#just. sighs loudly

[nightmare-foundation]

I keep seeing and impulsively checking the blog of an old fairly toxic friend of mine n I just.

Man. Why do YOU have to be doing well. Why am I the only one who looks back and ends up feeling awful.

Not that I want him to suffer. It's better he doesn't. But like,, I'm always the one on the chopping block between the two of us. It's been 4 YEARS and one month since we've completely ceased contact. Yet my dumb ass STILL can't not think abt him at random

Like,, I'm sure I wasn't completely innocent. I was a really weird 13 year old who never had a genuine friend before, not to mention my mental illness and trauma I had yet to uncover. Yet the only person who never communicated nor seemed to care about our friendship was him. I could be pushy at times, yeah, but I always backed down if told no and whatnot.

Not only that, but I'm still annoyed that he straight up LIED about me and what I was like. One of his (ADULT) friends had contacted me in late 2018, claiming I was, and I quote, "manipulative, misgendered him, and used him as an emotional dump truck". I was 13 years old, and my only friend besides one other person had blocked me for no reason.

Literally for that WHOLE month, I was terrified. I had panic attacks and was anxious as hell. And I'll admit I was a little dependent on him, but I was still fucked from that experience.

Once we started talking again and boundaries set up. He SORT of apologized, but always insisted he was an awful friend, so I ended up having to comfort him instead. I always made excuses and everything for him, convinced that I was awful. And literally like,, there was no effort put in from his side after that. Aaaand then April 2019, I was suddenly messaged and blocked, and that was the last time we talked.

I was hurt obv but like. After that. I kept on being targeted by his adult friends (we were both 14, the friends were at LEAST 23+). Deadass I still don't know what the hell was said abt me but I KNOW it wasn't good. Bc before I knew it I had someone call me a pathetic bitch while I was having a panic attack over feeling guilty for shit I didn't do, then I was banned from like 3 system servers for "interacting inappropriately with a minor". Cue me literally being 14 at the time, a csa survivor, with no evidence even when I asked repeatedly for it, with literally no access to anyone younger than me bc of discords TOS.

The stress from that LITERALLY made us split several times and caused us to switch hosts. Sammy, the alter who was host at the time, is likely STILL dormant. All of that happened in practically the same year.

I'm still fucking baffled by it, angry, and hurt. It's been 4 damn years and I'm 90% sure he doesn't even remember us now.

Like,, christ I still can't interact with the undertale fandom for long bc it makes me remember him. I can't even look at art styles resembling his bc it makes me sick! I am TERRIFIED of venting bc I'm scared someone will lash out at me or accuse me of dumping all of my trauma on them. I'm scared I'm doing something wrong without knowing it and that tomorrow I'll wake up to having no friends bc they all blocked me.

Hell, I have issues trusting people who use the same name as him! I avoid a whole GROUP of people because I'm terrified they'll recognize me and start drama with false claims. Anyone who may have been so much as NEAR him I can't completely interact with besides a couple reblogs here and there.

And like,, I'm sure he's doing completely fine. That he's entirely unaware of the damage he caused. And, yeah, good for him, he's not suffering like I am. But also,, I'm painfully envious. I wish I was left pain free.

It's so stupid. It was 4 years ago. I really need to get over it.

#ramsey (host) #vent #vent post #66 tag #that doesnt make sense to yall but im making a private tag #specifically for me venting abt him #just. sighs loudly

[loserharrington]

steve and argyle as a duo would be so…. argyle would never be outright rude to someone but he would be LOUDLY passive aggressive and steve has no problem telling someone to their face that he’d kill himself to get them to stop talking. it’s like good cop bad cop except they’re both bad cop

#when he met mike at the airport… #talking about his shirt: ​“oh no it’s a shitty knock off. don’t sweat it man we’ll get your the good threads out here!’ #JUST CALL HIM BROKE WHY DONT YOU #steve sighs loudly when customers at family video talk to him too much so they leave him alone #stranger things #argyle #argyle stranger things #stargyle #steve harrington #stranger things 4

[braxix]

Maglor: Celebrimbor, you idiot.

Celebrimbor: How was I supposed to know that forging three powerful objects would turn out badly?!

Maglor:

Celebrimbor:

Maglor:

Celebrimbor: ...Right.

#Maglor would violently shake sense into his nephew #Elrond's just sitting in the corner sighing loudly #lotr #lord of the rings #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #silmarillion #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect quotes #maglor #lotr maglor #celebrimbor #lotr celebrimbor

[liverralonee]

sometimes i wonder if i’m actually neurotypical or just in denial

#i made that myself are you guys proud #sighs VERY loudly #not lovingly #don’t know why #think i’m just tired #sleep deprived gang where y’all at #scream 1996 #stuilly #billy loomis #stuillyshipping

[martiansagain]

uns ǝɥʇ .xıx

+ Speedpaint, TW for flashing lights.

