#it's not like I'm keeping up with other dramas

[starcursedluvrs]

"TALK"

I suguru x pregnant!reader

“And I’d be the immediate  Forgiveness  In Eurydice.  Imagine being loved by me.” 

part I of suguru x pregnant!reader (this isn’t completely canon compliant, and will probs be 3 or 4 parts and will go up to December 24th, 2017 on the current JJK timeline).  

summary: you loved suguru more than anything in this world. and you could argue he felt the same for you. actually, he would end the world for you. so, he took you with him the night he defected, and you happily obliged. however, in the midst of the chaos of leaving your life behind, two little lines appear on a certain test causing you to rethink your entire plan. 

A/N: heyyy!! i'm arden!! this is my first try at ever posting the fanfic I’ve written so please enjoy! I started this specific fic as a hobby back in December, and I finished it a little over a month ago (I’ve just been kinda nervy to post hehe) so here goes nothing! likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated <3

MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. 

warnings!: SPOILERS FOR GOJO’S PAST ARC. THIS IS A PREGNANCY FIC! 18+. nsfw. f!reader. suguru and reader are over the age of 18. explicit sexual content. unprotected sex/oral (f!receiving). breeding kink. fingering. creampie. pregnancy. unplanned pregnancy. lactation kink. mentions of child abuse. cute domestic fluff hehe. 

wc: 14.5k

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September 2007 

4:27 PM (16:27)

“Wait…so what are we doing again?” you asked, riding atop one of Suguru’s many curses. You were straddling the pink alien-looking curse, legs dangling off either  side. One of Suguru’s large hands held your waist steady while the other controlled the motion of the cursed spirit. His chin was buried in the crook of your neck, so that he had easy access to press kisses into your skin. 

Suguru left a line of sweet pecks down your shoulder before answering. 

“This village in the sticks was reported to have kidnappings and abnormal deaths. Shouldn’t be anything unusual,” he said nonchalantly. 

You leaned back against him so that you could look up into his honey irises, pouting. His hand left your waist, moving comfortably behind him to support both of your weight. 

“Then why did you ask me to come along? Seems like you could handle it yourself, you’re a special grade. I’m only a semi grade-one,” you reasoned, reaching up to play with his stray bangs. He grabbed your hand before you could reach his neat, inky bun, pressing light kisses into your knuckles. 

“Well, if all goes well, maybe we can find a hotel or do something nice. Charge it to the school and say it took longer than we expected, so we get to stay somewhere overnight without waking Satoru,” Suguru replied, smirking a bit on the last line of his speech. 

“I like the way you think, my love,” you beamed, melting into his touch. 

… 

January 2007 

You and Suguru had been in a committed relationship for the past nine months, and friends for even longer.  You started secretly fucking around at the beginning of your third year at Jujutsu High. You had always been attracted to him, but given your tiny class size and the complexity of Jujutsu Society, you didn’t want to cause any drama or make things weird between you two. 

Well, life doesn’t always go to plan. 

Especially that one night at the beginning of your third year when you, Shoko, Satoru, and Suguru broke into Yaga’s liquor cabinet, stole two bottles of sake, and got a little handsy. With your judgment impaired, you might have let it slip that you thought Suguru was very attractive and often wondered how his sculpted body would feel beneath his Bontan pants and uniform shirt. The thought was reciprocated by the raven head. 

One thing led to another, and the next morning, you woke up in a tangled mess of inky black hair and bedsheets. Suguru just held you, keeping your body close to his, whispering sweet nothings into your ears. It was nice, you did not have to say anything to fill the comfortable silence that had fallen upon you two. 

Eventually, he placed a kiss on your forehead and started to pull his clothes on from the previous night. 

Last night. Was last night a mistake? 

Should you have let Suguru taken you out to dinner or something before he fucked you into tomorrow? 

“Wait…Sug hold on.

What does this mean? 

For us? Our friendship?” you asked in a panic before Suguru reached the door. 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to,” he replied in his calm, collected tone, looking at the floor with his back to you. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you sat up, still covered by the soft sheets, pulling your knees into your chest, slightly offended. 

“Just that we don’t have to make a big deal out of this if we don’t want to. We also don’t have to do this again if you don’t want to. I know this could complicate things if we keep at it,” he paced around to face you again, the distance still rather daunting.

“Okay.” 

“Cool.”

The comfortable silence from before slowly turned awkward. 

“Um…thanks,” you offer. 

“…for…what?” Suguru inquired. 

“Last night. It was…fun,” you flashed him an unsure smile. 

A deep rumble came from his chest as he chuckled, “Yeah, let’s see how much fun you have walking today. See ya in class,” before leaving the room.

“SUG-“ you called after him, blushing at the cheesy line as he left the room, disappearing back into the cocoon of sheets. 

…

March, 2007 

You tried to keep your distance from him. Being a child of the Kamo clan, you were probably destined to be forced into some relationship that benefitted Jujutsu society, and not your happiness. This was just one of the many things that you hated about Jujutsu Society. Therefore, Suguru was all that more enticing to you. 

You found yourself perched on Suguru’s desk the next week. Your legs were spread wide, held apart by his large hands to assure you didn’t squirm around too much and get away from him. Suguru was lapping at your folds like a man starved. He dragged his tongue up and down your slit, and worked his way up to your clit, giving it a little kiss and suck. 

“Ngh Suguru. More.” You moaned, bucking your hips up to his face. 

“That’s not how we ask,” he replied, pulling away. 

“Suguru. Please.”

“What happened to complete sentences?” Suguru pressed one of his large thumbs to your nub, holding pressure, but refrained from moving it. 

“Fuck YOU Suguru I-“ 

“That’s what I’m trying to do, doll. You’re just not behaving.” 

He started to swirl his thumb around gently. It wasn’t enough to make you cum, but the pleasure was still intense. 

“Suguru please, I need som-something inside. Fingers. Yours. Please.” You croaked out, your head going dizzy with pleasure. 

“Awww, what’s wrong? Can’t think straight?” He said, plunging his slickened digits, adorned with a few silver rings, right into your core. 

“At least you said please, so I guess I’ll let you cum this time,” Suguru voiced in that smooth, sultry voice of his. 

He started moving those two digits back and forth in a “come here” motion, not giving you a chance to adjust to their circumference. A lewd squelching noise filled the room as he continued his ministrations. “You’re being such a good girl for me, taking my rings and fingers so well. Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” 

You let out a loud moan, and Suguru immediately pushed his thumb in your mouth for you to suck on. That way, you wouldn’t draw attention to any unwelcome visitors who might be walking the halls of the school. 

“You don’t even have to answer with that pretty mouth, your body is answering for you. You’re so tight. Gods, you’re gorgeous.” he whispered into your ear. 

He put his mouth back on your clit to suck, and added a third finger. He kept thrusting it in and out, hitting that sweet spot that had you seeing stars, as if he had your g-spot memorized. 

If Sugru ended up drowning in your juices, he would die a happy man. He absolutely loved lapping up at your sweet pussy, the earthy scent intoxicating to him. 

Soon, you felt the familiar coil in the depths of your belly start to come undone, and your cunt fluttered around Suguru’s fingers, the stimulation becoming too much.

“Come apart f’me. I got you love. I got you. Cum f’me,” Suguru commanded in his pussy-drunk haze. 

You let go as your orgasm washed over you, relishing in the pure bliss as Suguru helped you through the aftershocks. When you came to, he captured your lips in a hungry kiss. You could still taste your essence on his tongue. 

The next night, you were folded over the same desk as he pounded into you with his fat length. The bathroom stalls. The pantry. Behind the bleachers at the field. You could not get enough of each other. 

You and Suguru both fell hard and fast for each other. His unwavering sense of morality, intelligence, and kindness towards others drew you even further into his grasp. The way he spoke, his scent of freshly done laundry, his loyalty to his friends; these were all things that you loved about Suguru Geto. He was one of a kind. 

As Jujutsu Sorcerers, you were well aware that your tomorrow was not guaranteed. Suguru made you feel alive, which, to you, was worth more than any amount of fame or glory that your clan could bestow upon you. He truly wanted to make the world a better place for you, and any future you might have together. On the third month of your official relationship, you confessed your love: 

“Suguruuuu,” you giggled as he kissed up your neck. 

You had been laying in Suguru’s bed, in the midst of a heated makeout session. Your back was pressed flat into the mattress, knees at an angle, and feet flat against the soft duvet. Suguru was positioned right on top of you, in between your knees. He held your face in both of his hands, and your arms clung to the back of his head, getting lost in the inky strands. 

“I love you.” He whispered, as if he was telling a secret. 

In lieu of an answer, you brought his head down into a deep, passionate kiss. Your tongues danced together for what seemed like forever and no time at all, until you broke the kiss and said, “I think I may love you more.” 

“Unfortunately, doll, that’s simply not true. I’d end the world for you.” 

You were hopelessly in love with Suguru Geto.    

…

May 2007 

“You have a list of baby names picked out? Dude you’ve been together for like a few months.” Shoko taunted, a cigarette tucked between her lips, clicking away on her silver flip phone. 

“Oh, come on Ieiri, I think every person has a baby name list.”

“I don’t.” Shoko deadpanned. 

“You’re a lesbian who has no desire for kids,” you shot back.

“Touché. I do have a cat name list, though, if that counts,” Shoko added.

“I think it does.” you replied. 

“Ugh, fineee, gimme the list,” said Shoko, already grabbing the journal out of your hand. After scanning through the list of names, Shoko looked up at you and burst into laughter.

“Ok, you cannot name your kid Shigure. Or Kyo. Or any character from Fruits Bask-“

“Yo, WHO’S having a kid” interrupted the lanky, white-haired person with blacked-out sunglasses and a mischievous smile. Suguru appeared next to Satoru, holding a basketball, running to kiss you hello. 

“NO ONE’S having a kid,” you replied. 

“Ok, wait I need to know, do either of you have baby name lists? I feel like every person has them.” 

Satoru sighed, and thought about the question for a second. Suguru sat on the ground and started rolling the basketball in the dirt. 

“I haven’t even thought about baby names. To be honest, kids are kinda hard to have when you’re a sorcerer. You have to go on missions and then come home and change diapers, no thanks. Like, what if it poops on you? Also, I kinda wanna spite the old geezers in my clan.” Satoru added.

“You raise an excellent point, Gojo. This is one of the reasons why I love being a lesbian. Less of a risk for accidents,” Shoko took a drag from her cigarette.

“I can’t be the ONLY person here who has a list,” you sighed. 

“Lemme see that-“ Satoru said as he grabbed your journal from Shoko’s grasp. 

“…These are just Fruits Basket and One Piece charact-” Satoru snickered. 

“Wait Satoru, have you read the new One Piece chapter yet? I heard it’s crazy.” Suguru cut in. 

“Oh, no not yet, I haven’t had a chance to get the new volume,” Satoru whined. 

“What are you doing right now? Wanna go pick up some coke from the vending machine, then get to that bookstore in Shinjuku and grab a copy?” Suguru explained with excitement. 

“Honestly, a coke sounds amazing right now. Either of you wanna come?” Satoru gestured to you and Shoko. 

“Nah, I think we’re gonna go steal some of Yaga’s booze,” Shoko informed. 

“Yeah, he’s on a mission for the next day or so. Might as well take advantage of it,” You said, a little defeated and disinterested. 

“…’kay see you guys later then.” Satoru said in a sing-songy voice. 

Suguru walked up to you, pressed a quick peck on your lips, and said, “I’ll be back. Love you.” 

But that wasn’t all.

Under his breath, so that no one else could hear, he whispered, “Don’t think this conversation is over yet, doll,” and walked away as if he hadn’t uttered anything. Your stomach was filled with butterflies and you felt your cheeks go hot as he walked away. 

… 

Later the same day, May, 2007

You were sitting on Suguru’s lap as he twiddled on his PS3 controller playing one of his games. Suguru was sitting on the floor, his legs criss-crossed while you leaned against his back, feeling his warmth though his clothing. You were sporting one of his large white t-shirts, wearing only your favorite pair of panties underneath. 

“Sug?” You question softly, turning around to face him. 

“Yeah, doll?” He replied not looking down from his game. 

“So…about that comment earlier. Why did you say the conversation wasn’t finished yet? And which one? About the One Piece chapter? Or the baby names? I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable asking that question, I was ju-“

Suguru paused his game and looked at you, a smirk on his face. 

“It did the opposite of making me uncomfortable, actually. It made me feel a little more normal, or as normal as we can be given our lifestyle. I have a baby name list too.” 

Your heart fluttered. Of course he did. 

“I saw the list over Satoru’s shoulder. And we actually had one name in common.”

“Which name?” 

“Riko.” He replied softly.

His answer made you happy and sad all at once. You wish you didn’t have that name on your list. Riko Amanai had meant so much to the both of you. She represented the freedom that you could have from Jujutsu Society, as well as everything that was broken and corrupt about it. Riko’s death is what radicalized the both of you. She set you both on a path to work towards a better world. 

For a moment, you thought about what your life would be with Suguru had you not been Jujutsu Sorcerers. You would probably get married as soon as you graduated, get a job somewhere. Buy a cozy house in the countryside. Make home cooked meals, have children, adopt some dogs. You would grow old together and not have to constantly worry about the fact that you could die a gruesome death in the morning. 

You were lying down on your side now, your back against Suguru’s chest. Suguru moved a hand under your shirt, to your stomach, slowly rubbing circles, drawing you out of your trance. 

“I love your tummy, it’s so cute” Suguru sighed into your ear. 

You giggled.

“What’s so funny about that, love?”

“I’m sorry that just sounded so funny in the moment.” 

“I don’t think it’s that funny, especially when my baby’s gonna be in there one day.”

He said it so nonchalantly and matter-of-factly that you thought you had misheard him. You blushed, hoping you didn’t mishear. 

“SUG-“ you turned around and gave a playful slap to his arm. 

After a pause of giggling from the both of you, Suguru just couldn’t let the topic get away from you. 

“Ya know, I think about it a lot,” he continued. 

“Think about what,” you questioned.

“Think about what our future would be like. A house that is actually full of love. And little feet running around.” 

“Tell me more,” you said against his lips. 

“Maybe we’d live in a really remote village away from everything Jujutsu related. We could get a little farm, raise some sheep, horses, chickens, crops. We could add to the world instead of just taking.” 

“Why do we have to wait for the future to do that? Money isn’t the issue here,” You answered, referring to the handsome compensation you receive for such a risky career path. 

“True, I could just fuck a baby into you right now.” 

“I was talking about the house, and you knew that.” You shot back, a laugh escaping your chest at an attempt to be serious. 

“That’s another thing I think about.” 

“What?” You were taunting him now. You wanted to see where this was going.

“You, your tummy all round with my baby. God, you look so good when you’re stuffed full f’me,” Suguru slurred. From the dim light of his paused video game, you could see that his pupils were blown with lust. He kissed you hard and messily, tongue intertwining with yours.

Suguru removed your (his) shirt and started to kiss down your body, landing at your breasts, hovering right over a nipple. 

“These would look so good with milk. So pretty and soft,” he purred, taking a nipple into his mouth. 

The warmth of his mouth felt so good against your pebbled nipples, you couldn’t help but let out a moan. He licked and sucked until you were a drooling, wet mess underneath him. 

“You like this, huh. Baby, I’ve barely touched you. And you’re already this worked up?” He taunted, moving to give attention to the neglected nipple. 

“What else?” you slurred, ignoring his question. He still hadn’t admitted it.

“Everyone would know who you belonged to. All because of me.” He continued, releasing the nipple from his mouth. 

His words sent shivers down your spine, and you felt your arousal start to pool uncomfortably in your underwear. You needed them off. 

“Suguru, what do you want?” you asked the obvious question, just wanting to hear him speak more on the topic. 

“I wanna stuff your pretty cunt full of cum ‘till you can’t take any more, doll,” he grumbled, grinding his impressive erection on your clothed cunt. 

“Wanna get you pregnant so bad,” he continued pressing feverish kisses down the length of your body. “You’ve been asking a lot of questions about what I want.” He made his way to your panties, “But, before I take these off, I need to know what you want.”

