#man has 0 braincells | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

evilminji · 8 months

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Okay... so it COULD be because, as a writer, I'm an ASSHOLE to my Characters...

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE FUNNY?

Danny, innocent, gets YEETED into DC. As ya do. And he's a bit messed up. But! He's a Baby Ancient in the making. Gonna be master of Spaaaaaace(~~~☆!) one day. Very exciting, only slightly relevant.

See, Ectoplasm? Dumb. That's why we need Cores and Brains etc. Never let Ectoplasm decide things. It WILL chose the "technically correct but now the buildings on fire" option EVERY SINGLE TIME. And you are running out of fire extinguishers.

Because it is dumb.

Very, VERY No Brain, Just Goo, Dumb.

And THIS Goo has a life to save. A Halfa too maintain in Peak Performance(tm). Because THIS Goo is VERY smart Goo(according only to itself) and TOTALLY knows what it's doing! Damaged meat bits? Oh that's EASY! You just FIX that! Replace with meat bits! See? It's BRILLIANT Goo. 10 out of 10 stars, me!

Small problem.

The instructions have been damaged.

PANIC.

Wait! No! We got this! We are Very Smart Goo(tm). And have Space Powers. This is FINE. We'll... we'll just FIX the instructions! Hand me a hammer! If we smash enough bits together, it'll sort? Of look right? Close ENOUGH? Yeeeeeah. We're GENIUS Goo~

Use THAT!

But where did they GET their ill begotten DNA? Well OBVIOUSLY the place all the OTHER DNA they had was stored, DUH? Keep up, says the Goo with literally no braincells making horrifying choices for an unconscious man. It's Earth.

As in... the planet.

It's not even HIS planet. It's AN Earth. A Planet CALLED "Earth" that dwells in the DC universe, not his, and is covered with ZERO(0) Fentons but plenty of superhumans and aliens. THAT planet.

The Goo grabbed the Very BESTEST Meat Instructions it could FIND! The Goo is also a collective and did not AGREE on what the "Best" WAS. But it's... okay, no, I can't lie to you, it is NOT fine.

But thankfully it IS stable.

Because Ectoplasm may be dumb and indiscriminate as super-bacteria with a flamethrower, but it is a MASTER at the jigsaw of Life. It can reanimate ANYTHING.

Including the now SINGLE MOST CHIMERAD MAN you've ever SEEN. Who is he related too? YES. His left knee is Kryptonian, the fingers on his right hand are Tameranian, his skin tone has shifted to the most ambiguously multi-ethnic tone imaginable (think that future of humanity mock up, where they combine every ethnicity on the premise that inter-racial marriage will becoming increasingly common up to the point where we all just kinda look averaged out thanks to the ease of travel) because it's trying to do all of them at once and none of them are willing to back down, because all of them got the instructions "Be Skin". He might have Slade Wilson's cheek bones and hair.

Danny wakes up and basicly is half Ectoplasmic Goo, half the extended Super Community.

AND CANT GET BACK HOME TO FIX IT.

Because of course this IS fixable. It's just medical shape-shifting. But without HIS template, undamaged. His body is REFUSING to change from what is OBVIOUSLY the CORRECT form. And he keeps getting clocked as "probably related to me".

With the Fenton Luck kicking in? The parts of him people manage to swab and/or get DNA from? Keep MATCHING them. Danny doesn't know WHO is behind this but-! *spots a giggle child with a cat* !!!!!!

You.

Klarion you little SHIT!

So now he's wearing a face that's BARELY his, running from very determined superhumans who want to parent him, trying to steal enough technology to build a portal. AND vowing to kick the witch boy's ASS.

This ISNT FUNNY, KLARION.

His body is Frankenstein's FEVER DREAM! Every time he gets hurt, it tries to "FIX" itself! He lost a chunk of his should back there and HIS ENTIRE BODY CHANGED SKIN TONES. He's pretty sure if he SITS funny, his teeth might fall out and regrow POINTY! He's handing you over to WALKER you horrible little gremlin child!

Just? Take the "Danny is related to X" and "Danny is sick" and turn them uuuuup. Make EVERYBODY concerned except Danny. This is just another fucked up adventure in a long string of fucked up adventures. Give him his DNA back. If he has to suffer the Fenton Luck then he should AT LEAST get to keep the Fenton "built like a tank"!

*gets hit again*

*is GREEN now for some reason* The fuck?

Garfield, aka Beast Boy: I HAVE A CLONE SON!?

Danny: Zone DAMN IT not another one!

@ailithnight @hdgnj @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter

#tw body horror #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #danny phantom #never let the Goo drive #chimera au #Danny looks A BIT like everyone #just enough to be suspicious #chaos happens and klarion laughs

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hijacksecrets · 4 months

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On my second watch through of Race to the Edge, and man, could you imagine if we'd gotten a villain like Viggo instead of Drago in HTTYD2? Like, instead of this big dumb brute who just wants power (that essentially is no different than the other types of vikings that Hiccup deals with every day), if Hiccup actually had an intellectual opponent who gave him a run for his money (and hell, maybe even some moral challenges?)

(don't talk to me about Grimmel, i know technically he was like that but Hiccup had 0 braincells in httyd3 and just overall this household is a zero httyd3 tolerance household, thank you. Also Viggo has way more charisma than Grimmel)

RTTE has its faults but overall the good moments in the show are REALLY good, and I love how they did Viggo - I just wish he were in something with a higher budget T0T

#my art #my stuff #how to train your dragon #viggo grimborn #race to the edge

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alle-ni · 7 months

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My thoughts about goodomensverse (I'm clinically insane) (my personal opinion) (long post)

Book Crowley:

- absolute disaster

- lonely boy

- grumpiest

- he's so in love with Aziraphale but didn't even realised yet

- a bit dumb sometimes ngl

- very tired

- he's trying so hard save earth and everything he knows but everytime he tries to explain why it's always AZIRAPHALE

- sometimes he's like... your old gay uncle, the old gay uncle of the family except it's a 6000 years old gender fluid demon

- HISS LIKE A SNAKE GANG

- got called dear once and them died (figuratively)

Radio Crowley:

- flirty

- "Humm have you ever seen me in a dress~~??"