#digital art #drawing #artwork #art #my art #airy hfjone #airy one #hfjone #hfj airy #osc #osc art #osc community #I just like the symbolism of him being the sun #sighs…. the sun reversed in tarot… #SIGHS LOUDLY #YOU NEED THE SUN TO STAY WARM JUST LIKE YOU NEED AIRY TO ESCAPE THE PLANE #SIGHS #anyway i just think hes neat :) #hfjone art #hfjone fanart #hfjone airy #airyposting

[chaotic-minds-think-alike]

So I saw a lot of bug designs in the ultrakill tag so what if I like..

Whoops

#myart #ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #bug #insect #the firts design looked too humanoid for me so now he’s some fucked up wasp #with stingers in the arms… for swords… #and forget logic because he’s an Angel he can do what he wants #also this is just a doodle idk if I’ll ever make a full version of the design #this is also spurred off I spent 2 hours making IDs for my bug collection sighs so loudly

[monsieuroverlord]

Covers for April's Fall of X issues have been released.

In Wolverine #47, Laura goes toe-to-toe with the Savage Sabretooth

Written by Victor LaValle & Benjamin Percy, art by Geoff Shaw, cover by Leinil Francis Yu

"Savage escape! "Sabretooth War" – Part 7! Laura Kinney must escape the clutches of the Savage Sabretooth! Will Victor Creed’s weapon spell the end for Logan? A can’t-miss issue!  "

In Wolverine #48, Graydon Creed reappears (perhaps along with that Barrington Coil?)

Written by Victor LaValle & Benjamin Percy, art by Cory Smith, cover by Leinil Francis Yu

"Creed vs. Creed! "Sabretooth War" – Part 8! It’s a family affair as Graydon Creed, the maligned son of Victor Creed, AKA Sabretooth, brings the fight to his father. The winner gets Wolverine – or…what’s left of him…!"

In X-Men Forever #2, based on the alone, in looks like Jubilee is officially back to the land of the living and the displaced mutants escaped the White Hot Room (assuming the cover isn't a fake-out)

written by Kieron Gillen, art by Luca Maresca, cover by Mark Brooks

"Immortal means forever! The fight for Krakoa's future begins here! Since RISE OF THE POWERS OF X began, there have been a few mysteries unrevealed! Now writer Kieron Gillen fills in the gap of what happened between the end of IMMORTAL X-MEN and the beginning of the end of the Krakoan Age!"

source here

#wolverine #laura kinney #victor creed #sabretooth #x-men #x-men forever #jubilee #jubilation lee #sam guthrie #exodus #bennet du paris #rachel grey #logan howlett #james logan howlett #i may have sighed a little too loudly typing up the wolverine stuff #i love my girl laura #but I'm still reeling from akihiro #i just hope laura kicks lady sabretooth's ass #and then some #also the stretch armstrong wolverine cover makes me laugh

[5racha]

Hyungwon in that outfit

#mx7net #melontrack #boyidoledit #malegroupsnet #mgroupsedit #kpopccc #dailybg #chae hyungwon #model!hyungwon #monsta x #hyungwon #monsta x hyungwon #gifs #excuse me while i cry over this guy on a daily basis #he's just so... #sighs loudly

[whimsylace]

sometimes even i forget that darry’s only 20 because of how we as a fandom treat him . like .

in all of those “the outsiders texting” videos or twitter aus hes always the one unable to use technology like an old man; or hes the one that people use as the stereotypical “facebook mom”

????????this boy is two years younger than two bit, and he’s seen as a grandpa????? can we appreciate him more pls . & maybe not just stereotype him as the classic old person

#the outsiders #darry curtis #darrel curtis #im so sick and tired #i love him so much #no srsly 20 is so so young?????? #no; he would not struggle to type on a cellphone he just turned twenty #sighs loudly #stars rants ♡

[lilyharvord]

Mare sure was talking a big game in War Storm about how she didn't care about Cal Tiberias for someone who wouldn't stop looking at him in every situation she could.

You say you're over him, but you just happened to notice that his boots were polished and that he was wearing the new winter collection of the Calore wardrobe? Okay girl whatever you say.

Not to mention she went out of her way twice (2x, otra vez), to tell two powerful people who make important decision that he has to live by the end. Like sure girl, you're over him, we believe you 🙄

#red queen #glass sword #kings cage #war storm #broken throne #post broken throne #mare barrow #cal calore #marecal #listen everyone else knew she would tear the world apart of if anything happened to him #the only person who didn't know that was Mare #and maybe Cal #he was busy being a love sick kicked puppy though #he really was like the puppy that peed on the rug and mare chucked him outside into the rain #and he just sat at the glass door giving her puppy eyes until she literally sighed super loudly and brought him back in #toweled him off and everything #and then let him sleep on the bed that night #like sure girl #you're over him #we believe you #farley rolled her eyes into the back of her head any time they were in a room together

