#like i think ppl have the right to do cringe shit and i wont make fun of them for it as long as they arent actively bugging me.

[zemnarihah]

i rlly am gonna lose it one day on one of these fandom bloggers who put their shipping content in band tags WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT

#i get it like the post is always abt how like. just like heaven is sooooo byler or whatever. but i just. why not JUST put that in the #directly relevant tags. i do not want to see it #do u know what i saw today on my very own dashboard. rick and morty art. shipping content. in the black sabbath tab bc it vaguely reference #iron man. i replied and politely asked if it needed to be in that tag and they got pissy w me lol #ive done that before mainly w stranger things blogs bc for some reason they are ALWAYS in the cure tag and they always like very sheepishly #apologize and take it out of the tag bc they like. know. that its annoying #I WAS NICE TOO like i didnt even make fun of them for posting rick and morty shipping art which i had every right to do bc it was very much #out of their lane #like i think ppl have the right to do cringe shit and i wont make fun of them for it as long as they arent actively bugging me. #but it was very much actively bugging me and i was STILL NICE #like i feel like as a rick and morty fan in the year of our lord two thousand and twenty three u have to have some sense of self awareness #right? but i guess not. i mean i guess everyone left has literally no shame #anyway after that interraction i just sighed and blocked them and moved on and literally one scroll later what do i see. a post #abt how just like heaven is soooooo byler #in my dash bc its in the cure tag. #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! #die one thousand deaths!

[thetonethetollandthethunder]

Scythe chapter 11-15

You know the drill!! Cmon!!!

—

Chapter 11!!

-I always forget the conclave’s have names,,,

-The thing is, you can never blame these people for fighting back, it’s human nature, but OUGH the consequences of human nature are so devastating

-But just imagine the guilt you’d feel, your husband got killed and you get immune from the same fate for a whole year. That’s just prime for survivors guilt

-Also the fact that Faraday told the family the man didn’t resist is just testament to his kindness and compassion

-“The sanctity of the law…And the wisdom to know when it must be broken.” *Stares at Goddard*

-MILK SCENE, I unironically love this scene even tho I think it’s really funny

-Also I genuinely don’t know how ppl drink milk b4 bed, is that even a real thing? How does that make you sleepy??

-Also good on Faraday!! Don’t waste shit!!!

-Apparently all the Scythe Rings are white but I refuse to acknowledge that, they’re all multicolored and each color relates to the scythe in some way <3

-That ring security system Faraday has going on is sick as fuck tho ngl

-“Now let’s see how long it takes Rowan to go for the ring.” I love himmmm, he’s fun!!! He can be fun!!

-Tonist mention!! I love the Tonists <33

-Nice chapter!! Gives more depth to Faraday!!

—

Chapter 12!!

-Rowan and Citra’s test are approaching!!!

-The idea of having to hold yourself back in life because you’re afraid of being killed is actually terrifying—

-Also same Rowan, I hate studying too

-“Rowan concluded that not knowing was more terrifying than knowing.” If I remember correctly what the consequence is then that is CERTAIN true

-I LOVE Citra and Rowan’s banter here!! You can see their chemistry early on!!

-UGH I WONT LIST OUT ALL THE MOMENT BUT THEYRE SO CUTE!!!

-Cute chapter! Lots of Citran moments!

—

Chapter 13!!

-“I’m a human being, not a mole.” Faraday is soooo fun sometimes like so fun and endearing???

-“Destroyed back in the age of mortality by something called ‘terrorism’.” OKAY SO YES THIS DOES GIVE US A LOT TO THINK ABOUT IN TERMS OF WHAT PEOPLE HERE KNOW ABOUT THE AGE OF MORTALITY BUT ALSO THAT IS RLLY FUCKING FUNNY SOOO

-I too hate walking at 6:30 am (I go to public school in America)

-“I have found that with the Scythedom, it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission,” He is iconic yall

-“What’s the worst they could do?” Things said before disasters—

-“Running the gauntlet” Like walking the red carpet!

-“Scythes wished to be seen as the many faces of light, not of darkness.” And soon they will be! Yk, just right after the plague—

-SCYTHE CURIE OMG OMG!!

-OO now they’re seeing scythe goddard ohoho I LOVE HAVING FORESIGHT

-Citra would cringe at the fact she at one point dazzled by goddard

-Rowan don’t be fatphobic /j

-I like that the conclave’s are pretty boring for the most part, makes it feel more realistic

-I love how only when Citra becomes a Scythe does she begin to understand these rituals, shows how much she grows

-OHOHO we got goddards fuckin note bullshit! Citra is gonna hear allll about that when she becomes a scythe

-Love how Chomsky is basically described as “as white as anyone could be” lmaoo token white man

-also gun lobby, nothing to say about it just…Gun lobby

-Rowan starting to talk like faraday is GOLD

-Again I love Citra and Rowan’s banter

-SCYTHE CURIE

-The idea of the weaponsmaster being a infomercial salesman is SOO funny i need to use that in my scythe oc shit

-Also that digital poison sounds fucking TERRIFYING

-The Scythes not liking the term ‘victim’ is rlly interesting to me, shows they really think of themselves as these faces of light

-Neal I don’t think you know what feminine hygiene products sound like—

-Hand of midas shit but even MORE horrifying!!

-I am terrible with names I saw Scythe Mandela and thought he was Scythe Possuelo and I have no idea why

-Who names their child Ransom??

-VERY good and long chapter!! Two more to go!!

—

Chapter 14!!

-OOO the test scene!! One of my favorites!!

-SCYTHE CURIE

-Again what is with the shit names??? Jacory??

-OHH you do NOT interrupt scythe curie girl you are FUCKED

-Oh Citra you’re gonna revisit the worst thing you’ve ever done REALLL soon

-ROWAN LOSING ON PURPOSE FOR CITRA IS SOOOO!!!

-GODDAMN IT RAND I LOVE YOU BUT STOP

-AND THE TENSION THICKENS WITH THE ADDED RULE OF THEM HAVING TO KILL THE OTHER OH MY GOD ITS STILL GOOD MAN!!

-We all want a relationship with the thunderhead Curie

-Very good chapter that adds to the stakes of the story!! One more to go!!!

—

Chapter 15!!!

-God the shock and confusion and how upset they all are really captivates this conversation

-And you see that eventually Rowan is very willing to die at the hands of Citra, that’s how much he loves her like UGHH

-“Scythes were supposed to be above the petty,” oh citra you have no idea bby girl,,

-Hash pales!!!

-THE KISS SCENE

-Ive already went in depth about why I love this scene in my Citran analysis post but UGH I LOVE ITT

-Liar!! You are totally in love rowan!!

-GODDARD THE BASTARD

-God he is such a fucking dick i hate himmm

-Very good chapter :)

—

AND THATS THE NEXT 5!!! Next time we’ll do chapters 16-20!

#the tone speaks #arc of a scythe #rowan damisch #citra terranova #scythe faraday #scythe curie #scythe goddard

[delusional-mishaps]

well guys. since i missed epic's birthday (devastating) have some headcanons :)

he is one of those weaboos who learned japanese so he can watch anime "the authentic way" (his words)

so he's fluent in japanese 💀 he literally only learned it for anime but dude was DEDACTED

he's so cringe guys 😭 i can say that. he's my boyfriend i love him

he would adore those cute anime girl v-tubers. like not in a weird way but he'd watch a lot of them

HE PLAYS GENSHIN 💀 he'd probably main beidou or raiden shogun/ei.. maybe run a full electro team with miko and fischl too 😭 (fischl is his fave character he loves her backstory and her bird thing idk i dont use fischl 💀) he loves the electro characters for some reason idk

