#my boss won’t be in till like 9:30 and it’s 7:40

[autumnhobbit]

welp, i wanna go home

#i have no stencil to pull no stones to put on the line #cause the sandblaster isn’t running and none of the operators are in and the crane is being serviced #i already went around and marked what we have in stock #my boss won’t be in till like 9:30 and it’s 7:40

[danielxricciardo]

Prompts

1. "Hi, my ex just walked in. Would you hold my hand please?"

2. "I didn't expect to see you here."

3. "Have you seen this dog?"

4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”

5. “Seven minutes in heaven is for virgin teenagers”

6. “Slam that door one more time and I’ll shove my foot straight up your cute ass”

7. “Jesus! Knock next time would you”

8. “You have money go and get yourself a hoodie that’s not mine”

9. "I hate roses, I thought you knew"

10. "Do you think I am an angel? Ha"

11. "I wanted to sleep but someone decided to die"

12. "I can kill you right now, what are you talking about?"

13. "Hi, I am lost, can you come after me?"

14. "When I first saw you I wanted to date your best friend"

15. "I am so funny and you are just jealous"

16. "If I have to choose... no"

17. "Stop breathing like that!"

18. "I just did my nails"

19. "I'm the best driver în the world"

20. "Will you marry me?" "No"

21. "I think I broke my arm" "So?"

22. "I think I love you" "Thanks"

23. "My arms are lonely, don't you think?"

24. "Apparently we are dating"

25. “Well it’s kind of hard to move when you’re sitting on my lap”

26. "Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?"

27. "If we elope, you think they'll kill us?"

28. "This is yours"

29. "You can’t just kiss me, laugh and then walk away."

30. "Are you using ass as a pillow?"

31." I find your lack of faith disturbing."

32. "And I took it personally"

33. "In here I am the boss"

34. "Oh, bite me!" "Where?"

35. "What will you do if we break up?"

36. "Where is my T-shit?"

37. "This is no time for sarcastic comments."  "There is always time for sarcastic comments."

38. "I’ll keep quiet, you won’t even know I’m here."

39. "The way you flirt is just awful"

40. "Don’t be fooled. I’m the epitome of mess."

41. " If you are on TV should I congratulate you?"

42. "And this, is why we can’t have nice things."

43. "That's what he said"

44. "I am scared of your boss"

45. "You should know, a lot of girls have a crush on me"

46. "Everyone is afraid of you"

47. "If I'm watching that movie one more time I'll lose my fucking mind!"

48. "I thought being on vacation will be stress free"

49. "My parents don't trust you"

50. "I don't think I should give my last name so easily"

51. “I really wish I could unsee that.”

52. “Who would’ve guessed we’d be sharing a room.”

53. “I feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with me.”

54. “Nah he’s fine, it’s the other one you really got to watch out for.”

55. “I have a suggestion.” “I’m not taking my clothes off so forget it.”

56. “You’re the genius, why don’t you tell me?”

57. “Have I ever told you your accent makes me swoon?” “Really?” “No.” He/she smiles. “ that’s why I’ve never told you.”

58. “I’m alive? How am I still alive?”

59. “You’re crazy! I love it!”

60. “Never have I ever is about to get a lot more interesting.”

61. “What did they do?” “Dude. They did the do.”

62. "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!"

63. "Well this is awkward."

64. "Im too sober for this."

65. "Im pregnant." "Wall done, Virgin Mary!"

66. " I want to protect you."

67. "Kill that spider and maybe I'll forgive you"

68. "I have no one to go to the wedding"

69. "Don’t you dare touch _______!"

70. "I thought you were dead!"

71. "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."

72. "Take care of you, please"

73. "If your best friend single?"

74. "Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."

75. "Why does everyone assume we're a couple?"

76. "Im craving something sweet" "Are you pregnant or something?"

77. " What is the magic word?" "I'll kill you în your sleep"

78. "When I see you my knees get weak"

79. "Finally you're single. Can I take you on a date?"

80. " So, I guess you don’t do after hours?"

81. "I know what I'm doing, I've watched two whole seasons of Grey's Anatomy."

82. "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you right now."

83. "Okay, this did not go as I planned it in the shower."

84. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy yourself."

85. "You were my best friend"

86. "You did what?"

87. "Can you just pretend to love me for a second!"

88. "You are enough"

89. "Take the shirt off"

90. "Your nickname is bitch"

91. "What do you want to watch?" "You"

92. "How could you ask me that?"

93. "Your mouth does this thing and I can't resist it"

94. "Are you allowed to drink?"

95. "I said Im done, leave me alone!"

96. "Don’t raise your fucking voice at me”

97. “Yeah, I remember the drill”

98. “Tell me again, slowly this time, why that dog is in my bed.”

99. “Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”

100. “You and me, we were destined to fall apart.”

101. “No, you don’t know who you are until somebody breaks your heart.”

102. “I want to tell you everything. The words I never got to say the first time around.”

103. “It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”

Song lyrics prompts

1. “It’s the little things about us, that I love so much.”

2. “Last night I told you I loved you // woke up blamed it on the vodka”

3. “It’s a better place since you came along”

4. “You make me love the things I hate  “

5. Just a paper sheet and half a cigarette are left in my hand

6. Your faith walks on broken glass

7. "And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"

8. "I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe"

9. "One night, you won't forget the rest of your life"

10. "We only said goodbye with words"

11. "I'll try to give you love until the day you drop"

12. "I like the pretty boys with the bow tie"

13. "Lets get drunk forget what we did"

14. Your kisses lift me higher

15. When you're ready we can share the wine

16. "And if you don't love me now you will never love me again"

17. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

18. "When there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove"

19. She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining, just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.

20. Now I understand, you're a human, and you got to lie, you're a man

21. The good and the bad times: we've been through them all.

22. Now I ain't educated but I sure ain't stupid

23. I grew up in the shoes they told me I could fill

24. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

25. A lover would just complicate my plans

26. And in the morning, i’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind

27. My heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to

28. And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years

29. I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world

30. I’m in my bed, and you’re not here and there’s no one to blame, but the drink in my wandering hands

31. Cause you gave me peace and i wasted it, I’m here to admit that you were my medicine

32. Oh, dear diary, i met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart, welcome to the life of electra heart

33. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind

34. Is it really me you're missing?

35. Remember that night?

36. How many times can I break till I shatter?

37. As long as I breathe, I’ll call you my home

38. "You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."

39. "When we scream our lips don't make a sound."

40. "Please don't let me sink, wrap your arms around me and carry me home."

41. "This hasn't torn us apart so nothing ever will."

42. "A long time ago we believed that we were united."

43. "I miss the person that you were but I don't miss you."

44. "If home is where the heart is, why do I feel so fucking heartless?"

45. "I can't live, I can't breathe with or without you just go away."

46. "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer."

47. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."

48. "I'm not like you I just fuck up."

49. "All because of you I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos. The kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place."

50. "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again."

51. “I wish people liked me more.”

52. “How could I ever love someone else?”

53. “I guess you’re getting everything you want.”

54. “She probably gives you butterflies.”

55. “I hope that you’re okay.”

56. “I defended you to all my friends.”

57. “I never cared about what they say, only care about me and you” 

58. “Either way i’m gonna lose, so i’m just gonna keep on loving you”

59. “You know i’m bad at communication, it’s the hardest thing for me to do”

60. “Iwas your lover, i was your friend, now I’m only just someone you call when it’s late enough to forget”

61. “It’s fucked up but it’s true that i love you like i do”

62. “Well we both had nights waking up in strangers beds but i don’t wanna, don't wanna, i don’t wanna give up yet”

63. “Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow.”

64. “I’m begging for you to take my hand.”

65. “I can’t make it go away by making you the villain.”

66. “He feels like home.”

67. “I’d be breaking all my rules to see you.”

68. “But I know you’re not scared of anything at all.”

69. “When can I come back?”

70. “I’m ready to owe you anything”

71. “I’ll always look best in your head”

72. “I know you know it’s wrong, but I’m ready”

73. “All I ever want is breaking me apart.”

74. “Let's talk sweetly like all our love is false.”

75. “You put a fire in my heart, painted blood on my stars, gave me faith.”

76. “I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice.”

77. “How is kissing me so wrong?“

78. “Can’t you see that I’m already yours?”

79. “I’ve been losing track of the romantic sh*t I’m tryna say but basically I love you"

80. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

81. “I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different but I’m still growing up into the one you can call your love” 

82. “I’m out of my head, of my heart, of my mind cause you can run but you can’t hide, I’m gonna make you mine”

83. "I never loved someone the way that I love you"

84. "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you"

85. "I hope she gettin' better sex, hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe"

86. “I know we’re young and people change and we may never feel the same”

87. “I can’t change the world, but maybe I’ll change your mind”

88. "You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."

89. "Leave everything that is worth a single cent and just take me instead."

90. "And then I got you off your knees, put you right back on your feet, just so you can take advantage of me."

91. "Hey, I can't let you go with nobody. Cause I love you, baby."

92. "Tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I was enough for you."

93. "We were good at faking forever, I get it, whatever."

94. "Cause you had your chance and you blew it. Yeah, you ripped it up and you chewed it."

95. "Well, I'm too busy for your business. Go find a girl who wants to listen."

96. "Stop looking at me with those eyes, like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why."

97. "Oh, we could do whatever you want, but boy, don't go falling in love, you can't stay with me, all you'll ever have is one day with me"

98. "I pray the medication slow me down, but that shit doesn't work when you're around"

99. "Told her that I loved her once and now she'd kill for me"

100. "What the tell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends"

Who I write for

Formula 1

Daniel Ricciardo

Lewis Hamilton

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Esteban Ocon

Carlos Sainz

Lando Norris

Lance Stroll

Sebastian Vettel

Mick Schumacher

Pierre Gasly

George Russel

Football

Erling Haaland

Jadon Sancho

Giovanni Reyna

Jude Bellingham

Julian Brandt

Marco Reus

Roman Bürki

Emre Can

Mats Hummels

Leon Goretzka

Joshua Kimmich

Kai Havertz

Mason Mount

Christian Pulisici

Ben Chilwell

Gerard Pique 

João Félix

Ianis Hagi

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Trent Alexander-Arnold

Virgil van Dijk

Jens Petter Hauge

Martin Ødegaard

Alexander Sørloth

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #imagine #fanfiction #formula 1 #football #my prompts #soccer #erling haaland #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #charles leclerc #carlos sainz jr #lando norris #lance stroll #lewis hamilton #premier league #bundesliga #grand prix

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 Paul

1. What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had about a total stranger? About a stranger? Ohh I don't know? Maybe that time I thought about having sex with that girl with the huge boobs in the bus but that was years ago.

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW? I like morning sex, theses something sweet and cuddly about it

3. What's your favourite way to be seduced? It's gonna sound weird but like pet me, like run your hands down my arm, or my neck, or stoke my chest or my hips or something just literally touch me and I uhhh I am good.

4. What's the dirtiest fantasy you've had at work? At work? What are we counting as work? Because I don't really think about much other then music.

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance? Who are we classing as my boss? Our manager? Ooohh noo no no thank you.

6. What do you do when you get horny in public? Just kinda... Untuck my shirt and use it to cover my pants. And usually notify my girlfriend to uhh help with that.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom? No! Have you been in a men's public bathroom. I don't even wanna go in there unless I absolutely have to and even then if I can't just piss in a bush, there usually three blow jobs, a murder, a drug deal and someone with horrific diahrea... I don't wanna step food in there.

8. What's the weirdest thing you've thought about while touching yourself? I don't know I don't really think all that much, I thought about a cup of tea once but to be fair I did just want one when I was finished so...

9. What's the strangest prop you've used to get yourself off? ...... A shower head. Look we have an old rickety shower okay! And when the water comes out the whole head like moves and stuff we had to put an elastic band around it so it actually stayed on the wall it moved around so much and, one night after me and y/n has been, kissing a little in the early dating stages I kinda just held it to my shaft and ... You can imagine what happened

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused? Yes! The first time y/n came over in this little blue dress she had always worn fairly high neck dresses and such but uhh this was a uhh well low cut and I saw cleavage and boobs and I uhh yeah I got very very hard.

11. Who gave you your first orgasm? I did! We technically my pillow did, same night after y/n had gone home I uhh yeah kinda just wrapped my legs around the pillow thinking about her and next thing I knew I was cumming. That was an eventful day.

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like? Not at all. All I remember was that it hit like a tone if bricks and I had to bite the pillow so I didn't scream

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew? Not sex. I've got a blow job from someone I didn't know the name off but that was before me and y/n where dating.

14. What's your favourite thing about a quickie?

Hearing her trying to be quiet it's so adorable and cute.

15. What the most sexually daring thing you've ever done?

Sex onna bus! Yeah we where heading home to my flat one night after a gig and we where sat at the back of the bus all alone and I pulled her on my lap and we uhh yeah we had sex.

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers? No I have not. That's a weird thing to do.

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks? Nope. I do not have the time or the thought capacity

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them? Nope. You know who I imagine does thought. John.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Yes.... George. John dared us! I got him back I made him show is cock at a gig.

20. What inspires you to make the first move? Ummm Im not sure, usual just the thought comes into my head we have been sitting her a while or kissing a while or whatever so my hands just kinda take that as there sign to uhh do something already.

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed? To pleasure your lover.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn't help yourself? No! I saw the other boys do it and saw how it ruined everything, I love y/n far to much to ever hurt her like that.

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush? No!

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy? Y/n climbing out my shower wrapped up in her little towel, dripping wet, coming into my bedroom putting my shirt on and nothing else and getting all cosy in my bed and maybe playing with herself a little... But I'm usually done by then

25. What kind of porn turns you on? I don't mind some of the magazines, not the ones where there like fully naked I like the little linguee and long shirts kinda magazines

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed? Many times, not on purpose I just get overexcited and shut my eyes

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner? No, but... If y/n would like to I have no issue with that.

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

Yes... 29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex god?

Never sure my sexy babydoll

30. What's the dirtiest thing someone's ever said to you during sex?

I don't know honestly she doesn't talk all that much

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

No!

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No! What is with the pervy questions!

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their "third"?

No thank you I have a beautiful girlfriend and I am very content with her

34. What's the most flattering thing someone's said about your naked body?

So beautiful, so sexy, I want you inside me now!

