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aesteraceae · 1 year

Text

Spring Nights

Pairing: Chan x nb!Reader

Summary: Chan needs a love potion and only you can get him one, but things don't quite go as planned.

Notes: This fic is a gift for Bee, @inkedtae !! Happy (very late I'm so sorry) holidays! This was for the clownracha secret santa fic exchange!! I apologize for this being a little late, complications happened but it's here now and I hope you love it <3 also this is the first time I've ever made a banner for a fic so that's fun!! :D

Tags under the cut!!

Tags: Nonbinary reader, truth serums, magic au, love potions, arranged marriages, references to homophobia, royal au, pining, rough sex, biting, hickeys, oral sex, reader has a dick, slight dom/sub, nipple play, vibrators, grinding, face fucking, teasing, cum swallowing

Taglist: @sunnyville36 @snow-pegasus @toastyseungmo @sstarryoong and @wooyussy

Ps: If you recognize the magic system I used here I love you so much (hint, it's from a queer book!)

· · ────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It is 3 o'clock at night, and there is someone at your door.

The rage that you feel as you drag yourself out of bed to answer it could burn a small forest, especially because your familiar, Felix, doesn't even flinch at the insistent knocking. His ears flick slightly, showing you that he's awake, he just doesn't care.

"Ungrateful brat," you mutter, yawning as you float down to the first level of your tower. You're met with the clicking of glass jars and knickknacks, as if they were greeting your arrival.

Your shop was small, but business was steady and you'd never had any issues with money. The kingdom at the bottom of the hill often requested your services, rerouting rivers or ensuring a plentiful harvest. In return, you got a portion of their crops and minerals, and of course money, though you had far less use for that.

It was a nice relationship, but it was not one that opened the opportunity for people to come visit you in the wee hours of the night.

"We are closed," You hiss, opening the door, only to stop dead in your tracks.

The man at your doorway is not just any farmer who's come to proposition you for fertilizer as you'd expected.

No, the man at your doorway is Prince Chan, heir to the throne of the kingdom you depended on.

Prince Chan, who you have very very quietly pined over for more than a year now.

And you are in nothing but sweatpants, scowling.

"I know, I'm so sorry! I just- this is really urgent, and I didn't know who else to go to!"

You straighten up, trying not to look so messy. A small part of you is still protesting that he's in your home at 3 am and you had every right to not be put together, but still. Chan was a prince, and he wasn't a pompous asshole, so you decide to show him some respect.

"I- Yes, of course. What do you need, your majesty?"

Felix finally shows himself, padding down to brush against your ankles, and then against Chan's mud stained boots. His fur shimmers as he does so, carefully repelling any filth that might have transferred over. You quickly scoop him up, both to keep him from running out and to preserve some of your modesty.

"Oh, you have a cat? He's so pretty!"

Felix purrs, leaning into his hand when Chan reaches out to pet him, which has absolutely no right being that cute.

"Yes, his name is Felix. He's my familiar, but back on the topic of why you're here?"

Chan nods, snapping out of the trance the kitten had placed him in.

"Right! Um, I need a love potion."

You deserve a Nobel Peace prize for not slamming the door in his face.

"What." You can't even hide the venom in your voice, and Felix leaps out of your arms.

Chan waves his hands around, trying to placate you, but it only serves to be more annoying.

"I promise it's not what you think! I know it's weird, but it really is urgent!"

"In what world is a love potion so urgent that you had to get here at 3 am?"

Chan sighs, desperate.

"I swear, I'll explain everything. I'll pay you double, triple the normal cost, just please help!"

You take a minute to actually look at Chan, his messy wet curls, soaked coat, and shaking form. Had he climbed the mountain without any sort of umbrella?

You grab his wrist and drag him inside, slamming the door behind him.

"Fuck, okay. Just sit still for a second, I'll get you a dry spell and I'll change. Play with Felix or something."

