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trentsixtysix · 1 year

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Stockholm Syndrome

Summary: After a relationship going on for years, you find yourself unable to leave when everything suddenly changes and Trent isn’t the same man you fell in love with.

WARNINGS: This (short) series will contain Angst and (light) Smut. Unhealthy relationship (please don’t read if this will affect you), Mentions of loss, Toxic Trent, D-head Trent, cliche.

Author’s Note: This specific chapter will be more upsetting than anything I’ve written before and will mention loss. If you know you’re not going to be comfortable reading please don’t <3

Word Count: 6.8k

Chapter 4 (final)

Chapter 3 here

————-

'I can't do it.' You plainly said, breaking the silence as you tossed the bearer of bad news on the floor, looking up to your fiancé to see his reaction.

He didn’t say anything, just widening his eyes as he couldn’t make sense of what was happening, as soon as he heard your theory he was filled with excitement, imagining a new future for the two of you; but now that it was proved true, he was heartbroken to see how against it you were.

You needed him to speak, the suspense was killing you and you longed for him to talk to you, you needed him to support you right now and needed to know what was going on inside his head.

‘Why?’ He asked, calmly but the disappointment was evident on his face.

‘I just can’t do it T.’ You told him, voice cracking.

'But why? We're adults… we're engaged for fuck's sake.' He reminded you, picking the stick back up to observe the 2 positive lines on it, comparing it to the digital one which told you guys you were over 2 weeks along.

'What are you not understanding? I don't want a child right now.' You explained, overwhelmed as you needed him to understand.

'Y/n, you're not alone in this.' He tried convincing you, taking your hands and placing kisses all over them, but him doing so just made you feel worse, causing you to sob harder.

'But I am, I can't do this by myself, not with work either.'

'Work? You're far too involved in that job.' 'And you're not doing it yourself, I'm right here.' He said.

'Who are you lying to? You're always away Trent.' You sighed, aware he wouldn't agree, crying harder in frustration.

'We can do this, this is exactly what we need.' He begged, positioning your head up to look him in the eyes.

'No, no I can't. I don't want this Trent.' You sobbed.

'Don't say that, please don't talk like that.' He said, a sob escaping him too.

You just didn't understand how this was possible, sure your periods were irregular but you took your pill all the time and on time, you just couldn't believe that out of all people this was happening to you.

Thoughts of ending the pregnancy came to you many times; neither of you were ready to raise a child, but every time you thought about it you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. There was no way you could go through with it and even though you knew you had every right to, you wouldn't be able to get over it.

Months had passed, and you were seemingly getting over it - you had accepted the fact this was happening and out of your control now so you faced it. Everyday Trent would push you to tell your families, to spread the good news with everyone but you refused to, you figured you'd let them know when you would start showing properly.

Consequently this caused a lot of arguments, with Trent accusing you of not wanting the baby. Of course you didn't. You didn't want it from the start but kept it for his sake - every night you'd ask yourself why? Who was he? You were going to be the one carrying it, taking care of it and seeing it all day, not him. So why were you so keen on doing what he wanted? It drove you mad how often you'd have to defend yourself, 'Of course I want this Trent.' 'That's not what I'm saying Trent.' 'Don't put words in my mouth Trent.'

Everything changed for you guys the day you went for this scan, it was the third and the one for you to get the all clear before you could even think about telling anyone else. Trent put on his biggest smile and proudly showed you off as you both made your way, granting a lot of unwanted looks and attention towards you.

You flinched slightly as the midwife coated your bump with the icy gel, having Trent seated right next to you holding your hand, eagerly looking at the screen to see if he could decipher the gender, even though you all knew it was too early, and he wouldn't be able to.

She went back and forth to try create an image of your womb, content when you could see the shape of the baby appear in front of you. You'd seen it before but you'd never get sick of it, and although it did frighten you for what was to come, you were amazed at how you could carry a life like that.

'Any ideas?' Trent asked, smirk on his face as he tried getting the midwife's opinion on the gender.

'Oh it's too early yet.' She laughed, her expression fading and silence following as she examined the image a bit longer, stepping away for a moment before leaving the room.

'Where are you going?' You asked her, confused as to why she wasn't saying much.

'I'm just going to fetch the doctor, I'll be back.' She explained.

'Everything okay?' Trent questioned.

'Just getting a second opinion that's all.' She nervously smiled, before walking away and leaving you two alone.

'My guess is boy.' Trent told you, kissing your hand.

'Boy? You were so sure it was a girl last night.' You mocked.

'Nah, it's definitely a little boy.' He claimed, making you giggle, interrupted as the doctor was brought in.

'Just gonna have a quick look guys.' She smiled, sitting down to also check, allowing the midwife to leave the room.

'You're 2 months?' She asked, for confirmation.

'8 weeks tomorrow.' You told her, as she nodded.

'Have you been experiencing any cramping?' She continued, and you feared the worst, unsure what she was getting at as you looked to Trent beside you.

'I guess a little?' You answered.

'Well there's no easy away to say this guys..' She began, and as soon as you heard that you knew what it was, zoning out as you didn't want to listen.

You dropped Trent's hand; all you heard was her talking about there being no heartbeat, and after that it was a bunch of nonsense about how they can do more tests, how to deal with it and her being excessively nice.

It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t do anything wrong yet the hatred you felt towards her was unmatched, wanting nothing more to get out of there but she just carried on, telling you what you’d need to expect these next few days as you let Trent sort it out with her.

‘That’s enough.’ You firmly said, startling her as she agreed, leaving the two of you alone.

‘It’ll be okay.’ Trent said, but you didn’t let him finish as you got off the seat, grabbing your coat and bags to go.

‘Can we go now?’ You asked, annoyance evident in your voice whilst he seemed way more hurt than you, just nodding as you got going.

The car journey was filled with complete silence, you didn’t want to talk and neither did he. Not a single tear fell from your face, and there was no reason other than the fact you were still shocked. It didn’t feel as though something as upsetting as this could happen to you, and all you could do was stare at your surroundings and wonder what was real and what wasn't.

Trent on the other hand was a mess. You applauded how he tried holding it together for you though, but this had hurt you more than you’d expected, and you weren’t sure how you went from dreading this pregnancy to being heartbroken over it in such a small amount of time.

He remained normal for you the next few days, but there was still a dreadful eerie vibe around - a vibe that had permanently put you into a bad mood and left you from socialising with the people around you.

Trent had been out late this specific night, and you didn’t even mind as you knew he had a lot on his plate and would only go out once in a while. Not only was he overwhelmed with the loss but with personal criticism he received, and it was late night when you were wrapped up in bed that you felt him slide in next to you after a night out.

You weren’t sure if you could hear him properly; the man next to you sobbing as quiet as he could unaware you were still awake and could hear the whole thing.

‘Trent?’ You hazily called, bringing an instant stop to his weeping.

‘You home now?’ You rhetorically asked, turning over to face him and see him awake.

‘Go back to sleep Y/n.’ He simply advised, shutting his eyes after heavily sighing.

‘What’s up?’ You asked him, and as soon as you said those words he broke down again, prompting you to hold him in your arms a little closer.

‘It doesn’t feel real.’ He admitted, both of you aware what he was talking about.

‘I know..we still have each other.’ You reminded him, planting a kiss on his forehead as he wiped his eyes.

‘But I want my kid too Y/n, I want us and our kid.’ He told you, breaking your heart a little as you found your eyes beginning to tear up.

‘You have me Trent.’ You explained, teary eyed as your voice cracked.

‘Fuck that Y/n. I wanted to be a dad what don’t you understand?’ He groaned, prompting the tears to freely fall from your eyes now.

‘Me too Trent, life is cruel.’ You said, agreeing.

‘There's no point talking to you, you just don't get it.’ He dismissed, enraging you.

‘Of course I do, how can you even say that?’

‘Because you didn’t even want it in the first place. You got exactly what you wanted so don’t cry.’ He slammed, getting up and storming out of the room, leaving you to just lie there and take in what he had said, completely shocked.

You were devastated at his harsh words, feeling your heart break into a million pieces over and over again every time you remembered what he said, unsure how someone you love can accuse you of something so despicable. Sure you didn’t want to be a mother, but you weren’t a monster, you would've loved the child all the same.

It was fair to say the relationship hadn’t been the same ever since. It didn’t matter how well things could’ve been going for you both, in the back of your mind that comment would always stick, always reminding you of what he really thought about you.

——————

How could he replace you like that so quickly? How could he not only betray you in the worst way but make a child with the woman he betrayed you with? After everything you went through?! The worst part was that he encouraged her to keep it, he wanted to be a dad at all costs.

The drive home was excruciatingly painful, and it was fair to say you made many stops and turns just to prolong the journey home, you just couldn’t bear to face him after what she had told you, you’d most definitely do and say something you’d regret; you couldn't let him know that you knew yet, you were gonna keep up this act a little longer until you decided what to do.

You returned home to an empty house, Trent wasn't home yet and you decided you needed to be out for the night. This house was suffocating you - everywhere you turned there was a reminder of either Trent, or your relationship and your stomach churned at how badly he'd hurt you, there was no redemption for him after this and you were done being walked all over.

You: Fancy going out tonight?

Lucy: Of course I do :)

If going out and drowning your sorrows in alcohol was what you needed then you were most certainly going to do that. You couldn't even remember the last time you relaxed and did something with your friends. If Trent was allowed to stay out late and come home drunk every week then why weren't you?

You picked out the tightest dress you could find, and you were sure Trent would have a heart attack if he knew you were going out dressed like that, especially somewhere other men would be. There wasn't anyone you knew to be more possessive and jealous than Trent, you couldn't lie and say you didn't like it because you did. You loved the fact he'd get angry over another male looking at you, it showed you that he cared and how much he wanted you. Looking back now a majority of it was probably just his own insecurities, but regardless, it made you feel good about yourself.

You headed down to the kitchen to refresh yourself before Lucy came over in the taxi to pick you up, stopping in your tracks when you bumped into Trent.

You didn't even realise he was home, gently moving past him before he grabbed your arm playfully.

'No hi or anything?' He chuckled, pulling you in for a kiss as he noticed your dress - you couldn't even show an ounce of the disgust that you had for him, kissing him back as if everything was normal, as if he hadn't gotten another woman pregnant.

'When did you get home?' You asked, trying to sound interested as you heard the taxi pull up outside.

'Just now. Where you going dressed like this?' He observed, his voice light to avoid sounding too confrontational, even though you knew he wasn't happy about your outfit choice at all.

'Out with Lucy. She's outside now so I have to go.' You told him, hurriedly jerking past him to avoid further conversation.

'Are you sure you don't wanna go and change into something else?' He asked, which sounded more like a demand as he looked you up and down.

'I have to go Trent.'

Lucy had a bit too much energy, and the two of you weren't even drunk yet; she was just excited as she hadn't seen her bestfriend in so long, and it had been ages since you had fun like this.

She dragged you to one of the nicest clubs in the city, no doubt managing to get in through one of Tyler's connections, but you were just there to have fun, waltzing over to the bar as soon as you stepped inside.

You made the mistake of not eating something before hand, there was no doubt the amount of alcohol you were about to consume on your empty stomach would be bad for you, but you were thinking of how to have fun in the moment, not caring much for what after had in store for you.

'Is that guy over there looking at you?' Lucy asked, nowhere near as drunk as you even though it had been a few hours into the night now.

'He's cute.' You observed, noticing how he couldn't take his eyes off you, more importantly your body in that dress.

'He's coming over.' Lucy laughed, watching as the tall stud made his way over.

'Your number?' He teasingly said, making you and Lucy both blush.

'Who's asking?' You smirked, noticing he was even better up close.

'Me, is that okay?' He smiled, making you smile back.

'I kinda just want to skip the small talk. Is that okay?' You mocked, staring him down equally as much, catching Lucy off guard next to you.

'I see, is the beautiful lady coming home with me?' He asked you, taking your hand in his as he placed a kiss on it, the rapid effects of the drinks making you laugh like a little school girl.

'She might.' You laughed.

'Ok Y/n, lets go.' Lucy recommended, trying to pull you away.

'No. I wanna stay here.' You affirmed, turning back to the walking art piece in front of you.

'My taxi will be here soon if you make a decision.' The guy added, taking a step back as he left you and Lucy to talk.

'I'll see you soon Luce, I'm gonna head off.' You told her, about to get back to him before she stopped you.

'What are you doing? You're seriously going back with that guy?' She asked, understandably confused.

'Do you know how long it's been since I've had fun?' You giggled, realising she didn't find any of it funny.

'Are you serious? What about Trent?'

'Who cares about Trent? He doesn't care about me.' You slammed, the last thing you needed was to talk about him.

'He's waiting for you at home Y/n, this isn't right.' She tried explaining, cut off by your groans as you didn't care to hear it at all.

'I can't just let you leave with him, come home with me.' She begged.

'Go home Luce, I'll make my own way.' You interrupted, turning to continue your conversation with the mystery man before, interlocking your arms as you exited the club with him.

------

It seemed so right in the moment, all thoughts of Trent vanished as he hurried to unlock his house door, the pair of you rushing inside as he had you pinned against the wall, making out without a care in the world as you didn't wait to take both of your clothes off.

