#like he’s not aware of my gender issues but he knows I do shit like this
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Sanji x Reader drabble
Word count: 1.5k
I am so in love with this man. I have so many feelings about Sanji, about his past, about him hiding his anxiety. And yeah this is based on a scene from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries lol.
Sanji sees someone associated with his past, you calm him down. (Mild comfort, fluff, pre-timeskip, pre-relationship, no one is aware Sanji's a Vinsmoke by birth yet. Gender neutral reader)
It was a lazy day, the kind that makes Sanji's face stretch into a languid catlike grin. There were no pressing issues, no captain getting into the worst trouble imaginable, no swordsman annoying the shit out of him. Life was good. To top it all off, here he was, enjoying a drink in a small island pub with his favourite straw hat.
Life was so good.
You had chuckled when he'd offered to buy you a drink as a thank you for joining him today. The sound was like wedding bells to him; loud, low, and one that made his heart race. He'd beamed at you when you'd agreed, pulling you into the nearby bar.
The two of you had been chatting for hours, beyond comfortable with each other. It had been so good to be away from the others, just having your complete undivided attention. And soon enough, the sun was setting, the two of you too wrapped up in having fun to even notice.
You sighed. “I suppose it's time we got back, last thing we need is a search party looking for us.”
It was regrettable, but Sanji agreed. He'd s get the walk back with you, so win-win, really. With a flourish that made you smile, Sanji offered his hand, gently helping you out of the booth.
Life was good.
Or it would have been, had Sanji not seen it. A man. No, not just a man.
A Germa66 soldier
His blood ran cold. It couldn't be like this. No one knew his true lineage, and he was not about to ruin his whole life by telling you all! No. He couldn't let you know. Sanji could practically see how hurt you'd be, how he'd lied to you by omission.
He'd finally gotten another family, he was not going to let some random soldier ruin it!
And besides, what was someone from Germa even doing here!? The implications made anxiety try to claw its way out of Sanji's chest.
You, unbeknownst to Sanji, were studying him. One second the two of you were giggling like lovestruck teenagers, the next he was frozen, eyes trained across the bar.
“Ji? You okay?”
Nothing. Sanji was still.
“Sanji!” You clicked your fingers in front of him. “Eyes on me. Nothing to worry about, ‘kay?”
The cook didn't move, still staring at the man across the room with palpable fear. You could practically taste the anxiety rolling off him in waves.
“Just…someone from my past.” He managed to breathe out.
“And you're safe. Eyes on me. If you keep looking at him he's going to see you. Look at me.”
His shaking eyes regarded you for a second before wandering back to the soldier. You had no idea where they were from, or how they knew Sanji, but right now you didn't care. Based on how badly he was trying to cover up his fear, you were certain this was big.
He didn't budge when you tried to direct him to you.
“Sanji!” You bit as quietly as you could.
Sanji looked so scared, so helpless. It hurt your heart. Running out of ideas you cringed. You had one, but it wasn't exactly the best. But Sanji needed his crew right now. He needed someone to ground him.
With a speed you didn't often muster, you forced the tall man to look at you, hand cradling his chin. The fear was still apparent in his eyes, but ever the agreeable boy he stared in your eyes. You felt him startle when you wrapped your free arm around his neck.
A small apology left your lips.
Before he could turn his attention back to panicking you pulled him down to meet you, kissing him softly. Using Sanji's shock to your advantage you spun the two of you so you could keep an eye on the man that had your friend so desperately afraid.
Sanji gasped into the kiss, and for a moment you were worried he was going to push you back. His hands were thrust towards you, palms splayed. You braced yourself for the impact.
But it never came.
Instead you felt his strong arms encircle your waist, one travelling to clutch at your back, the other snaking to hold you closer against him. Sanji melted against your lips, a small noise of appreciation slipping out.
Shit, he was a really good kisser. You fought the urge to close your eyes, to just give in and kiss the man silly, but you had a job to do. It felt wrong to kiss Sanji with your eyes open, but you trained your eyes on the man he was scared of. The soldier was exiting the pub with a beautiful woman, him eagerly leading her by the hand while she giggled.
Once they had left and the coast was clear you began to relax. You'd love to say you did the right thing and gently pulled back, but you didn't. Your eyes slipped closed as you kissed him with a passion that scared you, after all, when would you get another opportunity to kiss the man? Sanji clearly wasn't expecting it, if the cute little noise he made was anything to go off. You relished the feeling of his lips against yours. They weren't chapped, which surprised you, both living on the sea. But, you supposed, if anyone was going to take care to make sure his lips were soft and kissable, it'd be Sanji.
You wish you could convey all your thoughts and feelings in the kiss; you're safe, you're loved, I'll follow you wherever.
I love you.
Regretfully you pulled back, both for air and out of guilt, you'd certainly taken advantage of the situation. Sanji chased your lips for a second before coming to and straightening. His beautiful eyes on yours in a moment, you watched him sigh, a more relaxed air about him. His eyes swept across the pub floor, anxiety rising when he couldn't find the soldier. You grabbed one of his hands, rubbing soothing circles into the top of his palm. Sanji's eyes snapped down to yours.
“He's gone.” You smiled warmly up at him. Sanji looked dazed, making you smile stretch to a grin. “He left about two minutes ago. It's okay Ji.”
Sanji wanted to say a thousand things, to thank you, to sing you praises, to cry and hold you close, thankful of your protection. Instead all he managed out was;
“You kissed me.”
You felt a light blush stain your cheeks, pointedly looking away from him. Sanji wanted to scoop you up and kiss you silly, you looked so cute when bashful.
“I needed to distract you, you were panicking.” You pouted dropping his hand, with narrowed eyes you snapped your gaze back to him. “Besides, you kissed me back.”
Staring up at Sanji took your breath away, he was regarding you with such genuine warmth. The intensity of his stare made you uncomfortable, and you made a move to excuse yourself. Sanji gently scooped your hand up, and held it against his chest between his hands. You blushed, looking up at him completely dazed.
“Love.” He paused. “(Name), I- thank you. You're so good to me.” Another pause, before he hammed it up. “And to experience a kiss from such a beauty? You're truly an angel fell from the heavens.”
He shot you such a cheeky smirk, his eyes sparkling, but you knew better. Sanji was a sweetheart, and yeah he could be a pervert, and a ladies’ man, and just a tad overdramatic, but he definitely played it up to protect himself. The feelings were hanging in the air unspoken; love, dedication, thankfulness. But it wasn't the time for that, neither of you wanted to have your hearts broken, brave on the battlefield does not always mean brave in love. But still, that stupid charming grin had you, hook, line, and sinker.
“Well my dear, if you ever need to distract me again...” He relished the laugh that escaped you. You pat his chest and moved your hand to delicately cradle his cheek.
“I'll make sure to keep that in mind. You might wanna watch yourself though, or you'll never pry me off you.”
Sanji chuckled, lovestruck. “Oh no, what a shame! You know I'm feeling kinda-”
You lightly swatted him on the cheek before he could finish, flustered but on cloud nine. “Alright loverboy, c'mon.”
“One more kiss?” He pouted, that boyish charm captivating you. He grinned when you pulled him down for a kiss.
You had aimed for a quick peck, but Sanji held you in place, peppering you in kisses as you giggled. He placed a last kiss on your lips, melting as you crushed him against you and kissed back with fervor. You pulled back with an audible smack.
“Wow.” He whispered, relishing in the love in your eyes.
“Now, c'mon, for real this time, handsome.”
You two didn't need to audibly say it right now, it was obvious you to regarded each other highly. The right day would come.
#one piece x reader#sanji x reader#black leg sanji x reader#vinsmoke sanji x reader#drabbles#i just love him so much man#i can imagine him inwardly freaking tf out at the idea of his crew finding out and hating him#ji doesnt wanna lose another family ;-;#n e way.... i love sanji#i have a lotta emotions about sanji#like girl....he wants everyone to be happy and he hides so mucb and i love him#once again im half asleep so this might be trash lololol i just wanna kiss him silly
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RZ!Michael Myers x Gender neutral Nurse!Reader
Summary: Reader pushes for Michael to have a lunch he’ll finish for once
Warnings: None, just fluff :)
700~ words
”Is it really so hard to just give him an extra scoop of mashed potatoes instead of the carrots? I mean, seriously, what’s the problem?” (Y/N)’s voice rang out, annoyed by the basic lack of caring among the kitchen staff. They really didn’t think it’d be so hard to switch out what was on the tray, especially since Michael’s meal ticket was just like everyone else’s. The whole point of having meal tickets was so that each patient would receive a meal that they could finish.
”If he can’t suck it up and eat the damn vegetables on the plate, then that’s not my problem! I’m not making exceptions just because that freak is a picky eater.”, the kitchen manager spoke with irritation, clearly not willing to budge on the matter. There was a heated glare shared between the two, only to be interrupted by Dr. Loomis before (Y/N) could get more personal with the argument.
“(Y/N), what’s taking so long on Michael’s food? You know we serve him first to get him out of the dining room quicker.” Dr. Loomis scolded. He turned his attention to the kitchen manager, asking what the hold up was. “Tell me, what is the problem? We are all well aware of what Michael gets like when he’s irritated.”
