#mum jokes

[elisabethhobbeswrites]

What’s a grammar nerd’s favourite curry?

L&a

#jokes #mum jokes #curry #grammar

[moustacheandsmiles]

http://tee.pub/lic/l1801vbszT8

#design #camping #print on t shirts near me #tee shirts #humor #printondemand #mum jokes

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[excessively-english-jd]

The Doctor Who special having Rose Noble as a transfemme girl really broke immersion for me, it was so unrealistic :/

We all know if Donna Noble was real she would definitely have personally fought every MP into passing the Self ID bill and including trans people in the Conversion Therapy Protection bill. She would have eliminated all problems facing trans youth trying to get puberty blockers. The UK would be a trans paradise and she would have fistfought JK R*wling in a McDonalds parking lot, forcing her to retire from the public eye in shame.

#doctor who #donna noble #FOR LEGAL REASONS IM A TRANS GUY AND I AM MAKING A JOKE #rose has my entire heart and donna is the Best Mum Ever

[impliedscamp]

so remember a few years ago when the previous pope said I don’t want to be pope anymore but also I don’t want to die yet, so they chose another guy to be pope instead and for a while we just had two popes roaming around? anyway something very similar happened to my good friend the doctor

#rambling gal pal #this joke brought to you by my catholic mum #doctor who

[cult-of-the-eye]

I feel like Jonathan Sims is such a dead parent jokes kinda guy when he's comfortable with people...he's delights in bringing the mood down with a simple "my parents are dead"...

#me tho #love me some dead mum jokes #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #tma headcanons

[abrahamvanhelsings]

listen i don't think edward little was actually a bad first lieutenant. when we see him in the first episode he's calm and confident. he does not say much but he's amiable enough. crozier likes him, and i don't think crozier would like anyone he doesn't think capable in some way. generally he's dependable and knows what he's doing. however unfortunately for edward he has these qualities because he has a major case of eldest daughter syndrome, which means he both wants to please his mum (crozier) and has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for his younger siblings (crew), so when they get stuck in the ice and crozier starts going (more) alcoholic, he enables his mum bc he doesn't want to disappoint her even if he doesn't agree with her, and he has to pick up the tasks and care for his siblings she's not doing, but he can't let his siblings know about their mum's situation because they'll get worried and restless. and like a true eldest daughter he has to bear the brunt of mummy's anger for being a disappointment but he also doesn't want to seek refuge with the man she divorced (fitzjames) because that feels like a betrayal. also while this is going on there is a giant bear who hunts his siblings for sport so they're dying left and right and also a changeling master manipulator who's making his siblings mad at their mum and who wants to fuck said mum before eating her like some sort of praying mantis. anyway i think i would start being miserable and anxious too.

#joke post but i do feel like the whole 'edward little's bad lieutenanting' goes a little overboard sometimes #he's always in the worst position ever for a man whose sense of duty to captain and crew is at the core of his being #generally everything he does he does bc he thinks it's for the good of the crew. #but the crew is 24/7 in mortal peril so he's anxious 24/7 as well #under normal circumstances he'd know what to do. but these aren't normal 1st lieutenant circumstances. he's not equipped for it #and anyway i do need to point out. that edward is anxious abt everything and he makes wrong choices sometimes even with good intentions #but the first thing crozier did when he got miserable and anxious was stop trying and instead hope to drink himself to death. so. you know. #edward little #the terror #jopson is the favoured younger sibling in this scenario btw #inb4 someone comes into the tags like 'wouldn't jfj be the mum' not in this metaphor

[crystal-mouse]

Yet another Ferengi holo-drama (definitely not edited security footage taken from Odo's office)

#star trek #ds9 #deep space nine #garak #dukat #star trek meme folder #quark would 100% cut up old terok nor security footage and redistribute it as a drama #in teaching my mum trek trivia she made this joke and i had to legally make it #im certain someone else has probably made this but i must be freed #mouse rambles

[thestarwarslesbian]

Cyrs, holding a python: Mum, dad, I bought a snake! What should I name him?

Cody: You did whAT?!

