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#like how october usually is for some random reason
lerildeal · 2 months
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doodles for a game I haven’t played in over 5 years 😔
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for realsies
#HELLO IM VENTING AGAIN IM SO SORRY#i am sick of everything the usual but i just need some fucking therapy and my diagnosises are taking too long because the system is shit#over here and i feel like i am a literal walking disaster a hazard to myself are my meds even working anymore idk? someone needs to lock me#in a fucking wardrobe before i loose my shit and do something stupid as fuck at least im self aware ok were growing this is called growth#wow ok amazing spectacular#like tonight ive decided i hate everyone again i want to quit uni actually might do it this time i just applied for a random job for no#reason i have a job but if i have 2 then i can over work myself to the max so i dont have to go into uni#i have three weeks off so now im cutting everyone off who knows how long this episode is gonna last for#i am loosing my god damn mind i do not want to do anything everything is so hard why is everyone so pressuring#i stopped doing some of my stupid habbits but now im just going full circle again so im thriving rn live love laugh am i right guys or what#AND WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A THERPAIST WHO CONTACTS ME ITS BEEN SINCE OCTOBER U FUCKING BITCH GO FUCK URSELF#anyway im in huge amounts of pain too idk what i do in my sleep or something but my shoulders hurt so bad#i hate wet tags on clothes when they stick to you throws up actually#i had stale fucking garlic bread today and i want to move out but if i move out then things will get worse for me#why cant i maintain a normal friendship without loosing my mind and hating everyone i mean no one knows my friends are pretty good with me#they understand but i dont know#ive come to the conclusion that i am just a shit
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euphorix-moon · 7 months
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Teach Me How to Love
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Ellie x Fem!Reader
Wc:1k
Synopsis: Ellie had never been one to show physical affection to other people but, when she meets you she tries to fulfill her newfound wish of showing you physical love
A/n: First post of October is a fluffy one !
Ellie had never been one to show affection often to other people .
It wasn’t that she didn’t love her friends; she did. She just never felt the need to show them through physical gestures like the rest of them seemed to need. It wasn’t that different when she was dating, so maybe that was one of the reasons Ellie never had a relationship that lasted that long. That and, of course, the fact that she had never properly fallen in love. She didn't know why, but for some reason, it was hard for her to click with other girls.
So, when Ellie met you through mutual friends, she was more than a little worried.
In Ellie's eyes, you were a ball of sunshine. You were always smiling, always happy, and always showing his love to others through soft touches. Even on the rare occasions where Ellie caught you in a bad mood, you always tried your best to remain optimistic. After some time, though, you soon noticed Ellie was not that open with the rest, so you kept your distance, finding other ways to show your care. You gave her gifts, sent her memes, called to ask if she was okay, and even sat in silence next to her just because.
The thing was: You were different from Ellie. Ellie couldn’t explain, even if she wanted to; all she knew was how much she enjoyed being near you and how she felt like she would give you the world if you asked for it. She just wanted you to be happy and smiley all the time, chatting loudly and hopping around.
But Ellie didn’t know how to show you that. She wasn’t sure how to approach you and tell you that she'd marry you right away if you accepted, of course. She wasn’t sure how to explain why she wanted to give you the whole universe, how she felt like her life was colorful now that you were in it, and how she fell deeper in love with you every time she saw you smile.
The closest she got to it was when you guys went out for a drink with a group of friends.
You were a lightweight, even more touchy when you were tipsy. You weren't completely intoxicated, per se, but you were clearly not sober. Your hands were roaming around Ellie's body, mostly caressing her back and tracing up and down on her arms. At some point, she leaned in, her face close enough to smell your sweet breath from the random drinks you chose. Although Ellie was glad to have been that close to you that night, she looks back on that night with embarrassment.
 *****
She wasn’t sure how the rest happened.
Well, that wouldn’t be the truth. Ellie remembered each second, from the first heated and hushed kiss you guys shared until the way they fell into your bed, not long after. She remembered each inch of your body, each sweet sound you made, and each small touch you left on her body. She remembered everything about that night.
She thought it would be a one-time thing, but interestingly, it went on for a couple of months, both of you ending up in each other's beds and not discussing it.
Neither of you were really sure where you guys stood at this point.You guys had also started to spend even more time together, even when they weren’t naked and making out. The worst part wasn’t even the lack of communication, but the feeling that you were still trying to keep the physical distance between the two of you.
That’s why Ellie was startled when she was in her kitchen, drinking some juice, and felt arms wrapping around her torso. You allowed her to turn around, facing you expectantly.
“What is this?” Ellie asked, placing a hand on the other’s shoulder. She felt so small in your arms, in the best way possible.
“This is me showing you love.” You declared confidently.
“Disgusting.” Ellie blurted out, almost by instinct, as she usually did when all her friends started to get too touchy with her.
Your face remained expressionless as you took a step back, your arms letting go of the other’s body. The lack of warmth made Ellie frown. It was way more comfortable to be held by you. She wasn’t sure if her answer was supposed to be a joke or if it had simply been an accident because she panicked, but she knew she didn’t mean for the touch to go away.
 
"Wait....I didn't tell you to stop. To be honest i like the way that felt”
That caused you to search for something on her face, still unsure. The small pout on Ellie’s lips made you snort before pulling her in again, arms around the frame and face hiding in your neck. It felt different, but in a way that Ellie wouldn’t mind getting used to.
“You can do it more," she said. “You know, anytime you want to.”
"Els, if it were up to me, I’d live wrapped around you all the time.” told her, using the nickname you came up with at some point.
“I wouldn't mind it at all to be honest," she argued. “You could do it all the time, if you wanted.”
You pulled away just enough to maintain eye contact, your arms still around Ellie. “Yeah? Like, I’m your girlfriend."
“Yeah, because, you know, I wouldn’t mind that either,” she admitted, with some uncertainty. She knew she wasn’t that good with words, but she needed them at the moment.
“You wouldn’t mind it, or do you want me as a girlfriend?” You asked in a teasing tone, but there was some fondness in your smile. “Those are two different things.”
“I want it. I want you as my girlfriend," Ellie assured you, her eyes scanning your face and smiling as well as showing excitement and happiness.
 
“Good. Because I’d love to be your girlfriend, Els.” You declared, letting go of Ellie’s waist to cup her face and pull her closer. “Now kiss me, please.”
“To show you love.” Ellie added, making you laugh before swallowing down the chuckles in kisses.
A/n: As always hope you guys enjoyed and feedback is appreciated!
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mybuckynotyours · 1 year
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Printesa Mea
Pairing: sugardaddy!Bucky x fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ only. Reader is in her early twenties and Bucky is in his mid 40s. Mentions of sex, oral sex, mutual pinning, cockwarming if you squint your eyes hard enough.
Word Count: 1.9k
Summary & A/N: I suck at summaries but this is fluffy, cute but also naughty-ish! It's the Christmas season and I've been finally inspired! I'm having a huge daddy kink at the moment too. If this will be received well, I might write more about these two! I have a few more ideas up in my sleeve. Thank you so much for reading! Do not forget to comment and reblog :) <3
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You were nearing the end of this semester and that only meant one thing. Christmas was fast approaching. This semester was always the one you dreaded and wanted it to end as quickly as possible. You were a Christmas lover through and through. By mid-October you would be thinking of all the Christmas lights and all the food you’ll get to enjoy with your friends. Your friends would laugh at you during the yearly Halloween party and tell you to slow down. You would just happily grin and shrug it off.
But this year was a little different that usual. This year were with someone, well, not exactly. You weren’t exactly dating him. It was more of an arrangement really that started just before you had gone back to university.
It was truly random how the two of you met. You weren’t really looking for a sugar daddy but it seems that your deepest, dirtiest wish came true without even working for it.
You two met on a Sunday morning when you were on your latte run, about to head home to kickstart your day for the usual meal preps and reading.
Your eyes met and you smiled at each other politely. For some reason, probably how the universe wanted to really bring the two of you closer together, you couldn’t keep your eyes off each other. You looked away as you stood next to each other waiting for your coffee orders and laughed lightly.
He was the first to speak as he reached out to take his coffee cup and with a deep voice, thanked the barista. Hearing him speak sent shivers down your spine and the effect is still there to this day. He speaks so calmly yet stern when he needs to be. You were on your knees for him in no time.
But before, going into that, you two got to know each other. He shamelessly asked you before he headed out of the coffee shop and you immediately accepted his invitation. And as they say, the rest was history.
You had told yourself that this was only an arrangement. You had to segregate your feelings. In no way you could ever possibly end up falling for him. He was your sugar daddy and only that. No matter how good it felt when he ate you out all night long just to draw out his name from your whimpering lips. No matter how great it felt to spend a night in watching a movie together and eat together. And especially, no matter how incredible it felt to get all dolled up to some event he would make you attend with him, just to be on his arm, twirling you around on the dance floor, having your princess moment. He truly did treat you like a princess. Indeed, he liked to call you one too.
“Printesa mea.” His warm velvety voice hovering over your skin. He would then place soft gentle kisses on your shoulder blade and then another on your neck.
His beard would tickle you, causing you to giggle like a little girl. “People are watching.”
“Don’t care.” He would shrug you off, then kiss your warm cheek.
