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#it’s gonna be the ‘I Know More Than You.’ meme
itsabouttimex2 · 11 hours
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Taken Abroad is sooo good! And the accompanying memes are great too 💖
Bro imagine if demon reader went full hardcore one day and just keeps letting to circlets dig into their flesh and bone until their hands just fall off, using the second they separate to vanish. Like they are a forest demon, so what if they just regrow their hands? Or make prosthetic nature ones? Like I’m sure their freedom wouldn’t last long (thanks to Monkey King’s gold vision) but I’d love to see the group’s reaction to such gruesome determination!
Taken Aboard:
Amputation
I’m glad you like it! I really thought that the Journeyfam should have a mix of goofy and tragic, because the novel itself can get pretty damn funny.
Another ‘funny’ thing? This little stunt wouldn’t work at all. Given what we know about Wukong’s powers, he can rip his head off and regenerate it (His beheading contest with the Tiger Strength Immortal in the novel) and since he’s still got the circlet after that…
Y/N will still have theirs.
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And obviously no one is happy to see that this child would do something so horribly gruesome and bloody to themself, leaving to a wide array of horrified reactions.
Ao Lie is devastated that you would hurt yourself for any reason at all. Once you’ve been dragged back to camp by the snickering Monkey King, the dragon prince rushes to your side and snatches you up, nuzzling you to his chest. “Oh, I’m glad you’re alright! You poor little thing, what were you thinking? Trying to slice those bands off! Sweetie, what if something had gone wrong during the regrowing process? Here, let Brother Lie wash the blood off of you!”
He dotes on you for a good hour or two, starting by thoroughly scrubbing you down in a shallow washbasin. (He heats the water in his draconic form.) There’s a mixture of very light scolding and extraordinary concern, scraping all across your body with a wooden bath brush. Once you’re nice and clean you get wrapped up in one of his spare robes to dry off, forced to sit and listen to one of the monk’s lectures as Lie brushes out and braids your hair.
“I think you need to start sleeping in Brother Lie’s tent from now on, sweetie. Maybe it’ll help to keep those little feet from wandering, hmm?”
His voice is gentle, even as you’re forcibly stuffed into a thick sleeping bag, the same one that Lie always uses. For a moment you think he’s simply going to watch you to prevent any further escapades, but then he squishes in beside you, wrapping you tight in his arms.
“Sleep well, sweetie. Big brother will keep you safe.”
———————————————————————-
Sun Wukong laughs at you first, having tried the same thing by: smashing his forehead inwards, shattering his skull entirely, ripping his head off, etc. “You could have just asked for some advice on the cuffs, bud. I would’ve told ya that they jump back to your real body, y’know!”
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His hands work through the tangled locks of your hair, plucking out juicy bugs and crunchy twigs. “Shut up,” you huff, squirming around in his lap. “I hate them. And you wouldn’t have known whether or not it would’ve worked! You only have one of them!” “S’not fair,” he half-heartedly agrees, if only to set up his next few word. “You should’ve just had one- around your neck to shut you up!”
The Great Sage giggles as you lunge at him, dodging your attempt to bite his wrist. “Easy, easy! C’mon, I was just teasing you!” He grabs your waist and wrestles you to the ground, his fingers dragging lightly across your skin as he tries to force a few giggles or even just a smile out of you. Between angry laughs you manage to throw a punch, feeling his snout bend under your hand.
And though it doesn’t hurt worse than a mild sting, Wukong is still a little astounded that his ‘little sibling’ got outright violent with him. “…you know what, bud? Maybe you do need some ‘quiet time’. I’m gonna keep you here in my lap for a few more hours, I think. And! No saying even a word!”
And before you can argue or complain he tacks on a “How bout I tell you another story from my time back in Flower Fruit Mountain, huh?” Of course you get a story, because this isn’t really a punishment, after all. He’s just framing it as one so you ‘have’ to sit and spend time with one. He’s a pretty clever monkey.
“…a story about killing hunters?”
“Sure thing, kiddo.”
———————————————————————-
Sha Wujing has no words. He’s hurt and saddened that you would do this to yourself, nearly in tears at the sight of your wounds. He finally has people who accept not only his mistakes and misdeed, but his demonic form alongside them.
And now one has done this.
To Wujing, this isn’t just a team of random travelers. This is his family. You are his family. And he cannot bear to see you so upset and distraught that you might switch to such gruesome and self-injurious behaviors.
The river demon will switch to baby gloves afterwards, treating you like a porcelain figure that is bound to shatter when mishandled.
He’ll carry you on his shoulders and his back and in his arms, squishing your tiny form perfectly into his protective chest. For hours on end the demon will usher you about, never daring to let you free from the safety and security that his power offers.
