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loudsuitlover · 4 years

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Doctor Harry X. Corto

A/N: This is just for those who care about The Golden Girls’ story too :) Thank you to everyone who reads and for the feedback. I really appreciate it!

J hangs the towel I let him on the line I set on my balcony. I set it myself because there’s something so comforting and relaxing for me about watching clothes hanging from the line. I think it reminds me of my Nana because she always seems to have something on the line. That’s crazy, really, because there was just my Nana and my Papa so it’s technically impossible that they had washing every day but that’s what I remember. It’s just costumbrist and I like it.

With his short blond hair still wet he takes a seat in front of Coco and me. He told us both the story between sobs and fits of crying on the way home. The bastard of David had dumped him forty minutes away by car from Grad because Jason told him he had gotten an acceptance letter from a hospital in New York. It’s for an internship in the summer, two months in New York learning Medicine. And the bastard, instead of being happy and proud, threw him out of the car. I’ve tried to keep it together and not tell him I’ve planned nine different ways of killing David and get away with it. He probably doesn’t need to hear that now. His green eyes are still bloodshot from all the crying but his breathing is back to normal. The warm shower did him good. He smiles when his eyes finally set on us.

“Thank you, guys, really. I don’t know what would have been of me without you girls.”

“Marie would have gone pick you up.” I tell him.

He smiles and nods but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

“How are you feeling?” Coco asks.

Jason gives her a look before he sighs and shrugs.

“Embarrassed.” He confesses. “And silly and humiliated.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to break up with him, obviously.” He raises his eyebrows at my question. “I mean I’m not even sure we’re still together. I should have told him about the internship sooner.”

“What?” I can’t believe him. “That has nothing- absolutely nothing to do with what he did. What he did was wrong and he’s sick. I mean, even if you had told him something wrong, which you didn’t, but even if you had told him- I don’t know that you had cheated on him- it doesn’t justify that he fucking dumped you in the middle of the highway, J!”

“I know. I’m not saying that.”

“You’re justifying him! Again!”

“I’m not!” He yells.

I know Coco is uncomfortable by the way she’s sunk down on her chair but I don’t care. Jason needs to hear this.

“Yes, you are! You keep trying to turn him into this guy he’s not!”

“You don’t know him, Indie!”

“That’s right! He doesn’t let us! He keeps trying to take you away from us! I mean what kind of boyfriend doesn’t try to get involved into his partner’s life! He’s never even tried to talk to me.”

“Well he knows you have an opinion.”

“Of course I have an opinion! He’s a violent abuser!”

“He suffered a lot when he was a child! Do you know what it’s like to be abandoned by your dad? No, you don’t!” He cuts me off when I’m about to talk. “And he’s good, he just has a bad temper and anger issues but he’s trying to get better, okay?”

“Is he? Is he even going to therapy?”

“He doesn’t believe in therapy…”

I chuckle a mad laugh of crazy woman.

“That’s what they all say, J. Abusers justify their abuse with a dark past and they made you feel sorry for them so they can still hurt you over and over. He’s manipulating you, can’t you see it? You have to take that idea of your mind that you’re going to fix him because you won’t! He needs help, professional help, and you can’t give him that. I’ll tell you more, you’re perpetuating his toxic behaviour by allowing it.”

“That’s rich coming from you. You’re just projecting Javier on him, but David is not Javier, Indie.”

“Yes, he is! And I know because you’re doing all the things I used to do! Don’t you remember? You told me to break up with him a thousand times and I didn’t because I loved him and I also thought he was good deep down because he could be sweet too but that was only him being manipulative too… And I thought he would change for me too, that he loved me… But… It’s not your responsibility to try to help someone who keeps hurting you. Moreover, you can’t even do it. This is dangerous for you and for him.”

“Don’t even try to pretend like you care about him.”

“Of course I don’t. I care about you. And I’m not happy with what happened to you today, Jason” I start seeing him blurry until I can’t see him anymore and so I wipe my tears away with my hands. “But you need to break up with him, he’s no good for you or for anyone and he needs to get his shit together. What he did to you today was sick, J. You cannot forgive that.”

I feel his arms wrapping around me before I take my hands away from my eyes. And he rests his chin on top of my head like he had done so many times before. JJ’s always been there for me. He was there when Dylan died and he was there during his funeral and during all the months that follow that seemed to be my own slow, never-ending funeral; and then he was there for me every time Javier would do something twisted and when I left him too. I wrap my smaller arms around his broad back and rest my ear against where his heart is, feeling that old familiar heartbeat.

“I love you, Indie.”

“I love you too.”

“Aww.”

Jason laughs and tilts his neck to see a teary Coco. My sister is so emotional all the time, just like my Mum. I feel his chest rumbling when he laughs.

“Get in here, Coconut.”

She smashes her face against mine and from the corner of my eye I can see her smiling with her eyes closed. She loves a hug, too.

We hear my Mum’s laughter before we hear our friends coming. She walked with them towards my wing.

“Baby, the girls are here.” She says on the door. “Coco and I are going out but order something for dinner for you guys.”

It’s not strange for me that my mum speaks English to me. Usually we speak Spanish but she always says she remembers how she felt when her English wasn’t that good and she would hear my dad’s family speak English and laugh but wouldn’t understand much. She says she doesn’t want our friends to feel like that.

“What time is it?”

I haven’t checked my phone all day.

“It’s 4 pm, honey.” She smiles. “Are you high?”