You take the stairs back up to your room, resisting the urge to scream as you throw on a sweater and pants. You don't do anything nice with your hair, just put it in a bun to keep it out of the way. You take your wand from it's case and allow yourself one quiet scream.

You're back downstairs in less than 2 minutes, and find Chan marvelling at how Felix's fur refuses to get wet or dirty.

"Oh, hey! This is amazing, is it a spell?" He's got this wide, dopey grin on his face, and you can't help but smile.

"Not my spell. My mentor gave him to me, and it's his magic."

Chan hums, standing up slowly, as if he could keep from dripping water everywhere if he didn't move very much. There's already a puddle at his feet, though, so you're not sure why he bothers.

"Rain rain go away!"

A burst of energy flows from your wand over to Chan, swirling around him. In just a second all the water has been wicked from him, leaving him and the floor perfectly dry.

"There. Come on, I take spell requests in the back room."

Chan blinks at you, and doesn't move.

You point to the gauzy curtain separating your workrooms from the main entrance, but Chan still doesn't move.

Did you break him?

"Uh. Your highness? Prince Chan?"

"Are your spells all... nursery rhymes?"

Oh.

You remember Minho's voice, low and patient as he taught you the basics of magic. "Words have power, my darling. The words we say carry magic in themselves, and words that many people have said carry even more."

You grab his wrist again so he walks while you explain.

"Some of them are. Phrases a lot of people say carry magic, like nursery rhymes for example."

"That's so cool! Wait, does that mean I can do it too?"

You push the curtain away and begin moving around the room, gathering basic ingredients you'll need for the potion.

"Unless you're a mage yourself, no. Can we get back on topic, please?"

"Right, of course."

You sigh, thankful to be back in familiar territory, even if the darkness outside creates a different atmosphere than you're used to. The room is lit only by candles, which creates a cozy feeling in the daytime, but now... Well.

"What do you need this potion for anyway?"

Chan shrinks into himself, refusing to meet your gaze.

"It's my mother. She wants me to get married, and she gave me 2 days to find someone I wanted to be with before she arranged a marriage with the princess of Phoenix Drop, but I hate her. She's evil, and I just know that if I marry her she'll ruin this kingdom! So I have to find someone."

You look over your shoulder to glare at him, "You're a prince. The prince. How on earth are you having trouble getting a wife? You hardly need a love potion for it."

Chan sits down on one of your cushions, squeezing himself into a ball.

"I don't want a wife." He whispers, like admitting to a crime, and you soften.

"Oh."

He straightens up, steeling his expression. "So, I need a love potion. I need to make myself fall in love with a woman, not make them fall in love with me."

Well. There's only so much you can do, when you hear something like that. However, trapping a man who's proved to be nothing but kind (if a little tactless) into a loveless marriage is not one of them.

"Love potions aren't miracles. That's not what they do. I'm sorry, but even if I gave you the best potion I could make, it wouldn't last. Not on you, anyway."

Watching Chan deflate like a popped balloon hurts a bit too much, so you turn back to your worktable.

He's silent for a long time, and you're just about to start consoling him when he raises his head, tightens his jaw, and balls his fists up.

"Make it anyway. I don't care if it's temporary, I just have to keep my kingdom safe."

You watch him, then. There's something deeply sad behind his eyes, like tears long since hidden away, and you have the strangest impulse to hug him.

But that would be absurd. It could get you thrown out of the kingdom, you're sure of it. So instead, you sigh and continue the potion.

"As you wish. It shouldn't take me long, just have a seat and wait."

Chan does just that, halfheartedly throwing a string around for Felix to chase, and you carefully ignore the feeling of eyes on your back, following your every move.

The potion bubbles on the stove, glowing a deep red, and you curse under your breath.

"Ah, your highness? Can you hand me that vial of lemongrass on the table?"

The potion can't be left alone even for a moment at this stage, and Felix didn't seem eager to move from his spot underneath the table.

"Oh, of course!" To his credit, Chan is quick.

