Lol I've been kinda eating whatever, whenever. And the scale showed that to me. Highest number I've seen, I think ever.
Imagine packing your meals for work half healthy and half not.
I have a container of half pizza rolls and half vegetables. A cup of rice pudding and a bag of strawberries. A cinnamon roll but also Oatmeal and hard boiled eggs. Like I'm giving myself a choice but I'm just going to eat everything anyways.
Imagine your orthorexia and binge eating disorder always fighting against one another, and the orthorexia wins during the daytime but binge wins the evening time.
I've been actively avoiding instagram because I'm tired of seeing yet another black person killed and seeing everyone's happy highlights of their life. I've never had a problem with comparison but of course anything looks better than my body, my job, my lack of friends, lack of motivation and hope.
Not even from celebrities or famous people. I go out of my way to view their posts and avoid people I know irl. The point is escaping real life.
For a while the only thing I had interest in was watching icarly and going grocery shopping. Then I finished the show and realized I don't need anything else from the store.
A few days ago I did finish painting this piece I had sketched out for over a month, just lost interest in it. But it actually didn't turn out as bad as I thought.
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