Your hole was clenching around nothing at his words, you were getting rather impatient. 

“Please touch me.” You whined. 

“Hmm, I have been touching you my love,” 

“Sugu- stop t-teasin-nghhh.” you moaned as one of his thick fingers started moving in a circular motion on your bud. Soon, one finger became two, and he moved them from your clit to your slick folds, swirling the juices around, occasionally ghosting your eager cunt. 

“Suguru gimme your dick,” you begged. 

“Baby, one, you can ask nicer than that, where are your manners? And two, I have to get you ready to take me first. Gotta make sure I can fit the most amount of cum in there as possible,” he let out a small moan on the last word. 

“Open your mouth, doll,” he commanded. 

You complied, opening your mouth as he stuck his two slickened fingers in, pushing them as far back as they could go. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a dark stain forming on his gray sweatpants. He must have been impossibly hard. 

Your moans and gasps vibrated against his digits, and when he thought you had been teased enough, he finally offered you the sweet relief of his fingers filling you. Definitely not as large as his cock, but they reached the parts of you that you could not with your own hands. Suguru started thrusting in and out, curling his fingers along the way, hitting your g-spot with brutal precision.

“Sug-nghhh, I’m gonna-” 

“Shhh baby, you can let go for me, I got you. So good f’me.” 

With the thumb of his hand, he lightly stroked your clit, and you felt the familiar heat bubbling in your core. After a few more thrusts, and praises from Suguru, you were cumming all over his fingers. He helped you through your orgasm, your head full of wool as you came down from your high. Suguru brought his drenched appendages to his mouth and sucked, cleaning your fluids from his fingers.

“If only curses tasted this good. I can’t get enough of you.”

In your post-orgasm clarity, you realized that your boyfriend was still clothed. That wouldn’t do. You sit up, rummaging through sticky sweats and underwear to pull his dick out. A long strand of precum dripped from his tip, breaking away as you pulled him out of his boxers. His penis would never fail to surprise you; he was of average length, but so thick, you could barely close your hand around him. You wrapped two hands around his cock as your mouth watered at the beautiful sight before you. But, just as you were about to taste him, two of his strong hands pushed you back against the bed, forcing you off of his dick. 

“What was that for? I wanna suck you off,” you pouted.

“Sorry, doll. We can’t waste any cum,” he said as his nose ghosted against yours. 

“But I just wanted to make sure, you never said it out loud. Do you actually want this? Can I actually get you pregnant? Don’t wanna pressure you if it was just a kink.” He looked into your eyes with concern, needing your verbal confirmation to continue. 

“Suguru. Put a baby in me.” 

You think you broke your boyfriend after saying that. He let out a grunt from deep within his chest and grabbed a pillow from the pile that fell off the bed in during your earlier activities. He placed the pillow underneath your lower back and whispered choruses of “I love you,” on your skin. Suguru’s fingertips traced over your skin, eventually grasping your legs, throwing them over his shoulders. 

“I don’t deserve you, doll.” He pressed a quick kiss to your nose. 

“This is called a mating press,” Suguru explained as he grabbed his cock and lined up with your twitching hole. “I did some research as to what position would get you pregnant the fastest, and I think this one has a good success rate.”  He sounded so methodical in his explanation, which was so in character for him. Of course your Suguru would do research into this. He would do anything for you to make you happy. And you would do the same for him. 

When he pushes the head in, you both gasp at the contact. He kept sliding in until his balls slapped against your ass and your pelvic bones met. There was such little resistance, and you let out a sob as he bottomed out. 

“You ok, baby? You’re taking me like such a-a, nghhh- good girl. Feels like heaven in your pussy. My pussy.” It was so attractive when he got possessive over you, your ovaries felt like they were about to burst in more ways than one. 

“Sugu- ngh- move-“ 

Instead of moving, he licked the inside of your upper thigh, dragging his tongue impossibly slow to tease you. 

“NGH- plea-ahhh please,” you could feel tears pricking in the corner of your eyes. He made it so easy for you to fall apart. 

“Good girl, look at you using your words,” he sounded wrecked, his voice gravely with arousal. And with that, he began moving. At first, his thrusts were slow and deep; you could feel every vein and ridge on his dick. His balls slapped against the fat of your ass, creating an embarrassingly loud clapping sound that bounced off of the walls. It felt delicious. 

You weren’t just having sex - he was making love to you. It was emotional and sensual. The tears you felt earlier spilled over on to your cheeks as Suguru picked up the pace, his cock pistoning in and out. He kissed your tears away as you muttered broken moans of both his name and explicits. 

Suguru’s grip was surely going to leave bruises in the morning. One hand was holding your body in place around your waist, while the other kept your leg over his shoulder. He let go of your leg for a moment as he grabbed another pillow that was somewhere in reach, and gently slid it under your hips so that he could reach you at a deeper angle. Your vision went blurry. He was impossibly deep, you thought you could feel him rearranging your intestines. 

Finally, his thrusts started getting sloppier. You knew Suguru was close. 

“Gonna fuck my baby into you,” he half moaned. “Fuck, love, I’m close. Want ya to let go first,” and with that, he moved his possessive, bruising touch to rub your clit. After a few rotations around your nub, you let go, your vision going white as you came hard, your cunt clamping down on his cock.

The vice grip of your pussy is what finally sent him over the edge, and Suguru began to fill you up with his thick load. 

“Thank you, baby, thank you,” Suguru chanted, like it was a prayer, and you were the goddess who was receiving his offering. You laid like that for a while, him still inside, your hips tilted up to keep his cum inside of you. He left a trail of kisses down your sweat-drenched neck as his cock softened in your walls. 

After about fifteen minutes, you felt Suguru starting to fill out again, his body gearing up for round two. 

And then three.

And then four. 

You lost count of how many times you had cum that night. Your tummy sported a small bump with the amount of Suguru’s seed trapped in your womb. You were so full that you couldn’t possibly take any more. And Suguru loved you like that. 

Of course, he loved you always, but this was different. He took one of his large hands and gently massaged your sore, slightly swollen belly, pressing wet kisses all around. 

“I hope our baby looks like you,” you whispered into the crown of his head. 

“I was just thinking the same thing. I hope our baby at least has your eyes. I get lost in them sometimes,” he responded. “Ya know, your eyes are probably my favorite part of you, besides your tummy. And your beautiful brain. And every other part of you.” 

“I love you so much, Suguru. I don’t think I can put it into words. You’re such a good man, so good to me. You’re gonna be the best dad one day,” you confessed.

“Hopefully, that day will be soon,” he smirked, “I’m gonna go get you water and a hot washcloth to clean you up. Want anything to eat?” 

You smiled back at him and shook your head, blowing a kiss to him before he left. 

You expected yourself to be more freaked out by his comment, “hopefully, that day will be soon,” but you couldn’t help but feel excited. Life as a Jujutsu Sorcerer was so unexpected, you never knew when a mission was going to be your last. You decided it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have a little mini Suguru running around, allowing the three of you to finally have the family that neither you nor Suguru ever did. 

… 

August 2007

It was a disgustingly hot day outside. You were so sweaty, you felt your clothes sticking to you, and the humidity felt as if you were walking through a sauna. 

Since it was so unbearably hot outside, you and Suguru decided it would be a nice day to go to a water park. Of course, that meant Satoru and Shoko had to tag along. 

You and Suguru were in charge of packing, as the other two would not have chosen enough food or towels for your journey. They would probably also forget things like sunscreen and umbrellas, opting to fill your beach bags with bottles of booze and sweets. You and Suguru were practically the parents of the friend group at this point; sometimes the other two would even refer to you as “mom and dad.” Suguru would give you a smirk any time this happened, reminding you of the conversation you had back in May. 

After you fought Satoru on the fact that he could not in fact take an entire box of ice cream mochi to the water park, you were set to leave on your adventure. The four of you and your bags all piled in the car of an assistant director. Excitement and easy conversation flowed through the vehicle, as all of you relished in the relief of the cool air conditioning. 

Shoko sat in the front, smoking a cigarette, choosing which CDs to play, while you sat in the back with Satoru and Suguru. Suguru, being the gentleman that he is, gave you the seat behind the driver’s side. You tried to resist, explaining that he and Satoru would have more leg room if you just sat in the middle, but Suguru insisted. 

The four of you finally arrived at the water park about an hour and a half later. 

Maybe this was a bad idea. 

As you walked through the wooden gates, the park was swarmed with families, teenagers, and college students. There were colorful slides entangled in each other at the center of the park, with a lazy river surrounding it. To the left, there was a wave pool with people attempting to surf, and to the right, there was another large pool with buckets of water that would dump on patrons randomly. The lounge chairs were spread throughout the park, and it seemed like the entirety of Japan had come to this one water park to beat the summer heat. 

“Ok guys let’s stay together and try to find some lounge chai-” 

“Shoko! I’m gonna beat you down those slides, ready?” Satoru screamed with glee, like a young child. 

“Hold on, lemme finish this,” Shoko replied, motioning to her cigarette. 

“NO! We. Are. Going. To. Sit. Down. Let’s just stay together, it’s a madhouse here,” You put your foot down. 

“If I wanted to be mothered, mother, I would have gone home for the summer,” Shoko rolled her eyes at you. You just ignored her, too bothered by the heat to even come up with a good comeback.

“I sent out a curse to go find us a spot - wait. Where’s Satoru?” Suguru chimed in.

“Let’s be logical about this. Where is the nearest ice cream stand?” You asked. 

“Ha, there he is,” Shoko nodded her head towards the nearest ice cream stand. In the line of children, there was one with white hair who was almost as tall as the stand itself. Bingo. 

You marched over to the line, and went to tug Satoru by his ear back to the group. Alas, his Infinity was on, and you could not touch him. 

“Oof, I would not wanna be him right now, that one has a temper,” Shoko joked, as she put her cigarette out over the trash can next to them, watching you and Satoru argue. In that moment, Suguru couldn’t help but stare at you, taking in how beautiful you looked against the summer sun. You were glowing, radiant, even as you berated his best friend. 

“I haven’t seen you look at someone the way you look at her.” Shoko broke Suguru’s thoughts, pulling him out of his trance. 

“Yeah.” Suguru responded, smiling. 

“Wow, you didn’t even try to deny it,” Shoko smirked back. “OOooo someone’s in looovee,” Shoko teased. 

“I am. And I’m so lucky. I love her more than anything in the world,” Suguru said with a content sigh. 

“Ok, now you’re just gonna make me vomit, that’s so sappy,” Shoko stuck out her tongue, making a fake gagging sound. 

“It’s true,” Suguru responded, still in his trance.

“What if I can treat her better than you,” Shoko teased. 

“Maybe,” he said, the slightest flicker of insecurity in his eyes. “I don’t think I deserve her sometimes. She’s not as tainted by curses and cursed energy as I am. She’s not the one who absorbs curses day after day.” He looked tired. Shoko noticed the bags under his eyes, but just as she was about to say something, you came running with Satoru’s wrist in your hand, pulling him with an ice cream cone in his hand. The ice cream was beginning to drip everywhere.

“I can’t believe they only had vanilla. What a ripoff,” Satoru sighed, annoyed. 

“You dumbass, you didn’t even get napkins!? How am I supposed to call you a functioning adult, you’re literally about to turn 19, and you didn’t even get napkins?!” You berated him again.

“Oh, looks like the curse found a place for us to sit. It’s keeping the area clear so non-sorcerers aren’t determined to sit there,” Suguru interrupted. 

You all walked towards a little spot in the shade with three lounge chairs and a table. You figured you would just share your lounge chair with Suguru and sit in his lap. Or he could use your lap as a pillow and you could braid his hair. Either worked. 

Just as you were setting out your towels on the chairs, you heard a PLOP and crying following after. A little kid had slipped and fallen down on the concrete. He used his hands to break the fall, and the skin of his palms were broken a little bit, blood splintering through the cracks. He started hysterically crying.

“Oh no, sweetie! Are you okay? Where is your grown up?” you rushed over to the kid. 

“I think I packed a first aid kit in the bag, let me get it,” Suguru added.

Of course he did, that man was prepared for the end of the world.

Suguru took an antiseptic wipe from the kit, and bent down so that he was at eye level with the kid. 

“This is probably going to sting, but it will feel better I promise. Your bathing suit is dope by the way, I love the colors,” Suguru cooed at the kid, trying to calm him down. 

“You remind me a lot of my little brother, his name is Noritoshi. He’s really brave. Are you brave like him?” you added. 

The child stopped his hysterics and let Suguru clean him up, listening to both of your kind words. He nodded his little head of pink hair at your question and pointed towards an elderly man slowly, but frantically making his way over to the kid.

“Yuji! What happened?” the old man asked.

“I falled and getted a boo-boo,” the kid, called Yuji, sniffled. 

“He slipped and hurt his hand, we have some antiseptic disinfectant and bandaids though, so we fixed him right up,” you told the man as he got closer.

“He was really brave,” Suguru added, smiling down at Yuji. 

“Thank you, so much. You two are very kind,” the man said in a monotone voice. Though his voice showed no emotion, his eyes did. His eyes looked tired, but definitely grateful to the kindness of you and Suguru. 

“Feel better, dude!” Suguru yelled to Yuji as his grandfather led him away. 

After about an hour of tanning on the lounges with Shoko, you looked to see where the boys went. It wasn’t very hard to spot the two best friends, as they were acting like children, making big waves in the lazy river. On Suguru’s shoulders, you noticed something: the kid with the pink hair from earlier. 

Suguru and Satoru were having some sort of chicken fight with him, all three of them laughing and having the time of their lives. 

“You are hopeless,” Shoko rolled her eyes, a new cigarette in between her lips. 

“What do you mean?” You replied. 

“Don’t play dumb, I know what you’re thinking,” she smirked back.

…

September 2007 

“Suguru, you look like you’ve lost weight, are you okay?” Satoru asked, as he twirled a pencil in midair with his Infinity technique. 

“Just tired,” Suguru responded. 

Over the past few weeks, Suguru had developed dark circles and bags under his eyes. He looked pale, and was often exhausted. Not too exhausted for you though, apparently. 

It seemed the two of you spent more and more time together holed up in one of your rooms when you weren’t on missions. It was just so nice in your own little world, away from everything. You didn’t have to care about who lived and who died. You only had to focus on each other. 

Satoru attempted to carry on the conversation. 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” 

“You probably won’t see me for a while again.” 

“Yo, what’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I need to get out of here. Both of us do. We’re not fit for Jujutsu Society.” Suguru said, referring to the two of you. 

“Ha, ha, so funny.” Satoru sarcastically added. 

“It’s not a joke.” 

“What do you mean? Dude, you’re a special grade, you seriously think they’re gonna let you quit?” 

It was true. The elders wouldn’t just let Suguru run away and walk free. If he was not with Jujutsu society, he was probably against it. And letting a special grade sorcerer and his grade one partner roam free would pose a threat to the stability of the elder’s iron grip on the status quo of Jujutsu society. 

He’d have to get the elders to denounce and force you out. 

So, here you were, flying with the man who was your boyfriend, your one and only, on the back of a curse, headed out for a mission, and hopefully, some much needed seclusion with Suguru. 

… 

7:03 PM (19:03)

You and Suguru decided to split up for the mission. It had been reported that there was a sighting of two possible curse users and a separate cursed spirit. Thus, Suguru wanted to deal with the curse users, and you to deal with the curse itself. 

You exorcized the curse with ease, using piercing blood to slice the monster in half. There were a few other lower level curses, which you could have eliminated with your eyes closed. It seemed too easy. If Suguru was sent on this mission, there had to be something else, another factor. After a few minutes of patrolling for any other cursed energy residue, you decided to find your way back to Suguru. 

You found him standing outside of a small house on the outskirts of the village. He seemed out of it; he was staring right at the door, but did not enter. As you approached, you saw the strong cursed energy residue leading from the door. 

“Sug, I exorcized those curses. I know you hate the taste of swallowing them, I didn’t want to make you do that if you didn’t have to.” If Suguru heard you, he showed no acknowledgement. 