HE HAS THE WORST LUCK ON THIS GAME THO. bro has c6 diluc (me too ☹️) and all his artifacts SUCK ASS even tho he'll grind every day

he has to spend money on every banner because he always loses his 50/50 and only gets high pity

ok enough genshin headcanons he's cringe we know this

im here ranting about a game i hate because my dumb boyfriend plays it so much

he hangs out with cross a lot ofc BUT

whenever he hears the word cross used in any context he turns to cross like "CROSS????? BRUH THATS YOU!!" (i always make these jokes. im projecting)

cant believe jesus died on his best friend fr... LMAOOO

he speedruns minecraft. he's NOT GOOD AT IT. but he can do it

he's had his speedruns ruined by creepers like 7 times

one time he somehow got into the deep dark and got killed by the warden??? idk what bro was doing down there in a speedrun dawg 😭

sorry he's a gamer in my head but hes really bad at every game he plays (just like me fr)

he sleeps under like 6 different weighted blankets in the hopes that he wont thrash around when he sleeps but he's too strong and ends up tossing them all off his bed 😭

bro needs to be CRUSHED to fall asleep!! he literally cant fall asleep without the weight

not that he likes to sleep anyway because of the nightmares but whatever. hes gotta do it. unfortunately.

he fights in his dreams ofc thats like canon but bro is throwing punches in his sleep fr

if he gets a partner (me fr!!) they gotta sleep in a different ROOM 😭 he is taking NO CHANCES and tbh thats so fair i wouldnt wanna wake up being beaten up by my bf

he is so ipad baby-core <3 he'll just watch youtube on his ipad all day if u let him but he's an old man and needs his spectacles otherwise he's holding it at arm's length 💀

don't forget bro is literally a doctor?? he's SO smart but he uses his goofy persona as a cover up

im convinced like most of the people that know him actually dont know this. they all think hes dumb as bricks 💀

them he'll casually say smth super smart and everyone is like ???????? HELLO??? SINCE WHEN DID UR BRAIN WORK??

i love drawing epic with glasses guys he looks so cute. but he has old man reading glasses

this the typa shit he wears

AND HE FUCKING. anime glasses 😭

like yk how ppl in anime push glasses up

him fr

AUUGH WHY IS HE SO CRINGE I NEED TO CRUSH HIM

he actually needs his glasses all the time but he doesnt like to look like a NERDD so he doesnt wear them

he makes cross read everything for him

they go out to eat and gotta make him read the whole menu otherwise hes holding it 2cm from his face 💔

"whatd that sign say i cant read it"

"dude the letters are huge how cant you read it"

"oh lol i need my glasses my bad bruh"

"YOU ARE DRIVING A CAR RIGHT NOW????"

actually he cant legally drive. because thats funnier than if he could

id still be his passenger princess <3 i refuse to get my license

anyway guys isnt my boyfriend so silly

im so tiredni needto seelp goodnight smooork mimimumumu

its 3am i neednto get up in 5 hours naioiiooooooo

goodbye guys enhjoy my boyfrien mdgrf

#count how many times i project onto epic challenege #headcanon #undertale headcanon #epic #epic sans #epic headcanon #bruh idk how to tag stuff i dont make real posts anymore 😭 #jester writes

[toadstool32]

tiny i really have to ask you what you see in the anime Beatles dudes. why are you so hot for them (this is lighthearted, you do you)

this was the funniest thing i could wake up to, ty anon

as for the question..."what do i see in them " hmmmm well i come from the homestuck background so im sure i could find a rock hot if u gave it enough personality tbh

Which the sextuplets have a lot of! (incredibly so!)

also the way the question is framed implies that i wanna get it on with all six of them, which is also funny, but im only gunning for the one, i swear.

why am i so hot for this guy..... thats a good question..... im not sure...

ok well one hes so fail he tries so hard to be "the cool one" and constantly fucks it up, hes self proclaimed "a sinful man, a guilt guy" what the fuck does that mean hes so stupid i want him so bad, one of his brothers told him he was painful (read cringe as fuck) and his response was that he didnt want to hurt anyone bc he loved them all 8RRRRAAAUAGHHHH)

TWO hes like, blue, i like blue guys :3

^^^what the fuck is he doin

also the oso merch is like, they REALLY want you to choose one of them to love forever and ever and they keep putting out cute designs to make u want to hold them and its.working, sadly

listen every brother is kind of a shithead and awful in theyr own right if they were real guys i would (thinks about the live action movie) sorry i cant say suddenly, anyway, i suffer from karamatsu girls and boys disease which was caused by the fact that he was the punching bag in S1 and i NEVER recovered.

^^^the face of someone who just realized his brothers care more about pears than saving him from dying at sea/burned at a stake

by season 2 they started bullying totty instead of karamatsu and the way they made it up to him was that he suddenly is like, more silly??? you could say painful but the skits (THIS IS A SKITS ANIME WHY AM SO INTO THAT) make it like, haha remember the whole bullying karamatsu joke, hes on it now, and hes making it yr problem, he lears to fucking be more cringe n shit so ppl leave him alone, by season 3 they make hi even more of a bitch its GREAT

hes feral he bites he scratches but he wont bc hes kind of a pushover, no joke karamatsu would be so cute wait not cute im delusional he would be so cool if he stoped trying so hard but he puts his own face on his shirts and that kinda makes him a loser

i was gonna lookin for another picture but what the fuck is this,

what the fuck where was i , hes a bitch he does not care about shit unless its funny theres a bit of infor where when asked about osomatsu (the oldest) hes like hes shitty at being the eldest when he fails irrevocably then i will have to step up i love, shitty eldests bickering <3 theres this running gag where choromatsu trips n falls and karamatsu goes like CHOROMATSU ILL SAVE YOUUUUUU BUT HE JUST???KEEPS RUNNING AWAY???? FAKE ASS,now that i realize this karamatsu is the fakest around choro lolmao like that bit where choromatsu was like hey what do u think i should in the future and that bitch did Not Wanna be involved and yet he went all "follow ur dreams i support u!!!" and then left dead faced i love his mean girls and fake bitches.

coughs also he gives me the stronges vibes of someone who could have a gender/sexuality crisis and i could be the one who makes him realise <losing touch with reality by the second,

anyway i got distracted look i made a mspaint thing

TL;DR: I JUST LIKE THE ONE DUDE

#COUGHS #ask #ac #anyway #tiny cringe comp

[insanebirddog]

I hate when people are like "others say they depressed as kids but when i was a kid all i cared about was legos"

This isnt directed at anybody, but i am so gen SICK of hearing this bullshit, so heres a rant on what i think. Small little warning it IS cringe.

ALSO TW There is small mentions of things like abuse, neglect, and child harm. If these may be triggering dont read this.

Cool dude, cool. I remember crying on the playground on multiple occasions bc it i was coming to the realization that no one, not even my family actually cared about me. I was thinkin about how i was completely alone, and how i was basically an observer. I came to terms with my 'quiet dude in the corner no one talks to and forgets is there' role in like 2nd or 3rd grade, and i cried in the car because even then i knew everyone i cared about was gonna leave me but yeah bro, rock on, i love legos.

I mean, its almost like kids can have bad lifes? OMG! CHILDREN HAVE PROBLEMS?! type shit annoys me. Just because someone is young, think any age of minor doesnt mean that they dont have something going on in life and it certainly doesn't mean you should belittle literal CHILDREN for being self aware about how bad their situation is. Thats how you get kids like me, i have such little confidence i cant tell you a SINGLE thing without being like 'but dont quote me haha!' like, i could just point at a cat and be absolutely sure it IS a cat and tell you 'oh hey thats a cat, but dont quote me bc idk' instead of being a dick to children who tell you somethings wrong you should idk, use your fucking ears and listen to em? Like, thats what you have ears for right? I could outright tell people that i was neglected as a kid and they'll be like 'your still just a kid, you dont know what neglect is' like yeah yeah cool, wasnt starved, didnt get medically neglected, totally got all the emotional support i needed and wasnt just ignored or literally beaten for having any type of emotion sure. Ppl act like they know EVERYTHING, invalidate you, mock ya, belittle you and then when you tell them the details they go all "sorry i didnt know" yeah, you didnt. So why were you such a fuckin dick abt it? Why did you all high and mighty go "I KNOW BETTER THEN U!" if you knew nothing?

Like, the fuckin legos statement. Does no one realise people can have VERY different childhoods? and that truama actually EFFECTS PEOPLE? like holy shit! that traumatized boy acts traumatized! why would he do that? its not like IM traumatized so why would he act that way?! like im very happy that you werent treated like garbage as a kid, atleast some parents still treat their kids with respect and not everyone in the world suffered like i did but jesus fucking holy hell get your shit together, you dont have to be a dickface just bc youre not traumatized.