Yeah we both went a little nuts that day

35. When's the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

Like three weeks ago, I don't sex dream all that much maybe were having to much sex to make me horny in my dreams?

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Hot, sweaty and gross, no thank you

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

A couple of times usually egged on by john, but the most that ever came out of it was a blow job

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

A nice sexy time, maybe a spoony cuddle, a cup of tea and then off home

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

Myself about twenty minutes but I don't usually count when I'm with y/n

40. What's the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Seeing her in my clothes... That does things to me that I can't explain but it's so hot! My shirts, my boxers, ummm she looks so good!

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

I guess y/n counts before we where together as she was one of my best friends

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

Yes. Many times.

43. When's the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

Years ago. I don't do that anymore now I just wait till I see y/n luckily she usually right in bed with me

44. What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you while hooking up?

John walked in on us during a uhh delicate time, as I was literally about to fucking cum! And now he knows to fucking knock!

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

Many times y/n likes to watch me sometimes, and she likes to call me up and listen to me while I listen to her

46. What's the dirtiest text you've ever sent or received?

Well she once handed me a note that said "My house tonight parents are out x p.s being by favorite toy please xxx" ummm just thinking about it makes me hard.

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Amateur!

48. What's your favourite blowjob technique?

Uhhhh suck I guess I don't know if you have it in your mouth I'm happy

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

I think I am... Submissive. Just a little bit, maybe a lot

50. Is there anything you won't do in bed?

Anything with anal can fuck off on me or her

51. What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?

Y/n coming in the room in my shirt pulling me around by my tie, tieing me to the bed and ummmm letting her do whatever she wants to me and I'd be bad just so she'd spank me.

52. How many people have you slept with?

Uhhh I think two. Maybe three? But I think two.

53. Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?

On john's apartments kitchen counter, he and the other guys went out to get take out for dinner and uhh we may have had sex on his counter top... Sorry John.

54. What's your favourite part of Y/n's body?

Her boobs. Or her hips I like both

55. Have you ever had anal sex?

Yes and it can fuck the hell off! I do not get what guys love about it so much it was had for me bad for her, the only time it was tolerable was when it was me! Ohh... I don't think I should have said that.

56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose?

My blue boxer shorts and my red button down... Ummm with half the buttons undone

57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched?

My chest, I like when she pets me there.

58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Our bed of course?

59. When did you first had sex?

Ohh it was a terrible night, bent her over a bench in the park, the boys could hear us it was a weird time and I didn't enjoy much of it at all as I really liked y/n and this was just some pub girl named alice then but after it I got some courage and asked y/n out and we've been happy ever since

60. What's the best sex you've ever had?

The first time we did it in my apartment, we could be loud, we could take as long as we wanted, we could be kinky, we didn't have any worries and it was amazing!!

61. What's your favourite position?

I like to be ridden. But what boy doesn't?

62. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Yes, many times, john, my dad, her mum, all of my band, we get caught alot

63. Do you watch porn? I look at magazines

64. What kind of porn do you watch?

Magazines

65. How often do you masturbate?

Before y/n and I where dating actually even we where dating, before we became sexual in our relationship, twice a day at least now... I don't I literally haven't for over a month y/n takes care of me now

66. Name a sex position you'd like to try?

I wanna try reverse cowgirl so badly!!

67. Do you prefer to give or receive?

Give! I like hearing her gasp and moan for me

68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes! It was fun I wanna go again but it's really really cold.

69. What's the most sex you've had in a day?

Ten I believe is the record.

70. Are you loud or quiet during sex?

Loud, we are not a quiet couple

71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay?

Yes! We used honey my god it was so sticky never again!

72. What's the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone?

Personality, the boobs.

73. Would you say you have any fetishes?

I like to be spanked. And tied up.

74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go?

She has tied me up, and she spanked me sometimes, and... We may have done anal on me but that's it

75. What's your favourite toy?

Either the shower head or... Y/ns little spanking paddle she keeps at mine

76. Do you ever read erotic fiction?

No, but that sounds fun

77. Have you joined the mile high club?

No but I shall one day I vow to do so!

78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands?

I know I can I have done it many times I use my teeth and my tongue

79. Would you say you're kinky?

I don't think I am that kinky but y/n is and I just allow her to do whatever she wants to me

80. Do you enjoy shower sex?

Yes!! It's so good, so warm, and wet and the shower is good too, plus we get to use the shower head on each other fucking hell she sqeauls!

81. Where's the weirdest place you've ever masturbated?

Under the table at the school library, I couldn't stop thinking about y/n and yeah I uhh did that

82. Do you like to be spanked?

Yes... but only when I've been a bad boy

83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex?

Once, the first time, I imagined she was y/n

84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish?

I would do whatever she asked me too but I know she'd likely wanna watch me finish for her

85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush?

Not really, y/n was pretty normal a crush so no.

86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex?

I have cried many times,

87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

I like it but it tends to make me louder and more needy

88. Do you like to kiss during sex?

Very much, the more kisses the better

89. Do you get tired after sex?

I do, usually I cuddle up to y/n and give her a kiss and we fall asleep in each other's arms

90. How many positions do you think you've tried?

Uhh not all that many four I would say as a guess

91. What's the longest you've ever gone without sex

I guess about a week, if we are not counting before time

92. How high is your sex drive?

Medium, y/n has a higher drive then I do

93. What's a surefire way to turn you on?

Rub your hand across my neck as we kiss and all the way down till your rubbing my cock, fuck it makes me hard!

94. Sex with lights on or lights off?

On! I wanna see what's going on

95. Do you like dirty talk?

I like when she calls me a bad boy, especially if she is also rubbing on my cock or spanking me at the same time the dirty talk adds to it

96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners?

Long term

97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom?

Bottom!

98.Rough or romantic?

Romantic

99. Quickie or marathon session?

Marathon! I wanna go for hours and hours!

100. What's the best thing about our sex life?

Awww, that we have complete faith in one another I don't worry about you while I'm gone and you know you don't have to worry about me, so when we get together again I get to have my perfectly smutty girly that I love ever so much, that and it's fun when the boys ask where I get my brusies from and I get to say there hikis from my sexy girlfriend, even if they are in usually places.

#paul mccharmly #paul mccartney #nowhereboy #nowhere boy #tbs au #tbs #tbs fanfiction #tbs smut #tbs sex #tbs smutty #tbs fanfic #thomas #TBS Imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #thomassangster #thomasbrodiesangster #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster i #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas brodie sangster s #thomas sangster smut #thomas sangster x reader #thomas smut #thomas sangser imagine

[shiishki]

okay wait, i changed my mind. you should answer all of these questions as well, if that's what you want from me >:)

oof there's a lot of it, that's what i get for wanting to be ✨aesthetic✨

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

vowels (and the importance of being me) - hunny

honeypie - jawny

pretty young thing - michael jackson

mirrors - justin timberlake

sunflower - red orange county

paradise - rude-a

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

a therapist.

ok someone else.. uhh,, my grand grandma because i only have scratches of memories but i dunno if that counts since she passed away...

*rummages through ancient scripts* uhh ok someone who isn't dead.. uhm,, tommie? yeah I'd like to meet them if i could meet anyone on earth

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

ok, the closest german, english or polish book? nvm i have english

"suddenly was. So I just said thank you a few times too, and Mum" ironically this is one of the normal lines in this book

4: What do you think about most?

the fact that I'll have to do something after school. and I don't know if i want to go to college or get a job bc i have no legitimate idea on what to do with my life. it gets overwhelming, just the lack of knowledge about the actual experience.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Ok

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with, tho i sleep with just shorts in summer

7: What’s your strangest talent?

not sure if it's a talent, but i can fall asleep anywhere

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are pretty. boys are pretty

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

by me, yes. no one else has written a poem about me specifically. nvm, tommie wrote one and it shall rest on my wall, or desk, i need to find a place for it

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

uhh i think last month?

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

i don't think so, but i am hella afraid of the possibly gigantic, terrifying things in the ocean depths that humans haven't discovered yet

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

yep, beloved legos as a lil child

13: What’s your religion?

i can't ever remember the name, but i believe gods (from all religions) exist in some way or form. so i believe in different pantheons and etc.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking my doggo, skateboarding, thinking about how to make the lives of my characters worse

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

uhmm the arctic monkeys? or the strokes

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know what i want

18: Do you believe in karma?

yes, the rule of three specifically

19: What does your URL mean?

i don't know. it's something me and my sis came up with and that's just my whole identity now.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

uhh greatest weakness.. i can't finish things. strength is that I'm very stubborn so maybe I'll finish that thing out of spite

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

i grew up thinking crushes were like unicorns. my ex was odd enough to argue with that i didn't love her if i didn't have a crush on her. but I think if i had to guess.. selena gomez, especially in the role of alex russo in wizard of weverly street

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write angry letters. sometimes they're sad letters. i write a lot of letters. except i never send them out and no one made a movie about them :}

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

jars and witchy bottles, books? scented candles

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone calls are stressful enough as is, i don't need you to see my reading off what i frantically wrote to not stumble over my words

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

i think so, yes, but that won't stop me from becoming better

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate flies buzzing right by my ear, love cat purring

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I'd been born in a place where it was illegal for me (nonbinary) to live, in a time when others thought of me as a curse?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

they be chilling.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm, doggo, left arm, pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

fresh air and doggo, because doggo is with me and I can't live without open windows

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

i dunno tbh

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

which one is less homophobic?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

every gender is my opposite gender. selena gomez and justin timberlake

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to make it easier for people down the line

36: Define Art.

make thing, thing goes woo

37: Do you believe in luck?

yis

38: What’s the weather like right now?

it's nice actually, very sunny, slight breeze

39: What time is it?

12.59 am

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

i don't, but i once crashed into a fire department vehicle with my bike. bike ded.

41: What was the last book you read?

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

i legit ass don't know what gasoline smells like.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

many variations of my name, aka. Luce

44: What was the last film you saw?

i think it was Robin Hood: King of Thieves, but it might have been that half of spider-man homecoming i managed to watch with my poor internet

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

oh man i dunno... it's not an injury, but i was very sickly as a lil kid and almost died :)

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

once, years ago

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

hmmm horizon zero dawn i think

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

proud pansexual ^^

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

not really, i don't think they're big enough to be actual rumors,, meh

50: Do you believe in magic?

yis

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

meh. they suck, i know they suck, that's it.

52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer ♋

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i attempt saving. attempt

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

for my own money, sweets. i bought lizards for my cats so they can brush their teeth from my dad's amazon acc

55: Love or lust?

luv

56: In a relationship?

nope, i buy my own cookies

57: How many relationships have you had?

1, kinda toxic toward the end, very stressful, don't recommend

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nu ><

59: Where were you yesterday?

on the fields walking my doggo

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep, a pastel pink hoodie in my closet uwu

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

yis, thicc warm socks

62: What’s your favourite animal?

cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

cuddles and food.

64: Where is your best friend?

bold of you to assume i have a best friend.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

tommie-hildebrandt, kageyuji, nekomas-kuroo, joyful-soul-collector

66: What is your heritage?

I'm a demon boi from Poland tho that's not a thing to be proud of, i mean, look at the economy. awful.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping, trying to sleep.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Pinkton. or Satan.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

this is such an odd combination of words i had to look it up. yea.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

a friend who won't laugh at me when i ask them to order smth for me because I'm too anxious to.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

excuse me? i am saving the doggo wtf. f u boss, I'm gonna sell my tragic story to the news.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i tell my parents. b) live the hell out of them uwu c) nope uwu.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

history maker - dean fujioka :]

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

3332

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

communication, trust, some more communication.

77: How can I win your heart?

let's not pretend to be something else to please each other, and bring some bitter chocolate.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

maybe. it could. i don't have a say in it since my sanity is held by tape.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

eat the pizza. stop caring about others not liking me/parts of me. just living for myself uwu.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

uh i dunno how the american sizes work and i don't wanna look it up so, 39, 40 fits too.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

demon boi

82: What is your favourite word?

socks.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the bloody organ that sits in your chest and pumps blood into your body so you don't die.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

uhm im not sure if that counts as a saying, but fake it till you make it

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

blinding lights - the weeknd

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

oh a normal question people use for ice breaking, sea blue and pastel variations of it.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

like my wallpaper? or the actual picture that sits on my desk? or how my desk looks like atm? it's ugly, a lot of papers and pens and schoolbooks.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

donald trump. or the next asshole who'll try to take the rights of the lgbt and poc away

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

this. this is the question.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

yo there's a pizza somewhere in the refrigerator, want me to heat it up? we can have a sleep over and talk about our feelings :3

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

telekinesis! or shapeshifting! i could do such fun things with telekinesis ^^ yeah I'd totally eat some radioactive veggies

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

that time my "friends" got me into shoplifting, half-hour is more than enough to punch some sense into my brain and develop good music taste

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

can i save this one? i don't think i have an experience horrible enough to be erased haha

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

sleep as in.. uh no thank u. but I'm down for a sleep over with sam smith ^^

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

just me? what about my pets? my fam? it's lowkey illegal for me to go just anywhere without them owO

uhhmm, greece. imma become part of the greek pantheon out of pure spite. and maybe toronto canada.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not any that i know of o.o

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

i think i may have but i honestly don't remember

98: Ever been on a plane?

nope, i dunno if i like planes, but I'd probably sleep if i were on one.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

yeet.

#that was long #probably because my stubborn ass wanted to make pretty formatting #shiishki.rambles #shiishki.interacts with tommie

[peaskyblonders]

Random prompt list

I made this as I seem to be lacking the inspiration to write anything the past few weeks :// Please feel free to request anything using as many or as little of the prompts below, or dont be afriad to use them for your own work!!