Then you would bid your adieu to the party guests and head to his mansion where he would fuck you till the sun would rise. He was insatiable – the way his body moved, like a god really, a tight grip on your hips as his cock would stretch you out. And my goodness he was big. You could feel all of him as your walls would clench around his length, hissing at that first stretch.
He’d always look at you with a tinge of concern at first, breathlessly asking for your approval and for your wellbeing. As soon as you would smile up to him and give him a sign to continue, he would transform into a beast – thrusting in to you to the hilt, groaning and panting in the crook of your neck as he would come inside you. Fuck, that warmth was everything – both your fluids as you’d come together at times, the product of your pleasures to one another. You enjoyed it trickling down your thighs. It was satisfying on so many levels.
Back to the present moment, you had to press your legs together and stop yourself from thinking of all your debaucheries with Bucky.
He was paying your school debts and in return you got to enjoy all that. But that was it. You couldn’t let your mind wander as if you were a girl in love.
“It’s probably the holidays that’s making me feel like this.” You mumbled to yourself.
But really, you knew yourself better. After the million Christmas movies you’d watch every year, your one true wish was to meet the same guy all the women in the movies met. No matter how much you laughed at these cheesy movies, you loved it and you’d wish for one day to live that impossible fairy tale. Nothing was as in the movies and you knew that but damn, Bucky was something else. It was like, he did come straight out that kind of movie and with Christmas coming you, you couldn’t help but wonder whether you’ll have that happily ever after with Bucky.
You two did establish what you both wanted from this arrangement. He was looking for someone like you and well, despite you not exactly looking for someone like him, you really needed the help financially. Bucky was perfect to provide just that. A bit of sex would not hurt right? We’re two consenting adults! That’s what the two of you had agreed upon over a cheese platter and the best wine you had ever tasted. Bucky had a thing for the finer things in life. He certainly maintained high standards and quality. His demeanour oozed with those qualities. Always dressed up in a three piece suit, looking sharp and refined, he was someone you actually started to admire. You only wished you were as confident as he were. He knew that about you as he always tested and pushed your limits which resulted in you becoming much more comfortable in your own skin and you started doing things that you didn’t think you’d actually ever start doing. Bucky was not only an incredible lover but also an incredible mentor.
As your infatuating thoughts ran on, Bucky walked into the cafeteria you were in. It took you by surprise as you spotted him heading your way. You weren’t meant to see each other, not at least till he would call you. You wanted to throw yourself at him, just wrap yourself into his black coat and never leave him. Oh that would be wonderful…if only.
“Printesa mea! How great seeing you here today!” His face broke into a wide smile at you as he extended his arms to wrap them around you.
His musky, strong smell filled up your nostrils and made you tremble with need already. You loved to smell his cologne and you loved having it on you.
He chuckled as he realised that you were sniffing. “Awh, missing too much.”
You rolled your eyes at his cheekiness and withdrew away from his embrace – it was painful but you had to anyway.
“What are you doing here? I wanted to call you later to ask you something. Glad I can do it in person now.” He sat down across you and took your hands into his, his thumb brushing your knuckles gently.
“Oh?” You giggled softly then composed yourself with a sigh. “Well, I’m trying to finish off this last assignment before the holiday season comes up. It’s my favourite month and I want to enjoy it as much as I can with few uni distractions. Thankfully classes are ending soon as well.”
“A Christmas lover, I see…well, I’ve figured I guess.” He squeezed your hand as he chuckled once again.
“How on earth would you know that about me?” You laughed in disbelief with him.
“I just do. And it suits you really. I love the way your eyes light up when you’re excited about something. Your positive energy and your Christmas energy just go hand in hand, I guess? If this makes sense.” He squinted his eyes with a shrug.
“Alright, yeah, I guess I can take that.” You chuckled once again, not forgetting the way he spoke about you in a certain way. He clearly notices you.
“Anyway, I know that this might be farfetched or something but I was wondering whether you wanted to spend Christmas together? I mean, I know you’ve got your friends but you never really spoke about your family and I would understand if you’d want to go visit them...but I don’t know and well…”
…well what?” You teased slightly but your heart was ready to jump out of your sweater, your palms were sweating and Bucky realised that too as he looked down at your hands.
“I mean, I know that this is not…you know, us, conventional and all that but I don’t really have anyone…I…you know, I’m only seeing you so I just thought we could be together you know? For the holidays? I’ll give you more money and I’ll take you Christmas shopping too.”
You had never seen Bucky the way he were right now in front of you. He was rambling, fidgeting his long legs and you were certain that he was looking past you as he was speaking. He was avoiding eye contact with you because he was feeling uncomfortable. What was he truly trying to say?  Why the sudden change in appearance?
“Um, okay. I would like that Buck.” You wanted to scream from the top of your lungs. Aside from the fact that Bucky was feeling uncomfortable or nervous or whatever you were happily screaming inside. This was turning into a reality – you were having your chick flick, Christmas movie moment. You were getting to spend Christmas with the man that you were yearning for. The man that made you feel so many things all at once.
“Really?” His nervous look turned into relief as he leaned back in his seat as if he finally got something out of his chest.
“But why were you rambling about it? I mean, you know I have no issues at all with wanting to spend time with you, even during Christmas. My family is complicated and one day I will tell you all about it. Otherwise, I’m happy to be with you, you know…” You trailed off, now the one feeling somewhat nervous but also proud of yourself for being direct. Bucky was really rubbing off on you.
“I know, I’m sorry. I do not know what came over me.” He shook his head as a light laugh passed from his lips. “You’re a beautiful woman, printesa mea, and I didn’t think you’d want to spend the festive season with an old man like me.” He said running his fingers through his cottonlike dark hair.
His words took you by surprise, but you wanted to hide it and for some reason you were feeling cheeky quite quickly as you came up with quite the comeback, “Daddy, I promise you that I’m really going to enjoy myself with you.”
You couldn’t wait to jump onto his lap and have your way with him. Maybe he could fuck you with your Santa hat on or with your merry Christmas dress on…you’ll have to get it for him for sure. Oh…all the fun that you two will be having is going to be endless.
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queers-gambit · 2 years
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Angel is the Centerfold
prompt: insecurity runs deep when Eddie's secret lady-love finds the worn pages of a centerfold - marked on a woman who looks nothing like her.
pairing: Eddie Munson x female!cheerleader!reader
fandom masterlist: Stranger Things
note: you ever just get overwhelmed and wanna dip off for a week because you need to recharge your battery? reader's actually able to do that here - lucky ducky.
word count: 2.7k
warnings: cursing (when isn't there), insecurity, small angst, comfort ending i guess.
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Let's be honest, high school wasn't easy on anyone. Sure, some people could slip through the cracks while remaining unnoticed, unseen, unheard, and never bothered. Others weren't as lucky but it wasn't as bad or pressured as some other lives in high school.
I wasn't gonna make excuses for the other jocks but I found life just flowed a little simpler if I nestled myself securely on the outskirts of social circles.
I was once lead in the spring musical last year and liked to keep up with my drama friends; I was voted in as class president in October; pitcher on the softball team; might've even found myself on the cheerleading squad.
Did it make sense? Probably not to others.
But for the way my mind liked to race, keeping extra busy with a plethora of friends was easier. I was never in one 'crowd' and could hop around freely to my choosing; occasionally even hopping over to the Hellfire Club on a few random days.
Those were the conversations I was most animated in.
These guys never gave a fuck and liked pushing creative envelopes. So, they wouldn't push me about my home life but sure as shit pushed me into whether or not I thought Luke Skywalker was hot or not. Gareth was running a very important poll and it was vital I give them my honest opinion on the Jedi.
If I wanted, I usually had a seat at Hellfire, too. I couldn't make every game and usually my character was someone fleeting due to my busy schedule... But it was how I came to really get to know Eddie Munson better. He was the Dungeon Master and was always willing to hang for an extra hour to go over some details about the campaign or game.
If I didn't understand something, he was breaking it down for me. He teased me, sure, but never made me feel lesser-than for not grasping a concept completely.
It could've been the reason we started hanging out at his trailer.
Maybe it was also because life was finally catching up to me and overwhelming me in a tsunami wave of stress, and I needed an escape.
Either way, one moment, I'm content being a busy little bee, and the next, I'm crying my eyes out at Eddie Munson's trailer as a roach smoldered in a glass ashtray between us.
It became something of a regular occurrence for us. Sometimes, I ran into his Uncle Wayne on his way out to work and other times, it was nearly pitch black when I arrived. But Eddie was always welcoming; never complaining when I'd burrow into one of his hoodies for comfort; content to roll a joint and let the pair of us rant about our weekly worries.
I guess he got sick of hearing me complain so much because one evening, perhaps while rambling, Eddie leaned forward and seared his lips on mine. He made some comment about shutting me up like this from now on before pressing his tongue into my mouth and commandeering every known thought I had.
It worked... For the first couple months.
It was nice to feel like I had something private, 100% for myself. Nobody knew that Eddie Munson was the guy I spent my free time with; they didn't need to know I started blowing them off in favor of him. They didn't know how we would lay in his bed, fucking, talking, laughing, smoking; they never needed to know how he whispered sweet nothings in my ear, and like a fool, how I ate it up.
It was private. Eddie was private.
Stolen glances in the hallway, a few kisses in empty classrooms.
But then... It turned a little repetitive.
Once, I'd met him in the woods (per his request) and when I arrived 'early', he was in the midst of another deal. Waving me off as "another customer that can wait", he turned to the boy in front of him and all but basically ignored me.