SAME FUCKING THING WITH PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY DONT BELIEVE IN MENTAL HEALTH. Like we have FUCKING EMOTIONS. How do you not believe in LITERAL EMOTIONS??? like you even see it in animals, you beat an animal enough for doing something they wont do it anymore bc you traumatized the fuckin animal, you see literal evidence of it everywhere. People show signs of being traumatized and then these fuckwads r all "UR BEING DRAMAITC!!!!!1!1!11!1!!!1!!!11" and then they'll go and mention how their parents slapped them once and they werent traumatized, like sorry that happened to you dude, but that is not at all anything like being beaten everytime you cry. They make huge problems out to be the tiniest of bumps in the road like they turn a moutain into a pebble all bc "they were being dramatic-" ever heard of people not lying? like, theres people out in the world that dont lie about or exaggerate their trauma, i literally in my 17 yrs of life not met a single person who does that. I bet those people exist, and i feel bad that thats the only way they feel they'll be taken seriously or the only way anyone would care. We focus a LOT on those type of people, and i get why but that doesnt mean EVERYONE who talks abt being truamatized is exactly the same.

Theres a large list of types of people i dont like, and these are just two of them. But, i dont want to keep writing abt this bc as i mentioned before i literally have zero confidence in myself and will stop while im still comfty enough to post this.

Also, can someone help me understand tags m lost [new to tumblr dweebis]

#im mentally ill #i hate it here #trauma

[qualityrain]

Do you have any hc on ana's relationship with the other members of the snow lotus squad? I personally think that ana was close with her first squad but not with the second.

Also, if they had more time to interact, what kind of relationship would owl and mei had?

im going to be honest ive never thought abt it until now 😭 i mean it makes sense she was closer w her old one considering it was only a year ish or else when she became the leader of the new one. (i do not know anything abt how valk school or how squads work) I think she stayed in snow lotus squad since she was 12? and grew and fought with the others and she was 16 and became the adjutant and she really looked up to the leader and they never really had anything go badly and if it did the leader was there to fix it(i think ana just did whatever the leader told her too)and the squad could go through it together anyway right!!!! cut to all of them dying in manila

i wish there was more said abt her afterwards because she basically just lost like her friends and family but she has her bio fam looking out for her and like the other valks to support her. idk abt her new squad shes probably rlly protective of them because she can’t let what happened in manila happen to them again!! cut to all of them dying because of honkai (i acrually do not rmb if ppl made it out alive. idt dudu/rita/Alvitr said anything abt it) (i wish there was more of her thoughts abt becoming a herrscher and the whole situation like i think it would be interesting!!! BUT NOOOOOO STAY IN A COMA I GUESS)

i cant decide on what rs mei and owl would have because i cant decide on whats funniest. the raven mei owl dynamic is my fav in the entire game i want them to become a wack ass found family (delusional). i think b4 coral arc if mei and owl ever met and spent more time tgt their interactions would just be like how mei interacrs w kevin its just the “….” dialogue for five hours. theyre both perfectly fine not talking to each other but i think owl would be the one she would ask if she wanted answers because yk how kevin wont say shit and raven has double meanings and tries to fight her every time i think owl gives her answers no double meaning no underlying motive. he has no business with mei and he doesnt give two shits.

i think after coral arc if owl survives i cant chose between mei being a bitch to him like how she is to raven or being normal w him because raven would be annoyed i think the latter is funnier but i think more ppl should be a annoying to owl because hes so rude for no reason LMFAO. i think mei would be slightly protective of him because yk theyre parallels of each other and she is the older one and maybe she teaches him abt herrscher powers also i think owl treats her nicely because shes not annoying like raven (affectionate) and she now knows his cringe backstory.

#asks #im rlly tired lmfao sorry if its cringe exams r killing me #cori-randomstuff #actually fucked up of mhy to literally show the image of kiana knocked out on the roof #next to anas HoI when her mask breaks like OKKKKKKK #when i say owl treats mei nicely i mean like the Bare Minimum of not being a bitch to her #and maybe a bit of care TM #unless mei drops the tough girl act #i think #idk my thoughts will change on this because my brain is mush rn #also i think mei. doesnt approve of his choices in life. #but she also understands. #u can tell i think more abt owl but I swear i like ana #i make up for it by drawing way more ana than owl 👍

[clulessmess]

ohhhhhh my fucking god.

I need to get around to making that neocities.

EDIT: um. Ok. Accidentally Posted a vent mid typing

I dont feel like retyping any of that so ill just edit this in the morning since its getting late

So yeah here i go free write venting sawry <3

Just gettin them (unfinished) feelings out

fyi recently decided to check out what neocities is abt after hearing friends gushing abt it n after scrolling around sites I got hyped n decided to make my own neocities after I realized this could possibly solve all my problems sdhkhkfgd

first of all,

............. not to bring this up for the 7848234th time but. yeah Im still having spiraling thoughts abt my girl + the AU. Yes, as I said earlier the intensity of those spirals have died down significantly. but unfortunately its still there, at the back of my mind. and uh oh!!!!!!!!!! unfortunately theres days where it spikes!!!! and frankly brothers i cant take these thoughts anymore,, i need a place to get the fuck away from social media 

I honestly feel thats the reason why I have these thoughts. I haaaate having to fucking overthink posting anything that could be percieved as cringe on my own fucking accounts to prevent the possibility that it could be the post could have me marked as a sort of “lolcow” or laughing stalk known to the internet. I haaaaate that when I have to talk to ppl, fuck even my own online friends, i haveta be walking eggshells via the irony mask and hide shit bc if i feel if i do i have justify my stance to not be seen as cringe!!!!!! I haaaaaaaaaate this fucking terminally online paranoia!!!!!!!!

and I know me saying “I need to get away from social media, im growing paralyzingly sick from my chronically online brainrot” and proceeding to still do this in an another online public space instead of just simply just stop posting abt Her + the AU and maybe even mass delete anything abt them if theyre doing nothing but causing me stress is a weird decision.... but ok.. hear me out

as a creative, the alternative (just mass deleting + stop posting)  is just.....feels so alienating? Like we all crave..an audience??? idk how to fucking explain it but we all like the idea of at least a few ppl liking our stuff? And despite all this headache,,, i still care her 🥺

the thought that this thing I care abt, that I made with my own two hands, that I cannot ever show that to anyone.... thats devestating

I think the reason I keep spiraling is that I feel there is no safe space for me to post abt this. Perhaps specifically fear of the wrong type of ppl catching wind of it.

The current online landscape is fucking hell. Irony poisoned n the standards are so high, ppl will not put up with mediocrity or cringe and they will be LOUD and clear about that.

Not even tumblr is safe.

Neocities though, from what ive seen its the fucking safe haven for self indulgence. Its not uncommon for ppl to have these things called "shrines", a small subwebsite within a website commonly used to just like. Infodump abt whatever thing they like, often obscure and maybe a little "cringe" (i dont mean this to insult them but like. Yknow what i mean right)

Additionally, I wont have to worry about the Wrong People" finding out abt me and My Bullshit. Or most anyone discovering me and My Bullshit. Being into neocities is kinda a "niche", most ppl dont know anything abt neocities asides from programming nerds rlly nostalgic for the old days of the internet!

If anyone for whatever reads this made it this far... Yep. I finally actually went through with the decision of deleting any trace of her off both my tumblrs. I will no longer be talking about her on tumblr unless until this game releases.

Its the perfect place to hide her for now....

Besides, ive been let go of the only job my incompetent ass could ever do but probably still fucked up anyways.  Think I need a fucking hobby that could maybe double as a skill so. Why not dust off what little programming stuff I know and expand upon in it in case my moms right and I cant rlly get my art career to pop off

Though... I guess the one downside for this is that while I hopefully wont be able to directly recieve hate about the AU...I dont think I will be able to recieve any possible love for it either.