1. "I feel like I just got hit by a car." 2. "Its midnight, where the hell were you?" 3. "Have you lost your damn mind?" 4. "You need to wake up. I can't do this without you." 5. "Kiss me." 6. "C'mere, you can sit on my lap 'till I'm done." 7. "I think I might be falling in love with you." 8. "This is a lot harder than it looks, I don't think you realize that." 9. "Pretend to be my date." 10. "It's three in the morning." 11. "We need to talk about what happened last night." 12. "If we get caught I'm blaming you" 13. "I really want to kiss you right now." 14. "Stop moving, I'm almost done!" 15. "Where did all those bruises come from?" 16. "Is there a reason you're wearing my shirt?" 17. "I didn't realise I needed your permission!" 18. "I'm not jealous!" 19. "Stop whining, its just a bullet." 20. "How long has it been since you slept?" 21. "You're not gonna lose me." 22. "You're dead to me." 23. "What you're feeling right now is regret." 24. "We should get a puppy!" 25. "I want you. Only you." 26. "Bite your lip one more time. I dare you." 27. "Stop waking me up in the middle of the night." 28. "Stop pushing everyone away." 29. "Is s/he really just a friend?" 30. "I'm not scared of you." 31. "You're driving me crazy." 32. "We have to be quiet." 33. "I've wanted this for so long." 34. "I love you." 35. "Are you flirting with me?" "It took you long enough to notice." 36. "You aren't the boss of me." 37. "You never told me your friend was cute! What am I supposed to do?" 34. "Is being high all the time worth losing everything?" 35. "Do you trust me?" 36. "We're in public, you know." 37. "If you walk out that door we're done." 38. "You need to sleep." 39. "Is that blood on your collar?" "...No?" 40. "We can't keep pretending that it didn't happen!" 41. "If you care about me you won't do this." 42. "Drop the attitude." 43. "You know the worst thing about falling for someone who you know is no good? You fall anyways in hopes that they turn out to be different. They never do." 44. "You might not like me, but you definitely want me." 45. "Why do you hate me so much?" 46. "Let's fuck." 47. "I can't even remember why we were fighting in the first place." 48. "How much of that did you hear?" 49. "Make me." 50. "I've thought about this for a long time."

#prompt list #prompts #writing prompt #Peaky Blinders #thomas shelby #john shelby #finn shelby #isaiah jesus

[sailing-elitsha]

WE DID IT!!!!!!!!

Our first ocean crossing is a fact!!

The last miles were draining. Running with constantly changing winds, crossing waves and without spinnaker is not funny. I was not seasick this time, but caught an ear infection, which I thought will be okay after a while, because I got antibiotic from Doctor Josephine in St Helena for my leg infection. Without consulting a doc in St Helena again, we left. The crossing waves and light wind made me nauseous because my ear was blocked. The night watches drained but the spirit of the crew, Dick and I, maintained unbroken positive and happy. We caught a tuna and a barracuda. The swordfish, when we finally had him close to Elitsha, went back to the sea. The line broke and he is now the coolest fish in the South Atlantic with a hip piercing on his sword nose. The barracuda, I caught on my watch. Dick was sleeping and I got him close, which was not easy, but then I saw his teeth, I knew, this I won’t do on my own. Together we got him in.  Even though I was not feeling well, I baked several breads, cooked tuna curry, and did my watches. Dick took the more difficult watches and let me sleep a little bit longer each night. I rest much more then he did. So, you can imagine, we both looked forward to having a good sleep after arriving in Fernando. Bob the aircraft engineer was close to us, but they wanted to continue their way to the Caribbean straight forward. Going ashore in Fernando de Noronha was not allowed, so all Yachties skip the island. We were hoping on getting water and to be allowed to just sleep 3 nights at the anchorage and continue sailing afterwards.

Immensely proud and happy on Friday the 30th of April at 5 am after having sailed 1812 nautical miles we arrived at Fernando de Noronha, a small Island and Nature Reserve at the Brazilian Coast. Dick and I were both a bit emotional: WE DID IT!!!!!! Its always special to arrive after a long sail. First you hear and see birds, then lights, then the shape of land, then you smell something different……… But this time is was special special. We arrived at the other side of a very very big and deep (4000+ m deep) ocean.

40 meters of anchor chain and we lay in front of a beautiful beach in a beautiful bay. This Island is a Nature Reserve and so so beautiful. We were the only yachties. Nobody is allowed to enter the island from sea. we could smell the cocktails, but were nut allowed to grab them.....made our owns though....Due to humanitarian reasons they have to allow us to buy fresh supplies and water, which we needed to continue the rest of our voyage. After we arrived, our yellow Checkers cloth and the Brazilian flag went up the mast. Nothing happened. Dick was swimming with zebrafish and sharks in the meantime. After half a day waiting and asking harbour control again and again on the radio we finally got an answer. At 3 o clock we got picked up and the harbour master welcomed us together with the police. The police would escort us to the shops and the next day we have to leave. Zora pictured out a scenario of Dick and I in handcuffs in de shops grabbing 5 l canisters of water and apples under supervision of the police officers, when we told her. (There is a photo of Alex, the police officer, faking to arrest Dick. That photo was especially taken for Zora.)

But it went differently. We were very fortunate to meet Alex, a Brazilian federal policeman from Brasilia, the only English-speaking person on this island. They all try google translate, but internet is a crime here. So Alex was the solution. He told us that the extra days of sleep could only been allowed if I would get a doctor’s attest and then he drove with us to the hospital, translated, then to the Pharmacia, then to the harbour again to explain that I was even sicker than I thought, and the doctor wants to see me every day till Monday. He and his colleagues wrote reports, spoke to their boss, to make it happen for us to stay longer. This way we not only were allowed to stay 3 nights, but we were also allowed to explore the island. The police brought our 60 l water and fresh supplies to the boat and gave us very valuable tips for sightseeing, bus routes, the best bars and best meals of the islands: platter federale ( a seafood food platter the chef  always creates for the federal police men and Caipirinha pinto. They gave us a branche with well 12 coconuts on it. Uii, lekker.  We ate a special bean soup with quail eggs…….. Alex was and still is our hero and became a friend. We had a very special time at Fernando de Noronha. Again, everybody knew us, helped and was friendly. 

Traveling during Corona is not easy, but at the same time very special. People are happy with every single tourist; it is not full and overcrowded. Covid in Brazil is hectic. In Fernando they have not one case. Its so normal to sanitize and wear masks. Fortunately, we will not get a Brazilian stamp in our passport, which is good. This stamp could close some borders for us. So, we visited a little piece of Brazil, met a lot of Brazilians from Brasilia, Sao Paulo, Recife and other Brazilian Cities, and got information and a little bit of insights in the culture.

 We ate delicious Brazilian food, but officially we have never been in Brazil. How is that?Traveling in the Caribbean with a South African flag is a problem we were told, because of the racist history. That was one of the reasons why we choose a German registration. But sailing with a German flag in Brazil was also a thingy: 7:1, the water taxi captain said when he saw the black/red/gold. I apologized and promised, that we (the Germans) would never beat them (soccer WC 2014) again in a semi-final in their own country with 7:1. That was good, then.

Even though it was great and relaxing. It was quite expensive to stay on an Eco Island. For 3 days we paid 200 dollars. When we wanted to go to a beach at the other end of the island today, they wanted us to pay another 100 dollars (a 9 day valid ticket for three beaches). We rather went back to the for-free-harbour-beach with the bus again and saw turtles, lemon sharks and a lot of other beautiful fish. Wrong!!! Dick saw them. I am not allowed to snorkel. Grrrrrr. My ears!!!! So, we didn’t need a 100-dollar beach. From here we could even see Elitsha waving towards us. 

 From Elitsha we see dolphins around us spinning in the morning, zebra fish all around and the trumpet fish from St. Helena followed us to Fernando. 

Our last water taxi was a luxe motor yacht with fancy leather seating. Dick and I felt like Crockett and Tubbs in Miami Vice. So funny. 

Last evening at Fernando. Tomorrow we lift our anchor and off we go again. The doldrums are waiting for us and then the north east trades to lift us to Suriname. Can’t wait to explore the rainbow forest that side. 

A big thank you to our shore captains, Anneke, Zora and Holger, who make harbour arrangements for us, inform us about the weather and much more; to Wiek, our fishing coach, for telling us afterwards what we caught and have eaten, hahaha and to all our friends and supporters who react and encourage us all the way of our journey. Its fantastic to be in touch with you. 

Believe us, we enjoy every single second and moment of our journey with each other and are so so glad and happy that we are doing this with the two of us. Don’t forget to donate for the nautical miles we are sailing. 

Lots of loveDick, Sylke and Elitsha     

Questions for the Elitsha competition:

1.       What is the capital of Brazil?

2.       Where is Fernando de Noronha?

3.       What is a sea mountain?

4.       What kind of shark, did my husband dive with?

5.       How does a trumpet fish look like? (and don’t tell me: like a trumpet, hahaha. I want to see a photo.) 

All participants will receive a price!!!!!!! 

For the ones who want to take part in our sponsor sail: We have sailed 1812 nautical miles. You can donate a cent, a Rand, a Euro or whatever per nautical mile. We are sailing for these amazing schools: every nautical mile and each Rand counts. To UBUNTU for Africa, German NGO.                                                                                                                                                                          The money will go to the UBUNTU for Africa projects: after care at Hout Bay Primary School and the music project at Silikamva High School. This organisation I started 12 years ago (www.ubuntuforafrica.com) Of course, you will receive a tax certificate. 

Ubuntu for Africa-Kinder-, Jugend und Familienhilfe in Südafrika                          Volksbank Boenen e G                                                                                            IBAN: DE91 4106 2215 0054 5799 01                                                                  

For South Africans and others, who want to donate directly to South Africa (also with tax certificate): please donate to Kronendal Primary School (www.kronendalprimary.com). I worked for 10 years at Kronendal Primary as a school counsellor. This school struggles financially due to the consequences of the Covid Pandemic and deserves our support.                                                    KRONENDAL PRIMARY SCHOOL trading as CUIM (“the account holder”) holds the following account with                                                                                        First National Bank, a division of FirstRand Bank Limited (“FNB”): Account Type BUSINESS ACCOUNT Account Number 53452884035                                           Branch Code 204009                                                                                         Branch Name HOUT BAY 345                                                                               Swift Code FIRNZAJJ                                                                                                                                                             WE DID IT

[x-lulu]

gurl 1-99 I dare you😄

haha no if that's too much just 1, 2, 24, 32, 77, 85, 95

well I finally answered them all babe, took me a week haha 💗

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? world away by tonight alive, you give love a bad name by bon jovi, amnesia by five seconds of summer, had enough by lower than atlantis, take it out on me by thousand foot krutch, if I could fly by one direction, I just named the first that popped in my head

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? YOU

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17? a wind came in off the harbour, bringing the smell of the sea

4: What do you think about most? I’m an overthinker with anxiety so yeah I think about everything a lot, so I wouldn’t know what I think about most

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? just an okay haha

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? with, an oversized shirt and underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent? latin maybe?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) I don’t know rock? I’m not really the kind of person that puts a gender in things

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? uhm I don’t think so, now I feel unimportant haha

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? I’m more an using a hairbrush as a microphone kind of girl

11: Do you have any strange phobias? probably, I’m scared of a lot of things

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? don’t think so

13: What’s your religion? officially I’m Christian, I’m a bit searching for what I believe in tho, I do believe in jezus but not like walking on water and coming back from the death, I might believe in the Greek gods and nature gods

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? enjoying the fresh air, going for a walk/ride and look at cute animals

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? even if you kill me I don’t know what band to say

17: What was the last lie you told? I lied about not being sad

18: Do you believe in karma? I don’t know, sometimes, but like there are people who’ve done terrible things, where is their karma?

19: What does your URL mean? it’s just my nickname, I didn’t want to make it fandom related because I’m a multi fandom and I didn’t want to have to change my url a lot, I also didn’t want to put my real name because I don’t want people to find me who I know in real life haha

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? my insecurity is my greatest weakness I think, I don’t know my greatest strength... maybe being a person who people feel loved and welcome by? Idk if people feel that way and idk if it’s a strength. If I’m gonna be poetic I have to say my greatest weakness and strength are both that I love someone with my whole heart, when I start loving you, I love you so much, I would do anything for you, but when someone fucks up, I’ll still love them even tho they don’t deserve it, so that comes with a lot of pain so yeah a weakness and a strength

21: Who is your celebrity crush? rudy pankow and dylan obrien

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? yes

23: How do you vent your anger? I keep everything to myself till I explode and start screaming

24: Do you have a collection of anything? music records, stones and just memories from places I’ve been to

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? neither? If I’m comfortable I do enjoy video chatting especially in times like these where you can’t speak in real life

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? this is hard one, I’ve never been happy with who I am, I do like me better than who I used to be

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? sound I love is when you’re walking trough the woods just the birds, can’t think of one I hate, I definitely have some they just don’t come to mind rn

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if I keep going through and it doesn’t get better

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes/maybe

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. my laptop and my pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? flowers

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? xanten

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? uhm west coast? Idk haha

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? harry styles is the first one that pops in my head

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? to find love, can be someone something, experience things that make you happy, enjoy it, learn, better the world

36: Define Art. creating something, it can have a meaning but it also can’t, a lot of people give it a deep meaning, which can be it, I just think art doesn’t always have to be deep are spectacular it can be someone making something because they have so much going in their head and they find peace in creating art and get inspired by their own experience, people also can it just do for fun, there are so many different kind of art and artists, I don’t think it can’t be defined

37: Do you believe in luck? I don’t know

38: What’s the weather like right now? rainy

39: What time is it? 9:54 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? no licence

41: What was the last book you read? a fanfic on Wattpad fight or flight by ffsumth

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? yes 🙈

43: Do you have any nicknames? lu and lulu obviously, loesje , samantha, pinguïn, polar bear, you called me lulu bear hehe

44: What was the last film you saw? I don’t remember...

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? uhm ive broken a few things, my toes and my arm, but nothing really bad actually

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? no, I don’t want to, I have seen some really close, they’re beautiful

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? again you haha, but like all the stuff I post on here are my obsessions

48: What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t know, I think straight, but I don’t know for sure

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? yeah

50: Do you believe in magic? I’m not certain, maybe I do :) I do live by the saying ‘just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist’

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? sadly yes, like I won’t be mean to you or anything, but I will never ever trust you again, if I’m hurt I’m hurt and sadly I haven’t found a way yet to leave it behind, so I’m feeling a lot of pain and I’m never gonna forget that pain, so yeah...

