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hongism · 8 months

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mists of celeste ➻ 50

➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, smut ➻ word count: 17.1k ➻ rating: M ➻ warnings: language ➻ summary: Months into your stay aboard The Horizon, it becomes apparent that things are not as cut and dry as you thought, and that you might have bitten off more than you could chew with this crew.

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──────────── act seven ➻ part two

The transport can barely hold the entirety of your crew as it stands now — your extra guests included — and it makes for a rather cramped setting. Part of that feeling could be due to how San stands close to you still, his hand overlapping yours on the handle hanging down from the ceiling of the vehicle as you stick to the edges where it gives you a clear view out the windows. Hongjoong’s figure lingers in your peripherals, seated not far from where you’ve parked yourself, but as the rest of the crew fidgets to make themselves comfortable, San shifts to block your line of sight with the captain. You turn to the right and look across the transport. Mirroring you on the opposite end stands both Berserkers, but it’s Mingi who you make direct eye contact with. In a movement that’s invisible to all but prying eyes, he shakes his head every so slightly left and right.

It’s a pointless gesture, as you had already settled to resign yourself to the fate Hongjoong laid out for you in this mission. Maybe he’s simply warning you against fighting back again. Maybe he’s answering some unknown question you haven’t even thought to ask yet. He knows more than he lets on, that much is true, and now you know it for certain given his presence at the pinnacle of your humiliation thus far.

You’ve been asking yourself what your defiance is for a great many times since sharing that conversation with him, however, for better or for worse. The answer is always the same anyway.

The transport lurches as it moves off the dock. Far below, the waters running through the gorge glisten with the sunshine reflecting off its surface. Though a vibrant bright green, the color appears more milky than it is clear even at this distance, and thick tendrils of fog paint the darker corners of the base of the gorge. A far cry from the beauty you saw waiting across the dock, what lies below doesn’t look at all inviting.

Beside you, San is picking at a loose thread on his form-fitting top, and you lightly swat his hand away from the spot before he pulls a hole in the fabric.

“Hey,” he murmurs just quietly enough to avoid prying ears.

“Hey,” you echo back. Silently, you push your body closer to his until you’re close enough to feel his breath on your skin.

“Nervous?”

“A bit.”

San presses his cheek against the side of your head.

“Just like any other mission. You’ve got this.”

“One without you. And Seonghwa.”

San tuts gently as he leans further down to your ear. “But with Jongho and Mingi.” He passes you as reassuring a smile as he can manage, and it does little to ease the bundle of nerves coiling in your gut. Your brief time in the open air on this planet was enough to make your skin crawl and itch. “I would go if I could,” he continues, and his gaze flits like he wants to look back over his shoulder at his captain but thinks better of it at the last second.

The barge lurches to a halt, and you lay a hand against San’s jacket to keep yourself steady when your body threatens to throw you backward. He covers your fingers with his own, remaining that way until everyone has filed out of the transport. A man stands beside the doors, though he isn’t much of a friendly face with the way a scowl seems to be permanently etched into his features. He shoves something into your hands and then into San’s before slapping the side of the transport to signal for the doors to shut.

“Remember protocol unless you’re looking to be outta your damn minds!” he yells across the small crowd that forms your crew. One glance down shows you that he’s handed you a gas mask, and everyone around you bears a matching one. He wears one similar, bound around his neck with a clasp that must be like the one attached to the back of yours. San silently takes it from your grasp and brings it up and around your neck — a crude echo of a romantic gesture one might do with a real necklace. “Masks up when the church bell rings three times at night, no later than that. Kid’ll need a smaller one from one of the stalls in the market, so be sure to get ‘im one before nightfall. As for where you stay at night, be sure to find some reputable spot with air filters. Otherwise, you’ll be wanting to wear them masks while you sleep too.”

“Gas masks and air filters…” you mutter as you thumb over the item now attached to your neck. “What’s up with this place?” San hums and steps to your side. He falls into step alongside you, and in that same moment, Yeosang deigns to turn where he stands and look you over.

“Natural hallucinogens in the air. They come up from the water below. When the sun is out, you will be unaffected because the heat from the sunlight prevents the toxins from spreading beyond the water so much, but once the sun sets, it becomes potent enough to enter your bloodstream and settle in your system. At that point, you wouldn’t be able to tell reality from whatever fantasy your mind conjures up for you.”

Your fingers tighten around the gas mask.

"What a lovely vacation spot for us then," San grumbles.

However, despite that inherent danger now looming over your head, the town ahead is quite visually stunning, and its intrigue only grows as you walk into the streets alongside the crew. Hongjoong, of course, hangs near the front as both your captain and the one who knows where you're all headed. Jongho and Yunho drift back to where you and San walk close enough to touch hands, but neither one of you makes the move to do so. It's sharply contrasted to how Wooyoung walks beside Yeosang a few steps away, with such little space between them that their shoulders overlap and Wooyoung's feet threaten to collide with Yeosang's at every step. Cute, in a sense, and a welcome sight given the falling out you had witnessed some time ago now, but it still lingers in your memory every time you look at them interacting. Off to your right, Mingi has found a place beside Luca, and on the other side stand the other three recent additions to your crew. It only leaves one unaccounted for, but the soft sounds of footsteps behind you give you a clear enough idea as to where Seonghwa is.

You've been refused the pleasure of sensing his emotions since your more explosive fight. Though you haven't done the same to him in return; if anything, you hope that he can feel the sharp edges of your anger each time you look at him.

You must be scowling now at the mere thought of the man because San’s fingers dance across your knuckles before securing his index finger around your pinky — a display of affection discreet enough to hide from prying eyes.

“I don’t like the vibes of this place,” Yunho mutters from a few steps ahead of you. He coughs as you pass by a pillared torch that burns purple flames and opaque smoke across the streets. Given their multitude on either side of the cobbled roads, you’d make the safe assumption that these are meant to be street lamps to light the streets, minus the electricity, and it would make a good amount of sense for the atmosphere to shift the color of the flames in some manner. Though there hardly seems any need for the lights when you were so adamantly warned against setting foot outside after dark, unless the natives ignore such warnings for themselves.

“This is where we’ll be staying for the duration of our stay here!” Hongjoong’s voice booms back across the group, and when he turns around to face his crew, your eyes glance across each other for a split second before they fall to the man behind you. “You’re welcome to go in and make yourselves comfortable, or you can explore the city as you see fit. Everyone stay connected over the comms channel and be indoors by dark.”

The group disperses for the most part, though you stay close to San’s side, content to follow him instead of deciding what to do yourself. The building is nice enough: simple in its design and very minimal in terms of windows, but you suppose that makes sense given what you’ve been told of this place thus far. It blends in with the other buildings on the street with its dark brown wood and ivory trim, and the lanterns that hang from the overhang of the roof bear the same purple-hued flames that the streetlamps do. It does make everything bear a sort of ominous atmosphere to a certain extent — it would be far more unsettling in the dark, as most things are — but a promised safe haven is simply that: a safe haven.

“You—” Hongjoong lunges for Yunho’s arm as the man tries to turn into the hostel “—keep close to me. Normies are particularly desired in places like these.”

As Seonghwa steps around you to head for the doors, his glare on the back of Yunho’s head is as apparent as it is heavy. Yunho himself is equally caught off guard as he is confused, but he receives no further explanation beyond that simple ominous statement.

“I’ll get everything sorted and take care of the payments,” he says to the captain, earning nothing more than a firm nod and a wave of Hongjoong’s free hand. His gaze sticks even when Hongjoong’s does not. While the only witnesses to the affront are you and San, it's still uncomfortable to a high degree. It doesn't continue for much longer at least, as the man finally steps through the door to the hostel and leaves the rest of you in silence. Your gaze drifts over to view San’s side profile. He glances down to look at you in return, eyes turning to pretty crescents, and you loop your hand around his elbow.

"I imagine this won't be a stress-free trip as we wish it to be," he whispers, pulling you closer to his body as you start to follow behind Hongjoong and Yunho. You can’t respond right away. The pair ahead of you pulls your focus for a moment, in a stance so similar to your own with San that it causes realization to dawn on you.

“We’re okay, right?” you ask out of the blue. For a moment you think San hasn’t heard you, but he very clearly has based on how stiff his expression becomes. Lie to me. I’m so desperate for your lies.

“Yeah,” he nods, “we are.” It tastes sweet and feels heavy on your skin.

“You know, Y/n, it was San who recommended that you have an important role in this mission.” Hongjoong’s voice slices through you at a diagonal, hunting the spot where it will hurt the most like it’s for sport, and his timing is so apt that you believe he’s heard the words exchanged behind him. You don’t give him the pleasure of looking in his direction. San lifts his free hand to lay it over the one you have secured around his elbow like he fears you letting go but your grip is still firm. Nails dig into his exposed skin. You know it will leave a mark.

San’s face is ripped to shreds with a mixture of regret and sympathy. His expression is too genuine for you to find any deception in it.

“I didn’t think he would take it seriously, I… in retrospect, I must look fucking stupid because I thought that he would take both of us on the mission.” San’s eyes drop to the ground. “I asked to go. I wasn’t expecting him to choose Yunho over me.”

Again, Hongjoong pushes himself into a conversation not meant for him.

“San isn’t fully healed to the point of mission clearance. Both of our resident doctors said as much, for differing reasons.” You wish that the claws he’s dug deep beneath San’s skin to twist around his heart and make him do as he pleases were not so tightly wound. You wish you could know with certainty that removing them would not kill San in the process. You wish you could know that the blood seeping from San’s chest in the aftermath would not be on your hands.

None of those things are certain or doomed to change, however, and you must remain firmly in place where you are with San and hope for an outcome other than agony by his side.

The captain reaches down between his body and Yunho’s, and you watch the man lace his fingers through Yunho’s in a way that almost seems natural enough to believe that it’s a regular occurrence. Nothing more than an attempt to keep the man by his side, however, and you turn your chin away from the sight partly because you feel like you’re encroaching.

“Go on and pick out whatever you need,” Hongjoong’s voice sounds far sweeter than you know the man to be, with a sort of melodic lull to how he speaks that makes your skin itch. This sort of intimacy is unnatural for him. You cannot tell whether it’s genuine or not either. The tips of Yunho’s ears are stained red; you can see as much from where you stand despite the man’s efforts to keep his head firmly forward. “Do you want me to get you anything nice while we’re here?”

“It’s fine.” His tone is as stiff as he is, yet his hand clings to Hongjoong’s like the other man will let go at any second and he can’t bear the thought of such a thing happening. “We just need to restock some medicines, and I want to see what they have in the way of ingredients. I imagine they’ve got lots of local stuff I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere else. It would be nice to try some new stuff. Do you think there’s an apothecary nearby? Having some options other than pills would be good… the locals ought to have some recipes I can’t get anywhere else. Oh, and painkillers! I’m running low, I could have sworn I had a few extra bottles in stock—”

“You mentioned you had forgotten to restock them last week.”

“Ah, did I?” Yunho finally dares to glance down at the man walking alongside him. Despite the clear question in his tone, what you can see of his expression from his side profile does not match that — because what do a sharp stare and taut frown have in common with confusion?

“You’ve been frazzled lately; it’s understandable.” Hongjoong turns to look up at him in return, and a smile that’s soft around the edges pulls at the corners of his lips. His free hand moves up to brush down the strays in Yunho’s bangs. “Let’s pick up some more just in case you're unsure, yeah?”

“Do you wanna sneak away on our own?” San’s voice comes from close to your ear, closer than you expect it to be, and you inhale sharply as your gaze tears off the discomforting scene unfolding feet ahead of you. He’s already pulling you away before you even offer up a few nods in response, and if Hongjoong or Yunho notices your departure, neither one comments on it. You quickly discover, however, that you are not alone in your discomfort as San speaks again under his breath. “They weren’t speaking at all days ago and now he acts all domestic like that with Yunho as though nothing happened… it’s infuriating to watch.”

“Not at all surprising though, is it?” your words come out through a mutter. You expect some level of retaliation from San given how staunchly he’s defended Hongjoong to you in the past, but now he’s quiet. “Love isn’t easy.”

“Love’s not, but what he does is.”

What he does to Yunho and Seonghwa both — those things should not be considered love to any degree, but you aren’t sure how a man such as Hongjoong shows love. If he feels it at all, that is.

"I'm not sure there's a single one of us who has done it perfectly, I suppose," San continues after a breath of hesitation. "But we can try. To mend the wounds we may cause by accident along the way, and to meet others halfway. Learn how best to love." He doesn't look at you directly but the words are spoken into your heart and soul. You cling to his arm tighter still.

Is this real or am I lying with a lion intent on devouring me for the sake of another?

San gives you his love, and you do not doubt that one bit — those around him have vouched for his fragile heart and kindness far too much for you to doubt him to that degree. There is simply a line in the sand you cannot decipher, where San’s love intersects with Hongjoong’s influence over him. You don't wish to think of these things as of now, however. This trip is meant to be a vacation to some degree, even though you're tasked with other things, and you want to take a vacation from thinking about your captain and his manipulative bullshit as well.

“Did you do this sort of thing often? Before I joined the crew, I mean.” San resituates your hand so that it now sits encased in his, and he pulls it down to dangle between your bodies. The action feels natural, coming with an inherent comfort that makes your heart pulse with emotion.

“From time to time here and there. I wouldn’t say we made a habit of it by any means, but it was a whole lot harder to take trips like this when the crew was more full.”

“Not even after the crew got smaller?”

“Oh, we had a few! But Hongjoong was—” San pauses and his face contorts a little before he continues “—working himself to an early grave at that point. Early on, we took a small trip when it was just Jongho and me on the crew. Hongjoong was doing business, of course, and Seonghwa was still in the phases of not letting him go off anywhere alone, so Jongho and I got to have something of a break.” The memory must be a rather fond one given how wide the smile that pulls at his lips is. “After Hongjoong discovered Jongho in the cargo bay, he changed course to Yuki and we stopped at Rohtah for a short while. Mostly for Captain to find some fresh faces for the crew, so I had to be at his beck and call when necessary. Jongho and I got to bond quite a bit during that trip though so it was… really nice. One of the most pleasant memories I have of being with the crew. At least until Yunho came along! He made the atmosphere so much livelier once he came along, and we started to do some recreational stuff on the ship instead of saving it for when we were planetside. Things we still do now like cards and games, and Jongho got a guitar at one of our stops so we started having music nights and — and everyone would be there, and Hongjoong was there and he would actually be there with us. Not in the corner of the room doing that thing he does where he just stares at us like we’re part of a different world that he can’t join in on.”

San’s rambling is endearing, complete with a sort of child-like excitement that makes his face light up, and you wish desperately that you could share in those happy memories of his with the same joy that he seems to be experiencing at present. Melancholy cuts through it with a jagged edge too, however, making the smile break before it reaches his eyes. The nights where the whole crew partakes in games and fun are so few and far between that they seem distant, and you’ve only seen Jongho pull the guitar from his room on a handful of occasions when you’ve occupied space in the ship for a decently long amount of time now.

“It was inevitable,” San continues just as you’re parting your lips to offer him some kind of comfort, “in many ways. The crew grew too large to keep that atmosphere. We didn’t even have rooms to ourselves at the height of the Scourge’s reign of terror over the starry skies; I shared with Jongho back then, and Yunho before that for a while. The ship was crowded as hell to the point where you couldn’t so much as walk outside the bathroom in your own room without seeing another person there, but it felt so lived in.” You’ve lost sight of Hongjoong and Yunho at this point, and as you continue to walk further into the city, the streets are filling out with the hustle and bustle of locals going about their days. “The Horizon was rarely quiet back then, and I can’t imagine how that impacted our Berserkers, even the several we had outside Jongho and Mingi. It was jarring going from that to… what was virtually silence in the halls.”

“Do you miss those days?” you ask. San’s eyes wander from stall to stall, occasionally searching the doors and signs hanging from buildings along the way.

“Yes and no. I so preferred it when the crew was small and close-knit the way it was before. And even though it’s small now…” Gaze becoming distant, San slows to a halt in the midst of the cobbled street. You don’t push him to keep moving and instead just pull yourself next to him without a word. “Someone ruined that peace we had before. There are still nights where I lie awake, incapable of even closing my eyes because I wish so badly that I had snapped his neck when I had the chance, even if it risked my captain’s hatred and punishment. I wish I hadn’t been a weapon then so that I could’ve acted on my own accord, to do what needed to be done and spared everyone the horror that followed. But that’s not how the universe wanted it to play out, I suppose.”

“Why did Hongjoong not kill that man?” you inquire under your breath, barely looking over at San out of the corner of your eye. He seems all too eager to kill me if I so much as breathe in his direction the wrong way. How could he not kill someone who truly betrayed him so deeply?

“That’s a question for him, not me.” San’s lips twitch in a sorry attempt at a smile. “I have wondered the very same myself for a long time though, so you aren’t alone in your wonder. Come on, I saw a stall over on this side that I wanted a closer look at.” You find some reassurance in the knowledge that San is as unaware as you are, for once, but that creeping thought makes you feel worse about yourself so you push it to the side and let San guide you over to one of the street vendors.

“Come to look at my wares, young ones?” An elderly woman greets you with creased eyes and a smile that brings wisened lines out of her face. “I have all sorts of honeymoon jewelry if that’s what you’re looking for!”

You glance over at San in a panic, but there’s a smile tugging at your lips and you can’t fight it nor can you pinpoint where it comes from to begin with. He’s biting back a grin himself, one that’s a tad more reserved than your own, though his gaze doesn’t fall away from the lady’s for a second.

“Please, show me your favorite pieces. We aren’t married but I would like to find something nice for my partner nonetheless.”

“Not married yet, I see, I see. There’s still time yet! Our little city here is quite the romantic getaway if you know the right places to look, and if you’re up for a little adventure.” You look up from the display of jewelry before you only to make direct eye contact with the woman from across the stand, and she passes you a more than a little obvious wink that makes you exhale what can only be described as a pained laugh. Without thinking too deeply about it, your hand drifts towards a set of earrings on the display case.

"Do you like those?" San asks, eyes flitting over to watch your movements closely. You lay your hand flat against the glass as you lean forward a hair and take a closer look at them. Simple, silver, no gems adorning them, and clearly hand-twisted metal that winds itself into the shape of a curved seven. One of the two has a chain attached to it, short but with a cylindrical shape dangling downwards.

"They're pretty," you murmur before withdrawing your hand and smiling at the woman.

"These are a special set, yes," she hums, "the chime here is a charm of protection." She opens the case and lifts one of the cuffs out, showing off the piece in its full glory with the chime tinkling as she moves it. The sound isn't obnoxious, more like a softer version of the windchimes you saw outside some of the buildings on your walk, and the metal is so polished that you can see your distorted reflection in it. "It is meant to ward off foul intentions and spirits if blessed by a loved one. A very charming piece indeed."

"Ah…" comes your quiet noise of acknowledgment, and the woman reaches out to lift your hand with her own, exposing your palm to the sky as she sets the piece there and nods towards you. You understand the implication of her action, and if you were a bit more bold in that area of things, you would ask San to give his blessing with no shame. It shouldn't be difficult for you either considering how the old woman has already clocked the two of you as a couple, but it feels far too intimate to ask San to do something like that in front of her. Hell, you don't even know if he believes in such acts or if you do yourself really. Would it be too much to ask from him or—

San's hand comes across your vision and covers your palm briefly, and when he pulls away the piece of jewelry is gone from your hand. He clasps his hands together in front of him and lifts them to his face, lips brushing against his thumb as he mouths unknown words against it. In a way, he seems like a man praying before an altar. When his eyes snap back open, he unfolds his hands and presses a kiss to the earring.

"There." San's focus turns to you in that moment, and your eyes meet, and there's a second in which your heart clenches so tightly in your chest that it burns. Your chest aches, eyes stinging from the sudden onset of emotion you see in San’s gaze, and you can do nothing but stand completely still. "Does it go this way?"

You get a moment to breathe again when he diverts his attention back to the shopkeeper so that she can show him which side to put the piece on. Yet when he comes back to you, his hand is reaching up to move the hair around your right ear out of the way, and you can't keep from clasping your fingers around his forearm just to secure yourself to the man in some way. His fingers are hot against your skin (or maybe your ears are flaming with embarrassment) but the metal is blessedly cool as he secures it in its proper place.

"Is it comfortable?" he inquires through the same cat-like grin you recall him wearing the first time you laid eyes on each other. The memory hits you out of nowhere, flashing before your eyes in a split second. Here you are all this time later, in a position and a place you never imagined you would find yourself in, and there's so much love in you as he moves your hands together so that you can cling to him better.

"Yes, it's perfect," you reply. Love blooms so beautifully before your eyes and in your chest as he tucks his chin to his chest and hides glowing cheeks and red-tinged ears.

Turning back to the elderly lady, you find her waiting with the other cuff in hand, and you take it from her with a quiet word of gratitude.

"I'd like these two pieces as well, please," San requests, though you can't see what he's pointing to clearly, and your heart won't calm down enough to let your thoughts return to normal coherence. So, you leave it be and busy yourself with tucking the second cuff around your other ear on your own while San collects his items and pays the woman with his credit chip. He tucks everything into his pocket once she hands them over, and she sends the two of you off with an excited wave.

“I hope all goes well for the two of you. May the spirits watch over you.”

“Thank you, may the spirits watch over you.” San bows his head at her before the two of you walk away. He tilts his head towards yours, whispering as close to your ear as he can get without knocking your heads together. “This city is very firm in spirituality and religion. When I looked at a map with all the buildings shown, I found at least six churches in a fairly small radius. But the spirit shops can be found practically on every street corner depending on what road you’re on. On our walk into the city, I heard almost every native say that phrase in farewell to those they were talking with, so it must be something customary regardless of belief.”

You reach up to toy with the chime hanging from your ear.

“Is that why you blessed this then?”

“Maybe I… an added layer of protection never hurts, especially in our line of work. Even if something small, even if the words and prayers of a nonbeliever are not enough to be a suitable blessing, it at least has my heart behind it. I wish for your safety every night and your happiness every morning anyway, so what’s the harm in hoping this will do the same?”

“San.”

He reaches around your side and pinches your waist between his fingers, a laugh on his lips that echoes against the soft tinkling of wind chimes in the air.

“Come, let’s keep wandering around before we’re called back to our captain’s side.”

────────────

Evening comes quickly, and with it something you dread. The slight consolation you have is that you’re less and less apprehensive with each meeting you have with the therapist-psychologist-psychiatrist medley that is Minho, but it doesn’t keep you from fidgeting in the seat you find yourself in now. Seated outside, the sun has yet to dip under the edge of the mountain range so you can still enjoy the outdoor air some without fear of insanity or whatever else night may bring. Said doctor sits near you, mulling over a mug of what seems to be coffee based on the aroma hanging about your small shared table, and he too watches the edge of the mountains.

“What’s been on your mind recently?”

Despite anticipating such a question, you let out a noise akin to a ‘hm’ and let silence pull back over you.

“A lot and nothing at all, at the same time. And you?”

Minho grins but it’s clear that he does not appreciate your attempt at a joke. “I’m enjoying fresh air and nature that is not confined to a rocky and putrid desert. Our last little planetside visit was far from pleasant vacationing scenery, no?”

“Unless one enjoys freezing winds and bland landscapes, but yes, I’ll agree with you on that.”

The doctor clears his throat around a mouthful of coffee, and you know it’s as subtle as he’s going to be about prompting you to shift the subject to other things. Minho is nothing if not a patient man, however, for better or for worse. You have no way out here, and he is not going to prompt you for a response so your only option here is to answer him.

“I have been having a hard time understanding some people on the crew. Their motives and intentions with me — that sort of thing,” you admit while squinting at the table. In your peripheral, you catch Minho’s glance and continue speaking before he can even begin to ask you to elaborate. “It’s hard to find the line between where they’re being genuine and where they’re trying to get something out of me. I did try to solve the problem on my own. I spoke to someone about it, and yet that led to a rabbit hole and now I find myself doubting much of what I thought to be true. That line of thought only makes me wonder further though. I didn’t doubt so much before. Now I can’t determine whether I was blissfully in the dark or if I’m being led to believe things that are untrue.”

You jerk your chin to the left and stare your companion down, hoping that he’ll understand you’re done venting for the time being. He raises his brows at you over the edge of his mug without ceasing his movements, and after what seems to be a purposefully drawn-out sip, he leans back in his chair and rests the mug on his thigh.

“Interpersonal relationships are difficult by nature. When there are two people close to you saying things that are at odds with each other, it becomes harder. How does one decide who is telling the truth? Are they perhaps both telling some portion of the truth? If you lean more towards one side then does that make you biased? Does it mean you care for one more than the other? Sometimes we fear how our reactions will affect relationships more than what the truth truly is.”

“I do trust one more than the other,” you add through a slight shake of your head. Minho jolts forward a little with an inhale as his lips part to speak again.

“I anticipate that you will not want to use actual names when discussing this, so how about we use hypothetical names in place of them?”

“I’m certain you already know,” you counter in the same breath.

He matches your tone as it drops to a whisper. “What I know or don’t know is not important. This is for your comfort. If bringing their names into this makes you feel uncomfortable or as though you are blaming them, then using fake names can mitigate those feelings. Call them anything — day, night, tree, rock, stone, fuckass and shithead even — whatever you please.” His words have their intended effect in making you let out a breathy laugh.