You needed this and you needed it now, the only thing on your mind being your release as he whisked you away to his bedroom, placing you on the bed as he repeatedly kissed all over your body.

'T.' You moaned out, the two of you so drunk you didn't even realise, nor did he really care, just craving the same thing as you right now.

He kissed you lower and lower until he eventually made you finish multiple times; was it the best you'd ever had? No. Did it satisfy you and do the job? Absolutely. Trent was the only person you’d ever slept with up until now, and sex with him was on a whole other level compared to the shit show taking place right now.

At this rate you were just yearning for him to get it over with and fuck you so he could receive the same satisfaction. The actress skills you didn't even know you had coming out as you excessively moaned his praises, something you never had to do before with Trent.

Trent.

What were you even doing? How could you stoop as low as him? You looked around and couldn't believe how far you had taken this, pushing the guy off of you at once as you sat at the side of the bed, head in your hands as you tried to catch your breath.

'Everything okay?' He asked, stopping to sit beside you as he covered you up with the blanket.

'No. No its not.' You answered.

'Was it me? Did I do something wrong?' He checked.

'You're fine. You didn't do anything it's me.' You told him, not even realising you were tearing up as he awkwardly watched you, certain this was something he'd never encountered before.

'I'll get you some water.' He offered, whilst you sat there in disbelief, repeatedly looking around the room wondering if that really happened, that you didn't just wickedly imagine the entire thing.

You hazily unlocked your phone to get yourself a taxi, not realising how late it actually was which was an obvious concern for Trent, who had already called you multiple times.

You had to sit there for another 20 minutes, just listening to the guy next to you talk about himself whilst you prayed the taxi would arrive soon, and once it did you jumped to get away from there.

'You not staying the night?' He asked, and you didn't even bother to answer him as you lazily put your dress back on and left.

You wondered the entire journey what would happen when you got home; surely he'd know right? He most definitely would've called Lucy, and know you didn't go back with her, he probably knew you were getting fucked by someone else. You were just as bad as him now, not even Lucy would be able to look at you the same.

You broke down as you approached the door, head hurting badly as a result of the drinking and the bright lights, and as soon as you unlocked it and entered there he was, sat on the chair in the hallway as he anticipated your arrival.

You locked eyes, frightened as you didn't know what to say or do, you fucked up and even though he had fucked up worse, your conscience couldn't help but pin all of the blame on you. It ate you alive how you felt so shitty when you knew he didn't pay any heed to the fact he got someone else pregnant, even encouraging them to keep it for him.

'Where have you been?' He softly asked, as you tried to walk past him, not needing this conversation right now.

He would've been an idiot to not have known - the makeup on your face was ruined, your lipstick smeared and there was a small rip in your dress, but then again it was dark and with how tired you both were it could be easily missable.

'Y/n, where you been?' He asked again, harsher this time as he stood in front of you to stop you from avoiding him.

'Out, clearly.' You said. You couldn't even bear to look at him, not only because what he did disgusted you but because you were equally as disgusted with yourself.

'You're an absolute state. How much have you had to drink?' He asked, a scoff escaping him as he looked you up and down, and you started to wonder if he knew or not.

He just looked at you saddened, and you glared at him for a few moments before he finally let you past, where you made your way to the shower before getting into bed, not even saying another word to him - you just couldn't believe what happened.

He came in soon after and joined you in bed, pulling you close to him to cuddle but you refused. You had to push him away from you, you were in another man's bed not even two hours ago and you felt dirty to be in his arms right now, no matter how much he deserved it.

'Why are you pulling away from me?' He croakily asked, slightly upset as he'd been waiting for you all night.

'I just feel sick, that's all.' You half-lied, turning over to go to sleep. The only thing that made you sick was the way you fucked someone else so easily, that was something only Trent could drop his morals and do, not you.

-------

You hadn't realised how late you slept in until you checked the clock and it was late into the afternoon, a combination of your hangover and how late you went to bed. You were in no condition to do anything productive today.

'Get up.' Said a voice, making you shut your eyes in frustration again as the room became brighter, and after a minute you reassessed to realise it was Lucy, opening the blinds to encourage you to wake up.

'What are you doing here?' You groaned, sitting upright as she sat on the bed next to you.

'You weren't answering any of my messages.'

'Where's Trent?' You asked, ignoring her.

'He let me in, just left for the gym or something.' She explained.

'But I've been worried sick Y/n, what the hell was that last night?' She asked, angrily.

'I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry for leaving like that.' You admitted.

'What happened with the guy? I thought things were going good with Trent.' She wondered, leaving you to explain it all to her.

'I slept with him Luce...I felt like shit after, got a taxi home straight away.' You said, watching her eyes widening.

'Y/n. You know I'd never judge you.'

'But why?' She asked, and in that moment you realised how much you really envied her, envied her relationship and how easy it was for her. You knew she'd never understand, and why would she? Tyler treated her like a queen and would never hurt her like Trent hurt you.

'That girl from all those months ago?' You reminded her.

'Yeah?'

'He got her pregnant Luce.' You sighed, laughing to disguise your hurt, laughing to also disguise your embarrassment, because it was honestly just embarrassing that you were still here, in his bed, in his house.

She spent the next hour comforting you, in disbelief especially upon finding out he asked her to keep it.

'What are you gonna do now?' She asked.

'Well I have my own apartment, I've had it for months.'

'Then things started getting better again so I've not been there since. This is just too much though, I can't stay any longer.' You cried.

'He was heartbroken when I miscarried, he wanted to be a dad so bad, I know that's the reason.' You theorised, and you knew she was a loss for words, who wouldn't be? You were more surprised she wasn't telling you to get the hell out of there, but it was probably because she didn't know what to say, simply holding you until she had to go.

You wished she would've stayed, you couldn't handle being alone when you already felt like the only person on earth, but you couldn't let yourself sit there and dump on her any longer, allowing her to leave you alone for the remainder of the day, at least until Trent came home.

'Y/n?' He called, beckoning you downstairs to join him, in a seemingly good mood.

'You feeling better?' He asked, greeting you with some purple orchids and a kiss, to which you hesitantly reciprocated.

'Much better thanks.' You lied, gracefully accepting his gifts with you knew were out of guilt of what he'd done, and you wouldn't be surprised if he'd just returned from seeing Daisy.

'Why aren't you ready? We've got that thing at my parents remember.' He told you, taking note of how your face dropped.

'Yeah, I'll get to it now.' You smiled, even though you were planning to get away now, just needing an opportunity for him to leave the house, you refused any more confrontation.

So you did what any normal girlfriend would do; you trudged upstairs happily to get ready. Putting on the most appropriate clothing and enough makeup to hide any evidence of the tears which had made you look permanently miserable.

'You smell good.' Observed Trent, startling you as he came up from behind and kissed your neck.

'What perfume is this?' He added, taking in your scent once again.

'You bought it for me, remember?' You said, showing him the bottle.

‘You look beautiful.’ He smirked, kissing your neck.

‘Thank you.’ You shyly said, getting up to leave with him now.

‘We have a few minutes we can spare right?’ He whispered, making you blush.

‘Trent we have to go.’ You said, the affection he was showing you almost fooled you, but was unbearable once you remembered what he did.

‘They won’t mind if we’re a little late.’ He claimed, kissing your neck repeatedly as you tried to gently get him off.

‘I’m not in the mood right now.’ You said, truthfully as you just needed this night over with already.

‘Come on, I don’t remember the last time we properly had sex.’

‘Later, I promise.’

‘You’ve been saying that for ages please.’ He pleaded, his fingers trailing down the strap of your bralette.

‘Get off Trent.’ You said, pushing him off at once, annoyed with him now as you looked at the ground in disgust.

‘What’s your fucking problem? I’ve been trying so hard Y/n. So hard.’

‘My problem?’

‘Yeah. It’s only me that’s trying to make this work.’

‘You got another girl pregnant Trent. How is that trying to make this work?’ You slammed, he never would’ve imagined you knew.

‘You know?’ He asked, quietly.

‘Y-you’re not even gonna deny it?’

‘This entire time I was clinging onto hope that maybe it’s not true. Maybe she’s making it up.’

‘Y/n just listen to me.’

‘We have a dinner to get to.’ You chuckled, walking straight past him.

‘Y/n we have to talk about this.’

‘No. I don’t wanna hear another word, not right now.’

‘How do you expect me to sit there with my mum and dad in front of me without sorting this out first?’

‘That’s exactly what we’re going to do. Just not right now Trent I swear.’ You explained, using all of your power to hold back the tears, not having the strength to go and get ready again.

He tried bringing it up a few more times in the car, but every time he did you turned the radio louder, not needing this now as you already made up your mind, you just had to get this dinner done with.

The atmosphere was too much for you; it was only the four of you; Tyler and Lucy being busy and Trent’s younger brother doing God knows what. You dreaded this as it meant all the attention was on you two now, and it didn’t take long for the conversation to turn to your upcoming wedding.

‘It’s been too long guys, you need to plan it and get it over with.’ Advised his mum, taking into account the two of you had been engaged over a year and still hadn’t seriously planned anything.

A wedding was the last thing on your mind at the moment, and it was looking more and more unlikely as time went along. You let Trent take the lead, it was his parents after all - and you had to contain your laughter upon hearing the lies and fake love he showed you in front of them, especially when he'd repeatedly kiss your cheek, encourage you to put more food in your plate or hold your hand. It repulsed you but you couldn't do a thing.

‘And kids? Tyler and Lucy are aching for one. I told him to marry her first!’ His dad laughed, prompting laughter from you both too, you a little extra as you couldn’t believe the irony.

‘I’m not thinking about kids at the moment.’ You truthfully said.

‘That’s understandable, we want you guys to relax before they come along.’ His mum encouraged.

‘Trent on the other hand is dying for one.’ You told them, shocking them.

‘Really? Trent you’re too immature to be a dad right now.’ His dad joked.

‘Nah he doesn’t think so, I think he’s ready now.’ You added, slowing your words down when you felt a sharp pinch from under the table, realising Trent had gripped your skin tightly to prevent you from saying any more.

You swatted his hands away at once, rubbing over the spot which had now turned red, slightly bloody.

‘I never would’ve guessed you wanted kids right now son.’ Dianne revealed, shocked as she took a sip of her wine.

‘In fact, Trent you have some news for them don’t you?’ You started, interrupted by Trent who cleared his throat.

‘That’s enough Y/n.’

‘What? What is it?’ His mum asked, excitement visible on both of their faces.

‘Oh they’ll find out soon enough Trent, let’s just tell them!’ You smiled, watching him get up as he readied his car keys.

‘Let’s go.’ He ordered, gesturing to the door with anger behind his eyes as he was about to leave.

‘Let her finish Trent, what were you saying darling?’ His dad interjected.

‘You guys are going to be grandparents very soon.’ You finally said, breaking the news to him as Trent groaned heavily.

‘Y/n get up now.’ Trent said, unlocking the car with his keys.

‘Is this true? Y/n you’re pregnant?’ Dianne asked, hope plastered on her face as she held your hand from across the table, and looking over at Trent he knew this was out of his control now, and he knew you’d say whatever it was that you were planning to say.

‘No Dianne, not me.’ You explained, leaving them in confusion, standing up to join Trent as you were about to leave.

‘Get in the car now Y/n.’ He snapped, throwing his keys at the table with full force, startling the three of you.

‘What’s going on son? Why are you talking to her like that?’ His dad asked.

‘I don’t understand? Are you pregnant or not?’ They questioned, standing up too as they saw how Trent tried getting you out of there.

‘He got someone else pregnant, not me. Tell them Trent.’ You muttered, voice breaking as you really realised the extent of what he had done, eyes tearing up as you had to process it all over again.

You left all of them silent, his mother most obviously affected as she approached you to hold you close. You couldn’t bear to see how upset she looked either, and his dad just looked at him with disgust.

‘Is this true?’ His mum stuttered, tearing up herself as she surely didn’t believe her son could do something like that.

‘It’s none of your business mum.’ He said, hands in a fist as he avoided eye contact with all of you, and you decided it was all too much, running out to the car to go and sit, needing to get away from this as Trent rushed behind you.

You could hear his parents telling him to stop, telling him to leave you alone as he followed you to the car, getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car.

He didn’t scream at you, he didn’t even talk to you. Just silence as he drove you both home. Surely he’d tell you to leave for good now? This was surely past what both of you could handle. You weren’t even thinking of how you could attempt to work this out; there was no way. You wouldn’t even attempt it and put yourself through hell again.

Even entering your once love filled home felt like a punishment for you now. This place was like a prison where you were trapped with unhappy memories instead of the millions of happy ones you shared. The miserable moments outweighed the happy times altogether, you needed to go.

You weren’t sure where he was, nor did you really care - taking your time to grab a duffel bag and sloppily fill it with your necessary belongings as you prepared to leave. You didn’t bother to take the other things, just filling it up with things you’d need that night because surely you weren’t staying here any longer.

‘How did you find out?’ He asked, just watching as you paced around the room gathering your things, not even bothering to stop you, he knew there was nothing to keep you from going now, and if he wanted to have this conversation then you were going to have this conversation.

‘I saw the messages.’ You calmly said, before going on to explain your meet-up in the coffee shop just yesterday morning.

