#my entire childhood!!! honestly the costumes still slap

[random-mha-thoughts]

Truth (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Crack, fluff

Summary: By some dumb luck, Todoroki’s drank some truth serum, and it’s the only way anyone finally hears what’s on his mind aka my excuse for making Todo act like an incorrect meme

Word count: 1,802

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

a/n: I’m back on my Todoroki BS.  Only because I had no other ideas and I was babysitting most of the day so I had to pick something that I can passively write without any intense feelings.  And because Todo deserves some crack.  Not terribly proud of it, but it was a good idea in my head so, here ya go.

"It was a mistake!  Honestly!" Hatsume cries, backed against the wall at the group of students confronting her.

"Well, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIX IT!" Bakugou yells, the most ticked off of all of them, sparks popping in his palms.

"How could you do something so irresponsible?  What were you even doing with something like that?"  Iida reprimands the girl, chopping the air as usual.

I was planning on asking Hastume for some adjustments on my hero costume, but instead I'm standing in the doorway watching a confrontation.  In addition to the two boys, Uraraka and Midoriya stand behind them, slightly flustered but still cross.  Yaoyorozu stands with them, arms crossed over her chest in disappointment.

"Uh...?"  All of their heads snap towards me.  "What's...going on, guys?"

Before anyone has a chance to respond, Bakugou bellows, "THIS IDIOT MADE ICYHOT INTO A RUDE EMO BASTARD!"

Huh?  I blink and turn to the three standing aside for a better explanation while Iida continues reprimanding the support girl for her wrongdoings.

Yaoyorozu rubs the bridge of her nose.  "Hastume-san made a truth serum for some reason and left it in a cup of tea, which he drank."

"I thought he would've liked it to cheer him up," Uraraka twiddles her finger nervously, "He seemed more stoic and quiet than usual today.  Deku and I came for some upgrades and we saw it on the table."

"Hastume-san said I could have it, but we figured Todoroki would've liked it instead," Midoriya whines out.  "It's all my fault, I did this."

"You had no way of knowing, Midoriya, don't beat yourself up," I assure the poor boy and I quirk an eyebrow.  "But, if Hastume said you could have it, and there was a truth serum inside it, then what was she trying to...?"  I slowly turn to the girl in question.

At my train of logic, Bakugou growls and steps closer to her.  "YOU BETTER START TALKING, PINK HAIR!"

Her face becomes flustered.  "I just needed to ask him a few questions, that's all!"

"You should be ashamed of coercing your schoolmates for information like that!  That's way beyond unethical!" Iida chimes in, truly the class representative.

"Guys, why she did it is a whole side issue, the bigger thing is that she makes something to fix it," I cross my arms in front of my chest and give her a harsh stare.

Hastume waves her arms around.  "I promise it's only temporary!  It should wear off by itself in an hour or less!"

"If you're wrong, I won't have any qualms about the two of us roughing you up," I crack one of my knuckles and she nods frantically.  I turn to Bakugou.  "Wait, so what do you mean Todoroki's a 'rude, emo bastard'?"

.

"I think it's unhealthy for you to be eating all those sweets, but it's part of your quirk, so I guess you can't help it."

Frankly, Sato doesn't know how to react to that.  The confused guy was just coming out of his dorm with freshly baked cakes ready to share with his classmates when Todoroki, quite literally, violated his quirk with such a stoic expression.

"Okay, I understand the rude part," I whisper to Midoriya, covering my hand with my mouth.

"Just wait, it gets worse."

Mineta casually walks down the hall towards the two boys and waves, "What's up guys-"

Todoroki looks down at the little purple boy.  "I'd love to file a restraining order against you on behalf of every girl in this school, it's a good thing you're not pansexual or else I would've done it myself."

Mineta's jaw drops to the floor.  "I- Where-"

Kaminari laughs from behind, patting the boy's back.  "Todoroki got you good, Mineta!"

Todoroki sighs.  "I don't know how to sugarcoat this, Kaminari, but I'm afraid that being around you might make me lose brain cells.  Sero should probably tape your mouth shut.  At least then he would be a more notable classmate."

My jaw drops to the ground and I shrink back a little behind the corner so they can't see us.  "Oh...my...god."  Half of me doesn't want to go out there for fear of what he might say to me.

Kirishima eases up to the sharp-tongued boy.  "Hey, hey, where's this coming from, dude?  We're your friends."

His mismatched eyes downcast.  "Unfortunately, I was never taught how to be friendly because I was isolated for most of my childhood.  Not to mention my father isn't the most personable or kind either."

The hallways falls silent.  What is anyone supposed to say in that situation?

"I'm going to bed.  At least in sleep, I can feel a percentage of the sweet relief of death," Todoroki casually turns on his heels and walks off.

"Holy shit, it's worse than I thought," I mutter.  I've always wondered what's inside the usually quiet and proper boy's head, but this is something else.

"OI, ICYHOT!"

"For fuck's sake, Bakugou, you couldn't have just left him alone?!" I whisper-yell at his sheer stupidity.

Todoroki turns around to face the spiky-haired hothead.  "Yes, Pomeranian?"

Bakugou growls at the insult.  "I'm still not finished with you from earlier!"

There's still the same cold expression on his face.  "What more do you want?  Do you want me to say that if I wasn't hesitant to use my left side at the Sport Festival, I would've been the 1st place winner?"

The ash blond pops sparks from his hands.  "You wanna test that theory out right now?!"

Todoroki puts his hands in his pockets, still keeping his cool.  "I'd rather not waste my energy ruining this building to appease someone with a deeply rooted inferiority complex."

"You better shut up before I smash your face in!"  He bends his legs into position, about to spring.

"And I'd still be considered better looking than you."

I come out from behind the wall to calm the situation down before it escalates anymore.  "Alright, that's enough."  I glare at Bakugou.  "You didn't need to egg him on, stupid, you just made it worse for yourself."  I brace myself and turn around.  "Todoroki, just-"

"I like you."

The rest of my words catch in my throat.  Huh?  I had to look up to make sure he was looking at me.

His heterochromatic gaze fixes on me.  "You can be just as aggressive as Bakugou at times, and it's frustrating how you have so much potential to be a great hero with such a strong quirk, not to mention that you can be such a mess during practice."  He steps towards me so we're standing arm's length away.  "But you're charming and sweet as well.  Just seeing you smiling makes me feel warm on the inside.  Sometime's it's the only thing I need to see in the morning to make my day better.  And I can look into your eyes..."  He trails off suddenly.

My heart's already pounding and I can feel the heat from my blush reach my ears.  When he stops, I finally let out a breath.  I thought I was going to die if he continued.

Todoroki's expression morphs into slight confusion before his eyes widen and he looks around at all the slack-jaws and smirks around us.  A blush as intensely red as his left side colors his entire face and neck.  When his gaze finally rounds back to me, he nearly bursts into flames and slaps a hand over his mouth.  "Pardon me," he murmurs before retreating to his room.

I'm dizzy enough that I could faint, from both embarrassment and joy that the guy I like has feelings for me too.  My legs are about to give out until Midoriya holds me up.  "I guess...the serum's...worn off now," I let out shakily.

"Are you okay?"  The freckled boy looks concerned trying to balance me back onto my feet.

I nod, my thoughts a little scrambled, but I still need to address the rest of the students.  "So, uh, Todoroki was under a truth serum, which is why this all happened.  Just thought I'd let you guys know."  I lean over Midoriya's ear.  "Can you take care of the rest?"  The weightlessness in my stomach tells me I should go knock on a certain someone's door and talk to them.

The boy nods and I stumble over to Todoroki's door, leaving Iida's signature class rep voice to deal with damage control.  I take a deep breath to calm my rattled nerves as I stand there.  I'd say we're friends by association, since we both talk to Midoriya, but we've never really been alone to talk before.  Somehow, I'd developed a crush on him, but I'd never really planned on confessing.

I gather my wits and knock gently.  "Todoroki?  It's me."

There's rustling of clothes very close to the door, which means he was probably sitting behind it, before the boy opens it a crack.  He clears his throat, "Yes?"

It's cute how he's trying to sound like everything's normal.  "Can I come in?  I'd like to talk."

Without another word, he opens the door fully to let me in, closing it behind me.  He doesn't meet my eyes, trying to hide his face behind a closed fist.  The image of this normally cool guy falling apart embarrassed is priceless.  "I'm...sorry...I embarrassed you.  And I wasn't very kind to everyone else either.  My behavior was completely out of line, and I'd like to take back everything-"

"You want to take back what you said about me, too?"

His face turns even more crimson.  "If it makes you uncomfortable..."

"It doesn't, actually."

The boy finally looks at me, childish shock clear in his eyes.  It makes me want to hug him and not let go.  "Really?"

I nod, "I'm just a little upset that you cut off where you did."  I close the distance between us and tug the fabric on his sleeve.  "What did you want to say about my eyes?"

It seems I might have asked too much of him.  He's the complete opposite of how he was 2 minutes ago, but that's what makes this more genuine to me.  "I...was going to say...I can look into your eyes...all day."  And he finally does so.  "Because they hold the entire soul of the person I'd like to get to know."

My heart flutters at the cliche but sweet line and throw my arms around him.  "Was that so hard to say?" I tease.

"Somewhat..."

I rest my head on his shoulder.  "I like you too, Todoroki."  The words coming out of my mouth feels almost like a liberation.  And when his stiff figure finally loosens up to envelop me too, I smile.  "You know, you're gonna have to apologize to everyone formally tomorrow."

His body becomes hotter.  "I know..."

#todoroki x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki shouto #todoroki fluff #crack #todoroki imagine #todoroki scenario #gender neutral reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

[quantumlasange]

A more refined and accurate version of my top 50 Albums of all time in no real order. This time I’m gonna go into some more detail for my choices.  So if you wanna read that it’ll be after the line break.

1. Graceland - Paul Simon. This is the only album I have on CD, Cassette and Vinyl. It’s honestly a perfect album. I don’t really like ‘That Was Your Mother’ on it’s own but when hearing it as part of the album it’s great.

2. Abbey Road - The Beatles. My favorite Beatles album and I love how the B-side is knows as The Abbey Road Medley. It also has Ringo’s only Drum Solo in the entire Beatles catalog and we all know Ringo is the best Beatle. I have it on Vinyl.

3. In Step - Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble. Stevie Ray Vaughan is by far my favorite guitarist of all time. Every track on this album kicks ass and he put his heart and soul into every note he played. I have it on Vinyl.

4. Brothers In Arms - Dire Straits. Over all a great little rock album. I find a lot of the songs to be comforting in their own way,  like “So Far Away” and “Brothers In Arms” are very comforting to me. I have it on Vinyl.

5. Winelight - Grover Washington Jr. By God this album is fucking Sexy, like holy shit. This is a more recent listen but I was missing out just listening to “Just the Two of Us” (Featuring Vocals by Bill Withers).

6. Watching You Watching Me - Bill Withers. Nelson George said that this album was I quote "full of little pleasures" and he’s damned right. There is not a single song on this album I don’t like, by far my favorite R&B album of all time. I have it on Vinyl.

7. Future Development - Del the Funky Homosapien. My favorite Hip Hop/Rap album ever. Del’s flows and rhymes are on point throughout the whole album.

8. Spontaneous Inventions - Bobby McFerrin. A live album that you wouldn’t think was live since there’s little to no crowd noise. A great Vocal Jazz album showcasing how Bobby McFerrin can use his voice as an instrument all it’s own. I have it on Vinyl.

9. Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of "Weird Al" Yankovic. This is kinda cheating since it’s a Box Set of every album Weird Al made and an extra album with unreleased stuff. But I can’t choose just one Weird Al album so this will have to do.

10. The Wall - Pink Floyd. This whole Album really resonates with me and helped me understand my depression after I dropped out of college. It really has a place in my life. I have it on Vinyl.

11. Kilimanjaro - The Rippingtons. A fantastic Smooth Jazz / Jazz Fusion album. I really like Jazz Fusion and this is a great example of it.  I have it on Vinyl.

12. Dreamland - Black Box. An Italo house/Eurodance album that’s my favorite in the whole house genre. Some great dance tracks on this. I have it on Vinyl.

13. Tourist in Paradise - The Rippingtons. This album came out right after Kilimanjaro and is another great example of Smooth Jazz Fusion. I have it on Vinyl.

14. Teddy Pendergrass - Teddy Pendergrass. His debut solo album and a fantastic piece of R&B. It also has the  greatest break-up song ever “I Don’t Love You Anymore”. I have it on Vinyl.

15. S.O.S - The S.O.S Band. Their first album, a disco album that came out in 1980 after disco died in the USA. Was really big in Nighclubs and is a good album aside from "S.O.S. (Reprise)" which just sucks.  I have it on Vinyl.

16. Purple Rain - Prince. This album is great. The guitar solo on “Purple Rain” is so good it could bring peace to the world.  I have it on Vinyl.

17.  Feels So Good - Chuck Mangione. A fantastic Smooth Jazz / Easy Listning. album "Hide and Seek (Ready or Not Here I Come)", “Feels So Good” and "The XIth Commandment" are just outstanding. I have it on Vinyl.

18. Elementary - Wah Wah Watson. Melvin M. Ragin’s only solo album. This is pure Jazz Funk at it’s best. I’ve used this album cover as an Icon online for years, I love it. I have it on Vinyl.

19. Rumours - Feetwood Mac. There’s only one track on this album that I don’t like and it’s "Oh Daddy”. I feel like that song just brings the whole album down emotionally. Other wise this albums pretty damn good. I have it on Vinyl.

20. Deltron 3030 - Deltron 3030. Del the Funky Homosapien, producer Dan the Automator, and DJ Kid Koala made a fantastic Hip-Hop/Rap opera Concept album. The story of a city in the dystopian year of 3030. 

21. Kisses on The Bottom - Paul McCartney. I caught this at like 2am on PBS' Great Performances one night in like 2013 maybe 2014 and fell in love with it. It’s mainly songs Paul McCartney grew up listening to and he wrote 2 songs in that style and it’s great.

22. Listen to the Scatman - “Scatman” John Larkin. Did you know that Scatman John was a legit Jazz Piano player? This album is just full of fantastic jazz and one kinda out of place dance song.

23. Loop Daddy II -  Marc Rebillet. Sure this is more of an EP but I put a whole Box Set on the list so shut up. Every song is a pure sexy dance groove. I love it.

24. Places and Spaces - Donald Byrd. This is 100% Pure Trumpet Jazz-Funk. This album fucking slaps hardcore. The way Donald Byrd plays the trumpet and flugelhorn is magical.

25. Whenever You Need Somebody - Rick Astley. Not only does this album have the Meme hit "Never Gonna Give You Up" it has a very heartfelt version of "When I Fall in Love". Every song is a mad banger. I have it on Vinyl.

26. Mint Jams - Casiopea. Casiopea makes some great Japanese Jazz Funk Fusion and this is by far their best album. I love me some Jazz Funk Fusion and some of the best stuff came out of Japan in the 80′s.

27. Hi-Five Soup - The Aquabats.  A great New Wave album that kids will enjoy. The Aquabats got more child friendly since they got a kids TV show but this album does have my boy Strong Bad on it. I have it on CD

28. Myths, Legends and Other Amazing Adventures, Vol. 2 - The Aquabats. An earlier Aquabats album since it’s a bunch of unreleased stuff and B-sides. “Pizza Day” speaks to my soul. I have it on CD

29. The Dance - Dave Koz. One of the first Smooth Jazz albums I ever listened to, it really helped me get into Smooth Jazz which lead me to my love of the Smooth Jazz and Jazz-Fusion. I have it on CD

30. The Corner Grocery Store - Raffi. This is an album form my childhood. I still have my VHS bootleg of Raffi on Broadway from when I was a kid. This album has my favorite song sung by Raffi, “Anansi”. 

31. Led Zeppelin 2 - Led Zeppelin. My favorite Zepplin album. “Moby Dick” is my favorite song off the album even if it’s just a big ass drum solo.  I have it on Vinyl.

32. Darkside of The Moon -  Pink Floyd. This is what I consider to be Pink Floyd’s most Jazz-Rock-Fusion oriented album. The whole albums flows together into a great soundscape. I have is on Vinyl.

33. Random Access Memories - Daft Punk. I find this to be a concept album about how Daft Punk is a pair of Robots. Part of it seems like that with the album title being a close reference to Random Access Memory aka RAM and the song title "Motherboard". A lot of the lyrics in the album make me think it has some kind of concept but that’s just me. I have this on CD

34. Thriller 25 Super Deluxe Edition - Michael Jackson.  This was the first CD I remember buying with my own money I got it at FYE. I only really listened to the songs that originally came on Thriller and not the new 2008 versions of the songs.

35. Can’t Get Enough - Barry White. This album is sexy as fuck, god be damned if you listen to this and not get turned on even slightly.

36. Larry Carlton Plays the Sound of Philadelphia. This is a great full of classic Philadelphia R&B as preformed by legendary session guitarist Larry Carton. He plays all the songs in a very Jazz like style that I just love.

37. Pure Pure - Moe Shop. A fantastic little Dance/Electronic EP. I like to call it a Future Funk EP but it’s in that vain of Vaporwave and Future Funk which are both good genres.

38. The Soundtrack to Mulan. Mulan is my favorite Disney animated movie so of course the soundtrack is on my list. I have this on cassette and it’s one of the two tapes I always listen to on long walks.

39. Every Breath You Take: The Singles - The Police. This is my other go-to cassette to listen to on long walks. This is basically the greatest hits of The Police but it’s fantastic.

40. Head Hunters - Herbie Hancock. I told you I liked Jazz-Funk Fusion right? This is perfect example of the genre made by the fantastic Jazz pianist and composer Herbie Hancock.

41. Marcos Valle - Marcos Valle (1983) Marcos Valle released a self titled album in 1970 according to Wikipedia, but I’m talking about the one from 1983. A great Brazilian Disco/Dance Bossa Nova  Samba mix album with some great dance-able tunes.

42. Homestar Runner Original Soundtrack Volume 1 (Songs, Background Music, Jingles, and Worse).

43. Homestar Runner Original Soundtrack Volume 2 (Songs, Background Music, Jingles, and Worse) .

44. Homestar Runner Original Soundtrack Volume 3 (Songs, Background Music, Jingles, and Worse) . If I could have all 3 volumes in the "HSR OST Full-On!" playlist from they would all be one entry leaving me a bit more room to play with. Plus the fact that Volume 4, a Limozeen album, a Sloshy album and a Videlectrix album are all planed for release it would help to just bundle all the Homestar Runner music together.