I knew we weren't public, but damn, right?
And there was the time when my Mom's car tire blew and she couldn't pick me up from softball practice... But Hellfire had just let out and when I asked Eddie for a ride home, he chuckled, "I would, princess, but I don't think I could fit your reputation in my van."
I get there were some other people around when I asked, but shit.
Oh! And there was that other time when he and I went to the corner store for a few snacks and his arm was securely around my shoulders. It was about 12:30 in the morning on a Saturday, and sure, not many people were out but a few had come in after us... And Eddie had dropped his arm so quick, you would've thought he was burned.
He had waited until they were gone before letting us pay together and leave...
It was starting to feel more and more like Eddie was ashamed of me. Like he didn't want to be seen with me... Like he couldn't stomach the idea of people knowing he was into me - or I was into him.
None the less, the idea started to gnaw at my mind because I couldn't begin to understand what was so wrong about... Well, me.
Eddie had called that night and asked if I was down for a movie and joint, claiming he had picked up my favorite candy at the store today and needed my company to break into it. I had agreed with the thought that maybe I'd just gently broach the subject; just ask in earnest if there was something about me he was ashamed of or not.
"Hey, sweetheart," Eddie panted when he opened the door for me, instantly leading me through his trailer, "I'm so sorry, I lost track of time. You mind hanging tight so I can hop a quick shower?"
"Oh, yeah, no problem," I assured, nodding with a small smile.
"Thanks, doll," he whispered, kissing my cheek, "be just a minute."
I nodded absently and watched him go, looking around his room and finding it only mildly messy today. I sat on his bed and rubbed my hands together, trying to think of the best way to ask him what was up, when suddenly, my eyes caught sight of a dog-eared magazine peaking out from under a pair of boxers in front of Eddie's bedside stand. Curiosity burned my stomach and I let the tip of my show gingerly toe the boxers to the side and cocked my head to get a better look.
Only... I almost wish I hadn't.
The woman in the worn-centerfold was outstandingly gorgeous and her curves were natural. You could say I was staring but there's a way you can tell - and that woman, staring up at me, was 100% natural. She was something lethally beautiful with sculptured thighs and a taunt stomach; defining outlines running along her curves.
Picture perfect.
An angel in the centerfold.
Her hair was even perfectly cascading around her, maybe akin to a halo that draped off her thin, highlighted shoulders. Reaching up to feel my own, I couldn’t help but scoff and drop my hand instantly as even our fucking hair was stark opposite one another.
I felt my mouth dry as I took note of her breasts and how they spilled from her lace bra before darting my eyes down to skim her body and land on the smooth, hairless cunt peaking out from a pair of pure white crotchless panties. Taking a sobering breath, I realized everything about her was in some way, shape, or form the exact opposite of me.
Insecurity reared its ugly head and made me question if this was the reason Eddie didn't want to be seen with me. If this was why he didn't want to commit; to date me; to let others know... Because I was wrong. I was all wrong in his mind - this woman with the perfect natural body was a reflection of what he thought was ideal.
His idea of what he wanted.
And it was the literal opposite of me.
Feeling sick, I let my foot jerk to push the boxers back over and stood nervously from his bed. The room was about to collapse on me and a ringing started in my ears, forcing my feet to move or else I'd break down in sobs right there.
Pausing at the cracked bathroom door, I knocked and called, "Hey, Eddie, I forgot my aunt's coming to town and I have to help my mom. I'll just call you later, okay?"
Praying to God my voice remained steady, I waited as Eddie mulled over my words. "A-Are you sure, sweetheart? I didn't get to see you much this week. We can always just watch a movie, or something?"
"I'm sure, I'll just call you later. Bye," I called, not leaving room for argument.
"O-Okay, call me when you get home! Bye! Drive safe!" Eddie called over the sounds of his shower; my feet surging to get me as far from the trailer park as possible.
Call it childish but I didn't call Eddie. I just didn't really have it in me to entertain a conversation where I wasn't okay. In fact, I didn't really have it in me to do anything that week. So, I took mercy on myself and canceled all of my obligations - only going to classes, and then straight home, where I remained alone in my room as my mother worked nightshifts at the hospital this week.
And at lunch, I just hung out in the SGA room where I made up for the work I'd miss from all my canceled after-school meetings.
So, it was easy to avoid everyone. Easy peasy.
Nobody seemed to notice because of how thin I constantly stretched myself, but my self esteem took a major blow that I wasn't really looking to actively heal and wanted a little peace to myself. So I made myself extra scarce by faking a really bad period so nobody would question me too much.
Turns out, maybe Eddie noticed my flighty behavior. I didn't know it, but after school on Wednesday, he caught Chrissy's elbow and ducked into an empty classroom to ask her what was up with me.
The head cheerleader assured him I was just feeling a little under the weather, not putting too much thought into why he seemed so worried. She knew you two were friends and figured he thought I was sick, not realizing he was actually trying to understand why I had blown everything (and one) off this week.
After school Friday, Eddie had enough and loaded into his van after clocking my absence at practice again. Not that he was paying attention (he totally was), but I'd missed the whole week, and he knew that wasn't normal.
So, when he showed up at my door, imagine his shock to see me answer it in my pajamas.
"Eddie," I felt my eyes widen, trying to subtly close the thick cardigan I was wearing around my leggings and tank top. "Uh, did I forget something in History?"
"Funny enough, you did."
"Oh."
"Yeah," he breathed, "see, by my observations, you've been blowing everyone off this week, and can mean you've forgotten your friends."
I scoffed, "No, not entirely."
"Yes, entirely," he repeated. "What's going on with you?"
"Nothing."
"Bullshit," he shook his head. "You've not been in the cafeteria all week, you haven't been doing the morning announcements, you haven't shown up at Hellfire, or SGA, or cheer, or any of your other orgs - the hell's up with you?"
"Oh, I uh... Didn't think anyone really realized," I admitted quietly.
"When you move as quick as you do and then come to a screeching halt, yeah," he chuckled, "a few people notice. So, again, what's wrong?"
"It's literally nothing."
"So, why're you blowing me off too?"
"I'm not."
"You're standing pretty defensively in your doorway," he pointed out softly. "Am I... Like, am I not welcome anymore?" His question caught me off guard because I wasn’t sure how to answer it. My silence was enough of an answer as he whimpered, "Oh, shit, wait, what'd I do, sweetheart?"
"You didn't do anything."
"Well, obviously I did if - "
"No," I sniffled, cutting him off, "that's what's wrong, you just... You never did anything."
"Okay, darlin', I'm confused," he paused. "What didn't I do?"
"You... You were always ashamed of me, never wanted to be seen with me, or let people know we were hanging out. I get we weren't dating, but you never asked me to be your girlfriend, either. So, yeah, you didn't do anything... And then I just... I found something that confirmed I'm nothing like what you want. So, maybe you're not welcome here anymore because I don't think I was ever welcome in your life."
"Sweetheart, how can you say that?" Eddie asked in confusion. "I'm ashamed of you? No, that's the farthest from the truth! Where is this - I don’t understand.”
"C’mon, Eddie. You literally run the other way when it comes to even seeing me in public," I pointed out. "If you're ashamed, that's one thing. If you just don't want to be in a relationship, that's another. But I don't think you really want to be with me, so, let's just cut our losses."
"What the hell could you have seen that made you think I don't want you?" he scoffed. "Darlin', I just - I'm not very good at this shit, okay? And I'm the Freak, remember? You're gonna take more of a social hit dating me than I will - I just wanted to try and protect you from the ridicule coming your way for even being seen with me."
"Then that's my decision to make," I shrugged.
"You're right," he agreed. "And I'll let you make that decision on your own, but that's if you even want to be with me. 'Cause apparently you've found something that's so Earth-shattering, it's making you think I don't want you. Darlin', I worship you, okay? So whatever it is, I promise it’s not what you think.”
"Then why... Why don't I look like them?"
"What?" He asked. "Like who, doll?"
"I know it’s stupid but… The women you look at in magazines, okay? The women you fantasize about - those women. Why don't they and I look alike?"
Eddie looked gobsmacked for a moment but recovered quickly, speaking softly but strongly, “Because they're exactly that, pretty girl, a fantasy. Nothing like the real thing," he smiled at me. "And for whatever it's worth, I look at a variety of things, so, the odds of you lookin' like one of the women I look at... Are actually pretty high."
"Eddie - "
"No, I'm serious," he smirked, "'cause I just think about you most of the time. Those women might get me started but it's the thought of you that takes me out, hmm?"
"Oh, my God," I couldn't help but laugh, "okay, okay, you've made your point.”
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I guess I just got a little in my head.”
"So, why're you home instead of at practice? You’re always over thinkin’ something, why’s your head all in a twist?”
"Well, you, Munson, put my head in a twist pretty consistently. And for the record, it started as an insecure week that required a lot of self-care."
"Well, what's on the agenda for tonight?"
"Um, gonna paint my nails and watch a few movies?"
"Got room for one more?" He pouted dramatically. "Missed you this whole week, and I barely got to see you last week, too."
"I think I could squeeze you in somewhere," I smiled with a nod, opening my arms to let him step over the threshold and into my embrace. Against his chest, I spoke, "If I didn't want to be with you, Munson, I wouldn't be. So, don't go worrying about protecting my reputation, because I'm only concerned with my happiness - and you make me pretty damn happy.”
