#maybe it's the ADHD burnout

[thebibliosphere]

"Hi, I bought your book and read it in two hours!" remains one of the most flattering and terrifying messages you can send me.

Who are you people? What old god did you sell your soul to that you can read that fast? That's 500 pages! I mean, good job, but holy shit.

#I haven't been able to read like that since I was a teenager #maybe it's the ADHD burnout #maybe it's the chronic depression #idk #I am envious #i want what they have

[campspawn]

yknow i know a lot of people are upset about cassandra dying which i get. BUT. i can’t fucking wait for kristen’s ‘my deity is dead i’m a cleric and i’ve killed TWO gods in rapid fire succession what am i gonna fucking do’ arc because i think it’s gonna be the best kristen arc yet

#like i don’t think kristen actually believes in doubt is the thing. she’s an apathetic teenager struggling with adhd and burnout and so #mystery and doubt SEEMED awesome at the time but like. she says it herself it’s a hard pill to swallow! she tried to make a new god and it #failed because she’s a fucking teenager. she tried to resurrect an ancient dead god and failed because she’s a fucking teenager. #where does she go from here? frankly i can see kristen going chaotic evil/evil neutral VERY easily #OR maybe switching classes. but i think more likely we’re gonna see kristen god hunting again and she’s either not gonna find one and it’ll #be wild or she’s gonna find an evil one who’s willing to gamble on the god killing cleric #but i could see warlock in kristen’s future. archfey sworn warlock?? cassandra brought up that she had offers from the fey and afair the fey #haven’t come up much in fantasy high. it’s been very demon and diety focused devotion and magic #but idk i think we could see it! #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fhjy #fhjy spoilers

[queenofcarrotflowers-s]

I'm really struggling with my library job these days, and it makes me so sad. like, this was my literal dream job, at a library system I dreamed about working at since I was in high school, really. but I feel completely burnt out, depressed, and miserable here. I come home from work everyday and I'm too tired to do any of my actual hobbies or even my chores so I feel like I just dissociate for a few hours before going to bed and then start all over again the next day.

my library branch deals with a lot of traumatic things, nearly every single week. frequent drug overdoses, angry people screaming at us, fighting. one of my coworkers was physically assaulted (punched in the face) by a patron a couple years ago and management handled it rather poorly. I know we do a lot of good for our community and provide important services, but it doesn't alleviate the trauma that we deal with on the daily. and I don't feel like I'm able to fully serve my community in the way I want to when I'm feeling this burnt out and stressed.

my diagnosed-but-still-untreated ADHD/executive dysfunction issues make it difficult to prioritize tasks and get projects done, especially when I feel pulled in 500 different directions by my workplace's (frankly sometimes unreasonable) expectations. they keep piling more and more work on us without any substantial pay raises.

I just don't feel cut out for it anymore, and I don't know if "it" is just this branch, this library system, or being a librarian in general. but if I wasn't a librarian, I just don't know what else I would do. I don't know what I would be good at.

#comments ok but maybe dont reblog please #i dont know if anyone would but still #pardon my rambling #i know the solution is probably just 'you need to quit your job' but without having something else lined up i cant even think about that #public libraries #personal #burnout #actually adhd

[witchothewest]

Ok so in 2023 I learned how to drive, made several breakthroughs in therapy, got on medication that helps my adhd symptoms, learned how to advocate for my needs, finished the first draft of my book, took a class, decorated my house, politely told my employer everything they were doing wrong, quit, and found a new job that seems like it will be a perfect fit for me.

I think my 2024 goal will be to learn how to sew on a button.

#it’s been a YEAR holy fuck #all of that is the culmination of three years worth of work #constant failure #a whole lot of latent issues I didn’t even know I had #and severe burnout that I had to take a 3 month leave to heal from #but anyway I think I should maybe just let it ride in 2024 #personal #adhd #mental health #therapy #goals

[apatheticlexicographer]

MOTHERFUCK i did not realize how much those antidepressants made me feel physically psychologically and dare i say spiritually like a peat mummy

literally 2 days off them and i've experienced more joy, lucidity, motivation and general good vibes than i did in the whole 2 months i was on them 😭😭