As much as i hate to sound like some attentionwhore, and as much as i had a crippling fear of being found out by the Wrong People... there is a small inkling hope and..curiosity for people that might like it

Again, neocities isnt well known. The one upside to me posting my GLITCHED shit on tumblr is that this is prrobably? The only place where GLITCHED has an actual fanbase on tumblr, so i could like get engagement (ugh.... Hate phrasing it like that. Like im sort of numbers obsessed influencer. But i cant think of what else to call it. The possibility of the fans + the rare outsider interacting n being able to read nice or funny little notes), so I highly doubt anyone is going to think to click on the link to my Gina shrine since GLITCHED isnt well known either once I finish my neocities. Even if someone was curious enough to find my website + the shrine n wanted to express that they liked it, Neocities doesnt have a built in system where people can send messages to the creator.

I am going to post the link to my neocities, since well. I know that there is a small few who did like her (or just appreciated the passion i had).

#namii finally speaks #sorry. vent(?) time. #i hate ppl <3 #i changed my mind bros its both a rb acc + personal acc #im not sure if this'll happen often but if this shits annoying to u. u can unfollow i promise i wont mind #or just block vent and rant bc i promise u. once this neocities fully set up u will never hear my mopey ass ever again #vent #rant #i hate u the negative and maybe even traumatic effects that was the 2016 art community i hate u post 2010s online culture i hate u adults

[autisticstarseed]

ok but lmao nts and allistic nds confessing their harsh completely unnecessary annoyance towards introverts and hyperempathetics and special interests is fully the UGLIEST trend rn like your shitty disability politics are making your activism-sona look absolutely septic pls get it checke d out it is Not normal and definitely not pro recovery or w/e to be bitter about ppl who cant function socially on the same level as you do it literally is not i promise you are Just a bad person with uncritical unfiltered bad opinions about disabled and nd traits 

#tw ableism/ // / #neg/ // / #original #anyways #nts and allistic nds u can rb but please dont add anything unless these traits apply to you (introvert hyperempathy special interest etc) #cuz to be perfectly blunt allistic nds is usually where these shit takes come from anyways like lmfao #ur not a doctor :))) dont talk to me about my 'health' i dont owe u the name of my psychiatrist u weird lil ableist #u dont need to get to analyze how i manage my symptoms daily like lmao how is that your idea of 'good social skills' thats WEIRD #yall dont even listen to disabled ppl anyways you literally do not fucking listen and its so ignorant and ugly and annoying like #u idiots still think resting is like some horrible thing and that if u go a day or two inside without a shower its like ur killing urself #and half of these ppl!!! are literal alcoholics and party addicts that wont realize it bc they dont care about THEIR unhealthy coping skills #bc they can appear normal and functioning they care about US bc it makes them PERSONALLY UNCOMFORTABLE like lmfao shut up #as an autistic person i think i more than have the right to sit u down and tell u why you need to get OVER yourself and stop whining so much #when it CONTRIBUTES TO MY OPPRESSION bc of the fucking stigma and prejudice thats already rampant and unstoppable like #im having to constantly fight for respect and you wanna be like this and get away with it bc jokes are more important to u than autistic ppl #idk do u think u can cope with MY disabled life can u handle not mocking traits correlating to vulnerable minority status or do u need a sec #bc u feel An Cringe when some guy with anxiety says hes not ready for college or a job like ik thats just INTOLERABLE or w/e but #make an effort queens!! like lmfAOOOOOO /wanna trade/??????????????????????

[crazygaysex]

incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte

i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.

honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense

also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better

butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man

#x #iasip #i need to go to slepep now

[littlebabycrybtch]

bitches say “liking [insert media name] isnt a personality” girl then why do u block anybody who likes [blank]. why do you literally in your mind kind of thinking liking certain medias, and not even the intentionally offensive ones but specifically like random mildly controversial netflix cartoons or w/e, defines someone elses personality enough to be openly and presumptuously hateful towards the entire group of ppl who enjoy a media. and why do you behave like you think enjoying moomin and hosier gives you a higher social media user score or w/e. like can i be real you ppl are not real and you’re never going to make being an unnecessary bitch into smth valid i dont know why u all try this hard to get away with that underdeveloped selfish personality shit lmfao, being cruel and hating everything isnt a personality either??? and copying every trend u see wont hide toxic behavior, literally whoever told u this annoying constantly draining bc ‘ur allowed to be’ bullshit is normal and valid is just equally toxic and surrounded by the normalization of garbagey unsympathetic toxic traits, its so self centered and uncharming that yall need to be validated for loudly disliking things so bad that u have to piggy back on real activism and make up justified tm reasons why you dont like smth and then try to manipulate others with it. fiction 100% affects reality but REALITY ALSO AFFECTS REALITY,,, IF YOU SPEND MORE TIME WHINING @ FANDOM PPL AND TRY TO GET THEM TO FEEL BAD FOR ENJOYING PROBLEMATIC MEDIA WHEN THE ACTUAL CREATORS ARE JUST OUT HERE WITH A DAMN PUBLIC TWITTER OR SMTH,,,,, UR BEING SO BLATANTLY PERFORMATIVE AND CRINGE CULTURE FOCUSED,,,, ffs like. pls just accept u cant make everybody think ur right on every single opinion u have bc not every opinion has a right or wrong answer. u cant just, FORCE IT to have one no matter how good you are at bandwagoning ppl. not every preference is moralistic and yall are NOT very convincing thats where ur dumbass cringe feels actually come from when all u portray is irrelevant meanspirited clownery!! ur just broken and boring in the head and think imagination is weird but liking shit is so normal my guy humans have made and emotionally attached to stories since forever lmfaooo its ok to discuss it with a full range of thoughts and feelings like god pls i hate social media hiveminds so bad . please stop being fake for 2 seconds pls stop thinking su and voltron and w/e the catradora one is are going to undo human rights . it rly doesnt matter that much and ppl that like these are not the devil and arent deserving of your unfiltered wrath its a fucking cartoon they are fucking cartoons that are 90% fine you batshit weirdo so stop wasting ur efforts. its embarrassing u think anybody believes u behave like this bc u care like. pls try to let this sink in under the funnyman brainwashing yall are trying daily to get hp urls to deactivate bc they read and liked a wizard story 10 yrs ago when jkr literally still has a public twitter where her actual transphobic statements exist and not slid in with a fantasy and hidden under subtext or w/e just actual out loud bigotry right over here like oh my god its maddening how worthless your actions are when u try to claim this blatantly self serving meanass shit matters more like i!!! wanna SCREAM you are so incredibly FAKE mam

#'ok but one of the shows u mentioned really IS bad to like and its bc-' that is so cool go tell the creator #bc i already have heard the arguments literally so many times i think they are burned into my ggoddamn BRAIN #i am not fucking STUPID i RECOGNIZE these they just dont meAN AS MUCH AS U WANT THEM TO LIKE SDFBSDHFJ #ITS JUST THAT IM NORMAL AND REALIZE OTHER SHIT MATTERS MORE... IM NOT ~DEFENDING PROBLEMATIC MEDIA~ #I JUST........ VOLTRON ISNT THE DEVIL HP IS A WIZARD STORY HAZBIN HOTEL EVEN IS NOT AS BAD AS VIVZIEPOP IS AS A PERSON #U LOOK FOR PROBLEMS IN STORIES BC ITS EASIER TO DISTANCE FROM A FANDOM AND MAKE JOKES... #THAN IT IS TO JUST.. LOOK AT REAL PPL WITH REAL WORLD POWER AND TALK ABT THEIR ACTUAL IMPACT.... #BUT DUDE.. IT MATTERS MORE THATS WHY ITS NOT AS ~~~~~FUN~~~~~~~ OR W/E #BLAMING PPL FOR ENJOYING A FANTASY CREATED BY A SHIT PERSON WITH LIKE 10-35% OF THEIR /REAL WORLD/ SHIT IN IT... #AND SPENDING MORE TIME DOING THAT THAN YOU DO GOING AFTER THE 100% BIGOT ASSHOLE IRL.... #THATS JUST..................................... I LITERALLY WANT TO SCREAM KSDJFJSF ITS SO STUPIDDD #yall hate fandoms bc cringe culture. u grasp for moral reasons to get away with it. and rn ur already lke #trying to think of how to twist this. ur like 'ill make it sound like theyre saying u cant critique cartoons at all and mention south park' #like..... i s2g ur brains are so copied off each other they work the same manipulative selfish way it is not hard to see thru it

[cosmosrival]

Any NSFW KamaxMaster hcs, Riri? Bless us with your knowledge!

