#might let you guys see him sometime in the near future. might not cuz some of them were kinda saucy drawings ngl hahaha

[skuffypaw]

What is the premise behind Mumblepaw's 2nd Chance?

HI thank you for asking

ok very basic runover

mumblepaw is our protag (shocking). ex-loner joined caveclan. he befriends leopardpaw because theyre both punching bags for the other apprentices (most notably condorpaw)

in an accident mumblepaw injures leopardpaw and condorpaw convinces him to leave him at ruinsclan’s border to stage an ambush so it wouldn’t be their fault. leopardpaw disappears for a few days. this event rlly distances mumblepaw from the others more

leopardpaw comes back. he has kin in ruinsclan that were also their doctors so win!! this is when leopardpaw and mumblepaw get rlly close

one night they sneak out to hve fun and mess around but mumblepaw slips and falls into the river and drowns. the last thing he remembers before dying is leopardpaw trying to save him

boom wakes up in heaven. spirit cats tell him “ok we fucked up” cuz his death was like a butterfly effect and literally caused the destruction of the clans in the future so they send him back with a neat little prophecy and gnarly white markings

mumblepaw gets back to caveclan fucked up and everyone’s asking him questions but he only asks wheres leopardpaw. nobody knows, he’s disappeared. so after looking for him mumblepaw assumes hes dead

after a couple of months of grief mumblepaw becomes mumblethroat. since he’s spent a lot of time in the healer’s bay he’s close w the doctors driptail and wolfpaw. mumblethroat decides to tell them ab the prophecy which they decide to tell the leader and deputy (yawningstar and sheephowl) so they can decide what to do moving forwards

they find out thru isleclan that a strange cat attacked their patrols near the upwalker’s den (a town) and that they are observed to have a strange dislike for clan cats. it almost seemed like fear. this part of the story is where bogslip and kestrelfeather (the other apprentices that were friends with condorheart) become important as they get closer with mumble

anywho they go to a barn to disguise their scent (turns out bogslip’s dad who left the clans now lives there and might be dating driptail) and with the help of condorheart’s dad blackpuddle they get an account from a kittypet named ruby (condorheart’s brother)

ruby tells them that kittypets and rogues alike have began to fear ‘the havoc’, a cat that brings chaos everywhere they go and have the strange ability to start fires. fire is part of the propjecy so mumble is like ‘oh shit thats the giy i need to kill’

after some discussion mumblethroat splits the group up to do some digging to see if they can find this guy. he comes across a soot black cat with a mask and a cape. they’re weird but doesn’t bother mumblethroat. everyone comes back empty handed.

mumblethroat is disappointed by their investigation being a failure and sneaks out to the upwalker’s den on his own to try and find more clues only to come across the masked cat again. they strike up a conversation and mumblethroat promises to see them again

so now mumble is juggling seeing a loner and investigating a propjecy. he eventually calls the loner mask because they say they don’t have a name. to not blow his cover of being a clan cat incase loners were hostile to them. he lets mask call him pumpkin. sometimes during their meetings mask has fresh wounds or smells strange. mask also is friends with a fox who ‘helps them out.’

one night mask warns him that a strange group of cats is watching him and he must be careful. mumblethroat starts to get nervous because his clan cat identity might’ve been uncovered. but the next day he gets abducted!!!

the group he was captured by call themselves the order of the moon (i dont actually have a name fir them yet) lead by two cats, wax and wane. wax is the brute paired with oleander (a dog and its handler basically) whilst wane is the brain. he tells mumble that he too has a connection with the stars and knows about the prophecy, and that he’ll be the one to take down the havoc and tootm will rule over the upwalker’s den. wane wont let a clan cat get in the way. when mumble asks how they found him turns out condorheart sold him out lol. but before wax could kill mumblethroat mask comes in and kicks ass. the order flees but not before it is revealed that mask is the havoc.

mumble feels betrayed; his closest friend is the one he has to kill. the havoc checks mumble for his wounds but driptail and wolfcall find him. the havoc becomes very defensive and learns that mumblethroat is a clan cat. they have a fight and the havoc kills driptail and vows to destory the clans.

mumblethroat prepares the clans to fight against the havoc. it must be easy i mean they’re one cat, right? wrong. the havoc (w the help of condorheart and his fox friend) sets the fucking forest on fire. so the clans focus on evacuating everyone to isleclan (isleclan is… on an isle) whilst mumblethroat had a showdown w the havoc and condorheart… except condorheart is a pussy and flees.

mumble v the havoc!! the havoc loses and mumblethroat kills them. he peels off their mask only to find wowza its leopardpaw!!!

the end. no home!! no chance to reconcile w ur long lost friend!!!

obvs the story is a huge wip and is very messy so we’ll wait and see how i’ll chang eit

there’s also leopardpaw’s side of the story. he’s kind of like the ice king. but im too lazy to type all of that out

#mumblepaw’s 2nd chance

[the-firebird69]

This is a curious thing we're seeing Trump in the future after he goes to Cuba and he shot himself and her son says what's weird is the gun it didn't make him do it but it's a strange weapon and the metal makes people nuts sometimes you don't know how to handle properly. It's supposed to radiation. Now this made people curious you know he's been near the stuff and they know he's been around it and it does make people nutty. So they want to see and try and blame us but that's not where Mac was so keep talking it really this is about something very important.

The point is that this particular lawsuit states that Donald Trump raped Carol and we're talking about his friend's wife Paris Hilton and he is smart enough to try and draw it out himself and Paris Hilton had her own AI we know what the situation is we have agents moles and equipment performance and data I'm watching very close back then it's sexual assault and in an expensive store that Paris Hilton owned that's what it means. And he threatened her with his own assault Dave hit him a lot he would not let go of it start blaming our son so we started hitting him he still would not let go so something there folks

Thor Freya

Besides the fact that he is suing her for something the court said that he was guilty of in the final finding so he's going to get it kicked out and then he's going to go to court and they're going to be angry at him

I cannot stand this disgusting person next door but boys he's stupid everything is doing is a mistake and keeps repeating mistakes and making new ones I'm going to write a story about it no I want the lawsuit to go ahead against these imps who think that the law doesn't affect them it's going to start today

Hera

I've already written it up it's a group class action for those who tried to kidnap and name an assassinate injure and kill and it's a big one and it's important and because they keep doing it and we want to write to the government for assistance with the three individuals doing it or for and for them to be removed from the location where we're at because we're trapped here and we're going to write that up now and Max are very interested Mac Daddy is and his children and Ben Arnold these people have people under dress all the time and doesn't do anybody good even them

Bitol and Goddess Wife

They have to hand it to you he's trying to force some things it's not very nice but he's done a lot of help helpful things for us and one of them is coming up and he came up with some great ideas recently one is a competition and it's over a car design to make a car that's affordable everyone can buy their first start out as RTA that's ready to assemble. And we agree his idea is perfect and he wants the line to be replicas too that are RTA and that will get the regular vehicle going so we're going to check it out and we're going to see what we can do to start this company and we have to make a name for it starshine is what he came up with and really when you're driving a replica around it kind of is what it's like and just keep the name with the four-door which kind of look kind of little bmwish but it'll be its own make and we like the name it really is Loki lowbrow and it's supposed to be

Olympus

I like the name too I'm going to pass around and it seems the guys do and it would be starshine kit cars cuz we don't want to call them replicas even though they could be pretty easily and they like that idea too so I'm going to go ahead with it now you might ask the guys to put a kit car together maybe like a smaller than the four-door which is not too big it says medium size so make a little lotus of spree kit car but it's for a star shine and he's going to go ahead and do it and we're going to go ahead and make some moonshine too and make it up the mountains as legally if we can and he says of course and you know we'll do our best we had some names before. He says screw it let's just name it after planets and planetoids so people might do that and she'll like some old guy with the plant in the background I think we might start doing that they'll get cheap label at first we're going to go ahead with this idea but the first one is really important and it's a nice way of saying it we're going to work on the lotus esprit

Thor Freya and went out about Dan there was a lot of alerts and it was about him telling on them and they went after him and still are

I'm okay for now but I might have to go on the run now I'm starting to see what they're talking about

Dan

It's a huge deal what happened and the son said this is why I think and it is it's because the shield might be here and puts him at risk and his wife more so and it might help Tommy f

We agree with that line of thought

Olympus that is if the shield were here it would help Tommy f just Mac would be the good guy and bad guy

[spacepunksupreme]

All I wanna do is draw Dune fanart but I have Other Things I have to do, I don’t wanna do Other Things pleease

#hannah is talking #give myself a treat this weekend by allowing myself to make some fanart all day yesterday and it spoiled me #first time I drew any leisurely art since mid march and it was so nice ugh lol #it was all piter de vries #might let you guys see him sometime in the near future. might not cuz some of them were kinda saucy drawings ngl hahaha #the two assignments that I need to start working on both require so much mental energy and I just sighs I do not have it rn

[uwuwriting]

Road trip w/ Kaminari, Shinsou and Bakugou

Request: Shinso, Kami, and Bakugou on a long trip/plane ride with their S/o? Happy holidays bb! - 🥐

I wish I could go on a trip. I need Christmas break to last longer, I’m not ready to go back to school and study for uni, I’m not emotionally capable. I hate it here.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: fluff

Kaminari Denki

-You have a mini fight about who gets to drive at first. 

-You don’t trust him because he is dumb and bisexual and he believes that you’ll fall asleep ont he wheel cuz you stayed up until like 2 am the previous day downloading music and making playlists for the journey. 

-He gets to drive the first shift and it goes relatively well.

-You get some extra sleep, he enjoys his time behind the wheel and boom you’re now at a gas station having brunch before hitting the road again.

-Karaoke driving. 

-I think that’s all I have to say about your road trip with this guy. 

-HE will ignore the playlists with the soft songs because he needs to vibe at first. 

-Kills it with the Shakira impressions like you start wondering what would happen if he suddenly decides to follow a music career like Jiro. 

-So many bathroom stops. 

-Does this man have a prostate problem because damn.

-He can’t go for more than an hour without stopping to pee. 

-The one time you ask to stop at a gas station for a bathroom break he suggests just stopping at the side of the road and you could pee there. 

- “I do it so you can too.” 

-Denki honey I don’t have a dick to wip out…...I need essentials. 

-May or may not have taken the wrong exit at some point and you took a thirty minute detour. 

-At least you got some nice photos out of it. 

-Speaking of photos. 

-Your camera roll will be filled with selfies, stupid videos of Kami hyping himself up at a red light. 

-Races with other cars at said red lights. 

-You fear for your life most of the time, grasping the door handle like your life depended on  it because in reality it kinda did. 

-You beg him to take over and drive for a little bit but he brushes you off. 

- “You seem tired baby, let me drive for a bit.” 

- “Nope I’m perfectly fine Y/N. Gonna get us to the hotel so fucking fast.” 

- “Denki no-”

-He calms down after a while, and he lets you put on your soft playlist so you could both just vibe. 

-His hand is resting on your thigh, giving it a few firm squeezes every now and then. 

-He likes drumming the beat of the song on your skin.

-You start random conversations about anything and everything and if you’re being honest you love these types of moments. 

-There are no villains to fight, no danger in the horizon *apart from his driving* and you get to enjoy the tranquility while enjoying the ride.

-Denki starts telling you about adopting a dog and you joke that he would be a horrible dog dad. 

- “Maybe cats are better for you babe.” 

-You are no longer heroes. 

-You are just a couple going on a road trip, away from all your troubles and worries just you and him. 

-You reach the hotel later than you expected though…..it was those damn bathroom breaks!!!

Shinsou Hitoshi

-The trip is spontaneous. 

-You were both chillin in your apartment when he popped the question. 

- “Wanna go on a trip? I’m bored.” 

-You never expected him to pick a place this far away, you weren’t complaining though. 

-Road trips with him are immaculate. 

-He helps you pack your bags in no time, picking your favorite outfits out and placing them in your travel bags along with a bunch of snacks and a fluffy blanket. 

-You hit the road in less than an hour.

-It’s still dark out when you start your trip and Hitoshi insists you take a nap, get your beauty sleep while he drives. 

- “Don’t worry we won’t crash, I hope.”

-You do take a nap eventually but not for long and you wake up just in time to watch the sunrise with your boyfriend. 

-He will pull over and take pictures with the sunrise as your background. 

-He says he needs a new wallpaper on his phone and there’s an empty picture frame at his desk back at work. 

-He needs to fill them somehow. 

-Around noon he brings the fluffy blanket in the front seat, wrapping it around you so you can snuggle and possibly fall asleep again. 

-In reality he wants to take more pictures of  you with drool dripping down your chin for blackmail purposes but you will not yield !!!

-The trip is mainly filled with music and low humming coming from the both of you. 

-Though when a love song that reminds him of you comes on he will lean over and grip your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze, a blush blooming on his cheeks. 

-Makes many stops in spots that look great for photos or having an amazing view. 

-Definitely has prepared a picnic basket and before you know it you are munching down on some sandwiches he made while your feet are dangling over a small cliff you happened to come across. 

-Shares random facts about nature and animals with you. 

-Shinsou strikes me as a guy who watches a lot of documentaries and animal planet shows, so he has obtained random information and now he is explaining the mating cycle of penguins. 

-Would definitely prefer to sleep in the car and not rent a room. 

-He wants to stay outside looking at the stars for as long as possible and then snuggle up with you in the driver's seat, your head against his chest and his hand buried in your hair. 

-If you want to go to a hotel because you feel more comfortable, he won’t complain. 

-As long as he gets to cuddle you anything is fine in his book. 

-He puts on YOUR song while you are looking at the sky and invites you to dance with him. 

-Wraps his arms around your waist and slowly sways you back and forth, following the rhythm of the song as he looks into your eyes. 

-He loves capturing the moment so expect many photos to be taken and a bunch of videos of you two dancing. 

-He has his crackhead moments though so you can expect to be shoved into the water if you’re near a lake or at the beach. 

-He might draw a mustache on you while you sleep but don’t worry you get payback when he is asleep. 

Bakugou Katsuki 

-Whines while you back everything. 

-And when I say whines I mean he grumbles under his breath about this stupid shirt that he can’t seem to fold correctly.

-Anyways once you hit the road he is more relaxed than usual. 

-He keeps this tight, aggressive persona out in public you sometimes forget that this man, this amazing partner is also a pro hero who is known for his rough edges. 

-Sure, his explosive behavior doesn’t disappear when he is with you but he is a lot tamer and calm around you.

-During the car ride he makes small talk with you, sharing random events from his patrols and stupid shit his “squad” have done while out in public. 

-When he comes home every night he is just so tired that many details slip his mind as he recounts his day to you, seeing him right now a genuine smile gracing his lips as his only focus is the road in front of him really warms your heart. 

-He becomes more affectionate. 

-Hand gripping yours while he drives or his palm on your thigh, rubbing your soft skin as he hums along with the music. 

-Even if he needs to switch gears he won’t let go.

-Surprisingly he is the type to put on an audio book after a while. 

-Usually it's after your wedding song is over or soon after that. 

-Your song is like a trigger and suddenly sophisticated Bakugou emerges asking you to pick an audiobook from his collection and put it on. 

-Gets really invested in the story and pauses it every five minutes so you can discuss it. 

- “She could have escaped through the window why the fuck did she let herself get caught?” 

- “No Katsu!!! She needs to make sure the prince is alive!!” 

- “That’s fucking dumb!” 

-Let’s you take candid pictures of him and won’t complain when you coo over how pretty he looks with the sun behind him. 

-Don’t worry he is plotting to fill his gallery of pics of you sleeping. 

-When you actually fall asleep he will turn the radio down and hum softly under his breath. 

-If it starts raining heavily he will pull over and wait for it to calm down a bit. 

-My personal headcanon is that Katsuki has a car with a skylight *if that’s what its called* so he brings the seats down and you lay there admiring the rain falling onto the glass. 

-He likes talking about more serious matters when you are like this. 

-From your future to what pet your future kids could have. 

-If you get cold while waiting for the rain to calm down, he has a blanket on the ready. 

-He places you on his chest and drapes the blanket over you, enjoying your warmth and the filling of your pulse under his fingertips. 

-Might get a little emotional if a slow song is playing. 

-He is just too overwhelmed by his emotions at times like these, when he can hold you and feel the pure love and adoration flow between the two of you like water. 

-I love you’s are exchanged and many kisses. 

-When he starts driving again he is so refreshed, it’s like a completely different person. 

-Gas station stops and bathroom breaks are a nightmare cuz he keeps hyping himself up in order to go into Bakugou public mode. 

-You just want your Katsuki, the cuddly Katsuki. 

TAG TEAM AY: 

@the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​ @storage11037​ @ezoyscorner​ @letscheereachotheron​ @wolfkid22​ @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses​ @threeamwriting​ @ysatrap​ @yashinosakura

#Kaminari Denki #kaminari x reader #kaminari headcanons #kaminari x you #kaminari x y/n #denki x reader #Denki x you #denki x y/n #kaminari denki x reader #kaminari denki x you #shinsou hitoshi x you #shinsou x you #shinsou x yn #shinsou x y #shinsou x reade #shinsou hitoshi x reader #hitoshi x you #hitoshi x y/n #hitoshi x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki x you #katsuki x y/n #bnha #bnha x you #bnha x y/n #bnha x reader

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Nowhere to Run by  GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jonesfandomfanatic @jrob64 @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s

The song referenced in this chapter is “We are Glass” by Thompson Square. You can hear the song here:

It’s a beautiful song and I felt it really summed up the characters in this story.

Chapter 10: We are Glass

Killian spent the next couple of weeks recovering in the hospital. He asked Robin to stay at his place to keep an eye on Emma and Henry, yet Emma spent most of her time next to his bed side when she wasn’t sitting in the corner of the room with Henry on her lap, teaching him his school lessons.