- he's like flirting with Aziraphale 24/7

- 0 patience this man is a BOMB

- if Aziraphale ever EVER got slightly flirty with him back he will EXPLODE

- smartest of them all, he's very intelligent

- HISS LIKE A SSSSSNAKE GANG

- he's so in love with Aziraphale and it makes him SO FRUSTRATED

- his Aziraphale is the hardest one to reach, maybe this is why he's so deliberately obvious and direct with him (he's resilient, he will never give up)

- he's like a tsudere teenager collegial except he's a 6000 years old demon with serious issues

- not called dear yet poor soul </3

TV Crowley:

- SILLY

- he's the dumbest of them all, sorry 😭

- red hair

- he's so in love with Aziraphale and everyone notice it's SO OBVIOUS

- he's the most affected by The Bookshop Burning ™ event

- the only one who got to kiss the angel, good for him ig, or sorry, idk

- anxiety bomb he literally (literally) EXPLODE

- strongest soldier bc his Aziraphale is IMPOSSIBLE

- got dumped 2 times more than the others someone pls help him

- the most brave tho

- doesn't hiss a lot :/ free him from this madness let him hiss

- he's like a puppy with giant yellow eyes except it's a 6000 years old snake demon that lies all the time

- protective as hell this man wouldn't let anyone near Aziraphale if possible

- got called dear but at what cost??????????????

Book Aziraphale:

- Anxious all the time, religious trauma except the god is your father and he left you and never talk to you again and the guard angels are your siblings and they want you do be dead

- He's so soft he wants so bad to comfort Crowley but he's really hard to reach

- his Crowley is the most difficult of all of them, he needs to circle him a lot to get in touch

- this man got called names so often I don't think he even cares anymore

- he's very nerdy

- he's the calmest of them all

- really chill

- everyone is so mean to him for no reason

- he has 1 braincell tbh and it's really bad bc his Crowley is not that brilliant too they're both stupid sometimes

- he really REALLY wants to be with Crowley and Crowley only, he sounds almost obligated to be with heaven

- he is really kind to others even when they don't deserve

- he called Crowley dear once and then implode

Radio Aziraphale:

- full of himself

- bastard

- the most closed and oblivious of them all

- he tries to play cool with Crowley all the time (he's slowly getting insane and someday he will jump on this man)

- he's the most self sufficient one he barely holds on Crowley to anything and they're pretty independent

- Crowley can say shit like "Miss me angel~~??" and he would keep a bored face and not react at all (he screamed with the walls 4 hours later)

- he's also a tsudere collegial but he at least try to look cool and composed in public

- he's the Aziraphale that most believes in heaven, he's sure they are good and selfless and the right side

- he's not so brilliant tbh but he got a lot of spirit

- the most active Aziraphale ?? He really put his hand in the dirt and do the things alone

- the most angry and bad tempered of them all, bro scream "WE ARE CLOSED LOOK AT THE DAMN SIGN" when ppl barely touch the bookshop door

- he has a lot of patience with Crowley, not deserved tbh bc he thinks it's his personal job to get in Aziraphale's nerves

- overall he is polite

- he's really proud of their "arrangement" there not only one chance he let go without saying that

- he likes to provoke Crowley sometimes too but not as much as the other way around

- if he ever call Crowley dear he will explode

TV Aziraphale:

- bitchiest

- this man need to be sedated what the fuck Aziraphale

- most nuts of then all he's CRAZY

- he's the most up to do shit with Crowley they're insane together

- he doesn't let Crowley rest he is flirting and being cute and hitting on Crowley all the time

- he's so obviously in love with Crowley its embarrassing

- he's the fruitiest he's the entire salad

- the most... indulgent, if I can say, of them all

- more like an employer of heaven, different of book Aziraphale

- he's the only one with almost white hair

- he got kissed but at what cost

- he's the most intelligent of all of them how can he be this dumb

- he loves little things about earth and humans and life and he seems to be the Aziraphale that most love EARTH itself, like, the life, the humans, the food, the little pleasures we have, the little time of happiness we have between all the shit that is happening... he really loves humans <3

- he's conflicted about heaven, he seems to know that there's something WRONG with how heaven works but still doesn't understand what exactly it is

- "oh but saving me makes him soooo happyyyy~~~"

- overall kind and sweet, in a excited way

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziracrow #crowley #Aziraphale #radio omens #good omens radio #good omens book #thats my opinion #more like some thoughts i have been collecting since im hearing radio omens #not really accurate #does this count as character study????#lol I think not #maybe i have a preference for radio Aziraphale i wrote so much more about him and ended up erasing it all bc it made me look insane #shit its 2 am I'm so sleepy

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primrosebow · 3 months

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An open letter to bigfatbimbo.🪽

Reasons why you should write for Adam.

1 -> He is a misogynist (not for long)

Look at his face. He is so weird. I swear. He has been favoritized for far too long, leaving him with the most mind-numbing god complex. Don't you want to stab him to death like niffty? Don't you want to put him where he deserves to be (either underground or under me)? I do. You should too! Because his way of thinking meets it's end where my heels begin.