“Suguru?” You pinched the sleeve of his white collared shirt.

“Dude? Did you hear me?” You squeezed his thick bicep, pushing your manicured nails into his skin, effectively bringing him back from whatever plane of reality he was on. 

“The locals in the village told me this is the home of two little girls, twins. Their descriptions match the ones for the curse users. So…” He insinuated, leaving the rest for you to figure out. His amber eyes were dark and cold. 

“Oh.” You said. You and Suguru had both been through a lot and hated Jujutsu Society. You and Suguru had your incident with Amanai a little over a year earlier, and your uppity clan kept you from your mother, a heartbreaking decision by the family head in order to give you the best possible chance of becoming the leader of the clan. A position which you despised.

Over the past few months, in the afterglow of sex, you two would lay there, embraced in each other's arms, dreaming of a world without curses, without clans, without people to produce those curses. “Monkeys,” as Suguru referred to non-sorcerers, from which curses were created. In your and Suguru’s fantasy world, you wouldn’t even have a reason to use curse techniques. You could get married, have children, live a peaceful life without fear of a curse coming to take that happiness away.

The bottom line is you knew Jujutsu Society was unfair, but never would you think you would be asked to harm a child. What was wrong with these people? You thought of your little brother, Norotoshi, who was also six years old. He was supposed to be your “competition” for the title of family head, but you never really wanted to fight him. He was just your sweet little brother. 

How could you harm someone that is the same age as your little brother? 

A wave of nausea ran through your body as the reality of the situation dawned upon you. Suguru kneeled down on the floor with you, rubbing your back and holding your hair back as you vomited. 

“Shhh, I got you.” He wrapped you in an awkward embrace on the floor, and pressed a kiss to your sweat-sheened forehead. “It’s going to be okay. I have a plan.” Suguru’s entire demeanor changed in an instant. He smiled, but there was no emotion behind his eyes, and his voice sounded like it was coated in honey. 

His behavior was strange, but helped you to feel more at ease. Suguru gave you some hope to cling on to. 

… 

8:46 PM (20:46) 

You were both sitting on the stairs leading up to the front of the house. You were leaning on Suguru as he brushed a hand over your hair, occasionally placing a kiss on the top of your head. You had finally finished sobbing into Suguru’s chest after an hour, the teardrops staining through his white collared shirt. You felt so many emotions. Anger at the broken system. Hatred, for the Jujutsu Society elders. Confusion, for what would happen once you committed to your plan. Grief, for the people in your life that you would lose. Betrayal, from the society that was supposed to protect people. Suguru sat with you and validated your feelings, making you feel like you and your emotions were the only things in this world that matter. 

The plan was simple. You were both going to defect. 

Both you and Suguru were sick and tired of the way the world functioned. You were sick of watching comrades, comrades who were teenagers, who were children, die. 

During one of your late night conversations, Suguru once said, 

“If being a Jujutsu Sorcerer is like running a marathon…

What if what’s at the end of that road…

Is a mountain of our fellow sorcerers’ dead corpses.”

In that moment, Suguru had played it off as some dark joke, but part of you knew that he was right. 

As for the plan, you two were to wait until some of the elders of the village led you into the small house, as they apparently kept multiple locks on it to keep the supposed dangerous young girls at bay. Then, you were going to take the young sorcerers on the back of one of Suguru’s curses and run to Kyoto and find somewhere to stay for the night. Suguru said he would “take care of the rest.” You trusted him with your whole being, even if that meant him ending the lives of a few non-sorcerers. It would serve them right for causing the very existence of curses. 

…

9:01 PM (21:01)

The two elders from the village arrived shortly after. You took Suguru’s hand and shared a reassuring glance, his thumb rubbing gently over your hand as if to say, it’s going to be okay. Shaking with exhaustion, anxiety, and some of the nausea from earlier,  you slowly made your way up the stairs as the elders parted the shoji doors. The building seemed to be one long room with some sort of wooden cage at the end, almost like the house was made to hold animals at some point. 

The building was dimly lit, but you could see the outline of two small figures huddled together in the center of the wooden cage. Your stomach turned once again, and you tightly squeezed Suguru’s hand.

“What is this?” Suguru firmly questioned, his free hand going up to brush his bangs away. 

The two of you stepped closer to the makeshift prison, and the two small figures were shaking. As you made your way towards the children, they had obviously been beaten. They were covered in dry blood, scratches and bruises. They both had one black eye. 

How could these children, these SIX year olds, legally be kept like this? THESE were the scary curse users that were terrorizing this village? It was disgusting. 

“My grandchild was on the verge of death because of these two,” spit the woman who led you in.

“These two use strange powers and often attack the villagers.” defended the other man in your presence.

Suguru dropped your hand and squatted down to be at eye level with the girls, pinching his nose bridge between his pointer finger and thumb. 

“So you mean to tell me that you monkeys think that these little girls, these children are responsible for the incidents that have been occuring, is that correct?” Suguru grumbled, his voice icy and dangerous. 

“I already dealt with the cause of the incidents, they’re innocent children, what is wrong with you people,” you cried. You were full of rage, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 

One of the young girls, clutching a well-loved stuffed animal, bravely spoke up and declared, “We didn’t mean to hurt anyone on purpose, they were trying to-”

“SHUT UP YOU MONSTERS!” The elder woman screamed. 

“Your parents were the same. I knew we should have killed you when you were born,” the man added. 

“Exactly, twins are bad luck. We should have known better,” the elder woman snorted. 

Suguru looked down at the girls and whispered something that would not have been obvious to someone who did not know him as well as you did, “It’ll be okay.”

He started drawing a curse from his arsenal of cursed spirits, and gave you a nod. The signal to go ahead with the plan. 

That same silky smooth, almost frighteningly nice, voice that Suguru only used when he was especially angry. 

“Let’s step outside for a second, shall we?” Suguru tutted, producing the same pink cursed spirit you flew on to get to the village. He walked out the door with the two older adults and shot you a glance. 

I’d end the world for you. 

It was the same expression he bore when you confessed your love for each other, all of those months ago. 

The girls immediately stood up when they sighted the curse. They were terrified, understandably so. You moved towards the thick metal lock of the wooden cage and knelt down.

“Hey girls, I’m not going to hurt you, I’m here to help. You’re safe. I know it must seem so scary right now, but me and the other man you saw me with are going to get you out of here.”

You told them your name, and assured them that you were like them. Using your piercing blood to cut through the thick lock, you explained to them about your technique and talked to them about your little brother to keep them (and yourself) calm. 

As soon as the lock broke, the girls ran to you and hugged you tightly. They were shaking, crying, and clinging to your body. A series of thank you’s flooded from their mouths, and you kissed the top of their heads, attempting to dry their tears away. 

“The pink curse over here is going to take us to safety. Suguru, that man who’s talking to them, is also a sorcerer, and he’ll meet us wherever we get to.” you explained. 

You sat the girls on the curse side by side, and then climbed in back of them to make sure they did not fall. Using Supernova, you blasted a hole through the roof, and the cursed spirit started to levitate off of the ground. Quickly, you gained altitude and left the village behind. You covered the girls eyes as you looked back, just to see what was happening. The entrance to the house was ablaze and you could make out Suguru’s cursed spirits crawling throughout the village. 

Shit. Well, there wasn’t any turning back now. 

… 

The Next Morning

Overnight, you had flown the girls to a small hostel on the outskirts of Osaka. You purchased a small, private room for the three of you to stay in. 

As the sky turned from a deep purple to a ombré of orange and blue, nausea from the previous evening returned in full force. You held yourself over the toilet as you threw up what felt like your entire gut. You stayed like that until you heard four small feet walk into the bathroom behind you. 

With the light properly shining on them, you got to see how truly filthy they were. The girl, who called herself Mimiko, had short brown hair that was knotted, matted, and crinkled with dry blood. Her sister, Nanako, was not faring much better. Her blonde curls were also matted, and there was crusted blood left on her forehead. They both were covered from head to toe in bruises, had dark circles around their eyes, and seemed to be alarmingly skinny. 

“Um… are you okay?” Nanako asked. You took a deep breath, happy to focus on something other than your churning stomach for a moment. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I think it’s just nerves.” You answered. 

“Let’s worry about you two, I’ll run you a bath, then we can go to the 7/11 across the way and pick up some food. Sound good?” You declared. 

Mimiko’s stomach rumbled. “I think your belly answered for you, Mimiko,” you chuckled softly. 

… 

While the girls bathed, you went down to the Lost and Found of the hostel and grabbed a few items that looked like they would fit the twins: some hoodies, leggings, and a skirt. You also fixed yourself up, washing the vomit out of your mouth and splashing your face with hot water from the sink. 

Once the girls looked decent enough to go outside without raising suspicion, the three of you ventured out to the 7/11 across the street. 

The smell of food was a welcome scent as you walked up and down the rows of food, snacks, and other items. You grabbed whatever you thought a few six year olds would like, and on your way to the cashier, something caught your eye. A row of 100 yen pregnancy tests and other feminine care products. Whether it be a metaphorical gut feeling or the actual nausea that had persisted for the last few days, something told you to purchase a stick to pee on, just in case.You snuck the test into the pile of items you and the girls were purchasing. 

When the three of you got to the hostel, the girls scarfed their food down, and you tried to take little nibbles and sips of water. You put the twins down for a nap. 

You tried your best not to think about Suguru. You didn’t know what to think of him anymore. The man you spoke to the previous night could not have been your boyfriend. The Suguru you knew would never kill without a point. He would never just murder an entire village of people. 

You hoped and prayed that you were wrong. That he didn’t actually harm anyone and just showed off his curses to teach the people of the village a lesson.

Wait.

What if he was killed? 

It was all so confusing. You loved Suguru. He’s the one person who seemed to have love for you, besides your younger brother. 

Noritoshi. A pang of guilt wracked through your frame, heightening the gurgling of your stomach. 

If he murdered those non-sorcerers…you would have been deemed an accomplice. 

 So…

What would he think? 

Your baby brother?

Would he be okay? 

He’s a boy with an inherited technique in the Kamo clan. But would people look out for him? Would they keep him from your mother as well? 

In your spiral of thoughts, you noticed the 7/11 bag on the counter and remembered the supplies you bought earlier that day. You grabbed it as quietly as possible, as to not wake the girls, and stepped into the bathroom, clutching the goods inside. Your hands were shaking from lack of food over the past day and a half, but as carefully as you could, you retrieved the pregnancy test from the bag. 

The box was small, but felt so heavy in your hand. 

Why not? It probably won’t be positive, you told yourself. 

Why do I have to convince myself it won’t be positive, you thought. 

You know what, it will get my brain off of Noritoshi and Suguru for a bit, you reasoned, pulling apart the tucked in top of the box. 

After you fully unwrapped it, you read the directions, and followed suit. You put the test in the cup on the sink of the bathroom, and walked out to see the clock in the room. You waited five minutes until the results developed. 

Wait…this was probably a bad idea.

What were you thinking? 

This was so stupid why would you go and do this in the first place? 

You needed to get some air, your chest felt tight. You felt the nausea creeping back again. 

Suguru, where are you? 

You grabbed a room key off of the counter and slowly walked out into the hallway, desperately trying to keep yourself from waking the girls. One of the first things that caught your eye in the hallway was a vending machine. 

Maybe some soda would help settle your stomach? 

You walked over to the machine and plucked a few coins from your pocket, listening to them clink through the slot. You selected a Ginger Ale and Coke, reasoning that if you didn’t drink it, Suguru would when he got back.

If he got back. 

No. You can’t think like that. 

You took as long as you could getting back to the room, stepping on every other square of the carpeted floors, trying to ground yourself back to reality somehow. You arrived at the door a few minutes later and opened the door. 

The windows in your room were wide open, allowing a little breeze to blow the curtains. You dropped both bottles of soda. 

You had locked the windows before leaving the room. You made sure of it. 

You panicked, running for the girls to make sure they were okay. Alas, they were sleeping soundly, no new scratches or blood on them. 

You turned your attention to the bathroom, where the door was closed and you heard some rustling. 

Slowly making your way towards the door, you lined up your piercing blood technique, in case you were about to be attacked. 

“Baby, is that you?” you heard from the other side of the door. 

“Suguru.” You didn’t know if you should be more frightened or relieved. 

Part of you wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and kiss the scratches and dried blood away from him. Other than that, he looked relatively unharmed. His usual neat bun was not apparent on the top of his head, instead he let his hair hang loose, his bangs tied up in a messy half-up-half-down. He was dressed in all black, a dark oversized crew neck and baggy black sweats. As insinuated by the dark bags under his eyes, he didn’t look like he had eaten or slept in the past day or two. 

“Whose blood is that? Yours? Or someone else’s.” 

“That’s one way to say hello.”

“Answer.” 

“Doll, what’s wrong?”

“Suguru, are you okay?”

“My love, I took care of everything. We’ll be safe for the next few days, alright. We just have to lay low for a little while.” 

“Suguru, answer me.” 

“Shhh, everything is okay, doll. Your body's working overtime right now, and the pregnancy hormones can’t be helping.”

What? 

You stared at him. No way. 

“That test is your’s, right?” he questioned, his face filled with concern. “It’s positive.” 

You stared at him, then at the test. It was. 

“I- I’m gonna be a dad,” Suguru’s face cracked into a sincere smile. 

He picked you up and spun you around, planting kisses all over your head and face. 

“And you’re gonna be a mom! To my baby. Our baby. You’re gonna be the best mommy, you're so good with kids.” 

You stayed silent; you were still processing everything that just happened. 

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he cradled your face gently in his hands. 

You stood frozen, thinking of words to say, but they never made it out of your mouth. Your vision went blurry with water, and the churning feeling you had been trying too hard to suppress returned to your stomach. You gagged, running over to the toilet. 

As you held yourself over the bowl, your body felt like it was trying to expel all of your organs out through your mouth. Suguru leapt to your side and held your hair back as you threw up, rubbing soothing circles into your back. 

“Shhh, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out, this is just one of the best things that’s ever happened.” Suguru cooed. 

You took a deep breath and wiped any stray vomit from your lips with the back of your hand. 

As you hurled your guts out, you felt his large, warm hand, rubbing circles on the small of your back. The other of his hands went to hold your hair out of your face. 

You stayed like that for about an hour, just sitting there, pondering your impending motherhood. 

Mother. 

You were going to be a mother. 

It simultaneously freaked you out and surprised you. Suguru, the person you loved most in this world, actually got you pregnant. Of course he did. He always stuck to his word.

When that man was committed to something, he was going to have it. He was possessive, territorial even. That made him all the more dangerous, but it wasn’t him you were afraid of or for. You were afraid for the rest of the world. 

I’d end the world for you. 

His promise echoed in the back of your mind. 

“Sweetheart, it is going to be okay. I think I may have gotten too overexcited and freaked you out. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to, I’m here for whatever you need. But, thank you. Thank you for this precious gift.” 

It was a gift that forever linked the two of you together. 

… 

September 2007

You found her waiting on a bench in the center of Shinjuku, trying to find something in her pockets, probably a lighter for her cigarette. 

“Hey, need a light?” Suguru asked, offering out a lighter. 

“Hi,” you waved shyly. 

“If it isn’t the criminals, trolling girls who smoke?” Shoko replied

“Just testing our luck I guess, '' Suguru joked. 

“Mmhmm, well, I’ll go ahead and ask. Any chance the charges are fake?” 

“No, unfortunately not

“Then I’ll ask another question, why?” 

“To create a world of only Jujutsu Sorcerers,” 

“We don’t want anymore of our comrades to die,” you doubled down on Suguru’s point. 

“Ha, that doesn’t make sense, but whatever,” Shoko said, picking up her phone and dialing a number. Someone on the other line answered. 

“Hey, Gojo? 

Yeah, found ‘em. 

Shinjuku. 

No way, I don’t wanna get killed.” She said before quickly hanging up.

“Do you have the thing we talked about?” Suguru asked before walking towards the area his best friend was said to be.