HMMMMMM..... I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A LITTLE BIT and i don’t know if it’d count as master*servant ship headcanons but... TAKE EM!!

also jus to make sure and to get p*dos off my blog for good: these are milf/dilf kama headcanons ONLY !!! final ascension!!!!! my content aint for weirdos!!!

ok lets go!!!

kama as a lover would be... very interesting to say the least, bc since they’re the god of love, you’d expect them to play the part !!! but their kind of loving isn’t the romantic type. They’re the god of Carnal love so despite knowing everything there is to know about lust, i believe that they’d be genuinely embarrassed when talking about vanilla stuff and very very soft and tame topics. they’ll tell u about every single position u guys could do and if ure a beginner they’ll be more than happy to teach u everything they know! But ! going on dates and holding hands???? (kama voice) THATS CRINGE DUDE!!!!! GO ASK PARVATI HOW ABOUT THAT????? but they’ll come. they’ll have a bit of a breakdown if u hold their hand but they’ll be there. and they’ll be there on time

AND I THINK THAT THIS IS WHAT MAKES THEM CUTE !!!!! 

i headcanon kama as being a vers !!! but they top by default ! hell, i don’t see them being a pillow princess type, even when they’ll let you dominate them they’ll just be powerbottoming and praising you, i think they can’t hold back on being talkative during the act!! BUT THEY CAN ALSO VERY EASILY ADAPT TO THE PERSON THEY’RE WITH, so if you’re more of a beginner/shy/passive, they’ll be the one coming onto you in this... lazy way, gently Ordering you to show them more (oh yeah they’re very well aware that youre the master here but whats a master to a god? ha), reasurring you that it’ll be fine and that if you’d rather keep the lights off, you guys can do that. their hair glows and their limbs are constantly burning anyway so they’ll find you in the dark no problem. though if you’re more dominant/aggressive/comfortable then they’ll see you as a challenge, even a rival to be quite honest. they know for SURE that you’ll never be better than them, but might as well crush your hopes before they get too high ya know? so even if you have them pinned down they’ll just taunt you, ask if this is all that you’ve got. ask if you can hold on for a few more rounds. ego bruising is part of being horny !!!!!! so you better be ready !!!

kama’s buttons are overall easy to push i think, because if you choose to come onto them with vanilla little touches, cute smiles and cuddles, they won’t know how to react. THEY’RE EASY TO TEASE ONCE U’VE BROKEN PAST THIS... Strong Lusty Exterior, especially if you compliment them on anything else but their skills in bed. call em cute when they’re angry. this one is an instant kill because they’ll just... be stuck. if they get mad you’ll call them cute again. and if they don’t get mad then it’s your win. STUCK !!! and their face is RED 

hmmmm....... i think masc kama’s cum is galaxy liquid. its just regular old cum and tastes like it but it just has star/milky way patterns in it. yeah. dont ask me about this one. just take it.

i’ve also been thinking about masc kama having an apadravya piercing... even if kama themself does not have a link to the kamasutra since it’s a book about human pleasure, in chaldea they’re much closer to having the condition of a “human” since they’ve become a “pseudo-servant” (they also have a demon inside em aha! though they’re obviously still a God and should be treated as such) so despite knowing everything that’s said in the book, they’d love to boast about it. ITS NOT THEIRS BUT THEY LOVE ACTING LIKE IT IS!!! CAREFUL WHEN GOOGLING THAT PIERCING NAME THO !!! ITS A COCK PIERCING OOOPPPSSSS!!!!! tho of course, since they don’t technically have a body, they can remove this jewelry at will to satisfy you however u wish !!

my fem lean kama piercing headcanons are right here !!! same headcanon as above, they can remove em/make em disappear since they can shapeshift at will !! 

i don’t see them as the type to dress up.... first because it’s a little annoying and if their emotions go haywire the cloth might burn... but they can definitely see the appeal. their “body” is already perfect so if you have a kink for something in particular they’ll provide and make sure to hide the best parts so you’ll have to imagine the rest. (or take em off...? ;)

OH BUT YOU ? THEY’LL LOVE TO DRESS YOU UP especially if they’re topping. it’s all part of their sadistic little humiliation game so make sure to accept all of their love okay?

their relationship with masters can vary, since we’re all different aint we. Aha. but one thing will stay the same and it’s the fact that kama trusts you to teach them about soft romance. in their dialogs and bio, it says that they can’t stand dummy couples but i believe that it’s because they genuinely crave it more than anyone. (especially since Rati doesn’t seem to exist in the fgo timeline :( ) being your most favourite sex friend? they can do that. being your sole lover?? UH..... (SWEATS)

what else does ree have..... OH YEAH !! i believe that kama is overall extremely kinky and it’s hard to surprise them. but since they’re so lavish, quite elegant and have this... aura of luxury to them, i think that the Gross Kinks(u know the ones. Real bad stuff i wont mention here) are an absolute no on their list. being the god of carnal love is one thing but they have standards!!!! no i will not come back on this headcanon and if ppl try to debunk it, stay away from me blog !!

i like to think that they genuinely adore porn sites and see it all as a tribute for themself. once again, they stay off gross shit but the vanilla tag? THEY CANT CLICK IT. ITS TOO EMBARRASSING TO CLICK. help them out.... ;) (opportunity to tease +1)

they’re very good at giving massages but i think they’d prefer receiving them most of the time !! though, if you’re into them and they’re blowing ur back out/riding u, they’ll make em feel extra special just for you

i don’t know if they’d have a favourite position... they’re very versatile, so they’ll go along with your preferences

they’re very open about following what you’d like to do since they’re already good at everything!!!!! u pick !!! then they’ll dive in and eat you out/suck u off right there

they’re a big spoon by default. yep. BUT BEING THE LITTLE SPOON MAKES THEM VERY SHY AND EMBARRASSED AND ITS CUTE coax them into being a little spoon sometimes Please

i think that they’d consider everything remotely sexual a way of worshipping them, so they’ll gladly watch u masturbate even if they don’t have to actively participate

ITS HOT AS HELL DUDE... TAKE UR CLOTHES OFF

i picture them constantly wearing this... lazy, arrogant smile, especially if you’re topping. think you’re that good, huh ?

though it vanishes very quickly if you start treating them gently. tomato ! ONCE AGAIN: EASY BUTTONS TO PUSH !!!! 

they’d find toys very funny and practical. so they’re not above using those on you and they’re also into you using it on them. THEIR RANGE IS WIDE AND THEY’RE EAGER TO EXPLORE i love them so much theyre such a dreamboat

OH THIS GOT LONG SO IM GONNA STOP THERE BUT IF U MADE IT ALL THE WAY DOWN: THANK U FOR READING MY BRAINROT!!!

#answered #lemon #ree's fgo hcs #kama #kama fgo #THATS AN AWFULLY LONG POST WHEN ALL IVE BASICALLY SAID IS THAT THEYRE A SERVICE TOP

[figuringouthowtobehere]

please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood. 

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now. 

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it. 

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would. 

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

#childhood abuse tw #tw #tw alone in the world #suicide tw #please dont reblog this #no rb #homelessness tw

[bl00dw1tch]

I think ive finally figured out how to put my feelings of disappointment towards modern music into words, but it sounds so simple im almost worried it wont fully get my point across.

Modern music always feels like its in mourning.

The slow tempos. The perpetual search for songs that convey "Deep" feelings, often negative ones such as sadness, frustration, loss, and even just apathy. The heavy leaning towards mumble rap, and artists who sound like theyve spent their whole lives whispering.

Music is getting extremely thought provoking most days, if only by reminding us of the way the world is right now, and the things we see and do and deal with on a day to day basis. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing, definitely not! If anything im sure its evidence of humanities further evolution or whatever, but that's not what im talking about.

The reason i don't like modern music is bc this "genre" of Endlessly Depressing, Too Real, Makes-You-Sit-in-Bed-And-Stare-At-A-Wall-For-Three-Hours-While-Dissassociating music is bc it has saturated the musical market so heavily.