Instead of allowing you to feed yourself, Wujing will push cut your meals into pieces and them to you piece by piece, ensuring that you won’t choke (intentionally or otherwise) on them. And he won’t let you get dressed alone
He sees the severance of your limbs more as a form of “self-harm” than an attempt to escape, unfortunately for you. It leads him to think of you as a danger to yourself that needs to be properly wrangled and tended to.
All you can do when he’s around from then on is submit to “Brother Sand’s” loving care, and pray he might stop thinking of you as unstable and prone to breakage.
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Zhu Bajie is thoroughly disgusted, though that revulsion is born mostly of worry. Nobody wants to see a kid slice off their own wrists, and he certainly wasn’t hoping to see you standing in a puddle of your own blood, your torn flesh bubbling sizzling and bubbling up as it regrew.
And he especially didn’t want something so awful to happen to his little sibling. Not to someone so very precious to him.
Bajie really just… doesn’t know what to do.
You’re hurt. Usually this scenario ends with him either eating a human or smashing a demon’s head open with his nine-tooth rake. And he’d fight off the monk’s reprimands with his own volley of justifications. “Y/N is a child! Any jerk who would hurt them is unforgivable!” He’d declare, his mouth stained with fresh crimson. “A demon who would put their hands on a child is just a monster, that’s all,” the pig might yell, clutching you to his chest protectively.
Neither of those are options when you’ve the person that hurt you is yourself.
All the swine can really do is hold you and try not to scream your ear off about never hurting yourself again, rocking back and forth like he’s trying to soothe a baby to sleep.
Maybe that will help.
Maybe if he holds you long enough and keeps his grip tight, Bajie can prevent you from being hurt by anyone or anything ever again.
Or maybe it’s just his way of keeping you from leaving him and this little family again.
———————————————————————-
Tang Sanzang, reasonable man that he is, understands that you’re not in a great headspace right now. If things got so bad that you viewed the gory removal of your arms as a reasonable option to escape, then what you need isn’t further punishment… but a firm and guiding hand.
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So the monk refrains from the sutra and chooses instead to tend to your fragile condition. Reassurance that he isn’t angry at what you’ve done to yourself, a promise that you’re already forgiven for running. I think he’s likely to mandate constant surveillance of you from now, always to be under the eye of either him or one of his disciples.
He tends any wounds or aches with balm, stitches the tears in your clothing, then puts you to bed with a canteen of water at your side.
His well of patience is truly endless, only leaving room for an occasional reprimand or a quick tightening of the blessed bands on your wrists. There’s no lashing out, no brutal punishments.
Hurting yourself has not changed that.
Sanzang will spend each early morning before travel checking you over for new wounds and changing out any bandages you’ve got wrapped around old injuries.
The Great Monk stills cherishes you, of course. He’ll never stop cherishing you.
He’s just a little more gentle with that love now.
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goldensunset · 6 months
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brain’s about to get in trouble with whatever stuffy local authority’s in place for saying only ‘ephemer’ as opposed to ‘master ephemer’ because they see eph as being some sort of deity or whatever and he’s gonna be like ‘I Personally Knew The Guy. I watched him light his microwave mac and cheese on fire because he forgot to put the water in it on multiple occasions. you’re descended from him? that’s cute. he and i once rode in a shopping cart downhill and crashed into the fountain together. we had a warrior’s bond. with all due respect i’m not doing the whole formalities thing for him’
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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Concept: LQR big naturals but also with the flattest ass. Make him a titty dorito
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Lan Qiren Breasted Boobily down the stairs of Cloud Recess
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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better-call-mau1 · 8 months
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megullumverrr · 2 months
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i have officially reached pique humor.
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diathadevil · 10 months
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Both have the same energy. No I shall not elaborate any further.
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coollyinterferes · 2 months
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"Back by unpopular demand:"
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"Us!"
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Percy would take a pinky promise more seriously than he would an oath on the river Styx
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felinelun · 1 year
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Doctors and word "sexy", because why not, it's 3 a.m. and I have to wake up at 7
First Doctor: Looks like someone who'd make others wash their mouth with soap if he hears them using the word ("Young Man! Yes, yes, you, mr. Chesterfield, what was that just now? How old are you, hm?! Well, you are clearly too young to use the word!"), but actually he'd be the one to call something "very sexy, very sexy indeed" at the most unexpected of all moments and then just run away with no explanation, chuckling mischievously.
Second Doctor: Completely forgot meaning of the word. Still used it anyway cluelessly. Until Jamie explained it to him one day. The Doctor listened and called Jamie "rather sexy, than", blushing slightly. And then proceeded to torture his recorder, playing "Twinkle twinkle little star" on it.