“I trust… Rock more than I trust Stone.” That goes without saying really because you have known San (or Rock rather) far longer than you’ve known Nightingale. “But Rock doesn’t always answer my questions and often speaks around my questions in such a way that it makes me have doubts. I don’t need him to tell me everything, of course, and I do trust him more than Stone by a landslide. It’s just that what Stone said threw me off.”

“Why are you so quick to take Stone for his word if you trust Rock more?”

“Because it was so eerily close to reality that I was frightened.”

“Did you ask if Stone knew about your reality? Or ask Rock if he spoke about it with Stone before your conversation?”

“I — I didn’t even think to.” Minho is watching your face very carefully, a wry smile planted on his lips. “I’ll do so though.”

“That might be worth a try,” he answers in the same kind tone as always. “Start there, and if the results are not enough to ease your concerns, then we can revisit the conversation at another time.”

“I like that idea.”

“Do you feel more comfortable speaking with me these days, Y/n?”

“I do,” you say, though Minho hardly looks convinced by your answer. “I really do. It’s far easier to have a second voice to offer an opinion. Even if the topics still do make me uncomfortable.”

“Well, that feeling is natural. Those who find it easy to disclose the deepest and darkest parts of themselves to others are often either unaware of their flaws or hiding some pain. We as humans tend to realize what things might be perceived as bad or ugly to others, and thus there is some extent of shame surrounding talking about those things. Even if the perceptions come from stigma.”

“I wouldn’t say I fear your judgment necessarily.”

“Then, shall we try something a bit different today?” Minho’s words are accompanied by the unwelcome noise of his chair scraping against cobbles, and you twist at the waist to follow him with your gaze as he moves away from the table. “Would you be open to laying down over here on your back?” He gestures down towards a bench not far away, one close to the tree that the whole courtyard is centered around, and without verbal response, you move to do as asked.

There’s no need to bother with asking what he wants you to do this for; that question would result in a snarky ‘you’ll see’ or a quick ‘is that a no then’. So, you seat yourself on the bench and lay flat against the cool stone until all you can see are the branches of the tree and bits of darkening sky over your head.

“Close your eyes. I want you to envision your parents first.” Minho’s voice moves around your head, from ear to ear. You see nothing behind your eyelids though, not even a wisp of an idea of the people who are supposed to be so fundamental and crucial in a person’s memories. “I’m going to ask you a series of questions. There’s no need to answer them verbally to me but try to answer them to yourself to the best of your ability. Did you know your parents? What did they look like? What role did they have in your life? What were they like as parents? As people?”

The sole memory you have of them is nothing more than figments and knowledge that was passed onto you by another.

“Happy birthday, my darling. I can hardly believe you’re seven already!” The first voice to touch our ears is deep enough to be that of a man, and the second comes out more feminine and has a certain warmth to it that catches you off-guard.

“Dear, they’re waiting outside.”

“Just… give me but a moment with our child, Marina. They won’t die if I take a few minutes to celebrate our daughter’s day.”

Your father at the very least seemed to love you. Perhaps your mother did as well, in some odd and convoluted way.

“If you can’t recall them well, then a childhood friend? What of them?”

Wooyoung is the most obvious answer to that question, though only because you are aware that you should remember him from your childhood. That remains just as hazy, however, with nothing more than tiny fragments that you have been trying hard to piece together for some time now. He was your childhood friend. Bread boy. Tsukio. The boy with lavender hair who reached for your hand in unending waters time and time again before he could finally reach you.

“Now yourself? Who were you as a child, Y/n? What games did you play? What did you wish to be when you grew up and what did you become? What led you to join the military, pushed you to forget everything and start over?” Minho’s questions are coming too rapidly now for you to keep up with, and you let a noise of frustration slip from your lips as you try to find the answers to everything in your mind. “It’s okay to get frustrated and annoyed. That’s part of the process. But don’t give up quite yet.” His voice comes to a standstill somewhere behind your head, but it still sounds somewhat far and away. “Your identity changed at a certain point, did it not? When you were fourteen years old and decided to take that serum to forget everything that had happened to you before. Who were you in the military?” A killer. “What was your rank, your position, your duty, your unit — what was your purpose?” To kill. “Who were you and what did you become?”

“The Ghost of Eros,” you say aloud without thinking. Something touches your shoulder without warning and every muscle in your body tenses at the sudden breach of focus. Your eyes snap open in hopes of finding the offending touch, but instead, you make eye contact with Minho, who now crouches beside the bench near your head with a very firm and unnerving stare settled on you.

“Who were you before joining the Scourge’s crew?”

Frustration creeps in a second time because you don’t get it. Minho is trying to make a point with all of this, and you still don’t understand what exactly he’s trying to convey to you.

“The Ghost of Eros.”

“And who are you now?”

You sit up, forcing his hand to fall away from your shoulder, and all you can do for several seconds is stare at your lap while shaking your head.

“I’m… it hasn’t changed? I’m still as I was.” Your eyes seek to find Minho once again for answers. He smiles back at you.

“Exactly. You are still the Ghost of Eros, but you need to let yourself believe that again. Your strength didn’t go away, just as you told me that your skills are still with you. Your willpower, intelligence, the things that brought you out of that place you were in — those are skills just the same, and they have not gone away. So you need to stop believing that they have.”

“I-I don’t — what are you trying to get at?” His words seem so intentional and pointed that it makes your head spin somewhat. What does he know that you don’t?

“You are equipped to withstand any trial set before you. Yet when we have these discussions, I find a deep-rooted sense of self-doubt in you. Whether that comes from the confusion of not wholly knowing who you are or from the influence of external forces, it is a hard thing to uproot and remove. I cannot give you a shovel and tell you to dig it out, but I can give you the means to break it down so that it will not grow further. I can remind you that you already have the tools needed to do so if you remember where to look.” Minho sits down in the space behind your back, and you sling your legs to the side so that you can sit parallel to him before the tree ahead of you. “There was a time when your name was second only to the Scourge’s in bars and amongst pirate crews. Is that legacy meant to play second fiddle to his? Is that what you desire? Some parts of you must not want that because you resist authority so heavily. You have forgotten that name and in turn, let him forget it as well. I did not see you cave when faced with the ghosts of your past. You did not cave to a king you perceived to be a tyrant. You have pulled yourself away from so many things, wearing your name as a mantle that represents who you are and what you are capable of. Why do you hesitate to remind your sole competition of the same?”

Minho stares ahead at the tree yet you look to the ground with fingers clenched hard around the edge of the bench. You recall the first time you laid eyes on Hongjoong in the flesh, outside of wanted posters and scant dossiers that did nothing to fully encapsulate the man who is the Scourge of the Black Sea. Even back then, he had looked past you as though you were nothing to him, yet in return, you did not find yourself afraid of him at all. Have you become afraid of him now? Why?

“I wish to be acknowledged as that,” you state resolutely. “Someone strong and fearsome and on his level. He doesn’t treat me like I’m the Ghost of Eros still. I-I want him to.”

Minho hums. “It would be easier to fall in line, would it not?”

Ask yourself what your defiance is really for.

You realize the answer to that question now. Mingi laid down his mantle as the Brute of Kebos for a multitude of reasons, and you can understand now why he views defiance to be a shoddy decision. What he had before was nothing pretty or desirable. The same could be said of your past as well, but you have never desired to set your mantle aside and become something small and diminishable on the Scourge’s crew. A weapon is only as good as the one wielding it, and Hongjoong frankly does not wield you and your abilities as he should.

“It would…”

“With its feet tied and wings clipped, what hope does a caged bird have?” Minho pats your knee before standing up. From where you sit, you can just barely glimpse at the ugly brand sitting on the back of his neck, crude scars and all. “It can still carve its way out with its beak, no? Do not let yourself be buried by those with the intent to put you beneath them. Be strong.” He leaves you with that, alone on the bench in the courtyard before a blooming tree whose roots stretch and pull at the stone meant to cover it.

For the first time, someone is telling you to fight, and fight, you most certainly will.

There’s a good amount of time where you sit in the same place without moving because the conversation has left your head a bit fuzzy. The only reason you don’t linger any longer in the courtyard is because the sun is continuing to dip closer to the horizon and you are not eager to find out what the nightlife is like.

The air clings to your skin a bit when you step through the door, not too different from the humidity outside, but the warmth is welcome in a different way. Music hits your ears at the same time, and you find yourself drifting toward the source of the noise out of sheer curiosity. The sight you find unfolding before you brings pause to your step, though only briefly because your feet are once again compelled to move and push you forwards.

Jongho is the first one you see, sitting on the edge of a couch with a guitar of some sort in his hands — one that must be local to Gorgon due to its foreign appearance. Yeosang sits nearby, close to the couch on some sort of box that he taps the flats of his hands against, and his rhythm matches Jongho’s so perfectly that you’d be hard-pressed to believe that they’ve never done this before. The table that had been set in front of the couch has been dragged to the side to make more space available, and right now Wooyoung occupies that space with Mingi, hands gently folded around Mingi’s forearms like he’s trying to both steady and guide the man at once. You only catch sight of a fifth and final person once you approach the back of a loveseat, and it’s San who sits just barely hidden from sight there. Your arrival brings his attention upwards to you, and you look at each other upside-down. Perhaps it’s the mood in the air, but you allow yourself to indulge a bit here and now, leaning over the back of the sofa to lay a kiss against San’s forehead as he reaches upwards for you. Hands slotting together, he clings to you while you round the loveseat fully and sink down onto the cushion beside him.

“Y/n, Y/n, you have to join in!” Wooyoung laughs as he pulls Mingi around in a circle, eyes not lingering on you for more than a second. Every bit of skin that’s visible on the man is flushed, and the balls of his cheeks are so bright and round that you can’t help but smile just seeing the evident joy on his features. He takes the gesture as an invitation. He’s giggling as he moves Mingi over to the couch where Jongho’s perched before flitting over to you in the blink of an eye. You barely have time to let go of San’s hand before Wooyoung is tugging you up from the loveseat.

“Wait—”

“Indulge me just a little tonight, please?”

Your protest dies in the back of your throat and falls on deaf ears. You wish you had put up more of a fight moments later when Wooyoung starts pulling you into a rather fast-paced and intricate set of footsteps that you can hardly keep up with without trampling his toes every beat or so. Yet — Wooyoung is laughing and happy and throwing his head back so far that the sound of his laughter resonates with the music Jongho and Yeosang are creating. This fragile peace hangs by the thinnest of threads, tied into small knots, and you’re mesmerized by the joy radiating off Wooyoung in waves. It’s not just you either: Yeosang’s eyes follow his lover with every slight shift in muscle, so rapt in his attention yet still not missing a beat as he continues to drum his hands against the box beneath him. Wooyoung spins you out in San’s direction, hand squeezing hard around yours so that you don’t tumble, and in that split second, you make eye contact with your own lover.

It startles you to see the expression on his face. He looks to be in utter awe of what’s unfolding before him, even though you’re certain it’s a mess on your end, yet there’s also a faraway gleam to his gaze that makes you realize he’s not wholly here in this moment with the rest of you. You want to ask what’s on his mind, to know what he’s seeing in his head right now, or what memories are replaying themselves to him if that’s what it is. It’s hardly the time or place for such things, however.

Wooyoung twirls you back into his arms, hands sliding down to secure at your waist. The metal hanging from his neck is a stark contrast to the warmth of his skin and breath as he buries his face into the crook of your shoulder. You aren’t prepared to brace his weight and stumble back over your feet with Wooyoung still clinging tightly to you until you hit the edge of the loveseat. San’s hand juts out to catch you when the two of you tumble to the cushions. Wooyoung is laughing the whole time, hot on your neck, and he sits up on one knee as though nothing happened.

“Change the song!” he requests, returning to his post at the center of the rug. San’s hand drifts towards yours but he only takes hold of your fingers rather than your whole hand as he usually does. You jolt upon looking over at him, solely because there’s another body behind the loveseat and a face pressed between yours and San’s that you were not expecting to see. It’s Yunho who fills the space between your face and your lover’s — mostly recognizable through his side profile and also his blond hair that’s beginning to grow in dark at the roots. He’s clearly fresh out of the shower if his damp hair is any indication of such along with the faint scent of something minty radiating off of him.

“What are we watching?” he asks, bringing his elbows up to rest on the back of the couch.

“Wooyoung is putting on a show for us,” San hums in response, and his fingers curl around your index finger. “You just barely missed Y/n’s ever-so-graceful dance moves too!”

“Oh, stop,” comes your whine as embarrassment washes over you with San’s confirmation that it was indeed a very messy ordeal. Yunho laughs, head pulling up to watch Wooyoung’s new performance. The music shifts, first with Jongho then with Yeosang changing his rhythm to follow along with the Berserker on the box drum. Wooyoung’s eyes flutter shut, and the music takes hold of him like a spell has been cast on his body. There’s a certain delicate nature to his movements now that is far different than how he danced with Mingi and in turn you. The collar around his neck drags up and down against his skin with each twist of his body, yet his happiness persists even with what must be an agonizing discomfort. If not for his upbringing and what you know of his youth, you would imagine he made a living out of this at some point in his life. He has both the grace and the appearance of a dancer, between his lithe figure and his pretty features, and it wouldn’t be impossible to believe that there are many people who would pay a great deal to see him perform. Here you sit, surrounded by crewmates and friends, watching the scene unfold without a credit spent. Luck comes to mind because it does feel something like a blessing to experience this in such a joyful atmosphere. Wooyoung’s voice rises into the mix alongside Jongho’s, though a tad more breathy than the latter’s due to the fluid movements he’s trying to maintain while singing.

“Pardon, but the master asked that I bring freshly brewed tea for our guests. Mushroom tea, a local specialty. Please enjoy your stay here with us.” You and San both take the teacups handed to you on a silver platter by the young woman who has approached the loveseat. Yunho is the only one to refuse it yet gratitude still pours from his lips nonetheless, and the lady bows her head. She moves over to Mingi next, careful not to disturb the rest who are bringing the merry festivities to the room.

The tea is close to scalding but just shy of it so you can sip comfortably from the top while watching Wooyoung’s performance continue to unfold. The words of the song are solemn in comparison to how upbeat the music itself sounds, even down to the smile pulling at Wooyoung’s lips while he sings along. You hardly need to be a genius to figure out the meaning of it — it’s a tried and true farewell song, one saying goodbye to times past and people no longer present, sung with a dissonant joy that makes the tea taste bitter on your tongue.

Yunho inches out of your peripherals, and you angle your head in his direction only to catch him walking towards the stairs without a word. At first, you wonder if the song is what compelled him to leave or perhaps he simply wishes to retire for the night and not disturb everyone on his way out. Content with that reasoning, you redirect your focus once again, only to catch sight of someone else at the other end of the room, tucked away a bit and somewhat hidden from sight. Not enough to be wholly hidden, obviously, but enough so that he will not disturb anything happening in the main area. It’s Hongjoong, of course, because any other member of the crew would have approached without care for being perceived. This is not the first time you have been witness to your captain’s insecurities surrounding his crew; however, seeing the man appear so small in his attempts to hide himself fills you with an odd sense of justified satisfaction. Has he earned a place at this table? Suffered the way these people have for his whims and desires? The answer is clear in your mind — no, he has absolutely not.

The song draws to a close, and you down the rest of your tea before ridding Hongjoong of your attention. San leads with a round of applause, one that both you and Mingi quickly echo. Wooyoung’s attention returns to you before anyone else.

“Jongho knows lots of traditional songs that we know,” he exhales through little gasps for air. “Yeosang and I, I mean. Songs we learned growing up on Aera.” He blows off the fumble of words so easily that you don’t even see a shift in emotion on his features.

“That one was rather sad.”

“It’s a funeral song! Or — a dirge, rather, for people who have departed. Either from life or gone off to new places in the universe, so that’s why the lyrics are so dismal. The song itself and the dance are for celebration though. Celebrating the life and time shared with those departed. I’ve done it a few times before just for fun like this!”

“Never for its true purpose?” you inquire out of sheer curiosity. Wooyoung’s smile turns into a close-lipped one that’s soft around the edges.

“Only once for that purpose.” He lets his words hang long enough for you to feel the weight of them, then he flits over to where Yeosang sits and drapes himself over the man like a blanket. Jongho’s fingers don’t rest on the guitar strings, and he continues to strum out another tune that Yeosang joins in once again, but Wooyoung rests his feet for now. Not his voice, it seems, as he continues singing quietly, words pushed into Yeosang’s shoulder rather than to the entire room.

“The tea made me a bit sleepy, so I think I’m gonna head upstairs,” you say to the man beside you. San nods a few times but refuses to let go of your hand even when you stand up from the loveseat. He comes along with you, in fact, setting his cup down beside yours on the nearby table. The energy of the night is beginning to wear off, and it’s draining fast from your body. San is humming beside you to the song Jongho plays, and you feel him tapping out the melody against your knuckles. You have felt this kind of peace more times than you can count while part of this crew, but it has seemed quite far away for a while now. You squeeze tighter at San’s hand like you’re waiting for the inevitable, like glass is about to shatter and the illusion of peace will become nothing but shards before you. Yet, none of that happens, and you revel in this moment you’re living in while climbing the stairs to the second floor of the hostel.

San pushes the door to your joint room open with one hand, tugging you in alongside him as a giggle tears from your lips. There’s a moment where you fall into his side, hand bracing on his hip when you collide into each other’s space. Then San is drifting away from you and letting your hands return to your sides. He steps over to the dresser with a song still on his lips.

“Hi,” you say to break the lull in conversation.

“Hello, star,” he replies with a fond little smile. You return the gesture as you slowly shut the door.

“Finally alone, hm?”

San’s focus pulls harder toward you. He gives up on his current task of pulling a change of clothes out to stare directly at you.

“Careful, my darling, a man could take such words to mean all sorts of things.”

You dip your chin to your chest and laugh, shaking your head as you push into the room. It’s not that you’re looking for anything in particular — sexual, you mean — and the two of you haven’t fucked around in several days, mostly out of joint avoidance and going straight to bed once you’ve gone about your days separately. You aren’t keen on anything now, either. There’s a knot in your gut that won’t unfurl, coupled with the recollection of what occurred last time. You thought of another man. San called you treasure. There was some degree of an argument which resulted in you asking for sex to feel better, and San, who is one to voice when something is not okay in the bedroom, complied eagerly. Maybe you both made mistakes that night, and all you could do to patch the wounds you left on each other was fuck it out of your systems.

San watches you carefully as you make your way to the bed and sit on the edge of it. He mirrors your movements by sitting on the dresser, hands clasped around the edge of it. The impending conversation must weigh on him too given how his usual teasing jokes don’t persist. Though your peace was far from an illusion and you do not wish to tarnish it, you do know that letting your thoughts fester any longer will cause monumental problems in the long run. As it is, you have already told yourself this can wait until tomorrow, let’s just enjoy tonight time and time again. If not now, then when because there will always be another excuse you can pull out of your back pocket to explain why it’s not a good time to speak.

“You called me your treasure the other night.”

“I— um, did you… when was this?” San fidgets in his seat, and you see him visibly nervous for the first time in a long time before you. “I’m not trying to play dumb, I just genuinely don’t recall th—”

“Why did you call me that? In that moment, what made you say that?” It isn’t your intention to interrupt him so harshly, but you fear losing your nerve or caving too soon when this conversation needs to happen desperately.

San exhales slowly and blinks at you several times.

“Y/n…?”

“It was when you went down on me while I was crying for fuck’s sake, San! Do you really not remember?”

“I… I do. Well, I remember that night, yes, but — Y/n, I truly don’t remember calling you that.” His mouth hangs slightly agape as he looks at the floor, searching for nothing in particular. “I went down on you because I wanted to make you feel good because you asked me to make you feel good. I wanted it too, I would have said something if I didn’t, and I would never push for something I didn’t think you wanted either. I wanted you to feel good and cherished because you weren’t feeling that way in that moment, I wanted to s-show you physically how much I want you. It wasn’t for any other reason, I promise. I don’t know how I can prove that to you but please say the word and I will do whatever to do so.”

Your jaw snaps shut, and you tighten your hold on yourself by pulling your arms tighter around your body.

“I wouldn’t… would never call you that, Y/n. That’s something that — Hongjoong calls Seonghwa that. I wouldn’t dare call you that too.” He frowns. “I know things are still shaky between us and that you don’t trust much of what I say in relation to him, but please believe that this is me being wholly honest with you. I would not call you such a thing because I do not want you to believe that I view you the way Hongjoong views Seonghwa.” He inhales and looks towards the door as though someone will be there to tell him off for what he wishes to say next. “That would be cruel.”

You go so still that even your breathing halts for a few seconds. San presses his lips into a thin line and swallows around nothing. He appears more determined when he speaks again.

“Implying that I view you as a mere treasure to be had and used would be cruel. In my eyes, you could hang the very stars in the sky if you so wished, you are the stars themselves, and in my next life, I hope to be a galaxy so that I can hold you in my heart for as long as I live. I love you. I truly do. I would not wish for us to ever be like them or have a relationship like theirs and I do not want you to believe that my love is conditional on your being useful to me because it's not.”

It speaks volumes to both his character and how he views his captain. And yet, it also shows you how deeply roots the seeds Hongjoong has planted are, and you fear for your sanity for creating such a thing out of thin air like that. Silence hangs. San is smart. You’re more than well aware of that. He’s perceptive and intelligent in many ways, which means that if what he’s saying is what he perceives to be truth then he can put two and two together. You thought he called you his treasure, Hongjoong calls Seonghwa that, you were thinking of Hongjoong while having sex with San.

"Is that true?" Your voice comes out meek. Shame creeps in alongside embarrassment and humiliation because in retrospect (and when you look past your muddled feelings of anger and confusion) San’s explanation does truly make more sense. Why would he call you that? He has not been cruel to you when it comes to Hongjoong. Even if he were toying with you, he has not been heartless.

"I swear on my life, Y/n. If that's not enough then I will gladly set myself before Minho or Yunho or Mingi and have any of them interrogate me in front of you. They’ll know whether I’m lying or not without fault." San steps away from the dresser, yet your gaze is still firmly set on the ground when he comes to sit beside you. A laugh escapes from your lips as the mattress dips next to you.

“Is this what Seonghwa feels like? Going fucking insane and it’s all because of that… that man.” You don’t need to look San in the face to know what expression he wears, because he reaches for one of your hands and takes it between both of his. “Before I went to see Hongjoong that night, I had fought with Seonghwa. About a lot of things but it’s all left me with a lot to think about. Much of what he said hurt me deeply, especially hearing him tell me that I was a substitute for someone else in his mind.” The admission that you did the same lies on the tip of your tongue, and it’s already partly out in the open, but there’s not enough bravery in you to tell San that now, or that you thought of Hongjoong more recently either. “He also told me there are many ways in which Hongjoong has been orchestrating my destruction from the very start. Going from that fight to an argument with Hongjoong too was very damaging to my confidence and my psyche say the least.”

“What happened with Hongjoong?” San inquires, still careful in how he broaches the subject. “I was told that you were forced in line, but is that true?”

“He made me kneel. Or rather he ordered Mingi to make me kneel, and he did. I did.” Pressure hits your shoulder, the full weight of San’s head as he pushes his cheek to your arm and leans into you. “Seonghwa is suffering some sort of mental breakdown of an insane degree and has no one to help him out of the grave he and Hongjoong both have dug beneath his feet.”

“I’ve been trying to help,” San interjects quietly, though it’s staggered by wetness in his tone that’s hard to ignore, “to no avail whatsoever.”

The thought of running away from it all crops up in your mind again. To take San and Wooyoung and Yunho and Seonghwa and everyone — taking them all away and running without looking back. Yet, if you were to do that, everything would so quickly fall apart that the ends would not be worth what it took to bring you there. Hongjoong is many terrible, awful things, but in the very least he contains in him the inherent ability to unite people under his command. You couldn’t do such a thing, nor could you in good conscience be harsh when the time came. What’s running rampant through your mind correlates with real life, and you squeeze San’s hand over yours harder.

“Hongjoong purposefully isn’t letting Seonghwa on this mission because he’s worried too. That’s why Yunho is going instead. Seonghwa is hardly happy about it but he needs the break.” San exhales a quivering sigh. “He needs a break from his duties as lieutenant, at least for now, and Hongjoong is trying to let him have that. There are things only he can do of course — like the dealings with the cargo and having that all settled but those are easier in comparison. Seonghwa doesn’t usually let anything slip when things are awry in his head, he keeps his mask up, and he tries his best to put on a front for the crew. Though it’s never been explicitly stated before the whole crew, everyone pretty much knows that he is not an Elitist. We just… know our boundaries and respect that we should not expect to be told. I was told, as the captain’s left hand. I respect secrets, and I respect privacy. Anything told to me in confidence will be taken to my grave unless I am told it is information safe to be shared. I do not hide things out of malicious intent. That being said, I will do my best to be more open and honest with you moving forward. Would you please do the same in return?”

“I am honest with you already,” you cut in almost in an instant. San’s hand flexes around yours. “But I will… I’ll continue to do so.”

His frown is felt against your shoulder.

“If that were true then you would not be revealing truths to me now.”

“I’m sorry.” The tension that rises in your muscles forces his head off your arm. “I’m really sorry.”

“I’m not chastising you, beloved, breathe.” You’re already turning to look at his face when he reaches up with a hand to cup your cheek. “I love you. So deeply and so dearly.”

“I love you too.”

“Let’s do this without having sex. Right now, let’s just talk… without it turning into sex.” You nod against his hand. San is gnawing hard at his lower lip, and it’s already swollen from what must be continued abuse in an attempt to keep tears at bay considering how red the corners of his eyes are. “Do you wanna go out on the balcony?”