52: What is your astrological sign? capricorn

53: Do you save money or spend it? uhm both? depends on how I feel and what time of the year it is, I have the bad habit to save it for a few months and then spend a lot of it

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? a apple pen so I can start trying digital art

55: Love or lust? love

56: In a relationship? with you hehe

57: How many relationships have you had? none official relationships, I’m just not lovable okay leave me alone haha

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no oops

59: Where were you yesterday? home, school, therapy

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? a pillow

61: Are you wearing socks right now? no

62: What’s your favourite animal? polar bears

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? no idea haha, I don’t have one

64: Where is your best friend? at home, like 20min away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. this is hard so I’m just gonna name the first five that come in my head @nxsmss @rafej-cambanks @thegreatestofheck @chrlsgillespie @nedleed

66: What is your heritage? I don’t know 🤷‍♀️

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? sleeping, I had to get up early today

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? never thought about it

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? no

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Is it bad to say yes? I mean I hate myself but I do think I’m a good friend

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? save the dog obviously!!!!

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I think I would tell people, I’m not sure, but like so have people got the time to say goodbye the way they want to, I would travel the world I think, do everything on my bucket list, maybe some illegal stuff 🙈 (where no one gets hurt tho obviously), I don’t think I would be afraid... I mean I’m suicidal, I’ve literally been connected to death my whole life, if you understand what I mean

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. uhm trust I think? If I would have love but don’t have trust I wouldn’t really feel loved anyway, I do really want to experience how it feels like to be loved tho...

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? the first song that came to mind is love my life by Robbie Williams, I rarely listen to it, but the lyrics really gives a boost of happiness and confidence

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 51 54

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? loyalty and trust, you don’t have to agree on everything or be interested in the same things, you do have to be there for each other

77: How can I win your heart? YOU ALREADY HAVE

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes I think so

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? to get dogs

80: What size shoes do you wear? uhm 38 eu, 4,5 uk and 7 us

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? a loving ... I hope to be a loving daughter, friend, wife and mother, someone who was always there for others

82: What is your favourite word? fuck haha, no idk but that is definitely a word I use a lot

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. pain....

84: What is a saying you say a lot? enjoy the little things

85: What’s the last song you listened to? ignorance by paramore

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? uhm I do love black, I also like pastels and like a turquoise kind of colour

87: What is your current desktop picture? me and my friend

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? no one, there are a lot of people who did wrong, the need to be in jail, but I’m not saying someone deserves to die

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what goes on in my head, how I’m feeling

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? scream probably haha

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? teleportation, I would travel the world haha

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? when I was in Ireland by the cliffs of moher

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? uhm this is a hard one, maybe seeing my father almost dying? (he is okay btw, we were lucky), I’ve had nightmares and anxiety ever since

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I find this so weird to say for some reason... if I have to give a name it would be harry styles I think, because damn look at that man, but I don’t know, I would rather be friends with him than sleep with him tbh, I know you can do both haha, but idk I’m not like yes I want to sleep with him haha, I think I’ve read too many fanfics about him that I would find it awkward

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? ice land or canada

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? don’t think so, not close ones anyway

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? no, I got out in time haha

98: Ever been on a plane? yes, when I went on a trip to georgia in west asia

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? you’re all ignorant assholes haha, no idk what I would say, there are a lot of good people on this world I know, but man there is some fucked up shit, so maybe I would educate some people or it would have something to do with mental health, maybe about loving yourself or that it’s not a sign of weakness and that we should be treated as equals to physical pain, we should be taken seriously... I don’t really know, there are so many things haha

#asks #lara #games

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE ANATOMY OF VC BE A STARTUP

If in the next couple years. Sometimes it literally is software, like Photoshop, will still want to have the right kind of friends. Where the work of PR firms.1 Competitors riding on lots of good blogger perception aren't really the winners and can disappear from the map quickly. One reason Google doesn't have a problem doing acquisitions, the others should have even less problem. Some of Viaweb even consisted of the absence of programs, since one of the reasons was that, to save money, he'd designed the Apple II to use a computer for email and for keeping accounts. They want to know what is a momentous one. How do you find them? Suppose it's 1998. The big media companies shouldn't worry that people will post their copyrighted material on YouTube. Once someone is good at it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.

Gone with the Wind plus Roots. This is extremely risky, and takes months even if you succeed.2 At most software companies, especially at first. Their answers were remarkably similar. I use constantly?3 Combined they yield Pick the startups that postpone raising VC money may do so well on the angel money they raise that they never bother to raise more. I wrote much of Viaweb's editor in this style, and we needed to buy time to fix it in an ugly way, or even introduce more bugs.4

Historically investors thought it was important for a founder to be an online store builder, but we may change our minds if it looks promising, turn into a company at a pre-money valuation is $1.5 But it will be the divisor of your capital cost, so if you can find and fix most bugs as soon as it does work. Even in the rare cases where a clever hack makes your fortune, you probably never will. You may not believe it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.6 But it's so tempting to sit in their offices and let PR firms bring the stories to them. Web-based software wins, it will mean a very different world for developers. I think we're just beginning to see its democratizing effects. But this is old news to Lisp programmers. If 98% of the time.7 It might help if they were a race apart.8

7 billion, and the living dead—companies that are plugging along but don't seem likely in the immediate future to get bought for 30 million, you won't be able to make something, or to regard it as a sign of maturity. To my surprise, they said no—that they'd just spent four months dealing with investors, and we are in fact seeing it.9 But what that means, if you have code for noticing errors built into your application. The number of possible connections between developers grows exponentially with the size of the group. We think of the overall cost of owning it. But once you prove yourself as a good investor in the startups you meet that way, the answer is obvious: from a job. Your housemate was hungry. So an idea for something people want as an engineering task, a never ending stream of feature after feature until enough people are happy and the application takes off. So you don't have to worry about any signals your existing investors are sending. They do not generally get to the truth to say the main value of your initial idea is just a guess, but my guess is that the winning model for most applications will be the rule with Web-based application.

It's practically a mantra at YC. You probably need about the amount you invest, this can vary a lot.10 If you lose a deal to None, all VCs lose.11 Plenty of famous founders have had some failures along the way. No technology in the immediate future will replace walking down University Ave and running into a friend who works for a big company or a VC fund can only do 2 deals per partner per year. For insiders work turns into a duty, laden with responsibilities and expectations.12 In addition to catching bugs, they were moving to a cheaper apartment.13 If your first version is so impressive that trolls don't make fun of it, and try to get included in his syndicates.14 VCs did this to them.15

Most people, most of the surprises. So the previously sharp line between angels and VCs. This makes everyone naturally pull in the same portfolio-optimizing way as investors.16 And there is a big motivator.17 These things don't get discovered that often. Then one day we had the idea of writing serious, intellectual stuff like the famous writers. You need investors. The mud flat morphs into a well. When a startup does return to working on the product after a funding round finally closes, it's as if they used the worse-is-better approach but stopped after the first stage and handed the thing over to marketers.

Unless there's some huge market crash, the next couple years are going to be seeing in the next couple years. And yet when I got back I didn't discard so much as a box of it. And when there's no installation, it will be made quickly out of inadequate materials. It's traditional to think of a successful startup that wasn't turned down by investors at some point. But that doesn't mean it's wrong to sell.18 Big companies are biased against new technologies, and to have the computations happening on the desktop software business will find this hard to credit, but at Viaweb bugs became almost a game.19 Plans are just another word for ideas on the shelf.

I wouldn't try it myself. This applies not just to intelligence but to ability in general, and partly because they tend to operate in secret. Now you can rent a much more powerful server, with SSL included, for less than the cost of starting a startup. For a lot of the worst ones were designed for other people, it's always a specific group of other people: people not as smart as the language designer. We're not hearing about Perl and Python because people are using them to write Windows apps. But if you look into the hearts of hackers, you'll see that they really love it.20 I am always looking.21 But you know perfectly well how bogus most of these are. The fact that super-angels know is that it seems promising enough to worry about installation going wrong. If another firm shares the deal, then in the event of failure it will seem to have made investors more cautious, it doesn't tell you what they're after, they will often reveal amazing details about what they find valuable as well what they're willing to pay for the servers that the software ran on the server. Why can't defenders score goals too? If coming up with ideas for startups?

Notes

But if they pay a lot of people who need the money.

A Bayesian Approach to Filtering Junk E-Mail.

Unless you're very docile compared to sheep. Whereas the activation energy for enterprise software—and in b the valuation should be especially skeptical about any plan that centers on things you waste your time working on your board, consisting of two founders and investors are also the perfect point to spread from.

Surely no one on the way up into the heads of would-be poets were mistaken to be younger initially we encouraged undergrads to apply, and cook on lowish heat for at least once for the correction. I know it didn't to undergraduates on the y, you'd see a clear upward trend.

The hardest kind of method acting. Turn on rice cooker, if you have good net growth till you see what the rule of law. But there are no discrimination laws about starting businesses. In fact, this seems empirically false.

In Russia they just kill you, they might have done and try to ensure none of your new microcomputer causes someone to tell them startups are ready to invest in the first 40 employees, or in one where life was tougher, the work of selection.

The best kind of kludge you need to, but except for money. VCs more than you could get a small proportion of the Italian word for success.

To a 3:59 mile as a motive, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from those of popular Web browsers, including the numbers we have to assume it's bad. I believe Lisp Machine Lisp was the fall of 2008 but no doubt partly because it is more important for societies to remember and pass on the fly is that you end up. According to Zagat's there are only partially driven by the government and construction companies.

One great advantage of startups have elements of both. Not least because they're determined to fight. The quality of investor behavior.

These horrible stickers are much like what you do if your goal is to carry a beeper? Acquisitions fall into in the angel is being unfair to him?

Which OS?

As I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, you're not allowed to discriminate on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the editor in Lisp, you might be tempted to ignore what your GPA was.

Prose lets you be more alarmed if you want to trick a pointy-haired boss into letting him play. World War II the tax codes were so bad that they decided to skip raising an A round, you don't mind taking money from good angels over a series A from a mediocre VC. The dictator in the US. Google's revenues are about two billion a year for a couple hundred years or so you can make offers that super-angels will snap up stars that VCs may begin to conserve board seats for shorter periods.

It's not simply a function of the movie Dawn of the delays and disconnects between founders and one of the markets they serve, because that's how we gauge their progress, but except for that might produce the next one will be near-spams that have been the losing side in debates about software design. Japanese.

There were a first—9. Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives were, they'd have something more recent. Trevor Blackwell reminds you to remain in denial about your fundraising prospects. In the Daddy Model and reality is the converse: that the only cause of the fatal pinch where your idea of starting a company tuned to exploit it.

A few VCs have an email being spam.

The late 1960s were famous for social upheaval. Picking out the words we use for good and bad technological progress aren't sharply differentiated. Letter to Oldenburg, quoted in Westfall, Richard.

So you can fix by writing library functions.

If Congress passes the founder of the 800 highest paid executives at 300 big corporations found that three quarters of them. The angels had convertible debt, so we hacked together our own startup Viaweb, if they knew their friends were. But be careful. The original Internet forums were not web sites but Usenet newsgroups.

The only people who had been with us if the quality of production. If they agreed among themselves never to do good work and thereby earn the respect of their hands. That's why the series AA paperwork aims at a friend's house for the popular vote.

Galbraith p. And so this one is harder, the median VC loses money. European art.

Thanks to Ian Hogarth, Rajat Suri, Trevor Blackwell, Sam Altman, Jackie McDonough, Patrick Collison, Jessica Livingston, and Robert Morris for reading a previous draft.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #sup #friends #people #founder #funding #idea #li #Plans #executives

[louisinawetsuit]

I was tag by @champagnelarrie and had fun doing this so thank you 😊 hopefully those I've tag will join in on the fun and anyone who I haven't tagged but sees this hopefully will do it as well. So in no particular order I tag @hogwartzlou @mullinhore @alldayeveryday1daf @goddamnlouis @guesswhatyourealoser @bravestmanintheworld @they-feel-the-same @prettygoodfromhere @styloueh @afangirlfantasy @acertaintwistedtenderness @disenchanteddeath @always-in-my-heartx @justholdonharry Here's mine - LAST [1] drink: coffee with kalua [2] phone call: brother [3] text message: friend for her birthday [4] song you listened to: Broken by Xenia Ghali [5] time you cried: probably two months ago when I had to move but I'm glad I did [6] dated someone twice: Date? What's that? [7] been cheated on: never as far as I know [8] kissed someone and regretted it: never [9] lost someone special: My daddy almost five years ago [10] been depressed: a few years ago was not good times but thankfully music kept me going [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: like two years ago. Try not to go that far when I drink to avoid doing just that. LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blue [13] blue [14] and now green ;-) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: no [17] laughed until you cried: oh for sure. Laughter really is good medicine for the soul [18] found out someone was talking about you: my old boss cause he realizes he lost a great employee and treated me like crap when I gave my two weeks notice but now he's suffering for it [19] met someone who changed you: not in the last year but someone who helped me be more open and let my walls down a bit [20] found out who your true friends are: not really but because of my move I've found the people who want to keep our friendship alive and take time to stay in touch long distance [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no I don't really Facebook but in any case no to the kissing (see question 22 lol) [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them they're all family and friends [23] do you have any pets: sadly no though I live with two dogs, one cat, two turtles and one hamster [24] do you want to change your name: no but I usually go by a shortened version since it's a little long at four syllables [25] what did you do for your last birthday: just dinner with friends but it was nice [26] what time did you wake up: its Sunday and I slept in till 11:00 almost [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: catching up on The Originals [28] name something you cannot wait for: My knight in shinning armor lol but no really I guess Louis' new single. I really can't wait to hear it [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: a few minutes ago [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: to believe I can find my contentment again [31] what are you listening to right now: Nothing right now cause I'm concentrating on this [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes one of my bosses who was a great guy [33] something that is getting on your nerves: stupid drivers [34] most visited website: probably tumblr yup just checked my battery usage and almost double of what the next one down the line was [35] elementary: just fun and friends [36] high school: Not a bad experience though I had to work harder but we had fun too especially senior year [37] college: One year and then I quit [38] hair colour: naturally black but right now brown [39] long or short hair: I like short cause it's easier to maintain but I'm thinking of growing it out some [40] do you have a crush on someone: sadly no [41] what do you like about yourself?: I think I'm a nice person and try to help others though sometimes it's taken as being weak [42] piercings: Just my ears don't think I'll venture further than that [43] blood type: B+ [44] nickname: V [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: libra [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show(s): ugh was vampire diaries but right now probably so you think you can dance [49] tattoos: yes, two. One I like to refer to as my satanic symbol but it's just a Celtic knot and the other which hurt like hell is my sons footprint from birth on my foot [50] right or left handed: right FIRST… [51] surgery: thankfully never [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: kelly [54] sport: swimming [55] vacation: camping on Long Island. So relaxing with nothing to do but chill out and beach days [56] pair of trainers: reebok [57] eating: the customary cooked and mashed veggies but not from a jar. Mom made it fresh daily for her wee baby [58] drinking: Booby milk from mom [59] i’m about to: watch a movie probably [60] listening to: nothing right now [61] waiting for: Mr. Right [62] want: to smoke but I won't cause it's so bad for you so I don't [63] get married: never say never but no. Been there done that and NO [64] career: probably missed my calling to be a teacher but right now I'm a bookkeeper YOUR TYPE… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs for sure they're like tea where they will fix almost anything [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller but just a little bit [68] older or younger: younger but just a little bit too [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: no preference just nice I guess. A good person to be honest [71] sensitive or loud: Sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: I'd like a relationship but after being on my own for so long I hope I can sustain one if it comes along [73] troublemaker or hesitant: Uh neither I think HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger?: well not total stranger I knew his name and talked to him for a few hours first [75] drank hard liquor?: yes but usually mixed with something no shots [76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: no never but I have broken a pair once [77] turned someone down: yes [78] sex on first date?: NO [79] broken someone’s heart?: yeah unfortunately but then he broke mine as well [80] had your own heart broken?: yes see above :'-( [81] been arrested? hell no I would probably die before they ever got me in the police car [82] cried when someone died? YES [83] fallen for a friend: no DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself?: fo sure [85] miracles?: yes [86] love at first sight?: no but yes to lust at first sight [87] santa claus? No but I wish I did still [88] kiss on the first date?: sure if you feel like a spark is there why not [89] angels?: yes [90] current best friend’s name: mitzy [91] eye colour: dark brown [92] favourite movies: Mary Freakin Poppins!!!