“Yes, I’ve got her,” Shoko looked into his eyes, 

“Okay, I love you,” Suguru said, placing a kiss on your forehead and walking off. 

Shoko put her cigarette out. 

“Shoko I’m okay, just, um, okay how do I put this…” 

“Dude, spit it out, you're scaring me.” 

“I’m pregnant.” you blurted out. 

“Shit.” the mousy brunette replied. 

 “No, it’s okay, really, I’m happy, we’re happy, just…scared - ” 

“Did you not use protection? You of all people? The mom friend? Well, now, I guess literal mom friend,” Shoko put her hands in her hair, scrunching it out of stress, “And you’re a fugitive! Both you and Geto have been sentenced to death by the elders. Jesus Christ Y/N, how the fuck are you going to raise a child as a fucking criminal.” 

“I’m sorry Shoko, I-I couldn’t,” your last word was muffled by the huge lump in your throat. You knew Shoko of all people would rip you a new one, but you didn’t expect it to hurt this much. Tears clouded your vision, and you were sobbing so violently, that you started to choke on the snot and water running down your face. People were staring. 

“Woah, dude. Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here now,” Shoko reached down to wipe some of the snot off of your face with the sleeve of her uniform. “Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up, I have some supplies that I brought in my bag.” 

Shoko grabbed your hand and led you into the nearby metro station. You rushed past the crowds of people, until you made your way into the gate. Shoko kept leading you further underground until you reached a room that was sectioned off for mothers and infants. 

“Get inside, we shouldn’t be bothered in here for a while,” Shoko stated, her tone gentle. You walked in, and she locked the door behind you. 

The room was small, but cozy. There was an infant changing table to the right, and to the left, there was a small blue couch with a table next to it. There were a few blankets packaged in sanitary wrappers laying on the side of the couch, and the room was decorated with pastel flowers all around. You felt completely safe for the first time in a while. 

“Sit,” Shoko commanded. You complied and took a seat on the couch. 

“I got one of those portable ultrasound things from the infirmary. I don’t know why we have these things but, hey, it’s coming in handy.” 

“How did you know to bring an ultrasound kit with you?” you asked suspiciously. 

“Oh, Geto told me to bring one. So, I kind of already figured you were pregnant, or you had some kind of internal bleeding. But with the way he was being so secretive, I figured the former.” Shoko replied, fiddling with the machine. It looked like a tiny foldable computer, the probe attached to a wire that fed into the screen. 

She KNEW???

“If you knew, then why the fuck did you make me say it out loud?” you demanded. 

“Because I needed to be sure this wasn’t a trick or something to kill me,” she shot back, “If ya didn’t know, your boyfriend -” 

“Fiancé -” 

“Fiancé, whatever, killed an entire village of people.” 

“I know, but he did what he had to do. We’re trying to make the world a better place, a place without curses, so you don’t have to keep seeing people die.” You refuted. 

“I’m not talking to you about this right now, I’m here to make sure you and the fetus inside of you are okay. You chose your path, and I chose mine. I’m not trying to change your mind, what’s done is done. I don’t support what you two did, but you’re still my best friend. I’m here for you,” Shoko finished and scooched on the couch to give you a hug. You were crying again, fat tears streaming down your cheeks. 

After five minutes, you two finally parted, and Shoko reached into her bag to produce some supplies. She pulled out sanitizer, a bottle of gel, a pair of gloves, and a little blue cloth. Shoko sanitized her hands, and gave some to you as well. She then put the pair of gloves on and asked you to pull up your shirt to reveal your abdomen. Finally, she tucked the blue cloth into your pants, so that the gel would not get on it. 

“This might feel cold. I also don’t really know if I’m doing this 100% right, so, you should probably find someone with a medical degree and not just reverse curse technique to look at you,” Shoko added, the usual banter reappearing between you two. 

She squeezed some of the cold jelly-like substance on your abdomen. You winced at the uncomfortable feeling. Shoko took the end of the probe and started gently pushing it around on your stomach. After about a minute, something appeared on the little screen. 

Woah. 

That’s your kid. Your and Suguru’s baby. You started crying again. 

You loved them already, and only wished Suguru could have been here to see this. 

“Yeah, there’s a whole-ass kid in there,” Shoko confirmed.

“As opposed to a half-ass kid?” You joked. Shoko laughed. 

Next, Shoko reached into her bag, producing a thick textbook. She turned to a page that was marked by brightly-colored post-it notes. 

“Okay, based on this development textbook, you’re probably about 9 to 10 weeks along. Can you use your technique and give me a blood sample fast?” 

9 to 10 weeks. 

That’s a lot farther along than you thought. 

You took a deep breath. “Okay,” and slowly produced a handful of blood from your palm, dropping it with a PLOP into the test tube Shoko held out for you. 

“I’ll run a test on this once I get back to the infirmary at school, I just wanna check your hGC levels to make sure they’re good. But in the meantime, start taking these,” she produced yet another item from her bag. “They’re prenatal vitamins. Also, I know Geto has to have some connections somewhere with doctors. Have him find one for you. I can check on you once in a while, but not all the time or it will get suspicious. I love you, but I’m also an eighteen-year-old who doesn’t have a medical degree yet. I’ll leave first with Satoru to make sure there aren’t any sorcerers around so that you and Geto can escape. Stay safe and healthy, please,” 

“Safe and healthy, coming from the chainsmoker?” You joked. 

Shoko rolled her eyes as she gave you a final hug, exiting the room, leaving you alone with the bag of medical supplies and textbook. 

… 

Mid January, 2008 

As the months passed, you did not think it possible, yet you fell deeper in love with Suguru. He doted on you and the twins constantly, spoiling you with gifts, having his followers help construct a lavish living space for you in the back of the monastery. Mimiko and Nanako shared a large room, their western-style four poster beds were adorned with silks and all of the stuffed animals they could desire. They had large walk-in closets full of dress-up gowns and expensive designer brands.

“Only the best for my girls,” Suguru would say. 

As for you, he had a beautiful master suite built, the double walk-in closet filled with comfortable, yet elegant, maternity clothing and a California king bed dwarfing the rest of the room. The walls were painted white with navy and gold accents throughout the room. 

When he was not tending to his cult, Suguru also kept you close to him as much as possible. Sometimes, he would even have you sit with him as you both tended to his followers throughout the day, him consuming their curses and you collecting their money. 

Though he saw you as an equal, he was still overly protective and territorial of you now that you were carrying his child. He would sit you down on his lap in front of your followers, his hands caressing your now-evident baby bump, proclaiming to both you and the people in the cult that you were a goddess among mere mortals. When the monastery was empty, sometimes he would just sit and hold you, breathing in your scent. You would sit like that for an hour sometimes, him feeling the baby kick against his large palms, trailing kisses up and down your nape. You would curl yourself up as much as you could to put your ear to his chest, his heartbeat drumming with excitement.  

When you weren’t helping Suguru, you were with the twins. Playing with them, going on walks, teaching them little things about the world that they missed while living in that cursed village. They were really excited to have a new sibling and talked about all of the clothes they would dress the new baby in. You had to remind them, of course, that the baby was not a doll. They also threw out name suggestions, but you had to tell them that unfortunately, “Princess,” and “Hello Kitty,” were not appropriate names to call their soon to be baby sibling. 

At the end of your long days tending to the needs of non-sorcerers that were actually useful to your cause, Suguru would have you both change out of your robes and start to cook dinner while you played with the girls. True, he could have hired someone to cook for your little family, but he wanted to take it upon himself to make sure that you were getting all of the nutrients and rest you and the twins possibly could. 

You somehow succeeded in carving out a nice life for yourself under the harshest of circumstances. Sure, it wasn’t the utopia you and Suguru had always imagined all of those nights back at Jujutsu High, but you had a little family of your own and were working towards a better, safer world. 

… 

After he finished tucking the girls into bed one night, you curled up with Suguru on the couch, your head tucked against his chest, and knees in between his hips, using him as a body pillow. One of his hands was around you and the other was used to cradle his head on the arm of the couch as you both laid there. 

None of your pre-maternity pants fit you anymore, so you threw on a pair of Suguru’s gray sweats and a white t-shirt. You practically lived in his clothes at this point. 

He started rubbing small, gentle circles on your swollen belly, seemingly in awe of your changing body. If you ever got insecure about your stretch marks, or how much weight you gained, he would make you stand in front of the mirror in your shared chambers, kissing every inch of your body. In the shower, he would take the time to wash your hair and help you shave. He wanted to let you know that you weren’t alone. Suguru was right there the whole time. 

You felt a fluttering in your stomach where he was rubbing your belly, and Suguru gasped, breaking the serene silence. 

“Hi, baby,” he whispered to your bump. Joy flashed through his tired eyes as his lips curved into a dopey smile. Then, he leaned up to press sweet, wet kisses into your neck. 

“The most beautiful woman in the world. How did I get so lucky?” Suguru cooed. 

“You’re stunning,” he continued, pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss. 

Since falling pregnant, you were sensitive to the slightest touch. Your fiancé was sensitive to the slightest glance from you. Your sexual appetites had grown increasingly insatiable. 

From his words and kisses, you could feel yourself drenching your underwear. As Suguru’s tongue continued to slither into your mouth, you absentmindedly started grinding against his muscled thigh, the friction feeling delicious on your clit. 

“Ngh- Sugu- p-please touch me. No teasing. Need you,” you moaned. 

“Do you need my fingers? I bet I can take you right now from how soaked you are,” he purred. 

“Don’t care. Want something inside,” you whined. 

“Lemme check you first. Don’t wanna hurt you.” And with that, he felt your soaked, clothed cunt through your pants and underwear. You were so wet, that a dark, sticky patch was starting to form on your sweatpants. You nearly ripped the pants off of you in the midst of your carnal need to have some part of him, any part of him, filling you. 

Suguru got right to work, stripping you of the layers concealing you from him. After a few circles on your clit, he sunk his middle finger into your cunt. There was no resistance; he was able to sink his finger all the way down to his knuckle. So, he added a second finger, which you took just as easily. 

You felt relieved to finally have something for your fluttering hole to suck on, but you needed more. You needed to be stuffed to the brim, completely full of him. 

“Suguru I need you inside,” you gasped, your cunt continuing to clench on his thick fingers. 

“Whatever you want, my love,” he replied, slipping his fingers out. You almost cried at the loss of contact, but you knew you were about to be rewarded tenfold. Suguru pushed his sticky fingers into your mouth as he rearranged the two of you. You licked his fingers clean, and he let out an unrestrained moan at the way you deepthroated his digits. 

Suguru sat you up, and scooted himself against the back of the sofa. He took his length out from his underwear, letting it smack his stomach, the tip weeping precum. Suguru removed his fingers from your mouth and used the remaining spit to cover his cock; a makeshift lube for the two of you. While he stroked himself, you climbed up on his lap and attacked his mouth with fiery, desperate kisses. 

He helped you remove your top, and then shed his remaining clothing articles. When he took your top off, you could tell that Suguru’s thoughts about the day had gone out the window. Suguru always had a fascination with your tits, now even more so that your tits had grown at least 2 cup sizes since pregnancy. He took one of your pert nipples into his mouth, sucking softly and grinding up into your wet heat, letting a grunt rumble through his chest.  

“Love, please,” you cried out, tears threatening to spill down your face.

With your pleading, he helped you to climb on top of him and lined his cock up with your greedy cunt. You slowly sunk down on his dick, feeling every ridge and vein inside of you. You both hissed as he breached your tight hole. 

Finally, you thought. 

Suguru resumed his sucking on your nipple, moaning around your soft mound, sending vibrations through your body. You were so overstimulated and sensitive that you felt like you were about to cum right there and then. 

He could feel that you were close by the death grip you had on his cock. So, he reached one of his large hands down from your waist and found your clit. You sunk your nails into his wide shoulders in response. 

“Give it to me,” Suguru growled on his way to give your other nipple the same treatment. 

The coil in your tummy snapped, the sensations driving you hard into your climax. Suguru moved to nibble on your earlobe, whispering what a good girl you were. 

As you came down from your high, Suguru’s hands moved down to your bump, staring in awe. 

“I told you I love this tummy,” he commented, his large hand splaying across your bellybutton. He pressed his forehead against yours. “I think it’s so beautiful, that your body submitted to mine.” 

“Mr. Geto,” you said with a fake gasp, sarcasm dripping from your voice, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re getting off on my predicament, you pervert.” 

“Touché,” he smirked. “I think it’s hot your body is going through all of these changes, just because of me. You’re mine,” he growled out the last words. 

“I’m yours,” you confirmed. 

“Suguru, I’m tired, I don’t know if I have the energy to ride you like this.” You realized he still hadn’t cum yet, he was probably in pain with the deep arousal he felt. 

“Okay, I’ll carry you to bed and we can finish there,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead and slipped out of you, your juices trailing behind in a sticky string where you were formerly connected 

He then picked you up, bridal style, and started the short walk towards your room. The cool air felt sensitive against your hot pussy and swollen clit, your arousal and cum now rolling in small beads down the back of your thighs. 

He set you on your side on top of your California king mattress, covered in fine fabric sheets. Then, he took one of the large decorative pillows and pushed it in between your knees to allow him easy access to your cunt. This position would also allow some relief to your aching lower back. Suguru knew you loved it when he massaged your back, so he started there, pushing circles into the sore muscle and kissing up your spine. 

His erection rubbed up against the back of your thighs, rendering the both of you delirious. 

When you both couldn’t take it anymore, he finally slipped into your warm, wet heat again. 

“How would you like me to fuck you, love?” Suguru questioned. 

“Slow and deep. Wanna feel all of you,” you drooled.

“Mmm, sounds perfect,” he responded, pressing wet kisses into your neck. With that, Suguru started a long, deep thrust into the depths of your pussy. You felt every part of him; every ridge, every vein. You made a sound that you didn’t even know could come out of you. 

Suguru picked up the pace a little bit, leaving little whimpers and groans in your ear as he rutted into you. Suguru was usually pretty reserved during sex, but he recently started to be more vocal for you. It spurred you on even more, made you even more aroused, which felt impossible at this point. 

“I love it when you whimper-nGHH,” you moaned, as Suguru punctuated the end of your sentence with a particularly harsh thrust. The sex started to feel desperate, animalistic almost. Suguru felt something primal within him snap. He needed to fill you, to stuff you so full, he would watch his cum leak out of your pussy. 

“Suugguuhh-“ you felt your second orgasm of the night closing in on you. 

“Cum with me, doll, lemme fill you, ngh, u-up,” he grunted, moving a hand down to toy with your clit. “You look s-so good, full of me. Ngh- your tummy all round, tits all plump, making milk for my m-my baby,”

For some reason, that sent you over the edge, clamping down on his cock and coming hard. Your cunt sucked him in with a firm grip, and you could feel that he was close too. As he continued to fuck you through your climax, his heavy balls slapped once more against your thighs, and he came with a gasp, a series of, “I love you’s” and “Thank you’s” flooding from his mouth. 

He fucked himself through his orgasm, and finally collapsed into the mattress. After a few minutes, Suguru pulled out, watching in awe as his release dripped out of your hole. His fingers traveled down to the mess the two of you made and swiped his pointer and middle fingers through your folds. 

“I probably sound like a broken record, but I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve you,” he said, kissing the top of your head, moving both of his hands to rest on your bump again. 

“C'mon, let’s clean you up, doll,” he said, trying to drag you out of bed. But you were already fast asleep. 

Suguru smiled to himself, running to the bathroom to get some warm compresses and clean towels. When he finished cleaning you up as best he could, he made his way to his closet, where he fetched his favorite graphic t-shirt. He handled you with more care than he would a butterfly or a flower as he dressed you, and headed to the bathroom to clean himself up. 

After he deemed himself decent enough, Suguru walked over to your sleeping form and bent down to the level where your belly was. He criss crossed his hands and rested his chin on them. 

“I love you and your mommy so much, little one. You’re so loved already,” he whispered, reaching one of his hands towards your belly. 

Suddenly, he felt a small fluttering beneath his hand. Suguru smiled, his eyes alive with pride and wonder.

… 

The next morning, you awoke to the smell of something delicious. 