She told him how she had been teaching Henry everything she could while they were on the run. He could read and write, knew his arithmetic, and was an excellent artist. He found that even when he was tired, he would spend his time watching the two with reverence. Emma was a patient mother, but Henry was also an exceptional child.

“Did it hurt when you got shot?” The boy mused as he sat on the end of his bed, peeking up from between the cards in his hands.

“Aye. I would say it was pretty painful. Go fish, by the way.” He paused. “But the pain was replaced quickly by a sense of numbness, I guess, so I didn’t feel it long.” He stretched restlessly, looking down at his cards. “Have any 3’s?”

The boy narrowed his eyes, looking through his cards. “Go fish.” He smirked. “Do you think my dad is going to get out of prison and come after us again?”

Killian placed his cards against his chest. “I don’t think so lad. He’s going to have a trial. He has that right. The state will present its evidence, and he’ll face any consequences that he’s found guilty of. But you don’t have to worry, Henry. Even if he does get out, he’ll never get near you or your mom again.”

“But what about you? Who’s going to protect you?”

“Well, I’ve got Captain Nolan, and my partner Robin. Will and Belle…”

“And mom and me.” He said proudly.

Killian’s heart swelled. “You’d protect me? I’m honored.”

“Is Rogers ok?” His nose scrunched in worry.

“He’s staying with Will. He’s not a young pup anymore, so the old boy needed a lot of help getting better. But when they finally let me out of here, he’s gonna come back and live with me.”

“Will me and mom live with you?”

Killian swallowed nervously. He and Emma hadn’t talked about the future yet. There was still so much for them to resolve. Ten years was a long time to be apart, especially when the last time they had seen each other they were not in a good place.

“Your mom and I have a lot to talk about still.”

“Are you really married to my mom?” Continuing his barrage of questions.

He sighed. “Aye.”

“That must have been weird having her gone for ten years then. I bet you missed her.”

“More than all the stars in the world.”

“She used to tell me stories about you.” The boy said, his eyes wide as saucers.

“Did she now?” He mused.

“Sometimes you were a cop fighting bad guys, other times you were a swashbuckling pirate searching for treasure, and sometimes you were a Lieutenant in the Royal Navy sailing off on a ship to save the princess. Mom tells the best stories, but they were always about you.”

Killian’s eyes glassed over, bending his head to reach up and swipe at his face. “Your mother has quite the imagination, but I’m happy to be able to oblige for your entertainment.”

“Who’s hungry?” Emma’s voice filled the room as she came carrying a tray of food and drinks. “The doc says you are off your diet.”

Killian groaned happily as she sat the hamburger down on the tray in front of him. The first real food he would get to eat in weeks. He bit into the burger immediately, moaning loudly as soon as he tasted the meat on his tongue. Emma was staring at him, her mouth slightly agape. “Wut?” He said between chews.

“Nothing.” She said with an embarrassing glance away from him, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red. At least he still had some sort of effect on her, he thought.

“How did the call with Liam go?” She sat down in the chair next to him, pulling a grilled cheese sandwich into her hands.

“He was happy to hear that Neal is behind bars. He’s going to come visit soon when the girls are on holiday. He wanted me to tell you how gutted he was knowing everything you’ve been through.”

She shrugged, something she did often when he mentioned her past with Neal. “It will be nice to see him again. The girls must be so big now.”

“Aye. Twelve and sixteen now. He has his hands full for sure.”

She took a bite of her sandwich, watching Henry coloring at the end of Killian’s bed. “He’s not bothering you is he?”

“We were just playing a game of Go Fish. I think he cheats.” He whispered loudly, earning a complaint from Henry. Emma let out a pleasant laugh, something he was happy to earn from her.

“Doctor says you might get out of here tomorrow.”

“That’s my hope as well. I can’t wait to see Rogers.”

“I’m glad he’s alright. The old boy’s a survivor.” Emma mused.

“Aye, that he is.”

“I made an appointment for Henry and I to go see Dr. Hopper next week.” She said with a sad smile. “Figured I might need to talk through some things before we have to face Neal again at trial.”

“Hop’s a good man.”

“You know him?”

“Aye.” He nodded, not wanting to get into the fact that he knew him because he had been his patient, after Emma had left, when the world crumbled at his feet.

“I’ve been looking for a place to stay once you get released from the hospital. I know you’re going to need your bed to recover.”

Killian bit his lip. He knew they needed to discuss this. He didn’t want her to leave, but he also knew that they had a lot to work through if they were going to ever find their way back to each other. If she still wanted that.

“I can talk to Will. He had a vacancy across the hall from him a couple of weeks ago.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

“Emma…”

“Hey there.” Killian stared at Emma’s face as David entered the room. “How ya feeling?” He turned, facing his boss.

“Doing great, going home tomorrow, I’ll be back on the streets before you know it.” He grinned cheekily.

“Yeah you’re taking some time off, buddy.”

“What?” He complained.

“Take a vacation, Killian. You’ve earned some time off. Robins got your cases locked down right now.”

“Cap, I’m fine.”

“It’s an order, Detective.” He walked over to Emma and smiled, she suddenly reached up and wrapped him into a hug.

“You look better.” He said softly.

“I feel better, I feel like I’ve gained ten pounds just eating three meals a day.” She chuckled, but both David and Killian glanced uncomfortably at each other.

“Hey, don’t do that. I’m fine.” She glared. “I don’t want you treating me any differently than you did when we were at the academy.” She winked up at David, “Still top of my class, sir.”

“It’s good to have you back Emma.” David smiled with a genuine air of happiness.

Three months later

Emma picked the shirt off the floor in Henry’s room, tossing it into the hamper. “Did you remember to pack a toothbrush?” The boy appeared from behind the doorway, poking his head into the room.

“Yup. It’s in the front pocket of my duffle.” He disappeared again and then reappeared. “Are you gonna be ok with this?”

Emma smiled at him. “Of course, I am, why would you ask that?”

“Cuz this is my first sleepover away from you that isn’t over at Killian’s.”

“I’ll be fine, Henry. I actually have plans tonight.”

He moved quickly into the room. “What kind of plans?”

She sat down on the bed. “I kinda have a date tonight.”

“Does Killian know?” He asked with a shocked look of disgust on his face.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about before you left.” He sat down next to her. “My date is with Killian.”

He jumped up from the bed and pumped his arms in the air. “Yes.”

Emma laughed. “Does that mean you’re ok with this?”

“Of course, I am. Killian’s the best. He even lets me stay up until 11pm when I stay over at his place.”

“Well, I’ll have to talk to him about that, but I’m glad you like him.” She wrapped her arms around Henry’s waist and hugged him tightly. “I love you, buddy. I hope you have fun tonight. And if you need me at all, you know you can call me.” She tousled his hair and kissed his cheek.

There was a knock on the door and Henry pushed away from her. “Gotta go, love you mom.”

Emma looked around Henry’s room, pictures he had drawn hanging on the wall. Her favorite one was hanging above the bed. It was of her, Henry, Killian, and Rogers playing at the park.

As difficult as returning home had been, they had settled into a pretty simple life. Emma and Henry had moved into their own apartment in Will’s complex. It was nice to have a friendly face around now and then when she found herself getting anxious on nights when Henry was sleeping over at Killian’s or when she would wake from a terrifying dream.

Will was always gracious no matter the time she found herself standing in front of his door with a bottle of rum in her hands. He would always sit up with her and listen to her talk about the first thing that came to her mind, something Dr. Hopper had suggested she try to take her mind off her nightmares. She didn’t know when it happened but before she knew it, he had become one of her closest friends.

And then there was Killian.

She wasn’t surprised that Henry had latched onto him so quickly. Killian was great with him, always patient, always offering to assist him with whatever the boy required. Which was often a lot as he was a growing boy who was adjusting to the freedom of being able to go outside and roam. Killian made sure he found new foods for him to try, adventures to experience, even new clothes to wear on his first day at a real school. Watching him with her son, the joy on his face, had her falling in love with him all over again. Of course, she hadn’t told him that. She was nervous about moving too quickly with him. Dr. Hopper told her that was normal. She had experienced a trauma and loss that not many people would cope with.

In her last session, she told her therapist that she wanted to try again with Killian. She had spent the last three months trying to figure out what her life would become now that she was home. She needed to learn who Emma was before she could deal with being Mrs. Jones again.

Killian had presented her with their divorce papers, gave her the choice to sign them and start her life fresh. She put it off, telling him that she needed some time to think before she made any big decisions in her life. He was patient and told her he understood but Emma knew that if he had his way, he would rip them to shreds.

Emma was volunteering at a small clinic that Mary Margaret worked at on the weekends, talking to victims of domestic abuse and rape. Currently she was taking it slow, still not understanding her own trauma that she had endured enough to feel like she had all the answers, but just being there with them to let them know they weren’t alone, and that someone understood what they had gone through. It was freeing to Emma to be able to own her story, to not feel ashamed anymore.

Dr. Hopper told her that was a form of acceptance. Owning what happened to you, claiming it as your story. She would never be over what Neal had done to her, stealing her dignity, laying waste to her self-esteem. But she refused to be defined by it. She didn’t want to be Emma Swan, rape victim. She was Emma Jones, survivor.

Today was going to be another step in her journey. Killian was taking her on a date. She remembered his face as they were eating lunch, a short break during his shift.

“We should go out.” She said nonchalantly between bites.

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Maybe, but I have to ask you a few questions first.” He raised his eyebrow, leaning forward for her to continue.

“Ask away.”

“I need to know if you ok going on a date with someone who is probably always going to be a little bit damaged.”

He shrugged, “Aren’t we all? I like to think I can absorb a little damage.”

“Ok then, last thing…” She grinned. “You gotta like kids or it’s a deal breaker.”

He laughed loudly, “Aye, I adore Henry.” He shrugged, “So, do I win a date with the beautiful woman who currently has a mayonnaise mustache?” He reached out, wiping the offending condiment from her lip, eliciting shockwaves through her body.

That was the moment she knew she was ready. She had felt excitement from his touch instead of withdrawing the moment he made contact.

He had insisted on being the one to plan the date, as much as she was sure she could still plan a night out, she had to admit that it took some of the pressure off. He wouldn’t tell her where they were going, only that it was somewhere she had been asking to go for a while and he felt she had earned it. Whatever that meant.

She slipped into the pink dress, pulling the straps over her shoulders. Looking in the mirror, she barely recognized herself. She looked feminine, happy, with a glint of hope in her eyes. The tears slipped onto her cheek; Neal had not stolen everything from her.

There was a knock on her door, a smile crept on her face. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and centering her mind. She was taking control of her life tonight.

Opening the door, she couldn’t control the shiver she felt when she saw him come into view. The man she fell in love with so many years ago was standing in front of her. Sure, he was older, the hint of grey kissing his hair, fine lines around his eyes, but he was even more gorgeous today than she remembered him all those years ago. This was the man who was willing to give up his life for her, loved her enough to save her, even if it meant he couldn’t have her.

“You look…”

“I know.” She giggled, accepting the rose he passed toward her. Her nose inhaled the fragrance of the flower, eyes glancing down his frame, the anticipation of the rest of their evening taking her to new heights.

“Shall we?”

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Patience is a virtue, love.” He winked.

She rolled her eyes but followed him out to his car. They drove in silence, her hands folded in her lap. The soft sounds of the radio playing through the car.

Trying to live and love,

With a heart that can't be broken,

Is like trying to see the light with eyes that can't be opened.

Yeah, we both carry baggage,

We picked up on our way, so if you love me do it gently,

And I will do the same.

Emma felt the tears sting her eyes. The lyrics breaking into her heart as she chanced a glance at the man sitting beside her, his eyes focused on the road, his jaw tensed, that familiar vein popping from the side of his neck. He never forgot her in all the time she had been gone. She knew how he felt about her. The way he loved her. He’d been so patient with her these last few months. Not pushing her either out the door or into his heart.

We may shine, we may shatter,

We may be picking up the pieces here on after,

We are fragile, we are human,

We are shaped by the light we let through us,

We break fast, cause we are glass.

'Cause we are glass.

He turned toward her, a smile ghosting on his lips that held onto hope. When she walked out the door ten years ago, she knew she still loved him, that she would always love the man who had risked everything for her. Now she knew that back then, before everything went to hell, she was being stubborn walking away, letting her fear of the unknown hold her captive.

I'll let you look inside me, through the stains and through the cracks,

And in the darkness of this moment,

You see the good and bad.

But try not to judge me, 'cause we've walked down different paths,

But it brought us here together, so I won't take that back.

She exhaled, a stray tear slipping against her cheek. She let it fall, not afraid of her emotions anymore. She had been stubborn; she should have known that they would have made anything work. Instead, she walked away and ended up in a hell she couldn’t control.

We might be oil and water, this could be a big mistake,

We might burn like gasoline and fire,

It's a chance we'll have to take.

Emma was ready to let go of all of that. To let go of the ten years she had been robbed of, to forget all the stubborn and foolish decisions that had gotten them to this moment. She wanted to reclaim her life. She wanted to take back what was owed to her.

We are glass.

The song referenced in this chapter is “We are Glass” by Thompson Square. You can hear the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPd1GIwjRFMIt’s a beautiful song and I felt it really summed up the characters in this story.

#stacy's fics #nowhere to run #killian jones #emma swan #captain swan #captain swan fics #captain swan au #captain swan modern au #emma jones

[depressedkakashihatake]

@trekkie-in-space Hi yes can we talk about this XD

#KAKAGAI#I'm not one for au but this is cute !!#the museum is big and you cannot possibly cover it all in one day expect if you rush i every room which is not the point of this trip at all#Gai manage to convince the school to do more trip to the museum to cover everything and his insistence and argument is rewarded.#more trip mean more meeting with the curator#if at first he always has to ask for Kakashi after a few time Kakashi is waiting for them.#Kakashi even do research to have more to says for the kids.#Gai sometime come just by himself#especially when collection change to give himself inspiration and idea on how to motivate the kids for the expedition.#the next time they go#and also to flirt with the curator#the kids know what's going on of course !!#Gai decide to invite Kakashi for a coffee one day to thank him for his effort with the kids#Kakashi was about to refuse but he really wants coffee and at first he is a bit closed off#but then he see that Gai is genuinely interested by what he is talking about (some very specific subject)#he just unleash and start ranting with passion on those very specific subject#and he know he should shut up nobody care much about his ranting usualy but Gai is drinking his every words and asking questions...#and damn if he doesn't fall a bit in love with him right on the spot. (a bit or a lot actually)#it become an habit#and sometime it's gai who rant about the kids and education and all those stuff and Kakashi listen with attention too.#one day when the kids are in the museum for a visit with Gai#Kakashi just casually ask Gai if he's free for another coffee and talk time later that day and of course Gai agree#(he has copy to correct but hell he's not gonna miss passing more time with this hot curator)#Tenten hear that and run toward the other screaming 'The curator just asked Gai-sensei on a date !!'#the two men are a blushing mess and Kakashi mutter 'yes I guess it's a date' all shily#Gai is like 'then what about diner instead ?'#// idk man that's what your au inspired in me x)#also I probably made two hundred spelling mistake in those tag but whatever

Cuz i have THOUGHTS.

Gai used to just rush through the museum because while his old friend would talk to the kids about the exabits, he wasn’t as in-depth as the new Curator and wouldn’t take a whole day trip in one exhibit. He was not expecting this when he asked for the curator but he loves it because as much as this guy seems to just not want to be there, he’s willing to ask any and all questions and has no desire to rush through things.

So naturally they have to make another trip. We only got to see the  prehistoric Japan room and we didn’t even finish there because there is so much to see and talk about.

It take’s a bit of convincing of course but Gai gets the clearance to go again, but now he wants to sort of plan out what rooms they’re going to see. So he starts going to the museum himself on the weekends to check everything out and make a lay out. Most of the time he doesn’t see the cute curator, but once in a while Kakashi comes out of hiding to do some other work and see’s Gai in the process of making out an attack plan of what rooms he wants to see on what days.

The second time the group comes, Kakashi is still annoyed to be called out to talk to the kids but he’s a little nicer from the get go because he really doesn’t want to scare off the cute teacher. 

The third time he’s a lot more laid back. He walks out with his hands in his pockets and very tired eyes, but as soon as the students start asking him about the Nara period (because why not) he gets excited. It’s the first time that week he’s not just looking at reports and artifacts and it’s just such a nice escape.

Of course, when Gai decides to say thank you with a cup of coffee he’s a little skeptical. The guy is cute and a lot of fun to watch with the kids, but he’s not sure if he’s going to be someone who wants to sit there and listen to Kakashi rant about all of the things he studies and organizes. The things that he loves so much. But it’s free coffee so why not.

And then not only is Gai letting him talk about his work without rolling his eyes and telling him that his interests are ‘boring’ but he’s actually asking him questions about it. Getting Kakashi to go into further detail and he’s soaking up every single word that he says. And when Gai talks about his passion for teaching, Kakashi is focused on every word that he says. He loves the energy that Gai has for his teaching and all of the effort he puts in to make sure that the kids are getting the best education that they can. 

After that Kakashi decides to ask Gai for his email address so that they can talk about any future trips that the school might want to make to the museum, and what room they would want to see that day. Gai thinks it’s a great Idea and happily gives Kakashi both his email and his phone number. Kakashi doesn’t use the phone number at first, but within a week Gai has an email from Kakashi talking about the next room they should visit and it has a detailed layout of all the things that they can talk about (with lots of time provided for the kids to ask questions). It’s a whole day plan that involves a lunch break, snack breaks, and some interactive play.