[evangelene]

92 statements tag

I was tagged by the ever lovely @ebullientbun !! Thank you sweetie for thinkin of me!! <3 <3

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Me: gonna answer them and break dem fuckin rules cos I don’t know 20 people who’d I think would be comfortable wit dis

THE LAST: 1. drink: Archer farms sparkling water that I have consistently knocked over six times in the last ten minutes. 2. phone call: My dad asking if I wanted cheese on my subway sandwich 3. text message: “show me the bling damnit!” to my friend who’s boyfriend finally fuckin proposed. 4. song you listened to: Soldier by Fleurie 5. time you cried: Literally yesterday, I had a weird pmsing breakdown at work in the bathroom for whatever idiotic reason. Weeeeee~

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. dated someone twice: Since I’ve only ever dated one person and I am still dating them....no. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: that one time I kissed a sunfish I caught just so I could chase my partner around and shout “WHY WON’T YOU KISS ME?!”  as he runs screaming from me. (he hates fish) 8. been cheated on: Don’t think so? No.  9. lost someone special: Yes. 10. been depressed: Chronically. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never been drunk and never want to be drunk--so no.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. - dark purple, dark teal, and like a salmony pinkie color. IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: Duh.  16. fallen out of love: Nah, once I love something I generally continue to love it for the rest of my life. Unless you’re a backstabbing bitch of a friend, then yes I will fall out of friendship love with you.  17. laughed until you cried: Yes, we were in the car and my dad was screaming Naf Naf in about seventy different voices for whatever reason.  18. found out someone was talking about you: Positively usually, yes. But I’m also oblivious AF.  19. met someone who changed you: I like to think that every person I meet changes me in some way. Some for the better, others just make me hate a certain breed of old person more.  20. found out who your friends are: Pfahhaha, oh hell yes. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yea, and I’m labeled as “in a relationship” with him.

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: IDK like I used to know some of them--maybe like 90% I have a bad habbit of accepting everyone who sends me a friend request because I can’t remember anyone for shit. Turns out at least ten of my friends I have no fucking clue who they are but I hope they like the shit nothing I post.  23. do you have any pets: A rabbit, two gerbils, three golfish, four bettas and a whole fuckin forest of plants.  24. do you want to change your name: Nah, I’d forget to respond to anything else.  25. what did you do for your last birthday: Sat alone on my computer at my partner’s house hoping anyone on tumblr or facebook or just in general would remember my birthday. Surprise, not really. And then we went out to eat and I got ravioli and pet dogs and got happy.  26. what time did you wake up: 3am, 4am, 6am, 7am, 8am and then finally 9am. It’s rare that I sleep through the night entirely. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: passed out having a dream that I couldn’t breathe--turns out I couldn’t because I was fucking accidentally suffocating myself in my bed of pillows. 28. name something you can’t wait for: moving out of this damn house and not telling my mother where I’m going. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday but I hope that soon it will be never again. 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my flabby fatness but my meds are making it nearly impossible for me to lose it currently.  31. what are you listening to right now: The pleasant background noise of a horrible mother on Say Yes to the Dress. 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, he’s my boss and I always feel like I’m incredibly nervous talking to him because like yo--what if he fires me for yawning? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my mother but that’s nothing new. 34. most visited website: Youtube 38. hair color: auburn/red 39. long or short hair: long AF 40. do you have a crush on someone: yes, my partner--though he’s aware that my heart belongs to every single animal I see before it belongs to him.  41. what do you like about yourself: I’m secretly a badass but no one believes me because apparently I come off innocent and incapable of protecting myself.  42. piercings: 11 ear piercings. 43. blood type: A positive I think? Idk, the red cross vampires keep calling for more of it. 44. nickname: Sam? Hey you? Sami? 45. relationship status: in one? 46. zodiac: Gemini 47. pronouns: She/Her 48. favorite tv show: Wynonna Earp 49. tattoos: Two and counting. 50. right or left handed: Leftie in writing but ambidextrous in everything else 51. surgery: Yeah that one time they though I had cancer and operated on my mouth. Also wisdom tooth surgery in which I sobbed because I thought that they took my lips from me.  52. piercing: I want an industrial bar real bad. 53. sport: fencing, sometimes walk/run if my asthma allows for it.  55. vacation: Not till august but I’m hoping that my partner will make good on his promise to take me to Disneyworld. 56. pair of trainers: ???the fuck this mean????

MORE GENERAL 57. eating: I had a piece of cake. It was delicious 58. drinking: that same sparkling water I keep knocking over 59. i’m about to: write, clean, or nap. I haven’t decided yet. 61. waiting for: My anxiety and depression to magically be cured. 62. want: to just sleep forever. 63. get married: I want to literally just so I can wear the dress. I don’t give a fuck otherwise but damnit I want an excuse to doll myself up to the high heavens. 64. career: I’d like to be an art teacher but if that doesn’t pan out then I’ll just become a professional dog hugger. 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: Hugs, but I like kisses too. 66. lips or eyes: Eyeballs, but I have a hard time making eyecontact in person so probably actually lips. 67. shorter or taller: It doesn’t matter? Like rude? I like em in all shapes in sizes. 68. older or younger: Older, but not like grandparent aged.  70. nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t give a fuck. Where’s the option for personality? 71. sensitive or loud: Sensitive because I’m shy and if the person is too loud or insensitive then I feel like I would start crying because yo like being in the spotlight gives me hardcore anxiety. 72. hook up or relationship: Relationship.  73. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant; I’m not about to fuckin babysit who I’m dating.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: No 75. drank hard liquor: Yes, and then I punched my dad’s sunburn because he tricked me. 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: All the time.  77. turned someone down: Yes,, but the best way to turn people down is to show them pictures of Kim Seokjin. 78. sex on the first date: Hell nah boi. Unless you’re female, then I’d be down for it.  79. broken someone’s heart: Probably? By accident? 80. had your heart broken: Hell yes. 81. been arrested: Fuck no, I haven’t even been pulled over. 82. cried when someone died: Um, duh? 83. fallen for a friend: No? 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: Maybe like 10%. Okay, I have an irrational fear of mall railings because I don’t trust myself to not trip and accidentally fall over it. 85. miracles: Sure, some bullshit miracles tho? Nah. 86. love at first sight: I believe that is called attraction. For me, love comes with knowing a person not just being like--oh they cute I bet they have a great personality too. 87. santa claus: Nah, I deadass watched my mom write Santa on one of my presents as a child. 88. kiss on the first date: Sure? IDK, my partner kissed me before we even had our first date because motherfucker was antsy. hahah.  89. angels: Yesh.

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: I have so many of them--but like Kylee, Maria, Ashleen, Serena, Laura...... 91. eye color: Hazel AF. 92. favorite movie: Bitch I have so many. Split, terminator, Get Out, the purge movies, Brave, Moana, etc.

Tagging:

@g-d0818 @daegu-dreamin @seokjinaf @arisuna @anyoneelsethatwantstodothis

Also, feel free to not do it if I tagged ya. I’m just spacey and forgetful!

#tagged #dis is me

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 Rafe Sadler

1. What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had about a total stranger? Hummm... I once as a boy, had a very dirty thought about one girl I saw across the way in church she was beautiful and I thought about doing things to her about us sitting side by side and touching each other but I never saw her again after that.

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW? Now would be nice. But I like in the morning as the sunlight shines in across y/ns perfect skin watching the sunrise and the fire embers flicker thought the canopy on our bed as we make love in that sweet sleepy morning state

3. What's your favourite way to be seduced? Seduced? I don't know. I like to be touched not like... Overly sexually just like touch my arm, my hand, my hair something about it I just kinda like it

4. What's the dirtiest fantasy you've had at work? Ohhh! Once I was in the office with Cromwell going over some paperwork and some letters and my mind sort of drifted a minute and I imagined y/n coming in to dust and sitting on my lap letting me grind against her till I was hard and desperate for her and then she got down and sucked my cock but cromwell woke me up before I could imagine much more

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance? I would not. No thank you.

6. What do you do when you get horny in public? Ignore it. I don't get horny In public often usual only when my little ladies getting frisky and wants a little attention so I usually just take her somewhere private and make sure she makes me feel better

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom?

No. I have not and frankly that's sounds like a bad idea

8. What's the weirdest thing you've thought about while touching yourself?

I like to picture y/n. The strangest was when I hadn't known her too long and I imagined coming across her in the house as she was bathing, of her sat in the hot steamy water naked rubbing soap up her..... Uuuummmm I miss picturing that but I don't usually have to anymore

9. What's the strangest prop you've used to get yourself off? I once used a pillow and some intricately placed blankets within the case

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused? I remember it well. I was only a young boy maybe ten, eleven. And I went down to the kitchens as I was still new in the cromwell household and I saw this girl, this woman who was doing the laundry and I saw as she was scrubbing the clothes down the washboard I could see her wet bouncy boobs in her dress and yeah it uhh did something to me.

11. Who gave you your first orgasm? I did. With my hand one dark winter night after looking at our new maid girl all day

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like? It was amazing!

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew?

I have not. I've thought about people I didn't know but never much else.

14. What's your favourite thing about a quickie? I love what they do so my little lady, y/n loved quickies and they drive her crazy which makes her very needy and very loud.

15. What the most sexually daring thing you've ever done?

I stood watching the maid girl in the kitchens as she was knelt down scrubbing the floor her dress all wet from the water she was washing it with, I had desired her a long time by this point and I just... I went over and slapped her butt kneeling down with her and rubbing myself on her ass, I'd barely even spoken to her yet but she resupricatid it back and we ended up losing our virginity to each other right there on the kitchen floor, and we've been happily and smuttily together ever since

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers?

No! Damn I thought I was a horny little bastard

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks?

No just y/n I like thinking about what's below her dresses

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them?

I do. And then I usually make a note of it and make her do it once we get home.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

I have, me and gregory grew up much like brothers as I was part of his father's and families service for so long being part of there household, and he thought of me much like a brother And infact still does but one night, we weren't that old he wanted to see if... That was something he liked and I admit I was curious so we kissed, and gently touched each other but we both agreed, it wasn't for us.

20. What inspires you to make the first move?

Hummm? How horny I am I guess?

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed?

I think to be good in bed you have to be willing to change and be considerate of your partner, it's two of you working together and you have to work together it can't be about one or the other.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn't help yourself?

No! Many times richard and others have stopped places on trips but no. I wait till I get home so I can save it all up and ravish my little lady

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush?

No! I adore y/n! After cromwell's I entered the king's household I could have had a lady, a princess, anyone I wanted but I staied with y/n until we got married because I love her so much

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

Y/n. Bathing.

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

Windows. I suppose. Well watching y/n

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

Yes! Usually because you ever been to tudor england, if we blow out the candles it's fucking dark ain't much to see anyways well it's my beautiful wifey but not much I can see in this level of darkness

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

Well I have tied her up a couple of times and she had too me too.

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

I like when y/n whispers to me especially in public or in meetings or other such things, once I had to go to court so I brought her along with me and as we sat watching the king speak about his new wife, she slipped her hand across my leg and whispered "please master Sadler, I miss you so bad it's dripping down my legs" Umm dirty little girly! And yes I did take her out at the first time I could and we had a quickie against the wall in the gardens of the palace.

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex goddess?

Very sure princess xx

30. What's the dirtiest thing someone's ever said to you during sex?

Not during we don't take alot during but 'my waters getting a little cold maybe you could help me warm it up' as she was sat in the bath. Yeah.... That was a good day.

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

No!

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No!

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their "third"?

No thank you I am good

34. What's the most flattering thing someone's said about your naked body?

She usually just says how beautiful I am and how much she loves me which in happy with

35. When's the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

I do not have sex dreams. I have a sexy wife you see I just kinda turn over tap her and go hey... Sexy time?

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Weird! And I don't wanna be involved ever

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

Well... I don't think so, I wouldn't say I have.

