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drchucktingle · 1 month

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autistic expression in a neurotypical art gallery

this morning i thought i would talk about AUTHOR VOICE specifically when it comes to AUTISM. as autistic author i have learned to turn the dial up and down when writing characters. rose from CAMP DAMASCUS is basically exactly where i rest on spectrum and this shows in a few ways

in roses internal monolog you will see that she uses phrases like ‘my friend’ to talk about folks where neurotypical buckaroos might just use first name. or with her parents she will think of them in FIRST NAME instead of ‘mom’ or 'dad’. this is way many autistic buds THINK

to explain this trot I will say it is not a way of disrespect or anything like that, it is simply that these terms are TECHNICALLY all correct and interchangeable. socially, autistic buds often learn to mask by pinpointing WHEN to use these words that logically the same to us.

in CAMP DAMASCUS i left these things in to create character, but if you go back in my writing you will see it. in TINGLERS this is because they are honest in PUNK ROCK way. unfiltered expressions. in earlier novels its admittedly just because i did not realize it was unusual yet

point is, ROSES internal dialog in camp damascus is neurodivergent and i CHOSE not to change her thought process in this way, because we are BOTH autistic. this can be a risk because some neurotypical buckaroos will read it and just think ‘what a strange way. this is bad writing’

camp damascus reviews are actually very good it is a very well received book by any measure, but you will see some folks kind of making fun of these traits (i do not think they would do this if they knew it was authentic autistic way BUT we cannot educate EVERYONE on this trot)

POINT IS i am now faced with an artistic choice in later books. do i write with my AUTISTIC voice even though some neurotypical readers find it awkward? in technical sense some readers WILL think each book is better if i eliminate my autistic tendencies in later edits

my advice is this: character voice IS SO IMPORTANT, but a big part of writing is finding the place between YOUR voice and your CHARACTER voice where both are authentically existing in some way. like acting, you are always bringing something of yourself even when you 'disappear'

when writing BURY YOUR GAYS i did not plan to make misha on the spectrum, but misha is part of me and i am on the spectrum. what i have realized over time is that ALL OF MY CHARACTERS will have these traits in some way because i wrote them, and i will never disappear completely

so when edits came for BURY YOUR GAYS and misha, i took that dial and i turned it farther towards neurotypical than i did with rose, BUT I DID NOT TURN IT OFF COMPLETELY. in literal sense, i left some of those ‘my friends’, because i will always bring MY VOICE to my art as well

i am proud of being on the spectrum. while my voice may not hit every convention of ‘good writing’ it is authentically ‘MY writing’ and i think that is more important than any outside checklist for ‘correct literary expression’. and guess what THE RESULTS ARE IN, MY BOOKS DO WELL

so if you are an artist getting feedback or reviews, consider which parts you can LEARN FROM and grow and change, and which parts are just AUTHENTICALLY YOU. because while your honesty may defy conventions and seem unusual to some folks, IT IS OFTEN WHAT MAKES YOUR ART SING

feel free to turn that dial marked 'YOUR TRUE VOICE' up and down when it makes sense. i do this all the time. but i have long since decided i will never turn that dial OFF completely. your voice is your POWER buckaroo, dont be afraid to sing with it

#writing #actually autistic #chuck tingle #love is real #camp damascus #bury your gays #buckaroo lifestyle #tingleverse #queer horror

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billiewena · 6 months

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THREE YEARS SINCE NOV 5TH, 2020 as summed up by Supernatural (sequel to this and this)

image ID & context below:

[image ID: screenshots of Supernatural paired with screenshots of various tweets, news headlines and Tumblr posts.

A screenshot of Ed and Harry in SPN 3x13 Ghostfacers saying "You gotta be gay for that poor dead intern" with a screenshot of Misha Collins at the SPNNJ 2023 convention saying "I got a call from Warner Bros and they were like hey uh...is there any world you just let it go?" This is in reference to an incident in 2022 where Misha accidentally made headlines after a comment that seemed to be referring to his sexuality. His comments at this year's panel imply that the studio in fact did not want him to retract the comment and make the apology that he posted, but to instead just roll with it.

A screenshot of Bobby saying "Time travel?" and Dean saying "Yeah" in SPN 6x18 with a headline that says "Jensen Ackles' Explains The Winchester's Multiverse Twist & Supernatural Connection." This is about the series finale of Jensen's Supernatural spinoff "The Winchesters", in which it is revealed Dean and the Impala somehow traveled the multiverse to the alternate timeline the show takes place in.

A screenshot of Dean in SPN 15x08 saying "He's back, and he's out of control" with a screenshot of Misha Collin's first Tumblr post in seven years, a video with him and his brother being a public nuisance on public transportation. Also included are screenshots of various Tumblr users reacting with tags from various tumblr users. becauseofthebowties: "mishacollinsofficial tumblr account back from the dead???" myboobsarentsentientbeings: "this is the first thing he posts? after nearly 7 years???" casismybestfriend: "RED FUCKING ALERT MISHA IS BACK ON TUMBLR" cannabiscasgate: "who the fuck gave you back your password"

A screenshot of two news anchors in SPN 14x20, with one (named Jack) telling his co-host "I love you" and her replying "Jack?" with screenshots of the Destiel/Supernatural Confession meme trending multiple times this year with other current events topics like Russia, Titanic, etc. There is also a screenshot of a post by saintedcastiel that says "I cannot believe that since we started using the destiel meme as a breaking news alert that there hasn't been ONE destiel news anchor AU fic where they're co-anchors on the morning news. cas confessed on accident while they're on air and dean doesn't know how to respond so he just reads the next thing on the teleprompter."

A screenshot of Dean in SPN 5x14 as Cupid says "I-I was just following orders" with a screenshot of an anonymous Tumblr ask to user luxshine. The ask says "Hey! I was wondering if you have any updates on the LATAM dub situation and if you were/will able to contact the dub director". luxshine says "Hi! Well I could get the translator (you know, our dear rogue translator) and he told me that while he doesn't remember it completely (because he translates a lot of series) if Dean said "And I you" it's because the script he got said "And" I you" and the video he saw said "And I you" because he doesn't add stuff." This is in reference to a change in Spanish LATAM dub of Castiel's confession SPN 15x18, which added a line where Dean reciprocates, which was previously suspected to be a change added by the LATAM dubbing director or translator

A screenshot of a detective from SPN 8x08 saying, "[Chuckles] Whatever you say Scully" with a screenshot of the tumble blr blog ao3topshipsbracket's poll "AO3 Top Relationships Bracket - Round 2 Side 1" with Fox Mulder/Dana Scully (The X-Files) vs. Castiel/Dean Winchester (Supernatural.) In the final results from 51,514 votes, Mulder/Scully won by 53% and Castiel/Dean won by 47%. In early 2023, Tumblr added a polls feature which has led to numerous content, debates, and bracket polls similar to this.

A screenshot from SPN 11x15 where Dean says "No money, no glory" with a headline that says "Supernatural creator Eric Kripke gets 'zero' residuals from Netflix"

A screenshot of Dean rising from his grave in SPN 4x01 with a screenshot of a post from the official CW Supernatural Instagram with a clip from the pilot episode and the caption "And the story continues..." and a comment from a user that says "THE STORY CONTINUES?? WTF ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US?? I HAVE ANXIETY YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME." For context, no one is sure if the post was supposed to reference new content from Supernatural or not but it has led to speculation.