‘I'm sorry.’ He announced, surprising you as you'd think he'd be more angry at you.

‘You asked her to keep it? Why?’ You questioned, ignoring his attempt at an apology.

‘It doesn’t matter, what’s happened has happened.’

‘For once Trent, just answer my fucking question properly!’ You begged, tears pouring down your face at this point whilst he guiltily watched.

‘No matter how much time has passed I just can’t get over it. I can’t get over our kid.’ He revealed, confirming your suspicions, making you fall to the floor in exhaustion, so broken at what he had said as he tried to calm you down.

‘So you felt the need to replace me? Because I couldn't give you a kid?’ You wondered.

‘I could never replace you Y/n. It was a mistake. It will always be you.’

‘How many mistakes are you going to make? I’m leaving. I’ll make sure of it this time.’ You promised, continuing to pack your bags.

‘I’ll leave her Y/n, I’ll never see her again. Just please don’t leave.’ He begged, getting on his knees to hug your waist.

‘You need to be with your child Trent, you signed up for this the second you fucked her.’

‘And I will, I’m not asking you to play mum or anything, just don’t leave.’ He whispered, ironically kissing your belly repeatedly, before you finally had enough and got him off of you.

‘There’s no way I can stay with you after this.’

‘Don’t make me choose between you and my kid.’ He said, which is when you really took into account he was to be a father soon, what were you still doing even talking to him?

‘I’m not. I’ve already made my mind up, I won’t stand in your way.’

‘Don’t. We can work this out I swear.’ He told you, grabbing you to prevent you from leaving.

‘We’ve been trying to work this out for over a year. I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired baby.’ You cried, allowing him to take you into his arms as you didn’t have the energy to continue to fight.

‘It’s always been me and you, we’ll get through this.’ He encouraged.

‘No. And you’ll never forgive me either.’ You muttered, leaving him bewildered.

‘What do you mean?’

You sighed before opening your mouth to tell him, wondering if it was even worth it at this point but it was so messed up you had nothing more to lose.

‘I slept with someone else Trent.’ You disclosed, not expecting him to take his hands off of you, taking a step back as he looked you up and down.

‘I went home with him and I let him fuck me.’

You couldn’t believe his reaction. All the shit he put you through and he had the nerve to react in this way? To look at you like you were the most disgusting person alive?

‘When was this?’

‘Last night.. when I came home late.’ You revealed, examining his face and not understanding why he was especially so hurt at this when he’d done all of it and more to you.

‘This isn’t you.’ He said, shaking his head.

‘This is me Trent.’

‘No. Since when were you a whore?’ He retorted.

‘So when I do it I’m a whore?’

‘I’m the only guy that’s ever fucked you.’ He observed.

‘Not anymore.’

‘It’s like we’re completely different people.’ He scoffed, still in shock at your confession.

‘Because we’re not 18 anymore.’ You reminded him.

‘Let’s be honest with ourselves, I never would’ve been able to leave on my own.’ You claimed.

‘I can’t even look at you.’ He replied, as you tried not to laugh, not sure how someone could be so hypocritical.

‘Just look how disgusted you are, at least this way you’ll let me leave.’ You said, revealing your reasoning for why you did what you did.

'Now you know how it feels, now you know how bad it hurt.’

‘My taxi’s gonna be here soon.’ You added, breaking the silence as he nodded, still frozen and struggling to understand what was happening.

‘Where are you gonna go?’ He wondered.

‘I have a place.’ You calmly told him.

‘What about the rest of your stuff?’ He solemnly asked, a tear falling to the floor as he had accepted you were gonna leave regardless now.

‘I’ll be back soon to get it. It’ll be like I was never here.’

‘But I don’t want that. I don’t want to forget you.’

‘It’s best if you do T. You’re gonna be a dad now, you need to be the best dad you can be.’ You encouraged.

‘I Will. I promise I Will Y/n, I’ll be the best dad I can be.’

‘..For our little one too.’ He promised, making you choke back a sob as he kissed you.

‘Do you love me?’ He asked, whilst you cried into his neck.

‘What type of question is that?’ You asked, as he waited for you to answer it.

'Yes, yes of course I do.'

‘Because you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. Probably the one woman I’ll ever love.’ He admit.

‘If you love me then you need to let me be happy, you know we’re miserable together.’ You stated, noticing your taxi pull up outside.

‘I’m sorry Y/n.’

‘I know you are.’

‘Don’t forget how much I love you.’

‘I couldn’t if I tried.’ You smiled, breaking the hug as you realised you had to go, for good this time as you both stared at each other a little longer, pulling away and turning to leave as you knew you couldn't be coerced into forgiving him once again.

—————

And just like that you left, you made your way to your new home just outside of the city.

The first thing you did when you got in there was block his number. And upon scrolling through your contact list you realised you had to free himself properly, even if that meant cutting off all contact with his parents, his brothers, and even Lucy.

At the end of the day you knew how strong the hold he had over you was, and as difficult as it was you knew you needed to get away, not allowing yourself to be tempted by anyone who may direct you towards him again.

He was poison for you but he was also your ailment. Months has passed and there still hadn’t been any contact. You refrained from searching him up and he was blocked on all platforms.

You imagined he had his child by now, that he had taken the baby to its first game at Anfield. You imagined how proud he’d look showing him off to all of his teammates whilst he did a lap around the pitch with him the next time they won anything grand.

This was his new life without you now, and you knew he’d be coping just fine. You knew from the beginning he could replace you with a click of his fingers. You on the other hand couldn’t get him out of your head no matter how hard you tried. How could you? The guy was the only thing you knew, the only man who had ever shown you you were worth something, and you truly believed you'd be brought back to him again one day, until then swearing off of anyone else until the time was right for the two of you to meet when you weren't flawed anymore..

#football imagines #football fluff #footballer x reader #trent alexander arnold angst #trent alexander arnold fluff #trent alexander arnold imagine #trent alexander arnold imagines #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent imagine #england x reader #england imagines

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anamizuiro · 5 months

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When They Are Self Aware [IkeVamp Edition]

(After reading many tumblr posts about sagau and sahsrau, I pondered...)

Warnings: Long, somewhat ooc (some of these are based of my own impression towards them after looking through posts related to them), 4th-wall destroyed, grammars

What happens when the suitors of Ikemen Vampire become self aware that they are game characters?

That question can lead to two possible answers: it's either chaos or wonder.

For now, it's wonder.

Think about it. They are characters based off of existing historical figures from different eras, right? Obviously, this kind of "technology" will baffle them slightly. Because this kind of thing wasn't even really a thing in their prime. The Protagonist serves as your eyes to see everyone. The residents also take notice of this. You can't really share your message across through MC's mouth. But your words did come across through the wind.

Jean may be wary about this, pondering "is this some sort of witchcraft? Or have God decided to come and punish me by filling my mind with madness and uncertainty?". Because, there's someone out there?? Outside this world observing him?? Some being he didn't know?? And they care for him too (judging from how he sometimes heard your quiet sobbing and desperate pleas, telling him to be aware that despite everything, there are people who care for him) ???? But why? He wondered, why? He don't know who or what is this being that is watching him. Certainly, it wasn't God.

But soon, everyone followed. Jean is no longer the only one who become aware of the presence of this being. One by one, the residents of the mansion followed suit.

×××

Sometimes, whenever Vincent paint sunflowers, everything feels much brighter. He felt some sort of giddiness whenever he draw beautiful scenes. He felt like someone is watching him painting. But this feeling... it didn't frighten him. Rather, he was content. It almost felt like he's a child drawing something while a relative or a parent watching with fond eyes. Sometimes, he swore he heard "I wonder what kind of painting he's making" or "I'm sure his painting is beautiful like the real deal. Too bad they don't show a picture of his paintings".

It's nice that whoever or whatever says this compliments his painting. But real deal? Does this mean someone has painted what he painted before? If so, who? Vincent cannot help but wanting to meet whoever this person is and told them that he wanted to give them credit for the original (poor guy doesn't even know the person you're talking about is the real life counter part of himself).

×××

Theo often hears soothing whispers in his dreams. Though he sometimes had a nightmare about how his brother died in his arms, these days they are followed by someone (or something) comforting him. Telling him that he's already good enough of a brother. And Vincent will still and always love him. But of course he prefer not to tell anyone about this, including Vincent. He didn't think it was necessary.

But, Theo often felt the same presence around Vincent. Whenever he accompanied him to buy art supplies or helping him with the next exhibition, he felt someone or something watching both of them with benevolence. Like a guardian angel, perhaps. Pair of eyes looking at them with fondness whenever they are together in any occasion. Perhaps there is indeed someone out there that care for them both.

×××

Let's face it, Arthur may or may not put up some theories on the wall of his room at first.

He began to note down these weird feeling of being watched. He will be intrigued. No matter where he looked at, this presence were nowhere near him. Or at least, not physically. But how come their presence lingers despite having no physical appearance? Did they use some sort of invisibility cloak? Or maybe this being is like a fairy, like the ones he believes in?

He may or may not use this as an inspiration for his next story

Though whenever he writes his next manuscript, the presence comes off even stronger. A pair of eyes ogling on him. Arthur felt like he was back in those days where he's working on his assignment as a student while being supervised by one of his professors. But it's different. There's a bit of pity in these invisible pair of eyes. But why did this being pity him for writing? What part of him is pitiable?

×××

Comte knew.

Nobody need to tell him about it. He already sensed this presence–your presence–that watches him and the residents. He have seen many unusual things, especially for someone who have lived for centuries.

Those nights he spent by looking at the sky, his golden lances glances specifically at the moon. Thinking that perhaps the celestial object in the sky could serve as your other pair of eyes aside from the woman who came through the door that was supposed to serve as your "vessel".

He longed for this presence. He longed for you. He felt all of your emotions whenever and wherever he is. Sometimes he felt happiness, bashfulness and sorrow. Like Arthur, he wondered what part of him that you pity. But he's content nonetheless. After all, he knows that there is someone out there who think of him.

×××

Isaac will be curious.

He never stops being curious, despite being awkward and socially shy. He's a scientist, a physician. Scientists ought to be curious of their surroundings.

While your (invisible) presence slightly scares him at first, he wondered where you are. If you're not here, then how are you watching him? From where are you watching him? Could it be that there's another world out there beyond his reach? Beyond the boundaries of this world he currently settles in? Was the theory of the existence of parallel universe gain its fame from now on?

He'll never know unless he finally got to meet you. Science has no boundaries, right?

×××

When Sebastian realized this for the first time, he is... unsure how to feel. Considering that he came from the year where advanced technology is still in research and work in progress overall. Could this be the so called simulated world? Like the ones in those fictional stories? But that's too advanced! No way a human can replicate this kind of experience on such a device! Even if they did, what kind of device is it?

Sometimes he heard your adoring whispers of how he is such a big history geek. It kind of caught him off guard. Getting praised by the residents is more than enough to give him a heart attack but when you did it? He might as well lay down on a sofa for a while to process this newfound sense of content.

×××

Like Comte, Vlad is also aware of this.

To think that there is a world out there, and you living on it. Vlad would definitely be content whenever you log in to the game. To the point he will frequently appear in your check-in screen. Saying things of how he is so happy to see you and your presence always made his day.

He also felt your eyes looking at him whenever he goes on to his usual routine. And you wouldn't believe how giddy it made him feel. He felt like a kid again.

Vlad will also look at the moon whenever he think of you. Once again, like Comte, he believed that the moon in the world he lives in serves as your other pair of eyes to see what's going on in this world. If you were out there watching him, the world you lived in must be a peaceful one. Since he sometimes heard your soft giggles in his dream.

This time, he will find a way to see you. Maybe he could borrow Comte's door for a while.

Or maybe he can... find a way to tinker with the game's mechanics to communicate with you.

×××

Napoleon doesn't really think much about the existence of other worlds. Until now.

He once said that he didn't really care of what people think of him. Or how the books described him. He's just a man right in front of you. In front of your screen, that is. Because that's what he told you. But when he came to realized that the world he's living in is a game, a dimension among the binaries simply with a purpose to satisfy those who seek the thrill and adventures of romance, he is shocked.

What do you mean that there are other people out there who played his route? The only presence he felt was yours. He didn't feel anyone else. Is this some sort of fate? Another destiny given to him?

Sometimes, Napoleon heard your whispers in the wind. One time, when he was teaching the children, he heard your faint whisper of praise. Telling him that he's a good teacher. It made him blanked out for a moment until a child have to tug his hand to get him back on track. Despite contemplating whether to tell Isaac about this or not, he did it anyways. And surprisingly, Isaac told him that sometimes he experiences the same thing.

The former Emperor may look calm on the outside. Meanwhile, he began to bury his face on the pillow as he recalled that day.

×××

When Dazai blanked out in the rain, he swore he heard an echo of you calling his name. His eyes blinked as more raindrops falling to his skin. Soaking every inch of his clothing wet. His eyes looked around, wondering where your voice came from before looking back to the cloudy sky once again.

When the sound of rain masked any other noises in his surroundings, your voice went through to him. Your voice sound so sad. He thought, Why do you sound so sad? Who are you feeling sad for?

Yet he yearned for your voice. He sometimes wished it will be raining the next day. Or the next month. All because he felt like your voice is much clearer when it's raining. Sometimes he sits so close to the window when it's raining, eyes looking into the distance, and face looking solemn.