#now granted i did only sleep for 3 hours #but i felt more refreshed and energized today than i ever did when the pills forced me into 8 hours of pseudo-death a night #MY INTERNAL MONOLOGUE IS BACK TO NEVER SHUTTING TF UP #it was practically bones for so long oml #i'm usually annoyingly verbose but i was only able to say like 5 words at a time before i forgot how to end my sentence #yeah i'm prolly gonna lose the rose tinted glasses in a few days when the novelty wears off but for now #it's so nice to feel like myself and not like a lobotomized skinwalker trying to wear my own mannerisms convincingly #(obvsly they help some ppl or they wouldn't be an option to prescribe but GOD they fit my brain chemistry as well as a fork fits an outlet) #<<<<<<I CAN DO THAT AGAIN!!! I MISSED MY STUPID METAPHORS AND MY BAD PUNS AND MY SLIGHTLY OUT OF POCKET JOKES #i was fucking trying but it fundamentally doesn't work if u Try #yoda moment but whatever #yippeee #god did they fucking '''cure''' my ADHD instead of my depression #ok if this is what some ppl's experience of ADHD meds is like then the 'they made me feel like a robot' thing makes a LOT more sense #personally they just make me feel like. yk that one comic abt ADHD with the dog metaphor #yeah amphetamines my beloved let me hold the leash rather than becoming a human dogsled to the whims of my psyche #actually i think i was rather uncharitable to my current dream mask normal pills #i just happened to get mega bitch burnout for 3 months and then spend 2 in the aforementioned peat bog where souls go to die #when not impeded by outside circumstances i think they actually are completely fine #maybe not QUITE as agressively effective as my previous prescription but the ritalin was str8 up harsh #i tried it again for a week and it made my heart beat like it was being powered by a caffienated hamster #but when i used to take it i was already experiencing Real paranoid gerbil anxiety so it just kinda blended in #i only noticed the Severe Health Issue i got bundled as a side effect #and i keep having to remind myself not to go rose-tinted abt how bad it rlly was in retrospect #do i just need to leave a sticky note on my mirror like 'hey dumbass that was NOT a net positive period of ur life' #lexi stfu challenge

[paranormeow7]

not finishing this lol. fucking hate ms paint for crashing on me. anyways. idk. great how the only art I have the energy for anymore is shitty ms paint doodles. what happened man

#actual sugar post #sugar art trash #maybe I’m degrading #bc nowadays it feels like the only things I can do are what I’m forced to do to survive #my life is so empty without creativity. but I can’t will myself to create anymore #everything is so monotonous now. I’m jealous of other people with adhd who sacrifice their well being to hyperfixate on art for hours #because all I can do is lay in bed #it’s not like I can feed myself or clean up properly either #all i can do nowadays is a bit of homework and waste away in bed #it gets worse every year. I can do less every year #what happened to me #maybe I’m degrading. I know people who are actively degrading #their doctors tell them they won’t be able to live alone when they grow up #maybe that’s me #ms paint #unfinished art #vent #idk #burnout #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #actually autistic #autism stuff

[anonymousleekao3]

OK, so I have done literally everything I can think of to make myself Do The Thing I Need To Do Today, and yet I am still sitting here at the end of the day staring at The Thing I Need To Do, unable to Do The Thing.

Shouldn't I just be able to Do The Thing? Shouldn't it be that easy? Shouldn't I be able to just flip the on-switch of Do-ness?

It's not even a difficult Thing! It's just mind-numbingly, soul-crushingly tedious!

And I'll probably be at it for another three months before it's finished. 😓

#personal #my text post on main #probably an #adhd problems #post but maybe also #burnout #?

[libraryleopard]

Young adult rom com

Follows two teenage interns spending the summer traveling around Europe initially can't stand each other, but find common ground in their neurodivergence and unexpectedly begin for fall for each other

Autistic main character; main character with ADHD; queer side characters

#this was cute! #it also deals with tilly (female main character w/ adhd) having severe burnout from high school #and generally how it can be rough to navigate the world as a neurodivergent person #the two of them feel like realistic and fleshed-out characters which i liked (it's dual-pov) #i thought the ending was a little fast and maybe a tad too convenient though…? #i think there's supposed to be a sequel following some side characters in a dysfunctional band #which sounds fun #tilly in technicolor #mazey eddings #2023 reads #lulu speaks #lulu reads #lulu reads tilly in technicolor #books

[kaizokuseb]

guys i’m… reading books?? very occasionally over the last decade, i’ve found something interesting enough to read, but this isn’t like that. i just want to read the way i used to when i was young, so i’m just grabbing books off my shelves and reading them. i read the hunger games last night, then today i read a small book of short stories by kris straub and part of a book of hp lovecraft’s short stories that i’ve never even opened. i’m 29 and i’m reading like i’m 16 again. it’s fully crazy