He hands you the vial with shaking hands, though, and you look at him as you pour it in.

"Are you alright? If you're cold I can set up the fireplace."

Chan shakes his head and places his hands behind his back, as if he wasn't trembling from head to toe.

"No, I'm fine. I'm not cold."

You just stare at him, unblinking, and he cracks in record time.

"Okay, fine. I'm not cold, but- I just- you didn't react. Not really."

"React to what?"

You turn back to the pot, cutting the heat and reaching up for a glass bottle.

"I just told you I'm gay! And I'm the prince! That doesn't... I don't know, warrant any reaction?"

You sigh, opening the bottle. "I'm not homophobic, if that's what you're worried about. I don't care all that much. Hell, I wouldn't have much room to talk anyway."

Chan recoils so quickly you think you splashed him with the potion, but it's all safely in it's bottle.

"You're- wh- I mean, that's great!"

You can't help but laugh, leaning against the counter to face him properly.

"Yes Chan, I'm gay. Sort of. Gender doesn't matter to me, not even for myself. Now, how are we proceeding with this information?"

"I can't do anything with it."

There's something... Off in how he says it. Something soft, almost hopeful.

"What do you mean?"

Chan's ears go red, and his eyes fix on a point over your shoulder.

"I can't. It wouldn't be- I can't. Forget I said anything."

You were only joking, but now Chan seemed melancholy, and you couldn't stand for that.

"The potion's ready. Split it with the person you choose, and it will work. For whoever you pick it will likely be permanent, but for you... Expect a few years, tops."

You hand the bottle to him, reaching for a cork to seal it, and Chan shrieks.

You jump back as Chan drops the bottle, holding his hand, and watch in horror as the glass and all it's contents splash across the floor and all over him.

"Oh- Oh my god! Your highness, I'm so sorry! The bottle shouldn't have been hot, I- I really didn't mean to, gods I'm-"

You reach for your wand, hands shaking, wracked with guilt and fear, but stop dead in your tracks when Chan rips off his shirt.

It catches a candle you set on the counter and burns up into nothing but ash.

Your mouth moves on autopilot to clean up the potion while you put the pieces together.

The lemongrass should have cooled the potion down immediately, leaving it perfectly handleable, if a little warm.

It certainly shouldn't have been hot enough to make Chan shout like that, or drop the entire container.

"Chan? Are you... Okay?"

"Yes. I want you to buy me a new shirt."

He blinks, as if startled by his own words, and you resign yourself to being exiled the moment this is all over.

Fuck.

"Fuck."

You step forward and examine the vial Chan handed you, and sure enough the label says basil, not lemongrass.

"I... I think I made you a truth serum."

You rarely ever make them, and you've never made such a large batch. And Chan has all of it affecting him.

Fuck.

"Oh."

Chan grimaces and looks down at his hands, shifting from foot to foot.

"That's bad."

"Mhm."

You both stare at the glass still scattered on the floor, perfectly still, until Felix jumps onto the counter and hisses.

It breaks the awkward moment and you can't be more grateful for it, scooping him up and letting him ride on your shoulders as you sweep up the glass.

"You shouldn't be unsupervised like this. I've never made a truth serum that potent, and though it shouldn't have any bad effects it could still get you in trouble."

"I don't want to leave. I want to stay with you."

You nearly drop the broom, faltering a little at his bluntness. You really should be expecting it, but it still makes your heart pound.

"Well, that makes this very easy, then. Um... I'll make tea. Go have a seat, please." It's mostly just a way to get him and his fucking skin out of your sight for a minute so you don't burn up just like his shirt.

"Yes sir." The way he says it is almost teasing. Almost. It's just serious enough to make you gape at him as he walks through the curtain, pointedly not sitting down.

He traces his hands along all the furniture and knickknacks, reading every potion label, inspecting every orb. He's surprisingly delicate, likely used to treating things with care, so you don't make him stop. If he stays entertained like that, there's less chance of him spilling a secret of the castle. At least then you wouldn't be executed by morning.