And four little feet running across the floor.

“Shhh, Nanako, you’re gonna wake up Kamo-san,” Mimiko warned her sister. 

“It’s okay girls, I’m already up,” you sighed, yawning. “You girls sleep good?” 

“Yeah. Can we get crepes today?” Nanako asked, changing topics rather quickly. 

“It depends on what time me and Suguru get done at the monastery, but there should be enough time. The baby has been craving some chocolate,” you chuckled.

“I have a new name for the baby,” Mimiko declared, starting to climb on your bed.

“Oh, yeah? What?” You scoop her up and bring her into your lap somewhat successfully. 

“Peach. Like the princess,” Mimiko said, matter of factly. She looked down right proud of herself. 

“Mimiko, that’s a fruit. I think it should be Sparkles,” Nanako responded back to her sister. 

“Well, we’ll have time to think about what the baby’s name should be, but for right now…I think we should eat some breakfast and see who can get dressed the fastest,” 

“Geto-san made some breakfast,” Mimiko stated. 

“And I helped,” Nanako exclaimed, attempting to have her voice heard in the conversation.

“I helped too,” Mimiko scolded with jealousy. 

“Why don’t you girls go help set the table too and I’ll be there in a minute,” you said, pressing kisses to their foreheads. 

“Fineee,” Mimiko rolled her eyes playfully. 

You freshened up, brushing your teeth and wrapping your body in a luxurious silk robe Suguru had purchased for you. 

As you made your way down the long corridor and into the kitchen, you could hear the sizzle of something cooking. You turned the corner to find Suguru, shirtless, standing over the stove of your enormous kitchen. You decide to sneak up on him, letting your finger creep around his waist as you pulled him back into a hug. You couldn’t press yourself flush against him, as your stomach got in the way. 

“There’s my girl,” Suguru cooed. 

“You’re making breakfast?” You beamed with tears in your eyes at the stack of American-style pancakes next to the stove. For some reason, this small gesture was making you really emotional. 

“Of course, baby. I let the chef take off this morning to spend some time with my beautiful girls before I have to head over,” he replied, snaking his arm back to grab on to yours and place a kiss on your palm.

It was so domestic. It was so normal. 

“Okay, order’s up. Mimi, Nana, will you help me put these on the table?” Suguru asked.

“Yes Geto-san,” Mimiko sang as she skipped towards the tower of the fluffy, golden deliciousness. 

“Thank you, sweetie,” Suguru whispered, giving her hair a ruffle. 

…

After the pancakes were eaten, and the syrup had ended up on the faces of the twins and Suguru, you pried the girls out of their seats to get dressed for the day. You and Suguru headed back to your quarters to change into your robes. 

As you let the luscious silk fabric cascade off of your body as down to the floor of your shared closet space, you felt the presence of your fiancé behind you. 

“Hi,” he smirked into your shoulder, starting to press kisses up your neck. 

“Hi,” you whispered back. 

One of his large hands reached down to your bump, caressing it with the lightest of touches. 

“Can I listen to her?” He asked like a giddy child. 

“My love, you never have to ask, you’re always welcome to,” you beam as he excitedly makes his way towards your protruding bump. “Baby’s been hanging out towards the bottom today if you want to feel them move,” you added. 

“Hi baby girl, this is your da-” 

“Baby girl? What makes you think the baby's a girl?”

“What makes you think she’s not?” he quipped, his usual banter-like tone making you giggle. 

“As a wise man once said to me; touché.” The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, soaking in each other’s presence. After all, slow moments like this would be rare when the baby arrived. 

Your peace was disrupted by a loud knock at the door. 

“Geto-sama, Kamo-san, there is someone here to see you, he says it is urgent” you heard Suguru’s assistant shout through the door. 

“Tell whoever it is that they have no right to request my presence. I will meet with them when I am in my proper attire,” Suguru snapped. 

“Of course, master. It’s just… this kid…” 

“No exceptions, I don’t care if it’s Satoru fucking Gojo himself, whoever it is can wait,” Suguru pressed, getting annoyed now. 

“Yes, of course, I wi-AHHHHHH,” a blood curdling scream erupted from the other side of the door, followed by a loud thump. 

Sensing danger, Suguru leapt into action, putting himself in front of you and summoning a curse. “Who’s. There,” he demanded. 

Blood started to leak under the door and into the marble tiles of your room. 

Suddenly, the door flew open to reveal the collapsed assistant on the floor, covered in her own blood. Next to the body, there was the figure of a small boy drenched in the scarlet substance. 

“Noritoshi?” you questioned, tears filling your eyes.

…

END OF PART I

dividers by @bunnysrph

#geto #jjk #jjk geto #jjk suguru #jujutsu kaisen fic #suguru smut #suguru geto smut #suguru x you #jjk x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #jjk spoilers #gojo satoru #shoko ieiri #fem reader

[harlowhockeystick]

9 and 18 with coach!sid please <3

"without ever touching him, how can i be guilty as sin?" & "i can tell when someone wants me" | poetic prompts | warnings: smut (18+ MDNI, i can redo if you don't want smut with these prompts!)

takes place after this fic.

"girl, quit eye fucking and leave some room for the rest of us. i can tell your fantasizing, but i don't blame you."

"i'm not touching him, so how can i be guilty of anything?" y/n co-workers words snap her out of her daze as she teases back. it was the beginning of an emergency staff meeting, the meaning was unknown and it was causing quite the buzz around the gymnasium. teachers, admin, and athletic staff alike were sitting together asking each other what they'd heard, known, or if they were getting fired. there was a heavy level of anxiety sitting in the room amongst them.

"sorry," y/n mumbled and sitting up straight. her friend chuckled beside her. but she couldn't help but stare, it had been a week since their dinner together, and it was all she could think about. she'd had trouble teaching, would zone out when talking to carter, their scandalous encounter was taking over her life.

"what do you think they're gonna talk about?" the other teacher asked sitting next to her, sipping coffee out of her tumbler and scrolling through emails looking for clues. "i think they're gonna talk about staff relationships."

her words made y/n's stomach drop. did it get out? did someone see her car at his house? did carter say something? did carter find out? it's amazing how many questions can run through the brain in just two seconds.

"i heard that the boys tennis coach, thomas, is having an affair with the girls tennis coach. i think one of the players caught them in the athletic offices but they did something to keep the kid quiet." y/n feels her nerves calm down, but not all that much. her eyes met with sidney's and she felt like he was trying to silently tell her something but she couldn't pick up on it. they weren't that connected.

yet.

moments later the superintendent gets on the mic and announces to faculty that in fact, both the girls and boys tennis coach were let go due to their actions. the boys coach resigned, and the girls coach was fired due to threatening the school district since she didn't do anything wrong and she was a single woman.

she felt a ball coil up inside her stomach as the staff were reminded of the policy: relationships among staff must be brought before the board if they occur within the school year. it was a district policy, to keep drama out of the way, and to keep relationships private to the parties benefit. at least, that was the way it was explained.

-

that meeting was bullshit. sent 10:45 am

y/n's phone pings signaling a text from sidney. she reads it as her students are taking their test. she feels butterflies and anxiety at the same time. her leg bouncing underneath her desk as she plans a reply.

...but what did he mean? was he against the rule, meaning he wanted a relationship? or was it just a waste of time? yes, it was a waste of time.

i know, it could have just been an email. sent 10:48

he never responds, but she gets too busy with other class periods. she gets lost back in time once more, fantasizing about that night. during lunch break spent in her darkened classroom, a bowl of warmed up soup in front of her as she grades papers until the next class comes through.

but she gets lost, in the deep trance of the memory of him. if she thinks really hard she can still feel his tongue sliding against her slick core, she can feel herself coming undone again at the force of his skilled and talented body.

she can feel his calloused but soft hands sliding down her body, grasping at her breasts while he sucks all of the sweet juice that flows out of her. she remembers her back arching off his wooden dinner table while he lapped at her for at least ten minutes straight, before he slid his thick cock inside of her for another ten.

she's taken out of her daydream by the sound of the school bell. she has three minutes to get herself back in order to teach again. she considers assigning today a reading and catch up day...so she can continue to reminisce.

dinner at my place? sent 1:23 pm

hell yes sent 1:24 pm

-

"you're bad at hiding your feelings, y/n." sidney stated, flipping over the steak on the grill and setting his wine glass down on the granite countertop. y/n sat on the barstool across from him, drinking a cocktail she made herself.

"what's that supposed to mean?" she took a bigger swig of the alcohol this time, holding eye contact with him as he leaned onto the countertop with his hands, making himself appear bigger in front of her. it worked.

"i can tell when someone wants me. half the women in that school want me, but you're the only one who went for it." she feels like a crook who was caught. "i know you act like last week didn't happen, but it's all i've been thinking about." now he's standing just inches from her on his back patio, the smell of grilled steak and vegetables filling her brain and the firm but agonizing touch making her go weak.

"it's all i can think about too." his thumb glides across her cheek, his whiskey colored eyes staring into her soul, what it feels like for hours. he bites his lip and she thinks she's gonna pass out.

"tell me what you thought about, maybe we'll reenact it after dinner. can't have you eating cold steak, can i?"

#GIF??? HOLY SHIT #j's writing #coach!sidney #coach!sid #sidney crosby imagine #sidney crosby x reader #sidney crosby smut #sidney crosby blurb #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl smut #hockey imagine #hockey x reader #hockey smut

[assistant-of-drama]

Total Drama AU, where Heather makes an alliance with Noah and Lindsay, instead of Beth and Lindsay... With Noah being the Brains of the Team, while Heather is the Leader... And Noah slowly gains a soft spot for Lindsay...

*Noah gets to be the schemer that he was always meant to be.

*In their first challenge, Noah knew how to properly build the hot tub and casually tells the others how to do it.

*Heather notices how smart and clever Noah is and decides that making an alliance with him would be perfect.

*Heather makes the alliance with Noah, while they were running for the Stay Awake Challenge, then later she makes the alliance with Lindsay while they were all staying awake.

*Noah compliments Heather for the clever idea of stealing Eva's mp3 player to make the strong girl angry and get kicked off.

*When Noah falls asleep, he ends up platonically cuddling with Lindsay and Heather then he wakes up super embarrassed about it, but Lindsay thinks that sleeping Noah is a cutie.

*During the Dodgeball Challenge, Noah does the sport even though he was terrible at it (which Heather teased him about, while Lindsay gives Noah encouragement), in this story Beth gets eliminated cause she was scared of getting hit in the face and kept running away from the ball (I'm sorry Beth).

*When Heather was angry at Gwen for refusing to accept her leadership and wanted to humiliate her by reading her diary to the world... But Noah quickly tells her that idea is stupid, cause Heather will only gain enemies that would want to eliminate her early... So, Noah came up with a better idea, that would both humiliate Gwen and vote her off the island as a bonus...

*Using his genius intelligence and skills, Noah hacks into the confessional cameras in the outhouse, as well as probably other cameras and gets a lot of Gwen's meaner words... Including the ones where Gwen insults everyone on her team, except for Leshawna and Trent (cause TDI Gwen was a grumpy, goth girl and she was a bit of a jerk sometimes; I'm sorry Gwen, I like your character)... Noah creates a video of all of Gwen's mean words, gives the video to Heather, who shows it to everyone at the talent show...

*Almost everyone turns against Gwen and the poor goth girl gets voted off that night, with only Leshawna, Trent and Cody comforting her... Gwen is touched that Cody forgives her for calling him annoying in the video and they become friends, before she leaves... Heather and Noah are proud of themselves, while Lindsay can't help but feel guilty (even though Gwen had insulted her too)...

*In the Outdoors Challenge, Noah almost immediately knew that the bear was only Izzy in a bear costume... when the actually bear shows up, Noah shares a tree branch with Heather and Lindsay.

*Noah lies about his worst fear being that he has to kiss Heather, causing everyone to laugh at the joke... Chris knows that Noah is lying, but tells Noah to kiss Heather anyway, cause Chris knows that Noah will hate it... Afterwards, both Noah and Heather don't stop using mouthwash until their mouths are numb, while Lindsay playfully teases them about being a cute couple.

*During the Canoe To Another Island Challenge, Noah and Lindsay begin to slowly bond and start becoming actual friends.

*During the Deer Paintball Challenge, Hunter Noah helps Deer Heather find the perfect place to hide and guards Heather, while Lindsay looks for berries for them to eat... Heather then keeps insulting Lindsay (who wasn't there at the moment) which angers Noah to the point where he decides to shoot her with the paintball gun and Heather later grabs Lindsay's gun to shoot him back... They still have the alliance, but Heather had to promise not to insult Lindsay to Noah's face anymore.

*However, while Heather always saw Lindsay as a puppet, Noah instead slowly develops a soft spot for the blonde fashionista... and that soft spot eventually helps Noah become a somewhat better person.

*Lindsay becomes Noah's BFF, instead of Owen.

*During the Cooking Challenge, Noah smirks and does nothing when Leshawna and the others lock Heather in the fridge.

*During the Trust Challenge, Noah and Owen get paired together and they bond quite a bit.

*During Chef's Challenge, Lindsay helps Noah power through the challenges, while Heather taunts Noah for letting his friendship with Lindsay 'make him soft'.

*During the Bike Race Challenge, Noah is proud of Lindsay for standing up to Heather and hugs her... Lindsay gives Noah a platonic kiss on the cheek, before she accepts her elimination and leaves on the boat... After Heather doesn't give up her invincibility to protect Lindsay, Noah breaks up his alliance with Heather.

*Either Noah makes it to the Final Three and defeats Heather in the Triple Dog Dare Challenge (with Owen's help)... or Noah accidentally gets voted off by the eliminated contestants (like what happened to Leshawna in canon), but before that happens, Noah perhaps hacked into Chris's computer earlier and knew about the eliminated contestants possibly voting someone off... and Noah decided to leave written ideas for challenges (like the Triple Dog Dare Challenge) and hope that one of his ideas finally get Heather eliminated (which it does).

*Noah secretly feels a little guilty for being the indirect reason Heather was shaved bald (he felt like that was going a bit too far), so he leaves Heather a wig for her to wear by her resort room's door and Heather doesn't find out who it's from... or does she?

*Lindsay and Beth still become friends at 'Playa De Losers', while Noah still becomes friends with Owen... but Noah and Lindsay are each other's BFF, in this story... Noah and Tyler also get along (since Tyler is dating Lindsay)...

*Lindsay also convinces Noah to properly apologize to Gwen.

#td noah #td heather #td lindsay #total drama #total drama island #schemer noah #platonic lindsoah #platonic nowen #noaheather #neather #td owen

[moonspirit]

what do u think the alliances favourite form of media is? (books, poetry, music, movies etc.) now that they’re able to freely enjoy such things

Hiya!

Oh well xD I have some strong opinions on this one.

For Armin, his fascination with books will not cease, obviously, and good for him if he finds a library he can spend all day cooped up in, reading about wonderful new things. But also, I like thinking that he's gonna enjoy music a lot. Once he gets his hands on some records, and the Alliance hauls a gramophone into their house, he's going to really become a music enthusiast. I see him bonding with Pieck over their mutual love for good music.

(also. Once he discovers a new machine or contraption or invention, it's over for everyone.)

Annie - well @aquietjune introduced the image of Annie being a movies lover, and it's been stuck in my head ever since xD It's just adorable to think she enjoys going to watch the moving pictures and can spend any amount of time there. But aside from this, while I think she's not much of a book person, I like the idea of her enjoying crossword puzzles a lot. She'd like to have something to keep her mind busy and they're good for that. Ofc, this means Armin and her can have dining table dates where he's reading a book and she's doing a puzzle and he helps her with words when they're being particularly difficult.

Jean - XD oh god. I imagine this guy likes activities that exude an air of elegance and class. This could be painting, or an interest in fine art, and poetry, museums, art galleries, the like. I think he'd also enjoy the movies and maybe he and Annie could go together for a few (tho she's not having any of his intellectual put-on opinions on them).