Piping up to defend Michael and themself, (Y/N) spoke bluntly to get to the point. “All I asked was why we couldn’t switch the mushy carrots that Michael always picks around for a second scoop of mashed potatoes. As a nurse, and especially as his nurse, I need him to start eating the whole tray of food. I really don’t see what the issue is, everyone would benefit. Michael gets a tray of food that he’ll actually eat all of, I get to chart 100% of the meal eaten, and we get him back to his room without a fuss.”
“Why should I make an exception for him when it wasn’t on the meal ticket to begin with? It’s not like he’s allergic to the shit! He shouldn’t be treated special just because he’s a picky eater.” The kitchen manager argued, still disagreeing with (Y/N). Sighing and ignoring the protests from the kitchen manager, Dr. Loomis gave the go ahead to change Michael’s meal. And with a satisfied grin, (Y/N) took his tray and headed to his table.
Michael was sitting alone as always, either glaring at people who got to close or simply staring at the table. His posture, though it had always been pretty terrible, looked especially tense today. Today had been one thing after another for him; Prodding from Dr. Loomis, multiple broken crayons and dry markers, a ripped mask, a new patient getting too bold with his personal space, (Y/N) busy with charting instead of sitting with him during free time, more prodding from Dr. Loomis. To put it bluntly, he was not happy. Without much choice but to behave, at least, unless he wanted to get his few privileges taken away, Michael balled his hands up while resting them on the table and he patiently but irritably waited for his food.
His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar hand setting a tray down in front of him. Without glancing up from the table, he quickly assessed what was on it, already prepared to shovel in the pudding and eat around the carrots. But.. there were no carrots, or any mushy vegetables for that matter. In its place was extra mashed potatoes, and while not exactly the best mashed potatoes he’d ever had, were still far superior to bland carrots with no brown sugar to add to them.
“Do me a favor and eat the whole tray this time, otherwise you might not get this kind of privilege again.” (Y/N)’s voice broke him from his thoughts, and he turned his gaze toward them slightly. Silent as always, Michael showed his appreciation by simply eating the food like he was asked to, starting with the potatoes he’d been gifted instead of the chocolate pudding. When he finished, he was escorted back to his room. When lunch was over and everyone had been escorted back to their designated locations, (Y/N) stayed behind in the dining hall to help clean up. Starting with Michael’s table, a soft smile spread on their face at the sight of an empty tray.
-A/N-
Waaaaahh my first post! I know it’s a little short, but I’ll get better the more I write >:D I can’t wait to write more and get more scenarios out <3
#slashers#slashers x reader#michael myers#rz michael myers#michael myers x reader#RZ Michael myers x reader
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nick sturniolo x ftm!reader
um i wrote this for @hbpr1nce . it was meant to be a short little fluffy drabble but spiraled into a 2.6k+ friends-to-lovers monstrosity. idk
be aware my writing style is very different than most sturniolo x reader authors on this app. i use second person & generally avoid the use of y/n (I'd rather use an oc name if absolutely necessary). it's also really like... plot-y? reader-centric? i didn't even mean for that to happen. honestly this feels like a prequel, i might write a sequel.
also i forgor the exact timeline of Nick's coming out so i just winged it lmao
summary: you're nick sturniolo's childhood friend, basically follows you realizing you're a trans man w nick supporting you the whole time, + ur eventual getting together. angst+fluff, no smut.
warnings: romantic nick x ftm!reader, transphobia, body image/self-esteem issues, I'm posting w minimal editing so beware, uhhh thats it i think?
Nick's always been your biggest supporter.
He's one of your first friends, because in 3rd grade he's the only one who stands up to the teacher when she tries to send you to the office for something you didn't do. You remember it distinctly: Nick literally red in the face from all the yelling, Matt trying to calm him down.
Nick doesn't remember it at all, but you do, and you've been his friend ever since.
He's the first to understand you, back when you thought you just hated everything about yourself. You hated your hair, so you cut it off. You hated your body, so you covered it up.
You hated your name, too, but there was no real solution to that.
It’s just so flowery, you'd complain with a wrinkled nose. So common. It didn't fit your face. Maybe that was why you avoided mirrors (it wasn't, but you didn't know that at the time either).
On what must be the thousandth time you complain of it, Nick rolls his eyes and says, “Just change it.”
“What?”
He waves a hand. “Just go by a nickname or something. Change it legally when you're older, if you want.”
Huh. For some reason that never occurred to you.
You cycle through a few nicknames, mostly just shortenings of your first and middle names, but none of those feel right either. Again, it's Nick that solves the issue, suggesting a few names until he lands on one that just… fits.
When you ask your other friends to call you by it, one of them asks, “Isn't that a boy’s name?”
He doesn't say it rudely or anything. You freeze anyway, because again, you didn't think about that, and again, Nick comes to your rescue. “It's gender neutral, dumbass,” he says good-naturedly. Your friend laughs and the moment passes by.
(You don’t notice, but Nick watches you closely from the corner of his eye. He looks like a theory was just confirmed.)
A few months after you change your name, you hear some kids talking in the hall about a trans student, saying—well. Nothing good.
Your hands go numb. Your stomach churns violently, and for the life of you, you can't figure out why. Obviously it’s shitty of them to say that, but high school is awful and you've overheard worse without freaking out over it.
You dismiss it as a freak coincidence.
Your anxiety gets worse, and quarantine doesn't help. Your parents are especially paranoid about the virus, so you barely leave your house.
There are up-sides, though. You talk with Nick almost every day now. Apparently his entire house burned down, so he's stuck in a tiny apartment with his parents and three brothers. He's fairing well, though, and he's one of your only friends who keeps in touch with you.
When he calls, he always uses the name you chose for yourself (or did he choose it?). These days, he’s the only one who does.
Nick comes out to you on a warm August afternoon.
“Holy shit,” you say. “I mean, that's great, man.” You wince. ‘Great’ doesn't seem like the right word to use there, but what else are you supposed to say? “Does anyone else know?”
“Yeah.” You hear a sigh of relief, and your heart clenches at the thought that Nick would hold even a sliver of fear of your reaction. “Nate, Max—a few others… Matt and Chris don't know, yet.”
Your jaw drops. “What? You haven't told them?” Nick and his triplet brothers told each other almost everything. You figured they'd be first on the list.
You remembered, vaguely, a conversation where you asked Nick if he had any secrets from Matt and Chris. He'd hesitated before shaking his head.
Huh, you thought. ‘No secrets’, my ass.
“Yeah,” Nick said like he’d had this conversation before. “I don't know why. I know they'd be fine with it, obviously, but it's just… a lot of work, y’know? They might be weird about it. No, they definitely will be. That's almost worse.”
You frowned. Granted, you weren't as close with Matt and Chris as you were with Nick, but they'd never struck you as homophobic. And they'd always been close with Nick, closer than most siblings. You couldn't imagine them reacting negatively.
Still, you understood Nick’s nervousness. That was big news to drop. One way or another, everything would change.
“They might be a little weird about it,” you admitted. “But they'll get over it. Probably. Either way, you've gotta do it eventually so may as well get it over with, right?”
“Yeah.” The word was tinged with frustration. “I know. I'll do it soon. Probably.”
It's not a surprise when, on their next call, he announces he's done it. You congratulate him, and the two of you talk about life in general, though there aren't many updates. Your mind is elsewhere, and you think Nick senses it because you say your goodbyes a few minutes later.
In your mind, you turn it over and over again in your head. Nick is gay and he came out and everything is fine. Everyone is cool with it. And even though at this point you haven’t admitted anything to yourself—
Something inside you untenses.
***
When you see Nick in person for the first time in over a year, you almost double over in envy.
It comes from nowhere. It completely blindsides you. He steps into the cafeteria with Matt and Chris by his side and you're suddenly so jealous you could puke.
He just looks really good, actually smiling and happy and tall. That's the only reason you're jealous, you decide, as Chris nearly shoves Nick into a table. Nick had a glow-up but quarantine only made you uglier, inside and out. Of course you'd be jealous.
To your surprise, Nick singles you out first out of all his friends. “Hey.” He smiles. It's a gentle smile, and he looks so happy and good and—did you mention he’s tall? At least taller than you, though that's not saying much. You're short enough that you almost never get mistaken for a boy, and when you do, it’s usually because of your short hair.
But you and Nick have the same hair length.
Huh. Same hair, similar style (yours perhaps even more ‘masculine’ than his), but no one ever mistakes you for a man after they see your face or hear your voice. Your stomach twists in envy again at the thought, this time with a distinct undercurrent of self-loathing.
If I looked like you…
(I probably wouldn't hate myself so much.)
It's just because Nick looks so good, though.
***
It's a snowball effect after that.
It's like Nick coming out put the concept on transness on your radar. You find yourself reading articles about it late at night. Just out of curiosity, you tell yourself.
But being trans would explain a lot about you. Almost everything, really.
One night you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. That's something you don't usually do. You don't like your body. You don't like your face. And for the first time, you're thinking:
Why? What don't I like about it?
The fat on your stomach. The fat around your waist. Your mom always says you have “child-bearing” hips, a comment that never fails to disgust you.