Gai is amazed. He has never had anyone take this job so passionately and he loves it. It take’s some convincing for the school to approve a whole day field trip to the museum, but he gets it after a lot of arguing and even some parents backing him up because the kids have talked about how much these trips have improved and all the fun things they’re learning on them. 

The first day trip is huge. Kakashi is there to greet Gai and the students at the front, a bored look on his face until he see’s them walking towards him. He doesn’t immediately change his body posture, but Gai can immediately see a shift in his eyes. The excitement that comes to life when he see’s them walking through the front door. 

The kids have a blast that day. They get to have a picnic lunch in the exhibit that they’re studying that day, the whole place is closed off for them to enjoy while other museum visitors enjoy the other sections. Kakashi has activities booklets for them to do themselves to learn about the Heian period, and it has all kinds of things. Questions for them to find answers to, pictures to colour in at home if they want to, and word searches and other puzzles for them to do. When Gai asks him where he got the booklets from, Kakashi gets very shy and admits that he got bored of all his paper work one day and decided to make them himself instead. 

Near the end of the day, Kakashi finally gets up the courage to ask Gai out to another coffee date, and to his relief Kakashi says Yes with the biggest smile. He’s excited for another chance to talk to Kakashi about all of the things that they both enjoy. But of course, Tenten overhears them and make’s a whole deal out of making sure everyone knows that their Teacher is going on a date with the Museum curator, which is just embaressing. So Kakashi ends up muttering under his breath about how this is obviously now a date, and Gai just smiles and says “in that case how about i pick you up when the museum closes and we can go to dinner?”

#Museum curator Kakashi #Teacher Gai #i legit just expanded on your idea's i'm sorry #but it had to be talked about #because they're super adorable

[icarol87]

Game of Death

This is the story of Matt Fisher, a hitman in his mid thirties from Sacramento, California who meets a beautiful young lady in her twenties, Delilah Stewart, at a bar in Louisville, Kentucky. Matt is in town to kill one of his associates, José Martinez who he thinks may try to sabotage one of his missions by leaking information to the police. As handsome as he is himself, Matt, dressed in blue jeans and a black leather jacket approaches Delilah with a drink in his hand and tries to charm her with his macho persona.

Matt: Hi, looks like your drink is about to be over.

Delilah: Hi, (smiles) thanks. Are you from Louisville?

Matt: No, I’m originally from California. I’m here for a few days to meet a friend.

Delilah: California huh? That sounds awesome. I have a friend who lives in LA.

Matt: Oh yeah?! Well, I’m from the other end, I live in Sacramento. So do you visit this friend of yours who lives in LA?

Delilah: Sometimes, yeah… I just visited her a couple of months back for the holidays.

Matt: Next time may be come to Sacramento. I could show you around. It’s an underrated city, but there’s lots to do.

Delilah: May be I will.

Matt: So do you know a good place for dinner cuz I’m kinda hungry?

Delilah: Are you asking me out? (smiles)

Matt: Well, I hate eating alone.

(Matt and Delilah hop into her car and drive to a nearby place open till midnight.)

Matt: So what places are open at this time?

Delilah: I know a great fall-of-the-bone ribs kinda place. Let’s go there.

Matt: Excellent!

Delilah: So what do you do for a living?

Matt: I am a tax analyst. I work for a company called Presto. Been there for like eight years now. What do you do?

Delilah: I am a freelance writer for both print and online publications. Been writing for over 4 years now. Started writing right after grad school.

(Matt and Delilah enter the restaurant)

Matt: Please suggest what’s most popular here. Man, it's been a while since I had good ribs.

Delilah: Sure, I’ll order for both of us.

Matt: So, what do you love writing about the most?

Delilah: Mostly experiences of tasting food and wine at different places. (chuckles)

Matt: That’s awesome. You must be loving your job.

Delilah: Yeah I do, but some days are super busy and tiring. Gotta submit the assignments before the deadline is due and sometimes I don’t even have enough time to gather all the information.

Matt: Yeah, it’s the same for me too. Some days I gotta stay up late and finish up those taxation reports due the next day.

Delilah: Hmm, do you like your job?

Matt: I do like it.

Delilah: (looks at her watch) That’s great. Hey, it's getting late and I’ve gotta finish up an assignment. Do you want me to drop you to your hotel or some place else?

Matt: Hey, don’t worry about it, I will take an Uber. It was lovely meeting you.

Delilah: Yeah, we should catch up for a coffee or something before you leave.

Matt: Yeah, sure. What’s your number?

(They exchange numbers.)

Matt: Thanks, I’ll call you.

(Delilah gets into her car and drives off.)

(Matt stays a little longer, checks messages from his phone and leaves shortly thereafter.)

(Matt goes to his hotel and starts planning the murder. He decides to kill José with a sniper, after closely observing him for the next few days.)

(The next morning, Matt hires a car from a car dealership and drives to the place he thinks José resides. While parked a few feet away, he pulls out his camera and starts taking pictures of the building.)

(He waits for an hour or so and meanwhile, lights up a cigarette while he continues to wait for some signs of his victim.)

(After a while, he drives to a nearby diner to get some breakfast.)

Server: Hi, what can I get you this fine morning?

Matt: I’d like a sunnyside up with a side of hashbrowns, biscuits and gravy. Some coffee of course! Thanks!

Server: Coming up right away.

(Meanwhile, Matt confirms with his boss over phone the address where José could possibly be.)

(After breakfast, he drives off to 17 Blacow Rd, where José is currently living. He parks his car at the same spot as he did earlier and bends over to light a cigarette. As he looks up, he catches a good glimpse of José and a woman in front of him in their patio. Matt couldn’t have a good look at the woman since her back was facing him.)

(Matt pulls out his camera and tries to click a picture but suddenly his phone rings. He ignores the call and looks back, but the couple goes back inside the living room. He smokes another cigarette while browsing through his contacts and comes across Delilah’s number. He decides to call her up to set up a date for coffee, while he waits on José.)

(Phone rings…)

Delilah: Hello

Matt: Hi, Delilah?

Delilah: Yes, Hi Matt? How are you?

Matt: Been good, and you?

Delilah: Been pretty good.

Matt: Awesome. Just thought I could take you out sometime for a cup of coffee.

Delilah: Yeah, coffee sounds good.

Matt: 5 PM tomorrow at Peet’s sound okay?

Delilah: Yeah I might be able to squeeze in some time for coffee tomorrow.

Matt: Cool. See you tomorrow then.

Delilah: Yeah! See you. Bye.

Matt: Okay, Bye-bye.

(The next few days, Matt continues to keep a close watch on his victim. He gathers all information on the people José meets and goes out with.)

(By this time, he has also gotten to know Delilah well. They go out on a few more dates and they both seem to like each other.)

(Matt is finally nearing the day he feels he is ready to pull the trigger on José and is watching him closely from outside his home, when he gets a call from Delilah one day.)

Delilah:  Hey, are you busy?

Matt: No, I was just hanging out with my friend at his place.

Delilah: Well, do you wanna come over at my apartment and watch a movie together?

Matt: (Pauses) uh… sure, give me 15 minutes.

(Matt shoves his camera in his glovebox and drives off to Delilah’s apartment.)

(He reaches over at her place and knocks on the door. Delilah opens the door with a big smile and lets him in.)

(They watch a movie snuggled up on her couch while drinking wine. One thing leads to another and they end up in bed.)

(The next morning they have breakfast together, after which Matt heads over to his hotel to prepare for the day of the murder.)

(It is a bright sunny day and Matt is geared up to kill the guy that might ruin all his future missions. He dresses in casual clothing and carries with him his backpack in which he has a pair of black leather gloves, his camera, some cash and extra clothing.)

(He heads over to what looks like a deserted building right across the street from José’s hideout and sets up a spot to shoot. As he looks through his sniper to aim in the direction of his victim, he spots a familiar face on the floor right above José’s apartment.)

(Suddenly there is a loud sound... BOOM… and before anyone knew it, a body falls on the ground with a loud thud.)

(It was Matt lying there in a pool of blood with a bullet that hit right through his head.)

(Delilah had aimed well and pulled the trigger on him without wasting much time. She knew all along that Matt was going to come to Louisville to kill her stepdad, José. But she was not going to let that happen and how could she? She was raised by José and sent to school when her drug addict mother had died out of a drug overdose and she was left to look after herself. José was all she had and when she grew up, he taught her the trade well. She was always surrounded by guns. He told her one day, ‘finish the enemy before the enemy tries to finish you.’)

#prose fiction #fictional characters #hitman #enemy #drama #betrayal #blood #suspense #thriller #love

[mrultra100]

1000th Post Y’all!

Well how ‘bout that? 1000 posts of my random and ridiculous shenanigans! It’s been a wild ride folks, and I couldn’t be more happy for all of your support! (And to this, that I started this blog for fun back last summer) To celebrate, here are my top 10 favorite posts!

10. https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/177268053221/diosmiles (by @diosmiles)

This mash-up of “Interior Crocodile, Alligator” and the SSBU version of “Gangplank Galleon” was made when King K. Rool was revealed as one of the game’s newcomers. When it may be short, it does have a nice rhyme to it. Seriously thou, the updated version of the Kremling King’s theme is fitting for his long awaited return in Smash Ultimate.

9. https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/178806537791/amtrax-squigglydigg-new-bendy-and-the-ink (by both @squigglydigg and @amtrax)

Another music one. Out of all the fan-made BATIM songs out there, “Welcome Home” might be my all time favorite of the bunch, with the lyrics, voice acting, etc, Hailey, Austin, and the gang really outdid themselves with this one, especially at the last verse of the song.

8.https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/175851041991/cookievampiress-mrultra100-asked-me-to-draw (By @cookievampiress)

Behold ladies and gents (If you remember this one) the very first art request I ever sent! (And also the first V-Twin request at that) Since the first time I since “Fangs a Lot Johnny” (A Johnny Test  season 5 episode), the Vampire Twins (Especially Vampire Mary) have climbed onto the ranks of my all time favorite characters. There’s just something I love about evil goth-like versions of certain cartoon characters, and since I love vampires, this ain’t no exception. 

Though I don’t like to share personal info or complain, for some reason, Cookie decided to block me shortly after the request was done. I could have upsetted her over something, and I wish in the near future, I can speak with her again to see what happened. Again tho, I’m not big on controversy, but I wanted to point that out. Let’s move on!

7. https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/179708341611/mexican64-so-two-major-things-happened (By @mexican64)

This piece was made towards Piranha Plant’s reveal as a fighter in Smash, and our first meeting with Alastor in Hazbin Hotel. If there’s something that the 2 have is common, that would be those sharp smiles they have. More points for adding the visual elements of the Radio Demon onto the carnivorous flora, Especially the ears!

6. https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/178498693031/bogleech-i-didnt-even-give-gooseworx-any (Made for @bogleech by Gooseworx)

As you may know, “Awful Hospital” happens to be my favorite web-comic, and that’s coming from a guy, who’s not big on stuff like “Homestuck” and all that. Nonetheless, AH could always used it’s own theme that captures the twisted and bizarre feel of the series, and what other that the extremely talented Gooseworx? (Goose also does music for the aforementioned Hazbin Hotel btw) As Bog stated, this this also count as Dr. Phage’s personal theme, very fitting for him as he is my favorite AH character.

5. https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/182018074106/seriously-tho-its-been-lil-more-than-2-years-at (By yours truely!)

Outdated meme aside,not to be rude, Did anyone noticed the similarities at all? Guzzlord basically what happen if you feed Vaka-Waka some experimental steroids and throw him in a another dimension. And to make this more loco-crazy, the Mixel came a little more than a year before the Pokemon (Mixels Series 6 was released on October 1, 2015, and Pokemon Sun and Moon was released on Novenber 18, 2016), weird, right?

4. https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/180606173256/retrograde64-art-request-for-mrultra100-heres (By @retrograde64)

At the time of this one, I was getting a lil’ tired of sending V-Twin art requests, since there’s now so many of ‘em, so I figured, why not “stretch” (I ain’t sorry for that pun) the boundaries of what I sent as art requests, and try new ideas? If you’re wondering, my favorite of the Flexers (and the Mixels in general) is Tentro.

3. https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/182991618561/here-is-it-the-favorite-character-bingo-that-no (By me again, of course, and this was created by @ trash--senpai )

This was created by a good friend of mine (@trash--senpai) and might count as the weirdest request I ever sent. When I asked her to create this one, she was a bit confused by it, considering that she’s a artist, this was strange to her, nonethless, she not only got mine done, she also made one for herself. (I told her that she can make one for herself when she worked on mine)

2. https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/182810505846/kirby-after-the-events-of-world-of-light-this (Done by me, based on @terminalmontage)

This is the only drawing of mine on this list, cuz let’s face it, my art skills suck donkey dongs! (More on that later tho) This one was made for Valentine’s Day, and as well all know, celebrating Valentines is killing world-destroying gods together with your loved ones. Sigh... Kirby makes that part too easy!

https://mrultra100.tumblr.com/post/175498459271/draculabrides-fangs-a-lot-johnny-you-can (By @draculabrides)

To finish this list, let’s go back to where it all began. One summer night on July 3, 2018, a certain fella in his mid-teens (I.E, me!) want to create a fandom based blog on a website notorious for feminazis whining about Steven Universe and “political correctness”, Eugh. Anyways, the first post (Or reblog if you will) was a collection of gifs featuring a certain sparkly undead duo who went on to becoming the mascots of said blog.

Welp, guess that all of them, and that’s only 10 posts out of 1000 posts and reblog that I made in almost the last year. To all of my friends and the followers who were crazy enough to follow a fella who’s obsessed with cartoon vampire girls like me ( @good-guy-is-alive , @naty-js , @odreiwa , @captain-animatordreamer ,etc) thanks for everything! Also, I plan to start digital art sometime in the near future, and I might leave this blog to start anew after some practice (and with a whole new name AND look to boot) Don’t get me wrong, I’m not leaving here, I might keep this blog as a memory. I’m Mr. Ultra, the Fandom Jacka** of the Digital Blue Hills of Hell, and I hope you have a nice day. See you later, and “Stay Ultra Folks!”

#@mrultra100 #Ultra Ramblings #1000th post special #future plans #stay tuned

[because-of-a-friend]

Time Travel Series Pt. 3

MASTERLIST

Seungcheol | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | Minghao | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino 

JOSHUA HONG

-So Josh probably travels the least out of all the members

-Like he usually only goes if another member wants to go 

-So instead of running off 

-He just kind of stays in the present

-He’s like a base for everyone 

-He keeps track of everything

-Where everyone’s going 

-What time period they’re going to

-How often they leave and for how long

-Any problems they encounter

-So overall Joshua’s experience with this is....

-Stressful 

-It’s so stressful

-Like wow is he just constantly worried about the other members 

-Especially when they don’t warn him where they’re going before they travel

-Because what if something happens to them and they have no idea when or where to look 

-Joshua makes the rules

-1. Always tell him before you jump

-2. Always try to be back in the same day

-3. Don’t tell anyone else

-4. Don’t do anything to change the course of events

-5. Do not bring anything or any person back to this time from a different one

-6. Always jump in a safe place

-You think these would be fairly easy rules to follow

-Apparently to the rest of the boys, they are not

-So Joshua is just stuck in a state of stress, sometimes just hoping he sees all of them alive by the end of the day

-When he does get to this state of stress, he’ll mark down a jump, and travel, just to remind himself it doesn’t have to be that scary or dangerous

-He’s a fan of going back to America, specifically New York for some reason, around the 20s

-He runs into Vernon there once and Vernon is like “Boi what”

-But he just really loves it 

-The time period, how people dressed, how they spoke, how life seemed a lot calmer compared to the future

-One day he stays there a little too long, cuz he’s just enjoying the night life of old-timey New York

-So he’s hella tired when he decides to jump back

-So he’s not exactly paying attention

-So he ends up jumping back in the middle of a sidewalk outside

-And he’s like crap, I should be back in the dorm not here

-But it’s night and he looks around and he doesn’t really see anyone

-So he kind of brushes himself off and yawns as he reads the street signs to figure out where he is so he can walk back to the dorm

-He needs to be going the opposite way of where he’s facing 

-So he turns around 

-And you’re standing there staring at him like !!!!

-And he just freezes 

-Like shit he just broke one of his one rules

-The boys are never gonna let this one go

-But it was an accident 

-He kind of lets out this little “Um hey”

-And you just start running 

-You’re real fast so no, he doesn’t catch you

-And he just like kind of dies inside 

-”Well I hope they don’t tell anyone”

-The next day it’s on the news

-”Local student sees boy appear out of thin air”

-The boys laugh at Joshua when he turns red 

-They start teasing “Mr. Strict pants” about breaking his own rule

-”Really guys? Mr. Strict Pants? You couldn’t come up with anything better”

-They explain that they’re just teasing because this’ll be like any other fantastical story

-No one is gonna believe it and soon everyone will forget about it

-Joshua just quietly nods, cuz ya they’re right

-But he sees you again

-Literally the next day

-You’re in the coffee shop he always goes to 

-And he’s upset cuz like 

-He loves this coffee shop and now your stressful presence is here 

-He’s kind of grumpy that day

-So he’s just kind of like “screw it”

-Comes inside anyways and starts waiting in line 

-You end up behind him

-So he gets up there and orders 

-He pays a lot extra and is like “I’m paying for theirs too, and if you wouldn’t mind giving them this note?”

-So you get up their to order your coffee 

-And the cashier is like “Don’t worry about paying, the gentleman in front of you took care of it”

-And you’re like awww so sweet 

-But then the cashier is like “He left you this note”

-And you’re kind of like ummmm ok? Is this their way of flirting with me? Kind of sketchy and I’m not really here for it

-So you open the note expecting to find some cheesy pick up line and a number

-But instead it just says “Meet me outside the cafe when you get your coffee, side entrance”

-And you just kind of sigh because you have to go out that entrance anyways since it’s closer to your apartment, but this is weird and you don’t like it 

-But you straighten yourself out cuz

-Hopefully the worst thing that happens is you just have to tell some greasy guy off

-But you get out there and !!!