Your hands do not separate when he stands, and you stay as close to him as possible when following him to the door like he’s the one thing keeping you tethered to reality at the moment.

Outside, night has fallen, but the small balcony before you sits covered and enclosed by panes of glass. Below you can see the courtyard where you and Minho were earlier, exposed to the night air and the toxins it brings, but up here it’s like another world. The torches continue to bloom with their purple flames along the buildings, fluorescent green lights accent places where the streets are too dark to be lit by flame alone, and silver chimes glint every so often when the wind nudges them in the right direction.

“The town looks pretty at night,” you note as San leads you to a seat near the glass.

“Quite beautiful indeed.” He squeezes your hand one last time before pulling away at last and sitting down in the chair beside yours. When you glance his way, you find him picking at the skin under his nails and watching the skin peel back to reveal something raw and tender beneath. “I am going to tell you some truths that are hard for me to admit, let alone process still. Despite thinking about it and practicing what I want to say in my head time and time again, I may struggle with how to say things. After you went to the bathroom to wash up that night with Seonghwa, he told me that Hongjoong was the sole person on his mind. That hurt me to hear, so I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to pass that pain onto you as well. I overheard a bit of the commotion in the kitchen when the two of you fought, and Seonghwa had told me that he would be honest with you eventually. I wouldn’t need to be a genius to figure out that it wouldn’t go over well. Foolishly, I had thought that I could be someone to help mend the hurt both of you were feeling — your hurt from how things between you and Seonghwa ended, and Seonghwa’s hurt from once again being tossed away by his love. Seonghwa’s eagerness made me believe that it was more okay than it turned out to be, or perhaps he went into it from the start with one thing — or person, rather — on his mind.”

You remain quiet in the face of San’s admissions, even when he takes a moment to breathe and stare out at the city. His hands still in his lap and finally let his fingers have a break from the harm he was doing to them just seconds ago. He grips the armrests of his chair hard and uses his momentum to turn it more toward you. You’re faced with his rapt attention now, as his elbows come to rest on his knees and he clasps his hands between them.

“It’s true that I once had a physical relationship with Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Never just one of them alone; I was always asked to be the third for when they desired it, and I was more than happy to be that for them. We’ve discussed my views on relationships and romantic versus sexual partnerships before, and I’ve had those beliefs for a long time. However, I haven’t fully learned that it’s not so easy for everyone to fall into those roles and that the act of being a third is not always cut and dry. It’s suited for some people like myself, and not for others, which is understandable and completely fine. I thought as well that the two of you having experience with each other sexually would provide comfort and ease. What I did not do was take into consideration the hurt left between you or how sensitive the situation was for everyone involved. I take full responsibility for that night, regardless of who was thinking about what during, and I am so deeply apologetic for being the one to facilitate that. I wanted to speak and apologize to you first, but I do want to offer the same apology to Seonghwa as well.” He waits then with teeth sunk into his lower lip so hard that it disappears from the pressure. It’s your time to speak, to offer an explanation or an acknowledgment of all that he’s poured out to you, but your mind is so full of a clusterfuck of thoughts that all that comes out in the end is —

“I feel like a whore.”

It stuns the both of you in the same way, and San’s expression freezes as he simply stares at you unsure of what to say to that. The shock is almost comical if not for the severity of your conversation at present.

“Would you please tell me why you feel that way?” he asks once the initial shock of your comment passes.

“I was not very present that night. I didn’t feel like I was in my right mind, but know that I did not feel pressure to do anything out of my comfort zone. I was the one who misread my own signals and sought something in physical comfort to ease my thoughts. Seonghwa was clearly not wholly there either, as we know, and the two of us took it out on each other. Since then, I’ve been feeling the way I did that night during sex and it’s driving me mad. I don’t wish to have those thoughts or constantly be reminded of that night but it comes on of its own volition.”

“Okay then full stop, we slow down. Sex isn’t a must.”

“Well, it’s difficult because we depend so heavily on being physical to show affection for one another.”

“That just means we can find new ways to share our affection,” San says through a smile, “and we can still cuddle and hug and kiss even. Being physical and offering comfort is not inherently sexual. I have to learn that too. I’m such a physical person in every way. I adore giving in every way I can physically to show my feelings, but that clouds and muddies things a lot. A healthy relationship with sex doesn’t mean always having sex though. There are other ways we can do things together or other ways to connect and be with each other intimately. But—” he leans back and squares his shoulders, still smiling ever so softly at you “—while I’m thinking clearly, I’m going to say that I know continuing to have sex while you are struggling with your thoughts during it and we’re both in need of healing our relationship towards it is not the best thing to do. I’m not at all willing to ask it of you until you definitively tell me otherwise.”

“I love you so much,” you murmur, and San’s nose scrunches at the sudden confession. He blows a kiss your way as he leans back in his chair once more, settling into it more comfortably now that his thoughts are out in the open.

“You know, I’ve been reading some of the books you keep on your shelves lately. The Siren ones, I mean. Since you told me of your identity, I’ve been curious to learn more about what it means to be one. I didn’t know you were so cool.” Your laughs echo in the enclosed area of the balcony, mixing together.

“Sorry, but I can’t show off or anything. I don’t know how to do much at all.”

San reaches an arm over to your chair and you seek his hand with your own like it's second nature to do so.

“Even the little things about you impress me. You don’t need to do much.” His thumb rubs methodical little lines against the base of your index finger. “The music and the dancing were lovely, weren’t they?”

“It was all very nice. Lively too, and happy.”

“I’ve always loved performances like that,” San says with a smile tugging the corners of his mouth up. “When I was younger, growing up with the Taskmaster and Father — my captain at the time, I mean — I got to have one tablet. At the orphanage, I wasn’t allowed any personal belongings, and though I spent most of my time confined to one small cell, it still had a few things here and there to make the space mine. Besides the collar on my neck and chain keeping me to the wall, of course.” The crude attempt at a joke doesn’t make you laugh as much as it makes you terribly sad. The times when San openly discusses the grim details of his youth are few and far between. The more you learn of how he was forced to grow up, the more your heart aches inside your check, and the desire to close yourself around the icy stake in his chest spikes exponentially. “It had all sorts of training videos on it to help me learn to be more effective in my role on the crew. Part of the combat training videos were dances, meant to teach how to move in a way that could conserve the body’s energy. Since my abilities are so dependent on stamina, that sort of training was beyond crucial. But instead of using them for that purpose, I used to hide under the covers on my bed and watch those dances in secret though, just for fun rather than learning. And I got caught once by my father.”

“Did he punish you for it?”

“Rather than punishing me, he instead took me to a performance. Taskmaster Cara disagreed with the choice vehemently but Father didn’t pay her any mind. He simply wanted to bring me to the show. It was a night circus, traveled across the stars with the act, but we ended up seeing the show on Kebos of all places. It was a different city from where Mingi and Yunho grew up, so the coincidences stop there, though that would have been pretty special if it had been. Um… if I remember right, it was winter and snowing at the time, which was a first for me too. In the tent they had set up for the circus, there was this enormous rink of ice. Father got us seats right up by the railings and—” San cuts himself off with a laugh as he pushes his free hand out in front of him like he’s reliving the memory “—two automatons were dancing on the ice with wheels in place of feet to help them move. I remember it was the most fascinating and beautiful thing I had seen in my life. That memory — it was my happiest as a child. So seeing Wooyoung dance… it always reminds me of that experience and that feeling I had then. But seeing the two of you dance together tonight made me especially sentimental. Even though it wasn’t the same… I felt like I was seeing it all over again. Thank you for taking me back to that place.”

You squeeze your fingers around San’s.

“I hope we can share a lot more of those kinds of memories too.”

San’s response comes in a rounded smile, then he settles back in his chair with his eyes shut and a hum in his throat. Though you don’t recognize the tune, you can only imagine it’s that song from the dance he witnessed all those years ago. In the descending night, you think that maybe the two of you will be okay after all.

────────────

The blissful peace that hangs in the air remains undisturbed until you and San are getting ready for bed. It’s then that a knock comes at your door, and with San in the bathroom washing his face, you take it upon yourself to be the one to answer it. You could have thrown at several guesses as to who would be waiting on the other side, and even the idea that it might be someone who works at the hostel would have come to mind before the man who is actually waiting there.

“Mingi…” you exhale in partial shock.

“Would you please come on a walk with me, Ghost?” His gas mask hangs loose around his neck, and he reaches up to point at it when your gaze flits downwards. “Bring yours if you’d like to come along.”

“Why not here?”

“There are too many eyes and ears here. The walls are thin. I would rather not talk about this in front of San. I do not want it to go back to the wr—to other people.” Every bit of his reasoning comes across as very matter-of-fact, but it all makes sense and you can’t argue with it.

“Okay,” you say through a nod, “okay, hold on.”

Mingi remains at the door as you move back to the bathroom, leaning through the doorframe to catch San’s attention while he’s brushing his teeth.

“I’m going out for a little bit with Mingi.”

San hums before leaning over the sink and spitting what’s left in his mouth out. “Be safe and bring your mask. Don’t worry about waking me when you get back if I’m asleep, just come in comfortably. I’ll try to stay up until you return though.”

“You don’t have to do that.” The way he’s smiling at you implies that he won’t listen to your words. “Sleep well, I love you.”

“I love you too. Dearly. Let me know if there are any pretty sights out there at night!”

You retrieve your mask from the top of the dresser on your way back to where Mingi is patiently waiting.

“I apologize for bringing you out so late,” the Berserker says once you shut your bedroom door behind you.

“No, it’s alright. You’ll be awfully busy with the cargo tomorrow as well, so this is fine. Besides, part of me is curious about what’s so special about nighttime here.” Mingi doesn’t laugh when you do, but he does plaster on something semi-adjacent to a smile. The two of you both secure your masks around your faces before even reaching the bottom of the stairs, although you have to fiddle with the straps a lot more than he does to make it sit comfortably over your nose. Mingi presses the door open with one hand, and you brace yourself for something dramatic or violent to happen yet that never comes. Air filters in and out of your gas mask, not even leaving a scent to pass through.

“Please, follow me. I found a spot while I was making cargo trips today that looked quite nice. I think it’ll be a good spot to talk.” He walks slow enough for you to keep up without a struggle, even if you are somewhat distracted by examining every inch of your surroundings as you go. It’s fascinating to a certain extent because, despite all the warnings and concerns about nighttime, you still find an inordinate amount of people milling about the cobbled streets freely. No masks in sight on many, and some have them on their being but only hung about their necks like the masks are nothing but a statement piece and nothing functional to be used. The sight makes your skin itch and burn, a certain level of discomfort washing over you as you urge yourself to keep pace with Mingi. The chime hanging down from your right ear jingles with every step you take, and it sounds so awfully loud against the thick material of the mask.

The Berserker brings you over to the edge of the gorge, somewhere along the very place you initially arrived at, where there is nothing but braided rope stretched taut between lampposts to keep people from tumbling to an unsightly doom. Those same lampposts bear purple flames just as the others you saw in the city, but to see them against the night skin makes their glow seem all the more ominous. Down below lies that foggy ravine, although you can’t bear to look at it for long.

Mingi pauses by the ropes and grips the topmost one with both hands. You join in alongside him, squeezing the material tight as you look over across the gorge. In the night, you can just hardly make out the outline of The Horizon in the distance, yet it looks so terribly foreign and desolate with it’s lights fully shut off.

“May I ask you something about Sirens?”

“Oh! Yes, absolutely, though I may not be ab—”

“Is Jongho a Siren?”

“—what?” You blink at your companion several times before his words sink in. “What?!”

“Is Jongho a Siren?” he repeats like nothing he said was out of the ordinary in the slightest.

“He’s — he’s a Berserker. He’s got the red eyes, and the strength of at least twenty men combined, and he can do things the rest of us can’t.”

“Yes, but he can influence emotions, no?” Mingi lets one hand fall to his side in favor of turning more toward you.

“Well, yes.”

“Can you? As a Siren?”

“Not like that, I can only—” you’re forced to bite your words back when the risk of exposing the others presents itself. Mingi will know if you’re lying, he’ll feel the increase in your heart rate surely like a shark smelling blood in the water. You must do your best to choose your next words so carefully that he won’t even suspect there are others amongst the crew. “Sirens can only sense other Sirens’ emotions. I cannot feel what you are feeling at this moment. The best I can do for anyone who is not a Siren is sympathize or empathize with them from person to person, but I cannot genuinely and truly know what they’re feeling. Nor can I feel those feelings myself. What Jongho does is different. He feels everyone’s emotions as though theirs are his own, like you do I’m sure, but he’s no Siren.”

“He draws emotions out of others like a siphon and takes them onto himself. Sirens are not capable of anything like that?”

Again you bite your tongue. What Mingi knows of Sirens must be very cut and dry — anything that could be drawn out of a book or fed to him through people such as Hongjoong or Yunho. If Seonghwa spoke to him, there’s no way of knowing what extent of the truth the man shared with Mingi. For the best, you would be wise not to mention the existence of Sirens such as Wooyoung and yourself.

“No, they are not.” You look down at where your hands cling to the rope barrier, finding your knuckles white with the effort of gripping it. “The most I can do is try to soothe another Siren by projecting my feelings towards them like some sort of projection, but that does nothing to force any certain emotion onto them. They will still feel the same as they did but simply be made aware of what I am feeling too. And that ability does not work on people who aren’t Sirens.” Except for the fact that I have forced thoughts into Hongjoong’s head somehow.

Mingi redirects his gaze to the gorge.

“Part of me desired a different answer honestly.”

“I… don’t understand?”

“I wished to hear that Jongho’s abilities were that of some strange cross between a Siren and a Berserker that muddled the genetic pool of his abilities. For years, he has been the one to assist me in coming down from episodes. While Captain and Healer have made attempts to do so themselves, they consistently require Jongho’s help. He is always the one called to do so. I know for certain that there are times when I feel myself fighting back urges, when I am strong enough to win back control from the voices without Jongho using his little ability… I still cannot help but doubt how much of it comes from my own efforts and how much is his influence with that trick.” The Berserker’s voice remains void of any clue as to what he’s feeling, but the stare he casts over the gorge seems so forlorn that it makes your chest ache. “I know why he does it, but I also know why he does it without telling those he’s taking from most times. Because he knows they would not approve and that, in his mind, there is something morally grey about it.” It draws a sigh out of Mingi’s lips, and he turns around, leaning against the railing with his elbows propped up on the rope. “Do you not find it selfish?”

“I understand Jongho is trying to help so it’s hard to say that there is something inherently bad in what he’s doing,” you say as quietly as you can manage while still being audible. “I caught him doing it to me one time, and that enraged me beyond belief because it was against my will. I was robbed of the choice to feel my emotions. Is that selfish?”

“Yes.” You expected as much. “Doing something that robs another of a choice is always selfish and self-serving, even if there is good to be had in doing it. I do not wish to think of him as selfish because I’m aware that he has very particular reasons for doing what he does — as an act of self-preservation and to try to even out the moral scales that he believes are tipped against him.”

“What would truly be different if he were a Siren?”

“Ah. Well then, I could at least assume that Captain was the one pulling the strings behind Jongho in an attempt to keep me on my leash. Not that that would be needed for me in particular. My loyalty has never wavered regardless of what Captain has done in the past, but then again, he has never tried to do anything to me directly.” Mingi’s gaze slips down to you, torn from the scene ahead of him that consists of watching natives move above the streets. “Sorry.” The single word is flat and void of any semblance of emotion.

“Why’re you saying that?”

“Because that’s what people do when they desire to console others.”

“Do you feel that I need to be consoled?” His words hadn’t made you feel any type of way — positive or negative — so it’s a wonder why Mingi would think you need to be comforted by an apology right now. The Berserker tilts his chin back, and it forces his gaze to the night sky overhead.

“No,” he starts, “you feel oddly neutral tonight with me.” Though you cannot see a smile thanks to his gas mask, you are the recipient of a rare laugh from the man. You have no clue what caused him to laugh, but it’s nice to hear the sound nonetheless.

“You don’t need to say sorry. I understand why my loyalty needs to be twisted into place in Hongjoong’s eyes.”

“You killed a king before, didn’t you?”

“…Yes.”

“Why?”

The question stumps you not because you cannot think of a reason but rather because many immediate answers fight to be at the forefront of your mind.

“He was a bad person.”

“Yet you view Captain as such too.” Mingi once again redirects focus to you. this time you make direct eye contact with the man, and the deadpan expression across his face combined with his next words makes your gut twist with anxiety. “Were you to try to kill him then I would kill you.”

“He would kill me himself long before I got the chance to even dream up the thought of doing such a thing.” Mingi does not appear wholly convinced. “Oddly enough, I do not want him dead so I suppose we’re all safe.”

Mingi clenches and unclenches his fists, easing his elbows further back on the railing. You can see the ship in the distance still, far across the gorge and still settled on the landing pad. It looks strangely lifeless in this light, with the knowledge that no one is aboard, yet you think that it is a long overdue rest for all her hard work and flights of late.

“Do you view yourself as a good person, Y/n?” Mingi angles his body towards you as he poses the question. Rather than giving you an opening to respond, he continues on speaking, “In the books I read, good and evil exist, and good always tries to end the evil. So do you view yourself as the good trying to kill the evil in this universe?”

“No.” You clear your throat before beginning again with more confidence in your tone. “No, I do not. What’s bad in my eyes very well may be good in others. There were many who were happy with the king, who thought him good, and he did do good at times. He was not all bad, but I perceived him as such for a short time. All it takes is that short time to want to do something bad to someone you think deserves it.”

“I fail to understand it that way,” your companion retorts. “My father told me before every match in the arena that the opponent was nobody of worth or value in the universe. They were neither good nor evil by his standards. Just a life that did not need to be lived, and it was my job to make way for other lives in place of theirs.”

“Then your father was trying to teach you that you were doing something good?”

“To an extent, sure, but I never understood it that way because I never had an understanding of emotion or good versus evil back then. And maybe good and evil don’t exist at all, maybe it’s all perception that’s in the eye of the beholder.” He angles his head further down but looks off over your shoulder with a sort of faraway gleam in his dark red eyes. “Perhaps at the end of the day… all we do are things that are based on a perception that we try to convince ourselves is a universal truth.” He sees something behind you, yet there is nothing but air and a freefall there. A ghost, perhaps, that has come to haunt him for merely breathing the faintest mention of his father.

All of a sudden, he shoves away from the railing and steps off like he’s going to head back the way you came.

“We should head back now before it gets too late.”

“You go on ahead, I want to stay out a bit longer.” In the blink of an eye, Mingi is back at your side, head drawn so close to your ear that his mask bumps against yours.

“It would be best to leave now and save the sightseeing for later.” His hushed tone urges you to glance back at your surroundings, and what reads as concern to you is fortified by the lingering stares sent your way by those on the streets.

“I understand.” Yet still when Mingi tries to leave again, you remain rooted to the spot. Something else crosses your mind suddenly, something San had said to you in regard to his honesty. “Mingi. Have you ever seen San be cruel?”

Silence.

The Berserker turns his body until it’s perpendicular to yours and finds you still lingering at the railing.

“What does it look like?” you continue upon deciphering his silence as affirmation.

“…Like nothing you have ever seen.” He extends a hand towards you. “Come.”

How would you know that, how could you know such things, when doors are shut and I’m in his arms? Who could possibly know?

Your heart soars with his words nonetheless. Despite it all, here Mingi stands still trying to reassure you.

Your gaze lingers on the foggy waters below, with their odd glow and minty green hue. Something rattles you, another thing beckons you.

“There’s something down there,” you utter once you release your grip on the railing and take Mingi’s hand.

“I know,” he says quietly, “I hear it too.”

Mingi delivers you to your door safely and in one piece. He bids you goodnight with a small bow of his head but not a single comment concerning all that the two of you discussed on your excursion outside. Just as you’re turning the door handle to go inside, he pauses in the hallway and thanks you for your time. The conversation plays on repeat in your mind as you change into nightclothes and wash your face. When you join San in bed at long last, he has already fallen asleep with a book folding over his bare chest. It seems he really did try to stay awake waiting for you to return. You turn the light beside the bed off. Your mind is still far too busy to let you shut your eyes right away, so you spend some time facing San and staring at his profile through the darkness.

Mingi had seemed so sure of what he said. You rest a hand on San’s cheek and turn his face towards you just to see his features better. He barely shifts at the touch.

“Even if something small, even if the words and prayers of a nonbeliever are not enough to be a suitable blessing, it at least has my heart behind it. I wish for your safety every night and your happiness every morning anyway, so what’s the harm in hoping this will do the same?”

The trinkets on your ears feel so heavy under the weight of that blessing.

“Missed you,” San mumbles suddenly, clearly less asleep than you initially thought. He adjusts to drape an arm around your body and brings your head up to lay flat against his chest. No more words are exchanged as he goes right back to sleep, but you lay there with your ear atop his heart listening to the steady and rhythmic thumping like it’s a lullaby to put you to bed.

Good people can do bad things just as bad ones can do good. Those are the words you wished you had shared with Mingi earlier. But in his perspective, that is entirely incorrect.

Maybe people are simply that — people. Good and bad are things normal, regular, plain people do, but not definitive of what they are at the end of the day. It’s a rather beautiful outlook on the universe, you must admit.

──────────── a/n: yoohoo big summer (delayed delayed delayed) blowout! moc style! aheem aheem. i apologize every chapter for delayed updates so im certain lots of yall are like yeah yeah caly okay... okay... but! here we are. i wrestled a lot with many parts of this chapter and was super unhappy when i finished (beyond just being relieved it was over) but after my besties read it and gave me feedback i feel so much better about it and my writing so i am very happy with this <3

so! from this chapter on (i will be mentioning this again in the next chapter and the subsequent ones) i ask that you very much pay attention to details... this act is a dicey one and there will be much interchanging between things that are real and things that are not. there are cues to clue you in on when it is real versus when it's not!! of course i will happily help show those clues where i can bc i don't want anyone to be in the dark or clueless but do not that i do not want the writing to suffer bec im attempting to overexplain it in the text! that being said i hope this chapter was well worth the wait and thank you always for being patient and kind with me 🙇‍♀️

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez series #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #wooyoung x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #jongho x reader #ateez fanfic #mists of celeste #caly.writes

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ladyluscinia · 7 months

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"What if it weren't like that?"

...or I'd like to propose a different theory of what's going on in Edward's head.

Going into the S2 finale, I feel like there's once again a huge consensus that Edward and piracy are an unsustainable mix, and he has to quit. Specifically after 2x07 he knows for sure, 100% that he wants to quit, and he's pulling away from Stede because he doesn't know how to communicate that certainty to him.

There's a very established meta framework backing up this belief. It's not new, just everyone pointing and saying "look! - the show is affirming us" at the same time. And it does make a lot of points about foundational trauma, the violence of the lifestyle, etc. I don't need to break it down for you. If you're seeing this post then you've seen the arguments before.

The thing is... I'm not actually sold on this read.

Edward is a complicated guy and I love to try and peel back his layers, and I'm not sure that retirement is truly his endgame. And maybe more importantly... I'm not sure retirement endgame is quite the thematic crescendo it's being presented as.

So let's talk a bit about Edward, particularly in 2x06 and 2x07.

---

Edward's Ongoing Depression Spiral

The thing about backsliding - and the Kraken was a pretty monumental backslide - is that even if you gain a lot of ground afterward, you still might not be much further than where you started.

Edward believing change is possible with Button's 2x04 guidance + his & Stede's conversation about taking it slow at the end of 2x05 are both huge steps for a guy that was openly suicidal at the beginning of the season. However, in the grand scheme of things, he's pretty much cycled back to the dilemma he was facing in S1 - continuing life as it was is intolerable, but he doesn't actually have a solid idea of what he wants. "Stede" is not a real, actionable answer.

In S1, this caused him to run recklessly into extremes of vulnerability with Stede because Stede was doing something different. He tried to metaphorically cut loose his entire history - as a pirate, as Blackbeard, as Edward Teach - and become a new "Ed" with no baggage, who was free to live an endless vacation honeymoon with his new boyfriend. And when the consequences of their own actions came crashing back in - an abandoned Izzy, Spanish Jackie, and Chauncey Badminton - Edward's desperate actions to save Stede turned into over-commitment to a guy he barely knows, a reckless plan to run halfway around the world to escape himself, and then a truly disastrous downturn when that blew up in his face.

Wherever you go, there you are - except Edward hates that guy. Edward's only concrete want so far for the new direction of his life is the one thing that's impossible - to not be Edward Teach.

So now, back to contemplating the same unknown future he was trying to chase in S1, the Kraken Era has given Edward new perspective, for better and worse. (I'm gonna link my rambling BlackHands / Kraken Era thoughts from 2x01 - 2x03 just because.) He's learned caution and is dipping his toes in self-reflection - Stede's love alone is not enough to save him, and his self-loathing has been acknowledged. Reckless pursuit of change without growth was doomed - an important lesson both Stede and Edward have started to learn.

Unfortunately, growth requires looking backwards, and if Edward was already disinclined to that due to killing his dad, he's struggling so much worse now that he's got months of fresh atrocities that he absolutely did not need to commit.

---

Drowning in Guilt

Edward's core trauma that he flashes to constantly goes back to killing his dad that night - something notably not associated with piracy. That guilt is the root of his self-loathing, but Edward is a rather troubled grown man with guilt aplenty, especially after the first two episodes of S2.

