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2btheanswertothequestion · 1 year

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Steddie rockstar x roadie AU, with Steve being Eddie's queer awakening

(in a not-fic-format because I cannot be arsed to actually write it)

So. Corroded Coffin isn't huge by any means, but they're big enough. Successful and respected within their genre. Has a loyal fanbase, constantly sells out smaller venues, gets to go on tour every so often. They're rockstars who've made it while still getting to live like they're not rockstars when off the clock (and stage). The best of both worlds, really.

They're gearing up for another tour and have a couple of new faces on their crew. One of them got the job by being a friend of a friend. He doesn't at all look like he'd be a roadie for CC, and he doesn't actually listen to them – he's more into classic rock (respectable) and occasionally new wave (not respectable), but it's whatever. He's strong and hard-working and gets the job done. He also withstands the initial hazing like a champ, even biting back a few times. Yeah, Steve Harrington carves a place for himself in the crew and is soon one of them.

Eddie is especially fond of the new guy. Partly because it's clear Steve is as enamored with Dustin as Eddie is, and mutual interests bring people together. But also because Steve is simply a fun dude to be around? He's nice. Except for when he's mean; then he's funny instead. He's honestly funny a lot of times, even when he doesn't mean to be. Like, sometimes someone will make an exceptionally nerdy reference that he doesn't get, so he'll tilt his head and scrunch his eyebrows as it's explained to him. And, all right, maybe that's not funny, per se. More like cute. Endearing. Eddie often finds himself endeared and wanting to pat Steve on the head like the sweet little puppy he so strongly resembles.

The others mock him for it. Tease him about his man-crush on Harrington. Eddie laughs along with them, because yeah! Were he into men, Steve absolutely would've been his type. Look at him! Guy's ripped and has great hair (almost better than Eddie's. Just imagine the mane it'd be if he let it grow past his shoulders...) and Eddie has great taste. He'd for sure be head over heels for Steve if he were gay, and he is man enough to admit it.

That's how the flirting starts – as an extension of the joke. It's not out of character for Eddie, who flirts with everyone. With reporters, interviewers, photographers, TSA officers, venue security, other bands, anyone! Gender, age, or appearance don't matter because flirting is fun. And it's especially fun to flirt with Steve, because he flirts back! No matter how much Eddie does it, Steve will flirt back and help make everyone laugh. It's a great part of their dynamic and actually brings them closer as friends. Dustin would be proud of them.

So, while on tour, they have this thing where one member of the crew gets to decide where they'll go after shows or on their days off. Participation is optional but encouraged, because it's an 'organic bonding experience' or whatever their manager called it. Occasionally it'll be a movie or a museum, but usually the destination is a bar or club. What's there to say, they're a bunch of male, red-blooded twenty to thirty-somethings – what better pasttime is there than to get drunk after a hard day's work? Yeah, every so often someone will pick up a girl, but it's a rare occurrence. A bunch of the guys has special ladies waiting at home, and for the single ones it's much easier to just book a date with their own hand.

There's one guy on the crew, Peter, who always takes them to a gay bar when it's his turn. This because he is gay. Duh. No one minds it, and if they do they don't come back next tour. Corroded Coffin prides themselves on their allyship. They're freaks of nature welcoming all other freaks of nature. Seriously, what does it matter if a dude likes cock instead of tits? Why is it wrong if he wants it up the ass? It's actually not that bad! See, Eddie used to date this woman who was puh-retty kinky. Pegging was just one of the many, many, maaaaaaany things she enjoyed. And Eddie loved her, so, well. It wasn't as good as she claimed it'd be, but it was fine. Enjoyable enough to do again. The point is that CC doesn't dance with homophobia, and Eddie will scream it from the top of every table.

Anyway. When it's Peter's turn, Steve (who hasn't gotten to pick yet because he's the newbie and they pick last) comments upon it. Nothing big. Nothing bad. Still, Gareth is on him, puffing himself up like a chihuahua and asking if Steve has a problem with it.

Eddie’s hands turn clammy with nerves in the split second it takes for Steve to roll his eyes and scoff "of course not".

Look, he'd really like for Steve to be back next tour, okay? They're buddies now and he doesn't want to lose him to bigotry. Also, it'd suck to have to tell Dustin that the guy he hero-worships is actually a douchebag. Nothing to fear, however – Steve continues to prove himself to be a good dude. He doesn't even blink when propositioned at the club! Simply tells them "thanks, but no thanks". Unsurprising, since he's cool with Eddie's nonsense, but there's a difference between a straight guy hitting on you as a joke and a gay guy doing it for real. At least, for some it is. But not for Steve. Fuck, Eddie hopes he'll be back next tour. He's on his way to being Eddie's new best friend and he'd miss him.

Then, it's time – they're in Chicago and it's Steve's turn to pick. Some of the others grumble over the newbie getting such a big city at his disposal. Eddie doesn't blame them for suspecting favoritism – it's happened before – but not this time! It just became like this and Eddie has nothing to do with it! Ask the other band members.

(When he breaks the news to Steve, his hazel eyes light up. He asks, "Can a friend of mine come with?"

"Sure, man," Eddie says, clapping him on the shoulder.

Steve buzzes with excitement, giddier than a kid on Christmas morning. Fuck, he's so cute.)

That night after the show, as they're leaving for the 'organic bonding experience' (seriously, Chrissy? Of all the things you could call it...), they're met by a young woman outside the venue.

She's tall and skinny, like a giraffe, and that's all Eddie can tell at first glance because she rushes up and flings herself into Steve's embrace. They hug, they laugh, they might cry a little, and he even spins around with her in his arms.

(Girlfriend? She's certainly pretty enough for it.)

Once the heartwarming reunion is over, Steve introduces her as Robin, and tells her that it's his turn to pick a place for them to decompress but he's making it her choice. Robin spits out options with a speed none of them keep up with; Steve stops her, saying, "No, Robs. I'm making it your choice."

They share a look.

She gasps.

They grin, mischievously, and then...

She takes them to a lesbian club.

It's open to gay guys too, obviously, but clearly caters to lesbians. It's a smaller thing, the kind that entertains a steady line of regulars. Apparently, Robin and Steve are among these regulars, because the bartender greets them by name the moment they step inside.

They order their drinks and claim a booth. Robin is quick to instigate a discussion about what dorky things Steve has done while away from her. Eddie is happy to share while Steve laments he should've known better than to introduce them.

An hour or so in, Robin skitters off to catch up with a group of women, all varying degrees of butch. Not ten seconds later, someone new claims her seat (which is also Steve's lap). Eddie mistakes them for a girl at first, because they're small with a high-pitched voice, but no, it's just the twinkiest twink. He makes himself at home on Steve's thigh, pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek and squealing, "Stevie! I didn't know you were back!"

Steve laughs. "Hey, babe. Just for tonight. I'm here with my coworkers."

The twink twists around in Steve's lap. He really is girly-looking: soft jawline, slender build, shoulder-length blond waves, and huge eyes enhanced with makeup. He even smells like a woman, strawberry and jasmine.

"Oh! The rock band!" He extends a dainty hand. "Hi, I'm Brendan!"

Brendan sticks around for a while. Like Robin, he wants to know what Steve's been up to. Unlike Robin, he's more interested in awe-inspiring stories than embarrassing ones (unfortunate, for the latter kind heavily outweighs the former). He doesn't move from Steve's lap. Kind of weird, actually. Like, there are available seats. Yes, Robin also sat exclusively in Steve's lap, but that's different. They're best friends and it was chaste and cute. Brendan is... honestly, Eddie doesn't know who Brendan is. Some dude who's shameless enough to rub his ass on Steve's dick in full view of everyone. Yeah, you're not as subtle as you think, babe.

He doesn't even move when they get up to let another crew member go to the bathroom! No, Steve slides out of the booth still holding him, Brendan perched on his forearm. His muscles flex, a vein straining underneath the skin, but Steve's face is relaxed. As if the – small, sure, but still grown – man in his arms weighs nothing. More likely, Steve is just that used to carrying things.

For some reason, Eddie's mouth dries a little at the thought of it.

At last, Brendan leaves, but not before sweetly kissing Steve on the lips and telling him to "let me know when you're back for real, stud".

Steve promises with a laugh, then turns back to the table and rejoins the conversation as if it was nothing strange. As if making dates with other men happens to him all the time.

Shit.

The entire thing leaves something gnawing on Eddie. He holds it in while in the club. He holds it in when they escort Robin to her cab. He holds it in as they walk back to the tour buses.

Then the others are gone. It's just him and Steve left, lingering to smoke in the parking lot, and he can't hold it any longer.

"I didn't know you're gay!"

Smoothness, thy name is Eddie Munson.

Steve shrugs. "I'm not; I'm bisexual."

"Right, right."

Eddie takes a deep drag, putting some of the smoke in the wrong pipe and coughing it up. Steve thumps his back.

"Woah, man, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Eddie rasps, tears prickling his eyes. "So, um, is it okay? What we've been... The flirting?"

"Uh, yeah?" Steve tilts his head, eyebrows scrunching and, Jesus Christ, how can he be so adorable? "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because!" Eddie gestures between the two of them. "You're bi, and I'm not, and is it offensive for me to...?"

Steve blinks at him, before bursting into laughter. Eddie feels the blush warming his neck.

"Don't be stupid," Steve says in between peals of giggles. "It's just a fun thing. S'not that deep. You don't have to lose sleep over it."

"Alright, man. Then I won't."

But he does.