45. Strong Bad Sings (and Other Type Hits). This is the more “Legit”  Homestar Runner Music. I love Homestar Runner and was even featured in the 2018 Fan Costumes video so technically in a way I’m part of the Homestar Runner Cannon.

46. Fallout: New Vegas OST. My favorite Fallout game and I’d be amiss if I didn’t add the soundtrack to my list. One of my favorite games of all time even if I rarely play it.

47. Dinosaur Dracula’s Halloween & Christmas Jukebox. This is another one of those kinda cheating options since it’s two mix-tape type things. If I want to get in the Halloween or Christmas Spirit I can turn one of these Jukebox’s on and not have to worry about searching for mood music. With 100+ songs on each Jukebox I’m guaranteed good music.

48. 3 Hours of Relaxing Super Nintendo Music 1 & 2 - SNES Drunk. This is the music I turn on if I need some chill background noise or need something to fall asleep to. With a total of 6 hours of relaxing music I’m sure to fall asleep or just relax.

49. Xerf's Jazz/Fusion Mixes. So far there are 5 volumes of Japanese Jazz Fusion and like I said I like Jazz Fusion, espicaly Japanese Jazz Fusion.

50. Xerf's Jpop/AOR Mixes. There are thechinly 8 Volumes but volume 3 is just not there probbably due to copywrite. These mixes are more City Pop and older Japanese Pop, Adult-oriented rock, Funk that kinda stuff.

#top 50 #this time it's better #read more #Long Read #music

[paradisobound]

Starstruck

Summary: Phil attends all of Dan Howell’s concerts. In fact, he makes it a rule to even record every one he goes to. You could say he was in love with Dan Howell and in fact, that wouldn’t be a lie because he’s actually Dan’s fiancé. Too bad Dan’s fans see him as the creepy guy at Dan’s concerts. 

Warnings: A brief mention of sex but not explicit. 

Word Count: 3.6k 

Genre: Famous singer!Dan and present!phil 

A/N: I thought of this fic after finding out Sophie Turner attends a lot of the Jonas Brother’s Concerts because of Joe and I thought it would be cute to write a fic with a slightly different side! Happy reading :) 

**Read on Ao3**

“Dan Howell we love you!” 

“Dan! Dan! Dan!” 

Phil groaned as looked through the screen of his phone at the video recording of his fiancé up on stage. That was one thing Dan did make Phil promise to do if Phil was going to be attending every concert on his tour: record each show. 

So, Phil, being the best fiancé he could be, made a bunch of storage onto an old iPhone he found laying around their flat and proceeded to record and attend each show on Dan’s United States Tour. Tonight, they were in some place called Buffalo and Phil couldn’t really make out what was even going on here besides the fact that Canada and Niagara Falls was literally on the other side of the city. 

It was night 13 and although Phil knew Dan would never admit it, Dan was tired. Phil could tell on the screen as his body lagged a bit more than it did in rehearsals and his singing was a bit off key. Not like any of the screaming girls and boys could tell the difference but Phil had been to enough rehearsals and shows to tell with Dan was struggling a bit with his energy. 

But, it was the last song before the encore. Phil’s phone battery was struggling to hold on and his arm was getting a bit tired holding it as steady as he could for Dan’s big ‘project’ that he wants the footage for. 

“Remember that the footage has to be usable, Phil. That means I don’t want your shaky arm trying to focus on me.” 

Phil laughed in his head as he replayed Dan’s words to him the night Phil told him he was attending each show and Dan told him about his master plans—which were also a secret…to Phil anyway. Phil hadn’t pushed the matter when Dan had made it clear he didn’t want to tell anyone his plan so Phil had just went along with it. Although he does in a way wish he could know why he’s getting an arm ache every night. 

The music to Dan’s final song cuts out and everyone starts cheering. Dan’s smiling, Phil’s smiling back, knowing Dan can’t see him but he can feel it, and everything has gone perfectly once again for another night. 

Dan walks off the stage and the band continues to play and Phil sees a few people begin to trickle out from the corner of his eye but he just shrugs it off as people wanting to leave early or wanting to beat the crowd. He tries not to feel a little bit hurt when he sees some people leave the show early even though an irrational part of his brain wants people to stay and see what his fiancé is doing on the stage. 

Its radio silent in the stadium. Phil is still shocked that Dan managed to sell out a nearly 40,000 person stadium but he has. Just as people look defeated and ready to leave, Dan comes back out in an entirely new outfit and the whistles and cheers begin again. 

Dan’s final two songs are Phil’s favorite. But that’s honestly because they’re about him. If people didn’t know the meaning of Dan’s songs, they would think they were about a childhood love or even a teenage love that blossomed into more. They wouldn’t know that they, quite literally, told the world about his and Phil’s long-term relationship. 

As Dan belted out the lyrics about blue eyes and raven hair, Phil felt the hair on his arm prickle up a bit and goosebumps form. He always gets chills. He remembers when Dan first wrote the pieces and read the lyrics to Phil. Phil had cried so hard and just held Dan close as Dan just giggled and kissed his cheek. 

“Why are you crying?” 

“Because they’re beautiful, Dan.” 

“Yeah, well, you’re just as beautiful too.” 

It was cheesy. Of course it was. But in the words of another Dan lyric, “it was meant to be cheesy”. 

Just as Phil’s phone gives the final battery warning, Dan’s set finally ends and a shower of sparks sprays up as confetti falls all over the floor. Phil reached out and caught a few pieces himself and pocketed them in his jean jacket. He was saving those for his own special surprise. 

Dan left the stage and the lights slowly turned on and Phil waited for the mass crowd of girls around him to dissipate before he snuck around to the stage entrance and visited Dan in the dressing room. 

Dan’s security guards knew him by face so he didn’t have to say anything when he walked behind the stage and ended up by a door that he opened to a long hallway. When he got the dressing room and saw Dan’s name on the door, he knocked once and pressed it open. 

“Hey!” 

Phil shut the door behind him as he walked in to Dan sprawled out on the couch, his arms flopped down by his side. “You did amazing tonight.”

Dan turned his head and smiled at him, his face red and a bit sweaty, his make up a bit melted. “You’d say that even if I fucked up every song.” 

Phil walked over and sat down on the other end of the couch. Dan immediately sat up and scooted towards Phil before flopping into his chest and relaxing. Phil wrapped his arm around Dan’s upper body and pulled him close, bending down and kissing the top of his head. 

Just as Dan’s body relaxed a bit further and Phil felt the rest of his muscles tense, the door opened and Dan’s manager walked in, her phone in head. “We’re going to have to leave within the hour to get on the road towards Pittsburgh.” 

Dan just nodded and smiled at her as he pulled away from Phil and stretched. He was still fully in his costume—well, it was an outfit but it was pretty costume-like too in Phil’s opinion but the sparkles and glitter sequins on the black leather covering Dan’s arms. 

“You should get dressed,” Phil says turning to Dan. “Tonight is going to be a tour bus night and I don’t feel like having you complain the entire time that your jeans are too constricting.”

Dan scoffed and reached out, slapping his arm. “That was once and you had no problem helping me get the jeans off so I don’t want to hear you complain, you twat.” 

Phil just giggled and leaned over, capturing Dan’s lips in a quick kiss. He still gets butterflies in his chest when he kisses Dan and he loves that. He loves that Dan still has the same affect on him as he did when they were teenagers, meeting for the first time in a bar in Manchester. Dan was singing for a cover band and Phil was just a lonely college student looking to have a few drinks. 

It was really like fate that they actually took each other to bed that same night but then both simultaneously decided that being together only once wasn’t going to cut it and nearly ten years and one proposal later, here they were. Phil supporting Dan on tour as Phil works from his laptop for the BBC. 

“Maybe if you’re good we can celebrate in the hotel room tomorrow night,” Dan whispers before pressing another kiss to Phil’s lips. Phil just smiles into it and kisses back one more time for good measure. 

“Hm…maybe.” 

Dan shoves Phil back with a laugh as he finally stands up and makes his way over to his suitcase in the corner that was filled with all of his stuff. Phil watched as he took off his outfit and hung it on a hanger for the crew to grab later and then put on a pair of sweatpants and Phil’s baggy York University sweatshirt. 

Phil gave that to Dan when they first started dating so when Dan went back home at night, he would still have Phil with him. Now, Phil would love to have that hoodie back but Dan quite literally growls when Phil even makes that suggestion so he lets Dan have it now. 

They grab the rest of Dan’s stuff and then make their way out the back to their tour bus and get inside with minimal people around…thankfully. They take a seat on one of the couches on the side and Dan curls up onto Phil just as Phil wraps his arms around him once more. 

They’ll go to the bedroom soon where they’ll sleep but for right now, they were just going to sit and relax for the ride. 

***

Something surprising happens when Phil wakes up the next morning, a bit disoriented as he realizes he’s on the moving bus. He checks his phone and goes on Twitter and sees that ‘Daniel Howell Live’ is still trending on Twitter. He curiously checks the hashtag because hey, if he can find some good video and good photos for PR, he’ll have Dan’s manager ask the people for permission to use them. So he scrolls a bit and he scrolls a bit more and suddenly there is a photo of him, stood at his seat, recording the show. 

Has anyone else noticed this guy is at every show??? What does a middle aged man go to all of Dan’s shows?? That’s creepy. 

After that tweet, there was a thread and apparently there was a photo of him taken at every show and he legit didn’t know about it. He, in fact, had zero idea anyone was taking his photo and he genuinely was a bit freaked out by it. 

He read a few more tweets. 

He’s been at every show I’ve gone to! I’ve noticed him! Maybe he’s a stalker of Dan…how gross. Dan’s not gay. 

Phil had to scoff at that, loud enough that Dan turned over in his sleep and settled his weight into Phil’s chest, knocking his phone slightly out of the way so his head could rest there. “What are you laughing at?” Dan asked, his sleepy voice so slurred Phil could hardly understand what he was talking about. 

“Just some tweet I read saying you weren’t gay.” 

Dan snorted and reached up, making grabby hands for Phil’s phone so Phil handed it over and Dan sat up a bit and looked at the tweets. “These are actually kind of laughable.” 

“I know.” 

“They think you’re my stalker.” Dan laughed. “Who even pays attention to whether or not someone is at a show every night?” 

Phil shrugged because he genuinely didn’t know either. 

Phil knew that fans speculated about Dan’s sexuality though. Really, it’s been a source of talk ever since Dan’s first big break a few years back when he opened up for Taylor Swift on her European Tour. But Phil also knows that Dan has made it completely clear that he wants to keep his sexuality and his relationship with Phil only for private. And Phil completely gets that. 

They’ve been out since they started dating to close friends and family. Phil’s been out to everyone he’s known since university. But Dan has always had a bit more trouble accepting his sexuality and for that, Phil understands Dan’s hesitation when he says he’s not ready to share that side of his life yet. 

But Phil loves Dan more than anything else. He loves his smile, his dimples, his laugh, and the way he insults him when they’re being silly. But he also loves the side of Dan no one sees. The side where sex and love and intimacy is involved. He even let a selfish part of himself think about that while they were in bed together the other night. A part of him that when he fucked into Dan, he thought about how no one else knew this side of Dan: this was the side that only Phil got to see. 

“Hm…” Dan says, breaking Phil’s thoughts. “It’s quite amusing to me that so many fans are so adamant to say I’m straight. Like, I think it’s actually quite obvious that I’m gay in the same way that I know it’s obvious I like dick but…” 

Phil squeaked and pushed a hand over Dan’s mouth to get him to stop that thought right there and Dan just opened his lips and licked a fat stripe over Phil’s palm that had Phil cringing and pulling his hand away. 

“You’re easy to break, ya know.” Dan says, laying his head on Phil’s chest so he can look up him. His big brown doe eyes were like pools that Phil could get lost in. 

“It’s because I love you too much.” 

Dan kisses Phil’s chest. “Mm…love you too.” 

They get off from the bus not long after to check into their hotel and put their suitcases in their room. Afterwards, it was straight to the venue to prepare and do the soundcheck and Phil was going to walk around and explore Pittsburgh a bit more, seeing as he’s never been before. 

That night, he ends up in the same floor pit that he was in the night before, like he always is, with his phone fully charged and ready to go. He sends Dan a quick ‘good luck, i love you so much’ message before he puts his phone away and takes out the one to record. 

The show goes smoothly and everyone is happy and the night ends the same way with Phil retreating back and visiting Dan just as Dan is getting out of his costume. He leaves with Dan to go to the hotel and when they get back into the room, he goes on Twitter again and happens to see the same thread but with new photos of him. 

The man was at Pittsburgh too!! Does @danielhowell know he has a stalker?? Should we contact the police? 

Phil rolled his eyes and showed Dan the tweets to which Dan replied with an eye roll and a “for fucks sake!” before he flopped onto the bed and rolled towards Phil to snuggle. 

“Gonna have to get security after me apparently,” Phil playfully jokes. 

Dan swings his leg over Phil’s hip and sits flush on his hips as he leans down and kisses Phil soundly on the mouth. “Maybe so.” He whispers with a smirk, placing his hand on Phil’s jaw. “Maybe I’ll have to tell security that a hot guy has been chasing after me since my uni days and he follows me to all of my concerts and he also happens to be my fiancé who is fucking great in bed and…yeah, I’d really like to continue the great in bed part right about now.” 

So after a quick round of sex that left them both breathless, Phil fell asleep with the thoughts in his mind about what they were supposed to do. Dan had a two day break before his show in Albany so he hopes by then maybe everyone will forget about him. 

But somehow, he fears they won’t. 

***

Dan flubs up on accident in Albany. 

Phil doesn’t realize what he’s done until the young girl sitting next to him on the floor is pointing out the silver band on Dan’s ring finger. 

It’s his engagement ring and as soon as Phil sees it, his heart stops a bit in his chest because he knows Dan is gonna have to answer for this. He’s going to have to answer for why he suddenly is wearing a ring on that finger when he never did before…well, in the public eye anyway. 

Phil proposed to Dan over three years prior but they both agreed on not planning any of their wedding until Dan’s done with his United States tour. Phil was completely fine with that but Dan wore his ring all of the time when it was just them or he was going out with friends. 

He normally keeps it safe on the bus or in the safe in the hotel room but he must have forgotten to take it off. 

And fuck other people are pointing now and he hopes to God Dan cannot notice what is happening. 

At the end of the show, Phil practically runs to Dan’s dressing room where Dan is crying softly on the couch, his face scrunched up as he struggles to hold in the tears of guilt and frustration that he can read so clearly on Dan’s face. He runs over to him and gathers him tight as Dan lets them go and apologizes to Phil for wearing it. 

“I forgot I had it on.” Dan said through strangled tears. 

“It’s okay.” 

“But it’s not!” Dan cried. “Oh my God I’ve fucked up so bad.” 

And while that turned out to not be entirely true, Phil did reassure him as much as possible that everything was going to be okay. 

***

The tabloids talk about it first. 

Dan Howell Spotted With Mystery Ring on Left Hand in Albany Show. 

That seemed to be the headline written everywhere like a slap across the face. 

All of the fangirls were crying. What women is he secretly married to? What is that ring? When did this all happen? How could this all happen? 

Phil felt like he had whiplash reading all of the comments. 

“We’re going to have to address this,” Phil says softly. 

“I know.” 

They’re sat in a hotel in Boston now, waiting for the show to begin in a few hours. They had snuck away for a private talk and everyone had let them go. They needed to discuss this, no matter how hard it could be. 

“I know you don’t want to out us…” 

“No,” Dan says, biting his lip. “I…I think I have to.” 

“You don’t have to,” Phil says. “You could always say you want to be private and…” 

“How long is that privacy really going to last, Phil?” Dan asked, his voice defeated. “Is it going to last for a year or only for an hour? People are already commenting about you and you’ve done nothing…maybe we should just come out.” 

“If that’s what you want.” 

Dan bites his lip and bit harder and then looks Phil in the eyes as he nods. “It’s what I want.” 

“Okay,” Phil says, leaning in for a kiss. “It’s what I want too.” 

Phil wanted whatever was best for Dan and if this was best, then he wanted to go along with it. 

They made their way back to the stadium and Phil opted for standing off the side of the stage instead of in the audience, just in case. He’d seen some of Dan’s earlier shows this way but never once has he seen him play such a sold out show from the sidelines. 

They concert begins as normal and Phil notices that Dan is wearing his ring again, not taking it off and he feels his heart flutter a bit. Dan does his normal songs and routines and then before they know it, the encore is starting. 

But right before it does, Dan asks if the audience can get quiet for a moment. 

“As many of you all know,” he begins into his microphone. “The next few songs I have written are about someone very special in my life. I’ve been hiding them from you for a very long time now and I really just…don’t want to anymore. They’re such a massive part of who I am today and who I will be in the future and I don’t want to continue hiding them anymore. And it’s not fair to you guys either. 

Suddenly Dan turns to where Phil is standing and Phil feels his heart give out a bit. Dan motions for Phil to walk out and Phil looks down at his black Vibes shirt and ripped jeans and feels like he’s not properly addressed for this but he starts walking out anyway and there are suddenly cheers and yells and Phil doesn’t know what’s happening. 

“Everyone, meet my fiancé Phil.” Dan says, taking Phil’s hand and standing close to him. “You all have been talking about him quite a bit online so here is my apparent stalker who is actually just my fiancé and partner for the last 1o years.” 

Dan leans over and kisses Phil on the cheek and Phil feels a bit flush at all of this. Like he doesn’t know what’s happening anymore but he also doesn’t entirely mind it. 

“Okay, now get off the stage you dork. You’re stealing my show.” 

Dan turns to Phil and wraps a hug around him and Phil hugs him back, holding him close as he kisses Dan’s neck once and lets him go, lingering their hands touching for a bit too long as he disembarks down the stage with Dan’s security guard and stands in the audience once again, looking up at Dan with all of the love in the world. 

Social media went crazy that night, but really Phil didn’t mind. He went to the rest of the shows as promised and recorded all of them too. At the end of the tour, he finally asked Dan what the footage was for and Dan finally told him. 