I roll my eyes at her and she giggles. She knows I’m not. Coco kisses Jason’s cheek before she gives a quick hug to Ollie and Marie and follow my mum outside.

“Hasta luego, Blue.”

“Bye, doofus.” My sister grins as she leaves.

Despite being twenty years old, sometimes she acts like she’s twelve. Marie and Ollie fight like a married couple about who locked the door when they went out before Ollie deploys an army of candy and junk food on the table. Jason looks at them amused.

“We brought the break up kit.” Olivia smiles.

“Because we’re breaking up with David Dick, aren’t we?”

My eyes widen at Marie and Olivia kicks her feet “discreetly”. Marie’s lips part and her eyes widen in horror of her realization too.

“Is that how you guys call him?” Jason tries to keep a straight face but the three of us see his hidden smile.

“You did say he had a big dick.” Ollie shrugs.

“And he’s a dick.” Marie adds.

Jason finally bursts out laughing. And the three of us join him before Olivia motions for us to hug him and the three of us surround him like he was an oak tree and we were trying to get positive energy.

Then the four of us sit on the table and eat chocolates and lollies without even realizing Jason and I haven’t even had lunch. Jason tells Ollie and Marie the full story and the two of them tell him David’s such a jerk and that not him neither anyone deserves that kind of treatment.

“Anyway what happened last night with Mario?” Jason asks Ollie.

I tilt my neck slowly so I’m facing my friend and she avoids my eyes looking down at the liquorice she’s eating. The last time we talked Mario was Mario who? and had clumsy hands. I suck my lips inside my mouth trying to hide my smile.

“So?”

“We didn’t have sex.” Ollie blushes.

“What?” The three of us ask in unison.

“It didn’t go well?” Jason asks.

“Wait, I need some context!”

“Right, you weren’t there.” Jason’s eyes widen.

“Mario came with Harry. Apparently they were together in O’Clock so when Harry said he was going Mario asked if he was going to see you and he said yes because apparently Harry’s got verbosity” Marie tells me and I chuckle. He really does sometimes. “And so he tagged alone in case you were with Ollie. Isn’t that romantic?” Marie looks at me like the heart eyed emoji and I smirk.

“But you were talking to that guy.” I interrupt.

“Well, we stopped talking.” She shrugs. “I don’t know what’s going on with your lips, Indie.” She points out all my hidden smiles. “But yeah then he came, we were drinking we danced, we kissed and I went home with him.”

Maybe he really does have clumsy hands and that’s why they didn’t have sex but then why is she leading him on?

“It didn’t go well after you left?”

“It was perfect.”

“Then?”

“It didn’t happen.” She shrugs.

There’s something going on with Mario for Ollie to act this way. I’ll ask Harry. Mario and Harry are friends and Harry’s nosy beyond believe. He’ll tell me.

“And you?” I ask Marie.

“What about me?”

“The redhead.” I smile.

“He burped.” She pouts as her eyebrows frown like Emile Clarke’s.

We all burst into laughter but she keeps pouting despite her growing smile.

“And you can’t judge me because you dumped Álvaro for no reason and he was so cute.”

“And Spanish.” Olivia adds.

Jason celebrates Álvaro’s nationality too and I roll my eyes. I don’t care that he’s Spanish. I mean I like meeting Spanish people because they remind me of my mum’s heritage and I can speak Spanish to them but there’s nothing else you know about a person if you know they’re Spanish. I mean you know where they were born. That’s it. Then for what is worth, every person is their own person.

“But you left with Harry, didn’t you?” Olivia’s eyes widen.

“Wait were you with Harry when I called in the morning?”

I nod.

“Shit, dude, I’m sorry! I didn’t know. I thought you guys had cut things off.”

“Yes, but a leopard never changes its spots.” Olivia shrugs.

I roll my eyes. My eyes set on Marie and I can read her disapproving expression.

“He offered to drive to get you in the morning.” I defend him. “And he…”

I was about to tell them about how he showered me with compliments but I decide that should stay between us. I don’t have to prove anything about him to Marie or to anyone else for that matter.

“That was sweet of him.”

Thinking about Harry makes me think I haven’t checked my phone all day. Maybe I should call him? Let him know everything’s fine? But what am I thinking? That he’s going to be waiting for me to tell him about my adventures with The Golden Girls? I blush at the idea.

“You’re not falling for Harry, are you?”

“What?” I frown. “No! Of course not! He’s such an idiot!”

Because he is. Sometimes. When he guesses things about me assuming I’m a posh bitch or when he tells me I have many flaws or when he pulls away for no better reason after confusing me with affection. Plus, he’s said it himself; it’s just sex.

“If only you felt something for him…” Marie adds.

Her words shock me.

“What?”

“Well if you were dating maybe the rest of doctors wouldn’t look down on you as bad as they will when they know about you two.”

“They won’t know.”

“They will too.”

“Does Harry burp, Indie?” Jason changes the topic, God bless him, and the three of us chuckle.

“Not in front of me, no.”

“But anyway I didn’t know about this redhead, Marie.” Jason wiggles his eyebrows but she just rolls her eyes.

“There’s nothing to know, Jason.” She sighs and rests her chin on her hand. “I need love, not burps.”

“You need to stop thinking your prince will arrive on a white horse and fuck some guy so you’ll forget about it.” Olivia tells her.

I laugh at her cheekiness.

“What Olivia’s trying to say” I correct “is that being single is also fun. You don’t need to have a boyfriend, Marie; but maybe your obsession with finding love is overshadowing it?”