×××

The thought of lovers limited by otherworldly boundaries is such an interesting concept for Shakespeare. It's like Romeo and Juliet but... much better? And with a bit of magic?? No one is dying except that they are now pining for eternity without resolution??

Better be prepared of extra letters you will receive. Sometimes it came from your in-game mailbox. You might want to read it, because it's mostly collection of poem dedicated for you, his so-called otherworldly muse. So many metaphors and shakespearean terms, you might need an expert to help you translate them. Unless you have an experience in arts of theatrics.

Shakespeare will not hesitate to write this down as his new play. About a man who fell in love with a woman who lives far away. And the only thing that could keep them connected was the whispers in the wind. As for how the tale will end, he might need to think about it later. He knew that many of his fans will be a little surprised in this sudden turn of his style. But, hey, he's eager to see you beyond the screen as you watch him directing his play.

×××

Giddy is an understatement. Charles is truly ecstatic. It doesn't matter if he's just a game character. There's someone out there who care for him and loves him? Well, mark him down as happy. He's ready to smother all of his love for you. All he needs to do left is to find a way to get the message across.

What should he send you? An extra diamond? extra drop rate for his card gacha? A bonus secret letter that only you can access? And where should he send his presents? The mailbox? Or just outright on the check-in screen? Charles have so many options yet so indecisive. Because he wants do all of it.

Charles would do anything for you. ANYTHING. He will go through the seven seas and seven land even if it meant that he could finally see you. He's ready to break the game as long as he can talk to you. He's quite lonely, you know?

×××

Faust chuckled in amusement. The scientist have become the observed guinea pig, huh? What an interesting turn of events.

He wondered if you enjoyed watching him. Now that you see him through the eyes of the female protagonist that became your eyes. He wondered if he looked deeper into her eyes, he will saw you. Right there, beyond the screen. Perhaps giggling or just smiling. Or just having neutral expression.

×××

Overall, once they have realized that they are just game characters and they can "see" you, expect for sudden extra diamonds sitting in your mailbox or their greeting become much much livelier than usual.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp comte #ikevamp charles #ikevamp faust #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp dazai

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stuckwthem · 2 years

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hii could you do joseph quinn comforting you after watching the finale pls😭😭😭😭

hell yeah!!! i'm so happy with this request but makes me wanna cry so bad 😭 hope you like, love xx

joseph comforting you after watching the finale | fluff

t/w: SPOILERS AHEAD. eddie's d word.

summary: joe trying to cheer you up after watching the finale.

authors note: really hope you like it! requests are open! i'm so sorry if is trashy :/

p.s: english isn't my first language.

i felt the need to put this fucking photo and bless y'all eyes. god i'm so in love.

you never thought that you could cry so much over fictional characters until stranger things 4 came out. you were having one of the biggest breakdowns in your life while eddie was dying and just couldn't stop crying until the end of the episode. you finished it absolutely sobbing, mumbling some words about how unfair all of that was.

you could see some tears running on joseph face too, but by the fourth time you were replaying eddies and max's deaths he started to chuckle. his hands were on your hair as your head is laying on his leg, stroking slowly the whole time. you turned your head to look at him, offended with how much he started to laugh. he stared you back in absolut awe, thinking how cute you looked with a red nose.

"i can't believe they did this." you exclaimed, lifting up your body and sitting by his side on the sofa. a hiccup left your mouth and you felt more ridiculous as he smiled.

"oh hun, i can't believe you are crying this bad!" he says with a soft tone, hiding a smile, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear.

”did you watched it? of course i'm devasted! i mean, they're just kids! eddie didn't deserve it!” you whined, looking at him with disbelief.

he also had a sad expression and tears in his face all the time while watching it, you could see how much this role had affect him. it was possible to see how proud he was by the glow in his eyes. you felt like your chest could explode with so much pride.

"plus, it was almost to like…watch you die." you almost whisper, a bit ashamed with how emotional you could get towards him. he looked at you worried, frowning, not wasting any time to hug you.

joe has big arms, a soft chest and loving hands so when he cuddles you against his body everything seems to calm down inside you. you rest your head on his neck curve, sniffing.

"wait, no, darling, are you kidding me? i'm right here, see? blood and flesh and i ain't going nowhere. it's okay, we're good" his british accent gets so heavy when he is caught by surprise and right now you just wanna melt with the vibration his voice makes as you're laying in his chest. "and don't worry, i'll make sure eddie has metal and d&d wherever he are"

joseph grabs your hands when you lift your head to look at him with a pouty face. he is trying to not laugh, so the upside down smile he gives makes you smile with him. joe brings your hands up to his lips, kissing the back of both of them, looking into your eyes with most careful gaze. he just keeps there, holding you for at least thirty minutes as you don't stop rambling about how good actors those kids are and discussing all theories that came into your mind. joe just nods and add comments between your monologue, slowly starting to rant with you.

"but the kas theory is the best one" he says, with widening eyes, totally deluded as he happily talks non-stop about eddie, with passion in his eyes. "c'mon, that kid as a vampire? would be mental!"

"hm mrs. quinn, you're getting too excited with this idea, got something to share with the class?" you murmur, suspiciously. he smirks at you, denying with his head.

"hey, i'm just saying" the curly-head shrugs, raising hands in surrender. you squint your eyes at him and joe laughs at your distrust "you know, i kinda like the ideia of being a vampire"

his tongue walks through inside his cheek, holding a teasing smile. you breathe in heavily, feeling a little dizzy and euphoric with only the ideia.

"oh yeah?" your shoulders push him playfully, and for a moment is possible to see the unknown glimpse that passes through his eyes.

"you know what?" joseph asks, leaning towards you. a strong scent of soap and a after bath lotion entering your nostrils, intoxicating your sistem. "you would be my first victim"

you don't even have time to protest when he attacks your neck, kissing the sensitive area frantically. his lips move up to your jaw and then your face, leaving a kiss on every speck on your cheeks. your chuckles mixed with his echoes on his apartment, just like the sweet nothings both of y'all say between the burst of laughter.

"feel better, gorgeous?" he asks, pulling his face a bit back from yours when he stops, just to have a better look of your tearful and red face, analysing every aspect of it.

you nod with a soft grin and he smiles back, hugging you again before cupping the sides of your face in his big hands, squeezing gently your cheeks.

"i'll make us a cup of tea" and then he presses a delicate kiss on the top of your nose, leaving you in absolutely awe.

#eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #stranger things #headcanon #fanfic #imagine #josephquinn #eddie munson x reader #joseph quinn x reader #stranger things fluff

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animegoil-vnc · 7 months

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burning questions/comments about the finale:

*when* did LG go back to? how long has he been playing dumb about it being his first rodeo? beginning of S1? even before then?

He didn't even change his clothes, he was still covered in blood, he really didn't think about it at all he was like nope sorry gonna break all my morals and rules and go back now, not even gonna sleep on it

in theory now there's an empty studio with a fucking CXS corpse in it that is now going to be abandoned until LG finally comes back which could be who knows how long, depending on how far back he went (so uh, guess QL is cleaning that up, hmm)

Guess all the mature LG comments are for real now - since LC does closed time loops I guess we'll never see, but implies LG was maybe... less mature, more free and less serious at some point??

WHEN DID HE GO BACK TO? I NEED TO KNOW

what changed? what kept CXS from dying this time around?

did LG really change the death node with CXS or does he simply *think* he did

Something tells me hat man is going to threaten to undo all of LG's efforts

Guess that's why LG freaked out so much about the gunshot even though in the end CXS just got right up - in his mind he was like NO, I FAILED ANYWAY?

can't believe CXS is going to be the last to know everything - QL doesn't realize she knows yet but it'll click at some point

LG in a turtleneck and coat is the LG lore i actually needed thanks

that man is so head over heels, like, pathetic wet soggy simp of a man looking at CXS's dopey silly smile *sobs loudly*

not sure how i feel about Xixi actually having been able to speak originally - again, not really sure what the newest flashback added to the twins' story & personality - certainly what was gained was not really worth the length of the flashback

fight scene was meh, but did enjoy seeing LG and CXS teaming up, can't believe they couldn't beat QJ but the captain, who's been tasered and knocked out multiple times and is old and tired, managed to beat him

LU GUANG ANGST LU GUANG ANGST LU GUANG ANGST

CXS AND LU GUANG SHARING HOSPITAL ROOM

#link click #link click spoilers

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marshmallowprotection · 4 months

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In the normal ending of Ray's After Ending, when you ask Saeran where Saeyoung is, he responds that Seven is visiting Rika, which seems strange to me because we already know the resentment that Saeyoung has towards everyone who harmed his brother even though Saeran has forgiven them. I don't understand why he visited her, do you have any theories?

Saeyoung will never forgive Rika, V, or Saejoong Choi. That is a given and it will always be a fact. However, as Anon has said the Alternative Ending for Saeran's After Ending, we are shown this prompt that lets us ask for Saeyoung is for the day, implying he's not at the house we all share as a family. Saeran gives a single sentence response, "I think he went to visit Rika."

This is six months after the confrontation with Saejoong Choi.

It took three months to wipe the agency off the map, and while it is mentioned Rika and Saejoong's trials are either in process or done with by the six month mark, we know that Jihyun's trial has not yet been held. Jumin mentions that Jihyun will likely be set free after his trial, which leads me to assume he's been in holding this entire time. Regardless, if Saeyoung went to visit Rika, she's sitting in a meeting room at the prison.

I believe the only possible reason why he wanted to visit her was to speak his mind. He's not there for closure, because he is always going to be angry about what happened, and he's never going to forgive her, but for him to be able to move forward in any capacity, he needs to speak his mind.

Rika is willing to take everything Saeyoung has to give, just as she did in V’s After Ending, if not more so in this timeline. So, I think he went to visit Rika to do that. He's not there to talk TO her, he's there to talk AT her, if that makes sense. He wants answers, sure, but he wants to say what he feels, too.

He is going to speak his mind and she's going to listen. He might let her talk, and she may get to speak about her actions and her choices up until she was caught, but he will gain nothing from it other than what he already knows. “I never should’ve trusted you back then, I should've run away and took my chances on trying to get out of that house myself. My brother is a better person than I’ll ever be because I won’t forgive you. I hope you rot.”

I feel like he would be able to go through something cathartic by being able to do that, but that's not the only reason why I think he would need to confront Rika.

Nobody in the RAE tells Saeyoung that Rika was the one who struck down Mother Choi in self-defense. His birth mother is dead, and he doesn't even get to tell her what he thinks of her like he could with his damn father. He gets no choice in how to process Mother Choi's life being lost for good. Saeyoung doesn't love his mother, he hates her with every fiber in his being, but he was denied the chance to say it to her face.

He's going to have a long talk with Rika about his mother... and it's gonna be messy. Saeyoung saw Rika and V as his adopted parents, and that hurt... God. If it was covered in the game in this route, I'd be sobbing right now. I don't think I could handle it. I don't even know if I can imagine how that talk would go!

(I personally believe Saejoong let Saeyoung be the one to take him down because that was the only fucking good he could offer his son, and Saeran likely suggested that. "If you want to do something right for once in your life, let my brother have some peace in knowing he took you down because you are the reason why my big brother can't sleep at night. He lives in terror. If you have enough sense to visit me before you turn yourself in, you have enough sense to let Saeyoung have what he deserves.")

So, yeah, visiting Rika isn't about making peace, it's about getting answers about the lies and talking about Mother Choi. Hell, he might visit Jihyun for a similar reason, I don't know for sure. But, what I do know is that Saeyoung Choi is going through it and I love that man so much, like a brother, and it's hard to watch him hurt.

#mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #anon #mysme #mysticmessenger #saeran choi #mm #choi saeran #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #saeran after ending #character analysis

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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 2 months

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The age-old question: Is Kokichi the villain?

Ves: this one whiplashes back and forth from objectively correct to SO SO WRONG so much idk how to feel

Me: well, they're right on their main point and simplified some things to get there and at the end he's an anti-hero, not a villain

Ves: i get being frustrated with woobfication but acting like the cast NEVER treated him unfairly is. UHHHHH Kokichi Is An Asshole, But! - my thesis statement also "bragging about how he got two people killed without a hint of genuine remorse" not a HINT!? NOTHING?? YOU CAN'T REMEMBER A SINGLE THING FROM THAT POSTTRIAL THAT SEEMED REMORSEFUL TO YOU!? 'start looking at him as a villain instead of a clueless victim' this is NOT a zero sum game both of those options r wrong

Me: they treated him Like That before he earned it and in his speech at the end of the 4th trial there's a portion when he says he's just stepping up to what's expected from him

Ves: NO LITERALLYYY THE SCENE IN THE DEATH ROAD LIKE….