“It’s for our wedding.” He says, not adding anything more. 

Phil just holds him tight and kisses his cheek some more. 

Life is going to be a bit hectic for a while, but at least he won’t be seen as the stalker fan anymore, and now he’ll be treated as Dan’s fiancé: a title he is more than proud to have. 

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #fluff #smut #angst #princesslexi763fics

[oblivion-time]

The Dead Tell No Tale

@darkpurply Couldn’t tag but there is a link! has been a wonderful artist and she made the most awesome gifs ever! Especially the last one, you should check it out!

After a charm gone wrong, Maka, Soul, Black*Star, Tsubaki, Liz, Patty, Kid and Marie end up at a haunted school. Dead bodies are around every corner and the threat of death looms over them in the shape of three ghost girls, a man with a chainsaw and other unknown threats lurking in the dark. There is no way out. No way to find each other. Only death is certain.

Pairing: SoulxMaka, LizxTsubakixBlack*Star Rating: Explicit Warnings: Dark themes, gore, character deaths. Not a story for the weak-hearted.

You can read the fic in its entirety at AO3 or FF.net

Chapter 1

Sachiko We Beg of You

Laughter resonated within their home classroom as the seven teens sat in a perfect circle. Black*Star held the candle in front of him and casted haunting shadows disarranging his usual soft and kind face into a horrifying image.

"The librarian went closer and closer…" A wide grin spread on his face as Liz used Tsuabki as a shield, peeking over her shoulder. "… she went over to the student staring out of the window. She patted the student's shoulder and the student didn't respond. The librarian shook the student's shoulder and his head fell off and landed on the ground. All of his teeth were gone and the librarian knew the tooth fairy was real."

Behind Tsubaki Liz quivered madly as she clung onto her friend.

Patty sitting beside her sister laughed like a mad man as she slapped the floor as if the story hadn't been a horror one, but a comedy.

Black*Star growled as he lowered the candle from his face, glaring at Patty. "Hey! You aren't supposed to laugh!"

"But it's funny!" Patty defended.

"It's not! Okay! Having your teeth pulled out and taken by a demon isn't funny!"

"But everybody knows the tooth fairy is good! She leaves money behind and she makes good use of your spoiled teeth."

"Yeah, that story was lame," Soul agreed as he placed his hand on Black*Star's shoulder. "The only one you managed to scary was Liz and she has been scared the whole day!"

Liz threw Soul a deadly look. "Shut up."

Soul snorted. "And what are you going to do? It's not like you will be able to walk with your shaky legs."

Liz gave him the finger.

"Honestly, will you two never make peace?" Kid shook his head slowly from his seat beside Maka. "It's just a bad ghost story. And badly told too."

"Hey!" Black*Star barked. "It was good."

Maka blew a raspberry. "Yeah right. Pausing to say if it was you in that situation you wouldn't even break a sweat is telling a story badly."

"Oh yeah? If you can tell a story better then go on right ahead!"

"Oh no, no, no, no, no!" Liz quickly protested the moment Black*Star closed his mouth, waving her hand in distress as she hid behind Tsubaki's shoulder. "Please, anybody else than Maka! Maka always tells the scariest stories ever!" Liz squeaked.

"It's alright sis," Patty soothed her sister. "It's just a story."

"Actually, this story I'm about to tell you took place within this very building." Maka said as she grabbed the candle and held it in front of her; the light casted eerie shadows on her face, deranging her usual soft cheeks and cute features.

"Please don't Maka. Can we at least turn on the light?"

"Oh no." Gently Maka shook her head. "This incident actually happened during a rainy day, just like this one, around this very time of the day, a hundred years ago."

All the teenagers' eyes were on her, holding their breaths at Maka's too serene voice.

"A teacher wandered the halls of the elementary school, making sure all the children had gone home for the day. After checking the last classroom on the top floor, she closed and locked the door." Maka imitated the creaking door. Liz squeezed her eyes tightly shut as if it would make the story disappear. Soul watched Maka's composed expression as cool terror wandered up his spine. "She headed down the stairs when suddenly―" her voice crescendo, "―the step under her foot broke and she tumbled down the stairway. She shrieked in pain and instantly, her scream came to an end. When her body hit the ground, her neck was broken."

"Is that the end?" Liz cracked her eye open.

Maka smirked, the shadows on her face made her look insane. "No. The news of the teacher's death reached the public. The community questioned the safety of the school, and eventually a decision was made. The school was closing. The principle was devastated, so ashamed his beloved school was closing. He was so ashamed of himself he covered his face with a mask and jumped off the building to his death."

"Boring!" Black*Star exclaimed, arms boastfully tied behind his head, but everybody had caught the slight tremble from his hands.

"That's not the end." Maka turned to her childhood friend. "The school was closed, but from the day of the accident and to the day the school closed, people reported hearing voices from the corridors of a female, calling for anybody still left in the building."

Soul let out a shaky breath, trying to maintain his cool and the fact that he did absolutely not under any circumstances have goose bumps on his arm hidden under his leather jacket. Maka was way too good of a storyteller. She would make even the most stable person uneasy. Even their "god" didn't want to admit it, he was scared too.

"Come on, that's just a bunch of bullshit you've come up with! That does not have a based on a true story stamp on it!" Black*Star bolstered.

"Actually anything can have a based on a true story stamp and be completely legal," Kid pitched it.

"Even if it wasn't true, you were scared," Soul spoke.

"Hey! I wasn't!"

"Oh yeah? How come you were biting your nails the entire time?" Soul grabbed Black*Star's wrist and he raised his hands, showing off the bite-damaged nails hanging loose from his fingernails and the sore irritated skin on his fingers.

Black*Star slapped Soul's hand away as their friends laughed at Black*Star and he hid his hand from them. "Uncool. You were supposed to be on my side!"

"Can we please just turn on the lights!" Liz begged, her voice shaking and her nails digging into Tsubaki's shoulder. Tsubaki empathetically patted her hand calmly.

"Okay fine." Maka stood up and she went over to the light switch just by the classroom door and flipped it on. The classroom was once again bathed in light and the rain drops dripping on the glass was seen. The classroom was already cleaned and ready for class on Monday after their Halloween festival the school held. All the scary Halloween decorations were no more around and their bloody school costumes were gone and in their lockers.

Liz let out a sigh of relief and she went slack against Tsubaki.

"That was a lot of fun!" Patty cheered as she jumped up on her legs to Maka blowing out her candle. "Maka you sure do know a lot of ghost stories!"

"Thanks. I get a lot from Miss Lady Arachne's blog and Tezca Tlipoca's work."

"Oh please can somebody stop her before nobody can shut her up," Soul muttered and he earned a hard glare from Maka, but she didn't say anything to him. Even a tease wasn't enough to earn a sound from her directed toward him.

"It's a very interesting story. You should write a script for us to play out in the theatre club," Kid suggested as he rested his chin against his palm, obviously coming up with the idea at the moment.

"That would actually be really cool—"

Soul rolled his eyes into his head as Maka gushed toward Kid when the lights went out.

Liz let out a nervous laugh. "W-w-what is going on?!"

"Who turned the lights off?!" Patty exclaimed.

"What the fuck did you do Maka?" Soul accused.

"I-I didn't do anything!" Maka defended.

"Bullshit! You're the one standing closest to the switch!" Black*Star sneered.

"It's not because of the light switch," Kid said. "Look out in the corridor! Even the lights outside are off!"

"It must be a black out or a plug must've gone." Tsubaki reasoned.

"It's not a black out. Look out of the window. The lights in the other windows are still on. A plug must've gone," Kid said.

"A plug at this hour? We didn't even use any energy sources!" Liz exclaimed. "Oh man what is going on?!"

"Everyone be quiet!" Maka overpowered her classmates' panicked voices. "Listen."

Everyone grew quiet. Liz quivered in fear as she bit on her nails, clinging onto Tsubaki as tightly as she could. Someone grew closer to Maka from the sounds of soles as quietly being dragged toward her. From the direction of the source of the sound, it belonged to someone she did not want close to her.

All the teens listened. Outside in the corridor something was dragged against the floor and then thudded. Something was dragged and then a thud rung outside in the dark corridor. The pattern repeated and it grew closer.

It was footsteps.

Soul held his breath as he stood close to Maka, ready for whatever would happen. Tsubaki grabbed Liz's hand and squeezed it tightly.

The footsteps had Soul's heart rushing within his chest and his senses in readiness as the sound of the footsteps stopped. Right outside of the classroom. The door handle was pushed down slowly and the door creaked as it slowly cracked open.

"Is aNYoNe iN tHeRE?"

The teens shrieked loudly in horror.

The lights were suddenly turned on and the door slid further open, revealing none other than their homeroom teacher, Miss Marie Mjolnir.

Miss Marie let out a hearty laughter as she rested against the door frame. "You were all so scared!" Maka went up to her teacher, earning confused glances from Soul when she gave Miss Marie a high-five and grinned just as wide.

"I call that a mission accomplished!" Maka cheered.

"Wait…! Was this just a prank?!" Liz screamed.

"Can't your teacher pull one simple prank on you?" Miss Marie grinned wide. "Oh I haven't had this much fun in a while! Maka here explained her plan and I just couldn't resist! You know I was young once and I pulled a similar prank on my classmates like this one."

"What the fuck?!" Black*Star screamed and his hands balled. "Are you trying to overshadow the mighty prankster ME! You can't overshadow the GOD of PRANKS with lame ass pranks like this!"

"Oh yeah?" Maka crossed her arms over her chest. "This was just the beginning! I still haven't forgotten the time you put a tarantula in my hair!"

"Come on, it was just a prank bro—"

Soul put his hand on Black*Star's shoulder. "I suggest you don't finish that sentence if you want to live."

Black*Star blew a raspberry. "As if she could take me down! I'm the almighty ME! Miss tiny tits has nothin' on me!"

Miss Marie clapped her hands and earned her students' attention and broke off the glare war between Maka and Black*Star that was just starting. "It's getting late and your parents must start wondering where you are. The janitor will soon come and start locking the school up."

"Wait hold on!" Maka ran over to her messenger bag she had left on her desk and swung it over her shoulder. She opened her lid and she started running her hands through it before she pulled up an odd paper doll; one that had abnormally long arms going down to the paper doll's knees. Maka turned toward Tsubaki as she held the paper in her hands. "Since this is your last day of school before you're transferring to Japan, I thought we could do this charm."

It was right. Tsubaki was transferring. Her parents had grown tired of the life in the USA and longed to return home to Japan where their older son was already studying at university. All of their friends were shocked when she broke the news to them of her transferring at the beginning of their senior year. They thought her parents would wait until she had finished high school, but they longed for Japan and their summer vacation there hadn't quenched their thirst, instead it had poured gasoline on the flame.

It was heart-breaking to lose their friend. Now Maka would no longer have her only friend she could speak Japanese with. Liz wouldn't have her best friend around and Black*Star would lose her. The Halloween festival was supposed to be a fun time with their friends and classmates, but instead it had been rough for the friend group. They were supposed to have the day of their lives and have a fun Halloween weekend together with plenty of horror movies and ghost stories and sleepovers, but instead it would be gloomy with Tsubaki packing up her last things and going on a plane to Japan.

A soft smile had spread on Tsubaki's lips as she quizzically glanced at the paper doll. "What kind of charm is it?"

"It's a charm to bind us all together. After we do this charm, we will always have a part of each other with us and we will never be apart."

Tsubaki paused before she nodded. "Okay, let's do it."

A wide smile spread on Maka's face and she nodded eagerly. "Everyone gather around in a circle."

The teens didn't question it. They all gathered in a circle and their homeroom teacher was left looking at them, until Tsubaki noticed it.

"Please join us Miss Marie," Tsubaki encouraged.

"You want me to join?"

"Of course!" Patty chirped. "You're our homeroom teacher!"

Miss Marie didn't object. Quite frankly, she was happy of the impact she had made on these kids. After she had graduated from university and gotten her first teaching job at Shibusen High, she was assigned their class, and she couldn't be happier. As much as she taught them, they taught her too. When she was in the process of divorcing her ex-husband Frank, the kids had been understanding and kind when she was more than flustered and the classes she had to cancel to meet with her divorce attorney. The kids reminded her of how foolish she had been when she was young. Letting the true love of her life go in favour of acting as a caretaker of the mentally ill man who under no circumstances wanted any help, simply wanted her company and her to take care of his home and patching him up when he had his hallucinations and psychotic breaks. She hadn't been able to take it anymore and, the kids had helped her realise the mistake she had done.

It was emotional to see one of her students leaving her. She dreaded the day of their high school graduation and she would have to let this wonderful class of bright and passionate students go.

This one last engagement in a playful charm she could do. For Tsubaki.

Black*Star and Patty made room between them for their teacher and Maka held out the paper doll toward them.

"You have to listen carefully if you want the charm to succeed. I want all of you to grab a hold of the paper doll and close your eyes. Then you'll chant Sachiko we beg of you for everyone present. That will be… six… seven… eight. Eight times."

"A perfect eight. Marvelous," Kid said pleased as he looked at his friends, earning smiles from them.

"After everyone has said it eight times, we will rip the paper doll and it will be done!" Maka cheered. "Everybody got it memorised?"

"Say Sachiko we beg of you eight times. Rip the paper doll. We got it," Soul repeated her instructions.

"Good. Now everybody grab a hold of the paper doll and close your eyes."

The classmates and their homeroom teacher grabbed a hold of the paper doll and their eyes fluttered shut. Silence filled the air as they chanted the words in their mind. Moments went by until they cracked their eyes open and Maka was first to break the silence.

"Are everybody done?" She received nods from her friends. "Then rip it!"

Everybody pulled at their piece of the doll and it tore into eight pieces.

"Good job everyone!" Maka beamed. "Now you keep your piece of the doll on you and we will forever be together forever!"

Black*Star raised his eyebrow as he peered at his piece. "How the hell will a piece of paper keep us together?"

"It doesn't work like that. It's more like a token. Whenever we look at the scrap of paper we will think of each other and everybody who were present during the charm," Kid explained with ease, and Maka nodded at the precis conclusion.

"Exactly. You can keep your piece of your paper in your student ID so you can always have it close to you."

Soul quizzically looked at the paper, but he did as Maka said and slid the paper inside of his student ID holder.

Miss Marie clapped her hands and earned the attention of the students. "We need to leave before the janitor locks us all inside. Grab your belongings and we shall all say our goodbyes outside—"

Miss Marie's voice drowned when the ground started to shake violently. Maka gasped loudly and Soul quickly latched onto her, stabilizing her from falling to the ground.

"Everybody get under the desks!" Miss Marie declared.

Lamps swung violently, one after another the cord snapped and hit the ground.

"Look out." Liz tackled Tsubaki out of the way, milliseconds away from a lamp crashing on her skull.

Floor boards creaked loudly, nails sprouting from the floor as if they were a breed of iron flowers. The wood cracked, splitting open and falling down to an endless abyss. Screams filled the air as the gap rapidly grew larger. Their desks one by one fell down into the growing hole growing rapidly closer to them. The floor underneath Soul and Maka's feet disappeared, clinging desperately onto each other as they fell. Maka reached toward their friends as if they could catch them from their fate. Tsubaki and Liz screamed at the top of their lungs as they fell down, the floor completely collapsed and all of them fell into the strange abyss.

#The Dead Tell No Tale (fic) #resbang #resbang 2018 #soul eater #soulxmaka #oblivion-time writes

[thatsamoireh]

Moncton show and meet & greet recap! I put together my thoughts about the show, my meet & greet experience, photos of the things I made them, and their reactions. It got wordy.

Here’s a preview in the form of some bald skater babies pre-hair styling.

Thoughts about the Moncton show:

We were in the third row but I was behind/between two incredibly tall women. I could see if I moved my head a lot and I still ultimately had a fantastic view but it made photos and videos pretty impossible. A couple sort of came out so I’ll post those later.

 I knew I couldn’t keep myself entirely unspoiled but I wanted to enjoy the show in the moment as much as possible. I’d let myself watch videos of VM’s solo things as much as I wanted, the group numbers fully exactly once each, and no one else’s solos at all though I knew what the songs were.

Tessa and Scott skating live in person was still a thing I wasn’t prepared for because can you ever be? They are so in tune with each other. They have to be able to do programs like MR in their sleep at this point but there were little moments and touches and looks that made it seem like a brand new unique experience at both shows I went to. MR was so intense, 4 Minutes was so playful, and Diamonds was so... elegant? Graceful? Regal? Tessa is a queen. Scott knows it, we all know it, and that dance showcases her so breathtakingly. The gasps when she skated out in her diamond bodysuit. I’ll never forget that.

I can’t get over how much FUN Scott was having, particularly during group performances and the moments that he could interact with the audience. That boy is having the time of his life and he deserves it.

I was particularly blown away by two non-VM things that took me by surprise: First, Patrick is unreal on the ice in person. Wow. WOW. Videos don’t do him justice. W O W. Second, I loved Weapo’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody so much. It’s my favorite thing they’ve ever done. More of this from them, please.

One of the best parts was my friend’s reactions during the show since she had no idea at all what was going to happen and was mostly there to humor me. After Moulin Rouge: “...Um. Okay, yeah. I ship it.” After Phantom: “Has Patrick Chan ever fallen once in his life? It feels like he was born ice skating.” After I Weapo’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody: “Okay, so now I’m crying.” After Sweet Dreams: “That was cool. Scott definitely had the best sunglasses.” She was so concerned for Meagan’s safety whenever Eric spun her around that she kept making these little alarmed noises. 

After the dance off as Elvis was talking to the crowd, Scott skated up behind him in the way that I could just tell was going to be a last show prank situation. For a hot second I thought he might pants him which would have been a terrible idea but he either poked his sides or pulled UP on the back Elvis’ pants instead. Elvis startled and turned and shot him a look that meant Scott might pay for that later. I am SO sad that Scott’s back was to me because I would have loved to have seen his face during all that.

The cheering was pretty equal so Meagan said Elvis should break the tie since it was his last show which got Elvis a big cheer too. He couldn’t/wouldn’t declare a winner so Meagan went into Dancing Queen.