You carry the tea tray into the main room, setting it on the coffee table and settling down on a cushion.

"Prince Chan, come get your tea."

He smiles at you, wide and sparkling, and you have to turn back to your tea so he doesn't see you blushing.

"Your ears turned really red. Mine do that too, when I'm embarrassed. Mother calls me "dumbo" because of it."

It's jarring, hearing such personal things in such a casual tone. It almost felt like you were good friends having tea, not virtual strangers who are both going to be in deep trouble when morning comes.

"Come get your tea, your highness. And- if you can, refrain from speaking."

"No," he says, sitting right next to you, pulling his teacup with him. Your shoulders touch, and his skin is so soft. You almost choke on the tentative sip you'd taken, and it doesn't go unnoticed. "I like talking to you, it's nice."

"It's- I enjoy it too, but you're just here for a potion, which I'll remake properly once you work this out of your system."

Chan hums, and then, like the cat currently curled up at your feet, nuzzles his face into your neck.

This has to be some sort of fever dream, right? The prince, next in line to be king, is nuzzling against your neck and pressing kisses there.

The king who also happens to be gay, and shirtless, and under a truth serum.

You shoot up so fast you almost trip, rushing up the stairs with an excuse of finding him a shirt.

It's not really a lie, you do dig through your closet and find him a shirt, though it lies discarded on your bed as you scream into a pillow.

Just a few hours ago you were sleeping peacefully, dreaming about the ingredients you were going to buy with your last payout, and now you're hiding from a very very hot man who you may or may not have been ogling for the past year.

A fever dream. That's really the only explanation.

"Why are you screaming?"

You don't acknowledge him, just scream a little louder. If you're loud enough, maybe he'll go away.

He must have royal attendants, you're sure someone else will be willing to babysit him until he gets back to normal.

"Oi!"

You freeze. It's not that you don't want to move, or that his voice has stunned you still, it's the fact that Chan has climbed on top of you and pinned your hands to the bed.

So. You're face down on the bed, head shoved into a pillow, with a gay shirtless prince straddling your back.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up..."

"You're not sleeping. Now tell me why you were yelling!"

Chan's voice, despite his position, isn't very steady. He seems actually worried, and though you'd go about verifying someone's wellbeing very differently, you can't really blame him right now.

"You are why I'm yelling, dumbass. Think about this position for maybe 5 seconds and you'll want to scream too!"

And he does.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

"I don't want to scream. I want to make you scream."

Because you're nothing if not obedient, you scream again.

His hands tighten a little on your wrists and his mouth is so close to your neck you can feel his breath, shaking and hot.

"I've liked you for so fucking long. I mostly came here because I wanted to flirt, and if I came any other time I'd have to be escorted," he leans in closer, somehow, lips brushing against your ear, "I wanted to be alone with you, like this. I wanted to hold you like this, or have you do it to me, I'm not really picky."

You shout again, but it's more like a whine. He takes away this luxury, though, by pulling away and turning you onto your back.

He barely gives you a moment to breathe, though, because now he's straddling your hips and you're pressed right against his ass and—

"Yes or no. I'm not going to take advantage of you, of this, but I am a little grateful for the opportunity. So tell me, do you want this?"

He leans in close again, an action you're gonna need to make him stop doing for the sake of your own heart, and whispers, "Do you want me? Because fuck, I want you."

And, well. What really is there to say to that?

"Yes. Chan, yes."

He shifts his head and grips your jaw tight as he kisses you, primal and deep and intense.

Fire sparks between your lips, your saliva working as gasoline and burning up every inch of trepidation about this, about eachother.

"Fuck, too many fucking clothes. I liked the sweats better."

You can only manage a breathy laugh because he's grinding down as he kisses you, dragging your shirt up your chest and off your arms.

"I want to bite you. Can I? Please?"