Me: he was asking to be executed too, but sure, no remorse

Ves: what are we defining as remorse?? because that seems like literally the most remorseful a person could get to me oohhh i forgot remorse can mean REGRET yeah he's not very regretful neither is gonta! they're both crushed w guilt but that's not the same i guess

Me: the whole. everyone believing him when the lies fit what they want to see. bullshit he's a liar until he's saying he's evil, until he's taking something back, because surely he wouldn't lie about lying without saying the catchphrase

Ves: yeag like,,,when it's 'half my lies are told with good intentions' and 'i'm just trying to give gonta good advice, he'll get killed being so naive' and 'monokuma is going to make you suffer for cooperation like he did kaede' and so on and so on…. that's DEFINITELY a lie guys

Me: he left room to be seen through, he gave hints, he gave so many opportunities for them to get it, that he can't be doing it openly, but they went in with pre-packaged distrust specifically for him I love the theory that Tsumugi had them brainwashed to be opposed to him as a default to push him into his role

Ves: you're right but i wouldn't even describe it as HINTS, he has TWO SEPARATE MONOLOGUES about the danger of public cooperation that honestly monokuma should've clocked [sob emoji] but that's getting more into danganronpa writing than kokichi's morals i love giving him stuff that makes them inherently unnerved by him from the beginning

Me: this is also related to how much of "script" I believe there was for the game, I think they were given cues for how they're supposed to feel, little unconscious suggestions, a vague outline set with motives, nothing actually set in stone, the flashback making machine wouldn't need multiple options if there was a whole defined script that's expected to be executed to a t

Ves: i always thought tsumugi's claim that everything was scripted didn't. make sense. but i can never really feel out how much of it was

Me: she gave them roles, and then left them to improvise, she also has a lot of lines that cue you in on what she wants you to think of other characters, she wouldn't need to be doing that if she already controlled what you thought of them, but she's checking in, if you'll agree

Ves: truuuuee the way she talks about gonta always makes me shudder and the way she talks about kokichi always makes me giggle SNDJBHSHF she's sooo bitchy about him i love her

Me: she wants to shoehorn him into being a classic antagonist so bad and he just doesn't fit, like, I could swear she makes a reference to Nagito at least once when talking about him

Ves: THE WAY SHE TALKS ABT RANTAROU FITS THAT REALLY WELL TOO she KEEPS bringing up him being the fanservice character a playboy and he keeps shooting her down

Me: She fucking hates Rantaro and it's so funny, what did he dooo that finally puts her calling him a normie in a context, he ruined a cliché she was trying to pull, that's punishable by death

Ves: it's like when she yells at shuuichi in the FTEs for trying to say she isn't plain

Sini: I will say this, even though he did in fact show remorse in that instance I can’t blame the others for still being bitchy and pissed with him. Even if he had a good reason, which he did, what he did was still majorly fucked up. He was an asshole throughout the whole trial, an asshole to Gonta until that one moment, and then led him to his brutal death. I’m not saying how they treated him at that moment was good, but they aren’t really going to be thinking too rationally after all that. Ig one thing you could say is that they tend to not treat other culprits like Kirumi that way, but in that case I’d say they should’ve overall had written the characters reactions post trial or what not differently in general

Ves: oh no i absolutely think how the characters treat kokichi after ch4 is justified. i just think the op's casual dismissal is. UHHHH shoulda specified i was talking abt them and not the cast, sorry! kokichi was absolutely an asshole and deserved to get treated like one, but i think op fell too in line with the characters

Me: it was a situation where everyone sucked, nobody ever could begin to be equipped to deal with this shit, and so, nobody handled it well the end of the world was involved

Sini: Yeah, like, he’s a liar. Everyone only assumed he must be lying when trying to be helpful or didn’t mean well when he was spitting straight facts. No one bothered to listen to him. I get he’s an asshole, but fuck man, they cozied up to Maki. Wth is her excuse?

Ves: maki is the wall i always run into here maki is just as mean as he is and FARRR more dangerous but. her being an assassin was added later than her being a waifu

Mauri: i love maki. but in canon why the fuck did everyone love her she choked him out after he revealed that she was a fucking TRAINED KILLER and no one was worried abt that ??? kodaka dont make every single female character waifu bait challenge (almost impossible bc miu my love my life)

Ves: they literally cut to the next day when they're all looking through her lab and not ONCE do they comment on how that debacle…ended. DID ANYONE HELP HIM???

Sini: If Kokichi was a girl, I swear, things would’ve been a little different

Ves: if kokichi was a girl but written the same ppl'd say he EATS BABIES if he was written like kodaka likes to write women he WOULD eat babies but it'd be like, fine

Sini: Kokichi literally revealed a threat to the cast. And yet they still treat him like he’s this big villain….WHAT? Okay, but literally people treat Celeste better than Kokichi. Celeste is worse than Kokichi in everyway (personality wise)

Me: Celeste is evil in such a simple way, it's easy to brush over she's just greedy, a materialistic girl in a materialistic world, who could blame her? murder? god forbid women do anything

Sini: She’s very slay, but it’s just shitty cause you know people only excuse her cause she’s a cute girl

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #miu iruma #gonta gokuhara #tsumugi shirogane #rantaro amami #shuichi saihara #kirumi tojo #maki harukawa #nagito komaeda #celestia ludenberg #dr thh #talking canon

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merakiui · 7 months

Note

FONTAINE MADE ME A WRECK! I've always loved Childe's goofy ass so I was so happy when I saw him at Fontaine and even joked to my friends about how much Childe loved me and that's why he left his vision with me (and also came on only 10 wishes~)

By the end of the first quest i was so distraught when Childe was taken to Meropide like??? Neuvilette please we all know he isn't the kidnapper 😭

And then the second part absolutely destroyed me CHILDE PLEASE WHAT ARE YOU DOING COME BACK sobs.

But the scene by the end of the archon quest where he's floating in the water was so epic! The Leviathan too waaa i got so hyped up because I'm such a nerd for sea monsters and like- anything sea related.

—Eel anon

(one of my partners was so happy when Childe disappeared 🥲 and the other was panicking with me)

(under the cut just in case of Archon quest spoilers!!)

I knew something was not quite right when we first meet him again in Fontaine and he essentially tells us, "I think I'm going crazy and I can't trust myself with my Vision lol. So look after it for me!" (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ like... CHILDE????? IS EVERYTHING OKAY???? >_< and then when he almost activates Foul Legacy during his court case LOL. I was salivating during that scene WOOOOOOOOO I always forget just how fine his Foul Legacy form is. OTL

I can't believe his presence in Fontaine is even real. The idea of Childe in prison is so funny to me. My babygirl was a little too silly and now he's in the underwater jail doing time. Someone free him (jk he already did that himself hehe). He did nothing wrong!!! Jokes aside, it was interesting to see Traveler's dreams of him and witness his final moments up until he eventually escapes. The ending with the huge leviathan was so amazing and left me so speechless in the aftermath (Genshin, this cliffhanger hurts my soul. I must know what happens next. T^T). My jaw dropped. I went from: omg Childe!!!!! What're you doing in there?!?!! to oh. OHHHHHH WHOA OMG AAAAAAAAAAAAA. I'm hoping for his safety because the idea of Childe being killed off is so T_T but then I've also seen theories about how he might lose his eye and that maybe that beta design of Childe won't be so farfetched anymore........ so many thoughts in my egg brain. orz orz orz

Fontaine has evoked so much emotion from me. I was genuinely anxious during the scene with Arlecchino and Furina. (ó﹏ò｡) I'm truly enjoying exploring the nation and also completing the Archon quest and world quests! It's been so much fun.

(Omg your partner being happy for Childe's disappearance... ;;; my coworker was also happy when he was promptly stopped by Neuvillette and then when he got thrown in jail. >:( I'm diving into the sea to save Childe as we speak!!!!)

#genshin chit chat #eel anon #i'm so fishbrained so when i saw berrypuff's enclosure during exploration #i thought ':o imagine captive azul existing here...'#aaaaa diving is so fun <3 i hope you're also enjoying your exploration of fontaine dearest eel!!!! :D

25 notes · View notes

linagram · 3 months

Text

[ 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚗 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚜: 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸 ]

part 2 is hereeeee and this time it's what happened to eiko, asahi, yurika, riku and reina a few days before their crimes happened.

since these vds is the last thing i've planned for the period between trial 2 and trial 3, nothing too important to the plot will be posted until season 3 starts (again, not sure when it will happen). pls share your thoughts and theories if you have any <3

(Warnings: relationship dynamic between satsuki and asahi is. very messed up, topics of self-harm and suicide come up in riku's vd, mentions of toxic family dynamics in multiple vds, but honestly all of them could count)

[ Eiko's Confession ]

(typing sounds)

Eiko: Takeru, where are you..

Eiko: What's going on..

Eiko: He wouldn't just leave me like this, right?

Eiko: He's the type of guy who's obsessed with social media, the only reason why he could disappear like this is-

Eiko: ...

Eiko: No. No, I don't want to think about it.

Eiko: But..

Eiko: What if she found out about him?

Eiko: ...

Eiko: Oh, wait a second..

Eiko: One of his friends replied.

Eiko: Maybe he knows something?

Eiko: ...

Eiko: He just.. started flirting with me.

Eiko: *sighs* Fine, I can work with this.

(more typing sounds)

Eiko: Okay, I'll just play along.

Eiko: He seems like a loser who just uses Takeru for money and attention.

Eiko: Oh, a reply.

Eiko: I think I can ask him about Takeru now.

(typing sounds)

Eiko: Come to think of it..

Eiko: If I had more information to work with, I would've found Takeru a long time ago.

Eiko: But all I have is..

Eiko: His first name, age, list of friends, occupation, interests..

Eiko: I don't even know his last name..

Eiko: I don't even know what he looks like..

Eiko: And I know his occupation, but I don't know where exactly he works-

Eiko: Another reply.

Eiko: ...

Eiko: *sighs*

Eiko: He's so annoying..

Eiko: Maybe I can just try to text that other guy again.

Eiko: Oh, he has him in his friend list too-

Eiko: ...

(a sound of notification)

Eiko: .. This icon looks familiar..

(another notification sound)

Eiko: I swear I've seen this frog before-

Eiko: !

Eiko: Hold on..

(a clicking sound)

Eiko: .. It's-

Eiko: It's Takeru's private account?!

Eiko: O-okay, I'll just send this to that guy.

(typing sounds)

Eiko: Let's see what he has to say about this..

Eiko: Hm?

Eiko: Okay, it really is his private account.

Eiko: I wonder if he'll agree to give me the password to it..

Eiko: ?

Eiko: .. Fine, sure, whatever, promise him a date or send him a pic or two.

Eiko: ...

Eiko: What does he mean by "Takeru wouldn't mind if I went on a date with you"?

Eiko: ...

Eiko: Haha.. No. No, he's just lying to me.

Eiko: He just wants me to agree to this. He wants me to believe that Takeru doesn't love me anymore.

Eiko: .. Still, I should ask him about it.

(typing sounds)

Eiko: ...

Eiko: Are you kidding me?..

Eiko: "Well, uh, about that"..

Eiko: "I doubt Takeru will ever be able to go on a date with you"..

Eiko: .. What is wrong with him?

(typing gets faster)

Eiko: Don't tell me..

Eiko: ...

Eiko: .. *starts sobbing*

Eiko: No. No, this can't be true.

Eiko: He's alive. I know he's alive.

Eiko: How could he-

Eiko: ...

Eiko: It wasn't her, right?..

Eiko: I've never told Mother about him, but..

Eiko: .. I had my suspicions, but..

Eiko: He's.. dead..

Eiko: Takeru is.. dead..

(notification sound)

Eiko: Huh?..

Eiko: Another friend of his replied.

Eiko: ...

Eiko: "Hello, this is his private account"..

Eiko: "Here's the password. You'll find all the answers there"..

Eiko: "I am so sorry"..

(very fast typing sounds)

(click)

Eiko: ...

Eiko: Hey..

Eiko: If Takeru is dead..

Eiko: His last post being made fifteen minutes ago doesn't make any sense..

Eiko: What if I scroll down..

Eiko: ...

Eiko: Haha..

Eiko: "I am finally free"?

Eiko: When was this post made?

Eiko: .. That's when he stopped showing up.

Eiko: ...

Eiko: Stupid. So stupid..

Eiko: I really can't trust anyone in this world, huh?

-------------------------------------------------------

[ Asahi's Confession ]

(the door opens)

Satsuki: Ah, here you are!

Asahi: ...

Satsuki: Look what I got you! This plushie is so cute, isn't it?

Asahi: ...

Satsuki: D-do you not like it?..

Satsuki: It's okay, I can get you another one-

Asahi: .. I thought we'll go to see a movie today.

Asahi: You know, the one I've told you about before.

Satsuki: .. Oh.

Satsuki: S-sorry, sweetie, I'm not feeling so good today-

Asahi: But you still went and bought me this.

Satsuki: W-well, it's not a big deal for me-

Asahi: So going to the cinema is hard, huh? Maybe you don't want to spend time with me? Maybe you hate me?

Satsuki: No, no, that's not what I meant-

Satsuki: !

(sound of a plushie being thrown on the floor)

Asahi: I don't need it.

Satsuki: So you really don't like it?..

Asahi: ...

Asahi: Fine! Yes, I hate it! It's weird, it's ugly, it looks cheap, I deserve more!

Asahi: If you can't fulfill your promise, at least buy me something that is just as good as what you've originally promised!

Satsuki: Sorry..

Asahi: I hate it. I hate this thing.

Asahi: I hate you too.

Asahi: How can you call yourself my mother when you can't even give me the love that I want and deserve?!

Satsuki: I just.. don't know what you want from me..

