#just here for a good gay spooky time

[aquaquadrant]

Philophobia

Word Count: 5,271 Warnings: Shipping, inappropriate/crude humor, paranormal activity, suspense/mild horror, descriptive kissing, mild language Summary: For architecture major and paranormal skeptic Grian, his friends’ after-hours ghost hunting group was just an excuse to spend time with his crush, Scar, without having to actually ask him out. But one fateful night, he finds there just might be things in this world that are scarier than emotional vulnerability… even if only by a very slim margin.

A/N: Did someone ask for a Phasmophobia-inspired Scarian au? Oh yeah, my friend @lunarcrown did! Inspired by the art she made here.

So this is kind of a modern-day college au (not set within the fictional universe of Minecraft), howEVER there are some fantasy aspects in that non-human species (like mob hybrids/monsters) still exist cuz they’re fun and I’m not giving anyone a normal modern name cuz that’s too weird. This is only Phasmophobia-inspired in that GIGS have a ghost-hunting group that functions the same way, but rarely find any conclusive evidence, and don’t have unlimited lives cuz they aren’t playing a game. With that out of the way, hope y’all enjoy, please reblog/comment if u do! - Aqua

~*~

Philophobia

~*~

“I think this is gonna be the one, guys,” Impulse says, turning their van into the driveway.

The suspension creaks as they roll over gravel, rattling the frame in a way that hums through Grian’s hollow bones. His arm is cold where it presses against the window; it’s almost sunset and Impulse has yet to get the van’s heater fixed despite his promises. Stupid demon blood keeping him warm while Grian shivers in the stupid custom pleather jumpsuit that Scar insisted they had made, for their stupid ‘brand’ as a stupid ghost-hunting group. Great, his stupid zipper’s come down again- he stubbornly zips it back up because unlike Scar, he doesn’t like constantly having his bare chest out on display.

Of course, he hasn’t got as much to show off as Scar, who must be getting up at 3 am every morning to work out in order to maintain all that muscle. No wonder Scar prefers to keep his zipper down to his belly button, and doesn’t seem to have ever met a shirt that fits him properly.

… Not that Grian’s ever paid much attention to that sort of thing. 

Grian gives an exasperated sigh. “You’ve been saying that about every case we’ve had for three years!”

“No, no, I really mean it!” Impulse insists. “I feel it in my bones.”

“Yeah,” Scar agrees, leaning forward so his shoulder brushes against Grian’s, “you know Impulse bones good!”

The earnest nature of his statement- and the unexpected physical contact- makes Grian flush. “Scar!” he shrieks, swatting Scar’s shoulder.

“What?” Scar defends. “What, he- he’s got big and strong bones, wonderful bones…”

He acts as if he’s got no idea he said something that could be taken the wrong way. And if it weren’t for the upturned corners of his mouth and the barely-restrained laugh in his voice, Grian might actually believe him.

“Dude,” Skizz chuckles from the front seat, “shut up, that’s awesome.”

Impulse sighs. “Anyway,” he says pointedly, “the place recently had a change in ownership. Previous owner passed away-”

“From murder?” Scar gasps.

Another sigh. “No, from liver failure.”

Grian snorts. “From all the drinking he did to forget about the ghostly hauntings?” he presses, exchanging a cheeky grin with Scar.

“No,” Impulse says, with the patience of a saint, “just normal old-age organ failure. The guy was ancient, and some kinda recluse. House had been in his family since it was built, but uh, he had no living relatives, no will when he died. So the bank took ownership and it’s been sitting off-market for like, fifteen years, til some hot-shot investor thought he could flip it-”

“Ughh,” Grian groans, tipping his head back against the seat. “Investors are the worst-”

“I know, I know,” Impulse soothes, “but um, he’d barely begun when things started happening. Contractors reported it day one, then the owner experienced an event himself and called us. So it’s basically still untouched.”

They haven’t even reached the end of the driveway yet, passing by seemingly endless rows of tall, gnarled pines. Admittedly, Grian’s curiosity is piqued. When he agreed to join this stupid ghost hunting group three years ago, he didn’t do so in the hopes of actually discovering any real paranormal activity. The whole idea is laughable. Ghost hunting is a pseudoscience, at best. Just a bunch of idiots scaring themselves silly in an empty house- and now they’re the idiots! Even their name is stupid: Ghost Investigation Group Services, or GIGS, embroidered on their ill-fitting pleather jumpsuits.

But despite his outright skepticism and dislike for pulling late nights in his already extremely limited free time, Grian’s got one very good reason for agreeing to join.

And his name is Scar.

Grian spent half a semester pining away at the fellow architecture major from across the lecture halls of their many shared classes. Charismatic and easy on the eyes, it was inevitable that Grian would develop a bit of a crush. But as they spent more time together during class projects and conversations in the hallway, he found out just how kind-hearted and passionate Scar was, and how easy he was to talk to, and how strong his arms looked in long-sleeved shirts…

… Yeah, ‘crush’ perhaps isn’t the right word.

So when Impulse- the engineering major who Grian was partnered with for physics lab- got the brilliant idea to start a ghost-hunting group with his best friend and roommate Skizz, and Scar expressed interest in joining, Grian made a split-second decision in a moment of weakness. He maintained his skepticism, claiming that he wanted to tag along just to prove how silly the whole idea was. Impulse was fine with it, while Scar said Grian had to wear the same uniform as them, and the rest was history.

(To be fair, that was before Grian knew it’d be a pleather jumpsuit.)

So here they are now nearly three years later, rumbling down a long gravel road in the dark and cold, up late on a Saturday night even though he still isn’t finished with his condominium model that’s due at 8 am on Monday and he’s fresh out of popsicle sticks. Moments like these almost make Grian wish he could just ask a guy out like a normal person, so they could spend time together without chasing pretend ghosts around dusty houses all night.

But that’d require him to talk about his feelings. Ugh, he’d rather let the ghosts get him.

“Alright.” Impulse slows the van to a halt. The doors unlock with a heavy clunk. “What do you guys think?”

Grian isn’t expecting much when he glances out the window. But the sight that greets him immediately prompts a hasty exit from the vehicle, scarcely noticing the sudden chill, his jaw dropping open in awe.

It’s a Victorian. Not a house that someone has mistakenly called ‘Victorian’ just because it looks old. A genuine, honest-to-goodness, Queen Anne’s style two-story Victorian manor with an asymmetrical facade and a rounded corner tower and a generous wrap-around porch, silhouetted against the fading light of the evening sky.

Grian reaches for his flashlight. Sweeping over the exterior, his breath catches. Knots of ivy creep up the walls, and there are a few places where the intricate wood trim has been lost to previous repairs and weather damage. A couple of the windows are bricked up. Most of the paint is faded and peeling. But overall? It’s beautiful.

“Oh man,” Grian murmurs, pushing his glasses back up, “look at the shape of it... look at the dormers!”

A second beam of light joins in; Scar’s emerged from the van. “Lots of character,” he says, sounding similarly entranced. “And still in great condition! Oh, it’s beautiful. It’s enough to make a man cry.”

Impulse hops out of the driver’s seat, chuckling. “I knew you two would like it. It’s an ‘85.”

Grian gives an appreciative whistle. “Look, I still don’t think we’re gonna find anythin’,” he says with a sideways look at Scar, “but I gotta tell ya… if- if I were a ghost… I think I’d haunt a proper house like this. Not those builder-grade boxes in the suburbs.”

“Right?” Impulse says, his forked tail flicking through the air. “That’s what I’m sayin’... I uh, I think this place has real potential.”

Skizz, who’s come around the van to stand with them, nods thoughtfully. “Definitely somethin’ special ‘bout it, that’s for true,” he says, exchanging a look with Impulse. Then he claps his hands together. “Alright gentlemen, let’s get movin’!”

Impulse and Skizz turn towards the van, heading to open the back.

Grian stares after them, squinting suspiciously. That wasn’t just any look. That was a Look. A Look that he knows all too well. They had that same Look on their faces at last year’s frat mixer, when they rigged the speakers at the Heta Kappa house to play ‘Margaritaville’ every time someone flushed a toilet.

It means that they’re Up To Something.

… Grian’s sure he’ll find out sooner or later.

“Well, Grian,” Scar says, hands on his hips as he surveys the property, “if it’s any connotation, at least we’ll get to study some real architecture tonight.”

Grian gives him a bemused look. “Consolation?”

Scar blinks. “Cono- what, what’d I say? Con- coronation?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, ey,” Grian chuckles, patting him on the shoulder. “Let’s go.”

~*~

“Check it out, dude,” Skizz calls excitedly, “temp’s dropping in here! Five degrees colder than the rest of the house!”

Grian makes a noncommittal noise. “It’s an east-facing room and the sun’s only just set, of course it’s colder than the rest of the house,” he says, idly passing his UV glow stick over an armchair. No prints, of course. “I doubt they’ve updated the insulation anytime within the last two decades.”

“And hey, look,” Impulse chimes in from the corner, “I’ve got EMF 1.3!”

Grian doesn’t even look up. “There’s an exposed outlet in here and I’ll bet the wiring’s older than I am. And in any case, it’s still below the recommended threshold.” Ew, okay, now that’s a suspicious UV stain on the floor, but not of the supernatural kind…

“Oh, it’s definitely not up to code,” Impulse agrees. He waves his EMF reader around a bit, making the pitch warble. “But I dunno, I think this must be the ghost’s favorite room. Might not be here right now, but I’m getting some real vibes…”

Grian rolls his eyes. “Sure…” 

Twenty minutes in, and despite the house’s hauntingly elegant construction, it’s been the same old story. The house is empty and quiet, as abandoned houses tend to be. Quite sparse, as most of the furnishings probably went to auction. The furniture that’s left is covered with tarps and every surface is coated with a fine layer of dust. He can smell mold somewhere in the floorboards and there’s apparent water damage in the ceiling.

The only renovation attempted thus far was the removal of some cheap linoleum tiles that were laid in the kitchen at some point- a renovation Grian can heartily agree with, there’s some absolutely gorgeous hardwood underneath- but they didn’t get far. The removed tiles are still sitting about in a haphazard pile, hammer and chisel abandoned on the floor beside them. Frantic footsteps smeared in the dust and powder paint the scene of a terrified contractor fleeing for their life from the reported ‘ghostly hauntings’. 