#y’all i’m autistic and adhd with ptsd #i’m a gifted kid burnout and all i read is fanfic #(which is not at all a bad thing but it’s different y’know?) #my therapist thinks it’s because i’ve been focusing on myself and my needs #which i haven’t done in… ever. i’ve never done this. #but suddenly it’s like maybe i don’t need everyone me to be perfectly happy for me to be happy #like maybe it’s time for me to step back from the big brother/substitute father figure and let my siblings handle their own lives #it’s not like i can tell them what to do i’m just stressed constantly worrying about them #like they’re adults #but even as i’m typing this a big part of me still disagrees #so it’s definitely gonna take more time but this is a good sign

[jankwritten]

hm.

#maybe it's time i put some actualy thought into the possibility that i'm autistic #because the more i read about it #the more it becomes very clear that every facet of my mental disorders could. very easily stem from autism in some way shape or form #my anxiety #my social anxiety specifically #my thing about specific noises and foods as sensory related issues #the way that burnout affects me and also the way that I can't verbalise how things are specifically in my brain #a lot of my other attributes like my gender/sexuality also align with more autistic behaviors but that's obviously not a telltale sign #aroace nonbinary people are not all automatically autistic #i always go in circles with myself about this because my brother has an autism diagnosis #or at least he has been tested and been given a 'very likely' kind of answer #but my mom has ADHD #(her dad and her brother are also suspected to be on the spectrum but they've never been tested) #but every time I bring up the possibility of me being autistic with ANYONE outside of my friends it immediatley gets shut down #idk how to feel about it anymore #but me being autistic would explain so much? but also i don't want people to just think that i'm using that label because it's #like 'hip' nowadays or whatever the fuck in online spaces for people to self diagnose autism and shit like that #i'm just really tired of fighting with myself 24/7 about this #so. #it's a label i want to be able to use because it makes SENSE and it explains so much about me? #but i don't know for sure and i don't know if i ever will #tonight's one of those nights man #i am once again oversharing on the internet #the depths of the blog #not pjo #not omgcp #not fandom

[vanibear]

just played SO much kingdom hearts3. like almost 7 straight hours .i mean idk if thats a lot but like its a lot for me i think. Amazing what adderall does for a girl

#soooo I just finished san fransokyo and that means i only have potc left for the Disney worlds!!! #whats the name for time travel riku ?dark riku ?ansemriku? #whatever he is Such a menace and i adore him #i hated arendelle But. the riku elsa parallel #s had me going insane #also VANITAS. he really said I will make the Most dramatic scene and then be thrown through multiple monsters inc doors #also also theory cooking up in my brain maybe corona was where lauriam landed after he got time traveleded from khux #and maybe .i was getting rapunzel and Nami/streli parallel vibes But maybe i think imjust stretching things now #but n e ways OUGH kh3 is so good. i love this game #ESP SORA .hes so more Expressive. Like a cat or a dog to me .do u get what i mean #and his entire arc so far has been adhd burnout moments. Holds him gently in my arms #kh #kingdom hearts #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 #teddy content <3

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

I'm really unwell and I have been for months, it's just these damn stupid antidepressants making me be able to get up and still do things anyway. i hate that our society measures wellness by our ability to get up and do things cus by all capitalist counts i am still being a very reliable worker so surely nothing is wrong

#another long and full day for me today #probably tomorrow i can rest??? maybe??? #sigh #i need a tag for my own rambles #mental illness #actually autistic #burnout #depression #actually adhd #i think maybe these meds are just prolonging my suffering. i think without them i would have lost it several times already #and then people might take my hurt seriously i guess

[writingway-in-writinghell]

i know it is difficult but please, PLEASE...do not feel the pressure to have a job, since you know you most likely cant.

it is totally valid not being able to work, i feel like a lot of us, or society, deems us unworthy too if we are unable to work, or keep a job, whatever it may be, but that is just not the reality for a lot of us, but that doesnt make us any less of human beings. we're still worthy. take care, and i wish you a good start into the new week.

Oh anon, I thank you for the kind words.

If only it were always that easy. 🥲 I’m sure you probably have your own struggles with this, and the wish to support my constantly financially struggling little family is mine. There’s a lot of wishes involved that I can never fulfill if I keep staying at home, and that hurts.