-It’s the magic boy that appeared out of thin air

-And your instinct is to just run again

-But you hesitate long enough to hear him say 

-”Well? Don’t you have any questions?”

-And you’re like wtf????

-This boy actually used magic in front of me and he’s just casually wondering if I have any questions????

-You kind of consider slapping him 

-But you don’t cuz his face is really pure looking and you genuinely don’t know what’s going on yet

-And he’s just kind of waiting for your response

-So you just sit there for a second 

-”Do you think maybe you could explain to me what’s going on and then see if I have any questions after?”

-And that’s how you and Joshua’s friendship starts

-You just spend all this time together so he can explain everything about time travel and what’s going on

-You come up with all these theories and scientific questions and just rant about them to him

-He lowkey finds it adorable

-Once you finally understand what’s going on you really get to know Joshua

-And hey he’s a really nice guy, he can sing really well, he’s super smart, and wow pretty cute

-He’s kind of thinking all the same things about you

-And he really really likes you 

-And he just kind of wants to do something for you

-So he works up the courage

-”Hey [Y/N] you wanna jump with me?”

-And you’re like holy shit you can do that???

-And he’s like ya, I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go

-He starts listing all the cool places he’s been and heard about

-But you interrupt him and you’re like no

-You state out an exact location, date, and time

-And he’s like??? Ok wow you must have actually thought about this

-So he takes you and it ends up being this park

-It’s the middle of the night

-It’s pretty cold and he’s real confused about why you wanna be here

-But he looks over at you and you’re just staring at this one specific spot

-So he looks 

-And hey there’s a little kid and their dad just walking

-And he’s like I recognize that man 

-He realizes it’s the man whose picture is in your wallet 

-Now he has a lot of questions 

-But when he looks over again, you’re crying

-And now he’s like um what

-But you just kind of 

-”He always promised me we’d get a good house and I’d go to a good school and he’d buy me nicer things”

-Your father, Joshua realizes, it’s your father

-”I just can’t wait for him to see how far we’ve come”

-And Joshua just nods

-And then you gasp

-And he turns 

-You’re taking out the little locket you always wear

-And you’re pulling out the pictures?

-”This was the night we found this”

-You pull of the locket and before Joshua can do anything, you’re running off

-You sneak up to the bushes near the sidewalk young you and your father are walking down

-You kind of throw it onto the sidewalk and bolt back to Josh

-You hear your younger self squeal and your father chuckle as he places the locket over your neck

-When you grab Joshua’s hand, you jump back

-And Joshua is all shy but honored that he got to witness that moment 

-You kiss his cheek and whisper thank you, still drying off your tears

-And Joshua is really in awe of you cuz you could have chosen anywhere but this was what you wanted

-And he just kind of smiles because 

-If he wants to travel with anyone for the rest of his life

-It’s someone who can enjoy the simple things

-And he might have just found that person

#svt #seventeen #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenarion #seventeen scenario #s.coups #s.coups imagines #jeonghan #jeonghan imagines #joshua #joshua imagines #jun #jun imagines #hoshi #hoshi imagines #wonwoo #wonwoo imagines #woozi #woozi imagines #the8 #the8 imagines #dk #dk imagines #mingyu #mingyu imagines #seungkwan #seungkwan imagines #vernon #vernon imagines #dino

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Bucky Barnes goes back in time to save Tony Stark from himself, in whatever for that might take... could be established relationship, could be a Civil War fix it, time loop.... Tony sending Bucky back in time thinking Bucky would choose Steve, anything you like... just Bucky doing everything in his power to make Tony safe and happy (with him)! Please and thank you.

Combined with:

Bucky from the future travels back in time to protect pre-im Tony.

The Things We Relive: Part 1

Sometimes what Tony really needs protection from is himself.

As the room resolved around him with a dizzying blur, Bucky looked down at the baby cooing in the crib, arms and legs waving as he watched the mobile over the crib rotating slowly, little planes and rockets bobbing gently in the breeze left by Bucky’s sudden appearance.

“Shit. Too far.” He held up his walkie talkie and squeezed the button, hoping that it would work like they all guessed it would. “Guys, you sent me too far.  He’s just a baby.”  He reached into the crib with his metal hand, letting little Tony grab his finger.  “Hey, cutie,” he murmured. “How ya doing?  Trying to save the world yet? No, cuz you can’t even talk. Look at you, little Iron Baby.”  Tony was gumming Bucky’s finger when he realized that his mike was still active.  He let go of the button and felt his face get hot during the long silence that followed.

“Roger that, James,” Natasha said, laughter still in her voice.  At least it was a break from the tension of the past few days as they tried to figure out how to work Tony’s time machine.  “Come on back and we’ll reset the settings and try again.”

“10-4.” This time Bucky remembered to let go of the button before he leaned over the crib. He set the walkie talkie down and ran his flesh hand over the downy hair on Tony’s scalp, tracing a finger down his soft cheek.  Tony turned his head towards the sensation and waved his chubby arms and legs until he managed to turn over onto his stomach, looking surprised.  Bucky smiled gently as Tony’s big head bobbled as he tried to look up at Bucky and felt his chest get tight.  “I miss you, Tony.  We’re going to fix this, ok?  It’s going to be alright.”

“Who the hell are you?” A woman demanded shrilly from the door. “Get away from my baby!”

Bucky had just enough time to grab the walkie and hit the getaway button before Maria Stark descended on him like a Valkyrie.

(Watch out for the break!)

“Did anyone see you?” Natasha asked when he reappeared in Tony’s lab.

“Tony’s mom, but she wouldn’t recognize me.”

Natasha raised her eyebrow and said dryly, “But I imagine than seeing someone disappear into thin air might cause some comment.”

“Oh, yeah. Whoops.”  Bucky chewed on his lip for a moment and then had to shrug. “Can’t do anything about it now.  We don’t have time to go back and fix it, right? I’ll do better next time.  Maybe she’ll just think she hallucinated or something.”  He hesitated. “How’s Steve?”

“Still in the hospital, but the doctors say he’s healing well.  Sam’s with him now.”

“Does he know?”

“No.” She shook her head, her red hair swinging gently. She tucked some of it behind her ear and pretended like she was studying the control panel. “Right now it’s just us, but I feel like it’s only a matter of time before Dr. Strange comes around wondering why Tony wanted to study his necklace.”

“Yeah.” Bucky frowned at the Eye of Agamemnon, which was staring out of Tony’s machine impassively, shining green and looking vaguely sinister amidst the shiny steel and glass device Tony built to harness its power. “Alright, let’s go again.”

Natasha looked at Tony’s scrawled notes, somehow managing to read his handwriting, and did something to the control panel. “Ready?”

Bucky tugged his sleeve and his glove to make sure his arm was covered, and smoothed down his hair under his hat.  He took a deep breath and said, “Ok, go.”

This time Bucky flickered into existence in a shady park, near an elaborate playground that only had a couple of kids on it.  Bucky’s brow creased as he swiftly examined his surroundings, trying to find Tony.  There was one woman sitting on a bench with a baby carrier at her feet, trying to divide her attention between the baby and a blonde hair girl throwing sand in the sandbox.  On the far side of the playground a man had a briefcase opened next to him and was deeply absorbed in a file of papers while on the playground the only other kid was a dark-haired boy climbing all the way to the top of the structure, which was at least twenty feet off the ground.

“Dad! Look at me, Dad!” The boy called out as he balanced precariously on the highest railing, one hand holding on while the other waved at the oblivious businessman.

“Goddammit, Howard,” Bucky growled. “Tony, stop!” he shouted as loud as he dared. “Get down!” he went around to the other side of the structure so that Howard wouldn’t see him and gestured for Tony to come down.  Tony glanced at him curiously, clearly wondering why this strange man knew his name, but then he turned back to his father.

“Dad!”

Bucky started to climb the structure to get him when Tony lost his balance with a sharp cry of surprise.  He caught himself for a minute with one hand, but it quickly slipped off.  Bucky managed to catch him as he fell, reaching out through the bars to grab a wrist before Tony could hit the ground. “Come on, grab on,” he urged, and Tony, wide-eyed and breathing shakily from adrenaline, finally grabbed the bars and let Bucky help him climb over until he was standing on one of the playground’s metal walkways.  “You ok?”

Tony nodded, still looking like he wanted to cry but holding it in with a tight jaw and damp eyes. Bucky watched him and got a lump in his throat; Tony was already starting to swallow his pain and he was what, six?  Bucky knelt down so he was eye to eye with Tony. “Hey, it’s ok.  It’s ok to be scared or sad or upset, you know? You don’t have to keep it in all the time. It’s not good for you, like trying to hold in a sneeze.”  Bucky mimed holding a sneeze and then having something explode out his ears, and grinned when Tony giggled.  “The more you hold in those feelings the worse it gets when they finally come out.  Even if you have to go somewhere to be by yourself, cry if you need to, ok?  I know what your dad probably says,” Bucky glanced at where Howard had yet to look up from whatever he was writing, “but it doesn’t actually make you less of a man to cry.” Tony looked dubious but he eventually nodded.  “I’ve gotta go now, but I want to show you something cool.”  When Tony’s eyes lit up, Bucky pulled his glove off and waved his metal fingers at Tony.

“Holy shit!” Tony said and Bucky shushed him with a laugh.  “Are you a robot?”

“A little bit. I came from the future to save your life.  Be a little more careful so I don’t have so much work to do, ok?” Bucky winked and gave Tony a high five with the metal hand.

He jumped down off the structure and clicked the button on his walkie as soon as he was out of sight of the playground and he was sure no one was around. “Tasha, he’s six.  Still too soon, I'm coming back.”

“Bleh,” Bucky said when he appeared back in Tony’s lab, feeling a bit queasy.  He waved off Natasha’s curious look and smothered a burp.  “Whatever changes you made last time, you gotta do them a bit more this time.”

“Ok. Did anyone see you?”

“Nope,” Bucky lied. “He was on a playground with Howard.”  He chugged a bottle of water while Natasha fiddled again with the control panel.  He eyed the clock on the wall; even though he had spent maybe ten minutes on the playground, a couple of hours had passed here. Thinking about how long Tony had been gone before they realized what he’d done made Bucky’s stomach roil again, so he pushed the thought away.

“I’m being cautious because I don’t want to go too far,” she explained as Bucky got ready to go back again.  “You’ll probably be too soon again, but at least I’ll know what kind of increments this thing is calibrated to.”

Bucky nodded, and then there was a brain hurting blackness and then Bucky was standing in the middle of what looked like a college campus.  Someone on a skateboard ran into him and fell down to the pavement when Bucky didn’t give at all.  “Watch it, man,” the kid scowled and grabbed his skateboard while Bucky just stared.  Bucky knew that he was still too early, because this was probably while Tony was in college, but the prospect of seeing a teenage Tony was too good to pass up. With a guilty mental apology to Natasha, Bucky tried to look less like a shifty hobo while he looked around.  

It turned out to be pretty easy to find him, despite the fact that MIT was a pretty large campus.  Bucky recognized DUM-E in the middle of one of the brick courtyards, picking up and sorting items out of the pile in front of it.  Tony was watching proudly while people were chattering excitedly and adding to the pile for DUM-E to sort.  Beside him, Bucky recognized a young Rhodey, elbowing him and making some joke that had Tony laughing.

Bucky let himself watch Tony be happy for a while.  The shadows that would haunt Tony’s eyes later were barely present now, the weight of the world only lightly tugging at his shoulders.  He rubbed a hand over his sternum, swallowing thickly at the sudden ache in his chest.  “Still too soon,” he finally said into his walkie talkie. “I think he’s seventeen.”

“Closer, then.  Ok.”

When he was back in Tony’s lab he smothered the urge to punch Tony’s stupid time machine. The queasy feeling was back, and stronger now. “Why doesn’t this goddamned Eye of Amaretto-“

“Agamoto.”

“Whatever come with some instructions?  This is so aggravating.”  Outside it had grown dark, and Natasha was starting to look tired.  Hopefully this would be the last trip.

“We don’t need instructions for the artifact, we need them for the machine, and unfortunately they mostly exist in Tony’s head right now.  I think we’re doing ok, honestly.  I already have the next jump prepared, are you ready?”  

“Yeah.”  Natasha gazed at him searchingly; this trip was going to be the hard one, hard for Bucky specifically, but he refused to let her take his place.  Not the least because there was no way Bucky would be able to figure out the controls for the machine as fast as Natasha did.

This time Buckly closed his eyes, knowing before he opened them that Natasha had gotten it right this time.  The chill in the air, the sound of wind through evergreen trees, the gravel he could feel under his boots.  Bucky opened his eyes and saw a dirt road stretch before him, empty and quiet.  He took a few shaky breaths and positioned himself by the side of the road to wait.

It took an hour for the sound of a car to reach his ears.  Bucky felt his entire body tense and he kept an eye out for the distinctive light of an Iron Man suit. Too soon, Bucky also heard the growl of a motorcycle and he had to breath shallowly or he thought he was going to throw up. When the sound of a blown tire and the screech of brakes came, he forced himself to get closer to the road so that he would see Tony before anyone else did.

But Tony never came.  Bucky forced himself to stay for “Sergeant Barnes?” and the sickening crunch of a metal fist hitting Howard’s face, for “Howard? Howard!” and the barely audible sounds of someone being strangled.  Even though he knew it was coming the sound of the gunshot made him jump, then came the closing of the trunk and the roar of the motorcycle as the Winter Soldier left.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, listening to the tick and hiss of the damaged motor, before he brought the walkie talkie up to his face, realizing only at that moment that his cheeks were wet.  “We were wrong, Natasha. He didn’t come here.”

#winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #prompts #dracusfyre #Anonymous

[humanintereststory]