Obi-wan: William Snakespeare

#star wars incorrect quotes #inncorrect quotes #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #Cyrs #codywan #212th attack battalion #212th shenanigans #Obi wan is such as dad #He even has the bad jokes #Cody is the tired mum of the 212th

[expectiations]

Karen providing us with fresh hot Kingston content in the year of our Lord 2023

#karen is a godsend #more kingston content please #karen gillan #alex kingston #the amount of people in the comment section of this tiktok post who actually genuinely thought Alex ('oh that lovely lady from ER!') is #Karen's mum will never not be comically hilarious to me #it doesn't seem like an inside joke but when you meet a non-Whovian you appreciate it all the more

[epicqtefail]

cake decorations gifted by my hilarious mother yesterday

"don't try to eat them theyre made from out-of-date icing and plasticine" as if in any scenario i'd eat them and not keep them mortuary-cabineted in a tub in my fridge forever

#food #im going to eat the string that makes up hank's hair #she made them as a joke but i love them unironically #i don't make my obsession with these characters my poor mum's problem she gets gift tips from my siblings lol

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Omg idk if you talk Spanish or if it’s just XXC, but with that little and wonderful doodle you gave me the amazing headcanon of XXC being bilingual and just randomly speaking Spanish out of nowhere and nobody understanding him

[TL: XXC says "don't do coke in the bathroom"]

Shout out to the Spanish speaking MXTX fans. I don't think this is remotely what you wanted. (bonus below cut, TW: Drugs)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xiao xingchen #xue yang #Ask #bonus comic #I'm not confident enough in my Spanish to really integrate bilingual XXC into the comic #but I love the enthusiasm and there are at least two ppl leaving spanish tags on my comics so...its soft canon here. #if spanish speakers want to throw good spanish memes at me for xxc I will do my best B*) #Maybe he transmigrated and tried to turn the tides of the story but met a even worse fate.... #I like to think he teaches Song Lan Spanish to have a secret language like the SVSSS transmigrators with (broken) English. #The bonus joke here is that it doesn't matter what language the sign is in. XY can't read. He has severe dyslexia #Its not even real coke its just sugar. He's about to have a dreadful time. But the TW is just for the visuals #EDIT: THE QUEUE BROKE and I was outside with my hands in the dirt digging (around) tubers for my mum's garden. So i didn't notice #Happy Mother's day! To the mums and those without one this year <3

[worthlessemobitch]

A classic😕

#emo #emo aesthetic #emo scene #2000s emo #emo boy #emo kid #emocore #ur mom lol #ur mom gay #ur mum #ur mom jokes #ur mom #ur moms a hoe #emo boys

[fauna-and-floraa]

The case of the exploding egg fried rice

#call him Lee Mum-ho #bad joke but i thought this was a tiny sweet moment :) #Lee Know #Lee Minho #Kim Seungmin #lee know edit #seungmin edit #skz #skz gifs #stray kids #stray kids edit #bystay #stray kids gifs #2min #🐰😼🐶

[c-kiddo]

thinkin about when tmn met cad and nott was like “do you need any help there, mr? mrs?” .like Let me get this bitchs pronouns before i call him strange and frightening and then shoot my friend to check if he has healing powers

#caduceus got pronoun checked. #kiddo say #people who act like veth is cishet suburban mum are wrong and fake fans. veth is literally bisexual and loves her queers and is my friend #also booing the reading of her as a wine mum . its so incorrect #like yes they sometimes joke about her drinking but she literally became an alcoholic due to trauma. so. #and comes from a working class home torn apart by the war caused by - remember my post abt how she should be allowed #to shoot ess*k with her crossbow. i stand by that #sorry had a veth stan moment

[hungergamesheadcanons]

Post-revolution Annie just posts random videos of Finnick and their son on the internet and they always go viral because people have only ever seen Finnick as playboy extraordinare and now they see Finnick being a dumbass father who's trying his best and it's very endearing and 90% of the time the camera pans out to an unimpressed Johanna or Katniss and it's great

#the hunger games #finnick odair #katniss everdeen #annie cresta #johanna mason #listen he's trying #he's never done anything like this before #he needs a minute #finnick ringing his mum like “MUM THE BABY IS CRYING ALL NIGHT WHAT AM I DOING WRONG 😭” #“mum he reached for my lobster can he have it” “finnick hes 6 weeks old” #“mum is he meant to be throwing himself off every surface??” “i mean you did so take that as you will” “NOT HELPFUL” #“can i take him swimming yet?? i want to show him the sharks 😁😁” “finnick hes 2 months old ffs” #Annie's just watching the chaos and texting Finnick's mum like “sorry mum dont stress it I got this” #Finnick's mum just sat there like “at least one of you knows wtf is going on” #jokes on her annie just has a million parenting books she flips through to answer her questions before heading to google #annies search history includes 'how old til baby can visit ocean' #'can i make baby food out of anything' #'how to tell my husband that hes doing fine but holding the baby like that is going to send me into a coma'