In any case, they haven’t heard any activity from the spirit box, nothing unusual has stood out on UV, and the salt Impulse laid out is still undisturbed. Surprise, surprise. Grian’s spent most of his time admiring the elaborate wooden trims lining every wall, scuffed as they are. What he wouldn’t give to properly restore this place…

“Hey, Dipple Dop?” Skizz calls suddenly. “Your radio working okay?”

Impulse gives him a curious look. “Huh? What, is there-” He pauses, glancing down at his radio. “Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, actually, mine’s on the fritz, must be overdue a battery change.”

“Oh?” Grian tilts his head innocently. “You don’t think it’s a ghoooost?”

Impulse purses his lips. “I don’t think everything is a ghost,” he says mildly. He clips the radio onto his belt, turning to the door. “I’ve got extras in the van, hang on…”

“I’ll go, too,” Skizz says quickly, slinging an arm and his wing around Impulse’s shoulders. “Buddy system! You know what, I- I’m tellin’ you, you never split up when hunting ghosts. That’s how they get you, dude.”

Oh. Oh, no.

Grian gives them a warning Look.

They give him a cheeky Look back.

“Yup, yeah, that’s true,” Impulse says with obvious feigned sincerity, steering Skizz out of the room. “So uh, you two keep at it, okay, and we’ll be right back…”

“Oh, okay!” Scar says cheerfully, busy setting up the tripod over in the corner and completely oblivious to their scheme. “Have a great time not getting murdered!”

Grian opens his mouth to protest, but Impulse and Skizz are already gone out the front door. Leaving him and Scar completely alone. Totally by coincidence, surely. Oh, he knew his drunken confession to Impulse at the school’s annual bar crawl fundraiser night would come back to bite him eventually.

It’s almost insulting, in a way. Like they think the only reason Grian hasn’t made a move is because he hasn’t had ample alone time with Scar. Like he needed them to give him an opportunity. But if he’d wanted to confess to Scar, he already would have. He’d have had it well done by now. They could give him a little credit.

See, the thing is, he’s thought about it. Plenty of times, in fact. But the issue he keeps coming back to is that if he tells Scar about his crush on him, then Scar will know about it. There’ll be no going back at that point. And if Scar doesn’t feel the same way- well, Grian can kiss their friendship goodbye. So yeah, no, he doesn’t think he’ll be making any dramatic love confessions tonight, strangely enough.

The risk of an awkward silence developing is astronomical, so Grian clears his throat. “Man… isn’t this place somethin’,” he says, then immediately fights the urge to cringe.

Scar, luckily, gives an emphatic nod. “It is, it truly is amazing.” He straightens up, dusting his hands off as he turns to Grian. “You know who’d really love this place, is Gem?”

“Oh, yeah, for sure,” Grian agrees. He busies himself with the UV, so he’s not just standing around. “We should take some pictures for her.”

“Oh, good idea!” Giving the tripod a final once-over, Scar wanders over to Grian. “So, any fingering goin’ on, yet?”

Grian nearly drops his glow stick. “Sorry- any what?!” he screeches, whirling around on Scar.

“You know, ghost fingers!” Scar says, perfectly innocent. He holds his hands up, wiggling his fingers in demonstration. “On the- on the glowy light?”

Grian takes a deep breath, face burning. “Oh Scar, buddy, you gotta think through your words better before you say them, alright?”

“Whaaat?” Scar pretends like he doesn’t know. “What, I’m just- you’ve got the stick, you know, little glow stick for when the ghost touches, uh-”

“Nevermind,” Grian groans. “Anyways, no, I haven’t found any ghostly handprints and I never will, because ghosts aren’t real.”

Scar folds his arms. “Well, hey, maybe the ghost is just polite! You know, he- maybe he’s just minding his business, not touching anything or- or anyone. Just because we don’t get anything on UV doesn’t mean ghosts aren’t real, I’ll have you know.”

Grian sees the challenge for what it is. “Alright…” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his spirit box. Holding the transponder to his lips, he belts out, “Where ahhre yewww?” in his best imitation of an over-exaggerated pop-punk accent. If Impulse and Skizz are eavesdropping through their radios, he hopes he gave them a start.

Scar laughs. “Oh man, been a while since I heard that one! You-”

I’m close.

Grian jumps so badly he nearly drops the box, his wings puffing out involuntarily. “What?! Wha- who said that?” he demands, spinning around.

Scar blinks at him. “What? Did you hear something through the box?”

“I- I dunno?” Grian says uncertainly. The box seems to be working as normal; when he holds the receiver down, there’s a faint hiss of static, and the bulb remains white. No further noises come from the speaker.

After a couple seconds of tense listening, Grian feels silly. Way to play it cool. He switches the box off with an exasperated sigh. “No, of course I didn’t hear anything through the box. Like I said, ghosts aren’t real.”

Scar hums noncommittally. “Oh, Grian... you know, there are some things in the world that can’t be explained.” 

Grian snorts. “Oh, yeah? Well, I- I got a few explanations for ya.” He counts on his fingers. “It could’ve been this old house creaking in the wind, or an electrical surge causing feedback through the transponder, or- or, not to mention, Impulse and Skizz pranking us through the radio?”

Scar snickers. “That does sound like something they’d do, I’ll give you that.”

“Yeah.” Grian slips the box back into his pocket. “And y’know, being in a creepy abandoned house, after dark, out in the middle’a nowhere... it’s easy to think you’re hearin’ things.”

Scar rolls his eyes, but his expression is fond. “I know, I know, so you’ve told me. But one of these days, mister, you’re gonna eat your words.”

“Right,” Grian drawls. “I’m so scared…”

The front door slams shut.

That makes Grian pause. They always leave the front door open while out on a job. It saves time when they have to go back and forth from the van, and saves battery life on their radios when they can just shout to each other through the open doorway. Obviously this job is a little different, because Impulse and Skizz have clearly got it in their heads to try and get him and Scar together, but he wouldn’t think they’d go so far as to-

The lights suddenly flicker and go out. But in the split-second before they do, Grian sees a shadowy figure silhouetted against the door.

Pure instinct takes over. Grian spins on his heel, grabs Scar by the arm, and absolutely flies down the stairs to the basement. He knows they’ve disturbed one or two piles of salt but right now, he can’t bring himself to care. His wings are bumping against the walls and he’s certainly never tried carrying someone as big as Scar before but he doesn’t stop, doesn’t even process the ache of it rattling through his body. He bursts into the basement, feathers flying, and careens towards the back of the room, around a tall shelving unit, and into the corner.

There’s a heap of boxes stacked up in this corner; Grian unceremoniously shoves Scar over top of them, dropping him in the narrow space between the boxes and the wall. He’s wedged in as far as he can himself, laying across the boxes, his double pair of wings preventing him from squeezing in beside Scar. He’s still got the UV light clenched in his fist, he realizes belatedly- he braces his forearms against the wall to try and cover it, fanning his wings out behind him to block it out from the rest of the room. Glancing back over his shoulder, he tries to gauge how much light is getting through when a noise makes him freeze.

Footsteps.

They’re soft and light- certainly not the heavy boots of Impulse or Skizz. No, they sound almost barefoot. And as they gently tap down the stairs, the sound of giggling fills the air. It’s a feminine voice. Young, like a child. Like a little ghostie girl is prancing down the stairs to murder them.

Grian thinks he might pass out. Can ghosts actually kill people? How would they do it if they’re incorporeal? He’s never considered the question before, he never thought he’d have to because it’s ridiculous, ghosts aren’t real, of course they can’t kill people-

The footsteps stop. 

Grian isn’t sure if he’s still breathing. He doesn’t dare move. A chill runs up his spine, making every single feather stand on end. He can almost hear the high-pitched violins that would be playing right now if this were a horror movie; the cheesy, overdrawn kind of horror movies that are always playing at the drive-in that the four of them watch while piled into the back of the van in a tangle of limbs and spilled popcorn and oh god he’s spiraling now because he’s about to be killed by a ghost-

Bye-bye!

The chill recedes. Somewhere in his peripheral vision, he sees the faint glow of light from upstairs return.

It’s over.

Grian’s mind is spinning. What was that? What was that? It seems impossible, it doesn’t even feel real to be in this situation right now but he is, there was a ghost, there was a ghost. It feels insane to even think it. But the residual adrenaline coursing through his body reminds him it was very real, he just encountered a ghost.

A ghost! Oh, after three years of very loudly decrying the entire concept as rubbish. He can’t believe it. He really can’t believe it, this is the absolute last thing he expected to happen tonight. Ghosts are real. Ghosts are really, really, real. He doesn’t know what to do, who would ever believe him? Is this how the others have been feeling this whole time? God, he can’t believe this-

“G...?” Scar’s voice pipes up hesitantly. “What... what are we doing?”

Oh, right. Grian glances down at Scar- and his heart jolts. He’d been so focused on getting away from the ghost, he’d acted without thinking, so only now does he realize the... predicament he’s put them in.

Scar’s slumped against the floor beneath him, head tucked just below Grian’s arms. His long legs are still draped over the box that Grian’s laying across, resting on either side of his waist. And due to the odd posture Grian’s in, his chest has been thrust rather close to Scar’s face, lit by the soft purple glow of the UV.

This is probably the closest Grian has ever been to sitting in Scar’s lap.

Grian’s not proud of the yelp that escapes him. “Sorry, sorry!” His wings flail as he struggles to push himself off of the wall, stumbling back onto his feet. It’s clumsy and uncoordinated and he nearly falls backwards, his heart pounding.

Scar manages a laugh, easing himself up off the floor. “No, no, it’s okay, I- I just... what- why’d you bring us down here?” he asks, dusting off his jumpsuit.

Grian catches his breath. “Wait, you... didn’t hear the creepy ghost on its way to kill us?” he asks, frowning.

Scar‘s eyes widen. “What? There was a ghost?”

No way.