That very night he finds himself tossing and turning. And thinking. Thinking about Steve. About Steve's strong arms and broad chest. About his square jaw and plush lips. About his thick hair and hooded eyes. About how the ugly polo shirts the techs wear look genuinely good on Steve, and about how his tight jeans leave little to the imagination. That particular line of thought has Eddie whimper and roll his hips against the mattress. Rachael's strap-on always felt kind of so-so. Was it because it was too rubbery or because it was too small?

He also thinks about what makes Steve Steve. Like Steve's selflessness, always the first to volunteer to do the tedious work so no one else has to. And Steve's barbed tongue, sharp enough to give even Eddie a run for his money. Eddie thinks about their easy banter, and how Dustin sings his praises, and how Steve let Robin pick a club when it was his turn.

After three consecutive nights of tossing, turning, thinking, and no sleep, Eddie comes to a horrifying conclusion.

It's not simply a question of 'want'. He's not just horny and curious. No, he likes Steve.

It makes things so fucking awkward. He has no idea how to act around Steve afterward. Falling for a crew member is bad enough (so unprofessional; Chrissy would definitely be on his case if she knew), but this is worse because he's a guy. Eddie's never been into guys before! Sure, there are men out there who are objectively hot. Eddie can admit that. But it's not the same. There are feelings involved here.

And the worst is that people notice. Steve notices. How can he not? When Eddie stops responding to their usual flirting, turning into a skittish bunny whenever Steve is close.

At first, it makes Steve pause. Tilt his head, scrunch his eyebrows, and pout in confusion (Eddie's heartbeat turns irregular every time he does). Then Steve pulls away, and Eddie's heart fucking breaks. The atmosphere among the crew turns tense; Peter starts sending him dirty looks that Eddie shrinks away from.

A few days into it, he's cornered by a pissed off Jeff.

"Dude, what's your problem?" he snaps; Eddie wants to sink into the ground. "I thought you were better than this. Who cares that Harrington is also into dudes? It's still Harrington! It won't kill you to treat him like you used to. No one is going to think you're gay for standing next to him."

Eddie croaks, "What if I am?"

"You- What?"

"What if... I like Steve?"

Jeff's jaw hits the floor. "What."

Eddie inhales deeply, staring at his wringing hands. "I like Steve. I've been thinking... After Chicago, I started to think about... And I realized I like him." A sob tears from his throat. "I don't know what I should-"

Jeff's arms wrap around him; Eddie buries his face in the crook of his neck.

"Jesus Christ," Jeff mutters, stroking Eddie's back. "Um, it's okay? We support you. No one will judge you! We love you all the same."

Eddie nods, Jeff's leather jacket squeaking with the movement. He's been wearing it since high school and it smells like home.

"I don't know how to act around him anymore," he sniffles.

"Why don't you tell him?"

Eddie recoils from the embrace to give Jeff his mightiest 'are you stupid for real' look. Jeff sighs at him.

"Oh, come on. You're his friend and a good-looking guy. Why not?" Jeff says, as if it's that easy. But...

"I'm not his type!"

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do! Didn't you see that Brendan guy?"

Jeff falters. He realizes Eddie is right. Because, yes, Eddie is pretty hot. He has the long hair and a pretty face, he's been told. But he's still a masculine guy. A blue-collar type with calluses on his hands and dirt under his nails. He's not a svelte, dainty, little twink – he's as tall as Steve is, with more tattoos than bare skin and who smells like sweat and tobacco badly masked with cheap cologne, not strawberries and jasmine. He doesn't wear makeup or do his hair and some days he just fucking picks a used shirt from his pile and maybe sniffs it before putting it on. He talks too much and too loud. His limbs flail when he's excited. He's not going to sweetly ask for flattering stories about Steve – his instinct is to tease him for calling one of the guys from Nip/Tuck 'Dr. McDreamy'. He's closer to Robin than he is to Brendan. Jesus Christ, he's in the same category as Steve's lesbian best friend! Or at least he was, before he shot their friendship to hell.

There's no hope.

The tour ends on a sourer note than previous ones. It's all Eddie's fault. He doesn't even stick around for the last 'organic bonding experience' – he gets into his car at the first opportunity and drives home.

And then comes the wallowing. Several tubs of ice cream are consumed as High Fidelity plays on loop on Eddie's TV. He writes dozens of miserable, yearning songs and screens his calls, not even picking up for Chrissy or Wayne. It's not until Dustin's cheerful lisp rings out from his answering machine that there's a change. He's inviting Eddie to come visit him and Suzie and the cats in Massachusetts, like he always does after a tour.

Eddie can't turn that down. Besides, he probably needs to get out of the house.

So he goes, and it's nice. Dustin is still a little shit, Suzie is a pearl, the cats are cuddly, and Eddie is a good enough faker to mask his emotional state – his hosts notice nothing amiss.

Then, halfway through his visit, Eddie returns from his walk and who does he find unpacking their car in Dustin and Suzie's driveway?

Can you guess? I think you can.

It's Robin!

And Steve. They're a package deal, you know.

And Dustin's like, "Eddie! They're here! Oh, did I forget to tell you they were coming? Oops. Well, you already know them, so it's fine."

And Eddie is panicking, and Robin is trying to murder him with her mind, and Steve is just like,

"Hey."

Coldly polite.

Eddie hides in his guest room until dinner time. When he comes out, he expects Dustin to chew him out for being an asshole homophobe and kick him out of his life permanently.

But he doesn't. Dinner is as usual, if Steve Harrington ignoring you and Robin Buckley glaring at you is part of your usual dinner experience.

After cleaning up, Steve steps outside to smoke. Eddie, figuring he has to take some responsibility, follows him. Steve is standing on the deck, elbows resting on the wooden railing, his back to the house. He straightens up and turns when Eddie closes the screen door behind him. The sun has set, but the moon is out; Steve's profile is sharp in the pale moonlight, his posture sure. The cherry of his cigarette makes shadows and flames flicker dramatically over his features, highlighting the edges and the curves and he's so fucking gorgeous Eddie forgets how to breathe. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

He slinks over, Steve's gaze following him.

"Hi," Eddie says.

"Hi," Steve says.

"You didn't..." Eddie swallows. "You didn't tell Dustin?"

Steve frowns. "No. It's between us. For now, at least."

"Oh."

Shuddering, Eddie wraps his arms around himself. It's late summer and still warmish as long as there's no wind. Right now it's windless, the cold coming from within.

"I wanted to talk."

Steve hums, noncommittal.

"I wanted to apologize."

Another hum, more interested.

"I'm sorry. For how I acted. I've been an asshole and you don't deserve any of that."

Eddie glances up to gauge Steve's reaction, and oh. The whole evening, Steve's been aloof, cordially keeping Eddie at arm's length, but now...

Now he just looks sad.

A few weeks ago, they were close enough for Eddie to hug him when he looked like this. Eddie would crush his own heart with a sledgehammer if it meant they'll go back to that.

He says, "We haven't known each other for long, but you're already one of my best friends. Then it got weird at the end and-"

Steve's face hardens again, eyes tapering with anger.

"Things didn't 'get weird', Eddie. You made them weird. What the fuck?"

And Eddie takes a deep breath and says,

"I like you."

Shock colors Steve's expression; he takes a step back. It takes everything to stop Eddie from following in an attempt to reel him back in.

"I don't know when it started," he says, the confession tumbling out. "I always liked you? You're a good guy and fun to hang with and a great friend, and I guess you were hot, but a ton of guys are hot and it doesn't have to mean anything. I can be straight and still think guys are hot, you know? But then, in Chicago, you came out and I started seeing you differently. So, huh, turns out, in my case? Thinking guys are hot does mean something. And I freaked out because I didn't know what to do. Being close to you made me so nervous, and I couldn't tell you how I felt because just because you like guys doesn't mean you like me, and I already know your type is cute little blond twinks, and-"

"I actually prefer brunets," Steve says.

Eddie chokes on what else he had to say. He looks up at Steve, who's smiling. Kind of shy but mostly bright, eyes crinkling at the corners. His cigarette is almost down to the filter; Steve drops and snuffs it out without looking away from Eddie. His eyes are like gold, glittering.

"Y-you what?"

"I don't really have a type," Steve says, stepping closer. "I like who I like." Another step. "But, uh, most of my relationships have been with brunets." Another step, then stop – they're nose to nose. "Nerdy ones."

Eddie's head spins. He squeaks, "Oh?"

Steve nods. "I like smart, passionate people. And I..." He giggles. "I've had a crush on you since the beginning."

Eddie's head fucking explodes. It leaves a gash in his face that stretches from ear to ear. A breeze blows past, caressing his burning cheeks. It's his turn to giggle.

"You're fucking with me."

Steve tilts his head, but doesn't scrunch his brow this time. No, it remains smooth, but his eyelids droop as his eyes roam Eddie's body.

"So far, only in my head."

Eddie sputters. He grabs a fistful of hair and pulls it in front of his red face. Steve, the bastard, laughs at him. He reaches out, coaxing the locks out of Eddie's grip and tucks them behind his ear. There's an endlessness in his gaze; simultaneously looking through Eddie and at him. Seeing him from every angle, especially the ugly ones, but touching him just as tenderly anyway.

Eddie wets his lips. Since he caused the distance in the first place, it only seems fair he takes the last step. "Do you want to go out with me?" he asks. "A date?"

Steve leans in until they touch from forehead to nose tip.

"Yes," he says. "I do."