A screenshot of SPN 8x01, with the onscreen lyric "Another year has passed me by."

#almost thought there wouldn't be enough for a year three post but here we are once again #destiel #spn #supernatural #nov 5th #november 5th #destiel anniversary #destiel confession meme #destiel news #deancas #nov5thposting #ntjdmakesthings

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sunshine-on-marz · 3 months

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Just a Little Jealous

Dean Winchester x reader

This is inspired by the amazingly talented @via-l0ve ‘s French Mistake headcanons that I definitely recommend you read and drop a follow while you’re at it! Via is so unbelievably sweet and I’m so honored to have permission to build off of her work!

Divider by @ cafekitsune

You and Castiel had been studying lore in the bunker while Dean and Sam were on a hunt. You were expecting the normal routine when the boys got home, so when you heard the door unlock, you weren’t expecting Dean to be hugging you before you could even get to the staircase. “Hi baby, what’s going on?” You ask softly as he peppers you with kisses, Sam just chuckles but he’s also clearly a little frazzled. “You’ll never believe that just happened” Dean mutters into your hair as he kisses the top of your head. “Try us” you smile as you gesture to yourself and Cas, Dean just glares at the angel.

“Y/N!” Dead said, exasperated

The actor looks up, “Jensen?” They say, clearly confused. Dean’s shoulders slump as he sighs “y-yea, right, sorry” he says, rubbing his temple as he looks back up to see Cas- Misha. To see Misha walking over, then kissing you. Or not you, but you. “Oh hell” Dean mutters

After explaining you just sigh and pull Dean into a hug. “Well, for one, I will not be kissing Castiel. And for two, my actor person must be really dumb to pass on the chance to do this” you say, and Dean looks a bit confused until you pull him into a deep, long kiss. One that makes Castiel look away and Sam fake gag. Dean has a big smile on his face as you pull away. “What do I gotta do to get kissed like that more?” He teases, you smirk “apparently get jealous more” Dean gasps “I was not jealous!” He says definitely, you and Sam both scoff “you literally threatened Cas’ life like eight times on the drive home” Sam says. “Okay maybe I was just a little jealous, but in my defense Y/N KISSED CAS.” He says, making everyone laugh a bit. You smile up at him “not as hard as I just kissed you I hope” Dean nods in acknowledgment “not as hard as you just kissed me” he says as he throws his arm around you. “Yea and if you ever do that infront of me again I’ll vomit” Sam chimes in, Dean flips him off. “Is no one worried about this other world?” Cas asks. “I’m less worried now that you aren’t locking lips with y/n” Dean comments, you and Cas both sigh. This was gonna be quite an experience.

Laying awake at night as Dean clings to your side, one hand playing with your hair and the other wrapped tightly around your waist wasn’t very uncommon, and it wasn’t shocking that it happened tonight. “You alright?” You kiss the top of his head where it rests on your shoulder. “All good” he mumbles, you both know it’s a lie, but you also know that pushing for information won’t help anyone right now. “We can talk tomorrow, yea?” You whisper, he smiles up at you and nods.

Maybe he’d been more than just a little jealous

I HOPE YALL LIKED THISSSS and I’m so so so honored to have Via’s permission to write this!!!

I think it turned out well but I’d love to hear your feedback! Remember to reblog and maybe even add a comment for me! I love yall

#supernatural #supernatural x you #supernatural x reader #dean supernatural #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural dean #dean x reader

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winchester-reload · 1 year

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I have a few thoughts about the Winchesters finale, and though I wasn’t gonna weigh in on this, it turns out I needed to write this down to get it out of my head, so here we go.

I understand that Misha was approached to be included on the show and that there was a “scheduling conflict” that included multiple conversations with Jensen. Here’s my interpretation of that:

I believe Cas was supposed to make a cameo in episode 13 to tee up the confession resolution—this was always the episode where they were going to crack open the “surprise twist” even before learning they would only get 13 episodes total. In the original scenario, episode 13 would have been the hellatus episode rather than a finale, leaving room for everything to come to a head with episode 22 instead. It’s then they would have given us the actual Dean and Cas reunion. This would have wrapped both stories nicely with each group going off into their own respective sunsets—their own happy endings, while still leaving all the room for the new crew to explore more seasons; all along, we see, The Winchesters was about Dean and Cas as much as it was about Mary and John.

When they didn’t get the back half of the season picked up, I assume they feared it would be more dangerous to show a Cas cameo without getting to address the confession, so Misha likely opted to be left out instead. With the only hint to Cas being Dean’s line that he was looking for his family when he found the Akrida, then directly drawing the parallel that Jack and Bobby were “family.” The core crew for Dean has always been Bobby, Sam, Jack, AND Cas. And he wasn’t looking for Sam because he was still on earth. So who’s left? You might be compelled to believe he was window shopping AU versions of his parents, but he confirms he ran into the Akrida in this world and then sought to interfere with the order by approaching John in an effort to prevent it from spreading to Sam's world. (Why Cas would be AU hopping, idk. The boy is really afraid of being shot down, I guess.)

It goes far to explain the vast narrative parallels we saw reflected in the Monster Club crew if it was intended as a setup for the confession payoff. It honestly doesn’t make a lot of sense otherwise. There’s no reason these people should be living Dean's experiences and regrets every episode unless the writers wanted the viewer to be thinking about the lessons and resolutions in how they relate to Dean too.

Additionally, as this has been a largely uncontested take, this is Jensen's well-funded fanfic come to life. Complete with the embracing of many of our favorite fanfic tropes and emphasized by Dean’s own words throughout the season. Because this is an obvious embrace of that “write your own story” fan side, I believe the reason Dean couldn’t even say Cas’ name in the episode is because they were going to change the spelling from “Cass” as it was in the show proper to the fan-adopted (and more accurate) spelling of “Cas,” which would have appeared in the subtitles and later the script pages. And even that little thing right there would have been a huge giveaway to the whole game. And a very dangerous thing to do if there wasn’t going to be enough time for follow-through.

But the truth is, this isn’t a game for many people, and the harm that can be caused by good intentions is just as real. It also begs the question: why should this be so difficult? The answer is it’s not. Edging forever isn’t fun. It’s torture. I understand there’s an art to storytelling, but your audience is weary, and trust has been violated too many times. Even still, the flip side of that coin is honest to god respect for DeanCas endgame means taking the story and the reveal seriously. It’s a tightrope walk. And one that Robbie somehow managed to keep balanced after the finale, without it falling either way. Also we also need to consider the possibility that Jensen did pitch a full-on destiel love story spin-off but got shot down, opting to couch it in a more CW-branded world instead. He’s mentioned over half a dozen pitches were rejected. It's up to you whether you want to give him the benefit of the doubt on that.

But, I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t know that we will ever get that resolution we crave. Even Robbie confirmed The Winchesters were always meant to “go it alone” after the first season. It’s hard to imagine Dean popping in there to fuck around again after that handoff. But the dude is clearly a very restless sea-faring*, swoopy-haired mofo right now, so I’ll leave that one up to the SPN multiverse and the new Mr. Superwholock’s magical universe-traveling impala. (This show used to be about what again? *looks at notes*.) And FWIW, if they do get green-lit for a whole second season or are allowed to move networks, I believe a good-faith effort will be made to tie the narrative parallels we saw in season one to some real Dean and Cas resolution. If there gets to be a world where John *might* not turn into an abusive dick, then this possibility has to be true too.