“Are you-!” Grian throws his arms up. “Honestly, I- I know avians have better hearing than most but that’s insane. She was laughing! Laughing and skipping down the blumin’ steps! And you didn’t hear any of it?”

“No…?” Scar shrugs helplessly. “I’m sorry, okay! I- I don’t know, I was- a lot was happening, you- you’re grabbin’ me, pulling me down the stairs and into this little corner, I didn’t know what was going on! I didn’t know, I- I was all disconbodulated- disco- bobo, bobumated? I was a little distracted, okay. Jeeze, give a man a break…”

“Distracted?” Grian repeats incredulously. “You’re the one who actually believes in ghosts, here, how could you get distracted? What do you…”

He trails off. Scar is very clearly fighting to avoid looking at Grian, but for the briefest moment, his eyes dart down to Grian’s chest. Suddenly confused, Grian follows his gaze, and-

Oh, for goodness sakes. At some point during his frantic flight, the stupid zipper on his stupid jumpsuit came down again, exposing a frankly scandalous amount of skin. Not Scar-level of scandalous, but pretty close.

Grian immediately feels himself turn red. “Oh. Uh- right,” he hastily pulls the zipper back up, “sorry ‘bout that…”

Wait. Wait just a second. 

Scar was distracted from a literal ghost hunt going on... because Grian’s bare chest was showing? Does that... does that mean he liked it? 

Scar’s avoiding his gaze again. His cheeks are tinted pink.

“Scar...?” Grian ventures carefully. “Were you... lookin’ at my chest?”

Scar’s cheeks darken. “Ah, I- I- don’t- I mean, why would you- I didn’t mean to, it’s just...” He fumbles for the words. “What- what am I- hey, your pecs were basically in my face! I wasn’t trying to look, I- I just-”

“Scar,” Grian says, keeping his voice light and teasing, “did ya… did you like what you saw?”

Scar splutters for a moment. “Well, sure, Grian,” he tries to laugh it off, “I mean, anyone- anyone with eyes can see you’re uh, you know, you’re- you’re pretty attractive. I- I’m secure enough to say it, I don’t care, it’s- sure, of course, you’re very muscular! You’re a- you’re a muscular man, it’s just not always obvious with the sweaters you wear. Or- sorry, you call them jumpers in Britain land, right, they’re jumpers-”

“You been checkin’ me out, Scar?” Grian asks, caught somewhere between playfulness and utter disbelief.

“Uh...” Scar rubs the back of his neck. He exhales slowly, clearly debating with himself. “I... maybe? What... what would you say... if that were the case?”

Grian swallows. His heart is absolutely racing now, and he’s broken into a cold sweat that’s definitely not supernatural in origin. The air between them feels fragile; he’s acutely aware that a single word from him could swiftly plunge them back into the realm of safe familiarity, of casual light-hearted teasing between friends. Scar’s always said things that bordered on the flirtatious, and Grian can hide behind the plausible deniability of teasing. This entire interaction doesn’t have to mean anything. It can be easily moved past and forgotten.

And yet, strangely enough… Grian doesn’t want it to. Maybe it’s the post-haunting adrenaline or the fact that he could’ve died tonight, but all of a sudden, he feels like taking a chance. Like he could finally say what he’s wanted to say for the last three years. He managed to hold his own against a blumin’ ghost, for goodness sakes- he should be able to face his own feelings head on.

He takes a breath. “I’d say that’s a relief… ‘cause I’ve been checkin’ you out since day one of first year.”

Scar stares at him for a long moment. His expression is utterly unreadable. The silence draws on long enough that Grian feels a spike of panic, worried that maybe he’s mishandled the situation-

 “... oh my god,” Scar says finally. “Really?”

It sounds like the good kind of surprise. Grian offers a shy smile. “Yeah, yeah,” he admits. “I- Scar, I know I’m real good at playin’ these things close to the vest, but uh, I- I’ve had a massive crush on you since... basically since the day we met.”

“Huh.” Scar blinks. “You’re serious. You- you’re not pranking me right now?”

That startles a laugh out of Grian. “No! Scar, I don’t- we just survived being hunted by a ghost, I’m not pranking you!”

“Well, that’s- that’s amazing!” A grin spreads across Scar’s face- and man, oh man, does he have just the most wonderful smile. “Oh my gosh, G, I don’t- you don’t even know how long I’ve been waiting for this.”

The relief is almost overwhelming. “Yeah, me too!” Grian laughs, half-dazed and half-giddy, running a hand through his hair. “I- I even- look, the whole reason I even joined this group was as an excuse to hang out with you!”

Scar’s mouth falls open. “No way! That’s- that’s the whole reason I joined in the first place, too!”

Now it’s Grian’s turn to gawk. “Are you joking?”

“I’m not!” Scar insists, “I swear, I’m not- Impulse said he wanted to start the group and maybe we’d all join and get to hang out and I thought ‘hey, ghosts are cool and Grian is cool’ so I just-”

“Oh, I can’t believe this…” Grian groans, hiding his burning face in his hands. “We really are idiots, we’ve wasted nearly three years…”

Scar’s hands close around Grian’s wrists, lightly pulling them down from his face. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time,” he says smoothly, leaning in.

Corny, but Grian will allow it. He closes the gap, tilting his head up to meet Scar’s lips.

In that moment, everything else fades away. All the nervousness, all the second-guessing, even the bombshell discovery of the existence of ghosts- there could be one standing in front of them right now and Grian wouldn’t care. The way Scar gathers Grian in his arms, hands gently roving through his feathers- it’s bliss. It’s perfect.

Scar kisses him strong and purposefully, with no trace of carelessness or haste. He doesn’t rush. There’s intent written into every single movement, jaw working to deepen the kiss. Grian curls against him, hands splayed across Scar’s chest. He can feel Scar’s heart pounding through his flushed skin, and it’s wildly exciting- to think Scar is just as breathless as he is. 

Growing bold, Grian dares to slip his tongue into Scar’s mouth, and the noise he makes- part surprise, part delight- sends pure electricity fizzling up his spine. His mind is starting to drift away from him, lost in the sensation of weightlessness, of floating, that almost makes him feel like he’s gone completely incorporeal- like his own spirit has become untethered from the mortal coil.

Then Skizz’s voice comes down the stairs.

“G-Sharp! Scarface! You down here? We just saw a freaking ghost on the cams, and- oh my god!”

Grian breaks away from Scar, but not quick enough. He turns to see Skizz and Impulse standing at the bottom of the stairs, expressions shocked. And then, as if they’d rehearsed it, they both break into massive shit-eating grins and spin around to high-five each other.

“Woo!” Impulse cheers. “We got ‘em! Ladies and gentlemen, we finally got them.”

“Yeah, baby!” Skizz pumps his fist in the air. “Oh, I love it!”

“Oh, would you two stop it?” Grian huffs, but he’s not really cross. Hard to be cross when he’s on cloud nine. “The ghost did most of the work, alright?”

“That’s right,” Scar sniffs, winding an arm around Grian’s waist. “You know, I- I’m startin’ to think you all were in cahoots! Cahoots, I say!”

“Dude, if only,” Skizz laughs, walking over to clap them on the shoulders. “Could not have planned it better, that’s amazing. Well done, gentlemen!”

“Yeah, it’s about time!” Impulse adds, crossing his arms. “I was starting to think we’d graduate before either of you fessed up, I- I had to take drastic measures…”

“Impulse,” Grian says warningly, “if you’re about to tell me you started this whole paranormal investigation group just as a way to push me and Scar into confronting our feelings, I swear-”

“No, no,” Impulse assures him, chuckling. “I really do like the ghost-hunting deal, don’t worry. But uh, we did deliberately ditch you guys in the hopes that something would happen.”

Scar waggles his eyebrows. “Oh, things happened, alright.”

“Scar!” Grian swats at him, but he’s laughing and it feels good. It feels right. After all this time spent worrying about worst-case scenarios, about denying his feelings for the sake of maintaining the comfortable mundanity of his comfortable life, it turns out the scariest part was the fear itself.

The irony doesn’t escape his notice. A bit on the nose, if he’s honest.

“But in even bigger news,” Impulse graciously continues, “you saw the ghost? And you believed it? You, Mr. Non-Believer in all things ghostly?”

Grian sighs. “Yeah, yeah, I know…”

“This is incredible!” Skizz claps his hands together. “Okay, okay, we gotta go cleanse the area and I wanna hear everything, got it? Don’t leave a single detail out!”

Grian slips his hand into Scar’s as they follow Impulse and Skizz back up the stairs. “Yeah, alright,” he relents. He supposes he’s due for a lot of ‘I told you so’s’. But really, it’s a small price to pay for the life-altering knowledge that ghosts are real… and for finally finding the courage to believe in something extraordinary.

Scar hums. “Wait, details about the ghost or about the kissing?”

“Scar!”

~*~

#hermitcraft #hermitshipping #scarian #my writing #listen i am only a casual phasmo enjoyer and idk anything about architecture school pls don't come for me abt any inaccuracies #just here for a good gay spooky time #wanted to see if i'd be any good at writing commissions (ie. solely based off someone else's idea) and i had FUN #but it's always easy to be inspired by mel <3

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 10

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

something borrowed by @rosyredlipstick

In the Solace Wedding Planning agenda, on the fifth page into their summer schedule, there are carefully scrawled out notes reading this: Bride and Groom - Hazel Levesque & Frank Zhang Best Man & Maid of Honor - Percy Jackson & Piper McLean Wedding Court - Annabeth Chase & Jason Grace Mellie & Gleeson Hedge Reyna Ramírez-Arellano & Leo Valdez Ring-bearer - Chuck Hedge Flower-boy - Nico di Angelo - Will plans wedding and now, apparently, Nico stars in one. Except...sometimes there's a bit more confusion on that last part. AKA the AU where Will plans weddings and thinks Hazel and Frank are going to have to cutest, gap-toothed ten year throwing flowers down the aisle, all while wondering why this 'Neeks' guy is always hanging around, and what business he has looking that good.

yes i am back on my rosyredlipstick (dude she's GOOD okay). however this one is my favourite i think. this is the kinda story you could use to explain to people what dramatic irony is bc LORD i wanted to SHAKE THEM 😭😭 will falling like deeply in love with nico and being intensely stressed about everything the whole time is so real and on brand. i love him and i love the fond exasperation that just bleeds from this fic its GREAT

2. Rental Love by @rosyredlipstick

*Read Terms & Conditions - Male/22/Long Island N.Y.C. Tired of showing up stag at holiday events? Want your family to stop thinking there’s something wrong with you? Just want some arm candy for a work event? Look no further. Your solution is here! I will attend holiday events with you as your paid date. Accepting all genders as applicants. Email [email protected] if interested. Interview & application will be set up there. - Nico di Angelo has been telling Hazel Levesque about his boyfriend for weeks. The bad part? Nico doesn’t have a boyfriend, the holidays are coming up, and not all of Jason’s ideas are horrible. They’re all a bit surprised about the last one.