I miss party music. I miss music that you don't have to think about, music that you can just jump around to and pretend everything is ok bc dammit we NEED that kind of shit, especially now.

We're only civilians.

The most we can do the change the world at any given time is to vote, and when the polls aren't open, it does us no good to keep stressing about the way the world is and all the tragedy going on everywhere. Luckily, we already know abt compassion fatigue, so i Hope at least that ppl have that mindset under control.

But it goes beyond that too. Ppl are lonely. Ppl have anxieties, trauma theyre going through n recovering, depression, chronic illnesses, THOUSANDS of other issues--mental, physical, social, you name it. Everyone always just seems so stressed, everyone is running themselves ragged, and i know that everyone usually has their own ways to cope with it all too, and try not to let themselves spiral, which is fantastic! But i just.

I guess i just wonder sometimes what society would be like now if music about mindless fun and carefree lifestyles and partying had never god out of style?

Anyway, this is a long winded way of saying can we PLEASE bring back those boppin ass 2011 flipnote songs and bands like Basshunter's "I can walk on water i can fly", Numa Numa, Dam Dadi Do, and Nightcores of britney spears, lady gaga, and ke$ha songs now that its the rawring 20s and cringe culture is dead

#cringe culture #nightcore #scenecore #rawring twenties #music #vent //

[the--gay-agenda]

my platonic gf made me do this (even tho she’s not on tumblr rn)

1. What is you middle name? - San Roque

2. How old are you? - 16

3. When is your birthday? - November 11, 2002

4. What is your zodiac sign? - Sun: Scorpio Moon: Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? - Dark colors in general (mostly maroon, blue and monochrome)

6. What’s your lucky number? - 11 or 13

7. Do you have any pets? - 3 dogs (but i rlly take care of 1)

8. Where are you from? - Philippines, Metro Manila 

9. How tall are you? - 5’5” and a half

10. What shoe size are you? - I think 9-10 (???)

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - 3 (4 if u include my school shoes)

12. What was your last dream about? - I was in school and we were peforming for a rlly big event (it was shitty)

13. What talents do you have? - I can play the guitar, barely sing, sorta dance, and some chinese 

14. Are you psychic in any way? - When it comes to my sister, and some romantic situations irl, and i can predict scenes from movies i havent seen

15. Favorite song? oh god that’s hard, the soundtracks for both heathers and six, every song in my g a y playlist in spotify (king princess, joji, billie eilish, rizha, etc.)

16. Favorite movie? - The girl king (despite the annoying power dynamic0 and heathers (despite the cringe) and almost every marvel movie

17. Who would be your ideal partner? - @alexconfusion if u weren’t such a fuqing baby (fyi, @alexgoestosleep i wont steal them from u, they’re just sorta my ideal type)

18. Do you want children? - Like one or two (girls preferably)

19. Do you want a church wedding? - Hell nah (but ill be fine either way)

20. Are you religious? - Sorta (raised a catholic, but my faith waivers)

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - Nope just visited folks

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - nah

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Regine velasquez at snr once

24. Baths or showers? - showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? - Im not wearin socks rn, but if i were, grey

26. Have you ever been famous? - Does having 392 followers in tumblr consider being famous??

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - Yes and no

28. What type of music do you like? - Smth with guitars, maybe even synth-pop or smth. and some classical shit

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - Nope, and never will

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 2, 3 if im with my bro

31. What position do you usually sleep in? - On either side with a pillow to hug

32. How big is your house? - Just 1 floor, a small backyard, and a front porch (i think idk filipino houses are hard to explain)

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - Coffee and bread, instant noodles if i feel like it

34. Have you ever fired a gun? - Do airsoft guns count?

35. Have you ever tried archery? - Nah, but id love to

36. Favorite clean word? - boop

37. Favorite swear word? - shit, fuck,cunt, bitch, faggot (i call my friend like that never as an offense its just our thing) 

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - 36 hours or maybe even 48

39. Do you have any scars? -A scar on my right arm cuz of a vaccine

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - Sorta, but he was a guy and a creep and a bitch so...

41. Are you a good liar? - sorta

42. Are you a good judge of character? - Maybe idk

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - I have a very bad butchered british accent that sounds like im crunching in some scottish or smth

44. Do you have a strong accent? - Not that i know of

45. What is your favorite accent? - British and australian

46. What is your personality type? - Resting bitch face, quiet but a rlly good friend (apparently) im sorta clingy and hyper sometimes

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - I think my prom dress, other than that, my giordano long sleeves

48. Can you curl your tongue? - sorta

49. Are you an innie or an outie? - innie

50. Left or right handed? - left

51. Are you scared of spiders? - As long as they’re small im good, i fear the big ones

52. Favorite food? - Japanese food, some korean food, pasta, ribs, and sisig

53. Favorite foreign food? - ^ (except for sisig) 

54. Are you a clean or messy person? - An organized mess

55. Most used phrased? - Is it gay?

56. Most used word? - gay

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 20-30 mins, i try to prepare everything the day before

58. Do you have much of an ego? - Idk, i think not

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? - Yes, too many fucking times

61. Do you sing to yourself? - In the shower its great 10/10 would recommend

62. Are you a good singer? - Sorta?? Depends on the style of the song

63. Biggest Fear? - Socializing online idk lmao

64. Are you a gossip? - Depends on who im gossiping with, but not too much lol

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Idk, none of them are rlly great

66. Do you like long or short hair? - short

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - Binch no, i aint american

68. Favorite school subject? - Social studies

69. Extrovert or Introvert? - Introvert but im a bit of both sorta

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - no

71. What makes you nervous? - people

72. Are you scared of the dark? - nope

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - Yes, especially when it comes to talking in english, im a grammar nazi

74. Are you ticklish? - yes,Stomach, sides, neck, feet, and certain parts on my back

75. Have you ever started a rumor? - nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - I was the secretary of my class last year, and ive been the leader for our thesis

77. Have you ever drank underage? - Does wine count? (only during new year tho)

78. Have you ever done drugs? - nope

79. Who was your first real crush? - I honestly dont know, but i think it was this one girl named Renee (nuffsaid)

80. How many piercings do you have? - Before one for each ear, i lost them now so none

81. Can you roll your Rs? - If i need to, like if its a spanish name or smth

82. How fast can you type? - Idk,

83. How fast can you run? - Sorta fast thanks to my legs, but my stamina is hella short so not long

84. What color is your hair? - A mix of brown and sorta like bronze (this one particular part of my hair especially)

85. What color is your eyes? - brown

86. What are you allergic to? - none

87. Do you keep a journal? - Im starting to rn

88. What do your parents do? - Both of them have their own businesses

89. Do you like your age? - Yea i guess, unless my parents start comparing my maturity with my age

90. What makes you angry? --A lot of things (im moody), esp. When my sis starts judging what i like

91. Do you like your own name? -Sorta, i mean a lot of ppl mispronounce my name and make fun of it when u add my last name to it

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - honestly idk, but i plan to name them with confusing names (or not idk)

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - Both girls

94. What are you strengths? - Maybe that i’m honest esp when def needed, i have this motherly side (sorta), i know a lot of shit

95. What are your weaknesses? - Im clingy, im socially awkward, im easily demotivated, idk how emotions work

96. How did you get your name? - There was a joke that my mom thought i was gonna be a boy so they named me jonathan, but since i was a girl and jonathan tan was gonna be redundant, they added mae as my second name, removed the -than and now its J**** Mae Tan

97. Were your ancestors royalty? - Not that i know of, but one of my ancestors was an important figure in the revolution in my country so.... yea

98. Do you have any scars? - On my right arm cuz of a vaccine

99. Color of your bedspread? - I share a bed with my siblings (sadly) but rn its blue

100. Color of your room? - With my siblings, eggshell white or smth, but i wanted the color sky blue once i get my own room

#not heathers related #shitposting #ask meme #my shoulder hurts

[bespokejoke]

..