2 -> He is stupid

He has the emotional maturity of a boiled lobster. He fits into heaven like an orca in the amazon river. He is so unbelievably incompetent it is actually kind of mind boggling. Don't you want to crush him like he's a little bug (either with your fists or your thighs)? Didn't he literally say one of the "biggest issues evet" was math or something? He probably couldn't tell you where Africa is in the world map even if you paid him. Even the fruit of knowledge couldn't give him enough braincells to function as a proper member of society.

3 -> he deserves humiliation

He deserves to have his entire worldview rocked and destroyed, something we can surely provide. His shallow thinking should be promptly obliterated. He has only ever gotten away from beautiful tall strong women because he always had the option of just asking for a different woman. They didn't have the mental fortitude to put him in his place. We are the bearers of the curse (liking repulsive men), and, since there is no "mental fortitude" to begin with, there is nothing for him to break down. We (as a collective) should end him.

4 -> I know what he is

His entire persona is a gigantic act to make up for the fact he cannot appropriatelly cope with losing in general, much less losing the, like, 2 wives he ever had (to THE SAME GUY!! MIND YOU!!!) and if he had more people they were one night stands. Not because he left them, but because people know he is worthless scum and he is good for nothing other than his "original dick" ( eugh. I usually refrain from cursing >:// ). It is the reason for his pride and also the only thing that makes him even remotely worth the hastle of talking to. He is the equivalent of a carnival prize to the people in heaven, scoring him is more of a show of your own endurance rather than how coveted he is. He has been objectified through his own hubris. He should be made aware of that. He should fear the knowledge we posses. It should be used against him.

5 -> he sounds.. like.. . He sounds good.

I watched the series while skipping most of the songs but I genuinelly could not do it when he was singing. No wonder he's in a band or something, I didn't actually pay attention to what he was saying I was paying more attention to the sound of his voice so I don't remember clearly what's up with that. Like he sounds REALLY good. If only he knew how to just use his voice without saying the most repulsive atrocities to be ever uttered by anyone ever. Oh yeah! We can make him incoherent enough for that to happen.

6 -> Lute deserves better

Lute deserves, like, a woman. Not him. She's too gorgeous for him, and, the difference between us and her is that while SHE is dealing with HIM, in our case, HE has to deal with US. Really, we're just saving a beautiful, amazing, stunning, showstopping woman a lot of trouble, and getting an ENTIRE PATHETIC MAN AS A TRADE! WIN WIN! Literally no downsides, I swear.

7 -> he is girl dinner

Don't you just love looking into your fridge and seeing the worthless scraps that built up overtime but somehow taste better now than they usually would have, which is particularly shocking considering it has 0 nutritional value? That would be what girl dinner is, and also an appropriate analogy for what Adam is like! Just roughly ok looking enough for you to not downright call it a biohazard. You will go to bed satisfied after fighting tooth and nail for your dinner (getting him to behave properly) and, it'll be easier the next times maybe! Operant conditioning is a heavy hitter with this repulsive individual, so it might actually get easier! Who knows!

8 -> Pretty please? (´｡･д人)ﾞ

I really. Uh . I really want him if you couldn't tell? Maybe the cannibalism and the fear I want to instill into him got in the way of you seeing my point, but, like, that's just how I love. The highest honor I could bestow on him is wanting to eat him, so, maybe that'll assist in your judgement? I also just really like your writing and would love to hear your thoughts on his idiotic self. AND! AND! Other people also want you to write about him if I well remember the 1 ask you received about him!

I await your response when you are available @bigfatbimbo

If you need more convincing; I can, like, draw him? I'm going to draw him no matter what but like I can cook something up for you in particular who knows.

You did say you were already considering writing for him, so, maybe this can be a final push in that direction for you!

- sincerely, Bow

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam x reader #he is the worst #I want him reaaalll bad #if anyone also sees this letter and is convinced by my arguments #I absolutely insist that you @ me in whatever you chose to make #I would be honored

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jellybeanium124 · 8 months

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shoutout to izzy's completely vacant stare. how come nobody talks about this but me. the man has few skills and one of them is looking like the human embodiment of the dvd screensaver a bit under 300 years before it's invented. head empty 0 thoughts man. stupid ass hollow coconut under that slicked back hair. his empty eyes. why is he so good at staring like he's a fuckin corpse.

dude has half a dead braincell and it shows. real dead rat living in the basement vibes.

#ofmd #our flag means death #I am once again izzyposting in the ofmd tag

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kalak · 11 months

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Love luke skywalker winging everything <33 this man has never had a plan in his life. Getting off tatooine because an old man in the desert said so? Yeah find a weed dealer and lets go save a princess :)) He don't give a fuck about flight simulators or prior experience he's gonna hop in an x-wing for the first time he'll be fiiiine he's shot womp rats before :) yeah his friends are in danger? he's just gonna barrel into that danger without backup nor firepower just him and his lightsaber oh boy what the fuck vader is his father??? Just jump no plan just JUMP into the void :) March into jabba's palace and ask him to surrender and then just pull shit out of your ass it'll work out :3 oh no vader and palpatine want him? Go alone into the death star 2 (that his friends are working to blow up) and he'll somehow talk his way out of it :)) or die trying :) truly a guy with 100% bravery 100% winging it and 0% braincells

#star wars #luke skywalker #my ramblings

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lightningqueen11 · 2 months

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You know, as someone who adores the Four swords adventures manga, I'm always confused by Green's characterization. Vio, Blue, and Red are obvious. Brains, brawn, and heart respectively. But Green? He's just a tad to vague for me. His main thing in the manga is some form of classic heroism, which doesn't really feel like a character trait iykwim? It always just kinda feels like he's supposed to be Link™ but that kinda defeats the purpose. So! I'm going to be rambling about a couple Green concepts that I think give him a bit more spice.