Elvis got standing ovations after his skates and he was clearly getting emotional and taking it all in as his last show on the tour. I’m not sure if the crowd even really knew it was his last show after his Dragon skate yet (Meagan said it during the dance off and the crowd reaction kind of implied they maybe didn’t know), which means they all just really appreciated him that much. MR, Patrick’s Phantom, and Eric/Patrick’s Storm all also got standing o’s to my recollection. Plus the finale of course.

During the encore after a moment when they were all grouped together at center ice, Elvis started skating out like they’re supposed to but everyone else stayed put and did some ta-da arms to give him a special little last show send off. He put his hand on his heart and knelt down and it was all so sweet.

There are more things that I’m forgetting right now probably. Oops?

My Moncton meet & greet experience:

Okay. So. I make and sell amigurumi crochet dolls. Here are my Hamilton and Hocus Pocus dolls, to give you an idea of the kinds of things I make.

I decided before the tour that I’d make the nine of them to give the cast at my meet & greet in Moncton. (Thanks to @peacefulboo for the cheerleading along the way!) Here they are done but still hairless, which in my opinion is peak cuteness honestly. Please, please don’t repost any of my doll or m&g photos anywhere, thanks!

And fully done. Photos never do my dolls’ hair justice, I swear. They’re better in real life I promise. (I’ll put more close ups at the end of the post in case anyone is interested.)

I’d decided to do everyone’s Pyeongchang free skate/free dance costumes but wasn’t sure which to make for Elvis until I saw he was doing Dragon for the tour. So I did his Olympic Dragon costume, complete with his 1994 hairstyle. He was so nice and as he was putting the doll down on the table he noticed the hair and pointed it out, laughing. When he got home, he regrammed his wife’s Instagram post featuring my doll (!!!) and their dog’s reaction made my LIFE. (Screencaps near the end of this post.)

Kaitlyn and Andrew got so excited about the dolls. I told Kaitlyn that her dress ended up being the hardest by far to recreate in doll form and she slapped her hands on the table, leaned in toward me, and said, so earnestly, “IT WAS SO HARD TO MAKE IN REAL LIFE TOO!” Meanwhile Andrew was smiling hugely and moving his doll’s legs to make him dance. I love them both so much.

Meagan wondered at me about how I make things like this (which like, it’s all relative I guess because I wonder at how she can do the things she does on the ice) and Eric got a little grin and told me that he loved that I did his sheer sleeves. (I think Eric’s doll might have secretly been my favorite, or at least tied with Tessa. The stubble really made it.)

Just as we were about to get in Patrick and Kaetlyn’s line Tessa went hurrying past us out of the room with someone in a tour jacket. She was smiling, so my guess is that nature called and she couldn’t wait anymore to answer. (No idea if that’s true, just a guess.) I looked over at Scott and he didn’t look concerned, was just wandering around, joking with Patrick, drinking a smoothie.

As the cast members near the start of the lineup finished up with fans they were leaving. The m&g music was excellent (my friend got confirmation from Scott that it was Andrew’s playlist that night) and Kaitlyn was dancing as she headed for the door just as Tessa was coming back in a few minutes later. They had a little dance party (the song was Hey Ya I’m 98% sure) as they danced toward each other, danced together for few seconds laughing, and then Tessa danced all the way back to her signing table. Scott loudly announced, “MS. VIRTUE HAS RETURNED!”

Before he sat down again, Scott crept silently up behind Patrick and poked him in both of his sides, making him jump mid-sentence while talking to the fan at his table. Scott grinned, so proud of himself, and it was pretty amazing.

I stayed with my friend L in Fredericton during this trip. We’ve known each other for 18 years and she’s in the States a lot so I’ve seen her in real life several times over the years but this is the first time I’ve been able to go visit her. Due to a last minute emergency my other friend that was going to drive up from NY for the shows with me couldn’t come, so L humored me and came along since I had the extra tickets. She remembered Elvis from her childhood skating phase and she knew who VM were in the casual way many Canadians do. So she wanted photos with those three but otherwise was perfectly happy to volunteer to be my mom friend and hold the little gift bags with the dolls and the Orlando postcards I’d made up for them.

I mention this because there was someone working for the venue/tour at the head of each line to use our phones/cameras to take our one photo per person for us in order to keep the lines moving along relatively quickly (note: I never felt the slightest bit rushed and everyone was lovely). When we got to the front of Patrick and Kaetlyn’s line the woman there had apparently seen me give the others their dolls and sort of wink-wink said that if my friend wasn’t getting a photo with Patrick and Kaetlyn she could “donate” it and that I should definitely take a second photo with the two of them and their dolls, too. It was so sweet of her to suggest and the photo came out so cute that I’m gonna share it.

Most of the designated camera people actually did take multiple photos, which was nice. Before my first photo with Patrick and Kaetlyn (before I gave them the dolls) Patrick had looked over at Scott and started laughing at something he must have said that I couldn’t hear. In my couple photos, Patrick went from laughing-at-Scott smiling to normal smiling and it’s quite an adorable progression.

My friend L went up to Tessa and Scott before me. Go Your Own Way was the song currently playing and we had been dancing to it in line. As L went up for her photo she joked to Scott that she should probably stop dancing now. He got this shocked look on his face and said, “NO! Never stop dancing!” She joked that she’d be blurry for the photo if she didn’t and he admitted that she had a point.

Can I just say that Tessa Virtue is radiant in person? Like, I expected it and they are all strikingly attractive humans, but Tessa just… glows or something. And Scott’s eyes are so kind. I can get very awkward turtle meeting people I admire but Scott and Tessa have this warmth that just puts you at ease right away. 

(Please, please don’t repost any of my doll or m&g photos anywhere, thanks!)

While Tessa and Scott were signing my flag I told them I’d come up from Florida to see them and how it was the first time I’d been able to visit L in our 18 years of friendship. L and I thanked them for putting together the tour so I had the excuse. Scott perked up and said, “Oh yeah? Where in Florida?” (I’m guessing he was curious if it was near where he’d recently visited so he’d have a frame of reference? Idk.)

I gave them the dolls and they both smiled so big while examining them intensely. I was a little overwhelmed so I can’t remember what Scott said to me exactly but part of it was, “You made this?” Tessa said something about how amazing it was that I could make them and I told her I had a little business, which I thought she would appreciate in a girl power kind of way. I told her that I’d made her doll first since I suspected it would be the most complicated (little did I know how Kaitlyn’s dress would prove me so, so wrong there) and it would make or break if I was going to be able to make the rest. She said she loved the details on the dress a lot and was going to show Mathieu and that he’d love it too. (!!!)

In conclusion they are all lovely, talented angels. I had such an amazing time and the show alone was 110% worth my trip to Canada, plus I still had another show in Saint John on Tuesday and all the adventures/hangouts with L over the long weekend too.

Okay, some closeups of the dolls and progress shots. I didn’t get every angle I’d have liked and photos don’t ever do their hair justice, but in case anyone is curious. Also, pardon my crafting mess in the backgrounds.

Seventeen little ice skates starched (so the blades stay semi-firm) and drying. The eighteenth was already dry and had a leg crocheted to it as a proof of concept that it would work. It would eventually become Tessa’s leg and skate, which seemed fitting.

Details on still-headless Tessa. I used sheer organza ribbon for parts of Tessa, Scott, Eric, and Kaitlyn’s costumes.

Details on still-headless Scott.

Tessa and Scott. Tessa has a bun like Kaetlyn’s but low on the back of her head.

Some screencaps from Elvis’ regram of his wife’s Instagram post. His dog’s reaction made my LIFE.

Kaitlyn and Andrew. Andrew was the easiest doll to make, while Kaitlyn was the hardest. Oh, Weapo.

Kaitlyn’s hair, which I think was my favorite hair.

Meagan and Eric. Meagan’s back was entirely covered in those jewels and I didn’t realize I never got a photo of it.

Kaetlyn. Her dress was fun to do but the embroidery thread stitching took forever.

Kaetlyn from the back. (Her bun looks lopsided from the angle of the photo.)

Patrick. I tried my best to recreate the swoopy neckline from his free skate costume and... sort of succeeded?

If you made it this far, honestly I’m impressed. Possibly some show photos to coming soon, along with my recap/photos from Saint John. (I already posted two videos from that show in case you missed them.)

#ttyct #the thank you canada tour #ttyct 18 #ttyct18 #moncton 2018 #moncton 18 #moncton18 #ttyct recap #vm #patrick #kaetlyn #elvis #meagan #eric #kaitlyn #andrew #tessa #scott

[tumblunni]

OH FUCK U GUYS SHOULD I BUY ALL THE KINDGOM HEARTS IN A ONCENESS???

Holy jesus i knew they did hd ps4 ports of the playstation games but they ALSO added all the final mix content that engkishspeaking fans never got during my childhood? And they ALSO remade chain of memories entireky in 3d with Very Animated Ice Dad?? And they ALSO remade BBS despite it not needing it nearly as much as the old games and thet ALSO remade friggin dream drop distance which came out on a goddamn current gen console?? Like they seriously just made a non portable version?? Now all the spinoffs are on the same console at last?? Why did you not just do this in the first place?? I mean the psp and 3ds games were basically ps2 equivelant graphics and disc space anyway...

Oh and fuckin ALLLLSOOOOO

Also the final mixes of all of those! Also a movie version of the plot of khux! And also Coded and Days, which is a really big shame cos Coded is indeed sparse enough on content to deserve it but Days was my FAVOURITE GAME and it sucks its the only one that didnt get remade! I mean its in the same spinoff category as bbs and com, its not a cheapo mess like coded. Nothing else in the series deserves to be shoved in the Coded bin, even khux at least has better plot even if the backtracking and lootbox shit makes it harder to get to it...

Anyway ALSO a random new sidestory with Aqua going thru like one dungeon or somethin?? I dunno?? Its like a glorified tech demo for kh3, its just 'hey fuckin look what we can do visually on a proper ps4 game' and wow how have i never fuckin heard of this it looks so pretty!! I mean i dont know if its even more than 5 hours or somethin but.. Pretty!! And apparantly you get unlockable costumes for her or somethin? I hope they keep that feature in kh3! Itd rock if it wasnt just the main character too, and we could dress up riku and kairi and goofy and donald and roxas and axel and every the friends :3 new secret to how they defeat xehanort: slap a bow on his damn head

ALSO ALSO

All of this is available in one big bundle pack for £90 which ALSO contains literally kh3. THIS IS HOW THEYRE HANDLING PREORDERS?? THATS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO HANDLE PREORDERS!! Get a discounted price on this new game but while youre waiting for it you get to enjoy an (also discounted) giant fuckin 300 hours memory lane compilation of every damn thing from the last 15 years in one beautiful updated package. Holy fuck its like they made this for ME SPECIFICALLY!this is the perfect way to get people back into the franchise who dropped off in The Great KH3 Wait cos they couldnt afford all the damn million portables needed to gather that Dank Lore. God fuckin hell it cost more than the price of this bundle just to play any one of those games individually on some stupid retro machine i bought exclusively for that one damn game. THAT PSP STILL ROTS IN MY KITCHEN CUPBOARD YO

So

So so so so so

Guys

Please give me permission to buy this

Or like please convince me not to waste my money if you think i'd waste my money??

I really just DONT KNOW! ive been out of the fandom for so long and my last experience was really hatting BBS and feeling horribly out of place as everyone else raved about it being the best thing ever. And i know NOTHING about what kh3 is gonna be or whether its even possible for me to get back into the fandom and like.. Care about it at all again. I just got fuckin fatigued with it and my teenage years were like me clinging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails begging everyone to believe me that Its Still Good, Honestly, Its Worth It while square enix is up there all LONG LIVE THE KING and they push me off. Into a stampede of PSPs. Somehow.

And then aaargh i know i literally only came back to the fandom because organization xiii fuckin eternally holds my heart in their lil grabby hands. It was indeed a good nostalgic moment remembering how i loved them! And getting a new appreciation for Vexen and being blown away by how much he should have been my favourite but i just never got to play COM as a kid and then when i played it as an adult all the way after bbs i ended up quitting before even getting to meet half the org cos this one stupid 'defeat 99 shadows jn 99 seconds' mission kicked my ass. I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT ACTION RPGS OKAY!

Aaaagh thats another Big Worry, yknow? Like asa kid i was Bad, as an adult i'm Barely Better , and as a both i never enjoyed beat em up thingies of any kind at all. And on top of that i was never big into disney, i never saw them as any sort of 'childhood magic' but just some naff cliche shit retelling public domain fairy tales in the safest way possible with a bunch of obnoxious celebrity cameos. Also lion king and snow white terrified me as a kid. Also i associated robin hood with my dead grandma. Also as a kid i couldnt appreciate good artistic ability or voiceacting, i was all about the story, yknow? And most of kh's adaptations are really rushed and barebones versions of an already shoddy story, without any of the visual splendor. ALSO i never saw any of the darker or more emotionally focused stuff like Hunchback and Beauty and the Beast until way after i quit playing kingdom hearts, oddly enough. Wtf beauty and thebeast is actually real good and looks so far beyond its time!! Wtf hunchback has my goddamn evil dad in it!! Why did i miss the only good didneys!! Why did snow white traumatize me and those didnt!!

ANYWAY the point im getting at is that im not inherantly predisposed to like.. Any of kingdom hearts's appeal at all. I didnt know half the disneys and i didnt have any hype for the others. None of my fave final fantasy games made it into it until the sequel and then never again after that. CMON I CANT JUST DEAL WITH ONE VIVI CAMEO Y'ALL! And i haaaate the genre and its an uphill struggle to play a game like that with my stupid inelegant sausage hands. So i just came for the story and then everything after the first game has been conspiring to ruin it for me, sheesh! I felt so much for that short concise self contained first episode and then i fall more and more out of love as they establish this status quo of everything being retconnable so dont bother get attatched to it. Blablabla the entire worldbuilding is different now and everyone was secretly someone else and please memorize a bunch of shit from fifty fuckin spinoffs and also time travel and cloning suddenly exist and ALSO Grandpa Onlyblackmanintheworld is generic motiveless evil and everything was him even of it looked like it was actually a sympathetic villain. *insert dio meme face*

So yeah now im just.. In it for the characters?? And the cute art style and monsters and lovely animations and big fanfic oc potentials stuff. But man even tho i had Big Feel for those things i was able to completely drop it all and forget about the series for years, that was just HOW BAD the kh3 drought was. Steven universe hiatus eat your heart out...

So ffff i dont even KNOW if i'll be able to get feels'd for these characters again or if they actually hold up to modern bunni standards of huggable. And i know all the ones i want to hug the most got like zero sympathy and all died horribly and were also retroactively revealed to be clone oldmanvirus somethingy and aaaaaagh. But also something something people say they all came back and got cured?? And this is why?? I am here?? Again?? And buying?? The thing??

Like man fuck i am already building it up so much in my head aaaa what if i dont actually love axel as much as i used to love axel and i dont love Grumply Science as much as i always love That Character Archetype seriously MAN how was he like THE ONLY ONE I DIDNT GET TO SEE AS A KID

Aaauuuuaggh gahhh like maybe this will reignite my passion for the series or maybe i'll just be all critical and dumb and waste all my moneys

Guys... What do??

#tho i mean i did see the five seconds of vexen u get in days and i know generally what he's like from wikis and fanart #i just mean that i dont know how he really is in his actual starring game and whether any of the sympathetic dadness is canon #plz do #i wanna cry for dad #i mean u made me suddenly cry for saix and ship him with axel as soon as all that stuff was revealed in bbs #i also never finished bbs so i dont know how much we got to learn about apprentice era vexen and baby zexion #like is it actually canon that vexen was his fathee figure? do you actyally see them being cute? #or are people just theorizing? #its so hard to know whats theories in this fandom cos when u waited for a sequel for almost a decade there are a lot of theories lol

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine Advent - “Burn” (Rated PG)

After Kurt's bad day, Blaine comes up with a (slightly dangerous) way to make his husband feel better.

Until their daughter comes home. Then Kurt's day goes from bad to worse. (1718 words)

Notes: Written for the Klaine Advent 2017 prompt "drink", and inspired by a meme I saw on Instagram. Daddies!Klaine.

Read on AO3.

“Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen … Hey, baby!”

“Hey.”

Oh no. Blaine frowns with worry when he hears Kurt’s reply. His husband, who had been a vibrating thread of excitement earlier that morning - singing Christmas carols, and bouncing from room to room, quadruple checking that everything looked parfait - has gone monotone.

Blaine hangs up his coat and heads down the hall to the living room. It’s not a long walk through the pine green walkway, covered from end to end on both sides with framed family photographs, but with the massive amount of holiday decorations they’d put up this year, Kurt is a little difficult to see at first glance. But as he approaches the doorway, Blaine finds his husband slouching on the sofa, still dressed in his brand new Alexander McQueen suit. He’d loosened his tie, unbuttoned a few buttons, and kicked his shoes across the room. There they lay, overturned in front of the fireplace, too close to the heat to be good for the leather.

If Kurt is letting the finish on his shoes get ruined and one of his favorite suits wrinkle, his day can’t have been good.

“Uh … how was the photoshoot?”

“I need a drink,” Kurt grumbles, waving his fingers at his husband, signaling Blaine to get him one.

“It’s only two in the afternoon!” Blaine kicks off his own shoes and takes a seat on the floor beside his husband’s left leg so he can rub his foot.

“And?”

“And you don’t drink!”

“It’s never too late to start.”

Blaine focuses his knuckles on Kurt’s arch, knowing that’s the spot to hit when Kurt’s in a sour mood. “That bad, huh?”

“That bad?” Kurt laughs dryly. “You might say that. Look at the tree.”

Blaine gazes at their Christmas tree, overflowing with an eclectic collection of expensive heirloom ornaments and handmade creations by their daughter, and sighs. “It’s a beautiful tree.”

“It is, isn’t it? But did you know it’s uneven?”

“I did not.” Blaine tilts his head from side to side, trying to see it. He can’t. It must be one of those miniscule things that only photographers notice, like the fact that Kurt’s right ear is supposedly longer than his left.

“Well, not the tree so much” - Kurt scoots closer to his husband - “but the presents underneath it. Apparently it was bereft of presents.”

“But we have presents.”

“Not enough presents …” Kurt moans when Blaine hits just the right spot with his talented fingers. “Apparently, in order for me to be convincing in my role as Executive Fashion Editor at Vogue and earn my right to be featured in the center spread for Christmas, our tree needed more presents. Extravagance is the key. Excess.”