I felt Eddie's arms tighten and his lips press to the top of my head, "Good plan, baby. And I'm only concerned with your happiness, as well."
"All right, kiss-ass, you’re already invited in. Don’t gotta lay it on too thick.”
“Oh, so, I don’t have to offer to paint your toes?”
I paused, letting my chin press to his chest as he smirked down at me. “Well now, wait a minute…”
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osleeplessflowero · 7 months
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Day 1: Decorating + Pumpkin Carving🎃
You wake up in your bed a liiiittle bit too early, but once you remember that it's now officially October, you couldn't bring yourself to go back to sleep.
Since the universe decided to wake you up on its own, you're gonna make it everyone's problem.
You get up from the bed, changing into your clothes for the day and immediately walking to Killer's room, knocking on the door for a bit before it opens to reveal a just-woken-up Killer, rubbing his eyesockets.
"huh- what- what's going on- did nightmare need us to go out or something-"
"Good morning, Killer-"
"oh, hey. so what's the reason for waking me up?"
"It's October- We must decorate for Halloween!"
"..this early?"
"Yes, this early. We should decorate the castle before everyone wakes up to surprise them. And you were the first person I could think of to join me." 
"...can we set up pranks for everyone-"
"Yes, Killer- But they have to be on theme, remember that."
"i can work with that. okay, let me change-"
You wait outside his door as he changes into his usual attire, before walking out of his room and spinning his knife around.
"where to first?"
You eagerly grab his hand and run to your room, grabbing a few boxes of decorations you've been saving since you started living at the castle. 
"we're probably gonna need more than that-"
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Now hold this." You hand him a fake spider web, moving the boxes out into the hall.
He simply chuckles and walks out after you, leaning back a bit before jumping up and hanging the spider web along the wall.
You take some smaller props and place them around, like small obviously-fake spiders in the most random places you could think of.
"what are the pumpkins for? like these are real."
"We're gonna carve them, obviously-"
"you still carve pumpkins?"
"Uh, obviously- come on, it could be fun. And I'm sure you'd be able to carve one with ease considering your skills."
Killer looks at his knife before looking back to you.
"yeah, alright. just let me move 'em before they get smashed or something."
You look through the box, putting up some mini (properly clothed) skeletons. (If they weren't, that'd certainly be scandalous..)
Killer takes some more of the spider web material, hanging it around Dust's doorway and taking some mini spiders from you, placing them in it. 
"How's this one gonna work?"
"simple. opens the door, face-to-face with spiders in a tired state. let the chaos commence."
"I like it-"
You take some toilet paper and throw it around, jumping up and trying to make sure it stays in place, dangling above the two of you. You tend to fall a few times until Killer just uses his magic to lift you up via your soul, which makes things easier. Once you've hung it up properly, you give him a thumbs up, and he puts you down to grab something else. 
You dim the lights in the halls, hanging up some pumpkin lights once Killer lifts you again, illuminating the hallways with a calm orange glow. A nice contrast to the usual color. 
You place some bats above the skeletons' doors as Killer sets up a can of silly string to go off in front of Horror's.
You pour out some fake blood under your door, putting some caution tape around it for both the effect and so no one steps in it while it dries. 
"Oh, I missed a bat- Killer, help me-"
"again?" 
"Yes."
He lifts you up. 
"where?"
"Nightmare's door."
"you got a death wish?"
"Might. It'd be fun-"
"if you say so." He lifts you over to Nightmare's door, and you carefully hang the bat above it. The door to his room is fairly big, so it's difficult to reach the top without assistance. 
As you carefully adjust the bat, Nightmare's door opens and you pull your knees up. 
"The hell's going on out here?" He observes the decorations you've placed. 
Killer, having not been paying attention, is startled and loses focus, letting go of his hold on your soul. 
You fall down with a surprised scream, before Nightmare catches you in his arms. 
"Morning, Night. Nice save." You smile at him before he puts you down. 
"Morning. Now answer my question."
"We're decorating for Halloween since it's October. So far we've only decorated this hallway, but we're gonna move to the other spaces." 
"Isn't it awfully early for something like that?"
"It's never too early."
"If you say so. Just don't decorate my office, I like keeping it clean."
"you've got it, boss-" 
"ah fuck- KILLER-"
"oh hey, dust woke up-"
"I didn't think you enjoyed Halloween this much." Nightmare turns to you.
"Halloween's super fun! Eating candy, dressing up in costumes, decorating, watching horror movies, carving pumpkins- there's lots you can do."
"Hmm..fair enough. Well, just keep doing what you're doing, I'll allow it as long as it doesn't mess up my work."
"You got it." You give him a mock salute as he makes his way to the kitchen to get some coffee.
"i thought he wouldn't like it."
"Same-"
Dust walks out of his room after cutting down the webs around his doorway, stepping out.
"like that one, dust? i put a lot of work into it."
"not your best work."
"oh COME ON-" 
Horror exits shortly after, unfazed by the amount of silly string that just shot all over him. 
"oh..is it halloween? did i miss a couple of days?" He puts his head up to the side of his skull that doesn't have a crack in it. 
"No no, it's only the first of October, Horror. You're good." 
"oh, good. can i help you?" He looks at you specifically, ignoring the other skeletons in the room.
"Of course- before we continue decorating the rest of the castle..why don't we take a break to do some pumpkin carving? We could show off our work to each other."
"i haven't done that in..years-"
"come on guys, we can see which one of us has the best design."
You motion for everyone to follow you, picking up one of the pumpkins you bought. Killer grabs two of them, and Horror holds one with ease. Dust didn't care to carry anything, so he just followed along. 
You make your way into the kitchen, sitting the pumpkins down on the table in there, before grabbing some knives and carving kits. You lay out some old newspapers and place the pumpkins on them.
"So do you guys wanna just wing it or follow a pattern on one of these sheets?"
"wing it, it's more creative." Killer points finger guns at you.
"Improvising it is." You close the small book of patterns, cutting the top off of your pumpkin of choice. 
Horror stands beside you to watch, the other skeletons across from you doing the same thing to their pumpkins. 
"Alright, time for the gross part." You reach your hand into the pumpkin, beginning to remove the seeds. 
"don't they make like..scoops for this-" Dust observes you.
"Yeah but it's kinda fun to do it with your hands, even if it's a bit gross. There should be scoops over there with the kit if you guys wanna use them, though."
Horror completely ignores them and just shoves his hand into his pumpkin, doing the same thing you are, pulling out the seeds and guts.
This process continues for a while until everyone's cleaned out their pumpkins, beginning the process. 
Killer decides to go for a cat design, Dust keeping it simple and carving out a classic face with triangle eyes. Horror decided to make the pumpkin into a house, adjusting it to build a small door on the side. He then places a mini pumpkin you got as a decoration in there, drawing a face on it with a sharpie. 
"is that a reference to the one meme-"
"yes."
"nice-"
"mhm."
You stand there a moment, trying to think of what you want to carve onto your pumpkin. What to choose, what to choose..
Then an idea hits you, and you get to work, using the carving kit for more precise carving. When everyone finishes theirs, they try to peek and see what you're working on, but you turn the pumpkin away. 
"Eyelights off until I'm done."
"the curiosity is killing me- let me seee-"
"Nope, not until it's done, Killer." 
Nightmare enters the room, leaning on the counter to observe the group. 
"Alright, there." 
You turn your pumpkin around so everyone can see, showcasing some mini skeletons, each carved to look like members of the group. 
"Like it?"
Killer gives you some thumbs up, Dust gives you a small smile, and Horror admires your craftsmanship. 
Nightmare puts his hand over his mouth, not showing the smile beneath it at your goofy little carvings. 
"I've succeeded then- we've got our pumpkins for the month. Let's go put them outside- last one out's a rotten egg!" You run out holding your pumpkin, the others chasing you down, and Nightmare walking behind each of you with an amused look. 
Everyone having fun is a nice change of pace. He'll let them have this.
[ao3 link :)] <
// WOW y'all like this one. Maybe I should make more "Bad" Sanses oneshots while I work on LOVE AND JUSTICE since it's focused on them-
Part 2 here!
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littledollll · 1 year
Note
🕊️🕊️
More stalking cause I’m quite an emotional wreck today so me and emery are re reading your fics
Another prompt~ r having anxiety and needing luci to come make them feel better. (Self indulgent fic I’m really struggling today )~ very tired shy anon🕊️
#shy anon
Where’s my angel?
(Little angel universe, side fic)
Lucifer Morningstar x little!angel!reader
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A/n: ya boy has a 3 hour car ride back home and I fell asleep 4 times writing this, If you see random spams of “jjjjjjjjjj” it’ll be gone tomorrow I’m taking a nap now.
To answer your question: I was in a server where the term “little one” was sooo overused and it tired me out when it was used on me so I figured it maybe did the same to other tinys (I was right) + It was just a special term for me and my tiny ones so it was a little different form the usual and “exclusive” to us:)
I can’t think of any warnings but then again I can’t rly think of anything right now so scream at me in the comments if I should add any.
Requested prompts: selective mute, anxiety and emery
Officially taking duty as hells messenger was your choice, you just wanted to feel useful though Lucifer reminded you time and time again that just your company and love was more than enough, even mazikeen agreed claiming that since you came around everything’s been a lot smoother, happy Lucifer means an (ironically) happy hell. Yet you wanted to do more than just- exist.