Aggressively average Green. Exactly what it sounds like, he is so horribly, terribly average at everything. Take his dubious characterization and dial it up to 11. Massive potential for an identity crisis, and easy to paste into the manga. His heroism is sorta the only thing he clings to, after all, if he's not the hero, who is he?

Mans fucking tired Green. This dude has been trying desperately to wrangle 3 would-be heroes into some state of cohesion, because he's the actual braincell. Sure, Vio has a lot of facts, but he has no common sense. Green is just trying to make sure his brothers(?) don't die. If it were up to Green, they would all be sitting at home with some hot cocoa and a kitty.

Go with the flow Green. Drawing particularly from the four elements that forged the four sword, we're leaning into the idea of the air element. Green's got absolutely 0 braincells this time, he's moving on vibes. Oh, we're four people now? Sounds good to me. I'm in the middle of the desert? Sure, why not. Vio's being gay with the enemy? Good for him. This is arguably harder to implement in the canon, but we can just say at the time he was just doing what felt most in line with the goal of "be a hero, save Zelda"

Ew Vio Green. Leaning more into their rivalry that was pretty awesome, we're making Green as opposite Vio as possible. While Vio is all "the ends justify the means" Green thinks you can't break the rules even for a good cause. While Vio is very into book learning, Green is very experience oriented. While Vio is an introvert, Green is an Extrovert. You get what I mean? Relying on Vio's incredible characterization to help bolster Green's.

Add more green character types in reblogs or comments pls! I really wanna see it, or heck, if you have complaints about another FSA manga character I'd also love to hear your changes!

#legend of zelda #loz #link #green link #four swords manga #four swords #characterization #can we call him grink?#y'know #green link? grink?#i'm a genius

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majimasleftasscheek · 1 year

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Hi, im very sorry if this has already been answered or established somewhere else but im curious, with your Kazumaji stuff, around what time did they start dating (i.e. after the events of Yakuza 0 and all that) and how?

tbh, I dunno!

I don't really have an established date for that cuz sometimes I'm like man they'd be really cute during y0 and then other times I set it between post y0 and the beginning of y1. The latest they would start me thinks is some months after the events of y1 but in general it sorta depends on how I'm feeling and what silly scenarios play in my head

ideas under the cut tho 👀

if we're talking y0: I like to think Kiryu has to go to Sotenbori for some reason, be it business or he's there with Nishiki for some partying. he sees Majima at the Grand being depressed and is like "damn girl those bags under your eyes makes my dick go *boing sound effect*" and asks him out 🥺 Kiryu gets rejected immediately cuz Majima's in this cycle of 'I deserve nothing but pain and suffering' but Kiryu can't read the room so he is persistently showing up at the Grand despite Majima very obviously wanting to kick his ass. eventually he relents and goes on cute™ dates with Kiryu and realizes oof maybe human intimacy be kinda gucci

if between y0 and y1: Majima's fresh in his mad dog era starting shit with people just to be annoying and Kiryu's one of his targets mainly due to the events of y0. he's kinda like "lol this goober really did some important plot stuff, huh?" and his curiosity gets the better of him because Kiryu is an enigma who eats bugs and Majima cannot suppress his need to get some sense of understanding on this weirdo. in this timeline, it's more one-sided affection from Majima that comes in the form of stabbing while Kiryu is desperately trying to fight the gay allegations and failing. eventually he caves but it's a sorta unofficial, on and off thing that Kiryu doesn't really know how to evaluate for himself. Majima doesn't really care what they are since he's high on life atm and has a cute dude with big boobs on his arm

if during y1: literally just everything Majima Everywhere. Goromi. GOROMI 😩💦 Kiryu is all: I LIKE PUSSY but everyone's like okay big man then why's Majima pole dancing for you huh. the two braincells he has start to click and he realizes maybe Majima wants to hold hands or something unthinkable like that. ngl I like to think Kiryu's thing for Yumi is like a demisexual bi thing where he's like, I do love her but she don't zap my brain quite like the bowlcut freak who knows how to punch me real good and it becomes sorta his personal introspective journey during this time. Majima is also floating in the space of am I doing this for his benefit cuz "training" or am I falling for this dork. he's pretty sad about it cuz of the Saejima reminder vibes but eventually Kiryu falls into his own person that Majima really meshes with and the two of them struggle to actually voice how they feel all the while their pants are down in some dirty alley

if after y1: (going to insert shit from a fic I'm working on) Kiryu's absolutely devastated with what happened in the Millennium Tower + now having to take care of Haruka that he's shut himself off from everyone and everything other than doing the bare minimum to live. in comes Majima being a menace like yo you can't like, let a child parent herself you gotta get outta this slump and Kiryu's all fuck you stop breaking into my house. so it's a long pain in the ass process to help Kiryu deal with his grief while Majima keeps unintentionally making googoo eyes at him and both of them are like boy I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything within me. there's also a lotta dadjima stuff going on and Kiryu's like wowie zowie so you do have a heart and Majima's like no way loser while being just 😳👉👈

#apologies for the way I write sometimes I like to put out total garble because it makes my heart go thumpa thump #god I love them I LOVE THEM #THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER ON A LEVEL BEYOND THAT OF FLESH AND BLOOD AND IT HURTS KNOWING THEY DO #THAT THEY BOTH SUFFER AND THEY FEEL THAT IT'S BEST TO BE ALONE RATHER THAN BRING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE RIDE #BUT THAT RIDE BRINGS THEM BOTH TO THE SAME DESTINATION THAT THEY ARE BOTH BROKEN MEN HAUNTED BY THINGS THEY DID—THINGS THEY COULD HAVE DONE #BUT MAYBE THERE'S HOPE IN HAVING SOMEONE TO LIVE FOR—SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE STRUGGLE OF REDEMPTION DESPITE ONE'S NATURE #TO LIFT EACH OTHER FROM THE DEPTHS OF SELF LOATHING BECAUSE THEY CAN DO BETTER #then I'm tranquilized and shoved back into my cage for relocation #kazumaji #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #my hcs

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popponn · 8 months

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hair and lovers. [aryu jyubei x f!reader]

notes: this is intended to be read with 0 braincell on kind of crack fic. nonetheless, i tried to make them disgustingly sweet. the only thing that ever came close to mortal danger is aryu's hair.