Third Doctor: Only the Six Doctor uses word "sexy" more frequent than him. Brigadier thinks he has no subordination and gives bad example to the stuff. But once he secretly smiles when the Doctor uses the word right in front of some high government official to describe the idea of a new nature preservation law.
Fourth Doctor: Finds blowing stuff up and fighting giant mutant rats very sexy. An example:
Doctor: Look at that rocket over there, Sarah Jane! Isn't it sexy?
Sarah Jane: Oh, it's very sexy, Doctor!
Doctor: Shame, it's full of highly dangerous weapons that will be banned on every civilised planet very soon in this century... So, I'm afraid, we'll have to blow it up until some of those solders gets into it and delivers those weapons on some innocent world! *proceeds to smile insanely*
Do not finds falling from big heights sexy. At all.
Fifth Doctor: Looks like someone who wouldn't now the word. Or who'd pretend not to... One day Tegan decided to explain it to him, just for the fun of it, but just ended up with Nyssa getting rather confused about life, universe and everything. Seeing the situation the Doctor paled a bit, than blushed a little, than started rambling something about lifespan of a Venusian infusoria and than intercepted the Master's TARDIS trace all of a sudden.
He blushed a little again.
Six(y) Doctor: Ah, Pery, just look at this sexy young man! So dashing, so outstanding!
Pery: Doctor. That's a mirror.
The Doctor: Exactly! Now, take a step away, don't obstruct me from admiering the defiance of sexyness itself!
Seventh Doctor: Finds manipulation, fighting lovecraftian horrors and killing hundreds to save millions sexy. And no, when the Master does it, it is called tyranny, world domination and genocide.
Eighth Doctor: Thinks the Universe is sexy. The feeling is not mutual.
War Doctor: Has more important things to worry about.
Ninth Doctor: Is not sure in anything anymore, but if there's something he can tell you certainly it's that daleks and PTSD are Not sexy At all.
Tenth Doctor: Looks like somebody who'd use the word 24/7, but actually said "sexy" only two times in his life and just to impress a companion.
Eleventh Doctor: Looks like somebody who'd use the word to call his car without completely understanding it. And is exactly that person, except one day Amy explained the word to him. Well, he proceeded to call his car "sexy", because what else!
Twelfth Doctor: At first used his sonic sunglasses because he thought they looked sexy. Than lost any way to see if anything is sexy at all. The sunglasses kinda lost their appeal afterwards.
Thirteenth Doctor: Thinks the Universe and repressing PTSD is sexy. The feeling is not mutual.
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The other night I had a dream that there was a hot new parody of the song Lump by Presidents of the United States of America. Tragically, I don't remember any of the parody lyrics beyond the chorus of "she's Lump, she's Lump, she's Lump" being replaced with "he's Trump, he's Trump, he's Trump".
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sabraeal · 8 months
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️
As I said on my first fic rec post, I have written very many fics and I love almost all of them, so I can't pick FAVORITES so much as CATEGORIES, and this category is going to be "Fics Joanna Made Me Write Outside My Comfort Zone Because It's Good For Me Or Something"
Whenever I view the moon on the battlefield This was the FIRST fic I wrote outside of ANS fandom, and if that was not already out of my usual groove enough, it's also from the POV of one of the minor characters in Hakuouki, Shimada Kai. The concept was originally conceived while I was streaming a playthrough for the obiyuki discord-- Yamazaki (our best boy) and Shimada are both spies and spend quite a bit of time off screen, so we kept running into scenes and being like "how AWKWARD is it for those two to be watching this right now?" And so when it finally came time for me to throw my hat into the yamachi ring...Joanna asked for THIS to be the fic. You know. Instead of one where Yamazaki and Chizuru actually kiss or whatever. Sigh.
The Most Perverse Creature in the World Listen. I know there are people out there who LOVE xReader fics. I'm happy for you, truly. I am not one of them. But after answering the fandom fuck/marry/kill game (otherwise known as only one bed/slow burn/enemies to lovers) with small littler blurbs about the kind of story I would write for the older gentlemen in ANS (Shidan, Lata & Haruka), SOME PEOPLE got very invested in Haruka's little enemies-to-lovers blurb. Some people made puppy eyes. Some people made puppy eyes and then got very sick after, and I AM A GOOD FRIEND and wrote ONE CHAPTER and have never known a day of peace since. Six years later it's up to thirteen chapters, has a very complicated plot involving the politics of taxing oral sex, and I've learned how to effectively write in 2nd person.