#Eddie: It's not that easy!#Narrator:It was in fact that easy #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #steddie #steddie fanfic #eddie munson #steve harrington #my writing

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drdemonprince · 5 months

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Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and willingness to explain how queer spaces can be a lot less transphobic than discourse within the trans community can make it seem. A lot of the past few years for me have been spent closeted out of fear that reactions around me would be uniformly hostile. Things are obviously going to be different for me as a transfem, but I have a much easier time being optimistic now!

I am so glad! Listen, the people who post online all the time about how miserably hard it is to find a place for oneself as a trans person create a kind of reverse survivorship bias. They are the people who have already convinced themselves it's best to forever remain closeted or that forging any kind of accepting community for oneself is impossible. Often, they are also people who once harbored unrealistic fantasies about just strolling up one day into a pre-existing community that was perfect for them, not realizing that we must form our relationships painstakingly one by one (it tends to be the white eggs/unhappy lonely trans people who are most prone to thinking of community in that way). there's plenty of trans guys who are doomers like this too and they really tend to actively encourage one another to remain locked away. it's like incel kind of behavior when it's taken to its most extreme form. sometimes, it can be outwardly really nasty homophobic shit too (especially among "afabs" who complain about "cis gays" never accepting them and being super privileged). in its milder form, it's just extreme trauma brain.

The people you do not hear from so much are the people who are busy out in the world going on dates, acting in plays, getting their asses spanked in dungeons, playing tabletop roleplaying games, and going to farmer's markets with their three also transgender wives. Those are the people who know (that is to say, have learned!) how to interact with their fellow queer people, have spent some time out in the community, and in all likelihood have many rich friendships with cis lesbians, cis gay men, enbies, asexuals, bisexuals, straight ish poly people, and everybody else under our big umbrella.

I don't want to be overly pollyannaish because of course trans people have a tough time, and especially trans women have unfortunately to be on the lookout for really vile transmisogyny. But I think when people are wounded and traumatized by these things, they sometimes make the entire world sound incredibly unwelcoming, which creates a self-limiting feedback loop of isolation and mistrust. That is what trauma does! But it is not the truth. and we only learn otherwise when we give other people the chance to prove our worst fears wrong.

Like, just for an example, this Sunday I was at a silent book club at Dorothy, a gay bar on the west side that skews lesbian but is for everyone. I'd never been there before but it was an absolutely charming experience! Dozens upon dozens of lesbians draped over couches and curled up in chairs with their books, quaffing cocktails, alongside a few random dots of gay and/or trans men. Trans women were just a natural completely unremarkable feature of this environment. I couldn't even tell you how many t girls were there. It would be like counting plus sized girls or butches at this lesbian function. If it's a good lesbian function, there's gonna be a diverse crowd and it won't be weird or a big deal to anyone, they'll just be like any other women there. a lot of the big lesbian events here in Chicago (like Strapped) are organized by trans women, so of course there's a robust trans femme presence there.

And all of these groups at this function were getting laid. the couches were overflowing with women, so many that girls were grabbing pillows to sit on and huddle together with their books on the floor. Girls canoodled and cuddled on couches. I saw a cis alt girl covered in facial piercings flirting with a very prim and proper trans girl who was dressed like a victorian governness. they didnt know one another, but after the silent book club hour was done, they left for a while together, then came back with some food. across from me and my friends, i watched them gathering up on the couch, the space between their bodies slowly closing up into nothing over the course of the evening. they flirted and touched and then left the bar together to (and im no expert on body language but i could pick up on this one) fuck eachothers tits right off.

and of course plenty of other lesbians and wlw paired off or tripled off and had their fun too. again, just like steamworks, fat people, thin people, black and brown people, white people, disabled people, neurodivergent people, trans people, older people, younger people, everybody was there. like any good queer space, it was just a reflection of humanity. there is always more that can be done to make these spaces more broadly accessible to full community. but part of that is by putting ourselves there.

again i dont mean to make it sound like finding and making one's space is easy! especially not for trans women! but I also don't want people to get seduced by the hopeless jadedness that some foment online. there are spaces that some trans women I know will never go to -- even an explicitly trans affirming bookstore like Women and Children First gives many trans women I know bad vibes they cant quite explain but all feel (the store is owned and run by old white cis lesbians, it's not surprising to me that it's a little fucked no matter their good intentions) -- and ive heard people say transmisogynistic stuff at events, particularly from "ill date anybody but cis men" type t boys (my brothers, i hate you). shit can be tough. very tough. but also, the world isn't all uniformly as hostile as it's made out to be. there are people who are desperate to meet you. I hope you will come out to find them.

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anticmiscellaney · 1 month

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I absolutely adore your work! What's your process been like for writing NewOldRare and developing Neil and Louis? Your art and character writing feel so genuine and realistic to me, so I'm really curious how you go about it!

Thank you! I've always been obsessed with character-driven stories and interaction, so I guess this is the result of years of practice and observation, and dismantling stories that do and don't work to see why.

Unfortunately, there isn't a clear way to explain it. It's one of those "you know when you get it right" things, requiring an eye developed over a long time. I will redraw things if I don't feel like I've captured the nuance I wanted to, and a few months later I'll look at it and see where I could have done better. Same with writing. I'm obsessed with pacing and page design, I had a moment of "that's how I think about it too" when Will Eisner described comic panels like music.

The technical approach is I make notes about stories I want to write, then I expand that into outlines, then scripts, then thumbnails, then I draw the comics and colour them and finalise the dialogue. At every stage I'm asking myself if it feels right, if I'm getting across what I want to. That's not to say there aren't surprises and things don't develop organically, but every stage is an attempt to solve as many problems as I can before the next stage. My thumbnails are quite detailed because it makes pencils easier, and I spend a while on them.

I have total aphantasia so I am operating off feeling rather than any mental images. I have no idea how it works and no idea why I pursue this when I'm missing what many visual artists describe as a crucial component. I just do it and I have better things to do (art) than wonder about something I can't change. I don't think it's made me a better or worse artist, though I think it has given me different ways of approaching/developing things. But also, literally everything about you makes your work different to everyone else's work.

You need to care. If your character is into music, listen to that music. If they have an old car that keeps breaking down, read up on common problems for that model. If they work as a film projectionist, watch a training film about using the machine. The characters care about things, have things in their lives that matter, have skills and interests and challenges. If I don't care enough to understand them, why should anyone reading it care, and also why am I writing it if I don't care?

So I do, and in caring I understand them better. This helps me develop characters/story but it also gives me so much more to write/draw. Understanding how things work and how they are done from a physical standpoint makes writing/drawing them easier too. The more you put into your head, the more you can get out later. I'll do way less for a 12 page short than for a 300 page graphic novel, obviously. Pick your battles, a little can go a long way.

They tell artists to collect visual references - solid advice - but you should collect substance too. If you pay attention, you will hear and see things you could never in a million years make up.

I find online socialising difficult, so I go out regularly and talk to people, or just hang around and observe. Chatting with strangers mostly involves listening to them. No one in gay spaces is interested in flirting with me (I'm rather homely and queer men assume I'm straight) but I think an audience is just as appealing sometimes, and maybe even harder to find. You'd be amazed what people will tell you if you're genuinely interested and listening. I once spent forty minutes at a sci-fi con talking to a guy who'd recently gotten into fisting. While I have zero personal desire to partake in that activity (and he had no interest in being fisted by me), I'm engaged, I'm invested, I'm asking questions, spare no detail.

I collect behavior and movement and the ways people interact too. Reading stories on reddit or whatever is one thing, but the words might not be as interesting as the way they're standing, the way their hands move, the way they respond. A guy in a bar once literally humped my leg like a dog because he felt I wasn't paying enough attention to him. I would never think of that as a response to that situation, but he did, and he followed through. Fortunately my friend had just tried to drunkenly sit down and missed the chair, otherwise I would never hear the end of it.

I see the leghumper around sometimes, he's got a boyfriend and avoids making eye contact with me, thank god.

#newoldrare #replied

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rustingcat · 6 months

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Lavender

"I feel like I'm more surprised than I should've been," Alex said as she took another swing from her beer.

"What do you mean?" Kara asked, taking a fistful of popcorn from the bowl.

Kara was at Alex's place for their weekly sister's night. Kelly and Esme were visiting James out of town while Alex had to stay for work. Kara used that opportunity to come out to her sister, telling her about her newly discovered feelings for Lena.

"I mean, well. Kara, you decided to have babies with her." Alex pointed out.

"Yes, but as friends." She explained.

"You moved in together!"

"It would be easier with the kids–"

"Do you hear yourself?"

"I–" saying all of that out loud did sound a bit weird. "Okay, so what does it mean? Did I like her like that before I knew I liked her like that?"

"Yes. Probably." Alex nodded and took another sip.

"How would I not know such a big thing about myself?" It didn't make sense.

"I mean, I didn't come out until a few years ago, it's a very normal thing to happen. Feelings are complicated." Alex said. She seemed a bit nervous, as she had much more to say.

"But it's not like I was against the idea, it wasn't really an issue on Krypton and you know that it was never a problem with you. It just didn't cross my mind!" She had nothing about the idea of being queer, she just didn't think about it much.

"Well you did act a bit weird when I first told you about it." Alex leaned forward, studying Kara's face as if she was looking for a reaction.

"What? No, I didn't! I was just a bit surprised. I just didn't think you'd be gay." She quickly explained, putting the popcorn down back on the table.

Alex took another swing from her beer and studied Kara for a moment. There was something in her eyes that Kara couldn't discern.

"You started dressing differently recently." Alex said, catching Kara off guard.

"What?"

"You're back to slacks and button downs, though you still have some tank tops and better fitting shirts."