For the record, I enjoyed The Winchesters, all the new characters, and the doors the finale opened for the possibility of more. I would have been fine half-watching it with no promises, empty head no thoughts, but I got my clown** suit on again, and though I mostly kept quiet, unlike last time, I did regrettably manage to drag a few friends down with me yet again. Though the spec sessions were epic, and we did get some art out of it—it still rocks the boat when the base level expectations were only 1. Dean alive, and 2. seeing Cas again.

But for anyone, like me, upset by the (likely unintentional) Cas-baiting or anyone still reeling about why this stuff can hit so hard, here’s an interesting article about the way our brains respond to fictional characters. Tl;dr: There’s nothing wrong with you. This is science. And while you’re at it, take a look at this article about the very real power of disenfranchised grief over character loss.

Ramble on, fam. And take care of yourselves.

<3 Jackie

*Um hi he appears as a sailor? Literally, on a show with a story Dean is writing whose audience is looking for a resolution to a conversation between two people who’re famously the “most shipped” characters of all time? That’s not an accident. That’s intentional. And it’s another reason why there might be a bitter taste in your mouth. These nods came without resolution, so it still feels dirty, despite the brilliant Easter egg.

**I hesitate to say “clown” here because the lesson on episode 12 was that the clowns were the ones who chose a self-induced limbo rather than face some personal hard revelations. That sounds more like a certain closeted character than it does the people cheering him on, and that felt like an intentional nod too.

***obviously, this is my own rambling spec as I try to reorder my thoughts in the wake of the finale.

#the winchesters #destiel #spnwin #jackie's talking #meta #finale thoughts #my art

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oh-my-may · 12 days

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LET'S TALK HSR PENACONY 2.1 (or rather, have my impressions and thoughts on the main quest and some other stuff)

First of all, I went out of it with so many thoughts and emotions. This is not gonna be spoiler free (duh).

ACHERON IS SO FUN TO PLAY. Like, really really fun. Finally Simulated Universe is not an annoying pain anymore, and much quicker too. Thanks to a good friend of mine her relics aren't too bad either. She's already so fun to play with Black Swan, can't wait for a Kafka rerun now 💀

Aa for the story now: I FUCKING KNEW MIKHAIL WAS THE WATCHMAKER. I KNEW IT. Now to wait for them to confirm that Misha is connected to him, either as a ghost of his past self or a child or some sort. It's the only way.

It's also really refreshing to see that HSR is giving 4star characters significant roles in the story. First it was Tingyun, now it's Gallagher (and maybe Misha? I'll die on this hill).

Loved the pacing. Story was quite long and lots of gameplay but didn't feel overwhelming at all, probably because we didn't just stick to the MC the whole time. The characters split up and we didn't just follow the express crew but also Aventurine, I really loved that. It felt so dynamic and immersive.

WELT AND ACHERON INTERACTION. BRO. The way I gasped the whole time. We still don't have a canon confirmation of how Raiden Mei and Acheron or just generally HI3rd and HSR are connected but it's sp clear that Acheron is by far the closest connection yet. So sp excited to find out more about this. Raiden Mei, I'll love you in every universe.

Aventurine and Ratio are also very interesting to me. What does Ratio gain by involving himself in all of this? What does he get out of it? Anyway, their little journey through the mansion was nice. GIGANTIC RATIO. The kinda stuff my dreams are made of tbh.

Generally the whole Aventurine story got me right from the beginning. He's generally one of the most interesting characters to me (although this game has plenty of them). I gotta admit of course I was suspicious of him (as one should be of all Penacony characters) but I liked him nevertheless. This patch supported my feelings, my GOD HE xkdjjdjdjd. The way I cried. Since I played the story so late ofc I saw some spoilers/screenshots of his backstory but I never expected it to hit me this hard. Just wow. His ending, too. It's so bitter. Kinda hope we get to see him again, since he'a mot really dead, right? Just in some limbo.

His boss fight was really something. Not a lot of different patterns, but I still had to try a bunch of different teams, since you're kinda fucked even with just a single single target character in your party. Had to unbench Clara, and I gotta say, she came through for me. I might not have used the most meta team, but it worked soooo...

And just as I was glad I had managed the fight they hit you with that big cut scene, woah. AND THEN WITH THE FIREFLY SCENE? AND SUNDAY????

First of all, apparently it was common knowledge among the community since last patch that Sam was Firefly. Yeah, I gwt it bc of the leaks and stuff. But I'm just so confused as to HOW. Like HOW and WHY and just generally HUH. I can't wait for them to explain this connection (if you're reading this and you wanna spoil me with non-confirmed stuff then leave it, please, I might as well wait another 3 weeks).

And then Gallagher and Sunday... Just as I was admiring Sunday's beauty because he might legit just be one of the most gorgeous male character designs... THEY KILL HIM. When I tell ypu I was SHOOK. Mouth agape and all. Didn't know what to do. What a cliffhanger.

Now I don't have a real theory as to what I think will happen. If I remember correctly they said the main story will stretch until 2.3, right? I really wonder what else will happen, the story already seemed so huge this patch and I really wonder how it'll conclude. There's still so many questions and stories. Might add on to this post later when I have more thoughts.

Also Aventurine's banner just dropped but as of writing this I haven't pulled yet. Might add a little post later about it.

For now, have some screenshots I took during the story:

ALSO I GOT AVENTURINE. SECOND 50/50 WIN IN A ROW IN THIS GAME HAVE I FINALLY BROKEN THE CURSE. Now for the long and treacherous road of farming his trace mats and relics ... Since I never really prefarm 🥲

A pic I took in my excitement. Forgot the screenshot button exists.

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sunglassesmish · 1 year

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can you please explain the Jensen + Misha living together?

of course!! okay so there’s a lot of history here but here is an amazing post which details a lot of things that happened during that time we think they were living together.

but to summarise the things i can remember. in maybe 2017, misha mentioned that his wife helped him move in with a friend. around 2018, fans noticed misha in vancouver in the area of jensen’s apartment. there was a video of some fans who talked to him in that area.

and idk who or how or why, but someone obtained like a lease or something for that apartment that had both of their names on it. only a few people knew about this at the time and didn’t share it with the public (which is obviously the right thing to do).

and of course, the matching outfits. there’s a video of j2m at the cw upfronts in 2018 saying jensen and misha texted each other about what they were going to wear so they wouldn’t match but then ended up matching anyways in these:

misha posted another version of the above photo with this caption:

in 2018, someone asked misha a question (i forget if it was about clothes sharing or not) and then it led to him explaining how jensen gave misha his hand me downs and people thought that they had share clothes. but no, ‘it’s just easy for laundry to get mixed up guys!’ and then he bursts into laughter.

back then, it was like oh yeah we know they share clothes and just pretend it’s because jensen gives misha the clothes he doesn’t wear anymore. (there is a whole story about how a girl complained about how jensen wore the same shirt to 2 separate conventions, so now he makes sure he doesn’t wear the same thing twice.) but now, we realise it really was easy for the laundry to get mixed up. because they lived together.

and in 2019, after jensen was announced as the bacchus king at mardi gras, misha posted this:

plus, in a video at the end of 2019, jensen posted a closeup video of him announcing radio company. the person holding the camera panned up and down jensen’s face (here’s the video if i didn’t explain that well) and misha commented this:

and then he reposted the video saying something about he wasn’t usually into boybands but this one he likes.

also in 2020, jensen posted a video of him announcing he was going to be in the boys and someone off camera threw him a copy of one of the magazines. (we guess it was misha because of what we know now.)

to finish off this post. on the last day of pride in 2021 (not relevant but Interesting), misha sent this photo as a community text:

and this was the text he sent alongside it:

I've been missing my SPNFamily, & I've always been sentimental about "lasts." This was the last time I spent the night in the spare room at Jensen's apt in Vancouver. (I miss my blanky.)