Pieck - she's gonna be a plant lady 100%. There will be so many plants in her room and in the house that a giant leaf is smacking everyone in the face wherever they go. I just think she's going to find some comfort raising baby plants especially if we consider that she's the only real "odd one out" in the Alliance. She's lost everyone she knew and loved and is a newcomer among the others. But! There's also the music! She's got good taste in music and I imagine she's going to find some closeness with Armin in this interest.

As for Connie and Reiner. See, I really think they'd enjoy festivals and carnivals and board games and shooting games haha xD Not that any of the others would enjoy them less, but they're the first to make a beeline if there's something going on somewhere. Reiner canonically enjoys playing chess too (if I'm remembering right, he used to play a lot with Armin during their cadet years). Connie would enjoy mimicry and jesting shows(?) a lot (plenty to laugh at) and I think Reiner would also enjoy romance novels a lot and get too involved in the drama. I just like making fun of him a lot sorry

Not related to media but I think taking care of pets would help them all, but Reiner in specific. Not going into details here cuz that is another tangent, but for someone with so many suicidal thoughts and ideations, finding joy in bonding with a dog or cat or any animal really, would be good for him.

Falco and Gabi? - they probably love everything! Though Gabi is too restless to sit in one place for anything too long lol. Falco would probably get great book recs from Armin.

Levi - leave the man alone in peace, he's got a tea shop. (But I also hc that he likes the radio a lot)

Mikasa? - I think she'd also like radio broadcasts a lot, and going to plays. I have a very hard time getting into her headspace 🥲

#ask #behyuu #attack on titan #headcanon #alliance #armin arlert #annie leonhart #jean kirstein #pieck finger #f #reiner braun #connie springer #levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #gabi braun #falco grice

[otherworldlygate]

Once again it's Regal appreciation hour by which I mean day by which I mean year by which I mean lifetime.

I was very much prepared to not write any fanfiction this year, but I cannot divorce myself from how awesome my favorite Symphonia blorbos are and so I am writing yet another stupid fanfic. I feel feral about these characters in general but Raine gets quite a lot of attention (because she's wonderful, obviously) so I don't want to focus on her too much. Regal, on the other hand, has been underappreciated in the ToS fandom since the game's release day, so I must advocate for him.

I've been RPing as him for the last year or so, and together my RP partner and I have written about 320,000 words of a story. I'm having a blast, and a big part of that is because Regal is, despite the flaws in the storytelling of ToS as a whole surrounding him (and how all of the Tethe'alla characters kind of fall flat), a rather well-conceived and implemented character. Yeah, his clothes are dumb (I'm happy to retcon that outfit with zero regrets) and the game blows through his story at such a breakneck pace he doesn't get the space or the arc he deserves (he should have taken his shackles off as part of his 'sacrifice' to fight the angels), but he is a genuinely fascinating character who feels, just like many of the others do, as if he belongs very specifically in the world he was created for.

I know a lot of people like to write him as this sad sack of shit just absolutely lost in the grief sauce (see the part about how he didn't get the arc he deserved), but I think that's a mistake. See, the biggest bump in the road for Regal was his lack of understanding of what was happening and why. When you think about it, he was faced with having to kill Alicia seemingly out of nowhere. Like one day he's just minding his business and the next Alicia is gone and very quickly after that she's a monster trying to kill him AND HE HAS NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. He has no answers. All he knows is that he killed her, and his autistic* brain latches onto that detail because it's all he has.

You have to think, too, about the fact that the game gives him nobody. His parents are dead. George, the only person even remotely close to Regal--someone he's known his *whole life*--betrayed him. (George didn't mean for things to go Like That and he's sorry he did it, but HE STILL DID IT.) Regal doesn't have friends and the extra material makes it clear that he was literally raised, specifically by his father, to be a workaholic. Do you think anyone came to see him in prison? He fought in a coliseum for his life for YEARS. He was on friendly terms with some of the other inmates but the guy had eight years to just sit there and get stuck in the loop of knowing he killed the one person he'd let himself get even remotely close to.

Which is something else people always downplay for some reason. The shit with Alicia isn't just "guy is sad because he killed his girlfriend." It's very much, "guy was born and bred to take on the family legacy" except in this case the family legacy is a company, an island, a noble bloodline, and also the absolutely insane idea that work and profit is all that matters. Everyone else is out to get you. Keep the workers dissatisfied but keep them hooked just enough that they'll never leave. Take no time for fun or friends or merriment. Everything in your life is a business transaction. Don't ever forget it. It's us vs. them. You're alone and you have to make this your entire life or it'll all fall to pieces and it will be your fault.

The drama cd in particular really honed in on that way of being raised and it makes his entire character make complete sense. At a relatively young age his father died and he ended up on top (though it's stated he had to work as a CEO before he was elected via a board to the position of President). Having no other guidelines other than what he was taught--and what George himself adhered to--Regal followed that path...until he ended up miserable, because, despite the way he was raised, he's a goddamn empath**.

After literal YEARS of occasionally running into Alicia and talking to her, he starts forming a connection to her--which is important because he's never allowed himself to do this before. And at one point he realizes he doesn't even know her name...which comes as a surprise to him...and brings with it shame. After this, he starts living for himself. He listens to his employees--something his father never did. He starts enacting rules to protect his employees, particularly from things that would hurt them in the field, because part of what was making him so miserable was wrestling with the empathy of their terrible working conditions on top of just hearing his father's manta repeating itself in his head all the time.

I cannot stress enough how important this is. Alicia, despite being a love interest and someone he was interested in seriously dating and perhaps someday marrying (the details of their relationship are never known but it's almost more tragic if they were just starting to be serious), WAS STILL HIS EMPLOYEE.

He was supposed to protect his employees. He was doing so much to ensure his employees would be safe. And then he killed Alicia.

Alicia, the one person he allowed himself to get close to.

Now, consider the fact that he was raised as a tool and not a beloved son; he was not allowed to have friends and not allowed to make merry. He was under his father's thumb until his father's untimely death--a death, by the way, that only surprised him with its suddenness; he did not grieve that man!! Regal, as a 25-year-old man, had ZERO coping mechanisms. All he had was the truth he was raised under and the fact that he went against that truth AND WAS NOW BEING PUNISHED FOR IT. How can someone like this think of anything except that they are the reason George was put in a position where he had to get rid of Alicia? That the only reason Alicia was experimented on and turned into a monster was because of her connection to Regal?

IT MAKES ME FEEL SO FERAL!!!

The events of the game open his eyes to the ACTUAL truth, to what actually happened AND WHY IT HAPPENED TO ALICIA. In the end he learns he had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. If he had not befriended and started falling for Alicia, she still would have died--it's just, if she hadn't had a more direct connection to Regal, who knows where she might have met her end. Alone, forgotten? At least someone knew her as she was; at least someone can tell Presea the kind of person her sister was.

The ToS fandom has always loved joking about how Regal's just into punishment as a kink or whatever (and I'll never forgive the shitty non-canon-in-my-heart sequel for leaning so hard into that angle, fuck you fuck you fuck you) but let's be serious about it for a hot second. Yes, I think learning this information puts him on a better path, but you can't erase 8 years of self-loathing and fear instantly. Did you guys really think this man would just forget about the darkest years of his life and start frolicking in fields of flowers?

The trauma he's endured goes so much deeper than "I killed the person I loved," and boiling it down to that really does the character a disservice. The "born for a specific purpose, not allowed to exist outside of that purpose" bit is also given to Colette and Zelos, but while their role is being a sacrifice whose only use is dying or procreating to continue the line to have more sacrifices (absolutely also traumatizing btw), Regal's situation feels a lot more like indoctrinated religion and, very specifically (and no I am not kidding), religious trauma. Again, he endured that very controlled lifestyle complete with a mantra from birth into his early 20s, and the MOMENT he broke away from it too far, his life came crashing down around him in a very painful and traumatizing way.

Now, you might think the religious trauma parallel is unfounded, if not also the indoctrinated religion aspect of it, it could just as easily be a parallel for an abusive and controlling relationship, right down to the betrayal from someone who is supposed to have your best interests at heart the moment you step outside of that control to the feelings of shame and self-loathing and "you did this to yourself."

So whenever I see people joking about what a sad sack of shit he is or whatever, I'm just astounded, especially if it's coming from someone who loves literally any other character in the game. Like, you'll definitely have your blorbos, and I totally understand if Regal just ain't it for you, but I find it really disconcerting that someone might find (for example) Yuan's trauma deeply meaningful but see Regal's as stupid or silly.

I'm pretty sure I started this post to talk about how easy it is for me to RP as Regal because he's just such a great character to sink into and write about, particularly because I like to imagine that, starting in the post-game, he deeply regrets some of the choices he's made in his life, and, rather than lean into the things that have already transpired, he seeks to do what he can to better the world around him with the resources and power that he has.

It's like the ultimate fuck-you to the way his father raised him. He's not wasting the skills he's developed, but he's also not using them to hurt people or for personal or Lezareno profit.

I think most of us love writing about characters who have to work through their trauma, but there's an extra layer here that I particularly enjoy with Regal. With Raine I'm all about her inability to trust easily and her struggle to feel truly comfortable around other people, but with Regal I think it's maybe specifically related to the fact that he has had a lot handed to him that he didn't necessarily want, and his self-sacrificing nature lends itself to him feeling obligated to take it. I fully believe Regal would be happier and better off stepping away from Lezareno and from his family's toxic ass legacy*** (or at least not working it full-time as the acting President) but I can't ignore the fact that...these things are all he has and all he knows. So writing about him attempting to get back into the swing of things, maybe struggling to find time for himself, falling into workaholic patterns by mistake, learning to set boundaries between his private life and his job...all while not being fully satisfied and finding more fulfillment in charity work and other pursuits, just makes him feel like a very well-rounded character. Like...it's believable that he would continue to work a job he didn't particularly love specifically because not only does he not know anything else, but he knows with this position of power he can make a lot of things happen that would be impossible if he just twiddled his thumbs on the sidelines--like financial assistance going to Palmacosta, or his duties as a nobleman to try to get better laws passed in Tethe'alla, etc.

This was a pretty clumsily-written post and for that I am truly sorry. I've just been absolutely insane lately thinking about Regal and I had to get some of why I think he's such a wonderful character out into the world.

:)

*this is just my headcanon but a lot about Regal screams autism to me.

**this is canon as far as I'm concerned. I wrote him this way far before I ever heard the drama cd, and the drama cd just solidified it for me tenfold.

***there's a scene in the hotel with Lloyd I think where Regal says his family's legacy on Altamira started when Tethe'alla flipped over to being a flourishing world last, which means they were in a position of power great enough to build an empire on Altamira already at that time (800+ years ago). I don't want to get into how awful this probably was or how evil the family was because I think you can all imagine that for yourselves. Also, nobody ever mentions the fact that Regal is the last of his family line, but it's a very convenient built-in control tactic to guilt someone into doing as they're told or risk bringing shame to a family that's been going strong and unbroken for over 1,000 years.

#regal bryant #tales of symphonia meta #tales of symphonia

[proshippers-against-censorship]

I’m in a very small fandom and struggling to find other proshippers. Now even interacting with the fandom is a pain in the ass because there’s been antis finding my other accounts, I even had to change my pfp because the artist didn’t support “freaks like me.” Do you have any advice for finding other proshippers/vibe-checking people to see if they’re okay with pro-fic stuff?

I'm sorry that I let this one stew for so long and I'd like to start this off by heavily encouraging others to weigh in.

Anon, first off, I'm so sorry about the way that folks have treated you, and that you can't connect with a media you love in the way that you deserve to. I highly recommend attempting to create your own space, filled with people who follow a similar mindset. Or even just find a friend who'll listen to you ramble and rant. Unfortunately, with some fandoms, that's all you really can do.

This is going to sound a bit silly, but the best way to find good people to be around, really, is to just gauge how 'chronically online' they seem to be. And then, sort of ease into asking them their stance on fiction. I roleplay a lot, so I'll typically ask for RP taboo lists, maybe make a side comment on how 'oh yeah, ugh. Idgaf about fiction and what others do, but yeah, X is def a nope for me in RP as well', and see their response to that. Find little things, and more importantly, find normal things. Sometimes you can even skip that second step. Most folks, if they're antis, you can tell in how they act. If something seems off about them...they likely aren't the best folks to stick around. Keeping away from the drama, period, also works. I try not to bring it up unless it's necessary...why give an argument or harassment a chance to grab a foothold if there's really no need in the first place?

But that's just how I do things, and while it's effective for me, it isn't effective for everyone. To a highly recommend getting as much input as possible to find a way that works for you.

#proshippers against censorship #jackal barks #proship please interact #proship positivity #proship #proshippers please interact #proshipper safe #proshipping #proshipper #anti anti #ask #asks #pro stance

[iamadequate1]

"Discomfort in a Married State" What does this mean?

In Discord, I jokingly said I'd do the Webster's Dictionary trope to start a post.

But... was I joking?

Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as "an intimate or close union," or closely, marry as "to unite in close and usually permanent relation." Taking about marriage is not just about a literal spousal union, and it is not just about romance. You have aspects and ideas in your life that you are married to even though you don't put the word to it. "Marriage of flavors", "married to your job", "marry academic disciplines,"... I had a teacher who said "I'm not married to this idea" when writing something in scratch work as a possibility.

The title "Discomfort in a Married State" is pulled from a quote from the real Stede Bonnet at his trial, and it's repurposed in the show, used at the start of Fictional Stede's pirate journey rather than the end. To me, I do not feel like the adjective is used in the episode as actually being about a spousal union. Stede is not a good fit with Mary, no, and the episode opens with both Stede and Mary both being pushed into the marriage by their parents because of societal expectations and goes on to show that their marriage doesn't work. However, Mary's not alone in Stede's horror dream, and it doesn't just feature his failures in their marriage: the "married state" title drop slides directly to his father mocking Stede's aversion to violence (and weakness, in his, the father's, eyes) and Smoke Blackbeard and Alma serving as a callback to his naive pirate dreams becoming more starkly real when he was stabbed. Mary wasn't what Stede left; unfortunate as it is, as a man, he had other less extreme options to make an unhappy marriage more comfortable for him. The "marriage" Stede has is the life that his father and role at birth pushed him into, and initially, Stede planned to take Mary with him in leaving it. Stede pushed out into what he viewed as a more idealized lifestyle, even though he's finding out its not the final destination in his journey.

On Ed's side, his parallel is not his relationship with Izzy. In his first big conversation with Stede (the one in the library), he says plainly what his "discomfort" is:

Ed: You ever feel trapped, like you're just treading water, waiting to drown? Stede: Yes, I very much have felt that way. Ed: Blackbeard always wins, that's the thing. He can't fail. It's not even a challenge anymore. People just see the flag, and they freak out, Blackbeard!, and they basically just give up, they surrender. What's the point? I don't even need to be on the boat. I'm a ghost. There's no chaos, there's no drama, there's no fucking life! Stede: Look, I can't believe I'm saying this, but have you ever considered retirement?

Ed's "marriage" is with the Blackbeard persona and the pirate life. He's not happy, and he is also looking for a way out. He's idly mentioning death as an alternative (e.g., the "I haven't died yet, have I?" outburst with Izzy, and "I'm thinking about packing it all in". It can be a bit of a grind"" to Stede before Stede introduces Ed to retirement). He then pivots to the brief identity theft escape, then the China plan with Stede. There is a parallel of the marriage -> finding escape pipeline. Ed and Stede were both intrinsically bound to lives they do not want, and they had to take dramatic steps to leave them.

Izzy narratively differs from Mary in that Mary isn't an antagonist (bless you, DJenks). This is a storytelling medium without monologuing voice overs or Shakespearean soliloquies, and something needs to be in story to represent that conflict. Izzy is the representation of the external antagonistic force that adds fuel to Ed's internal conflict, analogous to the function that the Badmintons (instead of Mary) have for Stede. This is what we mean when we say Izzy is a plot device for Ed's (and to a lesser extent, Stede's) story: most of his scenes (all in S1?) revolve around keeping Ed in a life he doesn't want while also functionally servicing as a conventional reaction to Stede's brand of captaincy (characters like Lucius or Frenchie have their own independent quirks, so that's why they don't get this same comparison). Izzy is in story as the obstacle that keeps pulling Ed into that life, into that marriage with that persona. The story is not literally saying Ed is married to Izzy or that they were former lovers, but as the representation in story, Izzy is going to act like a jilted spouse. (And Ed's not into him and views him as a father figure, so... not a literal spousal marriage.)