"What does that have to do with anything?" She inquired.

"It's just, you seem more comfortable with your clothes."

"Um.. yes?" Kara wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"It wasn't until recently I think that I finally got it."

"Got what, Alex?"

"It was thanks to Esme. We talked about it briefly after I first adopted her. She had a lot of trouble fitting in even after a while. She's been through so much and was forced to hide her powers since she was born. You know, she's a very opinionated kid, yet I started to notice that she was holding herself back, she was so afraid to pick the stuff she wanted sometimes, it was heartbreaking to see. It made me think about you."

Kara swallowed hard. She wanted to say; how so? But found she couldn't bring herself to do it. As if she wasn't sure what Alex was getting to, but also part of her felt it deep in her bones. She was rendered speechless.

"Since you landed on earth, since your whole world fell apart, you were drilled how much you needed to suppress yourself. Instead of exploring yourself and finding new ways to express yourself in different ways, you spent your teenage years forced to swallow down everything that made you unique, everything that made you you. And even after you came out as Supergirl you started to slowly suppress yourself more as Kara, and I still just–" Alex took a moment to breathe, she seemed to have struggled with tears.

Alex wasn't one to cry. Even when Jeremiayah was pressumed dead she barely saw her cry, she did hear her sobs when she was hiding in a corner of the house and thought no one could see. Kara didn't know how to react back then, but she was closer with her sister now and didn't hesitate to scoot over on the couch and put a hand around her as she continued to talk. A talk Kara was still trying to process herself.

"It's not just the clothes, you started to walk differently, carried yourself more lightly in some sense. I really started to notice the change after you decided to fully come out and made the step to let yourself really be yourself. And–" she closed her eyes trying to blink away a tear. "I'm so sorry about everything I did, or said that ever made you hide yourself."

"Alex you have nothing to apologise for." She put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Yes I do. Kara, I said some terrible things to you. Things that I regret so much and I want you to know how sorry I am. You deserve this apology. "

This chapter ended up being longer than usual so the rest of this chapter is on AO3

#was waiting to write this one for a while #supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorptober #supercorptober2023 #my art #my fic

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kanmom51 · 9 months

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So I have this cousin who is a BTS army and also homophobic. She hates every gay romantic ship that ever exist in between BTS. She always watch the real content. Every Run BTS, Bon Voyage, Weverse Live etc. When we're tghter we sometimes talk about ship and everytime she express her disdain towards taekookers. She is aware about culties manipulated behavior. She always speak up towards those culties and I kinda admire that. Once we're having this ship talking and she said something that kinda shook me. She said 'I hate Jikook more than taekook'

And I was furious but can't say anything to her cause she doesn't know that I support gay relationship. My family is a strict religious family so it's prohibited you know. So I said why 'you hate their interaction'

Her answer is like this ' There's something between them that I can't pinpoint. It seems like they don't have any boundaries. I can tell even with my eyes closed taekook isn't real not even million years. I always find their interaction cute, brotherly or friendly . But about Jikook I'm not sure what to say. Jm always acted different when he is with Jk and so do Jk. Every member flirt with each other but Jm and Jk when they do that it makes me uncomfortable. Their flirting is suggestive not brotherly at all.' Then she also point out which bestie gift you a private journey then make a video out of it. Then there's ear sucking. Who the hell even do that. 'Comfort my best friend by sucking his ear' even straight couple don't do that.' And she is even more mad when Jm went NYC and didn't post anything, kept it private.

'Why he didn't post anything like he did with other member'

She also told me not to talk about Jm and Jk interaction 😆😆😆

She even went ia after Jk's recent live where he flirt with Jm. She said she need time to think

I hope she come around and support them😭😭😭

@toknowmebetter hi,

I'm actually glad you sent me this ask.

Just goes to show you exactly why big chunks of this fandom are just ignoring Jikook.

It's not about their hate of shipping. Some of them hate the shipping, like your cousin, who sees how demented TKKs are, JK and Tae's bond is friendship and how pushing a queer relationship on them is pure shit.

But, with Jikook it's not the shipping they can't deal with (many claim it is, but that's way easier than admitting otherwise).

With Jikook it's Jikook - JK and JM and what is between them - they just cannot deal with.

These two men are just too much for them to handle. They are too real, as in "this is not a friendship we are seeing here...this is an actual queer relationship...nope, not dealing with that..."

Their bond, their relationship, their flirting, their everything are just too much in their faces.

So they don't want to hear about the ship, but they mainly don't want to hear or see Jikook together. And when Jikook are Jikooking, they are playing the avoidance game.

Her comment about JM's trip to NY, that one caught me a little off guard. Even that. JM travelling to NY and staying private about it, has them off balance. Because once again, it's so damn obvious that JM was there for JK and JK alone, and what they had was theirs and private and just MORE than a bandmate going to support another bandmate. Even that, by now, is obvious to your cousin, and I can only assume many other army.

You know, those that we have been saying for years now that simply choose to ignore JM and JK, their bond, their connection, their chemistry, their love.

This here, is exactly why their friendship isn't even mentioned. Because people have eyes and brains and see that it's sooooo much more than just a strong friendship.

So they ignore.

They don't talk about them.

They don't celebrate JM going to support JK for his solo debut in NY but they celebrate Tae going on stage at Inkigayo.

They talk about JK's lives without mentioning the Jikookery.

They take JK's words and twist them just so they don't have anything to do with JM. And then when he mentions another member it's a full blown party.

They cannot avoid JK mirroring JM's Face concept in his Seven photoshoot, so they either joke about it (JK's lazy stylists) or name call JK (thief, lazy etc.), everything but saying it's intentional and meaningful.

Your cousin there, she's (?) not any different than a big part of this fandom. And yes, it's homophobia driven. And all about the denial.

"If we don't see it or talk about it, then it's not there".

So, when Jikookers say that most of army are TKKs, I don't really agree with that. Yes, there are a lot of TKKs out there. But I think it's less about them being TKKs and more about them unwilling to deal with the fact that 2 members of their favourite band are actually a queer couple. Much of this is homophobia driven, some of it is fear. Of what it actually means for 2 out of 7 to be romantically involved.

And then, for these fans, it's easier to celebrate TKK interactions because they are safe, friendly, NOT QUEER. While Jikook are all but just friendly, and that, to that part of the fandom is like:

#ask

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monsters-villains-and-bastards · 7 months

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(I am once again thinking about fallen hero (i never stopped))

Ya know, I feel like one of the reasons that fallen hero resonates so hard, at least for me, is how queer it is. Obviously, you can play as a cishet sidestep, but when you do play a queer sidestep? It *feels* queer.

Its rare that I come across a story that feels unapologetically queer. To me, there's a big difference between a story that features gay characters, a story that "is gay," and a Queer story. And even further, a story that is unapologetically queer.

With Fallen Hero, there's so many moments that are queer in a way I just, don't see often.

(I currently only have 1 sidestep who is a queer transman, so im comin at this from this perspective, but if anyone has played it other ways and would like to add, I would love to hear about your experiences with it)

When I play it, like I said, I currently have 1 sidestep who is a queer transman. So far, I've played it where he romances Ricardo, Wei, and Daniel (plus Ricardo and Wei, and Richard and Daniel). Each of them add something different to the story when they are romancing a transman that I can't help but adore.

The scene with Ricardo in his apartment, and sidestep is about to have the conversation about being trans, sidestep can panic because they don't know what exactly to say, how to do it, and what Ricardo's reaction is going to be. And you know what, yeah, that can be a very scary moment for someone who's trans. How do you tell someone you're trans when you don't know exactly what to say and how they'll react to it? And then, if Sidestep does tell him, Ricardo *cries.* He was so worried about Sidestep, and didn't know if he done something wrong, and he cries. There's also a point where he tries to make a joke or comment to lighten the mood and says something about being more familiar with those parts. And ya know what, ngl, that was a bit in poor taste but really funny. But I'm happy that it was included! Because sometimes people say things trying to lighten the mood and ya know what, sometimes it's a little bit like "why would you say it like that" and sometimes it's also funny. He's not perfect, he doesn't understand everything, but he's *trying.*

Either before or after that ( I can't quite remember, but ik it's within the same set of scenes), Sidestep can talk to him about being bisexual. Depending on the choice you pick, Ricardo can talk about growing up in Texas and that being gay or bisexual wasn't really okay. When he talks about his and Sidestep's past, there's a point where it's like, yeah, he would've been torn to shreds by the media if he was openly bisexual. And yeah, it isn't easy for everyone to come to terms with their sexuality, and it's easier to ignore it that try to deal with it, especially if you're going to experience public backlash on top of being raised in an area that was Not okay with queerness. It's scary!

One of the aspects I specifically love about Ricardo's romance, is that it's messy. You're playing a character that he knew in the past, thought was dead, and comes back into his life after so much has changed. Two people who have been broken down over the years of trauma they had to experience. There's so many ways you can play it that its hard to talk about all the ways in which the variations add their own mess to the situation too. So yeah, the romance can be so queer and so messy at the same time.

With Steel, if you're playing a trans sidestep, he already knows they're trans because of the pictures he got, but it doesn't change anything for him. He's a gay man who tells sidestep that who he sees is a man. It's that simple. He even tells sidestep that he was attracted to Sentinel, who was also trans.

With his romance, there is an age gap, but he didn't have attraction towards sidestep until after they came back, and they tried to become friends with each other. There's also some messiness with his romance if Ortega is a man because he had/has feelings for him.