[cal4hysteria]

if only i knew then what i know now

#this is kind of old (sitting in my ibis paint folder for a week) #I just wanted to post something even though I hate this I hate this so much #rips out all my teeth like a 7 year old #i HATE this. not even a normal amount of hate. I want to set this on fire. #anyways! Hi guys #I posted... I know #hey btw do u guys like. Angst. I don't know how to draw angst but. you know #that s how I got this in the first place #mandela catalogue #adam murray #jonah marshall #tmc #sighs LOUDLY and DRAMATICALLY so the whole room can hear me and turn on their empath powers and ask me what's wrong

[gojoest]

my hc is that gojo has a special ringtone for you so he knows when you’re calling, his phone could be on mute but your calls always always go through. he could be fighting the strongest curse, sitting in the most important meeting discussing the fate of the whole world but when you’re calling he doesn’t give a FUCK he picks up even if you call to just ask what’s for dinner

omg totally !! he always ALWAYS picks up ur calls no matter what, when or where, in each and every focus in his phone your contact number is the only exception

#[ ai—mail ] #and he’d be so bummed if you were to not allow notifications from him on do not disturb lol #he’s just gonna sit there dejected and pout and sigh very loudly until u change it

[kitsch-s]

being a poet is so humbling. here’s a poem about this unrequited crush i have. here’s a poem about something i told my therapist i wasn’t upset about anymore. yes i will write like 70 more of each of these. yes i will continue to ache over things i cant control. im very good at that what else do u want me to do . here’s a poem with too many dog metaphors for someone who is a cat person . enjoy

#sighs loudly #i’m rambling #poetry keeps me sane tho so there’s that #i Know i just reblogged sweatermuppet (thank u sweatermuppet) (love u sweatermuppet) but look. Look. look. it’s so embarassing. #it’s so humbling. #it needs to be said twice

[yashley]

imogen/fearne moments that make me feral: 2/?

#critical role #imogearne #imogen x fearne #SIGHS LOUDLY I need to write more #a one shot where imogen Needs to get back at this bougie Whitestone motherfckers and fearne is like Lets Steal #and they get caught by Scanlan and he's just like ok young ladies you wanna make sure you lock doors if you're gonna #cos they're both disheveled and panting and flushed and scanlan locks the door for them and salutes #and imogen is like . . . . . . .. . . . did he think and fearne says can't possibly... we would look WAY more fucked up if that happened #and walks off and imogen is like #it’s OKAY I just #ygifs #fifm

[badolmen]

I’m trying to find a way to parse this but like:

Make up culture is bad because of how capitalism has twisted appearance to be a basis of worth and social value. However, humans have been putting stuff on their skin since our ancestors started losing hair (maybe even before?) and ornamentation does have significant historic cultural value outside of modern late-capitalism induced self loathing.

Like. Make-up is not a thing in my immediate family. My mother and older sister? Nothing. My little sister is going to be so lucky to grow up in a space where she won’t have any expectation or support for make-up culture. I know make-up culture a shitty phenomenon; I know it steals time and money and self-worth from people at its worst and at its best feeds back into an appearance based cultural hierarchy.

But. But. There is such a rich and vibrant history to cosmetics outside of what is sold to reinforce that inevitably toxic culture. So many forms of art in face paint and more permanent and interesting body modification! There’s history and traceable evolving styles and intentions! And it fucking sucks that it’s been so corrupted to the point of no longer reflecting it’s original intent of being creative and unique and interesting!

Sometimes it just sounds like ‘don’t have tattoos don’t you know those annoying punks and degenerates have those?’ has just been repackaged as ‘don’t wear make-up don’t you know those annoying preps and conformists do that?’ Like I get what you’re trying to say but there is nuance to these conversations and willfully ignoring that nuance makes you sound ridiculous at best and outright hostile to any deviation from your standards at worst.

#ra speaks #personal #be normal if you reblog this or else I’ll sigh loudly and be disappointed in you #saw a dumb post. saw replies I didn’t 100% agree with. #why can’t people just not interact w posts that they don’t like #I know I know it takes soooo much self control especially for a tumblr user #but jfc stop acting like option A and option Z are a strict dichotomy #when there’s 26 letters in the English alphabet and we haven’t even touched numbers yet #you know??? like. #they’re not right. you’re also not right in an equal and opposite way. can we approach complex topics with more critical thinking please. #anyways i like when people have awesome extreme and colorful makeup it’s cool. I hate when people have bland ‘natural’ makeup that’s wack #what’s the point of having cool art stuff you can put on your skin if you’re just gonna. paint in skin colors?? #this isn’t abstract art of painting a white canvas white that’s weird and externally motivated standards that do not have artistic intention #which defeats the purpose of having cool art stuff you can put on your skin.

[dandyshucks]

blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭 #and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads #which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those #so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time #i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos #ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl #the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl #every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!! #''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/ #''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍 #I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ???? #what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly. #vent // #SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community #i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos #it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl #i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl #(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it) #(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl) #delete later #dandyshucks