Your chest. You hate when people comment on it or acknowledged its existence at all. Bra shopping is a nightmare and necessary evil. Do most women feel like that?
Maybe. You doubt it.
You go by a man's name.
You wear men's clothes.
You look like a man…almost. From certain angles.
You want to look like a man.
That’s true. You do.
In here, at least, you can finally admit something. Only to yourself, and only for now, and only partially.
But you're maybe, kind of, at least 80% sure you're trans.
Fuck, you think. I'm screwed.
***
You come out to Nick in a McDonald's parking lot. It's oddly fitting.
Usually, you wouldn't do it all in one go. You'd test the waters first. Mention trans people in passing and see how the other person reacts. Maybe say a few things like ‘sometimes I just wish I was a guy, y'know?’
With most of your other friends, you could get away with that. They may be confused, they may side-eye you, but they wouldn't understand and they wouldn't confront you about it.
Nick isn't like that. He'd know, even if he didn't say anything. Better to just rip the bandaid off.
You wait until the others leave the car to pick up their orders. You and Nick stay behind like you always do.
You suck in a breath. Talking to Nick has always been easy. He's loud, you're loud—you accommodate, build off of each other. The silence feels unnatural in comparison to your usual easy banter.
“I think, um—” Your voice cracks and you cough. A strong start. You had a script but you're forgetting it. “I think I'm… probably not a woman.”
That's it. That's the closest you've gotten—that's all you know. ‘Probably not a woman’. Probably a man, but hey, there were other possibilities, and you just figured this out a few weeks ago so give yourself a break.
Nick is silent a second too long. You start to panic. “Like, I think I'm trans.” Your voice goes up at the end like it's a question.
It's not. You're certain. You made sure you were certain long before you came out.
“Thank you for telling me,” Nick says awkwardly. You nearly laugh; his floundering is oddly soothing. “Do the others—”
“No.” You shake your head. “No one else knows.”
“Oh, wow. Um… how long have you known?”
You think for a moment. “I guess I always have, even if I didn't have the words for it. But I didn't know for sure until a few weeks ago.”
“So… do you have a name picked out?”
You stare at him, confused. You can see the others exiting McDonald’s in the background. “What?”
“I mean,” Nick backpedals, puts up his hands like he's offended you, “Most trans people change their name, and no offense, but you don't don't really have a guy’s name, so I was just wondering—”
“I do, though,” you say. “The nickname you gave me.”
Nick says nothing, just sort of stares at you, and for some reason your face grows hot.
(He really does look good, you think, and wow this is such an inappropriate time to be having that thought.)
Then the others bang on the windows and demand to be let in, and the moment is ruined.
***
It gets worse before it gets better.
You decide not to come out to your parents until you absolutely have to. You do, however, come out to the rest of the friend group, and they're mostly accepting.
But it's not like you press a button and become a man overnight. Word gets around, and though no one says anything to your face, you hear them laugh behind your back. Some of your teachers who had been fine calling you by your nickname beforehand refuse to use it anymore.
You don't let it get to you. You give as good as you get. Still, as always, Nick is your biggest supporter. You don't know what you'd do without him.
***
You stay friends, but you fall out of touch.
It happens. You still text on birthdays, still congratulate him on his channel, still send each other memes on Instagram, but one day you blink and realize you haven't actually seen him in almost a year.
You've been busy. You have your own life, your own friends, but Nick is your best and oldest one. Always has been, and you're hoping always will be. So of course you text “hey, next time you're in Boston we should hang out or smth” and of course he agrees.
You suggest McDonald's, just for old time's sake, but Nick insists you go to an actual restaurant. He picks a more expensive one, and as you're trying to work out a polite way to say “thanks, but I'm way too poor for that”, he texts:
NICK: my treat btw
YOU: nah man you don't have to
YOU: but we might have to go somewhere cheaper sorry
NICK: it’s fine. i'll pay. i probs owe u hundreds from hs still lmao
YOU: true true
YOU: if you're sure
Nick never answers, which you assume means ‘yes’.
You show up almost half an hour early. You brought your wallet and you're prepared to put up a valiant fight for your fair share of the bill, bank account be damned.
You’re also anxious like you havent been since high school, probably. You don't know why. Nick's your friend, after all, even if you've drifted apart a bit. There's nothing to be anxious about.
Nick shows up ten minutes early.
Huh, you think, and then stop thinking.
At least you weren't completely blindsided this time. You knew what Nick looked like from his channel and his Insta, but he’s… different in person.
He’s even better. You don't think you're ugly (not anymore, at least), but you're no supermodel. Nick is, or he could be, definitely.
He hugs you, and when he leans back he looks you up and down and frowns. “You grew.”
You shrug. “Side effect of testosterone.”
“That makes you grow?”
“It can if you start it before twenty.” Your face grows hot. Here Nick is, some airbrushed God, and you're going through second puberty. You have acne. You have the little shitty mustache you used to mock boys for.
You have gained a few inches, though. Now you're about level with Nick’s chin instead of his chest. Makes hugs a bit more awkward.
Nick is still frowning at you. “Are these a side effect, too?” He squeezes your bicep before stepping back.
Your face burns even hotter. “Sort of. I work out.” You flex on instinct, and you swear Nick’s eyes follow the movement with just a little too much heat.
You must be hallucinating.
You expect the dinner to be awkward. And it is, at first, until Nick clears his throat and says, “I have a confession to make.”
You eye him warily. He seems serious. “What is it?”
Nick fidgets, avoiding your eyes. “You know the name I gave you?”
“Yeah?”
“The one that's now your legal name?”
“What about it?”
Nick covers his mouth with his hand. His shoulders shake with silent laughter. “It—” He wheezes. “It was my cousin’s pet turtle’s name!”
You gape.
And just like that, it's like nothing ever changed.
You burst into laughter. “I can't believe it,” you hiss. “And you never told me?”
“I was just listing off names I knew,” he says apologetically. “It could've been worse. You could've been named after my cousin.”
“Oh my god.” You cover your face with your hands. “Is that why Matt and Chris looked at me so weird when I told them?”
Nick starts laughing again. “Yeah. I'm sorry, man.”
You uncover your face and sigh, shaking your head. “Where are they, anyways?” You ask. “I thought they'd come with you.” Though now that you thought about it, Nick never said ‘we’ in his texts, only ‘I’. Huh.
“They wanted to say hi,” Nick says apologetically. “I made them stay home.”
“Why?”
To your surprise, Nick goes red.
It all clicks into place. The fancy restaurant. Nick’s insistence on paying. The fucking bicep squeeze.
You smile and lean forward. “Nick Sturniolo,” you say. “Is this a date?”
Nick, to his credit, recovers quickly. “If you want it to be,” he says softly. He actually meets your eyes and everything.
You meet his, too.
“I do.”
#nick sturniolo#nick sturniolo x male!reader#nick sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo x ftm!reader
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I often wonder if I would feel differently about The Staircase Scene if I had seen SAF when it first came out in 2016. The first time I saw it was probably around October or November of 2023, and like... the context is different now.
Whatever we want to say about the personal story arcs of these characters (and I know I'm in a tiny minority because, for me, killing Owen does not constitute a satisfying close to Curt's arc, that's totally fine), there is the very real issue of the sociopolitical context that this scene takes place within- both in their time (1961) and in ours.
One very cool thing about SAF is that, in order to understand these characters better, a lot of younger queer folks end up learning about the Lavender Scare, about Executive Order 10450- which officially prohibited gay people from working for the US government- for the first time. That's an incredible, precious thing to me. Yay queer history! It's important!
The show itself never addresses the fact that both the US and UK governments had very public, very brutal campaigns equating homosexuality with communism with being a traitor to your country. But if you want to understand these characters, and especially write fanfiction, you're really incentivized to teach yourself some fundamentally important aspects of queer history.
In the 54 Below concert, before singing Not So Bad, Brian Rosenthal talks about how when they were developing the show they thought N@zis were more or less a thing of the past, that they're fully aware of how differently that song might be taken now after an escalation into a more open embrace of fascism in the US. And they're absolutely right about that.
But I think that's also perhaps an issue with the staircase scene, or at least it is for me. Obviously homophobia and transphobia were not "fixed" in 2016, they were still massive problems resulting in violence and discrimination and brutality. But institutionally, at least, you could look at the situation and point to some things that were gradually getting better.
In 2016 trans youth in my state were legally allowed to receive gender affirming care. In 2024, they are not. It's not that homophobia and transphobia went away and then came back, but there was a very real resurgence of the use of the media and of governmental power to inflict pain on queer & trans people and chase them out of public life- bathroom bans, gender affirming care bans, Don't Say Gay laws, trying to make drag illegal, equating queer and trans people with pedophilia. There has been a big cultural shift back towards the same kind of violent governmental moral panic that our beloved Curt & Owen would have lived under.
Whatever we want to say about these characters and this story (and there's tons of fascinating debate there), there is still the base of a gay man killing his ex-lover ostensibly to protect US foreign policy objectives. Killing the man he loves- or loved, at least- to protect the secret that he is gay. And that hits different for me now.
I watch that scene and it is heartbreaking on a personal level, but its also heartbreaking as a queer person who just wants to scream "your government will destroy you for being gay, you don't owe them shit!"