Maria shakes her head.

“No, it’s not that. I know I don’t need a man but I just… I want to be in love, you know? And I want someone to love me. I’m tired of being alone…”

I give her a sympathetic smile.

“Don’t lose hope, Marie Anne” Olivia wraps an arm around her shoulders and rest her cheek on top of her head “it’ll come.”

“Love?”

She looks up at Olivia, confused that our less romantic friend says that. To be honest, I’m confused too.

“No, sillyhead, mind-blowing sex.” The three of us laugh. “Like the one Indie has with Harry.”

I chuckle and roll my eyes. She’s such an idiot. I don’t know why I’m laughing.

“Did you know he’s from Bellamond?” I tell them.

The three of them look at me with wide eyes and I tell them the little I know about him. Jason hands me my phone over.

“Talking about the devil…” He smirks.

I’ve never replied faster to a text.

Harry: How’s your friend?

Indie: A lot better, thank you.

“Look at that smile!” Jason teases and I swat him away playfully.

Indie: Thanks for asking.

Harry: No problem 😊 And you? How are you?

Indie: I’m good thanks

Harry: My blunt Indie

Indie: I’m not yours.

Harry: haha you’re so curt is even funny

Indie: I’m sorry I didn’t text you back before. I’ve been with my friends all day.

Harry: No problem.

Harry: What are you doing now?

Indie: We’re just hanging at my house

Harry: Would you like to have a drink?

Indie: All of us?

Harry: I mean it’s you I want to see but they can come too

“Aw, he’s adorable!”

When I lift my head from my phone, I see my three friends are behind me reading my texts. I blush and bring my phone to my chest covering the screen.

“Guys, you’re the worst!”

Jason stands up and walks towards my room. He comes back with his shoes on his hands.

“Tell him we’re coming and ask him for the location.”

“Yay!” Marie throws her head back. “Indie, do you have lipstick?”

“But you bite your lips a lot and stain your teeth!” Olivia reminds her.

“But what if Harry has a cute friend? Or what if the waiter is cute?”

Jason rolls his eyes and Olivia and Marie disappear on my bathroom in the search for my lipsticks.

“Are you sure you want to go?” I ask him.

“Damn right.” Jason smiles. “It’d only do me good.” He shrugs. “Plus we can’t leave your man like that.”

“Harry’s not my man.”

“Whatever.” He chuckles.

Indie: Where are you?

Harry: Cahoot

The pub is dark like the ones Jason likes and there’s quite a lot of people inside but it’s not suffocating. I spot Harry straight away. He’s leaning his elbow on the bar and is talking to Mario who gives us his back. I look at Ollie and find her talking to Marie and doing a scan of the bar, surely looking for possible prince charming for the brunette.

I wonder how I’m going to greet Harry. Should I give him a hug? Or a kiss? Or shake hands? His grin widens when he sees me as I reach him in the bar.

“Hello, Indie.”

I smile back. Okay so no hug, no kiss, no handshake.

“Hi there, Indie!” Mario seems happier to see me than Harry himself.

“Hi, Mario. How are you?”

“I’m good, good.” He smiles. “How are you?”

“I’m good too. Are you guys alone?”

Jason greets them both and so do Marie and Ollie. I notice the way Mario’s hand rests on Ollie’s lower back as he presses a kiss on her cheek but my friend looks away.

“No.” Mario shakes his head. “We’re on that table there. There’s a bunch of people from the hospital. You might know some of them.”

My eyes widen as I look at Harry. He knows I don’t want people to know we’re sleeping together in Uni but he just shakes his head and frowns as if dismissing Mario’s words. The Golden Girls order our drinks before we join them on the booths they have taken on a corner of the pub.

Harry’s got an empty spot beside him and I wonder whether he did that on purpose or whether it just was there because after his greeting I doubt he even wants to sit down next to me. I also notice, even from afar, the beautiful blonde sitting next to him. She’s everything I’m not. She’s thin, like, extremely thin actually, and her skin is paler than mine. She’s blonde but her hairstyle reminds me of my own, she has long opened bangs that skim her cheekbones just like me and her face is just perfect. Yeah, that’s the way to describe her, perfect. Her lips are full and pink and her nose is small and delicate and her eyes are olive green.

Olivia motions to Marie for her to sit down next to Mario so she doesn’t have to but Marie refuses to and even though I don’t agree with whatever the hell it is she’s doing with him, I take that seat before they give a scene- and so I don’t have to sit down next to Harry too. I see him frown from the corner of my eye.

“Hello, I’m Rose.” She’s nice too.

“I’m Indie.” I tell her.

“Indie?” Her green eyes widen. “Where does it come from?”

“It’s… It’s a colour.” My face contorts in embarrassment. “My name’s Indigo Blue. And it’s my mum’s favourite colour. She’s a painter.”

“Wow!” Rose smiles. “That’s so cool.”

From the corner of my eye I see Harry smiling next to her. Olivia sat down next to Harry eventually but he isn’t paying any attention to her and he must be the first man to ever do that. Instead, his eyes are on me the entirety of the night.

We all talk about music and Mario seems interested in Extremoduro. I tell him about them and about my favourite Spanish artists and he asks me stuff and even gets his phone out to type down the songs I tell him. See? He’s such a nice guy. I widen my eyes at Olivia and point at him every time he says something cute but she just gives me warning looks and cuts the air in front of her throat threatening to kill me.