With Herald, he's open about his attraction, isn't afraid to be who he is, and while at his apartment, he seems a bit nervous, he's also happy. When sidestep talks about being trans, there is a moment where he admits that he isn't sure what to say because he's gotten in trouble for it in the past, but he doesn't care, he happy either way.

For every romance in Fallen Hero, there's something messy about it. Every character has their own past with some kind of shadow looming over it. Everyone makes mistakes, eveyone has something that gives them sharp edges. None of them are perfect people. All of them are struggling with something.

Sidestep is also just an absolute dumpster fire of a person pretty much however you decide to play them. Sidestep, kinda sucks! Even if they're pretty good, by god, do they make dumb decisions!

And I do think its so important to note how much of a mess sidestep is, along with whoever they are with, if they are either a) with someone romantically, b) with someone sexually, or c) not with someone at all, because, imo, it differentiates itself from a story that has gay characters, a "gay" story, and a queer story.

When I think of a queer story, I think of the messy parts. The aspects that aren't "love at first sight" or two people who got it all figured out or "unproblematic" (sidenote: i do think we should remove the term problematic from people for a while), or two conventionally beautiful and young characters falling in love and having the most like. Heterosexual relationship you can have with 2 gay people.

Fallen hero doesn't really have conventional relationships. Even when discussing friendships, it's not conventional.

The story is Queer because of the unapologetically messy characters that exist within its setting. No one is perfect. No one has it all figured out. Sometimes a character doesn't know what to say or they stumble a little during those hard conversations about sexuality and gender. They're allowed to cry, or be confused, or understand. Not to mention that sidestep's morality can fluctuate between a good person who doesn't know what to do, to someone so unapologetically evil and proud. Allowing a character to be queer and their morals to be anywhere on that morality spectrum allows it to be a more queer story imo.

There's so much more that can be said, and could 100% be said by someone who's better at writing down those thoughts. But god, fallen hero is such a beautiful story. The conversations that can be had about it's themes of sexuality, gender, trauma, morality, neurodivergency, among other things is amazing. OUGHA, love this story.

#fallen hero #fhr #fallen hero rebirth #fallen hero retribution #sidestep #fhr sidestep

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bettyshoweduptotheparty · 22 days

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I think we (kaylors) slept on Timeless a bit, because it got so overshadowed by the horny gay masterpiece that is ICSY. But I love this beautiful heartfelt song so much, and I think, if any Taylor Swift song could be a wedding song, it would be this one. And that made me think…

We know this song is not from speak now era originally, it was listed on an earlier reputation track list and then removed, so it’s essentially a rep vault track. Had it been on reputation, the parallels and references would have been obvious:

The narrator and lover's first meeting: “time stood still/in a crowded room a few short years ago” = Delicate and Dress (dive bar, touching hands in dark rooms, secret moment in a crowded room)

Romeo & Juliet reference: “story of a romance torn apart by fate” -> Love Story (Karlie’s favourite song and caption of their first ever public photo together)

In addition to the above: "I'd die for you in the same way" is reminiscent of peace (I'd die for you in secret), but also generally really meaningful when you think about queer couples throughout history and how some of them would have payed for their love with their lives. She's willing to risk it all for this love.

“Run away and left it all behind” = CIWYW (“would you run away with me” “yes”)

“Sometimes there’s no proof you just know” = No proof, not much, but you saw enough (YAIL)

“We’ll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we’ve made” - Karlie is a well known collector of polaroid photos and allegedly keeps them in a safe deposit box.

“You’ll say ‘Oh my, we really were timeless” Now this reminds me of Mary’s song because of the ‘oh my’. Mary’s song is a similar friends to lovers story of two people growing up, falling in love and then getting married and having children in that very same place. In this last verse Taylor is describing growing old with her lover and looking back on their lives together. Big ‘don’t read the last page, but I stay’ vibes. Also just cute that she mirrors her little childhood fantasy of marrying a childhood friend with her own friends to endgame lovers story 🥰

And lastly, the whole ‘what if’ concept of the song seems like something you’d do if you’re...say... a closeted celebrity. Wondering if you'd have an easier life if you were 'normal people'. I can imagine post-2016 election Taylor and Karlie in their little love blackout bubble doing this mental exercise, because when things suck, it must be temping to imagine how much easier it would be 'if only'... Would we even have met if we were normal people? Of course we would have, because we were destined to find each other in every universe and against all hardship, including this one. Song concept born :) The 'you're worth all the hardship' sentiment is also very Slut!-coded, aka 'if they slut-shame me, it might as well be worth it for once'. The way the chorus changes to list all the potential difficulties ("headed off to fight in the war/ forced to marry another man") also makes it clear that it really doesn't matter what challenge comes at them, they'll be together regardless. Come hell or high water (or in their case, contractual obligations or beards with dodgy political ties) we will end up together. So, bottom line, it's a really beautiful kaylor song and probably one that gets forgotten because it was on Speak Now tv.

Happy fortnight until TPD, guys! 😉

#Spotify #kaylor songs #timeless #speak now tv

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pansyfemme · 7 months

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i think people are too quick to say that things like kink and polyamory are not inherintly queer bc cishet people sometimes partake in them. because like. maybe its just me, but i tend to think that if something is commonly practiced by queer people, has most of its origins in queer spaces and is intertwined with queer history, subverts cisheteronormative sexual norms, that kinda. makes it queer by nature. That’s not saying everyone who participates in that is queer themselves, but they are queer concepts. If the possibility that a cishet person could hypothetically do something instantly disqualifies every other tie to queerness, i’d consider thinking a bit deeper about the purpose of drawing that line. It’s not really me feeling that cishet people are queered by the experience, that is up to them to decide, i’m just a guy making a tumblr post, i don’t decide that shit. It’s not me feeling like I need to point out that it is simply easier to distance the queerness someone feels safe in versus what they find uncomfortable by simply removing the queer label from it rather than accepting that queerness can sometimes be confusing. It may be difficult to draw the line between what is queer or not, so you do it. You can’t figure out how to divide things, and so you divide them. It’s much harder to accept that perhaps that’s not the point of all this. I do feel that someone can participate in queer subculture and not hold an identity they consider queer. Body peircing has a history as a gay kink subculture, and yet not every person with body pericings is queer. It is still a queer concept with a queer history anyway. Queer spaces, queer concepts, queer community exists on an understanding of non-universiality. There is a simple knowledge that queerness, by nature, exists outside of traditional norms. And in a beautiful circular movement, these queer areas, founded on variance, vary themselves.

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zombiefishmonster · 10 months

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My Personal Kickin' It Headcanons

- yes another kickin' it post. i'm making as many as my heart desires. enjoy.

- Rudy Gillespie

+ big anime phase in highschool, specifically dragon ball z and naruto

+ had a HUUGE crush on bobby wasabi in grade school. his dad showed him his first movie, and he was obsessed. he doesn't feel romantically towards him now at all but he still holds him in a higher regard.

+ trans rudy bisexual rudy.

+ ty, lonnie and him have "guys nights", they sometimes invite bobby and phil but only sometimes.

+ the reason why he became a sensei and cares so deeply for his students is because his parents were neglectful, so he's determined to be there for any other kids who need it.

+ he definitely goes to all their weddings/events

+ i'd like to think he and ms. applebottom stay together.

- Jack Brewer

+ definitely had a crush on jerry at a point

+ he really likes percy jackson (this is me projecting)

+ the only social media he has is instagram, and it's just because everyone made him get it.

+ we know about his haircare, but i think he'd also take incredible care of his skin. he's also very naturally tidy, despite having his less than classy moments

+ divorced parents, but they really try despite having busy jobs

+ his grandpa mostly took care of him growing up

+ he got his first tattoo at 18, he got it for his grandpa

+ bisexual jack.

- Kim Crawford

+ the most Normal home life

+ i can't decide if she's pansexual or straight.

+ has mostly guy cousins

+ she's such a lowkey nerd. but like in the way she doesn't realize she's nerdy. she's really interested in the history of martial arts

+ she stayed in contact with sloane, and they moved in together, with jack, after high school

+ her room is a clothes MESS.

+ even though her parents are normal, most of her cousins and extended family are batshit

+ i also think she draws, mostly just sketches of things around seaford

+ even though she can't dance for shit, she can sing (this is kinda canon)

- Eddie Jones

+ repressed queer

+ he left seaford because his mom got a better job offer

+ unfortunately, this made him fall out of karate but he got way more into dancing

+ he has REALLY nice handwriting

+ he has an older sister, like 10 years older, but they're still really close

+ literally LOVES tv dramas. he really likes greys anatomy

+ his mom has a cat that she got a few years after he was born

+ he tries to keep house plants alive, but it always ends up dying

+ he keeps in contact with milton and jerry a little

- Jerry Martinez

+ he's a big frequenter of the hospital

+ he had a crush on jack at a separate time

+ he and milton move in together after highschool, that's when they start dating

+ takes milton to dancing lessons/teaches him himself

+ started dancing wayyy before karate, only started karate in middle school

+ he has dyslexia

+ like eddie, he's close with his sisters (wiki says he has 7 unnamed sisters; i think 3 younger, 4 older, making him pretty much middle)

+ he's not "good" at painting, but he enjoys it

+ he has a strong appreciation for country music

+ eddie got him in to greys anatomy, they text each other on episode release days

- milton krupnik

+ the MOST online of them all, he definitely had a tumblr

+ surprisingly, he made the first move on jerry

+ despite the fiasco in "the commercial," he continued baking and actually got wayyy better

+ he's got a single dad, who does really try but he struggles a lot

+ probably the most mentally unstable. i can't explain it but it's his vibes. (im projecting)

+ he got more into hair and makeup as he got older

+ after julie, he realized he was gay and likes jerry

+ he had a warrior cats phase

+ he helped the rest of them study for all their finals, and he doesn't like to brag, but it's DEFINITELY the only reason why they passed

+ he spends the most time at the dojo, his dad works a lot, so it's just easier for him to stay at the dojo and help out with different classes / help around the mall

+ huge huge HUUUGE HUGE. enjoyer of the ocean. i can't explain it but it's true.