“I love you, but I’m sick of this,” you said, grimness lacing both your face and tone. A pair of grass scissors rest in your hand like a murder weapon-to-be.

Aryu Jyubei—who had been and shall be forever called Aryu so the bitch wouldn’t pull a hissy fit—your boyfriend, your roommate, and unfortunately probably your soulmate for life too, stared at you in horror. “My beloved?! What—”

You didn’t let him finish. “Shut up. Or I will kill you.”

Dramatically, in return, Aryu gasped, “Was it Itoshi Rin?!”

At that, somehow, your temper immediately went down. You blinked owlishly, confused at what did that statement mean and how it came to be. You gaped, “What? Huh? How come?”

In front of you, Aryu—still in pigtails, eye cover still on his forehead all while wearing the bright ‘#1 OSHA!!!!!’ magenta custom pajama Bachira Meguru once gave him as a birthday gift—dropped his ass to the ground and waxed a poetry about style, Itoshi Rin, betrayal, also something akin to hoes before bros. With the last part, whatever desire you had to listen to him immediately evaporate to the thin air.

“Forget it,” you began. “I will really end you.”

Aryu turned his face to you, flipping his hair like some shampoo brand ambassador in the process. Dramatically, again, he proclaimed, “My darling! What has come into you?!”

“Your hair and our ruined date photo that’s what,” you replied, approaching him in a casual and lax manner—that actually translated into a walk that was as menacing as Barou Shouhei when he entered the field in Aryu’s point of view.

At your answer, your boyfriend’s eyes widened. A flash of memories flooded his mind—your sour face after every outdoor date in the last three months, your bitter smile every time you stare into the photo album. Stylishly, he understood everything. The scissors in your hand was without a doubt a weapon to part him with his hair.

“Beloved!” Aryu shouted at you, both of his hands raising up as if it could stop you. Within his hearts, he steeled himself shall it came to no choice and he should use his athletic capabilities to defend his hair—

“Oh, it seems you get it!” you stopped at your tracks, three steps away from him. You smiled sweetly, as you continued, “Then, let’s get to the point. Either I cut it or we can just break up.”

Aryu didn’t steel himself for that.

“What?!” he exclaimed. Immediately, Aryu stood back to his full height. You, who had been living under the same roof with him for quite a while, didn’t flinch even for a second. But, then again, it was you who had a sharp tool in hand.

“What do you mean what,” you deadpanned, every trace of smile vanishing away from your face. A small part of Aryu’s heart shed a tear at such loss—however, it shall be a story for another time.

“My stylish hair is part of this stylish me!” Aryu cried out as his hands clasped itself on your shoulder. He brought his face closer to you, begging, “How could you even thought of such thing?!”

Almost instantly, your face turned into an expression that was both adorable and painful for Aryu’s heart—your eyes sparkled as tears welled up in them and your lips grew into a quivering line. “I want a nice photo with you!” you cried back at him, your gaze thrown away from his. “And I’m your girlfriend! Is that so much to ask for?!”

A part of Aryu wilted at your question. To think he had become a man who made such thoughts exist within you. “Oh, my Dear…” he trailed off.

You ignored Aryu, expressing everything you had withheld within your heart for months. “I know you like your hair—but, it keeps hitting me! Sometimes it get in my mouth! Also, aren’t you a footballer?! It isn’t normal to have hair that long! And also, you spent so much time—”

“My beloved,” Aryu cut you off. Smoothly, his hands grasped both of yours as he dropped down to the floor, this time propping himself up with one knee. Gently, he took away the big scissors in your hand and put it as far as his hands would allow.

Feeling the tender stroke on the back of your palm, you finally let yourself meet his eyes again. Aryu looked at you with a determination as he once again opened his mouth, “Forgive me for making you feel in such unstylish way. However, I cannot let you, who I love, part this stylish me away from my stylish strands.”

At those words, you looked like you were about to cry. Without wasting a beat, Aryu continued quickly, unwilling to let even a drop of tear away from your eyes, “That’s why—let me propose to you a deal.”

You blinked at that, confused. Aryu silently cooed at that action, but nonetheless he had an important thing to do. Aryu slowly grabbed a part of his long hair and put it in your hand, entrapping them in between your fingers and his and Aryu knew he had made the right call.

“My beloved, from this day onwards,” he began, eyes never leaving yours. “Would you do me the honor of styling my hair to your heart contents, for every day, every time I will walk away from this house, whether it will be with your hand in mine or not?”

As Aryu finished his proposal, never once did the confusion leave your face. From the outside, as the daylight seeps from the window, Aryu could hear three series of chirping before suddenly the sound of your laugh broke out.

“Seriously?!” you tried to say in between your chortle. Aryu tried not to melt at the sight. It was both stylish and beautiful. Then, as you looked down at him and tightened your fingers around Aryu’s hair and fingers, you smiled—this time brightly and stylishly, “Sure, why not?”

Indeed, Aryu was a very happy man who did not made any wrong choice at that time.