In 2x05 Edward starts with a CEO scripted non-apology firmly recategorizing all of his Kraken actions as "whatever that nasty dark stuff was that brought us here... it's in the past", and then his discussion with Stede does not involve too much reflection on why this probation is necessary and drops this gem:

"Oh fuck no. Apologizing? Nah. Didn't apologize for jack shit."

However - demonstrating self awareness / growth - he's also clearly projecting guilt and a desire (that's almost too big to look at) to apologize to Izzy for everything, and then he honestly talks with Fang (who he's known for 20 years!) about how he can not be understandably mad at him, after Fang pushes back on Edward's toxic rewriting of Knife Parade. He even learns to sit with himself!

All of which makes the start of 2x06 so layered.

We open with Edward sitting with himself, looking out over the ocean and stewing in guilt - in order: his dad, the storm, Izzy's toe, shooting Izzy, driving the crew to mutiny - and then the conversation that Edward was haunted by all last episode comes to him. He's back in his leathers - playacting the penitent with the onesie and cat bell got old after a day, and he had never truly linked his probation rules with any of his earnest feelings of remorse. Just a necessary performance to appease the crew.

Now he's himself again, as uncomfortable in his own skin as ever, and Edward Teach apologizes for Izzy's leg. He isn't being demanded to apologize by Izzy (no matter how much he may deserve it). Izzy is fully prepared to pretend it never happened despite the evidence of his body. But Edward wants to - needs to for the babiest step toward his own peace of mind - and so he does.

And then he flees from one guilt and accidentally stumbles into another. Stede has so helpfully pulled all Edward's Kraken treasure into one place, and Edward lampshades it:

"Excellent. A reminder of all my guilt. A guilt room."

Now, Stede has a decent idea here. His "poison into positivity" bit is not bad (and it echoes the language Izzy and Edward used - though I think it's a tossup whether Stede heard about that or if the parallel is purely on a Doylist level). It definitely lifts Edward's mood for the day and pulls him out of his guilt spiral for a bit.

Until it comes back so much worse.

Ned Low. Oh fuck the implications of Ned Low.

So here's the thing. People have rightly observed that Edward broke Ned's record intentionally during Kraken Era. In fact, since he makes the comment about "We got a record to break" after the wedding boat aka the last ship he takes, and Ned isn't coming after him for a tie, presumably he set the new record and then proceeded to break it over and over again. Just to rub it in. Just to really piss the sadist off.

And if Edward's attempt to take the whole ship and crew down with a storm at his lowest point was bad, what he was courting by baiting Ned before the season even started was worse. This is a man who would have tortured everyone on the breakup boat to death when he caught up to them, and Edward was passively planning on letting him do it.

Edward knows this.

Poison into positivity just became "oh shit I forgot I'm the most poisonous thing any of these people have ever run into," and he's just getting started. It's hard to shove it down and brush it off and pretend it was no big deal when Stede starts getting the hot poker to the chest.

He doesn't want to kill Ned because he's not worth the poison, but the poison is already here.

When Stede kills Ned, Edward has already spiraled. He's already got a whole narrative in his head about how this is all his fault, how this is his poison, his guilt, his Kraken surfacing to ruin Stede too.

"I'm not a good person, Stede. That's why I don't have any friends," Edward chokes out.

"It all boils down to this - You're afraid you're unlovable," snarls Hornigold's ghost in the gravy basket.

"I hate myself," Edward realizes.

"Don't do it, Stede. Killing in cold blood" - like I did - "you can't come back from that" - like I haven't.

Edward's guilt is projecting all over this scene. He's made some baby steps toward seeing Stede as a flawed person vs mythical mermaid whose love can save him, but the idealization is still coloring both their views. Stede still hasn't told Edward about any of his childhood traumas or deep seated insecurities, and Edward has continuously avoided putting together that Stede is fucked up as well. He's convinced himself that killing Ned Low is a great tragedy that will permanently scar Stede's previously unblemished goodness in a way that is all Edward's fault, and he's sticking to it despite how completely it does not apply.

Reality has never been much good at breaking through his self-loathing before.

Izzy tries to warn him to give Stede a minute, but Edward doesn't listen. And while there's a good amount of concerned boyfriend in that act, I also suspect there's more than a little self-harm. Edward's spiraling about what he's wrought. He shows up at Stede's door already paralleling this to killing his dad. Of course he wants to be in the blast radius.

Apparently, having sex about it.

---

"Bye-Bye" Blackbeard, See You Again Soon

Last season, when Edward's ignoring his past went poorly, he tried to metaphorically bundle Blackbeard and all his traumas up and cast them into the sea. He was "Edward Teach Born-on-a-Beach," and then "No-Beard" who found folding stuff in prison fun, and then he's kissing Stede and getting excited about picking new, cool names for China, because:

"Our old lives would be gone. Dead. Never were."

Edward, babygirl, that is not how that works.

Now, he's actively backsliding down a guilt spiral, just had ill-advised sex a day after the "take it slow" talk that he's already regretting, and he gets up in the morning, pulls on another goddamn robe, and goes to literally bundle Blackbeard up and cast him into the sea.

Babe you already tried this.

I don't think it's a coincidence that disposing of his leathers signals Edward is back to reckless change instead of intentional change. He tries to make breakfast in bed despite never having ever made breakfast before and explains his twine as a panicked decision. The idealization of Stede is back in force - he chooses now to tell him about the mermaid vision - "fantastic," he describes him - and thanks him for saving his life. (Once again, in times of trouble, Edward is the one offering up rosy imaginations for their relationship that swallow him whole and Stede is shoving his recent childhood trauma flashbacks down to be Normal™.)

In the Republic, Edward does avoid becoming straight up jealous of all Stede's positive infamy, but he's also doing his hardcore all or nothing thing again - this time running away from himself toward a grubby, poor, "nobody" version of Ed (or do we think he's gonna try "Jeff" again?). Jackie calls his attention to how his new life direction (as of 6 hours ago) is not necessarily aligned with Stede's, and - rather than doing something as crazy as talking - he mutters "shit" and heads to the docks where Izzy finds him.

For a guy who felt "Fucking great" throwing away his leathers, Edward sounds kind of sarcastic, even if I'm sure he's feeling just as light as he was on that Naval Academy beach. But Izzy - going through his own shit but still trying to be supportive - opened this conversation with a joke about Stede and I suspect thinks they are talking about putting the "Edward retiring to be with Stede" plan back on the table. (Edward could clear this up, but he's still not communicating his emotions to Izzy.) So Izzy encourages him:

"Maybe you should listen to it."

Edward's face falls, he looks back down at the fishing boat, and apparently gets himself a new job. He just needs to go dump his boyfriend about it. They're simply incompatible, you see?

Edward's a fisherman now. He's gonna sit with himself until he finds a better guy in there, just like Fang taught him. (Don't blame Fang for this 😆 he just wanted Edward to stop talking!)

Now there's a lot going on in the breakup scene, but I want to talk about one statement Edward makes (keeping in mind he's already spiraled all the way into his new fisherman identity):

"I don't even know who I am! Alright, I know I don't want to be a pirate, but you..."

Because, see - I don't think the second part of that is necessarily true.

It's not that Edward doesn't want to be "a pirate". That's what he's using as shorthand (and a way to strongly delineate his new career from Stede: "Fishermen and pirates - they're nothing alike.").

What he's not saying is, once again, I know I don't want to be Edward Teach.

And, babygirl, I love you... but too fucking bad.

---

Better Piracy as a Theme

There's a lot of meta around about how Edward views piracy as a kind of enforced toxic masculinity. How his traumas are woven so thoroughly into his Blackbeard career that the thought of continuing as a pirate is killing him. He has to retire. It's the only way he'll truly be happy as "just Edward."

And I question that framing.

Like... Edward clearly has trauma tied up in piracy. His time on Hornigold's ship appears to have defined his (and Calico's Jack's) fairly fucked up approach to casual violence. His time as Blackbeard has enabled his poor impulses, and he is absolutely sick of piracy as he's experienced it the first time we meet him. That's not in question.

But while leaving is one solution, I think change is another.

In the OFMD universe, piracy is not a stand-in for toxic masculinity. Stede, an outsider, describes it as a "culture of abuse" in the first episode, but it's the culture of piracy where we see openly gay relationships, polyamory, freedom of expression in clothing and presentation, the oppressed having power... to treat piracy as inherently toxic is to deny that the culture of piracy is what gave life to Calypso's Birthday party. Our main characters are pirates.

There is a lot of violence and most pirates are very troubled people, but it's not piracy's fault. That's getting the cause and effect reversed. The "problem" with piracy and pirate culture is that the people coming into it and building this community are already traumatized.

As Edward points out to Stede:

"It's usually something like that. It's often family-based stuff."

(Also the problem might be the pirate Captains, lol. I mean, if you start listing the major drivers and enablers of toxic culture... Hornigold, Ned Low, Calico Jack, Blackbeard. Fortunate, then, that the crew of the Revenge is demonstrating that piracy can also be about workers' unions and supporting each other against your shitty boss while operating in a thriving community. He can play nice or get out.)

Oluwande tells us from the start that people don't choose to be pirates - they get forced into it by terrible circumstances in a terrible society. Piracy is the community that accepts the outcasts, but it can't magically fix them. They have to do that themselves, which our crew is showing can be done.

Stede did not swan in with all the answers, but he gave his crew the space and all the confused-yet-well-meant support they needed to strengthen their own bonds and community. Oluwande and Frenchie especially have been really stepping up in leadership positions. Like, the whole plot of 2x05 was showing they have successfully formed a union and that they will operate as a united front against their captains if need arises. It's so good!

They are living that better culture that Stede wanted so bad, and it's not just our crew.

Piracy influenced by the Revenge crew has been shown as helpful and even desirable to chase.

Hellcat Maggie and the rest of Low's crew don't sail off to get new jobs - they are resuming piracy but this time talking about profit sharing. Anne and Mary, our oh so aggressive BlackBonnet mirrors, retired from piracy together like Edward was dreaming of in 1x09, and what "fixes" them is burning it all down and returning to piracy (rejecting Mary's fears) with their love at the forefront of their minds.

Edward wants to leave piracy behind forever because he has depression and hates himself, but the biggest thing he hates himself for isn't even a thing he did as a pirate. He's pushing back on his Hornigold trauma from the moment we meet him - in fact, I have a whole other meta idea I need to pull together after the season about how he has potentially thought he was doing "soft piracy" in spite of Hornigold this whole time - but the guilt he feels about killing his dad is still too big for him to even look at. And that won't go away even if he could cut 20+ years of Blackbeard out of his chest.

He's bored. He was stagnating. He needs to address that knot of self-loathing before it successfully drowns him.

Maybe people are right and he could be the one pirate to find peace operating a bed and breakfast? Maybe he'll follow in Jackie's footsteps and stay connected to the community by running a gay bar or something?

But I also think, maybe, he has a community surrounding him, a home and love on the sea, and a career with plenty of aspects he did enjoy - sailing, fuckeries, luxuries, creative problem solving - and he might just need to join everyone in striving for a better culture?

And step one would be realizing that wherever he goes, he's still Edward Teach, and he's got to stop running from that fact.

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta #my meta #blackbeard ofmd #edward teach #character arcs #ofmd piracy #ofmd 2x06 #ofmd 2x07 #really wanted to get this one out before the finale because i imagine it's going to either support my theory or cut its legs out #and if it's the former i want the opportunity to be smug 😘#ladyluscinia

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quinloki · 2 months

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Sooo imagine reader/ y/n escapes, they get to an island for a couple months evade capture but then marinford happens and the wb pirates are disbanded/scatters or doin there own thing but one of them end up on the same island as y/n with the obsession still intact and finding them again has rekindled it even more.

How would they react on when they're alone without the other's input?would they contact each other and group up? what would be going through their heads?

(yan au where everyone survives except wb)

💧-anon

(feel free to completely ignore my ramblings but i have so many things i think ab and need to tell/ask ❤️)

I feel how someone would react would depend on the crew member. I'm not going to hit up everyone, just my usual suspects, so bear with me.

CW: Yandere, dub con / non con vibes, nothing explicit a lot of what ifs and summaries.

Marco would not contact anyone else. I love this man, but Yandere Marco is POSSESSIVE. He shares you with his brothers only because they are his brothers. If no one else ended up on this island with you and him then that's a them problem, and not HIS problem.

Depending on the manner of your escape would depend how Marco was, but regardless of if he thinks you left or were stolen away, he'll be delighted to have you back. You'll never leave his sight again, and if you do have to be away from him for any reason he'll make sure he knows where you are.

You will drown in him, whether its his love or his anger, but he will mark you, fill you up, and leave you exhausted and delirious more than not.

Ace would contact the others. He'd be so relieved to see you safe, and whether anyone else thought you left, he'd be convinced it had to be against your will. He'll be seeking reassurance to that end, and if you're smart you're going to give it to him. Shore up your story if you need it with Ace's help, because the other will be far harder to convince, even if what you're telling is the truth.

Whatever happens, and however things play out though, you'll always run into Ace. He'll pop out of the ground like a fucking daisy sometimes, scaring the hell out of you even though that wasn't his intent. But playful or endearing, don't think for a second it's accidental.

If you don't reassure him, if you do tell him you left because you wanted to, his reaction will be worse. He'll claim you as his and you'll probably have burn scars by the time the others arrive. It'll take Marco weeks to get you back into some sort of semblance of who you were - assuming he can even soothe the scars.

Thatch will let you set the narrative, and hell he'll even let you decide if he reaches out to anyone else or not. If you want to elope with just him, he'd be more than happy to oblige. He doesn't mind sharing with his brothers, but he won't deny such a heart felt confession and plea from you either.

He's likely to do to you what Marco would, making love to you until you're a pile of mush, exhausted and almost out of your mind. His stamina far exceeds your own, and he has months of catching up to do, he's missed you so much. And don't worry, he'll feed you and make sure you're hydrated, even clean your home, and earn money, you'll be too tired to worry about any of that anyway.

With Izou in the mix the rope burns on your joints are apt to become permanent. It doesn't matter if you say you didn't want to leave, you'll never be able to be taken away so easily ever again. He'll let the others know about you, and your fate will probably be decided by committee.

You will be under the influence of something when you're questioned, so unless you're really good at lying that's not going to be an option here. You're likely to survive your punishment, for better or worse, but whatever island you end up on with everyone (whoever constitutes everyone), the islanders are going to understand your position in the crew. Or misunderstand it.

but the only friends you'll have will be the brothers that take care of you. You'll want for nothing, save maybe freedom.

#quin answers #anon asks #yandere #cw yandere #reader insert #x reader #marco the phoenix #izou one piece #thatch one piece #portgas d ace

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the-obnoxious-sibling · 6 months

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Hello,

I found your takes very interesting and I would love to discuss them a big more.

Your analysis of the Shanksbuggy break up is really great based on what we have (Buggy pov of what happened) but I also want to add that they are teenagers that just saw one of the most important person in their eyes died. Obviously they're not in the best position to have a very clear discussion about future and it's even worse if you add to the mix the tendency of Buggy to jump to conclusion and the love of mystery of Shanks. And I also think in a way it a discussion about grief and mourning and how different people have different reaction to it.

I also have some hypothesis about why they changed their opinion about separating each other because they don't have the same dream.

- The first one is what happened quickly after their discussion: Buggy eating the devil fruit. The fact this incident is what Buggy uses as an excuse to explain his hatred of Shanks is obviously now a lie to himself but there is probably a part of true in that this incident changed their relationship and makes them more codependent due to Buggy's inability to swim while living on a boat. There is also probably a discussion to have with the quite weird relationship of Roger's crew and devil fruit (The fact that no one except Buggy have one).

- The second one is the circonstances of them leaving the crew. When discussing their plan, they speak about Leaving the crew and building something in a way which is very similar to a child leaving their parents house to go study or work. It's an active decision. (Even if Buggy's action at the time is closer to a teenager running away than a future adult 😅). But that's not what happened in the end, their departure from the ship is a decision which is forced on them and with quite a traumatic end. It willmakes sense then that they stick to each other.

- The third hypothesis is that they become teenagers and they went from best friends to lovers.

(Sorry I did end up writing a lot) 😅

hello! don't apologize for writing a lot, i am a big fan of writing a lot myself! …as you’ll see in this post. >>;

and you're very right, these are good points to bring up that i haven’t really gotten into before. grief, and the ways their circumstances changed (or might have changed—as you’ll see, i’m not totally convinced about one of your hypotheticals) after that first conversation. let's get into it!

grief.

the context for their fight, and the grief they must be feeling in that moment, is definitely worth taking into consideration. there's something of a truism that you shouldn't make big decisions in the first six months to a year after suffering the loss of a loved one, because during that early mourning period you simply aren't thinking clearly. you may make hasty, impulsive decisions that you'll regret later, or the additional stress of attempting to take action while emotionally burdened will cause things to go wrong. it's better, we tend to agree, to wait.

if buggy is asking shanks to go to laugh tale right now, that’s a textbook hasty decision, and one likely to go poorly if acted on. (i’ve stated my opinion to the contrary in tags before, but that is just my opinion.) and buggy’s rejection of shanks’ offer also seems impulsively made! a knee-jerk reaction to getting an unexpected response, that could also be the influence of grief though buggy is pretty impulsive in general so who knows.

in contrast, shanks deciding not to go to laugh tale ‘for now’ can be seen as recognition that it would be better, smarter, to wait.

at this point, i’d like to point out that we don’t know what life was like for buggy and shanks between dropping oden off at wano and this conversation in roguetown. as far as we know, nothing of significance happened after the roger pirates disbanded—emphasis on as far as we know. we don’t even know if buggy and shanks spent those months together, or if they met by chance at roger’s execution!

all that to say: we don’t know what the status quo for these two looks like in this moment. is shanks asking buggy to come with him asking him to stay together, to continue as they have been, or is this yet another impulsive decision? are they both trying to take action too quickly?

i think this was definitely a bad time to be discussing these topics—but there might not have been another time available to them. we know there were a lot of pirates in roguetown that day—and a lot of marines, too. there may have been an urgency to this moment that we can’t appreciate right now, with the information we have.

changing circumstances 1: the chop-chop fruit.

i used to think it was curious that buggy was the only devil fruit user on the roger pirate crew, until i remembered what other crews around at the time were like. specifically:

whitebeard, himself a devil fruit user, is all about embracing weird outcast types and bringing them into his crew (and his family). so to people who were already devil fruit users, who consider becoming pirates because they’ve been shunned and cast out of their home and society, whitebeard’s gotta be the go-to guy. he already knows what it’s like! he must have extra measures in place to keep his sons from falling overboard! you’ll be safe with him!

kaidou, also a devil fruit user, loves getting devil fruit users in his crew. he’s not as friendly or paternal a captain, but if you aren’t interested in that energy—if you got yourself a devil fruit for power’s sake but found the downsides made it hard to be on your own—he’s a good option.

basically, i think most people who went into piracy in those days already in possession of devil fruit powers found themselves drawn to captains who had one too—understandably so, in my opinion. a ship where no one has a devil fruit, would they know how to look out for you? for all you know, they’re one of those superstitious crews who take the “ocean’s curse” line seriously! better to stick with someone you know has devil fruit experience.

buggy’s one of the uncommon few to eat a devil fruit after becoming a pirate. that whole crew was offered the opportunity to eat the thing, and he was the only one who dared—because the rest knew that it was a risky move at best, especially with an unknown fruit. the power you get might not be worth the cost, especially for someone who makes their living on the sea.

we forget this, i think because there’s so many devil fruit users in one piece, but devil fruits are hard to come by! we’re seeing a small sliver of the population who managed to get their hands on one and then managed to survive the downsides. that the roger pirates ever found one was a rare thing. they didn’t even know for sure if it was real when buggy ate it!

all this to say, i don’t know that i believe the chop-chop fruit changes much about the shanks-buggy dynamic, except in the “he betrayed me!!” angle it brings to buggy’s future grudge against him. (not that i think this is what buggy considers to be shanks’ real betrayal. it’s just the one he can talk about without revealing his roger pirate history.) so buggy can’t swim anymore! so what?! neither can whitebeard! shanks, you better not look down on me for this!! etc, etc.

now, how much of that would just be talk from buggy? (i.e., claiming ‘you better not look down on me, i don’t need your help’ but clinging to shanks’ arm the second a wave looks like it might crash over the deck?) probably a fair amount! but i don’t think that’s a significant change in behavior from buggy, his words and actions often disagree.

changing circumstances 2: roger pirates disbanded.

it is one thing to boldly claim as a child that you’re going to be a great pirate captain, and quite another to actually do it. it probably helps to spend years on a great pirate captain’s ship, to see how he does it, to eventually start to wonder to yourself, would i do it that way, if it were me in charge? but even then, when you’ve been quietly thinking about it, maybe announcing your intentions a few times, setting aside the most important things to take with you on the day when you finally leave, on the day when you’ll finally feel ready to leave—

all that is very different from being told that everyone is leaving. that you don’t have a choice about when to go. that there will be nowhere and no one to return to if it turns out you weren’t ready to be on your own after all.

as i mentioned earlier, we don’t know what the time after the roger pirates disbanded was like for shanks and buggy. were they relying on the kindness of near-strangers, people who half-remembered them as members of roger’s crew from their first trip through the GL? were they lucky enough to be the last ones let go, at a trusted island in that early part of paradise? did shanks have enough understanding of conqueror’s haki at that age to get his ship through the calm belt when the news about roger’s arrest went out, or did a ship traveling into east blue end up with a stowaway or two?

any way you look at it, i have to imagine being a teenager alone (or nearly alone) on the grand line must have been terrifying. who wouldn’t think back on childhood dreams of independence and wince at that poor child, who didn’t know how good they had it? after going it alone against your will, who wouldn’t cling to a familiar face?

circumstances change 3: relationship upgrade.

kind of in line with the above: after being thrown into the world alone, unexpectedly, who wouldn’t cling to a familiar face? or… more than cling? 😉 but seriously, i’m a bit of a pessimist about this hypothesis. i think it can make sense, it just also makes me sad.

because if shanks wants buggy to come with him because they’re romantically involved, i think that would make buggy less certain of his place in shanks’ life. crew is crew forever! even when you leave the ship, you’re still a part of its crew deep down. a kissing relationship, though… that can go away easy as the wind. if shanks wants him around to kiss, what happens if they stop kissing? does shanks stop wanting him around?

but also: does buggy want to be around shanks, if he only wants buggy around to kiss? isn’t buggy a pirate worthy of shanks’ respect?! didn’t he grow up on the same ship, learning the same lessons? why shouldn’t he be captain of his own ship?! why is he even kissing this idiot in the first place?!!

of course, shanks doesn’t mean it to come across this way. when he asks a buggy he’s involved with to come with him, he means that he loves buggy and would miss him if they weren’t on the same ship. but you know how buggy always hears the worst possible meaning to any sentence spoken to him.

#asked and answered #my meta #jyanadavega #one piece #shuggy #shanks #buggy #sorry this took so long! i wanted to give this response as much consideration as you did your ask #and work was… so rough last week. hard to think good thoughts.#anyway you’re very right about grief playing a big role in the roguetown split #though i imagine much of that year post-disbanding was spent working through that grief in theory… the reality HAD to hit different #& in the last section i say ‘kiss’ but. feel free to substitute whatever verb you like. the essential meaning remains the same.#*the shuggy roguetown breakup #*the roger pirates disbandment #*the chop-chop fruit

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myrddin-wylt · 1 year

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If you don't mind me asking, what would Arthur's manic episodes entail?

I think I've mentioned it before, but imo the nations in general do not function mentally the same way mortals do, so I wouldn't like try to give Arthur a diagnosis or anything because the fact that he's immortal kinda means he's outside the purview of the ICD or DSM, ya know?

that being said, it depends on the severity of the episode, but generally his manic episodes do last much longer than otherwise would for mortals. his position as the nation's protector/representative means he really can drop whatever life he's living and just devote himself to a specific part of English society or whatever project he's working on. problem being, the project is sometimes like, an empire-wide thing. I mean, consider the symptoms of a 'usual' severe manic episode, except you have the resources and immortality to take far further than any mortal human could.

like he'll get the feelings of grandiosity like he's suddenly hypercompetent and unstoppable, and it combines with the nervous energy and he'll throw himself into whatever impulsive idea he's got, except the impulsive idea is like. fight an undeclared war with Spain via privateers (ie, drop everything and run off to become a pirate). or start a colony in the New World (have a baby). or unionize the barons and reform the government (help the barons force the Magna Carta on the king). or deal with the risk of Napoleon seizing the Danish fleet and using it to invade Britain (preemptively bombard Copenhagen). or solve the lumber and manpower problem (kickstart the Industrial Revolution). mind you, those are severe episodes and are relatively rare.

the milder manic episodes are much more limited to an interpersonal, mundane level rather than political and are generally.... what you'd expect? like 80% of all of his manic episodes are just him overworking or starting new writing projects because it's not like he can sleep anyway. other times he'll take an impromptu trip to another city because he wanted a specific food or a book or whatever. buy a ton of clothes because he wants to get into the whole punk subculture. refurnish the drawing room. get a new pet. go on a date with someone he hasn't seen in awhile and insist on spending way too much money on dinner. go clubbing or bar hopping and drink too much and ignore his responsibilities for a little while. start talking intensely and strangely about a topic he hasn't cared for before even if it's probably inappropriate for the setting or the listener.

usually that's it, and his immortality and position as nation means he can get away with it with far fewer consequences than most people. like if he spends too much money on shit he doesn't need, what's the worse that can happen? he'll become homeless and live on the streets? yeah, that's really just not a huge problem for an immortal. so overall he comes off as incredibly functional because he can just shrug off most consequences. doesn't mean it's healthy for him, but he can do it.