Asahi: .. I just want something that will leave me satisfied, I guess.

Satsuki: Like what?..

Asahi: ...

Asahi: LIKE GOING TO SEE A MOVIE!

Asahi: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?! I'M LITERALLY ELEVEN AND EVEN I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN'T BE A MOTHER!

Asahi: NO WONDER YOU COULD NEVER HAVE A CHILD OF YOUR OWN!

Satsuki: ...

Asahi: JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS BECAUSE IF YOU DID THEY WOULD SUFFER EVEN MORE THAN I DO!

Satsuki: Please, stop-

Asahi: WHAT, ARE YOU GOING TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF? ARE YOU FINALLY GOING TO SAY SOMETHING?

Asahi: ARE YOU GOING TO ADMIT THAT YOU'RE THE WORST MOTHER ANY CHILD COULD HAVE?!

Satsuki: SHUT UP ALREADY!

Asahi: ...

Satsuki: I.. I wanted a child. I really did.

Satsuki: When I first saw you, I hoped that..

Satsuki: .. You would fill the void I feel inside of me.

Satsuki: But it's hard.

Satsuki: It's too hard being a mother for me.

Asahi: .. Hey. Why are you telling me this-

Satsuki: You're right. I really am the worst mother any child could have.

Satsuki: Haha.. I really don't deserve to be a mother.

Satsuki: I can't give you the love you deserve. I'm sorry.

Satsuki: .. I will think about it. Maybe Masato really was right.

Asahi: But.. that guy didn't want me to live here..

Asahi: Hey! Hey, don't leave!

Asahi: Where the hell do you think you're going?!

Asahi: What is that supposed to mean?!

Asahi: .. Are you going to send me to an orphanage or something? After you had basically kidnapped me?!

Asahi: Answer me already!

(the door closes)

Asahi: ...

Asahi: W-what is wrong with her..

Asahi: .. What if she's just going to-

Asahi: .. No.

Asahi: No, no, no, no, no-

Asahi: She can't just.. throw me out.

Asahi: I don't wanna-

Asahi: .. *starts sobbing*

Asahi: .. I should go eat something..

-------------------------------------------------

[ Yurika's Confession ]

Yurika: "Finally, the classes are over."

Yurika: "Ugh, I hate this place so much.. Why should I go to university anyway?"

Yurika: "With a family like mine, I don't need education-"

Yurika: ...

Yurika: "Hey, just a reminder, now you have to work in a maid cafe and serve creeps that are ogling you all day exactly because of saying stuff like this."

Yurika: "I wish I could just quit that job, my second one is good enough-"

Yurika: "W-wait, no, no, I can't do that!"

Yurika: "I have to stay strong for Takame-san!"

Yurika: "Also.."

Yurika: "She lets me do anything I want to them, so.."

Yurika: Hehe..

???: Yurika!

Yurika: *screams*

Yurika: A-ah, it's you.. W-what do you want?

???: Oh, I was just wondering, do you want to.. you know, hang out together, maybe?

???: You've been looking not so good lately. I'm kinda worried about you.

Yurika: Oh, I see..

Yurika: "God, she's a terrible liar."

Yurika: "Someone like her can't be worried about me. She's the popular girl. She does well in class, she's hot, she has so many friends, someone like her would totally obliterate me in high school!"

Yurika: "And I say that as someone who was popular in high school!"

Yurika: "Her brother is also.. uh, okay, I guess. I mean, girls like him. Have no idea what they see in him though."

Yurika: A-anyway, sorry, I'm a bit busy. I have work, so..

???: By the way, you keep mentioning your job, but like..

???: Where do you even work?

Yurika: ".. I have to run."

Yurika: Uh.. Y-you know.. A-at a cafe..

???: Really? That makes sense actually..

???: You know, you're cute, so I imagine you being very popular with the customers.

Yurika: "Shut up."

Yurika: "Wait, did she just call me cute?"

???: So like.. Can I visit you someday-

Yurika: NO!

Yurika: Um.. I'm just.. very shy, haha..

Yurika: Like, I don't want you to see me, haha..

???: But I'm sure you look adorable in your uniform! Come on!

Yurika: "She doesn't know the kind of uniform I have to wear.."

???: Also.. Um..

???: I've actually been looking for a job lately and I thought that being a waitress could fit me, so..

Yurika: "Oh, don't you even try."

Yurika: "Wait a minute, if someone like her starts working with us, maybe those guys will pay more attention to her than me?"

Yurika: "That would be nice.."

Yurika: "Wait, what if Takame-san starts liking her more too?!"

Yurika: "No, no, she's too loyal, she loves me too much-"

Yurika: ...

Yurika: "Who am I kidding, she would leave me right after she sees her."

Yurika: "Wait.."

Yurika: "What if she finds out.."

Yurika: O-oh, sorry, I am so sorry, I am actually so late! Gotta go!

(sounds of Yurika running away)

???: Yurika! Yurika, wait!

???: She's already gone..

???: *sighs* Well, at least now I know that she works at a cafe..

???: I just have to find out which one-

???: .. Considering her hobbies and interests and everything..

???: And how embarrassed she looked..

???: .. Yep. It has to be a maid cafe.

???: Don't we have a very popular one not so far away from here?

(sounds of Yurika running and stopping to take a breath)

Yurika: *breathing heavily* I'm so.. tired..

Yurika: I bet she's just trying to find out more about me for her blog or whatever.

Yurika: But I'm not suspicious at all! I'm just a cute little girl on the way to working a totally normal job!

Yurika: .. Now why am I saying this out loud?

Yurika: Whatever. I am doing this for Takame-san.

Yurika: .. I owe her after all.

(sounds of Yurika opening the door)

Takame: Ah, Yuri-chan! I'm so glad you're here!

Takame: Let's work hard today, okay?

Takame: .. Same goes for tonight too~

---------------------------------------------------

[ Riku's Confession ]

(sounds of Riku playing the guitar that get more and more quiet)

Riku: Okay, we're done for today, everybody! Good job today~

???: Finally, I was getting hungry..

???: Hey, Riku, is it just me or does your voice sound kinda weird?

Riku: Huh?

???: Like.. It's more quiet than usual?

Riku: Hm.. Well, my throat doesn't hurt or anything.

Riku: Eh, maybe it's the acoustics.

???: Okay.. Take care of yourself. You gotta.

???: We still have that one concert to prepare for too..

Riku: Haha, don't worry about me. I'm not going to let us down.

???: Fine, fine. I'll get going then.

Riku: Bye! I'll stay here to finish working on.. uh, something.

(sounds of everyone leaving)

Riku: ...

Riku: *starts coughing*

Riku: "Maybe drinking so much cold water before our practice was a bad idea.."

Riku: "It's fine. I'm sure it's nothing serious."

(sounds of Riku playing the guitar again)

Riku: ".. I don't want to leave yet for some reason."

Riku: "Not now."

(Riku continues to play)

(sounds of someone's footsteps)

(the door opens)

Yue: Riku-kun!~

(Riku stops playing)

Riku: A-ah.. It's you.

Yue: Ehehe~ Did today's practice go well?

Riku: .. Y-yeah.

Yue: Your voice sounds weird. Did you catch a cold?

Riku: "Again?.."

(sounds of Yue sitting down next to Riku)

Yue: Can you play something for me? Please?

Riku: .. Sure.

(Riku starts playing the guitar again)

Yue: Nope. That's not the one.

Riku: What do you mean?

Yue: This isn't the kind of songs you like. This is not.. "you", you know?

Yue: This is just the "you" that you came up with to make others like you.

Yue: This is the song that a popular guy who's loved by everyone in the school would play.

Yue: This isn't the song that my only friend would play.

Riku: .. Fine.

Riku: .. I-I'll play it for you when we get home. I don't want to do it here.

Yue: Hm. Meanie.

Riku: I don't want others to ask me about it. Also, the practice is over anyway. I have to go home.

Yue: Let's go together then~

Riku: Fine.

Riku: Ah-

Riku: P-put this thing away! Are you insane?

Yue: Ah.. Right. We can't do this here, right?

Riku: Obviously.

Riku: W-what are you-

Yue: .. Did you do it again this morning?

Yue: There's still some blood too..

Yue: Can't you at least take care of them properly?

Riku: .. I didn't have the time.

Yue: Hey, if you're going to die, you can't do it without me.

Yue: Here, I'll help.

Riku: Wh-

Riku: That's even worse!

Yue: Oh, I forgot to bring my stuff with me, so..

Riku: That doesn't mean you have to lick the blood off!

Riku: L-let's just go home already.

(sounds of Riku pulling down his sleeve)

Yue: Okay~

Yue: Hey, Riku-kun..

Yue: But like.. If you were to die..

Yue: How would you like to leave this world?

Riku: You ask this question every single time.

Yue: And you always give me a different answer.

Riku: ...

Riku: .. I guess I'd want it to be painful, but quick.

Yue: Oh, that's a new one!

Yue Well, let's see..

Yue: Maybe I could hit you on the head with a rock?

Yue: I'm stronger than I look! I'll make it as quick and as painful as you desire!

Riku: ...

Riku: Haha..

Riku: You're so weird..

Yue: But you still hang out with me like this.

Yue: .. When was the last time we've talked about something else and not like.. death and all that stuff?

Riku: .. Can't remember.

Riku: Like.. Didn't we talk about it even back when we were kids too?

Yue: Right, right! Remember you got really sad after your mom told you that you have to stop being selfish and that you're too jealous of Hinode?

Riku: ...

Yue: And then I was like "Hey, what do you want to do?" and you were like "I don't know, dying sounds nice"!

Yue: And this happened when you were like.. eleven? Or twelve?

Yue: Like, you were a messed up kid, if you think about it!

Yue: Or more like.. a very broken one.

Riku: .. So..

Riku: If you could kill me..

Riku: How would you do it?

Yue: Simple.

Yue: I'd do it in a way that would let us both die at the same time.

Riku: .. So if you wanted to die..

Yue: Yep. I would never die without you.

Yue: That's why I'm still here. As long as you're alive, I'll stay alive too.

Yue: And I won't let you do anything to yourself either. We have to leave together. It's a promise.

Yue: So..

Yue: Do you want to try again?

Riku: ...

Riku: N-no, thanks. Not feeling like it today.

Yue: Oh, really? Not even doing the "death practice"?

Riku: .. What if somebody sees?

Yue: Come on, children won't come here at this time.

Yue: And if somebody asks, we can just use the "we tripped and fell" excuse.

Riku: Together? Like we fell at the same time?

Yue: They believe us every single time.

Riku: Sometimes I wonder if they really do believe us.

Yue: Maybe they just don't want to accept the truth. Who knows.

Riku: ".. So he's not going to die until I agree to die too.."

Riku: "This is going to be harder than I thought.."

Yue: So, are you ready?

Riku: .. Fine. You go first.

Yue: Of course. I always do.

----------------------------------------------------

[ Reina's Confession ]

(sounds of someone being beaten up)

???: Ugh, she's showing no reaction at all! So boring..

???: We can kill you, you know! Don't you want to live?

???: Maybe she's already dead?

Reina: (her voice is noticeably deeper than usual) Enough. Let her go.

Reina: I thought this would be more fun.. What a disappointment.

Reina: (to the girl) Hey. Do you even want to live? Are you really okay with this?

Girl: ...

Girl: Don't know.

Reina: *sighs* Fine.

Reina: (to her friends) Why are you still standing here like a bunch of losers? I thought I've told you to let her go.

Her friends: On it, boss!

???: At least we've got the money..

???: But seriously, her eyes were so empty.

???: They looked kinda.. like yours, actually.

Reina: Wow, thanks for the compliment.

???: So, do you want to do anything else? Or are we done here?

Reina: .. I don't want to go home.

???: Because of your parents, right?

Reina: ...

???: Listen, I know we're supposed to be the bad guys and all, but like..

???: Neiro is worried about you.

???: Your parents suck, but that guy cares about you. Can you at least try coming home early for him?

???: Imagine if he finds out about what we do. He's not gonna like it.

Reina: !

(sounds of Reina punching the guy and him falling on the ground)

Reina: Don't even joke about it.

???: Okay, fine.. Seriously, sometimes I forget how strong you are.

???: But what if he does find out about it? What are you going to do?

Reina: ...

Reina: .. I'll run away.

Reina: How do you feel about living together?

???: What, like a couple?

Reina: You're not a cute girl, so I'll pass.

???: Damn, okay.. But like. My apartment is a mess.

Reina: My room's a mess too. We're matching.

???: Haha, fine~ I'll think about it.

Reina: Yay..

???: So, are you gonna go home now?

Reina: .. Can we just..

Reina: Sit like this for ten more minutes? Maybe fifteen.

???: .. You know, from what you've told me, I doubt that your parents really hate you.

???: It's like, they came up with this perfect version of you in their heads and they don't like the real you, but they don't hate you.

???: They're worried about you too-

Reina: Respectfully, shut up.

???: You know that it's true. That's why you're trying to shut me up.

Reina: God, you're so annoying.

Reina: If I ever meet someone like you or even worse, I'm going to..

???: Become best friends with them.

Reina: What-

???: You won't kill them. You won't even hurt them. You'll protect them with your life if you have to.

???: I know you too well.