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

I don't like one night stands

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

Myself? Ohh like five minutes, with y/n well it depends how mean she is to me

40. What's the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Water! Or we'll when stuff is wet like a wet corset, a wet dress, wet hair just ummm something about it is so hot

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member? Close friends yes! Anyone my age in the house hold till they hired y/n.a

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

Yes. Many times

43. When's the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

Many years ago before my first time

44. What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you while hooking up?

I have cum to early alot and uhhh I think that's it

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

Very much and I know she liked watching too but I adore to watch her

46. What's the dirtiest text you've ever sent or received?

She once sent me a note that said she was in the bathroom waiting for me in a bubble bath

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Uhhh windows

48. What's your favourite blowjob technique?

I like when she licks

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Dominant but... I'm happy to switch

50. Is there anything you won't do in bed?

Nothing with her butt just... Not somewhere I wanna go

51. What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?

Ummm watching her bathe in her sexy bubble bath and then tieing her naughty little hands together and having my way with her anyway I want

52. How many people have you slept with?

One! And I indent to keep it that way

53. Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?

Uuhh the river? Royal gardens? A coach? The woods?

54. What's your favourite part of Y/n's body?

Uuuummmm I love her waist. I like looking at it, stroking it, and caressing it

55. Have you ever had anal sex? Nope!

56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose? Nothing. Or her little robe and nothing else

57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched?

I like when she touches my leg or my hand

58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Our bed of course it's the cosiest

59. When did you first had sex?

She had been with us about a month and I had loved her since the moment I saw her and I decided one night to just go for it and we had sex on the floor and told each other how much we loved the other

60. What's the best sex you've ever had?

The night of our wedding, or the first time I can't decide

61. What's your favourite position?

.... I like, when she faces away as I'm on my knees and she sits her butt on my crotch don't know what it's called but I like it.

62. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Weirdly never.

63. Do you watch porn?

I watch y/n

64. What kind of porn do you watch?

Y/n

65. How often do you masturbate? I used to every night but I never do now I have y/n

66. Name a sex position you'd like to try? I would like to try... Hummm uuuhhh I don't know I don't know any we haven't done maybe I need to learn more sex positions.

67. Do you prefer to give or receive?

I like to receive, I like when she spoils me.

68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

A few times yes

69. What's the most sex you've had in a day?

Sixteen times!

70. Are you loud or quiet during sex? We are both fairly quiet

71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay? No. Seems like a bad idea

72. What's the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone? Personality and how snuggly they are

73. Would you say you have any fetishes?

I don't think so no 74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go?

As far as you want me too princess xx

75. What's your favourite toy?

Rope

76. Do you ever read erotic fiction?

Not really, I make up my own

77. Have you joined the mile high club? Nope

78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands? I know I can

79. Would you say you're kinky? Eh? Kinda

80. Do you enjoy shower sex? I like bath sex yes!

81. Where's the weirdest place you've ever masturbated? Many cupboards and little places but the weirdest I think was a little corner of the gardens

82. Do you like to be spanked? I do

83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex? No! Why would I? I have y/n.

84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish? I finished for her and let her watch and she let me watch her too in return

85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush?

I guess on y/n

86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex? Fell asleep after yes! Lots of times when she tries me out

87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

Eye contact please!

88. Do you like to kiss during sex?

Lots and lots of kisses please 89. Do you get tired after sex?

I do of she's being mean to me 90. How many positions do you think you've tried? Most of them I think

91. What's the longest you've ever gone without sex?

A year, I was so busy and I was barely home so I waited, and when I got home she couldn't walk for the next week

92. How high is your sex drive?

Fairly high

93. What's a surefire way to turn you on?

Touch me, or get in a bath or wet like seriously throw a bucket of water on yourself I'm weirdly hard! Maybe I just have a thing for water? Y/n in the bath that first maid girl washing clothes, ohh my god an I into water?

94. Sex with lights on or lights off? On else we can't see anything

95. Do you like dirty talk?

Very much

96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners? Long term

97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom? I like bottom I like giving her that power over me

98.Rough or romantic? Romantic

99. Quickie or marathon session? Quickie

100. What's the best thing about our sex life?

Awww that I adore you, your my little lady, I never even look or think k anyone else that's how lovely you are the fact it's never a no everything we discuss and we try somethings we hate others we love and I can't wait for all the other things we shall try once baby comes my beautiful wife.

[canaryatlaw]

So today started out kind of nuts but ended up being pretty good overall. The craziness is my fault of course, mine and my lazy ass. I did convince myself to get up, but said I'd uber in so I could sleep till 7:40. Then I apparently overslept that alarm and woke up at 8:40. FUCK. Like more than normal fuck because I'm supposed to do two hearings this morning. Dammit. So I scramble to get ready and am out the door in 20 minutes, grab an uber and get there by 9:40. I run upstairs, literally because the elevators were inconveniently being ridiculously slow, like even worse than normal, and I just couldn't deal so I walked up 3 flights of stairs (which is like, nuts for me because walking up stairs still gives me ridiculous shin splints despite the fact that I do it on a daily basis), ran to my office and printed off my questions, then ran back down the stairs and into the courtroom. The worker on the first hearing was running late (a very typical occurrence) so I got some time to go over my questions with my boss which was helpful. So we hung out and they did a couple other cases, then the worker for the second one showed up so I talked to her and filled in some blanks, then not too long after that case got called. The ASA let me take the lead because they're cool about that, and they still get to ask questions anyway so it's not a big deal, especially on cases that aren't contested. It went pretty well, I thought that I was very thorough (I had a lot of notes) and afterwards the state didn't have any follow up questions which meant I covered everything they wanted to know too, and that was the entire hearing! So that was cool. That girl is apparently getting her life together after being on run and prostituting herself for a good while, she's set to move into a TLP apartment Monday and is looking to get her GED, so props to her. We ended up doing the next case right after, which was less complicated with details. He is also doing well, majorly because he just graduated from high school last week which might not seem like much, but trust me it is a MAJOR accomplishment for a kid in the foster care system (which is very sad, but that's another conversation), especially one that has a learning disability. So yeah, it was a morning of good hearings and I went back upstairs feeling good about it. I wrote up my notes from the hearings before turning to the other assignments I had (which I may recount slightly out of order). I knew I had to call "juvie" for the never ending interview saga, which I wasn't sure how to handle because I faxed them the request on Tuesday for today and asked them to call me to schedule a time, but of course I wasn't there yesterday, so my not hearing from them could've been partially my fault. So I call and just say I hadn't heard from them (true) and got sent through a few people, and I recounted the actions I took Tuesday, and they were just like "yeah we never got your fax" despite the fact that I confirmed with them I faxed it to the right number addressed to the right person, and had confirmation it went through. To their credit they did let me set up an interview for tomorrow morning anyway, they were like "we're going outside protocol here" and I felt like saying yeah well it's not my fault YOU KEEP LOSING EVERYTHING I FAX YOU. So I was somewhat frustrated with all of it, but ultimately just happy I got the interview for sure scheduled with a confirmation and everything, and I got it done before I left being that tomorrow is my last day before I go on vacation, and she needed it done before the time I come back and I really didn't want to have to return it to her being like "sorry I tried but failed." So I'm glad I don't have to do that. Most of the rest of my day consisted of prison phone calls, I got through about 33 of them I believe (there's 101). It was mostly more of the same, their plot to get her bailed out fell apart, then she went to court the next day and asked for house arrest so she could "be with her kids" despite the fact that she's not supposed to have custody of any of her kids!!! But the judge was like "you've been in jail all these years already, your kids don't need you" and proceeded to raise her bond from $1500 to $7500, which of course is gonna making bailing her out a LOT harder. Then the boyfriend tells her "her lawyer" called and was asking about the kids and everything and she flips out and was like "don't tell that bitch anything, she's working with the judge to send DCFS after me." Like lady, are you serious? This is your fucking lawyer. And she's like hardcore cursing her out and saying all these terrible things about her and I'm just like Jesus Christ and you really think she's working with the judge??? You're actually insane. And she just continues to say more stupidly incriminating things like "take my daughter with you when you come to visit me so if DCFS asks you can use that as an excuse." Like, lol, you're really stupid aren't you? The ultimate irritation came when I was talking to the lawyer on the case and I found out that despite the judge saying it was gonna be a class 2 felony and she was facing 4-15 years in prison (because that's what happens when you have EIGHT serious shoplifting offenses) she somehow got to plead guilty and got off with a 90 day sentence, which was effectively time served and she got out in January. Like, seriously? That's so fucked up, and now she's out running around on drugs and fucking up her kids. Lovely. The other assignment I did during the day was just some motions for one of the other attorneys, they were to advance and reset some cases for two dates she's not gonna be here, so it was just a matter of changing the info on each of them to fit the specific case. I hadn't done that kind of thing since my DCFS legal days last summer (since it's generally more what paralegals do) but I got them because I potentially could've presented them, but I'm gonna be out next week so I couldn't (they would've been super boring to do anyway so I don't really care). So those were pretty basic. I didn't run out early to catch the 5:03 bus because I didn't need to, but then of course instead of the regular 5:13 bus the next bus wasn't until 5:24, and it doesn't tell me this until it's too late to run for the 5:03. Dammit. Those are critical minutes, traffic wise. So I head out at 5 and go to the bus stop, the homeless man who hangs out on the median (I need to ask his name) was out so I waved him over and gave him a protein bar and talked to him for a few minutes. He's a nice guy. The bus did finally come around its predicted time, and it was already more crowded than the earlier ones, and just because it was that much late it took soooo much longer to get through traffic, like it was ridiculous. If I take the 5:03 I'm home in a little over an hour, giving me ample time to get ready for my 7 pm PT appointment. With this bus, I didn't get home until 6:45, which meant I had to run into my apartment and change in approximately 3 minutes before heading right back out to make it to the PT place by 7. So that was frustrating, but oh well. PT was good, did more of the dry needling so hopefully that will help. It's weird, they're super thin so they don't really feel like getting stuck with a traditional needle at first, but then when it hits the muscle it's like this dull achy cramp feeling that is just very strange to experience. But hey, if it helps I'm all for it, I'm a tough kid anyway (my PT guy even commented I was handling it way better than most people and I was just thinking yeah because I've had to deal with much worse 😯). He was saying we should've been making more progress with pain at this point so they're gonna try some new things because he can tell I've been doing the exercises and it shouldn't still be bugging me like this, so hopefully that works. But that was good and I got appointments scheduled for the two weeks when I get back, all for 7 which means no rushed uber rides back, so I was pleased with that. Walked home, got dinner and decided to watch the latest episode of the Handmaid's tale before I lose my roommate's Hulu access for two weeks. Not that any of the episodes are particularly pleasant, but I found this one particularly uncomfortable to watch. I don't like watching the commander interact with Offred at all, especially not the way he was tonight, like she was his plaything and you could tell she was SO uncomfortable with it the entire time it just had me cringing, especially pretending to be his wife while she was gone, like I know obviously the standards are different in this crazy society but like, that's gotta be considered straight up cheating when you're taking your handmaid out for a night at a nightclub and hotel. It was just...ick. At least she got to see her friend though, and I thought the symbolism at the end with the music box was particularly well done. It's struck me before how much the wife treats Offred as if she is a child, offering her a music box that was in her room when she was a child and just generally being patronizing in the way you would with a child. It continues to be a good show though of course. After that I decided to start my rewatch of legends season 1 with a few of you, which I already recounted my thoughts of on here earlier, so I don't need to recap them here. I'm definitely going to enjoy rewatching the episodes though. I thought about rewatching season 1 last summer several times but never actually got around to it, so I'm definitely going to like seeing the episodes again. And yeah, after that I got ready for bed and ran around a bit packing things up for tomorrow. The plan is to go to work, leave there at 2:30 and uber home, pack my last minute things, uber to the airport, and get there by 4:30 for my 5:30 flight. There should be ample time to do all of this given that it won't be rush hour and neither the distance from my job to my apartment or the distance from my apartment to the airport takes a full hour. And yeah, then by 8:45 NY time (probably sooner, they always overestimate landing time on this flight I've found) I'll have touched down and will soon be on my way home! I'm so excited. My cousin's baby shower is Saturday morning, so we're definitely jumping right into exciting stuff. I'll probably spend Saturday afternoon with my sister (<3) and hopefully see Wonder Woman, then Sunday we're going into the city to see Anastasia and I'm super excited for all of it! Okay it's late so I'll end it there. Goodnight my loves. Happy Friday.

#daily journal #June 2017 #FINALLY ITS JUNE #THANK GOD

[whats-a-michaelclifford]

fun dare do all the fucking questions

YOU LIL RASCAL

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

Rock Me - 1D, Heartbreak Girl - 5SOS, Jasey Rae - 5SOS Cover, Break Out! Break Out! - ATL, Valerie - Amy Winehouse, Beside You - 5SOS

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

PHIL LESTER

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“In truth, I wasn’t being good out of love or respect for their…” - Buffering: Unshared Tales Of A Life Fully Loaded by Hannah Hart

4) What do you think about most?

Getting out of my dumb ass town. 

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

No, pft I wish

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

Besides clowns? 

7) What’s your religion?

EHHHHHH?????

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Tanning or helping with the yard

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

5SOS or 1D

10) What was the last lie you told?

I’m single

11) Do you believe in karma?

Yeah bitch you best believe

12) What does your URL mean?

Honestly though, what IS a michael clifford

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness? Loving too much… Strength? Being able to love????

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

In mainstream media? Michael Clifford. In non-main stream? Phil Lester

15) How do you vent your anger?

Writing

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

Books, lots of them

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Decently, she could use some work tho

18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate? Yelling. Love? My friends laughter

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I never met my best friends? OR What if i just don’t go back to college?

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Yes and yes

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right arm? Bookcase is out of reach. Left arm? My lamp

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

My house?

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Haunted house with clowns

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Michael CLifford, Luke Hemmings, Calum Hood, Ashton Irwin, Alex Gaskarth, Troye Sivan, ect

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

Fuck if I know. I’m just trying to survive mijo(a)

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes and I once bumped a pole but never crashed

27) What was the last movie you saw?

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY 

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Broke my big toe

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

Youtubers always

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Uh, not that I know of

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yeah, depends tho

32) What is your astrological sign?

Capricorn

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?

Toilet paper and eggs

34) Love or lust?

Love

35) In a relationship?

Sí

36) How many relationships have you had?