I really hope this answer made sense because I kept rewriting it and also wrote it out of order >_>

#ask #the-heaminator #myrddin's hcs #hetalia hcs #hetalia hc #hetalia headcanon #hetalia headcanons

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howtofightwrite · 2 years

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Do you know any weapons that are easy to wield one-handed or sitting down? It's for a character with a cane, she has a disability that hobbles her movement. Currently the only thing I can think of is a gun, but I kinda want to get away from them right now. Is there anything good or is a gun the only choice?

The movement restriction is a huge problem, this will even get in the way of her using a firearm.

The issue is that movement is a critical component of combat. If your weapon, literally, cannot reach your opponent, you have no way to attack them. If they can attack you, and you cannot reciprocate, you will lose. Given one of the options was a handgun, it's reasonable to assume these are fights where losing will result in her death.

Worth remembering, she may still be incredibly dangerous. To carry on a theme from the previous post, a character with serious mobility issues could still shank someone without warning. If she's planting a knife in someone's throat, or running it into the base of their skull, before they know she's hostile, their relative mobility isn't a practical advantage.

The problem with firearms is twofold.

Unless we're talking about some hypothetical future-gun, she'll eventually need to reload it, which requires both hands. It's certainly something she can do, but may require she stabilize herself first, probably by leaning against a wall, or something similarly sturdy. Ideally, something her foes couldn't get through. (This depends on exactly how her mobility affects her. If she can stand unaided, she may be able to put her cane in the crook of her arm while reloading.

If her firearms options are smooth bore musket pistols, things are going to get a lot more complicated. She won't be able to reload without solid cover, and her best option may be to carry multiple ready to fire pistols. (This was a somewhat unusual practice, but did appear in history. One of the most famous examples was the pirate captain Edward “Blackbeard” Teach, who carried six loaded pistols when going into battle. Six would be a bit extreme, though a second pistol would be quite reasonable.)

The second problem is that she has limited ability to adjust her position, and limited options for concealment. She won't be able to duck behind concealment, or run to get to safety from unexpected gunfire.

Worse, and this may not be a factor, but personal experience dealing with my own leg injuries, walking on the impaired limb is far more physically exhausting than on a healthy one. The chronic pain, quite literally, wears you out.

So, in the interests of writing what you know, when approaching a character with a physical impairment like this, it's important to remember this is someone who is needs to expend significantly more energy to cross the room, than you'd experience. This can result in someone who is perpetually worn out, but it can just as easily result in someone who hides a frighting amount of willpower, and has absolutely zero time for anyone else's shit when she's starting to run ragged. These aren't, necessarily binary states, and you have a character who could easily transition into someone borderline unrecognizable when she's had to engage in significant physical activity.

This is also a situation where you'll see severe diminishing returns depending on how much violence they engage in. If she's regularly getting into gunfights, it's likely to strain credibility, and the audience will become desensitized to her shooting (or stabbing) people, however, if she hauls off and executes (or assassinates) someone with little to no warning, that has the potential to be far more impactful. Given her injury, she'd be very likely to try to ensure that she has people around her who she can use to engage in violence for her, if this is a regular part of her work. Potentially even to the point that the audience may forget that she is personally dangerous, so that when she does haul off and shoot someone, it's (at least potentially) startling. This can fit neatly into a structure where her foe has removed her allies with the intention of taking her out while she's vulnerable, only for her to drive a purloined letter opener through their eye socket.

An approach that may work for you, when staging out this character would be to maintain a kind of inverse rule of three. You have, at most, three opportunities for your character to get violent, or cue your audience in that the character is violent, before the audience accepts that as a part of their identity. This means, you want to avoid that third incident, if possible, or accept that it will carry significantly less weight than the second time. This could be structured as an unusually graphic threat of violence (possibly by someone else) earlier in the story, a single explosive outburst of violence, and a final, less intense, instance during the climax. (In the context of the rule of three, you're explicitly skipping the second stage of confirmation your character warns someone that she's violent, but never reinforces that, she simply goes for the kill, or using violence as your reinforcement. You can also bury an establishment and reinforcement, by downplaying the severity of what she's about to do, while still maintaining a traditional rule of three structure, warning your audience that, “no, really, she's going to do something utterly horrifying,” but not giving them the tools to appreciate how hard she'll go.)

Somewhat obviously, this is your character, and you can do what you want with them, but you'd probably benefit from carefully rationing out their acts of violence to preserve the amount of weight they carry with the audience. Also, this is a character who has to pay (physically) for everything they do, they can't afford to screw around, if they're willing to kill, they'll do whatever it takes to end a fight before it starts because they can't afford to get into a war of attrition.

-Starke

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#Starke answers #writing advice #writing reference #writing tips #Starke is not a real doctor

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bahrtofane · 4 months

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quick little intro to Yusra lore !!

Not exactly 100% the apprentice lore i made some changes hehe

i love writing misery can u tell

—--

Likes to call herself a merchant of the sea (pirate)

Originally came to Vesuvia looking for Julian, old business to settle, new ones to make. She was commissioned by a nearby lord to do his bidding and needed an old friends to count on.

Never intended to stay. It was when her ship was overtaken by a flood she was grounded. It's here she meets Asra. It was Julian who introduced them. A few nights after her home was turned into nothing but splinters for her to shift through. Not much remained. A few keepsakes, a map here or there. The odd bundle of cloth and fabric. She pushes on, until she finds herself breaking just at the sight of Julian, empty sobs shaking through her while he can only hold her tight.

That ship was her home, her everything. It took nearly her whole life to get her hands on it, it was a culmination of her life's work. It wasn't big or grand, but it was hers. That's what mattered most.

Asra offers to let her stay in his shop, after much persuasion and begging at some points. Finally after a month of rotting in vesuvius streets she finally gives in.

Asra is kind to her, never prods about the ship or what brought her, even if he's curious to know. They let her say as much or as little. Instead he gives her space and lets his home turn to hers as well. She promises to repay the kindness but he only laughs, swatting her away and going on about his business.

Shes keen on learning, anything to make her useful. So she learns magic. Enough to be at least somewhat helpful to Asra. It makes her feel much better about her predicament. Gives her time to think about what to do next, keeps the hands busy. Busy hands is a busy mind.

Asra grows fond of her and her heart. He's handsome, undeniably so. Its hard not to fall for them when they're sweet, words that drip like honey from lips made of petals. Eyes that shine in every gaze. He sees her. More than she sees herself. She doesnt know if its the magic or just his own perception, his nature.

Burying into ever crevice and crack of her being till she's sure she's been memorized.

“You're beautiful” he sighs one night, out on the market for a little fun.

She blushing now, saying nothing. Instead linking hands. And he understands her all the same.

Not long after the plague erupts. And she is really stuck. With no ship, money dwindling, and the only truly familiar face off in the palace slaving away for a cure.

Her options are running out. She either stays, or risks making ground on completely foreign territory outside of the city. To take a gamble on if the next town will have the same red beetles about its walls.

Asra turns out, intends to leave, and he knows the land far better than her. But she can not leave Julian. She came here for him after all, she cant leave him, not now. So they fight, for the first time. Asra begs for her to go with him. To save herself before it truly becomes unavoidable.

“Then you alone may leave. “ she says

And so he does.

The lord severs her contract and she instead takes up in the palace. She learns all she can. There's less sleep as the days go on, as the bodies start to pile. They have no place to put them. So they are sent to be burned away from the city. On an island that holds only misery.

Julian comes to her one night, sobbing as he wipes the sweat from his face.

“There's so much death..”

It only gets worse.

As the counts’ condition worsens, things turn to chaos. So much happens in a single day and yet she doesn't remember any of it. It all blurs.

She resents Asra for leaving. How could they ? yet there's no room for anything other than work.

She notices Julians eye before even he does. But says nothing. Everyone knows they're bound to succumb from the very curse they intend to cure. Everyone is losing hope.

Who knew she would be the first to go.

#the arcana #asra alnazar #julian devorak #asra x oc #asra alzanar #the arcana headcanons #the arcana oc #the arcana original character #the arcana fanfic #bahr blurbs

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all-the-muses-archive · 9 months

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Rescue Mission

Starter for @withinkandquill

Pain. Shouting. Cold. Darkness.

“Shit.” Sanji coughed violently as he forced his eyes to open, quickly closing them again with a groan at the sharp pain the light assaulted him with. He brought his arm up to cover his eyes as the pain continued even behind his eyelids. “Damn it, what the hell?” After his head stopped stabbing him, he attempted to open his eyes again, this time with significantly more success. His confusion only grew as he took in the seemingly vacant beach around him.

Everything suddenly came back to him in an instant. They were on their way to the next island, when another pirate crew attacked them out of the blue. This one had multiple devil fruit users and while they were able to hold their own at first, they all quickly became overwhelmed. It would have been a piece of cake for them had they not spent the past few days fighting off constant attacks both day and night. Their luck hadn’t been great recently and it seemed to only be getting worse. If Sanji didn’t know better, he would think one of the others stole one of those cursed objects from the ruins of the last island Robin kept mentioning, though that was probably just to tease Ussop, Chopper, and Nami and didn’t actually have that much truth to it. Sanji smiled a little remembering Robin’s small smile at the reactions of their more sensitive members.

Sanji had used skywalk to get above the fighting and focus on one of the stronger devil fruit users; an ice user who was able to create footholds to stay above their ship and send spiked icicles down toward his crewmates below. With his own ability to summon fire and stay in the air, he was managing to at least keep the man occupied for the time being while the others fought off the ones below. As the battle continued, however, even his stamina was starting to run short, and the man didn’t seem like he was even breaking a sweat yet, though that could be a side effect of the ice powers.

His concentration was cut off when he heard a pained cry from their resident doctor and youngest. Sanji made the mistake of whipping his head away from the ice user down to the ship below, eyes widening as he took in the disaster that was the fight. Already, Nami, Ussop, and now Chopper were downed with Robin, Brook, and Franky not too far behind, swaying and panting with exertion. Zoro and Luffy weren’t doing much better than Sanji himself, they were keeping the stronger guys busy but were also visibly becoming exhausted.

He quickly focused back on his enemy, but his momentary distraction was all that the ice user needed to land a proper hit, even with observation Haki. He gasped as a rather large icicle impaled him straight through the side. He tried to regain his focus and get the fire around his leg to spread upwards, but his exhaustion mixed with the new injury made it impossible. As he tumbled into the ocean, the cries of his nakama were the last thing he registered before he hit the freezing water and blacked out.

#One Piece #Sanji #Shanks #rp #withinkandquill

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ebay-taxidermy · 2 years

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Another Get Croy Out of the FO Post

@croy-on-a-working-vacation's response to the last one tripped my angst hair-trigger with talk of “🥺,” so now I've written ANOTHER dang "get Croy out of the FO pls" analysis post

We want Croy to leave the Order for plenty of reasons, but sympathy for his situation is probably the biggest. The FO is hostile towards its own members.

The First Order, like the Empire before it, wants its personnel to be perfect soldiers in the field. And the perfect soldier to them is a dysfunctional human-- someone who obeys orders without thought or question, who methodically and callously roots out the problem, who automatically avoids and removes anything the First Order disapproves of, and so on. In the face of those expectations, Croy is stubbornly three-dimensional.

He constantly lets his own emotions and feelings get in the way of cold First Order simplicity, in a way that screams his humanity. He likes Gaya. He trusts the Captain. Some foods he tries are actually better than the ration bars they give him. He has his back turned to crimes to respectfully listen to conversations.

The actors amplify this in their performances too, leaning towards Croy being innocent and unaware of the Order's offenses, while also simultaneously experiencing it firsthand. He talks to passengers about mistreatment, belittlement, and not having friends in the FO explicitly trying to re-frame borderline workplace abuse and neglect in a better light. Ren's force choking becomes a force embrace that should be an honor to experience, Talis doesn't care what Croy has to say because he's an efficient Colonel, he's happy to have "colleagues" there when the RotR officers make it clear he's disliked, etc., etc...

In a sense I think Croy knows that every low-ranking member, including himself, is expendable, but he just doesn't think it'll ever come to that for him. It's a "the leopards won't eat my face" situation, constructed by someone who, as croy-on-a-working-vacation said, is out of touch with reality. He doesn't understand that the level of "discipline" the Order idealizes requires sacrificing parts of himself, and maybe a decade of being an overlooked desk jockey let him get away with the thought.

After all, what's wrong with pencil pusher #8922 listening to pirated recordings of Gaya's unreleased album while working??

But in the field, his actions have a far larger effect and far less room for error. Suddenly decisions like "listening to Gaya" can harm the mission by pulling away his attention. A more focused(and boring) officer would’ve taken the ship with ease. Those aspects then, the very ones that make Croy likeable and engaging to the audience, are to the Order vices to stomp out and correct.

While the mission may not have been a total failure(it's honestly unclear if Kylo handling it means Croy can declare it mostly successful, or if Kylo will decide what the outcome is officially marked as), there are still serious mistakes Croy made that Talis knows about, ones that wouldn't be too hard to trace back to his meddlesome humanity. Would they throw him back to his cubicle running numbers, unfit for investigations? Discharge him? Or worse...

The finale showed that when faced with the horrific order to blast down a room of civilians, Croy was going to go through with it. The demand to obey orders fully superseded his actual friendships with people in the crowd and the atrocity of killing innocents. The potential is there, then, for Croy to be completely molded into that perfect unfeeling officer. But given his tendency to "wander," what would the FO have to do to make that his sole being? Ren force choking him wasn't enough to make him instantly question the organization, so what else could they do to him, take away from him, force him to do, trying to prevent a Halcyon incident from ever happening with Croy again? Would Croy, still tied up in loyalties, let them?

Would he be recognizable if they succeeded?

So it's the suspense. There's a bomb under Croy's table. We the audience know about it, but Croy is blissfully unaware. The need for Croy to join the Resistance, or at least get out of the FO becomes urgent, and the lack of an answer sends us more into rabid fic writing and speculation.

...like this post lol

#galactic starcruiser

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detectivechandler · 10 months

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It's cooler here - the breeze rolls off the water, carrying with it a coolness that soothes the sweat from his brow, a welcome relief to the aching warmth of a sharply split lip, and he sits in silence, feet dangling off the edge of the dock and toes skimming the waves that lap teasingly at their tips. The noise from the tavern picks up once more, shouts of laughter and the raised voices of too much drink spill out between the tightly packed crowd of sailors to bounce along dirt and cobblestone roads until the faint echoes reach even the solace of his own temporary haven. There's a crash, a crescendo of spilled rum maybe, and Joe winces, reaching with one hand to probe at a swelling cheek that seems to throb in memory. It's odd, he thinks, how something once so familiar can become foreign in a matter of weeks. Once silence had been his friend, his ever present companion that had soothed him on sleepless nights .. now, after time spent on a ship with men who wouldn't know silence if someone beat them upside the head with it... it weighs on him, pricks underneath his skin like a thousand daggers, and the small reflections of light against the water make it seem as if the very moon is laughing.

Is this what you wanted all those nights you laid awake and staring? Have I granted your wish?

He opens his mouth as if to answer ( there are far worse things than arguing with stars), but it snaps quickly closed at the sound of approaching steps. His body curls instinctively, a frightened rabbit ready to run lest its caught by the snare, but as the person draws closer he feels the tightness in his belly unwind, muscles losing tension almost instinctually. James' shadow falls over him and Joe grins at the silhouette of it, hissing slightly at a too late remembered cut lip before craning his head slightly, meeting the other man's gaze.

"Hello." It's a quiet greeting, laced with a hesitance that he hasn't felt in the other man's presence for quite some time. The memory of his tavern disaster lies heavy between them and he frowns in response, an expression which only deepens at the realization that the dark coloring of the older man's eye is not a shadow as first expected. He thinks of that large, ham-like fist that had caught him in the jaw over a spilled tankard and winces, wondering if his pirate had met the same fate. Before he can ask such a thing fingers are tangling around his own, urging him to stand, and his body obeys instantly... unfolding from the dock to stand before the man who has become his savior in more ways than one. James looks almost ethereal, piercing eyes and long hair that catch the faint light of the moon overhead, and Joe reaches with tentative fingers to trace the swelling around one brow. He wants to ask what happened, wants to make sure that no injuries were earned because of him.. but the feel of cloth pressing against his still bleeding lip stops such words in his tracks. Weight shifts as if to pull away as a huff of breath falls between them, a sound meant to be both query and displeasure at once, but his pirate only laughs quietly as the fingers of his free hand reach between them, holding Joseph steady by a grip on his chin.

@gentlemanstarkey: ❛ you're mine, and i take care of what belongs to me. ❜

It's funny, but he's fairly certain he hears the moon ask its question once more, hears it's whispered inquiry of whether or not the younger man has been given everything he had dreamt of beneath her... and he also hears his heart as it beats the answer against the bones of his chest.

yes.

#gentlemanstarkey #v. we deserve much better than we've had #lmao this is so corny WHATEVER I DONT CAREEE #you're in a relationship with me. you have to deal with it.#i've been wanting to write this all day and the internet came back for like #2 seconds so here i am #my comfort boyssss #in character. writing.

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ourflagmeansparty · 2 years

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where the heart is [ficlet]

Prompt 2: HOME By: @commodorecliche Content Warnings: No content warnings except for tooth-rotting-fluff. Dentists, look away!!!!

Being on the lam from the British, Stede figures, isn’t all bad. Sure, there’s the constant threat of capture, torture, imprisonment, and execution, but apart from that, Stede can’t help but find the entire affair just a little bit exciting. Especially with Ed by his side. If you’re going to be on the run from the authorities, it’s best to do it with a fearsome and handsome pirate by your side.

It had taken quite a while for he and Ed to get to this point - a point of certainty and comfort in themselves and their relationship - both literally and figuratively speaking. Stede had to do some soul searching. Edward had to go on a rampage. Then Stede had to die, and Edward had to grieve. Stede had to then find Ed, which, in and of itself, was a wholly difficult task. But once he’d located The Revenge, he’d had to persuade Ed to let him aboard, then to make things right, and then to allow Ed’s anger to be righteously (and correctly) directed at him, then tended to, then resolved, until eventually Stede had proven to Ed that he wasn’t running away from him this time.

It had taken a time, yes, but all good things do. And Ed and Stede once again exist side-by-side, on the same team, after far too long apart. They’re co-captains again, only this time with decidedly more… amorous behaviors involved. Stede won’t divulge the details - he’s a gentleman, after all.

But, their own personal issues resolved, there was still the small issue of the authorities. Blackbeard was still a wanted man for his escape from the King’s service, and despite Stede’s ‘death’ and his new alias, the British authorities still had their suspicions about this new “Captain Edwards” that had suddenly begun to ferocious tail Blackbeard’s (formerly Stede’s) ship.

Reunited, and at peace with themselves and each other, they and the crew decide to go to Tahiti.

It isn’t China, like Ed had initially proposed. But it’s far enough way to put ample space between them and the British, and it offers a modicum of anonymity that the Caribbean never again would allow them. Plus, there are decent ports in and around Tahiti, places that are friendly-ish towards pirates (as friendly as pirate havens can be, of course), and Stede figures they can ride out the storm until the British eventually, hopefully, give up on finding them.

Stepping onto the dock at their first port, Stede sucks in a long gulp of the muggy Pacific air. He offers a hand to Ed as the other man steps off the ship onto the dock beside him.

“Gentlemanly, as always, Captain Edwards,” Ed jests, as he takes Stede’s hand and hops onto the dock. Stede sighs and nods; with a smile, he bumps his shoulder into Ed’s.

“Kind of reminds one of home, don’t ya think?” Stede muses. After a beat, he adds, leaning into Ed’s shoulder again, “The humidity, mostly. A touch muggy.”

Stede crinkles his nose. Ed hums and nods, but doesn’t reply.

“Granted, it’s not much worse than open ocean, of course. Though my hair might beg to differ…” Stede slides his fingers through his too-long hair, tousling it then attempting to smooth down some of the fly-aways that have begun to form in the tropical humidity. He swears, the longer his hair grows, the fluffier it becomes. He just hopes there’s a decent barber somewhere on this island. He isn’t entirely sure how Edward handles such long locks, but he commends the fellow for putting up with the length.

“Home…” Ed sighs, seemingly uninterested in Stede’s musings about the humidity and his hair.

“Hm?”

“You said ‘home’.”

“Yes?”

Some of the crew begin to disembark around them, meandering onto shore in search of provisions. Ed goes quiet as they pass, staring at anything but their faces or Stede’s. Eventually, once the others are out of earshot, Ed shrugs and clears his throat.

“Just…” He starts, then pauses, and shrugs again, “Made me think that… I dunno, guess I’ve never really had a ‘home’, that’s all.”

Stede furrows his brow, turning to meet Ed’s gaze.

“What do you mean? Surely you had a home with your mother and father in England, yes?”

Ed shrugs again - a nervous tic that Edward only seems to display when he’s pretending to be casual - and looks away from Stede.

“I mean, yeah, I lived in a house. But my dad made that place hell, so… Didn’t feel like much of a home.”

“I see…” Stede pauses, worries his lip, and turns back to face the ship. He’s about to usher Edward to do the same, but Ed is already following his motions without prompting.

Stede leans into him as they both stare up at The Revenge.

“I suppose it’s worth noting that Barbados wasn’t particularly homey, either. But I was born and raised there, so I suppose in my head it just became ‘home’.”

“Home’s not just a place you live, you know? Supposed to make ya happy, mate,” Ed grumbles, scuffing his boot into the rotting wood of the flimsy dock.

“Well,” Stede starts, voice low and pensive. A small smile cracks his lips and he slips his arm around Ed’s shoulders. He gestures towards The Revenge, “Then I suppose this is our home, isn’t it?”

Ed scoffs and shrugs, glancing away from the ship.

“S’just a ship, Stede. Homes are supposed to be…" Ed pauses and gestures vaguely with his hand, “stationary things, I think, not… floaty ones.”

“Nonsense. What’s that old saying? Home is where the heart is? Well,” Stede angles his body towards Ed’s. He keeps one arm around Ed’s shoulders, and places his other hand on Ed’s cheek, trying to urge the other man to meet his gaze, “My heart is wherever you are. So if you’re on that ship, then that ship is my home. If you’re here in Tahiti, my home is here too. If you’re imprisoned, then my home is in the cell beside you.”

Ed’s eyes yank up to meet Stede’s, his brow furrowed, but his expression soft. Stede grins - gentle and calm and full of surety.

“I think you have a home, Edward Teach. And I think it might be with me.”

The corner of Ed’s mouth twitches and quirks upward. He drops his gaze again but is unable to hide the smile that tickles his lips.

“Yeah,” Ed whispers, “I suppose it might be, eh?”

[AO3 Link]

#team black #ofmd #our flag means death #prompt 2 #submission #ahhhhhh the comfort and warmth of this is so good

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justpan · 3 years

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Title: Unwilling Bride

Summary: Every thing is in shambles after the death of Rufio, can Pan come up with plan to fix his largest mess?

Pairing: Peter x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32

A/N: OK this will be the second to last chapter of this series so and I will have that last chapter up in no later than two weeks.

Time in Neverland was always irrelevant when you were with the guys at camp but it was even less noticeable now.

Now that you were alone.

You had left and hadn’t looked back once, you never would. If you looked back your stone heart would break all over again.

All you would be able to think about would be Rufio; how he had died fighting for Pan, and how in return he would receive no justice.

Still it angered you to no end that Pan was so self centered that he would let one of his own die in order to see his own plans succeed. It made you see him completely differently than you had before.

Before he was ambitious and driven now he was practically a dictator in your eyes.

Now, after an unknown amount of time you had found your own home, a clearing in the Forgotten Forest. It was far from the campgrounds and close to the mermaid lagoon, but you never needed to go there.

You had conjured up a small little cabin for yourself, on the outside it was identical to the one from your favorite Goldilocks and the Three Bears children's book when you were younger.

Inside it was much more modern, a den, a kitchen, a small bedroom, a bathroom of course, a gym and a separate room for crafting.

Now that you would no longer be training you had a lot more time to yourself for...anything that came to mind.

You could make jewelry, or lift weights, maybe try a few new magic tricks.

Most of your magic went into keeping the cabin functional; electricity, running water and heating. Of course there were smaller things like conjuring up groceries; something you couldn’t do too often at the camp. The whole point of hunting was for everyone to pull their weight and keep their reflexes sharp, that was no longer necessary.

Usually you would watch old TV shows you had remembered having on DVD on the Flatscreen you made for yourself or read books.

You never watched the Sword in the Stone, but you kept the disk.

Whenever you picked it up you would think about how things could have been if they were different. If you hadn’t suggested such a large attack, or if you pulled Rufio back when you saw him approach.

Miles away, back at camp Pan was almost always thinking the same thing.

He knew that everything in Neverland had changed the second he let Hook and his Pirates go; everything.

The Lost Boys looked at him differently, even Felix.

Magic was becoming even weaker than before, when he used magic to travel it was never more than a mile and the smoke didn’t even come up anymore.

Even worse was now that the pirates would no longer be bringing food the boys needed to hunt for a primary portion of their food; and the island was just enough to keep them fed.

The island was dying, most of the plants had gone barren and the wild life was barely surviving enough to be hunted.