#anon #ask #cockles #long post

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sailorsally · 6 months

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I can’t get over how silent misha can be right now. He didn’t post a single thing about the situation until obama tweeted, then he debated people in the comments, and just left. His last liked tweet is praise for joe biden when Biden then immediately went to Israel and lied about seeing evidence of the “40 decapitated babies” hoax (the White House admitted it). Alyssa Milano signed the “Artists for Palestine” letter but Misha didn’t. It’s sickening and really changed my opinion of him.

I have been saving this ask because I was sure Misha would sign the petition and he did.

I know things become nerve-wracking and we are all on edge but I am begging you not to drop people the second you get the impression that they aren't behaving exactly how you would like them to behave.

Yes, Misha liked a tweet about Biden's efforts to help evacuate Gaza, yes he retweeted Obama's tweet but then he also elaborated in the replies how he condems murder of ALL civilians, Israeli or Palestinian and of course he got backlash for not being bloodthirsty and overjoyed about Hamas killing Israelis. Later he also retweeted Bernie's tweet that heavily focuses on justice for Palestinian people.

He also said this:

which I think explains his stance in detail, yet he still got backlash. So am I surprised that he didn't tweet much after this? No, I am not.

Misha has organized numerous humanitarian missions, in war-stricken regions like Afghanistan and Ukraine too. He is a pacifist to the point of being nauseating. I am not sure what else he should have done for people to be happy with him over this? Sign a petition? Well, he has now.

(I also suspect him sending people videos saying hi is for a thing he is plotting and I very much suspect it could be Gaza/Palestine related. We'll see)

My advice is to not jump to conclusions and try and make villains out of the actual earnest few good people on this planet when it's full of assholes.

#literally what else can this poor man do #misha collins #palestine #ask sally

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trod2479 · 7 months

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Castiel IS the plot device for Supernatural seasons 4-15

Ok ok I know, This show is about two brothers fighting demons and angels in their muscle car while blaring the "greatest hits of mullet rock" up and down the back roads of America. How is the angel of Thursday who shows up 4 seasons in the reason the plot keeps moving? Well, dear reader, Supernatural has this uncanny ability to have life imitate art and the writers are no exception. In the season 14 finale, it is revealed that not only has Chuck (God) fixated on the Winchester brothers, but has fabricated almost every aspect of their life to get the perfect story. In this moment the writers of Supernatarual not only changed the context of 14 years worth of television. They made themselves the ultimate bad guys for their protagonists. So, how does Castiel fit into all of this? What is his role? His role is what it always was, the being who is able to move the plot along in a way the big bads and the writers alike never expected. An example of Castiel being an unexpected plot device starts with his introduction. In the season 4 premiere "Lazurus Rising", Castiel infamously got Dean out of hell and said, "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition". Eric Kripke, the creator of Supernatural explains that the writer strike in 2008 was the reason Dean was left in hell at the end of season 3 and Castiel was a fast way to bring him back. So, in the name of moving the story along, Kripke made the choice to introduce angels and changed the plot forever. The actor for Castiel, Misha Collins talked about how he originally signed on for 3 episodes but after the first episode aired, the character was such a big hit they asked him to stay. Outside of the writing, Castiel is also constantly moving the plot along within the realm of the show. He helps Dean prevent Chuck's prophecies from coming to fruition (We later find out they were God's prophecies). He always comes back from the dead (in seasons 4,5,6,9, and 12) when nobody expects it to the point where the angel Naomi says he can't even die right. Naomi also states Castiel "came off the line with a crack in his chassis", a reference to the fact that Heaven has never been able to keep him in line. This sentiment is echoed later in season 15 when the Winchesters and Castiel face God. God expresses his frustration with the brothers for not playing the roles he assigned them. He then goes after Castiel for not being able to control him. He tells Castiel that he is the only version of himself that stayed on Earth and rebelled against Heaven for the Winchesters. He tells Castiel that he was the obstacle that always stood in the way of his story. This confirms that in everything Castiel did, the good and the bad, not only defied god. But, in writing his own story, he helped break the Winchesters out of theirs.

#supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #jack kline #spn #destiel #spnfandom #team free will #misha collins

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winchesterwild78 · 3 months

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Chance Meeting pt 5

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

18+ Minors DO NOT interact

This is my first ever fan fiction. I adore Jensen Ackles and have no hate towards his family. In this he’s single. I’m not sure exactly how to do this so any suggestions or feedback is appreciated. Please be kind and all mistakes are my own. All work is mine. Please don’t copy it.

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, Jensen being a sweetheart

Chapter Warnings: implied teen pregnancy, Jensen being a sweetheart, plus sized reader body issues, Things continue to heat up

A/N: I’m working hard on making sure the chapters get done quickly. I don’t want to leave you hanging for too long. If you have any suggestions please let me know. Reader is older-not trying to alienate anyone, but I wanted the reader close to Jensen’s age and with children. This will make more sense in later chapters.

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As you opened your room door you looked at your phone. 6 missed calls from y/f/n and 10 texts. “Oh great, I forgot to call her back last night.” You immediately called her back and as soon as she answered the phone you quickly said “Oh my god, y/f/n I am so sorry I forgot to call you. I was incredibly busy and it slipped my mind.” “Well y/n it better have been a good reason. I’ve been worried sick.” She said. “Did you end up going to karaoke?” “Yes I did, and I sang a song with Jensen. His voice is even more beautiful in person.” “So, y/n tell me everything.” She said with excitement in her voice. You started at the beginning and you told her how it felt like a magnet was pulling you to him. You could hear her giggle as you continued telling her about everything. Well maybe not every single detail, but enough to make her squeal with delight. “So are y’all just fuck buddies or something else?” She said after you finished. “God, y/f/n crude much?!?” “I don’t know what we are right now. I just know when I’m with him I feel safe, loved and protected. I feel like I’ve known him for years. I can’t explain it. Trust me, once I know I’ll let you know.” You told her. After talking for a few minutes you told her you needed to get ready for the panels and photo ops. You both said your goodbyes with you promising to text or call her later.

You changed into your Radio Company t-shirt, grabbed your flannel and finished off your outfit with your comfy shoes. You fixed your hair into a messy bun and put on light makeup. One last look and you were headed out the door passes for the day in hand. The anticipation of the day gave you butterflies. You wondered how Jensen would act towards you and since Jared saw you how would he be towards you.