don't speak boyshit I cannot properly explain how absolutely in our heads the Maria/Kamitani pairing is, but like. It's good okay?? Joanna did not so much force me to write this one so much as like...emphatically encourage its existence, to the point where I have a very complicated outline and she routinely reminds me I'll finish it when i'm like. 50. But this is certainly the gateway fic to the OTHER fics for this pairing she DOES want to twist my arm over, SO ON THE LIST IT GOES. I am one of TWO authors in this ship tag, and also one of TWO fics...and yet this is one of my most popular non-ANS fics 🤣
If the Mind Is Willing This is a fic Joanna will HAPPILY admit to being the main driver for, since, as she puts it, "there is no one else who could possibly ever write this fic." Taking TWO very niche concepts (LARP and a SURPRISE FOR LATER) and a very niche pairing (yamachi) would perhaps not have been MY first choice...but Joanna asked for the first chapter as a birthday gift a few years back and here I am, learning a whole new tabletop system and really giving my FBI agent something to talk about at the watercooler.
He Who Studies Evil Of all the niche fics Joanna has convinced me to put to paper (or at least, word document), this is probably takes the top spot. A prequel to my obiyuki Star Trek AU, this covers events about 10 years previous, with Haruka taking over DS9 and immediately being thrown into a political nightmare when he is informed that the Cardassians are in possession of a missing human child. This took...an INORDINATE amount of time to research and write-- I hadn't seen DS9 since I was in high school, and I watched through nearly half a season just to get the timeline right-- but I still REALLY love how it came out. Which is good, because it is definitely one of my least read fics 🤣
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soldier-poet-king · 1 year
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I am not obligated to argue with people on the internet. The internet is not a good place for debate or genuine discourse.
I am not obligated to argue with people on the internet. The internet is not a good place for debate or genuine discourse.
I am not obligated to argue with people on the internet. The internet is not a good place for debate or genuine discourse.
#affirmations for myself on this god abandonded afternoon#girl help. the trads found my niceness post.#its like. the garfield meme. huh. wonder who that's about#bestie it was ABOUT terfs and people being disgusting assholes#like you can hold whatever opinion and whether i agree or not is irrelevant#to if youre gonna treat someone like a human being#and not preach truth in love or whatever bullshit you wanna call ur assholery#would you say this shit to Christ's face???? no??? then stfu#also I DIDNT say niceness was a a virtue#i said mercy and compassion were#but even if i WASNT acting out of compassion and love#i would still choose niceness over whatever bullshit y'all got going on in the name of truth or whatver#literally. always alwayd always always forever and ever i will err on the side of mercy and charity#and not of what yall are calling truth and justice#bc. truly. i dont think thats it. i dont think thats divine justice.#the mercy-justice continuum is more complex. who am i to make that decision#what pride must i have to act as if i understand or speak for the divine#i know what i am and what i am capable of. and it is small kindness above all else#i cant be snarky and sharp tongued and self righteous. i cant stand it i cant abide it#i hate it perhaps more than anything but because i WAS that awful person#im not even sorry for being a little harsh. thats untrue. i am sorry. but im not sorry for believing this callous cruelty to be a injustice#an injustice perpetuated in the name of so called justice and truth
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the one time my show's (not mine but yk very small fandom) tag is actually used and it's for ridicule and discourse. now that stuff will be the only stuff you can see :/
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WIDE DAIGO. He wide putin walks
step into the tojo clan and you see the chairman and all you hear.
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interiorlulus · 6 months
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Getting reaaaal tired of my friend's subtle transphobia (particularly transmisogyny). Cis women redirect your insecurity somewhere else and stop going after trans people challenge failed.
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01tsubomi · 1 year
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kamikaze girls. cult classic in the lolita fashion community as a story that explores the subculture alongside the subculture of girl biker gangs. there’s a movie and it’s really really good so i decided to read the original novel too. and mamma mia
the thing abt the wlw experience is that the bond between girls is. unexplainable and deep and special. while researching for a video essay school project about yuri last year i found an article by a japanese yuri scholar lesbian who found it confusing that so much american wlw media is focused on unambiguous in-your-face romances, when yuri as a genre is based on how those bonds between women, even while being labeled platonic, are deeply deeply intimate and important and meaningful. there’s a lot in there abt how yuri media isn’t meant to prove a point about acceptance which is why it’s not considered meaningful to canonize and clarify romances the way it absolutely has been in the scope of western queer media, but it’s also stayed on my mind bc there are so many sapphic YA books i’ve read that kinda just. have the girls blush abt each other being pretty and wanting to kiss and stuff without really getting at all into just how deep and meaningful bonds between girls are even before romance and how in female friendships there’s this sense of knowing who you are with each other and just feeling understood and comfortable and trusted. but anyway this is the last line of the kamikaze girls novel
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“the way you would with a lover, i let the breeze wash over me, and gently, nestled my head in ichigo’s back.”
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