#nails done | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unknown-internet · 10 months

Text

Cry at the Nail Salon

You go to a nail salon to go get what you want

but once you are there you forget and

start to second guess yourself

and wonder if that’s actually what you want.

The young lady starts by asking you questions

about how you want your nails and you say yes

I mean you know the shape and size you want

But the color?

You’ll think about it later.

After a long week

You just want to relax and some self care

And sometimes nail techs can be harsh

with their craft so you mentally prepare yourself.

The moment the lady touches your hands

it felt like a gentle breeze has

come in and lifted you from the place

her hands so soft and delicated

with every movement she does.

You almost feel taken aback by such gentleness

that you try to remember when was the last time

someone was this gentle to you

or the last time someone has touched your hand

as a way to say

“I’m here for you”.

You appreciate such gentleness like it’s a gift from God

You feel such kindness from her movements

to the point you don’t want to move

to bother her craft

And if you do

You apologize every second

hoping she doesn’t get upset at you

and decides to be harsh to you

but she doesn’t.

No matter how slightly the move was from your finger tips

she continues to do her craft with such tenderness

as if you were an important person

but you aren’t, you know?

you’re just a normal person

who just goes to work

pays bills

and tries their best everyday, so why receive such treatment?

She continues to do her craft and asks you what shape

you would like on your nails

and you tell her

then you keep getting phone calls

the ringtone that you just added to your cell

and is excited to hear it every time

but the caller isn’t excited about you.

You can’t come to the phone

because you are busy and your hands are occupied

when aren’t your hands occupied?

The nail tech still has your hands with pre nails

that have yet to feel comfortable on your hands

you try to pick up but the nails are so long

you start asking yourself

how does Carbi B do it with such nails

if you can barely make your hands

feel comfortable

and you slightly laugh.

The caller keeps calling

and now your nails are the size you wanted

you reach the phone and answer

an answer that sounds horrid

that starts saying

“Why are you not picking up the phone?”

“What are you doing?”

“Are you with someone else?”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Don’t ever talk to me.”

Before you can form a sentence to say back

The call ends and your mind

blends all those sentences in a blender

and it says:

“You are a bad person.”

You start feeling guilty

You feel guilty for having a nail tech do your nails

and your brain tells you

“You should do your own nails instead of paying for it

why do you even deserve to have someone else do it for you?

This nail tech probably hates you and wishes you didn’t come.”

So you start feeling bad for the nail tech doing her job

she notices how tense you are and while all these negative

thoughts consume you

she brings you back and says

“relax”

You know she mostly said relax because your hands are tense

and she can’t do her job properly if your hands are like that

so you calm down

but when she told you that

she said it in a way that massaged your brain

that not only were her hands gentle with you

but her words too.

You start to wonder when was the last time

someone told you a nice thing?

You are the only one

that only says nice things to yourself

but when was the last time you truly felt noticed?

After the phone call

basically telling you that you are a bad person

I mean why should someone care about you

if all you do is cause pain and discomfort

to other people

why should you receive such

gentleness from a person?

You start to wonder if you even deserve to

enjoy the wonders of life

everyone tells you to enjoy your life

to make your life

then later say

“Why do you have life?”

The lady continues to do her job

you hear the news happening in front of you on a small tv

you look around and you see each seat in the nail salon

is taken and how everyone is enjoying their time

getting their nails down.

You hear the water splashing and rushing in the feet tubs

and all ladies seated on the chairs

with phones on their hands

with loud gum chewing

and high pitched voices talking among each other

You are invested in the surroundings that

you hear a mumble from your nail tech

and you say

“Excuse me?”

She simply laughs and says

“No, I’m talking to her.”

I nod and I look away

Hearing her talk in Chinese among her peers and her mom

from across the room

like a community

that only they know of

and you are just a bystander

hearing unknown sounds.

You start to wonder if the lady has a good relationship with

her mother

and if so

what’s her secret?

Apparently everything you do

never seems to work

and you tried every remedy

suggested by a therapist

excluding the part of

Cutting all contact

because if you do

your heart will tear in two

and you can’t imagine a life without your mom.

Family is always complicated

You wonder why?

Why do families have to be complicated?

Why can’t we just be normal?

Now it’s time to pick a color

Have you thought of one?

Too busy thinking about

what you done wrong?

You stick with your first choice

The choice you had

before second guessing yourself

and now you like it.

You wonder why you even second guessed yourself?

This lady is so nice to you

It was nice and before you are ready to pay

She changes the game

She starts massaging your hands.

She is massaging your hands.

You thought her hands could not get anymore gentle

than how they were when she was doing your nails

but she proved you wrong.

With hand lotion ever so slightly

over your palms

and helps you release tension from your hands.

Hands that have been carrying the weight of too many

and no one has carried yours.

This euphoric feeling feels too good to be true

and everything comes to an end

when you finally have to pay for her service

and you thank her for all her work

and the kindness she gave you.

After being in the nail salon for an hour

you think to yourself

this is a good time to call back

since your mother probably calmed down

you know her tactics

she doesn’t mean what she says when she’s mad

and has told you before to not believe her words

when she’s upset.

You call back

The person you have dialed is not available right now.

You find it strange but think maybe your mother

is in another call

so wait a while and call back again

The person you have dialed is not available—

You end the call

and you realized you been blocked by your own mother.

You slightly sigh.

You take a deep breathe and you feel the sting in your heart

You start to wonder why a nail tech that was doing her job

showed more kindness than your mother ever did.

It’s always damn if you do

or damn if you don’t

with your mother.

You didn’t realize it

but you slightly cried in the nail salon

your eyes were covered by your sunglasses

so no one can see you

but now that you have left

the sunglasses stay on

even if there is no sun

so you can slight cry some more

as you stand in the middle of the sidewalk

watching people pass by.

You know your mother is only doing this

to make you feel guilty

it’s one of her many tactics that you know

you know her more

than she knows you

because she thinks that you will fall for it

and forget all about your boundaries

but you know she doesn’t know you

if she did

she wouldn’t act like this

because if she knew how much she actually

is pushing you away instead of

bringing you under her wing.

She doesn’t control you

if she did then you wouldn’t be

halfway across the country.

Families are complicated.

Especially if your parents were

emotionally absent

and neglected you

and one of them left to ghost town

and one is around but will make you feel

like crap all day if you don’t follow their demands.

I mean what can you do?

Cry at the nail salon.

2 notes · View notes