#kickin it #kickin' it #rudy gillespie #jack brewer #kim crawford #eddie jones #jerry martinez #milton krupnick #aka me projecting for a whole post

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

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This might be a somewhat controversial opinion/rant, but as a black queer woman (i really id myself as being more genderqueer, but since i'm afab there are just things about womanhood growing up that has just stuck with me as formative experiences.), I find it really difficult to build community with queer men, even in fandom. I've tried to have friendships with transmen, but so many just feel the need to ramp up misogyny to 1000 to validate themselves as men, and then with gay men, some will say the most out-of-pocket, misogynistic things but because they're not attracted to women, it's somehow okay, I guess. But lately, there's been this trend among queer men of saying and doing misogynistic things but justifying it by stating they're talking about white, cishet women. But the thing is, there's nothing in what they said that can be specifically applied to only white women. It's a target to all women (I refuse to play the oppression olympics of who has it worse). And now I see other queer women in fandom saying the same things to each other. I typically stay in anime/manga and danmei fanbases because that's where a lot of my interests are now, and I don't have to deal with USAian nonsense as much. But now that 7 Seas has unfortunately decided to translate more danmei into English that's changed. A queer male fan of a popular series has been unfollowed en masse by danmei fans for saying wildly misogynistic things about the author. Everyone all week has been scrambling to figure out where this came from. "He only ever said these things about cishet white women," but you guys... he was always talking about us the whole time. Now, I just don't know. Now I see why men aren't generally welcomed in or are common within romance-genre circles. It's just really frustrating to see the same thing over and over again. I'll add on that the only genuinely cool queer men in fandom I've met have come from yuri circles. The ones who try to talk about BL are, from my experiences, generally misogynistic, toxic, and feel as though everything should center around them because they're men and in BL the characters are men, as well. But when other women don't want to form community with them, they scream about 'homophobia' and 'fetishizing gay men.' No, you're just an annoying, awful person to be around, and the queer male yuri fans didn't want to deal with you either. Has anyone else, or you specifically, dealt with this? Is there a way to become friends with more queer men in BL spaces who aren't... like That? Or are there specific things/patterns to look for as far as who to avoid?

God, so much of this sounds so familiar.

I've known a sad number of trans dudes who overcompensate in dickhead ways. A lot of them do calm down a few years into presenting publicly as male, but it's infuriating to see that crap even if it's temporary.

I will say that two of my close circle of offline friends are trans men, including one who came out during the time we've all been friends. The defensive tomfoolery is in no way inevitable. Both of these dudes are nonwhite and have experience in various other geeky and queer spaces beyond BL (gaming, drag queens, etc.). Maybe that broader perspective helped, or maybe they're just nicer and more mature people than a lot of the little jerkfaces I run across online.

TBH, I often have better luck in offline meetups because to show up at all, people have to be a little more comfortable with getting along with others and behaving themselves. It's also sometimes easier to detect the people you want to back away from slowly when you can see how they treat people in person.

One of my neighbors is a cis gay guy. White, able bodied, middle class, yadda yadda. Exactly the demographic you'd expect to be the worst in certain spaces. He and his partner have lots of queer friends, and plenty of them aren't fellow cis gay guys, which is basically my litmus test for non-annoying cis gay guys offline. (Toxic cis gay dude culture is its own kettle of fish with a different set of issues than defensive trans boy culture, but I've encountered it plenty too.)

This neighbor is interested in geikomi and was delighted to find out I'm a fellow nerd and eager for all my nonfiction book recs about queer Japanese stuff. We don't necessarily overlap in our manga tastes, but there's still a lot we do share. When I ramble on about how AFAB queer people and/or bisexuals study history that's presented as cis gay men's history because that's all we have for most historical periods, he's like "Yeah, that makes total sense!" and not "Mine and not yours!"

I think the key here is that this is a dude who is secure in his identity, who's getting both his media and queer community needs met, and who's in his 40s, so he has some god damn perspective and doesn't need to pretend BL is aimed at him.

A lot of the little jerkfaces make me think "Did your preschool teacher not teach you how to share your toys?"

To be honest, there seem to be plenty of dudes hanging around my tumblr. A few cis. Many trans. But they're not going to bring it up incessantly in some defensive "you know I'm not a cootie-having girl, right?" way because who does that?

It comes up when there's a discussion about trans shit or BL as #ownvoices or whatever. (And, in general, any dude worth hanging out with will not think BL as an industry is, or should be, anything of the sort—even if he's expressing his own sense of queerness by writing some.)

On the flipside, I have seen some pretty extreme "no boys allowed" clubhouse nonsense in fandom. It's less common than it was, and past shitty dudes have often been the inspiration, but it can still be a bit much. The nicer class of fandom dude is often pretty hesitant in certain spaces because he's expecting to be met with hostility and is trying to figure out how to participate without tromping all over everyone. (TBH, the guys worrying about this are rarely the problem, but you know how it is.)

I've had dudes send me private messages being like "this thing you said seems kind of stereotypical and anti-man", but in the adult capable of conversation way, not in the tantruming 5-year-old way. And we had a conversation, and they stuck around.

I think having a very clear "It's not #ownvoices, fuck off" stance deters a lot of the more pestilential set. Being equally clear that everyone is welcome and that male yuri fans and female BL fans are pretty equivalent makes the guys worth knowing come out of the woodwork.

In 99% of spaces, I do not give a fuck if some man has his precious feelings hurt by a double standard or default suspicion of men... But fandom is a little unusual because of the demographics and relative power here being so different from in most spaces.

I've definitely seen some people who think women liking BL are fine because we care about characters' personalities, while male fans are all predators or all write f/f that is just fetishy porn or m/m that sounds like Nifty.org and not other fanfic or whatever.

And, yeah, I'll shut down the dumbasses crying in my inbox because I made a joke about Nifty and "coke can dicks" (the kind of guys who have clearly never read m/m that's aimed at dudes outside of fandom spaces), but at the same time, we should extend a little benefit of the doubt to our fellow fandom members of whatever gender. There are usually plenty of men facepalming right along with me at these inexperienced young fools who cannot bear to share.

I think you're just running into the problem that the loud people whose identities you know are often using those identities to browbeat other fans on social media.

There are fewer men in BL spaces than women or nonbinary people, so one will typically end up knowing fewer men.

Honestly, I think you find the reasonable people and get rid of the unreasonable ones in the same way regardless of gender: Gatekeeping bullshit is a red flag. Very Online understandings of oppression are a red flag. Enthusiastic and clueless blanket endorsement of own voices as a concept is a red flag. Lots of talking about "fetishization" or even "appropriation" in a very online way is a massive red flag. Monetizing fanfic or seeing other pro authors as competition instead of peers is another. (Professional jealousy and fear about earning potential are behind a lot of bad behavior.)

A lot of it is down to whether you're willing to make yourself a target by publicly telling annoying people to fuck off.

If others can tell what you stand for, they can figure out if they want to hang out with you. Most people keep their heads down a lot of the time, so it can be hard to even hear of them, let alone know if they're your sort of person.

tl;dr – Be nice to nice men. Tell shitty men to take a hike. Making friends with men is really as simple as that.

There are larger issues here with what kinds of queer spaces exist and whom they prioritize and with toxic understandings of what representation even means and what should be demanded of whose art. But as you say, a lot of women are also promoting toxic-ass understandings of these things.

The bottom line is that we must resist social media clout-driven understandings of justice. The loudest assholes in the room are rarely worth listening to.

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ghostcombustion · 2 years

Text

Harrington's Little Sister

Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader

Construction criticism is always appreciated. I do take requests :D Also, it's the last day of pride month so why not do something gay?

Summary : Scared to come out of the closet because of what the outside world might think, Y/n falls in a deep whole until she unexpectedly runs into someone.

Mentions : slight suicidal thoughts, homophobia

Word Count : 1,079

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Ever since you were younger, you always wondered why you couldn't be normal. Sure, your brother was practically the most popular guy in school but that didn't make you feel any more normal.

When it came to your brother, you were slightly scared of him. Of course, you knew Steve was a good guy, but you didn't know whether or not he would be accepting of you. And you didn't want to risk your relationship with him.

Stuck. You were absolutely stuck in a role you hated. One of the most thought-after girls in Hawkins. Pretending that you want to kiss him but rather, you wished it could be her.

The first day you passed her in the halls, it was love at first sight. Something about her was so enticing, but you knew you didn't have a chance. Even if there was the slimmest chance of Robin Buckely being gay, why would she go after you? You hung out with all the douchebags anyway so who would want to date you?

You watched her from the shadows. Hell, you were tempted to join band just to talk to her. Instead, Carol got you on the cheer team making the two of you live in two different worlds.

What made everything worse was Steve trying to find you a good man. You wished every night he would understand that's not what you want and never would.

Sometimes you thought life would be easier if you just didn't exist. Maybe in your next life, you would be normal.

Slowly, you began to resent your older brother. You were mad that he was an asshole to anyone who wasn't like him. You were angry that he chose to hang out with even bigger assholes. You were upset that he kept trying to control your life. And you were jealous he was able to love who he wanted to love.