Reina: ...

Reina: *laughs* You're right. You're right.

Reina: .. Fine. I'll get going.

???: Do you want me to walk you home?

Reina: They'll have questions. No, thank you.

Reina: Don't want them to think you're my boyfriend or anything. Dad will kill you and Mom will kill me.

???: Okay.

???: Good job today.

Reina: .. You too.

#so. yeah takeru didn't just ghost eiko and he didn't just lie about his job appearance and all that #i feel like asahi is going to get voted inno again in season 3 tbh..#i don't mind tho! he would get voted guilty at least once in canon but if y'all don't want a kid to go through the horrors i understand #yurika is just silly <3 #i find it so funny how like. we know that her other job is Bad but so far no one got it right #riku 😔😔😔😔😔#also. i'm not saying that some characters who appear or get mentioned for like a second are future prisoners but. ehe <3 #💎prisoner 006: yoshioka eiko💎#🍬prisoner 007: yano asahi 🍬#🎀prisoner 008: maruyama yurika 🎀#🎸prisoner 009: kuroki riku 🎸#🎭prisoner 010: himura reina🎭#milgram #milgram oc #milgram project #ocgram

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wangmiao · 8 months

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hii! i just finished reading the dark forest!! what a journey, i think it took me about a month to finish it lol. i wanted to share some thoughts !!

i found some of the concepts fascinating.. what stuck with me the most now i that i (try to) recall everything that happened, was the battle of darkness and the dark forest theory as a whole was brilliant. i imagine those people that were just- endlessly floating in the immensely vast universe and it made me think "oh wow how Sad and Hopeless that must've been" i too would've want to end it all, i believe that's a lot to endure.. that's one

another thing was the infamous wallfacer project. well that was new. and the fact that they had to plan everything on their own bc of the sophons, that's also kind of depressing lol. one thing i was confused was: why was luoji re-elected as a wallfacer at the end? i mean there wasn't anything more he could have done anyways?

da shi as always is such a great person😭 he never abandoned luoji during this long crazy journey, even after 200+ years. honestly i love his character a ton, i wanted to see what would happen to him at the end but there was nothing! will he be on Death's end? or his character just ends here? :((

i thought the whole thing with the "trees" as homes was pretty cool, though i couldn't really see it in my imagination haha i honestly can't imagine what would our society be like in, say, 300 years from now

i found it too simplistic(? that only when the trisolarans communicated with luoji did they stopped their plan to coming to earth, or maybe there's something i missed? or maybe it is really just that: communication solves everything? lol idk

and a deserved special mention to zhang beihai, respect!

i think that's everything i've got on my mind right now, but in general it was very interesting and depressing and dark.... what were some your favourite moments from the book? i can't wait to start death's end next !! but i'll start later, i have to fully process this book first hahaha anyways that's all, have a great day or night!!! :))

hello, friend! it's great reading this ask, and i'm glad you decided to share it with me. i have to say that i read the books years ago, so my memory on everything is not that fresh. and since i read the chinese version, i don't know some of the vocabularies they used in englishn. while i'll try my best to reply to this ask, i'm sure there's gotta be some novel fans here that could do better than me.

the dark forest is indeed very interesting and depressingly dark. i was definitely in awe when i heard the dark forest theory for the first time (before i read the books, and that was partly why i decided to read them). i also really like 水滴/waterdrop or droplet which is just something that looks simple but super super super powerful.

i enjoyed reading about the wallfacer project. even the three failed ones are equally fascinating and disturbing. i want to bow down to liu cixin's imagination...if i remember it correctly, luo ji is re-elected because his "咒语/spell or curse" actually came true. and at that time humans are really hopeless, so they just want to have someone that they believe can save/lead them.

da shi is everything. i lol need a da shi myself. unfortunately, he's not in the third book. my inner shiwang shipper feels that shi qiang and wang miao got similar style of exist from the story. and the common believe (i don't even remember if i read it in the novel or it was fan theory) is that shi qiang dies of natural causes at old age like wang miao. i kinda feel like maybe shi qiang and wang miao promised each other that they'd try to stay alive so that they can both be copernicus *sobs*...

ok...bear with my silly shallow shipper's talk for a moment, you know some people were like shiwang will be no more once season 2 of three body comes out, and everyone will start to ship shi qiang and luo ji, and it kinda bothered me a bit (ps. i know most people including myself didn't ship anything while reading the books, but man, these dramas are really forcing it on us lol). but i don't anymore, because i really think wang miao is special to shi qiang. besides shi qiang being a good and protective human being who will die for the greater good, i think one of the reasons that he stays with luo ji all this time is because luo ji reminds him of wang miao. even though it is only mentioned very breifly, i do believe liu cixin meant to tell us how important wang miao is to shi qiang... “我这辈子还只见着他一个”

as for luo ji stopping the trisolarans, i think he uses the dark forest theory, and his threat of exposing the location of the trisolaris (and in turn exposing earth's location) stops their plan.

and zhang beihai is an awesome, complex, and well loved tragic hero even though he isn't a very major character like luo ji. i remember yu hewei said in an interview that if he didn't play shi qiang, he'd probably like to play zhang beihai. i'm really curious who they'd pick to play zhang beihai in season 2.

anyways, thanks so much for the ask. you made me want to re-read the books, and i know i really should! have a nice day/night!

#three body #三体 #three body problem #the three body problem: the dark forest #the three body problem #3 body problem #ask/talk to me #in-a-brown-study #cnovel #cdrama

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thesherrinfordfacility · 8 months

Note

Still stuck on angel Crowley especially with the knowledge that Aziraphale was a cherub. What level do you have to have in the hierarchy in order to have that much faith and security. Like you've never been reprimanded for anything in your life.

my brain is like a skipping record on the implications of pre-fall crowley and aziraphale, their ranks, their responsibilities, and the foreshadowing of their experience of the fall. ive talked about it in metas that ill link below if you - or anyone else - is interested!!!✨ but the thing (essentially, the tl;dr) that gets me is:

aziraphale as a cherub, if following christian angelology, would be to my mind essentially a guardian of god, and very close to her (which tracks re: eastern gate, and being somewhat comfortable lying to her about the sword)

aziraphale also is actively helping build earth and the humans which, if going by the belief that they are god's Ultimate creation, would also place him in esteem and prestige, can't believe just any angel would be entrusted with that and/or reading the plans for them

aziraphale appears to have a concept of punishment, and given this is pre-fall (and id therefore imagine that punishment that means anything to an angel doesn't yet exist) it makes me think aziraphale knew something that angel!crowley/AWCW didn't

AWCW appears to have been working on the stars 'since always' - could be a workaholic, high-ranking angel, or is in fact a lower rank (going by the same angelology matrix), liaising with god ("gravity"), but not close to her like the highest choirs are. for this reason, despite his bravado to shax, im hesitant to think he was an Archangel

AWCW seems way more innocent than aziraphale just in terms of manner and tone in that scene, aziraphale seems more wise and worldly even without taking into context his Warning. aziraphale is also rather condescending at points in his dialogue.

so i mean, take the above as you will - im not about to reawaken the lucifer theory (it needs to - sob - stay firmly in its grave), but i do wonder if crowley is actually more powerful as a demon than he was as an angel. he has the power of creation etc. in the pre-fall scene, but the ability to stop time etc. in the post-1793 scenes? i wonder if that was borne out of his imagination which - yk - other demons don't have. i love theorising about this part of their story and could go on for a fortnight, but i do wonder if we have the perceived importance of these characters, pre-fall, the right way around!!!✨

links:

what does aziraphale know?, omniscience/free will, and the fall (basically looking at free will in Calvinist doctrine), does crowley even remember the fall?, and book of life musings (but a bit on the fall towards the end)

#good omens #ask #the fall/the great war spec #pre-fall aziraphale spec #AWCW spec #angel hierarchy spec

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princessleiaswift · 26 days

Text

bad batch ep 10 & 11

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

So I've just finished this week's bad batch and Mr. Filoni blessed us with 2 incredible episodes.

I want to break them down individually since they're very different.

Let's start with ep 10!

We start off with a brand new planet (could be wrong but I have never seen it).

Here we meet a super cute force-sensitive child (he's such a sweet potato, I mean come on) with his mother.

This is a time when it's very dangerous time to be able to control the powers of the force, so of course, something bad happens.

Come on, it's Star Wars. We can't give the characters a happy ending.

I was so sad when he got taken but Dave Filoni granted us a Cad Bane cameo to lessen the pain.

And I will take that.

It was super cool to see what Emerie has been up to since we left her off in the beginning of the season.

This episode did not include anyone from the batch yet I tend to believe the episodes that do not revolve around the squad always turn out to be SO GOOD.

I was sobbing up when we got see what was going on inside that damn secret vault.

I think it's pretty obvious that there would be force-sensitive children there, yet idk why but I always imagined something different would hide behind the locked doors.

Anyway, Eve is definetly one of my new faves and seeing how these children were treated really made my heart ache.

Seeing this new critical side to Emerie was so cool!

Filoni is definitely leading up to her playing a significant role in this season.

And I'm all here for it

Seeing Emerie give Eve Omegas homemade Lula was definitely the perfect icing on top of the cake

Overall this is probably one of my favorite episodes so far

Now let's talk ep 11

Wow, just wow

I didn't think it could get any sadder.

The batch are supposed to leave Pabu but are prevented by the mysterious new clone soldier (who people believe to be Tech)

I myself also stand by that theory

This episode was just pure chaos for the bad batch

Seeing Wrecker hurt, Hunter working on his own, the blooming relationship between Omega and Crosshair.

Let's focus on the last thing acutally.

I've never really been a Crosshair fan but he's growing on me. Especially after how he his around Omega.

Their conversation at end about Omega's surrender and doing the right thing was just so ARGH!

LIKE HOLY SHIT!

Seeing Omega surrender and then just sitting completely alone on the imperial ship was just HEARTBREAKING

Seeing Crosshair miss with the tracking device also didn't help my mental health

OVERALL

These two episodes slapped!!

I can not wait until next Wednesday

Dave Filoni don't do this to me!!!

#star wars #the bad batch #review #star wars clones #clone force 99 #clone trooper crosshair #batcher #tbb omega #wrecker bad batch #tech bad batch #hunter bad batch #tbb echo #captain rex

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heartpascal · 1 year

Note

CHECK UNDER THE DOORMAT

(reader)

• memories - conan gray

"now i can't say, 'goodbye',

if you'll stay here the whole night,

you see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning,

over, and over again,

i promise that the ending always stays the same,

so there's no good reason in make-believing,

that we could ever exist again."

• already gone - sleeping at last

"i want you to know,

that it doesn't matter,

where we take this road,

but someone's gotta go,

and i want you to know,

you couldn't have loved me better,

but i want you to move on,

so, i'm already gone."

• requiem - laura dreyfuss, michael park, & jennifer laura thompson

"why should i have a heavy heart?

why should i start to break in pieces?

why should i go and fall apart for you?

why should i play the grieving girl and lie,

saying that i miss you,

and that my world has gone dark without your light?

i will sing no requiem tonight."

(joel)

• ghost of you - 5 seconds of summer

"so i drown it out like i always do,

dancing through our house with the ghost of you."

• somewhere only we know - keane

"oh, simple thing, where have you gone?

i'm getting old, and i need something to rely on,

so, tell me when you're gonna let me in,

i'm getting tired, and i need somewhere to begin,

and if you have a minute, why don't we go,

talk about it somewhere only we know?

this could be the end of everything."

• rescue - lauren daigle

"i will send out an army to find you,

in the middle of the darkest night,

it's true, i will rescue you."

• fourth of july - sufjan stevens

"did you get enough love, my little dove?

why do you cry?

and i'm sorry i left, but it was for the best,

though it never felt right,

my little versailles."

(tommy)

• you are enough - sleeping at last

"when we grew up, our shadows grew up too,

but they're just old ghosts that we grow attached to,

the tragic flaw is that they hide the truth,

that you're enough, you're enough, you're enough."

• talk to me - cavetown

"you don't have to be a prodigy to be unique,

you don't have to know what to say or what to think,

you don't have to be anybody you can never be,

that's alright, let it out, talk to me."

(jesse)

• open arms - jorge rivera-herrans & steven dookie

"this life is amazing when you greet it with open arms,

i see in your face, there is so much guilt inside your heart,

so why not replace it and light up the world,

here's how to start,

greet the world with open arms."

• this side of paradise - coyote theory

"are you lonely? (are you lonely?),

our fingers dancing when we meet,

you seem so lonely (are you lonely?)."

(reader and jesse)

• better in stereo - liv & maddie

"when you say yeah, i say no,

when you say stop,

all i wanna do is go, go, go!

you,

the other half of me,

the half i'll never be,

the half that drives me crazy."

• brother - kodaline

"if i was dying on my knees,

you would be the one to rescue me,

and if you were drowned at sea,

i'd give you my lungs so you could breathe,

i've got you, brother."