Also… I’m just so BORED, anon. So bored. I am lucky to have a partner that supports me, but by god it is not enough. 💀

I am glad for anyone who can happily pursue their own projects, but dependence and boredom have never been my strong suit, so I’ll have to find whatever is feasible for me. Whatever that may be.

#my adhd meds help… a little but. urgh #my energy levels since the burnout have been abysmal sjdkfkf #executive function is nice though. maybe it’ll give me ideas #sasha answers

[nicxxx5]

i’ve been wanting to say this for a while but if i don’t respond to asks or messages but still post, i’m most likely not ignoring it because i don’t care but because i have so much going on its overwhelming. i have a million thoughts going in and out of my head and so many things to do that i’m trying to get one task done and can’t so i end up making myself more busy. reblogging stuff is an easy distraction/break that doesn’t require a lot of thought but most of the time responding to people requires to much mental energy that just don’t have because i’m so burnt out. i just wanted to post this because i really do love getting messages and asks! i’m just really bad at responding to them efficiently

#for my followers #random #asks #messages #burnout #mentally exhausted #busy #life #autistic burnout #actually autistic #neurodivergent burnout #maybe adhd #executive dysfunction #apologies to my followers #i love getting asks and messages #i just suck at responding to them #just trying to be real with y'all

[arsonist-chicken]

I am once again asking for the tiniest bit of self-discipline to finish stuff on time so I don't start it at 2:15am when it's due at 9am and I'll have class the whole day until 7pm afterwards.

#and then i have to go to the library to finish (start writing) the stupid expose that's. three months overdue. and the final final deadline #is this sunday #so... i guess we're going in for another round of 36+h of not sleeping? #thought i'd left at least that behind. i mean my brain is already lagging now #please i want to cry why can i not do stuff on time for once in my goddamn life #or even just early enough to have it done at 2am and not start it at 2am when i have to get up at 8 😭😭😭😭😭 #there's three of us in that class and the other two i don't know and i'm gonna fall asleep in class 😭 #and then at the library probably too #i hate this i hate it here i hate my brain i hate everyone who cheerfully goes 'but there's upsides to adhd :)' #how nice! i didn't get those! i just got the executive dysfunction slowly leading to depression and exhaustion and possibly burnout! #like man i want to be happy for adhd people who get the high creativity or whatever but i didn't get that either #i'm also not good at improvising or reacting fast in emergency situations like man. where's my positive sides of this bs #okay okay okay. now. opening the window and making some black tea and hoping the caffeeine will work for me not against me #and maybe i'll still catch an hour or two of sleep before class #it's even a good one but god i hate presentations in front of people i don't know #especially if it's only two like where am i supposed to look. give me at least a bunch of people so i can disappear in the crowd afterwards #and also not look at a bunch of people instead of doing the awkward trying to make an appropriate amount of eye contact #or whatever. okay okay. off to the presenation. or something #mine #vent post #prioritisation who? it was not more urgent to find train routes back from gdansk that it was to start that presenation #so i wont be dead on my feet trying to present it and also get through the 10h class before going to the library #i hate my brain does anyone wanna switch

[pops-exe]

frens I have found out I got adhd which makes sense cause so far I got all the nifty low dopamine/norepinephrine issues like low blood pressure, narcolepsy/hypersomnia and depression (it's a crazy wombo combo i'll tell ya that). I hope you all are doing well cause i miss talking to yall. I'm just extra busy dealing with my goofy ahh brain and nervous system. Heavy stuff coming to terms with it. Also trying not to quit my job and change careers completely. My brain's RAM is always maxing out :/

#thats my thought for the void #it explains why i could never stick around with anyone or anything #the destruction of abandoned interests and close friends ive left in my wake hurts my brain #as much as i enjoy keeping up with everyone and everything #it never lasts long and ive found over the years my capacity for anything has gotten shorter and shorter #uh so #maybe after i get on (more) meds and stuff #i wont shutdown or get burnout #x to doubt #eh ive been hyperfocusing on trying all theses strats for my adhd and getting wiped out #lmao anyways #feel free to talk to me cause i can go years and catch up like nothing happened #but i forget to check up on ppl and get guilty and procrastinate and yknow adhd shit #dunno what im even trying to get at lmaooo #feel free to talk my ear off even if i dont respond #thats gonna be my new tagline when meeting ppl hah #maybe ill remember to return to the void #im just venting homies