You had seen the protest on Tv. Everyone has! Where they say it's not acceptable and is downright wrong. And you've seen your dad sit on the couch and nod his head. Big man's proud his kids are 'normal'; you guys aren't freaks. You were far from everything the world thought you were. You were basically an actor.

"Steve!" You exclaimed as he proceeded to break Jonathan Byer's camera.

It was wrong of him to do. The pictures were so wrong but in a way, photography was his escape. That camera didn't look cheap either. Yes, he deserved it, but a part of you felt wrong.

"Yeah! Get the hell out of here, queer." He mumbles while swinging back around to face you, Tommy, and Carol. "He deserved it."

You scoffed, "Yeah, maybe he did but did you have to call him that?"

Steve casually shrugged and rolled his eyes, "Why does it matter Y/n? If he did that to you, I would have beat his ass."

"That's not what I'm talking about!" You exclaimed before walking in the other direction.

"Where are you going?" He shouted out with a confused expression.

"Fuck off Steve!"

You could faintly hear Carol and Tommy start laughing, but you didn't care. Once you knew they couldn't see you, you ran. Where to? You didn't know. You just couldn't bear to see your brother's asshole behavior.

As much as you tried not to think about it, Steve's words bounced around in your head. He really would hate you if he found out, wouldn't he? Then he would tell dad and--- you didn't even want to think about it.

You could feel your heart wanting to jump out of your chest and your eyes beginning to sting with tears. So you shut them and kept running. That's what you did until you ran face-first into something and slammed into the ground.

"Why the hell....." You could feel your face beginning to turn bright red with embarrassment. You quickly jumped up and dusted off your pants before reaching your hand out. "here, let me help you."

The freckled girl scoffed and got up on her own before beginning to walk away.

A pain in your heart made your mouth start speaking, "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going."

She turned around with her arms crossed. An annoyed expression was present on her face. "Yeah, sure. Apology accepted."

Her raspy voice made your heart just utterly melt. As she began to walk away, you took a few steps forward.

"Robin!" You called out without a single thought in your head.

The brunette swung around with a confused face, "You know my name?"

You rapidly nodded your head, "Yeah. Robin Buckley. A sophomore who's in band and plays the trumpet. Usually eats lunch in the hallways and always, always has an apple with her."

She lets out a little chuckle, "Observant, aren't you, Harrington?" She looked behind you and then behind her. "So, where are they?"

This time, you let out an awkward laugh, "What?"

Robin scoffed, "This has to be some sort of prank because there is no other reason why one of the most popular girls at this school is talking to me."

Nervously, you begin to fiddle with a piece of your hair, "Yeah, no prank. Just me. I was actually trying to get away from my brother and his friends. Sometimes, they're way too douchey."

"No not just sometimes, all the time."

You let out a hearty laugh, "You can say that again. It's called having no brain cells."

Robin raised a brow, "The asshole gene didn't get passed down to you, did it?" A sly smile is present on her face.

"Steve took all of it. Absorbed it like nutrients."

A soft sigh leaves your lips as the brunette lets out a loud chuckle. Your eyes can't help but scan her body as she continues on with her chuckling. Soon enough, you can feel a heat rush up to your head making you snap your head in a different direction.

"if you're so different from him, how about we hang out?"

Your eyes open wide. You smile as a happy dog would. "Yeah! No, yeah! I would totally be up to it. I'm like free every day besides cheer practice, but I'm 100% willing to skip for you." You slap a hand against your head and turn away embarrassed. Too obvious. God, you really need to learn how to talk to girls.

"you're weird. I like that "

#stranger things #stranger things netflix #stranger things x reader #robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #harrington's sister #lesbian #gay #be who you areeeeee show your prideeeeeeee

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riverthebooknerd · 5 months

Text

LINKED UNIVERSE HEADCANONS BECAUSE FUCK YOU

(mostly wild, time, twilight, sky, and wind centric cuz those are the main games i've played)

they're all trans

people think that time is the dad of the group but nah. it's twilight

four uses "we/us" pronouns (they/them but actually plural)

wild will either cook the most delicious fucking food you've ever seen in your goddamn life or a pile of rocks (canon)

wind can see ghosts. they all know this. however, sometimes he'll say that there's a spooky ghost when there's not just to freak them out (wild knows. he doesn't say shit bc it's funny)

sky can cook one (1) dish and it's pumpkin soup (he learned after he had to work at the lumpy pumpkin to repay them for breaking shit) (everything else he makes is inedible)

most of them are nonverbal (bc autism and also ptsd)

you'd think that time knows sign language but NO because he grew up in a forest around fairies who don't have? visible hands?? i think?? (he learns sign from wild)

also i've seen people say that time Doesn't Cuss which is simply Not True. let him say fuck. he deserves to say fuck.

the only one of them who doesn't cuss is probably sky. but there are exceptions

actually no i take it back. that fucker says fuck too

All Of Them Should Say Swear Words

please they're so tired just let them say fuck

the ones who have a hookshot are ecstatic to tell the ones without a hookshot about the joys of using it (ex: sky showing it off to wild, who has stars in his eyes, talking about how it'd make climbing in the rain so much easier)

speaking of sky and wild- the realize that there's a merchant named beetle in both of their eras. weird as shit. sky is like "wtf" but wild kinda just nods and goes "yeah okay why not sounds about right tbh"

nightmares

have i mentioned nightmares? because they all have nightmares

also nearly all of them have had Queer Encounters and they vent about it!!

sky talking about how ghiriham was UNFAIRLY hot

twilight still sad over midna :( (they're gay btw don't question it they just are)

(wind is an exception bc. he's a fuckin child)

wild lowkey bein like "yeah tbh.... ganondorf before he was mummified?"

time has a wife. time loves his wife

wasn't there that one ship with hyrule/ravio?? haven't played that game so idk but they seem gay (edit: oop it was legend/ravio not hyrule/ravio lololol)

fuck what was this post about again?

they all sleep with a weapon under their pillow (or with no pillow!! just weapon! :] )

some of them (sky) are very heavy sleepers while others (time) are very light sleepers

it's a nice balance because twilight and wild will wake up at the ass crack of dawn and then wind won't wake up until noon. they make a schedule

people also portray them as being So Fucking Awkward but i disagree. have you PLAYED a zelda game? these fuckers will waltz into town, fix every single person's problems, and become the new village icon in the span of two hours. they're so fucking friendly omfg

like these fuckers have fought MONSTERS they've fought DRAGONS and CORPSES and the KING OF EVIL they ain't afraid of a little human interaction (except when they are)

hylia will throw them in a room together and they'll all be like "hi!! :] am link i go hyah" "omg no way me too!! :0 look at my shiny sword and my bag of bombs" "sick"

sky would be like so fucking guilty like "im sorry i failed and got cursed by a demon king guys :(((" and everyone else would be like "oh nah don't even worry about it lmao happens to all of us"

maybe i'll make a pt 2 once i finish my homework who knows

#linked universe #legend of zelda #loz #link #every single link #all links #link loz

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the-bloody-sadist · 9 months

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Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

Ooooooooo I LOVE YOU FOR ASKING ME THIS QUESTION!! THAT'S SO FASCINATING! THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME! If my friends know anything about me it's that I LOVE to psychoanalyze, so let's see what I can do here *cracks every knuckle*---

I'll preface by saying I have NOT read any het romance in the MANGA world at least--or otherwise japanese/chinese/korean sources--but did grow up only reading/watching/writing that and thinking I hated romance in general because it was so fucking boring LMAO. If I can compare any het media to non-American BL media, I would have to say anime is my only reference!

With that said, I came through the same arc you did. I tried het romance my whole life, suddenly fell upon BL, said WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY IS IT SO GOOD COMPARED TO THE SHIT I'VE BEEN READING, never went back to het romance, and now do BL in all shapes and forms full-time.

What seems to be the big factor in BL/yaoi being so much more enjoyable is that there's an inherent difference in the dynamic of male/male vs. male/female--as portrayed by media, at least. And there's just something about that dynamic that makes it more gripping. It's easier to feel that line of tension between the characters, not to mention the fact that most male/male couples' conflict is far more relatable than the ones I see in female/male. In het media, I tend to see incredibly petty choices of conflict, whereas a LOT of BL chooses trauma, mental illness, and sometimes the acceptance of being gay as the reasons the couples struggle.

I identify far more with those issues than I do with the more stupid conflicts I see in het media like "HE'S WITH ANOTHER GIRL WHATEVER SHALL I DO!" (and it's just his sister) or "HOW DO I KNOW IF I ACTUALLY LIKE HIM? MAYBE I DON'T! LET ME THROW HIM FOR LOOPS AND GO BACK AND FORTH!" and other common, annoying tropes. Especially the jealousy and love triangles. BL does some love triangles, but it's just less...petty? There are usually more founded issues for the conflict that comes from those situations.

I say this with hesitation, but I also feel that BL/yaoi tends to have more creative and unseen concepts than het media. Actually--erase that hesitation. I believe that wholeheartedly. They tend to choose traumatic situations more often than het media--and this is the important part--THEY PORTRAY THEM IN A MORE REALISTIC MANNER.

This doesn't go for all BL because of course it doesn't. An entire genre of different writers--many good and many bad--can never have a singular good trait shared between all of them. But the majority of BL that I've read that include scenes of rape, child abuse, or sex trafficking keeps some sense of terror and gravity to the situation. That's something I tend to see less of in het media. Instead, things often feel more exploitative or voyeuristic. Suffering as a spectacle, as they say. However, it may just have something to do with the female gender being the victim, which we've all seen countless times in all shapes and forms. It feels fresh and new to see a male character going through those issues, instead.