THE LEVEL OF STUPID THAT THEY ARE...😭😭 kills me fr. like this whole fic is just a manifestation of truly one of the best tropes of all time…..like what if we took a hallmark movie and made it gay as all hell. iconique indeed

3. A Match in the Making by @coconutcranberries-blog

“You’re a morning person,” Nico muttered, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. He ran a hand through his black hair, which stuck up in disarray, the same way it did every morning. He was a mess, and Will Solace looked annoyingly put together, and Nico didn’t even care, really, he didn’t.

friendship is the core of romance!! it is!! every time!!! and it's such a core in this fic....which is fucking??? ten years old??? im just realising?? jesus christ??? anyways. "Nico had the sudden, warm feeling that Will Solace had never bought his act." i YELLED

4. Perception by scorchedtrees

In which everyone thinks Nico and Will are together.

i love this trope i love it SO BAD. both ways. when your love is so obvious that no one misses it.....love to see it truly. and will can have one second of beingn smooth and not a dweeby loser. as a treat

5. the world is brighter than the sun now that you're here by @finalizer

It was hard, Nico eventually concluded, to maintain one’s air of spooky otherworldly detachment with a blinding ray of sunshine trailing one step behind him every minute of every day.

grouchy nico my beloved truly. honestly hes such a bitch i love him like "Seriously, give the guy a perm and a few cats and he’d be that weird aunt that everybody avoided around the holiday season." why does he ALWAYS have something vile to say 😭😭 hes a mood fr

thank you for joining me this saturday friday!! happy reading!!

#look im on time in like. alberta #so #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #heroes of olympus #hoo #pjo hoo toa #nico di angelo #will solace #nico di angelo/will solace #solangelo #nico/will #will/nico #pining nico di angelo #pining will solace #whipped nico di angelo #nico di angelo & hazel levesque #fic rec #fic rec friday #FRF #longpost

[novelconcepts]

Another year, another absurd amount of books read (296, because if I wasn't reading or writing this year, my brain was on fire). I was asked again for my top books of the year, so here we go: 2023's top 10, in no particular order.

This was the first book I read of the year--literally, vacated the hangout with my wife and sibling-in-laws to sit on their couch upstairs and eat through it. Do you love The Fall of the House of Usher, but wish for a nonbinary protagonist and a lot more mushrooms? This is the book for you! (T. Kingfisher is fucking rad, I made a concerted effort to only list ONE of her books on here, but honorable mention goes to The Twisted Ones for fucking me upppp.)

A gay, post-apocolyptic Pinocchio retelling involving copious robots, found family elements, and a cool-ass treehouse. Klune always hits for me with his unrepentant queer family dynamics and sense of humor. Honorable mention to the first two in the Green Creek series (although that's got a lot more...adult elements in among the werewolves, you've been warned).

I thiiiink I found this through The Homo Schedule podcast (PSA: if you missed out on Jasmin Savoy Brown and Liv Hewson doing a podcast together, now you know better), and it wrecked my shit. Tons of trigger warnings, as this is a memoir about abuse within a queer relationship, but it's so beautifully written. I personally suggest listening to the audiobook first, then standing anxiously behind someone at a book warehouse sale, hoping they'll set down the only paperback copy so you can swipe it.

A fantastical-historical reimagining in which the KKK is filled with literal monsters, and Black women are resistance fighters armed to take them out. Visceral and intense, and truly an excellent horror story.

Just. Such a soft time travel story about a daughter and her father and cherishing the time you get with loved ones. I was thoroughly unprepared for how lovely I found this one. It's very kind.

Spooky house, take-no-shit redhead, protective sibling elements, bisexual recluse with a sword who really just needs a nap. I haven't found a Harrow book yet I haven't slapped five stars on. She's so good at character and atmosphere, and I'm always surprised at how fast her stories race by.

The whole Daevabad trilogy (of which this is the first book) is just magical. A girl from the mortal world finds herself embroiled with the centuries-long prejudices and wars of djinn in a fantastical city. It's one of the rare stories of its kind that does have a love triangle, but doesn't feel like a love triangle; it's far less interested in the insufferable "who gets picked" than it is in the actual horrors these people are both perpetrating and coping with. It's an intoxicating ride.

Fuck You, TERFS: the book. Given that fact, there's obviously quite a lot of transphobia to deal with, but it's very clear that those people are wrong, and it's a super-engaging (and super-oh-god-what-comes-next) witchy time populated with queer, protective, interesting characters I'm excited to see again in the follow-up.

Have you ever wanted a haunted house story with visceral imagery and a rather lovely twist? Gailey has you covered. As much as I enjoyed The Echo Wife, I think I actually loved this one more, and it makes me so excited to see what else they've got up their sleeve.

One of my final reads for the year, when I was just churning through hardcovers at the speed of sound. I love this book. I recognize it won't be for everyone, but it takes so much of what I love about IT (one of my all-time favorite books, despite its flaws) and twists it through the lens of an author who escaped the Mormon church. It's horrific, it's fantastically abstract in places, it explores childhood and memory, imagination and abuse, and almost every character is queer. It's a great "I simply cannot sleep until I've finished" read.

#long post #book recs #t kingfisher #tj klune #carmen maria machado #p djeli clark #emma straub #alix e harrow #s.a. chakraborty #juno dawson #sarah gailey #kiersten white #plenty of others could go on this list as well but i figured i'd keep it to ten this time around #still can't believe i read just shy of 300 books in a year #bonus shoutout to the animorphs series all of which is out on audiobook now (the main books anyway) #and which honestly really do hold up well

[rrcenic]

good omens as things my family/friends have said

(im paraphrasing here i don’t remember em perfectly)

aziraphale: i need more bookshelves crowley: what about your old ones? aziraphale: all my old ones are full! crowley: …maybe you need less books? aziraphale: … crowley: yeah, that was a dumb question. sorry

crowley: my desire to be dominated by a blond man is beyond your comprehension

aziraphale: i have ten copies of this book! maggie: why? aziraphale: i liked it so much that every time i met someone who i thought would like it, i’d make them take the copy aziraphale: one day crowley just snapped and bought me ten so i’d stop complaining about not having it around

aziraphale: i judge restaurants based on how good their crem brûlée is crowley: this is why we can never go back to applebees nina: applebees doesn’t serve crem brûlée aziraphale: i know! that’s the point!

muriel: i love having a job but i’m always worried. what if the shop burns down while i take my lunch break?! i don’t know how responsibly works!

jim: apparently, there’s a hammer head shark named harvey that lives in the waters, and there’s been shark attacks beelzebub: cool! what’s his kill count? aziraphale: my goodness, you can’t say something like that! crowley: yeah, but what is his kill count? jim: i wish i knew :c

crowley: why the hell is youtube giving me ads for chick-fil-a?? i’m gay and i live in a place with no chick-fil-a’s!

aziraphale: i don’t know… i just get a little spooked by the idea of cadavers… crowley: oOoH… mOdErN mEdIcInE… sPoOky…

*playing heads up, the prompt is “angel”* muriel: what aziraphale is! crowley: breaker of hearts! muriel: …no??

crowley: beeeeelzebub, shax is using hyperbole againnnn! shax: my lord, the traitor is using big confusing words againnnnnn!

jim: my axolotl drawing is transgender! crowley: you can’t say something is transgender just because you drew a skirt on it beelzebub: im sorry, are you denying the axolotl the validity of its trans-ness???

shax: you’ve injured my viral organs! crowley: …did you just say “viral organs”???

metatron: you’re weird and not funny aziraphale: i’m sorry!! i just talk to myself in silly voices when i’m bored!!!

jim: ooh, this is where we had our honeymoon!! aziraphale: you’ve never told us about your honeymoon before! beelzebub: we had lots of fun, if you know what i mean ;) crowley: please stop talking now

#good omens incorrect quotes #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #good omens #gos2 #nics stuff

[kindalikerackham]

The Black Sails Drama Highlights™️

Like, what the fuck happened over there?

Lucky for you, I was there on the ground floor (even sent in some propaganda that elicited a truly baffling response from the poll runner) because I'm a nut for goofy little tumblr polls and a nut for best little lesser-known-tv-show Black Sails.

Alright, so. @/pirate-battle (from here on out referred to as OP -- the Original Pollster) was running, as one might expect, a pirate bracket. At first glance, it wasn't explicitly presented what the criteria were, so people voted on their preference, often moving along pirate icons (Hook from Muppet Treasure Island)/characters from active fandoms (TAZ), etc etc you know the drill. (Although they later clarified they were looking for favorites, not the "best pirate.")

OP's first mistake, I think, was the assumption that a silly goofy little tumblr competition about characters archetypically ungovernable would remain silly goofy and with minimal strong language.

But this wouldn't become visible until they made their second mistake, creating a first-round poll between James 'brutually murdered a crewmate in the first episode solely to maintain power for his revenge-quest against England' Flint of Black Sails vs Stede 'notable used tissue' Bonnet of OFMD. They did recognize some of the coming danger even with that post, tagging "#I predict slaughter in the tags"

O Apollo, strike down these children with prophecies that bite them in the a--

Anyway. Predictably, there was slaughter in the tags. Violent language rather typical of the tumblr that I came from (the tumblr of the early 2010s), but seemed to be utterly shocking to some OFMD fans.