The first panel was with Jared, Jensen and Misha. You took your seat on the 2nd row on the far right. You were in the first seat and could see the stage clearly. The guys were introduced and took to the stage. Deafening applause and screams filled the room. They sat down on their chairs, of course Jared turned his around. You saw Jensen scanning the crowd looking for you. When he made eye contact with you he smiled. You smiled and bit your lip. He bit his bottom lip and licked his lips. Jared noticed and smiled, tipping his head to you. He leaned over to Misha and whispered something to him that caused him to look your direction and smile. He gave Jensen a playful slap on his arm with a big grin on his face. Jensen blushed a little. You thought he was absolutely adorable with slight pink cheeks.

The panel started with the guys talking and cracking jokes. The crowd was in the palm of their hands. These guys really love their fans and know how to really work the crowd. You hardly took your eyes off Jensen. He was breathtaking and so sweet answering questions about any and everything people asked him. You decided to jump in line to ask a question before Jensen turned back your way. He saw you weren’t in your seat and you saw his face fall a little. The next question came from the other side of the room so Jensen turned to listen and answer the question. Your turn was next. Your heart was racing and you had no idea what you were going to ask, so you decided to wing it.

You took the microphone and when Jensen saw you he started smiling. Jared and Misha both grinned. Jared said hello first followed by Misha and then Jensen. You said “hey guys! My name is y/n it’s really great to meet you three.” Jared said “hello y/n I’m Jared, that’s Misha and the goof down there is Jensen.” You giggle when Jensen whips his head around and said “oh I’m the goofy one?!?” Everyone started laughing. You looked at Jensen and said “um my question is for Jared” giving Jensen and smile a wink while Jared starts laughing and says go on. You ask him “Since he was Deans little brother, if he could pick the perfect girl for Dean what would her personality be and would it be similar to someone he would approve of for Jensen? Why or why not?” Jared said “Well y/n I’m glad you asked that question. Hmm the perfect girl for Dean would be very similar to the perfect girl for Jensen. They would have to be strong willed, loving, family oriented, could cook and put up with his moods .” “So let me ask you something, y/n. Are you a Sam girl or a Dean girl?” He asked you wiggling his eyebrows. Jensen spoke up and said “well obviously she’s a Dean girl because she wanted to know about his perfect girl.” He said smiling at you. “You looked between the both of them and smiled then said “Well, actually I’m a Cas girl.” Everyone erupted in laughter. Jared and Misha both jumped up to hug you. Jared grabbed you and pulled you into a hug and whispered “so glad to finally meet you officially.” Misha hugged you and said “I knew I was going to like you.” Jared jumped back on stage and said “best answer ever!” You thanked them and took your seat looking at Jensen and you’re both smirking at each other.

Before the end of the panel one of the staff members came over and tapped you on the shoulder. “Ma’am, Mr Ackles would like you to join them in the green room. If you could please follow me.” You grabbed your stuff and got up to follow her. She took you behind a curtain and into a room with seating, food and drinks. There was also a tv that showed the current panel. A few minutes later the panel was done and the guys were walking off the stage. The next thing you knew the door was opening with Jared, Jensen and Misha walking in. They all greeted you with hello’s and smiles. Jensen walked up to you and took you in his arms. He hugged you and backed away. You leaned in for a kiss and he said “oh I thought you were a Cas girl?” You playfully hit his chest and he softly kissed your lips. “Awwwww” Both Jared and Misha said at the same time. Jensen shot them a smirk and put his arm around you. You all sat around talking and getting to know each other. All the guys showed you recent pictures of their kids and they talked about how fast they were growing. You showed pictures of your kids and talked about how they have both grown up too fast. Your oldest is in their 20s and your youngest is almost 18. Everyone looked at you and said there was no way you had a kid in their 20s. You laughed and said “I started early.” Jensen sat staring at you and you were worried you just blew it with him. Yes he has kids, but they weren’t teenagers yet. You kinda held your breath until Jared and Misha got up to leave and told Jensen and you they would give y’all a few minutes alone before Jensen was due for his next thing.

When the door closed you looked at Jensen who was still staring at you. He whispered to you “I kinda like the idea of a MILF.” He growled in your ear and you were on each other like a couple of teenagers. You were panting and hands roaming over each other. Deep passionate kisses and Jensen leaving love bites down your neck. His lips were intoxicating and his touch was electric. You knew you couldn’t get too hot and heavy but damn did your body crave him. Between kissing and heavy petting you told him he needed to get ready for the next thing. You didn’t want him to be late. He kept kissing you and finally pulled himself away. “You know I just realized I don’t have your number.” Jensen said with a chuckle. You smiled and gave him your number then said “well I think we had more pressing things on our minds.” He texted you and you saved his number under “J” just in case someone saw your phone. You didn’t have a clue what this was between you two and you really didn’t know how to explain it yet. Keeping this between you two right now was the best decision for both of you. With one last kiss you both sighed and left the green room. He went to his photo ops and you went to get in line. You were looking forward to getting the pictures done and hopefully seeing Jensen later tonight.

Part 6 soon

#jensen ackles x plus size reader #chance meeting #supernatural convention #jensen ackles smut

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cheemscakecat · 3 months

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Hi. I obtained some more Tf2 pain. TW: N*zis

[Loosely translated from Russian]

Heavy knew a lot of stories about senseless violence.

Sometimes the doktor would tell him very funny stories about how he hunted the worst of the N*zis and got away with it. But there were many other times where he was somberly explaining what they’d done to deserve it.

Misha had many bad memories of his own to pull from of course, but the stories from doktor’s life came to him first. It must have been something to do with hearing about another person going through similar turmoil in their country.

His first thought when asked to tell a story about senseless violence was of the propaganda aimed at German children. Heavy was a language PHD, the power of words was something that he understood well. The books that told little children that Jews were poisonous but looked normal, like mushrooms. The H*tler youth training that made monsters of the children, to the horror of their parents when they returned home.

Just a few of the reasons why Propaganda Minister Goebbels’ body was found with his eyes gouged out, his ears and tongue cut off, and missing his lower jaw and teeth.

But those were private stories. Not things that the doktor told to the Engineer or any other trustworthy teammate. Just him. And he was not going to betray that trust by telling those stories to the poker acquaintances.

So instead, Heavy told a story from his life. A simple story about a little Russian boy killing a bird. But the meaning was the same as the German stories. He did not have to use many words to get the point across.

————————-

*Crying*

“That’s not even a little bit funny, man.”

“No, it’s not.”

#tf2 #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #not a ship. They do be close tho #headcanon

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prettycottonmouthlamia · 6 months

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Arknights Analysis: Chapters 0-4

So I want to start this off by stating that I'm going to analyze these chapters in two separate fashions. The first will be analyzing the chapters as if I had booted the game on launch and experienced the story without any of the surrounding events and story chapters that give these chapters additional context. The second will be analyzing these chapters from a retrospective angle, looking at how further chapters and further events have provided new information that re-contextualizes a lot of what happens and is said in these four chapters.

One of my primary theses when it comes to Arknights is that the episodic storytelling often hurts Arknights more than it helps the game, and I want to illustrate that through these two styles of analysis.