On that topic, I would add that the main audience for romance as a whole has always been dominated by women, so women are more likely to be the consumers of both het and queer romance. When it comes to yaoi, the automatic power balance of male/female is gone, leaving only male/male and opening the option for different ways to imbalance that power--automatically feeling more creative and new than the age old female-victim-male-aggressor-but-he's-kinda-hot trope. In addition to this, so many het romances have unapologetic portrayals of romanticized abuse (The Notebook, 50 Shades of Grey, Blade Runner [speaking to the romance PLOT, sorry, more obscure], the After series, The Kissing Booth, and so on) that never get brought up, never seem to affect the female lead negatively, and always get the couple together in the end. This is endlessly infuriating to me and I've never enjoyed the popular het romances for this reason. It feels like gaslighting--gaslighting of the audience--to see harsh moments of outright abuse and then see the female lead react as if it's sexy, and to feel nothing but gut-freezing disgust as a viewer. It's even more painful when the audience around you also reacts in that way because they're so used to seeing it in your everyday het romance.

Contrasting this with yaoi/BL media--this issue is completely flipped. Countless stories show abuse, address the abuse, portray the male lead suffering from the effects of that abuse, and proceed with a motivation to fix, endure, or to run away from that abuse. To claim that yaoi/BL has less romanticization of said abuse is not wholly true, but the problem for me has always been that het romance PRETENDED THE ABUSE DID NOT EXIST AND/OR IS SEXY AND NORMAL. Whereas yaoi seemed more self-aware that they were writing abuse, and--if they chose to romanticize it--more often did so because the abuse was being experienced through the eyes of the victim. This is important because victims of abuse in reality DO this to cope and survive, so the romanticization is a direct result of a trauma response, and it's made far more clear in yaoi that this is the case.

This is why the kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome romances (Killing Stalking at the top), and toxic relationship themes in BL are far more attractive and validating to read.

Say, for instance, the romances that include themes of kidnapping, sexual assault, and captivity in het media. What have we got for that that's good and actually explores the nature of abuse? What I tend to see that meets that criteria (possibly) isn't really included in the romance category at all--it's either listed as horror or it's a lightened romcom version of that event (kidnapping, specifically)--unless you think of the more popular ones like 365 Days where it's supposed to be sexy and everyone has no brain. I might be flimsy on my point here, since this is the first time I've tried to pick apart this subject, so I apologize. But in addition to these het romances with the themes that I'd like to see not really existing in a way that's been done WELL--I also personally can't watch a woman getting hurt the way I can watch a man getting hurt.

We've seen enough women suffering onscreen, and most of the times the way it gets filmed ends up feeling sexualized in some way--especially if it's a horror movie or a thriller romance. I personally don't enjoy the lack of emotional depth in these types--and clearly they're most often written to be sexy or shock horror more than serious. Trauma doesn't feel real in these stories, so it's intensely triggering to watch it happen onscreen without a resolution to that trauma.

Going back to yaoi/BL, their romances include and very often feature abusive relationships or straight-up hostage romances. But the way they're handled is the big difference. Even though some treat the abuse like sexy porn scenes and I find myself dropping them for the same triggers that set me off in het media, this is much less of a problem, and you can get your thrills without the invalidation of watching trauma happen without being treated like trauma. There's often an arc of learning for the abuser, the relationship healing/improving (and I don't care that it's not morally correct or realistic for this to happen because it's fiction and we all need our coping mechanisms for reality), and a satisfying end where both the characters learn how to love each other. In their own way.

This makes the trauma feel raw and the healing feel rewarding, which is what I come to see. It feels like more BL writers get this and have actually been through some shit.

Lastly, it's not weird that you feel this way, and I'm worried that the discourse on social media about people who exclusively enjoy yaoi/BL has influenced that belief in a lot of people. It shouldn't be that way, and I hope people come around to the actual logic instead of copy-pasting what everyone else says to fit in!

IN ANY CASE, I HAVE RAMBLED FAR TOO LONG ON PRETTY MUCH THE SAME POINT, BUT I HOPE THIS HELPED!! That's the main difference that I'm drawn to yaoi for and I hope it might have helped you see why you are, too!!

Much love to you, and again, thank you SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME THIS QUESTION!! I loved getting to answer that.

#sadist’s answered asks #yaoi manga #yaoi discourse #I REALLY HOPE THAT WASN'T SUPER SLOPPY #I NEVER LEARNED TO WRITE ESSAYS ONLY FICTION #PLEASE HAVE GRACE FOR MY ABILITY TO MAKE #A POINT #THIS IS A THING I'VE LONG MUSED OVER #BUT IT'S SO HARD TO DIRECTLY PINPOINT IT IN WORDS #IT'S JUST A FEELING YOU KNOW?

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windypuddle · 1 year

Text

enstars headcanons

ok im going in order but i dont have headcanons for a few characters for sure. so. whatever on we go . just saying in advance these are mostly gender and Autism

fine:

eichi tenshouin: look i cant say anythinf about this guy hes already canonically terminally ill and gay. like what do you want me to do

wataru hibiki: genderfluid. whatever gender fits the performance. shes the moment hes the star theyre the epitome of an actor

tori: boy you are so gnc. princess but not a girl you know

yuzuru: has definitely had impulse thoughts about dying his hair and having a scene phase at 3 am

trickstar

hokuto: bigender. sooooo queer . also autistic

mao: um ritsu braided his hair sometimes when they were younger

ryuseitai:

chiaki: trans guy i have many feelings about this but he leans into the hero thing because its gender affirming. also autism

kanata: no gender only blublublub. likes wearing long skirts. filipino. has like 1 million fish earrings. also autism

tetora: TRANSMASC ‼️💥💪

midori: transfem... also autistic.. she is so important

shinobu: Autism Autism Autism. bonus the detachment from gender that sometimes comes with the autism but he hasnt really thought about it. hes just some guy

alkaloid:

hiiro: transmasc autistic i will die on this hill

aira: my lovely mutuals have convinced me with blasian aira its canon to me now. white french? no. cowards happyele are cowards i tell you. theres such a vast portion of the francophone world that is not white . also transmasc

mayoi: scaredgirl weirdboy core. whatever gender is easier at the moment. she likes being pretty

tatsumi: ok yknow what. fuck it. aroace tatsumi

eden:

nagisa: so much autism. nonbinary guy. religious trauma

ibara: lesbian. not going to elaborate bc thats not my problem ibara is just a lesbian

hiyori: hes just gay idk what to tell you. cisboy gay who is so annoying. when people complain about "gay isn't a personality trait" theyre complaining about him. also chubby

jun: also gay but fans love him for being normal about it. one of his main motivations for working out is being able to princess carry hiyori. hes so polite usually its insane but with eden he doesnt care because he loves them so hes a bit of a bitch

valkyrie:

shu: god is a woman and her name is shu itsuki. transfem and autistic i will Also die on this hill.

mika: transmasc and autistic

2wink:

hinata: men liker but dont ask me about her gender idk

yuuta: i see those slipups in twin peaks girl u are transfem nonbinary i think

crazy:b:

rinne: bigender [wild cheering] also demi aka down bad for niki specifically

niki: tboy swag but hes not really bothered too much about medically transitioning. arospec i think

himeru: Sooooo nonbinary. so so so nonbinary. i like to hc afab nonbinary himeru and mainly got top surgery to more easily pass as kaname but like gahdamn of course you have blue hair and pronouns (they/it/no pronouns)

kohaku: tboy swag . the gender in crazy:b is off the charts

Undead:

rei: 1 million genderqueer and SO gay. has all the problems of an older sister but also the hotness that comes with issues u know.

kaoru: ok. bear with me. aussie. also transfem... like what do you mean you hate men and only hang out with girls. definitely arospec

koga: AUTISM!! weirdgirl to autism boy wonder transmasc swag pipeline

adonis: also autism. he can be gnc. as a treat

akatsuki:

keito: come on man we all know youre gay and insufferable about it

kuro: he should get to have piercings i think

souma: autism boy wonder. while you were busy learning social cues he was studying the blade. also applies to gender norms

ra*bits:

nazuna: boy there is something gender going on with you. weirdboy or maybe a gender cis people have never heard of.

tomoya: That Is The Normalest Girl I've Ever Seen

mitsuru: autism

hajime: girl what is your gender. hes like the narrator of the arch nemesis cynthia post. so poor they cant afford a gender

knights:

tsukasa: autistic and please please please let him be chubby. staring at happyele with my biggest saddest eyes Please let tsukasa be chubby. while you're at it can he wear a skirt. please

leo: ok i give a lot of characters autism because i have autism and i get it but i think leo has adhd

izumi: agender. any pronouns. idk what to tell you he said in next door that he doesnt care about gender only beauty

arashi: only normal one in knights. i love aranee she should get 1 million hours to stress bake if she wants to

ritsu: ah i understand why vampires are gay. occasionally a girl if its funny

switch:

natsume: Diversity win!! the angry witch is transmasc!!! neurodivergent but i think its funnier if i dont specify.

tsumugi: new gender unlocked its pathetic wifeguy. hes every spirit in the fields of punishment and he does it willingly for natsume

sora: wahoo autism ^_^ yippee!!

madara: is cowboy a gender?

feel free to reblog and throw in ur own headcanons i love hearing other fans hcs it is so awesome!!

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