Owen tries to explain that the surveillance network is happening, that the future won't wait for Curt to catch up. Barb has been saying she's working on the same thing for the US government the entire show, but Curt just kept ignoring her. And I just want to say "Curt, honey, what do you think your government is going to do to you with that surveillance system? Do you think you're useful enough to keep around even though you have sex with men? Because I promise you they will not care."
It feels tragic to me because on some level it seems like Curt would actually be safer with another gay man having control of all the world's secrets than he will be if the government he has dedicated his life to gets their hands on that same technology.
And the thing is, having a tragic ending doesn't make the show bad. This show is great. This scene is spectacular. It makes you think, it makes you feel things, it does all the stuff that great art is supposed to do. Absolutely none of what I'm saying here is meant to denigrate the show as a musical or a story or even a queer story. I hope it doesn't come off as me saying "actually this show is bad," because I don't feel that way at all.
Clearly I live and breathe this show. That's why I spend all my time on here analyzing every scene, every frame, every facial expression. I love this show so much that I can't help but deconstruct it and look at all its component parts- including the sociopolitical context both now and in 1961. Because that context, despite never being explicitly mentioned, is important to our understanding of these characters.
I love these characters so much that it's actually pretty difficult for me to watch A2P7 anymore, because the staircase scene is so emotionally devastating to me that it's hard to try to swing back into that more comedic tone (even though Spy Dance is a certified bop).
I'm not even sure what my point is with all of this, other than to say that Spies Are Forever is a show that is great and fun and funny as written/performed, and becomes gradually more emotionally devastating when you rewatch it or when you understand the subtext of it. When you can engage with the themes of gender and sexuality, surveillance and technology, trauma and trust, and tease out even more satisfying theories around this show.
So yeah. It's a musical. It's about spies.
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notifications disabled for this post. Send me any potential corrections through the asks or private messages.
I know i said I wouldn't do public angry rants anymore, but this is a nevessary rant. I ask you to read the entire text before interacting with the post (obviously)
stop misgendering gerard on purpose
you know very well what kind of person you sound like when you do that.
it's just lowkey comical (if not enraging) how some refer to them with the one pronoun they don't use, as far as I'm aware at least, but I've never seen anyone say they used all, only he/they, if I'm wrong you can tell me (but I'll need a RELIABLE source to what you say to make sure you're not just making shit up to have the right to disrespect someone without being rightfully scolded), so using "she" just makes you incredibly disrespectful. Like... you think a he/they can't wear a dress? you think a he/they can't show femininity? you think a he/they isn't allowed to not look like a straight cis guy all the time? You think just because someone doesn't use a male label then they automatically must be female and can't just be neither, or use no labels at all? You think a person can't be happy showing fenininity if they're not a woman? you think that's not possible? you think that's WRONG, perhaps? because THAT is what you sound like. Not only to me, but to many people that I've seen complaining inumerous times about this INSANE disrespect
following the same logic, do you think, for example, because I'm wearing makeup in most of my photos and don't fit in one particular binary gender, i don't have your permission to be a he/him and i have to be what YOU say i should be? because that's what you sound like when you do that
and i can already tell someone's gonna be butthurt and tell me I'm exaggerating so they don't have to feel shame for being a disrespectful little bitch. Gerard is a person, not a fucking character you can headcanon things about.
Not to mention that this kind of disrespect is one of the reasons why some masc or neutral trans people also feel extremely unsafe wanting to use or do things considered feminine, because look at how you're fucking treating a person that you don't even actually know. It's not 100% correlated (well... it is, a little bit) but don't even get me started on the shit my masc or neutral fellas have to go through because of people who very obviously also love to give them a hard time just because they don't fit in your "preferred gender label" and make them feel like shit for existing because you keep throwing them in the same pit as cishet men who fuck things up and say all of them are the same (newsflash, you're being just as oppressive as the cishet men). Like, I'm sorry (I'm not sorry) but most of you, if not all of you, are those exact same people, who do the exact same things and behave the same way, you're just doing it in different intensities. Just go fuck yourself already, seriously. I genuinely mean it with all my heart.
if I'm wrong about the he/they, do tell me and show me the reliable source so i can be sure that I'm actually wrong and can correct myself properly, but I'll most likely keep the post up since i also brought up another issue regarding this kind of disrespect.
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I don't understand, what's going on with Taylor and Matt trash being a couple? Could you explain to me?
nothing is really going on at the moment tbh, cuz they broke up a pretty long while ago, but the issue is the album (if that's what you're referring to) and taylor swift herself.
[will add sources and more stuff when I find the links and if I realise I missed something out, cuz this is a general thing based off of memory]
Context: dating history
Basically she and matty had been friends for a few years (there are rumors of them hooking up ig in 1989 era maybe, but I don't really care enough to believe shit like that). Apparently he had also been pining for her (according to stuff he said in interviews and tweets) for years, but again, you can still chalk it up to rumors if you wanna.
The thing is that post her breakup with joe alwyn, she started dating him (in like april I think) [there had been dating rumors of them since 2014 tho, and again in March 2023] and the fandom kinda got divided.
Here is the link to their entire timeline
Context: what matty healy did
Matty healy (you prolly know this) is basically racist, sexist, antisemitic, homophobic and God knows what else I have missed out or not been aware of. He did shit like doing the nazi gesture on stage, mocking asian accents, tastelessly making fun of ice spice on her race and bodyshaming her, laughing and basically confirming that he watches violent rape porn of black women on a site that is known to be highly problematic and force their actors (gender neutral) to do things they dont consent to (there was also an actress who was assaulted or something but im not informed on it). Even when he was called out on stuff like this, he accused people (who were poc, btw) of overreacting.
Context: taylor and activism
Taylor had also, in the past (lover era, and miss Americana the doc) had talked about how she had been too quiet about political issues and politics itself for too long, that she understands her influence and power in society, and that she "needs to be on the right side of history" and even specifics such as that she thinks it's spineless to go on stage and say "happy pride month" and not acknowledge the political oppression that queers in USA were facing (something about a bill or the republican party idk man I'm not american, i dont remember but i did research when i watched the doc tho). She has claimed she was gonna be clear about where she stands (many republicans had considered her to be one, and many thought she's conservative or something, but she was always quiet about it, until the lover era). However, she just stopped that activism after the lover era, and went back to being quiet on where she stands (I've seen many swifties refer to the lover era as the activism era) and hasn't spoken about anything substantial really. She did some things like post a black square with 13 hearts during blm, and stuff that every celeb who wasn't openly a pos did, but that's kinda it. Even as a self proclaimed feminist, she didn't speak up on issues such as roe v wade, or about an issue regarding drag queens despite having them in yntcd, or talking about trans/queer rights until she was in a blue state (im not an American, I just like to keep up a little with stuff in usa cuz it's always up in my face sadly, and thus i cant be specific, but anyways, correct me if I'm wrong, or if I missed something).
So even after saying she'll be vocal, she was just... not. And that's basically her on politics or giving a shit about minority communities.
Context: Fandom's reaction
Swifties were extremely disappointed that taylor CHOSE to associate with a man like this, and there were fans calling her out, and she received backlash, too.
Most of these swifties were poc (myself included) and they felt hurt that an artist that they not just supported and developed such a deep connection with, but also financially supported for years, would have such disregard for them. Not just was she dating him, but she kept saying things such as "I have never been happier in all aspects of my life" or saying "I love you" or "uk who you are" in romantic songs on the tour, which was just adding insult to injury. She also did a collab with ice spice (which was completely out of nowhere, and the collab itself seemed badly made and rushed), which fans and others speculated to be a pr cover up for the fact that matty healy had mocked her (many ppl also believed that it was too quick for it to be a pr cover tho).
Now, in the fandom, when poc swifties were calling her out on dating mh, (mostly) white swifties started harassing poc swifties for doing so, or saying that they are hindering with her happiness or some bs about it being "just a fling" (again, myself included). They said it's the same as seeing a friend get out of a long-term relationship and make bad dating choices, and poc swifties should let it go (as if taylor is our close personal friend). In a mostly white fandom, poc swifties felt alienated and sidelined.
Ofc, taylor never addressed any of this backlash, and after she broke up with him, there were articles saying that sources say (which mostly means her pr team atp) that her breakup had nothing to do with his controversies or behavior.
The album release (lyrics, references and reaction)
Now, with the release of ttpd, contrary to what most of the fandom believed, most of the songs on both the albums are believed to be (and heavily hinted on) about matty healy. These include 4 songs- "ttpd", "but daddy I love him", "I can fix him (no really I can)", and "guilty as sin?"
Ttpd, the title track, talks about mh being "a tattooed golden retriever" (wtf) and about him love-bombing her, and her pining after him, thinking about marriage and shit. But daddy I love him and I can fix him, are basically that no one supported her dating decision and she's claiming that she loves him oh so goddamn much, but more importantly, her talking about her fans' reactions. Specifically, describing her poc fans to be "vipers" and "judgemental creeps" who hate her and them being hurt as "bitching and moaning", and basically took the side of the (white) fans who defended her, indirectly. She described his racist bs as "crazy" and said shit like she could "handle a dangerous man." She also has another song, "Guilty as sin?" and while I genuinely don't give a fuck about what she chooses to do in her private life, unless it is problematic, it is about her fantasizing about being with that racist man while being in a long term relationship with joe alwyn. She sings about how she wants him and wants to be with him... in multiple ways, iykyk. Again, out of context, I love this song so much, but that doesn't erase the context, right?