Pan sighed and looked down at the roots of his thinking tree. He had been here almost daily since that tragic battle.

Of course though, all that was nothing compared to not having her here.

(Y/N).

Peter had never felt bad about anything he’d done in his life.

Not abandoning his son for eternal youth, or killing the original inhabitants of this island. He knew he had done awful things in order to reach his own goals, but he didn’t want to hurt her.

He loved her, the pure love he shouldn’t be able to feel after the things he’d done.

With all his heart regretted not avenging Rufio, of course she probably would still be angry and upset, but at least she’d have been here.

Where he could see her and apologize, or the boys could offer her comfort.

If he had the power to he would be able to locate her through the island, but he was weakening more and more by the day and even when he had the magic she was too pure for his dark magic to search out.

Looking for her now would only leave him exhausted and wouldn’t give him any other results, plus what would he say to her now.

Everything was a mess now and it felt like there was nothing he could do to fix any of it.

He had Wendy caged up but that didn’t do much to appease his boys. They wanted her dead, or at least tortured, but he needed to keep her brothers on his hook and that meant he had to keep her safe.

Right now it was all he could do to keep control over his camp, he was ruling more with fear than actual respect.

‘Pan.’

He looked up at Felix who was walking toward him, of course he was still the most loyal Lost Boy but he rarely looked Peter in the eye anymore.

After burying Rufio Felix had all but stopped all friendly contact with him, and deep in his already heart he ached at that loss. The camp felt lonelier than ever before without his friend’s companionship.

‘Yes Felix.’

‘We found a boar big enough to feed the camp and a few birds. It will last us a week if we ration well.’

Pan looked away, mentally going over how the boys would respond to rationing. It would be the final bit of proof they needed to convince them that the island was failing.

Peter Pan was failing.

‘No rations. It will be uncomfortable but they won’t starve. There will be more food Felix, don’t say anything about rations to anyone.’

‘Of course, I always keep your secrets...it feels like you are having more and more as the years go by.’ Felix said before walking away.

Peter sighed and walked away, nothing was working and he needed more time.

Just a bit more, the truest believer was born and already out there somewhere. Those Darlings had missed the chance to grab him when he was first born, so he had to use a second plan and this one would be messier but he didn’t care.

He needed the boy, needed the heart.

Once he had that he could live forever, and maybe forever would be enough time to win (Y/N) back.

He knew he only needed to wait a few more years, and here years passed by like a breeze, but he was cutting it close.

His hourglass was falling too fast for trial and error this time, it had to work or it was over.

The island would go completely barren of both magic and necessity, the Lost Boys would starve to death and he’d probably end up being a pile of dust.

Peter didn’t feel like staying at his thinking tree, too many of the Lost Boys knew where it was and wouldn’t hesitate to come and ask him questions; and as of late questions annoyed him awfully.

It had been centuries since he had just walked around alone like this, he felt the urge to look at his island. Peter felt a lot of urges these days, and so few of them he could actually do anything about.

Even his walk was lackluster, he could really see the island's poor health. Trees were dying and he had seen a few dead birds that the bugs had already claimed for themselves.

Sadly he looked back on the time when he truly had been a child, before he grew up and became a father. The island was so stunning in his dreams, he would wake up in tears knowing he had to go all day being away from it.

Now he couldn’t imagine a lost boy being brought here and wanting to stay for ten minutes yet alone for the rest of eternity. Of course he had put an end to the shadow bringing boys from other worlds after Rufio.

With things how they were he didn’t need anymore boys against him.

Onward he walked, paying no real mind to where he was going, it didn’t matter he knew every inch of this island and could find his way back to camp whenever he felt like returning.

But the island had gone through changes.

There was a cabin.

A cabin he had never seen before, one he hadn’t conjured or ever seen before, and there was only one person other than him on the island that could have done this.

‘(Y/N).’ he breathed.

This is where she had made her home.

He took a quick look at his surroundings, he was nearly a hundred miles or so away from the camp. Almost on the complete opposite side of the island, but still far enough away from the mermaid lagoon.

For a completely unhealthy time he just stood there staring at the cabin, secretly hoping that he would see the outline of the girl he loved.

The girl that hated him now and wanted dead.

Perhaps it was good that he saw no movement from the one window he could see from where he was standing.

Almost instinctively he sat down behind a tree with his back facing the cabin, he closed his eyes and thought of her.

In his imagination he could see her in the window, he can picture her doing a million things like simply walking past. He liked the wilder images he made up more though; the ones where she is sharpening weapons or practicing her summoning magic the way she used to in her spare time.

“I will put you in the fucking ground.”

Those had been some of the last words she had said to him back then, and he didn’t need any magic to know she meant it. That was the thing about good people most of the time, they tend to mean what they say.

He sighed and closed his eyes, thinking back to when he first constructed his plan to find his true love to buy himself more time for all his real game pieces to get to where he needed them. The plan had worked at first, he had performed the spell to find his soulmate and he took her just as he had taken so many boys before.

The shadow followed his instructions to be gentle in taking her from her world so carefully that she had still been asleep when she arrived.

Peter had only an undefined picture of her after the spell was done, but seeing her for the first time was a sight that rivaled his first views of Neverland.

Beautiful she was, and amazing she proved to be.

He had expected his perfect soulmate would be submissive to him; as the Wendy girl had been. Of course he now knows how wrong he was, he loved the brave and brass nature he found in (Y/N).

Even when she hated him and wanted him dead; Peter loved her still.

More than anything he wanted to be able to speak to her again, to apologize.

And it was the one thing he couldn’t do now.

Maybe if he had his full magic and he could withstand her initial attack, but he was too weak now.

Then, as if struck by lightning, he remembered something so important that he shot up from his seat and began running back to the camp.

He didn’t need to look back to verify the location of the cabin; he knew his island better than he knew anything else.

As he ran the plan in his mind started to transform from a vague foggy mental image to an elaborate painting as every plan did.

He found in this plan he didn’t need to waste his already limited magic and, despite how much he wished that wasn’t the case, he was glad of this fact.

Luckily he didn’t have to make it all the way to the camp because the person he needed to see was apparently guarding Wendy’s cage.

The cage he had placed on the outskirts of the camp to keep her far enough away from the boys’ sight and still close enough for himself to keep an eye on her.

‘Felix.’ Peter said while he came to a stop, taking a second to catch his breath as he realized how long it had been since he had actually ran outright like he just had.

‘What do you need Pan?’ Felix replied looking at him with the empty eyes of a mindless soldier as opposed to a willing friend.

‘I found her and I have a job for you; we are going to play one last game with my Lost Girl.’

#Unwilling bride series #peter pan #ouat imagine #peter pan ouat #peter pan imagine #felix ouat #the lost boys #peter pan x reader

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nastybuckybarnes · 3 years

Text

Hoist The Colours - 3/3

Pairing: Pirate!Bucky X SeaGoddess!Reader

Summary: An encounter with the man you used to love lands you and your new crew in peril, stuck on a ship with the people responsible for binding you. And what they have planned for you is far worse than what you’d first imagined.

Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff, Violence, Injuries, Death,

Word Count: 2.2K

A/n: Oof another thing is finished. I’m gonna start actually finishing stuff but Idk what to write I’m sad that my stuff is ending :( But I hope you enjoy this!

~*~

The door to your cell gets wrenched open, pulling you from your light sleep.

“You!” Rumlow snarls, grabbing you by the throat and lifting you to your feet.

“Where have they taken my prisoners?” You furrow your brows, yanking out of his grip.

“How am I supposed to know? I was left behind.” He grinds his teeth together and grabs your bicep, dragging you out of your cell and onto the main deck.

The clouds are dark and gloomy, the waters wild and violent, but not by your doing.

“You must’ve helped them, that other witch too! So tell me, how did you do it?” He shoves you and you gasp, tumbling onto the wet wood of the deck.

“How could I have helped them? You have me chained up like a dog!” You spit, glaring up at him. He stoops down to your level, grabbing your face harshly.

“You will watch your tongue or you will lose it. You do not need your voice to do my bidding.” He shoves you back down and you bite back a yelp of pain.

The sky darkens further, thunder booming and clouds rolling in.

“I will never do your bidding!” You snarl, a flash of lightning punctuating your words.

Rumlow’s eyes widen for a moment, and then he’s got his sword pointed at you, the tip just brushing your throat.

“On your feet, witch!” You obey, standing up with your chin held high.

“You will do my bidding, or you will join all those who you have sent to the depths. It is your choice.” You follow his gaze over your shoulder to where the plank is being extended over the raging ocean.

You look back at him, jaw set, and he knows you’ve made your decision.

The wind whips around your hair as he walks you to the plank, his sword digging into your back just hard enough to cause discomfort, but not pain, not yet.

You carefully step onto the plank, taking deep breaths of the salty air as the water rages beneath you.

“I will give you one last chance, wench. I will spare your life, all you need do is swear your powers to me. You’ll have the sea back in your grasp, the power to do what you please. You need only do so at my side.”

Raindrops splatter against your face, just gently at first, until you’re consumed in an intense storm, the water pelting down against you.

“You’ve forgotten, Captain, that you are not sending me to the depths,” you look over your shoulder at him with a small smile, “you are sending me home.”

You look down at the water, preparing yourself for the cool embrace, when a particularly harsh wave rocks against the ship, sending you stumbling back a step.

A wave rises up over the ship, a spiral of green swirling inside of it and for a moment you think that you’ve already died.

The wave crashes against the ship, sending the men falling and scrambling, submerging the deck for a moment.

But you stay rooted in place, the familiar green hue just touching your fingertips, the ends of your hair, then slowly becoming part of you once more.

You hear the men shouting and coughing, feel Rumlow’s sword pressed against your back once again, but you only turn around to face him.

The storm continues, the waves fighting the ship, and you cock your head to the side, sending a gust of wind towards the man threatening you. He stumbles back, eyes wide with fear.

“H-how do you...” You take slow steps towards him, waving your hand behind you as his crew-mates try to run at you. The wind pushes them back, keeping them a safe distance from you and the captain.

“You will give me answers and you will give them to me now!” You hiss, glaring daggers at him.

“Whatever it is that you wish to know, I will tell you. Just please, spare my life.”

You watch him for a long moment, fighting tears as the question bubbles out of you.

“Why? Why did he do it?”

Rumlow only shakes his head, on his knees and ready to beg for mercy.

“’twas me... I caused him to do it. With the help of a siren for the price of his left arm, I got the binding spell from him. He knew not what he was doing, though he gave the information.” You let out a shaky breath, a weight lifted off of your shoulders.

“All this time I had thought it was he who betrayed me... but it wasn’t.” You turn your gaze to him, eyes glowing green with the influx of power.

“It was you. You and your greed.” He shakes his head and scrambles back desperately.

You step aside as a sword comes down right where you were standing, and Rumlow uses your momentary distraction to sprint away.

“Kill her! Kill the Witch!” He shouts, grabbing his own sword.

You shake your head, the wind whipping strong enough to keep them away.

A nagging in your mind stops you for a moment, and a smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

“The King and his men stole the queen from her bed... and bound her in her bones.” Your voice travels on the wind.

“The seas be ours, and by the powers, where we will, we’ll roam.”

“Captain! We’ve got a ship coming up starboard!” A man shouts, pointing his sword at the familiar ship.

“They’re upon us! Battle stations!” The men scramble to their stations, trying to get prepared as the ship approaches.

“Yo ho, all hands, hoist the colours high. Heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die.” The voices ring out to you clear as day, responding to the call.

It’s only a matter of moments before canons start firing and men start boarding the ship, swords clashing and guns firing.

Your eyes scan the crowd, freezing on a man approaching you. You simply look at him and he crumples to the ground, grabbing at his throat.

“Rumlow!” You shout, following your instincts up to the foredeck and finding the captain cowering, exactly how you thought he would.

“You want to throw me overboard, captain?” You sneer his title, taking another step towards him. He stumbles back, slipping on the wet wood and scrambling away from you and towards the main deck.

“You forget that I am the sea and all things in it.”

The rain pelts down on you and the wind whips your hair around your face wildly, your eyes glowing green with the force of your power.

At that moment, you look every bit the sea goddess that the stories described. And today, you’re planning on being just as cruel.

“You stripped me of my purpose, my power. Bound me to my form and took away my reason for existence! You sacrificed the man I love for your own greedy gain. What do you have to say for yourself?” Your powers protect you from the fighting around you, the man before you protected as well.

No one will take your vengeance from you.

“I’m sorry!” He cries, slipping back further.

You shake your head and grab him by the front of his tunic, tossing his sword aside and glaring into his eyes.

“No, you’re not. Not yet. But you will be, that I promise you.”

You cock your head to the side, your free hand coming up, fingers flexed.

The water on the deck swirls around your ankles, clawing up the man before you.

“You’ve never had your purpose taken from you because a man like you has no purpose.” You twist your wrist, controlling the water around you and watch in satisfaction as his eyes widen, the water rising up over his face.

“So what else can I take, but your life?” You ask rhetorically, watching as the water trickles into his mouth and nose, slowly at first, then picking up speed.

He tries to claw at you, but his hands can’t reach you. His struggles are futile, though that doesn’t stop him.

You steal the life away from him, exactly the way he did to you.

He collapses on the ground, his body convulsing for a moment before falling still, death embracing him.

You take a deep breath, embracing your freedom, then slowly turn around.

You’re instantly meet with piercing blue eyes staring at you from across the ship. His chest is heaving and he’s squinting through the downpour, but his eyes are on you.

You walk over to him, the rain lessening with each step you take until you’re right in front of him.

The wind dies down and the ocean becomes calm. The fighting around you draws to a sombre end, victory on the tip of your tongue.

His sword clatters to the ground, his hands finding yours ever so gently, his eyes filled with so many emotions.

“Gentlemen, the ship is ours!” Steve shouts, a smile on his face. You turn around, pulling Bucky’s arms around your waist as you watch the crew celebrate their success.

Your eyes find Wanda’s and Tony’s through the crowd, both of them smiling brightly up at you.

The two crews celebrate, Pirates and Kingsmen, and you can’t help but smile at them.

“Back to the ship! We’ve gotten what we came for. The King can enjoy plundering Rumlow’s ship. I trust that will keep him off of our back for a while, yes?” Steve looks at Tony pointedly and the brunet nods.

You step out of your lover’s arms and walk down to the two men, one hand gently finding Tony’s forearm.

“I owe you a debt, Tony. One I fear I may never be able to repay.” He shakes his head, taking your hands gently in his and smiling at you.

“You’ve no debt to be paid. But if you feel so inclined, could you maybe hold back any storms for the next day or so? I’d like a chance to dry my clothes.” You giggle and nod, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you, for all that you’ve done for myself and Wanda.” He gives you a tender smile and nods.

“It’s what I wish had been done for my mother.” He sniffles then straightens up.

“Now come on, men. It’s time we return to the King!” His crew-mates start busying themselves quickly.

“Alright lads, back to the ship!” Steve calls, leading his own crew members to their ship.

You watch as everyone eagerly crosses, smiling encouragingly at Wanda. She crosses swiftly, her eyes drawing to the helmsman for a moment.

“Are you ready?” A soft voice asks from behind you. You take a breath then nod, looking over at him.

“Yes.”

The two of you cross back to his ship, the ship almost cooing at you as soon as your feet hit the deck. You can’t fight the smile the spreads on your face at being back, and you don’t try to.

“It’s good to have you back,” Steve says, giving you a nod. You do the same, sighing happily.

“It’s good to be back, Steve.” Bucky takes your hand then and tugs you gently towards his quarters.

The door closes softly behind you and you take a moment to reacquaint yourself with the room.

You can feel his eyes on you, the tension palpable but not unpleasant.

Without looking at him, you speak.

“Could you help me out of my gown? It’s far too heavy.” He walks towards you, untying the back and watching as the fabric slides down your body, leaving you only in your white slip.

His hands hesitantly trail over your skin, one cold and one hot and the contrast is so delicious.

You close your eyes and lean into his touch, head falling to the side as he presses soft kisses to your neck.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, my love,” he whispers against your skin, spinning you around to face him.

You gaze up at him lovingly, one hand coming up to cup his jaw.

“Show me,” you whisper, leaning up to gently brush your lips over his.

“Show me how much you missed me. Give me a reason to clear the skies and calm the seas. Make me give us good wind and easy sail. Prove to me that you’re still worthy of my mercy.”

He brings your hand to his mouth, kissing each one of your fingers then smiling.

“I’ll never truly be worthy of your mercy. But I am more than willing to both swear and prove my loyalty to you. I will give myself over to you; body, heart, mind, and soul.”

You look up at him tenderly, cupping his cheek gently.

“I will sail to the ends of the Earth for you, fight the gods if I need to. Anything to keep you in my arms.”

“My heart belongs to you, James. And never will it belong to anyone else.”

#pirate #pirate AU #pirate!bucky #pirate!bucky x reader #Pirate!bucky x sea goddess!reader #bucky x sea!goddess!reader #pirate!bucky x goddess!reader #bucky x goddess!reader #pirate!bucky x seagoddess!reader

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ithinkilikeit-reactions · 3 years

Text

Siren Song (Song Mingi)

Ateez Masterlist Group Masterlist

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINGI!!!!! I hope he has an amazing day

I wrote this being incredibly inspired and I quite like how it turned out so please let me know what you think

Tags: Pirate au! Mingi x Fem siren! Reader, death, nudity, alcohol

Smut tags: Quite soft, explorative, Mingi is curious, oral (reader receiving), passionate sex, body worship, a lot of kissing, cumming inside

Word count: 6177

Sirens, they were a beautiful myth. A story that sailors told to convince themselves they weren’t going mad at sea. A legend... if that’s what you believed in.

But they weren’t a legend, they were very real. Some pirates and sailors would tell you that, tell you their stories. That they had heard their beautiful songs at sea and were almost lured in. Although not many, if any believed them. Being a pirate or at sea for a long period of time makes a man lose his credibility. However sirens, were very very real.

Mingi was new to the boat, a fresh faced, wide eyed, young man who was ready to see the world. Becoming a pirate wasn’t something he had planned, it’s not something anyone truly plans. But society had failed him, because of his status. Being accused of something he didn’t do and found guilty, he didn’t have a choice but to run. Mingi feared nothing more than death, if he was caught he’d surely be hanged.

No, becoming a pirate was never what he had planned. After running, he stowed away on a goods ship and somehow found himself in a pirate hotspot. Surrounded by pillagers, murderers and some things even possibly worse, he was terrified. Until a cheery man approached him named Kim Hongjoong, had a proposition for him, an offer to get Mingi out of there and give him a family. A man in his position could hardly say no.

Now he was here, staring over the rails of the ship as they sailed slowly over misty water. He hadn’t been on waters like this in his entire life. They were filled with mystery, so much so it gave Mingi the feeling of fear in the pit of his stomach.

“Carefull, lean over too far and you might fall in.” Yunho joked as he placed some crates on the deck. “I could’ve sworn I saw-” “You saw something in the water? Not uncommon in these parts.” Yunho told the younger, watching his expression shift. Mingi was a bit paranoid, you had to be when you’re life took a turn the way his did.

“It’s common here?” Mingi asked, feeling a wave of security flow over him. He was just relieved to know he wasn’t the only one seeing things. “Very common. Don’t scare him Yunho, you were just as scared as him the first time you came here.” Captain Hongjoong’s voice startled the both of them, making them whip their heads around. “Sorry captain, I couldn’t help myself.” Yunho apologized and the captain shook his head with a smile. “Go bring those crates down to storage, Yeosang is waiting on them.” Yunho wasn’t one to disobey orders, so he grabbed them and left.

“Don’t let them make you crazy. Or this part of the sea. I’ve known plenty of men who’ve gone crazy in these parts. I like you Mingi, don’t let yourself become one of them.” Hongjoong placed his hand on the younger’s back and watched as he smiled at him. “I won’t, Captain.” Mingi laughed slightly, feeling more at ease by the second. Hongjoong smiled at him in return before going to walk away, only to turn back at the last moment. “If you hear the sweet song of a woman, ignore it.”

All that ease Mingi felt suddenly disappeared at those words, because well he didn’t quite understand what he meant. Siren’s weren’t common knowledge or a local myth in the town he grew up in.

Scared, the man backed away from the railing and carried on with his tasks. Ignoring any sound that came from anywhere other than the ship. He was so immensly paranoid now , but there was also something in the back of his mind that his crew mates were just messing with him.

That evening, he found himself drinking with Wooyoung and San, admittedly his first mistake. He didn’t know how it was possible but with those two, he found himself drinking way more than he normally would. At least he was a happy drunk, cheery as ever this way and almost forgetting the reason he was there in the first place. The crew felt like real friends however, similar to one’s he had before running away so he didn’t quite have the right to complain.

Mingi placed his bottle down on the deck and swayed over to the side of the boat. He felt like he was going to be sick, not that Wooyoung and San would’ve noticed. No they had long fallen asleep like the rest of the crew

Leaning over the deck, he looked at the black water. It was terrifying to him because of how deep it was. He couldn’t see anything, just a sea of black surrounding him. If he wasn’t nauseous before, he most definitely was now.

When he looked back at the water, he wasn’t expecting to see eyes looking back at him. Let alone warm eyes, full of life, blinking at him from the water. It was a woman seemingly bobbing along and just watching him. He could only see her face and he wasn’t even sure he was actually seeing it.

“It’s the alcohol.” He mumbled to himself, blinking and rubbing his eyes. But she didn’t disappear from sight. As a matter of fact, it seemed like she had swam closer. “Are you a pirate?” Her voice was smooth, warm in contrast to the brisk air and it made her all the more real. Mingi was frozen, just staring back at her with wide eyes and taking in the details.

It seemed like she was surrounded by light, it reflected off of her damp skin as she raised her head and body more. Now exposing her bare shoulders, he realised she wasn’t wearing any clothing and averted his eyes, but only for a moment. He had caught something out of the corner of his eye, something silver that reflected the moon light.

It was a shiny, silver tail that practically glowed. The closer he looked, the more he noticed that it was attached to her and well the more his fear rose. Though he wasn’t sure what the fear stemmed from, if it was not knowing what this creature was, or that he thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you?” He asked, staring at her with an intrigued expression. Mingi couldn’t help but get goosebumps as she laughed, throwing her head back and expelling the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. “That’s not a very kind question... though in hind sight I asked you the same thing.” She said, lifting her hands to move her long wet hair from her face. This left her body even more exposed to him, as she bobbed along the water. Though she didn’t seem fazed by it one bit.

“How about this, you answer my question and I’ll answer yours?” She rebutted and Mingi stood with his mouth agape. “Alright.” He barely choked out and watched as she disappeared under the water, only to appear closer to the ship again. Now that she was closer, he could see her face better and he felt himself get nervous. She was beautiful, an ethereal being.

“Are you a pirate?” She asked again, a curious smile on her face as she looked up at him. “I am.” Mingi responded, watching as she clapped her hands in joy. “Oh I do so much like pirates. So much more interesting than fishermen.” Her eyes sparkled as she spoke and Mingi was lost, as if she had cast spell. “Their stories are so much more interesting.” She added on before locking eyes with him once more.

“Your turn.” She smiled at him and Mingi dried his hands on his pants, the situation had caused a cold sweat to form. “What are you?” His question was simple, yet still made the woman laugh again. “Surely a pirate knows a siren when he sees one, though if that was the case you probably would’ve tried to kill me.” She rambled as her tail splashed the dark water lightly. “A siren?” Mingi asked, not quite having heard the word before. “A siren... surely you’ve heard of them. You must be quite new to sea.” She said softly, the young pirate intrigued her.

“Tell me your name, handsome pirate.” She asked softly and Mingi felt himself doubt whether he should tell her. She somehow managed to see right through him, however she called him handsome and that made a feeling bubble in the pit of his stomach. “Mingi.” He said it softly, merely a whisper, one he didn’t think she could hear. “Mingi.” She repeated much to his surprise. “Mingi... I like the way that feels to say.” She added on and he leaned down a bit more, trying to get closer to her.

“Mingi, make sure to ask your crew about sirens.” She giggled before disappearing underwater, only to appear further away. Mingi’s heart sank, not wanting her to go, not yet. “Wait! Wait! At least tell me your name!” He called out to her, watching as she halted once more. She turned to look at him and with small laugh, she told him. “Y/N, my name is Y/N.”

Mingi couldn’t find sleep, not at all after that. There was question in his mind whether all that he saw that night really happened. He had drank a lot and he had been at sea longer than ever before. It must’ve been a dream, a vision even. You were a dream, a vision.

“Did you drink that much last night?” Captain Hongjoong asked, staring at his younger crew mate. He was gazing off into the distance, eyes small due to lack of sleep and hands restless. “No, I just couldn’t sleep.” Mingi admitted, not quite wanting to ask anyone about what he had seen. But if anyone would tell him seriously, it would be the captain.

“What’s bothering you?” The man could tell when something was bothering his crew and it was incredibly obvious that something was bothering him. “It’s just something San and Wooyoung said yesterday...” “I told you not to listen to their stories.” The captain laughed and Mingi shook his head. “No, I just- what are sirens?” Mingi choked out the question, the thing that had been on his mind all night. Hongjoong wasn’t expecting the question to lead here, he thought the man knew.

“You don’t know? I thought you did when I made my comments yesterday.” He watched as the younger shook his head. “Well, many think they’re legend. I suppose I understand why, the brain refuses to believe what it can’t see. But they are very much real.” He paused and Mingi was starting to become scared. Maybe it was his captain’s tone of voice, or maybe it was the validation that you weren’t a figment of his imagination.