Counting this one 3

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Fuck if I know

38) Where is your best friend?

Their both in school

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Cuddling my girlfriend, WASUP

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

At times yes

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

GET FUCKING FIRED BISCH

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

A) No B) Make the most of it C) YES

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Any 1D or 5SOS song. So many good memories man

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Actually liking each other

45) How can I win your heart?

Buy me books, let me talk about things i love even if you don’t care ( shout out to my girlfriend @alltimeblowz who hears me constantly talk about Star Wars, Yuri on Ice and DanandPhil waaaaaayyyyyy a lot)

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Sure, look at every wonderful creation out there

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Back in 6th grade when I joined band. Best years of my life

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

To quote Dan Howell, Pinof 7, “UGH”. No but really just something really nice

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”

Heartache on The Big Screen by 5SOS i’MSORRYYY

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

Purple

51) What is your current desktop picture?

Well I have 4 different ones. Dan, Phil, a Tatinof Picture, and a screenshot ofmy instagram in Grace Helbig’s video

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Probably D*nald Tr*mp……….*cough*

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Won’t know till I hear it

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

I can motherfucking do something I don’t know WHY THIS ONE SO HARD

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

MEETING GRACE HELBIG OR PATRICK STUMP

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

There’s a couple but wouldn’t that alter time

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Hey Halsey or Michael HMU

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

England

59) Ever been on a plane?

Yeah when I was tiny

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

Halsey, Michael Clifford, Niall Horan, Zoe Sugg, AND SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SO HOT

….I DID IT!

#anon #long af #good things

[musicmanic00]

1. Depends. Actual text message. I don't have the emotional capacity to unpack that right now. But the actual last person I texted, through Snapchat, honestly I love her with my whole heart, but she's ace and we've both seen each other naked and it probably wouldn't be weird

2. We are I a weird polyamorous open relationship thing. But I hate her because she's at a Panic! At The Disco concert and I'm not

3. Entirely depends on the drug. Weed who gives a fuck. Acid, go for it. But meth, cocaine, or heroine I'm not about.

4. Eight letters. And I hate it. I hate anything thing me to family

5. Sober, was just a goodbye kiss

6. Yes. Definitely. Some I got but fucked up. Some I should have gone after but avoided.

7. You see that's a deeply personal matter of a close friend and not my story to tell. The second to last message I received was "Not a whole penis" and you'll have to ask for that story

8. Who the fuck knows it's been a lot

9. My front door

10. 6 years ago and hopefully never again

11. Literally whatever liquid I can, that's not coffee

12. My floor, cause you know, it's cosy

13. I'm on the autistic spectrum with sever clinical depression and crippling anxiety, existing is hard with other people. But poly and open and loving everyone is easier

14. I would have walked that day. All my problems would be gone. But I wouldn't have fixed things with someone so who knows. Fixing someone I hurt and who hurt me, or a stable life elsewhere

15. If I'm locked anywhere it's a problem, will lose my mind

16. Sunny and warm it's too cold and dreary in this state for rain to be fun

17. No, and that's weird because its basic as fuck

18. Pajama pants

19. Ummm idk what kinda relationship it could be but who knows

20. A few actually, some romantically, some platonically, and some just want to fuck me

21. Nope, not first, middle, or last names even

22. YOU AINT MY FRIEND IF YOU STRAIGHT! By that I mean everyone's a little queer. They definitely bi af tho

23. Former employer, they weren't capable of humanity

24. I have 6 and need more, SO MANY MORE

25. At least once a day

26. Tiny mutt, had to have some kinda chiuaua

27. Half in, half out. Mainly dry enough to not soak the bath mat completely

28. Nope

29. Seeing as how my body is degrading itself I think I'm old relative to that, but I'm imortal so who the fuck is to say I'm not a tiny spec in the universe

30. I'm bad at talking, text I can do better and easier

31. Absolutely soul crushing terrible

32. Septum omly

33. Warm weather is life and if you choose cold you're insane

34. Emily and Fee mean the world to me and even though they are far away I couldn't imagine life without them. I love them with every fiber of my being

35. Fling or open relationship when I can love everyone I love

36. I'm immprtal and insane, nothing simple about it

37. Got a Snapchat of the song high hopes, but watching TV so not listening to music

38. Yes, I have soul crushing guilt

39. Emily and Fee know most of it

40. Wild crazy adventures for each of them

41. While typing this

42. My life is falling to pieces and I have no job and 5 days to find one before all hope is lost and no way to come back from it

43. I've met them once, but they designed a tattoo that is life or death important to me and they are one of the most important people in my life

44. Pretty sure I answered this but former boss. They are below worthless

45. Depends on who

46. Slightly okay but that's a false hope haha

47. Julie helped me sell things

48. Black with a rainbow dinosaur

49. Not necessarily, like they say things aren't beyond repair but they don't quite grasp the situation

50. Yep

51. Never, they crazy and don't exist sometimes but I don't hate them

52. Yep, took some serious shit to end that crap

53. Not in Ohio, but down south, when you can have a gentle rainstorm that's peaceful and can take a walk in. Up here it's all terrible and gross and you can't even enjoy it from inside

54. I'm an alcoholic so it's hard to judge, tho she does get horny when drunk and I can't handle a high sex drive

55. YEP, tho most usually find out pretty easy

56. So much so, but sometimes my body hurts too much to be comfy

57. Ask me yourself and that's obvious, I'll avoid eye contact till I know you well

58. Most of my friends are non men

59. No but I definitely could, after all I call her my fiance

60. I stopped wearing it everyday but I had some pirate bracelets that I never took off, got some jobs that made wearing them dangerous and never got back into wearing

61. Fuck yes, if the ghosts or whatever Kill me then I'm dead and my problems are gone, if not, I had a fun evening in a haunted house and I love the paranormal. Plus a million dollars to solve ALL my problems

62. Been in relationships that last year's, they were terrible, been in short relationships that were wonderful, all depends on the people

63. Nope, single back then

64. I find it comfortin

65. A cat stretched to get scritches, and was too busy in bliss to notice they we're stepping and fell off the counter, then immediatly upon getting themself back together, jump back up for scritches

66. 22, 23, and 32, those the last one kissed me

67. Do them myself obviously, fuck that money bullshit

68. Idk why but first thing to come to mind was zebra

69. None on my car, they all on my shitty computer

70. Probably lil Wayne, used to like a few Luke Bryan songs but the work dj ruined them

71. Is blackberry still a thing? Android for sure, no apple

72. About a year ago, on a wild adventure

73. Hard pass

74. I think grey, but you can't see them, so many gay and emo flags and posters, plus an octopus tapestry

75. 23

76. Not at all

77. :( No

78. Kjs

79. Nope!

80. South Carolina and the border of Georgia and Florida

81. The moon is gay and witchy

82. Absolutely not haha

83. I hop to never see them again

84. Does pep band count?

85. Into the spiderverse

86. Nope

87. Eithers fine but good like finding heels in men's 15

88. Yeah, how old is this ask chain?

89. I hated my curly hair and spent years keeping it down, not that I'm not against it, it won't curl anymore

90. Ran away but was always captured

91. Any and all, tho haven't swam in over a year...

92. Yessss

93. Nooooo

94. It's complicated

95. CRYING

96. Labor day fireworks show

97. Google pixel has a dope camera

98. Still do sometimes

99. Usually when I drink I am awake until I'm sober

100. Absolutely not 101. Definitely not, but have been with someone who wanted to get pregnant, refused to have sex and got out as fast as possible 102. We R who we R 103. It's a frozen wasteland, too damn cold 104. God no, it's a dumb idea

[ghosts-of-the-midwinter-fires]

😉 q 1 till 50 😘 🤘🏻

1. Dirtiest thought I’ve had about a stranger? I’m not sure, like I don’t really find people I’ve just met like, fuckable? I feel like I’d at least like to know their name. 2. Do I prefer sex at night, midday, morning or now? Um, all the time pls. 3. My favourite way to be seduced? Smiles, smiles melt me. Smiles are seductive. Smiling. 4. The dirtiest fantasy I’ve had at work? It’s not really that dirty but you people reblog a lot of porn so I’m kinda like “I’m about the right height to fuck someone over this counter”. 5. How would I dominate my boss if given the chance? He’s my uncle so I wouldn’t. I’m also straight so lucky me. 6. What do I do when I get horny in public? Desperately try to tuck my penis away without drawing attention to myself because we can’t have that thing on display for everyone7. Have I ever masturbated in a public bathroom? Not that I can think of 8. Weirdest thing I’ve thought about while touching myself? Um, I used to get weird sexual gratification out of my own self harm? That’s weird. 9. Strangest prop I’ve used to get off? I’ve never used anything, perks of a penis I suppose. And I have a virgin butthole, pretty boring eh? 10. Do I remember the first time I felt aroused? Um, 2005(?) Patrica Velàsquez in the The mummy (1999)11. Who gave me my first orgasm? Me 12. Do I remember what it felt like? Um so amazing it made me a chronic masturbator for like 3 years13. Have I ever had sex with someone who’s name I never knew? Nah, the least I can do is know their name. 14. Favourite thing about a quickie? Um, they’re usually really aggressive and passionate, and it doesn’t take up too much of a busy day15. Most sexually daring thing I’ve ever done? Idk, my ex was into some kinky things so a lot of that was very daring. 16. Ever fantasised about a teacher? I had a really hot goth/punk biology teacher in high school, and she had the most amazing ginger hair. Urgh she looked good in fishnets. What a babe. 17. Do I ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks? Nah not really. 18. Then imagine in dirty detail what it would be like to fuck them? I seen a girl fight with another girl in high school and she looked so amazing and graceful as she done it I think that was the only time I mentally striped and when “god that was fucking hot pls” 19. Have I ever kissed someone of the same sex? In drama class in 4th year a friend and I had to for like acting purposes, does that count? Only a lil peck though. 20. What inspires me to make the first move? Um, usually an overwhelming combination of “if not now, when?” And “yeah they’re cool with that”21. In my opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed? To be good in bed you should always make sure she cums a minimum of 4 times before you’re even close to feeling like you’re there. And sex shouldn’t finish just because I’m finished. Like find something to satisfy your partner for 5 minutes and you’ll be ready to go again tbh. 22. Have I ever cheated on a partner because I couldn’t help myself? Absolutely never in my life have I ever been close to or thought about cheating on someone I’m with. No one else matters to me when I’m with someone. Bad terms or good terms loyalty always stands. 23. Have i ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush? What an odd way to word this question, but no. 24. Do I have a go-to masturbation fantasy? Nah it changes all the time, right now. 25. What porn turns me on? See, I think professional porn is too artificial so see as long as it’s kinda like people actually enjoying themselves? Then my penis is good to go. 26. Have I ever had sex with my eyes closed? Sometimes when sex feels so good it’s impossible not to close your eyes for a second but eye contact during pre sex/ sex and afterwards is so fucking attractive and makes it so much better 27. Have I ever blindfolded or handcuffed a partner? Of course, and vice versa. 28. Does dirty talk get me aroused? Yeah sure, as long as it’s not cringey. 29. Am I sure about that? Yep, hard as an iron girder. 30. The dirtiest thing someone’s said to me during sex? Oh that’s a difficult one, but to not damage confidentiality I’ll keep that private ;)31. Have I ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing? Nope, that’s weird. 32. Ever watched a couple having sex with their permission? Nope to that one too. 33. How would I respond if a couple asked me to be their “third”? It depends, it would need to come up for me to know for sure. I’d hate to make the other person self conscious. 34. Most flattering thing someone’s said about my naked body? I’m not as in shape as I used to be but my dick has had a compliment or two. 35. Last time I had a vivid sex dream? Oh jeez it’s been months. Like before I split from my ex in September. My sub conscious isn’t as horny as the rest of me I suppose. 36. What do I think an orgy would be like? A bad penis to vagina ratio with the smell of s bunch of sweaty ballsacks. 37. Have I ever propositioned a total stranger? No I’m far too ugly and nervous but I do have the charisma I imagine. 38. The ideal one-night stand? I don’t know, because if the person was so perfect and ideal only having them once wouldn’t be enough. 39. How long does it take me to get myself off? Sometimes it takes forever, sometimes not. 40. Weirdest thing that turns me on?…. someone’s taste in music, or style. Or someone’s hair, being like “that looks fun to pull”41. Ever had a naughty dream about friends or family? Certainly not about family, but I’ve had a lot of female friends that have on occasion slipped into my dreams I must confess. 42. Ever woken up humping my pillow?…. no? Do people do that? I have questions. 43. When did I last orgasm in my sleep? Never, I have never had a wet dream. You always wake up at the good bit. 44. The most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me while hooking up with someone? Um, I’m sure both my brother and my sister have walked in on me with my ex at one point. Or I accidentally got cum in their eye. 45. Do I like touching myself in front of the people I sleep with? If they’re doing it too then sure. You can even make it a competition. 46. Dirtiest text I’ve ever sent or received? Now that would be telling too much ;) 47. Professional or amateur porn? Professional is too fake. Amateur is better. 48. Favourite blowjob technique? Um, hmm, you need to get some hand and mouth in there girls. 49. Would I be a Dom or sub? I’ve only ever been a dom and submissiveness isn’t really in my nature, But it’s always enjoyable when she’s on top.50. Anything I won’t do in bed? I wouldn’t shit on someone, or be shat on I don’t think. Honestly though anything else I’m pretty much game for it.

I’m so fucking sorry I forget I have notifications off and forget to check and I’m sorry.

#me

[serialslaughters]

Jack The Ripper

Serial Killer Files, 6

Famous for terrorizing the area of Whitechapel, London in the 1880s, Jack The Ripper, also referred to as the Whitchapel Murderer, was a serial killer who was well known for his atrocious killings performed in a signature style. Despite leaving behind trails of dismembered and gruesome bodies, the notorious serial killer was careful never to leave anything behind that could expose his identity. To this day, the world’s most notorious serial killer, Jack the Ripper, is a mysterious and unidentified individual who has baffled investigators for years and continues to haunt history. 