Exposition time: It should be noted here that there exists at least two-ish different kinds of users of tags. Those that use them to scream personal thoughts into the void and/or whispers into their mutuals' ears, and those sneaky little fools who will peruse everyone's personal little screams/thoughts to their internet buddies. And original posters are relegated to suffer the yelling/whispers without choice.

So that slaughter, in the tags, those rivers of blood through the whispers of a fervent fanbase of a violent and freeing queer show, did reverberate around other users, regardless of etiquette.

And for some of those very sweet very uwu our flag means gay fans, that was.. very scary. (Must be all those spooky theatrics with the smoke and mirrors).

(....Idk??? Maybe I'm just battle-hardened from superwholock, but saying a tag a la "AHHHHHH I'm going to rip something's head off my BOY BETTER WIN" just doesn't really phase me?? Nor does "#I'm literally going to k/m/s if x wins." Overkill? Yeahhh... But this is tumblr. We invented overkill for the media we like. And again, this was in someone's tags.)

Moving on, as tags of that violent nature starting pulling through, and people started vigorously defending black sails as a franchise over ofmd, myself and others sent in some propaganda of my own, urging OFMD fans to really understand that Black Sails is mostly incomparable to OFMD and... Black Sails is just kinda better. Cuts deeper. Genre difference at work here.

Soapbox Side Note: Black Sails can actually be kind of game changing, especially for a show that came out in 2014. There's so much to say about it but it's hard to talk about without spoiling. I might add a link to a good 'things to know' post if you're looking to get into it.

Anyway. OP was starting to lose it.

Like, I really just don't think they had mentally prepared for how truly feral Black Sails folks were/are about that show, and how they were willing to get all HRRRRRRR CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP about it.

Additionally... OP was white, and they were super duper unprepared to engage with any of the discourse about racism that these shows dig up (They're about pirates, and a lot of pirates engaged in the slave trade. Or had freed slaves on their crew. Some even owned slaves themselves. It was complicated and pirates are typically a white fantasy vehicle and anyway I'm getting off-track--)

OP started to really fan the flames with more and more visibly emotional responses

They said "it's not a competition" between the two shows, despite it... being a literal competition...

They called people out for "gatekeeping," but didn't really define what it meant in the context of saying one gay pirate show was way better than the other.

They told Black Sails fans not to express negative feelings towards OFMD on the internet (because good representation is the god us internet queers pray to, and we wouldn't want some network exec to say "oh those mean people on the internet, better not renew the popular pirate romcom" obvi)

After some more of this, they then threatened to overturn the results of the poll entirely and remove Flint from the poll wholesale, despite the fact that he had won. (Which is hilarious if you know anything about Flint in Black Sails. He's literally That Guy That Makes People Break Democracy Attempting To Unseat Him).

Finally, after a day of trying to ignore the fact that they'd become a meme within black sails circles (one post even screenshotted then with "new copypasta just dropped" yikes), they threw in the towel. And bless them, I do think they needed the break. They were kind of going through it.

In conclusion,

The Black Sails fans pulled what I might even daresay to be,, , a fuckery "of censorship and fear",, over OFMD fans and some poor unprepared poll runner who had no skin in the game, while using only strong language and some mild mean-spirited memes (95% of which in their own tags and posts).

#black sails #poll drama #pirate drama

[gointothevvater]

Dethklok's favorite movies 🖤

I'm sure this has been done before, but I wanted to take a stab at it! Here we go!

Nathan: You'd expect his favorite movie to be a horror movie, but his favorite is Jaws. It's kinda horror, right? It's brutal. People get eaten by sharks. It kinda reminds him of the beach vacations he went on with his family when he was a kid. He also really loves the shots from the shark's POV, just cruising through the water while ominous music plays.

Pickles: Videodrome. It's weird and horny and gory and just an all-around good time. He has a thing for 80s body horror in general, but Videodrome is his go-to. The problem, if you consider it a problem, is that he's always high as a kite when he watches it, so he never remembers what's gonna happen next.

Skwisgaar: I can't see him being much of a movie guy, but Midsommar. He likes the trippy vibe and also that it takes place in his home country, though he has no personal experience with cults. He also likes that it's creepy and weird, but not flat-out scary, which is comforting for him. I bet, on the occasions when he wants to watch a movie, he'd go for "elevated horror."

Murderface: Fight Club. He comes away with that weird white boy take where it's peak masculinity and is somehow blind to the fact that it's super fucking gay.

Toki: The Witches. It's spooky, but it's whimsical. Unless he's in a dark mood, then he's watching some Rob Zombie schlock.

Charles: He likes all Sean Connery's 007 movies, but especially Goldfinger. Little Charlie wanted to be a spy, and this particular version of James Bond really influenced him. He sees the flaws in them as an adult, but they're super nostalgic for him!

Bonus:

St. Cecilia: Breakfast At Tiffany's! She sees so much of herself in Holly, and she's spent her life looking for a happy ending like hers. Also she just loves the classy aesthetic!

Feel free to add your OCs! I'd love to know their favorite movies!

#metalocalypse #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #dethklok #skwisgaar skwigelf #william murderface #toki wartooth #st. cecilia jameson #my mtl

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fics Friday: February 2/24

It's Finally the First Friday in February, and that means it's Five Fics Friday! I hope you enjoy the fics I've chosen for y'all this week! And please give the boosted fic some love! <3 Enjoy!

SIGNAL BOOSTING

Talk down your DNA by avalanching effect (T, 5,384 w., 1 Ch. || Supernatural Elements AU || Witches, Cannibalism, POV John, Spooky, Death, Suicide Attempt) – When him and Harry are 11, their parents take them to an abandoned sawmill for their birthday, and leave them to their own devices. After they learn how to turn it on, Harry pushes him in. Part 1 of Not dead, not alive, but a secret third thing

RECENT MFLs

The Murder of Sir Emory J. Amat by ChrisCalledMeSweetie (T, 14,364+ w., 5/27 Ch. || WiP || Murder of Roger Ackroyd Fusion / 1925 AU || Surprise Ending, Case Fic, POV First Person John) – A Sherlock Holmes mystery, as recounted by Dr. John H. Watson. Can you follow the clues to deduce whodunnit?

Hand In Hand by LipstickDaddy(G, 2,847+ w., 3/? Ch. || WiP || Nail Salon AU || Fluff, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending) – John Watson is home from Afghanistan, and he hasn’t felt entirely himself, entirely human, for weeks. He bumps into Stamford, and John makes an offhand comment about his friend’s “soft academic’s hands.” Stamford slips him the address of a nail shop near Bart’s, and John wonders if something as simple as a manicure might actually help him. Turns out, it’s the best impulse decision he’d ever make.

Maybe We Could Change His Mind by thalialunacy (E, 23,049 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Romance, Banter, Schmoop, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Matchmaker Irene, Late-Life Coming Out, Queer Issues, Queer Friendship, Conversion Therapy Discussion, Texting, Anal / Oral Sex, Parental Sherlock) – John now knows that Irene and Sherlock have been corresponding through burner phones and WhatsApp for years. What he doesn't know is that the 'Oo you're shiny and smart!' hormones wore off long ago, and now they're simply gay besties chatting about life, fashion, and, of course, John. But John doesn't know that, so when Irene appears in their life again just as they get called into a very personal case, he feels the sand start to shift beneath his feet and has no idea why. Luckily, Sherlock will always do what it takes to ensure John gets to solid ground, no matter the cost.

RECENTLY BOOKMARKED LOKIUS FIC

we can stay here (& laugh away the fear) by unintentionallyangsty (T, 11,100 w., 1 Ch. || LOKI SERIES || Lokius, Canon Divergence, TVA Shenanigans, Attention Seeking Behaviour, Praise Kink, Touch Starvation, Pet Names, Angsty Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Shyness, Awkward Flirting, Crying, Misunderstandings, Cuddling/Snuggling, Blushing, Depression Mention) – Loki is bad with people and relationships, and tends to assume the worst of every intention and interaction because it's easier in the long-run. Mobius is good with Loki. (Or, two times Loki is spooked off by Mobius' unexpected gentleness and familiarity, and one (1) time the opposite is true).

#my fic recs #five fics friday #johnlock fic recs #lokius fic recs

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading updates: september 2023

AHOY EVERYBODY!!! the end of the month has really crept up on me and lo, I have no finished as many books as I thought I would by this point! but so it goes.

also I'm fighting for my life trying to get through all of the library books I have checked out, which is a bummer because there are a bunch of creepy books I want to start reading for Spooky Month! but time is an illusion and I've already made my peace with Spooky Month extending into November, so whatever happens happens, babey! but that's the future, right now we need to talk about what I've been reading for the past month.

A View from the Bottom: Asian American Masculinity and Sexual Representation (Nguyen Tan Hoang, 2014) - Nguyen's dissertation is a really fascinating piece of queer scholarship, which gets deep (pun somewhat intended) into forms of media often overlooked by academia - gay porn, softcore art films, gay indie documentaries - in search of a new understanding of Asian masculinity and bottomhood. I really like Nguyen's thoughtful study of bottoming, effeminacy, and sexual abjection, all of which he's pretty in favor of, balanced with analyses of the factors of race, class, nationality, and citizenship that complicate how gay Asian men are perceived. it's wide-ranging, it's meticulous, it's kind of hot? I love you, queers in academia.

"You Just Need to Lose Weight" and 19 Other Myths About Fat People (Aubrey Gordon, 2023) - god, okay, listen: this book was a little dry TO ME but ONLY BECAUSE I have already spent years listening to Aubrey Gordon discuss all 19 of these myths and a bunch of other shit on her excellent podcast, Maintenance Phase. if you don't listen to Maintenance Phase either start doing that or read this book! which is extremely well-researched and great for debunking pretty much every "justification" a person might off to try and make their fatphobia sound reasonable. frankly if I could load up copies of YJNTLW into, like, a t-shirt gun to just have on standby to fire at people, I would do that.

Sorry, Bro (Taleen Voskuni, 2023) - yeah you all already know about this book, which is the one in which a 27 year old brings the narrative to a screeching halt to assure the readers that it's okay for her to hook up with a 31 year old woman because despite the so-called age gap both of their brains are fully-cooked. that's not actually the worst part of this book; the worst part is that the prose is unpolished in the extreme and the main character is kind of a dumb asshole. cannot say I recommend it, no matter how desperate you may be for bisexual Armenian representation.