Marie wants to dance and she takes Ollie with her who’s dying to get out of the table anyway. Jason’s been chatting to another two guys about God knows what and Harry’s been mostly quiet even though as nosy as he is I suspect he’s been eavesdropping every conversation on the table. Rose’s chatted to him some too but she’s also been talking to another girl who’s sitting in front of me. I think her name is Cris.

My eyes meet Harry’s but I quickly look away and turn to Mario yet his brown eyes are set on Olivia as she dances. I look at my friends too before I give him a sympathetic smile.

“Olivia is…” I start.

“Incredible.” He cuts me off.

I smile. Yeah, that too. But I wasn’t going to say that.

“Where did you go when you guys had dinner?”

That seems like a good way to start coming around it. I normally wouldn’t be so meddling but alcohol removes my inhibitions like autumn takes the leaves of a tree. I rest my elbow on the table and then my cheek on my hand so I stop taking glances at Harry from the corner of my eye.

“We went to this Indian restaurant she suggested...” His brown eyes narrow as he thinks about the name.

My blood freezes on my veins.

“The Siddharta?” I fear.

“Yeah!” He smiles. “That’s the one.”

“Oh.”

“You know it too?” He chuckles. “She seems to go there so much even the waiter knew her.”

“Jack?” I can’t believe her.

“Yes.” He looks at me as if we were very strange people. “You guys love Indian food, don’t you?”

“Yes, we do.” I try to hide how angry I am. “I’m gonna order another drink, you want one?”

“I’m fine, thank you. Do you want me to go with you?”

Stop being such a good guy! Olivia’s gonna hear me.

“No, that’s fine. Thanks.” I give him a smile.

I need another drink. Especially because I need to calm down before I yell at Olivia. I don’t know why it bothers me so much that he’s using Mario like that. Well, yes I know; because that’s not what you do to people and I don’t want my friends to be terrible people. My frown feels heavy as I wait for my Bulldog gin and tonic.

“That was an interesting seat choice.”

Harry’s voice makes my belly flip. I swallow at his proximity.

“Your greeting choice was also interesting.”

I shut my eyes internally but on the outside I just look away from him. Why am I such a bigmouth when I drink? When I look back at him, he’s grinning. He presses his body against mine and corners me against the bar.

“Did my girl want a especial greeting?”

“I’m not your girl.” I frown.

“Then why do you want a special greeting?” He’s still grinning.

“Because… Well, because, you said you wanted to see me so…”

“So?” I want to slap that stupid grin out of his face.

“So I was expecting…” I bring my hand to my forehead but mostly to protect my face from his because I’m desperate to kiss him. “Actually, I don’t know what I was expecting.”

“Well” He tacks a strand of hair behind my ear “I, on the other hand, can tell you I was expecting you to sit next to me.”

“You seemed busy.” I look away again.

What am I doing? I can’t be jealous. Wait, am I jealous? What the hell am I doing? I need to get out of here.

“I gotta go.”

But his fingers lift my chin and his lips press against mine. I drink from his mouth contently and my breath catches on my throat when I feel his tongue parting my lips. His hands snake around my waist and he pulls my body to him as we kiss and my hands find the back of his neck.

“Hello, baby.” He smiles against my lips.

He’s intoxicating.

“Hello.”

“You said you didn’t want people from the hospital to know.” He shrugs. “That’s why I didn’t kiss you.”

“No, yeah, you’re right. I am just drunk.”

I don’t know why I said that. I don’t mean that. I wanted that kiss and I would kiss him again, drunk or not. But I don’t want things between us to get… complicated.

“As lovely as usual.”

“I need to talk to Olivia.”

“Fine.”

He moves aside so I can walk away from him and towards my friends, already angry and anxious. When I reach them, they’re both dancing to some lame background song and of course they’re the centre of attention of a group of guys.

“Olivia” I grab her elbow and push her even farther away from Harry’s friends “why did you go to The Siddharta with Mario?”

Her pink cheeks confirm my suspicion. From the corner of my eyes, I can see Marie’s lips parting as she stares at Olivia too. I let her talk even though I know the answer.

“It’s a good restaurant.”

“You don’t like Indian food.”

“I thought he might like it..”

“You went there to get Jack jealous?” She swallows and looks away from me. “Olivia! It’s been a year!”

“I saw him the other night.” She explains. “I… He was with her and they went to my dad’s jeweller’s. He did that on purpose.”

“And you played his game?”

“What did you want me to do, Indie? I just wanted to get back to him! And I was going to go out with Mario anyway. The only thing that changed was the place.” She shrugs.

“Is that why you keep leading him on? You said he had clumsy hands and that you didn’t like him and you went home with him last night. Do you just want him there so you can get your ex jealous?”

“Indie, this is none of your business.” She looks away from me but her lips are set on a thin line.

“Well someone has to tell you you’re acting like a bitch.”

“What? I’ve had enough, Indigo. Go fuck yourself or better be the canned vagina you are these days.”

Her words freeze me to the spot and I feel a hurricane unleashing on my chest until it reaches my throat. I can’t believe she just said that. She’s been doing this fuck-and-leave thing for a year now and not even once I’ve judged her and now she throws this at my face? Is that what she really thinks of me? Is that what Harry thinks too? Is that even what I am?

I walk away before she sees me crying, I won’t give her the satisfaction and I don’t stop walking until I’ve turn the corner. I left my jacket inside and it’s rather cold now but I’ll text Marie to grab it for me.