Blaine does a double-take of their tree, at the stacks of presents that weren’t there when he’d left gathered anew around the base. “I was wondering where the avalanche of gifts came from. I thought maybe you’d gotten motivated.”

“They’re not ours. They’re empty boxes,” Kurt mutters, sinking into the couch cushions. “They’re there to make our tree look fuller.”

“I feel sorry for the poor prop guy who got stuck wrapping all those.” Blaine snickers … until he feels his husband’s knee knock him in the ear. He looks up at Kurt glaring back at him, and his final snicker shrivels into nothingness. “Oh no! You wrapped them?”

“A-ha.”

“How many?”

“Roughly five dozen.”

“Oh, sweetie! Why!? Don’t they pay some schlub good money to do that kind of stuff?”

“Yeah, well, supposedly his wife went into labor,” Kurt groans, his head falling back as he pinches his eyes shut, “so he had to leave early … the jerk.”

“That bastard.” Blaine coughs to hide the resulting laugh because really, Kurt? He can’t blame the man for rushing off to be with his wife when she gives birth to their baby! But Blaine still sympathizes. There had to be someone else they could call in to do the grunt work. Isn’t that what interns are for? Speaking of … “Nice to see they left you to clean up the mess.” Blaine sighs, looking at the number of boxes underneath their tree. “We’re going to have to deal with these before the peanut comes home. We don’t want her getting the wrong impression about the size of her haul.”

“You know, all I’ve wanted to do since the crew left is set one of those little motherfuckers on fire with my mind.” Kurt squints hard at the box closest, checking one more time that he can’t. “Could you imagine how satisfying it would be to hear the paper crackle … see the sparks fly as it burns …?”

Blaine considers that. Even though he himself has never wanted to throw a wrapped present into a fireplace, other things come to mind: Calculus textbooks, the various cumbersome costumes he’d had to wear at Six Flags during his summer gig back in high school, a childhood neighbor’s obnoxious Chihuahua. He understands wanting the satisfaction of watching something you loathe devoured, consumed out of existence. A pop from the fireplace draws his attention there, to the fire Kurt had lit for ambiance, its single log still burning, breaking down in its cradle. He knows that burning a present in their fireplace probably isn’t the smartest thing to do, especially wrapped in metallic paper, but if it makes Kurt feel better, then where’s the harm in disposing of one?

He gets up from the floor. Kurt whimpers as he leaves, raising his foot to remind Blaine what he was doing and that it was important. But when Kurt opens his eyes, he sees Blaine by the tree, juggling one of the smaller fake presents in his hands. “Why don’t you chuck one in the fireplace then?”

Kurt sputters a laugh, but his brow draws together when Blaine stays put, tossing the package up in the air and catching it.

“Are you … are you serious?”

“Why not? I mean, it’s not going to be as fun as lighting it Firestarter style, but you’ll still get to see it burn.”

Kurt rises from the sofa. Without fixing his suit, he walks towards his husband.

“Come on.” Blaine hands the present over. “It’ll be great for stress relief.”

“What about sex?”

“We can do that afterward.” Blaine winks. “But, for now, let’s set some presents on fire!”

“I … I can’t,” Kurt says, but takes the present out of Blaine’s hands with a quickness that makes him giggle. “It’s just … it’s crazy!”

“It’s crazy that you had to wrap them in the first place! And for your own Life and Style shoot, too. Anna should be ashamed!”

“Shhh!” Kurt slaps a hand over his husband’s mouth. “She has eyes and ears everywhere! I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these presents is bugged!”

“All the more reason to burn them then, in my opinion.”

Blaine watches Kurt contemplate the gift in his hands, taking longer than he’d anticipated – long enough to start re-thinking himself. So he comes up with a solution to move this party along. “Well, if you’re not going to” – He reaches for the box – “then I’m going to …”

With an angry flash of Kurt’s blue eyes, Kurt tosses the empty box over the safety grate and into the fireplace. Blaine and Kurt watch as the fire engulfs the package, immediately eating away at the wrapping paper. Black holes form, their edges curling back, the entire thing throwing off a sprinkle of gold and silver. They watch the box burn until the paper is gone, the remaining cardboard innards collapsing into ashes.

“God!” Kurt moans so deeply it sounds sexual. “That felt better than I thought it would!”

“See? I told you this was a good idea.”

Kurt reaches past Blaine and grabs a handful of presents, shaking them to make sure they’re empty, and then tossing them into the fire. For a moment, the boxes overwhelm the flames, and Blaine thinks that Kurt may have snuffed them out – the power of the presents and their sparkly wrapping too strong. But with an impressive whoosh! the stack lights on fire. Even before those boxes are properly singed, Kurt grabs more.

“We can’t burn all of them!” Blaine laughs. “Our fireplace isn’t big enough! Plus, I’m pretty sure the smoke is going to be toxic!”

“That’s okay,” Kurt says, chucking one more in for good measure. “I’ll hide them behind the real presents. Then every time Tracy misbehaves, I’ll pick one up and toss it in as a warning!”

“That’s mean!” Blaine laughs.

“I’m just kidding! I’d never do that! In fact, we should probably stop now. Tracy’s going to be home any min---”

“Daddy! Papa, I’m … aaahhhh!”

Kurt and Blaine, huddled close together and laughing into one another’s shoulders, stop with a choke as the bloodcurdling scream of their only daughter fills the room. They turn and stare at the little girl, both mentally preparing with breakneck speed to field the questions and accusations that Tracy is sure to lob at them.

“Honey …” Blaine starts first, seeing as – in his pressed dress shirt and slacks - he’s the parent who doesn’t look like a desperate madman, as opposed to Kurt, who looks like he spent the afternoon sleeping on the sidewalk in a $2,000 designer suit.

“Wha---wha---?” Tracy pants, her eyes darting from Kurt, standing beside the fireplace with two presents in his hands; to Blaine, in the process of handing over one more; to the fireplace, flames climbing higher as the charred skeletons of other gifts burn to a crisp.

“Tracy” - Kurt puts the empty boxes carefully back on the pile and raises his hands in surrender - “it’s not what you think.”

“Daddy? Papa? I … ah!” And with that, Tracy faints, positioning herself in front of a nearby recliner first, then dropping into it with a hand thrown over her forehead. Kurt and Blaine look at their little girl, probably honestly devastated over the loss of what she thinks is a genuine present … but so obviously faking.

Blaine looks at Kurt.

Kurt looks at Blaine.

They open their mouths at the same time.

“That’s your daughter.”

#klaine advent 2017 #klaine advent: drink #frankie writes

[batmanvillainswithcircularheads]

Hey do you wanna know what I thought of Batman: The Telltale Series? No? Well here it is.

Season 1

Not a huge fan of this Bat symbol. It’s not awful though. And Batman’s ears are a liiiiiiiiiiittle too short.

I’ve heard some people say they don’t like Troy Baker as Batman, but I think he does a perfectly fine job.

It’s neat that the game lets you choose the color of Batman’s equipment, though I think blue is really the only color that works for it. Also it seems a little weird that everything Batman owns glows. There’s a moment where he grapples up a stairwell and the levels of the building light up as he passes through them. Doesn’t seem very stealthy for what’s supposed to be a method of escape.

The visuals in this game are good. The animation can be a little stiff at times, but nothing too bad. The cell shading’s cool.

Batman calling Alfred “Al” is weird. Why does he do this? I do not like this.

Catwoman is really good in this. I like her involvement in the story. I like her and Batman. I like her voice. I like her costume, though the material seems kinda bland; I like it when Catwoman’s costume is a bit shinier. That gadget she has that lets her slide up walls is cool, I’ll be damned if I know how it works though.

Not a huge fan of Batman scrambling his voice. It’s not huge, and I get why it makes sense for him to do it, but I just don’t like it. There are a lot of times Batman has more personal conversations with people and having him talk through a machine in situations like that makes it feel kind of distant, like he’s hiding behind it. I prefer it when Batman just speaks in two different voices as Bruce and as Batman. Hell, Troy Baker’s surely got the vocal range for that; He’s Troy Baker.

It took me forever to realize what it was I didn’t like about Gordon’s design, and that’s that his mustache is too thin.

Harvey Dent is good in this. Would have preferred his hair be black though. And why is he so tall? Bruce looks like a dwarf standing next to him. I do really like how they build up Harvey and Bruce’s friendship in this. Seeing him try to fight his own transformation, and regret what he does as “Two-Face” immediately after he does it, is genuinely saddening.

Vicki Vale could have been a good character if they hadn’t wasted her on a twist. Having to choose between giving the evidence on Falcone to her or to Gordon was interesting. It would have been nice to see that carry out through the whole game. Also when are we gonna get redhead Vicki Vale?

The design for Oswald Cobblepot is... different. I guess it’s fine since he’s supposed to be him when he’s younger. Still, he’s pretty much gonna have to change every single thing about his appearance in order to actually end up looking like his old self. The bird-beak gas mask is clever. I kind of like that the “Penguin” persona starting off as a way for Oswald to commit crimes while keeping his own name clean. Personality-wise he’s good. By the end of the game he’s an absolute bastard and all you want to do is beat the shit out of him, which is about what the Penguin should be. Him being childhood friends with Bruce Wayne seemed a little weird and didn’t really add much to his character or the story. It’s a little Roman Sionis-y.

Actually hold on a second here the Penguin in this game is actually just Black Mask  - childhood friend of Bruce Wayne’s  - hates the Waynes because of what they stand for  - “legitimate businessman” who creates a masked alter-ego to commit crimes I’m not even complaining about that it’s just kind of weird.

Batman having white lenses in his cowl is interesting and it makes sense. I don’t really like it or dislike it.

The Waynes murder twist is what really kills this thing. It’s such a huge change to Batman’s origin just for the sake of a twist. The whole time through I was hoping they’d reveal that all of the evidence was fabricated, and when they introduced Falcone’s drugs I was holding out on the hope that they were somehow influencing Bruce’s memory, as contrived as that would be. Bruce revisiting his parents’ murder seems forced. I get that people block out memories sometimes, but apparently all Bruce had to do to remember the entire conversation that happened while his parents were being repeatedly shot was to think real hard about it. Has he never thought real hard about it before? Didn’t Bruce try to investigate his parents’ murder after it happened?

Bruce’s car turning into the Batmobile is dope. Wouldn’t work for most versions of the Batmobile, but since this is early in Batman’s career and the Batmobile is pretty close to a regular car, it works. The color-changing is great too. 10/10 Batmobile would like to see again.

I’m not really fond of Batman using such advanced technology like drones, a forensic scanner built into his glove, and lenses that let him plan out his moves in advance, so early on in his career. Like I get that Bruce is gonna have a lot of technology at his disposal, and it’d be stupid of him not to use it, but when it’s early in his career I prefer seeing him not have everything built up so much and having to rely more on what he can make on his own. Like it’d be one thing if he were just occasionally re-purposing some Waynetech inventions but these things look like they’ve been specifically made for Batman. The damned things are even shaped like bats.

I like the idea of Martha Wayne organizing special screenings of The Mark of Zorro whenever Bruce wanted to see it. That’s sweet.

The choice of whether or not to save Harvey is a pretty obvious one to include, but having it be a choice brings up some weird questions. If you save Harvey, he still ends up becoming “Two-Face,” so it’s not like you’re actually saving him from a life of crime. It seems like he was doomed from the start. Does Harvey’s face ever become disfigured in that timeline then? Does he just go on to have a lengthy criminal career as Two-Face, without actually having two faces?

Hey Blockbuster sure is a character who is in this and sure does look the way he does in this and that’s just about all that can be said about him

So if you save Selina, she’ll show up to the hospital with flowers, then change her mind, give you the flowers, and you walk into the hospital with flowers for Harvey. If you save Harvey, Selina doesn’t show up at the hospital at all, and you visit Harvey... with the flowers. Where did you get the flowers from, if not Selina? If Bruce bought the flowers himself, then why didn’t he also buy them in the timeline where he saved Selina? He didn’t know Selina was going to be there to give him flowers, so why did he show up without flowers? I feel like this would have been a good opportunity for the game to go, “hey look at that, your choices really do change things!” by having him not have the flowers if you save Harvey.

Where did Selina get that tank top from? She wasn’t wearing it when she took off her suit. It’s not like they’re opposed to showing partial nudity in this game; we saw Selina without a shirt earlier on, and we got a whole walking simulator of a half-naked Bruce. If they really wanted to have Selina be more covered up they could have had her put on the tank top after she woke up. Did she have sex with Bruce, put the tank top on when they were done, then fall asleep?

Meeting Joker in Arkham and seeing a glimpse of who he would become was cool.

I don’t really like Zsasz’s voice.

Batman comforting the Vale kid was a good moment.

Penguin’s monocle looks kind of silly. It’s a nice nod to his regular monocle, I guess.

Harvey’s arm catching on fire when you jam his gun is kind of overkill. The flames really burned through that much clothing and did that much damage to his arm and leg in that short an amount of time? Like give it a rest he already has two faces.

Why do grapple guns need to be connected to a computer?

The flashback to Bruce and Oz as kids is kind of weird. Didn’t really tell us anything we didn’t already know. Didn’t make me feel anything for Bruce and Oz’s friendship since I didn’t really care in the first place.

Oh no Commissioner Grogan doesn’t like me I wonder if this is gonna cause any tension going forward oh wait he’s dead now and we made up how sad

Y’know, Harvey’s “Two-Face” voice sounds real silly when his face isn’t disfigured.

“Cobblepot” slapped over the ”Wayne” in Wayne Enterprises in Comic Sans is golden.

heheh, Fal-Coney Island

I had forgotten Selina was in the game until that last part with her. It was a good sendoff though.

Using the reflection in Alfred’s glasses to find clues about the room he’s being kept in is clever. I like it.

The armored Batsuit is dope. The classic Batsuit is also dope.

“Blue... the same color as my tech. It can’t be a coincidence.” Yes Bruce it absolutely goddamn could.

Vicki already had a perfectly sound motivation for doing what she did, did we really have to learn her adoptive parents were abusive too?

I keep forgetting Vicki can levitate. Probably because she only does it twice in the whole game. You’d think she’d do it a little bit more given how useful it is. It’s kind of over-powered honestly. How does it work? Is it the same technology as her staff? Where did she get that from? What does it have to do with her character? Why doesn’t Batman start using stuff like this?

So if you choose the option that gets Alfred’s eye blown out of his head, he has an eyepatch. So throughout the rest of Batman’s career Alfred’s gonna be a guy with an eyepatch. Having an eyepatch is now Alfred’s thing in this world. Either that or Bruce gets a little bit of his ear blown off, which is less egregious but still kind of weird... still that shit’s gonna heal up the second he meets Ra’s al Ghul.

So if you go as Bruce Wayne, Bruce makes a speech, and if you go as Batman, Batman talks to Jim for a hot minute before the speech happens... so Bruce could have still made his speech. You didn’t have to choose between going as Bruce and going as Batman. Sure, Batman swoops in to save Jim once Random Attacker with No Motivation #389 drives a truck into Jim, but Batman had no idea that was going to happen, and he would have saved the day even if he went as Bruce.

“Oh boy, it’s gonna be tough to top that!” John he pushed someone out of the way of a truck it’s the least impressive thing that’s happened in this entire game.

The real shame about this game is that it didn’t need to have all of these twists to be “new” and “different.” There have been plenty of stories that focus on Batman’s early days, but this one was different in that it was a video game that had you go through his early days step-by-step, instead of just having it be the backdrop for a regular Batman adventure. Splitting things up pretty much 50/50 between your life as Batman and your life as Bruce Wayne is also pretty rare for a video game. Hell, the simple fact that this is a Batman game done in the Telltale style sets it apart from other Batman games in and of itself. They didn’t need to make Thomas Wayne a criminal, make Vicki Vale a terrorist who’s actually an Arkham, or even make Penguin Bruce’s childhood friend. This game was good enough without those, and would have been better off if they weren’t there.

Season 2 Episode 1

Haha what the fuck they made a sequel?

The Riddler in this looks baaaad. The hood just doesn’t work. I feel like it’s an attempt to make him look more “realistic,” but isn’t it more realistic for someone to wear a bowler hat with a suit than to have a suit where the jacket has a hood? When he first shows up at the casino he looks so out of place with his hood up. Bowler hats may be kind of flashy, but real people do wear them. It’s not like it’s to hide his identity, since he doesn’t seem concerned with hiding who he is, and the game goes out of its way to have his hood get knocked off in every encounter anyway. The hook on his cane is clever, but hacking and slashing at people doesn’t seem very Riddler. Him being a villain from back in Thomas Wayne’s days bothers me too. It means his career reached its peak before Batman was even around. He’s hardly a Batman villain then, just a Gotham City villain whose last fight happened to be against Batman. And then he dies.

New Batsuit looks good. I didn’t dislike the old one but I like this one a lot more.

Riddler tells Batman “you’re supposed to be the world’s greatest detective.” Would Batman really have already gained that reputation at this point?

Gordon’s mustache is bigger. I like it.

Seeing Bruce doing Batman work at rich people events is fun, though the “I’m looking for new thrills” excuse can only work so many times.

Hey, Amanda Waller’s in this.

Interested to see where Alfred’s condition is gonna go. I hope he’s okay. I hope they don’t kill him for shock value like everyone else in this series

Tiffany is annoying. She’s every “young genius” character.

Killing Lucius was stupid and needless.

“Please tell me you didn’t put him in danger.” “We didn’t know there was any danger.” “How dare you!” Well fine then Tiffany I’ll choose the Lie option then. The fact that you can do everything else right but telling Tiffany the truth will cause her to hate you is dumb.

So does no one else notices that Joke- John Doe’s skin is white and hair is green?

All of Riddler’s puzzles and the way Batman solves them are pretty clever.

Seems weird that the game gives you the option to let the other three agents die to save Avesta. Even if Avesta were to die, ti’d still be one death as opposed to three, and if you want to save Avesta it’d still be objectively better to let her take the first two sonic blasts, then choose her over the other agent for the third riddle since either way one person would die (not that the third riddle matters in the end, since Batman ends up breaking out before that). Yeah that causes Avesta to go deaf, but going deaf is still better than dying. It seems like an obvious choice given Batman’s morals.