#bllk #bllk imagines #blue lock #blue lock fluff #bllk x reader #bluelock x reader #blue lock scenarios #blue lock x reader #aryu jyubei #aryu x reader #bllk aryu #blue lock aryu #blue lock imagines #bllk fluff #I POSTED THIS ON THE WRONG BLOG #but here it is anyway here u go 5 aryu stans and my friend #also why dog ate my phone #real no fake

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hermit-searching · 7 days

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Terrible Casey Jones HCs (from a hockey fan):

87 Casey:

-it actually makes sense this guy wears the old style hockey mask since the fiberglass helmets with face cages were only starting to become popular in the 80s. Friday the 13th also came out in the 80s so he totally uses the face hugger mask for those reasons.

-he literally only met the turtles twice so I think it'd be funny if he just. forgot they existed. like "who are you small weird cosplaying kids"

-he'd probably be loyal to the Rangers because the Islanders play too close to Jersey. no he isn't bitter the Islanders were better, shut up!

-mans built like a football player, he wouldn't play. he just has the equipment to be a menace.

03 Casey:

- both him and Raph are devastated during the 04-05 lockout. it's the hardest battle they've ever fought.

-Leo: what about all the times we fought the Shredder and almost died?

Raph and Casey: the lockout was harder.

-that man shares his entire half of a braincell with Raphael /affectionate

-he would pound his fist into the table seeing the Devil's go to the Finals in 2000, 01 and 03.

-he probably genuinely forgot Anaheim is owned by Disney.

-he WILL complain during off-season. There are 0 worthy sports to watch from June to October.

12 Casey:

-oh you thought he was a Rangers fan? Maybe the Islanders? Buffalo? nah he's a Bruins fan.

-despite being afraid of rats his favourite player is Marchand.

-he ABSOLUTELY got into Reddit arguments with Vancouver fans in 2011.

-probably the only Casey that has actually played hockey. bro has the missing front teeth drip

-he wanted to be goalie so bad but the second he stepped out wearing the face hugger they said no and made him a winger.

-he lost his front teeth because he doesn't wear a cage.

-he not only forgot Anaheim was owned by Disney, he forgot they existed. he only remembered because they won the Cup in 07.

Casey Jr:

-i like the concept he learns to play hockey after the Invasion but I think he'd get ragdolled around by the people his age. yeah he can kill a Krang with one hand. but he's so stringy and spindly that he'd get knocked over by accident while on skates

-Casey Sr teaches him how to skate, but the first time he tries he immediately faceplants because he never learned what ice is.

-none of the Rise characters have hockey fan vibes. like, they all like basketball (even if Donnie pretends not to know anything about it) Raph likes wrestling and football. Leo would have a shrine dedicated to Michael Jordan, and that's about it. Mikey probably would watch anything his brothers put on. hockey is still very much a white person's sport, we don't have many POC players in the League so it doesn't appeal as much to POC as other sports like basketball, football, or baseball which are more diverse. All this to say Casey wouldn't know there's a pro-league until he stumbles upon it on TV one night.

-he's probably not into it the way the other Casey's are but he'll casually watch a game if there's one on.

-I don't see Casey having many interests for a while post-invasion because his entire life was basically surviving the apocalypse. He'll learn to appreciate the small things gradually.

-he would probably pick up on Leo's....appreciation...for Michael Jordan though lol

#theotxt #tmnt 2012 #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 03 #casey jones #local hockey man makes too many headcanons about Casey Jones and hockey #im watching the Toronto Boston game rn. its Brutal #brad marchand is a rat (derrogatory)#03 Casey: hey April check out my new shirt #*i survived the NHL lockout of 2004-2005*#April: you're sleeping on thr couch tonight

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finniestoncrane · 1 year

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Appointment

Arkham!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 2k commission: thank you to @0-rosestorm-0 for requesting this one from the giveaway commissions 💚 i love the secretary fantasy so much commission me here! request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: fingering, kinda exhibitionism and risky stuff

“Back again, Mister Nigma?”

Edward scowled at you across your desk, slumping down into the sofa against the wall across from you with a sigh.

“I really should be treated better than this. You’re all aware of who I am.”

“Very, unfortunately. But you have to wait like everyone else. Mister Cobblepot has other business to attend to.”

The standard Riddler attitude had managed to shake three of your predecessors from their job as Oswald’s secretary, but you found that you enjoyed his company. He was ridiculous, almost unbelievable, and he made a nice change from the comparatively humdrum criminals that usually sat in your waiting room. For one thing, he was able to hold an intelligent conversation, something you didn’t get to participate in a lot with Oswald’s usual clientele and business connections.

A shrill tone rang out, and you jumped, startled as though you had been caught thinking those flattering thoughts about the dishevelled man sitting across from you. It was just the phone on your desk though, and picking it up, you addressed the man on the other line.

“Mister Cobblepot, sir?”

Before you could process his movements, Edward had leapt from the seat, slamming his finger down quickly on the speaker button.

“I’m gonna be a few minutes longer, love. Tell that riddling prick he’ll have to wait a bit for me. Give him a cuppa, not the good stuff mind.”

“Y-yes, Mister Cobblepot.”

You placed the phone down on the receiver, quickly snapping your attention to Edward.

“That was very rude, Mister Nigma.”

“But very necessary. So how long will he be?”

“You heard as much as I did.”

“I don’t appreciate your tone, but fair point.” Edward thumbed through a few of the magazines that sat on the coffee table. “Do you have any reading material here that isn’t laden with opinion pieces from idiots with three braincells or copious amounts of swimsuit reviews?”

“We don’t really have a call for anything but that.”

He sighed, laying on his back across the sofa with his feet, dirt-clad boots worn on them, on the arm, dirtying the lilac crushed velvet.

“Put your feet down!”

“Make me.”

Tossing your head back, distraught that it was down to you to take on babysitting duties, you tried to think of something to distract him with.

“A riddle!”

“What?”

He turned to you with a confused look, finding you typing furiously at the computer as you frantically searched for something to tease him with, something that might stump him.