So when you insisted to take some role to help around Lucifer assigned you as a messenger, really all you had to do was (as the name suggests) bring and deliver messages across realms, it wasn’t that difficult most of the time. But then came days like this. You woke up small, you didn’t really know why but admittedly you didn’t always need a reason. The problem wasn’t that you slipped, it was the time you did.
You panicked, you had work to do but you couldn’t leave like this.
The more you submerged yourself in your panicked thoughts the less you could actually think, you were already small and your anxiety was making you slip further. You couldn’t even panic anymore, everything just left you. That tingling feeling that ran through your spine making you shrink from inside out. It was enough of an indication that there was no chance you’d slip out, and when you noticed you were alone you felt like crying, you cuddled up to Emery and October, October being the new addition to your piles of stuffies, a gift from Lucifer.
Nuzzling your face into the soft fur, you considered running around the kingdom until you found your Luci, but your anxiety was stronger, convincing you you’ve already used up enough of their time, they have a whole realm to run, you could handle one day alone like you had before. You hid under your mountains of blankets with embery and October, curling up and opting to just sleep the time away.
Lucifer of course noticed your absence, you’d usually be excited to get up and start working, they found your search for a mission unnecessary, but it made you happy, how could they take that away? They went to your little room, guessing that if you wished to be alone you’d be there, yet you weren’t, they made their way to your shared room. “Am I crazy or did the amount of blankets here double?” They asked into the air when they spotted your silhouette under the blankets.
You giggled thinking you were so sneaky and they obviously couldn’t hear you. “Greetings mr. silhouette, im looking for a little angel, very very tiny, I swore I heard an adorable giggle around this area, have you seen them?” They waited a beat and you held your breath so they wouldn’t spot you. “Huh, I guess mr silhouette doesn’t speak. Hmmm. Let’s see.. I checked under the bed, in the closet and behind the furniture, where could my little dove possibly be!” You giggled again, putting your finger over your mouth and very (not) discreetly said “shhhh” to both October and Emery.
“There it is again! I know it’s you tiny, and I’ll find you! If you don’t show yourself this instant I will tickle you for all eternity when I do!” You gasped. Quickly scrambling to pull the mess of blankets and peeking your eyes out while you held the covers over the rest of your face. “No way you’ve been there this whole time” you quickly nodded. “Lies! No way, I don’t believe it.” You pulled Your stuffies up from under the blanket as proof.
They glared at your stuffies and looked back at you. “They are such traitors” you shook your head pointing at them. “Oh only to me? I see how it is.” They moved over to the bed pulling the three of you into their arms. Immediately you relaxed into their hold. “What happened today, little dove? You didn’t tell me you slipped.” “didn wan bother..” Lucifer placed a kiss to the tip of your nose. “You could never. You know how much I love you and your company , tiny one.”
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sarah-sandwich-writes · 3 months
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baseball smut pls 🙏🙏🙏
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LMAO okay so first of all baseball uniforms (the pants especially) are sexy this is a universal truth ask anybody
But in regards to the fic... I am so shy about this one idk what it is maybe it's that it jumps right into the smut? or that it's not as sweet and fluffy as my smut usually turns out? (that's not even true it's soooo sweet and fluffy) but it's been done and ready to go since like.... november?? october possibly even???
It's been awhile. I keep find arbitrary reasons to put it off. I have to wait until spring or it's out of season!!!
I should just bite the bullet and throw it out there. Let what happens happen
Here's the first paragraph
Peter’s back hits the boards. The old dugout is a relic of years gone by, the wood weathered and paint peeling, but despite its age, it continues to provide shelter from the elements and prying eyes. Which is good. It’s very, very good.
Here's a random line from the middle
Peter’s skull meets the backboard with a dull thud and a moan.
and this ahem wholesome exchange
“Oh this is the pits.” Peter flicks away a rock and shifts uncomfortably. “How did you stay down here so long?” Harley blinks sluggishly at the crumbling concrete of the dugout floor. It’s dusted with just enough dirt to add grit, but no cushion. Now that he’s thinking about it, his knees feel like he took a sander to them. “Didn’t notice.”
aaaannndddd this little bit from the end
He kicks around some of the dirt that looks suspiciously like knees between footprints, then heads for the car.
And that's it! That's everything (❁´◡`❁)
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thebatmandiaries · 7 months
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Title: The (After) Life of the Party
coming to @deancashorrorfest this october!
Author: @thebatmandiaries
Artist: @milfycas
Rating: M
Word Count: 35,000
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Torture, Angst
Summary: After a fight with Sam one night, Dean wakes up in a world he is unfamiliar with. This world only has one rule: kill or be killed. As a designated Killer, he must kill all the Survivors before they have a chance to complete their task. If he doesn’t, he ruins the risk of becoming a Survivor himself. With the help of Charlie and Benny, other Killers, he slowly finds his footing in the new world he was thrust into. If only there wasn’t a strange blue eyed man to distract him…
Excerpt under the cut:
A few weeks had passed since he met that guy, and Dean was frustrated. All these random people popping up, giving cryptic messages and then disappearing like that was going to actually make him do anything. He scowled as he walked down the dimly lit plath. It was the usual sunset red that bleed into the sky, leaving the area with a ghost town feel.
Dean sighed again. He hated doing what he was “meant” to do, but he really didn’t want to tempt the consequences. He may have been also hoping that one guy came back and talked to him. He thought back to the piercing blue eyes and the instant connection he had felt. It was unsettling in the fact that it wasn’t unsettling. Like he had felt a bond, or something.
It worried him that he was getting used to this place. But he could also feel that the longer he was there, the more the place influenced him. He could almost feel the corruption seeping into his skin. It felt like a thin layer of grime covered him and he couldn’t wash it off no matter how hard he tried.
“Fancy meeting you here.” The man said, causing Dean to turn around, startled. For some reason, he was holding a sucker in his hand.
Dean couldn’t help but frown. “Oh, it’s you.”
The man rolled his eyes. “Don't sound too excited.” He uncrossed his arms. “I know I’m not the one you wanted to see, but I wanted to congratulate you on winning that last trial. It was close.”
Dean scowled. “Yeah, well. It happens.”
The man shook his head. “Not here it doesn’t. You’re lucky you managed to scrape a win out of that one. If you ever want the chance to escape, you’re going to have to do a better job.”
That information had Dean perking up. “I can leave?”
“Maybe, if you do the job well enough.” The man shrugged. Dean really needed to learn his name so he didn't always think of him as ‘the man’. “But as of right now, you’re not even mediocre.”
Dean set his shoulders. “Fine. If it gets me closer to getting out of here, I’ll play your game.”
The man clapped his hands together. “Glad to see you’ve finally seen reason Dean-o. Good to have you in the ranks.”
Dean frowned at him. “What did you say your name was?”
The man winked. “I didn’t. But maybe if you’re good I’ll tell it to you some time.” The man smirked. “Consider this a test, Dean. You’ve got an okay streak in those last three trials. Try and really work for this so I know you’re serious. I’ll know if you don’t.”
Dean let out a sigh and before he could blink again, the man disappeared. He’s not sure this was not a hallucination brought on by the environment here, but time would only tell.
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blorb-el · 4 months
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13 and 23 for the fanfic end of the year asks?
13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year
I have songs that inspire me to think about the fic in question and the characters, but I usually need minimalism while actually writing. For inspiration: the Prisoner’s Chorus from Beethoven's Fidelio, the first movement of the Mendelssohn Violin Concerto in D minor, Peter Gabriel’s cover of The Power of the Heart, Leonard Cohen’s Recitation/A Thousand Kisses Deep, Regina Spektor’s The Call. For actually writing, long playlists/best of's of Arvo Pärt, Max Richter, and Ludovico Einaudi, and this random album of FNAF game music remixes
23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t
putting this under a cut because there are SO DAMN MANY GOOD GOD...........
the biggest would be finishing the Kryptonian superbat au, which would be (mild spoilers?) sort of a sequel to isostatic. It was my NaNo project in 2022 but I had to stop about 25k in for Reasons. I think once it’s done it’ll land in the 40k ish range? There Will Be Footnotes.