So we get to fuck Agent Avesta, right?

Season 2 Episode 2

Bane’s tattoos look bad. And when his veins turn green they overlap with the tattoos, so it looks even worse. His goatee sticking out of his mask looks stupid too. The rest of him’s fine. I like his voice.

i’m getting tired of every introduction to Bane having him do the back-break pose, then not breaking Batman’s back. I get that you can’t do the whole Knightfall arc when you’ve got your own story to tell, but if Bane’s not gonna break Batman’s back then don’t bother teasing it.

That one purple button on John Doe’s vest is annoying and out of place. i hate it.

They’re kind of pushing this whole “John is obsessed with Bruce” thing a little too hard. It was fine having them interact in Arkham but now it seems like they’re using John’s fixation on Bruce as a stand-in for Joker’s fixation on Batman, instead of just having him be fixated on Batman in the first place. Really Bruce’s involvement with the villains in general is getting to be a little too much. Bruce interacting with white collar criminals in a sort of shady-business setting is one thing, but now he’s hanging around with full-on supervillains.

The “LOL WOULDN’T IT BE CRAZY IF BRUCE AND JOHN WERE GAAAAY” jokes are cringey please stop forever.

It seems like in this Joker is the one trying to impress Harley and Harley is the one who’s pushing Joker around. And instead of Joker turning Harley into what she is, she just decided to dress up like the biker version of a court jester and commit crimes using a sledgehammer because her dad died... as you do. So why then am I supposed to feel bad for Harley? Normally it’s because she was in an abusive relationship, but now she’s the abuser. If anything I should feel bad for Joker... who apparently is becoming the Joker... because of Harley? God this is like a fanfiction. And if Joker ever does end up being the one who manipulates Harley, why the hell should I care? If anything she deserves it since she was the one who started manipulating him. There are plenty of stories where Harley manages to pull one over on Joker, and they work because Harley’s getting payback for what Joker did to her. In this, she’s the one who started this whole thing. All of this is her fault. Honestly, fuck her.

Outside of that, Harley’s kind of annoying but she’s not awful. She’s got a few “Wouldn’t it be just QUIRKY if I did something really inconveniencing right now?” moments.

Bruce letting John and Harley into Wayne Enterprises is just reckless. It’s bad enough on its own, but when Harley starts physically threatening and putting her hands on his employees then good god he shouldn’t be letting this happen anymore. The whole thing is just irritating to watch.

Y’know, Bruce really oughta change up all of the secrets in his office if Penguin knows about them and is telling other criminals.

At this point Tiffany is just here to be an inconvenience.

I feel like they could have worked Matches Malone into this story, instead of having Bruce pretty much become a criminal.

Fries’ suit is pretty good. It’s missing the dome though, you can’t have Fries without his dome. His glove that can freeze things by touching them is neat, but I still prefer the gun. I also don’t really like his voice. His characterization’s good though.

Fries sounds like he’s voiced by the guy who voices Skullface. He isn’t.

I like Harley a lot more when she’s being more sincere instead of trying to be the most annoying person in the room.

Do... do we get to fuck Harley? I don’t know if I wanna fuck Harley. Or rather, I don’t know if I want Bruce to fuck Harley.

I don’t really like all the villains already being in full-on “villain mode” already. It seems like they just popped up out of nowhere, already established and organized. I wanna see how these people become supervillains, not just have them pop onto the scene in full costume, ready to start their life of crime. The only one who seems like he’s still in a sort of early stage is Joker, the one who would make the most sense to already be a full-on villain.

What’s the point in Bruce hiding his face during the heist if they’re going to call him by his name anyway?

Seeing Bruce try to reduce the deaths by beating up agents himself was cool.

Bruce seeing the Batsignal go up as he drives away with the villains, not able to do anything about it, is a good scene.

Interested to see what they do with Riddler’s dead body.

Hey look, Catwoman’s back.

Might add more when future episodes come out

[squishy-wizards]

You Colour Me Blue  [Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens.]

Author: @galacticstylinson

Word Count: 6.5k

Ratings/Triggers: Mentions of Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

Summary: A college au in which John is an art student with soft jumpers and pencils in his hair and Alex is a history major with too much to say and a penchant for quiet shy boys, and somehow manages to make John feel like he belongs.

Also read here on AO3. 

***

John had never viewed one particular place as home. Not the family home back in Charleston where he had spent the majority of his childhood. Not his stuffy High School bedroom in the European boarding school his father had shipped him off to for his ‘rebellious’ teenage years. Not even his current dorm room at Columbia University, New York, although he supposed it was the place he had felt most at home in his life.

No, for John home was a feeling. The feeling that manifested itself in him when he drew, painted, created. Home was the feeling of getting lost in a world that was entirely his own, full of loud, bright pinks and purples. Pastel blues and greens, warm reds, oranges, yellows. Home was a world of color so vastly different from the landscape of greys his childhood blurred into in his mind. A world void of his father’s critiques and expectations. A world where John was free, and happy, and home.

Spending his days in the whirlwind of rainbow that was being an art student gave John all of these things – and was a world away from the drab dreary court rooms his father had in mind, which was merely a bonus. 

Squinting against the harsh July sunlight, John glanced up at the building ahead of him, comparing it to the miniature Low Library taking form in his sketchbook, its towering white columns and authoritative, imposing aura muted by his soft diluted watercolors. Luminescent sun spots danced across the page where he swirled his brush in the jar on the step beside him, the clear water becoming tainted with smoke-like spirals of pale grey. He was about to dip his brush into his palette once more when a shadow obscured the light from his page. 

“Woah. Dude – you’re good! Like actually fricken’ good!”

Upon looking up to the source of the compliment, John found himself facing a stranger. But maybe stranger wasn’t the right word. Because those wide, excitable eyes seemed a familiar shade of deep mahogany brown, a color that made John feel safe, that he trusted – that gave him the feeling of finding something he didn’t even know he’d been missing. Intelligent eyes as bright as his smile and as warm as the honeyed hue of his skin. Kind eyes that John could revel in forever. His gaze moved away from those eyes, to the heavy bags beneath them and the delicate crinkles around them caused by the wide, warm grin on the man’s face. One look at this boy had John awestruck, falling fast; falling hard, with no signs of slowing.

The stranger continued to talk. 

“I mean, obviously you’d have to be good to get onto the art course here – but most of them are like ‘eh’ good whereas you’re like, super fricken crazy good! Awe man, you are so talented, I wish I could paint like that but art has never really been my forte – much better with words, they’re a medium I can get to grips with – I’m Alex by the way, Alexander Hamilton.”

He stepped forward, hand outstretched, and proceeded to kick over the jam jar by John’s side, sending the murky water cascading over the white steps. He leapt up, meeting Alex’s eyes again, and stifling a giggle that caused the panic in them to morph into – fondness?

“I’m so sorry – I’m a clumsy idiot, my body and mind move at two completely different speeds…not like that you cheeky bastard!” Alex exclaimed as John’s eyebrow quirked suggestively. John giggled again, a dusting of rose flooding the skin beneath his freckles, and Alex’s lungs forgot how to function again. He was taken in, completely and utterly, by this boy – this soft, gentle boy with a solar system of constellations scattered across his cheeks and knitted jumpers that made the matching sea green of his eyes glitter just so perfectly and long curls that were scooped back in a loose bun held in place only by a pencil. For once in his life, Alex was speechless, for there were no words good enough to pay tribute to this boy. 

“Mon Chou, we only know one bastard, and that is your good self. So what is the actual name of the man you abandoned us to run off to?”

Feeling a weight across his shoulders, Alex looked up to see his two friends had caught up with him.

“Hey Laf, Herc; this is…I’m sorry, I didn’t actually get your name? Or your anything in fact, I don’t think I’ve actually shut up long enough for you to speak.”

“I’m John. John Laurens.” John smiled, reaching out a hand to Alex which he took, clutching it tightly. All too quickly the warmth from John’s hand was lost as it fell back to his side. 

“It’s good to meet you, John. This is-” 

“Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette;” the tall, curly haired man removed his arm from Alex’s shoulder to bid shake Johns hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you John Laurens.” 

John tried not to laugh at Alex, who with a look of exasperation rolled his eyes before continuing. 

“As I was saying before I was interrupted: everyone calls him Lafayette, or Laf for short, because honestly who has time to say that pretentiously long- “

“Hey!”

“And this is Hercules Mulligan.” The even taller figure who would certainly have seemed opposing if it wasn’t his warm, wide smile nodded, hovering by Lafayette’s side. John smiled back.

“It’s great to meet you all.”

“No need to ask what you’re majoring in,” Lafayette remarked, gesturing to Johns abandoned sketchbook, still open at the half-finished painting. “May I see?” 

“Oh yeah, sure, here” John stuttered, scooping the book from the white steps at his feet and passing it carefully to Lafayette, trying desperately not to look too anxious as he begun to leaf through the pages.

“So, uh, what are you guys majoring in?” 

Hercules opened his mouth to speak, but before he managed to form the words Alex had already answered.

“Herc is taking a course in fashion design and textiles, aiming to go on and work in costume production on Broadway which would be so damn awesome, and Laf, like myself, is studying History and Politics whilst on exchange from France.”

“Y’know,” Hercules spoke, his voice deep but with vibrant, warm undertones “you wouldn’t think me a Lafayette were grown men who could actually speak for ourselves half the time would you?”

The three of them laughed, John being unable to help noticing just how cute the way Alex’s nose scrunched up in indignance was, as he slapped Hercules arm grumpily.

“No need to be mean, I was just answering John’s question, and besides-”

“Alexander, as much as I find your bickering hilarious, if we do not hurry we are never going to get a table in the canteen” Lafayette turned to John, handing him back over his sketchpad. “These are really very good – you have great talent.”

“Thanks, thank you.” Alex couldn’t help but feel overwhelmingly fond over how adorable John looked with his small smile and rosy cheeks flushed with pride as he hugged the book tightly to his chest.

“Now, will the Mr. John Laurens be joining us for lunch?” Laf enquired, raising one quizzical eyebrow at John. Glancing at his watch, John grimaced before meeting Alex’s hopeful look with one of apology.

“Unfortunately I have a class to attend. Some other time?” Lafayette nodded, smiling, before he and Herc turned and begun to head towards the canteen building, already discussing what they hoped would be on the menu today. Alex lingered on the steps in front of John, looking mildly disappointed but eyes still sparkling, smile still etched on his soft pink lips.

“I hope to see you soon, John.”

John watched his retreating back as he ran to catch up with Hercules and Lafayette, who were already half way across the green. Sighing, he swallowed, looking down at his shoes, and promptly glanced back once more to catch Alexander laughing, head thrown back and mouth wide with a beautiful grin that could out shine the sun itself.

“I’m so pathetic.” John groaned aloud to himself as he bent to gather his things, before striding off towards the art block, the musical sound of Alex’s laugh still ringing in his ears.

*** 

The library was almost dead post exam season as John pushed his cart overflowing with textbooks past the study stations that only a few weeks ago had been packed out, his eyes scanning the signs until he found it; Aisle B: Modern History. “Mr. Blue Sky” blasted through Johns headphones as he rounded the corner, squinting against the sunlight that streamed through one of the libraries many bay windows illuminating row upon row of books. Pushing back the pale lavender sleeves of his fine knit sweater, he reached for the first book, turning it in his hands to study the reference code on its spine. So absorbed was he in his work he failed to notice the figure behind him until they had placed a hand on his shoulder. 

John started, and bit back a curse as he promptly dropped the aforementioned book on his toe. Spinning around, his face melted into a grin and he removed one earbud, the throbbing pain in his foot paling into insignificance as he found himself faced with a skinny-jean and tank top clad Alex, the same bright eyes he’d met only a few days prior smiling out at him from underneath thick, heavy brows, hair pushed back from his face by a pair of sunglasses that perched atop his head. 

“John Laurens. I would call it fate if I believed in such a thing.”

“Hey Alex!” John chuckled as he crouched down to pick up the book, taking time to smooth out the rumpled pages in attempt to hide his reddening cheeks.

“Y’know, you don’t have to put those away; I’m pretty sure they hire some poor sod to do that for us.” 

John smirked as he rose, and turned to Alex, tapping the blue librarian lanyard that hung round his neck. 

“You’re looking at him. The poor sod, that is.” In a marginally apologetic manner, Alex grimaced. 

“Sorry – but can you deny it? Tell me honestly you’d rather be in here stacking shelves than out there enjoying the sun?” John shrugged, just smiled softly and gathered a few books up into his arms and wandered down the aisle, Alex at his heels – watching as Johns slender, delicate fingers scuttled over the faded spines, gently slotting the books into their designated spot. John handled each book reverently, with care Alex had never exhibited to any of his own textbooks, many of which were dog eared, with cracked spines and wrinkled pages from where they’d been dropped in the bath, often times more than once. Of course even in the smallest, most mundane ways John was still perfect.

“So, I guess if you work here you could probably help me then?” Alex enquired, leaning gently against the shelf, still basking in admiration of this boy, this boy whose golden skin practically radiated a warm, sun-like glow; whose athletic frame cowered behind baggy jumpers and faded denim. Jumpers – even in July.

John hummed in acknowledgment, turning away from the shelves to face Alex.

“I’m researching LGBT+ history – any recommendations as a starting point?”

Alex noticed a brief flicker of surprise in Johns expression as he registered Alex’s words, but quickly it was gone, replaced instead by a thoughtful look. He turned back, squinting closely at the books once again, before surveying the shelf further, eyes raking over title after title, meticulously searching. 

“Hmm. Well, if you’re looking for something that’s more of a, I guess, general overview of LGBT+ history, then I would recommend this one.” John reached up to the top shelf, his jumper riding up above the waistband of his jeans just enough to let Alex know that Johns freckles were not limited to his cheeks, before he pulled an obscenely large book off the shelf and held it to Alex, who barked out a laugh.

“Completely Queer.” He read aloud. 

“Just like me.” John chuckled, before his eyes widened in shock, pink flushing his cheeks, biting his lip when he realized what he’d admitted.

There was a beat of silence as John’s eyes remaining fixed firmly on his hands, suddenly paying exceptionally close attention to the loose skin around his left thumb his nails began to deftly pick away at. Alex swallowed, then probed, gently.

“Is that how you identify then? Queer?”

The fear and anxiety reflected in John’s large green eyes made Alex’s heart break just little bit as John finally dragged his eye line up to meet Alex’s once more. 

“Yeah. I know some people don’t like it, but for me it just seemed to fit you know? I didn’t like Bisexual, Pansexual, they felt too, rigid? I guess? I don’t know – I kind of buy into the whole idea that sexuality and gender are a spectrum, and as such it felt weird trying to define something that is so fluid and unique. You get me?”

Alex nodded, smiling warmly at John and reaching out a hand to grasp his shoulder. 

“Of course I get it; that’s fine. It’s completely fine, John.” 

John smiled weakly back, the tension visibly draining from his muscles, shoulders unfurling from their hunched shield like position as he leaned into Alex’s touch. All too soon the contact was lost, and already John yearned for it to return, the weight feeling grounding, comforting. 

“Why are you researching all this stuff anyways?” John queried, meandering back to his cart to seize yet another textbook. Alex broke out into a wide, mischievous grin.

“Actually, it’s for the colleges GSA; I’ve just been made president; our first meeting is going to be looking at LGBT+ icons of the past.”

Alex struggled to hold back his laughter at the look of dumbfounded shock on Johns face as he spun back around to face him.

“Didn’t I mention? I’m hella freaking gay.” 

Laughter finally spilled out of him as he watched John groan, slamming the textbook against his forehead to hide his face, or more specifically, the pink flush that was rapidly flooding the golden skin beneath his freckled cheeks. He lowered the book just a little, to let smiling green eyes peek out from over the top of the pages, staring at Alex in utter disbelief.

“I’m such an idiot. And to think I was scared about my slip up, geez – I mean, why else would you be interested in queer history?”

“It’s fine, I mean y’know – I guess it’s good you don’t make assumptions based on how flamboyant some people are. That being said” Alex spluttered, “I am literally the gayest person I know how did you not see it.”

John laughing was what did it, what pushed Alex past the point of no return, propelled him straight past Crush-Ville into Infatuation City. His freckles seemed to dance on his skin with each wave of giggles, his eyes creased up delicately, and his entire body seemed to let go, allowed itself to relax from its usual tight, restricted, carefully planned movements. This was carefree John; happy John, and god damnit Alex wanted more of him, wanted to be the cause of this happiness always.

“How soon can you escape from here? C’mon – we could grab a coffee; I know a place.”

John stole a glance at the clock on the wall, weighing up the number of books he had left to stack.

“Give me fifteen minutes? Twenty max?”

Alex beamed.

“Perfect. My treat. I’ll wait outside.”

And with a wink that rendered John only slightly weak at the knees, Alex set off down the aisle, already pulling his phone out to compose a message to Lafayette ranting about just how unfairly amazing John Laurens was. 

*** 

From their window table in the upstairs of what, Alex had assured him, was the best local coffee shop in all of downtown New York, they had a perfect view over the streets below that were buzzing with busy shoppers; but even with his secret penchant for people watching, the hustle and bustle did nothing to distract john from the boy with such animated expressions and wild gesticulations that sat in front of him. In the half hour they’d been sitting there, John had concluded that, if uninterrupted, Alex could rant about any given topic for an indefinite amount of time, from what the importance of studying history was, to whether blueberry or chocolate muffins were better; a trait that on anybody else would surely have been annoying but somehow, this boy with bright, dancing eyes made it endearing.

“Hey, snap!” Alex exclaimed mid-conversation, catching Johns arm in his hand, pulling their wrists side by side. Adorning his honey hued skin was a tight band of multi-colored embroidery thread, the overlapping threads matching perfectly the colors of the beaded bracelet that hung delicately round Johns own wrist; a rainbow.

“Aha, yeah,” John bit his lip and smiled as Alex fiddled with the bracelet, trying to ignore the tingle where Alex’s fingers ghosted over his skin.

“I bought it from this little bead shop when I was on summer break once at home in Charleston. Don’t think I’ve actually taken it off since that day; it’s always been there, like a way to visibly show an otherwise invisible part of me – a silent fuck you to my parents too, I guess.” He paused, taking a deep breath as Alex shot him a quizzical look.