So without ado:

Part One: The Bad and the Evil Time

Now, there's a relevant question that needs to be answered from the beginning of this analysis: why am I analyzing all four chapters together instead of splitting them into four separate posts? There's an argument to be made that splitting up the chapter discussion would allow for each chapter to breathe individually. But I want to explain my reasons for not doing that.

First, these chapters were not released individually. They were released all at once, and unlike say, the first four chapters of F/GO, they do not form four separate stories plot-wise that share some connecting themes. They directly relate to one another and are basically contiguous with one another. If you wanted to, you could play and get through the first four chapters of Arknights all at once. While newer players likely would have gotten stuck on a boss like Skullshatterer and not been able to progress, I want to emulate that experience of reading all four chapters at once.

Second, these chapters do not have a lot to them in terms of actual writing and I do not intend to merely summarize the events of each chapter ahead of time. You can read them here to get an idea of what I mean. They're short chapters all things told.

Third, they share pretty much all of the same themes and messaging between the three of them, and characters do not make a ton of meaningful progression through the story. These four chapters flow into each other really well, which suggests to me they were written roughly all in a row from each other, but this results in an initial four chapters that have a lot of overlap with each other.

So that's why this analysis is going to look at all four chapters together. To give a quick one sentence overview of the plots:

Chapters 0-1: Rhodes Island's extraction operation for the Doctor and their conflict with Reunion Chapters 2-3: Rhodes Island's pursuit of Misha and their confrontation with Skullshatterer Chapter 4: Rhodes Island's rescue operation and their meeting with Frostnova

Despite the fact that these chapters span between three different locations and concern themselves with three separate events, broadly speaking, they're very tonally consistent. There's no clear separation in terms of how these chapters meaningfully contrast with each other.

In terms of the major players, Rhodes Island is the protagonist and Reunion is the antagonist, and are written pretty diametrically opposed to each other. Rhodes Island is a pharmaceutical company that is looking for a cure to oripathy and generally condemns the violent measures that Reunion takes in these four chapters, which is often spoken quite strongly. In particular I want to note that Dobermann in particular is heavily critical of Reunion, and this sets the tone for how Reunion is portrayed and generally looked at in these chapters.

Reunion as the antagonists for these four chapters are basically not portrayed sympathetically at all, and this can be pretty easily seen from the antagonists that are initially introduced to the player: Mephisto, who delights in causing harm and toying with his opponents and is named after the fictional demon Mephistopheles; Crownslayer, who is ruthless and whose name invokes regicide; and W, who is enigmatic but mostly cruel and seemingly only let's Rhodes Island go on a whim.

This image does a lot to establish the tone of Reunion: they're draped in darkness and shadow, stand atop rubble and carnage, and their leader, Talulah, is associated with dramatic heat and consuming flame. It's a very strong message to send to the player.

Reunion's job in these four chapters, outside of being the antagonists, is to act as a critical foil for Rhodes Island. The prime question of Reunion towards Rhodes Island, time and time again, is "What do you do to deserve to fight for the Infected?". Reunion is repeatedly stated to embody the rage of the Infected, calling back to the idea that "Riots are the language of the oppressed", and they repeatedly criticize Amiya for not recognizing the anger the Infected feel.

This, at least in my opinion, is not actually a bad way for narrative tension to develop. Violent and non-violent movements do tend to have some tension between each other, and importantly, are both needed to compliment and keep each other in check. However, the problem here is that these chapters are not interested in interrogating these facts. These chapters are not interested in interrogating basically anything it puts in front of you.

Amiya never really has a response for why she's acting in the way she does, and as a result, neither does the narrative. But because Reunion needs to be the antagonist, their anger is not merely limited to the authority figures behind oppressive policies or the primary people who exploit them. Reunion oppresses and kills innocent people in Chernobog, using a Catastrophe that decimates the city and infects a large portion of its populace with Oripathy, using their anger as justification, and there is never a competing viewpoint shown in opposition with that. So when Reunion is marching on Lungmen, there is every reason to believe that a similar occurrence will happen there. This is reinforced in Chapter 4, where Mephisto has created a literal flaming display of Reunion's symbol at least partially fueled by civilian bodies.

Rhodes Island being the defacto protagonist means that their actions are given an inherent justification. It creates a lot of weak writing in the chapter where, for example, their cooperation with the L.G.D. is never given any kind of moral depth, despite Lungmen's own oppressive policies towards the Infected and the attitudes of L.G.D. officers towards the infected.

The only character we see some meaningful change in is Ch'en, and unfortunately, it's part of a chapter she's not really present in. Chapter 4 shows that Ch'en is capable of some humanity and connection with the Infected that the others in her psuedo police force weren't willing to show, but it's not made particularly clear why and Ch'en quickly exits the chapter.

If you came away from these four chapters feeling like this is a RWBY situation, I really wouldn't blame you. The chapters are weak and not particularly well-written. There are points of intrigue made for example in Chapter 2 with Kal'tsit and Wei Yenwu that do not really go anywhere. Probably most importantly, despite being the protagonists, Rhodes Island's, and consequently Amiya's, moral position is never really defined. You don't get a clear sense to know why Rhodes Island is taking the actions that it is.

Now, to a certain extent, a bit more of the moral backbone of RI is revealed in the character files for the launch operators. I do think it is worth discussing these for a bit here because most of them are very brief and not well detailed, but they help to highlight what is, in my opinion, one of the central conflicts and messages in this early part of the arc.

The difference between Rhodes Island and Reunion is identity. That is, what is expected out of the identity of the Infected underneath them. This can be seen in a couple of the operator files and, most importantly, with Misha. For Reunion, the Infected and Reunion are considered one and the same. When Rhodes Island kills Reunion rioters in Chernobog and hands over Reunion prisoners to the L.G.D., Reunion makes the criticism of what Rhodes Island is doing to the Infected. Misha remarks that what else can an Infected be but Reunion. It is a continual point that many of its members are whipped into fanaticism in part because Reunion presents itself as the only option.

Rhodes Island, on the other hand, allows its Infected personnel and Operators to take back their identity as people. The Operators of RI are all unique people with their own goals, wants, and dreams. They do not, fundamentally, become Rhodes Islanders. It's why there is such an eclectic group of people working for RI.

To summarize, these chapters are invested in portraying a very black and white board to the Infected struggles, with the correct Rhodes Island contrasted with the violent, arguably evil Reunion on the other hand, and does so without really performing the necessary labor to justify Rhodes Island as the protagonist. While there are interesting messages and ideas in these chapters, it's let down by overall very weak writing.

Part 2: Separated Hearts and Arcs

So you know what the fuck a Kaschey is at this point and you're looking back. Here's the thing that kind of fucks me up: these chapters don't read nearly as bad in a retrospective lens. There's a fair amount of reasonably subtle storytelling and foreshadowing going on that hints towards things revealed in later story chapters, and a lot of its awkwardness can be forgiven with the better writing down the road for pretty much all of the characters involved (except for Skullshatterer, who basically disappears from the narrative entirely, and doesn't even show up typically in flashbacks).