She also has a song "I hate it here" where she says the following lines:
"My friends used to play a game where
We would pick a decade
We wished we could live in instead of this
I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid"
And while there are many reasons why this line by itself is racist (romantisization of a time that was extremely shitty to many communities, most of which she is not a part of, showing herself to be "oh look I'm so woke I still remember the bad things even when I romanticize bad eras in history" which is something you expect from an ignorant white high schooler maybe, not a 34 y/o billionaire who claims to be well-read, etc.) but taylor swift herself saying these is adding insult to injury cuz she has shown time and time again she has no problem with racism (she kept quiet when antonia gentry, a black actress, received hate and racist threats by swifties because of a line BY NETFLIX that taylor didn't like, and she shouldn't ofc, but it wasn't the actress' fault), or associating herself with them (matty healy, for example). It is hypocritical to write something like that after writing an album about pining after a man and his "dangerousness," which is just bigotry. Way to romanticise racism, sexism, and antisemitism, taylor.
Even now, after listening to the album, she clearly doesn't like mh anymore, NOT because of his actions, but because he broke her heart, showing that she still enables and is okay with everything he did.
And that's kind of it (ig) about her and matty healy. I'm not really sure exactly which part you wanted to know, so this is just a gist of it all. Hope it helps :)
#taylor swift#matty healy#anti matty healy#the 1975#joe alwyn#ts ttpd#ttpd era#taylor swift ttpd#ttpd spoilers#ttpd anthology#ttpd analysis#ttpd album#ttpd lyrics#ttpd release#ttpd reaction#ttpd review#ttpd speculation#ttpd tracklist#ttpd the anthology#ttpd taylor swift#ttpd theories#ttpd thoughts#ttpd#the tortured poets department#taylor nation#taylornation#swifties#anti taylor swift#taylor swift critical#asks
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Can I request Russia x reader? Ivan loves PDA and his S/O looks small and not dangerous. But one day S/O beats the shit out of Alfred because he made fun of Ivan's PDA.
hetalia with a small s/o who stands up for him
1.0k words ~ gender neutral headcanons + scenario
tw: swearing, alfred is a dick
a/n: ivan i vlove you sosososoosos much . did u guys know that hes my favouritest boy in all the lands????
A small and adorable S/O is exactly what Ivan wants in a partner!
He's very aware of how ironic it is that you two are together, and he can't help but find it a little entertaining at least. Normally, he pretends he doesn't though. He'd never admit it unless it was in a completely concealed joke.
You always come with him everywhere. Sometimes it's because he wants to show you off, sometimes it's because he wants you to lose it and go off on people. Every time you defend him, his heart nearly bursts out of his chest (It has done that before. Physically. It was horrifying) with love and adoration.
It just means the world to him that you think he's worth standing up for. Almost no one has ever done that for him before.
So obviously, he's very protective of you in return. Especially considering how people treat you as well, he's thrown a couple of people out of places (Again, physically) for you before.
He knows that you can defend yourself, but you're just so small and delicate! Like an adorable woodland critter! And if you got hurt under his watch, he could never forgive himself.
Also, yes, Ivan would LOOOVE PDA.
Even at the most inappropriate of times. He doesn't have any social awareness at the best of times, but when he sees you, his single shred of shame goes flying out the window.
As shy as he may be, he's not shy with you. Besides, when he’s affectionate, he gets to show the rest of his friends how much his S/O loves him <3 which is always a priority.
As soon as you two arrived at the G8 afterparty, you knew it was going to turn bad. A bunch of thousand-year-old men with a million issues with each other, getting drunk at some random American bar? Well, what could go wrong? That's what Ivan asked, at least. But really you were asking yourself, what could go right?
Yao wasted no time in calling you over, and Alfred wasted no time getting shitfaced. How they let him drink that much when he looked barely 21 and had an ID with a moustache drawn on it, you'll never know.
As you watched him begin hounding the bartender to play something more “patriotic,” Francis nudged you in the side.
”Just like his father, eh?“ He commented, causing you and Ivan to chuckle lightly.
That chaos continued for hours, with the two of you eventually joining in on the drinking. The tab that the 9 of you racked up must've been the budget of all of New York, but that's what government pensions are for, right? Besides, it's not often the group could get along without tearing each other apart. Might as well enjoy yourselves.
Well, enjoy yourselves for the most part. Because the moment Alfred dared to say a single thing about holding down his drink, Ivan of course had to challenge him. Despite the pleas of everyone around them, their boyish pride was not swayed in the slightest.
Alfred didn't last long. To everyone else that was inevitable, but it seems the young man didn't appreciate being outdone.
”Well, of course, you won! All you people do is drink!“ He slurred, holding onto the table for support as he approached Ivan, who didn't seem to care about the American's taunts.
”I do plenty of things, Alfred.“
”Yeah, like make your entire family hate you?“ Ivan's smile didn't falter, but he visibly tensed.
”Funny, I believe I could say the same thing to you!“
”I don't need my family, that's why I don't hang out with those weird Europeans! But you? Ever since your sisters abandoned you, your- your life has been a trainwreck!” He exclaims, breaking into laughter.
Ivan's smile faltered, and the air in the room became cold. The other nations turned to face the two, fearing the worst already.
“Don't say these things, you know they are not true,” His eyes flicker to you for a moment.
“If that's true, name a single thing that's gone well for you in the last 10- no, fuck, 30 years!”
“Simple, my lovely partner-”
“Yeah, your partner who you spend every waking moment being gross with!”
Ivan failed to respond to that, his cheeks turning just the slightest bit pink.
“It’s almost like you’re trying to prove that they love you. Which like-” He started laughing again, “We all know you’re just paying them to date y-”
Alfred's speech was cut off as you launched your fist directly into his face.
He pulled back, looking at you in absolute disbelief. When he held a hand to his face again, he found it wet with blood leaking from his nose.
“You-” He started to say.
“Stop being an ass to my boyfriend”
Alfred's drunken face contorted in rage, standing up and immediately towering over you.
“How- You’re so little- Wh-���
“OK! That's enough everyone! Let's go home now!” Ludwig forced both of you to step back, frantically trying to diffuse the situation.
“Yeah- I- I have to go as well...” Francis added, looking between you and Alfred in panic.
“M-Me too…” Japan sputtered out, already packing his bags.
-
As you and Ivan rode the metro to return to your shared hotel room, you sat in silence. At first, you thought it was because he was upset. With you? With Alfred's comments? You'd learned it was better not to ask.
At least, that's what you thought until you noticed the smile plastered on his face. Despite that, he failed to say barely anything the entire time.
That was until you two stepped onto the station platform, when he turned to you and said softly, “Thank you, my dear.”
“For... punching your friend?”
”Of course. What else?“
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LAST TIME ON MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS: THE RETURN: Depressed milf Kim just got finished traumadumping onto Trini's relative Selena about all the shit that happened on the Moon 22 years ago, just to find out that this wasn't Trini's relative at all, but some mysterious white-haired witch out for revenge???? I guess it makes sense it would never be the simpler option. MMPR: The Return #3!
= So here's the reveal of the dialogue that was blacked out in the previews! Selena Repulsa, the daughter of Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd, is official! There's something very funny about the fact that she didn't even use a fake name for her Kwan family disguise. She heard Sylvia had an S name and was like sweet, I can just play the alliteration card
= I mentioned before in the first issue that this series was already discussing the topic of secret identities in a more nuanced way than the main series' "Zordon is a tyrant for having rules" strategy so I'm happy that's being continued here. YES public use of the powers can be used for good in society but ALSO it can make it really, really, REALLY easy for your enemies to pick you off the street
= also UNCLE HOWARD SPOTTED
= YEAH BABY
= Selena is hilarious btw. YOU BUILT A BOMB AND ARE SURPRISED IT KILLED PEOPLE?
= this is Dungeon Meshi
= I already made the Paul Dano does he know?.png joke but I can't help it. It's too perfect. Alternatively: Kimberly Hart Dreamworks Face
= Zedd is noticeably less involved in this story than Rita is (as per the usual with BOOM books, admittedly) but I do like how this plan still uses him in some way. Part of me is still curious as to what Dad Zedd would have been like, though
= she's meditating, guys
she's died
= he was literally born to be a girl dad and the fact that his "main universe" child is a son makes me fucking sick
= also off-subject but I see the occasional comment about how the civilian forms for these flashbacks look too young and it's like.....guys. They're only 22. If anything, drawing them like how they looked on the show is ACCURATE to their age, considering how old the actors themselves were when they were on the show kjdkfjdkfjd and anyway Dino Thunder lied to you. Tommy would absolutely be wearing tank tops as an adult. Those long sleeves were the devil's work
= I still say I don't want to get attached to any theory about Tommy and whether or not he'll end up alive but Rita seeming to be aware that he saved her daughter and getting his attention before doing the spell...........that's probably going to be important
= You guys don't understand how much I need the scene where Tommy and Kim discovered she was pregnant and the conversations they had afterwards. Every "ranger kid" story has been so bad about "what does the parent think about their kids one day inheriting their ranger powers" and The Return is the one closest to understanding this is a very logical and rational conversation to have!!!!!!!