It's all you can do to force your head to nod before he attacks you like a man starved, biting and sucking and licking everywhere, your chest, your neck, even your shoulders and arms. He leaves hickeys right between the veins on your wrist and it's embarrassing how good it feels but you can't feel any emotion other than raw need as he touches you, skin like a branding iron.

"Chan- ah, fuck- pants, something, come on."

He laughs, long and dark, biting your chest particularly hard, and you thrash a little in the sheets. Mercifully, he does slide down your pants and toss them over to the side, eyeing you like a wolf stalking a gazelle.

"Chan." You're not really sure why you say it, but the words leave your mouth anyway and his head snaps up, tilting in a way that could almost be cute if his eyes weren't so dark. It just seems condescending now, and you shrink back a little.

"Nothing, sorry. Just- I don't... I don't exactly do this a lot."

Instead of softening, Chan's mouth splits open in a wide, predatory grin, and he ducks his head down.

A dream could never feel this vivid, this intense, this perfect.

Chan's tongue is thick and hot and draws sweet little lines up and down your cock, teasing, but it feels so nice you can't even complain.

"Bang Chan! Oh- Jesus!"

He finally, finally opens his mouth wide and takes you, all of you in one smooth stroke, and it's so good your hands move on their own, pulling at his hair as you arch your back.

"This is- please, please, wait a second, fuck-"

"If you want me to stop because you're going to cum, you've got another thing coming."

That draws a long keen from your lips and you can't even control it as your mouth opens around a scream, silent at first and then very loud as he reaches a hand up to cup your balls as well.

There's white on his lips when he pulls off, but you're too blissed out to notice much else.

Chan is a blur of colors and shapes and sounds as he climbs back up your body, kissing your cheeks and neck while you try and drag yourself back into the land of the living.

"You're fucking insane, you know that?"

"I had a hunch."

You barely manage a laugh, but that's enough for Chan. "Are you feeling okay? That looked like it took a lot out of you."

You swat his arm, and shut your eyes because your brain seems caught up on how many freckles are in the area.

"I'm peachy. In tip top shape. Over the moon."

"Do you have sex spells?"

It's so random you almost don't answer him, but then you think about it some, and an idea roots itself in your head.

"Yes. Lots of spells can be made into sexual stuff, but there are some specifically for that."

"Like what?"

Hesitantly, you reach for your spare wand on the dresser and tap Chan's shoulder, whispering "sensitive" over the area.

"What was that?"

You smack him with the wand, just a light tap, and he collapses, entire arm buckling with the pain.

"Fuck!"

You can't help but giggle, quickly reversing the spell. "So yeah, sensitivity's a common one. I can turn anything into a sex toy if I want, I can restrain you, I can make lube, all kinds of stuff. Depends on what you're into, really."

"I'm into whatever you want me to be." You snort, and then pause, because that couldn't have been a joke.

"Oh yeah?"

He nods, eyes suddenly very serious. You sit up to look at him better, but he doesn't move from his spot against the bed, underneath you. You straddle his hips on a whim, reversing your positions from earlier, looking down into his eyes.

"Do whatever you want, I mean it. At least try. I'll tell you if I don't like it."

It's dizzying, having so many options and the opportunity to pursue all of them, but it only takes you a few moments to formulate a plan. First, you cast sensitive on his entire chest and watch him squirm for a moment, the cool air suddenly feeling like too much against his flushed skin.

"Good vibes." you whisper to your wand, and smile as it lights up with energy, gently vibrating in your hand. It's completely silent, so Chan is taken by surprise when you press it against his chest. You drag long lines across his skin, watching him writhe and shake against the touch, not quite stimulating but enough to make his cock throb against you, still trapped in it's cloth confines.

"You're so cute when you squirm." You comment, tracing circles around one of his nipples. that sends him a step over the edge, and he starts to whine.

"Please, just- dont tease, I can't take it!"

"Oh, come on. You can take a little vibration, can't you? This is nothing, really. I can barely feel it."