In the end, the "married state" is not literally about Mary or Izzy. Stede would still be unhappy with a different wife or as a bachelor in the same stagnating lifestyle. Ed would still be unhappy with a different first mate but still living as Blackbeard. Ed reacting strongly in 2x7 when he thought there would be a conflict of a possible deal breaking choice of staying with Stede and leaving piracy show that it isn't just about the right person but making sure that the two perfect people who found each other are both in a position to live a life that makes them both happy outside of their relationship. This is also a romcom very pointedly leading toward a climatic wedding of Ed and Stede, and the message is not that Stede and Ed don't like being married at all: they need to work together to reach a "married state" that satisfies all facets of their lives. They're so close!

We're joined to one another. Intertwined. We wrote our names on each other in permanent ink.

They're working together on their relationship ("the inn" at the end of 2x8 isn't literally about the inn), and they're finding the path to go on that takes them both to a place to where they want to be.

Also, "Comfort in a Married State", calling it as an episode title after WBD collapses and OFMD gets a pick up 🥰

#our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #ed teach #mary bonnet #izzy hands #discomfort in a married state #i can't wait for wbd to collapse #don't stream on max #Youtube

[fluffycrow]

Our Blues (2022) – episode 17

#Our Blues #ourbluesedit #kdramaedit #kdrama #Min Ji Ah #Go Doo Shim #Kim Jung Hwan #Gi So Yoo #Kim Hye Ja #Lee Jung Eun #all #m:gifs #took a liiiiiittle longer break instead of couple months oops.. #actually I don't really care I'll take as long as I need to finish #it's not like I'm keeping up with other dramas #bcs it really fucks up trying to gif as soon as you can #and what the hell! there's no time limit when we should gif shit anyway #really trying to get rid of *late to gif this* mindset and any other negative thoughts #I want to enjoy making gifs again and not care if anyone is going to rb #(no not saying please reblog this) #/// had to remake some gifs since the coloring looked weird (don't gif at night and tired) #(+ I don't remember which psd I had used for this show since so many are in different/wrong folders and drivers... and some are not saved) #okay rambling over

[svtskneecaps]

see everyone worried and fretted and panicked and yet quesadilla island looked at pepito and went

#qsmp #qsmp pepito #this post is not about roier's parenting i PROMISE you don't need to defend your cubito #this is literally about pepito being bobbled between caretakers #bad etoiles foolish forever bagi pac and more that i just haven't seen #just. people who have shown an interest and desire to hang out with pepito and keep pepito safe #pepito went to find parents and look!! look!!! #listen. listen. to me the qsmp is about love. not mystery not roleplay not drama not plot. #the qsmp is at its ABSOLUTE best when it is People Talking To Each Other #purgatory was AMAZING for me as a bolas viewer bc if bolas was in the server THEY WERE IN A CALL they were CONSTANTLY talking and i THRIVED #people adopting each other into their fake families in the most middle school childlike wondrous form of love there is #when you like your friend so much they're your fake spouse. your fake child. your fake parent. your fake sibling. #eggs and parents that's LOVE tubbo and fred that's LOVE tazercraft and walter bob that's LOVE; cellbit and roier; phil and missa #baghera and bad and forever; bad and bagi; pierre and maxo; maxo and EVERYTHING his son his daughter his partner the theory bros #favela six that's LOVE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SERVER EVEN ELENA WHO WE'VE KNOWN FOR AN HOUR IS ABOUT LOVE. HER PARTNER IS HER DRIVE. #jaiden's story is driven by LOVE the hole from the love of her son and chasing cucurucho's 'love' in return it's LOVE it's UNDERSTANDING #there's so much love and i'm biased to my povs but holy shit i will repeat it until y'all roll your eyes seeing me on the dash #like NOT THIS ANIME POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BULLSHIT AGAIN no i'm right u can't fight me #block game brainrot #shut up vic

[monstersinthecosmos]

not for anything but friendly reminder that ~fandom discourse~ about where women belong (or people you perceive as women) is misogynistic as fuck. or what they're allowed to say, or what they're allowed to write about, or what they're allowed to enjoy.

next time you see someone having a tantrum and vaguing, especially if their posts from week to week completely contradict each other, perhaps analyze if the common denominator is "a gross woman said something and now i'm mad" without otherwise adhering to any actual principles.

#like i wonder if someone consistently preaches that we need to respect each other's headcanons #but they are specifically bothered by women & people they assume are women #and they keep specifically complaining about how ANNOYING GIRLS are the ones with such STUPID ideas #if maybe that person is just a fucking misogynist LMAO #and maybe we shouldn't give them the time of day :) #but what do i know lol im just a dumb girl with my dumb girl brain #anyway sorry guys i hate posting vagues i think it's really immature but like how much of this do we fucking tolerate #and can you please stop reblogging him bc tumblr's block & mute functions are terrible #if i'm not vague about it does it still count as a vague? #i hate public drama but like he didn't want to resolve it in private either and won't shut the fuck up haha sorry #but i also fucking hate bullies so #:) #also in b4 fandom clique conspiracies start floating around #if you act like a misogynist dickhead and get blocked by a bunch of people #it's not a cabal of mean girls ganging up on you #maybe you're the problem lol #knock it the fuck off aren't you tired of this it's been a year man #get a life.

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Oooh can I rant/spill some family drama into the echochamber of people who don't know my family and will agree with me because they've been carefully selected to?

Like you're gonna stop me.

So my grandmother died about a year ago. The night before the funeral, my aunt (let's call her Karen, all names gonna be fake duh) pulls my mom aside and says, "you should make sure my son, Kyle, isn't in the same limo to the cemetery as your nonbinary kid, Ash, because he might say something transphobic to them." (to be clear, Kyle, ash and I are all in our 30s.) obviously, my mom has a breakdown about this because it's a horrible thing to dump on her the night before her mother's funeral and there's nothing more classic Karen than thinking it's my mom's responsibility to police her children's behavior.

Now, to be clear, Kyle is a libertarian gun nut and nobody likes him, but neither I nor Ash nor my parents have ever witnessed him saying or doing anything homophobic or transphobic. Mostly because we never see or talk to him, but still. Besides wearing his crypto-MAGA hat while he was pall-bearing, he was on his best behavior at Nana's funeral and a Poppy's two months later.

Fasr forward to now and @slugdge-boy, who is trans, and I are planning our wedding. So i tell my parents, "I'm not inviting Kyle, because he is transphobic and my partner, sibling, and best friend are all trans as are a number of other people being invited."

But my parents think it would "create unnecessary drama" if I don't invite him but "don't worry, he won't come anyway." which is probably true, he never comes to family things. No one was even sure he would come to the funeral.

But I don't want him to think he's welcome. I don't want even a 5% chance he might come. I don't want to even worry about the possibility of it. Even if he comes and is on his very best behavior, I don't want to wonder if he's making fun of his to his friends later.

So right now, I think I'm just going to "accidentally" leave his name off the list. I doubt anyone will even notice. I mean, it's an email invite ffs.

#Also in regard to the all American roughneck link above #Both sets of his grandparents were millionaires. He grew up in a gated community where his backyard literally opens into a golf course. #He works as an online marketing manager for a brand of expensive boutique sugar scrubs. #I don't know where he was on January 6th #Also like he has gay uncles on the other side. Like he grew up around gay people. #Maybe my aunt was just being paranoid and he's actually an ally and has a rainbow don't tread on me flag #Who knows? #It's my goddamn special day and I decide who's going to be there #And if there's going to be drama I'd rather it be before the wedding than at the wedding #Also like... I'm making at least a symbolic effort to keep the numbers down #Anyway thank you for reading #post o' mine #Personal #Knowing my luck I'd invite him thinking he won't come and Karen will be like “I told Kyle he had to come”

[welcometogrouchland]

Stories abt teenage girls who are unabashedly cringey but still treated seriously as the hero of their stories and given depth and nuance by the narrative I am kissing you on the mouth

#ramblings of a lunatic #this post was inspired by ppl talking abt how lumity is literally a couple comprised of two teenage nd girls #who write like fanfic abt their favourite shitty ya series together. #and how it doesn't make a big deal out of it like. this is just how gay little teenage girls behave #and they're so true and correct but thinking abt luz got me thinking abt my childhood love of the first vol of ms marvel #(i never read past the first cause i pirated it off janky websites as an 11 yr old jdbsjfn( #and literally they come out the gate in that series with kamala as the epitome of a cringey fandom obsessed teen girl #and then they go all in on still letting her be a hero without sacrificing those traits #I'm forgetting other examples of stories w/ this rn (turning red comes to mind??) #and I know these are all series targeted at like a teen girl audience but a) i am a teen girl and b) bitch they need it. badly! #no more being 'that girl'! embrace the urge to be weird and off putting but happy! and still be given depth and love by the narrative! #(also. fellow audio drama enjoyers. antigne fun is just a toned down 35 yr old version of this. y/n?) #(also i took some letters out of her name in the hope that keeps it from showing up in tags cause while this feels okay to post- #-in the tags of the other examples mentioned i felt a bit bad abt putting it in the wo tag lol) #anyway yeah. literally this genre is braver than any us marine

[linagram]

[ 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚋𝚊 𝚗𝚊𝚘𝚖𝚒'𝚜 𝚝𝟸 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊 ] 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎-𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎

naomi's vd is here!! i can't wait to see what her verdict is gonna be this time. i've recently finished working on her t3 mv concept and it's actually my favorite one rn, so.. hehe >:3

Warnings for Naomi's VD: None

Warnings for Naomi's MV: None, except a child dies, but the description isn't that detailed.

(sounds of footsteps)

Miki: .. Eiji-san?

Eiji: What?

Miki: U-uh..

Miki: I just thought you wanted to talk about..

Miki: Well, what happened earlier.

Eiji: W-what do you want me to say?? 

Eiji: Yes, I know how weird it is. Yes, I know that Shun wasn't supposed to be able to touch me. 

Eiji: I.. I don't understand how this happened either.

Eiji: We're literally the guards of this prison. Aren't we supposed to always be protected? Aren't we supposed to be safe?

Eiji: W-what did go wrong?.. 

Eiji: Does this mean that the prisoners can easily hurt us anytime they want?..

Miki: If Ishizu-san was able to touch you..

Miki: Does that mean that I'm also-

Eiji: NO!

Eiji: Uh.. I mean..

Eiji: I-I will protect you if anything goes wrong. Trust me.

Miki: ...

Miki: T-thank you, Eiji-san..

Miki: A-and I will protect you too, of course!

Eiji: You already did, actually.

Miki: And I'll do it again if I have to!

Eiji: .. Heh, fine.

Eiji: But still..

Eiji: "Just why was Shun able to touch me? I swear there's always been something protecting us."

Eiji: "I don't remember Akio and Aimi being able to touch us either.. though I don't think they had even tried to do that."

Eiji: "And if it turns out that the other prisoners are also capable of that-"

Eiji: !

Miki: Eiji-san, are you okay??

Eiji: Y-yeah, sorry. 

Eiji: We have to focus on interrogating the fourth prisoner. I doubt that she will try to hurt us. 

Eiji: ".. But Kei will."

Eiji: "I-it's okay, I don't think he's strong enough to do that right now."

(the door opens)

Naomi: Ah, hello, Eiji-san and Miki-san.

Miki: H-hello..

Eiji: Let's just get started already.

Naomi: Is everything okay, Eiji-san? You seem kind of.. nervous.

Eiji: I'm fine. 

Miki: Ah, Chiba-san..

Miki: Can you help me with something, please?

Naomi: Huh? Sure.. But what do I have to do exactly?

Miki: C-can you hold my hand?..

Miki: I know this sounds weird, but I just.. have to see something.

Naomi: But aren't the prisoners-

Naomi: .. Okay then.

Naomi: ...

Naomi: You remember that it's impossible for us to touch you, right?

Eiji: ".. So Naomi still can't touch us."

Eiji: "Then why-"

Eiji: ".. Wait a minute. What if it's not about who can touch us, but which one of us is more vulnerable?"

Eiji: "And if Naomi still can't touch Miki-"

Naomi: Y-you see, I actually have a question for you two.

Naomi: Sorry, I know you're supposed to interrogate me and I will answer all of your questions, but also..

Naomi: Can you tell me what this is?

Eiji and Miki: !

Naomi: We all got these papers yesterday and..

Naomi: I'm sorry, but what's the meaning of being interrogated again if we have already answered your questions?

Miki: W-what does it say?

Eiji:"Prisoner 004, Chiba Naomi, please answer the questions below. You can write as much or as little as you wish."

Eiji: "Question 01: Do you know why you're here?"

Eiji: "Question 02: Have you committed any other crimes except murder?"

Eiji: And there's just more questions.

Naomi: .. So you two also don't know what all of this means.

Naomi: Well that's weird.

Eiji: You got these yesterday, right? Why do you still have them? Akio, Aimi and Shun haven't mentioned anything like that.

Naomi: I got confused and decided to keep them until I get all the answers. If I'm not wrong, when everyone woke up, they couldn't find their papers anywhere, but I still had mine for some reason. 

Naomi: I find it surprising myself. I haven't even tried to hide them..

Naomi: I also haven't answered any of the questions as you can see.

Miki: But who would try and-

Eiji: .. Who else would need to interrogate the prisoners except the prison guards?

Eiji: "Me and Miki didn't do it, so that means.."

Eiji: ".. Another guard did it."

Eiji: ".. Of course. If they're hiding somewhere, but still have to do their job, it means that they have to interrogate everyone in some other way."

Eiji: "But seriously, making the prisoners fill out this questionnaire sounds kind of naive.."

Eiji: "Like, did that guard really expect everyone to tell them about their crimes like that?"

Eiji: "Hold on, it has something on the back-"

Eiji: "If you don't answer all of the questions, you will be punished."

Eiji: ".. Never mind, maybe that guard is smart."

Eiji: Wait, Naomi. 

Eiji: You haven't answered the questions, right? Do you know what that means-

Naomi: Yes, I know, Eiji-san. I've seen it.

Naomi: Well, if it really was done by a different guard.. I'll just let them do what they want.

Naomi: Just like I had let you vote me innocent even though I wanted you to vote me guilty.

Eiji: ...

Naomi: So if that was a different guard interrogating us.. 

Naomi: I guess it's time for me to be interrogated by you two, right?

Naomi: I promise I will cooperate.

Eiji: .. R-right.

Miki: So, Chiba-san, how are you feeling? Is everything okay?

Naomi: I feel.. weird.

Naomi: I mean, I was forgiven even though I had asked you to vote me guilty..

Naomi: I honestly didn't know how to feel after you had told me about my verdict.

Naomi: But in the end, I've simply decided to agree with you. 

Eiji: .. Why?

Eiji: I expected more resistance.

Naomi: *laughs* "Resistance"? What did you expect from me?

Naomi: Did you expect me to argue with you? Did you expect me to say there must be something wrong with your judgement and morals?

Naomi: I'm not like that at all.

Naomi: .. It's easier for me to just nod and agree with everything.

Naomi: It's always been like that, haha..

Miki: I-I can relate-

Eiji: Even though you're the oldest prisoner, it's easier for you to just follow orders, huh?

Eiji: Well that's lame.

Naomi: ...

Naomi: Hey, Eiji-san.

Naomi: Aren't you doing the exact same thing?

Eiji: W-what do you mean by that?..

Naomi: I don't think you're doing all of this out of your own free will.

Naomi: You're just following someone's orders, aren't you?

Naomi: But I can tell that you like to think that you're the one who has all the power here, haha.

Naomi: So, Eiji-san..

Naomi: Maybe stop acting just like he did, okay?

Miki: "He"..

Miki: Y-you mean your victim, right?..

Naomi: ...