Brown and Gay in LA: The Lives of Immigrant Sons (Anthony Christian Ocampo, 2022) - I really like the way Ocampo writes his nonfiction, which is very chatty and extremely accessible (if a little prone to editorializing). I love seeing sociologists writing from the community the community they live in, and these interviews come from second generation queer Latino and Filipino men frequenting the same LA clubs and coffee shops as the gay second gen Filipino author. it kills the presumed spectator that a lot of writing on marginalized communities can fall victim to; here, it's not that brown gay men need to be explained, but rather outsiders who need to make the effort to keep up with their lives. I especially appreciated Ocampo's highlighting the disparity between Latino and Filipino men's experiences in education, where very different sets of racial stereotypes impact their ability to succeed in white-dominated school systems; if you're curious about why Latino and Filipino men are categorized together at all in this study I strongly recommend Ocampo's other book, the Latinos of Asia.

The Vanishing Half (Brit Bennett, 2020) - it's always kind of astonishing when something that was extremely hyped-up and buzzy turns out to actually be as good as all that, and the Vanishing Half really was that good. the premise of two light-skinned Black twins separating so that one can "pass over" and live her life as a white woman is compelling all on its own, but Bennett is so committed to every possible angle of this premise: what does it mean to live more than one life? what other ways are people more than one person? it shows up everywhere through this novel: in losing your twin, in transing your gender, in drag performances, in actors, in people moving to new towns where no one knows them and becoming someone else. the moment it really hit me that Bennet Got It was a completely innocuous sentence that identified a Korean restaurant owner in California as a man who had attended medical school in Korea - even this background character, who we'll hardly hear from again, has been a different person in a different life! everyone has these layers and layers and different sides of themselves and it's just beautifully executed. mwah. chef's kiss.

#reading updates

[lesbianlotties]

RULES: list 8 tv shows to get to know me better!

tagged by: @natscatorrcio thank u ily <3

tagging: @lottieurl @annieofhearts @femmeetart @bonesandall2015 @akkpipitphattana @hellmo @hellsfireclub @deankarolina (if u want!! no pressure! and anyone else that sees this and wants to share!!)

i took the assignment seriously. to really know these are the shows you need to know

1. the haunting of hill house

2. the haunting of bly manor

3. one day at a time

4. yellowjackets

5. the good place

6. warrior nun

7. penguin town

8. the l word

okay way let me explain

i am so serious about some of these. like. i took it seriously. this isn't even recommendations it's literally the shows you need to understand me. hill house and bly manor are everything to me, spooky emotional gay. odaat is very important, sometimes it's scarily relatable. yellowjackets bc it's taken over my life like few other things ever have. tgp i've actually only watched once but it's my favorite way to explain where i live. warrior nun for me being gay and only vaguely catholic. penguin town bc listen i had to include penguins otherwise it's not me. and the l word i know it's not good but you need to know i don't care about that!! to know me better you need to know that!! i'm not here to watch high quality stuff and that includes facing things that are just a mess!

#i couldn't shut up sorry don't judge me for the last one and actually you should watch penguin town you're welcome #hgsjdfhjghfg #thank you for tagging me!!!

[sporesgalaxy]

Hey sorry kind of weird ask but could you give a list of media you recommend to people? Or just things you like because your taste has been very similar to mine in the past....... And you do cool stuff about that so it's always double good.

If you want obv, it's just that I've finished a serie (that I also checked out because of some of your posts chdjsk)... Idk... You cool 👍

thanks!!! and youre in luck!! i am extremely forgetful so I literally keep a list of Medias I Like and it's been a while since I tried to think of more stuff to add to it! so here you go!

•••

medias that tapped directly into my brain:

sci fi

Spy Kids 1 2 & 3

Invader Zim

Portal 1&2

Danny Phantom

Psychonauts

Wander Over Yonder

Mob Psycho 100

Spider-man: Into the Spiderverse

fantasy

Bionicle: The Mask of Light

Shrek & Shrek 2

Spirited Away

Adventure Time

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

The Book of Life

Loki: Agent of Asgard (comic)

Soul Eater (manga & anime)

Madoka Magica

Paranatural (webcomic)

Dungeon Meshi

Nimona

mystery/suspense/spooky

Gravity Falls

Coraline

Paranorman

JJBA part 4 Diamond is Unbreakable

Hannibal (2013)

Smile for Me

Ace Attorney 1 thru 4

Perfect Blue

Chainsaw Man (manga part 1)

Dorohedoro (manga)

REWROTE my brain permanently

Spore

Atlantis the Lost Empire

Sonic Adventure 2

Sharkboy & Lavagirl

Sonic The Hedgehog 1999 OVA

Undertale

Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions

Princess Tutu

Revolutionary Girl Utena

Midnight Gospel

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Good Omens (book & show)

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Trigun

other extremely powerful stuff I can think of

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

The Stanley Parable

Undertale & Deltarune

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Knives Out

Never Satisfied (webcomic)

honorable mentions

Teen Titans (2003)

Kung Fu Panda

Transformers: Prime

The Owl House

Pokemon Sun

Pokemon Legends Arceus

Thor 1, 2, & Ragnarok

Kingmen 1 & 2

this might look weird or lame but HEAR ME OUT

Ben 10 (2005, 2008, 2010, 2012)

Hoodwinked! (2006)

Ninjago

Thor: Tales of Asgard

Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!

Dan Vs.

Barbie: Life in the Dream House

Beetlejuice broadway musical

Half Life VR but the AI is Self Aware

has issues but HILARIOUS to enjoy with gay friends

Ouran High School Host Club

Code Geass

Bayonetta 1 & 2

#asks

[moonshynecybin]

do you have any books recommendations? 🙏

okay usually i like to know a general vibe for recommendations bc this is INTIMATE!!! and im actually in a weird place in my reading journey where im trying to branch out and try a bunch of different books in a bunch of different genres bc i got lowkey sick of what i was reading all the time so this is all over the place. whatever fuck it. here are some recent ones in no particular order that ive enjoyed OR at the very least found interesting. most of these are pretty famous i'll be real im not breaking the wheel here. under the cut bc she is long

our wives under the sea by julia armfield. was this book good hmm i dont know. was it kind of fucked up and interesting. YES. some of the prose is legitimately sooo gorgeous and the portrait it paints of the central relationship is intimate and oftentimes heartrending i still think about it which is kind of what you want from a story tbh... a really slow plot (kind of nonexistent) thats frankly more about grief than anything. theres some spooky body horror here so beware

slaughterhouse five by kurt vonnegut. shes a classic for a REASON. do you ever pick up a book that is very beloved and famous. and then get genuinely and pleasantly surprised that it actually rules. happened to me. legit kind of life changing and also made me laugh out loud. if you havent read it get on it

the kingdoms by natasha pulley. read this over the summer and i vividly remember sitting in the basement at my job hiding so i could read one more page i was RIVETED!!! its historical fantasy its time travel its amnesia it is. on a boat. basically like what if fucked up gay love and also magic made france win the napoleonic wars would that be crazy or what!!! and it was!! also read some of her other stuff which is VERY similar and it was like. fine to good. but i LOVED this one

carrie by stephen king. read it around halloween and i enjoyed it more than i thought i would ! some category 5 stephen king sexism but its an interesting 200 page scifi novel with epistolary elements and some great characters i can see how it launched his career into the stratosphere... really good one to start off with reading stephen king if you wanna dip a toe in but are wary of the 1000 page doorstop novels. i say give it a try !

demon copperhead by barbara kingsolver. recent pulitzer prize winner. its a retelling of david copperfield with a distinctly southern appalachian lens which im always interested in because i am from southern appalachia and frankly the way we get treated in fiction is wild. like hillbilly cannibals who are illiterate coalminers wild. if i ever catch the guy that wrote hillbilly elegy we are throwing hands. but i liked this ! the region does have a long history of poverty and it was interesting to think about that in conversation to the social commentary with a victorian vibe from david copperfield. i mean this is decidedly unvictorian but that was floating in the back of my head at all times reading it so it made me THINK.

giovanni's room by james baldwin. another one where i was like do you see this shit?? this shit is crazy. and the shit in question is one of the most acclaimed and beloved novels of all time. anyways another life changer get on it.

even as we breathe by annette saunooke clapsaddle. another southern appalachia moment ! this one rings VERY true for me actually, despite being a historical novel... written with a lot of love for the area and made me cry a bit cause i was homesick at the time... great mystery and cool local history. also! one of the better representations of the cherokee people ive seen in fiction. which usually im hesitant to like. pin that as a THE major reason you should read it bc the story is ALSO very good but its a central theme of the novel so i thought i should mention it. plus the author is cherokee so she's coming at it with knowledge and care

in memoriam by alice winn. recommendation from a tumblr mutual so i thought id continue the tradition! read it in literally a day so im fuzzy on the details but its about rich eton style english schoolboys getting their spirits basically destroyed in the trenches of ww1... also a gay love story... lots of poetry very tragic but not overly so and certainly very readable... a competent historical gay romance if thats ur thing youll probably enjoy it

the poppy war by r f kuang. interesting bc it initially feels like a historical fantasy novel with a young protagonist going to a magic school and overcoming the odds slash beating the evil enemy story thats been done one billion times. but it is DEEPLY not that. takes the conventions of the genre and kind of refuses to make them reducible or easy to package. deals with war (read the warnings etc). deals with genocide. deals with race. wrestles with the ethics of all of its characters and comes down with some nuance. kind of a slay

and then here's some all time faves that are just GOOD and im reasonably sure anyone would have a good time with:

jane eyre. i have quoted this enough on this blog cmon. also if youre following me youre probably a fan of fucked up relationships so you should go. be with the OG. fly. like its foundational to the GENRE babyyyy

dracula. yayyyyy epistolary novelssss... another "fun" classic along with dorian gray... read em both they slap

the book thief. took me a year to read. made me cry lots.

daisy jones and the six. look at me look AWAYYY from the amazon series look at ME. this is a fun book. and if you are in a reading slump i frankly HIGHLY recommend it bc it is done in the style of like. a documentary autopsy on a fleetwood mac esque band implosion so its told in 100% dialogue as if they are being interviewed. you can read it in a DAY and its FUN and sometimes they CONTRADICT each other which i LOVE

the queens thief by meghan whalen turner. GOD!!!!! all time. all time. straight relationships in fiction that make you crazyyyyyyy and also genuinely delightful twists at the end of each book i LOVED them. i read them all in the pandemic they slayyyy

howl's moving castle. delightful. if you like a silly time in a fantasy world that makes you laugh a lot i would recommend. also the sequel its fun

any terry pratchet novel thank you goodnight

#rapid fire ones: circe by madeline miller. piranesi by susanna clarke. the underground railroad by colson whitehead. the things they carried #also and i am beign so serious. if you have never read ella enchanted you should. it is fun. #callie speaks #asks #staring down my tbr and waiting for my brain to get better. torture. #next up is house of leaves. lfg. #the tonal whiplash on this list is so funny im realizing. 50% fun fantasy and 50% THE HORRORS OF WAR.