"You aren't the one with a sensitivity spell on!" Chan's face is so red his anger is more cute than intimidating, and you reach over to pinch a nipple as a small punishment.

"Shh, you're fine. I know how it feels, you'll survive. Just relax and enjoy, okay?"

He shakes his head but doesn't say anything else, which could also be because you make the sensitivity spell spread down to his hips. He lets out a ragged breath, anticipation making him squirm.

"Tell me what you want me to do right now."

You didn't have to listen, but it would be nice to have a little guidance.

"I want you to grind down on me. You're so hot, and so close and-"

You do as he says, pressing your hips down onto his and moaning at the friction. Chan shoves his face into a pillow, ears almost glowing red.

"Like that?"

He nods, but doesn't show his face again. You tisk, reaching over to grip his jaw between your thumb and middle finger. You're not gentle as you turn his head back to face you, but his eyes roll back all the same.

"I asked a question, I expect a verbal answer."

He swallows hard, and you follow the movement of his Adam's apple with your nail just to watch him shudder.

"Y-yeah. Like that, please. Again."

You hum, pretending to consider the idea. You shift your weight from one knee to the other, just barely pressing down, and his whines sound like music.

"Do you deserve it?"

This seems to stump him. He opens his mouth, starts a sentence, but it dies on his tongue.

His eyebrows bunch up with frustration, such a cute and innocent expression for his current position.

"The- the serum. I don't think I can answer that."

You raise an eyebrow, but it does make sense. He's not allowed to lie, but he doesn't know what would make him deserving of it, so he can't tell the truth.

"Hm. I think you do. You've been good, besides not answering me."

His eyes light up, and you almost feel bad for climbing off of him.

His entire body slumps, and he scrambles up to try and chase you, even though you've only moved to sit beside him.

Still, you soothe him down with a firm hand on his chest and smile, letting him calm down.

"You said..."

He sounds so lost, so shocked, that you almost feel bad. As a consolation, you get to work.

Removing his pants and briefs isn't an issue - Chan is eager to raise his hips so you have better access.

And truly, no matter how much you pretend to be put together, all it takes is the sight of his dick to have you scrambling.

"Whoa."

Chan is big.

His cock is long and thick, curving up towards his navel and twitching, as if beckoning you closer. The tip is red and glistening with precum already, and your head moves on its own to lick it up.

Chan's entire body jolts, thighs tensing by your shoulders.

"Isn't this better than just grinding?"

Chan nods frantically before remembering your previous rule and stammering out a "Yes, so much better."

You take your time at first, tongue dragging up from his balls up to the tip, licking up the bead of precum the movement draws up. He's tangy and almost sweet, not at all bitter like you'd imagined.

The acknowledgement, even internally, that you've imagined how Chan tastes floors you, so you suck his tip into your mouth as a distraction.

Chan doesn't seem to have any words left as he devolves into whines and whimpers, hips pushing up into your mouth as best he can.

You try your best to keep his hips pinned down, but having his cock in your mouth is almost intoxicating.

He smells like heat and chestnuts and sex, and this feeling almost rivals some of the aphrodisiac potions you've made. Before you even realize it, your mouth falls open around him and he begins thrusting inside, one hand gripping the back of your head tightly.

You're not sure how he managed to start fucking your face without you even noticing, but you are absolutely not complaining.

Chan's pace is intense, careful, but far from gentle. The tip of his cock presses against your throat with every thrust, brushing against the roof of your mouth, and somehow you're moaning more than he is.

That's not to say that Chan wasn't moaning. On the contrary, Chan hadn't stopped making noise since the moment you wrapped your lips around him.

Muffled curses, choked off moans, and high pitched whines tumble out of his mouth like ashes across your skin, and it's all you can do to grip his thighs while he works himself up to the edge.

"Shit, shit. You're so beautiful. Fuck, so hot-" You can't help but moan at the praise, and the extra vibration pushes him over the edge.

He presses in deep and lets out a shout so loud it blocks out any other noise in the room, for a moment.