“Ok, Mister Nigma. I’ve got some riddles for you.”

“Really?”

“Yep! What gets wetter as it dries?”

His disappointed face met your gaze as you looked up from the screen.

“Really? You thought those meagre, toddler level conundrums were going to entertain me?”

“Ok, what about this one… I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with wind. What am I?”

“An echo. Next.”

“Yeah, these are pathetically easy, huh? I knew that one straight away.”

“Really?”

He raised an eyebrow, scoffing at the notion you might be intelligent enough to have figured the riddle out slightly quicker than he did.

“Let’s test that intelligence of yours then.”

Edward rattled off several riddles in quick succession, irritated at first when you were quick to solve them, threatening to have one of his short temper tantrums in the waiting room. But soon enough, he was marvelling at your intellect, taken by surprise at how easily you could almost match him. An impressive specimen, in more ways than one. He walked slowly over to the desk, perching himself on the edge awkwardly, leaning into you. “You’ll have to try a lot harder than that to match my wit and intelligence.”

You watched him, his gaze drifting over your body, lowering to the top of your blouse. He seemed completely incapable of being nonchalant about it. The leer was sleazy, but likely due to lack of practice, or the fact he was so unfamiliar with women. He was never usually this close to you, you wondered if he was ever this close to anyone on a regular basis. At the very least, he was finally distracted, and you found the attention oddly flattering. Most of the men who came through weren’t interested in you. The sexy secretary myth hadn’t reached them yet. You were part of the furniture. It was nice to be appreciated, even in these circumstances. And you enjoyed Edward’s company, finding him oddly endearing, and strangely handsome.

So you gave him a little more to look at, pressing your arms together, cleavage more visible as you let your fingers slip down the front of your shirt, drawing his gaze down as you surreptitiously undid a button. His mouth was open ever so slightly, breathing louder as he stared. With one finger under his chin, you lifted his eyes to meet yours. As you opened your mouth to speak, something teasing and flirtatious, he interrupted you.

“There’s a riddle I’m struggling with, actually.”

“Oh?”

“Why would someone like you…” his eyes fell again, taking you in, before he strained to bring them back up “… be working for someone like him, when you could be working for me?”

“Mister Nigma, do you really think we’d get much work done?”

“I suppose not.”

Giggling at his smirk, you tried to hide your blush. There wasn’t much use though, as you face flushed with the same heat that burned through your stomach and under your flesh, prickling at your burning arousal. This kind of teasing, the half-lidded stares and soft hums of laughter, was your weakness, and Edward Nigma exploited that expertly each time you were in his presence.

He placed his hand on your cheek, taking you by complete surprise as the playful back and forth became far more physical than you intended. You were pulled into a kiss, deep and intense, a surprisingly bold move from someone you had previously thought was either not inclined that way, or was too insecure to be faced with rejection from such a proposition.

Leaning into him, your lips clinging to his, you parted your lips, moaning as you wrapped your arms around his neck. With your fingertips brushing through his greasy hair, you tensed, tugging at them. In response, Edward made a soft groaning hum of approval. Taking his mouth from yours, he kissed down your neck, his hands finding your upper arms as he lifted you from your chair. Standing in front of him, he let his fingers drift to the hem of your skirt, lifting it up slowly as you breathed into his ear.

Falling backwards to the wall behind you, Edward crawled over the desk to join you. Pinning you to it, he shifted your shirt up, running his rough hands against your stomach, cupping under your breasts before sliding underneath your bra. Teasing at the nipple, rolling it between his calloused fingertips, saliva dripping from his lips over your skin. His free hand drifted down your abdomen, lifting up the front of your skirt.

Sinking lower, his hands rubbed the front of your panties, fingers spreading your lips apart through the fabric, soaked in your arousal. He dipped his thumb under the band, teasing them down, uncovering you before he pressed two fingers to your clit. Wet with your slick, he brought them to his mouth, sucking your taste from them before he pressed them back between your legs, stroking in small circles. His mouth on your shoulder still kissed, interspersed with gentle biting as he kept pulling at your nipple, gripping your breast, before moving his arm round your back to hold you close to him.

Just as you adjusted yourself to the sudden bout of passion that had overcome Edward, driving him to ravage you in the very public waiting room, with Oswald just beyond the door, you were shocked once more. Edward’s fingers slid inside you, deft in their movements as he spread them apart, stretching you as he pushed two of them deeper.

As you moaned, tugging at his shirt to bring him closer to you. With two fingers inside of you, he let his thumb find your clit, stroking over it, putting the exact right amount of pressure to the nub as he flitted over it, back and forth.

“Ed… Edward…”

It was over the minute you muttered his name, so quiet, but loud enough that he noticed.

“In your place of work? You’re delightfully filthy, I must admit. But I’d prefer we keep this formal.”

Confused by his words, you opened your eyes, catching his intense gaze.

“Mister Nigma, if you please.”

With a coy smile, you stroked his cheek, kissing his lips softly before you through your head back against the wall.

“Oh, Mister Nigma.”

“Indeed.”

Diving into your neck he bit the sensitive skin, licking at it, kissing it fervently, your skin soaked in his saliva as he devoured you. You could feel yourself, wet with your slick, his fingers covered in it as he thrust them between your legs.

Nothing mattered anymore, the risk, the exhibitionism. It was adding to the already monumental pleasure. You were dedicated to going through with this, whatever he wanted, and there was very little you imagined might be able to stop you.

The sudden ringing of the phone on your desk made you jump, a squeal emanating from your open mouth that made Edward giggle. He removed the hand that gripped your waist and picked up the handset, passing it to you with a self-satisfied grin.

“I can’t… you can’t… not when you’re doing…”

He shook the phone at you, smiling wide, wider when you took it from him.