i think i have a problem with being around brown folk. i default to assuming that they are judging me way more harshly than they probably are. esp w south asian men i’m always on high alert bc i feel like i could fuck up any second and lose all my respect and social standing just like that and end up an object of ridicule. this happened so much back home, growing up, i haven’t been able to detach this fear from south asian men but i’m trying. when i’m around larger groups/communities of indian people in the US it’s not like i think those communities shouldn’t exist? it’s great that ppl have found ways to live the way they like and foster community and persist their culture. they just always feel very insular and remind me of how scared and trapped i felt throughout my childhood and my fight or flight instincts desperately act up and make me want to get away. there’s a unique social exhaustion i feel from being around desi folks that behave very desi, esp ones that tend to agree w how society is structured in india. i guess the moment i stopped telling myself that i’d kill myself by the age of 18 and actively considered that i was going to live a longer life, i started realistically planning to get away from oppressive/abusive environments that are deeply rooted in being indian. i can’t help but feel retraumatized when i’m put in an environment full of indians again, but it often translates in the Bad Part of my mind as “you’re being racist towards your own community” and that’s rly?? not it? i want all of them to succeed and be happy, i just can’t deal w my internal demons and resurfacing trauma when i’m around them 

i guess another part of it is that i’ve gotten very used to hiding who i am when i go back to india. i dont tell ppl this (or at least i dont recall talking abt this to anyone) but i cry for at least an hour every time i fly home. its not bc i dont wanna go home, i love several aspects of being home and being around the food, culture, music, people i like. but i also know that i have to actively stop myself from being me. i can’t make the same jokes i always make, i can’t openly talk about being queer or gender fluidity or <insert minority group> rights, even around the family members i know and love bc growing up i knew there’s A Way to act around them that will foster a happy relationship. i’m too scared to change bc for 21 yrs they’ve known a certain me, and i’m scared they’ll hate who i’ve become in secret. but then in the same vein, i get this weird code-switching brain fart when i’m around indian communities in the US bc i dont know how to act! they’re often very conservative in their political beliefs and v well off too, so i don’t relate to them one bit. i feel scared to act the way i do around other americans bc of my past, but i can’t fully switch to acting the way i do in india without a preparatory period (usually my flight home) and quite frankly i dont want to – its a huge setback for my emotional growth to hide who i am and pretend to be someone else 

the last thing is i guess i feel like part of me feels programmed to believe that indian culture is cringe. esp ppl who make fun of bollywood but obsess over spirituality and take those two things as the only representation of india. it’s i think a big part of why i get physically uncomfortable watching bollywood movies, esp ones that are cringe. i just can’t. i feel so ashamed and it feels like “this is how ppl see me and my culture” and it hurts, it makes me feel like hiding but i know there’s no way to. it makes me want to detach more and more from things that are conventionally enjoyed abt india/south asia bc it makes me feel like i’m perpetuating a stereotype when i do enjoy them. and then there’s rly no representation of brown folks outside of that that i can look up to and feel like okay i can see myself in that instead. (i doubt anyone is reading this but if you thought of mindy kaling imma slap you). like man i dont want anyone to think SOTY or golmaal or slumdog millionaire or some shit is my culture. it makes me want to cry or scream or both. i dont even feel like sharing anything abt india or music that isn’t fun bollywood music with my friends bc of this. i dont think anyone is interested and i feel like if i wont get a response it’ll hurt even more bc it’ll prove my point. sure ppl can say that none of my friends actually think that and that’s likely true, but it’s in my head. it’s ingrained in how i act, my subconscious effort into sounding and acting less indian. i by no means want to be seen as american, but sometimes i wish i wasn’t seen as indian either. or i guess if i am seen as indian i wish i could somewhat define what that means. 

i wonder if anyone else feels like this bc i have rly no friends from india in the US anymore, esp not ones who dont have their own groups of desi ppl they hang out with. i dont think i’ve ever put together a lot of these feelings before but i felt like i needed to. these feelings resurface frightfully regularly and leave me filled with so much shame and confusion

#feelings #text #desi #indian stuff #shame #this is just my weird feelings abt being from india living in the US #my weird relationship w my culture and my past #i dont want to offend anyone or say doing certain stuff is wrong #just trying to put together my feelings

[autisticstarseed]

👐 Hand washing guide when you have sensory issues 👐

tbh. we shouldve been talking abt this a long time ago for many disabled ppls sake but ive put this post off for like a million years out of pure solidified fear of ableist harassment/kneejerk ignorance and also generalized cringe idiots but now that we got so much covid-19 fear and autistic ppl actually tend to have weaker immune systems than most people lets jump the shark;;;

i have autism and i physically struggle with washing my hands as often as i want to, having wet hands, drying them, the temperature difference, bad soap smells/textures, etc. are all genuinely painful. the good news is that ive dealt with water aversion shit since birth (its a common sensory issue), so ive had time to figure out alternatives and coping skills that still help reduce risk of disease and spreading it in ways that i can personally manage. (ie. not lazy or selfish or gross. genuinely putting more effort into this every day task than most other people would even think about. just disability lads) so heres the guide i have to offer if you’re in a similar boat, with some keypoints about hand hygiene and tips addressing the most common sensory struggles ive noticed with it;;;

1. hand sanitizer

i love hand sanitizer, i can get it in almost any scent i want and it dries down very very fast. the problem is; hand washing and hand sanitizer do different things. it only kills certain types of germs. which is all fine and dandy, but because of this, using only hand sanitizer wont actually keep you from catching or spreading many illnesses. so what its good for is times you cant wash your hands (out in public, sensory overload, no spoons, etc), thats fine, but it should not replace all hand washing if at all possible. it is supposedly effective to covid-19, but so little is currently known that it should not be considered your go to for this, and the only unanimous statement straight from the CDC is that hand washing works best at preventing its spread.

temperature - if you have trouble with it being too cold, conveniently keeping it in your pocket or closely against your body in some way warms it up and makes it much more comfortable. 

scent - they come in almost any scent you can imagine, but if you have trouble with strong scents, there are ‘scentless hand sanitizers’. they usually have a faint chemical smell, so if there are any testers available, you should check to make sure it can work for you before you buy it.

texture - if gel doesnt cut it, they also make foamy hand sanitizers and liquid sprays, but theyre harder to find and might be a little more pricey.

and remember; always buy hand sanitizer that says it contains AT LEAST 60% alcohol, the higher alcohol content the better, but try to keep track of how high it is and how much you apply it so you dont dry your skin out. and right now price gouging is pretty bad, so dont be surprised if you cant find any for a while, and dont buy any small bottle that costs over a couple dollars, its a rip off.

2. hand washing 

so what does hand washing do thats better than sanitizer??? soap and water lift up the dirt and oils that are carrying the germs and actually wash them off, and not only that, it also gets rid of all the things sanitizer cant, such as dust/dirt, spores, chemicals, and the previously mentioned viruses that are harder to kill. ik to an outside perspective it might not seem that hard, but obviously when you have autism and these tasks are split down into bigger ordeals and sensory nightmares, it can feel impossible. 

soap - there are so many different kinds of soap! scentless soaps exist, and they very rarely have any lingering chemical smell! theres also soap for sensitive skin, and baby soap also works well for that issue. bar soaps can come in all different shapes and sizes, with many different ingredients and additives to choose from (independent soap makers are an amazing source for customized soap btw), and liquid soaps can be pure gel, frothy, mousse-y or even have tiny exfoliating or moisturizing beads in them if thats a sensory experience you enjoy. this is my number one rec for people struggling with hand washing bc of sensory issues;;; mix up the soap. finding one that gives you an okay or even a GOOD sensory experience can completely turn around an otherwise meltdown inducing task

temperature - this is the one thats always been hardest for me. cold water straight up hurts me, and our plumbing is Terrible, so the trick i have for slow pipes is to run the hot water on high as Soon as i get into the bathroom. leave it going and by the time you’re done there should be at least lukewarm water. if this still takes too long for you, try out the various sinks in your house, usually one is able to get hot water faster than the rest (for me its the kitchen sink) and that can become a designated station for you if need be.

texture - some ppl just hate water. if thats the case, it rly doesnt change much abt the process if you use less water, ie work the soap into a lather, and then only use as much as you need to rinse it off. you dont have to keep your hands under the whole time, the soap clings to the dirt, the water takes it off all together, as long as you scrub well and rinse till you see no suds, you’re good 

If it really comes down to it, a washcloth with water+soap, a disinfecting wipe, or even literally just a rinse with plain ol water is better than nothing, but the stream of water and act of rubbing the soap in is the most effective combo against disease. soap/disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizers are your second best option. if theres a time in your life where an issue is so disabling for you that you truly cant keep any of this up, rly the most important thing is to limit your direct physical contact with your face and commonly used objects as MUCH as possible until you can figure smth out. (you kno those old ladies that grab a wipe and open the doorknob with it between their hand and the knob? become that old lady) and if push comes to shove, if a safe and accepting therapy setting is something accessible to you, hygiene struggles are actually something many mental health professionals understand Very well and can help you cope with personally and directly, without shame.