You swallow around him, but don't pull off. His cock feels nice in your mouth, filling it nicely even as he begins to soften.

He has to pull you off by the hair, because his insistent tapping on your shoulder doesn't make you move an inch.

You pout when he finally gets you off, eyes still looking at his cock with longing.

"You taste very good, in case you didn't know."

Chan laughs, embarrassed and spent, one hand over his face and the other on his chest.

"I do know. I've- I've tasted myself before."

That...

That image is too much. Way, way, way too much.

"Oh." You whisper, letting out a shaky laugh, deciding to shove that piece of information into the back of your mind.

You rest your head on one of his thighs and look up at him, smiling warmly. "You're very pretty."

Chan somehow blushes harder, peering down at you from between his fingers.

"So are you." There's something pained in his eyes, even past the blissful haze.

"What's wrong?"

He shakes his head, looking away, and you climb back up his body to lie next to him.

"C'mon. It's good that the truth serum's wearing off, but I want to know."

"I don't want this to end. But we can't. We can't do this again."

His voice cracks on the last word, but you're not sure how to reassure him. Chan was right, of course. He was the prince, he came here to fall in love with someone else. Doing any of this was a horrible idea, and the reality of that hits you like a truck.

"Ah. I... I understand." He looks at you, eyes glossy with unshed tears.

"No, its- I'm not rejecting you! That's not what this is, I- I swear, if I had a choice I'd- I'd court you properly, and we could actually be together."

You think about that, for a moment.

An idea springs up in your head, small, but quickly growing as you indulge it.

"What if... What if we could?"

Chan sits up, eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about? We can't."

You crawl off of the bed, rummaging through a drawer for a spell book. Chan watches you, baffled, but you don't pay him any mind as you flip through the worn pages.

"Aha! Look!" He gets up to read over your shoulder, but it's all written in scrawling lettering, most of it in Latin. "Don't read, just- This spell can disguise someone's appearance for an indefinite amount of time. If I change my appearance to look more like a girl, you could just marry me."

Chan blinks. Blinks again. Then he giggles, which turns into a laugh, and within seconds he's cackling and tugging you into his arms.

"You are amazing." He says, and you can't help but laugh too, squeezing him tight.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The next morning, glamored to look as feminine as your magic will allow and in your nicest dress, Chan presents you to his family.

He keeps a hand on you the entire time, on your back or your hip or your arm, and though his parents are hesitant, even they can't deny the way you look at eachother.

"Do you prefer summer or spring weddings?" His mother asks you, and your heart threatens to burst out of your chest.

"Spring."

#dahlia writes #stray kids #bang chan #skz chan #skz chan x reader #stray kids smut #chan smut #chan <3 #chan x reader #skz

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cartograffiti · 30 days

Text

April '24 reading diary

This month, I finished 9 books in a whole bunch of genres, some of which were fab!

I read a lot more nonfiction than usual this month, starting with On Looking: Eleven Walks with Expert Eyes. Alexandra Horowitz recorded her conversations with a variety of experts as they walked through neighborhoods looking for examples of their interests, from bugs to typography to whatever attracted her toddler son. Like some reviewers I saw, I was disappointed that not all the walks were in the same neighborhood, which had appeared to be the premise. I also strongly recommend listening to the audiobook, as I did, because some of the conversational wording transcribed from her recordings is unnatural or repetitive written out. Anyway, a lot of the chapters are interesting, and the general theme of appreciating different things about your area by choosing to key in on a thought is great. A pleasant book.

Two great nonfiction books about clothes: Cally Blackman's 100 Years of Fashion, and Behind the Seams by Dolly Parton with Holly George-Warren and Rebecca Seaver. Both books are about fashion in the 20th century and a little bit beyond, and both are huge, heavy books full of the most glorious, well-chosen photographs. Blackman's is nicely organized around themes and not strictly by year, showing not only high fashion, but also the clothes of counterculture scenes and working women. This is a great resource. Parton's book, of course, is about her own stage costumes, and some other clothes people have made for her. It's also a memoir of her changing style and the professionals who contributed to it. Lots of fun.