= also Olivia was 100% unplanned this i just the vibe i get. And props to my gender-inclusive king Tommy Oliver
= "no more Power Rangers.......except my daughter who's COOL as FUCK"
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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/728886929370857472/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic728767139305
Agree with this. I mean I’m an academic who in grad school was often in discussions with people who were Terminally Online, but the dumb ways they applied tumblr discourse in class were usually the least of their problems (as in they were often awful people in their ACTIONS outside of class. That said I’ll never forget the person, who was not a gay or bisexual man himself but was a straight trans man who acted like that identity meant he could speak for the entire LGBTQ community based on stuff he read on Tumblr and never doing the actual class reading, claiming that the way Wayne Koestenbaum described gay man’s attachment to female opera divas in The Queen’s Throat had “consent issues.” This was a guy who later got investigated by Title IX for graphically discussing his sex life with other grad students, including female TAs when he was a student instructor).
But I think where I saw the most obnoxious and insidious ways that Tumblr discourse shit infected irl academic discourse was you’d have some older academic who wasn’t super online but cared a lot about social justice and wanting to do the right thing, and would hear about some concept third hand and think it sounded good and not have the broader context a regular Tumblr, Twitter, etc. person would have to know why it wasn’t, or that the person behind it was abusive or didn’t really know their stuff (I’m thinking about stuff like Medieval POC being promoted by academics who just liked the idea of highlighting more instances of POC in pre-modern European history, didn’t know that the person behind it was a racefaker with a history of deeply racist statements, and weren’t specifically art historians or really digging all that deep into her posts to know that she was getting some basic stuff wrong). My frustration a lot as a grad student who is familiar with Tumblr, and with the feminist blogosphere of the late 00s/early 10s before it where a lot of “Tumblr social justice” first developed, was trying to explain that there were people within that culture who were pro-SJ and feminist and antiracist and so on, and from marginalized groups themselves, who had legitimate objections to these concepts being applied to academia that didn’t come from unfamiliarity or “college students just need to grow up” style thinking that you saw in Jonathan Chait style thinkpieces.
For instance, I objected to and continue to object to “mandatory trigger warnings” because I’ve read about and seen in action how they’re often used by students to box in female and POC faculty — already disproportionately hurt by student evaluations — for not running their class or discussing issues of race, gender, etc. in a way that perfectly fits their ideas from Online Discourse. They’re harder on us for this than similar white male faculty, especially older ones, and older white male allies need to be more aware of this when they extrapolate from their own experiences. (Also students IME will get way angrier if a film by or about marginalized people is “triggering” even though it’s impossible to show some aspects of systemic misogyny or racism on screen without doing that — think movies like Do the Right Thing — than they will a similarly “triggering” film by and about white dudes that has no larger Social Point to Make with its triggering content. And I say this as someone who always gives students a heads up beforehand, but some really think that those movies shouldn’t be shown AT ALL and I’m increasingly getting students asking me to accommodate trigger warning requests for vague Tumblr stuff like “unreality” and I’m so tired.)
Thanks for letting me rant about “Tumblr SJ” and academia in your inbox lol
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batgirl 2000 reread pt 2!!!
Back 2 batgirl..Cass has to have some of the worst daddy issues in the whole family and that's saying so much like between Bruce and Cain she deserves billions of dollars in compensation for all the all the way fucked up and over shit they put her through that she doesn't even have the capacity to work through yet
also this little interaction made me smile, average bat conversation
obsessed w how they integrate cass into the Bruce wayne: murderer storyline. We're operating fully from cass's perspective here and the whole thing is formatted like any other case she's taken on. we get exposition as cass investigates but there's a feeling of uneasiness as she paces the manor. she fully doesn't know who this guy is but we do. we do.
truly one of the most iconic ways anyones ever figured out his identity. she knows him so deeply that she's able to recognize the pure unbridled determination and fury in his eyes just from a picture
Cassandra cain truly stays unmatched, the "I'll kill you" "not tonight" panel hits just as hard as when I first read it. I need a physical copy of this shit NEOWWW. also cass's ability to recognize that Shiva is just as suicidal as she is, that in fighting each other their both fulfilling the others death wish..like we know she isn't going to kill her from the start but it makes the decision all the more powerful
EEEK she's so cutest patootest..she's a detective
cass if projecting onto every case she dealt with was a job..
srsly tho the whole alpha arc thing was sooo good especially when it came to cass's immovable belief that even people with the most diabolical histories are capable of change, are worth saving
ermmm..the lawyers are advising me not to discuss the stephcass drama issue at this current time..thank you
idk how I missed the political commentary the first time but issue 43 got it. FAWK AMERICA
I love this comic I LOVE THIS COMIC!!! I love love love when Cass has a conversation that leads her to experiment which leads her to self discovery. oh my god. truly baffled and disgusted as she discovers gender roles, she just like me fr
THIS^^^^^^ is so, it's such a good way of broadcasting cass's insecurities and emotions to the audience. unlike a lot of characters cass rarely ever says what she's feeling, even when asked she'll often lie. it's either that or a lack of self awareness/means of communication when it comes to her own emotions. BUT this also shows that cass is aware of the complex interpersonal dynamics and drama around her. Usually these things are just implied like when Cass wordlessly punches the shit out of dick for making babs cry, but this is one of the first times in the comic where these things that cass had been feeling and hearing are told instead of shown [which is pretty 50/50 considering the kinda jarring writer switch but I think this specifically was a cool choice]
Cass has a tendency to avoid emotional topics centered around her all together but at the climax of this arc she's forced to confront very conflicting views of her identity, social pressures, and her own insecurities.
this part got to me BAD
Cass's pure and utter devastation in response to Bruce attempting to fire her (I say attempt bcs that shit barely lasted a day) is so gutwrenching. batgirl was the first name she ever had, the first identity as a human being she'd ever had. Not to mention her suicidal-perfectionism. For Batman of all people to say those things to her, not only does she not have anything outside of batgirl (partially BECAUSE of him) but she's literally as close to perfect as it gets, matter a fact bruce literally calls her perfect. To be accused of jeopardizing the mission, despite that she might be the only person who values it just as much as bruce does..No wonder she shatters into a billion pieces when he does that to her. she has nothing else to be if she's not batgirl.
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the barbie movie like. ok so [spoilers and long paragraphs under the cut]
yeah it was really basic ideologically it didnt cover all the various intersections and theories of feminism but i think when people saw conservatives flipping their shit people expected it to be like, a manifesto. its a film, and more importantly, it's the Barbie Movie. i think expecting a gender and womens studies class from it would be silly, and while i get why people are disappointed in how much sympathy it lends to the men in the movie, i dont think like, once again, that was ever something to not expect?
furthermore on that point i think showing misogyny from a place of defining the self around a sense of loneliness by men isn't...far off. theres never an excuse for misogyny but thats rhetoric that radicalizes a lot of incels and shit i would rather that than they treat it like some mysterious miasma.
also, i think, once again while it was pretty basic in the ideas it presented... how often is it show that explicitly in broad-audience film? like stated directly to the audience in that manner? theres no flirting with the feminist theory in the movie; it says it outright, which is something a lot of films shy away from out of fear of alienating men once it becomes too "girl power"-y. im not usually for the use of a lot of buzzwords in film and discussion of issues but these buzzwords are never said with cheapness or to obfuscate. it could be heavyhanded at times, but that heavyhandedness wasnt ever really obnoxious? it walked the line of "haha silly" but still took its point seriously enough that you could appreciate the use of that heavyhandedness for comedic effect without being mocked
i also think the fact they just like "solve" the patriarchy in the barbie world isnt meant to imply that you can just fix the real world with a woman president or by being aware of misogyny. in fact a lot of the movie is dedicated to showing how the barbie world and real world are different. the conclusion of the movie is that barbie wants to become human, even though the human world is messy and unsolved and nothing like she assumed it was. she believed barbie had solved misogyny forever, which is a direct jab at the idea that any "one thing" or "girl power" movement can just suddenly whisk away the very power structures that created that sort of oppression.
its very much coming from a cis/heterosexual/white basis. they flirt with further intersection but dont commit, which im really not a fan of. my friends after the film were like "it was more homoerotic than i expected haha" and...yeah, it was, but it didnt do anything to address gayness or what that means in such a heavily gendered heterosexual society. you could read that subtext through allen and his thing.... but allen is a joke. his story is never resolved. hes one of the guys but he isnt, hes one of the girls but he isnt, he benefits not at all from "kendom" but conversely is not oppressed the way the barbies are and vice versa. he's just allen, and the only allen there is. when sasha and her mom want to go back to help barbie, the fact he just goes "God im never getting out of here" and thats just like, left was kinda. well. it was something for sure.
still. i know i just wrote like 200 words on the ideology of this movie but first and foremost its a pg13 comedy meant to be shown to broad audiences in theaters for money. its meant to be an enjoyable watch, and it is! its a gorgeous film, its funny, the songs are fine, and the way it makes its side comments arent distracting nor meanspirited. it knows when to take itself seriously, and i like that. i was actually expecting it to be a general audiences like, kids movie i was so fucking surprised when barbie said penis.