HOWL!!! sobbing. heartpascal works hard but h-owlpost works HARDER. every time. i’m literally gonna scream and cry hello????

memories by conan gray: literally perfect. those EXACT lyrics are so so fitting. like r might’ve been ok eventually if joel and ellie had never come back, but now that they’re in jackson, she just can’t move on 😭

already gone: has me hollering and screaming and yelling and in pain. as well the lyrics “remember all the things we wanted, now our memories are haunted” HHHHHH this whole song is SO PERFECT HOWL STOP IT RN.

requiem: A BRAND NEW SONG FOR ME. oh my god. oh my god? i cannot articulate this one. *

i love ghost of you but my attention is stolen by somewhere only we know: I HAVE KNOWN THIS SONG FOREVER AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK. it’s so perfect. it’s too perfect. HELLO???? “i’m getting old and i need something to rely on” JOEL MY BELOVED 😭 *

rescue: oh yes. this song is so joel miller coded.

FOURTH OF JULY IS OUT OF POCKET I AM GLING TO SCREAM!!!!! *

cavetown is so so close to my heart. i cant even tell you. “it’s so dark tonight, but you’ll survive, certainly. it’s alright, come inside and talk to me” i am yelling so so loudly *

open arms is so good for jesse and r. I LOVE HOW ITS UPBEAT AND AND AND. also i think it is so reader and jesse coded with how different they are. LIKE R WOULD DEFINITELY BE MORE DEFENSIVE!!! at least at their ages rn, whilst jesse is like. dude relax 🙄 *

this side of paradise: yes. and “IF YOURE LONELY COME BE LONELY WITH ME!!!” need i say more.

BAHAHA BETTER IN STEREO IS SO THEM I LOVE IT. maybe one of my FAVOURITE CHOICES EVER. they are both menaces to each other it’s TRUE.

BROTHER: this one. this one. i love this song so much. this is them. THIS ONE. if i could choose any song it’d be this one. *

#heartpascal says #howl <3 #ok i couldn’t help myself this time #HAD TO COMMENT ON EACH SONG #THEY ARE SUCH GOOD CHOICES #I LOVE SO MANY OF THESE #AND SOME NEW ONES TOO???#AND YET THEY STILL FIT SO WELL???????#howl #i’m going to cry #also i love how every time you sign off with a different pedro pascal gif AHAHA #not the agent whiskey one #he’s so <3 #also the * are my favourites #as you can see #there’s a lot

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pickinglilahs · 4 months

Text

My Boys Ch 6.9

AO3 link, Chapter 1 Ch 6; Ch 8; (2.2K)

Haze had just about sobbed themself out in Draco's arms when Hermione's patronus appeared. Both turned at the pale glow that appeared through the door.

The otter swam up and asked, "Draco, is Haze with you? Neither of you are here yet, and while I'd like to think the two of you are in a closet somewhere, I'm a bit worried. Send a patronus back either way." The glowing creature dissolved.

Haze leaned back to wipe their eyes and Draco pursed his lips.

Sniffling and completely ignoring the 'closet' comment, Haze looked up, silently asking for Draco to do it for them.

Draco's brow crunched helplessly, "I can't."

Haze frowned up at him, confused. After a beat, their expression softened in understanding. "I-I-I'll-I'll teach y- I'll teach you."

Draco arched a skeptical brow, shame buried beneath it. "I don't know if I can..."

Haze wiped their cheeks one last time before straightening. Their voice was a bit rough, but teaching was one of their strong suits, as were patronuses, "Of course, you can. Y-You know the theory, right?"

Draco nodded hesitantly, not at all believing Haze could actually teach him. But then, he had doubted Haze countless times and had always been surprised.

"Wonderful. The-The reason the charm is so difficult for people, I think, is-is-is-is-is because they either don't choose the right kind of memory, or-or they focus too much on the memory itself, and not the emotion. So, they don't let it fill them properly before trying to cast."

Draco nodded slowly again, trying to follow.

"Most textbooks will tell you that you need a happy memory to cast a patronus, but that isn't strictly true."

Draco frowned. "Huh?"

"Think of it this way, the patronus is an anti-dementor, yeah?" They waited for Draco to nod. "Dementors don't just take away happiness though. They take away hope, love, vitality, etcetera. And-And-And-And a patronus can be fueled by any of those emotions, they just have to be strong enough."

Draco's eyes lit with understanding. "The emotion just has to be positive."

"Exactly. The second, and arguably harder part, is letting the emotion fill you completely. Most people tell you to choose a memory because we attach emotions to them. It's easier to remember feeling something than to tell ourselves to feel it, especially in-in-in the face of danger. And it can't just fill your head or your chest. You have to feel it in your bones, head to foot. So, you have to choose something you've felt consume your whole being."

Haze closed their eyes, taking a deep breath in. As the air filled them, they imagined the electricity of Draco's touch moving to every cell in their body once more. On the exhale, they whispered the incantation.

Wand still in their pocket, the silver glow burst straight from Haze's chest to fly around the room. No longer a stag, the light settled into a phoenix and landed on the back of the chair beside them.

The bird dimmed as a sob built in Haze's throat but brightened again as Draco tightened his arms around them once more. Swallowing hard, Haze told the bird, "F-Find Hermione. We're fine, but-but-but-but I'm-I'm teaching Draco to cast a-a patronus." The bird cocked its head at them, then took off.

Draco wasn't sure what to say but felt the need to break the silence before Haze spiraled. "You didn't know it changed."

It wasn't a question, but Haze shook their head dazedly anyway. Weakly, "Haven't cast since-" Their throat closed off, unable to finish. They didn't need to, but Draco was surprised when they managed to continue. "The-The stag—m-my first- my first patronus—was my dad. He-He-He-He was a stag, a-an-an animagus. And-and-and-and-and his patronus was one too." Haze had thought they were all cried out, but another rolled down their cheek.

Draco pulled them in again and kissed their head. "It was your link to him. Made you feel like he was still a part of you."

Haze choked on a sob and nodded into his shoulder. He ran his hand through their hair.

"You wanted to be like him, to preserve his memory."

Haze nodded again. Heart simultaneously clenching and feeling lighter as Draco put words to their feelings.

"But you're not your father."

Haze pulled back suddenly to look at him, another sob wracking them as they frowned at Draco.

"You're you, Haze." Draco brought a hand up to their cheek, brushing away the tears. "Just because you're becoming yourself doesn't mean your father isn't still with you, isn't still a part of you. He always will be, whether your patronus reflects that or not."

Another sob broke loose, but, now, there was gratitude mixed with the grief. They threw their arms around Draco's neck, holding tight, trying to express everything they couldn't say.

Draco understood. He held them tight once more, kissing their head before resting his cheek on their hair, the hand from their cheek moving to tangle back in the locks.

As they sat, Draco's mind wandered to what emotion he could feel that would be strong enough.

Pain. But that wasn't positive.

Fear. Also not helpful.

Haze sniffled against him, and he wondered.

The blind rage that had filled him earlier.

The panic that had him knocking over his chair in the library to get to Haze's side.

The all-consuming need to hold Haze. To make sure no one ever hurt them again.

Draco let the feeling swell. He wasn't sure what to call it, but it was definitely strong. Focusing on the way it had blinded him earlier, how it had filled him in the library, how good it felt to be holding Haze now.

He moved the hand from Haze's hair to pull his wand from his pocket. Draco took a deep breath, just as Haze had done, letting it fill him. On the exhale, Draco said the words.

A blinding light burst from his wand, somewhere between shield and corporeal.

As suddenly as it came it vanished, the feeling leaving Draco just as swiftly. He frowned but looked to see Haze's brilliant smile turned up at him.

"I knew you could do it."

Draco's frown deepened. "But I didn't. And I couldn't hold it long at all."

Haze shook their head, exasperated. "Of course not. But do you think I did that well on my first try? That was incredible!"

Pride swelled in Draco's chest at the praise. Yet, "Why did the feeling leave so quickly? It slipped away like silk."

Haze tilted their head, considering. "Probably just need practice. It takes a lot of emotion to produce a patronus, and even more to sustain one."

Draco nodded, thinking back to the emotion, wanting to try again. Haze had other ideas. They wiped their face with their sleeve and climbed off of Draco's lap. They stepped back and held out a hand for Draco.

Draco ignored the hand and reached over to straighten their skirt, pulling it down a bit. Haze went to turn away as they felt the heat rising up their neck and cheeks, but Draco took their hand, kissing their cheek as he stood.

Haze walked off, trying to suppress the blush and dragging Draco behind them. "Come on. You need to show Hermione. She's going to be so jealous. Took her ages to get it down."

They collected their bags—which had been abandoned in the hall—and made their way to the library, hand-in-hand. Haze led Draco down the corridors and through the library, to the back table where they had taken to working on Draco's project. That had been their initial plan for the evening, but, clearly, they would have to work another time.

They found Hermione chewing on the end of a biro, obviously worried about Haze's new patronus and stressed about not knowing where the two of them had gone.

As soon as she saw them, Hermione leapt from her chair and barreled into Haze. She squeezed them tight, barely giving them time to hug her back before she was pulling away. Putting both hands on their cheeks, she took in their still-red eyes and contradicting smile.

"What happened?"

Haze's grin widened and they pulled away. Setting their stuff down and flopping into a chair, they looked to Draco. "Show her."

He balked. "N-Now? I-I don't think-"

"Show me what?" She looked between the two as she went back to her own seat.

Draco slowly came to sit as well, apprehension written in every line of his body.

Haze held a hand out for him to take as he sat, "Sit down and focus." They turned to Hermione, fingers lacing with Draco's under the table. "So, Draco got into a fight-"

"Hey!"

"-Defending me." Haze glared at Draco, obviously implying that he should be concentrating. Neither heard Hermione's gasp, she knew the terms of Draco's parole. "And I switched our wands when no one was looking. So, when I told McGonagall and Flitwick that I was the one who jinxed those idiots, 'my' wand was the one that regurgitated the spells."

"And McGonagall believed that?" Hermione was dumbfounded.

Haze snorted. "No. Course not. And the wimps on the floor said it was Draco too. But Draco cast two shield charms before any hexes, clearly showing that he didn't start the fight. And everyone agreed that he was defending me. So, she let him off with a warning."

Hermione's disbelief morphed into relief. "Wow. Lucky you showed up then."

Haze shrugged. "McGonagall's fair above all else. I'm sure she would have checked his recent spells before pursuing any action either way."

"Still, altercations of any kind are against his parole. To get off with a warning? That was all you Haze. She might be fair to everyone else, but you truly are her favorite."

Haze's grin was part sheepish, part pleased.

"So, what happened then? I waited as long as I could stand before I sent the patronus, but sorting that out couldn't have taken that long, did it?"

Haze pursed their lips, not quite sure how much they were willing to divulge. "Draco and I... talked... for a bit. I- um... I told him a-about, uh... About the-the Dursleys a-and-"

Hermione reached across the table for their hand. Letting them know she understood. Haze squeezed back, appreciatively.

"S-So-So th-then, when y-your patronus came I-I-I, uh, wasn't really..." She squeezed their hand again and they gave her a weak smile.

"And Draco couldn't send one for you, which is why it took so long for you to send one back." Haze nodded, grateful for how intuitive she always was. "And... Did you, uh... Did you know that it had...?"

Haze shook their head, throat feeling tight again, prickles building behind their eyes and down their nose. "B-But we, uh," they turned to look at Draco, who was already looking at them.

As their eyes met, Draco raised his wand and cast. The patronus still wasn't quite corporeal, but it lasted much longer than it had the last time.

Hermione gasped and Haze grinned.

After almost 15 seconds, the glow dimmed and went out. Draco frowned in frustration, but Haze squeezed his hand, beaming.

"And that's only the second time he's cast it!" Haze turned their brilliant smile on Hermione, whose shock was suddenly layered with envy.

"You're kidding."

Haze shook their head, grin turning teasing. "Careful, Mione, you've got competition."

She scoffed, trying to brush it off. "Draco has always been at the top of the grade with me. It's hardly a surprise he's done well with this; especially since he had you teaching him one-on-one."

Haze's smile turned bashful.

"Yeah, I should probably thank you for besting me all these years." Draco was looking at Hermione, a strange bitterness and... gratitude? laced through his tone. "Getting out-shown by a muggle-born in every subject made my father so proud."

Hermione paled. "Oh. I'm sor-"

Draco cut her off with a wave of his hand. Genuinely, "Really. Thank you. It may have been awful when we first started school but now... I think it made it easier to see that I would never be enough for him. Even if I had beaten you, he still would have found something."

Haze squeezed his hand and Draco squeezed back, shooting them a sad smile. He wasn’t sure what brought this sudden need to divulge about. Draco had never talked about his father—to anyone—but he felt Hermione, of all people, deserved an explanation. Needed to know how much he'd changed. Would understand. Even if he had already apologized to her at length, part of him felt he would never stop trying to make amends.

"I mean, I know that he did what he thought was best for me, but it wasn't for me. Not really. He was always more worried about the Malfoy name and making sure I wouldn't ruin our reputation."

Hermione reached a hand out to him. He took it, squeezing back gently.

"He deserves to rot in Azkaban for everything he's done. If they had given him anything less than a life sentence I-" Draco looked away, not really sure where that sentence was going.

Hermione squeezed his hand one last time before pulling back. She checked her watch and looked back to her homework. Sighing, "I think we should call it; dinner will be starting soon."

Haze and Draco nodded and waited for Hermione to gather her things. Then the trio set off down to the Great Hall.

So much change, in such short a time.

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