[goldenpinof]

Why do you think dnp’s views have dropped so much lately? Its odd because the fandom is actually relatively alive atm

i'm not really good at analysing such things. not enough data, i guess.

i think the core phandom is alive (although, could be more alive, imo). but not everyone came back, and those who did... i feel like half of them looked at things for a month or two, and left again. we're not even on 2018 level, there's a lack of engagement within the phandom, and i don't think we will ever come back to at least 2018. there were changes made, in dnpg content. and i'm not sure if people like it, or are interested in it. i'm not talking about gay stuff, btw.

also, phandom grew up. it's hard to keep up with so much content. people have job, families, other hobbies. we kinda had to find other hobbies during the hiatus, you know. October-December were fun and, dare i say, nostalgic. spooky week and gamingmas — that's what we knew before the hiatus. there was some interest in "how is it now, 5 years later?" but after that... idk, i have my thoughts on why people aren't watching dnpg videos immediately, or why they are skipping some altogether. but i can't say that what i think is based on something solid. not enough data. and making polls, asking if people watch every video, how long it takes to watch a new video, do they participate in the phandom, etc. — i feel like tumblr isn't the right place because those who are the target audience for these questions aren't actually here 😂

anyway. my main point is. the core phandom is here, casual viewers stopped showing up, youtube algorithm doesn't bring new people at all (unless it's the actual gameplay like Poppy and It Takes Two, or generally popular video topics like TikTok compilations or react videos). dnpg clickbait titles work 50/50. i feel like, even the outsiders know what titles are clickbait and what aren't. to be fucking real with you, i think "Dan and Phil are BROTHERS?" is hilarious. i'd click on the video exactly because it's clickbaity and because i want to hear commentary on that. the lore is so deep, it's fucking exciting. but, do others find it the same as i do? do casual viewers even know? like, if not, then this title is just a game ad. and the video is so poorly edited that returning to it would be painful. speaking of ads. people might be tired of them. and if they see that the video is clearly an ad (Dragon City or Brothers) they don't even click on it. people seem also tired of the sims, which is interesting to me. is it because the wedding is done, so now it's boring? idk.

i'd love to see the stats on the TikTok video. it's so different from everything else. like, it's the least dnpg video ever. it's literally the ap video, but it performed better not only because of the algorithm but also because it's on dnpg. i wonder if it made anyone subscribe to dnpg. every time i go to the channel, i see this video and i'm like, "wow! you really are here, with almost 500k views, something that even 2024 sims videos can't get. good for you, mf."

#i wonder if people find dnpg videos boring. like genuinely there's nothing new these 2 can give us #and unless it's a gameplay it's not very exciting? idk. also the editing sucks ass. but that's MY reasoning for skipping some videos #answered #dnpgames #youtube

[lexiklecksi]

Incorrect quotes (tag game)

I need an excuse to post my favourite incorrect quotes from the incorrect quotes generator so I’m tagging my writer friends @aquadestinyswriting @the-down-upside-finch @charlies-storybook @basalamander-corner @betweenthetimeandsound @hippiewrites to give you the same excuse! (nsfw warning for some quotes in the *** line) Have fun reading these unhinged dialogues that my characters could say!

Enya: This bloodline ends with me.

Meara: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

***

Enya: Talib, we tried things your way.

Talib: No, we didn't.

Enya: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

***

Talib: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?

Enya: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

***

Meara: Can you cut me some slack, Enya? I’m sort of in love.

Enya: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Meara: I’m in love with you.

Enya: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

***

Enya: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Meara!

Meara: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

***

Talib: Go fuck yourself.

Hadwin, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

***

Talib: Well, Hadwin and I finally did it!

**The rest of the squad:** *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Talib: That's right... We kissed!

***

Meara: Mira spat in Neruda’s ear today when they were sitting on the couch together.

Kairi: ...What?! Why?!

Meara, shrugging: You tell me.

***

Kairi: How do Nerida and Mira usually get out of these messes?

Meara: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

***

Saoirse: Okay, what does A stand for?

Enya: Arson.

Saoirse: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?

Enya: Barson.

Esmeralda: *laughter*

Saoirse: What stands for C?

Enya: Commit arson.

Esmeralda: Oooo.

Saoirse: D!

Enya: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.

Esmeralda: *more laughter*

***

Meara: If you water water, it grows.

Kairi: ...What.

Quasim: They've got a point.

*** nsfw warning

Nerida: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Nalu: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

*** nsfw warning

Nerida: I feel like doing something stupid.

Nalu: I’m stupid, do me.

*** nsfw warning

Karim: What’s your body count?

Isobel: Do you mean sex or murder?

***

Henriette: What if people had food names and food had people names?

Wilhelmine: Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Henriette for dinner.

Friedrich: What is wrong with you people?

Gustav: Shut up, chocolate.

***

Friedrich: We’re going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo.

Friedrich, to Henriette and Wilhelmine: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms.

Friedrich, to Gustav: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement.

Gustav: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the… dubious looking device?

Friedrich: Because only Velma would say “dubious device”. Gustav gets the spooky fridge in the basement.

Wilhelmine: And what does that make you, Fred?

Friedrich: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

***

Wilhelmine: I'm cold.

Gustav: Here, take my hoodie.

*meanwhile*

Friedrich: I'm cold.

Henriette: I can't control the weather, Friedrich.

#incorrect quotes #wip: Drachenbrut #my ocs #tag game #writing community #funny dialogues

[adickaboutspoons]

OFMD Meta masterpost

Meta I've written both as dancing-with-the-madmen and here at spoondick, llc.

The Relationship is the Show (meta about the nature of Ed & Stede's relationship) The Art of Buggery Speedrunning U-Haul Pirates I Object to the Term “Whim”

A Fancy Man on a Fancy Ship (Stede meta) Stede and the Thanatos Drive* cPTSD trauma responses in Ed and Stede But Why Piracy? Touchy-touchy Talk it Through as a Crew (not for me, though, just for you) Stede is No Coward (a “no-but” tag novel) Did Stede CHOOSE to abandon Ed? (a “no but” tag novel) Stede didn’t abandon his crew (a totally measured and level-headed response to the idea that Stede owes the crew an apology for what happened after he “abandoned” them) Stede also didn’t set the French Boat Party on fire Stede also also isn't uniquely nor excessively susceptible to flattery or compliments (a tag novel) Lines in the Sand: Why Stede telling Ed “I don’t like who you are around this guy” is a Character Growth moment The Seeds of Tragedy: How Ed’s choice to leave with Calico Jack primed Stede to break his heart When a Steard is not a Beard

This Fictional Character is Having A Hard Time (Ed meta) Spooky Scary Speculation (what if Ed thinks the reason Stede didn’t join him at the dock is because Stede is dead?) Clearly I was wrong about this, but whatevs. It’s not bad reasoning; just not the way the show chose to go. And that's okay. Scraps of Evidence, or the Maps that Lead to You Fire Marshal Ed Guilt and Struggling with Worthlessness (a “yes-and” reply) Team Never A Plan (a “no but” reply) I will contend to the end that Ed saying he was planning on burning Stede’s face off in s2e4 was just him being mad at Stede and try to score one off him in much the same way him saying "last night was a mistake" in s2e7 was about pushing Stede away, not expressing regret that they slept together. Because it’s either that or he’s not as smart as I thought he was. Because it’s frankly a dumb plan. Ed Knows about Mary (a “no but” reply from before we got uncontestable s2 confirmation) Ed and the Hornighost (self loathing and the capacity for self-love) Kicking a man (out) while he’s down By the Neck; or, Pearls Mean Tears (the significance of the pearl necklace)

A Normal Amount of Secretive (Jim meta) We Live in a State of Nature Why The Kraken Kept Jim and Frenchie (and not anyone else): (a “yes and” reply)

Never Apologize (Mary meta) Mary is not without fault (and that’s a good thing) (a “yes and”-ing tag novel)

Girl How ARE You? (Zheng Yi Sao meta) Tea Soup and Sympathy

Deep Dives by episode: S01ep06: The Lamentable Tragedie of Hands-let Why Are Fang and Ivan Backing up Izzy During the Doggy Heaven Scene? S01ep8: The Massive Aggression of Calico Jack Homophobia in a $5 Halloween Mask (a series of "yes-and" replies) S01ep10: The Significance of Ned S02ep05: The Curse of “The Curse of the Seafaring Life” Season 2s Racist Problem

Set design: Ok, so I’m a dick about spoons Ship-shaped, Part 1 - What We Know Ship-shaped, Part 2 - Best Guesses Ship-shaped Part 3 - Rampant Speculation and Vile Calumny Ship-shaped Part 4 - A Proportional Response Ship-shaped Part 5 - The Not-So-Secret Stairs Ship-shaped: Part I Give Up Ship-shaped: Part It’s Just A Tardis, Ya’ll Gay Love on the Horizon Into the Metatext (reading Howard Pyle's Book of Pirates, the book Stede shows Ed from his library, for insight into OFMD) A conversation with @nicnacnonsense about the significance of the illustrations of Blackbeard used on the show Additional commentary on the nature of the illustrations used on the show launched by @triflesandparsnips More Thoughts about the relationship between in-universe Text and Images and how they represent Reality (now with S2) Cooking with Roach Season 2 on the rocks (themed cocktails and mocktails to enjoy with OFMD S2) 85 days?!?!?!?! 5 of Swords Season 2 Timeline Stuff I’m a giver ;)