7: Make Good TV

After that torrent of raw emotion, John closed inward. He never wanted to say any of that and he couldn’t imagine that he would have said it to someone who at most was an acquaintance. Despite that, she still persisted and not in a way that would be considered a nuisance but instead a gentle prodding to the next necessary step. Fortunately for Mike, John had kept a slip of paper with his boss’ business number in his wallet. The remnants of his cell phone were now swept away by the cleaning crew and in the near future were scattered about in a nearby landfill. John had insisted to Michael Saint that he needed to speak with Mike as it was integral that she join him as his, and he knew that he was being self-depreciating but it was also possibly what management wanted to hear, his handler. From there, Mike had, within thirty minutes, a private meeting with the general manager and walked out with provisional terms for a contract of employment. Once John had started to leave again so he could slip away into the night - perhaps satisfied that he did his good deed for the day, Mike stopped him once again. Her employee, a young college student, had bailed as he had class in less than seven hours so it was just Mike McGuire now. His conscious thoughts told him to pull away and to go back into seclusion - it was always how it had been so why stop now? But something else, unbeknownst to him, prevailed and he turned to face her. “‘Ay, are you stayin’ anyplace tonight? Got a hotel room or somethin’?” The answer was no. John had abandoned his apartment lease over a month ago now and now technically had no place of residence or any real intention to stay in any more hotel rooms. “I’m just going to hit the road. I usually sleep on the way there. Not really sure yet.” “Well, if you wanted, you could crash at my place. Ain’t the Ritz, but I got a spare room and it beats sleepin’ in your car.” John’s eyes widened as if he had been found out. She pointed at the piled up blanket in the back seat of the car and from there asked if he was really living anywhere. He shook his head. At that point she insisted. One night turned in two nights. Two into a week. That week had become a crash course in the mundane realities of life. John had taken the basic functions for granted and was finding that he was slipping further and further in an attempt to replicate what he had before. John had decided to let go and let Mike light the way. Suddenly he had a bank account. He had a new cellphone with the proviso that this one shouldn’t be broken into a million pieces. He had plane tickets to future destinations because Mike had emphatically stated that his vehicle wouldn’t survive much more criss-crossing of this great nation. Some astute observers could draw the parallel of John waiting for that slot in his steel door to open three times a day but Mike always insisted that he was going to do it next time because she’s not his goddamn Mother. But it wasn’t just that because John concluded that Mike just wanted to talk to someone and she tried repeatedly to strike up conversations. The first couple of nights, John had been regaled of tales of her past. Sometimes it was about business but John didn’t want to talk about himself much so he just listened intently. It was like listening to a good book. Most of the time, though, John kept to himself by reading the book he had lifted at the motel. John, much to Mike’s excitement, had been successful in his last few contests. He had some momentum, she said, and people were starting to take notice. He had recoiled from that. People taking notice meant attracting unwanted attention. It was hard for him to explain. The ring was a sanctuary and despite the viewing audience, it was really just between him and the opposition. The cruelty and negativity were no longer part of the equation - it was now a battle of wits and strength. Two or more opposing forces moving against each other in a violent but beautiful struggle. It was Tuesday afternoon and last night, John had earned a defining victory over a former television champion. Mike, out of nowhere, said it’s time and beckoned him to join her in the backyard. It was time to get in ring shape, she proclaimed. They separated briefly to change into workout gear. John stepped through the open sliding glass door into a yard surrounded by a ten foot tall wooden fence. In the middle of the yard was a ring. It was in a state of disrepair. The ropes looked loose and frayed and some parts were wrapped in duct tape. The turnbuckles were mismatched in color and shape. The canvas was soiled and the branches of a maple tree hung over the ring casting its shadow and depositing leaves and twigs throughout. John couldn’t help to think about that place he’d visit when he started to see red. That ring was his garden. It was where he would grow. “I like it,” John said with complete sincerity. “Aw, it ain’t nothin’ special. Got the thing for a song on Craigslist. It’s fourth-hand. Maybe fifth. Fuck, thing might even be eighth-hand, but it’s a damn ring and that’s what’s important.” “Craig seems to have a lot of things you’ve acquired.” “It’s a website. Kinda like a giant garage sale, aw, never mind, that ain’t important right now,” she slid into the ring and hopped up to sit on a turnbuckle, “I’m supposed t’ debut on May 11th. Still can’t thank you enough for gettin’ my foot in the door.” John walked tentatively around the ring, his fingers tracing along the stained apron, “Gives you plenty of time to prepare, I suppose. As for the introduction, I believe this last week has more than made up for one phone call.” “You can stay as long as you want, y’know. I’ve kinda liked having someone to talk to b’sides Mr. Met,”chuckling, she leaned forward a bit, somewhat like a perched phoenix, “Y’know, Church, I’ve been thinking. That was smart, what you said to get Saint’s attention, but I don’t think you could use a handler. Without gettin’ into it, I think you’ve had enough of that. My opinion, what you could probably use better,” she gave that same impish grin he’d seen on her face plenty by now, “is a partner.” John pulled at the bottom rope and it had too much give, “Mike,” he cleared his throat nervously, “I’ve been alone for a long time now but we just met. I mean not just met but in the grand scheme of time and all…” She giggled and then caught her hands on the ropes so she didn’t fall off backwards, “Church, hon, you don’t gotta worry about that. You’re a swell guy but you ain’t my type. Got the wrong, assets, if you get my drift. Naw, dude, I’m talking about being my tag partner.” John wasn’t really catching any drifts at this point, “I’m not sure what is my type, am I my type?” he looked up to her, “I’ve never had a tag partner,” there was a long pause as John paced back and forth in front of the ring, he mumbled to himself, seemingly assessing a complicated algorithm but then suddenly he stated, “Okay. We’re a team now.” “Fuckin’ A!” she gave a bit of a whoop and jumped from the turnbuckle to the mat. The ring shook in a slightly concerning manner, “Trust me. This is gonna be awesome,” she then scratched the back of her head, wearing the sheepish look of someone who may have done something she shouldn’t have, “cuz when I said ‘my debut’ I maaaaay have kinda meant our debut.” John looked at her blankly, which was the default expression seemingly and Mike braced herself for an objection, “Okay. Fine with me.” She let out a relieved ‘phew!’ and shrugged her shoulders a bit, “Sorry for jumping the gun. I kinda got excited and I probably shoulda asked you first.” “It’s okay,” and in what some would consider emotionless, “I’m excited, too. I can barely contain myself.” “You being sarcastic, man? I mean, seriously, you ain’t mad at me, are you?” “I’m not. I’m just not in the way of … I don’t know, I just,” he stumbled over his words, “I’m just not good with showing what I mean. Last person who talked me on the regular just told me the same thing every night.” “Oh, ok. Fair enough. Mind if I ask about that?” John rolled into the ring and sat in the middle with his legs crossed. He stared up through the branches of the maple tree into the sky. “John, you and me have a lot in common, you know that right? Let me tell you why. You should have seen it. You would have been proud. They didn’t recognize her face after what I did. They said I done it twenty seven times, Johnny, but all I know is that hammer was so caked in the essence of her that it excited me. I got all in them guts that night and she was still warm, you believe that shit? It excites me just talking about it. Makes me feel good inside. I’m touching myself right now, how do you like that, boy? How’s it make you feel? I feel like this vent is a one-way but I know you likes it, Johnny. You and me is kindred spirits. She did me wrong, too, and I made her pay just like you made her pay. Oh, Johnny, I’m so close, why don’t you talk to me, help me finish and whisper sweet nothings into my ear.” John sighed, “I never helped him for fifteen years and then one day he was gone. Every night, he’d say that. And then it was his time. I kind of missed him because no one talked to me much anyway. So I hope you understand that I’m listening and I hear what you say but there just isn’t much to say right now. I like being in this ring right now. I love this sport. And so I think he was wrong in the terms of commonality. You and me share the same passion so I hope that is enough for now. I hope what I shared provides some context to that I mean what I mean and I’m all for this arrangement.” Her expression was odd, somewhere between sympathy (meant for him) and disgust (directed at the other guy), as if she could understand the need for staving off isolation but was no less grossed out by what that other, now dead fucker had subjected her new friend to on the nightly. Mike sighed a bit and shifted her face to something more neutral and finally she nodded in acknowledgment. At least he’d shared something. Progress. Baby steps. And if he said he meant what he said, she’d believe him, 

“Alright. I read you. Anywho, I got a mini gym setup in the garage too. Nothing fancy. Some bags, weights, stuff like that. Mi casa es su casa, mi, fuckin’ train wreck of a training setup es su fuckin’ train wreck of a training setup. Which reminds me, you still got a single coming up. That Malice fucker, if I remember right. You got any idea what you’re gonna say?” “I don’t know. I’m not sure what to say right now. I really don’t want to talk to that guy anymore,”John meant Ace Heart - the lead interview man, “he doesn’t act like the way he does to anyone but me. He keeps asking questions he could answer himself.” “Hm. I don’t like the mustached fucker much either, but just to play devil’s advocate for a sec, maybe he’s frustrated that he’s not gettin’ nothin’ out of you. He’s nice to everybody else cuz they give him what he wants easy, but you’re not like everybody else. Which ain’t a bad thing but is driving him fuckin’ nuts,” she tapped her chin, and fiddled with the brim of her cap, “Got an idea. You don’t wanna deal with him, and I don’t want you dealing with fucking internet trolls. So, why don’t you talk to me instead? I got a phone with decent video. We could do a couple practice runs an’ then give ‘em the real goods. How’s that sound?” “Okay.” Mike directed him to stand in the middle of the ring. She stood on the apron with phone in hand and framed the video so one could see him from the waist up. She pinched in and out on the touch screen before she was satisfied with the shot. “Okay, tell me what you think about your opponent for Friday Night Rampage, Malice?” John looked directly into the camera lenses, “He seems nice.” She turned off the camera, her attempted veneer of professionalism falling by the wayside for the moment, “He’s not fuckin’ nice at all! He’s an asshole! And kind of a weirdo. I mean, I ain't no kinkshamer but I was waitin' for him and his chick to start suckin' on each other's toes or someshit. Eugh. ” “How do you know that? We never met them.” “Do you pay attention to other people’s video spots? He’s always going on about violence and suffering and shit. Not nice.” “I mean, yeah, but, okay, well, he’s not nice. I concede to that point.” She sighed once more, “Okay. Let’s try this again,” she pressed the button on the camera and started recording, repeating her previous question. “Malice …” She leaned forward a bit, a small look of anticipation on her face. “Did you know that an average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 public hairs? I found that interesting.” “No, no!” she cut the camera off again, “Okay. I want you to please give me something fucking… real. Like, REAL real. Not random facts. Not goddamn touting of how nice your opponent is. Something real. You gave me something real in the parking lot. It was raw and uncomfortable but it was fucking REAL and that’s what I want. That’s what people’re wanting out of you. Fuck, it might even be cathartic. Can you do that, Church? Can you give me that?” John simply nodded. “Alright. Third time’s the fuckin’ charm. One, Two… MAKE GOOD TV,”

 she flicked the camera on again. She followed him with the shot as he paced in what she was getting used to as thinking time for the big man. Nearly half a minute past and Mike was about to switch off the camera and call it a day when John finally spoke up. “I’ve been here for just over a month now. I’ve won some and I lost some if you happen to be keeping track. I’m not going away. I thought about it. It would be easy to succumb to what some expect of me. I’ve been thinking a lot about that, too.” John stopped the pacing and then raised a balled fist in front of him. He then raised up his index finger, “Thomas, I heard you loud and clear and maybe if I were inclined to care, I would be devastated that your client got one over me. In hindsight, your sermon on who I am and just what effect your inflammatory statements would have on me were just a little flat. Maybe it had the opposite intended outcome because you don’t know one thing about me other then what you read. But what do I know? I’m not a mind reader.” Two. “Warrior. I have no doubt on what you may not fear. You blustered and puffed out your chest and you emphatically stated what you are. I am a professional wrestler and you are a fighter. You remember who you are and you remember back to that night on what being a fighter did for you.” Three. “Former champion. You made ultimatums. You questioned my dedication to this sport. You underestimated me. And so you have been weighed on the scales and have been found wanting.” Four, however at this point, he closed his hand. Mike zoomed in the camera closer on John’s face. “That, I guess, brings us to the present. The intention to cause pain and suffering; to do evil; ill will. That is pretty accurate. You and me stand at the opposite ends of the spectrum. However, you do not stand before me for judgment. I will not don the white hat that evening. I do however want you to understand that I do not share your willingness to do harm unto others. This is a sport and with your intentions you are a man out of time. You are a ruthless mercenary and you’ll do anything to survive the day.” He snapped his fingers. “Wake up from that day dream. The darkness that permeates every fiber of your being does not make me falter. I got biblical a little earlier and so maybe I hope you can understand this,” he cleared his throat, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. I think someone like you believes in that whether you want to admit it or not. The wounds you accumulate and bestow are what you perhaps consider a character building experience. I’ve been stuck on it, too. The thing is, and believe me, I’m not entirely sold on the idea of a higher power but your idea of suffering is pointless. There is no reason to suffer if not for faith. Maybe not faith in a traditional sense but you know the idea of believing that there is a core set of values that tell you to love one another. That suffering eventually means something. I know what you bring and it amounts to nothing. So bring that value to a ring very much like this one.” He pointed down towards the canvas. “And get that if you go outside of the constraints of the rules, you will eventually lose and your suffering will be for nought. Glory is your God and you have repeatedly disappointed Him. Don’t take my unwillingness to live up to the moniker of this company as not being cut out for it. And on the flip side, don’t take as it a declaration of superiority. It’s just who I am. What I am capable of doing with my hands may be more than enough to sate just what defines you.” John looked past the camera and at Mike. She got the unvoiced cue and turned off the feed. “Something like that?” “Oh my fucking god, YES! Awesome! I’m gonna send that in as is, it’s absolutely perfect,” she grinned from ear to ear, obviously impressed, “Can you do that all the time?” “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t like the idea of just being awful to each other. I just wanted to let them know how I felt. Is that what they want?” “Well… it doesn’t matter what they want, exactly. I’m not asking you to be awful. Just honest.”
 John stared at her blankly and then just slightly his mouth curved into a semblance of a smirk. “I can do that, partner.”

[officialjkhogan]

STRAY: Chapter Eight

STRAY: Chapter Eight

by J.K. Hogan

Noah’s stomach cramped with hunger as he tapped the glass touchpad that controlled the holographic display. He was using the library’s public data-deck to take a practice test for his level twos. If he got the grades he thought he would, he might be able to escape his almost certain future of working in a factory or a plant, and instead become an engineer. Level two proficiencies were the highest level of education for everyday citizens—doctors, for instance, went on to level threes. Noah knew from his history lessons that back in the days of brick-and-mortar schools, level twos were referred to as “university.”

He sipped bitter coffee that someone had left sitting on the machine, obviously having forgotten about it while it was being filled. Gods, he was hungry. He hadn’t made many sales at the Bazaar last Tuesday, and a couple of his regular customers had stopped coming around, so he had literally five dollars to his name at the moment. He just had to manage not to starve to death before he took the tests, then he could get a decent job and find an actual place to live and, like, food and stuff.

At least he had a current roof over his head, as undesirable as it was. And crashing with Cousin Tom was definitely undesirable. Being a dealer meant that Tom had a revolving door for customers at any time of the day or night, and they were always eyeballing Noah real creepy-like. Sometimes even Tom did. Noah had gotten used to living with the hunted feeling, that need to constantly be on his guard and look over his shoulder. He always felt like there was someone just around the corner, waiting to grab him—be it Tom’s addict friends, stalkers on the street like that one time years ago when the blond guy saved him, or even goons from his parents’ church-cult, deciding they were going to force him to join after all. He’d never, ever felt at ease. Well, only once. With that guy. Whose name, irritatingly, he couldn’t ever seem to remember.

Noah had been avoiding going back to Tom’s, because the way the man looked at him had been making him increasingly uncomfortable. Sure, they were family—at least, he thought they were. He’d only met Tom after his parents had dumped him. They ran in the same circles, and Tom approached him one day, saying that he was the son of Emmy Cowan’s estranged brother. Noah had been so desperate for any kind of connection to another human being that he hadn’t questioned it. Still, occasionally Tom’s stare became sort of possessive, and even…predatory. Sometimes.

Noah scored nearly perfect on the practice test before his hunger started making him lightheaded. He had two more days until the Bazaar opened again, but he’d starve before then. He had no other choice but to back home—not that it was his home—and find someone to blow for a twenty. There were always some tweaked-out druggie closet-cases around to hit up. They consumed more when they got off, so it was lucrative for both Noah and Tim. As much as he hated doing it, Noah refused to let himself feel ashamed. It was survival, pure and simple.

As he walked home later, Noah passed by Sanctuary just like he did every time he went to the library. And each time, he remembered the masked man who suggested there might be a job for Noah inside. Hell, the guy probably just wanted Noah to come in because he thought he was pretty. It had been a nice fantasy, but Noah didn’t believe a word of it. It was rare for businesses to have enough capital to employ an in-house engineer to keep their tech up and running. Still, every time Noah walked by, he wondered if he’d given up before he even tried.

Tom lived in a ramshackle house on the edge of a former residential district that hadn’t survived the last purge. No one had bothered to claim the land and redevelop, so people like Tom and his ilk had colonized it, squatting in buildings in various stages of disrepair. The front door rocked on its hinges as Noah swung it open to reveal stained tan carpeting and puke green walls that were peeling enough to expose the sheetrock beneath the paint. The sickly sweet smell of ganja was a physical cloud in the hallway, so Noah followed it into the dark den with its blackout curtains and psychedelic tapestries.

Tom lounged on the threadbare couch with two men who were obviously sampling the wares, and a woman was asleep—or unconscious—in the recliner that hadn’t reclined since they’d found it on the side of the road. Tom looked over and gave him an oily grin.

“Eyy, Noah, my dude! Have you been at the fuckin’ library this whole time?”

With a sigh, Noah half sat, half fell into the only empty chair left. “Yep. Killed my practice test though. I’ll be ready for my level twos. I only came home because…I got hungry.”

Tom took a sip of his lager and eyed Noah for a moment, before jerking his chin at the guy to his left. “I’m sure Adam here can help you out.”

Noah’s stomach rebelled, and he had to swallow down the urge to vomit air—because that’s all he had in his stomach—but a guy had to eat. At least Adam was somewhat attractive, built like a tank, with a razor-sharp jawline and a crooked nose, but he also looked like he could get mean with very little provocation.

“My cuz here needs some work to make a little extra cash,” Tom said to Adam. Some kind of silent communication must have happened to inform Adam just exactly what kind of work Tom meant, because Adam gave Noah a long onceover and licked his lips.

Fuck. The guy was definitely down for it, and Noah should be happy because he would get to eat but, fuck. Noah stood up and headed for the door, looking over his shoulder and raising a brow until Adam got the picture and followed him. As he climbed the stairs, with Adam’s fingers brushing the top of his ass, Noah hated himself just a little bit more.

****

Tonight I am a creature. A man but not a man. Who dreams of nothing but murder.

****

Tuesday, the Bazaar was swamped. Noah sold half the inventory he’d brought from the crypt, and he should have been flying high on the accomplishment, his full belly, and the wad of cash in his pocket, but he was just…numb. All he could think of was the feeling of Adam’s beefy hands on his skull, pulling his hair, and Noah wondered why he did it.

He had no one. No family, not really, no real friends, only people who seemed to want to use him, so why the hell did he fight so hard not to starve. Why didn’t he save himself the trouble, and his jaw the strain, and just go fall off a bridge somewhere.

Shaking his head, he stuffed his remaining tech into his duffel. How fucking melodramatic. He’d never been suicidal…not really. Honestly, he’d always felt like there was something just offstage, waiting in the wings, something that he was meant to do but couldn’t quite see the full picture yet. Some days it was the only thing that kept him from knotting sheets together.

He piled up his boxes and crates behind an old food stand from the bygone days of the amusement park and hoped no one would steal them before next Tuesday. The back of his neck prickled as he bent to pick up his duffel, so he spun around and scanned the almost empty Bazaar. There was no one near. No one, except for a big white cat.

This time, the coincidence of seeing the cat again made Noah’s hair stand on end. He was half convinced he’d been hallucinating the creature this whole time. His fingers clenched on the leather strap of his bag, but he tried to act like he wasn’t afraid he was losing his mind.

“Hey, there, um…cat. I don’t know how you keep finding me. In fact, I’m ninety-five percent sure I’m seeing things. I’m surprised you haven’t gone home by now. Hell, I’m surprised you’re still alive.” Noah scrubbed his hands over his face, then shook his head. “I’m surprised I’m still talking to a gods-be-damned cat.”

The creature meowed, then slinked over and wove its way between and around Noah’s legs, leaving long white hairs all over his jeans. He brushed off the denim-myolene blend and glared at the cat. “Yeah, thanks for that.”

The cat purred and let out another plaintive moan.

“Ugh… I know that look too well. You’re hungry, yeah? All right, then, follow me. Today, we eat like princes.”

Eating like princes for Noah meant one of the mobile kitchens that frequented the park. He ordered some falafel, with curry chicken and rice, and hauled it all over to a picnic table. He sat down on the table part, while bracing his feet on the bench. Inexplicably, the cat followed him like it thought it was people. With a sigh, Noah spread out a napkin and spooned some chicken onto it for the cat, who eagerly wolfed it down, snarling a little as it chewed.