i also think saying the line at the end about the gynecologist is like "saying you need a vagina to be a real woman" is disingenuous honestly. one its meant to be a bit of a shock quip to get a giggle but two i think a lot of people who need gynecological care (which can include trans women) are afraid when it comes to that first visit and finally sitting down and talking about those areas because of the shame and lack of proper education. maybe its bc i grew up mormon but i dont think its meant to imply thats what MADE barbie a real woman or that its fundamental to being one.
once again it definitely isnt a perfect movie. i think the way the ken and barbie talk happened at the end was still a bit coddly and the scope of the ideology underneath the movie was, once again, still very much centered in white cishetero society and thought with only passing mentions of intersectionality that felt both shallow and (especially with the gayness and racial dynamics) occasionally like it was being turned into a joke
still all in all it was a pretty good movie. weird barbie #1. allen get behind me i will protect u
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What’s your opinion on transfemme hunter + lumity polycule, without willow. Or maybe lavender winter with Gus. Asking cause I really like your thoughts on these things?
i'll be real i love both. the thing about me is that i will enjoy any poly configuration of friends, especially ones that play with gender and sexuality. i've seen more controversy with both of these than even with lavender winter, though, which makes me cautious in how i talk about them. because i am constantly aware that a large part of this fandom has High Standards for when ships are Unproblematic (TM) and i'm like...... i think i interact with media differently than you do. please don't eat me.
anyway with the hexsquad i've seen gus described as "guy in the polycule who's not dating anyone, he's just there" similarly to lilith in any constellation of the adults, which is fine and fun. i also think that once they're older, though, he does not Have to be? i get squicked out by interpretations of gus that are like "he's hunter and willow's baby" because uhhhhh. there are Several Episodes completely dedicated to why that is 1) not true, and 2) a disservice to him.
there's an assumption that anyone who polyships hexsquad wants a 12-year-old to date a 16-year-old but like. i've already said i think lavender winter would figure their shit out later in life. if gus joins the polycule when everyone's in their mid-to-late twenties then the age gap Does Not Fucking Matter.
but like. i know that's controversial. these characters aren't real people and i don't know why ppl are still following me if they have an issue with Problematic Content given some of what i've written about hunter and/or princess luz, so. i shouldn't be anxious about stating this. i've just been thru some shit in past fandoms so i'm always expecting the worst. Be Nice To Me.
as for lumiter with transfem hunter, i similarly love it, and that's precisely Because i'm a dyke with a lot of transfem acquaintances i'd be into in a heartbeat. like join my polycule. i am not exaggerating when i say that every "cis guy" i had a crush on in high school (who i thought could maybe save me from my gayness) later transitioned. or that all the things i found fun and attractive about them turned up 100000x percent once they felt comfortable presenting as women.
like sexuality is fluid and i'd still be a lesbian even if i'd crushed on cis guys who were still cis guys. but it makes me laugh. and hunter is one of those characters who can easily be trans in any direction, and i Love Transfem Hunter So Much.
i do still want willow in there though. like if i have a choice between lumiter with willow and lumiter without willow i'll pick willow every time. by itself, tho, still a Great Triad. a+. very clearly something i'd be happy to write.
i guess the takeaway here is that shipping "rules" don't matter so much to me now that i'm in my late 20s and know what i'm about and know why i like things or don't like things. and the other takeaway is that i'll ship Anything that i find cute or interesting. i like transposing my experiences to the media i consume! this is how most people do fandom!
#i just happen to have controversial experiences re gender sexuality aroaceness and polyamory#i'm not mainstream gay enough to feel seen by all the mainstream gay pairings. i have to make it more queer#this has historically made many people very mad and been widely considered a bad idea#replies#toh#toh fambly#long post#i'm considering making this unrebloggable that's how fuckin worried i am. be nice. if anyone clowns i'll start biting
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While I normally don't read them, the thing that really gets to me are the gender swap(specifically Izuku only) or transgender character(normally Izuku as well), and how often these traits are used a props for angst or for porn scenes. Now I am fine with transgender and nonbinary people IRL, it's something about how the subject matter is used in fiction, that negatively affects the experience. While I am aware of the fact that Japanese is beginning to open up on these idea and that MHA takes place in a future version of modern Japan, which wouldn't bat an eye at transgendered characters as we do have a canonical transmale hero with the Wild Pussycat, there's just something more off about when Izuku is the subject character.
Now I am aware that gender swapping characters are likely one of the most common tropes used and is likely one of the first of types of fics a new writer would write about. I'm wondering if it's because of the combination with Izuku being Quirkless, that it combines ableism/disability with sexism/transphobia. Now yes, these are topics that need to be talked about and fiction is a good way to experiment on the writer's knowledge on these topics, it's another thing to go to the "stay in the house" idea or to make Izuku a prop in order to praise Bakugo, since female Izuku x Bakugo(or vice versa) is a common pairing. This isn't even going into the Omegaverse, which probably has its origins based off of a combination of transgenderism, that one redacted study on wolf hierarchy(where the author redo and investigated even more), and wanting to justify MPreg.
So I’m not really going to touch the trans/non-binary fanfics because it’s not my place to talk about them. I do agree that in canon, people wouldn’t really bat an eye to a trans and/or non-binary person, but I feel that those fics are made for the author to talk about trans/non binary issues, hence why the world’s more aggressive to them in these fics. It’s them writing their own experiences through fiction if that makes any sense and I have no place to criticize what they do in those fics.
For the gender swap, I actually have a fic that co-stars a female Izuku. Why did I make Izuku female? It’s to prove a point. A lot of people shit on Izuku for being overly emotional and that he should’ve stood up to Katsuki sooner. I feel that there’s a lot of sexism around these ideas and honestly feel that if Izuku was female, then no one would really have these claims and that Katsuki would be seen in a negative light. However, I do know that a good chunk of fics that star a female Izuku are mainly porn fics and are used as a means to write a straight BkDk story which has Izuku simply exist to be a prop for Katsuki. As someone who is a shipper, I like it when my ships are mutually beneficial to both parties rather than having one person be a prop or prize for the other and agree with what you’ve said there.
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That poll is so hard to vote for cause on one hand, it feels like Tiff would fit the best because of her incredibly unreliable narration matching Ted's while it would still be a subversion of the original because of the reason why she's unreliable(rose tinted glasses and extreme devotion to BE as opposed to the stuff Ted's got going on) and her pov on and relationship with BE would just be so fun to see explored and the horror of the situation being a subtle thing thats swept under the rug could be so cool.
But on the other, Evan would also kinda match with the original due to his open emotional distance and disconnect from the girls, AND it would bring a lot of fun, fresh stuff! Seems like Evan is the one who pays most attention to AM, and seeing what's happening there from his pov would be so interesting! He, just like Ellen if she would've narrated could bring up how things like being the only one of the opposite sex and gender in the group and (from what we know from the short story at least) only dark skinned person would like.. idk change perspectives on things?? I'd also love to find out more about him!
Oh, not to mention Naomi!! Having narration that is pretty damn reliable would make worldbuilding and exploration much easier and she's also got that disconnect due to her age and crystal clear memory, being able to see things as they are and were could be really refreshing in a ihnmaims universe and i really want to know what her whole deal is! Being born toward the end of the war must've made quite a difference to how a person would process everything, Ted's whole "I'm youngest so my experience is different because i barely had time to live as an adult before the nukes" wouldn't have shit on someone who wasn't even like... done w puberty.
Ooooh they'd all make for such fun narrators 😭 It's really too bad that writing takes so much time and effort or it would've been amazing to see all three's povs! I still don't know what to vote for or how the results are looking so far but im really looking forward to seeing what the results will lead to!
Maybe you have a character you have the most ideas for or would like to write most? Cause if so, that'd def help me choose what to vote.
Sorry for the wall of text(would you believe me if i said i wanted to write more? This is me trying to show restraint, didn't even write about the potential AM could have as a narrator), and i hope you have a good day!
Okay so first off, I love-love-love this response. You have such fun perspectives on these silly little au characters of mine and it makes me a little sad that you didn’t write anymore cause I definitely would have read it, especially what you were thinking about what an interesting narrator AM could be.
As to which character I have the most ideas for, is such a difficult thing to answer cause well I have so-so many. But I do want to put them out there for you so here they are:
Tiffany: narration wise, I imagine the stuff she says can and does come across as nonsensical and border line trigger happy, however sometimes she occasionally lets something slip that clues into her true feelings and that a part of her may indeed be aware of the gravity of the groups situation, however she shuts it down as she has severe attachment issues and cannot fathom how she could possibly survive without BE. Another thing I pictured is that she very often quotes the bible and other religious texts, as BE doesn’t present herself as machine and genuinely as a divine entity. I also have been toying with a scene similar to the one in the radio drama, where AM is talking to Ted about bumblebees and getting high r something. Where it is set up as the reverse. BE showing Tiff the horrors of what the radiation and world has come to (in a way that is seriously deceptive) and claiming that all she has to do is snap her fingers for it to return. It would definitely read as a story where there is total tonal whiplash from one scene to the next, so that is something to consider.