“They’re beautiful beings, more beautiful than any of the other evil things put on this earth. Top half of a beautiful woman and the bottom half a tail. Not to mention their voices, they lure sailor men in with their song and beauty. Only to drag them to bottom of the ocean and drown them. Most sailors fall for it, they just want a kiss from the beautiful thing so that when they go back home they have a story to tell. Fools, can’t blame the creatures for doing it.” Mingi was mortified at his captain’s words. To think he found you to be the most beautiful thing in the world. The prettiest things were the deadliest, that was what Mingi was starting to learn.

Mingi took the words as warning, if you appeared again he wasn’t going to give you the time of day. At least that’s what he told himself. Despite the tale, he wanted to see you again. So badly, he found himself dreaming about you. His eyes deceived him as stared out at the sea, he could have sworn he saw the sunlight reflect off of your silver tail.

But he had to push the to the side, there was an island incomming. It was nothing more than a small island, no living thing in sight. Nothing but beaches and trees, good enough to hunt and good enough to make sure the men didn’t go crazy on board. Which meant everyone around was scrambling around and preparing to drop the anchor.

His eyes were glued on the water as they rowed to shore. Mingi was entirely sure he would never see you again, they had travelled quite far in the last 2 days and well it’s not like you had a reason to stick around. He was sure of it, but he didn’t want to be right.

The plan was to stay on the island over night, sleep in the tree line and then go back in the morning once they had gathered enough and hunted enough. Simple enough.

Well, night rolled around quickly and the crew was sound asleep. Everyone except Mingi, no he had hardly slept a wink since you visited him. He simply laid in his hammock and counted the stars through the tree tops. That was until he heard a song. An absolutely heavenly voice coming from the shore.

Mingi knew he shouldn’t have gotten up, he knew it. But there was a chance that it was you and he just couldn’t help himself. He wanted to see you again, despite what his captain had told him.

The sand crunched beneath his boots as he slowly walked over to the shore line, scanning the beach and looking for the source of the voice. Looking over, he could see a group of rocks and on top of the largest one, he spotted it. That familiar glow of your tail in the moonlight and the way you looked up at the sky and sang.

Waling slowly, he listened to your song and your beautiful voice as you stared at the night sky. The closer he got, the more he found his chest aching. He couldn’t tell if it was with fear or desire and that line got more blurred the closer he got.

“Mingi!” Your voice was cheery when you noticed him approaching you and it was accompanied with an enthousiastic wave. “Surely Y/N isn’t as malicious as Hongjoong told me.” He thought to himself as he stood in front of the rock. You were as beautiful as ever, sitting in front of him.

“I was hoping you’d be the one to come and find me.” She teased, a soft smirk on her lips as Mingi tried not to gawk at you. “You’re even more handsome up close.” She added on and he felt himself get nervous. “You told me to ask my crew what a siren was. I did.” Mingi told you, playing with his hands so he had something else to look at. “Hmm and what did they tell you?” You were staring at him, truly wanting him to look at you again.

When Mingi finally brought his eyes back to you, he noticed that your tale was gone, now showing a pair of legs and a very, very bare body. “How?-” He stuttered and you laughed, loving the surprise on his face. “They apparently didn’t tell you everything. if we’re dry and on land, we have legs.” You explained, watching as his eyes trailed over your body.

“Are you going to kill me?” Mingi asked, finding it better to be straightforward from this point on. It’s better to have feigned confidence than nothing at all. “No. You fascinate me. I don’t kill the things that fascinate me.” You were so blunt about it, raking your hands through your hair. “Come here, pirate and tell me your story. It’s not every day a pirate doesn’t know the legend of a siren. Whether they believe it or not.” Mingi was caught off guard, not sure what to do. The sea was far enough away, which comforted him because he knew you couldn’t drown him on this rock.

He moved to sit across from you on the rock and tried to avoid staring at your bare body, averting his eyes before shrugging off his vest and handing it to you. “I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time concentrating.” Mingi stuttered, you smiled at him though and an odd feeling shot through your chest. “Most sailors would simply enjoy.” You said and slipped the clothing over your shoulders. Mingi shook his head, a small smile now forming over his own lips. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy it.” He clarified and looked at you wearing his clothes. You were beautiful.

“You’re a different type of man, Mingi.” Why his name sounded so good coming from your lips, he had no idea. But it was absolutely addicting.

“How did you end up out here?” You asked, stretching your legs and leaning back. You loved a good story, where as your sisters didn’t quite like talking but preferred a siren’s typical methods.

“This wasn’t how my life was supposed to be, I wasn’t supposed to end up here.” Mingi had te delve deep for a moment. Sure some of the crew knew his story, but it wasn’t something he told just anyone.

“I lived in a town that was quite progressive, I worked under and iron smith as an apprentice. I did good, I was a good man and i just tried to make it by like anyone else.” You watched as he spoke, taking in his details and tone. He was sad. “I never tried to hurt anyone and if I did it wasn’t on deliberate. But my master, he wasn’t good. He actively tried hurting people, especially ones he hated and he didn’t hate anyone more than his own daughter. I never understood why, she was pretty, kind and well liked among the town but he hated her.” Mingi had to pause, remembering that time, remembering the sweet girl that was always so nice to him when he worked.

“I came into the shop one day and found her, dead on the ground, strangled. Her father did it and pinned it on me. Claiming that I ‘always watched her when she was around’ and that I was ‘just wait for a chance to be alone with her’. I-” Mingi was cut off when a tear dropped from his eyes. You had placed your hand on his chin, wiping it away with your thumb. “You never touched her.” You said softly, scanning his face. “I never did, They were going to hang me for something I didn’t do. I had to run.” You continued to wipe the tears from his face, moving onto your knees to get closer to him.

“And that’s how you ended up here.” You had heard many sad stories in your life, but none of the men had seemed nearly as regretful as Mingi did in this moment. Your hand moved from his chin to his cheek, taking in his handsome features. Even when he was upset, he was handsome. Sharp jawline coupled with a sharp nose and pillowy lips. Definitely one of the more handsome men at sea.

“You know in your heart that you didn’t do it.” You said softly, moving your fingers to thread through his hair. Mingi found himself staring at your face, taking note of your sympathetic face. Surely you weren’t the murderous creature he was told you were.

“My sisters aren’t fond of men, they kill them for sport. But I like hearing the stories, it takes a lot to drive a man out to sea.” You explained and gently pulled his face closer to yours. Mingi felt himself sink into your touch, allowing you to guide him into laying down with his face settled in the crook of your neck. Your skin was soft under his touch and his hands found your waist to hold onto as he relaxed. Your nails scraped over his scalp lightly, making him hum.

“You have a pure soul.” You said softly, enjoying his touch. Mingi didn’t know what had gotten into him, he had went from being scared of you to being held by you and well he was enjoying it. Your touch was comforting.

Your legs tangled with his, fingers still running through his hair. “Go to sleep Mingi. Dawn is almost upon us.” You whispered, kissing his forehead and allowing him to lul to sleep. Mingi had let his guard down fully for you and as ridiculous as it sounded, he was falling in love.

The hours in your arms, were the best hours he had ever slept. Being in such a deep dream that he didn’t think even an earthquake could wake him. He dreamt that he was underwater and absolutely weightless. Just floating under the surface of chrystal clear water. You were swimming circles around him, silver tail catching the rays of light from the sun as you did so. He felt as if he was one with the ocean.

It wasn’t until the feeling of something pushing him (quite roughly) woke him up and brought him back to reality. “Jesus Christ Mingi, we thought you’d be killed by something. What are you doing all the way out here?” Wooyoung’s voice was shrill as he yelled to wake Mingi up. “Huh?” He shot up from his position on the rock, looking around frantically for you. But you were nowhere to be found and well, neither was his vest.

“What are you doing out here?” Wooyoung asked again and Mingi shook his head, needing to come up with a response and fast. “I uhh couldn’t sleep last night, went for a walk and then sat down here. Guess I fell asleep.” He cleared his throat and blinked at his friend. “You’ve been acting strange Mingi. Are you alright?” He asked, voice full of concern. Mingi never acted this odd, Wooyoung was worried.

“I’m fine, just haven’t been sleeping properly.” He admitted and ran his fingers through his hair. Your touch was still lingering on his skin, he could feel you everywhere.

“Captain wants to stay here one more night, founds some caves and a lake he wants to check out.” Wooyoung explained and Mingi nodded. “Alright, I’ll be around in a bit.” Mingi said softly, needing a moment to process some things. Where had you gone?

He had managed to pull himself together, rejoining the crew in exploring the island. Traipsing through the trees, he looked around the area and took it in. One thing he could admit was that he never would have seen half of the beautiful things he had if he had stayed in his village, you included. He couldn’t take that for granted, especially not as he was standing in front of a small waterfall that fell into a small crystal clear lake.

“Wow.” He said quietly, feeling Hongjoong clap his hand onto his back. “Not something you see everyday.” His captain said, a big smile on his face. Mingi couldn’t help but crack a smile himself, shaking his head. “Definitely not something you see everyday.” He laughed, looking over to the waterfall and laughing. The bad feeling he had had about you was gone, the bad feeling in his gut was gone. Airing his worries out to you made him feel better, things were looking up in his opinion. Maybe he would sleep properly from now on too.

The pirates made camp near the water and Mingi found himself once more staring into water. It was so clear but you couldn’t see the bottom. It was deceptively deep, someone could easily make the mistake of swimming too deep and not make it back up for air. It looked like the water from his dream.

The feeling of gentle fingertips gliding over his cheek woke him up that night. He knew his crew wouldn’t spare him the same gentle touch, it had to be you. “Wake up handsome.” Your fingertips moved from his cheek to his chin, stroking it gently as you took in features. Truly handsome.

“Where’d you go this morning?” Mingi asked, eyes opening slowly to see your face. He watched as your lips curled into smile and your eyes sparkled. “Come on.” You said softly, taking his hand into yours. Pulling Mingi from his bed, he didn’t even question it. He had decided that this island was his paradise.

“You stole my vest.” Mingi commented once they were further away from the rest of the crew. He watched you let out a hearty laugh and turn around to look at him. “I found myself quite liking it. I think i could get used to this clothing thing.” You smiled, before tugging him closer to you.

He felt his breath hitch for a moment as your chest met his, it was a natural reaction. The only thing keeping his body from yours was his vest, naturally he was flustered. Mingi pressed his chest against you, the weight of his body making you step backwards until your back hit a boulder.

“You keep calling me handsome.” Mingi remarked, his hand coming up to rest on your bare hip. It was the first time a man’s touch had made goosebumps form over your skin. “You keep calling me handsome and I don’t think I’ve told you how beautiful I think you are.” His words made you almost shiver. Of course you had heard them all before, he wasn’t your first pirate or sailor. But surely they had a different effect on you than most.

You grabbed his chin again, this time with more force than any of the other times. Mingi flinched slightly only to find your lips not inches apart from his and he took the risk. He was going to kiss a siren.

He didn’t intend to kiss you so roughly, but need took over as he pressed his lips to yours. You moved your hands to his hair and gently scratched over his scalp as he kissed you. Deepening the kiss as you did so, you could feel him hum against your lips. His hand moved up, from your hip to your waist underneath vest and his grip tightened slightly.

Mingi moved his hands down to your thighs, lifting you off the ground to lay you down on your back. The vest had shifted, being useless in covering you up at this point, so you simply took it off. He sat on his heels as you wrapped your legs around his waist, not wanting his body to leave yours. You simply looked up at him as he looked over your body, his regularly soft expression having turned dark and intense. It made heat pool inbetween your legs.

Reaching up, you undid the ties on his shirt and tugged it off of him. The action made him laugh before he leaned down and pressed his bare chest to yours. His hands moving your hair out of your face before kissing you again. This kiss was so much more intense, teeth clashing and hips rolling into yours. Not to mention the feeling of his bare skin on yours, you were infatuated with him.

His pants didn’t do much for hiding how much he enjoyed you, bulge pressing directly into your bare core. You let out a gasp at the pressure, making him nip at your lips before trailing the kisses down your jaw. He wasn’t horribly experienced but he knew enough and well he seemed to be doing just fine. That gave him a confidence boost, not to mention every little sound coming out of your mouth, boosted his confidence even more.

“Mingi-” You hummed, feeling his lips over your neck. The kisses were gentle, soft praises being whispered inbetween them. “So beautiful.” He said softly and groaned as you tugged harshly on his hair. Mingi looked you in the eyes and flashed a smile in your direction. “Where did you learn how to kiss like that?” You asked, your fingers tracing over his lips. “I had a life before this.” He chuckled before turning his face back to your skin.

His hands moved to massage your breasts, thumbs swiping over your nipples before latching his lips over one. Sucking at your skin and sending a wave of pleasure through your body and making your arch your back.

Mingi was absolutely straining in his pants now, your body was perfect to him as if you were made for him. Your soft skin, your precious lips and your gentle hands, you were everything he had always wanted.

Your fingers threading through his hair got a bit harsher the more he flicked his tongue of your nipple, you already felt like you were on fire. He moved his lips down over your stomach before stopping at before your core. This was something he had never done, but something he had always wanted to do.

Spreading your thighs a little further, he settled between your legs and wrapped his arms around them. “What are yo- Oh.” You moaned, feeling the light kiss on your core. It almost made you feel lightheaded and dizzy, as his tongue delved deeper. Licking up your juices, he couldn’t help but moan. Perhaps it was because of what you were, or maybe you truly were built for him, but you tasted sweet and addictive. He wanted more of you.

You raised your hips, guiding your core over his tongue and moaning out. “Mingi please don’t stop.” You moaned out, needing to feel that sweet sweet release. it was the way you moaned out his name, repeatedly like you were saying a prayer, he wasn’t going to stop until you came. He pulled you closer to his face, harshly and showed you that he truly wasn’t planning on stopping.

The coil in your stomach quickly burst, making your hips buck as you tried to pull away from him. The whines coming out of your mouth were music to his ears as he continued to lick over your core, lapping up every bit of your juices that he could and finally pulling away.

You looked at him as he sat on his heels again, lower part of his face glistening with your juices and breathing heavily. “Did that also get taught to you from your life before this?” You asked, sitting up to undo his pants. His arms hung at his sides and he simply let you do it for him. “Actually, I’ve never done that before.” Mingi admitted, making your actions halt. It felt entirely too good for it to have been his first time. You raised an eyebrow at him before pushing him back, making him lay on the ground.

“I feel like you’re lying to me.” You said, tugging his pants down and watching his cock spring up. “I don’t lie.” He said and you shook your head. You straddled him, your core right over his and you braced your hands on his chest. “All men lie.” You whispered, leaning down and placing a quick kiss on his lips. His hands moved to your ass and helped you sink down onto him. “I like to think I’m not like all men. Especially not what you’re used too” He groaned, finally being enveloped in you. You took a moment to let your body adjust to his, breathing through the stretch and feeling a warmth in your chest as his fingers laced with yours. It was a comforting action, to distract you from the discomfort however slight it was. Maybe Mingi wasn’t like all men.

You raised his hands over his head, pinning them there with your own as you started raising your hips. Allowing yourself to bounce on him, you felt so incredibly full. Filling you up completely and making your legs shake slightly but you put that to the side. It felt too good to stop.

Mingi was even more convinced than before that you were made for him with the way you squeezed him. You released his hands and placed yours back on his chest, needing more support as you continued to ride him. He was hitting that sweet spot inside of you with every little bit he raised his hips to meet your thrusts.

“You feel so good.” Mingi moaned out, hands pulling your chest flush against his. he planted his feet on the ground, fucking up into you and taking over. He was chasing his own high, needing a harsher pace and leaving you stuttering.

You watched his face, from his shut eyes to his clenched jaw. That alone was almost enough to make you orgasm again. You kissed his lips to hide your moans as you felt them getting louder, his crew still being only a small distance away. He kissed you in return as his own stomach filled with warmth. He was so close to release and just needed that little bit to send you both over the edge. Your hand found his hair once more, tugging it in response to a harsh thrust and that did it. His hips stuttered and deep groans left his lips as he planted himself deep inside of you. Orgasm coating your walls and sending you over the edge with him.

You lay there ontop of him, feeling incredibly full as he stroked your hair. “You are different from most men.” You mumbled softly, feeling a wave guilt come through you. “Most men don’t care the way you do.” Your words shrunk in volume even more, guilt and shame taking over you. Maybe it was guilt over your past actions, the men you had dragged to the bottom of the ocean, maybe it was about what you were going to do.

Mingi helped you get off of him, watching you lay down next to him. You rested your head on his chest and he stroked your hair. The few times he had been with someone this way, yes they had been special. But nothing quite like this, Mingi was overwhelmed with love.

“Y/N?” His tone sounded questioning, almost as unsure as the first night he had met you. “I think I might be in love with you.” He confessed, the feeling in his chest no longer being contained. He really couldn’t help himself, the last few days had been filled with you. Not just physically, but you were in his heart. You were speechless at his words, the guilt now eating you alive.

“Come with me.” You said, pushing yourself off of the ground. Mingi couldn’t care anymore, not if you were completely bare or if he was. No, he only knew he would follow you anywhere.

“Where are we going?” He asked, as you lead him towards the lake. “I feel sticky, I want to go for a swim.” You told him, hardly being able to look him in the eyes anymore. “Join me.” You added on, holding his hand gently, you stood before the water together.

“Hey.” Mingi said softly, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks and make you look at him. You hadn’t even realised it, but tears were falling over your cheeks. “What’s wrong?” He asked, those beautiful brown eyes boring holes into your own. You had never felt this guilty before. “Nothing’s wrong...” Your voice trailed off and looked to his lips once more. You started walking forward, making him walk backwards towards the water.

He stepped in slowly, leaning forward to kiss you as he did so. “Mingi... I love you too.” You admitted, deciding that that was where the guilt stemmed from. Mingi felt his chest get warm once more, not being used to this at all but wondering how your life together could be from this point on.

He kissed you, harshly and you sighed into it before diving forward. You both fell into the water, lips still locked and you gripped his wrist. You needed to get rid of your guilt and now was better than any other time.

Mingi wasn’t entirely aware of how far down into the lake you had pulled him. Your hand wrapped around his wrist as your silver tail brought you both down towards the bottom quickly.

It wasn’t until it was already too late that Mingi realised that this was his dream. Down at the bottom of a lake, the moonlight shining down through the surface as Mingi felt absolutely weightless. You let him go and swam around him, watching him blink under the water as he watched you.

He started feeling himself go lightheaded, dizzy as his lungs started to burn. He was starting to realise that his dream wasn’t a dream, it was a warning and it was now too late. Feeling his vision go dark, the last thing he saw was that silver glimmer of your tail in the moonlight and your beautiful face.

Despite being the thing that killed him, he still thought you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

A/N: Again please let me know what you think! This is quite different from what I normally write. There will most definitely be typos but please,ignore those lmao

#a&mlibrary #mingi #mingi smut #ateez #ateez reaction #ateez smut

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

The Stowaway ~ SCB [M] [Request]

WORD COUNT: 7.6K

PAIRING: Captain Changbin x Stowaway Reader

GENRE: smut, pirate au, first time, angst, speaks of drowning, oral F receiving, romantic smut.

A/N: Set between 1720 and 1750

Panting heavily as you raced down the boat docks you did your best to try and avoid being seen by the men that were chasing you. All of this because you had stolen some small apple and a loaf of bread from a food stand. Which they were going to throw away anyway since it was the end of the night.

What were they really going to do with it? It was almost midnight and you were starving, you hadn't eaten in almost four days, you needed something.

“Where did she go!?” One of them yelled in a rough voice as they lost sight of you in the darkness. Pressing your back against one of the wooden boats you held your hand over your chest as if they would find you just from the sound of how hard it was beating. If they found you there was no question about it you would be dead on the spot. No one liked thieves let alone female thief who had no family and no means of paying them back. They'd find you, kill your or worse cut your fingers off and leave you to deal with the gangrene or dying through blood loss.

"She must have gone through one of the houses. This way!" The smaller male said as he stared around, they'd been on your tail for almost twenty minutes not once letting up.

You let out a small breath staying completely still until you knew for sure that the men were gone and it was safe to come out from your hiding spot.

It wasn't as if you enjoyed stealing but it was the only way you could stay alive. Not many places except the brothel were willing to hire someone that was homeless. Being on the run for almost 3 years had no benefits besides the one where you got away from your family. You would rather spend your life on the run than one more minute with them.

The longer you stood on the docks the heavier your eyes began to get but you couldn't run into town now. The men would still be on the lookout for you and most of the pubs were overrunning with pirates. Pirates from all over the world had sailed all day and night before sleeping in a real bed before heading out the next day. As a kid, you used to dream of being a pirate, setting sail to see the whole entire world but of course, the dream would never come true. Females on ships were forbidden, it was a sign of bad luck and a sure sign that a ship would sink.

Staring up at the boat you had been leaning against you checked to see if there was any sign of someone on board. It would only be for one night, it wasn't as though you were going to be a stowaway and go on an adventure with them. One night of peaceful sleep was all you wanted.

It was highly unlikely anyone was on board the ship anyway, most of the men loved to drink at night and would stay in the hotels and brothels. There were no candles left burning that you could see and the whole place appeared to be empty so you threw your small bag through one of the portholes and waited.

Waited to see if someone heard it and came running or if there was someone on the docks that would hear you but there was nothing. Finally somewhere comfy and somewhat safe that you could sleep for at least one night.

Stepping onto the deck you looked around for any signs that someone could still potentially be there but it was clear. The whole ship was a mess, the deck was covered with a thick layer of filth, clothes were left everywhere it was a wonder the captain even let his crew live like this. Who were you to complain when it was a free bed for the night? Somewhere peaceful for you to eat your bread and apple and lay your head for one night.

"Disgusting," You mumbled climbing down into the base of the ship to find it even more of a mess than the top. There were more clothes thrown over barrels, there was dust that covered everything down there that the clothes didn't touch. It was a wonder how anyone lived on the boat without going insane but you grabbed some of the blankets and began trying to make a make-shift bed on the floor. No use complaining about the filth when it was one of the warmest places you'd gotten to sleep in for a while.

As you laid there to yourself staring out of the window at the moon you couldn't remember the last time you had slept in a real bed...The last time you had gone to sleep without a weapon in your hand. It was going to be the first time in years you could sleep without someone yelling at you to get of their yard or that you couldn't sleep under a pub table. It was peaceful.

Taking in a large breath of the sea air Changbin smiled to himself, it almost the middle of the day and he and his crew had been sailing for a few hours now.

"Jisung!" He cried out as he looked over the state of the ship. This was supposed to be one of the most terrifying ships known to all pirates and men and yet it looked like the most revolting.

"I'm sick of this place looking so bad, we need to look after it." He told his right-hand man, Chan, as they stood at the wheel of the ship looking out at the vast amounts of nothing that surrounded them. There was nothing to be seen for miles on end, just waves, birds and the off piece of wood left from wreckages.

"Yes, Captain?" Jisung asked as he rushed over to Changbin looking up at him as he waited for further instructions.

"Go below deck and fetch the mop bucket, I want this place cleaned up before we reach Midscape," Jisung nodded before disappearing towards the hatch and Changbin continued to stare at everything in front of him. Midscape was going to be their big break, the kingdom of Quinnar was about to hold a large festival which meant there were going to be plenty of opportunities for them. Plenty of ships to steal from, the seaside towns would be too busy focusing on the partying to notice food and drinks going missing.

"The usual job? Go in, steal and get out?" Chan questioned as he noticed how hard Changbin seemed to be concentrating.

"Yeah, we'll need one of the boys on pickpocketing, we could get some jewels while we're there." Chan nodding along about to say something when Jisung came speeding over to the wheel, out of breath and as white as a sheet.

"Girl...Below...Deck." He panted out as he looked up at Changbin anxiously,

"What?"

"There's a girl, asleep below deck." The whole ship came to a standstill as they stared at Jisung, all that could be heard were the waves crashing against the side of the boat.

"What do you mean a girl? A little girl? A teenager? A woman?" Changbin pressured to answer him but he was taking far too long,

"Move." He grunted locking the wheel into place before heading towards the hatch of the boat.

Laying there was a girl Changbin had noticed the night before running through one of the pubs. You'd been clutching a loaf of bread and an apple the last time he saw you.

"What shall we do? Females are bad luck on ships." Seungmin muttered as he watched you sleeping, clutching a blanket around your body as your shivered.

"Throw her overboard, we don't need bad luck," Jisung grumbled watching as you laid your head on one of his shirts.

"Don't be stupid," Changbin hissed never taking his eyes off you. He'd seen people like this before, forced to sleep in rough places because they had nowhere else to go. Just from the state of your clothes, he knew you'd not had a real home for a while,

"She's a stowaway-"

"She clearly had nowhere else to go. I doubt she meant to sail along with us," Chan cut Hyunjin off as he looked at his captain. Changbin had still yet to say anything on the matter as he continued to watch you sleep.

"Let her sleep. When she wakes you tell her to come and see me in my cabin." With that he left, leaving the boys stunned as he walked away as if nothing had happened.

Waking up to seven sets of eyes staring down at you wasn't your idea of a wake-up call. You flinched clutching the sheets around your body as you stared at each of them. All of them looked as though they were angry at you, all except for one who was just sitting and holding some food.

"I bought some food in case you were hungry," The blonde with freckles said as he pushed a small wooden tray towards you but you didn't move.