“I’m from Charleston, South Carolina. It’s not well renowned for being the most, liberal, place shall we say; my parents were no exception unfortunately, especially my dad. I don’t bother me so much anymore, but it used to. Also why I was perhaps expecting a slightly more – volatile – reaction when I outed myself to you.” He chuckled softly, trying to push the threatening sadness to the back of his mind.

Alex merely nodded, brows knitted together, and John noticed that even though he was done examining the bracelet, his fingers still rested on the back of Johns hand, tracing circles into the freckle-littered skin. He felt his breath catch in his lungs, heart suddenly beating faster, harder. Faltering, he pulled his hand back to interlock with his own fingers, staring at the rim of his coffee cup to avoid the flicker of disappointment that crossed Alex’s face, and trying not to regret his action instantly.

“Where did you get yours from then?”

Alex smiled fondly at the band on his wrist, spinning it round to play with the knotted thread.

“My first pride. Laf took me – he’s Bi – and it was just incredible. One massive party; rainbows everywhere you looked, not a single person there without a smile on their face. Everyone there was just being so authentically themselves; it was refreshing y’know, to be in an environment where for once you didn’t have to worry about censoring a part of yourself.”

“It sounds amazing,” John commented as he raised the cup to his lips to take a small sip of his coffee, grimacing as he swallowed the now cold bitter fluid, his expression drawing a chuckle from Alex. “I’d love to go to one someday. I’ve always imagined it to be awesome.”

“You’ve never been to a pride parade before?” Alex asked dumbfounded, watching as John wrapped his hands protectively round his mug, as if trying to will some of their warmth into the cold liquid it contained. John shook his head.

“Nope. Never had the opportunity to, or had anyone to go with.” 

“Well,” Alex paused, smiled at John thoughtfully, “You’d always be welcome to come with us; me, Herc and Laf that is. We make a routine of going together – we’re actually meeting up next Monday to make placards and prep for it; if you’re be interested…” he trailed off, shooting John a hopeful look, shrugging as if to say, what harm could it do. He was thankful to be met with a wide, grateful grin.

“I’d love to – that would be awesome. If you’re sure the others won’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Alex smirked, “You won Laf over with your artistic talents – he’s a little bit obsessed with art, especially of buildings, he loves architecture – and Herc adopts pretty much everyone under his wing like a mother hen; it’s actually endearing. They won’t mind. Here – let me get you the directions to Laf’s room.”

They chatted a few minutes more as Alex pulled up the details, discussing logistics, timings, location. And this time, it was Alex who found John’s hand resting atop his own, as their eyes met, the gratitude, warmth, happiness reflected in Johns eyes plain. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” Alex smiled, trying to ignore the dusting of pink he was sure had arisen on his own cheeks.

*** 

Three sharp knocks echoed down the corridor. John lowered his fist, nibbling on his lip anxiously as he hovered outside Room 213, Floor 7, Hawthorne block, Eastside of campus. He’d checked, and double checked, with Alex that this was the right address, but even still doubt niggled away at the corner of his mind, a small voice pestering away, until suddenly the door was opening, the warm yellow light from inside flooding the dingy hallway. Alex stood in the doorway, beaming.

“John!” Before he could respond, John felt himself being pulled into a bone crushing hug.

“Hello to you too, Alex.”

A few beats passed before he was released at last from Alex’s vice like grip. John allowed himself to be pulled forward into the room, taking in his surroundings. The layout was not too dissimilar from his own; a desk and shelves took up one wall, with a bed against the other, on which Hercules was sprawled out, laughing at a quip from Lafayette, who was settled in a nest of paper which took up the limited floor space. Both Laf and Herc turned to greet him, smiling invitingly.

“Laurens! At last – you brought the paint I trust?” Laf asked.

“Yes!” John replied, as Alex pulled the carrier bag from his hands. “As well as –“ 

“Popcorn!” Alex exclaimed excitedly, pulling the packet out of the bag, letting the paints drop to the floor with a clatter, at which John sighed exasperatedly. Alex’s puppy-like excitement however quickly faded to disappointment.

“Sweet and salty?” He shot a disgusted look at John, who smiled, shrugged.

“I like it.” John replied defensively, ignoring the despairing sigh Alex emitted. 

“You have terrible taste.”

“Well, I guess that explains why I’m hanging out with you.” John winked, smiling cockily as he seized the popcorn back from Alex, tearing it open and offering it to Laf. 

“Touché.” Alex grumbled, slumping down onto the desk chair, ignoring Laf and Herc’s laughter. John settled himself on the floor opposite Lafayette, who immediately launched into a long winded spiel regarding his plans for the placards.

The hours passed by, the muted pastels of dusk outside the window soon fading to the deep navy blue of night. Alex, strictly instructed to stay away from the placards by Laf, deemed far too excitable to be trusted, contented himself by lazily tossing popcorn into Herc’s mouth, much to Laf’s dismay (“Those crumbs are going in my bed!”) and studying John as he worked. He watched the way his delicate pink tongue poked out the corner of his mouth as he focused on laying each brushstroke meticulously within the text outline Laf had sketched out, one by one the placards coming to life, each sporting a different message in rainbow shades of acrylic paint. He watched the way Johns eyes lit up with interest during deep discussions with Lafayette about artists Alex had never heard of, or with a passionate spark when he engaged in a heated debate with Mulligan over the true definition of the word feminism. He watched the way Johns nose scrunched up when he giggled, hand clapped across his mouth, freckles seemingly laughing too atop his coffee-colored skin. He watched John, and all his intricacies, and slowly fell for him harder with the reveal of each adorable antic.

“You could try being subtle, y’know.” Lafayette commented when John disappeared to the bathroom, leaving the trio alone in the room for a moment. 

‘Hmm?” Alex responded. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about mon chou; your feelings towards the dear Mr. Laurens are obvious even to Mulligan.” Behind him Herc nodded in agreement, shooting Alex a sympathetic glance. 

“Yeah – you’ve got it bad haven’t you?”

Alex bit his lip, combing his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah,” He sighed, “yeah, I have.” 

“I don’t know why you sound so despairing Alexander.” Laf quipped, attention so focused on the placard he was admiring he almost missed Alex’s look of confusion. Laf rolled his eyes.

“It’s obvious he likes you too. He can’t keep his eyes off you.”

Lafayette’s remark still hung in the air as John walked through the door, grumbling about how extremely unfair it was that Lafayette’s halls of residence had apple scented soap as opposed to the bog standard chemical rubbish he dealt with. He caught the guilty looks exchanged between the trio, eyes narrowing into a suspicious glare.

“What were y’all talking about?”

“Oh just how awful your taste in popcorn is.” Alex remarked. Winced as the pencil John hurled across the room hit him square in the forehead. But even John’s violent tendencies did nothing to quell Alex’s adoration.

*** 

From that night onwards by some unspoken agreement the trio became a foursome, John quickly becoming included in group chats and day trips and study sessions. Although they did venture off campus occasionally, more often than not they found themselves in a tangle of limbs on Laf’s bed, watching some trashy TV show or movie for the simple pleasure of watching Alex, apparently now an aspiring film critic, rant about how awful it was for its entire duration. It became habit, too, for Alex to walk John back across campus to his dorm, a habit which started with the best of intentions, under the guise of making sure he didn’t get lost in the dark, but continued because honestly, Alex relished those late night conversations as they wandered across the moonlight washed paths, just the two of them as it seemed like the rest of the world lay suspended in a silent slumber.

John had been on edge all day. Some days were just worse than others – and this was one of those days, when he felt the surplus supply of energy thrumming through his veins, making him restless, making his heart pound and his stomach churn. The anxiety wrapped around his mind, clouding his judgement, making him feel small and vulnerable and one step away from falling off the edge and floating further away from reality than he already felt. He’d pushed himself to meet up with the guys anyway, but remained reserved, quiet, even around Alex, whose presence normally was enough to chase away any lingering anxiety to the far corners of John’s peripheral. But not tonight.

Alex had, as always, insisted on walking John home, mildly concerned by the shadow that had clouded Johns normally bright eyes all day. They arrived, at last, at John’s dorm door – the familiar, chipped white paint now clinical and scary, and all of a sudden John is shaking subtly and gripping his keys so tight his knuckles turn white. Alex is going to leave, and he’s going to be alone, and he’s going to feel so small and sad and alone. 

“John? Are you okay?”

John inclines his head slightly, jaw tight, clenched.

“You sure?”

The tears begin to slide silently down his freckle littered cheeks, because no, no John really isn’t okay right now, and his heart is beating so hard its beating out of his chest, and his mind is like a stuck record with alone repeating over and over and over on replay. He is frozen, debilitated, zoned out.

“Okay let’s get you inside, c’mon love.”

As soon as the key is prized from his grasp, John is gnawing at his fingernails as he watches Alex fiddle with the lock. With a small click, Alex unlocks the door, nudging it open with his hip whilst propelling John gently but firmly over the threshold by the shoulders. He pulls the door shut behind them, before turning to look at John, feeling his heart clench at the vulnerable silhouette illuminated only by the moonlight that filters through the blinds. It was not just the wash of milky white light that made John look so pale however; all color had visibly drained from his face, eyes now dull and vacant and void of their usual spark, the only shine now being from the tears that spilled over onto his cheeks.

“John?”

John finally registers some response, slowly dragging his gaze up to meet Alex’s.

“What do you need?”

And suddenly John is closing the distance between them, launching himself at Alex with such velocity it’s a miracle he stays upright, but Alex just plants himself firmly in the ground and envelopes John in a hug, letting him bury his head into his chest and let out small, shaky breaths as he fists the material of Alex’s t-shirt.

Sometimes John needs alone. Sometimes he needs to listen to sad piano music and sit and just be, alone. Sometimes he needs warm blankets and plushies and cups of tea and Disney. But right now he needed this – he needed to feel smothered, and grounded, and held by someone – by Alex – because god knows it was the only thing keeping him together, stopping him from shattering into a million tiny pieces that would take months to painstakingly piece back together. He needed to be here in Alex’s firm hold, needed to hear his fast heartbeat syncing to Alex’s own, reminding him he was alive and here and breathing, and that he was okay – that he wasn’t alone.

“Need you. Here.”

He felt Alex shift slightly, and whimpered, clinging tighter. Alex shushed him, pulled the pencil free from where it was tightly intertwined in Johns hair, gently twirling the loose curls round his fingers as they tumbled onto Johns shoulders. 

“You’re okay darling. I’m not going anywhere” he whispered, the warmth of his voice washing over him like blanket.  

“I’m not leaving you.”

“You’ll stay?” John croaked, blinking up at Alex through long, dark eyelashes, eyes wide, glistening. Alex gave a small half smile, bringing his thumb up to flit across Johns cheek; brushed the remaining tear drops away, tucked an unruly curl behind his ear, admired how even in his state of utmost vulnerability John looked beautiful, was beautiful, always would be beautiful in Alex’s eyes. 

“Of course.”

John relinquished his grasp only to step back and drop onto the bed. Alex allowed himself to be tugged down too, sliding behind where John was now curling up to pull him back flush against Alex’s own chest, wrapping one arm protectively across Johns chest and spanning his fingers over his rapidly beating heart, tracing calming circles around it in an attempt to slow its rapid tempo.

“You’re safe John. I’ve got you – it’s okay.” Alex murmed into Johns soft curls. With that, he felt John give out one last sigh, eyes relaxing and breathing slowing as he drifted asleep. It was only a few minutes of staring at the slow rise and fall of Johns chest before Alex also felt drowsiness weighing on his own eyelids, finally allowing the pull of sleep to silence his whirring, worried mind. 

***

Alex quickly shut off his phone as it started buzzing at six thirty the next morning. Taking a minute to orientate himself, he quickly remembered the events of the previous evening, glancing to his side to take in the still sleeping John, whose arms clutched a large Stitch plush in a death grip to his chest. Relieved the boy seemed to be in a state of relative peace, Alex smiled softly, rubbing the last remnants of sleep from his eyes. A rail filled with various jumpers in seemingly every pastel shade imaginable stood at the end of the bed, obscuring the door from Alex’s view as he sat up, carefully withdrawing his arm from where it rested over Johns waist and twisting round to plant his feet on the cold wooden floor, ignoring the stiffness in his legs from sleeping in thick denim jeans in the July heat.

As Alex pulled his socks on, he took time to properly take in John’s dorm room. His shelves were weighed down with books, some on art theory, but also several novels regarding politics, activism, social justice, interspaced occasionally by cacti, succulents and ivy whose tendrils trickled lazily over onto the desk. The wall beneath the shelves behind the desk had been converted into a long corkboard, which John had dangled fairy lights around before pinning various ticket stubs, postcards and photos to it, some of which Alex recognized from the outings they’d had over the past few weeks with Herc and Laf; the picnic by the riverside, the trip to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, the games night Herc had hosted the weekend prior.

Rising slowly from the bed, carefully so as not to disturb the sleeping John, he wandered over to the desk, ran his fingers over its smooth surface, taking in the overflowing pots of brightly colored pens, pencils, markers, the watercolor set that lay open, colors mingling together in messy splotches, the paintbrushes littered across a scattering of half-finished sketches that covered the desktop. One drawing in particular caught Alex’s eye. Sliding off the pens that partially covered it, he picked up the paper, breath hitching in his throat. He was staring at a picture of himself, undoubtedly; it was just a pencil sketch, but even the rough, rushed graphite lines had captured his likeness. Apart from it really wasn’t anything like him, because the version of himself grinning up from the paper looked ten times more handsome than Alex could ever hope to look – hair smooth, sleek, smile wide enough to expose the dimples that so often remained hidden, and eyes; sparkling, bright, inviting eyes staring out from under thick dark eyelashes, edges crinkling slightly in what Alex assumed to be laughter. He turned back to stare, shocked, at the sleeping form that was John, back facing Alex, curls fanned out on the pillow beneath his head, the morning sunlight illuminating the hundreds of different shades of golden that made up his caramel hair. This couldn’t possibly be how John, who was a picture of beauty himself, pictured Alex.

Rather than creeped out, as Alex felt perhaps he should be, he felt an odd combination of disbelief, confusion, and overwhelming fondness, as he continued to stare around Johns room, smiling softly at the pile of Disney movies that sat beside the small television. Everything about the room was soft, gentle, calming; it was only after last night Alex final began to understand why John, who had proved several times over he could hold his own in any heated debate, still had an air of vulnerability around him, something that made Alex instinctively feel the need to protect and shield. For all his performance, John was fragile; strong, and brave, and determined too; but fragile, and delicate, and one trigger, one wrong move away from falling apart at any given moment. And maybe, just maybe, he could stop feeling guilty for these feelings. It was with Johns sketch in mind that Alex hoped maybe his own feelings of affection for John may not be at least entirely unfounded.

Thoughts still circling his mind, Alex crossed back to Johns bedside, grabbing his phone from the side. John was far too peacefully asleep for Alex to disturb him and keep a guiltless conscience – moreover he needed this rest. Panic attacks were not known for being fun or rejuvenating. Seizing one of the stray pens and a stack of post-its, Alex scribbled out a quick note, stuck it to the TV, and with one last glance at the still slumbering form, left the room with only a soft snick of the lock as the door swung shut behind him.

***

When John began to stir a few hours later, his mind was immediately flooded with memories of the night before. Jolting awake, he turned, but instead of finding the comforting warmth of Alex beside him as he’d hoped, he was instead met only with cold, crumpled, empty sheets.

Immediately, his heart started racing, mind accelerating to 100 thoughts per minute– of course he’s gone, you probably scared him off, who would stay once they’d seen you like that. Did you really think he wouldn’t realize how pathetic you are, that there’s be even a chance he’d still like you enough to be here-

It was only at the sight of the luminescent yellow post-it note stuck to the TV screen his racing mind ground to a halt, breath catching his throat, hope suddenly rising in his chest again. Dragging his comforter with Him, John crossed the room, recognizing Alex’s familiar chicken scratch as he read.

“John,

Sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye, I had an 8AM lecture. I’ve already called the office – stay home sick today, you need to rest. You wouldn’t work through the flu – this is no different. Just stay in bed, watch a film (Personally I recommend Tangled), drink tea. Take some time out – it’s okay, and necessary sometimes. I’ll be back after class. Promise. I’ll even bring take out.

Love,

Alex x”

John bit back a smile, the panic receding in waves, slowly ebbing away. He did still care. He did still like him. He was coming back.

It was okay.

***

Two weeks later, lower New York city is a sea of rainbow, the atmosphere an electric whirlwind of color comprised of dozens of tie dye shirts, hundreds of placards, thousands of rainbow flags in various forms and sizes. The steady beat of the samba band leading the parade forms a backdrop for the thrum of excited chatter from the ever-building crowds, people of all colors, creeds, genders, sexualities, joining together, a united body. Everywhere you look, people are smiling and laughing and embracing, embracing one another and embracing their true selves, masks and pretenses falling away for this one day where for once, no one is excluded or forgotten.

Two boys walk with this crowd. One has honeyed skin that glows in the July sunlight and has sparkling eyes that are ablaze as he chants loudly with the crowd and brandishes a rainbow placard, his t-shirt screaming more pro-LGBT+ slogans. The other, a mess of sea-green eyes and wild curls and freckles, giggles fondly as he is pulled along behind his boyfriend, rainbow stripes adorning his speckled cheeks and a pride flag sticking out form where it is skewered through his unruly bun, a pastel green sweater hanging loosely off his slight form. They walk, fingers intertwined, with a group of people who make them feel more accepted and whole and enough than they’d ever believed possible. And as Alex swoops down to capture Johns lips in a firm, sweet kiss, John knows he has finally found a place, or rather a person, he’d be happy to call home.