In truth, I think the writers knew these chapters weren't very good, and something very interesting happens from this point on which I will cheekily call "the Reunion Arc Redemption Arc". A number of things happen in fairly quick succession with each other: the first is the release of Chapter 5, which does a lot to add additional moral depth to Rhodes Island's relationship to the L.G.D. as well as to Ch'en herself. This is followed by Grani and the Knight's Treasure which gives us our first, sympathetic Reunion character in Big Bob, and then perhaps most importantly by maybe one of the single most important vignettes in the game.

The Anonymous One's War.

This Vignette is a much, MUCH needed stitching of the various problems with Reunion. Patriot, the disorganization of Reunion, and the condemnation of the acts against Azazel do a tremendous amount of work in redeeming a lot of the previous writing. It's arguably a retcon in many ways.

This REALLY highlights a big problem with the episodic approach. I think part of the reason Chapter 5 is often lumped in with Chapters 0-4 is for a while, you were stuck sitting and ruminating on Chapters 0-4, and then Chapter 5 releases and its a chapter whose primary POV is Ch'en and the L.G.D. With episodic writing, it's easy for writing flaws to sit and fester, and it's easy for a lot of fandom voices to get together and make things worse.

Chapters 0-4 just do not hold up on their own, and honestly they do not really hold up with additional context either. The additional context softens a lot of the blow and provides a lot of closure to the issues in these chapters, but the issues still remain. You didn't necessarily need more writing in order to make these chapters work. Chapter 5 isn't that much bigger than Chapter 4 is, but I felt like there had been a sudden shift towards stronger writing in Chapter 5.

This seems by and large to be a real problem with gacha game development. Early story chapters are neglected because the time and effort needed to actually make a gacha game seem to eclipse the desire to have a strong and functional story. It feels like Chapters 0-4 were pushed out the door to make sure the players had something.

But in comparison to other gachas I've played, the turn around on Arknights is very, very quick. F/GO notably takes four additional chapters until it finally hits a good, well-written chapter in Camelot, and it's events are still very lackluster. In comparison, the only dud event that happens at least imo is Grani and the Knights' Treasure, and the next three events (Operational Intelligence, Heart of Surging Flame, and Code of Brawl) are all quite good.

What the turn around at least tells me is that Arknights from the beginning had competent writers, but that they only really got to shine once the game got on the ground.

#arknights #this is fucking LONG im very sorry #ana's arknights story analyses

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ashintheairlikesnow · 8 months

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If you ever feel like writing a Drabble where Misha is on a date and gets broken up with please tag me, cause I’d love it 😈

CW: Whumper POV, sadistic whumper, Misha thinks a lot of violent things about basically everyone

A muscle in Misha's jaw twitches as his teeth meet, grinding together with the effort it takes to just... listen. He's wildly aware of the steak knife lying next to his right hand, convenient as can be, but probably nearly as dull as a bread knife.

"It's just... I kind of feel like you don't actually care," Michelle says, and looks at him with big, imploring eyes. He thinks about gouging them out and putting coins there, something Tyoma read to him once about paying for the ride to Hell. "Not, like, about me, but... well, yes, it feels like you don't care about anything, me included."

He nods, breathing carefully. "I don't think that's true," He says, and his voice stays mild, but the rage burns him up from the inside. It's the only thing he ever feels with any level of strength - every other emotion feels sort of faded by comparison, but anger... anger is bright and sharp and hot and good.

She raises her eyebrows, disbelieving, and then lets out a little laugh, picking up her fork to pick at her salad. "Okay, fine. Name one thing you even remotely care about more than yourself."

That's easy. Misha doesn't even hesitate. "My brother."

Her hand stills, a bit of lettuce dripping ranch dressing pierced right through, as if the vegetable bleeds white with green flecks. Misha's eyes flicker down to it, wondering if he could get a pitchfork all the way through a torso and try to recreate the image. When he looks back up at her face, the expression on her face is a strange one.

"... Yeah, okay," She says, speaking slowly. "But... like. You and your brother aren't... normal about each other."

"What does that mean?"

If she insults his Tyoma, he will slice her face to ribbons, even if the trail leads right to him. It'd be worth it, to show her ruined body to Tyoma and say, look, she said bad things about you, look how much I love you that I have ensured she can't say them again.

"I... I don't know, Mikhail." She says it almost like Michael in her stupid American accent, and he swallows down a correction. It isn't worth it. "I just mean... look, my brother's a couple years older than me. I know tons of people with brothers, and none of them spend as much time together as you guys do. And, like, he looks at me like I'm intruding on you two."

"Tyoma only wants to protect me," Misha lies, smooth like oil.

Tyoma wants to protect you from me.

"Right. But. Still, like, it's weird, right?"

Misha exhales, slowly. Tyoma always tells him to breathe away the anger before it takes over when he's in a place where people will see it. He tries, he really does try.

"I do not think so," He says, placing each word into the air, picturing them as stones he drops to weigh her down, drag her under the surface of the water. "We come from Russia when we are little, we have only each other for long time." His accent is thickening, he's dropping the unnecessary English words that used to drive him up the wall.

The other kids laughed because he forgot the 'a' or the 'the' in so many sentences, and sometimes he scratched them up or bit them, and then Tyoma taught him how to stop himself, how to breathe first.

"No, I get that-"

"Do you?"

She swallows, and she sees something in his face. He knows she does, because she sits up suddenly, her spine straightening. She's tense, now. He thinks about when she explained to him that she keeps her keys between her knuckles when she walks late at night out of her job at the mall, how she never wears her hair in a ponytail because that would make it easier to grab. All the little rules she lives by to keep herself safe. He hadn't been paying much attention, it had seemed like so many pointless little games.

"Yeah," She says, and her voice is a little husky, now. "Yeah, I do. You were all by yourselves when you moved here, I understand that. But, like... that was more than ten years ago. And dating you still feels like I'm dating you both, except that I kind of get the feeling that your brother isn't into the idea."

Misha hasn't ever considered it that way. He looks to the side, out into the eternal rain. Why his parents moved to this part of the country, where a drizzle is good weather and sun is a rarity, will never make sense to him. "I can see why you think this," He says, finally, and his voice is softer now. He can see Michelle relax.

It's her own fault, not realizing that predators are often quietest just before they strike.

"I like seeing you," He continues, and looks down at his own steak, half-eaten, so raw it might as well be bleeding on the plate. "I am sorry you do not want to see me any longer, but we can stay friends?"

"Yeah," She says, and he wonders if she's lying. Misha lies all the time, about everything, constantly. But he can never tell if other people are lying - mostly, he doesn't care. "Yeah, friends. Listen, I'm gonna-... if you're okay, I'm gonna go. Do you mind grabbing the check?"

She's leaving, he thinks, and making sure she's gone before he can follow her out.

It doesn't matter.

He knows where she lives, works, who her friends are...

Tyoma would tell him this would be too close, people would look at him. Likely suspect, unlike the strangers in bars he's never seen before. Unlike the women walking the streets with no one to report them missing. Tyoma is right, he's right, and so Misha pushes it down. Instead, he looks over Michelle's face, memorizing it as best he can.

"No problem," He replies, and pushes his chair out, standing up to offer her a hug. She looks unsettled, but unwilling to make a scene - she steps into the hug, and he reminds himself not to hold her tight enough to hurt. He breathes in her perfume.

"I will see you around," He says, voice kind and soft, unworried. Unbothered.