Evan: I have come up with so many pasts for all these survivors before they were “rescued” by BE, however one thing to note is that I don’t really think of these characters as just “genderbent versions of the originals”. Evan is one of the key examples of this, as in this au he is technically the original Ellen’s older brother, however he left home when she was around 12-13ish, as he didn’t like the life, college and job his family set out and tried to push him into. Unlike Ellen who was a successful engineer, who may have been a hopeless romantic based on the original text. Evan was and very much still is kind of a massive party animal. I picture him very punk but like the old kind of punk. Like he was the kind of guy to go motorcycling around the country (even into war-devastated bits, cause it was a thrill), he went to underground clubs and concerts, and sure as heck slept around and had no shame in it (both women and men if you are curious). He doesn’t want to get sentimental, he wants to live his life on the edge and BE doesn’t allow that. He constantly tries to upset her, get some kind of intense reaction from her. He tries to escape, he kicks and tries to tear open parts of her internal network. This man has tried to kill Gloria (Gloria kind of deserves it thou) and the only reactions he gets from BE is her finding him cute, amusing, or as if he just needs to be put in a corner to calm down for a bit. Truthfully he is someone who just wants to go back and experience life again, recognising that BE’s utopia isn’t living and refusing to buy into it.
Naomi: I won’t lie, Nimdok is so boring in the og story, and they definitely tried to do “something” with him in the game. I don’t like it, again different ramble. So like Evan, she is a different person. Like you said she has barely started puberty and because of BE neither her body or even her mind has really aged in anyway and she is horribly aware of this. Due to the war she has had her childhood taken from her, but now because of BE she shall never experience adulthood or growing up. Her memory hardly anything particularly helpful. She remembers exactly what BE did to the others when they first got brought to the compound, she has seen what goes down in the labs, she knows what pills are and aren’t sleeping pills, developing a habit where she will pretend to take one and spit it out if she is able to. As stated in the survivors master post, she knows BE’s blind spots and will often go there on her own. Not really to do anything, just kind of sit around. Further more, she and Evan have a way of communicating, number of blinks, which fingers moved when you spoke to them, that kind of stuff. Still she doesn’t want to escape, she knows she’ll die if she does, generally she acts more like a mediator in the group. As a narrator, I did have this idea for a few odd habits she has learned over the years. Example is that she constantly counting, time and routine is import to her, as she notices when something is wrong and that freaks her out. She also has this habit of just staring at the others for very long periods of time, especially Gloria. She clearly remembers seeing her on tv during her old life, and also remembers how she attacked her when Naomi attempted to mention it to Gloria.
Writing does take so much effort, especially for me, cause truthfully I’m always jumping back and forth on what I’m working on. On top of this au and the fic, I’m also in the process of finishing the final script and sketches for a different web comic I’ve been planning for a while, as well as a completely unrelated world building project that I’ve been at for two years now. Anyhow!! Tell me more please
#i have no mouth and i must scream#ihnmaims#am ihnmaims#ted ihnmaims#ihnmaimsloveau#alternate reality#harlan ellison#ellen ihnmaims#ihnmaims am#allied mastercomputer#small artist#horror#fanfiction#ao3 writer
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Hi I love you @my-cursed-brain (if you want me to tag your alt in the future just lmk bc. I will probably split this into different posts just for the sake of organization)
Anyways!! Regarding the Dance AU, I'll give you a little bit of bg information first.
Night Raven Dance Academy is a prestigious school with availability for anyone from the middle class tax bracket right on up to royalty, but the difficulty and the quality of the lessons are dependent on your financial standing. (For example, Vil, Neige, Leona, Riddle - they all have the best teachers NRDA has to offer, with a rigorous training schedule and their academics are less of a priority than dance is in terms of personal goals, and are done via asynchronous classes to accommodate for their schedule. Ace, Deuce, Vizzie (OC), are still in a pretty intense dance program, but they still have their normal classes to attend in person). NRDA is divided by floors based on where you're going for classes.
Now for Neige, Riddle and Vil. They are the queen bees, studying specifically ballet. Since Leona took a temporary leave from the academy after a dance related accident, the three of them have been competing to be the top dancer at the school. They've got a "Mean Girls" sort of dynamic going, where they treat each other like enemies as much as they treat each other like friends. Part of this is because they've known each other since middle school. Part of this is the (mostly) friendly competition between them. Part of this is the Gender Envy.
Neige is openly gender fluid, with supportive (adoptive) parents. This somewhat irks Vil, not just the self expression and the support, but it seems to give Neige more flexibility as their instructor knows Neige is comfortable playing either a typically female OR male lead, resulting in Neige being picked over Vil for leads often, never due to skill, only due to the comfort level the instructor has been made aware of. However he has major imposter syndrome and nobody he can talk to about it because he knows Vil and Riddle will kind of tear him apart, but his parents don't really acknowledge his issues, just telling him he's perfect and he knows its not true.
Vil can't say he wants the female lead. He has considered coming out to his father as trans, but overheard a conversation his dad had with Riddle's mom, and realized the moment he told his father he would be disowned, his reputation would be ruined, and his dance career would be over. So he stays quiet, silently seething as Neige gets the glory he wishes he had.
Riddle is afab in this universe. She is in denial about being trans, as she knows her mother would not be supportive, which has severely impacted her motivation and passion for dance. Everything just Feels Wrong, and when she looks at Vil and Neige she wonders why she feels a sense of loss or like something's missing. So her performance hasn't been as good as it has in the past, leading to more issues and one-sided conversations from her mother, and empty promises that she'll try to do better but she really doesn't know what's wrong. Her mental health starts to wear on her quite a bit, but Vil and Neige pick up on it eventually.
There will be a day, eventually, in which the three of them are able to really talk to each other and sort their shit but it takes A While to get there.
wheeee thank you for asking about it I love talking about worldbuilding and stuff and its a great reward for when I finish chunks of hw so I really appreciate it in that way too lmao
#v talks#twst#twisted wonderland#twst hcs#twst headcanons#my aus#dance au#twst dance au#riddle rosehearts#vil schoenheit#neige leblanche#dance au riddle#dance au vil#dance au neige
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The reason why gender is such a mess in IDW is mainly because of Simon Furman stubbornly refusing to let go of his old Marvel G1 belief that the Transformers should be a genderless masculine presenting race. Which, I'm sorry Furman, but you can't put that genie back in the bottle. The girls exist, and it doesn't do you any favors to throw a tantrum and do weird shit with Acree's origin every time Hasbro forces you to write her.
Oh I’m acutely aware, I was there at ground zero, but my problem in IDW was less Furman, though he didn’t help by introducing Arcee as the result of a forced gender reassignment procedure, it was the countless retcons and asterisks other writers felt compelled to fix and only made it WORSE. It would’ve simply been better to just let Arcee’s trans roots be ignored and instead focus on having her become a better character, something IDW did at least attempt but I don’t know if they succeeded.
Like to Furman’s credit, the comical Prime’s Rib at least still showed Arcee to be strong, smart, and capable (what the feminists in story CLAIM they wanted), with most of the humor being Prime trying to appease stereotypical feminists and only making them angrier because they could only see Arcee just being pink and having an interest in men (because she did show an interest in Hot Rod). As much as some don’t want to hear it, the story aged all too well because of the current hyper political environment we’re stuck in now, with even stuff like IDW and EarthSpark being somewhat the result of appeasing radical groups rather than being entertaining to all ages and groups. And IDW lost the license, and EarthSpark had failed on all fronts, only sticking around out of a weak desire on Hasbro’s part to have something on for the 40th anniversary. They’ve otherwise moved on to TFONE and Arcee in Skybound is having a much better time.
I do think Furman may have let it go though, he wrote the Terrans just fine in EarthSpark’s tie in video game, and the tangibly related to Transformers in concept, Astrobots, that he writes, features several main female robots who are strong, capable and smart. Their origins in their race not being dwelled on beyond some handwaved human involvement if I recall correctly.
I do understand his confusion, why do a race of robotic beings who don’t sexually reproduce need females in THAT context, but having them in general doesn’t seem to be an issue beyond that to him. The problem remains is he dwelled on it too long, explained it in a jokey way in Marvel UK that honestly was pry the best way to explain it back then in THAT universe, then tried to explain it in a cooler sci-fi way in IDW and got backlash from EVERYONE that it seemed to have humbled him enough.
That said, some ideas are still clung to via Earth Wars, where he gleefully makes fun of both Dreamwave & IDW, and kinda rightfully so in SOME areas. Deathsaurus, with the threat of being sent to Dreamwave’s universe, is horrified at the idea (probably didn’t want to be drawn by Pat Lee among other things). The Prime’s Rib story having a spiritual successor where the Autobots find Melody has written romantic fan fiction about Drift & Prowl, and while they say as a species they don’t romantically pair off and poke holes at the Conjux terminology they don’t even have, they don’t really have too much of an issue with what Melody was doing. If anything they were more confused why she paired Drift with Prowl, and then playfully teased a clueless Prowl about it. Melody is also the main Autobot ally in the game and she and the Autobots get along just fine too.
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