I’ve never been punched on the throat but I reckon this is how it must feel like. It’s hard to breathe and I feel betrayed, beaten and dirty. I walk home. My tears keep rolling freely down my cheeks while my mind goes into a frenzy.

Jason’s words resound in my mind “you’re not falling for Harry, are you?” No, of course, I’m not. We have nothing in common, other than Medicine, but that’s in no way reason enough and he’s nothing like what I... I’m not looking for that. Now or ever.

And then it hits me why it bothered me to see him with that Rose girl. It wasn’t jealousy, it was just the fact that I’m not ready to be a canned vagine. I mean I thought I didn’t care at all that he would be with other girls and I don’t think I do but for him to be with other women and for me to see that are two different things. The fact that he called me and told me to come over even if he didn’t event plan on kissing me, then why the hell did he call me if he was with other girl?

The thought that he might have wanted a threesome with Rose and me flahes through my mind like a falling star. He’s clearly into sex in a way I might not be ready for. He probably has done it before too and maybe that’s what he wants from me now.

My head aches too and I feel it dull and full and suddenly I feel so tired and cold and I just want to cover my head with my blanket and cry myself to sleep.

That’s what I do.

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enbycalicocat · 3 years

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Day 3: 29th of January, 2021

The day had finally come.

Not like he'd been anxiously waiting or anything. Well, he had been anxious, and he had been anxious while waiting. But not in that way. Not like there was anything wrong with his house in Busset or his family and friends. In fact, he had no reason at all to move.

Other than ambition.

He wanted to dance in the capital.

There were many great opportunities in Busset, yes. And it was a lovely city, yes. He definitely was not doing this because he thought going to the capital was the only way to make a living out of his passion, contemporary dance. He could easily do what he loved from the safety and comfort of his home town. But that was the thing. Jimmie didn't want safety and comfort. He wanted to explore. He wanted to see the world. He wanted to try new things.

And the first step towards that second dream of his was moving to the capital. That would be the first piece of world he'd see. It wasn't much, but it was something, and he had to start somewhere.

"All packed?" The door to his room creaked and a few soft steps sounded on the wood floor, taking Jimmie out of his mind.

He turned around and found his little brother Jily standing dejectedly by the door to his room. Jimmie smiled softly and opened his arms. Immediately, a little body collided against his and Jimmie wrapped his arms around it. Jily hiccupped and Jimmie started whispering nonsense to soothe his little brother.

To tell the truth, Jily was supposed to be at school right now. But the whole moving away thing had hit him so hard that he'd gotten physically sick. It hadn't been too bad or too serious so far, just headaches and stomachaches, but today he'd been throwing up nonstop. Jimmie's parents had been forced to call the school and notify them that Jily wouldn't be going that day. The boy's teachers knew Jimmie and knew he was leaving today, so they probably knew what Jily's sickness was all about. But they just said they hoped Jily got better. Didn't even ask to see a doctor receipt tomorrow. And good thing too. Because Jily was just so sad he made himself sick, and doctors couldn't detect or cure that.

"I don't want you to leave," Jily sobbed as his hands clutched Jimmie's shirt tightly. "Please Mimi. Don't leave. Please."

Jimmie was convinced this boy wanted to kill him. Cause of death: a broken heart.

He held back his tears and his feelings and smiled gently as he pulled back. Jily stared at him with big doe eyes, shiny and watery, his cheeks stained with old and new tears. He used his thumbs to wipe the tears as best as he could.

"Come on Jiji, don't be like that." His tone betrayed nothing, but inside he was begging. For all his little brother loved him and was doing this with good intentions, he was making it harder and harder for Jimmie to leave. "You know I'll be back. Thanksgiving and New Years are right around the corner. I bet the company will let us go visit our families. Just wait a few months and I'll be able to come see you."

Jily somehow seemed to see or perceive the begging Jimmie had been doing in his heart, and he stepped back and used the back of his hand to wipe what was left of his tears furiously.

"Alright Mimi," he said, meeting Jimmie's eyes for all of five seconds before he lowered his head because he was getting teary again. "I'll be waiting for you, so you better come visit us, okay?"

"Sure thing, Jiji." Jimmie gave him another smile, a radiant one this time, because he was proud of his little brother. Everyone and their mother could see that Jily was trying to be 'mature' and an 'adult' and that he was failing terribly.

God, Jily was already entering that 'I'm a grown up at fifteen and too cool for this world' phase of adolescence. And Jimmie wouldn't be here to tease the living daylights out of him.

Let's not continue that train of thought, okay? More importantly, shouldn't we be leaving soon?

"Jims," a low male voice rang through the room. "It's time son. Grab your luggage and let's get going or you might miss the bus.

Jimmie nodded and looked at Jily again. The boy, well, teen really, was staring at him with those red watery eyes again.

Please don't ask me to stay. I really might agree if you do.

"I hope you have a good time at the capital Mimi." Jily's voice was breaking all over the place but he held Jimmie's eyes and tried his best not to cry again. At least while Jimmie was still in the house. "Really. I hope you meet lots of nice people and make good friends, and dance a lot, and have fun, and love whatever you're going to be doing from now on."

Man, Jimmie would've almost preferred Jily cried again and asked him not to go. These words felt even more heartbreaking.