"Our Captain wants to see you." Another one with dark hair and a mole under his right air said to you as you nodded. Completely in shock that you had woken up to them standing there,

"I didn't mean to sleep so much...I-I just needed to crash for-"

"Don't explain it to us. Explain to Captain Changbin." Fear radiated through your entire body as the curly-haired boy spoke of his name. The most feared pirate in most of the kingdoms.

"Changbin?" You stuttered out as you looked at each of the men. You hadn't even bothered looking for a ship name last night, you were too tired to care.

"Welcome aboard the Fae Rouge." The curly-haired man announced as he watched you stand up a little shakily.

"Felix. Show her to Changbin's cabin." He ordered as he began cleaning up the clothes you had been using as a bed for the night. Staring at you as you and Felix began to leave, heading up the stairs, Felix allowing you to go first while he looked away. You were dressed in wenches dress covered in holes and dirt from all of the times you had slept in the streets.

"We're on the water?!" You panicked looking around you as you saw nothing but sea, you were only meant to sleep until daylight.

"Judging by the panic I guess you didn't mean to become a stowaway?" Felix questioned softly as he began to lead you over the main deck floor towards the Captains cabin below the quarter deck.

"I just needed somewhere safe to sleep." You admitted as you waited outside the door of the cabin. A huge wooden door with a dragon knocker on the front of it.

"Come in." A voice grunted from inside, your stomach began to do flips as you were ushered inside by Felix only to have him leave when you were standing in front of a desk. There was a chair behind it face out of the windows staring at the ocean. The chair turned and sitting there was someone you had grown to know through stories and wanted posters. His face was no different to the drawings you had seen, he was handsome and charming. There was a purple bandana wrapped around his head and a scar on his eyebrow that stopped hairs from growing.

There were stories that he'd gotten the scar from fighting with palace guards in Atlantia when he was last there but other stories claimed it was nothing more than a birthmark.

"I'm sorry Captain Changbin! I didn't mean to, I just needed someone safe to lay my head for the night! I never would have climbed on board if I had known it was your ship," You spoke so quickly you'd barely had time to register what it was that you were saying to him. Doing your best to not be killed or thrown overboard to die.

"But you would have climbed on board if it was someone else's?" He questioned as he stared at you, impressed that you were so out-spoken with him.

"No...Yes but-" He cut you off before you could continue,

"Did you or did you not climb onto my ship without permission?"

"Yes-"

"Did you or did you not set sail with us?" He stood up and rested his hands on the desk in front of him glancing at the map and then up to you.

"Yes, but I didn't mean to..." As you were about to explain your plan for waking up he cut you off once again.

"You're a stowaway, whether you meant it or not."

"I had nowhere else to go! I couldn't sleep in the streets for one more night," You finally cried out, raising your voice just a little as you stared at him. Changbin was taken back by it, not once had anyone ever spoken back to him but it impressed him.

"You have no home? No family?" It wasn't a way of being mean it was a way of finding out the truth. If you truly had nowhere to go he was going to take pity on you but never show it.

"No one, sir...I have no one." The room fell into silence and he sighed sitting back down in his chair.

"Felix!" He bellowed out watching the door as Felix came through it, looking directly at his captain.

"She's the new cleaner. Show her the ropes, for god sake get her some clean clothes." He grumbled before turning to look back out of the windows.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" You yelled out as Felix pulled you from the room, shutting the door and looking at you.

"I'll find something in the cabins you can wear until we reach Quinnar. Then we'll have to buy you something suitable." You ignored the looks you were gaining from the six other men that were now on the deck.

"I won't lie, they wanted to throw you overboard,"

"I don't blame them...Females on pirate ships always mean bad luck." You grumbled following him into another cabin to find seven beds lining one wall of the room, chests on the other.

"Here." Felix began rooting through one of his chests to pull out some black breeches with eight buttons on the front.

"Then I'm sure Chan won't mind if you wear one of his linen shirts," He pulled out a white long-sleeved shirt with the front dipped down, laces to keep from exposing the chest.

"I'll let you change and then I'll introduce you to them all. You're going to be here for a while you might as well learn our names." He chuckled softly leaving you to change out of your dirty rags and into the new clothes.

"Changbin asked her to clean, he wants her on the ship." You hear Felix telling the boys as you came out onto the main deck. The shirt had to be tucked in with how long it was but it was comfortable and felt nice to be in fresh clothing.

"We never learnt your name," Chan said as he watched you walking towards Felix, you stood beside the freckled boy.

"I never learnt yours." You countered back making Felix smirk from beside you. He'd heard you inside the Captains cabin talking back to Changbin whenever you got.

"I'm Bang Chan," The curly-haired man said as he looked at you,

"Hwang Hyunjin," The boy with the mole under his eye said as he smiled at you, all of them going in a line until it got to Jisung who just stared at you.

"She's not going to bite you." Felix hissed but he said nothing,

"I'm Y/n." The boys stared at you,

"No last name?" Felix frowned as he heard you only say a first name. It was uncommon for a female to go by just a first name unless they had been disowned or family killed off.

"No. Not anymore." You looked over at Jisung hoping that he would now say something to you.

"Han Jisung." He grumbled as he looked at Felix before storming off towards the wheel.

"Don't mind him, he's new to the crew and you're replacing him as the new guy." You nodded along and followed the boys as they began telling you what you could and couldn't clean around the ship.

It was a few days into your time with them all and you'd grown to know each of them on a personal level. Except for Changbin who spent most of his time in his cabin or manning the wheel. The boys had arranged for you to continue sleeping below deck, making you a bed out of old blankets and a spare pillow. Although it wasn't one of the best situations it was better than anything you'd had in the many years leading up to this moment. You were being fed two meals a day, given a warm place to sleep and all for cleaning the ship which was no hassle for you.

The only problem there was on the ship was Changbin, he seemed to have a problem with you but you put that down to being a stowaway on his ship. Whenever you would do a simple thing wrong he would yell at you for it, causing a scene or just being rude in general. Changbin would give you all of the harder tasks if you had finished your cleaning for the day but the boys would try to help if and when they could.

"Jisung! Put it down! Y/n is perfectly capable!" Changbin squawked from the Helm of the ship. Even if Jisung had a disliking to you at first he let up in the end, doing his best to help with some of your chores.

"Go and join the boys," You whispered as you continued washing the main deck. It involved using a single scrub brush to scrub each and every small wooden panel of the boat with soapy water.

"If you could not do this job you should never have climbed aboard." Changbin bellowed as you ignored him, scrubbing as hard as you could at the floor. This was one job that took everything out of you that you had to do every other day, spending almost your entire day going over the entire boat.

"When you're done the windows in my cabin need washing." Changbin was now standing over you, watching as you scrubbed harder and harder. Changbin admired how hard you were willing to work for him but he wasn't going to say it out loud and risk being seen as soft.

"Yes, Captain." You spoke as you looked up at him, he moved away from you before disappearing back into his cabin leaving Chan in charge of the wheel.

The floors were clean and there were still a few more hours of daylight left, Felix had called you out onto the main deck.

"We'll be arriving in Quinnar in two days. You better sharpen your skills." He threw a sword in your direction making you laugh as you caught it by the handle.

"Am I allowed on shore with you?" You questioned as he began to come towards you, holding the sword up as though he was ready to attack.

"I can't see why not, I'll find you some clothes and then I'll show you around." You remembered Felix had said he had lived in Quinnar almost all of his life until he ran away to join Changbin.

Watching you and Felix pretending to fight on the deck was beginning to irritate Changbin so he barged out of his room.

"Since you don't know how to follow simple directions," He grunted as he took the swords away from you both, throwing them to Jeongin who scrambled to put them away.

"I asked you to clean my windows since you want to learn to be a pirate instead...Show me what you've got." Frowning as you turned to look at Changbin you waited for him to explain what it was that he meant.

"I saw you stealing the night you left, show me what you've got...We'll see if we can put you to good use." Standing up straight you looked at him wondering how this was going to work when he had set you up to the task.

"You'll know because you're watching," He hummed at you,

"So it continues for the rest of the night...You'll steal from us and we'll see what you come back with at dinner." Nodding along with him you glanced over at Seungmin who was smirking.

"Bet we catch you," Smirking back over at him you shook your head.

"Bet you don't."

The end of the night came faster than you had been expecting it to and now all nine of you were crowded around a large table below deck.

"Well...You failed, I'm not missing anything." Changbin said smugly as he poured himself a glass of ale, you hummed standing up from the table.

"I think you'll find, you're wrong, Captain." Taking out a large sack from under the table you poured the contents onto the table. Revealing everything that was inside from jewels, food, clothes, money and even the compass that Changbin kept on him at all times.

"Impressive work." He complimented a small smile playing on his lips as he took the compass from the pile and turned it around in his fingers.

"How did you manage to swipe this?" He questioned, truly curious to know when it never left his inside pocket.

"You asked me to clean your windows. While I was cleaning them this afternoon I asked you to move from your desk and bumped into you." Thinking back on it Changbin smirked as he thought about the way your hand ever so slight brushed against his chest.

"Even if you don't want to swipe on Quinnar she could perform for other sailors...Distract them." Minho chuckled as he remembered catching you singing one day while you were cleaning.

"She can sing, dance and maybe she can read to them." He finished as he stuffed food into his mouth. You had been helping the boys learn to read and write while you were spending your time on the ship at night.

"You read?" Changbin questioned as you sat back down at the table, nodding your head.

"My mother taught me as a little girl. I can also write and read a map." The more he learnt about you the more interested he began to grow.

There would have been a time when Changbin never would have allowed you onto his ship but hearing that you had no one back home made him want to take a chance on you. No one deserved to be alone in the world and that was something he lived by. Taking in sailors that had no wives, family or means of living. It was how he had met most of the boys besides Jeongin who simply joined because he wanted to.

"You're just full of surprises," He hummed pouring you a glass of ale before going back to his food.

Although he had been hard on you through most of your time with him you couldn't hold it against him. He'd taken you in and cared for you even though he could have just as easily thrown you overboard and fed you to the sharks.

"We should get an early night. We'll be sailing all day tomorrow with little rest at night." Changbin digressed as he rose from his chair, your eyes on him the entire time as he retreated to his cabin for the rest of the night.

Quinnar was bright and loud as soon as you reached the docks, people were partying everywhere you turned to look.

"I'll take her to go and get some clothes, then we'll start on the west side of town," Felix explained to the boys as you waited for him. Practically bouncing up and down with excitement as you looked around, it was your first time being anywhere this far from home and it was starting to set in that you had sailed there.

"Follow me." Felix chuckled as he began to walk with you off the ship and down the wooden docks. Your eyes immediately went to the water it was crystal clear with white sand at the edges.

"Can we go to the water after?" You questioned as you began to walk through crowded streets. People were dressed in top hats, suits and some women were out in the street topless.

"They get excited about the festivals," Felix whispered as he noticed your gaze lingering on some of the groups that were getting louder and louder.

"You should see them when they've been drinking," He laughed softly pulling you towards a small clothing stand and looking over everything before settling on something.

"We'll take the black Bustier dress." He paid for the dress in full and an elderly woman took you by the hand. Eyeing you up when she noticed you in men's breeches and a shirt.

"Ran away to play pirates did you?" She questioned as she led you into a small bathroom, you smiled weakly as she began measuring you.

Coming out from the changing room you smiled as you reached Felix, doing a small turn to show off the black Bustier and lace dress that you'd put a white shirt underneath.

"Looks great, now you really are a pirate." He whispered in your ear pushing you back through the crowds to begin your work. Everyone was already standing on top of one another, they would rarely notice something going missing from their pockets.

Later in the night as Changbin was heading back to the ship he saw you just sitting in the sand on the beach. Your feet were sitting by the edge of the water and you looked peaceful, a small smile on your lips.

"Do I pay you to sit around all day?" He snapped when he reached you, brushing off your hands you looked up at him.

"It's almost midnight, the boys are all drinking I thought we had time off-"

"You thought wrong." You nodded before getting yourself up from the sand, dusting off your dress to follow him back to the ship but Changbin was taken by the bag of loot by your side.

"Busy day?" You nodded handing him the bag as you began to walk back to the docks.

"Felix and I hit the west and then we got bored so we joined Jisung and Seungmin in the south." You smirked remembering everything you had done that day and now you were truly exhausted from everything.

"There's one more thing I want you to do for me tonight," Changbin told you as he walked by your side. The two of you out alone as you headed towards the ship. As much as Changbin wanted to tell you how good a job you were doing for him he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Sure."

"Go and get the boys, we need to sail now before anyone realises we're the ones that stole their goods." Nodding at him you headed off back in the direction of the town.

All of the boys had gone to the black pearl for a drink so it was going to be easy to find them but not so easy getting them back to the boat.

"Captain wants you back, he wants to sail home." You mumbled as Minho threw an arm around your shoulder, dropping almost his whole body weight onto you as you attempted to drag him out of the bar.

"But we want to drink! CELEBRATE!" He screamed out as Jisung joined your side, helping you carry him a little while the rest of the boys - who were moderately sober - began to leave.

"We can celebrate on board," You told Minho who began singing loudly in the street,

"Soon may the Wellerman come To bring us sugar and tea and rum One day, when the tonguing is done We'll take our leave and go!" When he realised no one was joining in with him he began to get louder and louder, jabbing your side telling you to sing along. You had sung on the boat for him a couple of times but never in front of anyone else.

"She'd not been two weeks from shire when down on her a right a whale bore. The captain called all hands and swore he'd take that whale in tow!" He screamed as you sat on the main deck, Changbin had begun sailing out of the docks the moment you arrived back with everyone. The rest of the boys had gone to sleep in their beds while you looked after Minho,

"SING!" He screamed at you making you laugh softly as he threw up down the side of the boat. Rubbing his back softly you began to sing sweetly to him, not wanting to be as aggressive as his singing had been.

"Soon may the Wellerman come To bring us sugar and tea and rum One day, when the tonguing is done We'll take our leave and go..." You rubbed his back and he got back up, patting your back roughly as he left you there to got bed.

"SHIT!" You screamed out as he hit you a little too hard, sending you into the freezing water. Head flooding with thoughts as you forgot how to swim, waves sending you down to the water as soon as you got some form of air.

The water sent your body into shock as you tried to come up for air, flailing your arms around as though you were trying to climb rocks. Waves were crashing into your body knocking your back down whenever you got close to getting a piece of the precious air.

"For fucks sake," Changbin cried out when he realised no one else was going to come after you.

Dropping the anchors he began storming over to the side you'd gone overboard on, stripping from his shirt. Staring over to see if he could see any sign of you but it was pitch black. Climbing onto the railing he dove in after you swimming under the water when he saw you limply trying to reach for the water.

"Don't you dare die on me!" Changbin roared as he laid you down on the main deck, pushing down on your chest repeatedly before breathing air into your mouth.

"You're not allowed to leave," He hissed as he continued pushing against your chest. Your eyes were half open as you looked around you,

"Leave me alone...You hate me," You coughed up the saltwater spitting it down beside him on the floor.

"Do you think I want you dead?" He scoffed as he sat you up carefully, handing you a cup of freshwater.

"Would be an easy way to get rid of a woman on your ship,"

"And lose one of the best pirates I've come to meet?" He blushed looked down at you as you continued to sip on the freshwater, shivering as you sat on the deck soaked in water on a cold night.

"Let's go and get you warmed up." He mumbled helping you up onto your feet, wrapping his shirt around you as he walked you towards his cabin.

"You can sit in front of the fire." Sitting you down in a chair he added some more wood to the small fireplace in his cabin and went to grab you some dry clothes to change into. Settling on some of his baggy breeches and a large white shirt.

"Why are you being nice? It's freaking me out." You mumbled as he gave you a blanket to change underneath, still turning his back on you so you would feel comfortable.

"I've always been nice, I let you stay didn't I?" He countered as he looked at the windows in front of him, smirking a little as you spoke back to him with a little attitude.

"Begrudgingly I bet," You grumbled folding your arms over your chest as you finished changing into the clothes he had given to you.

"I was the one that opted to stop them throwing you overboard," He raised his eyebrow at you truly not understanding why you thought he hated you or wanted you dead.

"I gave you a job, I gave you shelter. If I really wanted to I could have put you out," You cleared your throat when it was clear for him to turn back and he wrapped you in a blanket to keep you from getting colder.

"I could have let you drown," He scoffed as he looked at you knowing that he would never actually let you drown.

"But you didn't...what was it you said...Best pirate?" You smirked up at him remembering what he had said out on the deck.

"Shut up, you were hallucinating," You hummed as you stared at the fireplace, enjoying the warmth as it spread through your entire body enjoying it as you sat there.

"Thank you though...For taking me in...letting me work for you." Your eyes were beginning to get heavy as you sat there,

"Like I said. The best pirate just don't tell the boys," He chuckled looking at you as he saw you beginning to nod off in the chair. It was rather adorable how you got so tired just from sitting in front of a fireplace.

"You should get some rest, sea air and water can take it out of you sometimes." You hummed as you got up, ready to leave his chambers when his hand came to rest on your shoulder. Pulling you to come back into the room, there was no way he was going to make you stay below deck when he knew it was colder down there than anywhere else on the ship. Any other night would have been fine but not when you'd just taken a swan dive into the ocean and almost drowned.

"Take my bed, it's comfier than the sheets you're on." You remembered seeing the bed when you were cleaning once. It was a large double bed covered in pillows and blankets that looked to be hand-sewn, fit enough for some kind of king to lay on.

Shivering and teeth chattering as you laid in bed you couldn't warm up despite the mound of blankets covering you. All of the warmth from the fire gone now that you were curled up on a bed,

"Relax. You need to relax your body," It was easy for Changbin to say as he laid on the floor in front of the fire taking most of the heat from you,

"Come up here," You stuttered out through gritted teeth, not caring if you were going to share a bed with someone. All you cared about was getting warm.

"Why?"

"Warm me up," You hissed looking at him with a serious look to prove you meant it and he got up, bringing one of the extra blankets with him and crawling in behind you.

"Sweet mother of pearl, you are freezing," He hissed when he felt your feet grace over his leg, he threw the blanket he had been using over your both.

"Hold...Hold me." You looked over your shoulder at him and he nodded, inching closer to you as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

"Tell me why you took pity on me...Why keep me? You didn't know I was a good pirate then," You stuttered out body still shivering uncontrollably as he continued to hold you in his arms.

"I saw you stealing the night before so I knew you were hungry and most likely tired...Then when you told me that you had no one-"

"You felt sorry for me?" You cut him off as you listened to him speaking to you,

"No. I knew what you were going through. I ran away from my family home as a teenager and I knew what kind of place you were in. No job. No home. You needed somewhere." Your body began to relax as you listened to him speaking to you so calmly and openly about himself. It was the first time you'd heard him speak of any kind of life before he was a pirate, none of the boys spoke about him before you only knew their stories.

"You ran away?" Concern leaked from your tone and he smiled weakly, it was the first time he told anyone this story. Even the boys thought he had been born into the pirate world.

"From Atlantia when I was 18." He chuckled weakly at the distant memory of his time there, everything was a first for him to speak about.

"I was a naughty kid, got into trouble too much, stole from people and was just a troubled kid. My family decided it was time to send me to work in a factory...I knew for a fact I didn't want to do I ran." Frowning as you listened to him you couldn't help but think about how much you had in common with one another, both running away from a life neither of you wanted.

"I took nothing, I just headed for the sailors and asked for a ride to the next Kingdom. Then from there, I worked on different ships until I found Fae Rouge. Abandoned and left to rot in some random harbour. I stole her." Rolling over to look up at him you stared at him in the candlelight, just listening to him speak was enough to relax you in his arms.

"I was hard on you when you first got here because I needed to know if you had a thick skin. Pirates need a thick skin if they're going to make it." He looked down at you not realising how close you were to one another until he could feel your breath on his lips.

"How did you get the scar?" You whispered running your hand up to his face, cupping it in your hand as you ran one finger along the scar on his eyebrow.

"When I was a kid, it's not a good idea to go up to a horse from behind." He smirked as he remembered getting thrown back against the wall but he knew the rumours about the scar and why you must have asked. You went to brush your hands through his hair when he took your wrist into his hand.

"Sorry." You whispered going to move away when his grip around your waist tightened and he held you in place.

"I never said I didn't like it," He whispered as he leaned in, brushing his lips against yours until you pushed them together. Gasping a little as you felt a jolt rush through your body, something you had only heard in stories from old people.

Soon the kiss became heated and he moved his lips to your neck, kissing up and down your exposed skin as your hands worked their way into his hair tugging softly.

The shock still hadn't worn off as Changbin stripped you down bare, himself included as he looked at you. Admiring your body as he ran his hand over your breasts playing with your hardened nipples,

"Changbin," You breathed as he continued to massage them, leaning down to take your left nipple into his mouth. Sucking softly while his hand pinches the right nipple,

"You like that?" He questioned a little cockily as he looked up at you, you hummed back at him. You'd never experienced anything like this it was all new to you.

Changbin continued as he kissed down your body looking up at you as you whimpered. You could feel how wet you were beginning to grow between your thighs just from the small kisses and touches he was giving to you.

When his head delved between your legs and tongue graced your clit making you whimper.

"Sweet little noises, has no one made you feel good before?" You shook your head and he pressed a kiss against your swollen bud, licking and sucking softly as he watched you. Enjoying the way your face scrunched up and moans left your mouth. Changbin went slow with you, running his tongue up and down your folds occasionally dipping inside of you to see what you enjoyed. Each of your moans grew louder each time which only encouraged him as he slicked up a finger in your juices.

"You might feel a pinch," He whispered slowly easing his finger into you feeling you clench around him tightly.

"O-Oh fuck you're tight," He moaned despite it being his finger inside of you, there was no way he would last with you that tight.

"C-Changbin." You whined when you felt a small pain,

"I know..." He pressed kissing on your clit,

"I know but it'll pass." He whispered as he continued to lap up your clit.

The pain began to subside as he began to move one finger in and out of you. Your head spinning a little at the new sensations you were experiencing, each thrust of his fingers making you whimper and moan.

"Changbin....S-Something-" Changbin smirked as he could feel you clenching faster around his finger with each thrust,

"It;'s okay, just let it go," He breathed out as he continued to thrust his fingers, watching as your head rolls back against the sheets and you let out a sinful cry of his name. Something had tightened inside of you and finally snapped free as waves of pleasure rushes through your body making you see white.

"What...What was that?" You whimpered as he kissed back up to your lips, looking at you with loving eyes.

"An orgasm," He chuckled watching you as you bit down on your lip,

"I-I want more." He nodded kissing your lips softly going to kiss down your body when you pulled him back up. Running your hand down to his crotch,

"I-I want you." You pleaded with him, looking down into his eyes. He nodded as he looked at you, kissing you sweetly as he towered above you.

Your legs were spread as the tip of Changbin's cock brushed through your folds, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you but he knew it was going to sting even for a little while.

"Please," You begged him as he lined the tip up with your entrance, sliding into you with a loud groan. His hand digging into your hips to still himself from moving too fast too soon but it felt good. You were so tight around him it was like nothing he'd ever experienced before.

"S-Shit," You hissed at the sudden sensation of fullness, biting down on your lip hard enough to draw blood.

"Are you okay?!" He asked, his voice filled with panic as he looked down at you. Nodding at him you run your fingers down his chest,

"You can move," You told him as you reached to grab his shoulder, wrapping your legs around his waist not wanting to lose the sensation of him inside of you. All that clouded your thoughts was how badly you wanted him moving in and out of you just as his finger had been.

Changbin sank all the way into you and your eyes widened moaning out his name loudly as you clenched around him with each thrust.

"F-Fuck you have no idea how good that feels Y/n." He purred in your ear as he continued to pushing and out of you at a steady pace, the head of his cock hitting that one sensitive spot that made your head spin.

"C-Changbin, don't stop." Your head rolled back as he moved a little faster inside of you, reaching one hand down between you both to rub your clit.

"So good!" You cried out as your back arched away from the mattress the tightening sensation beginning to build up once again.

"T-That feeling is back," You warned him as your eyes shot open to stare up at him, he nodded rubbing your clit faster.

"That's okay, you can let go...L-Lord knows I will." He grunted as he timed his thrusts in time with his hand on your clit.

The warm sensation from before turned into molten lava as you felt yourself cumming around him, dragging your nails into his skin as you cried out his name. Changbin's fingers dug into your hips as he grunted, letting go inside of you as you whimpered feeling something seep out of you.

Holding onto you for the rest of the night Changbin promised to wash you off in the tub in the morning, if he did it now you would only get cold again. All you wanted to do was sleep beside him with him holding onto you but the door burst open revealing Minho who had finally come to realise what he had done.

"Minho! Knock!" Changbin roared out as he covered you with the sheets so that Minho couldn't see your naked body.

"I thought-"

"You knocked her overboard? You did. I got her...Go back to bed." Minho nodded backing out of the room without another word about it with bright red cheeks.

"This will be fun to explain in the morning," Changbin chuckled as he laid back down beside you, looking at you as you took his face into your hand.

"Even more fun in the future...Taking the seas together." You whispered as you leaned up to kiss him once again, wincing as you felt a pain rush through your body at the sudden movement.

"Get some sleep," He whispered as he wrapped an arm around you, letting you get comfortable before he attempted to.

King and Queen of the seas were what you were named in every town, drawings of the two of you strewn across every posted you came into contact with for the rest of your lives. It only made the adventures you had with him and the boys all the more fun.

Tagline: @minholuvs @taestannie @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @taeechwitaa @justbangtanthingz @stillwithlix

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