"Yeah," She mumbles as she breaks away from him. She grabs her purse and he watches her go. She has her phone in her hand and then to her ear before she disappears from the window, and he thinks about how she's probably calling someone so she'll be on the phone all the way to her car, in case he runs after her.

In case he gives chase.

Misha, though, just sits quietly back down and cuts another bite of his steak.

He will forget her in a week, or two or three, and find some other girl. He has no doubts he'll find someone new, there's always someone new. It's not like he cares about them, he just hates when they leave him.

But Tyoma will still be there.

He finishes every single bite of his own dinner and about a third of Michelle's remaining salad before he pays and leaves, walking out into the nighttime rain without even batting his eyes against the droplets that land on his lashes.

Even the anger is fading, now. No feeling stays in him for long, he flits from one to the next. Only the itch is permanent. Michelle can go - he doesn't need her, or even care about her very much. He just hates being refused.

He sits in the driver's seat and dials the only number he knows by heart.

"Allo," Tyoma says, sounding like he's been woken up out of a dead sleep. Misha grins, knowing he'll be all mussed up, hair in his eyes. "Mishka? Vse khorosho?"

"Yeah, is fine," He answers in English. "Michelle breaks up with me tonight."

"Oh." Tyoma hesitates, then asks, gently, "Are you okay?"

Misha's smile widens. If he can't feel enough for things to matter, Tyoma at least feels enough for both of them. It's cute, that he thinks Misha might be heartbroken. "Da. Is fine. I want to go out tonight, though, find someone."

Tyoma's silence is so long that Misha breaks it with laughter, shaking his head where he sits in his car.

"Not like that! Uspokoit'sya, Artyoshka. Just to meet girls. Do you have work?"

"Mmmf, no. My night off. I can go. I can... what time s'it?"

"Eight-thirty."

"Mishka..." Tyoma groans. Misha can see him collapsing back into bed, head against the pillow. "I sleep for only four hours!"

"I know. Mne zhal', Artyoshka," He isn't, he isn't sorry at all, "But I want to go out. You will come with? Yes? If I come home, you will go with me out tonight?"

If Tyoma says yes, he won't kill anyone tonight. If he says no, Misha will find someone who looks like Tyoma and kill them instead, take pictures, and show Tyoma what he's done by caring about a little sleep more than his own brother.

He's picturing, with delight, what it would be like to see Tyoma's eyes go so wide and scared of him, like the others do before they die. How handsome Tyoma would be bleeding. But all his big brother does is sigh heavily. "Da. I need to shower and dress. Come home?"

"I will." Misha sighs, feeling so much better already. Even just thinking about fixing the itch helps, a little. Even if he would never ever hurt his brother, sometimes thinking about it is just... fun. "Tyoma?"

"Da?"

"Thank you. You are a very good brother."

He hangs up before he hears if Tyoma says anything back. Tonight will be just for drinking, dancing, and maybe seeing if any girls will go into the filthy bar bathrooms with him, and he won't hurt anyone. He won't hurt anyone at all.

He can save that for later.

Especially if any of those girls like Tyoma more.

#whump #serial killer whumper #sadistic whumper #young whumper #antoni sings lullabies #Misha is Fucked Up (TM)#OC backstory #original writing #original story #creepy whumper #reluctant whumper

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freechaostyrant · 2 years

Text

Okay, so, I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this so I don't get in trouble with creation or violate any of the rules. But I have to share what happened at my meet and greet with Misha on Sunday at VanCon and how that led to this insanity during the Jensen and guests panel...

So a little bit of background, I'm one of the administrators on the Twitter and Tumblr account for the Winchester daily updates (@thewinchestersupdates , @twdailyupdates on Twitter, give us a follow if you don't already!) Which means I've read all of the press that's come out related to the Winchester's. And it's very well documented that before Jensen and Danneel started chaos machine productions and came up with the Winchester's idea, that they had a little rewatch pilot with Misha to watch Lazarus Rising (Jensen first talks about filming it during the rosenbaum podcasts audio linked below)

https://twitter.com/acklesbitch/status/1483370216029622279?t=CMpzsuG6rYbbDk22r3q3hQ&s=19

So of course, being a fan of Misha and the Ackles, I knew this weekend I wanted to ask someone about this zoom call they filmed! So in my m&g with Misha I asked him basically (in a jumbled word salad cause I was nervous)

"In press about The Winchesters Jensen's talked about a lazarus rising rewatch you guys did during quarantine so (1) will y'all be sharing the video and (2) how was it rewatching your episode?"

And this man says "there's video? What?"

And then the m&g room all say it's a podcast and blah blah blah (I'm pretty sure it wasn't a podcast cause Jensen talked about filming a pilot and building a set but whatevers 🤷‍♀️) and Misha looks so confused and has no clue what I'm talking about. I chalk it up to the fact that no one can remember what happened at the beginning of quarantine. So I'm like "oh okay" facepalm and THEN this fucker (affectionately) says "oh you know Jensen and danneel, after they put the kids to bed, they just... Watch videos of me." 💀

So that was gonna be my private shame and since it's a m&g story I wasn't gonna share it.

Until.....

I'm sitting in Jensen's panel and here a high pitched squeal asking Jensen about watching Lazarus Rising and watching videos of Misha. And I. ABSOLUTELY. LOSE IT. No one in the audience but the other 19 m&g attendees have no context for Misha's question, but I KNOW WHAT HES DOING. So I'm basically shaking and freaking out and cannot explain to anyone why this is insanity. Jensen mocks misha's affect and asked if he was doing Ruthie's voice but I think he was mocking ME asking that question in my scared wobbly voice lmao 🤣

And of course Jensen asks Misha if he (Jensen) should answer the fans question or "mishas horrible question" and I wanted to sink into the floor 😂

And if you've seen the video, you know how Jensen answers the question and the clusterfuck the answer turned into.

So of course, I have Misha's auto later that night and I decide I have to say something to him. I was getting the poem Taxi signed by him, which means a lot for me and how I see my relationship with my mom, and I was gonna say something about how much it resonates with me, but instead I had to pivot. So I went up to his table and put down my items to get signed and said to him:

"Misha I have a bone to pick with you. You stole my m&g question to ask Jensen at his panel today!"

And this man says "What question?!"

💀

So of course I say "the Lazarus rising question. And I think I'm entitled to financial compensation for you stealing my question." And he turns to his handler and says something and turns back to me and says "I'm asking her if it's too late for you to get a refund."

So I laugh and then he said "it was a good question!" And I said "Thank you for asking it! I wasn't expecting the answer to go in that direction though" and he just gives me a look, cocking his head to the side, and I grab my items and run away 🤣

Anyway, I'm still waiting to find out what happened with that pilot episode and if it'll ever see the light of day 🙏

(Also, based on my own experience this weekend, I wouldnt be surprised if Misha genuinely cannot remember stuff in response to my questions because he's busy and frantic and short term memory kind of does in all the stress but if he was just jerking me around all weekend that was the best experience ever)

My auto items are in the images below. Special thanks to @wigglebox for giving me the cas & dean in the empty artwork so I could have Misha sign it. Can't wait to hang it up.

#spnvan #vancon 2022 #misha collins #jensen ackles #lazarus rising watch party #this affectiona f-er

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