"I-I..." Jily's voice cracked and he had to take a deep breath and swallow before he could continue. "I ho-hope you're very loved and appreciated over there. And if you're not, then don't think about it twice and come right back home." Jily's eyes hardened and he took on a firm tone. Jimmie was shocked. He'd never seen his brother like this. "Because here you have people that do love you, and you have people that do appreciate you, and you have no need to be there. If they ever treat you badly, if they ever... I don't know, do something that hurts you in anyway, do not feel like you have to take it because there's no other option. There is another option. Remember that."

The teen stared Jimmie down like his life depended on it, no wavering; almost cracked his ribs with the fiercest hug he'd ever received; and then proceeded to walk out of the room with the same firmness.

Jimmie and his father stared at Jimmie's bedroom door, both dumbfounded and impressed.

"Wow..." Jimmie said quietly.

"I know, right?" Jimmie's father turned to look at his eldest son. "I've been raising him for fifteen years now and I didn't know he had that in him. I guess it's true that you never really know everything about a person."

Jimmie snorted and his father smiled. The serious atmosphere dissipated just like that.

They brought down Jimmie's bags and drove to the bus station. The car was silent as though no one was in it, even though mother, father and oldest son were there. No words were left to be said. No other topics came to mind. All the three could think about was that one verb: leaving.

They arrived at the bus station right as Jimmie's bus was preparing to depart. There was a long queue of people waiting to leave their luggage and board, but Jimmie didn't go immediately. After all, the seats were numbered. There was no need to rush. He turned to look at his parents and they both had the same red watery eyes as Jily.

"Listen to your brother. He was right with what he said. Do not let yourself be mistreated, Jims. You have another option."

Before Jimmie could think of something to say or some awkward joke to make, his father grabbed him by the arms and stared him down. For obvious reasons, his stare was by far more intimidating that Jily's.

Even though his mother hadn't been there to hear what her youngest son had said, she nodded with teary eyes.

"Give it your best. Put your whole heart into this project. Don't give up without a good fight even if it get's hard. But honey, remember you have a home to come back to."

Jimmie's eyes started itching and his throat got tight, but he fought it back.

Not yet, hold it a little longer.

Not trusting his voice Jimmie nodded firmly. They weren't a poor starving family that depended on his success to survive. There was no sob story here. No need for Jimmie to endure insults and abuse. He knew it well, and he would make sure to keep it in mind.

The three hugged one last time. Jimmie boarded his bus, his parents begun walking towards their car. They knew their eldest son, and knew that he really needed space right now. So, even though they wanted to stay until the bus left, they didn't because this particular son of theirs liked to cry in private.

Jimmie sat down, pulled his cap down low, and pulled the hood of his sweater on over it. That was when the first tear began to roll down his cheek. Many more followed and he tried his best to hold in his sobs. He didn't want the person sitting next to him to hear him.

The bus started moving and Jimmie tensed so fast his muscles literally hurt. Surreptitiously, he looked over at the seat next to his. It was empty. He rekaxed all at once and let out a long shaky and hiccupy exhale. Thank God for small mercies. No that he began full out sobbing, but he was a lot less tense and on guard while he cried. Jimmie looked out the window at the moving scenery as he thought about what he was leaving behind, about what he hoped awaited him at the capital, about why he was leaving in the first place.

Never once had it occurred to him that leaving, exploring, seeing the world, would hurt this much.

He hoped fervently that it got easier as the years went by.

Prompt: 3. Write about leaving home.

Previous Day Next Day

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gummylovekingdom-blog · 7 years

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Soon, the Photoshops will end.

The title of this has multiple meanings regarding my life, right now. I primarily aimed it at the Photoshopped pictures of me and Alex, but it can also mean a number of things in my life; my feelings of love becoming realized when we finally meet in person, my life finally lighting up to what I know it will become once we move out to California. Any of my painful memories will forever be a part of me, but they will be locked up and left behind in KY when we do leave. Essentially, the façade will disintegrate and all there will be pure bliss/joy/happinss... I’m sure my mood & motivation will change positively afterwards, thus, the Photoshops are going to end.

...and then there’s the Photoshopped pictures of Alex and I. If anyone is reading this but doesn’t yet understand why we Photoshopped us with the appearance of being in person together, then this is the right place to be reading. When I was younger, I used to use Photoshop to change imagery to what I wanted it to be. I eventually became tired of that and instead began using it for enhancing the artwork I made, not thinking I would ever really use it to manipulate real images. But when Alex sent me the first playful image of us Photoshopped together, I smiled. I realized, for the millionth time, that Alex is a LOT like me when it comes to pictures and what makes him happy. In response, I sent him back a Photoshopped picture that I made, giving the impression that he and I were hugging each other in person.

Once enough pictures were posted on my Facebook Timeline, I know for a fact a few people unfriended me. I’m not sure if it was because some still didn’t want to accept that my ex and I weren’t together any longer and were just kind of done with me, or if they were just sickened by the image of me expressing my love and desire to be with the person I’m in love with. If it was because they were images of me being with another man, then I’m glad they unfriended me to begin with, because that instantly tells me they don’t support me, and I don’t want them in my life anyway!

We made some pretty convincing Photoshops (I’ll leave it to you to find them in my image folders on Facebook), and I’m proud of many we have created. I can’t even count how many we’ve shared with one another, but I view them as beautiful.

The entire reason we continued making images like these was because we were making the best of the situation; it was art in the sense that we were creating--manifesting--what we desired in life... to be together, in person, with one another. We want to hold hands. Gaze into each other’s eyes. Hold one another in our arms. Feel the other’s warmth. Sit at the Beach with nothing but the wind in our hair, sun on our skin and hear nothing but the sound of the ocean waves, blocking out everything else.