“Easy, killer,” he said with a laugh. “Don’t choke. Damn, you must’ve been starving. Been there, pal. Hey, at least you found a generous benefactor to keep you in curry, and you didn’t even have to blow anybody to get money.”

As if it understood, the cat froze. It stopped eating and stared at him, blinking slowly. It sat back on its haunches, ignoring the food, and waited, as if it expected him to continue. Embarrassed about talking to a cat, Noah gave an agitated wave of his hand.

“It’s nothing. When you’re homeless, you do what you need to do to get by. Every day I see people who are way worse off than me, so I try not to complain.”

The cat padded closer, curling up and pressing against the side of Noah’s thigh, purring. Noah stroked its back, running his fingers through the soft fur, and felt the knobby bumps of its spine as it arched up to chase his touch. Looking down at the cat, Noah noticed something he’d never seen before—a flash of black on the inside of its ear.

“Hey, what’s this?” he asked, as if the cat was going to answer him. He swiped a finger along the pink, paper-thin skin of the cat’s inner ear. It was ink. A tattoo. He knew that animals were often tattooed with ID numbers by shelters, or even their owners, but this marking was unusual. It was a glyph of a small, five-pointed crown. Beneath it, letters spelled out a word he didn’t recognize. “I wonder what this means. Basti.”

When he said it, the cat whipped his head around to stare up at him, and it let a garbled little growl. It sounded so disgruntled that Noah had to laugh. Obviously at some point, someone had cared about this cat enough to mark it, but he’d seen it on the streets too many times for it to be anything other than a stray.

“Is that your name, then? Basti? It’s cute.”

The cat narrowed its eyes, exhaled sharply through its nose, then mewed and went back to the curry chicken. That, apparently, was that.

While Basti inhaled his food, Noah ate at a more sedate pace, savoring the feeling of, for once, not being hungry. He looked at the cat, who in turn watched him. It was lithe and willowy, but not skinny. Its bones didn’t protrude past its thick coat, so it had to be fed with some regularity.

“I wonder where you normally get your food,” Noah said before he could quell the impulse. He sighed, setting down his now-empty food carton. “I know I must seem like some freaky stranger who speaks to you as if you were human, in a language you couldn’t possibly understand but…I don’t have many people—or animals, I guess—in my life, so I just can’t help myself. You’re safe.” Noah didn’t know if he meant that the cat was safe for him to talk to, or that the cat was safe with him. Maybe both.

“I have to go home. It will be dark soon.” The last place he wanted to be was Tom’s, but it wasn’t safe on the streets at night. “You should go on back to wherever you normally sleep and eat. Trust me, where I’m going isn’t anywhere you want to be.”

Noah tossed their trash into a nearby agri-dump receptacle, and set off west, toward Tom’s. The cat jumped down from the picnic table and followed. Noah sighed heavily, because with his work done and his belly finally full, all he wanted to do was lie down on his lumpy mattress and sleep for a week.

“Shoo! Get out of here! Trust me, you don’t want to go where I’m going.”

Basti grumbled and sat back on his haunches. As Noah continued through the rapidly darkening park, he pretended he didn’t know the precocious feline was still following him.

#gay romance #gay fantasy #m/m romance #m/m fantasy #m/m paranormal #m/m dystopian #stray #chapter #writing #m/m paranormal romance

[mykastory]

It’s over.

Where’s my happy ending?

Not here.

It’s over.

I can’t believe it’s over.

And in the most fucked up, 황당한 way ever.

About a month and a half ago, we were over at a friend’s place for game night when all of a sudden, one of our friends G got pissed for seemingly no reason and wanted to leave. I asked him what was wrong and he says,

“You.”

?!?!?!

Now this guy is kinda..... unique. He’s super smart in certain ways but also the “nerdy gamer type.” He wouldn’t tell me what he was pissed about and just stormed out.

The rest of our friends and I tried to figure out what had happened but no one could and they reassured me that he had done this before with some of them but that he would probably get over it and apologize.

After that night, I talked to his girlfriend and she said that I can be a bit “intense” and “aggressive” sometimes... She gave this example of this one time that I said, “Sit down, bitch!” to her on the subway when I was 양보해줘ing the seat to her... The context here is that G had kept saying that to her that night so I was just imitating him... but she didn’t get that and of course dumbass me didn’t even recall saying this to her until later and I never got the chance to explain... ㅠㅠ

Either way, I reached out to G to apologize,

“I just want to apologize if my actions and words were aggressive to you. I know sometimes I do try to be a bit meaner like you guys are when you’re joking around with each other but maybe it just comes out weird or I’m doing it wrong... I’m really sorry. I didn’t know it bothered you so much and I will definitely work on refraining from making comments like that... blah blah blah.... I hope you know it doesn’t come from a bad place and I totally respect you... blah blah... I feel really horrible that it got to a point to make you fed up with me and I hope we can talk and work things out.” (blah blahs are stuff taken out for anonymity).

To which he replied,

“I realized what the core of the issue might be. I think we’ve learned that it’s not always easy to see the line between playful teasing and bullying but I think I have some insights that might be useful.”

He went on to list these things...

- Teasing his gf for not drinking. (one time that I remember... S and I bought a round of shots for everyone and despite me saying that G’s gf didn’t drink, he bought her one anyway. When she didn’t finish, I said, “‘***, lame!” But that was it. No shit.)

- Stopping a friend from napping at a party when she was exhausted. (I was just trying to include her and wanted to get to know her better... Besides, who sleeps at a house party?!)

- Joking about S being an inadequate partner. (인정... I wanted validation because whenever I addressed actions that upset me, he would never understand or 인정 so I thought if I brought it up amongst friends and they chided him for it, he would understand... I know, not the best move. That’s why 인정.)

- Bemoaning G for playing his favorite game. (It. was. a. joke. We had a shoot together the day before and it was basically filming him playing a buncha games. The game night was the day after that so when I walked in and found him playing the same game, by himself, when everyone else was talking to each other and socializing, I jokingly said, “Hey G, didn’t you get enough of that yesterday? Haha.” And that’s what pissed him off....)

And then he goes on to say that for the guys, “trash talk is mutual... blah blah... A battle for social status might be appropriate in a HS or college setting but seems unnecessary and unfun among friends in their 30s... But that’s just me. If you feel that I’m being overly sensitive, I’m happy to accept and move on.”

Wtf?!

I know I can be mean sometimes, but wanting the “power” (S’s interpretation of the words... He had been the one trying to make me more like one of the guys so I could be invited to guy’s night which mostly consists of going to PC bang to play FPS games which I love but I was always excluded because it was only something that happened when the other girls weren’t there cuz they don’t like playing PC games...) could not be further from the truth.

Regardless, I tried to apologize again and thanked him for bringing this to my attention because if he really felt I was a bully and “everyone else thinks so, too,” according to him, then it must be true.

“I can see now.... I want to fix this... I appreciate you addressing the issue because it’ll help me analyze the dynamic to understand what’s okay and what’s not... I hope in the future if anything like this happens again, you feel comfortable enough to pull me aside and let me know how you feel before it gets to a point where you’re so fed up that you explode.”

He never texted back and I was feeling so wretched about the whole thing that S and I decided to go visit my uncle to get away from the city with my family.

We talked about the incident while we were there, and he was trying to piece together how my actions may have come off as bullying and we spent some time trying to distinguish between “bullying” and “teasing.” Other than that, we had a relaxing time and had to come back home before going to 산소 on Saturday.

On the way back home from 산소, we dropped off my parents at their house and were on our way back home when A calls S. He asked to hang out but we had to go home because of the dogs. To this, he says,

“Well, both of you don’t have to go...”

Wtf man.... that’s some messed up shit. But A was on speakerphone and I told him to go cuz you know how A is about that kind of stuff.

S thinks that A wants to talk about what happened, and surprise, surprise G is with A, too. So I drop him off to meet them and I go home.

Before this, I hadn’t shown S any of the texts between me and G because I didn’t want to get him involved and feel like he had to play middle man, but he wanted to at least see the last text I had sent, for reference, so I showed him before he went to go meet them.

He texted me while he was with them, at first, telling me not to worry and that he’ll 잘 얘기해줘 for me, but when he got home, he didn’t really seem to want to talk about it.

We ended up talking the next morning and he tried to help me understand G’s perspective. Basically, G thought I was a master manipulator, power hungry sociopath but he didn’t want to have anything to do with it. G also took the fact that I hadn’t shown S our text chain to use to say I was manipulating S and withholding facts. WTF?! Regardless, S said he’d help me get through this and we were supposed to have dinner at his mom’s house but he understood if I wasn’t up for it.

I didn’t end up going to his mom’s place and tried to sleep before he came home because I still felt like such a wreck from the whole G situation and was majorly depressed because it broke my heart to think that all my so-called “friends” thought I was some power-hungry mean girl...

I used to be a cheerleader in HS and they think of me as the former mean girl, but that’s so far from the truth because I was bullied so damn hard and always made it a point to reach out to others who were being bullied or were in need of love... But of course none of them know this shit. Well, A does but hell would freeze over before he took my side after all the shit that happened.

The next morning I woke up to hear him leaving the house to walk the dogs and he left me a text saying that I should eat something and that he wanted to talk when he got back.

I was still seriously depressed and I wasn’t quite ready to talk... And I hadn’t checked the message before he came back so when he DID get back, I was still in the room and he texts me suddenly in this cold ass tone saying,

“You can’t avoid this. You have a decision to make and I will not wait forever.”

Something along those lines. I erased all our messages, since, so I can’t write it down verbatim like I usually do.

I didn’t know where this hostility and coldness came from all of a sudden and I asked him why he was talking like that to which he kept robotically responding,

“Like I said, I won’t wait forever. You must make a decision.”

Wtf? I had absolutely no idea what decision he was talking about as there was absolutely no context there and I was so hurt by his sudden change of attitude... This went on for about 20 texts and I ended up leaving the house because I was so upset and couldn’t get through to him.

I was gone for about 3 nights? First 2 nights I stayed at a motel near the house and then the third night I wanted a change of pace (place?) so moved to a different motel...

I had been keeping in touch with my sister and BIL during this situation and BIL called me out that third day to buy me dinner and tell me what happened between him and S because S had called him to talk.

Basically, BIL got super pissed at S and almost walked out on him a couple times because he said S was sounding completely like a robot and nothing seemed to get through to him. He said S wasn’t making any sense and was saying all these ridiculous things that BIL was so close to smacking him upside the head but he prayed a lot and 참았어 and tried to talk some reason into him but to no avail.

The next day, I got chased out of the room by a damn cockroach UGH GROSS. My sister told me S had called her and wanted to talk to her, too, and told me to go home and try to talk to him after she talked to him.

When they talked, she tried to be on his side but told me that it was super frustrating and that she wanted to scold him several times for being a child but prayed and 참았어 a lot too. She tried to be as compassionate as possible and sent him home telling him that I would be there, waiting for him, and I told him the same via text.

When he got home...

I actually don’t remember...

What I do remember is that over the next three days, he basically tried to “help me realize what was wrong with me” and get to the “root cause” of what my problem was. He wanted to “see if I was capable of change” and that if I “continue down this road, I can’t go with you. I’m fully prepared to be the asshole in your family’s eyes and leave you.”

This consisted of him interrogating me on why I did the things that I did to our friends and getting me to see how I manipulated him and our relationship. Whenever he asked me a question about some of my behaviors, nothing I said seemed to satisfy him. I tried to relate back to an example where our situation was flipped around and we were in each others’ shoes, to which he would keep deflecting back to me, saying,

“We’re talking about you right now. Not me. We can get to me later.”

I asked if we can work on mending our relationship, but even to that,

“Not now. We can get to that later.”

Super frustrating.

(I later found out that he was using the “detect a covert aggressor” clues and was using these questions as a trigger to try and get responses that satisfied him... But, fuck, it was already apparent that he made up his mind about me and that he used this as a guise to “try everything in my power to make things right with her.” 뻑이나...)

After a lot, a lot, a LOT of talking and crying (me, not him), he finally broke me and got me to admit that maybe I was a horrible person that thought I was better than everyone else and that’s why I looked down on his friends.

There’s a certain amount of truth there, and I was broken enough to expand on it in a hypothetical. I never really thought of them as MY friends. They were HIS friends, before they were mine. Plus, there was all that shit that happened with A, which resulted in me treating him not so nice sometimes, and I know that’s bad and not very God-loving of me. I honestly just thought of them all as my little 후배s because they kinda were... S’s friends and by extension, my 후배s...  I admitted to all of this and my conclusion was that I needed to make things right and that I also need God back in my life to learn to love others around me more rather than judge

Despite my “breakthrough,” he didn’t understand or agree to the need for God and brought this up as another “issue” and wasn’t sure if he was “okay” with this being my conclusion.

At that point, I was so broken and depressed that all I could think of was suicide.

I wondered if it would be better to jump out the window or from the roof... Or if I should just take a buncha pills...

I realized, then, that I had to get out of there before doing anything I truly regret and can’t reverse.

I told him I needed to go home to clear my head a bit and he agreed.

When I got home, I was basically dead.

I had barely eaten for the past week and my mom said I looked like a walking corpse...

My sister and BIL tried to help me through a lot of it and told me that I should try to work things out with him and admit to what I did wrong, but be careful not to apologize for anything that I DIDN’T do.

Which is exactly what I did.

Of course, I did a lot of soul searching, too. The thing that I remember the most is that my BIL said to be true to who I am. Which is so important, now that I realize... I was always sitting around, waiting for S to notice me and trying so hard to be the one for him that I completely 무시했어 myself and who I am. I was basically a fuckin pushover, and my unhappiness there came out in other areas.

S came by to talk to me once or twice, but when I tried to address that realization I had, it was met, again, with the same response;

“This isn’t about me. It’s about you.”

He also met with my sister a couple times, and she said that it seemed like he was changing every day.... Like her words would get through to him, but then be pushed back... 계속 back and forth, basically.

In our talks during and after that, he talked about:

- How I made him feel bad for going out to meet his friends when he had no reason to feel bad (we would be on our way home after work and had plans to eat and whatever but then his friends would call for a “guys night” WHY ALWAYS A GUYS NIGHT?! and despite me telling him to go and that I would love to have the house to myself, he would feel bad for going but blame his feeling bad on me.)

- He never wanted to get married in the first place and that’s why he was probably pushing off the wedding. (This one really pissed me off more than anything because I’ve always, from day one, been so cautious not to force him to do ANYTHING because I didn’t want him 원망해ing me for it. I ended a friendship with one of my best friend’s for forcing him to think about how he feels about me!!  And now he’s saying that I forced him into this relationship?! When a year ago he was telling me that, no matter what, even if it’s the smallest of the smallest, he wants to “give me a wedding”?!)

- I wasn’t supportive enough in his businesses and when he told me he was worried about having to start over in the US (we were supposed to move back after the RR failed but then he wanted to try out his PP so we built that together but that ALSO failed) I told him that it was just cold feet. All this made him question himself and he realized that he couldn’t make his own decisions or trust his own gut, and that was my fault. (REALLY?! Sitting countless hours at the store with him, paying for EVERYTHING, putting aside everything I wanted to fit his needs, and he has the gall to tell me that I wasn’t supportive enough and that I made him doubt himself?! He doesn’t think any of this doubt has to do with the fact that his past THREE businesses failed, first one of which was with A, and he left because A was a “manipulative 개새끼,” his words. And now he was saying that A is such a good friend to him???)

- He felt I “lied by omission” in not telling him how Christian my family was. He knew I was, but when we went to 산소 and were 찬양 and 예배드려ing he said he felt really uncomfortable and realized how lonely he would be if I made all these Christian friends in the US. (DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKING LONELY I FELT IN THAT GODLESS GROUP WITH ALL YOUR NON-CHRISTIAN FRIENDS?! INCLUDING THE FUCKER THAT WAS ALWAYS TRYING TO WEDGE A NAIL BETWEEN US THAT YOU NOW CALL A BEST FRIEND?!)

As the talks evolved, basically what he wanted from me was to admit that I had “emotionally abused him.”

His words. Not mine.

“Physical abuse is a lot easier, cuz you can see the scars. Emotional abuse is not as clear cut.’

I told him that I probably wasn’t as loving and supportive as I could have been. We were both at our worst and in a horrible, difficult situation, and we both needed to address these problems.

“Nope. I need you to admit that you manipulated and emotionally abused me.”

I admitted to the manipulation. I had to. Because the way he saw it, “Short of anything illegal, you’ll do anything to get your way.”

In part, it’s true.

Because to him, manipulation, in any shape or form, is bad.

Hiding vegetables in a meal to force your kid to eat vegetables?

Just as bad as having someone co-sign a loan that you know you won’t pay back.

According to him.

Plus, I sat around waiting for him because I felt he was the one, no matter how hard and depressing it was...

So I admitted it.

But what I couldn’t admit was the emotional abuse.

After admitting to the manipulation, though, he seemed to feel a bit better. He told me that “they” had diagnosed me as a covert aggressor.

To very, very briefly summarize, it’s a person who uses these tactics to inadvertently manipulate a person. Tactics such as minimizing fault (it’s not that big a deal) or putting the example back on the other person... Honestly, it sounded like such bullshit to me. He used the SAME “tactics” on me, but how does that make me the only covert aggressor?!

“Just because a person checks off some boxes in a column doesn’t mean that person is what it says. You check off a lot of the sociopath boxes, but that doesn’t make you one, does it?”

I said to him. To which he replied,

“We’re not talking about me right now.”

UGH!!!

After I confronted him with my thoughts on this “theory,” he said he felt like I was regressing and this wasn’t going to go anywhere, and finally said,

“I want a divorce.”