#hamilton #HAMILTRASH #lams #lams fic #lams headcanon #college au #alexander hamilton #alex #john laurens #john #modern au #hamilton fic #oneshot #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #lafayette #gilbert du motier marquis de lafayette #marquis de lafayette #mulligan #hercules mulligan #broadway #theatre #fanfiction #broadway show #fanfic #writing

[ghostofmoriarty]

Fictional Favorites Tag Game

I was tagged by @yourgoodfriendraichel so here goes  I am going to follow in Raichel’s footsteps and put this under a break, because oooh boy did it get long  1. What is your MBTI? It changes every time I take the test, but  INTP /INTJ are my most common results 

2. What is your Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw. I’m quite the academic these days.

3. Are you a book person or a TV person? I love books on principle, but I love tv so much and it’s so much more CONVENIENT.  (this is @yourgoodfriendraichel‘s answer, but it’s so 100% accurate, I’m keeping it) 

4. What is your favorite book series? Harry Potter will always have a special place in my heart, as will Percy Jackson and Cirque du Freak. I love Dirk Gently (Douglas Adams was an amazing writer through and through) and Sherlock Holmes because I am garbage for a good detective story.  ASOIAF and the entire Tolkienverse (LotR et al) are some of my favorites. Oh! And The Sparrow, there was a sequel so it counts as a series. I haven’t read the sequel yet, but The Sparrow was legitimately one of the greatest books I have ever read and I am super excited to check out the sequel when I have a few days off of work that isn’t dedicated to mowing the lawn (it's been raining sooo much here)

5. What is your favorite TV series? I love so many tv series. Aquabats! Super Show! will always be in my top 10. I am garbage for TURN: Washington’s Spies even though I think it’s kind of terrible, oooh and Dirk Genty’s Holistic Detective Agency, can’t believe I forgot about that one, I was literally just talking about the books. And no matter how angry I get at Doctor Who, I will always return to watch the new season (this last season was really good, thank god) but I think Classic Doctor Who is a thousand times better than the reboot

6. Which fantasy universe would you most like to live in?  I don’t know, because in any universe I won’t be the hero (I’m not even the hero/protagonist in THIS universe, so why would it be any different in a fictional one?) so I would need one that I could live happily and not be incinerated by dragons or forced to fight some nobleman’s war. Yeah, I’ve managed to talk myself out of every fantasy universe I could think of. How about Harry Potter? Yeah, sure Hogwarts has a scarily high student fatality rate for a high school and there’s a massive war every couple of decades that wipes out half the generation, but magic would be fun. I think I would take a short life with magic over a long life without it (assuming that I don’t end up a muggle or a squib, of course)

7. Favorite character ever? Finn from Star Wars, Sansa Stark from ASOIAF (note: ASOIAF and NOT GoT), Prince Charles Edward Stewart from Outlander…. That’s a really weird one, but Outlander was one of the most horrible (and uncomfortable) shows I have sat through but I really loved Bonnie Prince Charlie?? He was just an idealistic ray of sunshine in this bland, bleak wasteland of a tv show. He wouldn’t make the list if my hatred for the show was any lessened, but because I hate the show so much, my love for him is exemplified immensely. Anyway, Theodore “TBag” Bagwell from Prison Break, the entire cast of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Pietro Maximoff (and 99% of all XMen), Sauron, etc. So many.

8. Character you would like to personally slap in the face: Abe Woodhull from TURN: Washington’s Spies. He’s terrible, through and through.

9. Character you would like to personally murder: CHLOE FROM LIFE IS STRANGE. I WOULD HAVE MURDERED HER SO HARD IF MY GAME DIDN’T GLITCH ON THE LAST LEVEL.  *she’s a terrible human whose manipulative and abusive. WLW deserve better options in both general representation and romanceable wlw characters in video games

10. Character you would gladly intern under:  Any of the Xmen (can I be a plucky assistant who has a really lame super power but still tries to help, please???)  OOOOOH and Larten Crepsley from Cirque du Freak (I LOVE HIM, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW also he is in my top 5 favorite characters of all time, so I can’t believe I left him out in the fave character section)

11. Character you would totally have tea with: I don’t drink tea, but I’d probably go on a late-night coffee run with the entire Star Wars cast or Aquaman. Aquaman probably hates coffee though, so The Riddler? Edward Nygma seems like an “up all night anxiously drinking coffee while finishing up some project (probably a criminal scheme)” kinda guy.

12. Character that you feel really needs a hug: The entire freaking cast of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (note: the tv show, not the books)

13. Character you love that you would probably hate irl: Most of them, to be honest. I am drawn to horrible people in fiction. Simcoe, TURN: Washington’s Spies (note: tv show version, not real-life verson); T-Bag, Prison Break; Cesare Borgia, The Borgias;

14. Character you would realistically be friends with irl: Ken, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency 

5. First character you had a crush on (if any): Jack Sparrow………

16. Favorite ships: ooooOOOh boy where to begin…. DISCLAIMER: when I say I ship things, I just mean I find the dynamic between the 2+ characters interesting and compelling. I don’t necessarily feel that they should be a canonical end-game romance (or even a romance at all), nor do I stan the relationship as healthy for either of the characters, nor do I feel that these relationships (platonic, romantic, or otherwise) should be heralded as a beacon of #goals to aspire to. I literally mean “hey those two have a cool dynamic, I wanna see more of that” -Master/Missy (I’ve been calling it “MASTERbator but I don’t know what the official ship name) (Doctor Who) -Anna Strong/Hewlett (TURN) -Foggy Nelsen /Matt Murdock (Daredevil) -Abe Woodhull/ Robert Townsend (TURN; note: Rob is too good for Abe but Rob’s reactions to Abe are too perfect to not ship) -Sansan (ASOIAF; I ship this 100% platonically) -Jaime and Brienne (ASOIAF; this is 100% not a platonic ship) -Finn/Poe -Han/Lando (we have NEVER heard the details of that card game, is all I’m sayin’) -Edward Nygma/ Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham/ DC; this is legit the ONLY reason I continue to watch Gotham. Everything else is garbage, but these two’s relationship, man. It’s so compelling, they’re so in love and so unwilling to put their differences and murderous tendencies aside to make their relationship work. I have so many feelings about this ship, okay)

-Joker/Batman (LEGO Batman; it was so beautiful, guys)

I have so many more, I don’t even know

17. Series (TV/book) that you feel ended terribly:  Harry Potter’s ending is literally a meme now, so I won’t do overboard explaining that one. BUT, The Hunger Games. Okay, so this fucking series has a female character who is constantly talking and thinking about how she doesn’t want any children, and how she doesn’t feel like she should be a mother, which is pretty progressive right??? Also, 2 and a half fucking books are building up to an end all war/ revolution and It’s gonna be the biggest damn thing ever, right??? WELL how does this book series end??? Katniss, the FUCKING  NARRATOR, gets hit in her head and blacks out, so she (AS WELL AS THE READER) misses the majority of the final battle, and THEN this series reveals that Gail (the less useless of the two potential love interests) may have caused the death of Katniss’ sister, so he leaves and Katniss chooses Peeta for no other reason than “well, I’m 17 so I should settle down with SOMEONE and you’re within proximity, so I guess you’ll do” and they get banished to District 12 where Katniss mothers a bunch of children because what else are you gonna do but fuck, and basically the entire ending is one piece of bullshit after the other (ALSO THE MOVIES FRAME THE ENDING AS “KATNISS IS NOW A MOTHER THEREFOR SHE’S REACHED HER POTENTIAL AS A WOMAN, ISN’T THIS A HAPPY ENDING” and fuck this entire series)

18. Series (TV/book) that had so much potential but was actually an epic disaster: Literally everything I watch. Dr Who, TURN: Washington’s Spies, Gotham, Sherlock, Game of Thrones; But hey, that’s what fanfiction is for

19. Worst book/movie/TV show you’ve ever read/seen: Ooooh I’ve read and watched some TERRIBLE things in my day.  Outlander. Outlander was pitched to me as having 18th Century Scotland and TIME TRAVEL. Some of my favorite things, aaaand it ended up being one of the worst things I have ever seen. 90% of it is just boring, but the other 10% involves, in my opinion, really poorly handled sexual assault. I won’t go into details here, but it was bad.  

Also, Borgias was fascinating, but bad. And TURN: Washington’s Spies. Honestly, I watch a lot of period pieces because I think the clothes are pretty or I am interested in the time period and/or historical events in which its set around, but then 99% of them are all really poorly-written soap opera-y dramas with nice sets and costumes.   20. Favorite book from your childhood: Harry Potter

21. 3 Favorite Tropes: Complex Family Dynamics (I think that’s more of a category of tropes than a trope itself, but I love me some fam drama), Happy endings for gays (that’s not really a trope, but it fills me with love and happiness every time it happens –which is rare), oooh I don’t know. I can’t think of any right now, but I do love a lot of tropes, I promise.

22. 3 Most Hated Tropes: Bury your Gays (killing off gay characters for no reason), Rape as empowerment (ie: when the narration treats a sexual assault as a motivator for women that “makes them stronger”); Man Pain (when a woman is assaulted/ threatened by the antagonist, and the main male-protag uses it as “motivation” to fight the antagonist. The story doesn’t allow the female character who experienced the trauma to be the focus of the story/arc, her traumatizing experience is not about her, it is ONLY there to develop the male character she is close to; the story essentially treats the male as the real victim)

23. Scariest thing you’ve ever watched/read: James and the Giant Peach

24. Anything you’d like to recommend? Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (please send me a message if you want to know what it’s about, it’s SO GOOD. It’s fun, quirky, unlike anything else, and it has a diverse cast including characters who are poc (and woc), characters who have disabilities, women who are badass, none of the women are ever sexualized at all, it has corgis, and mysteries, and scifi, and it’s just a big adventure. (I also recommend the books, and the 2011 tv series Dirk Gently)

25. Would you like any recommendations? I’m game for anything. I love period pieces, fantasy, science fiction, TIME TRAVEL, quirky detectives, gory things, child-friendly things, honestly as long as it has interesting characters I am game. I don’t even need a good story, just characters.

  Heeey I am terrible at tagging people. If you want to do the thing, please do! And tag me so I can read it :) Also, if you actually read this whole thing, then you deserve all the gold stars, thank you!

#about me #if you want to do this then i tag you you are tagged #thank you for tagging me #yourgoodfriendraichel #:D #also if any of you actually read this #i get pretty heated about fandom things further down #my hatred for hunger games adn chloe from life is strange to name a few

[manifestationsofawanderings-blog]

Remembering my Father, Things I Never Got to Say

Remembering My Father

It has been 12 years since the sudden passing of my father. To say it had a profound impact on my life would be an understatement. It changed me in ways I never even realized, changes in myself I could not see until I began my journey of self-development late last year. The following post is a tribute to my father, the man who moulded me into the individual you see before you today. Remembering the good times and the bad.  

Over the past few weeks I’ve been trying to reach back and pluck out my earliest memories of my father. The ones that keep coming back to me are of us doing karate in the kitchen. Well, it was Dad trying to teach us karate and mostly us jumping off of counter tops thinking we were ninja turtles. This memory really got me thinking as to what kind of man my father was, and I can honestly say i now know where my weirdness hails from. Growing up in Balinora, Leaving school early to become a tradesman and winding up being one of the last French Polishers to obtain his papers in Ireland my father was a craftsman through and through. That is still evident to this day within our house. Cabinets all over the house in pristine condition 34 years after being installed, decking towards the back of the house that allows us to host BBQ’s on these wonderful summer evenings (which was completed during a long stretch off work off work thanks to Gout!), Garden furniture etc. His work is also evident throughout the country. Closest to home would be the Bar in Hayfield Manor. Dad constructed and installed the bar for the prestigious 5* hotel which will always hold a special place in my heart having plied my trade there as well. To say my father was a talented tradesman is an understatement. To say he had a wide range of interests would also not do him justice. If the position of Groundskeeper of an estate house, bow and arrow marksman and black belt karate sensei all tied in one were available, he would have been a shoe in. A memory that speaks to the trickster in him brings me back to Halloween circa 1994. We were next door at my uncle’s house and as we were leaving this looking white ghost like figure vaulted the wall with the grace of Shergar and glided towards us! My poor grandmother nearly had her 3rd heart attack on the spot and I dropped my KitKat and bowl of Pringles. Turned out to be dad in a bed sheet! I later evolved this costume to include roller blades to add a better gliding motion but that’s a different story. This is who he was. A prankster.  

Many of my fondest memories come from our family holidays. As youngsters we were taken on little trips to Galway and spent many a long weekend camping in Barleycove. These were special times and the arguments over how to put up the tent were always of biblical proportion. We also went on a number of trips across the Irish to Wales. Garth Brooks song “Ireland” was always the first song played on these trips. We stayed in caravan parks, went on trips to Oakwood Theme Park where the only ride Dad would go on would be the Toboggan Rides. We went to slate mines in the mountain and on a trip to see where King Arthur was buried. To us as kids these were days filled with wonderment and joy. For Dad it must have been boring as hell, but he did it all with a smile and joke and created happy memories for us. To some up the man he was and his sense of humour i have one story I love to tell. When holidaying in France we stopped in a small village to get some lunch on the trip south. Mam was driving and was reversing into a parking space. Dad was leaning out the window doing the “you’re alright, you’re alright back away” routine. Suddenly without warning he yelled “Jesus watch out for the child!!!!!” and he slapped the side of the car. Of course Mam thought she was after killing a young Frog and was going to create an international incident (not sure why she was worried about this, the French would surely have surrendered to us in a short space of time) and was freaking out. After realizing there was no dead child the rest of the trip south was frosty to say the least. The silence was only broken by Dad giving directions, another comical exchange as his pronunciation would not have been the best! But it is by far one of my fondest childhood memories. It also explains where I get my warped sense of humour from as it is exactly the kind of prank I would pull!   

A lot would change in the 3 years after this French Exchange. Within those 3 years Dad passed on and my life changed on a dime. 

The morning my father died will live with me forever. Having come home from work the day before complaining of being sick he spent the entire night in bed. The next morning instead of going to work with my uncle I opted to stay home at mam’s request in case Dad, who was still very sick needed anything. I walked down the lane to tell my uncle I would not be working that day. Little did I know within an hour I would be calling him to tell him Dad had passed. As I was walking back up the lane I had a sudden sense of dread and began to run. To this day I don’t know what prompted me to do so. As I got closer to the house I heard a scream. I ran faster. I got the house to find a scene no young boy should have to face. My mother was administering CPR to my father, also trying to communicate with the ambulance crew en route. Having taken over CPR duties for a few minutes I went outside and waited for the ambulance. They arrived and within seconds were working on Dad. A few minutes my world stopped as they confirmed what I already knew to be true. Dad was gone. 

The rest of that is somewhat of a blur but the mornings events will stay with me forever. Word began to filter out and neighbours and family began to flock to the house. We made the extremely tough phone call to my brother to inform him of the news, he was working in Cavan at the time. The respect and admiration I have for his co-workers at that time is unparalleled. Without hesitation and to the detriment of their business they piled Nigel into a truck and bootlegged it home. I am forever grateful to those men for doing such a thing. 

The next few days went by very quickly and the situation was overwhelming to say the least. The one comfort I got from the whole thing was seeing how loved the man I called my father was. People I had never even met came from far and wide to pay their respects. All offered anecdotes and shared stories, at the time they seemed insignificant but in the years after became a comfort. Stories like when he went to see the Boss (Bruce Springsteen) in Dublin with his friend Kizzie (RIP) and Kizzie’s father. Something went down and he and Kizzie’s father ended up in fistie cuffs with some young fellas. Through some miracle he managed to sweet talk the security, get the lads thrown out and managed to get into the vip section right up the front. Silver tongued devil. A trait myself and my brother have both inherited.    

At the time I was very angry. Angry because I felt I now had to step up. At the age of 17 I felt I had to grow up faster than most and it seemed that overnight I went from being a young care free lad to a man. Bear in mind I still had a leaving Cert to do. I was confused. What do I do now? How do I deal with this? Resentment for the fact he was going to miss so much. I looked around and continue to look around and see friends celebrating events with their fathers. Father’s Day pints, going to matches, celebrating weddings, celebrating graduations, becoming grandfathers. I know I will have any of these things and it hurts. All I have are memories. Memories of him coming from work late, leaving the peas boiling in the pot and falling asleep and coming into the kitchen nearly on fire and the worst smell I have ever encountered. Actually no, the worst smell I have ever encountered was when he gave our dog Paddy some left over curry. Sitting room was uninhabitable for around 3 weeks. Seriously it was Chernobyl.  

So I dealt with it the only way I knew how. I buried my feelings. I put on the brave front and became the jester of the group. In recent times we have heard many stories of how comedians mask their pain through comedy. I see a lot of that in myself. I tried to immerse myself in so many things I tried to limit my free time as much as possible. This was easy in the early years. Hurling, Football, Study, Work all helped. Before I knew it i was off to college. Before I knew I was after 2 stints and had completely changed direction on my professional career.     All the while I carried this deep resentment with me. Why did he have to go? At the time of my life when I needed him most? 

I have had many failures and let many people down in the last number of years. Some part of me has always blamed this on the fact I lost my father. It has only been in the last year or so I have realized that losing my father has made me a stronger person, and he gave me all the tools I needed to succeed in life and be the best version of myself. He instilled a work ethic that is unrivalled. To the day he died the man worked himself to the bone. 14 hour shifts are a regular occurrence for me now. I don’t think I would be able for these if he had not set such an example. He was an extremely generous man, many times to his own detriment, but he was always there to help a lending hand. Whether it be helping a neighbour restore a vintage tractor, taking my Grand Uncle to Whiddy Island to see where he grew up, buying a round of drinks in the bar he was always a very giving and generous person, A trait I hope to carry and utilize every day. He was a comedian, always had a joke. Mostly simple puns but he was so quick off the mark. I see this in myself. I know it annoys people when I always have something to say, but it was bred into me from a young age.

All in all my father was a good man. He tried every day to make the world a better place. Not on a mass scale but in everyday life. Whether it be cracking a joke about taking the horse to France, about a suspected terrorist we saw hanging around the boat club in Kinsale (he loved boats, ironically could not swim), helping a neighbour or leaving work early to drop us to a training or a match, in his own special way he was always there. 

In the last year I have made some pretty significant changes in my life. Part of that process of self-discovery has been to let go of my bitterness towards the man who gave me life. Passing on was not his choice, but the brief time he had on this earth he marched to the beat of his own drum. He loved life and took it as it came. He had dreams that went unfulfilled. I plan on fulfilling as many of those dreams as possible. He loved dogs, and always wanted a Husky. This past week we added little Loki to our Family. Dad always wanted to buy a Jaguar, A Jag will be my next car. He always wanted the best for his boys, so i will do my best to live my best life and make you proud. Have a pint of Murphys in heaven and rest easy. 

I will play some Garth Brooks in your honour.