Naomi: Oh well, looks like it's time to talk about that.

Naomi: Yes, I was talking about my victim.

Eiji: If I'm acting just like he did..

Eiji: .. Did he also call you out for being so weak-willed?

Naomi: This is not me being weak-willed.

Naomi: I'm just trying to survive, just like everybody else here.

Naomi: If you think me agreeing with your decision is a bad sign..

Naomi: Maybe you simply shouldn't have voted me innocent then.

Naomi: Actually, why did you even agree to vote me innocent? Didn't you promise that you will vote me guilty?

Naomi: .. Were you following someone's orders?

Eiji: Y-you!..

Naomi: What's wrong? Are you regretting your decision?

Miki: Chiba-san! Please stop provoking him!

Naomi: I'm not. I'm afraid Eiji-san simply gets angry a bit too easily.

Naomi: But anyway..

Naomi: What questions do you have for me?

Miki: .. S-so, y-your victim was a child, right?

Naomi:*nods* Exactly. He was 10 years old.

Naomi: And he was one of my students.

Eiji: Your victim was your own student..

Naomi: Before you say anything else, Eiji-san, I want to remind you that me being voted innocent was your doing too.

Naomi: And I'm sure you already knew that my victim was my own student. 

Naomi: I mean, I'm an elementary school teacher and I keep saying things like "Oh, kids can be so cruel".. 

Naomi: I don't have any kids and my younger sister is 27, so..

Naomi: It's obvious that if my victim was a child, it means they were one of my students.

Miki: .. But why? 

Miki: Why did you kill your own student? 

Miki: I thought you're good with kids and-

Naomi: Everyone thought so, Miki-san. 

Naomi: I thought so too. 

Naomi: But that kid.. 

Naomi: He was too much for me to handle.

Naomi: I can't blame him though, considering what his family was like. 

Eiji: But did you seriously kill him just because he thought you saying yes to everyone was pathetic? 

Naomi: I knew that if I won't shut him up, I will have to continue saying yes to everyone until the end of my life. 

Eiji: Oh, so killing a child sounded like a fun way to rebel? 

Naomi: Just so you know, Eiji-san, when I heard him say those words, I felt exactly like you did after I said that you're just following someone's orders. 

Eiji: BUT THEN WHAT'S THE POINT OF KILLING A CHILD TO FEEL MORE "POWERFUL" AND THEN JUST AGREEING WITH OUR JUDGEMENT EVEN THOUGH YOU WANTED A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT VERDICT?! 

Naomi: ... 

Eiji: .. If you want to fight for your independence, then you should just keep fighting no matter what. 

Eiji: You can't just do one thing and say that it's enough. You will never become truly free if you do that. 

(the bell rings, machinery sounds)

Naomi: But Eiji-san.. 

Naomi: Does this mean that being a prison guard is your own way of fighting for your independence? 

Eiji: ... 

Eiji: We're the ones who are supposed to be asking you questions, not the other way around. 

Miki: Um, Chiba-san.. 

Miki: .. Do you think you will be okay with your verdict this time too? 

Naomi: I will accept your judgement no matter what. 

Naomi: You two are the guards, after all.

Eiji: .. Even if that kid was an annoying brat, he didn't deserve to be killed just so that you could feel a bit stronger than usual and then let us do whatever we want with you. 

Eiji: Is it really you just being weak-willed or is it you being so happy that you got voted innocent that you don't want to change our mind? 

Naomi: I'm-

Eiji: Well, whatever it is.. 

Eiji: Prisoner 004, Naomi, sing your sins! 

42% ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░ 100%

[ MV Description ]

Her MV would have mostly black, white, gray and darker shades of teal in the beginning, but it would have more red closer to the end. 

Naomi is sitting in what appears to be a living room. There are two dark figures sitting on the couch in front of her and it looks like they're talking to her about something. Naomi is listening and nodding, but she also looks kind of anxious and she refuses to look them in the eyes.

"Here you are, telling me that old story again

The story that I already know

Or at least I think that I know"

Suddenly one of the figures stands up and tells Naomi to follow them somewhere. Naomi does exactly that and it looks like that figure wants to show her someone's room. Naomi realizes that it's actually a child's room and looks terrified. 

"No, no, I don't need to see it

I already know that I'm "Guilty"

So why are you still trying to make me feel sorry?"

The figure gives her that child's diary and lets her read it before leaving the room. Naomi continues reading the diary and she starts crying.

"I can't believe I found out about this only now

Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't anyone else tell me about this?

You've experienced so much pain, even though your life was so short

Does this mean that I've saved you from all that suffering?"

The setting changes and now Naomi is walking along some kind of dark hallway full of doors with dates written on them. She sees a certain date, gets nervous, but still opens that door. 

It looks like she's inside of one of that child's memories now. She sees herself sitting and drinking tea with her students, meanwhile one of the kids, a little boy with orange hair and red eyes, sits alone and nobody wants to talk to him. The "Present!Naomi" puts her hand on his shoulder, but the kid doesn't react. 

"I tried to help you, I really did

I saw myself in you, I knew you were struggling

But you still pushed me away

So don't blame me for being a little bit angry"

The setting changes again and now it looks like Naomi is at someone's funeral. She's crying and the two figures from one of the past scenes try to comfort her. Some time passes and now Naomi is visiting that person's grave and even though she looks genuinely sad at first, everything around her starts becoming more red. 

"I know I'm "Guilty", I know I am

But everyone around me keeps saying I'm "Innocent"

Who should I believe? Hey, if you still can hear me

Tell me, would you still laugh at me for being so foolish?"

The grave gets replaced by a door with a different date being written on it and Naomi opens it. It's a different memory now and it scares her even more. Naomi sees herself crying and it looks like someone has slapped her. She also sees her students watching her while hiding and they all look like they feel sorry for her, except the orange-haired boy from before. 

"Come on, at least pretend that you feel bad for me

Or actually, maybe I don't deserve your pity

Is this your revenge? Or are you just that cruel?

Aren't you too small to have so much evil in your body?"

She takes a step back and suddenly falls back into the memory from before, but now Past!Naomi is drinking tea with everyone and the orange-haired boy stands up, points at her and starts laughing at her. Other students ignore him and some of them hug Naomi and try to cheer her up. When the boy realizes that no one is agreeing with him, he walks away and tries not to look defeated. Naomi asks the children to leave her alone for a second and she walks up to him and puts her hand on his shoulder again. The boy looks surprised and his eyes light up for a moment, but Naomi's eyes become red. She keeps smiling and she even hugs him, but it's obvious that the boy is already in her trap. 

"I know I was your favorite, don't try to hide it anymore

"I just wanted more attention"? Well, here it is, try not to drown in it"

Suddenly, the setting changes again and everything starts becoming more and more red. The world around them looks like it's on fire. When the boy opens his eyes and looks around, he sees that Naomi has changed as well. She doesn't look like herself anymore. It looks like she has just turned into a devil. Naomi's hug becomes even more tight and she keeps holding the boy in her arms as he slowly turns into ashes. 

"Let's admit it, both of us deserve to rot in Hell

And I refuse to be punished without you next to me"

When he's finally gone, Naomi's eye color turns back to normal and she's back to her human form. She sees that the boy is no longer with her and just keeps staring at what is left from him with an emotionless expression. She stands up and turns away from it. The video ends. 

#her mv was actually the hardest one to write along with reina's JDKSDSKSLSL #but man. i love naomi's character. #something about her is so. yes she is a child murderer. yes she hated that kid but still tried to get along with him. #she keeps saying that she's guilty and that she should be punished but she also accepts being forgiven. #is it her just trying to please everyone again or does she actually think she's innocent? you decide #but i really love her t3 mv (i think it will mostly stay the same regardless of the verdict) bc it shows her completely different side #and i'm not even talking about the angry one (though it'll also show up) #and it will also show that there was another reason why everyone kinda forgave her and decided to forget about her murder #like yes other people (even her victim's own parents) hated the kid but they also just kinda looked at naomi and went- *i get stopped* #but back to her t2 mv. yay we have another bingo mention! #🎤 voice dramas! 🎤 #🗡️guard 001: sanada eiji 🗡️ #🌼guard 002: andou miki 🌼 #🌿prisoner 004: chiba naomi🌿 #milgram #milgram oc #milgram project #ocgram

[flufflecat]

Really not feelin it this week. Tag rant incoming

#it's just been a slew of horrible things this week and idk how to handle any of it #we had to take my childhood cat to the vet on Monday bc she's very sick and very skinny #and we thought we'd have to put her down #I'm so thankful bc she still has a bit of time and really all I want is for her to be comfortable again before she dies #but shes in such bad shape #and I hate seeing her like that. I found her when she was just a few weeks old #and now she's 15 and she just got old out of nowhere #and I'm not gonna be able to see her anymore soon #I'm going to a funeral Saturday for one of my aunts #I wasn't close to her since I was a kid but my family more or less abandoned her #and now she's dead and I never went to see her when she was alone #and today my other aunt died. and I was close to her. #I haven't seen her in years either though bc of more family drama. #and I never visited her either. idek if she was alone or if she had people. #I should have visited her when we found out she was sick but I just didn't #idk what to do. it's all just piling up #I feel worse rn than I have in years #and more bad things just keep happening #I was excited this week bc I got some work done on my college application #but now my motivation is just gone #I just wanna sleep and wake up and find out that my aunt is actually alive and someone just got it wrong somehow #but I can't fall asleep and that won't happen so waking up won't even be worth that #I would call off work tomorrow but I don't wanna be alone and my coworkers are the only people I know in town #at least they're all nice people #this all sucks so fucking bad #personal #negative

[bionicbore]

Y’know I kinda wanna elaborate on the HC I mentioned, where I said that if Donald hadn’t found out what Douglas was doing and intervened, Douglas would’ve eventually cracked and fessed up

Mostly I wanna elaborate that he wouldn’t have fessed up because of ethical guilt (though I do think he may have something somewhere inside him that would give a damn about ethics. He did seem pretty excited to do good things after all) but more because he’s got the emotional strength of a wet tissue and would feel personal guilt after getting so attached

I’m gonna put most of it under a cut ‘cause it turned into a full on Douglas study I guess

Like... obviously I’m prefacing this with it being my own interpretation of the guy, but Douglas was a pretty emotional dude in the show. His entire redemption was rooted in his emotional attachment to his family. His morals never 100% improved, and the growth we did see was almost entirely motivated by “My family won’t like me if I’m a bad guy :(”

And while he’s not a particularly GOOD dad, he is a dad. Literally every kid Douglas gets more than 2 minutes of screen time with, he goes into some kind of Dad Mode

So, the way I see it, I don’t think Douglas would’ve lasted if he got to keep the Rats for longer than he did. It’s never actually said how old the kids were when Donald found out, but they couldn’t have been older than like... 3? Tops? Possibly even younger, technically. If Douglas actually got to watch those kids grow up in whatever messed up environment he had them in to keep them hidden (Which, I’ll be honest- based on comparing the brothers’ lab quality, was probably a worse environment than Donald’s lab) I don’t think he would’ve been able to commit. Not with the original trio, anyway

ALSO. I wanna bring up Donald, ‘cause he’s also a factor in of himself

Yeah, the brothers fight a lot, and did fight a lot. But I think it’s worth remembering that despite that, these two founded a company together. They invented things together. They work together seamlessly when they get in the zone. Douglas, despite all the animosity, was ecstatic at the prospect of getting to work alongside his brother again, and was genuinely sad when Donald didn’t feel the same, but chose not to fight Donald’s decision

Douglas cares what Donald thinks of him, and I bet he cared a lot more before Donald discovered what was happening and made his own judgement call. The two of them had to have been incredibly close, and that probably would’ve weighed on Douglas, too

But Donald found out on his own, and he didn’t waste time. He saw the children, he saw the conditions, the plans, the schematics. There was absolutely no way to rationalize what was happening here, Donald had to get these kids out and away. His little brother was using their assets to make deals with terrorists regarding the creation of bioweapons in the form of children

And Douglas was left ghosted by the most consistent presence in his life for the past 20+ years, locked out of the company he helped build from nothing, and separated from these kids who have also been a consistent presence in his life for entirely different reasons

And Douglas is notorious for deflecting and pushing back when someone else decides that he’s in the wrong. All that potential turmoil means the time between Donald finding out and Douglas “dying” was probably like. Intense. To put it mildly

All this to say: Douglas is still a DICK lmao and the point of this post is NOT to be like “Douglas deserved better” or even “Donald is to blame.” It’s more about how Douglas is a notably emotion-driven character and how it affects his dynamics and actions, both positive and negative

It’s also my favorite kind of angst- where technically, things could have turned out okay, or at least better than they did, if everyone involved hadn’t been such a mess

#Lab Rats #Douglas Davenport #I'm only tagging Douglas 'cause he's the focal point but Donald does get a fair bit here #Anyway Douglas fascinates me 'cause like. I definitely don't want him or his actions to be underplayed #Like it really doesn't matter if he wouldn't have gone through with it. Especially not at the time everything happened #The fact that he got as far as he did is damning enough #But also he is SO pitiful and his emotional reliance on others is interesting #Especially in contrast to how nonchalant he tends to act #He's perfect for exploring how consequences effect someone #Which is why I draw him with such tired eyes and like to write him being Fucking Miserable #And I'll say it. Dude was a SOFTIE in the actual show #Seriously- in no particular order: #He made Chase some good soup. He went above and beyond to save Leo's arm. He gave every Rat a new ability for various reasons #He stood up for various kids on numerous occasions. He cried when Leo became an instructor #He saved a stray dog. He put a kid up for adoption to keep him safe. #He encouraged his robot son's passion for drama club. He actively helped Donald with the indestructible car #Look me in the eye. Make direct eye contact with me and tell me #That this man could raise 3 flesh and blood children from infancy #And simply pawn them off as disposable weaponry #You cannot convince me. Douglas Davenport is too pathetic to commit to that bit #He's willing to kill a kid but that goes out the fucking window if he spends more than 1 non-hostile hour with said kid #He acts like he hates his brother's guts but will literally drop it the minute Donald's nice to him in any capacity #... See now I went and wrote TWO essays #Kill me

[dimonds456]

Nah, nevermind, I don't feel like I can properly comb through everything on my own. I'm just gonna get shit wrong, miss things, or otherwise get yelled at.

I'm just gonna rb stuff.

Read the tags as I go off there but. yeah.

Thanks to the people who helped point things out to me. As a bit of an explanation on my own end, I had just woken up lol. I was groggy and that was the first thing I did before even getting out of bed. I really should have waited, but curiosity got the best of me, so.

Whatever.

#this is about james s-merton btw. censored to keep this out of the main tags #yeah feeling like shit rn #not like i didnt have it coming #i am a gullible person and I know i am #i tried to be critical about james' apology and i only managed to notice two (2) things while actively watching #and as a filmmaker I DO still relate to the telos thing #but i think that relatablity is making it hard for me to pick out lies during that section and i HAVE noticed he lies throughout the video #I'm just not the person to properly call him out on it #i will say though that his whole 'memory issues' thing is ACTUALLY making me mad #mfer *I* have memory issues you don't get to use that as an excuse #especially since he talks about stuff on stream so much #if it really was a thing A) why is there no evidence for it? and B) why has he never talked about it before? #I didn't believe him for a second even though- when i first saw it- i REALLY wanted to #but now that i've had time to think about it it's just pissing me off #you don't get to pretend to be disabled to try and win brownie points. #even if he DOES have memory issues that DOESNT MEAN copy+pasting is suddenly okay!? #the other thing i noticed up-front was just the monetization thing- which i had admittedly forgotten about by the time I made the post #(again I had just woken up) #and that was super fucking shitty #while i was at work thinking about this i rewatched Todd in the Shadow's video and a vid debunking the apology (drama mama i think?) #and i kinda wanna rewatch now that i've had a refresher but i also dont wanna give him more money #so i won't #like i said im just gonna reblog stuff #fuck you james. genuinely. it's OVER get OFF the internet. #if you DO wanna stick around then DONT MONETIZE IT. #dimond speaks