of course finishing we shall be free; we shall find peace, but tbh I was pretty damn sure I was never going to finish that in a year. I made about 45k of progress on it during NaNo this year, but, horrifyingly, that only got me about...halfway…through the plot outline. this mfer is a SLOW slow burn
I really wanted to participate more in bottom bruce wayne october with various superbat ideas and ended up with 4 drafts, one of which was done enough to end off to januariat to be beta read, but I just couldn’t figure out how a few paragraphs in that would flow, which is usually a symptom of being unsatisfied with a deeper issue. So the catboy pwp, the chastity belt dkos-ish au, the sex pollen, and the [redacted fic that shall remain undescribed bc I will never have the nerve to publish it except on anon] all remain in tragic stages of unfinishedment
speaking of various pwps, I really wanted to make progress on an immediate post-wf289 fic where the ashes of the Kryll give superbat low-level temporary telepathic empathy and of course they've been pining for each other for years and do it very tenderly and probably weep manly tears, because that's the bronze age worlds finest vibe <3
The claspers whumpfic where clark gets shrapneled and bruce has to do emergency surgery and oh no discovers his claspers remains one scene. I need to look up best practices in octopus physical therapy for this though if it gives you some idea of the intended plot. This would be a prequel/backstory to make this place your home and a home for my xeno clark headcanons in general
I really want to do an omegaverse fic that’s the opposite of the 'oh no, I’ve just gone into heat and I have no plans, you’ll just have to sleep with me' trope. like, bruce's contingency plans have fallen through yeah, but with two weeks advance notice and he's asking clark for a gentleman's favor and there's traditional style courting with cheese plates and possibly slow dancing. also maybe to incorporate xenomegaverse Delta clark and also how much more dangerous Poison Ivy would be in an omegaverse setting
I still have aspirations for a sequel to tacere featuring Kara acclimating to life on earth, but that’s on the back burner until I read more of her comics bc i know that plot's been done over and over and i want to be sure i know what the canon takes are
i fervently want a comfort (xen)omegaverse cloisbat set during the recovery in superman: lost
dragonclark aka the one where kryptonians all avoid magic bc they don't want the spells that shapeshift them into humanoid forms to be broken and they're actually (slightly fifth dimensional) dragons but otherwise tech based. don't worry about it. martha and jonathan found a baby six-limbed dragonlet in that rocket that blinked at them and then shapeshifted and they were like ok we are still gonna adopt
was contemplating a fic set in clark's sophomore year of college where xenoclark/mermaidlori get together but i can't decide whether i want it to be straightforward pwp hooking up or actual melancholy young love plotfic where they both have this impending separation hanging above their heads. i was vaguely thinking of having lori's mermaid tail be partially paralyzed but i'd have to do a hell of a lot more research into ableism related to wheelchairs and find a wheelchair using beta
old timey radio husbands ft. radio bruce getting blackmailed for having sexe pictures. need to buy a book to research the metropolitan american gay scene in the 40s. or perhaps the fic is just the excuse i need to order the book?
every time i watch any given jl episode i want to write a fic where dcauclarkie my problematic rectangular fave gets some god damn therapy. this has been the state of my brain for two years and it may in fact be time to pick up my first ever attempt at dc fic, which was post-stas pre-jls1 fic that attempted to explain why the US government would ever trust dcauclark again by lifting the plot of panic in the sky from the reeves show (ft. amnesiac clark)
speaking of reeves and watching shows every time i watch an episode of batman 66 I want to write an adamwest!bruce/georgereeves!clark because every time I watch 66bruce be a ridiculous dad to dick I’m like ohhhhhhh this man NEEDS to get [redacted] until [redacted] he DESERVES it. he is so husband material. and 50s Superman also could use [redacted redacted redacted]. Unfortunately this is not a plot, but as Jan so patiently reminds me, pwp is a thing, so...
that was so many. if you have read to the end let me know if any of these are intriguing and i shall perhaps move them forward to the front burner alongside wsbf
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ageless-aislynn · 4 months
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Okay, I think I finally have actual proof now that I did NOT cause my computer issues. I found a forum where other people with the same make/model and two make/models right next to it all have had similar issues from day one with their PCs. Then Dell revoked all of the previous driver updates they'd been pushing and yesterday, here comes 3 marked critical: BIOS and the Nvidia and Intel graphics drivers, all brand spankin' new (literally released that week or that day in Intel's case) and with the purpose of "fixing bug checks and providing system stability." Bug checks being the official term for a Blue Screen of Death, that is. Normally I wouldn't update on day one of a new release but, well, my computer crashed this morning when I just turned it on and it was sitting idle after about 5 minutes of up-time so I figured that was my sign.
All 3 updates are now applied. If you pray, I'd appreciate it. If you have time to spare me some kind thoughts, to put some positive energy out there in the universe, just whatever, I appreciate it. I didn't realize how much I truly rely on my computer to deal with my anxiety, depression and panic attack issues until not only do I NOT have access to the things I use to try to get through them all, but the computer's switching off at random times has made all of them so much worse.
Yeah, Halo's just a game but it's truly helped me redirect if I'm struggling with anxiety or a panic attack that's looming. Getting really involved in Mass Effect: Andromeda's various romances, making GIFs of them, learning to craft weapons, that sort of thing, it's helped me focus on things other than worrying about RL stuff. I really could use all of those things back, you know? Plus, I was looking forward to so many of the new games I've added to my Steam library. Learning something new can also help redirect my brain when it's spiraling out of control.
And this isn't even to touch on doing creative things like making GIFs, vidding and writing. I'm still working on my "15 Minutes" ch7 by hand but it's so much slower than being able to type it. I was really hoping to have at least this chapter up before Halo s2 starts but I'm not sure if I can, if I'm just scratching away with pencil and paper, not even certain how I'm going to get those words on the Internet anyway.
I mean, just imagine how frustrating it would be if whatever device you use would just blink off with no rhyme or reason, no way to predict when whatever you're doing will just be gone. Sometimes it does it a couple times a day, sometimes 8 times an hour. You can't do 90% of what you usually do online anyway and the other 10% feels like you're walking through a minefield, just waiting to take one wrong step. And nothing works to fix it. Nothing. You spend hours researching, desperate to find The Thing That Will Work and it's just not out there. That's been the past few weeks with this computer.
Considering that my previous computer is ALSO in this make/model line, just back several years, makes me wonder if the issues it began to have out of the blue in October, 2023 are related. I've seen a LOT of mentions in that forum of people whose computer suddenly went bad in Oct, 23. That seems like an awfully big coincidence, doesn't it?
Anyway, just wanted to check in. Hope you're all doing well and here's hoping that I'm now on the road to getting to just... do things on the computer and the Internet again like I used to. I miss it so much and I really miss all of you. Love to you all. 💖
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yelenasdiary · 2 years
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if your taking requests could you do a florence x reader where r has tattoos and both her and flo have a day of and are both laying on the sofa and florence is tracing readers tattoos and is asking about the meanings of them and stuff and just a lot of fluff if that’s ok
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Pairing: Florence Pugh x Reader 
Summary: Lazy Sundays on the sofa with Florence lead to her learning more about you. 
| Fluff | 0.7K |No Warnings | 
AC: I love this idea!! I just booked to have my first tattoo done in October! I’m super excited, I’m getting 4 of Flo’s iconic movies into 1 tattoo haha. Sorry this isn't long, I hope you enjoy this x
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Sunday, a day mostly known for doing nothing. Florence would always cook a Sunday roaster, part of her being so British and her love for a good roast. During the day the two of you would take Billie for a walk or play with her in the backyard and then the rest of the day was usually spent either reading, drawing, watching movies or just enjoying each other company. 
Today was one of those Sundays, cuddled up on the sofa with Florence wrapped in your arms watching some movie that Netflix wouldn’t stop suggesting. Her soft fingers on her left hand followed the dark outlines of your tattoos that covered your right arm, your own hand tracing random shapes on her hip as you watched the movie. 
“Darling” Florence spoke softly. 
“Yes?” you gave her a soft smile at her name for you. 
“You’ve ever told me what these mean” 
“My tattoos? Well, which do you want to know?” you asked, your hand moving to play with her softly blonde hair. Her index finger followed up to the tattoo on your bicep, “this thing has always had me interested” she said as she looked at the half clock, half compass tattoo.
“The clock represents that time is never promised and the compass represents you can go anywhere, in any direction, at any time” you explained before her fingers traced down to the next tattoo, a Greek goddess. “That’s Themis. She’s the goddess of justice, divine order, fairness, law, and custom” you explained.
Florence shifted slightly and looked at your left arm. “The owl, it’s different” she said while looking over the tattoo of a woman interfered with an owl. 
“My grandfather drew this one actually. The woman is my grandmother. My Pa always said she was his little night owl.” You smiled at the memory of your late grandparents. Florence once again traced her index finger further down your arm, “those ones just represent my favourite songs, more like little tattoo fill ins” you added. 
“Do you go back to the same artist?” 
“Yeah, he’s a friend from high school, he’s always wanted to be a tattoo artist. I was his first client” 
“What was your first tattoo?” Florence sat up so you could move. 
“It’s the little one on my hip that you giggle at” you chuckled. 
“The little shark that is smiling? It’s adorable that’s why” Florence chuckled with you. 
“I still have no idea why I went with that idea” you playfully shook your head. 
“What’s your most recent?” 
“The little X behind my right ear” 
“Yeah, why did you get that one?” 
“Do you remember the first birthday card you gave me?” 
“Darling, that was like 6 years ago” 
“Yeah, well, it’s the tiny little x you left at the bottom of your name” you explained. Florence couldn’t help but smile softly, “you have a tattoo about me?” she asked. 
“We’ve been together for 4 and half years, and you mean a lot to me” you looked at her, “I eventually want to get something else for you, but I haven’t really thought of anything yet” you added. 
“You’re that serious about us?” Florence wondered. It took a long time for you to feel completely comfortable in a relationship, you have your reasons. 
“I am” you nodded lightly, “are you?”
Flo nodded, “I always have been, I was just waiting for you” she replied with a smile, earning a smile of your own. “So, I can get your name as a tattoo one day?” 
“I love how sweet that is but no, not my name” she cuddled back into your arms. 
“Why not?” you asked. 
“It’s a little cheesy” 
“So? I like cheesy” 
Florence chuckled, “I know you do”
“What about a symbol or something that only you know about? Something that is just yours and only yours” you suggested.