“M-mister Cobblepot?”

Edward stifled a laugh as you mumbled over the words, slowly pressing his fingers against your insides as you tried to speak.

“Yes-sss, Suh-huh-ir.”

You held your hand over the receiver, panting as you spoke. Looking into Edward’s eyes, trying to ask him silently not to make this any more difficult. And he understood your request, but he had no intentions of doing anything to make this easier. He wanted to see you squirm.

“Mister Cobblepot’s ready to see you now, Mister Nigma… are you… ready to go in?”

Eddie smiled, his lips curling into a mischievous grin as he let his fingers trail over your body.

“I’m a bit busy here. We’re going to be a few minutes longer, love. Tell him to make his own tea and take a seat for a bit.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you uncovered the phone and tried to speak. Edward’s hands covered you, gripping at your ass and thighs, nipping at your skin as he tried, and succeeded in making you squeal as you spoke.

“Uh… Mister ah Cobblepot! Mister Nigma is hm uh, he’s… uh… occu-ah-pied.”

A few more mumbled words, almost gaining your composure as you tried to come up with an excuse, attempting to focus on what Oswald was saying. But your mouth formed little more than whines as Edward fell to his knees in front of you, pressing his face to your thighs before kissing up your thigh, higher and higher as your voice trembled. And as Edward slipped his tongue between your legs, you let the phone drop from your hand, clattering on the desk. Taking a quick glance at it when you could pry your attention away from how he looked with his nose buried in your cunt, you wondered if Oswald was going to come out of his office to see what happened, or to chastise you. You found that you really didn’t care if he did. In fact, secretly, you hoped that he might come out and see you, clenching around Edward Nigma’s fingers as you tugged at his hair. If he fired you, you could take up Edward’s offer. The idea of doing this every day was enticing, more than enough to make up for the lack of compensation.

#finnie writes #arkham riddler #arkham edward nigma #riddler x reader #arkhamverse riddler #the riddler #arkhamverse #riddler #the riddler imagine #riddler smut #the riddler fanfic #riddler fanfic #riddler x you #edward nigma x reader #edward nigma #arkham!riddler #the riddler fanfiction #arkham!verse

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twstwonderlandstuff · 2 years

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Hey, I was wondering if you can do a request. It's a headcanon reaction to Silver, Sebek, Jade, and Jack finding out about female mc/yuu/yn who does competitive weightlifting, and the struggles that females in that sports field go through. Such as finding a trainer who is willing to train females, getting harassed by the trainer or others working out, males in the gym not letting you use equipment because you're female, toxic masculinity in gyms, getting rejected because they don't think you're feminine enough, or getting weird looks and getting put down because "females aren't supposed to work on their muscles or try to be stronger". I've been feeling a bit down precisely because of these struggles, especially the last one. I would like it if mc is already their girlfriend, and just felt self-cautious about telling them. Thanks for reading this 💖.

FUCK WHOEVER SAlD THE LAST BIT IM SURE YOU'RE AN INCREDIBLE PERSON MUAH MUAH <3

i don't rlly deal with this stuff myself, so i can't relate, but im sure its horrible and hopefully, this piece will make you feel better ^^

female reader

tw: body image issues, harassment

requests are closed!

silver

he's on board. enthusiastic to help you train. it's a win-win! you help him fight off sleep and he helps you train.

when he finds out about your troubles, this genuine lad, he offers to take you to lilia: seeing that his pops is a grand general and a man with morals, he's sure lilia wouldn't mind helping you train.

he is quick to shut the harassers down with a firm talking, and if they continue shit-talking... well, you and him make a pretty fearsome duo, don't you think?

silver, being quite air-headed, gives 0 shits on what people say in the gym, so if someone comes talking to you with that 'oh women should stay at home' nonsense, he's quick to direct your attention elsewhere.

sebek zigvolt

them gym mfs better be ready for the ear-splitting beatdown of their lives because sebek WILL DEFEND YOUR HONOR! You are a respectable weight lifter and he will NOT! HEAR! ANOTHER WORD! OF THEIR TOMFOOLERY!

bro, with sebek you won't even be worried NAH he would date you he would be completely in love, head over heels, but he just doesn't know how to say it.

man's would help you in your workout regime: wake you up at like, 5 and encourage you to work out with him.

I'd like to think he is semi aware of how he's preceived, so with that in mind, he uses it to distract you from the nosy-people that might butt heads with you in the gym

overall, a good buddy and partner to be with ^^

jade leech

you're with THE jade leech... what kinda dumbass would dare bother y'all now? okay maybe idiots with no braincells, but yk 🤷‍♀️🥴

boo~ you won't get a single strange look if you're near jade. I am completely certain that man has at least drugged somebody, so if some dumbass still has the gall to call you names? ya bue-bye that person's dead

while he isn't as buff/ into sports as the rest of the boys in question, he'll use his connections to get you a trainer that is of upmost prime condition. he won't let you settle for less.

jack howl

jack will have a heart-to-heart with you about how you feel. he's a good soul, so he definetely have words to cheer you right up. he admires loads of people in the sports industry, so he defo knows what's up

like sebek, he'll train with you, just with lil bit more softness, cuz our boys a good ol' softy. wouldn't want you getting more stressed, ya know?

he won't get the 'getting rejected' bit. excuse me? if anything, that just makes a person all the more appealing as a partner. w- what- no, that isn't his tail wagging?!!?!??! you're seeing things?!?!?

A GOOD BOY OVERALL 10/10

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #twst silver #sebek zigvolt #jade leech #jack howl #twst silver x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #jade leech x reader #jack howl x reader #sugar rush #female reader #fem! reader #fem reader #I hope your day gets a lil better ! ^^

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