Costuming: I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues (a response to and expansion upon weirdgirlcore’s meta on the use of blue in Stede’s wardrobe) Orange (the conclusion to I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues. Brevity? I don’t know her) Let’s do the Time(line) Warp Again! (adding on to @nicnacnonsennse’s excellent timeline video. Not STRICTLY costuming-related, but I’m putting it here because my first addition was predicated on costuming evidence) On Indigo and Not-So-Secret Ghosts On Gloves and Cravats: Why the Kraken went from full gauntlet-style gloves at the end of s1 to half-gloves in s2, and why they later disappear altogether, and what's the deal with the lack of s2 cravat Steal Ed’s Party Look: A Step-by-Step Hair Styling Tutorial with Pics Ed’s Princess (with a disorder) Hair: A Step-by-Step Hair Styling Tutorial with more shitty mirror selfies

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #my modest contribution to fandom

[neurodiversebones]

what are some of ur favorite episodes, if you don't mind sharing? i'm in the mood for a rewatch but don't know where to start 😭

gonna do this by season !!! there are SOOO many that i adore lol

season one :

- 1×09 , man in the fallout shelter (MY COMFORT EPISODE OF ALL TIME my mom and i like to watch it together and i can recite parts of it from memory)

- 1×17 , the skull in the desert (for the brengela content mostly LMAO)

- 1×22 , the woman in limbo (BRENNAN ANGST !!)

season two :

- 2×03 , the boy in the shroud (MORE BRENNAN ANGST !! so much good brennan development + brennan/cam moments here)

- 2×08 , the woman in the sand (brennan hot im so gay)

- 2×09 , aliens in a spaceship (not a hot take this is everyones top 5 but <33 god its SO GOOD)

- 2×11 , judas on a pole (i love max keenan ....)

season three :

- 3×05 , the mummy in the maze (BRENNAN/CAM/ANGELA'S COSTUMES IM SOOO GAY .....)

- 3×09 , the santa in the slush (this is the first episode i remember watching when i was a kid + im a SUCKER for a christmas episode)

- 3×12 , the baby in the bough (ACCIDENTAL BABY ACQUISITION !! i have done 'dancing phalanges !!' to my nieces btw .)

- 3×13 , the verdict in the story (I LOVE MAX KEENAN)

season four (currently where i am in my rewatch) :

- 4×04 , the finger in the nest (RIPLEY BRENNAN IM SOBBING)

- 4×08 , the skull in the sculpture (idgaf abt the case but ANGELA GIRLKISSER)

- 4×12 , double trouble in the panhandle (CIRCUS BRENNAN !!)

- 4×14 , the hero in the hold (ghosts confirmed ?? b&b angst ??)

- 4×21 , mayhem on a cross (SWEETS ....)

- 4×22 , double death of the dearly departed (watched this ep after taking a 40mg+ edible . i had never been high before . insane experience .)

- 4×26 , the end in the beginning (AU EPISODE !! B&B KISSES !!)

season five :

- 5×10 , the goop on the girl (CHRISTMAS EPISODES !!!)

- 5×12 , the proof in the pudding (bones canonically solved jfk's murder and thats just . a thing .)

- 5×16 , the parts in the sum of the whole (i fucking love this episode its everything to me)

-5×17 , the death of the queen bee (I LOVE A GOOD HS REUNION TROPE)

- 5×21 , the boy with the answer (i love a courtroom drama episode)

season six :

- 6×03 , maggots in the meathead (ONE OF THE FUNNIEST EPISODES OF ALL TIME)

- 6×09 , doctor in the photo (god this episode is so sad but its SO good)

- 6×14 , the bikini in the soup (valentines ,,,, i LOVE holiday episodes guys)

- 6×16 , the blackout in the blizzard (I LOVE THIS EPISODE SM EVERY SECOND OF IT IS FANTASTIC AND ITS SO UNDERRATED)

- 6×21 , the signs in the silence (brennan w kids makes me emotional)

- 6×22 , the hole in the heart (oh yk . the agonies)

- 6×23 , the change in the game (hi its wanda im at the bowling alley . bowling . I'M PREGNANT, BOOTH . YOU'RE THE FATHER . THE ADELE FADE AT THE END . IM CRYING)

season seven :

- 7×06 , the crack in the code (BANGER setup to an arc i have complicated feelings abt . this ep has such a spooky vibe i love it)

- 7×07 , the prisoner in the pipe (BABY !!)

- 7×13 , the past in the present (THE END JUST MAKES ME SO SAD I LOVE THE ANGST)

season eight :

- 8×06 , the patriot in purgatory (i love having all the interns YIPPEE)

- 8×07 , the bod in the pod (im just here for camastoo . you are my carburator .)

- 8×14 , the doll in the derby (ANGELA ON ROLLERSKATES ....)

- 8×15 , the shot in the dark (ghosts are real part 4 . christine brennan triggers my mommy issues . i want her to hug me .)

- 8×23 , the pathos in the pathogens (ANOTHER TOP TIER FAV EPISODE THE ANGST IS SO GOOD)

season nine :

- 9×04 , the sense in the sacrifice (YIPPEE LOVE !! PELANT DEAD !!)

- 9×06 , the woman in white (brennans vows make me sob every time .)

- 9×10 , the mystery in the meat (COWGIRL BAR FIGHT IM SO <33)

- 9×11 , the spark in the park (brennan talking to the professor makes me SOB .)

- 9×24 , the recluse in the recliner (tbh i never understand the fbi conspiracy arc but this episode is crazy)

season ten :

- 10×02 , the lance to the heart (you put the lime in the coconut ....)

- 10×10 , the 200th in the 10th (INSANE OLD HOLLYWOOD AU ITS SO FUCKING FUN)

- 10×15 , the eye in the sky (booth angst booth angst)

season eleven :

- 11×09 , the cowboy in the contest (I LOVE UNDERCOVER I LOVE COSTUMES)

- 11×10 , the doom in the boom (HODGINS ANGST)

- 11×12 , the murder of the meninist ("we love going viral" "so do infectious diseases")

- 11×13 , the monster in the closet (PUPPETEER ARC !!!)

- 11×18 , the movie in the making (comfort episode I LOVE A MOCKUMENTARY AND ALSO THE CAMASTOO PROPOSAL)

- 11×22 , the nightmare within the nightmare (this episode scared me so bad bc i watched it at 4am 😭 THE FUCKING ZACK REVEAL IS CRAZY)

season twelve :

- 12×01 , the hope in the horror (I HATE THE DEMONIZATION OF DID ITS SO GROSS BUT I LOVE SEEING ZACK)

- 12×07 , the scare in the score (I CRIED SO BAD ....)

- 12×09 , the steal in the wheels (i giggled i <3 silly undercover time)

- 12×11 , the day in the life (CAMASTOO WEDDING IM SOBBINGGGG . ALSO THE END HOLY SHIT)

- 12×12 , the end in the end (i fucking wept . i love tge finale im so emotional abt it .)

#THIS WAS SUCH A BIG INFODUMP IM SORRY #GUYS I LOVE THIS SHOW

[oatmealaddiction]

In light of RQ drama, I'm seeing a lot of kids on tumblr out here wondering if they can listen to TMA or not, or if they should feel bad for supporting the kickstarter and asking things like "can I still like Rusty Quill?" and like as someone whose struggled with Obsessive Compulsion, that's honestly really sad to see and I need to make this clear. Nothing that Rusty Quill as a company does, reflects on you as a person. You are not enabling abuse of employees by liking Magnus Archives and being excited for the sequel. There are allegations out right now, and there still needs to be time to substantiate them and there is zero pressure on you as a fan to come to a conclusion right away. It's okay to be unsure and it's okay to shrug and say "well I don't know what the truth is and frankly I'm probably not going to be the one to untangle this" and continue to post your TMA fanart. If it turns out your kickstarter money did end up going to an unethical company, you do not need to feel guilty about that given the information that is available right now. You guys are all looking for a way to label yourselves good or bad, and too often that label comes from what we consume. If I buy this I'm bad, if I like this I'm bad, if I have a parasocial relationship with so-in-so I'm bad, and like, no. What you like or dislike is honestly pretty nebulous, and you are not responsible for other people's actions. It is not your job to keep corporations in check and if a spooky gay podcast gives you joy, I promise you it is okay to still find joy in it while also acknowledging that unfortunately the company that produced it may have treated its employees unethically. There is no media produced by perfect individuals and liking Magnus Archives and other RQ products does not mean you endorse employee abuse. And by all means, if the allegations make you uncomfortable and you want to support workers, go ahead and support indie podcasts and pull your money out of the kickstarter campaign. If the knowledge of possible employee abuse makes it difficult to engage with TMA, feel free to move on. But don't just do that because you're scared you're a bad person and you feel like you need to come to some conclusion right now about all of this. Anyone who needs that kind of response from you is being unreasonable.

And to the people out there telling other people the correct moral way to react to this news, seriously, it's fine if people need time to come to their own conclusions on this and there is no reason to accuse anyone of some kind of moral failing for not knowing how to react to this frankly confusing and opaque controversy. It's okay to just be uncomfortable and not know what to do. I think more of us should do that all the time, and be forgiving of others for trying to do their best with the information that they have. But in my opinion, Fifteen year old Magnus Archives fans do not need to be making abusive labor laws and bad company practice their responsibility. Literally no one besides the relevant parties involved should be feeling any kind of guilt or shame.

#OCD mention #TMA #the magnus archives #Like we as a community are way too comfortable slinging around the terms ''good'' and ''bad'' person #And it isn't healthy to take on the weight of every single corporations controversies that you encounter #Just do what feels right to you and don't worry if others might not agree with that #There's no such thing as good or bad people and you do not have to prove your goodness to anyone #especially online #rusty quill