“Now that, I like better and” she looked up at you, “I’d like to get the same for you” she added. You looked into her eyes and saw she was serious about the idea which made you heart skip a beat. Leaning down slightly you kissed her lips gently, “I’d like that” you whispered against her lips. 
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Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @natasha-belova | @jeyramarie | 
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xbabybajix · 1 year
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Halloweenie w/ Hanma~
A/N: hiiii my fellow hanma stans!! here’s a small drabble? I thought of on the quicks for Shuji bc his birthday just passed and it got me thinking about what it would be like to spend halloween w him <3 hope everyone who reads enjoys! 
It’s October 31st and what better way to spend it with your boyfriend they call ‘The Reaper’ because of this Hanma thought of the idea as having you be a succubus and he as the grim reaper- picture this as a slutty couples costume
Hanma basically wearing the cloak with no shirt under and some leather pants w/ platform docs, and yours being a body suit with ass and titties out with some fake blood and cute lil horns too 
Hanma’s a pretty unpredictable guy so knowing what was planned for today was a bit worrisome, yall can either spend it going to random parties that Hanma got invited to, roaming around a downtown area and hitting up bars or clubs, or perhaps indulge in trick or treating if Hanma wanted something sweet to snack on while watching you strut your cute ass around the neighborhood.
Going to Halloween parties with Hanma is the best because he LOVES to coordinate costumes with you as you pleased, he needs to wear makeup? Sure! Anything his baby asks of him, she gets. Spend a full hour taking selfies together? Ofc! He has to show off his girl everywhere!! Yall love pregaming before heading out and pumping yourselves up to dance the night away!! (have a headcanon that hanma is a doja cat fan so that’s what you guys listen to before leaving)
Parties with Hanma end in a couple ways, either both of yall are plastered and end up being all over each other inside a random room, or someone ends up making moves on either or and one of yall ends up getting kicked out by the host for starting a fist fight but also ending it! :-) 
In the case where the night actually ends less chaotic than most, it’s spent with constant banter and flirting. Hanma likes to wander off to where he usually finds Kisaki or other members from gangs he knows and will keep an eye on you from afar. Your safety will always come first but Hanma likes watching you lose yourself on the dancefloor with your besties too, it turns him on seeing how your hips sway along with the beat of the music.
To spice things up in your relationship, Hanma LOVES to roleplay w you in public and act like he’s just some guy hitting on you and you LOVE IT because of the tension that rises when his face starts to ease into yours while feeling traces of his fingertips on your lower back till he reaches your ass and gives it a lil squeeze.
If Hanma notices you act more aloof and silly, he’ll know it’s time for yall to head out, when this happens it usually ends with you shouting out your profound love for him and it catches him off guard every time. Hanma is used to hearing you say loving things, but for some reason when you say it while being drunk, it makes his stomach do flips. They say the truth comes out when your drunk, so knowing that even in the state you’re in, you still choose Hanma every time.
Drunk y/n can be a handful sometimes, mostly because it ends with you throwing a small tantrum about how you can still have another drink or five before leaving and Hanma is not having ANY of that esp bc he’s seen you blackout and he refuses to let you get to the point of throwing up, but in the case that you do anyways, he’s there with the hair tie and water <33
If Hanma doesn’t feel like dealing with your brattiness he will just carry you over his shoulder until you reach your home and sit you onto your shared bed together, and will get all your things you use for your bed routine <3
Hanma is also the type to indulge you when you go off a tangent talking about the most random things you thought of while being drunk. “Oh yeah? I didn’t think of that” “oh wow baby you never told me this, that sounds crazy though” “And what else happened?” “you’re so smart even when you’re drunk too doll, its no wonder I love you” pls he says all this while helping you undress and get into your nightwear and then proceeding to take off your makeup and gently rubbing it off from your face.
Once the night has finally ended, hanma makes sure that you’re all taken care of again and then he starts to get ready to climb into bed with you. Nights like these end with you drifting off to sleep in his embrace but before you whisper your i love you’s and smother him in kisses <3 my guy is in heaven and loves the holidays for this reason 
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that-coffee-in-huesca · 6 months
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231021
When Joris Lechêne posted, around the 9th of October, about the context of the Hamas attacks, concluding that these acts can never be justified, but surely, at least in part, explained by the brutal occupation that has lasted over 70 years and made Gaza practically unlivable*, a lot of people were outraged. They commented that NO kind of violent history could possibly give reason for something so horrific and inhumane. Even if someone kills your family or tortures your friends, killing innocent civilians is an absurd response. This is in no way a weird position to take. In fact, it is the only sane position on this issue; of course it is an absurd response that should disgust anyone with a heart and brain. However, what is strange, is that the same logic seems to have completely disappeared in the conversation on the Israeli attacks on Gaza. Why are random Palestinian activists, in each and every interview, asked to condemn the death of 1000 Israelis, before they are allowed to make further points, while Israeli officials (people actually representing the IDF, the very institution wielding the violence on Gaza) are not asked to condemn the death of 4000 Palestinians? For the 4000 Palestinians, context all of a sudden seems very important, and plenty of excuses apparently do exist for the unlawful murder of civilians. The most plain explanation is of course racism. The western world has come so far in dehumanizing Muslims (which is of course how we understand Palestinians, even though many of them are Christian or belong to other religions) that their lives are literally worth less in the mathematical equation of counting casualties. Add to this a very odd relationship with the state of Israel, where many Western states carry some sort of twisted reverence for its military operations while at the same time refusing to challenge their own issues of antisemitism. The West has normalized this idea of Israel as a Western-built island of peace and democracy in an ocean of death, hate and misery. Murder in Israel is wrong and horrendous. Murder in Palestine is just… business as usual (I honestly believe that a lot of Westerners truly believe that people from war-torn, “orientalised”, non-Western countries experience loss differently, as if they are more “used to it” and hence it is not as bad. We saw a lot of this kind of commentary when Russia invaded Ukraine). Israelis indoctrinated and trained to kill Palestinians are explained with militarized rhetoric of democracy and defense, while Palestinians doing the same thing is disregarded as hate-fueled terrorists. Another reason, which also has deeply colonial roots, is the outlook on the violence itself. A lot of us seem to see low-tech violence (like an attack with a machete or a gun to your face) as far more brutal and scary than high-tech violence (sophisticated weaponry maneuvered by someone in a uniform), as if a civilian shot to death would somehow be more dead than one crushed (or slowly suffocated) under a building. This of course all connects to the logic explained above. Seemingly random attacks, targeting people at a music festival, are far more ‘real’ to Westerners. This could happen to any of us. Terrorist attacks from above, however, targeting civilians from the sky in Western-made airplanes dropping Western-made bombs? No, that kind of death is reserved for people living in dusty, beige countries with brutalist buildings. Of course a Westerner relates to the man in the uniform speaking fluent English, talking about self-defense over a dusty stranger crying out to God in front of the house that just collapsed over his family. The latter of these men has come to represent the destruction of European civilisation (this is not a crazy statement these days, just ask the average alt-righter that exists in almost every European parliament and they’ll tell you). The other man represents the West** and all the West stands for, and this is not strange at all, because make no mistake, it is the West that is currently bombing Gaza.
*When we say Gaza is unlivable, we are not only referring to the unlawful killing of civilians, and the outbursts of extreme violence that occurs every now and then, but the lack of resources, the overpopulation and the closed border. Having to sit and watch family members die as they are denied traveling permits to visit hospitals in the West Bank, the constant sound of drones over your house, the electricity only working for a couple of hours a day, the lack of clean water. It has surprised me to know how little many Israeli citizens know about this situation. I distinctly remember a conversation I had some years ago, when an Israeli student described the security reason and why the border to Gaza must remain closed. When I asked him why Israel is patrolling the sea as well, and not letting anyone leave in the opposite direction, he just looked at me and asked: “What? They can’t leave?”.
**Yes, he does. You can talk all you want about how Jewish people are not Western, and I hear you. We should be outraged about how the West seemingly accepts Jewish people when they are constructed as the Western wielders of violence on other exposed and oppressed groups, while carrying on their antisemitic every-day life whenever it is about ANY OTHER issue. The West doesn’t care about Jewish people, they care about having an outpost in the Middle East and arming it to the teeth. Palestinians and Israelis have, and have always had, the same enemy: The colonial white supremasists that are playing them both.
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roosterbox · 7 months
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October Almost-Drabbles 10/7: Apple
Pairing: Cherik
Word Count: 535
Additional tags: “modern” setting, otherwise unspecified AU, no powers, canon disabled character, author is not Jewish but an attempt at keeping kosher was still made, tooth-rotting fluff (as per usual)
Side note: any info about kosher meats was obtained via Google. If it’s not right (or if the mentioned preparations aren’t okay), I apologize. Like I said before, I’m trying not to put TOO MUCH planning or forethought into these drabbles, lol. They were almost going to talk about eating squid and octopus before I thought to check.
Also I know the whole giving teachers apples thing hasn’t been in style in a very long time. I don’t even remember people doing it when I was a kid. It’s an alternate universe, man - just go with it!
Random fun fact: Honeycrisp apples were patented in 1988!
———
The first day of the school year, Charles’ desk was practically covered in apples. Some red, others green, some marbled with yellow. All were perfectly ripe, without bruise or blemish, and filled his classroom with a delicious, fruity aroma. Even the other teachers, who received a few apples of their own, were mildly jealous of the affection Charles’ students had for him.