...but we couldn’t have that. We are 2,000 miles away and yet had no means to even meet in person. so ...that’s what we created in these images; they were filling the gap that existed between us, and brought us closer in the end. Each time we sent one to the other, we turned red and smiled really big and were very happy. Many people think it’s a silly thing to do and a waste of time. I guess you could view it as such, but it made us happy and it is a little placeholder for us eventually meeting in person.

And, if you’ve read this far into this note, Alex and I have some exciting news to share.

...we’re vowing to re-create most of these Photoshopped images to the best of our ability, being as faithful as we can to the originals. Taking into account the context of some of the pictures, we can’t replicate all of the images. Hell, we don’t even have some of the clothes in them, nevermind the environments which are in God-knows-where ...probably other countries, haha.

Nevertheless, it will be a fun, exciting project to partake.

I have one last piece of news to share with everyone (if you’ve read THIS far):

Alex and I, as far as I understand it on this day, September 30, 2017--our 1 year and 1 month anniversary--will officially meet in person on OCTOBER 11, 2017!!!!! It will be recorded on video, there will be tears & SOBBING of joy coming from me... and I will upload & share it with my Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr and YouTube accounts as soon as I’m able to. ...I’m almost thinking we should do a Facebook Live, too, since that’s a popular thing, nowadays... Should we? We’re definitely recording a hard copy, and idk if we’ll have a 2nd person available to also stream lol. Or it’s entirely possible I’m planning this out WAY to meticulously and need to just stop. Omg I need to remember to buy some flowers!! *Squeals*

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sueboohscorner · 7 years

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The Vampire Diaries S8, Ep. 8 "We Have History Together" #TVD

When last we saw the Salvatore brothers, they were headed out of Mystic Falls to carry out their mission for Cade: collecting the souls of evil-doers. Note the word “evil-doers,” because it’s a twist on the original mission Damon had been sanguine enough being part of; the original mission was collecting evil people’s souls, but Stefan’s new marching orders are to lure otherwise good people into committing even one evil act. It’s entrapment on a cosmic level, and Stefan is gung ho. Damon is clearly conflicted.

This week begins at an anger management support group meeting. Where better to find a person with evil in their heart, right? But the test they employ in this scene is flawed, to my mind. They ask a guy if he would rather see someone else from the group die, or if he would accept dying in their place. I don’t think that’s a measure of evil so much as one’s will to live. Most people wouldn’t choose to die in the place of some random acquaintance. (I mean, would they? Am I just more evil than the average? I suspect that most people, given time to consider their answer–and compelled to answer honestly, wouldn’t agree to die in place of someone they don’t deeply care for. Doesn’t mean they wouldn’t make a split-second choice to jump in the way to protect someone on instinct, definitely doesn’t mean they wouldn’t give their lives for their loved ones. Again with the weird morality on this show!)

Anyway, Damon dutifully kills the guy who said he’d rather live than die for his support group confidants, but when he looks up, he sees that Stefan has killed the entire rest of the group in that same time span. (He can’t have drained them all that quickly; Rippers are wasteful!) He chastises Stefan, but Stefan brattily points out that he didn’t rip their heads off, so he’s still in control of his Ripper tendencies. Um, whatever you say, bro.

Back home in Mystic Falls, Caroline is heading back to high school for an assignment. She describes it as being “embedded,” and for a moment, I wonder if they’re doing a Never Been Kissed (they’re not). She sits down in history class and asks how they like their history teacher. Somehow, she doesn’t get immediately terrified at how worshipful they are toward this new teacher…who of course turns out to be Sibyl.

Sibyl rolls her eyes at Caroline’s aggressive reaction and reminds her that she’s massively outgunned on every level. She states the obvious (that she is responsible for Caroline’s being assigned here in the first place), then illustrates the stakes by way of a demonstration: She can psychically kill any of these students in an instant. Caroline has no choice but to go along on the class trip.

Matt Donovan is still gamely sticking around town to be supportive and badass. Man, I love this guy. He heads over to the Armory to check in with Dorian (whom I will finally stop calling “the other intern,” now that he is in on the truth and actively involved in the plot). Dorian is getting some assistance from a local who has some key information they need…of course, it’s Peter Maxwell, aka Daddy Donovan. Man, screw this guy.

Damon awakens in a hospital bed, vervain weakening him through an IV drip. Stefan is quite sinister and smug about Damon’s predicament: unable to fight, flee, or compel anyone, Damon must simply lie there and take what comes. Stefan has another surprise for Damon; he tells him all about the doctor who will be checking on him: a pretty young brunette whose parents died tragically…of course, you can see where this is going. Her name is Tara, and she is a major league do-gooder, deeply involved with the organ transplant program, knows the names and stories of those in dire need by heart…so she’s ripe for Stefan’s spoil-the-good mission. And her resemblance to Elena makes it extra fun for him, as it allows him to torment Damon just a bit along the way.

Stefan is going to mess with this doctor’s mind and test her moral compass, and vervain-weakened Damon can’t do a thing to interfere.