During this time, I had asked him to go a marriage counselor because I absolutely did not agree with a lot of the things he was saying and I really felt like we needed an unbiased, third party professional, but he said he would only do that if A was the third party.

WTF?!?!?!? How is he an unbiased third party?!?!?!

Sigh.

So yeah. That was that.

“Ok.”

I was fucking broken and didn’t have the strength or grace to argue.

A week later, we were at the court house to file for divorce.

A month later we were there to finalize it.

You know what's even more ridiculous?

After we finalized the divorce, we came out of the court house and he asked to go get coffee. I really didn’t want to but ended up going because he kept saying he didn’t want things to end this way.

After some small talk, he says,

“We had a good run though, yeah? Lotta fun times.”

“Really? Despite all that emotional abuse?”

“...”

그치... 할말 없지 개새끼야...

And then he says,

“A really misses you...”

“I’ll believe that if he ever says it to me.”

S had suggested I talk to A about the whole situation to “recognize the severity” of it when all this was happening, so I did.

A basically said I could be mean sometimes (I know... I was intentionally mean to him cuz he was an asshole...) and that he was really upset when I first started dating S because we were seeing each other at the time.

NO WE WERE NOT!!!

I was dating JH and he was dating this other girl (which he actually lied to me about for quite some time) so I had no idea wtf he was talking about but I was still broken, now submissive me at the time, so I just let it go.

He also said he still loves me and will accept me as I am, blah blah... but funny thing is he never talked to me again after that...

I also talked to G during all that to show S I was making amends and he went on and on saying that he didn’t feel I was truly sorry because he doesn’t believe a word I say and that he thinks I’m a social mastermind manipulator (HA! I wish! That’s A, not me!) and he’s scared of me...

Left me speechless... I’m a master manipulator for “bemoaning” about you playing games and not wanting a friend I’ve been asked to get close with to sleep? How am I the master manipulator and not A?!

Anyway, that was that... and I haven’t heard from S since.

Actually, he called me about 2 weeks ago at 3 in the morning... twice... I didn’t pick up and he sent a message saying he was at the empty store and was reminiscing so he called...

I messaged him back the next morning to apologize for missing his calls and a little small talk went back and forth but that was it.

Apparently he also called my sister right before the divorce, saying I was a bitch for taking my family away from him. He also met with her to “warn her because she would likely be my next ‘victim.’” (Another thing I addressed to him during our talk right after the divorce was finalized and to which he was unable to say a thing). This all happened before our divorce was finalized, but

WTF are you serious?!

Ugh.

I haven’t seen or heard from any of them since then, with the exception of, funnily enough, A’s gf. She was the only other Christian in the group and we were really starting to bond until this shit hit the fan and she messaged me not long after asking how I was doing and that we should meet up before I leave to the states.

I also talked to another friend (AC - he also used to be friends and worked with A until A tried to undermine him and steal his contacts/ work -_-) about what happened. I had to tell him what happened because of work stuff and he was so shocked by the story but not too shocked cuz he always thought they were a weird group of people and that they were incels..... New word I learned but totally made sense to me because when I tried to tell S at the beginning that I felt that if I was a guy, none of this shit (”bullying” him and his friends - something he TOLD me to do if I wanted to be one of the guys and that he  called “teasing” until all this was brought up) would have happened, but he disagreed and said my view of the world is skewed... But it was pretty damn validating to hear that from AC and he helped me feel a lot better about the situation.

My family was also super supportive during the time and I’m so grateful for that.

But anyway, that’s the story of my divorce.

Fuck.

I’m divorced.

It sucks but I learned a lot from the experience. How unhappy I was, how underappreciated I felt and how that came out in the most horrible ways (angry drunk... I didn’t realize this until now but I was never an angry drunk until I met him... So I kinda understand why his friends saw me this way because they’ve seen the worst, drunken side of me that’s really embarrassing, but they don’t know me like S does... Or how I thought he did...). How important it is to marry a fellow believer...

I also realized I’m a LOT happier now that he’s out of my life.

It’s like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

No more having to deal with his “wouldn’t this be a great business idea?” at every little freaking thing or his “ugh. affection. ew. that’s so not me” bullshit. Even when we first fell in love, he would look at me and say, “Fucking mykastory...” And not having to worry about spending most of my paycheck on rent for the store!

I need someone who loves me as much as I love them and actually KNOWS what it means to love.

It doesn’t mean abandoning someone in their time of need - I REALLY needed him by my side during this time, but he wasn’t there for me or willing to budge. Never once apologized for a thing during this whole ordeal.

The biggest thing I realized is that I shouldn’t missionary date/ marry and that he never really knew who I was because we never connected, spiritually. Also, he only had the capacity to love himself. No one else. He always came first and didn’t understand the meaning of sacrifice.

He will forever be the person who broke my heart and bounced.

But good riddance.

I’m better off without you.

I thought this blog was over but I guess it lives on...

#divorce #betteroffwithoutyou #goodriddance

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 10: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: And his uncle Benjamin who gets eaten by a cannibal! And he's just so angry.

O: [Laughter] Can you blame him?

[Intro Music Plays]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs.  

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 10: War of the Dinobots. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Mm-hmm

O: So, we open with Chip viewing a ‘dangerous’ meteor through a telescope.

S: We got our boy, Chip, back!

O: I’m glad, he's- Chip’s a good boy.

S: He's the best! He's the best human so far.

O: Yeah.

S: I think he will continue to be the best human-

O: I have a hard time picking between him and Raoul, to be honest.

S: Yeah.

O: I really like Raoul but I also really like Chip so I have a hard time picking. And like, I feel like Raoul might win just ever so slightly because I like him and Tracks together more but Chip still- he's up there. He's like my second favorite, if nothing else.

S: We need both of them and Carly to show up in an episode in some new series

O: I know!  And they never do in G1 which is really disappointing because, like, I like all these characters but we never actually- like, I think we get to see Chip and Carly interact and we get to see like Chi- oh, not Chip-

S: Spike and Raoul?

O: Spike and Carly, and Chip and Spike but I don't think we really get to see a lot of the other ones interact.

S: Yeah.

O: Which is a pity. Anyway, Chip calls the Autobots because they’re ones who can save the Earth from this meteor, apparently?

S: Nevermind that it apparently lands more or less safely but who the hell cares? Spike is chilling in Optimus’s cab on a ride to the obs- observatory, you know, like a- like teenage boys do.

O: No worries, dad, I'm not going out drinking and driving! I'm just gonna ride in my giant alien robot friend! Optimus’ burning conviction to save the earth once he, ah, you know, figures out what's going on shines through as he clenches his fist and it's covered with red electricity!

S: How very anime of you, Optimus.

O: Indeed. Uh, Optimus decides they need to get to the meteor before the Decepticons do because it might be a power source. Apparently. And opts to take the Dinobots as back up.

S: I don't think they thought this through. At all?

O: [Laughter] I don’t think they did either!

S: Meanwhile, Megatron totally rages against the machine.

O: Or at least the fact of the Dinobots kicked their ass.

S: [Laughter] Yeah. So it's Tuesday night- time for Starscream and Megatron's weekly tiff.

O: Of course! Megatron insults Starscreams’ strategies and orders Soundwave to find the Dinobots weak points.

S: You know, as one does.

O: Of course.

S: Soundwave flies off to spy on the Dinobots.

O: Slash Autobots.

S: Yes, the Autobots, sorry.

O: Which, of course, means he lands near them. And then Soundwave, a giant 30-foot tall robot, does this by sneaking against the side of a building. It is great.

S: Oh, I feel we should probably mention that the meteor, like, lands in, like, the middle of this sort of bombed out looking town which is across the river from a perfectly ordinary looking town, or whatever.

O: Did I miss that part where it was across the river?

S: There's a bridge or something I think? Well, it's separated, somehow, I don't remember.

O: Regardless, yeah, it basically landed in this like very bombed out looking place perfectly fine? So I don't know why there was this whole “They've got a save the earth.”

S: Yeah but so, yeah, Soundwave is basically sneaking through ruins.

O: Yes but of course he's still a 30 foot robot so, you know, he sends out a good old listening tentacle.

S: It makes snake sound effects. It's kind of weird.

O: I love it.

S: The Autobots are trying to get a twofer for putting their allies in danger today as they brought along both Chip and Spike.

O: Because that was a good idea. And okay, Soundwave has been beat out for worse naming schemes to fucking Spike. Spike suggests they named the meteorite after Chip as the meteorroni chipperoni?

S:  Meteorini Chiporoni or whatever.

O: Oh god, it's terrible. Anyway, shut up Spike!

S: It's a pretty fucking big meteor, I guess? About the size of Optimus Prime though whether it was bigger when it was- before, you know, burning through the atmosphere is another thing entirely and I mean honestly it probably should have, like, had a crater.

O: Yeah, it really didn’t. Like it might have but it wasn't very deep. Uh, they extract a sample from the meteorite--via shooting at it.

S: Extraction via gun. It's the fastest but definitely not the safest way to do this when you're afraid that goddamn thing is gonna blow up.

O: We don’t know that yet.

S: Well, they keep talking about how it's possibly dangerous soooo.

O: You know, I sometimes question Wheeljack’s science credentials.

S: Except isn’t Optimus shooting the thing? I don’t remember.

O: Maybe it was, but Wheeljack’s the one who asked for a sample.

S: True. And the Dinobots are left behind to guard the meteor, as one does.

O: Of course.

S: Chip describes seeing the Autobots transform as ‘outrageous’!

O: What show does he think he's in? Jem and the Holograms?

S: Well, it could be argued that they’re all in the same universe.

O: [Laughter] We’re not getting into that, but yes!

S: So they just decide to leave their young, impressionable, and not so smart babies behind without supervision to guard the meteor.

O: What could go wrong, am I right?

S: I mean they stick them- they leave them in a closet most of the time so, ok, no one get- no one ever gave them the stranger-danger talk.

O: [Laughter] So true.

S: Seriously, they couldn't leave Wheeljack and/or Ratchet with them? Ratchet? Someone?

O: You would think? I mean, like, clearly they shouldn’t be left here by themselves.  Hence, Optimus despite trying to offline them a few episodes back says he's pleased with the Dinobots and is going to order two more.

S: [Sighs] Their family planning is not good.

O: No, no it’s not. Once back at the base, Chip suggests a Stegosaurus and a Pteranodon for the two new dinos. Ratchet and Wheeljack seem to agree with this.

S: They think it's a hot idea.

O: [Laughter] They just wanna make more babies.

S: Yeah, and Sparkplug asks if there's anything Chip doesn't know about. Spike and Chip just, like, share a look that seems to say, “Good question.”

O: Chip: Resident super genius. Back at the Dinobots, Soundwave continues spying by initiating a brain scan with a scanner that pops out of his head.

S: [Sighs]

O: [Laughter]

S: Because, of course, we've got a- we've got the weird. We've got this listening tentacle and now we’ve got brain scan time. I mean, yeah, okay you're psychic but whatever.

O: I mean, at least we've seen the listening tentacle pop up a few times at this point.

S: This breaks down to Slag wants to fight, Grimlock who wants to be the boss man and Sludge just wants to follow whoever’s strongest cuz apparently, well, he's not good at critical thinking.

O: He’s not.

S: But I don't think any of them are especially good at that. Though we did look at the tech specs and Grimlock is indeed the smartest of them.

O: Or at least in the toys- in the comics that, uh, begs to be seen if that's relevant. If that's the exact same stats here.

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron seems to translate this information slightly differently, with Slag is hostile, Grimlock is arrogant and Sludge is stupid. Poor, poor Sludge.

S: Yeah.

O: The evil plan for today is to use this information to make them fight against Optimus Prime and steal the meteor.

S: So we're just gonna make babies do shit today.

O: I'm gonna go with yes?

S: Yeah, yeah.

O: I remain convinced Megatron has a bling obsession as he is way too damn excited about big shiny rocks.

S: I mean there were those rubies. There was that giant thing in South America. There's these- I feel like there have been more rocks. There's going to be more rocks in the future.

O: Yeah ju- he has a thing for bling. Optimus just needs to get him bling and then propose to Megatron and the war would be over. Just give the man his bling.

S: Yeah.

O: The Seekers attack the Dinobots, who defend themselves.

S: They gave the babies guns, probably with little to no proper training on said weapons because the Autobots are morons.

O: [Laughter] Well, the Autobots just aren't good with Sparklings, me thinks.

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron lands and several things happen all at once. Namely, that Megatron takes three dyno beams/fire to the face with absolutely no issue what-so-fucking-ever. He literally tosses his fusion cannon off to the side, he basically is like, “Why can't we just be friends? I just want to talk to you guys.”

S: The Dinobots fall for Megatron's flattery as he tells them they are stronger than him and stronger than all the other Autobots.

O: Leading Grim to reach the conclusion that, “He, Grimlock should be leader.” Oh you idiots, my poor, poor dumb Dino idiots.

S: Poor Dino babies.

O: They deserve better.

S: And meanwhile the Seekers take off with the meteorite that the Dinobots were guarding. Like, they literally toss out these, like, grappling hook things from their bellies and they latch onto the meteor and it just looks really goofy.

O: Ah, back at base- are ya ready for a montage?

S: We’re ready for a montage!

O: We- we see that plans are underway to build the new Dinobots.

S: God, Sparkplug--is holding a document that says, “outline plan desge.”

O: [Laughter] Someone couldn’t spell design.

S: Or they couldn't fit it and they didn't care. Or they just didn't speak English or something.

O: Or they were, like, nobody will see this. And then DVDs came along and whoops! Making babies though, it's totally something the whole family can enjoy together.

S: [Laughter] Yeah, and Wheeljack calls Optimus to his lab to tell them that the meteorite is unstable as fuck and could literally explode at any second!

O: This is important because we need to show off Trailbreaker’s super-secret awesome ability to create force fields which he promptly uses to contain the conveniently timed explosion that happens immediately after.

S: I mean we saw the force shield stuff when they were off on Cybertron with the acid rain that time, so this isn't exactly a surprise but it's a new use of it.

O: I guess.

S: Because, yeah, he just surrounds the thing and then it blows itself up and that's fine.

O: Everything's fine. The base is fine. Wheeljack is fine. Optimus is fine.

S: There isn't even, like, a smear or whatever. I don’t know. And so, hey! They learned something from the first Dinobot disaster, so no showing off the Dinobots indoors by the Ark [I meant, Teletraan 1. ~Specs] They're gonna show Swoop and Snarl off outside instead of next to freaking Teletraan 1!

O: [Laughter] You know, the thing that controls their entire base.

S: They learned a thing!

O: They did learn a thing! Swoop and Snarl seem to be slightly smarter than their compatriots, with Swoop using a more grammatically correct sentence than we normally hear from a Dinobot.

S: And the new Dinobots are solar powered, at least Snarl is. They probably both are and I guess go back to the intelligence thing apparently Swoop and Snarl have “7” according to their toy tech specs. Well, “7” in intelligence.

O: Which is still more than the other Dinobots, aside from Grimlock, right?

S: Yeah, Grimlock was an “8.” I think Sludge was a “3,” which just makes me sad.

O: Poor Sludge, poor baby.

S: Yeah, not sure about-

O: I just want to give Sludge a hug.

S: Yeah. Not sure about, uh, Slag or Slug. I feel like he was a “5.”

O: Maybe he was.

S: But I don't remember. And- oh god- and then Ratchet and Wheeljack just tell basically everybody to try and take out the Dinobots cause-

O: I'm not! I’m not sure who I think this is being mean to: the Dinobots or to everyone else.

S: Cuz the Dinobots do a number on everyone. Yeah. Sideswipe is super goddamn excited to fight and gets a pretty good punch on Swoop in.

O: Swoop and Snarl pretty much wipe out everybody else, though.

S: Yeah, I think someone gets picked up and dropped and... Yeah, none of the Autobots are having a grand old time. And then Optimus shows up where they left the other three Dinobots, who are now missing along with the meteorite because we saw what happened earlier.

O: Exactly! And we get to see his tiny antenna pop out of his helm as he calls the base. It’s great!

S: The Dinobots then pop out of nowhere and triple-team Optimus. Optimus makes a plea for the Dinobots to stop this but naturally this fails. Um. [clears throat] Optimus is also making strange moaning noises again through this. I wish he would stop. [Laughter]

S: Oh god, I'm not sure how either of us could, like, do the keyboard smashing noise.

O: [Laughter] I- that was. I knew I was gonna have to be the one to say that anyway, so I was just like [incoherent noise]!

S: And so Optimus is knocked on his ass. Like, he's literally knocked into some sort of fissure or something?

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah, um. Well, he’s knocked on his aft or his ass or whatever. Grimlock shows a smidgen of discomfort at the idea of murdering a helpless opponent, because, apparently, he has some sort of honour even though he is a small child- basically, a very young person who has not had a whole lot of, um, moral education.

O: As Optimus puts it when he gets back up, he blathers something about “traces of Autobot training.” [Laughter]

S: What training? You stuffed them in a closet!

O: In the next shot, Grimlock has clearly stolen Optimus’ gun as he reports in to Megatron about Prime’s defeat.

S: Because he literally just has it under his arm?

O: Yeah, he has it. Yeah, yeah, I feel a little weirded out that I can actually tell Prime's gun apart from everybody else’s now, but I can.

S: That's what happens.

O: That’s what happens when you play the freakin PS4 game so much and you end up playing as everybody including Optimus Prime despite only wanting to play as Wheeljack! I actually feel bad because I'm like, Grimlock’s in that one. I love Grimlock. I think I don't like playing as him because he's hard. He's basically constantly swapping between robot mode and Dino mode the entire time. It's kind of a pain in the ass.

S: Hmm.