A bit too much affection, in some cases. More than once he had to gently tell a student that, while he appreciated their regard, there were several reasons why their relationship had to remain purely professional. Such as their age, and the general inappropriateness of such a thing. And there was also his husband, who found the sheer amount of apples Charles brought home every year an endless source of amusement. Plenty for cider, for pies, for baking, or any other different permutations the two of them could conjure.
“Next year you should ask for some Honeycrisps,” Erik said that night as he stored the bags - and bags and bags - of produce.
“Got a few recipes in mind, have you?” Charles teased. With relative ease, he moved himself and his chair around their table, setting out plates and silverware.
His husband shrugged. “Not really. I just rather enjoy them. And there are so few chances these days to indulge.”
“Who would have thought you’d have the sweeter tooth between us?” There was a wine bottle on the counter. Charles took it down and brought it to the table. Excellent vintage, he thought. All that remained was the meal itself. With that in mind, he maneuvered himself out of the wheelchair and into one of the dining seats. Just in time for Erik, finally sans apples, to set the steaming dish right down in the center of the table. Charles thought it smelled absolutely divine, and said as much.
Erik blushed, though he would have denied doing so if asked. “Just an old family recipe tonight, Charles. Nothing special.”
“Anything you make for us is special, my love.”
Before going to his own seat, Erik leaned down to kiss Charles, his own way of silencing the compliments. Though he took pride in his work, Erik still couldn’t help how giddy he got from his husband’s praise.
Charles smiled as they parted. “Except,” he looked thoughtful, “for that albacore tartare from a few months ago.” His stomach growled angrily at the reminder. Sometimes, Erik’s culinary experiments were a bit too ambitious for his digestive system.
Erik grimaced. “I’m never living that down, am I?”
“Not any time soon.”
They both laughed at that. At the very least, the memory was a pleasant one, even if neither had been very happy at the time.
Sometime later, after their bellies were full of roasted meat, veggies, and wine, and they were curled up together on the sofa, Erik squeezed Charles closer, dropping a kiss to the hair of the lightly dozing man.
“I love you,” he said. Charles mumbled out a reply that might have been a returned sentiment. Might also have been gibberish. Either way, Erik was satisfied.
Almost.
“Charles,” he murmured, somewhat deep in thought, “how do you feel about… baked haddock?”
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woahzpeltwrong · 1 month
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WHAT I THINK OF YOU BASED ON YOUR DUOLINGO LANGUAGE OF CHOICE AS A PERSON WITH AN ALMOST 800 DAY LONG STREAK EXCEPT IT KIND OF DEVOLVES AND I MOSTLY COMPLAIN ABOUT DUOLINGO:
(I hope i did this cut right if not this is gonna be LLLOOONG)
Spanish: The classic. It's classic because it's the language that Duolingo is best at. It's actually half decent. You actually have a chance at learning Spanish! Besides that, you probably enjoy the memes about Duolingo, and I imagine your streak is decently long.
French: Everything I know about french Duolingo is bad. It's the only language that's picky about punctuation, it's often wrong for no reason, you probably are struggling. Also, can you conjugate a verb? Duolingo is generally bad with that. Besides that, everyone I know who does French duolingo is slightly pretentious and I don't think I trust you as a person.
German: Ohhhh boy. If you're attempting to learn German with Duolingo alone you might as well just buy the textbook already. While Duolingo is already not great, grammar is so rough for German on Duolingo. Please don't try to learn German grammar with Duolingo. Anyway I think if you're learning German in general you're pretty cool and that's no different for Duolingo learners. Best of luck to yall
Italian: I don't actually know much about Italian Duolingo. I do know that the two people I know that the two people that I know who do Italian Duolingo are gay though so Im assuming you're either Italian-American or gay.
Japanese: This used to be so, so much worse. They improved it, though. It's actually not horrible! Please do supplement your learning with something besides Duolingo, though. You will learn practically nothing otherwise. Anyway 99% chance you like anime because you're learning Japanese on Duolingo
Chinese: it could definitely be worse! It's definitely HORRIBLE, but it is usually actually right and its grammar isn't absolute trash like some of the other ones. It is definitely on the worse side for grammar, but it's not Latin. Aside from all of that, I do think there's at least a 25% chance you're doing this because you ARE Chinese, and a 75% chance you're doing this because you heard Mandarin was hard and wanted to see how true that was without putting money into it.
Russian: ME TOO!!!! This is my primary language on Duolingo currently and all I have to say is why? It's really not worth using Duolingo for, since I started in October 2022 and all I can say is that my potato is cold. It's primarily focused on vocabulary, but it's very random vocabulary, and you learn exactly none of the grammar at any point. I think you're cool :)
Korean: immediately stop. Please learn Korean somewhere else. It's not worth it. One of the worse ones, but at least it's not Latin Duolingo. If you actually actively do this you TERRIFY me and i am begging you to stop
Portuguese: uhhhh.... sure, i guess. It's not great, but it's... fine, I think. It's decent for vocabulary, if nothing. I have literally never met a Portuguese Duolingo learner though
Arabic: ALPHABET? YES. EVERYTHING ELSE? PLEASE NO. My opinion of you is the exact same as for Chinese, 75% chance you heard it was hard and didn't want to commit yet
Dutch: I genuinely did not know this was on Duolingo until I started doing this. Since it's not super popular I am also going to assume Duolingo does not care about it and it is probably only good for vocab. I do not think you are out there, I do not think people learn Dutch on Duolingo.
Swedish: as always please learn on something else its only good for vocabulary anyway you probably live in sweden, i think? Isnt it popular there or something??
Norwegian: general rule of thumb: vocabulary is the only thing duolingo is good at. Anyway, what? Learn somewhere else, anything below chinese on the list has been left to rot and they do not care about it
Turkish: wwwwow. You are really something! Learn Turkish somewhere else. At least it's not Latin
.....
At this point i became tired of saying "it's only good for vocabulary, learn grammar somewhere else." This can be assumed for literally everything.
.....
Polish: YOU SCARE ME POLISH DUOLINGO IS HARD
Irish: you are above the age of 45 and american
Greek: you are a mythology buff
Hebrew: you were probably curious. Everyone else learned somewhere else
Danish: im sorry that you're learning Danish. You are a sad person.
Hindi: The only person I know who is doing Hindi Duolingo is Indian herself, so I guess you're probably Indian idk
Czech: ...???????? Stop
Esperanto: generally i just hate Esperanto with such a burning passion that i don't think anyone should learn it
Ukranian: you're trying! I imagine you will give up in a week though, sorry!
Welsh: I'm all for protecting endangered languages but this isnt how to do it
Vietnamese: a language with six tones and they teach you how to pronounce 0 of them. You're probably cool but stop with duolingo
Hungarian: I did not know this was on duolingo! Very brave of you to try learning a Uralic language on Duolingo, is it going horribly?
Swahili: learn somewhere else. You are probably so cool but duolingo and SWAHILI??????????
Romanian: The only person ive ever met who did this gave up in 3 days because duolingo sucks. I am assuming your streak is no longer than a week
Indonesian: ..... okay. Sure. At least its not Latin.... I think you started learning this completely for fun though
Hawaiian: I HATE DUOLINGO FOR THIS!!!! IT IS A CRITICALLY ENDANGERED LANGUAGE IT DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU FOR LEARNING IT BUTHFJCNEIFBDJFJDSJD!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU DUOLINGO
Navajo: see above. Love you. Hate duolingo.
Klingon and High Valyrian: i hate you
Latin: HERE IT IS. MY WORST ENEMY. GOD I HATE LATIN DUOLINGO. THE AUDIO QUALITY WAS CLEARLY RECORDED IN A CAR. ITS NOT EVEN GOOD FOR VOCABULARY BECAUSE IT IS LITERALLY WRONG VERY VERY OFTEN. ITS SUPER PICKY ON WORD ORDER AND FOR WHAT? ITS LATIN!!! ITS NOT PICKY!!!! IVE BEEN LEARNING LATIN IN A FORMAL SETTING FOR 3 YEARS NOW AND I HATE LATIN DUOLINGO MORE THAN ANYTHING. IF YOU WANT TO LEARN LATIN BUY A LATIN ENGLISH DICTIONARY. IF YOU WANT GRAMMAR GO ONTO MAGISTRULA. ITS A GREAT WEBSITE FOR LATIN GRAMMAR. OH, BUT WHAT ISNT GREAT? DUOLINGO. IN LATIN, TO ANNOY IS TRANSLATED AS "vexare". THIS IS. ACCORDING TO DUOLINGO, "to come from". WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT??? I HATE DUOLINGO. I HATE THIS. ITS ALWAYS WRONG. THE AUDIO QUALITY IS ACTUALLY GARBAGE. I HATE DUOLINGO I HATE DUOLINGO I HATE DUOLINGO. DO NOT LEARN LATIN ON DUOLINGO!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE DUOLINGO SO MUCH I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT DONT USE LATIN DUOLINGO YOU ARE BEING LIED TO
Scottish Gaelic: you are again over 45 and American
Finnish: ohhhh god. I am so sorry. Ur cool ig but im sorry
Yiddish: i am, again, so sorry. Its duolingo. You can't write IN YIDDISH in duolingo because of course you cant
Haitian Creole and Zulu: I don't believe you these are the bottom two languages
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