredible enough game that so many things that vaguely resemble it get compared- Genshin Impact comes to mind. This is likely made by the same (or similar) team, in the same world, and it looks fucking incredible. We all know this is going to be a good game. My hot take isn’t going to change that.

And that’s the tea, sis. All the shit that Ninty had in their corner of E3. It’s a pretty solid lineup! It looks like they are bringing their A-game. I was kind of surprised not to see any Pokemon stuff- while it usually gets its own direct these days, BDSP is really coming up soon and they kinda need to win back the crowd on that one.

Oh what am I saying, it’s fucking Nintendo, it’s too big to fail.

#ramble #video games #nintendo direct #e3 blogging #reaction content #this is how you get big on the internet right

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