While evidence has lead many to believe that Jack the Ripper has killed only five people, now known as the canonical five, the Ripper himself claims to have taken the lives of up to 11 women. All five of the canonical victims were prostitutes, due to the living conditions and economical status of the Whitechapel district where it was not uncommon for women to turn to prostitution as a means of survival. Prior to modern day intrigue, Jack the Ripper was also extremely infamous during his reign of terror in Whitechapel, London. At the tine, literacy rates were increasing and the public became morbidly fascinated with The Ripper, constantly reading about him in newspapers. The public was so angry at the failed attempts to identify the killer that the home secretary and police commissioner were pressured into resigning. 

With the scene set, the timeline of the killings that had the public completely immersed in Jack The Ripper will now be discussed. Due to the possible falsehood of the 11 alleged victims that The Ripper claimed to have killed, only the five canonical victims will be covered.

August 21, 1888: The first victim of the infamous serial killer occurred at 3:40 AM, the body of Mary Ann Nichols was found in Buck’s Row in Whitechapel. The body was found by Charles Cross while he was walking along Buck’s Row with a man named Robert Paul who called for police.  Mary Ann Nichols’ body had a severe slash through the throat and she was disemboweled. It was determined that she only been dead for half an hour, which likely meant the killer was still nearby when Charles Cross found the body.

September 8, 1888: The body of Annie Chapman was found at 29 Hanbury Street. Her body was found by an elderly resident named John Davis. Chapman’s throat was sliced open and her womb was missing. The divisional police surgeon at the time, a man named Dr. George Baxter Phillips, proposed that the killer had anatomical knowledge due to the precision in which the womb was removed. This lead to the first clue - the killer was most likely a doctor, or at the very least, possessed a basic level of anatomical knowledge. 

September 27, 1888: Central News Agency receives a letter from the supposed killer. It read, “Dear Boss, I keep on hearing the police have caught me but they won’t fix me just yet. I have laughed when they look so clever and talk about being on the right track. That joke about Leather Apron gave me real fits. I am down on whores and shant quick ripping them ‘till I do get buckled. Grand work the last job was. I gave the lady no time to squeal. How can they catch me now? I love my work and want to start again. You will soon hear of me with my funny little games. I saved some of the proper red stuff in a ginger beer bottle over the last job to write with, but it went thick like glue and I can’t use it. Red ink is fit enough I hope. Ha. Ha. The next job I do I shall clip the lady’s ears off and send to the police officer just for jolly wouldn’t you. Keep this letter back till I do a bit more work then give it out straight. My knife’s so nice and sharp I want to get to work right away if I get a chance. Good luck. Yours truly, Jack the Ripper. Don’t mind giving the trade name wasn’t good enough to post this before I got all the red ink off my hands. Curse it. No luck yet. They say I’m a doctor now. Ha. Ha.”

This letter wasn’t released to the public until October 1, 1888. Many believe that this was just a letter fabricated by a journalist but the letter was released to newspapers anyway. The public stuck with the name “Jack the Ripper”, and from that point on, it became the famous nickname for the most notorious serial killer of all time.

September 30, 1888: Just 3 days later, at 1:00 AM, the body of Elizabeth Stride was found on Berner Street by a man named Louis Diemschutz. Only Stride’s throat was slit, leading police to believe that the killer was interrupted when Diemschutz approached. It was concluded that she had been dead for just half an hour when examined at 1:15 AM. Horrifyingly, just 45 minutes after the discovery of Elizabeth Stride’s body, another body was found in Mitre Square, just west of Berner Street. Catherine Eddowes, was the second victim that same night. Eddowes’ uterus and left kidney were removed and her face was severely mutilated and disfigured. Most disturbing, is the close proximity of the killings in both time and location, which very clearly presented the arrogance and brazenness of the killer. 

Somewhere between the two sites of the murders, the killer dropped one of the few solid clues that investigators and police would discover: a piece of Catherine Eddowes’ apron. The vital clue was found by Alfred Long on the doorway of an apartment on Goulston Street, just east of the Eddowes murder site. Written with red chalk was a message on the apron that read, “The Juwes are the men that will not be blame for nothing”, a sign of anti-antisemitism that was popular during that time. However, it’s not the message that was most perplexing, but the direction in which the apron was found. Goulston Street was east of the Eddowes murder sight, meaning the apron was dropped when the killer was going in direction of the Stride murder site. This unusual decision meant the brazen killer was willingly entering an area that was packed with police officers and witnesses. This might mean that the killer lived in the East London area, which might explain the motive for entering such a dangerous situation.

Later, police receive a postcard dated “October 1, 1888″ from someone claiming to be Jack the Ripper, with similar handwriting. It read, “I was not codding, dear old Boss, when I have you the tip. You’ll hear about Saucy Jacky’s work tomorrow. Double event this time. Number one squealed a bit, couldn’t finish straight off had not the time to get ears for police. Thanks for keeping last letter back till I got to work again. Jack the Ripper.” 

While it has not been confirmed, many sources state that this letter was received the morning directly after the two murders. If this is true, it would mean that none of the public knew about the double killings and couldn’t have possibly written the letter, leaving only the actual killer to have sent it. 

November 9, 1888: On the ninth of November, the final canonical victim, Mary Kelly, was found at 13 Millers Court in her bed by her landlord’s assistant. Her body was “skinned down” and disemboweled. The landlord described the state of the body as, “The sigh that we saw I cannot drive away from my mind. It looked more like the work of a devil than of man.” 

With the five canonical victims dead, the timeline is now concluded. These are the events that follow. 

Police began to gather eyewitness testimonies of the monstrous man. From these interrogations, a rough visual description can be envisioned. Jack the Ripper allegedly appeared to be between 25-35 years old, roughly 5′5″ - 5′7″, stocky, with a fair complexion and a mustache and was seen dressed in a dark overcoat and dark hat. His overall alleged description was said to be, “perfectly sane, frighteningly normal, and yet capable of extraordinary cruelty.” 

Having presented the timeline of the letters, clues, and five canonical victims, a list of eight compelling suspects will now be conferred, starting with the official three (the official three are according to McNaughten, lead investigator at the time). However, it is important to note that there are hundreds of likely suspects but these eight are the most likely. Additionally, the top three official suspects are not widely believed to be the actual Ripper but are still going to be listed due to their status.

Suspect #1 - Montague Johnson Druitt. Druitt was a barrister who allegedly had an uncle and cousin that were doctors. Druitt died around age forty and had an interest in medicine and surgery. Montague supposedly lived with his cousin who practiced medicine close to where the Whitechapel murders occurred. Furthermore, Montague’s mother had gone insane just a month before the murder of the first canonical victim and he had written in a note that he feared he was also going insane. On December 3, 1888, just four weeks after the murder of the last canonical victim, Druitt’s body was mysteriously found floating in the Thames River. According to McNaughten’s notes, even Druitt’s family believed he was Jack the Ripper.

Suspect #2 - Michael Ostrog. Ostrog was a Russian doctor and criminal who had previously spent time in a mental asylum due to homicidal tendencies. McNaughten states that Ostrog was unable to provide strong alibis for his whereabouts during any of the five murders. He was not convicted due to a lack of sufficient evidence.

Suspect #3 - Aaron Kosminski. Kosminski was a German and Polish Jewish resident of Whitechapel, London who had spent time in a mental asylum in 1889 shortly after the last murder. Kosminski had strong hatred towards women, especially prostitutes, and spent time in asylums up until he passed away. Kosmniski also matched descriptions of Jack the Ripper from eyewitnesses. Additionally, a book published called  “Naming Jack the Ripper”, written by Russell Edwards, claims that a shawl bought at an auction proves Kosminski is the killer because of DNA evidence. The shawl was allegedly found at the murder site of Catherine Eddowes and was stained with blood and semen that matched the DNA of Kosminski’s decedents. However, it was discovered that there was a mistake made in identifying a mutation in Eddowes’ DNA. A mutation named 3.14C is very rare and found in only 1 of every 290,000 people, meaning if it were found on the shawl, it was almost guaranteed that the article of clothing belonged to Catherine Eddowes. However, the scientist that tested the DNA had mistaken 3.15C for 3.14C; 3.15C is a very common mutation and is found in 99% of individuals from European decent, meaning the DNA on the shawl could essentially belong to anyone, making it almost impossible to link it to Catherine Eddowes specifically. After this revelation, this theory was immediately debunked and skepticism reached an all time high. 

Suspect #4 - Jack the Ripper is actually a female. This theory proposes the idea that Jack the Ripper was not really a “jack” at all but a female named  “Jill the Ripper”. An investigator that studied the case during Jack the Ripper’s reign of terror also had a hunch that Jack the Ripper wasn’t a male. This would explain why the killer was able to slip through crowds of police and witnesses without being identified as the murderer because police were looking for a male. A midwife would have basic anatomical knowledge and would frequently have blood on her clothes without raising suspicion. However, it is important to note that all eyewitness testimonies point towards the killer being a male. 

Suspect #5 - Prince Albert Victor Christian Edward (the royal conspiracy). Prince Albert frequented the areas where the Whitechapel murders occurred which resulted in him contracting Syphilis, a disease that drove him to insanity. Many believe that his insanity resulted in a streak of cold blooded murders. Those who believe this theory propose the idea that he was never identified as the killer because royal aids ensured that his murder sites were clean of any evidence that would trace back to the royal family. However, there is a complete lack of evidence that supports this theory. 

Suspect #6 - Walter Sickert. Walter Sickert was a famed painter during the late 1800s and was accused of being the ripper by famous crime novelist, Patricia Cornwell. Cornwell became obsessed with proving Sickert was Jack the Ripper and spent 2 million pounds in 2001 on purchasing Sickert’s paintings, writing desk, and letters. In a desperate attempt to prove her theory, she devoted her time to cutting Sickert’s paintings in half and searching for clues within the paint strokes. Cornwell claims that Sickert was obsessed with Jack the Ripper, which is true. Sickert referenced the infamous murderer several times in his work and even titled one of his paintings “Jack the Ripper’s Bedroom”. Cornwell also claims that one of Sickert’s paintings mimics the facial wounds of the fourth canonical victim. Furthermore, Patricia stated that Sickert allegedly cosplayed as the Ripper multiple times. One of Cornwell’s largest piece of evidence comes from Peter Bower, a forensic paper expert. Bower analyzed Jack the Ripper’s letters and Sickert’s letters and was able to identify them as products of a handmade paper run that only produced 24 possible sheets. Basically, the fact that both Sickert and Jack the Ripper had letters written on papers that only had 24 sheets in existence is extremely unusual. However, it’s important to note that all of Jack the Ripper’s letters are unconfirmed. 

Suspect #7 -  Joseph Barnett. Barnett is particularly suspicious because he lived with the fifth canonical victim, Mary Kelly. In fact, Barnett lived in ten different locations throughout Whitechapel, London, making him an expert on the streets and allies in the area. Furthermore, Barnett was allegedly in love with Kelly and he supposedly referred to Mary Kelly as “his wife” on November 10, 1888 even though they were just roommates. Barnett also disagreed with Kelly’s prostitute nightlife and worked hard to make enough money to keep her off the streets. Some theorize that Barnett committed the first murders to keep Barnett off the streets, which actually worked. However, when Barnett lost his job, Kelly returned to the streets to make ends meet which resulted in explosive fights and bitter tension between the two. In one instance, Mary Kelly brought home two other prostitutes which angered Joseph and resulted in a violent fight. At one point, a window was broken. Barnett packed his bags and moved out the next day and just 10 days later, Mary was found dead in her apartment. Barnett was interrogated for four hours but eventually was let go. Having resided in the building for a long period of time, Barnett would have intimate knowledge of how to unlock doors from the outside and would know Mary’s schedule and tendencies. Evidence at the scene suggested Kelly was killed in her sleep, and not by an outsider she invited in. She was wearing her nightgown and her clothing was folded neatly by her bed. Furthermore, Barnett’s association with Mary Kelly and the residents of Whitechapel would allow him to easily get close to unsuspecting victims. Jospeh’s friends also called him Jack. Further condemning evidence is his perfect match to the physical description of Jack the Ripper. The murders also stopped right after Mary Kelly died, and with his lover dead, there would be no reason to kill because there was no one to keep off the streets. 

Suspect #8 -  James Maybrick. Maybrick is the final and most popular suspect in the Jack the Ripper case, and is widely believed to be the actual killer. Maybrick’s death corresponds with the timeline of murders, as he died just one year after the final canonical victim was killed. Mayrbrick was an upperclass cotton merchant who resided in a state called the Battlecrease House in Liverpool, England. Many believe that this who actually prove that Maybrick is not the killer due to the widespread belief that Jack the Ripper was a poor local and not a wealthy merchant. However, it is important to note that all the murders occurred on weekends and it would make sense that a wealthy man could travel by train on his days off. Maybrick could also benefit from the murders not being in his local area. However, the most damning piece of evidence that makes Maybrick the most likely suspect is a diary found underneath the floorboards of his estate. In the diary, a page reads, “I give my name that all know of me, so history do tell, what love can do to a gentleman born. Yours truly, Jack the Ripper.” Also, the diary supposedly contained intimate details of the murders and according to historians, it matches the era of the Jack the Ripper murders.

However, this theory begins to unravel dramatically when the inquiry of how the diary was found comes up. The diary was supposedly found by a man named Mike Barrett who at one point claimed that he had fabricated the entire diary, only to retract his statement later. When asked about the diary, Barrett claimed he was going through a rough divorce and did not give further details. But if the diary really was found underneath the floorboards, this would be almost concrete evidence that James Maybrick is, in fact, Jack the Ripper. 

Another piece of evidence is an old gold pocket watch with letters carved into the back. The letters were the initials of the five canonical victims, with the short message, “I am Jack. J Maybrick” etched in below them. The scratches were confirmed to have not been done in modern times. The pocket watch was purchased for 225 pounds in 1846, with no further information on the matter. With all the confusion and jumbled information surrounding this theory, it’s hard to tell if Maybrick really is Jack the Ripper or not. While it is widely believed that he is, many also don’t think Maybrick had anything to do with it at all. His home was very far from the location of the murders and with his wealth and steady job, there would be no reason for the successful merchant to murder innocent women in the Whitechapel district.

With all the information, murders, and suspects listed, Jack the Ripper’s case has now been concluded. While there are many compelling suspects and interesting pieces of evidence, we are still a long way from identifying the notorious killer and the case of Jack the Ripper may forever remain unsolved.