O:  Elsewhere, we see Megatron overseeing the filling of Energon cubes from the meteor or where they’ve taken the meteor anyway.

S: Yeah, Soundwave is making more Tupperware cubes again and then seems to defy all laws of physics as he shoots the meteorite and, somehow, this causes a flow of energy to fill up the Energon cubes.

O: Despite them being, like, not near each other, it's very strange.

S: Yeah, it’s kind of- kind of kooky.

O: And, for once, Starscream makes an accurate observation that the meteorite energy seems unstable.

S: And Megatron's a dick about it.

O: Of course! Nevermind that Starscream is, in fact, a scientist, but whatever!

S: Then the Dinobots show up dragging Optimus with them, you know, like the dead weight he is right now.

O: [Laughter] Ouch! Uh, Megatron is rather pissed that Optimus isn’t fucking dead.

S: And Starscream says that Grimlock will never destroy Optimus, begging Megatron not to listen to Grim.

O: Give the bot credit, where credit is due- he is on a roll today. Starscream is on a roll today.

S: He is, and Optimus also attempts to tell Megatron that the meteorite’s unstable, so that's two people telling him it's unstable.

O: Yes, Megatron ignores this, too.

S: At the Ark, Wheeljack has tracked down where the Decepticons have taken the meteor and the Autobots send out Snarl and Swoop to help.

O: Megatron’s unstable Energon stash finally explodes sending Reflector and poor Soundwave flying.

S: There were some really funny photos from that.

O: There were, it was pretty great.

S: Mmhmm. And Starscream gives Megatron his best, “I told you so!”

O: [Laughter] Swoop and Snarl show up via flying and Megatron orders the other three Dinobots to transform and attack.

S: The Dinobots fight, Swoop getting the short end of the stick fight-wise because one of his wings gets chomped on.

O: Yeah,

S: At least a few times.

O: It looks painful, poor baby.

S: Poor kid. Like, he's just woken up, he's like-

O: And now his older brothers are chomping on him!

S: He's now an hour old or something.

O: [Laughter] Starscream and Megs flee as the meteorite threatens to explode and Optimus tackles Grimlock out of the way of the explosion.

S: This looks an awful lot like that bit in Fantasia with all the dinosaurs.

O: [Chuckles] Grimlock, understandably, is now pissed at Megatron.

S: And Megatron does the smart thing and orders a retreat to escape the angry t-rex.

O: Angry, big t-rex.

S: Yeah.

O: I'm glad a camera, a cassette and a cassette deck can fly. [Laughter]

S: Yeah, and then the cavalry arrives in the form of the rest of the Autobots. Of course.

O: Of course! And Grimlock apologizes for, you know, trying to kill Optimus.

S: Optimus Prime kind of ignores this apology. It's like, “I'm not forgiving or forgetting,” as sort of an undertone here.

O: Seems like, he’s like, “I'm going to give you some long-winded speech that's not going to address your apology in any way.”

S: Yeah,

O: And that's the end of episode so we're now up to five Dinobots because more is always better when it comes to dinosaurs.

S: Yeah.

O: Join us next time for the beginning of another three parter, The Ultimate Doom, Part 1. Or the episode that third Bay movie was basically based on.

S: Yeah, or the trio of episodes or whatever.

O: Yeah [Laughter].

S: Ok, so we've got the fanfiction recommendations.

O: Yup!

S: Gotta do it, there's only the two of them and they're both by the same person. One of which is a sequel to something that I recommended earlier. Alright, so for a first recommendation we have “Art in Me” by Nightwind. Continuity's G1 cartoon, rated K. It’s Gen, there's no pairings. Our characters are the Dinobots, Prowl, Red Alert, Wheeljack, and Ratchet.

S: Okay, so “Art in Me” is a sequel to a story that Nightwind had written earlier called “Vigil” and so the summary is, “The Autobots might have a budding Picasso on their hands. Who might it be?”

O: [Chuckles]

S: And so our theme for actually both of these recs or recommendations were “Dinobot shenanigans”-

O: Yes!

S: Because we now have all five Dinobots and as, um, I’ve been keeping track of things were in a series or one-shots or whatever, this is a sequel to Vigil, also by Nightwind.

S: And our second recommendation- there's only the two of them today- is Crosses to Bear, as I have said before, also by Nightwind. G1 cartoon continuity, it's rated T. It's Gen, there's no pairings. Our characters are the Dinobots and various Autobots. And in summary, “It’s Swoop and a few other crazy Autobots versus a really big chunk of rock with Track's life hanging in the balance. Rating upped a bit to due to Trailbreaker’s gratuitous use of a certain expletive.”

S: Expletive. God.

O: Expleti- Expletive.

S: [Laughter] A certain curse word!

O: There you go!

S: Okay, and yeah. Dinobot shenanigans and that's the two fanfiction recommendation. Do we have fan art recommendations?

O: No, it’s an even numbered episode.

S: Ah.

O: Well, we’ll have fan art next week, though!

S: Yep.

O: Well, next episode, not next--we post every two weeks but you know what I mean.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort at Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, Stitcher and YouTube, just to name a few. Till next time!

S: I'm Specs!

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music Plays]

#g1 episode 10 #transcript #afterspark podcast

[chckpeas]

Entry 4. Les fruit défendus sont les meilleurs.

Posted and finished writing this on the 13th of January, 2019. Isn’t it fucking typical that I happen to like someone who has commitment issues or whatever. Oh, and happens to be nine years older which is wrong in so many ways. It’s funny how if I stayed in one place a little longer or did one thing differently, I probably would have never encountered you -- which may have been for the best. I’ve had a lot of doubts posting this entry but I decided to say fuck it and just do it. This will be my last ‘exposé’/post about someone for now, so no worries other people that happen to know me, I won’t post about y’all -- I mean unless you do some rly fucked up shit to me.

So, when I met you I was at a party and I had lost my friend group so I decided to stand on this plateau on the dance floor. As soon as I arrived at the group I noticed this tall guy staring at me for quite some time. I tried to like put out my best moves on the dancefloor as I saw you approach me haha. My friend tried to like push you away as you grabbed hold of me to talk to me. I remember what your fuckboy ass said to me, that I was ‘one of the most beautiful girls in this room’. Yea right, I scoffed as it’s complete bullshit and super cringe-worthy. 

Anyways, you offered to buy me a drink and I can’t say no to that of course -- it’s a rule of mine, I never buy actual drinks when I go out. We talked and then I dragged your stiff german ass on the dancefloor and decided to make out with you. Uhm, this part was probably very awkward for bystanders as you pushed me against a pole and started to like kiss my neck and shit. We ended up going somewhere more quiet and you continued turning me tf on, you knew it as you are pretty experienced.

However, I was so not gonna go home with you, for several reasons. Reason number one being, I was gonna go to experience number 2 -- remember him. Reason number two being, I had to wake up early. And reason number three being, I don’t like the concept of one night stands. I gave you my number -- haha #carmenORGIE -- and you promised that you would cook for me sometime and give me a massage. Subtly is not something you have well under control.

Well, I followed through on that decision a few days later cuz yea I thought you were hot. What I did fail to mention that at this point in time I wasn’t very experienced or in other words, I was a half-virgin -- how can I be a half-virgin, mmh a story for another time. I do think virginity in itself is bullshit and it’s not a big deal at all, also just because someone is a virgin doesn’t mean that they haven’t done a lot of sexual things. Anyways, I guess for someones ‘first time’ this couldn’t have been any better. The whole setting and evening was pretty much perfect -- you even had candles lit lmfao -- so I guess I’m in a way glad that it was with you. Uhm yea I can’t really remember any details lmao, too many experiences with you that I’m starting mix up. Oeff, I lowkey hate you though for setting my standards for in the future so high, you’re a good ‘lover’ -- but I 100% know that you know that already.  A note to the reader: in this point in time I definitely didn’t like him, so no crazy virgin-falling-in-love-with-guy-who-basically-kinda-took-her-virginity-syndrome going on here, I think. 

Maybe I like you because of how wrong it is and it’s the elements of taboo and infatuation drawing me in. Or maybe I like you because I know that us actually being a thing is damn near impossible. To be honest, I think it’s also because deep down I don’t believe that I deserve actual love.

When you suggested that you would ‘put me on hold’ until February because you met someone else it really put me to thinking. First of all, I am a dumb bitch. I should’ve spoken up a lot sooner and told you how I truly felt. The funny thing was that I was gonna do that ‘next time’ --doesn’t seem like there will be one -- and things would be a lot different. I’m also dumb because I promised myself I wouldn’t catch feelings but then simultaneously allowed you to be super affectionate towards me and allowed each other to share deep shit, it’s so stupid.

I guess that my first heart crack -- yes, crack because I wasn't that into you that I can call it a break -- made me realise that I should stop expecting anything from people cuz it has been shown that 10/10 times I’m left disappointed because of expectations. All I need is to regain my self-respect and start loving myself. I can’t expect people to respect me when I don’t demand any respect and allow them to walk all over me and act like everything is okay when they do so. Also, I need to start becoming more vocal and direct about things like I used to be.

In hindsight, I both regret ever meeting you but also not. I learned a lot from my time with you and I do think that ‘relationships’ -- regardless of the kind -- are there for you to grow from. Sadly enough, you impaired my growth a lot as you are high-key a shithead because what you did left me quite insecure and I don’t think someone has ever disrespected me that much as you did -- which I totally didn’t expect from you.

Okay I’m super done talking/writing about you. I hope that writing this point allows me to get the peace that I deserve. And who knows, if I’m mentally in a better place, I might see you again in February -- cuz shit I’ve never been so fucking attracted (physically) to anyone before. Moreover, this post probably contained some details that a normal person wouldn’t share but like I need to let it all out so I can feel some sort of relief so don’t judge too hard lol.....

If you happen to be the person this post is about -- although, I highly doubt that you would read this -- know that I still mean the things I said through text and that this post was written from a point of self-reflection.

#journalentriesbyblckquality

[uwu-lla]

Aight so here is my lil Ol vent, 90% of it is barely understandable rambling but here it is.

So my hyper fixation atm is what little bit of lore I’ve got from Overwatch fan fiction lol And because I only have little tid bits my brain is all “let’s fill in the gaps! Make up our own plot!” N I’m just like “no! Dumbass, this isn’t good for us! We need to stop trying to think of this and get back in touch with the real world!” But of course that never fucking works, and this one is esp bad and idk y? Like I’ve had hyper fixations before but they’ve never been THIS intense. Haven’t torn me up this bad before.

But like, the bits I do get of the lore is that everything in this continent is screwed n my paranoia has gone like “that’s gonna happen soon!” N I just scream internally everytime. I guess I just really hate it when American media people decide to make my country nothing more than an apocalyptic wasteland. Like, they love to focus only on the shitty bland white Australian culture while this place literally has the oldest people n culture in the world???? Like what the koories got is so much better than the white bullshit excuse for a “culture” that Americans seems to be in love be with.

And speaking of American idolisation of white Australians, it really peeves me off that the two Australian characters are basically the Overwatch universe equivalent of racists and when I learned that I was just “fuck, THIS again. Like we needed more examples of ‘casual Aussie racism” and it’s super annoying because they’re shipped together n it’s like my dream come fucking true like they’re BOTH Australian AND gay??? Yes! Finally! Something I can personally relate to! But then I found out they are futuristic robo racists. But like, u know of anything else with gay Australians with a large fan base that updates near constantly? No! So I just have to suck it up ignore it cuz this is as good as it’s gonna get for me. And I’m not saying that the roadrat people are racists in fact they’re the exact opposite n I know they’re in the same boat as me, trying to ignore the maybe metaphorical White Australian Racism so they can enjoy a gay couple with a great dynamic n very different body types.

It just peeves me off that once again, just like with all those shitty mad max movies n crocodile Dundee, white Australia is put in the spotlight in American media and any good culture that this continent has is ignored.

I guess now I’ll talk about the bits of lore my brain has decided to fill in???

Okay, so I know that like, the company or whatever that makes the robots decides everyone who lives in the desert can get fucked n move which is real shitty n happens allot today but I’ll talk about that later. So, desert people r understandably pissed. U can’t just do that, we’re gonna fight u! But instead of getting angry at the company, they get angry at the robots??? I think idk. But anyway, desert people decide robots r bad, n all must die. So they kill a bunch, n end up blowing up the nuclear reactor that makes robots, resulting in killing EVERYONE. Like EVERYTHING, robots people plants animals u name it. So now the desert people r all crazy n sick, and the rich city people n company people don’t want to help cuz it’s they fucking fault since that factory wasn’t supposed to be there. And so yeah, two Australian terrorists, blah blah.

But here’s the thing. Right now, real life right, the desert communities in central Australia are mostly Aboriginal. Cuz it’s they land, n they’re luckily been able to keep it that way cuz they’re so far from the coast n the cities. But the thing that happens all the time? They get pushed off of their land by mining companies. So when I learned that bit of Overwatch lore, I was like “hang on r they referencing this???” N so my brain started to fill in.

I’m guessing, that this lil desert town of 95% Aboriginal people r in the way of Future Robot Company. They want them gone, they wanna dig n make more robots (don’t know y???). BUT, you see, in certain areas of central Australia, the Aboriginal communities have been able to get official land rights recognised by the government. Which means they get to have a say in what happens to their country in the Parliament House (sometimes. It’s def not perfect). So, obviously this future desert town is like “lol no u can’t mine our country dumbass” n the gov gotta go with that. But, mining companies r horrible fucking people, so they find a loophole. They say “but we wanna make this a safe place for our robots! We love them n everyone is trying to kill them” so the gov shittily lets it happen, n the company is cheering cuz yay they get to mine n the robots will get blamed for it! So the desert people r all super pissed, n some decide that it must be taken out on the robots! They’re the ones doing all this! But like I said before, this shit happens irl all the time to desert communities. The Aboriginal community understands it’s this shitty company doing all this n using the already being oppressed (???) as an easy blame.

And this is where the “ALF” come in.

Now when I learned about that, it really squicked me out. Cuz here in Australia, there is this skin head group called “Australian patriots front” n the “ALF” that Mako joins sounds like these nazi scum decided to take advantage of these angry desert people, swapped 'Patriots’ with 'liberation’, n recruited these people to push their own hateful agenda. N mako fucking falls for it, cuz he really thinks the robots r to blame. But, the other part of the desert community sees right through this bullshit n tries to stop this group from doing their robot ethnic cleansing. So, being the reskinned nazis they are, the ALF starts to also attack the Aboriginal community of this town for not wanting to kill robots. Mako just goes along with it, cuz he’s young n stupid n hoo boy does he hate robots. So a big Ol fight breaks out. ALF goes to destroy the factory, despite the koories being like “dumbasses ur gonna kill us all its not the robots it’s the sickos in the cities go kill them” n boom. They kill everyone n everything, n have made everything to ever live in the desert sick for eternity. I’d like to think that 90% of the koories were able to get out of there before it all went to shit, so all the people remaining r mostly white. Which kinda explains y Mr. Scopophobia is a blond white guy. So, he grows up with all these remaining ALF people telling him the reason everything is bad is because robots did it. So he too hates robots for a thing they had no control over, n kills any he sees. He has no idea that at one point everyone who lived in this shell of a town was Aboriginal, and probably doesn’t even know that Koories are even a thing. Then yeah he meets mr pig face n decides to go kill robots n rich people (I’m happy with that) in the outside world, and mr pig just doesn’t tell him about how he was partly responsible for ruining their continent and ensuring a shitty upbringing for Jun Jun. why would he? He doesn’t wanna ruin this relationship! Sooo it’s just best lil stick thin man doesn’t know.

After lots of stealing n robot related hate crimes, they for some reason??? Join Overwatch (which I’m not really sure what they do???) n they barely avoid not killing the robots that work there. Which brings me to what I learned not too long ago, that the robots were raging against the machine (horf horf) n had decided to revolt against the human race(I for one welcome our new robot overlords) n start killing humans (2 wrongs don’t make a right buddies). So Overwatch decided to not just stop the robots from killing people, but squashing their revolution n making them back into the servants they were made to be (fuckin shitty) That’s what I understood anyway. Idk. If I’m right about that, why, of all fucking times of our history, would blizzard decide to have a story about a government organisation destroying an oppressed race’s revolution. Like, that’s in bad taste.

So yeah my illness riddled brain has decided to cling to all this, making daily life very difficult for me. Having massive disconnections from reality, like, shit that lasts almost a whole day till my rents get home n snap me out of it. I forget to eat, drink, walk Sputnik, etc. cuz I’m just so lost in my own thoughts. I’m seeing a psych today, but she n a bunch of others might decide if I tell them this to not let me have top surgery so I’m scared to tell her. And cuz my brain has clung onto all this crap, it’s always focusing on how the robots r getting abused n so my brains like “help them! Do it! Now!” N I’m just like “fucker they ain’t real u know this so y r u being a dumbass n wasting time on this” so I’m all pent up n frustrated. I’m not really sure on how to go about dealing with this. I can’t exactly set up a ritual n ask Bunjil n Bellin Bellin to give me a cure for my mental illnesses. I think I’ll look up ways to connect with reality when I get home n see what that tells me.

So yeah, I’m real frustrated. Frustrated with my tiny White Suburban Mum town, with the society we live in where I can’t find a place simply because I can’t do certainly n things n therefore useless to the working world. Frustrated that I can’t help the koorie community here cuz I have no useful skills, n all the hard work at school last year has been all for naught.

So yeah, hopefully this will be the end of this big Ol vent. I’m kinda scared about posting this, scared of people deciding I’m a bad person for whatever reasons in here n going after me. Last thing I need is a digital army against me. Aight bye bye.

#vent #vent post #do not reblog #all this is dumbass brain shit n I know how dumb it is but here we are