Stefan turns on the charm with the doctor, softening her up with his mega-watt smile, then inviting her in on a private moment with his vaguely mournful gaze as he questions whether his selfish brother even deserves to be saved…especially when you consider all the innocent people in need of organ transplants at this very moment. Because he doesn’t have his humanity right now, he can’t tell when he’s going too far–he actually tells the doctor he’s been looking on the website where the top-priority transplant patients are listed, and he mentions a specific name. This is the moment where any sane person would recognize he’s a nutter who actively wants to see his brother die…and Dr. Tara disengages from him emotionally, telling him that she “can’t think like that,” because a doctor has to look at every life as equally worth saving.

Realizing he pushed too hard and is losing this one, Stefan cheats and compels her a little, leaving her with the implanted belief that Damon is actually the drunk driver responsible for her parents’ deaths. Suddenly, she has some skin in the game, and her Hippocratic oath is a little more abstract. I wonder if the cheat is entirely kosher, per his arrangement with Cade…Cade’s whole approach with Stefan was about Stefan’s charm, not his compulsion skills. But results are results, probably, when you’re dealing with the devil.

Dr. Tara goes in to talk to Damon, and you can see in her face, she’s already made up her mind to kill him. She’s not proud of her feelings, but she’s giving in to them. He feebly begs her to listen to him, to not do this thing, but she injects an air bubble into his IV line.

In the hospital parking lot, Stefan approaches Dr. Tara. She is understandably shaken when Damon joins them. Stefan gloats. Damon looks miserably resigned but also a touch less sympathetic to the woman who just blithely murdered him.

So, this week’s Mystic Falls history lesson is about the town’s origins. Caroline parrots the story she’s always heard about the Gilberts, Fells, Forbes, Lockwoods, and Salvatores in 1860, and Sibyl says, Nope! She doesn’t want to talk about the “story” of Mystic Falls, rather its actual history, which has been whitewashed by the so-called founding families…right down to the part where they call themselves the “founding families,” because they didn’t “found” the town so much as they found an existing town and claimed it as their own. Sibyl has brought the class and Caroline out to the site where 100 witches were burned at the stake in 1790. This, she says, is the true history of Mystic Falls.

The students are doing some incidental busywork in the background, and Caroline briefly asks about it but is ultimately distracted by Sibyl’s lesson about the witches and a gifted metalworker in town working together on a big project of great mystic significance…and oh by the way, I’m going to need you to find me a relic from that project, and if you don’t, these kids are all going to burn at the stake. Yep, while she had Caroline talking history, the kids have carried out their brainwashed instructions to build a network of stakes, tie each other up in groups, douse everything with fuel, and light a torch.

Caroline quite reasonably asks how the hell she’s supposed to know where to find this artifact, and Sibyl identifies it as the charter bell that is part of the parade through town every year on Founders’ Day…except not really, because the current bell is a replica. The original was tossed off Wickery Bridge years ago (by deadbeat dad Peter Maxwell, incidentally). The bridge connection is why she’s leaning on Caroline; Sheriff Liz Forbes, while dragging the river to retrieve the bodies of Elena’s parents, also discovered the bell. It was last seen at the Forbes home, among Liz’s effects.

Speaking of effects, Damon’s were given to Stefan at the hospital, Elena’s necklace among them. He suspects the necklace is the reason Damon isn’t having as much fun as he is, that Damon is clinging to Elena and thereby his own humanity. He bullies Damon into tossing the necklace out the car window, then, of course, into killing the Elena-ish Dr. Tara, sending her soul on to Cade.

Back in Mystic Falls, we’re getting another angle on the story of the gifted metalworker who created the bell back in 1790. His last name: Maxwell. That’s right, Bad Dad has a whole sob story about how he’s descended from real Mystic Falls history, and he coulda been a contendah, but those crappy rich people showed up and told the Maxwells, Hey, you make great bells and stuff, so we’d like to hire you, but we’ll never invite you to our fancy parties, because we’re rich and you’re not. And somehow this led to Peter Maxwell feeling cheated out of his shot at happiness 200 frickin’ years later, as if the world owes him something because his ancestors were merely respected and sought after craftsmen rather than part of the social elite. It’s gross, and once again, I’m thinking how lucky Matt Donovan is that his lousy father wasn’t around to poison his young mind with bitterness, resentment, and baseless entitlement.

Sibyl and Caroline dig through boxes at the Forbes home. Of course, instead of finding the bell, they find a note from Seline, taunting Sibyl over the bell. Ha! If we are stuck with Sibyl, whom we can’t do a thing to harm or even annoy, at least we’re getting an occasional assist from her pissed off sister.

But Sibyl is petty…she psychically triggers the torch-holding student to set the pyre alight. As Caroline’s rage shows, Sibyl reminds her, you know you can’t kill me, and by the way, I may or may not have a psychic link with your daughters that would destroy them if anything ever did happen to me. Crap.

Matt and Peter just barely free all the students in time, and then we get a final lame guilt trip from Peter, telling Matt not to walk away from family, because it’s the worst mistake I ever made, blah blah blah. Whatever, Bad Dad. I mean, Matt is such a quintessential good guy, he’ll probably be a little conflicted about this and give you a chance, but I sure wouldn’t.

The day after tossing the necklace from the car window, Damon sneaks back to look for it. He admits that he’s not even sure why he wants the necklace, but it makes him feel better to have it.

Reunited with his memento of Elena, Damon goes to rejoin Stefan. Unfortunately, he finds a massacre of headless bodies–Stefan has gone full Ripper.

#The Vampire Diaries #the cw #Friday night TV shows #Damon Salvatore #Stefan Salvatore #Caroline Forbes #Matt Donovan

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