The best nonfiction book I read this month (and possibly in the past year) was Africa Is Not a Country: Notes on a Bright Continent by Dipo Faloyin. His written voice is exceptionally strong, able to explain large amounts of historical context without it ever feeling dry or overwhelming. Faloyin makes powerful breakdowns of historical misconceptions and contemporary stereotypes, includes a hugely funny "how-to" guide on writing an awful movie set in Africa, and draws memorable comparisons between political corruption in Western and African nations. There is a description of young men striving not to allow anyone outside their friend group to hold the highest offices in their country, phrased so that the final punch line is that they were talking about the United Kingdom that I think is one of the most effective freeform arguments I've ever read. I very much hope other people will pick this up.

On the fiction side, Dial A for Aunties by Jesse Q. Sutanto has been on my radar since it was new. I understand why it was such a hit, but I was disappointed! The book was advertised to me as a murder mystery and romance, neither of which I'd say is true. It's a family screwball comedy! It does that very well, but I got tired of the number of plot beats that required someone to be very silly indeed, and I was never sold on Meddy's logic in multiple plot threads. I don't think I'll read the next.

The short story collection Filthy Animals by Brandon Taylor is a mixed bag, like every short story collection in the world. I think he's very skilled on a technical level at creating characters with complete lives and histories implied in a short space, and some of them have interesting things to say about how people reach out, lash out, struggle with guilt and illness, and the problem of kitsch (not in the sense of knickknacks, but of the denial of shit). I do find the stories pretty bleak, and I was very unimpressed with the interconnecting elements. The stories that link are about Lionel, a test proctor who recently survived a suicide attempt, and several dancers, two of whom he begins a poly relationship with. Except for the first, these stories neither stand alone well nor build on each other as a sequence. The relationship is written with a dangerous, taboo edge, largely because these people never properly have any conversations about it, which I found irritating. I'm glad to be familiar with Taylor's work now, but I think he gets in his own way trying to shock in all of the weaker stories.

I also read a single Edith Wharton short story that I didn't realize wasn't a novel until I opened the ebook. It's the wonderful "Xingu," in which a ladies' intellectual lunch club finds themselves at a loss trying to talk to their superior and unfriendly guest, until their least popular member pipes up to ask a question about Xingu. They all follow her lead, trying all the while to infer what, exactly, Xingu is. Great little satire of how people want to look current more than they want to enjoy things.

I grabbed Heartstopper vol. 1 because I needed a banned comic for a challenge, and that's almost synonymous with being a popular LGBTQ+ comic for young people. Frustrated hand gestures. Anyway, this is very sweet, would be totally appropriate for middle schoolers as well (it's sold as YA), and I somehow hadn't realized before that Alice Oseman is the same person who did a webcomic about a band I used to read from time to time when I was younger. I would have liked this a lot more when I was a teenager myself, but it's nostalgic and happy, so I may read the rest.

I'm still reading Lymond and in early April I finished the 3rd of 6 books, The Disorderly Knights. I had a very messy response to this one! I did in fact enjoy it tremendously, and it's technically excellent, full of things that grabbed me and kept me excited to read more every night. I love my problematic bestie Francis and many of the people around him. It also most sharply of the series so far shows upsetting attitudes of Dunnett's by participating in '60s rape culture and Islamophobia that I went beyond being critical of to angry about. It simply wouldn't have been published like this now. I still gave it four stars and I may even go up to five when I have a better sense of how it fits in the long arc of the series. In a thinner or less tailored to me series, these feelings couldn't coexist, but they do, and that's very much shared by everyone else I've been talking to the books about. I'm really glad I have people to talk to them about! It's a long-standing but not very Online^tm fandom. I'm already halfway through the next book.

#reading diary #bookblr #April is the sweetest month of the year

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