3. hand drying

this is also. my personal hell. and what most people say is the hardest part of the sensory experience. but ya cant just walk around with wet hands right

towels - the obvious choice for most, but to me they actually dont dry enough. i always end up damp and with lint stuck to me. this kills the man. but hand towels do have some variety to them, you can find em with really long fibers or really short/flat, really fuzzy or really stiff, etc. sounds silly but its smth a lot of ppl dont think about that can change a lot. you can also try super absorbent towels (yes like a shamwow), and again baby bath towels are also an option if you want something gentle.

paper towels - yeah a little more wasteful and expensive, but imo much more absorbent. theyre also pretty thin so you can get between your fingers (MY BANE), and under your nails if you use a corner. 10/10

blow drying - ik this is the kind of shit you only see in like movie theaters and malls and they are definitely LOUD AS SHIT, but if you happen to have the money, and struggle more with Textures than Noise, ie a stream of warm air seems worth the sound, you Can actually find a small basic one of these items for your own home. 

4. public restrooms

everybody hates em!!! but you can make em more tolerable;;;

soap - bring your own! little travel soaps you can keep in your bag are a godsend for ppl with sensory issues, sensitive skin/allergies, and if you just prefer not sharing soap.

temperature - most public places i notice actually do get hot water pretty fast (like,,, too fast,,, like,,, it bur ns me) so if there are no faucets and its too hot or too cold, once again you can try different sinks and one might be more comfortable. if there are faucets i recommend grabbing a paper towel to turn it off, so you dont have to touch it again with your clean hands.

sound - WHY R AUTOMTIC FLUSH TOILETS SO FUCKEN LOUDD..... honestly if you have noise cancelling earmuffs or earplugs or w/e pop em in. if you dont have any of that i just literally plug my ears with my fingers when i stand up. if you struggle with the sound of the blow dryers, they almost always have paper towels as well, but its a great idea to carry something like that around in your bag with you just in case. if its really packed and people chattering is getting to you, sometimes the ‘family’ bathrooms are actually smaller and less full. if its bad enough and you feel comfortable asking, an employee might be able to direct you to a single stall bathroom or at least a different one than that.

and though its convenient, try not to use your sleeve to touch things like doorknobs, toilet handles, etc. instead use something disposable like a paper towel or wipe, bc the germs will simply transfer to your sleeve and still risk infecting you. 

5. schedule

the number one suggestion is to wash your hands literally as often as possible during a time like this but like. even for allistic/nt/abled/ ppl thats just not always an attainable schedule so the Best times to wash your hands are;;;

after using the bathroom - the most important time and generally the easiest to get used to. its smth you have to do multiple times a day that already has a schedule, and if you were to forget or go into sensory overload its usually immediately accessible as soon as you can. as i mentioned earlier, if you need help remembering, you can turn the water on when you first get in and leave it going.

the doctors - ANY KIND of health facility should be avoided right now unless really necessary, places where sick people would frequent is the quickest way to get sick but like. ya rly cant help it sometimes right. you cant stop dealing with your own illnesses just bc theres another one floating around. so, this is time to go apeshit on the handwashing. if your health issue involves coughing and sneezing, ask for a face mask. bring a scarf in case they dont have any, its not as great but better than nothing. otherwise, you honestly dont need it, face masks are more for these people bc they keep germs in better than out. whether you’re worried abt getting sick or infecting others, this is a time to use hand sanitizer, avoid physical contact like shaking hands [autistic cheering], and when you first arrive and right before you go to leave are the most important times to remember to wash your hands. 

preparing food - not as commonly spoken about, but also easy to work into a schedule. i personally dont care unless its food for somebody else or if im going to be putting my hands on it a lot, but if thats the case, a lot of the time thats produce you already want to wash in the sink, so you can kill two birds with one stone there. dont just get the germs off your own hands, get em off the fruits and veggies before you eat em. carpool

after grocery shopping - not very common. most ppl just slap some sanitizer/a wipe on there or dont think abt it at all, but if you just got home from walmart thats a great time to wash. you just touched a bunch of items other people touched, including the cart, money/credit cards, and all the products people will pick up and put back, so its prime germ time babey. But again, sanitizer or a wipe will help if its all you can manage after a trip out like that.

before self care - also uncommon. ppl always say ‘dont touch your face’ and ‘apply this product with clean hands’, and what they mean is that one of the fastest ways germs get into your system is through your mouth, nose, eyes and ears. if you’re simply washing your face theres not as much concern, but applying a mask, moisturizer, makeup, etc. should all be done after a gentle rinse of your hands (and face). very hard to get into the schedule of, but if you consider it a Part of your ‘self care’ or use a special fun cleanser, it can stick a little easier.

6. stim items

STIM ITEMS!! if you have stim items, its a good idea to clean them regularly, but even moreso during an outbreak like this.

rubber/plastic - if it goes in your mouth, hot water (not hot enough to melt!) and dish soap, if it doesnt, look up how to safely make a diluted bleach solution.

silicone - silicone is usually dish washer safe.

fabric - if its light, add bleach to the washing machine, if its colored, you can use white vinegar or hydrogen peroxide which are less likely to discolor any dyes. lysol detergent is also super great. small items you’re worried about losing, or items with details/loose parts, you can usually wash inside of a sealed pillow case. 

‘squishies’ - for ‘mochi’ squishies aka the rubbery ones, soap and water + some dusted baby powder or corn starch (optional) to keep it from grabbing lint for a while. for foam squishies, they can rarely be deep cleaned without the risk of growing mold or taking paint off, but a disinfecting wipe every now and then should keep it clean for a while.

slime - cant be disinfected, sorry. also a breeding ground for mold if you arent careful, so its always best to cycle through these quickly.

technology - cant really be completely sterilized, but there are many places to get sprays and cleaning wipes for the devices you use that can at least keep the areas your hands frequently touch a little cleaner.

BUT of course if your item comes with instructions on how to wash it, always follow that instead. this is just a general idea.

and as a final note;;; disabled ppl should not feel guilty or dirty for struggling with this. like. man idc abt ur cringe feels or your ignorant blame or your lack of understanding/sympathy for what goes into these tasks for us. if u dont wanna get our struggles and sensitivities when we’re working twice as hard on functioning tasks which personal ease you take for granted, thats on you. @ disabled people if you struggle with maintaining the same standard of hygiene as nts you arent gross or bad fucking person, you’re disabled and by definition that means your level of functioning will be different, and you deserve sympathy. its just that germs dont discriminate, they wanna cause problems for everybody involved (especially you!!!), so Anything you can manage is Great and if anything from this post can help make it a little easier for people in any way, i feel its absolutely necessary to talk about with respect and dignity. people with autism/adhd/sensory processing disorder/similar neurodivergencies/literally anybody else this could benefit, pls feel free to add on any tips you might have or send me questions. let disabled ppl help disabled ppl do our personal bests

#nt/allistic ppl can totally reblog btw!! just dont clown like thats literally all i ask man cuz tbh #im trying to help ppl form a hygiene habit while my nd struggle was ignored and worsened by ppl being shitty to me so to be blunt ig #im helping people by giving alternatives and coping skills and all ur doing is being ableist and expecting ppl to 100% conform so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #whos really the ...~~~~~ pro recovery~~~~ one. here #hint its me sit down rude ass #long post #im scared to put in nd tags but sjgsjddsj we're JUMPIGN THE SHARK #sensory processing disorder #spd #autism #actuallyautistic #asd #adhd #sensory overload #original